#'vent' is used for lack of a better word
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About to riot
I want doordash burger king. Which is maybe close to $11. I have less than a dollar in my bank account. Gdi
Is this the part where I'm petty and eat all the bread in the cupboard? Maybe. Who knows
#not skeleton stuff#rambles#feel free to ignore me I'm just venting (?) ig#'vent' is used for lack of a better word#i am the only one washing dishes in this house of slobs#I'd like to make as few dirty dishes as possible#even talking about the dirty dishes makes me combative and i hate it bc no one listens or TRIES to get it#so doordash#and occasionally frozen stuff are my go to food sources#its either that or i graze on trail mix all day#i make a lot of sandwiches too
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#just needed to vent for a sec but oh god am i tired of people#'friends' both irl and online got me fucked up lately#mental healths been in the shitter almost nonstop this year#familys always got me up the wall#i just feel like I'm constantly treading water and i am *tired*. like so fucking TIRED#it's never enough; it's too much; no not like that; but not that either; it's all wrong wRoNg WrOnG#ik im sleep deprived and possibly pms-y and that is most certainly not helping things rn but...#gods i see less and less of a reason to get out of bed and bother with anything ever again#wtf is the purpose#i can't keep friends to save my life bc im apparently a fuckin doormat and interesting as unflavored rice or smth#how hard is it to feel like you maybe sorta kinda matter and aren't an unlovable worthless piece of shit#years of therapy; trying meds; everything under the sun.... and nothing. lows and highs and dips of every kind and yet ..nothing#and maybe im just very much in my feelings rn and just yelling into the void.. but it hurts and im tired of pretending it doesn't.#i hate how hard it is to make friends as an adult especially irl. and how gossipy and cliquey and gross and mean ppl can be#of getting called childish and naive and boring for wanting to be a decent person and having interests outside of partying#(not attacking those traits but tired of getting attacked for *not* being 'fun' enough or 'social' enuf or 'sensitive' for having feelings)#enough*#i just want to go eat drywall and stand in the rain and let it help me pretend im not crying blood rn.#like every cell in my body isn't trying to spontaneously combust.#'it gets better' ..yeah? when. when i was 14? when i was 23? when im 37? when im 55? 82? WHEN.. bc im so sick and tired#and no this isn't me writing a final note or whatever it sounds like; i just wanted to word vomit bc ive never been good w sadness#and ive got such an overwhelming amount of it rn i can't even turn it into anger & spite & use that for productivity... i just want to rot#to lie down and be covered by plants as i sleep and just slowly fade into a cloud or smth like it's a ghibli movie or wtv.#im like shaking from how stupidly emotional i feel rn. the lack of empathy these days is fuckin astounding#common sense & empathy are lacking in absolutely droves these days. some days i hate the internet & tech for its irreparable damages sm#but here we are and here it shall remain. long after us; and *long* after us ..... *sigh*#anyway ima go try to take a nap or smth. I'll see ya when i see ya. take care my lovelies#if u read all this i prob owe you a cookie lol
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Accidentally gave myself exposure therapy! Results? Police report.
#crab says words#dont worry guys im okay!!!#i got physically assaulted by multiple grown men at a park today but someone else stepped in to help before it got bad#first time filing a police report my lack of being able to identify what people look like ever aha go brr#physical abuse trauma made the panic go thru the roof fr tho#i think i held myself together amazingly well didnt have a breakdown until i got back to the car#the amount of death threats screamed at me tho#before i got out of the car i joked about getting hate crimed but i didnt think it would actually happen my bad honesty#i knew what i was walking into i shouldve expected it hdksjdjdjd#sorry for rambling#again im okay dont worry#just very shaken up#it was a celebration for a friends birthday who committed suicide. he was trans. his parents did not accept that.#they really didnt like that i was wearing a “be proud” pride shirt to this gathering or that another of his trans friends was with me#we were expecting to be verbally assaulted and treated poorly but not physically assaulted and given death threats again totally my bad#shouldve expected horrible people to be horrible#im just glad that all of us are okay and the police report was filed so hopefully something might possibly be done about it#i dont have high hopes since i couldnt identify anyone but its better than nothing#sorry for this entire post honestly it was just a lot and i needed to vent aha
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it only took 12 interviews i guess for somebody to bring up 9/11 to me
#longer than I expected! I appreciate that. I guess.#anyway we should make a rule where these people don���t get to speak about 9/11 anymore. ive heard enough from White Man From Carolina. stop#there are actually other things you can speak about to a person from nyc. hard to believe but it’s true!#it didn’t happen to him it happened to me! and I know better! I know better!#one of the most insane things about the culture surround 9/11 is that it is simultaneously#valorized in this histrionic performance of grief (for propaganda purposes)#and also like. not treated as a real thing that happened to people. like as if it was a news-only event#it exists in the white american consciousness SOLELY as a rhetorical device. an excuse for islamaphobia hate and violence. war propaganda.#but not as the worst day of my childhood. not as an incredibly tacky topic to introduce in a 20 minute interview with a relative stranger#it only exists on tv. just like all of the monstrous wars we used it as an excuse to start!#who was it who wrote… im thinking of a passage I read about our wars in Afghanistan and Iraq#where the author said because of their distance and the lack of impact on american day to day life the american people experienced them#primarily as a media event#that’s how it always goes I guess! so it fucking goes#I really should know better than to post this but i needed to vent. vent what a stupid word.
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woah i. wrote a lot.
#to me friend ^^ yk the. that one. i ended up writing several paragraphs . I'M RLLY GLAD W MYSELF WAHHH 😭😭#there's sm i don't know yet though but i managed to. say at least a lot of what i've been meaning to say for a long time#i think i managed it maturely !!!! i reached out i'm so happy.#i want the best for my friend. n. yeah there's so much communication lacking but for now i think she needs space for herself#hopefully. sometime when all four of us r free we can. be direct w each other? yeah.#i'm. actually. mostly proud of how i'm handling this. hdfkajsdkfl wish i cld do so much more but..#yeah. this isn't enough. but i've taken a step at least. know i cld still do better but.#there's. rlly a lot i want to say. but. i think when we're all not quite as busy i'll try to yk. set a time where we can all talk#irl hopefully. hdjafsldf i rlly hope my words reached out to her tho :c#wish i cld still do more but i have my limits too n though i rlly try my best to be kind bcs i really mean it unconditionally#i have my boundaries.#i can't emphasize enough just how important it is to be able to do things for your own self so you can apply it to the rest of the world.#so.. i'll. say it outright here. i can't handle this on my own. all four of us have to put effort in it.#so. this seems a bit clearer at least. thankfully. aghhh i wrote a lot but i want to comfort her more directly too#i want to do. so much for each person in life i think i need to set more boundaries for myself or i'll get overwhelmed#n then it's not like every friendship has to have everything yk? but.#hdjaflsdfs no bcs for this. specifically rn. i care a lot for her she's one of my best friends after all n. for nearly 7 years#i know at least one of the things i rlly need in those sort of close friendships is. yk we can open up to each other n be honest#being honest at least. when it comes to venting i know i can just do that more on social media or. online friends#like when i say online friends btw 😭 i basically consider them irl friends n i value them very very much but#for the sake of. yk. we don't know each other irl irl so just difference in label. not the value n meaning it has for me.#so. yeah w ^^ we don't rlly share similar beliefs n views which is honestly pretty draining for me#so at the very least. hopefully sometime this/next month we can at least be direct abt that? to communicate so we can understand#i can understand ppl well enough like. uh. i'm good at piecing things tgther but there's so much gaps without direct communication#i can't guess all the time. but yk one thing abt myself that i'm. at least happy w is that. yk. i. can open up when needed#okay like it's hard when i have to do it directly to another person for my own sake but in this context w my friend. yes i can. 👍#that said though oh dear other than this. friend stuff rn there's also more i'm worried abt bcs. school. assignments. yeah#which i'll be able to do but i'm still a bit. stressed. n then for prom 10 per table but we're only 9 n we're all stags 😭😭#wanted at least to have my ^^ friend w me bcs. despite these stuff yk we're still friends :c but she's going w a partner yeah#n then there's more personal stuff too.. there's. a lot. too much to write. but i'll manage.
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"Saw traps for people with moral OCD" is a phrase that has embedded myself into my brain because, well, Saw traps for people with moral OCD are everywhere.
Stuff that basically amounts to...
"You have to listen to my opinions on [issue], or else you don't care about [issue]. (Constantly talks about how people like you are the absolute worst.)"
Anything that's functionally like, "you have to let me tear you down over things you can't control or you're a bad person."
Anything that's functionally like, "you have to let me vent to you whenever and however I want or else you're a bad person."
"If you enjoy X media/trope, you just hate Y people."
"Everyone knows that X thing is harmful/hateful; if you engaged in it, it's just because you were fine with perpetuating hate/harm."
"You should have just known better/should know this already!"
This thread over here talks about the inherent issues of putting this kind of stuff out there. The TL;DR is that it really only works on people who are mentally unwell and have poor boundaries, while just pissing off everyone else. It really doesn't matter if you're technically correct; you're still attacking people, and that means they're not wrong to block you.
I think that many of these Saw traps are created when people effectively write posts directed toward people who don't want to help, rather than the ones who do. Like, if you catch yourself writing an angry, shame-laden post, ask yourself: who are you writing it for and what are the odds you're going to change their minds? If your mental image is some smug fuck or angry reactionary, you're writing for the wrong person. Write for the person who's curious, who's willing to learn.
Also? Work on figuring out how to transmute negative feelings into positive, encouraging rhetoric. EG:
"Why is there no X positivity?" -> "Let's hear it for X!"
"No one cares about Y problem!" -> "Hey, we need more recognition of Y problem" or "I haven't seen many people talking about Y problem, so here's some info on what's up."
"If you don't reblog this, you don't care about [group]" -> "Please reblog this, it would mean a lot for us [group]."
And if you're really super duper frustrated and want to vent with a lot of nasty words and sentiments? Consider taking it to a private vent channel or a journal or somewhere that a stranger with moral OCD/scrupulosity isn't likely to run across it.
Remember, most people don't want to hurt anyone. More people are ignorant than malicious. People naturally want to do the right thing, so if you feel like you have to guilt them or shame them into it, there's probably a fundamental communication issue somewhere, or they simply lack the context to understand why what you're saying is so important.
#moral ocd#mental health#mental illness#ableism#scrupulosity#scrupulosity ocd#abuse#emotional abuse#communication
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crush culture — lee jeno ᡣ𐭩
summary : liking jeno was a mistake. kissing him didn't make it any better.
warnings : mentions of alcohol/drinking, kissing, cusswords, angst!! (this does not portray how the idols are irl, all the things here are written to match the song crush culture by conan gray!!)
wc : 6.3k
a/n : reader uses she/her pronouns !! jerk!jeno and bestfriend!mark :D thank u for 100+ followers ~~ cant believe i managed to pull out more than 5k words out of my ass >< my finals are currently happening so that's why i've been ia for soooo long :( i promise when i'm done i'll be clearing out both my drafts and requests ^^
Seeing your best friend, Belle, flirt with Jeno on your couch hit harder than you ever expected. The way they leaned into each other, laughter spilling from their lips like a sweet melody, made your stomach churn in a way that felt foreign and unwelcome. You had no right to feel this way, not when you knew about her crush on him. You had even agreed to be her wingman tonight, setting up this moment so she could finally have her chance. But somehow, along the way, you fell for him too, your heart weaving itself into a tapestry of unspoken feelings and bitter regret.
You should feel happy for her, after all her efforts to catch his attention, but the tight knot in your chest made it impossible to be anything but miserable. “It’s fine. Be happy. It’s your birthday, after all,” you whispered under your breath, trying to convince yourself. The words felt heavy, lacking the enthusiasm they were meant to carry. You exhaled a shaky breath before heading to the kitchen, desperate to escape the sight of them together.
The kitchen was warm, filled with the faint scent of alcohol and fruity punch hanging in the air like an unwelcoming fog. Mark stood by the counter, effortlessly mixing drinks with an ease that told you he’d done this a hundred times before. He glanced up as you entered, and a flicker of concern passed over his face when he caught sight of your downcast expression. He flicked his eyes toward the living room, and you knew he had noticed. Most of your friends knew about your crush on Jeno. It wasn’t something you talked about much, but the way your eyes lingered on him said enough.
“You okay?” Mark asked, his voice low, but the concern was clear, filling the space between you like a fragile glass.
You could only shrug, unsure of how to explain the whirlpool of emotions churning within your chest. It felt too complicated to articulate.
Without a word, he whipped up a drink, something colourful and sweet, and handed it to you. The condensation from the glass cooled your palm, but it did little to soothe the fire raging inside. The drink looked vibrant, but you could already tell it was just a disguise for the hollowness you felt.
“She’s kind of a bitch for doing that in front of you,” Mark muttered, glancing back at the couch, his fingers absentmindedly wiping down the counter. His words hung in the air like a lifebuoy tossed your way, and for a moment, it felt like they were offering you a chance to vent, to express all the things you were holding back. But you shook your head, pushing the thoughts down.
“Not really,” you sighed, taking a sip of the drink. The sweetness coated your tongue, but it tasted like nothing, a mere distraction. “I’m the bitch here. Liking the same guy as my best friend, after she tells me she likes him, that kind of thing breaks girl code.”
Mark furrowed his eyebrows, his confusion evident. “Girl code? Really?” He scoffed softly, shaking his head. “Come on, Belle falls for every guy who looks her way. Everyone knows that. Besides, you actually have a better shot, Jeno knows you, trusts you. You should go for it.”
You nearly choked on your drink, laughter bubbling up despite your mood. “Yeah, and get a reputation for stealing my friends’ crushes? No thanks, Mark. I’ll pass.” You handed him the empty glass, watching as he refilled it, his movements swift and practiced. The glint of the alcohol under the dim kitchen lights reflected how your emotions felt; messy and swirling, a whirlpool threatening to pull you under.
Mark sighed, exasperated. “It’s your party. Don’t let them get in your head. Go have some fun.” He handed you the new drink with a smile, but before you could take another sip, he added, “And don’t drink too much. You can’t handle it, and we both know it.”
But after two glasses, fun was the last thing you felt. The sight of Jeno and Belle still played in your mind, a vivid loop that made the alcohol churn uncomfortably in your stomach. You tried to find Belle in the crowded room, but she was nowhere to be seen. After asking around and realising Jeno wasn’t there either, the pit in your stomach grew deeper. You knew what that probably meant.
You found yourself wandering back to the kitchen, your mind foggy but determined to drown out the ache with another drink. Mark raised an eyebrow, clearly surprised to see you again. When you asked for yet another glass, he sighed deeply, a mixture of concern and frustration in his expression.
“This is your last one,” he warned, handing you the drink reluctantly. “You can’t handle much. I don’t want to have to carry you out of your own party.”
But Mark’s warning felt like a distant echo in your ears. By the time you were begging for a fourth drink, all caution had slipped away, and you couldn’t care less about the consequences. The music in the living room was thumping, laughter echoing like a cruel reminder of your current situation, and all you could feel was the weight of everything you couldn’t have — Jeno, your peace, the ability to not care.
“I already told you, no more drinks. You’re cut off,” Mark said, frustration clear in his voice. “I’ll get you some water instead.”
As he turned to open the fridge, you took your chance. The cold metal of a beer can brushed against your fingertips as you snatched it from the counter. You were so focused on your mission to drown out the pain that you didn’t notice Mark turning back toward you.
“y/n,” he snapped, his tone stern, “let go of the can. You’re going to regret this.”
You raised the can to your lips, but Mark was quicker. His hand reached out to grab it from you, and in the struggle, the can slipped from your grasp. The beer splashed everywhere — over your shirt, dripping down your arms, and pooling on the floor. The cold liquid seeped through your clothes, clinging to your skin, making you gasp at the sudden chill. Mark groaned, grabbing a napkin from the counter as you stood there, drenched, with a look of defiance still written across your face.
Undeterred, you tried to tilt the can toward your mouth, desperate to drink whatever was left inside, despite the mess. “Come on, y/n, you’re making this harder than it needs to be,” Mark sighed, exasperation laced in his tone as he managed to pry the can away for good this time.
The alcohol-soaked shirt clung to your body, the sticky sensation uncomfortable, but you were too far gone to care. The frustration bubbling inside wasn’t going to be soothed by just a drink anymore. You were angry, angry at Belle, at Jeno, at the fact that you had let yourself feel anything at all.
Before you could make another move, a strong hand wrapped around your wrist, prying you away from the counter. You froze, looking up into the familiar dark eyes you’d been avoiding all night — Jeno.
The world felt like it stopped as Jeno glanced from you to Mark, his brows furrowed in mild concern. “Help me out here, Jen. She’s had too much already, and she won’t listen to me,” Mark said, his voice weary but relieved that someone else could take over.
Jeno’s gaze softened as he looked down at your soaked shirt, a mixture of amusement and concern crossing his face. He let out a small sigh, his grip gentle but firm as he took the can from your hand and replaced it with a bottle of water. “You’re done with the drinks for tonight, okay?” he said softly, his voice holding the same care you’d heard earlier.
Before you could protest, Jeno wrapped his arm around you, guiding you out of the kitchen, away from the noise and the eyes of your curious friends. The walk to your room was a blur, but the warmth of his hand on your waist kept you grounded, even as the alcohol swirled in your system.
The sight of Belle sobbing into someone’s shoulder as you passed through the hallway barely registered in your hazy mind. You were too focused on the warmth of Jeno’s presence beside you, the way his touch lingered longer than necessary, as if he was anchoring you.
Once in your room, Jeno gently guided you to sit on the edge of your bed, his touch careful as if he was afraid you might fall over. His eyes roamed over your beer-soaked clothes, a soft chuckle escaping him. “You’re a mess,” he teased, though his voice held no judgment. If anything, it was laced with concern, the kind of worry that felt warm and comforting instead of scolding.
You glanced down at yourself, wincing as you finally took in the state of your shirt. The beer stains were obvious now, dark patches clinging to the fabric and sticking to your skin in an uncomfortable way. You grimaced, the sticky sensation making you feel even more self-conscious. The alcohol had dulled the sharpness of your embarrassment, but not entirely. A faint blush crept up your cheeks as you mumbled, “I should change…”
You attempted to push yourself off the bed, but your limbs were heavy, sluggish from the alcohol coursing through your system. Your balance wavered, and you nearly stumbled forward before Jeno’s hand gently pressed on your shoulder, keeping you steady.
Without saying a word, he crossed the room to your closet, rummaging through the clothes until he found one of your oversized t-shirts. He walked back to you with that same quiet focus, kneeling down to your level, holding the clean shirt in his hands. His gaze met yours for a moment, and something in his expression made your heart skip a beat.
“Here,” Jeno said softly, his voice just above a whisper. “Let me help.”
Your breath caught in your throat as his fingers reached for the hem of your beer-stained shirt. He moved slowly, giving you plenty of time to object, to stop him. But you didn’t. You couldn’t. The closeness of him, the way his eyes held nothing but tenderness. It was like the rest of the world had disappeared, leaving just the two of you in this charged, intimate bubble.
Jeno’s hands were careful as he lifted the fabric, peeling it away from your sticky skin with a precision that made your pulse quicken. The cool air hit you, contrasting the warmth of his touch. Every time his fingers brushed your arms, it sent shivers through you. It wasn’t overtly intimate, but the care he took in making sure you were comfortable made the moment feel far more meaningful than it should have.
Once your shirt was off, he handed you the fresh one, his eyes deliberately focused anywhere but your body, giving you the privacy to finish. You quickly pulled the oversized shirt over your head, feeling the soft cotton fabric glide down. Your cheeks burned, not from the alcohol, but from the way Jeno’s thoughtfulness had disarmed you, leaving your heart racing in its wake.
When you were finally settled in your clean shirt, Jeno took a step back, his hands awkwardly fumbling at his sides, unsure of what to do next. “Better?” he asked, his voice quiet but sincere.
You nodded, not trusting your voice. The warmth pooling in your chest wasn’t just from the remnants of alcohol, but from the way Jeno had cared for you, so gentle and attentive. The kindness in his actions made your emotions swirl even more intensely.
For a moment, neither of you spoke, the air between you heavy with something unspoken. The room felt smaller with Jeno in it, the atmosphere charged with a new kind of tension. It wasn’t uncomfortable though. If anything, it felt safe. Like he was there to make sure you were okay, to take care of you, in a way that made your heart feel lighter despite the whirlwind of the night.
Jeno’s eyes flicked from the bed to you, a soft concern still lacing his gaze. “You should get some rest. It’s been a long night.”
You climbed under the covers, feeling the exhaustion settling into your bones now that the noise of the party was long behind you. As you laid down, Jeno lingered by your side for a moment, his hand briefly brushing your shoulder before he moved to sit at your desk. His presence filled the room, grounding you in a way you hadn’t expected.
“Jeno?” your voice came out as a soft murmur, barely loud enough to reach him, but he turned to you right away.
“Yeah?”
You hesitated for a moment before whispering, “Thanks… for everything.”
A small smile pulled at the corner of his lips, the soft light in your room making his features look even kinder than usual. “Get some sleep, y/n. I’ll be here if you need anything.”
You closed your eyes for a brief second, trying to process what was happening. Jeno was in your room. The Jeno. The one who was always surrounded by friends, admired by so many. The same Jeno your best friend had been talking about for months, and the one you, slowly but surely, had found yourself falling for.
The alcohol still buzzed in your veins, loosening your inhibitions just enough to make you bolder than usual. This was your chance, maybe Mark had been right all along. Jeno was here, with you, taking care of you in ways that felt like more than just friendly concern. Maybe, just maybe, you weren’t imagining the way he stayed close tonight, the way his eyes lingered a little longer.
It was now or never.
The air in the room felt heavy, thick with unspoken words and lingering tension. Jeno sat at your desk, his steady gaze unreadable as you shifted under the covers, a mix of nervousness and warmth blooming in your chest. The alcohol had numbed your inhibitions, but the electricity between you both was impossible to ignore.
You pulled the blanket tighter around yourself, trying to ground yourself in the fabric, though it did little to help. “It’s cold,” you mumbled, barely audible, your voice betraying the hint of vulnerability you didn’t want to show. In truth, the room was a bit chilly, but more than anything, you longed for his presence next to you. The space between you felt far too wide, like an unspoken barrier you didn’t know how to cross without risking everything.
Jeno’s eyes flickered toward you, his hesitation lingering in the silence that stretched between you. After a beat, he stood up from the desk, his movements slow and deliberate, as if carefully weighing each step. Your breath hitched as he approached, and your heart pounded in your chest, anticipation curling in your stomach.
Wordlessly, Jeno slid under the covers beside you, his warmth instantly chasing away the cold. His scent, a comforting mix of cologne and something undeniably him, wrapped around you, making your head spin. Instinctively, you leaned into him, your head finding its place against his chest. His arm moved naturally around you, pulling you closer, and you melted into the embrace, feeling his heartbeat against your cheek.
With Jeno’s warmth cocooning you, the outside world felt like a distant dream. The party’s once-loud music had faded into a faint murmur, barely audible over the sound of his steady breathing. Every now and then, his breath grazed your hair, sending tiny shivers down your spine. You stayed perfectly still, afraid that even the slightest movement would break this fragile moment, this perfect stillness.
“Is it still cold?” Jeno’s voice was low, a gentle murmur that seemed to sink into your very bones.
A small smile tugged at your lips, and you pressed yourself closer to him, allowing the exhaustion of the night to wash over you. “Not anymore,” you whispered, your voice barely a breath. His arm tightened around you in response, as if silently saying that he wasn’t going anywhere. That, even just for tonight, you had him.
The soft light from the bedside lamp cast a warm glow over the room, its dim shadows creating a cozy, intimate space that felt removed from reality. The world beyond your bedroom door seemed to slow, leaving only the two of you in this quiet bubble, suspended in time. You found yourself wishing that you could capture this feeling forever, keep this warmth and peace bottled up in your heart.
Jeno’s hand rested on your waist, his fingers moving in slow, absentminded circles over the fabric of your shirt. His touch was so gentle, so careful, that it sent little sparks dancing across your skin. It wasn’t just the alcohol making you dizzy; it was the tenderness in every brush of his fingers, the way he held you like you were something delicate.
“You’re always running around, taking care of everyone,” he murmured softly, his words carrying a weight that tugged at your heart. “Who takes care of you, y/n?”
His question hung in the air, the raw sincerity in his voice cutting through you. A lump formed in your throat, and you blinked rapidly to keep the sudden tears at bay. You hadn’t expected him to say something like that. Who did take care of you? For as long as you could remember, you were the one who held everything together, the one who put everyone else’s needs before your own. But in this moment, with Jeno’s arms wrapped around you, it felt like someone was finally seeing past all of that—seeing you.
“I… I don’t know,” you whispered, your voice trembling as you admitted the truth aloud. “I guess I’m just used to it.”
Jeno shifted beside you, his body pressing closer, his breath now warm against your ear. “You deserve more than that,” he said softly, his voice low and earnest, each word landing like a promise. “You deserve someone who’ll take care of you, too.”
Tears pricked at your eyes, and you swallowed hard, trying to hold back the surge of emotions threatening to overwhelm you. His words felt too good, too perfect, and a part of you was afraid to believe them. Afraid to believe that someone like Jeno could really see you like that, could want to take care of you.
Still, in this moment, wrapped in his warmth, you allowed yourself to pretend — to imagine, if only for tonight, that this could be your reality. That Jeno could be yours.
His thumb traced another slow circle on your side, his touch so gentle it was almost hypnotic. “I don’t want you to forget tonight,” he whispered, his voice even quieter now, like he was sharing a secret meant just for you.
You turned in his arms, your breath catching in your throat as your eyes locked with his. There was something in his gaze, something soft and unspoken, that made your heart race. His face was inches from yours, his breath warm on your skin, and for a brief moment, time seemed to stop altogether.
You swallowed, the words escaping you before you could think twice. “What if I do?”
For a moment, Jeno’s expression darkened, his gaze flicking down to your lips before meeting your eyes again. Then, in a movement so gentle it felt like a dream, he leaned in, brushing his lips against yours in a soft, lingering kiss. The contact sent a shiver through you, your whole body reacting to the warmth of his touch.
“Then I’ll remind you,” he murmured against your lips, his voice barely above a whisper.
The night blurred into a series of quiet moments. Soft touches, shared whispers, and a closeness that felt too tender, too fragile to belong to the real world. You could have stayed in that moment forever, tangled in Jeno’s warmth, pretending that the world outside didn’t exist.
But, as always, reality had a way of creeping back in.
Jeno’s phone buzzed on the desk beside him, the soft vibrations shattering the stillness. He sighed, his arm loosening from around you as he reached for the phone, the glow of the screen illuminating his face. You watched as his brows furrowed, his expression tense as he scrolled through the dozens of missed calls and messages.
“Shit,” he muttered, sitting up, his warmth slipping away from you entirely.
The cold rushed in immediately, filling the space where Jeno had been, and your heart sank. You knew what was coming next.
“What’s wrong?” you asked, already knowing the answer but dreading hearing it aloud.
Jeno ran a hand through his hair, frustration evident in the set of his jaw. “The guys… They’ve been calling me nonstop. I told them I’d leave with them, they’re my only ride home.” His voice was tinged with regret, but beneath it, you could sense the guilt.
You forced a smile, trying to mask the disappointment that was tightening in your chest. “It’s fine,” you lied, propping yourself up on your elbow. “You should go.”
Jeno glanced down at his phone again, then back at you, his jaw tightening as he hesitated. “I don’t want to leave you alone,” he said quietly, his voice thick with the conflict swirling inside him.
You shook your head, the ache in your chest growing. “I’ll be okay,” you whispered, your words feeling hollow. “Really. Go.”
For a fleeting moment, you held onto the hope that Jeno might stay. The way he looked at you, his eyes searching your face with an intensity that made your heart race, felt like a promise unspoken. But then the phone buzzed again, shattering the delicate moment. You watched as his resolve shifted, the warmth in his gaze giving way to a distant sadness.
With a heavy sigh, he rose from the bed, the fabric of the moment tearing slightly as he slipped his phone into his pocket. The air around you felt colder, thick with unspoken words and lingering emotions, as if the very room held its breath. Just before he reached the door, he hesitated, turning back to you one last time. His eyes softened as they met yours, and he stepped back toward the bed, leaning down to press a tender kiss to your lips. It was soft and lingering, yet it carried the weight of finality.
“I’ll see you on Monday,” he whispered, his breath brushing against your skin, leaving a warmth that contrasted the chill that enveloped you after he left.
And then, he was gone.
The weekend stretched endlessly, an expanse of silence that felt like an aching void where his presence had been. No calls. No texts. Just the stark absence of his warmth and the echo of the night you had shared. With each passing hour, the memory of Jeno’s embrace faded, leaving you alone with your swirling thoughts and an unsettling sense of regret.
You spent the next two days trapped in a loop of memories, replaying every moment over and over. The way he looked at you with such intensity, the way he held you close, the sincerity in his voice when he told you that you deserved better. You ached to reach out to him, to check if he still remembered the fleeting magic of that night. But every time you reached for your phone, a wave of fear stopped you cold. The thought of his response, what he might say or, worse, what he might not say, paralyzed you.
By the time Monday rolled around, you had convinced yourself that maybe it was better this way. Pretending nothing had happened would be the safest path. After all, he would slip back into his life with friends, back to the way things were before, and you would have to bear the weight of your choices alone.
As you stepped through the school doors, you immediately felt the weight of stares bearing down on you. Whispers trailed you down the hall like a shadow, and you quickly pieced together the rumors that had spread like wildfire. Word had gotten out about you and Jeno, and Belle had undoubtedly heard every detail.
It wasn’t long before she found you. Standing by your locker, arms crossed and eyes narrowed, her glare twisted your stomach into knots.
“I can’t believe you, Y/N,” Belle hissed, her voice sharp and full of venom. “You promised me you’d be there for me. You said you’d help me with Jeno, and instead, you—” She cut herself off, her voice trembling with barely contained fury.
You swallowed hard, guilt and shame coiling tightly in your chest. “Belle, I—”
“No,” she interrupted, her eyes flashing with hurt. “Don’t. Don’t act like you didn’t know. Everyone’s talking about how you left the party together. You think I didn’t see the way he looks at you?”
Your heart plummeted, a heavy weight in your stomach. You longed to explain, to articulate that it hadn’t been what it looked like, that you hadn’t intended for any of it to happen. But deep down, you knew the truth: you had crossed a line, and no amount of explanation would erase the breach of trust.
“I didn’t mean for this to happen,” you whispered, your voice barely above a breath.
“It’s not fair. I was so close to having him, Y/N. I was right there, and then you had to ruin it for me.” Belle’s eyes glistened with unshed tears, but her expression hardened like ice. “You’re a liar. You promised to help,” she spat coldly, turning away from you. “You’re no better than the rest of them. Maybe you should’ve tried harder not to ruin everything.”
And just like that, she walked away, leaving you with the sharp sting of her betrayal echoing in the silence behind her.
You stood there, frozen, as the world around you faded into a blurry haze of whispers and judgmental stares. The hallway stretched out longer than usual, each step feeling like an uphill battle against the suffocating air thick with unspoken words. You could almost see the rumours swirling like storm clouds, brewing around you as classmates shot knowing glances. Some gleeful, others disdainful, while they whispered behind your back, oblivious to the truth.
You made it through the day by shrinking into yourself, avoiding everyone as if they were fragments of glass waiting to cut you. Each laugh from a group nearby felt like a mockery, reminding you of how the moments you shared with Jeno now felt like scattered shards, impossible to clean up without inflicting wounds on your heart. Every time you caught a glimpse of him in the halls, your chest tightened as his eyes flicked toward you for just a fleeting second before looking away, as if that one shared night had evaporated into thin air. Maybe it had for him.
The days following that night passed under a strange, silent agreement between you and Jeno. Neither of you acknowledged what had happened. No messages. No lingering glances. No awkward conversations. It was as if you had both silently decided that pretending it hadn’t meant anything was the easiest way to cope. But you couldn't shake the feeling that, to him, it truly hadn’t.
At school, Jeno slipped seamlessly back into the rhythm of his life, surrounded by his friends, laughter pouring from their mouths as if nothing had changed. He blended effortlessly into the crowd of popular kids, exuding an air of confidence that was painfully absent in you. Later, you overheard snippets of their conversations, casual, dismissive remarks. “She’s not worth it, man. You could do way better,” Haechan chuckled, as if your very existence was a punchline. Jeno merely shrugged, his indifference cutting deeper than any blade. “It was nothing.”
The words pierced through your carefully constructed defences, more painful than you could have anticipated. They shouldn’t have stung; after all, you had spent the entire weekend convincing yourself that you didn’t care, that it was just a fleeting moment. But those three words echoed in your mind, a relentless mantra: It was nothing.
Still, you played your part. Whenever you passed him in the halls or found yourself near his group during lunch, you donned a mask of indifference so convincingly that you almost started to believe it yourself. You laughed with your other friends, pretended to focus in class, and convinced yourself that forgetting was the best option. You were adept at pretending, had to be, but that night continued to linger, haunting you like a bittersweet melody you couldn't silence.
The only person who seemed to peel back your façade was Mark. You never spoke about that night directly, but he could read between the lines. He noticed the way your gaze avoided Jeno, how your laughter felt forced, and how your smile no longer reached your eyes.
One afternoon, when the weight of everything felt too heavy to bear, you found yourself gravitating toward Mark. He sat on the grass at the edge of the soccer field, scribbling furiously in his notebook. You dropped down beside him, the warmth of the sun contrasting with the cold ache in your chest. He looked up, brow raised, but he didn’t say anything right away, giving you space to breathe.
“I don’t know what I’m doing anymore,” you finally admitted, staring into the distance as the horizon blurred with your emotions.
Mark closed his notebook, shifting his full attention to you. “Want to talk about it?”
You shook your head, frustration bubbling inside you. “Not really. Just… everything’s a mess.”
He didn’t press you, but his unwavering gaze bore into you, his concern palpable. “You don’t have to pretend with me. I can tell you’re not okay.”
The tightness in your chest intensified at his words, and you forced a laugh that felt hollow. “It’s not a big deal. I barely even remember that night, anyway.”
Mark didn’t buy it. He never did. “You don’t have to lie to me. But if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s okay too.”
The silence stretched between you, filled with all the unsaid things that hung heavy in the air. You stared at the ground, fighting the emotions that threatened to spill over.
“Jeno didn’t say anything, did he?” you asked, the question slipping out before you could hold it back.
Mark sighed, leaning back on his hands. “He’s pretending it never happened, too. His friends… Well, they’re being assholes, like always. Told him he could do better. You know how they are.”
You nodded, the weight of disappointment sinking deeper into your bones. Of course they would say that. Of course Jeno would follow their lead. It was easier to dismiss the connection you had shared, to act like you hadn’t been wrapped up in each other, sharing warmth and vulnerability in a way that felt almost sacred.
Sensing your shift in mood, Mark nudged your shoulder lightly, offering a small smile. “Look, I’m not gonna pretend to understand what’s going on in Jeno’s head. But you deserve better than this, better than being some secret he feels like he has to hide.”
His words wrapped around you like a comforting blanket, yet they only amplified the ache in your heart. You wished it didn’t hurt so much, wished you could just move on like Jeno seemed to. But the truth was, that night had meant something to you. Even if you shouldn’t have felt that way, even if you tried to convince yourself otherwise, it did.
It wasn’t just the gossip or the whispers that hurt; it was the entire situation. The reality that you had gotten swept up in something so fleeting, yet so consuming. You felt like you were living on a stage, where every move was scrutinised, turned into something larger than life. Belle, Jeno, his friends; they were all part of that act, and now, so were you. You thought back to the party, to the fragile intimacy you had shared with Jeno, the way you had intertwined your lives for a moment. But the harsh reality was that it hadn’t been real. Not for him.
When you got home, you collapsed onto your bed, staring up at the ceiling, its familiar texture suddenly feeling foreign and oppressive. The quiet of your room suffocated you, amplifying the echoes of whispers and judgment that had followed you all day. It should have been a relief to escape the chaos, but instead, it was a stark reminder of how alone you felt. Gone were the masks and the laughter; all that remained was the haunting silence, thick with unspoken words and unresolved feelings.
Your phone buzzed, and for a fleeting moment, hope flickered inside you. Maybe it was Jeno, maybe he finally had something to say, something that could bridge the chasm that had formed between you two. But as you glanced down, the screen illuminated a message from Mark instead.
Mark: How you holding up?
You stared at the words, the glow of the screen casting a pale light over your uncertainty. Mark had always been the one to see beyond your carefully constructed façade, the only person who didn’t press for answers you weren’t ready to give. His concern was palpable even through the digital barrier, but the weight of your own feelings made it hard to respond.
You: I don’t know.
The reply felt painfully inadequate, a thin veil over the storm churning inside you. You tossed your phone aside, pulling your knees up to your chest, as if trying to protect your heart from the world outside. What did you even want at this point? Jeno wasn’t coming back to fix things, and Belle was probably rehearsing her next round of accusations. You felt caught in a strange, uncomfortable limbo, yearning to forget while being unable to erase the vivid memories of that night.
In the days that followed, you had tried to convince yourself the night with Jeno was nothing more than a fleeting mistake, a moment spurred by alcohol and the warmth of the moment. But now, as the realization washed over you, it became painfully clear: you had wanted it to mean something more. You craved the way he looked at you that night—not with the haze of drunken affection, but with something deeper, something that could fill the void you felt inside.
But he didn’t. He never would.
You remained motionless on your bed, eyes fixed on the ceiling, feeling the silence stretch around you like a shroud. Your phone buzzed again, probably Mark checking in, but you couldn’t muster the energy to respond. The weight of your decisions pressed heavily on your chest, reminding you of the loss that had settled in your heart.
You had lost your best friend, sacrificed your bond with Belle for something ephemeral, and now, you were left to pick up the pieces alone. And maybe that was what hurt the most. The realization that in the end, none of it had felt real. Not the intimate moments shared with Jeno, not the friendship you had thought you could count on with Belle. Everything felt built on a shaky foundation, fragile and destined to crumble.
As you lay there, you reached for your phone, hoping to drown out the noise in your head with music. You scrolled through your playlist, searching for anything that could take you away from this moment. And then it started, the familiar notes of Crush Culture by Conan Gray filled the room, wrapping around you like a bittersweet embrace.
With each lyric, you felt a rush of recognition that hit you like a truck. Crush culture makes me wanna spill my guts out. The words resonated deeply, echoing the tumult of emotions swirling inside you. It was as if Conan had taken the scattered pieces of your heart and crafted them into a song, pulling at the very strings of your soul.
The lines about fleeting moments, unreciprocated feelings, and the pain of wanting something that was never truly yours surged through you. You closed your eyes, allowing the music to wash over you, each note igniting memories of that night with Jeno. The way he held you, the laughter you shared, the promises whispered in the dark. But with each line, the weight of reality crashed down harder, reminding you of the distance that had grown between you since then.
Tears prickled at the corners of your eyes, the catharsis almost overwhelming as the song played on. You could feel every word burrowing into your heart, every melody capturing the longing you tried to hide. This wasn’t just about Jeno; it was about everything you had lost, everything you had poured into moments that turned out to be nothing but illusions.
And in that moment, you felt a fragile clarity. You might be lost now, but you wouldn’t stay that way forever. The lyrics continued to echo around you, each syllable a promise that you would find a way through the pain, that you could reclaim your voice, your heart, and maybe, just maybe, discover what it meant to feel whole again.
As the song faded into silence, you lay back against your pillows, allowing the tears to flow freely. It was time to face the truth, to embrace the chaos of your emotions, and to start piecing together a new beginning. And with that thought, you closed your eyes, a flicker of hope igniting within you. A hope that lingered long after the last notes faded away.
#im so sick rn lol#nct#nct dream#jeno#nct jeno#lee jeno#jeno x reader#jeno x y/n#jeno x you#jeno imagines#jeno fluff#jeno angst#jeno oneshot#jeno scenarios#nct x reader#nct x y/n#nct x you#nct imagines#nct fluff#nct angst#nct oneshot#nct scenarios#nct dream x you#nct dream x reader#nct dream x y/n#nct dream fluff#nct dream angst#nct dream imagines#nct dream oneshot#nct dream scenarios
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Joshua (SVT) | Head pats comfort | 0.9k | gn!reader A/N: inspired by shua being 2 apples tall in the new vid and @hanniedream trying to end my existence every single day
“Is everything alright?” you ask Joshua and take his hand when he sighs and leans down to kiss the top of your head as a greeting.
“Had a bad day,” he murmurs, “I’ll just take a quick shower and be right back.”
Usually you’d have enough time to prepare snacks and drinks for a comfy evening on the couch turned into a safe haven. However, he is true to his words and you barely manage to pull out the pillows and blankets before he comes back. He all but pulls you down on the couch and lies down on your chest. He doesn’t give you space to argue. And since he’s already lying on top of you, you know better than to expect to move any time soon.
“That bad?” you hug him closer. He just hums and rubs his cheek on your chest.
“The new choreo is really hard,” he explains after a while, “I can’t keep up.”
“I gave it my best but it’s too fast. I’m not the only one struggling but it feels like I’m the worst,” he rants on, “Maybe I’m just not fit to be an idol.”
“You know that’s not true, Shua,” you sigh, “It keeps getting harder, so it’ll take a while to adjust.”
He makes an unconvincing sound of acknowledgement.
“You’re amazing and you’re doing well despite the hurdles,” you say, rubbing his back. He melts into your embrace, so it’s a little surprising when he starts arguing.
“You’re just saying that,” he whispers like he didn’t mean for you to hear. But you did.
“Are you calling me a liar?” You accuse.
“No no,” he startles and gets up enough to face you. His eyes are wide and there’s a worried wrinkle between his brows. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m not mad,” you reassure, “I just wouldn’t say something I don’t mean.”
“I know,” he lies back down and hides his face into your neck.
“You can vent if you want, though,” you encourage.
At first he seems hesitant, placing a soft kiss on your neck without speaking up. That’s fine with you as well. After all, you don’t want to push him. His comfort is always your first priority. You hold him tightly, stroking up and down his spine with your other hand. At times it almost seems like he fell asleep, but even that would be alright.
“I just feel like I hit a wall,” he starts off quietly, “I don’t feel like I’m making much progress in anything. Definitely not as fast or as much as I used to when I was younger.”
“You’re right that the performances are getting harder, but I should be able to adapt, shouldn’t I? Soonyoung handles it fine,” he rambles on, sighing a little.
“Soonyoung is a beast though,” you remind him, making him chuckle.
“Yeah, but I’m still lacking behind the others too,” he confesses, no longer laughing. He sounds so discouraged you just want to do something to lift his worries, if only a little. “I’m too slow. I had a hard time with the recording too. I think I’m just, I don’t know. Maybe I’m not made for this, maybe I just got lucky that I could do this for this long and now my lack of talent is showing. Do you think I’m getting too ol-“
Joshua’s voice dies in his throat and he lifts his head to meet your eyes.
“Why did you pat my head?” He asks confused (but at least distracted).
“Took you a while to notice,” you huff, averting your eyes, “You always do it too.”
You don’t stop though and pat his head once again, then running your fingers through his hair. Just like he does when you are upset.
“That explains less than you think,” he smiles a little.
“It’s comforting when you do it. Makes my worries seem smaller,” you mumble, only looking at him when he turns your head with his fingers under your chin. You make a surprised noise when his lips meet yours in a gentle kiss. “I just couldn’t listen to you talk like that when I know it’s not true.”
“Are you calling me a liar?” He parrots your words from earlier.
“Yeah, Joshua, I am,” you roll your eyes, kissing him again, “So be a good boy and stop lying.”
He laughs, nodding before diving in for one more kiss. He adjusts his position so he can rest his forehead against yours without straining his neck.
“You know I would do anything for you,” he kisses your nose this time, “I just don’t think I can do it today.”
”I’m here for you,” you remind him, “You can tell me everything and if you lie I’ll correct you.”
He laughs, shaking his head. He connects your lips again before settling down on your chest again.
He makes you do as you promised, nuzzling closer whenever you remind him that he’s feeling down and shouldn’t take those thoughts too seriously as he shares all that’s been weighing him down. If he’s especially hesitant to admit to something, you remind him of his successes. He doesn’t like to hear about them, but still listens because he likes your voice.
And strangely, he likes it when you pat his head and run your fingers through his hair too.
#seventeen scenarios#seventeen reactions#seventeen imagines#joshua fluff#svthub#seventeen x reader#seventeen fluff#joshua x reader#svt scenarios#svt fluff#svt reactions#joshua scenarios#drabble#fluff
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TFP Shockwave with a pet human who he's come to be rather affectionate with absent mindedly and has become more interactive with them outside of experiments even. One day human goes missing / isn't in usual spot and Shockwave is trying to figure out wtf is going on but then a con makes a cruel joke (anyone of choosing I thought arachnid or starscream) that they fell out of their cage and got caught underfoot whoopsies . how does Shockwave react before the human comes out from their hiding spot where they were resting??? O_O
Out of Reach
Shockwave x human
Warning: none
Word count: 1k
Shockwave masterlist
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Shockwave grew increasingly troubled as his thorough search of the lab turned up no sign of his human companion. They were always precisely where he expected upon his arrival, yet this cycle they were nowhere to be found. A nagging unease arose within the Decepticon scientist, though he remained outwardly calm as he searched.
Shockwave diligently swept across the laboratory once more, searching for any trace or clue that could indicate the human's whereabouts or condition. This simply made no logical sense. They had never hidden from him, something must have happened. Had something interfered with the lab's systems without triggering alerts? No breaches were indicated. Shockwave did not appreciate unexplained variables in his work.The sooner this small mystery was solved, the better.
Arachnid watches with a smirk on her lips as Shockwave walks through the halls checking different areas and in hopes that his little companion was just hiding. "Missing something Shockwave?" She inquires with a raised optic brow, not looking rather interested.
Shockwave paused in his meticulous vent searches to regard the inquisitive Arachnid. She took far too much pleasure in others' losses, however minor.
"My human subject is absent from their Enclosure without explanation," he stated flatly. No sense indulging her obvious gloating. "Their whereabouts remain unknown." Her smirk only widened. "And you thought you had everything so neatly ordered. Surprises happen, even to our beloved scientist." Her tone held thinly veiled mockery. "Perhaps a fleshling has more spirit than you gave it credit for."
Shockwave disregarded her taunting for now. "If you possess any data that could aid my investigation, speak. Else your presence here serves no purpose." His patience for games was nonexistent. She lets out a huff as she turns away. "Last I saw them Starscream was rambling about discarding the little pest, I would much rather have added them to my collection, but no use once they are squished" she replies amusement flicking in her optics. It makes Shockwave's spark go cold at the thought.
Starscream, interfering in his work yet again... but to harm the human? It made no sense. "Elaborate. What precisely did Starscream say?" Starscream's actions often lacked reason, but there had to be a thread of logic here. The thought of harm coming to his research subject was. displeasing.
His optic narrowed on Arachnid, another smile graced her lips. "If my memory serves correctly, starscream stepped on them when he was in your laboratory last, and decided it was easier to discard them before they made a mess with all their bloo " she teases. She was going to see just how far Shockwave was willing to go for the little flesh bag.
Something akin to anger flashed through Shockwave's circuits at Arachnid's vague 'memory' and obvious game. Starscream would pay dearly for damaging laboratory property and disrupting critical research. His optic burned into hers. "Show me. Now."
Starscream looks up from his data pad when the sound of Shockwave's shadow forms over him. Arachnid gives him a little wave before stalking off, leaving Shockwave with him. "What can I do for you, Shockwave, as you can see I am rather busy" he states, wings flickering in annoyance at being interrupted.
"You will explain the human's current status and your role in their disappearance, Starscream," he stated calmly. Too calmly, given the swirling calculations within his processor. "Arachnid insinuated you were involved with deactivating them."
Starscream shifted uneasily under that baleful optical lens. “How dare you accuse me!” he snarls as his optics glare at the scientist. Shockwave cut him off. "The human. Where is it? I will have answers, one way or another. Do not test me further, Starscream."
"You babbling Moron I haven't been anywhere near your Lab nor near that disgusting little creature you adore!I'm Sure Arachnid would just love to add them to her collection of prizes and is using this time to hunt them" Starscream snarls out wings flickering even more as Shockwave threatens him.
The moment those words leave Starscream, Shockwave turned on a heel strut and departed, optic aglow with sheer anger. When Shockwave stalks back into his laboratory Arachnid isn't paying attention as she looks through the vents eager to try and find the human before Shockwave's return.A faint whirring was Shockwave's only warning before his blaster cannon trained directly on Arachnid's backstrut. "Cease your prowling immediately, My companion is off limits as is instructed by Lord Megatron" he commanded, weapon charged and ready.
She froze at the sound of his calm yet irrefutable voice. “Such a shame, yet you still have found your precious little pet, perhaps they have finally abandoned you” she sneers back at him. His optic narrowed to a slit. He took a measured step forward. "The human. Where have you hidden or disposed of them, Arachnid?" A hiss escaped her in mingled frustration and wary respect. Lying to Shockwave was never wise. Slowly, delicately, she extracted herself away from the vent. "I have no idea."
Movement catches Shockwave optics from over on his bench, it makes both Decepticons helms snap to the moment. "What time is it?" the little human asked while rubbing their eyes as they pulled the large cloth around their body. walking out of the unoccupied crate that originally held Shockwave's energon cube rations. Arachnid snarls as she pushes Shockwave off before stalking out of the lab. "What was that about?" They mumble tiredly.
Shockwave's cannon whirred down as he took in the dishevelled yet apparently unharmed human, "It is roughly mid-cycle," he replied calmly, his servo moving across their frame taking in their appearance making sure they are not injured. all traces of anger leave his processes.
"You appear undamaged. How did you get to be within the energon container? Arachnid led me to believe you'd been.harmed." he questioned, Relief pulsed through his lines, though he showed no outward emotion.
"I fell asleep in there last night while you were working, sorry I didn't mean to cause any issues" they state as he lifts them up. Shockwave processed this new information and he cursed himself for not checking the crate. "You have nothing for which to apologise for " he replied calmly, holding the human against his chassis. “I ask that you alert me as to your wear about before recharge for your own safety” he states before setting down with them in his servos.
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Hi!
As some of you might know, southern Brazil, specifically the state of Rio Grande do Sul, has been struck by heavy rains and a consequential flood. The rains started on monday (29/abr) and only stopped today (5/mai), in Porto Alegre ─ the state capital, and the city i live in ─ and in the other cities nearby.
The lake that borders PoA (named Guaíba) has reached more than 5m up its normal level. This is higher than on the historic 1941 flood. The city's center ─ a big residential and commercial hub, beyond being the host of most of our public services (such as the city hall and the state government) ─ is completely taken by the water. Many other neighbourhoods were also affected.
Smaller cities that also border Guaíba were even more heavily affected, such as Eldorado do Sul, whose territory was almost 100% flooded.
The state is, for a lack of a better word, abandoned by the people that were supposed to aid.
Our governor, Eduardo Leite, is more worried about his plitical campaign ─ making dramatic videos, changing his facebook pfp to one of him with a public defense vest, making streams with no useful information ─ than with the people's lives. This year, he destinated only R$50.000 (~ USD250.000) for the Civil Defense. For the entire year. He is now, delegating the responsibility of recuperating our state to the Federal Government, stating that "the rbuilding of the RS will demand a Marshall Project".
Porto Alegre's mayor, Sebastião Mello, has vanished. He sold our city out to big enterprises ─ Melnick, Zaffari and Panvel, mainly ─, and hasn't destined any public resources to maintaining the Mauá wall (a wall built after the 1941 flood with a system made to protect the city from other floods), which caused many points to fail and the water to invade the city.
This is the danger we all face with a neoliberal system.
Neoliberalism is an individualist ideology. All these people and companies I named did close to nothing to help us. Or even made it worse. The Civil Defense, for example, published a map of all the areas that would be affected, but had to take it back, since it didn't consider the topography.
Its the people for the people.
This situation is being aided by people using their own resources. Donations of various natures and volunteer work. It is very beautiful, in a way. It shows that colaboration and union can do great things. It shows, at least to me, that the world can reach, one day, a self sustaining way of living, contrary to the ultra-individualistic capitalism some preach. Humans can, and are, good.
But it also lays out how much the people that govern us failed us.
Human lives were lost because of their negligency.
This flood isn't normal. It is a product of the huge levels of degradation multi-billionaire companies are causing the world, supported by higher class and their representatives. Eduardo Leite changed almost 500 points of our state's Environmental Code, for the worst, when he was first elected in 2019. His actions, and the actions of all other neoliberal politicians, such as our ex-president Bolsonaro, are what created this situation. They are responsible for everything that is going on here.
This flood isnt the only environmental crisis this state has faced in the last 6 months. This isn't the last one that will happen.
This text is, beyond a personal vent, a warning. We need to keep fighting against a system that is actively trying to kill us. Please, do not support ideals and people ─ especially if said people will rule you ─ that go against the environment, that preach that the capital, the money, the posesions, are more important than lives. Of the people, of the animals, of the environment. Fight for a better world, i know there can be one.
Always be aware of the climate in your areas. Things like this won't happen only here. Please be safe.
Sorry for the long post.
If you're interested in donating, @decaf-lesbian made this post with some links for international and national donations.
-> If you're from Brasil, check this link, that has a copilation of maps of risk areas, shelters, places to donate to, etc, made by a UFRGS student.
#rio grande do sul#brasil#enchentes#i dont know how to tag this#im sorry#if theres any typos im also sorry i wrote this in one siting i dont usually do that since i like to reread and double check
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HEYYEYHEY CAN I REQUEST LLOYD (ninjago) HEADCANONS PLEASEEEE (ty :3)
A/N: Ofc!I'll do general character ones, as well as x reader ones :) hope ye likey likey:pp
Lloyd, The Greenest and Geekest mf.
General character headcanons:
Half Japanese half Chinese
His hair is box blonde dye and you cannot change my mind.
Left handed
Severely dyslexic and hands off all scroll reading and just reading oriented tasks to kai.
Def gen z vibes. Like, the others give off more inbetween z and millenial, so they dont always get his humor. And sometimes he uses that to his advantage and "Speaks in code" (uses as much slang as possible)
Has LED lights in his room set to forest green.
Has given himself a smiley face tattoo.
Cried over a dead goose once.
OK, just to preface i see cole as a stoner of Sorts and uses the excuse "it gets me closer to my element"
With that in mind cole let lloyd try it and now sometimes when he is told to unwind, of feels like he needs to take a chill pill he and Cole spark up
in the beginning of his leader ship role, he used to Say;"kick ass and take names" and if things went wrong he had the fuck it we ball mindset, but got better with time. There are still times they wing it, though.
if he isnt in his gi he almost exclusively wears his pajamas (aka a Hoodie, tshirt and sweats)
Vv tired, and now has a raging addiction to energy drinks due to his lack of Sleep.
He used to eat worms as a kid bc he Thought he it was evil.
Has a eyebrow piercing, and wants a tongue piercing.
Wears "reading" glasses, that he should technically wear all the time because he can't see up close and has a astigmatism,, but he says yolo. Zane then make him contacts after he almost ran into a moving blade and got his head severed.
Adhd and OCD, as well as the normal line up (anxiety, depression, cptsd)
Lloyd in a relationship:
Hes very distant in the beginning, it'll take time to warm up to you.
He tends to be orage cat vibes.
On the cat trend, he gets close for a bit Before becoming distant. Going through waves of affection, kinda.
He hasn't had like, any good relationships in his life so he tries to "protect" himself when he feels he gets to close to you, and so he pulls away.
He does the fuckboy face when your sad bc it makes you laugh, as well as That weird dice roll
He actually does the face/dice roll combo whenever he Sees you as he walks over, it's an inside joke now
primary giving love language: acts of service and quality time
Primary receiving love language: gifts and words of affirmation. But physical touch is also high up there.
Also, not expensive gifts. He hates those. Give him a stick you saw on a walk that made you think of him. He'll cherish it forever. And maybe cry.
He will cry.
will make noises at you and expects a noise in response or he'll be sad.
Also randomly bites you. He's a nommer
also sends you memes throughout the day.
As well as random pictures with the caption;"BABY LOK THIS IS S. US IF WE WHERE *insert whatever item here*
Called you babe, baby, love, shitface, asshole.
Expect kind and loving gentle bullying.
Doesnt know how to express his emotions to just expect him to come up to you, lightly shake your shoulders and aggressively say;"I love you bitch.i ain't Evea gon stop lovin you. Bitchhhhhhh" (vine reference)
Sends you .5 of everyone, himself included. He's addicted to Taking them. You will not get out of it.
Also sometimes just walks around in nyas stilettos for fun.
You two have fashion shows.
You also take over the Living room sometimes and build giant ass forts to watch shitty reality tv in and make fun oF The people
Overall, once he realizes you won't leave he's the most funniest loving chaotic guy.
But expect it to take a hot minute for him to realsie this
give him time,, but also have some deep talks..
Let him vent
and for the love of God don't hurt the baby's heart.
Expect inside jokes
#no beta we die like jason todd#greeny's inbox#Ninjago x reader#lloyd garmadon#lloyd montgomery garmadon#lego ninjago#Lloyd garmadon x reader#Ninjago x you#Male reader#gn reader#ninjago lloyd
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Hate you - chapter 2 - J.JK
Pairings : ex! Jungkook x ex! Reader
Notes : didn't get to do my word goal again:(( omg it's hard writing long chapters. thank you all so much for reading this story!!! please play mr perfectly fine by taylor for thiss
Genre : Ex2L, angst, slow burn, fake dating, slice of life, fluff, e2l, corporate rivals, smau, smut
Sypnosis : ‘You were always told that hating someone is the only way it doesn’t hurt but what if you can’t hate him? No matter how hard you try your heart will always find it’s way to his’
2 years after breaking up with your boyfriend of 2 years you were finally on your way to become the ceo of your family’s company your rival turns out to be your ex.
Contents/warnings :
Misunderstood break up, insecurities, mentions of self harms or mental health issues, jk is mean at the start, yelling, sensitive language or words, mentions of family trauma, corporate au, smart (both), mentions of yoongi x oc, mentions of cheating, soon to be ceo! Jk, soon to be ceo! Oc, oc is still named Y/n or {__}, corporate rivals?, fake dating, lack of communication, death of a character, mentions of suicide attempt. not proofread
NSFW contents : a peck?
series masterlist
Need a break and a change
Seven months. It had been seven months without Jungkook, and for the first time in what felt like forever, you could say with a degree of confidence that you were starting to move on. Or so you thought. The days no longer felt as heavy, and the nights didn’t drag on as painfully as before. You’d started therapy, and although at first, you were skeptical, it seemed to help—at least, it gave you something to look forward to, even if most of your sessions felt like venting to a paid story listener.
What did you talk about? Everything. The breakup, the pain, the endless nights replaying memories of him. The therapist always tried to reassure you, reminding you that there were plenty of other guys out there, which you were very much aware of. But no matter how many times you heard it, it didn’t make the ache go away. You told yourself that Jungkook probably moved on by now.
Maybe he was with someone else,
someone new,
someone better.
Maybe he never loved you,
maybe you were just another chapter in his story.
Or maybe he did love you but didn’t know how to show it the right way.
Regardless, deep down, you knew one thing for certain: if Jungkook texted you right now, asking for a second chance, you wouldn’t hesitate. You’d go running back to him, even if you told yourself you wouldn’t. Even if you wanted to believe you were stronger than that.
It wasn’t easy admitting this to yourself, but you were trying. Every day, you made an effort to rebuild your life piece by piece. Namjoon and Sana, your constants, had been encouraging you for weeks to step outside your comfort zone. They’d been incredibly patient with you, but tonight, they weren’t taking no for an answer.
“Come on, Y/N,” Namjoon urged over the phone. His voice carried a mix of persuasion and excitement. “You’ve been hiding away for too long. Let’s just go out, have some fun, and forget about everything for a while.”
Sana chimed in from the background, her voice equally determined. “We’re not taking no for an answer! You need this. Trust us.”
After a long pause, you finally sighed in defeat. “Fine,” you said, your voice laced with mock reluctance. “I’ll go.”
Namjoon let out a triumphant cheer. “That’s the spirit! We’ll pick you up at eight.”
You glanced at your reflection in the mirror, contemplating your decision. Maybe this could be good for you. Maybe you’d find someone new, someone who could make you forget about the lingering ghost of Jungkook. You knew it was a long shot, but you were willing to try.
at the club
“Babesss! You. Are. Sooooooo. Hot!!!” Sana practically screamed over the music, her eyes wide with admiration. She gave you a playful smack on the arm, her excitement infectious.
Namjoon, ever the protective one, gave you a once-over with a raised brow. “Don’t you think the dress is a little… over-revealing?” he asked, voice tinged with concern.
You smirked, ready to tease him. “Oh, quit being a dad, Namjoon. Unless…” you paused dramatically, leaning in with a mischievous glint in your eye. “Unless you’ve got a daddy kink?”
Namjoon’s face turned bright red almost instantly. “I DO NOT!” he fired back, his voice cracking slightly.
Sana, ever the chaos queen, burst out laughing. “Ohhh, Namdaddyyyy!” she joined in, dragging out the word and winking at him. Namjoon groaned, hiding his face in his hands as his ears burned.
“Alright, alright,” you said between laughs, deciding to give him a break. “I’ll get us some drinks. Try not to corrupt Namjoon too much while I’m gone.”
Sana gave you a mock salute. “No promises!” she shouted as you made your way to the bar.
“Uh… a vodka tonic, please,” you said, pausing for a moment to glance back toward your friends. “And a gin and tonic, plus a whiskey sour,” you added. The bartender nodded, swiftly preparing your order.
As you waited, a presence sidled up beside you—a man, tall and composed, dressed in a tailored suit that screamed sophistication. His dark hair was neatly styled, and a pair of sleek glasses rested on his nose. He looked older, but not in a way that felt unapproachable. No, he was HOT old. The kind of man who exuded confidence and charm effortlessly.
“Can I buy you a drink?” His voice was smooth, with a hint of playfulness.
You blinked, taken slightly off guard. Pointing to yourself, you asked, “Uh, me? You talking to me?”
He chuckled softly, a gummy smile breaking across his face. “Yes, you, silly,” he replied, his tone light and teasing.
You felt a slight warmth rise to your cheeks, but you managed to keep your composure. “Oh, sure. Of course,” you said, flashing him a small smile.
“What’s your name?” he asked, tilting his head slightly, his curiosity evident.
“Oh, um… Y/N. Kim Y/N,” you replied, your smile widening just a bit as you introduced yourself.
His eyes lit up with recognition. “Kim Y/N, as in the Kims?” he asked, his voice carrying a hint of intrigue.
You tilted your head in confusion, not entirely sure what he was getting at. “Uh… what do you mean?”
“RNT Inc.?” he clarified, his expression softening into a knowing smile. “Rhythm and Tune Incorporation. Your family’s company, right?”
Your posture straightened slightly, the familiar pang of recognition hitting you. “Oh… yeah. ” you said, your hand coming up to scratch the back of your neck in an awkward gesture.
“Impressive,” he said, his tone genuinely appreciative. “Cool. I’m Min Yoongi,” he added, extending a hand.
The name rang a faint bell in your mind, but it wasn’t until he added, “COO of Min Entertainment,” that everything clicked.
“Ohhh,” you said, your voice lilting with interest. “That’s cool.” You took his hand, shaking it firmly but warmly, offering him a genuine smile. “Nice to meet you.”
He returned the smile, his gaze steady and unwavering. “Likewise. So,” he began, leaning just a bit closer, “can I get your number? Maybe we could be friends... ”
The offer caught you slightly off guard, but you found yourself nodding. “Sure,” you said, glancing down, realizing you didn’t have your phone on you. “Oh, wait—sorry. I don’t have my phone right now,” you admitted with a small laugh.
He chuckled, unbothered. “No problem.” Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his own phone and handed it to you.
You took it, fingers hovering over the screen for a moment before you keyed in your number. “There,” you said, handing it back to him.
Yoongi nodded, pocketing his phone. “You got it. I’ll reach out soon.”
You offered a small wave. “Alright, see you around, maybe?”
“Definitely,” he replied, his smile lingering as he turned back toward the crowd.
You grabbed the drinks, balancing them carefully as you made your way back to your table. Sana and Namjoon were deep in conversation, but their heads snapped up when they saw you approaching.
“Finally!” Sana exclaimed, her eyes lighting up. “What took you so long?”
“Sorry,” you said, placing the drinks on the table. “Met someone at the bar.”
Namjoon raised an eyebrow. “Met someone?”
You smirked, sliding into your seat. “Yeah. Min Yoongi. You know him?”
Sana nearly spat out her drink. “Min Yoongi? As in MCI Entertainment Min Yoongi?”
“Yep,” you said, sipping your drink casually. “He’s.... cool.”
Namjoon exchanged a look with Sana. “Cool? he's one of the hottest executives of that company girl.”
You shrugged, trying to play it off. “He just asked for my number.”
Sana gasped, grabbing your arm. “And you gave it to him, right?”
“Obviously.”
It had been a year since Jungkook. One long year of piecing yourself back together, learning to stand on your own again. Therapy sessions had helped, though you often questioned their worth. For what? For these paid story listeners to remind you there are still plenty of men out there? As if you didn’t already know. Still, despite the frustration, you knew healing wasn’t linear.
And then there was Yoongi.
You’d met him seven months ago—an unexpected encounter that had slowly turned into something... comforting. Yoongi was patient, understanding, and most importantly, he wasn’t rushing you into anything. He knew your heart wasn’t ready, and he respected that.
So when he called one day, asking for a favor, you weren’t entirely surprised.
"Hey," Yoongi's voice was soft but laced with urgency. "I know this is sudden, but would you consider being my date to the gala tomorrow? My usual partner bailed."
A long pause filled the line as you considered. You hadn’t been to any high-profile event since before Jungkook, and the thought of stepping back into that world felt overwhelming. But the sincerity in Yoongi’s voice gave you courage.
"Are you sure?" you asked, voice laced with hesitation. "I don’t want to cramp your style."
"I’m positive," Yoongi assured, his tone warm. "You’ll be great. And honestly, I’d feel more comfortable with you there."
You sighed, a small smile creeping onto your lips. "Alright. It’s been a while since I’ve attended a gala, but why not?"
"Perfect," he said, relief evident. "I’ll send over some dress options tonight. Thank you, Y/N."
The call ended, and you felt a mixture of excitement and nerves.
Before the Gala
As promised, Yoongi called, his deep voice filling the quiet of your apartment. "I’m on my way. I’ll pick you up in a few."
You quickly hummed in response, glancing at your reflection one last time. Your stylist had done an incredible job—your makeup was flawless, and your hair fell in soft waves.
"Alright, Ms. Y/N, you're all set," your stylist said with a proud smile. Just as she finished, a knock came at the door.
"Ms. Y/N, your date is waiting in the lounge," the assistant informed you.
Taking a deep breath, you thanked your stylist and made your way out. As you entered the lounge, your eyes immediately found Yoongi. He stood there in a perfectly tailored black suit, adjusting his cufflinks. His dark hair was styled neatly, and the moment he saw you, his eyes softened.
"Wow," he breathed out, his gaze trailing over you.
"What?" you asked with a small laugh, feeling your cheeks heat.
He stepped closer, offering you his hand. "I’m so lucky to have you by my side tonight."
Your heart fluttered at his words. You placed your hand in his, and he gave it a gentle squeeze. "Shall we?" he asked.
"Of course," you replied, letting him lead you out.
At the Gala
The night had barely started, but you were already reminded why you had avoided events like this for so long.
As soon as you and Yoongi stepped out of the sleek black car, camera flashes erupted around you like a relentless storm. Paparazzi swarmed, their voices loud and persistent.
"Yoongi, is she your girlfriend?" "Ms. Kim, how do you feel about breaking up with Jeon Jungkook?" "Is this the start of a new power couple?" "Are you two together?"
The barrage of questions felt suffocating. You clutched Yoongi’s arm tighter, grateful for his calm demeanor as he guided you inside. He didn’t respond to the questions, instead keeping his focus on you, shielding you from the chaos.
Once inside, the lavish setting did little to ease your nerves. The grand ballroom was filled with influential figures, CEOs, artists, and politicians. You and Yoongi found your seats at a table among other high-profile individuals. The conversation flowed easily, but your mind wandered as you sipped your martini.
Your eyes caught on a figure across the room. A tall, broad-shouldered man with familiar brown hair. His back was to you, but you knew that stance anywhere.
Jungkook.
He turned slightly, his hand intertwined with a woman’s. His signature smile, the one you once knew so well, was directed at her. They seemed happy, lost in their own world.
Your heart clenched involuntarily.
Before he could notice you, you leaned closer to Yoongi and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. He froze for a moment, eyes widening slightly, then turned to you with a flustered smile.
"Are you alright, pretty?" Yoongi asked, his voice gentle but concerned.
You glanced back across the room. Jungkook was gone. You exhaled, trying to steady your breathing. "Mhmm," you murmured. "Just... tipsy, that’s all."
Yoongi didn’t look convinced. "Wanna head back?" he offered, leaning closer.
"We just got here, Yoonzz," you whined lightly, managing a small smile.
He chuckled, brushing a strand of hair from your face. "Alright. But if you want to go home at any point, just say the word, okay?"
You nodded, grateful for his patience. "I will. Promise."
Still, the question lingered in your mind: Who was she?
You didn’t think Yoongi would stay. Not after everything you’d been through, after all the baggage you carried with you. Yet, here he was—a constant presence in your life, steady and unwavering. A year had passed with him by your side, and while the wounds Jungkook left behind hadn’t fully healed, Yoongi had somehow made the pain more bearable.
You told yourself you liked Yoongi. It wasn’t hard to do; he was thoughtful, kind, and endlessly patient. He had seen you at your lowest and never once flinched. He took you to therapy sessions when you couldn’t face them alone, drove you to Jeju Island for peaceful getaways, and showed you places you love.
But deep down, you knew the truth. If someone were to ask, Do you still love Jungkook? the answer would come without hesitation. Yes. No matter how much time passed, no matter how much you tried to convince yourself otherwise, a part of your heart still belonged to him.
And yet, Yoongi was different. He was like an angel, falling into your life at a time when you thought you didn’t deserve someone like him. His love wasn’t loud or overwhelming; it was quiet, tender, and constant, like a soft breeze on a summer day. He didn’t try to replace Jungkook; he simply stayed, filling the empty spaces with his warmth.
Sometimes, when you looked at him, you wondered what he saw in you. Why he chose to stay when he could’ve easily walked away. But Yoongi never asked for more than you could give. He understood your hesitation, your lingering feelings, and still, he chose you.
And for that, you were grateful. you were always grateful
It was an unusually quiet morning when your mom called you. Her voice was calm, but there was a weight to it, a seriousness that immediately made your stomach twist. “Y/N, we’re having a family meeting later today. Please don’t be late,” she said, then hung up before you could ask any questions.
When you arrived at the family estate, the large, ornate doors of the meeting room loomed before you. This room had witnessed countless important decisions over the years, and now it was your turn to step inside. As you pushed open the heavy doors, you were greeted by the sight of your family seated around the grand oak table. Your mom was at the head, her presence commanding as always.
Your cousins were there, whispering amongst themselves, their sharp features and expensive suits a reminder of the high expectations within your family. there was Jin, your cousin, sitting calmly, his hands clasped on the table.
You took a seat, trying to ignore the growing anxiety clawing at your chest.
Once everyone had settled, Jennie, your sister, stood up. Her poise and elegance were undeniable; she was the embodiment of what everyone expected in the next CEO. The company had been preparing her for this role for years. So, what she said next completely blindsided you.
“Y/N, everyone,” Jennie began, her tone even but resolute. “I’ve decided to step down from becoming the CEO of our family company.”
The room fell silent. You could hear the faint ticking of the antique clock on the wall. You blinked, sure you’d misheard. “What?” you managed to say, your voice barely above a whisper.
Your eyes widened, heart skipping a beat. “What are you talking about?” you blurted out, not even bothering to hide your shock. Jennie was the golden child of the family, groomed for this role since the day she could walk.
Jennie leaned back in her chair, a calm but determined expression on her face. “I’ve thought long and hard about this,” she said. “I realized I didn't want it anymore. I want to be a model and start my own company without needing moms or dads help. I'm done handling all the pressure. It's better off with it being you, y/n”
The words hit you like a freight train. “Jennie, I—” You stumbled over your words, your mind racing. “I don’t know… I don’t think I can do it.”
Your mom, seated at the head of the table, leaned forward, her eyes filled with warmth and understanding. “Honey, it’s for the best,” she said softly, her voice laced with encouragement. “You’re capable, and we all believe in you.”
You glanced over at Jin, hoping for some kind of lifeline. He was always the voice of reason, the one who could find a way out of any situation. “Jin…” you whispered, your voice barely audible.
“Y/N, everyone would kill for that position” he said. “ you shouldn't waste an opportunity that big”
“But Jin, I majored in literature,” you protested, your voice cracking. “I don’t know anything about running a company. I’ll fail, and I’ll bring the whole company down with me.”
Your mom reached out, taking your hand in hers. “You won’t fail, sweetheart. You have a natural talent for leadership, and with the right guidance, you’ll thrive,” she said. “How about this? I’ll personally mentor you. We’ll set up a comprehensive training program, and by the end of the year... december, you can decide whether or not this is the path you want to take.”
You hesitated, the weight of her words settling over you. Could you really do this? Could you step into a role that had seemed so far removed from your reality, from your dreams? But then you thought about your family, about the legacy they’d built and the trust they were placing in you.
“Alright,” you finally said, your voice steady but your heart pounding. “I’ll give it a try.”
The room erupted in supportive smiles and nods. Your mom squeezed your hand, and Jin gave you an approving nod. Even Jennie looked relieved, as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.
“Good,” your mom said, her voice filled with pride. “We’ll start your training tomorrow.”
"I can't believe this," you muttered under your breath, rolling your eyes in annoyance. You felt suffocated by the weight of it all
You walked out of the meeting room, your mind a mix of confusion, anger, and frustration. Everything had been thrown at you all at once, and now you were expected to just take it and be okay with it.
As you walked down the hallway, hoping to get a moment of peace, you were met with jin, your cousin.
He was leaning casually against the wall, his arms crossed, looking like he had all the time in the world. "You know, this position was my dream," he said, scoffing as he eyed you. "But look at me now. I’m just a CMO," he added, chuckling bitterly.
You stopped in your tracks, an eyebrow raised. "What are you trying to say, Jin?" you asked, already sensing the underlying tone in his words.
He gave you a knowing look. "Everyone would die for the position you were offered, Y/N," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "But here you are, acting like it's some huge burden. You're being handed the keys to the kingdom, and you're just going to throw it away."
You couldn’t help but feel your frustration rise. "I don’t want this, Seokjin. You think I can just take over and magically become CEO? I’m a writer! I know how to make books, not run a multimillion-dollar company!" you fired back, your voice steady but sharp.
Jin rolled his eyes at your response. "You always have an excuse. You’re just making it harder for yourself." He scoffed again, his tone dismissive. "Can you stop being the shadow of the family for once? It’s honestly embarrassing. Everyone is waiting for you to step up, but you keep hiding behind your little books and stories."
His words hit you harder than you expected, and for a brief moment, your heart tightened. "I don’t want to ruin the family’s reputation," you said, your voice faltering for just a moment. "I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to run a company. What if I mess up? What if I fail and get everything bankrupt?"
Jin's expression hardened, and his voice turned cold. "That’s why Auntie is giving you training, right?" he said with a sneer. "But let’s be real. You’re just delaying the inevitable. You’re not cut out for this. Maybe that’s why Jungkook dumped you," he added, his words slicing through the air. "He knew you didn’t value the wealth and power you were given."
You froze, your mind momentarily going blank. The words stung more than you cared to admit. "What?" Your voice was quiet, but there was a dangerous edge to it.
Jin shrugged, walking past you with a smirk on his face. "You heard me," he muttered under his breath as his shoulder brushed against yours.
The anger inside you flared up, but you couldn’t find the words to express it. You stood there, staring after him, your heart pounding in your chest. The weight of his words seemed to settle into your bones, and for the first time in a long time, you felt small.
It wasn’t about the company, or the position, or even your family’s expectations. It was about the things you’d never said out loud—the guilt, the fear, the uncertainty. Was he right? Were you failing the family, failing yourself? Were you not cut out for any of this?
You stood there for a moment longer, the sound of Jin’s footsteps fading away as the hallway grew eerily silent. All you wanted to do was scream, but instead, you stood still, a single tear slipping down your cheek, before quickly wiping it away.
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#rispwr#bts#jungkook ff#bts x reader#jungkook#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#yoongi#jungkook x you#jungkook fic#jeon jungkook x reader#jungkook fanfic#yoongi x reader#jungkook smut#min yoongi#bangtan#suga#yoongi fluff#bts suga#suga bts#yoongi x y/n#yoongi x oc#yoongi x you#fic : hate you
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Memories of Us
Characters: Kim Chaehyun, Yu Jimin (Karina)
Tags: friends with benefits, sensual, lesbian sex, titty play, pussy play, somewhat fluff
Words: 1869 words
Author's Note: Hiiiiii terra here! Tbh I'm really excited for this work especially if it blows out. I think the dynamic between Chaehyun and Karina would work so well together especially since surprise surprise CHAEHYUN WAS FROM FUCKING SM! I think we can lead this to adding another idol which I'm pretty sure we all know who if it's Yu Jimin, right? In any case, I'll do my best to this work and if I think it's good enough, I'll try to do continue it more as a series. Enjoy <33!
"With MY world in the back, WORLD in the back YEAH!" As the song slowly ended, Chaehyun hurries towards Karina, wrapping her arms around her hips as Karina looks at her with a soft smile, patting her head before looking at the camera, waving to end the TikTok challenge for Drama. "Alright, thank you so much for your hard work, girls." The cameraman showed a thumbs up as the crew clapped their hands for their hard work, starting to pack up their tools and get going for the next video production. "Uwaaah~ unnie you did so well~" Chaehyun's eyes sparkles as she looks up to Karina, clearly enthusiastic of meeting her old friend back when she was an SM trainee. "Awww Chaehyun knock it off with the formals~! Jimin is good enough and you know that, right?" Karina giggled, seeing the bubbly Chaehyun in front of her, rolling back their trainee days. The times where Chaehyun had to endure a lot of criticisms for her lack of dancing and her body shape, Karina has always been there to support and comfort her, often giving her encouragement to do better too. Such precious memories for the Kep1er vocalist even though it was short due to SM terminating her contract.
After a little small talk, Karina invited Chaehyun to relax at aespa's waiting room. The girls are out to buy coffee at the barista downstairs, so it'll be just the two of them for the time being. As they both lounged on the couch, Chaehyun leaned down to Karina's shoulders, sighing. "I missed you, Jiminnie." Her tone started to sound like a vent. Karina, who is still clueless about the situation, only patted her head, smiling while still scrolling through her Instagram feed. "Awww, but I'm here now, right? Hahah c'mon Chae~ cheer up a bit." Karina playfully caressed Chaehyun's cheeks, pinching and pulling it while giggling as the ex-SM trainee pouted. "I'm being serious here Jimiiin~" She scowled and threw a little tantrum, which only fueled Karina's laughter more, seeing Chaehyun's adorable face blush red from anger and embarrassment. She has to admit, she did miss teasing Chaehyun, although she does have Winter as her victim now.
Despite Chaehyun's adorable growls of frustration, Karina still didn't take her seriously. Her hands are still fixated on Chaehyun round puffy face, squishing her cheeks and pinching them occasionally. It was at that point Chaehyun lost it, grabbing her unnie's hands and pushing them away and now hugging her tight, almost like she's trying to squeeze her body. "Unniieeeee! I'm being serious here!" Her red flushed face faced to the cushions of the couch. Blushing from her out of character behaviour, she can't even move a muscle, still flustered from her actions towards her unnie that she looks up to so much. Karina could only bite her lips, trying not to burst out and laugh. After taking a long, deep breath, Karina sighed, and slowly tapped her old colleague's scalp, scratching it a bit as if she's doing one of her ASMR lives, trying to comfort the shy Chaehyun. "Alright Chae Chae, what is it? I'll take you seriously this time~" She smiled as soon as Chaehyun's face lifts up, pouting as her large round eyes shined back too Karina's. "I missed you, Jiminnie."
Karina only sighed as she smiled, looking art her old friend being as clingy and adorable as she remembers, the same Kim Chaehyun she spends her time with for years together in the SM building. She can see the attachment Chaehyun had with her, and it melted her heart. "I missed you too, Chaehyun." Karina ruffled Chaehyun's hair, before her hand guided the main vocalist up, making their faces level. Karina slowly lifted up Chaehyun's bangs, giving her a kiss on the forehead. "I'm here for you Chae~" a soft whisper echoed into Chaehyun's ear, giving her goosebumps, both from the cringeyness of Karina's words but also the nostalgia. The feeling when she always had Karina by her side, caring and supporting her every step of the way. After the kiss Karina gave on her forehead, Chaehyun looked as if she spaced out, lost in thought. "Chae...?" Karina snapped her fingers, trying to gain her consciousness again. She eventually did, but not a word was let out of her mouth. Instead a kiss on the cheeks, her mouth charging to Karina's.
"Mh~!" Karina was flustered, but also not really surprised by the sudden reaction by Chaehyun. She's always been a clingy little baby to her and she guesses that little clinginess never faded away from Chaehyun's nature. Instead of pushing her away, Karina embraced her, tucking Chaehyun's long wavy hair behind her ears as Karina softly caressed the back of her scalp. The kiss lasted for about 30 seconds before Karina broke the two pairs of lips' moment of connection, leaving the two in a state of silence. Chaehyun was blushing, red as a tomato and Karina was just trying to process the whole situation, not knowing what to do. "J-Jiminnie~ I want m-more, please~!" With her face facing the couch, Chaehyun's plead for satisfaction was said aloud, finally admitting to her desires.
Karina could never say no to those cute puppy eyes of Chaehyun. All she could do is please Chaehyun's undying desire for her. Her former colleague in SM, both now in seperate ways, but their lips never this close in their lives. Karina pinning the Kep1er member to the wall and kissing her pretty mouth, occasionally sucking on Chaehyun's tongue which made her whimper, melting in Karina's arms. "Fuuuuck~ Jiminnie~" Chaehyun was just a mess at that point, having her mouth dominated by her old friend back in SM, her whimpers and words weren't even fully audible due to her lips being locked my Karina's. The aespa leader takes charge, tiptoeing her fingers slowly towards Chaehyun's crotch, touching the wet spot on her safety shorts. "You've been enjoying a lot haven't you, Chae?" Chaehyun couldn't do a thing but pout and nod to Karina's question.
The excited Yu Jimin giggled, seeing how adorable Chaehyun is behaving, making the sexual tension in the room sky rocket. Karina guided Chaehyun to lean back to her seat, letting her more access to take the lead. Karina gently removes Chaehyun's top, not completely off, just enough to see her bare tits out. They both know that the staff could crash in the room any moment and it's gonna be one hell of an explanation to get them off this situation. "You're so hard here too Chaehyunnie~" Karina looked at her friend's volumed breasts, her nipples getting hard and stiff from the stimulation and the cool-airconditioned room. Chaehyun let out a soft moan before she managed to answer as Karina's mouth takes in her left nipple, sucking on it gently. "Jiminnie~ wait...nghhh-" Chaehyun bit her lips, containing her moans from escaping, she doesn't want the staff to catch them like this. Or even worse, the rest of the aespa members seeing them like this.
Karina continues her pursuit, now her hands roaming towards Chaehyun's inner thighs, hiking up her skirt. "Let me please you down there too, Chaehyun" she whispered, sending shivers down Chaehyun's spine. Chaehyun could feel Karina's hand moving closer to cunt, slowly touching her pussy covered in the white cloth of her panties, dribbles of precum painting on her underwear painting the situation, Chaehyun an absolute mess for Karina. She took charge of the situation by starting to rub her fingers gently on Chaehyun's panties, all whilst her mouth kept on sucking on her old friend's round boob, sucking with Karina's eyes sparkling at Chaehyun's. "Jiminnie, it feels so fucking good~" Chaehyun's moans finally made some human words out. It was words of encouragement for Karina to do more, and more did she do. Karina's hand slide Chaehyun's panties to the side, revealing her pink temple, where Karina starts to slide her index and middle finger inside Chaehyun's pussy. The stimulation made her scream out a moan, Chaehyun starting to lose her cool and turns into a moaning mess, enjoying her old friend's gentle fingers, digging in her cunt which made her twitch and shiver. "Jiminnie~, I'm gonna cum~" Chaehyun cries, putting a smirk on Karina's face. "Cum for me then, Chae. I want you to lots of pleasure~" "oh god, Jiminnie, I'm cummiiiiing!" Karina's words was more than enough to make her cum, releasing out her pleasures and coats Karina's two fingers.
The after effects of Karina's assault on her pussy, Chaehyun is left panting, reaching for air. "Jiminnie, I wanna make you cum too" her eyes looked straight at Karina's eyes, then tracing down her body. Karina, needing to let it out, is as eager as her old trainee partner is. "I need it to Chae. Make me feel good." She asked, her breathy voice sounded full of lust as she undoes her pants, showing her bare cunt. The room is ever so chilly yet the tension between is too hot to handle. Chaehyun didn't need an instruction to understand the situation; instantly falling to her knees, between Yu Jimin's legs. Chaehyun takes her tongue out, her mouth now on Karina's pussy, starting to lick it while looking up at the aespa leader's eyes.
Karina tilted her head back, feeling the cold tender lips of Chaehyun starting to give the attention she needed, making her moan as her hands hold on her boobs, groping herself as she enjoys the pleasure. "F-fuuuuck, yes Chae~. Just like that, I love your mouth so bad." Once again, Chaehyun is motivated by Karina's words, Chaehyun gets her mouth to work even more, letting her tongue get inside her pussy. Her mouth did a great job in turning on Karina, as she moans louder, getting herself more stimulated, moaning loudly as her hand is on Chaehyun's long hair. "Fuuuck Chaehyun. I can't do this any longer. I-I wanna cum" Chaehyun didn't reply, only a nod from her whilst remaining between Karina's legs as the room is now only filled with Karina's moans. Karina gripped Chaehyun's hair, flexing her thighs as her body shivers, unable to take it any longer. "Chae, I'm cumming I'm cumming I'm cummiiiiing!" Karina grunted, screaming out her moans as she squirts on Chaehyun's adorable round face. Chaehyun whimpered, tasting her lovable Yu Jimin's sweet cum, looking up to her face, covered in cum.
"That was amazing Chae~" Karina smiled, exhaustion is displayed on her face, the same can be same can be said to Chaehyun. Chaehyun got up and to Karina's face she aims, kissing her passionately, sharing the taste of the aespa ace's cum. They enjoy a deep kiss for a moment before their lips depart, smiling at each other. "Let's clean up this mess before anybody sees us like this shall we?" Karina tilted her head, painting a smile on her face to Chaehyun as the Kep1er vocalist replies with a bright smile. "Of course Jiminnie, this is our little secret, right?" She asked, as they both stood up and looked at each other's messy faces. Karina's reply, a giggle and her index finger on her lips, sealing the deal of their sweet little secret.
#kpop smut#kpop nsft#female idol smut#idol x idol#idol x idol story#lesbian nsft#idol x idol smut#aespa smut#kep1er smut
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Pen pal
Geto x fem!reader
College AU
Word count: 12,6K
Summary: After your meme post about your STEM studies is noticed by a kind stranger the two of you start a conversation and become internet friends.
Warnings: cussing, typos, grammar mistakes, probably not accurate for all colleges since I'm using mine as a reference, fluff, angst, slowburn, eventual smut (i'm bad at writing it so sorry)
A/N: wanted to write angsty af, but turned to smut.... enjoy and don't get used to it 😂
You hit send and stretch on your chair, your spine cracks after sitting down and hunching over your laptop for so long. It wasn't the healthiest but once you started writing you couldn't stop. Words in your begged you to let them out into the world. Or rather your final essay.
It took a while but it was finally finished. A week in advance, might you add. With this thing off your hands you could finally relax and concider the first year of your college to be officially over. All finals done and graded, no fails or retakes. And you have three months of doing absolutely nothing before you.
You smiled looking at the mail to the professor, your essay attached and secured.
Wait a minute.
The file you saved and attached has a different name than your final version.
You panic, quickly attach the file titled "final draft" and write: I'm sosorry mr prof i acidentally sentd the wrong file, this is the corr.rect one.
Only after you hit send did you notice all the typos but frankly you didn't care. Even this little embarassment was way better than your little what you deem funny notes written everywhere in your essays. It's like a fun excercise for you, using humor to keep your brain from falling asleep and potentionally hitting a block.
"Calm down heart, everything is okay," you whisper to yourself, "look, the correct version is there. Now you can start a summer break. So please, stop beating so fast."
But your heart knew something you didn't yet and kept rapidly beating. You stared at the new mail. The correct file was right there so why-
You didn't copy the conclusion from the draft to the final file. You checked the final draft just in case and sure enough the three paragraphs you wrote ten minutes ago weren't there.
"How can I be this fucking stupid?!" you cussed at yourself while you were pressing ctrl, c and v keys fixing your mistake.
This time you took deep breaths, wrote gramatically correct apology, attached the correct file (which you opened before you attached it) and finally hit send.
You finally calmed down. Now that you think about it the poor professor of yours will be so confused but amused as well. You chuckled to yourself and already formed a meme in your head.
After couple of minutes it was shining proudly on your laptop screen:
Maybe it was the sleep deprived state you were in or the hilarity of your dumbness but right now you though this was the funniest meme you've ever created. You proudly logged on your tumblr account and posted it.
Your blog was relatively small, only reblogging interesting pictures and almost never making your own original posts. And even those you did make didn't get any recognision so you started treating it as your own personal diary. Venting about stuff that went wrong in your life, making memes either about things happening to you or after your brain once again made a weird connection between two subjects discussed in class. Almost no one but you found them funny, hence the lack of notes under your posts but you stopped caring a long time ago. You found them funny and it was all that mattered.
But now all that matter was you finally getting a good night's sleep with no stress, no alarm waking you up early to study, absolutely nothing.
Being dumb as always you forgot to turn off your usual 7am alarm. Groaning you rached for your phone and with one eye still closed you tried turning it off. Only to notice something unusual. You got a notification. From tumblr. Someone liked your post. And commented too!
All sleepiness left your body as you quickly went into the app on your phone and checked the notes.
⬛ black-swallow commented: damn and here i thought i was the only one making dumb mistakes in college 😂
For your first ever comment it was certainly...something. You didn't know whether to comment back playfully or leave it. But out of pure curiosity you commented back.
@ black-swallow yeah nah, there are more of us. Btw what was the dumbest thing you did?
The reply would probably take a while, if ever, so you started your morning routine: skin care, brush your teeth, hair, etc.
As you sat down with your breakfast you checked the notes and surprisingly your new buddy commented back.
⬛️ black-swallow: i basically did the same thing you did with your essay, but i did it with my application. Had to send it four times...
You almost spit out your water. Four times? Poor fella. Must've been so stressed.
@ black-swallow oh that sounds really stressful. But hey you got in in the end!
⬛️ black-swallow: yeah, and got kicked out too :')
Okay now's the time to stop talking, unless you want to embarass yourself even further. Cringing at yourself you closed the app and turned off your phone. First person you interacted with on that god darn app and you embarass yourself like that. Unbelievable.
After finishing breakfast you had no plans for the day. Other than enjoying your fellow freshmen stress about their finals which you since long passed. You just propped up your legs and relaxed. Until you heard another tumblr notification.
But this time it was a dm.
Sorry to bother you like this but can i ask what does bioarcheology mean? Sounds terrifying.
"Calm down," you said to yourself, "it's just a dm, nothing difficult. Besides this person sounds nice. They don't know you, they can't see you, they can't hurt you."
The years of your parents beating your head with 'don't talk to strangers online' went out the window the moment you replied to the very first person reaching out to you through internet.
Nothing interesting really, i picked that class for extra credit anyways 😅
The reply came in imediately. You and this person must be in the same timezones. How lucky!
Come on, don't be so humble. When i passed my first scary sounding class i was talking about it to everyone willing to listen
Well, what was your scary sounding class then?
Biophysics
Holy 💀 physics alone is hell but mixing it with biology as well?
Ikr? Honestly some lectures were really interesting but others were like a lullaby for me 😴
I understand, some bioarcheology lectures were boring for me too. By the way what college are you on?
*were. Medicine.
Sorry, i forgot 😣 and yeah, should've guessed... sorry
Hey it's okay. And don't apologize, maybe things were supposed to be like this
What do you mean?
I wasn't feeling very well on that school, i just didn't wanna quit in the first year. And before you ask i dropped out after second
So you were forcing yourself to stay on a school you didn't like anymore for two years?
Yup. Everyone else had gotten to the schools they wanted and loved it, i felt like i was wasting my time but if i left willingly only after a year i would be a year behind everyone else. So i left it up for fate
And fate decided to kick you out
True to that. But i still like science, just not the medicine part of it...
After studying biophysics i'm not even surprised...
It took your college drop out some time to write a reply so you made yourself a cup of your favourite tea, force of habit since you studied with it too. So far you're starting to like texting with some complete stranger. Getting to know their story. Is this why people casually slide into others' dms?
Your friend finally replied.
Sorry, my roommate needed help with packing. As for your last message there were lots of other classes that were equally if not harder than biophysics, but all of them either dealt with anatomy or physiology which is basically memorizing. When it comes to finding patterns and math and using logic i'm pretty slow
You chuckled and typed a reply.
You'd like it on my college then. Lots of memorizing, very little logic. Which sucks for me because i'm the exact opposite 😂
Well, now that i'm a free man and know an insider i just might apply 👀
So now that you know he's a man. Okay, you can live with that. Even though you felt a tad more nervous now that you know something a bit more specific.
What's your school called?
It's the natural science one. The same city as your previous school
You vividly remember your bus passing by the best medical school in your entire country. You just hope he really was attending that one and not a different, less prestigeus one.
Natural science? So STEM in other words
Basically
Yeah i know which one. Coincidentally after highschool that one was my second choice in case med doesn't work out.
See, maybe fate wanted you in STEM all along
Haha, maybe 😂 My name's Suguru Geto by the way
I'm Y/N, nice to meet you :)
*
Summer quickly passed and the only thing you remember was your talks with Geto. They were shy and reserved at the begining, mostly starting with 'how are you?' continued with 'good, and you?' followed by some awkward silent minutes before it evolved into a deep conversation about the immortality of a cockroach.
You found out lots of things about his life. How he met his best friend in highschool, how the two of them and one other girl used to wreak havoc across the town, how they all got into the same college albait with different intentions. The girl called Shoko genuenly wanted to become a doctor dreaming about it her whole life. Geto's best friend Gojo, being very competitive but also a son of a wealthy CEO didn't need to go to a college but wanted to to be with his friends (later he admited to Geto he got into that school just to show Shoko it's not as hard as she said it was). And Geto applied because he had no idea where else to go. He liked science, biology, chemistry, being in lab, creating something new which would help the world. Med school sounded like the clear answer for him, if it wasn't for the boredom he experienced the first semester.
He told you how he struggled in some classes finding them absolutely unnecessary and beneath him, his professor condescendingly talking to them as if they were less than worm beneath the ground if they didn't know an answer. He went above and beyond to at least pass the class hoping next semester would be better. Oh how wrong he was. No matter what he did, no matter how selflessly he helped his classmates they never showed gratitude. When he upped his grade from barely passing to top of the class no one even bat an eye, as if that was a sure thing.
By the time second year came he was so mentally drained he didn't even bother to show up to classes anymore. Why bother if the teachers are just reading the text off of their powerpoint presentation and he has to learn it by himself in the end anyways?
The more he ranted to you the more you pitied him. For you STEM was the first and only path in your life, dreaming about it since you were a kid. For him though? Thinking you finally found your path only to be this utterly disappointed must've been like a stab to the back.
Getting a letter about him being expelled must've been half relieving to him and half disappointing. On one hand you have your freedom of choice back on the other you have the stress of possibly not making it in.
The entire summer wasn't just about him talking to you, no no, he was also a great listener. You complained about mundane things to him and he always answered in matter of minutes. He was always there for you, but now you were the one to be there for him as well.
Y/N i'm so stressed i feel like puking
You'll be fine, don't worry about it. If anything there are lots of plant pots on hallways for you to puke in and fertilize them ^^
As if... i'll go to the deanship like a civilized person thank you very much
Very classy geto 🙄 By the way which place holds the entrance exams? Have you found it?
B1 404, standing infront of it. Why? Did you take it someplace else last year?
No, never had to take it, had grades good enough
Show off
I know 😘
You cringed as you realized what emoji you just sent him. Force of habit from sending it to your friends whenever you manage to prank them. To your surprise he sent you back a winking AND smirking emoji. You blushed. He has never sent you anything flirty or suggestive. Why would he? The two of you didn't even know eachother that well or what the other one looked like. He could be a slimy looking weirdo with a pedo-moustache for all you knew.
Okay Y/N, gotta go now, wish me luck
Always Geto, good luck!
*
Can I ask you something?
It was weird for him to start your everyday conversation with this sentence, you thought.
Sure. Is it something about the school mister accepted?
No, don't worry, i'll get to exploiting you later 😏 I wanted to ask, what do you look like?
If the first message didn't make you blush the second one sure did. You never asked eachother about your appearance. You already made an image of him in your head. The longer you knew him the more your imagination turned him from a questionable weirdo to an almost cute nerd.
You'll see once the semester starts
You really think i can wait that long? Do you even know me? If you're shy would it be better if i showed you how i looked like first?
Yeah, that would be better.
It took couple of minutes before your screen lit up with a new message.
You almost passed out. There's no way someone can look this good in just an oversized tshirt and sweatpants. And a man bun of all things! The jawline, you were pretty sure it could cut diamonds. His eyes, narrow and sharp, with irises dark enough to not even see his pupils. And yet they seemed oddly kind to you.
The longer you looked at the selfie he sent you the more heat rushed to your face. There's no way a guy this gorgeous has been texting with you this entire summer.
That's not you
It is
It isn't! You just googled a model or something
A model you say 😏
That damn emoji will kill you one day. Before you could get a hold of yourself you got another selfie from him. This time he had a post-it note with your name on it between his lips.
Believe me now?
*
It's been a couple of days since he sent you that picture and you still haven't replied. Every morning Geto woke up and checked his phone but still no replies from you. Well, aside from a picture of a naked cat and calling it your nude.
"Your girlfriend still not talking to you?" Gojo asked.
Geto sighed. "Stop calling her my girlfriend. And yes, still nothing. I told you that last selfie would be too much for her."
Gojo took a bite from his apple. "Was worth a try," he said mouth half full of his granny smith, "didn't she send you a pic back?"
Geto showed him his phone screen and Gojo coughed out his chewed peace of apple.
"Ew, you're cleaning it," Geto jumped back from the mix of apple and spit that landed next to him on the couch.
"Hey and whose fault it is to bag a girl with an excellent sense of humor?" Gojo reluctantly went to the kitchen to get a wipe to clean up his mess. "And even if she's ugly her being funny may make up for it."
Geto sighed. "She's just a friend who happens to be my future upperclassman, I don't care if she's ugly. I mean, I'm friends with you afterall," he smirked.
Gojo showed him his tongue while pulling one of his lower eyelids down and left the living room. (A/N: what Gojo just did is like giving someone a middle finger but in japanese way)
*
You were more stressed than ever. Which was partially understandable, you're about to enter the second year of university tomorrow. The assignments, the lab reports, the midterms, the finals.... Your head was already spinning from the amount of studying that's infront of you. And they say the first year is usually the hardest.
But other than the usual fears you had another one called Geto Suguru. A guy you've been talking to the entire summer. A guy who has sent you bunch of winky and smirky faces. And his actual face. Twice.
Since then you'd talked sporadically. Not that he was pestering you about your own face reveal, he was oddly conciderate about you not wanting to show yourself to him just yet. Both of you were just busy. You with buying new supplies for all your classes and him with probably the same.
It wasn't that you thought of yourself as ugly or anything. On your best days you even thought of yourself as quite cute. But compared to other girls around you... you just fell into the background. Forever the side character.
Either way, the closer it got to the first day of the semester the more messages from him blew up your phone every day. Stuff as "where is the xyz class" or "does this professor take attendance every lecture?" was on a daily basis now. Gone were the deep talks or good mornings that made your heart skip a beat even before you knew what the guy sending you these messages even looked like. But you couldn't blame him. New environment. New people. If you were in his place you'd probably act the same.
For the last time you checked your phone for new messages from him. Aside from the one thanking you for a map of the campus nothing new. He must've gone to sleep already, you thought.
Checking your backpack for the last time before bed has soothed your thoughts about possibly bumping into your internet friend tomorrow. You finally went to bed.
*
The bus is usually empty whenever you take it to school. Which you thank all gods for because it's a thirty minute drive and with the amount of walking you still have to do to get to the school you were greatful for always finding an empty seat. Sitting by the window as usual, looking at all those different people going about their morning routine. Kids of all ages going to schools, adults either nervously honking at the car infront of them or taking their dog for a walk with no care in the stressed out world around them. You were stuck inbetween these two worlds. Still burdened with school work but also with adult chores. Stuck in your own personal limbo.
The bus turned right. A huge light blue building appeared in the corner of your eye. Outside the window was the medical school you always passed by kn your way to school. The same medical school your new friend attended few months ago. You started to wonder about him for the first time that day and your usual angxiety returned. How will you meet? And when? Would it be today? Should you approach him if you see him? How will he react?
Your train of thoughts came to a stop just like the bus. Outside the window at the bus stop stood a familiar modelylike face. The same face you took a screenshot of and stared at every day since he sent it to you.
Suguru Geto boarded the same bus. Eyes still half asleep never even looked your direction. He took a seat right infront of you giving you a perfect view of his luscius hair tied in a half up bun. You stared at him as if he was a ghost. You weren't ready to meet him this soon. What should you do? Should you tap him on the shoulder? No. Rather not. You remember how he told you about his morning temper and how he can snap at people if he doesn't get enough sleep.
Out of fear of him snapping at you you pulled your hand back and stared out the window again. You'll bump into him later. Hopefully.
You were tense the rest of the drive to your school. When the bus finally came to your stop you practically sprinted to the bus door and out onto the busy street. Not even bother to look back if Geto gave you a weird look you quickly walked up the stairs and up the hill quickly getting surrounded by fellow students. Some were familiar from the previous year, some were complete strangers. You could easily spot a freshman, by their nervous faces and unsure steps. You looked just the same before.
Now your step was more confident, knowing where to go, but your hands were nervously rubbing eachother. Sometimes you checked behind your shoulder and sure enough Geto was right there towering above most of the students. You had guessed he was tall but that tall?
No matter. Pretty soon your paths would drift apart. He already told you he has a virology lecture which takes place in a completely separate building than your biochemistry labs. If you were lucky you could pass by him in a hall today. You hoped not to though. Sitting behind him has already made your heart nearly beat out of your chest, how would it react if he was walking right towards you?
Suddenly your phone vibrated in your pocket as you walked through the front entrance. It was Geto. You exchanged phone numbers in case he ever needed anything and you weren't online to see his message. Which was what you told him. In reality you really wanted to hear his voice at some point. In a safe distance.
You pulled out your phone and checked to see what he had sent you. It was a picture of the front entrance with a caption "i'm on a highway to hell". You chuckled. Of course he would be into that type of music. Before you turned the phone off something caught your eye. It was the back of your head. Right there in the middle of the picture about to enter the school. You blushed. If only he knew he already took a picture of you.
You only replied with a smiley face and informed him you're already on your way to your first class. He wished you good luck as you did him and both of you stepped into the new chapter of your lives.
*
You traitor
Only a week into the semester and he already scared you half to death. Did he already find out what you looked like?
Why didn't you tell me i have to take organic chemistry again 😫
You sighed in relief.
Sorry buddy. But hey, look at it from the bright side: you already studied all of it once before. And i doubt our organic chemistry is more difficult than yours was
The lectures are fine, already had one this week. But the labs. THE LABS
Come on it can't be that bad. Judging by the pictures of your cooking over the summer, you're quite skilled at measuring and mixing ingredients. It just won't be edible
It's not that. The labs are super boring. You don't acomplish anything during them and their only purpose is for you to learn how to behave in labs in general, how to work with the various tools and how to properly write lab reports. They just prepare you for AFTER you already graduate
Isn't that how all labs are though?
Well, yes. But we at least had little competitions during our morgue classes
YOU WENT TO THE ACTUAL MORGUE 💀
No, don't worry. Me and Satoru called it that. It was actually autopsy room
Satoru. Your friend right?
Yeah
Do you miss him?
Sometimes. i mean we are still roommates but since we have different scheudals we don't get to interact much outside of weekends... But on the bright side as you like to say i can finally focus on the lectures 100%. Before Satoru used to always taunt me into playing tic-tac-toe. I miss the winning tho...
You chuckled. He was so goofy, despite looking really serious every time you caught a sight of him. Maybe he just has a resting homicide face.
Anyways, have to go now. Tomorrow is my first organic chemistry lab
Okay, good night Suguru! Good luck!
:)
What?
You called me Suguru
Only then you realized your mistake.
I'm so sorry 😣
It's fine. I like it. Good night. Sweet dreams <3
*
As unlucky as you were while texting Suguru you were lucky in other aspects. Your morning lecture got cancelled. Which meant you had around two hours of free time. Which you couldn't spend in bed unfortunatelly, because the little remnants of bad luck caused you to read the mail about cancelation only after you were already in school. It was fine tho. You could finally get a taste of true college life.
You got a coffee from school café, bought a sandwitch from the diner, found yourself a couch in a chill zone near the chemistry department, which were usually all full of stressed out or relaxing students, pulled out a laptop and worked on your lab report.
Working came easy to you even though you had rushing students all around you. Even through all the noise and distraction your fingertips still dance across the keys, your mind still produced intelligent sounding senteces. You were about to save the whole file when someone tapped you kn the shoulder.
"Yeah-?" you looked up and nearly died right then and there. It was Suguru. Towering above you with his hair fully pulled up except for a small strand framing his face. Has he found you already?
"Sorry but, do you know where the room CH1 409 is? We're kinda lost and only have like 7 minutes to get there," he said sheepishly as he stepped aside revealing what you assumed were his three lab mates. Two of them were girls. You hated how jealous you started to feel.
"S-sure," you managed to stutter out. "I can take you there actually. It's a little difficult to find and I'm not the best direction giver," you chuckled awkwardly while putting your laptop back to your bag.
"Wonderful! Thank you," said one of Suguru's friends.
You nodded and walked ahead of them. It was a shame you didn't get to hear his voice more. You decided to change it.
"So, you're freshmen," you started. As much as you hated smalltalk you really wanted to hear that smooth baritone of his.
Your unluckiness strikes again. "Yeah, how did you know?" said one of the girls.
"You dummy," told her the other girl, "she knows where the lab is, she's probably had to take the exact same classes as us!"
"Oh, yeah you're right."
"And how do you like it here so far?" you tried again.
"It's great here," answered the guy, "though some classes are pretty difficult. I have no idea how I'll be able to pass."
"Don't worry, if you have motivation you'll pass," you tried encouraging him. "What about you?" you directed your question at Suguru who was walking behind everyone.
He only shrugged. "Don't know, has only been a week. Too short to judge," he answere a bit coldly.
"Oh don't mind him," one of the girls patted your back, "he can be a giant ass sometimes."
Not to me though, you thought. What about all those times he was the sweetest guy with you? Maybe he just hasn't slept well. Yeah, that must be it.
Before you could try to conversate a bit more you arrived at the lab. There were other freshmen already waiting in their lab coats on and their notebooks in hands. Suguru and his friends pulled out their lab coats as well. Disappointed at your very first (albeit unofficial) meeting you turned around to leave when one of the girls stopped you.
"Thank you so much for showing us the way!" she said cheerfully. Behind her stood Suguru. Now that you think about it he was always walking behind her. If you inspected her more closely you noticed she had a miniskirt on with fishnets underneath.
Jealousy is a beast that you usually fight off quite quickly. But today you lost. "Can I give you an advice?"
"Sure," she smiled, her perfectly white teeth stood out against the deep red lipstick she had on.
"Don't wear too much make up to labs, the fumes from chemicals could react with it and burn you. Also tie your hair up," you gestured at her long silky waves while noticing how she tried to hide her big forhead by letting it down, "they could catch on fire."
Hopefully you desguised your pettiness as good enough of an advice. The girl you were talking to seemed convinced as she thanked you prefusely before asking around for a hairtie. The other girl already pulled out hers.
You waved goodbye to the freshmen, mostly Suguru. They waved back, except for Suguru who kept looking at you quizicaly.
Your previous spot on couches was occupied. You opted for a different resting place, near a room where your next lecture will be held in. It wasn't as cozy as the couch but it was free of any people and it had a desk too. No more balancing your laptop on your thighs.
As you sat down you pulled out your laptop, notebook from labs and a phone who was already telling you about one unread message from Suguru.
Met my first unpleasant person in this place
Your heart tightened. Unpleasant?
What do you mean?
However he didn't respond back. Of course he didn't. He had labs. He was probably busy with titration or other bullshit you did a year ago. You will just have to wait.
The waiting took half a day. Right as his labs were finishing your lecture was about to start. And since this professor wasn't one of the kind ones to send you his presentations you had to take notes manually. It took more than two hours for you to finally get on your phone.
We were lost on our way to organic chem labs and i had to ask someone on a way there. The girl was nice, she even lead us there. But then she made some passive agressive comments to my friend
Oh shit. Were you really that bad?
What did the girl say?
Just told her she can't wear that much make up and has to tie her hair back. My friend has acne she masks with the make up and pretty big forhead which she told me she's self conscious of. Whatever that girl was a bitch for saying that to her
You resisted the urge to cry, swallowed the huge lump in your throat and sat down on the nearest bench. You didn't mean to be that bad. Were you really acting like a bitch? Maybe he's just exaggarating. It was only pettiness. It won't happen again.
Those were good advices tho. The fumes from chemicals could mess up with the make up and burn her skin and if she leaned down above a burner her hair could catch on fire
Once you realized how much you sounded like "that bitch" Suguru was talking about you quickly typed another message.
It was the first thing our professor told us and he beat it into our heads every time a girl came in with lose hair
A reply from him came couple of minutes later.
Yeah, maybe you're right. It's just that That girl had a weird look on her face
You had no way of replying to that. Or mood to reply as well. You just wrote him a quick ttyl and went to the bus stop. On your way downhill from the school you felt your face heating up more and more from embarassement. You knew you should've fought with jealousy more. You knew you should've kept your mouth shut. Now that moment will haunt you forever. And not only that, if you ever get enough courage to reveal yourself to him he will instantly remember you as his first unpleasant person in there.
All in all, it was just the first week but you already want the whole semester to end.
*
Couple of weeks passed. Suguru and you texted nearly every day. Mostly after school. Sometimes he teased you by sending you picutres of stray cats near the campus with captions 'this you?' to which you always sent a rolling eye emoji.
Makes me wonder how many times we passed eachother 🤔
Lots, trust me
Whaaa? And you never bothered to talk to me?
We did actually
Your last message made him lean back too much on his chair and fall.
"You okay?" asked Shoko who still visited him and Gojo either out of boredom or nostalgia's sake.
Suguru ignored her concern and quickly shuffled in his memory. He has talked to so many people outside his class already. Mostly asking for directions to different places. But for the love of him he couldn't figure out if he talked to any girls or how many he talked to. Or how they looked like.
Aaaand can you tell me what we talked about?
You were asking for directions to a lab
Do you even know how little that narrows it down? And why are you so talkative today anyways? Did i tell you something rude or?
No. It's biochemistry. I can't figure it out 😭
Aaaw, my poor girl
As much as he liked the flustered reactions whenever he happened to mildly flirt with you he genuenly meant it this time. He remembers his own time figuratively and literally crying over biochemistry. He decided to take a leap of faith.
How about i study with you? I had biochemistry for two whole semesters and passed it by some miracle
You'd do that for me?
Sure. Besides after all the material you've already sent me and how much you already helped me it's about time i helped you back. Otherwise i just feel like a leech
There was no reply from you for couple of minutes and Suguru was affraid he maybe overstepped this invisible line you drew between them.
He heard hushed voices behind his back.
"What?" he snapped a little more annoyed than he intended.
"Is that girl ignoring you again?" Shoko puffed out some smoke from her cigarette.
"She isn't ignoring me," he waved his hand around in the cloud of smoke clearing the air a bit, "it just takes her a little longer."
"Riiight," Shoko put her cigarette between her lips again.
"I don't understand how the two of you haven't met already," Gojo complained. He should be studying along with Shoko but as usual he kept lounging around, dismissing Shoko's comments about him failing this class for sure with that attitude.
"Half of the semester is behind us already and you still have no idea how she looks like."
"She's shy, let her be."
"Aaaw, look how he's defending his girlfriend," Gojo cooed.
Geto glared.
"Soon to be girlfriend," Gojo corrected himself.
"With the way she's talking to me soon to be an ex friend. She's been so distant lately..." he rubbed the bridge of his nose in frustration.
"Don't worry, maybe she's just busy," Shoko reassured him.
"She did mention something about biochemistry."
"See!"
"Even then, her messages have been rather weird. Sometimes she's her happy talkative self and other days she barely texts back a full sentence," he sighed.
Gojo patted his shoulder. "That's girls for you. Which reminds me," he pulled out his own phone out of his pocket, "there's a joined party for med students and scientists as well. How about we go? You'll finally get to relax," he adressed poor Shoko hovering above her notes, "and you can invite your soon to be slash maybe never be girlfriend and finally meet her! I plan on meeting this one lady myself so we can organize a double date if you're shy."
"No matter how much you try Utahime will still tell you to go fuck yourself," Shoko reminded him.
Gojo turned around at her. "Well first of all-!"
Geto payed no mind to their arguement anymore. His phone buzzed in his hand. You replied.
Okay. But can we study right now please? Through a phone call?
In a speed of light Geto sneaked out of the living room to his own bedroom and searched for his old biochemistry notes. Even though he offered to help he himself was pretty clueless and barely passed the finals. Still the urge to finally hear your voice was bigger than the embarassment possibly awaiting him.
As soon as he found the old dusty notebook he sat down at his desk and dialed you.
It took only two rings for you to answer.
"Hello?"
By god your voice sounded so cute. He wanted to squich your cheeks so bad. Unfortunatelly he couldn't remember a single person he talked to who would even come close to sounding like you. Granted, the phone makes everyone's voice sound a bit robotic but still. Should he start recording every conversation he has from now on?
"Well hello there," he greeted back with a smile. "So, what is it you need help with?"
You hummed. He distantly heard ruffling of couple of papers. Eventually you answered. "Gluconeogenesis."
"Okay, a bit more specificly?" he already started looking for a page about it but couldn't seem to find it. Did they even cover it?
"Well, the whole thing basically. I know it's glycolysis but backwards but in the presentation the professor showed us were couple of reactions that looked confusing and I don't know what else to do."
Even though he found your whine at the end of your sentence cute he was frantically turning page after page looking for any headtitle starting on G but nothing.
Someone opened his door.
"Who're you talking to?" both his best friend and Shoko peaked through the opened door.
Geto waved at them to leave. "Uhm give me a moment okay?" he said to the phone and then pushed it to his shoulder. "Shoko do you have a biochemistry notebook here?"
"Is that your girl?" she asked insted, excitement in her eyes. "Put her on loudspeaker!"
"Do you have it or not?!"
"If I say I do will you let me hear her?"
Geto contemplated. He wanted to keep you just to himself for a while longer. But without Shoko's help...
Gojo came in with his own half torn notebook dangling it infront of Geto. "It's all yours if you let us hear her."
Geto frowned into his best friends smirked face which matched Shoko's. He rolled his eyes and finally spoke to the phone again. "Listen Y/N, my friends want to hear you, can I put you on a loudspeaker?"
"Uhm, sure?"
As soon as he did Gojo started asking bunch of questions. "Heey how are you? Are you the Y/N Sugu won't shut up about? How do you look like? Why didn't you send my boy a selfie? He likes black so go on and buy some nice black lingerie for him yeah?"
By the time he finished his little rant Geto covered his phones's microphone and nearly kicked him in the gut. Hopefully you didn't hear most of his questions.
Shoko punched him as well chastising him for scaring you off. "Don't mind him Y/N, you'll get used to him. Now say something already!"
After a second of silence you peeped out a shy: "Hi."
"Oh my god Suguru she sounds so cute," Gojo gushed.
"Don't let her near him," Shoko pointed at Gojo. "It was nice to hear you Y/N, can't wait for Suguru to introduce you to us properly. Enjoy your study date!" she said as she dragged Gojo away before he could blabber out some more inapropriate things.
Suguru turned the loudspeaker off and it was just you two again.
"What the hell was that," you asked with panic in your voice.
"My friends trying to ruin my life. They mean well though, don't worry. It's just rare for them to see me interacting with a girl."
"But whenever I see you on the halls you're surrounded by couple of girls though."
Geto smirked. "Is that jealousy I hear?"
"Maybe."
Before he could press any further you asked about biochemistry and he quickly found the page he needed. Thankfully back then Gojo was at least trying to take notes in classes so the entire gluconeogenesis was neatly explained. After about twenty minutes you exclaimed you finally understood and thanked him.
"My pleasure Y/N. Was this why you weren't talking to me that much?" he leaned back on his chair.
"This and another thing, but it's okay now."
"Aaaw, what other thing? You know you can always talk to me right?"
"I know, but not this time. Sorry."
"It's fine," he said sadly. In the back of his mind he imagined bunch of different scenarios that could trouble you. Failed test, mean classmates, or worse a crush on a classmate.
"Hey, you have a nice voice," your words pulled him from his thoughts.
He chuckled. "Look who's talking. Even though are you sure it was me you talked to? I swear I never heard such a melodic voice from anyone in school."
"Well, you were kinda in a hurry. And was focusing elsewhere too..."
"Huh? What do you mean?" he genuenly didn't understand. Focusing elsewhere?
"Nevermind. By the way how do you like it so far? It's been almost half a semester now."
"It's going pretty good. Much more interesting than med school. Even though," he rocked on his chair back and forth, "it would've been nicer if we could've met face to face."
"Really?"
"Yeah, really."
"I don't think that's a good idea though."
He quickly stopped rocking and sat up straight. "What? Y/N..." he couldn't even find words. Why wouldn't you want to meet up with him? "Y/N, have I been rude to you? Have I scared you off while we talked in real life?"
"No."
He sighed in relief.
"You barely even looked at me."
His heart tightened again.
"It's just that," you paused for a second trying to put together a whole sentence, "I've seen the girls you hang around Suguru and all of them are really beautiful. Standing besides them I look nothing special. You would be disappointed if we met and you knew it was me. Isn't it better this way? I bet you imagine me as this model or something," you chuckled but he could hear the sadness in your voice.
"Y/N, first of all my imagination is pretty bad so I only imagine you as a girl with your name written across your face," you chuckled at that which made his heart swell, "and second of all those girls hang around me, not the other way around. Most of the time we travel in groups and look for places together which is way more efficient than getting lost alone. Besides, none of them can even hold a candle to you intellectually. Once in a virology lab this one girl gathered a sample of bacteria on that wire thingy and put the whole thing into the burner. She was very surprised why she had nothing grown on her petri dish a week later"
"Oh my god," you laughed out loud. "How will she pass?"
"Maybe she won't. I heard some other upperclassmen say the first year is usually treated as a sorting out year."
"It's possible. But her effectively killing all her bacteria sample is something else."
"It is," he chuckled at the memory. "Now that I think about it do you remember that unpleasant girl i told you some weeks back?"
"Yeah," you said emotionlessly but he paid it no mind.
"The girl she gave advice to was the same girl who burned off all her bacteria. Maybe she was right about advicing her like that. Maybe she could smell the stupid on her."
"Maybe."
There it was again. The one word answers.
"What is it now?" he asked concerned.
"Nothing, I just," you paused. He could sense a hesitation from your side. Eventually you spoke up again. "I just think I know that girl."
"Oh? Is she your friend?"
"More or less."
"Then I'm sorry if I offended her."
"Nah, it's fine. Do you still think of her as a bitch?"
"No."
"Then all's fine," he could hear you smile and he smiled as well.
"Well Suguru, as much as I like hearing your voice I have to go to sleep now. Thank you for explaining it to me again. I don't know what I would've done without you."
His heart sped up at the praise. "It was fine Y/N, that's what friends are for right? Oh and one more thing!"
"Yeah?"
He hesitated but finally he gathered enough courage. "Satoru told me about an upcoming party for scientists. Are you coming?" he asked hopefully.
"Maybe. It should be after a midterm from embryology. Let me check."
He patiently waited while you checked your calendar. Even if you wouldn't be going he would still find a way to meet you. Now that he knows what you sound like he could just walk around and listen to people talking.
"No, unfortunately it's the night before the midterm. I'm so sorry."
"It's okay," he tried masking his disappointment. Even though he admired how dedicated you were to your studies he really wished you could make an exception.
"Hey, maybe next time, okay?"
"Yeah, maybe fate will arrange my life again," he joked and you chuckled.
"Yeah. You never know. Good night Suguru. Sweet dreams."
*
Your midterm was around the corner. As was the party Suguru mentioned. You still see him in halls here and there, often surrounded by a group of people. There didn't seem to be a time where he was alone. Unsurprisingly so, since he looked like... well, like him. To sooth your jealousy there didn't seem to be any prominent lady hanging around him all the time. The faces in his close circle were always changing. Even the famous dummy from virology seemed to disappear. Maybe his words about merely traveling together were true.
Today however you payed no attention to him or his newfound friends. The only thing on your mind was your midterm. Other groups have already taken it and you heard them say how life draining it was. Their words were confirmed after you passed by a group of your friends who just finished it. Well, friends was a strong word. As freshmen you often relied on eachother but now that you know your way around and you were sorted jnto different groups you talked less and less.
"Hey," you greeted them. "How was it?"
"Run for your life girl," the one who had most prominent eyebags replied.
Some other people who you didn't know nodded, their faces equally as tired. Eveb the biggest know it all you've met in this darn buidling was mumbling something about retaking it.
From there your legs took you straight to library. It didn't look like those in movies you watched growing up. No fancy decoration or tables with green lamps. Just basic library with books stacked up to the ceiling, basic wooden uncomfortable looking chairs and tables with chipped edges. A pleasure to study there.
With a list of helpful books in your phone you walked around not looking for a particular one. Just procrastinating. If you managed to find one off your list you just flipped around and put it back in. All terms in there were already familiar to you. You doubted you could learn anything new by now.
Few rows bahind you something fell to the ground, the loud noise making you jump. A pretty loud 'fuck' along with a very familiar scolding from librarian soon followed. Amused you peeked into the corridor to check the poor guy's first experience with the dreaded librarian. It must be a freshman. Everyone else already knows to not even breath when in closed proximity of that witch.
It really was a freshman. But your freshman. Suguru stumbled from the alley into the corridor and quickly hid in the same row you were in, running by you, barely sparing you a glance.
The librarian calmed down and returned to her usual spot, a spawnpoint as you liked to call it. Once she did Suguru sighed and leaned back, a small smile tugging on his lips.
You admired him for a bit. It's been a long time since you've seen him, let alone been this close to him. Once he calmed down his head fell back to its usual level and he finally noticed you. His smile faded and your heart cracked. "Hi," he politely greeted. You only nodded back aknowledging him and opened the book you held on a random page. The whole book could be upside down and you would never even know, the only thing you were focusing on was his figure. Which was moving slowly towards you.
"Uhm, excuse me," his melodic voice made you look up at him. Your cheeks got heated as you waited for his next words. "Could you move?" he asked and pointed at the shelf you were leaning on.
"Oh, sorry," you whispered back and quickly moved. Your legs itched to walk away completely to not embarass yourself even further but something stopped you. A sudden urge rose inside you. 'Talk to him. Tell him.'
He flipped through his book, completely unbothered by his surroundings. Thank god for that. It gave you some time to psych yourself up. Twice you opened your mouth and closed it again. He took out his phone to snap couple of pictures of the pages in his hands. An idea.
You pulled your own phone out and messaged him.
Hey, you there?
After hitting send it only took couple of seconds for his phone to vibrate. He glanced at it again with annoyance but after a while a smile creeped up his face as his fingers danced across the screen.
Well hello, how was the study session?
Good. Listen, where are you right now?
Butterflies flew around your insides as you watched him type.
In library. Why? Wanna meet? ;)
This is it. It's now or never.
Look left.
With hope filled eyes you watched him and waited. The message finally got delivered. He read it. Then he turned his head. Your eyes finally met.
"Hi," you said carefully.
"Hi," he repeated, a dumbstruck expression on his face.
You expected a lot. Everything actually. But not what he did. It was just a small movement, some would write it off as just a spasm of muscles. In split second his eyes drifted from your face to someplace behind you and back down to you. As if checking if you're really the only one there.
Your throat tightened as tears slowly clouded your vision. "You're disappointed, right?"
That brought him back to reality as he shook his head. "No, no, of course not. Just surprised, that's all!"
How you wished you believed him. A tear has already escaped your eye and you cursed yourself. Not wanting to embarass yourself even further you turned around ready to leave.
"Hey, wait up," he stopped you by putting his large hand on your shoulder.
"SHUT YOUR MOUTHS," came an angry voice of the librarian. Both of your hearts stopped beating for a moment.
"Outside?" he mouthed to you.
You nodded and both of you practically sublimated out of there. Standing outside he finally took a good look at you. His eyes resting only on you, despite people walking around. Feeling selfconscious you tugged on your coat. It was supposed to snow today so you took the fluffiest you had, making you look three times your size.
"Ehm, so," you broke the silence, "it was nice meeting you and all but, I have midterm to study for sooo..."
"Oh, but we only just met," he pouted. It was cute, seeing a hunk of a man like him pouting like a kid who lost his favourite toy.
"Sorry," you apologized genuenly meaning it. Even though you'd love to stay time was pressing down on you.
Suddenly his eyes lit up. "Do you remember the party I mentioned to you?"
"The one in two days? Yeah, I remember. Why?"
He grinned. "My roommate is going there so my place will be free. And I need to study as well so we can study together. What do you say?"
His suggestion was tempting. But then again, being with him, all alone, possibly even staying the night? But you always studied much more efficient when you had someone beside you.
After few moments of pondering you nodded making his eyes even brighter.
"Great! I'll text you the address," he held up his phone and winked. "See you later kitten."
*
"This was probably a bad idea," you tell yourself as you check the address one last time. You were already standing under the building. A pretty fancy one. Didn't look like dorms at all. Maybe it wasn't. He did mention his roommate is unholy rich though so maybe this is one of the perks of being his friend?
First snowflakes dropped on your phone screen. You looked up. The clouds didn't even look dark enough to start snowing. The weather forecast didn't mentikn it either. You pulled your coat tighter around you a regretted not putting on another layer just in case like you use to.
The front entrance opened revealing Suguru in black sweatpants and black knitted sweater. "There you are! Come in before you freeze," he stepped aside and held the door open for you.
His place was on the eighth floor. The ride in the elevator wasn't long but for you, being so close to Suguru, it seemed like hours. Finally the elevator dinged and the doors opened. A white haired man wearing a pretty expensive looking shirt stood infront of it. You looked up and him and gulped. What kind of a man wears shades in the building?
"Sugu, is that her?" the man asked pointing a finger at you not even looking in your direction.
Suguru pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yes, this is her. Y/N, this is-"
"Satoru," he took your cold hand in his and leaned down, "pleasure to meet you."
Before he could kiss the back of your hand you pulled it from under his nose and held defensively against your chest. Suguru's shades slid down his nose slightly, revealing surprised blue eyes.
Giggling came from behind him. "I like her," said a brunnette in dark blue dress. "I'm Ieri."
"I'm Y/N," you smiled.
Suguru cleared his throat. "Okay now that we all know who the other one is," he placed his hand on your lower back making your blood quickly travel to your cheeks, "we better go study. Enjoy the party you two," he gently pushed you inside the open apartment door.
"Fine, fine," Satoru rolled his eyes. "If you need condoms I put some of mine in your bedside table."
"We are really going to study though," you said but he only chuckled.
"Yeah I know. Embryology," he winked under his shades and pulled Ieri along with him leaving you and blushing Suguru behind. Alone.
"Ignore him," he said and offered you Ieri's soft slippers. "Tea?"
"Yes please," you took of your coat and hanged it. Their place didn't look like it belonged to a pair of students at all. Everything looked expensive. The ridiculously giant aquarium in the living room wasn't helping at all. Upon further inspection you only saw two fish in there, one black the other white.
Suguru came back from the kitchen. "Those were Satoru's idea," he tapped the aquarium glass.
"It's cute. To represent you and him?"
"Yeah," he put his hands in his pockets and stood beside you. In the glass' reflection yout two almost looked like you were on a date in aquarium. You smiled at the thought. "He also wanted Ieri to have one as well but she refused. I have a feeling she's shipping us."
You chuckled. "Then my presence must be ruining her ship."
"Hmm, are you suggesting something?" he smirked and leaned in closer to you.
"Ehm," you averted your eyes and pulled your backpack off of your shoulders, "we got work to do."
"Right," he straightened back up, his expression unreadable. "Do you want to stay here or go to my bedroom?"
"We can go to yours," you say without actually thinking how it might make you look. Thankfully Suguru found no deeper meaning behind it and lead you to a decently big room. You could tell he was preparing for your visit. No man is this tidy. Even though it's Suguru.
"Make yourself at home, I'll go finish the tea."
"Thanks."
You walked around a bit. There were some pictures of his youth. Some were with people you didn't recognise, some with young Satoru. On all of them he looked extremely cute. Puberty must've hit him like a truck. You also took notice of the dumbells and other training equipment hidden in the corner. You always assumed people like him just went to a gym, or better yet had their own personal gym. Guess he's more of an introvert than you gave him credit for.
Without any further inspections you sat down on his bed, so soft and welcoming. You resisted the urge to lay back and drift off to sleep. It would be perfect. Big soft warm bed, picking up snowstorm outside, a handsome man laying by your side. You shook your head. You're just friends. You're just a friend.
"Tea is here," he walked in with two mugs in his hand handing one to you.
You just held it, wamring up your cold fingers. "Thanks."
With a small smile he nodded and sat right across you on his gamer chair. Did he play videogames as well?
"So, how does the whole studying in pair go?"
You sipped on your tea. Actually you had no idea. The only collective studying yoj ever did was with him through a phone that one time. It was more him explaining things to you rather than mutual teaching. In the end you shrugged. "We'll have to figure it out as we go."
"Guess we will," he leaned back.
He gazed at you so long it made you selfconscious. "What?" you giggled nervously.
He shook his head. "Nothing, just," he moved to lean forward on his legs, "never thought I'd have you here."
"Weren't you the one to beg for a meeting?" recalled all the times he asked on which floor of the school you were or asking for your schedual to surprise you after class.
"I didn't mean that," he said and pointed at his bed. "I meant here."
You looked down and blushed. "Oh."
He chuckled at your flustered expression. "Don't worry, I'm not like Satoru."
"Like Satoru?"
"Horny."
You choked.
"C-can we start studying now?"
He nodded.
*
The clock on his bedroom wall slowly ticked away. You revised everything yoh needed and now was just helping Suguru. In the past hour he restlessly moved from sitting on his chair, to sitting on the parapet to now sitting on the ground right between your legs while you were playing with his long silky hair.
"Come on Suguru! I know you know this!" you tapped his scalp.
"Even if you threatened to shoot me I wouldn't know," he groaned and flipped through his notes again. "Maybe it won't even be on the damn midterm."
"The last time I said this I had to retake it. Besides if you don't pass on the first time then you'll have to retake after Christmas along with your finals. Do you want that?"
He leaned into your hands and closed his eyes. "That won't happen," he tilted his head back and looked at you, "because I have you now."
You chuckled and somehow didn't get flustered. Maybe you were desentisized after spending multiple hours on end with him? "Like I will sit there with you while you take it."
"Why not? I could squeeze you up," he got up from his spot and hugged you real tight against him, "and put you in my pocket like a talisman."
You giggled at him hugging and squeezing you. Without even realizing it he fell down with you in his arms on his massive bed, laughing along with you. When you opened your eyes you were met with his bare neck and long hair framing it. You looked up and realized how close the tow of you are. And how dark it has gotten outside.
He noticed how awkwardly you held your hands infront of you and losened his grip. "I'm sorry. Do you want to go?"
You shook your head and shushed the butterflies in your stomach. "Nope, I just-" you looked away from him, "maybe you're used to it but I've never been this close to a man before..."
He smiled and brushed your hair out of your face to get a better look at you. "I'm not used to it. I told you it's not often I'm close with a member of the opposite sex, and that's why Satoru and Ieri acted so weird. Besides," his hand fell from the top of your head to your neck and rested there, "you're the first girl to lay in this bed."
Your eyes went wide. "Really?"
"Yeah, really."
You had no words. How do normal people even react to something like that? You just hummed and let your eyes roam around his face. He looked really cute right now. Like a cat. Even before he always reminded you of a cat. One of your hands rose up from your chest and with the lenght of your forefinger petted him under his jaw, like you would a cat.
"Meow," he said and you chuckled. But your finger didn't stop petting. Hiw own thumbed rubbed the back of your neck, his palm heavy on the side of it.
"I like bwing around you," you confessed."
"Me too. You're so calming."
You hummed and closed your eyes. "Would you mind if I stayed the night?"
"Not at all. I"ll even drive you to school tomorrow so you won't have to freeze in a bus."
Your eyes shot open. "You have a car?"
He shook his head. "Satoru does. He owes me for so much already. And he forgot his keys here too."
You swatted his shoulder lightly. "You're the worst!"
"Only for you."
There it was again. That damn smirk you imagined every time he sent it in an emoji form. Now it was right infront of your face. You readjusted your head. Now it was on the same level as his face as opposed to before when it was underneath it.
"Why did you message me that first time?"
He thought for a while. "Out of boredom mostly. But I'm glad I did," his hand moved from your neck up to your cheek.
"And why did you keep messaging me?"
"Why did you?"
You weren't sure yourself. "I don't know. You were nice I guess."
"And?" he moved closer to you, the tip of his nose brushing your own.
"I don't know!" You whined and moved your head to brush his nose. "What do you want to hear from me?"
"A confession or something," he mumbled. "I really want to hear you say you like me."
Your movement stopped. He wanted what? "Why?"
"Because," he brushed his thumb on your cheek, "I like you and I want to hear you say it back."
"You like me?" you asked not believing him.
"I do."
"Why?" some self-hating tears burned your eyes. There's no way you were this lucky. There's no way he's serious. Someone like him won't just start liking someone like you.
"Because I felt like it. Will you let me?" he asked and quickly glanced down at your lips. His question was about more than him liking you.
You closed your eyes and let the fate play out this scenario however it wanted. It was its fault he came into your life in the first place.
Suguru smiled and pulled your head towards him. His lips were soft. At first it was just a snall peck, filling your chest with warmth much sweeter than the tea he made you. When he pulled back you kissed him again. He locked your lips together, enjoying the way you moved against him. His other hand pulled your waist towards him and you sighed into his mouth. No one has ever touched you like this before. You could get used to this.
When sweet kisses weren't enough for him anymore he rolled you on your back while stradling you and deepened the kiss. You were surprised, sure, but certainly not dissapointed. You pulled on his lose hair, making him moan into you. This amount of power over a man wasn't so bad. Your hands snaked around his neck while his lowered to your thighs propping them up to lock around his waist. Something hard poked into your center.
Your eyes shot open and you gently pushed on his shoulders to give you some time to breathe.
"Do you want to stop?" he asked. From this short of a distance you could finally see his pupils agajnst his dark eyes. They were blown wide with desire.
You gulped and shook your head. "I'm scared."
He smiled gently and stroked your cheek. "Shh, it's okay. I'll be gentle."
His other hand played with the hem of your shirt, silently asked for permission. Which you gave.
He pulled your shirt of exposing your bare chest to him. You don't even know what you thought that morning not putting on a bra. But right now you were kinda glad you didn't. Less time wasting.
He immediatelly started kissing a path from your neck down to your chest. Sucking a hickey on your sternutm while both of his hands squeezed and massaged your breasts, thumbs flicking across your nipples. You whined at the foreign feeling. The hardness between your legs got even more prominent. Your legs locked around his torso and lifted your upper half to be close to him again. While your ass was off the bed he tried to pull down your warm trousers. Eventually they joined your shirt on the floor.
"Not fair," you whined and pulled on his sweater.
"Lemme fix it," he mumbled into your skin and sat up to pull his clothes away.
Of course he had a six pack. Of course he did. He leaned down and continued kissing your chest. You saw his back muscles. You swore he had muscle groups you thought were a myth.
Once his mouth got to your panties you came to a horrifying realization: you didn't shave.
"Sugu, stop," you tapped on his back making him look up at you.
"Hmm?"
"I'm sorry, I-I didn't," you looked away in embarassment.
"You didn't what, sweet?" he caressed the inside of your thigh and you shivered.
"It's a mess down there," you finally admitted hiding your face in your hands.
He tsked and pulled your hands from your face giving you a soft kiss. "No good man is affraid of a little forrest," he winked at you and dove right back where he stopped.
"Oh my- Sugu~"
He made out with your lower lips just as passionately as he did with your upper ones. Not used to the new sensation your legs tried to close but he held them wide open, even folded them up against your chest giving him better access. You moaned and whined, everytime you did he tried something new. New speed, new preassure. He spelled his own name on your clit with his tongue before sucking it, making sure to make you feel as good as possible.
Suddenly something poked your entrance. You shot your eyes opened panicked but quickly shut them closed when his long finger stroke your insides. No one has ever touched you in there. Not even yourself. Once he made a 'come closer' motion you were done for.
With a final kiss he pulled out his glitening forefinger. "Well, that was fast," he commented.
"Shut up," you hid your face once again.
He chuckled and moved up again, your legs found their home around his waist. He kissed your hands hiding your face. "It's cute kitten, don't hide away from me," he tapped your wrist. You pulled your hand away revealing your flushed face. "There you are," he smiled and kissed you. He licked inside your mouth and you tasted something more than just his saliva.
While he made out he pulled down his sweatpants and the hardness you felt before sprang free now. Too embarassed you didn't even attempt to glance down. Feeling how big he was down there was way more than seeing it.
"No way that will fit inside," you sighed into his mouth.
"We'll make it," he kissed you before straigthening up and leaning to the side of the bed.
"What are you-?"
"You wouldn't want to study embryology in practice now, would you?" he winked and opened his bedside table.
Embarassed you looked away from him and studied the arm that was still resting beside your head. His bicep must be bigger than your face. And the veins on his fore arms! A wet dream of every nurse for sure.
You mentally slap yourself. Why must you always think like a scientist?!
While you were scolding yourself he quickly slipped on a condom and his tip was now poking at your entrance.
"This will probably hurt," he whispered into your ear.
You found his hand and held it tightly, his fingers interlocking yours. "I trust you."
Slowly, inch by inch he moved inside. If his finger was way too long you weren't even ready for his nether region. He stretched you out in all directions, but mostly forward as he disappeared inside you more and more. You whined here and there but he kissed your cheek and told you how well you're doing and how it will feel good afterwards. His thumb kept rubbing the back of your hand as he moved his hips thrusting up into you.
Then, you didn't even know how but he was all inside. Once he was he groaned. "Fuck," he breathed out and his head fell into the crook of your neck and kissed you there. "You're so soft."
He breathed against your neck and you felt shivers run down your spine. He pulsed inside you and by the way he was breathing you knew he was trying to control himself to not hurt you. Oh how you loved this man.
Your other hand, the one not holding onto his, got lost in his hair. "Y-you can move."
You felt him grin against your skin. He pulled out, making you feel awfully empty, but quickly filling you up again making you gasp. "Oh~"
His arm moved from beside your head to hold your ass in place as he thrusted inside. Slow and steady. His tip always caressed that one spot his finger previously discovered. Every time you moaned he kissed yet another hickie into your neck and you feared you won't be able to last long.
A new feeling grew inside you. Much more powerful than the one before. "S-Sugu~" you breathed out, not being able to finish your sentence.
"Yes kitten?" He lifted his head. God he looked amazing. With his black hair framing his face and little beads of sweat forming on his forhead, like a crown of dewdrops.
"I-I-" he hit that spot again and you moaned seeing stars.
"Oh, you like it here," he angled his hips and poked that spongy spot again.
"N-n-n-" in this new position his pelvis rubbed just perfectly against your clit and it was damn near impossible for yout to even think.
"You're close?"
You nodded.
"Right behind you," he moaned and kept hitting that one wonderful spot unditl both of you fell apart. You first, him following closely after, filling the condom to the point of it leaking around his base. His head fell back into the crook of your neck, leaving soft kisses and catching his breath. Your own chest went up and down, touching his toned one with every breath. He stayed inside, staying nice and warm. You came to love being stretched like this. Unfortunately, both of your bodies would soon grow cold and would have to separate. He pulled out making you hiss.
"Sorry," he chuckled.
"Nah," you caressed the side of his face, "I loved it."
He smiled and kissed your palm. "Sleepy?"
You nodded and as if on cue yawned. Damn he was only with you once and he already knew your body better than you.
He got rid of his condom and threw covers over both of you, pulling your bodies together in the process. This was great. Exactly as you imagined. You and him together after a good and thorough study session, nice and warm while winter went crazy outside.
How could one stay awake?
*
Suguru stroked your naked back. Up and down, then back to your head again, scratching you like a cat. He woke up in the middle of the night and had been caressing you ever since. Usually he would curse this sudden wave of insomnia but now he was greatful. Who knows when will the two of you be like this? With how seriously you take school and his own hectic schedual mixed in? Better to enjoy this while he can.
Sun began to rise when he heard noises outside his bedroom. Satoru must be back.
Sure enough the white haired man stumbled through the threshold, his shades aslant and shakimg from the outside cold.
He made his way into kitchen but stopped once he got a peek into his bestfriend's bedroom. Thankfully you were laying chest to chest on him and most of you was covered by his blanket anyways but still Suguru tried to cover you from unwanted eyes.
Satoru grinned. "Just study?"
Suguru threw a pillow at him.
#geto x reader#geto suguru x reader#geto fluff#geto smut#geto x y/n#geto x you#jjk geto#jjk au#geto suguru x reader fluff#geto suguru x reader smut
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[IN-GAME CONVERSATION] - Five Pebbles, Gourmand, Survivor, Monk or Artificer. [Sky Islands - Dark Blue Pearl]
[ Returning again I see, very predictable that you would. ] [ Brought another pearl? Fine, I'll read it to you. ] [ It seems to be an old message from, Looks to the Moon and a friend. This interests me. ] === [ 1491.160 - PRIVATE ] Looks to the Moon, No Significant Harassment ] "I don't understand this at all. She left us and we don't even know what she did to cross herself out!" "Maybe she added some salt to her conduit system?" "Please, I don't wish to hear you make a mockery of the dead. I came to talk to you about my thoughts." "Bad timing I suppose, sorry Moon. If you are looking for somewhere to vent, I am here to listen." "Have you ever felt like we... haven't made any progress? That perhaps if we worked harder, we'd get to a solution that could match whatever Sliver of Straw did." "Am I wrong for that? Am I wrong for wanting to push forward a plan to finally let us rest once and for all? Is that bad of me?" "That, is a complicated question... and while you aren't in the wrong for wanting to try harder, it may do more harm than good. For everyone's sake that is." "Explain how doing better for the sake of every iterator is harmful. I perform to my maximum input constantly and I don't see how it does me any harm." "Well, for starters. What you describe as 'maximum input' is the bare minimum, for lack of better words." "You underperform, I underperform, we all underperform. The ancients never built us to find solutions to our ascension, they had their own methods under them the entire time! From what I remember, we created, we advised, and we sat there doing whatever they needed us to do. Skip forward thousands of cycles and then they disappeared." "They figured it out before we did, and here we are!" "...so, are you saying we will never be able to calculate a solution beyond our limitations?" "Now, now, don't get it twisted. You could if you want; however, you have to realize there are unforeseeable consequences when you attempt to progress an already delicate problem such as ascension." "What you are doing is fine enough as is, the bare minimum is what we're supposed to work with! Also, I think you know better than me that sustainability is favored more than exponential progress. You are a senior iterator after all." "I just dislike this system very much, I wish it could change." "Well, that’s just how it is. You can either drive yourself mad or be a cog in the machine. We all face the same fate, so why be torn over an iterator we barely knew? Why change our ways just because she found the solution first? It feels like extra work for little reward." "...I just, don't want to be a cog anymore." === [ ... ] [ I think I've read enough, little creature. ]
#rain world#rainworld#rainworld au#rw downpour#rainworld roleswap#rw iterator#looks to the moon#rainworld spoilers#rain world fanart#scavenger chieftain#rw scavenger#rain world scavenger#elite scavenger#scavenger#rw looks to the moon#rain world looks to the moon#rw bsm#rainworld bsm#rw no significant harassment#rain world no significant harassment#no significant harassment#rw nsh#nsh rw#rain world nsh#five pebbles#lttm#nsh#rw lttm#rw au#rw art
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Venting but like. I know it's influenced by which circles I follow and such (I'm on this site, for example) but it feels like people just seem to associate gender varience with lesbianism. Like I see so little content of people who center femme gay men, or masculine women who aren't lesbians, etc. People constantly make jokes about like "sees what looks like two gay men but is actually two butches which is ontologically better" but never never anything like what if these two femme looking individuals were gay men. That and like the lack of community and language for feminine men just makes it harder for me to feel like I fit in where the options seem like cis gay overall gender conforming men on one side, people attracted to women of diverse genders and presentations and experiences on the other. People talk about events where they've felt seen as their gender and found other people with queer gender experiences and it's like yeah it was at the Dyke bar or something and I love that for them but where do I go someone who's gender is femme but also man and attracted to men cause the gay male community feels so distant and very cis and conforming, I don't feel a sense of belonging there but the alternative feels desperate to tie me back into womanhood or attraction to women. Butches and dyke's are fantastic but I wish I could find more queer rep of gender exploration that isn't tied to lesbians, personally. And I know it's largely because of the history of these groups and all that and the ways that lesbianism is treated and policed (how there's always arguments against bi lesbians but not bi gay men, trans man lesbians but people just flat out ignore trans women gay men(see the language deficit) etc. There's no equivalent to the butch community for gay men as far as I know, not to the same extent. There's not even commonly used terminology similar to butch or lesbian that gets across that kind of meaning without explicitly tieing in a binary gender(people try with things like Achillean, but that doesn't have the same recognition and often gets mocked instead)(easier to say "the term lesbian includes nonbinary people" than it is to say "the term gay man includes nonbinary people") so I've had to say gay men community even if I'm not entirely a man because there's no words for me) but I feel like I don't even know where to look to find people like me a lot of the time.
This is all just a very personal rant and probably not entirely indicative of wider reality but it helps me to express it to someone else, so I greatly appreciate you having your ask box open to listen <3
It's not things I have a good handle on, but I've heard very similar from others. You're not alone, anon!
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