#'that's the only thing of Bonnet's you want to get rid of?'

[izzy-b-hands]

gdocs has apparently decided it no longer wants profanity, and is suggesting the replacement of 'ship' for every time i use 'shit' in this draft (thus far only twice, but we're early on and no one's had reason to swear more yet lmao)

Which is whatever (horrifying and weird that a word processor is trying to keep me from swearing, not a thing I had on my Future Bullshit Bingo Card), but I don't know how it anticipates I'll be able to resolve their suggested version of the current line 'throwing Stede's ship (sp. shit) overboard'

Honestly, if they could manage to throw the ship overboard while being on it is a new fic idea in and of itself.

[shurisasthmaticgf]

the curls are curling: lando norris x black social media influencer fem! reader

summary: the secret behind why his curls have been consistently looking perfect is revealed.

authors note: i am still very new to formula one so please don't jump me if there is some slight inaccuracies. i did my best to look things up if i wasn't sure about them. this fic isn't based off of any grand prix in particular either. also, this is a work of fiction meaning it's not REAL so please remember that as well! constructive feedback is heavily encouraged and very appreciated 🫶🏽

heat pooled through the open windows of the house as you ran around to try and get yourself ready for the long day ahead. you woke up an hour ago to give yourself two hours to get ready because today was a race weekend. usually, you only needed about an hour to get you and your boyfriend out the door but today you'd gotten up earlier to film a vlog.

the whole social media influencer thing was still fairly new for you, only having started to consistently vlog and post a few months ago. before you'd started dating lando you were posting here and there about your day to day as a university student and intern for a large company in the city. every so often one of your videos got a couple hundred thousand views but you didn't really mind that your other content only got a few likes...that was just how tiktok's algorithm worked.

once you graduated from university and your internship ended you didn't have much to vlog about until you decided to film a race weekend and post it. what you didn't expect was the video to get millions of views and likes overnight. a massive influx of fans followed but you didn't really pay too much mind to the number, this was just something you liked to do and people also liked to watch. with time you ended up opening a youtube channel where you posted longer vlogs and other videos, and tiktok became a place where you posted 1-3 minute clips of your longer videos. one thing you never really did was center your entire vlog around your boyfriend. sure, lando was the entire reason you ended up at races but you were also your own person...that and lando was oddly camera shy when it came to your vlogs so he often wanted you to edit him out if he happened to end up in the frame.

which is how you ended up in your bedroom with your tripod pointed the camera directly at you. you smiled widely, hoping that it masked the fact that you were nearly half asleep, "good morning everyone! it's race day and i'm gonna be taking you along with me. everyone's been asking for a longer race day vlog so i'm here to give you all what you want. first lets get into the fit- these pajamas were sent to me from Brooks Avenue, if you like them you can use the code Y/N for a little discount on your purchase!" you backed up to show off your pink and green pajamas that would have definitely cost an arm an a leg if they hadn't come in a PR package. the matching pink and green satin bonnet on your head slowly slipped down your forehead leaving you to push it back up with an annoyed huff. you explained to the camera once more, "okay and first i'm gonna brush my teeth then do my skincare routine...he's in the shower right now so the lens might get fogged up, sorry in advance." you knocked on the bathroom door to let your boyfriend know you were coming in before pulling your skincare products out of your travel bag. quickly you brushed your teeth with until you felt like you'd gotten rid of every trace of morning breath.

just as you finished your skincare routine, the shower turned off and you slipped out of the bathroom. while lando finished in the bathroom you sat back down at the vanity and situated the camera back in front of you. slowly you slipped the bonnet from your head and untied the silk scarf under it, letting the large twists in your hair fall against your shoulders. to the camera you explained, "it's gonna be really hot today so i'm just gonna pull the twists back with a ribbon and call it a day i think." you pulled a jar of edge control and a brush from your bag and began styling your baby hairs, effortlessly into swirls and swoops. a laugh fell past your lips as you admitted, "honestly the only reason i still do this is so my forehead looks slightly less...megamind-esque in pictures." when you finished you tied another scarf messily around your hairline and began gathering your twists into a ponytail to secure it with a holder and ribbon.

the bathroom door opened and lando walked back into your room, fully dressed but his button down left wide open exposing his bare torso. in his hands he held a blow dryer and two bottles, one leave in conditioner and a gel you'd bought for him a few weeks ago. you finished tying the bow around your ponytail then took the two bottles from him and plugged the blow dryer into the wall. a hand gently pulled on your hand and you looked up to see sleepy smile grace his lips, "good morning, beautiful." you drew closer to him, wrapping your arms around his neck and letting him pull you in by the waist. his head nuzzled into your shoulder as your hand found the back of his head, stroking his hair softly with your fingers you murmured, "hi baby." you could feel the shy smile he wore against your shoulder until you pulled away from him. you pulled a robe from the back of the door and told him, "put this on." he knew most of the reason was so he didn't stain his shirt with hair products but another part of it had to be the fact that his shirt was wide open.

lando sat in front of the camera and you laughed at how awkward he looked compared to normal. you prompted, "baby, say hi to everyone. they ask for you all the time." he stiffly waved a hand in front of the camera and you sighed, "i don't know why you act so funny around my camera but everyone else it's fine." he mumbled a soft, "because it's you..." but only the mic on the camera caught it. he sat on the bench in front of you and slightly leaned back into your body before letting his eyes flutter shut.

meanwhile you showed the leave in conditioner to the camera, "this is the kinky curly knot today leave in-" despite his eyes being shut lando let out a small laugh and you asked, "what?" he mumbled cheekily, "kinky." you let out a exasperated sigh, "oh god you're like a child...anyways i was saying, i put a little of this in his hair but not too much just a tiny amount to add moisture." squeezing the leave in conditioner into your palm then applying it to his hair you hummed along to a sza song that ran through your head. the gentle work of your fingers running along his scalp nearly lulled lando back to sleep. you worked through his hair with a practiced ease, adding product and coaxing the curls atop his head to take perfect shape. not wanting to disturb his peace, you silently showed the matching brand's curling custard and then applied that lightly to his hair. once you'd finished you turned on the blow dryer, accidentally jump scaring your boyfriend under you. a soft melodic laugh fell past your lips and one hand fell to his shoulder before you leant down and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek, "my bad babe." the camera didn't miss the way he leaned into your touch, pushing his cheek closer to you with his shoulders dropping further in relaxation.

not even half an hour later you were done and the light brown curls on his head were perfectly defined. you wiped your hands on the hand towel you'd slung over your shoulder earlier and laughed when you realized your boyfriend literally fell asleep. you gently cupped under his chin and pressed another kiss to his cheek. just above a whisper you mumbled, "all done, bubs. " he opened his eyes and smiled while you mused, “my pretty boy.” his cheeks flushed slightly, “thank you” and you brushed a few curls into place before looking at his reflection, "of course." he stood up and pulled you out of the frame to gave you a quick kiss before going downstairs where you'd meet him when you finished getting dressed.

the white and navy blue floral sundress you wore was both nice and simple enough to wear for today. simple gold jewelry and a pair of white sandals finished off your look and you grabbed the camera to show your reflection in the full length mirror on the wall, "all dressed so i'm gonna go meet lando downstairs and i'll see you all a little bit later!" you stopped recording and went downstairs to find your boyfriend sitting and ready to go, his cheeks burning pink when he laid eyes on you. a subtle fluttering erupted in your stomach at the familiar gaze, the one that made you feel like the only girl in the world.

*extra*

you scrolled through your social media accounts, something you never really did if you didn't have to. the first thing that came to your attention was the flood of pictures and comments that were about your boyfriend's hair. for the past few races you'd been doing his hair and more and more fans were noticing it looked better than normal. honestly, you found it amusing that people were bringing it up and so much at that, so you decided to add to the conversation just a bit:

fans reactions to recent vlog upload:

[milfsloverblog]

Too Tired to Say My Name? (NSFW)

Jan Stevens x fem!reader

A/N: Nothing to see here, just a self indulgent fluffy/smutty Jan Stevens fic.

A phaser is an electronic sound processor (like a flanger but sounds different, and I just like the word phaser more). As always: fuck you Billy

tw: smut (fingering, scissoring)

“The phaser,” Jane sighed as she got in bed to lie down next to you.

How adorable she looked in that pink silk night dress with its matching bunny ears bonnet, perfectly contrasting with the black eyeshadow that was always packed around her eyes.

“What about the phaser, mh?” You asked, stretching your arm out so she could snuggle up and rest her head on your chest.

“It’s simply too loud. The whole integrity of the performance is shaken by it.” She sighed again. One loud, overdramatic sigh that could only mean one thing.

“I know, my darling. You’ve told Gemma about it already but you’ve seen how she reacts any time someone suggests a change in her art.” You looked down in time to catch Jan Stevens pouting and had to bite the inside of your cheeks to keep yourself from chuckling.

“She’s a bit self-absorbed, isn’t she? Shall I remind her that I’m the one funding all of her little experiments? I would appreciate it if she would at least listen to what I have to suggest.” The crease between your lover’s eyebrows deepened as she recalled her last conversation with the woman leading your collective.

“I know, doll, I know. I’ve tried suggesting it to her again, saying perhaps we could lower it down just a tad and see what it would sound like. She accused me of being a traitor and threw a bunch of vegetables at me.”

“Maybe you should consider slapping her.” Jan Stevens offered. “A quick slap always does the trick. It might shock her out of her entrenched arrogance.” She added with a small shrug as if she hadn’t just suggested you should hit your boss.

“You don’t know how angry she gets. I’d rather not start a fight…” Now it was your turn to sigh, you didn’t like saying no to Jan Stevens.

“Well, if you really can’t get her to get rid of the phaser, could you at least try lowering it during the next performance?” The blonde looked up, batting her eyelashes at you.

She could be exhausting sometimes, nagging and pestering until you gave up. And you always did.

“Will you do that for me, poppet?” Jan Stevens asked again, her big blue eyes filled with expectancy.

Would you do that for her? Betray your boss’ trust only to make Jan Stevens happy?

Jan saw your hesitation and she didn’t like it, not one bit. Her hand snaked under the bedsheets and you could only guess what she was doing when she slightly wiggled her hips and let out the faintest of moans.

“Don’t you da-“ Your threat was interrupted by her index and middle finger being pushed between your lips as they had been pushed inside her a few seconds before.

You closed your eyes and sucked on her digits, moaning when her intoxicating taste settled on your tongue.

You would do it, you thought, anything for Jan Stevens.

Your lover knew she’d won this one, flashing you a wide grin when she pulled her fingers out of your mouth with an audible pop.

“Good girl.” She purred and nuzzled her face in your neck, peppering your skin with kisses that you knew would leave smears of crimson lipstick which would be nearly impossible to wash off in the morning.

“This isn’t just about the phaser, right?” You asked, pulling away from the tall woman. “You’re not just using me to get rid of it?”

“You know it’s not just about that, it isn’t even about that at all.” Jan reassured you.

“So you would still allow me in your bed if we kept the phaser?” That wasn’t what you really wanted to ask. You wanted to know if this was only a fling, if she would kick you out once she would have had her fun with you.

“Of course. Even two phasers.” Jan's lips spread in a soft smile and her hand reached to gently squeeze yours. “Even when the residency is over, you will still be allowed in my bed. If that is something you would want.”

“Yes! God, yes, I would absolutely want that.” The words came out without you even thinking about them, your cheeks turning bright pink at the prospect that you had been too eager.

It warmed Jan Stevens’ heart to know that you were so keen to share her bed, and perhaps even more. She had felt awfully guilty at first, she didn’t want to be one of those people using their position to seduce someone. Little did she know you had been head over heels for her since the very first day.

“You are my solace, keeping me from the chaos of the world.” Jan Stevens whispered. It wasn’t quite an I love you, but it was close enough.

You had long seen the real Jan Stevens, the one she hid so well behind her eccentric facade. Jan was soft, incredibly so. She was scared about those incessant threatening phone calls, knowing one day or another these people would put their words into action. And she feared she wasn’t good enough, for anyone, that she would have to spend the rest of her life feeling lonely in her bedroom. Until you came into her life.

Your breath hitched in your chest when the woman’s hand wandered under the duvet and down your body, caressing each and every of your curves until it reached your inner thigh. Your legs spread almost instantly, eliciting a soft chuckle from your lover.

“Always so eager.” She purred, her lips against your ear.

And it was true. You were eager for her. For her fingers, her tongue, and lips. For her naked breasts pressed against yours.

Jan Stevens hooked her thumb in the band of your underwear and pushed it down your thighs, letting you maneuver it off your legs completely while she reached under your tank top to fondle your breasts.

You closed the distance between the two of you with an open-mouthed kiss, which Jan eagerly returned by pressing her tongue against yours.

Always so eager could apply to you too, my sweet Jan Stevens.

Her feathery-light touch was electrifying as she traced down your stomach only to stop right on your pubis. She nipped at your bottom lip, her fingers teasing the curls at the apex of your legs before they eventually moved lower, spreading your lips and drawing a lazy circle on your clit.

You pulled away to break the kiss, gasping at the touch before burying your face in your lover’s neck. “Darling, please…”

“Please, what?” Jan’s tone was heavy with desire, dripping with lust.

“I want you, I need you inside of me…” You looked up at her, your face flushed and lips slightly parted.

Jan Stevens let out a soft hum, her mouth watering when she dipped her fingers lower only to find you soaked already. Her middle and ring fingers slid into you like a hot knife through butter.

A wanton moan escaped you as you took in the feeling. It always amazed you, how long her fingers were and how deep she was able to reach inside you.

You hastily grabbed her face to pull her into another kiss, your movements turning sloppy as Jan’s fingers pumped in and out of you at a steady pace.

“A night with you is worth every single orgy I have ever partaken in.” Jan Stevens whispered when she broke the kiss, feeling your cunt clenching around her fingers at her admission.

“Keep going, please!” You whined, your mind filling with fog when she curled her fingers inside you and resumed moving harder and faster, making sure to hit your sweet spot with every thrust.

“Be a good girl and come for me.” Jan purred and sucked on your earlobe. And as if your body had been waiting for her permission, you were immediately thrown over the edge, clinging onto your lover as waves of pleasure surged through you.

Once you had loosened your hold on her, Jan Stevens carefully pulled her digits out of you and pushed them into your mouth so you would lick them clean.

She waited until you had come down from your high to pull you in another sloppy kiss.

“You taste heavenly tonight, sweetling.” She whispered, quickly moving to straddle you.

Your eyes widened when she gently pushed your thighs apart and positioned herself between them. You opened your mouth to speak but Jan’s naked core began firmly grinding against yours, pulling moans from both your and your lover’s throat. You arched your back as much as you could, your hips giving small thrusts to meet each of Jan’s movements.

The older woman quickened the pace, placing one hand on the headboard to support herself while the other one tightly held onto your thigh.

“Harder, please-“ You sounded desperate, both of your hands grabbing hold of your lover’s hips in an attempt to bring her closer.

Jan’s movements sped up again, this time more frantic and messier. Her moans mingled with yours as yet another orgasm crept up on you.

“Jan!” You gasped, nails digging into the woman’s hips as you reached your peak once more.

Jan Stevens followed right after, tossing her head back as she whimpered in pleasure.

She collapsed forward onto your chest and you lay together to catch your breath. How you loved feeling her weight on top of you.

“Well, darling,” Jan’s voice came out as gruff, “were you too tired to say my name?”

“You are insufferable, Jan Stevens.” You couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Is that why you keep coming back for more, poppet?” She asked looking up at you, her fingertips drawing patterns on your arm.

“Absolutely.” You smiled, pressing a soft kiss to your lover’s forehead.

That, and because I love you.

[brascu]

ok I can't believe Imma write a piece of OFMD meta without even getting to the end of the season.

I NEED to talk about Lucius and Izzy. like, a lot.

But before we get to the spoilers and stuff, I need to go back to first season. Be mindfull that I won't tell you again this is going to have spoilers from season 2, up to the 5ft episode.

It's safe to say that Izzy is Ed's right hand and Lucius is Stede's right hand. Or better saying, Lucius is the left hand.

Not only because Lucius is, indeed, left handed, but because the left side is associated with feelings.

Lucius is the one character to be wearing red from the begining of first season. He is feelings, he is the one who records Stede's thoughts and feelings. He is not "useful" in a practical way, he is simply the person who observes and helps people figure things out.

He is literally the first one to see that Ed and Stede are falling in love.

I mean, there is a second guy who notices, but can't understand what is happening. Izzy.

Izzy is Ed's right hand. He is the one who taught Ed what he knows, he is the one who kills people for Ed, he is the one who guarantees things are going acording to plans. He is practical. He doesn't have time for feelings and romance.

Izzy wears black clothes all the way. He is in no way in contact with his feelings.

And from start he thinks he is better than Lucius, but yet we see Lucius owning him in first season. We see Izzy showing his queerness in a very uncomfortable way to him in his "ohh, daddy" scene. (god, I love that moment)

Izzy sees Ed falling in love with Stede, but only sees a problem. A rock on the way of their sucess. Feelings are useless.

Lucius sees them falling in love and gets the role of a wingman or something. He helps them out.

And Lucius is protective of Stede in regards to Ed, we see it on Calico Jack's episode and more recently when he seats down with Stede in Zheng Yi Sao's boat and tells him to be mindfull of the cruel shit his boo has been doing. He is somewhat afraid Blackbeard will hurt his friend.

Just like Izzy was afraid Stede was going to ruin his Blackbeard.

In season one, Izzy simply wants to separate them. He wants Ed all to himself. He hates Stede.

In season one, Lucius was a bit afraid of Ed at the beginning, but learned how to deal with him and appreciate him. When Ed looses Stede, Lucius is there to help him.

There is a reason he calls for Lucius while at the blanket fort. Lucius is emotion, is feelings. Lucius is able to help him in a way Izzy would never be able.

Ed gets out of his cacoon, fully in red, and sings his feelings out.

Izzy freaks out an threatens Ed. Izzy gets Ed scared. Scared Ed gets rid of his feelings for Bonnet, he gets rid of Lucius, the feelings.

And the Kraken spiraling he gets into hurts both right and left hand.

At first, Izzy thinks he got what he wanted. At first, Lucius thinks he is dead.

And both get ruined.

Ed, without his feelings being heard by himself, proceeds to destroy himself. Which, of course, includes destroying his right hand.

He hates himself and he needs the others to hate himself. He tortures and hurt Izzy too many times. To the point where Izzy, the one "without feelings" is whining on Fang's lap, scared like a little puppy. Dirty, scared, powerless.

We understand from what's been shown that the rest of the crew supported him, and that's probably where he started thinking about going against Ed's madness. Not for himself, but for the crew. Izzy learned to care.

Lucius, on the other hand, was alone. He went through hell without a friend. He had to tough it up to survive and he is fucking damaged.

He lost hope and trust and he is bitter as fuck, just like Izzy used to be.

Lucius starts this season hating on Stede and Ed. He blames them for the things he went through, and he has right to do so.

He thinks, just like Izzy used to think, that Stede caused Ed's madness.

For Izzy, Stede made Ed weak. For Lucius, Stede made Ed unhinged.

And while in season one we have Izzy getting mad that Stede and Ed are hanging out, Lucius this time is outraged. How could my bestfriend replace me with some sissy? How can my captain wellcome back this guy who almost killed us all?

Both Lucius and Izzy dress a bit diferently this season.

The red is gone. Lucius wears basic clothes, not colorfull at all, as if he doesn't want to get attention. He wants to blend in to the back.

Izzy has gold now, on his unicorn gold leg.

Both almost died from infections "caused" by Ed.

Lucius is bitten by Buttons after Ed scared them with his theatre, the one he was showing to entertain Stede. Izzy gets shot by the Kraken after he dared to mention Stede's name.

Lucius loses his finger, which makes it a bit more dificult for him to write, for him to keep doing what he was doing.

Izzy loses his leg, which makes it a lot more difficult for him to fight with a sword.

And although they still can do those things, they're not that needed anymore.

Lucius doesn't write Stede's diary anymore. We've seen Stede writing by himself, which lead me to think he doesn't need Lucius that much with understanding his own feelings as well.

Izzy is not Ed's right hand anymore. He is still somewhat of a first mate, he helps the captain, but in a different way. He teaches Stede things, but he still haven gotten to actually doing things for him on screem. We had someone trying to hurt Stede twice and Stede saved himself before Izzy even got his sword out.

Izzy is learning to admire Stede's way. He felt what Stede's absence did to his friend, to the crew and to himself. He is learnng to talk it through.

Lucius is still bitter. Lucius is obsessed with Ed, but he has help from someone that was hurt in a similar way.

Izzy, the practical, is helping Lucius, the emotional, to deal with his trauma.

They are getting closer, just like their captains, in a new way.

The scene with the little shark absolutely broke me. Izzy made him an artpiece. This is the first time we see him doing something artistic, and he gives it to Lucius. He gives emotion back to Lucius.

I can't wait to see where they go.

[cocoatonedcurls]

curly hair 101

hii :))

since "curls" is literally in my username, its only natural that I post about something for the curly girls :D

so why not start with a beginner's guide to curly hair :)

·°●·°●·°●·°●·°●·°●·°●·°●·°●·°●·°●·°●·°●·°●·°●·°●·°●

in this guide

hair types/ curl patterns

wash day routine + products

regular hair care

hair styles + cuts

hair types

soo first of all i think its helpful if you get a gist of what hair type you have, e.g 2c, 3b, 4b etc...

its not mandatory and doesn't really mean anything but like it definitely aids when you're looking for haircair & inspo with hairstyles and haircuts and all that jazz 🤗 [ <- jazz hands :) ]

here's a chart to help you

obviously do some of your own research if you're unsure- this isn't very in-depth and doesn't use irl examples

also keep in mind that you can have multiple, and a wide range of types on one head LOLL like mine ranges from 2C -> 3C 🫣

(PS: this guide will be tailored to type 2 -> 3 hair just because that's what I have experience with and don't want to potentially ruin anyone's type 4 hair 😭 but if aspects of this apply then feel free to apply them 😇)

wash day routine + products

alrighty so i see some overcomplication/people being scared of curly hair washing- like looking at porosity and whatnot but IMO its really not that difficult

the only thing you really need to worry about for the washing aspect is getting moisturising (curly recommended) shampoo & conditioner, just cause if you don't it could dry out your hair and have a pretty dodgy finished product 😬 (I use Umberto Giannini for this)

washing is pretty standard:

wet your hair thoroughly, so that no part is dry

shampoo round 1, make sure to scrub thoroughly to get rid of any dirt and grime 🙈

rinse

shampoo round 2, this should turn your hair into its own bubble bath 🫧

rinse

condition, rake through your hair and make sure it is everywhere

let sit for a little bit, ~2 mins maybe

rinse

and thats it :))

don't use a regular towel, use a microfiber towel if you're using one at all so that all the moisture isn't drained from your hair before the rest of the products

now for the curly hair routine:

start with leave-in conditioner and run it through the entirety of your hair - I use Garnier leave-in, like the big tub

then run some curl cream through your hair and scrunch it in, make sure there is an even application throughout all the hair - I use the Shea Moisture curl cream

~ this next bit is optional because its a gel cast + styling but honestly id totally recommend going the extra mile for it cause it holds your curls for longer and makes ur hair softer ~

apply curly gel to your hair and scrunch it in, I use Aussie curl gel

for styling, I take the middle -> top sections of my hair, take some extra gel and finger coil the curls

let your hair air dry or diffuse

once completely dry, take some hair oil and scrunch it through your hair and separate any coils, I use argan oil

then you're done :))

regular hair care

there isnt really much to say here tbh

only that

if you need to refresh your curls, you should be able to do it just by finger-coiling with water

DON'T brush your hair while dry, it causes breakage

if you sweat, your hair will most likely get frizzy

to tie your hair use a scrunchie

sleeping with a bonnet helps reduce frizz but icl I don't 🫣

hair styles + cuts

okay let me preface this section by saying PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEEE do some research about curly stylists in your area, I promise it will be worth it because curly hair cutting requires special training (despite the fact we've probably all cut our hair ourselves at some point 🙈)

now here are some things I usually ask for in a haircut:

a trim off the edges to keep my hair healthy (I have hair down past my shoulders)

2 or 3 layers to keep volume around my head so it doesn't look like a flat landslide...

some long bangs at the front to frame my face

obviously thats just me so do some extra research and see what you'd like

not much, but here are some hairstyles i usually do for everyday wear:

hair down (obviously 🤗)

high ponytail/bun with a few curls at the front

half up half down with a few curls at the front

thats basically all the basics 🙃

i know its hard to start on a curly hair journey especially if you don't know what you're doing, so if you are (or aren't) i hope this was able to help you in some shape or form 🫶🤗

- li ���

[batsyforyou]

Caranthir Sleep Headcanons

Pairing: Caranthir x reader

Warnings: None

Author’s Note: Another one for the Blanket Series! I hope y’all enjoy! 

Cara is a grumpy baby 🥺

He hates going to bed not only because of his tendency to overwork himself but also because of what he has to do to get ready for bed. 

And will start finding ways to avoid sleep because of it. 

He is one of the few elves who designs and wears his own sleep mask 

He is too embarrassed to show it let alone tell you but he honestly cares more about your sleep than you do.

Always felt guilty when you told him that his open eyed stare sometimes bothered you when he napped.

So when y’all got married and started sharing the same bed he took precautions.

And to avoid risking your sleep quality he put his hair into one of those hair bonnets.

That paired with his sleep mask completely covers any possible elf light issues. 

And any possible creepy staring

He completely changes the way he sleeps but he’d die before he admits it. 

If you ask him if he always slept with those two items he’ll huff at you and say “Of course I have! Not everything I do revolves around you.” 

But it does.

He honestly hates the bonnet and sleep mask though. 

His PTSD and paranoia rear their ugly head and he’s in a constant state of tension until he falls asleep. Every single muscle is pulled taunt. 

Behind his mask he is staring with an open eyed stare of fear and anxiety, eyes constantly moving. And he’s straining his ears to listen for any possible intruders. 

And as a consequence he doesn’t always make the best pillow.

Most of the time he falls to sleep by fixating on your breathing and heartbeat. 

The bonnet and mask bother his ears and it will drive him nuts till morning when he can finally take them off and just scratch at his scalp and rub his ears to make them feel better. 

Of course he’ll only do those things if you’ve left the room to change. 

The bonnet and mask leave marks on his ears and parts of his face and just pull on them. 

Is not an earlier riser when your with him 

Normally if your gone for a trip he wakes up and gets up early to work 

But when you're with him he takes every moment he can with you.

Him hating the bonnet/mask and avoiding going to sleep will sometimes lead into arguments between the two of you. 

Mainly because you assume he’s working himself to death and get angry at him when he avoids sleeping both for his health and because you sometimes feel like he’s avoiding you. And that he maybe hates sharing your bed. 

Which couldn’t be further from the truth! He just doesn’t want to admit to anything. 

Eventually through many arguments and having Maedhros or Maglor come mediate for the two you helps a lot. 

And when you discover what he’s been doing for you, you feel both flattered, frustrated and loved. 

You have him get rid of the bonnet/mask and instead of him wearing the mask you sometimes wear it. 

And before bed you’ll kiss his ears 

He will die before he admits it but he absolutely melts when you do. 

He loves you very very much. 

He doesn’t move around alot and loves having you in his arms.

The only ways he won’t cuddle you is if you are the big spoon or if you lay on top of him while he sleeps on his stomach. He’ll accept you laying on his chest but something about his back itches his brain and freaks him out a little. 

He doesn’t have nightmares often but when he does he won’t look for comfort in the beginning. 

He’ll register that it was just a dream. Get up and look around, checking windows and doors to make sure everything is locked. 

And once he is sure everything is alright he goes back to bed and looks for comfort in your arms.

Cara is a 10/10 sleepy buddy.

Masterlist

[daphnedauphinoise]

how do you care for your hair when you use heat on it? Like what steps/routine do you follow? Not necessarily products (although they're very welcome). It's hard to know what's good and what's not since your hairdresser, just like influencers, are most likely selling you something.

I changed my haircut recently and started using heat (it's kinda curly so I straighten it and then try to curl it a little) and it really changed me and got told so much that I had a glow up, so I think that's my best look and will try to keep doing it since it looks great on on me but I want my hair to be and stay healthy so that's why I'm asking you.

Thank you for this question, I loved digging through to make this post x

I am going to talk about prevention and solutions so you can fully protect your hair. Starting with protection, and I have to say it, don't use heat regularly. Ideally you would take a minimum of three/four day break between each use of heat and this is only if your hair is healthy. If the condition of your hair is not that healthy then I would suggest going even longer (once a week, every other wash etc) between each use. To further reduce how much heat you are using, I would reccomend not using heat to curl your hair. You can easily do heatless curls and because they have been so popular, you can find easy tutorials anywhere. You can use a bonnet/ protective hair styles to keep your hairstyle for longer to widen the gap between each heat usage.

Futhermore, I would look into learning how to refresh your style so you are not having to consistenly go back and redo your hair.

You said that you straigthen your hair more so I am presuming you are using iron for that. If you are, use heat protectant made for heating irons as they can differ from standard heat protectants.

Proper use of heat protectant:

Spray the heat protectant in sections. A lot of people just spritz heat protectant on the hair that is on the top and the whole section underneath has not been protected.

You can also spray teh heat protectant on your hairbrush and brush your hair with that. Make sure to cover your entire head, I find it works better to do this just before the section you are applying heat to.

For further scientific details here is a post by a chemist that I follow on the scienece of heat protection.

I would also invest in some split end serum/ smoothing serum to help nourish the ends of your hair and help prevent breakage. I highly reccomend the Kérastase Nutritive Nutri-Supplement Split Ends Serum. I have been using for a while and it has made my ends so much smoother and less frizzy looking. This is more preventative and it saves the tears of realising that the only thing that will save your hair is a big chop.

Aftercare

You need to make sure that you are getting rid of all the product build up in your hair and making sure it is clean. I would use a clarifying shampoo every second/third wash, depending on how much product you use and whether you live in a city etc... I find that using it every 4-5 washes works for me but that is because I barely use any product on my hair.

When it comes to coniditioning, there are two types: protein and moisturizing. A good routine has both but how much will depend on the porosity of your hair. Protien hair masks help with elasticity, whereas moisturising masks help with length and shine.

I have seen chemists and hair care specialists reccomend fully deeply conditioning your hair before heat styling and for that a good moisturizing mask would do the trick. After this the general rules of hair care apply.

(further links)

How to know if your hair needs protein or moisture?

Testing the porosity of your hair

Daphne

[chuplayswithfire]

One of my favorite things about the toe scene is what the show is saying about an Izzy win. Because the toe scene is Izzy winning and getting what he wants at detriment to everyone around him, including himself (how'd that toe taste buddy).

Izzy spends the entire show hating softness of any kind, hating openness, hating people who question his unearned authority (Stede, Lucius) or people who question at all (Fang) or people who make light of him strict authoritative bullshit (Wee John, Lucius) and uses violence to try and enforce his will and his way of seeing the world (his interactions with all of the above, and also calling the Navy because he's furious "(Stede's) done something to (his) boss's brain" as well as telling Ed he should have been killed by the English rather than grow into a person who think about quitting piracy and enjoy wearing a silk robe and openly express his sorrow.

Izzy rejects softness, rejects change to the traditionally abusive structures of piracy, and is thoroughly furious that getting rid of Stede Bonnet did not transform Ed back into the man he wants Ed to be. When he confronts Ed in episode 10, he focuses on tearing down who Ed has become and what he wants to do in growing into that person - tells Ed that he should have been murdered, that Izzy should have let him be murdered (which cough confirms that Izzy knew the English wanted Ed dead while he was working with them and instead dealt to have a different punishment cough the custody of captain Hands cough), demeans Ed as a namby-pamby pining for his boyfriend, and only reacts positively when Ed shoves him against a wall with a hand to his throat and demands that he "watch (his) tongue, dog".

There he is, Izzy says affirmatively.

And then he claims Blackbeard as his captain and rejects Edward. Rejects the idea of Ed being Edward to his crew, rejects the idea of Ed being open, soft, or engaging in comradery with the crew. Edward better watch his step, he says, moments after saying Ed deserves death and should have been murdered.

It's not a weak or vague threat to say someone should watch their step right after stating that you, the person issuing the threat, should have let them be killed.

Izzy clearly states here that he wants Blackbeard to be his captain. That Ed and everything that encompasses Izzy's idea view of who Ed is should be killed and has no value. Izzy wants the Blackbeard of legend and books and the old days.

The Blackbeard of the old days, episode 9 tells us, cuts toes off and makes their owners eat them for a laugh. Blackbeard kills whole crews, steals ships, and considers it the usual.

Izzy gets what he wants when Ed cuts his toe off, because Ed is living down to Izzy's perception of who he is (which is also Ed's nightmare, because a big chunk of Izzy's purpose in the narrative IS vocalizing and embodying all of Ed's worst fears in the same way the Badminton's do for Stede), and in doing so gives Izzy victory. Izzy wins here, because Ed is acting like the Blackbeard Izzy desires - cutting off toes, killing crews, and as a bonus, getting rid of all the stuff that contributed to Stede's "gross misuse of space" in the captain's quarters.

But it's hollow.

Ed is actually sobbing in his empty quarters, Jim is waking up pissed in captivity, Stede is alive and well and rescuing his crew and Lucius is in the walls and Izzy is still down a toe. Izzy won and got everything he wanted, the Revenge is a goth emo ship of grim darkness, and the show is telling us how its all going to fall apart around him.

[whitegoldtower]

Ok I’m dropping my haircare routine because I’ve finally unlocked the secrets

Wash hair 3 times a week, and oil it on the days between. When you oil it, use indian amla oil - it’s cheap as hell, smells great and is literally 🤌🏻 the formula 🤌🏻 to silky and glossy hair. Put it in your hair at night, cover with a silk scarf/bonnet and let that shit marinate.

When you wash it out on a wash day, use bedhead resurrection shampoo and shampoo it TWICE under lukewarm water. Do NOT shampoo the ends of your hair. Just the roots.

Instead of conditioner, I use the pantene keratin reconstruction mask - squeeze the water out of your hair and shove the mask on the ends. Again: let that shit marinate for 5 mins.

Wash it out under water as cold as you can handle. When you’re done, your hair should feel like wet seaweed.

Squeeze the water out. Do not rub your hair with a towel unless you actually want breakage and DONT BRUSH YOUR HAIR WHEN IT IS WET!!!!

Either let your hair dry naturally or if you absolutely have to use a hair dryer, use it on the cold setting. Avoid heat-styling your hair as much as possible.

You can use a single pump of anti-frizz stuff before drying if you also have frizzy hair like me - I use the frizz-ease silk serum by John Frieda when I have to blow dry it.

Once dry, apply a small amount of argan oil to the lengths of your hair.

The key is to oil regularly, and to stay away from heat, whether that’s hot air or hot water because it will strip the natural oils from your hair.

Finally, I only brush my hair with either a comb or a natural bristle brush. Brush from the ends upwards, don’t start at the top or you’ll rip your hair out and create more knots.

Do this for a week or two and thank me later when your hair shines like glass. 💅

The best thing about this is that it’s cheap as shit. No fancy stuff. You can get silk bonnets / scarves / pillowcases from ebay for less than a tenner. All in all, my haircare routine costs less than £30. You’ll save a lot of money, especially if you cut your hair yourself or get someone you trust to do it for you - I literally just cut it straight across at the back every month to get rid of any dead ends.

[finethingswellworn]

Stede's arc is hitting me so hard.

Because of course. Of fucking course this would happen. It was almost inevitable and the inevitability is crushing me.



Stede has spent his whole life being mocked for being soft or being written off completely. Never, not once, before he found his crew and Ed, did he receive love, care, or validation from anyone.

We see in Stede's perfect fantasy dream at the beginning of the season what he thinks he needs to do to win Ed's heart, to be a "man." That being your typical macho dudebro shit. Vanquishing Izzy, fighting, impressing Ed with his newfound pirate skills.

Then, he actually manages to get Ed back and he thinks the way to keep him is to be someone he isn't, really, because he still, after all this time, doesn't realize that Ed wants him as he is. Soft, kind, gentle.

As Ed says, Stede appeared to Ed as a sparkly fucking merperson and it was that Stede who saved Ed's life. Not as some great champion but as a weird, ethereal creature of the fucking deep. If Ed wanted someone to fight for him, he could have had his choice years and years and years ago.

But father Bonnet's words are still ringing in Stede's ears, even now. "Soft-handed, lily-livered little rich boy." So when Ed and his crew are threatened, Stede finally has the chance to do something about it. He kills Ned.

Just like when he got rid of Nigel, he's rewarded for it. Except, this time, it's not only by his crew. It's by the whole pirate community. A community that had once laughed at him, thrown drinks on him, humiliated him in every possible way. A community that he'd wanted so desperately to impress for so long.

It might be simple to say that Stede did all this just to impress Ed, and that's certainly a factor in it, but it goes a waaaaay deeper than that. There's a huge part of Stede that wants this, wants to be feared and respected, admired and valued in the way that Blackbeard used to be. He's said it from the first: "If I could only be... like Blackbeard... I'd give all of this away." It's a not-so-secret craving of his, the craving of a man who has been systematically disrespected and ignored his entire life.

"NOTICE ME!"

"SEE ME!"

"Can't YOU TELL I'M DIFFERENT NOW, (even if I've turned my back on everything I am, wrecked all my previous relationships to chase after this new, shiny thing,) SO FINALLY YOU'LL WANT ME, YOU'LL LET ME INTO YOUR CIRCLE."

And they do, for a time. The other pirates actually fucking do.

Oh, the thrill. Oh, the exhilaration. The wave of euphoria of that... it's like a drug. It sweeps everything else aside, everyone else who might love you enough to tell you this isn't who you are or what you should be doing. It whispers sweet, sweet nothings in your ear. Makes you act like a total jackass and everybody's loving it, loving you.

You start thinking: "I can do this. I can really do this. This is the new me. I don't have to be my lame old self who people have always looked down on in disgust or pity or both anymore. What a relief! I can be this cool guy who everyone likes."

Stede doesn't understand that he's doing the exact same thing Ed did with Calico Jack. No, the thrill is too overwhelming for that. He doesn't understand that, if Ed had bothered to stick around longer to talk, he probably would have said: "I don't like who you are around these guys."

It's not that Ed doesn't want Stede to be successful, it's that he doesn't want it like this. He doesn't want to be a pirate at all. He wants to do something simple like run an inn. But Stede's still too high on that recently acquired infamy and validation to notice Ed's discomfort with the situation. Or his own.

Until, all at once, he's in way over his head. He realizes, "Oh shit, I can't do this." He's beaten and battered, rendered pathetic yet again, and the only people who still care for him are the people he started out with. His crew, begging him to plead mercy. Because everyone else has died or left him as soon as he wasn't the toughest one in the room.

And here we leave him, having made a laundry list of mistakes, with everything up in flames and Ed gone. A new low. A hard lesson. But a necessary one.

This fucking show!

[iris-writesx]

spineless in my tomb of silence | stede x izzy

read it here, or read it on ao3 <3

so… i don’t really know what this is. originally it was just supposed to be about izzy slaying at music but then my obsession with stizzy kicked in and here you go LMFAO. i love love LOVE their dynamic, and i love dipping into izzy’s character because he’s so complex and interesting to write.

thank you, as well, to everyone who’s been reading and liking my work so far! it means a lot.

title is from “the great war” by taylor swift x

2.2k words �� hurt-comfort, izzy having self worth issues, post canon (technically)

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

The raid was Stede’s idea to begin with.

Izzy for the life of him couldn’t understand why he wanted to. Sure, he had been helping the Captain — the completely useless Captain, mind you — grow his piracy skills for a good few weeks now, and whilst he had grown decent at swordplay and okay-ish at hand-to-hand combat — Izzy had to force Stede to even attempt to hit him — he didn’t see why the raid was important.

The crew were all weary. The last raid they had been on as a product of Stede’s eagerness had ended in them all thinking his new coat was cursed.

Izzy didn’t believe in curses, of course. It was folklore, stories made up to scare children into behaving.

But if curses did exist — not that he believed it, but if they did — he would assume that the only cursed thing on The Revenge was himself.

It had just been one bad thing after another. Being invisible to Blackbeard- Ed, getting completely overtaken by Stede, losing his dignity, losing his leg. He supposed that it was all his fault, really. He shouldn’t have fed Edward’s darkness like that, he should have been… better. For him.

But Izzy didn’t care. Of course he didn’t. He just swallowed through the lump in his throat — the one he could never completely swallow down, nor get rid of — and carried on.

He certainly didn’t care about Stede and his fucking antics.

This fucking raid.

“Izzy!” He heard Stede yell from wherever he had ran off to on the ship they were boarding. “Come help me grab some of this loot- ooh, a vase!”

Why hadn’t he killed that twat when he had the chance?

—

There hadn’t been much of value on the ship to begin with. Their crew had been passive, surrendering before anybody had a chance to even draw their swords, and whilst it wasn’t quite the thrill that Stede had been searching for, he’d been happy enough to nick whatever he wanted from the vessel.

Which, it turned out, wasn’t even a lot anyways. After Izzy had forbidden him from taking their books — “Why not?” “Because The Revenge is not a fucking library, Bonnet.” — all he had taken was some silverware, any money that had been left lying around, and a guitar.

Izzy had insisted that they didn’t need it, there were plenty of instruments — albeit mostly in shambles — in the rec room, but he refused to let go of it as he boarded back onto The Revenge.

“It’s just taking up unnecessary space,” Izzy had rolled his eyes as he followed Stede onto the ship, his pace unable to match Stede’s with his fucking prosthetic. “Bonnet-”

“Izzy, hey,” Edward had caught his shoulder, holding him in place. Where Izzy would’ve naturally bit out at anybody who touched him to let go, he kept his mouth shut. It was Ed. “Let him have his fun, man.”

So Izzy had done just that. Let Stede have his fucking fun. Sod it that he was the one who was supposed to be showing Stede the ropes, now he was supposed to just let him do whatever he wanted? Keep a useless fucking guitar?

God, sometimes he wanted to retire.

Stede couldn’t even play. Izzy knew this, because the next time he had found himself in the Captain’s quarters, the guitar had been stood next to one of the many display cases in the room, just to be admired.

The body of the Baroque was painted black, with intricate little details chipped into the wood that he hadn’t noticed until then. Izzy didn’t know why the thing irritated him so much, but it did.

He wanted to throw it overboard.

“She’s a beauty, isn’t she?” Stede commented, having caught Izzy staring. “I was right to keep her. Not many men can appreciate the fine things in life, especially one like this bor- oh what’s the word-”

“Baroque.” Izzy murmured without thinking, and then Stede’s eyes were on him, wide and shocked. Like he hadn’t expected Izzy to have any knowledge of one of the fine things in life. Of course, Izzy had almost forgotten that he knew. It had been a few lifetimes ago, now, that he could picture himself sat on the porch of his family’s crooked little house. His fingers pressing into the strings of the Baroque as his mother showed him-

He could practically feel the ring against his throat burning. He wanted to break the guitar. He wanted to throw up.

“Yes, baroque,” Stede nodded slowly, his scrutinizing look fading slowly as his thoughts appeared to clear up, remembering what was more important at hand. “Anyways, what did you need me for, Izzy?”

—

The guitar had sat untouched for four days, and Izzy felt like his skin was crawling.

It was stupid, so incredibly so, that an object held so much over his head — Maybe, he thought, I’m not the only cursed thing on the ship anymore — but it was all he could think about when he had no more work for the day. When the rest of the crew was sat eating dinner, chatting away, Izzy’s mind wandered to that fucking guitar. Well, more specifically the memories he was associating with it — the memories that he had buried so deep down that he had forgotten they had even been there in the first place.

It didn’t help that Stede kept bragging about it. Even Edward had mentioned how nice the guitar looked, and what the fuck did he know?

It shouldn’t have been stressing him out so much. The fact that it was left him even more stressed.

And by the fourth day, he couldn’t fucking take it anymore.

He had waited until both Stede and Ed were on deck, and before either of them could see him he slipped away beneath deck as gracefully as he could with a wooden prosthetic attached to his leg. The door was unlocked, and Izzy reminded himself to add security to the list of things that he was teaching Stede. Even if the door had been locked, though, Izzy had picked enough locks in his time that he could do it blindfolded. It was just lucky for him that Stede was so useless sometimes.

What Ed saw in him sometimes he didn’t know… or that was what he told himself. Because he did know. He tried very very hard not to, but he did.

He pushed the door closed behind him and crossed the room, over towards it. Izzy hated the way his hand trembled slightly as he reached for it, lifting the guitar by the neck, and the ring around his neck — his mother’s ring — felt like it was burning again as he shuffled backwards to sit on the edge of the sofa. The curve of the guitar sat perfectly against his thigh, the fretboard easily resting against his hand.

Izzy’s throat felt thick, the ghost of his mother’s hands gliding over his, guiding him where to go, just like she had done when he was a child.

It took some minutes of fumbling before he fell into the groove of it. He hadn’t touched a guitar in years, hadn’t played in even longer. He used to know more, he used to be better, but as his fingers slid up the fretboard, his other hand plucking at the strings, it felt almost… natural. It felt good.

He felt good.

There had been a handful of songs that his mother had taught him, back then. Back when he was still pure, when he wasn’t cursed. As the cave inside of him opened more and more, light seeping into the depths and allowing him to see further, he could remember that his mother was a beautiful singer. That she would show him songs and sing them, and how he had ever forgotten those moments was a curse within itself.

Of course, it had been so long, and he hadn’t thought about it in so long, that he couldn’t really remember those songs. But he did start singing. Softly, under his breath, as his fingers strummed at the strings. It was just an old sea shanty, one that Ed was particularly fond of. His usually gruff voice felt soft. Words that usually had so much venom beneath them when they were spat out held gentleness, instead. It was a foreign feeling, after being cold for so long. After not letting himself have it. But warmth was nice.

He deserved it, didn’t he? Even after all that he had done?

Boots were knocking against the wooden floor, and the moment was shattered so quickly Izzy could question if it had ever even been there in the first place.

In the moment between the noise and looking up to see who had walked into the room, in that fraction of a moment, Izzy found himself wishing it was Ed. Maybe Ed would recognise the song, maybe he’d be, well, impressed.

He could only hope.

But Izzy looked up, and of course it wasn’t Ed. Why would the universe be that kind to him?

“Izzy,” Stede breathed out, and he grit his teeth, preparing for the lecture about touching his guitar. But the lecture never came. Instead, he just continued to stare. “I didn’t know you could play, and your voice. Of course, I thought on Calypso’s birthday you’d just gotten a little, y’know, wasted. But that was great.”

Izzy’s skin was itching again. Stede was staring at him so… so fiercely that it actually felt like he was seeing him. It felt odd, it felt different, and he didn’t like it.

Where did he go from here? There was no point in lying about what he had been doing. Of course, he could just be cold and blow Stede off, but… Izzy had never let anybody see that side of himself. Not even Ed, and he had known him for decades. What Stede had seen was personal.

…of fucking course it was Stede.

Izzy clenched his jaw, and although his body was screaming at him to accept the warmth, to step into it instead of away from it for once, he stood and walked to put the guitar back where it belonged. “You need to start locking your door, Bonnet.”

When Izzy turned back to see Stede he looked almost disappointed. “Izzy-”

“What?” He spat, face screwing into a glare. A defence.

Undeserving. Unworthy. Not meant for him.

“That really was beautiful,” Stede edged closer, and whilst Izzy stiffened, he stayed where he was. “Why did you never mention that you could play? Frenchie plays all the time!”

“It’s not f-” his voice shook and he quickly inhaled, fingers screwing into fists at his sides. “It’s not fucking important.”

“Of course it’s important! It’s art! One of the f-”

“One of the finer things in life, I know,” Izzy bit out, and although his tone was cold, Stede smiled. “It doesn’t matter, Stede.”

Stede was edging closer again, and although everything in Izzy was screaming to not accept the kindness, he froze when Stede reached forwards to wrap his fingers around his wrist. They were so warm and so gentle that Izzy, for a brief moment, wanted to feel more. The warmth — the warmth he never allowed himself to have — felt so nice. Stede was holding his wrist and smiling at him and he liked his playing and- fuck, Izzy thought he might just drop dead there and then.

“I think it matters.” Stede urged, his voice softer within their lessened proximity, but still just as genuine.

Maybe he really did mean it.

Izzy swallowed, thickly, trying to shove the lump down again.

It wasn’t going anywhere.

“…fuck off, Bonnet.” His words were whispered, the venom behind them dissipating into nothing, and Stede just smiled again.

How had he managed to make him so helpless? What did that mean?

“You’re welcome to use it any time you’d like,” Stede finally let go of his wrist, and Izzy could breathe a little easier. “The guitar. I certainly won’t use it, so somebody should.”

Izzy opened his mouth to protest, to tell Stede where he could shove his guitar and where he could go, but no sound came out. His mouth closed, and he simply nodded.

“Was there anything else you wanted me for this evening, Israel?”

That certainly was a loaded question after everything that had just happened, and on top of everything else if he let himself spiral over his thoughts for Stede he might just die, so Izzy shook his head, still unable to find his voice again.

“Alright, then. Goodnight Izzy.” If the fingers around his wrist had been bad, then Stede leaning in to kiss his cheek caused hell to freeze over. Izzy stiffened, face flaming, and after a moment of staring at Stede he choked out his own goodnight before he made a beeline for the door, slammed it shut behind him.

His breathing was quick and deep as he pressed his back to the door, and with his cheek still burning with the memory of Stede’s lips, Izzy knew deep down that it had been nice.

But even if it was nice, did he deserve it?

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

comments would mean the world <3 requests are open!

[legendarymentalityphilosopher]

Reps

Remember the scene in The Princess Bride when Westley is explaining how he is the Dread Pirate Roberts? Westley says: 

“…he told me a secret. ‘I’m not the Dread Pirate Roberts’, he said. ‘My name is Ryan. I inherited this ship from the previous Dread Pirate Roberts. Just as you will inherit it from me. The man I inherited it from was not the real Dread Pirate Roberts either…The real Dread Pirate Roberts has been retired 15 years and living like a king in Patagonia’. Then he explained that the name was the important thing for inspiring the necessary fear”

Ed promised Izzy he could be the new Blackbeard and things did not go as planned...

gif @mikimeiko

Do You Work For Blackbeard?

In Episode 4 “Discomfort in a Married State” we see Edward talk with Izzy about the idea of retiring and stolen identities. He hints that the crew would need a new captain and Izzy looks like he is about to burst into sunshine & confetti at the idea of being in charge.

Since that promise was planted in that tiny man’s head, Izzy has been eagerly awaiting Stede’s death because it would mean Izzy would get to rise to power. And that is very important to him. 

This comes to a head in Episode 6 “The Art of Fuckery” when Ed is confronted and encouraged to end Stede’s life. Someone else (I can’t find the post, sorry! If you know it, please send a link) wrote beautifully about how Blackbeard telling Stede “This is what it’s like to be Blackbeard” was as much for Izzy as it was for Stede. Leadership is a heavy burden/responsibility. Izzy had not grasped that lesson. He thinks it's all intimidation and power and looking cool.

gif @cononeills

Izzy’s leadership approach is the exact opposite of Stede’s “people-positive” management style. Izzy thinks respect comes about from fear and coercion. That is why he is obsessed with the reputation of Blackbeard as a badass. People surrender at the sight of the flag. Izzy doesn’t care for the creative aspect of the job like Ed does. Izzy likes people cowering at his feet like any man with a proper Napoleon Complex.

No one will tremble in fear of Blackbeard if word gets out that not only did Blackbeard sign himself over to fighting for the king, but he did it for Bonnet. That would be “a fate worse than death” if the name Blackbeard doesn’t send a shiver up any spines. And Izzy CAN’T have that — not when he is about to get everything he has ever wanted.

Maybe It’s Not A Death

Izzy doesn’t like people referring to Blackbeard as Ed. He doesn’t want Edward Teach tied to the reputation of Blackbeard anymore if Izzy is going to inherit it. At this point, Iz has had a taste of being captain (even though he had a mutiny almost immediately — which was probably a motivating factor in the marooning of the crew later.)

But that was under his own name. Like Westley learned, no one trembles in fear at an unknown pirate captain. Especially Dizzy Izzy.

When Lucius is trying to comfort Ed (Ep 10) saying, “Maybe it's not a death. Maybe life just begins again.” you can see the wheels begin to turn for Ed. The catalyst later comes when Izzy confronts Ed with the illustration of Blackbeard.  

gif @figmentof

Izzy’s threat “I serve Blackbeard….Edward better watch his fucking step” is not without weight. Izzy did the dirty work; Ed knows what the man is capable of. Even worse, Izzy knows what Ed is and is NOT capable of. (Murder)

So Ed is trapped, worse now than ever. Sort of mirroring Stede’s story, they both have to fix the promises they broke before they can truly start anew. But Ed can’t fake his death; he has to keep Blackbeard alive.  

To truly escape, Ed has to restore the Blackbeard reputation for Izzy to successfully (and happily) take it on. Ed is Kraken down (harharhar) on his image for Izzy. If you want the scary Blackbeard, I will give it to you — but you’re the one that’s gotta keep it up, mate.

And to keep it up and be able to pass it on to Izzy, Ed had to get rid of:

Lucius — the only literate crew member who could keep records and could draw his true face. And who also saw Ed in a moment of weakness.

"Stede's playthings" -- because we just can’t have the crew referring to Izzy as the Spewer if they are going to pull off this con. They also will help spread the word of Blackbeard being scarier than ever.

Evidence of Stede -- The English are after Ed and know he was captured on the Revenge. He needs to rework the ship to start his fleet. All Stede’s things need to go. This is the Queen Anne’s Revenge now. Or whatever. It’s got Blackbeard’s Flag flying.

Not All Beards Are Beards, If You Catch My Drift

The reputation of Blackbeard proceeds him. He has an easily identifiable description: long black (or gray) beard. Also when Pete was describing him earlier, Blackbeard used smoke to surround his head.

My first thought — wow psychological warfare. But not only does it give him an extra air of badassery, the lit little fires and smoke around his face also help to conceal what he truly looks like. His identity is kind of concealed. 

As we see with Jim’s disguises, beards aren’t that hard to use to hide things. It changes a person’s face big time. It’s an easy thing to put on and take off….

And word spreads quick. 

gif @captain-flint

His Name Is Blackbeard

I really wonder if in season 2 or (god willing) season 3 Izzy will become the concept of Blackbeard. And in his weird incompetence maybe his is the head tied to the front of Maynard's ship while Stede and Ed sail away with new identities.

Now that would be some Revenge...

gif @bob-belcher

TLDR: Ed still wants to retire. Izzy might carry on Blackbeard's legacy. It’s totes possible.

[tatteredxsails]

@vocesofmd continued from here

A cat could re-learn to walk silently with a bell around her neck. It was a formality, a reminder to the creature that it should forego its nature for the sake of the little warm-bodied creatures it shared the world with. It was a reminder that the cat's nature was something to be altered if it wanted the stroke of a sweet and familiar hand.

Or some shit.

Edward had learned how to walk without ringing the thing, but for the moment he just held it clasped in his hand to muffle the sound. He was still wearing it out of a courtesy to Stede and the rest of the crew. He was well aware, even if they weren't, that it was less about their comfort with him and more about humiliating him. Someone would probably say humbling. Whatever it was, you didn't dress a man in rice sacks and put a bell around his neck if you gave two shits about him retaining a sense of humanity.

He'd made them hate him, not intending to stick around and face the repercussions. Not that it had been hard to make them all hate him. He'd had a talent for that his whole fucking life. Came with the territory.

Edward had been thinking about the end of things long before Stede Bonnet had come into his life. Back then it had just been one of those... "oh well. We'll see what happens" kind of things. Then the world had dropped out from under him and that "oh well" became a "please".

He'd been trying to outsource the big job, again. He drove the crew from raid to raid, hoping that the next one would free him. And if he didn't die like that, well. You could only drive a crew so far before they finally turned on you. Best way to get rid of a viciously shitty captain? Kill him. Tie him to something heavy and throw him off the ship. Push, push, push and something would eventually give.

He'd started with Izzy. Tried to end with Izzy, too, and ended up having to accelerate the situation. It made sense to start with Izzy. The man was practically indistinguishable from him. He could turn all of his self-loathing and intentions of harm on Izzy and it would just... be easier. It would be fitting. Izzy would understand what he needed and he'd eventually have to give it to him. Edward had a breaking point, so Izzy must too. He'd gotten the idea when he'd had his hand around Izzy's throat and had felt the brush of his leather glove against his cheek.

There he is.

There he was.

The problem with the whole thing was that Izzy just... didn't fucking break. Not how he expected. Edward took a toe and the man had run to his heel, ever the eager hound. He'd barked and snarled at the crew in Edward's stead, driving them on through raid after drug-fueled fucking raid like he was obeying the will of god.

Even when he'd finally broken, it hadn't been what Edward had expected. It had been a soft refusal, a question, and an unwanted affirmation of, what? Love. It felt rotten and Edward had pressed his fingers into it like a bruise he greedily needed the pain from.

He'd shot Izzy in the hopes that it would do the trick. Nope. The crew rallied around him and tried to save his life. So Ed had gone down into that stinking room. He'd taken a gun with him and had hoped.

Hearing the shot after he'd left the room had just made that rotten spot inside of him worse. Izzy was gone and the shot hadn't taken him with it.

Except... Izzy wasn't gone. Neither was Edward. He could sit and think about that. Were they both here because Izzy failed? ... Technically, but there was nothing mystical behind that. Nothing fated.

Edward let go of the bell, letting it ring softly, as he moved to sit down within the man's radius of misery -- close enough to feel the alcoholic heat of him. They hadn't spoken or directly interacted since Edward's resurrection, but he'd still known there was something underneath Izzy's seemingly restored state of being. After all, there was something underneath his own.

The gun in his lap, finger against the trigger, said it all.

"Wanna give it another shot?" Ed asked him, dropping a hand to rest over his on the pistol.

[adzeisval]

On Guns

A nicer fic this time. Izzy teaches Stede how to use a pistol. Brief mention of Izzy's suicide attempt. Also on AO3.

Izzy briefly considered not teaching Bonnet to shoot at all. He didn’t really fancy getting shot again and if anyone was accidentally going to shoot him it would be Bonnet. But the man needed to know how to shoot if he was going to continue being a pirate. 

“Have you ever held a pistol before?” Izzy asked. 

“Yes!” Stede said brightly, proud that he had done such a simple thing. 

“Did you fire it?” 

“I did yes. It was back in boarding school. I only fired one twice. Then I gave it up.” 

“Did you load the gun yourself?” 

“Ah no,” Stede said. 

“Well I guess that’s a start,” Izzy said, “Let’s go over loading a pistol first, then we’ll work on firing, then cleaning.” 

“Sounds fun,” Stede said. Izzy had taught many pirates over the years, gave them tips here and there, showed them the right way to do things but he had never had such an enthusiastic student. It was actually kinda annoying. 

Izzy showed Stede how to load the pistol and the man did a decent job for someone who had never loaded his own pistol before. Izzy fired the gun off the edge of the ship and then had Stede do it three more times. It was a decent effort, Izzy supposed. 

“Now let’s work on shooting, especially aim because you don’t want to accidentally shoot your own crew,” Izzy said. 

“That would be terrible,” Stede agreed. 

“I’ve seen it happen,” Izzy said, “And look it does happen to even good shooters, but if you’re a shitty shooter it’s gonna happen more than once.” 

The one good thing was that Stede didn’t seem afraid of the gun. Izzy had seen some young pirates be a little timid with guns, thinking they might go off and kill them and being hesitant to use them or be too much of a perfectionist when loading the pistol. They didn’t tend to last long. Stede shot and reloaded and sucked while doing it but he didn’t seem freaked out. 

However he missed every single thing he aimed at. Didn’t even get close at first but he got more toward the general area. 

“Until you get better, if you get better, aim for the center of someone and maybe you’ll hit something,” Izzy said. 

“Izzy?” 

“Hmm?” 

“How does one get used to…umm. Killing.” 

“It’s either them or you in most cases. Or you don’t have the resources to keep someone alive, or them being alive might come back on you and get you killed. Things like that. It’s…not always easy,” Izzy admitted. 

“Was leaving my crew on a little sandspit easy?” 

“I was ordered to do so.” 

“Ed told you to abandon them on a sandspit?” 

“He told me to get rid of them,” Izzy said, “I chose how.” 

“Did you choose that because there was a chance they would make it?” 

“Not really. Maybe. I don’t know. Most of your precious crew nearly killed me. Tied me up to an anchor and were seconds away from tossing me over when Ed got back. But that’s in the past, they are my crew now and I would die for them.” 

“I would prefer it if you didn’t,” Stede said. 

Izzy found himself smiling a little bit, “Alright let’s move on to cleaning a pistol.” He took a couple of steps toward the stairs where he had set the supplies. On the next step he stepped wrong on his prosthetic leg and cried out in pain. 

The pain ran from his stump up his lower back and then back down, Izzy stumbled a bit and realized he was probably going to fall. Then Stede was there and managed to catch him and helped him sit down on the stairs. 

Izzy was shaking slightly with the pain. 

“Izzy? Do you need Roach? Or Jim? They’re getting really good at medicine…” 

“I’ll be okay,” Izzy said. 

“Can I get you anything?” 

“No. It’ll pass,” Izzy said. Stede sat down beside him and thankfully shut up for a while. Izzy got his breathing under control and stopped shaking as the pain started to fade. 

“Does that happen often,” Stede asked. 

“Occasionally. It’s still healing. If I step just wrong it hits a nerve or something. Fucking hurts,” Izzy said. To distract himself from the feelings that were coming out Izzy took the pistol Stede had been using and started to clean it. 

“You know, you’re quite the badass for surviving that,” Stede said. 

“Just dumb luck honestly. That and Jim being determined to get the job done,” Izzy said. 

“I’m sorry you had to go through that Izzy, I’m glad you’re doing better.” 

“Didn’t know if I was going to make it at first. Crawled out from below deck to stop Ed from killing the others. Almost fainted several times in the storm. Fell a couple of times. Was sick for days,” Izzy said. 

“Did you hurt your head in the storm?” 

Izzy hesitated. He should tell Stede to fuck off. Stede didn’t need to know all that happened that night but…what was it about Stede Bonnet that made people want to open up? Izzy had thought it odd but it was starting to work on him. 

“No. I tried to kill myself. Ed…I’m not ready to talk about it all but he left me with a loaded pistol just after the amputation. I held it to my head and fired and somehow I missed,” Izzy said. 

“Oh Izzy…” 

“I’m alright now Bonnet,” Izzy said, “Getting better at least. I won’t be doing that again.” 

“Every single person on this ship is glad that you are here Izzy,” Stede said. 

Izzy nodded, “I know.” 

“You really are quite the badass Izzy. You got shot and then almost…and you’re still here able to teach me how to use a gun.” 

Izzy shrugged, “Maybe.” He didn’t feel like a badass, he was just doing what needed to be done, but he would take being called a badass over pity any day. 

Just then Ed came from below talking with Fang. Fang looked like he was at ease as they talked. Izzy heard Stede sigh next to him and looked over at the man. The fucker was utterly besotted. There was no doubt that Stede loved Edward. Stede…was probably more of what Edward needed. Ed was certainly happier now that Stede was there. 

Izzy would give anything to be able to do that for Ed, but…he couldn’t. He could take care of some of Ed’s basic needs, he could protect Ed, he had helped Ed become skilled enough to protect himself. Izzy tried to take care of Ed as best he could but when it came to emotional needs…he’d failed. Badly. Ed needed someone like Stede to help with that and Izzy thought the best he could do now was teach Stede enough so the man didn’t die. 

Izzy wanted Ed to be alright. 

“You’re not even mad at him are you?” Stede asked and Izzy realized that Stede had been looking at him. 

“I’m not,” Izzy said, “Well maybe a little but I’m more mad at myself than anything.” 

“Izzy, I won’t keep you away from Ed. If you want to work on your relationship with him I’m not going to stop you. We can both love Ed,” Stede said, “We don’t have to be enemies.” 

Izzy nodded. At the moment he didn’t even know what he would say to Ed, how to begin to talk to the man again but he would have to eventually. 

“We don’t have to be enemies,” Izzy said, “Now, let's see if you were paying attention to pistol cleaning or if you were too busy staring at Ed.” 

Stede groaned and Izzy laughed. 

[reinarandraw]

He never failed his mission until he was tasked to kill Duke Samuel Bellamy.

OFMD Rare Pair Week 2023 @ofmdrarepairweek

Day 05:   Paranormal / High Fantasy / Only One Bed [art & 1.8k oneshot]

The link to AO3 post for the oneshot - that kept getting longer - is [AO3 HERE]

You can click read more and read it here!

Izzy was a seasoned assassin, highly in demand for his service by various greedy nobles, jealous wives, or even insecure kings who just wanted to get rid of their competitor. His affinity to darkness manipulation enabled him to be one with shadows, making it easier to execute his targets. It also made him useful to The Kraken Company, a band of mercenaries under the leadership of the infamous Blackbeard. After some disagreement that involved one twat noble named Stede Bonnet, Izzy decided to go solo as a killer for hire. 

He never failed his mission until he was tasked to kill Duke Samuel Bellamy.

The one who hired him to kill Duke Bellamy was, of course, the king himself. It was a classic reason, Duke Bellamy became too popular so the king feared he would try to usurp him. The man was a war hero, known to be generous and fair to his subjects. There was a rumor that he wasn’t the biological son of the previous duke, but no one in the dukedom cared. When he went to court, he charmed everyone with his humor and easy smile. Of course it made the young king’s blood boil. Just a king being insecure and paranoid. So he hired him to do his dark deeds, promising him golds that could last Izzy a comfortable winter in his lonely cabin without needing to take any job. He hated going out during winter.

It was supposed to be an easy job; infiltrate his castle at night, find the duke, then kill him. Plenty of dark corners in a castle. The shadows of patrolling guards made it easier for him to hop his way to the duke’s bedchamber. It should be easy, really. He had done it a lot of times. Of course, it went wrong so quickly.

So here’s the thing, Izzy actually did a quick recon and tried to find information about his target. He knew Duke Bellamy’s schedule. He knew that his trusted advisor Paulsgrave usually left him alone after the dinner bell. He had planned a way in and a way out. He knew the duke was an exceptional strategist even though his swordsmanship was average. People said he was a good archer, but Izzy doubted Duke Bellamy stashed bow and arrows near his bed. There was no mention of Duke Bellamy having magic affinity. It should be easy.

Izzy wanted to murder whoever said Bellamy didn’t have magic affinity.

One moment Izzy was slipping through the gap below the door. Bellamy was hunched on his desk, probably working on something. Izzy hopped to his shadow with his dagger in his hand . Suddenly he heard a low hum followed by a rumble before he was forcefully shoved away from Bellamy’s shadow. He could feel the sigils he painted on his body an hour ago had ceased to function.

“I can’t have you hiding in there,” Bellamy said so casually. His eyes were still trained on the parchment on his desk. “Let’s just calm down and we can talk.”

Izzy felt himself relaxing after he heard that deep soothing voice. Something wasn’t right.

“I know you’re confused, but there’s no need to be hostile,” Bellamy continued, still with a calm, pleasant tone.

Izzy felt himself going even more relaxed. He lost the edge that kept him on guard. The grip on his dagger loosened a bit before his long year of training kicked in. “You’re using magic to charm me!”

“And you were using magic to kill me,” Bellamy argued. “I’d say we’re even. Don’t you agree, Mr. Assassin?”

While he didn’t feel the urge to compel, the relaxed and calm emotion that suddenly flooded him made it hard for him to disagree with Bellamy. What kind of magic did Bellamy possess?

Bellamy finally put the parchment down. He turned to meet Izzy face to face. Izzy had never seen the man up close, so he was struck by how good looking the man actually was. There was a healthy shine on his long black hair. And his eyes. By the gods, he had a set of dark kind eyes.

“Listen,” Bellamy said, “I know that you’re here to kill me. I’m going to guess it’s the king because my cousin won’t be able to afford your service.”

Izzy frowned. “You know me?”

“I have heard about an assassin that can travel from shadows to shadows,” Bellamy replied. “It’s actually an honor to have Israel Hands himself sent to kill me. I want to say it’s nice to see you, but you literally are here to kill me.”

A surge of pride washed over him before he clamped it down. Bellamy was affecting his emotion to make him more agreeable. “How the fuck did you do magic that without activating any sigils or doing gestures?”

Bellamy chuckled. “I’m not going to spill my secrets to my killer.”

Izzy thought hard to find a way out of this mess. First, he needed to guess what kind of magic Bellamy was using against him. It was clear Bellamy could disrupt his magic by some sort of vibration, but vibration magic required the caster to create vibration. He had seen casters punch the ground as they chanted the spell to triple the strength of the vibration. But Bellamy didn’t require any spells or sigils. He could also charm him without using any spells. So what did he actually do?

“Fuck,” Izzy mumbled as he realized what Bellamy was doing, “you have sound magic affinity. That’s why you don’t need sigils or hand gestures. Your voice is your magic.”

He had heard stories about earthquakes happening in the battle led by Bellamy. People assumed one of the war mages in his command was the one creating the earthquake with vibration manipulation. Who would have thought it was the duke himself who created the earthquake with his freaking voice.  

“Very good, Mr. Hands,” Bellamy said, smiling widely as if he was so impressed with Izzy’s guess. “Your ability to make a correct assessment under duress is remarkable.”

Fuck! He was fucked indeed. The fact that Bellamy could use his voice to disrupt his magic sigil was proof of how adept he was in using his magic. Sound magic combined with vibration manipulation could create a very volatile effect.  The only way to defeat him was by using a silencing spell, but Izzy couldn’t do that. If he knew Bellamy had sound affinity magic, he would have brought a silencing spell scroll.

“Do you like your job?” Bellamy asked.

The question caught him off guard. “The fuck?”

“I’m just curious,” Bellamy replied. “Do you like your job as an assassin?”

Izzy frowned, but he didn’t say anything. He was on guard, bracing for Bellamy’s charm again.

“Is it money or anything else?” Bellamy guessed. “Is it fulfilling?”

Izzy gritted his teeth. He wouldn’t say it was fulfilling. It was lonely. It paid well but he was so lonely. There was something missing in his life after he walked away from Edward’s life. Well, he was forced to walk away after he lost the duel to Bonnet on ‘technically’ that wasn’t even technical.

“Why do you kill people, Mr. Hands?” Bellamy took a decanter of wine and poured himself a glass of wine.

“It’s none of your fucking business,” Izzy hissed. Why didn’t Bellamy call for his guard? What was his game?

“Just trying to figure you out,” Bellamy replied. “Do you want wine?”

Izzy eyed the wine with skeptical eyes. “No.”

“Eh, more for me,” Bellamy said. He sat down on his desk. “Do you want to work for me?”

Izzy once again found himself perplexed. “What?”

“Do you want to work for me?” Bellamy repeated. “I keep getting death threats from my cousins, the king’s relatives, and now the king himself. Having a bodyguard that can hide in my shadow sounds great.”

That was probably the most idiotic thing he had ever heard. “You want an assassin who is hired to kill you to hide in your shadow all the time?”

“I could use the company,” Bellamy said. “I won’t say no to having a handsome man like you to accompany me wherever I go.”

Izzy’s mind stopped working. Did Bellamy flirt with him? Was this flirting?

“You’re very skillful and clearly knowledgeable,” Bellamy continued. “You can be like an anti-assassin. You know how an assassin works so you can anticipate how people are going to kill me.”

That was… not wrong. But still, employing an assassin as a bodyguard sounded dumb.

“Are you from this kingdom?” Bellamy asked.

“No.”

“Do you have any plan to pledge your loyalty to my king?” 

Izzy made a face. “No!”

“Oh, strong reaction. I like that,” Bellamy said. “Is it money? I can give you money. People say I’m fair with my payment so there’s that. You can also have some benefit if you work as my bodyguard. Access to my castle amenities. I have a healer on call, top notch potions.”

Was Bellamy being serious right now?

“And I’m not lying when I said I could use the company,” Bellamy admitted. “It’s a bit lonely here.”

Izzy could relate to that. He was lonely. He knew how it felt. He longed to have a connection with someone. Maybe working with Bellamy wasn’t that bad. Wait. Was it all him or did Bellamy affect his feelings?

“Before you ask, I don’t do anything to manipulate your emotion,” Bellamy told him. “My voice has a weird vibration when I use my magic. It’s noticeable if you focus on my voice.”

Bellamy was giving away his secret willingly. It was a sign of trust. Shit. Bellamy was serious about it.

“Can I think about it first?” Izzy asked.

“As long as you think about it here,” Bellamy replied.

Izzy snorted. “So it’s agreeing to work for you or getting executed for trying to kill a duke?”

“No. If you don’t want to work for me, I’ll  give you ten seconds to run before I alert my guards,” Bellamy said. “It seems like a fair trade considering you can jump between shadows.”

Well, he had tried to escape from worse situations than this. Izzy took another look at Bellamy. He wasn’t ready to be greeted by Bellamy’s hopeful smile. He tried to ignore how his heart started to beat faster. He wanted to pretend it was due to adrenaline, but he was aware his cheeks were starting to get warm.

“Ok,” Izzy finally agreed. “Yeah, I’ll work with you. Why not.”

Bellamy gave him a wide smile. “Excellent! Your service would help me tremendously.”

Izzy frowned. “I’m just going to be your bodyguard, right?”

“That’s true. And having an invisible bodyguard that can be with me all the time allows me to move with my plan.”

“Your plan?”

“I’m going to usurp the throne.”

It turned out the king was not just an insecure and paranoid man.

[bookshelfdreams]

For the tarot ask game! My favorite! The "beating youself with sticks card" or as it's oficially known, 5 of wands.

(If you dont want to feel free to ignore)

Five of wands - conflict, fierce competition, fear of failure

(you didn't put a character so you're getting no one's favourite XD)

I wonder what it must be like to be Chauncey Badminton. Imagine, just for a moment. You have made it; you are an admiral in the royal navy, among highest military ranks one can achieve. You worked your way up, too, you achieved your station by your own merit. Your twin brother, who probably has been in the military just as long, is only a captain.

And your brother. You have the same face, but that's where the resemblance ends. Where you are ambitious, driven, pragmatic, he is careless and lacks discipline. I said earlier you joined the military together, but maybe that's not true. Maybe he came in later, after a string of failed ventures. Maybe you gave him a boat and told him to go hunt pirates and thought, There's no way for this to go wrong. An easy enough job, rewarding, something to keep him occupied.

How did you feel when you learned of his death?

Were you shocked? Did you recoil at the sight of his face, so much like your own, and barely recognizable?

And what did you think when one of his officers told you a man namend Bonnet was responsible?

Did you even remember him? I think you did. You remembered an easily frightened boy, weak, always crying. Awkward and ridiculous, someone whose mere sight filled you with disgust for reasons you wouldn't be able to articulate (not that anyone would ever expect you to).

He was who killed your brother? Stede Bonnet? Who could barely hold a rapier as a child, and most likely hasn't improved a wit as an adult? That Stede Bonnet?

Your brother's death is one thing but this, this is unacceptable. This is insulting. Of course death is always to be expected in service of king and country and all that. Dying honorably on the battlefield. But killed by an imbecile, and returned wrapped in a bizarre cat flag? How dare he.

And then there's something else, isn't there. The fleet is at your command the King says (that sniveling, drugged-up idiot, though you are very careful to keep such thoughts hidden) and you recognize a golden opportunity for what it is. A chance to once more prove yourself.

It should be easy, and it is, at first. You find a traitor, a pathetic excuse for a man, though you are careful not to let him know that. He disgusts you, as they all do.

You find the ship. You board the ship. Bonnet is exactly as you remember him, over-dressed, over-groomed, no spine to speak of. It takes barely five minutes for him to break down sobbing and sign a confession.

Pathetic.

Death by firing squad is practically a mercy. You could almost feel charitable as you pronounce the sentence. About time someone put Bonnet out of his misery.

Black beard, on the other hand - that's a formidable opponent. Even behind bars, even shackled and surrounded by guns, he has something to him, a captivating aura that makes you feel off-balance, like he's the one holding all the cards. His mere presence makes the ship feel off, makes the shadows seem darker, makes you wonder what hides behind corners. Of course you don't let that show, you have perfect control over yourself, but secretly you are more than happy to relinquish him into the hands of that traitor. He will not be your problem soon.

But.

Well, it all goes to shit after that, doesn't it? That pathetic little weakling inspiring such fierce loyalty in his crew of deplorables when they should be glad to be rid of him - that's one thing, but even your own damn officers take his side!

Taking measures! Against you!

Putting their filthy hands on you, when you're an admiral, for fuck's sake!

They don't quite lock you up, but you're brought to your cabin and it's strongly suggested you do not leave it. They even have the gall, the audacity to post someone at your door. You can see his back through the little window. You ought to have them all degraded, disciplined, flogged as soon as you make land and are in the company of sane people again.

This is akin to mutiny.

And it just - it will not end. You keep waiting for a moment when everyone wakes up, when people will realize what they did, to you. You! You keep waiting for your sailors to look at each other in horror, then beg your forgiveness.

But no. Bonnet is enrolled in the privateering academy, just like that, like it means nothing that he murdered an English officer. Your brother! Twice, thrice, four times the man Bonnet will ever be (all Nigel's many personality flaws nonwithstanding. You were well aware of his drinking, his mean streak, his attitude that could veer off into carelessness, at times).

No, Bonnet, completely unscathed, prancing around like he owns the fucking place, like he has any right to be there. Here. On this island, this earth.

(Maybe that's the point where you look at your bottle and wonder, briefly, where the contents went. You ignore the look the innkeeper gives you as you gesture for another.)

No, there's no sign of things turning back normal. Is there. It's Bonnet; something about him that just - well turns everything upside down, doesn't it? Nothing's as it. Fucking. Supposed to be.

You're not supposed to suffer this insubordination. Your brother isn't supposed to be dead.

There's the barracks. Strangely, you don't recall getting up, or walking here, but now that you are, it is obvious what you must do. Bonnet is supposed to be dead.

You're only rectifying that