#'sometimes i feel like everybody is a sexy baby and i'm a monster on the hill too big to hang out'

[astrangerlately]

[cowboylikedean]

has someone reminded y'all today that the theme of lonlieness is the greatest theme on midnights?

[cowardlycowboys]

sometimes I think about that tweet that was like "ovulation week is where you feel you're prettiest" or whatever as if I'm not feeling my most grotesque

[drogonstone]

some time ago I saw a tiktok of vhagar with taylor swift's anti-hero playing and I can't get it out of my head

[darlingrxby]

the way my mom's lipo ruined my self image lmao

[doublism]

sometimes i feel like everybody is a sexy baby and i'm a monster on the hill

[ohdorothea]

This tournament is being run by and for queer fans so please keep that in mind! Homophobes will be blocked on sight <3 More polls here and more info here! Lyrics for the songs and FAQ under the cut!

Labyrinth lyrics

It only hurts this much right now

Was what I was thinking the whole time

Breathe in, breathe through, breathe deep, breathe out

I'll be getting over you my whole life

You know how scared I am of elevators

Never trust it if it rises fast

It can't last

Uh oh, I'm falling in love

Oh no, I'm falling in love again

Oh, I'm falling in love

I thought the plane was going down

How'd you turn it right around?

It only feels this raw right now

Lost in the labyrinth of my mind

Break up, break free, break through, break down

You would break your back to make me break a smile

You know how much I hate

That everybody just expects me to bounce back

Just like that

Uh oh, I'm falling in love

Oh no, I'm falling in love again

Oh, I'm falling in love

I thought the plane was going down

How'd you turn it right around?

Uh oh, I'm falling in love

Oh no, I'm falling in love again

Oh, I'm falling in love

I thought the plane was going down

How'd you turn it right around?

Uh oh, I'm falling in love (falling in love)

Oh no, I'm falling in love again (falling in love again)

Oh, I'm falling in love (falling in love)

I thought the plane was going down

How'd you turn it right around?

Uh oh, I'm falling in love (falling in love)

Oh no, I'm falling in love again (falling in love again)

Oh, I'm falling in love (falling in love)

I thought the plane was going down

How'd you turn it right around?

(You know how much I hate it)

(You know how much I hate it)

(You know how much I hate it)

🫶🫶🫶

Anti-Hero lyrics

I have this thing where I get older, but just never wiser

Midnights become my afternoons

When my depression works the graveyard shift, all of the people

I've ghosted stand there in the room

I should not be left to my own devices

They come with prices and vices

I end up in crisis

(Tale as old as time)

I wake up screaming from dreaming

One day, I'll watch as you're leaving

'Cause you got tired of my scheming

(For the last time)

It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me

At teatime, everybody agrees

I'll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror

It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

Sometimes, I feel like everybody is a sexy baby

And I'm a monster on the hill

Too big to hang out, slowly lurching toward your favorite city

Pierced through the heart, but never killed

Did you hear my covert narcissism

I disguise as altruism

Like some kind of congressman?

(A tale as old as time)

I wake up screaming from dreaming

One day, I'll watch as you're leaving

And life will lose all its meaning

(For the last time)

It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me (I'm the problem, it's me)

At teatime, everybody agrees

I'll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror

It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

I have this dream my daughter-in-law kills me for the money

She thinks I left them in the will

The family gathers 'round and reads it and then someone screams out

"She's laughing up at us from Hell"

It's me, hi

I'm the problem, it's me

It's me, hi

I'm the problem, it's me

It's me, hi

Everybody agrees, everybody agrees

It's me, hi (Hi), I'm the problem, it's me (I'm the problem, it's me)

At teatime (Teatime), everybody agrees (Everybody agrees)

I'll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror

It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

🫶🫶🫶

The question is which song is queerer to you! Queerer can mean whatever you want it to mean; you might consider a song queer because you think it was written that way, or because of Swiftian lore. It might be queer to you because of how you relate it to your own life. Maybe you think from a purely literary standpoint the lyrics have queer themes; maybe you're just thinking about vibes!!!

If you’d like to send in interpretations or propaganda for a specific song you can send them to my inbox! All interpretations are welcome and let’s be open and kind in response to all interpretations <3

[cottoncandywhispers]

Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby and I'm a monster on the hill

[ilions-end]

uh oh i've finished THE THEBAID! time to talk about it!

disclaimer: i'm not a roman empire girlie. like with the aeneid, i'm AWARE the author is using the medium of greek myths to say things about the state of the republic and roman culture, and i'm just kinda... not interested in that. i'm here for the plot and the characters. envision i'm a child watching saturday morning cartoons with my bowl of fruit loops going "yayy did you see the character do the thing?! that was so cool!!". basically i'm enjoying these stories on the "easily entertained dumbass" level

and i LOVED it. i got FUCKED UP by this epic in the best way. HOW TO DESCRIBE THE THEBAID?

it's so deliciously engaging and funny and dark. to me it feels more closely related to the iliad than either the odyssey or the aeneid, but it's in conversation with all of them and also so unique. there are bitter ironies everywhere, troubled people making worse choices. ALL the characters are flawed, but in extremely interesting and engaging (and even endearing) ways.

there's something about how it starts out as a GREAT EPIC telling the story of BRAVE HEROES except they can't retain their integrity as the story progresses, they can't fathom their own limitations or flaws. it's like the iliad if achilles HADN'T accepted priam's plea, it's the odyssey if odysseus hadn't retained enough of himself to string that bow or remember the bed. it's a story that tells you "they failed, none of this mattered, but also all of it mattered".

i love how statius as an author is SO present, leading you by the hand through the narrative, offering his views (he has so many opinions and snide asides! and sometimes he complains about how much WORK it is to tell you this story, omg why are you forcing him to do all this work!) and it all feels so -- aw that's my buddy statius!! my funny friend statius is telling me this story and it's great!

this might be the first epic i've read where we know the author wanted it to more or less BE like that, so there are some LONG LINES being drawn from the beginning of the story to the end

i'll be honest, i didn't know much about the theban cycle when i started reading. i knew about oedipus, and antigone, and that diomedes' dad was in it, and that everybody fails spectacularly at what they're trying to achieve. and turns out that was more than enough knowledge to hit the ground running, it's surprisingly straightforward

i'd assumed diomedes' dad was just "one of the seven leaders against thebes", but no he's a MAIN main guy! tydeus is so central, at one point he is ENTIRELY to blame for everything bad that happens later, and i fell in love with that awful little murderman

like the way tydeus introduces himself in the first chapter saying he's from "calydon, the breeding ground of monsters". and you're sitting there like HOHOHO i think we're gonna discover who's the latest monster to come out of calydon!

like the iliad, it shows both sides of the conflict, and arguably our main point of view guys are WAY MORE fucked up than they guys they're fighting. like i love polynices, he's sympathetic because he's been treated so unfairly but that doesn't mean he's not kinda fucked up; i love eteocles, who's a tyrant and cheated, but he's fun to watch and equally fucked up

the wonderful thing is that it doesn't matter who you cheer for, everyone's gonna lose :D

it has everything you want from an epic: gods taking sides, glorious aristeias, tragic battlefield deaths, a trip to the underworld, funeral games, evocative descriptions of weaponry and equipment (statius is SO to the point when it comes to ekphrasis, love him for that), a sexy night raid... the contexts for some of these might surprise you!

AND. AND. IT HAS WHAT THE ILIAD LACKS. that's right: DIONYSUS, baby!! he's here, he's involved, he's getting his hands dirty! also he gets to play a very thetis-like part at one point, which i think is sexy.

statius does amazing work making all these characters distinct. i never thought i'd get a detailed sense of all SEVEN against thebes (and other characters besides ofc) but each of them has their uniquely memorable moments and oddities and they're all so different from each other. it's about PERSONALITIES and it's about those personalities gradually being INFECTED by polynices' transgressive thebe-ness. and still i'm hugging them all to my chest. my little fucked up dudes

it's fascinating that the thebaid is ultimately a tragedy, but it's not like athenian tragedy -- this isn't about how there was no other way, or that everything's already locked down heading for catastrophe; it's the opposite! the heartbreak is in how we see that the conflict could have ended HERE, or HERE, or HERE, or HERE, but they're all so set on doing this they're willing to ignore EVERY bad omen, write off EVERY loss, and convince each other OF COURSE they're gonna win (which they won't!) because they're THE HEROES, DAMMIT. it's HUBRIS, THE EPIC

my favourite moment of "this could easily have ended here" is before the war, when polynices falls out of his chariot during the funeral games, and he's in the middle of the track when all the other racing teams come thundering towards him. statius STOPS TIME at that moment to tell us how close polynices is to dying, that ALL THE PAIN AND DEATH that is sure to come would have been avoided RIGHT HERE if only he'd been trampled and killed, and what a blessing that would have been. but the story has to continue, polynices escapes without a scratch and everything bad happens as it must. THE FLAVOUR of moments like that?? GAWD

so those are some general thoughts. specific moments under the cut because i can never stop talking once i get going

a main thing is how IMMENSELY DISGUSTED zeus is with oedipus, and it never stops being funny. because, like, 1) oedipus' incest kids are adults at this point, and you're still THIS worked up about it?? 2) zeus has got it all wrong, he's like "OMG EWWW can you believe he SOUGHT OUT his own mother to fuck her?? that this PERVERT wanted to fuck his own MOTHER all along?! DISGOSTANG!!" like mate that's REALLY NOT how that happened! and 3) zeus buddy, you're having a tantrum about the concept of incest to your sister-wife........

you know what never gets old? statius describing the activities of the furies' snake hair. the snakes get thirsty! they get sleepy! they get excited! amazing.

MAN how the beginning of book 2 drew me in. we're dropped straight into the action with hermes on an important mission heading out of the underworld, we have no idea what's going on but it's SO atmospheric, it's SO intriguing, and we have to follow his tracks to see where the narrative is going with it. THIS STORYTELLING FEELS SO MODERN

there's a CURSED NECKLACE that i really thought would play more into the plot. i mean it's there to emanate bad vibes, i guess, and indirectly influence things. i'm just not used to full-on CURSED ARTIFACTS in my epics

tydeus' stint as an emissary is hilarious, i'm still not over it. when he loses his cool and basically yells at eteocles "WELL YOU'RE THE SPAWN OF INCEST!!" when he's there ON BEHALF of the other spawn of incest......... tydeus you're SO bad at this

OOOOUGH TYDEUS FIGHTING BACK THE AMBUSH AT THE SPHINX' ROCK IS SO SEXY AND HORRIFYING OMGGG. hang on i gotta go reread that now...

...fucking hell, it's so good. IT'S SO GOOD!!!! it's my new favourite aristeia in any of these epics, from the first cheap shot that almost gets him in the jugular, to the clambering up the rock, and his shield BRISTLING with enemy spears which he pulls out and uses against them, and not to mention how it shows just how fucking EXHAUSTED he gets once the initial adrenaline rush is through

man, statius is so excellent at realistic physiology. like the detailed descriptions of how the runners at the funeral games warm up, how their muscles feel doing this or that... statius obviously knows so many things firsthand

also love how from there on out tydeus lies about the ambush. honey you killed forty-nine guys, not fifty, and you know it!! it's impressive enough, you don't need to round up

i wish athena would play a bigger part as she's taking tydeus as her champion and everything. she's probably the MOST unknowable of all the gods in the thebaid, she rarely speaks directly to anyone, and is kinda only present for her core scenes in the myth. tell me what you're thinking about babe...

we get way more of that "UH OH YOU'RE A GOD'S FAVOURITE, THIS ISN'T GONNA END WELL" with apollo's love for amphiaraus, though. i appreciate that

while we're on the gods, i'm also VERY weak for how openly ares simps for aphrodite. when she jumps in front of his horses to stop him and there's this lovely passage where he rushes from the chariot to take her in his arms and comfort her... awww. and then it's kinda wild when he's like "darling you're my only respite from war"... ares babe, you LOVE war!

there are several suicides in this story, and each one is surprisingly disturbing in its own way, but maeon though??? guy went out with IMMENSE STYLE and INTEGRITY. respect

statius is really good about chronology (since the theban war happens before the iliad-aeneid-odyssey) EXCEPT at one point someone throws a big rock (hippomedon maybe? i can't remember) like polyphemus threw boulders at odysseus and i'm like NO THAT HASN'T HAPPENED YET. ODYSSEUS IS A BOY IN ITHACA AT THIS POINT

i didn't expect to love parthenopaeus so much!! he's a BOY who's snuck off to war, he's glorious but he doesn't understand the consequences! that's a still-developing brain in there!!! when he's killed, EVEN THE ENEMIES GRIEVE FOR HIM, aaaaah! and statius keeps using him as a symbol of how meaningless the war is, and he's a proto-achilles (proto-neoptolemus?) in so many ways and it just KILLS ME

the whole nemea section is sooooo weird. and i GET that it's meant to be weird, that it's part of this whole campaign's WRONGNESS but it's... it's weird. like WHY does their entire army get involved in this place's family and history and politics? why do they get DELAYED FROM WAR eagerly listening to a nurse talking about the massacre of lemnos? why would she put the baby on the ground and leave it? what's UP with that snake? why do they have these MAJOR FUNERAL GAMES OF MILITARY PROWESS for a random dead royal infant? it's so weirddddd

the funeral games in themselves are great fun actually. and that only makes it worse because the next day the battles start and EVERYONE STARTS GETTING KILLED. the vibes turn on a DIME here

there are so many references to heracles that i can't appreciate because i'm clueless about heracles. i should fix that.

i cackled SO HARD at how statius reveals tydeus' cannibalism. that perspective change?? how athena is watching his comrades trying to WREST the decapitated head from him like he's a dog chewing on plastic? oh gosh it's amazing

AND i love how eteocles USES TYDEUS' CANNIBALISM AS A POINT OF PROPAGANDA. he's SO good at painting the entire enemy force as savages because would you believe even one of their fucking LEADERS chomped on theban brains!! THEY'RE HERE TO EAT US UNLESS WE FIGHT

also. also way later when we're told tydeus' wife's love for him is SO GREAT that she even managed to forgive him for that final taboo... do you know who else forgave him for that? INSTANTLY, without a moment's doubt? who was even impressed with him for it because he's fucked up like that? POLYNICES. his love for tydeus goes unremarked but statius sure implies...

i'm not deeply invested in gore but statius is VERY good at describing gore. he's definitely more... structured about battles than homer is though (two leaders dying per chapter, chosen for maximum contrast and effect, etc), to the point where towards the end of the fighting i was getting hungry for something else

the weirdest quirk of statius is how he will reuse names all the time? if there's a random argive background character you can almost bet that there's a random theban background character with that exact name -- i guess to make a point how similar they truly are -- but in a book that shit gets CONFUSING.

the night raid is clearly based on the iliad's night raid except everyone's more twisted and making worse choices, and i appreciate that. then while the heroes are doing awful dishonorable stuff, you get the lowly squires of tydeus and parthenopaeus sneaking off to steal their corpses back and being ACTUALLY HEROIC! oh the contrast is delicious

when statius interrupts his own storytelling to beg the muses to MAKE HIM MORE MENTALLY UNHINGED for the next part he's going to tell?? this man is GIVING IT ALL to tell you this story properly. i love you statius

polynices and eteocles' final duel is the CLIMAX we've been waiting for the entire epic and it's perfect. oh they're equally horrible and they're equally interesting and ohh yummy yummy this storytelling

i would have been fine if the story ended on the battlefield. i understand the "mini epic" in the final chapter as a way to contrast the whole thing ("look at theseus being an ACTUAL epic hero!") but it is a bit of a major vibe shift in the final round

and then it ends with statius pondering if people will enjoy this story after he's dead? :'-) i'm heeeere i'm reading it love it! it's still so great don't worry!!

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

what's your favourite in-album lyric parallel (two lyrics in songs from the same album which mirror eachother well)?

personally it's evermore's "and when i got into the accident / the sight that flashed before me was your face" (coney island) and "and when i was shipwrecked / i thought of you" (evermore)

also i hope you're doing well today <3

Oh this is SUCH a good question!!!! I can think of a ton that cross albums but within albums needs a bit of a deeper dig!!

One off the top of my head from TTPD: We learned the right steps to different dances (How Did It End?) / Who's gonna stop us from waltzing back into rekindled flames (loml) / dancing phantoms on the terrace, are they secondhand embarrassed that I can't get out of bed cause something counterfeit's dead? (loml)

Lover: I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this (Paper Rings) / Feels like home, stay in bed the whole weekend, it's nice to have a friend (It's Nice To Have A Friend)

folklore: I think I've seen this film before and I didn't like the ending (exile) / You're a flashback in a film reel on the one screen in my town (this is me trying)

Red TV: What do you say when tears are streaming down your face in front of everyone you know? And what do you do when the one who means the most to you is the one who didn't show? (The Moment I Knew) /The idea you had of me, who was she? A never-needy, ever-lovely jewel whose shine reflects on you / Not weeping in a party bathroom, some actress asking me what happened, you / That's what happened, you / You who charmed my dad with self-effacing jokes. sipping coffee like you're on a late-night show / But then he watched me watch the front door all night, willing you to come and he said, "It's supposed to be fun turning twenty-one" (ATW10MV)

Midnights (stay with me here):

Sometimes, I feel like everybody is a sexy baby and I'm a monster on the hill / Too big to hang out, slowly lurching toward your favorite city, pierced through the heart, but never killed (Anti-Hero) / Don't you ignore me, I'm the best thing at this party (You're Losing Me)

Always remember the burning embers, I vowed not to fight anymore if we survived the Great War (The Great War) / Always remember we're burned for better, I vowed I would always be yours 'cause we survived the Great War (The Great War) / All I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier / Fighting in only your army (You're Losing Me) all of The Great War parallels You're Losing Me in the essay I will--

You know how much I hate that everybody just expects me to bounce back just like that (Labyrinth) / To you I can admit that I'm just too soft for all of it (Sweet Nothing)

OK that's enough for now lol. But that's such an interesting way to look at it! Great pick yourself btw. :)

[justanapparatus]

getting weird about king being on the pre-show playlist... we argue in the kitchen about whether to have children about the world ending and the scale of my ambition.... no deal the 1950s shit they want from me yknow they said the end is near im so sick of running as fast as I can..... a woman is a changeling always shifting shape and the eras and the old taylors in lwymmd.... just when you think you've got it figured out something new begins to take...how can a person know everything at 18 and nothing at 22....what strange claws are these scratching at my skin I never knew my killer would be coming from within.... sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby and I'm a monster on the hill too big to hang out slowly lurching toward your favorite city pierced through the heart but never killed.... you need your rotten heart your dazzling pain like diamond rings.... sapphire tears on my face sadness became my whole sky.... you need to go to war to find material to sing.... oh my god she's insane she wrote a song about me.... I need my golden crown of sorrow my bloody sword to sing I need my empty halls to echo with grand self mythology... my mind turns your life into folklore... the dear reader of it all....... I am no mother I am no bride I am king... if I was the man then I'd be the man.... do you understand. do you. do you understand.

[beefstrugglenoff]

like im still stuck on 'sometimes i feel like everybody is a sexy baby and I'm a monster on a hill'.

[anagirl-23]

Lyrics that make me think of my ed and make me cry

"Shut up, count your calories. I never looked good in mom jeans. Wish I was like you. Blue-eyed blondie, perfect body. Maybe I should try harder" -Prom Queen, Beach Bunny

"Why do I always spill? I feel it coming out my throat, guess I better wash my mouth out with soap" -Soap, Melanie Martinez

"And I could lie say I like it like that, like it like that. But nothin' is better sometimes" -When the party's over, Billie Eilish

"Then hate my reflection, for years and years. I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost" -The Archer, Taylor Swift

"I can change everything about me to fit in...And I'm still a believer, but I don't know why. I've never been a natural, all I do is try try try" -Mirrorball, Taylor Swift

"I kinda wanna throw my phone across the room, 'cause all I see are girls too good to be true. With paper white teeth and perfect bodies. Wish I didn't care. I know that beauty's not my lack but it feels like that weight is on my back" -Jealousy Jealousy, Olivia Rodrigo

"Everybody wants you. But I don't like a hold rush. What must it be like to grow up that beautiful?" -Gold Rush, Taylor Swift

"You say to me your jeans don't fit. You don't feel pretty and it's hard to miss" -Perfect Now, Louis Tomlinson (the whole song brings me so much comfort, I can't put it onto words)

"And she's got that body, always gotta flaunt it. Everybody's looking up. When she walks by you wanna be her" -Prom Queen, Molly Kate Kestner

"They say these are the golden years but I wish I could disappear. Ego crush is so severe" -Brutal, Olivia Rodrigo

"Pill diet, piell diet. If they give you a new pill then you will but it. If they say to kill yourself then you will try it. All the make-up in the world, won't make you less insecure. You got weights in your pockets when you go to the doctor's" -Sippy Cup, Melanie Martinez

"I'm a soldier who's returning half her weight" -All too well (10 minute version), Taylor Swift

"From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes. I have my blood, sweat and tears for this. I hosted parties and starved my body. Like I'd be saved by a perfect kiss. The jokes weren't funny" -You're on your own kid, Taylor Swift

"She wants to feel like she did before. She looks into her mirror wishing someone could hear her, so loud" -Mirrors, Niall Horan

"Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby. And I'm a monster on the hill. Too big to hang out" -Anti-Hero, Taylor Swift

"You never want to know how much you weight. You still have to squeeze into your jeans, but you're perfect to me" -Little Things, One Direction

"I wanna eat, I wanna stay thin. I wanna dance but I gotta stay in. Hey, skinny skinny, don't you think about the futur. Hey, skinny skinny too bad, too bad" -Skinny Skinny, Ashton Irwin

And the whole fucking song Smaller than this by Sara Kays, like, every damn line

[haydenthewitch]

sanders sides charcters and what taylor swift lyrics i assoate them with

virgil: i and i can go anywhere i want anywhere i want just not home and you can aim for my heart go for blood but you will still miss me when i'm gone. and i still talk to you, when i'm screaming at the sky

roman: i hosted parties and starved my body like i'd be saved by the perfect kiss. the jokes wern't funny, i took the money, my frenids from home don't know what to say. i looked around in a blood soaked gown and i saw something they can't take away

patton: when i felt like i was an old cardigan under someone's bed, you put me on and said i was your favorite.

remus: sometimes i feel like everybody is a sexy baby, and i'm a monster on the hill. to big to hang out, slowly lurching to your faveorite city

janus: you heard the rumors from [janus] you can't belive a word she says, most times, but this time it was true. the worst thing that i ever did, was what i did to you.

logan: if it's all in my head tell me know. tell me i've got it wrong somehow, i know my love should be clebrated, but you tolarate it. while you were out buliding other worlds where was i? where's that man who threw blankets over my barbed wire? [...] now i'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life.

(this is hyper spefic and niche i know but i have all of these thoughts about two of my fandoms interacting i can not help it)

[shyjusticewarrior]

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived: "Cause it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden"

Anti-Hero: "Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby and I'm a monster on the hill"