#'shitting my pants' is a great answer to anything tbh

[thedarkmongoose]

fan expo interviewer: mads, you are tackling a character that's been a part of pop culture for a few decades now — how does it feel to step in a role as iconic as hannibal lecter?

mads: i was… i was kinda shitting my pants

[leocancertaurus]

A Debt to Pay Pt.1

(brief)mob!Natasha x daughter!Reader

Word Count: 5.5k

CW: swearing, murder, blood, guns,  mentions of (a parent’s) death,  mention of pregnancy, mentions of human trafficking, mentions of drugs & alcohol. I think that’s all but, I do apologize if I missed anything!

Summary (series): Your biological mother, Natasha Romanoff, was associated with rather some rather unsavory characters during your childhood. All she ever wanted to do was protect you from them. 

A/N: hi! i wrote this thing and I feel like it’s cool so I hope you enjoy it :) this part is a lot of context tbh and is the set up for future parts of the story. this young nat is heavily inspired by villanelle which was fun to write. my character selection might be kinda random too but whatever. well, those are my thoughts. enjoy!

_______________________________________________________________________

In a dim, damp brick room, one rather unimportant man’s life was taking a dismal turn. A loud back handed smack across his face rang out into the space. “You’re not helping your case at all. Tell me what I want to know and I’ll make sure your death only hurts a little bit” a raspy voice growled. 

“I told you. I don’t know nothin!” the man cowers.

“You must take me for an idiot. Do I look like an idiot to you?” 

A red mist sprays from his bloody mouth through his cynical laughter, “I don’t think you want me to answer that.” The impatient woman standing over him tilted her head, daring him to continue. “What are you in this line of work for anyway huh? You’re far too pretty to–” he’s cut off by a bullet between the eyes. 

“I’ve had enough.” She tucks her gun back into the waistline of her pants.

“Nat, what the fuck?! We needed him! What do we have to take back now?” Bucky, Natasha’s mentor, demanded. 

“He was pissing me off,” Natasha claims indifferently.

“If you killed everyone who pissed you off, who would even be left?”

“Certainly not you,” she smirks, riling the older man up more.

“Natasha, this isn’t funny! You are gonna be the one to fix this,” he forces between gritted teeth pointing in the direction of the man with his head leaning back.

“I did fix it. I wanted to kill him hours ago,” she mused.

“Fine, keep thinking this is a game,” he fumed. “Just know that I refuse to go down with you. I’m tired of Dreykov being on my ass because you’re irrational!”

“Oh, now I’m irrational?” she jests.

“You just shot a man in the face for calling you pretty!”

“I shot a man in the face for being a sleazeball,” Natasha emphasizes.

“A sleazeball for a compliment?!”

“Would you compliment the person who holds your pathetic life in their to be nice or to be fucking disgusting?”

“I don’t know? He’s probably scared and didn’t know what you–”

“When the fuck did you grow a heart?” she interjects.

“I’m done talking about this with you. You’re gonna deal with whatever consequences come from this, not me!”

“Please stop talking,” Natasha turns to leave the room. There are two large, stone faced guards standing just outside of the door as she makes her exit, “Clean that up for me, will you?” She receives a single head nod in response and rewards the burly men with a wink. Bucky’s not too far behind her as she makes her way outside to a sleek, all black car that awaited. A driver quickly shuffles to open the door. Knowing not to make Natasha wait. They make their way through Manhattan to meet their boss and share what they (hadn’t) found.

“You have a little,” Bucky gestures around Natasha’s face. 

“What?” she swipes at her chin. “Did I get it?”

“No. You actually have blood,” he gestures over his face. “All over your face.”

“Oh shit,” Nat grabs a hot towel out of the towel warmer in the back of the luxury vehicle. She covers her face with the towel and vocally sighs. “I need a facial.”

“Nat.” Bucky curtly warns her to be quiet. 

“You really got a stick up your ass today, huh Barnes?” she quips.

“No, you’ve just been acting your fucking age lately,” he clenches his jaw.

“Great. This again,” she states flatly. “How do you act 23, you buffoon?”

“By making rash, foolish decisions that have a major impact just because you don’t like the way someone’s talking to you.”

“Would it be rash or foolish if I punched you in your throat right now?” 

“Yes!” he gestures; Nat having proved his point. “Look kid, you’ve got way too much to lose–”

“Don’t you dare,” she spits at her mentor, rejecting the reminder. “Look,” She takes the towel off of her face and wipes over it to clean the blood spatter from her skin. “I know what I’m doing, alright? You think I would’ve killed him if I had nothing? Have some faith in me, Bucko,” She jokingly swats his arm. “I was just sick of that son of a bitch playing games with me. Check this out. I wanted to see how much more I could get out of him in addition to this…” The young Russian fishes a black smartphone out of the pockets of her skintight black jeans. “I have his cell. I know their pickup location. It’s fine. Relax.” she shrugs. 

“Where the hell did that come from?” 

“His… pockets?” she questions.

“Romanoff, quit playing fucking games with me!” Bucky strains.

“Woah woah woah,” she puts her hands up in surrender. “Fine. Just unclench your ass first, Barnes!” The redhead chuckles at Bucky’s face growing redder. “When you stepped out to take a call, I swiped his phone. He’s the worst fucking “gangster” ever. He didn’t even have a password on the thing. His brain was probably too tiny to remember it.” She smiles. ”It didn’t take me very long to find where their pickup location was, see?” She shows him a message from the man’s boss. 

“I’m not worried about this because clearly these guys are the stupidest people on the planet. Their boss sent him the exact location of where they’re doing a massive trade for a million dollars worth of guns!” she emphasizes. “I can literally just click on this link and the GPS will take me there,” she laughs. “We’re exponentially smarter than them, Buck. This is a piece of cake. Look, I’ve been texting his boss back. He has no clue he’s dead. No one suspects a thing. Now, we’ll be back soon. Shut up. I’m gonna take a nap.”

“Dreykov’s still gonna be pissed that you shot him.” Bucky shakes his head at the young woman’s antics. She drove him up a wall every single day without fail but absolutely no one was better than her. Natasha had been Bucky’s apprentice for a few years now. He’d worked for Dreykov for around a decade by the time Natasha started. He taught her everything she knew. Still, she exceeded even his level of expertise and Bucky was known to be the best of the best. Natasha was young, way too energetic, hot-headed, and reckless but she delivered every. single. time. Not too long after, the car pulled up to a dazzling high rise where their boss resided. The two hop out and are greeted by the doorman who has the elevator already waiting for them. Natasha shoots a wink and a nod  in his direction, knowing it gets him riled up. “Bruce,” she seductively rasps.

He awkwardly laughs and waves at Natasha. As soon as the elevator doors close, he starts to hyperventilate. 

Bucky smirks and shakes his head, “Why do you do that to him?” 

“It’s fun to see his silly little reactions” She giggles. 

“What happens when he asks you out, hm?” He raises his brow.

Natasha pulls a straight expression immediately, “He dies.”

The two break out into laughter at the sudden change of demeanor. Their laughter weans slightly as they approach the penthouse. They both sigh humorously as they step off. 

“Three, two, one” Natasha counts under her breath. The sound of bare feet slapping on the marble floors in the lavish penthouse instantly flooded Natasha’s ears as it did everytime the elevator ding announced her return. 

“Mommy!” You race from the living room into the foyer where you see your mom already waiting with open arms. In no time, you leap into her arms. She squeezes your tiny body in a bone crushing hug. “Hi Uncle Bucky,” you gasp and wave dramatically. He laughs and kisses your forehead before heading to find Dreykov.

“Oh sorry,” she loosens her grip, taking the hint. “Hi printsessa,” she gently kisses the side of your head. “I missed you so much today. Did you behave for Auntie Antonia?”

“Yes! Mommy I have to show you my new lego set!” You raise your head to meet her gaze.

“Another one? You have all of the legos already!” 

“No, I needed more!”

“Mmm, no you didn’t.” Natasha says kissing your nose and squeezing you in another tight embrace. Your mother always made a point to be extremely affectionate with you. One thing you’ve always known without a doubt is how much she loved you. You wouldn’t know this for a long time but, every day she battled the fear of losing you to this grimy business she found herself tangled up in. Her days consisted of death, and near death, and… men. She’d never be able to forgive herself if her actions ended up getting you hurt. So, everyday when she got home she’d hold you close and relish in the fact that you were safe. 

Your head rested on her shoulder and you had your arms wrapped tightly around the back of her neck as she rubbed her hand along the length of your back. She entered the sprawling, open living room to find her best friend, Antonia, sitting on the couch scrolling on her cell phone. She raises her head at Natasha entering the room, “Hey Nat.”

“Hey”, she takes a seat on the couch facing the one Antonia rested on. “Thanks again for keeping an eye on her for me.”

“You mean like I do… all the time?”

“Yes, just like that,” Natasha grinned. 

“Nat, come on. You gotta stop that. What kind of aunt would I be if I didn’t take the time to corrupt– I mean spend time with my niece.” Your aunt winks at you. The redhead laughs at her friend. Natasha and Antonia had  been best friends for well, your entire life. Natasha immigrated from Russia with her mother, Melina, when she was 16. Her and her mother were very poor once they got settled into their new home. Melina, who was aspiring to lead a “prosperous, American life”, worked 3 jobs to make ends meet for the two of them which left Natasha with a lot of free time when she wasn’t in school. Skipping class is how she met Antonia. Antonia, being a wealthy mob heiress, was also left to her own devices very often and unlike her new best friend, she had the money to make whatever she wanted happen and get away with all of it. Naturally, the girls caused a lot of trouble.

A few months before Natasha’s 18th birthday, her mother tragically died in a work related accident. She worked for a piece of shit company that was barely surviving, resulting in Natasha getting next to no compensation for the accident. She was left with nothing and had no idea what to do. She leaned heavily on her best friend during this time.

Antonia was the daughter of the notorious Russian mobster mononymously referred to as Dreykov. He was one of the largest dealers and distributors of illegal weapons in New York. Natasha often reaped the benefits of the luxury that came with being Antonia’s plus one to every event. Dreykov was almost too excited to say yes when Antonia asked if Natasha could move in with them following her mother’s death since he seemed to be somewhat fond of the young redhead.

She thought turning 18 would be unicorns and rainbows. It turned out to be the exact opposite. Her best friend’s family is what kept her afloat. With access to a lot more money than she’d had in her entire life, Natasha threw herself into the party scene. She numbed herself night in and night out to evade the impending depression from her mother’s death. She figured she wouldn’t be sad if she just didn’t think about her. In the city, Natasha had a buzz surrounding her. Everyone wanted to get close to the red hot party girl. She was breathtakingly beautiful and always got whatever she wanted at the bat of her eyelashes. Her fast paced, reckless lifestyle comes to a screeching halt when Natasha comes face to face with two solid lines. A baby?! 

Natasha had been 18 for two months and it was already a fucking disaster. She spent a while weighing her options. She didn’t even have the slightest clue of what to even do with a child but, at the same time maybe it would be the fresh start she so desperately needed. So, with the support of the Dreykov’s, Natasha brought a beautiful baby girl into the world.

_______________________________________

Your mom plants a series of gentle kisses on your crown as you rest your head against her chest committing the sound of  her heartbeat to memory, “I hope she wasn’t too much trouble?”

“She never is, Nat. She definitely missed you though.”

“Yeah, I can tell. Y/n baby?”

“Yes mama?”

“Do you wanna build a lego robot?” Your head shoots off of her chest making her giggle at your wide eyed excitement.

“Yes! Let’s go! And we can have a robot lego tea party!” You climb out of her lap and grab her hands pulling her along with you. Your mom had been gone all day and you were so happy to have her back and having a robot lego tea party?!?. You two are stopped dead in your tracks when Bucky and Dreykov enter the living room. At the sight of the frightening Russian man, you hide behind your mom’s legs, hugging them tight. Dreykov was never particularly nice to you but merely accepted your presence because Natasha and Antonia seemed to care  for you so much. You stayed out of his way and everyone was happy with that.

“Hello Natasha”, he greets in a thick accent. “I need to speak with you”

“Can it wait? I promised Y/n that I’d spend a little time with her.” She lightly squeezed your shoulder reassuring you that you’re safe. You always were with her around. 

“No it can’t. Come to my office. Now.” He turns and exits leaving no room for argument. 

Natasha sighs and looks down at you to find you looking up at her with big shiny eyes. She squats down to be at your level and takes your hands in hers, kissing your palms. “I’m so sorry my love. I have to go handle a few things but, as soon as I’m free, we can have a robot lego tea party, okay?” You nod, having difficulty finding your voice. “I love you baby.” She plants a kiss on your forehead.

Antonia intervenes, “Y/n, I can help you get everything set up and I can play with you until Mommy comes back okay?” She reaches for your hand which you take following your Aunt upstairs, having no clue when the next time you would see your mom. Natasha lets out a frustrated sigh as she stands back up and raises her eyebrows nonverbally questioning Bucky. They begin to head to Dreykov’s office.

“He just wants to talk through raiding this deal. No need to worry.”

“You ratted me out didn’t you?”

“I didn’t necessarily rat you out per se… But, at the same time, maybe you’re been a little rash lately, no?”

“Spoken like a true rat!” They enter the large home office with floor to ceiling windows that look out over the city. The lights of Manhattan sparkle in the night, dramatically juxtaposing the palpable energy of the room. Dreykov is nursing a glass of scotch, neat as he sits back in his chair awaiting the arrival of the young woman. 

“What’s this about?” Natasha asks upon her entrance, her lack of patience showing.

“Is that any way to speak to me Natasha? You’ve become a very arrogant young woman these days and I know I taught you better than that, no?”

“You did, sir.” She clears her throat and grabs a seat across from him. Dreykov was never easy on her. He wasn’t easy on anyone. He had a lot of influence over most of the happenings in the city, both in the streets and politically. Natasha had grown to know him personally over the years of being friends with his daughter and she’d seen him take out even the mightiest of men. Frankly, that was why Natasha was shocked that he took her in. But, what he did later was not so shocking considering the man he was.

___________________________

2 years ago,

Natasha and Antonia sat at the grand dining room table having dinner and casually conversing. You sat in a booster seat in the chair next to your mom, trying to get more food in your mouth than on the table. The mood dropped substantially as Dreykov entered. 

“Natasha, may I speak with you for a minute, darling.” 

“Uh sure,” she looks at Antonia trying to piece together what he could want, receiving a shrug as an answer. “Can you keep an eye on her for me?” She asks her friend while lightly pinching your cheeks making you giggle.

“Of course”

Natasha redirects her attention back to Dreykov giving him a shy smile and proceeds to follow him to his grand office, sitting across from him. She can’t ignore that her heart was beating out of her chest. She’s lived with the Dreykovs for 3 years at this point and been friends with Antonia even longer and she’d never had a one on one conversation with the large man facing her. What could he possibly have to talk to her about? This is it. He’s gonna tell you to leave, she thought to herself. 

“Natasha, Natasha,” he drawls. “There’s a lot to admire about you, you know?”

“Thank you?”

“I see a young woman who will do big things in her future and I want to be a part of that.”

“I appreciate that sir. I’m curious about how do you see that happening?”

“You working for me.” Famously, Dreykov wasn’t one to beat around the bush.

“I’m sorry?” Her heart drops.

“I need someone exactly like you. You are very headstrong, charismatic, and direct. I could make a lot of money with you, Natasha. Compensating you very well, of course.”

“Mr. Dreykov, I appreciate the offer. I do. But, I can’t.”

“And why is that?” His poker face is unmatched.

“If it was just me, I would likely have no issue. Especially since you’ve done so much for me. But, I have a child to consider, sir and I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if my actions resulted in her getting hurt. It’s far too risky.”

“There seems to be a disconnect here, dear.”

“Is there?” It was obvious to her where this was going but she refused to be the one to vocalize it.

“Obviously. Because you seem to be under the impression that you have a choice.”

“I– don’t understand.”

Dreykov leans forward resting his elbows on his oak desk and joining his hands, “Let’s stop playing dumb here. You are indebted to me, Natasha. You can’t be stupid enough to believe that a man like me takes in young women and their children to entirely sustain them for years without payment. Can you?”

Natasha doesn’t dare speak. She replays his words in her head, making sure that she’s understanding correctly. 

“Don’t look so sad dear. I’ll cut you a deal. You’ve been living with us for 3 years, yes? You obviously can’t pay off a debt without there being interest. So, you work for me for 5 years and we’ll be even. I have a couple big deals that I need you for. You and I both make a lot of money, you take your brat and move to an island somewhere, everybody’s happy.” He explains as if it makes perfect sense.

“Sir–”

“I thought that I was clear that this wasn’t up for discussion.” He ends the discussion there. Just know, Natasha, if you fuck me over at any point, I’ll hit you where it hurts the most.”

Natasha’s jaw clenches and her eyes hold firm. He didn’t get to do this, “Sir, I’d really like to believe that you’re not threatening my 3 year old. Whatever this is between you and I is strictly that. If anyone as much as looks at her funny, I will raise hell.” The sudden realization that she may have just gotten herself killed strikes Natasha as she swallows hard, trying her damndest to remain stoic. 

Dreykov scoots his chair back, making Natasha jump at the scratching of the chair against the wood floors. He chuckled darkly. He goes to his barcart and pours himself a glass of expensive scotch, “That’s cute, Natasha”. He saunters to where she’s sitting erect, not even daring to blink. He yanks her hair back and his breath ghosts along her face, reeking of booze. “I’m glad you got that one out. But, if you pull that shit again, I’ll have your head on a stick. I think the place could use a little decoration. Don’t you?” He pushes away as he lets go of her hair and returns to his seat. “Now that that’s settled, you’ll be working under Barnes. Pay very close attention because he doesn’t like to repeat himself. You’re dismissed.” 

Tears sat on Natasha’s lash line waiting to rush over. She doesn’t quite remember getting up from his office. But she can place the feeling of needing to hold you impossibly close at that moment. You kept her afloat that night.

—---------

Present day, 

“You fucked up, Natasha.” Dreykov’s voice drips with venom.

“We didn’t need him sir. I have–” Dreykov’s hand slams on his desk effectively silencing the young Russian. “Enough! I don’t know what the fuck has gotten into you lately but these temper tantrums you’ve been throwing have been hurting my pockets. You were very sloppy.”

“I’m sorry sir. It felt like the right choice to make.”

“He was a long term investment Natasha and now we have very little and I’m very upset. What happened to you being level headed and methodical?”

“Am I not either of those things, sir?”

“You’re irrational, idiotic, and you have thinner skin than I thought. You’re going to fix this. Tonight.”

“But, sir–” 

“There’s no discussion to be had, Natasha. You both go to this pick up location and secure that load of merchandise before sunrise. If anyone even suspects that it was us, you’re dead. I don’t need anyone else sniffing around with this other shit I’m sorting. Go. Your car’s downstairs. Don’t be stupid. You’ll regret it. I assure you.”

She always said goodbye to you before leaving. She needed just a minute to run upstairs and give you a kiss and assure you that everything would be okay. “I need to go up–” 

“GO,” He growls at her. She rises and heads to the door with Bucky close behind. “Oh and Natasha?” She turns to meet Dreykov’s icy gaze. “You owe me...again,” The sinister smile he pulled is burned into her memory “For that stunt you pulled.” Natasha’s blood ran cold at the prospect of the possibilities. “And I will be collecting. Don’t you worry.” Natasha briefly looked at the floor before sharply turning her body and leaving the office. Bucky follows behind her, picking up on the fact that she doesn’t want to talk to him right now. Once the elevator door closes, Natasha lets out the shaky breath that she didn’t realize was causing the pressure in her chest. 

—------

Nat and Bucky had been staking out the storage crate at the exact location that was sent to the man that Natasha killed earlier in the night. They were at a private loading dock just outside the city.  A line of drool falls from Bucky’s mouth as his head hangs over the center console and his right hand rests on his thigh holding a cold cup of coffee. 

3 large black SUVs approach the storage container in question. Nat slaps Bucky’s forehead, “Wake up, Beethoven.” 

“Huh?” Bucky's head shoots up and he splashes coffee onto his jeans. “Damn it Nat!”

“Oh relax. Look,” She points over at the gun deal that’s commencing. Bucky sits up in his seat and wipes his face with the back of his hand and then wipes it on Nat’s sleeve. 

“You mother–” 

“Shut up and take the pictures.” She juts her jaw out while slowly turning her head back toward the people pouring out of the all black vehicles. She begins to capture images of as many faces as she can as well as who’s receiving what and the tracking numbers on the side of the large storage container. The plan was to gain intel and come back later well after they cleared out, to lift the guns. “Which one do you think is the boss?” Natasha asks.

“I can’t tell.” As if on cue, a man in an all black suit with all gold details steps out of the car. “Oh shit!” Bucky throws his head back. How in the hell did I get caught up in this, he thinks to himself.

“Is that.. Eric Killmonger?” Natasha asks, already knowing the answer she didn’t want to be true.

“Yep. Fuck! This is bad. You killed one of Killmonger’s men you fucking idiot!” Bucky squeezes his cup of coffee until the liquid bleeds through the paper.

“Shit!” Natasha buries her face in her hands and takes a very deep breath. She uncovers her face to reveal an emotionless expression. She needed to get out of this, “Look, they don’t know yet.”

“They have to know at this point Nat. We’re not dealing with small time guys like you thought. Killmonger knows everything. You still have the cell phone on you?”

“Yeah but I turned it off because I didn’t want it to be tracked.” She powers the phone back on to check whatshisname’s messages and she reads a text that sends a chill down her spine. 

Whoever you are, you’re dead. 

She turns the phone back off and drops it in her lap. 

“What did it say?” Bucky asks. 

“Nothing.” 

“Nothing?”

“You heard me.”

“Nat, give me the phone.” He clicks his teeth.

“No, it’s fine.”

“Natasha grow up. Give me the phone.” He reaches over into her lap and tries to take it from her hands. She snatches it away from his reach. “What could you possibly have to hide? Give it to me.” They swipe at each other, battling over the cell phone. As Bucky is reaching across Natasha’s chest, struggling to reach the device, his elbow knocks the car’s horn, effectively announcing their presence. “Fuck, drive!”

Nat starts the car, immediately puts it into gear, and lays her foot on the pedal to reverse the car. The tires screech as she swerves to turn  around and drive it in the opposite direction. Shots ring out from the men who were interrupted. 

“I’m gonna fucking kill you, Bucky”

“Drive faster before they do the honors for you. Go!” Bullets spray all around the car. The rear windshield shatters right before Natasha makes a quick left turn to speed away from the loading dock. The pedal is to the floor. The only sounds that could be heard was the roar from under the hood and the screeching of the tires. They speed down the long backroad making sure that no one is trailing them as they exit the property. They don’t stop until well after they’ve hopped back onto the highway and re-enter the city. They’re both unsure of whether or not they’ll live until the morning. Finally, they stop in a parking lot behind an abandoned warehouse. They both get out of the car. Nat begins to assess the damages while Bucky freaks the fuck out.

“Natasha what the fuck!”

“Don’t even act like this is my fault, you asshole!”

“Well, a lot of it is!”

“Can we come up with a plan to fix this shit rather than pointing fingers, please? I don’t have time to bicker with you!”

“There’s nothing we can do, Nat. You killed one of the biggest drug and gun smuggler’s men and now this. We blew our position to secure this deal and that was our shot to fix everything. You know that! We probably blew millions of dollars and Dreykov’s gonna kill us. We’re done.” He shrugs with finality.

“We could just run away. We can go grab Y/n and run.”

“Don’t be silly, Nat.”

 “I’m serious! I need to get out of here.”

“You don’t think he’ll hunt you down?”

“I’m sure he will, but I need to at least try to get as far away from here as I can. I need your help. Please Bucky! My child’s life is in jeopardy here.”

Bucky silently looks at his apprentice. He rests his face in his hand, trying to wrack his brain. He sighs exasperatedly, “I’m sure he already knows what happened tonight so we need to wait until he’s not around to grab the kid and go. Tonight we get everything ready. I’ve had fake passports made for us for a while now. We just need cash and disguises.”

“Thank you. Thank you. Thank you,” Natasha rushes to embrace Bucky. His body becomes rigid and he holds his arms out to the side, not hugging her back. Sensing this Natasha quickly removes herself, brushes off the front of her shirt, and awkwardly clears her throat, “Uh, sorry. I thought that’s where we hugged.”

“When have we ever hugged?!”

____________________________

Nat tries calling Antonia a number of times to ask her to help get a bag of essentials packed for you. She needed to slip right in, then right out, then run. But, she never gets an answer. Something’s definitely wrong. “She didn’t answer. Again.”

“She’s probably asleep, Nat. It’s 4 am.”

“No, she always answers. Any time of night,” Nat bounces her leg running scenario after scenario through her head of the things that could've happened to you. “I swear if I don’t find a happy healthy kid when I go in there. I’m burning this place the fuck down.”

“She’s gonna be okay, kid.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Let’s call it good faith.”

“I’m fresh out of that, Bucky.”

“How can you be so sure something’s wrong, Nat?”

“Let's just call it intuition,” she looks down at her hands/

“Well my intuition says otherwise,” He tries to feign indifference, hoping to calm his friend down.

“When has a man’s intuition not led us astray?” She waits for an answer. She snaps her fingers in his face, “Quickly.”

“No comment. Look, I’ll be the distraction. If he’s around, I’ll talk to him while you go grab the kid and slip out. Then, we’ll follow the plan. You go to the safe house and wait for me to get you. Got it?”

Natasha wants to believe him. It’s just that she knows Dreykov like the back of her hand. Bucky may have known him longer but Natasha was much better at reading people. Dreykov had always been a man of his word. What makes this time so different? They both exit the vehicle parked behind Dreykov’s building and creep up the backstairs that lead to a back door of the apartment. Bucky stays on the main level, looking for any sign of Dreykov. Natasha stealthily makes her way up the sprawling stairs. She takes them two at a time. Bucky quietly makes his way through the apartment. Everything’s completely dark and quiet. He silently steps down the main hall. As he comes around the corner to where Dreykov’s office was located, he spot’s the warm light spilling out from underneath the office door right away.

“Fuck!”, he huffs. He approaches the office door and takes a deep breath before knocking and entering. “Sir.”

“Ah James.” The vile Russian slurred. “Where’s that little bitch!?” he seethes. 

“She just wanted to go kiss her kid. I think she at least deserves that.”

“Good luck finding her!” Bucky freezes. He scans Dreykov’s face looking for any indications that Natasha would actually find you exactly where you were supposed to be. Dreykov laughs wickedly. “She knew she had only one strike left with me. I did what I had to do” He confirms.

Natasha nearly breaks the door off the hinges bursting into Dreykov’s office, “Where the fuck is my daughter?!”

“Hello to you, too, Natasha.” He takes a step toward her sporting a villainous smirk. Bucky’s head is head down and the color had drained from his face. “Grab a seat, please. Let’s talk.”

“Where. Is. She?”

He pretends to think about it forcing Natasha to clench her fists so tight, she nearly draws blood from her palms. “Not sure at this point if I’m being honest.”

“What did you do?” Natasha can feel her heart trying to break out of her chest.

“What any logical businessman would do” He shrugs. “I used her to pay off the debt that you caused. Who knows where in the world she is now. Hopefully somewhere sunny,” he laughs. Natasha begins to hyperventilate. Her tears no longer meet any resistance. 

“Ah cheer up, Natasha. I’m helping. You and I both know you aren’t the motherly type.” His voice suffocated the young woman. “That poor child sure did love you though. But, I did her a favor,” He raises the gun that had been in his hand. “She didn’t have to watch you die.”

[hintofelation99]

Batfamily sorted into Hogwarts houses?

Ooohhhh a classic, I love it! Tbh I have no clue how controversial my opinions are here, like honestly each member fits several houses well. So I just went with what felt best to me, but I'd love to hear other's opinions!

First let's go over the main traits of each house, these are the traits I will be focusing on.

Gryffindor -> Bravery, daring, nerve, and confidence

Hufflepuff -> Hard work, dedication, patience, loyalty, and fair play

Ravenclaw -> Intelligence, knowledge, curiosity, creativity, and wit

Slytherin -> Ambition, leadership, determination, cunning, and resourcefulness

Bruce

-> Hufflepuff: I feel like this one will be rather controversial and honestly it was pretty difficult to decide on. But I think his overall dedication to the mission is what sold it for me. Like that's one of his more consistent character traits, he values the mission above all else. And I don't think of that value or dedication as coming from a place of ambition, but rather a place of loyalty. Honestly Batman's relationship with Gotham really exemplifies both patience and dedication, at least it does in my mind. Hufflepuff is also sometimes thought of as the house that accepts all, so people who don't have a good designation can go there, which is pretty on point with Bruce adopting a shit ton of kids.

Dick

-> Gryffindor: This one might be a tad cliche, but I think that it fits. Because all of the batfam is daring and brave, but Dick takes so much joy from these traits. He’s known for defying gravity and having fun doing it. He’s also the typical confident older brother, like he definitely has insecurities but overall he’s a pretty confident guy. He’s a leader who paved the way for Robins and continues to protect the rights of young heroes. He’s known for being super protective of his family and is willing to make sacrifices for them. Also he brave enough to design a custom that had no pants and confident enough to run around in that costume.

Babs

-> Ravenclaw: Babs the oracle, she’s basically the definition of knowledge. She definitely exemplifies other houses as well but her dedication to knowledge and intelligence definitely put her in Ravenclaw for me. After being paralyzed a lot of people thought she would give up being a vigilante, but instead she turned information into a weapon and a shield. Instead of giving up she created a new and now invaluable position. She isn’t just smart, she’s clever and quick thinking, always ready for any situation.

Jason

-> Hufflepuff: Okay, so in a lot of ways Jason mirrors Bruce. He’s incredibly loyal to his home, has strict rules that he (mostly) stands by like don’t hurt kids and no abusers get no mercy (and yes I’m using the terms rules loosely here). But honestly what sold the whole ‘Jason is hufflepuff’ thing for me is how protective/kind his is of crime victims, specifically women and children. He was a crime lord who fought to for kids, who didn't tolerate abuse, and who protected prostitutes. And yeah that's all super brave and very Gryffindor-esque, but in my mind it all comes from a place of genuine kindness, and that's what makes him a Hufflepuff to me.

Cass

-> Hufflepuff: Cass is deadly, she could snap just about anyone like a twig, but she's also a complete cinnamon roll. She's a sweetheart who adores her family and, for the most part, likes people. Cass is kind and sweet and she literally booped Batman on the nose. Like if that isn't the most Hufflepuff thing, than I don't know what is. She's just the epitome of 'soft cute Hufflepuff,' but also never forget that she can easily kill you.

Tim

-> Ravenclaw: In my opinion (and I think also canonically but I'm not 100% on that) Tim is the smartest bat. Tim literally outsmarted Ra's Al Ghul and he figured out Batman's identity when he was just a child. And he's not just 'I know a lot of things' smart, he's cunning and knows how to plan for any outcome, how to out wit others, how to lie to Batman. Like in the Red Robin arc his Tim's side quest is outsmarting the league of assassins and pissing off Ras Al Ghul. That's such a Ravenclaw (and baller) move.

Steph

-> Gryffindor: Steph had the nerve to put on a purple suit, she was daring enough to hit Robin with a brick, and she was brave enough to become Batgirl even after her encounter with Black Mask. She's bold and shameless in all the best ways. Like Steph isn't the greatest fighter or most skilled bat, but she's bold and fearless and that's what makes her such a great hero.

Duke

-> Slytherin: This one took me forever to decide on, but I realized that Duke has all the smarts of a Ravenclaw and all the bravery of a Gryffindor. Traits that both fit perfectly into Slytherin. He's cunning and smart and an amazing leader and so determined. Duke lead the 'We Are Robin' movement and made his life goal to out riddle the Riddler. Honestly he's the perfect mix of smart and brave and really exemplefies the best of the Slytherin traits.

Damian

-> Slytherin: This one is a bit lack luster and a bit typical, but I do think it's fitting. He's cunning and ambitious and really values his heritage. Damian knows his life goals, he knows where his heritage can take him, and he will do anything to reach his full potential. And I do think that he has some Hufflepuff undertones, undertones that come out even more around animals and Jon, but overall he is a Slytherin.

And wowie, I'm done. This took waaayyyyyy longer than expected, so sorry for that. Honestly when I saw this ask I was like 'oh, cool, easy!' then I tried to answer and holy shit. I went back and forth so much and could not decide. So after many days and much thought this is what I ended up with. That being said I did really love this ask bc it was super fun.

Also srry if there are any typos but if I keep trying to edit this I will never finish bc I will keep changing my mind.

[shhhlikeme]

Getting Railed By Your Jealous Bf Ushijima After He Meets Your Childhood Ex (Who Wants You Back!)📱📞

———————————

Birthday Event Req By @juminly :

So I was trying to request the following >.<: a NSFW Ushi drabble with f!reader. Ushi being triggered by jealousy or something that happened between f!reader and someone else? I initially wrote a few kinks and you could go ahead with whatever inspires you! [cockwarming, face-sitting, blowjob, mirror sex, bondage, dirty talk or anything else tbh... and soft!dom!ushi]

———————————

A/N: I’m glad we overcame the technical difficulties for you to eventually send this req. hope you like it babes. I still have 2 more reqs from the event that shouldn’t take too long, thanks for being patient!

(NSFW 18+)

———————————

Getting Railed By Your Jealous Bf Ushijima After He Meets Your Childhood Ex (Who Wants You Back!)📱📞

———————————

Sooooooooo

It’s canon that Ushi is a very calm and collected bf

Your friends love him 💕

Your pet loved him 💕

And your family loves him

Or that’s what Ushi always thought...... until tonight.

You and Toshi went to your parents house for an elegant middle aged people dinner party they were throwing with all their friends from the neighborhood

Ushijima wore a suit and everything 💜💜💜 you wore in a beautiful green dress and small heels to match him

CUTIES

The dinner party was great: 🎶 classy , bougie, ratchet extremely classy haha 💎

Until.......

your parent’s best friends’ son—Jeremy—happened to be home too.

Actually , he surprised everyone, crashing the party unexpectedly

And he brought gifts🤨.

Making a huge entrance that had everyone screaming in delight and hugging him, Ushijima couldn’t help but feel a little jealous of the way your family fawned over your childhood friend

Your parents can’t help but gush over Jeremy, because they’ve always wanted you to marry him and move with him to America to study cosmetic surgery

In high school you two dated a little, but then you realized it was all for the benefit of your parents and you agreed to break up but remained distant friends

You were good with that , as you thought it was a mutual decision

But it wasn’t. Jeremy truly had feelings for you and they hadn’t stopped just because he moved away and finished med school

“These are for you, Y/N.” Jeremy smoothly handed you a bouquet of your favourite type of flowers

You hadn’t the heart to tell him your favourite type had changed since high school :S

“And Wakatoshi-san, I didn’t know you would be here. Apologies.” He shook his hand.

Ushijima’s face was hard. “I don’t know why I would not be.....?” He answered with a slight eyebrow raise, squeezing Jeremy’s hand right back.

Hose down that fire Y/N

Anyway, even though your parents like Ushi a lot, it was pretty obvious to you AND your boyfriend that both them + Jeremy’s parents never gave up hope that you two would one day get back together

Not to mention They were as subtle as elephants in a library

They got the fucking photo album, showing everyone including Ushijima pictures of you and Jeremy bathing together as babies and kissing before prom

SMFH!

“Oh, you live in Beverly Hills, now?” Your mom’s eyes sparkled at Jeremy as he showed her pictures of his mansion on his phone. “Y/N looooves that part of Los Angeles, don’t you, honey?”

You noticed Ushijima stiffen. He was thinking about the love of his life, you, living in LA in Jeremy’s ugly mansion and it pissed this Ace off.

You nodded slowly, giving your mom a warning glance. “Sure, when I was 15.”

“Hey Jeremy, your father told me last weekend that you know of bunch of players on the LA Rams?”

Jeremy nodded proudly. “Yes sir. A lot of their wives and mothers are patients of mine, so the starting line up usually sends me Christmas cards with season passes and signed memorabilia so that I up their women on the waiting lists. Whenever you’re in America and you’d like to go see a game, just let me know.”

You rolled your eyes at how loud your father exclaimed in joy. “I keep telling you to call me YF/N!” He clapped. “And that’s a real sport right there. Football, Baseball, Soccer. Everything else is a joke to real men.” Your father finished.

“DAD!” You chastised, stomping your foot under the table.

“What—?”

You glowered are him. “In case you FORGOT.....Ushijima happens to be a professional volleyball player.”

Your dad had clearly forgotten, trying to blubber out an apology. Ushijima interrupted him, putting a hand on yours to settle his furious girlfriend.

“That’s quite alright, sir. I took no offence to it.” Ushi was used to other men not recognizing volleyball as a manly sport—he is very confident so that didn’t bother him. Rather, what stung was the fact that your father had never asked Toshi to call him by his first name before, and you two had been dating for three years.

To your dismay, Yours and Jeremys parents continued to say annoying shit like that all night

Jeremy loved it 🙄

You hated it, and defended your man at any chance you got

Ushijima stayed silent through it all, trying to calm you down actually.

Like I said he’s confident and not easily shaken

He only had had enough when the conversation changed to Jeremy’s explanation of liking his life and his career but it all never seeming good enough because of “the one that got away” and how “she seems happy in a relationship now” but “he would do anything to get her back”

Meanwhile he’s sneaking heartfelt glances at you 🤬🤬🤬🤢

Your mother and father were doting, looking at you and eachother as if to say “come onnnnn Y/N give him another chance”

Ushijima picked up on it all.

At one point during Jeremy’s explanation of ‘the one that got away’ you stuck your finger down your throat to make a gagging noise childishly

YOUR PARENTS WERE NOT HAPPY LMAO

anyway, at the end of the night you said bye to everyone..... and Jeremy asked to speak to you in private on the empty porch

Ushijima watched with a locked jaw by the car, leaning on it so he could stare openly

He was justly heated as he watched the conversation (but couldn’t hear anything) happening on the porch at night

He witnessed Jeremy write down what had to be his number and hold it in front of you for you to take

You hesitated, not sure if you should take it just to avoid causing more waves with both parents or to stomp on his foot

Luckily you didn’t need to do either because Ushijima had silently stormed over in a millisecond, whisking the paper from Jeremy’s hand, staring at his number written on the paper before crumbling it and throwing it over his shoulder.

“She doesn’t need it. Goodnight, Jeremy.”

Ushi grabbed your hand and walked you to the car angry af, you had to jog in your heels to keep up with him

This man was maaad and silent the whole way home, thinking about how everyone seems to be so sure that your ex could have given you a better life

He still held your hand the entire drive though, so clearly he wasn’t mad at you ❤️

He hated that everyone liked this Jeremy better all because he went down the conventional path to success:

Hadn’t Toshi paid for everything? Hadn’t Toshi massaged your feet? Hadn’t Toshi made you extremely happy? Hadn’t they seen how you were treated? Did you believe someone could do better?

Nonsense.

Toshi knew that he was the BEST boy and that no one could dare love you more or treat you better....... and you tended to agree

But Toshi needed to hear you say it.

He needed to feel it, too.

Upon arriving at yours & Toshi’s gorgeous modern home:

Toshi hurriedly closed the door

you hadn’t even fully taken off your heels yet when you felt your boyfriend pressed himself against you from behind, lifting your dress up and rubbing his long hard cock print on your pantied pussy lips as you bent over

You moaned and started to get wet immediately

“Take off the panties.” He ordered.

you did obviously 😭 almost tripped with how fast you did it

Horny bish lol

Your boyfriend then picked you up in his strong arms and walked a few steps into the foyer, placing you so your ass was sitting on the 7th marble stair. He knelt down in between your legs and spread them while you sat on the staircase

He squeezed your ass in his large hands and dove into your pussy with his lips then tongue, immediately skipping the gentle licks... and tongue fucking your entrance into oblivion

His tongue was wet, strong and needy and fuck you choked on your own cries

You threw your head back, already screaming Ushi’s name

“Mmm scream my name just like that. Let everyone hear who you belong to.” He paused tongue fucking you to order.

you shuddered as you felt his warm breath on your clit and Ushi expertly enclosed his mouth around your sopping cunt, French kissing your clit into his mouth and sucking on it like a tiny lollipop

You tugged on his hair and screamed his name louder, feeling your interior walls clench

Once your legs started shaking because you were about to fall over the edge, Ushi picked you up again, making you wrap your legs around his waist

Toshi bent down quickly to empty his pockets which consisted of his keys, wallet, and his phone, placing it where you were just sitting when he was eating you out

Ushiwaka pressed your back against the wall beside the staircase.....

He held your entire body weight with one arm as he leaned in to kiss your neck, using his other hand to unbuckle his belt and kick his pants off

When he was freed & nude, he asked you kindly if you were ready and once you nodded he put one of his feet on the sixth stair, the other on the fifth, then thrusted deep into your soaking heat

He wasted no time in pounding you into the wall, the slight pain of the hard wall and your boyfriend’s hard dick somehow heightening the pleasure factor

Ushijima took both of your wrists in his gigantic hand and locked them above your head as he gave you nice and deep thrusts the way you both like it

“So fucking wet. All because of me, correct? I’m the only one who makes your pussy drip like this.”

Your pussy answered:💧 💧💧💧💧💧💧💧

Your vaginal walls squeezed around his dick and you bit his shoulder because the pleasure disallowed you to speak and Ushi groaned out

“Say. This. Tight. Pussy. Is. Mine.” He grunted as he circled his hips a bit while pounding, his voice grave.

Toshi picked up the pace as your soaking wet walls clenched around him even more from his dirty talk.

“Say. Who. This. Pussy. Belongs. To. Beautiful.”

You were being fucked too well, you couldn’t speak, you could only moan ... like usual

But your boyfriend wasn’t having any of that tonight.

He let go of your captive wrists and held you with both hands again, stepping downstairs and stopping in front of the large mirror in your foyer, turning so that only you could see yourself poking over his large shoulder, along with your boyfriend’s fine juicy ass and back calf muscles 🤤

Ushi grabbed the back of your neck (not enough to hurt) but just enough so that your head was up and you were looking at yourself in the mirror. He began to fuck you again, getting nice and deep in your pussy as he made you bounce on his dick in his arms

“Are you seeing yourself?” He laughed sexily. “Getting dumb-fucked, Princess? Whose dick are you taking, Y/N?” Wakatoshi groaned as your pussy clenched around him even more. He could tell you were about to cum and that he wouldn’t be long after. But he needed to hear you say something first.

“Who is your first choice, Y/N? Who fucks you like this every night? Who’s dick can you never get enough of? Me? Or Him?”

In your stupor, you watched yourself in the mirror: Toshi’s delectable ass flexing as he pushed in and out of you, feeling his strong hand gripping your neck. You weren’t a big talker during sex and bae knew that, but the amazing feeling of this angry jealous sex was too much, his big dick felt too fucking good..... and one particularly hard thrust from him that grazed your g-spot in the besssst way gave you the energy to cry out;

“YOU, TOSH. FUCK THAT JEREMY, HE COULD NEVER FUCK ME LIKE YOU DO. OR TAKE CARE OF ME LIKE YOU DO. I DON’T WANT OR NEED ANYONE ELSE BUT YOU. YOU’RE THE BEST BOY WITH THE BEST DICK. NO ONE CAN EVEN C-COME CLOSE TO YOU. YOU —OH, OH, OH MY GOD, I’M GONNA—“

Wakatoshi let go of your neck, landing soft kisses on your neck while he returned to gripping your ass with both hands now, sliding you up and down his long, hard, soaking wet dick from your juices.

It felt so fucking good 😩

“That’s right princess. I’ve heard enough, baby. I knew it: I just needed to hear you say it. Now cum for me.”

when you did, you made sure to scream out all the praises you always told toshi when you weren’t getting fucked, making him feel like a King, reassuring him that your mind, body, and soul belonged to him and NO ONE else.

Wakatoshi found his release soon after from your pussy but also from your words, shooting his thick cum up inside you for you to take as he caressed your back and whispered how much he loved you in your ear.

Then, as you laid limp in his arms, he left his cock to stay warm inside you and went back to the stairs, fully prepared to go head up and bathe you, then put you to bed.

But as he passed the sixth step, though, Toshi bent down to pick up his keys, wallet and phone that he’d set there.

As you fell asleep on his shoulder, Ushi grinned at his phone screen, pressing send to the voicemail message he’d just recorded.

Whoops 😏 must have accidentally butt-dialed someone before fucking you and left a long message by accident

😕ohno😕

With a photographic memory, it wasn’t difficult for the Ace to remember such a plastic surgeon’s phone number when Ushi saw it on the note.....

And Toshi could explain to you how sorry he was that he’d accidentally dialed it before railing you to sleep on the stairs and in the foyer

But truth be told, your boyfriend’s only real regret would be not being able to see the look on Jeremy’s face when he listened to it on his flight back home.

Bday Event Masterlist

[emmys-writing]

Beg For Me

chapter one

-> next chapter

summary: Spencer is a cam boy who’s neighbor watches his live streams.

warnings: Sex toys, smut, spencer in panties <3, spencer is a little shit tbh, this one is short but the next ones will be longer. this one is just so you kinda figure out spencer’s personality and what he does.

pairing: Hotch x Reid

———

Spencer stood outside the new house with boxes of his belongings surrounded around him. Over the last few years he was able to save up enough money to pay for a home of his own in a fairly nice neighborhood with the earnings he got from his R rated live streams, he couldn't be more proud of himself. His weakness overshadowed the joy of a new home though. Spencer knew his lanky arms wouldn't be able to carry in all of the boxes but just in time he felt a tap on his shoulder. Spencer turned around to be faced with a man, quite possibly twice his age but attractive nonetheless.

“Well i'm Aaron Hotchner, i live just across from you. I just came over to see if you needed any help moving boxes inside?" The man he now knew as Aaron offered. Spencer couldn't be more grateful for the amazing timing.

"That would be great! Do you mind carrying some of the heavier boxes in for me? you clearly are a lot stronger than me" The younger man joked, biting his lip and looking towards some of the boxes. Aaron agreed, picking up two boxes and moving them into the house.

That was the first day Spencer and Aaron met.

Now about 3 months later Spencer had started his own little game with Mr. Hotchner from across the street. Aaron over the past few months made his attraction towards the younger boy very noticeable, whether he knew it or not. Spencer got satisfaction from knowing a much older man thought of him in such a way. The man would often go outside in the pants he knew made his ass look good, or dress in something that showed off his body well if he knew Aaron was outside just to get the experience of seeing the other rush inside with a small tent in his jeans. He never planned on actually doing anything about it but he enjoyed the teasing. The teasing only got more fun when Spencer noticed a person going by the username “BigH1971” join his streams.

Spencer grabbed everything he would need from his toy chest, placing it on the bed and going to his closet. Spencer picked out purple silk panties and white thigh high socks and quickly dressed himself in the clothing. He looked at himself in the full length mirror before sitting infront of his laptop and starting the stream. Spencer waited a few minutes for people to start joining. As soon as “BigH1971” joined he got on with the show because that was who he was really wanting. Spencer held up two different dildos, one pink and thick possibly five inches, he doesn’t remember because he bought it a while ago, and the other one purple, still thick but probably 7 inches.

“Which one should i use?” he asked, starting to palm himself through the purple panties while he waited on the answers.

pink

purple

purple

pink

there was a mix of answers but as soon as he got Aaron’s answer he grabbed the purple one and starting lubing it up.

“I’m sorry i didn’t stretch my hole on camera” he said, giving a pout to the camera and pushing his panties to the side.

“i just couldn’t wait, i was so horny so i had to this morning” Spencer placed himself above the silicone toy, pressing the head of it in his hole. Spencer let out an over exaggerated moan at the feeling before sinking himself down about halfway

“It’s so big, stretching me so good, sir” he said to the camera before entering the rest of the toy inside. Spencer slowly started to bounce on the toy, almost forgetting the camera on him. He opened his eyes, making eye contact with the camera as he sped up his pace.

“Can i touch myself? Please? i need it so bad” he begged, looking down towards the comment section on screen. There was a mix of yes and no’s but mostly yes so he reached a hand down to his small cock, one of the many reasons the men and women on his stream watched, and started to jerk himself off. Spencer continued the bounces while he rubbed over the red tip of his cock. All Spencer could think of is what Aaron’s cock would feel like inside him, how full he would make him feel. He also wondered what Aaron would do to him, would he hit him? spank him? degrade or praise him? what does he like to be called? the thoughts of what Aaron might be like in bed was so much for him that white dribbles of cum dripped from his tip. It looked pathetic, he couldn’t cum like a real man would, like Aaron. Spencer smirked and wiped the cum from his cock, bringing his fingers to his lips and sucking. Maybe he could invite Aaron over for ice cream one day and do the same thing. Maybe Aaron would see him do it and bend him over. Just maybe he could get Aaron to do a show with him?

[purrincess-chat]

Cat’s Definitive Ranking of Every ML Episode as of 4/22/21

Are you guys ready for this? I did the thing. You’re all welcome. Don’t ever ask me for anything again. You can watch me get progressively more unhinged in real time. 

Now, just to preface this, I did not give this too much thought. Most of these are just my gut feelings. I went through every episode and just made some snap judgments based off the lasting impressions I’ve been left with. These are my opinions. If you don’t like them, tough. And also I don’t care. Go spend 4 hours making your own damn ranking. And shut the hell up. Anyway, this is probably the longest post I’ve ever made, so I’m gonna put it all under a read more. Click on it if you have an hour to read it. Okay, here we go!

1.     Origins II- Good starting point for our heroes. Good establishment of canon ships and character dynamics. Umbrella scene literally stole my wallet. Cannot emphasis enough that I am whipped for the umbrella scene. I wrote a whole ass AU just to say how whipped I am for the umbrella scene. In the Rain will play at my wedding. Jk. Weddings are for suckers. But dammit if I don’t want these kids to get married. 10/10

2.     Origins I- Good introduction to lore. Good introduction to characters. Good establishment of status quoyo. Just good. 10/10

3.     Simon Says- Listen, I am nothing if not a shipper at heart. This episode just sparks joy. And the whole series almost ended when Gabriel almost jumped off the roof. I was really rooting for this one. This was the episode where I saw Ladrien and went yes, ma’am, I’ll have one of those. 10/10

4.     Evillustrator- Are you all surprised? Cat, the MC-skeptic ranked the pivotal MC episode so highly? Well, let me tell you all a thing, I started this fandom out a MC shipper because of this episode. Their first interaction is gold. I don’t deny that. I enjoy it. This is the MC dynamic I fell in love with. Yall toxic shippers ruined MC for me when you opened your mouths and spat in the face of Ladrien and baselessly declared MC the sin-ship. We all know it’s Ladrien. Stop kidding yourselves. Boy in leather catsuit? Please. Basic ass vanilla bitches. I’m getting off-topic. Solid episode 10/10. We love to see it.

5.     Stormy Weather- Baby’s first Miraculous episode. It holds a special place in my heart. It’s a solid episode. Good establishment of what the show is. Fun villain. Good times. Fond memories. 10/10

6.     Riposte- Listen, I know I’m an Adrinette stan, but hear me out: Ladrien. It’s just so good. And Kagami was compelling in this episode. It was just really solid. It’s my favorite s2 episode. If you ask me if I want to rewatch Riposte, the answer is always yes. 10/10. We stan.

7.     Gorizilla- Okay, so this episode has some solid Adrinette in it, but the real reason it ranks so high is that fucking Ladrien trust fall. I stare at that scene for hours, you guys. HOURS. It is absolutely just *chefs kiss*. Sometimes when I need a pick-me-up, I just go watch gifs of that catch on loop. 10/10. Beautiful. Radiant. Carefree.

8.     Gang of Secrets- I have been keeping most of my opinions to myself about s4 (mostly because I’ve backed way the hell out of this fandom), but GoS was pretty solid. Gotta say, it’s the first episode in a long time with this show that made me actually excited to see what happens next. Most other episodes I was like, okay, that was cute. The show is still meh overall. But GoS really got me like oh shit, is ML good again? 10/10 for making me feel things again.

9.     Oblivio- Told you guys this one was probably rated higher than I thought. Oblivio is just really fun. There is good Adrinette. That “No wonder I fell in love with you” paired with the softest of Adrien smiles just sends me. And the kisses. The unquestionable trust. These two kids literally woke up together alone in an elevator with no memories and said welp, you’re my boyfriend/girlfriend obviously, I don’t make the rules. Honestly, how anyone could argue that these two dorks aren’t made for each other after that episode is beyond me. 9/10

10.  Backwarder- Okay, I know I am weird and alone for this one, but I really liked this episode. It got a lot of shit for the constipation capsule thing at the end, but like who cares? We finally got some more backstory on Fu. He got a love-interest who is dope as hell. This episode is my favorite lucky charm use ever. Like that queen DID that. I like Backwarder, guys! Fuck off. 9/10.

11.  Kwamibuster- We all know I am a Marinette-stan by this point, but our girl was SHINING this episode. This bitch said gimme all them and let me go whoop this bitch’s ass, and she DID. Hawkmoth could never. Multimouse is a gift, and Marinette is a boss ass queen.  9/10

12.  Chat Blanc- Listen, this episode was very good. I enjoy the idea of my children being happy in another timeline somewhere very much. We got all 4 sides of the square in an episode. It’s just really solid. I know this is the fandom’s favorite, and everyone is gonna shit their pants because it didn’t make my top 10, but this is my list. So, I put it at number 12. It’s good. I like it. It just didn’t steal my wallet like other episodes did. Put the pitchforks down. It’s gonna be okay, you can still love it more than me. 8/10

13.  New York Special- I know everyone felt some type of way about this special, but I wasn’t mad at it. My perception of it might be clouded because I watched it in Disney World where I was chilling and having a great time, but like this special really did somethings for me. The Adrinette was top tier. Tippy top tier. Even though they hurt us in the end, I am okay with it because it just means the children will grow and come out stronger. I don’t care if it’s not technically canon. Ask me if I give a fuck. I don’t. I had fun here. 8/10. Solid.

14.  The Collector- This one might shock a lot of you, but let me paint you a scene. It’s the first episode of s2. We have just come off a 2 year hiatus. The fandom is thriving. We’re hungry for canon content. We have hopes and dreams and expectations. Everyone is going wild with theories. This episode confirmed something that was long since obvious (in my opinion) and ended the stupid arguments people had been having. It made Gabriel actually seem semi-competent. We got our first taste of how Chat/Adrien will react to his dad being Hawkmoth. We got a peek at their life. Adrien’s isolation and sadness. They were so close to figuring it out. The battle was epic. Like Collector really had them on the ropes there for a second. It’s a solid episode, yall. I’m not wrong. Hate me all you want, but this episode brought it. 8/10

15.  Despair Bear- Is this episode up this high because of the Adrinette slow dance scene? YOU BET YOUR ASS IT IS. Okay, but fr though, shipping aside, this episode gave us hope that Chloe was actually gonna redeem herself. I mean, she didn’t but, we didn’t know that at the time. Seeing her run around trying to be nice was fun. And then she actually did something good, and we had a moment of okay, she’s capable. We’ll get there. We didn’t. But what a ride this episode was for making us think she would. 8/10

16.  Startrain- Cat, you’re just ranking all the Adrinette episodes highest. And? What of it? Are you surprised? You clicked a blog that has simping for Adrinette in the description, and you’re surprised all my favorite episodes have Adrinette? I’m not wrong, you’re just an idiot. The Adrinette nap cuddles aside though, this was a pretty good episode. If you don’t think too hard about the whole space thing, we got a look at Max’s life, his mom is a driven, smart lady doing her best. Adrien rebels against papa for once. Alya stops a Lila scheme. Chloe gets to play the hero. Alya and Nino actually investigate like the heroes they are. Gabriel gets to realize what a dumbass bitch he is. I mean. Guys. Startrain is solid. 7.5/10

17.  Sapotis- This one shot up in rank for me after GoS, but tbh it’s always been a solid episode. Alyanette sleepover? Check. Alya becoming a superhero? Check. It’s a fun episode. And looking back, it’s nicely called back to later in GoS. We love it. 7.5/10

18.  Sandboy- Idk why I enjoy this episode as much as I do, but I do. Sandboy is a cute bean. I love his aesthetic. We also get hilarious looks at everyone’s nightmares. “Plagg, who turned you into a sock?” cracks me up cause like Adrien, bby, no XD And Chat Noir’s nightmare. I think it would have been interesting though if since Sandboy dusted the Agreste mansion, if we got a peek at Hawkmoth’s nightmares. It would have been a nice hint of plot to go along with Master Fu’s nightmare. Also Plagg giving the akuma the slip like the clever boy we know he is deep down? 7.5/10

19.  Furious Fu- If you guys haven’t realized by now that I love Fu, idk what you’re doing. Pay attention. I know that some people don’t like him, but I’m just gonna say it, you’re wrong. Fu took care of the Miracle Box for over 100 years, and this episode kind of gives some insight to what the Order was like. Very strict. Lots of rules. And ya know what, Fu said fuck the police, I’m gonna befriend these little magical demigods, and fuck off! Like what an absolute legend. I was really happy to see him living his best life, and that he and Marianne got married because it’s what he deserves. We love to see it. 7.5/10

20.  Gamer- People like to shit on Marinette in this episode, but like honestly, if I were in her shoes, I’d have probably done the same thing if I had the skill. Ain’t nothing wrong with a girl trying to spend time with the boy she likes. And Tom and Sabine being absolute shipping trash. I love them. And the awkward Adrinette. The introduction of the lucky charm that Adrien STILL carries. Wholesome. This was a good episode for their friendship, and we love to see it. 7.5/10

21.  Christmaster- Okay, I know a lot of people hated this episode when it aired, but I thought it was really funny? Everyone skidding around in the ice rink was hilarious. If you don’t take this episode seriously, it’s really fun. Chris is pretty cute, and damn right Ladybug is the best kid in the world. Idk. This episode is fun. I’m not mad at it. Sue me. 7.5/10

22.  Weredad- What? Another MC-heavy episode in Cat’s top 30? Listen, I don’t hate canon MC. The fans just annoy me. This episode was funny. The secondhand embarrassment and cringe was real. Plagg taunting Adrien because he knows the secret was great. Marinette being a self-saving queen was great. It’s a good episode. I like MC, you guys. I do. I swear! 7.5/10

23.  Miraculer- This episode was interesting to me, and I think it’s still a good development episode. For one, Sabrina finally got her own akuma episode named after her. Secondly, because it’s a big step for Chloe, just not in the way we expected. It totally makes sense that Chloe can’t have her Miraculous back because literally everyone knows her identity. Can’t argue that logic. And she is the first person to ever refuse to become akumatized, so like mad respect. I know a lot of people had high hopes for redeemed Chloe (myself included), but I think watching a character fall from revering someone to hating them is also an interesting path. The friends to enemies arc as it were. Idk. I liked this episode. It was an opportunity for Chloe to grow, even if she didn’t in the end, but we’ll talk about that later. 7.5/10

24.  Lady Wifi- I like Alya. I feel like I don’t say that much, and people make some assumptions because of MDCSP, but MDCSP is just a concept I wanted to explore. It doesn’t really reflect how I feel about any one character. Except maybe Lila. And Gabe. But every other spite fic I’ve written branching from Chameleon, the class has been fine. Alya has been fine. So, let it be known that I like Alya. Lady Wifi was a fun episode. Putting aside the fact that she thought Chloe was Ladybug for no reason, I like her akuma. I like the interactions we get with LadyNoir in this episode. After GoS, this episode gets a bit funnier. It’s solid. 7/10

25.  Dark Cupid- I don’t have much to say about this one. LadyNoir. That’s it. That’s the tweet. Send it. 7/10

26.  Volpina- So many things about this episode. It introduced a new antagonist who we didn’t exactly 100% know was going to be an antagonist at the time. This episode sparked a lot of fun fan theories for a while. Who was Lila? How was she going to shake things up? Not to mention this episode gave us a taste of plot and lore, and set up Marinette meeting Master Fu officially. Lots of intrigue sparked from this episode. And that LadyNoir door scene? OOOOOO 7/10

27.  Hearthunter- One word: Adrigaminette. This episode was so cute for them! I loved seeing them all goofing and running around together. Adrien and Kagami being absolutely in love with Marinette when her hair is down. They both love her, I don’t make the rules. Not to mention, Marinette takes a big step by letting her friends be happy without her. Kagami not wanting to hurt Marinette. The drama!! Gabriel being a messy ass bitch to his friends. It loses points for the abomination of an akuma, but overall, I wasn’t too mad at it. Yet. 7/10

28.  Glaciator- More MC in Cat’s top 30? It’s more likely than you think. Listen. Listen… Listen. MC is fine. This episode was the closest thing to fanfiction that we got. The balcony scene was really sweet. I was drinking the irony. We got introduced to Andre the icecream fraud. Andre the please just give me the flavor I asked for man. I could have done without Chat pouting, but the LadyNoir in the end was pretty good. I wish they’d done more with Ladybug’s feelings for Chat. Had her question herself a bit more after this one, but overall, it’s cute. 7/10

29.  Zombizou- A lot of people started hating Mlle. Bustier after this episode, and like I can kind of see it, if I squint, but I did not draw that same conclusion from this episode. Mlle. Bustier just wants good things for all of her students. They’re 14 ffs, she just wants to be a good influence on all of her students and wants them all to be successful. But go off, I guess? Plus, this episode was basically just a spoof on zombie apocalypse movies. We got so many things. Julerose, Myvan, DJWifi. Chloe actually showing some depth and emotion. LadyNoir. We won this episode, babes. Sorry you didn’t get the memo. 7/10

30.  Timetagger- Okay. This is the last episode in the ones that I’d venture to call “good.” Number 30. I enjoyed Timetagger. I know people have feelings about timey-wimey bullshit, and like I’m not gonna lie and say I’m thrilled with it either (I mean, I changed the rabbit’s power in MDCSP) but that being said, Timetagger was so sassy. Bunnix was cool as hell. We get to see that LB and CN are still doing the thing in the future. So many questions sparked from this episode. It was fun. Idk. I liked it. That’s all I got. 7/10

31.  Malediktator- Okay, from this point on, less comments because this is the section that are more or less just meh to me. Like they’re fine. This episode was fine. Chloe was fine. Chat playing with the laser was cute. 6.5/10

32.  Mayura- Adrien’s speech at the end. Nuff said 6.5/10

33.  Ikari Gozen- Ryuko/Ryuuko. Gals being pals. 6.5/10

34.  Reflekdoll- I talked about this earlier, but I don’t hate this episode. It’s not as bad as people make it out to be. Sue me. 6.5/10

35.  Anansi- Nino is the goodest boy. Also I need more of the gang taking Adrien on adventures via Facetime. Stat. 6.5/10

36.  Shanghai- This one is new, and tbh I still haven’t watched it with subs, but I had a good time. Fei was cute. The boy squad was cute. Adrien bonding with Great Uncle Cheng was cute. Hawkmoth getting literally dunked on was *chefs kiss* 6.5/10

37.  Gigantitan- I love overly supportive, ride-or-die girl squad. 6.5/10

38.  Party Crasher- Idk why this episode was funny to me. Kim is the purest bean. We don’t deserve him. 6.5/10

39.  Desperada- This episode was an emotional roller coaster, and even though we all collectively hate Aspik’s stupid egghead, we love the Ladrien this episode provided us. 6/10

40.  Oni-chan- Listen, I loved seeing Lila get a tiny bit of karma even if she made it up in the end. I loved Chat going off on her. I loved seeing her get outsmarted in the end. 6/10

41.  Frightningale- My good lesbian Clara Nightingale. We stan. 6/10

42.  Style Queen- I like Audrey in a “she’s the worst person I’ve ever met, I want to travel the world with her” kind of way. She’s funny to me. Idk. I love her firing everyone. She’s the one I love to hate. She’s the worst, but we love her for it. Plus this episode gave us Plagg’s adorable little Cataclysm that destroyed half the city. 6/10

43.  Gamer 2.0- Chat confidently strutting in heels made this episode worth it. And we get to see the beginning of Marinette being overwhelmed. Plus it was the return of gamer!nette. 6/10

44.  Troublemaker- I don’t hate this episode as much as the next person either. It was fine. Jagged is a manchild, but we love him for it. He’s a Marinette stan which like mood. The Adrinette at the end was cute. I wasn’t mad at it. Idk. It’s fine. 6/10

45.  Reflekta- Where are all my Juleka stans at? I loved the LadyNoir banter in this ep. V. cute. 6/10

46.  Dark Owl- This episode was fun. And it really shows their level of trust. Plus Plagg and Tikki interacted. 6/10

47.  Timebreaker- Have I ever mentioned that I like Alix? I like Alix. 6/10

48.  Silencer- I don’t hate this episode as much as you’d expect me to, and that is 100% because of the LadyNoir. 5.5/10

49.  Prime Queen- Chat purrs. 5.5/10

50.  Syren- I think the fish power-up is adorable. Ondine is a gem. Kim is a pure bean, but we been knew. 5.5/10

51.  Befana- I like Gina, but this episode fell flat for me. Almost as flat as the animation. 5.5/10

52.  Reverser- Another episode that everyone hates that I am actually fine with. This episode made me like Nathaniel more. Probably because I was previously indifferent toward him. Marc is cute too. 5.5/10

53.  Mr. Pigeon- Marinette is one clever girl. And the Adrinette hand-touch. 5.5/10

54.  Felix- Felix is a gremlin of chaos. A true chaotic neutral. He gives his uncle the finger, and I think that’s beautiful. 5.5/10

55.  Truth- Bet you expected this episode to be higher. While I did enjoy watching toxic people’s world crumble, this episode still gets a meh from me dog. 5/10

56.  Lies- The Adrigami was cute, and I respect Kagami as a character. The akuma could have been better tho. 5/10

57.  Princess Fragrance- Not much to say here. 5/10

58.  Copycat- 5/10

59.  Bubbler- 5/10

60.  Mime- 5/10

61.  Animan- 5/10

62.  Robostus- 5/10

63.  Ladybug- This episode ranks this low purely because I don’t care about GabeNath, and I hate that Lila won something in the end. But Adrien saying I won’t hesitate, bitch! At the end was nice to see. 5/10

64.  Catalyst- I know I ranked Mayura way higher, but Catalyst fell flat for me. Like it was fine. Wasn’t as into it though. 4.5/10

65.  Puppeteer- One of my favorite lucky charm uses. 4.5/10

66.  Pixelator- My favorite Cataclysm. 4.5/10

67.  Horrificator- That almost-Adrinette kiss tho 4.5/10

68.  Pharaoh- 4.5/10

69.  Kung Food- 4.5/10

70.  Rogercop- 4/10

71.  Guitar Villain- 4/10

72.  Dark Blade- 4/10

73.  Bakerix- 4/10

74.  Antibug- And now onto the bottom 10. To start us off, I will just say: UGH, this episode annoyed me. First of all, Sabrina didn’t even get her own episode. Chloe was a piece of shit. Idk why they made Ladybug the one in the wrong when Chloe was being obnoxious. Ugh. 3/10

75.  Captain Hardrock- I’m gonna be honest. My apathy for this episode has grown into loathing. Toxic stans are 100% to blame. Birthday ruining, bitches. This is the reason I threw a breakup bash after Truth. Yall deserved it. 3/10

76.  Christmas Special- I didn’t hate this episode as much as everyone, but it still wasn’t great. 2.5/10

77.  Stormy Weather 2.0- This episode was really dumb. It didn’t need to exist. 2.0/10

78.  Queen Wasp- Why did we give Chloe a Miraculous after this episode? 2/10

79.  Animaestro- Did we really need a self-insert? Did we really? 2/10

80.  Puppeteer 2.0- Listen, this episode would have made more sense in s1 or at the very latest early s2. Adrien gave a whole ass speech on how great Marinette is, then he turns around and is like idk if she likes me… Clean it up. 2/10

81.  Miracle Queen- I could talk at length about how much I hate the ending of this episode and what they did with Chloe and Master Fu, but we’re just going to remain calm and give it a solid 1.5/10

82.  Frozer- This episode made no goddamn sense. I call bullshit on so many things. Just ugh. 1/10

83.  Chameleon- Surprisingly, even though this episode sparked many, many spite fics out of me, it’s not my least favorite because at least Ladybug semi-redeemed this episode. Still really dumb and ooc tho. 1/10

84.  Feast- Okay, okay, okay, here we are. Bottom of the barrel. Cat’s most hated episode, and you wanna know why? You want to know why this episode fills me with the rage? Because we spent two fucking seasons building up all this mystery and lore and intrigue surrounding Fu’s big mistake, and they dropped the fucking ball! They did my mans so dirty! They could have really deepened his character, deepened the Order, deepened anything other than whatever fucking affair Gabriel and Nathalie have going on, but NO. They made it some stupid, bland-ass thing that got resolved magically in the end, then just ignored it for the rest of the season. I will never not be salty about how they did my boy Fu in this show. I’m happy he found his peace, but fuck if I’m not livid about how they did it. Whatever. Chat being done with Ladybug’s shit when they’re about to get eaten was funny I guess. .5/10

[bisluthq]

maybe this is a dumb question but nat, are you sure you're not trans? or have like a dysmorphia thing? because you project into men a lot, in like every aspect (i'm sorry if this is like rude or intrusive, feel free to not answer)

Defs not lmao like I’m VERY cis lol. I’ve thought about it SO MUCH. Like first things first: I write as a persona - it reflects on me obviously but like y’all don’t know me tbh and I do explain that frequently. Next like why I know I’m very cis: in terms of who I like being friends with primarily, how I think, how I behave, how I dress, how I style myself etc I’m VERY effeminate and very fucking cis. Like Kinsey 0 gender vibes which are rare in someone as gay as me. I can barely wear pants tbh like I like skirts and dresses and maybe leggings and shorts but like long pants are already too boyish for me and I feel uncomfy. I can do rompers but only if they’re like ~very cute. The only flannel I’ve ever worn are little tartan miniskirts when I was dressing up as Rachel Berry lol. I love presenting as a girl tbh.

The only problem is I’m also… gay…

And it’s fun for me to talk about like yk thirsting for women unapologetically without clouding it in like “well we don’t know if she’s gay well this is just friendship well this is just someone being polite well this will never happen well tbh this is ~wrong well tbh this isn’t sex well tbh let’s talk about boys.”

Like it’s nice to just be like “BOOBS” and shit.

And like OBVIOUSLY I would prefer to be… not deviant… and therefore born as cis but a man - because I can relate to being cis tbh far more than I can understand being like GNC even to the point of most gay women - with this same sexuality. I’d be so great at it lmao like I’d be just fruity enough to be quirky and fun and like I’d be deadass able to say I’m straight and everyone would be like “so true why do freaks doubt that tbh?? You’re just fun!!!” If I was into the EXACT OPPOSITE of stuff I’m into and born a man and like everything I’m not I’d be SO normal.

But I… ya enjoy being a girl as the song goes. Like in every fucking way except the liking boys part.

I love my body tbh (well the femininity) there are issues in terms of insecurity, I love dressing super effeminate - skirts and high heels and like cute undies, wearing makeup, having long hair, listening to girly music, reading girly books, “doing” girly shit like cooking and shopping and going to the spa and taking selfies, I prefer being friends with girls, I cannot deal with anything other than she/her pronouns etc. I LOVE presenting as a girl and honestly can’t imagine like doing otherwise.

I just also… really like to have sex with girls and that’s very fucking confusing to me and that’s why I like this platform because it’s a chance to express myself in a different way lmao and talk about stuff I don’t like HIDE irl because I’m out but wouldn’t like bring up over brunch with my gals. That’s the power of the internet tbh 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ it’s being able to write about boobies and pussy and shit and then put on a pretty dress and go to brunch.

I contain multitudes lol 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ and I do write very honestly but it is also a persona because I can’t like share every aspect of me with this many people every day. It’s just not healthy.

But ya there you go. Like Kinsey -1 gender vibes lmao like girliest girl alive and like Kinsey… idk fucking 5 sexuality but unlike the gender stuff that confuses me because comphet and sluttiness and also just how DEEPLY cis I am making it feel weird to be like… this gay.

[slytherinnbitch]

#6 with wolfstar plsss...

Prompt #6- Fake relationship

Pairing- Wolfstar

Background- It's been a year into the relationship and three-four months into the marriage. Tbh idk how I'm even going to write this. So if it doesn't make any sense to you, tell me and forgive me ://

Thank you for asking <3

............

"Thanks, love." Sirius says as he presses a soft kiss on his lips. Remus smiles at him and kisses him back.

The smile Sirius gives him is so real that he has a difficult time convincing himself that this is all fake because it can't be real. It just can't be.

"Oi you two! Stop with the PDA, can't take it anymore." James says as he fake retches. Lily laughs and swats his hand. "Love, you're just as bad as them."

Remus wants to tell him that it's the only time they kiss and that's all they ever get upto, SO JUST LET HIM HAVE THIS.

But of course he can't actually say that so he just shrugs. They are at a double date, again. They have a function of sorts to attend afterwards and James had suggested a few shots at the pub before going there because the function was about some bollocking about some shit which neither of them actually cared about, but as Aurors James and Sirius had to attend and they had to drag their respective spouses as well.

"Don't you think we should go now?" Lily asks because siriusly it's quite late now and they should at least show their faces before all the people go home. So they all leave the pub reluctantly and floo to the Ministry Ballroom.

The Ballroom is still crowded so that's a relief-- atleast for their careers. They mingle all around, Sirius whispering comments into his ears time and again. About someone's fashion sense to their sense of humour and what not. Remus takes it all, whatever he'll get from Sirius, he will take because there's not much.

It's just been a year since they had started 'dating' and it had been the best and worst year of his life. He had taken to pretending to act at home and being real outside where he was allowed to show all his affection for Sirius.

It had started as a deal, something or the other that Remus doesn't even remember now. Then they got married because why the hell not. The proposal had been very public, not something Remus would have wanted if this had been real. But how does that matter now.

"So Mr. Black I heard you are doing a mastery for defense against the dark arts. How is that going?" Unspeakable Gonamza asks him conversationally.

"It's going alright I would say. I've this one to help me with all the stuff." He replies and leans his head towards Sirius who is talking to another Unspeakable.

"What are your plans after?"

"Teaching although I don't really have a particular place in mind." He says not knowing one bit where this conversation is actually leading to.

"Would you like to teach at Dumstrangs?"

"What?"

"I'm offering you a position there, Mr. Black. I know this is out of blue but our last teacher will be retiring the year you complete your studies so it would be perfect. This is just a informal offer, if you say yes then you would receive an owl from us within the next week."

"I would like to have some time to think it through, plus consult my husband about it."

"Of course. Owl me with whatever is your answer, within this week if you could. Now I must be on my way." She thrusts a card in his hand with the address where he should owl and is off before he can say anything else.

Yes, this was one of the reasons why he had agreed to fake date Sirius and eventually married him. He still has no idea what Sirius got out of the deal.

"Leave that to me, Moons" he had said when Remus had asked him at the beginning and they had not talked about it after then.

The Black name overshadowed his furry problem and he was given the opportunities he won't be normally getting. He knew he was going to accept the offer but still he had been telling the truth when he said that he would discuss it with Sirius first.

They stayed another hour before the four of them decided that they couldn't tolerate the grease bags any longer and flooed to their respective homes, with a promise to meet up for Sunday morning coffee.

The offer had gone to the back of his mind shortly after Ganamza had left but as he was sliding out of his trousers he suddenly remembered about it and rushed towards Sirius' room, not caring his state of undress. It's not like Sirius hadn't seen him with only his pants before.

"Padfoot I forgot to tell you-" he stopped midsentence when he took in the room and was faced with Sirius' arse, his very naked arse in his direct line of sight.

Sirius squeaked in surprise before sliding into a pair of pants and facing Remus.

"I know you love looking at me, Re but give the man a warning the next time." Remus completely ignored that in favour of sharing his own news.

"Unspeakable Gonamza offered me a job at Dumstrangs." He said, the words rushing out of his month. There was a sense of finality in sharing the words with someone and the reality crashed upon him.

He had been offered a job at Dumstrangs, one of the best Wizarding Schools in the world.

"Merlin Re! That is fucking great news. Congratulations!" And he moved forward and devoured him in a toe curling kiss. He gave it his everything because this kiss was different. This was in a way their first kiss, the first one which wasn't done to show the public that they were actually together. No, this was just for him, Sirius telling him how happy he was in Remus's success.

"Fuck Re" Sirius breathes against his lips, then coming back to his senses he backs away. "Shit Re, I'm sorry I didn't-"

Before he can finish the sentence, Remus takes hold of his lips with his own again. He has no idea where all this bravery is coming from but he just knows that he needs to say this- show his love to Sirius or he never will.

When they break apart again, this time because of lack of oxygen, Sirius asks tentatively, "Does this mean..."

He leaves the sentence for Remus to finish which he gladly does. "Does this mean that I'm in love with you and have been in love with you for the past three years then yes. If you don't feel the same please tell me now and we can pretend this never happened again."

Sirius beams at him and whispers, "If that's so then never am I ever pretending anything else with you from now on." he softly kisses him again and asks "if that's all with you."

Remus nods and then they forget the world, focusing on each other because they both had been deprived for the past year if not more. They can discuss it in the morning properly but now, now they are going to celebrate. Celebrate each other and their love because it's been long overdue.

[lululawrence]

Annual Writing Self Evaluation

Thank you for the tag @louandhazaf!!! I’m honestly clutching my chest that you tagged me, so thank you xxx especially since i love this little self eval that i think @juliusschmidt came up with all those years ago and we just keep perpetuating it haha

this... is going to get long, though. since it asks me to list my works published this year and that is 24. so. here goes.

1. List of works published this year:

Swerve the Handshake (Nick/Louis)

Need So Much of You (Harry/Louis for @onedirectionbigbang)

You're A (Total) Distraction (girl!direction and hybrid Harry/Louis for @wallsficfest)

Always Keep You Next To Me (Greg/Louis for @wallsficfest)

With Your Hand In Mine (Nick/Louis for @wallsficfest)

Smells Like Omega Spirit (Harry/Louis for @1daboficfest)

If Only We Wish Hard Enough (Harry/Louis for @disneydirectionfest)

Political Pizza (Harry/Louis for @wordplayfics)

Talk the Night Through (Harry/Louis for @wordplayfics)

Wrinkles (Harry/Louis for @1000feelingsfics)

Would You Be My Girlfriend? (girl!direction Harry/Louis for @wordplayfics)

Lately You've Been On My Mind (Harry/Louis for @wordplayfics)

Don't Want It Any Other Way (Harry/Louis for @wordplayfics)

I'm Ready for the Worst (Greg/Louis for @louisandmenfest)

Loving You's the Antidote (Nick/Harry/Louis for @finelineficfest)

Do You Know Who You Are? (Harry/Louis for @finelineficfest)

Don't You Call Him (What You Used To Call Me) (Harry/Louis for @finelineficfest)

Gone Too Long (From You) (Harry/Louis co-written with @fallinglikethis for @finelineficfest)

Just Me and the Stars Can Get Lonely (Niall/Rory McIlroy for @heartbreakweatherficfest)

The Way You Bend the Rules (Niall/Rory McIlroy for @heartbreakweatherficfest)

And Then I Saw His Face (Harry/Louis for @1dtrickortreatfest)

I'mma Give You A Promotion (Nick/Louis)

What You Waiting For? (Nick/Harry for @1000feelingsfics)

(I'm Dreaming of a) One Night Inn (Harry/Louis, Zayn/Liam, Niall/Shawn)

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

every time i think about this question i’ve got a different answer, to be honest. i do think my I Go Down Blazing, Feeling Like I'm Going Crazy series is probably what i’m most proud of, though. as soon as i knew @runaway-train-works was going to be hosting the heartbreak weather fic fest, i knew i wanted to write dear patience, but as the idea grew and grew and more ideas solidified and i realized what the story was turning into, i realized it was so much more than i originally thought and i needed a second song to help me fully get a solid grasp on it. in the end, it was a hard duo of fics to write, mainly because i honestly don’t know much of anything about golf, i was still trying to create fully the way soulmates worked in the world, and there’s just not all that much about rory online to find, so i was winging it haha but i’m so incredibly happy with the world i made and the fics i wrote, even if i don’t know that they’ll ever get to like 200 hits or whatever hahaha i love them.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

uhhhhh you know looking at this list of fics i have, i’m actually proud of every single one for some reason and i don’t know if there’s any of them that i’d even label as “least proud”.

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

i hate this question and forget that it is on this list every year lollll let me see if i can find something i really like. okay i found one, it’s from my long grouis haha and i’m apologizing now for it being so long. you can skip ahead to the next question if you like, but i’m just incredibly proud of the banter and the way i wrote this section, PLUS those damn joggers actually happened because he posted a photo of himself wearing them in the shops on instagram and that inspired this entire thing so. enjoy. (i’ve italicized it and indented it to hopefully make it easier to skip it’s so long i’m so sorry)

“It’s safe for you to come back in here,” Louis called out as he closed his computer. 

“Thank goodness, I was getting so exhausted of hiding in your bedroom and snooping through all your shit,” Greg said as he walked out wearing a sheet mask and a pair of grey joggers that did nothing to hide what he was packing. 

Louis smirked and wanted to say something, but Greg kept going. 

“Did you know you have like five different deodorants in there?”

Louis threw his arm on the back of his couch and nodded. 

“Why?” Greg asked, throwing himself down onto the couch and placing his stupidly long legs on top of Louis’. “Who legitimately needs five different deodorants? Do they have different uses or something? Some were even women’s deodorants, so I wasn’t sure if they were your sisters’ or what. Oh, and I helped myself to one of your fancy toners. It had rosewater in it or something.”

“Well, for the deodorants I just like trying different scents and I switch them up based on my mood. And actually, the one I use most often is a women’s deodorant. It works great. Plus I smell fresh and clean like baby powder all day.” Louis shrugged. “And that wasn’t my toner. Dunno who left it. Just showed up one day and no one says it’s theirs, so I kept it. It’s quite nice, isn’t it? Lotts said it’s supposed to help even out the PH balance of my skin or some shit, but I’ll be fucked if I know what that actually means.”

“Oh, that does sound fancy,” Greg agreed, checking the time on his phone. “I’ve got five more minutes on this mask, don’t let me forget. Don’t want to leave it on so long it burns my skin off or summat.”

“Sure,” Louis said, laughing. “So are you actually wearing anything under these or are you just that excited to see me?”

“Eh?” Greg asked before looking down at his crotch. Of course, now he was sitting down it didn’t show anything. “What are you on about?”

“Stand back up and look in a mirror, mate,” Louis said, laughing. “You’re dick was trying to tell me hello a minute ago.”

“I didn’t tell it to do that,” Greg muttered as he shifted so he could stand back up again. He walked into Louis’ bedroom, and Louis could hear when he’d seen himself. “Oh my God, that’s obscene! Does it always look like that when I wear these?”

Louis laughed and walked into his bedroom to see Greg’s eyes wide as he shifted himself around and walked a bit, appalled that no matter what he did, nothing seemed to make it any less there. 

“I wouldn’t know, I’ve never seen you in those. You usually nick a pair of mine,” Louis reminded him. “Do you wear them without pants often?”

“I never wear pants with these,” Greg said, rubbing his forehead. “Fuck, I’ve likely given that nan that lives below me too many looks at my cock without even realising it. They’re my softest, most favorite pair of joggers! I wear them to the shops when I’m too knackered to get fully dressed!”

As Greg continued to narrate the various escapades he’d had over the years in the joggers without even realising what he’d been doing, Louis settled onto his bed, propping himself up on his elbow so he could still watch Greg as he motioned about in distress.

When it was clear Greg wouldn’t be stopping anytime soon, Louis pulled out his phone and started filming. There was no one he could share this with, but it would be good for a laugh later on.

“Fuck, and you didn’t remind me to take off my mask!” Greg cried, rushing back into the bathroom to remove the sheet mask and do whatever else he had to do when he used them. 

Greg was proper obsessed with them, said they were relaxing and kept his skin soft. Louis just liked knowing they were one of Greg’s things, like taking regular baths with a bottle of wine and perusing various adoption websites for dogs he could possibly give a good home to.

“Sorry, love,” Louis said, as Greg walked back out of the bathroom. He really was sorry, but he also couldn’t pass up the opportunity to keep taking the piss. Greg was too much fun to rile up. “Was distracted by your big dick flopping about whilst you remembered all the good times you’d had in the joggers.”

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

i’ve had a few this year that told me they don’t usually read that pairing or they don’t usually comment on fics, but for various reasons they gave the pairing a try or wanted to comment because of something specific and those were particularly lovely. that said, every comment is so so great, they really do boost me up to see them and i need to do better with getting my anxiety in hand and responding to them regularly.

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

this entire damn year, man. all of the time i’d carefully carved out for myself over the past few years to write was basically blown to shit with the pandemic, which also was so exhausting it didn’t leave me with much energy to write. but i still somehow posted 24 fics?? i dunno, dude. i think writing saved me and gave me something to look forward to, tbh.

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

most of my advent fic, tbh lollll a lot that was in there wasn’t really brainstormed ahead of time, it just happened, and i forgot some of the details even because i just flat out didn’t remember what i’d put in there, so i’m STILL surprised haha i love when fics happen like that

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

i always think of challenges as fun and then i look back and wonder if i was insane because i thought it would be fun to try something new but it was mostly really fucking hard haha i wrote a lot of pairings and combinations of tropes this year that i never have before as well as stretching myself with writing emotions and situations i never have before, so i’m quite proud of myself for continuing to push the envelope and try new things like that.

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

i mostly hope that i’ll be able to carve more time out for myself as things HOPEFULLY settle down a bit more. i might not be as impulsive when it comes to choosing things to write at that point, but we’ll see. lol

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

i... hmm. there’s a lot of people i’m thinking of right now, but it’s hard to choose just one. i think actually there were two and they were @louandhazaf and @disgruntledkittenface. i very much admire both of them for their own writing and works, but i am particularly inspired by how many pairings they write and the variety of fics they have posted. it’s definitely because of them that i’ve tried writing a lot of the pairings that i have, and that’s before you even start to look at the help they’ve given me with betaing certain fics (usually rare pairs lollll). they’re just both so supportive and open to so many things, and i am so much more open to all sorts of things because of them. i CANNOT answer this without mentioning the Write Your Way Out GC either, though. Y’all are my crew in SO many ways and you let me rely on you in every way through this past year. it really does take a village, doesn’t it?

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

lmao i’m sure. but all i’m thinking of at the moment are the tumblr posts and canon compliant shit i based the fics on, so nothing off the top of my head apparently haha

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

hell if i know. maybe just... write for yourself. i think that’s why i’m so proud of every fic i wrote this year. i really was writing for me and if others like it too? bonus. 

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

my big bang!!! that’s the big one. i’m so excited for it. i have a whole list of other fics, too, though. hahaha i’m also super SUPER excited for both of my omega harry fics to post hehe 

14. Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read.

@becomeawendybird @sadaveniren @londonfoginacup

*All answers should be about works published in 2020. Also, you can skip any questions you hate or don’t want to answer, but please leave them on the list so that others can do them if they want.

[redmelawashere]

So as I’ve hinted at, one of my recent projects (and tbh my focus for NaNoWriMo 2020) is a Sonia/Leon fic that I’m nearing completion. So enjoy an un-edited/un-polished version of one of the scenes I had the most fun writing. WARNING: Salty exes who sleep together are salty. Minor adult content ahead.

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Sonia laid in the gentle morning light, the gently chirping of rookidees swooping in along with the warm breeze from her open window. By all accounts it should be a perfect morning, especially considering the amount of rain they'd been having lately. Instead, she laid moodily, drumming her turquoise nails against her collarbone and frowned at he ceiling as if everything in the world was it's fault. Obviously it wasn't, it was just a way to deflect her own internal rage at herself—although she wasn't the only party involved. Her partner in crime had begun to stir, the warm hand on her stomach twitching before sliding down to her waist, pulling her closer. Soft lips pressed small kisses into her shoulder before he spoke gruffly, "you're overthinking this."

"Am I?" the red-head asked sarcastically.

Sleeping with your ex was generally frowned upon. It means you either have some unresolved tension (so you should never have broken up in the first place), have serious communication issues (which they do), or like some toxic, chemical reaction just keep coming back to each other (which means you should probably cut those strings loose). This is the third time they've ended up like this. She can already hear Nessa yelling at her (and at him) for how stupid they were. Since they'd broken up, she's seen Leon more often then when they were dating. Hell, they've slept together more, which frankly, was a little insulting.

"Mhmm," he murmured, his trimmed beard gently scratching her delicate skin.

Ignoring Leon's ministrations, Sonia continued to drum her fingers. She wasn't sure if she was mad because they had slept together, again, without talking about the obvious elephant in the room or if she was mad that she so badly wanted this to be something more than just sex. Logically she could just ask Leon. Afterall, that had been the crux of their problems. But at the same time she was in her feelings and didn't know what to do. When Leon's fingers started moving down she couldn't help but snap out, "would you stop that?"

His fingers stilled for just a second.

"No."

"You're such an annoying twat."

"You lov—"

"—Don't."

Immediately his hand stopped moving, their morning glow becoming awkward and uncomfortable. The teasing smile that he had been pressing into her skin became solemn. His hand immediately moved away from her stomach and onto her arm, rubbing the skin apologetically. She could feel its slight clamminess as his nervousness began to show.

"Listen Son, I—" he cut himself off, and she could practically hear his eyebrows furrowing. "Clearly this keeps happening for a reason and I think we should���"

Leon was abruptly cut off with the sudden slam of the door to the lab opening downstairs, Hop's cheerful voice booming, "good morning, Professor Sonia!"

They both stilled, her brain temporarily short-circuiting before she ripped the covers off, ran to the door and locked it. She whipped around, whisper-yelling at a stunned Leon, "get out of here!"

"How?" he retorted, sarcastically adding, "jump out the window?"

"Sonia?!" Hop continued to yell, footsteps scurrying up the stairs.

The ex-champion stared in shock, whispering softly, "oh, fuck me."

Sonia threw his pants at him, quickly grabbing a bra and struggled to clamp it on as she yelled back, "just a minute, Hopscotch!" She grabbed her shirt, throwing it over her head. "Had a long night, just woke up!"  

Leon stopped scrambling into his clothes, staring at her deadpan. "Hopscotch?"

"You're right, the window is the best option, Dandelion."

"What?!"

"The trellis reaches the window. Should be sturdy enough for you to climb down," she spoke clinically, pushing him toward the window and he struggled against her.

"This is insane!" he whispered back, barley getting on his shirt as they wrestled their way toward the window

"Quit being such a wanker, it should hold your weight."

"And if it doesn't?"

"That's not my problem."

"Fuck you, Son." he hissed, quickly grabbing his precious snap-back and she continued to bully him over. "This isn't just my fault."

She knew that he wasn't the only one to blame. That didn't mean she wanted to hear about it. He all but barley buttoned his black skinny jeans and put on his all-white air force 1 trainers' before he swung his leg over the window sill, eyeing it nervously. She's about to give him a motivating push when he grabbed her hands.

"Sonia. I meant what I was going to say," he says lowly. She hates when he looks so determined. Another vicious reminder that it's only now that he cares, that he wants to fight for her.

"Shut up."

"Make me."

Hop's chattering loudly about his latest research ideas in the background, his voice just behind the door and she has no voice but to call out, "erm, sounds great Hop!"

"By the way, have you heard anything from Leon? He didn't come home last night and was gone in the morning. Hasn't answered his phone either. Probably got lost during his walk, that dumb bastard."

"Oh that little shit is gonna get it—"

"—Lee, please. Can you cooperate?" She hissed through her teeth, all but ripping her hands out of his grip.

He narrowed his eyes at her, but obediently swung his other leg over the edge, shimming his way onto the trellis, giving it a good shake to test its sturdiness. Before he descended down he looked over his shoulder, staring right through her with those inflamed, golden eyes she loved so much.

"This isn't over. We're talking about this later."

"Goodbye Leon."

Leon climbed about half way before jumping the rest of the way. Until then did she close her window, inhaled deeply, before walking over to her bedroom door and opening it. Hop was holding a two steaming mugs of coffee in his hands, taking in her disheveled appearance with suspicion.

"Who were you talking too?"  

"That journal reviewer from Unova," she lied smoothly. "He's on my arse to finish that dumb publication despite the deadline being two months away. Was up all night reviewing the citations."

Hop, bless him, took the bait hook-line-sinker and winced, passing her a mug. "That sounds wretched. Is this what academia looks like?"

"A bunch of old, professors acting like know-it-alls?"

"Yeah, who think they're better than you?"

"Don't worry, Hop. I've dealt with more than one pig-headed man in my lifetime," she muttered, "present company excluded, of course" she quickly corrected at his crescent-fallen face.

He gave her a quick smile before resuming his idle chatter. Finally, she listened to his latest idea for a research paper as they made their way downstairs toward the lab. If only it could keep her thoughts occupied and away from Leon.

[despiteherself]

Squidward?

i don’t think I’ve ever made a singular squidward post anon, either you love him a lot or you think i’m gonna have some funny opinions. idk if they’re very good!!! I thought about this a lot.

* favorite thing about them

I love a dry ass sense of humour & he does get to have some of the funniest deadpan lines fjdkkdkskkdkdk. finally, depressed nobody representation <3 I think squidward is such a fun character, and it must be so much fun to get to invent stories and ideas with him in it!

also i am serious about the depressed nobody thing, like I really like that he loves the clarinet and art but is just okay at both of those things. i want to learn to draw but i find it overwhelming and terrifying and I keep trying but I don’t like a lot of what I do, and it’s really hard to get out of that mindset of feeling like you have to be perfect. Whilst I don’t think sbsp teaches you it’s okay to be okay at something, bc that’s not it’s point & it’s used for jokes, it’s still rlly nice to see a character that’s not Great at something - and that there’s value in doing a hobby because you enjoy it. Idk if anyone else gets from him (lmao) but like. I just rlly appreciate that he’s only okay at stuff, as someone who is also only okay at stuff (and also that spongebob is always telling him he’s amazing, but this ain’t about him).

* least favorite thing about them

sometimes he’s REALLY mean and i get that it’s the joke but i don’t like it when spongebob and patrick are sad :( that art teacher episode is one of my least favourite bc spongebob says he belongs in the trash. i know it’s an episodic kids show so it’s never going to change but i wish there could be some some growth. if it had growth I would love that episode actually. on the other hand, sometimes he’s REALLY nice and that does make it a little better. I know it’s mostly writing so!!

i wish he wore pants

* favorite line

I only thing I can think off the top of my head is the “When are you gonna learn, SpongeBob? The world is a horrible place filled with fear, suffering and despair. Also dashed hopes, shattered dreams, broken promises, and abject misery.” Line from the musical bc I watched it last night! The delivery of it is so funny!!! and i think it’s a good example of his character - especially in comparison to spongebob’s optimism.

I also like the “why did I give up everything in my house just to make spongebob happy?” bc I think it shows deep down he has a big heart, and that he does value other people’s happiness & idk I love cheesy shit like that.

* brOTP

hmmmm…. i want like lots of ppl tbh? i want him to be better friends with lots of characters. i haven’t seen all of sbsp yet cause i keep getting distracted, but i would love squidward & sandy to be friends, and for him to be more friendly with spongebob and Patrick, and more the krabs family stuff!!! let him be friends with like Larry and co

* OTP

squidward x getting some therapy

hm, this is a tricky question for me to answer bc i don’t rlly ship anything in sbsp in the sense i’m not going to go looking for it, and i don’t rlly think that’s the point of the show, but like I’m not avoiding it & i think all the crush stuff is very cute. and like, of course i think stuff like squidward & squilliam are bitter exes, and if you asked me abt idk squidward/larry or squidbob or the Stephen King’s Misery episode of kamp koral baby crush on patrick, I’d be like oh it’s cute :) and i’m happy to make jokes but i’m not rlly deeply interested in shipping anything.

i know this would never happen bc its not the point of the show but if we wanted to be “serious” abt it i want squidward to fall in love with himself.

* nOTP

see above & this is dumb but i see a lot of heavy focus on shipping aspects of sbsp sometimes and i kind of feel a little tired of it? i think i’m a little sensitive at the moment bc of something unrelated idk i feel kind of overwhelmed about ppl picking out nice moments and calling you an idiot for not seeing it as shippy. so it’s not a notp bc I think it’s fine and i’m glad ppl enjoy shipping him but like, i don’t rlly need to ship squidward with anyone cause i think getting their friendship is just as fulfilling a story for me.

also i see mr krabs as his family so.

* random headcanon

I don’t know if I understand squidward enough to have a good headcanon :(

I’m sorry my head has gone absolutely blank, I feel very *lists off facts* and not like i can cohesively put something together & i don’t think anything i can think is very fresh or interesting. I think maybe he should keep a pet rock & calm down a little <3

* unpopular opinion

idk if this is unpopular opinion but I’ve see the joke a million times about how “maturing/growing up is liking squidward more than spongebob” and idk i just think it’s rlly sad actually. I know it’s not serious but some people do say it like it’s a Truth of Adulthood (lmao) as much as i like squidward and do think he’s relatable sometimes (not when he’s being mean!!), he’s also not goals? he’s bitter cause the world chewed him up and it’s understandable, but he turns around and tries to do the same thing to others he thinks is below him and whilst it usually backfires as a joke, it’s just not rlly goals idk why people think optimism is childish. This is probably too serious djkfkdkdikd sorry

[beecherdrysdale]

Hiii how are you ? I fell down the stairs today and cried for a minute straight #hormones. Dw I have a high pain tolerance but I just started sobbing lol. It happens. LONG post ahead, I kinda went off hehe.

Anyways let’s get started!! Yes quinton gets to be upfront because he would probably feel so uncomfortable(no offence) with all the sexual tension going on there if dyl or jamie were in the front hehe. But yes they would be bitchy about who gets to sit upfront “ no Jamie it’s mine turn to sit with Brigid” “ no it’s my turn dylan you just sat with her” so brigid would get fed up and banishes them to the back hehe. Lmao Brigid can we listen to Katy perry now? The silence!! And then no can we listen to Lady Gaga?. Quinton trying not to lose it in the front seat. If I had to chose tho I would chose lady gaga:) wbu?

Get ready to be beat! Yes Ryan is absolutely not sitting upfront w me! We would be crazy and I wanna win so. Quinner is sitting up front w me but he decided to be .... and I’m banish him to the back. Braden is the most chill so he’s sitting upfront and giving me directions!! Haha dyl yelling at you to drive faster, but no I will beat both hehe;). Kesh who’s sitting up front w you? Would Kirby be handsy😏?. We would have to make so many stops lol. Like it’s just nostalgic for us, but new for you so it would be fun to make pit stops. and we would just be taking so many Instagram photos as a group and w our boys and together ! We love that ! “Wait wait wait Lexi pull over, I remember this place I wanna take photos” lol this is bad hehe.

Lmao yes, your hair would be so tangled!! They would be panicking a bit because they’re like omg she’s gonna be so mad.... honestly Ryan would just take the photo and then post it but then Dylan would repost it and then Jamie and then me lol. Honestly I kinda love when people just take videos of being in the car w like the scenery showing, but this would include us laughing and listening to music! I hope they makes sense. Hehe Ryan or Dylan would probably take photos of Braden, cozzy and devon sleeping and would post it. Back to the hair: hehe yes I can see you giving them a death glare when you realize and your getting mad and would hide. I’m just imagining this in my head, like me pulling over and you running out of the car and quinton and devon fixing your hair lol. Somebody would be filming this no doubt.

Music wise, yes I love blasting music and people looking but it’s kinda a flex when they see who we are with.... I like rap too! What song do u like Brigid?. Country will be played and 2000’s which is fun! I’m good with anything !. Kesh I love hype up songs as well and bass heavy songs because they sound good on speakers hehe. I’ve been into Rihanna for the past week and I was working out to her music- where have you been, rude boy, bitch better have my money lol, pon de replay hit different but also S&M for some sexiness. Lmao sorry I’m just listing Rihanna songs that I love atm. What are your fav songs right now? Awww dancing on the side of the road is so soft, but everybody needs a dance break! Cozzy, Devon and Braden are some how still passed out, I admire that. Late night drives🥺 are we spicing this up 😏.

Hehe you and devon are swamped w emails and more and you’re like kirby can you please go w them we need somebody to watch them. Als yes quinton go take those hot photos . I admire Dylan’s sleep schedule, like good job on catching up on sleep. Kirbys just trying to sweet talk you and kiss you so that you wouldn’t be mad. All in all, kesh is just shocked like how is that possible? Lmao Brigid, Ryan and I w the shopping cart just stocking up on popcorn, chips m&ms, I love that. Jamie and Dylan are racing each other to see who can grab the most cereal and made sure that they are getting the correct ones for Brigid. Honestly all the boys are just confused about how grocery shopping works hehe. The crackhead energy. Kirby is panicking. We literally bought out all the snacks. Beaver tails are delish and I know where you can get them so 😃. I want to stuff Quinner’s mouth w beaver tails cuz that’s cute:) yes healthy food is a must, like fruits, veggies, rice cakes hehe. But remember that we are going to workout on this vacay hehe. After the grocery store we would go into the mall or something and the boys would just be wanting to buy video games 😂 and ps5’s. Also kesh I love how some of the boys are just trying on clothes. Why do I get a feeling that one of the boys would just be filming all of this?

The chirping will happen nonstop, I’m sorry it’s just to much inspo. Aww yes they are blushing real hard, cuz they like you soooo much. But Brigid is enjoying touching them so no prob.

The boat is a must and it is happening!! Hehe yes the tubing would be chaotic, everybody is just trying to get each other to fall in 😂. Ryan thinks that he’s getting away w pushing me in but SIKE you are coming with me. So then we’re just fighting in the water. Quinner would be like where did they go?. Hehe brigid gets so wrapped up in laughing at us that Braden pushes her in haha. Yes we all look super hot in our bikinis, and the boys are speechless! Like dyl and Jamie are just like wow, she looks so amazing! And Kirby is so in love w you, he’s like I’m the luckiest man ever. I’m still gonna make sure that I wear a non tie bikini so that it doesn’t untie, like one time I was in the boat and my friend pulled on the string and the entire thing untied and I just jumped in the water to retie. That is not happening again lol. Quinner would be mad hehe. Idk I’m seeing Brigid in a black bikini or maybe a dark blue one? It would match your eyes?. Kesh in a red one or yellow and me maybe in a green one or just black lol. Hehe yes kesh and Kirby are just doing cute couple stuff and keeping an eye out but we are to chaotic to maintain .

Hehe yes ig we are clingy but cute drunks but I get kinda wild when I drink so the body shots would def happen. It would be hot tbh. Yes somebody do body shots w Brigid. Dylan would step up first, and he would be enjoying it and then Jamie sees and is like no it’s my turn so he does it and in the end it’s just a competition and you all get drunk hehe. Kesh and Kirby are the parents of the clubbing trip no offence.. like wanna go help cozzy and devon? Hehe lol I could just be dancing w Brigid and the boys would get jealous and one of them would just come up and be like excuse may I cut in, and i would be like tf but then they give me a glare and I go dance sexy with Quinner or crazy w Ryan. Kesh and Kirby should dance at least at one point during this time. We all look hot btw :)

Hehe yay I can be friends w Dylan :) I want that friendship to happen tbh. but he’s getting jealous but I’m like let them have their moment, so I distract him a bit w talking.

Girls day is a must! I wanna hang out w you so badly. Some cute clothing will be bought! Ooo yes us modelling and them being in awe. Oo kesh a different modelling show w the boys 😏. The boys are getting handsy esp Dylan and Jamie hehe. And they are super protective so no other guy at the club gets any ideas. After tho it’s biker shorts, sweat pants and hoodies type of vacay lol .

Thank you for reading ! Hope you enjoy mes chéries💗🌸

yes ok so loooong post ahead people

oof that tough falling down the stairs lol. honestly i’m not doing to great right now bc i did not do as well as i wanted at my meet, so now i’m in a funky headspace. but hopefully answering this ask will help, and i can get my shit together before my events tomorrow (which are actually my important events)

haha yes dyl and jamie would just be arguing like “no it’s my turn to sit in front, no you just did it’s my turn” lmao. and then whenever they’re sitting in the front there’s just too much tension for quinton to deal with lol. so then i feel bad for quinton so i banish the other guys to the back and let him sit in the front hehe. and i’m just ignoring the other guys and refuse to play either of their music and i let quinton pick. and if we purposely pick songs we know the other guys hate, that’s a secret we’ll never tell. oof between those two idk, probably lady gaga, but again we’re not playing music jamie and dyl like lol. 

haha no, you get ready to get beat. i’m like an INSANE driver when i want to be. and ofc dylan is just yelling at me “faster brigid, hurry tf up! we have to beat everyone” so then we’re just zooming. but then obviously you’re doing your best to keep up so you have to banish ryan to the back so he doesn’t distract you. and then you let quinner sit up front until he starts getting too handsy bc you’re like no i won’t let myself get distracted. so then braden’s up front giving directions and trying to get you to go faster, but i’m still winning lol. and then kesh is also still in the race, and she and kirby are just chilling in the front bc everyone else’s asleep. ooooh yes making lots of pit stops bc nostalgia for all of you canadians. and then me and kesh are just seeing all the sights for the first time. oooooh yes all the cute insta pics we could take

ooooh yes people taking vids of like the music and scenery would be so cute to post as stories. and ofc all of us laughing and stuff, that would be so cute. anyways yes, my hair would be a hugeeee knot. and i would just give them the death glare, like you’ve got to be fucking kidding me. and jamie and dyl just try to hide from me, like they run away as soon as the car is stopped. and then devon and quinton fix it for me, god bless their souls. like i’m sorry, bc even i wouldn’t want to deal with that. ik how my hair can get. and this would be allllll over everyone’s stories ofc lmao

ok yessss our music game is on point tbh. ok so for rap, the artists i’m really into rn are juice wrld (rip i actually loved him sm), kid laroi (who learned from juice, so he sounds a lot like him), trippie redd, mgk, and nf. also iann dior, but he’s not so much rap as r&b. honestly any of their songs slap. and then ofc country and early 2000′s. and any music with good bass, but i think a lot of the artists i said have that. ooooh yes getting out to have a dance party on the side of the road. hehe it could be really crazy. or alternatively, it could be when you’re out on a late night drive and there’s a slow song on the radio and you guys just get out and slow dance to the song together no this is not at all inspired by the song slow dance in a parking lot anyways yes late night drives are so cute. but then of course they can get spicy 😏 in case you couldn’t tell i’m always down for it to get spicy lmao

haha yes quinton and dylan c. honestly have their priorities straight. and devon and kesh are swamped with director duties, so that leaves kirby in charge. so then ofc when we get home kirbs tries to sweet talk kesh, but she’s just not having it. she’s just like how? anywaysssss at the store we have the most duo of ryan and lexi, plus now i’m added into the mix, and it’s just a mess. like we buy a shit ton of popcorn, pretzels, chips, candy, etc. and we literally bought half the store’s supply of everything lmao. and then dyl and jamie are just in the cereal aisle trying to grab as much cereal as they can. whichever one of them gets we chocolate mini wheats i will love forever. and then kirby’s getting healthy food bc yk he’s trying to be responsible. so then kesh has to explain that his whole job was to make sure everyone else was getting healthy food, not just get it himself lmao. but honestly none of the guys actually know what they’re doing lmao. and then we obviously have to get beaver tails to so lexi and quinner can have a moment, but idk where you get those lol. but yes we will be working out a ton on this vacay, so it’s ok that we have sm junk food lol. and then after we’re done with food, the guys decide to wander the mall and then they just buy a ton of video game and then they’re trying on clothes lol. and yes obvi they’re videoing the whole thing bc they’re secretly middle school girls who want to have a blog lmao

hehe yes me getting chirped the whole trip, esp the boat day. and the guys are getting so embarrassed about it, but i just don’t care lmao. and then the whole boat day is so chaotic obvi. when ryan pushes lexi in, quinner will come back and just be confusion lmao. like where’s lexi. and then i’m dying laughing and then braden sneaks over and pushes me in lol. but yes we all look amazing in our bikinis. like kirby is just so in love with kesh and thinks she looks gorgeous 😍 and then dyl and jamie are just like damn you look hot about me lol bc we’re horny ones on this trip apparently. and i’ll wear a tie-back jolyn bc they actually stay on lol. and then ofc quinner thinks lexi looks super good, but then she tells the story about the last time she wore a tie-back and he’s just like why didn’t you do it again? lmao. ooooh for bikinis i like a black top with a print on the bottoms idk why. and then you guys in whichever color you want. also yes kesh and kirby are trying to be responsible during this, but it’s just not working lol

haha yep i can definitely see you and quinner being wild drunks together (it’s more like when the alcohol is wearing off that you guys get really clingy) so obvi you guys start doing body shots. and ofc it turns into a jamie/dyl competition bc what doesn’t? and then me and lexi are just dancing sexy together, yk like two drunk girls do, and then dyl or jamie tries to come over and cut in and at first you won’t let them but then you finally give in and go dance with quinner instead. and then yeah, no offense kesh and kirby, but y’all are the parents here. like making sure we don’t do anything too too dumb lmao. and also being a wingman for some of the other guys. but you guys def dance together at least a little bit too. and obvi we all look hot

yessss i feel like you and dyl could be super chaotic friends too. so the two of you are just chilling together and then you have to distract him lol, but then after that you have a different chaotic friend for when ryan’s not available lmao

yes yes yes, girl’s day would be so fun. and then we get a ton of cute new clothes so obvi we have to model them. and they’re all just in awe, like those are our girls. but then we also do private modeling shows 😏 and we all know how that ends. and then when we’re in our clubbing clothes obvi they are getting super protective over us bc we look so hot and we’re their girls, so no other guys can get ideas. but then once they’re drunk they’re handsy as hell lol. but then the rest of the vacay ends ups spent in hoodies, sweats, and athletic shorts lol. and obvi some of the guys’ clothes

ughhhh i love this, the whole thing was amazing. 10/10

[trensu]

Episode 49: The One with Too Much JGY and Not Enough Wangxian

Very little wangxiantics in this episode, guys, there’s like, VERY LITTLE wangxiantics

The fact that the show is bringing us down to breadcrumbs again is Homophobic 

But let’s get through this!

blah blah blah jgy acts all pathetic blah blah blah lxc engages jgy in a convo blah blah

lwj has to go in and be like, bro, please, don't talk to him

and wwx is like, yeah, you literally just told jc not to talk to him, follow your own advice dude 

lxc is like, hm, you make a good point...i shall continue talking to jgy regardless

jgy continues with his pity party speech and i continue not to care

BUT THEN LXC KNEELS DOWN TO SPEAK WITH JGY MORE INTIMATELY????

WTF LXC STOP THAT RIGHT NOW

lwj is like BRO

lxc is like I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING BRO

and i'm like DO YOU THO?

now he's going to question jgy and counting on him answering truthfully??

WHAT HAS HE DONE TO MAKE YOU THINK HE'LL DO ANYTHING BUT LIE, ZEWU JUN??

so we get a much less entertaining Q&A session accompanied by jgy's flashbacks 

(can we go back to lwj's drunken Q&A sesh? I’d much rather question drunk!lwj than sober!jgy)

the only point i had any actual sympathy was when jgy brings up qin su and her mom bc qin su and her mother deserved better

Ooh, lxc is getting super judgy about jgy killing jgs

This is where you draw the line, lxc?? c’mon.

i mean, judge him for how he did it, sure

there was no need to involve all those innocent women in the murder

but really, killing jgs was the only good act of public service jgy did

give credit where it's due, pal.

HELL YEAH IT'S BITCH-SLAP JGY TIME AGAIN

LOL EVEN WWX AND LWJ LOOK SURPRISED THAT LXC DID THAT

oh noooo lxc is asking about jzx and oh, wwx is PISSED

Wwx grabs the front of jgy's robes and hauls him up and yells in his face “WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO? SAY IT!”

cue flashback scene to jgy tricking jzx 

AND NOW MY BRATTY SON IS YANKING THE FRONT OF JGY'S ROBES SCREAMING WHY? WHY? TELL ME WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO IT??

HIS VOICE IS ALL CRACKED AND HOARSE AND HE'S CRYING 

I WANT TO WRAP HIM UP IN BLANKETS AND COZY THINGS AND PROTECT HIM FROM ALL THE BAD THINGS IN THE WORLD

jl collapses to his knees and my beautiful sunshine boy falls to his side and scoops him into his arms 

BC WWX LOVES HIS BRATTY NEPHEW AND GOD DAMN IT, JL DESERVES HUGS AND AFFECTION

oh jgy was about to touch jl's face and i was like DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE I WILL CUT THAT HAND OFF YOU

but then he pulled away bc i am very fearsome actually wwx was glaring at him 

and ofc jgy can't have people being sympathetic to anyone NOT him so he's like, what about me, huh? you never ask why I personally had to suffer!

Cue another flashback in which JGS IS A FUCKING DOUCHEBAG 

I HOPE HE ROTS IN ANCIENT FANTASY CHINA HELL

HALF OF THE PROBLEMS WERE A RESULT OF HIM NOT BEING ABLE TO KEEP IT IN HIS FUCKING PANTS

ROBES

WHATEVER

ugh i hate jgy too

he's essentially telling jin ling that oh, i killed your father bc your grandfather was scum of the earth

AS IF JZX AND JL DESERVED TO SUFFER FOR JGS'S SINS

FUCK YOU JGY

suddenly jgy takes my bratty son hostage!!

wwx shouts "JIN LING" as he jerks towards his only nephew

BUT IT'S TOO LATE, jgy already has that garrote AROUND JL'S NECK

WIPE THAT SMUG SMIRK OFF YOUR FACE SU SHE

I WILL END YOU

god i need to stop threatening people, i have no ability to back it up

lol jc is like WWX YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TAKE ALL HIS WEAPONS AWAY!!

and wwx is like I DID! 

siblings always find time to bicker, even in dire situations

lwj tells them that jgy hid the garrote inside his body 

bc lwj is smart and observant

but ewwww, the idea of yanking that gold string out of a vein squicks the hell out of me

yuckyuckyuck it makes my skin crawl

jgy tightens the string around my bratty son's neck and everyone freaks out, obvs 

oh jc loves his nephew so much! he's all like, if you need a hostage take me instead and leave jin ling alone!!

JC IS A GREAT UNCLE, JC LOVES HIS FAMILY SO MUCH, JC DESERVES TO RECONCILE WITH HIS BROTHER AND HAVE A LOVING HAPPY FAMILY

jgy is like, nah bc of Reasons

then my sunshine boy is like, hey aren't you forgetting smth jgy? what about your loyal lackey here?

but ss is an idiot and is like, don't worry about me boss!

and jgy is all, cool thx lackey

now lxc and jgy do some more chitchat i don't care about

suddenly there is ominous knocking on the doors AND A WILD LAN SIZHUI APPEARS!!!

He got chucked into the temple like the football lol

NOW WEN NING IS HERE! HE’S COVERED WITH RESENTFUL ENERGY, CARRYING BAXIA LIKE A BADASS

Dude, for real, wn looks so cool here

letting the tip of the saber scrape ominously against the stone ground and walking with slow measured steps

and baxia is freaking glowing

nhs calls him "brother" but i'm pretty sure he knows it's not nmj and just said it to freak jgy out

wwx ofc recognizes wen ning

AHHHHHH WWX IS DOING HIS EERIE WHISTLE AGAIN, I LOVE IT WHEN HE DOES THAT

SO COOL, WWX, SO COOL!!

his brow is all furrowed when he sees wn is not reacting and he starts to whistle more earnestly

wwx: what's happening? why is wn not listening to me? could it be...?

cut to lwj, looking all serious bc hey, this is actually a serious situation 

lwj: he is possessed by the blade spirit

wn roars and vaults over the distance between him and jgy with baxia raised high and it looks freaking AWESOME

lol we get a quick shot here of nhs panicking and ducking behind su she

jgy lets go of the gold string around jl's neck to flee from wn which gives wwx an opening

Wwx dives forward and wraps himself around jin ling

Then he twirls them to the side away from incoming baxia and crashes them both to the ground where they're safe

as this is happening, lwj sees his opening and draws bichen

we get a quick moment where wwx and jc are both fussing over jl, it’s super sweet!

AND THEN WE GET A SHOT OF JGY'S DISEMBODIED ARM 

THE CAMERA STARTS TO TILT UPWARDS 

WE SEE THE HEM OF LWJ'S PRISTINE WHITE ROBES FRAMED BY BICHEN 

BICHEN HAS RIVULETS OF BLOOD STREAMING DOWN THE BLADE

THE CAMERA CONTINUES TO TILT UPWARD UNTIL WE SEE LWJ STANDING TALL, FACE GRIM AND SERIOUS AND JUST OVERALL HOLDING HIMSELF IN AN IMPOSING BADASS WAY

wwx is looking at him like HOLY SHIT LWJ

Which is a totally reasonable reaction bc holy shit lwj

HA, now jgy only has one arm

I may not be able to follow up on my threats but it is gratifying to see lwj follow through for me lololol

gross, ss is all begging for medicine to help jgy

stfu ss, nobody likes either of you two

wn's blow struck the ground and cracked it before so now he's back up doing his steady creepy walk to finish what he was going to do

lwj's brow furrows and he sits himself down, cross-legged and summons his guqin

lol i love how he summons his instrument tbh

he just wooshes his flowy sleeves and his guqin glitters into existence

it looks very Magical Girl and i appreciate that

someone needs to draw lwj in a Magical Girl outfit IMMEDIATELY

lxc gets his flute out and our lan bros do a duet to chill out the angry sword spirit

LOL WEN NING JUST STEPS ON JGY'S CHOPPED OFF ARM

DO IT AGAIN WN 😆😆😆

let me just say, i'm really enjoying watching jgy and ss cower away from the oncoming wen ning

but oh noo! jl calls out for his evil uncle and draws wn's attention and wn tries to attack him

i guess baxia senses jgy's blood on jl's robes or smth? Idk, doesn’t matter

wwx tries to do some sort of spell to stop wn but it doesn't work and in a fit of panic he yells out “WEN QIONGLIN!”

thankfully this snaps wn out of it enough that he stops baxia like, one inch from my bratty son's face

the lan bros are still doing their Magic Music thing and wn is trying to reign in baxia but baxia's pissed off so everyone’s struggling 

wwx starts his whistling again and it's rattling Plot Device 3

lxc tries to stop wwx but lwj shakes his head at his brother like no, back off

wwx turns to look at lwj, lwj meets his eyes and gives him a single solemn nod

AND WWX SMILES AT HIM BC HIS SOULMATE BELIEVES IN HIS ABILITIES AND TRUSTS HIM!!!

this is the first legit proper wangxiantic moment in the whole episode, what the heck

GIVE ME MORE WANGXIAN AND LESS JGY, PLZ & THX

jc: wei wuxian!!

wwx turns to see his brother and jc FLINGS THE DEMON FLUTE AT WWX bc apparently he's been carrying chenqing around THIS WHOLE TIME??

wwx nods to him (and omg jc is helping him, this is good, this is a step in the right direction!!) and brings chenqing to his lips

we get a shot of lwj staring at wwx as wwx starts to play 

and the background music starts to get SUPER INTENSE and EXCITING as wwx plays

CHENQING STARTS TO OOZE THAT SMOKY RESENTFUL MAGIC STUFF

we get a shot of JC watching wwx play and this is the softest we've seen him look at his brother since he came back from the dead

he's looking at him like it's finally hitting him that wwx is back, his big brother is alive and here and protecting him and jin ling bc that's what family is supposed to do

AND IF I CAN’T HAVE WANGXIANTICS, I WILL ACCEPT YUNMENG BROS TIME AS RECOMPENSE

oooh, Plot Device 3 starts to zoom around and we get a fun bit of camera work so it seems like we're seeing everything from Plot Device 3's perspective

which is kind of adorable for some reason???

it's just zipping along and it sees wwx and wwx guides its attention to where wn is struggling to control baxia

wwx starts to walk, getting both baxia and Plot Device 3 to follow him further into the temple

lwj sees this happening and whooshes away his guqin and follows bc he's always going to follow wwx obvs

WWX IS SO AWESOME, I LOVE WATCHING HIM WORK

EVERYBODY IS STARING AT HIM IN AWE AS THEY SHOULD BE BC MY SUNSHINE BOY IS SKILLED AS HECK

he manages to get baxia into the coffin with nmj before he starts coughing up blood 

But before we can freak out about that, nhs scream in the background 

so everyone runs to check out what's happening there

nhs is all SS WHY'D YOU TRY TO KILL ME OMG MY LEG IS ALL CUT UP NOW, EVERYTHING IS AWFUL, HELP HELP

and ss is like BUT I DIDN'T, HE'S LYING!!!

lol baxia just leaps out of the coffin buries itself in ss's chest

AND THAT’S IT FOR SU SHE

good fucking riddance

But also baxia is nmj's saber

DID IT HEAR NHS AND BE LIKE, NO I CAN'T LET MY MASTER'S BELOVED LITTLE BROTHER GET HURT BY THIS USELESS NOBODY???

BAXIAAAAAA

WHAT A GOOD SABER YOU ARE *CRIES*

wwx starts up his demon flute again even tho baxia seems much more chill now that it has finally killed someone 

But let's watch wwx be a badass on the flute anyway

look at my sunshine boy go! 

look at him corral all that resentful energy!

love my sunshine boy

baxia is finally subdued and wwx lays it and Plot Device 3 in the coffin with nmj

he covers the coffin using some of his wicked awesome red magic stuff

but it's taking a lot out of him i guess bc he stumbles back and lwj is right there to catch him 

bc they're soulmates and they love each other 

aND GOD THE WAY THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER HERE

JUST, UGH

EVERY TIME THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER MY HEART GETS PALPITATIONS

And this is the only other wangxiantic moment in this episode, wtf show

cut to the next scene, everyone's patching up wounds and whatever

lol we can hear nhs whining like a baby bc omg it hurts it hurts, lxc be more gentle

and lxc is like, chill bro it's just a stab wound

nhs is like JUST a stab wound?? r u kidding me, i'm DYING!!

Which is exactly how i would react to a stab wound lol

now lxc is with jgy and he's like jgy if you do ONE more bad thing, i will definitely finally punish you mercilessly

then he starts checking out his armless shoulder bc lxc really is too good and not all that bright apparently

lol when wwx sees lxc tending to jgy's wounds and his face is like ugh i can't believe this guy

AND THIS IS WHEN WE GET THAT AMAZING AWESOME SHOT OF NHS'S FACE GOING ALL SERIOUS AND, LIKE, VENOMOUS

WE ONLY SEE PART OF HIS FACE, THE OTHER PART COVERED BY LXC'S OUT OF FOCUS FACE

AND NHS GLOWERS AT JGY

oh, my poor sunshine boy is wincing and holding a cloth to his STILL SLUGGISHLY BLEEDING NECK WOUND

SOMEBODY GIVE MY SUNSHINE BOY MEDICINE 

TAKE WHATEVER LXC GAVE TO JGY AND GIVE IT TO MY SUNSHINE BOY STAT

lsz is watching him very intently bc he's figuring out some things about himself and wwx that LWJ DIDN'T HAVE THE GOOD GRACE TO EXPLAIN TO EITHER OF THEM YET

lwj ofc has got his eyes glued on wwx bc, i mean, what else is there worth looking at in the Temple of Doom?

And i guess this counts as a wangxiantic too bc lsz is basically wangxian’s love child anyway!

lxc has the gall to ask nhs to hand him the medicine bottle to tend to FUCKING JGY'S (AKA HIS BIG BROTHER’S MURDERER) WOUNDS

GOD JUST LET JGY BLEED OUT AND DIE ALREADY

nhs is like sure! grabs the medicine bottle and hides it in his robes 

he makes a whole show out of rooting around in his robes to ‘find’ it and lxc goes to him to grab it or whatever so his back is turned to jgy

AND NHS, THAT CLEVER CLEVER BOY, USES THIS CHANCE

he makes a show of looking over lxc's shoulder and shouts LXC LOOK OUT!!

lxc grabs his sword and whirls around and stabs it right into jgy

and nhs is all stuttery and nervously saying how omg he saw jgy reach behind him and he thought he was gonna do something awful so he panicked

Then jgy finally sees nhs AND THAT'S WHERE THE EPISODE ENDS

So another episode with way too much plot stuff, yuck

I mean, we only got 3 actual wangxian moments?? 

What is that about, huh? THAT’S NOT EVERY GAY RIGHTS OF YOU, SHOW!

The next episode is THE LAST and we’re definitely getting wangxiantics there and i will definitely cry about it

Return to Masterpost

[wheres-everyone-going-bingo]

Heyhey! How about some Yancy x reader where reader has fangs and Yancy gets real flustered about them. Like if reader smirks and shows there teeth yancys just like could bite me with those? I'm just big monster fucker hours tbh. When will I find a vampire husband or become a vampire husband :/

Behind Unlocked Doors

Pairing: Yancy x Male Reader

Warnings: swearing

—————

Tapping my knuckles against the large wooden door, I smiled to myself, excited to see my boyfriend. The door was opened, to reveal a disheveled Damien on the other side, probably having answered the door after having to break up a fight between Bing and Google, again. I flashed him a smile.

“Y/N, it’s nice to see you use the door for once” He greeted me, stepping aside from the doorway to allow me to enter the building.

“Well I figured with the amount of complaints I get when I enter through a window or something, I thought I might as well try the door” I replied, recounting the amount of times I’ve startled an ego by suddenly walking into the room without telling anyone I had arrived.

“Yes, and we’re very grateful. I assume you’re here for Yancy?” He asked, I nodded, saying goodbye and heading towards Yancy’s room.

Turning the door handle after announcing myself, I entered Yancy’s room, the familiar sight of musical posters strung around the room made me smile.

“Y/N! It’s so good to see youse!” Yancy welcomed, running towards me, and jumping into my arms “I missed youse”

“I missed you too Yance” I chuckled, looking down at the man holding onto me like it was a life or death situation.

“I’s been workin on a new song, youse wanna hear its?” Yancy enquired, pulling away from my arms and making his way over to the desk in the room.

“Yeah sure Yancy, I’d love to” I smiled at him, flashing my fangs. Yancy stumbled over his words as he searched for the music sheet, all coherent thoughts thrown out of his mind.

“Ah he-heres it is” He returned to me with a few pieces of paper clutched in his fist. Yancy handed them to me “Youse gotta remember thats it’s only a draft”

“I know babe” I responded, eyes flicking over the words and notes. I smiled to myself, admiring the passion he had for music. Looking back up at him, I was met with a red faced Yancy, I presumed it was from the embarrassment of sharing his draft. “It’s great, no need to be embarrassed” I assured him, giving him a quick kiss.

“Oh it’s not the drafts that I’s worried about” Yancy admitted, sitting down on his bed. I tilted my head, wondering what was bothering him. “But thats don’t matters. Has youse done anything exciting recently?”

“I mean I got to see your gorgeous face again” I spoke, earning a giggle from Yancy

“Youse so grossly sweet, youse know that?”

“Aw c’mon, you know you love it”

“Youse not wrong theres” He replied, making me laugh “I’s would also love for youse to bite me with those pretty fangs of youse” Yancy mumbled under his breath, assuming I couldn’t hear him.

“If you say so love” I purred, Moving my face to be only a few inches from his

“Youse weren’t supposed to hears that”

“I’ve got good hearing babe, comes with the fangs” I grinned, hovering my lips over the skin of his neck. Feeling Yancy squirm under me, anticipating the pleasure of my teeth on his skin.

I pulled away from Yancy’s neck, instead pushing my lips against his. I nibbled on his bottom lip, drawing a few drops of blood. Yancy obediently opened his mouth, allowing my tongue entrance. Tongue fought against tongue, as I came out victorious. Separating my lips from his, I trailed kisses down to his neck. Finally giving into his desire and dragging my fangs against sensitive skin.

“Oh fuck, that feels so goods” Yancy whimpered, as I nibbled and bit down on his neck, loving the way that he instinctivley craned his neck to give me better access to his skin.

Yancy and I pulled off our shirts, our bodies pressed against each other, along with our lips. I was on top of him, while Yancy bucked his hips towards mine, already needy. I started to grind my crotch up against Yancy’s tight pants. My hands trailed down to his trousers, unzipping the fly.

“Hey Y/N I baked some cupcakes, do you want-” Yancy and I’s head turned to the door, a scared looking Wilford stood in the doorway. He blinked a few times at us, trying to process what he was seeing, I cursed at myself for forgetting to lock the door. “HOLY SHIT IM SO FUCKING SORRY!” Wilford shouted, covering his eyes with his hands, screaming as he tried to turn around and run out of the room only to run face first into the door frame.

“Wilford uncover your eyes and then run” Damien informed the screaming man, watching Wilford run down the hall. “I apologise” Damien spoke, reaching in a closing the door.

“I- what- why” Yancy fumbled, trying to form a sentence. My mouth was open, I was as flabbergasted as he was.

“Let’s just uh, pretend that never happened” I advised, Yancy nodding in agreement.

[simmancy]

Fine then. The REST for Ojaddy that haven't been answered yet pls and thank

for the record, this is because all Sam sent at first was 

and I said that was cheating

this does have sim spice in it so. you know. don’t look. please.

1. What are things they both find funny?

Their senses of humor are pretty similar, probably because they... developed similarly. It’s gotten darker with recent years, they make a lot of rather dark jokes to one another.

But in general, they can be goofy with one another. They probably speak often in memes.

3. If they complimented each other, what would they say?

OJ would probably abstain from this question--Maddy prefers less vocal compliments, anyway. 

Maddy: “He’s always right, even when I don’t want him to be.”

4. What would be their ship name?

Ojaddy was the officially decided one, it was MOJ in my earliest notes.

7. Write a ~300 word love scene for them.

8. What were their first impressions of each other?

Who knows at this point? They don’t know where their memories of each other begin.

17. What senses (sights, smells, feelings, etc). remind them of each other?

The smells of Brindleton Bay in general--especially around the dock/their houses growing up, so the sea, salt air, sand between toes. A bit of beach bonfire for Maddy specifically--OJ associates Maddy with fire for the obvious reason that she is wild.

Additionally, OJ sort of begins to associate the creaking of floorboards with Maddy returning home.

18. What would be their love motto?

Physically: palm kisses. They say a lot with the palm kisses, it’s just their personal way of de-escalating a situation while still saying “I love you, endlessly.”

Other than that, I guess... There’s the line in Dress by Taylor Swift--”I don’t want you like a best friend.” That. They want each other more than like best friends. She really only bought that dress so he could take it off one day.

19. If they could each write a single line in their marriage vows, what would they be?

I will always return to your side. (OJ: like a boomerang. Maddy: yes exactly)

20. What is a promise they have made to each other?

Besides the one mentioned earlier? They’ve promised to remain in PB Bay, to be close to Kabi of course.

21. How have they changed each other for the better/for the worse?

Well they hunted vampires together for a bit, so that’s pretty cool.

OJ makes Maddy think more about the world around her. Maddy makes OJ braver.

22. If their lives were what was originally intended at birth, would they have still fallen in love?

Oh... Probably, yes. I think they were always going to be each other’s first loves. 

If Maddy had gone the vampire path, she probably would have tried to take OJ with her, tbh................................ A much scarier end of gen 3, tbh.

23. Write a ~300 scene between them with no dialogue, only body language.

24. What is something they have each had to forgive the other for?

Maddy puts herself in constant danger. OJ has to be the “bad guy” and bring her back to earth. They forgive each other for these facts every day.

OKAY STOP READING HERE IF YOU’RE UNDER 18 THANKS SUPER APPRECIATE IT actually just stop reading here period if you don’t mind

25. What moves do they know work on the other?

Fangplay for OJ. The second teeth touch skin he’s done..... Maddy is almost always willing to go, though. OJ could just like, walk by her and say, “Hey beautiful,” and she would grab for his junk. When we did the Shipping thing, I filled in her horny levels at MAXIMUM and I stand by that.

26. What are their favorite parts about physical affection/sex?

Is all of it a cop out? They are both CONSTANTLY physical with one another. I think it’s about the reality of it--they spent a long time believing it wasn’t happening, and then it couldn’t happen, and then it shouldn’t happen... That when it did happen, they learned how to revel in it. It’s their own private thing. It’s just theirs.

27. Do they have any kinks/fetishes that they share?

The aforementioned fangplay (which he gets in on sometimes! He bites back when she wants!). Maddy is the dominant one--OJ prefers to submit to her whims ahaha. 

28. Write a ~300 fantasy one of them has about the other.

Cool great, so actually, when I was writing.... I’m gonna talk about it real quick because I feel like I have to. And honestly, looking at what I have here, I could probably take nonsense out of this ... thing ... for the love scene and the “scene with just body language” because that’s legitimately all this thing is and uGH OKAY HERE WE GO BYE.

So I felt like writing-writing, and I decided to write OJ and Maddy getting together (which there are pictures for), because I wanted to. And AS I wrote it, Madeleine Moon escalated at every turn, so what we got was actually... Her fulfilling her teenage fantasy because she’s mad with power, and it’s of course also OJ’s teenage fantasy because holy shit he has Maddy in his bedroom so. 

I’m EMBARASSED but here is an excerpt from my embarassing secret Ojaddy smut document:

“You really don’t have to, not if you don’t want,” he mumbles, a hand on her bare waist. She laughs and kisses the top of his head.

“But I do want to,” she whispers back, reaching and pulling his shirt over his head. She looks away from him to survey his body, before returning her gaze to his. “Don’t you want me?”

“Yes but—”

“No, no buts but this one.” She moves his hand to her ass, and squeezes for him.

OJ sighs, frustrated. “But this is my—I mean—I always thought—”

“I always thought it’d be in my room,” she confides, stripping her crop top off. Her bra is lacy and black. It’d look great on the floor. “That one day you’d be brave enough to just... Come in and say something stupid, but romantic. And maybe I just wouldn’t be able to stop myself.” 

“H-how?”

“Well, I’d sit just like this,” she says, straddling him. One arm is around his neck. “And I’d begin kissing you, starting... mmm... here.” She leans forward, and he moves to meet her lips, but she kisses the blade of his shoulder, then a trail of fire up his neck. “And... maybe my hand would end up here.” It’s on his chest, moving up and down. He isn’t imagining that she’s admiring him. Her mouth has reached higher now, she’s nibbling on his earlobe. “Maybe you’re brave and touch me back,” she whispers, and he can’t help shivering. His hand is still on her waist, but he’s gripping her tightly, fingernails drawing circles on her back. He wonders if it’ll leave a mark, if she’d like that. Her hand is now hovering, fingertips just ghosting over the front of his shorts. “And maybe I’m especially brave.” She unzips them, slides down to her knees in front of him and her hand reaches and it’s so much, all of this. He groans out her name, every name—Mads, Maddy, Madeleine, like it’s a prayer.

tldr - their real life is a fantasy, Maddy’s fantasy was getting in OJ’s pants, OJ’s fantasy was letting her, now they get to explore fantasies with each other! a true happy ending for everyone

29. What are each of their signature foreplay moves?

This is really just Sam trying to get me to release the smut document huh

OJ’s is kissing Maddy all over. Literally. All over, until she goes feral. So. Edging.

Maddy’s is, of course, biting. Biting and seeing how fast she can get OJ in the mood. This is especially fun when he is supposed to be doing anything else.

30. Write a short exchange of dirty talk between them.

pls don’t make me do that. literally all their dirty talk is asking the other “is this okay” and saying the other’s name

31. What do they love to do after sex?

Naptime in the afterglow

32. Do they enjoy morning or night sex?

Night, for sure. If they start in the morning... They don’t leave bed.

literally i want to crawl into a hole and die but also maybe finish the bad smut document because I stopped right before they got Into it and then ran off and wrote a very, very, VERY different piece and literally all i’ve done for two weeks is written ojaddy and worked on the gen 4 save from the ground up.

[imaginewithmgk]

you know we’re meant to be

prompt; you know we’re meant to be

summary: colson confesses his love for y/n and it doesn’t go as planned

word count: 1,827

warnings: swearing

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“Y/N,” Colson says as he drags my name out and stretches his large body over mine. I was lying comfortably on the couch until he sat down and decided to use me as his personal human pillow.  “What do you want?”  “I’m bored,” He groans.   “Wanna help me get ready for my date tonight?”  “You’ve got a date?” He sits up properly. “Yes? He’s really nice and so hot oh my god,” I put my hand on my forehead and pretend to faint. He smiles weakly. “Where’s he taking you?” “I think we’re going out to dinner at that nice Italian restaurant in the city and then we might do something after that, I’m not really sure.” “Noo! I wanted to take you to that restaurant.” Colson whines.  “I know but sometimes I need to put my sex life over my best friend hun. A girl wants a girl wants.” “You could just incorporate your best friend into your sex life,” He winks. I slap him on the chest and chuckle at his stupid comment. “Shut up,” I laugh. “Help me choose what to wear?”  “I guess,” He follows me into my bedroom. I lay out two dresses on my bed, jeans paired with a nice shirt and multiple accessories.  “So I was thinking this dress,” I hold it up to show him as he sits on my desk chair. It’s a short cream coloured that fits snug, showing off my curves and has a deep v-neck. “This dress,” I hold up a deep red coloured dress that ends below my knees, it is also tight and has a v-neck but the straps are lace.  “Or this shirt paired with my white jeans,” I hold up a light rose gold button-up shirt that is a satin material.  “I think I’d have to see them on to properly judge,” He smirks. I shake my head but agree.  “Turn around,” I giggle.  “I’ve known you since we were born Y/N,” He rolls his eyes.  “Still,” I pout. He huffs and puts his hands over his eyes and turns around. I quickly take my shirt and pants off before finding a suitable bra and putting the first dress on. “Okay, ready.” He opens his eyes. “Holy fucking shit,” Colson breathes out. “You look stunning Y/N,”  “Thanks love,” I laugh. “I don’t think this is really the one though like he doesn’t seem like the sort of guy who would appreciat-” “I can't take it.” Colson blurted out. “Can't take what?” I ask after a few seconds of silence. “I love you.” “I love you too silly!” I giggle. “No. I love you,” He puts his head in his hands. “More than friends,” I stand there taken back, I never expected this from Colson. “You love me,” I repeat his words, mostly because I can't seem to comprehend what he said or maybe to make sure that's what he really said.  “I love you. And not in a friendly way," He pauses. "Although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way," He pauses again. "Although I'm sure that's what you'll call it." I don't know what to say, I just look at him with an undoubtedly dishevelled appearance.  "I love you. Very, very simple. Very truly. You're the epitome of every attribute and quality I've ever looked for in another person." He tells me, to which I still stay silent.  "A-and I know you think of me as just your best friend and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you'd ever consider. But," He exhales. "I had to say it. I just- I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you, not like we normally do but in a romantic way where we can’t stand not holding each other. I can't look into your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are." He exhales again. "And I know this will probably ruin our friendship but I had to say it, because I've never felt this way before, and I like who I am because of it." Silence.  "And if bringing it to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. That kills me actually. But I couldn't allow another day to go by without getting it out there, regardless of the outcome," He looks up to meet my eyes.  "Which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And I'll accept that but I know, I know! Some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation, that means you feel something too. All I ask is that you not suppress that, at least for ten seconds try to dwell in it before you dismiss it." He puts his hand up to his forehead and rubs his temples.  "Y/N… there isn't another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me the person I am when I'm with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it's there between you and me. You can't deny that." He points his finger at me and stares into my eyes.  "And even if we never speak again after tonight, please know that I'm forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me.” He finishes his speech and both of us just stand in silence, staring at each other.  “No comment?” He chuckles, only Colson would joke in a time like this. “Here's my comment… fuck you.” I furrow my eyebrows at him. “Why!?” “That was so unfair. You know how unfair that was!” I yell. “It's unfair that I'm in love with you?” “No, it's unfortunate that you're in love with me. It's unfair that you felt the fucking need to unburden your soul about it. Do you remember for a fucking second who I am to you? Who we are to each other!?” “So? People change. You know we’re meant to be,” “Oh, it's that simple? You fall in love with me and want a romantic relationship, nothing changes for you with the exception of feeling hunky-dory all the time. But what about me Colson? It's not that simple, is it? I can't just get into a relationship with you without throwing my whole fucking world into upheaval!” “But that's every relationship! There's always going to be a period of adjustment.” “A period of adjustment? Go fuck yourself, Colson,” I pick up my shoes and a random bag before storming out of my room and slamming every door I can on the way out. 

I make my way down the street, getting as far away as possible. I don't know whether to scream or cry but I do know that I can't be near him. I order an Uber to the restaurant I'm meant to be meeting my date at, I figure that I need the distraction and I also don't want to be rude and cancel this close to the meetup.  "Y/N?" I hear a voice say, making me turn around. My eyes land on a very good looking man that just so happens to be my date.  "H/N?" (his name, you choose) He nods. I walk over to him and give him a quick hug.  "I knew you were beautiful but damn I didn't expect this, you look amazing!" He tells me. I grin.  "Thank you, you don't look too bad yourself," He doesn't look bad at all, and he's much more polite than Colson. He grabs my hand and leads me into the restaurant where he placed a reservation under his name. The waiter guides us to a secluded table in the back and we sit down.  "Can I get you anything to drink?" He asks.  "Your best red wine please," H/N replies. I cringe internally, Colson and I never drink wine because honestly, we think it tastes like piss.  "Just a vodka soda please," I smile. He nods and walks away.  "So Y/N, how was your day?" "To be honest," I sigh. "I had a huge fight with my best friend right before I came here. I didn't really want to go out tonight but I didn't want to be rude and ditch you. You're making me feel better anyway," "I'm so sorry to hear that. Can I ask what it was about?" He's intrusive, not like Colson who usually takes my mind off why I'm upset rather than dwelling on it.  "It's personal," I mutter. Why am I comparing him to Colson? "Oh," He replies harshly.  "Anyway, how was your day?"  "Good," He gave a boring answer, this guy is nothing like Colson.  "Um I actually think this was a bad idea, I'm not going to be able to focus on you when I'm this upset. I think I'm just going to go, thank you for momentarily cheering me up though," I say as I begin to stand up.  "Are you fucking serious?" He raises his voice. "You're such a bitch," Is he kidding me right now? I was going to at least pay for my drink but he can go fuck himself. I stomp away, not looking back. I order an uber back home and on the way, my mind won't stop racing. Why was I comparing every single thing he did to Colson or how he does it? Maybe I do feel something for him… 

I stand in front of my front door contemplating whether or not I should really go inside, Colson is obviously going to be upset when he sees me. I mean, what have I got to lose? Only my best friend... I walk through the door and find Colson sitting on the couch with a blunt in his mouth.  "You're back early," He says with a worn voice. He had obviously been crying. I sit next to him and take the blunt.  "He was a dick," I reply quietly as I exhale. "I couldn't stop comparing him to you, and that's when I realised…" Tears begin to form in my eyes.  "Realised what?" He looks over at me to make eye contact.  "That I'm in love with you too," I breathe out. "You… the one least likely; I mean, you were my best friend, like a brother to me. And while I was falling for you, I put a ceiling on that, because you were my best friend. Until I remembered why I opened the door to love in the first place - to not limit the likelihood of finding that one person who'd complement me so completely. And so here we are, I was thorough when I looked for you, and I feel justified when I'm lying in your arms. I have no question that there was someplace I didn't look. And that makes all the difference. You're the one.”

-

i’m not sure how i feel about this tbh. i used some excerpts from a movie, chasing amy, because i love them so much and molded them to fit colson and y/n. i feel like i could’ve finished it better but anyway, i hope y’all like it :)

also stay safe, and remember to wash your hands! 

tagged: @2dead2function @s-j-g-x @bakerkells @mayaslifeinabox @onlybadthingz @PumpkinQueenest19 @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @Feeding-into-darkness @xxkellsvixen19xx @lovemythsworld @xwhitewalkerx @deanwinchesterswife121 @jindongdongie​ @itjustkindahappenedreally​ @machine-gun-colson​

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