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hikarus-shida · 3 years ago

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Hook: “Everything Feels Real and Fake”

Hook x gender neutral! reader

genre: not sure what genre but it’s a good frickin’ time

warning: drug usage (edibles), consuming edibles, mentions being high and shit somewhat not feeling or seeming real, munchies as fuck, kinda bad language

summary: hook and the reader decide to be super adventurous, doing something they’ve never done before. when the reader is given *special* treats and they try them for the first time, the two of them end up understanding why people get high.

tag list: @cutierocker202 @bec0m @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @elitehunter

imagines masterlist

another one of my own ideas turned into an imagine since i got high on friday, so i’m taking inspo from myself and my experiences. of course in no way am i trying to convince or push getting high onto anyone. i wouldn’t want anyone to do something they’re not interested in doing. and if there are people that do get high that are reading this that don’t think it’s accurate, we all have different experiences when high (edibles or smoking!). i, personally, am the biggest idiot when i’m high and nothing ever feels real!

*i do not own this gif!*

You stared at the package of “candy” in your hand, contemplating on whether or not you wanted to eat them. You were so deep in thought that you hadn’t noticed Hook walked into your room and furrowed his brows at you, confused by your lack of movement and why you were looking at candy. “What’s that?” His voice made you jump out of your thoughts and shyly smiled at him, fumbling with the candy.

You lifted up the packaging and showed it to him. Hook began to laugh, it soon becoming uncontrollable as he held onto his stomach. “Stoney Patch? Where the hell did you get edibles from?” He asked, his laughter subsiding as he began to control himself. Hook opened up the candy package and took a whiff, his nose scrunching at the scent, which made you snatch the package back.

“I got it from a friend. They said I should try it out since I never have before.” You shrugged, laying the edibles package off to the side of your nightstand and moving back down onto your bed. You had never gotten high and it seemed very undesirable at the moment, but it wouldn’t hurt to experience it. You’d either like it or hate it, and if you hated it.. then you’d never have to do it again.

“Well shit, let’s try it.” Hook said, walking over to your nightstand and picking up the package again. He looked at the packaging, confusion taking over as he tried to understand what everything meant. “500 milligrams? How much are we supposed to eat?”

You raised your eyebrows at him as he read the back of the package, “You actually want to eat them?”. Hook nodded, reaching into the packaging and grabbed two sour patches, smelling it before moving to put it in his mouth.

You looked at him in shock and grabbed his hand. “You’re just gonna eat it straight like that without thinking? Let’s be logical here.” You said, holding his hand while Hook rolled his eyes and still put the edible in his mouth, beginning to chew. You sighed and followed his lead, grabbing two sour patches and put it in your mouth, chewing it. Once the two of you swallowed the edible, you both practically gagged at the after taste. “That’s horrible.” You coughed, immediately reaching for water on your nightstand and drinking it.

Hook turned off your lights and then laid down next to you on your bed. “When do you think this shit will hit?” He asked, beginning to make himself comfortable on your bed. You shrugged, you didn’t know too much about edibles or getting high, which you knew was very stupid of you since you had just taken two and didn’t know what to expect. “It shouldn’t be like more than a couple of hours.” You estimated, grabbing your phone to look at the time.

The two of you laid in bed, cuddling and talking about random things while your favorite tv show played in the background quietly. At first, eating the edibles and waiting for them to kick in was very underwhelming. There was nothing that made you believe it was going to be some other worldly experience and quite frankly, you thought they were shit because it had been an hour and half already with nothing happening.

“Y/N,” You heard Hook groan, turning to look at him. Hook was playing with his lips with his finger, pulling at them and rubbing them with his fingers. “My mouth is so dry.” He whined, then began to start laughing at absolutely nothing, which made you laugh. However as soon as you opened your mouth, you felt the dryness when you began to pull your lips apart to laugh. Hook gasped when he started to feel all over his skin and rub his arms, his eyes widening as he gave you a goofy smile.

Okay, maybe you underestimated how hard these would hit you. Right now, you felt like you were sinking into your bed and the world was spinning, but it felt so good. When you looked back at Hook and felt his arms, you also gasped. “You feel like leather!” Your voice had went a bit higher when you spoke, something unnoticeable to the two of you. Hook looked at you, mouth agape as he started to feel himself again. “I do!”

The two of you spent most of your time talking about things that didn’t even make sense. Hook was talking about how snails weren’t real and how Gary from Spongebob wasn’t a realistic source. “When have you ever seen a real life Gary?” He asked, rolling his eyes, as his words were getting slower and less constructed. You sat there for a few seconds, actually believing him and began to question everything you’ve ever known. “Oh my god, Gary isn’t real!” You said, running a hand through your hair from shock. Hook nodded solemnly and put a hand on your shoulder, “He never was and snails were created to trick us.”

The whole snail debacle had made you grow hungry, your stomach growled and and the thought of food sounded amazing. You licked your dry lips, that became dry yet again, and grabbed your phone. Clicking on your food delivery applications didn’t even feel real and as soon as you were on the app, you were confused to how you even got there or forgot that you had grabbed your phone in the first place. Hook was giggling to himself while you scrolled through several restaurants before settling on your favorite comfort food and ordered a ridiculous amount of food from pizza to wings to garlic bread, which you knew you’d regret once you come down from your high after seeing all the money you spent.

“I just ordered pizza and it’s going to taste so frickin’ good.” Your voice slurred as your eyes kept closing, it was hard to keep them open. You moved around on your bed, trying to get comfortable, and when you grazed your fluffy blanket, it was a feeling never felt before. The softness on your skin was such a satisfying, truly unexplainable feeling. It didn’t even make sense how good it felt. Meanwhile, Hook was completely mesmerized by the random stock photos that displayed on your tv screen while it sleeps. Photos ranging from random scenery in the mountains or lakes to animals had Hook in a trance.

“This is the best vacation I’ve ever been on.” Hook happily sighed as a slight smile appeared on his face while he continued to look at the photos, which you soon joined in on. “Hook, when did we go to the zoo? Why are we in Alaska now? Did we time travel?” You made comments after each photo and it actually did feel like you were in every picture that showed up.

The food you had ordered a while ago had finally came and walking down the stairs was an experience. Hook had forgotten that he had legs and almost fell down the stairs, which resulted in you have to grab onto him the whole way down. When you opened your door and looked outside, the sight of nature had almost moved you to tears. The bright light blue sky and the tree leaves dancing in the light wind was something you thought you created in your mind, but it was real and it was very weird to try to comprehend that.

The two of you went back up to your room and laid the food on your bed. Once again, what you had done previously felt like a dream and not something you had actually done. Everything that was happening right now, even opening the pizza box, felt like a huge dream. Hook took a bite of his pizza and groaned, chewing slowly. “This tastes so good.” He said, taking more bites after.

It took you both almost 40 minutes to even make a dent in your food, that’s how slow the two of you were eating. The slow eating wasn’t even to savor the food, it was because of your movements and how long it took you to process all of this, but it did also taste delicious. You decided to be creative and somehow put your pizza slice on top of your garlic bread and took a bite, nodding your head at the flavors jumping in your mouth. “You’re fucking that shit up!” Hook said, laughing loudly while he looked at you. The two of you were a mess; tomato sauce was on the corner of your lips, Hook had tomato sauce on his nose somehow, and both of you had fingers coated in barbecue.

The two of you knew that you needed to get cleaned up and that’s what you did, starting with throwing out the boxes of food, which was a hard enough task due to the current circumstances. Hook had almost dropped all of the food onto the floor and you had forgotten where your trash can was. When it was time for you to wash your hands, it was a top ten feeling. The water on your skin and the pressure of the water was perfect, it felt so wrong yet it was so right and you didn’t want to turn the water off. You swore shivers ran down your spine while you washed your hands.

After you had cleaned up, the two of you laid on your bed again. Now the exhaustion was hitting you and what you really wanted to do was sleep. Hook took you into his arms as the two of you laid on your sides, looking at each other. “I’ve been with you all day and you still don’t even look real to me.” He laughed, reaching a hand out to feel your face.

While you laid there, it took a few more hours for you to feel almost like yourself again. It was strange going from feeling somewhat normal back to being high out of your mind over and over again. Hook, on the other hand, enjoyed it. Being high gave him some kind of solace and relaxation, on top of feeling everything at a more heightened sense that also made him feel silly, was fun to him. He enjoyed it so much that he made sure to ask you, once this was all over, when the next time the two of you would be doing this.

You decided that you didn’t hate your experience or how getting high felt, so you’d start doing it whenever either of wanted to. Surely it wouldn’t be an every day thing, which you two agreed was a crazy idea, but doing it sporadically going forward gave the two of you something to be excited about.

#hook #aew hook #aew hook imagine #aew hook headcanon #aew hook drabble #aew #aew imagine

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purplepenntapus · 4 years ago

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Rating Versions of Harry Osborn: Updated

Wanted to redo this post with a more comprehensive and inclusive list of Harrys

616 Comics:

Just such a good and complex character. The OG Harry. His relationship with Peter just adds so much depth to every Green Goblin arc because of the inherent conflict of Peter knowing he needs to take down Norman Osborn, but not wanting to hurt or lose his best friend. (If you’ve read Kindred no you haven’t.) He’s still... ugly... I’m sorry 616 Harry... I love you so much but they did you dirty... Some artists do their best with what they have but... I’m not a big fan of western comic style in general so that doesn’t help. Has three failed marriages by the time he’s 30 because he’s gay and deeply closeted. 8/10

Spider-Man the Animated Series (1994):

The Harry plotline in this show reeeeally doesn’t feel earned, because the first time we see Harry having an active role in the show, he asks Peter to move in with him because Norman wants him to have a responsible studious roommate (a detail from the comics I was EXTREMELY excited to see play out), and Peter comments that they barely know each other. Ultimately they live together for all of one day before Peter decides to move back in with Aunt May. The next time we see Harry, MJ calls him Peter’s best friend, despite the fact that we haven’t seen Peter hanging out with—or even MENTIONING—Harry since the last episode when they were basically strangers. Really it feels like he’s just there to cause romantic drama as the guy MJ graciously settles for when she gives up on Peter. I found the whole goblin plotline kind of boring and lacking in depth. 3/10

Raimi Trilogy:

I was never interested in Raimi Harry until after I started liking and exploring other versions of Harry, because I just thought he was kinda a shit friend. He’s a pretty strong character overall, but his motivations aren’t as obvious. He’s torn between his love of Peter as his best friend, and his bitterness towards Peter for being the man his father wished he was. I don’t think Raimi Harry really wanted MJ, he just wanted to get back at Peter in a way by taking someone that HE loved. However I feel like his characterization kind of sways back and forth between sympathetic and not depending on how he’s written in the scene, and it disappoints me that the thing that gets him to stop tormenting Peter is the butler telling him out of nowhere that Norman died from his own blade, rather than any real character development on his part. 6/10

Spectacular Spider-Man:

I still haven’t watched all of this show because I... can’t STAND this version of Peter... but I’ve watched many clips with this boy and he’s just... so sweet... He only wants to be loved and keeps getting his heart broken. Deserves better. On everything. He deserves a better father, a better best friend, better love interests, everything. I do really enjoy the way they incorporated 616 Harry’s drug abuse into this show with the Globulin Green, it was a very clever way to incorporate that aspect of his character, but tone it down for younger viewers. I’ve watched the scene of him getting “unmasked” as the Green Goblin about a million times it’s very good. 8/10

Ultimate Spider-Man:

I love him. Most people fear drifting apart from those close to us, so watching Harry struggle with the new and increasing distance between him and Peter as Peter seemingly makes new, “better” friends is downright heartbreaking. Especially when he overhears Sam implying that Peter only hangs out with him for his money which is something he’s clearly experienced a lot. (Seriously Sam what the fuck.) I also love his struggle with Venom throughout the series as a metaphor for his anger and bitterness, it’s never truly gone even when they work hard to remove it. It’s always there to bubble back up under extreme amounts of stress, especially when Norman is involved. (Also this isn’t a Norman review, but USM Norman is the only version of Norman Osborn that has rights and he works hard to be the father Harry deserves.) Had an honest to God meet-cute with Peter like come on???? Its unfortunate how much they cut back Harry’s role in the third and fourth season, I really would have loved to see more of him. Threw a party specifically so he could ignore Peter to his face because he was jealous and I respect that level of pettiness. 9/10

Spider-Man: The New Animated Series

I didn’t think it was possible to create an uglier Harry than 90s Harry but this blonde, fuck-boy lookin creepass came and proved me wrong. Who the FUCK is this?? Doesn’t have any recognizable characteristics of Harry Osborn besides being rich and hating Spider-Man. Also just... look at him. I wouldn’t trust this man anywhere NEAR my drink at a party. #NotMySon -3/10

The Amazing Spider-Man:

He’s okay. I think he has some very emotional scenes and good chemistry with Peter, but it’s dampened by the fact that he wasn’t present in the first film and had to share the second with like two other main plot lines. Ultimately ends up being the least sympathetic version of Harry Osborn because he became the original Green Goblin and killed Gwen, rather than following in his father’s footsteps. That’s not to say he’s a completely unsympathetic character. He has a strong motivator in his fear of death, and I do think the choice they made for his character were interesting and could have developed really well, but they didn’t get the chance since the franchise was dropped. 5/10

PS4 Spider-Man:

ABSOLUTELY ADORE HIM. WISH WE GOT MORE OF HIM. HAVING YOUR EXPECTATIONS OF HARRY OSBORN BROKEN AS YOU SNEAK AROUND NORMAN’S PENTHOUSE AND LEARN THAT HE’S BEEN SECRETLY STRUGGLING WITH A GENETIC DISEASE HE’S BEEN HIDING FROM HIS BEST FRIENDS FOR YEARS WAS -chef’s kiss- GENIUS. PLEASE GIVE US A SECOND GAME WITH VENOM HARRY. 10/10

Marvel’s Spider-Man (2017):

Still easily my favorite version of Harry Osborn. When I first began watching the show I was startled by their decision to make Harry a science genius like Peter because it was so different from their usual dynamic, and many people who aren’t fans of the show point to this as something they dislike. But I actually ended up really loving the decision. It gives a different flavor to Harry in how he reacts to the events of the show and how we interpret his character traits, while still being very inherently Harry Osborn. Harry is jealous of Peter, he loves him dearly, but there’s always this ember of bitter envy ready to burst into anger whenever the plot creates friction between them. This is one of the defining traits of their relationship and in most versions it’s not hard to understand why. Peter has what Harry wants. He’s intelligent, he has potential, and most importantly he’s loved. Peter is the son Harry knows Norman wishes he had, and that creates a wedge between them. Marvel’s Spider-Man changes this dynamic. Harry can easily stand toe-to-toe with Peter in terms of intelligence, and in fact they often work together to create things or solutions Peter couldn’t have come up with on his own. That initial wedge between them isn’t there, creating a very endearing and loving friendship that we know is doomed to sour because it isn’t enough. MSM Harry could be the person Norman wants him to be, and that places the full weight of his father’s impossibly high expectations on his shoulders, always within reach but never quite achievable. So it makes a lot more sense why Peter initially has a low guard towards Norman (as opposed to some other series where Peter seems oddly dismissive of Harry’s justified complaints) and Harry’s own steadfast loyalty to his father. On the surface Norman seems like a perfectly loving parent, he encourages his son, he created an entire school for him when he was wrongfully accused of sabotage, it’s only when you start to dig deeper into their relationship that you see the subtle manipulations and the issues Harry has from constantly chasing his father’s approval. This creates a Harry who is desperate for validation and extremely sensitive to rejection, which colors his relationship with Peter throughout the show. I’m still mad he got nerfed in the second and third seasons because Disney is homophobic. TLDR: I may be biased ... Infinity/10

MCU:

Where is he? Who knows? Man missing in action. ?????/10

#Harry Osborn #spider-man #msm 2017 #did i rant about various Harry Osborns way longer than I intended to? Yes yes I did #if anyone reads this tell me if i missed any prominent Harrys lmao #long post

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squiiids · 4 years ago

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Gut Punch (A game accurate way, and an actually decent way)

"It's supposed to mean "a punch made of innards", but the name actually described what you feel while drinking it."

So this drink was a pain in the ass to make. It's easy enough to throw together some stuff that feels like a fist making contact with your gut, especially when you're working with high proof stuff. I coulda just mixed some straight rye, 151 proof rum, and a glug of absinthe just to make you really hate yourself, but the problem with that lies in the name and flavor text of the drink. It's a punch. There's a series of rules on what to put in it, and what sort of flavor you should be looking for. So, I took the basis of every punch, the classic 17th century recipe in the form of a poem (one part sour, two parts sweet, three parts strong, four parts weak) improvised up a few less traditional ingredients, rebalanced until it tasted right and came up with the following:

Gut Punch as Game Accurate as I Could Manage

1/2 oz lemon juice

1 oz Gut Stock* (recipe under the cut)

1.5 oz Rye Whiskey

1.5 oz Arrack

3-4 dashes Angostura bitters

Shake and pour into an Old Fashioned glass over crushed ice, Add a generous shake of cinnamon and serve.

Gut Punch if it were a decent drink

1/2 oz lime juice

1 oz oleo-saccharum**

1.5 oz dark rum

2 oz Gut Stock* (recipe under the cut)

2 dashes orange bitters

Shake and pour into an Old Fashioned glass over crushed ice. Grate some nutmeg on top and serve

So hey! there's some weird ingredients in there, and I'm gonna talk about em and how to actually make em in a bit, but first let's talk flavors. For starters the game accurate version. Don't make this. It is very accurate to the sensation of a gut punch. There is the initial shock of impact, followed by a slow, dreadful bitterness that has you gagging. Have more than a couple in rapid succession, and you're viable to throw up from the experience.

The second version? It's sweet, loaded with citrus flavor, the bitterness and the sweetness play well together with a drink that is no doubt good for a hot sunny day, which we're moving into as the seasons are changing. Those funky ingredients, oleo-saccharum and Gut Stock, as I called em? I'm definitely gonna have them stocked up in my fridge. In fact, both of them are a good way to keep you from wasting your citrus.

But what ARE both of them exactly? That, as well as how to make em i'm gonna talk about under a read more, since this is already long as hell

So to start off, the name Gut Punch got me thinking. It is supposedly a "punch made of innards", but what innards could they be talking about? Ignoring the less pleasant ideas that this is a mixed drink that somehow uses sweetbread or tripe, I opted to instead interpret this as the guts of an ingredient you would *expect* in a punch, citrus fruits. If you ever work in a bar that uses fresh juice and twists, you know that you're gonna wind up with tons of little juiced and peeled fruity husks that you'll just throw out otherwise. and THAT was my inspiration for the star of this drink, the aforementioned Gut Stock.

But first, I wanna talk Oleo-Saccharum, cuz thats a weird, kinda uncommon ingredient, but it is a really simple one, actually. It's basically sweetened citrus oils that you get by covering muddled peels in sugar, waiting a day, and straining em out. I don't want to waste too much time on this, because other people have talked about this, and better than I'm capable of doing, so you could find a solid recipe for this stuff by searching around.

On the other hand, I'm the only person in the world who knows what the heck i'm talking about when i say the words "Gut Stock" and it's really simple, actually. It was my mission to use every last piece of your citrus fruits reaching the final stage

Gut Stock

combine the pith and pulp of 6 juiced and peeled citrus fruits with 4 cups of water and bring to a boil

lower the heat to a medium-low, and simmer for 45 minutes, when finished, strain out the fruits and pulp.

That's really all it takes, and what's this taste like? The best way to describe it is creeping bitterness. When you take your first sip, it'll taste vaguely like the juice of the fruits it came from, but that gets very quickly overwhelmed by the taste of pure citrus pith. It's not entirely unpleasant, though, as curiosity got the better of me when I mixed it in with the usual punch fixings, and I gotta say, this beats out thinning your punch with water any day of the week. Bitter citrus is frigging amazing when properly sweetened, and this junk is a really nice way to showcase it. Plus it isn't hard to make, and if you mix a lot of drinks, you'll probably already have some juiced fruits on hand. May as well save em and throw them into a stock pot to make a gimmick drink every now and again.

#VA-11 HALL-A #Mixology #cocktails

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technogeekmituna · 3 years ago

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ROTT SPOILERS

Man, that ending really just ruined my emotional state, and I've been in this weird mood of "That didn't happen, right?" to "DreamWorks really can't handle series ending movies, huh" to "Jim wouldn't give up the amulet like that without a plan" to "I'm bitterly happy it concluded, but I'm so frustrated that I have a headache because that ending leads to a complete loss of everything they learned and accomplished"

I dont understand the writing. I saw Guillermo credited as a writer, and I'm wondering if the directors are to blame then. Cause while the plot was pretty cohesive, it felt like some stuff was rushed or kinda like brushed over so everything could keep pace together. Like, after the first act of the movie everything started to feel a little disjointed, and then, like, I feel, like, the time traveling element is a bit... nonsensical. We already established what would happen if Jim decided not to take the amulet. Draag took his place and the Eternal Night happened and the world essentially ended, because Jim needed to become the Trollhunter.

Like, I can't understand the logic why Jim would let go of everything he said was meant for him and lead to him, it was all purposeful because he was meant to be the Trollhunter. He died for that realization, literally and figuratively (in the mental state to become more.)

You can't-- The writers can't just expect that ending to make any sense when Jim is the only person to remember anything but he reset everything to EPISODE ONE.

And also, why and how did everyone just assume Jim meant he would go back to prevent everything by going back to the beginning instead of, like, a couple days prior or a year prior or something

What does him going back to the beginning, giving Toby the responsibilities of the amulet-- Actually, hold on, what does Toby have now that he didn't at the beginning of the series now that time got retconned after a hard fought good ending that got restarted? Everything got a fresh start soo.... whatever Toby acquired or learned or accomplished in his character arc the first time around doesn't exist. Not to mention what does the amulet see in Toby now?!

The amulet wouldn't choose Toby just because Jim told him to take the canal. Jim doesn't have that authority. The amulet would have found a way back to Jim or something. Nothing against Toby, but, like, I don't think he would have the fortitude or capabilities to endure what was required of Jim to become the Trollhunter.

Nothing would play out the same. Everything is different standing at the divergence of Toby hearing the amulet. It's automatically a doomed timeline, lmao. I'm sorry, but??

I hate what happened with Nomura. That was really uncool how they took her out. Like, I get how they wrote her death and I guess that reads fine, but it was not executed well. It was too quick, too sudden, unworthy. Just poor.

I don't think Strickler needed to sacrifice himself because it was for nothing anyway. I mean to be fucking fair, what did they think highly explosive human made bombs were going to do against an ancient wizard wielding a giant titan of ice?? It was to be expected that it wouldn't work. Yes, yes, they were doing all that they could, but after all they'd encountered with magic and shit you would think they'd be a little smarter about their choices. It was just unnecessary. And while I did cry, especially because I felt bad for Jim and his mom, I have to ask what the fuck was that with his dad? Why did Barbara bring that up for it to go nowhere? No insight, no plot push forward, no revelations, just the same we've been told before and a "We don't give up no matter what" line.

I loved the fight with the two titans. It was good and well executed and hard-hitting. Nira died and her death was for a reason, a purpose.

Toby's death was impactful and sad, and he did stay by Jim to the end. It was for a purpose and it written well to work.

But Trollhunters have never had a good relationship with handling character deaths, imo. They're too fast to move on or the pacing sucks or it's like out of nowhere and done and now we stew with that death. Like, they hit emotionally, but more so because we loved those characters, not really because they died

I absolutely hate retconning deaths. It's a psych out. It ruins the mood. It makes it pointless. It pads out time. It's exhausting unless handled right and with a purpose.

The ROTT ending was baaaad. To be clear, Jim starting completely over was questionable and confusing and skeptical, but what made it baaaad was him giving Toby the amulet. I need context. I need an explanation. Why? What's the difference now? What will change? Will anything change? What's the new outcome??

Like, if they had used the last couple of minutes to breeze by everything again to catch us back up to the retconned ending to show what would happen with Toby being the new Trollhunter, then I might not be as sour and salty and bitter and other nasty flavors of mood.

But you can't tell me everything will play exactly as it did before. Absolutely not. Character arcs lost. Character development undone. Character relationships will be different. Big, impactful choices will differ or not exist at all or have vastly different outcomes. Nothing will be the same, and nothing will be better for this.

I just. Don't. Understand. I know some things were cut, but I don't see how those things would make the writing for the ending better unless things cut were explicitly on the ending and we're missing severe context for Jim's decision.

Sigh. Whatever. I'm gonna fucking pout and try to be 76% content with what we got.

#trollhunters rise of the titans #trollhunters #tales of arcadia #trollhunters rott #tales of arcadia spoilers #jess murmurs

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inventors-fair · 3 years ago

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Epithet Commentary

So, this ended up being a fairly popular contest. I think the prompt was really open and creative, but limiting enough that it wasn’t overwhelming. You all did a pretty good job with it, and I’m happy with the turn out.

Some themes I noticed? One was board wipes. A lot of legendary creatures have some sense of power or finality to their epithets. They’re all the biggest, or the strongest, or the most powerful of whatever they are. It led to a lot of ways to kill things, and a lot of black cards. I was impressed with the non-creatures as well: I was expecting a lot of enchantments and auras effectively granting the epithet to something, but there were a decent amount of spells, and even a few artifacts. In general I was impressed with the cleverness this week. Some people had a lot of fun throwing curve-balls. Picking cleverest reinterpretation wasn’t easy.

Enough talk, on to the talking! BTW, if there’s two paragraphs for an entry, the first is an art direction submitted by the designer.

@bread-into-toast - Archive Keeper

mood: flightless aven librarian, suspended in a cavernous maze of shelves

I like what you’re going for here. That first ability sounds really cool, and I could see it being sort of a build-around theme. I don’t know about uncommon, though. There would have to be quite a few ways to put cards into a library in the format, maybe a keyword that does it, like if flashback tucked instead of exiled. The exact wording of this would make cascade particularly scary if it were in the same format. I also like the flavor, caring for a literal library, and the art is great. Now lets get to my big issue with this: the activated ability. I do really like that you gave the card a way to trigger its first ability, but I think you went a little too aggressive with it. First, unless the format is particularly bad it it, this keyword is going to always be active. It’s cheap and requires a very easy resource to get. The fact that it stacks with multiple of these guys is also scary, especially with it being uncommon. Second, it’s off-color. I know it’s your own graveyard, so it’s not like it’s graveyard hate, but blue has never done this. White does it a little. Also, even though they’re separate, it does sort of read U: This creature gets +1/+0 and gains flying until EOT. That really isn’t blue. That’s fire breathing. Blue doesn’t get fire-breathing, at least not for a very, verly long time. White gets it very, very rarely, but I think it might be fine here. I know the colors are an attempt to put this card in the colors of “putting things in libraries,” which I think is good, but the exact payoff for doing it isn’t quite right.

@chungus-supreme - Lich Queen

Interesting take on Lich. Almost like a mix of Lich and Recycle. The number of permanents you have when you play this will never change. Unless of course you’re playing reanimator or something. It’s especially scary if you’re playing non-permanent cards. These types of cards are rather hard to judge, since saying “this is very swingy and will either lose or win you the game with no inbetween” is kind of the point. Putting lich on a creature is especially awkward since it leaves her open to wraths or sweepers. I do like how she doesn’t technically kill you, so she works will in lich-tribal decks which are more common than you’d expect. Still, I don’t think these kinds of cards are healthy for the game, even if they are fun and silly. They just lead to very simple “do you have it or not?” scenarios which can lead to sour players. Still, as I said, a neat take on the archetype.

@corporalotherbear - Young Conqueror

Art direction: A haughty young man, surrounded by kicked and humbled servants, wearing a crown reminiscent of the horns of a certain elder dragon planeswalker.

What an brat. I get what this card is doing. I like how the “young” part denotes its small power toughness, but the high mana cost and splashy ability makes it feel powerful. I don’t know if I quite agree with “conquerer” specifically, since it takes away from your opponents but doesn’t give you anything. I think that’s kinda minor. I like the ability itself, and I think it's probably costed right. The lose 1 life is mostly trinket text, but the other two effects are pretty strong. ETB discard is at two mana, ETB one-sided sacrifice isn’t actually super common, but on spells its about 2 mana, so a combined four mana is probably okay once you factor in the three colors (and it being a rare, unlike the cards I’m using as an example). I’m going to ignore the personal part of me that dislikes blink decks and aggressive ETB effects and say that this is something wizards would think is okay. And at least this loses value as the game goes on or against specific decks. So in total, I like it. And it’s a good use of this week’s challenge!

@col-seaker-of-the-memiest-legion - Royal Scion

Well isn’t that a pretty boy. So I get the treasure part. But I don’t get the last ability. You can spend money to save things? I don’t quite get what story you’re trying to tell. Mechanically, the card is fine, but there’s a few tiny issues. First, the last ability I believe can target itself. As in, you can sacrifice an artifact to make itself indestructible. Not very intuitive, but I expect it will happen often. That will essentially make this guy a 2/2 that comes with a 1/1, with a little utility. I guess that’s okay. The second issue is I don’t know where this guy is going. Treasure decks and artifact decks have less in common than you might expect: the former are aggressive and usually base red, the latter are usually slow and base blue. They both occasionally show up in white or black, but neither probably want a small body that gets you a few chump blockers and protect some stuff. At uncommon I could see this in maybe an artifact heavy set or a set with treasure synergies, but I’m having some difficulty. I think this guy is fine, but I’m just not a big fan of it.

@demimonde-semigoddess - Heart of Fire

Love the art there, it’s very evocative and really seals the card. I’m also surprised to see cipher; I’ve always thought the mechanic was cool, but it’s hard to do well. I think you may have fallen into the trap as well. This card is very strong. Two damage will usually be able to get at least a single blocker out of the way, and then you get to cast this card again for free most of the time. Most cipher cards were costed as though you were going to get two free casts a turn. The “draw a card” one costs four mana, for example, because it usually comes out as a divination + a curiosity rather than a cantriping curiosity. So this card ends up being really close to a reckless rage that you can go face with and can be recast. Think about Direct Current, which was also a sorcery and also cost you another resource and was 3 mana but still saw lots of limited play. I do like the fact that the card deals damage to the creature it’s encoded on, but because of how cipher works it’s hard to make it feel necessary. Unless the creature has trample, the damage is pretty much going to be all or nothing. Dealing small amounts of damage to your own creature is most relevant before combat. Doing damage after doesn’t usually matter unless it kills it. But it still makes it a cost: you can get another copy of it, but it’ll cost you a small creature. Despite all of my issues, I still like the card. It’s creative and flavorful, it’s just the sort of card that could dominate games, and should not be at common.

@dimestoretajic - Torch of Defiance

I don’t know what to say. It’s a good card. It’s got a very basic pump with a slightly fancier extra ability, and it feels flavorful. The defiance part is a little weak, but I get it. I also think you maybe could have upped one of the costs, or made the equip not have red. As is, it’s stronger than a lot of menace-granting equipment, and it even lets you spread it around. But maybe that’s just me wanting to play it safe. Anyway, card is good! I’m very happy with this one.

@fractured-infinity - Shifting Flame

What an amusing little card. The name helps me picture something, but not an equipment. However, seeing it, I actually like that interpretation. The idea of “wielding” a flame is a cool idea. The effect is cool, though a little weird. It reminds me a lot of balefire dragon, a 7 mana mythic, but maybe the fact that it needs a body and time to set up helps bring it down. I do enjoy some of the safety valves, such as it being double red, meaning it's harder to put it on a deathtoucher, and how it’s all or nothing, so you can’t remove the absolute minimum and have an easily repeatable board wipe. I’m still unsure how much I like this card exactly. Outside of balefire and shockmaw dragon, this effect is pretty rare. At a minimum, it turns a creature into shockmaw. Getting a blazing volley every turn is stronger than it sounds. It makes it hard to build up a board or get your smaller creatures bigger. I do like that, the longer this sits out, the more likely it turns into “equipped creature must be blocked.” Even with all the setup required, I’m a little scared of a reusable one-sided board wipe that just sits out until it's necessary. Granted, I’m not as scared to print this as a lot of cards, but I’d just want to see how it plays first. I think you made a cool card with a unique ability that could end up being a little too hard to come back from without direct answers.

@gayagendaofficial - Heretical Healer

For the art, I imagine a human man pulling a corpse out of a grave. The corpse is not yet fully out of the grave, but the man is already measuring it and preparing to saw off a limb.

Wow, this card is nuts! It’s a repeatable reanimator with very little effort. First, let me address some templating. After the “mill three cards” text, you can have the next sentence be connected. As in, “mill three cards, then you may...” Also, you don’t need to say “under your control” because it’s already coming from your graveyard, so it’s kind of assumed. Okay the card. So, if you play this card, as long as you have two creatures i your graveyard, this reanimates a creature. If you’re playing four of these guys, it’s entirely possible to play this, mill another, then reanimate it, then mill a clone, then clone this guy and do it again. If you’ve ever played when Gyruda combo was a thing, I could see this doing something similar. However, the card itself is pretty cool, and I think it’s worth saving. One option you have is just increasing the cost: I would suggest up to seven mana. Another thing you could do is restrict what you can reanimate, sort of like Gyruda. Perhaps it can only exile or only reanimate the cards it just milled? Or maybe come up with some other restriction, like it having to be a creature with a certain mana value or something. In summary, I like this card’s design, but it’s a little too easy to just be way too powerful in a good enough deck.

@ghoulcalculator64 - Dungeon Warden

I love cards like this. O-ring effects that care about what you O-ringed. How very “imprint” like of you. However, the connect doesn’t quite feel right to me. The two effects feel like they’re pushing in completely different directions. Banisher Pirest effects are best in aggressive decks, where having a removal spell on a creature is super relevant, and you can hopefully kill them before they get their creature back. The card draw half of this feels really weird in that style of deck. It seems really strange to have a ticking time bomb like this that just sits there to draw you cards. The high mana cost doesn’t help with that, but I don’t think it could be any cheaper, either. There’s also the fact that it can target your own creature. That feels really antithetical to the design, and can lead to shenanigans that are really counterintuitive to new players. That also sort of ties to one of the first (yet less legitimate) complaints about the card, which is that I think the last ability needs better flavor. I remember in the Discord you mentioned it was supposed to represent interrogating a prisoner for information. But if that were the case, wouldn’t you be exiling your opponent’s graveyard? And if you are allowed to target your own stuff, would you be interrogating yourself? Like I said, this is a little more nit-picky-y, but it really makes that last ability feel disconnected. If I hadn’t seen the Discord message, I wouldn’t have known what it was representing at all. I’ll also say that referring to “the exiled card” even though the card exiles a lot of cards is confusing, but I don’t really know a way to fix that. With all that said, I still don’t think this is a bad card. It’s well designed, creative, and although I say it pushes in opposite directions, sometimes that makes it more viable as a “Plan B” sort of card.

@gollumni - Sun’s Nemesis

Boy, this guy sure does hate the Sun! A little direct on the interpretation here. The white mana symbol is literally a sun, and red mana is… hot. I do love it being a shade, that feels like such a great flavor choice. Mechanically, gotta say I don’t like this card. There’s nothing an opponent can really do once this card hits play. The only real “fun” I think you can have with this card is playing a blood moon, but I don’t know if blood moon leads to fun games anyway. It’s also strange to have a card that does literally nothing but be an overcosted flyer in a lot of matchups. I think the fact that this triggers on every mana is also a bit much. If it cared about the spells being cast, even if it cared about mana costs, that would feel more fair. But right now it’s just so all or nothing, and so easy to make a mistake on. It also will lead to some more annoying players saying “do you tap it for blue or for white?” when a player uses their hallowed fountain to cast a colorless artifact. I get the style here, and I think it’s a really fun way to make a nemesis of the sun, but I think this card leads to unfun games.

@helloijustreadyourpost - Torch of Defiance

I do like the flavor of this card, and the art really helps with that. I like the fact that it just keeps getting stronger and stronger as the game goes on. However, I think it needed to make them stronger. In order to get the first counter, you need to pay a total of 5 mana and have your creature die from damage, all before getting a single amount of value from it. After you do that, though, it can finally start to snowball. Unless they have a bounce spell. What I’m saying is that this card is really fragile. Compare it to Malefic Scythe, which is cheaper, lower rarity, starts with a counter, and works with sacrifice outlets. While I know the damage clause feels correct, I think it’s putting too many restrictions on this card. If you wanted to avoid combos, I think “and it wasn’t sacrificed” would have really helped with that. You could also let counters be put on it when any creature dies form damage, not just the equipped one. I also think you have some extra space to put text on the front of it, so it could grant something while it’s still empty. Menace would be the most obvious and on color, but about anything could work. I could also see it starting with a counter. I like the auto-attach, but it’s really all this card has going for it, and I think it’s hard to take advantage of this card enough to be worth putting it in a deck.

@hiygamer - Cursed Huntsman // Primal Hunter

Fun fact: I have signed foil copies of both of the cards you used for art here. I will not let that color my opinion of the card. Luckily the card is pretty good anyway! I love a good, simple, well-made vanilla. This isn’t technically vanilla, but it’s close (it’s also not french or virtual vanilla, for those wondering). A 3/3 for 3 is a little under curve, but a 5/5 for three is pretty good, exactly what you want from a werewolf. I’m not sure how I feel about the exact flip condition, I kind of feel like a simple “transform this when X dies” would work very well, but then you get some awkward state-based damage effects for the big guy. My biggest complaint with the trigger as it is is that you can play the huntsman post-combat and have it flip right away. The original werewolf clause specifically worked against that, so that it would actually feel like you were transforming a card that had been on the battlefield and not just going straight to the end. I’m also really impressed by the names, which feel like perfect mirrors, sort of like breakneck rider // neck breaker and daybreak ranger // nightfall predator. I don’t normally do judge picks, but I really feel like this is a card I want to see. I like it.

@hypexion - Hate Seed

Now that’s what I call a bad seed! Love the art, by the way, as does my fiance who walked into the room a minute ago. I like this as a card that sort of sits out here and “grows,” much like a seed. It’s pretty easy to grow this guy, especially in mono-black. Playing this one turn two, then playing any number of bobs, sign in bloods, or group pingers like Spawn of Mayhem can get this guy massive by the time you pop him on turn 5, not to mention actual damage! Most cards like this put some sort of restriction on the loss of life, such as paying life, only life you/your opponent loses, or once-per turn. I think it needed something like that, because even without building around this card you can often get it above 10 power by the time you hatch it, at instant speed no less! And with trample! Oofta! From a purely design perspective, I’m glad you put the counters on it, and at the right time, rather than just making an X/X, both because those are hard to remember and also because it helps this card double dip on counter synergies. However, I worry a lot about the memory issues of the first ability, since loss of life comes in many forms and could be confusing to many (i.e. is it more counters for more damage? Does multiple creatures in combat count? What if I gain life at the same time?). Also, and this is really a nitpick, but I think this either wants to tap to activate or be an enchantment. So in total, I think this card is better than it looks and more difficult to play correctly than it looks, which makes for a generally good card but one I’d be worried about printing.

@i-am-the-one-who-wololoes - Mirror-Breaker

Art direction: On the right, Mirror-Mad's "main" spirit (the one in the hallway) is exiting a mirror, who is being ruptured by this fact. On the left, with their back on the ground, someone is terrorized, a hand raised up as to defend themselves from the angry spirit.

This is a type of card we don’t see a lot of. At a minimum, it’s a big hastey one-hit-wonder. But you can hang onto it for a while if you’re smart! I like the literal interpretation of the name. It literally breaks mirrors. And if it doesn’t, then it gets angry and leaves. You can even use it as an artifact sac outlet if you somehow need that. I’m a little unsure about the deathtouch. It seems very unlikely that 5 power won’t kill, and with flying and 1 toughness it’s rare that they’ll double block and need you to spread damage. If anything, the deathtouch is more relevant for blocking. It’s actually kind of strange that this has a downside for attacking, despite having haste and flying and five power, but you can just have it sitting on the back line, read to trade for any creature they have. I don’t think people would do that, but it’s strange how much it kind of rewards you for not attacking. The strange mix of things happening on this card and the different directions this card is being pulled make it hard to put this in a deck.

@jund-berserker - Locus of Rage

I like what this card is trying to do, but it’s way, way too good. At a minimum, you can cast this, name a number of a card in your hand, then cast it. You get a three mana bolt (which is plenty playable, especially in limited at uncommon) and the inevitable ability to do it again. If you name 1 or zero, you can likely win the game with this the turn or two after you play it in almost every eternal format. Compare this card to Aria of Flame, Imminent Doom, or Eidolon of the Great Revel. All these cards are less consistent and harder to build around, or are symmetrical. This just lets you turn half the spells in your deck or more into free lightning bolts. Also, the fact that it triggers on your opponents’ spells just feels mean and oppressive. However, like I said, I like what ou were trying here. I just think that if this had said 1 damage, or maybe 2 damage but only going face, maybe this would be okay, but right now it’s just too good.

@loreholdlesbian - Slumbering Isle

I like the description of a volcano being a “slumbering isle.” That’s a really clever way to reinterpret that. However, I think the “isle” part was either taking too far or not far enough. Basically, I don’t know why this taps for blue beyond the name. It’s sacrifice effect is entirely red. I’d say add a scry or something, but we already have Surtland Frostpyre. This is especially a strange case because lands, as we all know, are colorless. So it’s not like it’s a break or anything, right? But Maro has said that activations costs follow the same rules as cards when it comes to colors. If this activation requires blue, it should do something blue. Alternatively, maybe drop the blue entirely from this card. Or, if you want to make it feel really flavorful, drop the blue from the cost but make it only tap for blue, to really sell the idea of a normal island turning into a scary volcano.

@maizenolo - Lunarch Marshal

That’s cute. Lunarch, moonfolk, that’s so clever. And it’s really cool that you gave it the moonfolk ability to bounce lands. However, that signature ability is… bad. It’s not particularly fun to keep bouncing lands. As with you card specifically, I have two issues with it. First, I don’t think blue gets +1/+0. The only cards that really do it usually have some other thing attached, usually unblockability, so just a flat buff seems weird. I don’t think it’s a color break, but it doesn’t feel blue. Second, this ability is so repeatable I’m worried players are going to overuse it and it will lead to frustrated players. If you just want to hit for three a turn, you’ll slowly be going down lands. Worse yet, imagine you attack your opponent late in the game and they’re at five life. You can bounce all your lands, and maybe they’ll die, but if you get hit with removal you’re going to lose the game, all because of this ability. Is it unfair to blame the designer for a player misplaying a card? Probably, but it’s our job as designers to encourage players to make the right decisions, because the better decisions they make, the better game they’ll have, and the more fun they’ll have. That's the end goal as a designer, isn’t it? I think a good way to get around this is to increase the mana cost, limit it to once per turn, or make it not as useful on repeat uses. For example, if it gave +1/+0 and unblockable, I think it would be less likely that a player would repeat it (though it would need to be costed differently). I think moonfolk are really hard to design. Still, I like the way you answered the prompt.

@misterstingyjack - River Guide

I like this card, but I also have a lot to say. First, the first ability is weird. In general, cards that get better based on your opponents lands have been phased out. There’s nothing your opponent can do about it for the most part, so it just feels mean. However, a single card ebing drawn isn’t that bad, and it’s especially interesting here because drawing a card is the one thing blue decks most want to avoid letting their opponents do. They want to one for one with counters. So this is more of just a strange hoser ability. The last ability has one obvious issue: you can exert something without tapping it. Currently, as written, after activating the ability, the island would still be untapped. But that’s a simple fix: just say “tap and exert an untapped island you control.” I kind of feel like you could have avoided the exert keyword, since it doesn’t really fit flavorfully and it’s not an evergreen keyword. I maybe would have just said that it doesn’t untap in the ability itself. But anyway, the card itself. I think it’s… fine? It’s sort of like a mix of key to the city and the first Thasa card. I think this is one of those cards where it either does nothing in the format or is a four of in a top tier deck. It really depends on the format. But I think independent of all that, I think it’s an okay designed card. And the flavor is spot on, very clever.

@naban-dean-of-irritation - Fractal Bloom

Oh no! Math! This card adds up quickly. It doesn’t quite double your counters each turn, but it gets pretty dang close. This is a really scary card in two ways. It’s very scary when it’s going off, but it’s also really scary to put in a deck. This card really needs to be uilt around to be useful. Yes, this means having cards that have counters, but it also needs a bit of a payoff, still. You can spread counters around, which is nice, but it’s slow enough that you aren’t going to be using it aggressively. At the same time, you don’t want cards that “spend” counters, like Fertilid, because the counters need to stick. So you’ll mostly want this for doubling the power of trampling hydras. I think this card is a little weaker than it looks. I wish this card had a better fail state. I wish it had some very minor but possible way to add counters. Perhaps an expensive activated ability, or that it puts a minimum of one on a card. As is, the card could very easily do nothing, especially considering it costs six mana, requires a board, and doesn’t do anything until your next turn, giving your opponents a lot of ways to interact with it. I think this could probably cost 5 mana, maybe even four if it has a more restrictive color cost. In general, “win more” cards like this are only really fun if they do win you the game quickly or if there’s something do with them when you aren’t using it to win.

@pocketvikings - Defiant Hero

Art Description: We're seeing our hero from the back, charging the Big Bad and facing whatever spells are being thrown at them.

I get it, it’s a hero! Like heroic! But the fact that it triggers on opponents makes it feel like it’s not just a hero, but a defiant one. One who fights through the trouble. I’m having trouble making up my mind on that last bit. Part of me thinks it’s useless. If it makes your creature indestructible, why would your opponent ever cast a removal spell on it? The indestructible will never be relevant because it will always be there. Which means it is relevant. But it also just sort of feels like hexproof from spells? But not if its exile or -X/-X effects. Though opponents are probably very often going to fall for “give your creature -2/-2 oh woops its too big now” which, while clearly on them is something that should probably be avoided. Basically, it’s an ability that is either never going to be used, feel like it isn’t relevant, or only be useful if your opponent misplays. That’s all kind of awkward. Lastly, and this is a big one, this card isn’t rare. This feels a lot worse than Tenth District Legionnaire, which is at uncommon

@rasputingold - Hunger Tide

So this one’s a bit wild. The insect token is a little closer to its origin card, Grist, than I would have liked for this contest, but I can look past that. The fact that you get one for every creature on the battlefield is crazy powerful, though at least they can’t block so you don’t immediately get chumpers forever. I kind of wish there were more of a limiter there, either non-insect, only opponents control, or only you control. As is, this barely needs anything to get nuts. The last ability is very hard to parse. More often than not, it will just be “each player sacrifices a creature,” since it takes 6 insects before they need to sacrifice anything more than 2 toughness, which I feel is about average. I also realize that it being symmetrical balances both the ability and the card as a whole, since you’ll eventually lose all your insects, but it all seems so weirdly roundabout. Lets say you have a creature and they have two when you play this. You add 3 creatures, pass, come back to you, you sacrifice two of your insects. Those insects have done nothing but make math hard. I’ll also say the fail state of this card is still amazing. It’s been a while, but The Abyss is still a four mana card, and this is very nearly strictly better than it. I will say, though, I really enjoy the execution of the story here. They come in slowly, but eat away at smaller creatures until they eat the big ones or die off. It’s a very, very good mechanical representation of a locust swarm. I just think its too complex for any normal magic set.

@real-aspen-hours - Monstrous Raider

NOTE: this is a render created by me. Originally submitted as text.

Vampire Barbarian is a terrifying thought, but a cool concept. I like the fact that this seems so willing to fight that it will stop trying to win the game in order to kill something. I worry that an on-board way to repeatedly deal with creatures is too strong, though. If your opponent ever has just one creature in play, it’s going to be really hard to deal with this guy. They NEED two creature in play, but the fact that this kills one every turn makes that hard. Also, I’ll say that the template is probably different than what you’ve got, looking at a card like Soltari Guerillas. Still, the two toughness at least makes it pretty easy to kill, so it’s a pretty high risk and a pretty high reward. So while it’s probably fine, I worry that this could lead to really frustrating board states.

@reaperfromtheabyss - Cradle of the Sun

This is cute. Love the feeling of a cradle here, and how different it feels from the original. I also have a soft spot for cards like this: Colfenor’s Urn, Cold Storage, Endless Sands. They all have such weird utility. I like that you kind of skip to the end with this card: rather than playing this, wrathing, then getting your creatures back, you play this, wait for a wrath, then wait for them to build their board, then wrath while un-wrathing. It’s such a weird concept and would probably make for some interesting games. Don’t get me wrong, I like it and I love the concept. I just have no idea how it would play. In general on-board wraths lead to long, drawn-out games because no one wants to dedicate to a board state. The fact that this lets you continue to do so is neat, but could be frustrating. At the same time, you’re leaving yourself to get blown out by artifact removal if you’re not careful. So yeah, as a whole, I like it, but would really want to playtest with it before I printed it.

@scavenger98 - Battle Seraph

So I’ll start off with the obvious, which you even admitted to, which is that this is very close to the card its based on, basandra. Same cost, same type, some power. But the rest is very different! The comparison to Omnath is pretty clear, and I’m glad that card exists to give us a clear idea of the templating. Other than the “is” needing to be “are” I think you got it right. As for the exact ability, I think it’s kind of messy. For omnath, the three abilities felt very linked, even if it was just because they all had the number four. Linking them helped you remember what they do: I get 4 of something, just gotta remember what. Here, the three abilities feel very disconnected. One gains life and is dependant on how much damage was dealt, the second makes a very specific token, and the last is a generically good effect. The triggering condition is also really weird. It doesn’t care which creatures, so you have to pay attention to exactly what happens on every turn to every creature. The fact that the first ability cares about how much damage is also really weird and hard to do. You have to count every damage done to everything every turn. But, if your opponent pings a creature in response, you don’t gain any of it, just the ping. The next two abilities I kind of like. A little token is nice, and I like how it makes it easier to trigger in the future by not having first strike. The last ability is almost definitely out-of-color, but considering how much work it takes (first strike, normal combat, and a spell/ability all dealing damage to creatures) maybe makes it worth it. I’m probably wrong, and it’s still probably not okay to let Boros draw cards, but you gotta try. So as a whole, I really want to like this card, and I really like the directions it's pushing, but I think it’s just really, really hard to keep track of what this card is doing while it's in play.

@shakeszx - Wielder of Mysteries

Love the flavor here, great use of an epithet. I’m wondering if this would finally be the card to make this ability work. For reference, Mind Reaver and Grimoire Thief have tried this sort of “use your own cards as counter fuel,” and neither have been all that playable outside of combos. This guy has no combo potential, but boy does he mill! Each end step and each opponent means milling four cards a turn, more in multiplayer (though this guy doesn’t do much else in EDH, the most popular multiplayer format). The fact that he doesn’t doesn’t sacrifice to counter really sets him apart. Putting the card in the graveyard so it isn’t a hard lock is something I appreciate, and I’ll say here that you probably could have said that as the cost to save some space (i.e. 1UU, put a face-down card exiled by ~ into its owner’s graveyard: counter target spell with the same name as that card). My guess as to what kind of deck would play this is some sort of flash deck that can leave up the mana or maybe a control deck that tries to leave this in play as a mill win-con. I don’t know how great it fits into either of those with it’s squishy wizard body, but at least it has a place. I wish there was a way to make this safer to play. Maybe give it ward or more toughness or even more power and flying so it has something to do rather than sit there and hope to be useful. I think this is better than other cards that do the same thing, but I don’t know if it's quite good enough to see play.

@snugz - The Hidden Realm

Very clever to put this on a land. Lands are almost never legendary, even if they feel like it or have “The” in the name. As for this card specifically, I don’t think you realize what this does. When you tap it for mana, it phases out. It will phase back in at the start of your untap step. That means that this is a five color land with no downside other than that it can’t be untapped and used again if you’re using it for colored mana. In fact, it’s a lot better, since your opponent will never be able to target it with removal, rare as that is. So yeah, this card is way too good. Five color land with upside.

@starch255 - Tower of Triumph

Gotta say, was not expecting this one, and not just because I did not know that path of mettle’s back half had an epithet. I love the towers. It was one of the first “whoops, we forgot to finish that cycle because we didn’t even think of it as a cycle” cycles. I’m a little unsure of the templating here. I feel like there needs to be an “each” or “all” in there somewhere to make it clear that you’re not just “activating abilities” but activating at least one per card. This is one of those funny cards where taking it as face value is hilarious. Requiring 48 mana and 6 overcosted cards in play to win the game is essentially impossible. However, having 6 bad cards in play, then playing Galazeth Prismari or Flame Fusillade and paying 8 mana may be more doable, if not “intended.” So this card has a casual, obvious, fun-but-not-viable way to sue it and another less difficult way to use it. I still wish it had some fail state. Maze’s End, for example, has a long and slow win condition tied into it, but it also fixes your mana slowly. Thassa’s Oracle can let you fix your draws. Win conditions tend to be more fun and more playable if there’s something you can do with them before winning, especially for a card like this where it will need to stand on the field a little while probably and therefore risk getting hit by removal.

@takemuse1 - Sengir Thrall

I cannot find any card that has the epithet “Sengir Thrall.” I think you may have either misread the prompt or submitted to the wrong contest. Either way, the card seems fine. I like what you’re trying to do here.

@teaxch - Celestial Wind

I remember the wind cycle, even had a few, for some reason. Here’s a card that hits a bunch of stuff. Get rid of up to three things, get back up to three things. It’s a little wordy. I think it’s possible to make this non-modal, but my suggestion would be “Choose one or both: -Exile target artifact, target enchantment, and/or target creature. - Return target artifact card, target enchantment card, and/or target creature card from your graveyard to the battlefield.” It still reads a little complicated, but at least you wouldn’t have the super weird blank space on the upper right of the card. The functionality of the card actually fits the rest of the cycle pretty well. It’s okay. It’s hard to make a nine mana card that feels worth it that doesn’t just win you the game. I think if you’re playing this you’re mostly going to be using it for the reanimation, since it will be pretty rare for your opponent to have all three permanent types, but there’s better ways to reanimate each of those types, and having a mix of types makes the deck harder to build. You really need at least four modes firing for this card to be even playable, and that’s not easy. Obviously multiplayer is where this card shines, especially EDH, but even there I don’t know if you want a nine mana card unless you can cast it for free, and again, there’s better cards to do that with. I think this card is trying to make up for its cost with its versatility, but there’s a difference between a card always having a use and a card always being useful. This will never be a dead card, but I don’t think it’ll ever be exactly what you need. Final note: compared to Blood on the Snow and Casualties of War, this could pretty easily be a rare.

@walker-of-the-yellow-path - Artful Provocateur

I read your submission comment before the text box and you got me excited for a card with provoke. Instead, it’s got goad, which is the opposite but also the better keyword, so yeah, that’s fine. I like the second ability, it’s got a lot of flavor to it and I could see it being a key card in some decks, like Marisi EDH. The last ability is fitting in a goad-style deck, and works well with the theme. The first ability I don’t think I’m a fan of. Spending a treasure to cast this guy feels weird, since you’d need the extra mana anyway to activate the ability. And if you’re not activating the ability, then you’re just attacking with a 2/1, which is not worth sacking a treasure most of the time. I’d say that it’s neat trinket text to encourage players to play this in a treasure deck, but the middle ability already does that. But I’ll stop focusing on that for now. I like the last two abilities and how well they play together and how nicely they fit in a deck. I like the creature types as well. I wonder a bit about the rarity. Repeatable goad only happened by attacking (which means it didn’t repeat often) or by having it permanently on a single creature, even at rare. The timing is also going to be strange, since you’ll be waiting until the declare attackers step 90% of the time, meaning your opponent’s must be constantly aware of you goading one of their creatures as soon as they move to combat. That’s going to make combat a nightmare. Limiting to sorcery speed would be great. If this is meant to be a conspiracy style set, I think this card is doing way too much at uncommon. If this is meant to be in a commander precon, I kind of understand it as attempting to combine multiple themes. In fact, this seems like it’s trying to combine the two commanders of the RB commander deck they just released: Prosper having a treasure theme and the Eye Tyrant having a goad theme. Still, that first ability seems really tacked on and will lead players to misplay. I like what the card is trying to do, but it needed a bit more restraint.

@whuh-oh - Eternal Pilgrim

Love the art here. This is another take on a pilgrim, our second, and a completely different interpretation. This guy mills you and gains you life, at a minimum one (unless he’s killed in response), then lets you reanimate something, even if it’s just a land. So, first things first, this definitely need to be a rare. It’s such a complex ability, and does a lot of things that shouldn’t happen regularly in limited. The way it snowballs, turning tapped creature into more creatures into bigger creature, or at a bare minimum ramping. I also reeeally wish this were green. I feel likeit’s pretty likely you’ll be reanimating lands most of the time, unless you’re built around these guys. Self mill and life gain are also both green. This is not to say this is out of color, I just think it fits better. I also kind of wish it restricted your reanimation to just cards milled. That would encourage you to really get X up there, instead of just laying back, activating two of these guys in response to each other and getting back the same two two-drops you just blocked with. I want there to be a little more going on here than just slow, repetitive value.

@wolkemesser - The Untouchable

I mean, I don’t want to touch him. A very direct interpretation of the epithet. He can’t be targeted, and if you touch him you die. I like the minion typeline, it’s a rare one, but it really fits the deathtouchiness of this guy. However, that’s about all I like. Deathtouch and trample don’t exist on the same card for a reason. It’s an incredibly niche and awkward interaction that confuses new players. Putting this at uncommon means it’s likely new players are going to have to interact with that. Plus, it having shroud means it will have to be blocked in order to kill it, meaning it will almost certainly come up. I do appreciate that the shroud makes it less likely you’d need to do it with more than two creatures. But trample also doesn’t fit the feel of the card. It doesn’t really make it less touchable. It also isn’t needed for power levels, it’s already strong without it. I think this card is a perfect encapsulation of the epithet, but I wish it wasn’t as unfun to have in play.

-Mod Mr. ShinyObject

#mtg #inventor's fair #commentary #magic the gathering #custom magic card #epithet

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yuichi-ro · 3 years ago

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i love how i woke up at 3 AM, wrote this down in my notes and immediately went back to sleep but-

tr/jjk crossover; if reader learns how to cook/bake so getou has something nice tasting to look forward to, what if getou learns how to play an instrument or reads something for reader so she can relax and only focus on him after a long day??? thanks 3 AM sleep deprived brain, i love it.

getou needs less daddy dom content and more softness istg i will scream otherwise that man is made for twisted love and hurt/comfort i have said it before and i will say it again

also i caved in. i now have an inui/vampire! reader nsfw story planned😩 stupid ass blondes istg. idk if you have seen it or clips of it (god the clips, i recommend em) but there is this newer anime called “The Case Study of Vanitas” and the protag is like… super into his vampire love interest manhandling him and biting him despite him “hating” vampires and that just screams inui i am sorry. he would so be a vampire hunter for the sole purpose of fulfilling his kinks and i am equally unamused and equally here for it tbh

and! new owlhouse/amphibia episodes yesterday! they were both sooo fucking good man. can’t believe amphibia parodied midsommar tho, one of my fav horror movies it legitimately made me wheeze

welp thats all my chaotic brain can offer rn. man i should sleep more

take this hanma art whose artist i didnt see instead

-🌌momo

the way i just vividly imagined you snapping awake like squidward having a crisis, jotting all this down, then passing back out in a sea of pillows like you were possessed by the spirit of a literal ghost writer 😂

ok but reader who learns to cook with really strong flavors or unconventional dishes purely in search of something to mask the taste of curses?? Only having what Getou (poorly) explains eating them taste like. So you studious look into every flavor group there is. Switching them up often, sour to sweet to savory to salty and so on, so Getou's tastebubs never get use to it. In an attempt give him something to think about instead of the lingering taste of nasty curses. Leading to making him cute little bento boxes for lunch, elaborate baked goods and dishes that are ever testing your cooking know how but in a good way. Getou almost ending up pavlov'ed to expect your treats after a mission. Just shaving away the little bit of wretchedness his technique comes with. I'm sorry cooking/baking is my love language and Getou deserves it all 🥺🥺🥺

stupid blond libras not like I've been staring at Rindou or anything I hate blond libras so much I hate em

I've never heard of the show but tbh you know what that seems like canon Inui at this point. He's like those god awful clips of ghost hunters antagonizing ghosts on tape but he's trying to find a vampire basically to fuck. Vampire lady? Vampire dude? Doesn't matter if they suck his blood Inui is ready to do it for anything. This. This is the crap Koko is talking about. We were all scornful towards him for being homophobic. Nope, Koko just got tired of being the camera man to Inui's bullshit as he went to a cemetery at 3 am like "It's me, ya boi Seishu, and my neck is looking mighty tasty if there's any vampires out here." This, this is the reason Koko keeps telling him to leave him alone I know it 😐

THAT'S WHY THOSE STUPID GOWNS AND SHIT LOOKED FAMILIAR I KNEW IT WAS A HORROR MOVIE BUT I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHICH ONE (bc i am a weenie and do not like scary movies) ok but real talk? The way I almost snapped my neck and spit my coffee out when young King Andreas started talking and I realized it was Zeno Robinson. And he was using his Hanma voice 🥺 So great now I have to root for Andreas to not really be a bad guy and hope that he does the right thing in the end. Thanks a lot Zeno Robinson 🙄

Owl House though? I was surprised to see Rain (probably) working with Darius. Like I got him in a different light sure when he was tolerating/being kinda nice to Hunter in last weeks episode. But I 100% didn't see him possibly being a good guy honestly. Terra on the other hand every time I see her I hate her more. And if Eda and Rain don't reunite and kiss at the end of this bullshit I'm gonna flip my very gay table 😶

that's actually one of my favorite Hanma artist ♡ I found all their art via pinterest and I just really adore how they draw his face and his stature and all of it ♡ asdfghjkl idc if I'm having a rindou brain rot air. Hanma is my ride or die and I will move several different countries for this man 😤

#takes one picture of hanma #and im back on my shit #i love him im guilty i love that man and i would skip countries for him #yall can be mean about him being stinky and gross from being homeless but #still love him #will tenderly wash his hair and give him my soaps and my towel and wash his clothes for him #dont care if he's stinky he's my stinky and i love him #even if he smells like unwashed hair #asdfghjkl the way i vibrated when king anderas was zeno though #disgusting a thousand years jail for me #🌌.♡#three.talks

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years ago

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Survey #384

“watch your tongue or have it cut from your head”

Do you post to say happy birthday on other people’s walls? Sometimes. Depends on my mood and the person. When was the last time you saw a rainbow? Idr. What’s your favorite television commercial? I don't watch TV enough at all to have one. And who has a favorite commercial, anyway? Do you trip a lot? I don't really trip a lot, but kinda fumble over my footing and stray a bit. I'm horrible at walking straight, and it's gotten worse as my legs have. How old is your television? The one in the living room is god knows how old. My parents were still together when they bought it. When did you last talk on the phone with someone? A couple days ago for my appointment with my psychiatrist. Are you currently sleepy? I'm quite convinced I'm permanently tired. Are you hot or cold natured? I am ALWAYS fucking hot, ugh. Do you take any advanced classes? I took mostly Honors classes in school. Do you have weak upper body strength? My body is just weak as a whole. What is the worst insult someone can call you? Emotionally weak. Are you good at sketching? If we're talking meerkats, haha. They're the only complex thing that I can freehand no problem without needing a reference, honestly. Ever play Angry Birds? Nah. I thought the movie was cute, though. Have you ever been to the zoo before? Yeah. Has anyone ever been weirdly obsessed with you? No. Are you afraid someone might steal your identity someday? It's not something I actively worry about at all. Like, you don't want my identity, I promise. Do you have any talents that come naturally? Growing up, adults always told me I was a "gifted" artist and writer. Also that I seem to have an unnaturally strong connection with animals. I've always been that person where a pet's owner is like "omg ____ never lets people do that" and whatnot. Have you ever had plastic surgery before? I haven't. It's funny though, how opposed to it I used to be... Like goddamn, I was such a fucking stupid and honestly judgmental teenager, regarding many things. I look back on her and cringe. Like damn dude, if you have a safe surgical procedure to help you enjoy the body you're stuck with the rest of your life, you go for it, boo. Are you afraid of airplane rides? Not really. What’s the best Valentine’s Day gift you’ve gotten? There was this one year where Jason had to go to work on Valentine's Day and I was super bummed, yet he still surprised me with a heart-shaped box of chocolates, roses, and a game I really wanted, Heavy Rain. I thought it was the sweetest. What is something you lose often? My phone. ;-; Do you enter a lot of sweepstakes? I don't enter any. Do you consider yourself physically active? *chuckles nervously* Do you have Netflix? Yeah. Favorite salad dressing? That Olive Garden replica you can buy at the store. Do you enjoy dancing? Once upon a time I did. My body could never handle it now. Have you ever considered writing a novel? Many times. Snow or sand? Snow, by twenty thousand miles. It is VERY hard for me to walk through sand, and I also hate hate hate hate HATE the sensation. Do you like sour candy? Heeeeeell yeah man. Have you gotten any injuries lately? If so, what & how? Nothing notable. Are you a clumsy person? Like you would not fucking believe. Last male you talked to in person? I think my primary physician's nurse. Are you thinking about asking anyone out? No. Pink lemonade or regular lemonade? Pink lemonade, for sure. But I love both. Chocolate or strawberry milk? CHOCOLATE. Strawberry milk is disgusting. Have you ever won a contest on the radio?No. Is there a song that reminds you of your best friend? There's quite a few. Has a book ever made you cry? Yes. Do you automatically check your phone when you wake up? Yes, for the time. Do you know anyone who has a pet bunny? Not that I'm aware. What store or website would you most like a gift card for? Rebel's Market. How do you feel about wolves? I adore wolves. Beautiful, majestic creatures with very interesting social dynamics. Name your top 3 favorite musical instruments. Electric guitar, violin, piano. What was the last book(s) you bought at a bookstore? At an actual bookstore, I think it was The Fault In Our Stars, which I never actually read. Do you use Pinterest? Yes. Do you know any sign language? No. Do you have a favorite poem? No. Do you have a dog? No. The one we were pretty much stuck with has a home now. Have you ever read The Little House on the Prairie series? I haven't. Have you ever gone on a service trip to an underprivileged country? No. Have you ever performed in front of more than 100 people? Yes, for dance. When (if ever) was the last time you went to church? Forever ago, I don't even remember the last time. What's a quote you think is really powerful? There's a whole lot. The first one that came to mind was, "An eye for an eye will leave the world blind," which I do believe has great depth in it. Have you ever had to do your laundry at a laundromat? Yes. Are you the oldest person who lives in your household? No. My mom is turning 60 (... I think?) this year. If you have tattoos, how long have you had them? I got my first the day I turned 18. Do you and your dad have similar personalities? We're alike in some ways, imo most notably in that we have NO fucking common sense, embarrassing as that is to admit. We're both kinda slow at understanding things, too. What were the last three things you had to drink? Mountain Lightning, milk, and water. What did your family usually do for Easter when you were a kid? Us three kids all got Easter baskets full of stuff, and we'd go egg-hunting when we were all awake. My little sister Nicole would always wake our parents up in excitement, haha. My parents hid plenty throughout the house, and there was always this one "special" egg that was actually from Mom's childhood and was extremely intricate and beautiful. You basically "won" the hunt if you found it, and it was extremely well-hidden. When you have house guests over, where do they sleep? Historically since living here, my two half-sisters and their spouses (the only people who've stayed over) slept in what is *technically* Mom's room, but for whatever reason this woman still insists on sleeping on the couch in the living room, I guess because she's used to it after all the years she didn't have her own room and bed. Are you emotionally stable? LOLOOLOLOOLLOLOOLOOLOLLOOLOLLLLLLLLLLL Do you still talk to the very first person you had sex with? No. Are you an atheist? No. I don't quite know how to define what I am, but since I believe there's SOME higher power, I don't think it's fitting to call me an atheist. What’s the largest bug you’ve ever found in your house? Hm... I'm unsure. Probably a male mosquito, 'cuz them bitches are big'ins. Would it annoy you if a stranger called you "sweetie?" If it was a man, I'd be creeped out. Are you into fashion design? Not really. What’s the worst thing you’ve gone through in the past year? My leg muscles continuing to degrade, honestly. I have to do something about this shit. How did you get your last bruise? I fell when stepping over the stupid dog gate. Have your parents ever forgotten your birthday? Yikes, no. Would you rather have some bacon or beef jerky? Bacon. Do you like your orange juice with lots or no pulp? NONE. Do you wear skinny jeans? Back when I wore jeans, they were the only kind I wore. What projects are you doing now for school? I'm outta school. What’s the most number of comments you have on a Facebook picture? What is the picture of? I have no idea. Do you like coconut flavored things? No. Have you ever met a famous author before? No. Do you know anybody who has been raped before? No, thank god. I know someone who might've almost been, though. I don't know what the fucking pig was going to do to her if my sister and I weren't there. Have you ever wished for bigger boobs? No. Being overweight, I just want smaller ones now, haha. Have you ever gone a full day without interacting with another person? I've gone many days without it. How many relationships have you been in that lasted less than a year? Four, if you're counting everyone that had the "boyfriend" title. Where were you going the last time you were on a plane? Home from Illinois. Where were you going the last time you were on a train? I've never been on one. Have you ever been significantly more physically fit than you are now? Holy fuck, yes. You would never guess now that I was perfectly healthy in high school especially, yet I still thought I was kinda fat. It hurts so much to look back on. When growing up, did you parents keep the house very tidy? I mean not excessively, but Mom was pretty dedicated to keeping the house in decent condition. With three kids though, of course the house was somewhat messy with toys and all. When you shop at IKEA, do you always stop to eat a snack/meal in the cafeteria? ... There's a fucking cafeteria in a furniture store? o_o I've never been there before. How many watches do you own? None, save for one in my "treasure box" from when I was a kid. I was SO SO SO obsessed with Finding Nemo that I kept my broken one. I did the same with my horribly aged sneakers, like the soles were coming off and Mom finally made me stop wearing them, ha. Are there any ways in which you greatly differ from everyone else in your family? I do fucking nothing and am useless to society. Should teenagers be allowed to have their cell phones with them in class? Yes, because emergencies happen. I personally think it's best to maybe have your cell phone flipped over on the corner of your desk or something and on vibrate, that way the noise isn't too disruptive and the teacher can see you're not just using it for other purposes. Do you have any gay relatives? Yes. Have you ever had to have a pet put down? Sigh, multiple. Have you unfollowed, deleted, or blocked anyone on social media recently? If so, what was the reason? Not recently. How many cups of coffee do you typically drink per day? None. Do you know what your vocal range is? No, but it's not very broad. What’s the biggest financial mistake you’ve ever made? I haven't been in this position before. Have you ever been in a relationship where there was a large difference in maturity levels? No. What’s the longest you’ve ever stayed as a guest at someone’s house? I wanna say over a month while we were technically homeless. How bad was your acne when you were a teenager? Oh dear, it was rough. Like there were people who had it worse than me, but ya girl was lookin preeeetty rough lmao.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''hail to the king'' by avenged sevenfold

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k7l4d4 · 3 years ago

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Midnight Striga: Fairy Tail/Owl House Cross Episode 2, Part 1

Hello all, here comes the first part of the second episode to Midnight Striga, my Fairy Tail/Owl House crossover fic! Everybody Clap Your Hands!!

With a spine-cracking yawn, literally her spine cracked from doing it once, Eda, the Owl Lady of Bonesburough, woke up for another day of living her life of freedom and liberty from Bone-head’s regime. With a tired sigh, idly wondering where she put the Apple Blood, Eda trudged down the stairs. Unusually for her, her mind was exceptionally clear this morning, something that she usually needed at least two to three cups of Apple Blood to fully achieve. In her musings, Eda’s mind turned to her new housemate, and the nearly mind-breaking revelations she had received the day before.

“So, humans can actually use magic, so our whole belief of it coming from the Titan probably has some holes in it, among other things. Heh, wonder how Lily would take all of this?” Eda pondered, for once not shying away from thoughts of her estranged sister. Letting out another yawn, Eda ambled downward, mind languidly scrolling back and forth, trying to figure out what the feeling of differentness was coming from. Just as she was about to give up, something she does gladly if she doesn’t really care about the subject, her nose caught a whiff of something. Honestly, whatever it was, it smelled divine! Inhaling deeply, a surge of alertness rippling through her body, and making a note to ask the kid about that for later, Eda took stock of her surroundings again, finally nailing what had been confusing her.

Her place had been cleaned.

That by itself wasn’t too unusual, despite what some people may believe, Eda is not a slob, and tries to keep things as neat as she alone possibly can, and she regularly used cleaning house as a way to keep herself busy when her boredom was at its worst. But this was different. The walls were scrubbed, her junk (Treasures! She said treasures) had been sorted and organized, which, she admitted, definitely cut back on the amount of space they took up.

Deciding that trudging all the way to the kitchen or living room wouldn’t be able to satisfy her curiosity, Eda called out. “Hey Kid! Did you go through my stuff?”

“Sorry, Miss Eda!! I was a bit too eager to get started, so I kinda, sorta, got everything settled? I hope that’s okay? Is it okay? I hope it’s okay.”

Eda blinked. That… was odd. The kid was rambling, something that definitely seemed at odds with the cool, level-headedness she had displayed prior. Making her way over, she got a look at the girl, her suspicions confirmed. Wide-eyed, with heavy bags, hair an utter mess, clothes mismatched. Luz was a mess; by Eda’s best estimate, she either hadn’t gotten to sleep at all last night, or had gotten up so soon afterwards it made no difference, and had spent the entire time working on the house.

“Kid?” Eda hesitantly broached. “How long have you been up?”

Luz blinked. “All night. I never went to bed, not really. I mean, I tried to sleep, but then my brain started racing, makes sense, whole new world and all, and so much to do, so much to explore, I can finally read my notes and research!! HOW AWESOME IS THAT!! But it was too dark to read, and I didn’t wanna risk waking you up with a light, so I got started on all the junk you’ve got lying around.” She leaned against aforementioned junk, now neatly sorted into manageable stacks, you could actually tell what it was!!

What Luz was leaning against appeared to be a stack of crystals and devices that had crystals stuck into them. Eda had never really thought about selling them, they didn’t have any of the oddness to them that got her other junk snapped up, but the way Luz was staring so intently at them made Eda feel like she lucked out by holding on to them.

Luz shot forward, an absolutely manic grin stretching across her face. “WHEN WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME YOU HAD SO MANY LACRIMAS!?!??!?”

Eda blinked, that feeling of having lucked out screaming through her. She still had no clue what Lacrimas were, but if how Luz was reacting was any indicator, they were something valuable. And she apparently had a LOT of them!!

“I have no clue what you’re talking about.” Yeah, as much as Eda wanted to cash in on this, it was better to head the kid off while she could, get a little info, than use a sleep spell on her before she did something stupid.

Luz blinked, clearly confused, before responding, slapping a hand to her forehead in realization. “Right, you’d have no clue what that is, different world and all that.” Luz rocked back, her tired eyes clearing some of the crazy out, and gaining some much needed clarity of thought. “Lacrima are basically pure magic condensed into a solid, crystal state. They are used in a lot of ways, but they are typically reserved for high-end stuff, not counting the lower-quality, disposable ones.” She glanced around, getting a better feel of what all she did last night. “I honestly have no clue where or how you got so many, or what the average quality of them all is, but it’s a huge find.” She turned her gaze back to a contemplative Eda. “But that’s not what you actually want to talk to me about, is it?” She mused.

Eda snorted, impressed that the girl had managed to gather her thoughts while as addled as she was. “You’re not wrong, kid. I was gonna ask you to handle my potion deliveries, something I use to keep grub on the table in addition to my stand, but from what I can see, you aren’t in any shape to go off into town.” She arched an eyebrow, almost daring Luz to challenge her. Naturally, Luz obliged.

“Hey, you got nothing to worry about!” She boldly declared, gesturing to the concoction she was currently mixing. “I’m brewing up an energy booster to get me through the day. It’s not my area of study, but I’ve had to make these enough times before to get good results.” She turned a grin towards Eda that under normal circumstances probably would’ve been smug, but just looked sleepy at the moment.

Eda chewed her lip, contemplative. “Okay, if this actually works, you can head out today, but you’ll have to take King with you, just to be safe, got it?” Her snappy tone was undercut by the hint of worry and concern within.

“Yes! Wacked out alternate dimension, here I come!!” Luz cheered, just barely avoiding knocking her mixture to the ground. Putting out a hand to steady it, she carefully spooned out her Pick-Me-Up Potion, patent pending, and deposited the potent mixture directly onto her tongue, wincing at the intensely sour flavor. Any further thoughts were cut off as the Potion started to do its job.

Eda watched, a mix of fascination and disgust playing across her face at the sight before her. The contortions and sounds alone were enough to turn even her stomach, but she couldn’t deny that, when the horrific ordeal was over, Luz certainly looked refreshed and energized. Still, if she never saw THAT again, it would be too soon.

“Ah!” Luz sighed, drawing her arms out in a spine pulling stretch. “Man, that always feels GREAT!!! So, when do I head out?” She asked, oblivious to Eda’s prior disgust.

Shaking off her discomfort, Eda pulled off a grin. “Well, kid, as soon as we get King out of that pile of food,” she gestured to the aforementioned Demon gorging himself on the snacks Luz had prepared in her sleep deprived activity. “You and him can head into Bonesburough to get my potions dropped off and give you a better lay of the land.” Eda finished.

With a beaming grin, Luz rushed over to King, yanking the now frantically squirming demon out of the pile of food, and stood stock still in front of Eda, a gaze shining with excitement burning in her eyes. Getting the hint, Eda rolled her eyes and brought out the sack of potions. Still, Eda couldn’t really fight the grin that cracked at the eagerness of her new tenant.

With a smirk, Eda decided to give the girl a little breather to adjust to her new energy before she headed out. “So kid, before you go running off, is there anything in particular you wanna know about the Isles?” Whatever the kid said, it shouldn’t be too much trouble to deal with.

“Why exactly are you a criminal?” Luz asked steadily, having released King to his meal at Eda’s question.

Oh, so it would be a bit of trouble to answer. With a sigh, Eda dragged her hand down her face. “It’s because I never joined a coven.” At the look of blank incomprehension, Eda decided to head the question off. “And I’m guessing you don’t know what those are, right?”

“You are correct.” Luz knew about Guilds, but whatever a Coven was, it wasn’t anything she’d ever heard of before.

Eda smirked at that, she wondered how the kid would react to what she had to say. “Well, here on the Isles, we follow what’s known as the Coven System. I won’t get into the really complex bits, but the overarching rules are these: firstly, joining a Coven means you can only perform magic that goes with the Coven, secondly, while some exceptions have been made in the past, once you join a Coven, you are stuck with that one for the rest of your life, and finally, joining a Coven is mandatory, and if you don’t join a Coven, you’re branded a criminal and a heretic. A heretic like me, for instance.” She sat back, confident the kid wouldn’t condemn her, but nervous as to how she would react as a whole.

You could hear a pin drop in the room. Luz was utterly still, her eyes shadowed by her hair. Nothing gave any hint as to her thoughts, aside from the tight clenching of her fists. “That. Is the biggest load of crap I have ever heard in my life.” Luz was incensed. What she was hearing was what sounded like one of the most self-serving and oppressive systems she had ever heard of. The only thing she could accurately compare it to was the old system used by the Alvarez Empire, which drafted any and all magic users in the country into their army, whether they liked it or not.

“Trust me kid, you don’t know the half of it.” Eda chuckled bitterly. She couldn’t lie, seeing someone else have that same level of anger at the system was cathartic for her. Who knows, maybe the kid could stir things up around this place?

Luz huffed, her excitement for the day ahead lost in the wake of that wonderful news. “Well now, at least I won’t have to worry about making a good impression with the locals.” Her deadpan comment released a raucous roar of laughter from the Witch across from her.

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAA!!! Kid, you have nothing to worry about in that regard. Aside from jackasses like Wrath, people around here are pretty chill for the most part.” Eda replied.

Luz was unconvinced. “Ya sure about that?” She asked, crossing her arms, almost challengingly.

Eda grinned. “Yeah, they are; they might freak out about your appearance for a bit, but after a short while, they’ll just stop caring altogether. Any issues are more likely to crop up from elitists and die-hard conformists like Wrath, or people who actively look down on Humans.” Considering just how big Bonesburough was as a whole, Eda was certain the second was more likely to occur than the first, but even that wouldn’t be too common all around.

Luz snorted. “So, my biggest concerns for the near future are the always fun to deal with local racists. Hooray.” The utterly flat reply sent King snorting from his spot by his meal, with Eda joining him a second later.

King decided now was a good time to pipe up. “Eh, they talk a big game, but anyone who actually gives anything about you being a Human is just blowing smoke, or thinks they're bigger than they are.” While Eda would ordinarily point out the fact that King himself regularly thought he was bigger than he was, she internally conceded that he had a point.

King looked up, pondering everything that had happened yesterday. “Luz, you are crazy strong, even by the usual craziness of Bonesburough. Nothing other than the guards can really threaten you in town, and the guards are only a problem because of their magic, and they aren’t that good at using it as a whole, either.” A great and mighty king of demons he may be, but let none say that King was stupid, nor that he was foolish. “Luz, you shook things up on a level that nobody has done in decades.” He turned to the girl, his eyes gleaming. “Things are gonna start changing now because of it, and I wanna be here for that change. So don’t worry about it, okay?”

Eda grinned, proud of her oldest charge. “I couldn’t have put it better myself.” Before King could start boasting, Eda smooshed his fur, sending him into a tizzy as he tried to fix his “luxurious mane,” and turned back to Luz. “I may not have phrased it all that well earlier, but while things may not be smooth-sailing for you, you’ve got more than enough power to handle nearly anything that comes your way. And if need be, you’ve got the Owl Lady herself in your corner!”

Luz grinned softly at the older Witch, eyes slightly teary. “Thanks Eda, that means a lot.” She croaked out. What could she say, they were both being really sweet! Turning back to King, she found he had settled down, and was waiting patiently, for him anyway, by the door, lightly gesturing both to it, and the sack of potions she would be delivering. Getting the message, Luz scooped the sack back up, gave a quick hug to Eda, much to her surprise, and headed out the door, King eagerly trotting behind her.

Eda sighed. “That kid is gonna get into so much trouble… and I won’t be able to see any of it!” She complained. “Hooty… WHAT ARE YOU DOING DRINKING THAT POTION!?!?”

#the owl house #fairy tail #owl house au #fairy tail au #owl house crossover #fairy tail crossover #luz noceda #eda clawthorne #king the owl house #magic

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theyneedtobangstahp · 4 years ago

Text

Stray kids reaction to their Girlfriend being a youtuber

Genre:Fluff

For Chan, I kinda incorporated my country’s dish because thats one of the things I can cook Hehe. Shout out to my Filipino peeps and my sinigang peeps! I kinda went over board and made them do a video together hehe sorry but I hope you enjoy!

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` C H A N ▪

~W E L C O M E TO Y / N ’ S K I T C H E N~

Would sometimes be too busy to join you in some videos tbh. But when he does have some free time, he will join you. He actually enjoys doing youtube videos with you.

You lay out all the ingredients on the table and turn on the camera. “Hello Everyone! I am y/n back at it again in making my house burn! But, today there is a special guest that will help me not burn my house down. After many days of asking, no scratch that, begging him to join, he finally said yes! So here he is my boyfriend, Chan!” You clap as he comes into the frame with you. “Hi, hello.” He says while waving shyly to the camera.

“I can’t believe it. Bang Chan, being shy all because of a camera? You’re acting like this is your first time being recorded.” You say to him. “That’s different! This is your personal channel. I have to be on my best behavior.” He says while standing up straight looking like a good boy. You chuckle at him and pass him an apron. “What are we cooking today Chan?”

“Well, since my very beautiful girlfriend cooked this for me last week and I liked it very much, she will teach me how to cook sinigang! Did I say it right babe?” He whispers to you. “Hmm, much better than last time. You still have to work on your ng though but it’s fine.” You reassure him. “We will specifically cook shrimp sinigang! Because it is way easier. Now chan what do you think is the first step?” He looks at the recipe and reads it. “Well it says here to boil water.”

“Yes, I will do that and you can chop the tomato and onions please.” 20 minutes later of teaching him how to cook sinigang, it was time to taste it!

“Okay first taste of Chan cooking Sinigang!” You say as you pass him a spoon. You both take a sip of the soup and your face clearly showing that you enjoy it, but Chan wrinkles his face. “It’s way too sour!” He says while looking at the camera. “It’s just right!” You argue back. “Did you add extra tamarind powder while I wasn’t looking?” He asks you. “No..”

You do your outro then start editing, you add the part where you did add extra tamarind powder into the soup when you were editing. You upload it and Chan watches it just as it gets posted on youtube. “You did add extra powder!” You hear Chan scream from the living room.

` M I N H O ▪

~C H A P S T I C K C H A L L E N G E~

"Minho! I’m home!” You shout as you enter your shared apartment, holding this small bag filled with chapstick. You see Minho on the couch watching television, you sit next to him and hold his hand. “Hey my baby, my very handsome, cool, talented, sexy, gentleman of a boyfriend.” He looks at you weirdly. “What do you want y/n?” You scoff at him.

“Can’t I just compliment my handsome boyfriend?” You say while snuggling closer into him. “You can, but whats the catch?” He caught you. “Can you be in my video? Well you can’t really say no-” He cuts you off “No.”

“Come on! You’re the only one I can do this with! I can’t exactly ask other people for this. It’ll be really awkward if I ask other people to do this with me.”

“What video are you shooting?”

“Chapstick challenge.” You say while smirking at him. His eyes get wider when you said that. “You should’ve said that first! I’m always down for kissing you.” He says while grabbing your hand and also the bag, rushing to go into your studio. (your shared room)

“You are purposely getting the flavors wrong Minho! You can’t do that!” You say while trying to stop him pulling your face to kiss you again. “Just one more kiss y/n. I really don’t know.” He says while cheekily smiling at you. “How can you not know, you literally also use this kind.”

“I don’t remember it. Now please kiss me again.” He says while stealing a kiss from your lips.

“Minho!”

` C H A N G B I N ▪

~Q A N D A W I T H M Y B O Y F R I E N D~

Changbin would be down to be in a video with you! Most especially a q and a. He really wants to win this one so he can show how he remembers every single thing about you both.

“Okay first question, where was our first date?” You put your phone down and write your answer. Changbin looks at the ceiling, recalling all the dates you guys have been to. He scribbles something down and looks at the camera. “Done!” He screams. “Okay show it on the count of three. one, two, three!” You both show the whiteboard to the camera and you look at him confused. “We didn’t have our first date at your house? We had it at the movie theatre down the street.” You say as you show your answer to the camera. “No, we had it at my house. We were having our weekly movie nights as friends then I confessed to you when the character was also confessing!” He says. “But it wasn’t a date!” You argue back. “I legit asked you after you said you liked me back if it was a date and you said yes.”

“Oh yeah, I remember now.” You say while recalling the memory. “You see this guys? She doesn’t even know the answer to the first question. I’m basically the winner now.” He says while smiling proudly at the camera.

“There are 19 more questions! I can catch up easily.”

“Sure y/n, sure.”

` H Y U N J I N ▪

~T U R N I N G M Y B O Y F R I E N D I N T O A N E B O Y~

“Hyunjin!” You shout from your room. “Yes?” He shouts from the living room. He hears your feet padding down the stairs and you peek your head in the living room. “Do you mind joining me for my new video?” You ask him. “What do I need to do?”

“You just need to sit and look pretty for me, and also model and outfit for me.” You say while smiling at him.”Sure, when do we start?” “Now.”

You sit him down on the stool and he looks at you confusedly. “Whats with all the make up?” You ignore him and open your camera. You do your intro and he is shocked by what you said. “Hey guys y/n is back at it again with her shenanigans and today I’m going to turn my boyfriend-” You point at him “Into an e-boy.”

“I was not informed. I thought you said I was just going to sit still and look pretty?”

“You are-” You grab your make up kit from the table “trust me, this will be great!” You put his eye make up and kinda ruffle his hair but styling it in a way that looks good. “What are you doing now?” He asks because you didn’t give him a mirror. You wanted him to also be surprised by the outcome. “I’m going to put a fake lip piercing on you, stay still.” You put earrings on him and give him his clothes. “Okay guys this is the finale. The moment we all have been waiting for. Hyunjin come out from the bathroom!” You point your camera at the door and he walks out. Your mouth drops open and he poses for the camera.

“Damn. I don’t think the world is ready for e-boy Hyunjin. Am I even going to upload this?” You say mostly to yourself but Hyunjin laughs at you. “Of course you should babe! I look good. Now come on I need to model too right?” He was enjoying this too much. You guys take pictures and he is so into it. You do your outro and turn off your camera. You look at him and still can’t believe it.

“Damn, just, damn.” Hyunjin just smiles at you and kisses your cheek. “This is all you baby.”

“I should’ve done this a long time ago.”

` J I S U N G ▪

~M Y B O Y F R I E N D D O E S M Y M A K E U P~

Jisung will most definitely want to join you. He just wants to help you all the time with your youtube channel. When you asked him if he could do a video with you and he gets to put make up on your face, he is so down for it.

“Please don’t put too much foundation on my face.” You say as you see him pick up the foundation from your make up kit. You really don’t use it that much, it’s kinda just there. He squeezes the tube and a lot of foundation goes out. His eyes go wide and he looks at you. “Oh, this is too much.” He says not really knowing what to do with the extra foundation. He pats it on your face and gets eyeshadow. “You’re not going to put concealer on me?”

“What do I need to conceal? Your beauty? Oh no thanks I won’t be using that.” He says trying to be romantic. “I legit have acne and acne marks Ji.”

“Well I don’t care. I won’t use that on your face.” He says. “If you already think I’m very beautiful, why do we even need to do this video?” You ask him. He stops putting eyeshadow on you for a second. “You’re right. We need to scrap this video idea of yours!” You laugh at him. “I’m just kidding Ji, continue what you were doing.” A few minutes of him trying to put eyeliner on you, he says this.

“You know that you don’t need to put make up on right? You’re already beautiful in my eyes.”

“I know Ji, and I’m really thankful for that, but you need to finish doing my make up. I need to see how you did.” a few minutes later he was done and he didn’t do that bad. It was good for a beginner. You upload it and instantly get comments of how much Jisung shows his love for you in the video. Especially the part where he told you that you were very beautiful. Your subscribers also fell for him when he said that to you, but you were the lucky girl that he was head over heels with already.

` F E L I X ▪

~D O I N G T I K T O K D A N C E S W I T H M Y B O Y F R I E N D~

Let’s be real. If Felix wasn’t in stray kids, he would definitely have a youtube channel. So when he found out you had one, it was basically also his channel. He also uploaded some stuff on there so when he came up with a video idea, you were down for it.

“Hey guys! It’s Felix here and welcome to my youtube channel!” He says to the camera. You just smile at him and introduce your self next. “And I’m y/n! The previous owner of this youtube channel, and today we are doing something different, Lix can you explain?” You gesture for him and he instantly starts explaining. “So guys, as you know stray kids have tiktok, and one night I kinda went into a hole and learned almost all of the trending dances on there, and guess who doesn’t have a tiktok?” He says while looking at you. “Look, before I get any hate, I watch tiktok videos on youtube okay? So I know some dances on there!” You defend yourself. “Okay boomer. Now I’m going to teach my boomer of a girlfriend some tiktok dances that she doesn’t know. Are you ready baby?” He asks while looking at you.

“I can’t believe my boyfriend just called me a boomer just because I don’t have tiktok.” You say while looking at him in disbelief. “I’ll take that as a yes. Let’s start!”

The video was full of laughter as Felix was teaching you the dances, also him being amazed by you learning most of them just by watching it only once. “Close your moth Lix, you’ll catch flies.” You say while smirking at him. He looks at the camera and points at you. “I retract my earlier statement, my girlfriend is not a boomer.”

` S E U N G M I N ▪

~I N T R O D U C I N G M Y B O Y F R I E N D~

Your relationship was finally public and this gained attention on your youtube channel. Mostly comments on having him on some of your videos and some hate comments but this ain’t about them. They wanted to get to know Seungmin more as your boyfriend, not as idol Seungmin. He was kind of against it at first but seeing you interacting with your fans, he kinda had a change of heart.

“I’ll do it.” He suddenly says in the middle of a movie. “Do what?” You ask not knowing the context of what he was saying. “The video. It’s been a while so I think we’re in the clear. Also, I want to know your fans.” He says. “You don’t need to do it if you feel pressured Seung. I completely understand that it may not be the wisest decision while in the middle of your career. You don’t need to feel pressured to do the video, okay?”

“I know, but I’m tired of always thinking about what other people have to say about our relationship. It’s our relationship, not theirs. I shouldn’t have to care about what they think, and I know that now. So just tell me whenever you want to do the video, okay?” He reassures you and days later you guys are recording it.

“Hello everyone y/n here! This video is kind of different from the past ones because I have a special guest today. Please welcome my boyfriend, Seungmin!” He comes into frame and sits beside you, holding your hands out of habit and just because it gives him comfort.”So I know all, if not almost all of you know him. He is from Stray kids, they just had a comeback so you guys should definitely stream and buy the album okay! Give my boys some love!” You turn to him and gesture for him to talk. “Oh, uhm, hi I’m Seungmin. Uhm, what else do I say?” He asks while looking at you. You pinch his cheeks because he just looked so cute and looked at the camera.

“As you can see by the title of the video we will basically be asking him some questions so you guys get to know him more. Maybe some other stuff aside from what we already know?” You ask for his permission and he nods.

“Okay, now that we got the go signal, let’s start!”

` J E O N G I N ▪

~W H I S P E R C H A L L E N G E~

He would be really shy when you first asked him to be in one of your videos. He was scared that your fans would not like him. You assured him that was not going to happen because he was a very lovable human being and he deserves all the love in the world :< After many attempts he finally said yes and to make his very first youtube video with you fun and memorable, you decided to do a challenge with him.

“Hi guys this is the first time my boyfriend will be joining me in one of my videos, so what better way to welcome him than to do a challenge? More specifically, the whisper challenge!” You look at him and he continues what you were saying. “So uhm, we both wrote down random things we like on a piece of paper. The other one doesn’t know what it says, obviously, and they have to guess while having music on full volume.” He says while smiling cutely at the camera. “Okay! Let’s begin. Put on your headphones Innie.” He puts them on and you both start.

“Penguin.” You say to him calmly. “Ben ten?”

“Peng-” “Ben” You shake your head at him “P-Peng” “PENG?” You nod and continue. “Uin.” “What? Win? Oh! PENGUIN!” He screams at you. You guys switch and it’s his turn.

“y/n” He says while blushing.

“Did you just say my name?” You asked confusion all over your face. “ Why would you write that?”

“You told me to write stuff we like, I like you. Well, I love you, but you get the point.” He scratches his neck and accidentally shows the camera how red his ears are. “I am definitely not going to edit this out.” You say while chuckling at how cute your boyfriend is.

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