#'oh he's such a wonderful nice person he would never do such a thing' *gag*

[finsterhund]

the more time passes and the more I grow and mature as a young man the more I can actually articulate exactly why an internet celebrity targeting an indie game by "think of the children-ing" about comical violence on the level of the average looney tunes cartoon, subtle - likely unintentional- reinforcement of normalized ableism in society, and devolving into a tangent about how irreplaceable the nuclear family is (because the main character is implied to have a single mother) was so shitty. Then to go on and claim the game's fans were attacking him for pointing out that everything he said was a reflection of his own issues, even though his fans were the ones engaging in harassment.

[38riku]

𝐁𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐕𝐎𝐈𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒 𝐏𝐓.𝟐 ˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🎂 ꒱ ˎˊ˗

includes ace and deuce (i was gonna add more but i hate it when i have a lot of drafts) this is part two. you can read part one here

warnings // none.

𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐎𝐋𝐀

Hey, Prefect, guess what day it is. I'll have you know it isn't an unbirthday—it's MY birthday! Which means I'm the star of the day. Wonder what kinda fun things are in store.

to his surprise the two of you had a similar idea of fun. in hindsight it isn't that much of a shock. you guys are together 24/7! as a group, not one on one like now.

there's really nothing different about it.

sure, it's nice having your undivided attention without a pesky feline hogging it. plus he can actually hear your laugh when he jokes. was it always like that? a funky yet endearing sound? probably.

he's starting to notice things that he should've a long time ago and it makes him feel weird.

you're thoughtful, to the point it makes him wanna gag.

"this place better be good. it's my birthday after all so i'm head honcho!" he exclaimed, taking a seat on the opposite side of the booth you shared.

"cater recommended it. i asked him what place in town had the best burgers and viola." you were too busy looking over the menu to see his face, and thank the seven you were, otherwise, you would've notice him gaping like a fish.

"oh! and they serve cherry pie! you think it's as good as — what's wrong with your face?"

jaw on the floor.

he was positive he only mentioned his favorite foods once or twice, yet, you remembered it.

and for a second time, he brushed off the odd feeling bubbling in his chest.

the last time was hard to ignore. you sprung a gift on him last minute before entering campus. it was, ironically, a deck of cards.

"learn a new trick other than a basic sleight." you joked, nudging him slightly. "oh! and don't let riddle see these. all the aces are an ace of hearts." winking, you bid him one more 'happy birthday' before leaving.

they were just a deck of trick cards. it wasn't anything special.

so why was his heart racing?

𝐃𝐄𝐔𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐏𝐀𝐃𝐄

Do you have plans later? Actually, no, I should get straight to the point. We're celebrating my birthday at Heartslabyul today. Would you come to the party?

he did it! he asked you, personally.

it may not seem like a big deal but riddle threatened to off his head if he didn't stop pacing. apparently it's against the rules to have inner turmoil on your birthday.

ace asked him why he was nervous. 'it's the prefect, we hang out all the time!' and yes, why that might be true, deuce had never invited done something like that.

delinquents don't have many friends. let alone birthday parties.

"happy birthday deuce-y!" the nickname ricocheted off the walls as you successfully stole the spotlight. "sorry i'm late but riddle said i had to be properly dressed or whatever."

your rant went in one ear and out the other.

he's never seen you dressed up and wow, you cleaned up nicely.

was it shock? freezing up, cheeks flush, trouble speaking, sweaty palms — his symptoms all align with shock. that has to be it.

"thanks for still showing up." he spoke after regaining basic functions. it didn't last long because you hugged him. arms around torso, face to face, lasting more than three seconds hug.

friends hug all the time. he's shared a similar embrace with ace, albeit riddle forced them to, but this is was not like that.

"course I showed up! fancy clothes wasn't gonna stop me from celebrating one of my best friends." your smile reach ear to ear and he struggled to remember if it was always that bright and pretty.

"we both know you're more tenacious than that."

deuce now understands why he was nervous.

© 2024 — 38riku. Do not copy or repost or plagiarize my work. All Rights Reserved.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s2 episode 9 thoughts

whew! i had a busy day so it's nice to unwind with some scully and mulder time. although by the end of the episode i didn't feel very unwound tbh. it was still time spent with the babygirls, so i can't complain.

so we start with some volcano research. my only note here was "i know a geologist" which is true! shoutout to my one professor. you were chill but i hated that class.

there's a dead guy in the volcano which tbh doesn't seem too surprising... i mean volcanoes are very deadly. but it seems to be one of the dudes involved with the project so that's weird because why would he go down there?

there's this stream going on of the inside volcano and something is disrupting it... hate to see a streamer interrupted :(

then we had the title sequence but for some reason i was wondering, do you think if they got married they'd hyphenate their names... scully-mulder... mulder-scully... does it roll off the tongue? hmm...

so firewalker (the title of our episode) is a robot that goes into the volcano. noted.

here i wrote "holy fuck scully is beautiful". all she was doing was standing there but man.

the scientist who has come to them requesting help is like, this lead scientist named trepkos started this project, and scully says "i always heard he was brilliant", which raises the question: why is scully keeping up with volcano science? nerd

at this point the visiting scientist was explaining how he and trepkos had a professional breakup kinda thing and i'm very sorry for them but i genuinely could not take my eyes off of scully. hope they work it out or whatever. i have bigger priorities.

she wants to get out there and investigate but mulder says "i don't think it's a good idea for you to go" AUGHHH. i am wailing and tearing my shirt. she says that she's fine!!! really!!!

and he has this look on his face that says "i cannot tell this woman what to do, even after she just woke up from a coma, and i never will be able to" and he's very right in that regard

HELICOPTER TIME! mulder is such a gentleman helping her climb out

she has very messy hair at this point and the scientist seems a lot more concerned about his equipment than the fate of the people trapped inside the compound and she seems so thrown off by this

next we have some BIG ASS FLASHLIGHTS!!!! WOOHOO

at this point i made a note that i think i might have been going feral because mulder also looked SO good prowling around that creepy base. and i don't take back my observation but i will psychoanalyze it a bit later. reluctantly.

a creepy dude is hanging around the corner. OH SHOOT he tries to bash mulder's head in and he is MAD "do you always greet people this way?" LMAOOO he took it personally

the other scientists in the base seem to regard the missing trepkos as a threat... hmm...

i really like this jesse character, who is a student and is here to do some research with her advisor

mulder asks for the data on the research trepkos has been doing and she says he destroyed his field journals and computer discs. ahh, computer discs. my old friends. i used to have some games on discs when i was a kid. positive memories.

mulder sees scribbled in some of the notes trepkos didn't destroy that he had written about a "new life form" which honestly kinda happens a lot. like people are always discovering new life forms but the gag is they're beetles. everyday we find new species of beetle. they just won't stop coming. so i'm thinking, well they wanted this to be all dramatic, but statistically it's probably just a volcano beetle this guy found.

mulder and scully have an exchange and again i'm distracted by her freckles but she says he's being paranoid and i'm like. yeah that's kinda his whole deal. mulder being paranoid is like a fork spotted in the kitchen.

so the other scientist who was checking on his equipment was, at this point, killed by trepkos. with a rope. and we get the great closed captions "(neck cracks) (body thuds on ground)" which were very descriptive of the whole process

mulder and scully are having a science based argument on the probability of a silicon-based life form and it was really funny to me because it was a nerd off. and frankly i wouldn't go into a science debate with a doctor but mulder is going full steam ahead. it's getting heated and i'm like damn does this ever lead to them kissing because i can see it happening. anyway she's like no trepkos did not discover a silicon-based life form (spoiler alert: he did)

he's looking around like damn. i'm glad she's back but she's such a pain in my ass <3

scully goes to talk to jesse by knocking on her door and asking to chat and then not waiting for an answer and coming in because that is my girl!!!

jesse says trepkos stopped taking his pills that treat his bipolar disorder and he started being weird, saying they polluted his mind and that she was "polluting his body" which has... implications i prefer not to think about?

(why must we make erotic the bond between a student and their thesis advisor? there is no stronger connection! but. not in this way, tv writers, not in this way. i mean Maybe it wasn't meant that way but it seemed like it was)

mulder is streaming the descent into madness of trepkos because he recorded his ramblings which is probably what my friends on my private story think each time i post. but he's going on about finding a silicon-based life form.

this whole time one of the scientists has been very noticeably coughing and losing his voice and i knew it was gonna go somewhere but all of a sudden he collapses. and mulder yells for scully who is undergoing her shift to Doctor Mode. but we see his neck... pulsate? is that the best word to describe it? augh i don't want to even think about it so we'll leave it there

(jesse was also looking super suspicious but i liked her...)

anyway they put the sick guy on a stretcher and he's down and out until he isn't, and now he's making a RUN for it. he runs and runs and falls in a ditch until a THING takes over his body and explodes. i thought it was a worm at first and it was sososo gross i started sweating. i do not like body horror. the things i endure for these two.

so scully's doing some testing and she's like, yeah this is a silicon-based fungus. and poor jesse is having a nervous breakdown because she has been in this base for 8 months and she just wants to go HOME but now they have to quarantine and i felt so bad for her.

then i remembered the line about her "polluting his body" and things were adding up... and they were NOT looking good for her... no... i cannot do this...

scully's really worried about jesse which is justified because this poor girl is freaking out. but mulder is really worried about scully! he wants to go look for trepkos and he's making excuses why she shouldn't come and finally settles on the need to autopsy the body which he seems to both genuinely believe and also say to keep her back at the base

she knows he's being protective so she says "i'm here and i'm not going anywhere" which is sweet but girl you were in a coma. they had your gravestone made. you are lucky he has not put you in bubblewrap entirely. you can't blame the man for needing you to be safe!!!!

he says he's counting on her and grabs her shoulder with some heavily lingering eye contact that, when i see in gif form, i will surely slam the reblog button upon because. good lord.

jesse is talking to the other guy and he says something like "do what we said" and i'm thinking oh man, they're gonna try to get mulder (spoiler alert: they did not quite do that)

the guy is like "you need a guide to go get trepkos" and i'm even MORE suspicious but his reasoning kind of does make sense- it is a volcano maze, after all- still, when mulder goes with him i was tense

BUT THEN he immediately gets shot with a FLARE GUN? which i did NOT see coming. and trepkos emerges from the back of the volcano caves all burned and wild-looking.

he's covering the newly dead body with gasoline and mulder's asking why he's trying to kill him twice when we see the parasite wriggle in his neck (GAG) so then he shoots him with ANOTHER flare to burn up the evil creature. and he's explaining how if you're exposed to the parasite's spores you're gonna be sick...

and scully is back at the base with jesse... who was exposed... so she's not going to be safe...

and we see jesse in her room gagging and convulsing... oh man... it's not looking good....

trepkos is not letting mulder leave, but mulder does not give a fuck LMAO he says "you're gonna have to shoot me then" and goes to walk out... this man was really thinking "they are NOT gonna take scully from me again" and i know that is exactly right!!!!!

NOOOO the lights go off in the compound........... NOOOOO JESSE ATTACK.....

she's handcuffing her and scully together!!!!!! but scully was smart enough to get her behind a door really fast before jesse collapses and the fungus explodes...... but the handcuffs... was the door open a crack?? was it enough to get her infected???!?!?

mulder BURSTS in to see her handcuffed and she keeps repeating "i'm okay, i'm okay" but he must be so shocked because he asks "you alright?" and gently cups her face and at this point i wanted to do some powerful screaming to let out the things i was feeling

we see trepkos come in and look at jesse's body and he says that he told her how this experience would change her life... and i'm getting callbacks to when mulder told scully it would be a nice trip to the forest, but then the whole evil bugs thing happened in s1 ep20... and i am filled with a deep sadness...

so the duo has been sentenced to a month long quarantine, which i'm sure had to absolutely drive them wild. but i think my mutual wrote a fic on this subject so i just simply have no choice but to go read it now! and i assume that, since there are more seasons, the spores did not actually infect them

(and mulder, who was earlier suggesting time off for scully, must be some mix of terrified that any day now the symptoms will start showing and the end will be near, deeply satisfied that she has been forced into getting rest and healing like he wished, and regretting his words that she should take a break, because here she is taking a break. with him. and they're driving each other crazy)

we see trepkos hiking back into the volcano maze with jesse's body and it was actually really sad :(

overall a good episode, another one in the vein of s1 eps 8 and 20 where there is some sort of contagion and we must figure out from where it started and to whom it has gone... but the formula in these episodes keeps me on the edge of my seat and allows for a convergence of doctor scully and protective mulder, two things i am deeply invested in seeing. and seeing mulder try and keep her away from the case after her whole incident made me emo as hell!!!! he is never going to let her out of his sight again unless he has to go keep her safe by finding the wild man in the volcano!!!!!! and even that backfired!!!! ugh my heart!!!!! i love them so deeply!!!

rip my girl jesse i thought u were rad in the brief time we knew each other

[hannahssimblr]

Epilogue (Final Part)

It’s hours later and we’re still talking. The DJ arrives around ten and cracks the speakers up to ear-ringing heights so we exit to the lobby and stand by the window as the snow falls and the lights from the ten foot Christmas tree twinkle on the glass. 

“No, no, stop, I can’t take it anymore,” He shrieks in agony as he grabs my arm, “He said that when he was inside you?”

“Yes! I didn’t know what to say back, like, um, thanks pal?”

“‘You’re so Alpha’” He repeats, deadpan, but his shoulders betray him when they start wobbling again, “‘and I’m just a little-”

“Beta boy, yes. Oh Evie, you intimidate me so much, I’ve always wanted to fuck a girl who scared me.”

“I’m going to die because of this story,” He cries, “I refuse to believe that men like this exist, it’s just too much.”

“There was this other lad too,” I begin, “Not as bad, but he got a nosebleed halfway through and it was dripping all over my face for like fifteen minutes before either of us noticed.”

“No!”

“Yeah, God, I feel bad, I think he was on some blood thinning medication or something but like…” We fall about laughing again, laughing and laughing until I think I’ll start gagging. I remember thinking during that experience that there was only one other person in the world who would find it as hilarious as I did, and as we splutter and cackle now at my retelling I remember how it used to be like this all of the time with us. I think about the time we lost through staying out of touch as he wipes his eyes and stumbles to the side a little bit, from laughing or from drinking a little too much, I’m not sure.

“Women are not like that,” he says, “I’m sorry for you, but they’re not, even the crazy LA ones don’t put me in situations like that.” He steadies himself a little by bracing his arm on the wall, so close that I could count his eyelashes if I wanted to. “I just don’t get it, do you think they get nervous?”

“Nervous around me? I doubt it. Sure what’s there to be nervous of?”

“It’s a lot of pressure, you know, making love to a beautiful woman for the first time. There’s a lot on the line, the chances of humiliation are high, maybe, I don’t know, maybe that guy just blurted the first weird thing that came into his head-” He breaks off because a high pitched laugh has exploded out of him again, “But it’s a flex to say that you’re so hot that you give men nosebleeds.”

“Oh come on, you’re exaggerating.”

“No, for real. Don’t you remember how nervous you made me when we were young? I turned into a total idiot around you.”

“Hardly.”

“It’s true. You were like this stunning princess and I was just some guy.”

I scoff, “Some guy?”

“Yeah, and it’s nice to see that some things never change because you’re still so beautiful and I’m still just a random man off the street.”

“Hmm, c’mon, you’re just schmoozing me,” I say, “Is this the way you all sweet-talk each other in Los Angeles? That’s not going to work. Irish girls are too humble to accept that.”

“Have I made you self-conscious?”

“No, I’m just wondering if you’re actually trying to flirt with me now or if you’re just trying to make me feel better about the fact that I’m thirty and my body is slowly ageing and rotting away.”

“Don’t say that, you look better than ever.”

I narrow my eyes, “I’m so curious about your game.”

“What do you mean?”

“Yeah, how you approach women, how you flirt with them now. What’s your technique? Is it intense flattery?”

He scoffs, “Oh, no, come on, I don’t have a technique, I don’t think about it like that.”

“No?”

“What do you think I am? Some kind of weirdo pick-up artist? No. I… I improvise, it depends on so much, like, where I am, who she is, what I feel like I’m hoping to get from the situation…”

“Okay okay, right. Well what if you were at an event with friends. Say, a wedding…”

He smirks at me.

“…and you see a woman standing on her own by the bar, and you know, she’s pretty mysterious in quite a sexy way, and you’re looking at her and thinking, hmm, yeah, maybe I’d like a piece of that-”

“You think that’s my inner monologue?” He interrupts, “That I think like that?”

“No, shh- shut up for a second, in this scenario you do. And you’re going to go over and talk to her, and you see the perfect opportunity to do it, and the lights from the dancefloor are shining in her hair, and oh, she looks so lonely over there, someone should go and keep her company…’

“I’d say hi, you’re very pretty, can I kiss you please?”

“Really?”

“Yeah t-”

He doesn’t finish because I have grabbed him by the lapels and pressed my lips against his. Maybe it’s for the joke, or because I’m slightly drunk, or maybe it’s to see if it still feels the way that it used to, I don’t know. I don’t really think about it, it’s just happening. 

“Oh look, it worked!” I say as we pull away, and I don’t really have a chance to try and read his face to see what he thinks about it because he takes a step towards me and kisses me again, though differently to how I kissed him, gentler, slower, with my head cradled in his hands, which is inconvenient because he makes my insides start flip flopping around. I draw back laughing, “What are you at?”

“We’re kissing now,” he confirms, then frowns, “I think. Aren’t we kissing? Or is this a hallucination?”

“Jude…”

“Don’t you want us to be kissing?”

“Well it’s not that, it’s-”

“Ah, you think it’s dangerous to be kissing.”

“If you keep saying ‘kissing’ it’s going to lose all meaning.”

“What did we call it when we were teenagers? Shiftin’ right? Will you shift me, Evie?”

“Oh my God,” I hold my hand up to his face, “it is illegal for you to put on an accent and say that. I hate that you can still do that.”

“My Irish voice?” he says in his Irish voice. 

“Please get that away from me!”

“Sorry about that,” he settles back into his American drawl, and I jerk with surprise as I feel the tips of his fingers graze my waist, “Also, I’m sorry that I kissed you, I thought we were, you know, doing that now.”

“It was a joke… And maybe just a little bit so that I could see if it still felt the same as it used to.”

His eyes tour my face, “Did it?”

“Did it for you?”

The corners of his mouth tick up, “I don’t know, it’s been a long time since I’ve kissed you, and honestly I didn’t get a decent sample, mind if I try it again?”

“Aha! I’ve figured out your game,” I declare, “You put on that silly act you’ve always put on, don’t you?”

He hooks his finger into the strap of my dress before it drops off my shoulder, “Hm? What act is that?”

“Your favourite one. ‘Oh, little old me? I’m so innocent, why I’ve never even held hands before, and I certainly haven’t fucked half of Dublin city. I don’t even know what sex is.’”

He gasps with delight and stares right into my face, “You’re still obsessed!” He cries, “and you haven’t stopped wondering about me!”

“About what, exactly?”

“My body count! After all these years it still tortures you. You’re so shallow…”

“Oh please, I couldn’t care less.”

“Evie,” He says mock-scoldingly, really drawing out the syllables, “I can’t believe it. I told you back then that it didn’t matter, that I didn’t have to tell you if I didn’t want to, but you’ve never let it go to this day. Wow. Wow.”

“I don’t even want to know,” I sniff, “It’s meaningless information to me now.”

“Well since you don’t care and it has no power over you anymore, maybe you finally ought to know…” He glances quickly around the empty lobby before his eyes slide back to mine and he whispers, “that you were the seventh.”

“The seventh?”

“Is that a good-surprise or bad-surprise?”

“Well I thought it’d be so many more.”

He shrugs, “No, I mean there was the first girl in the playground, then a girl who worked in the tennis club at the beach, a girl from my maths class at school, Michelle, someone from my university, Astrid, and then you-” He pauses, “Wait, there was another one. You were eighth. Seventh and a half.”

“And a half? Who did you forget? A centaur?”

He shakes his head, “There was an awkward foursome situation in Berlin once. It’s a long story, really stupid. I’ll tell you about it later.”

“Well I’ve never been more curious.”

“I’m a source of a lot of interesting info.”

“Like your current body count?” I tease.

“Oh, now I’m ran-through.”

“Tell me more about your life.”

“We just don’t have the time tonight.”

“What, not now?” I protest, “Not in this perfectly perfect situation when we’re both a little drunk and potentially snowed in for days, when there’s nothing to do but talk to each other?”

“No, see you’ve changed the subject, you’ve got me messed up. I…” He laughs tipsily and sways a little bit closer to me, through accident or otherwise I’m not sure, “…I was thinking about how much I might like to kiss you for a little longer this time, just to see if you still give me that same crazy feeling that I used to get with you, and you distracted me.”

I act like it’s a burden to me and slump back against the wall, “Fine, go ahead.”

“Oh jeez, no need to beg me, you know it’s off putting to be so eager?”

“Please?”

He comes in close and pecks my lips gently and even that makes my knees start to wobble. “No, come on, give me a proper kiss, that’s the only way we’ll know.”

“Still so demanding,” He tilts my chin towards him and angles his mouth over mine while his hands skim up my back and hold my body flush to his.  As he strokes his lips over mine I can’t help but curse inwardly because of course this is happening to me, of course it feels like everything I’ve been searching for in the years between then and now, everything I couldn’t find in other people. These are the kinds of kisses that ruined me for other men for years to follow, and he’s ruining me now. 

He glides his tongue along my lower lip and builds this kiss to the kind of intensity that shouldn’t be displayed in a public lobby, but he doesn’t care so neither do I. He kisses me until I’m soft and formless in his arms, until I forget the years in between then and now, and then he finally slows it, brushing his lips against mine and then gently drawing away and I find myself following his mouth in search of more, “The same?” He murmurs with his forehead against mine, “Or terrible?”

His hand cradles the back of my head as I sigh and bury my face in his shoulder, “What are we going to do, Jude?”

“You’re going to have to try not to be awkward about it because we might be snowed in for several days.” He says, “If you’ve decided I’m crusty and repulsive, you’re going to have to hide it from me to spare my ego. Either that or I’ll camp out in my room out of humiliation and get my sister to bring my meals to me until I can get the earliest flight to LAX.”

I pause, “so you’re sharing with your sister?”

“Yeah we booked late, so a twin room was all they had left. And she snores like hell.”

“Well that’s a pity because I booked months ago, and got a huge room all to myself. A four poster bed and a big gorgeous bath.”

“Are you bringing that up to make me jealous or is that an invitation?”

I scoff, “an invitation to what, exactly?”

“Come up and fuck you in the bath or something, I don’t know. Why would you bring the bath into it?”

“That’d be fairly shameless of me, wouldn’t it, if that’s what I was alluding to.”

“Is that the kind of woman you’ve become? The kind that invites strange men into her bath?”

“God no, I’d never directly ask that, that’d be very slutty.”

He brushes his fingers gently along the side of my neck, which is unfair because he knows how much I like that, and as I feel that touch all the way down to my toes he gives me a sly little smile and draws back to look at me, “I don’t know, you’ve really talked up this bath and you’ve got me curious. Will you show it to me?”

“You’ve always been so cheeky, did you know that? You ask audacious things of people.”

“Me? Never. That’s just not me, you must be thinking of somebody else. Of one of your other ex-boyfriends.” He grins and saunters casually toward the stairs, glancing over his shoulder at me as he goes, “I actually just remembered that I spilled something on my suit.”

“Did you.”

“Mm, I’m a total mess, I might be drunker than I look. I think I better go and take it off.”

“Doesn’t suit you anyway. You were always better in shorts.”

He pauses for a moment and regards me with one raised eyebrow, a question, and I don’t care that I’m predictable to him, that he already knows I will push myself away from the wall and catch up to him, “Actually you have the right idea, my dress is uncomfortable. I want to change out of it, only I’m not sure I can manage the zip on my own.”

“Oh, I can help you with that,” he says, “Or at least I can try, you know, but fair warning I haven’t ever undressed a woman before.”

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” I smile, as I wind my fingers through his. 

THE END

Beginning // Prev

[zxphy]

Okayy so you wanted some ideas, right? I saw your incel! Scaramouche post and I was wondering what your thoughts are on a yandere incel! Xiao? It's a popular idea but I really love it and maybe you could write it for Fem! Reader or Gn! Reader if you don't write fem! Readers

☆ No bitches?

Yandere! Incel! Xiao x Fem! Reader

Tws/cws: Xiao, misogyny, women beating, domestic abuse, use of the word "retard", implied noncon, fem aligned reader lmfao, gaslighting, doxxing, rape and murder threats, and non consensual groping. Multiple spelling mistakes are present. Both you and Xiao are 18.

Smut written by a minor, dni if uncomfortable.

Xiao was your best friend since childhood, but as you both got older into adult hood, he started acting different.

A lot more grabby and forceful. He was unable to get a girlfriend or get laid, so he went to reddit and 4chan to vent his frustrstions, there he met lots of people just like him.

He may or may not have asked them "why do women not like me", getting multiple misogynistic replies. Bro was easily manipulated then turned into a self proclaimed "incel" in about a month. He believed everything his new group of friends said.

He always talked about his discord servers and his gross friends to you, saying how they give him the best advice and their misogynistic views about how women should know their place and yada yada.

You started to hang out with him less and less, as Xiao grew incredibly insufferable. Just being near him made you uncomfortable, you were scared of even being in the same room as him.

Even though you hardly talked to him, yiu still interacted online because hey! He's been your best friend since birth you don't have the heart to end the friendship.. :(

The less time you spent with Xiao, the more time you spent with Aether, one of his best friends. Xiao obviously took notice of thst, and his huge crush on you did NOT help.

Xiao considered himself a nice guy, thinking he deserved sex from "females". Complaining that girls only want Chads who just use them for their body and leave, as if incels aren't the same thing but worse.

You wanted to help him you know.. NOT have that mindset, but his stupid 4chan friends kept encouraging his disgusting way of thinking!! :(

At sometime, Xiao eventually confessed his love for you. But honestly, you kind of expected that to happen considering you were the only chick that even looked in his direction, let alone talked to him. You let him down as lightly as you can, trying not to set him off. Cause from what you heard, self proclaimed incels usually never take "no" for an answer and take every rejection personally.

"I'm sorry Xiao, it's not you.. it's me." Oh it's definately him.

"But I'm a nice guy! I'll treat you well and get everything you want. I have a job, I can spoil you!" Ah. That would make sense as to where he gets all the money to blow on hentai from.

"I just don't have any feelings for you besides platonic ones. I'm sorry and I hope this doesn't ruin our friendship." You begin to sweat, praying you didn't set him off.

Xiao looked down to the ground at his feet and sighed. "I understand." You sigh in relief, until Xiao says this,

"Can I at least have a hug?" Oh fuck.

You begin to sweat more and nodded slowly, "S-sure man.." you open your arms out for a hug and Xiao embraces you tightly, good fucking god he smells disgusting. When was the last time he showered?? It should be common knowledge that axe body isn't a substitution for showers. The scents clash in a way that make your nose hairs burn and your toes curl. It took everything out of you to not gag.

But on the other hand, Xiao was in heaven, you smell so good! His face is in your hair and he takes a big whiff and he shudders, obviously enjoying himself. It's been forever since he's been so close to a girl, let alone YOU.

His hands slowly trail down from your back and get lower, eventually he had his hands on your ass and gave it a a light squeeze. You push him away and laugh nervously and wave him good bye, leaving him by yourself.

Days go by and you started getting mysterious phone calls, text messages and messages on your social media from anonymous people. Majority of them being death and rape threats.

Anonymous672

U stupid bitch why did u leave him to go fuck his best friend??

And another,

(777-777-777)

Im gonna rape u then kill u in an alleyway u deserve it stupid whore.

And another,

Anonymous929

I know your address.

And another...

Anonymous476

Get ready to get raped!

And... another.

(555-555-555)

He's gonna put you in your place, whore.

One time you even got a phone call and it qqs just a guy heavily breathing into the phone then threatening to rape you and then bury your body in the woods for "rejecting a perfectly nice guy."

At that point it was kind of obvious as to why you're getting such threats. Either Xiao has been using alt accounts and throwaway numbers or he had doxxed you to his other "nice guy" friends. You were honestly pissed, was he THAT butthurt because you didn't want to have sex with him? He needs to get a fucking life. Xiao used to be an amazing guy, your best friend, but now his stupid "nice guy" phase tore you both apart. You thought the rejection went well, that he'd be normal about it, but then he goes doxxing a girl because she didn't want to have sex with him? What the fuck?

You pulled your phone out of your pocket and started looking for Xiao's number, you hit him a message.

(You)

Xiao. Read 1:44pm.

(You)

XIAO. Read 1:57pm.

(You)

XIAO ANSWER ME, FUCKWAD. Read 2:00pm.

I know what you did. Read 2:00pm.

(Weird Fuck)

??

(You)

Xiao did you fucking doxx me?? Are you retarded? What the fuck is wrong with you, people keep threatening to rape and kill me you fucking ass wipe. Read 2:01pm.

(Weird Fuck)

Im sorry just meet me at my place

(You)

What?? No dawg, I'm not gonna go to your fucking house, I wanna know why you fucking doxxed me, we were literally best friends before you became a fucking misogynist. Why did you doxx me?? Read 2:02pm.

(Weird Fuck)

Come over and ill tell u

(You)

Kys. Read 2:02pm.

You shoved your phone back in your pocket and you huffed. Who does that fucker think he is?? All because you wouldn't date him!!

You being you, you still went to his home to get answers. He didn't deny doxxing you which ulset you even more. His dick probs got hard just by you texting him. (He did :3) You're sick of sll the threats, you just want it to stop. You just want Xiao to stop his bitchless behaviour. Now you're gonna do something about it.

-------------------------------------------------------

You walk up to the lavish home and knocked on the door. Of course Xiao still lives with his dad instead of doing something productive like going to colledge like his twin sister Ganyu. You folded your arms and waited. You assumed that Mr. Zhongli wasn't home because you heard some random porn game from the third story window, Xiao's room.

You knocked again, but this time louder. You heard the game pause, then a door slamming, then rapid footsteps going down stairs. You hesrd a voice from behind the door.

"Are you the delivery guy?" *Xiao.*

"No fuckwad." You replied back. The door slowly swung open, revealing Xiao. He looked a lot more gross than you remember, he looked incredibly dishevled, with messy greasy hair, a random tshirt with very suspcious stains and dandruff on it, baggy gray sweatpants that aldo had a suspcious stain, but this time on the crotch area, and a pair of perscription glasses, the frame kind of similar to yours. But what you really could not get over, was the smell. He smelled like he hasn't showered in months, he smells entirely of spoilt food, semen, body odor and sweat. Disgusting.

"You look and smell like shit." You push past Xiao and walk into the lovely home.

"You came." He mumbled.

Of course you came, you wanted to know why the fuck he'd doxx you. He grossed you out comepletely, he was a digusting good for nothing freak. Xiao was actually a nice guy, he got good grades, was super sweet to everyone and made his father proud.

Xiao avoided eye contact and told you to follow him to his room, so you both could talk. You shook your head, feeling uneasy.

"Mr. Zhongli isn't home, why not talk here?" He ignored your question and walked up the stairs. You followed behind but kept a reasonable distance. Reasonable being several feet.

Xiao opened his bedroom door and you were immedately met with a horrible stench, his room smelled like him but worse. It smelt like semen, piss and shame. His room was covered in hentai posters and anime girl figurines, his clothes thrown all over the floor, and in the corner there was a really expensive looking gaming set up.

He could afford a multi-monitor gaming set up but not deoderant?

What couldn't go unnoticed was the collection of stiff socks gathering in a pile near his bed.

"Xiao what the hell? Your room is a fucking biohazard, feels like I need a gas mask and a hazmat suit just to be in here." You felt sorry for his father, you couldn't imagkne what it feels like having a son just like Xiao.

You walked into the room, being careful of wjere you step, Xiao sits in his gaming chair and then types a message into his Discord chat. He then got back up and cleared a space on his bed, throwing whatever was previously there onto the floor. "You can uh.. sit there."

You shook your head, but then you looked back at Xiao and he looked like he was about to cry. You felt bad so you sat anyway. You're definately burning this skirt when you get home.

You got a proper look around the room, not only seeing the weird posters, but pictures of you.

.

.

.

Creepy...

Xiao sat in his gaming chair and swung side to side, he looked nervous. Sweating as he looked at you.

You finally spoke up breaking the awkward silence. "So Xiao, why did fuck did you doxx me?" Xiao stayed silent and looked away from you. This really set you off. "Don't ignore me you asswipe! I've been getting threats of violent rape, I home you know you committed a cyber crime!"

"Relax, (Name.)" Xiao said still not looking at you. "It's not that serious." You scoffed and felt yourself getting more mad.

"Not that serious? NOT THAT SERIOUS?? Xiao! For the love of fucking christ, people are threatening to kill me! Why would you doxx me?!" You raised your voice at him, and you saw him get more nervous.

"Well.. I-I don't know I just. Me and you were like really close, but then you started fucking Aether.." You huffed, even more angry than before, "God fucking damnit Xiao! I'm trying to not fucking strangle you, but you're making it so hard!" You stood up and continued yelling, "You were so cool until you started acting like this! Kf course women won't like you if you keep thinking that she's gonna hop on your gross cock, Xiao! No one wants your tiny penis, I can assure that!"

You folded your arms and contued, "Sorry you feel so offended because I feel SAFE around Aether! He doesn't talk about how women's only purpose is to have kids and serve her mans or whatever, unlike YOU!"

Xiao fumbled with the draw strings on his sweatpants, "I-I don't know I uh just thought that you'd like me I g-guess.."

You face palmed. "Xiao. You doxxed me because I didn't want to date you? Dude! I explicitly told you that I have zero attraction to you. I only have PLATONIC feelings for you man. We had a good friendship but your gross ways ruined it-"

Xiao interupted you, "I'm a nice guy (Name), I'll treat you right. You're not like other females.."

"Oh my fucking god, Xiao..." you pinched the bridge of your nose. "I cannot believe that you think any girl would want to date YOU! A gross, disgusting people of shit incel like you! You're retarded if you think any girl would want your gross penis inside of her!"

Xiao stood up, "Fuck you (Name)!" You staggered back, surpised of his sudden outburst.

"Females like yourself are the problem. All you do is fuck chads and leave actjal nice sigmas in the dust!"

You blinked before letting out a laugh. "PFFTT!!! Dawg! Fuck this shit for real, and you know what? I'ma go to Aether's place to fuck him! How doed thst make you feel, Xiao? You gonna cry??" You flicked him off before getting up, walking to leave the room.

Suddenly your arm gets grabbed and you're pulled back, thrown onto the floor. Xiao gets on top of you and punches you square in the nose. You let out a loud squeal of pain.

"Xiao what the fu-" Xiao picks you up from under your arms and puts on on his bed, he starts feeling up your body, his hands trailing up yojr skirt, fumbling with the hem of your safety shorts.

You kicked him in the stomach and punched him in his face, Xiao staggered back and held his stomach as his glassed fell off his face, you took the chance and pushed him off you and ran.

Unfortunately for you, you tripped on the wires spewn about his room and you fell, Xiao took this opportunity and turned you around and kicked you until you stopped fighting. As an extra measure, Xiao grabbed your head, lifted it slightly then slammed it back down into the floor. You gripped your head in pain and whined.

"Xiao? What the fuck.." you wince. Xiao once again picks you up, and drops you onto his head, his hands trailing up your skirt. He lifts it slightly and pull down your safety shorts revealing your panties. His obvious erection poking through his sweatpants. Xiao went back to his gaming chair and once again started typing on his discord server, before getting up and locking his bedroom door. Too busy holding onto your head and lightly crying in pain, you had not noticed that he actually did lock the door.

The teen walked back over to you, took your shoes off and peeked off your safety shorts. He got close to you and whispered into your ear, "How does it feel to be put in your place?" He slapped you playfully.

Xiao shoved down his pants, his hard cock springing out. He hasn't shaved in a while, revealing curly black n green pubes covering his pelvic area. The tears that were threatening to fall, have fell, hot tears flowing down your cheeks hoping that Xiao isn't gonna do what you think he's gonna do.

"Xiao please. Don't do this.." You looked up at him in fear. Xiao ignored you and pulled off your panties, revealing your pussy. He threw them into a random direction. He pressed himself against you.

You're struggling to process what the fuck is going on, you're being held down, Xiao's dick is rubbing against you and half your clothes are missing.

Xiao then tore off your tshirt and threw the shreds in another random direction, then took off your bra, groping your chest the second he saw your tits.

"You're so fucking pretty.. and you're all mine." Xiao took his fingers and spread apart your lips, revealing your lovely pink insides. Xiao shoved two of his fingers inside of you just to test and you yelped.

"Fuck yeah, you're tight as balls." Xiao removed his fingers and quickly replaced his fingers with his thick cock.

He then slammed inside of you, putting his hands around your neck.

You're his now.

ANDDD.. DONE! I'M SO GLAD I HAD THE MOTIVATION TO WRITE THIS..

I honestly think I got a little too into it, anyway I hope you guys enjoy! :3

@mistywaves98

[gabriel-xander]

Don't Forget

[Sans x Female!Reader]

22: The Baby of All Time

♪────✿⁠(⁠✧◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕✧⁠)✿⁠────♪

You love Papyrus. There’s something so special about him. Your special little man. Ignore the fact that he’s not, in fact, little because that hardly matters when it counts. Much to your delight, Papyrus had told you the next morning that you two were going to hang out together. He had a few things planned for you and was eager to see your excitement about his hi-jinks and japes.

As a matter of fact, he even escorted you to the beginning of Snowdin where his first puzzle was.

Yeah, it was pretty obvious he mainly just wanted to show off the puzzles. But hey! Killing two birds with one stone, you’re not about to complain!

There was that little hiccup at the bridge since you didn’t miraculously get over your fear of heights just like that. That was fine with him, Papyrus simply picked you up like the Giga Chad he is while covering your eyes. Next thing you knew, you were already on the other side. Papyrus may have forgotten to put you down for 10 minutes, but it was cozy.

Dang, a bitch really needed a cuddle.

Much to your surprise (and slight disappointment and relief), Papyrus wouldn’t make you do the Invisible Electricity Maze. It’s for “bad humans who need to get pranked” and you don’t fall in that category! Aww, how sweet of him! Still, you guys went that far back anyway because he needed you to see everything that contained special memories to him (aka anything that has the slightest Papyrus involvement).

“AND THIS IS ONE OF MY MANY PERFECTED TRAPS!!” Papyrus shows off the cardboard box with the frozen spaghetti, “GRANTED, I’VE NEVER HAD THE CHANCE TO PUT IT TO PROPER USE, BUT WHEN A MEAN HUMAN FALLS DOWN, I’M SURE THEY’LL FALL FOR MY DIABOLICAL SCHEME!”

You’re looking at him with love and admiration as he talks, nodding along eagerly at the right intervals so he knows you’re listening. He’s just so precious, so willing to tell you all about his hi-jinks and gags.

“I mean, shit, this would probably work on me if you didn’t save me the trouble by explaining it,” You grin, “It’s great, Papyrus!”

“NYEH HEH HEH HEH! LUCKILY FOR YOU, YOU’RE A GOOD HUMAN SO YOU NEEDN’T WORRY ABOUT FALLING FOR ANY OF MY PRANKS–ERM, I MEAN MY TRAPS!!”

Papyrus gestures for you to follow him past the trap and to continue onward. Doggo, to your surprise, wasn’t here when you two first passed by his doghouse. You assume he’s either on petrol somewhere else or even at Grillby’s as shown in the game. You didn’t particularly mind it since you’re perfectly happy having quality time with only Papyrus. His appearance, unfortunately, still freaks you out but you’re slowly but surely getting over it. Rather, you’re getting used to it.

There’s something about seeing a walking skeleton that freaks out your brain like: “Hey, skeletons are not supposed to be outside of a body!!”

…You’re sure this will leave no mental side effects.

“SPEAKING OF, I AM WONDERING…” PAPYRUS LOOKED A LITTLE NERVOUS, “WHAT WAS YOUR LIFE LIKE? O-ON THE SURFACE, I MEAN.”

You blink, “Oh. Uh, I mean, it’s not really interesting, I think. Hm… Well, I was going to school to become a doctor, so I spent a lot of my time just doing that.”

“A DOCTOR, HM? I THINK I’VE READ BEFORE THAT HUMANS HAVE DOCTORS FOR ALL KINDS OF THINGS.”

“Yeah, it’s true! There’s gotta be more than 100 types of doctors all over the world. Me personally…” Uh, well, he’s a grown-ass man, he can know what it is you want to do. “I wanted to be a General Surgeon. Like, someone who operates on other people to see what’s wrong from the inside.”

“W… WOW… THAT SOUNDS… REALLY RISKY…”

“Ha-ha, it is! But that’s why I had to go to school for it. Actually, I’ll be in school learning about it for a long time. So when the time comes for me to operate on someone, I’ll be able to save their life instead of hurting them more.” You smile, “But I’m pretty good at medical assessments–on humans, at least.”

“SO, YOU’RE NICE AND YOU’RE A SMART COOKIE! LOOK AT YOU, THE WHOLE PACKAGE!” Papyrus pats you (accidentally) rough on the back, “YOU MUST’VE HAD A LOT OF FRIENDS WITH THAT COOL PERSONALITY OF YOURS, HUH?”

You hiss quietly, “Ooh, if only. I was pretty much a loner. I had one best friend and that’s it.”

“WH-WHAT?! REALLY?!” Papyrus stops you and puts his hands on your shoulders, shaking you lightly, “BUT–BUT YOU’RE SO COOL! HOW COULD YOU NOT BE POPULAR?!”

You just shrugged with a grin, “I dunno. I kept to myself, I never went out of my way to make a lot of friends either. It’s not like they want to get to know me anyway, so why should I force it?”

You don’t want to explain to the poor baby that you were a shit person in your teenage years, and after losing Kōrenki you lost a lot of interest in building bonds with other people for a while. Actually, you’re not sure you want to bring Kōrenki up at all with the tall monster. Not that you don’t trust him with that information, but you don’t want to put him in distress about your sad life.

“But, Elliot, my best friend, he saw me for who I really was. He took the time to get to know me, to see the worst parts of me and still accept me, and…” You smile fondly at his memory, “Even though I didn’t have other friends, that genuine bond with him made up for that, you know? And maybe that makes it all worth it.”

Papyrus looks like he’s genuinely thinking and considering your words. You two walk in comfortable silence for a moment, going past the invisible Electricity Maze since he already said it wasn’t activated for you to do.

Finally, as you reach the “Ball” game, Papyrus speaks up.

“YOU KNOW… SANS TELLS ME ALL THE TIME THAT I’M THE COOLEST, AND ONE DAY EVERYONE IN THE UNDERGROUND WILL REALIZE THAT AND WILL WANT TO BE MY FRIEND. BUT… MAYBE YOU’RE RIGHT. MAYBE I DON’T NEED ALL THE PRAISE AND GLORY FROM OTHER PEOPLE WHO DON’T EVEN KNOW ME. FROM PEOPLE WHO DON’T WANT TO KNOW ME,” The skeleton nods with a wholesome smile, “IN FACT, I HAVE A BEST FRIEND TOO, AND SHE ACCEPTS ME JUST FOR WHO I AM!”

You think he’s talking about Undyne, but you need to ask anyway. “Really? Who is it?”

“UNDYNE, THE CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD!!” He poses heroically, cape flowing in the air despite there being ZERO wind right now, “WHY, I KNOW THAT AT THE END OF THE DAY, SHE THINKS VERY HIGH OF ME! SHE’S THE ONE GIVING ME COOKING LESSONS!!”

Oh, you sweet baby. You’re still not ready to tell him how shit his spaghetti is, so you’re just going to subtly dodge that last part.

“Awe, Undyne sounds great! I remember Sans mentioning that she’s an authoritative figure, so I was pretty curious about her. I also know she won’t be my biggest fan,” You chuckle a bit, “But anyway, how ‘bout you tell me more about you and your bro? I wanna get to know you too, Papyrus.”

“GLADLY, MY GOOD LADY!”

As you’re trying to solve the Ball game by yourself, Papyrus takes this time to tell you about Sans and himself. A little bit of their past, some embarrassing moments between them, and cool lore in general that you would’ve never learned in the game. It’s so great you’re able to learn about them, and not be kept in the dark!

“THOUGH, REALLY… IF YOU WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT SANS, IT’S BEST YOU ASK HIM. YOU TWO GET ALONG VERY WELL, AND I’M SURE HE’D BE WILLING TO SHARE IT WITH YOU.” Papyrus grins, “I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU DRAGGING HIM OUT OF THE HOUSE, TOO.”

“Pfft, then I’ll do it more often,” And that is a promise you’ll be willing to keep for your special little man. “Though, I do have one more question if you don’t mind.”

“WHAT IS IT?”

This is the best chance you’ll have. It’s been a week since that Gaster dream you had, and you spent this whole time thinking of ways you can bring it up to either brother without it seeming suspicious. This might be a little random, but you hope Papyrus will not notice.

“I noticed a lot that there are a lot of monsters that look similar to each other, even if they’re not related. I’m guessing it’s kind of like humans where some of us can look very similar to each other, but are completely unrelated. So, I mean, are there other skeleton monsters like you and Sans?”

Papyrus squints into the distance (somehow), rubbing his chin with his gloved hand. “NYEHH… NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT, THERE IS–ER, WAS SOMEONE. I THINK. HE WAS LIKE A… A DAD? BUT… HM,” He shrugs, seemingly not bothered, “HE’S NOT AROUND ANYMORE. BUT IT’S NOT LIKE I KNEW HIM VERY WELL, SO IT’S ALRIGHT WITH ME.”

Wow, very straight to the point. You pout at the snowball that melted for the 3rd time, causing you to go back to the beginning.

“Do you remember his name? I imagine it’s also a font like you and Sans, right?”

“YEAH, I THINK SO. SOMETHING WITH A ‘G’ OR WHATEVER,” Papyrus remains as your unbothered king because bro fucking rolls his eyes, “SANS PROBABLY REMEMBERS, YOU CAN ASK HIM LATER.”

HE IS LITERALLY OPENING THE DOOR OF OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU!! YOU LOVE THIS MAN!!

“Yeah, sure-”

“-BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT GUY, LET’S TALK MORE ABOUT ME!”

Ohh, that’s why he didn’t care for talking about his peepaw. You respect the hustle. With an eager response, you let Papyrus keep telling you about his battle body and its significance of it.

This is really great, though! You’ll pull Sans aside later to talk about your dream tonight. You just… As much as you hate it, you’re still scared of Sans and what he can do to you if you say or do something he doesn’t like. Or what if he plays dumb and you’re left to deal with this on your own? You’re not sure if you want to talk about it with Papyrus, but if worse comes to worse… Who knows, you might need to.

For now, though, you’ll put this in the back of your mind and focus on Papyrus.

The tall skeleton puts his hands on his hips, “WOW, YOU REALLY SUCK AT THIS GAME!”

“Hey! I’d like to see you try it, buddy!”

“WHA–I UH, YOU KNOW, I REALLY WANT TO SEE YOU DO THIS…!”

“Oh, really!?”

Taglist:

@lemonboy011

@adriixboo

@fluffyart5000

[cuprohastes]

Hey you, space orc!

Sometimes, Dave The Human got mistaken for an actual human, because someone saw the name and mistook her for Dave the Human - an actual Human, currently under the moniker of Phalanges Mitten as part of his deep cover as a female Atrix after accepting a sort-of marriage proposal from a small, actual Atrix.

And then the female Tsin would show up as per request and someone would double take and go 'Oh er'. and they'd call EVA 43, who was known for being an unkillable badass, or Phalanges, who was not known for being an unkillable badass, because he never mentioned the thing with the Thotari assassins or that one time he beat up an entire pirate ship.

This prompted Dave to broach the subject over food in the Cafeteria:

"So... what is a Space Orc?" she asked. Cat fantastic said "Gweep?" and Phalanges and EVA 43 did that thing where they leaned back and swapped significant looks and made 'Mmm, hmmm' faces.

Dave watched Cat Fantastic, Phalanges Little Guy copy the move thoughtfully, and then EVA 43 said. "It's an old joke. Like from before the Wallandernook showed up and got us interstellar."

Dave nodded instead of doing the ear sweep, a carefully learned habit. "Yeah... they got us off planet entirely - Without artificial gravity, we can't do it in person - And of course there's that whole 'oops bombed ourselves into an anti-space doctrine." she said.

Cat Fantastic said 'Graak' and Dave wondered what he meant by 'Nice exposition'.

EVA 43, who's actual name nobody could ever recall for more than a few seconds continued and once again Dave was bemused that the moment she looked away she couldn't picture 43 in any away: not their gender, skin colour... nothing: As though someone had written a character and failed to give them any description at all and for some reason kept up with the gag.

"We have this literary tradition of writing fantasy works - Fiction - With uhhh..."

"Tropes." offered Phalanges.

"Tropes - Yes, OK so one is Orcs. They're barbaric, kind of dumb compared with Humans... but they're a bit bigger, a bit stronger, a bit hardier..."

"So in any physical situation, the Orc is the one who's most likely to survive, discounting any plot necessity." said Phalanges.

"Oh I guess I get it." said Dave. "We've got something similar but it sort of loosely translates as Even Bigger People." - She herself was a Big Female, which was unrelated to size. It just meant that without modern medical intervention she was unlikely to change gender, unlike three quarters of the Tsin population who would swap to maintain gender balance naturally. The connotations were 'The most female type of female', which got adjusted for the benefit of talking to other species.

Cat Fantastic said "Graak." which was true: As a monogendered species who's reproductive roles were defined by body mass out of convenience, and who's actual reproduction was 100% external and more akin to a turtle dumping her eggs and then letting the hatchlings just deal with survival, the Atrix version of a bigger stronger more durable Atrix was literally just the biggest strongest and most durable Atrix that you knew.

And compared to Humans Atrix were fragile: A normal human could walk off injuries that would be incapacitating to an Atrix.

43 famously stepped into hard vacuum with nothing but a surgical gown, after surviving a few hours with life support disabled in a crippled EVA suit, by just being reversibly dead.

They'd done it to save their friend, an Atrix, who had to have a new eye installed, and had life-long scars from mere low pressure exposure that was too low for them to maintain consciousness... a situation that for a human would possibly, if sustained for a while, caused a hickey and dry eyes, maybe a wheeze from inhaling hard.

Phalanges nodded. "So yeah - In comparison to most species, we can survive higher gravity - or no gravity - injuries that would cripple or kill other species with shock - We've got redundant organs, and emergency chemical responses that turn off the limits of our muscles so we can trade massive damage for survival... or not feel pain."

EVA 43 frowned and thought about that, then nodded and ticked off a couple of fingers, "And we can stop breathing for a couple of minutes, consume our own body mass if there's no food, keep moving for longer than almost any other starfaring species...."

Phlanages picked up, "And then pack bond with nearly any organism or object, so instead of getting obliterated by everyone else because we met you guys and reached for a recipe book..."

EVA 43 added "... we can eat a stupid range of food including what a lot of other species consider poisonous chemicals..." to the list.

Phalanges continued cheerfully, "... so you guys were like 'Oh crap, no wait, these dumb monsters are friendly. Maybe they'll pick stuff up and carry it for us.'"

"And do human related stuff." EVA 43 added.

Daver held up both her small hands, the one on her second set of arms. "OK, and it helps you have this really weird flexible language and you're just right in the middle of the audio and visual range almost everyone uses." she added drumming her big claws on the table, which Cat Fantastic mimicked.

"Yeah."

"Squeap." said Dave, making a pity comment in her normal, near ultrasound dialect of Southern Tstktk Tsin. "I do enjoy these weird little culture discussions. But I feel like I'm letting the side down because people keep calling me for space orc stuff."

Phalanges, mouth full of purple breadroll shrugged and gave EVA 43 a look.

43 leaned back and pondered. "OK well... look, it's going to be mostly Atrix calling, right? Humans don't need another human unless it's a specific uh..."

"Phkil" mumbled Phalanges.

"Bingo. And there's just not many Tsin doing work that needs a human. They're mostly in Med or admin where the gravity is safest."

Dave nodded again getting an idea of where this was going.

"So it's Atrix. Therefore..." said 43...

"... you just need to figure out what you can do that they can't." finished Phalanges, "And do it in the most flamboyant way possible."

---

Mothers Pride, looked down at Dave, having requested them to the bowels of the station - An area that really was the bowels as it dealt with the processing and containment of the sanitation system. Which means exactly what you think.

Actually, this was part of Dave's area of expertise, as they were a certified life support specialist like Phalanges. She had the horrifying stains on her jumpsuit to prove it.

"Oh we, er thought you were going to be a human." said Mothers Pride in very formal Tsin.

Two smaller Atrix peered around her, doing complex colour patterns with their faces.

"Well... I am for tax reasons." said Dave. "Is this anything to do with the overheating steriliser?" she asked in her natural colloquial yokel manner.

"How...? Yes, yes, it's in an awkward place and we can't get in because of the heat and the close quarters." Pride said giving Dave a peachy-green look.

"Ah, oh that's no problem. Just let me take a listen... hmmm... OK the circulator pump's not running fast enough..." she said and put her claw tips on the piping, "... yeah feel that, the vibration's about half what you would expect." she said.

The three Atrix simultaneously looked at their tablets where the diagnostics were telling them something similar, at length with less detail.

Then she paused, ears swivelling, making a high clicking sound that made the Atrix twitch minutely flush orange with each ultrasonic burst, and carefully added, "Ah you might want to step back", and rapidly knocked on the pipe as she stepped into the accessway - Too tight for an Atrix. OK for one of the slim wiggly humans, fine for the short and stocky Tsin. There was a startling gurgle and a thrumming vibration: The impellor picking up started pumping the horrible gunk through the system - the increased flow taking the building heat from the pasteurisation unit with it.

Then she shuffled back out with some new trophy stains on her overalls, flicked her ears once and said "Nice working with you, Pride." and ambled back down the corridor.

Mothers Pride and her two interns watched, astounded. They stared at each other, flickering colours on their cheeks and foreheads, amazed.

Dave, who's vision was at the other end of the spectrum to Atrix vision, and who'd been able to see the infrared coming off the machinery as a grainy glow, and who's vocalisations and hearing were good enough to do a little fuzzy ultrasound, had detected the mass choking the pipe (And gotten lucky that strategic knocking had make it move) got all the way around the bend before allowing herself some excited squeaps.

After all, she was a Space Orc now.

[otakween]

Digimon Frontier - Episode 50 (Finale!)

Yay, it's over! (lol). I'm sorry, but this ending didn't do much for me. We barely got to see the real world at all and the epilogue amounted to a boring slide show (aside from Koji reuniting with his birth mom, that was sweet). In the end, these characters just didn't feel as fleshed out as those in previous seasons and the digimon connection was lackluster too (it's hard to see the spirits as separate characters). Oh well, I don't mind watching some bland anime now and then...

Notes:

Seriously, compared to previous seasons, this goodbye was so blah. They just get yeeted back to the human world immediately after the final battle and miss their chance to say goodbye to the digimon. Bokomon gets the longest goodbye monologue, but I never liked him so...yeah. (Remember when Adventure gave us sentimental goodbyes between each human-digimon pairing that were indicative of their distinct, defined personalities? Yeah...I miss that).

The spirits showing up and even striking the final blow was...okay I guess. The "bad guy" spirits were just silent and in the background again. There's just no emotional connection because we haven't seen the main spirits as characters before (aside from silently nodding from the digivice from time to time).

Neemon snapping his own pants was a funny gag. The slapstick between Bokomon and Neemon did grow on me. (Funny how Neemon never served a single purpose...)

The Susanoomon thing was weird. In the previous episode Susanoomon was created by combining all 10 spirits but only Takuya and Koji were "inside" him, but in this episode all the kids go "inside." Either way it's still 10 spirits. They should have just made him be a combo of all the kids from the start! So clunky...

Lucemon Satan Mode gave major Millenniumon vibes in his lil grubby form. I'm not sure if "fall down mode" or "Satan mode" is a dumber name.

Seeing the digicode flow out of Lucemon/the digivices and reform the digital world was nice. (Hopefully the moons came back too lol). I wonder if everyone's going to start from zero as a digiegg?

Lol sure, they just let a bunch of kids barge into an emergency room. Hospital security apparently sucks in Japan! I was a little confused what exactly revived Koichi. Was it Koji's love or something from the digivices? Well, either way it was pretty silly.

I don't know why I didn't even think about the human/digital world time difference. I thought when Takuya returned to the human world in that previous episode that everyone would be worried about him, but they have the nice "no time has passed actually" loop hole.

Now that I think about it, it kind of feels like they all had the same arc. The epilogue was all about the kids having learned how to get along better with others (except maybe Tomoki who learned to "not be weak," but even that had to do with how he treats others!) Instead of just seeing them hang out with their one-dimensional families and classmates, I think I would have just preferred an epilogue of them hanging out in the human world and getting pizza or something. Or maybe they could be supporting Junpei at a magic show! (Maybe what I really need is fanfic lol).

Bring back parents!! The kids' parents in Adventure and Tamers were a big presence and it made them feel more like real, relatable people. Here they're mostly just in the background. Also, maybe if I got to know Koji's dad more I wouldn't think he was such a weirdo for lying to his son! >:/ I wanted to hear his side!!

Digimon Frontier was...my least favorite season so far for sure. It's not like it was a total loss, there were some cool digimon designs and I liked the digivolution sequences. The characters were charming enough, but not super memorable. I think this series' shortcomings really highlight what made previous seasons work better. IDK much about how it was received back in the day, but hopefully they learned from these mistakes. Onto the next! (After a brief gaming interlude).

[imsparky2002]

Barbie as Rapunzel: First Thoughts

The following is my thoughts while watching this for the first time.

Wow, already an upgrade in the shading and lighting judging by this intro alone.

And the CGI looks better too! Nice casual outfit Barbie’s got on.

I assume each special will start out with Barbie reassuring Kelly about something? Hope this doesn’t get stale soon.

Already this special feels like it has an upgraded sense of scale.

Ooh so instead of a tower, it’s a mansion protected by a magic barrier. That’s… actually pretty cool! A nice change from the original, even if the home seems pretty modern looking on the outside.

I find it humorous that the name of one of the coolest Spidermen ever is also the name of a cockney rabbit sidekick.

A sweet and colorful dragon portrayed by Cree Summer? I’m getting flashbacks to Sonic: SATAM.

Peneople looks like if a Dragon Tales character was in an early PS2 game and I like it. She’s so cute!

Remember how I joked about Disney copyright last time? Seems like Rapunzel did the idea of Gothel being an attractive witch first.

Ok this entrance of Gothel riding through the forest is way more metal than Tangled.

Interesting how this Rapunzel calls Gothel “m’lady” instead of “mother”.

Speaking of Disney, Gothel’s design reminds me a lot of Lady Tremaine.

The ferret sounds VERY fruity.

Man Hobie straight up wants Gothel to die. Pretty dark for a Barbie movie.

I find it funny that shenanigans with a tea set caused a secret entrance to be found.

Lol, I can relate to Penelope’s hatred of snakes.

The plot thickens as we see Rapunzel discovering a message from her real parents way earlier than in Tangled.

Heh, the ferret uses it’s tail as a sleeping mask for Gothel.

Once again, a new room discovered via accident.

Wow and she’s already out of the tower and discovered the kingdom. This thing’s going along fast!

Why is seeing the chef in his comically large hat standing in one spot with a goofy smile on his face causing me to mentally cackle like a loon?

Punzie, the cook wasn’t trying to poison you. It’s just a free sample.

I LOVE the “rabbit’s ear as a radio antenna” gag!

Wait, Penelope has a dad?

Looks like both Penelope and Rapunzel have parental issues.

I can relate to Penelope’s fear of heights. It’s ok, honey, we can curl up into a fetal position together.

Hobie: “Does he ever smile?” Penelope: “Not around me”. God my heart just broke into a million pieces at that line. Why does this hurt more than anything Gothel says to Rapunzel?

It’ll never not be odd to see all of these children with the same face.

The Prince looks just like the one from the Nutcracker. I wonder if that’s intentional?

Of course the kings are too stubborn to hash things out. As a result, you get death traps like that pit.

I love the way Otto pronounces “vill-oge”. Hilarious.

Nice showing of both Rapunzel reporting her day to her friends and Otto ratting her out to Gothel at the same time.

Damn, Gothel using her magic to destroy Rapunzel’s paintings of Penelope is cold! Honestly this Gothel seems a lot more menacing and realistic than the Disney version.

I like how this Rapunzel is not only selfless but also has a backbone.

Trippy visuals with Gothel making the house literally grow.

As Hugo was assigned by Gothel to guard the castle, all he could think was “fuck my life”.

Hang on, the little blond boy’s name is Tommy? Wasn’t that the name of the younger brother in Nutcracker?

This boy’s got the “Phantom Menace Anakin” haircut and the personality. Brings back memories of the Prequels. Poor Jake Lloyd…

I like the fact that Stefan and Tommy have the same relationship going on that Barbie and Kelly do IRL

How on earth did the prince find the tower? Isn’t it in the middle of nowhere?

Apparently he “searched everywhere”, but it would probably take ages to go around the entire kingdom. I feel like it’d have been better if maybe one of Rapunzel’s animal friends had been followed by him.

Oh, wait. It was a dream! Ok, that makes more sense. Once again, I should have not underestimated the intelligence of the writers.

Headcanon: (Unless Penelope's mom shows up) Hugo's ex-wife is the dragon from Shrek and they share custody of Penelope. Hugo really hates donkeys now.

Holy crap, this is a beautiful melody Penelope is singing.

The knights remind me of Bert and Ernie. I’ve always loved that dynamic.

The mental paintbrush is a really cool idea. More properties should use it.

Rapunzel straight up saying she’d rather be dead than be a prisoner. Respect.

See, now is Stefan tired and exhausted from actually looking everywhere.

Maybe Rapunzel doesn’t want to know Stefan’s name in case it’s a dream or so that she won’t hurt as much if she loses him.

Once again, we have a prince not telling Barbie’s character he’s royalty.

It saddens me to know that the silversmith is unable to visit or speak to his brother due to the ban on Wilhelm’s kingdom. It’s a realistic worry.

Now we’re getting elements of Cinderella with the masked ball. Once again, connections since Gothel reminds me of Tremaine.

Hobie, I don’t think that Gothel is going to care if you’re in pain. Woman’s a total sadist.

Did Otto just orgasm?

The paintbrush really is OP. It can make clothes!

The mystical music is funny because right now, they’re doing the “girl tries on new clothes” montage.

Eh the final dress is ok, but I actually think the first “simple” one looked the best.

Funny how in Tangled, Rapunzel's hair gets cut by Eugene to stop Gothel. Here, Rapunzel's hair gets cut by Gothel instead.

Gothel, maybe don’t piss off the big strong dragon who has been willingly helping you?

Now we’re finally seeing King Wilhelm. I wish we got some more of him earlier.

Ok, Gothel has to have some sort of spell activated because how the hell did Stefan not think “why does your face look so different?”.

Love to see Penelope call her dad out on his bullshit, and get through to his softer side.

Nice to see her get some love from her dad after all this time.

WOO! Tommy used his bow and arrow to save his big bro! Kid’s got guts.

And now the little children pelt her with fruit!

Really impressive sword choreography for a Barbie movie.

So Gothel just stole Rapunzel from Wilhelm because she hated being in the friend-zone. Ridiculously petty.

And Rapunzel STILL offers forgiveness to Gothel! She truly is an angel.

Honestly, the fact that this Gothel is trapped inside the tower due to her own spell for all eternity is WAY more of a scary way to go then falling out of the tower like Disney’s Gothel did.

What a wonderful ending! Seeing everyone reunited and hearing that wonderful credits score gave me such a smile.

Hopefully a full review will come out sometime this month. I've got other creative AUs to help with. Let me know your thoughts in the comments and reblogs. @msweebyness @artzychic27 @nerd-chocolate

[honestreviewsblog]

Dreaming of a Freaking Fairytale - A Fan's Journey (with spoilers!)

Ep 1-2

OH MY GOD THIS IS HILARIOUS. It's givinggg 2011-2013 Kdramas in the best way possible. Very well casted I might say, I've watched Pyo Yejin before and I've always loved her in every role I've watched her in so I already expected she was gonna nail this one too but it's my first time watching Lee Jun-young and omggg I LOVE him hahahahaha. He's so gorgeous, and the role fits him so well. Their chemistry is off the charts and it was going so well for the past 2 episodes that I was actually wondering, 'Wait, if they both like each other now, what about the rest of the episodes?' then BAM insert obligatory Kdrama fiancé. Which is hella cliché but the drama IS all about clichés so really it's just living up to it's expectations.

There's a thin line between cringe in a good way and cringe in a bad way and so far, this drama is in the good-o-meter lololol. We'll see tho in the next few episodes and dammit I'm excited. I do love my melo dramas and action packed thriller dramas but really I'm just a girl, I also crave cute, hilarious, weird sht every so often.

Ep 3-4

Can I address their names?? Hahahahaha. Cos Prince Cha min is hilarious and you kinda get it from the get go (Prince Charming = Prince Cha min) but Cinderella is a bit too Korean-ized that you don't get it until you've watched 3 episodes lololol (Just a theory this might be a stretch but Koreans put -nim as a suffix for jobs, titles, or relationship to show respect, ex. harabeonim (grandpa but probably not your own grandpa because adding -nim means that you're not that close), gisanim ("gisa"/driver is the root word, adding -nim is a polite way of saying it and mostly used when you speak directly to the person). So my theory is Cinderella 》 Cinder-nim 》 Cinder-im 》 Shin Jae rim.

Anyway back to the episodes, I looove that line about the reason why Jae rim wanted to marry rich because giiiirl I probably won't do it but I totally get it lolololol. Her ambition was revealed tho and it does not look good esp among the rich. It must've felt soo humiliating, and I can feel her pride slowly ebbing away. The ending WAS a total cliché but I loooove it, can't wait for more lol.

Also, can I just say Cha min's business is sooooo fun. It's exactly the type of business that we think about in our daydreams and when asked the question, "What would you do if you have a lot of money". Cos I'm totally going to build myself a playground for adults to have fun in, adults need it more than kids anyway.

Really happy for Jae rim and her painting, she's sooo good, I also wished she continued her passion, but I have high hopes for the next few episodes.

Ep 5-6

OH MY GOD THEY KISSED AAAAAAAAA. And I gotta say it was marvelous hahahhahaha—not the regular cutesy cutesy kissing scenes we normally see in cutesy cutesy Kdramas. Really just from the kissing scene alone I gotta give ep 5 a standing ovation lololol.

I totally expected Jae rim's visit in Do hong's studio to go horribly wrong but it's nice to be wrong for once hahahaha. We got to see his "weakness" and don't we just love to discover those? Makes the characters more human. Dan-a and Jae rim's face off tho 👀 Our girl totally held her ground with the line, "I had fun too. He's a very good kisser" YOOOOOOOOOO Imma tell you the way I gasped?? I was so gagged???

And the scene AFTER that, the way she bursted out her frustrations on Cha min and him not knowing what to do or what to say or how to make things right because in his point of view, he never meant to be cruel, everything he did was just self-preservation.

Ep 7-8

Hello??? I was so invested on that kiss and you're telling me it was a dreamscape?? Call the authorities, straight to JAIL. But on a more serious note, I love how her doubts and her fears of not being enough was easily eliminated by Cha min, and her voice over about being comforted by this was sooo heartwarming, the butterflies in my stomach won't stop churning!!

The ending was emotional but I gotta say, probably bcs we didn't get to have that many teary eye scenes so far, the scene with Cha min's mom just felt a bit I dunno, I didn't cry that's for sure. But I guess we weren't meant to cry, we were meant to feel for him and comfort him.

Ep 9-10

/sigh/ I think I just got diabetes. It was so sweeeet. Have I said Jun young is so gorgeous? Cos he's so gorgeous. I gotta tell you about 90% of the reason why I'm watching it is bcs I just gotta see him smile hahahahahahha. Happy ending all around, really cliché so I can see why some people might not like it. But I loooovee clichés, it calms my anxiety and it's sure to be a happy ending, what's not to love?

The thing about this drama tho, is it's very self-aware and doesn't take itself too seriously and I think that's part of the reason why it's so charming (pun intended). 10/10 cutesy ending I got what I came in for and I'm happy about that, satisfied customer here! Hahahahahaha

[raquellemonsta]

kiss me more (bokuto x reader)

previous || next

chapter 4: meet the team

You spent longer than usual getting ready. You had to find something for both the MSBY practice and for your outing with Bokuto afterwards. Could you call it a date? You don't know and are a little too embarrassed to ask.  Though you had spent nearly an hour texting him, you still didn't know how you felt about him. It was hard to say the relationship between you two, but that wasn't something you were thinking about currently, as you wondered if you would make a good first impression to his team.

You were a little nervous to meet the volleyball team, though how could you not be? They were of monstrous height (most of them anyway), monstrous strength, and just monsters in general (why else name their generation that way?) That was all you could think about on the walk to the gymnasium.

Even from the hallway leading to the gym, you could hear a ball slam on the court, along with shouts and laughs. Deciding to wo-man up, you walked in the gym. Immediately several players noticed your presence and began murmuring to each other. A certain handsome man with bright golden eyes turned in your direction and bounded towards you. He was very energetic and it was hard for you to believe his age.

"HEY HEY HEY (L/n)! Good to see you again!" He pulled you into a strong hug. You jokingly gagged at the layer of sweat he was covered in but hugged him back anyway. Unbeknownst to you the team was giving Bokuto looks; smirks and thumbs up (and other gestures that won't be named). He gave them a look before letting you out of the embrace and smiling at you. He then led you over to his coach and one of the managers for the team, who introduced herself as the woman you had been in correspondence with.

The coach of the team didn't initially pay much attention to you, however the female manager gave you a kind smile before sparking conversation about things you had designed before. You learned her name was Misaki Hana. She was an attractive young woman who was probably a few years older than you, with brown hair and beautiful brown eyes, you felt a little self conscious. The woman was very nice though, and you easily went back and forth with her.

The players were very intrigued by you and even more so by Bokuto's reaction to you. Watching you interact with their manager, they looked between you and Bokuto, whose intent gaze was glued to your face. With this in mind, Atsumu made his way over to you to 'introduce himself' and totally not to push a certain outside hitter's buttons (he would never do such a thing!).

"Welll if it isn't (L/n)! You know, yer much prettier in person" you looked away from MSBY's manager to a tall man with dyed blond hair. You would've been a little annoyed at someone rudely interrupting your conversation had you been in any other setting, but then his compliment really hit you.

"Oh, thank you-" you barely got out before he cut in again.

"I've heard so much about ya. Bokkun is quite the loudmouth and add a pretty girl into the mix an' it's obvious-"

"Who are you?" you interrupted him this time. Of course, you knew who he was already. You recognized him from the bar and from the player roster. He was the starting setter for the Black Jackals and had gone to Inarizaki, a school that your parents were considering sending you to when you were younger. You weren't really expecting his personality to be like this, truthfully. But after looking into each player you had found he had a dedicated fanbase (of mostly women). He looked over at Bokuto, who had an unreadable expression on. His mouth was pursed into a thin line, his brows slightly furrowed, and he was looking directly at the man in front of you. The man turned back to you before grabbing your hand.

"Miya Atsumu, but you can call me whenever you want" he absurdly winked. He made sure to emphasize it and your eyes widened at his obvious flirting. Your heart jumped since you hadn't been expecting to be hit on in a volleyball gym of all places, but maybe you should've known better. Regardless, you simply laughed at him and waved him off.

"Clearly you already know me, but it's nice to meet you, Miya".

"Call me Atsumu, that's what everyone calls me". You weren't really sure about calling this guy by his first name considering you didn't know him very well, but if he insisted then you figured you'd oblige.

"Well then, it's nice to meet you Atsumu" you gave him a small smile and turned back to the manager. Unbeknownst to you, she had been giving Atsumu a death glare the entire time he had been flirting with you, urging him to leave you alone.

Coach Samson, sensing that not much practicing was being done by any of the players anyway, decided to have the manager introduce you to the team officially. The anxious pit that was your stomach made you nauseous and excited all at the same time.

"Everyone, I am happy for you to meet (L/n) (Y/n). She'll be helping us advertise your big game versus the Adlers-" which she could barely get out before there was basically an eruption amongst the men. It was clear that the game would be very personal for some of them, especially the ginger.

When their excitement had died down, several of the team members crowded around you and wildly introduced themselves. It was overwhelming, and you wished that they all composed themselves like the quiet black-haired man standing away from the group. They were all very friendly however, so you started getting to know them personally.

-BOKUTO-

Lately, Bokuto had been thinking about his life and his priorities a lot differently. The main reason for that was the very girl visiting practice today. The topic of love and girls was something familiar and yet confounding to the man.

Women had always been into him, of course. It was something he had been acutely aware of since high school. As one of the top 5 aces in the country, he had plenty of fans and a lot of them were girls. All of Fukurodani's games had large cheering sections of girls he both knew and didn't know. Despite this, he had never been big on dating or investing into his love life. However, he couldn't deny the way he had been feeling ever since that chance meeting in the bar. As much as he might seem like one sometimes, he wasn't an idiot and knew what that feeling was.

There was a genuine attraction to you to a level that he hadn't felt with another woman quite possibly ever. You were beautiful, smart, friendly, and able to put up with him and his somewhat overbearing personality. Over the last few days, he had conjured up fantasies of what his life would be like if you were a guaranteed part of it. He imagined domestic situations, vacations, a wedding, your first apartment together, the house you would buy for mini baby Bokutos. He had snapped out of it at that point, and nearly launched himself into an existential mid-life crisis.

Sure, for now he was in his early 20's, until he turns 25 in September, and then he's basically 30, which would make him middle aged, and beyond the general starting point for getting married or having a family and-

"I was a defensive specialist in high school, so I kind of had to be good at everything" she told Hinata who was looking at her incredulously. Finding out she had been a volleyball player piqued Bokuto's interest even more than he thought was possible. Hinata asked her to practice with them, to which she politely declined as she wasn't really in the mood to show off in the dress/nice outfit she was wearing.

Pretty soon, Coach yelled at the men to get back to practice or they would have extra conditioning.

Getting back to practice, he decided he would show off just for you.

-(Y/N)-

You had a great time getting to know everyone, though you had to admit you did feel sweet relief when Misaki called you back over to sit on the bench with her while the men got back to practice.

You couldn't help but watch the men with awe in between looking at pictures of Misaki's pet cat. They were truly a sight to behold, and you wondered how an actual game would go if this was what they looked like during practice.

The coach laughed at the look on your face, and it was almost like he read your mind.

"You know, since you're helping us to advertise for our big game, how do you feel about a free ticket to come and see it in person?"

Your grin gave away your opinion on the matter immediately. You were even more excited to work with the team and hoped that your skill would be up to par for what they were looking for.

-

Eventually, their practice ended and the men headed to the locker room to shower or get their stuff to go. Bokuto came over to you before heading in and explained he would be showering and to wait for him to be done. You waited on the bench for him as the players emerged one by one, and you waved goodnight to each of them. You sat on your phone waiting for Bokuto to emerge. Mindlessly scrolling through Instagram, you had no idea how much time had passed.

"Ready to go?" you looked up to find the very man you had been waiting for. He was dressed decently in (honestly whatever outfit you want to see him in). You looked him up and down and he laughed. You stood up and nodded before the two of you headed off into the night.

[serenaberngraves]

this or that? tag game

I wasn’t tagged but I’m tagging along with @rownanisntwriting who left the floor open :) You can read their answers here!

historical or futuristic

The fantasy genre has been so dominated by Tolkien that I basically default to historical settings. It requires a lot of googling since I’m not the kind of person that really cares about history, oddly enough. I try to balance being somewhat accurate and hoping the reader is more invested in the events than the setting :’)

I think another part of it is that I don’t feel very confident in my ability to design futuristic technologies; whenever I try, I end up trying to draw my own blueprints and getting lost in the sauce. I find it more comfortable to rely on stuff that has already existed so I can focus on my blorbos

the opening or closing chapter

Oh my GOD how I love beginnings! I get to seduce the reader and oh how I like to play coy.

Closing chapters are wonderful in their own right, but it’s a goodbye. I poured my heart and soul into this piece and I never want it to end. Sometimes I actually cry

light & fluffy or dark & gritty

As much as I try to surround myself with nice, pleasant things, all of my work has to include a heavy dose of grit and strife to get that sweet, sweet payoff of relief.

Yes, I’m that guy who puts their blorbos in situations just for the narrative

animal companion or found family

You really made me choose.

It’s in my DNA to create a cast of characters that complement each other. There’s something so compelling about someone feeling like a black sheep, and then meeting people that show them love in a way they’ve never felt before. And that’s probably an insight about me but we won’t talk about that

horror or romance

Well I’m currently writing a romance…

Both genres can have a similar structure of suspenseful buildup. I just prefer the release of a romance climax hehe to a horror one. I feel that I can be far more self-indulgent, too >:}

hard magic system or soft magic system

There need to be rules

I often feel like soft magic systems are a copout but don’t take personally bc I know they have their place it’s just my silly little opinion

standalone or series

Whenever I start a standalone it always turns into something more whether I like it or not. I’m either too attached to the world or the characters — or both — to let them rest. I have to keep poking around in there…

one project at a time or always juggling 2+

Bruh I have so many. But I’m only actively working on one at a time.

one award winner or one bestseller

Awards don’t mean anything to me.

I’d much rather my work reach a wide audience that enjoys my story <3 also awards can’t buy me a new couch

fantasy or sci-fi

DRAGONS AND WEREWOLVES AND VAMPIRES AND HIPPOGRIFFS AND MAGIC ALL DAY BABYYYYYY

character description or setting description

I’m trying to be better, but describing people has always been tough for me. “He’s tall with blond hair and has the correct amount of limbs. Also he’s wearing clothes.”

Whereas describing a setting I find it much easier to delve right into the mood.

Realistically the two aren’t so different — something in my mind just blanks when I’m trying to tell you what a person look like. I think part of me wants the reader’s imagination to fill in the blanks; your image of the villain based on his demeanour, dialogue, and actions is the most compelling version.

first draft or final draft

Again — I have a hard time with goodbyes!

The first draft is filled with emotion: frustration, enthusiasm, novelty, disappointment, desperation, epiphany! The roller coaster is not an easy one to ride, but dear god it makes me feel alive

love triangle in everything or no romantic arcs

…I love a love triangle, but in everything? No, there are too many ideas and concepts to explore than has nothing to do with romance.

But I mean, it would be funny to insert a love triangle in every work. It would be a running gag. It doesn’t have to be the main characters — make it some tertiary characters. If I had a following, I would go feral waiting for my readers to guess who would be in the triangle this time

constant sandstorm or rainstorm

I think a constant rainstorm would be kind of dreary in a setting but having to think about how crusty a sandstorm is would make my skin itch. I couldn’t possibly endure

We’re at the end! I also don’t have anyone in mind to tag, so if you’re up for it tag me in your responses! :)

[bfd614]

There was a knock on the door one night and “Lucy” my wife answered it. She was all dressed up, in this flowing maxi dress of bright pinks and yellows. The bright colors contrasted with her dark tanned skin. She had a date tonight with “Tom” a really nice guy she had met at the club a few weeks ago. They had been texting each other and had some lunch dates; but tonight was going to be an over night.

She opened the door and “Elizabeth” was standing there, Tom’s wife. They hugged and she came in. “What are you doing here?” I asked. We had met briefly but I didn’t know that Lucy and her were being friendly. I didn’t really know her well. She was an attractive woman, slightly older than us. She had short sandy brown hair and was rather petite and short. Especially standing next to my wife who was rather curvy and about my height.

Elizabeth was wearing a pair of dark blue jeans and a cream top. She had kicked her flip flops off at the door when she came in. She had a rather large bag over her shoulder that she set down with a small thud. She just smiled at me and said, “it’s date night silly” I was confused. I never went out on dates. Lucy had brought woman home with us and of course she did dates with other men like Tom. I didn’t do dates.

Lucy just kissed my cheek and whispered, “have fun and good luck. Tom told me she can be a real freak.” She giggled as she left the house. I stood there awkwardly before i had the thought of what to say, “I’ll go change quick and we can head out someplace. I’m sorry I don’t have anything planned I wasn’t aware that this was happening tonight.”

“That’s ok.” She said as she picked her bag up and pulled a bottle of wine out, “we can stay in and watch a movie and get to know each other a little bit.” I just nodded my head. I opened the wine and poured two glasses, I checked the fridge and didn’t see much so I just ordered some delivery from my phone and soon we had a movie on and sitting together.

“I’m really sorry again, I don’t really do the dating on our end.” I explained sheepishly. “Oh I don’t date much either. Every know and then. Tom is a wonderful husband and lover and I don’t feel the urge to participate the way he does.” I could understand that feeling perfectly. Lucy and I have a great marriage and we have a great sex life.

“I enjoy the joy Lucy has with the lifestyle. The occasional extra person makes things exciting but I’ve grown to appreciate the times between new partners better.” I explained to my dinner date. There seemed to be a level of understanding in her eyes that made me think I had struck a chord with what I had said. Very quickly after that we were cuddling each other and enjoying the time.

Discussions about how we each got started in the lifestyle and about life in general lasted for hours. We had our dinner and played several movies but nothing we paid any attention too. Before I know it, it’s almost midnight. I checked my phone and saw the normal checkin texts I get on date night.

Elizabeth pulled her phone out and saw similar texts and just smiled at her phone and put it away. “ apparently our spouses are having a wonderful time. Tom sent me a video of the two of them. Would you like to see it?” I nodded my head and she pulled her phone back out and played the video.

The video showed Lucy in her dress on her knees blowing Tom and looking at the camera. Sounds of a man’s pleasure could be heard and she moved her lips farther down him and a small gag escaped her. She stood up and her dress dropped around her exposing her naked body. Sounds of kissing could be heard and my wife’s voice saying “your turn.”

The video shook for a second and finally stopped with Lucy lowering herself onto Tom’s face. She was holding the camera showing us the whole view of what was happening. Her eyelids fluttered as Tom started licking her and a wicked smile shown on her face when the video stopped.

“That looks absolutely lovely.” I said completely engorged by the video. Elizabeth smiled and clearly noticed my excitement as she ran a hand over my lap feeling me. I leaned over and kissed her and she kissed me back. She continued to rub me through my jeans and I scooped her up in my arms, a squeak of shock vibrated my lips as we still kissed. she only weighed 100 pounds. I started to cart her to my room when she paused and reached for her bag. I bent over and she grabbed it.

“I need to freshen up.” She breathed, her face flush. I set her down and she went into the bathroom. I thought to set the mood and hastily lit some candles and moved to clear the bed. Hearing the door open I turned around and saw her standing there completely naked. Her pale skin was smooth and once sharp figure was a little softer with age.

She moved with a feline grace that immediately hypnotized me. She stood on her tip toes and place her hands on my face. A gentle kiss of the lips, almost hesitant. “It’s been awhile since I was with someone other than Tom. He’s been dating and I normally just get a hotel when he has an over night.” Her tongue licked over her lips. Nervous energy replacing the confidence of earlier.

“Lucy encouraged me to come here tonight. She said you were a sweet man who would be gentle if I needed you to be gentle.” Another kiss, this one deeper, filled with longing and hunger, “I don’t want gentle.”

I picked her up from the floor and almost threw her onto the bed. She landed with a laugh and covered her face with her hands. I leaned over her kissing her breasts and body. I spread her legs and touched her feeling the heat off her body and her wetness. I got on my knees and started to taste her and tease her. She quickly had her first orgasm. Her body went rigid and she tried to pull away from my face but I kept with her.

Finally she relaxed and was breathing hard. She giggled at herself and propped herself on her elbows. “Why do you still have pants on?” She made the question seem like a demand and gave me the come hither motion with her finger. As I was fighting with a very stubborn belt, she laid back down and started to play with her self.

The view of her spreading everything for me to see drove me wild. Finally my pants hit the floor and I climbed up next to her on the bed. I reached for my bedside table and pulled a box of condoms out looking to put one on. She grabbed the box and flung it and its contents across the room.

“I’m allergic to latex and on birth control. You have nothing to worry about.” She said as she climbed onto of me. She grabbed me and stroked slowly. Running her hands across my tip. Finally she settled her hips and pushed down on me.

It felt amazing. We both groaned with need. Her hips moved back and forth slowly. My hands moved over her soft skin. Pinching her nipples I could feel her clench around me and soft purrs echoed in the room. The flickering candle light added to the intensity of the moment.

I pushed her back wards and little and she placed her hands on my knees for balance her head was thrown back and her body looked lean. I placed one hand on her pelvis and played with her clit while I pushed my hips into her.

“Oh my god, I’m going to cum again.” She said as her tempo increased. As I felt her start I grabbed both hips and started to push as hard and fast as I could. Her eyes went wide as she tried to keep her balance from the sudden change of pace. Her screams just drove me to go harder. She fell forward onto my chest panting and twitching.

She pulled her hair out of her eyes and kissed me again. I could feel her heart beating through her chest. She gathered some composure and rolled off of me and spread out in the bed. Sweat was glistening on her body as she tried to cool off for a moment.

“Can you grab my bag for me? There’s something I need.” She asked between breaths. Bringing her the bag she sat up and started to rummage through. “How about some water?” I asked moving to the bathroom. “Wine would be better.” I heard her say. So I went out and got the wine.

She gulped the wine down. “Wine helps with the next part.” She said sheepishly. I looked confused as she handed be a bottle of lube. She was practically dripping already I’m not sure why we need lube.

She rolled over and stuck her bare ass in the air. “I want you to fuck my ass” she said playfully. “I’m sorry, you want what?” I clarified not believing my ears. “I want anal sex. I want you to put lube in me and on you and I want you to push your dick as deep as you can in my ass.”

I stood there a second trying to compute what she said. Lucy and I tried before but she never liked it and I wasn’t sure what I was doing. “I don’t want to hurt you. I am not sure what I should do in that position.” Nervous I sounded like a scared little boy.

“Well you could start with putting some lube on your hands and just fingering me. Then when I tell you to, you just push inside me slowly. Once I get warmed up and stretched, I want you to fuck me like you did just now.”

“Um, that was pretty intense. Won’t that be uncomfortable?” Concerned I could hurt her if I’m not careful. “Just listen to me and do what I say, I’ll be fine. Anal makes me cum very hard” she wiggled her butt impatiently.

I did as I was told and started with a finger. The taboo of what I was doing made the experience that much better. She responded to my touch with soft words of encouragement and gentle sounds of enjoyment. She would tell me to add more lube when she needed it. I played with her pussy and clit with my other hand and the sounds of enjoyment were more constant and deeper.

“Stop teasing me, I need you inside me.” She begged me. Excited, I moved behind her and grabbed myself as she pushed back on me. The resistance was intense and slightly uncomfortable. Then suddenly it was gone and a gasp came from Elizabeth. She stopped pushing back and took some deep breaths. “You ok?” Checking in.

She nodded her head and started moving back and forth slowly. The movements timed with her breathing. I could feel her relax and she pushed all the way back. “Oh my god oh my god” she repeated breathlessly.

Long slow strokes where I pushed all the way in. She gripped the pillow in her hand every time I bottomed out. A small squirt of lube applied made a world of difference. Then she started to say “faster” and I would speed up “harder” she would say and I would go harder.

“I’m going to cum soon.” She screamed. “Spank me. Spank me like a slut” I slapped her butt. “HARDER!” I hit her again this time leaving a mark on her. She arched her back in pleasure. I kept at it. “I’m cumming. I’m cumming” she yelled and i spanked her.

I was starting to feel the urge cum “you’re going to make me cum Elizabeth” I told her. She purred and started pushing back into me. Faster and faster she went. “Cum in your slut.” She whispered. I pushed as far inside her as I could and paused and spasmed as I came inside her.

We lay there panting for some time cooling off when she said she was taking a shower. I joined her as we kissed and cleaned each other up. I was spent. We went to bed and slept all night. Maybe we will have round two in the morning.

[callyourose]

match point, chapter three.

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— In which Art and Patrick find themselves intertwined with the relationship of tennis superstar Tashi Duncan and her best friend, Lennon Caddel.

LENNON CADDEL WASN'T TASHI DUNCAN'S LAP DOG. No matter what their relationship would lead you to believe. Lennon was her own person, Tashi knew that. She could make her own decisions, she could choose what to wear or who to date all on her own. She was a grown-up. But... why would she want to? It was just so easy for Tashi to just tell Lennon how to think and for her to listen. Tashi liked that she got to hold on to that sense of control off of the tennis court, and Lennon just liked knowing someone was thinking for her. Maybe that's why their relationship worked so well. They had never argued, they've never even been close to a friendship-ending fight. For the past nineteen years, Tashi had been telling Lennon what to do and Lennon had been letting her. Sometimes it got lonely and sometimes Tashi wasn't very nice. But Lennon had, like, no friends outside of Tashi. Which is how the latter liked it. She wanted Lennon's attention to be on two things and two things only. Tennis and her.

Art and Patrick, and Lennon and Tashi, were sitting on the floor of the boys's hotel room. The carpet was scratching the back of Lennon's thighs, but the alcohol in her system made it not that noticeable. They were passing around a beer, but Tashi had told her to take a shot for confidence before they left their own room. So she did. And now she's sitting here with flushed cheeks and shaky hands and she's unable to focus on anything but the way Tashi is caressing her thigh and the way Art's arm is up against hers and the way Patrick is staring at her.

"Len? Lennon?”

She blinks, smiles softly, and turns to look at her friend. Tashi's hand is still rubbing her upper thigh gently and it takes everything in her not to melt into the floor. "Sorry," she says sheepishly, "I kinda zoned out."

Patrick and Tashi share a smile and she cant help but feel like they're making a joke that she's not in on. "It's okay, honey," Tashi says with a grin, "Patrick just asked you a question and I wanted to make sure you were listening."

Lennon turns her head slowly to look at the brunette boy in front of her. "Oh, I'm sorry."

He smiles and brushes it off. "It's cool, don't worry. I was just wondering what your plans are. Like if you're gonna go pro." He takes a drag of his cigarette before holding it out to Lennon. She looks at it, looks at him, and then looks at Tashi. Tashi knows what she's asking for. She's asking, silently, for permission. She nods softly, and Lennon is reaching her hand out to take the cig from Patrick.

She takes a long drag, longer than she should've, before pulling out of her mouth and handing it to Art. She tries to hold back a cough, but it comes out as a gag. She's so embarrassed that she could just curl up and die right there. Everyone in the room is laughing at her. Patrick being the loudest, but Tashi not far behind. Art glances at her apologetically, but he's still laughing.

Lennon forces a chuckle before, finally, answering the question. "I, uh... I don't know if I want to go pro," she looks down at the ground before looking back up and smiling softly, "I don't think I'm good enough to go pro, honestly." She's messing with the necklace around her neck, a gold chain with Tashi's name engraved on the pendant.

Patrick scoffs. "Are you kidding? You're like... made for going pro. You're crazy fucking talented."

Lennon blushes and brushes off his compliment. "Thanks... I don't know. I just don't think I could be happy playing tennis for the rest of my life."

A wave of seriousness washes over the room. Tashi rolls her eyes and lightly slaps the outside of Lennon's thigh before pulling her hand back. "Don't listen to her," she tells the boys,  "She's super fucking talented and she knows it. Of course she wants to go pro."

Lennon forces a laugh. "Yeah, I mean going pro would be amazing." She side eyes Tashi, almost begging for approval. And she gets it. Tashi, ever so lovingly, resumes the soft caressing of her upper thigh.

It's well past midnight. 4:37am, in fact. According to the clock on wall. The girls had bid their goodbyes to Art and Patrick about an hour ago. When they got back to their own room, you could feel the tension in the air. Lennon could sense that Tashi was mad at her for something, she just didn't know what. 

They had been laying together in their shared bed for the better part of the hour. Tashi had her back to Lennon, when normally she's turned the other way. Every single night, Tashi has her chest pressed to Lennon's back and her arm draped over her stomach. But not tonight. 

Lennon can hear her soft breathing, she knows that she's asleep. But the fact that her closest, and only, friend is mad at her is making it impossible for her to follow suit. 

Everything she does, she does to please her. She's worked so hard to improve her backhand, to straighten her posture, to stop biting her nails just because Tashi told her to. She's gotten so good at making her happy that she's started to sense her problems before Tashi gets the chance to. She wants to push off the disappointment for as long as possible. But sometimes it's unavoidable. Like tonight, I guess. 

"Tashi?" She whispers into the air. The soft hum of the air conditioner muffles her voice. "Tash?"

She stirs in her sleep before waking. She keeps her eyes closed but rolls over on to her back, indicating that she's listening. 

"What?" She answers. There's a bite in her tone. Lennon can almost smell the disappointment that's rolling off of her in waves.

"Are you... mad at me?"

Tashi blinks her eyes open, staring at the ceiling. "No."

Lennon sighs, tears filling her eyes as she stares at the side of Tashi's face. 

"Stop crying." She can't even see her. She just knows her that well.

"I'm not crying," Lennon chokes out, her voice cracking.

Tashi turns her head to make eye contact. Even in the darkness of their room, there's no denying the glint of light reflecting off of her teary eyes. Just as a tear falls, she reaches up to catch it. "Oh, but you are. Why are you crying?"

"I just," Lennon blinks as she tries to push the tears back into their ducts, "I hate when you're disappointed with me." 

Tashi feels bad. She knows she should apologize. She hates when she makes her cry. But something in her refuses to let her say that she's sorry. 

Still staring at the ceiling, she asks the question that's been floating around her mind for the past three hours. "Why would you tell them you don't want to go pro?" 

Lennon is taken aback. That's what this was about? 

"I- I don't know. I do want to go pro. You know that I do." She bites her lip, biting back tears and hoping that Tashi believes her. 

And she does. She rolls back over onto her side, this time facing Lennon. She brushes a stray hair out of her face and tucks it behind her ear. You would think that nothing had happened at all they way she was smiling softly. "I know you do." 

Lennon smiles, drowning in her approval. She rolls over, pressing her back to Tashi's chest. And just like every night, Tashi slings her arm over Lennon's middle, pulling her ever closer. "It would be really fucking stupid of you if you didn't."

[lockedtowers]

Now one thing really important imo is cassie’s autism, and as i’m audhd in real life, i feel i can talk about it really well based around not only my experiences, but those around me. and a really important thing about it is how you really cannot separate that from her. it’s how her brain was developed and how it functions, without it she’d be an entirely different person, the way the organ that all your other organs connect and listen to is kind of how one is forced to exist in any situation anyways and that’s really not any different here. but cassie, also like me, has been forced to mask so much that sometimes it would be hard for others to really spot the traits even though they’re blatantly there (which i dont mean the faerie traits, i know its a running gag that people will be like ‘oh my perfect baby was replaced by a changeling bc look at how it acts!!!) but no, like yes i do have a lot of faerie characters that are also autistic but autism is also a genetic thing, so chances are if you have it, someone else in your family has it too. you aint off the hook bish. )

now one of the most noticeable things about cassie, at least regarding her main/syfy verse, is the fact she doesn’t really have her own built strong moral compass. like she got in trouble with march and the QoH because she refused to kill a child, she felt like that wasnt okay, and that was a strong reason as to why she wanted to get away, but the stronger reasoning was placed in the arrangement with jack that she had no say in. she’s never had much say in her own life until she was assigned as march’s protégé, so it wasn’t like she wasn’t used to not making choices for herself, but she does not like jack. she does not like the way he looks at her. she hates the way he acts like he owns her. she did not want to be tied to him for any reason at all, and that well and truly fueled her desire to escape that life.

but she doesn’t necessarily understand morality at all, the queen of hearts doesn’t care for that kind of talk to begin with and prefers using the wonders to control people. march of course, while he grew fond of her, wasnt exactly a strong moral compass, but he swayed her a lot while she was with him because she was overall mirroring him. something she tends to do a lot. like, it’s very very noticeable that her best ‘moral moments’ would be when she was with hatter, because despite his own skewed moral compass he’s a better person than a lot of wonderland is, and while she still behaved the way she understood (bring him strays, for instance, because its better if he gets the humans than the hearts, even tho w some of my past friends he would extract the negative emotions from them too which is also kind of scummy but again, cassie wouldn’t understand why that’s bad, she just knows he doesn’t necessarily mind getting the strays so she’ll keep doing it.) she was supposed to, her ability to care about other people was a lot stronger while she was with hatter.

and that really continues on outside of wonderland, too. like girl gave up the freedom she hunted for for years to ensure hatter wouldn’t be killed. she is known to be foolishly loyal to a fault to people she thinks care about her. if you’re nice to her, she’ll probably follow you around and shit because she doesn’t know why she wouldn’t do that. and there are people she’s met who will call her out on shit, like ‘oh hey murders really not okay’ and she’ll be confused for sure and ask why, she’s going to ask why, because thats what she knows and what she understands, and why its ‘not okay’ isnt something she understands, especially since she was still doing it with hatter, if people threatened him she’s just off them and hide the remains because she didn’t want him to get hurt.

which is another thing entirely, how self sacrificial she is, and was, even without a moral system in her little head. because she sees someone in danger that she cares about, she’ll risk her life to save them no thoughts behind it. she’s a necromancy witch and it bled into her faerie power, she cannot really stay dead except in certain situations, but she doesn’t understand or know about that. as far as she knows, its a fluke that’ll end at some point, and if she dies protecting the people she cares about, then its fine… except she ends up protecting people she doesn’t know, too. and a lot of times she’ll do things and protect people who honestly dont give a shit about her.

but that's why i’ll say, a lot of the times, she will act similarly to the first person who finds her in any given situation depending on how they act with her. she’s never had that level of freedom before, and even with the new level of freedom, she also knows she’s still being hunted by jack. she doesn’t get why he views her as such a threat, but she knows he does. but she also doesn’t know how humans interact with each other. as her fae side is half unseelie, she is not able to lie, she physically cannot lie in any way. the worst she can do is avoid answering or respond in such a way that the information is true, but bundled so you can’t figure out what she means. as a cat, and specifically a cheshire cat, she already speaks in a ‘weird’ fashion to most, but theres reason behind that.

and she ends up behaving like the people she spends the most time around because she is always observing them, always watching, and learning their behaviors, learning their nuances, and repeating them back to the person. she’s watching, and she’s mirroring, which is both an autism related thing and a cat related thing funnily enough (a LOT of cat behaviors and autism behaviors are similar, tbh, its weird) and unfortunately most of her understanding and comprehension and mirrored traits have come from the men in her life (and any perkiness or excitability probably came from watching carlotta, tbh) and she struggles a lot with socialization since she doesn’t necessarily understand, but she will be the most loyal person you can find or have on your team. it’s just a matter of how well behaved she’ll be in the process.

[lilwoofs]

Part one of an essay text I wrote impulsively

God classic spongbob is so good, and like, although I do mean the show I also mean his character as well, it’s just so charming, because yeah sure he’s gullible and childish, but never in a way that seems too bad, maybe a bit ignorant at some times but that’s what makes it a good plot where he learns from it. Like the best part about him is how many different sides he has to his character, but overall he’s a happy person. He has bonderys though and isn’t always just oblivious, like in the one episode where squidward gets fired and takes advantage of all of spongbobs niceness to him, SpongeBob actually gets mad and calls him out. Or in the episode where Patrick wants a trophy and copy’s exactly what spongbob does to try to get one, spongbob is like ‘that’s creepy’ and then tells him to stop, the shows more like he’s an adult, a definitely young one, but he’s still has child like wonder, and joy. Again with the trophy episode it shows that he is competent, or in a lot of planton episodes he knows when to be serious. I feel like sadly a lot of modern spongbob ignores this, and just make him act childish, always oblivious and smiling or sobbing taken to extremes, which old spongbob did do, but less often making the moments where he would be more extreme in his emotions more impactful and or funny. He also did do bad things without knowing, which was part of the joke, but it happened less often then it does now, making it more funny back then, and the point is it happens to characters when they deserve it. Him and squidward get a lot of episodes where squidward gets the short end of the stick, but newer episodes have it be such a small or no thing squidward did to deserve it, having it instead be like ‘oh SpongeBob didn’t know that he slammed hurt him and that’s so funny because squidward is in pain’ while in older episodes like dying for pie, squidward is so lazy that instead of putting effort into a gift, or even caring when they tell him the pies are bombs, he just Gets spongebob the pie anyways. And SpongeBob never even hurts him in the episode, he just annoys him, making him go around town doing mundane tasks that seem boring and annoying to squidward, liking going up to everyone in town and introducing themselves. That’s why it’s funny, because the activity spongebob is doing isn’t harming squidward, it’s just annoying him, but squidward also gave SpongeBob a pie bomb and he (as well as the audience) think he’s going to die that night. Piled onto the fact that SpongeBob saved the pie to share with squidward at the end, the gag of the pie falling and exploding in squidward face was entirely earned! Because the whole episode had cartoon logic, but never intense outlandish parts, so doing the one outlandish part in the end makes it hit better. Especially because at that point we see squidward get mad at the fact SpongeBob isn’t dead, and we see the kindness SpongeBob had to save the pie to share it. So in that moment we as an audience are at the peak of hating squidward so that is the best time to have something cartoonishly bad happen to him! Not all of modern spongbob is bad too, like there was a moment in a newer episode where spongbob said something about canceling his credit cards, and although obviously you don’t want the whole show to be like that, it’s nice to have moments where the show is grounded because then it makes the moments where it’s extremely cartoonish more funny. And moments like that sort of make SpongeBob seem more like a real person that you can relate too, and in a sense makes the show for everyone and a bit timeless for age, because then older people can watch it, and then in time when the kids who watch it grow up they can look back and still relate!

Part 2