#'less than 30 but more than 10 people under 18 had their hearts stopped' shit

[hungee-boy]

journalism? am i wanting to be a journalist

[giowritess]

— prompt & trope list  —

p r o m p t & trope l i s t  —   m a s t e r l i s t

 — under the cut you have a compilation of prompts and tropes I’ve created and found here on Tumblr and internet. 

— don’t forget to check my fandoms post to see who and what I write for!

TROPES

1. Christmas

2. New Year

3. Valentine’s Day

4. Mother’s Day

5. Father’s Day

6. Wedding

7. Arranged marriage

8. Babysitter

9. Coffee shop

10. Book store

11. Fake dating/marriage

12. Forbidden love

13. Pet store

14. Parent

15. Teacher

16. Flower shop

17. Locked in a room

18. Bed sharing

19. Stranded due to weather

20. Next door neighbors

21. Bakery

FLUFF/GENERAL/ROMANCE

1. You seem like a bad boy/girl/person type. 2. Oh my god, did you just say that out loud? 3. You expecting someone? 4.Do you need a place to stay for tonight? 5. Look at us, we’re basically a couple already. 6. Compliments won’t pay my drinks. 7. Maybe, just maybe, if I get a free drink I might consider talking to you. 8. That won’t work. Try again. 9. You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions. 10. Do you trust me? 11. Can I kiss you? 12. It’s lonely here without you. 13. Is that my shirt? 14. You own my heart. 15. We’re more than friends and you know it! 16. I don’t wanna sleep alone tonight. 17. It was you the whole time. 18. I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretending they’re you. 19. I’m not going anywhere. 20. You make me want things I can’t have. 21. Steal the blankets again and I’ll put my cold feet on you. 22. You’re in love with her. 23. I don’t know if I want to kiss you or shove you off a bridge. 24. Are you even listening to me?! 25. I didn’t think you could get any less romantic. 26. You make everyday worth living. 27. You’ve shown me what love feels like. 28. You’ve always felt like home. 29. I can’t imagine a world/life without you. 30. I am home. 31. I’m right where I belong. 32. Can’t you stay a little longer? 33. You’re the only one I wanna wake up next to. 34. You make me want to be better. 35. I think I’m in love with you, and that scares the crap out of me. 36. I think you’re just afraid to be happy. 37. Why haven’t you kissed me already? 38. You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. 39. I can’t stay away from you. 40. I’m better when I’m with you. 41. I tried my best not to feel anything for you, but I failed. 42. I don’t want to be alone right now.  43. I don’t trust myself around you. 44. I don’t think anyone’s ever said that to me before. 45. Can we just lie here for a moment? 46. I’ve never hated you. You just... make me feel things I don’t understand. 47. If you don’t tell me to stop, I’m going to kiss you. 48. I could get used to waking up next to you, actually. 49. Please, don’t cry. I can’t stand to see you cry. 50. You’re a terrible liar. 51. You’re the only person I want to be with tonight. 52. You’re not going anywhere. 53. You were always good for me. 54. You’re more than just a one night stand. 55. I’ve been falling in love with you since the first day we met.

ANGST & SAD

1. I can’t stand the thought of you. 2. Don’t fuck this up. 3. How stupid do you think I am? 4. You broke my heart and all you can say is sorry? 5. Don’t you dare to leave me. Not now. 6. I’m dying. There’s nothing you can do about it. 7. I’m not gonna lie. This isn’t how I planned for this to go down. 8. I can’t do the things you do. 9. I might never get another chance to say this. 10. Tell me I’m wrong. 11. How much of that did you hear? 12. I thought I could trust you. 13. Are you just going to leave me here? 14. Don’t. I don’t have to hear your pathetic excuses anymore. 15. You knew about this all along, didn’t you? 16. I still believe there’s a good person in you. 17. It was necessary. 18. I’m sorry this had to go down like this. 19. What the hell is wrong with you?! 20. Is that how little you think of me? 21. I’m too sober for this shit. 22. It’s not that easy. 23. You’re more than that. 24. She’s hot, but she’s evil. 25. Well, behaved women rarely make history, do they? 26. That’s not what I meant and you know it. 27. I have to tell you something. 28. Why am I not surprised? 29. She’s not yours. 30. There’s no us. There never was. 31. I made a mistake. 32. Please, don’t walk out that door. 33. When were you going to tell me? 34. The worst thing is, that even after all of that, I’m still in love with you. 35. Would you just shut up and listen to me for two goddamn seconds? 36. If i asked you to stay, would you? 37. I don’t know who you are anymore. 38. I trusted you. 39. Hang on. You’re gonna be okay. Keep breathing. 40. You crossed a line. 41. There’s no turning back from this. 42. I needed you, and you weren’t there.

SMUT — 18+

1. Don’t make me take you home and punish you. 2. I’ve never wanted anyone to fuck me this badly. 3. You’re more than just a one night stand. 4. Like what you see? 5. Try to stay quiet, understand? 6. We’re in public, you know. 7. I really don’t care. You still look hot and i’m trying not to kiss/fuck you senseless right now. 8. Are you sure? Once we start, i might not be able to stop. 9. Make me. 10. Stop teasing me so much. 11. You’re in trouble now. 12. First one to make a noise loses. 13. Mine. 14. Behave. 15. What did you just say? 16. Come here. 17. Watch me. 18. If you interrupt me one more time, so help me god. 19. If you insist. 20. Could he make you feel as good as i do? 21. You make a sound and its game over. 22. If i have to stop what i’m doing, you wont be able to walk for the next week. 23. I haven’t even touched you and you’re already this wet. 24. C’mere, you can sit on my lap until i’m done working. 25. What? Does that feel good? 26. If we get caught i’m blaming you. 27. We have to be quiet. 28. Tell me again. 29. Say it. 30. If you don’t like my teasing, then why are you moaning? 31. I’m gonna fuck you so hard that you forget you ever even met that asshole. 32. You better shut that pretty little mouth before i put it to work, doll. 33. I really want to kiss you right now. 34. Then do it. 35. You’re not taking me to bed. Ever. 36. Who said it had to be on the bed? 37. She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but i bet behind closed doors she’s latex and whips. 38. Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. Thats cute. 39. Don’t fucking touch what is not yours. 40. I’m not sure if its a sexual thing or not. 41. There’s people here. 42. I don’t care what you do,  just fuck me. 43. Fuck you. 44. I’m not going to touch you unless you beg. 45. You can’t tease me like that and expect not to be punished. 46. I’m gonna strangle you. 47. Is that a promise? 48. You look a bit tied up, want me to come back later? 49. Stop distracting me. 50. I know for a fact that you can be a hell of a lot louder than that. 51. Saddle up doll. 52. What are you doing in my bed?! 53. If you're going to act like a little brat then I'm going to treat you like a little brat. 54. You'd better be quiet or everyone's going to know what a naughty little slut you are. 55. Look at you, I've only started using my fingers and you're already shaking. 56. I can't wait to be on my knees for you later. 57. Oh honey, you know, you really shouldn't tease me. 58. If you keep making those sounds I'm not going to be able to stop myself. 59. Such a needy little thing, aren't you? 60. You better watch your fucking mouth. 61. I love the way you look with my fingers inside you. 62. Wanna see what I'm wearing underneath all this? 63. I wonder what your girlfriend/boyfriend would do if they knew what you were doing right now. 64. Do you know how beautiful you are? It's truly distracting. 65. If you leave the house wearing that then the second you get back home I'm going to bend you over that bed. 66. I'm gonna fuck you in front of the mirror, I want you to see how pretty you look when you're spreading your legs for me. 67. Let me show you what happens to little brats who don't follow the rules. 68. You know, there wasn't a single thing to eat in the kitchen until you walked in.

[kpopfanfictrash]

Pride and Fidget Spinners (M)

Author: @kpopfanfictrash , as part of the You’ll Never Shop Alone (YNSA) collaboration with @underthejoon and @suga-kookiemonster

Creative Content Contributor: @underthejoon, for this amazing banner

Rating: 18+

Warnings: oral (female receiving), dirty talk, big dick (it’s seokjin, duh), everyone in this fic is a brat, seokjin talks about fair lending

Genre: Rom-Com / Smut / Enemies to Lovers

Word Count: 18,623

Summary:   Seokjin has always prided himself on being the top mall kiosk salesman. His turf, the spot nearest to the fountain, is due to him being the undisputed best in the game. At least, until you arrive and throw his world into chaos.

[ cross-posted to Wattpad here ]

I GET KNOCKED DOWN, BUT I GET UP AGAIN 

YOU ARE NEVER GONNA KEEP ME DOWN

I GET KNO –

SLAP. Seokjin’s hand finds the buzzer, tuning off his alarm to burrow further under the covers. Sunlight streams through the open windows, pricking the back of his eyelids but Seokjin refuses to look. He can sleep for five more minutes. Five more minutes will not kill him.

Somewhere else in his apartment, a bedroom door slams. Wincing, Seokjin pulls his comforter higher. His roommate, Min Yoongi, spends most of his time annoyed with the world – but especially in the morning, and especially before having coffee. Loud banging continues, along with the sound of facial products hitting the sink. Groaning out loud, Seokjin pulls a pillow over his face.

Unfortunately, he is now awake and unable to slip back into his dream. It was a good one, too. Something about Iron Man and that hot barista at the mall Taehyung is crushing on. Squinting into his pillow, Seokjin abruptly sits up and tosses this on the floor.

“Fuck!” he yelps, throwing up a hand.

Every day, Seokjin somehow forgets to close his blinds before sleeping. Groping his way into the bathroom, Seokjin ruffles a hand through mussed morning hair. Turning on both taps in his shower, he waits for the water to warm and stares at himself in the mirror.

Clapping both hands to his face, Seokjin drags down the side of his cheeks. Getting older is weird.

Before he can get too hung up on this fact, Seokjin steps into the tub. “I GET KNOCKED DOWN,” he sings, lathering himself with soap. “BUT I GET UP AGAIN!”

Once out of the shower, dried and with a towel wrapped around his waist, Seokjin wanders into his closet. The sight dims his spirits a bit, seeing rows and rows of neatly pressed suits. Seokjin stares them each down in turn, knowing blinking is a weakness.

Reaching past them, he sighs.

The one at the front is navy, pin-striped and stares at him mockingly. Seokjin remembers wearing that one on his first day of work, nearly three years ago. He remembers how proud his parents were of him when he called them on his way home.

Seokjin’s heart sinks at the memory. That first phone call overlaps with another, less pleasant one. The one after his company decided to move their programming center out of his city. Seokjin was not one of the engineers selected to go. He was – rather unceremoniously – let go.

Let go. Seokjin snorts at the memory. Let go is such a nicer way to say fired. Fired has the ring of burnt smoke to it; it stinks of crumbling foundations and all hell breaking loose. If a company wants to yank one’s livelihood out from under them, Seokjin at least feels they should have the decency to call it what it is. Let go.

Shaking his head, Seokjin pushes past the suit to grab a white button-down. It has been nearly six months since that second call. Four months since his severance ran out and Seokjin realized he needed a job. Three months and three weeks since he began working at the Fidget Funk – even thinking the name makes Seokjin wince.

If someone had told him three years ago that he, Kim Seokjin, with his fancy degree and multiple years of experience, would ever be working a glorified mall job, Seokjin would have laughed in their face. He would have asked what they were smoking and if he could share – and yet. Here he is.

Frowning at himself in the mirror, Seokjin zips up his pants. Perhaps the worst part is that Seokjin was not upset when he was ‘let go.’ He was not actually disappointed by the firing, which disappointed his parents even more. When Bob and Karen from HR sat him down in that tiny, white room and handed him a tiny, white packet, Seokjin could not stop grinning.

His colleagues thought he had been kept when he left the room. That is how much Seokjin hated that company. His pure joy at finally leaving was enough to make up for the sucky way it happened.

Honestly, Seokjin was not surprised when he was fired. His entire last year he worked there, Seokjin spent most of his free time designing apps on his phone. No wonder they let him go, come to think of it. He was hardly their employee of the year.

Grabbing both wallet and keys, Seokjin shoves these into his pockets. Stepping into the hall, he glances at Yoongi’s room. “Yoongi!” he calls. No answer. “Hey! Min Yoongi!”

Continued silence, apart from the harsh thud of bass.

Leaning a shoulder against the wall, Seokjin tries again. “MIN YOONGI!”

The door at the end of the hall opens, hitting the wall. “What?” With a yawn, Yoongi drags a hand through his hair. Bleached blond strands fall about his face. “You said 10:00 AM. It’s 10:01.”

“Right.” Seokjin looks at him pointedly. “But I need to have the kiosk set up by 10:30, or else Bertha gets pissed.”

Yoongi walks past him and frowns. “Who’s Bertha? I don’t remember you working with anyone named Bertha.”

“I don’t.” Seokjin shrugs. Today is one of the rare days their work schedules lined up and – amazingly enough – Yoongi agreed to carpool. “Bertha is the name of my fidget spinner display. She’s temperamental.”

Yoongi groans, shutting the door. “Dude, you need to get a hobby.”

“I do have a hobby!”

“Then, get a girlfriend,” says Yoongi, sliding his keys from the lock. “You have way too much free time on your hands.”

“Do not,” Seokjin mutters, shoving both hands in his pockets as they walk to his car. “I’m working on loads of stuff.”

“Oh, really?” Yoongi flips his phone. “Which amazing app is it today? Let me guess. The one which meows every time a cat comes near? Or, the one which ranks all the apps in your phone from most to least used? Or, maybe –”

“Hey!” Cutting him off, Seokjin pulls open his car door. “You left out Alliterate! The handy app which suggests words which start with the same letter as yours – for casual alliteration.”

Yoongi stares over the roof of his car. “Dude, who would buy that?”

“English majors. Dramatic teenagers writing letters in the eighteenth century.”

“Seokjin.” Yoongi slides into the passenger seat. “You don’t give a fuck about any of these ideas, and therein lies your problem.”

“Oh, really?” Seokjin sticks his keys into the ignition. The car is sweltering, baking from having been left in the sun all morning. “Unlike you and your SoundCloud rapping?”

“Exactly unlike me and my SoundCloud rapping.” Grinning, Yoongi buckles his seatbelt and looks over at Seokjin. “Speaking of which – I have a new track to play.”

“No.”

Turning on the engine, Seokjin winces when a red warning light appears. He apparently needs an oil change soon but – with what money?

“Yes.” Yoongi reaches out, already hooking up his phone. “Just these two hooks, okay? Tell me which one you like more.”

Twelve minutes later, Seokjin pulls into his unofficial parking spot at the mall. “Will you look at that?” he says, turning off the engine. “We’re here! Time to go sell those fidgets!”

Rolling his eyes, Yoongi pushes open the door. Shoving his white Auntie Anne’s visor further up on his head, he glances around. “You’ll be sorry,” he says, slamming the door. “You’ll all be sorry!” Yoongi yells at the empty parking lot.

Patting him once on the back, Seokjin walks inside. “You know that I like your music.” Seokjin shivers when they both hit the AC. “More than like it, in fact. You’re too good and you know it – your head is inflated, and I have to take you down a peg.”

Yoongi scoffs. “Yeah, because all this pretzel rolling is inflating my ego. I’m basically Kanye, pre-Kim. Or Kanye, post-Kim. Say what you will about the guy, he’s remarkably consistent about how good he thinks he is.”

Snorting, Seokjin quiets when they pass by Kay Jewelers. Both men swerve to avoid eye contact, since they never know when what’s-her-name will be working. Seokjin makes a face. He always forgets her name, but the Kay Jewelers girl is usually after the dick of someone in the mall. Both he and Yoongi have been on the receiving end of that hunt before.

“Alright.” Coming to a stop at his kiosk, Seokjin lowers his gym bag to the ground. “Here is where I bid thee adieu.”

Yoongi continues walking. “Bye.”

“BYE, BEST FRIEND!” Seokjin yells, waving as Yoongi crosses the food court.

Several heads turn, and Seokjin continues waving until his roommate is gone. Grinning, Seokjin returns to his kiosk. Unlocking the metal grating, he pulls this up to reveal a brightly colored display. The morning routine is standard. Inventory, balancing the register, ensuring all displays are functional. Each time he passes the front, Seokjin sees his name on the register.

The kiosk’s top salesman, three months in a row.

It might seem like a silly thing to be proud of, but Seokjin is at a point in his life where everything has gone wrong. Everything he does seems to become a failure and even though he hates this job and hates these fidget spinners (okay, that’s harsh – no one hates fidget spinners), at least he can succeed at this one, small thing.

Selling shit to people they absolutely do not need.

Leaning against the counter, Seokjin crosses an ankle to wait. The mall opens on weekdays at 11:00 AM, prompt. Some places are open earlier – like Java Joe’s, the coffee shop, and maybe the gym – but Seokjin’s kiosk is standard mall hours. Rubbing his eyes, Seokjin glances longingly in the direction of Java Joe’s, but there are only five minutes until the mall opens. He needs to remain where he is.

Pulling his phone from his jacket, he shoots off a quick text.

Seokjin: yo [10:55 AM]

It takes a moment for Namjoon to respond.

Namjoon: what do you want? [10:56 AM]

Seokjin: nothing!!! [10:56 AM]

Namjoon: … [10:56 AM]

Seokjin: ok fine [10:56 AM]

Seokjin: I’ll come clean [10:56 AM]

Seokjin: are you doing the morning shift at T-Mobile [10:56 AM]

Namjoon: …. Yes [10:57 AM]

Namjoon: why? [10:57 AM]

Seokjin: do u think… on ur next break… u could bring me some coffee?? [10:57 AM]

Namjoon: get it yourself [10:58 AM]

Seokjin: pleaseeee Joon?? I never ask you for anything! [10:58 AM]

Seokjin: Chad called in sick, so I’m here all alone : ( [10:58 AM]

Namjoon: sigh. Fine – can you hang on until 1? [10:58 AM]

Seokjin: : ( [10:58 AM]

Namjoon: ur the worst but fine, I’ll try to get away sooner [10:59 AM]

Seokjin: THANKS JOON [10:59 AM]

Seokjin: grande iced Americano, no milk [10:59 AM]

Namjoon: u wouldn’t treat Yoongi like this [10:59 AM]

Seokjin snorts, shoving his phone in his pocket. He absolutely would treat Yoongi like this – problem is, Yoongi rarely responds. He usually spends his work breaks engrossed in his music. If anything, Seokjin is the one who brings coffee to him.

The first two hours pass by at a glacial pace. Seokjin regularly looks at his watch, wondering why the day is moving so slowly. True, it is a weekday but there is usually steady traffic. Stay at home parents and high school kids with nothing better to do than spend their summers at the mall, drinking Orange Julius’ next to the fountain.

It took Seokjin two months to convince his boss to put in for this spot. Next to the fountain is prime mall real estate, since you need to pass by it in order to reach anywhere else. Which is why it is strange that Seokjin has had zero customers.

He is still frowning when Namjoon appears at his workplace, iced coffee in hand. Namjoon wears his T-Mobile manager uniform, complete with a badge which declares his name and title. Kim Namjoon, Assistant Manager.

“Two?” Seokjin fake gasps, holding out a hand. “All for me?”

“Nope.” Namjoon only gives one to him. “One is for me.” 

“Rude.” Seokjin sniffs, turning to survey the mall.

“What is? The fact that I brought you coffee?”

“Sure.”

Namjoon laughs. “What’s up with you today? You seem super distracted.”

Squinting at the fountain, Seokjin shakes his head. “I don’t know. Things have been so quiet today. Is there something going on? A deal at Woodbury mall, or something?”

“Hm.” Namjoon’s brow furrows. “Not that I know of, I – oh, wait.” He straightens, glancing across the food court. “When I was walking over here, I did see a new kiosk. Maybe they’re taking some of your customers?”

“A new kiosk?” Seokjin looks up in alarm. “Where?”

“There.” Namjoon points behind a browning, potted plant.

Seokjin peers in the direction Namjoon is pointing. In his line of vision stands a brand-spanking-new kiosk. The sides are all pristine, gleaming and white, with the kind of bright-colored accents designed to draw people in. Neat boxes of toys line the shelves, almost as pretty as Seokjin’s own display.

Groaning, Seokjin sinks to his kiosk. “Drones?” He glances at Namjoon. “How are fidget spinners supposed to compete with fucking drones?”

“Dunno.” Namjoon takes a sip of his coffee. “I first saw them this morning, but they’re getting pretty good business. Nearly tripped over their salesgirl on my way here. She’s cute,” he adds, glancing at Seokjin.

Seokjin glowers. “Cuter than me?”

“Maybe.” Namjoon shrugs.

“Impossible.” Seokjin glares in the direction of the kiosk. On one side, he can barely make out the shape of a worker and based on what he sees, Seokjin begrudgingly thinks Namjoon might be right. You could be cute.

Namjoon drains the rest of his cup. “Well. Gotta go,” he says cheerfully, clapping Seokjin on the back. “Breaks don’t last forever. Hope the rest of your day picks up.”

“Thanks,” Seokjin mutters. “Hope so, too.”

Namjoon leaves, returning the same way he came towards the T-Mobile store. Seokjin continues to glance at the competing kiosk, staring with envy at its remote-controlled helicopters.

Up until now, the competitive landscape at the mall has been easy. There is a guy on the second floor selling Proactive but other than that, Seokjin has never had real competition. Until now, it would seem.

Rather than be turned off by this fact, Seokjin tilts his head. The only reason he lasted as long as he did at his prior company is because of how competitive he is. Even if Seokjin does not care about the product, he still works tirelessly to be called number one. He should stop by and check out the competition – just to be certain there is no real risk.

Seokjin’s phone buzzes, revealing a text from his boss. Lisa will be here at 5:00 PM, meaning Seokjin only must hold out a few hours before he can see the new kiosk.

Only a few more hours until he knows what he is up against.

Lisa’s arrival at five means Seokjin is afforded a half-hour break. He uses this to grab food, bothering Yoongi at Auntie Anne’s before moving on. Dinnertime at the mall is typically crowded and Yoongi tends to throw mustard if Seokjin overstays his welcome.

Not wanting to ruin his button-down, Seokjin wanders in the direction of your kiosk. He eyes this as he approaches, finding the reality of the situation to be worse than he feared. The drones you stock are cool and what is more – they are all beautifully displayed. The stand might even rival Bertha.

Crossing both arms over his chest, Seokjin examines the kiosk. The products are neat, all of them aligned in carefully placed rows. The fingers on his right hand twitch, really wanting to touch the remote- controlled helicopters, but before he can move –

“Can I help you?” you ask, bright and cheerful. Seokjin flinches, gaze darting to you.

Fuck – seeing you up close, Seokjin’s jaw nearly hits the ground. You are gorgeous. There is no other word for it. The smile you give is infections; it makes him want to smile back. More than that – Seokjin finds himself wanting to be the reason for that smile, but no! Straightening his spine, Seokjin reminds himself that you are the competition.

Looking at you, his scowl deepens.

Your own smile falters. “Did you want me to take that one out?” you ask, pointing at the drone. “Show you how it works?”

Seokjin shrugs, as though he could not care less. “I’m not here to buy, actually.”

Now, it is your turn to look confused. “I – uh, okay.” You squint. “Then, why are you here?”

Seokjin realizes how creepy he sounds. In your eyes, he has wandered over, stared at your merchandise for a prolonged period of time and then announced he was not here to buy. A grade-A creep rivaled only by that one flasher who lurks in female footwear.

“Uh…” Backtracking, Seokjin jerks a thumb over his shoulder. “I work at that kiosk, actually. I’m Seokjin.”

Unimpressed, you glance in this direction. “Y/N. And – uh, okay?”

“I stopped by to say hello. And to see what you’re selling.”

As he speaks, you read the name of his kiosk. Your upper lip twitches as slowly, you return to looking at him. Seokjin is unnerved by your smile. For some reason, he has the sinking suspicion he is the butt of your joke.

“Oh,” you say, tone entirely different. “That kiosk. Brandi mentioned you.”

“Brandi?”

“My boss.” You wave towards the middle-aged woman on the other side of the kiosk. Seokjin thinks he has seen her around before. “She said you’ve been selling pretty well the past couple of months. Great job.”

Seokjin tries not to seem smug – there is an undercurrent to your tone which screams subterfuge. “I mean, yeah,” he says carefully. “Things are going pretty well for us.”

“Strange, then.”

“What is?”

“Strange that we’re doing so much better than you.”

Someone could scrape Seokjin’s jaw off the dirty, child-scuffed floor. You smirk at him, tapping two fingers against the pretty, floral sleeve of your tunic. If Seokjin did not know better, he would think you were flirting with him.

Except you just fucking insulted him.

“I…” Shaking his head, Seokjin’s voice is strangled. “Mall traffic has been slow this morning. No big deal. I guess once you’ve been around longer, you’ll know that.”

“Hm.” You purse your lips. “I don’t know – things have been pretty crazy for us today. We already ran out of a product. Wild, right?”

Seokjin’s mouth dries, his ears starting to buzz – all evidence of his pure hatred of you. Obviously. It could not be anything else.

“You ran… out of something? Already?”

Seokjin’s voice squeaks on the last word, making him cringe.

“Not bad, huh? Although, I guess once we’ve ‘been around longer,’” you mock with a grin, “we’ll get more lulls. Must be nice.”

In the face of his clear disbelief, you have the nerve to wink.

Seokjin begins to see red. “Yeah,” he croaks, recovering himself. “Beginner’s luck is nice, too.”

Your smile disappears. “How long is your break? I don’t think my kiosk could afford to have me gone for so long.”

Not looking away, Seokjin shoves the rest of his pretzel in his mouth. Chewing exaggeratedly, he watches you wince. “Sorry,” he mumbles around cinnamon-sugar bread. “Thanks for the reminder. I do need to be getting back. Can’t have my kiosk without its top salesman.”

Nose wrinkled; you continue to stare. “If that’s your idea of finesse, I think they can manage without you.”

“Please.” Seokjin gives you a pointed look. “I’m literally dripping with finesse.”

Your lips twitch, suppressing the gesture. Seokjin is impressed by your stoicism, since he knows he is a good-looking guy. That much is a non-debatable fact. Even if it were not, he can see by the way your gaze lingers, that you like what you see. And still – when your gaze returns to his face, your expression is artfully composed.

Fuck, Seokjin realizes. You really are going to be competition.

“Is that all?” Blithely, you turn. “Did you just stop by to see how much better we’re doing?”

Seokjin scowls at your arguably perfect behind. “I came to see how much product you have left, yeah.”

Glancing over your shoulder, you grin. “Why? Worried we’ll sell out before you can buy?”

“No.” Undercutting his conviction, Seokjin glances again at the helicopter. “I’ve got my hands full, thanks.”

“Ri-ght.” You draw out the word. “Then, you should probably get back to the, uh – Fidget Funk.”

Seokjin’s ears turn red with embarrassment. “I will,” he blurts, spinning around on his heel. “You have fun at the Drone Dome – fuck,” he mutters, coming to a stop. “That’s actually such a cool name.”

Without waiting for a response, he stalks away. All the way across the food court, your laughter rings out behind him. Upon reaching his kiosk, Seokjin glances over his shoulder. You are not paying attention to him, already engaged with another customer and Seokjin’s stomach slowly sinks.

He might be in trouble – and in more ways than one.

Seokjin arrives the next day ready for battle.

Before, he was unprepared – caught off guard by your wily ways, but no longer! He is Kim Seokjin, crusader of goals and defender of the kiosk. The fact that Seokjin does not care about fidget spinners does not matter. They are his unfortunate chosen weapon and so, he will die upon this metaphorical sword.

Leaning against his kiosk, Seokjin spins a toy in one hand. Smiling and nodding at everyone who passes, he tries not to seem creepy or make eye contact for too long. This is the number one rule of kiosk sales – be deliberate, but approachable.

Most kiosk salespeople fail here, never ascending past the first stage of selling. They leer at shoppers, approaching women with earbuds in, or spraying perfume without asking. Not Seokjin. Seokjin is the very image of class, one ankle crossed over the other.

Seated at the food court is a large group of collegiate girls. At least, Seokjin assumes this based off one girl’s University sweatshirt. They sit clustered around Starbucks drinks (a slap in the face to Java Joe’s!), giggling every so often and glancing at Seokjin. Despite knowing they see him, Seokjin pretends not to care. Every so often, he pushes a hand through his hair and angles himself in the light.

Eventually, he knows one will come over and when they do, Seokjin will whip out the charm. A shadow steps into his path, blocking the sunlight.

Seokjin frowns. “Get out of the way,” he says, bored. “I almost have a sale.”

Arms crossed; you glance over a shoulder. The group of girls glare at you, clearly perturbed at having their view interrupted.

Snorting, you return to Seokjin. “Oh, please. So, what – you’re a pedophile, in addition to creep?”

Jerking upright, Seokjin scowls. “I am not a pedophile. I’m just trying to make a sale.”

“Of what kind?” you ask pleasantly.

“Fidget spinners.”

“Hm. Could’ve fooled me.”

Shrugging, you take a long sip of your coffee. Seokjin tries not to linger on the way your lips wrap around the straw.

I don’t have to explain myself to you,” he says stiffly. “Now, move. You’re blocking my light.”

“Whatever,” you yawn, leaving. As you enter the food court, you give Seokjin an excellent view of your backside walking away. “We’ll still beat your sales target today, anyways!” you call back.

Glaring at your retreating head, Seokjin holds out for as long as he can before dropping his gaze to your ass. Waggling fingers over your shoulder, you disappear behind the potted plant. The college girls resume looking at him but now, Seokjin finds he does not care.

Really, he should be thanking you. As soon as you are gone, three of the girls wander up to his kiosk. Seokjin sells five fidget spinners in one hour, thanks to the jealousy your presence provoked. Rather than be pleased by this fact though, Seokjin becomes even more agitated. He does not like feeling in your debt.

The next time your shifts overlap, determined to get even, Seokjin switches tactics. He parks on the opposite end of the mall, necessitating he should walk by your kiosk. Yoongi complains about this, but Seokjin merely ignores him.

Slowing as he passes your kiosk, Seokjin waits for you to look up.

Both elbows leaned to the counter, you scroll casually through your phone. When your gaze flicks up, taking him in – you blink.

“Oh, come on,” you groan.

Waving to Yoongi, Seokjin veers in your direction. “Oh, hey!” He stops at your display, nonchalantly stretching his arms overhead. “Having a good morning?”

Gaze darting to his pants and back up, you almost seem flustered. “I – how tight are those jeans?”

Seokjin’s grin widens. “What, these old things?”

Turning around, Seokjin checks out his own ass, as though surprised by its appearance. He is rather proud of his legs, actually. There is a reason Seokjin spends so much time in the gym with Jungkook. His newly bought skinny jeans show off his best assets. Not to mention how satisfying it is to see you rendered speechless.

Your gaze returns to his, smoldering. “There’s a tag still in the pocket, genius.”

“Oh.” Grandly, Seokjin plucks this off – fuck, that just cost him an entire week of spending allowance. “Well, there you go. Wouldn’t want to distract from the view.”

Jaw clenched, you seem as though you want to say more, but hold yourself back. “Great.”

Seokjin smirks. “Isn’t it?”

Whirling around, you pretend to be busy but Seokjin can tell your register has already been counted.

“Shouldn’t you be getting back to your kiosk?” You glower, glancing over your shoulder. “I’d hate to waste any more of your time standing here.”

Seokjin’s grin broadens. “You’re right,” he agrees. “That’d be a shame. See you around, Y/N!”

Happily, he turns and walks back the food court. With each step his grin widens, imagining you watching him leave. The rest of his day is spent in lazy self-satisfaction.

As it turns out, Seokjin should have been warier. Your silence was not acceptance of defeat, but a determined self-call to arms. The very next day, Seokjin walks past your kiosk and nearly spills his drink down his shirt.

You stand off to the side, bent to display a generous amount of cleavage. Seokjin’s jaw drops, unable to look away. He realizes how inappropriate he is being when you look up and see him.

“Seokjin!” Straightening, you wave.

The action makes your breasts bounce, causing Seokjin’s pants to feel tighter.

Yoongi snorts at his side. “Good luck, man,” he says, patting Seokjin once on the back before walking away.

Seokjin is left alone, facing the wiles of his enemy.

“Hey,” you say, raising both brows. “Seokjin? Are you okay?”

Forcing himself to move, Seokjin walks robotically forward. He does not allow himself to look below your collarbone – fuck, you must be wearing a push-up bra. There is no other way a single day could cause such a dramatic transformation.

Unable to help himself, Seokjin sneaks another peek.

When he looks up, you are smirking at him. “See something you like?”

The tips of Seokjin’s ears turn crimson. “I – what?”

“The merchandise,” you say sweetly, waving a hand. “We just got in a few new toys over the weekend.”

Seokjin has no response to this, having momentarily forgotten what words are.

Your lips twitch. “Is something wrong, Seokjin?”

Seeing the teasing look in your eyes, Seokjin fumes. “Nothing’s wrong,” he says, jaw snapping shut. “I’ll just be on my way, then. Lots of… fidgets to spin.”

Turning around, he dramatically walks off.

He cannot help but feel oddly unsettled, throat burning in a way which does not make sense. Anger, he tells himself. The emotion is merely annoyance. It is completely natural he would hate his competitor. Natural, for him to think about what their lips would look like shut up by his.

It takes two weeks for Seokjin to enact the next phase of his plan. Which is – dramatic entertainment. Basically, phase two involves Seokjin researching fidget spinner hand tricks for hours at a time on YouTube. It reaches to the point where Seokjin is in near hibernation. Jungkook sends him texts every so often, asking when he will return to the gym, but Seokjin is a man on a mission and cannot be stopped.

He starts off slowly, learning the simple fidget spinner hand transfer. Next is the hand twist, rated Difficulty Level Two by the most known YouTube star. From there, learning the around the back is easy. This maneuver is more complex – it involves Seokjin physically throwing the fidget spinner over his shoulder to catch in the other hand.

Once Seokjin can control two fidget spinners at once, he deems himself ready.

Phase two goes into action on a busy Saturday afternoon. Seokjin hijacks the Fidget Funk’s speakers, hooking up his iPhone to the horror of his co-worker, Lisa.

“Oh, no,” she groans. “Please tell me you aren’t doing what I think you’re doing.”

“Are you thinking I’m doing a fidget spinner trick show?” Seokjin adjusts the sweatband on his forehead. “Alright, then. I won’t tell you.”

“God, how embarrassing.” Lisa slumps low in her chair. “Well, at least do it before Chad gets here.”

“Noted. What song should I use?” Seokjin flips through his playlist. “Hero by Enrique Iglesias? Whatcha Say by Jason Derulo? The Cha Cha Slide?”

Lisa stares in disbelief. “What vibe are you going for, exactly?”

“None of those?” Seokjin frowns. “What about All Star by Smash Mouth?”

“How about Cotton Eyed Joe?” Lisa offers. “That seems more fitting with all of… this.”

Ignoring her sarcasm, Seokjin selects a song to press play. The first notes of Everybody by Backstreet Boys plays through the speakers. Lisa groans and slumps even lower.

At first, no one notices Seokjin at all. People sidestep him, focused solely on getting to the food court but then, Seokjin executes a perfect shoulder throw. A kid stops to watch. His mom stops too, trying to drag her kid forward but failing in her mission.

“Hey!” Seokjin beams, switching the spinner from one hand to the other. “Want to see more?”

The boy nods and before long, Seokjin has managed to gather a small crowd. Over the ooh’s and ahs of children, Seokjin converses with their moms.

“Fidget spinners are proven to help concentration in both kids and adults,” Seokjin says with a hand twist. “One of my friends was telling me a story the other day. He and this AVP at his office are both tactile people and remember better while doing something with their hands. So, they end up having this entire meeting while playing with fidget spinners from her office.”

The moms all laugh, moving forward to let their kids pick out a toy. By the time the day ends, Seokjin has beaten all previous sales records. He has also managed to capture the attention of most people in the mall – including you.

And Namjoon, who stops by before closing.

“Dude,” Namjoon laughs, leaning one arm to his kiosk. “Why are you being so extra lately? It’s just a temp job. Who cares?”

“I care, Namjoon.” Seokjin bristles. “Is it so wrong to want to do well at my work? To want to improve the sales of my peers. Frankly, Namjoon, I’m insulted you would –”

“Hey, Kim!” you yell, passing by. “Heard you’re trying to break into show business!”

Seokjin abruptly stops talking. “Trying?” he calls back. “I’m already there. Were you able to catch a performance?”

Rolling your eyes, you walk backwards. “Of course, I did! The whole fucking mall saw you, Seokjin. Your music was so loud, people physically moved in the food court.”

Seokjin’s grin widens. “What’d you think?”

“I think you should stick to sales.” Shaking your head, you try not to smile. “Anyways, just wait until you see what we’re doing this weekend. It’ll make your lame tricks look like nothing!”

“Can’t wait!” Seokjin cups both hands over his mouth. “I love to watch lofty dreams come crashing down!”

Shaking your head, you turn around and disappear into the mall. Once you are gone, Seokjin returns to Namjoon.

“What?” he blinks, seeing his friend’s smug expression.

Namjoon’s smile widens. “Oh, nothing.”

“What?”

Namjoon merely laughs, grabbing his smoothie and turning away. “Good luck with that, man!”

Seokjin stares after, not understanding but deciding it is not worth his while. Namjoon always thinks he knows so much – granted, he usually does, but that is not the point. The point is Seokjin does not and so, he should not worry about it now.

The next day is busy, which means Seokjin barely has time to consider the performance you mentioned. He is again covering for Lisa, who failed to show up. Chad and Seokjin are the only ones covering the kiosk, which Seokjin despises because Chad is his least favorite co-worker. Lisa may be flaky, but at least her presence is tolerable. Chad is always going off on tangents about who wronged him on Twitter that day, and why.

Chad is also terrible at customer service – no surprise – which means Seokjin must handle all returns and exchanges. A tedious task in itself, let alone with Chad’s monotonous voice in his ears. In fact, the morning is so busy, Seokjin barely remembers to eat, let alone visit you.

It is the sound of cheers over the food court which make him look up.

Midway through a transaction, Seokjin pauses to glance at your kiosk. You and your Manager – Brandi – stand before it, navigating two competing drones in the air. It seems several people are betting on which drone will win.

Rolling his eyes, Seokjin returns to his customer. Smiling blandly, he hands the woman her money and ignores the wild cheers growing steadily behind him. It makes Seokjin’s teeth grind, realizing you might be drawing a bigger crowd than he did.

Unable to stop himself, he peers over his shoulder. Seokjin’s eyes widen. Above the food court, a helicopter loops circles around a remote-controlled plane. They no longer seem to be racing, dive- bombing the crowd and swooping up at the last second. Kids squeal in excitement, running around underneath.

Seokjin scowls, slamming shut the register. His mind revolts at the knowledge that your show is better than his – also, there is the maddening fact that Seokjin wants a drone for himself. Huffing under his breath, Seokjin turns away.

Before he can tell Chad he is going on break, a scream pierces the crowd.

“MOVE!” Seokjin hears your voice above the rest. “KIDS, MOVE!”

Seokjin whirls around, spotting the helicopter spinning out of control. Kids duck from its path, their hands held overhead as the helicopter sputters, dips and sputters again. Steam curls from its top, clearly not responding to the remote you hold in one hand.

Worse than that, the drone is headed in their direction.

“Chad, move!” Seokjin yells, diving out of the way.

Chad looks up just in time to see the helicopter crash into their kiosk.

Fidget spinners fly every which way. From his spot on the floor, several hit Seokjin in the back of his legs – he winces, curling into himself. Chad’s sputtering continues above as the slow whir of helicopter blades begins to wind down.

Seokjin hesitantly looks up. The kiosk above him is chaos. Nothing seems to be broken, but his carefully placed display – Bertha! – is entirely out of whack. Brightly colored boxes lie on the floor, shelving hanging precariously off the sides of the kiosk.

You dash into view, skidding to a stop inches away from his nose. “I’m so sorry!” you cry, a useless remote held in one hand. “I don’t know what happened, I swear.”

Your gaze darts to Seokjin’s, still lying prostrate on the floor.

He slowly pushes himself to stand, staring in shock at the disastrous kiosk. Seokjin expects to feel angry. He should feel pissed, since all his hard work was erased and now, he will have to spend several hours cleaning it up, but – nothing.

Well, that is not entirely true.

Seokjin wishes he could wipe that look of distress from your face. “It’s alright,” he says, still looking at you.

Surprise flickers over your expression.

Chad steps out from behind the kiosk. “Oh… my… god,” he says, eyes wide.

“I’m really sorry,” you repeat, face twisted in agony.

Before you can continue, your manager appears. “Go back to the kiosk, Y/N,” she says, sighing. “There are a bunch of customers to take care of. I’ll handle this.”

It appears you wish to say more, but a stern look from Brandi is silencing. Giving Seokjin an apologetic look, you turn on your heel to walk across the food court.

Brandi waits until you are out of earshot before looking at Seokjin. “I’m sorry about the disruption,” she offers.

Seokjin tears his gaze away. “It’s okay.”

“What?!” Chad stomps out to point a finger at Brandi. “It is not okay! You and your dumb drones wrecked our display!”

Brandi looks at his finger, unimpressed. She glances at Seokjin. “You can throw that helicopter away. If anything of yours has been damaged, let me know. We’ll pay for it – just send me an itemized receipt by the end of the day, okay?”

Seokjin nods, a bit thrown by the interaction. “Yeah, alright. Sounds good.”

Brandi looks at him thankfully, turning around to return to her kiosk. Once she is gone, Chad whirls on Seokjin.

“Man, what the fuck?”

Bending, Seokjin picks up a lone fidget spinner. “What do you mean, what the fuck?”

“They should’ve…” Chad trails off, shaking his head. “Done more. I don’t know. They should’ve cleaned up the whole area, or something!”

Seokjin snorts, replacing the toy on the counter. “Relax,” he says. “It’s not like anything is seriously damaged. We just need to re-stock the display and besides, they don’t know how to do that. It’ll be faster if we do it.”

“Even so,” Chad mutters. He begins cleaning up, casting an angry glance in the direction of the Drone Dome. “They should still fucking pay.”

“They will, if anything’s broken,” Seokjin says simply.

He then tunes Chad out, putting himself to work. Re-stocking Bertha takes a while but, in the end, Seokjin is happier with its order. He keeps thinking you will stop by after your shift, but you do not. Perhaps you are too embarrassed to do so, or maybe Brandi warned you not to go near them again.

Whatever the reason, Seokjin cannot leave before closing. When he finally passes kiosk on his way to the gym, everything is closed, and you are nowhere in sight.

Seokjin lingers a moment before he moves on.

SLAM.

Seokjin drops his barbells, the sound echoing through the gym in a satisfying way. Several women on the elliptical look up in annoyance.

“Sorry!” Seokjin calls, wiping sweat from his neck.

Although the women continue to glare, they return to their workout. Jungkook snickers into the sleeve of his t-shirt, biceps bulging beneath the tight fit of his clothes. Pulling a power bar from his pocket, Jungkook waves at the weights Seokjin discarded.

“Give me ten more.”

Seokjin glares. “Go choke.”

“Can’t.” Unwrapping his snack, Jungkook takes a large bite. “Told my current hook-up that was just for her.”

“Gross.” Seokjin groans, bending to grab the weights. “I didn’t need to know that.”

Jungkook grins, displaying chocolate and teeth. “Ten more,” he repeats.

Despite several muttered curse words under his breath, Seokjin obeys. Dropping the weights again on the floor – in direct defiance of the no weight-dropping sign – Seokjin grabs his knees with both hands.

“Alright,” he huffs, squinting at Jungkook. “I don’t care anymore if I’m in shape. I care more about snacks. Snacks and alcohol.”

“I’m choosing to ignore that.” Jungkook takes another bite. “I’m using one of my free guest passes on you, so you better be worth it.”

Rolling his eyes, Seokjin takes a long swig from his water bottle. Despite this, he still follows Jungkook as they walk to the treadmills. Jungkook is right, he is doing Seokjin a favor by letting him work out for free. Truth be told, Seokjin hated Jungkook when he first began at the mall. Jungkook was young, good- looking and got tons of attention – male and female, alike.

He was the competition.

Over time though, this distrust dissolved and somehow, Jungkook is now one of Seokjin’s closest friends. When he is not annoying the hell out of him, that is.

Throwing his wrapper in the trash, Jungkook wipes both palms on his pants. “So.” Stepping onto a treadmill, he turns the speed to three. “How’s it going with drone girl?”

Seokjin follows suit. “She knocked over my display today.”

“Like, on purpose?”

“Nah.” Seokjin shakes his head. “On accident. She was doing a demo and one of the helicopter drones broke. Crashed into my kiosk.”

“Oh.” Jungkook’s brow furrows. “Still – annoying. Increase your speed.”

Seokjin obeys. “Eh,” he huffs, beginning to jog. “I don’t think it was on purpose. But still, she’s just so frustrating.”

“What’s frustrating? Increase your speed again to four.”

“I don’t know,” Seokjin says, following suit. “She’s frustrating. She has this way of looking at me, you know?”

“Looking at you in like, a creepy way?”

“No…” Seokjin’s feet pound the treadmill. “She’s a tease.”

“Sounds hot.”

“She keeps messing with me.”

“You keep messing with her.”

“She made fun of my fidget spinners!”

Jungkook bursts into laughter. To add insult to injury, he barely seems winded at all by their run and Seokjin is panting.

“Dude. Fidget spinners suck. I’ve heard you say that on multiple occasions.”

“Sure, but she doesn’t have to say that!”

“Whatever, bro.” Jungkook grins. “Sounds to me like you want to fuck her.”

Seokjin is so startled, he nearly trips on the treadmill. “I do not.”

“No judgement here! Do it once, get it out of your system.”

“I don’t want to fuck her, Jungkook.” Seokjin glares in his direction. “She hates me. And I hate her!”

“O-h,” Jungkook says knowingly. “So, you’re in love with her. I get it. Increase your speed to five.”

Seokjin obeys, face turning beet-red. “Jungkook,” he growls. “Shut the fuck up.”

“Make me.”

Reaching out, Seokjin turns the speed on Jungkook’s treadmill to eight.

“Hey!” Jungkook yelps, breaking into a sprint. He manages to keep up, pushing a hand through his hair. When Seokjin rolls his eyes, Jungkook grins. “Nailed it.”

Seokjin returns to his machine. “Besides, you’re one to talk,” he mutters. “Aren’t you in love with the juice girl, or something?”

On reflex, Jungkook glances over his shoulder. Seokjin can tell by his lovesick expression he is right. Juice girl only started working recently at the gym and from what Seokjin can tell, Jungkook is entirely smitten. He has never been subtle about the women he likes, but with juice girl, Jungkook seems to have met his match.

She is completely immune to his charms. Seokjin cannot help but feel sympathy for the guy. Or – at least, he does until Jungkook returns to him with a grin.

“So.” He wriggles his eyebrows. “How hot is kiosk girl, anyways?”

“No.” Seokjin reaches out to increase Jungkook’s incline. “You’re not going to fuck my mortal enemy.”

“Well, if you’re not going to.”

“Think about juice girl!” Seokjin yells – entirely unintentional, but he is running out of breath.

Jungkook retaliates by upping his speed. By the end of their sprint, Seokjin feels like collapsing. He steps off his treadmill with wobbly legs, feeling as though he has just run a marathon. Not that Seokjin would ever run a marathon, of course, but he can imagine. Jungkook follows suit, hopping down from his machine.

“Good workout.” Jungkook wipes his forehead with a towel. “Wanna come over and hang? Hoseok from Foot Locker is gonna come, too.”

Seokjin nods, taking a sip from his water bottle. “Yeah, okay.” He glances again at the door, but your kiosk is too far to see. “Sounds good to me.”

As they walk towards the locker rooms, Jungkook chatters aimlessly but Seokjin cannot stop thinking about you. While he showers and changes, Jungkook’s words replay in his mind. The idea of Seokjin having a crush on you is insane. The two of you have barely exchanged one nice word since you met.

Still. Snapping a towel free from his neck, Seokjin continues to wonder. He does think about you an awful lot. Usually, he is thinking of new ways to annoy you, but that is more than he thinks about anyone else. Chad, for instance – or Lisa.

Frowning, Seokjin slams shut his locker. He cannot ignore the initial attraction he had for you. If you had not been his competition, Seokjin would have probably asked you out.

The moment he thinks this, he freezes. Maybe this is why you annoy him so much – Seokjin is attracted to you and can do nothing about it.

Under any other set of circumstances, this fact would be enlightening but things being what they are though, nothing has changed. You still hate him. Seokjin still finds you his competition.

Staring at his locker, Seokjin’s lips twist.

“Seokjin!” Jungkook yells from the door. “You coming, or what?”

Jerking himself free from his thoughts, Seokjin picks up his bag. “Coming!” he yells, pushing you from his mind.

Seokjin has the next two days off work. He uses this mainly to work on his apps, pouring time and energy into working the kinks from his latest round of updates. In between each stroke of his keyboard, he is thinking of you.

Seokjin hates Jungkook a little, for pointing out the obvious fact that he likes you. Before that, Seokjin took his fixation with you at face value. He did not like you; he was just annoyed by you. Now, though.

He cannot help but wonder.

Exhaling loudly, Seokjin slumps against his kiosk. His manager is off once again – honestly, that dude never works – and Seokjin is stuck working with Chad. Absently, Seokjin twirls a spinner around his finger.

“You okay, man?” Chad breaks the silence.

Shaking his head, Seokjin stares into space. “Oh, yeah. Just a bit preoccupied, that’s all.”

“With what?”

Seokjin shrugs, not feeling like talking.

Chad is one of the few people capable of getting under his skin without saying a word. It is something about the way Chad stands – chest puffed, gaze lazy, as though the world owes him something. He always wears a backwards cap, even inside and Seokjin suspects a receding hairline to be the cause. Whatever the reason, Chad always has a chip on his shoulder.

He seems to be compensating for something. Although what he could be compensating for, as a white male in today’s economy, Seokjin has no idea.

“Hey.” Voice lowering, Chad nods towards the food court. “I know something which might cheer you up.”

Seokjin straightens when he realizes Chad is staring at you. Anything which cheers Chad up could only have the opposite effect upon Seokjin.

“What?” Seokjin asks, suspicious.

Chad leans in. “You know the bitch who ruined our display a few days ago?”

Seokjin’s jaw tightens, hearing you called a bitch. “What about it?”

“Ha.” Chad laughs, not hearing the clear warning in Seokjin’s tone. “Don’t worry about paying her back. I got this.”

Alarm bells go off in Seokjin’s mind. “What do you mean by, ‘I got this?’”

“Let’s just say it’s taken care of.”

“No.” Seokjin drops his phone, standing up from his chair. “Let’s say more. What the fuck did you do, Chad?”

Chad blinks at him in surprise. “Whoa – chill, dude. What’re you pissed about?”

Seokjin pauses, uncertain. It is not as though he knows you, not really. But still – Seokjin remembers how sincere you looked that day, apologizing for the display. You did not mean to injure their kiosk; he knows that much.

“Chad…” Seokjin mutters in warning.

He does not get further before screams erupt from the food court. Seokjin’s head whips sideways, spotting the source of the commotion. Once again, a drone is loose in the mall. Like two days prior, a rogue helicopter flies over the food court. It seems out of control, dive-bombing people at random and sending them running.

Seokjin’s mouth drop. Before he can move, the drone careens towards the ground. A girl stands alone next to the frozen yogurt place, holding her cone and staring at it in terror. Her eyes widen, fixed on the drone and Seokjin moves on instinct, darting into the crowd.

Before he can arrive, the girl’s mom appears to yank her to safety. Her cone spills in the process, mint chocolate chip on the ground, but at least the helicopter misses, swooping and diving again. Seokjin’s eyes narrow, realizing the drone moves much too fast to be out of control.

Glancing around, Seokjin realizes Chad is on his phone. When he sees Seokjin looking, Chad waves at him with a grin.

Seokjin’s stomach heaves. Before he can move, you are barreling towards him.

“YOU!” you yell, pointing a finger. Several people between you look up in surprise.

Seokjin blinks, also pointing at himself. “Me?”

“You!” you gasp, skidding to a stop. “What the hell did you do to my drone?”

You are holding several remotes in your fist, Seokjin realizes. Apparently, none of them are working. The helicopter swoops dangerously close to you both and Seokjin ducks out of the way.

“What did I do?” he blurts, staring upwards. “You think I’m the one behind this?”

“No, shit!” you yell, dodging the drone.

“Y/N, I –” The chopper dive-bombs again and Seokjin groans. This is not going to make you believe him, but he needs to do something before someone gets hurt. “Fuck it!” he yells and takes off.

Sprinting away, Seokjin hears you yelling behind him. Ignoring you, Seokjin leaps onto a table. He is not sure how Chad is controlling the helicopter – possibly from his phone, but Seokjin would not put it past him to have someone stationed elsewhere in the mall. Based on the depth of his vengeance on Twitter, Seokjin imagines Chad to be petty.

All Seokjin knows is he needs to stop the drone and a sure-fire way of doing that is getting the drone from the air.

Above, the drone does a loop before dive-bombing a cluster of girls exiting the lingerie store. The girls squeal, scatting in every direction as the helicopter pulls from its spiral. Leaping into the air, Seokjin’s fingers barely brush a wing before falling back to the ground.

“SEOKJIN, GET BACK HERE!”

Ignoring you, Seokjin continues pursuing the drone. “Sorry!” he yells, dodging a woman. “Y/N, this isn’t what it looks like!”

Your footsteps pound behind him, catching up. “It looks like you hijacked one of your drones!”

“See!” Seokjin glances over his shoulder. “I told you it wasn’t what it looks like!”

“Huh?”

“Aha!” Seokjin leaps into the air. Fuck – he barely misses. Crashing again to the ground, Seokjin takes off running. He uses his next jump to leap onto a table.

A guy looks up from his hot dog, mustard dribbled onto his chin. “What the f –”

Seokjin leaps into the air, fingers grazing the wing of the helicopter. Eyes narrowed, Seokjin swears as his heels hit the ground. A mother nearby covers the ears of her child.

“Sorry!” Seokjin yells in response.

A hand grabs his arm. “Kim Seokjin!” you blurt, whirling him sideways to face you.

Seokjin glances over your shoulder in distress. “It’s getting away!” he blurts, shaking free to sprint towards the fro-yo.

Your mouth drops, but you follow. “What are you doing?”

Not having the breath to answer, Seokjin runs faster. For the first time in his life, he is grateful Jungkook pushes him so hard at the gym. Jumping again in the air, Seokjin thinks he has done it – until you jump suddenly in front of him, swatting his hand.

“Hey!” Seokjin yelps, stumbling as he hands. “What the fuck, Y/N?”

“Mine!” you yell, darting forward.

“Wait – Y/N!”

Grumbling, he chases after you. The two of you must look ridiculous, racing around the food court. As you pass Auntie Anne’s pretzels, Seokjin swears he can hear Yoongi cracking up at the register.

One second, you are ahead of him and the next, Seokjin is. He runs faster, pumping his arms as he spots the drone by the fountain. Cutting you off, Seokjin puts on a sudden burst of speed and leaps into the air. His fingers wrap around metal, yanking the helicopter from the sky. As he descends, Seokjin cannot help but laugh – until your hand finds his elbow, pulling him sideways.

Seokjin yelps, stumbling when his feet hit the concrete.

There is a dangerous, teetering moment where you both hover at the edge of the fountain – and then he falls, taking you with. Seokjin yelps, soaked to the skin when a water jet hits his face. A second splash follows as your butt hits the water.

If feels like a scene from a movie; that moment when a song cuts at a party. One second, everything is happening and the next – nothing.

Slowly, Seokjin pushes himself to sit in the water. The trickling sound of the fountain fills his ears, one of his hands resting on something which is definitely not a penny.

“Gross,” Seokjin groans, seeing the wad of pink gum.

His pants are soaked, so is his shirt and Seokjin does not even want to imagine the state of his hair. Removing his hand from the water gum, Seokjin looks up.

You glare back at him, making Seokjin recoil.

At least the drone is down.

Seokjin can see its red wings submerged in the water, bobbing genteelly in the waves of the fountain. Slowly, the sounds of the mall filter back in. Someone nearby snickers and someone else starts to clap. In his peripheral, Seokjin can see a few teenagers recording and slowly, he closes his eyes. If he goes viral, there is no way his manager will keep him.

You seem to realize the same thing, glancing around you in panic. Seokjin realizes your situation is noticeably worse than his, since you were wearing a white t-shirt when you fell. The material sticks to your skin, making each curve of your body apparent.

Seokjin swallows, understanding crashing into him with all the subtlety of a lightning bolt.

He likes you.

Fuck. Seokjin likes you, and he is a giant idiot.

Snickering at the food court grabs Seokjin’s attention. It appears he is not the only one to have noticed your shirt. At least your bra is white, but this does not seem to matter to fifteen-year-old boys.

Glancing down, you inhale and cover your chest. Seokjin awkwardly tries to stand, rushing forward to help but slips in the process, nearly falling again. It does not seem as though you desire his help anyways, springing to your feet with tears in your eyes.

Teeth chattering, you hold one hand before you. “Stay away,” you blurt, wet strands of hair plastered against your face. As though unable to help yourself, your lower lip quivers. “I fucking mean it, Seokjin. Stay away from me.”

Seokjin’s feet falter beneath him. “I…” Staring at you, he slowly nods in defeat. “Okay.”

You bend, scooping the helicopter into your arms before turning away.

Giving him another scowl, you climb from the fountain. Your sneakers make squishing noises against the linoleum as you stalk through the food court. Seokjin continues to stand there, ignoring the water jets which repeatedly hit his kneecaps.

His stomach sinks, watching you disappear.

Logically, Seokjin should go and find mall security. He should explain to them what happened before they find him, or worse – before he goes viral on the web. Less logically, Seokjin wants to run after you. He cannot simply leave things between you like that.

At the very least, he should find you a dry t-shirt. Maybe Hoseok could get him one from Foot Locker.

Because this is partly his fault. Seokjin was not the one who took over the drone and he did not push you into the fountain, but you only reacted that way because of how Seokjin has treated you. It was not a wild leap of thought to assume Seokjin was the culprit.

Before he can think about this further, a laugh breaks through the crowd. Turning around, Seokjin sees Chad running towards him.

“Wow.” Chad skids to a stop at the fountain. “That was incredible. Did you see how wet she was? And guess who got it all on camera?” He winks, waving his phone.

“Did you?” Seokjin speaks pleasantly, although he is starting to see red. “Can I see that?”

“Sure.” Chad grins, handing over the phone.

Accepting the object, Seokjin promptly throws this into the fountain.

Chad’s mouth drops open. “What the fuck?” he blurts, watching the metal sink to the bottom.

Seokjin brushes off his hands. “You’re fired,” he says, stepping out of the fountain. Water drips from his shirt, splashing the ground at his feet.

Chad’s eyes bug. “You can’t fire me, asshole. You’re not my manager.”

“Maybe not.” Seokjin shrugs and walks past. His hands open and close, curling into fists. “But he likes me better than you and he’ll believe me when I say this was your fault.”

“You dick!”

“That’s right,” Seokjin mutters. He glances at your kiosk, only to find it empty – Brandi must be helping you to clean up. Something twinges in his chest, knowing this is partly his fault. “I guess I am.”

One week later, Seokjin cannot stop thinking about you.

He tries to forget. Truly, he does but this proves itself to be more difficult than he realized. Seokjin did not understand before, how deeply you integrated yourself in his life. He did not realize how much he looked forward each day to your banter, to hearing your laugh whenever he passed by your kiosk. The past month has been bearable only because of your presence.

Slumped at the counter of Auntie Anne’s pretzels, Seokjin stares forlornly across the food court.

“Either smile or move.”

Seokjin turns to Yoongi in confusion. “Huh?”

“Either smile,” Yoongi repeats. “Or move. You’re bumming out all my customers.”

Seokjin glances at the empty food court before him. It is 10:00 AM. “What customers?”

“Exactly. All my customers are scared off by how sad you are.”

Seokjin manages a weak chuckle. “Trust me, my face is not what’s driving your customers away. If anything, it’s your latest SoundCloud mix.”

Yoongi frowns, perturbed. “Take that back.”

Seokjin winces, seeing the genuine hurt on his face. “Sorry, man,” he mumbles. “I’m just not in a great mood today.”

“No shit.”

Seokjin cracks a smile. “That obvious, huh?”

“Much in the same way climate change is obvious to everyone but the Cheeto.”

Stifling a laugh, Seokjin quickly sobers. “I just… I don’t know. I thought she’d hear me out, at least.”

The entire past week, Seokjin has parked at the opposite end of the mall from your kiosk. It makes his morning walk shorter, but somehow lonelier.

“So, this is about her, huh?” Yoongi lowers his elbows to the counter. “She’s gone incommunicado.”

“Yeah, it’s about her. I guess I can’t really blame her for being mad at me.”

“No?”

Seokjin shakes his head. “I was kind of a dick.”

Yoongi snorts. “She was a dick, too.”

“Yeah, but I started it.” Seokjin takes a sip of his coffee. “I was the one who approached her all weird, called her the competition. That set a tone.”

“Okay.” Yoongi tilts his head, thinking. “So, what’re you gonna do about it?” 

“I’m going to do nothing about it.”

“Then stop complaining to me.”

“I’m not complaining!” Seokjin looks up and sighs. “Alright, maybe I’m complaining a little. I just… wish I’d realized I liked her sooner.”

“Who cares about that? Tell her now!”

“But she hates me.”

“She hated you then!”

Seokjin glares and takes another sip of his coffee – sputtering, he chokes, “Oh, shit – that’s hot.”

“Hey.” Yoongi gives him a look. “She thinks you messed with her job. That’s way different than wearing tight pants, or putting on a fidget show, or whatever.”

“Fidget spinner show, Yoongi. Fidget show sounds like something else.”

“Both are lame,” Yoongi says. “And my point still stands. She’s mad at you now because of something you didn’t do. Now, move your elbow – I need to clean that spot before lunch.”

Seokjin obliges, dutifully removing himself from the counter. Drinking his coffee, he stares out at the food court. Up until now, Seokjin thought he was doing the noble thing. He was respecting your wishes by giving you space. You said you did not wish to see him again.

Yoongi is right, though. You said all that laboring under a misconception. More than respecting the words said in anger, perhaps it is better for Seokjin to tell you the truth. Maybe pretending to be noble is just another way of chickening out.

Because if Seokjin explains everything to you and you still do not care, it means he is alone in all this. His feelings are one-sided and everything before now was merely a rivalry. The spark Seokjin feels when he looks at you, the burning desire to kiss you – if you knew all that and still hated him, then Seokjin would be alone.

Seokjin exhales and looks up. “Gotta go,” he says, slapping the counter. “See you after your shift?’

“Wait!” Yoongi catches his arm before Seokjin can leave. “Bracelet buddies?” he grins, holding up the pink cat charm wound around his wrist.

Seokjin groans, dutifully rolling up his sleeve to showcase the pale pink alpaca. “Bracelet buddies,” he says glumly.

Yoongi gave him the gift several days ago; payback, he said, for all the women Seokjin has sent his way with the promise of a free pretzel. That used to be Seokjin’s way of scoring dates at the mall. At least, before he met you. Seokjin is obligated to wear said bracelet for three months, or else Yoongi will send their friends pictures of him sleeping with his mouth open on the couch.

If he is being honest, Seokjin does not entirely hate the bracelet. The alpaca is kind of cute, but Yoongi cannot ever know that. Waving goodbye, he manages to scowl and keep up appearances when he heads towards his kiosk.

For the next several days, Seokjin continues to wimp out.

Kind of.

While he does not actually explain what happened, he tries to make up for it in other ways. On Monday, he overhears you telling the Kay Jewelers girl the legs of your stool are too short. As a result, Seokjin volunteers to work late and stays long after closing. Before he leaves, he goes to your kiosk and switches your stool for his.

On Thursday morning, your shifts overlap. Seokjin sees you yawn passing his kiosk, mentioning to Brandi you did not sleep well the night prior. Ducking behind his counter, Seokjin does not make eye contact.

Still, he stops by Java Joe’s on his break and begs Taehyung for coffee.

Taking the long way back through the mall, Seokjin visits your kiosk. It is the first time he has tried talking to you since the Great Fountain debacle. As you come into view, Seokjin swallows and forces the words from his lips.

“Hey.” He comes to a stop at the register.

You freeze when you see him. “Um. Hi?”

Seokjin holds the coffee tray out like a shield. “I was at Java Joe’s and Taehyung brewed too much espresso. Lisa doesn’t drink it, so I was wondering if you wanted it?”

Your lips part, staring at him for a moment.

When you do not immediately respond, Seokjin starts to sweat. “You don’t have to take it,” he says quickly. “I can give it to someone else. It’s too much for me though, and you were on the way back from the shop…”

Trailing off, Seokjin wonders if this entire endeavor is foolish. The tray he is holding is full – four, small cups of espresso which cost an hour of pay. Of course, you do not need to know that. You only need to know that he thought of you.

“I – yeah,” you say slowly, reaching out for a cup. “Thanks, Seokjin.”

Seokjin blinks, since your response was almost cordial. Before he can get too excited about this, Brandi appears.

“Wow, thanks!” she enthuses, grabbing a cup. “That was so nice of you to do this.”

“Right.” Seokjin deflates just a little. It is not as if he does not want Brandi to have espresso, but he was hoping for a shared moment with you. “Just spreading the love – or caffeine, as it were. Anyways…” His laughter trails off, gaze darting to you. “Guess I have one more cup to distribute. Enjoy!”

He turns around too fast for you to respond.

Each step he takes, Seokjin half-expects to hear you call out behind him. If this were pre-Fountain Incident, you probably would have. An insult, or horrible pun – something to let Seokjin know you were watching him walk away, but now there is only silence.

This goes on for a week. Seokjin continues to do nice things for you, passing by in the hopes you will say hi. He holds his breath and hopes you will speak first, but it seems you are determined to continue icing him out.

Seokjin supposes he cannot blame you for this. It is not as though you were friends, after all.

He has almost accepted the idea that you will continue being strangers when one day, Seokjin looks up and finds you at the register.

All words instantly die in his throat.

If he thought he was in the process of getting over you, Seokjin was sorely mistaken. The days of silence have not lessened his want, but only intensified it. It makes him swallow, uncertain, which must be a first. Out of all his friends, Seokjin is not the one to call shy.

Tentatively, you smile and Seokjin realizes he still has not spoken.

“H-hi,” he stammers.

Your shoulders seem to relax at his nervousness. “Hi. Is this a bad time?”

“No,” Seokjin says, slamming his register shut. “Lisa is on break, but it’s been a slow afternoon.”

“Yeah,” you exhale. “Same. Guess we finally found those lulls you were on about.”

Seokjin chuckles under his breath. The space between you falls silent again.

“I, uh…” Twisting your hands before you, you seem unsure what to say. “I haven’t seen you around, lately.”

Seokjin’s heart stutters. “Oh. I guess.”

“That’s kind of my fault,” you say. Seokjin’s gaze drops to your hands, which continue to twist. He finds the gesture oddly endearing. “I was the one who told you to stay away.”

Arching a brow, Seokjin turns towards the register. He does not know what to say without being rude. Yes, seems like the most obvious answer, but that could be construed as impolite. Casually, he sneaks a peek sideways. You are right, though – this is partly your fault, also. Even if the other fault is his own.

“Yeah,” he agrees. “I don’t blame you for saying that, though.”

“You don’t?”

Curiosity laces your tone and Seokjin looks up, surprised to see a question mark in your gaze.

“Brandi told me Chad was fired,” you add.

Seokjin stills. “Yeah. He was.”

You pause, as though waiting for an explanation. When none comes, you narrow your eyes. “He was the one who messed with that drone, wasn’t he? Not you.”

“I – yeah, I guess so.”

Exasperation enters your gaze. “Well, why didn’t you tell me?”

“I did!” Seokjin protests. “I told you when we were chasing after the drone and you didn’t believe me!”

“Oh,” you say, wilting a bit. “Right.”

Seeing your face, Seokjin softens. “Look, it’s not a big deal.”

“Is it?” you ask in disbelief. “I yelled at you in front of the entire mall for something you didn’t do, and you’re saying its fine?”

Seokjin’s lips quirk. “Well, when you put it like that.”

When you roll your eyes at the ceiling, he laughs. Weirdly, it feels good to have you disparage him a little. It feels as though you are on even footing again.

“I mean, it’s not like we were friends,” Seokjin continues. “Why wouldn’t you think it was me?”

“Hm.” You blink, taken aback. “I guess you’re right.”

After another long moment, Seokjin adds, “We could try to be friends now, though. If you want.”

You bite down on your lip. “Are you giving me a formal offer, Seokjin? Should I sign on the dotted line somewhere?”

“I can make a contract if you want. All good peace treaties are in writing.”

“Is that what this is? A peace treaty?”

“Of a sort.” Seokjin raises a brow. “I can’t promise to stop kicking your ass in sales, though. I was born talented.”

“Or, maybe it’s Maybelline,” you shoot back. “I wouldn’t want you to stop, though. It’s been too quiet around here without you blasting Backstreet Boys.”

“Liked what you heard?”

“Who doesn’t like Backstreet Boys?”

“Monsters.”

“Agreed.”

“Wow.” Seokjin’s brow furrows. “I think that’s the first time you’ve ever agreed with me.”

“I know.” After a moment, you frown. “It’s oddly unsettling.”

Seokjin laughs – a short, surprised burst which makes you smile. “Well...” Trailing off, he finds himself unsure what more to say. “Is that why you came over?”

“Let’s see.” You lift a hand, ticking things off on your fingers. “Tell you I know you didn’t sabotage my job. Check. Ask to be friends? Check. Oh,” you add, as though only remembering. “There was something else I wanted to say.

Seokjin waits, holding his breath as you start to lean in.

Angelic, you smile. “I lied before,” you say. “We aren’t having a lull. See you around!”

Dropping a wink, you turn to walk across the food court. Seokjin watches you go, legs having effectively turned to jelly in your presence. It is unfair that you have this effect on him. Slowly, he lowers himself onto his stool. It would seem the two of you are friends now.

Dragging a hand through his hair, Seokjin wonders what he has gotten himself into.

Over the next couple of weeks, Seokjin stops by your kiosk more often. He learns your usual morning coffee order – a grande iced Americano – and occasionally brings it along. You seem to have switched to the morning shift, he notices. Before, it was about fifty-fifty which time of the day you showed up.

At some point, Seokjin explains about his former job and current app development side projects. This turns into a running joke of him bouncing ideas off you.

“Okay,” you say, folding your hands across a wan food court table.

Seokjin takes a sip of his coffee. “Okay, what?”

“Okay, what’s today’s app idea?”

Seokjin snorts. It is 10:00 AM and neither of you must be at your shift yet but somehow, you both managed to arrive early.

“What about this?” Seokjin leans back in his chair. “Angry birds, but – instead of birds, its photos of friends that you upload yourself.”

“Pass.”

“Hm. A Bachelorette fantasy league app?”

“Hard no.”

“Okay, so this one is a kid’s game.”

“Go on.”

“A kid’s game where you change the oil of your dad’s car as fast as you can.” 

You snort, nearly spilling your drink. “Seokjin! That’s a terrible app idea.” 

“Bonus points if you spill no oil on the driveway!”

“Seokjin!”

He grins. “Yeah, Yoongi said it was bad, too. I don’t get it.”

“Please.” Shaking your head, your smile fades the longer you look at him. “I don’t believe any of those are your actual idea, though.”

“Huh?” Seokjin blinks. “What do you mean?”

“Those are just the ideas you tell people to make them laugh,” you observe. “It gets them off your back, so you don’t have to say your actual idea. You know, the one you really care about.”

Seokjin pauses, mouth suddenly dry. “I don’t know what you mean.”

You arch a brow. “I get it. That’s how I am with my writing. Freelance doesn’t exactly pay for dreams, does it? I tend to downplay my favorite ideas, so then if they don’t work out – hey, at least it wasn’t something I cared about. You know?”

Seokjin is not quite sure how to respond. In only a few sentences, you have looked inside him and summarized his thoughts. No one – not even Yoongi, whom Seokjin has known for years – is able to read him as well.

Inhaling gently, Seokjin leans back from the table. “Well,” he admits. “There is this one idea.”

“Oh?”

Nodding, Seokjin considers where to begin. “Do you know what fair lending is?”

“Not really, no.”

“It’s the unbiased treatment of customers by banks.” Seokjin pauses and, when you do not seem bored with the topic, begins to speak freely. “It ensures financial institutions provide uniform services, regardless of bias.”

“Gotcha. So, it’s like equal opportunity but for banks?”

“Kind of, yeah.” Seokjin exhales. “Basically, I want to create a fair lending app. There is a lot out there to help with credit decisions and stuff, but I want to put it all in one place. I want to break down the ‘non-biased metrics’ banks use and warn people how there could be bias involved.”

Your frown. “What do you mean?”

“Take income, for example.” Seokjin grips his cup tighter. “The vast majority of people below the poverty line are minorities. So, if a bank has a hard and fast income requirement for a loan, they inadvertently discriminate. It’s why a variety of factors are mandated to assist in … what?” Seokjin blinks, seeing you staring. “What is it?”

Hiding a smile, you shake your head. “Nothing, it’s just a cool idea. I think you should do it.”

“But then who will make bachelorette fantasy app?” Seokjin jokes, ducking his head.

“Someone else.” You wait until he looks up. “Do the fair lending app.”

Seokjin finds he cannot think of another joke. “Alright,” he says slowly. “It’s a plan.”

You nod, sipping your coffee as silence falls in between you. It is unnerving, how easy it is for Seokjin to talk to you. With most people, it takes him a while to show his true colors but with you, he finds he cannot be anyone else.

Glancing at his watch, Seokjin realizes how late it is. “Shit,” he mutters, jumping out of his seat. “It’s nearly 10:30.”

You wince, standing as well. “Damn, do you have to open today?”

“Unfortunately so.” Seokjin grabs his coffee. “I’ll catch up with you later, okay, Y/N?”

“Okay,” you say, waving when he turns out of sight.

Seokjin does not hesitate to walk away. He curses himself the entire way to his kiosk because he is becoming much too comfortable with being your friend. Enough that he keeps catching himself thinking about more.

It is hard not to think about his hands wrapped around yours on your coffee cup. Hard not to imagine carpooling with you in his car to work. Seokjin tries to be on his best behavior but still, the fantasies worm their way in.

It is why he has created several rules of conduct around you. First and foremost is never stay for too long. The second Seokjin feels himself becoming attached, he leaves. Like now, for instance. Seokjin does not really have to be at the kiosk before eleven but the way you were looking at him made his heart beat out of his chest.

Self-preservation, he reminds himself.

The rules are working until Taehyung throws a party.

“Saturday night,” Taehyung grunts, slamming Seokjin’s coffee order on the counter.

Seokjin blinks, reaching up to take both cups. Lately, Taehyung has been in the worst kind of mood. This mostly seems to stem from his hot co-worker who will not take him seriously. All the guys in the mall gave him shit about it before, but the kid really does seem to like her. Which sucks, since Taehyung has a reputation and the pretty barista clearly has heard of it.

“The party is at your place?” asks Seokjin, glancing up at the counter.

Taehyung nods. Loud enough for his co-worker to hear, he adds, “The party will be at my place this weekend! Can’t wait to see you there, Seokjin!”

Seokjin snorts, shaking his head. “You’re whipped, man,” he whispers. Then, loud enough for the female barista to hear, he adds, “I’ll be there! In fact, everyone should come!”

The girl does not react, busy at the register and Seokjin shrugs.

Sorry man, he mouths to Taehyung before pushing open the door. Making his way through the mall, Seokjin walks past your kiosk – only to see you deep in conversation with another guy. Seokjin does not recognize him as your co-worker, but he does recognize him from the gym.

Occasionally, Jungkook talks to him before they work out. Seokjin never found the guy threatening before.

Seeing him now though, the oddest sensation unfurls in his stomach. He does not want you talking to this guy – the desire flashes through Seokjin’s mind faster than he can stop it. Before he can turn around and leave though, before Seokjin can separate himself from the situation, you look up and smile.

“Hey, Seokjin!”

“Hey, Y/N.” Plastering a smile on his face, Seokjin forces himself to walk towards your kiosk. “And you are…?” he asks, looking at the stranger.

The guy grins, unconcerned. “Hey, I’m Josh.”

“Cool.” Seokjin returns to looking at you. “Are you coming to Taehyung’s party this weekend, Y/N?”

Everyone at the mall knows who Taehyung is. He is a staple for anyone who drinks coffee – and chances are, if you have stopped by Java Joe’s in the past three days, you are invited.

Your eyes widen. “I was thinking about it.”

“Cool.” Seokjin casually leans an elbow against your kiosk. He forgets about the wheels though, and as a result, the entire thing starts to move. Frantically attempting to right this, Seokjin nearly spills his coffee in the process.

“Anyways…” he mutters, ears turning scarlet.

You clamp your lips tightly together. “So, you’re going to be there?”

Seokjin nods. He has no idea what he is doing. He has no idea what Josh is doing, since he has not said a word since introducing himself.

Glancing at him now, Seokjin is reminded of Chad. Not because the two look anything alike, but because they both have that air about them. That condescending, could-bench-press-you-in-seconds look. Seokjin bets that, at some point in the past ten days, Josh has worn a snapback.

You are standing close very close to him, though. Seokjin cannot ignore this fact.

“Cool.” Your gaze lingers on his. “Then, I guess I’ll see you there?”

Seokjin nods. “Guess so. We’ll see!”

He turns, walking away and overhears Josh ask you details about the party. Gritting his teeth, Seokjin uncurls his hands from their fists. You are not his to be jealous of, he reminds himself. He has no right to be angry if you decide to date someone else. But still, Seokjin’s mood remains sour for the rest of the day.

You do not visit at the end of your shift. If could be because you are genuinely busy. Or, it could be something else. Or, someone.

Seokjin has the next two days off. He uses them to work on his fair lending app, getting a good bit of coding done in his apartment. Your voice plays in his mind as he works, telling him to go for what he wants.

Seokjin is tired of working at the Fidget Funk. He is tired of waking up every morning, going to a job he hates and feeling as though he is doing nothing with his life. What was supposed to be a temp job has stretched into months and Seokjin needs to act for anything about this to change.

There is only so long he can complain before doing something about it.

He wants to do what he loves; wants to do something he cares about – not this. Sometimes, making that decision is the hardest part.

The night of the party, Seokjin drives there with Yoongi. Yoongi, surprisingly agrees to come with little coercion. Usually, Seokjin needs to drag his taciturn roommate to social events. He was easily convinced tonight though, which results in Seokjin being more nervous than normal.

As they enter Taehyung’s apartment, he pauses on the threshold.

If he had your number, he would have texted to see if you were coming, but Seokjin does not and so, he could not. Wandering into the room, Seokjin winces when no one removes their shoes. Parties are always strangely barbaric in that regard.

Taehyung’s apartment with his roommate, Jimin, is much larger than his. Seokjin remembers Taehyung saying Jimin came from money but does not remember specifics. Jimin is a night nurse at NorthShore Medical center and often stops by Java Joe’s in the morning for coffee. Other than that, Seokjin does not know much about him.

Walking inside, Seokjin realizes Taehyung has downplayed Jimin’s wealth. There is no way they could afford this place on a nurse and barista salary. A bunch of people are outside – because there is an outside; a large balcony overlooking the city – chatting about nothing over the rims of their drinks.

Yoongi disappears as soon as they enter, heading off to god-knows-where. He leaves Seokjin alone, who shifts his weight about nervously. Glancing up, he spots Namjoon in the kitchen and hastily rushes towards him. Finally, a familiar face.

“Joon!” he calls out.

Namjoon waves, re-filling the cup in his hand. When Seokjin reaches his side, he hands another to Seokjin. “Hey,” Namjoon nods. “You just get here?”

“Yeah.” Seokjin scans the party again, red cup in one hand. “Is everything c –”

Cutting himself off mid-sentence, Seokjin stares when you walk into the room. Everything he wanted to say falls from his brain to the floor. It is not unlike that one scene in She’s All That, when Laney comes down the stairs and Freddie Prinze Jr. loses his mind. Seokjin cannot think, looking at you.

A red cup is in your hand, matching the red gloss on your lips and god, Seokjin cannot stop thinking about kissing it off.

He swallows, hard – and then notices the guy at your side.

You laugh, turning sideways to Josh. Because that is who it is, of course – the same muscle- bound jock you were talking to at the drone kiosk earlier.

Jungkook appears as well, clapping Josh on the shoulder. Seokjin scowls, swallowing a larger sip of his drink than intended. First, this guy tries to steal his girl and now, his best friend. Eyes widening, Seokjin straightens. Shit, you are not his girl. He needs to stop thinking that way.

“Seokjin?”

Seokjin realizes Namjoon is staring at him. “Uh, yeah?”

“You trailed off in the middle of a sentence and have been hard-core staring at that girl ever since. Is – oh!” Namjoon’s eyes light up. “That’s her, isn’t it?”

“That’s who?” Seokjin hastily swallows his drink.

“The girl! Fountain girl!” Namjoon shoves him. “The one you’re head over heels for!”

“Okay, fountain girl is a horrible way of describing her. And yeah, maybe that’s – shit, shut up,” Seokjin hisses. “She’s coming this way.”

Namjoon snorts into his drink. You are, indeed, waking towards them but Josh is no longer beside you. Craning his neck, Seokjin looks over your shoulder but does not see the guy anywhere.

“Hey.” You come to a stop right before them, glancing at Namjoon. “Namjoon, right?”

Namjoon sticks out a hand. “Yep. Y/N?”

You take this, stifling a smile as you shake. “Yeah.”

“And, of course, you know Seokjin.” Namjoon grins at Seokjin’s flustered expression.

“Uh-huh,” you say, offering him a tentative smile. “We go way back.”

Feeling somewhat nauseous, Seokjin takes another sip of his drink. “Y/N and I are friends.”

A flash of something – uncertainty? Annoyance? – crosses your features. “Right,” you say carefully. “Friends.”

Your expression remains stubborn though, and Seokjin wonders if he has done something wrong. Changing the subject, he glances around the apartment. “Have you been here before, Y/N?”

“No,” you confess. “But damn – which roommate won the lottery?”

Seokjin grins. “I know, right? I can show you around if you want.”

You blink, taken aback by his offer and Seokjin wonders if that was too forward. Well, fuck it – he is not getting anywhere by being subtle.

“Yeah,” you say, recovering yourself. “I’d like that.”

Pushing himself off the counter, Seokjin says goodbye to Namjoon and plunges into the party. He continues to look for hot gym guy, Josh, but does not see him anywhere. It is unlikely you came here together, but not impossible. Perhaps the two of you are dating. Perhaps you like him and want to date him in the future.

Seokjin is so busy running through what-if scenarios, he does not notice you looking at him.

“Right, so Taehyung and Jimin’s rooms are that way.” Seokjin leads through the crowd. “Aka, that hall is off limits. This is the living area and well, you already saw the balcony.” Steps faltering, Seokjin looks sideways at you. “Did you see the balcony?”

You shake your head. “Nope.”

“Scared of heights?”

“Not really, no.”

“Well, then you’re lucky.” Seokjin mutters, pushing open the sliding glass door. “Luck you never met that dick, Jared Karinsky.”

Laughing, you follow him out on the balcony. There are only a few other people outside and, once the door slides shut, it feels as though you are trapped in another world.

“Who’s Jared Karinksy?”

Glowering, Seokjin takes a sip of his drink. “Some dick who knew I didn’t like heights, but still brought me to the top of the jungle gym. Then, he left me there. It took two hours for my brother to find me and get me back down.”

Laughing, you lean against the railing. “I take it that didn’t help?”

“It did not,” says Seokjin. “If anything, my fear was worse after.”

You grin, draining the rest of your cup as the wind ruffles your hair. It makes Seokjin’s heart ache a bit to look at.

“Well, I have to say –”

The glass door slides open, interrupting whatever you were about to say. Josh’s head pops out. “Y/N!” he grins. “I was looking for you.”

You slowly turn towards the interruption. “I... oh. Hey, Josh.”

“Are you busy?” Josh glances between you and Seokjin.

Rubbing the back of his neck, Seokjin feels oddly foolish. It seems obvious now, that you came here with Josh. You must have been making a beeline for drinks when you ran into Seokjin in the kitchen. Seokjin assumed, then. He thought you were free. When he grabbed you, he was yanking you away from the guy you really wanted to be with.

“Not busy.” Seokjin drains the rest of his cup. “Not busy at all. Have fun,” he mutters, brushing your shoulder as he moves towards the door.

When he leaves, Seokjin does not look back and so, he does not see your lips part. He does not watch you stare after him with equal parts frustration and anger. All Seokjin sees is the kitchen before him, full of alcohol for him to consume. Alcohol he will need to get through the rest of this party.

He is almost to the kitchen when a hand grips his arm, yanking him around. “What the fuck was that?” you say, brows furrowed.

Seokjin stares at you, alarmed you are in such close proximity. “I – huh? What the fuck was what?”

You scowl, leaning in and Seokjin leans back. “That!” you demand, waving vaguely at the balcony. “Why did you run away?”

“Run away?” Seokjin’s gaze darts towards the offending location. “I thought you wanted to talk to that guy?”

“Why would you think that?” you ask, brows furrowing further.

“I…” Seokjin finds himself at a loss. “I don’t know. Didn’t you come here with him?”

“With Josh?” You wrinkle your nose. “You mean – my cousin, Josh?”

“…cousin?”

You nod, looking at him incredulously. “You thought I wanted to talk to my cousin, Josh, as opposed to you?”

A lightbulb clicks in Seokjin’s mind. “I – he’s your cousin?”

“Yes, he’s my cousin.” Scowling, you take a step closer. “But even if he weren’t, why would you just leave like that? We were in the middle of a conversation!”

“I don’t know!” he blurts, gaze narrowing at your tone.

Out of the two of you, Seokjin is the one with the right to be angry. You are the one looking so damn good tonight and currently yelling at him for something he does not understand.

Vaguely aware they should not have this argument in the middle of Taehyung and Jimin’s kitchen, Seokjin grabs your wrist and tugs you into the hall. The forbidden one, next to the bedrooms. Realizing this, Seokjin keeps going and decides to beg forgiveness later.

Dropping your arm, he whirls around to find you mere inches away.

“Why didn’t you ask me to stay?” he accuses, pointing a finger. “For that matter – why didn’t you ask if I was going to the party tonight? If my presence is so important to you.”

Glaring at him, you bat his finger away. “You asked me first! Besides, I thought it was obvious I wanted you here. You know… because of the… and…”

“Because of the what?”

Somehow, you have gotten very close to Seokjin. The tips of your toes are just brushing his. Electricity crackles between you, making Seokjin’s heartbeat oddly erratic.

Glowering, your gaze darts to his lips. “Oh – seriously? Shut up and kiss me, you ass!”

Grabbing your face, Seokjin does just that. His lips crash into yours, the kiss muffled and urgent as he backs you to the wall. You groan, hands fisting in the back of his t-shirt. Seokjin cannot think beyond his hand resting on your jaw, then sliding into your hair, then moving down to your ass.

He cups you against him, head reeling from the sudden warmth of your mouth, your body and the urgency of your touch. Seokjin has never wanted someone so badly. Each brush of your lips leaves him wanting more, an endless desire alight in his veins.

Your mouth opens, tongue flicking with his as Seokjin’s heart nearly explodes. He cannot breathe – each breath mingles with yours, leaving him dizzy and parched.

“Fuck,” he groans, breaking away to lean his arm to the wall.

You stare up at him, breathless and confused. Your chest continues to rise and fall, lips swollen from the wanton press of his mouth. Seokjin cannot look away.

“I…” He exhales, glancing towards the living room. “Do you wanna get out of here?”

You nod so fast, you nearly hit your head on his chin. “Yes.”

“Okay.” Seokjin reaches down, grabbing your hand. “You good with my place? It’s only a few minutes drive.”

“Yeah,” you answer, following him down the hall. “Roommate?”

“Here. At the party.”

“Good.”

Dragging you into the foyer, Seokjin digs his phone from his pocket. Letting go of your fingers, he shoots a text off to Yoongi, telling him not to come home. He can face the consequences of that later. Shoving his phone in his pocket, Seokjin opens the door.

“Do you have a coat?” he asks, looking at you.

“Nope. You?”

“Nope.” Seokjin shuts the door to the hall and the noise of the party fades. “This way?”

“Sounds good.”

When you move to walk past, Seokjin grabs your hand – he cannot help himself. Pushing you against the wall, he relishes your muffled exclamation of surprise and kisses you fiercely. Thoroughly. The way he has wanted to for so long.

Hands sliding into your hair, Seokjin feels you arch against him. Your hand is on his hip, pulling him closer and Seokjin cannot stop thinking about your hand on other places.

When he finally breaks away, you stare at his lips. “That’s…” You swallow, voice sounding strangled. “Fuck.”

Seokjin grins. “Come on.”

Grabbing you again, he pulls you into the elevator. The entire way down, the air between you is electric. Seokjin shifts his weight and you follow suit. Raising a hand, you rub the back of your neck. Seokjin’s skin prickles when he sees.

When the door dings, opening into the lobby, you suddenly come to life. Newly determined, your hand wraps around his and pulls Seokjin outside. He practically throws his keys at the valet, wondering how on earth he is going to survive the drive home without touching you. Thank god he only had that one drink tonight. It would have been torture to be so close to fucking you and then not.

Startled by the thought, Seokjin realizes the truth of the matter. He is going to see you naked. Whirling to face you, Seokjin blurts, “This isn’t some random thing. You know that, right?”

Surprised, you glance at him. “I – what?”

“This.” Seokjin steps closer and his peripheral, sees the valet hop out of his car. “I really like you, Y/N.”

Staring up at him, you blink. “You do?”

“Of course, I do! You thought I didn’t?”

“I thought you hated me.”

“Of course, not!” Grabbing his keys from the valet, Seokjin opens the passenger door. He waits until you sit before crossing to the driver’s side. “Why would you think that?” he asks, sliding into the seat.

You stare at him incredulously. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“What?” Seokjin pulls out of the driveway. “I’ve liked you for so long! I just didn’t know how to tell you.”

“Uh! Could’ve fooled me.”

“Are you serious? I was such an idiot in front of you! What other explanation is there?”

“That you’re an idiot!” you answer, scowling. “Are you seriously saying that was your idea of flirting?”

“I mean… well, no, but…”

You snort, facing forward. “You’re so bad at this.”

“At what?”

“This!” you insist, gesturing between you.

“Oh, come on! Like you’re Juliet, or something.”

“Who?”

“Juliet! Of Romeo and Juliet!”

“They… Seokjin, they died in the end!” you say incredulously.

“Well, what do I know?” Seokjin makes a sharp right, pulling into his parking lot. “I never finished reading that play, actually – fell asleep a third of the way in. What I’m trying to say is that you’re also shit at this.”

“Oh, really?”

“You said you never wanted to speak to me again,” Seokjin reminds, throwing the car into park.

Hastily, you unbuckle your seatbelt. “I apologized for that.”

“You were the one who said you wanted to be friends!” Seokjin shoves open his door and exits the vehicle.

You exit as well, slamming the door shut. “Well, it seemed like the next logical step!”

“No.” Seokjin strides forward. Caging you against the car, he growls, “The next logical step would’ve been admitting you liked me, too.”

“Too?” You blink, stuck on the word. “So, you admit you like me?”

“Never said I didn’t.”

These last words are muttered against your lips, Seokjin cutting off further retorts with a kiss.

Arching upwards, your hands twine around his neck. Seokjin’s mind stutters, unsure what to think. His brain is a vague mess of swear words and exclamation points when his lips move against yours. It is hard to grasp the fact that you are here, with him and wanting him the same way he wants you.

Breaking apart, Seokjin rests his forehead to yours. “Okay,” he manages. “I know you said you wanted to leave with me. I know you got in my car and drove all the way here. But – because I want to be sure – do you want to come in?”

Breathlessly, you laugh. “Yes.”

“Okay.” Withdrawing, Seokjin takes your hand. “Then, let’s go.”

Climbing the outdoor stairs to reach his apartment, Seokjin pulls the keys from his pocket so he is prepared to enter. He does not check his phone, certain Yoongi has texted him multiple epithets about where he can stick his ass.

Bracing his hip against his door, Seokjin jiggles the key to shove it open. Once you are both inside, Seokjin half-expects you to wrinkle your nose. It is not as if his and Yoongi’s apartment can ever compete with Jimin and Taehyung’s.

You do none of this, though. Stepping inside, you place your purse on the counter and glance around curiously. “You live with that guy from the food court, right?” you ask, turning around. “Yoongi?”

Stepping forward, Seokjin crushes his mouth to yours.

You inhale, the noise caught by his lips when your hands slide up his back. One of your legs curls around his, rubbing your core against the meat of his thigh. Seokjin’s head spins, gripping your ass to push you against the counter. You make a muffled noise, gasping when Seokjin hardens into your crotch.

It is embarrassing how ready he is for you. All it took where a few whispered words about how badly you want him and here he is, rock-hard and on edge. Admittedly, the noises you make are not helping.

“Shit,” Seokjin breathes, kissing down the slope of your neck.

You arch your throat, allowing more access. Your skin tastes of berries and something else – probably a perfume Seokjin does not know the name of. The warm press of your core to his leg leaves Seokjin reeling.

“My room?” he gasps, hand dragging up your side.

Frantic, you nod. “Yes.”

Bending, Seokjin grips your legs and lifts you against him. He stumbles towards his bedroom, realizing too late you are heavier than he thought. Maybe Jungkook was right about adding weight to his reps. Kissing you again, Seokjin staggers into his bedroom and drops you on the bed.

Laughing, you grab your top to yank overhead. There is some skepticism to your gaze, as though you expected him to fall short in carrying you. Seokjin’s ego flames in response. Growling lowly, he rips off his shirt and descends on the bed. Parting your legs, he presses a kiss to your thigh.

“Take off your jeans.” Seokjin looks up.

You blink. “What?”

“I wanna eat you out.” Seokjin cocks a brow. “Or, is that too much?”

“No,” you glower, undoing your buttons. “Go for it.”

As you shimmy your jeans down your legs, Seokjin’s mouth dries at the sight of your panties. He did not imagine them to be lace. He did not imagine them to be quite as revealing as they are. Slowly, Seokjin reaches out to peel these aside. You inhale, arching on the bed. Seeing your pussy like that, laid out before him, he can hardly breathe.

You are wet for him. Theoretically, this makes sense, but Seokjin did not think he could make you wet. Did not think he would ever see you as drenched as you are, the lace in the middle much damper than the rest. Pressing another kiss to your knee, Seokjin inhales and makes his way higher.

Flicking your clit with his tongue, he teases at more. You mewl, curling inwards and Seokjin pushes your legs down. He sucks the length of your folds, getting you good and wet before he returns to your sex. You arch again, pussy clenching even through there is nothing inside you.

Smirking, Seokjin takes pleasure in this fact. Your folds are glistening, ready even though has not touched you yet. He has not even pushed a finger inside that tight, wet cunt of yours. Lowering his head, Seokjin’s tongue curls over your clit. He turns needy, licking until your hands fist in the sheets on either side of your body.

“Seokjin,” you groan. “Please.”

“Please what?”

Seokjin leisurely sucks on your clit, pulling it between his lips. His other hand drifts to your cunt, tracing in circles.

You moan beneath him on the bed, arching to try and push him inside. Seokjin memorizes the visual – the black lace of your bra barely hiding your nipples, hair splayed on his comforter with his hands on your thighs.

“I need more.”

“Yeah?” Seokjin lazily traces your pussy. “Want me to finger you?’

“Fuck, yes.”

“Mm.” Seokjin sucks your clit until you cry out from pleasure. Releasing you gently, he sits back on his heels to rub with his fingers. “I could probably make you come like this, though.”

Reaching underneath your body, you unhook your bra. Seokjin stares in awe at your chest, bared before him. “Probably,” you agree. “But wouldn’t it be more fun to come inside me?”

Seokjin’s teeth grit, the words going straight to his cock. Already, it pulses against the tight fit of his jeans – when he feels how wet you are, Seokjin cannot stop imagining himself inside you. Grabbing your wrist, he brings your hand to his crotch.

You inhale when you feel how hard he is. “You’re so… big,” you murmur. “Will you even fit?’

Seokjin smirks, bending until his lips cover yours. “Not yet,” he agrees, spreading your legs with one hand. Stroking your center, he wets himself with your arousal. “That’s why I gotta stretch you out first. Get you ready for this dick.”

“O-h,” you gasp, mouth a perfect o as Seokjin’s finger pushes inside.

It is a tight stretch. Seokjin feels a bit light-headed, imagining something so tight and wet wrapped around him. Withdrawing, he pushes a finger inside you again. Rolling your hips, you force Seokjin deeper and he clicks his tongue, hand grabbing your waist.

“You don’t get to be in control,” he instructs, finger sliding back out. Adding another one, he slowly fucks you again. “You just have to lie there and take it.”

“Good,” you breathe, two of his fingers inside you. “Finally. I’ve been wanting you to yank my panties down and fuck me for weeks now.”

Seokjin’s jaw clenches – shaking his head, he is certain he must have misheard. “What?”

A smile curls your lips. “You heard me,” you say sweetly, pussy squelching as Seokjin’s fingers slide in and out. “You’re so hot when you’re mad. Why do you think I teased you so much? Wanted your dick in my mouth to shut me up.”

Heat blazes through Seokjin’s veins. He has never been this turned on in his life – hearing such sinful things from your angelic lips. Sitting back on his heels, Seokjin frantically undoes his jeans.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he mutters, pushing them past his ass.

Yanking out his cock, Seokjin wraps a hand around his girth. He rubs himself roughly, ignoring the pre-cum dripping from his reddened tip. Already, he is steeling himself to not come inside you. Pushing yourself up on your elbows, you watch him touching himself, lips parted in awe. Seokjin stares back, realizing you are as tuned on by him as he is by you.

Your gaze darts to his face. “Condom?” you ask, voice unsteady. “I don’t think I’ll last long once you’re inside me.”

Nodding, Seokjin grabs one from his drawer. Ripping open the packet, he rolls this on. Lowering an arm to the bed, Seokjin positions his cock at your core. As badly as he wants to be inside you, there is something so tantalizing about teasing. Spreading your legs, Seokjin rubs his cock to your clit and watches you twitch in response.

“Seokjin,” you groan, arms sliding around his neck.

“Yeah?”

“Need you to fuck me so good,” you whine.

“Yeah?” Cock at your entrance, Seokjin slowly pushes inside. “Like that?”

“Mhmm.” You nod, breath hitching slightly. “Like that.”

“There?” Seokjin pushes in a bit more, moaning when your walls flutter around him.

You are squeezing him so fucking tight, Seokjin wonders how much more you can take. He is aware of the fact he is big. It would not be the first time a girl could not take him; would not be the first time he gave up and ate the girl out until she came.

“No!” Eyes flying open, you grab Seokjin’s wrist when he starts to withdraw. Lips parted, you stare at him in a daze. “Please keep going,” you beg. “Don’t wanna stop.”

Seokjin arches a brow. “You sure? Sure it feels good?”

“Good?” You stare at him with a fucked-out expression. “Oh my god.” Wrapping both legs around his waist, you push Seokjin in deeper. “You’re stretching me so good, baby. Can’t wait until you’re pounding this pussy.”

“Fuck,” Seokjin hisses, gaze darkening. “I think I somehow got harder.”

“I know,” you laugh, somewhat dreamily. “Felt your cock twitch inside me. So fucking hot.”

Seokjin continues to ease inside you, inch by inch until your eyes start to water. Biting down on your lip, you urge him on and before long, Seokjin bottoms out. He stops there, panting at the feeling of being so deep inside you. Glancing down, Seokjin sees your pussy split by his cock and cannot contain himself any longer. He slowly pulls out.

“What…” Grasping for his ass, you panic a bit. “Seokjin, don’t –”

Grabbing your knee, he slams back inside you. The two of you groan at the same time. Him, because he has never felt anything as tight and wet as your cunt and you because his dick is so large, your body is trembling.

“God.” You fall back on the bed, chest bouncing. “I fucking knew you were big. There was no other way you could be so annoying.”

Seokjin withdraws, reliving the sweet sensation of thrusting his cock in your tight pussy. You are so warm and so wet – now that you have been stretched, you mold easily to him.

“Fuck,” you gasp, lifting your hips to his.

Seokjin toys with you. Slowly sliding in and out, he brings his thumb to your clit and starts rubbing. “You thought I was annoying, huh?” he breathes, lips hot in your ear.

Nodding, your hands fist in the sheets. “Still do.”

Chuckling, Seokjin captures your lobe with his teeth. His hips roll against you, pressing you into the mattress. “Mm. Know what I think?”

“What?”

“You talk too much. Flip over.”

Your eyes widen. “W-what?”

“Thought you wanted me to shut you up?” Seokjin presses a sweet kiss to your mouth. “Now, flip over, so I can fuck you senseless.”

Withdrawing, he ignores every inch of him which screams to stay put. It is worth it though, when you finally flip onto your stomach and stick your ass in the air.

Inhaling, Seokjin runs a hand up your drenched pussy. Your lips are swollen, messy with slick from him eating you out. Lifting himself onto his knees, Seokjin grabs his dick and pushes against your center. Slapping your clit a few times, he hisses when he feels you tremble beneath him. Hands soft on your hips, he slides into your cunt.

“Ah!” you gasp, head thrown back from the motion.

Wrapping your hair around his wrist, Seokjin thrusts into you again. He can feel every inch of your cunt, feel the tight squeeze of your walls on his cock. God, you are driving him crazy. Thrusting harder, Seokjin cannot separate the sensations before him.

Your ass pushing back on him, the way your moans fall from your lips. The tight wetness of your heat, his cock disappearing in and out. Leaning down, Seokjin slides an arm around your ribcage and pulls you against him.

He continues to fuck you like that, cock entering your body at a punishing speed. You feel so good pressed against him, nipples hard as they peek through his palms. Seokjin’s lips find your neck, sucking a hickey into your skin.

“Fuck,” you groan, walls tightening around him. Your bodies bang together, his cock fucking you open in a way which barely seems decent. “Fuck – Seokjin – yes! Oh my god, yes.’

“Yeah?” His grip tightens around you. “You about to come on my dick, baby?”

“Yes!” you gasp. He is basically holding you up at this point, fucking you senseless. “Oh – oh! I thought… you – mmph – wanted! Me – fuck! Quiet!”

Chuckling, Seokjin slides a hand between your legs. Finding your clit, he begins to rub with his fingers. “Changed my mind,” he grunts. “Wanna hear you scream my name so loud, you wake all my neighbors.”

“S-Seokjin!”

Your legs start to shake, trembling with your impending orgasm and Seokjin is not doing much better. The only thing holding him back is the intense desire to feel you come wrapped around him.

“C’mon,” he groans, angling his hips even deeper. “Wanna feel this tight, little pussy come on my cock. Can you do that, baby? Can you?”

“Yes,” you gasp and then you are coming undone.

Seokjin groans, biting your shoulder when your pussy clamps down. Your orgasm is so intense, Seokjin is surprised he can keep you against him. Pushed over the edge, Seokjin shudders when he lets go and releases into the condom. It goes on for so long, his cock aching as you take every last bit of him.

Slowly, his hand falls and strokes down your side. Lips brushing your neck, Seokjin exhales and gently withdraws. Everything is over-sensitive, each inch of his body buzzing with satisfaction. Tying the condom into a knot, Seokjin tosses this in the garbage and sees you roll out of bed.

His stomach twists. “Where are you going?” he blurts, wincing at how needy he sounds.

It is only – you look so fucking beautiful. Hair messy and lips swollen, traces of arousal lingering on the inside of your thighs. You smile at him, as if sensing his nervousness.

“Where’s your bathroom?” you ask, sheepish.

Seokjin exhales, relief coursing through him. He points to the left. “Over there,” he says, collapsing on top of the sheets. His dick is limp, soft in his lap, but looking at you, Seokjin is already thinking about more. “Want me to show you?”

“That’s alright,” you laugh, turning around. “I think I can make it to the closet alone.”

Grinning, Seokjin falls back again. “Come back soon.”

“Okay.”

Glancing at him over your shoulder, you sneak another peek before disappearing.

Seokjin stares at his ceiling for a moment before he remembers his roommate. Wincing, he reaches down to fish his phone from his jeans. Unsurprisingly, there are several missed texts from Yoongi.

Yoongi: k lol [11:01 PM]

Yoongi doesn’t matter won’t be sleeping anyways [11:01 PM]

Yoongi: too busy eating dessert ; ) [11:01 PM]

Groaning, Seokjin plugs his phone into his charger. He guesses this means Yoongi found someone else to hook up with. Rolling over in bed, Seokjin starts when you open the door.

“Hey.” You smile, almost embarrassed. Walking towards him, you bend to scoop your underwear from the ground.

“Whoa!” Seokjin blurts, grabbing your wrist. He pulls you into the bed before you can get dressed. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Putting on clothes,” you laugh, curling into his side. “Clearly, I was wrong.”

“Mhm.” Seokjin’s nose nuzzles your hair. He is not sure why, but something about this feels right. Having your limbs entwined in his, your hand resting soft on his chest. He feels warm, satisfied by the thought of being near you.

Sleepily, you smile. “I’m not allowed to get dressed tonight, is that it?”

“Nope,” he agrees, heart soaring the longer he looks at you. “Something that good needs repeating.”

Laughing a little, you curl tighter around him. “Does that mean you want to repeat it?” you ask, uncertainty to your voice.

Sliding two fingers under your chin, Seokjin tilts your head up. “Yeah,” he says, quiet. “I can’t think of anything I want more, to be honest.”

“I – same.”

Laying your head on his chest, you are quiet for a moment as Seokjin basks in the silence. Then, he exhales and adds, “I mean, aside from trouncing your sales targets, of course. I always want to do that.”

You snort, shoving his side. Seokjin pulls you in closer, grinning widely. It is a lie, of course – right now, there is nothing he wants more than to be with you.

[ COLLABORATION MASTERLIST FOUND HERE ]

© kpopfanfictrash, 2019. Do not copy or repost without permission.

[bobbystompy]

91 Quotes I Enjoyed From 2020

Below are my favorite quotes from 2020. Though most occurred throughout the year, some took place before but were encountered during.

1) “You don’t have to be new to make new.” - Rick Rubin

2) “He put the beat on and go to sleep then wake up with a verse.” - The Lox

3) “Every opinion is bad.” - Blink-155

4)

(via Twitter)

5) “At the start of every disaster movie, there’s a scientist being ignored.”

6) “Be brave enough to suck at something new.”

7) “Comedy is the only job you can have where you can use everything you know” - Robin Williams via Dave Chappelle

8) “What’s the worst swear word where you live?” - Josiah Hughes

9) “Cookies are a really great way to get everybody to like you for a short period of time” - YSAC

10) “The worst dancer at a wedding is the one who’s not dancing.” - John Mulaney

11) “I never saw the end of the tunnel. I only saw myself running out of one." - Kobe Bryant

12) "A good movie begins as you're walking out of the theater" - Ethan Hawke

13) “When I was young and starting in cinema, there was a saying that I carved deep into my heart which is, 'The most personal is the most creative.’ That quote was from our great Martin Scorsese.” - Bong Joon-ho

14) “Run to the rescue with love, and peace will follow” - River Phoenix via Joaquin Phoenix

15) “Thank you -- I will drink until next morning.” - Bong Joon-ho

16) “Men will bury their emotions for decades and then take it all out on children tubing while they drive the boat.” - @krauter_

17) “They help you with the dumb face stuff, but they don’t tell you how to fix it” - Adam (Nate’s friend), on having older sisters

18) “We all had our connections, but it’s not the details themselves that matter, it’s the feeling behind them. There are a million coming-of-age tales. Lady Bird’s secret sauce is how deeply its creator gave a shit. The older I get, the less I care about anything but the sense of a filmmaker’s personal connection to the material. It doesn’t matter what it’s about, what genre it is, or whether it’s genre at all. I only really care that it feels like something the filmmaker had to tell me, and that it was that filmmaker in particular who had to tell it. It has to answer the ‘why are you telling me this’ question, and not just why are you telling me, but why are you telling me.

Lady Bird is a movie that feels like only Greta Gerwig could’ve made. And it’s only because it’s so specific to her that it can be so meaningful to so many people.” - Vince Mancini

19) "I have cast some lonely votes, fought some lonely fights, mounted some lonely campaigns. But I do not feel lonely now.” - Bernie Sanders

20) “Ever hear a Beatles song you haven’t heard before?”

21) “Drinking is an emotional thing. It joggles you out of the standardism of everyday life, out of everything being the same. It yanks you out of your body and your mind and throws you against the wall. I have the feeling that drinking is a form of suicide where you're allowed to return to life and begin all over the next day. It's like killing yourself, and then you're reborn. I guess I've lived about ten or fifteen thousand lives now.” - Charles Bukowski

22) “You shouldn’t have to hear a band to know if they’re good or not” - Josiah Hughes

23) “I was raised by OGs.  Some of you were raised by IG.  I understand.” - Ice-T

* * *

[Here is where I note the line of demarcation that was the COVID-19 pandemic hitting the US, pushed forward by Tom Hanks’ announcement, the NBA and NCAA shutting down, and, then, the nation itself.]

* * *

24) “There are decades where nothing happens, and there are weeks where decades happen.” - Vladimir Lenin

25) "Taken together, this is a massive failure in leadership that stems from a massive defect in character. Trump is such a habitual liar that he is incapable of being honest, even when being honest would serve his interests. He is so impulsive, shortsighted, and undisciplined that he is unable to plan or even think beyond the moment. He is such a divisive and polarizing figure that he long ago lost the ability to unite the nation under any circumstances and for any cause. And he is so narcissistic and unreflective that he is completely incapable of learning from his mistakes. The president’s disordered personality makes him as ill-equipped to deal with a crisis as any president has ever been. With few exceptions, what Trump has said is not just useless; it is downright injurious." - Peter Wehner

26) "Epidemics have a way of revealing underlying truths about the societies they impact." - Anne Applebaum

27) “A funny thing about quarantining is hearing your partner in full work mode for the first time. Like, I’m married to a ‘let’s circle back’ guy — who knew?” - Laura Norkin

28) 

(Jojo Rabbit)

29) “The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. - Deadwood: The Movie

30) “All bleeding stops eventually.” - Deadwood: The Movie

31) “Our Father, which art in heaven… / Let him fucking stay there” - Deadwood: The Movie

32) “It’s like a power outage, but we still have power” - Ryen Russillo, on the pandemic

33) “Whenever Sox baseball returns, it’ll be weird to not have Farmer on the call any more. The relationship between a fan and longtime announcer is always built in the little moments. One afternoon, he’s the soundtrack as you clean the garage. On another night, he’s your bookmark for the game as you stand in line for churros or walk down the ramps at Sox Park to try for better seats in the 100 level. A voice like Farmer’s becomes so familiar that you only really notice when it’s no longer there.” - Kevin Kaduk, on the passing of Ed Farmer

34) 

(via Twitter)

35) “In my songs, I try to look through someone else’s eyes, and I want to give the audience a feeling more than a message” - John Prine

36) “Observe everything. Admire nothing.” - Generation Kill

37) “Trump, by that definition, has always been a wartime president -- always willing to sacrifice people he doesn’t know to things he only sort of cares about” - David Roth

38) "Whenever they speak Michael Jordan, they should speak Scottie Pippen." - Michael Jordan

39) "Fiction is a bridge to the truth that journalism can't reach." - Hunter S. Thompson

40) “Airlines sending me “we’re in this together” emails. When my suitcase was 52 pounds I was on my own.” - Mike Dentale

41) “Sometimes you can be the worst source of your own story” - Ryen Russillo

42) “Family is not necessarily blood, but instead who you would bleed for.”

43)

(via Twitter)

44) "This is the deal that Jordan made, knowingly or unknowingly — that he would trade everything he had for everything he wanted. And then, when he won all those things, he found that he had nothing but that.” - David Roth

45) “I’m brand loyal, but the brand doesn’t matter” - Caitie Miller, on why she doesn’t like generic peanut butter

46) “NOBODY shitposts Gene Hackman!!” - Mark Dehlinger

47) “When a man concludes that any stick is good enough to beat his foe with—that is when he picks up a boomerang.” - G.K. Chesterton

48) “You can be appalled forever, but shocked only once.” - Jeff Weiss, on early Eminem

49) “Whether I’m pessimistic or optimistic, the fight’s the same” - David Simon

50) “Freedom can never be completely won, but it can be lost.” - Bernard Simon

51) “Racism in America is like dust in the air. It seems invisible — even if you’re choking on it — until you let the sun in. Then you see it’s everywhere. As long as we keep shining that light, we have a chance of cleaning it wherever it lands.” -Kareem Abdul Jabbar

52) “In a racist society, it is not enough to be non-racist -- we must be anti-racist.” - Angela Davis

53) “Start as close to the end as possible” - Kurt Vonnegut, on creative writing

54) “You can’t stay woke all the time — that’s insomnia.” - Dr. Cornel West

55) “No, I get it. I’ve dated a lot of Geminis.”

56) “The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.” - John Krakauer, Into The Wild (via Tyler Keller)

57) "I couldn't show them my For You because it's pretty much just lesbian stuff and depression memes" - Maggie Loesch, on showing TikTok to her coworkers

58) "It's 1 a.m. in Slovakia and I've already had one bottle of wine and I don't know how long this press conference will go, so good luck to me." - Marian Hossa, following his NHL Hall of Fame announcement

59) “All I want in life is to go on an Anguilla group trip” - Mandy Gilkes

60) “You miss old friends when you don’t see them, but you miss them more when you do.” - Chuck Klosterman

61) “The only way to appreciate the present is to pretend it’s already the past.” - Chuck Klosterman

62) Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth, oh, never mind You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth Until they've faded, but trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back At photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now How much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked

(”Everybody's Free [To Wear Sunscreen]”)

Second time that essay’s been quoted on this list.

64) "I mean, it's just human nature to suck up to the people above you, crap on those beneath you, and undercut your equals” - Brian, Family Guy

65) “You never quit a job. You quit a manager.” - Brian Bedford

66) “All the pictures in my house are of people I’m not friends with” - Tracy Cunningham

67) “In order to leave something behind, you have to leave.” - Dr. Herman, Grey’s Anatomy

68) 

(via Twitter)

69) “You can obsess about death if you don’t have to obsess about dying.” - Brendan Kelly via “White Noise”

70) “If it’s right to do, it’s wrong to wait.” - Andy, doorman 

71)

72) “When I'm sometimes asked when will there be enough [women on the Supreme Court] and I say, 'When there are nine,' people are shocked. But there'd been nine men, and nobody's ever raised a question about that.” - Ruth Bader Ginsburg

73) "America is mostly people who’ve never left their state saying we have the best country in the world." - Billy Wayne Davis

74) “A writer is someone who knows at least 80% of their writing sucks.” - Gabe Hudson

75) 

(via Twitter)

76) “You’re dead twice” - Brendan Kelly

77) “Perfect is the enemy of good” - Voltaire (via Zach Lowe)

78) “I don’t want to be a savior, I want to be a mirror.” - Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

79) “I get bad Twitter FOMO but not real life FOMO. That just goes to show I need to get off the Internet.” - Josh Thomas

80) “Is there anything you love in life that you engage with seriously that you don't also engage with humor?" - Sam Sutherland, on his relationship with Blink-182

81) “My favorite genre of music is my friends' bands" - Josiah Hughes

82) “Let’s fall in love like both our parents aren’t divorced.”

83) “Seabiscuit may be the only earthling that was on both sides of the stamp.” - Brendan Kelly

84) “There’s no shame in coming in second, except in, like, wars.” - Family Guy

85) “I feel like I experience writer’s block 100% of the time, and when I do write, I have impostor syndrome.” - Phoebe Bridgers

86) “We teach based on what we most need to learn.” - psychologist on Grey’s Anatomy

87) “Having too many choices is the leading cause of stress” - Grey’s Anatomy

88) “I think we've all gravely underestimated the extent to which this year has changed all of us, permanently” - Kelli Maria Korducki

89) 

(via Twitter)

90) “I wonder if people understand why they don’t have polio” - Sandra E. Garcia

91) “Ending songs is terrible, so let’s keep singing” - Dave Hernandez

[let-it-raines]

BotB prompt: After the last chapter, I’m definitely going to need a flashback to when Emma told Killian that she was pregnant. Please and thank you!!

@onceuponaprincessworld: After that prompt in botb I would love to see how Killian has to travel for work to promote a movie and Emma finds out that she is pregnant or already know it and how they deal with the distance in that plan. Thank you!

It’s funny because before I got your prompt @onceuponaprincessworld I already had this prompt written this way, so great minds must think alike😘

AO3: Beginning | Current

Tumblr: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22 | Part 23 | Part 24 | Part 25 | Part 26 | Part 27 | Part 28 | Part 29 | Part 30

-/-

When Emma wakes up, her neck aches, some of the muscles very obviously pulled, and tentatively, she stretches out a bit, lifting her head off of her pillow and reaching over to her left to feel the cold sheets next to her. It’s a habit, one that she isn’t really fond of, but she does it nearly every morning. It’s almost like she’s forgotten that Killian isn’t home, forgotten that he’s not going to be next to her when she wakes up in the mornings. For at least those first fifteen seconds of waking, the light coming back to her eyes, she thinks that she’s going to see the rise and fall of his chest, the soft smile that graces his lips when he sleeps, the long, dark lashes landing against his cheeks.

But he’s not there.

And she knows she’s being dramatic. She really does. Going into this relationship, she never quite knew what to expect, but once she was in, she was all in. And if being in meant having to be separated from her husband so that he could be happy with his career, she was fine with that. She is fine with that.

It doesn’t mean she doesn’t miss Killian.

He’s her best friend, the person she trusts most in life, and he’s currently in Prague filming. Prague is decidedly not Santa Monica, and she wishes it was.

Two more weeks.

She can wait two more weeks until he’s home for a long, long time, and then she is not letting him out of her sight for, like, a month. She has work. He has obligations. They have friends and family. That’s never going to happen, but she can at least have him all to herself for a weekend. They deserve that.

For all the talking and video chatting they can do, there’s nothing quite like being able to feel the strength and warmth of his arms around her before she goes to bed or in the evenings when they’re cooking dinner and Killian tries to distract her by running his lips across her jaw and coaxing her out of making whatever it is that she’s making…as if she’s the one who makes dinner most often when that’s usually Killian.

So two more weeks.

They can do two more weeks.

After running her hand over the sheets and the comforter one more time, she rolls over to her nightstand to unplug her phone, turning the brightness down, and pressing her thumb down to open up her notifications.

Ruby: What was the nail polish that I let you borrow? I can’t remember the name, and Dorothy wants to use it.

Mary Margaret: Do you have any time off this month? I was thinking about the boys and I coming to visit?

David: lol.

She fires off responses to all of them except for David’s text, not having anything else to add to him laughing at a joke about detectives that she sent him last night while she was wide awake and he was fast asleep. Half of the people she talks to are in different time zones, and it can get the tiniest bit confusing.

Seriously. Killian is nine hours ahead of her.

Killian: Good morning, darling. I hope you slept well. I have a pretty normal filming schedule today, so I’ll call you before I go to bed, yeah? I love you.

Emma: I love you too. I hope you’re having a good day!

Turning some music on her phone and connecting it to the speakers installed throughout the house, she slowly climbs out of bed, her head a bit groggy this morning, and tries to make quick work of taking a shower. But she stays under the warm spray for much longer than she should, letting the water work out the aches in her shoulders and the still tense pinch in her neck. Damn, did she sleep on it wrong. Obviously her bed is not her friend lately, and that’s her favorite place in the world.

Talk about betrayal.

Eventually she turns the water off and gets out of the shower, moving the soft towel over her legs and her body before grabbing another one and wrapping her hair on top of her head. She has absolutely no idea where her robe is, probably in the laundry room somewhere, so she grabs Killian’s off of his hook and wraps it around her, tying it at the waist to combat some of the chill from the air conditioning blowing on full blast. She doesn’t even want to think about their power bill for this month, but honestly, it’s worth it for how warm it’s been this summer.

Seriously. It’s been miserably hot. She misses winter, which is something she never would have said living in Boston.

(She misses Boston too, but this move was the right decision. She doesn’t regret it.)

After brushing her teeth and washing her face, she grabs her phone and walks downstairs, opening the curtains and blinds as she goes to let in some natural light, the sound of the ocean coming through the open back doors that lead out to the deck. She’s not really feeling like eating, but she knows that she needs to. She’ll forget otherwise, and then when she goes to Liam and Elsa’s for dinner tonight, she’ll go through their entire pantry, which is much less acceptable to do than gorging out on her own food. But nothing seems good, the cereal and bagels unappealing, the eggs and anything she has to cook even more so, and the only thing that she will even consider is a grapefruit…which may or may not be rotting.

It’s fine. She’ll go grocery shopping tomorrow…and also pick up all of the clothes and glasses that she has scattered throughout the house. It’s not that messy, something she’s worked on since messes drive Killian crazy, but if she knows her husband at all, he’ll come home, take her to bed, and then wake up to go and clean the house. So obviously she needs to clean up a little bit more, maybe break out a duster.

Dusting is the worst.

This view of the beach, though, is the best.

She and Killian have found that most of their time since they moved back (well, since Killian moved back and she moved for the first time) has been spent out on the covered deck or in their bedroom with the doors leading out to the balcony wide open. The sound of the ocean is a background noise she always wants, so she turns off the music on her phone, the guitars fading from the speakers, and sits on the cushioned swing, slightly swaying back and forth while she sips on her water and watches the shoreline. Their neighbor has her dog running through the water, the golden retriever leaping into the air to catch its toy, and Emma wonders if they should get a pet. She’s not sure how that would work during the times when they’re both gone, but it’d probably be nice to have a dog or a cat around when it’s just her, at least so there’s more noise than the air conditioning and the televisions that she leaves on at night.

But then again, Killian is coming home soon and she’ll have no need to replace him with a cat.

Wait. That sounds weird. She’s not replacing him with a cat, though they probably have the same amount of hair.

Whatever. She’ll think about it and bring it up with Killian sometime soon.

Her phone dings next to her, and she looks down expecting a text back from Killian or Mary Margaret only to see a notification that makes her stop breathing.

Seriously. Her breath hitches, her stomach rolls, and her mind starts running a marathon when she hasn’t gotten the chance to even lace up her sneakers.

You haven’t tracked your period lately! Make sure to update all information so we can monitor your cycles as accurately as possible.

Holy shit.

Holy shit.

Holy freaking shit.

(Why did she just censor herself in the middle of a curse?)

While her heart decides to drop to her stomach and beat at what has to be an unhealthy amount of beats per minute, she clumsily attempts to unlock her phone, her thumb not being recognized so that she has to type in her wedding date for her screen to open up to her period tracker app. Her mind is so frazzled that nothing is really clear to her, not even the screen in front of her, and it’s because she’s trying to remember the last time she had her period. Her app says she hasn’t logged it since May, which means she didn’t do that in June or when her period was supposed to start two days ago.

And that’s fine. It really is. Two days is nothing. Two days is barely anything. And so what that she didn’t track anything last month. It’s an app. She forgot. Plus, she very well could have had her period last month without typing it into her phone. That’s possible. Not everything has to be logged into her phone to be real.

But did she have her period?

She honestly can’t remember. And it’s not like she can ask Killian. He hasn’t been here. He’s been thousands of miles away.

Shit.

Killian totally would have noticed, and he definitely can’t help her figure this out. Because she definitely can’t tell Killian that she’s trying to figure out if she missed her period…which means she’s trying to figure out if she’s –

Pregnant.

Well, there’s a word that she didn’t think she’d be thinking for a solid few months, maybe a year. Maybe even two.

Woah.

It’s not that they haven’t talked about it. They have. Killian is very big on talking things out even when she isn’t quite ready. They’ve talked about kids before, talked about the fact that they both want one, maybe two if the first one doesn’t kill them, but then back in March they’d been sitting in bed sharing a bag of chips while watching Stranger Things and Killian brought it up. It made sense. It really did. It’d been a gradually growing conversation, the lead up building, but when her face was stuffed with several salt and vinegar chips, she wasn’t really expecting to have to talk about the reality of what it would be like to have a baby and know that there’s the possibility of her having to raise the baby by herself if Killian is away. And then also how that can impact their future, impact their kid’s future. She knows that Killian wants to work less, or work closer to home more frequently, once they start their family, and that’s something they were talking about.

They were talking about trying when he got home.

It might be a little late for that.

Or early, really. She could be ahead of the game.

When in the world did she miss a pill?

Taking a deep breath, she tries to turn her mind off but can’t. She really is ahead of herself. She has no idea if she’s even pregnant yet, and she needs to take a test. But she most definitely does not want to take a test by herself, does not want to be sitting in the bathroom all alone when she finds out if her jeans aren’t about to fit in a few months (because that’s obviously the most important thing) and have no one know this secret but her, so she needs to shut this thought process down until Killian gets home.

Two weeks.

She can do two weeks.

By the time two o’clock rolls around, she’s spent the entire morning deep cleaning the house, deciding to take her worries and frustrations out on the things she needs to do, and she almost completely forgets that she could have an entire human being inside of her uterus.

(She’s a liar. She definitely doesn’t come anywhere near to forgetting.)

But then her phone rings, Killian’s face popping up on the screen from his contact, and she nearly vomits with nerves over the fact that she’s about to not tell him the reason she’s having a meltdown.

The vomiting thing is probably a sign, which is really a horrible symptom, and there should definitely be some kind of solution to that.

“Hello, beautiful,” Killian sighs, and she can practically feel his smile on the other end of the line, thousands of miles away in a hotel bed that’s not theirs. “How’s your Saturday?”

“It’s good.” That may be a lie. That may be the truth. She has no idea. “I slept in, cleaned a bit. I’m going to go to your brother’s for dinner later.”

“Emma Jones, you cleaned?” he gasps, and she rolls her eyes imagining him sitting shirtless in his room with his hand dramatically thrown over his heart. “Are you dying? Is there something you need to tell me?”

“No,” she blurts out, definitely too quickly before she scrambles to cover that up, “I just knew that if I didn’t clean now, I’d never have it up to your standards by the time you got home.”

“Love, all I care about when I get home is the fact that you’re going to be there.”

“Charmer.”

“Undoubtedly.”

“You’re definitely going to care about how clean the house is.”

“Eh.”

“Babe.”

“Love of my life.”

“Oh my God,” she groans, tossing the wipe she was cleaning the bookshelves with in the bin and walking toward the couch, falling back against the cushions and turning the phone on speaker before placing it on her chest, “you can’t just say things like that.”

“I can’t say the truth?”

“Not when you know you’re going to get me all flustered with it.”

“To be fair, love, you already seemed pretty flustered. You are cleaning, after all.”

“Hey, again. I clean.”

“Debatable.”

“KJ, I can change the locks on the house.”

“There’s always the windows. Hell, I’ll climb the damn balcony.”

She laughs despite herself and reaches down to tug at the robe she’s still wearing, pulling on the string before running her hand over her stomach, almost unconsciously. The words are on the tip of her tongue ready to be spilled, but she doesn’t know. She doesn’t know if she’s right, if the words are true, but the one thing that she does know is that if she tells Killian she thinks she’s pregnant now, he won’t stop worrying about her until his feet step inside of this house.

And there’s still the fact that she doesn’t want to take the test alone.

Pushing it all aside. That’s what she’s going to do.

“You’ll climb the balcony to get to me?” she asks instead, going along with the conversation.

“I’ll climb the balcony to get to my bed. If you happen to be in it, so be it.”

“There you go charming me again.”

“I try.”

She and Killian talk until his words are a little slurred, sleep calling him more than she is, so she tells him goodbye and that she loves him, chanting that two more weeks mantra to him before she, too, falls asleep, waking hours later with pillow marks on her face and her phone flashing five seventeen, a little under an hour until she’s supposed to be at Liam’s.

She hasn’t even put on underwear yet. That’s probably something she should do. They’re family, but there are some things that family does not need to see. Her vagina is one of those.

Her thoughts get weirder every day.

Thirty minutes later she’s dressed in a pair of athletic shorts and a t-shirt, her hair underneath a baseball hat, and letting herself into Elsa’s house after knocking on the door, which is really only a courtesy since Liam tends to barge into their house…still. After one too many times walking in on she and Killian, she really figured he’d learn to wait for them to answer the door.

“Hey,” Elsa calls over her shoulder when Emma walks into the kitchen, “how are you?”

“Um, good,” she mumbles, sitting down at a barstool and tapping her fingers against the countertop, wishing she had something to settle her stomach and all of the unease that she’s going through. Her mind will not calm down, and she really needs to calm down. “How are you?”

“Great. It’s so hot, isn’t it? Liam is outside on the playset with Aiden, and they’re both going to be drenched when they come in. But Aiden insisted, you know?”

“Yeah.”

She taps her fingers again, thinking about Aiden and Liam and the bond that they have. If she and Killian have a son, will they have a bond like Aiden and Liam? Would it even matter if it was a boy? Killian would have a bond with a daughter too. So would she. But there’s something so cute about watching Liam with Aiden even if Aiden is the spitting image of Elsa.

Genetics and all that.

How would that work for her kid?

Her hypothetical kid.

“Emma?”

“Uh huh?”

“You want to stop playing an entire piano concert on my counter and tell me what’s going on in that head of yours?”

“There’s nothing,” she lies, her voice a squeak as she looks up at Elsa and smiles, hoping that it’s a normal smile. “I have nothing on my mind except for how good that pasta smells. And the bread. I love your garlic bread.”

Elsa raises a perfectly groomed brow and flicks her braid over her shoulder, leaning forward and propping her elbows up on the island. “Emma, you can talk to me. You know that, right? You’re kind of going through a lot right now, and you can’t pretend that you’re not. You stay with us too often for me to not know how hard Killian being away is for you.”

“I’m fine.”

Elsa nods her head up and down once, twice, three times before tilting it back to her cabinets. “Do you want something to drink? I bought this new wine that I – ”

“No, I’m good,” she blurts out, completely and totally ready to bury her face in this granite. “I’ve got to drive home, and I really don’t think I want anything to drink.”

“Mmm, okay. Do you want to go to lunch this week? I think there’s this really great sushi place downtown that just opened.”

“Sure. I lo – oh, um, can we get something other than sushi? I think I’m going to give up fish.”

“Why?”

“A new diet or whatever. I’ve gained a few pounds.”

Lie.

They’re all lies.

When did she turn into such a bad liar?

“Ah,” Elsa sighs, resting her chin in the palm of her hand, “I get it. I, too, gained weight when I was pregnant. Though, I don’t think it was when I was as early on as you. Maybe you’re having twins.”

Every word that she knows flees from her brain. Every single one. She’s not sure if it’s the thought of her having twins or if Elsa has caught her in her lies, but honestly, it’s mostly the fact that she was caught that quickly.

Damn.

Elsa really is some kind of magical being who can read she and Killian far too well. It’s creepy and wonderful and terrifying all at once.

And she could most definitely cry right now simply because she is feeling all kinds of overwhelmed.

Emma leans forward to rest her face in her hands on the countertop, the cool marble refreshing. “How did you know?” she mumbles into her skin. “I don’t even know for sure.”

“It was a guess, but the no to wine and no to sushi, two things that you love, were a pretty big clue. Plus, you’re acting like a strung-out maniac.” She feels Elsa’s hand on her back, and when she opens her eyes, she can see that she’s moved to the other side of the counter to sit on the barstool next to her. “Have you taken a test?”

“I just realized I’d missed my period today. And I may have missed last month’s too. But, like, I haven’t been nauseous or anything, so I didn’t think about it. I honestly figured it was stress related.”

Elsa nods her head up and down, a soft smile on her face as she continues to rub Emma’s back. “I have some tests upstairs – no, I am not pregnant, but I had a scare a few weeks ago and bought, like, every test in the CVS I went to. Why don’t you go take one, just so you have a bit more peace of mind about it? And then when Killian comes home, you’ll either have some really great news to share or you can tell him about the time that you peed on a stick in his brother’s house with absolutely no context.”

She huffs, unable to stop herself or the twisting feeling inside of her, before leaning over on the stool and hugging Elsa, wanting all of the comfort and support that she can get since the rest of her support system are scattered across the country.

And the world.

Elsa asks if Emma wants her to come with to take the test, but she says that it’s alright, that she’d kind of like to do this part alone if she can’t have Killian with her. Even opening the box is nerve-wracking, but the worst part is definitely the waiting two minutes to find out if she’s going to be a mom a little bit sooner than she was expecting.

The phrase what to expect when you’re expecting comes to mind, and she feels like that can’t even really encompass everything.

How in the world do people do this every day?

It’s like a mixture of excitement and terror, and the only other place she’s ever felt like this is a rollercoaster.

That’s actually a pretty good metaphor for having a baby.

And according to the positive sign on the test, she is having one.

Wow.

It’s a lot to take in, but over the next two weeks, she becomes more accustomed to the fact. It helps that she makes a doctor’s appointment, gets it confirmed, finds out that her due date is February fifteenth, and that she is definitely not having twins.

She’s been secretly worried about that ever since Elsa made the joke.

That would be…overwhelming.

Mostly, though, as much as she’s gotten used to the idea, gotten excited about the idea, all she’s wanted to do was share it with Killian. And she’s not about to tell him he’s going to be a dad without him being in the same place as her. This is too big of a thing for her not to be able to hug him afterwards.

But he’s in the taxi on the way to the house right now, and she could throw up out of excitement. And the morning sickness that finally hit her, but that’s not what she wants to think about right now.

She’s definitely wearing down a hole into their hardwood from all of her pacing.

Her phone dings with an alert that there’s movement at the gate to the house, and her stomach does this actual swooping thing that should not at all be possible. It very apparently is, though. And while she’s never been a woman to want to run into someone’s arms out of excitement, that’s changed ever since she met Killian. When they were dating and had been apart for awhile, getting to see his face, even if it was for a day, was the greatest day. Now that she’s living apart from her friends, when she gets to go to Boston to see them, she most definitely runs into Ruby’s arms to hug the living daylights out of her. The same with David and Mary Margaret and their kids. And now that Killian’s been gone for months, she pretty much feels like her legs are going to launch her over the fence instead of into his arms.

Who knew it was possible to miss someone this much?

She guesses she did.

Instead of waiting inside like a sane person, she tosses her phone down onto the couch, and quickly walks outside, not even bothering to put shoes on. Her throat closes for a moment when she sees him, her eyes trying to take him in and catalog all of the differences and similarities all at once as he unloads his bags from the back of the car.

“Hey, Jones,” she calls out, running down the steps as he turns around, his hair flipping with the movement.

“Emma,” he laughs, his smile practically taking up his entire face.

God, she missed that smile.

It’s all a blur as she runs forward, her body colliding with his as her arms wrap around his neck and his arms wrap around her shoulders, tugging her closer so that she’s fully pressed against him. He’s solid, just like always, and his heat overwhelms her as she smells the slightest bit of his cologne mixing in with that awful airplane smell that seems to happen whenever anyone so much as steps into an airport.

He’s home.

“I missed you, Swan,” he murmurs into her ear, rubbing his hand up and down her back as he starts trailing his lips along her jawline, electric sparks spreading across every nerve ending that she has, some of them probably twice.

“I missed you, KJ.” She pulls back to look at him, her hands moving up his neck to cup his cheeks, thumbs tracing over his scruff and his freckles and everything as she looks at the blue eyes that she loves so much but has only been able to see through a video screen. And then she presses up on her toes and kisses him, kisses him like a woman who hasn’t been able to kiss her husband in months, a woman starved of the love and compassion that she’s been without for far too long. It’s all like coming to that safe comfort of home, which is perfect since he’s back and everything is in its right place.

“Hey, man, I need you to get your bags so I can go,” the taxi driver calls out at them, the displeasure in his voice obvious, and she and Killian break apart with blush on both of their cheeks.

“Sorry about that,” Killian grumbles, very obviously not too sorry about it, before he turns around to grab his backpack out of the backseat, handing the driver some cash, and closing the trunk before he drives off. “I don’t think that man liked watching you make out with me, Swan.”

“What’s not to like about it?”

“Exactly,” he winks, grabbing her hips and pulling her closer so that he can softly glide his lips over hers, his tongue quickly licking into her mouth in a burst of heat and pleasure before he’s retreating. “Darling, will you grab the black bag? I have no idea how I managed to pack so much stuff.”

“Sounds like a plan, Stan.”

Killian reaches forward and slaps her ass, making her jump. “I missed that idiotic phrase.”

“As you should have.”

She picks up the black bag off the ground as Killian takes his others, the two of them carry them to the front door and placing them inside before Killian closes the front door and pushes her against it, her back hitting the wood as his hand snakes up underneath her shirt, warm flesh against her skin, and his lips start working at her neck, vibrations trembling down her spine.

“I have thought of you every day.” He punctuates each word with a kiss or a teasing of her skin with teeth, and she nearly melts right then and there at the deep rumble of his accent. “I’m not sure if I’m ever going to be able to do something like that again.”

“I love you,” she gasps out as his hand starts to fumble with the waistband of her leggings, yanking them down as heat curls between her thighs. But it’s then that she remembers that she has something kind of big to tell him. How could she possibly forget? “Wait, wait. Killian, wait.”

He pulls back, his head retreating into his neck as his brows raise and his eyes scan her face, typical Killian 101 trying to figure out what exactly is going on with her even as his hands still run across her stomach, itching to go beneath her leggings once more.

“What’s wrong, love?”

“Nothing, nothing,” she promises, swiping her thumb across the apple of his cheek as her stomach does that twisting thing again. She needs it to stop. “It’s just that, well, I’m pregnant.”

It’s not the smoothest way to tell her husband that they’re going to be parents, but when has she even been smooth and graceful and perfect with her words? Never. He blinks a few times, his lashes landing against his cheeks, and when his lips part, she expects some kind of word, but it’s really more of a…squawk? Is that the right word? She has no idea.

“KJ?”

He blinks once more before leaning forward to press his forehead against hers, his nose pressing into her cheek and his lips lightly brushing over hers as he speaks. “You’re pregnant? We’re having a baby?”

“I mean, technically I am the one having a baby, but you helped us get there.”

“Thank goodness I’m the father. I was unsure for a minute.”

“Shut up, you idiot,” she laughs, shoving at his chest to move him away only for him to pull her closer.

“I may be an idiot, but I’m the father of your baby. You can’t change that.”

“This is not how you were supposed to react.”

“How was I supposed to react?”

“I don’t know. With affection or something?”

“Me teasing you about the paternity of our baby isn’t affection?”

“Eh, maybe.”

“If it’s a boy, we should name it Stan.”

She barks out a laugh, her head falling backwards, and everything in her life rights itself. Killian is home, he’s teasing her, and he’s so unbelievably happy that her stomach finally settles.

This is perfect.

“I am not doing that.”

“I was kidding,” he teases, pressing his lips against hers once, twice, three times.

“Were you though?”

“Possibly.” He fumbles around under her shirt until he’s pulling his hand out and grabbing onto her left wrist, brushing his lips on her wrist dot in the way that she’s missed, the romantic fool. “I love you, and this is by far the best welcome home I’ve ever received.”

“I know. I’ll probably never be able to live up to it.”

“You can always try.”

“Eh, too much effort.”

Killian chuckles before kissing her wrist again, holding it to his lips as his eyes close and a soft smile forms on his face. “My love, I will always be happy to see you, both of you.”

-/-

@ultraluckycatnd @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke @wellhellotragic @onceuponaprincessworld @jennjenn615 @mayquita @captainsjedi @teamhook @skyewardolicitycloisdelena91 @branlovesouat @dreadpirateemma @kmomof4 @ekr032-blog-blog  @andiirivera   @superchocovian @cs-forlife @qualitycoffeethings  @notoriouscs @mariakov81  @jonirobinson64  @ultimiflos @idristardis @galaxyzxstark @thejollyroger-writer @lifeinahole27 @bmbbcs4evr

[haurchefantblog]

Shadi'ra Amariyo

1. Shadi's anger is mostly proportionate to the situation. He doesn't like seeing people mistreated though and is sensitive to certain circumstances that make him react w more hostility.

2. Maybe not believe. He hopes? He really hopes there is someone out there for him whether it is a soulmate or not. Someone to ease his loneliness. He thinks it's a nice idea.

3. Bullies. He hates seeing the strong pick on those weaker than they are.

4. His happy place is a memory he made up as a child of his "real family" happy together in a modest home with a strong hearth". It was a thought that soothed him to sleep when he was little and at the "orphanage".

5. Maybe with Moss in LA Noscea. Her family unofficially adopting him. Future will be when Kokho finds him and brings him to his real family. Also when he saved Eorzea and finally felt like he did something right. Like his life mattered after all.

6. He was okay in the South Shroud with his caretaker but he wasn't happy because he didn't feel a sense of belonging. He ran away when he was about 14 and btwn then and meeting Moss when he was 16 were some really awful and rough years for him.

7. Shadi doesn't have money lol. He is generous with his friends but isn't looking to buy anyone's favor. He doesn't like others buying for him. He's been taken advantage of while drunk before so he doesn't trust ppl plying him with alcohol.

8. Before he was a rogue he was a scrapper and lost most fights so he has had fingers/hand broken, arm, and his nose.

9. Sometimes he wants to forget he had a family. It's painful to dwell on. The years in Limsa before he was under Moss' family's protection are also repressed often. I haven't gotten far enough in his story but there are definitely moments post arr that Will wreck his soul.

10. He remembers being about 4. His mother was still alive. He remembers crying and being held against her, and the warmth it brought him. He has not felt it since.

11. Quick to laugh, kind. Someone who doesn't make him feel less than. He's not got very high standards bc he's not been treated very well.

12. His first set of daggers given to him by Jacke when he joined the rogue's guild. Being allowed to join the guild meant the world to him and the daggers remind him of how far he's come but also that feeling of family and acceptance the guild provided for him.

13. His forehead tattoo. He thought it was a skin mark but it's ink and he has no recollection of getting it. He has on several occasion been very close to getting inappropriate tattoos in even more inappropriate locations. Moss' mom/Moss saved him every time.

14. Ear piercings. Tongue piercing. He loves piercings. He wants more.

15. A small humble home with a warm fire and a family that loves him. Preferably on the coast, but close, to a city.

16. He's a good cook. He picks up recipes really easily. He has very good instincts when it comes to timing and spices/portions.

17. Shadi is insecure about giving gifts, bc he never had much to give. He's definitely the type to poorly wrap up some money and call it a day.

18. He's actually really good at stealing and he knows he shouldn't be proud of it but he's so damn dextrous and nimble.

19. "he's weird and kind of annoying crybaby that talks too much"

20. "He's more intuitive than I would have guessed. Too intuitive. He's sharp." "He's a sweet boy with a sensitive heart. Cries a bit too much though" "He's got the makings of a true hero if he can stop holding himself back."

21. You name them he's got them. He's worried he's going to annoy or anger anyone that gets close to him so he kinda unwittingly keeps most at arms length despite desperately wanting connection. He's really worried he is going to end up failing as the WoL and become shunned again. He hates his thing eyebrows and that's why he started having moss draw them in for him.

22. Highest skill stat is probably speed. He had a lot of practice running out of harms way and the rogue’s guild honed that skill. His highest non physical stat is perception. To be honest even he doesn’t realize this but he has good instincts. Also a little bit of luck. His charm is hit or miss tbh. 

23. Depends on the lie. He could brush off smaller lies or white lies, but huge lies, even if they were for his “Safety/protection” it’s like..how could you sit there and look at him and do that to him? It’s more of a matter of character and if he trusts you and you lie, you broke that trust. 

24. Cold. He enjoys the cold. Rain or snow he’s not hugely fond of but he can deal with it. Heat kills him. The second he breaks out into a sweat he’s crying. Another reason he hates Forgotten Springs. 

25. He is bursting to say it but never has, that he can remember. He loves Moss/Moss’s mom. But he never really said the words. He tried to show it with actions. He’s definitely in the “actions speak louder than words” dept wrt that but he’d love to be able to say it. And he will one day ;)

26. He whines and cries all the time about random stuff but he doesn’t really confide in anyone. He confided in Moss but she never really understood the depth of it, which is probably why he did it. She felt safe to tell things to. He’s too insecure to bare himself to other people like that. 

27. Yes. He often doesn’t feel remorse when he’s witness “bad guys” die. When he’s killed in defense or for his work with the Scions. He will be devastated when Nanamo “Dies”. And Haurchefant, and Wilred, and all the people who die who touch him in some way and leave him alone again to deal with the pain of loss. 

28. Yeah under his arms and his ribs he’s super ticklish. 

29. He’s got an average pain tolerance. But he’ll start whining at the slightest pain anyway. 

30. He wishes he could really tell Kan-E Senna what he thinks of her “leadership” and the horrors that his kind has to face in the Shroud on a daily basis because she’s too up her own ass to deal with the ramifications of racism and prejudice in Gridanian society and too “pacifist” do to anything about it anyway. 

31. This boy can act right in polite society but he will need reminding. He’s gonna try and practically absorb his food. He’s a big chomper. 

32. He created this version of his abandonment as a child that his parents willfully abandoned him and left him alone and that’s how he came into the care of Amariyo and her half-baked orphanage. Other than that, he’s confessed a few times and most of them weren’t kind in their rebuffs. Jacke’s rejection was kind but it hurt the most. 

33. It’s not happened yet, but it involves G’raha Tia. :> Also probably Haurchefant taking him into his home after the events of the Feast. 

34. Touch would really suck for him. He’s a tactile person but honestly hearing would probably be really bad for his profession if he lost it. 

35. No he’s awkward and starts asking questions that are way too personal too soon. 

36. He would ask Urianger if he really talks like that or if he uses language as a barrier to separate him from others.

37. He would definitely like to travel to the past to see how he got separated from his parents. 

38. Moss and Jacke. Jacke saw his potential and helped him hone his skills which led him to becoming a Scion and helping take down the Imperials and defend Eorzea. Moss helped him be less lonely at a time when he was utterly alone and had no one. They both defined family for him. Later on, G’raha too will be family to him. The Exarch would probably be the answer later on bc of his influence in the past and then his fucking up his chance to finally beat Zenos. 

39. Shadi never wants to be alone again. No one to depend on and no one to share your life with? He can’t handle it. 

40. Asahi scares the shit out of him. He’s so fucking delusional and twisted he can’t comprehend that level of unhinged. Zenos scares him because the concept of killing is like a fun thing to him and there is something wrong with someone who thinks like that. It’s unnerving. He’s also scared of Raubahn bc he doesn’t want to ever be embarrassed in front of him. Raubahn is his hero. He’s also scared of Yda. She’s too dumb to be a Scion he thinks she must have used some evil spell to put on the Scions he doesn’t understand. She’s clearly a witch or something he steers clear of her. 

[deadg4l]

lessons from past versions of me

1. embrace who you are in your essence and embrace the people around you.

2. take pictures. spend time with your parents and grandparents. they are getting older and lonelier.

3. the small things that you are taking for granted will be the only things you miss as time flies by, because it does fly by.

4. negative only seems so bad because it hurts more than the positive. but make the positive things feel better than the negative. it will take time but do it. practice seeing the bright side in a dark situation

5. spend more time on the one who love you and less time on trying to get someone to love you.

6. that guy you’re stressing over, let him go. he won’t get better with time, he gets worse. the hurt gets worse.

7. give that annoying guy a chance, you know? the cute but lame one that breaks his neck for you. the one that is always there when you need him. the one that doesn’t even give you a reason to cry. he may not be the boy you want but there will come a point when you look back and wish you acted like you had sense. by the time you want him he’ll be gone forever.

8. being mean isn’t cute. having a bad attitude isn’t cute.

9. be nicer to people. don’t let the last time you talk to someone be on bad terms. you can talk to someone at 1:00 PM and at 1:30 PM, 30 minutes later, they can be gone from this earth. never coming back. this happened to me and my heart never felt anything like it, I don’t think I will ever be the same.

10. don’t do people how they do you, it will catch up to you… not them

11. spend more time with the friend that’s always there when you need her, not the ones who are only there when it’s time to party.

12. if your mom tells you that hoe isn’t your friend, that hoe isn’t your friend

13. stop telling those hoes all of your business, they’re telling it to other people when you’re not around. yes, they are.

14. if they want to leave, let them.

15. everything heals mama, everything.

16. there’s a whole world outside of social media, don’t let life pass you by. remember that you can’t get time back. get out into the world and live, you don’t need money to live either. just get out into the world

17. stay away from the person that calls everyone their best friend, sister or brother. they cause trouble in the long run.

18. when you hit rock bottom, because you will, don’t panic. it’s only to show you who is really there for you. pay attention to the people who aren’t there, they don’t love you. guess who’s going to be there? that one ‘lame’ friend. guess who won’t be there? you know.

19. let that boy breathe, you don’t have to be up under him all of the time.

20. stop fighting and being in a mess all of the time. don’t let your bad attitude and pride be the reason you have a felony and can’t even get a real job in the long run. going to be stuck making 9.95 an hour for the rest of your life because of some shit you’re not even going to remember in two years.

21. forgive. forgive. forgive. forgive and move on.

22. learn to be done. not bothered, not mad. just done.

23. peace over chemistry. stop letting that ‘i’ve known them since i was little’ keep you attached to toxic people. the most loyal people in my life i didn’t even know 10 years ago

24. love does not hurt. a lesson will.

25. be more patient.

26. not everything is going to make sense right now, it’s not supposed to.

27. you will get your heart broken a few times. it’s all good. when you’re losing your mind, just remember that we all went through it at one point. not just you

28. there’s going to come a time when you’re going to be like “fuck it, i’m going to be a coldhearted bitch.” when you feel like your kindness is being taken for a weakness. don’t change you. change the people around you. you’re going to miss that sweet girl, trust me.

29. eat healthy. drink hella water.

30. it’s okay to have weak moments, don’t let that moment turn into years though.

31. apologize when you know you’re in the wrong.

32. it’s not always them. sometimes it’s you.

33. you’re going to lose a few people along the way, it’s always the ones you least expect.

34. you’re not as lonely as you think. your soul is just trying to hang onto your innocence by protecting you from bad energies that’s about to change the person you are

35. leave that girls man alone, it’s not okay. karma is a bitch

36. all of that partying, liquor and drugs will catch up to you. stop. learn to have fun without those things, your brain will thank you.

37. your heart means well but it doesn’t always know well. be logical in these times, it’s crucial.

38. if you want something done, do it now. you’re going to blink and years will have gone past

39. tell people you love them every chance you get

40. you’re not who you think you are, life is funny like that

[musiclovingbitch]

Oh I want all of them 1-50!

Fuck. I brought this onto myself. Putting this under a read-more so that people don’t kill me.

1. What was your first fic and could you stand to reread it today?

I don’t think any of you know this but the first fic I ever wrote was a Shameless one-shot that was titled ‘Mine’ and it was just semi-good, semi-bad smut. The first and last fic I ever posted on fanfic.net, actually. I deleted it years ago and didn’t save a copy, so it’s gone forever now…

2. What’s your most recent fic and how far do you think you’ve come?

My most recent fic is Part, written for the 2019 Klaine Advent Challenge, and also the gleepotluckbigbang. I’m fallen majorly behind cause I have some studying to do, so I may take a long while to finish the rest of the klaine advent.

It’s much, much better than Mine was, lol.

3. In your opinion, what’s your best fic?

Oh, that’s so difficult. While I’m not happy with everything I’ve posted, there’s a bunch that have a special place in my heart. Escape came to mind first, partly because I love older!Blaine fics, which is kind of shocking to me cause it’s one of the very first fics I ever wrote, and statistically I tend to like my older fics less.

4. In your opinion and without looking at any numbers, what’s your most popular fic?

I have looked at the numbers before, though not recently, so I have an idea.

I think Escape is the reigning queen right now, actually, but Incapacitated by Love and The Effects of Cookies on Shy Teenagers are gunning for her crown, lol.

5. Is there any fic that makes you super happy to reread and remember you wrote that?

I don’t tend to reread any of my fics, but like I said, there are a few that I love. Escaped and Incapacitated by Love are two of them, along with Together, I Need A Gangsta, and Question.

6. Is there any fic that makes you super embarrassed to reread and remember you wrote that?

Uh, one of the reasons I don’t reread my fics is the cringe factor, so, no. I reread Mine a couple of years after I posted it and it made me delete it, so. I think it’s in everyone’s interest that I don’t.

7. What’s the fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

I don’t write multi-chaptered fics, so, not in that regard, but.

When I first posted I Need A Gangsta, I had a surprisingly large amount of people asking for a sequel. It’s been years since I posted it, but last week I started thinking about it and I have a little bit of inspiration, so. You may wanna look for that in the upcoming months. (I have exams coming up, be patient.)

8. What’s the oldest (longest since last update) fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

Again, I don’t write multi-chaptered fics, but.

I got asked for a sequel to one of the fics I wrote for the 2015 Klaine Advent, Wish, which is inspired by Aladdin. I haven’t gotten around to it yet… *hides in shame*

9. Have you ever written for a fandom without watching/reading/playing the source material?

Nah. I’m not sure if I could. Although, I do usually write AUs, so. I think some of them could fit pretty much any pairing.

10. Have you ever written for a fandom without reading other fanfic for it?

I hadn’t read any Shameless fanfic before writing and posting my own. But I read klaine fanfic for years before I attempted writing it.

11. Have you ever written a fic for a concept you know someone else has done before? How did it impact your writing process or feelings after posting?

Nothing specific comes to mind right now? I do occasionally get inspired by prompts, (and you can all blame @slayediest​ for reblogging them onto my dash) and they obviously get used by a whole bunch of people, but usually inspiration for different fics comes a little more naturally, like I’ll hear a song or whatever. 

I did write a fake dating au and I was nervous about writing it, I took more care than usual if that makes sense, and that was both because it’s such an iconic trope, but also because it was a gift to the delightful @lilyvandersteen​, so I was even more anxious than usual after posting it cause I was waiting to see if she liked it or not.

12. Have you ever written a fic and decided never to publish it? Why?

There are so. many. fics. in my drafts folder, but all but two are unfinished. Those two that are finished but not published I just don’t like very much. I keep them with the intent of re-writing the parts I don’t like and posting them. Eventually, hopefully, I’ll get around to that.

13. What’s the biggest change between your style when you started in fandom and today?

I’m more comfortable writing now than back when I first started, I guess? I was way more hesitant then.

I do write better smut now.

14. What’s the biggest change in your taste between when you started in fandom and today?

Let’s just say I’m into some kinky shit now and it’s definitely because of late nights spent on AO3.

Trope-wise, not much has changed about my preferences.

15. Have you ever purposefully written one fandom/fic idea over another because you knew it’d be more popular?

Nah. I don’t vibe like that. The words don’t come out of me.

16. Have you ever stopped writing a fic/for a fandom because it wasn’t receiving enough attention?

Nope.

17. In your opinion, what’s your most overrated fic?

It’s definitely Closer. I was debating not posting it and it has more hits than it has words, I really don’t get it.

18. What’s your most underrated fic?

I’m not sure. I feel like I’d be nagging if I said, oh hey not enough of you guys read/liked/reblogged this fic of mine. 

People have their preferences. I’m okay with that.

19. If you had to pick one fic/scene/chapter of your work to describe your entire portfolio to a stranger, which would you pick?

Fuck. Maybe Together? It has the mix of intense angst/sappy romance that you’ll find in my fics 100% of the time.

20. Have/Would you ever rewrite a fic? If yes, would you take the original down?

I haven’t, and I don’t think I will. I don’t tend to linger over fics once I’ve posted them.

21. If someone starts kudosing and commenting your fics in a spree and has a few works of their own, would you go look through theirs?

This has happened three times and I loved it every single time. I would definitely check out their profile, yes. 

22. Has there ever been anyone who’s made you freak out because they read your work and followed/favorited/reviewed?

Are you kidding me? Literally all of you, yes. Fandom royalty has read my work, bitches. 

23. What’s the nicest review you’ve ever gotten?

Oh, god. Someone commented that I made them cry, it was the best, it made my entire week.

24. What’s the meanest review you’ve ever gotten? Do you think the reviewer intended it?

I’m very lucky in that aspect, I’ve never gotten hate in regards to my fic. 

I did write a fic where Blaine and Sam were teaching a CPR class that Kurt was in, and at the end, I had Sam interrupt them while they were speaking, and someone left a mean comment about Sam? I smelled fandom wank and did not engage.

25. What constructive criticism, however well-meaning, always makes you feel bad when you see it in a review?

Haven’t gotten any of that.

26. What aspect of your writing do you most enjoy to see praised?

I like making people feel things. If you tell me I made you feel good or bad with my fic, I’m going to be delighted.

27. If you could only ever write crossovers or single-fandom fics ever again, which would you pick?

Single-fandom fics.

28. if you could only ever write for a single crossover or a single fandom again, which would you pick?

Glee, obvi. I’d never give you cuties up.

29. Does the division of your writing across fandoms line up with your reading? What’s the biggest discrepancy?

Well, although I have considered writing for some of my other fandoms, it just hasn’t felt right. That may change in the future, and that’ll be an interesting day.

30. Do you continue to write for a fandom after you’ve moved on or do you focus solely on the new one?

I think klaine has become such an important part of my life that I don’t see myself giving it up entirely.

31. Who’s the one character you’ve just never managed to get perfectly right?

I don’t think I have ever gotten any character perfectly right, but that’s okay. It helps that the majority of my fics are AUs, so I don’t feel a lot of hesitation having them do or say some OOC things.

32. Who’s the one character who shines without you even trying?

I think I’ve nailed Kurt and Blaine at different scenes in different fics, but no particular character comes easy to me.

33. Is there any particular character whose scenes always wind up being longer/more frequent than you expected? Does the quality hold up?

Rachel kind of takes over sometimes and I have to go back and edit things out, lol. That’s just her diva way.

34. Was there any fic that you wrote that really surprised you in the fandom reaction? Was it just by the numbers or did they take it an entirely different way?

I think the one that surprised me with just how much response it received (I know that phrasing is wrong but I can’t be bothered right now) is Incapacitated by Love. Who knew people in the glee fandom had a thing about police officer!Blaine.

35. Have you ever written a ship into a fic without meaning to?

I keep klaine as the main focus, so the backround couples switch up ocassionally and I don’t particularly care.

36. Have you ever sincerely written a ship you do not support into a fic?

Nope.

37. Have you ever purposefully bashed a character/ship in a fic?

Not that I can remember.

38. Have you ever purposefully written something you know your readers would find uncomfortable/would not enjoy? If yes, why?

I don’t think so?

39. Do you consider yourself to have a readership?

Not really. Although if any of you consider yourself to be a loyal reader of mine, please let me know.

40. Do you feel like you put out enough content?

No, that’s kind of the worst part about my muse, she’s a flighty bitch.

41. If you cross-post your fics on multiple sites, do you have a favorite? Are there certain fics you would only post on certain site?

AO3 is the best. Tumblr can suck my dick.

42. How many views has your most popular fic gotten?

Incapacitated by Love has 1554 hits! Wow.

43. Your least popular?

Ground has only 95 hits, but I posted it a few days ago.

44. Do you follow/favorite/kudos/comment/review more stories than you have received?

I have no idea what this question is asking.

45. If you had to call yourself an author of a single genre (besides fanfic) what label would you give yourself?

AU all the way, baby, although that’s apparent.

46. Do you consider yourself a diverse author?

No, I think I have a very specific style. I dither in between gut-wrenching angst and tooth-aching fluff. That’s it, that’s my fics.

47. If someone you know in real life who isn’t involved in fandoms asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. There’s too much gay porn and I’m too closeted for this shit.

48. Does anyone you know from outside of fandom know you write fanfic? Are they involved in the same fandom too?

Yes, one friend of mine knows, although she doesn’t know what I write, or for which fandom(s).

49. Has anyone in your life ever read your fanfic just because you wrote it?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

50. Has writing fanfic had a significant impact on your life? Would you say it’s entirely positive?

Of course it’s had a massive impact in my life. It’s a huge creative outlet and I’ve ‘met’ so many people because of it! I think it’s like 85% positive.

[robobrainmurdermysterytheatre]

OC Interview!

I got tagged by the lovely @andremarshallwhite in this, thank you! I think someone else might have tagged me a long time ago? I couldn’t find who it was, but big thank you if someone else did!

1. Choose an OC.

2. Answer them as that OC.

3. Tag 5 people to do the same. I’m tagging: @marvilus73 @thesuplexrangerexperience @red-king-4 @commonwealthhero @myworldisbiworld @humans-are-friends-not-food @nya-for-you I know that’s more than five but I can’t count and also hate rules. I think some y’all done this already, though!

I’m cutting this because it’s hella long, so the rest is under the cut 👇

1. What is your name? "General Jack Daniel O'Kelley of the Commonwealth Minutemen, how about you?"

2. Do you know why are you named that? "Yes."

3. Are you single or taken? "Taken, but... if you're asking because you're interested... my relationship is a little bit more... open than people usually mean when they say 'taken'."

4. Have any abilities or powers? "I'm very talented at creating. Equally if not more talented at destruction. Radiation heals me after I had this thing happen on an island with the Children of Atom.. long story, it was a phase. I also know a neat trick with my tongue..."

5. Stop being a Mary Sue. "I would love to but no."

6. What’s your eye color? "They were blue, but now they're... it would be easier to just show you."

7. How about your hair color? "Blonde, blondes have more fun!"

8. Have any family members? "The only blood family I have left alive is my son... but, it's complicated. And something I'd rather not discuss... blood doesn't make family, though - I know that fact with certainty. I consider the people I love and trust and work with every day, the people who we have each other's backs, my family."

9. Oh? How about pets? "Just Dogmeat... oh! And a robot butler. That's the same thing, right?"

10. That’s cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don’t like? "Greed, injustice, hatred, you know, that kind of stuff you would think people would dislike... I've been told that's not very common anymore. Or maybe it never actually was. And Gunners. I will wipe every single one of those sons of bitches off the face of this god forsaken earth even if it kills me. Yum Yum Deviled Eggs are also fucking gross."

11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do? “I like to do robots. I mean, I build and mod robots. Give old assaultrons flamethrowers and refurbish old sentrybots so they have gatling laser hands. Paint them fun colors. Put skulls on 'em. Make friends with them. That kind of thing."

12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before? "Only if necessary or if they earned it. Out here that seems to be a lot of people. And before The War... I served four years in Anchorage, I didn't get to decide what was necessary or... right... so then, too, as a soldier, yes."

13. Ever… killed anyone before? "Same answer as before."

14. What kind of animal are you? “Have you ever heard the term ‘crazy like a fox’?”

15. Name your worst habits? “Jet, mentats, psycho, med-x and whiskey”

16. Do you look up to anyone at all? "My mom and dad. They were good people. They had really good hearts. They adopted me when I was ten. They had no idea what they were getting themselves into. Then they stood by me through... everything. Unconditionally. I still have a hard time believing people like that really existed."

17. Are you gay, straight or bisexual? "Very bisexual"

18. Do you go to school? "I did when I was a kid"

19. Ever want to marry and have kids one day? "I had that life once... I would do it again in a heartbeat."

20. Do you have any fangirls/fanboys? "Not that I'm aware of."

21. What are you most afraid of? "Failing to protect my family again."

22. What do you usually wear? "Whatever's seasonable, reasonable and fashionable. Though fashionable is probably subjective..."

23. What’s one food that tempts you? “Fancy Lads Snack Cakes – I’m supposed to be saving them all for my husband because he really likes them. A lot. I lack the words to convey what happens when you put a box of those things down in front of this man. But they’re so good and sometimes I break down and sneak some. He always knows when I do. Can you imagine having your shit together enough to know exactly how many snack cakes you have? If you can’t, ask him, because evidently he does. I love that man.”

24. Am I annoying to you? "Not particularly"

25. Well, it’s still not over! "Well, OK then!"

26. What class are you (low/middle/high)? "I don't know if there's necessarily a class system out here anymore... but before The War my wife and I were probably closer to the upper end of middle class. My parents were definitely middle-middle class. Before that... I don't know what class you would call a kid without parents scraping by in an orphanage."

27. How many friends do you have? "You want a number? I have no idea. I'm friendly with a lot of people."

28. What are your thoughts on pie? "I once got a perfectly preserved pie out of one of those snack gizmos you see around here and there. Every single one I tried was broken - my pal Mac kept telling me to just smash one open if I wanted that pie so bad, but I wanted to get one fair and square. And god dammit, I finally did. I still haven't eaten it, I put it on my mantle like a trophy."

29. Favorite drink? “Whiskey and Nuka-Cola 50/50 mix”

30. What’s your favorite place? "There's an old overpass up by Greygarden. Once you get on top of it you can see the whole Commonwealth. It's amazing."

31. Are you interested in anyone? "There is this one guy I'm kind of married to..."

32. That was a stupid question… *shrug*

33. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean? “I would rather just cover myself in butter and throw up a sign that says ‘Mirelurks Eat Free!’ if those are my options...”

34. What’s your type? “Alive... no, I'm kidding. I mean, that is a prerequisite, oh, unless you’re a robot... are robots technically alive? Anyway.. I don't know. I like a lot of different types of people. Genuine people. People who are smart in their own way, whatever way that is. Being a little bit badass doesn't hurt either."

35. Any fetishes? "We don't have time to answer that question, to be fair."

36. Camping or outdoors? "I like being outdoors... I don't like being cold or eaten by surprise Deathclaws, so camping is the less attractive option."

[fen-ha-fuck-you]

the 100 ask game

hi i was tagged by approximately a million of you for various things in the past few weeks, so forgive me if i missed you, but I believe this one included: @little-oxford-st — @yourereallyhere — @foreverandalwayscrysis — @clarkgriffon — @mamabearsdontthink 

and i’m putting the rest of this under a cut bc she’s thicc ladies

1. What station on the Ark would you be from?

honestly, probably alpha tbh

2. What would you get arrested for on the Ark?

treason. i don’t know specifics, but it would absolutely be treason

3. Would you take off your wristband when you landed on the ground?

nah

4. What would the necklace Finn would make for you look like? (Clarke: deer/Raven: a raven duh..)

bold of you to assume i’d let that boy so much as speak my name

5. If you could resurrect any MINOR character who would it be?

gina martin, may she rest in peace

6. Create a squad of 5 characters to go on missions with. Who are they?

clarke and bellamy, clearly, and also lincoln, diyoza, and roan. i call it Competence Squad™

7. What Grounder Clan would you belong to?

get grounder culture 31596026746 feet away from me. skaikru.

8. What would your name be in Trigedasleng? (example: Octavia=Okteivia…just make it up!)

Abi 

9. Thoughts on Finn? Some people hate him, and others love him, so I’m curious

from a writing perspective? fascinating character and arc  from a personal perspective? boy can choke 

10. Be honest. How willing would you have been to take the chip without knowing all the horrible things it does?

absolutely not, nope

11. What character do you relate to most?

clarke 100%

12. What character do you like the least?

currently? echo. the one thing I like less than a complete asshat of a character is one with absolutely zero development, and there she is, right there. don’t @ me

13. Describe your delinquent outfit. (Would you wear something like Murphy’s jacket with the spikey red shoulder patch or have a trademark like Jasper’s goggles? Be creative, yet practical)

clarke’s s3 fetish gear but like............... more leather

14. Favorite type of mutant animal?

i have a soft spot for the worms, idk why. i love their useless non-existent asses

15. What would your job be on the Ark?

i’d probably be doing some high-level organizational work or some shit. i’m good with patterns and recall

16. Would you have willingly pumped Ontari’s heart if Abby asked?

without hesitation

17. If Lexa wasn’t Heda, but she was still alive then who would have made the best commander?

let’s make it a democracy babey

18. How would you act if you ate the hallucinogenic nuts like Jasper and Monty?

i have no goddamn clue

19. How would you have dealt with Charlotte’s crime? A more John Murphy approach or Bellamy Blake approach?

neither. clarke griffin approach. protect the kid, but give her some tough love because holy shit, you can’t just kill people charlotte

20. Who should have been the Chancellor, if anyone?

clarke was basically the chancellor anyway and saved their asses more than any of the other “chancellors” so i’m gonna go with clarke

21. Would you have been on Pike’s side like Bellamy or on Kane’s side? Or Clarke in Polis?

kane’s

22. Mount Weather had a lot of modern commodities. (example: Maya’s Ipod) What is the one thing you would snatch while there?

gimme the tunes

23. What would your Grounder tattoos look like? Hairstyle? War paint?

a nice mix of geometric patterns and flow-y nature. undercut. classic american football shit

24. Favorite quote?

"You won’t do it.” / “You don’t know me very well.”

25. If all of the characters were in the Hunger Games, who would have the best shot at winning?

i keep answering clarke, and i’m gonna keep answering clarke. girl fights smart and dirty, and uses her surroundings to her advantage. plus she’s highly adaptable

26. Least favorite ship? Favorite canon ship? Favorite non canon ship? NOT INCLUDING CL OR BC OR BE

i’ll say BE is my least favorite ship if i damn well feel like it, and i do. very closely followed by CL. for writing reasons, specifically and bellarke might as well be canon already so i’m gonna say that for both of the other ones

27. A song that should be included in the next season? If there had to be another guest star like Shawn Mendes on the show, who would you want to make a cameo?

no more cameos.............. blease, i’m begging................................ but i’m gonna go with season 6 because i have a whole playlist for it and say The Devil Within by Digital Daggers

28. What would you do if you were stuck in the bunker with Murphy for all that time?

jam out and snark until we inevitably killed each other probably

29. You’re an extra that gets killed off. How do you die?

just let clarke kill me in a really hot way

30. A character you’d like to learn more about and get flashbacks of?

where the fuck is harper’s backstory jroth

31. A character you’d bang?

i would be in the middle of a blarke sandwich, thanks. the dream. alternatively, a roan/diyoza sandwich. the forbidden ship

32. Would you stay in the Bunker? Go up to Space? Or live on your own in Eden?

would i rather eat people, only algae, or a whole variety of fresh fruits and vegetables? are you joking?

33. In the Bunker, would you follow Octavia? What would you do to pass the time underground?

yeah, hard pass. i’d sure as hell train though holy fuck

34. What crime would you commit in the Bunker that lands you in the fighting pits?

again, treason. 

35. Up in Space, who would you bond with first? Who would be the most difficult for you to get along with?

i’d probably bond with murphy and clarke first. i probably wouldn’t get along with jasper much

36. How long do you think you would last on Earth by yourself?

i’d be fine with the solitary element for a good chunk of time, it’s the outside survival part that’d be the problem

37. When the Eligius ship lands what do you do?

recon that shit

38. Favorite Eligius character? Least favorite?

DIYOZA. mccreary.

39. Would you Spacewalk?

fuck no space scares the shit out of me

40. Would you prefer to eat Windshield Bugs, Space Algae, or Bunker Meat?

... bugs. but people are a close second.

41. Would you start a war for the last spot of green on earth? What would your solution be to avoid it?

no??? a peaceful solution was right there. it wouldn’t be difficult. as long as i didn’t have a group of people staging a coup to remove the person i made a deal with and also someone who didn’t give a flying fuck about anything but war at the time. *cough*

42. Would you rather dig out flesh-eating worms or stick thumb drives into bullet holes?

i’d rather try to save someone’s life than cause so much damage to someone’s injury that it kills them, if that’s what you’re asking. 

43. Are you willing to poison your sister for the Traitor Who You Love? What would you do to stop Octavia?

LMAO, i’d probably just straight up kill her, but i also don’t have a bellamy to be in love with, nor is she my sister

44. Would you go to sleep in cryo or stay awake like Marper?

cryo, fuck that shit

45. Who are you waking up first to explore the new planet?

clarke, bellamy, diyoza. everyone else is window dressing

[tiny-circus]

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now? I am confused how someone has stolen my identity and has started making accounts in my name :( so shit.

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? No, mornings aren’t good haha

3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care? Yeah weed just makes people so unproductive. It would annoy me. If it was a social thing I wouldn’t mind buttttt would rather they didn’t. 

4: Do you find it easy to trust others? Yeah once the trust is earned or I’ve got to know someone well. Some people are very open and easy to trust 

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night? Watching the Hobbit

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?  Probably Steven lol 

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on? Leave, block, delete and never talk to again. There’s not much you can do when you’ve been cheated on other than pick yourself back up again and have time alone.

8: Are you close with your dad? Not really.

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right? I did not babes

10: What are you listening to? Just got peep show playing in the background :P

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it? Tea

12: Do you like hickeys? Hate them. Ew.  

13: What time do you go to bed? Usually 11:30 - 12pm

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down? No, I don’t tend to stick around when someone continuously does that

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both? Who cares? XD

16: Do you always answer your texts? Yeah leaving them unread is so annoying

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? Nah, hate is a strong word and it happened a long time ago. All water under the bridge now.

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? An hour or so ago

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? Yeeeeeah all my friends do 

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? Probably something old like “my back still hurts”

21: Is anyone else in the room with you? Nah bare alonez right now

.22: Do you believe what goes around comes around? Yeah

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now? I’m about the same

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? Not really

25: In the past week, have you cried? I shed a little tear reading Kingdom of Ash but I couldn’t have a full on cry in the middle of the train XD 26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing? Red

27: Do people ever call you by your last name? No its so rude when people call someone by their last name. I don’t like it

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now? I dunno?

29: Do you have a best friend? No I’m not 5 30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed? Wouldn’t be hard but I wouldn’t want to see it

31: Who was your last call from? EE - sorting out stupid identity theft shit

32: Are you mad at anyone? I’m a little annoyed. I have a friend that barely contacts me at all (which is fine, we’re all busy and have our lives) but when they do contact me its to talk about their problems that they don’t ever sort out over and over again.  I also don’t think it takes much of their time just to say “hey, what’s up, how’re you?” 

33. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? Yeah I think most people have been a little older

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? I don’t know, 29? 35: How many more days until your birthday? I am not counting, soz babe

36: Do you have any summer plans yet? Probably book a holiday to Greece, haven’t thought that far ahead 

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? Yes

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? I guess I’m keeping my feelings about the friend that barely messages me. I think I’ll have the conversation at some point but they get very anxious and upset whenever I voice a concern.

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? Not that I can think of

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? Probably, some have been so bad XD

41: Do you think age matters in relationships? If you’re both consenting adults and there isn’t some weird power control then I guess its okay

42: Are you available? Available for? ;) 43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?   Two people

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? Lip

45: Do you believe exes can be friends? Yeah I think they can. I think if nothing awful happened and it ends okay, you both need some time apart to get used to having that distance between each other and do your own thing. Once you’re both in the same space mentally it can work.

46: Do you regret anything? Not really

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? Thinking about what is on my mind xD

48: Did you ever lose a best friend? I’ve drifted from people, yeah

49: Was your last kiss a mistake? Not a mistake, I liked him at the time but it didn’t work out. Oh well.

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? I got over the person I liked cos he didn’t want anything serious. I’ve been single for a while so, I don’t really want to mess around

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? No

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed? Yeah sometimes, mostly just send each other weird memes

53: What was the last thing you ate? Homemade bread

54: Did you get any compliments today? No

55: Where are you going on your next vacation? JAPAN AND SOUTH KOREA :D

56: Do you own anything from other countries? I mean my whole wardrobe is mostly from Japan xD

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls? Half and half, but I’ve always got on better with girls

58: Where have you lived most of your life? Good ol’ Billerz

59: When was the last time you took a long drive? I don’t know

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle? No I don’t wanna kiss gross people xD

61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house? I’m not American so Idk what that is

62: Who do you text the most? Faun

63: What was the last movie you saw? The Hobbit

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex? The fact that I don’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend right now xD

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2010? 1

66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you? No

67: Do you curse around your parents? Yeah

68: Are you happy with where you live? S'ight, three stops from London so I ain’t complaining : P

69. Picture of yourself? Just check my profile lol

70. Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships? I’m 100% monogamous

71. Have you ever been dumped? Yeh

72. What do you most like about making out? It leads to spooning which leads to forking

73. Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with? Ye.

74. When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other? The other, I’ve noticed I’m really bad at initiating anything physical. I get kind of nervous? I’m not really a touchy person haha

75. What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive? The face and hair

76. Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed? Mum 

77. Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour? >___>

78. Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name? >____>

79. What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face? When someone messages me something really sweet, or take the time out of their day just to speak to me. I think a little effort goes a long way

80. Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? Honestly depends on how strongly I feel about that person. I don’t want to say no because until I’m in the situation I don’t know

81. Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you? Yeah

82. Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush? Noooooooo I don’t tell anyone until I’m actually with that person. Idk I just have this paranoia that voicing my feelings to other people will ruin it or something will go wrong. So I just keep it to myself until things progress between me and the person I like

83. Do you miss your last sweetie? My what?

84. Last time you slow danced with someone? Never xD

85. Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met? No, how does that work?

86. How can I win your heart? Make an effort, sense of humour, be respectful and kind and sociable 

87. What is your astrological sign? Gemini

88. What were you doing last night at 12 AM? Watching peep show and using my massage machine. My back has been in a lot of pain lately. Getting old init xD

89. Do you cook? Yeah gotta to stay alive 8)

90. Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication? Yeah they got in contact with me. To be honest most guys end up getting back in touch, its either for a booty call, cos they’re feeling shit and lonely or they have a lot of apologising to do.

91. If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship? I don’t wish for it, but if it happens then okay :B

92. Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly? I’m not really into modern dating to be honest. I did it for a while and its a lot of effort and not much pay off. People stop talking for no reason or they don’t give a reason even though you get along. Then you need to build it back up again with someone else. I prefer to just get to know someone after time

93. What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest? Dark hair, baby face, nice fashion style, tattoos

94. Name four things that you wish you had: A long 3 month holiday My own house A cute guy to cuddle ;) Aaaand a million pounds yeah 

95. Are you a player? lol no, I’m very direct. Cba with wasting time

96. Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day? Yeah

97. Are you a tease? Again, I’m very direct so if I want something I’ll say

98. Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr? Yeah

99. Have you ever been deeply in love with someone? Yeash

100. Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with? Nah no one is on here lol

101. Hugs or Kisses? Both :'3

102. Are you too shy to ask someone out? Not really

103. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Cute face, dark hair dark eyes ;) 104. Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe? Everyone should be called babe

105. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it? No I wouldn’t even bother speaking to them

106. Do you flirt a lot? Not at all xD 107. Your last kiss? What about it?

108. Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2011? Up until now? Yeah xD

109. Have you kissed anyone in the past month? Yeah 110. If you could kiss anyone who would it be? TOP

111. Do you know who you’ll kiss next? Nope

112. Does someone like you currently? Nah

113. Do you currently have feelings for anyone? Nah

114. Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? Serious, flings are a waste of time for me 115. Ever made out with just a friend? No thats weird

116. Are you happier single or in a relationship? If the relationship is right, i’ll be happy but Im also happy being single

[whiskynottea]

An interruption in the 1st law of thermodynamics.

Previously Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28 Chapter 29

AO3

As always, thanks to my OOT sister @theministerskat, for beta-ing this story ❤️

Chapter 30. The Cricket on the Hearth

source

New addition to my “Top 10 Best Things In The World” list: Falling asleep in Jamie’s arms.

Reason: Because sleeping with the arms of the person you love wrapped around you feels like nothing else. It’s a hug that lasts for hours; it keeps you warm, safe, and secure.

I couldn’t get enough of it.

And waking up to Jamie’s voice was the best alarm clock I could ever imagine.

Hearing his whisper – though I had no idea what he’d said – mingling with the colors of my dream, trailing shapes like a soft breeze, put a huge smile on my face.

This is perfect.

I was expecting to open my eyes and find him looking at me, whispering beautiful things, the sunlight softly kissing his auburn locks, and little hearts emanating from his head. Or something similar. Heart eyes at the very least.

You know, like it is in movies.

Instead, Jamie’s arms and the feel of his chest under my cheek were the only things going according to the plan. No sweet whispers. No kisses. Not even a hoarse ‘good morning’ or the sun entering the room. Everything was dark and I just wanted to go back to sleep.

“Sassenach! Wake up!”

“Wake up?” I repeated, still half asleep,  my eyes feeling heavy.

“Aye. Grab a brush and put a little makeup.” Jamie chuckled, amused by himself. I didn’t even have the energy to roll my eyes, so I ignored both him and his joke and just snuggled closer into his chest, trying to remember the dream interrupted by his whisper. Jamie, however, was determined to keep me up and with a large hand on my back, he started lightly shaking me.

“What?”

“Ye have to leave, mo chridhe!”

“Why?”

“Christ! Will ye please wake up and start thinking? Ye’re in my room!”

I am in Jamie’s room.

“Yes, of course I’m in your room. I came here last night,” I murmured and wrapped an arm over his stomach. “Now let me sleep. Five more minutes.”

Five more minutes, that will lead to five more, and five more. I know how to do this.

“Claire…” This time his whisper came with a kiss on the forehead.

Jamie using my name was never a good omen.

I finally opened my eyes and kissed him on his collar bone before putting my chin right next to it.

“Are you okay?”

Jamie took a deep breath with closed eyes, and let the air leave his body, coming out in three words.

“More than okay.” He smiled, then continued, “I woke up wi’ ye in my arms, mo chridhe. Tis perfect. Even better than I thought it would be.”

“I know,” I murmured against his skin, holding him tighter.

“And I don’t want you to go, babe, I really don’t, but you have to.” He brushed a few stray curls from my face, giving me a sad smile. “They canna find us here.”

I knew he was right, and with a kiss on his chest I put a hand on the mattress to prop myself up. I was naked, but I didn’t feel the urge to hide my body as I’d seen the women do in the movies. I wasn’t embarrassed. We wanted to share our bodies, our lust, our love, to let the other know us whole. In our strongest and our weakest moments. And we had done just that. We trusted ourselves to the other, to see us safe. And pleased – more than pleased. Plus, walking around like a Greek goddess wrapped up in the sheets didn’t seem practical at all.

I was starting to scan the room in search for my clothes, when Jamie trapped my hand in his, pulling me back to him.

“Eeee!”

“One last kiss,” came his answer, breathy, with the hint of a smile. The smile grew and crashed against mine, our tongues finding each other in a matter of seconds. I almost straddled him, but realized that the longer I stayed, the more probable it was that we’d wake the whole house. With a last bite on his bottom lip, I left the bed, trying to remember where my panties were. Jamie laid there still, naked, first with a pout on his face and then with a glint in his eyes that I knew all too well.

“Will you come and help me?” I asked with a raised eyebrow, “I can’t find my bra, because apparently, you couldn’t just leave it on the bed.”

“I dinna think I had a mind for things like that at that moment.” He mumbled, getting up in search of the black lace undergarment.

“Can we turn the lights on?”

“Hell no! Are ye crazy, Sassenach?” He looked at me in the dark with, I guessed, incredulous eyes. “I’ll use my phone.”

It took us an insanely long time to find my dress and underwear. In the meantime, Jamie found his boxers tangled in the sheets on the bed and threw them back on. My panties were somewhere under the bed, so I opted for going commando back to my room. I was next to the door when Jamie stopped me again, asking for ‘one last kiss’.

“I thought the previous one was the last!” I said with a cocky smile.

“Aye, this one is the last-last.” He smiled in response and kissed me again, the pull between us too strong to ignore.

“I’ll see you in a few hours, you know,” I whispered, cupping his face when our lips parted.

Jamie nodded, and ran a hand through his locks.

“Dream of me?” He asked, somehow shy, all of the sudden.

“Will do.” I kissed him once more – the last-last-last time, I supposed – and left his room.

Walking a ridiculously small distance in a hallway at 5:30 in the morning seems like a an easy thing to do and not be caught.   

Unless you’re at Lallybroch.

The light coming from Brian Fraser’s closed door was enough to knock the breath out of me. With my panties well hidden in my fist, I swallowed hard and started walking to my room with my head down.

Please stay in your room for a few more seconds. Please, please please.

The moment I reached my door, I heard a door open from behind. I entered my room without looking back, praying that whoever it was, he hadn’t seen me.

Sassenach: Did you just open your door?

Scot: No. Shit.

Sassenach: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA My thoughts exactly.

Scot: lol Don’t worry, aye?

Sassenach: The lights in your dad’s room were on.

Scot: It’s done now. Most likely he dinna see ye. Sleep, Sassenach. We’ll find out in the morning.

Or better yet, we wouldn’t.

It took almost an hour to get rid of the adrenaline high and drift back to sleep.

--

The next morning, I walked down the stairs wishing that my uncle and Brian Fraser would be in the office again. To my relief, the only people in the living room were Jamie and Ian, watching videos on YouTube. With a quick kiss to Jamie I headed to the kitchen, wanting to drink a whole tank of water. Jenny was there, with a half-full glass in hand.

“Haggis,” she said, raising her glass as if in a toast.

“I know! I’m so thirsty!” I opened the cabinet above the sink, searching for the biggest glass.

“This is my millionth glass of water, actually,” Jenny chuckled. “I came down twice during the night because I woke up thirsty.”

I almost choked. Unable to speak, I just nodded.

“Twas quite active, in the house last night.” She continued, and I pondered whether I should look at her or keep drinking water forever. “After we went to bed, I mean.”

There was a smile in her voice that I couldn’t ignore.

“It was you?” Jenny’s raised eyebrows gave me the answer I needed, and her laugh soon confirmed it.

Just Jenny. Thank god.

“So?” Jenny looked at me, waiting for more details.

“So?” I asked, faking ignorance.

“Did ye do it?”

Typical Jenny Fraser. Right to the point.

“No,” I replied quickly, feeling my cheeks burn crimson.

Water. More water.

“Aye, twas not verra noisy, last night. Although I think I heard some strange noises…”

“Jenny!” I looked at her with wide eyes, and she laughed at my expression.

“I didna hear anything, I’m teasing ye. This house has solid walls,” she added with a wink.

“Have you and Ian?” I asked, feeling more relaxed now that I knew she was okay talking about it.

“No. Not yet, anyway.” She made a gesture with her hand, as if this was a decision she didn’t fully agree with. “I think it’ll be great,” she added with a sigh.

“I guess so…”

“I mean, the first time, wi’ the lad ye love. It’s the right thing, aye?”

“Yes,” I agreed with a smile. “It’s right. Aren’t you at all afraid?”

“Sometimes when I overthink everything, yes, I am. But then, we know what to do - more or less. We’ve done our homework,” she smiled with mischief, winking at me.

“Maybe you’ll do it first, and then tell me about it.” I raised an eyebrow and she blushed a little.

“Ah, we’ll see. Ian really wants to wait. For what, I dinna ken.” Jenny shrugged, filling her glass with water again. “Anyway, we’ve done other… stuff.”

“Yes, we’ve done other stuff too.”

Jenny rolled her eyes but smiled. “Don’t ye tell! The wee dolt I have as a brother canna take his hands off ye.”

Laughing, and with our glasses full, we walked back to the living room, where I noticed Jamie wasn’t the only ‘wee dolt’. Ian was looking at Jenny as if she held the world in her hands.

We all huddled together on the big couch, laptop on the table, and watched funny videos until Lamb and Brian came to find us extremely happy and hungry.

--

Time had a different pace at Lallybroch. It didn’t fly by, it didn’t rush. I was in search of a distraction in the afternoon when Brian Fraser proposed I go to his office and pick a book from the library. It was that or rereading, for the hundredth time, one of the Harry Potter books I’d seen in Jamie’s room. Since it was the beginning of a new year, I thought it would be better to try something new.

I’m sorry, Harry.

Brian Fraser had an impressive library, with shelves full of history books – a few of them stacked on a table, most probably by Lamb – and many about economics, management, and finance that I passed by without giving them a second glance.

This is what Jamie will read in uni.

And then, there they were. Fiction. Millions of worlds waiting to be discovered. Brian Fraser had a large collection of the classics and I found myself standing indecisive in front of the book shelves.

“A lot of these were my mom’s.” Jamie was leaning against the door frame, arms crossed in front of his chest, watching me.

“How long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough to hear you huff and not spare a second glance at the books about economics.”

“That’s for you to read.” My raised eyebrow didn’t have the effect I was expecting on him. His eyes clouded, and his gaze left my eyes to run along the burgundy carpet.

“What?” I walked to him, placing a hand on his chest and bending my head so he could see me. He laughed at my childish move and pulled me closer to him, inhaling deeply. “Tell me?”

“Nothing.”

“Hey…”

“Tis nothing, really. I just don’t see myself enjoying reading these books more than you would, Sassenach.” Jamie sighed, and placed a kiss on my forehead.

“But the distillery…”

“Aye, I ken. I have to, if I want to continue the business.”

“And do you want to?”

Jamie shrugged, and I knew that he wasn’t ready to talk about this. Having no other means to help, I pulled him closer to me, hoping that the mere presence of my body next to his would hold some power to make him feel better.

“So what did you choose to read?” he asked after a while, obviously changing subject. His gaze was on the book I’d left on Brian’s desk.

“Charles Dickens, the Christmas stories,” I said with a shrug, feeling totally predictable.

“Oh, I like The Cricket on the Hearth,” Jamie moved to pick up the book and smiled at me over his shoulder, reaching for my hand. “Even more than A Christmas Carol, actually.”

“I have to read it, then.” Standing next to him, I took the book from his hand and  was about to open it to find the story, when something on Brian’s desk caught my attention. “Jamie, what’s that?” He followed my gaze, and when he saw the object in question, he snorted. It was a body lotion, in a beautiful vase that resembled the Fraser whisky bottle.

“This is ‘Ellen’s body lotion,’” he said while I squinted, trying to read the label. “See, my ma had her own series of body lotions.”

“She did?” I asked surprised and Jamie reached for the vase to give it to me.

“Aye, she had five different ones. Like the Fraser whiskies. Like the Frasers.” I took the vase from his hand, placing a kiss on his bicep.

“Almond,” I said, inhaling deeply. “It’s so good!”

“Twas hers. Ma was almond. She always smelled like it and Da made a whisky wi’ almond notes for her. And then came the body lotion.”

“And he keeps it here to remember her?”

“I dinna think tis to remember her. He had one of these vases here from the first night after ma died. I think he keeps it here to feel her around.”

I left the lotion on the desk, feeling like an intruder, not entitled to knowing Ellen’s scent.

“I couldna understand him in the beginning. Twas pointless, she was gone and she would never come back. A stupid body lotion wouldna bring her back.” I placed a hand on his cheek bringing his eyes to me, trying to take a bit of his heartbreak away. “I understand him now, ye ken,” Jamie continued with his voice broken, the almond scent that enveloped us not enough to mend his wounds. “He missed her. And I know now, because I have ye.”

“I know, baby, I know.” With fingers intertwined in his locks, I brought his mouth to mine, tasting his tears and his pain.

“I dinna want to lose ye, ever.” He said, more tears running down his cheeks. “I’ve lost enough people already, I dinna want to lose more. I dinna want to try to remember.”

“Shhh…” I soothed, cupping his face with both hands, trying not to think of scars that salves and creams could never erase. “I’m here. You’re here. We are all alive and well, aye?”

My Scottish made him laugh, and he turned his head to kiss the soft skin on the inside of my wrist. “I just miss her.”

“I know.”

“And I wish she could’ve been here to know ye.”

“I wish that too, love.”

I buried myself in his arms, feeling them tighten around me, and I silently promised to Ellen Fraser that I would take care of him. Her red-headed lad.

My red-headed lad.

Chapter 31

[ofheroesandheralds]

OC Interview Meme - Saarnos

Tagged by: No one. Saw it by coincidence on @seboostianillustrations‘ blog, and wanted to do it.

Tagging: @taerellavellan and/or @oceans-bleed-black, and perhaps @thereluctantinquisitor and @angrykittybarbarian if any of you are in the mood to do it! I’d also love to tag @chaitea09 but tumblr won’t let me. Also, anyone who’s not tagged but in the mood to do it shall feel free to do so, and tag me too so I can take a look at all your cool OCs!

1. What is your name?

“Saarnos Adaar. That translates to ‘raging flame’.”

2. What is your real name?

“That is my real name. Or are you asking for the name my parents gave me? That would be Junior. Well... Ramin, officially, but they’d never use that.”

3. Do you know why you were called that?

”Yes, because my parents wanted me to choose my own name once I was... uh... mature enough. My father was Tal-Vashoth, and he valued freedom very highly. Especially the freedom to choose your own identity, which you couldn’t ever do under the Qun, so they called me by a neutral nickname so I wouldn’t grow too attached to the official one."

4. Are you single or taken?

He laughs.

”I wouldn’t call myself taken, but I’d lie if I said I was single, too. There is that one man I have... an affair with, whenever we both happen to be in the same place, but neither of us calls it a relationship, and we both see other people too when we’re in the mood.”

5. Have any abilities or powers?

”Plenty of them! First of all I’m a mage. A fire mage, specifically, which was the main reason for the name I chose. I’m also a damn fine dancer, an acrobat, and I could kick an apple from the top of your head while balancing on one hand and having the other one tied to my back!”

6. Stop being a Mary Sue.

He gives a huge grin.

“How am I supposed to stop being perfect at everything when I’m just... perfect at everything?”

7. What’s your eye color?

“Some would say yellow, but I prefer to call it golden.”

8. How about your hair color?

“Black. Simple as that. No touch of blue or anything, not ‘just a very dark brown’ - just black. Silky and shiny, though!”

9. Have you any family members?

“Not anymore. At least none that I know of. My parents both already passed away, and I don’t have any siblings. There were also no more relatives on my mother’s side, but since my father used to live under the Qun, we never got to know if he had any other relatives.”

10. Oh? What about pets?

“Nah. I like animals, but I’m not really the type to keep any. Taking care of another creature would interfere with my lifestyle, so I’m sparing myself of that... as well as the animals.”

11. That’s cool I guess, now tell me about something you don’t like.

He groans.

“Cold weather. I hate it. I mean, I don’t have a big problem staying warm or anything, I’ll just make my own fire, but... I can’t quite explain it, there’s just something to it that I really, really don’t like. I try to stay away from cold or rainy places. Might just be my Antivan heart!”

12. Do you have any hobbies/activities you like doing?

”I live for my artistry! I’ve made it into my profession, actually, it’s how I make my money most of the time. My favorite discipline is a... a mixture of dancing and fighting, I don’t know if there is a name for that specific style. But it looks quite spectacular, if I’m allowed the vanity! Especially when paired with fire.”

13. Ever hurt anyone before?

“Sure. When you live a life out travelling most of the time, at some point someone will try to rob you, and you gotta make sure they fail, right?”

14. Ever… killed anyone before?

“Not before I ran into the Inquisition. And I’m also not sure if those darkspawns count as ‘someone’.“

15. What kind of animal are you?

Again, a wide grin spreads across his face.

“If I was an animal, I’d be a tiger! Look at my vitaar, I’m on the best way there!”

16. Name your worst habits.

“Why does it have to be multiple? I can’t even think of a single bad habit I have. I guess that question is better answered by people who know me, and not myself."

17. Do you look up to anyone at all?

“I don’t think so, nah.”

18. Gay, straight, or bisexual?

“A little bit of everything? Nah, honestly, as long as you’re an adult, and qunari like me, I couldn’t give less of a shit about what’s going on in your pants.”

19. Do you go to school?

“My father used to teach me some things when I was younger, but I’ve never been to an actual school.”

20. Do you ever want to marry and have kids one day?

“Ahh, oh no, probably not. I mean, I cannot speak for what’ll be in the future, but at this point in my life, with children, it’s the same as with animals. I have nothing against them, they usually love me, but I couldn’t see myself having any. That sort of responsibility doesn’t fit into my life."

21. Do you have any fanboys/fangirls?

“Oh I bet I have, but so far there’s only one person of whom I know with certainty that he likes me.”

22. What are you most afraid of?

“Being made into a saarebas, probably. The entire idea of it is just horrible, I’d rather die than living like that.”

23. What do you usually wear?

He smirks.

“As little as possible. But when I travel, I wear some light plate, mostly around the arms and legs, as well as a shoulder piece. And a waist cloth, for some decency. Not that I gave a damn, but a lot of people seem to do.”

24. Do you love someone?

“Not romantically, if that’s what you’re asking.”

25. When was the last time you wet yourself?

“As a child. Why would you even ask that?”

26. Well, it’s not over yet!

“I am just fine, keep the questions coming!”

27. What class are you? (High class, middle class, low class)

“I don’t know if I fit into any class. Back at home with my parents, I’d have said middle class, but now? I’ve got everything I need, so I don’t really care.”

28. How many friends do you have?

“Huh. That depends on how you define that. I've been to a lot of places, and I’ve gotten to know a lot of people, most of whom I’ve gotten along with, but if you’re talking about that ‘willing-to-die-for-each-other’ kind of friends, I... don’t think I’ve got any.”

29. What are your thoughts on pie?

“I like it. I prefer savory over sweet, though. Filled with meat and some good spices! I like it spicy.”

30. Favourite drink?

“I don’t even think I have one. Anything that has some taste to it, I like my food and drinks with some intensity.”

31. What’s your favourite place?

“Probably Antiva. And it’s not even some ‘back to the roots’ thing, it’s just nice there. I like the people, the mentality. And also it’s nice and warm.”

32. Are you interested in someone?

“I am very easily interested in people, so most of the time, I could answer that question with ‘Yes’.”

33. What’s your bra cup size and/or how big is your willy?

A smirk plays around his lips, while he narrows his eyes a little.

“You want me to show you? No, really! All I need to do is lift that cloth a little...! ... What? No? Hah, I thought so.”

34. Would you rather swim in the lake or the ocean?

“I’m not that much of a swimmer. I can do it, but not all too well, so I guess I’d prefer a lake? At least those end somewhere.”

35. What’s your type?

“Other qunari. Apart from that, I don’t have a type. Attraction comes spontaneously, I can’t tell you what traits I find more attractive than others, it really is a matter of my mood.”

36. Any fetishes?

“I like to have sex on a big pile of gold? ... What did you expect, a serious answer? Well. I’m not sure if I’d call it a fetish, but I really am into gold, meaning I like jewelry on my partners. It makes looking at an attractive body even more interesting!”

37. Seme or uke? Top or Bottom? Dominant or Submissive?

“I can do whatever feels best in the current situation. I would, however, not call myself submissive, it’s more like... letting a dominant person be dominant if that’s the only way they feel comfortable. I prefer being on one level.”

38. Camping or indoors?

“I’m very used to both, so it’s really not one over the other.”

39. Are you wanting the interview to end?

“Nah, I’m fine, I do like to talk about myself.”

40. Now it’s over!

“Aww, that was mean! Alright, it was fun to talk to you. Have a nice day!”

[lovebunnie]

Do all the asks coward

1. what does your wallet look like?

-i got it as a present from my uncle for christmas and its really expensive but also so ugly im sorry uncle tom. its like that ‘southern fashion’ bullshit that white MAGA moms wear. but it was better than my old wallet, which looks like this and i got when i was 12:

2. favorite color?

- baby pinnk

3. do you own a pride flag, or more than one?

-heres the thing: my parents basically know im not straight but i havent told them. my brother has thought i was a lesbian since freshman year, i have a small pride pin on my backpack, ive never been on a date, its complicated. but no, i dont have one. maybe one day, hopefully.

4. describe your favorite outfit

-black pants, platform doc martens, hoodie under a jean jacket, one clip on earring, and holding my crushes hand :]

5. when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter, and what’d she do?

-okay so theres this girl in my theatre class who is really cute, and she put her head on my shoulder and shes pagan so she drew a little sigil on my arm that means “safe and homely” so like :)))))))))))))

6. do you use nail polish?

-i do, i mostly do black tho

7. do you keep organized?

-absolutely. i have things online filed accordingly, i pick out my outfits the day before, my binders are neat, i learned how to army fold my shirts, i keep my shit CLEAN

8. ever take naps?

-only accidentally. ill be laying in bed watching youtube and next thing you know my autoplay has me watching a markiplier video even tho i dont like him and its 4 hours later

9. who was your first crush?

-idk if this is a real person or not so ill do both. my first fake person crush was either troy from high school musical or frankie stein from monster high. and my first real crush was on a boy named dominic in elementary school. i told him i liked him at the end of 5th grade because i thought i was switching schools but then i didnt and we never spoke again.

10. what are your crush tendencies? fall hard or often?

-both both both. i am the worst with crushes. i have crushes all the time because im romantic and a fucking fool. i have 3 crushes off the top of my head rn and i like them all for different reasons. thats not to say that i want to date them, but its that i like them a lot and i kinda wanna kiss their cheek or hold their hand idk

11. describe your ideal day

-play overwatch with my best friend (u gonble >:) ) then hang out with my cat, go get a smoothie, buy some cool shoes or something, take a shower and be asleep by 9 :,)

12. describe your ideal date

-i have stated that build a bear is an amazing first date and im NOT BACKING DOWN. ITS CUTE AS FUCK AND ILL ACCEPT NOTHING LESS!!

13. whats your favorite food?

-either sushi or strawberries :3c

14. who do you feel most comfortable around?

-my theatre class, people from camp, and gobble

15. what is your favorite compliment to receive?

-i dont have a favorite, any and all are going to make my face go red so i have to cover it and maybe make me cry

16. did you/do you like highschool?

-the first 3 years fucking sucked but senior year has been amazing so far. mostly because i just kinda stopped giving a fuck but its amazing

17. favorite animal?

-i think its cats now. i really like cats

18. do you like your name?

-eh, its okay. its pretty but also it seems like there are 60 million fucking people named grace and its so annoying. i wish it was something more unique idk

19. what kind of weather is your favorite?

-a light rain. no swinging trees or thunder, just lots of rain. its nice to stay inside and feel secure

20. do you believe in horoscopes?

-absolutely not. but theyre fun if you like them

21. tell us about your music taste

-its horrific. to sum it up, my two favorite musicians are the gorillaz and frank sinatra. take from that what you will

22. have you had your first kiss? if so, what was it like?

-i havent had my first kiss yet. gonna be honest, i felt like i was going to, a few times at camp and recently when classes ended. but yeah, nothing yet

23. did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a kid?

-i went thro cycles of favorites. but one ive had for years is a plush shadow the hedgehog from universal studios i got when i was 6. i used to carry him around, even to a pool once

24. what time do you usually wake up and go to bed?

-if you know me, you know i go to bed ridiculously early. i usually get tried at around 6pm and fall asleep between 7:45 and 8:30. and i always wake up before 6 am. i havent slept past 6 am continuously since the end of junior year. please help me

25. what dream trip would you take with your wife?

-maybe to go explore new york, just the two of us that sounds like fun :]

26. do you have any pets?

-i have 2 dogs and a cat. the family owns the dogs but that cat is mine

27. what pair of underwear is your favorite?

-uhhhhhhhhhhh i have some with rainbows that are cool? i dont have favorites, none of them are cute anyway

28. what makes you smile?

-funny jokes make me smile real hard, and if you compliment me at the right time, i kind of pull my legs up and hide my face? its cute and charming i promise

29. what makes you feel heavy?

-in both the physical and metaphorical sense, eating bread

30. what makes you feel better?

-watching bo burnham always makes me feel better, hes my go to whenever im really depressed

31. how do you show your love?

-i show my love in everything i do. everything i do is for love, i love love so much its sickening

32. when is it time to get a haircut?

-whenever u want to lol?

33. where would you live if you could live anywhere?

-maybe san francisco, its beautiful and i love the city

34. do your friends and family take good care of you?

-as much as i allow them to. sometimes i go days without communicating and i know thats annoying but my friends put up with it (they shouldnt have to, i know) and my family is okay. its cliche to say, but they honestly dont understand what im going thro alot of the times, esp with my anxiety and shit

35. have you always used the labels you use now?

-back in the beginning of highschool, i used they/them pronouns and identified as asexual/aromantic. eventually, it didnt feel right, so i know identify as cis and bisexual and that feels right to me

36. what makes you laugh?

-my friends, when people shit talk gobble and i in overwatch even tho???? we didnt know him?????? and the mcelroys always get me

37. who is your favorite fictional character?

-too many options, see list here

38. who do yo admire?

-my father when hes not threatening to throw my phone into a fucking lake and my friends for putting up with me

39. describe yourself in three words

-i am baby

40. how long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 

-usually about 45 min, more or less as each day goes

41. what do you wish you could tell your younger self?

-listen: STOP GIVING A FUCK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE. YOU WILL NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN, BE YOURSELF. STOP HIDING AND BEING SCARED OF YOURSELF, BE GENUINE!!!!

42. what would you do if you win the lottery?

-get my parents settled, see about other family members, and then distribute the money to charities accordingly, starting with flint and getting them water

43. would you call yourself a romantic?

-yes

44. what is your gayest childhood memory?

-my mom had cosmos magazines

45. do you have tattoos or want any?

-i dont have any tattoos but ive been obsessed with them since the 6th grade. id love to get tattoos, i just dont know what or where and also im afraid of pain

46. whats your worst habit?

-either biting my thumbs, starving myself, or ghosting my friends. prob ghosting my friends

47. what are you proud of?

-i guess coming out of my shell finally? idk, i actually have friends now and it feels amazing tbh. im in 5 group chats now. i havent been in a group chat since 6th grade. :))))))

48. did you know that youre actually a gift to the world, for real?

-hi i love you?

49. whats your favorite memory?

-there are so so many. but what comes to mind first is our dance night at camp where we all stood outside and i finally gave ian my tumblr and we all ran inside to dance to mr. brightside then ran outside again and we requested nightcore and rivers was fucking dancing their hearts out and we all sang along and im going to crying just typing this out

50. do you have a sweet tooth?

-i guess so. too much makes me feel like shit but i do really enjoy smarties

51. what do you like most about yourself?

-this is dumb, but my sense of style. since i got a job ive been wearing shit i actually like and its amazing. ill admit i have cool clothes

52. what makes you fall for a girl?

-besides acknowledging me, probably getting to know me and not like, putting me on a pedestal. idk its weird, ive met a lot of people this year who like to place me so high it feels like i cant make a mistake around them without disappointing them. idk, i want someone to call me out on my bullshit instead of assuring me im okay. i want to know what i do wrong so i can fix it

53. make a recommendation

-for what? uhh okay for music, listen to ‘clay pigeons’ by michael cera (yes i know michael cera) and for television, watch bojack horseman and for movies, watch the docuseries called ‘7 days out’ on netflix

54. have you ever had your heart broken?

-yeah, when i broke up with maddy because we werent ready to date. i cared and continue to care about her and i didnt want to hurt her but i knew its what we both needed. its what i needed, atleast. and i cant be a good girlfriend if i feel like im doing badly. but also ive had friends break my heart and family break my heart. but im okay now, this heart is ready to be broken again

55. when do you feel most yourself?

-def when i was at camp, that place is magical in the way it allows you to be yourself. but also when i talk to gobble because hes my best friend and when im at college, we can talk more and its gonna be dope as shit

56. name a gorgeous celeb

-jake gyllenhaal jake gyllenhaal jake gyllenhaal 

57. what are some of your favorite songs this week?

-fake happy by paramore, im not okay (i promise) by my chemical romance, tomorrow comes today by gorillaz

58. tell us 2 or your biggest hopes and fears

-biggest hopes: i publish a book someday & i get a job doing something i love

-biggest fears: i end up homeless and broke & something horrific happens in college

59. what flavor chapstick/lipbalm is the best?

-raspberry i guess

60. are you okay?

-i answered a lot more honestly then i shouldve for some of these and i start new classes tomorrow so im feeling really anxious so im doing alright i guess.

gobble you test me but i do love you

[trophywifejimgordon]

pre show hcs: jim & oswald

backstory headcanons under the cut; i’m putting these two together because they’re the most polished and also because i’m a gobblepot bitch at heart. a few barbara and fish ones snuck in as well, if that’s your cup of tea 👀👀👀

When Peter Gordon is still alive, he shows his sons (Jim and his younger brother Roger) his favorite western movies, which Jim retains a taste for all his life. Jim especially loves 3:10 to Yuma*, both back then and in the present, because of Ben Wade--honestly, he doesn’t realize it (and would never admit it), but his first crushes were on those gentlemen outlaw types. Seems like nothing ever changes.

Jim idealizes his father completely and withdraws into himself entirely when he dies. He’s angry & sulky as hell at first, which only gets worse when his mother remarries--he picks constant fights with his stepfather, who isn’t such a bad guy (he genuinely loves Jim’s mother and he and Roger get along, but then, Roger doesn’t have as many memories of Peter, and he doesn’t have Jim’s temper), but when years pass and Jim’s still in that angry, mourning state, things eventually get brutal. He leaves home senior year the second he turns 18, finishes the year couch surfing, and doesn’t look back. Enlists in the army because there’s no way he can afford college on his own and he stopped caring about his grades once his home life went to shit, so he’s not exactly first in line for scholarships. Spends the majority of his senior year with his high school sweetheart** Barbara Kean, whose parents tolerate him because he’s walking proof that she’s straight after all.

Ha.

Jim breaks up with her messily right before he enlists; she handles the breakup poorly (combining with her parent’s neglect to give her some pretty severe abandonment issues that will rock their relationship years into the future) and spends her first year of college at a prestigious school her parents kind of buy her way into (but kind of not, too; she’s a very talented artist with a passion for art history as well as a perfectionist driven by her parents’ expectations when she was in high school, and if things hadn’t gone as they did with James, she might have excelled at that university) completely wasted. She flunks her first semester and her parents pull her out in an outrage and stash her in a local Gotham school to save face, where she meets Renee Montoya, a very promising student with a criminal justice major who is brilliantly talented and in fact got accepted to Barbara’s fancy college all on her own, but couldn’t pay tuition. She pulls Renee into a toxic cycle of drug use and affairs and being miserable, tries to make her both everything Jim is and what he isn’t, and they circle around each other for the whole of their college careers through increasingly tumultuous make-ups and break-ups that wreak havoc on both their grades and their mental states. Finally, their last year of college, Renee breaks it off, apparently for good, and pulls herself up to good academic standing in the school and joins the GCPD soon after, while Barbara does nothing with her degree but laugh at it for a while, spending her life mostly between parties and hangovers.

Jim had one or two encounters in high school that might have been recognizably Not Straight, but he really finds out he’s bi when he’s in the army, stationed overseas with about 30 other men and no women whatsoever in his platoon. He fools around mostly--not particularly interested in falling in love or even really in lust--but accidentally forms a close bond with fellow soldier Eduardo Dorrance, with whom he starts sharing dreams and fears and hopes for after the war in between quick and cheap late night h*ndjobs. They fool around just enough that Jim knows it’s more than friendship for him, and for Eduardo too, he thinks, and that realization shows him what he probably already knows; this is nothing new to him, not really (understanding that puts everything in a new light for Jim and he looks back on some of the interactions he’d had and thinks oh--the way he’d always change fast in the locker room, looking at the walls and making no eye contact, making sure he’d never look around because he couldn’t bear for his eyes to linger and leaving as soon as he’d tugged on his shirt and tied his shoes, the uncomfortable attraction he’d had to that particularly strict football coach junior year, the claps on the back and knocks to the shoulder he’d give friends, feeling the contact for long afterward), and at the end of his service he just finds himself surprisingly comfortable with men, perhaps more than he’d ever been with girls back in school. That’s... pretty much the only thing the army makes him comfortable with. While he’s there, he becomes increasingly disillusioned with the United States military and the war he’s there to fight. He starts getting in arguments with superiors, and only escapes a dishonorable discharge by the fact that he’s shot in the stomach and sent home with a purple heart first.

(When Eduardo comes back to the States on leave and shows up at his doorstep hoping to reconnect, pick up where they left off, something, Jim throws him out with an anger he’s never quite felt before and can’t understand afterward, and that’s it for them... until recently.) 

Jim makes a full recovery and decides, while he’s in the hospital, that he wants to get a job where he can just help people--at first thinking idealistically, thinking about being a doctor or a lawyer or a case worker--someone he thinks could really make a difference. He starts trying to find a way to make this work in Gotham and inevitably runs into Barbara Kean, whom he reconnects with, and soon, she’s offering to fund his education and go back to school with him, and he can’t say no.

They move to Chicago, where Barbara goes to school and Jim takes night classes and works during the day to pay for their shitty apartment that he still couldn’t afford if Barbara(’s parents) weren’t footing the bill.

He gets through two years of school and leaves with an associate’s degree, feeling like he’s good for nothing. He wakes in the few hours he does get to sleep with nightmares from the army, and while Barbara is moving up, selling a few of her pieces and organizing galleries and rubbing elbows with high class people, he can’t find a career that does what he wants to do. Drinking in a bar one night (he does that increasingly regularly, coming home earlier and earlier in the morning and sometimes not at all), Jim sees a man trying to take advantage of some lady there and beats the shit out of him. The police are called, and Jim nearly gets arrested, but the lady steps in and begs them to let him go, saying he’s a hero. The cops give him advice: you want to be a hero, stop getting drunk in bars. Join the force.

Thinking that the army has ruined him for any career that doesn’t involve guns and violence, anyway, Jim joins the police academy. He moves back to Gotham while Barbara stays in Chicago, and graduates top of his class, the oldest recruit they picked up that year. He does his time as a uniform cop at a smaller precinct outside of Gotham, but his (sparse) education and military background, not to mention the reputation his father left behind as DA, mark him for better things, and within a year, he’s promoted to become a homicide detective at the GCPD. Barbara moves back to Gotham (back into the apartment she’d lived in since her undergraduate years, a big penthouse she’d never quite been able to let the lease run out on, for reasons that surely have nothing to do with the woman who still held the other key to it) and sets up her own studio and shit, and he moves back in with her, asks her to marry him, and everything gets all picked out. Jim starts the job investigating the Wayne murders. The rest, we know.

*The 1957 version, because somehow it seems like blasphemy to conceive of modern movies in the Gotham setting

**Okay, so this isn’t entirely accurate to Gotham canon. There’s a part in season one where Harvey is deconstructing Jim’s love life and says something along the lines of “let me guess: high school sweetheart, hoes overseas only made you sad, and then there’s Barbara,” which Jim more or less acknowledges. I guess the first time I heard it I misinterpreted the line and thought it meant that Barbara was the high school sweetheart, so by the time I realized that wasn’t it, I was already in deep with the headcanon... oh well. I explored that idea in this fic over here, if you’re interested. 

Now, Oswald, on the other hand... Oswald Cobblepot spends his childhood as the weird kid with the strange clothes and the faint foreign accent. He brings goulash to school in a thermos and is too close to his mother and has no friends whatsoever, but spends a lot of time at the library and, in his early years, gets top marks in all his subjects. He’d be a shoe-in for special attention or even a place at the prestigious private school on a merit scholarship, but that the teachers don’t like him very much (there’s some prejudice against him for his single mother and his accent, and for the smug way in which he knows everything they ask of him and more) and do nothing to help him get ahead. 

When he starts high school, Oswald decides to try and make friends. He kicks his accent to start talking more like the other students, and does his best to socialize, mostly with other kids in his smart classes. For one ephemeral semester, some of the girls find him cute and take him under their wings, inviting him to study and go to the mall with them. He’s definitely their “gay best friend,” although he doesn’t know that (doesn’t realize he’s gay) and in hindsight resents them for it. He does their homework for them and generally lets himself get walked all over in the interest of having friends for the first time in his entire life. It goes pretty well until they start inviting him to hang out with them when they’re with their boyfriends, and Oswald (who’s also never had a crush in his life) falls hard, still not realizing that what he’s feeling is attraction. He’s overly nice and asks the guys a lot of questions and offers them things and generally just fawns, which kind of freaks the dudes out (and naturally they get mad about it) while the girls get pissed off that he’s flirting with their boyfriends. Eventually, they just go back to bullying him like everyone else, and Oswald is alone again.

Oswald deals with Gertrude’s mental state on-and-off throughout his life. She’s a loving mother, and in her better times she reads to him and teaches him to cook and tells him stories of her childhood (though never of his father). In her worse states, she can tend toward paranoid and delirious, a product of her childhood fearing the secret police* while living in poverty, and can even lash out toward Oswald, thinking he’s someone else, or else refuse to let him leave their apartment, because she’s afraid he’ll leave her for better things like Elijah had. When he’s much younger, there’s a string of abusive boyfriends who give him a warped perception of what “love” and dating look like--ultimately, he’s pretty turned off to the subject. They either ignore or physically hurt Oswald, and hurt Gertrude emotionally, physically, and s*xually, especially when she’s in more vulnerable mental states. These states get worse as he grows up and starts coming home with increasingly bad injuries--she’s furious about the bullies, but doesn’t do much but smother Oswald in attention he grows to resent. 

Because of her instability, she’s in-and-out of jobs as a cook or a house cleaner, and they spend most years impoverished, Oswald having to mend his own clothes because they can’t afford new ones. Between caring for her and worrying about where dinner’s going to come from, Oswald’s grades start to slip, and eventually he drops out of school halfway through his senior year to work two jobs, as she’s too far gone to support them. He spends his days at a department store as a clerk (working retail is all the backstory Oswald needs to justify his misanthropy, lbr) and his nights as a dishwasher for some seedy bar he’s not old enough to visit. To make things harder than they should be, Gertrude is resistant to him going out, as she’s sure that he’s going off on dates with a hussy that he’ll eventually elope with. He still loves his mother, of course, but he’s starting to grow resentful of her mental illness and the degree to which he’s suffering--pushed around by assholes at work, up at all hours, hardly getting more of a rest than his lunch breaks and the hour between his shifts, and seeing his future as essentially ruined because of how high school experience turned out. Still, he has no obligations greater than his devotion to her, so he sets his teeth and bears it. Builds up a crazy level of patience, stamina, and pain tolerance, as well as a flood of negative emotions at the whole world. Every once in a while, on his rare day off, he’ll sit with Gertrude and and read her her novels, like she would read to him. She seems better during times like these; sometimes she’ll have him let her take over reading, and she’ll pet his hair. Sometimes she even has enough clarity to realize that she’s putting a huge strain on her son, and weeps, apologizing; he feels guilty, then, for all the resentment he’s got, all the times he thought about just running away. He works longer hours, tries to pay for medication for her. It’s showing improvement in stabilizing her moods, but at the same time, he’s operating on the edge of collapse.

Right when Oswald figures he can’t take it anymore, something changes: a young, fearsome Fish Mooney comes into possession of the bar Oswald works nights at and decides to change it into a respectable nightclub. She’s Falcone’s wunderkind, making him the highest profit margins, and so she gets pretty wide range for what she’s allowed to do. Most of the staff, she fires for boring her or for having the wrong “look” for her establishment, but when Oswald grovels to keep his job, she decides he’s funny, and besides, the groveling fuels her ego. She, like those girls at his high school, takes him under her wing; she first buys him a new suit (he takes eternal pride in it and washes it nightly; it starts off his obsession with fancy dress and presentation) and then gives him a list of jobs: he has to tend to various things around the bar and do a few humiliating chores, not the least of which include cleaning toilets, rubbing Fish’s feet, and carrying her umbrella. It’s demeaning, but honestly, he’s too thankful (then) to give much of a shit. 

She tells him to quit his other job so he can follow her around all day, and he protests that he’ll never be able to feed his mother--to which she responds that he’s getting a pay raise effective immediately. She’s got a soft spot for poor single mothers, after all. Now he’s got both a well paying job and more time on his hands than before--Fish is demanding, but not as demanding as two full-time positions. Used to working his ass off constantly, Oswald spends his newfound free time both entertaining his mother and studying to make up for the years of high school he missed--he gets his GED, and passes with flying colors. Thinks briefly of the life he could have had as an academic, but pushes that behind him. Too late to regret what’s already gone. Plus, he’s got a good gig--Fish is amused by him, but she’s also slowly starting to value his advice (if it’s given appropriately timed and with no one else around, a lesson he learns with great difficulty), and slowly trusting him with more of her secrets. Many nights it’s just the two of them at the club after hours, her complaining about some new issue, him doing petty accounting for her over a glass of wine. And as time goes on, Oswald starts to realize that Fish is Falcone’s most trusted ally, and he’s her most trusted employee. He’s got everything he’s ever wanted--his job’s enough to keep him and Gertrude above the poverty line, his mother’s mental health has at least partially improved, and he’s gaining influence in the mob. He’s not that surprised to find he’s got no qualms about this--the mob has given him shit he’s not gotten anywhere else, and after being put down and miserable for all his life, he finds no injustice in hurting other people to pave his way. When Butch Gilzean offers him a bat and lets him have a go at beating the shit out of some goon, the guy on the ground is everyone who ever made fun of his accent, every shitty guy who beat on his mother. It’s a good match for him.

So for a while, he’s content.

Then... Well, for the first time in his life, his basic needs are met without fighting every day to survive. Basically he’s tasted blood and he wants more, so when he realizes what Fish is planning to do about Falcone (sees it months before she even dares speak the concept out loud, in fact) he wonders if he couldn’t damn well do the same. 

So he starts listening. Writing notes at the end of the day, little tidbits of information. Who’s in on her scheme. How she’s going to do it. Moves she’s anticipating from him, and from Maroni. All the while, he’s planning. At the same time, the stress she’s under is coming out in the form of more abuse on Oswald’s head, and he’s growing more and more resentful of her. The first step of his plan becomes “replace Fish in Falcone’s inner circle.” He bides his time for nearly a year before the opportunity to set things into motion presents itself....

The Waynes are murdered. Gotham plunges into the deep. Oswald finds a way to survive.

*Isn’t there an episode where Gertrude talks about selling out a girl’s parents to the secret police? I feel like I distinctly remember that. Anyway, I’ve always felt like she was traumatized to a certain degree and the influence it has on Oswald is something we don’t talk about enough, so...

[fleetofshippyships-archive]

WIP tag meme

aaah, I was tagged over 2 months ago by @parkkate O.O sorry for not doing this sooner @parkkate​ XD I’ve been offline for a few months! Just now catching up on everything I missed! but I’m ignoring asks for now because my inbox is a mess

The Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous.

I’m gonna cheat and only do this for my drarry wips, since I post everything else on another account now, and tbh I have so many drarrys it’s still gonna be a long ass post XD

Oh man *sweats nervously* I’m a bit of a hoarder in all aspects of my life...I don’t even know where to begin! 

I’m not tagging anyone cos I was tagged 2 months ago and I have no idea who has and hasn’t done this and don’t want to be a pain. But if you wanna do it, go a head, and please tag me so I can be nosy and hopefully find someone with a wip problem as bad as my own so I can be less embarrassed XD

Also I’m putting this under a cut for reasons

1. 4th year au idea 

Sooooo, right off the bat, I often open a new file to jot down an idea even though I have docs specifically to dump ideas...and then at some point during the process of jotting down basic details of the idea...I start writing it....? This is one such occurrence...but I had to open it to check...and now I want to keep writing it XD

But also yikes it’s super dark

2. ... 4th year au idea

I swear, this is an entirely different wip and I am going ‘wtf’ at myself because wtf that’s confusing! I had also totally forgotten the existence of this before opening it....probably because of the name of it and the only reason I apparently have 2 files the exact same name is that one is a word doc and one is a libre office doc XD

3. drarry character death idea

Soooo, I need to stop turning idea files into wips without changing the names because I actually forget they are wips apparently

Also, I really want to finish this RIGHT NOW IT HURTS SO GOOD GIMME GIMME GIMME

4. Veela fic followup

LOL LOL LOL I’m rewriting my veela fic so I don’t know what the fuck I’m going to end up doing with this XD I might have to try and merge it with the re-write if the story has a similar outcome when I’m done. or maybe I’ll just turn this into its own thing....

5. Veela fic present tense

I really need to get back to working on this, this is actually the full re-write that re-doing the tenses spawned...I was binge writing this before my life went to hell but then my life went to hell and I went offline for like three months and didn’t do any writing or anything XD

although, the last time I looked at it I got the itch to change it back to past tense so who fucking knows what I’ll do with it now

6. Veela fic Draco pov

Curse my obsession with alternate povs of the same story and Draco for being such a good angsty pov

7. Veritaserum idea start

At least this one has ‘start’ in it so I know it is in fact a wip and not just an idea outline XD

7. Veritaserum

So, turns out I started that fic over in a new file and just left the old one lying around XD I do that too often. I should delete that other one...

Also...this better not turn into another ‘Amortentia’ with me unable to think of a fucking title and going with the file name because lame

This is also my first time trying to do god’s eye 3rd person instead of 3rd person pov...also first time trying to do this weird structure thing...I dunno but I like it XD

8.  CTS followup

9. CTS sequel

Two separate followups set at different times in the same story verse... I hate myself. I love them both. I can’t pick which one to stop writing so I’m gonna keep them both around and try and make them merge at some point...

10. MMB saying sorry

11. another erase the shame

12. next erase the shame

I work on followups and lose interest so often (usually because people bug me for followups and I get very ‘fuck you’ about it and stop writing them...but I keep them around and tinker with them every now and then soooo they’re still technically wips

13. Tea and Coffee oneshot series (Tea and Coffee, Coffee and Dark Marks, The Cottage Kitchen, next untitled one)

There’s also a present tense version of the first one of those *sweats nervously* first 3 are finished, of course, but my original purpose is lost to them becoming a long fic soo....gonna merge them into one long fic soon...once I decide what tense I like better......kill me now

14. Communion of the Soul (folder name)

This is the sequel to One Touch and this is spread across 5 files because apparently I did that and even though each time I got to work on it I have to figure out which file holds which part of the sequel timeline and which I feel like working on...I have yet to merge them into one file to make my life easier...

15. Crumbling Facade

ugh working on this always makes me want to re-write restraint and actually put in the major plot line, or what was supposed to be Harry’s major plot line before the relationship crap got away from me and I had to cut out all the plot stuff because by the time I got around to addressing it, it started reading like a completely different fic and I had to cut a huge chunk and end it instead, because back then I sucked more than I do now and couldn’t juggle

sooo...I still work on this in starts and stops and then get frustrated for having to stick to Restraint’s chain of events when I have better ideas now for working in Harry’s plot about his damn magic problem and ARRGEHGEHGFVEDHDBVUIOFNBFKDB EFBVJ

I should just let Crumbling Facade take me where it wants to take me and fuck Restraint

16. Potter’s Insatiable Heart

This is my longest wip at 130k XD and I’m stalling now because if I keep going with it where I was intending to go it will end up my longest fic and I’m getting intimidated by the length and how much work it will be to edit that long of a fic so I just go in and write a few paragraphs now and again, get scared of the length and move on to another wip XD

I also periodically binge read this bitch because I love it to death even though it’s severely flawed XD

17. Corset Drarry

oh boy, when I started writing this this I was weirded out by writing a kink I didn’t understand and kind of tailed off and left it...then I did kinktober for voltron and now I’m laughing at myself because corsets and lingerie is so fucking tame after that kinktober list and all the the crap I wrote for it XD

18. Music in the Periphery

Emily bugs me about finishing this a lot...I bug me about finishing it, progress is non-existent because I have a clear plan for it and when I have a clear plan I can’t write for shit

19. Saying Sorry (Round 2) (MMB)

I gotta kick that habit of starting over with something but keeping the first attempt and still working on it parallel to the second attempt, because then I wind up with 2 fics too similar to each other to post both and I’m completely unable to pick which one I like more *facepalm*

Also, MMB is dead if I can’t stop turning the next fic attempts into angst, I just look at that big fluffy mess and want to angst it all up

20. scrapped MMB ficlets - theo’s letter

not technically drarry thought the greater series is drarry...torn between making it mmb or making it its own fic for a rare pair

21. Weather the Storm

*cries* my 6th year war au, I have such plans for this, but the plans get in the way of writing =(

22. Soulmate AU (folder name)

fucking hell, this is 10+ files and I’m not naming all of them, current count is 5 completed versions 60k+ each, 1 incomplete alternate version, all of which I’m seriously unsatisfied with, none of which I can bear to delete, all of which I periodically go and tinker with, thus leaving them all wips i’m such a fucking hoarder but also I have never gotten over all the awful comments that were on the original soulmate fic on ffnet before my purge and now I can’t ever be satisfied unless it is perfect and wont result in such horrible comments again

23. Turnabout (folder name)

Once again, multiple wips in here of the same 60k finished fic I’ve been unhappy with since the moment I finished it and keep trying to fix by starting over and changing things here and there to change the course of the story. Honestly ready to hit the delete button with this one unless my latest attempt pans out, liking it so far buuuut I’m a mess about my writing so who knows

In the Ways that Matter was based off this fic XD

24. Dependency 

Oh boy, I abandoned this cos it was so dark I got too uncomfortable writing it...I’ve since started revisiting it after being in the Voltron fandom gave me a new tolerance range for dark content XD

Plan on posting this on anon if I ever finish it, obviously changing the title XD it stopped being relevant after the first 30k anyway 

25. Dependency V2

LOL light version of the above that removes most of the dark aspects while maintaining the core plot, but I’m finding it a bit dull XD not sure how long I’ll keep trying to chug along with it

26. *censored title*

hahahaha omg why is this in a different subfolder, this is actually one of the soulmate au ones only it’s actually a spin off au of the original soulmate one I from ffnet and therefore it’s new ground and I’m less unhappy with it

.....I’m probably going to stop working on turnabout today and work on this instead now

(censoring the name because I might post this on anon because I’m too scared to post another drarry soulmate fic under my own name)

27. Retrospection

Sooo, I’m always on and off this fic cos it triggers my anxiety and depression, but fuck that I want to write it so I keep trying XD

I’m also thinking of splitting the two main plots and only going with 1 and using the other to write another story....see if that eases how difficult it is for me to write without self triggering

28. Sequel to mornings

29. Sunrise (loose prequel to mornings)

30. Surrender

I had no idea what this was, opened it and then holy shit THIS BITCH, THIS SLOW BURN FRIENDS TO LOVERS PIECE OF BULLSHIT. I DON’T WRITE SLOW BURN! I DON’T WRITE FRIENDS TO LOVERS. I REFUSE.

but also I really really really love what I wrote so far and now I’m itching to write more *cries* making this list is leaving me with so many open files to work on

31. day 2 ass worship

32. day 3 sensory deprivation

*laughs nervously* the kinktober oneshots that starting turning into a long fic hahahaha cos I really needed more wips

33. Perception of Angels

*wistful sigh* one day I will be able to finish a heavily plot driven story full of fantasy elements and creatures and magic I made up, and when that day somes, Perception of Angels....or that timetravel war au drarry fic idea I have sitting around.....which isn’t on this list only cos I’m not stupid enough to start writing it

So that’s all the drarry files in my wip folder.... I also have heaps more for other ships and fandoms, but I’m keeping that separate =)

And...now I have some writing to go do, cos after 2 months of being unable to write thanks to the bullshit in my life, I started binge writing again 2 days ago =) and opening a few of these to remind myself what they were has a lit a fire under my ass