#'just get a job“ i am quite literally not allowed to ever be seen with cash near me let alone a bank card

[mxxnkirby]

computer how the fuck do I make $200 as soon as possible so I can afford a bus ticket away from here, no independence allowed, no rich friends. computer

[mod2amaryllis]

im just gonna be petty ignore me

are you ever training someone and eventually it gets to a point where you just like

give up on them lol

[transfemlogan]

idk if you were being serious lol, i have trouble with tone. but whats wrong with some of the ts critters?

which ones are "right" and whos just "shitting on anything"?

i am finally off of work & just ate a sandwich so now i can finally talk abt this.

please note: I am referring to a small group of fans within the critical side of things.

On both sides of the community, no one (hyperbole) can ever settle with a middle ground or have any sort of grey area. it's always extreme. it's always "thomas is the worst person ever & all of his actions r terrible" or "thomas is the best person ever & all of his actions are good", when in actuality human beings are complex and cannot be contained in one absolute or another.

Some TSS critical fans focus on things that absolutely do not matter or have the most wild takes I've ever seen. I was one in a sasi critical discord server awhile back and everyone was complaining about Thomas' posting his clothed ass on instagram ... he quite literally underpaying his employees. i think one of these is more important than what he does with his own body.

and the thing is there are some things that he does in regards to his body that IS weird, such as: why is he posting sexually as velma, a teen character, on his patreon which (at the time, idk if it is still now) is not age restricted.

but him posting himself in a spiderman suit where if you look REALLY hard you can "see his underwear" is not the biggest issue in the world. or him not wearing a dance belt in the same costume. sorry, but actually i think you're the weird one if you're focused so heavily on how his genitals look in cosplay! the way you guys talk about it is lowkey leaning towards sexual harrassment, and I don't know if Thomas has an opinion on it or not, but's its incredibly weird regardless.

Shitting on thomas & co, current & past, employees for breathing. there's a new blog going around mentioning how they "hate brei" bcuz she "always starts drama" and the drama that they're talking about is her getting laid off... like. thats not drama, i think an artist is allowed to speak about their experiences with a certain job.

I feel like certain TSS critical fans have such an unrealistic view on creators, in the same way certain non-critical fans do. where non-critical fans think he shouldn't be held accountable for anything that he does, critical fans think every single thing he does is inherently evil or whatever.

"thomas shouldn't be attacking people in his twitter replies" this is an inherently true statement, however there's certain things that really depend on what's happening.

What is this person saying under thomas' posts? Who is saying it? How is thomas reacting specifically?

someone who comments unhelpful & rude ass comments underneath thomas' posts, such as infantalising him by telling him "thomas, thomathy, my sweet child, learn how to wear a skirt!!!" does in fact deserve some heat back because that's fucking weird. telling thomas advice on how to pose for a photoshoot is also probably fucking weird. but a child (or even an adult) commenting how much they miss sanders sides because it's been 4 years? that's fine and deserves a lot more compassion than thomas gives them.

& then you see how some people dm him about certain things or comment on his posts about it, when none of it is warranted. yes it's fucking weird for you to dm him, a REAL HUMAN BEING, and tell him to "hurry up and finish the fucking video"!!!! but its ALSO weird for him to post your username publically knowing how big his fanbase is and knowing how they will react.

im sorry but some fans are, in fact, fucking rude ass cunts. & thomas is allowed to tell you to fuck off. but its important to know when thomas is allowed to do that and when some fans are not being rude ass cunts. thats the point of critical thinking.

and there is some entitlement within the critical side of the community. yes thomas does owe his fans things, no he doesn't owe you certain things.

it's not surprising that he gives sasi upsets on his patreon, it's almost like that's what the point of a patreon is. but he does owe those patreon users something, since they are paying him Money For promised content that never comes.

it's not surprising that he got upset you provided unwanted critique on how he's posing? in a photoshoot? and then didnt... "credit you for the advice" ... thats not exactly how advice works. he does not owe you that. But it is weird how he does take from fan creation and headcanons. after Joan (& thomas, im pretty sure) talked about how they don't like reading fanfiction because they don't want to steal from fans, only to go on and make logan's eyes orange.

(note: i do not know what that user's advice even was, since they never go in depth about it. so maybe it was warranted some credit and not a rude response, but i have no idea so I am going off what I know.)

A lot of fans, again on both sides of the community, think it's a very black & white situation. if one thing applies then everything else does to, when in actuality like .... situations are more complex than you guys expect.

sometimes there's just not a lot of nuance or fucking thinking that goes into some of these takes, and it's one of the reasons I dislike looking at TSS critical blogs now. its why i dislike the concept of a "critical discord server", because no one here can use critical thinking.

i want nuanced, intriguing takes and criticism. not random fucking baseless hate just because you want to shit on him. its annoyingggg!!!

[thorough-witness-enjoyer]

anon because im on the wrong blog rn but i wanted to say i really enjoyed your witness analysis post. i havent really seen many comparisons about the colonisation aspect of what the witness does (though to be fair, im not really in touch with fandom). so it was nice to these themes touched on especially so eloquently !

Greetings anon!!!

Thank you so much for the kind message!! I deeply appreciate your words as the Witness is a character that is extremely close to me, quite literally being one of my favorite characters in media ever and someone who revolves in my head like a rotisserie chicken 24/7!!!

I truly believe that if you don’t see the content you desire in the world, you should go out and make it, so when I didn’t see mountains of the most bitter vitriol towards the Witness, I knew I had a job to do!

I’ve been left to pick up the pieces of the Witness’ long legacy of reducing my people and culture to what is “palatable and profitable”, my family has a prophecy (a destiny if you will) that I will form my own Witness in this life to enact an ideology and force that idea on me, I was once a precursor who raged against a silent god by abandoning my self, I’ve met many disciples of the Witness in my life and many more victims of it. This character has been so firmly tied to my life that I just had to share my perspective with the world in an attempt to make people understand just how important the lessons we can learn from it are!! I could talk about the Witness for eons!!!

There has been a lot of Witness works ( fanfiction, memes, art work, etc.) produced and a lot of it has been absolutely phenomenal work!! They are all clearly created by people who have a deep affection for the character that clearly shows in their fantastic pieces and I truly love that, but a lot of what I saw left me feeling restless because none of it (from what I’ve seen) truly tapped into the absolute nightmarish nature of what this entity has brought down on civilizations. I really wanted to bring in another voice on this character because I couldn’t be moved so deeply by its defeat and sit still on it!!

Again, if no one is making the content you would like to see, make it! That’s actually the biggest reason why I started making posts for this blog, I wanted to help others see that there is much more to talk about when it comes to the Witness than its philosophical views on reality and it’s big eyes (as well as not keeping my trillions of thoughts in my head).

To me, characters as awful as it should always have their victims struggles voiced first and foremost and the Witness is much bigger than itself for it has forced its necrotizing fingers into the lives of everyone in the Destiny universe.

The story and focus will never be on the Witness for me, it will always be on its victims and their recovery.

I think about how I struggle to find traditional names for my heritage because everyone has a name from the beliefs of our imperialists instead of the victims they forced to be remembered as necessary casualties on a path to “civilization and salvation” and I am putting the Witness through a million glass tables.

I think about how all I know of my relatives who were born not that long ago was that they were only allowed to be “field workers and strong believers “ and here comes a massive anvil over its head.

Speaking on this matter, I am still working on a small thought dump on how Rhulk is a prime example of someone who sheds their cultural and personal ties to go from victim to perpetrator and it’s been hard!!

In all honesty, it has really taken an emotional and mental toll on me for how deep it cuts and how much of it reminds me of all that could of have been in the lives of so many if they weren’t groomed into believing that the only way to get justice for their lives (lives affected by the conditions the ideological groomers use to be opportunistic) is to take on a position where they are a subjugator, not the subjugated.

It’s very painful to write about and Rhulk as a character makes the very core of my being ache as every time I read Shattered Suns, I have to sit back and clench my fists at the invasive, predatory behavior the Witness displays towards Lubraens. Those same words it coerces Rhulk with are the same ones that resulted in hollow people in my life who were prideful in turning their backs on their cultural ways and community if it meant gaining the security and sense of righteousness the oppressors offered. The Witness preyed on Rhulk and turned him into something truly awful, something I see so often that I cannot stand by and not say anything on it.

I wish to see Rhulk content that does not focus on him just being a devoted disciple of the Witness or some super strong villain who’s cool, I really want to see more content touching on what happened to make him fall so far into the Witness’ clutches and views him as the victim he is! I want to make content that shows how REPUGNANT their relationship is and how Rhulk is an example of the need to provide preventative community and understanding to those vulnerable to ideological grooming, especially in our modern era where harmful beliefs are ever present and looking to find people to sustain them!

This is getting very long, but in essence, thank you! Thank you so much anon for your words!!

I truly believe in the importance of POC voices, especially black voices, in fandom spaces as we have been left out of a lot of discussions that have heavy implicit (and explicit) ties to race and culture when it comes to sci-fi and fantasy settings! We get strength from community and understanding, it is how we can better make fandom spaces comfortable for all!! By giving my views on the Witness and its ills, I wish to help the Destiny fandom understand some of the ties it has to real life issues and hope that it helps people be more conscious of the teachings in media they invest in!

It was so nice to see people contribute to my Witness post with their own connections or point out connections other people have made like with evangelicalism and Polish fascism. I’m very glad many people can unite on the fact that the Witness is abominable and that we can face irl Witnesses by defeating ignorance hand in hand!! My understanding and beliefs are always evolving with new information and I’m always happy to grow alongside others!

Just remember guys, make the content you want to see in life and if you are a POC, voicing your discomfort or offering your perspective on matters discussed in sci-fi and fantasy settings is essential to getting proper representation in media that is done with nuance and respect as well as help both audiences and writers craft better narratives!!!

And trust me, the Witness (especially the behaviors it displays towards Rhulk and it’s other victims) makes me deeply, deeply,

deeply

deeply

Uncomfortable.

I will never forgive the Witness for all it has done and I never want to see it pleased with its work EVER. The only redeeming I want to hear about the Witness is how it can redeem this coupon for my fist in its face, free of charge, guaranteed by me, filled with the force of all my relatives who did not live long enough to see that they could have always mattered in this world.

[ecogirl2759]

I am posting to literally every Fandom rn and I'm sorry but I neeeeed to get this out

I LOVE looking at Malorn Ashthorn through a very literal lense. Because that makes him literally one of the most tragic characters in Wiz <3

(Came back up after writing this whole post and realized it's kinda sorta very long. So, full rant is under the break ^w^)

Edit: Please forgive any spelling mistakes, I wrote this all on my phone, which sucks lol

Every time you go to Ravenwood, he's there. Malorn, without fail, is always standing by the crater at all times. (This is what I mean by literal lol, since his sprite just wasn't put in any other locations.) Other students keep coming and going throughout the day, able to take rests in their dorms and occasionally go on field assignments, but Malorn can't do that. He just has to stand there. Waiting.

He's practically forced to be there, too. He's "Acting Professor Ashthorn" after all. He has to be there just in case a student drops by, and everyone works on their own schedule. That includes all the other Death students, especially since they're on independent study and literally have no time table to work off of. So, to make sure he can actually do his job, he needs to be ready at all times. He needs to always be on the clock. He can't leave.

What's more, he can't even go to the headmaster's office. He can't leave his station, so he can't go negotiate with Ambros. He can't ask for breaks. He can't catch up on news. He can't give or receive progress reports, assignments or updates. Unless he's deliberately called, he is, quite literally, trapped in this catch22 of seclusion.

Malorn also can't further his own learning in any meaningful way. All his other fellow students are off on assignments, doing practical work and honing their spells. Not to mention that it seems--based on Penny's side quest--that Ambros is the one who gives them their work. But Malorn can't move. Even if he got assignments, he would never be able to complete them. He's literally not allowed to learn.

Also, no one really ever shows up to Malorn's little corner of Ravenwood anymore. The other students don't actually need to go to him for anything, since they know most if not all the same spells he does, as well as not needing to turn their assignments in to him. New lore suggests that studying Death magic is wildly unpopular now that Malistaire is dead/evil/dead again, and old lore states that the already existing Death students are actively being discouraged from continuing their studies / persuaded to study different schools. Considering how few Death students you come across in-game, (keeping in mind that they have to be out and about since they have no classroom to congregate in,) it's probably safe to assume that many of the previous Death students were successfully deterred. I can't imagine Malorn sees much traffic anymore.

Even after the Death School is found by the Wizard and classes are said to resume, (even though the connection to Nightside is unstable? Eh, anyway,) Malorn is never seen outside of his usual spot. He literally cannot go to class anymore because he's too busy being Acting Professor. He now has to stand there in his usual spot, directing students to the actual Death School. (Because no one can put the building back, I guess. -_-)

And Malorn isn't even recognized for his hard work, either! Despite always being as helpful and friendly as possible, doing a pretty great job at being Acting Professor (if you ask me), he's never rewarded. The Wizard graduates, and Dwargyn is promoted to Death Professor. AND MALORN STILL HAS TO JUST STAND THERE!

Though, that also calls into question whether or not he actively wanted the role of Acting Professor or not. Sure, he's great at it, and yeah, he makes the most with what he can. But is he Acting Professor because he genuinely wanted to take up that mantle, or is he Acting Professor because he was the best of the Death students at the time? (I mean, I imagine it's because he wanted to, but we technically don't know for certain.)

Last but not least, no one likes the Death School kids. Both in old and new lore, some of the kids express how creepy the Death School is to them. They think the Death students are weird and freaky. The kids are ostracized by the rest of the Ravenwood student body simply because necromancy gives them the heebie-jeebies. So for Malorn to be stuck in Ravenwood, all day every day, surrounded by people who other him and look down on him not only because he's a necromancer, but because (I imagine) some of the kids would see his title of Acting Professor as him "sucking up to Ambros" or "thinking he's as great as Malistaire was" or "looking down on other regular students" or any other number of uncharitable assumptions. It would be hard for anyone to handle that kind of treatment for an extended period of time, including Malorn.

Malorn probably feels an immense amount of pressure from everyone's expectations of him as a Death student, an honor student, and as Acting Professor. Even though there's nothing for him to do most of the time, he still has to do it perfectly. He can't afford to fail his classmates. His friends. He's now in charge of their education, so if they fall behind, he'll be the one to blame. He has to show Ambros that Death is still worth studying, even if Malistaire might be gone. He can't make the Death School seem weak in the eyes of the other students by slacking off or being inhospitable. So he keeps a smile on his face as he stands by himself, forced to play Professor without ever getting the recognition or power of one, all while still being a student actively in school, unable to grow and get stronger with his peers due to being secluded and forbidden to leave.

"Acting Professor Ashthorn" isn't even a Professor. He's just a lonely school boy, trying to do his best, yet always coming up short.

It's sad.

[call-me-little-sunshine84]

Behind Closed Doors (Jim Hopper x female reader ~ 18+)

Characters: Jim "Chief" Hopper x female reader

Rating: Explicit, Minors DNI

Words: 1.4k

Summary: Working at the Hawkins Police Department comes with more benefits than you thought

Warnings: SMUT, unprotected sex, oral sex

A/N: Just another smutty Hopper one shot, apparently I'm stuck on them. Hopefully they're good!

"Good morning, Chief,” you said with a smile when you saw Hopper walk into the station, just like you did every morning. And just like every other morning, he responded with a curt hello as he walked straight into his office and shut the door. You had been working as a receptionist at the Hawkins Police Department for a few months. It wasn’t exactly your dream job, but it allowed you to see him every day.

Jim Hopper was quite possibly the sexiest man you have ever seen. Tall and broad shouldered, he filled out his uniform so nicely. You had been trying desperately to get him to notice you. You were always finding reasons to go into his office, even if it’s just to offer to get him coffee. You were lucky to get grunted responses, forget having an actual conversation with him. I just don’t get it, you found yourself thinking. Had you unknowingly done something to offend him? He acted so cold to you most of the time, you had pretty much given up on ever having any kind of shot with him. You had decided to just go to work, do your job, and try to ignore the way he made you feel, ignore the fact that he was the subject of pretty much all of your obscene fantasies. Easier said than done. 

That’s why it caught you by such surprise when he stuck his head out of his office later that afternoon and yelled for you to come inside. You wondered what in the hell was going on, had you done something wrong? You got up, frustrated, and made your way inside. It was Friday and the workday was almost over, you really just wanted to go home and relax. “Close the door please,” he said as you entered, actually looking you in the eye for once. Am I in some kind of parallel universe you wondered. You inhaled deeply, the lingering smell of his cologne everywhere inside the small room. “Chief, what is this about? Did I do something?” you asked, as a million thoughts ran through your head. “Why would you think that?” he replied, raising an eyebrow at you. “Maybe because in two months you have barely spoken three sentences to me!” you said exasperatedly. 

“Why do you think that is?” he asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “I have literally no idea! I have made every effort to get you to talk to me and you avoid me like the plague. I don’t know what I could have possibly done to you in the short time I’ve been here!” you said, sighing heavily. His normally bright blue eyes darkened. “I was trying to stay away from you because I can’t trust myself to behave around you,” he said under his breath, and you thought you must have misheard him. “What!?!” you replied, your head spinning. 

“You really think I haven’t noticed you? Haven’t noticed the way you look in those skirts you wear, the way your perfume smells when you’re near me? It drives me crazy but I’m your boss and I was trying to stay away. I just don’t know if I can do it anymore,” he told you in a sudden fit of honesty. You stepped closer to him, closing the distance between you. You couldn’t believe this was actually happening. Deciding to match his bold admission you say “Jim, I have been lusting after you since my first day here. I have done everything I could to get you to see me. I want you with every fiber of my body.” 

Oh my God, did I really just say that you thought, knowing it was too late to take it back now. The words hung in the air between you. You noticed then that the blinds were closed and thought to yourself fuck it. Grabbing his uniform shirt, you pulled him toward you and kissed him, deeply and fully. It was like fireworks went off, sparks flying between you. He matched your kiss, wrapping his arms around you. Eventually he pulled back. “Are you sure this is what you want?” he asked, a questioning look in his eyes. “I’ve never been more sure of anything. You’re all I want,” you replied. 

The rest was like all your best fantasies made reality. He kissed you again, his tongue darting past your lips. He tasted like coffee, bitter and sweet at the same time. You felt all the tension leave your body as he completely took control, clearing his desk off with one sweep of his hand. He picked you up and sat you on top of the desk and you wrapped your legs around him, pulling him against you. You began unbuttoning his uniform shirt slowly, wanting to draw this moment out. You finally removed it completely, tossing it over the chair behind him, running your hands through his chest hair. He pulled your shirt off and left you in just your bra and skirt. 

The chill from the air on your bare skin made you shiver. He leaned in and began kissing your neck, making his way down your chest. The feeling of his mustache on your body set you on fire. He reached behind you and unhooked your bra, slinging it to the side. Immediately you felt his mouth on your nipple, licking and teasing, swirling his tongue relentlessly around the sensitive skin. You moaned enthusiastically, still not believing that any of this was real. He moved back up to kiss you again before laying you back flat against the desk. You cocked an eyebrow at him, then realized what he was doing as he lowered himself down in front of you and pushed your skirt up around your waist and threw your panties to the side.

Fuuuuuckkk you thought as he kissed his way up your inner thigh and settled his mouth on your already soaked core. He slowly ran his tongue up your slick folds to your clit and began circling expertly. “Yes Jim,” you hissed. You moaned as he slipped a finger inside you and began pushing it in and out in rhythm with his mouth. 'Yes, please, right there!" you yelled, unable to keep your voice down. At this point, anyone left in the office would without a doubt know what was going on inside.

This man absolutely knew what he was doing. The constantly building pressure had you squirming underneath him, grinding your pulsing pussy on his mouth. “That’s it, cum for me,” he said. Like it was a command, your body obeyed, white hot lightning shooting through you and leaving you gasping. He removed his finger and licked the taste of you off of it before raising you up off the desk. Just seeing that had you even weaker in the knees, desire spreading through you like wildfire. 

He removed his uniform pants, and you gasped in surprise. You had figured he would be big just by his body size, but damn. He spun you around and bent you over the top of the desk, your bare ass in the air, and parted your legs. He entered you slowly, giving you time to adjust to him. You pushed back against him, quickly letting him know it was okay to move. He still took it slow, repeatedly pulling all but his tip out before thrusting his hips and bottoming out in you. He did this over and over, hitting places inside you that you didn't know even existed.

“Oh my God, Jim,” you gasp, feeling your body turn to jelly underneath him. The sound of skin slapping skin filled the room with each thrust. He gripped your hips tightly and then moved at a faster pace. You felt your walls clench around him, and he groaned your name. You had never heard anything sound so sexy. You arched your back up against his chest, and the change in angle made him hit that spot inside of you, the one that made you see stars. Before you knew it, your second orgasm overtook you, and you could feel your legs shaking around him as it crashed over you. He followed soon behind you, the feeling of you tightening around him more than he could take. He filled you up, shooting his seed deep inside you. He collapsed against you with a grunt, eventually standing up and giving you a chance to get dressed before you started leaking down the inside of your legs.

The reality of what you had just done was heavy in the air. “So, see you Monday,” you said with a half smirk as you headed for the door. “Definitely darlin’, and be ready to stay late,” he replied with a wink and laugh. 

[fincalinde]

nice to see you back on here! if you're answering questions again, i've had something i've been meaning to ask, if you don't mind. do you have any thoughts on the things wwx and jc did for each other?

I'm never truly gone. Whenever you see a fox scurrying about its business in the twilight, I am with you in spirit. By which I mean I'm very busy but I do get a notif if someone sends me an ask.

This one has sat in my drafts for a while and it's still quite messy, but I thought I'd better just get it off the to do list and move on. So, the Twin Heroes!

I've seen quite a bit of negativity towards JC in my time, usually accusing him of all manner of iniquities that aren't actually supported by the text. To make my own position clear: I don't think JC did nothing wrong ever in his life. But I do think he's a capable clan leader and an extremely loyal brother who tried very hard to make things work with WWX.

Let's start with the biggie: WWX gives JC his core. It is an incredible act of love to be sure. Functionally it saves JC's life (he's not going to last long in that state) along with preserving the existence of the Jiang Clan itself. I don't have a problem with WWX making a unilateral decision here, because he knows JC won't agree otherwise and the stakes could not be higher. It also makes sense that the Grandmaster of Impulsive Cultivation conceals the entire thing from JC. He knows the effect the truth will have on JC, and he's just trying to get them through the current crisis and worry about the consequences later. So I think his choices are understandable in a desperate situation where there are no good options.

To be honest, what bothers me is WWX's subsequent dumbassery. My god, man, what is the point of making a monumental sacrifice for someone and then proceeding to fuck shit up for him on a regular basis afterwards?

WWX's behaviour is catastrophic for the Jiang. I understand that he's in his emo goth era and I don't expect him to make perfect decisions at all times, but the way he treads on JC's toes makes my teeth hurt. Quite probably WWX himself was never going to end up in a good place, since his demonic cultivation made him too much of a threat for the Jin (or society at large) to leave him in peace. But that's not particularly relevant to the way he undermines JC. On more than one occasion, JC is doing his best to navigate a delicate political situation and WWX clomps in with his size 13s and makes everything worse for everyone. This, as much as popular sentiment turning against WWX, is a huge driver in why they have to fake their falling out and sever ties publicly.

Meanwhile, JC makes an equivalent sacrifice for WWX—he lets himself be captured, even though it results in the loss of his core and, as far as he knows at the time, the functional extinction of his clan. This is revealed right at the end of MDZS, encouraging the reader to look back at the novel and recontextualise JC's actions throughout. JC put WWX above his own life and the continued existence of his clan. There can be no question that he made as enormous a sacrifice for WWX as WWX made for him. Their mutual ignorance of this fact for so many years is the heart of their tragedy.

But crucially, there remains a difference between WWX and JC. Because JC doesn't only come through for WWX when the stakes are high. Right up until the death of JYL, JC is the one trying to balance his responsibility to his clan with his desire to protect WWX. For a start, they fake the cutting of ties between WWX and the Jiang, when it arguably would be much less risky for JC to cut ties in actuality. JC is also the one taking further risks by allowing WWX to see JYL in her wedding clothes. He even suggests WWX gets to pick her child's courtesy name. These things show a pattern of consideration that WWX simply does not match.

Let's not forget, JC does a decent job as clan leader. He's very young, and unlike NMJ or LXC, he has to build his clan again from literally nothing. Disciples need to be recruited and trained from scratch. Lotus Pier needs to be rebuilt—without Jin gold. He's doing what needs to be done to ensure the Jiang Clan continues to exist, yet still attempting to balance that with his loyalty to WWX even as WWX becomes more and more of a liability. Yes, WWX is being affected by the resentful energy he's cultivating, but his arrogance has been present from the start. It's not that the resentful energy is creating new traits in him, but that existing traits are being exaggerated.

WWX does a lot of very admirable and brave things and he is pretty much always trying to do right by the people he cares about i.e. the Jiang and the Wenmants. The trouble is that he's fundamentally not capable of recognising the damage he's also doing. His altercation with JZX over the soup is one thing—though JC (with JGS) has to pull him off JZX and it makes a bad situation worse, it's an understandable impulse reaction to seeing his beloved shijie being mistreated. But despite the negative consequences of his impulsivity, he never learns to stop and gather more information before reacting (unlike JZX!). He continues to undermine JC by letting the whole world see that he doesn't respect his authority. This really is where I as a reader get stuck: what use is the grand gesture of the core swap when the more everyday consideration is so totally lacking?

I also think it's interesting that in the temple JGY points out to JC that if he'd stuck by WWX, no one could have done anything about it and things might have turned out quite differently. I don't think JGY is being truthful here; or at the very least, if he is being truthful then I don't agree with his assessment. It's a remark intended to goad JC and prod him where he's most sensitive, and it's successful in that regard. I'd be willing to bet that deep down JC does fear that if he'd backed up WWX then everything might have been all right and JZX and JYL would still be alive.

But it's simply not true. WWX's affiliation with the Jiang is catastrophic for them. He openly flouts JC's authority—and of course his demonic cultivation taints the Jiang by association, particularly in light of the Jin smear campaign. WWX's intervention to rescue the Wenmants is the last excuse JGS needs to do what he planned from the beginning: put a target on WWX's back. This isn't a post about whether or not WWX's actions to protect the Wenmants are moral; it's merely an observation that they put JC and the Jiang at risk by association, especially when WWX also deliberately insults the Jin in a public forum. The Jin don't exactly need to work hard to sabotage WWX's reputation: they're merely handing him the rope and he's merrily tying the noose. On a pragmatic level, an actual estrangement rather than a fake one would have been the more better option for JC if his sole priority was the wellbeing of his clan and not also his love for WWX.

On the other hand, if WWX had continued with his demonic cultivation but respected the authority of his clan leader and not undermined him in public, JC might have been more able to effectively protect him. I'm not entirely convinced by that argument, but I certainly find it more plausible than the idea that JC backing WWX would have prevented the consequences of the determined Jin smear campaign.

Essentially, my point is that I'm not splitting hairs about the degree to which JC and WWX love each other. Their love for each other is not in question. Nor is it in question that they have made equally huge sacrifices for each other. But there's the rub. What about the small sacrifices? Who is making those? More often than not, it's JC. JC has the weight of his clan's survival on his shoulders and he still does his best to remain privately loyal to WWX despite the risk it poses to his own position. He only turns on WWX when WWX's actions result in the death of JZX and JYL—JYL being arguably the only person they both love even more than they love each other. (Sorry, LWJ. You only make the leaderboard in Life 2.) Meanwhile, WWX is willing to give up his core for JC but not willing to make the effort to present a united front against political foes who are actively trying to destroy them. He loves JC, but I see no evidence that he respects him.

[shallyne]

The Diary of Feyre Archeron

Just a tiny fic too see if I want to continue it and keep this format!

Words: 800

TW: implications of neglect, manipulation and controlling behaviour

December 21st

Dear Diary (?) 

I never had a diary, I don't know how this stuff works. Mom gave me an old diary she had never used, it's the closest to a birthday gift I have ever gotten from her. I haven't gotten any cake like Elain or a grand party like Nesta but I'm not mad, at least I get the time to draw in my room without any interruptions. I've become pretty good! 

Rumor has it that a new boy will be at our school tomorrow, which is weird because it's two days before the holidays. It probably stays a rumor, it wouldn't make sense. 

Anyways, I think I'm going to sneak into the kitchen after mom went to bed, I'm getting hungry. 

Bye, I guess? 

December 22nd

Dear Diary, 

Today I have been blessed by god. I didn't expect to make another entry so soon but today the new guy looked at me. OH MY GOD, RIGHT? He totally smiled at me too!! (Delusion aside, he probably saw someone behind me. He doesn't know I exist.) 

I hate the stupid lights in the school but I swear the new guy’s eyes looked VIOLET in the light. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I'm totally going to draw himy he's GORGEOUS! Like the men on Nesta's book covers (that she's totally hiding from mom) but a hundred times prettier! 

Well, I have to finish my math homework now. 

Bye? 

January 2nd

Dear Diary, 

Christmas was pretty boring that's why I didn't write anything but today was insane! The new guy has a name, Rhysand (beautiful, right?) and he's in my history class! I actually quite like history and our teacher, Ms Weaver, even though everyone is scared of her but Rhysand made it hard to focus!! It's not like I'm mad about it because he's sitting like right in front of me and he smells like citrus and sea (Not that I sniffed him, I'm not a weirdo) he smells SO GOOD and I could just get lost looking at him all the time! 

Maybe he'll talk to me someday, wouldn't that be neat? 

Shit, mom is coming home and she sounds mad!!! 

Bye! 

January 4th

Dear Diary, 

Today I got Elain’s hand-me-downs! Finally, I've been waiting for this, I needed new pants. Mom refused to buy me new ones because it's my fault I got them paint splattered. It's only one pair that has paint on them, the others are falling apart! But arguing with mum is like arguing with a brick wall, it won't budge.  

I found a pretty blue jumper in Elain’s old clothes which makes my eyes pop! I will wear it tomorrow. Not because I have history class and will see Rhysand, it just looks pretty. 

I also got a job interview at a run down diner at the edge of the town! Mom can't know, she'd never allow me to work or if she would, she wouldn't allow me to keep the money, she always needs to have everything under control, it's so annoying. 

I'm not worried about not getting the job but I hope I can convince them to give me night shifts so mom won't know! Once she's asleep, she's ASLEEP! 

I'd say wish me luck but it's only me and the ink, so I guess I wish myself luck. 

So excited! 

January 13th

Dear Diary, 

I am dying. I really am. I'm barely able to write these words down. 

Fine, maybe I'm not dying really but it feels like it. I got my period and I literally feel like I'm bleeding out. I feel like someone is stabbing my uterus REPEATEDLY. Why would mother nature be so cruel? Why would my own mother be so cruel to still send me to school like this? That was a trick question, it's my mother. Cruel is carved in her bones and blood and brain. Whatever it is, I can't think through this agony. 

Mom says it's normal and I shouldn't be so dramatic and when I tried to talk to Elain she grimaced!! I mean, it's not her fault, I guess. Mom drilled it into Nesta and Elain that these topics are taboo. I think that's stupid because in biology they said periods are natural so why would something natural be taboo? 

It doesn't make sense, right? 

On a slightly brighter side, Rhysand talked to me yesterday and asked if I was okay!! I am aware he asked because I probably looked like death but a win is a win, right? And his smile when I lied and said I was okay, I was melting into a puddle! 

Okay, the water is hot enough for my hot water bottle! I'm gonna chill and listen go Red for the rest of the day until bedtime. 

Bye

Taglist: @captain-of-the-gwynriel-ship @starfall-spirit @rhysiedarling @corcracrow @sydney-fae25 @tothestarsandwhateverend @aayo-whatt @dreamlandreader

[peaceoutofthepieces]

could you write dialogue prompt #1 ("marry me") for post canon nick&charlie? maybe you could also include hug #13 or #22 ♡

Anonymous asked: 42 of the dialogue prompts with nick and charlie please 💛 I love your work

these prompts felt like they worked well together, so i’ve merged them—hope you don’t mind! (i’m assuming you’ll mind more that these requests were sent over a year ago, and all i can say for that is i’m sorry, i should have been more informative about the fact i am useless)

1. “Marry me.”

42. “You’re a complete moron!”

22. can’t stop yourself from hugging

The injury knocks Nick out—quite literally. It’s only brief, but the gap in his awareness is there; he comes to on his back in the mud, the shouts around him drowned out by his own groan and the pound of his blood in his ears. His stomach roils, and he gasps so he doesn’t heave, then gasps again at the sharp pain that pangs from his left ribs. He twists his body to press a hand to the sore spot and lets out a shout as pain zips through his right leg, seeming to span from toe to hip and back again. For a few seconds, all he can hear is ringing, and then the cacophony of panic overwhelms him. 

“Nick! Nick? Can you look at me? Hey. Can you focus on me?”

Nick blinks, then blinks again and again until the black fades out to the edges and he can make out the blurry lines of Reid’s face. His mate-slash-captain-slash-coworker looks more distressed than Nick has ever seen him, which is to say he remains fairly composed. 

“There you are, mate.” Reid musters a weak smile. “Just stay put, alright? Callum’s run to get Rogie.”

“Fuck me,” Nick breathes. Sharon Rogers is the school nurse, and Nick knows that despite her job being mostly limited to scraped knees and seasonal bugs, she’s got a fountain of knowledge at least far beyond any of his teammates. Still, the reassurance is lost on him; he barely hears the words before they’re forgotten again, blocked out by the pain shrouding him. 

He registers her arrival and responds to her questioning with mostly grunts and swear words. He finally clocks in when she tells him the ambulance is on the way. 

“Fuck,” he repeats, eyes widening and then clenching shut as his head throbs weakly. 

“You’ll be alright, Nick,” Sharon assures. “But you’re not getting up on your own. You haven’t broken anything in your leg, but you might have torn or sprained something. Nothing that can’t be fixed, but it hurts like a bitch. If you’ve done damage to your ribs or there’s any possibility of a head injury, it’s better to wait on someone more medically trained to move you.”

Nick makes a noise to show his understanding and focuses on managing his breath, which aches with every rise and fall of his chest. He’s glad to not be moved further yet—the thought alone makes his teeth grit against a wash of pain. Sharon mainly works on keeping him conscious for the next while. Her approval leads him to believe they succeed, but his awareness spaces out enough that his memory of the period is spotty. The paramedics arriving escapes his notice, and the next thing he knows he’s swearing in pain as he’s being loaded onto a stretcher. 

~^~

Nick’s ribs aren’t broken, but they are badly bruised. They ache with every rattle of his breath, and it sends the message of pain down his leg in zips and jolts. His leg isn’t broken either, but it is sprained. He’d pulled a ligament in his ankle and almost torn one in his knee. Thankfully, neither are severe enough to require surgery, but Nick isn’t finding much comfort in that at the moment. As Sharon had put it, it hurts like a bitch. 

It’s eased considerably by whatever they’ve doped him with, and where he felt overly aware of his body before, it’s become somewhat detached. Now, his mind is allowed to drift away and give him moments of rest. He loses time in fits and starts, only aware because nurses will appear at his bedside when he had been alone in the room the last time his eyes were open. Everything is hazy and dreamlike and he welcomes it. Anything is better than the nightmare of that initial fall. 

They’re keeping him overnight for further observation, which doesn’t overly bother him. When he catches a nurse with enough time to speak before they bustle away, he only asks her one question. “When can I have visitors?”

“Visiting hours start at six. You have family you want to see?”

Nick shakes his head, then stops, furrowing his brow. “I mean, yeah, but—I just want to see my partner. Charlie. He’ll be panicking about me.”

The nurse brightens, her smile warm and indulgent. “Husband?”

It comes out without any real thought. The idea of not seeing Charlie is unbearable. Nick doesn’t even consider it for a moment. “Yeah,” he lies. 

“I’ll send him your way as soon as I can.” She winks at him and bustles away still smiling, which makes him feel sort of nice. The days of doubting his sexuality and feeling scared any time he had to say words like ‘boyfriend’ are long behind him, but their effects will always linger. Getting such a warm response about his husband from a stranger is uplifting. He smiles dopily in response before he catches himself. 

He isn’t seriously thinking about that. Is he?

The medication must be strong. 

He drifts in and out in the time between speaking to the nurse and, apparently, the start of visiting hours, because before he knows it, Charlie’s rushing towards him. 

“Nick!” Charlie’s at his bedside in a blink, and there he hesitates. Nick reaches out, and it’s apparently all the permission Charlie needs. Just like that, he’s lurching forward like he can’t stop himself and giving Nick a fierce hug. 

Around the head, at least. He is, thankfully, clearly aware of Nick’s injuries and trying to refrain from touching him in any way that will hurt. Hugging Nick’s head to his chest is a compromise, Nick’s sure, from Charlie not being able to hold himself back entirely. 

Nick, personally, has no complaints. He reaches his arms to embrace Charlie in return before there’s an explosion of protest from his ribs. With a wince, he lowers his arms back down and settles for pushing his head against Charlie’s sternum. 

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Nick murmurs, slightly slurred. Despite the flare of pain, the drugs are still clearly working. 

Regrettably, Charlie pulls back, but Nick is content enough to be able to look at him fully. That is, until Charlie deals a sharp flick to his forehead. 

“Ow,” Nick says. “That could be dangerous. I could be brain damaged.”

“You’re a complete moron!”

“Wow. Love you too.”

With a huff of exasperation, Charlie shakes his head and snatches up Nick’s hand. Charlie threads his other hand through Nick’s hair, and it’s only when Nick notices it trembling that he further notices the tears threatening at the corners of Charlie’s eyes. 

“Hey,” Nick says softly. “I’m sorry. It’s nothing serious. It’ll take time to heal, but then I’ll be completely fine. I am fine.”

Charlie swallows and briefly takes his hand from Nick’s hair to scrub over his eyes. Then he nods. “Tell me what happened?”

“Bad tackle. Mainly my own fault, though. Slipped in the muck and went down funny.”

“God, Nick.” Charlie pulls the chair from the corner to the side of the bed and sits, grasping tightly to Nick’s hand once he’s settled. “I thought when you went from playing to coaching, I could worry less about you getting injured. I thought when you went from coaching to primary teaching that I wouldn’t have to worry at all.”

Nick closes his eyes. “I know, I know. I just…you know I still love it. I thought just having the friendly matches wouldn’t be much to worry about.” He sighs. “But maybe I just have to accept I’m getting too old.”

Charlie huffs softly, leaning forward to card a hand through Nick’s hair again. “I think that might be a bit of an exaggeration but I also have to agree.”

“Wow. Thanks, love.”

“You were the one that said it!”

“Yeah, and I was joking. It’s the drugs talking.”

Charlie snorts. “Strong stuff, hm?”

“Must be.” Nick hesitates, then decides it could end up much more embarrassing if he doesn’t admit the rest. “I, uhm, might have already lied about some other things.”

Nick realises his mistake when Charlie’s eyes widen and he clutches a little tighter to Nick’s hand. “What? Is it worse than you’ve said?”

“Is—oh, no, no. I’m fine, Charlie, I promise. Well, okay, not perfectly fine, but it’s nothing serious. I wasn’t talking about that.”

Charlie leans back in the chair. “Okay…”

“I just, uh, might have said something stupid. To the nurse. About you?”

Charlie’s expression grows increasingly confused. “Why were you talking about me?”

“I was asking about having visitors and explaining I just wanted to see you, and like, she just kind of assumed.” Nick flicks his gaze away. “I just didn’t correct her.”

“Nick, I honestly have no idea what you’re trying to say.”

“She thinks we’re married,” Nick blurts, and Charlie blinks. “She—I told her I just wanted to see my partner, you, and she was just like, husband? And I thought if I said no maybe you wouldn’t be allowed in to see me because you’re not, like, family—even though we are regardless of that—and so I said yeah and—”

“Oh my god, Nick.” Charlie cuts Nick off, covering his face with his free hand. Nick’s heart dips towards his stomach, and then he realises Charlie is laughing. 

And suddenly Nick’s offended. “What’s so funny?” 

“You’re not dying, you idiot.” Charlie huffs. “Of course I can come see you. It’s not restricted to family only.”

Nick frowns, defensiveness bubbling somewhere amongst the drowsiness from the drugs. “But, like, Covid and everything.”

“Nick, that was literal years ago.”

“Yeah, but, it changed the hospital restrictions.”

Charlie nods, eyes wide and amused. “Years ago.”

Nick opens his mouth, then closes it again. He squeezes Charlie’s hand. “I didn’t want to risk not seeing you.”

Charlie’s following sigh is much softer and, Nick likes to think, more fondly exasperated. It’s with loving laughter that he reiterates, lovingly, “You’re an idiot.”

“Well, if you’re going to be like that—”

Charlie silences him with a kiss, which is, honestly, fair. Nick has no arguments or complaints. He has said enough stupid things today as is that it’s probably safer his mouth is otherwise occupied, at least for a time. 

Then, with Charlie’s mouth still only a breath from his, he’s saying, “And, honestly…when she said it, I didn’t want to say no.”

Nick categorises the words as a mistake the instant they leave his mouth. It isn’t because they aren’t true; it isn’t even because he thinks Charlie will react badly to hearing them. It’s because he isn’t supposed to say them here, like this. It’s because it’s nothing they haven’t implied before, but it cannot become more than implication, not in any way less than Charlie deserves. The shiny silver band residing in a velvet box in the depths of Nick’s underwear drawer—the only item of Nick’s clothing Charlie does not make a habit of digging through—is less than Charlie deserves, but it is at least more than this. 

Nick’s sure, as the distance grows between them, that Charlie agrees, but Charlie surprises him. He strokes a thumb over Nick’s cheek and offers up his softest smile. “It does have a nice ring to it,” he murmurs. 

Oh. Nick swallows. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Charlie nods. “Don’t you think so?”

That’s an obvious enough tease that Nick huffs. “You know exactly what I think.”

Charlie rests his arms on the bed and his chin on top of them, gazing up at Nick sweetly while remaining careful of Nick’s injuries. “Tell me anyway?”

“Charlie,” Nick groans, rolling his head away. “This is unfair. I’m not in my right mind.”

Charlie snorts. “Are you ever?”

“Oi.” Nick glares at him, but there’s no heat in it. He drops the expression completely when Charlie leans in and kisses him, another short peck that draws another slew of idiotic words from him. “I’d like you to be my husband,” he whispers, comforted that the words don’t have to travel far, leaving his lips to be almost immediately swallowed up by Charlie’s. “I’d like to be your husband. To marry you, someday. You know that. You’ve always known that.”

Charlie’s gaze burns against Nick’s, and his next kiss is sure and insistent. Nick loses himself in it. His sore ribs strain and he doesn’t care, can’t find it in him to be bothered by the pain, can barely acknowledge it under the all-consuming want. He has always considered Charlie a safe place, the one place he could turn to and immediately feel soothed, and it’s proven now. Charlie is a more sufficient balm than any drug. 

“You should,” Charlie murmurs as he pulls away, and Nick furrows his brow. “Marry me,” Charlie clarifies. States, really. 

Asks, Nick realises. 

He stares and stares and Charlie simply waits, nervousness lurking in the deep blue of his eyes but the hints to a sure smile on his lips. 

“You mean it,” Nick says, realising it’s true as he says it. “You’re actually asking me right now.”

Charlie nods, smile simultaneously growing and becoming more hesitant. “I swear it wasn’t how I planned it. You deserve the best proposal ever and now I don’t even have your ring with me. But honestly, I haven’t been able to figure out how I should do it and I have no idea what would be considered the ‘right time’ and you’re kind of proving either of us could die at literally any time and I don’t want to miss—”

“Yes,” Nick cuts him off. 

Charlie blinks. Pays back Nick’s long stare. “Yes?” he questions. 

“Yes, of course I’m going to fucking marry you,” Nick says. “I can’t believe you stole the proposal and you have a goddamn ring too and neither of us have them on us, but yes. Obviously yes.”

The joy that lights in Charlie is instant, laughter falling from him in chimes of disbelief. “You got me a ring?”

“You damn well know I did.”

“Yeah.” Charlie beams. “Yeah, I figured.”

Nick grabs Charlie’s hand and squeezes. He runs his thumb familiarly over Charlie’s knuckles and imagines the feel of metal under his skin. He looks up from their hands to find Charlie watching him, equally enamoured. “Fiancé has a pretty nice ring to it, too,” Nick says.

Charlie squeezes his hand in return. “Yeah. It does.”

[hyukascampfire]

hello ashlynn! i, 🌰, have very impressive procrastination skills and one of them involves finishing a 300-page book in record time. so it’s the wicked king time baby‼️ (SPOILER ALERT this time because too many things went down in this book.)

first of all, your favourite character turned out to be a traitor ??? there probably are other things i could begin with, but i genuinely didn’t expect that. i have yet to understand why the ghost believes balekin could help him fulfill his duties towards dain better than cardan and jude when balekin not only threatened dain while he was alive but also quite literally murdered him 💀 also, justice for heather— i know that deep down vivi means well but holly black does a good job at portraying how different the faerie psyche differs from the mortal one, thus making a romantic relationship between the two extremely difficult. ultimately, it’s clear that one of the two has a greater price to pay and it’s often the mortal who does so. it’s like how madoc and eva’s relationship ended in tragedy and watching vivi and heather’s relationship evolve (and deteriorate) in real time makes jude realise that this could be her future if she allows herself to love cardan. oh and, speaking of cardan… i have seen what that tail can do. not exactly my thing but i do see the vision lol i’d kind of started warming up to him but what the fuck was that ending ?? all that for fucking BALEKIN whom everyone hates ??? and i swear everyone collectively hated valerian so much that no one batted an eyelash when he died at the hands of mortal jude although he literally was a regent kid of faerie. i won’t start questioning cardan’s whims because he’s technically a medieval king and medieval kings are just Like That™, but my guess is that he’s exiling jude not to punish her but because he believes it’s the best way to protect her…? especially now that there’s chaos with the undersea and lord roiben’s court of termites (or has that storyline been solved already?) also, the isle of ash he just casually created at the end? 💀 ok edge lord

either way, i love how the author shows that dain’s geas on jude is not only a boon but also a bane— it’s part of human nature to seek beautiful lies and escapism in the face of suffering, and the fey clearly know it’s something they can exploit. but i find that there’s a little more comfort in knowing what is being done to you rather than learning about it in retrospect. and taryn……. yeah. on one hand, i don’t want to be a hypocrite. jude manipulates and deceives for the sake of her own interests, so there’s no reason why taryn can’t indulge in those dangerous games as well. however, i am THE reader so ofc i’m rooting for the fmc !!! get out of the way taryn !! it’s so fascinating to see how jude comes to resemble madoc more and more as the story progresses. the mixture of pride and contempt one for the other. you’re so right about how interesting how their dynamics are. and the whole “you can be happy and successful but not happier and more successful than i am” thing madoc and taryn have with jude. it’s so real. you can love your family endlessly and still envy them for receiving the affection you never got and realising the dreams you never did.

wow, this might actually be the longest ask i’ve ever sent ( > < ) i totally understand if you need time to reply (it’s also ok if you type a short answer lol i won’t be mad about that!) i’m so glad you recommended this series, i’m loving it ♡ looking forward to reading the queen of nothing after i’ve turned in my last assignment of the year AAAAA

remember to take frequent breaks and to stay hydrated. keep warm! love u!

p.s. idk about the people but i sure as hell yearn for beomgyu.

IM SO EXCITED AHHH okay

yes my fav character is absolutely the ghost 😭😭 from day one. i was so hurt when this happened. yk who my least fav is tho?? BALEKIN. i hate that fugly rat. i annotated some of the first book and the first thing i wrote for him was ew cause i hate him. a lot.

and YES holly black was so amazing throughout out the whole series about highlighting the difference of the human mind and the faerie mind. as much as vivi wants to live and belong in the human world, she doesn’t get it all the way. and heather, poor heather (i love her) has to put up with it.

i have seen what that tail can do 💀💀 the ending of this book had me absolutely gobsmacked but OH MY GOD you’ve gotta see what it turns into in the next part. also cardan edge lord LMAOO he rlly is just like that™️

and taryn… she does scheme in her own way. as opposed to jude’s path to fitting into elfhame by burning her own path, taryn took one of the two beaten paths. i understand why she did. but also… she just annoys me with the way she speaks i think 😭 i have a sister so ofc i know it is so true to life, but like you said, man i just root for jude >.<

my favorite scene in the whole series comes up in the next book and just know that i am going to gush to you about it when you’ve read it 🫡 GOD i love that scene. so much. hehe

i’m wishing you so much good luck on your last assignment, and thank you so much for the big message, love!! i love talking to you about stuff 🙂‍↕️

thank you and i absolutely will ♡

(i also yearn for beomgyu still it seems that the people yearn for taehyun hehe)

[necrophilemagpie]

why this whole thing has such a grip on the brain

is the oc insert because i am obsessed in putting the dragon in situations? perhaps, but frankly

it's mostly about putting the trio in situations because the canon doesnt quite have anyone who'd provide the exact flavor of sheer identity crisis

[whoops this thing is way too long]

someone that is revealed to, before all of this, to have for a very long time simply kept on living in the human world anyway despite their inhumanity is arguably a description that doesn't... add up cleanly ideologically with how Hellsing operates, does it?

Though, funnily enough, 'ordinary human' doesn't apply cleanly to even any of the actual literal human major characters of the story except for maybe the wild geese.

There is a reason Pip has to give the speech about grieving the burning city and Sir Penwood had to make his strategically important sacrifice. The Iscariots dont read like normal people enough for something like this. Integra may be a sort of messy symbol for humanity narratively but the way the actual story treats her?

She's as much an outsider to humanity as the monsters are.

Been that way since that fateful day since she was 12, depending on how you imagine she was raised, maybe has always been to a degree.

Highly doubt Integra had much of a taste of normal human society. She's clearly not even remotely friendly with the other knights. Sure, she found Penwood amusing but i highly doubt they were in any capacity close. It doesn't appear the woman even Really leaves the manor outside of her job. We see her in civilian attire Once for fucks sake and it felt very 'what are normal people clothes again' to me personally. Walter and the vampires are realistically the only real close relationships she really ever had.

Seras too, has lived through something incredibly traumatic as a child and has been given no community or support, seen as at most a nuisanse. We do not get any mention of an adoptive family or other previous life to come back too, and its a context where in real life omission alone would be very telling.

Through that she has arguably too been robbed of being 'allowed' to be truly human long before she became a vampire. She was around people, sure, public school, foster care, what have you, but I somehow doubt a girl with severe ptsd would be understood much considering the time Hellsing is set in. If you're unwell as a kid you quickly learn just how conditional the care of strangers can be. Even if on paper they're meant to take care of you. She's kept up a mask of humanity with varying success but likely had known very little warmth a human life supposedly entails.

Alucard is strongly implied to believe that his humanity was torn away from him. He openly mourns it, but feels like he's been all but thrown into the grave of undeath by being forced to protect himself, and he's since only dug it so, so much deeper that he can scarcely see the sun anymore.

The very idea of being anything besides monstrous is very ludicrous to him, and he's so very jealous, of anyone who seems to have had even the slightest bit of a choice.

He was impatient and annoyed with how long it took Seras to accept her new nature because to him. It confused him to no end why Integra would never just make it official and admit her humanity was too incomplete to keep.

monsters are one way, humans are the other.

Humans have friends and family. They have homes to come back to, take care of each other, like many other animals they play and express individuality. They love, and love in uncomplicated, unconditional ways.

Monsters are inevitably alone. There isnt really a place for them to belong, they're solitary and must learn to enjoy it. Violence is, if not enjoyable, grimly necessary to a monster. A monster's attachment to others is a laborious, painful thing.

There is a clear line. You can't be both, you can't be one but keep some traits of the other.

But that's just one way of thinking, is it?

The dragon certainly starts out fitting so very neatly into the monster box. Glassy eyes, little priorities, truly alien relationship to the self. Their illness makes them appear like something that Should be dead. The way they seem to rationalize their situation comes off arguably even less human than even Alucard does.

And that would make sense! They weren't human for hundreds upon hundreds of years, in fact they were never human at all. There are some universal human experiences like how most acessible in modernity human food tastes or childhood they are fundamentally external to.

But as time goes on, as they realize that for the first time in the last few years, they're fine to stop running on empty and rest? As they find it safe enough to speak earnestly? The line gets increasingly blurry.

They start to talk of first sensible subjects like music and prose and history, but increasingly you'd find they're not simply 'making polite civilized conversation,' no. They've known some of the histories they speak of first hand, were friends with some of the writers mentioned even. They're intimately familiar with Making music, what goes into a play, and know a surprising amount about notably dated by now music production hardware and software. There's silly stories they have on hand to share.

Community to the degree Integra likely hadn't really ever known.

They've accepted certain few as siblings, they even apparently know how to take care of a child. They are currently the primary caretaker of their mysterious """benefactor's""" child because 'the woman might've wanted the kid but doesn't much care for raising one.' They genuinely care for the kid, and not Just because its someone else hurt by the same person. They seem to have Opinions on what's good for a child that seem to come from experience. It's not their first time around.

The culture to whom the human that caused them to exist belonged to? They still identify with it. Kept track of the family even, for actual hundreds of years they've been the distant relative that visits sometimes.

They seem to earnestly love the people they speak of and miss those no longer alive or who've they been unable to reach for the past nine years, which is most of them.

Family in a way Seras struggles to even imagine having.

Their illness, though something specific to nonhumans, is suddenly rather easy to recontextualize as a collection of individual rather human symptoms. Integra even has similar complaints about her joints. Their sometimes stilted speech isn't hard to accept as a mixture of something like neurodivergence and having modern english be about 5th language they learned. Humans do plenty of these same things with gender and sexuality too, thats nothing too special.

Even their suffering under the control of the woman in red, if you pay closer attention... starts looking a good bit more like plain old domestic abuse.

Yet they're very obviously Not a human, they say as much too.

The way they grieve is from a different angle, from one colored by hundreds of years of losing people, unable to forget even one. The way they love is similar, encasing every moment in amber of their eerily clear memory. They know too much historical context for every aspect of society to take much seriously, looking right for the outsiders of it for something truly interesting.

For fuck's sake, it's barely even blood what courses through their veins, even their internal anatomy is a touch off.

Somehow though, they lack Alucard's characteristic violent self hatred about it. Even in their current situation, having the very 'justification' for their abuse be that they're not human, they are very firm in the fact that being a dragon IS a cornerstone of their identity, that its not something that can be removed or altered, they wouldn't particularly want to be a human, and they're not worse off for it, they just Are who they are.

At peace with their belonging outside of humanity. Something Alucard swore to never be as much as complacent with.

They dont come in trying to challenge anything particularly, they just happen to be the kind of person the trio's worldview hadn't truly been tested against.

If any luck, maybe it'd get them to give some much needed attention to their own traits that have never quite fit the ideology either.

You know.

The real reason Integra had long known she wants Hellsing to cease to exist, at least in the way it does now.

Besides, it's kind of pointless rummaging through the shadows searching for boogeymen when monstrous humans are just as real.

"the woman in red" as the dragon calls her, may just be one.

[justdaniel-eh]

I wanna ramble so it's time to talk about

⚙ MINISTER ⚡

Pre-warning: this post is gonna be a LOT cos I don't think I've talked AnoVerse lore much publically. I will do a public AnoVerse lore breakdown at some point. Or at least what I'm fine with revealing.

Also, I really hate how there's no yellow text honestly I cannot keep sufficing for orange, that's not Minister's colour that's Danny's 😭

Gonna be so real guys help I have no idea how to put his little patchy beard into the smaller format god send help (in short, the sprite is still not done)

Minister is our teams unofficial leader, not just by being the oldest (in his late 20's roughly), but also because he's by technicality the one who really started it all. Though, in the end of the day, the 4 of them have never even discussed the idea of a team name let alone roles or positions haha. Minister himself is a massive nerd engineering, mechanics, and science. He spends a lot of time locked down in the basement, tinkering away at little inventions, but ends up needing to go out and about now and then anyway.

His most beloved creation is Myr (seen to the left of Minister in the sprites above), his handy assistant robot. She follows her creator most days - the two only splitting if Minister is needed in two places at once, or if Minister needs an extra pair of eyes on the house. He would probably go crazy if she were to ever break or get damaged.

Minister's story though is also our beginning to AnoVerse. Appearing out of literally no where in Faremont roughly a decade ago, he began making a name for himself, fixing and creating devices for the townsfolk. The money he saved from these jobs allowed him to save to begin building his own house on the outskirts, sick of the noise the city brought, and also just wishing to be more isolated and alone.

Then one night in late Winter, there was a knock at his door. A poor kid stuck out in the cold and snow, needing a shelter to stay in. Minister really wasn't one for unexpected visitors, but alas he couldn't leave a child to freeze in the snow - and thus, Deejay began staying at Minister's house.

The two eventually formed a bond. Deejay got Minister to become a tiny bit more open and less isolated, even if it was with him. Minister gave Deejay a place to call home. Generally though, that's all you need to know for now.

Above: Minister in his early 20's, shortly after Deejay appeared into his life, and before being fired from his job at the time.

Anyway, here's a list of Minister's relationships with other characters

I am about to name drop a ton of characters I haven't quite mentioned before be ready LMAO

As previously mentioned, Minister provided Deejay a home. Between the other 3, Minister has the closest relationship with Deejay. Someone he can confide in and rely on when he needs to.

Minister's relationship with Another is... rocky. You'd imagine Minister to be closer with one of his creations, much like Myr. But something about the way Minister looks at Another, you can see hints of... disappointment? It's odd and not something Minister wishes to open up about. The two generally tend to never speak 1 on 1 unless absolutely necessary.

Minister doesn't know much about Danny... just that he kinda barged into the house one day, made himself at home, and Deejay convinced him to let him stay. Though, he feels the less he knows the better.

Minister and Grant Evco (AnoVerse's main villain/the head of Escenic for those who do not know) have a complicated history. One that kind of stays in the past... but it really impacts how much they seriously dislike each other now. Though, for what it's worth, they still have enough respect to not destroy each others reputation.

The final major person in Minister's life is Samantha Heel - the head of defensive operations for Faremont City. The two end up working together a lot due to the amount of times the government commissions work off of Minister, but have had history before even then as they have both worked in the same company on a couple occassions in the past decade. And though Minister will never confirm anything... They might be sneaking off together now and then. She's definitely the person he's closest to, maybe barely just above Deejay.

Above: my favourite piece of Minister and Deejay. A remastered piece, originally from a comic. All done by @/evilredyoshis. I cannot stress how much art she's done for my projects in previous years, as usual go drop her a follow or show her posts some support.

This. Is a really long post. For something that I probably need to give LOTS AND LOTS MORE context and world building around before anyone even touches this.

Anyway that's all goodnight hehe :))

[victorluvsalice]

Merry Christmas Ace!

@ace-of-tales Hope you're doing well! I remembered your request from ages ago -- another installment of the "Klaus, Leona, and company end up in Secundus" series we've been doing for a few years now, showing the Libra team battling a Blood Breed in the city and everyone being very impressed and intrigued by their battle skills. Enjoy!

Also That Is Too Much Blood For One Person

“I have to say – I really did not expect there to be so many ways to fashion weapons out of your own blood.”

“It is extremely impressive, isn’t it?” Alice said, watching as Klaus hit the “Blood Breed” – a tall, pale man sporting claws, fangs, and an expression suggesting he wished he was anywhere else right about now – with. . .well, to her it looked like an axe, but as Klaus kept smacking the Blood Breed with the bit she thought of as the “handle,” it was probably an overly-fancy blood sword instead. “They really know what they’re doing.”

“I should say – did you see the white-haired one? Zapp, I believe?” Christopher said, pointing him out as he darted away from a swipe of the Blood Breed’s claws. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone slice up a monster so quickly! And with a sword technically made out of liquid no less!”

“It looks like it crystalizes once it’s outside their bodies,” Richard said, extending his neck to get a better look at the action. “Though, in that case, you’d expect all those blades to be a lot more fragile. They seem to be able to take quite a few hits!”

“Honestly, I’m most impressed with Steven,” Victoria admitted, looking over at the Blood Breed’s minions, currently standing literally frozen in place on the sidelines. “I still don’t know how he did that, but – goodness me, he barely even blinked, and they were just completely out of the fight!”

“Leona told me that that particular party trick involves him turning drops of his own blood into little needles that burrow into his victims, allowing him to flash-freeze them,” Alice told her. “Which is – disconcerting, to say the least, so we should all be grateful he’s using it on the side of good.”

“Really,” Victor agreed, before flinching away as another gigantic spray of blood came very close to his face. It formed into a fancy wall, then slammed into the ground, just in time to halt the Blood Breed as he tried to flee. “I think we can say that for all of them, frankly.”

“Indeed – we’re very lucky that they’re all as keen on fighting and eliminating monsters as I am,” Christopher said, puffing out his chest slightly. “And that they were here for the day when this particular one showed up! I don’t know how well my own sword would have done against this beast.”

“I’m sure you would have been just fine,” Victoria said, with a loyal, loving smile.

“I just wish they’d end it already,” Emily squeaked, half-hidden behind Richard. “I do not like the size of the teeth on that creature!”

“I think they’re trying to weaken it in preparation for the final blow,” Doc assured her, as Richard put his arm around her. “What did Leona say? They need to learn the Breed’s true name before it can be sealed?”

“Yup – that’s her job, to try and learn the name from its aura with her special eyes while the others keep it busy,” Alice said, then spotted a small figure running up to the hulking Klaus. “And if I don’t miss my guess, I think she’s just figured it out. . .yup, here comes the dramatic blood again. . .”

A few more words shouted in a language none of them understood, and suddenly Klaus’s blood wrapped around the Blood Breed like mummy bandages, forcing his form into a T-shape before shrinking down and solidifying into an elaborate metal cross. Klaus picked it up, tucked it away, then turned and waved to the onlookers. “You’re all right over there?”

“Fine!” Marty yelled back. “Awesome work!”

“Quite the show!” Alice added.

“Very impressive!” Christopher agreed.

“How are you not all anemic?”

All eyes went to Richard. “Hey, it’s a fair question,” he said, shrugging. “None of the blood ever seems to go back in their bodies.”

Emily facepalmed. “Richard. . .”

“Uh – never really thought about that?” the one called Zapp said, blinking. “Until now, anyway?”

“Don’t start having existential crises now,” Alice called down. “How about some tea instead?”

“Indeed! My treat!” Richard said brightly. “I think we could all use some!”

“That’s for certain,” Klaus mumbled, then gave them a small smile. “All right then – lead the way.”

[thankyouforthememoriesworld]

🔎 random thoughts on the series and uconn

As a Storm fan that got to experience Stewie 2018 and 2020...what in the world did I watch?!?! Even from a stats perspective, ever since Stewie left for Liberty, her efficiency has gone down 10% overall and down nearly 25% from 3 in post season. Just painful to watch (although not as painful as watching Sabrina literally miss everything). Liberty fans should thank god for Jonquel Jones and Sabally and Leonie (and the refs).

I think I am most heartbroken for Phee. Like as a Storm fan, I hate the Lynx getting ahead of us but I wanted it for Phee because overall, she was incredible.

The series is probably what I would describe as an ugly grindfest with unnecessary drama because no one can finish the job lol. The number of times huge leads didn't matter smh. Like I enjoyed it but also hated it??? Anyway here's to hoping Gabby comes back to the Storm and we win again.

Also after the literal bloodfest of this series, I have decided I want Azzi to wait one more year before entering the draft. I am terrified at the pace and physicality when she just got her knee back. Let's take some time to fully strengthen it and work on skills training the same way Paige did. Also allow all these wnba teams to settle after firing coaches before they had the chance to rebuild fully 🙃

If there is one thing this series taught us: clutch efficiency from 3 is a hot commodity. Not volume shooting that wastes time. We need Azzi to showcase her ability to be clutch. If anything, I fully believe the only way UConn wins this year is if Azzi is the best player on court. Paige can play anywhere from 50 to 100% her level in her natural position or out of it - each iteration we have seen showcased, but it wasn't enough. She can't win it alone. She needs her other half to be the best player. That's the only way they are winning - it is the only iteration we have never seen. Just my opinion, of course. For me, the best version of Azzi is a level above Nov 2022 Azzi. That's a tall order to ask for after an ACL but I fully believe she can get there by March. If that Azzi shows up, it is over for everyone else.

This final was incredible but also frustrating for neutral viewers. I really thought Stewie was going to pop off last night and win it for NY, which didn't happen 😭. And Sab needs contacts because her shot in the final was so bad ☠️ (if Courtney played like she used to and the refs gave them 1 or 2 calls, the Lynx would have won with quite a few points).

I'm glad Nyara and Leonie put on impressive performances and were able to illustrate that Europeans are actually pretty good at basketball 😁.

JJ was the NY player who stepped up big time, but I would have given the Finals MVP to Phee (I know they only give it to the winners, but she was the best).

I think Azzi will be staying for another year to finish her Masters and to finally have a healthy pre-season. I need to see at least a season where Azzi and Paige are going off together in games, this is necessary for my happiness.

[swimminginlakes]

Toxic relationships

Unfortunately, some of us don't realize just how toxic your relationship was until you get out of it. So here's some shit that my ex did that I'd never let anyone do to me now :]

told me he'd break up with me if i went to see my favourite band (and that's why i didn't go, SHAME!!!)

getting mad at me for not eating a lot at his new years eve party when i explicitly told him i wasnt gonna eat much (had a weird relationship with food at that time and recently returned from the hospital for it) and never standing up for me when his parents asked me if i thought their house and food was unclean

always made fun of me together with his parents for the jobs i had to work (his family was quite wealthy and they always let me know, while i had to work to support myself and my gradma who raised me because my parents fucked off when i was little)

getting mad at me one year for not coming to another new years eve party cause i didnt want to leave said grandmother alone

getting mad at me for forgetting condoms at my house and not bringing them over (he refused to keep condoms at his house because what if his parents found them !!! that was honestly one of the stupidest fucking things ever said by anyone but oh well, i was young lol)

always judging me if i dared buy fruit or veggies because they are expensive and i was complaining about having no money (but i refuse to eat foods without veggies, im not a monster)

getting mad when i didnt wanna have sex (because honestly he wasnt that good at it and he was silent through the whole time so i felt creeped out)

screamed at me for forgetting the condoms once (apparently he thought i was cheating on him because his ex did that and clearly i was the same because i was a woman... then again, he could keep the condoms with him and we wouldnt have this problem)

we were supposed to move in together but he wouldnt take my suggestions when it came to the house, and always rather asked his parents. naturally i got mad because it was me who was supposed to live there so i told him to move in with his mommy cause im fucking done with his behaviour. he didnt talk to me for 3 days and then messaged me asking if im willing to pay for the furniture and that his parents are driving us to IKEA, because they picked out the perfect bed and whatever. told him to go to hell

his parents and grandparents always kept talking about how highly intellingent he is and how lucky i was to have met him but he couldnt even read the instruction manual to build a garden shed without my help so where the IQ at? (this isnt really toxic but it fucking pissed me off hearing how perfect he is when he couldnt even buy fruit at the store that wasnt already moldy, like how dumb can you be to not check my guy)

his parents always asking me if i can cook well because how else am i gonna take care of him???? ????? what do you mean? why can't he cook himself? that's literally a basic human skill and if he can't do it he shouldn't be moving out of your house where you do all for him, even wipe his scrawny little ass (he couldn't even do that properly, he had skid marks every fucking where. it was truly disgusting)

told me if i don't let him read my diary it's a sign that i'm hiding something from him. i said i'm allowed to have private thoughts that he doesn't know about and he didn't talk to me for like a week

I'm sure there's much more. I just randomly started thinking about it yesterday because i was reading my old diaries and have seen how far I've come and how different I am as a person now.

[rookthorne]

just gonna bring this to light… again 👀

hehehehe

It was hard to sneak glances at someone whose job it was to literally watch your every move. But Steve Rogers was worth attempting to steal glances at.

and with how stupid I’d be, I’d make it blindingly obvious too. 🤣

Even when he wasn’t wearing the tight fitting tux he was currently donning to fit in with the smartly dressed crowd of high ranking officials and diplomats, your personal bodyguard Steve Rogers looked like a god carved from stone.

I LITERALLY SEE NOW WHY THAT PIC GOT YOU

You had to will yourself not to continually stare at the man, but every now and again, you occasionally allowed yourself the selfish pleasure of a short glimpse.

I feel like this is a lie, I would do more than a short glimpse. 👀🤣

And even though it was his job to keep you safe, to watch over you as if his life depended on it, it never failed to make your stomach flip and heart flutter to find him already looking at you.

But he could never quite mask the hint of tenderness in his eyes that only existed when he looked at you, and the anxious, desperate need to know you were safe when he lost you in a crowd for five seconds seemed to go well beyond his obligation as purely your bodyguard.

mate, you’re gone. doomed.

An awkward silence fills the room as neither of you quite know how to bid each other goodnight. You didn’t want to remove the warm blanket of security Steve’s presence never failed to provide.

Steve wanted to tell you all night how beautiful he thought you looked, but you’d heard that same praise from every gentleman who greeted you tonight - it wasn’t exactly the refreshing compliment he needed to be able to convey just how much he adored you.

okay. okay, okay, okay. why did I tear up.

If there was one thing Steve Rogers was certain about, it was that he would never be good enough for you. Only in his dreams did he deserve you.

Imma slap this boy into THE NEXT CENTURY

Being around him makes it hard to think.

-about anything but that dick

😏😏😏

SORRY 🤣

However, it’s your name, muttered as a strained moan, which catches your attention as you’re trying to make up your mind.

oh? oh oh oh? 👀

But when your eyes land on Steve’s large figure sitting at the end of the bed, pumping his fist over the largest dick you’d ever seen and hearing your name cascade as moans from his lips, you know you can’t simply shut the door and let him continue by himself in the next room.

fucking PLEASE I-

Hearing your name more clearly once you enter his room gives you the boost of self confidence you need to make your presence known. It isn’t until you close the door behind you, the latch clicking, does Steve finally realise you’ve caught him in the act.

“I’ll let you in on a little secret-” You drop your voice and lean in closer so he’s able to feel your warm breath against his ear lobe, “I’ve gotten off to the thought of you too.”

I can hear him short circuiting from over here.

You’re gonna kill him! 🤣

“Princess, you mean a lot more to me than just a quick fuck.” His voice is shy, his eyes vulnerable, as if they were about to shatter like glass.

OH MY GOD JUST KISS HER AGAIN

PLEASE

FOR MY HER SANITY

As you take him fully in your mouth for the first time, a strained gasp of your name falls past his lips, followed by a rumbling moan from the back of his throat.

voice kink go brrrr

“Stay with me tonight?” He asks before you even have the chance to catch your breath from how he’s looking at you. He chuckles at your surprise, before continuing with a smile. “I did say you meant more to me than just a quick fuck, and I meant it.”

I am still trying to catch my breath from that and now MY HEART IS GONNA BURST

“I promise I’ll make it up to you.” He says, rushing to get his trousers back on, but making sure to stop his hurry to give you a sweet kiss before he leaves.

YOU FUCKING BETTER holy fuck-

“I’m holding you to that.” You mumble against his lips before you watch him shrug on his tuxedo jacket and head out the door.

I dunno about you but I would be watching his ass.

That is America’s Ass.

I mean look at it!

LOOK. AT. IT!

phew 🥵

can you do something of steve rogers like you’ve both kinda had feelings for each other but never said anything and one day you went to go hang out with him and caught him jerking off 🫣

Nonnie, you like the idea of Steve jerking off thinking about you and moaning your name? Me too

At Your Service

Bodyguard!Steve Rogers x Diplomats Daughter!Fem!Reader

Summary: As your bodyguard it’s Steve’s job to look out for you, when you find him in a compromising position, it becomes your turn to look after him.

Warnings: strictly 18+ only, NSFW, masturbation, blowjob, dynamic where Steve is meant to be protecting reader and they catch feelings

Word count: 2.3k (I really did try to keep this short, oops)

A/N: thank you for this inspiration nonnie, I hope you enjoy 💙 banners by @maysdigitalarts

Masterlist | Ask me anything! | Library

It was hard to sneak glances at someone whose job it was to literally watch your every move. But Steve Rogers was worth attempting to steal glances at.

Even when he wasn’t wearing the tight fitting tux he was currently donning to fit in with the smartly dressed crowd of high ranking officials and diplomats, your personal bodyguard Steve Rogers looked like a god carved from stone.

You had to will yourself not to continually stare at the man, but every now and again, you occasionally allowed yourself the selfish pleasure of a short glimpse.

And even though it was his job to keep you safe, to watch over you as if his life depended on it, it never failed to make your stomach flip and heart flutter to find him already looking at you.

Steve was always the first to assert that his detail of you was strictly business, purely a job to earn a living. Keeping you safe meant keeping his assignment.

But he could never quite mask the hint of tenderness in his eyes that only existed when he looked at you, and the anxious, desperate need to know you were safe when he lost you in a crowd for five seconds seemed to go well beyond his obligation as purely your bodyguard.

After a long night of shaking hands and faking smiles, all to please your father who only brought you along to give the appearance he was the charming, family man, you trudged from the large function room to your hotel room upstairs for a well deserved night's sleep.

As per protocol, your bodyguard had to perform a sweep of the room upon arrival, ensuring that everything was safe for your stay.

“Make sure you stay away from the windows-” Steve warns, closing the curtains even though it was pitch black in the cool night outside.

“Don’t make myself an easy target, I know.” You finish his sentence knowing his spiel word for word by now, prompting a bashful smile to curve on his lips. There’s a glint of pride in his eyes, as if he was never sure if you were ever listening to his security ramblings, but now knew for certain you had been.

An awkward silence fills the room as neither of you quite know how to bid each other goodnight. You didn’t want to remove the warm blanket of security Steve’s presence never failed to provide.

You always thanked him for his proficiency in protecting you. But a simple thank you didn’t even begin to cover the many ways in which you were grateful for him.

Steve wanted to tell you all night how beautiful he thought you looked, but you’d heard that same praise from every gentleman who greeted you tonight - it wasn’t exactly the refreshing compliment he needed to be able to convey just how much he adored you.

He knew how smart you were, how you could run rings around anyone in attendance this evening with your wit and intellect, and that your role as the good natured daughter was one you were far over qualified for. But you didn’t need an uneducated, glorified chaperone to tell you that.

If there was one thing Steve Rogers was certain about, it was that he would never be good enough for you. Only in his dreams did he deserve you.

So, instead of voicing aloud the continuous stream of praises he had overtime come to think of you, he settled for a simple “I’ll be right next door if you need me.”

“Thank you.” You want to sound more eloquent than the same words you always used to commend him after each of his assignments, but no string of words you could think of in this moment seemed to truly encapsulate how highly you regard him.

Being around him makes it hard to think.

So instead, you rise to your tiptoes, lean over and place a delicate kiss to his cheek. With flushed pink cheeks, Steve flashes you a kind smile before disappearing into the next room, taking your sense of security and your heart with him.

It takes you a couple minutes to escape the elaborate dress you’ve been wearing all day, but finally you’re able to breathe properly again. Putting on some sweats, you’re caught tossing between letting your tiredness consume you and going straight to bed, or if you should take some time to decompress and watch a movie.

However, it’s your name, muttered as a strained moan, which catches your attention as you’re trying to make up your mind.

At first you think you’re imagining it - it’s been a long day and you must be on the brink of delusion with exhaustion. Perhaps going straight to sleep is the best option.

But then you hear it again, coming from the door Steve walked through just minutes prior.

And that’s when you see it - the door slightly ajar.

When you hear your name again, and you know for a fact that it isn’t all in your imagination, your curiosity gets the better of you and you decide to take a quick peak before promising to shut the door.

But when your eyes land on Steve’s large figure sitting at the end of the bed, pumping his fist over the largest dick you’d ever seen and hearing your name cascade as moans from his lips, you know you can’t simply shut the door and let him continue by himself in the next room.

If it weren’t for the alcohol in your system from the couple glasses of wine you’d had at the event earlier in the night, you’re not sure you would’ve had the courage to pass the door threshold, but your feet seemed to have a mind of their own, driven by the desire between your legs.

Hearing your name more clearly once you enter his room gives you the boost of self confidence you need to make your presence known. It isn’t until you close the door behind you, the latch clicking, does Steve finally realise you’ve caught him in the act.

The tips of his cheekbones and ears blush bright red as he frantically stuffs his fully erect and leaking cock back into his pants, mumbling an incoherent mess of embarrassed apologies and profanities. His bright, sky blue eyes can’t quite meet yours directly as you approach him near the end of the bed.

“Don’t get shy on me now, Stevie.” You smile flirtatiously. He opens his mouth to apologise again, or perhaps to berate you for waking in on such a private moment, you’ll never know as you interrupt him before he can get a word out.

“I’ll let you in on a little secret-” You drop your voice and lean in closer so he’s able to feel your warm breath against his ear lobe, “I’ve gotten off to the thought of you too.”

The surprise in his eyes, which is also shown as a sharp intake of breath, is quickly drowned out by lust as he surges forward, large hands cupping your face as he kisses you passionately.

The feeling of his soft, plump lips moving against yours is better than anything you’ve ever dreamed of. As his tongue slips into your mouth, your hands roam down his toned body, searching for his thick cock you got a glimpse of earlier.

Before you’re able to get your hands on anything valuable, Steve breaks the kiss, shaking his head as he pulls away.

“We shouldn’t be doing this.” He states unconvincingly, feebly keeping you at arms length. The glaringly obvious erection in his pants contradicting his words. “My job is to protect you.” He tries to further justify, but he’s doing a terrible job at being convincing.

“So let me thank you for it.”

A timid chuckle is not the response you’re expecting, but there’s a conflict raging like a storm behind Steve’s eyes which you’re much more focussed on relieving. It takes him a moment to muster the courage to decide to speak on his turmoil.

“Princess, you mean a lot more to me than just a quick fuck.” His voice is shy, his eyes vulnerable, as if they were about to shatter like glass.

“Stevie…” There are feelings you’re unable to verbalise, that are left unsaid, only conveyed in a knowing, tender and affectionate glance. “Please, let me help you finish what you started.”

Steve gulps back the nervous lump in his throat before nodding his head. Those same wide, blue eyes that you’re so used to protectively watching over you now keenly observe your every movement as you push him back on the bed, sinking to your knees and tugging his pants down to his ankles by the belt loops.

Just like Steve himself, his dick is gloriously and deliciously large - heavy and exquisitely thick in the palm of your hand. His flushed red tip weeping precum has you licking your lips in anticipation, you can’t wait to finally taste him.

Though you’re unsure if your mouth is capable of taking all of his magnificent length, you’re always up for a challenge.

Placing a couple of teasing kisses to the soft, sensitive skin of the inside of his muscular thigh, moving closer to his twitching cock with each one, you look up at Steve to find his warm gaze watching you with a mixture of endearment and excited anticipation, prompting a surge of devotion to bloom in your chest.

You start by spreading his precum along his slit with your thumb. A tortured whine escapes Steve’s lips as you lick a stripe up the underside of his shaft, and with a smug smirk, knowing that you haven’t even begun the most pleasurable part of the experience, you swirl your tongue around his tip.

As you take him fully in your mouth for the first time, a strained gasp of your name falls past his lips, followed by a rumbling moan from the back of his throat. You keep pushing yourself further down his length, stretching your jaw as wide as it will go, wrapping your hand around what you can’t fit in your mouth.

Steve’s drawn out fuuccckkkkk as you hollow your cheeks and drag your mouth back up his member only spurs you on, determined to take every inch. Slowly swallowing his shaft until his tip hits the back of your throat, you continue the routine until you’re gagging on his entire dick, your throat exquisitely squeezing his tip, your nose nuzzles his pubes, and tears trickle from the corners of your eyes.

“Shit Princess, oh fuck, yes, right there.” Steve’s hand finds the back of your head to keep you choking on his cock until you gently slap his thighs, the sign you need to pull away for air.

The saliva drooling from your mouth as you draw back makes Steve groan. With this lubrication, you start to pump his member, taking a second to catch your breath, but you’re already obsessed with the feel and taste of his thick cock in your mouth, so once you’re ready, you relax your jaw and begin devouring him again.

When you look up at him through your lashes, meeting his gaze as you sink further down him, the erotic sound he makes goes straight to your pussy, and you can feel the pool of wetness soaking through your panties.

When you start cupping and fondling his balls while simultaneously gagging on his cock, he throws his head back and you know he’s done for.

“Fuck, Princess.” Steve’s breathing is shallow and you can feel his balls start to contract under your light touch. “Please, I’m gonna cum.”

You can tell he’s expecting you to stop so you can tell him where you want him to cum on you.

But there’s not a chance.

You want to taste every part of him, and that includes every drop of his cum. You don’t ease up, continuing to suck the life out of him at a relenting pace until you feel his warm spend shooting to the back of your throat, before you finally give him some relief.

“Holy shit.” Steve sighs as he heaves for air, watching you show him the remainder of his climax on your tongue before swallowing in one gulp.

Even though you’ve just performed a lewd act, your chin covered with your own spittle and have the remnants of dried rivers of tears over your cheeks, originating from the corners of your eyes, Steve still looks at you with warmth and adoration.

“Stay with me tonight?” He asks before you even have the chance to catch your breath from how he’s looking at you. He chuckles at your surprise, before continuing with a smile. “I did say you meant more to me than just a quick fuck, and I meant it.”

You stand up from your position on your knees, never once breaking eye contact, before you lean in to kiss him. You’ve only had one taste, but you’re already addicted to him, needing your fix and wanting to get high on the taste of him any chance he gives you.

Once you’re again mesmerised by how his lips feel on yours, Steve’s phone starts ringing continuously on the bedside table. Reluctantly, he pulls away from you to check on it.

“Shit.” He swears under his breath as he quickly types and sends a message, punctuating it with a large sigh. “There’s been a security breach - I’m sorry but I have to go.” The severe disappointment in both his voice and his eyes makes you feel slightly better about his imminent departure.

“I promise I’ll make it up to you.” He says, rushing to get his trousers back on, but making sure to stop his hurry to give you a sweet kiss before he leaves.

“I’m holding you to that.” You mumble against his lips before you watch him shrug on his tuxedo jacket and head out the door.