#'ive never hoarded anything in my life not even my child!' | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

anestheticrage · 4 years ago

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Be me: Japanese honor student🎓, 15, with half a brain and even less of a plan. Hunting bitches by day and witches by night. Livin that dank only child✌️ life while mom n dad yeet all over the globe, leavin me plenty of time to forget not to make 2 lunches for myself #quirky 😜

no time for socialization or basic electronics skills ???📱??? when your best friends are an alien demon rabbit🐰👽 and the inexplicable Hole ™ in your brain. lmao, btw did i mention im ✨M✨A✨G✨I✨C✨A✨L✨

dreamin bout my 2D waifus again when familiar pink haired cancer patient dances through my brain passin out fliers: Kamihama Meguca Dating Service: Sponsored by Cult of the Magius. 250 stones per session 🤔

seems legit, Mr. Moneybags. wasn't spending my unwieldy sack of gemstones on anything else anyway. lets pull 💎💎💎

first up we have Redhead Radagast and her plethora of plants. 🌿☺️🦎

anndd, nearly dies immediately.

well not off to a great start but i guess shes pretty cute at lea- oh FUCK its her girlfriend, Tsundere Poseidon😒🔱💦, and their exasperated, straight and single Sword Mom 😔🗡️🔥. fml gonna have to save up for the next pull. might as well play a few rounds with what i got tho.

get in some good girl talk about things like school, color coded hair styles, body count, permanent soul damage, and our personal demon pacts. ya know, the usual 😚 . realize my dark backstory seems to be missing, so the girls take me to Ketchup Queen Sappho 🍅🥧 (wtf?) to molest my glowy egg stone. whatevs, more action than ive had since Kuroe 🖤 got added to the story anyway

the gang agrees it's time to hunt down the cutest rabbit pimp 🕶️🐇💵 in the city. >> say 🎵mukyuuu🎵 one more time and ill hug you so hard my backstory will pop right out, you adorable fluffy bastard. plz be my new best friend 💕

Form brand new friendship pact with Kyubae, and remember that my lil Sis 🐥 was always the best wingman for pickin up magic chicks, and kept her side of the room so spotless i forgot she existed. whoops 乁༼☯‿☯✿༽ㄏ Maybe if I find her i can stop paying these exorbitant pull fees.📵💎

speaking of which: hot damn this week's featured bachelorette is a 19 year old model and magical detective🔎 with massive levels of PTSD and self loathing 🥵💙💦 more likely to stab you or dramatically jump off a rooftoop than utter a single positive comment. wow, maybe i really COULD find true love…

... if i had MORE THAN A 1% FUCKING DRAW CHANCE. 😡 smh

hard to make much progress finding sis or winning the broken heart of a hard boiled detective amidst the never ending lover's quarrel of the Trident Vine Lesbians. 💔 Sword Mom tells them if they don't behave a monster will take them away. LOL classic mom 🤣

>>>HOLY FUCK IT DID

declare all-out war on urban legends, starting with staircases ⚔️ to reunite the dysfunctional trio, and hope that I net a way better lineup with the next 10x pull. at least sad sleuth lady came to help out. they say combat is the best way to bond wi- and there she goes off the rooftop again 🙄 fml

alright that got way off track, we need a fresh start, away from all the loli drama. how bout a little B&E🔓🔨🤷🏻‍♀️ at the local house of worship to clear my head. ahh nothing like the unanswered prayers of the masses to get you in the mood for another wasted pull, and the 🔥 MIGHTIEST 🔥 headache you could ask for with a side of Double Cooked Pork 🐖🍜 (meh 5/10🧾)

venture forth into the spiritual unknown with your new human flamethrower🔥🌻🧡 and ask your favorite private eye to please, for the love of Eve, trade Meguca accounts with me~~~ Head through the eastern spirit portal to meet up with hologram propaganda sis and detective crush's evil ex, who joined a dating-app cult (#fuck) and also turned into the moon?🌕?(that's rough buddy)

get ambushed by Acid Horse on Wheels 🌈🐴 and vomit up my soul so hard that its time for a crossover episode. T U R F F F W A R R R *que operatic harmonies* 💛 Blondie with the hair drills and enough attitude and guns to fill up a noble phantasm tries to ban my account permanently, but PI heartthrob denies her admin privileges. aww babe i didn't know you cared. 😭♥️

get kidnapped by my new true love and go back to her place 😏 defs enough empty rooms to house five emotionally traumatized girls and at least two ghosts hehehe👻 XD 💚🃏💜🎸 decide to form the anti-gossip brigade and recruit my blazing sunflower after getting ambushed by the witch living in my fruit loops🥣

❌outvoted 2:1 that cults are bad. mf. fiinneee one last pull to round out the team and then I'll delete the app. cmonnn Karin 🎃~

OH HELL YEAH TWO FOR ONE.

Always wanted a daughter 💜🔨🐄 with a penchant for pissing off the local Martial Arts & Books Club and drinking suspicious liquids offered by total strangers. Well if it's good enough for her AND the sexy mayadere with enough game to seduce a mermaid, might as well get in on that myself.

#curseddrank 🤢 0/24 would not recommend to a friend, 'cept maybe Ria

win alot of cash 🤑, blow up a fountain, meet the pied piper²🎶🖕, moon cult, monochrome feathers, something about liberation✊🏻; adopt temper tantrum cow girl. aces 💜🥩

Next up!!! skydiving with DJ Hammer! Jump to apparently-not-certain death after suicidal A.I. 💚💾🗼 tells you to rescue her hostage before they run out of Radiohead albums and have to move on to Thom Yorke's solo discography. save the invisible shield kitten 💚👑😿 from happiness and get chased through the internet by the sexiest homicidal Paint Pallette 💚🎨😈 since Caravaggio. (apparently green is the color of the digital apocalypse. i’m deleting Kako from my friend's list)

that’s it, fuck this app. 250 stones 💎 per-life-threatening-experience is more than i’m willing to deal with 😓 don’t wanna mess with the perfect nuclear family anyway. we've already got:

✔️the two emotionally traumatized moms with memory and commitment issues

✔️the adhd daughter with anger management problems and a giant hammer

✔️the psychologically abused scizophrenic cat

✔️and the eccentric aunt with crippling anxiety

#squadgoals

now that were done hoarding bitches, its time to hunt the witches. and the bitches makin the witches. btw did i mention the witches ARE the bitches! AND WERE ALL GOING TO DIE!? ��️⁉️💀 wait fuck lets back up a second

This is Nemo📕 and Token🧪 and they have all the answers but prefer if you only ask vague questions in exchange for vague responses so they can fill in the rest by discussing their superior intellect 🧠 at length. not to mention they built that dating app, so of course everyone in my harem decides to be a FUCKING. TRAITOR.🤬

cept waifu prime ofc 🥰💙. [PTSD > brainwashing] 'yOu CaN bE tHe LeAdEr NoW'. i have been from the very beginning you traumatized Hinedere nightmare. maybe if you weren't so caught up collecting surrogate daughters you would've noticed IM👏THE👏ONLY👏 ONE👏PROGRESSING👏THE FUCKING👏PLOT✨

rescue the rest of dysfunctional found-family™ from selves before my adorable firebender burns down Disnihama🎡🔥😱 during her weekly anxiety attack. (love the makeover T B H)

CHAPTER 8: Magical Girl Massacre🩸🗡️

- everyone has like, the shittiest day ever

- the new Pope really needs to be extradited from the church

- make friends with a really pretty tree 🌺🌲✨

i swear, if i don't finish this god damn story in time to get that free pull im gonna beat the shit out of every mirror i find in that giant mansion that i haven't even had any time to even mention yet. 🖕🏚️ let alone EVERYTHING happening with the prequel [fuck you, I'm the star] girls 💗💜💙💛❤️️ and their multidimensional melodrama. We don't need that many repetitive af episodes to emphasize that Homo-ra is a shitty person. we've all seen Rebellion. 🙄

NO, I DONT CARE IF YOU WANT SAPPHO'S BACKSTORY, I ONLY HAVE 79 STONES LEFT AND IF YACHAN FINDS OUT I HAVEN'T DELETED THE APP YET IM GONNA HAVE TO GO SLEEP IN WITH SANA 😭💎💸😠

uhhhggggg where were we… Topple a cult and burn down Hotel Denoument only to realize that Sis was fused with the dating app servers this entire madokafuckin time (told ya she was the best wingman 😊).

Dilemma: Sis =🥚, Triumvirate of Trouble want 🐣. What do? vote now:

Help Hatch - IIIIIII

Not Do That - IIIII

What The Actual Fuck Is Going On - IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Lets just fight everyone until something good happens.

🔥🔫🔥🗡️🔥😱🔥🌆🔥😱🔥🛡️🔥💣🔥

Kill (???) the artist-in-chief of the italian reindeer murder police after teaching her the true meaning of Christmas 🎄 hatch 🐣lil Sis and realize she WAS your wingman all along🐰 MUKYUUUU! we're just gonna ignore how much trouble it would have saved if you'd just mentioned that. "yOu DiDnT aSk..."

FUCK YOU SPACE BITCH. ONCE AN INCUBATOR ALWAYS AN INCUBATOR 🖕🐇🔪

anywho, somewhere along the lines we of course summoned the Antichrist ⚙️ because why not raise the stakes to max and still not kill off a single character. Madofuckinkami, can we PLEASE wrap this up. 😩💤

feathers (not the culty kind, tfm) rain from the sky, and the power of friendship and not having the Urobutcher 🔪🩸as a lead writer saves our peacefully sectioned off alternate reality 😇

TL:DR fuck cults, real life waifus DO exist, don't sell your soul to space rabbits, or your stones to megacorporations. Enjoy arc 2 on the JP server with your shitty translation patch you filthy fuckin weebs

Yours Truly,

- Thirsty Weeb Eroha 💗💎😘

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cartoonfangirl1218 · 4 years ago

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BTS Inspiration of Winner’s Curse

I know not many people read my descendants fic, but hey it’s my Bday tomorrow and I feel like revealing some of the inspiration for it. This world building was actually what inspired me to start writing it down. Originally it was going to be from the POV of a Vk, and explore all the dynamics of the “new” Isle under the Coven of 13, and get into the motivations of each but as you can see that did not happen. I was intrigued by the idea of exploring a “sidekick” trying to be the hero and all that. Other notes are

Circe was originally going to be the mother of Malik, after having a fling with Mozonroth when she got sent to the Isle. Decided it was too much drama and discarded that.

There was going to be more focus on the power struggles between the mercenaries, the Coven and the authority figures. Was going to reveal Uma and Freddie to be siblings. Ended up sidelining Freddie.

Gaston’s daughter, Cosette, was going to have a role, becoming closer with Gil.

Atlantis characters were going to be part of the main group. As well as Black Cauldron characters. Also discarded.

Was going to redeem Drizella because I heard the original plans for Cinderella III was going to be Drizella redemption but they changed so they could give more development to Anastasia. So I decided I was going to do it. Dizzy would have been given more of a role.

Hans was going to be revealed as the cruelest villain. (Yeah I was going to make him a twist villain again. Be glad I did not).

Nasira and Mozonroth were going to be lovers before I decided on mother and son.

Diego and Ivy De’Vil would have had more a role.

Hercules characters would have had more a role. Including the Muses.

Ben would have had more a role somehow.

And that‘s about it.

But some things I am proud of in Winner’s Curse. Passing the Bedchel test.

A POC majority cast (This was completely unintentional but now I see it and counting it out, there’s four Agrabians, two WOC, and three European. Though I’ll admit I have not given Harry, Calix and Gil as much spotlight as I should. So my bad. But does Greek count as a white Euro? Idk, point is, unintentional diversity. Woo)

There��s only two romances. Both are interracial. Also unintentional. Uma and Harry are totally together. And Aziz and Lala’s burgeoning crushes that will not end in a kiss after the final battle because it’s not important. Oh well. Attempts to explore PTSD, abuse, sexual assault and poverty.

The emphasis on family and friendship between characters.

Exploring the negative side of Auradon including it’s classist system, the Magic Ban, and the Euro-countries getting more resources and riches compared to the likes of Kuzcotopia and Atlantis and Atlantica,

Psychological studies(ish) and more character exploration.

Jay faces his dad!

Hook siblings!

Getting to mention tie ins to the Aladdin animated series, Legend of Tarzan animated series, Hercules animated series, Ariel‘s Beginning and soon Disney fairies books. And adding those characters.

That I finished 20 chapters! This is my longest fic ever! And just ten more chapters to go! I’ll get there.

Coven of 13: Villains dedicated to using their old magic to take over Auradon and be restored to their glory days once more. However they all have conflicting wishes with what the final plan should be.

Maleficent: Since being “overthrown” as queen of the Isle. Maleficent had to settle herself with working with others until she can be mistress of all evil again. Is in a constant battle for dominance with Queen Nerissa, Ursula, Mozenrath and Jafar.

(Evil) Queen Grimhilde: Though she may be pre-occupied by her looks and seem to be passive, Grimhilde is secretly gunning for complete control of the Isle and Auradon when they invade. She feels there should be a new queen that doesn’t get into such petty tantrums as Maleficent. Queen Nerissa: Queen Nerissa is the unofficial leader of the coven since it was her idea but it is impossible to convince the others of that. She wishes to get her ultimate revenge on Giselle, Edgar and the rest of Auradon by becoming the tyrant.

Ursula: Ursula is smartly setting her sights on just ruling Atlantica. Unless she gets bored. Then she might expande her pool of options. She mainly just wants to stick it to King Triton and when it comes to execution time. She isn’t going to make the mistake of keeping his soul, she wants to destroy it. Mother of Uma.

Circe: Very bitter about ending up on the Isle even after Helen of Troy vouched for her to stay in Auradon. So to say that she wants to crush Adam to the bone is understatement. She wants him to grovel. And if she can find that one good man while she’s at it, that would be a plus. Mother of Calix.

Mother Gothel: Though she has an intense rivalry with Grimhilde since day one about hoarding the scarce beauty products available on the Isle, she is her closest supporter now when it comes to finding magic for revenge and curing wrinkly skin. She is the mother of Ginny who she doesn’t dote on nearly as much as she did with Rapunzel.

Yzma: She wants Kuzcotopia and she will do anything and everything to get it even if it means teaming up with a bunch of “old hags” (yes pot calling kettle). Still remains overdramatic and delusional. Has a semi-dependent abusive relationship with her children Zevon and Yzla.

Morgaine Le Fey: Morgaine Le Fey, like Grimhilde, is quiet when it comes to group work but she is always observing for everyone else’s weaknesses and flaws that she will undoubtedly exploit when she becomes Queen of Camelot. Mother of Morrían.

Nasira: Sister to Jafar and mother of Jade and Mozonroth. She isn't nearly as enthusiastic about ruling Agrabah as her brother and Mozonroth are but she is just in it to get revenge on the stinking alley rat, Aladdin.

Queen La: Without her staff, her kingdom or leopard-man army, La has resorted to her Atlantean priestess magic again in hopes of getting off the Isle and reclaiming her staff. Still delusional, still lustful and hates having to depend on the rest of these people. Mother of Ranavalalona.

Jafar: Wishes to rule Agrabah and execute the royal family that “mistreated’ and “disrespected” him so much. Is in a constant battle with Mozonroth on the fact that he is the best sorcerer and will be ruler of Agrabah when they take over. Mozonroth: Finds Jafar to be a blowhard and believes that since he already took over the Black Sands and overthrew his former mentor that he should be doing far better plots. But with the Isle’s Magic Ban, he has to go with what he has. Besides that he would like to give his half-brother, Aladdin, a taste of “brotherly love” when he puts him in a headlock to crack his skull. Father to Malik and Imran Abbas.

Dr. Facilier: Like Ursula, Dr. Facilier smartly works on the fringes, setting his sights small on the Bayou before ruling the rest of Auradon. Father of Freddie and Celia.

All-Powerful Quartet: Generally speaking, if any villain was going to be taking over Auradon, it would be these 4. But due to their all-powerful status, they’d rather not exert themselves to do such menial tasks when they have other things to do.

Mirage: Evil Incarnate. So she does get to go off-Isle to maintain some balance of good and evil in the universe but generally enjoys the place. There is just so much evil and chaos everywhere and she glories in it. Mother of Illusion and Chimera.

Chernabog: Since being put on the Isle, Chernabog remains asleep on the mountain, waiting for his day to rise again.

Horned King: Without his deathless army, the Horned King remains in his cave, slowly wasting away. Mainly convenes with Hades.

Hades: God of the Underworld. So yeah, he has a full time job to do.

Mercenaries: The muscle behind the Coven, these are people who can’t adjust to domestic life, more 20th century living and miss the thrill of a fight. They deal with the dirtier deeds of murder and treason. The big boss (literal mob boss) is Sykes who rents their services out.

Sykes: Mob boss. Basically owner of the unofficially named, “Mercenary for Hire.” He never gets his own hands dirty but he has plenty of people who will do it for him. He keeps his people in line with his files of blackmail he has stocked up.

Clayton: Desperately misses the thrill of the hunt and more modern conveniences like a well-polish gun with enough ammo to shoot all these thieves to hell. Has a coworkers- with-benefits relationship with Helga. Father of Clay.

Rourke: Since being screwed over by magic, Rourke has kept a very rigid condition that he will only deal with non-magical situations. Still maintains his treasure-seeking ways and often pilfers from Jafar’s shop.

Helga Sinclair: One of the most intimidating humans on the Isle and of the mercenaries in general. She is known for her efficiency in work, stoic demeanor and same condition to her jobs as Rourke, no magic.

Muviro: Finds mercenary life to be very suitable since being exiled from his tribe. He does it less so for the money but for the glory and bloodlust. Father of Renavalalona.

Lady Caine: Self-proclaimed, “Queen of Thieves” and pirate extradonier. She is Captain Hook’s only real competition on the piracy front leaving a lot of punch-punch kiss tension between them. Many suspect that she is CJ’s bio mom since they share the same manipulativeness, “devil may care” attitude and self-centeredness. However she has no time for any child-rearing, and leaves James to do whatever neglectful work.

Gaston: Another mercenary that does it for the glory rather than the money. He needs something to do since his hunting days are over. Unfortunately he has not won a lot of admirers on the Isle for his chauvinistic attitude (Bad move considering that many of the women have actual powers). Father of Gaston Jr. Gaston the Second, Gil, Gaston (IV) the Great and Cosette.

Shan Yu: Finds himself very low being part of a mercenary gang instead of invading foreign countries. But it does provide some thrill that he can work on his own and make his homicides as bloody as he wants them to be.

Sa’Luk: Former “King of the Thieves,” Sa’Luk uses his mercenary work to get rid of his excess energy and anger towards his enemies. He joins Rourke in pilfering from Jafar’s shops and has a penchant for shiny gold trinkets.

Lt. Col. Jean Staquait: Former French officer and best to hire when you need someone to torture prisoners.

Authority Figures: Villains who are used to have some amount of power in more domestic/civilian pursuits. Pretty much like big corporations that constantly drain the other villains of cash, small trinkets, food and whatever other valuables are on the Isle.

Queen Saleen: One of the most malevolent mermaid, well only mermaid on the Isle. She spends most of her time in the Isle’s waters, avoiding the annoying two legged people. She is often in some sort of feud with Ursula.

Lady Tremaine: Guardian to Anthony Tremaine. Lady is getting on with her years and remains more or less infirmed in her house with a dozen grandchildren. She runs her house with an iron fist and is the most vocal on the Isle in support of child labor. She misses her days of richness and convenes with other elder women about how low they have fallen.

Medusa: Just like she did before the Isle, Medusa owns a pawn shop that is on a constant losing streak to Jafar’s so she has opened a small casino next to it too. She rather delusionally considers herself to be an entrepreneur and tries to work with those higher up in the social ladder to get more money herself.

Cruella De’Vil: While she spends most of her time tending to her furs and car and drinking, when she is sober she tries her hand at fashion design as in the olden days. She works closely with Lady Tremaine and Medusa.

Prince Hans: More or less the least-adjusted to the Isle with his loss of kingdom, servants and anyone gullible enough to believe his lies or manipulations. He is in close cahoots with Mozenrath and bought Drizella as his mistress. Father to Lars, his only son and heir since Stalyan refuses to ruin her figure again.

Sheriff of Nottingham: Serves as the Isle’s one man police force and a sucky job at that as he lets his henchmen squad do most of the work while he serves as trial judge and executioner with the Queen of Hearts: She works a bit on the judicial system, mainly the one who suggests the executions. She can also be found bringing most of the cases to court against henchmen who have wronged her or disobeyed her Tea Shop’s rules.

Captain Hook: The sole owner and commander of the coasts of the Isle while Ursula controls its seas. He is still as obsessive as ever about Peter Pan, his hand and crocodiles and can be found frequenting bars and other brawling areas on the Isle where his hook serves as a nasty weapon. Father of Harriet, Harry and CJ.

Gov. Ratcliff: The only one on the Isle that deals with paperwork. Sort of a treasurer of sorts. Not so much in organizing it but guarding it with his life and spends his time staring longingly at the piles wishing it were genuine gold than copper coins. Claude Frollo: Father of Claudine. Maintains his strict preaching and inflaming others against sin and towards prejudice. But he also tends to lose his inhibitions more and is a regular at the brothels of the Isle late at night. No woman has replaced his lust for Esmeralda though. Claudette seems to becoming close to that though.

Stalyan: Hans’ wife and Lady Caine’s part-time lover which drives Prince Hans crazy. She has her eyes on one thing and one thing only, money and bad boys that make her look good. She has no real ambitions of her own and depends on her father, the Baron, to give her what she wants. Mother of Lars.

Regular Citizens: Citizens that hold no sort of power and are pretty much everyone’s punching bags.

Morgana: Morgana would have been put part of the coven, but her sister, Ursula forbade it. Besides everyone knows that Ursula is far more powerful and talented than her sister. Instead Morgana is blackballed from any real position of respect and takes care of Ursula’s restaurant when she is away.

Marina Del Ray: Since losing her job to Sebastian she has become the Madam of the Isle’s seaside brothels, using the money to spiffy up her gaudy wardrobe.

The Bimbettes: Claudette (red dress) used to be Gaston’s gf but left him after he tried to “throw away” their daughter, Cosette, to try for a boy. She has since then been seen with the likes of Prince Hans, Mozenrath and Frollo. Laurette (yellow dress), the mother of Gastons 1-3 is Gaston’s favorite. Paulette (green dress), Gaston’s official wife is more or less his servant/punching bag and mother to Gil.

Drizella Tremaine: Since she couldn’t be married to Prince Hans, she has settled for being his mistress whenever he and Stalyan have a fight. A thankless position since she regularly bends over (literally and metaphorically) to his will and gets discarded like trash every time.

Lefou and Smee: Live together and own a kinda profitable gun and fishing shack. By far the best parents on the Isle due to their goofy more sympathetic natures.

Jasper and Horace: Still devoted henchmen of Cruella, they serve as secretaries, gophers and all manner of assistance to her. Fathers to Jace and Harold.

Ivy De’Vil: Mother of Diego, is the brains behind Cruella’s beauty designs since she isn’t drunk all the time. Can be considered one of the better mothers on the Isle.

Animals: No explanation needed

Scar, Zira, Shere Khan, Sabor, Benzai, Ed and Shenzi, Tublat, Hista

Couples: Captain Hook and Lady Caine (fight-hate sex rivalry. Child- CJ)

Lady Caine and Stalyan (with-benefits)

Stalyan and Prince Hans (Married. Child- Lars)

Prince Hans and Drizella (affair, possibly Dizzy?)

Mozenrath and Hans (Hans swears it was an accident. Or he was too drunk. Or it was magic)

Lady Caine and Hans (Revenge against Stalyan)

Queen Grimhilde and Prince Hans (One night stand)

Ursula and Dr. Facilier (fling, potentially Freddie and Uma)

Frollo and Claudette (with-benefits)

Gaston and Laurette (Affair/borderline married. Children- Gaston Jr. Gaston the Second, Gaston (IV) the Great)

Gaston and Paulette (Married. Child- Gil)

Lefou and Paulette (Lefou deux, drunken night of pity sex because Gaston’s treatment of them)

Smee and Lefou (Couple. Adopted Sammy)

Ivy De’Vil and Frollo (One night stand. Child-Diego)

Mozonroth and Morgaine Le Fey (Fling)

Clayton and Helga Sinclair (co-workers with benefits)

Queen La and Muviro (Married and dumped. Children- Ranavalalona. Musala, Taytu Betuvira, and unnamed, deceased)

Queen La and Clayton (Fling- Leopold, deceased)

Queen La and Gaston (Fling. Children-Amina and Shaka, deceased)

Queen La and Rourke (Fling. Child- Euware, deceased)

Queen La and Mozonroth (Fling. Child-Sarounia, deceased)

Shan Yu and Sa’Luk (Once- There’s no straight men in the trenches)

#disney descendants #disney villains #winner’s curse #bts #inspiration #my fanfic #world building

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wigwurq · 4 years ago

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WIG REVIEW: HILLBILLY ELEGY

I ACTUALLY WATCHED THIS MOVIE Y’ALL. I promised I would watch some Oscar movies instead of prestige TV shows with bad red wigs so I sorta did that: I watched Oscar bait. Because lordt knows this movie is not winning any Oscars (and if it does, it is truly the asterisk Oscars). THIS YEAR YOU GUYS. There is so much to discuss in this movie. Yes, the wigs too. Also there are lots of spoilers but here’s the thing: THIS MOVIE IS AWFUL AND YOU SHOULD ABSOLUTELY NOT WATCH IT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES AND INSTEAD JUST READ THIS REVIEW. I WATCHED THIS HORROR SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO! YOU ARE WELCOME!

We begin in Kentucky 1997. AND EVERYTHING IS JUST SO KENTUCKY 1997. All landscapes/cars/people are beige and broken and depressed. We meet JD who is good at biking and saving turtles and spending the summer with his messed up family. HE IS ALSO A TERRIBLE ACTOR AS IS THE OLDER VERSION OF HIM. Important note: I did not read this book and the real JD is an awful Libertarian asshole and nothing about his story, his book, or this movie should be supported. I AM HERE FOR THE WIGS, Y’ALL. MOVING ON!

As promised, Glenn Close as JD’s grandma MAMAW (YES THAT IS HER CHARACTER NAME) looks exactly like Gene Shalit. A friend of mine made this comparison and I cannot unsee it. Amy Adams, straight off (ok maybe several years off?) deglamming for Sharp Objects is just completely frizzed (and kinda strung) out. These wigs are truly abominable as is this film. Anyway, they leave Kentucky and go back to Ohio where they live and where it is somehow more depressing than Kentucky.

But ok the wig, y’all. Amy Adams hair is is as shitty and unmanageable as her character which might have been a choice? Still, this wig is a tangled, dried out nightmare that cannot be defended (nor can this character’s child abuse and drug problems). Within moments of returning to Ohio, Amy Adams scolds her child for allowing a gifted dog to pee on her wall to wall carpeting and then the cops have to break up a car slap fight (of her slapping her child!) that spills out into a neighbor’s house. SHE MIGHT BE THE WORST MOM IN HISTORY BUT SHE SHOULD DEFINITELY BE ARRESTED FOR WIG CRIMES.

ONTO GLENN CLOSE - SHE LOOKS LIKE GENE SHALIT. THE END. Whoever approved this wig is a huge fan of American film critic Gene Shalit sans mustache. It is the only possible explanation. AND THIS PATCHY MAKEUP. I CANNOT YOU GUYS. I realize that everyone was aiming for deglam Oscars but they went too far.

ANYWAY. This film flashes between 1997 and 2011, where older JD (again also a terrible actor) is somehow in law school at Yale (OK?) and dating Freida Pinto who this film claims is normal law school age (FUN FACT: she’s 37). Older JD kind of has his life together other than the fact that all the snobs of law school cannot deal with this hillbilly kid who doesn’t know what a salad fork is. And then JD’s sister (played by Haley Bennett aka offbrand Jennifer Lawrence who I actually prefer more) calls and says that MOM IS IN TROUBLE PLEASE RUIN ANY LAW PROSPECTS AND COME HOME EVEN THOUGH MOM IS ABSOLUTELY THE WORST. AND HE DOES YOU GUYS!

Amy Adams’ 2011 wig/makeup/everything is probably the visualization of 2020? I assume this wig was made from leftover parts from Glenn Close’s Gene Shalit wig grafted onto a Halloween fright wig. It could very easily work for a swamp witch costume if you didn’t care about the quality of your swamp witch wig. IT IS THE WORST AS IS SHE. So she was in trouble because she overdosed on heroin...of course she did. After driving all night to get to Ohio, JD gets a call for a second interview at an important law whatever and just HAS TO GET BACK TO NEW HAVEN in the next like 6 hours which still feel like 600. The whole time he’s dealing with Amy Adams and her fright wig, it is a race against time to see if he’ll make it back and secure his future. I guess this is the plot of the movie? I could honestly not tell you. Basically the whole film (if you can call it that?) is strung together vignettes of strung out Amy Adams and yelling Glenn Close that never really add up to anything? BUT THERE IS SO MUCH YELLING ALWAYS. It’s like the opposite of a slow burn - it’s just constant flames and not the cool gay kind.

In any case, we flash back to the ‘90s where Amy Adams’ wig is basically everything Tonya Harding ever hoped and dreamed for (other than that Olympic medal...also Amy Adams would have been a much better casting choice in I, TONYA which had vastly superior wigs BUT I DIGRESS). We see how this drug habit developed - Amy Adams was a nurse and hoarded pills! This leads to the most truly outrageous film sequence I have seen in a long time where high as hell Amy Adams roller skates through the halls of the hospital where she works in her damn nurses scrubs and obviously immediately gets fired. Also her dad dies! Also she tries to kill herself and ends up screaming bloody murder (also covered in blood) in the middle of street and then goes to rehab (rehab doesn’t work). And then gets married to some rando. And then she gets some new job and needs JD to lend her some pee so she can still be a nurse. This all happens in the course of like 10 minutes. Like I said, this movie is constant insane vignettes - it’s like 100 plots at once and also no plot at all.

And then JD - definitely out of nowhere - develops a gang of terrible drug addicted teenage friends (sure!) who steal/crash cars and make everyone super pissed at JD. ALSO! For reasons unknown or ever explained, Glenn Close ends up in the hospital herself and then has the realization that only she can save JD from his effed up life AND TEARS ALL THE IVS OUT OF HER ARM AND STORMS OUT OF THE HOSPITAL WITH NO CONSEQUENCES OR EXPLANATIONS AS TO WHY SHE WAS THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE! YOU GUYS.

Also! JD tries to steal a graphing calculator for school from Radio Shack (this is for sure the most 90s sentence I’ve written in a while!) AND GLENN CLOSE IS PISSED! She lays down the law and also buys the graphic calculator herself even though that means they have to live off meals on wheels. BUT! Then he gets the best grade of the entire class on his math quiz and I DEMAND TO KNOW HOW HE KNEW HE HAD THE BEST GRADE IN THE ENTIRE CLASS AS THIS IS NEVER EXPLAINED OR SHOWN AND I NEED ANSWERS! Regardless, the graphing calculator not only saved JD’s grade point average but maybe set him on the path to Yale??? The concept that consumerism is the only thing that will help you as a “hillbilly” is really troubling and bespeaks the issues with this work of non-fiction as a whole. Anyway this movie really want you to know that GRAPHING CALCULATORS SAVE LIVES!!!

There is also a wig battle royale between Amy Adams and Glenn Close wherein there are absolutely no winners (but we, the viewer, definitely loses most!) It is honestly unclear to me how this fight ends (or how any fights end in this movie) because every interaction turns immediately into a fight and when said fight reaches its zenith, the movie cuts away to another vignette! Regardless, the wigs are complete garbage AS IS THIS MOVIE.

Back in 2011, Amy Adams refuses to be admitted to a rehab facility and older JD drives her back to her druggie boyfriend’s house which looks like this and I was like...hold up where have I seen this house before?

The answer is: 2010′s THE FIGHTER ALSO STARRING AMY ADAMS DEGLAMMING HERSELF FOR AN OSCAR SHE DIDN’T WIN! Ok actually in comparison, these houses aren’t that similar other than they are depressing houses with multitier front porches BUT STILL.

Anyway, JD leaves Amy Adams and her sad swamp witch wig at some random motel where nothing is resolved between them at all and then he drives all night back to New Haven whilst talking to Freida Pinto on the phone (SHE NEEDS TO SLEEP TOO, DUDE! HOW DO YOU THINK SHE IS PLAYING 14 YEARS HER JUNIOR! SLEEP!) And then...he does get to the interview and....the movie ends!! WHAT!TRULY AND FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART: WHAT DID I JUST WATCH AND WAS IT A MOVIE? I STILL DON’T KNOW!

There is an epilogue of pictures of the real people and you guys: MAMAW LOOKED NOTHING LIKE GENE SHALIT. Also why do I even care about these real people???? Yes the real JD made something of himself....he wrote the book on which this movie is based and became a Libertarian asshole and worked with Peter Theil?!?! OK??? I guess the full story is in the epilogue? But this movie absolutely begins and ends nowhere and in between we are treated to a lot of nonsensical yelling and terrible, awful, no good wigs. I IMPLORE YOU: DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE!!!!!! MAYBE WATCH SOME YOUTUBE CLIPS OF GENE SHALIT INSTEAD!

VERDICT: DOESN’T WURQ

#wigwurq #hillbillyelegy #glennclose #amyadams #deglammedforoscar #oscarbait #swampwitchwigs #geneshalit

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swampgallows · 4 years ago

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i know read more doesn't work on mobile anymore but whatever

...

i have completely zero attachment to the physical world lately and i know i "should" change this but im at a stage where I'm in so deep that i don't want to. I've utterly given up on trying to become employed or talk to my parents or interact with the outside world in any significant way. i haven't been talking with my irl/raver friends because i know I'm completely off their wavelength and have nothing to contribute since I'm no longer participating in the tangible world. i don't know how to and i don't want to, i guess, and the world doesn't seem to want (or miss) me either.

i could blame the pandemic but it was like this when i was working too, but had the added disadvantage of me being forced to interact with the world regardless, and how that compounded on my self-harm and self-neglect. i wasn't eating or sleeping so i could get to work on time, for instance.

i could blame wow and say it was an addiction but i think it's only a symptom of something larger. the only time i can recall being significantly invested in the real world is when i was in college and at the height of my raving "career"; i had genuine motivation to be part of a community that existed in the physical world, even if it was on the fringes. to me that's better than being completely sealed off in my room and prioritizing people and places that I'll never actually get to be with.

i have spent the majority of my life, even as an extremely young child, in a daydream world detached from reality, and i have no idea how I'll ever hunker down and make something of myself in the real world. i feel like i don't belong here and that there is nothing here for me, that i don't matter and I'm not missed or missing out on anything, and I'm too exhausted or unmotivated to try to find out how to fit into this planet, how to weave myself into the fabric of existence that everyone else seems to be part of.

the pandemic has made things worse for me by cutting off rave parties, as it was truly one of the only things that got me out of the house and wanting to occupy a physical space. and that's even when i had a job, i only lived for and aspired to get to go raving on the weekends and see my friends. the rest of the time i existed in a fog, and pretty much always have. ironically i spend so much time detached and daydreaming that i have no legitimate dreams or aspirations anymore.

i have never dreamed of a job or work. ive lost nearly all drive to be creative, especially when it comes to visual art. people assuage themselves for not feeling creative during 2020 despite all their new free time but i have felt this way for almost a decade and have been isolated for 3 years. i know i keep saying it but i feel like i have to drive that point home because it's not a 2020 problem, it's not something "everyone" is going through, it's something I've been struggling with for a long time and i feel like the shitty timing of everything has caused my therapist to view my struggles with this "global" lens. i have been in this exhausting detached permanent crisis/survival mode for over a decade. i can't pinpoint where it started or if it's innate or related to trauma since it happened when i was so young, but I'm less focused on that more than like

I'm an adult and i know i need to learn to become independent. everyone i relate to is mentally ill or dependent to some degree so i don't have any mentors or even examples of how to do that. nobody i know is moved out on their own except for one friend from high school who married a guy that works in the movie business, but she also started writing software in her early 20s so she's on a separate echelon altogether. anybody else either had their parents buy shit for them or is funded by means beyond their own paycheck.

i know i have to live in this world because i do. no matter where my mind is, it exists in a physical body that i have to shelter and nourish and maintain, despite how much i hate it. i am practically bedbound by "Ailments" and spend days existing in one corner of my bed in a corner of my bedroom, essentially my entire life whittled down to a 3x4 foot area of my twin sized bed slumped over a laptop. it's fucking up my neck and arms to not be sitting at a desk, let alone to be upright. my neurological problems from last winter keep cropping up and i don't know if that's due to spondylosis or anxiety and I'm not risking rona to have a doctor prod at me for a bit and then just shrug and tell me to drink water.

i want to get more exercise but it's been 100F every day and I'm scolded for going out at night existing as a woman. i have no destinations so i haven't driven my car in weeks. before that everything was on fire. exercising in my house is nearly impossible because of all the hoarded shit and the low ceiling. the one room with a high ceiling has no privacy.

i keep complaining about the same things because i have the same problems and zero solutions or even ideas. people just say "try new things" but there is nothing i am even curious about. i don't want things. i don't have wishes that can come true. i don't have aspirations. i don't have dreams. and even if i did i have nowhere to start and don't know how, or it's shit i can't do alone.

and let's face it: by my own design or not, I'm alone.

#blathering

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peter-parcoeur · 5 years ago

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“When you’re gone” - Part IV

PETER PARKER x READER (Tony Stark’s daughter)

warning: lots of angst in this chapter & irondad+spiderson feels hitting hard

Previous chapters: one || two || three Comment if you like it ♥

IV.

Peter was sat in the bus on his way back home when he started thinking about a way to talk to Y/N without her spatting back at him or avoiding any eye contact. There must have been something, any topic that could possibly break that massive ice wall she had built around her.

What if she refused to talk to him? How awkward would it be to be locked in his own bedroom with a girl who hated his gut? That’s when he realized: in about an hour, Y/N would be in his bedroom. A girl. In his bedroom. No girl had even been that close to his intimacy and suddenly, the thought of it made his throat dry from all the nervousness he had built in just a minute.

When the bus stopped, Peter started running as fast as he could to get home, using a couple swings from his webs to get there quicker. Slamming the door behind him, he rushed to his bedroom and sighed desperately at the sight in front of him.

A complete mess.

Usually, he wouldn’t be too bothered about his unkempt “personal space”. After all, the only people who were allowed to walk in there were May, Happy (occasionally) and Ned who happened to be even worst on the personal hygiene scale. Needless to say, his best-friend never complained about Peter’s smelly socks all over the floor, his untidy bed and all the obvious signs that screamed “nerd alert” like his Lego Death Star from Star Wars or his video games scattered all over the room.

Picturing Y/N Stark standing there in the middle of this mess almost gave him a panic attack.

He had now less than an hour to get rid of all of his shameful toys, tidy up his room and remove the obvious smell of a 17yo virgin who’d rather spend his nights gaming or streaming porn than try and get an actual girlfriend.

It took him half an hour to hide any shameful hint at his loneliness, hoarding his closet with his toys, clean up the room and make his bed. Running out of ideas as his brain had gone to FULL PANIC mode, Peter went into the bathroom, hoping to find some kind of home fragrance that would give his bedroom a fancy, sophisticated smell. Unfortunately, all he could find were May’s favorite perfumes. Without a second thought, Peter grabbed the first one in sight and sprayed his bedroom with it. The bottle made it seem like an expensive “haute couture” smell.

“That’ll do” he thought.

“What are you doing?”

Peter jumped at the sound of May’s voice. She was coming back from work and now standing in his doorway, staring at him through her thin glasses.

“Err, a bit of clean-up?”

“Are you sick or something?” she joked, obviously surprised at her nephew’s unusual activity.

“No? I mean… I had all of this energy and… I felt like… It was overdue, you know” he stammered, kicking a comic book under his bed with his foot.

“Okay, cut the bullshit, your room smells like Coco Chanel’s farted in there” she laughed, raising her eyebrow until he dared to admit the reason behind his sudden change of habits.

“Okay, okay but let’s not make a big deal about this?” he started, waiting for her to nod.

“There’s this girl –“ he started.

“Ooooh a girl!” she beamed “you’ve got a date?”

“What? No! why would I take a girl on a date in my bedroom!”

“Dates often end in a bedroom” May stated before correcting herself “not that I would allow it under my roof!”

“It’s not a date, May… We have this assignment, so we’ll be working here, maybe a couple hours a week?”

“Oh, well, that’s cool”

“Can you please, PLEASE… not make it embarrassing for me?”

“First of all, wow… yes offence? And second, why would I do that?”

“You tend to do that actually”

She smiled, only because she couldn’t deny it.

“I promise I’ll behave. Who’s the girl?”

“Y/N Stark”

“As in---“

“Yes”

“Wow. Okay. Are we okay with this? I mean, are you… okay?”

Peter shrugged, quite unsure about the whole situation. He had been so busy cleaning-up his mess to make it less awkward for him that he had completely forgotten about how she’d feel. Right now, he could only hope for the best.

“I guess we’ll see?”

May nodded and walked into the room to peck the top of his head.

“You should open your window, it smells like a hooker died in there”

“That’s actually your perfume?”

“You don’t know everything about me, sweetie” she smiled, pinching his cheek before she left his room “I’ll be in the living room doing my thing, you know where to find me… And keep that door open, we don’t want any baby spiders running around this place a year from now!”

Peter rolled his eyes and grunted at the awkwardness of this conversation. Looking around him, he felt quite proud of himself at the sight of his neat, organized bedroom. It actually looked like a place where he’d love to have his first kiss and a couple more first times.

Not that he had this in mind with Y/N. At least, not until now he hadn’t.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There was a knock on the door at 6:30 sharp, which reminded him of Tony’s typical habit of showing up on time wherever around the world. May watched him walk to the hallway, trying to keep it cool when he was actually halfway between a good run and a steady walk. He had now changed clothes to one of his only “great” sweater, with his sleeves rolled up and a fresh pair of jeans. If May hadn’t promised to behave, she would have commented on his fancy “this is not a date” new look.

Nervousness kicked in when he opened the door and saw her standing there with her backpack hanging on her right shoulder. She was wearing some sort of Gym apparel, skin-tight yoga pants and a cropped sweater that gave him a quick glimpse of her toned stomach and tiny waist. Her hair was tied in a high ponytail and her glistening skin made it look like she had jogged to his place.

“Hi” he said, almost out of breath as he realized she looked even better make-up free and wearing the most casual sports clothes. He felt suddenly stupid for wearing his good sweater now.

“Hi, sorry for this” she pointed at her outfit “I thought I would have some time to change after my dance class but I didn’t want to be late so--- here I am”.

Peter couldn’t help but smile as she said it. She didn’t want to be late.

“Don’t flatter yourself, I just hate to be late” she added when she realized he must have heard his side of the story and now making up his own scenario about how she couldn’t wait to see him again. None of this was an option on her side.

“It’s okay” he blurted “come on in”

Y/N was pleasantly polite and nice to May as she introduced herself when Peter thought she would be hating on the Parker’s name over ten generations. When she complimented May’s outfit, Peter thought about how his life would be if he ever managed to date a girl like Y/N and what a major upgrade that would be.

When Y/N turned around, May gave her nephew the thumbs up, mouthing “I like her!” with a bright, encouraging smile on her face. Peter simply answered with a sign of his hand miming a throat cut that could only mean “please shut up”.

“Do you want anything to drink?” he asked when they entered his room.

“Water would be nice”

Peter excused himself as she dropped her backpack to the floor, her eyes exploring his room with a noticeable curiosity. When he came back a couple minutes later with two glasses of water, Y/N was standing in front of his desk, scanning through the pictures on his wall.

Squishing his eyes shut with complete despair, Peter realized he had forgotten to take off the most important parts of his room: Tony’s pictures.

“Hmm” he coughed “here’s your--- water” he hesitated, handing her one of the glasses.

“Thanks” she whispered, barely noticing him as her eyes seemed glued to the picture of her 8yo-self smiling brightly in Peter’s arms. He looked exactly the same as today, only less broody.

Peter didn’t know whether to speak at all or just stand there awkwardly as she processed her thoughts. It was probably creepy for her to see herself as a child in his arms while standing there next to him, looking like he’d never aged. For a second, it seemed like her wall had collapsed and she was actually reachable. Her eyes were haunted with a mix of nostalgia and sadness but she didn’t seem angry anymore.

“Weird, right?” Peter blurted out when he didn’t know what else to say.

“What is?” she asked “This situation or the fact you keep a picture of a little girl on your wall?”

Peter frowned. Maybe that wall was still there after all. Luckily, some of his biggest strenghts were his patience and obstinacy.

“I only keep it there because it’s a good memory. I had a good day and I wanted to remember it… That’s all. Sorry if it creeps you out.”

She seemed surprised with his honesty, but it was nothing next to his own surprise when she answered.

“It was a good day, yeah” she said, her face daring to show some hints of a smile in the corner of her lips before her eyes drifted to a picture of Tony and Peter and all signs of happiness faded away.

She turned around quickly and looked for a place to sit, her nose sniffing as she quite obviously tried to refrain from crying.

“We should get going, my mum wants me home by 8pm” she said, grabbing a notebook and a pen as she sat on the bed when she failed to find a desk and/or a chair.

The tip of her nose had turned red from the rush of sadness she had felt, looking at her father’s smile on this picture. To think of the pain she was going through made Peter feel worse than ever, so he decided not to mention anything personal as long as she didn’t give him a greenlight.

That didn’t happen until the next hour.

They had been working on their assignment for over an hour when Y/N suddenly seemed unable to contain herself any longer.

“What could he possibly see in you?” she snapped, smacking her pen on her notebook with a hard tug that made Peter jolt with surprise.

“Excuse me?” he asked, bewildered at her sudden mood swing.

“I’m sorry I just--- I’m trying to understand what my father could possibly love SO much about that he felt the need to travel back in time and just…. Abandon me.”

She had said it. The word she was dreading to speak out loud.

Her father had abandoned her so he could save another kid.

Getting up from the bed, she paced his room back and forth as she tried to compose herself so she wouldn’t cry in front of him. Peter felt terrible now. Never in a million year had he thought about her side of the story. How could she think Tony had abandoned her?

“He didn’t abandon you, Y/N, how can you say that?”

“Oh really? And what do you call it? Some heroic sacrifice? BULLSHIT! You weren’t there! None of you fucking Avengers were there to see it!”

“See… what?”

“The look on his face when he came back without you” she sniffed, turning around to face him now, wiping her face with the back of her sweater as tears started rolling down her cheeks.

“I hoped and prayed he would come back… I thought he had died up there, just like all of you… I was heartbroken and just when I’d completely lost hope… He came back from freaking Space with that blue chick!” her voice was cracking up with emotion by now, Peter wished he could’ve walked up to give her a warm, comforting hug, but she seemed furious at him.

He realized just how much she resented him when she kept on talking.

“I was so relieved, it was genuinely the happiest day of my life… To have him back, I felt lucky, I felt blessed…” she paused “but do you know what his first words to us were?”

Peter shook his head no.

“I’ve lost the kid” she said, recalling her father’s words as vividly as ever.

Peter looked up to stare into her eyes, his own watering from the aching pain in his stomach. No one had ever told him about this before Y/N. To hear this was a terrible reminder of his loss.

“You think that’s painful? Try and have your father losing sleep for months, staying up all night trying to figure out how to turn things back so he can bring YOU, precious Peter Parker back.” She snapped “He didn’t do this to save the world, he wanted to save you! He left me and my mom knowing this would be a one way trip!”

She was properly crying now, sobbing through her words as she recalled the day he left her, never to come back again.

“I’m—“ Peter started “I’m so deeply sorry Y/N… I didn’t know… I—“

“Of course you didn’t! That’s what makes it so hard for me to hate you!” she bawled, unable to contain herself now at the wound inside her heart seemed to have opened wide for the first time since the funeral.

Peter instinctively got up and wrapped her in his arms, hoping she wouldn’t punch him for even touching her. She rested against his chest, rigid as a tree so he wouldn’t feel any of her weaknesses. He could feel her shaky breath against his neck as she sobbed uncontrollably on his shoulder. Resting one hand behind her neck, hoping to soothe her, Peter went completely silent until she felt ready to speak again.

“You know the worst part of this—“ she started, freeing herself from his arms like she wouldn’t allow herself to be that close to him –

“I was actually sad when you didn’t come back with him, can you believe it?” she used both of her sleeves to wipe her eyes off, unbothered about how messy she looked now.

“Part of me was extremely thankful to have my dad back, but I couldn’t help thinking about you. Isn’t that just hilarious really? I cried when he told me about everything, how you vanished in front of his eyes, how you… apologized and cried and… I was genuinely heartbroken because for some reasons, I adored you! Just like my father did!”

Peter was loss for words, it felt like a truck had run over him about ten times. He was just standing there speechless, looking at her with tears in his eyes.

“It haunted me for weeks… But I had my father so I guess, I couldn’t be mad at the universe about a teenage boy from the Queens! But then my father left and suddenly… I’d lost you both.”

She paused, slightly out of breath from all the crying.

“My favorite person in the entire world, my universe, my role model, my guardian angel… and you, that nice, funny guy I had an irrational childish crush on! How stupid really, what a joke.”

Never in a million years would Peter had thought about this. To think she was actually sad he was gone was unthinkable, even if he knew how much she seemed to appreciate him as a child. Talking about this brought back memories from the past, how every time he visited Tony and his family, Y/N seemed so happy to see him. Tony even often joked about how he would become her favorite person someday, never hiding his jealousy whenever Y/N asked for ‘her best friend Peter’. All of this seemed surreal now that she was his age, standing there looking both flawless and broken.

“I don’t know what to say, Y/N… I wish I could do anything, I swear—“he hesitated.

“I swear I would take his place in the blink of an eye if I could turn back time once more… I never asked for any of this to happen, I don’t even recall the snap, it’s just a blur… Sometimes it doesn’t even feel real and I expect to wake up and everything’s back to normal”.

She could tell he was as upset as she was now, only slightly more disturb by his own memories.

“I know you’re going through the worst kind of pain right now but… I’ve lost him too.”

“Don’t you dare!” she threatened “he wasn’t your father!! How can you—“

“HE WAS THE CLOSEST THING I HAD TO A FATHER!!” he cried out, completely losing it now as he realized all of his father figures were long gone.

“You’ve lost your father… I’ve lost three.” He sighed, sitting on the edge of his bed with his head buried in his hands at the thought of his own dad, his uncle Ben, and now Tony.

“I think you should go” May’s voice came out of nowhere, unexpected. None of them knew how long she had been standing there but her face said it all. She couldn’t handle the pain Peter was going through.

Y/N watched as May stood in the doorway with a concerned look.

“I’m sorry Ms Parker” Y/N simply stated, powerless. As she walked closer to Peter to pick up her backpack from the floor, he never looked up to meet her gaze. Part of her wanted to show some sign of support, a hand on his shoulder, a pat on the back, anything, but she couldn’t. That pain mixed with resentment was too conflicted, that wound was too fresh.

“Do you want me to call Happy so he drives you home?” May asked as she realized Y/N seemed to be as distressed as her nephew.

“I’ll walk. Thank you Ms. Parker”

With that, she left the room.

May sat next to Peter on his bed as soon as they both heard the front door closing.

“So… that was a shitty date” she smiled, wrapping an arm around Peter, hoping her usually goofiness would save the day, once again.

“Really, May?”

“Sorry… Do you want to talk about this? I can do adult talk”

“I think I’d rather be alone if that’s okay” he sighed, finally lifting his head up to wipe off the tears from his eyes. He looked drenched from all the energy he had left in his body.

Of all of May’s qualities, Peter appreciated the fact she wasn’t over reaching when he asked for privacy. She knew how to be discreet and how to respect his need for loneliness. He knew he could always count on her any time of the day.

“I’m just saying this” she added while leaving the room “this could either end with a physical fight… or the most intense love story”.

“May, please” he sighed “now is not really a perfect time for jokes”.

“You just wait…” she smiled before she left the room, closing the door behind her.

Peter immediately crashed against his pillow, feeling drained.

As he tried to fall asleep, he felt something poke his back and reached for it only to find out Y/N’s had left her notebook behind. Out of curiosity, he flipped through the pages, mostly homework and notes from different classes, until a piece of folded paper dropped from behind the front cover.

Part of him knew this wasn’t right. He wasn’t usually that curious but somehow, he felt the need to catch a glimpse.

His heart sunk in his chest when he recognized Tony’s handwriting.

The two couple words were enough for him to lose it.

“Give this to the kid—“

#Peter Parker #Spiderman #Tom Holland #Peter Parker x Reader

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violetsmoak · 5 years ago

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Pieces of April [15/?]

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21099044/chapters/50202530

Summary: On the anniversary of his death, Jason’s second life takes an abrupt new turn and he’s faced with a challenge that neither Batman nor the All-Caste prepared him for.

Rating: PG-13 (rating may change later)

Author’s Note: Here's your daily reminder to stay inside, wash your hands and not to hoard toilet paper! As a reward, enjoy another chapter of POA, featuring sass, subtle and not so subtle inklings of romance, and off-screen appearance of another Bat!

First Chapter

________________________________________________________________

After two movies and being so distracted that Ives kicks his ass at Mario Kart, Tim returns to his apartment. It’s not very late in vigilante time—two o’clock, as promised—and he’s sort of half expecting Jason to be still awake when he gets back.

The older man is sitting on the couch in the living room, flipping absently through the channels, eye flicking to the baby-monitor beside him every few seconds like he’s prepared to jump into action if he hears a cry.

“Has she been keeping you up?” Tim asks as he strides over.

Jason blinks blearily at him. “No.”

“Then why don’t you grab some sleep while you can? There’s no point staying up if you don’t have to.”

“First of all—fuck you. Second of all, that’s rich comin' from the family insomniac. And third, I’m havin' trouble shuttin' my brain off, okay? It’s still tryin' to figure out if I didn’t accidentally travel to another alternate reality of something.”

A sharp, distorted cry echoes over the monitor and Jason really does jump.

“Stay put,” Tim tells him, already heading for the stairs. “I’ll get her.”

It’s still surprising when Jason listens to him, which Tim puts down to being in a desperate situation. He hopes that having someone else in the apartment to help with Isa will diminish whatever anxiety has the older man wound so tight.

Once upstairs, Tim slips into the guestroom and scoops her into his arm, wincing at the shrill squealing cry. After a quick check of her diaper—blessedly empty—he carries her still crying form downstairs to prepare a bottle for her.

Jason winces when they appear and—he doesn’t really run away, but he makes a hasty exit over the stairs.

Tim huffs under his breath. “It’s not like she’s a bomb, Jason. Geeze.”

Though she is doing an excellent job imitating a percussion grenade while they wait for the bottle of formula to warm up in the microwave, so maybe there are some similarities.

“It was thirty seconds, not thirty years, calm down,” he grumbles as she latches onto the plastic nipple like a starving animal.

He watches her nurse for a few minutes, brows furrowed and mind on Jason.

I know he’s still adjusting, but at some point, it’s got to start sinking in, right? I mean, he’s not even planning on keeping her, it’s all temporary, so there’s no reason for him to be this out of it.

Unless there’s more going on than just a surprise baby—which, given Jason’s past and present activities, could very well the issue.

I wonder how hard he’d punch me if I suggested he talk to someone about this?

Not Dick, obviously; calling him has always been one of Tim’s major avenues of support when he’s going through hard times, but he knows Jason would rather crawl through broken glass than open up to his predecessor.

Sometimes I think Jason’s relationship with Dick is a hundred times more complicated than it is with anyone else in the family…

Isa gives a dissatisfied whimper and turns her face away from the bottle. Tim frowns, seeing that she’s barely drunk a quarter of it, and tries to tempt her to take another, but she refuses, already going dozy and limp with sleep.

“Really? After all that? You raise holy hell and you don’t even finish it?” He snorts. “You really are his.”

It’s an effort to get the sleepy infant to burp, but he manages it; she passes out before he’s even made it back up the stairs and back to Jason’s room.

Despite having explicit permission to enter without knocking, Tim’s still uneasy broaching Jason’s personal space. Especially since Tim can tell he’s not asleep, even if he’s lying on his bad, holding a pillow over his face like he’s trying to block everything out.

Tim carefully arranges the baby back in her basket-bassinet, and quietly asks Jason, “Need anything else?”

Jason mutters something that sounds suspiciously like "Another life", and turns his back on both Tim and the baby.

And really, what can he even say to that?

It’s a problem for some other time.

Tim takes a quick shower, before faceplanting onto his unmade bed. The exhaustion he’s been ignoring for the past day or so finally hits him, and he passes out without even getting up to turn off the lights.

By some miracle, he gets six hours of uninterrupted sleep before his alarm goes off later that morning. He doesn’t feel fully rested, but he gave up on chasing that sensation two Robins ago.

After dressing and taming his hair (it might be time for a haircut soon), he spends an extra ten minutes checking the bruises on his face—they’ve gone from dark purple to blue—and applying a liberal amount of cover-up. A beat later, he adds a bit of eyeliner as well, to give an appearance of alertness that he doesn’t quite feel.

Heading downstairs his nose twitches as he becomes cognizant of an unfamiliar smell.

Of...someone’s cooking?

He finds Jason in his kitchen, flipping pancakes. The baby carrier is in the middle of the kitchen island, Isa sleeping soundly in a cocoon of blankets.

Instead of asking Jason why he’s cooking, Tim grabs a coffee cup from the cupboard and turns on his Keurig. “How was the first night?”

He doesn’t expect Jason to respond beyond irritated grunting, and so is surprised when he answers.

“Took me an hour to fall asleep,” he says. “Then at four she woke me up…then at six…and then just now. So, I decided, screw it, I’m hungry anyway. And about the only thing you have all the ingredients for are pancakes.” He shoots Tim a judging look. “I don’t even think you have maple syrup. It’s a disgrace.”

“I think there might be corn syrup in the pantry?”

“Disgrace,” Jason repeats.

Tim ignores him and glances at the two dozen pancakes he’s caught sight of behind Jason’s bulk. “Exactly how many people are you feeding?”

Something that might be a blush darkens Jason’s cheeks.

“I may have gotten a little distracted,” he admits defensively. “But I needed something mindless to do and it worked, so just…shut up and eat.”

He shoves a plate with three pancakes at Tim, who doesn’t have the heart to tell Jason he doesn’t really eat breakfast. Instead, he goes looking for the much-maligned corn syrup and takes the smallest pancake he can find in the bunch.

It’s only polite, after all.

Isa starts to whimper again and Jason groans. “There is no way you’re hungry again, I just fed you.”

Instead, he carts her over to the coffee table—the vintage Henredon table Tim actually spent a couple of weeks tracking down because it resembled one his parents had when he was a child—has since yesterday seemingly become the chosen changing station.

There are piles of fresh diapers and wipes spread out on it, clearly from earlier changes, and there’s a pail next to it, along with the detritus of the packaging it was in.

“That can’t be sanitary,” Tim says. “Or environmentally friendly.”

“Yeah, well, your highness can shell out for cloth diapers and hire a service to clean them if that’s your issue.”

Tim rolls his eyes but wisely doesn’t reply to that, instead busying himself with finishing off the giant pancake and a much-needed cup of coffee.

“Ugh,” he hears Jason say after a while. “Are we sure this is a human child? Because what’s coming out of her doesn’t look human.”

Tim chokes on a large lump of pancake and glares across the room. “Yes, thanks for that while I’m eating.”

“As if your stomach hasn’t been tested by many a murder scene.”

“Never while I was eating,” Tim grumbles and pushes his plate away. He hunts down a travel mug for his second much-needed cup of coffee and then grabs his messenger bag from the hook on the door.

He’s halfway headed for the garage when he pauses and considers Jason again.

“Do you need me to stay?” he asks. “I mean, it’s the first day you’re doing this, so—”

“I don’t need you holding my hand, Drake,” Jason deadpans, “especially since you’re not going to be here during the day anyway. No point in getting used to a crutch.”

Tim isn’t sure he likes that comparison.

“You sure?”

“I figured out how to defuse bombs, I can figure this out.”

“Okay…but Safiya did give you her number, right? You know there’s no shame in calling her if you’re stuck.” That earns him a withering glare. “Just saying.” He offers Jason a mock-salute. “Enjoy learning how to baby.”

“Fuck you.”

“Language!”

“She’s two days old, she doesn’t know what the hell I’m sayin’.”

“A-plus childcare, Mary Poppins,” Tim mutters—under his breath because he doesn’t actually want to be punched this early in the morning—and finally leaves.

Once at the office, he falls into his usual routine—perfunctory greetings to people he should only know by sight but for whom he has done extensive background checks, sitting in a board meeting and chewing out the legal team for not filing their water-filter patent faster (he may have brushed it off to spare people the wrath of Damian, but he fully understands the kid’s anger), a stop at the break-room for a third cup of coffee and to keep an ear out for the office gossip.

Tam is waiting in his office when he finally settles in for the rest of the morning.

“How’s everything going at home?” she asks, closing the door behind her. She hands him his schedule for the day and a checklist of phone calls to return and products that require oversight.

“As well as can be expected,” he replies, sipping his coffee. “It’s an adjustment.”

“No kidding. You go from single, introvert shut-in bachelor to living with Dream Daddy overnight.”

Tim promptly inhales and then spits out very hot coffee, only narrowly missing a stack of contracts that need reviewing.

Tam’s eyes flick to the mess. “I’m not cleaning that up.”

“Why would you say that?” he splutters as his brain frantically tries to reboot after the shock.

“Because it’s not my job to clean up after the functional man-child that is my boss?”

“Not that.” He glares. “Filling my brain with disturbing notions.”

“Is the disturbing notion that I said it, or that you know what Dream Daddy is?”

“The disturbing thing is that you think my—” He pauses, hesitant to use the word ‘brother’ in relation to Jason, if only because it feels wrong for some inexplicable reason. ‘Friend’ is also a gross over-estimation of their relationship. “—new roommate is attractive.”

“Well, some of us have eyes,” Tam shrugs.

“And some of us have criteria for what we find attractive beyond looks.”

“Right. Forgot. You like the dangerous types that try to kill you first and ask questions later.”

Tim opens his mouth to object, and then tilts his head to one side to acknowledge it: given his recent dating history, she’s not wrong. “You forget that type tends to be female. As in something my new roommate most definitely is not.”

“Puh-lease, I’ve seen you when you’re hanging out with Connor. You can’t tell me that’s a hundred percent platonic.”

“It is!”

“If you say so,” Tam replies. “But you forget—I’ve kissed you. And I’ve never felt less spark or even interest in a guy before.”

“Because I was surprised,” Tim grouses. “That doesn’t mean I don’t like women. You’ve met Stephanie.”

“Yeah, but she told me she hit you in the face with a brick the first time you two met.”

“I regret ever introducing you to each other,” Tim groans, pressing his face into his hands. “Look, you’re the one who decided us dating would be a bad idea, so don’t go taking that as evidence that I’m gay.”

“First of all, our dating would be a bad idea, and not even just because of the inevitable involvement of ninjas or Vicki Vale’s byline. I’ve already explained why—which you agreed with at the time. And second of all, I never said you were gay, I said you had a type. Lynx tried to break you with a sword, Connor broke your arm, and as I said, there was Steph…Point is, gender has nothing to do with it, you’re just a masochist.”

“I must be since I put up with you,” he sighs. “Let me be clear: I have no interest, nor will I ever have interest in…my new roommate. And this is so far from the appropriate place to talk about this stuff.”

“And he pulls the ‘boss’ card,” Tam narrates sarcastically. “Fine, I’ll leave it alone. For now. Only because I have a conference call with my opposite number in Hong Kong.” She heads out but can’t resist throwing an over-dramatic sigh over her shoulder. “Maybe if I had the ability to throw you through a wall, you and I would have had a chance. Guess we’ll never know.”

She opens the door to the office, and then she’s gone, leaving Tim to parse the utterly bewildering turn to the conversation.

“How did we even get on that topic?” he mutters to himself, searching his desk for his glasses.

God, she can never find out that Jason tried to kill me that first time we met. I’ll never hear the end of it. Even if she’s completely wrong about all this, I’ll have to deal with knowing looks the rest of my life…

Tim makes a valiant effort to lose himself in his work after that, if only to erase the memory of Jason being called ‘daddy’ by another adult. He cleans up his desk as best he can, wrinkling his nose at the idea the place is going to smell like stale coffee for a while, and then does a quick triage of what work needs to be done now and what can wait.

He manages to lose himself for a few hours, working even through lunch, before setting aside time to wrestle with the current problem in his life: namely, helping Jason find someone to step in and deal with the baby situation.

It’s not like a business deal or falling stock options. A human being doesn’t come with cheat codes or hacks.

Well…not directly.

Tim grins to himself and opens an encrypted server to access to the CPS servers. Jason’s adamant about not working through the system, but that doesn’t mean they can’t investigate families within the system on their own and outside of whatever arbitrary criteria individual caseworkers use to evaluate potential parents. It’s a starting point.

At the same time, he’s using his personal computer that’s linked in with the Nest system to add a few extra layers of protection to Jason’s falsified information. It’s a fairly routine task, but he wants to ensure no one realizes he’s there.

His screen freezes.

O: Do I need to know why you suddenly needed to hack the SSA?

“Almost no one,” Tim corrects himself with a sigh; of course she’s keeping tabs on him.

He types a quick reply:

T: You mean you don’t already?

O: No. I’m waiting for you to be upfront about it.

That would be a definite change from the usual Bat modus operandi. He wonders how long it’s going to last.

T: Precautionary alias for a case.

O: I see.

T: You know if it was anything more than that I’d have reached out.

O: Even if it involves a certain red sheep of the family?

Tim groans, and only just refrains from pressing his palms against his eyes in frustration. Babs’ stance on Jason isn’t exactly clear, and she’s just as likely to give Bruce a heads-up about possible Red Hood antics coming up as wait for him to figure it out himself.

T: Even then. This is a personal thing and I’m handling it.

O: Alright. I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt.

O: For now.

Which Tim knows from experience will only last for so long; any potential threat in Gotham—and Jason is still occasionally classified as one of those—and Oracle might just take a page out of Batman’s mitigation playbook.

“Problem for another day,” he tells himself.

He’s starting to feel like that’s going to become his new mantra.

⁂ ⁂ ⁂

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#jaytim #timjay #babyfic #kidfic #slow build #slow burn #tim drake #tamara fox #barbara gordon #bringing up baby #original character: luisa ardila #baby isa #baby todd #adulting

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bedbellyandbeyond · 5 years ago

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Azeros

(Story Post, New Character)

They didn’t waste time after breakfast getting ready for the ritual. There were pearl coloured robes for the humans to wear but Dusty and Köbi were expected to be in their true forms (or at least truest form with out blinding the others). In their true forms however, they both had wings and took up a lot of space. They had to tuck their wings very close as they were packed into the elevator, both not wanting to touch wings as well and limiting their space even more for it. Dante was blowing feathers out of his face as he waited to see what floor Sydryn chose.

They chose the ninth floor, the very top of the whole complex. It took only moments for them to be lifted up there and then the doors were opening again. What they saw then didn't even make sense for the layout of the building. They were entering what appeared to be an enormous cathedral. Gold gilded the walls and ceiling. Niches held statues of various divine creatures and prophets. To call it a cathedral would greatly diminish the intersectionality of it all as it appeared that religious symbolism from all corners of the world had a place here. Decorated prayer mats adorned the floor, a Shinto arch framed the way in from the elevator, and a bronze font sat on the side of the entrance. There were other forms of symbolism the party had never seen before and too many to list. A figure dressed in black, white and gold robes, with alabaster skin and golden horns, swept towards them and bowed, golden jewellery dangling from their neck. It was quite clear that this dragon hoarded religion. Sydryn was immediately disgusted by the sight of their peer. They scowled at them as they approached but stepped forward to greet them. “Azeros,” Sydryn addressed. “We've come to use your space.” “What kind of greeting is that to your superior?” Azeros said, getting even closer to Syd and taking their arm. “Good morning. Blessed be the day.” Sydryn was clearly using everything in their power not to spit in the face of this dragon. “Good morning.” “Please. Do you really want to carry that negativity to our offspring?” Azeros asked, placing a hand on Sydryn's stomach. The doctor immediately snapped and grabbed Azeros's arm, twisting it backwards. “Don't you ever touch me.” Azeros groaned in pain and pulled their arm away when Sydryn's grip eased. “You haven’t introduced me to your companions.” Sydryn glowered and pointed between Ruben and Dante. “That one's the lover and that one's the bonded. You can determine the rest.” Azeros rolled their eyes and pushed past Sydryn to their visitors. Köbi was absolutely over the moon in this great hall of religious symbols and artefacts. Dusty was very much the opposite. “Angel, welcome,” Azeros said eyeing Köbi in an almost lustful manner. “It is an honour to have you here in my domain.” Köbi beamed. “Your collection is very impressive. I feel like I'm in...well. If I can't say in front of the humans...” Dante and Ruben both looked at him curiously. “I understand,” Azeros said. “Make yourself at home here.” They moved on to Dusty. “You are also very welcome here. There are many religions who worship the demon. Perhaps after the unbinding, you would chose to stay with me. Both of you.” “Not in your wildest dreams,” Dusty stated glaring at the dragon. “There's no way I'd even consider having a sleepover with someone Syd clearly hates so much.” Köbi didn’t say anything, clearly considering the option. Azeros chuckled. “Sydryn loves me. Our fates have always been intertwined.” “I couldn't loathe you more,” Sydryn stated. “And you think talking to me like that will allow you to use my home?” Azeros asked. “No.” Sydryn looked up at the other. “I know carrying your eggs inside me gives me the right to use your home.” “Now, now...” Azeros withdrew a bit. “You know we all agreed long ago on repopulation terms. You're not the only pregnant dragon right now.” “I agreed to repopulate. I did not chose to repopulate with you,” Sydryn stated pointedly. “Not to mention, you don’t have to carry any eggs. You get to sit around comfortably watching the rest of us suffer.” “I was run through in battle,” Azeros reminded them. “Isn’t that suffering enough?” Sydryn set their jaw and muttered. “You should’ve perished and saved us our suffering…” Azeros rolled their eyes and sighed. “Second eldest always repopulates with the eldest,” they stated. “These rules are known.” “These rules are nonsense,” Sydryn said. “The only factor to consider when choosing partners is whether or not the dragons are related.” “So we're partners?” Azeros said, smiling. “Barely mates.” Köbi raised a hand. “I don't mean to interrupt, but we're losing the morning.” “Right. This way,” Azeros said, waving them down the centre of the hall. The centre was setup as if morning mass was about to begin, but they passed the pews and behind the altar to a much smaller room beyond. The ceiling was still high and vaulted. The room was an opalescent white and carved with unknown ruins. There was a large stone table in the centre of the room the size of a king sized bed. An altar at the back held a large codex bound in leather hundreds of years old. Slots in the domed ceiling allowed for sunlight to pass through stained glass windows, though the imagery in the windows were not the biblical narratives one expects. Instead it depicted scenes of creatures and monsters of all sorts: dragons, demons, angels, centaurs, mermaids, giants, griffins, kappa, kitsune, Jotun, and so on. “What religion is this room for?” Dante asked. “Prodigean,” Azeros said, grinning as they stepped behind the altar. “A very ancient power dedicated to the worship and management of monsters.” Köbi frowned. “I don't fancy the term...” “Of course you wouldn't,” Dusty said. “This is probably the first time anyone's called you that.” “Demons are monsters,” Köbi argued. “Angels are the opposite so we can't possibly be monsters too.” “Have you ever considered we're just two sides of the exact same coin?” Dusty asked. “Absurd.” “Now, I've had to make some modifications to the ritual we are performing,” Azeros stated. “The original would require the human to perish but I’ve merged it with a lifesaving ritual so all should go swimmingly.” “Whoa, hold on a minute,” Ruben stopped. “You merged it? You’re talking about this fatal ritual like some kind of soup recipe you can just throw a couple extra onions in. Aren’t rituals, like, pretty fucking strict about what you can and can’t do?” “Child, I have studied religion and rituals for centuries before your grandfather was even a sperm in his father’s scrotum,” Azeros stated. “I know the limitations.” “You better because this is my partner’s life we’re talking about here,” Ruben growled. Azeros approached Ruben and took his chin in their thin clawed hand. The dragon leered deeply into the human’s eyes but Ruben didn’t waver. Azeros released him and turned to Sydryn. “My dear, when you told me they were in a lover’s quarrel, I had my doubts about this working, but this child is absolutely madly in love. He’s perfect.” Ruben and Dante both glanced at each other, turned away, and blushed. Azeros’s joy only grew. “There’s no faith greater than trusting one’s life to another. Köbi, please look over this tome with me.” “Right.” The angel walked over beside the dragon and read through the ritual they were to perform. From beyond another door, Sydryn was wheeling in IV equipment, including a reclining medical bed, a pole and empty blood bags. They’d also changed into scrubs and they were probably the brightest pink scrubs anyone had ever seen. “Ruben, please join me here.” Ruben walked over and sat down as the doctor got set up. “Forgot you were a licensed doctor for a second… So I’m giving blood the old fashion way then.” “No, the old fashion way would be the way that book describes it,” Sydryn said. “We’d just cut open your palm and Dante’s with some rusty old knife, and make you clasp them tightly together, just hoping your blood would enter his. It’s barbaric and likely to get you killed. This way,” they held up the IV bag, “is definitely the newest way of doing things.” “Geez.” Ruben rubbed his arm. “I’m 33, not 303. IV is the old fashion way to me…” “Being the only way in your lifetime doesn’t make it old,” Sydryn stated. “Put your legs up and your arm out.” Dante went over and sat on the edge of the table nearest the blood donation. He kissed Ruben’s head as the doctor checked his boyfriend’s temperature. “Thank god you’re not my brother. You’d have to knock him out to get blood out of Lino.” “Trust me, I am always glad I’m not your brother,” Ruben stated. Sydryn finished up checking his health then sterilised the the skin over the vein they were going to use. “Count back from five.” “How much are you tak—Ow. Fuck, man,” Ruben complained. “A pint. It’s not my fault you didn’t count,” Sydryn said, taping down the needle now stuck into Ruben’s arm. A machine on a trolley nearby cradled the the IV bag and appeared to rock the blood out of Ruben’s arm. Dante gagged and looked away. Ruben frowned. “You too then?” “I’m not afraid of needles like Lino. I just don’t like seeing blood…” “Then you might want to close your eyes for the whole ritual,” Azeros input, looking up from the codex. “It is entirely blood based.” Dante paled a bit but Ruben rubbed his shoulder with his free arm. “You’re going to be fine,” Ruben said. “You’ll have my blood in you from now on.” “No, Dante’s body will have replaced the blood in about a hundred to a hundred and twenty days,” Sydryn corrected. “It’s the demon’s blood which has lived inside him for so long.” “Wait…” Ruben frowned. “So this whole bonding thing is because Dusty’s blood is inside Dante’s? Would that have any affect on Marco?” “The child? Did you even take basic biology in school?” Sydryn asked. “Actually, no. I didn’t,” Ruben said. Not finishing high school was always a soft spot for him. Dante ran his hand through Ruben’s hair. “Only my DNA was passed on to Marco. Not the contents of my blood. Only Yori’s blood could’ve had an affect on Marco, but I don’t even know if Yori has blood…” “He doesn’t,” Sydryn stated. “What’s a Yori?” Köbi asked getting curious. “Dog spirit.” “A spirit you say?” Azeros asked, interest also peaked. “Like a ghost or a god?” “Wouldn’t you like to know,” Sydryn scoffed. They left the room for a moment only to bring back cookies for Ruben. It took another ten minutes for the bag to fill, and then Ruben was cleaned up and they were ready to start the ritual.

#lore #Sydryn #Köbi #Dante #Dusty #Ruben #Azeros #dragon #demon #angel #new character

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chimcharstar · 5 years ago

Note

1-50 ho

you got it ho

1. What’s your favorite candle scent?

I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED. ive been Purchasing various smelly candles for my gay divination activities, and i have a few nominees. i first thought of the candle i have now, a pink one with a very sweet vanilla smell, i love very sweet smells because it makes me think of candy which i tend to try to fill my inner void with. however im going to go with the first candle i bought, a dark orange one with a citrus smell. citrus scents are my next favourite and specifically this one reminded me of curiously smelling candles at my piano teachers apartment when i was very young.

2. What female celebrity do you wish was your sister?

idk. ive been listening to her lion king stuff lately. dont judge me i needed to hear remixes of lion king music i was lost in that sauce in high school. and i just think shes neat. i dont think she would aggressively make me feel bad about everything, UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE

3. What male celebrity do you wish was your brother?

Look……. i really don’t know???? what is the criteria?? do they need to be like my siblings? dare i criticize my arguably criticizable siblings by picking out my ideal siblings? if i pick an ideal sibling, what does that say about what im lacking in my life? do i pick celebrities i hate so theoretically my family shames them into becoming silent and self-defeating

4. How old do you think you’ll be when you get married?

50. i think im going to have to figure myself out for a long time, and achieve some personal goals first. thats my excessively confident prediction and PERHAPS educated guess

5. Do you know a hoarder?

nnnnnoooooooo????? not a real, cant function because of hoarding hoarder. i can see in a few family members, including myself, liking to hang onto things that maybe become sentimental/unnecessary clutter but that sounds like something many non-hoarders experience?

6. Can you do a split?

lemme try one sec

7. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike?

Idk maybe 7? Or 11? i think my parents taught me at a children age and then i started biking for fun like, later, like pre middle school?

8. How many oceans have you swam in?

1. i dont really remember swimming in an ocean but i may have faded childhood memories of salty water and seaweed

9. How many countries have you been to?

2… i went to idaho for a band trip… my dad really doesnt like travelling

10. Is anyone in your family in the army?

HAHAHA

NO. ACTUALLY YES. but its funny because the specific brand of christianity we are supposed to be is super pacifist so ive heard. but then i remembered one dude apparently who joined the us military?????? it seemed like it was… an unusual choice. i dont really know anything else about this guy, not even his name

11. What would you name your daughter if you had one?

🙏 *inhale* buddy. oooooohhffffff i want to say something gender neutral honestly. i dont want to rock the boat being unconventional or something but im just thinking of all those years trying to live up to a feminine name

12. What would you name your son if you had one?

same i guess… why have i never thought about this????? was i preoccupied naming myself.

13. What’s the worst grade you got on a test?

hmmmmm hmmmmm trying to unlock the vault. i think i remember a 1 or a 0 on a math quiz. i think i got 30% or something very very bad (i dont even want to know) on my last english exam, but to be fair, i was having such a bad mental breakdown my professor did an intervention

14. What was your favorite TV show when you were a child?

like a very very small child? i was obsessed with the save-ums (?!?!?) for some reason. i would sing the anthem… no. theme song? i dont know. i guess it was catchy and there were lots of fun characters. OHHHH I SEE WHATS WRONG

ITS BECAUSE WE ONLY HAD A TV TILL I WAS LIKE 5 OR SOMETHING. what are you cultured people watching as children? what are the shows?

15. What did you dress up as on Halloween when you were eight?

>:(

My Halloween experience:

i dont even remember i probably had some kind of fairy wings? i think i remember fairy wings. we went to one (1) house. later on, since we werent allowed to go trick-or-treating, we were each allotted a certain amount of candy, and if we ate more than a designated amount per day, we were in trouble and wouldnt be allowed anymore. i do remember getting in trouble for this. i think i stole someones candy. sibling against sibling. finally we were allowed to go trick or treating, i went with my younger brothers and by then, was a teenager and felt too tall and really uncomfortable

LMAO I JUST REMEMBERED THAT LAST TIME WE WENT TRICK-OR-TREATING NOT IN A RURAL AREA, my dad drove us around in a van and watched us like a hawk i believe. it was very tense and methodical.

16. Have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Twilight series?

i read the harry potter series (I WROTE SIBLIGS LOL) more times than i could count while growing up. i read the first hunger games book and didnt fancy it for whatever reason, and i had an obnoxious twilight-hating phase.

17. Would you rather have an American accent or a British accent?

sometimes, though, im really genuinely worried about what accent i do have. im worried i read so much harry potter growing up, it rubbed off on me. when i was a server, people would ask about an unusual accent i apparently had, and once, when i was talking to a super british guy who called me luv at walmart, he was like STOP. WAIT. YOU HAVE A BRITISH ACCENT. and i was like WHAT UHHH BYEBYE AND HE WAS LIKE NO. I HEARD YOU. STOP and i was like that michael jackson meme where he covers his face running away and everyone else in the line was staring

18. Did your mother go to college?

i believe she went to a bible college where people put a grand piano on top of the roof.

19. Are your grandparents still married?

all of my grandparents are dead.

…. hmmMMMM yow. ok. my grandparents who werent estranged stayed married for as long as either of them were living… however, my OTHER grandparents, i mean the fucking kidnappers, my abuser grandpa… remarried? when he was… really really aging. im judging him for it because i know what kind of person he was.

20. Have you ever taken karate lessons?

I WISH. my parents didnt seem to like that sort of thing (surprise). im interested in it now but… as usual… i feel like its too late, im too old.

21. Do you know who Kermit the frog is?

….. i… i thought i did… hes blessed… thats all.

22. What’s the first amusement park you’ve been to?

ಠ_ಠ

*crickets*

how could you ask me this?

no wait! i went to the waterslides. then, later on, i was never allowed to go to the waterslides.

23. What language, besides your native language, would you like to be fluent in?

Spanish. ive been “intending” to learn for a long time, and a lot of people who have been really good influences on me and been genuinely kind to me speak it, id like to learn it

24. Do you spell the color as grey or gray?

grey

one sec

yup thats canadian!

25. Is your father bald?

on the top of his head, yes >:(

26. Do you know triplets?

no?

27. Do you prefer Titanic or The Notebook?

no? what is this straight stuff? i listened to the dramatic titanic song and felt nothing.

28. Have you ever had Indian food?

i guess so, at a friends house! i dont think otherwise ive gone to a restaurant and actually had indian food

29. What’s the name of your favorite restaurant?

*gazes tearily at my OWN FUCKING OLD WORKPLACE

the food was sO GOOD MAN. IT WAS SO GOOD. im just not saying because despite how stalkable i probably am already, i dont want to be specific

30. Have you ever been to Olive Garden?

no whats that

31. Do you belong to any warehouse stores (Costco, BJ’s, etc.)?

belong? whats bjs? whats a warehouse for?

32. What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender?

i decided at one point they would never tell me this and it was no use asking. i do know they almost named my brother a very fusty old fashioned name fitting in with the thomas the tank engine theme

33. If you have a nickname, what is it?

G is the ONLY one i will accept so far.

34. Who’s your favorite person in the world?

i……… hmmmm…. i really dont like picking favourites. each person in my life has a unique relationship with me (even though a lot of them arent very warm, trusting or close). because of unhealthy middle school friendships ive grown an aversion to ranking relationships as if they have material value.

35. Would you rather live in a rural area or in the suburbs?

rural, i think. i need nature in my life!!! but i also need to be able to have connections to people.

36. Can you whistle?

yes, but not very loudly or accurately

37. Do you sleep with a nightlight?

no, but ive always wanted a nightlight

38. Do you eat breakfast every morning?

ive started to, yeah! this morning i made a whole thing with bread and mushrooms and eggs, and coffee, and i ate it outside watching the traffic. im really trying to treat myself nicely you see. its what id do for someone else.

39. Do you take any pills or medication daily?

THAT

BOY

JUICE!

WELCOME TO MY BUILD A BOY WORKSHOP!

SHOTS!SHOTS!SHOTS!

and im really fortunate to be in pretty good health, and have access to things i do need

40. What medical conditions do you have?

I dont think… i actually have any. id say gender dysphoria but i think it was informed consent. (im VERY lucky)

im pretty sure there are SOME mental conditions running around undiagnosed. MY BRAIN IS NOT WORKING PROPERLY

41. How many times have you been to the hospital?

for myself? once… when i got hives and started swelling up all over, but otherwise was fine. i really wonder what that was. other times was visiting sick/dying relatives which has made me feel sad and apprehensive whenever i enter a hospital or smell the food

42. Have you ever seen Finding Nemo?

yes! i had a gerbil named nemo!

43. Where do you buy your jeans?

i dont … remember … really nowhere special i actually have yet to find some jeans i LOVE. sometimes there is a pair of jeans that sparks joy. i do not have such a pair

44. What’s the last compliment you got?

my sister said my pants looked good on me. they are actually their pants, which they left on the floor in my room for an unknown reason, and they want them back. of course.

but because im excited about it and want to brag, the real compliment was when i made borscht and my sister not only ate it faster than me, but wanted a second helping. and my roommate stuck his face in the steam and said it smelled good. hell yes. i put fucking cilantro in it. fcking beast mode.

45. Do you usually remember your dreams in the morning?

yes. theyre usually really emotional and symbolic. if ive been talking to my parents, theyre usually nightmares. ive been reading about dream interpretation for a long time to deal with some of the ominous images that can come up

46. What flavor tea do you enjoy?

red rose reminds me of wheni was little my mom would make really sweet sweet red rose tea for me (thats the kind she drinks all the time) and it brings me those good feelings. otherwise licorice spice really appeald to me for some reason.

47. How many pairs of shoes do you currently own?

LMAO UHHH…brb

six. because of social pressure.

48. What religion will you raise your children to practice?

i never thought about this kind of thing…. i really don’t know….. id just want them to know how to be kind to others and themselves and thats literally it.

49. How old were you when you found out that Santa wasn’t real?

i was one of those edgy kids trying to spoil it for everyone. guess what other common fun thing my parents didnt do

50. Why do you have a youtube?

i dont! so i dont know what this question means! :)

HOLY SHIT I MADE IT THRU HIGH FIVE

#rambling #WOW #bug

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willowdrabbles · 6 years ago

Text

Little bird no more Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Flapping

Word count: 4763

Rating: M (as per usual)

Letting out a loud yelp that sounded like a pup getting its tail stepped on, Kagome jumped from her sitting place and, with a wrench in her gut, felt her feet slip on the muddy bank.

"Shit!" She screeched, her arms flailing as her body tilted forward. Somewhere in the back of her mind she registered her hand slapping something, hard, but she was too focused on trying to turn herself as she skidded downward.

Closing her eyes and cringing at the impending impact into the water, Kagome felt an arm slip around her waist and a shoulder brace her head as she splashed into the water, drenching her legs and her bum in the cool drink.

Slowly opening her eyes she looked up to her savior, blinking owlishly at the golden irises that met her blue ones.

"Th-thank you Sesshomaru." She said softly as he stood, bringing her with him. All the while sporting an unamused stare. He did not remove his arm from around her waist once she stood, as if holding her there in case she took a second tumble.

"Aw man… Sango just gave me these." Kagome frowned at her slightly muddy legs and assumed her butt looked the same. She saw the mud on Sesshomaru's pants as well, being lightly brushed off with the current of the river, and looked at him again. "I am so sorry Sesshomaru."

Sesshomaru made a small grunting noise. "It is a wonder you have not lost limbs yet priestess."

"Kagome." She said automatically, using the lapping water to wipe away some of the mud. It soaked her further but she figured she was here, might as well wash off while she could even if she froze to death. She paused in her splashing to glance at him, eyes flickering between his empty sleeve and his face. "Wait was that a joke?"

Sesshomaru did not respond, stepping closer now that she seemed finished with washing the immediate mud from her clothes. His arm further curled around her waist, fingers gently gripping into her hip and holding her close.

Kagome, unsure of what was happening, felt her tongue stutter as she tried to question him.

Before she could fully form a sentence though, they both launched from the river and landed solidly on the bank, much further up than she had been sitting before. Kagome shivered with the breeze on her cold wet legs, and silently stared in wonder as Sesshomaru's pelt once more curved over her shoulders and wrapped around her like a tortilla.

"I feel like a fluffy burrito." She muttered, clamping a hand over her mouth when she realized she had spoken out loud. Peeking at Sesshomaru, she was shocked to see an expression of mild confusion on his face.

"A.. Burrito?" Though he had some other ideas in mind as to what he could say she looked like, his subconscious beast purring in absolute satisfaction at the sight of her in his pelt, there was no way he could say she looked like a burrito not knowing what it was. She was however comfortable looking in his opinion.

"Ah… it's a food from another continent, usually meat and beans and rice rolled in a…" how the hell does one describe a tortilla? "Like a thin flat pastry kinda thing?" Kagome shrugged, feeling the white pelt tickle her chin as she did so. "I might be able to learn how to make it. Or bring some with me someday." She suggested, noticing his face had not changed while she offered her minimal explanation.

"Hn. Come." Sesshomaru uttered as he turned with a flourish of silk, Kagome quietly following behind him. The sky was darkening quickly with the cloud cover, blood red sky peeking over hills on the horizon where the clouds ended, giving Kagome's human eyes plenty of light to still see as she walked behind the stoic lord. Though perhaps, she began to suspect, not so stoic all the time.

"So have you ever traveled beyond uh… This continent?" Kagome queried, burying her hands into the fur as they walked and silently let herself be enthralled by the texture.

"The vanishing Island of half demon children. I have had no reason to go further."

Kagome pursed her lips and nodded. "Yeah, if you have no interest in going then why go? I get that." She nodded, noticing he had slowed to allow her to walk beside him.

"No requirement yet. My father made treaties with the demons across the sea many years ago, long before I was born. They have not breached the treaties, as such I have no need to venture there. Yet."

"So some day?" Kagome tilted her head, earning a small nod from Sesshomaru.

"Yes. Some day my quest for supreme conquest will take me there." He stated simply, making her smile in amusement. Something that did not escape his notice. "That amuses you?"

"A little." She admitted. "I've never known the appeal for supreme conquest."

"You do not have the strive nor the capability for such with your short lifespan." Sesshomaru countered.

"Ive seen humans attempt it. Some succeed quite a bit in their time. What I don't get is what seems so great about it."

"What is greater than supreme conquest?" Sesshomaru shot at her, narrowing his eyes.

"Someone to share it with for one." Sesshomaru glared, and she rolled her eyes. "One day you'll get it. Besides, if you conquer everything then what?"

His face relaxed mildly as he considered her question. "Then you rule." He answered as if it was the most obvious thing.

Kagome shook her head "No I mean… The part of completing a life goal is to move on to the next. What is the point if you've conquered everything, then there's nothing left to see.

There was several minutes of quiet contemplation on his end before he quietly responded. "We shall see."

Kagome hummed, appreciating their talks more and more. Sango was great to share her secrets and worries with, Miroku was a wonderful conversationalist when his hand did not wander, and Shippo to her was still only a child. Inuyasha… the corners of her lips slightly curved down.

Inuyasha… All they seemed to talk about lately was Kikyo Naraku and jewel shards. That is if they spent a few minutes not fighting. Even before it was mostly her chatting and him grunting in response. But there was no inkling to what he was thinking, if anything at all.

Sesshomaru however, seemed to give her just enough to have an idea of his response. She had to conclude, not a stoic lord after all.

"Your mind wanders to my little brother." Sesshomaru's voice jolted her from thought, and she whipped her head to stare at him. Unphased, Sesshomaru blinked at her and quipped out an answer to the question in her eyes. "You retain a peculiar expression when he comes to your mind."

Kagome huffed in irritation "You can't know that."

"Anyone with the observation of a rock would know that." Sesshomaru quipped back.

She sped up Her steps to come to a stop in front of him, pointing a finger at his chest as she did so l-listen here buster! I-" her words died as she saw the tiny little quirks at the corners of his lips. They were small, but noticeable all the same. "You… you're joking again!"

"You are sufficiently easy to distract, Miko." Sesshomaru's tiny amused smile did not leave his face as he spoke, his eyes slowly starting to reveal his amusement shining in them. As Kagome puffed up to retort, his amusement fell and his feet halted. "We have arrived at your village."

Kagome blinked and turned around, confirming indeed that they had arrived back just on the outskirts of the village. The sky was now dark, and lanterns and torches had been lit. Kaede's hut was glowing from within, and all around her she could smell the mouthwatering scent of the villagers preparing their evening meals.

"Oh.. So we have…. Everyone's prepping dinner-" Kagome turned around and noticed he was walking off again. "Hey!" She scampered after him, pulling his pelt around her shoulders as she did, though the thing seemed intent on clinging to her. Sesshomaru watched her fuss with and sighed.

"Keep mokomoko for the evening. You shall not catch ill this night." Sesshomaru started to turn away again.

Kagome stammered in his offer, though she found it difficult to disagree that his 'mokomoko' or whatever would keep her incredibly warm through the night and her wet clothes. She wanted to disagree but found herself lacking, thinking of what would happen if she did catch a cold. The spark died in her and she withheld her own sigh. "Right. Can't afford to catch a cold and hold up the shard hunt any more." Kagome muttered. Looking down and away.

Because her gaze was cast to the side, she did not see him stop once more. "The hunt for the jewel is of no concern to me."

'Right, he only concerns about Naraku. Same thing really.' Kagome blinked and took a deep breath, putting aside her hurt and turning away from the Daiyoukai and heading towards Kaede's hut once more. She glanced over her shoulder once more to see Sesshomaru standing there watching her with an unreadable expression. "Thank you Sesshomaru." She said softly before continuing on her way.

Just as she felt the aura of the dog demon dissipate, she heard the wonderful familiar cries of the children she had come to adore. Shippo and Rin barred across the grass to stop in front of her, grinning widely and welcoming her back, for Shippo welcoming her back again.

"Hey Rin, how have you been?" Kagome smiled at her as the trio made their way back.

"I have been well thank you Kagome! My lord showed me his Shiro where he has hoards of scrolls of history! Then we came back and he began training Shippo and I even get to watch! Why are you wearing mokomoko lady Kagome?" Rin tilted her head as they walked, making Kagome giggle.

"I fell in the river. Sesshomaru was kind enough to make sure I was warm." She said diplomatically. Shippo frowned and said nothing, escaping Kagome's notice.

"That is unfortunate! But that was very thoughtful of lord Sesshomaru." Rin paused for a breath then jumped as though a thought had just occurred to her. "Lady Kagome! Did you get the flowers I left for you? They were to thank you for saving me!"

Kagome felt as if she paled considerably. "You… were the one that left me flowers?" She asked quietly.

Rin's smile faltered at her expression and she nodded. "I am sorry… did you not like them?"

Kagome frantically shook her head and reached out to brush her fingers through rins hair without disturbing her ponytail. "No no I loved them! I just didn't know they were from you!"

Rin perked up again, easily appeased. "Oh that's alright! I am just happy you liked them!"

They had just arrived at Kaede's hut, pushing the screen aside, the trio were quietly greeted by their comrades who all sat around the hearth, focused on eating what looked like a hearty stew dinner. Kagome's mouth watered and she spotted her bag, right next to Sango. Thinking back, she vaguely remembered it slipping from her shoulder when she sat Inuyasha, and was glad someone had grabbed it.

It was abnormally quiet, until her eyes landed on Inuyasha in the far corner. He had a look of pure shock and bubbling anger on his face. She was about to ask him what his deal was when he burst, making everyone except Shippo jerk in surprise.

"The fuck are you wearing that bastards pelt for?!" Inuyasha practically snarled, looking like he was ready to leap from his sitting position.

Everyone looked up to Kagome, blinking as they all realized that Kagome was indeed wearing the big fluffy thing that normally adorned Sesshomaru. All eyes focused on her made Kagome stammer with nervousness. "I uh… I fell in the river." She wrung her hands together before sitting down.

"Are you alright Kagome? Did Sesshomaru help you and that's why you are wearing that?" Sango, as graceful as ever, steered the topic to a safer direction as she poured Kagome a bowl of stew before offering it to her.

Kagome grabbed the bowl gratefully and nodded. "He did, and gave me this to keep warm."

"Bullshit! That thing is probably gonna possess you or some shit!" Inuyasha stood and stomped over to kagome, when she saw his hand reach out she snapped at him.

"Sit!" She humphed at him when he planted into the floorboards, "Don't be rude Inuyasha! He got wet too trying to keep me from falling and was nice enough to offer me this…"

"Mokomoko!" Rin added helpfully, promptly stuffing her face with more stew immediately.

"Mokomoko, thank you Rin. He's probably going to travel with us since he offered to help train me and Shippo and you're just gonna have to get used to him being around!"

"Really now?" Miroku asked, genuinely surprised as he chewed his food and looked at kagome curiously. Everyone else except Shippo shared such looks with her and she felt heat rush to her face. 'I guess I haven't told them that…'

"You've gotta be-!"

"Sit boy." Kagome sighed, not feeling like dealing with his interruptions. "Right.. well when Sesshomaru brought me back to the well two weeks ago, he offered to train me and Shippo. In exchange I also help out with Rin."

Rin looked shocked, but not at all displeased with this information, a glow of joy lighting her up from the inside.

"That actually sounds more than reasonable. The enemies of Naraku won't be as far spread, so when the time comes to face him again we will easily stand as one and have a better chance with that." Miroku nodded, going back to his bowl with vigor since had had his say.

"I don't mind, he's been good with Shippo so far, no reason to deny his generous offer. We could all use some time to sharpen our skill and improve our tactics as a whole. I can also help you, Kagome, with some close combat moves." Sango offered her two cents as well, smiling when Kagome nodded eagerly.

"Then it's settled!" Kagome cheered, about to take a bite of her food when Inuyasha interrupted once more.

"Don't I get a say in this?!" He wailed from the floor, shooting everyone an angry glare.

"What could you possibly say besides 'you don't like it' Inuyasha?" Miroku barked at him, allowing Kagome the moment she needed to finally start digging in. Inuyasha quieted for the moment, staring at the floorboards in contemplation. "As it is, we must stand as one and let petty grudges sit aside while we focus on the main task at hand, for all we know, Naraku has all the remaining jewel shards and we are sorely at a disadvantage. Ignoring the help of your brother- a Daiyoukai at that- is foolhardy at best and I won't listen to your nonsense a moment longer!" Miroku snapped, narrowing his dark violet eyes at the half breed.

After a moment of stiff silence, satisfied that it seemed Inuyasha would not be countering again, Miroku went back to eating with Kagome, who had only decided to close her eyes and pointedly not say anything.

'Serves him right. He can't be right all the time, our opinions matter too.' Kagome thought haughtily, peeking one eye open as she hear Inuyasha stand and slowly exit the hut, his bangs covering his expression well.

"I for one am happy to join you all!" Rin said to break the silence, easing them all back into quiet conversation.

"I am too Rin. By the way Sango, I didn't get the chance earlier, but thank you so much for the clothes and armor, I'm so excited to use them!" Kagome beamed at the lightly blushing Sango.

"I'm glad, though it can be a pain to take on and off, it could be the difference of life or death for you. And after.." Sango's face paled a bit as she glanced at Kagome's shoulder, a haunted shadow flickering across her eyes. "Well… you know. I would prefer you to not get that hurt again."

Kagome nodded, keeping a small reassuring smile on her face as she continued eating, everyone else turning to other quiet conversations on the journey ahead.

Long after everyone had settled in for the night, Kagome stirred and tossed in her sleeping bag, not disturbing Shippo as he snored beside her. A small moan escaped her lips as dreams whirled and swarmed in her head.

With a loud gasp she jerked up, the sleeping bag falling away and Shippō rolling away with a light snore. Once again Kagome found herself examining her surroundings with fear while the rest of her body remained locked and frozen. Her eyes straining to see in the dark over the dim light of the coals. Everyone seemed to be sleeping well and unharmed.

Swallowing thickly, her body released at the realization that there was no danger, the echoes of her dream fading from the edges of her mind while she rubbed her throat. Reaching into her pack and grabbing a bottle of water, she took a large gulp and shifted fully out of her sleeping bag.

'I need air.' She slipped on her shoes and the thick yukata Sango had given her and glanced around, Sesshomaru's pelt was oddly nowhere to be seen. Though given it seemed to have a will of its own, Kagome worried if she was to be responsible for it. It wouldn't do her any good if Sesshomaru was angry with her for losing his pelt like thing.

Deciding to ponder it later, she dipped out the door and into the cool air.

Like she feared, winter was fast approaching. Clouds dotted the sky and the nip in the air tickled her cheeks and turned them red. Besides a few torches lighting paths in the heart of the village, it was quiet and dark. At least for her.

Normally the sounds of the modern era were 'quiet'. Having grown up there, the background noise of the future were once nothing more than sounds on the breeze. Here, her ears strained for those formerly familiar sounds, and so were incredibly sensitive to the distinct silence the past offered.

She hasn't even realized how far she had wandered when a voice made her jump out of her skin.

"Go back to bed Kagome, I want us moving tomorrow."

A hand grasping her yukata, eyes wide and searching the dark branches above her, she could barely see Inuyasha with the minimal light of the moon.

"Inuyasha! You scared the life out of me! What's your problem?" She snapped back at him, irritated now with adrenaline rushing through her.

"Feh, I ain't got no problem. You're the one tottering around like a lost pup in the middle of the night." She could see a shift of his shadow, and could easily imagine the movement being him tightening his arms across his chest.

"Forget you." Kagome muttered, knowing well he could hear her anyways, and turned to follow one of the dirt trails down to the water where she had been earlier in the day.

Now keenly aware of his aura, she was able to tell that he followed her, leaping from the tree and trailing after her silently, keeping a distance from her as she walked carefully across the hard packed earth.

Not wanting a repeat of earlier, she stopped short of the banking hill, balling her fists before glancing at the red clad half demon.

"What?"

Inuyasha jerked to a stop in his slow tailing, narrowing his eyes at her before looking to the side. Now able to at least see him a bit better, she could see the hesitation and uncertainty in his face. Her own softened and her fists loosened, she asked again with a long sigh "what is it Inuyasha?" She didn't try to hide the exasperation in her voice.

Inuyasha looked back at her, as if he had already been proper admonished without her doing so.

"I'm sorry for the things I said… before…" he said softly, golden eyes flickering between the ground and her face.

Kagome blinked but her exasperated tone did not evaporate. "Which ones? About Naraku's escape being my fault? Or did you have something else on your mind that you shouldn't have said?" Kagome out right glared at him, her fists clenching once more.

Inuyasha's ears lowered. "I'm worried about ya, alright? You know Sesshomaru can't be trusted."

"Just like Kikyo can't be trusted."

"Damnit Kagome it's not the same thing and you know it! I'm just trying to apologize here-"

"No it's not the same thing! Sesshomaru has the same goals as us and hasn't been after your sword for a long time now and you know that! He's been nothing but decent these past few months, and he's saved me. Whatever Rin is to him, it's changed him."

Inuyasha let a low growl hum in his chest as he glared back at her "Kikyo has-"

"Kikyo has tried to kill us both." Kagome snapped. "And though Sesshomaru has as well in the past, at least he's shown he has changed. Over these years it's only been me saving Kikyo, me risking my life and my health for Kikyo. You risking your life and limb for Kikyo. Us stopping the hunt for the shards for you to see Kikyo. Us being at a disadvantage when Kikyo steals my shards, she has done nothing but make things worse for us then act self righteous because she's dead."

Kagome felt hot tears slipping down her cheeks, and for once her voice did not falter, so she continued. "Kikyo has nothing but evil in her, I know that for a fact now. You can't keep defending her when she does nothing but hurt you Inuyasha!"

Inuyasha looked like he was prepping his next argument until her last bit, his brows furrowing at her words.

"What do you mean she's got nothin but evil? She's got your soul Kagome!"

"She has a piece of me that I won't be getting back. She has a sliver of the evil of the jewel and her old shriveled hateful soul in her, but she doesn't have my soul." Kagome growled out at him, watching as his face shifted to shock and confusion. The gears were obviously turning, but not all the pieces were there.

"You know something I don't." He finally said softly, looking at her accusingly.

Kagome grunted and shook her head. "Yeah, for once I do." She said the second half sarcastically. Sitting down, she gestured for him to sit next to her, and focused her eyes on the black liquid that made up the river.

"You've been in such a foul mood I haven't told you…"

When Inuyasha sat down, Kagome went into detail about her meeting with Midoriko and Sesshomaru. Only stopping once to hit him in the shoulder when he made a comment of her hallucinating, Kagome peered at him as he contemplated everything she said.

"So you've got some sorta power that's gonna bring Naraku to an end… And you're not Kikyo's reincarnation?" He summed up with a purse of his lips, not looking directly at her.

"Pretty much. And honestly, I think Sesshomaru is the key." She admitted quietly.

"Feh! I'm stronger than he is!" Inuyasha growled out.

"Be realistic Inuyasha." The quiet serious tone of her voice took him by surprise. "Even you haven't been able to kill him yet. And he's a Daiyoukai with enormous power. AND with Tenseiga and Tokijin, he's probably our best bet against Magatsuhi. I'm not saying you're weak, far from it. But weakness can also come from being unwilling to accept help." She met his eyes once more, and the deep contemplation in her blue eyes made him lower his ears again. "How many times have we all banded together and won? Compared to fighting alone? You know I'm right."

"Yeah but I don't have to like it." He muttered, just loud enough for her to hear.

"You don't have to like it but don't fight everyone every step of the way." Kagome snapped, making him flinch before she toned down her voice. "I could have taken Kikyo's suggestion, I could have shot that arrow. But I chose not to risk our allies lives in a desperate move to finish it, that may not have even worked. All I ask is you not put everyone in danger with your pride."

Inuyasha swallowed loudly, staring at her for several heartbeats before looking away, his flat golden eyes staring up at the moon when it peeled through a cloud. The small moment of illumination seemed to stir something in him, and he nodded.

"Alright. I see your point. I still won't like it, but I guess we don't have much of a choice." Kagome smiled softly at him and leaned her shoulder into his.

"Thanks Kagome." He whispered, allowing them a few more minutes of quiet comfort in each others presence before insisting she head back to bed for the night.

Walking her back to Kaede's hut in silence, Kagome was startled when Inuyasha stopped, and gently grabbed her hand to stop her as well, his eyes downcast.

"Inuyasha?" she stepped back towards him, chills running up her arms as he grabbed her other hand, his eyes still focused on her fingers.

"Thanks Kagome." He said softly again, less of a stubborn tone in his voice, squeezing her fingers before letting her go, and in a flash of red he disappeared, bounding into the darkness faster than her human eyes could follow. With a soft blush on her cheeks, Kagome turned and went back inside the quiet hut filled with her sleeping friends.

Early the next morning, kagome was jostled awake by Shippo, his bright green eyes still slightly dark with sleep and his cheeks pink, but his hair groomed and his clothes straightened.

"Come on Kagome, Sesshomaru said you should train with us this morning."

With that, Kagome was hurrying to change into her slayers under garments under her sleeping bag. Throwing on the brown yukata on top and quickly brushing her hair into a high ponytail, she was following Shippo out into the damp still morning, bow and quiver in hand, sword on hip.

Dawn was just barely approaching, the sky getting lighter by the second, and only the occasional chirp of a bird broke the silence.

She was just about to ask Shippo where they were headed, a good several yards into the forest line, when she spotted Sesshomaru.

Regal and still, his golden eyes shone like small little suns as he stared at them while they approached.

"You know your task, on your way kit." He said simply, his eyes fixated on kagome.

"Right!" Shippo modded, determination in his eyes before he scampered past sesshomaru, quick and light on his little feet.

"And me?" Kagome asked quietly, feeling any excessive noise would disrupt the beautiful morning.

"And you, shall do the same. Hunt for your pack. A deer or boar would do well to feed them." Sesshomaru said unblinkingly.

Kagome sucked in a sharp breath, blinking at him several times. She had never hunted animals before. The concept wasn't unknown to her, Souta loved watching those survival documentaries all the time. Mostly for the 'necessary' bug eating, but still. The concept was one grasped. However she had never needed to hunt. Her supplies from the future allowed the luxury for them to not have to. When in need Sango or Inuyasha would hunt, but that was so little often, given that Miroku often 'bartered' with villages to get them what supplies she ran out of.

"I've never.."

"I am aware." He interrupted her, "That is why this is your first task. You requested I teach you, as such you will follow my instruction."

Her instinct was to argue but she bit the inside of her cheek, thinking solely on her misery just a few days ago. After last night, she had almost forgotten.

"Right then!" She firmly nodded, gripping her bow tighter and turning on her heel to face away from where they had come.

Let it begin.

#little bird no more #lbnm #inuyasha #sesshomaru #sesskag #kagome #fanfiction

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stabbingandorbeingstabbed · 6 years ago

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i have been tagged by @adz (hey kit!! :-)) and now i will respond to

twenty-one questions

nickname: kady, Evil Kady, Queen Bitch, queen of hell, *muttered* fucking vampire

zodiac: leo sun sagittarius moon aries rising

height: 5′6″

amount of sleep: im usually on massive amounts of vyvanse and that can. keep me awake like indefinitely??? but im also depressed so i like to sleep for days as well?? idk bro its always changing anywhere between 2 hours and 16 hours lmao

last movie i saw: i think the last Movie i watched was suspiria (1977)

last thing i googled: "legend of the crystal skull walkthrough” i found a way to play old nancy drew pc games on my mac and i got stuck lmao

favorite musician: like if i have to pick a singular musician probably sufjan stevens that funky dude does it all :-) but like if bands are allowed obviously mcr 4 ever

song stuck in my head: age of adz by sufjan stevens bc i typed out “adz” earlier lmao

other blogs: i dont rly have other blogs just a bunch of hoarded urls lmao

do i get asks: WAY more than i used to before my blog took a hard left into early aughts emo lmao it still shocks me whenever i get one tho like im nut Used to it and im always like “fuck whatd i do”

blogs following: wait does this mean how many followers do i have or how many blogs am i following?? i'm following 163 and have 1111 followers but i've also had my blog since 2012 and probably hundreds of those are inactive lmao

lucky numbers: 7

what i’m wearing: ive been home for hours but ive still got my big stompy boots on with tights and this b&w striped t-shirt dress i forgot i had bc its way too short to wear in public but has that ever stopped me?? nope

dream trip: well right now my dream trip would be to tag along with manda @anothersuperstition to meet frank in april but like in general i think i just wanna visit nyc as many times as i can bc it feels more like Home than indiana ever has lmao

dream job: i really was made to be in a shitty rock band i s2g like i have no relevant talents other than singing and loving attention but like. i wanna do That lmao

favorite food: im a real slut for non-tomato-based pasta dishes like if its got noodles and some kinda creamy cheesy garlicy sauce and maybe some seafood or chickens in there *italian finger kiss thing* MUAH

languages: english and maybe 2 phrases in french one of which i learned from lady marmalade

play any instruments: i was a child prodigy at the violin but i hated it so now i have a guitar and can play exactly one (1) song (malibu by hole) but i can still sing damn it!!!!!

favorite songs: like of all time?? honestly like since i was abt 12 ive loved the stretch from the jetset life is gonna kill you to the end of the album more than i love most of my extended family

random fact: during my fraught teen years i probably stole like tens of thousands of dollars worth of little things from here and there so now as an adult that still looks like a delinquent im so paranoid i LOOK like im trying to steal stuff that i like. wear both straps of my backpack and never put my hands in my pockets even tho i havent stolen anything in like Years and the mere idea of doing that now like. makes my stomach upset lmao

describe yourself as an aesthetic thing: okay so u know that scene at the end of american beauty where that weirdo is rambling and filming that plastic bag blowing in the wind?? so imagine you spray painted that bag black and when it dried it wasnt as aerodynamic so now when the wind blows its just kinda this. black plastic bag that kinda just limply scoots across the pavement

im gonna tag @anothersuperstition @corpsechic @spooo0n @deadfreddiethealien @a-swamp-creature and @leatherskinsuit but feel free to like ignore this or kill me also if u see this and wanna do it just lie and say i tagged u ok?? cool ok love yoU!!!!!

#kit ur thing abt the implicit indirectness of our communication as mutuals..... your mind #u put into words what usually stops me from tagging anyone besides the like 3 ppl i talk to on here and it made me Braver

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shoutmi · 6 years ago

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✖ I. EMOTIONS / FEELINGS.

01. Altschmerz: ( n. weariness with the same old issues that you’ve always had—the same boring flaws and worries you’ve been gnawing on for years, which leaves them soggy and tasteless and inert, with nothing interesting left to think about, nothing left to do but spit them out and wander off to the backyard, ready to dig up some fresher pain you might have buried long ago.)

02. Exulansis: ( n. the tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it—whether through envy or pity or simple foreignness—which allows it to drift away from the rest of your life story, until the memory itself feels out of place, almost mythical, wandering restlessly in the fog, no longer even looking for a place to land.)

03. Trepidation: ( n. a feeling of FEAR or anxiety about something that may happen. nervousness, an innate emotion that you’ve had ever since you were a child— trauma-born. it keeps you moving, it keeps you alive. you are a wild animal that can feel no less.)

04. Yearning: ( n. a feeling of intense longing for something. for someone. for some place to be. unquenchable desire that sits by your bedside until you’re able to satiate your unease by finally getting what you want. you want to belong; you want to love. lust is entwined around your beating heart.)

05. Melancholy: ( n. a feeling of pensive sadness, typically with no obvious cause. you’re not alone, yet you feel alone. why is that?)

✖ II. GREETINGS.

01. A firm nod of the head for strangers, usually accompanied by a subtle smile. 02. Handshakes for newer acquaintances, strong yet punctuated by a grin. 03. Hugging or the holding of the other’s hand while sentiments of pleasure at the meeting are exchanged; reserved for friends. 04. Perhaps a kiss to one cheek or both if the person is of special importance or closeness(and he’s aware that it won’t lead to discomfort ). 05. Warm waving and exciting exclamation of a friend’s name if spotted from afar.

✖ III. COLORS.

01. Gold ( Magic, Illumination, Fire, Treasure, Status ) 02. Red ( Endurance, Rage, Adventure, Violence, Blood, Desire ) 03. White ( Light, Softness, Beginnings, Sanctuary, Holy Matrimony ) 04. Green ( Renewal, Growth, Mother Nature, Greed ) 05. Blue ( Ocean Waters, Night sky, Trust, Sorrow, Loyalty, Depth )

✖ IV. SCENTS.

01. Vanilla. Io isn’t terribly efficient with cooking or baking, but he’s attempting to learn. He loves the taste of vanilla, so he’s likely to smell like it on certain days. 02. Peppermint from the shampoo he uses. It utilizes natural peppermint extracts, and the scent lingers on his hair. 03. Lavender, after he drinks tea before bed. His favorite blend smells strongly of it and soothes anxiety. 04. Charcoal, predominantly on his hands after drawing with charcoal pencils. He often forgets to wash it off for a bit and may streak it on his clothes or skin. 05. New paper from notebooks is one of his favorite scents, and it tends to follow him thanks to the sheer amount of sktech pads and paper he tends to have with him most of the time.

✖ VI. OBJECTS.

01. Treasure Chest. A personal one for her own usage— near the place where she slumbers on the ship. True to her stereotypical nature as both a pirate and a dragon; Shou is an avid collector of various materialistic objects, so long as they meet the requirement of being shiny and beautiful. From valuable gems to useless scraps of tin foil, she stores them all inside her iron chest so that no one may trifle with them, including her crew mates. Her hoard is significant to her, in the sense that it not only acts as a memory log for her journey out at sea, but also soothes her negative mood when she seeks to play with the trinkets to quell her anxiety. 02. Silk Hanfu (traditional Chinese dress) and Fengguan (traditional headgear for noblewomen and brides). Growing up in Deepwyn, a Hanfu was what Shou frequently wore on most days as the royal daughter of the clan. Elegant and flowing with breathtaking colors; it was never a hassle to be dolled up in her family’s traditional robes, more so a treat for the little girl she had been back then. However, the luxury of donning a Fengguan was only granted to her once, while being taught the official wedding ritual by her elders, for it was mainly grown women who wore the headdresses as a sign of status. The crown was divine— forged with gold, jewels and flowers, and she secretly longed for the day when she got to have it again. Perhaps, even more importantly, it gifted her a rare, fleeting moment of experiencing what it felt like to be an insider. 03. Sake Cup. More so the symbolism of several; clinking in joyous harmony and solidarity over the unbreakable promise of becoming siblings. 04. Warm Jacket. Or a thick coat. Weak to the cold, it’s vital for the reptilian pirate to keep one handy at all times should they happen to encounter frigid temperatures. Nevertheless, nothing quite beats the comforting sensation of the sun’s torrid rays upon bare skin. 05. Wolf Tooth. On a woven string, worn as a necklace and received later on in life. Not from a literal wolf. It’s actually the baby tooth of her biological half-brother Sasha as a parting gift. Canine of the Black Shuck, a good luck charm. Irreplaceable token.

✖ VII. VICES / BAD HABITS.

01. Bad time management. While he’s rarely late for meetings or the like, he has a bad habit of focusing in on one or two things at a time and forgetting the big picture. As a result, he often finds himself overworked during semesters with many projects in university or failing to finish particular tasks he had set for himself (which lead to frustration with himself, etc). 02. Overly critical. This applies primarily to himself, although he can sometimes expect a lot of other people, too. When someone doesn’t give their all to something he feels they should care about, he feels conflicted and will often bring it to their attention, whether his opinion has been asked for or not. 03. Rambling. He talks a lot, and doesn’t always understand when he should stop. This can sometimes lead to him embarrassing himself, or annoying the people around him. 04. Spacing out. With a tendency to become lost in his own thoughts, he can have trouble remaining grounded in reality. He might be in the middle of a class and completely lose the train of discussion. Although he stays fairly attuned to conversations or when others are around, this habit does lead him to jump to specific topics, ideas, or activities that seem to come out of nowhere. 05. Martyr complex. During his brother’s illness, he was expected to be “the good son:” supporting his parents and brother’s girlfriend, not causing anyone to worry about him. This lead to him keeping all of his negative emotions tucked away for the sake of not burdening the people he cares about, even to his own detriment. He doesn’t expect this of anyone else (quite the opposite) and prefers to let everyone think he’s usually satisfied with life in general while being their shoulder to cry on.

✖ VIII. BODY LANGUAGE.

01. Tilting his head when curious. 02. His gaze drifting up the the ceiling or the sky mid-conversation if he’s attempting to gather his thoughts. 03. Biting his bottom lip when frustrated or embarrassed. 04. Chin resting in the palm of his hand, especially if listening or thinking intently. 05. Leaning forward when excited or full of anticipation.

✖ IX. AESTHETICS.

01. Paintings on canvas with muted colors of someone without a distinguishable face. 02. Herbal tea early in the morning or right before bed, the steam curling upwards from the rim of its china cup as it cools. 03. Lake water lapping at a grassy bank as the setting sun reflects on the rippling surface, a myriad of reds and golds. 04. Books placed carefully on a dark mahogany shelf, alphabetized by the title embossed on the spine in curling script. 05. Two hands, palms pressed together, with their fingers intertwined in a tight squeeze.

✖ X. SONGS.

01. Barren by Nicole Dollanganger :

“ — curdled like milk in the summer heat, my skin’s gone soft, my head is spoiled, my heart’s a rabid dog trying to put its teeth in you, you thought you saw light but it was forest fires eating me alive, my limbs are dead and dry, my ribcage cradles dirt and weeds, i’m empty inside.”

02. Keep The Streets Empty For Me by Fever Ray :

” — i’m laying down, eating snow my fur is hot, my tongue is cold on a bed of spider web i think of how to change myself

a lot of hope in a one man tent there’s no room for innocence so take me home before the storm, velvet mites will keep us warm ”

03. Atlas Hands by Benjamin Francis Leftwich :

” — take me to the docks, there’s a ship without a name there and it is sailing to the middle of the sea the water there is deeper than anything you’ve ever seen jump right in and swim until you’re free.”

04. Sister by The Japanese House :

” — fist in a botch my arms as they haul away from your body away from your skin you see, that’s my twin she’s standing aside and she’s my next of kin if only you knew what resided within i won’t let her in that would be callous and crass a chip on my chin you didn’t want me back stark in the dirt; can you tell that she’s hurt? so sharp and alert, she’s such a clean breath.”

05. Wolf by Skott :

“ — i’m a wolf howling in the moonlight, calling out like a fool howling On your doorstep, calling out

i hate that everything’s different my clothes, my haircut is different but still I’m feeling the same what is eternal about love? if there’s a way to turn it off you know, so show me the way.”

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forestlion · 7 years ago

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@agardenintheshire tagged me!!! thank youuu!!!!

1. Which book has been on your shelves the longest? probably some. Prinzessin Lillifee book, havent cleaned my shelf in a long long, long long long, long long time. also, and i say this as a southern raised catholic child: the bible and the children’s bible

2. What is your current read, your last read and the book you’ll read next? present: ive been gnawing on Sturmhöhe (Wuthering Heights) for quite some while

past: some... either Disability Studies text or Native American Studies text bc i’ve gone from The Biggest Reader to I Can’t Be Bothered Who Has Cursed Me To Become This Shell Of Myself

future: i really want to read the “new” harry potter book-play? but the negative reviews etc around it has put me off.... don’t know

3. Which book does everyone like and you hated? The Mortal Instruments Saga (bzw. Chroniken der Unterwelt) lmaoooooooo....bitch......fuck that shit. i have offended people with my opinion on this in the past, frankly, darling, i dont give a damn

4. Which book do you keep telling yourself you’ll read, but you probably won’t? mmmh yes maybe the Harry Potter play...... i just don’t know. i love HP, i dont want to ruin it for myself.

5. Which book are you saving for “retirement?” ????????? im leonie im 21 and i never learned how to retire

6. Last page: read it first or wait till the end? ...............theres...........nothing wrong with doing this you haters..........i just...... Gotta Know. sometimes i even do this with movies. i just need to know if its worth it? if the end is interesting enough to get me thru bitch

7. Acknowledgements: waste of ink and paper or interesting aside? i didnt write the book, so, authors, acknowledge whomst you want. the book woulda been 20 bucks with or without 2 pages of acknowledgements probably anyway

8. Which book character would you switch places with? i want to be someone from Harry Potter but after Harry Potter when nothings happening except exams bc i love magic so much!!!!!!!! i want to fucking..... magic!!!!!!! “youre a wizard harry” GOD I WISH THAT WERE ME. also cathy from Wuthering Heights, just to know what its like to have a Kate Bush song written about you lmao

9. Do you have a book that reminds you of something specific in your life (a person, a place, a time)? i guess so. Hunger Games and Percy Jackson reminds me of early high school, when me and my friends would always trade books. also 16 Moons (i think its called?) reminds me of a Mallorca holiday. yes, me, a german, auf Malle, incredible

10. Name a book you acquired in some interesting way. i bought many a book in old antiqu...antiquarieties..... Antiquariat.... hmmm.... that might be the most exciting...... on flea markets....... hmm

11. Have you ever given away a book for a special reason to a special person? for birthdays? otherwise.... not really. i tend to hoard my books or get them from the bibliotheque

12. Which book has been with you to the most places? dont have such a book, i usually take the one im currently reading. maybe some Required Reading Book

13. Any “required reading” you hated in high school that wasn’t so bad ten years later? eeehhh............ i have not.......really reread anything from high school except for Kabale und Liebe. at school i didnt expect to read nice and interesting books bc its, i mean, its Goethe and Schiller, isnt it

14. What is the strangest item you’ve ever found in a book? a postcard from the time of the scnd world war (flea market book)

15. Used or brand new? both

16. Stephen King: Literary genius or opiate of the masses? my mother has so many books of his but i havent bothered reading one so far. dont care for horror and scary books too much

17. Have you ever seen a movie you liked better than the book? the Narnia books, couldnt read them. the movie was alright

also Tschick! the book was good and the movie was really lovely

18. Conversely, which book should NEVER have been introduced to celluloid? quite a few but i enjoy book adaptions, generally. theyre different etc but i usually dont mind the changes. i know a movie has to roll differently than a book, it doesnt have the time or space. anyway.....Avatar the Last Airbender movie was trash (not a book OG but ya feel)

19. Have you ever read a book that’s made you hungry, cookbooks being excluded from this question? hmmmm........ yeah? i love food. i love reading about food, i love seeing it on the screen. am always envy of the food

20. Who is the person whose book advice you’ll always take? my friends? as i think ive already said... we been trading back in high school and they and i usually read Fantasy and Urban Fantasy typa stuff

#tag #tags

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jonny-amethyst · 7 years ago

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@tarotprose month of spreads challenge days 20, 21 & 22

Day 20 Month of Spreads My Needs - 1. What do I need today? You know in an earlier spread challenge we were talking about Stalker cards? Well , I seemed to have acquired a cat ! - its been turning up with alarming regularity the last few days ! Cat ( knower of Secrets / The High Priestess ) Time within time within ... seek that which can't be found on the other side of nowhere , go deep but look without eyes , breathe in peace and love. Give the universe a hug then cuddle up in the corner of your own inner universe and get some rest !

2. How can I go about obtaining or satisfying that need? Scarab beetle ( 10 of Branches / Wands ) Utilise your calming breath meditation ... go within ... but with the eyes of an outsider , ask the universe to send you love and healing as you would ask for a friend or an animal friend... be friendly to yourself and receive the healing you need.

3. What can I do to maintain a healthy routine of listening to my needs from this moment forward? Ibis ( Nurturer of Feathers / Queen of Swords ) Trust your intuition , trust in yourself and in your compassion for others ... check on yourself from an outsider's point of view , send healing to yourself as you would to a friend or even a stranger in need... keep strong so you may offer more.

_______________ Day 21 Month of Spreads The Inner Child Conversation

Q: How are you, inner child? A: Peacock ( The Illuminator XVII / ) Beautiful , uplifted , filled with hope and aspiration for the future. Q: How do you manifest yourself in my present life? A: GOAT ( Shadow God of Liberation XV / ) Your unfounded fears and obsessions, past traumas holding you back , preying on you and filling your mind with stories of oppression and loss. Q: What is it that I need to know? A: RAT ( 4 of Fossils / Pentacles ) You have cleared a lot of your past possessions and let go of lots that doesn't serve you ... on the surface. Don't hoard toxic feelings and fears ... they spread disease and cause alarm. LET THEM GO ... the past has passed , the future is yet to be determined , gift yourself the present ... and make it the best present you could imagine. Q: How do you see me now that I am an adult? A: Sea Lion ( 7 of Shells / Cups ) You're an adult ? Really ? You're supposed to be by 45 years ... yet , you still daydream and fantasise , play , sing and have far too much fun to be an adult ! Anyway , I thought you were a Unicorn ? or is that just on your days off ? Q: Is there anything I need to let go of that I am still holding on to? A: Bear ( Guardian of Fossils / King of Pentacles ) No , hah ! You need to hold onto your spirit of adventure , and lose the fear that comes from listening to other peoples insecurities ... don't let doubt stop you from having fun and living a life of note. Q: What do you need from me? A: Nautilus ( Ace of Shells / Cups ) Trust your intuition , love yourself , have respect for yourself and all that you've achieved ... stay young at heart and enjoy life. Q: What final message do you have for me? A: Lynx ( 9 of Branches / Wands ) < The book definition covers this perfectly - > Receiving this card often signals one last push to finish something big. Don't give up. Gather inner resources to press through setbacks. You have the resolve and energy to succeed , even if it may not seem like it now.

< just a little side note ... the first 2 cards may seem contradictory , but in the context I understand them they really aren’t >

_______________ Day 22 Month of Spreads Gratitude With Attitude I never really thought about using the Tarot to work with gratitude before ... but then I never really thought about the different aspects of gratitude before either - so ... I'm grateful for finding this post which has helped open my eyes on the subject :) . I keep a wonderful little beach - find stone by my bedside and each night before bed I hold the stone and recount the things from my day I'm grateful for - some days it can be more difficult ( especially with the times I've had recently ) but every day I'm grateful for the roof over my head , my car , my horse , food in my belly , money in my pocket and bank etc etc ... and sometimes I add in the quirky like the little spirit that has just moved across the wall and past the curtain .., he seemed to shy to say hi properly but looked like a young child though just an outline :o @12.27 am when I wrote this ) anyway ... back to the reading :

1. What can I be grateful for in my life? Monkey ( 2 of Fossils / Pentacles ) Lifes choices ! You may be worried about making choices , and choosing the 'wrong' path ... but all paths are valid ... the choices you make cannot be wrong but they may lead you to a different outcome , and a different adventure. Be grateful that you are in a position to make such choices. 2. What in my life am I taking for granted? Ram ( Earth Father IV / The Emperor ) You always expect everything to work out the way you want ... when in reality things work out the way they work out ! What you want isn't necessarily what is best for you , but things will ultimately work out in your best interests. Don't take it for granted that you know what your best interests are ( at this time ) . 3. How can I bring more awareness and appreciation to the people and things in my life? Leopard ( Nurturer of Branches / Queen of Wands ) Have more faith in your abilities and intuition , do your best and always honour your intentions. 4. How can I be more grateful for the experiences and lessons I learn throughout my lifetime? Peacock ( The Illuminator XVII ) As above - live a life of honour and trust your intuition , look for the signs of help along the way and make the best use of your talents. 5. How can I easily implement more gratitude into my life today? Sea Lion ( 7 of Shells / Cups ) Live your life ... be grateful for what you have already achieved , imagine what you can achieve ... then go get it !

#monthofspreads #tarot challenge #tarotprose #tarot interpretation #tarot #day20 #day21 #day22

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swampgallows · 6 years ago

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i have an appt with my therapist again today in a few hours and i think this will be like her third strike. i feel increasingly uncomfortable talking to her even if she seems invested in my writing etc. it just feels like the same shit all over again. people taking what they want from me and treating me like a commodity, like a personal jester for their entertainment, and then not giving a shit about me or my feelings. she told me it’s okay to talk a lot and to complain but then tells me to stop complaining—”we’ve done that part”—and while i dont like complaining at that point i was just explaining my reasoning more than complaining.

i feel like she’s frustrated because i’m not making progress as quickly as she’d like and she thinks i have all this potential, and like, no shit. you’re frustrated after two months? try 28 fucking years. this has been the situation my entire life, this is what i’m in therapy for, this is why i’m suicidal. i’m sick to death of people saying all this shit about how i’m not doing enough, i’m not doing well enough, how i’m SO smart and SO this or that and treat me like i’m wasted potential all the time. i’m fucking sick of potential. and i get paralyzed about doing anything because when i do ANYTHING it’s never good enough, it’s always people telling me that i didnt try hard enough or that i didnt do my best or telling me how it could be better.

i busted my fucking ass off in school for nearly two decades, doing all the extra credit and being in advanced placement gifted magnet college prep what have you bullshit, at the top percentile of goddamn everything, and all of it amounted to nothing. all of it is inherently useless. i get to just live with the Good Feeling of doing a good job because it’s reflective of absolutely nothing. i have no life skills and no independence and zero confidence in myself doing anything. i have no faith in myself or reason to live. i dont have a reason to stick around and see anything through and the only reason i havent killed myself yet is because i’m afraid of death, but the only reason i havent committed myself to an institution is because of the backlash i would get from my parents and because of the hefty price tag on the asylum.

once i get out of the house i usually feel better, but it has been a challenge to get out of the house. it’s a challenge to get anything done IN the house unless it’s something that my parents directly are scrutinizing me for. like “oh she did the dishes! she’s not useless after all.” or “oh she actually was doing something on her computer, looks like she isn’t just sitting around playing games.” and they care about those things not for my welfare but for their own image. they dont want some loser neet child, and i guess i dont really want that either, but only because of the image, really. i’d like to be independent from my parents but i constantly feel like it’s not possible or feasible due to external factors. even when i was employed there was no way i was making enough money to pay rent anywhere. one coworker who didnt live w her parents lived with NINE other people and STILL paid 800 a month.

and even when i lived alone in my dorm away from my parents, i was still feeling completely useless and had no desire to do anything. i was completely disconnected from the world. raving was good at that time luckily but in terms of just...anything, i was talking to shitty people and meeting up with strangers who luckily didnt murder or rape me... just because. ironically i got hit by a car trying to meet up w a dude from school. i feel like i deserve to be punished and beaten constantly and i low-key do it to myself through denying myself anything. like sabotaging my life through passivity.

but it seemed like my therapist was more sympathetic before in her description of my “learned helplessness”, that it causes me fucking pain to try to do anything on my own. it’s not just nervousness or anxiety, it’s a paralyzing fear. because if i do anything it destroys my mom and then i have to live with that guilt and emotional fallout. i feel horrible that i don’t like my mom as a person, and i dont blame anyone else for also not liking her. i dont describe my mom as likable. i wish i could help my mom, but i can’t, and at the same time, i dont want to. she has sucked so much life out of me and she’s ruining my life but it also feels like i’ll be abandoning her if i go. it’s real fucking easy for my therapist to say “you’re not responsible for your parents” but theyve been responsible for me all this time. i didnt fucking ask to be born but i also feel like i’m literally the only thing keeping my mom from killing herself. i hate when she says “everyone would be better off without me” because to an extent it’s true. we’d be better off without her hoarding everything, we’d be better off not walking on eggshells constantly around her aggressive self-deprecation, we’d be better off without her bigotry (at least i would), we’d be better off without all the shit that makes me not want to help her. i dont want to resent my mom but i already have so much contempt for everything, and i’m so used to having these shackles on that i dont really know how to live without them.

when i went to target with nate i felt just..shocked and excited but also scared about the fact that i could buy literally anything i wanted at the store for snacks and my parents wouldnt know about it. i wouldnt have to explain to my mom where i “got these” or if i had more or justify how expensive they were or have fear her buying ten more bags of it because i liked it one time. i got to just purchase what i wanted and ate it right there and like thank god they didnt KNOW about it. they’ll see that i spent money at target but they dont know it was on fancy cookies and candy.

when i had a job i felt more independent because i was making money, and i’m still spending the money that i made, but they still fucking see everything i do unless it’s through paypal. i talked about opening a separate account but theres no way to get the money from that account to my new one without my parents noticing, obviously. it’s hard to take all of the steps that i can envision because i know they are painful. the only way my brother and sister have independence is because they’ve been completely emotionally numb or, more in my sister’s case, have been actively antagonistic toward my parents. my mom is now “afraid” of my sister, and nearly every time she comes over she’s screaming at my mom.

i dont know the true logistics of opening a new bank account but i guess if i get a new job i could start putting the money in that account. im only applying to costco so far because i have literally no idea of what jobs are out there or what i could do. but costco has good benefits and i really REALLY need my teeth fixed and i REALLY need new glasses. im still wearing the glasses that were in the accident and have a huge gouge out of the center of the right lens. im scared that ive already trained my brain to create a blind spot.

it helps to write this stuff out but it’s hard to find a solution. and maybe my therapist is also frustrated because she can’t find a solution either. but for me that’s just my fucking reality lmao. the only thing i can really think of is just throwing a dart on a map and sneaking away to some other fucking state or something. that’s really the only way my brother and sister made it out, too. but i dunno where i’d go or what i’d do, still, but at least then it would be more immediate and more on my terms. i’d basically just be throwing a dart somewhere. but then i’d really be alone.

#blathering

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