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catboybiologist · 9 months ago

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Holy fuck this got long.

@glorhatransgal asked about my "queer timeline", and I'm making a separate post for reblog control. Feel free to engage in the replies or my DMs, though! I'm a pretty open book, except some stuff I would rather leave to DMs.

The tl;Dr is that I think I knew from the time I started puberty, but I had a weird commitment to suppression and misery. I've only managed to tackle that feeling in the past year or so, and I still need to socially transition.

Long long thing under the cut with mental health CWs!!!!!

I'm pretty sure the first awareness I had of queerness was when California proposition 8 was a thing, in the 2008 election. I was ~10 or 11 at the time, and asked my mom what the big deal with letting two men marry was. She explained a bit, explained that "you'll like girls when you get older but you shouldn't judge what other people do" and then emphasized that I shouldn't really ever worry about dating or relationships ever because I should focus on school.

That was a HUGE underlying theme, not just from my parents, but from the area I grew up in overall. Very high academic pressure just kinda.... Oozed out of everywhere, without any one specific parent or teacher particularly overemphasizing it (with notable exceptions). This came up a lot, and made me feel stupid or vain for engaging in any other aspects of my personality, including queerness.

I remember having some semblance of trans thoughts back in Middle School, without ever learning what trans people are explicitly. None of the adults in my life wanted to discuss the subject, mostly brushing it off as "it's something other people do and you shouldn't judge them". Very little explicit hate, to be fair, which is good. But a lot of changing the subject. So to me, it felt like basic vanity- eg, a shallow desire to be "pretty" that everyone had, of course, that I just needed to get rid of to focus on academics.

And of course, on top of that, I was more tech literate than the average kid. So my head was stuffed with the.... Unique.... Perspective on queerness, particularly trans people, provided by the unrestricted wilderness of the 2009-2016 internet. Since no adult in my life would really address it, it gave me a lot of really bad perspectives on the whole thing.

I'm not quite sure when bisexuality entered the picture, but I called myself "straight with exceptions" from the ages of 14 to 21 at least. My earliest clear memory of being attracted to a man was when I saw Aragorn in LotR for the first time (can you blame me?). If you want to make fun of my little nerd ass more, my first distinct attraction to a woman was probably Padme's midriff outfit in Attack of the Clones. Again, since my head was stuffed with weird ideas of queerness, gayness was often portrayed as a disgust or lack of attraction to women. I didn't have that, so I couldn't be queer, right? "Straight with an asterisk" it was.

Dysphoria kinda crackled in the background and grew as I went through puberty. The way I've described it is that my "resting state" was never happy pre-HRT. I could easily make myself happy and distract from it, but I didn't "come home" to a good feeling. Not an overwhelming feeling, not a suicidal one, but just being miserable in the background if there wasn't something to make me happy.

So when I hit a wall with my mental health in high school, it ended very poorly. I was in mostly advanced programs until then, but couldn't keep up due to things I *now* realize were ADHD symptoms. I had ongoing physical health problems that meant orthopedic surgeries, multiple extended times on crutches, limping around a lot, and ongoing pain and lack of physical ability that most people couldn't see, making me feel hopeless about my body and future. Add in a nice little dysphoria bundle in the background of all of that…and yeah. That's the self harm and suicidal period of my life. I was very weird in high school, oscillating between AP classes and almost failing out. I was also really just... Nasty to a lot of people around me, as a shield for how miserable I was. So uh, if you knew me in high school and stumble across this somehow... I am truly sorry. But I made it through, mostly through the patience and good graces of friends and teachers.

Anyways. I'm on a tangent.

Undergrad wasn't that memorable for my queerness- I lived at home while attending a local state college, and dated one cis girl for about a year there. Years later she told me that she realized she's bi, so that was kinda validating. I dove a lot into a academics, research, and volunteering to distract myself, and was academically successful.

I was asked out by a gay guy at one point in undergrad. He was someone who I had talked about my uncertain sexuality with and helped me work towards calling myself bi. When he asked me out, I got a bad vibe, and told him I actually thought I was straight. He was later arrested for rape. So uh... Bullet dodged? After his arrest, I started openly calling myself bisexual, but didn't really do anything with it- no dating and no community. It was a long time coming by that point, and the experience made me realize that I didn't have to be attracted to *all* men to say I'm attracted to men. After all, I wasn't attracted to all women either.

I graduated from undergrad in 2020 and stayed at the same uni for my MS. And this is where we enter "how much do I say" territory. My MS was instrumental in figuring out my transness, but was also a fucked up ongoing situation that involves several other people's dirty laundry that I don't necessarily want to air. I can talk a bit more about this in DMs if I know you and trust you, I guess. Sorry OP. So uuuhhh... Let's just say that I was extremely miserable and living mostly alone, so in the Fall of 2020, I ordered my first skirt to try and alleviate that background misery. I called myself a femboy as a last ditch effort to “just be a feminine man”. It was a key part of figuring myself out, though, and I loved the online community I made that way. About a year afterwards, I was having a shit time, and started the CatboyBiologist account on reddit to distract myself from it. I worked more and more from home, and would dress up as a "femboy" as I did.

I graduated from my MS in 2022 in a miserable state, probably worse than I was even as a teen. But it made me realize three things: one, some kind of mental illness made it really easy for my life to derail, two, my dysphoria made it such that *when* my life derailed, I had nothing to be happy about, and three, my weird standards growing up gave me the subconscious sense that I HAVE to be miserable, otherwise I'm not "accomplished" or whatever.

That's kind of the theme of my queer experience. I always knew it was there, but I excused it as "stupid" or just ignored it because I thought everyone was supposed to be miserable by default.

When I entered my PhD, I made a promise to myself to get rid of my weird connection to misery, and actually work on the first two. I joined a grad student queer group and started therapy almost immediately. At first the focus of therapy was essentially immediate trauma support. Slowly, however, I was able to tackle the underlying issues in therapy. I also brought my "femboy" fits to events organized by that queer org, and social events with the friends I made there. I fully engaged in my bisexuality and had a hot girl summer last year, dating men, women, and enbies for the first time since my undergrad GF.

Oh, and btw. Being a feminine man gets you laid. I'm sorry, it's just how it is. Take notes, alpha males, and put on the fucking dress.

With that support, I finally started HRT in August of last year, at the age of 25. I'm still a mix of boymode and girlmode- I girlmode around queer friends, and boymode most of the time otherwise. I've also told several people that I'm transitioning, but just to treat me as a man for now and wait for me to come out more publicly. My plan is to take a hiatus from my PhD this summer, and use that to travel and socially transition. So that's my upcoming landmark experience.

Up until this past month or so, I was the happiest I've ever been. Some out of the blue bad things happened this January. But I realized something- for the first time ever, bad shit happened in my life, and I didn't derail. I was sad. I cried. I was frustrated. I yelled. I had dynamic emotions and handled it. That's never happened before.

Obviously it's always an ongoing process, and it's linked to so many details of my life that it's really hard to say things about “just my queer experience” but uh yeah. Idk if anyone read all that and I'm taking multiple passes to trim out details that got too personal, but fuckit I'm already extremely doxxable at this point.

#cw self harm #cw suicide #trans #transgender #bisexuality #bisexual

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bigskydreaming · 5 years ago

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Do you shipp bats and superman? Or bruce and selina or you don't ship bruce with anyone?

Tbh, I don’t have strong preferences on the matter of Bruce’s ships. Its not a matter of disliking them usually, so much as just not being super hardcore one way or another lol.

I would say probably my go-to is Bruce/Selina, just because I love Selina and there’s that opposites attract element to them that can be hard to make work, but when it works, ugh, it just WORKS, y’know?

I do ship Bruce and Clark for similar reasons, though this is actually more of a recent thing, honestly.....back before I first left DC fandom the first time around, probably around 2012-2013, I definitely would not have called myself a Superbat shipper at all, but that didn’t really have anything to do with not seeing their potential or not liking the characters together. It was more just a byproduct of like.....back then, I didn’t really like how Bruce and Clark tended to be written together?

Like, a lot of that was probably due to the tendency there sometimes is with slash ships to not really write just two male characters from some show or comic and put them in a relationship together, but rather to just kinda take two characters and write them in such a way that they feel like this kinda generic cookie cutter relationship that has more to do with going down a checklist of characteristics/specific moments/themes/etc than it does with who those characters are and what they’re like normally.

But for whatever reason, since I started getting back into DC fandom stuff last year, I’ve found a lot more Superbat fics that are a lot more to my liking, or that just FEEL more like Bruce and Clark in a relationship rather than coming across as two characters who have little in common with them and just happen to share the same names. I honestly have no idea what’s changed in the time since I was last in fandom til rejoining it, at least in regards to this specific ship and how its written, or just as equally likely, something changed about my perspective between then and now that made me read it differently or be more open to it than I was in the past. *Shrugs* Who knows. So again, its like Bruce/Selina, I’m not opposed to it at all, have enjoyed several, but I just don’t tend to ship Bruce the same way or to the degree I have ships I’m more invested in, for most of his kids.

My one big caveat with Bruce and Clark is that like, its GOT to be respectful of Lois, she still should have a presence in Clark’s life and not have been just...erased or overlooked or killed off or just sacrificed on the altar of Superbat to make room for them to get together, y’know? Like I don’t have a particular preference here, like, they could have previously discovered they just prefer being platonic soulmates and just have a super strong friendship that’s not threatened or replaced or lessened by what Clark comes to have with Bruce later, they could have previously been married and are amicably divorced now for whatever reason and still successfully co-parent Jon now, who splits his time between living with his Dad and Bruce and step-siblings at Wayne Manor, and then the rest of his time with his mom and her new girlfriend or wife Diana, perhaps...whatever. Not picky on the particulars, I just need Lois to still be important to Clark rather than treated as though an obstacle in the way of Superbat’s true love.

As far as other ships go......I never got on board with Bruce/Diana even though they do at times have great chemistry.....I’ve just never seen that really successfully resulting in an actual relationship....unless Clark is involved as kinda a...not buffer, exactly, so much as a third complemetary piece needed to complete the picture. Same thing with Clark and Diana too, though, their brief New 52 relationship not working for me for the same reasons. The full Trinity together in every sense of the word? I can dig it. Just two of them though....Clark and Bruce is the only pairing out of the three of them that actually fits on its own, IMO, because something about Clark and Diana has always just felt a little too....forced, or artificial to me for some reason, like.....people always try too hard to emphasize how good a pairing they make on paper, that it just never FEELS natural or organic in execution, and I’ve never really felt any interest in trying to execute a version of it myself to have any idea how my own attempt would fare. *Shrugs*

And then Bruce and Diana on their own, like.....I think Diana respects the hell out of Bruce and will always have a soft spot for him, but her bullshit tolerance does come with a ceiling, and I think for Diana, Bruce is one of those people where she does better with him in small doses, lol. Too much exposure to Bruce, too constantly, and for too longterm.....I think she would end up being like “this relationship is starting to feel too much like a Greek tragedy, and not even one of the good ones, I gotta go, bye” lololol okay so it wouldn’t really be like that. I just mean.....Bruce thrives off of structure and rigid discipline in a way that Diana would find stifling, I believe?

Don’t get me wrong, Diana is incredibly disciplined herself and capable of holding herself firm and steady in anything with a kind of discipline few others could ever dream of, but its not her PREFERENCE, I don’t think. She’d rather default to a freer approach to and through life, whereas Bruce can do that at times to accommodate loved ones needing or wanting that from him too, but at the end of the day, I think he’s always going to rather scheduling in some time set aside for the both of them, as something to look forward to....rather than just letting it come when it comes and then when it does, obsessing over whether he’s neglecting something else as a result.

So again...Bruce and Clark I think work, but Bruce and Diana or Clark and Diana - require all three working in harmony to be what all three of them actually need and want from that triad.

And then Bruce and Talia I’ve talked about a couple times before in depth, and I have hugely complicated thoughts on them due to the sheer bullshit writers have subjected Talia to over the years. I try to ignore Morrison’s take on Damian’s conception as much as possible, like, I never go with that angle or that particular taint on their relationship unless for whatever reason its absolutely relevant to the plot - and I’ve never come up with a plot where it is, nor do I think I’m likely to. And this is for a couple of reasons - the first is that while I’m always saying that any writer could make a case for any character doing anything, conceivably, Damian’s conception as written by Morrison just...destroys so much of the amazingly complex and multi-faceted character Talia often was before he wrote that, and recasts every aspect of her and Bruce’s previous love story as just...a painful, not funny joke. Its not remotely something I ever want to read into those two, even if I’ve never shipped them as endgame myself.

But at the same time, because it did so unequivocally happen in canon, I can never really blame others for accepting it as the reality of their relationship by this point, for whatever reason.....I mean, there’s the simple fact that something like that is so hugely personal to read about and see yourself in as a survivor, for instance, for any survivors who read Morrison’s story and afterward had trouble separating that view of Talia from previous stories of her....like to me, no matter how much I think Morrison is bullshit for writing that story, especially since its hardly like he had any interest in writing or acknowledging Bruce as a survivor in its aftermath.....I fully believe Morrison was like “how can I make Bruce a biological father who owes nothing to the mother and has no obligation to share the child with her or fight over custody or anything like that.”

Which is a shitty reason to do that particular kind of story. And why I don’t blame anyone for disregarding it, as I try to whenever possible, but neither do I blame anyone for finding their relationship kinda ruined in the wake of it, just because sometimes its physically/emotionally just hard to see PAST that kind of thing, even when you know the reasons for it existing at all are threadbare in the first place.

(Its like how I do write and focus on Bruce’s abusive behavior with some of his kids in the past, not because I necessarily LIKE to, so much as it just being such a personal topic to me that from the second it was written into his character and dynamics, whether written WELL or PLAUSIBLY or not, it just became impossible for me to pretend it just never happened or I never read any of those stories, so I have to find some way to tackle it in my stories and takes. But because I do think that the reasons for writing Bruce act that way in the first place were always poorly thought through, and it is a disservice to a lot of the reasons others love the character, I don’t blame them for disliking it and disregarding it themselves, so long as they don’t shit on me or my reasons for not doing the same).

So yeah, I don’t tend to write that particular element into Bruce and Talia’s story ever, for all those above reasons and also one other specific one: it doesn’t just make Talia a rapist and Bruce a survivor, it makes Damian the child of rape. And he’s just had so much shit to deal with in his life with everything else alone, I never am comfortable heaping that onto him as well, because sooner or later it WOULD eventually become something he had to deal with, and no easy thing to deal with, so I’m just like....what if he didn’t have that particular issue to deal with ever.

NOW, all that said....Bruce and Talia still even without that have never really been an endgame ship for me, but rather something that’s kinda always been doomed to be a tragic romance, like they’re each other’s one that forever got away. And that’s because for me, unlike Bruce and Selina being opposite in just the right ways, Bruce and Talia are alike in the wrong ways. Its part of WHY they have the connection they do, and such a deep one....they GET each other, in ways I don’t think anyone else has ever truly understood them. They might not subscribe to the same beliefs, even have the same morals, they might not be willing to use the same methods, their ultimate goals aren’t necessarily the same....but their PASSION for their goals, their beliefs, their commitment to doing whatever each believes they have to do in order to see their goals fulfilled, to see that they never stray from what they believe is their duty, their reasons for existing....THAT is something I think they’ve both always understood about each other, that they have in common. Both believe too strongly in what THEY believe and value as most important, to be truly willing to give that up and follow the other to their goal or along their path instead.....and they get that, so they never truly ask that of each other, or at least aren’t surprised nor hold it against the other when they turn them down. I think they do love each other, and on some level always will.....and it might not even be that they don’t WANT to give everything else up to be with them.....its just, I don’t think either truly knows how to do that and still be them, like they know that even were they to make that choice, it would cost them too much of what makes them THEM, to ever truly do it.

And aside from that, even in an AU setting where Talia didn’t raise Damian in the League, where he wasn’t forced to grow up fighting the way he did, and say she spirited him away and into hiding at birth to hide him from Ra’s, but still never sought Bruce out til Damian was ten or so, even if only because Bruce is too easy for Ra’s to find or keep an eye on....basically, I just mean even in an AU where Talia was a great mom to Damian from Day One til the day Bruce met Damian, and she only kept him from Bruce for ten years or whatever for Damian’s safety....I think that would still destroy any chance of Bruce and Talia ever being together after that, just because in that kind of scenario, Bruce might absolutely understand why she did what she did, even agree with it....and still not be able to get PAST it, not to the degree of....trusting her with his heart again, even if they were perfectly able to coexist well for Damian’s sake. Bruce missed out on the first parts of all his other childrens’ lives because they were someone else’s first. The fact that Damian is the one and only kid of his that theoretically, there was nothing keeping Bruce from being a part of that from day one....like this is the one and only way I will ever accept Bruce having a distinct view of Damian as being different from his other kids in his eyes....its not about him being Bruce’s biological son, its about him being Bruce’s son that he never had to be second to come into his life, that there was nothing stopping him from being there from the start....the fact that Talia, for any reason, did keep him from that, even were it with the best intentions, IMO....that would be something that might not even be Bruce’s to ‘forgive’ per se, like that’s not even the right word to describe certain scenarios that might result in that.....but it would still just irrevocably change something between them I don’t think they could ever get back.

So except for AUs where Talia brought Damian to Bruce right after he was born and stayed with him to raise Damian together, I don’t see them ever working out longterm.....and I don’t really see Talia ever giving up her own beliefs as to how to live her life, shape the world, wield her influence....just to live in Bristol with Bruce and raise Damian with him, even as there is nothing really in that case keeping Bruce from still at the same time continuing to be Batman and do all of that the way HE prioritizes. But again, by the same token.....I also don’t see the inverse ever happening, where Talia finds a way to go where she needs to and do what she believes needs doing, with Damian in tow....and Bruce willing to give up being Batman to just come along for the ride and to help raise Damian. So yeah, ultimately, for me those two are the ultimate tragic romance of Bruce’s core ships, where love has nothing to do with whether or not they work out....just rather who and what they are getting in the way of what they are too each other.

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animakupo · 7 years ago

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In the Eye of the Beholder (Prompto x Reader)

hey waddup it me, was supposed to post this yesterday but a lot of family stuff happened this weekend that i hadta prioritize

This one’s a little special to me because I’m a photography enthusiast myself who Doesn’t Think They’re Good Enough™ so I really wanted to do something that was a little photography-themed.

Originally, this sat at about 2.4k words, but I bumped it up to around 3k because the development between Rea and Prom felt a bit lacking to me.

ANYWAY I LOVE PROMPTO ALWAYS!!!!! TIME 2 WORK ON THOSE REQUESTS NOW!!!!!

word count: 3.1k, NOTHING BUT FLUFF FOR MY PRESIDENT PROMPTO

There was something so therapeutic about the sound of the camera shutter. What wasn’t so therapeutic, however, was how none of your photos were turning out the way you wanted them to. You had spent all afternoon going from top to bottom around Galdin Quay, and still, the photos you had captured all left an unsatisfactory taste in your mouth.

You heaved a sigh as the beginnings of nighttime began to trickle into the sky’s orange hues. Another day, another struggle to capture any winner material.

The thought of the impending time limit that was looming over your shoulder just made your stomach queasy with unease. ‘If I don’t get anything good soon, then that Prompto’s going to take First Place again.’

The Galdin Quay Snapshot Contest was something that was commemorated at the Mother of Pearl every few months or so. It had taken you a full year to even work up the courage and send in an entry, as showcasing your work to the general public seemed more daunting to you than having to tackle a Catoblepas.

Not that you were even capable of facing off against a Catoblepas.

On your first attempt at the contest, you hadn’t even made the cut. It was incredibly discouraging for you, this being your first photography contest and all, but your friends and family urged you to persevere. And so, you gave in to their support.

Your second attempt proved to be more fruitful, as you at least managed to garner an honorable mention. From there, your placings in the Galdin Quay Snapshot Contest ranged from Second Runner-up to Crowd Favorite. The highest accolade you had ever reached was Second Place.

The coveted First Place had always eluded you, though.

You had thought that, in your most recent attempt at the photo contest, you were going to bag First Place for sure — except a newcomer dashed all your hopes with their very first appearance in the contest.

You didn’t know who he was, but the name Prompto Argentum has haunted you since he first swiped sweet victory from your hands.

Although you were slightly (okay, very) bitter about remaining in Second Place yet again, you couldn’t deny that this Prompto person really had an eye for pleasing aesthetics. With “Anything Under the Sun” being the previous theme for the contest, he had managed to perfectly capture the shadows cast by palm trees over a sleeping canine that lounged amongst the sands.

While you didn’t admit it out loud, his picture had definitely blown your generic sunset picture out of the water.

“Hey there, (Name)!” greeted Coctura once you reached her little station in the middle of the Mother of Pearl. “Got any good shots today?”

You slumped over the bar surface defeatedly. “Not at all. I’m never going to win First Place at this rate, Coctura.” You peeked up at her from your crumpled form. “Not with that Prompto always getting the spotlight.”

Coctura gave you a sympathetic smile as she plated another dish for one of her patrons. “There, there, (Name). I’m sure you’ll come up with something genius eventually! Your photos are really good!”

“But not good enough!”

“You still have a couple of months to go until the next deadline,” she reminded you. “Plus, Prompto might not even join this time.”

“What makes you say that?”

She shrugged, though the glint in her eye suggested that she knew a bit more than she let on. “He’s not in the area very often. For all you know, he might even miss the deadline altogether!”

“I sure hope that’ll be the case,” you grumbled sourly. “That guy is really good, so I don’t stand a chance if he’s in the running.”

“You do too have a chance! Don’t lose hope, (Name).”

‘Yeah, don’t lose hope that maybe Prompto won’t join the contest this time around.’

Unfortunately for you, your hopes were dashed with the appearance of four young men at Coctura’s station the very next day.

You hovered a bit behind them, not wanting to intrude on their conversation with the chef. Your smoothie could wait until they were done, and in the meantime, you could-

“(Name)! There you are!” Coctura called, gesturing for you with a wave of her hand.

The four men turned to you, causing you to wilt under their gaze. ‘Really, Coctura? You couldn’t have used a more indoor voice?’ You kept your head down as you approached her, not wanting to attract any more attention from the strangers around you.

“Good morning,” you greeted quietly, still fidgeting a bit at the questioning looks sent in your direction.

“This is the girl I was telling you about, Prompto,” she said, turning to the blond who was incidentally right next to you.

Your heart thundered against your chest at the mention of his name. Prompto? The Prompto Argentum?

“So this is the famous (Name) (Surname) we’ve been hearing about,” commented the biggest one of the group. You glanced at him, your interest piqued at the sight of the tattoos peeking from his sleeves.

“I-I’m not famous-“

“You are in our circles,” said the one with dark hair. He gave a smirk to his blond friend. “Prompto here never stops talking about you.”

“N-Noct!” Prompto exclaimed, reaching out to whack his friend on the head.

You turned to Prompto then, finally getting a good look at your unofficial rival in photography. He was looking pretty flustered thanks to the light teasing from his comrades. The redness of his cheeks only made the freckles scattered across his face all the more prominent, and the vibrancy of his eyes were a striking contrast to his blond hair. Which, come to think of it, reminded you of a-

“Chocobo,” you blurted, eyes still trained on Prompto’s hair. “You look like a Chocobo.”

This brought about a round of laughs from everyone — even the stiff-looking one with glasses. It was only when Prompto began sputtering about how his hair “does not look like a Chocobo butt!” did you realize what you had just said.

“I’m sorry!” you shrieked as the embarrassment of your actions began to settle in. “I didn’t mean that in a bad way! I just- You-“

“Don’t worry about it.” The dark-haired one — ‘Noct,’ you presumed — placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “We all secretly think Prompto’s half-Chocobo anyway.”

Prompto grew exasperated. “Noct?!”

The tall, bespectacled one nodded. “I’m surprised our feathered friends at Wiz’s have yet to stake their claim on our dear Prompto.”

“Not you too, Iggy!”

The tattooed beefcake dropped his voice as he stepped closer to you and added, “Between you and me, I think I’ve even seen the kid lay an egg our two at camp.”

“GLADIO!”

You couldn’t help it. The bantering amongst the friends burst open the bubble of giggles that had been building up in your throat. Once your laughter died down, everyone was looking at you with matching grins. Their attention made you blush, but it was the way Prompto was looking at you so earnestly that made you keep your gaze on the floor.

It was a few seconds of awkward silence before Prompto cleared his throat. “U-Um!” he squeaked, extending a gloved hand for you to shake. “I’m Prompto. I’m a big fan of your pictures!”

All form of decorum was thrown out the window at his declaration. Your mother had always stressed how rude it was to stare at people so blatantly, but that was exactly what you did with Prompto.

Your gaze went back and forth between his hand — which was still waiting for a shake of reciprocation — and his smiling face, which slowly began to waver the longer you gaped at him. The way your mouth fell open probably made you look incredibly crass, but that wasn’t even registering in your mind at the moment.

What was registering was the fact that Prompto — Prompto Argentum, the one who pretty much bested you at photography — was actually a fan of your work?

“Are… are you kidding me right now?!” you blubbered, still confused as to how to digest this seemingly major revelation.

“N-No…?” Prompto faltered at your reaction as the crimson hue on his cheeks intensified. “Am I… not allowed to like them…?”

“No! I mean, you are! I mean-!” You internally groaned at how poorly you were taking this. “Sorry, I just… I find it a little hard to believe that you like any of my photos.”

“What-”

Prompto was interrupted by Coctura’s chipper voice. “You best believe Prompto here is a fan of your photography, (Name)! He always tells me how your entries should’ve been at the top whenever results for the Snapshot Contest would roll in.”

“Coctura!” Prompto whined, the redness on his face spreading to the tips of his ears now. “Why is everybody dead set on exposing me today?”

“Well then.” The one with glasses — ‘Iggy,’ was it? — cleared his throat as he pushed his glasses against his face. “I believe these two shutterbugs would like to discuss their photography endeavors together.” He turned to his other two companions, Noct and the one referred to as Gladio. “Do either of you fancy a fishing session?”

“You know I do,” Noct answered, already leading the way towards the fishing area.

“Have fun, kid.” Gladio playfully slapped Prompto on the back and gave him a wink. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“But there’s nothing you wouldn’t do...” you heard Prompto mutter under his breath.

Once the three disappeared, Coctura turned away as she entertained another patron at the restaurant. This left you and Prompto to your own devices.

Feeling a little shy all of a sudden, you began to shuffle restlessly, playing with a stray thread on your shirt. You stole glances at Prompto, taking in his entire appearance. His freckles were undeniably an endearing feature of his, and though his body was lanky, you definitely appreciated how toned his arms seemed to be.

You had never imagined that Prompto Argentum would be such a cutie in the flesh.

“So…” you trailed off, unsure about how to really act around him. “You take pictures too, huh?”

This appeared to be the correct choice of words, as Prompto immediately brightened at the mention of photography. “Yeah! I’m no professional like you are, but it’s something I really enjoy.”

You eyed him quizzically. “Professional? Oh, no, you’re mistaken. I’m no pro at all.”

“You’re not?”

“Nope.”

“Wooow~” He whistled lowly, eyes seemingly sparkling in admiration for you. It made you fluster. “With how amazing your shots always are, I had always thought that you were a pro! Actually…” His smile turned bashful as he rubbed at the back of his neck. “You were the one who inspired me to join the Galdin Quay Snapshot Contest to begin with.”

“Me?” You had to stop yourself from scoffing at the very suggestion that you had inspired anyone — let alone a skillful photographer like Prompto — to join the photo contest. Sure, you were good enough to place in the festivities, but to actually be the very reason why someone else had joined? That was definitely hard to comprehend.

“Uh-huh,” he affirmed. “I’ve always wondered why the judges still haven’t given you First Place. Your pictures are amazing!”

You were unused to such praise, especially coming from a fellow enthusiast — one who had bested you in the field, even. “Th-thanks.”

“I was really shocked when they gave me First Place during the last round, to be honest. If anything, you definitely deserved the top spot more than any of us.”

“No way!” you denied vehemently. Even if Prompto stirred some bitter feelings and self-doubt in your craft, his photography — at least from what you had seen from his last entry in the contest — was definitely top notch and in a league of its own. “I mean, I wanted to win and all, but the judges were definitely right in giving you First Place.”

“Y’think so?”

You nodded. “I know so.” Your lips lifted into a small smile as you finally offered your own hand to him. “I’m (Name).”

“(Name),” Prompto repeated, shaking your hand in a firm grip. “It’s nice to finally meet you!”

“Likewise.” His friendly demeanor and happy-go-lucky nature was contagious. You couldn’t help but smile around him. “So what camera do you use?”

Prompto whipped out the device in question. “I use a Lokton X-T20.”

“Ooh, I see you’ve got good taste.” You pulled out your own camera and presented it to your new acquaintance. “I’ve been eyeing the X-T20 for a while now, but my A-1 still hasn’t let me down yet, so I haven’t really bothered replacing it.”

“See, you’re even more amazing than I thought!”

Man, he really didn’t hold back on the compliments, huh? “What do you mean?”

“It’s not the camera that makes the photographer,” Prompto explained. “The fact that you can take such beautiful pictures without the most top of the line equipment just shows how skilled you are!”

“Gee, I never really thought of it that way,” your murmured timidly, feeling your heart swell with appreciation for Prompto. “Thanks.”

“My pleasure.” You were certain that not even the sun could rival how bright Prompto’s smile was. “Anyway, I was hoping I could ask you how you managed to take that shot with the waves from that one entry of yours.”

You paused, trying to recall what he was referring to. “Oh, you mean the one at nighttime with the Mother of Pearl’s lights in the background?”

“That’s the one!” His eyes widened in excitement. “Will you teach me how you took it?”

Prompto’s eagerness to simply learn and improve on his skills melted away the icy blockade of bitterness you initially held towards him. “Sure. I can show you how I did it tonight, if you’d like?”

His enthusiasm reminded you of an energetic puppy being reunited with its human. “Would you really?”

“Of course.”

The two of you made arrangements to meet up later in the evening, with the promise of a hearty meal before your photography session. Unbeknownst to you, this would become the first of many picture-taking sessions with Prompto, who would not only garner your friendship, he would also — albeit unknowingly — capture your affections as your relationship developed.

Though you didn’t get to see Prompto all that often — as he traveled around with his friends a lot — whenever he did drop by Galdin Quay, he always made it a point to hang out with you without fail. Being his only other photographer friend, Prompto was always adamant that the two of you take pictures and share critique whenever you were together.

Of course, being such avid fans of each other, neither of you really managed to offer anything substantial other than gushes of praise and mutual squealing. Still, it was something.

Your time spent together was not limited to photography excursions, either. Sometimes, Prompto would shoot you a text whenever he was in the area simply to catch dinner together. In other instances, it was to take a stroll on the beach. Such activities were blatantly romantic in nature, but neither of you really discussed such a possibility in your friendship, too comfortable with what you already had between the two of you.

What you didn’t know was that Prompto’s friends would always egg him on whenever they dropped by Galdin Quay. They at least spared him once you were within earshot, but they were pretty much relentless during their car rides together.

On your end, there was Coctura who continued to push you in order to ask Prompto out. Despite her attempts, you were simply much too shy and insecure to even entertain the idea of exploring anything that wasn’t platonic with Prompto.

That wasn’t to say that you didn’t like the idea, because you did. You definitely, definitely did.

“This is so nice, Prom!” you raved at yet another one of his spectacular shots. Scrolling to the next picture on his camera, you cheered excitedly and pointed towards the device’s screen. “I love this one!”

“Me too!” he responded just as happily, that sunny smile of his shining even brighter at your compliments. “It’s one of my faves.”

The two of you were lazing by the shores of Galdin Quay, the soft setting sun acting as your backdrop. Maybe it was the photographer in you, but you couldn’t help but become enamoured by how gorgeous Prompto looked with the hazy lightning of the sunset surrounding him.

“You know,” you said, turning away from him to gaze at the glowing waters with the gentlest of smiles, “you’re really beautiful.”

The only response you got was the familiar noise of a camera shutter. The sound broke you out of your reverie, prompting you to turn your head towards your companion and look at him questioningly.

Prompto lowered the the camera from his face and peered sheepishly at you. “Sorry, I just had to. The lighting was perfect.”

You huffed. “You know I hate getting my picture taken, Prom. That’s why I’m always behind the camera.”

“You should be in front of the lens more often, though.” Everything about Prompto at that moment was so soft. His voice was quiet, his eyes were gentle, and his smile was so, so tender.

It was as if he was falling in love with you right then and there.

You couldn’t help but blush under his sweet gaze. “Yeah, well… so do you.”

The rhythm of the waves kissing the shore was brought to the fore as your conversation faded away. The silence was comforting and warm as the growing feelings you held for one another simmered under the protection of your respective secrecies.

The sunset had dwindled into dusk when Prompto broke through the quiet. “You’re… you’re really pretty too, (Name).” He wasn’t looking at you then, but had your eyes met, you would have found infatuation and fondness in his eyes.

The two of you admired the remnants of sundown, though you huddled together just a little bit closer, your pinkies linked together in the sand.

When the results for the next round of Galdin Quay’s photo contest came in, you couldn’t find it in yourself to be even remotely bothered by the fact that you placed second next to Prompto yet again.

Especially not when his winning entry was a candid photo of you from that time you basked in each other’s presence at twilight.

Galdin Quay Snapshot Contest - Round 15

1st Place: PROMPTO ARGENTUM

Theme: The Most Beautiful Treasure in Eos

*Special Message: “Will you be mine, (Name)?”

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theabominableblogger · 6 years ago

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Rewatching “Family Reunion- And Farewell”

Well... guess who totally forgot to finish this post and upload it? And I watched this back in June...

Huge special thank you to @dynamicdiplomacy for introducing me to this absolutely wonderful show and for all the times that we’ve Skyped to watch Season 4 (and the palette cleansers that followed after some depressing stuff). And thank you to everyone else for all the wonderful comments I’ve been receiving about this reaction series and I hope you have been enjoying my reactions.

If you guys have any more recommendations for shows for me to react to, don’t be afraid to message me or drop something in my inbox!

Now, on with the show...

*points at the screen when Hera puts her hand on her stomach*

“I [Ezra] guess, in some way, you will be with us today, when we finish what you started.” At first, when I first saw this, I was afraid that Ezra was gonna go a little bit in the Kylo Ren direction in this little speech toward the hologram of his parents, but we all know at this point, Ezra speaks so highly and lovingly of his parents, so here it’s a nice sweet moment before everything just goes to crap.

“The day I [Kallus] betrayed your Empire, Governor, was the day I finally stopped betraying myself.” YEET!

*giggles when Ezra sics the wolf on Pryce with a whistle*

*scats the opening theme*

Oh my God, that’s the last time we’re ever gonna hear that!

“I [Ezra] know I can always count on you [Sabine].” That was part of one of Kanan’s visions in “Jedi Night!”

*Zeb leaps over the stormtroopers* Parkour!

*imitates Hondo as he instructs the pig dude to back up*

“They can fly!” HAhaha!

So what was the point of all that [Zeb throwing the pig dude]? Just as a distraction?

*Rukh throws Wolffe over his shoulder* Whooo…

*The wolf rams into Rukh’s ship* Oh my Godd!

“I [Thrawn] expected Governor Pryce to fail, but not so completely.” Whooooooooo damn!

My friend: The shade has been thrown!

Me: You mean the shade has been Thrawn…

*bows out*

*spends a good minute complimenting Kallus in black*

THAT SOUNDS NOTHING LIKE YULAREN!

“And do you always question the orders of a superior officer?” Oooooooh snap!

That walker’s like “Hoo shit, I’m gettin’ out of here!”

Freaking Rukh!

*Thrawn’s Star Destroyer comes in* Ohh snap

“Are you [Ezra] quite finished?” OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*Rukh shuts off the planetary shields* Mother-fricking…

*Thrawn starts firing on the city* God. Dang it.

That shot though!

*gasps when Ezra gives Chopper his lightsaber*

“I [Hera] won’t let you [Ezra] go!” *softly* God, this is just sad…

“Even if we do blow him out of the sky…” *both yell at the top of our voices* Blow that piece of junk OUT OF THE SKY!

*sighs when Ezra escapes to surrender to Thrawn*

This music though! And it’s incorporating Sabine’s theme!

Oooh that shot though [of Thrawn at his desk]

“Hmm, the Jedi once numbered in the thousands. What's left are a scattered, frightened lot, mostly beaten and in hiding, or poorly trained children, like yourself [Ezra].” *grimaces*

What’s that green thing next to Sabine’s mural?

“[Thrawn] You think you can take whatever you want, things you didn't make, didn't earn, things you don't even understand! You don't deserve to have this art or Lothal.” THAT’S MY BOY!

God, Thrawn just has so many pens!

“My Emperor.” Shiiiiiiittt….

“My dear boy, I've [Palpatine] so wanted to meet you [Ezra], and here you are at last.” Oh my gosh, it’s been like what? 10 years since we’ve heard Ian McDiarmid’s Senator Palpatine voice? Holy crap.

Oh yeah, those dark wolves look really cool.

Aaaaahhhh that shot’s cool!

“Who are we supposed to be contacting?” “Not sure it's a who, more like a what, and if I told you what, well, that's the part you might not believe.” So Ezra told Mart about the space whales. Imagine that conversation going on.

“Just look at Melch. He's positively magnetic!” “I'm sure you've got a special relationship, Hondo, but we're kind of on a mission here.” Pffttt….

It is so disarming seeing Palpatine in white

God, I so miss having Ian McDiarmind as Palpatine!

Oh my gosh, this music here [when Ezra goes in the temple] is awesome! It sounds like something from “Return of the Jedi,” with the flutes and the soft trumpets.

My friend: Kallus reminds me of Phoebus from Hunchback.

Me: HE DOES!

My friend: That’s all I can think about now!

Pffttt… I love how in this show, they’re like “Well, Chopper’s been fried. We can fix that” while in ROTJ, when R2 gets fried, they’re all like “OH MY GOD!”

That is the slowest-ass platform…

*Pig dude gets shot* OOOOOOHHHHHH!!

My friend: Meek’s dead!

*Zeb leaps down to tackle Rukh off the walkways* AAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!

*Gregor gets shot* OOOOOHHHHHHH!!!

OK, having just watched Gregor’s first episode in TCW, this scene here is now immensely sad.

If Ezra ends up coming back in Star Wars Resistance, and he ends up looking like his dad, I’m gonna cry.

*Palpatine’s hologram flickers* Whoa…. But how though? Unless it’s some Sith alchemy crap.

Lobster boys!

What are those?!?

AN: Force pikes

*Ezra throws the boulders at the incoming squadron* Oh that was awesome

C’mon, Zeb!

*Rukh dies* Oooooooohhhhh…

“Oh really? Yeah, that must be tough!” Hahaha!

*Gregor dies* God, this is immensely sad!

Did Ezra just murder all those troopers in the background?!?

“Get Captain Palleon!” Hoooooo…

And then- WHALES!

*One of the whales ram into a Destroyer* Oh my God, how big are those things?!?

“Whatever happens next happens to both of us.” *softly* Hooooo….

OH THAT SHOT!

OH THAT MUSIC!

My friend: how do the purgill know what to do?

Me: Plot.

*sing songs* It’s the Bendu’s prophecy!

And after all of that… they’re [Ezra and Thrawn] still alive.

AN: Yep. Confirmed by Filoni himself. They’re still floating around God knows where.

Uhh…

“Ummm, was that the plan?” Pffftt…

“We gonna blow this place!” *starts singing “We Gotta Get Out of This Place” by The Animals*

*Wolffe shoots down all the troopers* Ohh my God!

“For Kanan and Ezra.” Yes!

*Pryce dies* Bye, bitch!

Oh my gosh, this music here [during Ezra’s last message]…

“Right, you’re [Ezra] counting on me [Sabine]… for what?” Bring him home!

My friend: Cue Les Mis.

Me: Don’t

“Then if the Empire wants a fight, we'll be ready for them.” So does the rest of the Rebellion know that they’re still on Lothal?

Oh crap, the epilogue! Oh, I’m not ready!

That does look like the [Dryden Vos’s] ship from Solo!

Loth-cat!

She [Sabine] cut her hair to look like Ezra’s…

I love this [Zeb taking Kallus to Lira San]!

*smiles immensely during the introduction of Jacen*

“Born to fly, just like his mother. And, well, we all know what his father was like.” Aaaahhh my gosh!

I remember back when this air, half of us were like “THEY BEEN DOING IT THE ENTIRE TIME” and half of us were like “WHEN DID THEY BANG?!?” And while that is a good question concerning the timeline, at the same time, it’s like talking about whether or not your parents do it.

And also, we don’t wanna talk about our parents having sex. Like.... no....

*gasps when Ahsoka appears*

Ahsoka the White!

And the credits are like real credits!

[Dave Filoni as Chopper] I KNEW IT!!!!

*jams the crap out when the Rebels theme starts to kick in*

GOD I MISS THIS SHOW ALREADY

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