#'is this a self obsession thing? you only like guys who you can see yourself in?' like LOL YEAH ACTUALLY transmasc lesbian swag

[mainfaggot]

one of the most random compliments i have received in my life was back in junior year when my close friend at the time said that i resembled song weilong if "he was a desi girl" 😭😭😭😭

[quitefawnish]

just thinking about reader having an nsft tumblr acct and tf 141 being obsessed with it..

cw: sexual content, slight voyeurism?

soap is the first one to stumble on your tumblr account. he originally got tumblr because he wanted inspiration for meal planning and thought about making his own fitness blog.

of course, he eventually went down the rabbit hole of hornyposting and after a few weeks, he discovered you.

you had started this blog to feel better about yourself, or at least that’s what you told yourself, maybe you just liked the attention. either way, you started off slow, posting in a sheer shirt or just a bra but not wanting to show off too much.

it only took a bit of prodding and pleading from your followers to get you to post your whole body. that’s where johnny first saw you, in a post where you did a full body reveal (sans face for obvious reasons). it had a few thousand notes and was the top picture for some of the tags you used.

soap practically felt his eyes bulge out of his skull at the sight of you, this perfect lass posting pics like that for free??? he was quick to follow you and then look at the rest of your posts, spamming you with likes as he went through your entire blog.

he contemplated keeping you to himself but knew the others would appreciate you just as much as he did, so he saved the original post he saw of you and sent it in the group chat. their messages were immediate, something to the effect of “holy fuck.”

that’s where the obsession with you started, and soap acted as their drug dealer, sharing in the group chat when you posted a new photo. of course, the other three knew that they could coax your username from johnny and they could make their own tumblr account to follow you but they found it more exciting getting your pics this way. one thing he did share with them was your throne wishlist which was full of lingerie and cute clothes you might want.

you had posted in sets you had gotten from other followers and the guys were interested in how they could buy you things too. your eyebrows practically disappeared into your hairline as you checked your phone and saw that your entire wishlist had been bought out. even the stuff that you put on there as a faraway desire, like the pair of mary jane’s you had been eyeing or the marker set that was too expensive to justify buying with your own money.

you always tried to thank people who bought from your throne personally, dming them on tumblr and sending exclusive pics in the things they bought for you. problem was, it was all under anonymous accounts and you didn’t get any messages owning up to the shopping spree. you decided to make a post asking who just bought you all that stuff and that you’d like to thank them.

soap was quick to message you, claiming responsibility for the gifts bought. you both get to talking and he mentions how he shares your pics with his mates, and how they get so excited when he sends a new picture of you. you respond back how you’re honestly so flattered, and you’d like to talk to them as well and thank them for their contribution to your wishlist.

eventually, you find some app or website that you can use to chat with them while not giving out any personal information. of course, when the things they ordered come in the mail, you make sure to send them plenty of videos and pictures.

they are hooked.

now it’s almost like you have four sugar daddies, paying for your bikini waxes (if you want them, they don’t mind hair down there yk), sending you money for groceries, for getting your nails done, or just because. sometimes, they even compete between the four of them to see who can make you the happiest (determined by the amount of exclamation marks you use when thanking them).

a/n: this is so self indulgent and kind of based on some of my experiences when i had an nsft blog on tumblr lolll 🙈 anyway, this is kinda unedited and rambling but would any of you guys want me to write more w this concept?

[astrobydalia]

Aquamarine. Gold. Lavender.Colors of summer... Astro Observations

work by astrobydalia

Your 9th house rules your gandchildren! 9th house is 5th from 5th so your kids' kids.

Also, if you are any of your parent's first kid look at their 11th house to get a glimpse at how they will perceive your fs. (11th house is 7th from 5th, so your first kid's spouse)

^^these are derivative astrology methods so you gotta use whole sign system

The scorpion actually represents the underdeveloped/young version of Scorpio while the developed version of Scorpio is represented by the eagle which to me is analogous to the phoenix. That's why you see an eagle representing Scorpio in the The World card (cause this card signifies fulfillment or completion in tarot)

I think the song 'Part of Me' by Katy Perry really illustrates developed Scorpio energy. Is not resentful or vengeful but rather transformative and empowering, you can't end their spirit just like you can't end a phoenix. Underdeveloped Scorpio energy allows pain, trauma and resentment to ultimately k!ll their soul which turns into self-destruction, think how scorpion's stinger actually points at them (and fun fact: scorpions can actually k!ll themselves when they feel cornered)

Being "different" or an "outcast" is not an Aquarius trait, it's a Leo trait. Leo is all about being yourself, being unique, the one and only and main character energy. Aquarius rules inclusivity, equality, social cohesion, FRIENDSHIP (aka people who get you) and public validation, that's why it is a strong fame indicator. Aquarius energy is relatable to others, its new and fresh, Leo it not relatable because it is unique, it shines among the crowd and burns just like the Sun. Aquarius can be unique too but the main difference is Leos feel ultimately they only have themselves while Aquarius will always have people.

Leos are meant to experience feeling "different" or outcasted because they need to learn to accept and express themselves no matter what, that's why it rules bravery and courage. They often either feel alone in their "greatness" or feel like nobody accepts their real self. Either way its more common for them than for Aquarius to experience loneliness and rejection just like the sun can't never have anything come too close to it

Aquarius does not rule uniqueness per se it rules innovation, authenticity and detachment from the ego. Aquarians that try hard to be different and separated from "most" people are underdeveloped because they're still attached to their ego and this is the n1 thing that kills their innovative potential. Aquarius doesn't do things to validate the self like Leo, it generates ideas on how humanity can better express itself and develop, that's why it rules over technology, science and activism and that's why they're known to be trend setters. Air signs are all about finding common ground, aquarians are not meant to be different from communities or groups but rather find new and authentic new ways to represent them (hence the inclusivity).

All the Gemini Venus I've met were very loyal in their relationships idk what you guys are talking about. They are the golden retriever person that is head over heals obsessed with their partner. It's not easy to get them to commit cus they need someone who has that perfect blend between goofy and mysterious, too much of either bores them quickly. They love in a playful and child-like way so I see how they can be flighty and non-commital sometimes but if they're genuinely intrigued by you oh boy they'll be ALL over you in every way pretty consistently

Harsh aspects (esp square) between Mercury-Mercury in synastry are a no-go when it comes to compatibility. The two people can get along well and like each other if the rest of the synastry supports it but they likely have NOTHING in common. Efforts to try and find shared interests or ideas might be misunderstood or feel forced because there's none 😭. Even if you do have shared ideas or interests, you will have vastly different ways of looking at them because the way in which you both think/communicate always clash so you never really see eye to eye. You can get away with having unharmonious connections between venus or mars in synastry but mercury? Nah.

When it comes to predictions specially, you need to have AT LEAST three indicators for an energy to stick. For example, having just one planet at 29º doesn't mean you're gonna be famous, you need to have at least three fame indicators to even consider fame in chart. Also, I can't stress this enough, you REALLY shouldn't need to dig too hard to find the indicators, they're usually evident and fit into the context of the chart, meaning there are no other things contradicting or neutralizing said energy.

Even though we often look at 7th house for marriage, you are most likely to consider marrying and settling down with people who have their placements in your 4th house and/or 10th house, or you just see them as marriage potential in general. 4th house creates a sense of home, security and familiarity while 10th house synastry points to shared goals, seeing a future together, etc. That's how you'll feel tho, to see if that would happen you gotta check composite chart

If you have fire in your big 3 I just know you love being unhinged and a little wild once you get comfortable

Natives with Venus-Chiron aspects tend to have... questionable taste in lovers or get in relationships that are not so promising (forbidden love, etc). Their love life is always a struggle, they feel like they can't find someone that truly loves them and when they do it's always "complicated". With hard aspects they tend to date people who blatantly suck (abusers, psychos, players, etc). With easy aspects this can happen too but I've noticed they are more prone to attracting people who are alright however deep down are very troubled and/or unavailable individuals so the native tends to be the one to heal or sooth their lover.

Scorpio Mars can have sadistic tendencies... It obviously does NOT have to go that far for everyone, in fact most of them are pretty tame but this placement really gets off on the reactions of others I've noticed. Their n1 superpower is catching you off guard and poking at you psychologically. They know exactly what strings to pull and are very aware of how anything they do or say can trigger and affect others. This can manifest as smart and punchy humor, teasing... or really toxic behaviors. Oh and you do NOT wanna see them genuinely angry 😶 If you have this placement im gonna kindly ask you to please use your powers for good 😭💀

Females with Libra placements could have experienced being 'the other woman' I've seen this a lotttt. Either that or they constantly attract situatioships. They have a tendency to not be taken seriously by the opposite sex, only being seen as a trophy or a pretty face kinda vibe. Unless they also have Cancer energy

Which is interesting to see cause even though Libra rules marriage, the kind of women who are mostly perceived as marriage material by men are Cancer placements not Libra. If you think about it, it makes sense tho cause cancer rules family and motherhood

Water venus people have a very approachable and understanding aura. Very diplomatic and tactful, they'll effortlessly make you feel comfortable around them. Equally accepting of others both in public and in privet, but you'll automatically lose them if you make them feel invaded

Fire venus motto is "it's impossible to impress me.... but let's see you try😏". They purposefully market themselves as hard to get cause they want to see what you got. Will constantly crave interactions with some fun and friction

Earth venus are a lot more harsh, they haven't even talked to you yet but somehow have already decided you didn't make the cut 🥱 Silent observers, they'll have a mental spread sheet of what they like and don't like about you

With air venus you don't want to come off too strong otherwise you'll activate their fight or flight response 🏃‍♀️ You'll never know where you stand with them but if you wanna get closer you need to keep it playful and give them space

Virgo Sun/Mars/ASC like to help others but they do it in such way that is also indirectly self-serving to themselves. Virgos are sidereal Leos, they secretly want recognition for their modesty and want their actions and efforts to ultimately shine back on them

Underdeveloped Pisces Moons are selfish and out of touch. I’ve noticed this placement is painted in a way too innocent light but they can have a nasty shadow too. They will not accept anything that does not conform to their delusional expectations about life and when things don't go their way they’ll isolate in melancholy and victimize themselves using the ‘misunderstood’ card. They can have a really twisted perception of reality, confusing the lines between right and wrong to accommodate their own narrative. Think Thanos from MCU, that character is a perfect example of underdeveloped Pisces Moon fr!! They tend to be very aloof and weaponize their empathy to appear innocent . Can use the “I can understand the world but the world doesn’t understand me” mentality to justify everything they do without ever feeling bad about it.

Another Return that brings a lot of karmic lessons aside from Saturn Return is your North Node return which happens every 18 years (Ages 18, 36, 54, etc)

Gemini risings have a fabricated or fragmented personality. They're often attracted to things like astrology, personality stuff, psychology, etc because it helps them make sense of themselves through abstract concepts. They also tent to define themselves through imitation or comparison like "I do that too", etc. It's very easy for them to convince themselves they're something they're not (gemini rules lies and deception), that's why they're often good actors (Pisces 10th house). They come across as very air-headed cause who they present themselves to be is based on who they THINK and SAY they are vs. how that translates in reality

Based on my life experience and also the responses in astro/observation posts, I've observed Scorpio placements respond relatively well to criticism. Not saying they don't care, but they can handle being villainized quite well because when developed they can have a really healthy acceptance of their shadow side and toxic traits. They also don't mind being misunderstood cause that means people can't pry on their business

CANCER, Libra, Leo and Virgo placements on the other hand are the most sensitive to criticism.... They can't handle not being seen as "the good one" all the time

Most Pisces suns I've met gave off huge xNTJ vibes for some reason like very deep thinkers, silent, sarcastic with a low-key threatening and unapproachable aura. Also VERY elusive and protective their personal stuff, they embodied the "mysterious" Scorpio stereotype fr.

However Pisces sun+pisces venus combo gives much softer vibe, more quiet and doormat-like, you'd think they're high 24/7.

The other bunch of Pisces suns Ive met had a very bubbly and dramatic personality. Can be emotional in a really performative way

Libra Mars people are SMOOOOOTH. Not only with their words but also their mannerisms, how they move and do things in general. You'll never see them triggered or stressed, they make everything look so effortless

The Pluto in Scorpio generation (millennials mostly) were the ones who started this mental health awareness wave. All this concern with anxiety, depression, mental and personality disorders was started by them. They’re the ones who started putting focus on the deeper effects of the dark psychology (Scorpio).

All the people that have scared me and traumatized me deeply for life had planets in my 12th house with no 8th house synastry in sight whatsoever…

>>> In my experience 8th house synastry is only intense in the moment but eventually you get over it fast once you stop entertaining the person/situation. It might be hard to let it go tho cause the connection is intense and this person will leave a lasting impression, but once it’s done that person is forever dead to you. 12th house synastry on the other hand is giving "I fight with you in my sleep", 12th house feels harmless at first but it deals with themes of sorrow and shame. It lingers and haunts you fr. Let’s remember that Saturn, the planet of permanece and lessons, finds its joy in the 12th house…

8th house venus/juno is NOT a sugar baby indicator imo. As per my observation, it is actually the 8th house native that ends up making a lot of money and their spouse/partner benefits from the native's income and success. I swear every person I've seen with these placements had "we could hang out in my yacht if you want😉" as their main flirting technique LMAO. Their own power (8th house) is their main source of seduction and attraction (Venus/Juno)

I believe 2nd house Venus/Juno is more indicative of sugar baby energy. They want that spoiled good life with little effort even if that means being financially dependent on someone else or using family's money

In contrast I've noticed 8th house placements are not really like that, they have a HEAVY entrepreneurial spirit. Super ambitious individuals

With that being said, be careful if your have natal 8th house placements (specially Venus, Moon, Juno, 7th house ruler), cause the people you bond with WILL benefit from YOUR income and success. That's why these natives are prone to experiencing betrayal, cause if you surround yourself with the wrong people they'll take what they want from you or cause chaos in your life and then leave, so use your intuition!!

With 2nd house energy you are good at keeping your resources and income safe, but this means they can lose value if you don't use or invest them eventually just like food goes bad if it just sits in the fridge. With 8th house energy you are prone to loss, debt, loans and other financial risks where you either lose it all or gain lots and lots of money, the all or nothing nature of plutonic energy.

I bet any virgo placement can relate to being a little bit of mess but something I’ve seen in particular with Virgo risings is they are surprisingly sloppy?? You really wouldn't in a million years think so given how they always end up presenting good results but once you know them deeply you notice they often miss out on important details in the process or get so caught up with short-term things that they miss the big picture. Either way, they often look like they got it all together but they constantly improvise a lot more that what it looks like in the surface

Aquarius Mars is a placement I've seen A LOT in celebrities, specially well-liked ones. They attract people to them just by existing, they don't even have to try too hard

I’ve noticed a lot of critically acclaimed actors have air moons

Sagittarius Part of Fortune have a vibrant and fun spirit, you can’t never kill their vibes but they can tend to be immature. It’s like they’re completely oblivious to anything serious 

Libras are people pleasers due to a hidden inferiority complex (sidereal virgo)

work by astrobydalia

[feistyvirghoe]

𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒₊˚*ੈ♡⸝⸝🪐༘⋆ ❝ 𝐖𝐇𝐎𝐒 𝐊𝐄𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐀𝐁𝐒 𝐎𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐖𝐇𝐘? ❞𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒₊˚*ੈ♡⸝⸝🪐༘⋆

*this is not meant to stir up drama or to be messy, i was curious and in this digital age that we’re living in it’s easy for people to keep up with you by also staying hidden in the shadows, this is just uncovering the who and why this or these people have been keeping tabs on you, weird weird world we live in but it’s good to be aware instead of oblivious.*

pick a card disclaimers ೃ🩷⁀➷

pick a pile u feel most called to, the one u cannot look away from, the one that is pulsing, go with your gut, always trust yourself, and if u feel called to more that’s cool baby boo! there’s more for u!

these are general and for a vast amount of ppl, don’t get ur undies all twisted up bc it’s not resonating, it’s normal and it’s fine, this just wasn’t for u! <3

these are extremely general collective timeless readings and they’re meant for entertainment purposes, please don’t take things so seriously and also realize my readings are for people above 18!

╰┈➤ ❝ [ ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ who ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡> i feel like this is a person you guys have moved on from, like you’ve accepted them for who they are and whatever happened between the both of you. it’s like remembering this person has you breathing more deeply, to stay calm and not exaggerate the feelings you have towards them.

> this person is like really obsessive over you, to keep you fucking stuck and confused. like they’re still holding onto something like a grudge against you, but you’re more peaceful and zen

> this is an ex lover for you, or someone you were close with at some point. i keep saying “keeping pile” like they’re trying to fucking keep your energy attached to them, like anything they can find on you they’ll just engage and get lost in you, your business, what’s going on with you.

> this feels like a person with heavy masc energy who’s coming off as a bit arrogant, as if you’d never walk away from them. okay so they’re just giving off conceited, a bit delusional vibes, like they’re hyping themself up and putting themself on a pedestal but they’re honestly someone who floats around, like they’re onto the next and they can’t stand that you left them, basically u just walked away and said enough is enough and let them go, but THEY still want to keep that fucking rinky dinky ass chain strong and durable, but there’s nothing there for you.

> there is so much strife and chaos and just a bunch of messy shit going on in their life, they can’t escape it so i guess the only solution is to go back to the person they screwed over omg what?!

>it’s like they want you to feel like it’s your fucking fault for whatever happened.

>yall are so over it omg, i was about to wrap this shit up bc i was just getting like annoyed, like that “what the F ever” type of vibe

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ why ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡> i feel like they’re keeping tabs on you because of this worry, some sort of deep regret and they’re scared, idk being haunted by thoughts of you. they’re everywhere and they seem a bit unstable tbh, they aren’t thinking clearly at all.

>another thing here is that you probably have been through the ringer with this person and you have moved gracefully, not going after them and avenging yourself by seeking revenge, you took the high road and just left this person where they are

> now that you’ve moved on, they feel as if you’re outshining them, you probably are and you don’t see it, but you’ve learned so much and gained a lot of helpful fucking information to help u grow and move on to something better and healthier for you, so now it’s like for them, you’re shoving in their face, this is giving like EXTREME DELUSIONAL ENERGY.

> see you are shining bitch! i am not sure how they know or think they know so much about you but you’ve listened to god or whoever you believe in (i persona think they’re all one but don’t quote me) but you’ve just listened to even your higher self because you know what’s best for you. they’re handing you this beautiful majestic, bright fucking stick and it’s yours, it’s all yours to take and this weirdo is disturbed by your new beginnings as if it shouldn’t be meant for you uhhhh wtf?? i mean unless you’ve done some shady shit i can understand but i don’t think so boo, this or these people are just fucking coming from a place of heavy insecurity and feelings of being inadequate. this is for you and what do they say, what is really meant for you will never pass you by.

> you’ve taken back your power, your energy, just you took back you, lol taking yourself to the fucking car wash to clean all that weird shit off of you, coming out squeaky clean ready for the brighter days ahead of you! and that’s amazing as hell, bc this is can tell was not easy and probably caused some crazy shit to happen to you as well, but you’re not a problem boo and don’t take on their projection and warped narrative of you!

> live your life to the fucking fullest and never apologize for that shit! esp no apologizing to fucking bozos who have done you wrong and then want to gaslight you into thinking that you’re the problem and that everything was your fault. shit happens for some reasons we can’t even understand and i know it frustrates me too but it’s outside of our control and we have to accept it and move on and that’s what u did, i mean im seeing it here rn boo w the 5oC reversed. you did it, so be proud of yourself because overcoming these tough ass emotional and mental challenges is fucking scary and tiring.

take care to you lovely people and embrace this new beginning okay <333 i love you. ] ❞

╰┈➤ ❝ [◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ who ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡> this is someone who you cut ties with, someone who you ended things with, im getting someone who feels heartbroken by you and left out in the cold

>could be more than one person, like a group of people, but these people are struggling right now

>these are people disturbed by your happiness, your joyful spirit wth, anyways, they’re not doing so well, like things have been taken away from them whether that may be literally or figuratively, but they’re feeling like their scorned, as if this is your fault

>this is someone who doesn’t want to grow from whatever happened, the first card i pull is always the person who’s reading this, their energy and you’re coming out as the sun, a youthful spirit, someone young and childlike, like the innocence not like acting like a child lol

>but this person could also be acting childish too, like a bit ignorant and petty. do you even know these people, there’s so much going on here

>this pile is so confusing, we have a queen of swords, a queen of wands, king of pentacles and the prince of pentacles, like who are these people??

> idk why im crying right now and in tears lmfao, like this pile is confusing me heavy and it’s really annoying me, maybe it’s like this person or these weirdos want you confused

>the energy is just really frustrating and irritating me so i’m pulling newer cards for you to get better messages.

>this person is just annoying the fuck out of me bro, but it’s someone with many fucking options, someone who can’t seem to stay committed to one thing, they’re pulled every which way and idk if it’s your irritation or their irritation i’m picking up on, someone who wants you back

>this person could be an air sign or have those placements somewhere in their chart aqua,libra, gemini

>they feel like they’re down in the dumps right now, someone who just played with you, they see you moving on and now they’re feeling some type of way about it, they’re very emotionally unstable

>they could also be a water sign, but this person is just in shambles, freaking out emotionally, missing you heavily, but they’re just so fucking unstable dude, they have a low self esteem and feel like they’re being overlooked by everyone

>nothing seems to be going their way and it’s pissing them off, maybe that’s why i was irritated, like they’re throwing temper tantrums bc that emotion that took over me was gross and i wasn’t acting like myself, someone fucking pent up over you, not to be rude but this mofo may wanna come in with some weird fucking energy/vibes

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ why ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡> they’re trying to change their ways it seems, or their just being slapped in the face with the realness that comes with living life here on earth as a human.

>they want something new with you and as in new i mean love, like they’re want to come back and re-light a spark in this connection. but there is none, nothing is happening and they’re purposefully being blocked off from talking to you

>but even if they did come close to you, the whole thing seems like it may turn into like a fucking emotional meltdown, like spazzing out on you

>they’re not allowed near you bro, it’s like they want something new with you but they’re not giving up their weird party lifestyle, like always clubbing and drinking and never really taking much responsibility, it’s sad, they’re not confident within themselves and they’re just watching you shine

>watching you move on to newer paths that have been set out for you, like they’re seeing you as a temptation too, wanting u sexually, i mean you turn this person on yeah but their energy is just weird, like “look at me”

>i don’t understand why they don’t want to give up on this, like extremely fixated on you, as if it’s their job to fucking watch you, they’re a fluid person but they ain’t fucking committed

>like listen to this line “i just wanna fuck my 🥷 in piece but all of my old 🥷 still love me” from hiss by meg thee stallion, hmm, all bc u either literally moved away from them or just got your ass up and left them where they are, it’s like they’re still holding on to this thought of you taking them back, as if you’d welcome them with open arms..

>does this person just grind your damn gears because i’m extremely repulsed right now, idk why they can’t give up, it’s like you’re their last option, how insulting in my opinion

>like oh now im seeing you for who you truly are, excuse me?? as if they couldn’t appreciate you when you were there in their fucking face!! talk about a delayed reaction to you leaving their ass behind, sorry i’m so blunt yall (just fucking weird energy from this person)

> you’re coming out as an empress/emperor and honestly you just need to let go of this person, like i would recommend not engaging with this person, their intentions are creepy, ugh ew, like they’re worried about who you’re basically with right now

>like so fucking consumed and obsessed with you, why do they care so much ahhhh but then the “i don’t know why im so obsessed with you” card came out LOL!

>girl/boy/YOU…just let your spirit team take care of it, like seriously they are there and it’s not your duty to fulfill, they’ll reap what they sow, and it’s like they’re reaping it now..

>during this pile i was just so frantic and overwhelmed my goodness! please take care of yourselves and idk if they’d ever reach out and say something maybe that’s why they’re just watching u bc u intimidate them, you don’t fuck around and you’re not dumb so for them to think that they can come in and try to get one up on you is delusional.

>i do have to say this though, there was another group of people but they were all fucking confusing too, like it was a mix of good and bad yall

>someone is watching u quietly and waiting for an opportunity with you, to give u good good love but it was like taken over by jealous, envious people, like i could be wrong but that’s how it was feeling, you got many eyes on you and whatever you’re doing, cleanse yourself baby bc some of them are good and want to approach u for good reasons but then there are the weirdos, ughaahhahahah your pile is wild dude and i can go on and on about it!

>like i honestly want to do a reading for you all and ask about the people who aren’t karmic that are keeping tabs on you…like the decent kind people who are keeping tabs on you and why, like getting into it and uncovering what spirit wants to show me so i can pass it onto you.

>i hope u enjoyed or well got something interesting out of your reading, this pile felt so crazy lol, babe it’s probably how u have people over you, just going crazy like you’re living in their head rent free

>i mean yeah they’re keeping tabs on you to see what you have going on in your life, so impulsive too, like they don’t know how to control themselves..like they want to get into your secret club, they don’t want to let you go bro, like still holding on to any piece of you and of course there are pieces of you on the internet esp if you have some sort of platform where you post and what i mean by post is posting anything, just being urself on your social media accounts..

> i pulled some more to see why they want to get into your lil club and it’s literally coming off as hedonistic? to just like have fun like how yall used to, it’s sex sex sex for them, that and also what they can get from you, you’re so understanding and it’s like they miss how generous you were with them

>but u have so much of yourself to like get nothing back dude, this is all about taking from you, as if it belongs to them, i swear this person just needs to get it figured out and fucking heal and do some shadow work, like just take a look at themselves and see the ugly shit they seem to avoid my goodness!

>yall got people obsessed and squirming over you lmao! love u guys and be safe okay mwah! <333 ] ❞

╰┈➤ ❝ [◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ who ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡> this is someone who has young feminine energy, even if they’re not biologically a female, it’s what’s coming out, basically a page, but there’s resistance here.

>this is someone who’s life is just feeling out of place, i mean karma is just doing its things, seems like this is someone who burned you. did some weird shit regarding your relationship with them.

> again an ice out feeling, they may be an aries, sag or leo, or scorpio, pisces, cancer, you or them. i feel like this person may want to contact you but they’re not sure how to go about it.

>i mean they’re feeling heartbroken, i feel like they can only watch from afar, as if they’re scared to get close to you? it’s weird, they’re lonely rn like just keeping to themselves away from people

>whatever happened between you two has them not wanting to give up, that’s a bit of why they’re lurking on you, but this is like tearing them apart inside, this break up between you two, doesn’t have to be romantic but it could.

>this is someone coming off as insecure to approach because they may not feel good enough to come back to you, you cut them off and now they’re just erratic, i don’t know if they’d actually try to contact you bc this isn’t that reading but even if they did im not sure it’ll get through to you.

>they hid some shit from you, or they’re just hiding, stalking you, i mean this is that reading, who’s keeping tabs on ya 🤣 but this is like a lil charmer, they seem to know how to get their way.

>literally a prince charming here, but mr charming is out here fucking around w weirdos, and what i mean is like the enabling of people that we surround ourselves with, it’s not a good crowd, people who like to party, idk drink, fuck around with each other, do drugs and shit, and another thing is they may also be feeling like it’s not that emotionally fulfilling.

>i mean fucking around with people who aren’t really good for you and who don’t care about you, that’d make someone who has a heart feel a bit bored with their peers.

>they could be a pisces or have cancer in their chart, or they’re also disillusioned, not seeing things clearly, making up stories, even gaslighting themselves into believing a different scenario. you could’ve been really close like they were apart of your family type of close, someone apart of your close circle, they just feel close.

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ why ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡> seems like they want to hold onto you because you fulfill them emotionally, like your love, your heart, your tenderness, they miss you, like they’re don’t want to see you with anyone else.

>trying to find you, figure you out but maybe you don’t even post crazily and they can’t find anything out about you..like a dead end.i feel like they’re holding onto hope that you’ll open up yourself to them again.

>this is just sad dude, you probably impacted them in a way that most people don’t, your sweet heart and how you can give so much of that love that’s within you, so effortlessly, they just miss you a lot.

>you guys probably did so many things together, like little adventures and exploring with each other, happy times with you and they’re reminiscing, i mean they can’t get over you, you’re all they can think about.

>they could be the avoidant type, not really addressing what the real issues are and brushing them off, if they hurt you and treated u badly don’t hold resentment in your heart, forgive for you not for them and if not that’s okay, do what feels best for you.

> i feel like they’re not meant to be riding along with you on this journey we call life, like whatever happened between the two of you, it’s irredeemable and it’s like they know they fucked up bad but they can’t seem to to take those heavy emotions so they just go and escape, avoiding their feelings in front of others but alone they’re in despair and just fucking depressed, heavy feelings, just melancholy…i feel like this is forcing them to take a look at what happened and address those issues but they’re holding out.

>they could be looking at old photos of you, pictures of yall together or just you alone…like that’s another way for them to hold onto you, they are also holding on to you and keeping tabs on you seeing when the right time is for them to come back in and speak to you

>they’re feeling you, like missing you sexually, they’re desiring you, lusting, obsessing over you, i mean they could even be jacking off to you, masturbating to your photos, they’re definitely angry, idk these feelings mixed together is scary, like the obsession, then the desire and then the fucking rage, ready to pop off and do some unhinged shit.

>i feel like the divine stepped in for you and pulled you away from them for a good reason, weird intentions on their side and it’s like they want to stay hidden until their timing is correct and then they’ll attack? or want to try and attach themselves to you again, please don’t fall for the bullshit and be discerning for real!!

>there’s this needy feeling to them, like they’re a big man on the outside but a baby on the inside, hiding who they really are, were they a bit iffy when it came to expressing emotions? and being vulnerable. this could go so many ways but was this like public or many people close to you knew about this, like people had to get between you two?

>know your worth and my advice is to just leave them alone if they do try to come your way again, let yourself explore the newer finer things coming into your life or just embrace where you are right now even if it sucks ass, at least you’re not near this person, they’re a karmic for ya, someone who just brought a bunch of chaos and drama but lessons too, take time to yourself to heal and not jump into anything too fast, don’t blame yourself for anything and take this lightly, i don’t wanna stir up too much for yall omg.

>thank you for reading this and taking your time to check out my pac :), hope u guys have a lovely rest of ur day <333] ❞

╰┈➤ ❝ [◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡> who ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡>> okay so this is weird and i really hope this resonates with someone but it seems like this is a gang of fools, yeah i said it…like a group of people you don’t even know and they’re trying to seek some sort of justice but u probably know who the ringleader is, apparently you know something about the stalking, the creeping, the fucking lurking.

>they’re hiding yes, just watching and spying on you, im not sure if you’re the one who’s completely oblivious to this but it’s like a family dynamic, maybe it’s a group of people who are like family to each other, but there’s this secretive shit going on.

>it seems like u barely know any of them, they’re strangers, and then there’s like a mother figure or someone who’s like in a group and their the “mom” friend. they could have cancer or aqua somewhere in their birth chart. or that could be you im picking up on, place it where it fits and if it doesn’t that doesn’t mean it’s not your pile boo!

>this is catching me off guard, im feeling a group of people that travel together, like all locked in w each other spying on you, this is so fucking weird. a group of people that are working together or just watching you together pissed, mad.

> i feel like they’re gathering and like mocking you, berating you together, are these people that barely know each other but they’re pulled together and clicking bc of their secret animosity towards you. they’re trying hard as fuck though, to keep this shit a secret.

>we have the “beware of anyone from the past wanting to enter back into your life” so it could be someone you were sexual with at one point and they’re feeling some type of way, or they did some dirty shit involving sexual relations..

>if they keep it up they’re gonna experience some weird ass shit coming their way, like freak accidents by trying to send the evil eye your way, seems like this is a team effort bro, like fucking gang stalking wtf, please take cleansing baths, like throw some florida water in w your soap, or sage before you jump in the shower, whatever works for you, palo santo, sage, dragons blood sage, cedar sage etc.

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡> why ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡>> because they’re jealous of you and have nothing else better to do with their life. envious of your belongings because it seems like they don’t have shit for themselves, i mean with how negative this energy is, i can see why shit keeps delaying and failing, cmon dude.

>lemme break it down, they’re envious of what you have and your image, how your coming off to those around you, your beauty and maybe even how naturally alluring you are, it always sound cliche but your light you emit.

>it’s like they want to be you, they hate you so fucking much but want to be you, even your money as well, or the abundance within you, but it also feels material, like you may look “wealthy” “rich” “high maintenance” my goodness???? and this disturbs them, just a group of hateful envious mean people.

>they’re either hiding behind their screens just jealous, you must be a fucking god/goddess bc this envy is disturbing like hating someone because they’re pretty, i understand being a lil envious of other people’s features and being lighthearted about it, like awww i wish i had her nose or whatever, but you still accept yourself and your “flaws” were all different and unique.

>i personally think it’s a bit fucked up how everyone wants to look like everyone they see on social media, and we don’t even look like that, it’s all a facade, like we age, we gain we lose, we grow, we’re always fucking growing and changing dude…shit happens to us in life..just go out and walk around your town and see how uniquely beautiful we are, so many different forms of beauty, just like with flowers too, it’s boring being the same and looking the same and doing the same thing as someone else, be true to you and accept yourself for who you are, we can always change! it’s the way of life fr!

>no this is a bit deranged, it’s like a habit for them to watch you and stalk you basically, that’s what they’re doing. this may be a scorned lover but it can go a MANY WAYS hahaha..they’re like trying to make u feel insignificant by literally indirectly talking shit about you on their social media.

>this feels like one sided beef bro…i mean it may be put to a stop and if this is a fucking full on deranged stalker im sorry and please keep yourself safe and well. take the right precautions and keep your accounts private if you’re on any social media accounts. these people are so weird(you’ll notice i keep saying it but that’s what it is, fucking weird…disturbing)

>they clearly don’t like you even if they pretend to and they’re like the little minions from despicable me, just a bunch of clones, trying to get people to shit on your name and full on slander you but oh they’re behind closed doors because they’re cowards.

>i feel like you’re just making your fucking money, minding your business, doing what you gotta do and these people have the audacity to just yap and yap about you, especially if you take care of your body or do whatever you need to, to make sure you stay healthy and happy.

>it’s giving, they really really dislike you because of your self care routine, whatever methods you use to just flat out take care of yourself. this is just weird dude.

>i feel like you figured something out about this scorned love, someone who feels betrayed by you but i bet they did some weird fudged up shit and you broke the fantasy, you opened up your eyes.

>major confirmation is the “they secretly keep tabs on your every move” card, damn…just stalking you, it’s fucking weird and creepy, like keeping up with whatever you got going on eeugh

>youre effortlessly shining and beautiful, honestly even if you’re not a woman you have the the empress. divine feminine energy is just radiating off of you, a calm passionate, sexy, patient, gentle loving person bro! i feel like they really hate your fucking looks, why are people so envious and jealous nowadays.

>but they’re the same people to copy you and try and steal your shit as if they did it first fr! a bunch of damn copycats, people who aren’t comfortable with themselves, they don’t know how to be content in their own skin, but then they’re also beating others down and shit talking, a bunch of nasty ass poopoo breath yapping and spouting nonsense.

>im in so much pain right now wtf, like a punching feeling, in my gut and then my back as well, so i’m not sure if you’ve been feeling that way too but like i said above, cleanse yourself!!!! go on etsy and find a good practitioner to help you do a protection spell, even if you do or don’t know these individuals just explain what you’re feeling to them and the situation and they’ll do the rest, all you have to do is believe <3 but you’ll be okay, just don’t feed into the drama, these people have self esteem issues and i can relate but this is just beyONNND just out of hand like wtf??!

>seems like their behavior is about to be put to an end, keeping up this BS, you’ll see how shit plays out, you may hear from someone or see it for yourself but they’re not gonna be able to run away and hide what they’re fucking doing..

> please go and seek someone to help you cut these cords, like hex breaking spells/rituals, someone who’s legit and real with you. protect yourself and your energy, they have shit intentions and its deliberate. all of this is just to fuck with you and make you feel some type of way and i’m sorry pile four yall don’t deserve that shit from these weird folk. they’re adamant about hating your gifts, your spiritual gifts.

>i hope you guys remember who tf you are and stay in that damn power, know thyself fr! all parts of you, knowing they can’t fucking mess with you, knowing that they’ll get their karma and it’ll hit, it won’t miss.

>sending you guys love and support, hope u have a good rest of your day and prosper, go shine you beautiful angel!!!] ❞

thank ya thank ya thank ya, for stopping by and checking out this PAC, thank you for the support and i appreciate it in advance to lmk what ya thought by liking, reblogging and commenting, i like hearing from yall, like how it resonated lol and if it didn’t don’t be an ass man haha ass man 💀 anyways thank you again and i’m sending love to you guys, MWAH MWAH MWAH!!!!! 💋

@anitalenia for the cute ass dividers <3

[fanfiction4sooya]

As If (Natty x f! reader)

I have no idea where I found the inspiration for this but natty has been on my mind lately so yeah... no real content warning (except smut) because you'll have to figure things out by yourself 😌😌😌 I hope y'all like it!! 💖💖💖

cw: smut, gxg, not really proofread it's short for a reason ;)

You weren't out of the closet for much time and not to many people as well. College made you figure it out that your slight obsession with women wasn't just for pure scientifical reasons and well, you were still quite literally figuring things out.

Your roomate on the other had had everything settled already and she was, well... experienced.

You weren't enemies but not friends either, per say. Defintely not friends.

"How do you know you like girls if ou haven't tried anything with one yet?" Your friend, Belle, asked.

"She gets horny with the thought of her and another girl fucking" Julie rolled her eyes at Belle. "I'm sure straight girls don't feel that" Now belle rolled her eyes.

"That's not what I meant. I'm encouraging her to do it..." They both looked at your shy self.

"I can't even talk to a girl! How am I supposed to, you know..." You blushed. "It took me a year to have sex with my ex boyfriend, just so you know" They both nodded.

"Maybe you should get with someone more experienced?" Belle asked.

"Have you thought about asking Natty?" Haneul appeared from thin air and all of you looked at her.

"N-atty?" You shyly said, frowning.

"Oh Natty would be perfect for the job" Belle clapped.

"I would be perfect for what job?" Natty scared the four of you, wearing that smug smile of hers as usual.

"What the fuck, where are you guys coming from?!?" Julie asked, exhasperated.

"What were you guys talking about just now?" She eyed you up and down. "What job?"

"A hand job, to be more precise..." Haneul said, looking at her phone.

"Haneul!" You said, slapping her arm.

"I'm just saying... you do need her-" You covered her mouth.

"Do you need my hand, baby?" She suggestively raised her eyebrows, letting her head fall a bit to the side and all the other girls silently went 'oooh'.

Oh you hated how cocky she was, hated her smug face only because you always heard her with all those other girls and all her bragging that she can get any girl she wants... you would rather not touch a woman forever if you were to choose between that or her. Didn't matter if the thought of it was alluring and heat rose up to your cheeks.

You did not need her hand for anything!

"You?" You rolled your eyes. "Pfft, as if" You turned your back to her and your friends, walking away as fasts as you could without looking like an idiot.

Natty bit her lower lip, watching you walk away as the awkward silence installed itself amongst your friends who quickly bid their goodbyes to her.

"As if..." She said, amused by you. "We'll see about that" She whispered to herself, putting on her sunglasses and walking lazily to her next class.

A few days had passed and living with her was all but amusing. Natty was using your new discovery as leverage to torment you every chance she got. It was subtle at first, but soon you understood she was just teasing you.

That day wouldn't be different.

You were on the couch writing something down on your notebook as she entered the living room, wearing her sleeping shorts and a tiny crop top that showed perfectly the underside of her boobs and her stomach.

Your eyes followed her as she plopped right beside you, scrolling through social media.

She was sitting so close you could feel her heat on your own skin.

"Can you move?" You huffed, trying your best to sound annoyed.

"To where?" She 'innocently' said.

"I don't know. Anywhere but my side, maybe?" You lowered your eyes to your notebook and pen, ignoring her when you felt both items being snatched from you and her legs straddled your waist. "Hey!" You held her waist, trying to force her up but she wouldn't budge.

"You said anywhere but your side, baby" She said, looking down at your flustered face.

"I didn't mean for you to sit o-on me" You stammered, pink tinted cheeks getting redder by the second. You could feel how warm her private parts felt against your stomach.

"Oh..." She hushed, hands holding your wrists. "But I want to..." She stared at your lips, biting hers.

"W-what?" You said, gulping so hard you were sure she heard it.

"Nothing" She smiled, getting up. "You are cute when you get all shy" She gave back your pen and notebook and quickly got back to your side, scrolling on her phone like nothing had happened.

"What the fuck..." You whispered, trying to understand what the hell had just happened.

"What did you say?" She looked at you, that smug smile on her face once again.

"N-nothing" You quickly got up to go to your bedroom.

You closed your eyes, trying to even your breath, the image of her on top of you felt sinful; her warm skin, her boobs and tummy, her hands on your wrists, her pus- You shook your head.

"Stop that you dumb lesbian!!" You said to yourself. "She is messing with you, don't forget that" Closing your eyes, you felt heat spreading to your core.

To that day on you couldn't stop your thoughts. All you wanted was her on you and vice versa, it was insane. She was Natty and you knew she was a train wreck going full speed into any pair of spread legs she could see...

The thought of it was arousing but you were definitely not having Natty as your first experience with a woman. Not the biggest fuckgirl you've ever met. Not her.

*****

Getting out of the shower you had already dressed your baby pink pajamas so you'd go to bed, you almost let out a scream when you found your roomate in your bed, eyes closed and everything.

"What the hell?!" You squeaked out. "What are you doing here?" She smiled.

"I had an accident on my bed and now it's wet..." She trailed off. "So I invited myself to sleep here with you" Natty bit her lower lip as innocently as she could (near zero).

"No, you can sleep on the couch" You tried pulling her off your bed, but she was stronger, pulling you into her arms instead.

"Please, it will be only tonight" She spoke into your hair since you turned your face to the side so you wouldn't face her. "The couch is too small and uncomfortable"

"Natty, let go" You felt yourself growing needier with each second passed into her arms.

"Will you let me stay?" She squeezed you a bit harder and you almost melted into her, holding on for dear life the need to whimper.

"O-okay" You husked. "now please, let go" You said, turning your face to stare at her. Her smirk was dizying, enfuriating so, so... hot.

"Why?" She looked to your eyes, then to your lips. "You can stay on top of me" It felt like that sentence woke you up and you immediately pushed her, sitting up on the bed.

"Jesus, I can't ever give you the benefit of the doubt" You rolled your eyes. "You can sleep here but you'll stay quiet" You said, laying besides her and immediately closing your eyes.

"I was waiting for a bedtim-"

"Don't push your luck" You interrupted with your eyes closed, trying to think of something, anything that wasn't her inside of you. She just said "Okay" and kept her silence.

You could feel her turning on the bed, her breath lightly tickling your nape and making you squirm. A thought occur in your mind and before holding it in you quickly asked:

"How did you wet your bed?" You said.

"Ahh, it's embarassing..." She whimpered. You eyes shot open and you turned around.

"No way you peed in your bed" You said, holding your laughter.

"It wasn't that" She rolled her eyes. "But I'm not telling you"

"oh you did pee in your bed, there's no other explanation!" You sounded so naive she thought you were the cutest thing ever.

"I didn't" She got closer to your ear. "I squirted on it" You leaned back, staring at her face for what felt like ages, waiting for her to laugh it off and say she was only joking.

Apparently she wasn't.

"W-why would you tell me that?" You stammered, swallowing hard.

"Because you asked me, silly"

"You could've lied!" You squirmed, heat pooling in your stomach. The thought of it was too much.

"Why would I do that when only the truth could make you blush like you are doing just now? Hm?" She placed a strand of hair behind your ear and you felt your face grow even hotter. "You look pretty like this"

"Like what?" You managed to say and she leaned even more your way.

"All hot and bothered thinking of me fucking myself for you"

"F-for me?" Your arousal was already dripping onto your sleeping shorts. Natty nodded.

"You always made me feel this way..." She straddled your lap, her warm pussy hovering over yours. "I always wanted you to catch me with my fingers deep inside myself for you" She whisperered, lips hovering over yours. "I need to do the same to you-" She started saying but you cut her off with a searing kiss.

You two immediately moaned onto each others lips, your hands on her hips as she lightly humped your tummy.

You were going insane.

The kiss felt urgent, hot; yet so delicate you couldn't even believe anyone in the world would rather kiss a man than a woman. Especially a woman like Natty.

She was so skilled and secure, her tongue grazing deeper and deeper over yours, her lips trailing from your lips to your jaw and your neck. Every time she'd suck on it you felt your pussy throb in need, your eyes roll far back.

"Natty..." You moaned so beautifully you couldn't even believe that angelic sound came from you.

"I'm gonna teach you something, baby..." She smiled against your lips, flipping you two so now you were the one straddling her as her hands quickly found your hips to make you roll them over her clothed pussy.

"Fuck..." You moaned against her lips and she smiled, bruisinly kissing you. You felt wetness seaping through your shorts and quickly - and without thinking - tried to remove yourself from her lap but she held your hips firmly in place.

"Where do you think you are going?" Her voice was laced with arousal, dominance. You mentally slapped yourself for denying you this for so long.

"I'm too wet..." You wanted to hide your face anywhere so she wouldn't see your blushed cheeks.

"Aw, is my sweet girl wet?" She mocked and you rolled your eyes.

"You don't need to point it-" You were interruped by her fingers grazing your clit over your shorts, making you tremble from head to toe. "Oh, my..."

"Indeed..." The pad of her fingers found your sticky slit. "So fucking wet for me" Her eyes darkened, her other hand squeezing your hip with bruising force as to keep you there. "What do you need, baby?" She husked and you found it really hard to find your words. "Say it" She pulled down your pajama top exposing your breasts, her tongue soon circling one of your nipples to hasrhly suck on it.

"Oh, fuck" You choked out. "I need you to fuck me, Natty" You moaned, her eyes mischievously staring up at you as she started circling your engorged clit still over your shorts.

You moaned, trying your best to keep your upper body straight so you wouldn't suffocate her, one of your hands on her nape as to pull her more and more onto your sensitive breasts.

Your hips took off, in sync with her fingers as your cunt pulsed and your eyes watered.

"K-eep going" You stammered. "Natty, ah" You bit your lower lip.

"Are you close, baby?" She said, her hot breath fanning over one of your sensitive nipples.

"Y-yes, please" Your eyes found hers and she smiled.

"Good" She said, stopping everything she was doing and pushing you off her lap.

"Wha-" She literally pushed you onto the bed so your back would be on her front, her arms circling around your waist.

"What? You thought that little 'as if' would go unoticed?" She scoffed. "I told you I'd teach you something" You felt yourself tremble in her embrance. "Today you'll learn the consequences of that little transgression in front of your friends"

"Are you really going to leave me like this?" You wanted to cry because of that ruined orgasm, because you felt humiliated after literally begging for her to fuck you.

"For now" She whispered, your pussy aching in need for her. "When you learn how to behave you'll get what you want" She kissed your cheek. "For now you'll sleep all sticky thinking of ways you can be nicer to me"

"You-" She squeezed you a bit harder.

"Be nice" Her voice sounded way too commanding and you felt a wave of arousal run through you like a lightning.

"Sorry" You whined.

"That's it, baby..." She smiled.

Unlike you, Natty slept the whole night...

[thementalshawty]

PAC What’s Bloccin’ You From ROMANTIC Love.

Hey babies, I’m bacc with another pac I’m always hearing and getting the questions on when is love coming and I’m like aye same but there’s some things that we’re doing that’s kind of shoving love away and we don’t know what it is or we don’t wanna be real about it, well I’m here to be real some of us are purposefully pushing away love or bloccin it and we’re gonna find out why, choose between the 3 Gifs and find out what’s been bloccin you from love!!! so I won’t see your cards til I write up the reading for you guys cos I’m doing a blind reveal so I can give you very live on the spot intuition and feedbac, sometimes I like to see the cards to get an overall energy before starting the piles but something is telling me to just allow myself to experience this reading with you, hmmm maybe something in there about me we gon see.

Also I’ll be pulling one card for myself at the end to give myself a reading as well on this and I’ll love for your comments and thoughts about it, (Sumn new I wanna try)

P1

P2

P3

Let’s get started shall we 😏

Pile 1

At the bottom of the Decc for you guys you have Losing Yourself. I’m seeing that you guys easily lose yourselves in the ones that you’re involved with I’m thinking maybe even talking stages too and it’s okay to be obsessed with them I heard never stop showing affection or that you care but don’t make them your ENTIRE LIFE & EXISTENCE! You have a life too, so don’t forget to live it! This makes me feel like most of you will find love when you’re focused on you or when you’re doing something for you,living your best life you know? I’m getting a message for you saying “Also watch out for that in friendships, all relationships, all kinds.” I’m surprised that the boundaries card didn’t show up, oh well we didn’t even pull your cards yet but don’t be surprised if that’s one of the cards I feel. Yeah the main reason I feel like love is blocced for you guys is that you lose yourself completely in others which is in MY OPINION just because you don’t really know yourself that well or that confident in who you are, which is very normal so feel not type of way about it. Your first card is NOT MY TYPE. I probably have this pile cos I actually don’t know how this is a blocc but okay 🤷🏾‍♀️ you’re too picky, I think most of these people picking this pile got some kind of earth mainly Virgo placement, or you get the ICK real quicc. I am seeing that you may think only “ugly, or bleh people” hit you up or approach you but your missing out on good romantic opportunities and moments because you reject people to quicc or don’t give them chances in beating high standards which I adore! never settle Frfr, your guides are saying the same shit but they want you to be more open so maybe the person don’t have to checc off all the boxes on your list to get a chance with you, be more OPEN to different types of people, your romantic interest maybe someone you consider “NOT YOUR TYPE”. (🙄 I hate that shit to real shit cos if that don’t worc out then you’ll be even more upset cos you don’t even usually date mfs like that or whatever the case is you know, but I digress). Your next card is NOT BEING YOU. Your guides feel like you’re not showing the real you. There’s a Chris Rocc joke coming into my head, when he says when you date someone or meet someone you’re not meeting them you’re meeting their representative. This is the vibe. Some of you are shy, I think you hold bacc out of fear of judgement, or again for some of you it’s deadass lack of self and it’s bloccin you from attracting romantic love, honestly you should wanna be with someone you can be your true authentic self with and if you don’t know who that is yet than the focus shouldn’t be on romantic love it should be on SELF LOVE! You’re trying to portray perfection and this is again giving me VIRGO vibes, I’m not seeing this as you fake for some of you it’s lacc of self knowledge, but for the most of you guys it’s fear of judgement in hearing “looking weak???” You don’t like anyone seeing you vulnerable or having low moments you want to always be Beyoncé I woke up like this flawless, but hunny, the flawlessness comes from the flaws, perfection IS imperfection, what’s “wrong” about you, is what makes you right so be you always, regardless of the vibe high or low be you show you, loudly! Take the mask off and I’m hearing porcelain skin?? Don’t trip on appearing perfect, just be yourself or for some of you focus on figuring out who that is! Your last card is NEED RESCUING. This again is giving me the vibe of the previous card of not knowing yourself, or atleast trying to portray perfection. You don’t have to be perfect to find love you don’t need to sit around and pray that it falls into your lap, if you want love GO LOOK FOR IT! If you like someone shoot your shot, make your move, they feel like you’re waiting around for love to save you and they only feel you’re way more powerful than that, you go look for what you want and you don’t have to approach you can just put yourself out there, show the world that you’re ready for love.

Pile II

Aww my overly romantic pile I’m feeling. Your bottom of the Decc card is Love’s The Answer. So for you guys what’s bloccin you guys from romantic love is that you think it’s the answer for everything, I think you feel if you have a partner, Spouse, even a sneaky link you’ll feel complete, there’s only dependence in you at this time and you need to focus and work on being independent and self reliant cos SELF LOVE is the answer and the Only Answer at this time!! Your guides are reminding you that love won’t solve ALL your problems, I feel you’ll meet someone when you’re not looking for it, when YOU ARE IN YOUR ELEMENT! You honestly don’t need anyone but yourself to feel whole and complete, love isn’t the answer to the problems right now you want romantic love first then love yourself with all you got, you deserve too! show the world how to treat you by treating yourself that way! I also think right now ROMANCE isn’t in the cards for you, I think you need to be working on your independence right now, a glow up is in the cards for you and that’s sort of bloccin you from love overall I think. Your first card is Unavailable. Are you only interested in people who seem to not want a relationship right now, or that is taken themselves? I’m seeing one of the things bloccin you from romantic love is that you re only chasing people that are unavailable in some way shape or form. The funny thing is SOME OF YOU ARE THE UNAVAILABLE ONES! Some of you run away from romantic opportunities that come your way, someone can be flirting with you and you’ll find some way to push them away or run away, do you ghost people? I feel like you chase unavailable because you lowkey want it to fail, I just feel like you self sabotage yourself, you’re bloccin your own way to romance. Your next card is Too Hard. Your mind is your biggest enemy when it comes to love, I feel like you have a lot of fear when it comes to love and I’m hearing that’s it’s something about your childhood, love was hard or you seeen that those around you made it hella hard so you maybe have a mindset that love is hard or has to be to work & nah!!! Your guides want you to know that love doesn’t have to be hard to have or to find, you just have to truly allow it to flow into your life and allow the vibe to be! Just flow and glow that’s what I’m hearing, just keep swimming, just keep swimming! I’m hearing dory! Your guides don’t want you to give up but they do want you to focus on your independence cos I’m seeing that your mentality about romance needs to be unlearned and that’s where you need to work on your independence because I feel that’s going to ease your mind & heart, it’ll help love flow into your life naturally and easily I think you’re overthinking and overwhelmed about love but I honestly don’t think you know what you want in a relationship. Your guides say you just do you and the rest will follow. Your last card is, Being Needy. You have the mentality of I need it I need it I need it this to me is an iteration of the bottom card, you don’t need love to feel whole! also I feel like you may also be super needy in a relationship, hence why working on your independence is key for you to find love! It’s hella fuccin KEY 🔑! Don’t worry about finding it you’ve got some success made just for you! It’s time for you to have your spotlight, figure out what you need for you and I feel like they said (Your guides) the rest will follow! Hang out with friends and appreciate the NON romantic relationships that you have, take some pressure off your own mind and the thoughts of romance. 💘 you need a break I’m seeing, you blocc yourself from romance because your mind doesn’t recognize it so you run away, focus on you, love will knocc you off your feet literally I’m seeing that!

Pile III

This is my shy pile, nonchalant, detached emotional babies. Your bottom of the Decc card is Hiding Feelings. Ok my babies you blocc romance by not being upfront and open about your feelings, you may lead the ones you like or that like you to feel you don’t like them bacc. You may also be scared of rejection so you hide your emotions from the ones you’re interested in, but your guides are pushing you to open up about how you feel and deal with the feelings of them regardless if they like you bacc or not, I feel like hiding in the shadows won’t bring you love and it won’t make the ones you want want you, I’m hearing you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, so I’m feeling like you need to be brave. Your first card is Fear Of Loss. Again p3 you’re afraid of getting hurt so it’s like you’d rather not even waste your time even attempting to try, I feel the same way about this but you have got to understand that you’re gonna get hurt and not every swing is gonna be a hit you know. You are being urged to take a chance to take that risk, you are ready, you maybe talking to someone or there’s someone in your life you may like, you’re afraid of being abandoned which I get but that’s bloccin you from finding romantic love. Abandonment issues are huge in this pile. This gives me 8oC energy for some reason. Your Next Card is Insecurities. This shit is all put together and in your face this reading may be the shortest, I feel your insecurities and how you see yourself is bloccin you from love, there’s a lot of fear surrounding love this makes me feel like a lot of you been alone for a while or have never been in a relationship before (me either) hmm this may be my pile. I feel like again you may feel like someone may leave you or deny you if they see you so you’d rather be alone or just hide your emotions but I feel you’re so loveable and anyone who is for you will love ALL OF YOU! you need to work on building your confidence up, so that you can feel safe and secure in your relationship because I feel you’ll end it or push them away because of this you shouldn’t deny the other person a gem like you because of the chance that it MAY NOT WORK, even if it doesn’t that one relationship isn’t the end, you don’t ever have to hide your heart and soul cos that’s your compass to romantic love as well, work on your confidence and your shine will be a beacon for romantic love. You’re a runner for sure, that makes you feel uneasy, settling down or staying grounded and it can be because you’re not used to it or it never lasts but you’ll find some permanent ground with another cos I feel this is one of the only piles that has mastered INDEPENDENCE! You can be alone! Now we have to get you to be interdependent leaning on others as well as relying on yourself. We get it, you got you! I feel like you’re the type to be like nobody got me like I got me, I’ll never betray me or leave me, I feel you’ve had mo choice but to depend on you so you’re kind of stucc in your ways. Your last card is Body Shame. Again!!! Insecurities coming out, I feel like it’s both sides whether you feel you’re too big, too small, too fit, not fit enough, you don’t see yourself as beautiful or as handsome as you are and maybe you were bullied this is why I feel like this is my shy reserved babies you’ve been in the shadows you’re the baddies that work in the library nobody notices cos you got glasses on. You need to embrace who you are and be more confident in you, if they like you bacc lucky them they won, if they don’t fucc em they lost and you need to gain that mentality cos I know we all know you gon be alright on your own hunny don’t nobody got to even worry about that but that’s lowkey bloccin you from love. You feel unattractive atleast to the ones you want you need to accept yourself, ALL OF YOU! You’re perfection don’t forget that p3 don’t mf forget that!

ALRIGHTY TIGHTY BABIES IMMA NEED YOU GUYS TO GET YOUR INTUITION UP AND RUNNING FOR ME, imma pull a card for myself and give myself a reading on the same topic since im single too!!!

2 cards came out bacc to bacc so imma just flow with it, the bottom of the decc for me is Past Trauma. There’s some hurt from my past that I feel is bloccin me from romantic love cos there’s a part of me that can’t see past it, regardless if it’s a relationship trauma or something else there’s some pain there that’s keeping my heart closed from romantic love and I just may feel like it’s not worth it, or attempting to try. I need to definitely take time for me and heal my trauma before moving forward and thinking about romantic love. My first card is TOO MUCH. I feel like I’m too open, and in that sense maybe too allowing of my energy and that can invite some negative energies in, now I’m not gonna say being too honest is a problem but there’s some things I need to hold bacc and keep to myself, I tell others too much about me, all at once, it’s like this is who I am take it or leave it and my guides are like before I give my all makes sure they are worth it kicc bacc and allow them to show who they are before giving them all of me. The final card is Holding On. Again this is a reiteration of the BOD card, there’s some shit that I’m holding on too and I’m hearing it’s out of paranoia, you got me once you’ll never get me again mentality and it’s like not everyone is out to get me or hurt me or something negative and I need to allow myself to let go. Also I can be holding onto someone that need to go in my life cos this card is about starting over with someone new after cutting old ties, which is making me feel like I need to cut my old patterns and ways of thinking but again due to past trauma I need to take some time out to heal and focus on releasing things, people, and feelings that serve no more purpose.

Let me know what you think in the comments.

I hope you guys enjoyed the reading and that it resonated for you guys, 😘😘😘😘😘

[free-for-all-fics]

So I binge watched Squid Game season 2 a couple days ago and the brainrot is back in full force for The Recruiter and The Front Man. So here’s some more Squid Game prompts! Warning: These prompts are centered around Season 2 and contain spoilers! Pls tag me if you’re inspired by any of these and I’d love to read it! 🔴🔺🟥

1. You knew The Recruiter when he was younger, back before he worked in the games and was removing and burning up the bodies of countless people. He was like the game players and homeless people at one point in his life, having hit rock bottom. His actions in the park are an expression of self-hatred and an attempt to set himself apart from them. The Recruiter has nothing but contempt to people who choose the lottery and is more than happy to stomp the bread just to spite them, but he happens to at least approve the people who pick the bread.

“These things aren’t human. They’re just trash, uterrly useless in this world.” He kept telling himself that and worked hard for a few years. Then they gave him a gun. It felt pretty good. Like his existence was acknowledged for the first time in his life. He doesn’t know which year it was but one day he was about to shoot a man who had lost a game. The guy seemed familiar. His dad. His dad was suddenly standing right in front of him. He was in tears, desperately begging him to spare his life. He shot him right in the middle of his forehead, and realized, “Ah. I’m cut out for this job.”

He had absolutely no qualms about shooting his own father dead. He even admits that when he killed his father in the games, he realized he was totally the type for his job, mentioning no remorse or guilt. But what if him shooting his own father proved his loyalty to the people he worked for and so they rewarded him by making him a recruiter and letting him keep you, the love of his life or object of obsession from his past life in the outside world. Asking the Host and his higher ups for a companion is just one thing, but it’s a big thing, and he’s scared to death that he will never see you again once he asks. Most of the staff are ruthless killers motivated by profit, but out of all of them, The Recruiter is one of the few who seems genuinely psychopathic, his businesslike attitude masking a vicious sadist who revels in humiliation, torture, and murder.

Still, it’s nothing short of a miracle in his mind that he’s allowed to have you. You’re just living your life, but then you get kidnapped and brought to an undisclosed location and while the room you’re in is admittedly very nice, you’re terrified. Turns out your kidnapper is your childhood best friend or college sweetheart who you lost touch with years ago when he went into the games. To you, he ghosted you or went missing and you were never able to find him. His own family hadn’t heard from him and didn’t know where he was. He’d go so far to keep you that he’d fake your death. He spoils you rotten but he also punishes you if you misbehave or act out of line. Treats you like a princess, fucks you like a whore kind of thing. He doesn’t keep around those dog bone shaped gags and possibly even sex toys or buy you nice lingerie and jewelry for nothing. He doesn’t want to break you as you’re his favorite toy, but he’ll do what it takes to properly train you until you learn to accept your place as his lover. His amiable facade comes down and it turns out he's psychotic and it frightens you but a part of him gets off on your fear. You see yourself as a prisoner, but he insists it doesn’t have to be that way if you just relax and love him back and be a good girl. You loved him once, didn’t you? You were his only friend. The only woman he’s ever loved. How hard can it possibly be to love him again? He’s the only one who can protect you and love you now. Everyone else thinks you’re dead.

He’d go so far as to kill anyone who stands in his way of having you, even your significant other if you have one or your family and friends. The Recruiter absolutely enjoys what he does to his victims, especially during the Russian Roulette game. You have no one else to turn to for comfort or conversation besides him. A part of him hates it when you cry but the other part of him is turned on by your tears and the fear in your eyes. He doesn’t have a god complex, more like a death complex. He’s given himself over completely to his philosophy of death. He believes he’s Death incarnated into a man with how people’s lives are in his hands, and that includes yours. And aren’t there so many famous artworks of Death and His Maiden? Why shouldn’t he be able to keep you as his?

If he was your first ever sexual partner, he’d make for damn sure he’s the only one through silently and stealthily arranging for your other potential partners to die in tragic “accidents” or go missing with their bodies never found. Just like he’s dedicated himself to the games, he’s dedicated himself to proving he’s worthy of you everyday by protecting you and giving you everything you ask for - except real freedom, of course. He can only give you semblances of freedom by allowing you outside under heavy guard watch or his watch. You can’t go anywhere alone anymore. You can’t have a cell phone that connects to the internet (or if you are allowed the internet, you’re only given access to certain websites while the rest are blocked) or any phone numbers except his. He’s practically isolated you.

2. Going off the idea of what if you knew The Recruiter back when he was younger and working in the games: Alongside him, you’re also a pink guard. You’re one of, if not the only female guard. The Recruiter is the first to find out that you’re a woman despite the mask covering your face, the voice modulator, and the suit covering your body. You spend a lot of time together when you have to shoot the eliminated players and then remove and burn the bodies. You use a separate channel on your walkie-talkies to have private conversations while you’re on a job during the games or to talk from your separate dorms after the day’s work is done. When other male guards try to attack or sexually assault you in your room for getting in the way of their illegal organ harvesting side hustle due to you shooting the bodies in the heart or head to ensure the players die quickly and make the organs unusable, he comes to your rescue when he hears the struggle over the walkie when you manage to press the button. He practically breaks your door down and takes the guards out with his bare hands or a random object in your room. He’s so strong and skilled he doesn’t even need to use a gun or a knife (in the show he subdued two men just with his briefcase). You watch as he subdues both guards, knocking them out with ease. He would’ve loved to kill them in that moment, but he doesn’t have the right to do that. He can only report the incident to the Captain/In-Ho. Pink guards cannot kill other pink guards. They’re only permitted to kill players. Only the Captain can kill pink guards.

After interrogating them and reviewing the security footage, In-ho kills the guards who attacked you and puts an end to the organ harvesting for that year by killing all of the guards operating it. Whether they sell off organs from the dead or devour them, he doesn’t give a damn. However, the most crucial element of this place is equality. Everyone is equal in these games, including guards. Players compete in a fair game under the same conditions. Guards work under the same conditions. They are to follow the instructions they are given. There is a principle to these games. And those guards that attacked you for being a woman and doing your job and the guards operating the organ harvesting side hustle broke that principle.

Later, after work is done for the day and guards are ordered to return to their rooms, The Recruiter sneaks into yours so that the two of you can have sex. When he saw you getting attacked, he wanted more than anything to rush to your side and comfort you and hold your hand and ride his adrenaline-filled high by having sex with you after subduing the guards, but duty called so he couldn’t. When In-ho is overlooking the security cameras and notices The Recruiter in your room instead of his own with both of your masks off, locked in a heavy make out session while he has you lifted in his arms, your legs wrapped around his waist and your arms wrapped around his neck, your fingers tangling in and pulling his hair while his hands cup under your thighs to hold you up against the wall, your pink jumpsuits half way unzipped, he changes the cameras to play back earlier footage of both you and him so that it looks like you’re alone in your rooms so his higher ups won’t suspect anything while you inevitably do whatever it is you want to do. The Recruiter and you have proven your loyalty. You both deserve a reward. As long as you’re both back in your own rooms by morning call, he doesn’t care.

After that, The Recruiter shoots his own father dead after he fails a game. You and he work your way up to becoming the recruiters you are now, possibly even posing as a friendly married couple to get vulnerable people to trust you more (even better if you’re actually married as it makes the ruse more convincing). You do love each other in your own way, but you also are well aware that love makes people incredibly easy to manipulate and you use that to your advantage in your line of work. Together you prey on people who are hanging by a thread and are the best performing recruiters the games have ever had. In the privacy of your home, you listen to opera music, share drinks, and get down to all kinds of kinky shit when you find yourselves in the mood. You take turns when it comes to who’s dominant and who’s submissive, and your sex games often include bondage, roleplay, pain, and blood. And sometimes the blood isn’t even yours or his. When people get nosy for their too damn good, you and/or he have to take care of that.

3. Underneath the smiling facade, The Recruiter is little more than a small fry. When Gi-hun repeatedly calls him a lapdog and considers him nothing compared to whoever he works for, it gets under his skin, although he doesn't have a complete breakdown over it. Getting reminded of this repeatedly is part of why The Recruiter eventually shoots himself in the chin. But let’s pretend The Recruiter doesn’t commit suicide. Instead of being strictly dominant or strictly submissive, this man is a switch. While he loves to be in control sometimes and use your body however he wants, there’s also times when it’s you who’s the dominant one. You dress up and behave as a dominatrix while you put a mask over his face to blindfold him, gag him with the bone shaped gags and tie him up, doing to him whatever you want and calling him your dog. Your good boy. He runs, barks, wags his tail, does whatever you, his mistress, says and you reward him with praise, treats, etc. You do the same thing when it’s his turn to be the master and for you to be his good girl, his bitch. This man would probably be into puppy play whether it’s you who’s the puppy or him. And yeah that would probably include either of you being locked in a human sized cage or an actual dog kennel as punishment for whenever you misbehave. You’d take turns between who’s holding the leash and who’s on it on all fours, etc. The sex acts you do together, this dominatrix and roleplay arrangement you have, it’s like therapy for him in a way. A way for him to reclaim being called a dog when he was young and poor and turning it into something good. Even if it’s dehumanizing at times. The humiliation and the sadism is part of what turns you both on. Of course you’d have a safe word, aftercare, and all of that. But let’s be real: He’s just as skilled as you are at taking orders, deepthroating objects, and being penetrated.

4. Inspired by the film “The Odds”: You join an underground game of pain endurance, hoping to win the cash prize of one billion won. But it’s not the traditional squid games where you’re competing with other players in person. This is something different. This is the squid games before the squid games became what it is today. Instead, you’re isolated in a windowless room with little more than a table, a couple of chairs, a cot to sleep in and a toilet to shit in. It’s like a prison almost. Whenever you’re given a shower, if ever, you’re heavily sedated so you don’t lash out against the workers bathing you. The Recruiter is one of many who are assigned to players to keep them company, explain the rules of each game, and oversee their progress. Each player has their own recruiter assigned to them and The Recruiter we’re familiar with in the show is the one assigned to you. You have nobody else but him to keep you company. You don’t ever see anyone, don’t ever hear anyone except for him. He looks awfully familiar and you have a strong feeling you’ve met him before, that you know him from somewhere. Throughout the course of the week that you’re there, you’re determined to figure out how you know him. In the meantime, you flirt with each other, playfully talk about getting married and having a house and kids when you get out.

But at some point during the course of the games, the playfulness erodes and The Recruiter turns dead serious, revealing that he’s so in love with you that it’s like an unhinged obsession. Maybe you choosing to come here was in actuality you being lured into a trap, all a part of his elaborate plan to finally get you right where he wants you to fulfill his sick and twisted romantic and sexual fantasies. Maybe before that, he paid sex workers and strangers who looked like you to sleep with him, just to keep him satiated so he wouldn’t snap and kidnap you before the time was right. He might’ve gone so far as to call them by your name and become really scary real fast if they tried to correct him. The things he did to those women might’ve been so bad that they were unspeakable. But he paid good hush money to keep them quiet. And if that didn’t work, a bullet always did. But sleeping with all those women could never live up to the real thing. Nobody watching you now would be able to hear you nor would they care if he had sex with you in between games. He’s done it before with desperate female players who wanted to stay alive a little longer. And if they performed sexual favors for him as he asked - more like ordered them to do - Who is he to deny pretty women an extra five minutes of being allowed to breathe before he pulls the trigger? A deal is a deal and he’s a businessman.

He’s a man of do the wrong thing, yield rewards. To him, he’d feel like he’s entitled to your love and your body after all he went through in his life to get to this point. He’s worked his way up from a nobody who just disposed of and burned bodies, then they gave him a gun, then he became a recruiter. One of the best if not the best in the company. He’d kill for you. Even if you don’t ask him to. Even if you plead with him not to do anything and let it go. But he’s also so unhinged he might even hurt or kill you if you fail to live up to his deluded fantasies. If he does hurt you, he’d do the classic, “Look what you made me do! I didn’t want to have to do that. I didn’t want to hurt you but you gave me no choice so this is all your fault and not mine,” shtick.

You soon discover the game's rigged, and your real opponent is The Recruiter - a sadistic psychopath, who works for the Host and the organizers of the game and knows everything about you. He knows why you’re here and about your child, bringing them up to keep you motivated to continue before you ever mention them to him. He’s just one of many of a network of people ranging from VIPs to guards who are part of this game. The way you see it, you have three choices: Provoke The Recruiter into killing you if you don’t die from the games before then, give into The Recruiter’s sexual advances to survive without playing all of the games and join him, becoming his lover/wife and possibly a Recruiter yourself, or survive through all of the games and kill The Recruiter. He keeps saying you can leave at any point but you realize over time that this is a lie and if you try to leave, you’ll be shot dead either by him or one of the guards.

(Below is some dialogue from the movie with some minor changes to showcase how Recruiter coded this scenario is.)

~

“So, yes, it is necessary to keep the location a secret due to the legal technicalities of the game. You know the rules, right?”

“Yup, but you can tell me again, Mr...”

“No names. It works better for me if we keep things less personal, you know?”

“Right. Kind of like a manager-employee relationship. I get it.”

“If you like. Anyway, the game, there are 19 other players at 19 other locations just like this.”

“In this city?”

“All over the country. There's a clearing house that receives and broadcasts the signal to select clientele. The same clearing house acts as a broker for all wages concerning the game.” He puts in his earpiece and presses a button. “Receiving end, online? Okay. Yeah, just a couple minutes, we'll get started.” He sits across from you at the table.

“Have you done this a lot?”

“A few times, yeah. There are five preliminary rounds followed by the finalist round. If you leave at any point during the preliminary rounds, you will leave with zero prize money.”

“I won't quit.”

“All players who get to the finalist round are committed to the game and may not leave.”

“I said I won't quit.”

“Okay. Now, the finalists will continue to play until there's only one player left. That winner will receive the money.”

“Have you ever hosted a winner?”

“Let's not worry about that. You just stay focused.”

“It's weird that people would bet on something like this.”

“Do you know any real gamblers? Real gamblers will make odds on anything.”

“And the prize money, it's a lot?”

“Some people think so.”

“I heard it was a billion won.”

“Where'd you hear that?”

“Same place I heard about the game.”

“Hm. That's correct, and the funds will be deposited in the winner's account.”

“They must pay you a lot. That's why you're here, right?”

“I'm here for the same reason as you.”

“I doubt that.”

“Now it's almost time.” He takes a candle out of his briefcase and sets it on the table.

“I thought there was gonna be a gun.”

“Not yet.”

“Have I met you before?”

He listens to his device. “Congratulations, your drug test came back clean.”

“Of course it did.”

“I'm sorry, we have to check. Some players come in high, performance enhancing drugs, so to speak.”

“Well, drugs are where you go when you can't stand the pain anymore.”

“Where do you go, if you don't have drugs?”

“I guess we'll find out.”

He listens to his device. “Hm. Yes? We're good. You're good? Okay, standing by.”

“I know that they can see us, but can they...”

“Hear us? No. Say what you want. Your secrets are safe with me.”

“I don't have any secrets.”

“Everyone has secrets.”

“No, all my shit's pretty much out in the open.”

“All the shit you know about.”

“I think I know my shit pretty well.”

“This game has a way of illuminating a person.” He lights the candle.

“Oh, that's nice. You gonna put on some mood music? I'll take the Chardonnay.”

“So here's what's gonna happen, round one, on my signal, you, along with 19 other players, will hold your hand over the candle and keep it there. When three people have removed their hand, the round is over. Those players are out of the game. Everyone else will advance to the next round. Understand? Hello?”

“Yeah, I just... I heard it was different.”

“Used to be. They like to change things up, keep it exciting. You don't have to do this. It's still not too late to leave.”

“I've got nowhere else to be.”

“How about a home?”

“I messed that up.”

“You must have family somewhere. Everyone has family.”

“Do you?”

“Yeah. Sure.”

“Kids?”

“No.”

“But if you did, how would you feel if someone took him or her away from you?”

“I guess I wouldn't like it.”

“And how would you feel knowing that he or she should've been taken away from you...that she...he, was better off...and that maybe now the only thing to do is to win a big pile of money so that he or she could have the kind of life that he or she deserves?”

“Hm. I don't think I'd ever risk my life over a pile of money.”

“Well, that's all mine's good for at this point.”

“Hey, listen. Look at me. We're in this together, you and me. I'm rooting for you, you understand? So just settle in. We'll do this. Word of advice, this is as much a mental game as anything else, so just keep that in mind if you really want to see this through to the end.”

“I'm gonna hear the words ‘you win’, or I'm not gonna hear anything at all.”

“That's it. Visualize success, that's good.”

“You say that to all your players?”

“Just the ones that seem to need it.”

“Have you ever played, from my side?”

“Let's get through round one, then we'll talk. We're about to begin. Last chance before the pain starts.”

“The pain started a long time ago.”

~

Round One

You hold your hand over the candle, while The Recruiter encourages you the whole time.

“That's it. Keep going. You can do this. Come on. Just breathe. Focus on breathing. You can do this. Come on. Just breathe. Okay, focus on breathing. Focus on breathing. Another player's out. Just one more player. Just one more player has to quit. Number three's out! You made it. You did it. Let me see. Come on.” He takes out a first aid kit from his briefcase and treats your wound. “So, we made a deal, and no, I haven't played the game from your side of the table.”

“How many?”

“How many what?”

“How many times have you done this?”

“14.”

“And how many of those players won?”

“You don't want to know.” A long pause before he finally answers, “None of them. Most players quit before the final round.”

“But some of them made it.”

“I've seen two men and three women blow their brains out.”

“You're just a little bad luck charm, aren't you? Did you ask the other players why they did it?”

“Same reason as you, the money.”

“Same reason as everyone I'm playing against now?”

“I wouldn't worry about the other players.”

“I just want to know who my competition is.”

“Most games, you're competing against someone, right? But in this game, you can't affect the other players. Can they make you leave this room? Who can?”

“You could try.”

“Okay, take me out. Who does that leave? That's right, you. And that's what they're betting on, how much you can take.”

“I'll take whatever you throw at me.”

“It won't be me throwing it at you.”

“So there is someone else here.”

“I'm a facilitator. The challenges for each round, they've been chosen by the organizers.”

“So it's not you. You're just doing their dirty work for them.”

“I didn't make you come here. I didn't make you sit there. I didn't force you to put your hand over a candle. You think I enjoy watching you do this? You think I like watching people hurt themselves? Man. Things I've seen, you don't forget it, you know?”

“Then why do you keep doing it?”

“You've never done something you knew wasn't good for you? Sit down. We're on the same side. That's the thing about this game, it...” He’s interrupted by information coming through his earpiece. “Round two, ready.”

“The thing about this game?”

“What?”

“You were just about to say ‘the thing about this game.’”

“The thing about this game is that it changes you.”

“Good?”

“I don't know how good it's been for me.”

“Maybe you've been playing from the wrong side of the table. Are you sure we haven't met before?”

“It's time.”

~

Round Two

“Round two. Players will put their bare right foot inside the box. The three that remove their feet lose. The rest move onto the next round.”

“And there's something in the box?”

“Yes.”

“And you don't know what it is?”

“No.”

Something from inside the box moves and makes a noise, causing you to jump.

“Hey, hey. It's okay.”

“What's in there?”

“I don't know.”

“That's bullshit.”

“They don't tell us.”

“You said that you have done this before.”

“It's different every time. It's probably not as bad as you think.”

“Fuck it, I'm out of here.”

“Now wait. What about your child?”

“Why do you care? You get paid anyway, I assume.”

He removes his ear piece so the organizers won’t hear what he says to you next. “Are you afraid of rats?”

“What?”

“Are you afraid of rats?” He puts his earpiece back in. “You need to decide, soon. One player just dropped out. That just leaves two for elimination.”

“This is insane.” You remove your shoe and sock. “So it's just in there waiting for me to put my foot in?”

“There's a separation barrier. When I get the signal, I remove it.”

“How fun for you.”

“I'm right here with you.”

“That's a comfort.”

“No, I mean it, okay? I'll help you.”

“You better.”

“It's almost time.”

“I must be crazy.”

You put your foot in the box.

“You got this.”

“I got this.”

“I mean, nothing's gonna happen. Oh, god, it's moving. It keeps moving.”

“Breathe. Mm-hm.”

“It's touching me, it's touching me. It's on me. It's off, it's off, it's off. Oh, fuck!”

“Think something else, okay? Don't think about this.”

“Oh, God, ow, ow, ow! It's back on me.”

“Think of something else. Okay, think of something else, don't think about this.”

“Oh, shit. I can't do this.”

“You can, yes, you can.”

“Ow, it's biting me! It's biting me.”

“No, it's not... One player's out, okay? That just leaves one more left.”

“Ow! Ow, it's eating me!”

“Look at me, look at me! I'm right here with you. Do it for me. Say it. Say it!”

“Do it for you. Do it for you.”

“Good. Again.”

“Do it for you.”

“Good. Again.”

“Do it for you. Do it for you. Do it for you. Do it for you. Do it for you. Do it for you. Do it for you.”

“That's it! It's over. It's over.”

You remove your bleeding foot from the box and cry in The Recruiter’s arms as he holds you.

~

He’s wrapping your foot with fresh white gauze. “Don't look. Okay.” He kisses your bandaged foot. “I kissed your boo-boo.”

You have some time to kill while you and he wait for the next game. He gives you a bottle of water. You need to stay hydrated. Lots of water.

“Gonna figure out where I know you from.”

“Well, good luck. Okay, let's say you don't quit.”

“I won't.”

“Right, you won't. Let's say you make it. You've already told me what you're gonna do for your child. What are you gonna do for you? If you really think you're gonna make it through, you should have a plan.”

“Yeah, well, I'm not really big on plans.”

“No, seriously, instead of giving your child the money, why don't you take them somewhere instead? Find a nice quiet place, bring along their daddy.”

“You had me going till you mentioned that asshole.”

“Okay, not him, a nice guy.”

“Why is it that everyone thinks that if a woman has problems, a man is somehow the answer?”

“You don't believe in love?”

“Maybe some people just aren't meant for it. Maybe they're just not built...for it.”

“Maybe some people haven't met the right guy.”

“And that's you? From bad luck charm to Mr. Right?”

“You could do worse.”

“Okay. All right. So say it is you, Prince Charming, man of my dreams, we're living together.”

“Mm-hm, married.”

“Really?”

“I don't do that cohabitation shit. You either commit or you get out.”

“And that's you? Mr. Commitment?”

“Damn straight.”

“So, is this a proposal?”

“I guess it is.”

“Well, either it is or it isn't.”

“It is.”

“Sweep me up my feet, why don't you?”

“You don't find this place romantic? So, we're in our home...”

“I didn't say yes.”

“You playing hard to get?”

“No. Yes. Maybe. A little. I mean, come on, we just started dating. How do I know you're not just marrying me for my money?”

“What if I don't need your money? What if I already have money?”

“Great, then let's get outta here. I don't have to do this anymore.”

“Well, then again, maybe I don't have that much money.”

“Okay, so, no money. Why should I say yes?”

“Because, deep down inside, you believe in love too. So, what's it gonna be?”

“How about we get through the next round, then I'll tell you.”

“You are playing hard to get. Ready for round three.”

~

Round Three

“What the fuck is it? Or should I ask what goes in it?”

“Your other foot. We go till three players drop out. You can do this.”

“Have you ever done this one before?”

“No. This is new territory for me. They're telling me we need to get ready.”

“Should I sit or stand?”

“Whatever you prefer. We're ready.”

“I don't suppose anybody's dropped out yet. Just wait.”

“Okay. Round three, turn one. I'm sorry.”

“That feels as bad as it looks.”

“All players are still in. Second turn. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Do it for me, remember?”

“Wait, wait for me. Wait.”

“Turn number three.”

You pass out from the pain. You wake up to his voice.

“Player three has quit.”

~

He wraps up your other foot. “There. All better.”

“You’re pretty good at that.”

“One of my many talents.”

“Nine players are out by my count.”

“You're knocking them down. So...what about the answer now?”

“The answer to what?”

“Are we gonna do it, when all this is over? Are we gonna tie the knot?”

“Sure.”

“Well, then. Well, then how about a kiss for your fiancé?”

He kisses you. While he does, he slips a pill into your hand. “It's for the pain. Don't let them see,” he whispers into your ear. “Well, passed the halfway point.”

“Yeah, after this, marriage should be easy.”

“Yeah. Maybe every couple should go through something like this.”

“It's a great story to tell the grandkids.”

“Grandkids? We haven't even gone on the honeymoon.”

“Please, honeymoon.”

“Why not? Must be somewhere you want to go. Vegas, Paris, Costa Rica?”

“Not really.”

“Come on, nothing? Nothing interests you? And afterwards, when we get back to our apartment in the city...”

“In our house in the country.”

“Country's boring.”

“Can't have horses in the city.”

“Horses? More than one?”

“You can't have just one horse.”

“I'm not shoveling horse shit.”

“Fine, I want a divorce.”

“On what grounds?”

“Irreconcilable differences.”

“Okay, fine. A house in the country with horses.”

“Wow, what a pushover.”

“What can I say? I'm in love.”

You lay down on the ground with him, side by side, staring up at the ceiling.

His hands are behind his head. “You know, you can rest in that house in the woods.”

“Then I'd sleep for a week.”

“And after you wake up?”

“I don't know, maybe plant a garden.”

“What do you know about gardens?”

“As much as I know about anything else, I guess.”

“You think you could keep a bunch of plants alive?”

“What about you, mister? You're just gonna live off my money?”

He sits up. “There's lots of stuff I can do.” He gets up off the ground.

“I didn't mean anything by it.”

“I know what you meant.”

“Come on, I was just joking.”

“Sounded like an insult.”

“Why would I insult you? You're the only friend that I have.”

“That's true. Standing by.”

“God, can't they just give it a minute?”

“I know, like, what are they in a hurry for? They'll make their money.”

“Have you met them, the people running this?”

“A couple. They're not like what you think.”

“I think they're a bunch of weirdos who get off watching sick shit.”

“That's not it, at all. They're more like researchers of human behavior, and this is the ultimate laboratory.”

“Come on.”

“No, seriously, how do you think they have the money to fund an operation like this? They get to bet on human behavior every day, and win. Of course they'd be interested in a game like this.”

“We're just pawns to them. I doubt they even see us as people at all.”

“But it doesn't really matter what they think though, does it? And anyway, you should be grateful they've even given you this opportunity. If you weren't here, where would you be?” He sits on the table and slides his body over to you. “On the street, in a crack house sucking dick for a fix until your looks rot away and your teeth fall out? Where would your child be? In a group home getting daily beat downs from all the other toss aways with fuck-ups for parents. You know, you should be thanking the people who created this game, and you should be thanking me. This is the best opportunity for someone who screwed up all their other options.”

“Well, I'll be sure to send them thank you notes later.”

He suddenly smiles. “Look at that, our first fight. Come on, I was just playing. Let's get back to our house.”

“Maybe later.”

“Time’s up.”

~

Round Four

“How long can you hold your breath? It's a simple question, really. How long can you hold your breath?”

“I don't know.”

“Round four is easy. You just have to hold your breath.”

“I just have to hold my breath?”

“Yeah, well, that is while I'm holding your head underwater. You don't have a fear of drowning, do you? Hydrophobia, I think it's called. 'Cause if you did, this will be pretty tough.” He takes a bullet out of his pocket. “Bite on this. I'm kidding, just hold onto it. Jeez. Here's what's gonna happen, you're gonna face the tank, and when the time comes, I'm gonna hold your head under the water. You... You hold your arm out. If you want me to let you up, you just let go of the bullet. See? First three players to let go are out. Everyone else stays. You trust me, right? Well, you should, we're married.”

“I guess.”

“You guess? What do you mean you guess? You wouldn't marry somebody you don't trust, would you? Good. You know, it's good that you trust me 'cause that way you know that when it's time when everyone drops out, I won't just keep your head under the water. Oh. Looks like we have someone afraid of drowning. Our first dropout. You're not gonna drop out, right?”

“Right.”

“Because you want that house in the country, and you trust me, right?”

“Right.”

“Say it.”

“I trust you.”

“And you love me. Say it.”

“I love you.”

“Oh.” He tucks your hair behind your ear. “Whoops. Looks like we got another dropout. Okay, we got to get this thing going before we lose any more. Deep breaths. When the third player quits, I'll let you up. Get ready. On the count of three. One. Two. Three.”

While your head is underwater, you dissociate and experience flashbacks of your life before this, of your child. “I love you.” You hear their voice say. That’s the last thing you see before The Recruiter pulls you back up as you cough and move your wet hair out of your face.

“I thought you were gone! Jesus, why didn't you let go of the bullet?”

“I swallowed it. Only way to make sure that I didn't drop it.”

The Recruiter gives you a towel, admittedly impressed.

~

“You know, with a little effort you could be a very attractive woman.”

“What am I supposed to say to that?”

“Well, when someone compliments you, it's polite to thank 'em.”

“Thank you.”

“How many guys have you dated?”

“How's that any of your business?”

“Well, if we're gonna be married, it's something a husband should know. Come on.”

“Come on, what?”

“How many?”

“I don't know.”

“That many?”

“Do you want to know how many I've dated, or how many I've fucked? Because I didn't keep count, but it was a lot. And sometimes I didn't even know their names.”

“Now why do I get the feeling that you're saying this just to hurt me?”

“You're sick in the head.”

“I bet you were a real looker. I bet the boys couldn't keep their hands off you. Hey, how old were you when you did it the first time? Sweet 16, 15? Yeah. You were an early bloomer.” He cups your breast and you instinctively slap him. He slaps you back, harder. “I'm sorry, but you should not have made me do that.”

“You know, you can't do whatever the fuck you want.”

“Come on, don't be like that. Let's get back to how it was before. And, you know, to tell you the truth, I've been wanting to do that for a while now.”

“You can't do whatever it is that you want.”

“Who are you kidding? Like you didn't want me to.”

“What?”

“Look, if you didn't want me to do that, why are you still here? You could've left at any time.”

“I’m here for the game, that's all.”

“Maybe this is part of it. You ever think about that?”

“No.”

“No? Well, of course it is. Why else would you be here?”

“For my child.”

“No!” He slams his hand on the table. “Don't give me that shit. No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We alone walk the path. The Buddha said that. He was a smart guy, everyone says so. You put yourself here. You decided to stay 'cause you know that we belong together.”

“I didn't ask for any of this.”

“Why else are you here? Look, you could've gone any time. There's the door. It's always been there. Go on. Go on if this is so wrong. Nobody's stopping you. You won't go, because you know you belong here. You deserve this. Your whole life has been a long, long path that's led you to me.” He grabs your face and forcefully kisses you while you sob. At that moment, a guard walks in with a long bag containing something for the next game, causing him to move away and break the kiss. “We're on a schedule. You might want to reconsider. This might be your last chance.”

“For what?”

“To make love as a whole person. Round five. Here's where you really start to leave some skin in the game, so to speak.” He opens the bag, revealing a red hot branding iron. “It's not that bad, really. The Yakuza, you know the Yakuza, right? Japanese mafia, they do this kind of thing all the time. When they've screwed up, they remove body parts. It’s how they apologize for... Oh, forget it. Just take my word for it, you're not the first, you won't be the last, unless you want to leave. You go through with this, you won't be the same. Some cultures would consider you heavily scarred. Personally, I think you'll be plenty serviceable, but, you know.... If you're afraid of the pain, I can give you another Oxy.”

You take the Oxy that he gave you out of your pocket and set it on the table. He quickly swipes it off the table and puts it in pocket so the organizers don’t see.

“Jesus! Suit yourself. After this round, you'll probably be a freak, probably have a limp, from your legs being burned so much. Who will want to fuck you then?”

“I’m sure as long as I have all my lady parts, any sick fuck like you will.”

He pulls out protective gloves from the bag and puts them on. He takes hold of the branding rod.

“We're ready. Scoot your chair forward and remove your pants.”

You do as instructed, not letting yourself feel embarrassed for being sat half naked in front of him.

~

Round Five

Your ears ring from all the pain you’ve suffered so far. The skin on your thighs is burning still, your once flawless skin now marred with dark patches. Luckily the brand isn’t engraved with anything, but you know The Recruiter still gets a sick joy out of branding you. Like he thinks doing so means he owns you. Still, The Recruiter admits to you that he’s impressed with how many burns you’ve been able to endure so far. Some turns he held the branding iron to your skin longer than others, making the coloration in your skin vary. As the rounds progressed, you moved up from your thighs to one of your arms.

“Well, it's about time now. Turn seven. After this, your wrist will hurt so bad you won't be able to pull the trigger with your left hand. That career in trick shooting, it's out. Go on, get ready. You know, think about it, you don't really use your left arm much anyway. It's a right-handed world, you know?”

You’re whimpering and sobbing from the pain. Despite how difficult it is, you get up from your chair and walk away. You stand in front of the door.

“You're about to lose. You go through that door, all of this would've been for nothing. Is that what you want?”

You knock on the door.

“Wait! Three players have all just dropped out. You made it. Don't do it.”

“I have to pee.”

A masked guard opens the door and escorts you to the bathroom. He’s standing there the whole time, watching you impassively while you wash your hands and have an emotional breakdown in the corner. You stare at yourself in the mirror and gradually calm down, your resolve hardening as you think about your child. You hold a middle finger up in the mirror and pretend you’re giving it to The Recruiter.

~

When you make it back to the room, The Recruiter is sat in a chair, holding your discarded underwear in his hand. At some point during the game, it was too painful to wear them when the fabric brushed against the burns on your upper thighs.

“You mind? I thought I'd hold onto these. You know, something to remind me of our time together. What? Like you're not gonna use 'em. I’ll buy you much nicer lingerie to wear for me when this is over.” He tucks your underwear into his inner suit jacket pocket. “Well, sit if you're gonna. You know, I'll tell you something. I knew from the moment I saw you that you'd go the distance.”

“Is that right?”

“Mm-hm. Damaged people are tough. Fire, temper, steel, and all that.”

“You could tell I was damaged, huh.”

“Honey, you shone like a lighthouse. I wish I could've bet on you.” He gestures to the revolver on the table in between you. “Ever use one of those before? Don't worry, they're pretty user-friendly. You just point and click. If you don't hear the click, you're already dead.”

“Have you been a dick to all the players you've done this with, or am I just special?”

“I mean, they're all special, really, but if it makes you feel any better, you're my favorite.” He winks at you.

It’s finally clicked for you who The Recruiter is. “I knew I'd met you before.”

“No. I’d remember you.”

“I've known you my whole life. See, I watched you get drunk and smash my older sister’s head into the front door when you were dating her. I dropped out of high school when you got jealous of my friends because you thought I was sleeping with them. I lied for you every time the neighbors called the cops because of the noise. I know you, very well.”

“You know, now that you mention it, you do look familiar. You look like every smartass bitch I've ever known. All the teachers who thought they were so clever, thought that they could just push around a kid. All the bitches in school who thought they could just lead a guy on, tease him. Those women at the jobs where they just wiggle their tits and their ass to get ahead of some poor son of a bitch who does the real work, who carries his load and hers too. You look like every stupid cunt who thinks the world should bow down and worship her because she was born with a pussy made of solid gold.”

“Nice. You kiss your mother with that mouth?”

“I don't know what happened. You know, we started out so good. How did we end up like this?”

“I guess it was fate.”

“You think?”

“I think...I think…you know what I think?”

“Tell me.”

“I think that you found the perfect job to indulge in your sick fucked up fantasies.”

He slaps you, causing you to fall out of your chair and back up against the wall.

“You're right.” He slaps you again. “I can do anything I want to right now. You know what's funny? That's what you want me to do. You screwed your life up so bad, you'll take any punishment I dish out ‘cause you know you deserve it.”

“Don't touch me again.”

“I'm not finished.”

“You asshole. You have sat there and watched me do everything that I've done and you think that you can hurt me?!” You slap yourself.

“Oh, that's cute.”

You slap yourself again.

“Stop it.”

You slap yourself again and again and again and again and again. “You fucker. You wouldn't have the guts to do what I've done.”

Angry, he slams the camera face down on the table so the people watching can’t see as he grabs the gun off the table and wraps his arm around your neck, holding you in place and cutting off your oxygen. “You think you're some kind of hard bitch now?! Is this what you want, hard bitch?! You want to play?! Let's play.” He presses the gun to your head and pulls the trigger three times, all blanks as the gun clicks.

“What? What?!”

“You…don't…scare me.” You choke out.

He lets you go, slams the gun back on the table, and puts the camera back up. “That round’s a freebie.” He sits back down and combs his hands through his hair. “If you're gonna stay... It's time.”

You pull the chair back up off the floor and sit back down. “Just out of curiosity, later, if I decide to quit, what's gonna stop me?”

“You take that chair. If you try to leave the game, either me or my compatriots will shoot you dead.”

You sit down and scoot your chair up towards the table, getting ready.

~

Final Round

“There are five players in the final round. This will consist of as many turns as necessary to eliminate four players. All players will pull the trigger simultaneously.” He puts the bullet into the chamber and spins it, then places the revolver back on the table. “Wait for my signal. Take the position, please.”

You put the gun to your head.

“We're ready.”

He nods at you.

You pull the trigger. Blank.

“Thought you'd be disappointed.”

He laughs. “No. I'm glad you make it through the first round. I hope you last a long time. I want to see you break. That'll be fun, to watch you break down completely before you die.” He removes the bullet from the chamber and sets the gun aside. “Just waiting on the report. And one player has been eliminated. Down to you and three others. Relax. We'll give them a minute to place their bets. Is it everything you hoped for?”

“This is the easiest thing I've done all day.”

“Maybe so, but there's another asshole out there somewhere who went through everything you went through and now he's just a pile of meat, brain splattered everywhere. See, you think your pain buys you something, that you earn some kinda big cosmic karma where now you’ll get what you deserve. I got news for you, pain is just pain. It doesn't get you anything.”

“You're wrong.”

“We'll see, when it's your brains that are on the floor. Oh. Time for turn two. You know, if you die here...” he puts the bullet in the chamber and spins it. “…nobody will know. We'll just scoop up your body, throw it to an incinerator. It'll be like you never existed. Nobody will know you were ever here.”

“But I'll be dead, so I won't care.” You put the gun to your head and pull the trigger. Blank.

“Bang!” He yells, making you jump and drop the gun on the table as he laughs. “Oh. Oh, another one down. They're dropping like flies. The odds are catching up with you.”

“Yeah?”

“How many times you think you can beat this?”

“29.”

“That's a very specific number.”

“Well, it's as far as I ever got.”

“When?”

“When I practiced.”

“You practiced?”

“Oh, yeah. Bought a real gun, put an empty shell in the chamber, spun it around. It almost never came up, and I did it a lot.”

“What's the lowest number of times you went before it did come up?”

“3.”

“Hm. Well, just so happens we're coming up on turn number three.” He puts the bullet in the chamber and spins it.

“What part do you enjoy the most, watching all the pain, or this?”

“Darling, I like it all. Take your position, please.”

You take the gun from his hand and put it to your head. You pull the trigger. Blank. You slide the gun across the table at him so fast it nearly falls into his lap as he gasps.

“Why don't you take a turn?”

“Because I don't have to play.”

“That's a shame. I bet if you had to play, you'd see things a little differently.”

“Lucky for me, then, that I don't.”

“Lucky for you. So?”

“So, what?”

“What was the outcome of that round?”

“Oh. Nothing.”

“What?”

“No players were eliminated.” He tells you slowly, like you’re an idiot. “It happens, more often than you might think. Something wrong?”

“No.”

“Really? Because you look like every other dumb prick I've seen blow their brains out.”

“You ever see anybody win?”

“Not a one.”

“Then I'm due. See, it's kinda like the lottery, somebody's got to win.”

“Except when they don’t.”

“Every time you spin that cylinder, there are five chances out of six that that bullet won't come up.”

“That's true. Let's see if now is one of those times.” He puts the bullet in the chamber and spins it. “I think I got you on this one. No, seriously, I feel good about this. Go on. Do you feel it? This is it. Am I right? I think I have you. Come on, take the position. Yeah. This is the one. You ready to say goodbye? Say it. Say goodbye. Say it.”

“Fuck you.”

“Pull the fucking trigger.”

You pull the trigger. Blank.

“No players eliminated.”

“You think they're enjoying this as much as you are?”

“Maybe, probably more. You know, you last as long as you say you will, you're gonna make someone a lot of money.”

“And that's why they're doing this?”

“Sure, I told you, gamblers will bet on anything. This is the best game in town.”

“So they're putting money down on me right now?”

“Even as we speak, they're betting against you. Some are betting for you. They're betting to see how many rounds this will go on, whether we'll have a winner or not.”

“Whether what?”

“Sure, maybe one of these times, all the players are eliminated. It's possible.”

“But the odds of that happening...”

“Are 50/50, either it happens or it doesn't.”

“But that's not how odds work.”

“It's time.” He spins the chamber and sets the gun back on the table. “Pick it up.”

You hold the gun to your head and pull the trigger. Blank. You do it again. And again. And again. And again. You hold the gun to your head and pull the trigger 12 times. All blanks. You set the gun down again. The Recruiter takes the bullet out of the chamber and sets the gun off to the side.

“No players were eliminated. You know what I think? I think your child would be better off with no money and you dead than rich with a crazy bitch like you.”

“No.”

“No?”

“They need me. They need to know what love really is. They need to know what it looks like. They need someone to help them understand that they deserves it.”

“And that someone is you? You just figured this out?”

“Yeah, I did.”

“Well, then this wasn't a total waste.”

“Guess not.”

“You know what I'm gonna do after this?”

“Drown a puppy?”

“I think I'll go find your child. That one got you, didn't it?”

“Tell me, how have you made it this far without someone killing you?”

“Just my luck, I guess. Oh. There's been a change of plans. Seems the longevity of the current players has made the people upstairs change the rules around.” He adds a second bullet. “Now what do your odds look like?”

“It's not fair.”

“All the other players have the exact same challenge.”

“No one said...”

“Said what? You didn't practice for this? I'll be sure to tell your kid you said hi.” He puts the two bullets in the chamber and spins it. “Pick it up. Come on. You know the drill.”

You hold the gun to your head and pull the trigger. Blank.

“How many are left?”

“How many what?”

“Players. Someone has to have been eliminated.”

“Oh, yeah, that. One player was eliminated...as far as you know.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, as far as you know, it's just you and one other player.”

“I don't understand.”

“Then let me explain it to you. All that you know about this game is what I've been telling you, right? So, what if I told you I've been making up these last couple of rounds? What if I told you you've already won? Kinda funny if you think about it. What if you're the only one playing the game?”

“That wouldn't work. How would you bet on that?”

“Maybe the bet's not about who wins the game. Maybe you're the bet and it's simply how many times you'll keep pulling that trigger until you lose. Think about it. How would you know?” He suddenly laughs. “I'm kidding, yeah, of course. One of the other players really was eliminated. That leaves you and one more. And it's that time again.”

“So there really is another player?”

“I was just joking. Jeez, you got to learn how to lighten up. If the player could take their position please?”

“There really is another player?”

“Yes,” he says, highly annoyed.

“Prove it.”

“Hold on a sec. Assume the position!” He orders you.

“Prove that there's another player.”

“That's not how this game works. You got to trust me.”

You put the gun to your head.

“Ready.”

After staring at The Recruiter for a long moment, you remove the gun from your head, an idea coming to you.

“Pull. The. Trigger.”

You stare at him.

“Do it!”

You put the gun to your head and pull the trigger. Blank.

“I've been instructed that if you fail to comply again, you forfeit the game.”

You laugh. “Forfeit?”

He pulls up his shirt, showing the other gun tucked in his pants. “Then I'm instructed to shoot you.”

“Your bosses, money is just their excuse for playing. They don't really care about winning. They just want to see blood.”

“Now you're catching on. And they don't care whose it is. Oh. And we're upping the ante again.”

He adds a bullet.

“You forgot to say whether a player was eliminated.”

“Did I? What if I told you there wasn't really a game? What if I told you this whole thing was just made up? What if I told you it's been you and me this whole time?” He asks as he loads the bullets into the chamber.

“You're a liar.”

“Well, I guess we'll find out.” He spins the chamber. “It's time. Position. Please. Mm-hm. You got it.”

You grab the gun but don’t put it to your head. “Let me ask you this. What if there is just one bet? What if it's a 50/50 one?”

“That wouldn't make any sense.” He taps his temple to signal you to sssume the position.

You put the gun to your head. You don’t pull the trigger. “You know what? I think I have already won.” You point the gun at him. “I think the bet now is simply who walks out of this room.”

“That's not how this game is played.”

“You said it yourself, real gamblers will make odds on anything.”

“What if I told you that gun doesn't have any bullets?”

“I watched you.”

“Dummies, blanks. The real bet was to see how long you'd play before you quit.”

“Liar.”

“Okay. Okay, you're right. It wasn't fair, so just put the gun down, and we'll talk about changing the rules.”

“You're gonna change the rules?”

“Sure. Why not?”

“Guys like you don't get to make the rules.” You pull back the hammer and stand up. “Do you know what your mistake was? You thought that the show was all about me, but you forgot that there are two animals in this cage.” You notice him sliding his hand back towards his gun. “You won't get it out before I pull the trigger.”

“If that chamber's empty, I got you.”

“I thought they were blanks.”

“You don't have the guts.”

You shoot. Blank. He flips the table up and makes a run for the door, failing to notice his gun has fallen out of his pocket as you keep shooting at him, firing off three live shots and then nothing but gun clicks. The door slides open to reveal a guard. You grab The Recruiter’s discarded gun off the ground and shoot at the the guards, killing some of them. You then play dead behind the upturned table. They let their guard down and when they get close, you shoot them dead too. The Recruiter comes from behind and tackles you to the ground and tries to strangle you to death. But you manage to get the upper hand.

Even though he could, he’s too proud to beg for your help as he lays on the ground, convulsing, dying. He just stares at you as he chokes on his own blood until he dies with his eyes wide open. A smile still on his face.

You pull his earpiece out of his ear and put it in your own, listening for the person on the other end to say something. And then you hear those two words:

“You win.”

5. What if The Recruiter faked his death like how Oh Il-nam did in season 1? He died with his eyes wide open and none of the other characters checked his pulse. This man is so unhinged and was always five steps ahead of the other characters, always knowing they were watching him and looking for him. He eluded them for two years. He got the jump on them and subdued two men with just his briefcase. So what if he had planned for every possible outcome during the Russian Roulette game too and had piping lined underneath his suit to spurt out fake blood at the right time and the bullet was a dummy or a blank? Squid game men love to fake their deaths. Gi-hun winning the Russian Roulette game and not giving into his mind games throws him into abject shock. That's the second time he loses his smug smile. Gi-hun throwing his words back in his face only makes it worse, to the point he's driven to suicide rather than admit Gi-hun is right. But what if his “suicide” was just a part of a contingency plan so he could lie low for a while and then eventually go back to recruiting players once Gi-hun wasn’t a problem anymore and it was deemed by the people he worked for that it was safe to do so?

After his fake death, he’s left alone in the room when the main characters leave. He gets up from the chair he was playing dead in, cleans himself up by changing his clothes and washing away the blood on his skin, and goes home to you, his wife, as if nothing happened. You’re kept in the dark about what he really does. (Or you’re in on it and help him get the bloodstains out of his clothes, though you work behind the scenes and use your computer and hacking skills to find potential players and learn everything about them. He has to get his information from somewhere, after all. But you don’t go “out into the field” so to speak like he does.) If you don’t know the truth, he explains that he’s been granted extended vacation time from his work and suggests a holiday outside of South Korea. What about Thailand? Or Italy might be nice. Anywhere you want to go, just say the word. He has plenty of money to sustain the both of you during said vacation so don’t worry if you can’t get the time off. You didn’t really like your job anyway, right? Or maybe you’re pregnant so you take advantage of maternity and paternity leave early. Either way, a months or years long holiday would sound heavenly, wouldn’t it? If you do know the truth, you’re prepared the second he gives you a call on your restricted phone and says just a few words. You’ve been prepared for this day for years.

6. A scenario very much like the Korean thriller movie “Addicted”. You’re the long time girlfriend of The Recruiter’s brother (Of course you know The Recruiter’s actual name but for simplicity’s sake, I’ll just call him The Recruiter so authors can choose whatever name they want to give him.) and get married. While he and his brother are very different as people, and the only thing they really have in common is the parents they share, they are very close despite having very different interests and personalities. You wonder if the only reason they get along so well is because of you since you’re the common link between them. The Recruiter decides to take part in a car race for money even though his brother, who is concerned for his safety, asks him not to do that particular race. With a heavy heart, your husband plans on attending the car race to support his brother. Running late, he has to hail a taxi. The speeding taxi crashes into a lorry, and your husband is seriously injured. At the same time as the taxi crashes, The Recruiter’s car overturns in the middle of the race and he is also badly injured. Both The Recruiter and your husband fall into comas.

A year later, The Recruiter wakes up but is unable to walk properly, due in part to his physical injuries. He is brought home by you, where you attempt to take care of him while he recovers. Over time, you realize that The Recruiter is behaving identically to your husband. He tries to convince you that he feels like he is actually his brother, your husband, unable to explain why. He agrees to go for a hypnosis test and his answers so reflect his brother's character, that the doctor concludes your husband’s spirit has entered his brother (The Recruiter’s) body. You’re devastated by this revelation. You, unable to accept The Recruiter as your husband, tell his girlfriend that you are unable to live with him. She offers to take The Recruiter away and he agrees to go with her for your sake. One rainy day, he appears to you just as your husband had before. You discuss memories together and you finally accept The Recruiter as the "possessed" spirit of your husband. The Recruiter and you then share a slow, emotional night together where you have sex after the tearful revelation. You start to live life together as a happy and loving couple. In time, you become pregnant with The Recruiter’s child. Meanwhile, your real husband is still on life support. The doctor suggests to you that there is no chance of your husband waking up and it may be best if he were allowed to die in peace. You agree, and watch with The Recruiter as your husband is taken off life support.

The Recruiter’s girlfriend returns and tells you that she has accepted the fact that her now ex-boyfriend is no longer himself, and that she can no longer love him. She decides to go abroad to study (she may or may not have been blackmailed or bribed by the Recruiter and the people he works for to keep quiet and get lost or else be shot dead and her body burned and never found). The Recruiter, living as your husband, continues life as normal. Recruiting players for the games and keeping you in the dark about what he does or who he really is. You’re not feeling well while you’re out and about with him, so you decide to go home to get some rest and let him stay as what he’s doing is too important for him to just leave with you. While you’re home, a weird looking package addressed to The Recruiter arrives. You open it and find a necklace which had been given to you by The Recruiter. It went missing one day. You thought you just misplaced it.

You read the accompanying note, from The Recruiter’s ex-girlfriend, saying that she cannot understand his crazy love for you and could never ever hope to be you, no matter how hard he tried to mold her into you. Frantic, you dig through The Recruiter’s workroom and find a number of hidden photos of yourself that were taken by The Recruiter. You realize that he had loved you before you married his brother. You also find a notebook that The Recruiter wrote about loving you and being happy because he is able to watch you and live with you through his brother. You cry sorrowfully. You drive back to The Recruiter. You take him aside and ask him various questions about something innocuous like works of art and comment that some pieces may look good in your home and he should consider bidding on them or buying them outright. You continue to pretend that your husband’s spirit is in The Recruiter’s body despite knowing the truth. The Recruiter scatters his brother’s ashes across the sea. He loved you even before his brother, and had for the entire time you were with him. He faked his leg injury so you’d take care of him for a few weeks before he could pretend it was all healed thanks to you. The Recruiter also confesses that he made use of all of his brother's secrets to "transform" himself into him, to the extent of sacrificing his own identity and behavior. He claims that it was he who died after the accident. He tells his brother that you will forever love him under the identity of your dead husband. He apologizes and asks his brother never to forgive him for his deeds.

7. Hear me out: A consensual non-consent/CNC roleplay fic with The Recruiter. While you’re not a loan shark yourself, you’re part of the team Gi-hun hires to help track down The Recruiter due to being an associate of sorts of theirs and being personally recommended to Gi-hun by them. You’re the only woman and the youngest amongst the many men you’ve worked with the past two or three years. Despite your gender and age, you’ve proven to them and to Gi-hun that you’re experienced and have had great success in finding people that don’t want to be found. You’re highly capable and confident that you can do this and you’re not just in it for the one billion won he promised to whoever finds The Recruiter. You’re with Kim Jeong-rae and Choi Woo-seok when they spot The Recruiter at Jonggak Station. The three of you are told to follow him carefully but avoid making contact and do not approach him. You watch him in Tapgol Park when he gives bread and lottery tickets to homeless people, but he doesn’t approach you, Choi, or Kim. Secretly, while Kim and Choi are shocked at The Recruiter’s behavior and think he’s a total nutcase when he stomps on all the bread after making a short speech to everyone, you think he’s so hot when he’s a little disheveled after all his stomping and combs his fingers through his hair, slicking it back and tucking his tie back into his suit blazer.

Despite Gi-hun’s order to not engage, you get the idea to follow The Recruiter down the alleyway and tell Mr. Kim and Mr. Choi that you might lose him if you wait and should just get him by yourselves. Before they can protest or tell you to wait, you’re running ahead, yelling for The Recruiter to stop. They don’t have time to argue and run after you to help you. When they get close, they witness The Recruiter hit you a couple times, so hard that the force of his hits causes you to stumble backwards and fall to the ground. You’re seemingly knocked out cold when your head makes impact with the hard cement. Despite Mr. Choi having a knife, The Recruiter easily subdues the two men with just his briefcase, knocking them unconscious for real. Once he tells you it’s okay to do so, you open your eyes. He grabs your hand and helps you up. You dust yourself off then help The Recruiter drag and carry Kim Jeong-rae and Choi Woo-seok’s bodies inside to finish setting up the room for Russian Roulette. Together, you stand on the roof of a building and watch Gi-hun from above. When he tells you, you take your place in a chair that’s in the middle so you’ll be in perfect view of both men when they wake up and you’ll have The Recruiter standing directly behind you the entire time, his body pressed against the back of your chair and hovering over you. You nearly moan and rub your thighs together while he fastens your wrists to the armchair and pulls the ropes extra tight. As he ties the gag around your mouth, he gives you a warning to behave or else he’ll make use of your mouth later. But all you can think is, “Mmm. Don’t threaten me with a good time, daddy.” You see the lust swimming in his deep brown irises underneath his faux irritation with you. You know that if he could, he’d fuck you right now. But like you, he’s sticking to the plan and is going to wait to start the game until the real players wake up. On command, you let out a few tears to make your acting all the more believable.

Kim Jeong-rae and Choi Woo-seok wake up and The Recruiter puts on opera music and explains the rules of Rock, Paper, Scissors, Minus One, and Russian Roulette, dramatically illustrating the penalty for the loser when he points the gun to his own head and pulls the trigger. But there’s another twist. They may have noticed you’re tied to your chair a little differently than they’re tied to theirs. That’s because, unlike them, you’re not playing. You’ll be an observer of sorts and won’t need the use of your hands. To their horror, The Recruiter then takes a knife or pair of scissors out of his pocket and violently cuts your clothes off your body. When you try to thrash and pull away from him, he slaps you and orders you to sit still unless you want him to cut your pretty skin. He grips your hair to keep you in place as he grazes the knife or scissors against your cheek, not cutting you, but coming very close. You sob harder and squeal in fear as you comply until you’re left in just your underwear, (because he is the only man allowed to look at your cunt) your shredded clothes in pieces around you. You don’t even have your bra or socks anymore. He explains to Mr. Kim and Mr. Choi that, for every time they tie and have to go again, he will touch you however he wants in front of them, seemingly without your consent. The first time they’ll tie, it’ll be for fifteen seconds. Then thirty. Then forty-five, and so on. And they’ll be forced to watch for the duration. He’ll point the gun and pull the trigger at whoever diverts their eyes before the time is up. He has so many fun toys he could use on you in his briefcase.

Your acting really sells it and adds to their fear and disgust. Whenever they tie, you pretend to cringe and sob every time The Recruiter touches you, letting out muffled screams as you beg him not to. He’d do all sorts of things to you, from fondling and squeezing your breasts, to sticking out his tongue and licking a long path on your skin from your wrist to your shoulder to your neck to your cheek before ending in biting your ear. He’d remove your gag for just a second, not giving you time to cry out before he’s tilting your head back to kiss your mouth, violating your lips with his own and the inside of your mouth with his tongue. He’d kiss you so hard that he’d bite down and your lower lip would bleed. After he’s done kissing you, he’d lick up the blood from your bleeding lip and immediately put the gag back in place. He’d drag the gun down between your breasts and to the inside of your underwear, rubbing it against your mound and teasing the possibility of inserting it inside your cunt, only to actually reach his other hand inside your underwear and finger you instead, using toys on you, etc. You’re such a pretty little actress, aren’t you? So good for him.

The exhibitionism, the humiliation, and Mr. Kim and Mr. Choi’s fear of death makes it all the more exciting for you and The Recruiter, especially when Choi and Mr. Kim beg him to stop, for you to be left alone. Though their pleas are just as muffled as yours. The shame and pity in their eyes as they’re forced to watch what they believe to be you being sexually assaulted by a sadistic stranger almost makes you want to laugh. But all games must end eventually. The time comes when The Recruiter puts five bullets into the chamber, increasing the chances of death to 5 in 6. When Mr. Kim refuses to take a hand away and sacrifices himself to spare Choi Woo-seok, The Recruiter shoots him dead. His blood splatters over the space between your breasts but only a little bit of it lands on The Recruiter’s cheek. As he passes by you, he strokes your hair with one hand, running his fingers through it and then letting it go as he bends down and congratulates a traumatized Choi on his win. He looks over his shoulder at your practically naked form, shivering and twitching with the aftershock of everything he did to you with just his tongue, hands, and toys thus far. He hasn’t even given you his cock yet and already you’re like this. He gloats that while Choi won the game, he’s the real winner who received the grand prize - you. He asks if they can have a talk. The Recruiter asks questions on Gi-hun’s location.

After the interrogation, The Recruiter knocks Choi out again and unties you so he can unbuckle his pants and manhandle you however he wants so he can have sex with you properly. Against the wall, on the table, on the floor, on the couch, it doesn’t matter. He’ll take you wherever and however he wants to take you. Rock, Paper, Scissors, Minus One and Russian Roulette was just a warmup. But this…this is even more intense. Even more passionate, primal, painful. When he inserts his fingers and/or cock inside you, it always hurts so damn good. He’s demanding, he’s high maintenance, but you always are able to keep up and know exactly what he wants without him even having to say a word. You read his body language so well. He’s the same way with you. He can tell exactly what you want just from the noises you make. Though he loves to hear you use your words and say it. He can be such a tease sometimes. He loves driving you to the precipice but withholding your orgasm from you until he believes you’ve earned it. He planted you within the Loan Sharks’ circle and tasked you with earning their and Gi-hun’s trust by using the information he fed you so you could pretend to be good at finding people. The ploy worked. Good girls deserve rewards and bad girls earn punishments. And while you’ve been bad at times over the past three or more years you’ve known him and have been punished by him accordingly, you were such a good girl for him in the game, so he’ll reward you by fucking you however you want and then giving you amazing aftercare. He hit you rather hard to make the act believable and your skin might be bruising, but you took it so well. He’ll get out the first aid kit and make you feel better in more ways than one. This plan was as much your idea as it was his. God, you’re so fucking brilliant, a perfect match for him in mind and body. He fucking loves you, even if he’s not the kind of man to say it often.

You change into the outfit he picked out and bought for you, including new lingerie to replace the set he half-destroyed. Could be a nice women’s dress suit similar to his. Something expensive but overall inconspicuous. When he goes to confront Gi-hun and play Russian Roulette again, you’re hidden in an alley nearby, waiting behind the wheel in the getaway car for after he either wins the game or fakes his suicide/death. Whether The Recruiter wins, loses, or Gi-hun breaks the rules and tries to shoot him, it doesn’t matter. You’ve planned ahead for every possible outcome, and they all end with the both of you getting away and lying low for a while, continuing your work for the games from behind the scenes. It’s not long before he opens the passenger door and has you drive, opening his briefcase where he has guns at the ready. He gives you the directions throughout the drive and you’re off. You’re like a professional stunt driver at the wheel, having no issues going high speeds, making smooth and fast turns, and weaving in and out of traffic to evade pursuers if you have to. He needs to keep his hands free in case you’re followed and he needs to lean out the window and shoot at anyone.

8. Going off of a previous thought I had now that season 2 revealed In-ho had a wife who died young from acute cirrhosis of the liver, and that he took bribes when he was a dirty cop because of her condition: What if In-ho went so far to save you from your illness that it turned into a Nora and Mr. Freeze situation? You were just a happily married couple but then you started feeling unwell. You didn’t think much of it at first, thinking your symptoms were from something else like the flu or food poisoning. It possibly got so bad that you fainted and hit your head on the way down. When he got home from work, your place was filled with smoke but no fire as the smoke alarms went off. Covering his mouth and nose, he was quick to open windows to let the smoke out. He found you unconscious in the kitchen, your hair matted by the pool of blood forming on the floor from your head wound. He’d never been so terrified until that moment. As much as he wanted to rush to you and make sure you weren’t dead, he had to secure the house first. He had to make sure you weren’t attacked and that, if you were, the attacker wasn’t still inside, hiding somewhere. With his gun pointed, he searched every room. All clear and nothing appeared to be stolen or out of place. He didn’t care about the burned dinner you were in the middle of making as he rushed you to the hospital. He was there with you, holding your hand during every doctor appointment, every test. And that was when you got the news. When he has a heart to heart with Gi-hun while undercover as Oh Young-il/Player 001, he tells him the truth. Not the whole truth, but some of it: That you’re very sick with acute cirrhosis and need a liver transplant (or any other disease and treatment of your choosing). But when you were going through the tests, you found out you were pregnant. The doctor suggested a termination, but you wouldn’t listen. You said you’d give birth even if it killed you. You’re stubborn. Your husband has never been able to change your mind about anything. You were struggling to find a donor and your condition was getting worse.

“Breathe. I'm right here. Look at me. Where's the formoterol?” He kneeled down next to you, wrapping his arm around you as you coughed violently (possibly coughing up blood) and struggled to inhale and exhale properly. He found the bottle and gave you the pill, helping you to drink by tipping the glass of water to your lips. The attack gradually subsided.

“That was the worst one yet.”

“That was the last pill. Why didn't you tell me?”

“I'm sorry. I forgot. There's so many. There's so many,” you cried.

“If you have another attack and you don't have this medication, you could die. You can't let this happen again.”

“Why? Does it matter?”

“It matters. I'll be back. I need to get this refilled.”

He went to the pharmacy, leaving you alone in your house.

“Next.”

“I need to get this refilled.”

“Do you have the prescription?”

“I have the bottle.”

“That's not the same thing, is it?”

“Please, I just need it refilled.”

“The original prescription doesn't have a refill order. If it doesn't have a refill order, I can't refill it.”

“This medication is for my wife. She's sick. She's in pain.”

“Everyone that comes in here is sick or in pain. Have your doctor write a new prescription. Then I can refill it.”

“Just give me the medication.”

“No.”

“You son of a bitch!” In-ho lunged at the man, trying to strangle him. He was pulled off and away by two other workers.

“Get out! Get him out of here! Get out of here before I call the cops, you kook!”

Call the cops? He was a fucking cop.

“You shouldn't have done that. I'll be back,” he warned, pointing a finger as he left.

You were admitted to the hospital though you could barely afford it and your husband visited every day until his visits suddenly stopped. You were worried but he never returned your phone calls. For an entire week, you didn’t hear from him. He borrowed as much money as he could, but it still wasn’t enough. He was desperate, then one of his oldest vendors heard about the situation and offered to help. So he borrowed money from them. But people saw it as a bribe and he got fired from his job. He had devoted his entire youth to it. The games were his last hope. He really needed that money even if it was blood money. He needed that money to save you and your child. That all happened in 2015 during the 28th annual squid games.

When he came back after he won a week later, he was all in black, including gloves and a mask that covered his entire face and changed his voice (not his Front Man outfit, but something similar). He was carrying a Heckler & Koch MP5A3 sub-machine gun and his Smith & Wesson Model 19 revolver from back when he was a cop. Though he’d gone against the protocol of leaving one chamber empty and another filled with a blank. He had five live bullets loaded in the chamber and ready to fire as he pointed it at the worker that denied him before.

“Formoterol. Now.” He demanded. Upon entering the pharmacy, he shot the only other worker and person in the building not to kill but to incapacitate him so he couldn’t call for help.

“Okay. Okay. Take it all. Please, don't kill me. Please. I’ll-I'll do anything you want.” The worker begged, holding his hands up. He wasn’t so smug now, was he?

In-ho took all of the medication you needed. “Thank you. You and your friend here...are helping to save my wife.”

He shot both men dead and left.

To make sure nobody would make a missing persons report or come looking for you when he inevitably kidnapped you from the hospital you were staying in and brought you to the island, he faked your death by doing something crazy like impersonating a doctor and drugging you with something that wouldn’t kill you, but make your heart rate so slow that it caused a Code Blue and set off the alarms, making it look like you were flatlining. He even forged legal documents making it look like you consented to a “Do Not Resuscitate” order so that medical staff wouldn’t accidentally kill you by shocking you or break your ribs from performing chest compressions. Once they disabled all the alarms and unhooked you from the IVs and monitors that were attached to your skin and moved you to the morgue, he kidnapped you and replaced your unconscious body with an unclaimed female corpse that was unrecognizable in the face and teeth but looked enough like you to pass by planting stuff on it so his family would false identify it as you after DNA tests matched with you. After whisking you away to the island to get you the treatments you needed to overcome your sickness, whenever you were awake, he smoothly lied to you to leave you oblivious and in the dark about where you really were and what was really going on, taking advantage of your confusion and disorientation and other side effects from your condition to gaslight you.

“In-ho...?”

“I'm here, darling. I brought you home,” he said, holding your hand.

The room you were in didn’t look familiar. It didn’t look like home. It looked more like a luxurious hotel room.

“I'm so tired.”

“I know. It'll all be over soon.”

“In-ho... I want you to let me go. Let me die,” you begged, cupping his face in your hands.

“Honey, you don't mean that. We can do this. A donor has been found. The surgery will work. I'll be there when you wake up. I'll be there.”

“Okay.” You nodded your head and he kissed you.

Just as you were about to be put under, you stopped him and who you assumed to be doctors standing nearby (though they were dressed rather strangely) from injecting you with the sedative or putting the mask with knockout gas over your nose and mouth by grabbing his hand. “In-ho, wait. My necklace. The one that you gave me on our first anniversary. I left it on the nightstand in my hospital room when I had to go in for scans. Did you get it for me? Please, dear, tell me you did.”

He hesitated, unsure if you were just stalling for the sake of stalling or not. He brought it with him. Of course he did. “I got it. I've got it,” he said, pulling it out of his pocket to show you.

“Can you put it on me? Please, honey. I know it’s silly, but it’d make me feel…less afraid.”

He complied with your wish, bending over you to put it around your neck, clasping it into place. You fiddled with it, the familiarity of the metal bringing you comfort under your fingers. Now that he was close enough, you put your other hand on his cheek, rubbing it as you ran your fingers through his hair. “In-ho. I love you. If I don’t make it off the table… Please don't blame yourself.”

“You’ll make it. I’ll see you soon.” He reassured you, giving you one last kiss. “I love you,” was one of the last things you heard. A few minutes later, you were unconscious.

It’d take months, possibly even years to even begin to get you back to where you were, though you’ve shown signs of improvement after undergoing treatment. You were often unconscious from the surgeries and operations during your pregnancy and he’d tell himself he wasn’t gaslighting you out of malice, but out of love. The less you knew, the safer you’d be. He’d go as far to make sure you didn’t find out that he keeps hidden cameras around his quarters and a tracker hidden in either a piece of jewelry he knows you always wear or possibly under your skin even, claiming it was part of your surgeries so you wouldn’t question the stitches or the healing scar. You don’t feel it so you don’t know it’s there. You spent most of your pregnancy on bedrest. He couldn’t drug or sedate you too much because of the risk to the baby’s health, but even when you were awake, he’d do his damnedest to keep you safe, healthy, and comfortable even while lying to you or expertly deflecting your questions. Where’s your cell phone? Deflect. Why can’t this Apple computer in his office connect to the internet? Deflect. When can you go home? Deflect. Where are you? Deflect. Even though the circumstances of your new living situation were unclear and left you unsettled, you were excited to give birth despite the somewhat shady doctors your husband brought to care for you. If he ever detected you trying to leave his quarters, an alarm beeped just loud enough for him to hear it, signaling to him to put his quarters on complete lockdown with a push of a button so you couldn’t wander off and he’d rush to check on you. He’d either sedate you again if he absolutely had to out of fear your lashing out at him would be a danger to yourself or the baby, or he’d otherwise distract or dissuade you from asking too many questions or wandering too far. If you asked questions, he’d tell you to think of it as a dream, that it isn’t a bad dream for you anyway since you’ll have your baby soon. When the time came for you to give birth, your husband was there with doctors that were hired for their discretion (or he’d just kill them afterwards) and you gave birth to a healthy baby and survived, though the birth was difficult and took a great toll on your body. That was in 2015 or 2016.

You thought you’d be able to go home eventually, but in reality, you’re still practically a prisoner on an unknown island. During the first couple years, you took care of your baby while your husband oversaw vulnerable people being driven to kill others or themselves out of desperation for blood money for the entertainment of bored rich people in sadistic death games. Whenever it was lights out for the players, he came back and gave you your much needed break, taking his turn to care for your baby while you rested. You’re not sure why you’re still here as you’re feeling much better, but your husband and doctors keep saying your condition isn’t stable yet, you’re not in the clear, a few more tests and treatments. It’s always something. He won’t let you leave. You can’t leave this place without his permission.

And even worse, when your child reached a certain age, maybe around three or four (old enough to walk and talk), he took them away from you, sent them to be raised and cared for by people he knew he could trust until the time was right for you to take them back. He couldn’t let your child grow up in this place and become old enough to have awareness of their surroundings or start asking questions. When children reach a certain age, they get curious. Too curious. He couldn’t risk that. And this is no place for a child anyway. They need proper socialization and a healthy environment to grow and learn. When you found out what he’d done, you yelled at him, screamed at him, hit him repeatedly. He took it all. Then you ignored him, gave him the silent treatment. He took that too. He’d understand if you never forgive him but he needs you to understand that he does all of this because he loves and cares about you and your child - his family - more than he does a bunch of strangers. He’ll kill however many he needs to if it means you both get to live. And that’s why when Thanos is talking shit while he’s undercover in the games, telling him to stop running his mouth and take care of his own damn kids, to save the lecture for his own children, he snaps and beats the shit out of him, nearly choking him to death in the middle of the dorms. But, unbeknownst to him, after your child was taken away from you, you became more proactive in discovering the truth and getting off this damn island. You weren’t just gonna lie down and blindly love and trust your husband anymore. You can play dual roles and keep secrets as well as he can. You know your husband would never kill you. He’s done everything to save you. And even if he does kill you for going behind his back, you’re not afraid of dying. Your resolve is strong, unwavering. You’ll either get off this damn island and get your child back or die trying, with or without your husband. It’ll be up to him what he wants to do, if he comes with you or not. You just have to bide your time and play your cards right.

9. You’re a player and while In-ho is undercover as player 001/Oh Young-il, you and he form some kind of connection and stick together during the games. You likely have a considerate age gap between you. He’s probably at least fifteen years older than you but despite that, you’re hot for each other. You have been ever since surviving the six legged relay race. You’re so thankful he and his team took pity on you and let you join and bonded with him in the dorms afterwards. He sticks by you during the Mingle game and saves your life by grabbing your wrist and running with you, keeping you close for every round so you’re always in a room with him, no matter how many people are needed. On the last round, he kills a man in ten seconds before your very eyes after he refuses to leave. After the game, he comes to you during lights out and asks if you want to go with him somewhere away from everybody else to have some “much needed alone time together”. You know, despite his use of euphemism or polite language, that he’s inviting you to have sex to blow off some steam and come down from the high that the combined stress of playing the latest game and left over adrenaline gave you.

You follow his lead when he knocks on the door and asks a guard to use the bathroom. Together you ditch the guard (unbeknownst to you, he used his authority as the Front Man and subtly signaled the guard to go away.) and he takes you back to the room where the Mingle game was played, now spotless from clean up. No blood or bodies anywhere. The lights are mostly off and the few that are on are low, making the lighting in the room look dark purple, almost black, with hints of red. He tells you to pick any door of your choosing. You pick a door that’s your favorite color and he grabs you by the hand or lifts you up to carry you bridal style or over his shoulder into the room, closing the door behind you. You barely pay attention to the sound of the lock clicking into place as In-ho/Young-il is instantly on you, his hands and mouth all over your body, touching and feeling everywhere he can before you even begin to take your clothes off. That comes soon enough as, finally alone, you have sex on the floor in the colored room, the light above reflecting off the painted walls and creating makeshift “mood lighting” as you meet his hot kisses and touches with equal fervor. The potential danger of being caught by the pink guards only further turns you on. Unbeknownst to you, there’s no danger at all since you’re having sex with the Front Man and Host of the games. You’d hate to admit it, but you thought he was so sexy when he was strangling that man to death. It almost turned you on when he didn’t break eye contact with you and you heard the player’s neck snap. While he’s thrusting in and out of you, you beg him to choke you. He asks if you’re sure, and you confirm your consent. He tells you to tap his shoulder or scratch down his back three times if you want him to let go. While he fucks you, he chokes you so hard that your vision begins to blur and you see stars as you struggle to breathe. He doesn’t apply enough pressure to kill you or knock you out, but it’s enough to make your orgasm that much sweeter of a high.

10. While In-ho is undercover as player 001/Oh Young-il, he becomes obsessed with you because you’re visibly pregnant and/or have a resemblance to his deceased wife somehow. Even if it’s just one thing like your smile, eyes, or personality. After his wife got sick and both she and their unborn child died, he was devastated at the loss of his family, believing he went through the games and won, but it was all for nothing as he got out only to find his family was already dead. He felt guilty for not spending time with his wife in the hospital and being there for her before she died. (“I should go and be with my wife at the hospital,” he said to Gi-hun.) He never really forgave himself for just abandoning her without a word. And with nothing to go back to in the outside world - no wife, no child, no job - he dedicated himself to the games as the Front Man. That’s why he snapped and beat the shit out of Thanos and nearly choked him to death after his insensitive comments about “save the lecture for your own damn kids”. He thought he lost his beloved wife and his baby forever, but seeing you makes him believe he can have both a wife and a child again.

He becomes immensely protective of you, so much so that it’s unnerving to the other players at times, possibly even you, but nobody would dare to say a thing to his face. He’s one of the most formidable players in the game. He kills several players in the games personally while telling you sweet and caring things when you’re given moments of respite during the games and when you’re back in the dorms after the games are over.

“When you get out of here, go see a doctor right away. You’ve been under a lot of stress. You need to get yourself checked out.”

He gives you his milk or shares his food with you, insisting on you taking it since you’re eating for two and need it more than he does. He lets you use his pillow or blanket during lights out. He’s always asking if you’re all right and cracking jokes to keep the mood light and make you smile despite the circumstances. He keeps you stuck to him during every game like velcro. During the six-legged race? Your arm is interlocked with his. During the Mingle game? He’s holding onto your arm or wrist so tightly when you run to gather enough players and get to a colored door in time that there’s no chance of other frantic players pushing you to the ground or separating you from him. When you need to go to the bathroom outside of hours and sneak out of bed, he’s awake and asks what you’re doing. When you sheepishly admit you need the bathroom, he’s there with you at the door demanding for you to be let out if the guards tell you no at first. Despite being a man, he’s in the women’s bathroom with you. You’re the only two people awake and using the bathroom, so who cares if he’s a man in the women’s bathroom? The guards definitely don’t care. (Because he’s their boss, but you don’t know that.) He’s leaning against the stall directly across from the one you go into or the sink and keeps you company, asking if you’re sick and if you need him to hold your hair back for you if you’re feeling nauseous when he notices you’ve been in there for a long time. If he hears you crying, he’s knocking on the stall before opening it and kneeling in front of you, immediately fretting over you, asking if it’s the baby and if you’re in any pain, are you in labor, is the baby coming? Then he’s holding you and comforting you when you admit you’re afraid. Same for if you have an emotional breakdown over not being allowed to go home after the vote doesn’t go the way you want it to. He’s there to hold you, stroke your hair and stomach (with your permission of course) and tell you you’re going to make it out of this and both you and your baby will be fine. You swear sometimes you hear him say “our” baby, or that he’s calling you pet names like darling, honey, and sweetheart, but he gaslights you and tells you that you must’ve misheard him whenever you call it out and ask him about it.

When he goes with the men to find the control room, you stay behind. While you’re not sure if you love him, you have grown to care for him and see him as a dear friend at least and are worried for him. After the game is over and he goes back to being the Front Man, the pink guards storm into the dorms, firing off two warning shots and ordering everyone to get down on the floor. The sight of the pink guards rushing forwards with their guns pointed and no sign of Young-il or any of the other players makes you fear for the worst. Curled up on your side on the floor, you panic when your water breaks at the exact moment you believe Young-il is dead. Other players might think you’ve peed your pants from fear, but you can feel the contractions already starting. Unbeknownst to you, the Front Man sees your water break on the cameras from the control room, the small puddle staining your sweatpants wet and forming on the floor under you as the women nearby try to comfort you. He orders some of the guards in the control room to escort you out of the dorm room and to his private quarters while the other pink guards are busy defusing the situation. He emphasizes to them to be gentle with you, meaning don’t walk too fast, make sure you don’t fall, and keep their guns pointed away from you at all times. You’re terrified when three or four pink guards approach you and two of them slowly lift you up by your arms and force you to follow them out of the dorms the second you get back on your feet. You’re the only player singled out and escorted away from the others. Your friends are yelling your name, asking the guards where they’re taking you, but they receive no answer. Once you’re in the hallways of many colorful stairs, they blindfold you so you can’t know where you’re going, making you more scared. Your arm is held the whole way to wherever it is you’re going. They don’t tell you anything or answer your questions. They only tell you when there are steps in front of you so you don’t trip and fall on them. But you think they’re holding onto you so you can’t run. You think for sure you’re going to be killed and your baby will be cut out of your dead body and sold to a black market along with your organs or something.

But when the blindfold is removed, you find yourself lying down on a plush bed in a very nice, almost luxurious room with the Front Man and who you think is a doctor of sorts. The Front Man orders the doctor to help you by giving you everything you need for a safe and healthy delivery. But while you’re given a clean and plain men’s t-shirt so you can change out of your ruined track suit, you’re unnerved that the Front Man won’t leave. He’s considerate enough to turn his back or let you change in his bathroom and doesn’t turn back around until you’re back in his bed with your lower half covered with the blankets and the men’s shirt, which is so big and long on you it’s like a nightgown almost. He stands either on your left or right side near your head so he can’t see between your legs. While a part of you is relieved you have that semblance of privacy, he just stands there, watching over you. And you can’t read his face since it’s covered by his black mask. And you can’t tell much emotion from his voice either. It unnerves you.

But the terror becomes confusion when he eventually asks if you need to hold his hand after watching you struggle through a few contractions despite the epidural you were given. What? He repeats the question. When you shakily say yes, he removes his black leather gloves to hold your hand in both of his, letting you squeeze as tightly as you can when the contractions are at their worst. Your strength is nothing compared to his so he barely feels it. His skin is so warm. This bed is warm too. Much warmer than the cot you were sleeping in. You hate to admit that it feels nice. He puts on some jazz music to help you relax. He tells you not to think and to just focus on the music, breathe, and push whenever the doctor tells you to. After who knows how many hours, you give one last push and hear a baby crying. Your baby. After the doctor cleans them up and does what needs to be done for aftercare for you including any stitches or disposing of the placenta, etc., the Front Man orders him to leave. Your baby is wrapped in a soft towel or sheet as a makeshift blanket and resting on your chest. For a moment, you’re too in awe of them to care about the Front Man or what’s happening around you.

But then you hear a soft click as he takes his mask off and reveals himself not as player 001, Oh Young-il - but Hwang In-ho, Captain and Host of the squid games following his predecessor’s death and, even more alarming, your husband and the father of your child. You can’t believe it. He joined Gi-hun's assault on the staff, dispatching several guards personally. He killed two players to effectively fake his death to resume his place amongst the staff. When you’re horrified and exclaim that all those players who went with him are dead because of him, he is quick to correct you that no, they’re all dead because of Gi-hun. Even worse for you, if the real father of your child is still alive, whether or not you have a relationship with him, he won’t be alive for much longer. Even if he’s in the outside world and not a part of the games, In-ho will still find a way to kill him discreetly and dispose of the body so he can have you and your child for himself. He effectively kidnaps you and keeps you and your baby captive in his quarters because he’s all kinds of fucked up after his wife and unborn child’s deaths. You thought the games made him so relentless, that the games changed him. What you don’t know is that this relentless drive to get what he wants was apparent even before becoming the Front Man, as there were many self-help books on achieving one's desires in his old apartment.

OR

If you’re not already pregnant when he meets you, he’d be determined to impregnate you and would go out of his way to seduce you through emotional and mental manipulation or bribes during downtime between the games. Even worse for you if it works and you sleep with him in a moment of clouded judgment due to your hormones and/or fragile mental and emotional state from the high stress of your near death experiences. Either in your bunk, a bathroom stall, the stairs, or inside one of the colored doors from the Mingle game. Whether or not you’re already pregnant, once you have sex with him, your fate is pretty much sealed. He’d be even more protective and possessive of you, as your consenting to have sex with him would affirm for him the delusion that you love him back and accept him as your husband and father of your child, whether or not he actually is the child’s father biologically.

Either way, it’d be like a Basement Wife trope but he keeps going back and forth between sweet and doting and cold and ruthless personalities so it’s like you’re dealing with a Jekyll and Hyde type situation while prisoner. He’d never hurt you, especially not while you’re in such a fragile condition. He doesn’t want to chain you to the bed or sedate you as it can’t be good for you or the baby, but he will if you persist in misbehaving and lashing out. Stress isn’t good for you or the baby. He has no fear about you harming him, he can easily overpower you without hurting you, but he won’t let you harm yourself or your baby in any way. He might strap a monitor on your wrist that you can’t take off because it has a very special lock only he has the key to. Kind of like a house arrest ankle monitor. But this monitor allows him to monitor your health, whereabouts, and call you if he’s away for any reason - like an Apple Watch. Either that or he’d implant a tracking chip under your skin somewhere on your body while you’re passed out from being sedated. If you wake up, he knows. If you get out of bed to get a glass of water, use the bathroom, take a shower, or otherwise move around his quarters, he knows. If you so much as get a goddamn paper cut from reading a book, he knows. He won’t let anything happen to you or your child. You should’ve known something was wrong with him when he strangled a man to death and broke his neck in front of you during the Mingle game just so you and he could be the only two people in the room needed to pass. He looked at you and you saw no remorse or horror in his eyes. Only pride at protecting you.

11. You’re pregnant during the games and go into labor at an inopportune moment, possibly during the games or during the “special game” of the lights out free for all when everybody was murdering each other. If it’s the special game, he’d hide under the bed on the bottom level with you and his “friends”, his arms wrapped around you and his body almost on top of yours like a human shield. His hand would clamp over your mouth to keep you quiet if you cried out from seeing a player get murdered right in front of your eyes. You’d cry out again and that’s when you’d both feel wetness coming from your sweatpants and you both know it’s not pee. However it happens, In-ho/Young-il is so fiercely protective of you, having a soft spot for you ever since you revealed you were pregnant when you approached him and his team for the six-legged race and since then giving you special treatment that you thought was just him being nice, like giving you extra food and milk or letting you use his pillow and blanket so you’d be more comfortable during lights out.

When pink guards burst in and the players enact their plan to steal the guards’ guns and infiltrate the control room to capture the Front Man, In-ho makes sure you stay down and out of the rain of fire as he shoots many pink guards dead. When enough guards are dead and the others have retreated, he gets ready to head out with Gi-hun and his team. He waits until everyone else in line is ahead of him before he helps you up and takes you out of the room with him, telling you that you can’t stay in the dorms and he knows a place where you’ll be safe to deliver your baby. While the others are being led by the pink guard they took hostage and aren’t looking at him and you at the very back of the line, he takes you down a different hallway. You’re confused as it appears to be a dead end. He looks up towards a camera and nods. You don’t have time to react or understand what’s happening when the wall behind you opens up and a couple of pink guards blindfold you and grab hold of you from behind, pulling you away as you scream Young-il’s name for help. The others are too far away and can’t hear you over the sounds of their own yelling and all the gunfire. The last thing you hear is gunfire and Young-il’s voice telling you to trust him and that you’re going to be fine before the wall slides shut again, cutting you off from him and everyone else. You have no choice but to go wherever the guards are leading you and hope you and your baby will be okay along with Young-il. That’s why when after In-ho shoots players 047 and 015 in the back, he tells the control room to start wrapping things up. The sooner Gi-hun’s failed attempt at playing the hero ends, the sooner he can drop the facade of being Young-il and be at your side while you give birth in his private quarters.

OR

In-ho arranges for you to be exempt from the game so you can be taken away and brought to a medical bay or his personal quarters quietly without the other players putting up too much of a fuss since you can’t compete while in labor. It wouldn’t be fair and the games are all about fairness, or so he likes to preach. (Just like how he exempted Mi-nyeo from the marbles game when nobody wanted to pair up with her.) Could be part of my previous ideas of you being pregnant or could be its own separate thing.

12. You’re his wife and you’re very sick with acute cirrhosis and need a liver transplant. (Or any other disease and treatment of your choosing.) But when you’re going through the tests, you find out you’re pregnant.

"What-what are you saying?" In-ho gasps out as panic and wishful thinking begin to battle in his mind.

You brush your hand against his and smile with teary eyes. "The doctor is saying I'm pregnant, In-ho. We're going to have a baby."

You’re happy about this. He can’t believe it. Under different circumstances, sure. He could understand you being happy then. But now? With you so sick? Being pregnant now is far too dangerous. Even the doctor suggests a termination, but you won’t listen. You tell your husband you’ll give birth even if it kills you. You’re stubborn. Your husband has never been able to change your mind about anything. But in the following weeks, you’re struggling to find a donor and your condition is getting worse. He borrows as much money as he can, but it still isn’t enough. Then one of his oldest vendors hears about the situation and offers to help. So he borrows money from them. But people see it as a bribe and he gets fired from his job. He had devoted his entire youth to it. He’s desperate. Desperate enough to do something terrible. An irrevocable betrayal.

The first scare is...relatively simple, in retrospect. That night, In-ho comes home to you, perfect and lovely, preparing a meal meant to be shared. He doesn’t have much time to stay before he has to leave for “work” once more, but just seeing you in your shared dingy little kitchen creating something with him in mind makes his heart skip a beat in his chest. It’s a wonderfully simple moment the two of you spend together, holding hands like lovestruck teenagers across the table while you eat. As he’s preparing to depart, you sit by the window and sip at a glass of your favorite non-alcoholic beverage, illuminated by the lights of the city. In-ho is certain he's never seen you more beautiful. You take another sip of your drink before a strange expression crosses your features. It’s mostly an unreadable expression, but there’s the undercurrent of something...sad. It’s something In-ho has never really seen before, and it makes the first tendrils of anxiety curl in his stomach.

"Darling? Is something wrong?" he asks, walking over to where you sit.

"No, no, not at all," you assure him. When you look up at him, the twinge of sadness is already gone. "I just had...a strange thought, that's all. I'm being silly." You reach over and place your hand on his cheek. He can’t help but nuzzle into the simple touch and press a kiss to your soft palm. "Go," you say comfortingly. "Work hard, do good."

In-ho manages a smile and places his hand over yours for a lingering moment before pulling away. "I’ll see you soon, my love."

The two of you share a smile before he turns to go. He’s halfway to the door when he hears your voice again. And what you say makes his blood run cold. To you, it’s something so innocent, so innocuous. But In-ho almost drops what he’s holding. Just from that one sentence, he can tell you’re worsening. He scrambles to remember when your last injection was, and his mind is already cataloguing the work he will need to do to prepare your next one. He curses himself internally for letting it go so long, for putting you in this position. You need your medicine and he’s going to get it for you.

In-ho almost forgets about that incident by the time something else happens.

You place his hand over your stomach, encouraging him to splay his fingers out as if you’re expecting something to happen from his touch. "Do you feel anything? Anything out of the ordinary?"

"Not at all." He tilts his head at you with confusion and a hint of worry. "Why? Are you feeling all right, is everything okay, darling?"

"No, In-ho, everything is fine!" You still hold his hand over your stomach, gently stroking over the skin on the back of it with your thumb to reassure him. "I feel great. You...didn't notice anything?"

He shakes his head, brows furrowed but relishing in the feel of your soft skin.

"Oh," you say with an edge of...disappointment? "I guess it must be too early, then. I thought I felt movement. Must’ve been phantom kicks.” The smile on your features steadily grows nevertheless.

His throat tightens and he feels the beginnings of hot tears prick behind his eyes, so he has to look away from you. All he can hear is the blood rushing through his ears, your words falling away somewhere behind him. Imagining you pregnant was one thing. It gave him a private thrill, the idea of having a family. With you. It was a beautiful fantasy he kept close to his heart, but he knows now that you’re getting further along, that you won’t survive childbirth even if you do manage to carry to term. In the forefront of his mind, he knows that his fantasies of having a child with you has to remain exactly that. Fantasies. At least until your disease is cured or, if it can’t be, then at the very least, he can get you treatment to pull you out of danger and make you healthy again. At a different time, perhaps, your pregnancy would be a joyous moment. How exuberant he would be were things different, to prepare to bring new life into the world. How beautiful you would look, growing with his child, your body undergoing glorious metamorphosis. His child.

But that is not the reality he can live in while you’re still sick. You’re in danger, a danger he helped perpetuate. The thought makes In-ho shudder almost violently. There is no way to guarantee your survival if you go through with this pregnancy, or even the child's survival if you do bring him or her into this world. The thought of you suffering hours of labor, of dying…only for your baby to die after a few feeble hours of breathing in the NICU… That shakes him down to his core, makes him sick to his stomach. It would be better, merciful even, to not introduce a child to this world at this time. It breaks In-ho’s heart to realize, but worse, he’ll have to break yours, too. He can’t just tell you why there’s so much danger in this joy. He tried that when the doctors first gave you the news and advised you to terminate. You wouldn’t listen to him then and it resulted in an argument that he worried would only add too much stress onto you. He pretended to acquiesce to you, telling you that you’re right and together you’ll find a way, you will. There's always hope. As long as you're alive, there's hope, right? And you told him yes. There's hope. And that was the end of the argument. If he brings it up again, what will you think? You definitely won’t change your mind now. Talking to you will get him nowhere. He knows that. He has to do what he has to do.

It isn’t hard to get the pill. It’s a simple thing, a beige color, unassuming overall. Yet, it seems to have the weight of a brick in In-ho’s coat pocket. Since your pregnancy reveal, you had managed to find books on prenatal care and baby names and were going through them religiously. It’s...painful for In-ho to reconcile your eagerness, your pure unadulterated excitement, with what he’s about to do. It’s necessary, he knows that, and he hopes you will understand that. Eventually. He trudges into the house and sure enough, there you are sitting at the kitchen table, flipping through the pages of one of your new baby name books with a highlighter. When you hear the door close, you smile up at In-ho and go to stand to greet him.

"Stay seated, darling, it's fine," he assures you, walking over and kissing your temple.

You giggle at him. "In-ho, I'm only three months along at most, I won't overexert myself by getting up to welcome my wonderful husband home."

"I know, I know." He plants another kiss on your forehead before he walks into the kitchen. "Hungry, my love?"

"I can make dinner, you've been working so hard lately. All that overtime at the precinct."

"Just tonight, honey. Let me do this for you. For...both of you."

Maybe it’s an underhanded manipulation tactic, but it works. You smile with a dreamy look in your eyes, turning back to your book.

In-ho isn’t much of a cook, but he grabbed a few fresh fruits and vegetables the last time he went out for groceries, purposefully so. With a blender he hasn't touched in years, he’s able to whip up a basic green smoothie. He hesitates when he reaches for the pill in his pocket. In that moment, he hears something from behind him: you begin humming to yourself. When he listens closer, he realizes the song is an easily recognizable lullaby. Nausea swirls in his gut and he has to fight the urge to look back at you. If he looks, he won’t be able to go through with it. He crushes the pill into powder and sprinkles it into the mixture, stirring it with a spoon before he can think about it anymore. It’s blended so much that you won’t feel or taste it at all. You won’t notice. When it’s finished, In-ho pushes a glass towards you and is greeted with a curious smile.

"Trying to keep me strong and healthy for the baby?" you tease. You smile warmly. "Thank you, honey. It looks great." You reach out and start to drink without hesitation.

It’s over. In-ho feels like he can breathe again, at least for the moment.

It doesn’t last long.

In-ho goes away to “work”, hoping you’ll be asleep while the pill works. He’s ready to be there for you once he returns, to be with you in any grief you feel.

The house is eerily silent and dark when he returns. In-ho climbs the stairs, eager to slip into bed with you for just a few moments of fitful rest. Just some time to be with you, before he has to face your hurt. The bedroom is empty when he walks in. The bedsheets on your side are haphazardly tossed aside, and you’re nowhere to be seen. He walks over and flips on the nightstand light, and notices out of the corner of his eye a discoloration in the sheets. A large stain rests in the middle of the bed, right where you would be lying, and when In-ho touches it, the tips of his fingers come back red. That’s when he notices the door to the master bathroom is closed, and a bit of light shines from underneath. If he focuses on the silence of the room, he can hear...something, from the other side. He makes his way over, slowly, a death march to the door. He reaches up to knock, but stops when he hears the faint sound again. Tiny gasps, hiccups. Sniffling. Muffled sobs. His heart shatters all over again.

"Darling?" He eventually calls, giving the door a strong but soft knock. "Darling, I'm coming in."

"In-ho?" You gasp out, your voice heavy with tears. "In-ho, no, please, don't-" you dissolve into more pronounced sobs, and In-ho hears something clatter to the floor.

"My love, please let me-"

"I said no!"

He freezes. He has never once heard you like this, the agonized sharpness turned to venom in your words. Not even when you were arguing with him in the doctor’s office over whether to terminate your pregnancy or not. He doesn’t try to knock or speak again, but he cannot bring his feet to drag his body from the door. He ends up sitting with his back against the door, listening to you cry. Alone. He doesn’t get any rest that night. Eventually, In-ho has to regretfully rise. Shady characters are in need of him once again and, in exchange, they’ll give him money he so desperately needs. It’s through such shady characters he was able to procure the medications that you needed so far. How he was able to get the pill to terminate your pregnancy. As he gathers his coat to go, he hears the door creak open, and turns to look at you. It’s like seeing a ghost. You’re pale, eyes red and ringed with dark circles, and even the way you hold yourself is as if you’re being dragged down to the earth. There’s a moment where the two of you simply exist in the same space. In-ho watches your features for even the most minuscule change, and it feels like hours pass as he waits. Eventually, you sigh in an attempt to speak, but your voice shakes with even the simple release of breath. In-ho takes a single step forward and waits again. This time, you meet him halfway, but keep your eyes firmly down and away from his own. Is it shame that motivates you to divert your gaze? The shame that rightfully only he should be feeling? The shame that is, in fact, burning in his core as he observes how much grief is weighing you down? You make an attempt to speak again, but just shake your head. You press your eyes closed to keep from outright sobbing but still stray tears escape. In-ho reaches up and brushes them away, letting his knuckles brush against your cheeks. The contact of his skin against yours shatters the tension and you walk forward into his arms, burying your face against his chest. He holds you close, knowing he’s wholly undeserving of the beautiful creature that is his wife seeking his arms for comfort. He allows himself a single tear that falls into your hair, not any more than that. How dare he compare his grief to yours, how dare he try and appropriate your sorrow? He can almost hear your voice in his head: How dare you? How dare you? Somehow, the embrace ends and he’s helping you into bed after stripping the bloodied sheets and putting on fresh ones. He pulls the blankets around your unmoving form, tucking you in and making sure you’re warm enough.

"I have to go," he whispers regretfully, not even sure if you’ll respond.

And you don’t. You don’t even look at him but, before he leaves, he kisses your lips and your hairline then steals a glance back at you. Your eyes fall closed, and silent tears are streaming down your cheeks as you cry yourself back to sleep.

But it doesn’t end there. You’re hospitalized shortly after and he’s driven to compete in the squid games after being recruited. The games are his last hope. He really needs that money even if it’s blood money. He needs that money to save you since he couldn’t save both you and your child. He could only save one. He wants to return home to you so he can get you the operation and medication you need to ensure you could one day have a healthy and safe pregnancy. He knows you still want a child despite the traumatic loss you suffered. You’ll never know what he did. After he won, you’re still in the hospital, waiting for him. As part of his reward for winning, a donor is found for you on top of the cash prize of 45.6 billion won. But he can’t go back to his old life after all the bridges that have been burned behind him. But he wants - no, needs to keep you. If there’s anyone or anything from his old life he will never let go of, it’s you. Bound by his duties as the Front Man for the games and his marriage vows to you, he has no other choice but to go undercover as a doctor and create a diversion to kidnap you from the hospital so he can whisk you away to an unknown and private island where you can receive the best medical attention for your condition. Somehow, police have already been notified of his activity and what he plans to do.

“He’s in the building, posing as a doctor. He’s armed and has already killed five people. Evacuation is underway. We have to go,” an attending physician says.

“No. An evacuation is exactly what he wants. The staff bailed when the alarms went off. This is a deliberate diversion to get everybody out and away from her. He’s here for her. We can't leave her alone in her room. She’ll die if we leave her alone here or if he takes her,” your personal doctor insists.

“So we take her with us. Come on. Careful.”

“Thank you,” you say weakly as your doctor helps you out of bed and into a wheelchair.

You don’t get very far when you’re stopped by your husband standing in the doorway to the ward you’re kept in, dressed in black scrubs, black gloves, and a medical face mask, just like the police said he’d be. He’s holding a Heckler & Koch MP5A3 sub-machine gun that’s strapped over his shoulder and across his body. “Ah... I'll take it from here.”

“In-ho… In-ho, listen to me. We're trying to help her.”

“You're killing her.”

“No. No, In-ho.”

“In-ho...” you rasp, your voice and body incredibly weak from your disease. Your eyes water when you look at him. Despite his black attire, you can still see the blood on him and you know it’s not his. You’re terrified.

“I understand why you're doing this,” your doctor tries to sympathize.

“I'm saving her life.”

“At the cost of how many other lives?”

“Too many to turn back now. As soon as I've done what I need to do, I'll give myself up. But now we have to leave.”

“In-ho, listen to me. I'm her doctor. I know her history. I’ve known her her entire adult life. If we move her now, she might die.”

“Her doctor. Good. You're coming with us to push the wheelchair. Let's go.”

“No. No way!” The attending physician tries to stop this from happening.

“I'm going. She's my patient,” your doctor insists.

“I can't let you do that. I'll go.”

“It's not your call. She needs me.”

“I'm not gonna hurt her. I don't want to hurt anyone, unless I have to.” Your husband insists.

“I'm going.”

“In-ho, please...don't do this. Please, she’s pregnant.” Pregnant just like I was, you want to say, but you don’t have the strength. Your voice shakes like a rattle as you struggle to breathe while you beg for him to not do this, to leave your doctor out of it, trying to get through to him, to get him to see reason.

“Honey, don't worry. It's all under control.”

“Help...” you beg, your body already feeling worse.

“We have to go. Now.”

You sob when you hear bullets go off, your husband having shot dead the attending physician left behind. He can’t afford to leave any extra witnesses.

“In-ho, please think about this. How will you take care of her if you're in prison?” Your doctor asks as she follows behind him and pushes your wheelchair.

“I won't. You will. The city will. It's the law. As long as she's legally alive, she's a ward of the city and the city has to keep her alive and safe.”

“So I shall undergo countless operations and spend days or weeks in medically-induced comas only to wake up one day with you in prison or dead? A life alone isn't one that I want. There must be another way. Please, In-ho,” you beg him again to reconsider, but he doesn’t listen.

Holding your doctor at gunpoint in her car, he gives her directions and orders her to drive exactly where he tells her to go. You reach docks where a speedboat is waiting for you with masked and armed guards on board. He orders your doctor out of the car and to board the boat at gunpoint, then carefully lifts you into his arms bridal style and carries you onto the boat himself. You’re unconscious for most of the voyage, unable to bear the stress of the situation anymore, though it doesn’t take too long to get to your destination. Against your will, you’re taken to the island. You’re given the surgeries you need, the treatments and medications you need, etc. but despite the success of your operations and treatments, recovery still takes months. Most of it is spent on bedrest and In-ho is still hovering over you whenever he returns to your shared personal quarters, asking both you and your doctor how you’re faring, if you’re eating well and sleeping well, etc. as he comes to your bedside and rests his hand on your head to pet your hair and rub your cheek. You feel guilty that your doctor has been held captive alongside you all these months, kept by your side to attend your every need whenever In-ho is called away and can’t do it himself. You’re terrified of what might happen to her if you were to suddenly take a turn for the worst. It’s not rational, but you have a horrible sinking feeling in your gut that if anything involving you were to go wrong, In-ho would blame her, even if it’s something out of her control. And that he’d kill her if you were to die under her watch.

One day, when you’re alone, you confess to your doctor that she may be able to escape.

“I heard In-ho talking when he thought I was asleep. There’s speedboats and oxygen tanks docked on the coast of the island not far from here. If you hurry, you can take one and make it out before he gets back,” you plead to her.

“I'm not leaving you,” she insists, holding your hand to comfort you.

“This must be very stressful for you and your baby. And you’re almost due.”

“We're fine.”

“Could I have some water?” You ask instead, and she walks away to grab a glass and fill it with water from the sink. She hands it to you. “Thank you. You’ve heard him all these months. He's not a bad man at heart. You’ll get out of here alive, I promise. I’ll talk to In-ho. I’ll do everything in my power to make it so. If I’m not standing on the shoreline and waving you off as I watch you board a boat headed for home, then I’m not breathing at all.”

“Don’t talk like that. You’re going to be fine. The surgeries have been successes so far and your body has accepted the new organ with minimal issues. There have been no signs of rejection.”

“When you’re sent home, you have to tell them that he’s not a bad man. That he only wanted to save me because he loves me. Please.”

“I will.”

“And please tell them that I'm very sorry for my part in this. I saw the man that he was becoming and I did nothing. Because I loved him. You know what that's like, don't you?”

“I do.”

“Thank you. You've been very kind. Can you…would you mind if I ask… Have you picked out any names for your baby?”

You’re desperate to talk about something else, to think about something else. Something happy for her even if it’s bittersweet for you. You need a distraction from your current predicament. When she tells you about the baby’s gender (if she knows it) and the names she likes and has been considering, you smile and tell her about the names you highlighted in the baby name book you had at home. You’re not sure if you would’ve wanted to know the gender or be surprised. You talk about the dreams for the future you once had, whether you wanted your first to be a boy or girl, if you had a preference or not, etc.

During your recovery, your husband still acts as the Front Man for subsequent annual games and you’re kept in the dark. He’s in deeper than he was when he won the games. He’s now taken to arranging the games and acting as the Host following the original mastermind's death. He has continuously run the games for several years. It’s now 2024. Your doctor was set free and sent back home before her due date after all the precautions were taken to ensure she couldn’t find or disclose the location of the island, including having her being closely monitored by the pink guards, ready to shoot her dead and dispose of her body if she ever spoke out. But she’s kept quiet and gone along with the story that you and In-ho are dead, because of you. Because of you, she’s still alive and got to have her baby. And you? You’re still on the island. You understand that recovery for your condition could sometimes take more than a year, but you’ve been here nearly ten years. You can’t leave without his permission. You’ve tried more than once. Rather than tell you there’s no life for you to go back to since the world thinks you’re both dead, he keeps you here for so long by lying to you over and over and over. If he told you the truth, how could he admit to any of it without losing you? It’s his duty to protect you, the love of his life. Even if it’s painful. This relentless drive to get what he wants was apparent even before becoming the Front Man, as there were many self-help books on achieving one's desires in his old apartment.

But disruptions to his facilitation of the 36th iteration of the games have forced his hand to resort toward more drastic measures. As retaliation for Gi-hun's continued defiance against him for three years, he repeatedly tries to break him by forcing him to participate in the game. He joins the games specifically to break Gi-hun's spirit, and intentionally works his way into his inner circle, with no indication that he truly sees him as a friend, all to successfully sabotage his efforts to bring the game down by force. When Gi-hun's rebellion is successfully suppressed, the Front Man spares his life while personally ordering the execution of Jung-bae in front of him and telling him it’s the consequence of trying to play the hero. At the same time he’s undercover as a player, he’s still fulfilling his duties as your husband through proxy, having the pink guards give you whatever you need and keeping an eye on you so you don’t learn too much. He’s hidden the remote control he uses to watch the games on the big screen so you won’t know. But what if you’re stronger, smarter, and more resilient than you let on and manage to gather very valuable information by eavesdropping on In-ho’s conversations by feigning being asleep whenever he checks on you, sneaking away and stealthing around the building, etc., all to slowly discover the horrific truth your husband so desperately has kept hidden from you for the last ten years?

13. Like above with The Recruiter, a scenario very much like the Korean thriller movie “Addicted”. You’re the long time girlfriend of Jun-ho and get married. While he and In-ho are very different as people, and the only thing they really have in common is that they’re both cops, they are very close despite only being stepbrothers. You’ve also been very close to In-ho, though you always thought of your relationship as strictly friendly due to him being your brother-in-law and himself having a wife that you believe he loves. You’re there for In-ho and his wife when she gets sick and she views you as a sister not just because of your relation as sister-in-laws but because you’re always there to support her and do what you can to care for her and comfort her, from little things to big things, especially whenever In-ho is away due to his job. He and his wife can always count on you. You visit her more in the hospital than her own husband does. You’re the only other person besides In-ho to learn of her pregnancy and when she confides in you about it, she swears you to secrecy in case the worst happens. She tells you that in case she dies, she doesn’t want Jun-ho or his parents to know and feel even worse. In-ho tries to get you to talk to his wife, to try to convince her to change her mind and terminate the pregnancy, but she’s stubborn and won’t listen to anyone, not even you, despite your pleads that In-ho is only worried for her health and she can always try again after she’s better. Sometime in 2015, In-ho goes missing for a week. Neither you, Jun-ho, or his wife can get a hold of him. You’re all worried. You were always concerned for his safety while on the job and even his wife asked him not to be away from home so much anymore, but he’s just as stubborn as she was. You can understand that he needed more money to help her, but you grew concerned that he was putting himself at risk. And when she worsens and later succumbs to her acute cirrhosis, you’re devastated. Even more so when In-ho returns home and you have to break the news to him. You’re there for In-ho, taking him through the worst of his grief. In subsequent years, he asks you to go with him when he visits his wife’s grave on her death day to bring her fresh flowers, etc.

But then he goes missing again. For real this time.

Your husband becomes so obsessed with finding In-ho that he neglects you. You don’t divorce, but your marriage is deteriorating and while a part of you still loves him, the spark is slowly flickering out. You feel less like a wife and more like a single woman as time goes on. With a heavy heart, you carry on with your life and try to move on and find ways to be happy despite all the loss you’ve suffered. But your depression worsens when your husband stops coming home and stops answering your calls. It’s like he’s also vanished into thin air, exactly like In-ho. You can barely stand to be in your house anymore and often spend time outside or in hotels. One night, you have to hail a taxi when your car breaks down. The speeding taxi crashes into a black van, and while the driver is seriously injured, possibly even killed on impact, you’re only knocked unconscious with minor injuries.

Unbeknownst to you, this is a deliberate and orchestrated car crash, part of a plan to kidnap you and bring you to an unknown island. Under the Front Man’s orders, you’re sedated during the whole transportation process. You later wake up in an unfamiliar room, strapped down to a bed. You freak out, but freeze in shock when In-ho enters the room and comes to your bedside. He looks older, which is to be expected since you haven’t seen him in over five years, but it’s definitely him. He calms you down from your lashing out and panic attack, explaining the situation in a way that’ll keep you in the dark about what’s really going on but also serve his ulterior motives for why he brought you here. He takes care of you while you recover from the minor injuries you suffered in the collision, nothing major besides a concussion and a minor head wound and other scrapes and bruises. He tells you a fabricated but believable story about why he went missing, which includes that Jun-ho is dead, that he was shot and fell into the sea while on a job. To “prove it” he shows you doctored but eerily convincing confidential police files and death records from when that random body was found with Jun-ho’s ID on him. It was so damaged it was unrecognizable in pictures. With evidence in front of you, you have no choice but to believe In-ho and everything he tells you. Still, you’re devastated by this revelation. But he swears to take you through the worst of your grief, just like you did for him when his wife was sick and died.

Years go by of you living on the island, still kept in the dark. Could be through the use of drugs to make you disoriented and confused and blurring that edge of reality, gaslighting, and other manipulation tactics. When he does take you outside his private quarters to get some fresh air, it’s always brief and he stealthily knocks you out so you don’t get a full grasp of where you really are. You never know how you got there or how you got back. It’s so subtle you hardly notice and think you just fell asleep. You and In-ho eventually share a slow, emotional night together and have sex after the tearful revelation that you’ve fallen in love. You didn’t confess to him your feelings sooner because you felt so guilty due to being married to his brother even if he’s dead and you’re a widow now, and because In-ho’s wife was like your best friend. You felt awful for “stealing” her husband even though she died and he’s a widower who suffered the same loss you did. He helps you to overcome that guilt and you start to live life together as a happy and loving couple, despite the strange and unusual circumstances. In time, you become pregnant with In-ho’s child. One day you’re not feeling well, so you decide to go back to your private quarters to get some rest after he takes you outside for fresh air. While you’re there, a package addressed to In-ho arrives. You open it and find a necklace which you remember In-ho had given to his wife. You read the accompanying note from her, saying that she cannot wear this necklace anymore as it wasn’t meant for her and she cannot understand In-ho’s crazy love for you.

Frantic, you snoop around the other doors and find an underground chamber. You dig through In-ho’s secret workroom and find a number of hidden photos of yourself that were taken by him. You realize that In-ho had loved you before you married his brother and before he married his wife. You also find a notebook that In-ho wrote about loving you and being happy because he is able to watch you and live with you through his brother, Jun-ho. Through these secret documents, you discover your husband is possibly alive, having only been shot in the shoulder by In-ho himself and fallen into the sea. He lied to you just so that he could have you to himself. You were talking about getting married because you’re so in love and you thought it’s what Jun-ho and In-ho’s wife would want, at least for the sake of your unborn child. You were so happy mere hours ago and now, you’re crying sorrowfully. You don’t know what to do with the new information you’ve uncovered. Luckily, through some miracle, you’re not caught by In-ho. You put back everything exactly the way you found it as you’ve spent enough time in his personal office at home and remembered how he organizes his things, even down to which direction he sets down the phone receiver.

Do you take him aside and ask him various questions about his wife and where you are and when you can go home? Every time you tried in the past, he’d change the subject after giving you non-definite answers. Do you continue to pretend that Jun-ho is dead and you’ve moved on despite knowing the truth? You love In-ho and you know he loves you but this…this is much more than you could’ve ever imagined. You couldn’t have ever expected this. It’s been revealed that In-ho loved you even before Jun-ho, and had for the entire time you were with his brother. In-ho also confessed in a secret letter to Jun-ho that he’d never send that he made use of all of yours and his brother's secrets to "transform" himself into the perfect man for you. He tells his brother that you will forever love him as your husband. He apologizes and asks his brother never to forgive him for his deeds.

14. In-ho’s wife managed to successfully give birth to a healthy baby girl despite dying in the process. That baby girl is you, born sometime in 2015. When In-ho returned home and went to the hospital his wife was staying in after winning the 28th annual squid games, he received the bittersweet news that his wife was dead, having died in childbirth, but that you, his baby daughter, was alive and would be fine. You were either being kept in the hospital still or staying with Jun-ho and his parents. When he saw you and held you for the first time, he almost didn’t want to let go. He didn’t want to set you down or let you out of his sight. He gave you the name his wife picked. It’s now 2024 and you’re eight or nine years old. What would your life be like? Would In-ho take you with him to the island from infancy to keep you safe and under his watchful eye while he acts as Front Man/Host for the squid games because you’re the last living piece of his wife that he has and he doesn’t want to ever lose you or miss out on any milestone in your life? What would it be like, effectively being kept prisoner on the island but kept in the dark and oblivious about what he does? Having no real friends to play with except maybe the Pink Guards who are under strict orders to play with you or keep an eye on you? Or would he leave you to be raised by his parents and Jun-ho? Or would he keep your existence secret from Jun-ho and his parents and come up with a secret third option that entails you having a normal-ish life with other “family” of his that he personally arranged, but he visits you or sends you messages on a very special encrypted phone or through the mail through mysterious envelopes without return addresses on them whenever he can, even if it’s at the most random of times? Would you know he’s your father from the beginning or would you learn this fact later in life?

OR

For a darker and more fucked up version: What if Jun-hee isn’t the first heavily pregnant player to compete in the games? Sometime during his years working as the Front Man and overseeing the games, he kept a close eye on a heavily pregnant contestant. After she was shot and killed for failing a game (the guard responsible making sure to avoid her stomach and shoot her in the head), her body was quickly loaded up into a box and taken away. The guards working in the morgue only had about ten minutes if they wanted to save the baby growing inside her. And they were under clear and strict orders by The Front Man to do so. A post-mortem c-section was performed and, when they cut her open, they pulled out a crying and screaming baby girl. The baby was cleaned up and checked by the doctor stationed on the island, then wrapped in a blanket and handed over to the Front Man per his orders/request. And that’s how you came to be his daughter. He’s your father now. And as far as you’ll ever know, he’s your biological father who solely raised you after your mother, his wife, died in childbirth from complications of acute cirrhosis of the liver.

15. Being in a poly relationship with the Front Man and The Recruiter would include? I don’t know any specific plot ideas exactly or how you got to be their personal whore/toy, but just imagine being a sugar baby or lover to both of these men that are two different flavors of DILF. You’re given everything from clothes, lingerie, and jewelry to a car and a house, as well as all the money you could ever need to pay for whatever it is you need - college tuition, medical bills, etc., even if it’s not for you but for one of your loved ones. In exchange, you’re on call for whenever either or both of them are in need of you and your services. You do whatever they ask of you, no matter what it is. Doesn’t matter what time it is, you go to them whenever they call. (Or maybe The Recruiter would go so far as to having a key to your house and letting himself in through the door or through a window, without giving you prior warning he’s coming. He comes whenever he feels like it. Could be any time of the day. And if you’re not home when he gets there, he’ll call you and tell you to get your cute ass home. Now. Then he’ll make himself comfortable in your house while he’s waiting for you. But you know that the longer you make him wait, the worse your punishment will be. Maybe a stipulation to having the house is leaving the doors and windows unlocked. If it’s late at night, he’d just sneak into your bedroom while you’re asleep and rouse you awake by going down on you or something. Classic Somnophilia.)

You either drive to them yourself or a car and/or a boat is waiting for you to be picked up. Imagine being squeezed in between these men like a sandwich or being in an Eiffel Tower with them, whether or not either or both of them are covered in blood from shooting players. (They wouldn’t care if you were on your monthly cycle. If anything, your blood would turn them on even more.) Imagine getting fucked on the hood of or inside the white limousine. Imagine them taking turns to watch while the other one fucks you. Imagine them turning fucking you into all kinds of thrilling and borderline dangerous sex games along the same vein of the actual squid games. Like they tell you do something under a time limit and if you fail and the timer runs out, they won’t kill you, but they’ll punish you sexually. And sometimes their punishments are so intense they make you wish you were dead because being denied your orgasms over and over and over is a special kind of torture and the coiling in your gut from your building orgasm that’s unable to be released is almost unbearable. What if you’ve been at this “job” so long that it gets to a point where In-ho wants to give you a “raise” and get you pregnant because he wants a child after the death of his wife and their unborn child and he may or may not have a pregnancy kink?

That is all for now. Thank you for listening to my brainrot.

[starkeyisthelastname]

@rvfecamerons has asked me to write this amazing idea she came up with. I hope this didn’t disappoint. Thank you again babe! 💕💕💕

🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺

You had never really been much of a troublemaker, always listening to your elders and being respectful to everyone, even those less fortunate than you. After you turned 19, you started to become more independent. Going out to parties, taking trips to the mainland to shop by yourself, and even to her dismay, talking to boys.

Rafe had been the one to suggest getting the AirTag to put in your car. He wanted you to always be safe and to ease her worries, at least that's what he told his wife. The real reason being much darker than that. He had been sickly obsessed with you since the moment he laid eyes on your pretty self. No boy was going to touch you as long as he had control of it, and getting the AirTag installed was just the kind of control he needed.

For the last month, he had been stalking everywhere you went through the handy app on his phone. Even got in his own car and drove by a few places to check and see if the damn thing was working. Your innocent little self didn’t suspect a thing either, which is what made you so naive to the situation.

It had been like any other night. Your mother and you had gone out to dinner while Rafe worked late. She being oblivious to the fact you were texting your guy friend, who had invited you over. She never thought you would actually sneak out, you were too much of a sweetheart to do that. It was much to her surprise though, when your room was empty and car was gone at 1:00 in the morning. She immediately thought of the AirTag, Rafe had installed a moth prior, running back to their shared room.

This was the moment he had been waiting for. To catch you being the little slut he knew you were. The GPS on, he zoomed towards your location until the icy white Mercedes with a bedazzled North Carolina tag came into view. The only car there. He shut the truck off, letting his muscular 6’2 frame stalk towards the door. His usual light blue eyes, turned pitch black as soon as he barged through the door. “Bozo’s” tongue down your throat as you laid on the couch.

Gripping the shirt, the boy wore, Rafe teared him off of you. His fist immediately connecting with the boy’s jaw. You sat still, in complete shock by multiple things. Your head was spinning, how did your step-dad find you? How did someone punch one time to have teeth falling out? You knew that your step-father had a violent past but to quite literally see the boy you liked getting beaten to death, had not only scared but something else. Something that made your princess parts tingle.

“Rafe.” You whispered, the boy you had been making out with now bruised and battered as your step-father towered above him.

One look up and Rafe’s hand was gripping your arm, yanking you off the couch. He took your keys and purse in the other, dragging you towards the still open door. You winced, trying to get out of his grip but ultimately failed as he literally threw you in the passenger seat of his truck.

The tires screeched as he sped off, zooming down the empty roads of Kildare. His jaw was tight, the vein in his forehead protruding as he boiled in anger. “I knew that innocent act you pull all the time was a load of shit.” His voice so low it made goosebumps rise on your skin.

“You think I’m stupid, huh? That I don’t know you are a fucking slut. You can hide it from your mom, but not from me. I could tell you were a slut from the moment I met you. Batting those ridiculous lashes at me.”

“Not a slut..” You mumbled, looking down. He was berating you with every sentence he spoke, his words nasty and degrading.

The laugh that came from him was sarcastic almost menacing, he glanced over at you for a moment, truck swerving in the process. “You know I told your mom that girls like you need some discipline. Been too fucking spoiled all your life.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat, tearing your gaze away as you tried to stay relaxed in the car ride from hell. You noticed Rafe turning a few streets too early, making your frown. The street leading towards Figure 8 was nothing but trees, making it dark and desolate. You were about to ask what he was doing when the car came to a hault. It came too fast, one second you were being yanked out of your seat and the next you were being pushed against the bed of the truck.

“Rafe.. what are you doing?” You whispered, feeling the cool air hit your exposed bottom from the short skirt you wore.

“Shut up and listen.” His voice boomed, a hard smack to your ass from his hand, making you squeak out. “I’m a proactive type of person. So that means when I say I’m gonna discipline you, you are going to get disciplined.”

You weren’t expecting him to spank you, your ass cheek now stinging from just one hit. You hated yourself and more importantly your cunt for clenching around nothing at the pure wrongness of this. You felt just how damp your panties were getting, wishing you hadn’t worn a skirt or better yet had not even snuck out that night.

The sound of a zipper being pulled down and the clank of a belt, had you turning your head. It was a quick look as your head was roughly pushed down onto the hard plastic of the bed of his truck.

“Rafe..” You whimpered, head burning. “No..”

The taller man behind you, yanked your skirt up, tearing your soaked panties in one go. The dark sounding chuckle behind you was all you needed to hear to know that something bad was about to happen.

“You wanna act like a slut. You get treated like a slut.” His voice rough as he shoved his length inside you with no warning. “Show you what real dick is, since you wanna find out so bad.”

He was huge. Bigger than anything you ever could have imagined. You had only lost your virginity a few months prior and hadn’t had sex since. The burn and stretch to your hole was brutal, tears pooling in your eyes from the pain. The control he had over you though was powerful and you couldn’t bring yourself to fight back.

“What was that earlier? Not a slut.” He growled, yanking your head up by the hair. His hand came to grip your jaw tightly, dark blue eyes boring into your soul. “Why you dripping down your thighs, huh?”

Truth be told, you didn’t know why. Your step father was gorgeous to look at, and a part of you didn’t want to ever disappoint him. That was no reason to be soaking his cock though as he held you down against your will.

“Cat got your tongue?” He laughed, ramming inside you at a cruel pace, making you take his monster of a dick.

“Too.. too much.. please.” You begged, your lower stomach on fire as your first orgasm was already approaching. His hand moved down to your throat, clasping it in a tight grip. You felt your oxygen being cut, the lightheadedness coming to your brain as he squeezed hard.

“Awe don’t please me, pretty girl. You shouldn’t have been such a disrespectful little bitch, if you didn’t want to learn this kind of lesson.” Rafe’s words making you clench around his cock.

You tried to cry out, the pleasure of him taking over your body whether you wanted it to come or not. You quite literally thought that this was it. Being strangled to death, while your step-dad’s dick was buried inside you. But as you came down from your orgasm, the grip from your neck released, making you gasp for breath.

“I sure do hope that you don’t think this is over.” He breathed heavily. “Your daddy’s girl now little bitch. Got that? I catch you fucking around with another clown, I will kill you.”

You knew he had never been more serious.

[octuscle]

Hey there! I'm having a debate with my roommate and wondering if you can help settle it. He says that if you gave someone the body of a jock, without any mental changes, they'll eventually start acting like a jock anyway. I don't think that's true. Just because you have muscles and look like a jock doesn't mean you'll start acting like one, right? We were thinking of trying to set up an experiment for our honor's thesis and wanted your input, thanks!

Are you really sure you want to go through with it? We are happy to do it. I'll create a preset for you that only changes your body. But really. 1.90 m tall. 140 kg of pure muscle mass. But everything else stays the same. To be honest, you don't look like you're ready for it. But it's up to you. I can only recommend that you are in a safe and, above all, unobserved place when you activate the preset.

You take a deep breath. You stand naked in the middle of your room. Next to you, you have laid out a pair of tracksuit bottoms, a tank top, a jockstrap, a pair of socks and a pair of sneakers. You can only hope that the clothes will fit your new self. 3. 2. 1. enter!

Wow! Holy shit! Now that was quick and without a transition. You look down at the floor from a slightly greater height. And when you look down, all you see are pecs. Fucking huge pecs. You need a mirror. Phew! Very slowly! The new body works a little differently than the old one… Your center of gravity is much higher up. You stand in front of the mirror. This no longer has anything to do with you. It's more Greek demigod than human. Your cock is getting hard. A huge cock that fits this huge body. You never wank. Especially not in the middle of your room. But now you have to. Not for long. And a huge load lands on the mirror and the floor. Yes, I've changed a few details apart from the height and muscle mass. You've already noticed one thing. You'll notice the others too.

You're convinced that the new body won't change anything. So you act as you always have. First of all, you clean up the mess. You are manically clean and tidy. Then you put on your clothes. The shoes are a bit tight, but otherwise everything fits pretty well. So off you go to the library. After all, your honors thesis isn't going to write itself.

Iris and Rita at the information desk didn't recognize you when you greeted them. They looked at you as if you were an alien when you wished them a good morning. You sat down at your regular place in the library. You like routines. You started working on your thesis outline when Vincent came over. Vincent always sits three tables behind you. Nice guy, similarly obsessive as you. He clears his throat and says that you can't sit here, the seat is taken. Actually, you should have said something along the lines of "Vincent, don't you recognize me, it's me!". But somehow you can't help it. You have to try it out. You cross your muscular arms behind your head, look deep into his eyes and just ask who cares. Vincent retreats like a beaten dog. Three minutes later, you have a WhatsApp message: "There's some stupid musclehead sitting in your seat!" You reply that it's okay, you're not on campus for a few days for empirical studies anyway.

But you're not as productive as usual. Your new body is keeping you busier than you thought. It feels so good to tense your muscles. Your hard cock is constantly leaking precum and is always half stiff. Shit, after an hour you have to jerk off. Fuck, you make quite a mess in the toilet. You try to clean everything up with toilet paper. When you come out of the stall, a student is standing at the urinal, looking at you and wanking. Get out of here quickly, you think to yourself.

The incident is definitely worth recording. After all, you've never experienced this before. But it was hot. As you type out your thoughts, your stomach begins to growl. So loud that Vicent hisses "Pssst". It's actually too early for lunch. But the canteen is about to open. So you're one of the first in the queue. You can hardly wait. And you heap heaps of food onto your tray. You're so hungry.

The weather is good, you sit down at a table in the sun and, ignoring all the table manners, you wolf down your food. Suddenly you hear a voice shouting "Hey, guys, there are empty seats here with the big boy!" You look up. A couple of idiots from the football team are standing at your table. "Dude, okay if we join you?" asks one of the guys, who seems to be some kind of leader. "Sure thing," you say with your mouth full, spitting a bit of your chicken across the table. "Cool," he replies, giving you a fist bump, which you return somewhat hesitantly and also a little awkwardly. And before you know it, you're sitting in a cloud of sweat, testosterone and stupid comments.

You start talking to the boys more for scientific reasons. They ask if you're Fresman because they've never seen you before. You say that you're actually studying somewhere else, but you're here to work on your Honor's thesis. The leader spits his Coke across the table. "Fuck, dude! You already have a degree? In what? Lifting iron?" Everyone laughs. Very loudly. You too. It's actually really funny with the boys…

The boys go to the gym after lunch. I wonder if you're coming too. You don't even think about it. You just say that you haven't got anything to change into. Everyone laughs and asks if anyone is interested. So you go along. It's a field study, you think to yourself. You're observing everything very closely. You don't want to attract negative attention. The processes seem very simple. You copy what you see the boys doing. You even enjoy it. You work up a sweat. You forget the time. The others are gone at some point. You're still here. You look in the mirror. Your long, sweaty hair falls across your forehead. Your friends all have much shorter hair. It's also more practical when working out. You look at your watch. Shit!!!!! You have to get your stuff from the library before it closes. Trevor, sitting at the information desk, doesn't recognize you either. It's already very empty when you pack up your things. Vincent is still there, mumbling something about how antisocial it is to occupy a space you're not using. You don't know why you're doing this now. But you go to him very slowly. You press his face into your armpit. And say that you had more important things to do. Shit, Vincent is seriously licking the sweat out of your armpit hair now? Pathetic little fucker, your new friends would say now. You're far too surprised. By you. By him. Slightly disturbed, you go home. You throw yourself on your bed and think about your first day as a jock. You fall asleep.

You are actually a person who is always well prepared. But you are amazed at how little you have prepared for this experiment. You have a combination to wear. It's still sweaty after yesterday's workout. But you don't have anything else. So this morning you're not going to the library, but to the paint shop. Shopping. A pair of sweatshorts, a few tank tops, socks and jockstraps, sneakers. A bit of compression gear for training. You pass a barbershop. There are a couple of guys inside who are obviously no strangers to the gym either. Fuck it, you think. Down with the long hair!

You haven't been in the library this late in a long time. Vincent has blocked your seat for you. With a few protein bars. Cute! He winks at you when you come in. You raise your arm and smell your armpit. Shit, you haven't showered! Fuck… Well, maybe the little prick will like that even more…

By lunchtime with the boys, you at least want to have logged yesterday and this morning. And you're looking for some literature on the connection between mind and body. Most of it is ancient. Nothing has been published on the subject for a long time. And if there is, it's more about the effect of the state of mind on the body. Less often on the effect of the body on the state of mind. That's obvious, because normally a genius like you doesn't acquire a body overnight…

The lunch break with the boys was cool. The guys are just very chilled, you like that. No highbrow topics. Just sport, fucking and partying. Unfortunately, a lot of football too. You have no idea about that. After lunch, the boys want to throw some balls on the lawn. You have to go to a colloquium later. And Luke said that you should finally replace those nerdy glasses with contact lenses. The visit to the optician was a good excuse not to embarrass yourself at football.

A whole day without going to the gym sucks! That's why you got up early today. You didn't do your thesis assignments yesterday, nor did you get your muscles burning. That has to change. Shit, you're still struggling with your contact lenses. But it looks a thousand times better. You're screaming alpha with every trained muscle fiber. And that's great! You almost feel at home in the gym. And nobody questions your position. In the library, Vincent provides you with everything you need. He fetches books for you and takes them away again. He has also already offered to help you with your work. What a loser! You don't need to order anything in the canteen after just two days. Your extra large portion of extra protein-rich food is prepared especially for you. Twice. You come once when the canteen opens. And once just before it closes. Your body is a machine. And this machine needs fuel. Lots of fuel.

You sit in the library and document the developments of the last few days. It really is only a few days. Reading through the last few lines almost makes you nauseous. Has your body replaced your mind so quickly? You need to get a grip on yourself. You did your Master's with distinction. You're working on your honor's thesis. You have a chance of getting a professorship at your old college. And you suddenly prefer to spend more time in the gym or with the airheads on the football team? You make a plan. Two hours of gym in the morning, two hours break with the bros at lunchtime, two hours of gym in the evening. And in between, focus on your thesis and your studies. It shouldn't be that difficult. You're an intelligent and disciplined man. So let's get going!

You have made every effort. And you actually come to the conclusion in your thesis that the body of a jock does not automatically lead to the mind of a stupid, arrogant and superficial jock. You have fun with both. Training in the gym and hanging out with the bros. And working scientifically and researching the human psyche. But in a lecture you realize that it's not you who changes, it's your environment that changes you. Since you got this body three weeks ago, no one has spoken to you about your studies. Vincent, who you thought was intellectual through and through, just wants you to let him lick your armpits in the evening. Your bros didn't even ask you what you were studying. And then the day comes when you attend your doctoral supervisor's lecture. Since your transformation, you've only spoken or written on the phone. You sit in the front row. You appreciate your doctoral supervisor for his liberal political views, his rhetorical skills and his incredible knowledge. At the end of his lecture, he looks at you. And asks if the young man, who unfortunately was unable to dress appropriately, understood a word of what he had just said. He assumes you were mistaken in the lecture hall. But if you invest your energy in your biceps and not your brain, that's to be expected.

First you think about whether you are saying anything particularly intelligent. To express your indignation at his insolence. To justify yourself. But then you think about what has been really fun in the last few weeks. And who you really had fun with. And you answer "Nah, professor dude! Dat wuz alot of words n stff u sed. I dnt thnk I need all dat for my degree as a personal trainer. wdut, bro?" You make your pecs dance. The lecture hall laughs. You stand up. Fuck the honor's thesis!

You started studying sports economics again. You also work as a trainer in a fitness studio. And you have a pretty successful YouTube fitness channel. You recently received a call from your old doctoral supervisor. He read through the draft of your honor's thesis again. It was all very promising. Why did you drop out? You say that you obviously have to choose between brains and brawn at some point. And you're grateful to him for helping you decide. And with that you hang up.

[dolliestfairy]

𝐊𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 ࿐ೀ

Jason Voorhees, Vincent Sinclair, Bo Sinclair, & Michael myers with Fem!Reader who is a Victoria Secret Models ✧ 𓏲๋ ⊹ ֢

𑁍 Tw : Obsessiveness, Possessiveness, Denial, Insecurities, Mentions of Killing someone/murdering somebody, the word 'rotten' and 'blood'. Mostly fluff. Reader Skintone is Unannounced.

❁ Authors&Note ; THIS TAKE WAY TOO LONG CUS I'M SO FCKING LAZY 'M SO SORRYY 😭 but yea i tried my best... what do you think? i'll make part two if you like this one :) check out my Masterlist to see more stuff like this with different fandoms and community! happy reading fairies 🧚🏻‍♀️𓏲๋ ⊹ ֢

ִֶָ 𖥔 ࣪ Jason Voorhees

• absolutely loved you with all of his dead heart and soul.

• and worship you as well, i mean how couldnt he? you're just soo beautiful! your beauty can even melt his own rotten heart.

• now we know that jason is a very insecure big boy, and sometimes he felt insecure and disgust at himself because he often thinks about the untruth that he doesnt deserve to have someone as pretty as you.

• now if you see him acting like this.. please reassure him that he's enough, because truth to be told; he really need it. he is just shy... you know?..

• but besides his insecurities he is absolutely over the heels for you, he also really support your carrier and would def 100% killed for you.

• if someone tryng to take down your carrier just tell him and he'll rip their heads off their own body.

• and again; this was all just for you, the only person he would love besides his mother, ever.

ִֶָ 𖥔 ࣪ Vincent sinclair

• 'another draw insipration huhhh?' thats what this big 'ol boy thoughts about you when he first saw you.

• absolutely would die & killed for you. and let me tell you this guy is also has a mad respect for you.

• its like princess treatment you know.. anything you want he'll gave you it.. you want a new beautiful wax sculpture of yours? no problem baby.. he'll make it for you just gave him 1 weeks! you want something but its outside of the city? no problem! bo would do it for him. if he doesnt want to? lester would be the one.

• loves seeing you pose for yourself. it really gave him more ideas. he sometimes love to think of you in a different type of clothes.

• also loooove your confiedence, really boost his energy. his place was usually has this gloomy and just plain walls and floor with a rotten blood scent 'dancing' through his room, but once you step your feet in then the atmosphere would just like.. change for the better.

• he is actually kind of insecure about himself, but everyday he get better and better once he got those bless-kisses from you into his cheeks, and he freeaking loves it!

ִֶָ 𖥔 ࣪ Bo Sinclair

• really cocky about it at first...

• but then turns out he was actually obsessed with you.

• he doesnt want to admit it though.. Hell, he would rather bury his own self alive than admitting his feelings towards you.

• its just that he felt like the feelings "love" is making him vulnerable and he just seems those as something as uneccesary and a waste of time.

• thats what he thought until he felt like he cant take it anymore as he just angrily confessed his feelings towards you with like zero preparations at all like it was all just... happen.

• this guy is a weirdo, but would never admit it anyway. and yeah... he likes you, a lot. but again.. He Would Never Say This Out Loud.

ִֶָ 𖥔 ࣪ Michael Myers

• doesnt really understand about the concept of those thing called "Victorian secret" you worked to.

• until he start observe and observe and observe.. stalking and stalking here and there.. trying to find the explanation.

• and when he finally got it, it was all just make sense to it. i mean you're a very irresistable person and it left him feeling so Struck-eye.

• but he would never admit this...

• it doesnt change anything at all tbh, the way he show about how much he loves you is that he doesnt hurt or even killed you.

• instead, at some rare occasion, you'll find yourself in your room with a strange yet pretty stuff besides it where it was covered in blood and shits.

• and yeah thats how this big dude show his scary intimidating love towards you <3 he's also always sometimes watching you sleep at night. i know its kinda creepy but uh.. at least he doesnt try to hurt you ig?.............

[seventhcallisto]

Chapter 1 — "why didn't you answer my call?"

—Deep Down.

Toc/cw; read prologue or you'll be v confused!! Touching. Nothing much except world building. Language. Heats are the omega equivalent for periods(without the bl00d). I said what I said. Heat suppressants work, they just sedate the need for a knot(#worldbuilding). Angst at the end, lots of it throughout(it gets better I swear.)

It's not a surprise when the majority of unanswered texts come from mingi. You left without warning, and to think; he thinks he was the one who sent you to the hospital. All because he simply bumped into you. You feel bad. You feel terrible. Yet you're so scared you're gonna say something and reveal what really is going on.

Your hip, ankle, shoulder, and elbow ache. Your hips for two reasons. You scratch at the bandage on your elbow.

"You want me to lie?" You mumbled into the speaker. On the other side is your manager, no, not jongsik, but the overly obsessive and pushy manager that takes care of most of the groups publicity and what can and will be said. "I don't want to lie to them, they'll figure it out" you continue, growing more upset.

"Just until your next uhm. Cycle. Then the company can break the news publicly and personally to them." Song Pilyoung. Mr. Pil. Answers, as if expecting you to say that.

It hasn't even been a day since your last heat. You're supposed to keep up with your lies and completely change demeanor and body back to your old self for a month? When you know your obvious behavior will be to coddle and preen at any affections from the alphas you so desperately missed during your heat.

Seonghwa, who knows when the slightest thing is off with you. Who can tell when you're sick based on how you act and watches you so intensely under his pretty keen eyes, even when he bites you, ever so gently, you think, compared to the aggressive chomps he does to the rest of the guys.

Yeosang, who genuinely likes to be near anything that smells like you or makes him think of you, which he shyly admitted, who ever so gently leans his head on your shoulder when he has a stressful day. Yeosang who you constantly are seen next to, brushing arms gently with.

Mingi who continously hugs and drags his long limbs across you, because you're the only member who won't complain and will put up with him, who shares his food with you, but only you because he likes the way you follow him without questioning what it is you're being fed. but it's indulgent. You like how he casts himself on you and the way he grabs your chin when he wants you to try a piece of food.

Yunho who can't help but hold your hand whenever he's next to you, because an alpha and beta can have that public privacy without being seen as dating, yet you hope he doesn't feel the quickening pulse vibrating your fingers, yunho who defends your name and includes you in any type of conversation if you're nearby.

San who, for some reason, always flirts with you the hardest, only for you to plainly respond or brush him off because you're a beta, and you tell him so - not because you know he doesn't mean what he says, right?. San who sits side by side with you and makes sure the blanket covers you when you sit at award shows, even going as far as to take his own suit jacket off and maybe cover you from prying eyes.

Wooyoung, who gatekeeps you too much when he gets the chance, who stands behind you to make sure you get up the stairs safely, and so no one peeks up at you. Who always tells you about the drama with other alphas cause he knows you don't gossip, wooyoung whos smile makes you smile, whos lips make yours want to gravitate towards them.

Jongho, who you baby yourself - but always steps up to take anything on your shoulders that seems too heavy. Even during any type of game, he'll give you the answer and never regret it. He who will share his jacket and shuffle closer when he sees you shivering. When his eyes meet yours across the room just because you assumed he was searching for something, he holds the contact until you pull away. he warms you more than the jacket he lends you whenever it seems the slightest bit cold.

Hongjoong, who lets you sleep in his bed when you have a nightmare, who people say favorites you the most. how his calming scent always drags you under and sparks fireworks within you, how you never indulged yourself to scoot closer and be wrapped up in his arms anywhere at any time whenever he looks at you. He who leaves his clothing in your room, who silents everyone immediately when he knows you have something to say.

When did you realize you felt like this? For a while, actually, you would never say that, though. Feelings are feelings, yet you'll be with these guys the rest of your life, and you don't want to ruin anything. Plus, you're just another pack member. You're genuinely sure all of those moments can be because they're protective. You highly doubt they feel the same.

"I can't promise anything" you sigh as you tell Mr. Pil. "Great, I've got a driver on his way to you already, he's picked up everything you'll need for the month."

Perfect.

You see yourself out of the idle apartment. "Bye, gorgeous!" Yuqi and shuhua wave down the hallway. Miyeon is the one to walk you down, making sure you make it out safely.

You've washed yourself of their scent as much as you can. A bag of fresh, unworn and recently bought clothes are given to you provided by miyeon after your shower. You've got to undo ever being there, so you scrub yourself free of every scent of them. A new bottle of shampoo, conditioner, body soap, and perfume is given to you. Each of the members have an assortment of things they don't use or didn't want anymore. Which is very convenient for you.

From the pile, they each pick out things beta-you would have liked. Current omega-you doesn't have the same nose beta-you had. So you have to rely on your best friends' scents and recollection to give you things you would have liked. Which is how you smell as close to as you did before. You just tweaked a bit because you gotta like at least some of your smell. The girls give in. Your new permanent scent. A smell; omega-you indulges in which you didn't before. A lingering scent of sweets and tropicals you try not to get used to under the chaotic neutral tone your old scent gave off, a love-hate feeling.

You pull the hoodie snug. Miyeons pants are a bit tight, considering she doesn't work out as much as you do. A plain black and white track suit. "This is me," you sigh as the sleek black car pulls up. Miyeon is silent, yet you wait for her to speak anyway. "You're always welcomed here, you know that, right?" She nudges your shoulder with her hand.

"I know."

"And if you need anything. Anything. you call or text." She adds. "I know." "You know we love you, new sex and all" she smiles, you laugh. "That's very reassuring, thanks, love you too." You want to hug her, but you'll know it'll undo the scent process you just spent all morning working on.

"If anyone gives you problems, tell em idles' got your back." she grins, pressing a single digit finger to your forehead. "Bye cutie pie," she ushers you off the sidewalk and towards the car.

The ride back is full of anxiety. How are you supposed to explain the reason you haven't responded to the number of messages they left? Maybe cause you were actually too busy going through a terrible, disgusting, uncomfortable heat by yourself with no relief for days on end.

You can't say that though.

"Mr. Chen, are the guys at the apartment?" You speak to the driver. He's an older omega man, one you've come to know personally. The man in the passenger seat, an alpha, doesn't seem to care when you talk to him. "No miss, they're at the stadium filming." Chen glances at you through the rear-view mirror. "Filming?" You repeat. "Yes ma'am, filming for the music video starts today.."

Right. Of course. How could you forget? You've memorized everything down to the tiniest detail in the span of two weeks before your sudden omega sex came and distracted you. But you doubt you'll be picture perfect. At least in your own eyes.

The car passes the turn to your apartment. You can see the building in the distance. "Mr Chen, are we not going to the apartment?" The man in the passenger seat sits up and turns around to look at you. His eyes hold irritation. "Listen, beta, we're going to the filming site. Yeah? Got it? Be patient. Sit back."

If you were childish enough, you would have kicked his seat. You scoff. Falling back, letting the disrespect go. You gotta let it go. Don't fist fight a random alpha with a superiority complex.

Don't do it.

As soon as chen comes to a stop at the designated location, the alpha pops open his car door. You wait for him to get between your door and his. Boom. You slam your door open on his tush.

He pulls back, glancing between you and the door. There's a flare to his nostrils. One, you know only a pissed person would showcase. And god, is it satisfying to slam the door behind you and smile like the petty person you are.

"Woops," you simply say. His pissed face urks you to stand your ground. He doesn't hesitate to walk up to you, a crazed look in his eyes. "You-"

Your name is called in the distance, and you know exactly who's calling it. Your head whips, and your heart skips a beat. Running straight towards you are the guys, emerging straight from the field to your right. They look unreal, like they popped out of a commercial.

Mingi is the first to slam into you.

"Hey, ow!" You laugh, pulling him in tighter. The alpha, whose energy dissipates, turns away as if he wasn't about to go off on you.

Mingis arms are a welcoming feeling. He twirls you around, taking on your weight like it's his own. There's a certain desperation in his tight hold. You feed into it, pulling him just as tightly by the shoulders.

"Are you okay? Why didn't you answer my calls?" He pulls away only enough to scan your face. Maybe you really shouldn't, but mingis face is picture perfect. Whatever the makeup artists have done to make him look this good, it surely is based on hard work and years of perfection. Or maybe it's just mingi.

You stutter to answer, "I'm sorry, I wasn't.. really allowed to" it's half the truth. His hands fall to your hips, silent as he takes you in. "I'm sorry," he says, pulling his lip under his teeth. He genuinely looks sorry. Your eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "Mingi! No, I'm fine, completely." You pull his hands off you, missing the smell of sea salt and jasmine. You spin around. "Fine! See? Mingi.. i-"

Another pair of arms scoop you up. Silencing whatever you were saying, it's yunho this time, smiling ear to ear. And immediately after, waiting patiently next to mingi is San, his eyes flicker behind you, but as soon as you look his way, he catches your face. "Hey," he says so simply, with that sneaky grin he always has, yet you can tell he wants to say more.

"Hi," you say simply back, pulling both Yunho and San into a tighter hug. "How was it?" San asks, his voice is so sultry, something you missed, your mind goes haywire. "What?" Your face falls. "How was being away for so long? You missed us, right?" San laughs.

"Missed you? Never," you joke, pushing them both away when you catch Jongho and Yeosang jogging over. Jongho scoops you up next. His arms are tough, obviously, from working out so much lately. You take a well needed whiff of him. Fresh florals, mahogany, charred sandalwood, and laundry invade your nostrils. His head falls over yours, pulling back to let yeosang get a hug. Yeosangs arms are lean, but his hug is soft when he pulls you close, breathing you in.

Wooyoung and Seonghwa are last. Which you find surprising. Seonghwa, who usually pulls you into a half hug- full-on, brings you in. He smells like leather, dark coffee, and vanilla cream. There's so much more, but you're pulling away before you can smell him some more. Wooyoung locks you in, tilting you on your heels back and forth. He's the smiliest of the bunch. He sets his face on your shoulder, and his hands squeeze your sides comfortably. San scoots past the two of you, popping open the trunk.

The trunk, where your bag is. Full of assortments of scent blockers, heat suppressants, and the many smells the girls gave you so you can get by for the month smelling like your old self. Panic sets in, yet you try to seem as casual as you can when you twist in wooyoungs hands. "San, I got it!" You somewhat shout. San looks up, confused, pulling the shoulder strap over his shoulder. Wooyoung still has you in the tightest embrace around your waist.

"You really want to carry your own bags?" Yunho scoffs at the idea, mingi takes the other bag next to san. One you don't even remember throwing in. "I'm a big girl. I can take my own bags," you mumble. Wooyoung laughs from just over your shoulder. His lean body presses directly into your back. He's so very warm. You try not to think about it, opting to continue struggling.

"Woo, c'mon," you slump, you're not getting to that bag. It's no use, you're too exhausted to fight against him. He laughs. "It's just one bag beta, I'm sure your big girl attitude can be put aside for now," Woo loosens his hold around your waist, patting your hip with his large palm.

Seonghwa continues for him, a certain upset tone in his voice. "You just got out of the hospital. I don't know why you're here instead of resting at home."

You gulp when San slings the backpack around. "What did the hospital give you anyways?" He chuckles. You count heads, realizing hongjoong isn't here. "Where's -" the door behind you slams.

The alpha from before storms around the driver side. Everyone stops to stare. San shares a look with seonghwa. "What's his problem?" Wooyoung whispers to you, his breath fanning your ear. You scoff silently. "Egocentric alpha." You grumble.

"Got it," he laughs, he's missed you. Pulling you away. The guys all fall behind you two.

The cold of spring is fading away. It no longer nips at your nose. Soon, summer will roll around, and filming will get exhausting more than it already is. Your clothes whip around at the slight gusts of wind. Your makeup isn't caked on for once. Thankfully, you have a new makeup artist this time. Your scent still lingers. You'd have to reapply scent blockers soon. The bottle shifts between your fingertips, twisting and pulling at the lid. You subtly rub it around your scent glands. The chatter of the guys behind you cast in the background of your attention. Hongjoong is just a little bit away. You haven't seen him since you got there. Makeup and clothing took at least an hour or two.

Even though he's right there, you miss him. Hongjoong stands by the filming aquitment, speaking with the crew. You take your time walking up, having just now realized hongjoongs hair is back to the pretty brown you know suits him.

"Joong," you call, a blanket shrugged over your exposed shoulders. His shoulder straightened at your voice; his head whipped around. "Hey!" He calls, a genuine smile lighting up his features.

Hongjoongs figure is still so welcoming. The pack leader has always had that effect on you. It takes everything in you to pull away from the hug. "We missed you," he says earnestly, his hand resting on your neck where your scent gland is. "How are you feeling?"

You sigh, "I'm feeling good," it's somewhat true, although genuinely exhausted from the entire week of being poked and provoked by doctors and annoying alphas. what really got you was your first heat.

"You should be at home, not working." He huffs, reaching up to pull the blanket over you further. "I want to work," you nod, confirming it to yourself. He chuckles. "Yeah, right"

"Take it easy, kay?" You smile. "No promises"

It's the next day when the sun begins to set. You realize you're your biggest enemy. You will never be satisfied with how you contort your body to follow steps. 4,5,6. You repeat. 4,5,6. You stare as you watch yourself perform on the monitor.

There's a tension in the air, the staff can feel it, and the guys can feel it. Everyone moves around freely around you, the guys getting ready to perform the next sequence of steps. Yet you don't care if you're the one giving that tense energy off, your feet stand firm. "One more time, please," you ask the tech crew to repeat the video. A hand falls on your shoulder. Yunho calls your name softly. "Yeah?" You respond, not paying attention to what he says.

4. 5. 6. 4.5.6.

You watch as your lines loosen. This solo shot of you is cursed. Why can't you keep your movements sharp? "Beta," yunho calls firmly. You lift your head, catching his brown eyes with your own. "You're perfect." he guides your chin when you want to turn your attention back to the monitor. "No- look, my arms -" you go to point.

Yunho roughly turns you fully towards the monitor, and his hands fall by your waist. His chest presses against your back as he bends over you, and his head leans over your shoulder. "Look," he takes the word from your mouth. Pointing at your arms as you dance around on screen. "Your arms are fine." His silver hair brushes against your cheek. "There's nothing wrong with your shot. It's perfect."

And it's not because the alpha uses his firm voice to make you listen. It's the way yunho so passionately stares at you, like he believes what he says wholeheartedly. His eyes never slip from over your shoulder, even when yours keep falling back to the monitor.

"Okay," you listen. Yunhos hands fall off you, stepping away. You miss his warmth.

You're a week into the month when suspicion arises. Seonghwa is the one that finds your unopened bottle of scent blockers. "Hey," he says, twiddling the bottle in his nimble fingers. Your eyes shoot up from your phone, watching him stand in your doorway. "Are these yours? None of us had to get a refill." it's such a normal question because seonghwa doesn't think about it. All of the guys use scent blockers to perform for concerts or events.

But you're honestly choking. "I uh- I got a new bottle last week," you gulp. Quick, excuse. Excuse!. "Oh" His eyebrows furrowed. You haven't performed in about a month since the comeback is soon. "Yeah, i - that smell thing I had going on? That's what those are for." You loosely point.

"They're supposed to help," you gulp. Please take the hook. Seonghwas eyes scan you over once again, then back at the bottle. "Are they working?" He finally says. You blank.

"I don't know, can't really tell," you mumble. "Can you?" You sit up, scooting further down your bed. Seonghwa walks into your room. His scent mixes in with the smell you've had to endure all week. "Yeah, I suppose." You can see the gears behind his eyes moving.

"You suppose?" Your eyebrows furrowed. He bites on his lip, pulling at his earring. "Mm, you smell like you usually do.. but.." he thinks about it, scanning your room. His eyes finally fall on your face, urging him to continue. "Never mind."

Seonghwa exits your room without another word. You're in silence by yourself. The suspicion makes your anxiety skyrocket. He left his shirt behind on your bed.

You take it. Why not?

Hongjoong is late coming back again from the studio. He smells stressed beyond belief, even from where you sit across the apartment. He hangs his jacket up in the hallway. And you hear the slow pattern of his feet when he walks down the hallway. Your head falls on the arm of the couch, eyes focused on the TV. Hongjoong calls your name in a whisper. You look up at his tired eyes.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" He questions you. You have half the energy to laugh quietly. "Says the one in the studio at.." You check your phone. A picture of you and the girls on the lock screen. "4 am.. why aren't you?" You set your phone back down, pulling your feet up so he can take a seat on the couch without you hogging the whole thing.

He gladly takes it with a heavy sigh. His hand falls to your ankle poking out of the blanket, and you shiver slightly at the chill of his rings. "How are you feeling?" You scoot to sit up, leaning on your hand. "It always gets hectic before a comeback," he huffs a smile, turning towards you. "How are you?" His finger brushes up your calf. "I asked first," you glance back.

He smiles, a tired one, one he always has for you. "Why were you still up?" He changes the question. You take the hint. Laying back down on your pillow that's propped up against the couch. "I wanted to wait for you," you whisper.

The silence is comfortable. Hongjoongs fingers rubbing circles on your ankle. You reach down to grasp his hand, his tired eyes blink back at you. "Lay with me?" You ask, perhaps you shouldn't. But in your sleepy state, you're bold enough to ask, scooting over to make room for him. He doesn't answer but scoots up enough to take the spot next to you. Face to face. "Nightmare?" He asks, as if giving you an excuse, his eyes bore down on yours.

He's so pretty, you think. His eyes are so soft under the darkness. You question if he's one of the prettiest guys you've ever seen, an uncommon trait for alphas. You hum, taking the lie. "Yea"

Your eyelids slink as does his, the rhythmic breathing between you two casts over like a lullaby. Eventually, his arm falls over your hip. Alice In Wonderland playing in the distance, a sound you've gotten used to as you fall into the solitude of sleep.

The next morning, the comfort of the couch is something that you want to fall back into. You want your beauty rest, but the sun keeps beating on your eyelids. You turn in the grasp of the blanket, it has a tight hold, you wiggle to get comfortable.

The fan of someone's breath hits the shell of your ear. Your eye pops up, blinking at the sun coming down on you from the window. You turn to feel the body pressed against your back. Slowly turning so you don't wake them up.

Hongjoongs face is mere centimeters away. His hair falls over his face in waves. You want to reach out and push it away, kiss his eyelids, and touch his face ever so delicately. Your head lays on his arm. Hoongjoongs hoodie rid up his forearm, the scent gland on the bend of his elbow directly in front of you. Hongjoong smells.. like a ripe pear, tahitian vanilla, the heat from the sun, and sweet spices. You nuzzle deeper into his warmth, sighing gently into his chest.

Still foggy from sleep, every second that passes, you fall further into a dream state. Hongjoongs soft and quiet breathing echos in your mind.

Pictures pass in your vision, memories you haven't yet explore dance beyond the border of your sight. You dance silently, following where you lead yourself. Through doors that open without a sound and a floor that is void, your feet patter and swirl like raindrops on water. A distant noise echos. Hands reach out for yours, an assortment of them sticking out from the void and invisible walls that surround you. But you don't reach back. Your movements flow in a rhythm. When you stop to breathe, you sink into the floor. And fall continously. Echos of your struggles and inner thoughts consume you.

You wake up with a shudder, sitting up abruptly. You pat around you, you're in your bed. Hongjoong isn't here. You hope it's not because of what you said. You hope it's not because you made things awkward. You fall back into your comforters, sighing heavily. You stare at the crack in your bedroom door, watching figures pass and go. They block out the sun. The first to stop in the twenty minutes of you staring is Jongho. He pushes your door open softly. Two solid knocks hit your door.

"Want to get some breakfast?" He leans in, jongho is already dressed and ready. You hope he was waiting for you to wake up and ask you to tag along. You smile. "Yes"

The walk is brisk, just down the street to the coffee shop you visit most often in the morning. Jongho holds the door open for you, and you thank him. The smell of coffee hits you straight on. A pleasant surprise that makes your stomach grumble. Your mask stays put on your face, as does jonghos. Your arm wraps around his, a subconscious thing on your part. He doesn't pull away.

The line isn't long. A few stand around, picking and choosing their order. Many of the seats are taken. Chatter echoes in the large shop. "The usual?" Jongho nudges you, pulling your attention from the crowded strangers. He takes the lead compared to when you always do, you don't fight him about ordering like you usually would. "You know it," you smile, although you know the mask will block it. His eyes pull up, and you can tell he's smiling back.

You're compliant to the way he orders everyone's breakfast and drinks, something jongho finds strange for your behavior but boosts his ego a bit. You tell him the rest of the orders he forgets, leaning up to whisper it in his ear. He leans down and meets you halfway, so you aren't straining your still healing ankle. His hand falls to your mid back, steadying you.

"That's it, Thank you."

You lean up against the free space in the waiting area. Propping yourself up against the cold stone wall. This area is just as busy. You know the order will be a while. Jongho takes the spot next to you. Bumping shoulders. "How's your elbow?" He touches your arm gently.

You look down at it, a distant memory compared to the week you've had. "It's fine, it wasn't that bad." You shrug it off.

"If it wasn't, why were you in the hospital for a week?"

A lump forms in your throat. You advert your eyes to anything else. "I.. they wanted to run tests." That catches him off guard. "Tests? What for?" He leans on his shoulder to face you.

"Because i.." swallow the lump, don't word vomit. Please don't word vomit.

"Because I'm a -" ding! "order for Mr. Choi Jong!" Saved by the bell. God, it's so perfectly timed. Jongho stares at you for a second longer, his eyes scan you for answers. Like he's hoping you'll continue. Your mouth is glued. When he adverts his eyes, the emotion that crosses his features is like you did something terrible. He leaves to get the order when you don't look back up at him.

What are you doing? Are you crazy? Your hand falls to your forehead, rubbing the tension away. Jongho is silent the entire walk back. He takes the load of drinks and bags by himself, a few strides ahead. When you offer to help, he pulls away. "It's fine." he simply says. You flinch at his tone.

Just two more weeks.

The second week starts rocky. You haven't talked to yunho since the monitor incident. As well as jongho still being upset at you, hongjoong, avoiding you like the plague, and seonghwa not even giving you the time of day. You don't know what you did.

Your bed feels empty, as does your heart. You toss and turn all night long. Barely able to get any sleep for hours. A knock breaks you out of your tossing and turning habit. "Come in" you turn towards the door.

Mingi stands with his pillow tightly wrapped in his arms. Although childish, you find him cute. "Hey," you push yourself to sit up. He looks shy when he shifts on his feet, rolling his palm over your doorknob. "Can I sleep in here tonight?" He asks, it's mumbled, but you make out what he's asking.

Your lips poke up into a smile. You don't answer, just scooting over to the empty spot you were just upset about. You give him your warm spot instead. He giddily falls atop your spot, snuggly placing his pillow under his head.

"I sleep better in your room," he laughs, his eyes turn into cresents, and you stare at the way his face squishes into the pillow. You gently wiggle off the glasses from his nose, setting them aside on your side table. "It's because my room isn't messy," you snicker lightly.

Mingis whispering voice is just his normal voice, just less loud. You don't mind, though. You give him space. He hardly fits in your bed, yet he says he's the most comfortable in it. You can't tell if he's saying it to make you happy.

Mingi calls your name softly in the dark. "Yeah, mingi?" You whisper back, tucking your arm under your pillow. There's a few seconds of silence. It's uncommon when mingi is around. "I'm sorry again," he says so softly. You sigh. "it wasn't you mingi, you didn't do anything to hurt me that bad.." You close your eyes, excuse.

Excuse.

"...I had to get checked out because of my weird scent change thing going on." It's not true. You're feeling sick from lying so much. He hums. "So I didn't hurt you?" You laugh lightly. "No, min, you didn't hurt me." Your eyelids close. "I would never hurt you on purpose," he slurs in tired words. Your eyebrows furrow.

"I know.." You hear him shuffle closer. He reaches to grab your hand from under the pillow. His grip is soft. Your eyes stay closed.

Is this real?

"I'm here if you ever need anything." his thumb catches yours, intertwining your fingers. You sigh softly.

The amount of lying all week weighs heavy on your shoulders, mingi, who genuinely says what he means, twists your heart between his words. You try to breathe through the sudden sting of tears welling up in your eyes.

"I know." You answer with a shaky breath. You slip your hand out of his, and your world feels as if it's crumbling. Turning on your side away from him.

Just half a week. Half.

It's getting repetitive. Filming for another episode of a variety show you don't care for currently. You just miss your bed. You miss your boys. You miss being normal. You miss not having to hide. You miss being a beta.

"Your turn!" A finger points in your direction. You blink for a few seconds, gathering your wit. "i.. what am I supposed to do?" You laugh to cover the fact you weren't paying attention. The camera shines just out of view.

To keep up with performances, the majority of the boys all yell out the instructions. You get it, just a bit. San and Yeosang are at the top of the tower, having climbed all the way up with their gear.

You have to climb the tower. "Do I have to?" You bounce on your feet anxiously, looking towards the camera. Staff buckle you into your gear, the chatter getting lost whilst you get stuck in your head. You're not a big fan of heights.

You're really not a big fan of heights. You start noticing that when you shuffle across the platform to collect a red scarf. The premise of the game is to collect your color accessories, whilst also not allowed to go back if you miss any. Whatever team gets the most accessories wins. You're on Yeosang and Sans team. Paired in three.

Your rope is tied to san, whose rope is tied to yeosang. You don't think you got the strength in your arms to keep going. You power on anyway. Slipping your hand between spray painted fake rocks and clawing your way up.

Your helmet keeps slipping down your face. Surely, it's unfair that you got a helmet that doesn't even fit you. And dangerous. But mostly unfair.

"You got this!" Sans yell encourages you. You're in a particularly tough spot. You have to reach sideways to grab a pair of red sunglasses. It's the last thing you have to grab to win.

To your left, the blue team, which consists of wooyoung, yunho, and hongjoong, yells to each other. You try to drown it out and focus on your own team.

You just gotta reach over. You wedge yourself as close as you can.

Just reach. You can hear the game hosts encouraging you on, shouts of surprise.

Your fingertips just barely scrape it, almost knocking it off the ledge it's on. You shuffle, your single hand holding onto a rock is getting sweaty. You breath cautiously, reaching out again.

It's so close.

And then you grab it.

Shouts from San and yeosang make you smile. You're proud of yourself. You go to turn back, slipping from your left foot. Oh no. You're slipping, trying to get a solid hold on the rock. You slip the sunglasses on your head, hoping to be able to get your right hand free to grab the ledge.

San and yeosang are only a few feet up, not close enough for you to reach for. You've got to maneuver yourself out of the spot you're in. You don't know if you can. You wiggle and twist your waist, stretching your right arm above you.

Your fingers wiggle to get a good grip on the jagged red rock you grabbed. You're not as muscular as you thought as you try to use your right arm to pull your full body weight further up.

You strain it so, to the point where when you finally get yourself up. You have to shake off the hurt. Just two more rocks. Two more big reaches.

Two seems to appear a lot lately.

Distant shouting of all the teams catch your attention. Wooyoung is gaining speed. He's on his last accessory, a few feet behind you. When he sees you staring, he smirks like a predator, gaining speed.

Your movements are calculated but rushed. You keep pushing the helmet back on your head. The sunglasses slip down over your eyes, somewhat blocking your view. You're sweating bullets at this point.

Yeosangs hand is a saving grace. He pulls you up by your right wrist whilst san pulls your left arm. As soon as you get up, you book it to the table you have to put the accessories on.

Your team wins. Confetti cascades around you. You cheer happily, jumping around and laughing out of breath.

How it feels to be victorious.

You look to yeosang and San. They stare, shocked.

You wipe the sweat off your brow. The sweet scent hitting your nostrils.

Oh no.

You swipe the sweat away as quickly as you can, pulling the roll on bottle out of your pocket. Hurry. You try to twist the top off. Rolling the scent onto your scent glands and over your forehead as much as you can.

It's no doubt in your mind. They smelt your real scent. They know. You don't turn to look. You don't even want to know what they're thinking. Your breathing turns shallow.

Fuck.

Your world is crashing.

This time for real.

You take the emergency stairs. Ignoring the calls of yeosang and san. Stripping the gear off of you as you go. You don't care if you're ruining the victory shot. You just gotta get out of here.

You're wondering the hallways when wooyoung finds you. Hot tears stream down your face. Why are you even crying? You don't know. Maybe you're scared this will change everything. Maybe you're scared you messed up again and ruined it.

Wooyoungs hand is a soft pull to your wrist. You yank yourself out of his grip. Pain flashes his features. He says your name gently. You continue to sob. "What? What now" you huff. Wiping your tears harshly.

"Tell me what's wrong -" "Nothing!" You painfully shout, stepping away from his distressed smell. "Nothing is wrong. Nothing is ever wrong." You laugh at your situation. Wooyoungs hand clenches in the air. His hair falls over his eyes messily. He's still in the outfit he was wearing for the game, minus the gear. It's as if he came looking straight for you.

Just for you.

Wooyoungs mouth falls open and close. You dont think about whether or not he has something to say. You don't want to even look. "Just go away, please"

Wooyoung face is painted in pain. You know he doesn't know what to do. Doesn't know how to react. "Omega, please." he whispers.

Your sobs stop. Your tear stained face whips around, and your shocked face is evidence you weren't expecting that.

His tongue pokes the inside of his cheek. "We need to talk," he sighs, allowing him to walk up. He takes your wrists in his hands gently. His thumb rubs soothing circles on your wrists.

Silently, tears stream. You don't have the energy to pull away.

You ruined everything. They know.

A/n; cliff hanger bc my phone is glitching out BAD. IM SORRY! hopefully, the two chapts will make up for it. Thanks for all the support ♡.

Taglist: @lelaleleb @bratty-tingz @0325tiny @smilefordongil @atinytinaa @unripeapple7 @ja3hwa @stopeatread (thanks for your support ♡)

[sleepiexx]

Valeria Garza x fem reader. Reader and Valeria get into a argument and reader ignores Valeria for an entire day.

Pushover

Valeria Garza x fem!Reader

Note: I love the way you think anon, some angst with some hurt comfort after it. Hope you like it!

Summary: (Y/N) has a hard time standing up for herself, this brews trouble for her when inevitably there is an argument in her relationship.

Warnings: arguing, self-depreciating thoughts

Word count: 1923

(Y/N) was a pushover. She knew it. She’d known since about the third time she made friends with someone who only ever put her down and had a hard time standing up for herself. Although she knew it, she still couldn’t stop herself. To her it felt like she wasn’t in control, like she was watching a car crash from the back seat.

This problem became basically null the second Valeria Garza came into her life. Like a guard dog on the prowl, Valeria stayed right next to (Y/N), willing to defend her at any given moment should conflict arise, verbal or otherwise.

This, as most things do, came with a downside; (Y/N) never truly got over her pushover tendencies and now arguments with Valeria were near impossible.

It was never truly an argument, really, how can you argue with someone who always caves and lets you win? Because of this, emotions went unchecked, leaving room for them to fester. What was originally only a small annoyance became a black hole eating at (Y/N)’s mind at all hours of the day.

With time, Valeria only became more protective. It was sweet at first, being so loved, safe, and protected. But once the near 5-month long honeymoon phase of the relationship wore off, (Y/N) quickly found herself annoyed.

It seemed now that she never had alone time. Every waking moment was spent with Valeria, who she loved but could only spend so much time with before she went stir crazy. Don’t get (Y/N) wrong, she was literally obsessed with her girlfriend and she loved her very much, but Valeria wouldn’t even let her go to the store by herself, and god, she felt like a kid again, needing to hold mommy’s hand to cross the street.

It was only when Valeria suggested getting (Y/N) a full time bodyguard that everything boiled over and she snapped.

“Fucking Christ, Valeria, I’m a grown adult, I don’t need someone following me around every hour of every day!”

Valeria straightened her posture, eyes darkening as she tried to keep her cool.

“All I want is for you to be safe, (Y/N).”

(Y/N)’s eyebrow twitched, a clear sign of her blatant annoyance, “It’s always that excuse with you, isn’t it? You ‘just wanted me to be safe’ when you scared off the first friend I’ve tried to make since we got together, you were ‘defending’ me when you got us kicked out of that bar because you didn’t like the way some guy was looking at me, and now, as if your presence isn’t suffocating enough, you want me followed by someone who will report back to you with everything I’ve done all day? You are so beyond paranoid, it’s actually fucking insane.”

Valeria tried to understand her, she really did, “Where is all of this coming from?”

But unlike usual, (Y/N) was not willing to step down, “You! Valeria, it’s coming from you! It’s like ever since we got together you won’t leave me alone and I’m sick of it! I need some privacy once in a while, you’re acting fucking crazy!”

“I have done nothing but protect you since we have met and you want to call me crazy? Without me, your weak ass would have gotten yourself killed. Call me suffocating and insane all you want, (Y/N), you need me.”

(Y/N) stood there with a deep glare etched into her eyes as Valeria seethed. Suddenly she felt as though she were trapped. She didn’t want to be here anymore, she could feel tears beginning to gather in her waterline but she would be damned before she let Valeria see her crying after all of that. She turned on her heel, grabbing her things and beelining it towards the front door.

“Yeah, run away,” Valeria spat, “run away like you always do the second shit gets a little bit tough.”

And (Y/N) did, not sparing so much as a glance back to Valeria’s house after slamming the door and making her way to her car. She wasted no time in starting it up and speeding away as fast as she could.

She didn’t know where to go, but what she did know was that she didn’t want to go home and she absolutely could not return to Valeria’s.

She ended up pulling into a random parking lot 20 minutes away from both her own and Valeria’s houses, finally allowing herself to break down.

Tears flowed freely down her face as sobs echoed throughout her empty car. Her thoughts ran a mile a minute, arguing with herself about everything she had said.

Was she too mean? God what was she thinking, of course she was too mean, she probably just lost the best thing in her life. She should have just let Valeria win, why did she say all of that? She didn’t really think Valeria was crazy, a little suffocating, sure, but crazy was pushing it. How could she say that to her? She loved Valeria, and she just threw it all away like that. Valeria probably didn’t even want her anymore.

She sobbed harder at the thought.

“Please, please, please don’t leave me,” she cried to herself.

She’ll have to put together one hell of an apology. Even then, there’s no telling how Valeria would react. She was right, (Y/N) did need her. This was the first time she was truly alone in months and yet she felt so, so awful. She thought she wanted this, but now with the threat of losing her girlfriend over her head she was so incredibly lonely.

She was broken out of her pity party by the buzzing of her phone. One look at the screen and she could see Valeria’s beautiful face and caller ID.

She couldn’t talk to her, not yet. What if she said another stupid thing and dug herself a deeper hole? What if Valeria broke up with her over the phone? She couldn’t bare the thought.

Instead of answering, she took her phone and turned it completely off, stuffing it into the depths of her purse. She started her car back up and drove home in complete silence, tears still running down her face.

Once home, (Y/N) sat in bed wallowing in her own thoughts and self hatred. She only got up once, to use the bathroom which in a shocking turn of events proved to make her more upset.

As she tugged off her pants, she was met with a dark red stain in the seat of her underwear. She was on her period. To her, this discredited everything she had said.

Maybe she was the crazy one. She just let all of her hormones get to her and make her yell awful things at her loving girlfriend. Valeria was right, she was weak. Just an idiot who couldn’t help but ruin everything good she had in her life. What an emotional wreck.

After putting on a pad, she changed clothes and sat under the covers, sobbing into her pillow.

Before she knew it, night fell and she realized she’d been moping around all day, only worsening her mood. A loud knock at the door made her flinch, snapping her attention in that direction.

As she made her way to the door, a small part of her hoped it was just a door to door salesman there to sell her on the “world’s best vacuum technology,” or even maybe just Mormons. But the majority of her yearned for it to be Valeria.

She had no clue what to do and no words prepared for when she opened the door and it revealed Valeria, standing on the porch sporting a down trodden look whilst holding a bouquet of flowers.

Valeria’s head shot up, half shocked that (Y/N) had actually opened the door. It was clear that (Y/N) had been crying for a while with her puffy red eyes and her sniffle, and Valeria felt so incredibly guilty. For what felt like the first time in her life, Valeria was at a loss for words.

“What are you doing here?” (Y/N) asked awkwardly.

Valeria cleared her throat, attempting to push aside all self-degrading thoughts and put together an explanation, “Well you weren’t answering your phone and I, uhm, I really wanted to say that I’m sorry for earlier. I said some awful things to you that I didn’t mean and it was wrong of me.”

(Y/N) quickly shook her head, fully believing that she and she alone was to blame for the argument.

“No, I shouldn’t have blown up on you like that.”

Valeria’s eyes saddened, “don’t do that, (Y/N).”

(Y/N) stared, confused, “do what?”

“Don’t back down. You never let yourself believe that you are right, even when you are.”

“But I wasn’t, Valeria, I’m on my period and I’m being a bitch.”

Valeria frowned as the words left (Y/N)’s mouth, “Don’t call yourself that. Sweetheart, just because you’re a little hormonal right now doesn’t mean your feelings were any less valid. I was being overbearing.”

“You just wanted to keep me safe,” (Y/N) whispered.

Valeria shook her head, “And I will get you enrolled in some self defense classes as soon as possible, but smothering you wasn’t the right way to make sure you were safe. I’m so sorry.”

(Y/N) pulled the door open wider, a silent invitation inside. One which Valeria gratefully accepted.

(Y/N) nodded, looking up at Valeria with sad, yearning eyes, “Can we uh, talk about this more tomorrow maybe? I’m starting to cramp, and I’m tired, and I really just want to snuggle with you right now.”

Valeria smiled warmly, so very happy that things weren’t over, “Of course, my love. I’d be happy to.”

(Y/N)’s heart warmed. She took the bouquet from Valeria’s hand and nodded towards the bedroom, “I’m going to go find a vase for these, I still have your clothes in my closet so you can go ahead and change into something more comfy while I do that.”

Valeria nodded and went off to change while (Y/N) filled a pretty glass vase with water and placed the flowers as a centerpiece on her table. She smelled one, admiring Valeria’s choice in flowers.

“Are you ready to come cuddle?” Valeria asked from behind (Y/N), causing her to jump. She quickly nodded and followed Valeria to bed.

Once settled, Valeria wrapped her arms around her girlfriend, rubbing patterns into her skin.

“Where are you hurting?” Valeria questioned.

“Huh?”

Valeria rubbing lightly at the skin on (Y/N)’s hip, “You said you were starting to cramp, is it your back? Breasts, tummy, hips?”

“Oh,” (Y/N) muttered, “tummy.”

Valeria’s fingertips drifted to (Y/N)’s stomach, slowly rubbing and kneading at the skin. (Y/N) sighed in relief.

Valeria desperately wanted to apologize again but she knew not to bring it up. Not when (Y/N) asked her to wait, and certainly not when (Y/N) was finally relaxing into her touch. Instead, she made certain that (Y/N) knew how much she cared by whispering sweet nothings into her ear and rubbing her stomach all throughout the night until the both of them inevitably fell asleep.

They would have plenty to discuss in the morning but for now, they could enjoy being with each other and knowing that neither of them wanted to break up.

[starhvney]

𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐉𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝟑 | 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟏𝟐: 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐈𝐓!

𝐂𝐖: reader gets stalked and promptly has a panic attack

𝐀/𝐍: guys i did it! i finally got the next chapter out! (she announces to the crowd that has been sitting in the stands for like, three weeks or something)

𝐖𝐂: 6k

𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓𝐎𝐑: @arienic

𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 ☆ 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓 | 𝐀𝐎𝟑 | 𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊𝐒

once again, the weeks seemed to pass by like a blur. this time, however, it was a good blur. ivy and the girls who were suspended eventually came back to regular classes, but when they returned, their reputations were less than savory now in the student body. needless to say, you were left alone, and for the most part, you were met with somewhat friendly faces—at least, the same amount you would’ve had before the drama.

it was like you were back to living a “normal” teenage life again. you had a normal house, you went to a normal school, you had (somewhat) normal friends, and you had a decently normal reputation. for once, in a long time, you didn’t feel like there were eyes on you. not from a self-acclaimed gang. not from obsessive girls.

not from behind the tinted windows of a dark idled car.

soon enough winter break had come and passed, and it wasn’t until well into spring that something interesting happened again (aside from your friends’ general shenanigans, which seemed to always be there as a form of entertainment).

you actually were quite fine with nothing interesting happening, but it seemed general drama was something you never can escape when you're a teenager, whether you wish upon it or not. so when whisperings of prom coming up meet your ears you think the drama that ensues will pass right by you, especially since it was only the upperclassmen who got to go.

but, of course, that was not the case.

“kate?”

your usually confident and thick-skinned friend zoned out at her reflection in the mirror, not really staring at herself but instead seeming to be in a distant world as you washed your hands. normally, you wouldn’t question the behavior. you yourself were not immune to zoning out and daydreaming from time to time.

but this was different.

katelyn usually had so much energy, and she always seemed to be in the present, ready for the next thing and on to the next subject to talk about. but she had been quiet all day today, barely managing any smiles and seeming absent from every conversation your friends had. it had been a month since she’d told you the news that she and jeffory had broken up, and while she definitely seemed upset, she had held up pretty well in acting like she wasn’t.

it was a little unnerving seeing her like this.

“katelyn.” you call for her again, your previous ask for attention seeming to have gone completely over her head.

“hm?” she hums, taking a full five seconds to turn her attention to you.

“what’s wrong?”

she blinks, shaking her head. “nothing.”

you note the dark circles under her eyes.

“kate.” you sigh, turning fully to her and leaning on the sink, giving her a knowing look. “you gonna hide something from me of all people?”

her nose twitches, the tip of it turning red as her bright blue eyes gloss over.

“…jeffory and i were supposed to go,” she says, her voice breaking as she blinks away her tears, showing you a prom flyer that had been crumpled in her hand.

“oh...” you murmur.

how does one comfort a friend in a situation like this? she hadn’t even told you the reason for their break up, merely saying it was “complicated” and that it was pretty peaceful. still, she seemed so upset about it even now. she suddenly brings a hand to her mouth, shaking her head as she tries to keep her strong front. very quickly it’s crumbling though, and you sigh her name at the sight. stepping forward, you pull her into a hug, one she quickly reciprocates with a shaky sniffle.

“oh, kate. it’s okay.”

the bathroom door squeaks and you quickly spin her to where her back faces whatever girls came in, hiding her teary face from sight. it’s probably very clear something was up, but you could only hope it’s not too noticeable.

“what’s going on in here?” teony’s voice curiously carries through the air like wind chimes.

lucinda comes after, her tone teasing as the clicks of her heels approach the other side of you. “a cute girl group hug with no invite…?”

both of the girls lose their steam when they catch a glimpse of katelyn’s expression, their faces falling into concern.

teony sighs. “oh, no. what happened?”

katelyn merely shakes her head, resting her cheek on your shoulder as she hunches over you like a wilted flower. turning your head to them, you point down at the prom flyer that had flitted down to the ground with a small grimace.

“aw, katelyn. you shouldn’t be crying over this…” teony says, reaching forward to rest her hand on the weeping girl’s shoulder.

“no, she shouldn’t.”

you raise your eyebrows at lucinda’s blunt lack of sympathy in her response, her lips pursing as katelyn’s watery eyes glance over to her with a sniffle.

“katelyn, snap out of it. it's been a while since you guys have split up. you need to pick yourself back up.”

you blink wide-eyed at the ginger, eyes flicking to teony who sighs under her breath.

“now, lucinda, you know—-”

the bathroom door squeaks again, and aphmau’s cheery smile skips right on in, happy hums leaving her mouth.

“oh, there you guys are! guess who just got asked to prom!” she cheers, freezing with an abrupt click of her heels on the tile when her eyes land on katelyn’s.

katelyn’s breaths shake before she once more breaks down into tears, slumping over your shoulder.

the three of you shoot an annoyed “are you for real?” look to the freshman, one she returns with a sheepish squirm and awkward smile when she realizes her blunder. slowly she walks up to your and katelyn’s sides, hugging onto the both of you.

“i’m sorry! don’t cry, don’t cry! shhh…”

lucinda rolls her eyes with a groan, before very suddenly pulling you and aph away from kate and lightly shoving her shoulder back, making the girl stumble. “alright katelyn, that is enough! where is that spunky girl who wants to kick my ass all the time? come on, girl. don't you want to fight?!”

katelyn frowns, her puffy lips pouting in annoyance as she catches her footing and shoots a glare at the sudden… attack.

what kind of comforting method is this, luci? you deadpan, looking to the other two girls who seem equally as taken aback.

“lucinda, i don’t think now is the time–” aph starts, before jumping at katelyn’s sudden grunt of annoyance.

“fine! let’s go!” she starts, beginning to march quite aggressively toward the girl.

this may be the most bizarre therapy session you’ve ever witnessed.

“that's the spirit.” lucinda grins, seeming to get hyped at the return of katelyn’s hot-headedness as she lightly bounces on her heels. “come at me, bro! we'll fight until your arms become marshmallows.”

the blue-haired girl’s steps stutter and her shoulders slump, her determination immediately deflating. “jeffory... loved marshmallows.”

“really?!” lucinda throws her arms up in exasperation. “you’re joking!”

“great job. you made it worse.” aphmau deadpans, before shimmying up to katelyn’s side and pulling her into a hug once again. “it’s okay, come here. let me hold you, kate…”

lucinda rolls her eyes. “aphmau, we can't baby her through this!”

“it’s not babying, she’s in her feels!”

“alright, ladies!” teony suddenly says, sounding similar to a judge calling for order. “that’s enough. i know what needs to be done!”

you’re unbelievably grateful for teony’s aptitude for leadership—especially in this moment.

“lucinda, it's not babying. katelyn needs our help, and we need to be there for her,” she says, hands on her hips and an assertive expression on her face. “after school today we’ll go on a friend date with the whole group to get her mind off of things. a little pick-me-up, if you will.”

“i guess you're right… it does break my heart to see katelyn like this.” lucinda sighs, her bristled front melting to show the spark of concern in her eyes as her own shoulders slump. “we have to do something.”

katelyn looks around at the four of you, wiping her nose with her hand and sniffling before reluctantly nodding. “alright, i guess…”

you shoot her a sympathetic smile, placing your hand on her arm. “there you go.”

aphmau hums, looking over to teony. “so, what are we going to do?”

the academic weapon grins, a plan seeming to have already brewed in her mind. “don’t you guys worry. i’ve gotten it all figured out. just meet me in the parking lot after school.”

☆

“the mall?” you raise your eyebrows, glancing around at the amount of people who seem to be in on this. did teony call the whole avengers squad for this?

not only was the obvious here—teony, lucinda, katelyn, and aphmau—but somehow from this afternoon when teony made the plan she also wrangled nicole, nana, garroth, laurance, and vylad, as well as… dante and travis? this is… an interesting mix for sure. though, based on the passive looks on nicole and nana’s faces, they don’t seem too bothered by the blue haired flirt being present in the group. that’s good, at least.

“yep! a friend group date is long overdue anyways, right?” teony grins, patting a still downcasted katelyn on the back as she walks to her car, sitting a wink over to aphmau. “plus, i promised aphmau i’d take her for a ride in my car sometime.”

“really?” aph gasps, running over to the yellow convertible in excitement. “i can ride with you?”

“mhm, and there’s room for one more…” she shoots you a pointed look, waggling her brows in suggestion.

from the corner of your eye you see nana, her fangs peeking from her bottom lip as she looks at teony’s cute bug in wonder. aw.

“that’s okay. it looks like nana really wants to go with you. i can catch a ride with someone else.”

the meif’wa squeaks in surprise, looking between you and teony with sparkles in her eyes, before hugging onto your arm. “really?”

“well aren’t you sweet?” she tilts her head affectionately, waving over the meif'wa. “come on, then!”

“guess i’m just chopped liver.” nicole scoffs, crossing her arms as she watches the girls run ahead.

“you can ride with me, sweetie,” lucinda coos, waving her keys between her polished fingers before glancing to you. “my car’s a two seater, though. sorry, i guess you’re stuck with the boys.”

“stuck with us? she’s pretty lucky!” dante protests, appearing next to you quite suddenly.

nicole snorts, not even glancing back at him as she continues walking. “you keep telling yourself that, bud.”

you raise an eyebrow as he visibly deflates.

travis snickers from behind the two of you. “damn. you just took that, huh?”

“oh, shut up.” he sighs, turning and delivering a weak looking chop to the other boy's stomach.

shaking your head, you look over to the more reliable ones of the group. “so… can i ride with one of you?”

“duh, of course you can.” laurance smiles, reaching over to pat your hair. “garroth has been driving a cadillac suv, so we have enough room for everyone.”

the nepo baby in question sighs at laurance’s dramatic jazz hands as he mentions the luxury car brand. “it’s my mom’s.”

“okay, well i was literally an orphan in foster care—”

“why do you do this to me?”

“i call shotgun!” dante calls, dashing around to the passenger side before garroth can even unlock the suv.

“hope you don’t mind sitting next to me?” vylad nudges you with his elbow, his round cheeks squishing into a dimpled smile.

“of course not.” you round to the other side, jumping up into the back seat as vylad gets in himself.

“scooch, you.” laurance taps at your legs, pointing at the middle seat.

“sure,” you shimmy over, only to nearly get clocked in the face by travis’s shoe as he crawls over vylad to get to the very back seats. “damn!”

“my–! bad–!” the braced teen grunts, a small thud coming from behind you as he flops down between the seat and the floorboard. “ah!”

“you could’ve just asked me to move the seat.” vylad laughs, glancing back without much concern at the boy. “you’re just as bad as zane is, making everything harder than it needs to be.”

“i know he’s your brother, so no offense, but please don’t compare me to him.”

“...none taken.”

“oh, yeah. speaking of which, where's zane?” you speak up, looking from vylad to the oldest ro’meave brother.

“he was feeling kinda sick today, so he stayed home. had a cold, i think,” he says, pausing before looking at you through the rearview mirror. “by the way, is katelyn… okay? teony told me she kinda put together this whole hangout to lift her spirits.” 

“yeah… she just got kinda upset now that everyone’s talking about prom since she and jeffory were supposed to go together.”

you jump as travis’s hands slap onto your headrest, his messy white hair appearing from behind you as he gasps at the news. “wait, she’s single now?!”

genuinely you cannot stop yourself from slapping your palm right onto your forehead.

“calm yourself,” laurance scoffs. “she won’t be jumping into your arms anytime soon.”

“anytime soon, but it could be anytime,” he meekly says under his breath, tapping his fingers gently onto the headrest.

“learn from me and i bet you could bag her easy.” dante smugly turns around wagging his brows.

“you fumbled not one, but two cute girls at the beginning of this year,” you deadpan, crossing your arms and leaning forward with a stink eye. “travis doesn’t need a single crumb of advice from you.”

laurance starts to snicker from behind you as dante’s face falls into a pout before he slightly recovers, gathering some dignity. “hey, but i got them.”

“and then fumbled,” vylad adds, the simple and cheerful tone of his voice making garroth and travis join in on the laughter.

you’re unable to hide your amusement as well, especially when you see even dante cracking—the corners of his lips wobbling. “okay, yeah. damn, you got me. but i did learn from that. i actually don’t feel good about it.”

“good, you shouldn’t,” garroth scoffs, reaching over to flick the side of dante’s head.

after more… interesting topics truly only teenage boys could conjure up in the car, you were finally at the mall and stepping onto the tiled floors of the building. light filtered from the huge skylights above through the tree and garden installations in the center of the large building, the sight refreshing through all the different smells and noises of the shops around. 

your feet quicken their pace as you race up to katelyn’s side, linking your arm with hers as your voice lowers to a whisper. “how do you feel?”

bright blue eyes dart to yours, the whites of her eyes still a bit red and irritated from her earlier upset. she opens her mouth to speak, before shrugging with a quiet sigh. “i appreciate the thought, but i don’t know how i feel about everyone being here right now. i feel like it’s obvious i’m upset. it’s kind of embarrassing.”

you shake your head, lightly pushing into her. “don’t be embarrassed. we’re all here because we want to hang out with you and make you feel better. a lot of people don’t have good friend groups like this. i know i didn’t before i came here.”

she looks down, seeming to let the words soak in before she glances back to the rest of your friends, a small smile tugging on her lips. “yeah… it’s been a while since i’ve hung out with some of those dorks, anyways.”

a wave of relief washes over you, and you thank whatever part of your brain that managed to conjure up the eloquence to say something successfully comforting. “that’s the spirit.”

“um, hi, katelyn!” travis rushes up to her other side, making her jump in surprise.

“oh, hey…”

“i know you’re feeling down, and i just wanted to say—i mean, ask! are you an angel?”

“huh?” she blinks.

“cause you must have fallen straight from heaven.”

“wh—“ she stutters, before a few chuckles leave her lips. “you can’t be serious. that’s the lamest joke in the book.”

travis’s eyes widen and his shoulders seem to stiffen up in confidence, the boy seeming to be energized by her smile. cute. 

“i… i’m trash!”

“what?” she laughs in confusion.

“so can you take me out?”

katelyn continues to giggle, her laughter lightly carrying through the air. “that’s a good one.”

“are you a camera? cause i smile every time i look at you.”

the smile on katelyn’s face lasts for most of the ventures through the mall, her mind seeming well distracted from running through the arcade to eating snacks from the vendors—until your group walked by an outlet store with their beautiful prom attire on display.

“ooh, look at those pretty dresses!” nana suddenly squeals, pointing to the display with all different kinds of dresses in the window. “aw… i wanna go to—”

aphmau, who’d been eyeing the dresses herself at the front of the group, spins on her heels with wide eyes and sends a high pitched “mew!” to the meif’wa.

lucinda looks up from her phone, a quizzical look on her face. “why you just… meow?”

“she’s stopping her from mentioning prom cause of jeff—”

you stop in your tracks, waving your hands wildly. really?!

teony bites her lip, slowly shrugging up her shoulders with a guilty look on her face. “oops…”

for as smart teony is, she totally slipped that up!

kate looks down, and the whole group freezes up, almost seeming to collectively hold their breaths. after a few moments of tense silence, her voice comes out… uncharacteristically quiet. “i’m done with the mall for today.”

no, no, no! she was doing so good!

“uh, the park!” you blurt, causing the whole group to turn to you rather than the fresh coat of tears gathering in katelyn’s eyes. “i think after all this time inside we should go enjoy the park. it’s just down the road.”

“good plan,” laurance smoothly says, clapping garroth’s shoulder as the boy tosses his keys up in his hand—the rest of the group slowly nodding along. “a walk would be nice.”

☆

and it was a good plan. a breath of fresh air in the warm spring breeze leaving not much to think about except for the large old trees overhead and the people nearby playing… volleyball!

it seems teony had the same idea, as she very quickly suggested a quick little match to get katelyn’s spirits lifted again. glancing up at the girl, your shoulders sag when you see the disinterested look on her face as she shrugs.

“i don’t really feel like playing right now,” she mutters, making teony’s draw drop in shock.

“well, i see those kids over there playing soccer. i’m gonna join them if anyone else wants to,” laurance says with a small wave, prompting aphmau and vylad to eagerly follow as he jogs over to the nearby field. travis stares at katelyn for a few moments longer as dante runs off after them, the boy’s eyes round with worry before he reluctantly starts walking over, too.

lucinda scoffs. “okay, katelyn, are you really—”

“we’ll be right back,” you quickly interrupt, looping your arm with the heart-aching girl and beginning to walk over towards the bridge nearby before lucinda can use any more of her “tough-love” tactics.

the stone bridge was beautiful, and the architecture seemed like it had been built long ago, though new supporting renovations had been made since then. you lean onto the railing and stare down into the lazy flowing river below, the gentle sounds of the water going along the riverbank filling the silence between the two of you. katelyn leans over, too, staring down at her warped reflection down below and letting the wind flick her hair wherever it decided.

“why’d you both break up?” you ask quietly, studying her side profile as you wait for an answer. 

katelyn truly was pretty, her straight nose and starking eyes framed by powder blue hair, and a few stray freckles dotting her pale cheeks. on top of that, she was a good friend–despite her occasional hot-headedness–and was pretty strong in her loyalty. from what you saw from jeffory, you can’t imagine he’d have done something to hurt her, but you’re kind of tired of not knowing the whole story, either.

“i… i was the one who broke up with him,” she whispers, sniffling as tears begin to stream down her face.

you frown. so it wasn’t a mutual thing. “why?”

“he just—it’s gonna sound so stupid.”

“it’s not stupid. you don’t cry over nothing.”

she lets out a deep sigh, swiping away the tears from her cheeks in an attempt to compose herself. “he was just too nice.”

…

“huh?”

she looks over, shrugging as her chin wobbles. “i dunno. i just kinda felt bad about myself when i was with him. and it’s not fair to him 'cause that’s not his fault that he’s so perfect.”

you’re speechless for a good few moments. “what are you talking about? like, you don’t think you’re good enough for him or something?”

her head dips down, a shaky breath leaving her lips. “no, it’s… like i can do no wrong when i’m with him, even when i’m clearly in the wrong on something, he just agrees with me on everything and never has an opinion on anything.”

understanding dawns on you, and you slowly nod. “he was a great boyfriend, but your personalities just didn’t mesh.”

she looks up at you eagerly, nodding. “yeah. i need someone who can, i don’t know, challenge me? contrast my… stubbornness.”

you snort. “y—”

“yes, i’m admitting to it,” she quickly cuts you off, a small smile wobbling through her tear-stricken face. “i know i can be pretty hard-headed, and i need someone who won’t just let me push them over on everything.”

“i understand,” you say, reaching out your arm to pat her back. it trembled with every shaky breath she took.

“thank you.” she sniffles. “i just… feel so guilty about it. and i am upset, i really liked him—do like him. he’s so sweet and deserves the best and i just feel like i can’t give that to him.”

at that, she seems to break apart again. she’s really holding all of this on her shoulders.

“oh, kate. you don’t need to feel guilty about it. some things are just not meant to work out, and it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. you both could even still be friends after all of this, i’m sure of it. he won’t hate you for this.”

her shoulders wrack. “i know he won’t, which is why i feel so bad!”

“shh, just breathe.” you worry, rubbing her back some more. “here, i’ll go grab you some water so you can calm yourself a bit, okay?”

she gives you a weak nod, letting her hair fall to hide her face as she lets her teardrops fall down into the river. you let yourself stand for a moment to watch her, your heart squeezing for your poor friend as her mind continued to batter her emotions into a pulp.

as you turn to make your walk, you’re intercepted by garroth, who seemed to have idly waited by the edge of the bridge, looking on in worry. “hey…”

“hey.” you sigh, glancing back at kate–who was still hunched over the stone railing–and back at the blond. “she’s really going through it.”

“yeah, i can tell.” he frowns, his eyebrows pulled together. “do you think… uh…”

you tilt your head at his sudden sheepishness. “hm?”

“i was thinking of a friend to invite with me as my plus one to prom, and i honestly was debating asking you… but i was thinking maybe inviting katelyn would be nice. to take her mind off of jeffory,” he says, and your eyebrows shoot up on your forehead.

“wait, what? but i thought only sophomores and juniors get to go.”

“i'm only going because my teacher is on the host staff and asked me to help.” he shrugs. “plus, i get extra credit for it.”

“oh… that makes sense,” you murmur.

“yeah, sorry. guess i shouldn’t have told you i thought about inviting you only to say sike! nevermind!” he snorts, his voice turning comically goofy at the end and consequently making you burst into giggles.

“oh, my feelings are so hurt, garroth. how could you break my heart like this? i’m just a second choice to you?”

he shakes his head, his prince charming smile wide on his face. “no, no! never! my sincerest apologies.”

your amusement calms, and you pat his arm. “seriously, i think that’s a good idea, actually.

“okay. i thought it would be nice, but i wanted your opinion first. didn’t want to make things worse, you know?” he scratches his head, glancing over to kate.

“yeah. and it is really nice. you’re so sweet, garroth.”

the tips of his ears slowly turn red, his eyes darting down to the sidewalk. “thanks…”

“well, maybe you can go talk to her now. i’m gonna get her some water real quick.”

he nods, blond curls bouncing along with his head. “yeah, yeah, okay. i’ll go do that.”

you watch with a fond smile as he jogs over to katelyn, his hand gently ruffling her hair and making her jump in place. he was so thoughtful.

the vending machines near the restrooms wasn’t much further, and you glance over to watch just as laurance was completely demolishing those kids and scoring another goal on them. this was the same one you had gone to grab a water for zane, when he’d gotten hit in the face with aphmau’s lethal soccer kick. you wonder if he’s still looking up to gene, or if maybe he’s grown out of whatever horrid phase he was in.

you chuckle under your breath at the thought of the little emo ro’meave. though, little was an understatement. at the rate he’s been seeming to grow, he might even manage to end up taller than garroth. still, his attitude is enough to make him little in your eyes, as hilariously demeaning that sounded. you’re sure if you said it to the boy’s face he’d throw a whole string of insults your way.

as you wrinkle your nose at how fondly you thought of the little brat, your eyes catch jet black sitting in the parking lot ahead, its engine idling lowly. your blood drains from your face as you freeze in place, breaths shortening as your eyes slowly drift up to confirm what you just saw.

suv. jet black paint. jet black windows. dark headlights. facing right at you.

no. that’s not them. breathe.

why is it on? who’s in there?

“just act normal. i’m okay. i’m okay,” you mutter under your breath, shakily taking in your next breath as your finger slips and you click for a gatorade instead of water. “shit.”

you tear your eyes away from the vehicle, bending down to grab the drink with trembling hands before quickly standing again and looking ahead once again.

there’s a man. where have you seen him before? he looks so familiar. tan… dark eyes from what you could see in the distance you were at… brown hair… kinda tall. he looks pretty average, but you can swear you’ve seen him before. and he’s looking right at you.

the gas station. when you’d been there with gene. you’d seen the same suv then, too.

your heartbeat picks up, hands going cold and sweaty and throat tightening.

is that him? the one from before? did he find you again? why is he showing his face to you now?! IT’S HIM!

it almost felt like you were outside of your body, your face and limbs gone completely numb as you held eye contact with him. your vision blurs, and you can barely keep track of him as he slowly walks over to the passenger side of the black vehicle. as you blink to regain your sight, you see that that blank look on his face is gone, instead replaced with a taunting smile as he tilts his head.

IT’S HIM. CALL FOR HELP. SCREAM FOR GARROTH, KATELYN, SOMEONE.

one of your hands reach up from the gatorade, tightly gripping onto the locket zianna had given you.

a boy walks up to the man, standing just shorter than him. he was a werewolf. silver piercings on his ears glinting in the sun and a streak of blue running through his bangs.

who is he? he looks young. but is he in on it? he could be. was that his son?

his eyes shift to you, and you watch as they widen at you, his expression shifting into something… uncomfortable? scared? you can’t quite place it, your own brain going too haywire to associate anything with anything else. he turns from you and quickly gets into the car, not giving you a second glance.

you can’t hear anything but ringing in your ears and the sharp breaths that you struggled to take in. the man slowly opens up the passenger door, before slinking into the vehicle and disappearing inside.

you hear your name muffled against your left side, before a firm grip clasps on your shoulder.

“no!” you shout, whipping towards your assailant and whacking their arm away, stumbling back as the gatorade falls to the ground, rolling from your feet.

garroth stands shocked, his hand still held out to you and eyes wide. katelyn, stood a step behind him, has an almost identical expression. 

“woah… it’s just me,” he says, voice low and eyebrows pulling together. “why are you so scared?”

you blink rapidly, shaking your head and looking back to the vehicle. garroth and katelyn follow your line of sight, and as their eyes land on the suv it backs out of its spot, before quickly driving away.

“what? who was that?” katelyn mutters.

you shake your head. it’s so hard to breathe.

garroth’s hands land on your shoulders again, and instead of fear you feel comforted by their strength. you tear your eyes from the empty parking spot, looking up at him.

“please. talk to us. you said we wouldn’t keep secrets from each other anymore.”

katelyn picks up the gatorade, pointing to the nearby bench. “she looks like she’s having a panic attack, or on the verge of it. let’s let her breathe for a second.”

garroth’s face twists in guilt, before he slowly nods. “yeah, sorry.”

guiding you over to the seat, he sits next to you while katelyn takes the spot on your other side. you stare forward at the field, listening to the distant sound of your friends’ cheers and shouts as they run around in the grass. it takes a while. a minute. or two. maybe even five or ten. you’re not sure. garroth and katelyn don’t speak, letting silence sit between the three of you and merely exchanging worried glances when you take in a particularly sharp breath. finally, your breaths calm to a slow pace and your shoulders slightly relax, letting you slump back to rest on the bench properly.

“...i moved back here. because of him,” you say, voice more hoarse and whispered than you expected it to be.

“him?” katelyn asks, her head whipping to look back to the parking spot like the suv would still be there. “in that car?”

you nod slowly.

garroth sighs, his eyes trailing down to the necklace that you still had clutched between your fingers. you didn’t even realize you were still holding onto it. stiff fingers release the locket from its confines, your nails leaving deep imprints on your palms.

“i don’t know everything… but my mom kind of told me the reason why you were here. that you had a stalker?”

katelyn quickly looks back at you. “what?”

you take in a deep breath. “yeah. it was that same vehicle. i’ve been seeing it again. i keep thinking i’m just overreacting but…”

you gulp, blinking more tears away again. “i think it’s the same from before. i don’t know how they found me. he found me. i thought i could at least be safe for a year—”

“you are safe,” garroth says, wrapping his arm loosely around your shoulder. the firm and sure way he said it almost makes you believe it. “as long as you’re with us, you’re safe.”

katelyn nods. “i… had no clue. but garroth’s right. we won’t let anything happen to you.”

you shake your head slowly, folding your legs up to your chest. “it’s been happening for so long. i’m so tired of being scared.”

“...why haven’t you told any of us yet?” katelyn murmurs, setting her arm on top of garroths as she also hugs you.

“i didn’t want to draw attention. plus, i didn’t want anyone to know. i wanted to leave it all behind. start over. but he won’t let me.” your nose pricks as tears fall down your cheeks again.

garroth sighs under his breath, the sound tense and almost… angry?

“i’m sorry,” he mutters, glancing up at katelyn before resting his cheek on your head. “i hate seeing you so scared, but i’m glad you told us. from the sound of it you can’t ignore it anymore, and you need us to help and protect you.’

“and we will,” kate adds.

you stare blankly ahead at the field, and take in a deep breath when you see laurance looking over, squinting to get a better look at the three of you with a frown on his face.

“please don’t tell anyone. you can tell our close friends, but i want this to stay a secret...”

“of course,” garroth quickly says. “wasn’t even thinking of telling them until you said anything. this is more than just a small secret.”

katelyn nods, her voice quiet as she seems to process everything. “yeah…”

“and don’t treat me differently,” you mutter, finally looking them in the eyes. “okay?”

they both nod, eyebrows pulled together.

you sigh, looking forward again. “so. you going to prom together?”

garroth guffaws and kate makes an audible noise of shock.

“you just told us the most traumatizing ongoing experience of your life, and that’s how you ease out of that conversation?”

“are you?”

katelyn slowly nods, trying to calm her face into a more pleasant expression. “yeah… garroth actually made me laugh with that stupid voice he does.”

“the hur-dee-dur one?”

garroth laughs, not sounding all that amused but still giving an attempt at it. “yep, that one.”

“good. i’m glad. i think it’ll be fun.”

he nods. “yeah. you know… laurance is a part of the helping crew too. maybe he can take you and we can all go together. that would be a lot of fun, huh?”

you stare in thought, noticing that the boy himself was starting to walk over from the field. you hadn’t even let the thought of attending prom cross your mind, but the thought of dressing up with your friends at a party you technically weren’t supposed to be at sounded like something from the teenage experience you had been craving since you got here.

“yeah. that would be fun.”

©starhvney 2024. do not plagiarize, feed to any AI, or repost my works to any sites.

tag list: @orinlin @pain-in-the-ashe @youmake1mistake @arienic @wasting-away-on-the-internet @angelhyperfixates @remiechu @valentique @kalegrinch

[naomijoestar]

Hewwo!! May I request a platonic bruno gang reacting to a team member who has like. A creepy doll fashion aesthetic? Like makeup and clothes make them look like a spooky porcelain doll? Idk if this makes sense 😭

Masterlist here <3

Ofc you can, and this makes perfect sense! I’m sorry for the late reply 🫶🏽, also I have noticed how much you interact and support me, I always see you in my inbox and I wanna thank you so much for that❤️

Bucci Gang with a member who has a creepy doll fashion aesthetic (platonic)

Bruno Bucciarati

Bruno is polite as always, though you can see a flicker of surprise when he first sees the new look. He leans in, his sharp eyes studying the details with interest. “You have quite a unique style,” he says thoughtfully, his tone carrying genuine appreciation. Though it’s unusual, he respects the confidence it takes to pull off such a distinct appearance. If anyone else reacts poorly, he’s quick to defend your aesthetic. “In our line of work, we’re not exactly traditional, are we?”

Leone Abbacchio

Abbacchio’s reaction is… complicated. At first, he just stares, his mouth pulling into a skeptical line. “Are we fighting enemies, or are you one of them?” he mutters, though there’s no real malice in it—just his trademark sarcasm. Over time, though, he becomes unexpectedly tolerant, even giving a rare compliment. “I suppose it’s better than whatever ridiculous things Mista throws together.” You’d catch him glancing every now and then, as if trying to figure out the logic behind the look, but he’ll never admit he’s intrigued.

Guido Mista

Mista’s first reaction? Pure shock. He almost jumps, then laughs nervously. “Geez, you look like one of those creepy dolls in horror movies,” he blurts out before he can stop himself. Despite his initial fright, Mista warms up quickly and becomes obsessed with the details, poking at your outfit and asking questions about the makeup. He’s always trying to convince you to try other creepy accessories and suggesting wild horror-inspired looks. He’s one of the few who tries to add the doll aesthetic to his own wardrobe, with questionable results.

Narancia Ghirga

Narancia doesn’t hold back—he’s visibly freaked out. “That’s freaky!” he exclaims, staring wide-eyed with a mix of awe and fear. He starts throwing questions your way. “How do you even make yourself look like that? Do you practice in the mirror? Doesn’t it hurt to keep such a serious face?” His curiosity overcomes his initial wariness, and he’ll sometimes follow you around, pestering you to teach him how to do some of the makeup tricks. He ends up respecting it as a “totally hardcore” look.

Pannacotta Fugo

Fugo does a double-take, and for a moment, you can tell he’s genuinely startled. His reaction, however, is more reserved compared to the others. “It’s… very specific,” he says carefully, trying not to sound rude. He’s probably the only one who might subtly encourage a less eerie style, especially if he thinks it might distract or unsettle the group. Still, he eventually realizes that your look actually gives you an air of mystique, and he learns to appreciate it in his quiet, slightly uncomfortable way.

Giorno Giovanna

Giorno’s reaction is subtle but layered. The first time he sees you, his gaze lingers, taking in every detail with a discerning eye. Unlike the others, he doesn’t show surprise or discomfort; instead, he offers a small, approving smile. “You’ve crafted a look that stands out,” he says, and there’s genuine admiration in his voice. Giorno appreciates art and self-expression, and he understands that your aesthetic is more than just a “creepy” look—it’s a statement.

There you go ml <3 I hope you like this! I honestly think this was super cute especially because I personally love experimenting with aesthetics and love dressing up different! Also, if I’m not very active it is because I have been working on something special for my birthday (october 31st; yes, I was born on halloween 👻) 👀, I hope you guys will like it once its out, hehe 🙃

[have-you-seen-my-sanity]

Hello, could you do a dark/yandere Marc or Steven with a reader who has low self esteem and has never loved anyone before? If not, that’s okay.

Hi Anony! <3 I can do that and since you asked for Marc or Steven, I'll make both! :)

Marc and Steven with a reader who has low self esteem and never felt any love

Note: Sorry for being a bit late, I was rewriting some stuff at the Steven part because I made him way too soft at first lol.

Pairing:

Yandere Steven Grant x reader

Yandere Marc Spector x reader

-

Warnings/triggers: Obsessive and possessive behavior, mention of stalking, kidnapping, reader thinks low of themself!

Steven

You stirred softly, eyes slowly opening, making you feel the headache and lightheadedness. You tried moving your hand to touch your head. But your wrist was restrained. Panic began to set in as you looked down on yourself to see your ankles restrained aswell. You took in your surroundings, a small place looking like an apartment room and in the center of the place was a fish tank with a single Goldfish swimming inside. Questions began to form in your head

Why would someone kidnap you? You were just another lowlife on this planet, who never got the chance to love or being loved.

The only person that seemed to like you was the man who worked at the Museum, the guy who wanted to be a tour guide and seemed to have literally studied everything about Egypt. He was always so kind to you, almost too kind. What was his name again? Something with a V, right?

Why would you think he kidnapped you? He seemed like a nice guy after all, he didn't seem like he was capable of such things...

You started trying to yank one of your limbs free, but the restraints were too strong. Realizing you couldn't get out of there by yourself, you remembered being held in a possible apartment complex, so your best and possible only chance was to scream.

Just as you were about to scream your lungs out, you heard the sound of keys getting inserted in the front door. You quickly stopped all movement, closing your eyes to pretent you're asleep, but the your raging heart made in very difficult to try so.

The front door opened, you squinted your eyes open just a tiny bit so you were able to see the silhouette of the person while tricking the person to be still asleep.

The man hummed softly to himself, carrying a bag in his hand before he went past the bed you were laying on towards his corner with the desk. He put the bag down, removed his jacket and went to the kitchen.

You took his brief disappearance to try to yank your arm free, the wood from the headboard creaked, making you get desperate in trying to escape. You were so focused in getting out, that you didn't realize how loud you were.

Soon came a voice from the direction of the kitchen;

"Hey, are you awake?"

You instantly stopped, the sudden call caught you off guard, however the voice sounded familiar.

Footsteps echoing off the walls as he made his way to you, turning on the light and making his way over to the bed.

At seeing him clearly thanks to the light, you gave him an confused look, "Y-you are that guy..." you stuttered.

He gave a soft chuckle in return "So you remember me, hm?"

"Yes but I forgot your name." You replied.

"Steven. My name's Steven." He sat down at the edge of the bed.

Steven.

"Why am I here? Why me? And what do you want?" You asked with a mix of confusion and nervousness.

Steven laughed softly, "You ask alot of questions for being lightheaded."

"Steven, can you please undo those restraints? Atleast make me able to sit up." You pleaded.

"Why don't you rest a lil' bit? I'm sure you need time to process all this, yeah?" He patted your leg gently before standing up.

"W-wait! Can I get some water?" You protested, hopefully making him release you.

"Water? Oh yeah, right, water. Of course." Steven chuckled to himself and made his way back to the kitchen. He came back a minute later with your glass of water, setting it down on the nightstand. "Alright, I'm gonna release your wrists now. But don't think about sneaking away, you hear me?" Steven's voice was soft but the warning was still audible.

Once you nodded he removed the restraints from your wrists so you were able to drink. With a trembling hand, you guided the glass to your lips, taking a few much needed sips before setting it down again.

"Need something for your head? I got something." Steven asked softly.

'Now he wants to drug you? No that's stupid, he already kidnapped you, why would he want to drug you?' you thought

"Yes, thanks." You forced a smile.

Steven nodded and got the med for you.

While you were resting Steven took the time to sort the stuff from his bag before he returned to you after "Feeling better now?" He asked.

"Yeah. But why did you kidnap me?" You asked.

Steven paused, "I...I don't know what came over me, you were always so nice to me, I really started to like you, always so happy to see you, couldn't wait to see you, actually. I even followed you home a few times." He slipped up at the end.

Your eyebrows arched up "You were stalking me?"

Steven cringed a bit "I wouldn't necessarily call it 'stalking'. Just made sure you arrived home savely, y'know, with all those weirdos runnin' around."

"But why would anyone want to kidnap me? What makes me so special?" You asked softly.

Steven frowned "What do you mean?"

You sighed softly, "Nobody loves me, so why even bother kidnapping me? There are better people than me, you know."

Steven raised his eyebrows "That's not true, why are you saying this?"

"I just know it..." You replied flatly, feeling the familiar pressure in your throat signaling tears were not far from spilling out.

Steven bit his lower lip, "Love, come here," he sat down beside you opening his arms for you and you hesistantly leaned in, resting your head against his shoulder, "listen, you are the most beautiful person I've came across." Steven cooed softly, reaching out and gently stroking your hair. "Here, let me get you more comfortable." He removed one of the restraints on your ankles but only loosened the other one just incase.

"You don't meant it, you're only telling me to make me feel at ease." You sniffled.

"No, I mean it." Steven insisted.

"If you mean it then let me go." You demanded.

Steven hummed somewhat amused, "My my, then your kidnapping would be for nothin' don't you think?"

"I promise I won't tell anyone." You pleaded.

"I know you won't." Steven said softly, pulling back gently to get up, "Want something to eat?"

"Not hungry." You shook your head, not wanting to prolong his stay so you could try and run.

"I'll be back, but you wait here, alright?" He said before he turned to walk away. Just as he turned, you took your chance, completely forgetting about the still loose restraint around your ankle, but before the restraint roughly yanked on your ankle and you were about to fall face first onto the floor, Steven catched you mid-air, saving you from the impact.

"See? If you run and I wouldn't be there with you, you'd fall and hurt yourself pretty nasty." He pulled you back on the bed beside him.

"Please let me go. I won't even tell anyone about this, you have my word." You pleaded.

Steven gave you an apologig look "Lemme be honest with you for a second. Y'see, I am the only person who will truly love you. You say to yourself you're not worth anything yeah? I'm not sorry to break it to you, but you are worth of everything."

You just stared at him, you couldn't come up with any arguments.

Steven took your silence and continued, "Feel free to call me crazy but you are just a wonderful person. And if you can't see the worth you have, then I'll make you see it. I promise you that." Steven gently wrapped an arm around your back, pulling you closer.

"That's...I don't even know what to say." You let yourself getting pulled back into his arms, "I've never heard anyone say that to me." you sniffed, the tears building up in your eyes, running down your cheeks, some even into Steven's shirt. You hugged him tightly.

"It's alright, love. It's alright. You don't need to prove your worth to anyone else now, because you have me, and you only need me. I will always love you, I will even spoil you. You'll see."

All these times thinking you were nothing, no love, no happieness faded away as Steven hugged you, brushing the tears away and kissing you softly on your head with the promise of many, many more kisses to come.

-

Marc

Slowly, you came back to your senses, feeling dizzy and the sweet smell was still prominent as you breathed through your nose. You were laying on a soft bed and to your surprise, no restraints were used to hold you in place. Your hands instinctively moving to your pocket to grab your phone, but it was snatched from you. You took another breath through your nose, cringing at smelling the lingering sweet smell again.

Who would have thought that you trip back from Cairo would get you kidnapped. You just got saved from a group of assholes, swinging and posing around with their knives after a kid stole your wallet and made you chase him into an alleyway where the others showed up. Thankfully a man wearing a hat saved you, knocking a few of them out before that kid and another guy shat their pants and ran. You remember how your savior looked back at you, gave you a quick nod before he went to chase the ones that ran.

Where are you?

Did those guys somehow tracked you down and came back?

Is whoever kidnapped you going to kill you?

You propped yourself on your elbows, it was already night by looking out of the window. You sat up, looking around one last time before getting up and made your way to the door of the room.

You opened the door slowly and carefully. There was another room opposite from you and a small hallway towards what looked like the living area. On your way, to your right was another room, peering inside was the well cleaned bathroom, and another room to your left. You made light steps, thinking whoever kidnapped you might still be here somewhere. You arrived at the living area, taking a moment to take the place in, it was a tidy place, a nice couch, big flatscreen tv, some medals hanging on the wall, in the corner of the room was a counter with what looked like Scotch and other hard hitting stuff.

You saw the front door, looking over your shoulder to make sure no one is sneaking up behind you before tiptoeing to it. So focused on getting the hell away from the place, you tripped over a bag on the side with a thud. Looking at it, you saw a pistol peeking just over the zipper. You quickly rose, made the last few steps to the front door and pulling on the handle, only to find that the door was locked. Seeing no other way out, you thought about getting back to the room and try the window. But before you could do that, a voice came from behind you making you jump. Then the light was flicked on, making you squint from the sudden brightness.

"Thought I'd be that stupid, huh?"

Feeling like you just got caught stealing you slowly turned around, seeing him leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. You could see he had your phone in his hand. The guy looked familiar to you, like you've seen him before but couldn't remember correctly.

"Please- I-I...whoever you think I am or what you want, you kidnapped the wrong person." You nervously tried to talk your way out.

He scoffed "Wrong person? You? Nah, I think I got just the right one."

You looked back on the now dark green bag you tripped over and pointed at it "And why the gun? You gonna kill me or something?"

Marc just raised an eyebrow and tilted his head slightly "Kill you? Just because I have some guns? Don't you remember me? Damn, the chloroform really knocked you out." he tried not to laugh.

"Why did you kidnap me? I haven't done anything, I was just trying to get back home." you replied.

"Well... it's... complicated..." He sighed.

"Can't you let me go? I swear I won't tell anyone. No one would believe me anyway. I mean, it seems like you're in the Military, so you sure know how to keep tabs on someone." You tried talking yourself out.

Marc shrugged "I have my ways. And yeah I was. Incase you don't know my name, I am Marc. And before you tell me your name, you don't have to, I already know it."

You took a step away from the door. "Marc, look, I don't know who told you to kidnap me, all I can tell you is, I'm not worth it, I have nothing I could give you, I'm not worth anything. Hell, I am not even worth getting kidnapped..." The sadness in your voice could be heard.

"Some pretty harsh words you're throwing at yourself there, don't you think?" He asked.

"But it's true. Those guys you saved me from, they only target the low ones, they know no one would miss them or put some effort on them." You stated.

Marc didn't admit it, but he felt how you feel, given his childhood with his abusive mother. "Listen," he uncrossed his arms and stepped closer to you, "those assholes were preying on anybody who was walking alone, it wasn't your fault."

"Then tell me why you kidnapped me." You demanded softly.

Marc paused, "I gotta admit I saw you quite a few times walking alone, I never saw you with anyone, and to be honest it was only a matter of time before someone jumped on you."

"So you stalked me?" You replied bluntly.

Marc thought about how to not come off as a creep, "No- I, I saw them looking at you, following you silently before that stupid kid took your wallet. So you could say I was your guardian angel."

That was only half-true, he was watching you more often than he just admitted and knew almost everything about you. You were often hanging around at the center of the popular market, where he was too. In other words he saw you almost every day.

"Thanks for that, really. It means a lot. But please let me go, I won't cause anymore trouble, I will be more careful now." You pleaded.

"I don't think that's a good idea. Look, I never actually catched the other guy and I'm sure they're bigger than that group you were attacked by. You know how such gangs deal with people who escaped, right?" Marc lied. Of course he dealt with the group, he was just manipulating you into thinking they were still out there, looking for some kind of revenge.

"Then I will go to the police. I'll get myself pepper spray for defense and use it if something would happen." You answered nervously.

Marc reached behind himself "What if they show up with this?" he pulled out a gun, he held it with only his thumb and indexfinger, a non-threatingly way, "You think pepper spray could outrun a bullet? Not to mention you could hit your own eyes if you don't use it correctly."

You sighed, "I'm a no one, nobody would miss me if I-...." You trailed off, but Marc knew what you were about to say.

"That's nonsense, you're so much more worth than you admit it yourself. If you were a no one, then why would I have saved you, hm? Because I had nothing else to do?" Marc said softly, "No, because you are worth so much more, you just refuse to see it. But I saw it." Marc slowly made his way to you, putting the gun back and showing you his palms to make you see he did mean it.

"But-but you don't know me. How would you know?" You stuttered, suddenly feeling the urge to cry.

If only you knew how much Marc really knows about you.

"I know if people have their worth or not. Besides... I kinda feel how you felt. But that's a different story." Marc replied softly.

Your eyes were a bit glassy, you never thought someone would think about you the way Marc did and the more you thought about it, the more swelled your eyes became before tears started running down your cheeks. You blinked, looking away to try and hide your face. Marc came to you, gently hugging and patting the back of your head

"Hey, it's okay. You can let it out, I'm here." He cooed softly, feeling how you returned to hug, crying and sobbing.

"D-did you mean what you said?" you sniffed.

"Of course I did. Why would I lie about such thing?" He reassured you.

"No one has ever said something like that to me." You sniffed again.

"Now someone did. And as long as you hear it from me, you don't need to hear it from anyone else, because you only need me." Marc replied somewhat cheekily.

"Thank you, Marc." Marc could hear the genuine smile in your voice, making him hug you a bit tighter.

"I gotcha. But you have to promise me you won't ever try to run, alright? Because without me to protect you, who knows what jerks will show up." Marc began stroking your hair.

"But what if I annoy you?" You sobbed.

"Annoying? Who are you kidding." Marc chuckled.

Marc gently pulled back, looking into your eyes "I swear, if anybody tries to mess with you, they have to go through me first."

You nodded.

"Good. Now you go back to your room, get some sleep and tomorrow I'm gonna get you some breakfast, sound good?" Marc smiled.

"Yes." You smiled back.

"There you go, you're smiling. Means I did something right." He grinned.

Marc gently guided you back to your room. Once there he tucked you in the bed and placed your phone on the nightstand beside you.

"Your phone. But promise me to not try anything with it, alright?" Marc ordered.

"I promise." You nodded.

"Perfect, and now get some sleep. You went through enough shit and I think you need some good rest. If you need anything, just call out for me or feel free to come into my room. As for tomorrow, be prepared to get spoiled by me, starting with some delicious breakfast." Marc smiled before leaning in and placing a soft kiss on top of your head.

[sc0tters]

Home | Nathan Mackinnon

summary: a lot has happened in your life but your favourite moments are with nate, so why did things go so badly?

request: yes/no

warnings: angst, swearing, mentions of drinking.

word count: 4.12k

authors note: this was some purely self indulgent angst icl because after the all star break I'm obsessed with this man so that is why it is my first time writing for him. This took me two days though so I feel like we can justify the addiction of this fic to the completed works!

Life as Sidney Crosby’s younger sister was indescribable.

Nathan had been in your life for as long as you could remember. He came in and out of it given that his friendship had always been with your older brother Sidney. The boys went from role model and fan to best friends and you grew so used to seeing Nate that you couldn’t remember what life was like before him even if it was only a few years ago. 

Sid was a great older brother, probably the best your could have asked for. But as he would send these unnecessary glares in any guys direction the moment the dared to look at you. It was clear that if it wasn’t your last name stopping you from getting a date, it would be your brother instead. 

Cole Harbour was a place you fell in love with. It was always connected with the warmth that came with summer. Those days that left you tanning on the porch or laughing on the boat as the ten year age gap between you and Sid turned to nothing. Every memory that was connected to the lake house only ever had joy with it. You even found yourself attaching to the moments you had with Nate. 

He was the only man, the only person who treated you like you. To Nate you were only ever y/n, never Sidney’s younger sister. So it was no surprise that during your time getting to know Nate you did end up falling for him. 

It was what you thought your best kept secret was. Your love for him was something that you couldn’t explain. He had you feeling dizzy from the mere way he looked at you. If Nate knew how crazy you were about him as your heart would skip a beat whenever you’d hear him talk about another girl. He never seemed to show that he took note about how you acted when Sidney was nowhere to be seen. 

All of that seemed to change one night when it was only the three of you at the house “where did Sid go?” Nate asked as he popped the cap of his beer bottle before he sat in the camp chair next to her. 

You let your bottle clink against his “up to bed.”  Your words were met with a laugh “that old man.” The hockey player rolled his eyes as he shook his head “you think you can survive without your boyfriend?” You teased biting your lip in amusement as he scoffed. 

Nate didn’t hesitate to throw his beer cap at you “hey!” It was your turn to laugh as it hit you square in the face “have to say your brother is not my type.” Nate’s tone was serious as he pressed his lips into a fine line. 

Your fingers ran through your hair as you turned to him “the male party not get you going?” You joked as you turned your chair to face his letting the crackle of the burning wood echo in your ears “believe it or not they don’t.” Nate smiled as he placed his hand on your knee “y’know I’m actually really happy you’re coming to Denver.” You had gotten a job in the city and you took it. Now you were going to be living under his roof until you found your own place. 

It made you match his facial expressions “you are?” Your cheeks grew warm as you tucked your hair behind your ear “yeah I do tinker.” The nickname was something he began calling you after he came over one day to see you struggling to turn on your electric drill. As you struggled to put the screw into it Nate was able to figure out that you were using a star drill bit for a straight screw. When he laughed about it seeing your cheeks turn red your nickname was set, you were his tinker from that moment forth. 

Nate squeezed your knee as the gesture filled you with warmth as it made you feel weak “as Sids friend-” your words were cut off as he raised his hand to stop you in your sentence “I’m your friend too.” Nate pointed out as he had grown to build relationships with all of the Crosby siblings “you know you don’t have to act like you like him when he’s gone.” You had grown so used to the fact that people befriended you because of who you knew that it wouldn’t have surprised you if Nate turned out to be the same. 

In fact you had prepared yourself for the possibility of that reality “is it so hard to believe that I do indeed like you?” Nate scoffed as he watched you get up “if you’re gonna leave then the least you could do is answer me.” The hockey player grumbled as he wrapped his hand around your wrist. 

You hadn’t been this close to him before. Your lips pressed together as you got the chance look at him “look it really isn’t going to change anything.” You pointed out trying to keep your mouth shut “try me tinker cause I’ve got all damn night.” Nate stepped closer to you as he forced your head to look up at him with how close you two now were. 

There was a back and forth in your mind as you groaned “I can’t believe it because I’m in love with you okay!” The words left your mouth quicker than you could process just how dangerous of a game that you were playing “you better mean that tinker.” His voice dropped to barely a whisper as you nodded watching his facial expression soften. 

It took him seconds to bring his hand to the nape of your neck as he dropped his head to now be millimetres from yours. His lips were painfully close as he watched you lick your lips “if you’re not gonna kiss me then let go of me.” Your warning was enough for Nate to throw caution to the wind. His chapped lips were rough against your soft ones. 

Nate wasn’t interested in trying to fight you for power. No, instead he wanted to show you just how much he desired to have you and was finally in a position to have you. His other hand gripped at your waist whilst you let your hands trail up his chest under his shirt “wait tink.” Nate groaned as you let your teeth tug at his lower lip when he pulled away. 

Your lips were tingling as you swore you could still feel his “I need to stop myself cause if I don’t then I am really going to get us both in trouble.” His warning made you grin as you watched him look to where Sids bedroom was “who said I wanted you to stop?” You swore you had never seen Nate snap his head back so fast. 

Because he scanned your face to see for any chance of you lying to him, he came up with nothing “you’re playing with fire tinker.” The hockey player mumbled running his fingers over your lips “and I’m ready to burn.” You mumbled kissing his neck making the boy grunt. 

The hockey player didn’t hesitate to use his strength as he picked you up and threw you over his shoulder “Nathan!” You squealed quickly being shushed off as you laughed “your short little legs wouldn’t move nearly as fast as I would need them to.” It was like clockwork, his legs carried you both into his house before he shut the door. 

As your body hit his bed you quickly realised that he was your new comfort and it was only going to grow stronger as the summer continued on. 

The relationship you had with Nate only seemed to grow stronger as you settled into life in Denver. For the first month you guys agreed to just let things stay casual. The main rule was that you were both allowed to have fun but if you both just so happened to land up in the same bed, it was okay. 

By December as the cold trapped the city, you guys equally found comfort in each other’s arms. So right before the Christmas break Nate gathered the confidence to ask you out. Now it wasn’t some big ceremonial type of thing like most would have expected someone to do coming from the NHL. 

Snow fell on the ground as it made you remember the soft parts of winter that you adored so much were left as evidenced by your long walk with Coco that morning. 

Your hair and coat had sprinkles of white coating your skin. The chocolate Labrador matched your amused expression as you made it back into the apartment “good morning.” Nate smirked as he sipped the coffee that he had freshly made. 

Silence caught you both as you stared at his shirtless body “good morning indeed.” You nodded sending him a wink “go get some water baby.” You mumbled disconnecting the leash as you stroked the dog’s fur before she excitedly ran off. 

Nate opened his arms as he embraced your scent “love how good you are with her.”  He spoke into your hair as he kissed your temple “she’s a good dog.” You smiled as you melted at his touch. 

His hand rubbed your back as you both stood there for a few more moments “when are you meant to go home?” The word now felt so foreign to you, sure your parents were there but you swore the man in front of you was where your home was. 

You grew up being taught that home was a place, walls holding up a roof that a family, your family could live in. But as Nate smiled as he scanned your face “what’s going on behind those eyes tinker?” Nate asked as he tucked your hair behind your ear “I know we agreed to keep things casual.” As your voice was hesitant the boy tensed. 

He was quick to begin preparing himself for the inevitable rejection that part of him knew would have made life easier. This way the hiding and inevitable lies that would be told to Sidney could have been avoided “but?” Nate trailed off waiting to see where you were going with it.

You pursed your lips together “I want more.” Time felt like it froze as the hockey player stared at you before his mouth broke out into a smile and a laugh blew past his lips “that’s not funny!” You complaint furrowing your eyebrows. 

Nate squeezed your body against his as he kissed your head once more “you love me don’t ya tinker?” He teased as he began to pepper kisses along your jaw “Nathan I will kill you.” You’d only ever use his full name to get him thinking that you were mad at him.

A gasp echoed in his ears as it finally made him stop “fucking love you t.” Nate confessed as he pinched his fingers on your chin as he tilted your jaw up to see him as he took the chance to kiss your lips. That was a day that he loved, because that was the day that he asked you to be his girlfriend, even if you would always swear that you asked him first. 

You had always been fond of rollercoasters. There was something about the adrenaline that you found yourself obsessed with. Constantly chasing that height of pure bliss. Yet the last three years were forced to teach you something, what goes up must always come down. 

For you, this was the worst part of your relationship with Nate. And that was all down to the fact that you swore it was the end. 

It surprised you and Nate both that your fighting had gone on this long now. Three whole weeks without a conversation going by positively. It seemed that everything you did pissed him off and vice versa. He drowned himself in his hockey as he avoided the house at all costs. 

He found it easier to ignore the hurt and pain you clearly felt as you were practically forgotten. Because he too was hurt. Nate hated the fact that you couldn’t seem to tell Sid about your relationship. Each time you would sit your brother down citing that you had something important to tell him, you’d end up forgetting how to speak as you would panic and chicken out of it. 

Nate wanted to be able to show you off to the world as he shouted from the rooftops that you were his. Yet you denied him of that right because until you told Sid the most he was getting from you beyond the privacy of his home was a lingering glance of a muffled whisper in his ear. Everyone thought you were together but he had to deny it every single time because it was what you had asked of him. 

Before he was able to bite his tongue about it but now you seemed to bear the brunt of his frustrations. As the team went seven games without a win it left Nate questioning everything, mostly why he was still with you if you weren’t ready to tell Sid. And he hated himself for that, you were his world so it killed him to doubt you. 

What was going to make it all worse was that you had been waiting for two and a half hours for Nate. Sure you guys hadn’t been at your best but this reservation had been set since July. Yes you knew you were stupid but it was your three year anniversary with Nate and you guys had a table at the best restaurant in Colorado. 

Or at least you did until an hour ago when the reservation came and went and there was still no sign of Nate as you cracked open your bottle of red wine “tinker!” Nate called out dropping his gym bag to the ground. 

The soft sounds of your sniffling made him furrow his eyebrows “tink?” He reached the remote for the speaker before he turned it off. Even if the hockey player used to joke about your height, he hated how easily you hid “hey baby.” Nate sighed as he walked into the bedroom that you two began to share two years ago. 

You were in the closet making a mess as you pulled things from your shelves shoving things into your suitcase. But that’s not what caught his attention, no it was empty bottle of wine that sat on its side pointing at your laptop. The screen had a one way flight to Canada “what is this?” Nate felt his head throb as he turned back to see you zipping up your suitcase. 

Pieces of the puzzle finally began to start clicking in his head “you know what day it was today?” You began bringing your hands to wipe your tear stained cheeks “it’s the nineteenth.” A penny could have dropped that moment as his eyes went wide “I’m so sorry.” The hockey player reached out for your hand but you raised it to stop him. 

You had gotten dressed up for the night, Nate’s favourite red dress that always ended up on the floor at the end of the night. Your hair was curled and your makeup was beautiful even if your mascara ran down your cheeks “where were you?” You chewed at the inside of your cheek assuming the worse “prac-” Nate couldn’t even get his words out as you slammed your hand against the wall. 

Those words made you wonder if he truly ever did tel you the truth “Cale fucking told me he left three hours ago!” You yelled lashing your hands around as you swore you were seeing red “I was at the rink okay?” Nate was telling the truth, he had been sat in his car staring out the front window as he wondered how much longer he could do this for. 

You wanted to believe him, truly you did. But as you stared into his eyes you couldn’t find it “I have a flight to catch.” You announced as you heard your alarm go off as you needed to get your Uber “what about our anniversary?” Nate’s words had you laughing “tell me you love me.” Your hand gripped the handle of your suitcase as you stared up at him. 

Nate sighed as his facial expressions softened “you know I do.” He nodded as it only made you frown “need to hear you say it.” It was unclear if you were asking or telling him but as you were met with silence you knew you weren’t going to beg. 

Colorado was a place you began to love but now it had all seemed to turn so awful so quickly that you were left in this toxic environment. The love you felt for Nate could only keep you there for so long but it seemed that tonight was your final straw. No it didn’t leave your love to dissipate but you began to lose yourself in his city. Your head grew heavy but you knew you needed to leave “when will you be back?” His voice was barely a whisper as he stepped to the side to let you go “I don’t know.” All you knew was that you needed to get out of there. 

That’s how you landed back up in Cole Harbour. You knew it would be quiet as it wasn’t peak season. The most interaction you had with people was when you went out to the grocery store or to get more logs for your evening fire as the sun came down over the frozen lake. 

Even as you felt all of this hurt in you, you still couldn’t bring yourself to hate that town. You could see where you and Nate once were like you had the front row seat to rewatch. Part of you contemplated reaching out to Nate but he was now playing the best hockey of his life and you began to wonder if that was because you were no longer there.

That was why you thought you were dreaming when you hit a month of being there when you heard the front door open “I have a weapon!” You called out with wide eyes as you stuck your head down the stairs “with your aim I’m not worried!” Sidney shot back making you instantly grow calm as you dropped his old hockey stick letting it hit the oak flooring. Your brother smiled as he locked eyes with you “Sid.” You gasped opening your arms to him as you were in need of a hug. 

Seeing him there made you realise that you had been lying to yourself, you weren’t okay. You missed Nate, you missed everyone. Parts of you even missed the irritating interactions that you held with your brother as he’d pester you 24/7. No matter how much booze or food that you surround yourself in, it was never going to change the back that you grew to need those people in your life. 

It killed Sid to see the hurt that was painted on your face “how’d you find me?” You had slowly started pulling away as your messages grew infrequent “Nate told me you left and I knew you were here.” Your brother kissed your head as he wrapped his arms around you. 

Everything seemed to stop in that moment as you tensed under his touch “did something happen between you two?” Sid ran his hands over your cheeks as he could sense that something was off. 

After all this time trying you still couldn’t lie to him, sure you could avoid telling him things, but you could never outright lie. On top of that you wanted to tell someone that you loved Nate, maybe that way you could keep your love for him alive in more than just your heart.

You frowned as you looked at your brother “I know I shouldn’t have.” Tears pooled in your eyes as you shook your head “Nate finally made a move huh?” Sidney smiled as he brought his hand to your cheek.

It made you freeze “finally?” You did your best to control your tears “he was in love with you.” The hockey player nodded as he laughed “god that boy thought I didn’t notice the way he looked at you either.” Sidney was so caught up in recounting how obvious Nate was about how he felt about you that Sidney didn’t notice how you smiled. 

That afternoon you told him everything, well everything Sid would want to hear - your sex life wasn’t a topic worth sharing - but part of you just felt guilty seeing how supportive Sidney seemed to be “why don’t you call him?” The offer seemed so easy, in fact it was too easy. 

And that’s why you laughed as you shook your head “I think we’re done.” Your lips pushed together as you raked your fingers through your hair “think he’s still in love with you.” The penguins player didn’t think that this was going to be how he spent his few days that he convinced the team to let him take. 

You let out a sigh as you leaned against him “really?” Sid did this thing where he would twirl your hair through his finger and as you’d fall asleep it seemed to always calm your mind “he called me thinking you were with me.” As he told you that he couldn’t help but notice how you had fallen asleep finally looking at peace for the first time in the entire trip. 

Sidney swore his days of meddling in your life were done until he decided that on his final day in Cole Harbour that you simply deserved better. He knew you weren’t perfect but you couldn’t spend your life hiding out in the lake house. Which is why Nate got the call after a Tuesday night game and he was only meant to be back on the ice on Thursday, it was perfect. 

Your brother had left that morning as he told you to think about going home, not to your parents but to Nate. Whilst you hadn’t made the jump to booking your flight you knew you wanted to go back. So as you grew ready to turn in for the night you enjoyed watching the rain pelt against the windows. Amidst all of the chaos you found within your life it always seemed that rain reacted the same way as when you were happy to when you were at your lowest. 

That was why you were so surprised when you heard a knock at the side door. You hadn’t seen a car pull in and you certainly hadn’t heard anyone walk up. The nerves you felt were low as only people you guys knew seemed to come through the side when they knew you guys were home.

Thunder clapped over the dark skies when you finally opened the door “Nathan.” You gasped seeing his clothing stick to his body as it was all soaked with rainwater “tinker.” Nate didn’t hesitate to pull you into a hug as he swore you were some figment of a dream in his distorted reality. 

To say you were surprised when he kissed your head it was an understatement “I came to bring you home.” You didn’t need to go to Denver to be home “you’re my home.” You mumbled kissing his lips as that was all you ever needed.

You guys were able to look at that moment and say it was the worst moment within your relationship. Being able to bounce off of Nate you guys learned that it was a 50/50 partnership, nothing more and nothing less would end up working out for you. Everyday you grew more in love with him even in those times you thought it wasn’t going to be possible. 

So years on as you looked at your three boys playing with their uncle you couldn’t help but smile as you thought about how far you both came “what?” You asked feeling Nate stare at you whilst your eyes stayed on Sidney who was teaching them to drive the boat “just thinking about how much I love you.” Nate shrugged hooking his fingers under your chin so he could kiss you. 

The moment was sweet until you heard the scoff “lovebirds if I’m free child care then whatever this is, is off the menu tonight!” Sid’s complaint made you both laugh as you rested your head on Nate’s shoulder, you were home.