#'im just so loved and settled with this person that i don't feel scared of eating around them'

[sugarpopss]

maybe i've been talking to @saintaegon too much but like. I'm SORRY but happy weight is the cutest concept love love loooovveee

[zweig-eater]

MESSY LOVE patrick zweig

you stared at him blankly as he rambled out some other excuse for his behavior. you had been fighting too long, and you were numbed and tired of it all. your head hurt and your heart was aching. after all this time, still nothing had been accomplished. patrick still believed he was in the right and he was even going to great lengths to make you believe that as well.

“you know, you are actually being quite selfish” he said, and that one line caught your attention back.

“how fucking dare you patrick… you are un-fucking believable.” you spit back at him with tears stinging the waterline of your eyes. you continued, only fueled by the hurt settling in your chest. “i’m selfish? for wanting to be more then some fuck buddy you use to get off?” your words felt like daggers as his gaze dropped. “i’m selfish? for thinking we could be something real? for holding you to promises you have made?”

as you laid into him, your head was pounding, eyes burning, and your body just felt entirely weakened. this was all getting to you, and you just wanted to sink into some sort of comfort and be safe for the night.

“can't you see how bad you're hurting me?” you asked, almost desperately, as a tear finally fell from your eye; and you sat, collapsing down on your bed, giving into the exhaustion this fight had forced you into.

and just like that patrick was on you. his feet moved so swiftly you hardly noticed before he was kneeling right in front of you. his hand reached up to your cheek and held the side of your face, fingers hooking around to the back of your neck and stabilizing you.

“hey, hey, look at me… im right here. i’m sorry baby, i’m so sorry” he pleaded with you. his rigid and cocky exterior cracking and falling immediately at the clear sign of you in pain. he was kneeling in front of you, sitting between your knees hanging off the bed. his free hand wrapped around the back of your calf, sweetly stroking it.

you grabbed at his shoulders, fisting his shirt, both pushing him away and pulling him in. even you weren't sure where or how close you wanted him. on one hand, he was the only person who you wanted comforting you right now. but on the other hand, he was the reason you were in this state in the first place.

“n-no, no youre not” you refuted with tears streaming profusely now. “you’re not sorry pat, you don't even ca-”

“y/n i'm in love with you” he cut you off before you could finish whatever you were trying to say. before you could continue thinking any longer that you werent the most important thing in his life. you were, and he knew that. and it scared him. he was never the type to fall in love, or to trust, or to be entirely vulnerable with someone. but you brought it out of him, and he was done running from that feeling.

your eyes met his, widening at his confession. you were staring at him, your mouth slightly agape as your fuzzy brain wrecked itself to try and wrap around what he had just said.

“you're the best thing that has ever happened to me. and i'm an idiot for letting you spend even a minute not knowing that” his hands settled around your waist, arms resting on the bed. his fingers lightly traced your lower back and lulled you ever so closer to him. “you have set every inch of my being on fire and i refuse to imagine living a day of my life without you. i’ve never been in love, and it terrifies me.. i’m scared of what i might do to ruin this, or how i might make you hate me. but i know now that i’m willing to risk it. i’m so ready to learn all the beautiful and messy aspects of true devotion with you. because you are worth it. god, y/n, you are worth fighting any amount of fear or pain for.” he finished, eyes welling with water himself now.

you stayed silent. you let every word he said soak into your skin, then your muscles, then your heart. gently, your hands raised, one resting in the crook of his neck, the other finding his curls. together they guided his face up and towards yours. He watched you so closely, as he let you move him into you. his lips quivered with longing as they inched closer to yours. a faint tearful sigh escaped his lips just as they latched onto yours.

his hands gripped you with the force of a man clinging to a life support, yet still with the gentleness of you being a delicate porcelain doll. the kiss held so much passion you thought you might both catch on fire. burning with love and the need for the other to feel how important they were. your tongues swirled together as if trying to get infinitely closer to the other. as you pulled away, both your cheeks stained with tears, patricks lips quirked up into a smile for the first time all night.

“you’re an asshole” you told him, gently pushing his shoulder and grinning dumbly at him. his eyes gleamed at you, so full of love, his pupils were blown out and everything. “why couldnt you just say that before we wasted all night arguing?” you asked, giggling and hooking your hands under his arms, tugging him lightly to join you on the bed.

“where’s the fun in that?” he quipped back sarcastically as he crawled onto the bed and hovered above you, pushing you on your back. “you’re so beautiful” he whispered, dazing at you, like you had never seen before. “i’m so sorry baby, i shouldn't have argued… let me make it up to you” he smirked as his head dipped down and planted a sweet but wet kiss on your neck.

as his head lifted and eyes locked back onto yours. you swallowed any fear left in your throat and returned his confession with how you truly felt about him. “i love you pat,” you told him. the words sounded so sweet he needed his lips back onto yours to taste them.

“i love you baby, so much” was the last thing he said before he kissed you again, this time with a new level of tenderness.

[peachhcs]

losing the championships

hughes!sister x will smith au (samy + will)

will's self-doubt creeps in after losing the finals making him snap at the one person who's always there for him, almost making her turn her back on him.

2.6k words

warnings: a bit of angst, arguing, crying, this is a sad post in general

ik im feeding y’all rn but i feel weird putting this out in two days and not now haha, but guys you know i had to do it. i had to get the angst out. i think this is like the first angsty post in the series?? i hate when there is angst, but i love writing it lmao. i'm not sure how accurate some of this is, but i hope the trio stays on for another season!! i'd actually be devestated if they don't. anyways keep requesting!! <3

au masterlist

it didn’t feel real. nothing felt real watching her best friends crumple to the ice in utter defeat and heartbreak just two days after winning the semifinals. samy stood up in the stands nearly motionless while everything around her fell silent. she didn’t think those moments were actually real whenever they played in movies, but here she was hardly focusing on anything but her best friends in tears. 

her eyes couldn’t leave ryan on his knees with his face in the ice. she just wanted to wrap all of them into her arms so none of them would feel this type of pain anymore. 

the stupid jumbotron panned to everyone’s reactions, basically putting the boys on full blast when they most definitely didn’t want anyone to see them crying like they were. samy’s heart only broke further when she finally looked down at her boyfriend trying to hold himself together while comforting a sobbing ryan and teary gabe. 

her own eyes grew teary seeing those three so destroyed not knowing what was next for any of them. that was probably the scariest part. 

when will searched for samy’s gaze the waterworks broke like a dam for the couple. the youngest hughes was completely crying and will’s shame settled into his skin that he lost the game without even scoring a single point. 

their coach urged the boys down the tunnel before the cameras could get any more shots of them. samy tried pulling herself together, but her hiccuping cries didn’t stop slipping out no matter how hard she tried holding them in. 

boston’s side of the lobby was nearly silent which almost mirrored michigan’s team two days ago. suddenly, seeing those happy memories wasn’t as easy anymore. samy’s mind raced wondering if this game really was the last for her favorite trio or if they’d stay on one more season with boston. 

thirty minutes passed before the bc boys slowly trickled out of the locker room. their bloodshot eyes and tear stained faces were enough to send more tears into samy’s own eyes. her lip quivered waiting for her boyfriend to appear, but he didn’t come out after his usual spot behind ryan and gabe. the two boys found samy’s gaze, frowning even deeper. 

“hey, i’m so sorry. i-i have no words,” samy brought them into big hugs hoping to ease a bit of their ache. 

“what a fucking night,” ryan muttered bitterly. 

“you guys played well. those refs were idiots making calls,” the brunette shook her head. 

“will’s still in there. he’s..he’s not taking this one too well. you can go in if you want, but he may explode. I i don’t want you to think he’s mad at you, he’ll just find something to take his anger out on,” gabe explained briefly. samy’s eyes slid towards the locker room doorway where her boyfriend hid. 

“don’t worry, i know how he gets. I’ll see if i can talk to him,” she couldn’t be scared of will. 

he was her best friend and boyfriend. he’d never intentionally hurt her and if he said things, she knew he was just angry with himself, not her. the girl shuffled her way towards the locker room trying to put on a brave face for will’s sake. 

she knocked on the door before slowly pushing it open. her eyes scanned the practically empty room until she found her boyfriend slumped in his stall at the end of the benches. her hands trembled as she slid further in and leaned against the door. 

“will?” 

his eyes snapped towards hers. he looked like a mess and that only unleashed more waterworks seeing him in this state. it wasn’t one samy saw him a lot in, so when she did, it hurt extra hard. 

“if you’re here to try and make me feel better, i don’t wanna hear it,” the boy mumbled bitterly which quickly caught samy off guard. 

she wasn’t expecting that from him so immediately. 

“i’m not. just here to be with you,” the girl said, trying to hide the shake in her voice. 

“well, i’m not really in the mood to be around anyone right now. just go. i’ll be out in a few minutes,” the bitterness in his voice definitely stung, but samy tried shaking him off knowing he was just upset. 

“will..” she inched forward, wanting to reach out to him. he looked as if anyone touched him he’d just break into a million pieces. 

“i said go. i don’t need your fucking sympathy. i feel feel like shit,” the blonde snapped this time making samy instantly draw back. 

“i know you’re upset, i get it. this loss fucking sucks. i’m just trying—” 

“you don’t fucking get it, samy! i just lost the championship game 2-0. we scored zero points. you know how fucking embarrassing that is? i’ve been trying to prove myself all season about how good i can be and then i lose the championship game. you’ll never fucking get it!” there it was. 

will’s tone rose with anger and hurt all mixed into one. samy swallowed the nerves climbing higher in her stomach as she tried remembering none of this was really directed at her. she was just the person will was getting his anger out on. 

“i-i do get it, will. remember my championship game in december? we choked. i-i get it, i do. it sucks and i’m so sorry it ended this way. i wish it didn’t—”

“stop saying you get it. it’s not the fucking same. you’ve never had to work for anything in your life because of your family!” 

the blonde’s harsh words finally hit a nerve. samy’s face twisted and she didn’t know anymore if he really didn’t mean it or not, but through the anger, will realized what he said. 

“samy..i didn’t—”

“fuck you, will. you of all people should know how hard i’ve worked to be where i am right now. i know you’re upset about everything right now, but you don’t need to bring me down to make yourself feel better. don’t bother waiting up. i’m leaving with ryan and gabe,” samy stormed out of the locker room before will could say anything more.

the tears streamed down her face as soon as she was in the lobby again. ryan and gabe instantly noticed her distraught expression, immediately going to her. 

“shit, what happened?” ryan muttered. 

“can we just go? i can’t deal with him right now,” samy choked out. the two exchanged a worried glance, but obliged. 

the whole ride back to the hotel was nothing but silence as everyone reeled from the disappointing night. 

—

gabe let samy camp out in his hotel room for the night. he didn’t dare ask her what happened in the locker room knowing she’d tell him if she wanted to; however, the dark-haired boy wanted to go knock some sense into will knowing he most definitely snapped too hard at samy which made her want to avoid him. 

it was almost two in the morning when there was a small knock. still awake, the two exchanged wary glances, so gabe got the door. 

he pulled it open to reveal a very weary, teary-eyed, sad, and frustrated will. for a moment, gabe almost let him in, but he stopped himself because he didn’t want the boy blowing up at samy again. the girl sat nervously on the bed just out of sight of the door listening in on them.

“is she here?” will rasped out, voice dry from the amount he cried after samy left the locker room and getting back to the hotel. 

“i’m not sure i wanna answer that,” gabe stood his ground. 

“come on, perreault. leno said he didn’t have her,” will tried again. 

hearing how wrecked he sounded broke samy’s heart all over again. gabe gazed back at her, a look in his eyes asking her if she really wanted to see him. 

even though he insulted her, something in samy was still trying to justify it for him being upset and angry. she really wanted to believe he didn’t mean it. with that, the girl crawled off the bed and shuffled her way behind gabe’s 6’1 figure. 

“we can talk in your room,” samy mumbled. 

“o-okay,” the shake in her boyfriend’s voice made samy want to lunge herself at him and make all the pain go away, but she had to stand up for herself still. 

“you’re sure?” gabe wondered before letting her go. 

“i’m sure. i’ll see you tomorrow,” she rubbed his arm and stepped around him. 

her and will walked three doors down where his hotel room was. it was basically hers too since most of her stuff was scattered across the room over the past few days they’ve been there. 

will shut the door behind them. the brunette looked at him expectantly knowing she said everything she could. a beat of silence passed before the tears quickly filled the blonde’s eyes and he started completely sobbing in front of her. he crumpled against the door, choking sobs falling from his lips as he body sunk into the ground. 

for a second, samy just stared at him until her instincts kicked in and she went to him without hesitation this time. 

“oh will,” she curled into his side, stroking his hair as his body fell into hers. 

“i’m so sorry. i didn’t mean any of it. i don’t know why i said it. i was upset and i know that’s not an excuse at all,” the boy rambled into her shoulder. 

“i know this loss hurts, but taking your anger out on people with harsh words isn’t gonna make it better,” samy said.

“i know, i know. i-i’m so sorry. i shouldn’t have lashed out on you. that’s not fair to you at all.” 

“i was just trying to comfort you like i always do after losses,” the girl hated seeing her boyfriend so upset like this. his tears dripped everywhere on her even after samy tried wiping them away with her thumb. 

“i know. i shouldn’t have pushed you away like that. i just.. I didn’t want you to see me like that,” will’s voice grew softer at his small admission. 

“what do you mean like that?” i’ve seen you lose games before.”

“i don’t know if this is how you felt after your soccer game, but i felt so pathetic for losing a championship game where we didn’t even score. my pride was hurt and i worried you’d think i wasn’t good enough anymore because i lost like that,” his words continued breaking samy’s heart. 

she grabbed ahold of his face so he was looking at her, “i’d never think any less of you because you lost. it happens. you’re not pathetic for losing and i promise it doesn’t make me look at you any differently.” 

“i guess i’m just always scared you’ll get sick of me and realize i’m not actually worth it. that and a hundred other emotions were just going through me and it came out really wrong,” will frowned. 

a small sigh escaped the girl’s lips hearing the boy she’s known all her life doubt himself so much. “you’re always worth it, will. nothing’s ever gonna change that for me, okay? i’m always gonna be in love with you and wanna be around you win or lose, whatever's happening in your career. you’re stuck with me,” a small laugh escaped their lips at the last part. 

“i know that. i just get really doubtful when i get down on myself and hard losses like that happen.” 

“i get it, but i’m not going anywhere, okay? you played your best tonight, those refs were making shit calls and unfortunately, denver just figured us out.” 

a small nod came from will. he pushed his forehead onto samy’s just trying to ease all the thoughts running through his mind while focusing on the way she ran her fingers gently through his hair and around his curls. some of his roots were rough and red from the way he pulled harshly on them earlier, so her gentle motions slowly eased the ache. 

“i’m scared that i don’t know what’s gonna happen next with any of us,” will spoke again after a small silence. 

he lifted his head again to meet his girlfriend’s gaze before leaning it against the door. 

“are you gonna sign on?” the idea played in samy’s mind as well after tonight’s game. 

the decision was entirely up to the coaches of each of the guy’s respective teams, but considering how well all of them played and improved in one season, they may want them sooner rather than later. 

“i don’t know. it’s up to whether the sharks want me now or later,” will answered. 

“have you talked to ryan or gabe? what they may do?” 

“washington’s pushing closer to the playoffs. they may want ryan on for it. i dunno. gabe’s most likely gonna stay. i don’t think the rangers are quite ready for him yet. the ideal situation is we all stay one one more season with boston,” will explained a bit, his fingers drawing mindles shapes into samy’s leg. 

“what do the sharks say about you?” the girl wondered with a raised eyebrow. 

“you know what they say about me. they want me now. they wanna wait another year. it’s..sort of up to me i guess,” will shrugged a bit, avoiding eye contact. 

“would you sign on now?” she rephrased her question from earlier. 

“if i sign on now, my entire life gets flipped around in a week and i have to move to california, but then i’d possibly get to play in the playoffs. if i wait, i get to stay with boston and everyone for another year and more importantly, see you more frequently than if i was in california,” samy rolled her eyes at the last part—he was always so down bad for her. 

“don’t make the decision based on me, will. you’ll see me still.” 

“i know, but i think i do subconsciously anyway. you’re just my life now,” his words sent a deep blush across the girl’s cheeks. 

“i’m flattered,” she rubbed the side of his cheek making him lean into her touch. 

“you’re everything to me, samy. i’m really, really in love with you and i can’t imagine my life without you in it,” will smiled softly. 

the girl flushed, but returned his smile. hearing those kinds of things come out of his mouth was still something the brunette was getting used to even after 9 months of being together. 

“you’re everything to me too, will. i love you a lot.” 

the boy leaned forward to place a gentle, yet loving kiss on her lips. they melted into one another, small sighs escaping their mouths at the contact. her hands tugged at his curls while his own curved around her waist, pulling her impossibly closer like he needed her as close as possible or else he couldn’t function. 

part of it was true. without samy, will was lost like a fish in the ocean. she was a part of him and he was a part of her. they were intertwined and always would be. her soft lips soothed every single thought and self-doubt will had because as long as his favorite girl believed in him, that was all that mattered. 

“i know i said this already, but thank you for being here. it means a lot to me,” will said when they pulled apart. 

“i’d never miss this. i’ll always skip classes for you,” she grinned. 

the boy beamed, pulling her back in for another kiss. 

the two didn’t get into bed until nearly 3:30 in the morning. samy curled into will’s side, his arm tightly around her as she laid on his chest. the tension in the air completely dissipated and the cries died down. things felt okay again. 

they’d sleep tangled in one another all night knowing the next morning samy had to catch her plane back to michigan and will would be left with one big decision that would decide what plane he had to catch. 

[aechii]

Heyy, first of all I just wanna say I love your writing and I really really appreciate you writing for black readers 💖 I wanted to request a kylian story about reader meeting his family for the first time, maybe bonding with his mom and Ethan if thats possible 😊 (also are we getting a second part for good luck charm??)

₍⁠₍ ONE OF US ₎⁠₎

PAiRiNG ?! boyfriend!kylian x black!femreader

GENRE ?! romance, fluff (😞)

C/W ?! written in 3rd person since i can't write in 2nd person for shit, she/her pronouns used, kylian whines alot, ethan is too mature for his own good lool, KYLIAN ISN'T DRIVING !!!

A/N ?! i luvvvv this request :) im glad you appreciate my works, it means a lot to me since i really want to make my black readers feel included <3

tried to make it not too fluffy (😞) but im sorry if i failed. part 2 of 'good luck charm' will be the next fic released after this so stay tuned for that (hopefully before the end of this week). anyways, hope i did ur request justice, anon 🖤

~°~

one and a half hours on road, and the ending of the everlasting queue of cars and headlights seemed out of sight. a traffic light suspended from the sky, like a descending black orb, and [y/n] tilted her head as she leaned forward to observe it. sighed, resting back as the lowness of her car's hood rendered her efforts futile, and instead, relied on the agonising snail-speed of the moving cars ahead.

"traffic's heavy today."

kylian responded with a quiet hum, tapping her thigh to the beat of the playing song, "yeah, bad day to go out but my mum's expecting you."

fear hovered just beneath her skin and kylian noticed the tremble of her hands. they gripped the steering wheel, as if to strangle it dead, sure that the grooves of the grips had indented into her palms. he gave a reassuring squeeze to her leg, then stretched forward to peck her cheek.

"you'll be alright, they'll love you."

her eyebrows remained crinkled, "are you sure?"

kylian gave an affirmative nod, "of course— honestly they'll love anybody who isn't me."

she knew his words were a tad bit hyperbolic, but it made her laugh anyways.

"really?"

"yeah. their dear kylian can be a handful sometimes."

[y/n] was quick to nod at that, "you're not wrong there."

in any other instance, kylian would find fault in her words and be haste to correct her, whining. yet, he watched how the knots of her fingers grew loose and how her shoulders untensed and settled with ease, and bit his tongue.

silence dallied in the car, save kylian's hums of every song that cried from the radio. the congestion had lightened and they both rolled forward a couple of feet per minute.

"quick warning though, ethan is most likely to drag you to play fifa with him. don't be scared to say no," kylian rolled his eyes after; she found their bond way too endearing and wholesome for her heart to take.

"says that he needs to add to his fifa kill count, and literally verses anybody he can," he proceeded. [y/n] would think he meant his irritation if she didn't peak the slight grin that ghosted his lips. he could never dislike the boy, of course.

"i see where he gets his competitiveness from," she joked, surging the car forward as the light turned green. the motorway is long left behind, and the distant city blended and smothered into the view before them.

"are you one of his kill counts?"

kylian kissed his teeth, and it triggered a hearty laugh from the girl beside him, "that's not even the point. i've demanded rematches and he still refuses to."

"babe, i think it's a sign that you should suck it up and accept that he's better than you at fifa."

"in your dreams," arms were crossed and he ignored her grin, looking out the window, "i'm forcing him to play today."

the gps ordered her to take a left, and she swiftly took the sharp corner, bustling streets dwindling behind them as they entered a quieter road.

"i will be supporting you— although i can't guarantee that i will for all of the games you play."

"so- what? you'll be rooting for ethan?" his words left his mouth as if they were bitter and salty on his tongue.

"mhm."

she only said that to rile up the man, finding humour in his disdain. in kylian's eyes, [y/n] was his, and only his, hype woman.

"traitor."

"love you too."

they fell into tranquil muteness as the sight of kylian's childhood house is unveiled by the skyscraping evergreen trees that seemed to be a habitual plant around this side of paris. it's not entirely big, but large enough that, from the outside, it was obvious that it situated two floors. gated and neatly groomed grass carpeted the front lawn, bright green and dotted with white. daisies, she predicted.

the car undulated to a halt, and [y/n] released a sigh.

"we're here... finally."

kylian shifted in his seat, facing his girlfriend, "yeah, we are." reached to scoop her hands in his, "and as i said, you have nothing to be scared about. i love you, hm? even if they don't like you, which i highly doubt will happen, it won't change a thing, okay?"

nodded and tilted forward to kiss her boyfriend. kylian's hand rested gently upon her cheek as he deepened it, lips tenderly harsh as he attempted to portray his words into action, too. a ping from his phone caused them to break contact, turning it on as he read the text from the notification bar.

mama ❤️ i see a car outside. stopping hogging the poor girl and come inside, it's too hot.

"who is it?" [y/n] asked.

kylian showed her the text and she softly chuckled as she read it, "you heard her. let's go."

they depart, not before kylian gave her hand a reassuring peck, and they amble to the front door.

kylian looked at her, finger at the ready to poke the doorbell, "ready?"

"i think so, yeah."

+_-

greeted with a warm, encompassing hug, [y/n] was pulled inside, her boyfriend complaining behind her as he was left behind.

"okay, forget your own son then," he gruntled, closing the door as the warm air from outside began to mesh with the cold one inside.

fayza, his mother, kissed her teeth. undeniably kylian's mother.

"as if i don't see you more than i want to."

an arm circled [y/n]'s waist, head tucking itself into her neck as lips muttered complaints into her skin. she patted his hand in faux sympathy.

they're escorted to the back garden, filled to them brim with kids no taller than her waist, and chattering adults. it was welcoming chaos, one that made her feel settled and content because everyone was happy, doing they're own thing as they gathered as one family.

and now, she was to be one of them.

broken out of her reverie, fayza's voice cut through the cacophony, and all heads turned toward their direction.

"everyone, meet [y/n], kylian's girlfriend. make her feel comfortable and at home for me," her face was illuminated with a smile.

a little voice, she presumed was of one of kylian's nieces, sounded from just beside them.

"she's very pretty!"

[y/n]'s heart swelled, and she untangled herself from her boyfriend's hold, crouching down in front of the infant, "thank you, love. what's your name?"

she reponded, full of eagerness, "marie!"

[y/n] chuckled, "you have a very pretty name, don't you?"

the toddler nodded, as she signalled for [y/n] to pick her up. arms wrapped around the small girl securely, she stood up, swirling the girl around as she giggled loudly, then began to ask her questions about her and kylian's relationship. her curiosity was overwhelmingly adorable and [y/n] could feel her face muscles ache at the undying smile.

kylian watched from the doorframe, eyes drenched in obvious adoration as his girlfriend began to go around, socialising with the rest of his family. his sister is quick to welcome her with a hug and a kiss to the cheek, ruffling the curls of her daughter in [y/n]'s arms. if he hadn't decided to grow old with the girl, he certainly did now, for the sight of his most beloveds intertwining with so little difficulty made him feel full with joy.

+_-

the little girl in her arms began to grow restless, and with the sweltering heat beating upon her skin, [y/n] unleashed the hyperactive kid, submerging back into the air conditioned space inside. she went to look for kylian, stopping at the door of the living room (overly spacious, but embossed with pictures and trophies, made it feel smaller and more homely than expected) as she noticed two boys frantically clicking button on a controller, tv glowing with running, animated people in a sea of green. decided to not disturb and leave kylian to (hopefully) reign victorious this time round.

[y/n] found herself exploring the corridors of the house, gazing into framed photos hung upon the walls. a family so deeply knitted that not one was left out, and she couldn't help the thought of her face one day being displayed with pride, maybe with kylian beside her, or maybe just her, as she alone was enough to be one of them.

she ventured into the kitchen absentmindedly, meeting fayza stirring into a steam pot, napkin draped over her shoulder.

pushed all her nerves aside as she saw an opportunity to bond with her mother-in-law, "is there anything i can help with, ma'am?"

she was quick to spin around, a smile blooming as she recognised her voice, "you want to help?" [y/n]'s gesture was thoroughly appreciated, but the question left fayza's throat apprehensively.

"yes," then a laugh, accompanied by a permanent smile, "kylian is playing fifa with ethan so i really have nothing to do."

the older woman grunted knowingly, shuffling through the kitchen as [y/n] shadowed her.

"that's all the do when he comes here," a freckled hand is waved, aloof, "don't mind them."

she slid a bowl of freshly washed vegetables, dappled with droplets of water, "dice these for me, dear."

[y/n] acquiesced promptly, and the kitchen swiftly subsided into a warm silence. she chopped them with such experienced velocity, and fayza showed her an approving smile, althought she was too focused to notice.

"you know what you're doing."

the girl turned to the woman next to her, grinning, "have to be, or kylian would be a lost cause."

the guffaw that followed was thick with expectance and genuine hilarity, "you're very funny, looking after that boy isn't an easy task."

"you can definitely tell me about it," she fell silent as she focused on cutting off the butt of the onion, "but i love him, and forever will."

fayza felt her skin buzz with exhilaration and couldn't fight the urge to hug the lady helping her.

"you're such a lovely girl, perfect for my kylian," broke the hug and scanned the face of the girl that had her son immeasurably in love, "stand by him, okay? people out there are harsh, and, yes, i know that he's a strong boy, but with you beside him, he'll be stronger."

[y/n] exhaled, leaning against the counter as fayza started to fry the vegetables that she had chopped, "i won't lie to you and say it's easy because it's not," a hand rubbed down her face, "i don't get why people are so... brutal. it's like the only focus on his negatives when they lose, but praise him when they win, and i see that it gets to him a lot."

fayza knew what they, as a family, holding the name mbappé, just like the one that etched the back of france's golden boy, were getting themselves into. a life no longer hidden, everything was out and vulnerable for everyone to see, and if each blink and breath wasn't scrutinized by 'fans' (as they liked to call themselves, but tend to act otherwise) then something wasn't right.

"that's just how the world is, dear. they're backstabbers, running wild with no inch of humanity left in them. but you have to remain sturdy, be it alone or with the support of other people. and for kylian's case, he has us."

us. [y/n]'s skin crawled with thrill.

"you're part of the family, now, [y/n]," fayza smiled, eyes lined with aged wrinkles, deepened with the peaks and troughs of the past, and still to, with what was yet to come, "one of us."

she smiled, heart clashing with her ribs, "thank you, fayza. it really means a lot."

she returned it, arms agape, "it's nothing, dear. now, come here!"

[y/n] entered her arm, laughing loudly as her mother-in-law kissed her forehead, "and remember, if kylian ever does anything wrong, tell me, and i'll deal with him."

"i definitely will, ma'am."

she was given a disapproving look in return, "ma'am? please, call me fayza, or mum, which i prefer." winked and laughed.

however, their moment was cut short as shouts outside the door began to crescendo.

"—not only are you running away but your running to your girlfriend who i didn't even know was here!"

the kitchen is penetrated by the fury of two boys, of which their ages were miles apart but would think were near by how they acted, kylian's face contorted into a frown, "it would be a curse to introduce her to you, ethan."

the teenage boy gasped, kicking his brother, "take that back!"

"over my dead body!"

ethan scowled back, looking at her, before any trace of his negative expression seemed to disappear into thin air, "[y/n]! oh my days, you're prettier in real life!"

she grinned sheepishly, "thank you, ethan."

kylian, however, found no amusement in his words, hiding his girlfriend behind him, "oh please stop that crap. get yourself your own girlfriend!"

"and you just love hating! i bet your girlfriend is better than you at fifa."

"take. that. back."

"let's see it," he walked towards her, putting on the best puppy eyes he could muster, grabbing and tugging her arm, "please, [y/n]? play fifa with me?"

kylian glared at him, slapping his hand away.

"don't touch her!"

she turned to look at fayza, who nudged her head, "don't worry about it, go and take those hooligans with you."

+_-

10 minutes later, ethan was one goal down, with [y/n] on a aggregate score of 3.

"you're good at this— like good good. better than kylian."

to ethan's satisfaction, his older brother had been summoned by his mother to help her, saying he 'needed to use that football strength to good use'.

"how the hell did he even get a girlfriend like you? way too good for him, in my humblest opinion." she knew his question was far from ill-mannered, and didn't take it to heart. ethan tend to say whatever came to his mind at that moment.

"he definitely tried his hardest to ask me out," [y/n] stated, chuckling at the ever-vivid memory of his unrelenting advances.

"he's never one to give up, is he?"

she shook her head, "absolutely not. gave him my number for professional use only, and he saw the opportunity to flirt with me."

ethan visibly cringed at the fact, "that's embarassing."

"it was cute," she shrugged, "until it actually started to work and it all went downhill- or rather uphill- from there."

ethan's irises glimmered as he attempted a shot, but took in a sharp breath as he missed.

"all i can say is, he loves really hard. hasn't loved anyone as much as you, but from what i hear from him about you, he's deeply infatuated. i think it's scary, at this point," paused to regain his bearings as the ball was within [y/n]'s possession once again, "but, as much as i make fun of him, he's a good person. sometimes too good for his own sake."

he spoke truth. truth that hurt, because kylian's kindness was constantly taken for weakness, but he always, without fail, moved past it without another thought wasted.

"and he hides how much it affects him."

"exactly," ethan responded immediately, then laughed, "you know him just as much, or even more than me."

[y/n] grinned, "happens when you spend everyday with the boy. he's more readable than he thinks."

"or maybe you adore him so much that you just... care."

silence, then, "or maybe that."

it was only the noise of intense clicking and frustrated sighs that filled the room for a few minutes. it was a relaxed quietude, one that none saw the need to disrupt, but ethan wanted to express how grateful he was for [y/n]'s presence in his brother's life. it was comforting to know that he had someone, that wasn't a platonic friend, to confide in and find solitude in.

"you two were definitely meant to be."

"you think?"

"yeah," he looked at her, taking a hand off of the controller to punch her lightly in her arm, "i see you becoming [y/n] mbappé, one day."

"really?" her voice was incredulous, "you see me being one of you lot?"

"come on [y/n]," ethan rolled his eyes affectionately, "you're already one of us."

[starbunii]

HIII HELLO can I request non-despair HPA Rantaro x Reader? I am such a sucker for high school romance it’s sooo so cute… and maybe I am a liiittle biased towards this idea LOL but 😇 I figured I’d ask!! Thank you sm!!

. kiss, kiss fall in love 𓂃 ♥︎

𝜗𝜚 ┈ rantaro amami x reader ! ｡

notes: THIS REQUEST WAS SO CUTE AWAWWAWA IM ALSO A SUCKER FOR HIGH SCHOOL ROMANCES, SO TYSM FOR REQUESTING WAHHHH <33 also!! the reader here is kind of based off of coco's yume!! please go check out their account, bc yamabuki is so cute and their art is amazing!

oneshot ノ fluff ノfem! reader ノnon-despair hpa au!

second person pov !! please enjoy! ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶

-- ♡ --

He was so...interesting to you. The moment he walked into the classroom, he immediately caught your eye.

Now, you knew love at first sight was hard to come by; it was rare, and would only strike when the universe deemed fit. But god damn, there was just something about him.. Those eyes that were reminiscent of precious gems, the slight tan of his skin combined with the freckles littering his body, his piercings; a mark of a life well lived.

At lunch, you couldn't help but stare. There was just something about the way he tilted his head back slightly when he laughed, slender fingers covering his mouth. He was wearing so many rings..so many bracelets, yet somehow, it didn't clash with his uniform.

You had never seen a guy seem so fashionable, sweet, and daring all in one package...yet here he was. What was there to do? Should you say something?

Yeah...yeah, you should say something...

You awkwardly shuffled your way over to his table, lunch tray in hand. He was in the middle of a conversation. Once you thought he had finished, you nodded slightly.

"Um...hi.." you smiled politely. "I just...I noticed that you and your friends are having a lot of fun...I don't mean to impose, but is it ok if I join you?"

"Yeah, of course you can...we don't mind a bit.." he smiled back. god, who knew he had a voice so deep?! why was everything about this guy so...perfect?!

You fought back a small blush and sat between a boy with dark blue hair, and the guy you were developing a crush on in question. It was so, so hard not to stare at him, his perfect teeth sparkling whenever he smiled at his friends, combined with the shine of his eyebrow piercing and stud in his nose? he was too bright, you were doomed!!

From time to time, you'd join in on the conversation, finally learning that your mysterious prince's name was Rantaro, before lunch eventually ended. Class came and went, and soon enough, it was time to head back to the dorms.

To your understanding, the library was open until 10. You checked your clock: 8. Perfect.

You quietly crept into the large room full of elaborate staircases and towering bookshelves, settling yourself down on an ever so comfortable leather loveseat, curled up with a book.

You stayed there peacefully for about an hour, before looking up upon hearing a small creak from the other cushion beside you. Sure enough, it was him.

"Amami..." You bit your lip, suppressing a giggle as you set your book back down.

"Hey.." He smiled up at you. "So...Anna Karenina, huh?" he pointed at your book. You had only just started it, but it had caught your attention so far. You simply nodded.

"You know, I haven't got the chance to read it yet?" He chuckled. "Well...I have. But Tolstoy's work is so long, I think I'd rather just read a summary..."

Your hands shook a bit at his closeness; at his eye contact. He was talking to you so sweetly, as though you two had been friends for a long time. It made you feel...overjoyed..yet...scared..

"...M-Maybe I'll write you a summary..someday..."

"If it's from you; I'd be happy to read it."

starbunii 2024 — all rights reserved. do not redistribute or translate to any other platforms

[play-rough]

so glad to see the age regression and de-aging tags split. I love both, but when i'm searching for fics they are very different vibes and it gets a bit old having to scroll past a bunch of fics im not interested in reading

ALSO the idea of chuuya having made the room for dazai before he left hurts so much. Like if they were to the point that chuuya felt like he'd be able to spoil his baby that much without him being too overwhelmed and THEN they get separated hurts my heart too much to think about.

We're just throwing around thoughts here, so do you think it's more likely for PM skk or 22 skk to get to that point? I personally think dazai needs the ADA to settle in to regressing no matter chuuya's efforts because the PM is no place for a baby and I don't think dazai would ever get comfortable while close to mori. I think it would make 22 skk's reunion so much more bitter sweet because chuuya DID do everything right and dazai DID do his best to let chuuya help him and they loved each other (however you want to view that love) but there was no way that arrangement could have gone on long term healthily in that environment. I would absolutely adore the idea of chuuya playing with the idea of building a room for dazai in his head before he left and then once they reunite him dropping everything to get it done because that's His Baby and now that he's in a safe place he deserves everything chuuya can give him <3

-❤️‍🩹

Purely just for organizing reasons, agere and deaging gotta be separated. While both lovely, they’re sisters not twins and shouldn’t be grouped together 🩷 I’m glad to see them separated as well

I definitely think 22 skk will reach the point of Dazai having a regression room in Chuuya’s house. They’ll get a few furniture pieces before Dazai leaves like a rocking chair, but I think post 22 reunion after they’ve kinda fallen back into a routine again is when the room happens.

Shortly after they discuss Chuuya being Dazai’s caregiver again, they also set up the weekly regression sessions. Chuuya picks Dazai up from work for maybe the third time since their reunion, and while sitting on Chuuya’s bed Dazai notices the rocking chair is gone and his desk is shoved awkwardly into the corner of the bedroom.

Chuuya then takes Dazai into the old office room and it’s been completely transformed, the boring white walls are a soft pastel blue, and there’s a big circular rug that looks like the ocean. The familiar rocking chair is in the corner, next to a shelf with picture books. There’s a set of drawers where Chuuya has moved all Dazai’s baby clothes, and there’s a starfish night light. In the corner is a crib with matching ocean sheets, and a mobile with different fish.

Dazai would definitely probably feel overwhelmed at first and like he doesn’t deserve any of this, but Chuuya just wants to show Dazai his feelings haven’t changed and he really means it when he says he loves him 🥺 Chuuya’s serious and committed and Dazai doesn’t have to move in but he always has a place here with Chuuya, and after a good cry session Chuuya puts Dazai down for a nap in his new crib and maybe sits on the floor and stays with the baby while he sleeps to make sure he’s okay and not too scared in the crib 🥺

[libbytwq]

wowie i did it! I drew sonic designs for if he were in each shatterverse!

Im very proud of them, they look so skrungly

Also this was a challenge for me, i just kinda made up their designs as i went along with no references and no premade color palettes

Heres the post where i first made the idea:

Anyway, closeups + character info below

(Keep in mind, these characters exist in a timeline where the prism was never shattered)

Renegade Blur, the Sonic of the New Yoke City Shatterverse

I took some design element inspo from Knucks, with the scars and the lil spine dent thingies

He is incredibly reckless and very loud and overconfident (his scars are from being reckless and stupid)

He is kinda similar to Chaos Sonic tbh

He stops at nothing to defeat his enemies, even when his body cant take another hit

He can be a lil bit overbearing, but when it counts, his heart is usually in the right place

He works with Rebel and Knucks, and sometimes they don't get along but they can trust Blur usually

Loves races and is a sore loser

He's also never met Nine, but if he were to meet Nine, he'd be able to get along with him, but would side with the Rebels and agree he can't always be trusted

Very violently aro/ace, he do his own thing and doesn't like the idea of being bogged down by another person he has to take care of

Quill, the Sonic of the Boscage Maze Shatterverse

Took some design inspo from Gnarly and Thorn, as well as the facepaint from Prim

He can be a lil nervous and underconfident, and doesnt know he can run fast (hes a lil bit klutzy - if he runs too fast he trips on something and falls over, so he doesnt run too fast typically)

He loves his friends! He hates getting abandoned

He typically hangs out with Prim, Gnarly, Hangry and Mangey above the forest, but he does hang out with Thorn occasionally below the treetops (the rest of the group has no idea)

Thorn scares him a lot. He is so afraid of her, but he sticks around cuz they do actually care about each other, but they refuse to admit it

Quill is usually the one that the group sends below the forest, cuz he is able to grab some food without immediately getting sent up by Thorn and Birdie

If Thorn ever catches him taking berries, Quill is usually able to explain himself, and Thorn usually lets him off the hook

Quill and Thorn like each other (shhhh dont tell anyone i said that, not even quill knows he likes her)

Mangey is one of his best buds! They get along so well and no one knows why

Has never heard of the idea of relationships, but he has these weird fuzzy feelings for Thorn that he cant identify, hm must be nothing

Sexuality? Whats that?

Aklesh, the Sonic of the No Place Shatterverse

This one was my fav to design. I took a lot of inspo from a lot of the No Place characters, and "Aklesh" is Sanskrit for "Swift Lord"

The shiny rings and accessories are the colors of his friends - Red for Dread, Yellow for Sails, Pink for Black Rose, and Purple for Batten

His bandana on his head is yellow to go along with how Sails's bandana is blue

He just loves vibing with his crew, he gets along well with everybody - Sails and Dread are his besties tho

He's perfectly fine with being lazy and not doing anything everyday, but when the time calls, he's more than happy to be a swashbuckling pirate

Surprisingly, he is not afraid of water

He loves his colorful shiny accessories and is a bit of a collector

The peacemaker of the group, he settles disputes and suggests that the answer isn't through violence - but if the answer is to use violence, like if another pirate ship raids them, he won't stop fighting until he is victorious

Kind of unofficially unspokenly the second in command to Dread

Raging pansexual. Kind of a slut, with how he keeps his shirt half open /j

Aklesh thinks Dread is very very neat (and they were crewmates wink wink). Dread has no clue

ok thats all i needed to say, hope ya like it

[mikuyuuss]

Waaaah~! Thank you for reblogging my ask game, Unni!

Since you're open to answering questions, can I ask 4, 18, and 20 for Akari?

AHHH thanks for the ask as always Erika!!

4. Why did you give them the name they have? Whats the in universe reason for their name?

Im gonna be honest IM BAD AT NAMING THINGS 😭😭 So I happen to choose Akari because it's a common girl's name and it sounds pretty (surely if it's a common name it won't have a weird meaning RIGHT???!!!) At first I was scared bc apparently the "aka" in akari can also mean red which like, Akari's obviously not a red girly 😂

But her name actually ended up having a beautiful meaning to it (Thank God) The "明" in her name stands for "light" or "brilliance" I believe. Coincidentally, I also have "明" in my name too. I believe it's associated with smartness (at least in chinese culture) So I believe Akari was given that name by her parents because she is the light in their life, and they want her to grow up as a brilliant person.

18. Imagine meeting your oc what would you imagine you'd say to them or do with them

It's gonna be SO messy and complicated if she knew that I created her. In all seriousness I don't think Akari would like me at all. Anyways that aside.. If things were a little simpler, I'd love to just hang out with her, play dress up and do cosplays and other fun stuffs. I could give her words of encouragement about the things that I wish I could tell myself too, but in reality I think I will just go :

She can do it because she's fast and I'm as slow as a turtle.

20. Share a random piece of trivia about the creation of your oc (scrapped idea or changes you didnt expect to make)

This is her old design:

Initially, her vibes was a lot darker and edgier, but somehow she got softer and pinker the more I drew her.

Tbh Akari looks way cooler here, but her design feels a little messy. There were many cool ideas but nothing came out of it. In the end she's just kinda there. I originally wasn't gonna ship her with Giyuu bc I was a giyuu x shinobu shipper back then and thought they would be canon XD (I just prefer them as bros now) It doesnt help that I was so busy with school and its the pandemic, so my creative juices were little to none. But one idea that has always stayed is Akari having a good relationship with the girls, especially Mitsuri. After that I forgot about her...

Then I took a year off university, so more time to draw. I was on my way to moving on from kny, until I saw the swordsmith teaser and was like "Okay this show helped me get through pandemic, why not post some art to pay tribute at least." one art became more and suddenly I realized I wanna revisited Akari again bc omg this oc has so much wasted potential I need to fix this 😱 Guess I wont be moving on from kny soon 🤡

I thought about different breathing styles, illusion, star breathing etc. I decided that Akari is a battle seamstress character so I thought of silk breathing bc you know silk but I was like: "ok shes a seamstress who does seamstress powers?? thats it?? she needs something more specific" Eventually I settled for Camellia flowers bc I think its perfect for her in every way.

[idontknowwhoiam465]

Not Alone. Not Anymore. Not Ever.

The reader met the Doctor three months ago, and already he's become so important to her. Her anxieties about being left alone start to show, and the Doctor makes sure she knows thats not going to happen. Not ever.

----------------------------------

I'd been traveling with the Doctor for almost three months now, and already the larger than life TARDIS had started to feel more like home than anywhere on Earth ever did. The Doctor and I had settled into a comfortable companionship early on, and I could see the joy in his eyes whenever he watched closely at my reactions to a new planet, or species, or some corner of the universe I never thought imaginable.

The Doctor had quickly become my favourite person to be around. His quirky excitable personality, and outfit to match, drew me in from the moment I saw him. Whenever we were sat in the control room of the tardis and he was tinkering away fixing something or other, he'd often tell me stories of places he'd been as I kept him company. Tell me tales of the adventures he'd had and the people he'd seen. Songs he's heard, and lives he's lived.

Sometimes he'd mention a name of a past companion and a flash of sorrow would show in his eyes, before brightening up again, so quick I almost wouldn't notice. It's in these moments that I realise how lonely he gets. How afraid he is to be alone again. These are the moments that scare me. I see myself in him. His eyes a reflection of my own.

I spent my whole life caring so much about the people around me. Loving them with everything I had in me. Only for them to get bored of me, or decide I was too much to deal with, and just walk away. And it hurt. It hurt like hell. Anytime someone new would come into my life, I'd wonder how long. How long until they get bored of me? How long until I drive them away? How long before they decided they dont want me anymore?

Sometimes, when I see that pain in the Doctors eyes, I want to tell him I know how he feels. I know what its like to be left on your own time and time again. But I can't. His eyes show the pain of someone who hasn't just been left behind, but rather, had the people he loved ripped away. My loneliness can't compare to that.

Sometimes my anxiety gets the better of me. I find myself wondering if he's going to leave me behind too. If I'm another burden, that im putting on his already heavy shoulders.

I also wonder if, just as I see the loneliness in his eyes, he sees it in mine.

Of course, he does. I just didn't realise that yet.

---------------------------------------

I was too busy constantly overthinking the idea of him leaving me, that I didn't even notice everything he was doing to make me trust that he wouldn't.

The comforting smiles and endless rescues when we went to a planet, and it didn't quite go as planned. The time he put a beanbag in the control room for me, because he knew I couldn't sit comfortably still on a chair. Keeping hold of my hand, never letting go, as we'd explore dark creepy tunnels. The little music box he secretly bought for me, after noticing me looking at it longingly at an alien marketplace. And the way he seemed to know when I was afraid, before I knew myself, and made sure he was by my side.

Despite all this, my anxieties about him leaving me behind only grew.

It was when we went to Victorian London, that I fell apart.

--

I peered out of the doors of the TARDIS around the Doctor's shoulder as he (quite overly dramatically) opened them. I gasped at the snow lining the streets as the faint glow of the streetlamps lit the dark road. The snow glittered as each flake reflected the light, creating a sparkling blanket, resting peacefuly on the ground.

I turned to the Doctor excitedly, 'Where - no, wait - When are we? When and where?'.

'Victorian London,' He licked his finger and held it up in the air as he stepped out of the blue box, '1873, 5:23 pm, December 24th, Wednesday. Good. Not a Thursday. Don't like Thursdays. Today is Christmas Eve, Christmas ball day. And we,' he winked at me as he pulled out his psychic paper, 'have got an invitation.'

I stared at him eyes wide. 'Christmas ball day. You're taking me to a christmas ball. In Victorian London.' I looked outside as I breathed out a silent wow.

I looked down at the clothes I was wearing, 'Oh my god, I need to go get a dress!'

As I turned to get to the wardrobe room of the TARDIS, the Doctor stopped me.

'I uh, actually, Y/N, may have already bought one for you. If you want it that is, I don't mean to force you to wear it if you dont want to. Thats not what I want to do at all actually, I just saw it and thought you might like it. Tell me if you -'

I cut him off with a grin.

'Show me the way to my new dress Doctor'

'Well, yes, okay then, follow me'

--------------------------------------

I opened my eyes to see the most beautiful dress I could have ever imagined. Hanging in front of me was a sea of green. Layers upon layers of fabric, all folded over eachother. Stunning embroidery and beads and lace all creating so many beatiful patterns that I could sit there all day and find new designs and still find more later.

The Doctor's voice came from behind me, 'I thought the colour would work well with your hair, seeing as you insist on dying it red.'

He thought that far into it. He thought about whether or not it would match my hair. I turned to him silently not knowing what to say. Before I even knew I was crying, the Doctor took a step towards me.

'Hey, what's wrong? Do you not like the dress? I'm sorry, I didnt mean to upset you.'

The Doctor wiped a tear off my cheek as I whispered through a shaky breath, 'The dress is beautiful Doctor. Really, I love it. That's not the problem at all.'

He held his hand on the side of my face and gently asked, 'Then talk to me, what's wrong?'

'It's nothing. Don't worry about it. It's stupid.' I said shaking my head slightly.

He took one of my hands in his and looked at me with his bluey-green eyes full of so much care, 'Oh Y/N, nothing that makes you sad or hurt could ever be stupid. Please talk to me.'

'Its just, well, you're important to me right,' I managed, tears coming quicker now, 'My best friend. And that scares me. I told you. It's stupid. But everyone, everyone I've ever cared about has decided at one point or another that they're bored of me. Or that they dont want to deal with me anymore. I always push everyone away. And you're doing all this nice stuff for me. The bean bag and the music box, and now this stunning dress. And it makes it worse. Because what if you decide you dont want me anymore. I can't get left behind again. I just, I just can't. And I couldn't tell you, because I see it in your eyes. You've been alone before, but your eyes tell a different story. You weren't just left behind. I can see the pain and the grief. They were taken from you. And my fear of being alone is small and silly compared to that.' I looked down at the floor, scared to look at him and see him looking at me as though I'm making a big deal out of nothing.

I felt his hand leave my cheek and tilt my chin up to look at him. His eyes searched mine for a moment, before he pulled me in for a hug and held me like our lives depended on it.

'My amazing Y/N. Just because we feel different pain, it doesnt mean your's is lesser. You hear me? You are allowed to feel just as sad as anyone else. Don't think you have to hide it from me. And listen I am not going anywhere without you, you are coming to the ends of the universe with me whether you like it or not. You are not alone. Not anymore. Not ever.'

I pulled back to look at him, my turn to search his eyes. 'You promise?' I whispered.

'Cross both my hearts and hope to die. Well, not really hope to die, the idea doesnt seem particularly appealing to me personally. Honestly that phrase should probably have some adjustments made. But yes, I promise. You're stuck with me I'm afraid.'

My lips curled up slightly at his rambling, and the sincerity I saw in his face.

His face turned into a grin, 'There we go Bright Eyes. There's that smile I love. Now, haven't you got a dress to try on?'

I looked behind me at the dress, and turned back to him with my own grin. 'Absolutely. And then, we have a ball to attend.'

======================================

Thankyou so much for reading, it's my first fic, so hopefully you liked it. Lmk what i can do to make future ones better of if theres anything you want me to do :)

[dsaf-confessions]

sorry. big long ramble about dsaf 3 steven because i feel like the idea is cool but he also just feels like a whole different character

Ok. Starting this off. Steven was dumbed down so much in dsaf 3 and I hate it. Put them side by side they are not the same character. 3 has no trace of anything that made Steven an intimidating boss. There can be characters who are protagonists and also just aren't that good of people without it being goofy like Dave is! I think in dayshift 1, Steven was the antagonist, and that's why his character is the way it is. And the issue is, dayshift 3 gives him such a good setup!

First off, the endless hallways thing (assuming its not just that one hallway, which doesn't fit with the rest of the layers at all, and also how would more souls fit on there well, if we're going off the lore created in the game (which also makes little sense imo)). It's so good. iirc, even in dayshift 1, Steven is still scared constantly. He's good at not showing it, but he still is scared. The endless hallways, everywhere to run but nowhere to go, are so good for him as a character.

Second off, I feel like it's really not considered, by the fandom or in game, how long he spent there? He was there from 1987 to 2023. The kid that was killed earlier the same day? Didn't remember his parents. Hardly remembered living. "Oh, but Dee and Dave have been there longer!" you cry! They have ties to reality. Dave has their body, Dee iirc freely moved between the two dimensions before settling in The Flipside. They have some way to keep themself tethered to reality. Steven did not. Thats why I headcanon phone guys don't forget things; "Steven" would no longer exist if they didn't. He would've faded away just like every other soul there. Also, "he's an adult", shouldn't mean anything! Why would a literal dimension bend how it works just because he's an adult.

His layer and his character in general feel so rushed. I kind of get the argument that he had so much time to feel guilty, but the issue is, until dsaf 3 you never see him feel guilt. He shows pity but that is not guilt. The way hes made out to be in dsaf 1, having run minimum 2 locations (though more would make sense, just so he did a little bit more and it actually be reasonable to group him in with the kennedys and dave, who are all vital to the story), makes him seem like the strict, cold boss he is intended to be.

In conclusion: Dayshift 3 Steven feels rushed, poorly written, and like a completely different character. His layer was the smallest, his character development non-existent (the whole time youre with him hes just "ohhhhh ohhhh im such a bad person ohhhh peter ohhh no" aside from his very few interactions with dave where you see a snippet of his old personality), and he could've been so much better. I would love to go on a rant about how he works better as an antagonist even while working with jack, but this is long enough already.

i dunno. maybe i'll go replay dsaf 1 and 3 soon and see if anything changes my mind, but i doubt it. ive stood firm on this for all 2 years i've been obsessed with this man and i doubt it'll shift very much.

.

[tonydaddingham]

does aziraphale actually at any point agree to come back to heaven? even after the metatron offers to restore crowley? because take all the time you need doesn't sound like he agreed yet. the flashback cuts immediately after the ascension offer without looking at his reply. he dodges directly answering tell me you said no. crowley takes it as a foregone conclusion based on his evasions and reacts accordingly the metatron acts as though he's agreed to cut off his escape routes but i'm not conviced he actually ever did...

(2/2)

hi anon!!!✨ lots of things to talk about here!!!

okay first thing's first, something definitely feels off about the cuts in the metatron-aziraphale chinwag, and the way it's intersected with aziraphale telling crowley, there's no two ways about it. i do think to some degree there is something we are not seeing.

that being said, i think it could potentially be quite... cheap? narratively to have a Big Reveal of *gasp* we didn't see the whole conversation! now if that does happen, im absolutely sure i'll be proven wrong in that assessment, and it'll be great. however, i personally don't like it that much, insofar that i think it can sometimes reflect a poor opinion on audience intelligence (ie. i prefer to find out there were clues hidden in plain sight to about 95% of the 'Answer', you only had to look hard enough to work out what was going on, then maybe a surprise twist for the remaining 5% - rather than something be purposefully and entirely kept from the audience).

so for example, i felt this way about the gabriel/beelzebub storyline. what had happened to gabriel was hidden in plain sight - the fly, the box, the memories, the matchbox etc - but the little twist obviously being him and beez falling in love. beautiful, splendid!

but for there to be a Big Reveal that metatron made an overt or even thinly veiled threat against aziraphale and/or crowley? that feels a bit too Big to reconcile, imo, with the rest of the scene. there are definitely indicators, the more that ive rewatched the Final Fifteen with this perspective in mind, that aziraphale is scared, or uncertain. the way he looks out the window, his facial reaction to what crowley says to him (shaking head, looking confused, etc)...

but i don't think he's been threatened. i think he maybe feels threatened or has Worked Something Out, but i dont think metatron actually intimated any kind of threat (tbh, i felt like that was the whole point of metatron's behaviour in the Final Fifteen). as for whether aziraphale had accepted the offer though - i completely agree that i don't think he had made up his mind completely until a very Specific moment.

i do believe that aziraphale wants to change heaven, and do the good thing of making a difference; i think that its simultaneously very in-keeping with his core traits (and his character development up to this point has naturally led to this decision), but also a step forward in some aspects too - put simply, bc it would be a whole other meta and tbh a point ive talked about quite extensively from my recollection, i definitely think both of the boys needed to separate.

but as to specifically why aziraphale was so willing to make that difference; well, i think he realises that metratron is potentially dangerous. he's smarter than metatron has given him credit for, and aziraphale realises that whilst he may not know his motives for doing so, or what specifically metatron could do, i think he has put together a number of Clues that indicate that he and crowley might not be as safe in the bookshop as they thought they were (and i had to actually parse this out in a separate post, anon, bc i got so excited!!! your ask completely inspired it, so thank you!)

so with this potentially in mind, he leaves the bookshop (and not until possibly clocking this dirty look thrown at crowley, just for good measure):

and settled down across the road with metatron. metatron offers him the job, CUT, metatron gives (?) aziraphale the power to restore crowley, CUT. then aziraphale, as you said anon, starts to come back across to the bookshop, and tell crowley what happened. as you said, metatron's line indicates aziraphale has basically said, "well, i'll need to run it by him indoors first", and metatron has acquiesced, it seems.

so yeah, just to hammer home your point, i definitely think that aziraphale has said something like, "i need to think about it", for metatron's first line to make sense and for it to flow. and his expression, keeping with the kindly old man, indicates to me that he hasn't gone nasty or threatened him at all, but instead is almost taking the "kill them with kindness" approach, which is all the more powerful because it makes the victim, so to speak, arrive at the conclusion they wanted but by their own conviction.

anyway, so aziraphale is all smiley, until he crosses to the bookshop, and it's apprehensive and stiff and uncomfortable. i think this for me is a telling sign, because if he were expected crowley to want to be an angel again, and to be with him, what would aziraphale have to be nervous about? personally i think it's to do with the aforementioned potential realisation that whatever he says to crowley in the shop, he needs to be careful in what he says and how he says it.

as soon as he steps in the shop, it's back to smiles. nothing's wrong at all. in fact, i have good news. aziraphale is looking out the window just as metatron has turned from muriel to look right back. then, when crowley starts rambling (my brave soldier), you need to stop talking, i need to tell you this and i need to tell you this now before anything happens or you end up saying something and land us in deep shit, because i think he can hear everything we're saying (just chopped together a bunch of shit to demonstrate this):

and then aziraphale starts to lay out what the metatron has offered to him, even pulling himself up on potentially offending him by indicating that aziraphale and crowley both might have had a shitty word to say about him after the metatron's less than helpful rhetoric in s1:

im not going to go ahead and gif the rest, but the following notes through aziraphale's account of the conversation and the offer made to crowley:

aziraphale barely blinks after the above point in his monologue, and is definitely agitated and restless compared to when it cuts to the flashback of him and metatron at justine's restaurant

an obvious thing that everyone has remarked but; aziraphale first asserts that he doesn't want to go back to heaven, to which metatron plays the crowley restoration card

as soon as metatron says, "(paraphrased) looked back over your previous exploits with the demon crowley", and aziraphale goes from frozen, deer in headlights, to visibly uncomfortable and panicked - swallows, eyes start darting away (previous pretty firm eye contact with metatron), pursed lips... all indicating to me a mixture of 'oh he's definitely been watching us/has had the power to', and 'oh shit it's worse than i thought'

we don't see aziraphale's face after metatron finishes his offer of restoring crowley - did aziraphale continue to look scared? did he look relieved that a threat hasn't been made? does he even look relieved that metatron doesn't appear to be splitting them up, but instead is offering an option where they can still be together and protect each other? we don't know.

i do think aziraphale was taken in by the promotion; i do think he wants to do exactly as ive said in previous metas. i think he does want to make a difference, do the right thing. not the clever thing, or logical thing, but the right thing. the minisodes literally led to this point, directed us to this being the pinnacle of his character development so far.

i think he genuinely thought that the restoration offer would solve everything re: his and crowley's safety, and their future together - he acts truly shocked that crowley would turn it down. i don't think crowley has ever really told him about the fall, or why crowley is so vehemently repulsed by heaven and therefore by the offer by extension. aziraphale sees it as an overture made towards crowley, a way to set right an egregious wrong done to crowley, and - like the photograph in ep4 - a way that aziraphale, once again, can actually be the one out of the two of them to protect them both.

this to me is why the metatron's whole offer, start to finish, is so clever, and so dumb, and why it would be so gratuitous to even bother with an overt threat. it's clever because it plays into aziraphale's core beliefs and the tenets of his character - especially those that crowley taught him. it's dumb because there's so much that metatron got wrong, like the coffee, and only set off (imo) the alarm bells for aziraphale that things are Not What They Seem. but ultimately aziraphale arrives at the conclusion - especially post-Feral Domestic - that he has to go to heaven. metatron didn't need to threaten him; the decisions that you reach yourself rather than be coerced or ordered into are always the decisions that stick.

i think aziraphale knew he was going to go to heaven as soon as metatron offered it. i think he knew, however this was going to go, it would not be an option he couldn't take. the bit he didn't foresee, that he thought would be guaranteed, is that crowley would want to help him and be with him, not force him to go against his core self (the bit that wants to do good and do the right thing), and not put his faith and trust in aziraphale even if he could never again put it in heaven. im not saying aziraphale is right for thinking or assuming that - far from it - but that must be somewhat along the lines of how he thought this would go.

so essentially, anon, if you've stuck with me this far (bless you if you have, you're so brave), i do largely agree! and it's parsing out this ask that has made me seriously consider if i think that aziraphale knows he's in some sort of peril. i think he does - but i don't think the metatron knows that aziraphale knows. that's pretty powerful knowledge. the opening had been made, a declaration of intent has been made apparent, and now aziraphale needs to respond. i think aziraphale is going to need to play a very tough board here, consider where he moves his pieces, and start planning the middlegame as soon as he can - something, if you ask me, he's already doing:

[sweetblossoms]

saw your post abt rapunzel manipulating tim in their convo and god hard agree it Is concerning that so many ppl didn't see it. also crazy to me that ppl are mad at tim and defending rapunzel, saying that they would have taken the book too because tim was being rude etc. to me it seemed that both tim the character and ally the player Wanted to believe that rapunzel wasn't part of the plan and was good but just kind of strange, and both are successfully fooled. tim absolutely fumbles the interaction and ally could have played things better, but rapunzel was so clearly in charge of the conversation, leading him into saying worse and worse things and putting his foot in his mouth while tim was genuinely trying to be nice. tim is awkward and blunt and eccentric with Everyone, it's weird that ppl are saying he was being singularly rude to her or patronizing her or that he deserved to get the book taken. that interaction was clumsy as hell and so many words could have been chosen better but tim so clearly was trying so hard to fix his initial fuck up and be friendly w her in the same weird way he talks to everyone. I don't see how ppl came out of that scene on her side even if tim was a little rude and unfortunate w his word choice, and it's concerning to see ppl being like "ha take that stupid old man!!" abt the book being taken + in defense of a character we met an episode and a half ago and who we have been told outright is an expert at deceiving people. the princesses are so so interesting as characters and the morals going on are complex and that's a whole different conversation, but I feel like no matter whether you love rapunzel or not, ppl should be able to recognize that she was manipulating tim in that moment and taking advantage of his trusting disposition. not trying to start discourse in your ask box ofc!!! I've just seen No One Else express discomfort w rapunzel in that scene

anon this ask has been living in my head rent free since you sent it, i've been stewing over how to respond because y e s. for context, check out this post to save discourse on main (this is about to be a long one of fan critic analysis, get your popcorn and settle in if you wanna read, this is the longest post i've ever made), im gonna put my thoughts and response under a read more, sososo many spoilers under the cut read at your own risk

These were all in the replies and tags and I want to reply to all of them bc they're all worthy of being talked about bc i feel like the majority of the fandom is almost scared to critique?? So like let's talk about it since nobody else seems to be taking this approach from what I can tell (thank you to you anon for being on my side as well as the rest of you who are screaming with me) I will begin by saying that my original post is not critiquing ally the player, or any of the other players. i understand that they were in that dome, filming a session of dungeons and dragons, and improv acting and roleplaying for many hours on end with back to back episodes. i kind of get ally and the rest of the table maybe just wanting to "hope for the best", especially ally as they are quite a "hope for the good in others" type of person. it's frustrating from a viewer perspective sure, but i totally dont blame anyone ever for making a "wrong" or "non-optimal" choice while playing a ttrpg, they just have the misfortune of being filmed while doing so. i myself have made tons of bag fumbles while playing dnd, even when i thought everything through ten times over. so anything i have said or will say forward isn't to put any shouldering on to the people playing these silly storybook characters, like, i Get It

What i do want to critique is the fan response, which is the more worrying one!!! like i said in my original post, i was surprised by my d20 watch buddy having a similar response to ally. the total "oh, maybe she's just quirky bc of the self isolation, maybe she's autism rep" approach. my friend, love her to death, is also one of those "sees the best in others and hope everyone is always aiming to be their best selves" type of person, very similar to ally. i came online after that episode expecting everybody on the fanbase level to be screaming with me in a "i told you so!!" way

instead. i came online and saw people just on the attack and the defense in absolutely skewed ways!! out of NOWHERE, all these fans have come on to post about how "tim was patronizing her, and thats why she stole the book" "wow i would have hated being called girly and honey as well" "wow these conversations really didnt go their way why was tim so mean to her :(" or the opposite of "rapunzel is the evilest person to ever exist bc xyz these princesses are evil villains" or "we need to protect these princesses bc they just didnt know any better uwu"

i feel like, on a fan level, me and you anon (+all these lovely folks in the notes of that post) were the only ones screaming "hold on, that is literally not the same media i just watched"

i've seen before a lot of people be like "wow, media literacy is at an all time low" and i never really understood that until i saw the reactions after that episode. as a fan or viewer watching any media, we have the privilege of seeing more about the media than the people who are creating it. that's the best joy of being a viewer, we get to sit back and spot those foreshadowing moments and bite our nails in suspense when the music goes creepy and see the artwork and overall, we have the privilege of catching vibes that maybe those acting in it do not. this leads to those bonding moments of "i told you so" "wow im biting my nails and pacing" "oh they're gonna REGRET that". and, an "oh my god no no no do not hug her she wants to take your book god now she's feeling you up with her hair she's looking for the book ROLL INITIATIVE!!!!". it leads to glorious moments of ~dramatic irony~, a literary term for literally when something is happening in a story and the readers can catch it, but the protagonist probably didnt bc they're not seeing the full picture. While watching, from my perspective, yeah it was frustrating to watch the player bag fumble turn after turn, but it's a game of dnd, they film so many back to back, they don't get the same experience as us. however.

brennan did a great job at dropping the foreshadowing, to the point of not even so much subtly foreshadowing, he DIRECTLY TOLD THEM rapunzel was a liar and uses her words as knives. like someone pointed out, the players even PAID for that information, with the golden bridle. by the time they met these princesses, they probably knew the most about rapunzel's true nature over all the other princesses, that she uses her charisma to her advantage. the players made their choice to do the diplomatic route, to split up and chat. ally did the right thing for picking rapunzel with tim's 19 charisma stat, it would have been charisma against charisma, and an even playing field for someone they have been explicitly told is a master of words and deceit.

as fans, we've seen these episodes edited and put back to back. clues are lined up in a row. was it frustrating to see ally playing tim in a naïve way? sure. but tim's been pretty naïve this whole time, so you could stack it up to a character choice. what's more frustrating is seeing the responses of viewers being blindsided by the book thieving and chalking it all up to "evil vs good" and rapunzel's choice shaking them to their cores.

by this point in the story, by the time you get to that episode, rapunzel already gave enough bad vibes with the talk of her charismatic deceits and with her hair everywhere spying on them. maybe that last one wasn't explicitly stated, but it was heavily implied to the point of gerard writing the plans on a note instead of wanting them said out loud by elody, a scene that happened way before tim's. by the time we see rapunzel get to the kitchen, she is INSTANTLY catty. someone described her on the post as "eldritch regina george" and. yes. exactly. eldritch regina george. from our privileged spot as a viewer, rapunzel comes in, puts on the fake smile, puts on her fake tone, and says "what are you doing in here? :)". she was already ready to fight timothy. that first sentence was hostile. she was OFFENDED and checking on tim to make sure mother goose wasn't counter-spying. i honestly didnt think that would have to have been explicitly stated, she was in attack mode and plastered the fake smile for a show so that she had the upperhand in the conversation that was about to happen. this is something that fans should have at least caught on to right off the bat, we've been explicitly told that she is fake more than she is honest for the sake of being a "performative person"

the conversation happens, and she starts becoming more verbally hostile. "i dont know, what SHOULD we do hehe. it's ruined now :)" "no use in crying over spilt milk *pours milk with hair on the floor with a smile* oh no :)" "...or if it was on purpose :/ :)" "why dont you go get a mop :)" "i chose to be charming :)"

every sentence she replied with was carefully chosen. as viewers, we can watch brennan's face in full clarity of intimidation. we can have the knowledge that has been provided to not trust rapunzel as she is a charismatic spy who has words for knives. in my opinion, even without those clues before now, her show that she put on in the kitchen should have been enough as is to show that she is acting maliciously and with hostility. the smile is there as to not incite physical violence on tim's part bc then it would make TIM look like the bad guy if he attacked first. by the time she goes in for the hug. im sorry. but ally the player should have caught that, the whole table should have caught that, and-more importantly-the fans should have caught that. we all watched the same thing. we have all been told the same information. to purposefully ignore all of the red flags just to pull a "well tim was kind of mean and patronizing, and rapunzel doesnt have social skills from being locked in a tower, i forgive her, wow i didnt see that coming" is absolutely *batshit*

the lack of people catching on is what concerns me. i've met TONS of people growing up (sorry here, im all for women's wrongs, but mainly cis-girls tbh) who act like rapunzel does. from middle school and high school bullies/mean girls. mean girls at college. from parents or teachers or bosses. from normal adults in my life. they always have the same tone and inflections in the same places. the same faces with the wrinkled nose. the same sickly sweet smile. brennan played rapunzel, a known manipulator, perfectly. to a T. he embodied it fully. people JUST LIKE RAPUNZEL walk amongst us every day. i can guarantee you that even these fans that didnt catch it have met people like rapunzel in their own lives.

rapunzel is a character yes, but she is a character that mimics a masterclass manipulator. she IS the mean girl, the regina george. it leaked out of her every word, tone, and inflection. every single thing told about her and shown was, in no world, some "uwu the sweet bean was locked in a tower and doesnt have social skills". that was her origin, her start point. just like sleeping beauty locked in a castle, snow locked in her coffin. rapunzel directly says "i chose to be charming. :)." she had her origin of no social skills, her sad origin of being locked in isolation in her tower, and said "this is my greatest flaw, so i am going to dedicate my life to improving this skill bc it's what stopping me from achieving my goals." she trained her social skills to be good. too good. so good that she hopes nobody will catch her sweet charming self in the act of malicious intentions. this. was. directly. stated.

it worries me on a psychological level of the fans. yes it shows a lack of media literacy, something is frustrating on a fan-to-fan level. it shows a lack of ability of critical thinking. it shows a lack of ability to participate in dramatic irony, a necessary literary device to instill tension into a horror campaign. but also, and to what is probably my main point in this novel long hot take: it has real world implications. mean girls like rapunzel are a guarantee in life. i'm sorry, but it's true. maybe the person acts differently, maybe they aren't as obvious or more obvious. but these people walk amongst us. they use the same tone and same cadence to their words. these manipulators see what they want, and devise a way to convince the person into giving them what they want. rapunzel did not use the Charm Person spell, or the Friendship spell. She used. her words. like a normal human being. and by doing so, we as the fans were able to catch on and should have had a moment of "RUN GOOSE, RUN AWAY, NO DONT LET HER HUG YOU". but instead, a lot of people turn a blind eye to these manipulators in their lives. they pull a "aw but they have a tragic backstory, they're just confused and need love :/" "they cant be THAT bad..." they see a sweet little smile on the face and an upticked tone of voice, and go "well, they're playing nice, so now i have to play nice bc otherwise im the bad guy here" which!!! you do not!!

this is exactly how manipulators worm their ways in, this is what ALLOWS manipulation to work in its various forms. it's how people get trapped in abusive relationships. it's how people get scammed. on a personal end, i lived a narcissistic manipulator for a long time growing up, and it was exhausting. once you could put down the rose colored glasses and see right through the act, you notice how every inch of their mannerisms are performative. everything they say and do comes with the caveat of them wanting something from you and are trying to butter you up in the meantime. if you catch and call onto it, they IMMEDIATELY turn on you, they sneer and retreat to their next target who it will fool. the cycle continues, the next target is selected.

on a fan level, if we as fans cannot play into dramatic irony as a practice, if we cannot exit our seats of mind to catch on to those "eldritch regina george" quirks at the bud in a piece of fictional media where the puzzle has been handed on a silver platter, then there is a l o t more work to be done on 1) general media literacy 2) ANY fandom perception on media and 3) general awareness of how to spot and deal with manipulators in real life. if you can't catch on to it in a silly fictional ttrpg media, how do you expect to catch on to it in real life? how many of these same fans are trapped in manipulative relationships around them? how many more will they fall for bc of the "oh no but they have tragic backstory so it's forgiven uwu"? as fans, you cant sit there in the same breath saying that tim was condescending to rapunzel and then follow it up with not noticing what was ACTUALLY happening in real time. if you wanna say that rapunzel was ALLOWED to be a manipulator because of her origin, what other manipulators are you defending in your real life? how many of these manipulators continue their tricks BECAUSE they know naïve people exist and will fall for it? how many have been enabled in the same cycle bc it worked on one so it'll work on the next?

i wish i had a fun way to conclude this absolutely massive chunk of fandom critique gibberish, but i just dont. i wish i could find a more comprehensive way to scream about this, so take this post as me SCREAMING about this, anon my dm's are open if we wanna rant some more

[candiid-caniine]

Okay so, this might just be an issue because my dildo is on the big side of average (for a dildo, not a human.) and I've never actually sucked a real cock, but i uh... Have this issue where there is. Too much saliva. Like. I mostly practice in the shower, and i actually apparently really like the feel of doing it (especially while cockwarming...) but like... There's literally so much saliva that it's like. All over me just a few minutes. And yeah, it's hot, and I'm definitely into it, but I'm like. Scared of actually having a partner??? Because I've tried swallowing, and maybe it's because the dildo is so big and i have a small mouth, but it Does Not Work, and it's annoying to have to pull off every minute or so because i have so much saliva in my mouth it's about to make me gag in the Bad Way. And I'm not really sure if there's any way to fix it, or if it gets easier over time. Or if it's just Different when it's like, a real person's dick and not. Silicone.

oh the saliva thing (as i understand it) is usually how sucking a penis goes!!

my usual tactic is to just let it flow out of my mouth. it's very hot for me and my partner, and swallowing it just...isn't really an option for me, either; it all kind of tends to pool towards the front, and getting it to the back of my mouth *along with* the dick is just not happening lol.

there *is* a bit of a difference between silicone and flesh-and-blood penises: for one, irl dicks are more flexible, and not as rigid in your mouth, which may make it easier to route saliva out of your mouth in either direction without having to pull off; two, they're skin, so they do absorb/cling to some of that saliva that would only be pushed around weirdly by a silicone one; and three, they don't dry out my mouth as much as silicone does, so i produce less saliva (though not by super much.)

don't be scared of having a partner for this reason. take it slow, be confident that most people with penises find it hot, and if they don't - tell them to try sucking a dick and see how they handle it lmao.

a lot of erotica shows the person sucking the dick "swallowing around the dick" and making them insta-cum, but idk if it's bc of my focus issues or my tiny mouth, i've just never been able to do it...and my partner likes it just fine anyways :) i'm not an advanced throat king by any means. i can't get the tip more than an inch or so down my throat for more than a few seconds without almost puking (yet - still practicing) and again, my partner loves it anyway - in general, imo, sex should be a joyful thing, a shared experience. so if your partner isn't willing to learn and experiment and accept that nobody's perfect automatically, that it takes practice, than imo you shouldn't settle for that.

the pulling off every few minutes - also in line with my experience. like i said in my "love letter to giving head" post, ime, it's actually way more taxing and difficult to suck a bio-dick until it cums than porn and erotica make it seem. atm, it takes like 30 minutes of sucking/pulling off/they jack their dick a bit/going back down my throat to get my partner off orally, and they're not super sensitive, but they're also not under-sensitive compared to other penised partners i've had. for most people who aren't seasoned deepthroaters, it's unreasonable to expect to be able to kick back, spread your legs, and let your partner suck you off with no effort.

in short: don't kick yourself, this is all *so* normal, and if your partner doesn't participate when you give them oral, they're either inexperienced or selfish probably :)

[redrandomposts]

just finished "This Damned Thirst For Survival" so here i am with headcanons and aus

guys do you remember my manipulative kdj and yandere yjh posts? this danmei had truly fulfilled my dream

i feel like a wanderer in the desert, carrying spare rations for anyone i might come across

time travel au where jiang luo and chi you go back in time together and proceeds to fuck up the entire timeline because chi you can not keep it in his pants. or away from jiang luo. like... in the bathroom in that first arc, instead of threatening to kill jiang luo they do a lil quickie. they still do the enemy kill-each other shit but chi you doesn't dare kill jiang luo eighteen times. not when he can fuck him through the night- misunderstandings? only between outsiders and couple ig

soulmate/greatest enemy au except chi you and jiang luo have the same name on their wrists; each other chi you's mark doesn't show up until jiang luo goes to that world, and jiang luo's original world doesn't have it. people are 200% more convinced they are in love and thus the numerous misunderstandings have changed in direction. qi ye had a one-sided bond with jiang luo until he got rid of his spirit body, losing both marks in one go teng bi's mark has changed over the years and his soulmate died and reincarnated, eventually settling on lu youyi

headcanons in canon, they got rid of the tattoo before they could conceive a child. because thats what the curse did, right? -i dont think theyre fit for children anyway, and they might be immortal lovers, so im actually going to say: chi you likes the idea of "branding" jiang luo with his child. jiang luo... does not dislike the idea of showing off how deeply he is chi you's partner. breeding kink, but they don't actively want to conceive. -chi you wants to give jiang luo a permanent mark, just like how jiang luo carved his name in his heart. thus, chi luo tattoos his name where jiang luo's heart is. -eventually jiang luo and chi you become the insufferable couple no one can escape from. they are a package deal; they work together, live together, go on outings and vacations together. -jiang luo sometimes go to bars with his friends or for a mission. chi you possesses a person there (ignoring lack of tattoo) and flirts with him. it soon becomes a game where jiang luo has to guess which one chi you is - and jiang luo is always right. -jiang luo is jealous and chi you is possessive; nothing new. nearly everything jiang luo wears is from chi you himself, with lovely marks decorating his body from their nightly activities. if someone gets too close to chi you, jiang luo will either ruin their life or scare them away.

[abimee]

For what it's worth, I've been following you for a few years and I do think your skills as an artist have grown. You've seem to get more confident in the way you build the human body and face, your coloring has gotten more complex, and in general I feel like I've watched you settle more and more into a defined and unique art style.

I know it can be frustrating to not see the growth or changes you want but it does break my heart to see you be so harsh on yourself. I think you're genuinely extremely skilled and I always looked up to you as an artist, even when I was going through art school myself. I feel like you have a way of capturing people that's just so emotional and lovely and I want to see more of it in my own art, though I've been struggling to capture the same vibes too...

It's also never too late to pick up or try out something new, to find new skills or return to old ones. I loved the fics you posted, your prose is wonderful, and the way you speak about your characters is so thoughtful. It does hurt to feel like you've lost out on the time to do something, but please don't give up completely. I think you have a lot of genuine skill and talent and it'd be lovely to see you take it in any direction. Regardless of where the future takes you, I hope you have a nice day.

THANK YOU.... THAT MEANS A LOT TO ME TO HEAR.....

ive been like, trying to mull it over in my head because sometimes what i think is one way might sometimes morph into another and idk i dont think its its a dislike for my own art but like a sort of external critic ive decided to consume thats trying to sway me one way. i hate to be like ''the support i got on my art when i was younger was sort of really bad for me'' but maybe the years of being pushed To be an artist by adults and people around me saying they like my art only when its X or Y thing has like made me prey to feeling like im drawing not for myself. like i failed the expectations put on me and i dont have the chance to ''re-do''

maybe i just need to like reconsider what i like drawing or try smthn new that isnt like. hinged on this idea in my head that i need to keep peoples attention or what support i have because like. thats another fear is always like ''what if all these people who say they like my art one day just stop and im left alone'' but thats a different plate of cookies for a different glass of milk. i think i just need to figure out what I personally want out of my art and stop hinging everything on years-old circumstances

but then at the same time i dont really have any idea what i would want to do differently, i really like what i draw now but idk maybe theres something else for me in some way. i think im worried of just alienating people so used to one thing from me that changing that will just feel wrong. not really in like art style or anything but just like What i draw. i feel like ive always kept to the same concepts and ideas and imagrey that changing it will be strange or worse. but maybe i do just have to make that chance and not be so scared 😞

[thueenz]

have any of u guys seen that cheeseball cat on tiktok/insta?? idk i dont use instagram. this one

i saw them months ago but they popped up again last night on my fyp and i want to talk about them so bad because theyre an occupied object as i like to call them (object with some kind of spirit in them, not to say haunted, just an object with some kind of 'being' or soul to it) and i find it endearing that a cheeseball cat i randomly saw one day is occupied. now we go under readmore

im pulling most of the screenshots from this video because its the one i saw last night so go watch if youre curious and to show the creator some love for their art!

if you have no idea who cheddar is they were not always a cheeseball, the creator bought them and painted them like this originally they looked like THIS

the being in them was present from the time of buying, they stick out like a sore thumb in this image specifically (likely because this is the day of buying and they havent settled into their surroundings at all)

luckily they dont seem to mind the fact that they were painted like a giant cheeseball at all. i cant say every being would take well to that, but if anything, they seem to like it. even if op and the fans on tiktok arent aware theyre 'there', they seem to enjoy the attention they get, and the individual love they have been given in the paint job. to be loved is to be changed or whateva. in all seriousness though they are fine with it, more than fine, which im glad lmao

theres plenty of beings in objects that are discontent with their situation, where the person theyre with either is not aware of them at all, or is misguided in their views towards beings in objects/uncaring/ even scared, but cheddar here seems perfectly happy. while others might shy away from attention, they seem to like the attention tiktok gets them.

i mean, they have their own little pedestal, special gift like baby cats that are custom painted, theyre special and named to the person theyre with, and people on tiktok love them. not a bad life if thats something you like! im really happy they feel so content, i get sad seeing beings that are unhappy on the internet but i cant rlly do anything about those cases so 😭

they really seem to like the person theyre with too, in this frame of them being picked up, their energy softens and brightens and makes my chest feel giddy and affectionate. theyre very cute i adore this cat i would give them a hug if theyd have me

i think they likely have a purpose or magical skill, but i cant pinpoint it further than 'they want to bring good into this persons life', which could cover a raaange of things.

theyre not malicious at all, they seem very content and friendly and i wouldnt feel uncomfortable around them at all in person so no worry of that. a bit intense before settling into their new life, but not bad. sometimes beings are just a bit intense lol. theyre not haunted by any human spirit, i can't say where they came from, or when, but i don't think they were ever 'alive' either animal or human.

i ♥️ cheddar and their sweet little cheese throne