#'im actually a psychopath not a sociopath ^.^ theres a difference'

[petorahs]

personal opinion i dont think akechi's a tsundere i feel like he's just inexperienced in receiving genuine deep intimate affection from someone he values. his first response was to turn away and run you'd be kinda hard pressed to see him flustered in any capacity actually. bro would literally rather die than be seen vulnerable 😭

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

"ive just seen a lot of ppl #call izaya a sociopath but like. as a Comical Exaggeration #or just as an insult to be disproven" re: ur tags

i don't really go here (drrr!!), but i came across ur blog through a series of events that led me to an ASPD Izaya analysis post that u are connected to. somehow. i dont fucking know man. but like anyways i 100% agree, like have u seen him. Look At Him. i only watched like the first season and havent touched anything else but i can say with 100% certainty That Guy Has ASPD. okay this ask isnt about me telling you i agree with you and others who have that correct opinion, but just wanted to say it.

anyways GODDDD, your tags... i feel that so hard. theres a character im a big ASPD truther for (and its like so obvious. lzaya level obvious), who ALSO gets called "sOcioPatH" and "psYchOPatH" as an insult or joke. and every time im like... "well... no, but actually yes"

no because i can tell you're calling him that to demonize him and seeing as that you are unironically using "sociopath", you obviously dont actually know much about ASPD. but yes because he has ASPD!

AH THE ANALYSIS POST! i can explain: i'm connected to it because the person who wrote it is my fiance, and i'm the mentioned Person With ASPD that he mentions he knows :P

also since im curious: what character?

and i on god HATE it when people use the term "sociopath" unironically its like. im using it because i have aspd, and oftentimes i use it as a derogatory term to draw attention to how derogatory it is. like. i know why i'm using it. why are You using it!

and oftentimes its because they deadass think "sociopathy" is still an actual Thing You Can Be Medically Recognized As and like. bestie. it IS clear u know literally nothing! its like theyre SO CLOSE to getting that the character has aspd but dont actually know HOW aspd works outside of a bullshit stereotype so its only said as a joke and not treated seriously foe actual analysis

im gonna make a comparison here BUT BEFORE ANYONE BUSTS MY BALLS: I AM AUTISTIC. I CAN MAKE THIS COMPARISON. AND EVEN IF I WASN'T, IT'S NOT A THOUGHTCRIME TO IDENTIFY OBVIOUS PATTERNS.

it's like i looked at a very obviously autistic character and kept calling them retarded as a joke. and even though i knew that derogatory term used to refer to an actual thing people have, i refuse to acknowledge the existence of ACTUAL autistic people's ACTUAL experience with autism and how it differs from the VERY derogatory and insulting stereotype of "a retard" and just. kept calling that character retarded because i thought that people with those traits deserved it or something

and then i tagged the post "#tw autism" as like an extra kick in the nuts

but GOD i feel that last paragraph SO hard. its clear ppl notice those traits in him but dont know enough (and dont care to go learn) about the actual disorder. so peoples' real suffering and social ostracization is just a punchline. because "mental health acceptance" ALWAYS has this fucking asterisk of "not you, though" when it comes to (among other things) aspd

its a cruel world out there for aspd blorbo truthers 😔 not only do we have to deal with bullshit ass takes, our backs constantly hurt from the weight of carrying the Correct Opinions 😔😔

[tornad001]

i think the difference is again that its a descriptive claim not a prescriptive one. its like saying all cops are bastards. you can simply not be a cop and then u can cease to be a bastard (in that way). likewise, stop supporting pro-pedophilia politics and wanting to kill marginalized ppl (and a bunch of other stuff) and ur no longer manifesting evil into this world. im well aware of Arendt's work, but i don't think there's any contradiction to acknowledging that there's ppl who wanna enact evil, but that evil is banal. thats why basically all modern evil is systemic. cuz ppl don't actually like interpersonally harming one another, they find it hard to do and it has to be constantly trained and reinforced in people to actually get them to do it. the evil of systemic forces is so incredibly banal. much of it is simply bureaucratic proceduralism. and the less bureaucratic elements end up getting reinforced and normalized to the point that they disappear from view. and none of that banality or lack of active intent makes the outcomes and therefore the workings of the system less evil.

now ill add a bit of clarity i might've missed before. republican voters are not "demons in human flesh", they're much more banally evil. the actual demons in human flesh are the people that head and direct these systems. its the republican politicians that know they're lying but the moneys good and really whats a lie if the main thrust is true, right? its the oil billionaires that know the world is burning and just don't care, because money for them is literally all that matters. it's the ones who aren't simply supporting the republican party, but are running it. the ones who are actively aware of the agenda cuz they have to be to know which dogwhistles to employ where, the ones who construct the narrative. i want anyone and everyone to feel innate disgust towards these ppl. but those people are literally a different class of ppl. they're the bourgeoisie. the proletariat can be evil, sure, but only the bourgeoisie have the ability to be evil on a scale and with such detachment that it rises to the level of being a demon in human flesh.

but i also think these ppl are products of their environments. i don't think psychopaths or sociopaths really exist sans grooming/abuse, or at the very least not receiving the kind of care they needed. it takes the alienation of capital and the distance of power and the upbringing of entitlement and so many other potential forces that draw these ppl further and further from humanity - to make them into social and economic psychopaths. in this way, we've failed each and every billionaire by allowing them to grow so inhuman, by not giving them the care they needed (not being allowed to hoard wealth). its tragic that it is the way it is but some ppl are un-rehabilitatable, and i think the particular trappings of the misfortune of fortune we allowed them to accrue, against theirs AND our best interests, has made many of them unable to be saved.

but aside from discussions of what is most true and most just, this is war. its class warfare and its been going on forever. im not going to be so naive as the think that my war is just enough and understandable enough that nobody dehumanizes the enemy forces. cuz theres never been a war where that happens. do u think the bourgeois understanding of the proletarian is that they are fully human? of course not, otherwise none of the extraction or coercion is ok. but we're not PEOPLE, we're WORKERS which aren't... quite human.

dehumanization is a weapon for making violence acceptable. and sometimes violence needs to be acceptable. cuz taking all of jeff bezos' money and leaving him with like an average income is undoubtedly economic violence, albeit justified economic violence. and at the end of the day, its war, and i want to win. because i represent all people whereas they represent their own very small class of people. and id much rather dehumanize and commit economic violence against a couple hundred to thousand ppl than let it happen in reverse to literally everyone else. and through all of this very harsh rhetoric, i can acknowledge that evil isn't real, the bourgeoisie are as much victims of circumstance as anyone else, that the correct solution is just economic violence against a very small group of people who's power to command evil is unrivaled, and their terminal punishment should be to live out the rest of their days with the agony of being just like everyone else.

and to be clear, my rhetoric changes depending on the war. if we're talking about fascism, demons in human skin are the pundits and politicians and leaders of the republican party, but if we broaden our lens to the totalizing war of capitalism, suddenly a lot of the democrats also become demons in human flesh, as well as all the other world leaders, biden becomes demon numero uno, Lucifer with all the primacy of hell itself. unfortunately for these demons my prognosis is more dire. they need to swing at the Hague for their crimes. like don't get me wrong im a pacifist and against the death penalty, but as long as thats the system we live under, i would simply like that international law to be applied evenly and justly. do we think it was just for Eichmann to swing, but not Kissinger? Göring but not Netanyahu? or Biden?

there are many capitulations i make on the journey from pure principled ideology to practical politics (not that i do practical politics but u get the point). many of these are a loss of nuance and an understanding that most people don't even have a somewhat coherent ideology. one such capitulation is the allowance of violence. i think it can always theoretically be avoided, but in practice, nothing great or terrible has ever been accomplished but with its toll of blood. so our job is to ensure that the violence which is committed is as just as it can possibly be, only so far as it needs to go and not a step further. because the only thing that can justify violence is justice itself. likewise, i don't believe in evil, or in demons, and im not a fan of dehumanization either. but i make accommodations. even if u don't agree with where i draw my lines, i hope u can at least understand why i do so.

i try not to essentialize my dehumanization cuz ultimately its against a class, not an identity, and i think that's about the best u can get with our current levels of political literacy and, hell, literacy broadly. the average American reads at an 8th grade level, and that doesn't allow for the kind of erudite pure thought it takes to get truly grounded and maximally just ideology. cuz ideology is hard and developing it is hard and most ppl just wanna be spoon-fed a narrative. not a good thing, or an inevitable thing, just a currently the case thing

Some people’s political opinions can really just be boiled down to “can anybody tell me who the good guys and the bad guys are”

[jewpacabruhs]

bruv im still jus. wow. theres so much to say but. do u kno how good it feels... to be jewish, to accidentally fixate on one eric cartman & love him more than any other fictional character for almost seven years now, and then to see him in a little yarmulke, standing at kyle's side while he recites from the torah? do you know how validating that is?

i gotta get personal for a second here. idk how, but in the last few yrs my relationship with my own jewishness has been deeply influenced and intertwined with south park, as ironic and ridiculous as that sounds. i grew up secular, completely nonpracticing; as a child, i was only ethnically jewish, and saw jews as strictly an ethnicity, and a popularly hated one to boot. and it scared me. ive talked about it before, but as a child hearing about the shoah and about antisemitism, i couldn't understand. i thought it was looks for a while, which confused me, because ive got blonde hair and blue eyes and all my family that got caught up in nazi europe did/do too. i remember thinking as a second grader that i would've been spared for that reason; why didn't a good chunk of my family? but i grew up in a mormon neighborhood, with plenty of other blonde kids, and they stayed away from me like i had a disease. this was before puberty, before my hair got a little frizzier and my nose got a little bigger, when i looked just like any of them. but already, at age 8, i was an outsider. i wasn't one of them and i never would be, and they wanted me to know that.

and then i started to get it. it clicked even more once i got to high school and got called a kike every other day - but prior to high school, you know what i found, and you know what really pushed me towards understanding what being a secular jew in america meant? south park. and as a dumb little sixth grader with no critical thinking skills, you know what shaped my opinions on my own people? south park.

and that's good and bad. good because i do sincerely think kyle broflovski is excellent fictional representation for jewish people, maybe one of the top few ever shown on television. he gets on my nerves at times, but he's good through and through, he's well written and multi-dimensional, he's not a walking stereotype but he still has prominent jewish features that jewish viewers can look at and see in themselves, his morals and viewpoints and beliefs are obviously deeply influenced by judaism, hes deeply proud of his heritage and culture... and that all means a lot to me. and by the amount of jewish sp fans that adore kyle, it means a lot to them too.

the bad thing is, yeah, i can't deny it, during older seasons, cartman's treatment of kyle probably taught a lot of young and dumb viewers how to view jews in real life. have i, as a kyman shipper and cartman stan, justified that within a fictional and narrative context? yes. but it doesn't change the real-world effect; south park, but specifically cartman, since he's the mouthpiece, likely did cause some easily-influenced people to pick up antisemitic beliefs. did this contribute to the rise of the alt-right? debatable, but to some extent, possibly. was that m&t's intention and should south park be canceled and denounced? fuck no, i'll always love it lol, and fuck censorship. but it is something that should be taken into account.

matt and trey clearly regret that, and understand that it's no longer acceptable or fitting or needed in today's sociopolitical climate - or, okay, maybe they don't even regret it; they just understand that when fiction becomes reality, the fictional jackass isn't necessary when there's one right there in real life, sitting in the oval office, yeah? old cartman doesn't deserve or need a voice, not when real, awful people actually have one right now. and m&t are actively trying to change cartman for the better and really, really backpedal on his bigotry, while still doing it in a way that makes sense from a story-telling perspective. it's not a complete uncharacteristic change of character; it's shifting with the times and writing it into the character's arc so that it's a logical and plausible development in cartman's story.

cartman's behavior in the last few seasons is consistent character development. m&t themselves are pushing it, and clearly it's sincere; cartman's not faking. unless they're building up a surprise twist over the last, what, three to four seasons, that he was faking the whole time! woah! if so it better be a damn good pay off, because that's a lot of time invested. though that seems more forward-thinking than sp tends to be. they're intentionally stuck in the short-term, aren't they? plot-wise. but their character development is pretty long-term, and right now, cartman is consistently decent, and if it comes across as faking, it's because cartman's over-dramatic in how he speaks, and trey does that intentionally.

that's a tonal thing, and it's hard to say in a fictional character, but as someone who struggles with empathy myself, empathy and sincerity don't go hand in hand. you can lack empathy while still caring enough to sincerely and wholeheartedly apologize for something and mean that apology. not feeling remorse doesn't mean you can't apologize genuinely; the two don't go hand in hand. you can be mentally ill in any capacity, even a psychopath, and still deeply care about things or people, just not in the way someone else might. so you can headcanon that cartman's still a psycho/sociopath, though right now that's actually kinda going against canon, but don't rain on other's parades if they're happy he's exhibiting healthy growth. besides, and i repeat: what could cartman exploit out of faking sincerity for several seasons? nothing, so why bother? he wouldn't, unless it's literal in-show subconscious growth.

does that mean he's magically developed empathy? no. is it becoming less probable he's a legitimate sociopath/psychopath (while still possibly having better-disguised antisocial tendencies)? yes. does he seem to have better coping or anger management skills? somehow, yes! he seems to be legitimately healthier. does this mean he's no longer accountable for his past misdeeds, and even his present, less-severe ones? of course not! and you can still hate him all you want, but modern cartman is not the same as older cartman, and shouldn't be treated as such. because is this growth? absolutely.

he's clearly healthier, even happier. he's less angry, he's still a little shit but he no longer relies on bigotry or cruelty or anger to get the negative attention he thrives off, rather he gravitates towards being simply annoying. you know why he called ice? pettiness, immaturity, a little bit of spite, and a need for silly revenge. he's being intentionally petty, but going about it in a sly but no longer psychopathic way. less hannibal lector and more, idk, regina george, lol. extremely different on the antagonist scale. and cartman's been both.

and maybe it's personal bias on what type of human is worse within fiction, someone unstable and bizarre with violent tendencies (which is how he's come to be viewed in pop culture & some of the fandom, as a result of eps like scott tenorman must die), versus someone inclined towards pettiness and more silent and, i dunno, social-status-and-pride-driven types of revenge (cartman in general when he's not being particularly awful, tbh)... but i think it'd be pretty universally agreed that the latter is at the very least more tolerable, manageable, and even likeable - and certainly more redeemable. let's put it this way; if cartman continued on the path he was on, he'd be one of those tiki holding fucks, wearing a confederate flag hat, and he'd treat kyle soooo much worse. instead, m&t have turned him into a hypocritical false-woke ignorant dumbass - but that's strongly less problematique than it's counterpart, and it works.

because cartman simply serves a different narrative purpose now. and that's not sloppy writing; it's well-timed evolution of a character that stepped into a pre-9/11, pre-trump, pre-social media world! so much has changed, and south park is reflecting that in its characters, most notably in a character who was stuck in the, what, 1960s with his beliefs? that was fine way back when, but matt&trey are smart dudes - they understand that sometimes things have to change. besides, they love cartman, too. he's their favorite. but they understand that when real people act like him, it's not so comedic or satirical or funny, & they don't want to look at cartman, at their creation who they've invested twenty-two years in, and see the all-too-real hate of modern radical white america.

i think we know enough about matt&trey's social stances these days, and the empathy they've seemed to develop after having kids, to understand that they're no longer in their "apathy is best, everyone is stupid" phase. current south park is left-leaning and admittedly preachy at times, but i wouldn't want it any other way. g-d knows it's better this way than if they'd embraced and decided to appeal to their right-libertarian following instead. cartman's evolved in a progressive and positive way, and it's fucking dope, especially to us cartman stans who so badly want him to be good. and he is good right! he's doing so good!

and i know im up my own ass rn but yall know how much i myself have campaigned for jewish kyman/cartman and how much i just deeply and truly adore it, and to see it actualized in a canon episode to some extent? that meant the world to me. i couldn't believe my eyes. i was tellin lai - that's the most genuine, pure, almost violent happiness ive felt in my soul in years. that was like a straight shot of serotonin to the heart. that simple little scene made me so fucken happy yall dont even know. & theres a lot to be said about the political commentary and plenty of other people are analyzing that, but im a simple jewish kyman & cartman stan and boy ive been fed good fjskfkdkdkfk!!!

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Sometimes my brother stays in the house all night. And annoys my kid.

But after tonight i see why.

He had to register his hands as militant weapons. He said militant. lol.

He was in karate all through elementary minus some years and some high school.

He knocked me out with two fingers once then started crying cause he thought I was dead. My mom didn't care. She told him good job.

My little brother paralyzed my arm once by jabbing it. That shit hurt. It was temporary but my arm was sore for days.

So obviously neither are afraid. They have skills,i always believed out powered my own.

I woke my brother up to open a jar but he couldn't either so soon after he went to his home. He said for some,reason no one was outside.

He knows Jesse i know he does cause we used to work the same gas station. Jesse and Stewie are the same but I call him stewie after the Family Guy baby cause he always tries to kill his mom.

He went to ministry school for college and has all kinds of degrees in philosophy and church and all that.

Anyways stewie got a job with my brother at nights and my brother got him fired.

I got him banned but our boss was a bitch thinking about her pussy.

Anyways. So he gets those feels when,there is dumb asses thinking they got a brain.

Me and my kid do too but its different. We don't live by them.

Usually she comes out for a little while with me but she said tonihht she had a feeling she djdnt want,to.

But I know at home,she gets them. Because one of us will sleep,at different times and one of us is always awake.

Thats whn i knpw some type monster you wish only lived under beds has been outside,

I dont say anything. But I think we both know.

.....

I went out again, this time with the light off and smoked. 4th cigar later and my sinus feel great!!

....

I could hear joints pop. Starchy grass being stepped on. And a chain.

I could feel a vehicle's presence. One with people in it.

.....

I heard the truck start drive slowly up,the north mesa. I could hear for so long i knew they were stopped.

...

Random dogs had barked. First in the yard then one 3 acres away. Then in the yard again.

I listened to how many birds chirped and how.

....

I knew someone was there when i moved my foot there was another sound... When you concentrate on doing something and you focus on it... I didn't hear the sound until i had already focused to move..its a random thing but always valid. If i move my foot someone else is moving theirs.

Its a constant.

......

I said shhh to the dogs. I whispered a loud hey that echoed to the weakling that couldn't stand still on the other side of the fence.

No one appropriately responded.

.....

I heard the there's a mother fucker there bark.

....

So i went in and as soon as I did that coward ass took off running to his waiting truck.

.....

I unfortunately can feel people's emotions. So i felt him being terrified. I also felt his chest heaving after running when i went in.

I feel his backward heart hurt the last two nights.

.....

#fbi he wants to kill me but he doesn't know how. Hes wanted to for 20 years after he believed jesse James killed my kids. That's why other people call him Jesse. Ive admitted to be fuddled about certsin things and barely have a glimpse of things. He had me,take an abundance of pills once to over dose. Right after the babies were murdered by their grandpa.

And hes tried to kill me and Annie multiple times.

The only person he has a right to kill is himself or anyone that is trying to kill him -- except when he decided to kill them first. Like me. Because I will kill him.

But if someone like wanted to mug him and had a gun then its okay to defend yourself as best as you can. The goal being to get them away from you and disarmed if possible. But not always death is the answer dependin on who it is.

.....

And since he collaborates with Denise, she focuses him on killing me. So he has a right to kill her to shut her up. Becsuse this is an extreme 20 plus year issue. Its not an issue for every one. Its not always the answer.

But in this case it is.

......

Stewart often has someone drop him off where i am,then he walks where I can see him. Then he has them pick him up.

Lately I've honked at him and given him the bird. Just so he knows i see him and i still hate him and i will kill him.

Denise was driving today so i couldn't but i yelled my hate at him,anyways.

.....

Weird was when i got,to the gas station there was a black girl in the back seat of a red SUV with huge eyes like she was a victim of human trafficking. But I always see cops there. And all the Windows were down. IDK why people look like that. Last,time they were worrief about my tire. Windows were down some,dude was outside smoking. She could had screamed. She seemed to be the only one there,

Just a random thing.

------

I was really worried about him going through the,gate. Because they wantef me to sit where I was safe and could see through the fence. But i was super close to the gate and i could hear him within the outer fence. Theres like 4 fences and shit... So he was within the half yard where I was but outside of,the porch fence.

So trespassing. New Mexico law is i can fight back with an equal or lesser weapon. Since he uses needles... And I'm handicapped. I can use a broom, chair, table. Pretty much anything i want but a gun. I could use a knife cause they're close to needles. He uses insulin so a big butcher knife.. Since I'm diabetic ... Insulin won't bother me much but he does use extremely high doses which would cause me to pass out. So then i would be able to equalize that with a stun gun which i have, pepper spray which i have. And blood loss from a butcher knife will cause him to pass out.

Now here I'm not suppose to equalize his crime and kidnap him.

But since I know he wants to kill me, has kidnapped me, etc....

They asked me what i would say if he ends up missing.

I don't care. That was my answer. I don't fucking care. Ive been complaining about him for years.

He tried to kill me and my daughter Annie. Hes constantly harassing us. He follows us. There's records.

If i go through the trouble of disposing him. Dude. They already fucking know where he is. They fucking watch me. They can push rewind on the dam satellite,

So seriously. I go through the trouble of disposing him myself or with my family don't fucking say shit but thank you snd pay me a reward.

Call me,crazy but im fucking telling you. So PREVENT IT.

Or don't bother arresting me or asking where is currently 50 extra pound ass is.

Lets not play dumb, here. Get someone smarter than you if you don't understand, #FBI

Self defense. Hes a threat and has been. Hrs fucking crazier than me,

We all know i can go sociopath, psychopath, serial killer. I can do them all all day any day.

Yes he is crazier than me because he can't go sane.

And despite me sounding crazy. I am actually sane.

......

So. He is terrified of me. He asked me about a year ago to let him help me load my groceries on the black tread at the store. He was shaking like a leaf. I was PISSED because he came up behind me and squeezed next to me,to,get in front of me.

They're all he doesn't have his black bag!!!!! He wears a fanny pack to carry his insulin.

THATS WHAT I DONT GET.

hes scared yet he wants to kill me????

What the Hell. Stay away from me.

Then he will sit where he knows i should be able to see him and he eats candy and smiles all big showing his teeth like he just ate out some ones ass..

Telling me hes gonna have to have his needles out soon.

........

But they tell me he doesnt have his bag.

.....

He will and has tucked them under his dick on his nut sack. And pulled it out in front of me and my child.

.......

I will fucking kill him before he can get his stupid hands in his pants,

I do not fucking care.

Hes lucky i don't have a gun. Because h3 would already be dead.

That's why i don't have a gun.

I almost got one a few years ago.....

But i don't want to go to jail. So if he is close enough for me,to,touch on private property not belonging to him.

Hes a dead man.

........

Anyways so i was concerned for him to go thru the gate because I wasn't feeling the kill rage. So i felt like i wasn't ready so i was weary.

And i kept on although everything else was telling me,he wasn't but to my right,

So my left ear started buzzing like crazy and i was all fucking shut up i can't hear..

But duh. I didn't need to listen at the gate.

So god was there talking to me. Telling me he was there and ready to help me as i need.

To help me as i need.

Once i got the understanding then the buzzing quit.

And I knew to focus my ears to my right.

....

I wasn't alone and,had a lot of support and understanding from a legend. She was really awesome in being curious and understanding. It was pretty awesome. She has a clear and strong voice. I bet she will be a guardian angel one day and i know she will be awesome at it. I was starting to wonder if she was dead because she was so good.

She's not but yeah i was like whoa. I could trust her. Its unusual.

Just because she was awesome doesn't mean she's near death, its just an Earth skill.

I trust the dead most because they can go anywhere even under water.

And i felt i could trust her just as much as a spirit sent from Heaven.

.....

I can hear stewart again.

......