#'if anything had to happen to one of us why did it have to be you?' what if i buried myself alive

[andvys]

The edges of your soul (I haven’t seen yet) ⭐︎ chapter three

⭐︎ You're the greatest thing we've lost

Warnings: angst, hurt/no comofort (I guess?), mentions of death, grief, grumpy/mean!Steve

Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader

Summary: Steve allows you to see a glimpse of who he really is, and not only do you get that, you also find out some sad truths.

Word count: 12.1k

Author's note: One of the chapters I was excited for the most was this one, you'll know why when you read it hehe. @hellfire--cult worked on this one with me, and she added a lot (don't listen to her when she will say she didn't, cause she did !) give her some love (or all of it cause she deserves it ♡)

⭐︎ series masterlist ⭐︎ previous chapter

☀︎

Steam fogs the mirror in the bathroom, drops of water fall from your hair and down your shoulders, the smell of vanilla and lavender lingers in the room, you are rubbing moisturizer into your skin, enjoying the luxury of it all, a luxury you won’t have much longer the moment you are back on the road again. It’s impossible to find functioning showers nowadays, let alone hot running water. Something that used to be so normal, is something special now and you enjoy every second here in Hawkins, every hot shower, every good night’s sleep, every warm meal, the feeling of safety. 

You put a pair of sweatpants on and a sweater to keep you warm, a pair of wool socks that Nancy knitted herself. You brush your wet hair and clip it back. 

When you step out into the hallway, silence greets you. Eddie is in his room, he was complaining about a headache after you finished patrolling together after he worked on the RV all morning, you both got caught in the rain and after taking a shower to warm up, he excused himself to lie down. The door to Nancy’s bedroom is closed as well, she must be reading, she always closes the door when she does. The rainy weather allows you all to take everything a bit slower, to rest a little more than usual. 

The wind howls outside, thunder striking somewhere far, red bolts of lightning curse through the sky, an image you still haven’t gotten used to. 

You make your way down the stairs, it isn’t dark out yet but the grey clouds make it seem like it’s evening already, the golden light from the fireplace in the living room is very inviting in contrast to the darkness outside. You step inside and notice Steve moving around in the kitchen, taking out bowls from the cardboard. A towel is slung over his shoulder, his features are relaxed, no sign of a frown appearing on his face… yet.

You watch him for a moment, not moving away or towards him. You don’t want to disturb him or his peace. He seems to be content by himself and you know that facial expression will change the moment he notices you. 

Things have been tense between you after your one and only time patrolling together. He didn’t ask you to join him in anything and you didn’t make the mistake of trailing after him again. You also didn’t make much more conversation with him and he seemed happy about it for he didn’t try either. The only interactions you both have are ‘good morning’ and ‘good night’, maybe a ‘can you pass me the salt’ or an ‘excuse me’ here and there but that’s all. 

It’s been eleven days since your arrival here, and you both are still where you started. It saddens you. You tried to get to know him, and you still want to but he makes it hard to.

Maybe if things had been different, you would have gotten the chance to get to know the Steve you have seen in the pictures Nancy had shown you. The guy he once was seemed sweet and welcoming, the one before you is the opposite of it. 

You know something must’ve happened to him. Maybe it’s got to do with the scars on his skin, maybe he lost someone you don’t know about, maybe it’s because of Robin but whatever it was that took away the light in his eyes has turned him into this – mistrusting and mean. 

A silent sigh falls from your lips, you force your eyes away from his form and turn away, ready to make your way back up the stairs but his voice makes you halt in your tracks. 

“Hey…”

A lump grows in your throat, a nervous feeling settles in your chest, you swallow and take a deep breath before you turn around, facing him again. 

He is looking right at you, an awkward attempt at a smile pulling at his lips. 

“Hi… I uh, Nancy and Eddie are in their rooms and I didn’t want to disrupt their peace but uh I also don’t want to disrupt yours so–”

“It’s fine,” he interrupts you, not even letting you finish your sentence. “Would you like to help me?” 

You blink. 

Did you hear him correctly? 

He presses his palms against the counter, raising his eyebrows at you, like he waits for you to say yes. 

Steve notices your uncertainty, the knit between your brows, the pursed lips, the confused look in your eyes. You are pulling at your sleeves, looking a little lost, looking a little intimidated. You are not like this with Nancy and Eddie, you are comfortable with them – but not with him, and he can’t blame you for that.

“I could use a hand.”

You nod slowly, licking your lips, “yeah, I uh, sure!” 

You can’t help but feel a giddiness inside of you. He never asked you to join him before, he never asked for your help. 

“What do you need me to do?” You ask as you make your way over to him, standing across from him now, on the other side of the kitchen island. 

“Butter for now.”

“Butter?” You tilt your head. 

He hates it when you do that, every time you ask a question, every time you are confused about something, you tilt your head to the side. 

“We received a ton of milk, but we have to make our own butters and cream,” he explains as he gestures to the cans of milk on the table. 

“Oh…”

“Wanna give me a hand? It’s a lot of stirring.”

You nod, following him to the small, round kitchen table. 

“Here,” he murmurs, gesturing to the wooden jar, “this is a butter churn.”

“This is what they look like?” 

Steve nods, “yeah, what’d you think they looked like?” 

You shrug, picking up the stick, “I dunno, this thing looks like something straight out of the 1500s.”

Steve snorts, “maybe it is, we found it in Miss Keller’s house, she’s basically from the 1500s with the dresses she always wore.”

You fake a gasp, bringing your hand up to your mouth, “you stole Miss Keller’s butter churn? Bad Steve.” 

He rolls his eyes at you and turns away, but you see the way his lips curl upwards, even if only a little. – A small victory on your part. 

“So… how do I use this thing?”

He pours some milk into the jar and takes the stick from your hands, putting inside the jar before he covers the sides with a towel so the milk doesn’t splatter over you both.

“Here, you just… do these motions,” he explains, twisting the stick from side to side as he raises it up and down slowly, “you churn it slowly, you don’t want the milk to get all over you, it may take some time until you see some progress, you just gotta be patient.” 

You hum, moving a little closer to him, invading his space, you smell his shampoo, his body wash, a hint of oranges and apricot, the sweet and soft scents surprise you, most men opt for masculine scents, strong and overpowering ones. You prefer this. You like this, you like this a little more than you should. You watch the way his hands move as he shows you the motions, you focus on his voice when he gives you the instructions and then you take over when he hands you the stick before he steps away from you rather quickly. 

Unbeknownst to you, he too liked the scent that lingers on your skin a little too much. The sweetness of it, the softness of your hand when it touched his own, the closeness and the heat of your body – he doesn’t like you, how could he? His body reacts to your scent, feminine and soft. It’s been a long time since he felt the touch of a woman, and you are the first to graze his skin, that’s all. He wouldn’t think anything of it, he wouldn’t react to it had there been other women around. 

To his surprise you stay quiet, focused on the task before you, you don’t speak or ask any questions for a while, it’s almost odd to him, you are talkative, never missing the opportunity to open your mouth and ramble about something completely random and unimportant. Then again, things have been tense between you both. He knows it’s his fault, he also knows that it’s for the better, yet he can’t help but dislike this silence right now, he doesn’t know why. 

He tries to focus on his own task, pouring milk into a pot to make cream. 

The crackle of the fire, and the sound from the butter churn fill the silence between you both. A few minutes pass before you finally speak up. 

“What are we using the butter for?” You ask, feeling the soreness in your wrist already.

“For the meat. I use it to make it tender. The meats are not as good now that the cows are not properly cared for. They’re just cows from the wild and the few from the barn here.” 

“Oh, so they don’t get all the needed supplements and stuff?” 

“Exactly,” Steve nods, reaching for a spatula, he starts stirring the milk, “I mean, we do our best but you know…”

You look over at him, surprised to find him looking back at you already, you didn’t realize his eyes were on you. You nod your head slowly, not moving your eyes away from his, you don’t break the contact just yet, looking into his hazel eyes that are always blazing with anger or annoyance, right now it’s neither of those emotions, it’s something else, something you can’t read, something you can’t make out, something you haven’t seen in his eyes yet, a look yet to be unlocked. 

He blinks, shaking his head, he furrows his eyebrows and looks down at your hand, “how does it look?” 

You breathe out and force your eyes away from his as well, you stop your movements and lift the towel off the jar, “uh, I think it’s solid now.” 

“Great, now pour it into the bowl,” he gestures to the bowl with the cheesecloth inside. 

You fall quiet again and follow his instructions, his voice fills the space between you as he gives you a step by step on what to do but when you’re as good as done, the silence between you is almost deafening, almost awkward, especially to him, the need to fill it is so strong. 

He swore to himself that he wouldn’t talk to you if not necessary, that he wouldn’t ask questions. He doesn’t want to know anything about you, he doesn’t need that in his life, but this moment right now is killing him. He is done cooking the cream, and he is now working on making dinner, cutting vegetables. He tries to distract himself with that but to no avail. 

He glances at you. It’s dark out now, the only source of light coming from the fireplace and all the candles set up because he likes to save up on electricity by keeping the lights off. The golden light touches your skin so softly, your hair shining from it, the smell of your body wash lingers in the room. You look relaxed, you look content despite being here with him. The sweater you are wearing is too big and it slipped down your shoulder from all the movements, exposing the scar that has formed on your shoulder. It was fresh when you came here, and he never found out how you got it. 

He clears his throat, swallowing the lump that grew from nervousness, he speaks your name, which it’s almost foreign on his tongue. 

You look up at him, “yeah..?”

“What uh,” he pauses, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly before he points to your shoulder, “what happened?”

You need a moment to follow what he is pointing at. You are surprised, almost taken aback to hear a question coming from him, a question directed at you. Slowly, you look down, only now noticing that your sweater slipped. You put down the paddle that you used to form the butter and pull your sweater back up. 

“Uh… I fell onto broken glass when a sick person snuck up on me.” You explain, scrunching your nose, “I was distracted, I never am usually but I was hungry and looking for food and I found something I’ve been looking for, for months!” 

“Oh,” Steve mumbles and looks down. “What was it?” 

“...Kit Kat’s.” 

Steve raises his eyebrows at you, lip curling up a bit, “you almost got yourself killed because of Kit Kat’s?” 

You shrug at him, “they’ve always been my favorite! And I haven’t had any since the day the world went to shit!” 

He chuckles a bit but he doesn’t comment on it further, just looking back down, giving you the opportunity to look at him closer, at the scar around his neck, you never asked how he got it, you didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. 

He looks up to find you staring at his neck. He knows you are curious, you have been from the start, he always caught you staring at it. 

“I was dragged by a demo– a bat.”

He sees the way your eyes widen, how surprised you are by his explanation, “huh?”

He points to his neck, “it choked me, leaving a mark, while two others bit my flesh off.” 

Steve used to cringe every moment he spent thinking of that night, of when they dragged him across the floor, leaving marks on his skin. He used to have nightmares of it, until those nightmares were replaced by new pictures, worse ones. 

You nod slowly, looking him up and down, there are no other visible marks for you to see, except for the one on his neck. 

“Where?”

He sighs, not wanting to look into your eyes, not wanting to see the sadness flashing in them. He looks back down at the carrot he was cutting, picking the knife back up again, he continues. 

“My abdomen, my sides… but Eddie had it worse.” 

You quickly realize what he is doing, steering the topic away from him again, thinking he doesn’t deserve sympathy for what he went through. 

You have seen the scars on Eddie’s skin, the deep and gnarly marks, he briefly told you what had happened but you never pushed the subject, you never tried to find out more. 

“You mean the scar on his lip…?” 

Steve nods, “his chest, abdomen, arms, legs… They’re all scarred. They bit off chunks of flesh.” He says, his voice sad, almost haunted. 

Your shoulders drop, the look on your face too, sadness flushes through you and you look down at the table, at nothing in particular.

You can’t imagine how it happened, the pain he was in, the fear that took home in all of them when Eddie was bleeding out and fighting for his life. 

Steve turns around when he registers your silence. He sees the worried, sad look on your face, how your lips curl downwards and your shoulders are dropped. 

“But we’re okay now, he is healthy as you can see… and annoying.”

At that, you smile a little, lifting your head back up to look at him, “yeah, but he’s adorable.” 

Steve draws back a little, raising an eyebrow at you, “you crushing on Munson or something?” 

Your eyes widen and you flush all over, shaking your head quickly that your hair falls out of your clip. 

“What, no! Ew! He reminds me of my brother! People that are just like my brother ain’t my type!” You scoff, shuddering a little. You pick up the paddle again and continue forming the butter into the shape you want to have it. 

Steve can’t help but smile, amused by the look on your face. He gets a little curious though. 

“... And what is your type?”

You hum, taking a moment to answer his question. 

He doesn’t look away from you just yet, he watches you. 

“Mmm… As long as he makes me smile when I need it the most… that’s all I need.” 

Steve nods at your words, humming. 

You look up at him, surprised to see him still watching you. 

“What about you? What’s your type, cowboy?” 

He flushes a little, cheeks warming under your eyes. He hasn’t talked about women in years, and hasn't thought about this either. 

He shakes his head, lifting his shoulders up and down, “I uh… I honestly have no idea.” 

He is not the guy he used to be, the one who was flirting freely and taking out one girl after the other – even that guy didn’t know his type. He was searching for something in every girl, and he never found it. 

“Oh come on!” You scoff, looking at him in disbelief, “what type of women did you go out with?”

He shrugs, “I don’t know, they were always… stereotypical girls that always talked about the latest trends and stuff.”

You snort, rolling your eyes as you look down. 

“Ah right… Prom King. I can guess which type of women you’re into–”

He quickly shakes his head at you, “no… no… I went out with them to have fun, it was just physical. Those girls weren’t my type.” 

You frown at his words and sigh. 

For some reason your reaction makes him think that you’re done with this conversation, but then you look back up and turn towards him completely. 

“Okay… then, when you’re with a woman, what is attractive to you?” 

“... Real answer?” 

“Sure…” You murmur. 

A smirk tugs at his lip when he notices how flustered you are getting when his eyes move up and down. 

You notice how he stops at your chest in particular and you can’t help but groan and shake your head in disappointment. 

“Booo…”

“No!” Steve raises his hands up in surrender, chuckling. 

“I was gonna say eyes.”

You roll your eyes, snorting, “right… I didn’t mean physically, Steve. I meant what is attractive to you when you’re on a date with them? What do they do that is attractive to you?”

Your words wipe the small smile off his face again, and he stands there in silence, getting lost in his thoughts, getting lost in the past, reliving every date, every moment that should have excited him but didn’t. He realizes that there was not a single date that is worth remembering, not a single girl who made him smile genuinely. Sure, he had fun the moment he was in pleasure but that’s all, the girls were attractive physically but emotionally? They all sucked, none of them cared about him, all they wanted was a piece of King Steve. 

And even when he thought he found something genuine, someone to love him, someone to care for him, it turned out to be a show, it was just as genuine as the interest all those girls had in him. It was all a lie. 

There is no love in him for her anymore, no feelings, no desires, nothing. But those words still hurt and sometimes they still haunt him because he believes it. Those words echo in his head, just like all the other hateful things others have thrown at him. But one in particular remains,

‘Bullshit’

“I… I don’t know…” He whispers, letting his facade fall for only a moment. “I guess someone who doesn’t see me as a failure.” 

You are taken aback by his words, a weird feeling settling in your chest at the confession. 

When Steve realizes what he said, when he notices the look in your face, when he notices his mistake, he immediately draws back. 

“W-What… Failure, why?” 

He shakes his head, turning his back to you again, “doesn’t matter, um… the butter should be done, wanna give me a hand cutting the potatoes?” 

You hesitate, staring at the back of his head. You want to know more, you want to know why he said that, you want to know why he feels like this, who made him feel like this. 

A sigh falls from your lips, loud enough for him to hear. 

“Sure…”

You leave it alone, not wanting to risk getting on his bad side again, you bite your tongue and do as he asked. You clean up the kitchen table before you walk over to him, getting your own cutting board, and you start peeling the potatoes. 

You work in silence for a while, just like before, but this one isn’t as uncomfortable, even though his words still echo in your head and you wonder about his past. You don’t want him to close up on you again, not when he just started to open up, so you don’t press the subject further. 

It’s too silent though and you can barely handle it. You let go of the peeler before you started peeling the potatoes, taking Steve aback, his eyes already glaring at you as you turned and walked away.

“Really? You don’t want to peel potatoes?”

“It’s too quiet!” You leave the kitchen, leaving Steve stunned as he looks back at the door. It was quiet but he didn’t think you were going to have a breakdown because of it. He doesn’t know you and that is being a little obvious by now. Maybe you don’t do good with silence and he just doesn't know that side of you. If he knew, maybe he could have talked about something else, or try.

But not two seconds later, he starts hearing the radio turning and then static. He doesn’t remember when was the last time they turned on that radio. He can hear you changing the channels of it, the static growing and lowering, and he wonders if you're crazy. There is no music being played. Who would operate a radio station in the middle of the apocalypse–

His eyes widen when he starts hearing ‘Hound dog’ by Elvis Presley. It is static, yet it is still there. There is music. Somewhere in Indiana, someone is operating a radio station. Someone is trying to keep people in a good mood despite it all. He never knew. Nancy never knew. Eddie never tried. The three of them thought that the only music they could have was Eddie’s guitar.

He hears you humming to it, walking back into the kitchen and placing the small radio on the far corner so you two can have the music to yourselves. He is still staring at the radio, completely stunned, his eyes wide. You turn to look at him when you grab the peeler, noticing the look of surprise.

“Why do you look so stunned?”

“I– I didn’t know they played music…” Your eyes went to look at it and you smiled, nodding at him.

“Yeah, I had one back at camp too… Did you know radio signals can travel from 50 to 60 miles away? Some AM stations up to 100 miles!” He is still surprised there is music, yet you are talking away facts to him about radio signals. But that actually caught his attention. There are others, not an hour away from him. It has to be the WSQK watts station. It has to be.

“There’s… a radio station near… like thirty or forty minutes away from here…” You turn to him, surprised as well now.

“Really? Well… there’s people operating there… Probably also sending out news and messages to people.” Your attention turns back to the potatoes, starting to peel away, leaving the peeled skin scraps in a mountain on the counter. 

“That’s… good to know.” It actually is good to know. They thought that the only radio signal they could ever get for news was Mr. Clarke’s transmitter that is in the library. That’s how they got contacted by Hopper when the others arrived in California, and now he is finding out that maybe some radio stations are still transmitting. They are probably using some kind of solar panel to make energy because–

“This potato has a worm.” He snaps out of his thoughts immediately at your words, frowning as he looks down at it. 

“There’s no worm there.” You slowly look up at him with a cheeky smile, only to look back down, leaving that peeled potato aside to grab another.

“You were thinking too much. Just enjoy the music, you can think later.” You reply and he blinks for a few seconds as the song keeps playing. He looks back down to his carrots, grabbing the knife he left on the side to keep cutting. The minutes pass, the songs changing, songs he knows. Songs that remind him of when the world didn’t simply go to shit. 

And there’s some kind of comfort in that.

“Did you know Marvin Gaye was shot by his own father?” You have been spitting facts and news to him that he either knew or never knew, and he didn’t notice he found himself talking back at you, even giving a fact or two of his own.

“I did, that was crazy as shit.” The song ‘Sexual Feeling’ was playing, that’s why you started talking about that with him. Each song that passed, you said something about it. You were stirring the vegetables in the boiling water while he sauted the meat in the pan, with the butter you made. He threw some rosemary in it too, for extra flavour.

One other thing he didn’t notice was that he had been humming along all this time.

He had two pans where he was cooking four pieces of meat, while you worked on making sure the vegetables were properly boiled. You had added some garlic in the pot because you claimed it’s good for the overall health. He almost chuckled at that because it was just because garlic is delicious. There was no need to put garlic on boiled vegetables. 

You two didn’t even notice that even in the silence of conversation, where just the music played, there was no more awkwardness. There was no tension. There was nothing that could make you think he didn’t like you anymore. 

“Is that Marvin Gaye?” The sound of Nancy’s voice makes the two of you turn around, and she is surprised to see you working together. It’s been days since you two last had a proper conversation, and– “Wait… music?”

“Yeah. She kind of discovered it. Nance, we didn’t know the radio station was still functioning, for a whole year.” Steve’s voice makes you feel proud, knowing you helped and that he was actually surprised by your discovery. Nancy blinks a few times, not believing her ears.

“Wait, so it means we can use that to receive news…” Steve’s eyebrows meet in the middle for a second, only to then nod slightly.

“I bet they’re not different from the news we get from the transmitter in the library, Nance.” His head turns back to the meat, while you grab four plates, stacking them next to him. “Thanks.”

You try to tone down your giddiness, not wanting to show him you are really happy he is being civil and friendly with you, “No problem.”

Nancy’s eyes travel back and forth with the two of you, wondering what had changed, but it is better not to ask. Seeing Steve putting steak on each plate while you grab a colander from the cupboards below the sink. You are about to grab the pot yourself, grabbing kitchen clothes to not burn yourself on the handles, but Steve grabs them from you.

“Let me.” You see how he grabs the pot, not letting you do it, not letting you carry the heavy weight yourself.

“Um–” You don’t know how to react or say, kind of confused at his action, but you don’t dislike how much of a gentleman that move was. Nancy hums a bit to herself, clearing her throat before yelling out.

“Eddie! Food’s ready!” Your head turns to look at her, and you snap from your thoughts, not noticing you had been looking at his arms as they strained a bit when pouring the water into the colander. You quickly move to the cupboards to start setting up the table with Nancy as Eddie walks down the stairs. 

“Oh, shit, we eating Steve’s delicious steaks?” Steve rolls his eyes but he’s proud of his cooking. It’s one of those things he knew he was good at, and he never received any complaints.

“Just set the table up, Munson.” He replies and Eddie immediately moves to grab the water out of the fridge and set it on the table. You go back to the counter, next to Steve, and grab a big scooping spoon. Steve hands you one plate, with a steak on it, and you just add some boiled vegetables on it before placing it in front of Nancy as she sits down.

Once you are all seated, Eddie doesn’t even wait a second before he shoves a piece of meat into his mouth, moaning as if he’s in a porn movie, making the other three of you cringe.

“Do you have to do that everytime you eat his steak?” Nancy asks as she cuts herself a little piece, Eddie turning to look at her, with his mouth full.

“Its’ ‘fee biss’ stek’ i’ve evur’ haf.” You snort into your water at the nonsense he just mumbled  because of his mouth full of food. Steve holds in a chuckle as he grimaces in disgust.

“Can you chew and swallow before you talk?” And Eddie glares at him only for his eyes to widen up as he looks around, a frown in his eyebrows. He chews quickly, swallowing where he almost choked.

“Is that– ‘Take on me’? Is that fucking music!?” Nancy snorts as you all realize that Eddie hadn’t even noticed the music playing because he was more focused on Steve’s steaks. 

You explain that you have found a few channels over the months every time you come across a radio somewhere, though none of them have played metal music. 

“Maybe you gotta do the heavy metal channel,” you shrug. 

“Huh, you know what? Maybe I will, once I figure out how to, I fucking will,” he nods happily before he takes another bite of his steak. 

Steve chuckles a little to himself, though he keeps his eyes trained on the plate before him. Nancy and Eddie share a look of surprise, it’s been a while since they saw him so… relaxed. 

For the first time in a while, he joins in on the small talk during dinner, commenting and nodding along to the things you talk about. A sparkle of hope is inside of both Nancy and Eddie, hope that maybe there is still something left in him wanting to try, wanting to live, wanting to fight for something better. 

Maybe he is ready to leave now, maybe he is learning how to let go. 

Eddie wastes no time in wanting to find out, because the moment you are all done eating and he pushes the empty plate away from him, leaning back, he stuffs his hand into the pocket of his jeans, fishing something out. 

You all watch curiously. 

Eddie flashes you a smile when you lean closer, trying to peek over the table. He lifts his arm up and throws something over to Steve, the unmistakable sound of jingling keys passing by you, a flash over silver before your eyes before it lands in Steve’s hand. 

Steve looks down, feeling the metal in his palm, his fingers are closed around it. He doesn’t need to look to know what it is, the happiness in Eddie’s eyes and the dreadful feeling in his stomach tells him exactly what it is. 

With furrowed eyebrows, he stares at nothing in particular. 

“What is it!?” Nancy asks, impatiently. 

Eddie looks at the both of you, unable to contain the smile on his face as he starts jumping up and down on his chair. 

“I finished it,” he explains proudly, though neither of you understand what he means by that as you both give him questioning looks, to which he sighs. “The RV! It’s up and running! We can finally get out of here!” 

“Seriously?” Nancy nearly squeals, her eyes lighting up at his words, she nearly jumps from her chair, almost knocking it over. 

You know that she’s been waiting for this, waiting to be reunited with her family again. 

“Yeah! We’re going to California, baby!” Eddie exclaims, reaching for her hand and giving it a squeeze. “So you better start packing your bags.”

You smile, sharing their relief as well. You've been waiting for it too, waiting to finally see your family again, though in this moment, you fear looking over at Steve, knowing how he feels about leaving Hawkins. You still turn your head, daring to take a glance and you find exactly what you thought you would. 

His features are no longer relaxed, his lips are no longer curled into a smile, his eyes aren’t soft like they were before. A mixture of sadness and anger lingers in them, and when he looks at you, meeting your eyes, you feel a shudder running down your spine, he no longer is the one from before, the one that laughed with you, the one that talked with you like you were his… friend. 

He clenches his jaw and he turns away again, throwing the keys back to Eddie who catches them with one hand, the smile falling from his lips when he finally notices the frown on Steve’s face. 

You all flinch a little when the chair scrapes against the hardwood floor and the brunette picks his plate up angrily before walking over to the kitchen. 

Nancy’s smile falls and her shoulders slump, helplessly she looks at Eddie. 

“Dude, you know we can’t stay here,” Eddie states carefully, with a soft and gentle voice. “We’re gonna run out of everything someday, you can’t prevent–”

“We won’t run out if we go hunting,” Steve grumbles. 

“There’s nothing left here for us, man. We got people waiting for us–”

Suddenly, Steve turns around, with his eyes angrier than before and his cheeks burning red, “you got people waiting for you! Leave me out of this!”

Nancy frowns in disbelief, as well as Eddie who gets up from his chair as well, throwing the keys on the dining table. 

“Seriously? You’re telling me that the kids aren’t waiting for you? That they haven’t been asking for you every time Dustin radio’d us and you’ve been acting like a complete asshole, refusing to speak to him – to them?” 

Steve scoffs loudly, turning back around, he makes his way over to the sink. 

“We’re not leaving without you, Steve,” Nancy speaks. “I’m not leaving you behind.” 

“That’s rich coming from you, Nance.” 

She falls silent after that, opening her mouth and closing it again, she looks a little taken aback, guilt flashes in her eyes. 

Eddie only sighs, looking down with a defeated look on his face. 

You don’t know what his words mean, you don’t know why she gives up after that. Many questions run through your head but you mostly wonder what he meant by that. 

“Steve,” Eddie tries again and you can hear the desperation in his voice, you can see the sadness in his face, he doesn’t want to leave his friend behind but he doesn’t want to stay here either, he never wanted to, least of all now. “There is nothing left for us here, there is nothing left for you here, you know that, man. Robin is–”

You flinch again when he throws the plate into the sink, so hard it must’ve splattered in half. He turns around, throwing a finger at Eddie, “I told you I’m not leaving! If you wanna go, feel free to get the fuck out of here, all of you! But leave me alone!” He yells, glaring at the both of them before he storms out of the room, passing by you and out into the hallway, not bothering to grab a jacket or an umbrella before he rips open the door and leaves the house, slamming the door so harshly that you wonder if it’s still in tact or not. 

Your heart is pounding in your chest, adrenaline kicking in when you notice that Eddie and Nancy aren’t moving, not planning to follow him out. 

They know him better than you do, they know not to touch him now, he won’t listen, he won’t compromise, he will do more damage than anything else at this moment but you don’t know that. 

Worry settles deep in your gut, the urge to go after him growing stronger each passing second. You get up and push the chair back, leaving them no time to react before you rush out of the room, quickly throwing on your old pair of sneakers, not wasting any more time to follow him out. 

You hear your name being called before you slam the door shut, but you don’t bother to turn back around, you run straight into the storm, not caring about the rain you ran from earlier. 

You rip open the gate and close it behind you, looking around you as you try to spot him in the darkness, you squint your eyes when lightning strikes through the sky. You see his silhouette, three houses down the road. 

The rain runs down your face, soaking through your clothes already, the coldness of it clinging to your skin and making you shiver already, even as you start running after him, following him wherever he is going. You pick up the pace when he gets further and further away from you. 

Worry still gnawing at you, not knowing how he will react to you following him but you can’t just let him go like this, you know that he is angry but you also know that the anger is a mask for something else. He is sad, he is broken because of things that happened to him. You may not be the person he wants him to follow, but you just can’t let him go like this. 

You slow down when he rounds the corner of a house, disappearing behind the wall. The rain paddles harshly against the floor, thunder crashing through the sky. You almost slip on the muddy ground when you step into the grass, you halt in your tracks when you notice the surrounding bushes, somehow still full and alive, unlike most other things in Hawkins. 

You lost him after he disappeared into the garden of whoever lives or lived in this house. The white picket fence has no gate, and you can just walk through it. You follow the footprints in the mud, feeling grateful for the lightning for once. You push your wet hair out of your face, as you inch closer and closer to where he ran off to. 

You take deep breaths, trying not to shiver from the cold. Thunder makes you flinch again, though the loud crash is not what makes you halt in your tracks, nor is it the red lightning bolts in the sky that illuminate your surroundings, allowing you to see better, allowing you to take in the view before you. 

For a moment, you stop breathing, you stop moving completely, you are sure that even your heart stopped beating. You can only raise your hand to your lips as your eyes widen in horror. 

He is here, he is standing in this garden, only a few steps away from you. He is standing there with his head hung low, looking down at the grave before him, wilted flowers on it, a necklace dangling from the cross, a necklace that once dangled from her neck. 

Robin Buckley. 

The name engraved into the wooden cross, is the name you have heard so many times, the name of his best friend. 

So many feelings run through your veins but mostly shock and confusion. He talked about her like she was alive, they talked about her like she was alive, there was no sign of this. You could have never guessed. Every time he left the house saying that he was gonna visit Robin, you thought he was actually seeing her, you could have never imagined that he meant visiting her grave. 

Your heart breaks when the realization of it all begins to sink in, why he is the way that he is, why he doesn’t want to leave, why he is so filled with anger and rage. 

You swallow the sickening lump in your throat. You don’t know what to say or do, a part of you wants to walk away and leave him be, the other wants to comfort him, and the stronger part wins. 

“Steve…” You call out softly to him, your voice reaching him despite the raging storm.

He tenses up, you can see it, it takes him a moment but when he finally turns around, you realize what a mistake it was to follow him. Even through the darkness and the rain, you can see the glistening tears in his eyes, the angry ones, the scowl on his face directed at no one but you. 

“I-I’m sorry…”

“Don’t!” He snaps loudly. “Don’t say anything right now!”

You press your lips together, taking deep breaths as you look at the intense emotions in his eyes, and his anger makes you cower away. Shivers run down your spine, not from the rain, but from how he looks at you. 

You shake your head slowly, digging your nails into your palms. You don’t know what to do, so you just stand there and watch him. Behind the hatred in his eyes, you see pain and sadness, you see how hard he is holding onto this, you see how it is driving him crazy, how it’s ripping him apart. 

“I-I didn’t know…” You say softly. 

Steve can hear the sadness in your voice, the gentle tone in it, the warmth in your eyes – he can’t stand it, he doesn’t want it, he doesn’t deserve it. 

“That she’s dead? You didn’t know that my best friend is dead?” Steve scoffs as he slowly starts to make his way over to you, inching closer carefully, staring at you like you are his prey that he is ready to rip apart, right here, right now. “Well, now you fucking do, she’s dead, Robin is dead just like most people are, just like you will be the moment you step out there!” He throws his hand up, pointing at nothing in particular. His voice is trembling, the rain streams down his face. 

You wince at his words. 

You know what’s waiting out there, you know the dangers of this world but that doesn’t stop you from finding your family, from keeping hope alive. 

You understand him now, more than anything. You don’t know how you would be if you lost someone you loved so dearly but he still has people he loves, people that love him. 

“I’m sorry, Steve. I really am, I’m sorry that you lost her,” you start, your own voice trembling, out of nerves and out of fear. “But she is gone, a-and you staying here won’t change it! It won’t bring her back, it won’t fix anything! I understand your pain, I really do… but– you have people who care for you, Eddie and Nancy. You have other people who are waiting for you… Dustin?” You say despite the shock that still curses through you. 

You don’t know whether it’s tears running down his cheeks or if it’s just the rain, but his eyes are glassy.

“Don’t bring Henderson into this! He is alive and well and that suffices!” 

“Does it really?” You ask, tilting your head to the side. “Because you look miserable most of the time, and you will end up all alone once Eddie and Nancy are gone!”

Steve takes another step closer to you, looking down at you with nothing but hatred in his eyes. 

“I know you feel like your life is over but it’s not, I–”

“You’ve known me for two weeks. Two fucking weeks. I don’t care about your optimistic hopeful bullshit. When you find your parents and your brother dead, you will wish you never had it to begin with.”

You draw back, straightening your back, you stare at him, speechless and stunned. The words are caught in your throat, your chest aching more than ever. 

You know he is hurt and angry, and now he is trying to hurt you back. You know that they’re alive, you know that your parents are fine, you know that your brother is well. 

“They’re… they’re not–”

“You saw the world out there, open your eyes for just a second!” He snaps at you, getting closer and closer, allowing you to see him and his anger better. “You are leading my friends to their death! You are helping them leave! I-I thought you would want to stay once you realized you were safe here, that you’re all fucking safe!”

You shake your head at him, growing angry too for the things he said about your family. 

“Why wouldn’t I want to leave!?”

“Cause you are literally driving into hell! There are things you haven’t encountered there!”

“I want to see my family! Nancy and Eddie too! You have family waiting for you!” 

A humorless laugh falls from his lips, he brings his hand up to his face, pressing his knuckle under his nose as he closes his eyes for a moment before he opens them again, looking at you again, ���family? My family is here, six feet under!” He yells, pointing at the grave. He is blinded by rage and sadness. “The one person I had in my life that cared for me like no one else had is gone! And I’m not leaving her here!” 

You know there is no getting through to him, not when he is like this.

Steve would rather chase after a ghost for the rest of his life. 

“Leave her here?” You whisper. “She’s not here anymore, Steve! Do you really think she would want this for you? She wouldn’t! You were family, you were her best friend, she would want you to leave, to find a better place, to live!” 

If the look in his eyes could kill, you’d be buried under this ground right now. You can see that it’s getting worse, that his eyes are burning, that his chest is heaving. 

“I know what danger is out there, but I need my family–”

“Smell the fucking non-existent sunflowers, they’re dead by now!” 

Steve tries it again, to hurt you, to harm you where he knows it hurts the most but you shake your head, trying not to let his words get to you, trying not to let his words touch your heart. You take a step away from him, shaking your head. 

“No–, no they’re not,” you whisper, feeling the familiar lump in your throat, the painful throbbing in your heart, the hotness in your eyes. 

He scoffs at you, looking you up and down in disbelief, “you think you’re going to find your house surrounded by a gate of protection? You’re fucking delusional if you think so.”

You wrap your arms around yourself, taking a step back further. You hesitate, feeling intimidated by his presence all the sudden but he only follows, looking right into your glassy eyes. 

He is guided by hatred. He can no longer see clearly, the pain has turned him into this, the pain has made him cold. He doesn’t care about the tears in your eyes, about the trembling in your bottom lip, about the fear and the sadness in your eyes. 

“My family is alive, I-I know they are–”

“Smell the decay of the corpses around you, and tone down that hope of yours before you end up even more hurt than you thought you could ever be. Open your eyes for once and stop acting like an immature little girl.” 

His words feel like a blow to your chest, stealing the breath from you and replacing it with pain. The colors vanish before your eyes, a darkness you never allowed to enter, blurring your vision and crawling into your veins, threatening to take over. 

The tears no longer stay in your eyes, they start falling freely as your bottom lip trembles, a sob threatening to escape you though you push it back down, not wanting him to see just how much his words have hurt you. 

You see nothing in his eyes, no remorse, no guilt, nothing but this – grief has turned him cold.

Your sniffle breaks his anger a little though, the blaring redness that flashed in his eyes just seconds ago, dimming just a bit when he begins to see the damage he has done. He sees the way your chest is rising up and down heavily, the way you're blinking quickly like it would stop your tears from falling, he sees the pain in your eyes that he had caused. 

You are crying, he made you cry when he once swore to himself to never do this to anyone ever again. 

“You’re…” Your voice breaks and you wipe your tears, as though it would change anything. “You’re a douchebag.” 

The tension in his shoulders leaves him, and regret starts sinking in. 

Robin thought that of him before she got to know him, before she became his friend. He changed, even more so when he found her. 

Has her death made him turn back around?

Has it changed him this much?

She would be disappointed, she would kick his ass for what he did just now, for what he said, for how he made you feel, for making you cry when all you wanted was to help. He knew where it would hurt the most and he chose to hit you there exactly, not caring about what it would do to you. 

You tear your eyes away from him, sniffling quietly as you walk away from him, leaving him in the rain. 

His fingers itch, his hand moves forward as though to stop you but he quickly clenches his fist and breaks his eyes away from you, looking down at the muddy ground. He closes his eyes, shutting them tightly as he holds back tears. His heart is aching more than ever. 

He knows you’re right, deep down he knows. 

He knows it’s only fair for Eddie and Nancy to leave, he knows it all, he understands it all.

He knows that she would want him to go with them, that she would force him to if she could. He knows she’s gone, he hasn’t felt her presence since the day a bird had sat down on her cross, she is gone and there is no bringing her back, not even if he stays. 

But how can he leave when all that is left of her is this? 

Everywhere he turns there’s a reminder that she was here, every good memory he has of her would be abandoned and he can’t do it, he just can’t. 

With trembling lips and tears now streaming down his cold cheeks, he turns back around, looking at her name on the cross, at the reminder… that she is gone, forever. His knees almost buckle, a sob threatens to rip from his lips but he doesn’t let it, he doesn’t allow himself to break down, even as the sadness and the guilt begins to consume him. 

“Robin,” he whispers, shakily. He knows he won’t get an answer, he knows he won’t get the sign that he’s been begging for, he knows he won’t hear her voice calling back to him, the only thing he hears is the rain, the rustling trees and his own heartbeat. He tastes the saltiness of his tears, he tastes the bitterness. “Birdie…”

She is gone and she’s not coming back. 

He lost her, and soon he will lose more. 

Soon his biggest fear will catch up to him. 

Being left behind, being all alone. 

It was bound to happen. 

Right?

-

Steve didn’t come out of his room all day. 

You haven’t seen him, haven’t heard from him, haven’t heard his voice in the hallway or anywhere else. 

He came home shortly after you the night before, you heard him talking to Nancy, heard her asking questions that he didn’t answer. You know she told him that you’re leaving today, told him to pack his bags and be ready by night. It’s getting dark out now, your bags are in the RV, as well as Nancy’s and Eddie’s, along with a box of pictures and other things that they refuse to leave behind. 

You are all ready to go, all except for him. 

Eddie is giddy, excited to finally hit the road, though you can also see his jumpiness, how he can’t seem to sit still, the anxiety of having to leave Steve behind is eating at him. 

Nancy is distracting herself, sitting at the dining table, her guns and knives sprawled across the table, a cloth in her hand as she cleans her weapons. 

You’re sitting by the window, looking into blank space. Sadness lingered in you all day, and it didn’t change throughout it. He planted thoughts into your head that you refused to think about or even consider, though now a part of you can’t help but feel anxious because what if… what if there is some truth to it? What if you are being a little too hopeful? What if you are being ignorant and foolish? 

You know he was hurt, and that hurt has triggered the anger, anger that he directed at you – he wanted to hurt someone and you were there, the perfect target, you are the reason why his friends are leaving now. 

You didn’t mention what you found out last night, not to Eddie nor Nancy. It only really sunk in this morning, when you woke up with a headache after crying yourself to sleep. 

You don’t know how he lost her but something tells you that she didn’t go peacefully. He blames himself, you saw it in his eyes. 

“We should go soon.” It’s Nancy who breaks the silence in the room, a determined look on her face. You can sense her hesitation, her nervousness. She doesn’t want to go without him, you saw the way her eyes kept flicking to the staircase waiting for him to come walking down the stairs with bags in his hands, he never did. She told him to be ready by 7pm, it’s 8 now. 

Eddie told you that Steve said goodbye, that he hugged him and Nancy, and prepared food and snacks for the road. No matter how much they begged and tried to convince him to come with them, it was to no avail. He never planned on leaving, not then, not now. 

A part of you wants to try, to go up to his room and talk to him again but you doubt he wants to see you, especially after last night. He hates you, you saw it in his eyes. He won’t change his mind, not for you. He hurt you, but you still don’t want him to stay here, to be alone, to be left behind. 

Eddie stops pacing around, he watches Nancy as she gets up from her seat, putting the guns and knives away into her backpack. 

“Nance,” Eddie hesitates, looking at her in uncertainty. 

She throws her backpack over her shoulder and shrugs at him, trying to look tough, trying to mask the worry on her face. 

“He made his choice, he wants to stay. I won’t force him to come with us.” That is all she says before she leaves the room, taking you by surprise with her sudden coldness. She walks out of the house without another word.

Eddie glances at you, taking in the frown on your face, the sadness behind your puffy eyes. He knows that something happened between you and Steve when you followed him out into the rain, last night. He suspects that he threw unkind words at you – you didn’t tell him anything, neither did Steve but Eddie knows it crashed between you. 

Now all he sees is hesitation in your eyes, despite the hurt written across your face. He can tell you don’t want to leave him behind. Eddie noticed that you had developed some kind of attachment to Steve, despite his constant cold shoulder. 

You keep your eyes trained on the ground, blinking rapidly as you get up, not moving away from the window just yet though. 

Eddie sighs, he walks over to the desk by the window, opening one of the drawers, he picks out a map he kept hidden, a copy of the one already in the RV. It’s marked up just like the other one, the town in California circled in a red color. He carries it over to the dining table, “in case he changes his mind,” he tells you. 

You furrow your eyebrows as you look between him and the map, “I thought you didn’t have a copy?” 

He makes his way over to you, a small smile grazing his lips, he places his palm on your shoulder, “guess I lied a little.” His brown eyes are sad, not matching the smile at all. He squeezes you, nodding softly before he steps away, looking around one more time, even though he’s done it a few times already today. “I’ll be outside.”

“Yeah…” 

He closes the door behind him, leaving you by yourself. 

You can’t say that you’re surprised by their sudden decision to leave today, but then again, they have been waiting for this moment for a long time. They’ve been waiting for it for a year, waiting for him to be ready. He never will be. 

You take a deep breath as you look around the house you found shelter in, found new friends in. You wouldn’t have been here if you didn’t follow him that day. You tug your jacket closer to your body, gripping it tightly. 

You don’t want to leave without him. 

But you are the last person to change his mind. 

You have known him for a few days only and yet he managed to crawl under your skin. You got used to him, despite his rough demeanor, despite yesterday. 

You make your way upstairs, you can’t leave without saying goodbye. 

But when you knock on his door, he doesn’t respond or open the door – not that you expected him to. You lean against the door frame, keeping your knuckle against the wooden door. 

“Steve?” You whisper shakily, hoping to hear his voice. “I uh… I just wanted to thank you, for letting me stay, I know you didn’t want to but still… thank you.”

You hear nothing on the other side, no shuffling, no footsteps, no sighs, nothing. 

A sigh falls from your lips, the sadness in you spreading further. 

“Despite everything, it was nice meeting you… Goodbye Steve.” 

You finally pull away from the wood, looking at the door one last moment before you head back downstairs and grab the backpack you left on the floor. You look around the house one last time and you can’t help but imagine him walking downstairs, where his friends once were, and see them all gone. Just himself and the ghost of what once was and never will be again.

It hurts to leave him behind, and you can’t even imagine how Nancy and Eddie feel. You have your answer once you head out and towards the back where you see Eddie wiping his cheek away while making sure the tires are all set, and how Nancy has her back towards the two of you, and her legs are slightly shaking as she looks at stuff into her weapon bag.

They are hurt from leaving him behind, way more than you are. You had to reassure them that even in loneliness, Steve will be safe. He is inside a community, guarded even if little, but he is still with people and in safety.

“Okay ladies, I think we are good to go.” Eddie says finally and you head over to Nancy, putting a hand on her shoulder.

“Come on, Nance.” You see her looking at the distance, towards the same way you followed Steve the night before. You see her gulp tightly, nodding at you before turning around and heading inside the RV first. You turn to see Eddie giving you a small comforting smile as he looks at the house one last time. 

He sighs as he turns towards you, bowing down as he points with his arm towards the open door of the RV. You can only smile so little at the theatrics, and you take a deep breath before you step inside, surprised to see just how well equipped it is. Two big seats at the front, driver and passenger, then followed by counters on the side, and then a couch on the other. A pull out couch. Then at the end of the kitchen counter sat a small booth, with a small table in the middle. 

You see there is a small little hallway, which has the door to the toilet, and then at the very back end you can see the big double bed. It has a sliding door to close it from everyone else if needed. You are amazed by it, a small and nice motorhome for the three of you. Eddie enters the RV as Nancy starts the vehicle. He closes the door behind him and he wiggles his eyebrows at you.

“You like it? I installed the pull out couch myself. We have enough gas till the next possible gas station, and hopefully there’s still some left, so we need to make sure to not run out before that.” Nance only nods as you look up and open the bag cupboard at the top of the couch, putting your bag inside as well as Eddie’s and hers. You close it and you three hear the RV coming to life finally. 

“Good job Eddie.” Nancy finally smiles his way, and Eddie puffs out his chest as he sits in the passenger’s seat, pulling the map out of the glove compartment in front of him. He had marked down all possible places they could stop at to look for more food and gas. Even toiletries. He also marked all possible gas stations, and you realize they had been planning this for a very long time.

“Okay… goodbye Hawkins you piece of shit.” Eddie says, making you hum as you take a seat on the couch. Your body suddenly sways as the RV starts to move slowly, and the excitement starts to come back to you as well as the fear of what you might encounter. You are going to your family. You are going to find your family and you will be safer this time. You have people around you, armed and willing to protect you as much as you would protect them. You won’t sleep in the mud, looking for cover under the cup of the trees. You will be sleeping either on a nice couch, or the bed whenever available. 

You see how Nancy turns the lights on and off quickly, just enough to mark her way through the trees, not following the main road so no one would stop you all. Your hands were gripping the couch tightly, not wanting to look out the window, not wanting to look back, but you were itching to do so. 

It takes time because Nancy is going as slow as possible so the motorhome would not do that much of a sound thanks to the engine. You know that people are already sleeping by now, except for the guards at the front gate, and you are taking the closed off one. The one in all chains. 

Once you reach it, Nancy stops the RV right in front of it, Eddie getting up from the passenger’s seat to walk towards the cupboard underneath the sink of the kitchen, taking out some bolt cutters. Your eyes widen as he pulls those out and you turn to look at Nancy.

“Hang on, you are cutting those open– you are going to leave the gate open for all the community inside here!” Nancy sighs at your outburst and you hear the clanking of chains, you turn your head to see Eddie holding a new pair in his hands and a lock.

“We are not that reckless and selfish. It took me some time to find a spare pair of chains this size, and a lock, but– It’ll endure.” With those last words, he jumps off the RV, and you rush to the passenger seat to see him get into action, grabbing the cutters and start snapping the chains away. 

You’re biting your lip as you see the metals falling piece by piece. Eddie hesitates for just one second before he snaps open the last chain. He pushes one of the doors open slightly and Nancy turns on the bright lights instantly. You see how he pulls it open even more and you see how there is nothing out there, giving you guys the green light to go. He gives a nod towards the two of you and pushes the first gate open and then the next one. 

His eyes widen when one bright light shines your way, the guard light tower pointing your way. The sound of a loud siren blasting suddenly and you realize you’ve been caught. Nancy and you motion Eddie to leave the chain behind, that people will put it back together instead of him. 

“Shit, shit, shit!” Nancy curses loudly. 

Eddie snaps out of it as he rushes to the doors of the RV, the motorhome starting to move forward as you hear the screams of people, telling you to stop, to turn back, that it’s dangerous out there. The front of the vehicle is out and you’re almost passed the gate when Eddie’s head turns to his left, his panicked face falling as his eyes widen. 

“Eddie, get in!” You yell, trying to snap him out, and Nancy groans loudly.

“Munson, I’m stepping the gas whether you get fully inside or not–”

“It’s Steve!” Her eyes widen as well as yours. She doesn’t stop moving, instead slowing down. 

You rush towards the window, popping your head out and sure enough, you see him. 

He is running fast even with a bag hanging on his back, two duffel bags on each side of his hips, his bat in one hand, the other gripping a flashlight tightly. You hear Eddie egging him on, to keep running because Nancy is not stopping, she can’t. You see the flashlights of people running towards you, right behind Steve, ready to stop you all from stepping into the danger zone. 

He can’t feel his limbs anymore from how much he ran, from how dumb it was to not tell the three of you that he had actually packed, leaving the bags in his room. Dumb to tell you that he left to give his last goodbye to Robin’s parents and Robin herself. He spent all day with her. Had breakfast, had lunch, and finally dinner. 

He lost track of time, and when he returned to the house, none of you were in it. His heart had crumbled to the floor, but it was just a few minutes late, so if he had any luck, you three were still near. He grabbed everything as fast as he could, rushing into the kitchen to shove one last thing into his duffel bag, and then run out. He ran through the woods with his flashlight, following the broken bushes and the tire trails the vehicle left. 

As soon as the RV came into view, the lights from behind him turned on, his panic rising as he didn’t have a chance to even catch a breath. He saw how the officers and the guards started running towards him with their flashlights, and he took off. He ran as fast as his feet could take him, trying not to think of all the weight he was also carrying. He could hear Eddie calling for him, his hand reaching out already for Steve to grab.

He knew that the moment he grabbed Eddie’s hand, Hawkins would be a thing of the past. She would be the past. Everything would be the past. But Robin would have wanted him to move forward. She would have wanted him to keep on going. She would have kicked his ass if she found out he was willing to throw everything away just for her. She would have wanted him to actually live.

So he grabs onto Eddie’s hand.

Eddie pulls tightly with a grunt, using all his strength. Nancy picks up the speed and throws her foot onto the gas when Steve manages to put one foot on the first step of the RV. Eddie drags them both inside, falling onto the floor with Steve. 

You are stunned as you stare down at them both. You snap out of it when you feel the cold wind, you run towards the door and shut it, locking it.

Steve is panting, no, heaving as he tries to recover his breath on all fours, staring at the floor. Eddie is sitting up, his hand coming to rest on Steve’s back. The three of you are silent, not having expected Steve to appear out of nowhere at the last minute. 

“What… What happened?” Eddie asks, his own breathing heavy from the whole ordeal, and you can just stand over them both, looking as Steve starts to shake, your eyes coming to meet in the middle in worry.

“I– I was saying goodbye– I forgot to tell you, I’m so sorry–” And you can hear the choked up voice, your heart turning with sadness as Eddie’s eyes glistened, looking at his friend. Nancy couldn't stop driving, but she turned her head for just one second to look and you saw how a tear was running down her cheek, her gaze turning back to the road.

“Steve…” Eddie’s voice is low, a whisper and it was the key that opened the gate to Steve’s emotions. Through his heavy breaths, you start hearing his sobs. Choked up sobs that he wanted to swallow down, but it was impossible. Soon, his tears were hitting the floor as he stared down at it, his fingers digging into the carpet as memories flashed in his mind.

He could almost picture Robin waving at him from the gate that people were already closing. He could almost picture how she would be smiling and jumping happily the more the RV drove away. How she would be cheering him on. His cries were loud, knowing there is a part of him that was being left behind, a part that he will never in his life get back. 

You could hear the sniffles coming from the driver’s seat as well, quieter than Steve’s cries of pain, and you saw how Eddie was keeping a strong face for both his friends, especially Steve who was still trying to breathe through his sobs.

You just stood there as you waited, wanting to comfort the man that was on the floor, but you knew better. It was a moment that he needed to have with his friends, with his family. You felt your own tears flowing down your cheeks. You didn’t know Robin, but from the cries of your new found friends, you realized she was loved. She was very much loved.

The road ahead was uncertain, but in Steve’s mind, only one little thing resonated, one little voice that he could hear despite the dark clouds inside it, and the screams coming out of his mouth. If he was imagining it, he hoped it would never leave him. He might have gone crazy, but he was so happy to hear her voice, at least one last time.

‘Goodbye, Dingus.’

☀︎

taglist: @prettyboyeddiemunson @thecreelhouse @tvserie-s-world @thesickestqrmydcll @crispystarfishhottub @sophal22 @definitionwanderlust @talkativecarnation @mysticalwoolenfroglegs @ariesandwolves @mortqlprojections @sattlersquarry @sherrylyn0628 @purpleeyeswithgoldensparkles @micheledawn1975 @keepingitlokiii @littleromanoff2005 @sunshine-mrk

[onceinablueberrymoon]

the name game | husband!salesman x pregnant!reader

scenario: pregnant!reader is overdue and put on bedrest. you quickly grow bored and try to find ways to stay entertained, one of which involves a certain former player.  setting: a few months after the events of season 1; set shortly after i spy. for added context, please read part 1, part 2, and part 3 first! word count: 1.9k warnings: pregnant!reader; deception; practically taunting gihun (poor guy); lots of fluff; reader and salesman work for the games; mentions of birth; no use of y/n; second person POV notes: sorry this took so long, this was more difficult to write than i first imagined. everything after this part will take place in season 2, so it shouldn’t take as long :) also, i felt so bad for gi-hun while writing this lol. as always, please enjoy! borders by @enchanthings-a!

Any day now.

That’s what the doctors told you two weeks ago. 

Ever since you passed your due date, your husband had basically confined you to bedrest. He didn’t want you walking out and about in such a vulnerable state. To top it off, it just so happened that recruitment had finished for the 35th Games, meaning that he could stay home to care for you. Your doting husband waited on you hand and foot, bringing you anything and everything you craved. Even so, he would have to leave the apartment for hours at a time, whether it be to buy groceries or to take care of some business for the Frontman. When the salesman wasn’t there, boredom quickly became your best friend.

Since you had so much time on your hands, you decided to do a deep dive into Seong Gi-hun. While you had previously done research on the man that considered you a friend, you realized you didn’t know too much about his recent life, other than the fact he was lonely and vengeful towards the Games. 

You retrieved your work laptop from your desk and settled on the bed against the headboard. A sharp kick from the baby caused you to flinch. You couldn’t wait to be done with your pregnancy. 

Opening the Games’ database of players, you browsed through the files until you found what you were looking for: List of Players, 2020. You clicked the folder, which had profiles of the players from the year Gi-hun won. Your eyes scanned the numbers before eventually arriving on 067.

Kang Sae-byeok. 

Browsing through her profile, one detail caught your eye. 

“How did Gi-hun know someone from North Korea?” You whispered to yourself. 

While it wasn’t uncommon for North Koreans in debt to make their way into the Games, they usually didn’t have close allies. You remembered how distraught Gi-hun had been when 218 had stabbed her in the neck. Gi-hun had also told you how he had helped Sae-byeok’s younger brother afterwards by entrusting him to his childhood friend’s mother. But you were baffled as to why he would go to such lengths for someone he just met. 

You closed Sae-byeok’s profile and scrolled down to click another number. 

218. 

“Cho Sang-woo.” You muttered under your breath. You remembered him from the final game against Gi-hun, and that the two seemed to be closer than just competitors fighting in a match to the death. 

Scrolling down, you noticed that he had graduated from Seoul National University. Then it clicked. Gi-hun had once mentioned a childhood friend who had attended that school in one of his many stories, but you had forgotten his name.

You grimaced. With that background, he must have screwed up big-time to have landed in that much debt. When you saw that he put up his mother’s shop as collateral for his loans, you almost pitied the man. Clearly, he was desperate.

The sound of the front door opening and closing interrupted your thoughts. Peering through the open doorway of your bedroom, you tried to get a glimpse of your husband and whatever goodies he bought you. Today’s craving was pastries from the local bakery, which he had promised to get on his way back.

“I’m home,” he called from the foyer. He soon entered your field of vision, holding his briefcase in one hand and your bag of treats in the other. You cheered, clapping your hands. He came to your bedside to place a kiss on your head, then another on your bump. 

You smiled, rubbing your stomach gently. Another kick. “Mini’s active today.” 

While you decided not to know the sex of the baby until they were born, you still chose names for your child: Min-seok for a boy, and Min-seo for a girl. Regardless of gender, you had affectionately nicknamed the baby “Mini”. Your husband wasn’t the keenest on the idea of nicknames in general, but seeing you happy made his heart swell.

“What were you doing while I was gone?” He glanced at your computer screen. 

“Trying not to die of boredom. Do you know if Gi-hun was close to that North Korean girl before the games? A…” You looked back at your notes. “A Kang Sae-byeok?” Your husband shook his head. 

“He took her brother out of an orphanage to leave him with 218’s mother. What a hero,” you mused. “Speaking of which, did you know that 218 was Gi-hun’s childhood friend?” Again, your husband shook his head.

You continued, “Cho Sang-woo, top of his class at SNU. Yet he still ended up in crippling debt.” Your husband nodded. “It’s not surprising, I suppose. They came from the same place, after all.”

Suddenly, your cellphone rang. It was Gi-hun.

“Why would 456 call you?” Your husband asked curiously. You shrugged. “He told me that he would update me on the investigation.”  

Answering the call, you put Gi-hun on speakerphone.

“Hello? Are you there?” He called your name. 

“Any news?” You asked.

“Not yet, but Mr. Kim thinks he has a lead. One of his men received a suspicious business card, but the phone number was out of service.” You could hear him sigh. 

Then, an idea popped into your head.

“Gi-hun-ssi, could I get your opinion on something?” Your tone was innocent, which made your husband turned to you, his eyes wide. Nothing good ever came of you feigning innocence.

“So my husband and I were thinking of names.” You spoke casually. “What do you think about ‘No-eul’ for a girl? I know ‘sunset’ is kind of cliché and all but it’s so pretty… Although if the baby’s born at dawn, perhaps ‘Sae-byeok’ fits better instead?” You could hear Gi-hun’s breath hitch on the other line. Your husband let out a small chuckle.

You paid him no mind, continuing on with your rambling as if nothing happened. 

“That is, if the baby is even a girl at all. Maybe it’s a boy. My husband wanted to wait until the baby’s born. Everything’s a game to him.” You paused. 

‘Damn,’ you thought, ‘I hope Gi-hun didn’t pick up on that.’ 

He said nothing. 

“Anyway,” you shook it off. “What do you think?” It took a few moments for Gi-hun’s voice to crackle through the speaker. 

“I… I think either is nice.” Silence. “I once had a friend named Sae-byeok… It’s a beautiful name.” His voice was strained. Even though you couldn’t see his face, you could tell he was trying not to cry.

“Oh, really? That makes it even more special. I’ll keep that in mind.” You replied sagely. “If the baby’s a boy, my husband suggested naming him after his uncle.”

Your husband raised his eyebrows, looking at you expectantly. You took a deep breath. This was going to hurt. 

“…Do you know if the name ‘Sang-woo’ is popular nowadays?” 

Almost immediately, sobs began pouring out from your phone’s speakers. 

“Gi-hun-ssi?” Your voice was laced with concern. “Gi-hun-ssi, are you alright? Did something happen?” 

“I-I’m fine. I have to go. P-please let me know what name you choose.” The line went dead.

Your husband let out a low whistle. “I’m impressed. You’re more cruel than I thought.” You giggled, blowing him a kiss. He climbed in bed to sit next to you, and you curled up into his side as best you could. He rested a hand on your stomach like he always did before peppering your neck with kisses. You chuckled. He truly loved when your dark side came out. 

After the initial rush of excitement wore off, you started to feel a bit bad for Gi-hun. His reaction was more intense than you expected. Perhaps you took it too far.

Your husband’s lips on yours snapped you out of your thoughts. Then, as if sensing your anxiety, he smiled softly.

“Don’t worry. I doubt 456 will make the connection. It was just a coincidence.” 

You nodded. It was just a big coincidence — both names were common enough. And besides, Gi-hun had no reason to think you and the salesman were connected. For all he knew, your husband worked for Samsung.

You rested your head on your husband’s shoulder and he placed a kiss on your forehead. You soon dozed off, the pastry cravings (temporarily) forgotten.

A pang in your belly woke you up from your slumber. While you were generally uncomfortable all the time for the past couple months, you were never in pain. This was different. Your hand flung to clutch your bump and you took a deep breath to ride out the pain, which soon ended. But that did little to ease your concerns. 

‘Was that a contraction?’ You wondered. You had had false contractions recently but were told not to worry. How were you supposed to know what real ones were like?

A sharp kick to your side. Strong enough to wake your husband whose hand had slightly slipped down your belly.

“Are you alright?” He asked, glancing at your distressed face.

“I… I think the baby might be coming.” You took a deep breath, the weight of your words crashing down.

The moments that followed were a blur. You vaguely remembered your husband helping you out of bed and the cramped drive to the hospital. After spending hours in agonizing labour, you gave a final push, and your baby had arrived. Their shrill cries did little to comfort you – you just wanted to hold them. The nurse soon placed the baby on your chest and maneuvered your arms to hold them properly.

The world around you seemed to fade away, your focus solely on the tiny newborn you were holding. Distantly, you heard someone say, “It’s a boy.”

Your husband kissed your cheek and murmured, “You did so well.” You let out a breathless chuckle, tears welling in your eyes.

As your son opened his eyes, you let out a little gasp. 

“He looks just like you, don’t you think? His eyes are the same as yours.” While his features were still scrunched up, it was clear that he was your husband’s son. 

You carefully passed your son into your husband’s waiting arms, and you wished you had your phone on you so you could take a picture. The difference in your husband was striking – his usual cold and stoic recruiter persona had disappeared and was replaced with this warm, calming presence. You almost cried when your husband kissed the top of your son’s head. 

Even though he never said anything, you knew he worried about becoming a father. Your husband didn’t talk about his own father, but from what you gathered, he hadn’t been a good one.

A nurse soon came with the birth certificate. “Do you have a name?”

You looked at your husband, who had since passed your son back to you. A sly grin formed on your face. 

“So, Sang-woo?” Your husband laughed, shaking his head. 

You turned to smile at the nurse, who was visibly confused. “His name is Min-seok.” She nodded and scribbled the name down before leaving the room. 

The three of you were left in comfortable silence, with Min-seok stirring every so often in your arms. Soon after, your exhaustion caught up with you, and you handed him off to your husband so you could get some well-deserved rest. You watched your son snuggle into his father’s arms, a smile gracing your face as you drifted off to sleep. 

tags: @delfinadolphin

[i-am-a-bad-influence-writes]

P*rn ☆  Epilogue

Masterlist Word count: 2.3 k Sylus x Fem!Reader

Summary: You have been following a spicy content creator by the name of Red Crow for some time now. Nothing could’ve prepared you for what would happen when he moves into the apartment next door.

Author's note: That's it guys. Thank you so much for reading and all the sweet comments. I've had a blast writing this story<3

Warning! This story is meant for mature audiences. It contains sex, swear words, porn, smoking, intimate piercings, mentions of drugs, alcohol, mentions of domestic abuse, and other mature themes. Do not engage if you are under 18.

Mature content under the cut.

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'So tell me, Rafayel, did you actually set them up,' Zayne asks with a smile as he looks at the happy couple. Rafayel frowns at him. 

'No. Why would I want them to move in together? That's less rent money,' he says in an annoyed, whiny voice. But then he sighs and rolls his eyes, making his annoyed façade a lot less believable. 'I guess they look good together though.' 

'That they do,' Zayne agrees, smiling as he looks at the happy couple entering the ballroom together. 

Today, he had had the great honor of being your best man with Tara by his side as your bridesmaid. He doesn't think he's ever been prouder than he was seeing you walk down the aisle in your beautiful wedding dress with your hair and makeup all done up and the biggest smile on your face.  

It became even more beautiful when he heard the softest sob coming from the man standing there waiting for you. Tears of joy freely flowed down his cheeks as he wore a smile as big as yours. 

He's glad you've found your forever person and couldn't be happier for you. He gets to watch you grow happier and happier each and every day, gets to see you with a partner that allows you to be yourself fully and give yourself fully without taking too much. By now, he loves Sylus like a brother and can't imagine his life without him. 

As he watches Sylus and you sway over the dance floor, your first dance as husband and wife, it brings a tear to his eyes. When the song ends, you approach him with outstretched hands. He takes a quick peek behind you at Sylus to check if it's okay. Sylus nods with a calm smile as Zayne takes your hand. Together, you sway across the dance floor with Sylus gentle eyes on the both of you, smiling contently. 

'Zayne, I don't think I can ever thank you enough for everything you've done for me, for us, but still... Thank you.' 

'I'd do it again a million times to see you happy.' You smile and lean your head on his shoulder. He looks over at Sylus, who is still happily looking at the two of you. It is truly a gift that you two managed to end up together like this. The happiness that has been granted to you is a gift from the gods, truly. He can only hope he'll find something like this for himself. 

'Remind me to introduce you to one of my colleagues,' you say with a cheeky grin, 'I think you'll like her.' 

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'Wait, stop,' you giggle, pushing Sylus off you. The man has been leeching on your neck ever since people started leaving. He pouts at you but lets you do what has to be done. Which is unlocking the door to your shared apartment. When you push the door open, he picks you up and you squeal. 'What are you doing?' 

'Carrying my bride over the threshold,' he states proudly as he walks into the apartment. He closes the door with a kick and carries you straight to the bedroom where he gently puts your back on your feet. 'Would you grant me the honor of taking off your dress?' 

'If you promise me we'll take a shower after.' His pout reappears. The man was banking on something else happening, but you have been in a heavy dress all day and you truly want to wash the day away. It was beautiful and a memory that you'll never forget, but you can almost feel your skin itch under your makeup. 'Please?' 

'Anything my wife wants, my wife gets,' he agrees and walks around you to busy himself with the beautiful pearl buttons on the back of your dress. 'You were enchanting today. Truly in my top five of your most beautiful moments.' 

'Top five? Is it even number one?' 

'No, number one will always be when I woke up with you after we finally had the talk. But it's a good number two.' You giggle as you feel his hands gently work your buttons. Each inch of freed skin is kissed lovingly. 

'What are the others?' 

'Five is when I saw you for the very first time. I was having a terrible time setting up my apartment and you came over with that bottle of whiskey.' You let out a chuckle. 

'You were so rude to me.' 

'I was, but you were beautiful. Even if you did look annoyed,' he adds and continues his list, 'number four is the first time you let me eat you out.' Another chuckle leaves your lips, but then you feel his hands on your hips as he kneels down onto the floor. 

'And number three will be waking up with you tomorrow. The first time waking up with you as my wife,' his voice sounds a little wobbly. When you look over your shoulder, you can tell he has tears in his eyes. With the last button undone, you turn and kneel on the floor with him, taking his face in your hands. He instantly leans into your touch, eyes closing to focus on the warmth you spread through his body. 'I could've never imagined we would've made it this far if it hadn't been for your stubbornness.' 

It almost sounds like a joke, but he means it wholeheartedly. 'And I would do it again and again, a million times if I have to, if that means I get you as my husband,' you tell him, not a trace of uncertainty in your words. His eyes open again and he looks at you, taking in your figure. The dress draping off your shoulders, your makeup so perfectly done, the honestly in your face. 

'I don't know what I've done to deserve you, but it must've been pretty damn good,' he tries to joke, but a tear slips out. Your thumb wipes it away and you lean in to press a kiss on his lips. It's searing hot, a burning promise to stand beside him whatever may come next. 

As lips part, he seems much better. You smile and get up from your knees, offering him your hand. 'Now, I think it's about time we consummate this marriage.' He takes your hand and gets up, pressing a kiss on your cheek. 

'Sweetie, I know you're tired. Let's just take a shower.' 

'Fine,' you pretend to be annoyed, but he sees right through it. 'I'm waking you up with a blowie though.' 

'If I ever say no to that, shoot me.' 

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ 

Despite both being drained from the wedding, you talked for hours. About the past, the present, the future. Little things you hadn't admitted to each other, like Sylus secret love of Fleetwood Mac and your extreme love for- and fascination with sunsets. By the time you both fell asleep, it must've been three or four am. So you aren't really surprised that you wake up with the late morning sun bathing the whole room in a warm orange. 

However, you could've slept for much longer had it not been for a certain someone sucking hickeys on your thighs. With a sluggish movement, you pick up the covers and see Sylus between your legs. Each of his arms wrapped around a thigh, your underwear nowhere to be seen, and a cheeky grin on his lips when he meets your eyes. 

'I thought I said I was going to give you a blowjob.' 

'Well, the day is still young,' he rasps, his voice still full of sleep, 'and I intent to show my wife how much I love her first.' My wife. The words make his stomach tingle the same as they do for you. 

'Okay, but push the covers off. I want to see my husband.' 

'Yes ma’am.' He throws off the covers in one swift motion and plunges right into his breakfast. Right away, flattening his tongue against your clit and licking a thick stripe. Your back arches as you whimper his name. After that, there's no stopping him. 

He plunges two fingers into you and eats like a man starved, like he needs your pussy to stay alive. His fingers pump and curl deliciously inside of you while your body moves uncontrollably, only staying in place because of Sylus’ tight grip on your thighs. The room is filled with moans and whimpers of Sylus’ name. He revels in it. 

Before you know it, your orgasm washes over you. As you try to steady your breathing, Sylus moves from his spot which is slightly uncharacteristic for him. Usually, he tries to get you on the edge of a second orgasm first. 

'My beautiful wife, would you grant me the honor of fulfilling a fantasy of mine,' he asks between kisses as he makes his way slowly to your mouth, placing a loving kiss right on your lips. You wrap your arms around his shoulders to hold him close to you. 

'And what would that be, husband?' 

'Remember that video in my bathroom of me jerking off?' You nod. 'That was the evening after the party. I heard you masturbating and I started imagining being with you. Holding you. I'd like to fuck you how I imaged I would.' 

'Is this something we need a traffic light system for?' He shakes his head. 

'No, none of that. I just want you to stay laying here, just like this and,' he gently lifts your legs until your feet are planted on his mattress, thighs far enough apart to allow space for him. He takes your hands and move them into the hair on the back of his neck. He spreads his legs, sitting on his heels as he gently lines his length up to your pussy. 'Is this alright for you?' 

A smile spreads across your face. This is nothing special. It almost makes you blush that he would imagine such a normal scene and get off so hard on it. You nod and pull on his hair. 'Fuck me, Sylus.' 

He slips in gently and leans closer to press his lips on yours, setting a gentle pace as he kisses you deeply. But you quickly get enough of the slow pace and pull his hair again to separate his lips from yours. 'Quicker, please,' you beg, looking desperate and longing for release. With a smile, he starts driving his length into you at a quicker pace. An orchestra of the little sounds you make fills the room once more. It's so much more beautiful than he imagined back then, so much more beautiful. Your eyes are focused on him and only him. 

'You're absolutely stunning, sweety,' he tells you as he leans closer, wrapping his arms around your body to pull you closer, his lips exploring the expanse of your neck and shoulders. Your hands slip out of his hair and onto his back, your nails leaving works of art on his back in despair. One of his hands leaves your body, moving between the two of you to rub your bundle of nerves, helping you closer to a state of ecstasy. 

'Sylus, you feel so good,' you manage to moan out, clawing your way as close to him as you possibly can. In response, he pulls you up into his lap and holds you close to his chest, as close as humanly possible, while picking up the pace and drilling into you. 

Your moans become louder and you are so grateful the bedroom doesn't border on another apartment as you hear the bed creak pitifully. In a terrible attempt to silence yourself as you rapidly get closer to the edge, you bite down on his collarbone. He groans out your name in a mixture of pain and pleasure. The feeling tips him over the edge. 

His hands grab your hips so hard you're sure it'll bruise, severing you the same mixture of pain and pleasure to help you tip over the edge and fall into the abyss with him. Your teeth let go of his skin as you whole body shakes in pleasure. Sylus holds you close, his arms wrapping around your body like a safety net whilst his hips jerk up to help you ride through your orgasm. 

When he feels your shaking subside, he gently lays you down on the bed and slips out of you. A pathetic whine slips from your lips as your face contorts in disagreement, but all he can see is his beautiful wife. His absolutely perfect wife who is so willing to give herself to him. 

He lays down and snuggles up to you, arms wrapping around your body like they're meant to be there. 'You did perfect.' 

'Sylus?' He hums in response, eyes already closed again, ready for a nap. 'Can I say that I am absolutely flattered that this is what you thought of doing with me the first time you met me?' 

'You can, but do remember that I first fell for you because you were being a brat,' he retorts. There's a chuckle in the back of your throat, but you force it down and huff instead, pretending you're that bratty again. A rumbling laugh goes through his chest. 'I'm joking.' 

'You're really not.' 

'No, I'm not. I still love you though.' The biggest grin spreads on your face, basking in the bliss that this beautiful man loves you. It's something that you didn't see coming, but when you first saw him it hit you like a semitruck. You truly couldn't be happier than you are when you're with him and you hope you'll ever find the words to truly express that to him. 

'I love you too.' 

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Previous - Fin. - Back to the start

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Taglist

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[mimiiiiiiiiisstuff]

"Real Man"

Older Au Chapter 3.

THIS IS A MATURE STORY. IT HAS SOME SEXUAL SENCES, IF YOU DONT LIKE DON'T READ. Ok yall ik i said i was gonna post this last night but i hated it so i rewrote it! if it sucks don't say anything pls. sorry if it's repetitive, lmk whose team ur on!!! And what you want to happen next. comments, reblogs, likes and kind asks are always appreciated. If this one random anon keeps sending theses crazy things, i'll have to remove anon asks, which I dont want to do. I love my anons, so pls be nice. Send in asks, I miss yall, I've been sooooo busy with school lately and I havent had time to get on here. THIS IS MY 1ST TIME WRITNG ANYTHING LIKE THIS SO LMK HOW IT ISSSSS

WHY AM I GETTING THE FEWLINF EVERYONE HATES THIS??? IM ABT TO DELEYEB TS NGL 😭

Six months had passed since that night—the night you let Slade’s words sink into your skin like venom and made the choice that changed everything. For better and worse.

You hadn't accepted his offer easily. Not after what happened with Two-Face. That betrayal still sat in your chest like a dull ache, a constant reminder of how easily people could take what they wanted and leave you with nothing. You had sworn not to trust so easily again, not to let yourself fall into another cycle of being used and discarded. So when Slade made his offer, you hesitated.

"You're smarter than this," you had told yourself that night. "You know what happens when you trust the wrong person. You know what men like him want."

And yet, here you were. Living in his world.

Not as a prisoner, not as a puppet, but as something more. The lines were blurred, shifting with every glance, every order he gave that you didn’t question, every moment that stretched too long in the dim glow of your shared space. Because that’s what it was now, shared.

The apartment Slade had set up was far from a safe house. It was huge and spacious, Slade wasn't a cheap man. It felt lived in. Your things mingled with his, your scent lingering in the air. You bought vases and filled them with flowers, you organized the kitchen and bought him real groceries, not just canned food. You hung pictures you developed of you and him. Ones he didn't know you took. You roped him into painting your room a baby blue, a color he swore he hated, yet he still slept in your room every night. It was comical to see such a large man laying in a pastel colored room on your floral bedsheets, the last man you let into your bed was equally large. But we don't talk about him.

Slade cared for you deeply, or at least tolerated you. At first you were always at each others throats, each person throwing a more cutting remark than the other. When your arguements got so bad that you began to ignore him, he brought home women, made sure he heard them moaning through the walls till you snapped and began screaming.

You hated Slade Wilson

But after the first month things began to change, Slade never said anything about it, but you caught the way his eyes would darken when he returned from a mission, his gaze sweeping over you like he needed to confirm you were still here. Like he expected you to disappear.

You leaned against the counter, watching him from the corner of your eye as he cleaned his weapons. The rhythmic motion of his hands, the way he handled each blade with the kind of care most reserved for something fragile, it was almost mesmerizing. Everything he does is.

“You’re staring,” he said, not looking up. God, he's so smug.

You scoffed. "No, you are. I don't stare at creepy old men. In fact, it's usually the opposite."

His lips curled into that knowing smirk, the one that made something tighten in your chest. “If you say so, sweetheart.”

The nickname used to irritate you. Now, you weren’t sure what it did. All you knew was that it made your heart race the way only one person had before. He used to call you sweetheart too.

Slade’s presence in your life was suffocating, an unshakable force that wrapped itself around you, squeezing tighter with every passing day. He was cruel in the way he trained you, brutal in his expectations. If you failed, he had no patience for it. Slade trained you for greatness and he wouldn't tolerate anything less.

“You call that a punch?” he sneered one evening in your early days of training, after you had barely managed to land a hit on him. “Pathetic. I’ve seen senior citizens put up more of a fight,"

Gritting your teeth, you launched at him again, only for him to sidestep effortlessly. A sharp pain bloomed across your ribs as he shoved you down, hard. The thing that you loved and hated most about Slade was that he treated you like an equal. He didn't see you as his younger, fragile, kind-of girlfriend; he saw you as an equal opponent.

“You hesitated,” he said, standing over you. “That hesitation will get you killed.”

You spat blood onto the mat and glared up at him. “Or maybe I just don’t care if I live or die. Nothing is ever really this serious.”

Something flickered in his eye, dark and unreadable, before he crouched beside you. His fingers dug into your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze. He didn't understand your humor sometimes, considering he's old enough to be your father.

“Oh, but you do, you want to survive. To be great, ” he murmured, voice dangerously soft. “If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be here.”

He let go of you with a sharp shove and stood. “Get up. We’re not done.”

The tension between you both had only grown over the months. Slade had a way of pressing in, invading your space without ever needing to touch you. Sure you guys fucked almost twice, sometimes three times a week, but there was that small sliver of confusion and hesitation.

Sure, he slept in your bed ever night now, called it "our room," and sure you stayed up waiting when his missions would take too long. Yeah, you would run and jump into his open arms, feeling nothing but content as he kissed your forehead and took you to the bed, it's normal that ya'll didn't even have sex some nights, that you just cuddled.

Sometimes, you swore he was waiting, waiting for you to be the one to close that final inch between you. But you never did. You couldn't bring yourself to do it.

Instead, you fell into a rhythm. Training. Fighting. Learning with him and laughing with him. He pushed you harder than anyone ever had, demanding perfection, never letting you slip back into old habits. He didn’t coddle you like they did. He didn’t pretend you were something delicate. He made you strong.

Most nights, after an exhausting day of training, you would sit on the brown leather couch cuddled up to him with your head on his chest and his arms around you, the dim glow of the television flickering between you. Slade wasn’t much for small talk, you talked enough for the both of you, but the silence between you felt... comfortable, almost warm

“Why did you take me in?” you had asked once, voice barely above a whisper.

He had taken a slow sip of his whiskey, eyes never leaving yours. “Because I saw something in you,” he finally answered. “Potential. Something you’re too afraid to admit to yourself.”

You wanted to argue, to tell him he was wrong, but deep down, you wondered if there was truth in his words. You liked that he believed in you, no one had done that before.

Then there were the other moments. The ones that made your chest tighten in ways you didn’t want to acknowledge. The way he stood too close when showing you how to hold a blade properly, his breath warm against your skin. The way his hands lingered too long when correcting your stance. The way his gaze dropped to your lips before he forced himself to look away.

Neither of you ever acknowledged it. You weren’t sure if you wanted to. It's completely normal for your teacher/mentor/enemy to sleep in the same bed as you every night. It'd be weird if you didn't make breakfast and dinner for the two of you. It'd be weird if you didn't know his favorite foods and if he didn't know how to braid your hair. It'd be even weirder if he didn't make you coffee exactly how you like it and help you put away the dishes.

Slade had become an inescapable presence, his control over you extending far beyond training. He knew where you were at all times, had a way of appearing when you least expected it, his eyes always sharp, always knowing. Some nights, when you tried to slip out for air, you’d find him already outside, leaning against a wall as if he’d been waiting for you. He let you do what you wanted, think you were free, but he was always watching you.

If you were singing at a bar, you could count on him to be in the crowd. If you met with Selina at a restaurant you could count on him to drive you home. Slade was always there. Selina thought it was strange, you took comfort in it.

“You really think you can go anywhere without me knowing?” he had mused once, a shadow of amusement in his voice.

It should have bothered you. Maybe it did. But part of you had started to crave it, the way he made you feel like you belonged to him, even if neither of you would ever admit it.

Slade had been… watchful lately. More than usual. He came back late from missions, missions he didn't let you come to, sometimes with a tension in his jaw that hadn’t been there before. He was hesitant to let you go and preform at bars, sometimes convincing you to just play the songs on your guitar in the living room and run your fingers through his hair as you both laid on the couch.

There were the calls—brief, coded. You were offended, Slade told you almost everything these days but somehow no amount of sweet talk and bedroom eyes could get him to budge this time. And then there were the other things. The subtle shifts in the city’s underworld. More movement in Gotham than usual. The quiet whispers of old ghosts stirring, names you hadn’t spoken in almost a year.

Dick. Jason. Tim. Damian. Bruce.

You saw it in the way certain streets had too many eyes. As if waiting. As if listening.

And then there was the whisper of something else. Something darker, something clawing at the edge of your awareness. A name that had once sent a thrill through you, now only bringing unease and resentment.

Harvey Dent.

A name you hadn’t spoken in months, yet it clung to you like a shadow you couldn’t shake. A man you couldn't bare to even think of. A drink left for you at a bar you hadn't performed at in weeks, a coat draped over the back of a chair that looked too familiar.

Slade noticed before you did. “You’ve got a ghost,” he murmured one evening, the flicker of a knife between his fingers. “One that doesn’t know how to stay buried.”

You didn’t ask him what he meant. You didn’t have to. You already knew. You just didn't know why. Had he finally seen through Tiffany, now that it was too late?

At first, you didn’t question it. Slade had always been territorial—watchful, overbearing when he wanted to be. He had a way of controlling things without seeming like he was. That was how he worked.

So when you first noticed the shifts, you didn’t react. Your schedule changed, but not because you changed it.

You used to go out when you wanted. Walk the streets when they were quiet, feel the Gotham night press against your skin, the air cold and sharp. Not anymore.

Things began to change this week. Now, every time you thought about leaving, something stopped you.

The fridge was always stocked, eliminating any reason to step outside. Your favorite food. Your favorite drinks. Little things appeared when you needed them; new clothes, supplies, anything that might have made you leave for even a moment. Things you mentioned only in passing, like the new lipstick you wanted or a pair of vintage heels or a new bag.

If you reached for your coat, Slade would speak before you even touched the door. Asking where you were going, trying to be casual.

It was never a command. Never outright control. But the implication was there. And every time you hesitated, he won. If you needed to leave or just wanted to go out, he would come with; a silent yet protective figure always in the shadows.

The night was quiet, the kind of stillness that should have been peaceful but wasn’t. The apartment smelled like old wood and gun oil, the faintest trace of smoke lingering from Slade’s cigar earlier. You had just stepped out of the shower, skin still warm from the heat, hair damp as you walked barefoot across the floor in your towel.

Your hand brushed against the pretty golden door knob absentmindedly.

And then you froze. Something was different.

Your fingers curled around the lock, tracing over the new ridges, the reinforced structure. The weight of it felt wrong.

It wasn’t your lock. Not the cute one you insisted on buying at the antique shop that Slade hated. It didn't match the walls.

Your stomach twisted. You turned slowly, your damp hair clinging to your skin as your mind raced. This wasn’t an accident. You hadn’t imagined it. Slade had changed the locks. The thought sent something icy down your spine. Alarm bells blared in your mind.

You tried to shake it off, tried to tell yourself it was nothing. Maybe it was security. Maybe he just wanted better protection.

But deep down, you knew that wasn’t it. Because he didn’t tell you. Because Slade never did anything without a purpose. Because Slade Wilson didn't need a lock to keep people out. And because you hadn’t noticed until now. You took a slow, steady breath and turned toward the living room.

Slade was there, like always, seated in his usual chair by the window, sharpening a knife. The sound of steel against whetstone was rhythmic, deliberate. His posture was relaxed, but you weren’t fooled. His fingers were too steady, his shoulders just a little too still.

He was waiting. Watching. Like he had already predicted this moment, like he was ready for an argeument. You leaned against the doorway, arms crossed, heart pounding too fast, not caring if you were in a towel.

"Planning on keeping me in a cage?" you muttered.

Slade didn’t pause. Didn’t even look up. “Planning on keeping you alive.” The words were so smooth, so easy, that your stomach turned.

Your breath caught. Because he wasn’t hiding it. He wasn't denying it. Not anymore. This wasn’t a mistake. This was intentional.

You forced a laugh, though it felt hollow in your throat. “Right. Because I’m just so incapable of keeping myself safe. Even after all the training we've done. Even with my literal super-human abilities.”

Slade finally looked up. His eye locked onto yours.

There was no humor in his gaze. No smirk, like he usually had on while teasing. Just that slow, assessing stare that made your pulse stutter.

"If I thought you were capable of that," he murmured, voice quiet, too quiet, "we wouldn’t be having this conversation."

Your chest tightened. Because the way he said it sent something sinking into the pit of your stomach. This wasn’t just about protecting you. This was about making sure you never left.

Two days later, you decided to test it. Just to see what would happen. Slade had stepped out—or so he wanted you to believe. The moment you heard the door shut behind him, you moved.

Your fingers curled around the knob.

Turned it— but a large, scared hand beat you two it

"Going somewhere?"

Your entire body locked up. You gulped and licked your suddenly dry lips, he had you cornered with one hand on the knob and the other caging you in as he towered over you. His voice was smooth, calm—too calm. You turned slowly, pulse thrumming in your throat. Slade stood right behind you.

The door was still closed.

Your heart stuttered. You hadn’t heard him come back. Hadn’t even realized he was there. So much for super hearing. Nothing worked on Slade Wilson. You kept your expression neutral. Didn’t let him see the panic creeping up your throat.

"Didn’t realize I had a curfew," you muttered with an uneasy grin, trying to start your usual banter. Slade didn’t smile. Didn’t smirk. Just watched you.

“You don’t.” He leaned against the wall, arms crossed. But he didn’t move. Didn’t step aside. Didn’t let you leave. The silence stretched too long.

Finally, you forced a smile, tilting your head. “Then I’ll be back in an hour.” Nothing changed in his expression. But you could feel the weight of his stare. Then he tilted his head, eye dark and calculating.

“It's not safe out there anymore. Not for you.”

You blinked. Something in his tone shifted.Not amusement. Not control. Something else. Something darker. Like he was waiting for you to figure it out.

Your stomach twisted. “What are you talking about?” He didn’t answer. Didn’t even move.

Just let the question hang in the air, stretching the silence tight between you. And that’s when it hit you.

He wasn’t stopping you because he was afraid you’d leave.

He was stopping you because something else was waiting outside.

Something he wasn’t telling you about.

Your mouth went dry. Slade finally let out a slow, amused breath, pushing off the wall.

And then—

He stepped aside. A challenge. Daring you to open the door. You hesitated. And that was all it took.

The moment you hesitated, you lost. Slade smirked, shaking his head like he had already predicted every move you would make. "Let's get to bed." He rasped out, looking at you with dark, seductive eyes.

And then he turned, walking past you like the conversation was over. Because it was. Because he knew you wouldn’t leave now.

The next morning, the locks changed again. The windows were reinforced. Your pretty pink curtains replaced with black shutters. Your phone stopped working. You couldn't call Selina. Every excuse to leave was removed before you could even think about it. You tried not to panic. Tried not to question it.

But Slade was closing the walls in. And you weren’t sure if it was to keep someone out—

Or to keep you in.

The first time, you thought it was a coincidence.

You had slipped into a bar down the street, needing to breathe, needing something normal.

The moment you stepped in, your stomach turned. Something familiar. Cologne. Not just any cologne. Expensive. Sharply tailored. The scent of whiskey and authority.

You froze.

Your mind screamed at you. It’s just someone else wearing it. It’s just your imagination. And then you saw it. A glass at the bar. Untouched. Neat. No ice. A double pour. your breath hitched.

Harvey’s drink.

It wasn’t until you came home that you truly realized. Because that’s when you saw the rose.

A single red rose on the kitchen counter.

Waiting for you. Your entire body went cold. It wasn’t from Slade. It couldn’t be from Slade. Slade would never bring you roses, he wasn't a gentleman. And he knew you liked hydrangeas and peonies now.

You turned slowly and nearly threw up.

Slade was already standing there. Watching. Waiting. His jaw was tight. His fingers twitched at his side. He didn’t say anything. And that’s when you knew,

He had seen this coming.

“Where did that come from?” you asked, voice thin. Why was he doing this? Was shattering your heart not enough? Did he want to ruin things with you and Slade?

Slade didn’t answer. Instead, he walked forward, plucked the rose from the counter, and rolled it between his fingers. Slowly. Deliberately. Then, he crushed it.

Your stomach dropped. The petals crumbled to the floor. His voice was dangerously calm. "You tell me, sweetheart."

For the rest of the night, he didn’t let you out of his sight. Not directly holding you hostage, but you felt it. The way he lingered in doorways. The way his hand ghosted too close when you passed him.

Like he was waiting. Waiting for you to ask. Waiting for you to figure it out. Waiting for Harvey to stop playing games and make a real move.

You weren’t sure when it had happened; when you had stopped keeping track of time, stopped caring about the difference between one night and the next. Slade made sure you had no reason to count the days. He made sure you had no reason to want anything. You woke up every morning in his arms and went to bed satisfied and well loved. It wasn’t a prison but it wasn’t freedom either. It was something in between. A limbo of his design. A small slice of heaven in hell.

You were happy. But something was off, Slade was being more paranoid and he got less subtle about it each day.

You weren’t trapped, not physically. Slade let you leave the apartment. You weren’t chained to the walls, weren’t locked in a room. He took you out on missions, let you get your hands dirty alongside him, let you breathe in the crisp Gotham air under the cover of night. In some ways, those nights were the only times you felt alive, other than when you were with Slade. The weight of a blade in your hand, the burn in your muscles from the chase, the sharp adrenaline rush of the fight, of using your powers on someone they affected; it reminded you that you still existed outside of this quiet game he played with you. Because that’s what it was. A game.

Slade never said it outright, never told you he was keeping you on a leash, but you could feel it tightening with every passing week. At first, it was small things. The way he subtly redirected missions away from Gotham’s city center, keeping you to the outskirts, where the shadows were deeper and the chances of running into familiar faces were slimmer. The way he always made sure you stayed close during a job, always just within arm’s reach. It wasn’t just protection. You knew better than that. It was control. He was testing you, waiting to see if you would try to slip away, if you would give him a reason to remind you just how easily he could pull you back.

You weren’t stupid. You knew the real test wasn’t in the field. It was what happened after.

After the job was done, after the adrenaline had settled into exhaustion, after the long, banter filled walk back to wherever Slade had decided to keep you that night. It was in the way he never let you wander too far. The way his hand would hover at the small of your back without quite touching, guiding you down the streets like he was the one who decided where you went. It was in the way he never left you alone for too long.

At first, you told yourself it was coincidence. Slade was always working, always had something that needed his attention. But then you started to notice the patterns. You ate together, you slept together, trained together, hell; you even showered together. You were never alone for more than a few hours. If he had business elsewhere, you were given something to occupy your time—training, surveillance, a task that kept you exactly where he wanted you.

You tested it once again, just to see what would happen. After he had left for what you thought was a routine meeting, you had grabbed your coat and made your way to the door. You weren’t even thinking about leaving him, not really. You just wanted to see if you could. If there was still a part of you that could step outside without feeling the weight of his presence pressing against you.

Your fingers had just curled around the doorknob when you heard his voice. Low. Even. Inevitable.

“Going somewhere?”

You were getting de ja vu. This happened last time too. You had swallowed hard, pulse spiking in your throat as you turned. He was standing right behind you.

You hadn’t heard the door open. Hadn’t heard his footsteps. He was just there, watching, waiting. The worst part was that he wasn’t even angry. He wasn’t trying to intimidate you, wasn’t raising his voice or blocking your way. He didn’t have to.

Slade had simply leaned against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, eye scanning you with that sharp, unreadable expression that made your stomach twist. “Didn’t realize I needed permission,” you had said, forcing your voice to stay steady. You wouldn't let him control everything, not another man would be in charge of your life.

“You don’t.” He tilted his head slightly, studying you like you were a puzzle he had already solved. “Just wondering if you really think it’s safe out there.”

Not this odd shit again.

That made you pause. The way he said it. Not like a threat. Not like he was trying to scare you into staying. He said it the same way as last time. Like he already knew something you didn’t.

Your grip on the doorknob tightened. “What are you talking about? You said this last time.”

Slade didn’t answer right away. He just let the silence stretch, let you feel the weight of your own hesitation. Then, slowly, he took a step back. Another challenge.

“If you want to go,” he said, gesturing toward the door, “go.”

Your breath caught. You should have. You should have walked out.

But you didn’t.

Because you knew that if you did, if you stepped outside now, you wouldn’t just be walking into Gotham. You would be walking into something else. Something waiting.

Slade knew it. And now, so did you.

You swallowed hard, stepping back from the door. Slade huffed a quiet laugh, shaking his head like you had just proven his point. Then, without another word, he walked past you and disappeared into the other room. That was the moment you knew, whatever was waiting for you out there was worse than what was waiting inside. You just didn’t know what it was yet.

You found out a week later. A part of it, at least.

The envelope was waiting for you when you returned from a job with Slade, slipped under the apartment door like a whisper of something you had tried to forget. You had bent down, fingers hesitating just for a second before picking it up. The paper was thick, expensive. No return address. No markings. But you didn’t have to open it to know who it was from. The sharp smell of cologne gave it away.

Your stomach twisted, nausea rising in the back of your throat as you tore it open, your hands gripping the edges a little too tightly. The letter inside was simple. Only four words.

You won't forget me.

Your breath hitched. Your hands trembled. Because the worst part was, he was right. No matter how much Slade consumed you, or your occasional fantasy about Clark; he also stayed on your mind

You barely had time to process it before you heard the apartment door shut behind you. Your fingers snapped the letter closed, chest tightening, but it was too late.

Slade had already seen.

His expression didn’t change, but you could feel it. The shift in the air. The way his shoulders set just a little too still, the way his single eye flickered from your face to the envelope with something dark and unreadable. He stepped forward, not rushing, just closing the distance between you with the kind of inevitability that made your breath come short.

You turned, but before you could move, his hand shot out. Not rough, not gentle like usual, just firm. His fingers wrapped around your wrist, halting you in place.

“Let go,” you muttered, voice barely above a whisper.

He didn’t.

Instead, he reached for the letter.

You pulled back.

Slade’s grip tightened. “Let me see,” he said, his voice low, controlled. He wasn't used to you denying him these days, not when you loved him.

Your stomach clenched. You didn’t let go, but it didn’t matter. Because Slade never asked twice.

With one sharp tug, he tore the letter from your grasp, unfolding it with a lazy flick of his wrist. You watched as his eye scanned the words, his jaw tensing, his fingers tightening around the paper just slightly.

Then, finally, a quiet chuckle. A dark, amused sound. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

Your breath hitched. Slade looked at you now. Expression unreadable.

“Do you miss him?” Your heart stopped. You denied it, but you could see in Slade's eyes that he didn't believe you. In the way he turned away from you that night. You didn't blame him, you didn't even believe yourself.

Harvey always knew how to play the long game.

Small things began to shift in your life and you knew who was behind it. The song on the radio. A scarf. A photo photo. They were never coincidences, he didn’t believe in coincidence. The man was calculated, meticulous in his pursuits. When he wanted something, he played patient, steady, unyielding, watching from the shadows, striking when you least expected it.

Slade was the same way, but Slade never needed patience. Slade took what he wanted. Harvey waited for it to come back to him.

The jazz playing in the bar was nothing, just white noise in the background while you sat beside Slade, nursing your drink, your head still fogged from the last mission. You weren’t thinking of anything other than how good it felt to finally sit still.

Then, days later, the scarf appeared. Neatly folded on the couch, like a gift wrapped in silence, waiting for you to pick it up. You hadn’t touched it at first, just stood there, staring at it, fingers twitching at your sides. It was a trick of the mind, an old memory manifesting in a way that didn’t make sense.

Except it wasn’t.

He had been here. Or close enough to touch. You should have told Slade. But you didn’t. You couldn’t. And then, the photo. A photo Selina took of you and him dancing at the Pink Pony Club. It smelled like him too.

That was what shattered the illusion of security, the idea that you had control over this. The moment you saw it, you knew.

Harvey had always been a sentimentalist, clinging to memories long past, treasuring things most people would discard.

You, once upon a time, had been one of those things. And now? You weren’t sure. You weren't sure what he wanted, especially since he had Tiffany. You had placed the photo down carefully, afraid to crumple it, afraid to acknowledge what it meant.

You had kept your movements neutral, your breath steady, but Slade had been watching. His presence in the other room was a solid weight pressing into your chest. The shuffle of files, the slow deliberate sound of metal being set down, he was waiting.

He had noticed. Of course, he had. Slade noticed everything. And yet, he didn’t say a word.

You lay awake that night, staring at the ceiling, feeling Slade’s presence next to you like a silent storm waiting to break. He wasn’t asking. He was waiting for you to give yourself away. To tell him the truth, to trust him like he trusted you.

Slade had been watching you too closely, keeping his invisible leash tight without ever pulling. That was the way he worked, he let you think you had freedom while keeping you within his reach. If you had tried to leave through the door, he would have known.

So, you didn’t.

You waited, feigned sleep, forced your breathing into something slow, even, something convincing. You heard him move in the other room, heard the creak of his chair, the slow inhale of a cigar.

You moved the moment he shifted. Window, not the door. Silent steps. A fire escape that groaned beneath your weight. By the time Slade glanced back toward the couch, you were already gone.

Harvey knew you would come.

You knew that from the moment you stepped onto the rooftop, the Gotham skyline stretched out behind him like a kingdom.

He turned before you could say anything, a slow, easy movement, his face shadowed beneath the dim glow of the streetlights. And then, he smiled. Not a smirk. Not the sharp, dangerous grin you had been expecting. It was something softer. Something more desperate. Like a man in the desert coming across a well.

“Took you long enough, didn't think you got my message. I started thinking that maybe the note didn't reach you.” he murmured. The message he left in the women's bathroom at a bar you and Slade frequented.

Your throat felt tight. You felt hurt all over again. Like someone reopened the wound of his betrayal. Like the same broken girl Slade took in six months ago. You came here for closure. So that it wouldn't hurt when you said his name or sang the songs you wrote for him. “How did you find me?”

What did he want? To torture you? Rub salt in your wounds?

Harvey exhaled sharply, shaking his head. “Sweetheart, I never lost you.”

Only Slade called you that now. The words made your stomach twist, a cold knot settling in your chest. You should have walked away then. But you didn’t. Because you had to know.

“Why are you doing this? Why are you haunting me? Not letting me move on?” Your voice shook as you said it. This conversation was long overdue.

Harvey’s fingers gripped the railing, his knuckles white. “Because I need you to listen to me. Just once. Just this once. Hear me out.”

Your heart hammered. Hear him out? He could've started with an apology.

“You think I’ll forgive you?” you spat. You would, because when you looked at him, you still felt the same warmth you did all those months ago; only this time it was mixed with resentment and longing.

He flinched. And for the first time, you saw it—the raw, desperate emotion that he had always hidden behind sharp words and confident grins. The mask cracked, just for a second.

His voice turned rough, unsteady. “I don’t deserve forgiveness. I know that. But I need you to hear me out.”

You shook your head, stepping back, but he reached out—not touching, not yet, but close.

“You don’t know what’s happening,” he continued, his voice dropping into something urgent, pleading. “Your family—Tim, Dick, all of them—they’re figuring it out. They’re finding out the truth about Tiffany. They'll realize what she's doing, like I did.They'll know soon, maybe not today or tomorrow; but soon. They'll realize she's been using her powers on them like she did to me.”

Your breath came too short. No. This was not happening. Not when you were finally happy again. Not when you think you've fallen in love with Slade.

“No,” you whispered.

Your vision blurred. It was happening. Everything you had tried to scream about for years, everything they had ignored, it was going to come to light. Harvey’s fingers brushed your wrist.

Soft. Careful. Like he was trying not to scare you away.

“And when they realize what they did to you,” he murmured, “they’re going to come running. Crawling back like I am.”

Your stomach twisted.

“They’re going to act like they care,” he continued, voice soft, insidious. “Like they’re sorry. But they’re not. Not like I am. You know that, don’t you?”

Your lips parted. You hated how much sense it made. Hated how deep the doubt had already burrowed into your skin. Hated how genuine and honest he was being, you could sense it. Harvey tilted his head.

And then, voice lower, almost fragile he said, “You don’t have to go back to them.”

Your stomach dropped. You stepped back. “I’m not going back,” you said, voice shaking. Never.

Harvey swallowed hard. And for a moment, you thought he might break, that the weight of what he had done, what he had lost, might finally crush him. But then, he looked at you.

And you saw it, the shift. The danger. Not Two-Face. Not the cold, calculated criminal.

Just Harvey Dent. The man who never let go. “You think you’re free?” he murmured.

The words sent a chill down your spine. Harvey smiled, but it wasn’t kind. “You think he just let you leave?”

Your chest tightened. You tried not to show the flicker of doubt, the small crack in your resolve. But Harvey saw it.

And then, voice so soft, so dangerous—“He’s not going to let you go either. He'll keep you locked up. I won't.”

You should have never gone to him.

You had known it was a mistake the second you saw him standing there, leaning against the rooftop railing, the glow of Gotham’s skyline making him look almost human.

But you had gone anyway. Because Harvey had always been a mistake you kept making.

You clenched your fists, how dare he talk about Slade? What right did he have to tell you who to trust. "Yeah and I'm gonna take advice from you. That's rich."

He softened immediately, his regret and remorse so obvious; yet he refused to apologize. You wanted to hit him, hurt him like he hurt you; yet when he stood in front of you in the moonlight, your treacherous heart still beat for him. Your heart didn't want to hurt the man who showed you what love is. The man who picked up the shattered pieces your family and Clark left and rearranged them beautifully. It didn't care that he broke them again; he could fix it.

“I made a mistake. I paid for it, I know the truth now.” He said steadily stepping closer, sensing your reluctance.

Your pulse pounded. “What do you want from me?” You were here for answers, not to rekindle an old flame. Not when you were starting one.

Harvey exhaled sharply, shaking his head. “Nothing from you. ”

The words hit you too hard. You understood what he was implying, what he wanted. You knew he would come crawling back someday, you just didn't expect it so soon

You clenched your jaw, forcing yourself to keep your voice steady. “Why?”

His smile faltered. His hands curled around the railing, gripping it like he needed something solid to hold on to.

"You know why. But that's not what i called you for. I called you to warn you about your family and Tiffany,” he said, his voice lower now, rougher. More desperate. “I can throw them off for a little while, lead them off track and make sure they don't know the truth. If that's what you want. But once they know the truth, they won't leave you alone. Certainly not with him.”

You hated the way your chest tightened with affection at his consideration. You hated that you were here. You hated that he still had a hold on you. You hated how he talked about Slade. You hated hearing him say Tiffany's name, it brought back so much hurt and hatred.

“I don't care about them Keep them away for as long as you want. You know I'm not here to hear about them or your whore.” you said viciously, your eyes shining and your teeth sharpening.

Slade would be proud.

Harvey didn't react to your fangs, he wasn't afraid of you. He came closer and grasped your hand, his eyes so heartbroken that it gave you satisfaction, only for a minute.

His voice cracked slightly. “Nothing I do or say can make up for what I did.” His jaw tightened. “I know that.”

You should have walked away. But you didn’t. Because Harvey’s voice dropped lower, his words curling around you like a trap you should have seen coming. “But I need you to know something,” he whispered.

You swallowed hard. He stepped closer, slow and deliberate, watching your reaction. “She wanted to be you, she tried so hard.”

Your breath hitched. You knew this. But hearing Harvey say it made you feel so much better.

Harvey’s voice was soft, almost reverent. “But she never could.”

Your stomach dropped. Why did this have to happen now? Why now when you finally forgot about him?

“She dressed like you,” he continued. “Talked like you. Watched the way you moved. The way you laughed.” His voice hardened. “The way you loved.”

You shook your head, backing away. You couldn't take this anymore. You wanted to run back into Slade's arms, where nothing could touch you. “Shut up.”

Harvey didn’t.

“She wanted to take everything from you.” His expression twisted. “And maybe, if I had been a different man, I would have let her.”

Your skin crawled at the thought. Harvey let out a breathless laugh, bitter and sharp. “But I couldn’t. I had to go digging, looking for clues.”

His hands clenched at his sides. “Because she wasn’t you. No matter how hard she tried to be. No matter how much she played with my mind, she could never replace you.”

You hated him.

You hated that you believed him.

You hated how you still loved him.

Harvey exhaled sharply, tilting his head, watching you with something frighteningly raw. “Every time she touched me, every time she tried to take something that wasn’t hers—” his voice dropped into something dangerous, low and dark and broken— “I was thinking of you.”

Your breathing came too fast.

Harvey stepped closer.

“Every time I kissed her,” he whispered, “I wanted it to be you.”

You squeezed your eyes shut. “Stop. I don't care.” Lies.

“She wasn’t you,” he repeated, voice almost pleading. “She never could be.”

Your throat closed. Your eyes watered and your teeth burned with unshed venom just thinking of his betrayal. Why was this happening.

Harvey’s fingers ghosted over your wrist. Not touching, not quite.

“I never wanted her, not really” he murmured. “Not once.”

Silence stretched between you, thick and suffocating. This was all you wanted to hear, all you wished for for so long. So why did you feel trapped. Harvey’s voice dropped even lower. He moved even closer

“Tell me, sweetheart.”

You forced yourself to look at him.

“If you don’t care,” he whispered, eyes burning, “why are you still here? Why do you want answers so bad? Why do you still look at me like that?”

You shouldn’t have come.

But you hadn’t been able to help yourself.

Because Harvey always knew what to say, how to linger in your mind like an open wound that refused to heal.

And now here you were, standing under the dim glow of the rooftop’s city lights, your eyes watering, the weight of his gaze pressing into you, sinking into your bones like something familiar, something dangerous.

You forced yourself to keep your stance steady, your pulse even. “You don’t get to ask me those questions.”

Harvey let out a breath, almost a chuckle, but there was no humor in it. His hands curled around the railing as he moved away from you again, gripping the cold metal like it was the only thing keeping him from reaching for you.

“Do you know how many times I told myself you were gone? That I lost you, ” His voice was steady now, but there was an edge to it—something dangerous. “How many times I tried to let you go, to let you move on?”

Your chest tightened. You weren’t sure if it was anger or something else, something more dangerous. “I didn’t ask you to wait for me. I didn't want you to regret your choice. I didn't want anything but happiness for you. No matter how much you hurt me.”

Harvey’s fingers twitched.

“No.” His lips pressed together in a thin line, he knew the truth, that you always wished the best for him. “No, you didn’t.”

The wind curled between you, cold and sharp, carrying the weight of everything unsaid. You should have turned away. Should have walked back the way you came.

But then Harvey laughed, a bitter, broken sound.

“She used her little snake charm but somehow,” he continued, “after a week I was thinking of you. I never loved her. Couldn't even bring myself to like her, honestly.”

Your stomach dropped. It was a gut punch, sharp and unforgiving. He saw it—the flicker of emotion in your face, the tightening of your jaw, the way your breathing caught for just a second too long.

And Harvey, Two-Face, the man who never let go, moved forward, voice soft, eyes burning.

“I love you,” he murmured. “I never stopped loving you”

Your fingers curled into fists at your sides. “Shut up.”

He ignored you. Again.

“I love you so much,” he said, voice low. “You love me too or you wouldn't be here.”

“I said shut up.” He was right, he always is.

Harvey smirked, but there was nothing victorious in it. It was almost self-loathing.

“I never loved her,” he whispered again. He was making sure you knew.

“She wanted me to,” he continued. “She wanted to take everything from you.” His jaw tightened. “And maybe, if you had been a different woman, I would have let her.”

The thought of it made your skin crawl.

Harvey, Tiffany. Together. The ultimate betrayal.

“But I couldn’t.” His voice cracked slightly. “Because she wasn’t you.”

He kept repeating it, trying to speak his remorse into your heart directly. You hated how much it affected you. Hated how your chest ached, how your mind burned with the thought of what could have been. You shouldn’t care. But you did. And Harvey knew it.

“You’re lying,” you whispered, forcing steel into your voice. “You used her, just like she used you. You wanted to spy on Bruce and I wouldn't do it.”

Harvey let out a sharp breath. “Yeah.” His eyes met yours. Unflinching. “I did.”

There was no shame in his voice. Just cold, simple truth. No regret anymore. He didn't regret using her, he regretted hurting you.

“But it wasn’t revenge, sweetheart,” he murmured, his Gotham accent slipping in the angrier he got. “It was survival. She had me under her little spell at first; when that stopped working, her little dream team made sure I never stepped outta line. Never came crawling back to you, never told anyone the truth. But I'm done with them now.”

Your heartbeat pounded in your ears. Harvey stepped closer.

“Every time I kissed her, every time I played along, I was thinking of you.” His voice dipped, lower, darker. More desperate. “Every time I called her by her name, I wanted to say yours.”

Your breathing came too fast. This wasn’t fair. Harvey was not supposed to be able to do this to you. Not anymore. He was supposed to be dead to you. He had killed himself in your mind the day he let himself be used, the day he betrayed you.

And yet—

Yet.

You couldn’t move.

Because deep down, a part of you knew—you had thought of him, too. When you weren't with Slade, Harvey consumed your thoughts.

Your stomach twisted as he stepped closer again. “You’re smart, sweetheart,” he whispered. “You always were. Choose carefully.”

You swallowed hard. This wasn't about your family anymore. This was about him and Slade.

“You don’t have to go back to them.” He repeated himself again trying to convince you. His words settled in your bones, heavy, unshakable.

You clenched your jaw again. “I wasn’t planning on it.”

Harvey’s eyes flickered, something dark and pleased curling at the edges. And then, voice low, almost dangerous, “Then why are you still with him?”

Your breath hitched. Slade. Your body went rigid.

Harvey took another step closer. Your noses almost touched and you nearly threw yourself into his arms.

“You think he's better than me?”

Your chest tightened. Doubt crept in. You had been so careful. So quiet. Hadn’t you? Harvey saw it. And he smiled.

A slow, knowing smirk. “He’s not going to let you go, he won't give you a choice. I don't blame the man, if I hadn't fucked everything up; I wouldn't let you go either.”

Your stomach dropped. The realization hit you all at once, suffocating, crushing. You hadn’t been careful. You had been playing into Slade’s hands all along.

Because Slade always knew. And if he hadn’t stopped you?

That meant he was letting you dig your own grave. A shiver ran through you.

The moment Harvey’s voice dipped, the second his fingers ghosted over your wrist like a lover’s touch—you should have walked away. But you didn’t. Because part of you needed to hear him say it. Needed to hear him tell you what you already knew.

That he still wanted you. That he never stopped. That you were never meant to be replaced. And it felt amazing to hear the regret in his voice and see the pure longing in his eyes.

The wind curled between you, cold and biting, but Harvey’s presence was stiflingly warm. He was watching you the way he always had; like you belonged to him, like the months between you hadn’t changed a thing. And for the first time all night, you let yourself look at him.

Really look at him.

The scars on the left side of his face had deepened, his two-toned gaze more piercing than before. The weight he carried in his shoulders was heavier, more defined. He was still Harvey, but he wasn’t just Harvey anymore. He had become something darker, something rough around the edges, something broken in a way that made you feel like a piece of you had broken along with him.

You swallowed. “I have to go.” Before you did something you couldn't take back.

Harvey exhaled, slow and deliberate. He nodded, but he didn’t move. He didn’t stop you. But he wasn’t letting you go, either.

“You’re going back to him.” It wasn’t a question. A statement, like he knew it was coming

Your pulse stuttered. “It’s not like that and you know it.” You still felt the need to defend yourself, even though you knew you didn't owe him an explanation.

You still loved him, that much was clear.

Harvey let out a quiet, humorless laugh. “Sure it isn’t.”

You took a step back. He didn’t reach for you, didn’t say anything to stop you, but his presence curled around you like a shadow, wrapping itself around your spine, keeping you anchored in place. And then his voice dropped. Low. Certain.

“I’m letting you walk away. But I'm not letting you go. Not when we still love each other.”

Your throat tightened. He wasn’t chasing you. Not yet. But you felt it. The promise in his voice. The inevitability. You didn’t respond.

You didn't deny that you still loved him, it was like a child insisting they didn't eat cookies when they have crumbs all over them.

You just turned and forced yourself to walk away.

The apartment was silent when you returned. Slade was waiting, seated in his chair, drink in hand, legs spread, glaring at the walls. He didn’t turn when you entered. Didn’t move when you stepped further inside, carefully shutting the door behind you. You weren’t sure if that was better or worse.

You slipped off your shoes, moving slowly, watching him, waiting. Nothing. No reaction. Just that unshakable stillness. The kind that had always been more dangerous than his anger.

You took a steadying breath. If you didn't speak first, he wouldn't speak at all. “Slade—”

“I knew you’d come back.”

His voice cut through the room, sharp and even. Your fingers curled at your sides. “Of course I came back.”

Now, he looked at you. Finally. And when he did, it felt like a blow. That single eye, cold and assessing, swept over you, taking in every detail, every movement, every breath you tried to keep steady. Then, his lips curved. Slow. Controlled.

“Did he tell you what you wanted to hear? Make you want to run into his loving arms again?”

Your stomach dropped. You didn’t let it show. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Slade exhaled through his nose, the faintest huff of amusement. “Don’t insult me.”

Your jaw tightened. Silence stretched between you, heavy and charged. You weren’t sure if you were waiting for him to snap, or if he was waiting for you to confess. Then, finally—Slade leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, hands clasped together, voice lowering into something dangerous.

“Tell me something,” he said lowly.

You didn’t move. “What?”

Slade tilted his head, watching you like he was already playing out the end of this game. “Did you hesitate?”

The words hit harder than they should have. You swallowed. You could lie. You could tell him what he wanted to hear. But it wouldn’t matter. Slade always knew. And that was the worst part.

Slade was quiet for too long. Then—he sighed. Tired. Expectant. And that was worse than anger. You hated when he treated you like this, so indifferent. You liked his anger better, at least then you could get a reaction out of him.

“Take off your coat,” he said. You hesitated. Slade’s expression didn’t shift. “Now.”

Slowly, carefully, you did as he asked, slipping the fabric from your shoulders, letting it drop onto the chair beside you. Slade’s eye flickered toward it. Then, back to you.

You weren’t sure what he was looking for. Maybe he was looking for something Harvey left behind. Something you didn’t even realize you had carried home with you.

Then, after a long pause—Slade smirked. And it wasn’t kind like the ones you've grown accustomed to.

“You don’t even realize it, do you?”

You stiffened. “Realize what?”

Slade leaned back again, completely relaxed. Like he had already won. “You'll know soon.”

Your breath caught. Where was he going with this? You hated when he spoke like some ancient being and he knew that. He was gonna be insufferable these next few days; he always is when you do something he doesn't like.

“Doesn’t matter where you go,” he continued, his voice so damn certain. His smirk widened, mocking. “You’ll always come back to me.”

Your chest tightened. You hated him. Because he was right. He knew you hated it, too.

You lay awake that night. Not because you couldn’t sleep. Not because Slade was in the other room, making you sleep alone for the first time in months, still awake, waiting, watching, knowing.

But because you couldn’t shake the way Harvey had looked at you before you left. Not angry. Not resentful. Just patient and remorseful. Like he already knew something you didn't.

Slade never brought it up again. Not directly. You weren’t sure if that was worse. You weren't sure if you wanted him to scream at you and demand you never see Harvey Dent again. You would rather anger than the silent treatment.

He didn’t demand answers. He didn’t press the issue. He simply carried on as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn’t watched you walk through the door smelling like another man’s presence.

That should have been a relief. But it wasn’t. Because Slade didn’t let things go. He let them fester.

It was in the way he touched you now, more deliberate, more possessive. The way his hands lingered a little too long on your waist when he passed you in the kitchen, the way his fingers grazed your wrist, as if reminding you that you were still there, still his.

It was in the way he watched you. He had always been observant, but now it was different. Sharper. He wasn’t just looking at you, he was reading you.

Every twitch of your fingers. Every slight shift in your breathing. Every time you looked over your shoulder without realizing it. You had brought something back from that rooftop, and Slade knew it.

And still, he said nothing. Instead, he tightened his hold.

It was late. The apartment was quiet, but neither of you were asleep. Your back pressed into the cool sheets, heartbeat steady but too aware of the man beside you. It'd been three days since Harvey and Slade was finally sleeping next to you again, but you knew he wasn't truly letting things go.

Slade’s fingers traced slow circles against your wrist, his grip loose but present. “You haven’t been sleeping,” he murmured.

You exhaled, shifting slightly beneath his hold. “And you have?”

A quiet chuckle. “I sleep when I need to.”

You turned your head, meeting his gaze in the dim light of the bedroom. “And when do you need to?” You missed teasing him.

Slade’s smirk was lazy, knowing. “Whenever you’re not around to keep me entertained.”

You rolled your eyes, but he didn’t let you pull away. His grip tightened, just enough to remind you he was there.

“You think too much,” he murmured, voice lower now. “Keeps you restless.”

“Maybe I like thinking,” you shot back booping his nose. You lived to annoy him, to push his buttons in a way only you could get away with.

Slade hummed, shifting to prop himself up on his elbow, still watching you. His fingers trailed down your arm, you would've though he was trying to start something if his movements weren't so slow and calculated.

“What are you thinking about now?” He said reeling you into his trap, his eyes hard. You hated when he tried to trap you. Your pulse skipped. Nothing you said would be the right answer.

Slade’s lips quirked up slightly, but there was something in his expression—something darker, something expectant.

“You can say it,” he mused. “Say his name.”

You were tempted to do it, moan Harvey's name just to piss him off, but that was a line even you knew not to cross. You rolled your eyes, "God, just let it go Slade. It wasn't important."

Why couldn't he just let this go? Slade smirked, mocking. “That’s what I thought.”

You didn’t break his gaze. Didn’t look away. Because he knew. He always knew. Nothing goes over Slade Wilson's head.

The next morning, you woke up to a message. Not a text. Not a voicemail. A gift.

The small wooden box sat on the kitchen counter, neat, precise. Like it had been waiting for you. Your blood ran cold. You hadn’t heard anyone come in. You hadn’t even felt him. But Harvey had been here. You swallowed, fingers brushing over the lid before carefully lifting it open.

Inside was a single playing card.

The Two of Hearts.

And beneath it—folded carefully, as if it was meant to be unwrapped like some kind of sentimental treasure—was the same scarf he had left before.

Except this time, there was something else. Perfume. Your perfume. It smelled like you and him. Like Harvey had held onto it. Like he had kept it close. Your stomach twisted.

Harvey had been here. And you hadn’t even noticed.

Your fingers curled around the edge of the box, breath coming a little too sharp, too shallow. The walls of the apartment felt smaller. You didn’t hear Slade approach, but you felt him before he spoke.

His voice was smooth, dangerous. “Something I should know about?”

You forced yourself to breathe. “No.”

Slade leaned against the counter, eyeing the box like he already knew exactly who it was from. And then—he laughed. A quiet, amused sound, as if this was a game he had already won. “I should have killed him when I had the chance,” he said, in the same tone some used when regretting not buying a book before it sold out.

Your stomach dropped. Slade tilted his head, eye still locked on you. “But you wouldn’t have liked that, would you?”

You said nothing.

Slade smirked, shaking his head. “Soft spot for old flames.” He reached out, fingers brushing your wrist. “That’s your problem.”

You clenched your jaw, jerking your arm away. “And what’s yours?”

Slade’s gaze darkened. “I don’t have problems.”

You let out a breathless, humorless laugh. Always with the tough guy persona, honestly it must be tiring always acting untouchable. “Right. Sorry, I forgot. Because you don’t feel anything.”

Slade didn’t respond right away. He just looked at you, unreadable. His hand reached for your jaw, firm, demanding. His thumb traced your cheek, slow, deliberate. And when he spoke, his voice was quiet.

“I feel plenty.” You swallowed. Slade smirked. “You just don’t like what I feel.”

You stepped back before you could do something stupid. Something that would make you forget about the box on the counter, the scent of Harvey still lingering in the air. Something that would make you forget that you weren’t sure who you were more afraid of losing.

Your phone wouldn’t stop buzzing. Harvey was right. They were going to find out the full truth soon. And when they did, they would come for you.

Now, a week after your meeting with him, your phone wouldn't stop buzzing. Message after message, call after call, each one from Tim Drake-Wayne. All asking you questions about Tiffany, about yourself. About where you were.

Your breath caught in your throat as you scrolled through the texts, hands shaking, stomach twisting itself into knots so tight you thought you might be sick. Of course Tim was the first to figure out something was wrong. He was about five years too late though.

Tim: We need to talk. Please answer. I have questions. About Tiffany..

You could barely breathe. He wanted to investigate, to look deep into Tiffany. Now?

Now, after years of pushing you aside, after ignoring every cry for help, now he wanted to take your warnings seriously.

Your eyes burned, fingers tightening around the phone, your mind screaming at you to respond, to finally say all the things you’d held in your chest for too long.

But you didn’t. Instead, you turned the phone off. You shoved it under the pillow, pressing the heels of your hands into your eyes, trying to push away the tears, trying to ignore the way your chest ached with something ugly and desperate.

The moment you walked out of the bedroom, you knew he had seen.

Slade was leaning against the kitchen counter, arms crossed over his chest, gaze heavy with something unreadable. The phone was still buzzing beneath the pillow in the other room, and somehow, you knew he had heard it.

He had been waiting for this. You swallowed, standing stiffly near the doorway, trying to pretend like everything was fine. Slade didn’t say anything at first. He just watched.

“Took him long enough,” he mused, his voice casual, controlled.

You rolled your eyes. He's been bitchy ever since the whole Harvey thing.

Slade’s eye flickered to your hands, still clenched at your sides. “And let me guess—you ignored him.”

You hated how easily he could see through you. You glared at him, jaw tight. “None of your business.”

Slade chuckled, shaking his head, pushing off the counter and closing the distance between you in slow, measured steps.

“Oh, sweetheart.” His voice was lower now, smoother, curling around your spine like a threat disguised as affection. “Everything about you is my business.”

You tensed. Slade reached up, tracing a gloved finger along your cheek, tilting your chin up slightly, forcing you to meet his gaze.

“He’ll keep calling,” he murmured. “He’ll keep begging. He'll figure it out and tell the rest of the little squad and they'll all come running back. Just like your dear old Dent. ” His lips curled into something mocking. “That’s what they do, isn’t it? Make mistakes because they know you'll forgive them?"

You tried to pull away, but his grip tightened. Not to hurt you, just enough to remind you who was in control.

His thumb brushed over your lips, slow, deliberate. “What are you gonna do?”

Your breath hitched. Slade leaned in slightly, voice dropping even lower. Dangerous. “Do you want Tim to tell the others? Want your family back? Want him back? Even after he fucked your sister while you were lying sick in your bed?”

Your throat tightened. He was toying with you. Mocking you, trying to hurt you. Making you say it. And you didn’t want to say it. Because you didn’t know. Your family had been your world.For so long, all you wanted was to be seen.

To be loved.

To be something more than just a ghost standing in the background, watching them fawn over someone who had stolen everything from you. And Harvey gave that to you, before he betrayed you.

And now, he was sorry. Soon, they would all know the truth and be sorry.

The emotions clawed at your throat.

You wanted to scream at Tim. Tell him it was too late. Tell them that he could never fix this. No amount of investigating and apologies could make up for years of neglect.

But another part of you, the part that still ached for their love, the part that still wanted them to prove you wrong,

That part whispered, “What if?” What if when they found out the truth, they would love you? What if this time, they actually stayed?

What if this was your chance to finally have the family you always wanted?

The war inside your head made you dizzy. And Slade knew it. He was still holding you, still keeping you rooted to him, while your world spun out of control. After a long, suffocating silence, Slade finally sighed. “You’re a mess.”

You glared at him, pushing away from his grip. “Fuck you.”

Slade chuckled, unfazed. “You do it almost every night.”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes, "You're a child, you know that?"

You turned away, grabbing a glass from the counter, hands still shaking slightly as you filled it with water. You weren’t thirsty, but you needed something—anything—to keep yourself grounded.

Slade leaned against the counter again, watching you with amusement, but something deeper lurked beneath it. Then, in a voice so casual it almost didn’t register, “I’ll make him stop. I'll make them both stop.”

The glass almost slipped from your fingers. You turned sharply, eyes wide. “What?”

Slade shrugged, like it was nothing. “You don’t want to deal with them. You don’t want to make a decision. So I’ll make it for you.”

Your breath caught. Slade never dealt with things peacefully, he got rid of problems permanately. “You can’t just—”

“I can.” His smirk deepened. “And I will.”

Your stomach twisted. Because the worst part was; you weren’t sure if you were relieved or horrified. Because Slade was right. You didn’t want to make a choice. You wanted someone to do it for you.

And Slade was more than happy to take that burden.

The first thing you noticed the next morning was the silence. No more buzzing. No more messages lighting up your screen. Slade had done it.

He hadn’t waited for you to argue. Hadn’t given you the choice. By the time you checked your phone, every number had been blocked. Every contact erased like they had never existed at all.

And maybe that’s what Slade wanted.

For them to be nothing but ghosts in your past. A clean break. A fresh start. So why did it feel like your chest was splitting open?

You had spent years craving their attention. Years begging for even a scrap of love. And now? Now you had the chance to get it. And you ignored it. You told yourself it didn’t matter. That you didn’t need them. That you had spent too long chasing something that was never meant to be yours.

And yet, as you stood in the quiet of the apartment, phone gripped too tight in your hands, you ached. Because you had wanted them to fight for you.

Slade had left that morning, his usual teasing smirk in place, but there had been something off.

Maybe it was the fact that his mission was dragging out longer than expected.

Maybe it was the way his fingers had lingered under your chin before he left, thumb brushing over your jaw like he was making sure you were still his.

Or maybe it was the way he had muttered, “Be good while I’m gone, sweetheart.” as you kissed him goodbye.

Like he already knew you wouldn’t be. Like he already knew something was coming. The apartment felt too big without him. His absence wasn’t something you should have noticed.

But you did.

It was in the empty space beside you when you sat on the couch. The extra portion of dinner you made out of habit. The lack of footsteps behind you. The missing weight of his presence pressing against your world, keeping you safe.

It was the first time in months you had been truly alone. So you did the only thing you could think of.

You took a nice, long, hot, shower, trying to dull the ache below your hips. You and Slade had sex last night, but somehow you were already wanting more. It was like your body could sense his absense.

You stood under the hot water, letting the steam curl around your skin, letting the heat scald away the thoughts clawing at your mind.

Maybe Slade was right. Maybe it was easier to just let go.

There was a sound. Soft. Distant. A creak where there shouldn’t be one. You wouldn't have heard it, wouldn't have sensed the body heat if you didn't have your powers. Your heart stopped. You turned off the water immediately, listening.

Nothing.

Maybe it was just—

Another creak. Closer this time. You swallowed, pulse hammering, every nerve in your body screaming at you that something was wrong. Slade was gone.

No one should be here. But you weren’t alone.

The second you stepped out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around your damp skin, fangs reader and a knife in your hand, you felt him.

The shift in the air. The weight of someone watching. And then, his voice.

“Gotta admit,” Harvey mused, voice smooth, mocking, as if he had any right to be angry “didn’t think you’d be the type to shack up with a guy like him.”

Your stomach dropped. You turned sharply, eyes darting across the room, breath catching in your throat when you saw him.

Sitting on your bed. On Slade’s bed.

Harvey was leaning back against the headboard, one leg crossed over the other, looking far too comfortable. Like he belonged there. Like he wasn’t the intruder in this equation.

Harvey sat there like he hadn’t broken in, hadn’t shattered what little peace you had left. The moment you stepped out of the shower, still dripping, wrapped only in a towel, you knew, he was waiting for you.

Your fingers clenched around the towel’s edge, jaw tight, pulse pounding.

"You’ve got some fucking nerve," you muttered, stepping further into the room, closing the distance between you and him.

Harvey leaned back against the pillows, one arm draped lazily over the headboard, watching you with something smug, something knowing.

"Had to see you," he said simply. Like it was normal. Like it was nothing.

Your stomach twisted. It was never nothing with Harvey.

"And let me guess," you bit back. "You just let yourself in."

His smirk widened. "Door was unlocked, it’s not breaking and entering if you used to live together."

You let out a sharp laugh. "Bullshit. That’s exactly what it is, Dent. We don't like together anymore. Never did officially either."

Harvey didn’t flinch. Instead, his gaze slid lower. Over the damp strands of your hair. Over your throat. Your collarbone. Your bare legs.

You knew that look. It made something ugly stir inside you.

He looked at you, gaze slow, deliberate, taking in every inch of you. The damp strands of hair clinging to your skin. The way the towel barely covered enough to keep you decent.

His lips curled into a smirk. “Don’t stop on my account. Nothing I haven't seen before.”

Your fingers clenched around the towel, pulse thundering. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Harvey let out a quiet chuckle, tapping his fingers against his knee. “Relax, sweetheart. Just thought I’d drop by. Say hello. You wouldn’t answer your phone, so I figured—” he spread his arms in mock innocence, “—why not pay a visit?”

You hated how calm he was. How easy he made it look. Like he hadn’t just broken into your home. Like he hadn't broken your heart. Your chest rose and fell in quick, shallow breaths, heart hammering against your ribs. Slade was gone. Gone.

No one was coming. But you could handle yourself. And Harvey knew it. His eyes flickered down your body again, this time slow, calculating. Looking at all the marks and love bites Slade had left the night before. “You always did have a thing for older men,” he mused.

Your jaw clenched. Low blow.

Harvey smirked. “What’s the matter? Did you think I wouldn’t find out? Thought you could just run off and play house with Gotham’s favorite mercenary and I’d let it slide?” He tsked, almost disappointed. “That’s not how this works, sweetheart.”

You glared at him. Where did he get the audacity? “You don’t own me. Especially not now. Especially not after what you did. Your apology didn't change anything. You've got no right to be here.”

Harvey’s expression darkened, but only for a second. Then he grinned. “Funny. That’s exactly what I was thinking about him.”

Your stomach twisted. Because you knew what he was doing. He wanted you off balance. He wanted you to doubt. It was working. Because a part of you—a part you hated—was already wondering what Slade would do when he found out. Because he would find out. How jealous would he be? Would he finally drop the whole nonchalant act, ask you to be official?

Harvey’s smirk widened. “You think he’s coming back soon? You waiting for him? That's real cute princess.”

Your throat tightened. “He'll be back tomorrow.”

Harvey shrugged, stretching out like he had all the time in the world. “It’s funny, isn’t it? How missions can just drag out longer than expected?” His grin turned sharp. Cruel. “Would be a real shame if something happened to keep him… occupied.”

Your blood froze. Harvey watched you, waiting for the realization to sink in. He knew. He knew Slade wasn’t coming home anytime soon.

Your fingers curled into fists and suddenly you were on top of him, fangs bared, “What did you do?”

Harvey simply leaned back, enjoying himself and the view of your almost naked body on top of him. He turned his neck, as if trying to give you more access to him.

Harvey raised an eyebrow. “Now, now. Don’t go blaming me. I didn’t lift a finger.” His grin widened. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t know who did.”

Your breath was coming too fast, too shallow, panic creeping up your spine. Slade was gone. Harvey was here. You were trapped. And Harvey knew it. Your pulse pounded. Slade was gone. Harvey was here.

Your fingers dug into his shoulders, pinning him down harder against the mattress, your fangs bared, breath coming in sharp, furious exhales.

"What did you do?" you hissed again, voice low, dangerous, shaking with barely contained rage.

Harvey smirked up at you, completely unbothered. His eyes gleamed with that same smug amusement, like he was playing with his food.

"Relax, sweetheart," he murmured, voice infuriatingly smooth, teasing. "No need to get all worked up."

You pressed your thighs against his sides, pinning him harder. "Answer me, Harvey."

He let out a slow breath, his smirk twitching, dark amusement flickering across his features. "You always were so determined. I love that about you."

Your fingers tightened, nearly scratching his back, sharp acrylics pressing into his skin through the fabric of his white button down. You didn't want to hurt him, not badly at least.

"Tell me why Slade’s mission is taking so long," you demanded, your weight pressing down on him, your legs gripping him tighter.

Harvey’s hands moved then; sliding slowly up your thighs, gripping just hard enough to make your breath catch.

"You really think I’m gonna make this easy for you?" he murmured, voice dropping to something lower, something thicker with something he wasn’t bothering to hide.

Your stomach flipped, heat creeping down your spine, twisting through your limbs. He knew. He felt it.

His smirk widened, his hips shifting beneath you just slightly.

And that’s when you felt it.

Hard. Throbbing. Pressing against the thin fabric of his slacks, against the barely-there barrier of your towel. You nearly moaned, stop being a slut, you tried to tell yourself.

You froze, just for a second. And Harvey noticed.

You were straddling him, baring your venomous fangs. You could kill him. And he was hard. You could feel it, it was impossible not to, thick, twitching against your inner thigh, pressed right against you.

Your powers didn’t help. They never fucking did. The second you got close enough to feel body heat, it was over. It was a constant hum under your skin, that ache, that need, clawing at your sanity. Your towel barely clinging to your damp skin, the heat of his body seeping into yours, you didn't know how much longer you could hold on.

He let out a low, pleased chuckle, his good hand settling on your waist, just barely gripping. "Didn’t know you missed me this much, sweetheart. Thought you were over me?"

Your nails dug into his chest even harder, but he didn’t flinch. He never fucking did. "Tell me where Slade is," you demanded.

Harvey hummed, mocking. "You sure you wanna talk about him right now?" His fingers flexed against your skin, his smirk widening as he shifted slightly beneath you again. "Because from where I’m sitting, you got bigger problems."

Your breath hitched, and you hated it. Hated the way your traitorous body reacted to him. Hated the way he felt so familiar.

His gaze flickered, taking in the flush on your skin, the way your thighs squeezed involuntarily around him. He felt it too. The heat. The tension. The pull that never really disappeared, no matter how many times you had tried to convince yourself that you were done with him.

"You always were greedy," Harvey murmured, tilting his head, eyes dark with something wicked. He was loving this. "You just can’t get enough, can you?"

Suddenly, you were angry at him again. You remembered Tiffany. Your grip tightened around his wrists, holding him down, pressing harder into him, and his smirk twitched, just slightly.

Good. Let him fucking squirm. "You still think you have control here?" you whispered, lowering your head, your breath grazing the sharp line of his jaw.

His breathing faltered. Just for a second. Just enough.

Then, just as quickly, his lips curled again, sharp and taunting.

"Sweetheart," he murmured, voice deep, smug, full of sin. "As long as youre on top of me or under me, I don't give a shit who's in control."

Your entire body tensed. Your nails dragged down his chest, slow, teasing, right over his shirt. You could feel his heartbeat pounding beneath your fingertips, fast, erratic, out of sync with the smug bastard act he was putting on.

He was burning for you. Just as much as you were for him. But you weren’t going to give in.

"You still think you can do whatever you want to me?" you whispered, leaning in, letting your lips hover just over his.

Harvey’s eyes flickered. A muscle in his jaw ticked. And for the first time since he had shown up, his smirk finally fucking dropped.

You grinned. Then you moved your hips and ran your fingers up and down his chest.

Harvey cursed sharply through his teeth, his grip on your waist tightening instantly, fingers digging into your skin like a vice. His dick twitched against you through his slacks, so fucking hard and aching that you could almost feel the pulse of it.

You let out a slow, breathy chuckle. "Guess you do still want me, huh?"

Harvey’s breathing was uneven. "Careful," he rasped, voice lower, darker, more dangerous now. "You’re playing a real stupid game, princess."

"Why?" you taunted, grinded your hips again, watching the way his fingers twitched like he was fighting the urge to snap. "Because you can’t handle it? Because you can’t handle me?"

It was fun being in control. Slade never let you do whatever you wanted to him, barely ever in the bedroom. You loved control, especially when it meant having a man at your mercy beneath you.

Harvey’s eyes flashed. Then, he flipped you. Fast. Brutal.

You barely had time to react before you were the one beneath him , your towel barely hanging onto your body, his hand locked around your wrist, pinning you down, his body hovering over yours, pressing you into the mattress.

His breathing was hard, uneven, tense.

"You really think I don’t know what you’re doing?" he murmured, so close now.

Your chest heaved. You got too cocky, too confident, and now you were paying the price, "I don’t know what you’re talking about."

Harvey laughed softly, mocking, brushing his nose against yours. "Liar."

You swallowed, pulse hammering.

"You love this," he said, voice like gravel against your skin. "The attention. The desperation and groveling. You love seeing me beg. The way you talk like you want to kill me, and the next second," his lips ghosted your cheek, his cock pressing hard against your thigh, "you’re grinding against me like a fucking addict."

Your breath hitched. His grip tightened.

"He ever let you get on top?" he murmured, lips just barely grazing yours.

Your stomach twisted. "Don't."

His voice dropped lower, rougher. "Did you think about me when he had you at first? Did you close your eyes and pretend it was my hands on you even after I broke your heart? Should I tell him that?"

Your nails dug into his shoulder, your body betraying you, the heat between your legs only getting worse, stronger, overwhelming, unbearable.

"You wish," you rasped, but it sounded too breathless, too shaky.

Harvey smirked. He knew. "Say you don’t miss me," he challenged.

You clenched your jaw, turning your head away, trying to ignore the way your body burned beneath his.

"Say it," he demanded.

You tried to, but the words wouldn't come out.

Harvey hummed. Then, his fingers slid lower, trailing along your bare thigh, teasing the hem of the towel.

"Yeah," he mused, smug and cruel. "That’s what I thought."

His fingers flexed against your thighs, his grip tightening.

"Little desperate, aren’t you?" he murmured, his voice thick with something smug, something rough.

You scoffed, but your heart was hammering, your body betraying you. "If I was desperate," you whispered, leaning forward until your lips were just barely brushing against his, taunting, teasing. "You’d already be inside me."

Harvey let out a low groan. He flipped you back around, giving you full control. Letting you be on top. You lost yourself for a moment, lost the plot. You melted into him and began kissing his neck slowly and unbuttoning his shirt as you slowly moved against him. But then, you saw the picture frame you hung of you and Slade, right behind Harvey.

Slade made you take down all the photos whenever he went away on a mission, in case someone broke in and saw them, and decided to hurt you to get back at him. It was the only one you refused to remove.

It was of you and him, two months ago. Slade had a mission in Paris and he let you tag along, after you were done, you made him go to an ice cream shop. Some sweet old man asked if you wanted a picture together, Slade wasn't smiling, barely even smirking, but you could see the happiness in his eyes as he had his arms around your waist, looking down at you.

You felt nauseous, all the arousal you felt was gone. You were a whore. How could you do this to Slade? You stopped moving as your eyes watered, what if Harvey had done something to him?

Harvey's hands snapped up, gripping your hips, grinding you down onto him. He wasn't gonna let you stop now.

"Fuck, baby, I forgot how good you are at this. Don't stop, please." he exhaled, almost begging, his jaw tightening, his cock pulsing against you.

You bit your lip, trying to fight the heat clawing through your body, the way your nerves lit up at the sheer pressure of him beneath you. It felt so good. You were horny again. But you could use this to your advantage, Harvey wanted you even more that you wanted him.

"Tell me," you whispered, rolling your hips just slightly, torturing him. "Tell me what you mean when you say Slade's occupied.."

Harvey’s smirk curled, his hands dragging you down harder, making you feel every inch of him. " What’s it worth to you?"

Your breath hitched. Harvey’s fingers trailed up your back, slow, possessive, teasing. "You wanna make sure your merc comes back in one piece?"

You swallowed hard, your body thrumming with frustration, anger, something else. All control you had was slipping, your powers were making you horny but they weren't working. Harvey wasn't listening to what you told him to do.

"Make me happy, sweetheart. If I’m happy," his smirk deepened, his voice dripping with dark amusement. " the bastard stays alive."

Your chest tightened, heat roaring up your spine, burning you from the inside out. You hated him. You wanted him. You needed to keep Slade alive. Harvey’s hands slid lower, his thumbs tracing slow, burning circles into your skin.

"Make a decision, pretty girl, his flight leaves soon." he murmured, his dick twitched against you, heavy with need. God, how could he be horny while threatening your teacher/ mentor /situationship's life?

You couldn’t lose Slade.

So you kissed him. Hard. Desperate.

Harvey groaned against your lips, his hands flying up to grip your waist, dragging you down harder against him, practically trying to merge your bodies together.

"That’s my girl," he muttered, his voice rough, victorious, possessive.

Your stomach burned with shame, with need, with something twisted and terrible. You hated him. You loved him.

You needed Slade to live.

But you couldn't do this to Slade, couldn't betray him on the bed you shared every night. He would be livid, what would he do in this situation? Probably kill Harvey. But you weren't Slade, you weren't as brave or as cruel as him.

So you did what you do best: You ran.

You jumped off of Harvey, punching him in the nose, still only in your towel that somehow stayed on, and shut the bedroom door in his face. You had powers, you were faster than Harvey, maybe even stronger than him. You made it to the front door in seconds, but your heart dropped as you saw the three new deadbolts.

Fucking Slade. You debated letting him die at that point.

Suddenly, you felt him behind you, grabbing you and pinning you against the door.

“Goddamn,” He laughed, amused, mocking, “you really thought that would work?”

You snarled, struggling harder, but he didn’t budge. His grip only tightened.

“Let me go, Harvey.”

His breath hitched at the way you said his name. Not Dent. Not Two-Face. Not some alias meant to keep distance. Just Harvey.

And it made something in his chest clench. His fingers flexed, his other hand dragging up your spine in a slow, deliberate motion, making you shudder.

“You always run, don’t you?” His voice was low, smooth—but there was something dangerous beneath it. “Always running from someone.”

His grip tightened on your wrists, pressing them into the wall, “From them. From me. From yourself.”

You hated how well he knew you. You hated that he was right. You hated how he got you into bed willingly even as the guilt ate you up. You hated how good he made you feel, how you couldn't bring yourself to say no. If you did, he would stop, and you didn't want that.

"Don't act like you don't want me now. You were all over me not even a minute ago." He sneered, as he ripped off your towel like it offended him.

You didn't know how many times you came, or how long you went for. You felt so good, but somehow you've never felt worse. Even as Harvey made you scream his name, you thought of how Slade would react.

You felt even worse as the night wore on, and instead of rough sex, you began to make love. Harvey buried his face in your neck as he muttered apologies, still buried inside you, and swore he would make it up to you.

You began to cry, it felt so good. But it was so wrong, so disgusting.

And you knew you never felt true regret until you woke up the next morning in Harvey Dent's arms, naked on the bed you slept on with Slade Wilson.

WHAT YALL THINK?? 1-10?? ALSO COMMENT DOWN BELOW TO BE ON THE TAGLIST FOR THIS STORY

[laurasinele]

"I fell in love," he says softly.

His partner is holding a toddler in his arms and pulls the other two children out of the kitchen. He looks at you with an apologetic smile, even sad. You realize he knows all about you.

"You fell in love," you repeat. "How? Have you forgotten about me? All this time, all these lives? How could you do this to me? No, to both of us! To him! You're fooling yourself!"

He takes your wrists delicately and brings your flailing arms to a rest. You refuse to shed a tear. This is not sad or heartbreaking. This feels violent. It's a back stab.

"I was looking for you, I met him, I fell in love. All this time, all these lives, that's never happened before. I figured it was meant to be. I thought we'd be friends this time around. Maybe some other time we'll be siblings, master and apprentice, I don't know—"

You shake his hands off. "Bullshit."

He looks at you, tired, as if he's had this argument a thousand times in his mind and it's never gone better than this.

"I do love you."

"You're married! You have children! Both your names are on this house deed!"

"What is a soulmate anyway," he mumbles, his hands on his hips, his head low, shaking slightly.

"What?"

"Nothing! Nothing, dear. What's your name this time?"

You let out a bitter chuckle.

"What does it matter?"

"How old are you? I'd say maybe ten years younger than I?"

"Why does it matter?! You found me in my sixties once, when you were barely twenty. It never stopped you."

"No, it didn't. You'd had a wife before me, right?"

You blink your shock away. You never told him about her.

"You weren't even born!"

"You had a child."

"She was older than you!"

"Did you love them? Did you cry when you lost them?"

You are crying now.

"What does it have to do with anything?"

"I," he talks over you, "have loved you in an infinity of ways. I don't know how love works, if there are laws or it's pure chaos. I don't know if my husband has a soulmate somewhere waiting for him,disappointed about our marriage. But I do know how it feels, how each of its ways feels. And I've been waiting for you, looking for you, before and after meeting Bjorn. I've remembered you and loved you the same way I do each time I recall your existence in each life. But the way I love you by the time one of us dies, is never the same." He pauses, takes a deep breath and turns his back on you. You clean your face on your sleeve. "I don't know, love. The fact that every time we've met we've fallen in love with each other looks to me like chance. We might have an infinity of lives ahead. I love you. I do. I have no doubt in me that you are my soulmate. I'm just not in love with you. Maybe not yet. Maybe not this time. I have no idea."

"Let's find out," you plead, your hand extended towards him.

"I'm not opposed to that. But I'm not leaving my family. And I'm not tying you up."

He leaves you alone in his kitchen. There is something big, enormous in what he has just told you. You're not ready to hear it yet. You open a drawer and pick a little iron spoon. You put it in your pocket and take the back door.

You and your soulmate are stuck in a cycle of reincarnation, but you managed to find each other every single time. In this life, you finally managed to track them down… only to learn they started a happy family with someone else.

[chrollohearttags]

hard to breathe • portgas d. ace

seeing your ‘ex’ boyfriend ace one last time for closure..or so you thought. (based off of this song I’ve been obsessed with for months. It’s ‘old’ but I felt like it fit him and the vibe of this fic)

📝: black fem!reader, lots of relationship angst, modern au, heavy kissing, arguing + lots of dialogue, they’re slightly toxic ( y’all both ain’t shit I’m sorry 😭), riding, car sex, dirty talk, breeding, baby trapping (kinda), infidelity, hair pulling, pet names and daddy used, crying

wc: 4.1K

🎙️: I love writing my faves in a bunch of different scenarios, including ones that aren’t typical for their personality. This is in no way condoning toxicity, infidelity or anything of the sort. I just thought it would be a lil fun to experiment.

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“Where are you right now?”

“I should be with you..”

“You know that’s not a good idea..”

“Yeah, but it’s what we both want..who cares if it’s wrong or not?”

3:30am

the deep drawl on the other end of the line luring you in with each word..it always had a tendency to do so, even when you wished you could just ignore it.

“Ace, what the hell do you want from me? Stop this.”

“C’mon, babe. It’s the truth. Don’t tell me you’re feeling guilty..what did I tell you? You’ve got to stop giving so much a damn about what other people think.”

“Go to hell. Not everyone can just mistreat people like it’s nothing.”

it was a shame honestly..this type of behavior was so unbecoming of both of you. A sweet girl who didn’t like to make much of a fuss for anyone or over anything. And him, the shining example of a stand up guy. Charming, kind, helpful, a little rough around the edges but what every man should strive to be. Yet here you were..whispering into the speaker of your phone as to not wake the one in the room next to you. A mere replacement to dull the ache in your heart caused by him and his stupidity. Meanwhile, he was chuckling in your ear. Seemingly teasing you because he could sense the tension in your shaky voice. He knew you’d bolt the second you heard a ruffle from the other room…but he also knew you’d never hang up. Knew you couldn’t resist answering in the first place and for damn sure, that you couldn’t resist his offer…

“I want to see you. I can be at your place in ten..”

“Are you out of your fucking mind? It’s late, Ace..and—“

“And what? Afraid your little boyfriend might wake up? I know it’s not because you don’t want to see me either.”

“You’re a piece of work, you know that? How dare you? You ended things, Ace. Not me. So why the fuck do you keep hitting me up?”

the line would fall silent for a moment..only the shallow echoes of your breath captured on the opposite end. That was until you’d hear a sigh and his voice once more. This time with a much less arrogant tone.

“Listen, (y/n)..I get it. I fucked up..it’s my fault things turned out this way and I’m sorry. I know I can’t go back or change anything that happened between us but I can try to make it right. Even if it means someone else gets to do what I couldn’t…I just wanted a chance to apologize. In person…which I should’ve been man enough to do from the jump.”

the things in question? Your relationship..a bond of three years to be exact and a union everyone was certain would end in the two of you walking down the aisle. However, life has a funny way of throwing even the biggest of curveballs. This man had all but swept you off your feet one night a few summers ago..both out with friends and enjoying the night life as young singles should. Drinking, laughing and having a blast. Even though you were a bit more on the reserved side, he still managed to spot you out of all the beautiful women in that club that night. And trust, a fair share of them had been vying for his attention. Even so, he couldn’t focus on anyone but you. That was one of Ace’s many wonderful qualities. In a room full of people, he managed to make you feel special..as if you were the only one there. Which wasn’t exactly intentional..his biggest issue was that he tried to be friendly, trying his hardest not to hurt anyone’s feelings anymore. He struggled with his anger quite a bit when he was younger, taking next to nothing to set him off and if he was in the midst of conversation with one person, it was best that no one else tried to interrupt. However, he realized that only caused trouble so he always tried to greet someone regardless. It just didn’t fare very well when it came to women. No girl wants someone that it seems everyone can access to!

But alas, you sat in that section next to him; nursing your drinks and exchanging pleasantries. He was so easy to talk to. He had this awkward yet charming charisma about him. Almost as if despite his good looks, he wasn’t the ‘ladies man’ you’d peg him to be off first glance. Somehow though, he managed to get your number and the rest was history. You began hanging out, going on a couple dates..even spending a weekend together after a bad storm trapped the two of you inside of his apartment. You really enjoyed being around him and as time passed, the bond grew stronger. Six months later, you came over to visit and found yourself greeted by smoke and an obviously frustrated Ace covered in soot..a result of him attempting to cook a dinner to formally ask you to be his girlfriend! It was those goofy yet sweet gestures that made you adore him.

perfectly flawed was the best way to describe him in your book…maybe he made mistakes and maybe he didn’t come from this picturesque family but he was a damn good guy doing his best to be better than what he was used to. He was a hard worker and willing to fight for what he wanted.

You cherished every moment you guys got to spend together and at one point, you even got matching tattoos of half hearts on each of your hands..however, things began to crumble in the once ideal world you had curated together.

going from laughing all the time to petty arguments that seemed intentional. From spending late nights together..making love until the sun shines over your bodies..now you were blowing up his phone to see where he was. You began to suspect that he was cheating. Perhaps somewhere with another woman. But you were wrong..truth be told, he was running.

running away from a healthy home and relationship because he didn’t know how to handle it. Didn’t know how to process being loved unconditionally without expecting the worst to happen…he never figured himself to be good enough for you to begin with but here you were..constantly showering him with affection; buying him gifts, making his favorite meals and even surprising him with massages after long, stressful days at work. You were everything he didn’t deserve! Hence why..he felt the need to blow it up before it could escalate. He couldn’t let you continue treating someone like him as if he were special. Three weeks later, he texted you asking to break up and to say you were devastated? Was an understatement. You loved this man so damned much, you had already begun looking at wedding dresses and contemplating baby names, figuring you guys were in this for the long run. But fairy tales don’t exist and you weren’t getting the story book ending. Instead, you were left heartbroken..trying to piece yourself back together and figure out what went wrong.

“Just one last time, that’s all I’m asking. I want to say I’m sorry and then I’m out of your hair for good, I promise. I won’t bother you ever again..”

a solid compromise, you supposed. Besides, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to look him in his eye and tell him to go fuck himself for how he fumbled you. He’d plead, calling your name until he got a response and finally:

“I’ll be in the lobby, call me when you get here.” Before disconnecting the line and releasing a heavy sigh. You fought back tears but in order for the next chapter of your life to begin, you had to finish this one. But the funny thing about some books…

is that they refused to remain closed!

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page break bc I don’t do filler

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“..it’s nice to see you again. You look beautiful as always—“

“Enough of the small talk. State your business and make it quick.”

the two of you sat parked outside of your luxury apartment complex, downstairs in the desolate parking garage. Your arms folded across your chest in a defensive manner and his stretched across the steering wheel..that goofy snark on his face as he kissed his teeth. He knew you were fighting so hard to stand firm in your boundaries, something you struggled with in the past. And truthfully, he hated to disrupt that peace…but he was selfish, gluttonous even. He wasn’t always this nice guy everyone saw him as. He wanted to have his cake and eat it too and if that meant he’d leave your head a mess once again then so be it. A fucked up sentiment but the truth nonetheless..

“…damn. It's like that then? Fair enough..”

turning in his seat, Ace shifted and focused his attention directly on you. It was hard to maintain eye contact because how could he face you after such a betrayal? Even so, this was his bed he made and it was time to lie in it.

“The truth is...I was afraid. One day, you’d wake up and realize that I wasn’t what you thought I was. That I was broken and I didn’t have my shit together. It’s like no matter what I did in my life, I found a way to fuck it up. Make a mess of things..I’m not like you, (y/n). Honestly, what could you possibly see in me? Don’t you want someone who’s your equal?”

by this time, tears were beginning to swell in his eyes as well. The more he spoke, he realized that these feelings of insecurity were always within him. You promised yourself that you were just going to give him a piece of your mind, storm out and never have to see him again. But it was never that easy with this man.

you knew he was genuine and not just trying to victimize himself. He honestly felt like you could do so much better. But he also knew by the look in your eyes that you were not going to let him get away so easily.. You didn’t hate him, hell, you couldn’t even bring yourself to fully get angry with him for what he did. Looking down, Ace would begin to chuckle; a weird coping mechanism for him in times of stress and uttered the last words you wanted to hear.

“And after all this time, all the bullshit I put you through..you still love me, don’t you? That’s the only reason you’re still sitting here..the only reason you didn’t hang up. When you’re done with something, you never give it a second thought.” sitting cross armed, you’d begin to laugh. Not at his hurt but at the fact that for the first time in almost five years of knowing him, you saw him show genuine, raw emotion. You saw him finally let down his guard and be himself…as sad as it was, it was a bit cathartic.

“Wow…so you are capable of communicating your feelings and there isn’t a ten foot wall of bullshit in that head of yours.” Poking the side of his temple playfully..

“Of course I love you. I never stopped, you inconsiderate jackass. What did I ever do to you? That’s all I could ask myself. You keep talking about me deserving better and all of this bullshit..who gave you the right to decide what I wanted and what I deserve? Shouldn’t I have a say too? You left because it was easy, Ace. Instead of working through it with me, you ran because you don’t want anyone thinking you’re weak. That’s not how relationships work..we’re supposed to see each other at our worst, our best..good and bad days. If you feel insecure about anything, you did it to yourself because you were perfect to me and you know damn well I never made you feel anything less than.”

those words stung like none other. And honestly, no matter what he said, there wasn’t a good enough excuse for any of his behavior. You said it best..he was selfish, immature and didn’t think clearly. Ace had a knack for marching to the beat of his own drum and damn the consequences.

“..you’re right, (y/n). It’s my fault..and I can’t take any of it back…” suddenly, you’d feel his hand clutch the top of your own, intertwining your fingers as he stared you in the eye.

“..but I can try to fix it. Fix us..let me make this right. Please…if you’re happier with someone else, then there’s nothing I can do. But—“ In that moment, (y/n) had finally heard all that you could take. Reaching over the console, you’d clutch his face in your palm and shove your lips together. The sensation of that warm kiss sent a surge throughout your body..a spark you hadn’t felt since the day he left.

“Are you done? God, I swear you talk too damn much.” Prompting him to laugh as you held the side of his face. He was a little taken aback by your sudden dominance. Not knowing you to ever take control like this but he wasn’t mad about it one bit..

“..why’d you kiss me? What about your boyfriend?” A question as disrespectful as it was rhetorical.

“You’re as dumb as you are cute sometimes. You think I came all the way out here at three am to chit chat? Nut uh, you owe me..also, you’re a greedy bastard. No way you’re letting me go back in that apartment unless it’s with you." By this time, your hands were roaming his chest and your faces were only inches apart. His lips would curl into a sheepish grin before his palm snaked to the back of your neck, tugging your head towards him.

“..what can I say, babe? I’m just too damn stubborn..I always have to get my way.” And with that, you’d find your tongues joined together again. Twirling around one another with heavy whimpers mixed in. Suddenly, you’d find yourself crawling into the driver's seat and onto his lap. Just as you’d suspected, he’d worn those gray sweats you’d always loved to see him in and a black tank top to display his muscles, along with a newly acquired tattoo.

This man was not slick at all! Even so, his little tactic worked because all those memories of late nights and early mornings with him came rushing back. When you’d find yourself sneaking out on lunch breaks at work just to come eat his dick up or when he’d show up at your apartment around midnight because he’d work the closing shift again. With a bottle of wine and the intention of putting you through the mattress in every position after two glasses got you turned on. It was always exciting and spontaneous with Ace, something your ‘new man’ lacked. Slowly winding in his lap as you continued to make out, (y/n) caressed his torso..missing the familiar touch of his skin, taking in the scent of his cologne and immersing yourself in him. He’d run his thumbs across your throat, gently squeezing as you took his bottom lip between his teeth.

“You’re so beautiful..I missed you.” “Yeah? You missed me, baby?” Teasing him as you bounced your ass against his crotch, subtly twerking on his visible bulge. Caressing your gentle fingertips across his freshly shaven jawline. You could feel him growing harder underneath him and knew he wouldn’t be able to hold out much longer. Even kissing on his neck and licking on his jugular. “Mmmm..fuck. Pull that dress up and I’ll show you just how much.” Without a single bit of hesitation, you lifted the hem and allowed your bare cheeks and slit to graze him. Shuffling around underneath you, Ace slid his thumbs into the sides of those sweats, letting them pool around his waist. Meanwhile, he couldn’t stop marking your neck and lips with tender kisses..or apologizing for how stupid he was! Being here with you again brought back a flood of memories and emotions..ones that he never wanted to lose again. He needed this to be real once more. However, you weren’t much for talking right now..if he wanted to win his girl back, all you needed were actions.

“Why are you still talking? Just fuck the shit out of me before I grow a conscience and change my mind.” Your command being heard loud and clear; forcing him to grip your waist and balance you above that aching tip. Swollen red and seeping with precum, he was eager for you and that warm cunt was welcoming him in.

“Yes ma’am..whatever you say.” Following up his remark with a toothy smirk so you knew he was going to deliver and give you exactly what you were looking for. (Y/N) reclined against the steering wheel for a moment as he slowly infiltrated that entrance. That core drooling as he made home inside of you. Both of your heads fell backwards in a haze of pleasure…enjoying the all too familiar feeling of being one!

“Shiiit..why are so fucking tight? Oh my gosh..” those breathy moans and whines escaped his mouth the second he began thrusting. Not even two pumps in and he was trying to maintain his composure. With you though, he failed pretty quick. Reacclimating to the warmth that was your insides was going to be a challenge. Even so, he’d continue to guide you up and down on his shaft, letting that thick cock stretch open those wet folds.

“That’s it, pretty girl. Take this dick…just like that..” Meanwhile, (y/n)’s mouth fell ajar, overstimulated by the sensation already. You’d paw at his chest, holding onto him as he maneuvered you to his liking. Using your body like that of a flesh light. “’s so good. Missed this big fucking dick.” Hearing those words elicited another chuckle from Ace, prompting him to cradle the back of your neck in a dominant manner, pulling you close. “Yeah? Your little boyfriend ever fuck you like this?” Questioning through clenched teeth as he continued guiding your lower half..

those soft insides wrapping around him with each stroke. You’d then feel the tight clutch of his hand on the back of your head, tugging at those freshly styled wefts coursing down your back..he was aware of the minute fortune you spent each month to upkeep your beauty. From the thousand dollar hair appointments, nail salon visits and waxes..even so, he didn’t give a damn! Turning his gorgeous girl into a sloppy slut was his favorite pastime. A toothy grin on his face, watching your swollen tits bounce and drool seep from the corners of your mouth, along with the loud moans following suit.

“..I’ll take that as a no. You’re squeezing me like you haven’t come in ages, babe.” Those taunts harbored more truth than you’d care to admit. As shameful as it was to be cheating, you’d never be happy with someone who couldn’t give you a nut! Hypocritical as it was abhorrent, you too would never be satisfied until you got what you desired. And that desire was the guy slamming balls deep up inside of you at the moment. Pounding that sensitive little core..letting that fat mushroom tip split you open and begging for that sweet cunt to siphon him for every last drop of cum he had. “You’re fucking dripping..you must’ve needed this bad. Goddamn..” referring to the creamy release you had drizzling his cock. Making a mess of his lap. “Y—yeah..you’re the only one who can make me cream like this.” Cock drunk and giggling as he catapulted you up and down. The vehicle began to sway due to the heavy activity taking place and the windows also began to fog up as a result. That’s when you’d feel his palms colliding with your asscheeks, egging on your bouncing. It was in the midst of those heavy handed smacks that he’d begin pleading his remorse. Telling you how sorry he was for how he mistreated you. As cute as it was, you weren’t interested in any half assed apologies, but rather….

”…if you’re really sorry, you’ll nut in me. This is your pussy so act like it..” Uttering those words with a wide smile on your face whilst meeting his strokes with heavy bounces..nearly made Ace convulse. He loved when you spoke to him in such a domineering manner. You’d feel a sudden twitch inside of you and his hands guiding you as you slammed down on that cock. Your cheeks grazing the outer rim of the steering wheel..both of you so close to your peak that you’d claw into one another’s skin.

Covered in a sheen of sweat and saliva..begging the other to get you there and revealing all of your deepest confessions for one another..including the fact that he wanted you to be his forever and that you weren’t leaving this parking lot without him. You’d clearly chosen who you wanted to be with.

“…damn right it’s my pussy, princess. I don’t care who you bring home. You belong to me and I belong to you..no one else can come between that. Ever again.”

not to mention..you were begging for his cum yet again. You’d often divulge in the throes of pre-climatic bliss that you wanted to have his kid..be so full of his seed that there was no way you weren’t pregnant and Ace certainly had no objections to it. Maybe it was the sensation of being cream pied or the fact that you really wanted a family with him. Either way, he constantly fantasized about seeing you full with his seed; how adorable you’d look with a bump and he just couldn’t maintain his composure.

“Yes..please come in me. Want your baby—“ having to laugh again at how cute and pathetic you were becoming. But alas, there was no room for shame right now. You’d plead with your last breath to feel that womb stuffed again.

“That right, gorgeous? Does my pretty girl want me to get her pregnant?..” “Yes, nut in this fucking pussy, daddy. Please!” certainly a far cry from the headstrong woman who was yelling at him before. Now, you were reduced to a desperate little cumslut, pleading to be bred. Luckily, you didn’t have to wait long. After experiencing your second orgasm in close succession, Ace would pin you down and force his cock up into you, going as fast as he could muster. “Don’t worry, you’re gonna take every drop. You’re going to have my baby and I’m going to take such good care of you both. Gonna marry you—be a better man this time around..” That soft flesh ricocheting as a result..loud grunts and curse words filling the car as he prepared to do the same to you.

“M fucking coming, babe! Hold still—shit!—“ in that moment, that orgasm would rip through his body and just as you requested, all of his warm seed coursed through your insides and didn’t stop for a solid two minutes..having not had a proper orgasm since you guys split up. He was still twitching inside of you, holding you to his chest as you both cried from how amazing it felt. Tears on both of your faces as a result of ecstasy.

“Damn, I guess I wasn’t the only one who needed that.” Teasing him amidst your cute giggles. Leaning up, (y/n) kissed the tip of his nose and caressed his cheek..unable to believe that you were here with him again. He’d gently stroke the side of your face as well..glaring at you as if you were the most precious thing in the world.

“I love you, (y/n)..so much. I never thought I’d get the chance to tell you that again. Feels so good.” And you shared his sentiment. He was the only one it ever felt genuine from and damn sure, the only guy you meant it to. Any guilt or shame had long since absolved and you knew this was exactly where you should’ve been. ”I love you too, Ace. I’m so glad you showed up.” It was going to be a long day, as you had some explaining to do. But for now..

“Shit..he’s calling me.”

“Ignore it..let me hold you a little bit longer, okay?”

you wanted to remain in this moment for as long as possible. After all, this is where you were happiest and there was no one who’d give you the high that he could.

[wosospacegirl]

Better kisser - Head Coach Leah x Arsenal! r

Summary: Leah questions why the reader looks sad during training

Warnings: Just Leah being emotionally unavailable and kisses?!! :P

Word count: 2.3k

Masterlist here

..

Y/n had already come to terms with Leah’s personality.

Leah Williamson was distant, proud, confident and even patronizing. Although she was also caring, protective and affectionate when she wanted to. And that was the problem—when she wanted to.

Some would say Y/n was the typical soft girl, on and off the pitch. The young Arsenal player would try to avoid conflicts as much as she possibly could. She was easygoing and just chilled, the opposite of her Head Coach, which also happened to be Leah Williamson.

The two women had a tumultuous relationship, if anyone would call that a relationship. It had been 4 months since Y/n had signed with Arsenal as a new defender, and since then all Leah and Y/n did was argue and make up through quick snogging sessions in either Leah’s office or the locker room while the other team members were away.

Y/n had never experienced such a thrill before. She never had a forbidden relationship in her life before. The rush of excitement whenever Leah pushed her against the wall to nibble at her neck while the others weren’t around the same as entering a match during the most important game of the season. It felt good. The tingle that would rush through her body made it all worth it.

But sometimes, late at night, Y/n wished she could have someone to hold to—well, she wished she could hold Leah—and not anyone else. Y/n enjoyed tenderness and physical touch. She craved it, especially on nights like this one.

Y/n understood Leah would never come around to being in a relationship with her. The first time they kissed months ago, Leah told her she didn’t do relationships or anything that required emotional attachment. And that was why Y/n had to be happy that Leah even put up with her after and agreed to do a friends-with-benefits situation, even though they weren’t friends, and Leah was to a certain extent her boss.

Y/n rolled around in bed until sleep found her.

..

The next day at training, everybody could see there was something wrong with Y/n. Habitually, the young girl gave her all during the resistance and balance drills on the pitch. Her performance wasn’t being questioned, although the other players noticed that Y/n wasn’t her usual self. During the day, she kept to herself, not making any of her lighthearted jokes, not even with Alessia and Kyra, one of her closest friends.

Leah watched from afar, arms crossed, as Y/n did defensive drills with McCabe. The Irish woman was trying to get Y/n to smile more, trying to understand why she looked sad, but Y/n just brushed her off, saying she had woken up from the wrong side of the bed.

“Hey, Alessia, come here,” Leah called, moving her tactics board hurriedly.

Alessia came running, noticing the rushed tone in the Coach’s voice. “Hi, what’s wrong?”

“What happened to Y/n? She looks off,” Leah asked, pointing at Y/n with her head.  

Alessias followed Leah’s eyes. “I’m not sure, actually,” Alessia admitted. “I tried talking to her but all she said was she had a bad night of sleep, but I don’t think that’s the case.”

“Hmm,” Leah murmured, staring even more at Y/n.

The girl was training marking with one of the guys from the technical team. “She’s been like that for a few days now,” Alessia continued. “Last week I asked her if she wanted to go out with me and Kyra and she said she wasn’t in the mood. Then yesterday Kyra asked if she wanted to do karaoke, and she also said no”

“What do you think the reason might be?” Leah asked, frowning. She didn’t like the feeling in her chest, the way she felt just because Y/n was sad.

Alessia took a towards to Leah. “Can you keep this between us?” Alessia whispered, a guilty look on her face.

Leah looked at the blonde with concern. Why was Alessia asking to keep a secret, had something really happened with Y/n? Had she been injured and Leah hadn’t noticed? It had been a few days since Leah and Y/n had had one of their casual and secret meetings in Leah’s office, but Leah didn’t remember the girl complaining about anything. Well, they didn’t talk much, though.

“Yeah, what happened?” Leah asked, holding on to her tactics board

“I think she’s going through some personal problems, me and Kyra think she’s gota girlfriend, and things aren’t going well between them,” Alessia replied, her cheeks turning red. “But don’t tell her I told you, please! She hasn’t told me anything, it’s just a hunch. I mean, she always complains about how single she is…”

“Does she always complain about that?” Leah tilted her head. “I’ve never heard her say anything about it.”

Alessia laughed. “Of course not, you are the coach now. When you were a player, did you talk to Renée about your feelings? Of course, not.”

Leah shrugged. “You got a point, Russo, thank you. Now back to training.”

Before Alessia could leave, Leah said in a low voice. “Besides, you are the worst keeper of secrets I have ever met.”

“Oh, shut up Williamson,” Alessia laughed, and returned to training.

Girlfriend, Leah thought.

Y/n couldn’t have a girlfriend. What they had was extremely casual, but Y/n wasn’t the type of girl to cheat on someone. Maybe Y/n didn’t have a girlfriend, but was she seeing other people?

Leah clenched her fist at the thought of another woman holding Y/n, kissing her, hearing the sweet noises she made. Y/n wasn’t hers, but for some reason she felt very territorial.

Territorial? Leah wasn’t sure that was the right word to describe how she felt about Y/n.

Perhaps protective was a better word.

I mean, who even was this girl Y/n was seeing anyway? What if she just wanted Y/n for attention or money? Y/n wasn't rich per se, very few athletes her age, but she did have a big platform on her TikTok and Instagram. Maybe this girl wanted Y/n for her fame. Leah wouldn’t let that happen.

..

Y/n didn't hear Leah come into the dressing room at first, but Leah’s earthy perfume made her presence known. Before Y/n could turn around Leah had her hands on the girl’s hips and was kissing the back of her neck.

“You haven’t spoken to me today,” Leah whispered against the Y/n’s skin, hating how soft her voice sounded. “What happened, huh?”

Y/n felt a shiver run through her body. She turned to meet Leah’s blue eyes. “I did talk to you during the team meeting.” Y/n replied, pushing Leah slightly so she wasn’t pressed against the wall.

“Telling me you accidentally deflated one of our balls doesn’t count.” Leah rolled her eyes, as she watched Y/n strip off her training kit and stand in nothing her sports bra and gym  shorts.

Her eyes ran over Y/n’s body, wanting to touch every part of it.

“Well, guess we didn’t have much to talk about.” Y/n said, getting her bag from her locker and looking for a change of clothes.

Leah picked up on the cold tone immediately.

“We never have much to talk about, but we do it anyway,” Leah argued back as Y/n put on a pair of leggings and a clean t-shirt that said, “Live fast, eat trash”.

Y/n crossed her arms and tilted her head. “No, we don’t. We never talk Leah, we exchange a few words, you get mad about something I did in the pitch, you put on your whole dominant persona, then we have sex, and I go home,” Y/n touched Leah’s chest cynically. “That’s what we do.”

Leah pressed her lips together.

“You never had a problem with the way we did things. What happened now?” Leah asked, frustrated. This was not the way she wanted the conversation to go at all.

Y/n sighed before picking up her bag. “I’m really not in the mood for this, Leah.”

Leah held Y/n’s arms before she could leave the room, making sure the grip wasn’t too tight. In case Y/n really wanted to leave.

“Hey, don’t go, please,” Leah asked, Y/n’s skin warm against her palm. “I just noticed how you were off today, and I was hoping you could talk to me about it.”

Y/n didn’t meet Leah’s gaze, but she didn’t make a move to leave either.

“You’re right. We don’t really talk, and I know I can be grumpy with you.” The blonde continued, watching Y/n’s face, trying to figure out how the girl was feeling. “But I can talk, and I want to talk with you, if you ever need to.”

Leah was embarrassed to admit that this was the most vulnerable she had felt in months. I can talk!? Really, Leah? Who was she? A teenage boy interacting with a girl for the first time?

“I want to talk to you, not just kiss you,” Y/n admitted, looking down at the floor.

Leah was silent.

“Ok, we’ll talk then.” Leah agreed, fake confidence in her voice. “I love talking.”

“No, you don’t. Yesterday, you told Katie to shut up when she wished you good morning.”

“It was 6am.” Leah defended herself. “And I hadn’t had my coffee yet.”

“If you say so,” Y/n shrugged her shoulders.

The women remained silent. Leah released her grip on Y/n’s arm.

“I can start the talking thing,” Leah said, an adorable blush on her cheeks. It was as if she wasn’t used to doing things like this.

“Okay, then you talk while we walk to my car,” Y/n said, leaving no room for Leah to protest.

Leah took the bag from Y/n’s hand and slung it over her shoulder as they walked through the lonely corridors of Arsenal. “Hm—what’s your favorite colour?” Leah asked.

“Blue.”

“You can’t say blue, you’re an Arsenal player,” Leah argued, almost offended.

“Red then,” Y/n said, being her easy-going self.

“Cats or dogs?”

“Cats,” Y/n replied. “And let me guess, you like dogs,” the young girl raised an eyebrow.

“Correct.” Leah smiled.

When they got to Y/n’s car, Leah handed Y/n’s bag back. “That was a lot of talking! I’m proud of you,” Y/n said condescending, playfully patted Leah on the cheek.

Leah held Y/n’s hand. “Don’t get cheeky with me,” Leah warned mischievously.

Before Leah realized, Y/n’s lips were on her mouth, her tongue rolling gently into her mouth softly. “You’re a better kisser than a talker,” Y/n whispered. “But I appreciate the effort.”

Leah looked around to make sure no one was out there in the car park during the cold winter night. When Leah made sure they were alone, she pressed Y/n to the car door. “I wasn’t raised by animals; I can be social if I want to.”

“Well, I hope you want to be this sociable with me more often, then.” Y/n ended the kiss with a peck on Leah’s lips.

“I’ll try,” Leah said smugly. “Hey, there’s actually one more thing I want to talk to you about.”

“Oh really?” Y/n asked cheekily. “What is it?”

Courage, Leah. You can do it. It’s just another talk.

“Russo told me you were seeing someone,” Leah admitted, trying to sound cool. “I just wanted to make sure we—” she pointed at the two of them. “—Are alright, I mean I don’t mind sharing.” Big, big lie, Leah. “But if you’re with someone just let me know and we can end this, amicably, and all.”

Y/n was silent for a minute, then for two minutes, and then she burst out laughing.

“Russo told you what?”

“Okay, she didn’t tell me, I asked her, but only because you seemed off today.” Leah rolled her eyes. She didn’t like people laughing at her. “But it’s whatever, forget I ever said anything.”

Y/n grabbed Leah’s arm before the blonde could turn around. “No, come on, don’t get mad now.” The young player said. “I just laughed because I don’t know why Alessia thought I was seeing someone, I barely have time for my cat.”

“She also said you complained about being single,” Leah admitted, throwing out the whole keep it between us promise she had made to Alessia.

“Oh— “Y/n blushed, playing with her hands. “I mean, I guess we all want some kind of affection sometimes, don’t we?”

The women started at each other.

“Maybe,” Leah finally replied.  

Y/n sighed. “It was nice talking to you, Leah, see you tomorrow,” Y/n leaned into Leah, and have her a kiss on the cheek before getting inside her car and driving away, leaving Leah in the parking lot with a weird feeling inside of her.

Leah was left wondering: she wanted to do more than just have sex with Y/n, but she wasn't so sure that she could do relationships, or that she could give Y/n the affection that she wanted. Y/n was the kind of girl who expected Valentine's Day gifts and spontaneous trips. She would expect them to adopt a dog - or, well, a cat.

Leah wasn't sure she could. Leah wasn't stupid, she noticed how much Y/n liked her, and she liked Y/n back, but the fear of ruining Y/n's personal and professional life if anyone knew they were together was stronger than whatever Leah felt for the girl.

“I hate feelings,” Leah murmured to herself as she walked back to the Arsenal building, and into her office.

“I’m going get a lot of work done and forget about this whole situation,” Leah lied to herself. “Everything will be fine; she will stop liking me any day and everything will go back to normal.”  

The woman stayed in the office until the next morning, taking small naps in between tactics plans.

Leah awoke to a knock on her door. A very cheerful McCabe walked in.

“Hey mate, good morning,” McCabe said smiling.

“Oh my God, can’t you shut up for a second, Kaite?” Leah snapped, getting up from her chair and leaving the Irish alone in the room.

“What the fuck did I do now?” The brunette complained. “Fine, I’ll stop being polite to you.”

Please make sure to give feedback so I know what you guys think about this fic!

[writingsoftarnishedsilver]

Sex | Sebastian Sallow x Reader

This fucking song and this fucking idea have been floating around in my head for months and I think I just gotta get it out before I go NUTS!!! I hope y'all enjoy.

This is... not very plot driven tbh, just pretty much longing and smut.

Words: ~9,200

Tags: Shameless Smut, Modern AU, Plus/Mid-Size Reader, Reader Insert, Female MC, No Y/N, Post-Hogwarts, Chonky Seb Supremacy, Angst, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Longing and Pining

The walk to the car is excruciating.

And it’s not because of the crowd, not because of the neon-lit chaos of the parking lot, or because people are weaving between cars, shouting to their friends, the leftover adrenaline from the concert still pulsing through everyone’s veins.

It’s excruciating because of you.

Because you’re tipsy and giggling, clinging to Sebastian’s wrist as you stumble over the uneven pavement in those ridiculous platform heels that you insisted on wearing even though you knew you’d be walking half a mile back to the car.

Because your top is tight—way too tight—clinging in ways that make his pulse skip, the fabric stretching over curves that he’s spent ten fucking years trying not to stare at.

Because your jeans are hugging your thighs like they were painted onto you, and he’s trying so goddamn hard not to think about how good they look, how good you look, how much better you’d look without them.

And then there's your makeup—the dark, sultry eyeshadow, the perfectly lined eyes, the lipstick that started out precise but is now just slightly smudged from sweat, from drinking, from running your tongue over your lips all night.

It’s killing him.

You laugh suddenly, squeezing his arm as you stumble again.

“God, my feet hurt,” you whine dramatically, pressing your forehead against his bicep like the weight of your suffering is too much to bear. “Why the fuck did I wear these?”

Sebastian snorts, steadying you easily. “I asked the same thing when I picked you up, love.”

You lift your head, squinting up at him, cheeks flushed from the alcohol, the heat, the pure, unfiltered joy of the night.

“They make me taller,” you say, lifting one foot and wiggling it mid-air for emphasis before dropping it back down with a clunk.

Sebastian shakes his head, amused but also distracted, too fucking aware of you tonight.

“You’re still short,” he mutters.

Your mouth drops open in mock offence and you shove him, but your balance is shit, so you just end up gripping his arm harder, your nails pressing into his skin.

Sebastian swallows. He feels everything—your warmth, your weight against him, the way your fingers curl slightly against his forearm, the way your perfume is mixing with the sweat on your skin, and fuck—

He clenches his jaw. Keeps walking.

You don’t let go.

“That was such a good show,” you murmur, your breath warm against his shoulder.

Sebastian swallows. Nods. “Yeah.”

Then you tilt your head up at him, narrowing your eyes.

“You’re being so quiet,” you tease, squeezing his arm. “Did you not have fun? You didn’t even get a single drink.”

Sebastian exhales sharply through his nose, smirking just enough to cover the fact that his pulse is pounding.

“Yeah, well. One of us had to drive.”

You laugh, nudging your hip against his.

“Responsible and sexy,” you tease. “God, you really are the whole package, aren't you?”

His throat goes dry.

You always do this when you're tipsy. You get flirty, bolder than usual, pushing boundaries you'll never fully cross. You say things, teasing, reckless things, that curl around his ribs and settle deep into the spaces between them. Things that would mean everything if he thought, even for a second, that you meant them.

But you don't. You never do. By morning, it'll be like it never happened.

You'll wake up, groggy and hungover, your memories softened at the edges, and everything you said, every look and every touch, will be reduce to a joke, and Sebastian will have to pretend it didn't mean anything to him either, just like he always does.

He knows this.

But tonight? Tonight, it’s harder to keep his head on straight.

Because you look like this. Because your boyfriend isn’t here. Because your fingers are wrapped around his arm, and your perfume is still lingering in his lungs, and you keep staring up at him like you’re waiting for him to say something. Like you’re daring him to say something.

Sebastian forces out a low chuckle, looking away.

“Let’s get you in the car, trouble.”

He unlocks it with a quick flick of his keys, grateful for the distraction, for something to do with his hands other than wrap them around your waist and haul you up against him.

He slides into the driver’s seat and barely gets the door shut before you’re groaning dramatically and stretching out.

“Oh my god,” you sigh, reaching down with clumsy fingers to unbuckle your heels. “I swear to Merlin, I think my feet are broken.”

Sebastian smirks, watching as you yank them off one by one, dropping them onto the floor with two loud, echoing clunks.

“Told you,” he mutters, reaching for his seatbelt.

“I don’t need your attitude right now,” you huff, kicking your feet up onto the dashboard before twisting to face him.

Then, before he can even register what’s happening, you shift—leaning over the center console, stretching yourself across his lap like you belong there.

His entire body locks up.

Fuck.

Your hair spills over his legs, soft waves spread over denim, the warmth of you pressed against him. You twist a little, adjusting yourself, completely oblivious to how every tiny shift of your body is undoing him.

Sebastian exhales sharply through his nose, staring straight ahead, gripping the wheel like it’s the only thing tethering him to sanity.

“You comfortable?” he mutters.

You hum, smiling lazily, your cheek resting on his thigh.

“Mhm.”

His pulse jumps at the sound, but you’re not even thinking about it, are you? You’re not thinking about what it means, or about how he can feel the heat of your body through his jeans, how desperately he’s trying not to not get hard right now, how much he wants—

He exhales sharply, tilts his head back against the headrest, and fights the urge to slam his fist against the dashboard.

This is going to kill me.

Sebastian puts the car in drive.

Your place is only twenty minutes out of town. All Sebastian has to do is survive you laying across his lap and not get pulled over for the blatant seat belt violation happening right now. Simple.

Except it’s not.

Because every time he shifts gears, he feels you. And every time he exhales, he catches the scent of your shampoo, and because your breath is warm through his jeans, your fingers idly tracing along his thigh like this is just something you do, something normal, something casual, something it absolutely isn’t.

Then you start talking, and part one of his mission—survive you being in his lap—becomes infinitely harder.

“You ever think about your exes?”

Your voice is light, teasing, and the question comes out of nowhere.

Sebastian’s grip tightens on the wheel. “Like who?” he mutters.

You hum, fingertips still lazily dragging patterns over his thigh.

“Emilia?” you guess. “Or what about… what was her name? Harper?”

Sebastian scoffs, his pulse pounding. “Not even a little."

You grin like you don’t believe him. “Not even for the—"

“Don’t.”

You huff a dramatic sigh. “Sebastian, it’s okay if you still think about them.”

“I don’t.”

That’s the truth.

Because he doesn’t think about Emilia. Or Harper. Or any of them. Not when every girl he’s ever been with has only been a placeholder for the one person he can’t fucking have.

You hum. "I miss some of mine."

Sebastian exhales sharply, jaw flexing.

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

He should not be listening to this, but you keep talking, your voice low, thoughtful, the alcohol making you too loose, too honest.

“I mean, not them, really,” you continue. “Just, like… the sex.”

Sebastian almost veers off the fucking road.

He physically has to adjust his grip on the wheel, blinking hard against the heat that flares in his gut, against the way his brain immediately starts supplying images he shouldn’t be thinking about.

You miss the sex. Not the relationship. Not the romance.

The sex.

“You literally have a boyfriend,” he grinds out, his voice tight.

He hears you exhale, feels you shift slightly in his lap. “So what?”

Sebastian finally glances down at you, just for a second, just to make sure he actually heard you right. Because you can’t be serious.

But you are.

You’re staring at him, lips parted, the distant glow of headlights and streetlamps casting golden light over your face.

Sebastian lets out a short, humorless laugh. “'So what'?” he repeats, shaking his head. “Jesus, you really are drunk.”

You make a small, amused noise, your fingers tapping idly against your thigh.

“I’m not that drunk,” you murmur.

Sebastian exhales sharply through his nose. “Yeah?” he mutters. “Could’ve fooled me.��

You scoff, rolling your eyes. “I just meant that some of my exes have been better in bed than him, that's all."

Sebastian hums noncommittally, keeping his eyes on the road, but his grip on the wheel is tight. Because what the fuck is he supposed to do with that information?

On one hand—good. He’d never liked your boyfriend anyway. The guy was mediocre at best, the kind of safe, boring choice you made when you were trying to convince yourself you wanted stability instead of passion. On the other—

Sebastian doesn’t exactly want to hear about how great some other guy’s dick was.

But the damage is already done. Because now, he’s thinking about it. Thinking about you with them, thinking about the ones who were better, wondering what made them better.

Was it how they touched you? How they talked to you? Was it the way they knew exactly how to pull you apart, how to ruin you? Was it—

The sensible thing to do is change the subject. Ignore it. Pretend you never said it and focus on not losing his goddamn mind while you’re still draped across him, still warm against his lap, still too close.

But then—because he’s a fucking idiot—the words slip out before he can stop them.

“Who was best?”

You stretch a little, completely oblivious to the way every tiny movement of yours is sending heat pooling in his gut.

“Well,” you muse, eyes glinting with something dangerous, “do you want, like, a ranked list? Or just an all-time favorite?”

Sebastian exhales sharply through his nose. “You know what? Forget I asked.”

“No, no,” you tease, scooting up slightly. “You asked. You wanna know.”

I really fucking don’t.

But he stays silent. Because some stupid, masochistic part of him actually does.

You pretend to think for a moment, eyes flicking to the windshield, lips curving in a way that’s going to fucking kill him.

“Probably Caleb,” you finally say, voice thoughtful, casual, like you’re discussing a meal you once had instead of someone who used to fuck you.

Sebastian hates how his stomach twists.

“Caleb,” he repeats, expression unreadable.

“Yeah.”

Sebastian shifts his grip on the wheel, fighting the urge to roll his shoulders, shake off the tension creeping up his spine.

He remembers Caleb.

Tall. Broad-shouldered. Stupid fit. A Muggle who played rugby at Uni. Arsehole.

He also remembers how pissed he was when you first started seeing him, how much he fucking hated the way Caleb used to pull you into his lap at parties like he owned you.

Sebastian clears his throat. “Huh.”

You grin, shifting again, your hand brushing against Sebastian's arm now. “He was good."

"Why?"

The question slips out before he can stop it and you smirk, and Sebastian knows—he knows—he’s about to regret asking.

“He was just…” you hum, tilting your head like you’re choosing your words carefully. “He was… I don’t know. Rough, I guess? He liked taking control. Giving orders. That kind of thing.”

Sebastian grips the wheel so hard it might snap in half.

Because now he’s picturing it. Picturing you, pressed down against a bed, hips pinned, whimpering, gasping, hands gripping sheets, your voice breathy as you—

Stop.

Sebastian's jaw locks, his pulse hammering at his throat. “I didn’t need that image, thanks."

You laugh softly. "Why not? I thought maybe you wanted to take notes."

He laughs, low and dry, shaking his head. “In your dreams.”

Your smirk widens. “Mm. Definitely in my dreams."

Sebastian nearly groans.

Because fuck you for saying that. For laughing softly, for dragging your fingers against his stomach as you shift again, like you can’t stop pressing yourself against him. For smirking when you say it, for the way your voice dips, lower, softer, like you’re confessing something, like you’re actually being honest.

Sebastian holds in a sigh. He is not playing this game.

Because you’re drunk, and you’re not thinking about what you’re saying, and in the morning, you won’t remember how you said it, how your voice curled around the words like you meant them, and because your fucking boyfriend is waiting for you to get home.

So he laughs, low, dry, dismissive.

“Sure,” he mutters. “That’s a nice little fantasy you got there.”

“You’re such a dick,” you say, still amused.

Sebastian hums, flicking the turn signal as he veers onto the quiet stretch of road leading out of town.

Eight more minutes.

Just eight more minutes and he can drop you off. He can shake off the feeling of your fingers grazing his stomach through his t-shirt and of your weight pressing against his lap like it’s the most normal fucking thing in the world.

Eight more minutes and this night will be over.

Then you speak again.

"...Have you ever thought about it?"

“Thought about what?”

You grin, and it’s slow, lazy, dangerous.

“Us,” you say simply.

Sebastian stiffens.

Has he thought about it?

Fuck, he’s spent years trying not to think about it.

Not to think about you pressed beneath him, his hands gripping your waist, his mouth dragging over your skin, your voice breathy in his ear. Not to think about the way you’d sound, the way you’d fall apart, the way you’d look wrecked and flushed and fucking perfect. Not to think about how you’d feel under his hands, under his mouth, how you’d—

Sebastian shoves the thought away violently.

Exhales.

He's not about to tell you that.

“No.”

You laugh softly. Sebastian’s jaw tenses. And then you sit up, just a little, your breath warm against his neck.

“I have,” you say.

Sebastian stops breathing, his pulse slamming against his ribs as he flicks his gaze toward you—just for a second, just long enough to see the way you’re looking at him.

You’re not laughing now. There’s no teasing smirk, no smugness either.

Sebastian swallows hard, forcing his eyes back to the road, trying to think, trying to process, trying to decide if this is real or just another one of your drunken, fleeting moments that won’t mean a damn thing in the morning.

Then your hands move, fingers dragging down his chest, slow, deliberate, your touch featherlight but undeniable.

Sebastian grits his teeth, forcing himself to focus, forcing himself to keep the car steady, forcing himself to—

Your fingertips graze the waistband of his jeans, hooking slightly under the hem, and that’s it.

Sebastian's hand shoots out, gripping your wrist, stopping you.

The car is silent. Just the hum of the engine. Just the sound of both of you breathing hard.

He exhales, slow, controlled. But when he speaks, his voice is wrecked.

“Don’t.”

A pause.

"Why not?"

"Because you don't mean it," he mutters, voice rough, like he’s forcing the words out through sheer willpower.

"...What if I do mean it?"

Sebastian slams on the brakes. The car jerks to a stop, tires skidding slightly on the empty country road, the sudden silence deafening.

He stares at you, his pulse hammering, his breath coming too short, too fast.

"Are you fucking with me?"

"Do I look like I’m fucking with you?"

Sebastian exhales hard through his nose.

Yes. No. Maybe. Fuck if he knows.

Because this is what you do.

You flirt. You tease. You get close, just close enough to ruin him, and then you pull away like it never meant anything at all. And right now, you’re still in his lap with your fingers still hooked in his jeans and your breath hot against his neck, and this... this is dangerous. If you’re joking, if this is just another round of you pushing boundaries you never actually mean to cross, it will break him.

Sebastian tightens his grip on your wrist just for a second—just long enough to make sure you’re listening, really fucking listening.

“This isn’t a joke,” he says, voice rough, uneven. “This isn’t a game, it's not—”

"Sebastian."

Suddenly, you don’t seem drunk at all.

The teasing lilt in your voice disappears, evaporating into the thick silence between you. There’s no lazy amusement, no coy smirk tugging at the corner of your lips, no playful glint in your eyes like there always is when you push him just to see how far he’ll let you go. It’s all gone.

Instead, you are sharp, your gaze cutting through the dim light of the car, slicing right into him.

Sebastian feels the shift like a physical thing, like the weight of something heavy pressing down on his chest. His grip tightens on the wheel out of instinct, like it’s the only thing keeping him grounded, but it does nothing to steady him.

Because suddenly, you are steady.

You pull back just slightly, just enough to give him an out, to give him space, but you don’t really go anywhere. You are still there, your body still warm on his, your breathing still uneven, just like his. You simply leave just enough distance between you for him to feel it, the unbearable stretch of space that’s always existed, the one he has spent years pretending doesn’t hurt.

For a moment, you just look at him.

Sebastian sees the hesitation in your expression, the flicker of uncertainty in the way your mouth parts slightly, like you’re on the verge of speaking but don’t quite know how. You look like you’re standing at the edge of something dangerous, like you’re deciding whether to step back or let yourself fall.

Then, you inhale. Slow, measured, determined. And you let it all out.

"I’ve always imagined it was you," you say, voice quiet but unwavering, like you've already made peace with the confession before it even leaves your lips. "Every single time I’ve had sex since I lost my virginity, I’ve imagined it was you."

Sebastian’s stomach plummets, and for a split second, he genuinely wonders if he’s actually dead. If he crashed the fucking car and this is what the afterlife feels like—sitting in the driver’s seat with his best friend sprawled across his lap, admitting the thing he has spent years torturing himself over.

You keep going.

"If hell is real, I’m fucking damned," you huff a laugh, your voice coming out rough, frayed at the edges, "because I’ve touched myself to you more than any reasonable amount."

Sebastian makes a wrecked sound in the back of his throat, one that he barely recognizes as his own. His hands clench into fists at his sides, fingers twitching like they don’t know what to do with themselves. Because what the fuck is he supposed to do with this With you?

You're rewriting everything, burning down every carefully constructed wall he has built to keep himself from wanting you too much.

And then you land the final fucking blow.

"You want the truth? I’ve been in love with you since we were fifteen," you whisper. "And I want nothing more than for you to take me home at least one fucking time."

Sebastian’s body locks up. His vision tilts. Everything inside him goes too tight, too hot, too overwhelming. His fingers are trembling. His pulse is out of control. His mouth is dry.

No, this isn't a game, or some some drunken, fleeting moment. This isn’t a joke.

This is real.

And he doesn’t know how to breathe.

You let out a short, humorless laugh, shaking your head. "And I get it if you don’t feel the same," you say, voice softer now, almost like you don’t want to say it, almost like the idea is too painful, "if that’s why you’re acting like this, then I get it."

You laugh again, except this time it’s self-deprecating and bitter. "I mean, for fuck’s sake," you mutter. "I’ve got a boyfriend anyway. This is so fucked up, I know. I just, I don’t know what happened. But something inside me snapped and I can’t hold back any longer."

Sebastian’s jaw tightens. Because yeah, this is so fucking fucked up. And yeah, you do have a boyfriend and he is literally waiting at home for you right now. But Sebastian doesn’t have it in him to care.

Because you love him.

For ten years, he’s wanted this. Ten fucking years of pretending, of ignoring, of pushing it down so deep it nearly killed him. Every drunken flirtation, every lingering touch, every fucking time you smiled at him with that look in your eyes that made him wonder if you wanted it too, and now he knows you did. Knows you do.

And you—

Fuck, you think he doesn’t feel the same?!

"Just forget I said anything," you mumble. "Seriously. I don’t know what I was thinking, I—"

Before you can talk yourself further into this spiral, Sebastian's hand shoots out, gripping your wrist.

You freeze.

He exhales sharply through his nose, his grip tight, his pulse racing, erratic, wild. Then, his voice low, rough, wrecked beyond repair—

"I've been in love with you since we were fifteen, too."

Your lips part, barely breathing, completely still, like you’re trying to process the weight of those words, like you’ve lived in a reality where that wasn’t true for so long that you don’t know how to exist in one where it is.

And then your face crumbles.

"Sebastian," you whisper, voice breaking, shattered.

And that’s it. That’s fucking it.

Sebastian crushes his mouth against yours.

It’s not slow. It’s not careful. It’s ten years of frustration, ten years of jealousy, of biting his tongue, of pretending he didn’t want you, and ten years of believing he could never have you—all of it, all at once, breaking loose, crashing down.

And you kiss him back.

Hard.

Desperate.

Your hands grip his shoulders, his jaw, fisting into his hair as you pull him closer, closer, like you need this just as badly as he does, like you’re starving for him.

Sebastian groans into your mouth, swallowing the sound of you gasping against his lips, swallowing everything he’s ever wanted from you.

His mouth moves to your jaw, trailing down your neck, sucking a dark, bruising mark against your pulse point just to hear you whimper.

"Tell me again," he growls against your skin, voice rough, demanding.

Your nails dig into his arms, your breath uneven, panting.

"Tell me again how you've thought about me," he mutters, dragging his lips up to your ear. "How you imagined it was me," he rasps, fingers slipping under the hem of your top, gripping your bare waist.

You let out a soft, broken whimper, your fingers curling into his hair and pulling. He grips your jaw, tilting your head so you have no choice but to look at him.

Your lips part, eyes glassy, dark, and fucking desperate. "I imagined you every time."

Sebastian throws the car into reverse.

Because he’s not taking you back to your pathetic excuse of a boyfriend. Not when you’ve spent the entire night driving him insane, not when you're touching him, teasing him, whispering in his ear about the exes you never actually wanted because they weren't him.

Not when you just told him you’ve loved him for a decade.

No, he’s taking you home, and the second he gets you there, he’s going to ruin you.

You blink at him, dazed, lips kiss-bitten and swollen, still straddling his lap.

“Where are we going?” you ask breathlessly.

Sebastian’s grip tightens on your waist as he turns the wheel.

“My place."

Your eyes darken, and then your hands are everywhere—fisting into his hair, sliding down his chest, curling under the hem of his t-shirt like you need to feel his skin and touch as much of him as possible.

You trail hot, open-mouthed kisses down his jaw, your breath warm, wrecked, and he groans, tipping his head back slightly as your teeth graze his throat.

“Fuck,” he mutters, barely able to focus on the road as your hands wander lower.

You shift in his lap, your thighs spreading over him, and Sebastian hisses, cursing under his breath as you press down against him, rolling your hips just slightly.

And then your hands move lower.

Your fingers trace the waistband of his jeans, toying with the button, flicking it open. His hips jerk up instinctively and your laugh is breathy, lips grazing against his jaw.

“You drive too well for someone getting felt up,” you murmur against his skin, your voice all smug amusement and heat and fucking destruction as you drag a hand over the bulge in his jeans.

Sebastian groans, a deep, wrecked sound in his throat, his hips jerking into your palm despite himself.

“Fuck, don’t—”

“Don’t what?”

Sebastian slams his fist against the steering wheel, jaw clenched, desperate to focus, desperate to not lose his mind completely.

"If you keep doing that," he growls, low, warning, "I'm gonna pull over and fuck you in this car."

Your breath catches. Sebastian watches as your pupils blow wide, lips parting slightly, grip on him tightening.

His cock twitches in his jeans.

Jesus fucking Christ.

The drive to his place is the longest fifteen minutes of his fucking life. By the time he pulls into his driveway, he’s barely holding himself together.

His jeans are too tight, his body is on fire, his pulse is a reckless, unforgiving thing pounding against his skin, and you—you are still in his lap, still pressed against him, still dragging your lips over his jaw, still palming over him, still teasing, still ruining him.

Sebastian barely gets the car into park before he’s gripping your hips, hauling you against him, mouthing at your throat like he’s starved for it.

You gasp, fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer, rocking your hips over his lap like you’re hellbent on making him suffer.

And he lets you. For ten long fucking seconds, he lets you.

Lets you grind down on him, lets you drag your nails over his scalp, lets you press hot, open-mouthed kisses against his jaw, lets you whisper his name against his lips, against his skin, against his fucking soul.

Then—

“Inside,” he mutters, voice rough, strained beyond repair.

You blink at him, dazed, breath uneven and wanting. And fuck, he’s never wanted anything more than this. More than you.

The second he pulls you out of the car, you laugh, breathless, fingers gripping his shirt, swaying slightly in his grasp.

Sebastian catches you easily, one arm sliding low over your waist, his palm pressing into the soft curve of your hip, and fuck, he loves the way you feel against him, like you were meant to be there.

You tilt your head back, looking at him through half-lidded, dark-lashed eyes, “You gonna fuck me out here?” you murmur, smirking as you lean up, breath warm against his throat.

Sebastian groans, his hands tightening on you. “Don’t tempt me.”

You giggle, bright and shameless, dragging your nails down his chest, lower, lower, until he’s grabbing your wrist and tugging you along.

The second the front door closes, Sebastian is on you.

His hands in your hair, his mouth crashing against yours, his hips pressing you against the door as he kisses you so hard it knocks the breath from your lungs.

And you moan into it, fisting your hands in his shirt, dragging him closer, biting at his lower lip.

Sebastian growls, pressing into you, his knee slipping between your thighs, forcing them apart.

You let out a whimper, grinding down against him, your fingers tugging at the hem of his t-shirt, pushing it up, trying to get it off.

Sebastian laughs, breathless, rough, dragging his lips down your jaw, sucking another mark onto your throat just to hear you gasp.

“You’re impatient, aren’t you?”

You huff, rolling your hips against his thigh, lips curled into something dark, something smug, something absolutely fucking ruinous.

“You’ve made me wait a decade, Sebastian.”

Sebastian’s grip tightens. and then he’s lifting you, hands firm under your thighs, carrying you through the house like he’s done this a hundred times before, like deep down he’s always known exactly where this was going to end.

You laugh again, thrilled, breathless, arms wrapped tight around his neck as he kicks open his bedroom door and drops you onto the bed.

Sebastian stands at the edge of it, looking down at you—panting, flushed, wild-eyed, ruined before he’s even touched you properly.

You smirk.

“You just gonna stand there, Sallow?”

Sebastian smiles, dark and dangerous. Then he’s crawling over you, one knee pressing between your thighs, his hands bracketing your face, his lips ghosting over yours, teasing, testing, torturing.

His voice is low, a promise, a warning.

“Not a fucking chance.”

He takes your mouth again, swallowing your breathy little gasps as he kisses you deep, slow at first, dragging his tongue against yours, learning the taste of you, the heat of you, memorizing this moment in case the world ends tomorrow and this is all he ever gets.

And you fucking moan.

Loud and wrecked and needy, and it does something to him, something devastating, something that makes him tilt his hips down, pressing into you properly, rolling against you in a way that makes you gasp against his lips.

“Fuck, Sebastian—”

His fingers work automatically, popping the button of your jeans, sliding the zipper down, tugging the fabric past your hips—revealing more, more, more.

Sebastian has seen you a thousand times—in every possible way, in every possible light.

Drunk off your ass at parties, laughing with your head thrown back, cheeks flushed, eyeliner smudged from the heat of the room. Half-asleep, curled up in the passenger seat of his car, your fingers twitching as you dream. Post-workout, sweaty and flushed, hair stuck to your forehead, chest rising and falling as you try to catch your breath. Dressed to the nines for some god-awful date with some guy who wasn’t him, your perfume lingering in his car long after he dropped you off.

And yet, he’s never seen you like this.

Laid out in his bed, your lips swollen, your chest rising and falling in quick, uneven breaths, your jeans halfway down your legs beneath his hands, the anticipation humming between you so thick it feels like drowning.

You’re reaching for your top, fingers curling around the hem, ready to peel it off—not that it ever hid much anyway.

Sebastian should help you. He should be the one ripping that top off, the one dragging it up and over your head with shaking fingers and an aching hunger that’s been simmering under his skin for years.

But he doesn’t. He just watches as you pull it up slowly, revealing more, more, more.

His mouth goes dry.

Sebastian can’t stop looking.

You are a masterpiece.

Soft and plush, all curves and warmth, the kind of body meant to be touched, gripped, worshiped. The gentle rise and fall of your breath makes your stomach shift beneath the dim bedroom light, and fuck, he wants to put his hands there, feel the way your skin gives under his palms, kiss every inch of it. Your thighs—thick, full, fucking perfect—press against his thigh, and he thinks about spreading them, about feeling them squeeze around his waist, about sinking his teeth into them just to hear the way you’d gasp. Your hips, generous, tempting, made for his hands, make his fingers dig into the sheets, because all he can think about is gripping them, holding you down, guiding you. Your breasts, full and heavy, barely contained by the sheer lace of your bra, stretch against the fabric, making his vision tilt, his pulse hammer, his restraint fucking snap.

And then there’s everything else—the parts of you that make his chest ache, make his stomach tighten, make him wonder how the fuck he’s supposed to survive this. The stretch marks that paint your skin in soft, pale ribbons, evidence of time, of change, of life of a body that has existed beside him for years, growing, shifting, becoming something that was always beautiful but now feels like it was made for him. The softness that wasn’t there when you were younger, but grew with you, grew beside him, shaped by late-night drive-thrus, three too many beers, appetizers you never hesitated to share with him, the comfort of knowing you never had to shrink yourself. The dimples, the dips, the folds where your skin creases when you move, the evidence of a life fully lived, of a body that has only ever been yours—until now. Until him.

And you—you’re wearing a matching set. Black lace. Thin straps. Delicate details that don’t really hide a damn thing.

"Look at you," Sebastian says breathlessly, fingers tracing along the edge of your underwear, teasing. "Dressed up all pretty. You knew, didn’t you?"

You hum, lazily smug, shifting your hips just slightly, just enough to make his brain fucking short-circuit.

"Maybe," you murmur, biting your lip. "Maybe I wanted to be prepared."

Sebastian’s breath stutters, something deep, something dangerous curling in his gut, something possessive and wrecking and unbearable, because fuck—

Prepared? Did you know you were confessing him tonight? Did you get dressed for this moment? Or is he just filling your boyfriend's shoes?

His stomach twists, the thought curdling in his chest, bitter and raw, but then—

Does it matter? Because you're his now.

Sebastian leans in, pressing his mouth to the soft swell of your stomach, dragging his lips along your skin, his fingers curling into your thighs, his breath hot, his hands desperate.

“God, you have no fucking idea how much I love your body, do you?"

You make a wrecked little sound, your hands tangling in his hair, pulling.

Sebastian grins against your skin, dark and dangerous, pressing his lips lower, biting, sucking, making sure he leaves marks, making sure you feel exactly how much he’s wanted this.

You shift beneath him, breathless, giggling as your fingers find the hem of his shirt.

"Only fair," you murmur, tugging at the fabric, your voice teasing, expectant.

Sebastian huffs out a breathless laugh, shaking his head, but he lets you drag it up, lets you peel it off him, lets you look.

Because of course you should get to look.

He just wasn’t expecting to care so fucking much.

Call him arrogant, but he’s always known he’s good-looking. It’s never been a secret.

The wrong women (everyone but you) have always flocked to him like moths to a flame, drawn to the sharpness of his jaw, the cut of his smirk, the way he carries himself with an easy confidence that makes it seem like he never second-guesses a damn thing.

But this? This is different.

Sebastian never had trouble maintaining a trim figure back at Hogwarts, never gave it much thought beyond Quidditch and dueling and running from the consequences of his own goddamn actions. But adulthood claimed him differently, and that Sallow metabolism slowed to a crawl.

Sebastian is not lean.

And normally? That doesn’t bother him. Normally? He doesn’t care.

But right now, under your hands, under your gaze, in his bed—he does.

Because you’ve always been the most stunning fucking person he’s ever known. Because you could have anyone, and you always did.

Rugby players. Duellists. Healers who spend their breaks lifting weights instead of eating lunch. The kind of men who look like they were chiseled out of stone, sculpted into something untouchable, untouchable except for you—because you’ve had them.

Those were your exes.

And now here Sebastian is, broader, heavier in places they weren’t, softer in places they weren’t. Because he’s never been the type to count macros or meal prep or wake up at the ass crack of dawn to run five miles before work.

He’s still strong, sure—Auror training keeps him fit. But he’s also a man who doesn’t think twice about splitting a second plate of chips with you at dinner, who always finishes your leftovers because “wasting food is a crime”, who drinks pints after work without a second thought, who fills out his shirts more than he used to, who carries weight in his chest, his stomach, his thighs.

And now, here he is—bare in front of you. And you’re staring.

Sebastian wants to say something. Wants to make a joke, wants to shift your focus, wants to ignore the way something unsteady coils in his gut when your gaze drags over him—

Then you breathe out, soft, awed, wrecked.

"Fuck."

Sebastian freezes.

Your hands reach out, palms flattening against his chest, sliding over his skin, tracing down his stomach, your fingers pressing into the flesh there—

"You’re so fucking hot, Sebastian," you murmur, breathless, desperate, like you’re telling him the most obvious thing in the world.

He swallows, something rough and wrecked and disbelieving curling in his chest. "Yeah?"

You hum, dragging your hands back up his chest, your fingers tracing the freckles there, the muscle, the places where he’s softer than he used to be, pressing your lips just below his collarbone.

"Always have been," you hum. "But it's been really fucking unbearable the last few years."

Sebastian laughs, breathless, disbelieving, staring down at you like you just told him the sky is green, like you just shattered some fundamental truth about the universe.

Because fuck off—you’re serious? The last few years?

Oh. Oh. you have a thing for him like this—not when he was lean, not when he was a wiry, arrogant little shit back at Hogwarts, but now. Now, when he’s bigger, broader, heavier.

Something dark, something deeply satisfied, something possessive coils in his chest.

“Oh,” he smirks, his voice low, rough with amusement, with understanding, with something sharp and teasing. “So this is what you’re into?”

You blink up at him, your hands still roaming his chest, and fuck, you look ruined.

Sebastian lets out another low, rough chuckle, dragging his fingers down your body, spreading his weight over you, pinning you to the bed. He grabs your wrists, pressing them above your head, trapping them against the pillows.

“You mean to tell me,” he murmurs, lips hovering just above yours, teasing, testing, “that while you were off fucking all those blokes—”

You inhale sharply, your lips parting, your body arching subtly under him.

“—those assholes with their six-pack abs, the dueling champions, professional fucking athletes—”

You whimper softly, and fuck, he feels it. Feels the way your body reacts to him—not to them, not to some long-lost ex, not to your boyfriend, but to him, to his voice, to his weight pressing you into the mattress.

His grin turns wicked.

“You were picturing this?” he teases, his grip tightening just enough to make you shiver. "Me? All soft and heavy and fucking desperate for you?"

Your breath stutters, your thighs twitching against his hips.

Sebastian chuckles, dragging his lips back up to your ear, smirking when he feels the shiver that runs through you.

"And here I was, thinking I let myself go," he mutters.

Your breath hitches, but before you can say anything, he’s pressing a hot, open-mouthed kiss to your throat, sucking a mark there, then another, and another, branding you, making sure you remember this, making sure you feel it.

Your wrists twitch in his grip, but he doesn’t let you move.

Sebastian fucking loves it. Loves the way you squirm, the way your lips part, the way your chest rises and falls in uneven little breaths, the way you’re looking up at him like you don’t even know how to handle what’s happening to you right now.

His smirk deepens. “Tell me, love,” he murmurs, dragging his lips down your jaw, his teeth grazing your throat, “if this is what you wanted all along, why the fuck did you waste all that time with them?"

Your lips part, your expression flickering between dazed, ruined, and incredulous. And then you scoff.

"Because you weren’t fucking me, Sallow."

Sebastian freezes for a beat. Then two.

Then he laughs—low, rough, something almost mean curling at the edges of it. "No," he murmurs, dragging his lips down your throat, grazing his teeth against your pulse. "I wasn’t. But I am now."

You shudder beneath him, your body arching against his in some helpless, desperate little movement that goes straight to his cock.

"Impatient, are we?" he murmurs, smirking against your skin.

You huff a breathless laugh, hips shifting beneath him, fingers flexing in his grip. "You’ve made me wait ten years. Figure it out."

"You're not the only one who waited, you know—"

Sebastian barely gets the words out before you tug your hands free, fingers reaching for his jeans, already undone from your teasing in the car. And he should be savoring this—should be dragging this out, making you beg for it, for him, for all of it—but you're already shoving his jeans past his hips, and he loses the ability to think entirely.

Then your hand slips beneath the waistband of his briefs, and Sebastian’s entire body tenses, his breath catching as your fingers curl around the length of him, teasing, testing.

“Christ,” he exhales, shuddering, his forehead dropping to yours.

Your eyes flick up to his, and the way you look at him—blown pupils, parted lips, your expression equal parts fascinated and utterly fucking desperate—it makes his cock twitch in your grasp.

He can’t fucking handle this.

His fingers tighten on your thighs, his jaw clenching, his entire body burning with the effort it’s taking not to lose himself completely.

Sebastian grabs your wrist, halting your movements, his grip firm but gentle.

Your brows lift slightly, breathless.

“Seb?”

His smirk is wicked, possessive, completely wrecked. He leans down, dragging his nose along the curve of your jaw, his lips brushing your ear.

"If we're going to do anything," Sebastian exhales sharply. "We might as well fuck. Otherwise, this'll be over before it even starts."

“Oh,” you breathe, dragging your nails lightly down his stomach.

"We've waited ten years for this," he murmurs, dragging his tongue along your skin, feeling the way you shudder. His voice drops lower, rougher, teasing. "So let's make it worth our while."

Your breath catches, your nails pressing into his skin as you tip your head back against the pillow, blinking up at him like you’re still trying to process this moment—this night, this reality where you’re here beneath him, breathless and wanting, where he’s finally allowed to touch you like this.

And then you grin, a little dazed, a little breathless, completely wrecked already, and say:

“Holy shit, we’re actually about to fuck.”

You both freeze, eyes locking, and then you both start laughing, some combination of nerves and disbelief and a decade of waiting for this exact moment finally crashing down at once.

“God,” Sebastian mutters, shaking his head as he presses his forehead against yours, still grinning, still feeling that wrecked, desperate thing curling low in his stomach. “That’s what you have to say right now?”

You giggle, your fingers smoothing over his shoulders, down his chest. “I mean—come on, this is so surreal.”

Sebastian scoffs, nipping at your jaw, pressing a rough, open-mouthed kiss to your throat, humming when you shiver beneath him.

“Oh, I’ll make it real, love, don’t worry.”

And then he’s moving again, hands everywhere, fingers slipping beneath the lace of your bra, under the waistband of your thong, tugging the fabric down your shoulders.

His breath hitches as your breasts spill free, full and heavy and perfect, your soft curves shifting beneath him, and he can’t stop staring. He feels greedy, like he needs both hands, both lips, every fucking inch of him touching every fucking inch of you.

His fingers brush over the swell of them, thumbing over one hardened nipple, and you let out a soft, breathy little sound that nearly kills him on the spot.

And then your eyes flick down, your breath catching, because he’s still in his briefs, but they’re pointless at this point, and you can see exactly how fucking gone he is for you already.

Your lips part, eyes widening slightly, voice soft, awed, wrecked—

“Oh, fuck.”

Sebastian snaps his gaze up to you, brows lifting.

“What?”

You swallow, blinking at his broad chest, his stomach, his cock aching against the fabric.

“Just trying to wrap my head around the fact that my best friend is secretly built like a fucking god,” you say, laughing breathlessly, teasing, and yet completely, unabashedly honest.

Sebastian laughs, shaking his head like he can’t believe you. “Oh, I’ll remember that,” he says, voice thick with amusement, with something darker curling at the edges. “Next time you decide to insult me, I’ll remind you that you said that.”

You grin, tilting your head back against the pillow, watching him through half-lidded eyes.

“I mean,” you hum, dragging your nails lightly down his chest, “the evidence is pretty overwhelming.”

Sebastian groans, dropping his forehead to your shoulder for a second. "And here I thought you preferred the blokes built like Roman statues." He hums, dragging his lips lower, pressing open, slow kisses over your collarbone, between the swell of your breasts. “Should’ve known better, huh?” he murmurs, teasing, grinning against your skin. "Turns out my best mate likes them thick."

You huff a laugh, but it breaks into a whimper when he finally closes his lips around one pert, sensitive nipple, sucking, dragging his tongue over it, groaning when your back arches beautifully into him.

"Apparently," You mutter breathlessly, "You do too."

“Fuck yeah, I do,” he mutters, smirking, tracing the soft curve of your hip, gripping, kneading. “I've always known that. You've been ruining my life with it for years."

You meet his eyes, and your mouth curves into something downright sinful. “Yeah? So why the hell didn’t you do something about it sooner?”

Sebastian barely gets a breath in before you’re pushing him back, shifting your weight, twisting your body beneath him until he’s the one sinking against the headboard, his back hitting the pillows.

He exhales sharply, blown, wrecked, barely processing how fast you move—or the fact that you just fucking flipped him like that.

"Bossy little thing," he mutters, grinning, but his voice is hoarse, completely fucking ruined.

You straddle his thighs, pressing your hands into his chest, pinning him down like you’re making sure he doesn’t move.

And fuck. Sebastian just lets you. Lets you crawl over him, lets you drag your lips down his chest, his stomach, kissing and teasing and taking your fucking time.

He groans, his head tipping back, his hands twitching at his sides because he wants to touch you, wants to grip your hips, drag you back over him, but he doesn’t want to stop you, doesn’t want to break whatever the fuck this is.

His breath stutters when you press a slow, deliberate kiss over the curve of his hip, your fingers hooking into the waistband of his briefs, tugging, teasing.

Sebastian curses under his breath, his jaw clenched tight, his entire body drawn so tight with tension he thinks he might actually fucking die.

"Jesus," he mutters, his hands flexing at his sides.

You hum against his skin, dragging your nails over his stomach, over his thighs, soaking in the way his muscles twitch beneath you.

And then you drag his briefs down, past his hips, past his thighs, down enough to free him.

Sebastian groans, eyes slamming shut, jaw clenching as the cool air hits him, as he feels the weight of himself resting heavy against his stomach, already aching, already dripping for you.

And you just fucking stare, mouth parting slightly, eyes dragging down the length of him, slow, heavy-lidded, like you’re trying to process what you’re looking at.

Sebastian cracks one eye open, breath ragged, and he can’t help but smirk. His voice comes out low, rough, teasing—

“What is it?" He grins, tilting his head, watching the way your gaze flicks over him, the way you press your thighs together.

You exhale sharply, blinking like you need a second to find words.

“Oh, fuck.”

Sebastian laughs, full and deep, completely and utterly smug.

"Shit," you mutter, shaking your head slightly, still staring, like you're recalibrating your entire fucking world.

Sebastian grins, dragging a lazy hand down his stomach, wrapping his fingers loosely around himself, stroking once, slow, teasing.

"See something you like, sweetheart?" he murmurs, voice thick with wolfish amusement.

You snap your gaze up to his, glaring. "Fuck off." But your voice is breathless, wanting, wrecked.

Sebastian chuckles, tilting his head back, completely in love with the fact that you are absolutely, completely undone over him.

Then— then you lick your lips, and Sebastian stops fucking breathing.

You lean down, hands gripping his thighs as your tongue flicks over the head of his cock, licking up the sticky precum already there, your lips barely grazing the sensitive tip.

“Fuck,” Sebastian groans, his hands flying to your hair, fingers tightening, but you’re not done yet.

You swirl your tongue over him again, slow, deliberate, your nails dragging over his skin, and then—then you start mouthing off.

Because of course you do.

"You could have had me ten years ago, Sebastian," you murmur, voice low, teasing, sinful, your breath hot against his skin.

Sebastian grits his teeth, jaw clenching. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," you hum, pressing one last, teasing kiss to the sensitive tip before dragging your gaze up to his face, smirking. "How the fuck could you be so blind to the fact I've been in love with you this whole time?"

Sebastian groans, fingers tugging at your hair, his body trembling with restraint.

"You’re talking a lot of shit for someone who’s got my cock in their mouth," he growls.

You laugh, fucking laugh, your tongue flicking over him again. "You really can’t take a little criticism, can you?"

Sebastian snaps.

"Alright," he mutters, voice low, rough, wrecked. "That’s enough."

Before you can get another word out, his hands are on you, gripping your hips, flipping you back beneath him.

You gasp, laughing breathlessly, but it’s cut off when he pins you down, his full weight pressing you into the mattress, his hand wrapping around your throat, just enough pressure to make your breath hitch. Then—just to make sure you never forget who you belong to—

He spreads your legs, dragging his fingers down your stomach, between your thighs, feeling the heat of you, the slick, messy proof of how long you’ve needed this.

"Christ," he mutters, running his fingers through the wetness, spreading it over you, teasing you.

Your hips jerk into his touch, desperate, wanting, already completely undone. Sebastian grins, dark and satisfied, watching you unravel beneath him.

"Messy thing," he murmurs, pressing his forehead against yours as he drags his fingers up to himself, coating his cock in your wetness.

You practically purr beneath him, your thighs trembling against his hips, the heat of you slick and fucking ready for him.

This is it. Finally.

His fingers curl into the sheets beside your head, his cock dragging through the wet mess between your thighs, teasing, aligning, his vision tunneling, his entire existence narrowing down to the feeling of you, of finally having you—

And then your hand comes up. Soft. Trembling. Pressing against his cheek.

His gaze flickers down to yours. Sebastian stalls instantly. His brain short-circuits, muscles locking tight, because he knows that look.

He knows it in his bones.

Knows it in the way your fingers tremble against his cheek, in the way your lips part like you’re about to say something but don’t know how.

Shit. Wait. Are you having second thoughts? Are you saying no?

Sebastian’s stomach drops, panic flaring as he searches your expression, trying to push past the fog of lust, of need, of desperation—

But it’s not hesitation he finds. It’s something soft, something raw and pleading, and he feels it deep in his chest, where everything soft and aching for you lives.

“Sebastian,” you whisper, barely a breath, and fuck, his chest aches.

“What is it?” His voice is rough, hoarse, aching with restraint.

“If... if this is just for tonight,” you whisper, your voice small, fragile, like you’re saying it through the lump in your throat, “If this is just—if we’re just gonna wake up tomorrow and pretend it never happened, then I—” you pause, your voice breaking slightly. "I need you to tell me now."

And that—

That fucking shatters him. How can you not see it? The way he worships you, the way he’s been yours since he was fifteen fucking years old?

He exhales sharply, his grip tightening on your hip. “Are you out of your fucking mind?” he tips your chin up, forcing you to see him, forcing you to understand. “You think I could have you like this and then just go back to how things were?”

Sebastian shakes his head, dragging his thumb over your cheek, over your lips, his brows pulling together.

“I’m not built like that, love.”

Your throat bobs, your breath shaky, uneven, your body still trembling beneath him.

He swallows, something breaking open inside his chest. “I’ve wanted you for nearly half my life,” he murmurs, pressing his lips against your temple, against your jaw, against the curve of your throat. “You really think I’d just let you go after this?”

A breathless, almost helpless noise escapes you, your fingers curling into his hair, gripping, holding on to him like you don’t know what else to do with yourself.

Sebastian groans, pressing more of his weight down into you, anchoring you, grounding you, making sure you fucking feel him.

"You’re mine," he breathes against your lips, possessive, reverent, certain in a way that leaves no room for doubt. "You're fucking mine, and I’m yours, and I don’t care how fucking long it took us to get here—I’m not fucking going anywhere. You understand?"

Your lips part, eyes flickering between his, something desperate and so fucking relieved blooming across your face.

"Thank fuck."

Then you pull him down to you, crashing your mouth against his, kissing him like he just fucking saved you. It's messy, all tongue and teeth and years of wanting, and his hands move without thinking—gripping, claiming, spreading you open for him

You whimper into his mouth when he grinds against you, his cock dragging through the wet mess between your thighs, slick and aching and so fucking ready for him.

You shift beneath him, thighs trembling, reaching down between your bodies, lining him up yourself, guiding him right where you need him.

Sebastian chokes on a breath, his head dropping to your shoulder, his fingers digging into your hips.

"Shit," he groans, voice breaking.

He can feel you, feel the heat of you, the wetness of you, and his brain blanks.

He’s done for.

Because this isn’t just sex.

This is everything.

This is forever.

[comflexxed]

june had never been one for grand ceremonies or elaborate gestures, but standing here now, with hans’s hands in his, with the weight of their love wrapping around them like something sacred, he understood why people sought out moments like this.

this was not about proving anything to the world — this was about solidifying something that had already been written into their souls long before this day. it was about speaking their love into existence, letting it echo through time so that no matter what came next, they would always have this.

hans’s tears, his trembling voice, the way his hand lingered against june’s cheek — these were the things that undid him. love was also this. love was the way hans’s voice wavered when he whispered i love you. love was the way his fingers lingered as he slid the ring onto june’s hand, how he smiled through his tears, how he held june’s gaze like it was the only thing in the world that mattered.

june let out a breath, unsteady but full, full of everything he felt for hans, everything he had always felt.

his heart ached with it. overflowed with it.

he had never known a home that did not slip through his fingers — until hans.

until now.

june blinked against his own tears as he let his fingers trail over the band on his hand, the weight of it unfamiliar yet already a part of him. his husband. his husband. the word settled deep in his bones, as though it had always belonged there. he swallowed hard, steadying himself before lifting his other hand, reaching for the ring meant for hans. his fingers shook slightly as he took hans’s hand in his own, as he traced the lines of his palm, memorizing them, grounding himself.

“with this ring,” june murmured, voice thick with emotion, “i take you as my husband, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.” it was a more than a promise, it was a truth.

june let the words settle between them before carefully sliding the ring onto hans’s finger, his breath catching slightly as it found its place. he held hans’s hand between both of his, rubbing his thumb gently over the metal, letting himself take in the weight of this moment. and then, even through his tears, a slow smile spread across his face.

“it fits perfectly,” he repeated, his voice quieter but no less full of love, of warmth, of everything that hans was to him. his husband. his home. his forever.

his fingers curled tighter around hans’s, and when he looked at him, there was no hesitation, no doubt — only the endless certainty that no matter what happened, no matter where life took them, he would choose hans every time.

hearing the heartfelt words spilling out of june, hans couldn’t help the tears as they fell freely, the overwhelming feeling of love too big for his body to contain. he held onto june’s hand tightly, taking in the weight of this moment, of how their words held so much more than what hans ever thought possible.

nothing in the books he’s read had ever prepared him for a moment like this, and even though the ceremony did not change anything about their love, he could see now why couples who were truly in love wanted to have this moment.

it was a moment in time that was meant to celebrate their love and togetherness. those vows, they weaved through them like a cloak, covering them in all the love they had for each other, protecting them from whatever the world would throw their way. 

his chest heaved with every breath, and hans lifted his hand to cup june’s cheek once more, wiping away the tears on his face with his fingers. “oh, my june,” was all he could say, the tears tugging at his heart . “i love you so much.” 

after he had taken a few more moments to compose himself, his shaky hand reached for the rings, shifting the hand holding june’s slightly so he could hold on to his fingers gently. “with this ring, i take you as my husband, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.” the words were heavy, important, and hans knew he would do everything in himself to uphold them. 

as he slowly slid the ring on to june’s ring finger, he gave a cheeky smile despite the tears drying on his cheeks. “it fits perfectly,” he whispered, meeting june’s eyes—his husband’s eyes. the one person in the world he’d spend the rest of his life with. 

[anylady-fics]

Body talk | Han Jisung x F reader

I really suck at aesthetics.

Summary:

[...] He was standing there, talking to you all casually, when he stripped his shirt off. Your jaw just dropped because well, you weren’t ready for that. Sure, you’d noticed he looked healthier overall, but the man was always drowning in oversized clothes, so you never really saw much. But right then? Oh, you saw.

“You’re staring, baby.” He always called you that, but at that moment, it just hit differently. “Like what you see?” [...]

Or... she just couldn't handle how hot her friend had become.

*** this work is for adult audiences. Minors DNI ***

Warnings: smut, semi-public sex, dry-humping, unprotected sex (don't do it), vaginal sex, creampie

4,488K words - cross posted on ao3

Ⴡ Masterlist

Han Jisung was one of your best friends, so when he told you he was starting to work out, you were really supportive. He was always the skinny type, the kind that made you wonder if he was actually eating all his meals. But you were kinda used to seeing him like that, so…

You weren’t exactly sure when it happened, but he started growing… a lot. Since you saw him all the time, you didn’t notice right away how big he was getting. It wasn’t sudden, but it happened.

Then there was this birthday pool party with all your friends, and that’s when you really noticed just how hard he’d been training at that damn gym. 

He was standing there, talking to you all casually, when he stripped his shirt off. Your jaw just dropped because well, you weren’t ready for that. Sure, you’d noticed he looked healthier overall, but the man was always drowning in oversized clothes, so you never really saw much. But right then? Oh, you saw. 

“You’re staring, baby.” He always called you that, but at that moment, it just hit differently. “Like what you see?”

Fuck, you were staring. But how could you not? His arms were like three times bigger, and so was his chest. And he still had that thin waist…

“I just… I just didn’t notice how buff you got.”

“Yeah, I’ve been working out for almost two years, you know?” He flexed his biceps for you, as if you weren’t already dizzy just looking at him. “Glad you like it.”

Han had always been that flirty guy, the one who calls you ‘baby’ and was always sweet to you. But now? That same behavior was making you feel completely different when he was actually… that hot. What the fuck was actually happening? Of course, you’d been stuck with your shitty ex for the past year, so you weren’t exactly looking at other men. And you hadn’t been on a date in months, still kinda numb since that piece of shit broke up with you. But right then and there, Jisung was waking you up. Or at least, it felt like it. 

“I did, I mean…”

“Yeah, I know. You didn’t see anything happening around you when you were dating that asshole.”

He was right. You didn’t. And your ex was always jealous of your friendship with every guy, but especially with Jisung—and you never really understood why. Nothing ever happened between you two, and you never saw him that way. Sure, you knew he was pretty, you’d always thought he was cute. But you never—ever—considered dating him. Not because of his looks, of course, but because he was your friend, and you didn’t want to mess things up. You were never good at relationships, so dating friends? Yeah, you always avoided that.

But…

You could have a crush, right? Just a crush. It was natural, it was healthy. Nothing to worry about.

“Could you help me out with this?” Jisung was talking to you, but you hadn’t been paying attention until he handed you the bottle of sunscreen. “Can’t reach my back, so…”

You took the bottle and tried to act normal, really tried. He turned around, letting you spread the sunscreen over his skin, and that’s when you really saw—and felt—his back muscles.

God. You’d always had a weak spot for skinny buff men, so actually touching him? That was making you a little nervous. But it was Jisung. Thinking about him that way just felt wrong. Not that you could stop—not while you were rubbing way more sunscreen on him than necessary, for way longer than you should.

Once you’re done, you hand him the sunscreen and excuse yourself, you need to go to the bathroom to change into your bikini. And also… to check something.

As soon as you lock the door, you drop your backpack on the floor and start undoing your shorts, because you can feel it. You can feel how wet you got just from rubbing sunscreen on your friend’s back.

That shouldn’t be happening. It was so sudden. You definitely weren’t going to act on it, but still… it made you realize just how long it had been since you’d had a date, a great night with someone, hell, even an orgasm. Even one by yourself. It was embarrassing how worked up you got over something so simple.

You walked out of the bathroom already in your bikini, with a pair of shorts to cover up—not because you were shy or anything, but because you couldn’t shake off your dirty thoughts. And you knew they’d only get worse once the drinks started flowing. The last thing you wanted was for anyone to notice how soaked you were… without even stepping into the pool.

The day was going really great. Everyone was eating, drinking, and playing by the pool, so you let yourself relax for a while—slipping off your shorts and lying down to soak up some sun, maybe even get a little tan. Even if it was a bit late already, the sun would be gone in an hour.

“Careful, baby. You’re gonna burn like that. Here, I got you the drink you like.”

You didn’t even have to open your eyes to know that it was Jisung. Of course he was bringing your favorite drink—he always did. But now? Now it was getting under your skin. It wasn’t his fault, but you were acting all weird around him.

“Thanks, Ji.” You took a sip before finally looking at him—only to find him sitting on the ground, right next to you.

“You don’t have to stay out here in the sun…”

“Oh, I know. But I want to. Feels like ages since we just hung out. And it’s not even that hot anymore.” He sat there, stretching his legs out, leaning back on his arms. Muscles on display, skin glistening with sweat, pool water, and that damn sunscreen. “You’ve been all depressed since… you know.”

“Yeah, but I’m alright now.” You tried to look away, but somehow, you just couldn’t. So you took another sip. “What did I miss?”

He started gossiping about your friend group—but nothing mean, just filling you in on everything that had happened while you were holed up in your room, feeling sorry for yourself. Hyunjin got a new girlfriend for a week, then broke up with her… which was nothing new. Chris was working his ass off, also nothing new. And Changbin? Apparently, he’d been helping Jisung at the gym. Well… that explained a lot.

“I’m really glad you’re doing better now.” He finished his beer, flashing you the cutest smile. “Hope you pick someone better next time.”

“It’s not that easy!” You could already feel yourself loosening up from the drink—and the amount of vodka he’d poured into it. “Are you trying to get me drunk, Han Jisung?”

“Is it too strong, baby? Sorry, I can make you a new one if you want. But what do you mean it’s not easy?”

“No, I’m fine. It’s just… it's been a while since I drank vodka. But thanks, really.”

“So… what do you mean?”

“What?”

Yeah, nope. Playing dumb seemed like the best option. You really didn’t feel like whining about your shitty love life. Jisung already knew you had a habit of settling for way less than you deserved, and you weren’t about to go down that road again. It was just… embarrassing.

“You can tell me. Why do you keep dating assholes?” He paused for a moment, then—out of nowhere—blushed. “Is it because… you know. They’re good in bed or something?”

“God, I wish.” The words slipped out before you could stop them. You stared at your drink, then shoved the glass into his hands. “Here. Keep it. I’m already talking too much.”

“But seriously. Why?” He took a sip of your drink, then immediately made a face. “Jesus, this is a crime. I’m getting us new drinks. Be right back.”

You’d never really talked about sex with him before. Sure, some things had come up during drinking games, but nothing too revealing. So… why was he so interested in your love life now? You trusted him enough to tell him everything, but all you could think about was how much of a loser you’d sound like. Admitting that most of your exes couldn’t even make you cum? Not exactly your proudest moment.

He came back with a really sweet drink for you and another can of beer for himself. For a moment, you thought he’d drop the conversation entirely—almost felt relieved about it, even though you kind of liked the tension. But as soon as he sat down, a little closer this time, he picked up right where he left off.

“So, you were saying…?”

“I wasn’t saying anything, Ji. Stop talking about those assholes, they’re in the past now.” You took a sip. God, it was good, so sweet you could barely taste the alcohol this time. “This is perfect, thanks!”

“Come on, tell me. I really wanna know how a good girl like you always ends up with guys like them.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, it just happens.” You shrugged. “And they’re not even good in bed, that’s the worst part. Most of the time, they didn’t even care if I came or not.”

“Oh my god, so you hate yourself that much?” He groaned, taking a deep breath before nearly downing his entire beer. “Please tell me you’re not doing that again. It’s painful watching you suffer every time.” He set his can down with a sigh. “Also, you have to make sure they’re gonna treat you right before anything else.”

“They’re not assholes at first, you know…”

“I’m talking about the sex.” He raised an eyebrow. “You gotta make sure it’s good before making them your boyfriend.”

And now you were the one blushing. Because, well… he wasn’t wrong. You’d always waited before sleeping with a guy, always dated them for a while first. But that clearly wasn’t working. And the worst part? It wasn’t even them. It was you. You got comfortable, and you sucked at breaking things off. It was always like that.

“So you seem to know a lot about this relationship stuff,” you said, feeling the alcohol settle into your system. “How are you still single?”

“Well, I had a few dates… but I’ll only have a girlfriend when it feels right.” Then he smirked. That smirk. The kind that made you want to hit him, but you couldn’t, because it was too damn irresistible. “At least I made sure they were satisfied.”

“And how are you so sure about that?” Your cheeks were burning? Yeah, definitely. But the conversation was interesting, and the alcohol was making it a lot easier to roll with it. 

Jisung smirked again, then glanced at you. Just a quick look. But you saw it. Saw his eyes flicker down—right at your tits. And fuck, it hit you like a rock. That’s when it really sank in. You were sitting there in nothing but a bikini, your nipples were hard, and you’d been soaked since the moment you rubbed sunscreen over his back. But you didn’t move. Didn’t try to hide a damn thing. You just sat there, waiting for him to answer.

“Oh, baby…” He tilted his head slightly, voice dripping with amusement. “You don’t really want the details, do you? I’m not the type who fuck and tell.”

“Such a gentleman…”

“I am, actually.” He grinned, cocky as ever. Then, after a beat, he added, “And you know… since you’re single and not dating anyone, I could just… show you. Sometime. Maybe.”

Bold. But the second the words left his mouth, he hesitated just for a moment. Like even he couldn’t believe he’d actually said it. And fuck, you clenched. Hard. Harder than you thought was humanly possible. You just stared at him, like you were still processing what he’d just said because, honestly? You were. Your whole body was screaming yes, but your brain? Your brain was still desperately trying to remind you that this could ruin your friendship.

“Ji…”

“Yeah, I know. We’re friends and all. And you don’t do friends. But what if… what if you just let yourself enjoy it? It wouldn’t ruin anything, I swear.”

It shouldn’t have been normal how ridiculously turned on you were from just a conversation. Your cute, hot friend was almost begging to date you. To fuck you. Specifically.

“And I can read you,” he murmured, his voice dropping lower, his eyes darker now. “I know you’re horny. I’d bet money you’re wet right now, because I actually pay attention to you.”

Your sanity was slipping. How the fuck did he know that? And more importantly, how the hell were you supposed to say no to him? If he could read you this well, you couldn’t even begin to imagine what he could actually do to you if you let him. And you were so close. So close to letting him. Because you were really fucking horny, and everything was starting to blur together in your head.

“Okay.” It’s all you can manage to say, your body growing heavier, hotter with every passing second.

“Okay?” He tilts his head, smirking. “So you’ll let me show you? Use your words, pretty.”

You swallow hard. Fuck it.

“Yes, Jisung. I want you to show me.” Your voice is steady, but barely. “And yeah. I’m wet. I’m horny. You were right about that, too.” You lean in just slightly, challenging him. “So… what are you gonna do about it?”

“Fuck, baby… everyone already went inside since it’s getting dark. Wanna try to find a room for us? Maybe we’ll get lucky.”

“I doubt it, so…” 

You already knew you’d end up sleeping on the floor or crashing on some couch once you headed inside, there was no way any rooms were still available. You stand up without another word, heading straight for the couch near the pool, tucked away in a more private spot. The low walls should be enough to cover you.

Should be. But anyone could still walk in on you. Anytime. 

No doors. No locks.

Just the two of you, outside, where you definitely shouldn’t be doing this. And that only makes you want it more.

Jisung followed right behind you, and since you’d already given him permission to touch you, that’s exactly what he did the moment he got close enough. He was right there in front of you, still shirtless, somehow looking even hotter than he had two minutes ago. Or maybe you were just drunk and horny.

“I’m gonna kiss you.” His voice was low, his body radiating heat so close to yours. “And if you want me to stop, just… tell me. I’ll try.” He had that playful smile, but fuck, he looked so sexy you started wondering if you were even in your right mind.

His hands gripped your waist, pulling you flush against him, and finally, you felt his skin on yours, warm, firm, so good it sent a shiver through you. His lips brushed against yours, teasing, barely there. Then, his tongue traced your bottom lip before slipping inside, and you welcomed him so easily, sucking on it, responding to him like you were made for this. It was wet, hot, messy. So good you felt yourself melting between your legs. And then, as he held you even closer, you felt it… his cock, hard against you through his shorts, pressing right where you needed him most.

You couldn’t tell if you were just needy or if he was really the best kisser you’d ever had, because it had never felt this good. You’d never felt so overwhelmed just from a kiss. Jisung knew exactly what he was doing, and you had no idea how many minutes had passed since you started—kissing, pressing your bodies together, completely lost in it.

There was a couch right next to you, and you were starting to feel it—your legs weak, your body buzzing, the heat pooling between your thighs. You needed to sit down. Or maybe, you just needed more. Maybe sitting on him, that would be good. 

You pressed your hands against his chest, pushing him back just slightly. He pulled away immediately, eyes flickering with concern—until you wordlessly pointed to the couch. You couldn’t even trust yourself to speak, but he understood. Oh, he definitely understood. 

He grabbed your wrist and sat down, pulling you close until you were right where he wanted—on his lap. Fuck, you just knew you were going to soak his shorts. There was no way to avoid it. You were sitting directly on his hard cock, and then he started kissing you again. His hands rested on your waist before slowly moving up, his fingertips teasing just beneath the fabric of your bikini, making you desperate for him to actually touch your tits.

You whined against his mouth, hoping he’d understand just how needy you were for his touch. And apparently, he really could really read you… His hands moved higher, cupping your tits, feeling their weight before giving a gentle squeeze. You moaned at the sensation, not even realizing how you were pressing your breasts into his hands, silently begging for more.

He teased your sensitive nipples through the fabric, making you shiver, and you rolled your hips slowly, desperate for some friction. He moaned too, feeling you grind against his cock, and fuck, his mouth tasted like beer, a bit like weed, and a lot like you should’ve done this ages ago.

You couldn’t stop yourself so you kept grinding on his lap, your clit throbbing with every slow roll of your hips. And judging by the way he was whining between kisses, he was loving it just as much.

His lips trailed down to your neck, sucking and nipping, leaving love bites along your skin. Then he went lower, tugging your bikini top just enough to wrap his lips around your nipple. His wet tongue licked over the sensitive bud, making you moan a little louder now that his mouth wasn’t on yours to muffle the sound.

“Ji… feels so good,” you breathed, threading your fingers through his hair and pulling him closer. You didn’t want him to stop. He groaned against your skin, sucking harder as his hands grabbed your ass, squeezing tight, guiding your movements, making you grind even harder against his cock. You could easily cum like that.

His hands were everywhere—touching, groping, squeezing—grabbing every inch of your skin like he couldn’t get enough. You kissed him again, still rolling your hips, but a wave of embarrassment started creeping in because you knew you were close. If you kept this up just a little longer, you were going to cum.

“Gonna make me cum in my shorts like this…” he whispered against your lips, his voice strained. “You close? Wanna grind on my cock until you cum, baby?”

“Yes… so close…” you whined, gripping his shoulders for leverage as you moved faster, harder. Any trace of embarrassment disappeared the second you saw the way he was looking at you, his eyes dark with lust, filled with pure desire. “Gonna cum… fuck!”

Your orgasm hit you hard, your body shuddering as you slowly came to a stop, riding out your high. Your pussy clenched around nothing, and the realization made your head spin. Jisung held you close, his hands firm on your waist, his mouth still latched onto your nipple. Fucking hell, you’d only dry-humped him, and you already felt completely wrecked.

“That was so fucking hot.” He kissed your neck again, licking the sweat from your skin. “Wish we could do more, but it’s so fucking risky out here…”

“Yeah?” You were still catching your breath, your hands resting on his firm chest—now teasing his nipples. “What do you wanna do? Tell me.”

“Wish I could eat you out. Fuck, you’re dripping… I can feel it.” His words made you clench around nothing again. “Wish I could fuck this pretty mouth of yours.”

“Jisung…” His name left your lips in a breathy whimper as your hands slid down his body, tracing over his chest, his abs—until you reached his cock, hot and hard beneath his shorts. You pulled them down along with his underwear, freeing him completely. He was already leaking for you, so hard, so fucking ready for you to just sink down onto him. “Just wanna feel you inside me now,” you murmured, eyes locked on his. “You can eat me out and fuck my mouth another time.”

You knew you sounded desperate. You were desperate. But you didn’t care.

Instead, you pulled your bikini bottoms aside, rubbing his tip against your clit, using his precum to make yourself even wetter.

“Gonna let me fuck you raw, baby?” His voice was thick with desire as he watched you rub his cock against your clit, teasing yourself, teasing him. “Didn’t think you’d let me fuck you today… especially here, where someone could walk in on us.”

“Yeah? Let them see. I don’t care.” Your voice was breathy, reckless. “It’s dark anyway.” There was no condom, and it was obvious neither of you had one. “I’m on the pill… clean,” you reassured him, your eyes never leaving his.

“I’m clean too,” he groaned, gripping your waist. “But fuck, baby… I’m gonna blow fast. Watching you cum like that almost did the job.”

“I don’t care, Ji. Just fuck me.”

“Then put it in,” he rasped. “I’m all yours.”

You didn’t think you’d ever been this wet in your life, not that it mattered, because Jisung was thick. He wasn’t huge, but the girth…

You guided him to your entrance, holding his cock at the base as you slowly sank down, feeling the delicious stretch as he filled you, inch by inch. You were already panting, creaming around him as you rolled your hips to adjust, every inch of him pressing against your walls just right. 

Jisung moaned, his hands finding your tits, teasing your nipples, making you want to scream from just that. Fuck, you were so needy.

“You’re taking me so well, baby…” His voice was a low growl, his hands sliding down to your waist, gripping tight as he helped you move. You started riding him, slow and deep, feeling every inch drag against your soaked, clenching walls. “Such a pretty pussy… so greedy, too…”

You clenched hard around him at his words, making him groan. He could feel how much you liked it. It was so hot—so fucking hot—you almost couldn’t believe you were actually letting your friend fuck you like this, there of all places. No one would believe it even if they saw you. And maybe that was part of what was turning you on so much. The risk. The filthiness of it. You didn’t even recognize yourself.

But you didn’t care about anything—not when he was buried balls deep inside you, stretching you, filling you so perfectly. Fuck.

You started moving faster, really riding him now, rolling your hips just right so your clit dragged against his pelvis with every grind. That friction alone was enough to push you closer to the edge again. You were a mess; sweating, moaning, completely fucked-out, and Jisung was staring at you like you were the most beautiful thing in the world.

“You’re clenching so hard, think you can cum again? Wanna see you cumming all over my dick. Use me, come on.”

Fuck, how could you say no to that? He gripped your waist to help you grind against him, his cock buried so deep inside you it was hurting, but it felt so good you just kept moving, your hips moving on their own, desperate, needy, chasing that high. You felt the orgasm coming, it hit you like a wave, ripping a moan from your throat so loud he had to shove his fingers in your mouth to shut you up. You sucked on his fingers while cumming hard on his cock, almost crying from pleasure, feeling the way he was throbbing inside you, probably holding himself to not to blow.

"Fuck, I’m gonna cum…" Jisung groaned, pulling his fingers from your mouth and gripping your waist so tight you knew he’d leave marks. "Inside?"

"Yeah… fill me up, please…"

You were trembling, breathless, drooling, desperate to feel his hot release spilling inside you. It would be so messy… you already felt filthy, but fuck, it felt so good.

With a deep, shuddering moan, he came inside you, biting his lip to muffle his sounds, his body tensing as he spilled deep. You could feel it, warm and thick, already leaking from your overstimulated pussy while he stayed buried inside you, still pulsing. Slowly, you lifted your hips, savoring the way he slipped out of you before adjusting your bikini back into place, like nothing had just happened. 

"Yeah, I believe you now." You helped him adjust his clothes, smoothing them back into place. "You really know how to satisfy your girls, Ji."

"Told you." He smirked, eyes closed, breath still heavy, his skin glistening with sweat. "The body talks, baby. We just have to listen."

And he had listened, he knew exactly how badly you wanted him, touching you just right the entire time. You couldn’t argue with that. He was good. So good. And as you lay there, catching your breath, you realized you didn’t regret a thing. No guilt, no second thoughts, just satisfaction

"See? We’re still friends. Nothing bad happened." He held your hand, his gaze locked on yours. "And we should do this again, you know?"

"Oh, we will. I still remember you saying you wanted to eat me out. No way I’m missing that."

"And fuck your mouth." He smirked. "Stop that, or you’re gonna make me hard again."

"Is that a problem?"

"Depends… if you’ll let me fuck you again."

"Not here, Ji. We could get caught. But tomorrow…"

Oh, there was no doubt—you were definitely doing this again. 

Jisung chuckled, running his fingers lazily over your thigh, teasing, but not pushing. 

"Tomorrow, then." His voice was husky, laced with promise.

You stood up, adjusting your bikini enough to head into the shower as he leaned back, watching you with dark, satisfied eyes. The way he looked at you sent a shiver down your spine, like he was already planning what he’d do to you next.

"Better get some rest, baby," he murmured. "You’ll need it."

You smirked, biting your lip as you turned to leave, already feeling anticipation curling low in your stomach.

Tomorrow couldn’t come fast enough.

[blondejellykitty]

₊♡ ˚⊹ a quiet love ₊♡ ˚⊹

୨୧ james potter x shy!reader ୨୧ not all love was like the movies portrayed them, but that doesn't mean it isn't good a/n: (1.9k words) happy valentines day!

Honestly you two getting together shocked everyone, even James himself was surprised you agreed to date him. You both were polar opposites, he was loud and outgoing while you were quiet and shy.

You both did have things in common though, like your kind hearts, your infectious humor and your Transfiguration class. Which coincidentally was how you both met.

You'd been failing behind on the assignments and Professor McGonagall assigned James to tutor you just until your grade rose a little higher.

You both agreed to meet at the far back upper level of the library. You were so sure he would bail. It wasn't hard to hear about James Potter and his troublemaker friends around school. But he'd showed up, on time and with a set of notes and books for you both to look over.

Everytime you think back to those early study sessions you cringe at your past self. It would've been easier to talk to a startled turtle. The most you said was a swift 'see you later' once the session had ended.

But that never deterred James. If anything it seemed to push him to get past your walls. He was nothing but patient and kind while explaining the Flobberworm to Fritter incantation all the way to explaining the Bird-Conjuring Charm and everything in between.

Eventually you did warm up to him. Your quiet word responses turned to shy short sentences. Then by the time you were passing Transfiguration with flying colors you and James were able to laugh and joke together.

Once the study lessons were over, he invited you to Hogsmeade with him the following weekend. No one had ever tried asking you before and you'd only gone there once with the second year tour, so you were very excited to go, and with such a good-looking boy too. You were over the moon!

The weekend trips became a regular every two week deal between you both. As well as Friday afternoons you both would study in your old spot in the library together.

After a few months of this sweet routine, one Friday the library was cleaned as someone threw a smoke bomb or three inside, which stained the walls and floors with multicolored powder. James had sworn to you it wasn't him but you caught that gleam in his eyes and shook your head in dismay.

He'd offered to study in his dorm, he said him and his friends found a way to disenchant the staircase when they needed to, you chose not to think too hard on the reason why.

He'd led you to the Gryffindor common room which unsurprisingly was styled in red and gold. You both passed fellow students sitting in the red couches that were placed around the fireplace, and past the students sat by the tall windows at desks. Thankfully both groups of your peers were engrossed in their gossip or studies to pay attention to the rule breaking happening in front of them. Or maybe they were used to James breaking the rules.

James flicked his wand and the winding staircase shimmered a silver colour and he ushered you up quickly. As you reached the top of the stairs you were met with a long hallway with two brown doors, one on each side. You looked back and the stairs had stopped shimmering and James pointed to the end of the hallway.

At the end of the hallway were two sets of staircases, the left staircase spiraled down and the right side staircase spiraled up. He gently directed you to the right staircase. Thankfully this time not needing to be enchanted. At the top the next level was the same setup as the previous floor. He pointed you to the door on the right.

As you approached the wooden door you could faintly hear muggle music playing from inside. He scooted past you and opened the door for you dramatically. You entered and took in the chaotic room.

A large square rug took up most of the floor, it was red and gold with the Gryffindor crest on it. Sitting down on the rug leaning against the wooden bedframe sat Remus, with a thick book in his hands.

Four beds pushed against each corner of the room, in between each horizontal bed was two chests on either side of the room. The chests seemed to act as dressers, two tidy and neat while the other two looked like a clothes tornado ran through it.

At the opposite wall of you, was two long windows with two desks in front of it and a third in between the gap. Two of the desks had books and papers stacked on and around them. The last desk was occupied by a blonde boy who you recognized as Peter. He was hunched over the wooden desk scribbling something on a sheet of paper.

The walls were littered with muggle posters of bands and singers, along with various quidditch players. A record player was blaring a muggle song you hadn't heard before from the right corner bedside.

Lying flat on his stomach on the farthest right bed was Sirius. Of course it was his music playing, you thought with a small smile. James had told you about his friends before formally meeting them, not like you hadn't observed them when running from different Professors.

Sirius was the only one to look up. His pretty eyes met yours.

"Well, isn't this a delightful surprise?" His teasing voice lifted over the music. He quickly sat up, leaning over the record player and turned it down slightly.

"What's a doll like you hanging around ol' Jamie?" His playful smirk widened as you felt your face warm in embarrassment. James had warned you about this.

"Oi, piss off we're studying" James' loud voice held no real heat to them which eased you greatly.

"Ah, 'studying' sure. Uh-huh. You want us to leave you two love birds alone then?" Sirius said very theatrically. If your face was warm before, it was burning now. You could almost feel the heat waves bouncing off you. You hoped no one could tell.

Remus looked up from his seat on the floor. "What're you studying?"

You looked down in surprise, you'd almost forgot he was there. It was even more surprising he was looking at you when he asked. You gulped.

"Transfiguration and Potions" You fumbled out, you felt victorious that you hadn't stuttered through it.

"I have some notes from Potions class if you need it" He said softly before returning to his book. You realized he was shifting the subject away from Sirius and his teasing. How sweet.

"Thanks Moony" James walked and flicked through the papers scattered on one of the free desks before muttering something to Peter that made him start to scribble faster and pick up a bigger textbook. James grabbed a handful of notes and showed you to the closed bed to the door on the left. He sat leaned against the pillows while you sat with your back against the wall.

He handed you Remus' notes and started opening up the textbooks.

You often thought back to that day, and how nervous you were to befriend James in the first place. You often laughed about it. Right now you were on your way to those exact dorms.

James had taught you the spell to make it easier to visit their dorm whenever you needed to. You used the well used spell and made your way up towards their room.

The four boys were scattered around the room when you entered. James' smile widened at the sight of you.

"Love! I was just thinkin' about you" He practically sang from where he laid on his bed.

"When aren't you?" Sirius snorted from his spot on his bed, where he read a muggle magazine with his head hanging off his bed.

"Sorry sweetie but I'm not here for you just yet" You walked past James' bed straight towards his neighbor where Remus sat with a notebook in his hand writing away.

James made a dramatic gasp, his cries echoed around the room. In what he'd call 'utter dismay' which was what you'd call a hilarious performance.

"Hi Remus" You smiled sweetly at him, trying to batter your eyelashes at him.

"Hi flower" He smirked, knowing what you were doing he leaned into his trunk roof pocket and pulled out some of his famous chocolate.

You giggled, "Thank you!" You childishly ran back towards James' bed and flopped down next to him while guarding your precious sweets from him.

"What the hell?" Sirius's head whipped up so fast you almost winced for him.

"How'd you do that?" Peter practically whined out from where he sat in his bed munching on Fudge Flies and Jelly Slugs while studying.

"This is blatant favoritism!" Sirius now kneeled on his bed, waving his hands around while James fell back onto his pillows laughing loudly.

"This isn't funny, do you have any idea how long it took to bribe him for some? all she had to do was ask!" Sirius wailed. Remus hid his chuckles behind his notebook.

"I guess I'm just the favourite, huh Sirius?" You teased from the safety of James' bed.

Sirius scoffed flopping backwards into his bed.

"I liked you better when you were quiet" He grumbled into his pillow which he'd placed over his head.

You turned around to face James. His cheeks were flushed from all his laughter and his glasses were slightly wonky. You reached and corrected their position on his pretty face. He gently smiled at you.

“Hi” He whispered, his eyes tracing your face with a warmth that left you giddy.

“Hi there” You whispered back with a giggle.

He lovingly kissed your cheek, then moved to your temple, then above your eyebrow. Which made you giggle. He kissed the bridge of your nose. He kissed you only just missing your lips with a soft laugh.

Kissing James never felt like fireworks or a spark, it felt soft and warm like a beloved blanket keeping you safe from the cold.

“We’re supposed to be studying” You gave a half-suppressed laugh.

“Mhm, yeah but that’s not as interesting as you are Love” He teased with a playful smirk.

“Ya know we can still hear you right? It’s revolting” Sirius chimed in, loudly expressing his concerns.

James reached behind him, lifting his pillow from behind him he threw it across the room hitting Sirius straight in the face.

Both you and Peter cracked up at Sirius’ briefly stunned face.

“This is war Prongs” Sirius said rather seriously, ironically.

“You’re on Pads” James narrowed his eyes and grabbed the last pillow left on his bed and hopped up.

Both boys raced towards each other in a very heated pillow fight. James kept aiming for Sirius’ hair, which wasn’t taken well. Sirius aimed for James' legs in hopes of knocking him over.

“They’ll be at it for awhile” Remus sighed, like this was a regular occurrence which it probably was you though. 

Remus placed his notebook back into his trunk and pulled out even more of his sweet chocolate. Remus looked between you and Peter with an unspoken question.

You and Peter ran and jumped on Remus’ bed, and he shared his chocolate between you three as you all watched the two doofus’ battle each other.

[ttjisung]

lover is a day. na jaemin

ex!jaemin x fem!reader

in which jaemin tries his best to make it up to you after months of being apart.

cw: smut ofc... mdni! riding, missionary, he cries while he's inside, p in v (it's not mentioned but they use protection), hurt no comfort :/, angst, the ending isn't happy beware... (wc: 2.8k)

It had been two months and three weeks since Jaemin had seen you, and it felt like he was going insane. Admittedly, it was his fault, considering he was the one who invited you over one night to randomly break up with you after a year and a half together. He wasn’t sure why he did it, all he knew now was how badly he regretted it.

Jaemin was unaware of how boring life would be without the long rants about your favorite show, the lazy naps you’d take together cuddled up, the homemade meals that he tried desperately to recreate in hopes of reigniting past memories – he painfully realized that they didn’t taste the same without you. 

The intention behind his actions was never to cut you out of his life completely, he just felt suffocated at times. You were affectionate, which was an attribute he was once obsessed with; you never failed to make him feel loved, yet it eventually became too much, making him feel as though he was trapped. 

Jaemin could recall the night it happened. He had been at his university’s library, trying to study for an upcoming quiz and it proved difficult when his phone kept buzzing with new messages. He was frustrated, to say the least, when the people around him began to share judging side-looks at the noise. After two more annoyingly loud notifications, a stupid video of a pair of cats hugging with an accompanying ‘us’, he was done. Aggressively stuffing his textbooks back into his bag, he typed out a message asking you to come over before entering his car and speeding to his apartment. 

When he first opened the door for you, you were sporting a smile, immediately throwing your bag on the couch to rush in for a hug. He didn’t reciprocate when you wrapped your arms around him, and after an awkward sequence of pulling away and looking up at him, you noticed the unfamiliar scowl on his face. “What’s wrong?” You immediately asked, stepping closer to place your hands on his face. The action set him off, and before he knew it, he was ripping your hands off of him, whispering the words under his breath yet loud enough for you to hear. I think we should take a break. 

The guilt came almost instantly, seeing you shakily cry as you wiped tears off, reluctantly stepping away from him and leaning over the couch to grab your bag. You never said a word, simply nodding and shuffling to the door to leave. As Jaemin remembers that night, he wishes you would have said something. He wishes you would have yelled at him, acknowledged the fact that he just wanted a break – nothing permanent, begged him to take his words back, anything, yet you did nothing. 

It only took ten minutes for the realization that you were gone to kick in, and his regret to activate as well. He was quick to find his phone, trying to call you and make you come back, so he could apologize and you could be happy together again, yet you didn’t answer his calls. He tried to reach out to you everywhere he could, texting you on every app, calling you on other people’s phones once the paranoia that you might’ve blocked him blossomed, yet all he was met with was radio silence. That was when his depression kicked in.

Jaemin wasn’t eating well, he wasn’t sleeping well, he began to skip out on the gym, and eventually even missed his lectures that he once stressed about eagerly. He didn’t have the motivation to do anything, not when you were out of his life and there was nothing he could do to fix it. Every night, he’d open his phone and scroll past the countless unanswered messages he had sent you begging you to come back, until he’d reach the video of the cats you sent him. He’d embarrassingly watch it on repeat all night, silently crying into his pillow as he realized he could’ve been hugging you like the cats were right now, instead of basking in the loneliness of his cold, messy bed. 

He hadn’t fucked anyone since you – he’s not fully sure he’d be able to even if he tried. Every night, he’d lay in bed with his hand lazily stroking himself, his eyes emotionlessly staring at his ceiling as he tried to feel something, yet it never happened. The only times he was able to cum was when he’d reopen his folder of pictures you had sent him when you were together. After a month, it began to feel creepy so he stopped. He didn’t dare erase the photos though, afraid he’d forget how you looked after a while, so he hid the folder instead. 

It was a rainy day when Jaemin decided to go out again for the first time in a while. The sky was gloomy and grey as his feet led him towards the closest local cafe. His plan of ordering a scone alongside a coffee to take home quickly deteriorated when he stepped into the room, his eyes immediately landing on you. You were alone in a booth, typing something quickly on your laptop while taking a sip of a drink. Jaemin’s heart clenched at the noticeable tired look in your eyes. You looked as miserable as him, probably even worse considering he broke up with you. 

You looked sad, and before he could even think about it, Jaemin rushed up to you, placing a hand on your shoulder to get your attention. He didn’t like the way your expression shifted to panic when you looked up at him, nor did he like the way you lightly shook with nerves as you let out a tiny hi. He felt bad, knowing this was the first time you had ever regarded him with such hesitance. It was your pained expression that reminded him that he was the bad guy in your story, and it made him regret ever even thinking of ending things.

“Hey… It’s been a while.” You awkwardly nodded at his words, avoiding eye contact. Truth be told, you were far from moving on, a part of you shocked because you never thought you’d see him again. You were embarrassed about the ordeal, remembering how annoyed he looked during the last hug you had given him. It made you want to cry when his harsh words would spiral in your head, looping over for hours. You weren’t ready to see him, you didn’t think you’d ever be. This didn’t stop Jaemin from taking the seat in front of you, staring at you intensely with pleading eyes. “Can… Can we talk?” You didn’t want to, but it was hard to decline when he was already leaning over the table, his hands twitching with a desire to reach out and hold yours. 

You nodded your head, appeasing to his request just how you did when he mentioned the break. He breathed out loudly when you agreed, his body flooding with butterflies – this was his chance to apologize and convince you to take him back, and he would rather die than mess it up. 

“How have you been?” He treaded lightly at first, offering small talk to ease you into the conversation but the efforts had the opposite effect as they made you feel more nervous than before. You opted for a small fine, before asking him the same question. Jaemin mirrored your response, neither of you acknowledging the irony behind the answer - the both of you were far from fine. 

“I’m not sure where to start, but I miss you, N/n. So, so much. I… I don’t know if you’ve been getting my messages?” He stopped for a second to gouge your reaction, yet you didn’t respond, looking down at your lap instead with a frown, “I get it. I was really mean, but… But I’m so sorry. I regret it so much, and I want to make it up to you. I really haven’t been the same without you.” You continued to look at your lap, dissociating for a second as you tried your hardest to hold in the tears slowly forming. It was a battle you lost as they began to flow down your cheeks. Jaemin’s heart dropped when you finally looked back up, your eyes swelling up. 

He moved his hands quickly to hold your face, placing his upper body over the table to stabilize himself before he wiped your tears away desperately. You shouldn’t have, but you let him, even leaning into his touch when his movements grew stronger.

The next hour passed in a blur as he moved next to you, letting you cry into his arms for as long as you needed to, walking you back to your apartment when you realized the small cafe wasn’t the place to break down in. You're not sure if it was your loneliness, or the fact that you hadn’t slept with anyone else either, yet you found it easy to melt in his hold as he led you to your bed, placing you down gently.

Jaemin knew this was probably his last chance to convince you to come back with him, yet the hope fluttering in his heart quickly overshined the fear of losing you for good. He let himself drift away from his conflicted emotions as he passionately kissed down your neck, dragging his hand towards the hem of your shirt until he was able to pull it right off. 

You gasped as he lowered himself onto your body, kissing and sucking anywhere he could. It had been so long, and he refused to let any doubt cloud either of your minds. He became determined, deciding the only way he could show you how much he missed you was to fuck you senseless. 

“Need you so bad, baby. I… fuck, I really missed you.” His warm words contrasted the way he moved you around roughly, stripping your clothes off quickly along his as his hands found your waist, pulling your bare body on top of his. 

Jaemin’s back was pushed against the headboard, strands of hair sticking to the sweat on his forehead as he pulled you into a heated kiss on his lap. You reciprocated, smaller hands finding the way to his shoulders, scratching them harshly as he finally pushed into you completely. His moves were calculated yet eager, thrusting into you like his life depended on it – in a way, it did. He knew that if he messed up and ruined the moment, you’d probably decide to avoid him again. 

The thought began to plague him as he ran a hand up your waist, holding you in place as it moved towards the small of your back. He put pressure on your skin, pushing you as close as you could be to him, which made you shift. Jaemin’s mouth opened widely as a moan escaped him due to the added friction when you moved on top of him. 

The familiar feeling of his climax began to flood his mind as he continued to buck his hips into you, pushing his hard cock sloppily inside of your cunt, forcing your back to arch into him. He was so close, too close, when his mind began to run, replacing all of his worries with the overwhelming love he felt at the moment – he finally had his soulmate back.

Perking up, Jaemin leaned into your neck, offering small words of affection alongside his deep thrusts. “I’m so happy you’re back, I haven’t been able to do this without you.” You leaned away from him, nodding your head, “Me neither… I…” You struggled to speak as his pace grew harder, clenching around him in a way that had his mind reeling, “I… Wish this wasn’t the last time.” Jaemin’s hips faltered, eyebrows furrowing in confusion as he came to a stop. “W-what?” 

You frowned at the way his actions stilled, trying to initiate contact by grinding against him yet failing as his large hands moved back onto your hips, pulling you down onto him to stop you completely as well. “Jaemin, what are you doing-” “What do you mean last time?” His voice was frantic, along with his wide eyes that were trying to find yours. 

“Why did you stop-” “Y/n, please… What do you mean by last time?” The panic in his voice grew as he moved his face in an attempt to get closer to you. His feelings began to spread to you as you pushed yourself away from him, trying to further the distance. “I just… Well, you broke up with me so… We can’t do this again, you know?” You tried to appear calm and collected, yet the grip he had on your hips increased, and his breath grew uneven. 

When you finally gained the courage to look back at him, his head was shaking, small tears swelling in his eyes as he mindlessly sniffled. There was a flip in the atmosphere as he began to cry out, “Y/n… Baby please, you can’t do this. I-I love you… This can’t be the last time.” He was disheveled, holding your body as close as he could. Your arms that rested on his shoulders hesitantly moved until you weren’t touching him anymore. You weren’t hugging him back. The choked sobs he let out festered in the air as he held you tightly, your arms unsure of where to go. It felt like hell for Jaemin – maybe he was being punished for what he did to you, the ironic scene reminding him of when he refused to return your affection, taking it for granted and not realizing that he would be deprived of it for too long. 

“I thought you knew we… We weren’t going to get back together.” Your quiet words did nothing but tear his heart more, the finality in your tone feeling like a punch to his gut. It wasn’t until you began to shift uncomfortably that he noticed he was still inside of you, his hands not letting you go.

“I can show you, baby… I’ll make it up to you, I swear.” Jaemin begged you to consider what he was saying, an anxious pit in his stomach forming when you didn’t respond. It was then that he finally moved again, this time gently as he shifted the both of you around until you were under him. 

You hummed lightly in surprise as his hips met yours again, his rough pace now completely replaced by softer movements when he leaned down into you, his face hovering right above yours, eyes drilling into your own. His lips met yours, passionate yet caring as his cock pushed in and out of you slowly. It was hard to act like you couldn’t hear the small I love you’s he muttered beneath his breath with every snap of his hips. One arm being used to balance on top of you, his other moved to your face, cupping your cheek.

The way he fucked you tenderly reminded you of when he’d come home from a long lecture, releasing his stress by making love to you. It was intimate, something you had forgotten about during the months you were apart. You tried to ignore the way tears rolled down his cheeks, mixing with your own. You tried to ignore the way he held you closely as you both came. The hardest part to ignore was after, when he moved to lay next to you on the large mattress, holding you close how he used to when you were together. You missed it as much as he did, yet the weariness never faded as he cuddled into you, refusing to leave until you both fell asleep. 

Jaemin felt his world collapsing when he woke up to an empty bed, the lack of your warmth imminent. Your room was silent, the small chirps of a bird outside of the window providing the only noise he could hear as he stood up frantically, searching for you. You weren’t there, though, as he fell back into your bed, tears overwhelming him again. 

With labored steps, it took Jaemin an hour to find the effort to finally get up and leave your apartment. He took the familiar key from under your doormat, locking the door behind him. His movements were sluggish, similar to how he had felt ever since you slipped away from him the first time. 

It wasn’t until he finally reached his own home that he let himself go, tears falling rapidly as he threw himself onto his own bed, clutching the pillow on the right side of the mattress – what used to be your side. He had refused to even touch the pillow before, fearing the comforting scent of your perfume would disappear, yet now he couldn’t hold himself back, clutching the fabric in his arms as he tried his best to imagine it was you he was caressing. The pillow laid flat against him, resembling the way your arms draped next to you when he hugged you close for the last time, unreciprocated and cold.  

a/n: if any of you have read my other stories you’ll think i’m real repetitive bc i’ve overdoneeee the hell out of this trope it’s getting out of hand… that being said i might make a part 2 with a happy ending if the people ask for it :3

[hellsquills]

I think he'd have the most impressive and unexpected list of languages ever

BIG rant ahead this got too out of hand lol

He knows how to speak fluent Spanish because of the time he spent in Latin America, and he has the weirdest combination of insults from every country that he uses interchangeably (he learns which accent and expressions belong to each country so he doesn't sound like such a gringo).

Italian is easy enough. Not only because it's very similar to Spanish, but also because New Jersey is the "Little Italy" of the US (LOADS of Italian descendants there). He knows a good bunch of words, and he can hold his own in a conversation.

French is tricky but it's great for business. Idiots will buy anything that sounds luxurious and pretentious, and nothing screams that louder than French words.

Brazilian is also similar to Spanish, and even though he never went to Brazil, he loves the culture. He meets some Brazilian people at underground dancing shows and learns some words, as well as a good few moves.

Back in the US, he works as a smuggler on the southeast coast, and he gets the chance to learn a few words from sailors all around Northern Europe. Norwegian, Icelandic, Finnish, Swedish... He barely knows any words, just the absolute basics, but he's able to tell them apart.

He learns the rest by living in the streets and sporadically meeting people.

He learns some Asian languages through the food first, since they have very good dishes with surprisingly cheap and easy-to-steal ingredients (rice becomes a big part of his diet since fast food is getting increasingly more expensive), and after that he learns some martial arts terms that he uses in pit fights

He learns some Slavic vocabulary from some girls he used to work with, even though none of them lasted too long (mostly Russian, Polish and Romanian)

He learns German from a mechanic he did some work for, who used to work at a car factory back in Düsseldorf

He learns Darija from a Moroccan restaurant in Georgia that would give him whatever scraps were left at the end of the day because he stole a nice pot for them once

He learns Farsi from some guys who had a car washing business and would let him sleep in their garage during bad winter nights (he worked as a car washer for free in return)

He learns some AAVE from a group of drag queens who regularly performed at the bar he worked as a bouncer for (and taught him how to do drag)

He learns some American English Sign Language from a guitar player in that same bar and their sister, who was a drummer

He also knows the military alphabet (from Shermie) and morse code (which he used with Ford while taking exams together and when their father demanded absolute silence)

Now let me make this clear: the last language book Stan picked up was back in high school. He barely knows how to write most of these languages, safe from Spanish and Italian(ish). He's learned by hearing and is able to differentiate accents, but he can't maintain a full conversation in most of them. He can, however, guess where someone is roughly from just by proximity to the languages he does know.

Additionally:

When Stan loses his memories, he has trouble remembering Spanish, and it fills him with dread, even if he doesn't know why. One day, after a bad nightmare, he wakes up only speaking in Spanish, and Ford doesn't know what to do. Luckily, he knows the young man that works with Stan speaks the language, and so they find a way to communicate until he comes back to his senses.

This happens a few times, each time with a different language. Ford misses the automatic universal translator he lost in Dimension 72TF-0. They learn how to use the text to speech on Google Translate for these situations.

Ford is really impressed with Stan's knowledge. He always knew his brother was good with languages, but he loves seeing him in action. He now has another reason to disprove Stanley when he says he's dumb; no, he isn't, because he's both street smart AND book smart.

Despite being good at languages, Ford is better at learning new slang lol. Stan gives up trying to understand the kids' weird words and just nods along.

What if Stanleh had spent more time in non-english speaking countries? Like he ends up knowing English but it's broken and unused? His main language is Spanish and he knows a bit of other Latin languages- then you get to his English and it's heavily New Jersey pre-school

[1chaerry]

Inferno's Promise

summary: a million chances, a million lives, one last try, Ace can't seem to understand why this new recruit keeps running from him and everyone on board, always sticking close to the nurses and creating remedies for Whitebeard but he had always been a curious one.

word count : 4k

Disclaimer: Reader is called 'Saram' meaning 'Human/Person'

Happy valentine's day to the love of my life, Portgas D. Ace

Also, special thanks to @thebunnednun cuz the Pizza Roll fic made me motivated to finally get the first part out!!

Ace didn't understand why this new recruit always seemed to be running away from the crewmates when they attempted to talk to her. She always seemed on guard, doing her job diligently, never making mistakes, always knowing what to do and where to do it without even being told. She was supposed to be a nurse but was working under all the Commanders. She never asked anything, never spoke more than needed.

He didn't like it.

People who were on the crew were like family, warmth and ease, sun rays and salty seas, they were not supposed to feel like the harsh rain and cold winters, gloomy winds and tangy rotten fruit.

He knew the feeling of rotten fruit too well and seeing someone like that left a bad taste in his mouth. It itched at him, she always was on the move. Always moving, always staying away from him.

"Saram, get the barrels!" One of the older crewmen yelled out across the deck as he tied the cargo, Ace found himself looking for the woman unconsciously, perched against the railing and eyeing the working crewmates, his eyes landed on the woman, pushing the barrel with her hands, she was rolling it, at first it was strange, the ways she used to solve chores but now it was seen as efficient.

Dark eyes followed her movement, fingers tapping, drumming against the wooden railing quietly with a light tune, hat tipped a bit forward as his eyes tracked her movements. She reminded him of a fox, cautious and alert, she always kept looking around, never one to settle in knew place, yet she did many tasks in short time spans.

"Saram, we ran out of the medicine again, make some more when you're free." Tate's voice called out, the hot pink uniform wearing nurse walking across the deck towards the plainly dressed woman, Saram immediately looked back, eyes going over Tate's silhouette. The former simply nodded in reply to Tate's words.

The drumming of his fingers continued against the wood continued, a calm look on his face as he eyed her, his jaw ticked for a moment as he watched her quietly slip through the crowds of people and get lost in the ship.

His fingers stopped.

And he walked away, the deck had become boring when she walked away.

Marco was sharp.

He picked up on things faster than most of his brothers, as 1st Division Commander he had more responsibilities than anyone under Whitebeard, eyes and senses always sharp and sensitive. Crystal blues watched Saram attentively, the way she was moving fluidly around the deck, so natural, so perfect - new recruits should not be so familiar with the way tasks happened on the Moby Dick, so at ease with the work.

Marco tilted his head slightly, watching her movements, clipboard in hand as his eyes tracked her above the clipboard, he knew that Whitebeard knew that Saram was not some 'new' recruit, she was quiet, spoken when required, understanding tasks without having to be shown and sometimes even shown, she was so one with the crew that it threw Marco off.

Lips tugged into a smirk as he watched Ace eye her calculatingly, Fire Fist's eyes shadowed by his hat, Marco knew that look, the look of interest and intrigue, a scary thing when it's from Ace. Eternal life and immortality, Marco was the embodiment of this, he took pride in it, pride in who he was, yet seeing the way Saram was blending in like a puzzle piece with the crew, he was beginning to be proud of his skills of deciphering people and their potential as well.

A hum left his throat as he ticked off more tasks, blue eyes going over the papers, Tate walked over to him as he looked through the crate piles, a simple look of greeting from the nurse before she scanned the deck for someone, Marco glanced from the papers and watched as the head nurse called the recruit.

"Saram, we ran out of the medicine again, make some more when you're free."

Saram gave a quick nod before walking through the doors and leaving the deck, Marco's glanced at the side where Ace was standing, light flickers of flames around his drumming fingertips, he raised an eyebrow discreetly to himself as he watched the Second Division Commander push himself off the railing and walk away too.

"Drumming fingers? You're in deep, huh, Ace?" Marco murmured to himself with a contemplative smile, reeking of ice and warm sun, sour grapes and sweet citrine.

The taste of iron lingered on her tongue as she chewed on the candy given to her by Tate, her hands churning the medicine, adding drops of gold liquid into the vial as she chewed quietly, the candy was sweet, maybe watermelon flavored too. The infirmary's bleak walls seemed warm and inviting, the sweet candy in her mouth melted slowly. Saram stood by the table as she mixed the medicine, this was her main task, the main reason she was able to join the Whitebeard Pirates, her medicine and the way it was curing Whitebeard.

"The candy is so sweet!" Marie squealed quietly as Tate handed her another one, the bright pink uniform of the nurses seemed to fit perfectly with the infirmary colors, Saram paused and looked around for a tube of silver liquid. Before she could move away from her work station, a tan hand placed the vial in front of her, dull eyes looked up and she took the vial with a quiet thanks, Tate smiled, eyes skimming over the medicine she was preparing.

"You have really steady hands." Marie inputs as she looked dover Tate's shoulder, "Even our hands aren't that steady and we're nurses."

"Your hands are too unstable for that dummy."

Saram paused for a moment, brief and unseen, before nodding and resuming her work, Sophie brought over empty vials for Saram to fill the medicine with. Tate stood and watched with interested eyes as the woman deftly arranged everything and prepared everything properly, so smooth, so natural, for the nurses, the woman fit in just right with them, she knew what to do and where what was, barely asking questions or throwing tantrums or complaining like the crewmen who tended to do it often.

Eventually she was left alone by them after she handed over the medicine to them for storing and administering to Whitebeard, she sighed and looked around the infirmary for a moment, the sunlight coming through the porthole window, the beds were made neatly and the whole place was empty, smelling of disinfectant and sterilizing ointment.

"Maybe, a few minutes...." She murmured and went to the very last bed at the end of the room, right by the porthole window and lay down, pulling the curtain around the bed. She didn't pull the blanket over her or move anything, quietly lying on top of the blanket and bed, not even on the pillow, eyes flickering, the warm sun rays crossed against her face and arms, her eyes closed as she fell into slumber, promising herself to wake up in a few minutes, there was still so much to do.

Saram didn't have the time to rest.

Not when there were so many lives dependent on her.

Mastering all three types of Haki enable Ace to protect himself better and be more alert, Observational Haki allowed him to find people more easily and stay more alert, he'd have to thank Thatch for that. A warm grin planted itself on his face as he walked through the hallways, smiling at his brothers, freckles face drawing smiles from everyone, Ace always brought smiles in everyone's face around him, to him they were true, for them he was the sun, warm and inviting, safe and protective.

"Are you snooping for Saram again?" Marie teased him as he wandered around the sub-infirmaries, the infirmary area was expanded after a tough battle and many wounded cremates, the infirmary area was a different section of the ship to accommodate the large crew, the girl smiled as she walked out of the storage area and Ace rubbed his nape sheepishly, feeling caught.

"Nothing like thaaaat." He drawled but Marie chuckled, she was younger than him and many of the crew members but she was also observing, she picked up on things faster, Marco and Tate praised her on those skills which she took pride in. Ace didn't fool her, he was more that snooping for the new recruit, he was absolutely smitten, everyone already knew, he didn't know that everyone knew of his new profound affections for the new recruit who barely spoke more than needed and had not interacted more than required, it was love at first sight for him, even if he didn't know, they knew that from the first moment Saram arrived on this ship and offered to heal Whitebeard, who was now much more healthy than before and more active, his skin more bright.

"Main infirmary, don't be loud." She smiled and walked away, Ace helping her with the boxes, Makino taught him good manners, this was a good manner, help people, be kind, be nice, be polite, show humility, be firm but soft. He nodded his head and walked away from her at the crossroad of the hallway, the lights hitting against his bare skin as his boots hit the wooden ground with soft taps. The lower levels of the ship were cooler, especially the infirmary section of the ship because the medicine and equipment kept here, it was a refuge for the crew on extremely hot days, only until Tate and Marco and the others came looking annoyed and scolding and driving everyone away from the area because of the crowd.

His hand pushed open the door to the main infirmary, the one where Marco worked more, the one which was used regularly, the one where a certain someone often hid away. Black boots slightly thump against the floor, quiet echoes radiating in the room, his eyes take in the seemingly empty infirmary, it was cold and felt uninviting, no matter how much anyone came here, how much he came here, Ace could never find the infirmary warm, it was always cold and unwelcoming.

Ace's ears picked up the sound of quiet snores, barely even there, if he didn't have observational Haki, he would not have noticed, quietly and nimbly, he walked towards the source of the sound. His steps slowed as he walked over to the last bed, the curtains drawn, hand slowly raising up to the fabric and pulling it slightly away, breathe catching in his throat as the sight of Saram came into view, the warm rays of light fell upon her slumbering figure almost like art, frecks of light across her, hair tousled and sprawled around her head as she breathes in and out slowly, quietly, hands near her face, loosely clenched as she was curled into her self slightly.

Time stood still for a moment as he stared at her, the sight so quiet and peaceful that took away the cold of the infirmary, his eyes were trained on her face, noting how tired she looked, everyone, he, himself, saw her as this strong wall that would never budge, no sign of wear or chips, Saram had painted herself as someone untouchable, unreachable, someone warm, someone tangy, someone dependable, someone kind: but how was she really?

The freckled fire wielder walked soundlessly towards her, the curtain falling back into place as he stood by her head, wordlessly he sat down on the bed's empty space beside her head, blocking the sun's rays from hitting her face, he didn't realize that his body was instinctively providing shade for her, it felt almost natural for him to do so, to sit and cover her from the harshness, to offer comfort to Saram. Ace's hand shifted, brushing away the hair framing her face and letting it linger near her cheek, his eyes softened, face loosening as she snuggled her face against his palm in her sleep.

His body was naturally warmer than others due to his devil fruit, skin always radiating heat, his crewmates would complain when he smothered them in the hot summer, whining or groaning at the hot warmth, but Saram seemed, in her sleep, to seek the warmth of his palm more, the length of his arm was like a source of warmth for her, her fingers and hands loosely pulling it close to her face and body. Ace could not bring himself to pull away from her touch, not when she looked so peaceful and at ease and childlike.

"Who are you, Saram?" Ace murmured, voice quiet, unlike his usual loud, boisterous self.

The sound of the ship's machinery echoing around them, the sound of the crew, the sound of the crates moving, the sound of Whitebeard's laugh - everything faded away into silence and only remained the sound of waves against the ship and around them. Everything faded away as he sat there, his arm held by Saram in her sleep, the warm rays of the sun on his bare back, the Whitebeard tattoo highlighted and reflected in the mirror on the wall, it reflected a picture of a tattoo, a freckled back, a man and woman.

And so Ace sat there, watching her with warm, kind eyes as she slept, lips pulled into a smile as she snuggled into his palm.

"I hope you're having a good dream." He smiled and brushed away the stray hairs on her face.

It was warm.

Warm and comforting, the smell of smoke and sun and salt, the feeling of heat and love and a foundation, she knew this, knew this feeling, knew him.

"Someday, I'll make you my wife, Saram!"

Shadowed eyes, a big bright smile, freckled skin, the freckles on his body and the tattoo on his bicep.

"When I come back, I'll never leave."

Orange hat, red bead necklace, striped thread bracelet, black boots and the sound of familiar laughter.

"I love you, Saram."

Starry nights, stolen kisses on the Striker, Deuce teasing them, the sound of waves, the feeling of salt water on her skin and the heat under the moon.

"Thank you for loving me."

She woke up with a gasp, her lungs unstable, throat closing as she sat up, rubbing her neck, breathing, trying to force herself to breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe! Cold sweat dripped down her skin as the cold moonlight fell upon her skin, the warm infirmary clashing against her iced skin, her ears were ringing, her vision blurry and swimming, she needed to get out, she needed to breathe, she needed to move—

"Saram?"

Her head moved instinctively before her eyes moved up, the ringing stopping, vision clearing as the flame walked closer to her, the warmth heating her skin as the cold moonlight hid away, she could breathe now, she could breathe now, she wasn't drowning.

"You okay?"

She didn't trust herself to speak, something was clogging her airways, she was drowning mere seconds ago, she was doing just fine, she was living, she was working, how could she fall apart like? She hadn't touched Fire Fist even a little bit. Why was her body and mind crashing again? Why? Why? Like every time when they touched, why was her soul crashing when she didn't even touch him this time.

"Marco, did Ace come in here by any chance?" She whispered to the doctor who stopped for a moment, his eyes narrowing, blue flames flickered around him for a moment, his instincts screaming.

"I think he did."

Ace leaned against the railing as he stared at the starry skies, eyes trained on the stars in the blue and black sea, his mind was full of Saram, her eyes, the way she worked, the way she solved problems wordlessly, the way she attended to Whitebeard, the way she slept — his face reddened at that thought, that's no good, going down that road of thoughts was bad.

"You like her." Haruta grinned as he perched onto the barrel beside the flame user, caressing his own mug of alcohol as he watched the freckled sun in amusement, "Really, really like her. Love her, I might even say."

"I don't love Saram." Ace retorted.

"I didn't say Saram."

Ace froze before chuckling, shaking his head, "Too witty, Haruta, too witty."

"Gonna tell her?"

"No, I think.." Ace paused as he thought back to the moment in the infirmary, "I think she already knows."

"I didn't ask whether she knows or not, I asked whether you will tell her or not."

"Don't rush me!"

"Might be good to hurry before someone else takes her away — ack!"

Haruta yelped as Ace burst into flames, literally, the latter himself looked surprised of his actions, he panicked and attempted to go back to normal, he pats his body, frantically trying to douse the fire, Haruta cackles loudly, drinking the alcohol, "Fire boy is in love."

"Go sleep!"

Turns out, Ace would have to face his feelings sooner than he had thought, if the situation at the moment indicated anything. He sighed as Whitebeard assigned him onto a mission with Saram, alone, far away, to act as a couple, a married couple. He had felt his heart drop when they announced it, now he watched as his division set up Striker. Saram came a few minutes later, a side bag slung across her body.

"Ready?" She asked quietly, looking Striker, while he kept looking at her side profile. He zoned out and didn't realize that she was calling or talking to him.

"Ace?" She snapped her fingers in front of his face and he flinched before nodding, "Y-Yes! I'm listening, let's go."

He jumped onto Striker first, his flames softening his jump, he looked up to see Saram still on the edge of the ship, a frown, barely visible on her lips, he felt himself raise an eyebrow, this was the first time he saw her hesitating and frowning, "Something wrong?" He asked, placing a hand on his hip.

"We're taking Striker?" She asked, voice quiet like always.

"Of course." He grinned and almost laughed as she shrunk back like a cat, "You, are you scared?"

At his words, Saram shook her head, "I am no—"

"I'll catch you, jump." He grinned, warm and intense, eyes bearing promise, her stomach churned at the intense gaze, dark eyes holding vows.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

She squeezed her eyes and jumped, praying for the best, a gasp left her involuntarily when hot hands gripped her waist, feet not touching the ground, her eyes opened sharply as she looked down at him, the gummy smile with those freckles that painted his face like a canvas, he was warm, radiating heat like the sun, it always kept her safe.

"Told ya I'd catch you." He gave that signature smirk of his and Saram pushed her palm against his face, smothering it as he let out a sound of surprise, letting go of her as she stood to her feet.

"Less talking, more working."

"No thanks?" He rubbed his nose as she placed her bag onto the ground, his eyes tracked how she seemed to walk towards a corner of Striker and put her things in a manner that seemed almost practiced and used to, she even knew to lean away from the jets.

"Lets go, we have a tight schedule." Saram said as she pulled out a small map and traced it with a stencil, Ace grinned and walked towards her, planting his feet firmly against the floor of Striker, he pulled his flames and the small boat surged forward, activated by flames, he glanced back at her, "Hold on tight."

"Alright." She nodded, eyes tracing the map she had in her hand, the stencil held in her hand, she seemed perfectly balanced even as Ace increased the speed of the engines sending it soaring through the waters.

Unknown to Ace, who was looking forward with a smile, following his eternal log pose, Saram looked up at him from her seat on the floor of the small, if not tiny, boat, her eyes softening at the youthful gaze on his face, the sprinkle of sea water against him, the flow of his wavy black hair, the way he held onto his hat with one hand and that signature smug smile of his, a small, barely noticeable smile pulled onto her own lips as she looked back to the map, the Moby Dick far, far away from them.

The journey was not long but it was difficult, it was night now, colder than before, way colder than before, she was quietly watching the waves as Ace used his flames to propel the boat slowly. The latter looked at her before sitting down beside her in the squished space, their sides pressed against each other as they sat side by side.

"You're too close." Saram remarked, eyes on the waves.

"Boats small."

"uh-huh." She gave him an unimpressed look.

"Ace is dead."

The words hurt her, they tore her apart, she knew, she knew he was dead, that he was not coming back, that he was gone buried six feet under with her soul and heart while her body lived on the ground.

"I know." She whispered as she drew the last engravement in the circle.

"Then why—"

"I'll save him, Marco." She says to him through the transponder snail, knelt on the ground, fingertips rough and calloused, it has been days, weeks, months but still she was still in a loop of having dreams of his death, the blood, the tears, the scream, the words he spoke as life left him—

"Thank you for loving me."

A moment of silence before Marco spoke again, "....you know it's not your fault, right, yoi?"

Her hands paused, eyes unfocused, staring at the picture on the wall that she had pinned, that smile, that warmth, the towering height of Whitebeard, the charisma of Izou, the witty remarks of Thatch, the smug smile of Marco and the way everyone in the picture was smiling and playing around.

"It doesn't reduce the guilt of surviving when they didn't." She whispered but Marco caught it, something in him stirred, a fear of sorts, he knew that Saram could be rash in her decisions, he had a feeling she was doing something she shouldn't.

"Saram," His voice was low as he began, "Where is the book of Kronos, yoi?"

Saram smiled to herself and looked at the transponder snail, not replying and that deepened his fear, the book of Kronos was a book they obtained from a merchant, said to have the ability to transcend time, Izou and Whitebeard always used to say that messing with time had repercussions, that time was horrid and that it should not be touched, therefore the book was hidden deep away from everyone, deep within that locker in Whitebeard's room.

"Just so we're clear Marco, you never could have stopped me." She said into the transponder, Marco's heart stammered as her resigned tone of voice sounded out of the transponder, he jumped to his feet, panic in his lungs, taste of copper and iron and sour grapes filled his mouths as he yelled into the device.

"Don't do it, yoi! Messing with time is—"

"Bad? Cursed? I don't care, Marco, I want my family back, I want Ace back." She said and reached ber hand towards the snail, "For what it's worth, thank you for being the brother I never had."

"Saram—!"

The call cut off as Marco stared in silence at the transponder snail, he slumped over his table as he stilled, gripping his hair with one hand while the other clenched around his table edge, was this it? As the First Commander, he was supposed to be the strong, able to manage people and himself. Why was he losing it all? Why? Why were all his loved ones slipping through his fingers? Was this the curse of being a phoenix? Immortality and eternal life gained, in exchanged of watching his loved ones mix into the sands of time?

"Where did we go wrong, yoi?" He said quietly, a sob choked in the back of his throat, so cruel, so sweet, so harsh, "Pops, Ace, Thatch, Izou - I don't know what to do."

And under the cold moonlight, the phoenix fell apart, immortality like the chains that clung to it's free self, freedom at the cost of being a slave to the very thing that made him soar the skies, was this redemption? Was this karmic debt?

Saram took a deep breath as she stepped into the circle, a smile on her lips as golden and blue glowed around her, encasing her in a cocoon, the last thing she saw was the picture on her wall, her family, her love, staring at her as her body was tugged apart by the powers of the incantation.

"Sorry, we only have one room." The receptionist apologized and Ace felt his ears heat up, one room, with Saram, alone, was just a spell for disaster. Ace glanced back at Saram who was looking around the lobby but he could tell that she was alert, the way her eyes kept darting around, their eyes met and she gave a questioning look, he shook his head and looked back at the receptionist.

"We'll take it."

He didn't acknowledge the look that the receptionist gave as he took the keys to their room, Saram grabbed her bag while Ace did the same, the two walked in the direction of their room. There was a comfortable silence as they walked, Saram was quiet and looking around as they travelled down the hallways.

"If you feel that sharing a room with me is troubling, I can get another room in another inn."

It was the first thing Saram said when they walked into the room, Ace turned to her in surprise, eyes slightly wide before shaking his head, "No, really. It's fine."

He pretended to ignore his racing heart, his burning ears and the heat across his back. Saram pretended that she didn't notice his fingers twitching, the muscle pulsing on his neck, the slow blinks he unknowingly did to calm himself down - how would she explain that she knew his habits from another life? And so they both pretended, unknown to Ace, that they didn't know about his feelings.

Saram freshened up before Ace, dressed in comfortable clothes and hair slightly dripping wet on the tips, a quiet yawn leaving her as Ace looked up from untying his boots by the couch. A quiet, untampered eye contact occured as the two stared at each other.

"I left warm water for you."

"Thanks."

"Remember to put your boots by the door and not on the carpet."

"Got it."

"Ace."

"Yeah?"

"Will you stop staring at me and go take a shower already?"

She had a small unnoticeable smile as Ace scampered to the bathroom, his tanned skin slightly flush, Saram shook her head and used the towel to soak her hair dry. Saram walked around the room barefoot, the feeling of the soft carpet under her feet felt nice, and soothing even, Marco had told them to get a hotel closest to the infiltration area for better surveillance.

Ironically, only expensive and luxurious hotels were near the area and so the duo had to opt for a room quite above their expectations. She practically dragged Ace to this place after talking to Marco over the transponder because he was constantly walking towards the inns that were way, way far off.

She eyed the two pairs of shoes by the couch, one was her's and the other Ace's, call it being bossy but ahe didn't want the pretty carpets of their room to look dirty, and Ace's shoes were REALLY dirty. Saram sat on the windowsill, the binoculars in her hand as she used them to watch the casino they were suppsed to infiltrate.

Usually, Izou would carry out these infiltration missions but he was away with his division on another mission and the other divisions were slumped with work, that left her and Ace, who had just returned from his most recent mission, to be the ones to carry this out because there was no way she was letting the nurses on something as dangerous as this regardless of how tough they were.

Her eyes tracked the target who was mingling with the rich people of the casino, the hand gestures, the way they held themselves, the behaviorisms, the outfits - Saram noted it all, eyes narrowing as she watched through the binoculars.

"Tracking them already?" Ace's voice came from behind, she nodded, eyes still looking through the binoculars, not paying attention as Ace came to stand directly behind her, his eyes curious to look outside. Saram turned her head and immediately froze, Ace glanced and stilled.

There was a minimum distance behind their faces, Ace's body was still slightly damp from his shower, black hair tips dripping water onto her skin, heat emanating from his skin and she remembers that Ace ran hot, literally. Saram opened her mouth to speak but the words in her head never made it to her tongue as she stared at him. Her eyes watched the droplet of water slide down his neck and then averted her eyes back to his face, only for heat to blossom in her chest as she saw his gaze trained on her, steady and unadulterated.

Ace licked his lips as he stared at her, his hands clenching and unclenching and clenching by his sides constantly as she gazed back at him. He knew this was risky, feelings like his were dangerous, this was dangerous. Saram was someone who was in danger from him, he was afraid that he would consume her, her very essence was something he craved and at this moment, Portgas D. Ace wanted nothing more than to let himself consume her.

"You know, right?"

Saram did not reply to him but the way she averted her eyes was enough of an answer. Ace felt his chest clench, she knew that he was enamored with her, maybe even in love and yet she refused to speak of it, speak of him, speak of the way he, too, knew that she would always stay on deck on fixed times during his chores, be near the training yards during his spar sessions doing tasks, how she always administered medicine to Whitebeard whenever he was near the Yonko.

"You will drown, Ace, I am no good for you."

He smiled, that boyish smile she knew from another lifetime, that smile which she could not hold onto. At this moment, she saw something almost feral strange.

"Who says I am afraid of drowning?"

"You should be."

"Are you?"

Saram blinked, fingers slowly sliding up his nape, twisting into his dark locks, pulling him closer, lips ghosting against his, "I should be."

"Saram, I lo-"

And she placed her palm over his mouth, stopping him from speaking, shaking her head, "Don't, not here, not now."

His eyes bore into her own as she spoke, something almost raw and primal flashed in his eyes, Saram licked her lips as she continued, "Reach your 21st birthday and then," she paused, "I will confess to you. Not before that."

A moment of silence before his eyes lidded slightly, hot hand coming to hold her wrist, her breathe hitched as he kissed her wrist, his eyes on her, damp wavy hair shadowing his eyes.

"21st birthday, huh?"

Saram felt her throat dry up as he continued speaking.

"Then prepare yourself, Saram." He said lowly, all mirth and playfulness gone from his tone, his eyes dark and gleaming, "On my 21st birthday, I will devour you."

She gasped quietly as he bit her wrist, heart stammering, only one thought in her head.

Fuck, I am in trouble.

taglist: @captainportgasdace @hannahbarberra162

[tinfoil-jones]

Jerk Ford AU: Eloquent as F***

At the end of the day Jerk Ford is still a Stanford Pines, and while he isn’t a theatre kid like his twin brother, he still has a flair for the dramatics just like his canon self.

A little known fact (little known until it’s too late), Jerk Ford is really good with words and wordplay! It's something a lot of his variants don’t usually pick up at first because he speaks to people with casual, common, and crude language.

Here’s an example of how he normally talks to other Fords (and most people):

Another AU Ford: You’re a blight upon the name 'Dr. Stanford Pines'.  Jerk Ford: And you’re a bitch whore, anything else obvious you want to say? Big ego having ass.

It takes a lot to get a rise out of Jerk Ford, because as previously stated you can’t be mean to Jerk Ford, he sees it as a contest of who can be a bigger jerk and he’s always the biggest jerk. In an unforgiving multiverse full of monsters, demons, and aliens, where he’s pretty low in terms of physical abilities just compared to other versions of himself, his wit and biting words were his only real offense and defense. So if really wanted to verbally tear somebody apart, he could.

Here’s an example of a situation where Jerk Ford would flex his real, actual oratory skills:

Not a lot of Fords have asked Jerk Ford about his brother, but a fair portion of the one who actually did questioned why he was so lenient towards his twin brother who ruined his life twice (the college rejection, the portal incident). And usually Jerk Ford would just roll his eyes and say something along the lines of "Why are you worrying about someone else's brother?" Because he knows his alternates don't actually want to see his point of view, they just want to argue against it, because it goes against their own idea about their relationship (or lack thereof) with their Stan.

But, let's say there's a Ford out there who either manages to get a rise out of Jerk Ford, or who is willing to seriously consider an alternate viewpoint (both unlikely).

(The following is specifically if the motion machine is used as an argument)

"I was mad. Of course I was mad! From my perspective, the person I trusted most in the whole world had sabotaged and betrayed me! And I had to take his word for it that it was an accident and not on purpose! We are the same person, of course I know how you felt because I felt the same. Where we differed is that I asked myself a question; do I want to be angry and have my brother, or do I want to be angry and be alone? I chose my brother, and I was angry for a while, and believe me I gave him s**t about it for years, but I got over it. If you asked yourself the same question... you made the wrong f***ing choice, because you chose being right over being happy. That's why you're a genius, with near limitless potential, yet you're still a miserable fool who never got over it. No wonder you don't care about going home. There's only one person who would still be waiting for you all of this time later, and you're still putting your pride first."

---

Reminder that The Artist has a playlist for Jerk Ford. Although this is a playlist about him and not necessarily what he would listen to.

While he likes Kendrick Lamar's music, it's not genre that catches his fancy; he likes artists who are good at wordplay and use inventive lyrics, just happens to fall under rap and hip hop because wordplay is a big part of rap.

[nomie-11]

Right Wing - Part 1

masterlist!

synopsis: everything this year should have gone great—your second year as the starting center, your first year as captain—your last season at Boston university should have been amazing, until your new right wing showed up (soulmate au)

pairings: ellie williams x reader (no use of y/n)

All of your friends had something cute tattooed on the inside of their wrists. All of them had something soft, something endearing, that made them excited to meet their soulmate. 

Caitlyn had ‘cupcake’ in a bright red on her left wrist, and Vi had ‘my love’ in a soft, deep blue (and the two of them were soulmates, because duh), but you? You had ‘fuck’ in a deep forest green, too dark to fully cover with any concealer no matter how hard you tried. 

What batshit crazy soulmate did you have? 

You tried to rationalize it a hundred different ways. Maybe your soulmate had a terrible habit of cursing and just… said fuck a lot. Maybe it wasn’t even directed at you—maybe they just had a foul mouth and you just happened to be in the vicinity every time they opened it. 

It was wishful thinking. Everyone else got something sweet, something that made sense, something that didn’t make their parents tense up every time they saw it. Even Abby got something adorable, but you, on the other hand, had been stuck with the eternal mystery of why your one true love couldn’t seem to say anything to you without swearing. 

Still, it wasn’t like you had too much time to dwell on it. Between keeping up with pre-med classes and training for the Boston University Women’s Hockey Team, you had plenty to keep yourself busy with. You were starting your senior year now, already solidified in your spot as starting center and captain, and things were looking up. 

At least, until the first team meeting of the season. 

Your coach had brought in the new recruits, a handful of fresh faces standing near the lockers as the returning players tricked in. You took a seat on the bench, idly tapping your stick as you half-listened to Coach’s rundown—same drill as every year, welcome the new girls, be a team, say hello to your new captain and vice-captain (wave, smile, show all the other girls that you got this), don’t be an asshole, blah, blah, blah. 

Then you heard her. 

Or more accurately, you heard, “For fuck’s sake–” followed by the distinct clang of a hockey stick hitting the metal lockers. 

You turned just in time to see a girl standing there, auburn hair tied messily back, green eyes sharp with frustration as she yanked the laces on her skates like they’d personally offended her. 

“Ah, there she is!” Your coach beamed as she clambered in. “This is Ellie Williams, transfer from University of Vermont. She’s a junior and our new starting right wing. Get used to her.” 

Ellie Williams. The newest right wing. And, apparently, the most pissed-off person in the room. 

“Fucking—stupid—goddamn—” she muttered under her breath, her fingers struggling with the knot before she finally growled and yanked it loose. 

Your wrist burned, your stomach dropped. 

Oh, fuck. 

You looked down at the dark green script on your skin, the very same word that had plagued you for years. Then, slowly, your gaze lifted back to her, your supposed soulmate—still cursing, still scowling, completely unaware that she had just shattered your entire world with nothing but a pissed-off comment about her skates. 

Holy shit. 

You were so screwed. 

—------------------------------

Ellie was impossible. You were convinced of it by the third practice of the season. You were hot on her tail as she closed in on Dina, Caitlyn open and waiting by the net for her pass to get it past Dina, who was entirely too focused on the steadily approaching battering ram of 5’5” Ellie Williams. 

The scrimmage was going well before she had gotten the puck and gotten it into her head that she needed to be the one to score, and you were seething as you approached. 

“Pass the stupid puck!” You barked, skating up behind her. Despite being on the opposing team for this scrimmage, you did want to see improvement in your team as a whole, and that depended on Ellie meshing well into the starting line-up you had already solidified and perfected last year. 

Ellie ignored you, because of course she did. She always did. She had a goddamn problem with listening to anyone, but it seemed as if it was worse when it came to you. 

She weaved past Abby, barely keeping control of the puck as she advanced on the goal. Caitlyn was wide open, her stick tapping against the ice in anticipation. It would have been an easy shot—a guaranteed point. 

But Ellie refused, she always refused. 

And then, in the span of a second, her mistake cost her.

Vi had been waiting, watching, and as Ellie tried to cut inside for a last-second shot, Vi stepped up, her shoulder slamming into Ellie’s chest with brutal precision. Ellie hit the ice hard, her stick skittering away, the puck stolen in one clean motion. 

You skated past her without so much as a glance, catching Vi’s pass and redirecting the play back down to the other end of the rink. 

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Ellie groaned from the ice, shoving herself upright with a wince. “What the hell was that?” 

Vi smirked, adjusting her helmet as she skated backward. “That was defense from someone built like a brick wall, dumbass. Maybe if you passed the puck, you wouldn’t have eaten shit.” 

“Fuck you,” Ellie shot back. 

Vi just winked. “Not my type, sweetheart.” 

The whistle blew, signaling the end of the scrimmage. 

You didn’t even wait for Ellie to get up before you stormed toward the benches, your blood boiling. This wasn’t the first time she had refused to pass, and it wasn’t going to be the last. It wouldn’t matter how many times Abby and Vi managed to knock her down on her ass, you could already tell, she was stubborn, reckless, and completely insufferable. 

“Nice one, Cap,” Dina called as she peeled off her goalie gloves, grinning. “You looked like you wanted to kill her.”

“I do,” you muttered, yanking off your helmet and running a hand through your sweat-damp hair. 

Ellie finally made it to the bench, still rubbing her ribs as she flopped down next to Caitlyn, scowling. “Vi plays like an asshole.” 

“You play like an idiot,” you shot back, not even looking at her. “If you had just passed the puck, you wouldn't have gotten laid out.” 

“Oh, my bad Captain Perfect,” Ellie sneered. “I didn’t realize we were running drills for the peewee league.” 

You turned then, your jaw tight. “We’re a team, Williams. Not a one-man show. If you can’t figure that out, you’re useless to us, and I’m benching you.” 

Ellie’s glare darkened, her hands clenched into fists over her pads. The locker room was quiet now, everyone else watching the two of you with varying degrees of amusement and concern. 

Finally, she let out a short, humorless laugh, shaking her head. “Yeah? Well, at least I don’t sound like a broken record.” 

You scoffed. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” 

Ellie leaned back, tilting her head at you. “Pass the stupid puck, pass the stupid puck,” she mimicked in an exaggerated voice. “Fuck, you ever say anything else?” 

Your stomach twisted, your wrist burned, because of course she would say it. Because that was the word. 

Ellie didn’t know. She had no idea. And you were starting to think maybe she never would. 

“Jesus christ, just shut up,” you snapped, shoving your gear into your bag before standing. “Don’t test Vi or Abby next time, listen to the call, and pass the puck. Or don’t, I will not hesitate to bench you for the rest of the season.” 

Ellie just smirked, eyes flickering down to where you pressed your hand against the sleeve that covered the tattoo on your wrist. “Yeah, sure, Captain Perfect.” 

You were ready to strangle a bitch. 

—------------------------------

You were already regretting your decision to let Ellie join the team’s late-night study session. 

The dorm common room was dimly lit, the overhead fluorescent lights of the student athlete housing casting a dull glow over the cluster of books, notebooks, and laptops strewn across the floor and coffee table. It smelled like stale coffee and the remnants of whatever takeout Abby had picked up earlier. Every had settled into their usual spots–Caitlyn cross-legged on the couch, neatly organizing her color-coded criminology notes; Vi leaning back with her arm draped of Caitlyn’s waist, flipping through an anatomy textbook like it personally offended her; Abby hunched over her laptop in the armchair, typing what had to the the world’s most aggressive essay on east asian monks; and Dina curled up with her tablet, half-studying early childhood education, half-watching some dumb sitcom with the volume so low it was barely a murmur. 

And then there was Ellie. 

Ellie, who had taken over the floor, stretched out across the rug with her hockey stick balanced across her shoulders like she was waiting for practice to start instead of actually studying. She didn’t even have a book in front of her—just a ratty black sketchbook, which ske kept flipping over and tapping at with her pen in boredom. Every few minutes, she would sigh dramatically, shift positions, or—worst of all—start spinning her pen between her fingers like a baton. 

You gritted your teeth, eyes scanning the physiology textbook in your lap as you tried to stay focused. 

A moment of silence. 

Then: tap, tap, tap. 

You inhaled slowly. Another pause. 

Tap tap tap tap tap. 

You slammed your book shut, looking up. “Ellie, if you don’t stop, I swear to God—”

Ellie blinked up at you innocently, shifting her grip on her stick. “What? I’m not doing anything.” 

“You’re tapping.” 

She shrugged. “Didn’t know tapping was a crime.”

“It is now,” you muttered, rubbing your temple. “Either sit still or go back to your dorm.” 

Ellie smirked, tilting her head as she propped herself up on her elbows. “Why? Am I distracting you?” 

“No. You’re annoying me.” 

Vi, who had been watching this exchange like it was the most entertaining thing in the world, let out a low laugh. “Ellie, I think you should take this win. That’s like the most words Cap’s said to you outside of screaming at you on the ice.” 

Your ears burned, and you scowled at Vi. “I don’t scream—”

“You definitely scream,” Abby muttered from across the room, not even looking up from her laptop. 

Dina snorted, adjusting her (old lady) reading glasses as she smirked at you. “Yeah, I think you’ve told Ellie to pass the stupid puck at least a hundred times today alone.” 

Ellie grinned, her green eyes gleaming with mischief. “Kinda cute, honestly.” 

Your stomach did something you definitely didn’t like. You immediately buried it under a wave of irritation, refusing to let yourself react. 

“If you actually studied,” you said through gritted teeth, “maybe you wouldn’t be failing chemistry.”

Ellie gasped in mock offense, pressing a hand to her chest. “Wow, Captain Perfect, you’ve actually been paying attention to me.” 

You wanted to throttle her.

“I pay attention to all my teammates,” you said flatly, flipping your textbook open again. “That’s my job.” 

Ellie hummed, rolling onto her side, facing you. “Y’know,” she mused, tapping her fingers idly against her knee, “for someone who’s always telling me to use my team, you sure don’t let anyone close.” 

The words sent a sharp jolt through your chest, and you hated how much they hit home. 

You stiffened, your grip tightening on the highlighter in your hand. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Ellie shrugged. “You keep everyone around you at arm’s length. You’re the captain, and these girls are all your best friends, but how much do they really know about you? You don’t make jokes about yourself, you deflect every time someone asks you about anything remotely personal, you’re always first to shut someone up and the last to let anyone see you slip up. Kinda weird for someone who’s supposed to be all about teamwork, don’t you think?” 

Your pulse pounded in your ears. 

She didn’t know. She couldn’t know.

You had spent years perfecting this distance, keeping people at just the right length to avoid anything too personal, too close—to dangerous. Despite the attachment you had formed to your core four teammates, if any of them figured out why you kept your sleeves pulled down, why you flinched just slightly whenever Ellie muttered a frustrated fuck under her breath, the whole team dynamic would crumble. 

Because if anyone found out the truth—that the words permanently inked on your wrist, the words you would hear most often from your soulmate, were the same ones Ellie Williams spat out every other second—

You didn’t even want to think about it. 

So you didn’t. 

You pushed it down, locked it away, and forced yourself to keep your expression unreadable as you turned back to your textbook. “Focus on the playbook, Williams.” 

Ellie watched you for a long moment, her smirk fading into something more thoughtful, more curious. It made your skin prickle, like she was seeing something you hadn’t meant to let slip. 

Finally, she let out a low breath, shaking her head. 

“You’re hiding something.” 

Your stomach twisted. “What?’ 

She turned her head slightly, eyes sharp. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

Her gaze flickered down—to your wrist, still covered with tape. 

Your pulse spiked. 

Ellie tilted her head. “You always wear that.” 

You shrugged. “Old injury.”

She didn’t look convinced. “Whatever you say, Captain Perfect.” 

And just like that, the moment passed. 

Ellie went back to fidgeting, Caitlyn returned to her notes, and the others resumed their work as if nothing had happened. 

But you felt it. 

The way your wrists burned just a little hotter, the ink a little darker than before. 

It was like fire on ice, and deep down, you knew that you were melting. 

This is the first part of a multi-part series!

If you enjoyed this, please check out my other series!