#'i think its a crazy insult for you to call me homophobic :(( how could you :(('
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thanks for such a thurough reply ive loved ur page for a reallyyyy long time!!! also yes frankly ive found some m/m authors who i know wont pull that stuff bc they write long form and have already established early on that its actually gay so like idk people say im a fake lesbian for mostly reading m/m but its not even smut so like not to delve into gold star discourse but does yaoi fluff really take away the gold star lmfao
You’re welcome, and thank you! 💖💖
I’ve fallen out of reading fanfiction, mostly because I’ve been burned by it too many times. Even the authors I figured I could trust to not be sexist or homophobic would have some stupid line snuck in that feels like a way to say “don’t worry, everyone, I’m a follower of genderism!”. But I’m always happy for ladies who’ve managed to find things that work for them!
I think it’s really stupid to assume that a lesbian is actually straight or bi because she enjoys M/M content. I find that lesbians are held under such scrutiny with every single thing we do, in a way that gay men are not. For example, if a gay man stans Lady Gaga, nobody assumes that he’s actually bi/straight and is attracted to her. But if a lesbian stans some male celebrity or character, it’s assumed that she wants to fuck him. Which is very insulting to women, this idea that we’d only pay attention to a celeb/character if we want to fuck them. Because it implies that we’re not capable of just enjoying somebody’s artistry, or the complexity of a character the same way men are.
Personally, I’m not watching or reading things just to be horny? Okay, I’ll admit to sometimes rewatching First Kill just so I can thirst over Elinor lol, but that’s not the only reason I watch it. I genuinely love the show, the hot evil woman is just a bonus. There’s so much more to experiencing a work than just being attracted to the people/characters in it. And again, I think it’s incredibly offensive when people imply that women aren’t capable of experiencing that full range of emotions and thoughts—that our interest must start and end at sexual attraction.
And all of this applies to fanfiction. I’m just focusing on the person aspect because like I said, I haven’t read fanfiction in a long while.
Now, are there women in fandom who call themselves lesbians but clearly aren’t? Absolutely, and they drive me crazy. But it’s not just because they’re reading M/M fan fiction. It’s because they’re posting about how much they want to fuck some guy because “he’s my one exception!”. In that case, I’d hope we can all agree that that is not a lesbian. Or on the slightly less obnoxious side, they’re talking about male celebs/characters in a way that clearly shows they’re coming from a place of sexual attraction (I’ve actually seen this in particular more from self-proclaimed “asexual” women than self-proclaimed “lesbians”. They claim they’re some form of “aspec”, then start raving about a man the same way a straight or bi woman would. Nothing wrong with that, but be honest with yourselves ffs).
But if you’re just reading M/M fan fiction because you’re invested in male characters and want to see them happy? That has nothing to do with sexuality. And anyone who claims it does needs to reassess why they believe that women are so shallow that we can’t enjoy anything that we aren’t horny over.
#that’s my tangent for today I guess 😂#anyway I should watch first kill again and everyone should watch it too#asks#anon
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SCREAMINGASDSFKLSDKL
#i check back on an account i havent been on in months and APPARENTLY ive got a notif from some thread i remember making like. last year.#october 2020 oh my god. its been A WHILE.#the person i messaged NEVER responded me back despite me even renotifying the thread in case they didnt see it#they just. purposely ignored me lmaooo and now?? like?? almost a year and a half later when both of us are inactive they RESPOND#OUT OF NOWHERE. WHAT.#and not only that!! but i previously messaged them bc they were being rlly homophobic#i remember it was some whole drama happening back then but like! its been forever! the person left! we all forgot them! its over!#but now for literally no reason they FINALLY RESPONDED to my message and theyre just like#'sorry you think im being homophobic but im not :(( i dont hate gay people! i hate being gay! i hate the sin not the sinner!'#'i think its a crazy insult for you to call me homophobic :(( how could you :(('#'dont hate me i wanna be friends :((((' LIKE HI WHAT IM DYING OVER HERE#brooo this persons alternating between outright hostility and 'i genuinely wanna be your friend' every other paragraph#god this stuff used to happen so much its almost funny... i havent seen it in a while bc i went inactive over there but. wow.#OH HEY WAIT I JUST SAW. THEY GAVE ME A LINK.#'10 things everyone should know about a christian view of homosexuality' i might be hysterical rn#homophobia tw#ask to tag#avery rambles
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Operation: Pop The Cherry | JJK
Jungkook x Virgin!Reader
Genre: Smut
Warnings: rough bathroom sex, college au, unprotected sex, teasing, fingering, Jungkook has a virgin kink if you couldn’t tell by he title, lowkey sadistic JK, Gay BFF Jimin, mentions of alcohol and weed, brief mention of homophobia. bIG diCK Jungkook, more belly bulging, and I forgot what else
Word Count: 6.1k
Summary: Against you better judgement and thank to your best friend Jimin. You somehow agreed to let a stranger on campus known as the Cherry Popper, too well..pop your cherry.
Alternatively: You're a virgin. Jungkook has a fetish/kink for fucking virgins.
A/N: I guess i’ll keep putting this note until i stop reposting my old stories. I use to be lizardsocial, and this fic was previously called Game. You may still be able to find it somewhere on tumblr. I edited this fic heavily and it’s honestly a new story, but there are still some elements from the fic it used to be still in there. Unedited so please let me know of any mistakes or typos. Like, comment, reblog, let me know what you think. Enjoy!
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Bass boosted pop music seeped through the dense walls of the energetic room. Strobing bright colored beams danced to the rhythm of the music in mesmerizing synchrony. The musty odor of marijuana, booze, and sex-saturated air shrouded the room in a turbid veil, covering the sea of drunken undulating bodies packed in the cramped living room. Empty beer cans and other various booze bottles mixed with burnt-out blunts accompanied the young adults. You groaned with irritation and disgust. You didn't want to be here, but to your chagrin, you had a promise to keep.
It wasn't a secret that the college nightlife was unquestionably not your type of 'scene.' You quite frequently elected to willingly engage most of your time in your freshman dorm, wrapped in your weighted burrito blanket. A nightstand stockpiled with all your favorite snacks, lights dimmed low, and lavender incense burning, filling your room with the aroma of relaxation. The perfect setting to binge-watch your favorite show for the umpteenth time, the shifting distorted brightness of your computer screen, projecting the scenes against your face.
It's kind of funny how you got yourself into this mess in the first place. The one time you decide to take the chance and branch away from the alternate antisocial hermit, your personality had adopted as its own had come back to bite you in the ass. You admit, lately, you've been neglecting your best friend. Your reasonings generally varying from the classic 'oh I was sleep' to deliberately silencing your phone, not wanting to hear the constant shrill ringing of the default ringtone. You loved Jimin, you truly did, but you could only take so much of his eccentric mashup of bubblegum and rainbow sparkles that was his personality. Eventually, guilt began eating away at you piece by piece until you ultimately caved in and invited your friend over for an impromptu movie night in your dorm room.
Not even 30 minutes into the movie, one that you had been dying to see, might you add, Jimin commenced his drunk and high chattering. He had already started 'pre-gaming' before he came over; Six shots of straight Vodka and 2 blunts. Every day you prayed for this man's liver and brain function; with how much he drank and smoke, you would think he needed it to function.
"Oh! Oh! Bitttch. Did I tell you about that football player, I fucckked last week!" Jimin started slurring on certain words. You noticed his eyes were glossy and glazed over.
"No, you didn't, Chim." You sighed, completely giving up trying to watch the movie. You would have to watch it on your alone time.
"Reeaally?" Jimin slurred, a goofy grin uplifting his lips.
"Yes, really. You haven't told me." Amusement lightly coated your voice.
"Welll, his name is T-tae, Tae-tae something. Hold on, it's coming to me." Jimin said, rubbing the sides of his temples, trying to remember the guys' name.
"Taehyung! That's it!" Jimin shrieked, snapping his fingers in victory.
You looked at him startled. You remember Taehyung from high school. You didn't recall him being at this college, though. Well, it wasn't like you paid attention to many things outside your bubble anyway.
"Wasn't he homophobic as fuck in high school?" You asked, genuinely interested.
"Yeah, he was. Buttt I guess he was trying to cover up, that he was actually on the DL." Jimin smiled, whispering the last part.
"DL? What's that mean?" You inquired
Jimin looked at you with a look of betrayal. "It means he's on the down-low, meaning he didn't want anyone to know he's gay. Girrl, I'm too crossfaded to be explaining this to you."
You chuckled, " My bad, Chim. So was it good?"
"Fuck, no! Dick was straight trash. The only thing that saved him a little was that his dick was huge." Jimin said, wiping away a pretend tear from the corner of his eye.
You laughed boisterously at that. If Jimin wasn't so adamant about becoming a professional dancer. He could seriously take up a career in comedy.
"Speaking of dick. When are you gonna get some?" Jimin asked, turning his body to face you completely. As you looked at him, you noticed his eyes seemed a bit clearer, and his face wasn't as red as earlier. Not only did Jimin drink like a fish and smoke like a chimney. He was somehow able to sober just as fast.
"Oh my god, Jimin. Please don't sta-"
"Mmm, no missy," Jimin said, wagging his finger in your face.
"Don't you hear it?" He said, cupping his hand around his ear as if he was straining to hear something.
"Hear what?" You replied, rolling your eyes and crossing your arms against your chest.
"The cobwebs and tumbleweed living in your cunt."
"Jimin!" You shrieked, slapping the arm closest to you.
"Don't Jimin me! You know it's true, I swear you're gonna be a 40-year-old virgin, and by the time you finally make the decision to have sex, it'll be too late!" Jimin yelled, stumbling to stand up from the couch.
"First off, ouch. I won't be a 40-year-old virgin. That's very insulting. Second, I do plan to lose it soon. I just haven't found the time or the right guy." You said, looking down at your feet shyly. You did want to lose your virginity, but with being an introvert with a mix of social anxiety and just a dash of seasonal depression for added flavor. It was hard even to get out of bed sometimes. Much less going out and trying to find someone to do the do with.
"Oh! Well, if that's all, then I got you covered, babe. Time? Next week Friday at Jihyo's dorm. As for the right guy, I know a dude. He has like a kink for that kind of thing." Jimin answered nonchalantly, now scrolling through his phone, probably on his social media page.
You looked at Jimin, head tilted to the side, confused. "What kind of thing?"
"Oh, you know fucking virgins and shit. Popping their cherries." He said, popping his "P's."
You sputtered, exasperated. What the fuck. You didn't kink shame, that was for losers, but he can't seriously expect you to do something like that.
"What the actual fuck. Jimin, are you serious?"
"Deadly." He said, looking you square in your eyes. His tone of voice haven dropped an octave lower.
"Jimin no. I-i can't."
"Jimin, yes! Err, I mean _____ yes, you can! Come on, it's a once in a lifetime experience. Plus, it's not like he's a total stranger. I've known him since he was 8 years old. I use to babysit the little shit head." Jimin said, waving his hand in the air, trying to swat away a rogue fly.
"Wow, Chim. You know, now that you put it like it makes me feel a lot better about the situation." You said tone dripped in sarcasm
"Really?" Jimin squealed, a delighted twinkling in his eye.
"Of course not! Don't be stupid!" Offended, you gawked at Jimin. You swear sometimes he could be so dimwitted.
"Come on, please? At least meet him, and if the vibe is not right, then you can leave no harm done." Jimin pleaded, his attention back on you. Was it crazy that you were actually thinking about agreeing to this? Jimin did have a point. It was sort of a once in a lifetime opportunity. He did know the guy, and if you didn't like the vibe, then you could just bounce, right? Right?
Sighing in defeat, your hands dragged down your face and turned towards a pouting Jimin. Grabbing at his deflated shoulders, you shook her lightly, and with urgency in your voice, you spoke, "Alright goddammit! I'll do it, but you have to stay by my side the whole time, no running off, you understand!"
You watched Jimin's face quirk into a sly smirk. You swore you could see the cogs in his brain churning. Damn, you were going to regret this. You had the tendency to make deals when pressured. Most of the time, those agreements ended up backfiring on you, confining you in the proverbial rock and a hard place.
"Yay! Operation: Pop _____ Cherry has commenced. Okay, so will meet at the auditorium on the art campus. From there we will walk to Jihyo's dorm, it's only five minutes. Promise me you'll actually show up and won't flake on me." A complacent expression rested arrogantly on Jimin's features, a single pinky finger extended towards you.
"Don't give this situation a not-so-secret code name. And I can't believe I'm saying this but, I promise." You agreed, interlocking pinky fingers, yours thumbs coming up to press against one another.
"So I'll meet you at the location Friday, don't be late, and wear something sexy. No granny clothes." he chirped, making his way to your front door.
"Wait! You're leaving already?" you frowned, looking at the clock on your wall. He's only been here for an hour, and 30 mins of it were spent persuading you to hurry up and lose your virginity. You didn't even get to finish the movie together.
"Sorry babe, but I have a dick appointment." he shrugged, putting his arms through the sleeves of his jacket.
"Can you at least tell me the name of the guy who's supposed to fuck me?" you huffed, honestly you were done for tonight. As soon as Jimin left, you were heading straight for bed.
"Oh yeah, how could I forget." Jimin slaps the center of his forehead. "He's a real cutie. I would fuck him if he wasn't as straight as an arrow." Jimin looks off to a far wall, eyeing it with jealousy.
"Just tell me his name, please." You pleaded. Oh yeah, that's definitely a headache forming. You could feel it already. Jimin snaps out of his daydreaming and spins his body towards you.
"Jungkook."
Time skip to a week later, and precisely as you suspected, what a mistake that whole conversation was. Now here you were at this fucking dorm party with people you didn't know or care to get to know. Jimin had left you as soon as he saw his next piece of ass. Restlessly you hauled down the short black dress that insisted on riding up your ass, the soles of your feet protesting in the slim heeled shoes. Floundering your way into the packed building, you couldn't help but query where Jungkook was. Jimin was supposed to get around to send you a picture of the mystery man, but that never happened. Funny how now was the best time you decided to question why exactly Jimin was your best friend.
"Well damn, the pictures Jimin sent me doesn't do you justice at all. You're fucking hot." You recoiled from the closeness of the voice, the heated breath sending chills skittering down your spine, and the hairs on the back of your neck ramrod straight. Heat spurred to your face when you whisked around to meet an absolutely gorgeous guy. Like unfairly gorgeous guy. You stared wide-eyed, taking in his chiseled facial features, paired with wide doe eyes and bunny smile decorating his face. Somehow, someway he's mastered looked soft and sexy at the same damn time. And fuck was that a dangerous combination for your pussy. Your heart too, but more so your cunt.
"U-uh, thanks? Who are you exactly?" You watch as he recoils back from your with a look of apprehension on his face.
"A-are you not ____?" he stutters cutely. You think you can see the beginnings of a blush burning his cheeks. You nod your head once to confirm his question. He stared at you a minute longer before you see the recognition spark in his chocolate orbs.
"Jimin didn't send you my picture did he?" Shaking his head with his eyes close, you get the courage the scan his face a bit more. Yeah. He's definitely blushing.
"Sorry. I guess seeing you here, I thought Jimin would have...prepared you better." Shaking your head from side to side because your words refused to come out. You watched as he backed up a bit further from your personal space and thrust his right hand out to you.
"The name's Jungkook, or J.K. Whatever suits your taste."
With clammy hands, you taking his outstretched hand marveled at how it almost covers your hand. Now that he's moved back from you, you now had to chance to see how tall he really was. Maybe about 6 to 7 inches taller. You look down at his feet and eye his combat boot, perhaps a little shorter but still taller. And big, yeah, definitely bigger. His oversized black jacket did little to hide the broadness of his shoulders and chest. You let your eyes travel down the length of his body. You bet he's hiding some killer abs under his shirt. And holy fuck, his thighs.
"You like what you see, baby girl?" Teasing, he's teasing but God, if his voice didn't make you pussy throbbing pathetically. Whimpering slightly, you let out a meek "Yes." God, you hope he didn't hear that.
Much to your dismay, he did, hear you. How he heard you with the music as loud as it was, was a mystery to you. But you watched his pupils dilate, and his nostrils flare slightly. Jungkook tucks his bottom lip between his teeth as his eyes rake up and down your scantily clad body. His heated stare scrutinized across your body, intrigue exerting over him, as he analyzed the way the snug-fitting dress molded to the curves of your shape. He could tell you didn't do this often. His dick twitched in his jeans with enthusiasm.
It's the increase in pressure of your hand that makes you realize you're still holding his hand. You go to retract your hand from his. However, yelp shrilly as he tugs you closer to his body. Both hands now resting on his chest, and his wrapped around your waist. Fuck, you could feel the warmth and coarseness of his hands through your thin dress. A spontaneous tremor racked your body. The heat-transmitting from his frame mixed with the floral yet musky undertone of his cologne made you somewhat featherbrained.
"Fuck, you're so soft." You squeak as he squeezes your waistline, pulling you even closer against his body. You were now putty in his hands.
"Jimin told you my....preferences, right?" his voice caressed your ear. Just a slight movement or subtle twitch, and his lips would be on your skin.
"Y-yeah, he did." It should be an embarrassment how frail and breathless you sounded, but that didn't matter.
Jungkook hid his smile behind your ear. This was just too easy. Just how he liked it. He almost felt bad- almost. He was gonna ruin you utterly and completely, mold the shape of cock in the walls of your pussy. His name spilling from your lips, voice going hoarse by how loud he would make you scream. Fuck he couldn't wait. He's had virgin's before, a lot of them. That's his whole M.O. The cherry popper, virgin fucker, whatever. Jungkook's heard all the names in the book. But there's just something about you, you just had an air of genuine innocence, and he couldn't wait to defile it.
Jungkook pulls his head back, enough to where his eyes can trail over the bared skin of your neck, and the sprinkling of perspiration sparkling off the bright strobing lights, no doubt from nervousness. His tongue traced over his thin upper lip, watching the droplets of sweat spiral down the curve of your neck. He wanted to taste you.
"Alright, then." He jerks his body away from you. You're no longer touching his chest, but his hands are still on your waist.
"Let's enjoy the party before the fun really begins. Every done body shots before?" Jungkook spoke casually, undeterred by the way you recoiled back or the look of stupor on your face.
"W-what? B-body shots, why?" you squeaked, failing to keep from stuttering over your words. Is this how it's supposed to go? Is this normal? You're bewildered, and just a bit perturbed. Were you just imagining that sexual tension that was going on just moments ago? For sure, you thought Jungkook was gonna throw you over his shoulders and haul you off to the nearest unoccupied bedroom or bathroom. At that instant, you didn't care.
Jungkook regarded the war of emotions wage across your features, merriment and strobing lights twinkling in his eyes. Fuck, you were cute, so desperate staring up at him with a pout on your face a puppy dog eyes. He could honestly just take you back to the closest room and fuck the shit out of you. But he wanted to play with his prey, a bit more. The wait made it that much more satisfying.
"Don't pout too much, baby girl or I may not be able to contain myself. Follow me. The table is this way."
Jungkook didn't indulge in answering any of your questions you rambled off at him, delighted to see you trailing on his heels like a lost pup. Jungkook directed you further into the dorm, and like a dog on a leash, you followed. In the center of a sparse room sat a scraped up black table. You observed the area. It was devoid of many people. The several that were present made no recognition of your proximity in their intoxicated state.
"So who's first?" Jungkook asked, setting the bottle of tequila, rim salt, and limes down on the table.
"U-uh, I don't know. I guess it doesn't matter." You shrugged hesitantly. You were way out of your element here.
"Perfect then, you first." Jungkook should be ashamed by how excited he was at getting to sample your skin. It looked smooth, felt soft when he had you in his arms, and would no doubt probably taste as sweet as it seemed. You nodded in docility, wandering over to crawl on top of the table, being attentive to your dress. You lay flattened against the table, shiverings racking your body as he began pouring a trail of salt between your cleavage.
He poured himself a shot in the depression of your throat and tore the lime in half with his bare hands. Smirking at how you flinched when he thumped the liquor bottle down beside your head. Jungkook pushed the other half of the unevenly split lime towards your lips, a silent gesture to take the lime in your mouth. Jungkook watched as your lips curled gently around the hull of the green citrus. A flare of lust stirred in his loins at the action. He couldn't wait to see your lips stretched around the head of his cock. He observed your eyes clamped closed as he began dropping his head forward to your chest. It was adorable and innocent. He noted the way your lips slackened around the citrus in your mouth, your chest heaving in speed, the closer his tongue trailed to your neck.
You tasted splendid, just as sweet as he thought. The salt on your skin did nothing to deter your natural flavor. If anything, it enhanced your sweetness, rendering your skin damn near mouth-watering. Jungkook's ears perked at the breathless moans slipping past the fruit perched against your lips, drawn out by the repeated pass of the wet, pink appendage lapping at the salt line between the valley of your breast. Committing your muffled moans to memory, he lapped persistently at the collection of salt and tequila in the hollow at the base of your neck.
You face flammed in embarrassment as panting moans effortlessly tumbled from your mouth. Who knew your chest and neck was such an erogenous spot. Despite your shame, you couldn't stop wriggling, shifting your thighs together for some form of friction to sate the rising arousal dampening your panties. You yelped at the sensation of blunt teeth nibbling at your skin before soft lips came to suck at the shallow indentations. Fluffy hair with an undercut came into your line of vision as Jungkook lifted his head up to your lips. Your heart stammered tortuously against your ribs, flirtatious eyes stared lidded with searing lust, his head advanced closer to your lips. Your eyes fluttered closed, lips puckering against the bitter hull of the lime.
Jungkook closed the distance, slanting his mouth over the lime, blocking his contact with yours. He sucked against the sour fruit, acidity puckering his lips, residual tartness flowing to your cracked lips. Jungkook withdrew from your mouth, taking the drained lime hull with it. Your saccharine moans were heaven to his ears. It had awoken something inside him, fueled his fire in knowing that possibly no one had ever heard such a sweet sound. He wanted more, craved more.
"Have you ever been kissed before, sweetheart?" Your eyes followed the movement of his tongue, poking out to moistening his lips.
"Yeah, once in like 3rd grade." Who hasn't snuck behind a tree or hid underneath the dark coverings of playground equipment to lock lips with a childhood crush?
He grinned salaciously, body moving to rest between your spread legs. Oh, now he was really excited. Your lips were practically untouched. Just another part of your body to claim first. You jumped when palms pressed flat against the revealed skin of your thigh. Gently, Jungkook rubbed lazy circles on your skin, never lowering or furthering than the hem of your dress. He felt you wiggle beneath his hands, observed your eyes, glimpsing―darting about, should you concentrate on his face, or his hand, uncertainty was etched on your face.
"Amazing." He groaned, eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks, before grinning again. His face inched closer to yours, his lips but a breath apart, warmth flickered against your lips as he talked, level and smooth. " Well, how about I become your second?
And then his lips were on you, the soft muscle mangled itself to your lips, tentative and sluggish to give you a chance to register his mouth slanted upon yours. Jungkook chuckled against your lips at your unresponsiveness. He guesses you were a little shell shocked. It only takes a few more stagnant seconds before you're shyly reciprocating his kiss. Delicate, shaky movements highlighted your inexperience. Increasingly, Jungkook increased the pressure behind lips, his hands spreading to enclose around your waist, dragging you closer against him. One of Jungkook's hands removed from your waist to bury itself in your hair, gently his fingernails scratched against your scalp, an airy moan was his reward.
Hands completely abandoning your midsection, one gripped the meat of your thigh, pulling you to the edge of the table, flush against the tent of his denim jean encased manhood, the other embedded in your strands pulled sharply on your roots, a loud gasp tearing from you. Jungkook took that opportunity to advance his tongue into your gaped mouth. His tongue wrapped itself around yours, briefly wrestling for dominance before easily pinning your tongue in submission. His hips ground against yours, the heat of your covered core teased him through his jeans.
He thoroughly explored your mouth, swallowing the now copious cries leaving your mouth. Reluctantly, Jungkook tore himself from your kiss-swollen lips. The ravished looked suited you perfectly. You looked beautiful, thighs brazenly spread, eyes glazed over in lust, your sticky chest heaving from the length of the shared kiss. Even in the dim lights, he could make out the taunt pebbling of your nipples.
Your mouth gaped wide, flapping about like a fish out of water, trying despairingly to draw air into your lungs. Your first kiss definitely didn't compare to this much. Your wide eyes flicked between Jungkook and the floor, your bottom lip tucked firmly between your teeth, feeling shy as he just stares at you. Releasing your teeth from your lips, you timidly touched your mouth, admiring how plump they've gotten from the intense liplock.
Wordlessly Jungkook hitched you over his shoulder, winded with a grunt as his defined shoulder blades dug into your stomach and what sounded like a growled vibrate up into you. You squirmed lightly in his hold, scared he was going to drop you, and secondly, your panty-clad ass on display for the party-goers, not that anyone was looking.
You watched the continuous panels of hardwood floor move beneath you as Jungkook carried you to an unknown destination. You couldn't believe you were really doing this. Were you actually going to have sex with a complete stranger? Someone who was known for explicitly fucking virgins. Realistically, you should be ashamed, yet, you conceded full control to him without a second thought. What did that say about you? About your character? Would you now be labeled as 'easy' or a 'hoe' after all this was done? What was going to happen between you and Jungkook?
The flick of a switch stirred from your thoughts. You shield your eyes with your hand at the bright lights pouring into the room, or rather a bathroom. Jungkook loved the confusion marring your features. He wouldn't fuck you in his bedroom just yet. That was a privilege you would have to earn, no matter how intrigued he had become with you. There's always humiliation to be had in the corruption of innocence, and fucking you in the bathroom was a good start. He planned on making you watch him as he destroyed your body, popping your cherry, stretching your tight virginal hole to accommodate his length, and claimed it as his own. Jungkook shuddered at the thought, his possessive nature taking a turn for the worst.
Impatiently Jungkook sat you on top of the bathroom sink counter, his lips smashed against yours, the previous tenderness was gone, vanished into a puff of smoke. Teeth banged, and tongues flailed recklessly against each other in the heat of passion, with you struggling to keep up with the demands of his dominating kiss. Thick fingers trailed beneath the hem of your dress, tickling the expanse of your thighs. Jungkook wasted no time in shifting your slick soaked panties to the side, a warm digit gliding effortlessly through your damn folds.
"Fuck, you're already so wet. You're enjoying this a little too much, baby girl." Jungkook growled, panting against your lips. His finger breached your sex, you tensed deftly around the foreigner intrusion, stretching your weeping walls.
"Ah, Jungkook." You cried listlessly, rocking your hips against his stilled finger. He felt so good inside you, and it was just his finger. Maybe this experience wouldn't be as bad as you heard. Now you couldn't wait to see what his cock felt like embedded deep within your pussy. Jungkook pumped slowly, eventually introducing a second finger to help loosen you up more. You were gonna be a tight fit, very tight, but that just made it even better. You hissed at the slight burn as he began scissoring his fingers apart with each withdrawal. Your hands wrapped around his neck as you buried your head against his broad chest, your mellifluous moans suppressed by the fabric of his shirt.
"G-go faster, please." You begged, your body adjusting and quickly becoming frustrated by the snail's pace his fingers were pumping. You bucked your hips against his hands, hoping he would ease the growing discomfort boiling in your stomach.
"Have you ever had an orgasm before, babe?" You nodded eagerly at his question, whining as you bucked against his hand again.
"Oh, really? Who gave it to you." Slow, he was going too slow you wanted, no you needed more friction, more stimulation from him.
"M-me. I-i did." Jungkook loved how you stuttered, it stroked his ego and filled him with arrogance to know it was him, and only that was capable of making you stumble over your words.
"Mmm, and how did you do it? Did you rub this little clit of yours raw?" You cried louder when his thumb flicked at your clit, the stimulation further drawing the appendage from its hood.
"Or did you fuck this tight hole, with these tiny fingers of yours?" At those words, a loud, choked moan, even muffled by your face in his chest, echoed throughout the white bathroom. Jungkook had gone deeper inside, almost to the third knuckle. Another moan left your lips as he twisted his fingers inside you, his palm now facing upwards.
"Though you and I bought know they couldn't possibly reach deep enough to touch the spot you really want." It's euphoric, no better yet orgasmic, the sheer shock of electric pleasure that zaps through your body when he finds the spongy bundle of nerves. Your body jerked heavily, legs go to snap close, only to be stopped by his broad body between your thighs.
He chuckles softly, stroking your thigh with his other hand. Jungkook shifts his head down, bringing his mouth closer to your ear. He exhales quietly, warm air tinged with tequila and lime caresses the light hairs on you around your ear. " I found it, huh?"
You whimper, rubbing your head up and down against his chest.
"You want me to speed up the pace, sweetheart?" Jungkook's voice is delicate now, so gentle. But you're confused, overwhelmed, and scared. It's never felt like this when you did it yourself. Your not sure if you could handle the feeling, so you don't provide an answer to Jungkook's question.
"Don't ignore me ____, that's not nice manners. I'll ask again." You clench around his fingers as Jungkook inches just a bit deeper.
"Do you. Want me. To go faster?" With each pause, he arches his fingers in a 'come here' motion, pressing deeply against your bundle of nerves, the sensation of having to pee accompanied with each thrust.
"Y-yes, faster, more. Pl-lease." Fuck, you sounded so pretty begging for him if he wasn't addicted before. You had him sprung now. Jungkook buried his face in the crook of your neck, the sharp smell of tequila and salt still lingering on your skin. He sucked at the junction where your shoulder and neck met. You bucked harder against his fingers, your juices now dripping to coat his palm is sticky cream.
"If you wanted more. Why didn't you just ask?" Jungkook said deviously. Confused, you felt withdraw his sticky digits, walls gripping to stop their departure. Without warning, Jungkook flipped you over onto the counter, your knees buckled at the sudden change in position. Your faced burning at your displayed state, droplets of your essence dribbled from your pussy, slicking up your inner thighs. You yelped as Jungkook grasped at the length of your hair, pulling back pointedly, your neck craned back to observe him addressing you in the mirror.
"You've been wondrous for me ____. Such a sweet girl." He expressed, his empty hand disappearing behind your perked ass to fiddle with the groin of his pants.
"Truly, you have. Your response and reactions to my touch have really gotten me riled up. It's been a while since I've tittered on the edge of losing control." You wheezed, starting to panic as you felt the thick head of his cock slap teasingly against your slicked throbbing hole. Oh, God, he's huge. Jungkook's cock might just tear you apart. You shifted your hips forward, pressing against the cold marble of the bathroom counters door.
"I-i don't think, I can t-take it Jungkook, you're too b-big. It's my first-time, r-remember?” Your stuttering worse now, but you're scared.
Jungkook pulls your hips back with the hand the was grasping his length, the side of your hip now coated in his pre-cum. His hand lays flat in the crease of your back, forcing you into a perfect arch.
"You can take it, all of it. And don't worry, of course, I remembered your fragility. I'll go slow, I promise." You plead silently with your eye contact through the mirror.
"You ready?" You nod once an advert your eyes down to the sink.
Your mouth shakily falls agape as he slowly began pushing the head of his cock into you. It burns, but not as bad as you had anticipated. You take the chance to look back up into the mirror, adamant about giving Jungkook a thankful smile for his gentleness. That vision that greets looks like it jumped right off the page of your favorite erotic story.
Jungkook's got his head thrown back, the edge of his t-shirt clenched tightly between his teeth, your eyes trail the drip of sweat that follows the curve of his jawline. You have a clear view of his abs all the way down to the v-cut of his hip, to the happy trail that leads to a neatly trimmed bush of pubic hair. You clench tightly around him, efficiently aroused by the view. You feel his cock throbbed heavily inside you, even getting bigger if possible.
"You like that, sweet girl? You like seeing me struggling to contain myself because you're so tightly around me. This little pussy trying to milk me for all I can give you." You love it. You feel powerful in a way. Do you really feel that good around him?
"Yes." Jungkook draws out the 'S.'
"You feel amazing, so warm and wet. I wished you could see how coated in white you've got me, and I'm not even all the way in yet."
You scream soundless as he bucks into you, shoving in half of his length. It doesn't hurt anymore. You just feel stuffed full. Lifting a trembling hand, you take the chance a feel the lower part. You noticed swelling that wasn't there before, intrigued; you push down against it, moaning in shock you realize it's Jungkook's cock.
"Yeah, baby girl, that's all me, well, most of me. You ready to take the rest?"
"Yes! Please!" That's the clearest you've been all night. You don't get an answer as Jungkook immediately picks up his pacing, thrusting into you faster. He wastes no time pumping deeply into your tight pussy, his tip smashing against the entrance to your cervix as you pant and grit your teeth in slight discomfort, overshadowed by pleasure. The burning sensation is back as he fucks in deeper with each brutal and swift stroke. But you don't care cause it still feels amazing. You can hear yourself, sloppy and soaking wet, echoing throughout the bathroom. You're drooling down his pistoning cock. You can feel it dripping down your inner thighs. Your head jerks violently against your shoulders, to weak support your head from his menacing thrust.
Tightened vocal cords released strained shrieks of praise; from your mouth, drool dripping from your lips, into the sticky cleavage of your breast, and sweat coated your skin. The coil in your stomach was quickly tightening, never had you felt anything so deep inside you. If you ever had sex with anyone else, they would never compare to Jungkook. You were fucked both figuratively and literally.
Jungkook pulled you further from off the sink, the new position allowing him even deeper. You clawed at the marble tops underneath your fingers, your eyes rolling in the back of your head. That sensation of having to pee is back again.
"J-K, I-m. I have to-," You don't get to finish as the band in your stomach snapped. Silently you announced your release; if it wasn't for the new wave of cum coating his cock, or the fluttering tightness of your walls, Jungkook might have missed your orgasm. He wasn't far behind you. The constant clenching of your ridged walls around his cock, had him reaching his limit sooner than he would like. Jungkook had half a mind to pull out but decided to gamble his odds. You're the first person he's fucked raw in a while, and with three deep thrusts later, he was shooting his hot seed right against your cervix.
Breathing heavily, Jungkook lets you fall against the sink, observing as you crumpled against the sink countertop. Pride swelled his chest as he watched his seed bubble out of your well-used hole. He's never contemplated going farther with the virgins he fucked. He wouldn't make any hasty decisions now though there were still a lot of things he wanted to do with you. He would sleep on it and revisit the idea in the morning.
"So would you say, Operation: Pop Your Cherry was a success?"
You giggled, winded, still having difficulty catching your breath. You straighten up against the bathroom counter, the majority of your weight still resting on the object as you had yet to regain the feeling in your legs.
"Jimin and his stupid code names. I swear when I get a hold ass, he's dead." You warned already preparing your revenge on your best friend. You stare at Jungkook in the eyes through the mirror, smile a bit goofy, you say.
"Operation: Pop My Cherry. Mission complete."
#bts smut#jungkook smut#jungkook#bts oneshot#bts smut reactions#bts#park jimin#kim taehyung#jeon jungkook#bts college au#jungkook college au#bts fanfction#bts fanfic#ao3#jungkook x reader
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Positive
Hello, I asked how everyone would feel if I did a prequel to O&O. I got a lot of yes’ and screaming so I decided it was best to do it. I have been thinking about this ever since chapter 17 of Olive and Otto. So here it is! If you have any questions about characters just send me an ask and I will gladly answer! (Also I just get so happy when people want to talk to me)
Leo and his family belong to @lumosinlove <3
Thank you to: @walking-crisis, @clearsuitcasecookienerd, @blingywitch, @waltzintherain, and @moonofthenight, @onlydreamofmysoul (If I missed anyone who answered my asks please let me know! I know some haven’t answered yet but I am hoping they will)
TW/CW: High school bullies, Coming out to homophobic family, Slurs, Homophonic languages and attitudes, mentions of sex, and pregnancy, teen pregnancy, probably food and drink. Oh! And cigarettes and underage drinking.
Chapter 1
The Night Of
Halloween 2015
“We are never doing that again!” Indigo was laying in her bed next to Leo breathing hard. They just had sex… for the first time ever!. It was horrible and sticky and she never imagined doing that with Leo. They both thought it was a good idea especially because it was Halloween, they were at a house party that one of their cheer friends had put on.
“Agreed” Leo sighed next to her and put his hands on his face. Both here silent for a couple of minutes until they suddenly turned to face one another at the same time and blurted out.
“I’M GAY!” Both slapped a hand over their mouths and just stared at the other like they had a fish strapped to their head….
“What?!” they both said at the same time again. Indigo slapped his shoulder hard causing him to wince, she sat up and hugged her knees resting her forehead on them. Oh god, both of them were just playing the part of the perfect partner when neither really wanted each other like that.
Leo had gotten up to toss the condom they had used, because neither of them wanted to have kids especially that young, he slashed some water against his face and rubbed it down the back of his neck. Resting his hands on his shoulders he looked into the mirror, he saw an idiot, his shaggy blonde curls that he didn’t know how to control, the bags under his eyes from constantly being at practice. Cheer or Hockey, Gymnastic or Band it didn’t matter. With all his school work he had no idea how he hasn’t slept less than he has. Maybe he should stop taking naps during study hall.
He was lanky but trying to build up his muscles, the cigarettes weren’t helping, yeah they suppressed his appetite like his cheer coach told Indigo, but it wasn’t what he needed to be able to bulk up. He sighs and grabs his boxers from the floor and slips them on as he sits next to Indigo. Yes, he was gay, he had known he was different since he was thirteen. He dated Indigo to prove that he could love a woman and he does love her, but not in that way. He wraps an arm around her and holds her close. Rubbing her side as he hears some sniffles.
“Was that the first time you ever said it out loud?” He feels her nod and kisses the top of her head. He first said it to his mirror about a year ago, he was going to tell Indigo but never got around to it because he really thought he loved her romantically, but tonight proved it wasn’t that. “ It’s gonna be okay, I won’t let anything happen to you. I swear on my life.”
“Leo, you don’t understand! M-My parents, they will kill me! They would kill me if they found out we just had sex, and that straight! Oh god, I’m gonna get murdered or sent to conversion camp like they almost did Peri because he dyed his hair pink last week.” She cries harder when she remembers her baby brother being screamed at because his good friend dyed a pink streak in his hair. They called him a Faggot and a Tranny and just horrible horrible names that didn’t even fit him. Peri was straight and cis, so they just threw these horrible insults at him for no reason. He was the oldest out of her six brothers, a year younger than her. Being the oldest of the family and the only girl there is so much pressure to be perfect. She is trying so hard but she can’t help but find her captain good-looking and sweet and she makes her heart flutter in a way Leo never could.
The family tree of the Khalid’s is one that everyone in town shoves their noses into. Indigo’s mother, Valentina, is from Argentina and immigrated to the USA at the same time as her father, Francisco, who is from Mexico. Since they were the immigrants on the block everyone already thought low of them or so their parents thought. So, if the kids did anything not by the parents standards, they were in huge trouble. The family was also highly religious, very Catholics Christians. But they pushed it to an insane level, a debilitating level. Indigo remembers getting a ruler across her hands because she said “OMG” when she was in third grade.
Indigo has six younger brothers, everyone is named after an odd color. Her parents thought they were being creative. There is Indigo the oldest. Peri (short for Periwinkle) the second child is only a year younger than her. Viridian is the third child of the clan and the most rebellious three years younger than Indigo. Vermillion and Crimson, the twins of the family, four years younger than her and the most mischievous little shits. Aurelian is the second youngest and the sweetest little child you will ever meet, he is six years younger than Indigo and her favorite sibling. Gent (short for Magenta) is the baby of the family, 7 years younger than Indigo and the biggest little brat you will ever meet.
Leo doesn’t have siblings or crazy strict parents, he just doesn’t understand that and sometimes Indigo gets angry with him for not understanding. He is always so positive and it really gets on her nerves sometimes.
She leans into him and cries into his bare shoulder, they were both still sweaty from their earlier activities, she didn’t care though. She finally admitted out loud that she was gay, not only to herself but to her best friend.
“Are- *hiccup* Are we gonna break up?” She looks up at him and he sends her the most soft and understanding smile she has ever seen. He always knows what to say, how to hold her, how to treat her, how to calm her down. Whoever he got with would be so lucky.
“Do you want to? I mean, there is such a thing as a beard.”
“Leo, you can’t grow a beard.”
He laughs, “No!” He flicks her forehead making her laugh a little. “I mean a queer beard, its when people act like they are dating so people don’t ask questions about their sexuality. We could do that.”
“Like a double beard.” She smiles at him a little, still sniffling. Wiping her eyes, spreading her makeup all around her face she groans. “Can we take a shower?” He nods and stands up quickly making her fall off the bed. He laughs and runs to the bathroom before she can throw something at him. She hears the water running and smiles a little.
She has the best, best friend. She slowly stands, flinching a little at the slight tightness in her hips, annoyed she walks into the, now steamy, bathroom and slaps Leo’s ass really hard.
He yelps and looks back at her, glaring he rubs his butt, knowing he probably deserved it. They step under the hot stream of water together and sigh. He grabs some shampoo and washes his hair, then hers. Scratching her scalp in a way that he knows she loves.
“Do you think people will figure us out?”
“If you ever want to come out just let me know and I will be there for you 100%”
“That’s not what I asked.”
“But I know what you meant.”
They finished up the shower and were both yawning by the time they finished brushing their teeth. Leo in his boxers and Indigo in her sweatshirt and sweatpants, they curled up in bed together. Her head on his chest as they drifted off. They knew this night had an impact on them, but they never would have guessed how much of an impact.
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One Shot: Stupid Love
Requested by anon: “Can u do a short little thingy set when Tyler & Jamie were still playing and Jamie takes a really dirty hit while Tyler is on the bench just watching? Like Jamie is too injured to retaliate so Jordie and a few others come to his defense but maybe tell the story from Tyler's pov because he can hear the other player yelling homophobic slurs at Jamie while he's down? Bonus points if said player looks right at Tyler while insulting Jamie cause he "knows" about the 2 of them?”
Author’s Note: While I did use some factual information, the dialogue is completely fabricated by yours truly to fit the prompt. Please remember that and do not hold grudges against players who seemed cruel in this one shot. Someone had to be the bad guy, and this was just how it played out in my head. Also, big thank you to my good friend who improved the ish out of my grammar before I posted this, because it needed some serious work. Sorry it’s been a year to date since I wrote my last one shot. Life, man, it’s cray. Enjoy!
~~~~~
Jamie heard a quick rap of knuckles on his hotel room door. It startled him, as he wasn’t expecting anyone, but by the rhythm of the knock, he already knew who was on the other side of it.
“Hey, Mom, I gotta go. I’ll talk to you soon. Okay, love you, too. Bye.” Jamie tapped his phone screen with his thumb to end the call before lightly jogging to the door. He checked through the peephole just to confirm the identity of his visitor. He was, in fact, correct but frowned slightly by the disheveled appearance of his friend who was normally beaming at all times.
When Jamie opened the door, however, he received a completely different expression, as Tyler was giving Jamie his infamous smirk now.
“Hey, Segs?” He didn’t mean for it to come out like it was a question.
“Whatcha doing?” Tyler asked while brushing past Jamie to enter the room.
“Sure, come on in,” Jamie teased and rolled his eyes while letting the door shut on its own. “Just got off the phone with my mom.” By the time Jamie turned around to face Tyler, he was already cozied up in Jamie’s bed.
“Wow, you’re having a crazy night,” Tyler smirked, scrolling through his phone with his feet crossed at the foot of Jamie’s bed. Jamie observed Tyler closely. Even though he was still standing by the door, he could see that Tyler’s cheeks were flushed and his skin was paler than usual.
“She always calls to make sure the flight went smoothly. We never travelled much growing up. Didn’t need to really. So she gets nervous now that I fly all the time,” Jamie explained. His cheeks heated in embarrassment immediately after his ramble because Tyler didn’t acknowledge him. He likely thought Jamie was lame, or weird. Probably both, actually.
“But, the night is still young. Want to go somewhere?” Jamie asked in a hopeful voice, feeling the need to redeem himself.
“No, actually I, uh…kinda wanted to hang out here with you… if that’s okay?” Tyler asked shyly. Jamie had never seen Tyler like this before, and he wasn’t quite sure what to do.
“Oh, um, sure,” Jamie hummed, unable to keep the surprised tone out of his voice.
Tyler sighed and shook his head. “Sorry, this is… stupid. I can go. I’m sure you want your alone time. I didn’t mean to interrupt.” Tyler sat up straight, swinging his legs over the side of the bed to push himself up. But before he could finish standing up, Jamie was over at his side with a hand on his bicep to stop him.
“Hey, no. I want you… to hang out. I just thought you were… never mind.” Jamie mentally kicked himself for not being able to formulate a sentence like a normal person, so he thought it would be best to stick with simplicity. “Sit,” he hummed and gently guided Tyler back down onto his bed.
“You sure?” Tyler asked, looking up at Jamie through his eyelashes. He looked like a kicked puppy that was hesitant to trust again. It took everything Jamie had not to wrap Tyler in a big hug to make it better, whatever it was.
It was hard for Jamie to explain his feelings for Tyler. Jamie’s never liked another guy before, but he’s also never had a girlfriend. He just figured he hadn’t met the right girl yet. But when Jamie had met Tyler, he’d started questioning things. He would never admit that to another soul, not even his brother, Jordie. It was just… Tyler was like a beam of light to Jamie. Whenever Jamie saw him, he suddenly felt so warm inside, and when Tyler smiled, Jamie swore he’d never seen anything so radiant in his entire life. He loved every minute they spent together, especially those accidentally-on-purpose moments where their arms or legs brushed against one another on the couch. Jamie lived for that, for all of that, and he loved it so much.
“Of course.” Jamie sat down next to him. They sat there in silence for what seemed like hours, staring at the muted TV with their elbows pressed up against one another. The Pens-Flyers game was on, but neither of them were really watching it. Jamie could see Tyler playing with the hem of his shirt out of the corner of his eye. Seeing Tyler in the dumps was throwing Jamie for a loop. He knew he should say something, anything.
“Hey, Jamie?” Tyler asked, his voice sounded soft and somewhat vulnerable. Jamie was relieved he didn’t have to be the one to break the silence.
“Yeah?”
Tyler stayed silent, so Jamie turned his head to look him in the eyes. Only Tyler’s eyes were cast down towards his lap, eyebrows knitted together.
“Do you think I’m… trouble?”
“What? No. Why would-“
“Do you think I’m worth the hassle?”
“Hey, what are you even saying right now? Where is this coming from?” Jamie asked, quickly realizing that was a dumb question. They were in Boston, and it was the first time Tyler had been back since the trade. Of course Tyler would be distraught. Jamie had thought Tyler would meet up with his old teammates and go to dinner and drinks. He had friends on that team, right? Suddenly, it clicked in Jamie’s head. He couldn’t believe how oblivious and stupid he had been.
“Did someone say something to you?” Jamie asked. His mood was quickly changing from concern to protective. He could feel anger starting to bubble in his chest.
“No. The opposite.” Tyler frowned even deeper. “No one called me, Jamie. Not a single guy asked to hang out tonight. Not even, Marchy. I thought… I don’t know.” Tyler sighed and rubbed his forehead in frustration.
“Maybe, they were told not to?” Jamie tried to be the voice of reason, but he knew the minute it came out of his mouth that it sounded ridiculous and Tyler didn’t buy it. Tyler brought his eyes up to meet Jamie’s. He hated that he could see the pain in them.
“Look, Tyler. Fuck what they think.” Jamie paused when he saw the shocked expression on Tyler’s face. Shit, Jamie even surprised himself with the sudden outburst. He wanted Tyler to know he was being genuine. That he cared. Jamie took a breath to finish what he was going to say in a much softer tone. “It’s their loss.”
“You mean that?” Tyler asked, his voice still quiet, vulnerable.
“Yes.” He was looking into Tyler’s eyes, so Tyler could see the genuineness in them. He figured Tyler would break eye contact when he was satisfied, but they were well past the three-second rule now. Jamie’s stomach started flipping nervously, so he decided to change the mood in the room.
“Now stop pouting.”
“I’m not pouting,” Tyler said, giving Jamie his best mock-offended look.
“You are pouting, but you should be excited,” Jamie stated matter-of-factly.
“And why is that?”
“Because you’re hanging out with me.”
“Oh, is that so?” Tyler chuckled and raised an amused eyebrow.
“Yes, and take your shoes off. If you get my bed dirty, then you’re sleeping in it.” Jamie said before unmuting the TV. He could see Tyler smiling at him out of the corner of his eye. Finally.
~~~~~
Tyler was in his own world, blasting music in his ears through his headphones to drown out the thoughts and nerves he had about stepping onto his former home ice. The whole thing was weird to him, being in the opposing locker room in Boston, but also feeling at home with the people surrounding him despite only knowing them a couple months. He tried desperately to listen to the words of the song, but the harder he tried, the louder his thoughts became. He just wasn’t sure what kind of reception he’d receive from the Bruins fans, coaches, and players, and that was the worst part. He wished it would be one of those feel-good moments with a standing ovation and a tribute video played on the jumbotron for the entirety of the arena to see his accomplishments during his time in Boston. However, he fully expected to be booed every time he stepped foot onto the ice because of the negativity surrounding his departure from the city.
“Fuck it,” Tyler thought to himself. “Who cares what they think?” He and Jamie’s talk last night served as a reminder that he was in fact in a much better place now. He really didn’t know what he would do without Jamie through all of this change and hardship. Jamie had been the first one to greet Tyler when he’d touched down in Dallas after the trade, had never judged him before getting to know him, and had made the new city feel like home quicker than Tyler could have ever imagined. Jamie understood Tyler like nobody else. He was a godsend.
“Shit,” Tyler hissed and yanked his ear buds out. He didn’t even realize he was biting his nails until he bit too far down on his thumb. He sucked on it to relieve himself of the stinging pain, but the taste of iron from the blood quickly became evident on his tongue.
“Hey. You okay?” came a soft voice in the stall next to him. He knew Jamie was keeping a close eye on him since last night. He hadn’t told him about his little episode that had caused him to nervous-puke his brains out, but Jamie was a quiet observer. He figured Jamie knew he had had a rough night before going over to his room, which was probably why he had let Tyler sleep in his bed after passing out in the middle of the movie they’d watched. Tyler had been surprised to find Jamie asleep next to him when he woke up to his alarm the following morning, but they were a good distance apart in the king-sized bed, nothing weird about it. Unless Jamie could read Tyler’s mind and saw just how hard Tyler was crushing on him. Then, that would’ve made the situation much more awkward. But, Jamie didn’t need to know that. Not yet at least.
“Yeah m’fine,” Tyler sighed, wrapping some stick tape around his thumb to stop the bleeding. Jamie probably knew that was a lie, but he was also too nice to prod and call him out on it.
“Just you and me out there, yeah?” Jamie said, giving an encouraging tap to Tyler’s thigh.
“Yeah.” Tyler nodded, and he believed it.
~~~~~
Tyler would be lying if he said he didn’t hear the crowd when he first stepped onto the ice for warm-ups. There were lots of boos, but he spotted a couple posters welcoming him back to Boston. It was just about how he expected the reception to go, and now that the first lap around the ice was over, he could put the anxiety behind him and focus on the game at hand.
Tyler was going through his usual warm up routine; he was a creature of habit like most NHL players. While stretching out his legs at the center red line that separated the two teams, Tyler saw a yellow and black jersey headed his way out of his peripheral.
“What’s up, Seggy? You miss me?”
“Can’t say I have, Marchy.” Tyler was smiling, but inside he kind of meant it. Nothing against Brad Marchand, but ever since he found Jamie, or Jamie found him, he hadn’t thought about his former teammates.
“Don’t be like that, Segs. I know you do.” Marchand smirked and gave Tyler a tap on the shin pad with his stick. It wasn’t a hard tap, but it was a little more aggressive than Tyler had anticipated. Before Tyler could come back with another chirp, a flash of white and green stepped in between the two of them.
“Don’t touch him. He’s not your teammate anymore. If you want to talk to him, do it after the game.”
“Oh that’s how it is, huh, Benn?” Marchand gave Jamie a quick look up and down, as if he were sizing him up. Jamie almost laughed because of the approximate six inches he had on Marchand.
“Yeah, that’s how it is.”
“Segs, you just let this guy boss you around like that?” Marchand chuckled and made a gesture at Jamie with his hand, which Jamie didn’t particularly care for. He found himself chest to chest with Marchand within an instant.
“Why don’t you just go back to your side?”
“Yeah? Why don’t you fucking make me?” Marchand said with a little shove to Jamie’s chest. Players from both teams were at their sides in an instant pulling their respective teammate back before a pregame fight could transpire.
“Alright, guys, save it for the game.”
“Yeah,” Jamie muttered under his breath. “You can count on it.”
~~~~~
Tyler glided to the center dot to take the initial faceoff, and to his dismay, Patrice Bergeron was already waiting for him on the opposite side of the circle. The two hadn’t had a great relationship when they were teammates, and then when Tyler was traded, Bergeron added salt to the wound with an interview he gave saying Tyler needed to grow up. Tyler had a few words he wanted to say to him, but he decided to keep his eyes fixed on the ref who was doing his last minute checks before starting the game. Unfortunately, the silence was interrupted by that dreadful and all too familiar voice.
“How’s Dallas treating you?”
Tyler’s head snapped up, because what the hell? All of a sudden he was going to act like he was concerned? No, fuck that. He couldn’t wait to see Tyler go, and Tyler wasn’t about to act like they were buddies.
“Why do you care?” Tyler spat, shooting eye daggers Bergeron’s way. If only looks could kill.
“Well, it looks like you’ve found your fit. I mean you said it yourself, only steers and queers in Texas, right?” Bergeron chuckled.
Tyler felt his heart rate rise to a dangerous level. That bastard. Tyler knew he was going to come up with something snarky, but this? This was way worse.
Patrice had been onto Tyler and his private life ever since the end of Tyler’s rookie season. After they had won the Stanley Cup, Tyler went out by himself for some drinks, because what 19-year-old wouldn’t take advantage of the free underage drinking when it was handed right to him? Anyways, Tyler had drunk until he had felt the familiar buzz and was his usual flirtatious self. What Tyler hadn’t known, though, was that Bergeron was also at said bar. That is until he had made eye contact with him right in the middle of a friendly lap dance he‘d been giving to the random guy he’d been chatting up all night. It was an innocent joke, at least to the other guy, but Bergeron’s eyes had pierced through him as if he was letting Tyler know he could see past the act he was putting on.
“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” He wanted to yell, and get in Bergeron’s face, but he knew he needed to keep his voice down. He didn’t want anyone else to hear the exchange.
“You tell me.”
“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.” Tyler swallowed back a nervous lump in his throat and looked away. He needed a distraction to calm his nerves down.
“Does your buddy, Benn, know? ‘Cos you two are awfully close.” The question hit Tyler like a truck. He didn’t realize Patrice had been keeping such close tabs on him. And for what? Blackmail? He knew Bergeron was just trying to get into his head, to throw him off his game, but the thought of Jamie finding out about Tyler’s sexuality nearly sent him into another panic attack. It would ruin their relationship, and he couldn’t allow that to happen. He just couldn’t.
“Shut the fuck up. You can shit talk me all you want, but you better leave Jamie’s name out of your mouth,” Tyler spat through gritted teeth.
“So he doesn’t know?” Patrice chuckled and shook his head. “That’s a shame, because if I were him, I’d want to know.”
“Are you gonna talk all night, or are you gonna play hockey?” Tyler knew that was a shitty comeback, but he didn’t know what else to say without outing himself.
Finally, the head official made his way over to the two of them, allowing Tyler to break his eye contact with Patrice and get ready for the faceoff.
“Alright, boys, here we go. Let’s play a clean game.”
Yeah, there’s no way in hell that’s happening, Tyler thought to himself. He quickly shook off Bergeron’s comments when the whistle blew and got ready to win the faceoff. When both sides were ready, the puck dropped, and the first period was underway.
~~~~~
The game was just as intense as a playoff game, which was unusual since it was only one month into the season and between two teams in opposite conferences. It immediately started off physical, mainly from Bergeron hitting Tyler any chance he got and Jamie hitting Bergeron in response. Once the physicality was consistent between two players on opposing teams, it was like a domino effect for the rest of the players. Then, once the grittiness was present, the need to win the game became so much more important.
Jamie opened the scoring just over three minutes into the first period, but the lead was short-lived when Torey Krug responded with a goal thirty seconds later. The rest of the first period and the entirety of the second were filled with tough, back and forth hockey, but the score remained tied at one going into the third.
Jamie and Tyler jumped over the boards simultaneously when it was their line’s time to play against the Bruins top line. Tyler was the first to the opposing player with the puck, catching the Bruin off guard by his speed. He managed to tie up the puck against the boards, struggling to gain possession. Val Nichushkin came to Tyler’s aid not too long after the puck battle began and was able to kick it free up the boards. After a lucky bounce, the puck found itself against Jamie’s stick with a wide-open net. Suddenly, Jamie felt like life was in slow motion. His eyes grew to the size of golf balls while he instinctively snapped the puck towards the net. Life quickly resumed back to normal pace as he watched the puck go wide of the net and ricochet off the boards.
The Stars’ top line continued to battle for the puck, but to no avail. The Bruin’s defense was able to gain control and break out into a rush out of their zone. Tyler, exhausted from the full shift, made his way to the bench for a change. Jamie, panting equally as hard, followed behind Tyler. But before he made it to the bench, he felt an unexpected, sharp jolt against his ribs, knocking the wind out of him.
“Gotta be aware, Benny. Especially of who you associate with. Don’t want people thinking the wrong thing. Unless you swing that way, too,” Bergeron muttered to a doubled over Jamie. Jamie was too injured to respond, and his head was spinning too much to even process what was said. All he could do was focus on the ice and try and catch his breath.
~~~~~
Tyler stepped onto the bench but quickly turned around to face the ice again when he heard a commotion from the crowd. He immediately caught Bergeron’s smug look that was directed right at Tyler and Jamie on all fours on the ice. Tyler knew. He instantly knew what Bergeron had done.
“What the fuck?!” Tyler screamed and swung his leg over the board with the full intention of beating the shit out of his ex-teammate. But before he could get his other leg over, he felt a hand wrapped around his arm to hold him back.
“Tyler, don’t! It’s not worth it; we need you.” Tyler knew Rous was right. If he hopped onto the ice just to fight Bergeron, he’d be kicked out of the game and maybe even suspended by the league, but he couldn’t calm down. He knew Bergeron attacked Jamie just to get to him. The more he thought about it, the more physically sick he felt.
“He… He just-” Tyler’s emotions prevented him from being able to finish his sentence, but seeing Jordie and his other teammates who were on the ice quickly spring to action to defend Jamie helped him stay on the bench and not do anything stupid.
When the refs started to put the fires out in the scrum, a Stars trainer was able to help Jamie off the ice and down the tunnel to the locker room. Tyler watched as he disappeared down the hallway, wanting to run after him and do what he could to help make him better. But, he was stuck on the bench with a game to somehow finish.
Tyler sat back down on the bench, stick gripped tightly beneath his gloves. He felt completely helpless, which made his jaw clench. Tyler knew the next time he stepped onto the ice he had to have his revenge. That was the only thing in his control right now. He was determined, more than ever, to make the Bruins regret it.
~~~~~
“Tyler, first of all congrats on the win. How does it feel to get the game winning goal, not only against your former team but in an intense game like that?”
“Uh, yeah. I mean it’s obviously nice to win against your old team. Especially in a heated game like that. When your captain takes a bad hit you want to win that much more.” Tyler hummed, trying to keep the anger he still had at bay.
“When Jamie exited the game after taking the butt end of Bergeron’s stick, what was the message to the rest of the team going into the final minutes of the game?”
“Finish the game. Jamie couldn’t be there to fight with us, so we knew we needed to fight for him. I thought we obviously responded well, and I’m glad we didn’t let them take the game after taking our captain from us.” Tyler ignored the bewildered expressions he got in response to his non-cookie cutter answer. He could care less if the Bruins saw this interview. Actually, he wanted them to see it.
“Tyler, last question. What did you think about Kari Lehtonen’s performance in the net tonight?”
“It was everything. He kept us in the game, and I wish we could have given him some more breathing room, but he stood on his head and didn’t allow anything past him.”
“Thanks, Tyler.”
“Thanks,” Tyler parroted before getting back to peeling his sweaty equipment off his body.
Instead of hitting the showers, Tyler slipped back into his warm-up clothes and made his way down the hall to the medical room. When he walked in, he saw Jamie sitting back against the examination bench with an ice pack wrapped around his ribs. Jamie turned his head when he felt another presence in the room, a smile spreading on his lips when he saw who it was.
“Hell of a wrister, Segs,” Jamie croaked out. Hearing the pain still evident in Jamie’s voice made Tyler want to cry.
“You gonna be okay?” Tyler asked. He didn’t want to talk about himself. In fact, feeling like Jamie’s injury was his fault caused Tyler to be disgusted with himself.
“I’m fine, just some bruised ribs,” Jamie replied while looking down at his ice pack covered ribs.
“How long will you be out?” Tyler’s voice was quiet, scared to hear the answer.
“I don’t know. They said we’d monitor it tonight and make a decision tomorrow. I’m sure I won’t miss the game,” Tyler could tell Jamie was lying, positive Jamie was trying to protect him, to not let Tyler’s concern grow. He made a mental note to ask the doctor on his way out what timeframe for recovery he’d actually given Jamie.
Tyler crossed his arms over his chest and nodded slowly. He was glad Jamie’s condition wasn’t worse, but he still couldn’t shake the ache in his own chest. Tyler couldn’t believe he was actually taking Bergeron’s words to heart right now, but he couldn’t disagree with it. He wanted to tell Jamie exactly why Bergeron hated him so much, and he wanted more than anything to tell Jamie how he really felt about him because Jamie did deserve to know.
“Tyler,” Jamie said softly, “what’s wrong?” Tyler mentally kicked himself for allowing his body language and facial expression to be read like a book.
“That shouldn’t have happened to you,” Tyler sighed and leaned against the doorway. He cast his eyes downwards so he didn’t have to make eye contact with Jamie’s concerned stare.
“It’s hockey, Tyler. It happens.”
“That wasn’t hockey. That was a cheap shot against the wrong person,” Tyler argued. “I don’t know why he didn’t just come after me. I’m sorry you had to pay the price for my battle.”
“Your battle is my battle, Segs.”
Tyler snapped his eyes up to look at Jamie, because that response? How could he not? God, why did Jamie have to be so noble? And so damn attractive while looking at Tyler with his body all banged up from protecting him. If this was a rom-com, they’d be making out by now. But it’s not, and Tyler needed to stop picturing it while making eye contact with Jamie.
“I’m your captain, dummy. It’s what I do,” Jamie chuckled and tossed a small wad of tape in Tyler’s direction, as if to say ‘lighten up.’
Tyler let out a sigh of relief, or was it disappointment? Either way, he forced a small smile and rolled his eyes.
“Whatever, Chubbs,” Tyler teased, gently tossing the tape ball back at him to avoid injuring Jamie more. “You ready to get on the bus?”
“I still need a minute. Save me a seat?”
“’Course,” Tyler answered, and Jamie smiled in return. Tyler turned out of the room, shaking his head as he walked back to the locker room to gather his things.
“Well, fuck,” Tyler thought to himself. “Stupid love.”
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DESTIEL RANT! Unpopular Opinion Time - The Scene was NOT Homophobic
Wow. It’s BEEN YEARS! And yet here I am again! I have returned to my Tumblr roots, rambling about Supernatural again! I have come full circle! Summoned by three words spoken by the Angel of the Lord we all knew and loved. But lets get down to business. Everyone’s going crazy. They either loved it, hated it, loved/hated it, hated/loved it, etc. Even people who never watched an episode felt the need to add their two cents without any context or with extreme bias. So here’s the observations from a former Supernatural Fan and intense DESTIEL SHIPPER, but also one who has stopped watching it cause omfg it sucks so bad now. My bias comes from both angles and thus neutralizes each other out xD Obviously, spoilers for Episode 18 of Season 15 of Supernatural lay ahead. ~~~
(TL;DR: The scene wasn’t bad because it was forced or homophobic. It was neither. The scene was bad because of long term poor plotting, repetitive character arcs and horrendous timing and execution. That said, my shipping heart is just happy that it happened at all. <3 ) ONWARDS! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lets just get to the point. At first glance, that scene looks extremely homophobic and when it was first described to me (I haven’t watched the show since Season 9), it appears that is indeed the case. And you can make a STRONG case for it to, if you watched that scene and knew of all the fucking queer bait we had to live through before getting here. But I watched the entire episode. And I think this is key. Cause while it’s easy to say its all homophobic, that’s not actually what was happening. The truth is, the episode is a set up for the ending. Sure it seems to be framed that Castiel is sent to the Empty for being gay, but that’s the bias talking. Contextually, Castiel is sent to the Empty for being Truly Happy. Also EVERYONE dies. Funny how no one is up in arms that Charlie’s GF got poofed at the very start of the episode. Not gay enough for it to count? Like she literally made her girlfriend breakfast and they were flirting, and boom she was gone FOREVER, not sent to a place where people have come back from before, but with NO EVIDENCE of them being alive at all. Dead. Gone. But no one says a damn thing. And then EVERYONE died. THEN Cas died. And yet everyone got like temporary amnesia and its like, “CASTIEL WAS KILLED FOR BEING GAY!!!” That’s...not what happened tho. What’s really sad is the moment with Castiel was actually a GREAT plot point/twist, if only they had done it better. NO ONE would be saying SHIT if Castiel had been a woman. NO ONE. Or at least, they would mostly see it as tragic than anything else. But because Castiel is making a homosexual love confession, it must BE because he’s GAY! It’s really ironic. Judging that scene as homophobic is ACTUALLY homophobic* (not really, but i can’t think of a better word). Or at least you’re judging the scene by their sexuality and not by what is actually going on. Now I remembered something after thinking about this scene for a while. THIS PLOT POINT HAS HAPPENED BEFORE IN ANOTHER EVEN MORE ICONIC SHOW!!! Now bear with me cause I never watched the whole thing, only the bits and pieces my roommate shared with me. But the whole “I am cursed to suffer a terrible fate if I ever experience true happiness” has been done before. And where was that?
Spoilers for Buffy by the way. SO! To all those who are still trying to spin this as platonic, you need to watch more shitty afterschool 90s supernatural TV shows. In season 2 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Buffy’s good vampire boyfriend, wakes up evil because he had a moment of true happiness. And this dooms the couple. NOW. Do you call this...heterophobia???? Oh I hear you! “But Angel didn’t die and he and Buffy got to be romantic and actually have sex before that shit went down! Not the same thing!” TRUE. I didn’t really bring this up to make an argument that the scene/show isn’t homophobic (or at least they are very uncomfortable with it), but rather I wanted to make a point that the PLOT POINT is not at all homophobic and is actually really awesome. The issue with the scene is the execution. That moment between Cas and Dean should have happened SEASONS ago or at the VERY LEAST earlier in this FINAL season, and not right at the very end. The other reason why it worked so well with Buffy is that they had plenty of episodes afterwards to go into it, have Buffy react to it, and deal with it and such. Meanwhile SPN, still BLATANTLY uncomfortable with handling this sort of thing, decided to put Castiel away in a dark closet and then put forth an end the world plotline by killing EVERYONE so Dean is too busy to actually think and talk about it for any real length of time XD. I wouldn’t use the word homophobic for it, because it wasn’t used as a joke, it wasn’t used to demean gay people, it wasn’t meant to say “if you are homosexual, you go to hell.”
That’s not it at all. The only reason people think that is because they’ve been hurt in the past so many times, by religion and government and truly homophobic media, and this scene triggers that hurt. HOWEVER, if you look at that scene without that lens, it’s more cowardly and insecure, than homophobic. Cause at the end of the day, that’s the whole problem with Supernatural. They never commit. Their writing is lazy and weak because they don’t have the writing chops to actually GO FOR IT.
They are constantly at war with the writing, the ratings/money, and the general public views. They constantly add poc and homosexual characters, but are too afraid to actually do anything with them in fear of doing it poorly and upsetting people (and honestly, it’s a valid fear XD). I stopped watching Supernatural cause the writing is HORRIBLE. It has nothing to do with homophobia and everything to do with the fact its all over the place, there’s no stakes, the power escalation is shot to hell, they keep saying SIKE when they do kill people, no changes last forever, and it should have ended SEASONS ago. Its BAD. But in regards to homosexuality, the fact that they used a plot point that the legendary Buffy the Vampire Slayer used but used it on two characters of the same sex is actually AMAZING. YES it was CRINGY. The handprint was cringy! They were trying WAY too hard to make it different than the other 1000000 times Castiel died for Dean. But it was their poor plotting, their overuse of killing and bringing back people, the fact Dean and Cas never actually even toyed with the idea of romance openly in the entire show, that caused this scene to not shine as brightly as it could have.
THAT SAID.
HOLY SHIT CASTIEL LOVES DEAN! THATS AMAZING!!!! Ahem. Another reason why people get this scene so wrong is because they think writers are actual Gods. We are not. They are flawed and they are many and this show had WAY too many showrunners. AND IT SHOWS. But you know whos constant? The actors. Dean has never really changed. Jensen played him exactly as he’s always played him. ALWAYS. Any person who got mad that Dean didn’t sob or kiss Castiel needs to take off their gay fucking glasses and respect the fact that THAT ISN’T DEAN. HE’S NEVER BEEN THAT WAY. EVEN IF CASTIEL WAS A WOMAN HE WOULDNT HAVE ACTED THAT WAY.
Also Dean has been so BLATANTLY straight this WHOLE time. Now I’m not saying that the romantic feelings were not reciprocal. I’m saying we don’t fucking know XD Hell DEAN might not know, and honestly that would be the most realistic and best way to handle that. Do you know how FUCKED UP it would have been if Dean broke character and suddenly came out as Gay and totally fine with that and just acted like he’s been gay this WHOLE time even when it’s so obvious that he was not?!! Its like - Respect Homosexuality, but Disrespect all other sexualities. You can’t just force Dean to be Gay and Comfortable With That Fact (tm).
You can’t. And to expect and force Jensen Ackles to play his character, that he’s played for years that way, to tell him to fuck off how he’s BEEN playing him cause it’s not good enough anymore even though everyone ATE IT UP before Castiel came on screen, is an INSULT to him. I do think he can realize it. I think he can lean into it. I really do think it’s possible to do it in a way that’s realistic and still in character with how Jensen has played him all these years. But now, you’re all fucking entitled little nutcases if you think that Dean should bend to your fanfic fantasy as being head over heels in love with a man without any issue at all when there’s absolutely nothing in his backstory, childhood, or ANYTHING that would explain why he would be that way. I’m old as fuck, but you know how Dean SHOULD play it? Like Heath Ledger’s character in Brokeback Mountain. He didn’t exactly showed his emotions regarding the love of his fucking life immediately, now did he? BUT THAT SAID THIS ISNT BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN YOU HORNY FUCKS XDD Ahem. That’s also a reminder for myself XD ANYWAYS!!!
TL;DR: The scene wasn’t bad because it was forced or homophobic.
It was neither.
The scene was bad because of long term poor plotting, repetitive character arcs and horrendous timing and execution.
That said, my shipping heart is just happy that it happened at all. <3 The End. That is all
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History3: MODC review I guess?
Word Count: around 2,080
Warning: Potential Spoiler for POSE Season 2. I’m not sure if it’s been streaming globally yet, but I mention the death of a character.
I fell in love with the BL drama HIStory this past August. It was after coming across a video on twitter of two men embracing, kissing and both breaking down in tears on the floor of a lavish, minimalistic, bedroom. After a bit of digging in the replies, I learned the name of the show, History3: Trapped. One google later, I’m on VIKI and I find the entire first half-season which had just wrapped up two months prior. The rest of that month was spent binging it and the first 2 seasons (and The Untamed). This week the second half of the beloved drama’s third season which has been hailed the best BL drama of 2019, possibly all-time, ended with a thud on the 18th. Prior to this week it had a solid score of 9.5 on MyDramaLive where it now sits at 8.5. (Rating seems to be falling slightly every 2-3 days, now sits at 8.4.) This season’s love story focused on the story between Yu Xi Gu, an orphan, loner, and presumptive valedictorian of Zenren High and Xiang Hao Ting, the carefree Mr. popular of the school. The show also follows a side couple, HaoTing’s best friend Sun Bo Xiang and Xi Gu’s boss, Lu Zhi Gang. This season focused on the blossoming of these two couples’ relationships in such a way that most of us thought “Oh wow they’re going for full on happy go lucky in love” and while they met challenges like HaoTing’s homophobic parents and entrance exams they managed to fight for each other with their relationship getting stronger every time. That was until this week’s finale when we were served with a plate of Deadly Distant Finale with a side of Bury Your Gays and a glass Gay for You.
I initially thought that I was okay with the finale in a similar way to how I was with the finale of HIStory3: Trapped. That was bittersweet yet common sense. Shao Fei was a cop, Tang Yi a mob boss who shot an officer, he “had” to go to jail. Yet the more I thought about it I felt grieved, insulted rather by MODCs finale. So, like everyone else is doing on social media, I’m going to nitpick the hell out of it as part of my “healing process.” Also, while all of us are upset, unfortunately as in the summer, some fans are attacking the cast and crew. In the words of the master heart crusher, Shonda Rhimes, “Don’t tweet them your crazy,” or...whatever the weibo equivalent is. So, before the nitpicking, a caveat. My beef is with the lazy writing of episode 10, this entire cast was outstanding from Wayne and ChuanChih to the ZENREN homies to The Xiang Family just outstanding. Possibly the best History ensemble since H2:Crossing The Line. Thankfully, this season was not written the same writer of H3: Trapped that would have been way too much for me. (Although, word in the fandom is that MODCs screenwriter wasn’t fond of Trapped’s screenwriter, or rather her treatment for the finale? Alexa, Play Ironic by Alanis Morrisette.) Also in this review, I’m going to be using the VIKI episode count when referring to episodes so just 1-9. *wink*
On to the picking apart, if you watched all of episode 9 last week, you probably had the same horrified realization as I that our first intimate moment in episode 2 where HT saves XG from getting run over by a moped was foreshadowing for the finale. I don’t want to dissuade anyone from watching the series again, I will, but with the ending we got? It’s going to be difficult to revisit that scene again without resentment. It’s bad enough that XiGu, the main character up to this point, dies off screen in a way that nearly renders him worthless. Especially in the way that this story said “meet this soft, pitiful, malnourished and overworked boy; fall in love with him as he allows himself to fall in love and watch as that love makes him bloom.” I haven’t been this upset over a needless character death since, well, I can’t even say that I have made peace with Candy’s death in season 2 of POSE and that was 5 months ago.
I don’t know why the writer chose this ending that says “fighting tooth and nail for love is meaningless, yet the memories make it worthwhile?” I’m being petty, we know for HaoTing this love was not meaningless, XiGu’s death is not meaningless. If XiGu’s death was meaningless he wouldn’t have thrown himself into his undergrad studies and gotten into Stanford grad to continue XiGu’s dre…hold the hell on. Wait a damn minute, isn’t that…the dead love interest trope? So, in the POV of this finale, XiGu’s existence was to get HaoTing to mature and become a physicist? Remember, high school HaoTing didn’t really have a dream outside of being with XG 24/7. He became a better student and chose to become a Physics major solely to be with XG. During the show, this particular plot point had some fans noting, while sweet in theory, pinning your hopes and dreams on teenage love can be costly in real life.
Six years on, it seems the only people that have been affected by XiGu’s death are HaoTing and Lin Cai Chu, his ex-girlfriend? I understand in real life we tend to be moved on after this much time. Yet, there was no mention of Xi Gu from the crew or the family, even when he was visibly upset around them. You could count Mrs. Xiang when she spoke to Hao Ting while he was packing, but she never names him, only implies, and, I feel we had to dive for that meaning. Also, there was no significant interaction from Sun Bo or his sister Yong Ching, who were the closest with HT during this whole relationship. Yong Ching listens to her brother cry after their father tears XiGu and HaoTing apart and she plays messenger between them during their parting. However, in episode 10 she’s enamored with Phoebe’s style? Sun Bo is HaoTing’s brother in the battle for love they share everything about how their hearts feel about their guys. But when HT drunkenly pours out his grief after six years, and he kinda gives a “damn bro, that sucks” vibe for a good part of the talk? (Sidenote: Wayne acted his whole ass off in this episode, do you hear me?) In Trapped, ShaoFei knew everything about TangYi. When Chen Wen Hao and Sister Lizhen were revealed as TangYi’s parents he grieves with and comforts him back at home. (Bonus: if you watch that scene again you can see Jake break down with Chris when they pull apart.)
I’m not touching that damn doppleganger moment, why even do it? These decisions have been made, yet the way both XiGu’s death and HaoTing’s potential girlfriend Phoebe are hinted and implied at, yet never really engaged with or seen. Which, to me, signals fear on part of the writer. These are the decisions you felt comfortable making so why not go ahead and give it to us full out. Show us XiGu dying in HaoTing’s arms, HaoTing visiting his grave a la Trapped episode 10, or show us the moment when Phoebe meets the family. We could have gotten more thought or effort put into these plot twists on the part of the writer. We see the way HaoTing weeps over XiGu and how he just shrugs off the mention of Phoebe from his family. XiGu and HaoTing lined and called each other daily, Phoebe can’t even email to let him know where she is? Worse yet, HaoTing does not even attempt checking up on her? Is on a 13-hour flight or about to get on one? Don’t really know, damn sure don’t care.
I “got” that he doesn’t think the love of his life can ever be replaced, but we also know through his actions that he doesn’t love her either. Even though he’s introducing her to his family, I ask, does he even like her? Where’d they meet? How old is she? Why bring her up if you aren’t going to flesh the concept of Phoebe out? If you really wanted to give a love story closure “well” you should have done all of this several episodes ago by breaking them up or even condensing the love story and killing XG earlier on rather than handing us this death/new gf cocktail in ONE EPISODE. So many HIStorians thought that the boys would split because of HaoTing lying about the rent, and this makes perfect sense as it’s a clear violation of XiGu’s desire to be as self-reliant as possible, even in a relationship. That could have given rise to the first big argument and potential breakup.
At first, I thought that the most insulting thing about this finale was that we didn’t get a happy ever after, or at least a happy for now like Trapped. Happy endings are an unofficial mission statement of the series. However, the most insulting thing about this finale, for me, was that death became final. Three years in a series, where death has NEVER been final, or even an option for its leads at least since season 1. (Which HIStorians like, but don’t really talk about for good reason.) Now, you could argue about Trapped because Shao Fei does get shot twice and if any storyline was primed for death it was theirs. However, even with the action element, the Brooklyn Nine-Nine type comedy never gave it the gravity that MODC unknowingly had. We were presented the stakes, the murders of Old Tang/LiZhen, and knew the threat, Chen WenHao. In MODC, there was a quiet unease I had for most of my watch along the lines of, “this is perfect. I love it, but it’s too perfect.” The “challenges” XG/HT faced they pretty much steamrolled every time so I assumed they were in the clear until the last 5 minutes of episode 9.
H1: My Hero and H1: Obsessed both had plots that dealt with the boundary of death, making it impermanent “because love.” While we’re at it, let’s talk about Obsessed shall we. Even abusive ass, stalker ass Jiang Jing Teng, a man who by logic and common sense shouldn’t have, got a chance to love again. He got to say goodbye to, spread the ashes of, and reunite with Shao Yi Chen. After his beard, who it just so happened was also a witch/sorceress, brought back SYC from the dead, not once BUT TWICE?!? (First, from rebirth. Second, it was all a dream.) Yet YXG/SHT, the most loved couple since CTL, can’t get a similar twist of fate? Make it make sense, especially given that this is likely the final season for HIStory.
That hurt to type, but, it looks like History3 is going to be the final season for the series. Since we haven’t had any official announcement from CHOCO. And with 2 major backlashes, the first based on misunderstanding with Trapped and the second due to MODC lazy finale, it’s looking like a done deal until the CTL movie comes out at the end of 2020. In which case, everyone involved is going to have to be on their very best behavior from now on. In the hearts of some HIStorians, this finale has done irreparable damage to MODC itself and the HIStory franchise. Which is sad, considering that up to this point HIStory was getting better and better with each season only to decimate that growth in one episode.
*cue Mariah* I still believe that MODC is the best BL drama of 2019. It’s the best to come out of Taiwan since CTL. Most of that is due to the phenomenal work of the cast, and… yes, the initial episodes written by our screenwriter. Even with my frustrations with the finale, I was conflicted as I said on Wednesday night. I was very disappointed, but the performances I did get, specifically from Wayne, kept me engaged to the point that I still enjoyed it. Does it make up for the cruelty to Yu Xi Gu not at all, but the previous 9 episodes pretty much put it in my top 5 all-time early on. What now? I’m waiting for the dvd drop next year and reliving every blissful moment. Oh, and I’m rewatching episodes 5/6 for Christmas.
If you made it this far, thank you HIStorians, you all have made this surprise journey most certainly worth it.
Merry Christmas and Best Wishes to all of you in 2020,
Jo
PS: word from Mandarin speaking fans is that the novelization of this series has 2 endings. One happy and the one we saw on Wednesday which…*sigh* at least there’s a universe where the boys are happy. I also have some notes on issues I had with HaoTing’s family in episode 10 that I’ll likely touch on after Christmas.
PPS: I can’t believe we got blessed with multiple Duke Wu appearances!!!
#History series#history 3: 圈套#History3: MODC#history3: make our days count#MODC#make our days count#History BL#History: Obsessed#History: Stay Away From Me#history the series#history 3: 那一天#history 3: trapped#Wayne Song#Duke Wu
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New question: Why do I dislike Misha and his fans?
@super-who-loser asked the following question:
Hey, I’m not trying to come across as rude or anything I’m just wondering why you dislike Misha so much? I know Jared and Jensen have been there since the beginning and yes, there have been times where his character has been pretty useless but I don’t hate him and you’re being really mean to some Destiel shippers and like I know that it’s obviously never going to happen and Cockles is a big no no for me but I am confused about why you really don’t like him? I’m honestly just curious
Thank you for the question. Let me point out before hand, that my irritation towards Misha has nothing to do with a ship. I used to read destiel slash. I used to like Cockles AU. I don't ship wincest. I ship AUs. Its my favorite slash subgenre. So no, this is not a ship argument. Ship whatever you want, but mind your manners. There are many things that I don't like about Misha. However I am choosing to answer only from a SPN perspective because that is the primary way that we know him.
MISHA AND SLASH FICTION
You may not realize this but Supernatural has been on the air for so long that it, plus its fan base, has experienced and initiated a few changes and trends. In the space of fourteen years, filming became digitalized. Social media, which was a fledgling thing back then, is the norm now [I have a disdain towards social media]. To put it into perspective, the child actors that played Asher, the Antichrist kid [I forget his name] and Little Lillith from the early seasons are likely in their 20s now. Trends in entertainment changed. Hollywood seems poised to implode upon itself, geographically, with major entertainers moving house to outlets like Netflix. Netflix, not bound by geography, is likely to become the next Hollywood. Slash, too, has undergone change. And as far as SPN is concerned, that change has not been organic. It has been by design and at the hands on Misha Collins.
When Castiel came on board, there were already two prevalent pairings in Supernatural: Wincest and Bobby/John. There were other pairings. But these were the most prevalent. So Supernatural had slash fans already. These fans were already aware of what slash fiction was, and they were a self-monitoring group. They realized that the actors were aware of slash and didn't want it to be the focal point of their con appearances, because they didn't want the fans to think they were hinting at anything. The fans understood and ever since, they have respected the actor's wishes. When some fans liked Dean's interaction with Cas, they started shipping destiel.
Destiel's old fans were just like all the other shippers. They were treating destiel the way it should be treated. Like a fantasy. They did artwork and literature about it and kept it to themselves, as they should. Misha never knew what slash fiction was, until he looked on Tumblr and found Destiel. In his words, he used destiel to ''keep this gig for longer''. He kept talking about destiel even though he was instructed not to, and pulling the LGBT into it, to make it look like destiel was about gay rights and queer art, when it isn't. There are various kinds of destiel written by different people, from different perspectives, for different reasons. That is true for all pairings everywhere. By making destiel about the LGBT and waving the ''no shipping question'' rule in convention panels, he did two things.
He turned destiel into a vehicle for LGBT activism. Instead of being a pastime, now destiel is used to fight for LGBT representation, even though, many of the LGBT people within my own circle despise him for it. Most of the people fighting for LGBT representation are actually quite homophobic and insulting in their thinking and logic. And they are not even LGBT. They are just a bunch of straight girls for whom, their fantasy has become a drug, and they wont stop until destiel becomes canon.
He turned Jensen into the bad guy. Misha spoke openly about slash. Jensen chose not to. He didn't want any part of it, and this is true about all the pairings he is a part of, not just destiel. Because of his choice, Misha fans make negative comparisons between him and Misha, even saying that Jensen is a homophobe/biphobe because he doesn't want to talk about destiel or make it canon. They ranted about it on social media and mass media picked up on it. The University Of Sydney has an academic paper, under Celebrity Studies, dedicated to Jensen's supposed homophobia. The destiel shippers are literally Jensen's reputation.
Misha should have left slash alone. Any fan of his will know that he overindulges the slash fans. And the one thing that I noticed about slash fans, is that you don't give them excessive attention, or they will go completely crazy. It doesn't matter what they slash.
Harry Styles and Liam Tomlinson learned that the hard way, because the Larry fans destroyed their friendships when they over-emphasized the fan servicing. They did the fan servicing because Modest Management told them to, they ended up hating their fans for what the fans became. They have since severed ties with Modest. Even on a day when one of them was mourning the loss of a parent, the fans who pushing the other guy so they could have a ship moment. These two boys were very young when they entered the band. Harry was 15 years old. They had youthful ignorance to blame for making the decision to blindly follow the manager's instruction. Misha cannot make any of those excuses.
Misha got into the show at age 35. He was already a grown man. He was not a pivotal part of the show and therefore the only notes he was getting, was for his acting. He wasn't being coached by anyone as to how he should engage his fans. He was too small a fry for that. In fact, no one was sure how long he would last on the show. So these notes were only acting, including one telling him not to adlib his lines. Whatever transpired between him and the destiel fans, happened because he orchestrated it.
MISHA AND SUPERNATURAL
When Cas came on board, he was fun new character. By the end of season 5, he had run his course on the show. The show didn't need his character because [and as a writer I understand this] the presence of Castiel hampered the progress of the story. Sera Gamble dealt with that frustration during her tenure as showrunner. Cas was an angel. If he was an ally to the boys, the boys should have a more powerful nemesis. After all, they have an angel buddy to help them. Unfortunately, they couldn't keep coming up with more and more powerful bad guys and negative elements, especially on a show where the biggest bad guy, the devil itself, and the worst case scenario [the apocalypse] has already been dealt with.
During 6 and 7, they had Soulless Sam, Sam's wall, the leviathans, Metatron, the demons, Crowley, Dick Roman and even the Alphas, if I am not mistaken. So many bad guys and bad situations, because the good guys had a powerful angel. They could make him lose his power, so he wont be such a powerful ally. And they did exactly that. But Misha has very few skills to show off. Imagine if Osric was Cas. Even without power, he would still be able to taekwondo the stuffing out of bad guys. He wouldn't be useless. Cas, without his grace, didn't help the story along. He didn't bring something extra to the story. He was pointless. So they made him a bad guy and for the first time in a long time, Cas was pivotal to the story.
Eventually, she got fed up of shoehorning him into the script and just did away with the character. But, rumor has it that Singer brought him back. And he was welcome by the worst Q score measurement ever. That would tell you that he was not appreciated as an actor by everyone, just his shipping and cult fans. Since then, Cas has done nothing important in the script until recently where he made a deal for Jack. Other than that, he has been an add on, and that is Misha's fault. Every time Jensen and Misha did a scene, Misha would overemphasize the destiel aspect, either via social media or during his panels. And eventually Jensen got fed up and cut the scenes short. Basically, Misha shot himself in the foot. The DeanCas fan service made for annoying television for people who didn't want to deal with shippy nonsense while they were watching their favorite show.
If they didn't add anything shipping related, the hellers screamed. If they did, the hellers screamed canon and queer baiting. Misha's interference did that. All he had to do was stop talking, and he couldn't do that, because his fan base will lose interest in him. In order to keep that one group of militants, Misha isolated all other fans and potential fans.
MISHA AND THE DESTIEL FANS
Misha's fan have sent Jensen various death threats, the receipts of which are on my blog. A few days back, a heller was setting Jensen's picture on fire because Misha tweeted a lie that there will be a turning point for Dean and Cas in the upcoming episode. So even though Misha was the guilty party, this psycho is punishing Jensen. These fans have also discussed kidnapping Jared's children. When they bully Jensen and Jared, they tag Misha in many of the tweets. Misha randomly does Q and A sessions based on his tweets, but he has never seen a single threat and bullying remark??.....in ten years??.....really?? Nah, I am not buying that. Frankly, I think the man just doesn't care. Acknowledging them will mean he will have to stop them which means he will eventually have to stop peddling destiel which means he will not have an audience which means SPN will kick him right out. The funny thing is, I think he is wrong. He might actually have more fans if he didn't alienate them with his special brand of shippy vulgarity. I could fill a page with all the receipts of the death threats. And Jensen doesn't deserve that.
I also call out destiel shippers on Tumblr so that everyone else can block the problematic ones. Have you noticed how many names there are for the destiel pairing? DeanCas, CasDean, DeanxCastiel and recently I discovered Dastiel. Have you ever wondered why? It is because they don't want you to block them. If you filter destiel, they will use another name. Why is that? That is not a ship. That's a cult. They want to indoctrinate. They tag destiel in other fandom names. They are trying to create more fans for a ship. That is why I call out specific people. Especially the ones that tag AKF in their destiel garbage. I have no issues with the good shippers. I have done posts about them. The bad ones might do something criminal one day, which is why they bother me.
This answer, only just scratches the surface. I am not telling you everything. I am not telling you about Jared, Robert Berens, Kim, Briana, Travis, Sera Gamble, Ben Edlund, Ty Olsson etc. I am just telling you the brief basics. I hope this answers your question. Have a nice day. Apologies for the inevitable typos.
#misha#jensen ackles#destiel#cockles#jenmish#jensen and misha#deancas#casdean#dean x castiel#castiel#cas#bi dean#dean is bi#dean and cas#jenmisheel#dean winchester#destiel headcanon#jdvm#misha collins#sam winchester#sam and dean#jensen and jared#wincest#supernatural#jared padalecki#padackles#performing dean#sabriel#sammy winchester#j2
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Social Mob-Rules Media
Regarding the “viral” video of the Covington Catholic High School teens that Hollywood & the media unfairly turned into pariahs because they hate red #MAGA hats,...
I like how a bunch of #Hollywood chuckleheads were really quick to condemn these kids, because - you know,...actors have all the answers and are apparently allowed to pass judgement on Twitter.
None of them condemned the so called “Black Hebrew Israelites” however, who shouted racist hatred, threats, and homophobic insults. If the BHI protestors where WHITE, they’d be sitting in jail with charges of hate crimes,...but we aren’t allowed to talk like that. The truth is too sensitive of a topic now, so let’s live in denial. What a great plan! That’ll unite us!
This post isn’t about those dickheads.
Or Nathan Phillips, the Native American who apparently also gets a free pass because he’s Native American. He’s allowed to be confrontational because saying otherwise, by a white guy, is racist. Why discuss any of that? The media dropped that story angle like a hot potato.
Anyway,...
Your pal and mine Kathy Griffin, the spokesmodel for rational thought & respectful debate tweeted that she wanted the KIDS names and numbers. Kids FFS! Yes, KIDS! Nothing like putting children at actual risk and potential harm ( or worse ) because ya HATE Trump! I’m sure her fan base isn’t radical or unstable at all. No way they are capable of hurting children. I wish I could write this post with a sarcastic font.
Then insufferable know it all and all around humanitarian/voice of reason Alyssa Milano called the red MAGA hats “the new KKK hood.” Well gosh, that’s not inflammatory or offensive on many levels - to many people - at all. Nothing like uniting people.
Chris Evans was quick to rush to the side of Native Americans while being “disgusted” by American kids. Funny how he doesn’t seem to be disgusted by BHI or the fact that he was duped by the main stream media who purposely manipulated him and other actors with a warped & twisted untrue news story.
And Patton Oswalt said something half assed & stupid but really,...who cares what Patton Oswalt has to say?
As of when I wrote this, Jamie Lee Curtis was, the only celebrity who first condemned the viral video but then publicly APOLOGIZED!
At least there was ONE!
All of these sentinels of diversity, these actors who embrace social equality, these defenders of illegal immigrant children took to Twitter to publicly slam,...American children!
NICE!
But big surprise,...since their WRONG stance and tweets most of them offered anything resembling an apology. The rest just deleted their mistake. I guess to them that qualifies as an apology?
I get it, some of you are liberals and I DO respect that- I vote liberal and conservative depending. Some of you may even look up to these actors. You may even find them inspirational. Appreciate their charity work or their advocacy.
That’s all well and good, but these “wonderful people” are ALL sopping wet and dripping with the foul stench of HYPOCRISY after seeing their reaction and tweets. This gives them ZERO credibility. Zilch. Nada!
These socially aware, compassionate, humanitarians jumped right in to slam these kids based solely on a red hat.
A red god damn hat.
So deep is their hatred of Trump that to them, it was justifiable to ATTACK high school kids on social media. To threaten them with physical harm. Others made death threats. This all is completely inexcusable. As if their station in society, their cause, their concern for America out weighed simple decorum, decency and good old common sense.
Basically, if you voted for Trump, own a red MAGA hat, or like me ( don’t really care for Trump as a person and don’t own a MAGA hat but can’t argue with the numbers, he’s getting shit done ) or if you just aren’t “Liberal enough”,...then you are a racist!
You are a misogynist.
You have white privilege.
And you DESERVE to be treated as a disgusting human being.
Isn’t that GREAT?
If I’m off the mark on that PLEASE explain to me why you think I’m off the mark and how, because that’s how I see it.
These actors are quick to run and assist, lend their voice and notoriety, publicly speak and advocate for EVERYONE EQUALLY! ...as long as you don’t say or do anything they disagree with. Then you’ll get shredded! As long as you HATE Trump they’ll be there for you. United in hatred. That’s not a recipe for social disaster at all! Oh, PLEASE imagine if at any point the shoe was on the other foot and this was conservative roasting a kid,...better yet a gay black kid. Yes, that question is inflammatory,...if you don’t like an honest question and already know the answer and want to get petty and defensive. Don’t answer it, we all know the answer. And THAT is part of the hypocrisy that annoys me. It should annoy you too, if you have a shred of rational thought in your brain.
Are you seeing the hypocrisy in Hollywood & with the media yet?
Once again Liberals are setting a tone that’s offensive. They are making it more & more difficult for ME to be moderate that’s for sure!
I am sure I am not the only moderate who keeps getting turned off by Hollywood & the media’s rhetoric and flat out BULLSHIT!
If you noticed, the liberal media is working hard to bury this story. They know they screwed up. These actors, who won’t apologize, want this incident to go away. Quickly!
DON’T LET THAT HAPPEN! SHARE THIS POST! Keep the story alive BEFORE it happens again,....because it will. People are desperate to bring shame to conservatives. We just witnessed it play out.
The media and these celebrities NEED to be held accountable and they NEED to own the divisiveness they created and continue to create. They also need to be made aware that their tactics are driving moderate voters away. If your creating excuses for the media and celebrities by saying “Trump divides us all the time!” I ask “So your solution is to be equally divisive because that will solve what now?”
I’ve said it before, if you don’t care who you hurt while fighting for what you believe in, good cause or not, you lessen your credibility as well as weaken your cause.
Who ever these actors “endorse” for political office, what makes them think I’m going to jump on board knowing that a group of people with so much blatant hatred, so insulting to anyone NOT liberal, so careless - who attack kids without all the facts-if they endorse or support someone, I’m voting in the opposite direction!
While these allegedly understanding, accept all people, love one another, kumbaya singing lunatics call me a racist, misogynistic, and a hate-monger. Because I don’t agree with how they handled this situation? What great role models.
If that’s all they got, hiding behind the race card, or playing the insult game, or just flat out insulting me and those like me because they’re judging me based of their own deeply psychotic hatreds-then THANKS!
It completely validates my point. Liberal Hollywood is bat shit crazy!
When they describe Trump and his supporters as ignorant racists, what are they? Socially aware ignorant racists? They insult half of America, lecture them, push the liberal agenda on them. Force them to accept new social norms and if they don’t accept any of it call them racists or anything derogatory until what,...they “come around?”
How’s that working out?
I don’t need these self serving, self appointed defenders of social justice “shaming” me, even “bullying” me because I still value my individuality and I am fully capable of thinking for myself. I don’t care if my beliefs fall in line with either the Liberal or Conservative agenda.
If you’re annoyed by how this story of the Covington Kids unfolded and think the media & Hollywood owe these kids AT LEAST an apology. If you think things went too far, and believe the media & Hollywood need to be called out on this one.
TELL THESE CELEBRITIES! TELL THE MEDIA! Share this post!
Its not to get into a pissing contest, but to get the message out,...you don’t get a FREE PASS to spread hatred of any kind.
It is desperate.
It is hypocritical.
And it will backfire!
It is offensive.
By the way, there is NOTHING wrong with making America GREAT!
#covington#cnn#msnbc news#nathan phillips#allysa milano#kathy griffin#patton oswalt#chris evans#black hebrew israelites#viral video#liberals#conservatives#covington catholic#social media#hollywood#fox news#social injustice#celebs#actors#moderates#moderate voters#maga#hypocrisy#fake news#media#trump
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anxiety bubbles in my stomach when i see your face. you disgust me, and i’m obsessed with it. i’ve tried to tell people you’re crazy. i’ve promised myself that karma will come to bite you in the ass at some point.
but karma hasn’t come yet, and i wait in anticipation.
you’re such a bitch. and i’ll explain myself the best way i know how: a list, in chronological order.
the things you’ve done:
it was little lies at first. you said you saw an angel. we were all religious and went to church together, so who was i to say you were bluffing ?
you said you saw an angel. and then you said you had a full conversation with gabriel. about your homework. i’m not religious anymore but i guess if angels exist, its possible ?
you said you had depression. depression is common. a lot of people have it. i think i’ve got it. who even knows at this point ? we all feel a little bit depressed sometimes.
you said you had anxiety. we advised you to get therapy.
depression and anxiety became your dominant personality traits. not actual depression and anxiety as your personality, just you talking about having those. all. the. time. your instagram stories becoming a shrine for the romanticized, attention seeking yet somehow trendy memes glamorizing slits on wrists and mouths full of prescription pills. you were turning into a walking advertisement for delicate pain that you can have too, free of charge. call yourself depressed on instagram and people will pity you. you reveled in the attention it brought you.
at first, people reached out. “you keep posting that you’re depressed, i just wanted to see if you’re doing okay ?” “hey let me know if you ever need a safe place to talk. i’m here for you.” and we were. we were there for you.
you said your parents were “looking into” getting therapy for you. i’ve been to therapy. it doesn’t take long to sign up. your dad is a therapist, he knows how it works.
you said your dad diagnosed you with anxiety and depression. you and i and your dad all know, that’s not how it works.
over time, fewer and fewer people reached out to you. it was the same shit. nobody knew if you were faking it or not. everyone wanted to believe you, because what kind of fucked up person fakes a serious mental illness for attention ?
people stopped listening. whether you actually had mental illnesses or not, you were treating it like some sort of fucked-up hobby. you weren’t interested in getting help. you were content with you father’s biased “diagnosis” and your depression and anxiety became nothing more than some fun, quirky words you liked to use to describe yourself. it was a meme. a troll. people stopped paying attention to you, and you hated it.
three is better than two ! you started saying you had panic attack disorder and people started listening again. several panic attacks every day, at school, you said. people who didn’t know what it means to have a panic attack started listening again. more desperately craved attention.
no, crying in the school bathroom at lunch is not a panic attack.
you started saying you had a stalker. oh, your journey with boys. i know i’m a bitch for writing this. i own that. at least i’m not committing service dog fraud. (oops, spoiler.) a stalker who would follow you home from school, you told everyone. never attached a name, just stalker. i mean, you could have been telling the truth. i just think that someone as desperate for attention as you would have been happy to have a stalker.
you had a random stalker, and then your neighbor confessed his undying love for you. yep, the standoffish, chill surfer boy across the street had a fat crush on you. he begged you to date him. pleaded on his knees for you to be his girlfriend. he, a solid 7.5 with a decent personality, begged for you, a 4 on a good day, to like him back. almost comedic. you, of course, turned him down flat. he apparently got over it right away because he had a girlfriend a week later. (he’s not a fuckboy, they’re still together.)
you added more. a special type of eating disorder that’s so rare that you couldn’t remember what it’s called. (in which you just aren’t ever hungry but you eat regularly anyways ?) you “came out” as autistic to your parents, which is insulting both to those with autism and those in the lgbtq+ community. you started saying you were allergic to gluten and dairy, but ate both in copious amounts anyways. “there’s pills for that,” i told you. “eleven dollars at target to relieve the stomach pains you won’t shut up about. you don’t need a diagnosis for lactaid.” you never took my advice. you kept being loud, eating cheezits and begging for attention. you labeled yourself with more mental illnesses that i can’t remember. what i do remember is you listing them all. there had to be at least seven or eight. all without a therapist.
you graduated. actually, you took the ged and told everyone you graduated early. people congratulated you on being smart enough to graduate early and again, you reveled in their attention. i knew you took the ged because my mom was friends with your mom, and your mom told my mom who promptly told me. even my mom think’s you’re batshit crazy. i told a few of my friends who were for some reason still hanging out with you, who had gone to your graduation party. everyone i told was shocked that you lied about that shit.
you got a service dog. actually, you bought a dog off of craigslist and a vest off of amazon. you said you trained it yourself, and it was for your life-threatening disabilities that remained unidentified. but you didn’t always bring the dog places with you, especially when it was inconvenient like bringing it to disneyland. so i guess your life-threatening disabilities were only life-threatening sometimes.
i confronted you. i texted you, calling you out. i told you i didn’t believe most of the shit you were saying. i told you that if this was true, you needed serious help and instead you were posting shitty memes about it. i told you to stop lying about random shit like being allergic to gluten and having graduated high school. i screenshotted the whole conversation so you couldn’t lie about what i said.
you blocked me. then you posted on your story about how i had blackmailed you, i had stabbed you in the back and made fun of you for having mental illnesses. you said i called you weak for having mental illnesses. that i was a bully, that you were taking a break from social media because you were done with my harassment and needed some time to think about things.
you didn’t take a break from social media. you unblocked me and requested to follow me again. i denied your request. one of my friends sent me the post you had made about me, along with screenshots of you texting her calling me a “brat”. you’re a big girl, you can say bitch. that’s what i said about you. i sent the friend the whole conversation. i sent that conversation to several of our friends, actually. everyone was shocked at how you twisted my words. when asked, you refused to show people our conversation to prove you weren’t lying about what i said. you refused, saying that when you blocked me our dm conversation had disappeared. it’s funny because when i blocked you back, i still had the whole thing.
we stopped talking, obviously. we still had mutual friends, so we were invited to some of the same events sometimes (only the big ones though. you didn’t make the “squad” pictures). you kept your head down. you didn’t look me in the eye. i could feel you staring at me when i wasn’t looking, but whenever i turned, your eyes whipped back down to your phone screen.
you were really bitter towards me. you talked tons of shit, but never to my face. the friends we shared were always closer to me than they were to you, so whenever you talked shit i’d hear about it. like one year, i was having a halloween party. one of our friends reported to me that you said you were gonna have an even better halloween party, and you were inviting 50 plus people. except nobody showed up to your party, and you ended up at my house at the end of the evening, sitting in the corner with your face illuminated by your phone screen. you should have just stayed home and saved yourself some embarrassment.
now, you’re leasing a tesla with money you don’t have for clout. you’re dating a boy who i’m 90% sure is a closeted gay (i hope this doesn’t come across as insensitive, my basis for this is that he wrote a song about being gay and later deleted the song off of his page). you’ve lost all of our mutual friends because they stopped believing your bullshit. you’re homophobic. racist. sexist. you probably unironically watch girl defined.
i mentioned at the beginning of this that i’m waiting for karma to hit you. but reading over everything i just wrote, it seems like it already has.
#depression#rant#anxiety#anger#tw#trigger warning#suicide#mental illness#mental health#i fucking hate this bitch#karma
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We all are.
http://dudeblade.tumblr.com/post/163386771476/i-am-so-tired
Yeah, we all are, you two. Well, not me. I find this kind of logical deconstruction fun.
I am so tired of being told that I have to be The Good Gay™ and take all the homophobia and harassment and beatings and everything with a smile on my face in order to be respected. That I have to be grateful when someone laughs in my face because they noticed me!
Okay, let me break this down quick:
1. Yeah, you do have to fight for it. Respect is not entitled to you, it is something you earn. You earn people’s respect by doing the right thing, by being cool headed and logical in debates, by enduring. You can’t just have respect handed to you: That devalues the concept. Yeah it sucks but welcome to life.
2. What homophobia? What Harassment? What beatings? I’ve never seen that around here and if it is as common as you say it is, then surely you can prove it. How do I not know you are just crying wolf for attention or trying to make yourself look like a victim to do whatever you want or maybe you were being a dick about something that is only tangently related to your sexuality at best? Without context and proof, why should anyone listen to you?
And if it’s not happening directly to you: Then don’t talk abut it as though it is personally happening to you. Especially if it’s not happening in your country since who knows what the other country is like and the way you talk groups all of humanity together which we are NOT a hivemind.
And what does being a “good gay” actually entail? because with you Invested, it could mean anything from “taking abuse” to “not screeching homophobia at everyone who doesn’t exactly agree with you.” Because I have seen you attack people for saying you are looking too deeply into stuff when you YOURSELF agreed you were looking too deeply or when a content creator just thinks shipping has gone out of hand (http://invested-in-your-future.tumblr.com/post/161686615570/wait-can-i-ask-what-the-issue-with-murderofbirds). And BTW: Being called a bigot in this world of ours is worse than being black or LGBT or whatever, especially since minorities are treated as not being ABLE to be bigots and that the “majority” should just take the abuse with a smile.
Because unless you are one of The Good Ones™ who always is nice no matter what kind of privileged bullshit Straights™ keep spewing, then you are literally a demon for daring to feel awful and to want to have equal rights.
Exactly that: equal rights. Equality. That just means that people should stop caring about you and treat your argument about your sexuality and race the same as everyone elses: Nonexistent. People stop giving a shit about what you are both ways and treat you as WHO you are. And considering this is the type of person who screams homophobia at everyone who disagrees with you (including members of your own community!)
And you talk about the “privileged bullshit Straights” when you used a similar statement to be sarcastic about the situation with the Good Gays, meaning that you are being malicious towards straight people the same way you perceive malice being directed at LGBT people, especially since the context of this post stells me you want every straight person to support whatever you do because you are LGBT: You are literally being a bigot the same way you say people are being towards you. A straight person calls you out for calling a series creator(s) homophobes for not pandering to you immediately and not supporting your attacks on them? Well, then they are a bigot and not being a Good Straight and is wrong.
You want equal rights? Okay then: You are a liar since you lied about JAC’s video being anti-LGBT when it was anti-shipping, you tried to portray Murderofbirds as being a homophobe when eh just dooesn’tw ant to get into the whole shipping debacle. (http://invested-in-your-future.tumblr.com/post/161686615570/wait-can-i-ask-what-the-issue-with-murderofbirds) as well as lied about them being involved in the BMBLB controversy. Which brings me to my next point: you act like BBLB is being homophobic when this exact same thing happened to Black Sun shippers so by your logic it would be equal because they did it to the biggest hetero and homo ships in the fandom. (http://invested-in-your-future.tumblr.com/post/162372941890/you-know-its-funny-people-keep-claiming-rt-is-so) You misinform people by saying the person is calling you a crazy feminist when they were just asking you why you have to act like everything is political and they don’t want politics in their media, which is good considering how blatant politics ruin media. You are a hypocrite in saying that there are homophobes in the fandom when the top ships in the fandom are LGBT (Bumblebee, Sea Monkeys, White Rose, Freezerburn, Lady bug, Monochrome, Nuts and Dolts) and you are seen as weird for not shipping LGBT, a big compliant in the fandom is no LGBT characters and the big names are LGBT. You act like you are entitled to representation and such even as you attack and insult whereas if someone criticizes you, they are labeled with one of the most dangerous labels in our society. None of this is because you are LGBT: I would say this all to a straight person. What is going is that you are just not a good person and it becomes associated with your sexuality because you force the two together.
Its kind of hilarious because it all stems from the very same heteronormative bullshit of “normalcy” - unless you conform to the privileged heteronormative society and say “thank you, kind sirs” for every hit, the Straights™ will go out of their way to shame you and claim you are not normal or you are dangerous.
Heterosexuality IS normal: it is literal the norm being about 75-80% of americans at most (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographics_of_sexual_orientation#United_States / http://www.alternet.org/sex-amp-relationships/19-percent-americans-dont-consider-themselves-heterosexual) and around 5% at least (http://www.cnsnews.com/news/article/us-adults-overestimate-homosexual-population-much-tenfold) fact is: being heterosexual is normal. Not being hetero isn’t bad: it just means you’re not normal. And that’s not a bad thing for sake.
And homosexuals DO have more rights in some aspects than heterosexuals: If a baker doesn’t want to bake a cake for a heterosexual couple, no one would bat an eye. But if not for a homosexual couple, a controversy is created. If a straight person is stereotyped, it’s fine but you can’t be stereotyping gay people. This comes right down to phobia: homophobia has a lot of stigma behind it whole many people refuse to acknowledge heterophobia. Straight people are not the only privileged people on the planet.
And guess what? You, Invested, ARE dangerous. Not to straight people but to your own brethren. You keep talking this way, acting this way, speaking this way and thinking this way soon enough people will give up on trying for representation and equality because they will think the LGBT community is unpleasable and just not even bother anymore. And at time, real bigots will come in and take that one step further and start taking your rights away again. until the world you are talking about actually happens. All because you keep asking to be treated specially and differently instead of equal.
Well you are goddamn right I am dangerous threat to society - I have ALL episodes of Orphan Black and L Word on DVD and I am not afraid to watch it!
... You’re an idiot. That has nothing to do with the topic at hand. And if you want t live in your little bubble for the rest of your life: Well, humanity won’t be missing much except for another bigot,
And now for...Dudeblade.
The “Normies” should be afraid of disgruntled minorities. They should be very afraid. Nothing is scarier than a person who wants equality, and has nothing to lose. This is why the Civil War happened people. The African Americans weren’t going get their equality by being The Good Black™ and taking all the shit that they took back then. Why should the LGBT+ Community be the same?
First off: These people are not like African americans back then: They have rights now. They have equality now. Now, they are asking to be treated like delicate angels who should have whatever they want. And they are going to fuck it all up for everyone. Stop defending these people, Dudeblade: you’re just making things worse.
And you’re right they didn’t get their equality in the Civil War. Ever heard of Jim Crow laws? Segregation? the Grandfather Clause? All happened after the Civil War and all limited the rights of africian americans. The time they got their rights was, shocker, the Civil Rights Movement in which they acted EXACTLY the way you mock. The only thing that extremeists got in that time were fear and their cultural counterparts: When the Black Panthers went to far, the KKK rose up as a result. Do you WANT an LGBT version of the KKK? because that is what will happen when things go too far.
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Every religious belief system...is a complete blasphemy...in the eyes of every other religious belief system...and all are a complete blasphemy in the eyes of rational unbelief...
For example, as outlined by Atheist Ireland ...
“Here are the 25 blasphemous quotes that we first published on 1 January 2010, along with the quotation that has caused the Irish police to investigate Stephen Fry.
1. Jesus Christ, when asked if he was the son of God, in Matthew 26:64: “Thou hast said: nevertheless I say unto you, Hereafter shall ye see the Son of man sitting on the right hand of power, and coming in the clouds of heaven.” According to the Christian Bible, the Jewish chief priests and elders and council deemed this statement by Jesus to be blasphemous, and they sentenced Jesus to death for saying it.
2. Jesus Christ, talking to Jews about their God, in John 8:44: “Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him.” This is one of several chapters in the Christian Bible that can give a scriptural foundation to Christian anti-Semitism. The first part of John 8, the story of “whoever is without sin cast the first stone”, was not in the original version, but was added centuries later. The original John 8 is a debate between Jesus and some Jews. In brief, Jesus calls the Jews who disbelieve him sons of the Devil, the Jews try to stone him, and Jesus runs away and hides.
3. Muhammad, quoted in Hadith of Bukhari, Vol 1 Book 8 Hadith 427: “May Allah curse the Jews and Christians for they built the places of worship at the graves of their prophets.” This quote is attributed to Muhammad on his death-bed as a warning to Muslims not to copy this practice of the Jews and Christians. It is one of several passages in the Koran and in Hadith that can give a scriptural foundation to Islamic anti-Semitism, including the assertion in Sura 5:60 that Allah cursed Jews and turned some of them into apes and swine.
4. Mark Twain, describing the Christian Bible in Letters from the Earth, 1909: “Also it has another name – The Word of God. For the Christian thinks every word of it was dictated by God. It is full of interest. It has noble poetry in it; and some clever fables; and some blood-drenched history; and some good morals; and a wealth of obscenity; and upwards of a thousand lies… But you notice that when the Lord God of Heaven and Earth, adored Father of Man, goes to war, there is no limit. He is totally without mercy — he, who is called the Fountain of Mercy. He slays, slays, slays! All the men, all the beasts, all the boys, all the babies; also all the women and all the girls, except those that have not been deflowered. He makes no distinction between innocent and guilty… What the insane Father required was blood and misery; he was indifferent as to who furnished it.” Twain’s book was published posthumously in 1939. His daughter, Clara Clemens, at first objected to it being published, but later changed her mind in 1960 when she believed that public opinion had grown more tolerant of the expression of such ideas. That was half a century before Fianna Fail and the Green Party imposed a new blasphemy law on the people of Ireland.
5. Tom Lehrer, The Vatican Rag, 1963: “Get in line in that processional, step into that small confessional. There, the guy who’s got religion’ll tell you if your sin’s original. If it is, try playing it safer, drink the wine and chew the wafer. Two, four, six, eight, time to transubstantiate!”
6. Randy Newman, God’s Song, 1972: “And the Lord said: I burn down your cities – how blind you must be. I take from you your children, and you say how blessed are we. You all must be crazy to put your faith in me. That’s why I love mankind.”
7. James Kirkup, The Love That Dares to Speak its Name, 1976: “While they prepared the tomb I kept guard over him. His mother and the Magdalen had gone to fetch clean linen to shroud his nakedness. I was alone with him… I laid my lips around the tip of that great cock, the instrument of our salvation, our eternal joy. The shaft, still throbbed, anointed with death’s final ejaculation.” This extract is from a poem that led to the last successful blasphemy prosecution in Britain, when Denis Lemon was given a suspended prison sentence after he published it in the now-defunct magazine Gay News. In 2002, a public reading of the poem, on the steps of St. Martin-in-the-Fields church in Trafalgar Square, failed to lead to any prosecution. In 2008, the British Parliament abolished the common law offences of blasphemy and blasphemous libel.
8. Matthias, son of Deuteronomy of Gath, in Monty Python’s Life of Brian, 1979: “Look, I had a lovely supper, and all I said to my wife was that piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah.”
9. Rev Ian Paisley MEP to the Pope in the European Parliament, 1988: “I denounce you as the Antichrist.” Paisley’s website describes the Antichrist as being “a liar, the true son of the father of lies, the original liar from the beginning… he will imitate Christ, a diabolical imitation, Satan transformed into an angel of light, which will deceive the world.”
10. Conor Cruise O’Brien, 1989: “In the last century the Arab thinker Jamal al-Afghani wrote: ‘Every Muslim is sick and his only remedy is in the Koran.’ Unfortunately the sickness gets worse the more the remedy is taken.”
11. Frank Zappa, 1989: “If you want to get together in any exclusive situation and have people love you, fine – but to hang all this desperate sociology on the idea of The Cloud-Guy who has The Big Book, who knows if you’ve been bad or good – and cares about any of it – to hang it all on that, folks, is the chimpanzee part of the brain working.”
12. Salman Rushdie, 1990: “The idea of the sacred is quite simply one of the most conservative notions in any culture, because it seeks to turn other ideas – uncertainty, progress, change – into crimes.” In 1989, Ayatollah Khomeini of Iran issued a fatwa ordering Muslims to kill Rushdie because of blasphemous passages in Rushdie’s novel The Satanic Verses.
13. Bjork, 1995: “I do not believe in religion, but if I had to choose one it would be Buddhism. It seems more livable, closer to men… I’ve been reading about reincarnation, and the Buddhists say we come back as animals and they refer to them as lesser beings. Well, animals aren’t lesser beings, they’re just like us. So I say fuck the Buddhists.”
14. Amanda Donohoe on her role in the Ken Russell movie Lair of the White Worm, 1995: “Spitting on Christ was a great deal of fun. I can’t embrace a male god who has persecuted female sexuality throughout the ages, and that persecution still goes on today all over the world.”
15. George Carlin, 1999: “Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there’s an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever ’til the end of time! But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He’s all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can’t handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit!”
16. Paul Woodfull as Ding Dong Denny O’Reilly, The Ballad of Jaysus Christ, 2000: “He said me ma’s a virgin and sure no one disagreed, Cause they knew a lad who walks on water’s handy with his feet… Jaysus oh Jaysus, as cool as bleedin’ ice, With all the scrubbers in Israel he could not be enticed, Jaysus oh Jaysus, it’s funny you never rode, Cause it’s you I do be shoutin’ for each time I shoot me load.”
17. Jesus Christ, in Jerry Springer The Opera, 2003: “Actually, I’m a bit gay.” In 2005, the Christian Institute tried to bring a prosecution against the BBC for screening Jerry Springer the Opera, but the UK courts refused to issue a summons.
18. Tim Minchin, Ten-foot Cock and a Few Hundred Virgins, 2005: “So you’re gonna live in paradise, With a ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins, So you’re gonna sacrifice your life, For a shot at the greener grass, And when the Lord comes down with his shiny rod of judgment, He’s gonna kick my heathen ass.”
19. Richard Dawkins in The God Delusion, 2006: “The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully.” In 2007 Turkish publisher Erol Karaaslan was charged with the crime of insulting believers for publishing a Turkish translation of The God Delusion. He was acquitted in 2008, but another charge was brought in 2009. Karaaslan told the court that “it is a right to criticise religions and beliefs as part of the freedom of thought and expression.”
20. Pope Benedict XVI quoting a 14th century Byzantine emperor, 2006: “Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached.” This statement has already led to both outrage and condemnation of the outrage. The Organisation of the Islamic Conference, the world’s largest Muslim body, said it was a “character assassination of the prophet Muhammad”. The Malaysian Prime Minister said that “the Pope must not take lightly the spread of outrage that has been created.” Pakistan’s foreign Ministry spokesperson said that “anyone who describes Islam as a religion as intolerant encourages violence”. The European Commission said that “reactions which are disproportionate and which are tantamount to rejecting freedom of speech are unacceptable.”
21. Christopher Hitchens in God is not Great, 2007: “There is some question as to whether Islam is a separate religion at all… Islam when examined is not much more than a rather obvious and ill-arranged set of plagiarisms, helping itself from earlier books and traditions as occasion appeared to require… It makes immense claims for itself, invokes prostrate submission or ‘surrender’ as a maxim to its adherents, and demands deference and respect from nonbelievers into the bargain. There is nothing—absolutely nothing—in its teachings that can even begin to justify such arrogance and presumption.”
22. Ian O’Doherty, 2009: “(If defamation of religion was illegal) it would be a crime for me to say that the notion of transubstantiation is so ridiculous that even a small child should be able to see the insanity and utter physical impossibility of a piece of bread and some wine somehow taking on corporeal form. It would be a crime for me to say that Islam is a backward desert superstition that has no place in modern, enlightened Europe and it would be a crime to point out that Jewish settlers in Israel who believe they have a God given right to take the land are, frankly, mad. All the above assertions will, no doubt, offend someone or other.”
23. Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O’Connor, 2009: “Whether a person is atheist or any other, there is in fact in my view something not totally human if they leave out the transcendent… we call it God… I think that if you leave that out you are not fully human.” Because atheism is not a religion, the Irish blasphemy law does not protect atheists from abusive and insulting statements about their fundamental beliefs. While atheists are not seeking such protection, we include the statement here to point out that it is discriminatory that this law does not hold all citizens equal.
24. Dermot Ahern, Irish Minister for Justice, introducing his blasphemy law at an Oireachtas Justice Committee meeting, 2009, and referring to comments made about him personally: “They are blasphemous.” Deputy Pat Rabbitte replied: “Given the Minister’s self-image, it could very well be that we are blaspheming,” and Minister Ahern replied: “Deputy Rabbitte says that I am close to the baby Jesus, I am so pure.” So here we have an Irish Justice Minister joking about himself being blasphemed, at a parliamentary Justice Committee discussing his own blasphemy law, that could make his own jokes illegal.
25. As a bonus, Micheal Martin, Irish Minister for Foreign Affairs, opposing attempts by Islamic States to make defamation of religion a crime at UN level, 2009: “We believe that the concept of defamation of religion is not consistent with the promotion and protection of human rights. It can be used to justify arbitrary limitations on, or the denial of, freedom of expression. Indeed, Ireland considers that freedom of expression is a key and inherent element in the manifestation of freedom of thought and conscience and as such is complementary to freedom of religion or belief.” Just months after Minister Martin made this comment, his colleague Dermot Ahern introduced Ireland’s new blasphemy law.
26. Finally, here is the quote that has caused the Irish police to investigate Stephen Fry for blasphemy. Asked by Gay Byrne on RTE what he would say if he was confronted by God, Fry replied: “How dare you create a world in which there is such misery that is not our fault. It’s not right. It’s utterly, utterly evil. Why should I respect a capricious, mean-minded, stupid God who creates a world which is so full of injustice and pain?” Questioned on how he would react if he was locked outside the pearly gates, he responded: “I would say, ‘Bone cancer in children? What’s that about?’ Because the God who created this universe, if it was created by God, is quite clearly a maniac, utter maniac. Totally selfish. We have to spend our life on our knees thanking him? What kind of God would do that?””
https://atheist.ie/2017/05/25-blasphemous-quotes-in-solidarity-with-stephen-fry/
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Personal research.
The effect of insensitive language on Instagram.
Group dynamics in real life.
Language and communication is a big aspect on the social media platform Instagram. There is a lot of controversy with regards to control. Many hateful comments slip through but there is also difficulty with expressing yourself. Since the social media platform is so big, there is a bigger area to reach. Most people do not think about this when they are posting something. Especially for celebrities and A-listers, the comments under a picture can be extreme. Many people respond to not only the picture but also comments that other people have made, often resulting in hateful or insensitive language. Some people say that everyone is too sensitive and can’t handle a joke or that women should accept jokes and not be so feminist.
A group may disagree within itself as to what is acceptable and what is not. Many seemingly inoffensive terms develop negative meanings over time and become dated or go out of style as awareness changes. A "within the group" rule often applies, which allows a member of a group to use terms freely that would be considered offensive if used by a non-member of the group.
What is considered acceptable shifts constantly as people become more aware of language and its power. The rapid changes of the last few decades have left many people puzzled and afraid of unintentionally insulting someone. At the same time, these changes have angered others, who criticize what they see as extremes of ‘political correctness’ in rules that alter language to the point of confusing, even destroying, its meaning. The neglect of traditional usages has also upset many people. It is true that some are more extreme attempts to avoid offending language. It is also true that heightened sensitivity in language is a statement of respect, implies accuracy of thought, and is a positive move toward correcting the unequal social status between one group and another.
What are examples of insensitive language on Instagram?
Sexism
Sexism is the most difficult subject to avoid, in part because of the agreement of using man or men and he or his to refer to people of either sex. Other, more disrespectful principles include giving descriptions of women in terms of age and appearance while describing men in terms of accomplishment.
Sexual Orientation
The term homosexual to describe a man or woman is increasingly replaced by the terms gay for men and lesbian for women. Homosexual as a noun is sometimes used only in reference to a male. Among homosexuals, certain terms (such as queer and dyke) that are usually considered offensive have been gaining currency in recent years. However, it is still prudent to avoid these terms in standard contexts.
Avoiding Depersonalization of Persons with Disabilities or Illnesses Terminology that emphasizes the person rather than the disability is generally preferred. Handicap is used to refer to the environmental barrier that affects the person. (Stairs handicap a person who uses a wheelchair.) While words such as crazy, demented, and insane are used in facetious or informal contexts, these terms are not used to describe people with clinical diagnoses of mental illness. The synonyms argued, differently abled, and special are preferred by some people, but are often ridiculed and are best avoided.
What is insensitive language?
Language isn’t correct or incorrect, it’s a range from violent to freedom. Language is not about being correct or avoiding offense. It’s about creating the opportunity for perspectives that have historically been silenced to shine. It’s about empowerment, and agency, and collective care. It’s about liberation.
The idea that avoiding “offending” people is the primary goal of sensitive language is inherently minimizing—it automatically calls up the idea that being offended is a result of being either overcritical or oversensitive, nothing more. It also squarely puts the burden of how language is experienced on the people who are hearing or reading it. It says that if you are offended by particular language, it’s your fault, not the speaker or author’s.
Focusing on offense does not allow for the possibility that a person could be negatively impacted by careless or hostile language. The worst thing they can experience is being offended. Everything about this line of reasoning is rude in nature. The solution for “being offended” is not for responsibility to be taken by the person who caused the offense, it’s for the listening or reader to simply stop being offended: “toughen up,” recognize that no offense was intended, “grow up.” Whenever someone is called out for using sexist language, the first line of defense is always “but it was just a joke”.
So if someone asks two women, “So, who’s the man in your relationship?” those words build on a century of oppressive language that has kept non-heterosexual people downgraded. The two women might react with anger, frustration, tears or silence. Are they offended? Sure, but that’s not the point. The point is they’ve been hurt, and their pain has deep roots.
Perhaps the person didn’t mean to hurt anyone. After all, many people who ask that question are trying to be insulting, but many others are genuinely curious and have no idea how gender roles play out in same-sex relationships.
With regards to insensitive language, I have had many experiences. I often feel offended myself, I am a very sensitive person and can be offended really easily. Not with regards to sexism but mostly with the way that a person talks to me. Their words or sentences may not be meant insensitive but to me it can sound harsh or direct. If someone answers my question in a harsh matter, I can wonder about this all day and try to figure out the reason for this. With this being said, I am also a person that regularly makes mistakes and usually accidently hurt someone with my remarks. If I make a joke that is not suitable or a question that is misplaces, I definitely get a offended reaction back. This is why I know that I think faster than that I speak. My mind has already made a remark and said it while afterwards I am shocked myself.
Why are these comments even made?
Given so many people loudly object to offensive language, why do people continue to speak this way?
There is a research a women undertook with her colleague:
’’In a study I undertook with a colleague, we asked men to select a joke from a series of pairs that included a clearly sexist joke (such as, “What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side”) and a joke that was not specifically offensive to women (such as, “Why don’t oysters give to charity? Because they’re shellfish”).
The male participants believe they were interacting over a computer with two other students, one male and one female. In reality, the students they were interacting with were computer-generated, and we altered the reactions these fake peers had to the sexist jokes to see if this influenced how many sexist jokes the participants would choose to send.
The male participants were not influenced by whether or not a woman objected to sexist jokes. They were, however, highly sensitive to how they thought another man would react to them, reducing their use of sexist jokes if they thought a man would be object.
What these results show is these jokes appear to have a “male bonding” function – that, primarily, men make such jokes typically to impress other men. Other research has suggested a similar function for homophobic slurs.
Most likely, making jokes about women or using homophobic slurs work to enhance (straight) male bonding because women and gay men represent the “other”; they are what social psychologists refer to as “out-groups” relative to a heterosexual male “in-group”.’’
Result:
These results surprised me very much actually. I did think that people are ‘followers’ and tend to follow up on someone’s opinion even when they think differently, but I did not think of insensitive language as a bonding tool. I usually think of insensitive language as a way of seeking attention. This research defines my opinion even more.
The effect of insensitive language on Instagram.
Photo-based activity on Instagram has been found as contributing to body image concerns. There are many studies that investigate the effect of number of likes accompanying Instagram images on women's own body dissatisfaction.
’’Participants in a recent studies were 220 female undergraduate students who were randomly assigned to view a set of the thin ideal or average images paired with a low or high number of likes presented in an Instagram frame. Results showed that exposure to thin-ideal images led to greater body and facial dissatisfaction than average images. While the number of likes had no effect on body dissatisfaction or appearance comparison, it had a positive effect on facial dissatisfaction. These effects were not moderated by Instagram’s involvement, but greater investment in Instagram’s likes was associated with more appearance comparison and facial dissatisfaction. The results demonstrate how the outstandingly social aspects of social media such as likes can affect someone’s body image.’’
Among young people, the rates of anxiety and depression have escalated rapidly over the past 25 years, increasing by 70 percent. Researchers have reason to believe social media has played a part in this increase. Heavy social media users have been found to report poor mental health. While all social networks appear to have a negative impact on users’ body image, body image issues are particularly frequent on Instagram, which is said to be used mainly by women and has a younger age demographic, 90 percent of Instagram users are under 35. Photos uploaded to Instagram present an unrealistic perfect image, as countless photos are thoroughly chosen and photoshopped to hide any flaws.
This is not only with regards to only likes or only women. Positive appearance comments on Instagram photos lead to greater body dissatisfaction. These comments can negatively impact body image and sleep, increases bullying, “FOMO” (fear of missing out), and leads to greater feelings of anxiety, depression, and loneliness. The positive effects of Instagram can be self-expression, self-identity, community building, and emotional support. Although many people love the app and see no harm. There is a very big hidden world. Celebrities or influencers are sharing their opinion more then ever. Many feel depressed, lonely or insecure. Their life is not as picture perfect as it seems to be. They feel left out (FOMO) when they cannot attend a party and many teenagers relate to this. Though there's nothing essentially dangerous about Instagram, the main scares are mean behavior among peers, inappropriate photos or videos that can hurt a teen's reputation or attract the wrong kind of attention, overuse, and of course, privacy.
I notice this behavior and actually relate to it myself. I, fortunately, do not receive rude or insensitive comments but I do feel miserable or lonely more often when I use Instagram.
Thankfully now Instagram users can control who can comment on their photos and videos. They can choose to: allow comments from everyone, people they follow and those people’s followers, just the people they follow, or their followers. Instagram users can also remove comments entirely from their posts. Instagram also has controls that help you manage the content you see and determine when comments are offensive or intended to bully or harass. There are filters that automatically remove offensive words and phrases and bullying comments.
Sources:
https://www.semanticscholar.org/paper/The-Effect-of-Instagram-on-Self-Esteem-and-Life-Dion/5b94ce76bd38768e5d406faca4c16ae34ab5dd49
https://www.hffmcsd.org/site/handlers/filedownload.ashx?moduleinstanceid=211&dataid=868&FileName=avoiding%20insensitive%20and%20offensive%20language1.pdf
https://radicalcopyeditor.com/2016/10/24/part-5-put-political-correctness-back-where-it-belongs/
https://theconversation.com/its-just-a-joke-the-subtle-effects-of-offensive-language-62440
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/326580674_The_effect_of_Instagram_likes_on_women's_social_comparison_and_body_dissatisfaction
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1740144518301360
https://www.psychalive.org/worst-mental-health-instagram-facebook-youtube/
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