#'i think everyone would be happier if we didn't try to force a relationship. let's go our separate ways

[galmiahthepigeon]

It's crazy how my m*m will be like "why don't you tell me more things why won't you share your internal life with me" and then every time I actually decide to tell her something important she turns the conversation into a minefield and a two-hour lecture on how I'm bad at relationships. Very fun and cool 👍

[gojokive]

now we are one, let me love you ↳ g. satoru x g. suguru, g. satoru x reader ♡ angst, fluff ↳ tw: death, mention of a afterlife ♡ self-indulgent (I'm still trying to cope) ↳ next part ❣ Satoru goes north.

just thinking about the moment Satoru releases his final breath as his soul lets go. he can finally be at peace because he knows he's about to see you and suguru soon. he can't say that he hasn't braced himself for this moment because he has. it makes him wonder what his afterlife will be like.

will you be waiting? will it be suguru? maybe both?

regardless, he's going to make up for lost time. hold you like he's afraid he's going to lose you again. kiss you like he's missed you because he has. so fucking much. the last thought on his mind causing a smile to gradually grow as a single tear falls from his eyes.

he's going to be able to be happy again.

no sorcery, no saving others, no more loneliness. no more sleepless nights, no more nightmares.

you have more time to be able to be together.

he's always regretted the way things ended with you and how he wasn't able to save suguru from spiraling into madness. hated how he wasn't able to protect you from your untimely demise after your breakup. how his last words to suguru weren't what he truly wanted them to be.

how he wasn't able to protect the both of you from yourselves.

after losing both of you he vowed to never love again because he knew he would never feel the same way he felt for the two of you, for anyone else.

"welcome home, Satoru.”

satoru blinks, his heart doing leaps and bounds as he stands in front of the two people he fell in love with at different points in his life. his bottom lip wobbles the second he takes in your warm smile that makes your eyes crease, arms wide open for him to run into. he had hoped he would be able to see the both of you but he didn't expect the both of you to be waiting for him together. he was sure he would have to search for at least one of you but he's glad. it makes him happier to know that, even in death, you both are willing to stick by his side.

willing to be with him.

willing to still love him.

"I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault, satoru." Your voice is gentle but firm, knowing (and hating) that he blamed himself for your death. Honestly, You had no business going on missions when your head and heart weren't in the right place. Losing your best friend, Kento, during the Shibuya incident had you spiraling but also, feeling like you were losing your grip on your life and relationship was the nail in the coffin. Your breakup took a harder toll on you mentally and everyone could see it. Yaga tried to stop you but you were too hard-headed to listen to reason. Even the higher-ups knew all of this and they still sent you to your death. If anyone was to blame, it would be them.

satoru remembers seeing your lifeless body on the table like countless others, only breaking away when shoko finally covered your corpse. feeling the curse of loving someone all over again. he went through with suguru and now you were an added casualty. you weren't supposed to be there and Satoru felt if you hadn't agreed to end things, you would have still been alive.

"You can't blame yourself for our mistakes. I chose my path, satoru." suguru says, placing a soft kiss on top of his forehead with a softer smile before pulling away. "I can't change what I've done but I've accepted it."

his mind reels remembering how he was forced to end suguru's reign of terror.

"I forgive you. You were doing what was right." the tears streamed down satoru's face as he listened to the both of you. his heart breaking for the third time as he releases a sob, feeling the way you're reaching up to rub the back of his undercut. he relaxes as much as he can but you know it's going to take some time for him to truly be okay.

"I've missed you both so much."

"Well, now we have all the time in the world," You chuckle, letting satoru step away to try to get his bearings.

"an eternity to make things right."

you both hold out your hands as he takes one of yours and one of suguru's. the tranquility washes over him in waves because he can't believe this is his afterlife, this is his serendipity. surrounded by snowfall and sweet flowers blooming around you as you lead him to his safe space.

his haven.

© GOJOLATTE 2024 ➳ ALL RIGHTS RESERVED  PLEASE DO NOT Copy, Translate, Re-Upload, or Steal ANY of my work. Thank You, Beautiful People!

[ohmycale]

I guess I am alive again...

I have not been in the fandom for quite some time due to life and many things happening in real life. Somebody in real life asked to read and comment on a post defending Deruth. It's a good read and I agree on most of it. Which even surprising that I'm writing this. I hope I would not offend anyone if I would just highlight some of the things I read that make me think. A bit of a long post incoming

I agree that he's an okay parent...for any other child and any other time except during Jour's death. But since ogCale was a neglected child by most adults around him (during and after this time), especially his parents, I would beg to differ. And here I am thinking that parents try their best even at their worst times. Tbh, the post feels like an excuse Deruth's neglect like many posts that I have read. Just another one who handwave neglect and worse, treat it as something so trivial. Neglect is treated as something so minor that should be waived by time or force. Assuming that we're not holding Deruth on a pedestal, why is an apology for his failings such a bad thing to do, fathom or even ask for?

Father and child were both grieving but it seems that it was only Deruth's grief that mattered. Nobody gave a shit for the child who had his life upside down from losing his mother, ignored by his father, and got a new family that he was (for intents and purposes at that time) didn't even ask for. Because Deruth moved on, everyone, especially Cale, has to. Because of a new family, og!cale never said anything coz he'd probably be answered by 'Don't you want your father (Deruth) to be happy?' (classic line for stepkids) If that's the feedback, why bother opening up and saying something? Og!Cale will be the bad guy for expressing such thoughts and feelings. In real life blended families, it's the parents who facilitate everything including communication. It's the adults who should be guiding the children and have control of the situation. Also, let's not forget that it was Deruth who distanced himself from og!Cale first and never bothered to patch their relationship and issues even to the point that og!cale changed a lot aka Roksu appeared.

I understand that people are not at their best selves when grieving. I was the same. But I am not an adult nor a parent. I didn't have a child that I had to care for or be responsible for. It might have been hard, but it would not sit on my conscience to burden a kid with my messy emotions or pull away. Because pulling away from a person who thought they were loved by you leads them to think that they are at fault. At the very least, og!cale deserved a conversation about his mother's passing and his father's actions at that time.

I don't care about the worst father list. As mentioned before, Deruth only gets the benefit of the doubt already because he is kind and trying. Trying but didn’t succeed. For me, his trying is not for readers to judge, His effort should only matter to og!cale and whether it is enough to absolve Deruth for his failings.

I agree that both Deruth and og!cale are bad at communicating. Deruth did set the precedent of not communicating and pulling away.

The first few chapters show that he cares for his son in his way. Yeah, but he's not reaching his son, does he? They barely had a functioning relationship and we're supposed to congratulate him? As a reader, we get it that he cares for his son. But if we ask Deruth, should he be happier that he’s winning over strangers rather than the person he's trying to care for? And if Deruth is on speaking terms with og!Cale to his son, it’s not gonna be that hard to bring out a topic or issues.

Not touching the Violan bit because she is his stepmother (and stepfamilies are so complex and hard) and to be honest, a better adult than her husband,

8. You can also argue that Deruth didn't try hard enough. He does try. He's not just good efficient as exemplified by the post. He doesn't speak about the things that matter to them both but does the indirect and inefficient ways. He shouldn't be surprised if keeps trying bad ways to reconcile and act surprised when it fails.

9. So for parents to try harder doesn't usually end up with a heart-to-heart talk unless the other wants to talk. It's a risk that a parent has to take - either grab them by the horns or be miserable trying to communicate via the mind. And suffer the odds for the risk.

Re Basen and Lily. I am ambivalent about them. It’s not because they were kids or they did something bad to og!cale. For some people, especially the people who were left by their parents to have a do-over family, they are a symbol. I mean, sans og!Cale, Deruth is winning. He has a new family – a wife that shares his burden, a (spare) son for the county, a daughter that he might have wished for. There are real fathers and mothers who abandon their original families/children because THEY CAN. Is it projecting? Absolutely effing lutely. Is it reasonable enough to expect? Yes. Because Deruth is a flawed human being who already showed that he CAN abandon og!Cale if he so wished. And nobody can stop or even disapprove of him because of his status and position. It is good that Deruth in the story defies this but he’s still doing the BARE MINIMUM.

Overall, whether Deruth is a bad father will be a recurring conversation topic for the fandom. There are many viewpoints but I always always side with the views most relevant and applicable to og!Cale even it might be biased. If og!Cale is here with us, I am sure he will be more than happy to tell us what he thinks.

But we don’t. Any opinion, even the scathing and unpopular ones, deserves merit. It’s good that fandom is not a monolith especially in this because this topic and og!cale’s experiences are so relatable.

Here’s a summary of my stand

Being a good parent to Basen and Lily doesn’t mean he was a good father to og!Cale even if og!Cale does love him

Og!Cale doesn’t need to forgive or forget what Deruth did in the worst time of their lives because he loves him

Deruth is afraid, I get that. But if he remains afraid, his hope for reconciliation isn’t gonna pan out as he hopes to.

Deruth needs to accept that there is a chance it is too late.

Deruth needs to accept consequences for the negative things he gave to og!cale, unintentional or not. Even if og!Cale understands why he did what he did.

Did I just log into my dormant account to post this? Yes.

Is this longer than I intended? Also, yes.

Are my fanfic bunnies dead yet? Maybe.

Hope somebody enjoys this one.

[malt-rants-and-stuff]

Hiii malt :3 ask game time… thoughts on shirashiro (shirahama tashiro) GO! And any other shirahama ships you feel strongly about :3

SUNNYYYYYY HIIII okay okay i feel like we all know i have unending thoughts and ideas about shirahama kyouji and his relationships right this is common knowledge now. shirashiro is so... i have feelings about them

in canon context. mmm i love them but i cannot see it but also it does definitely compel me. ive entertained the thought of them before but for me it just comes down to them being more fun to think of as platonic. howeverrr, if they were to be together or at least if they were to like each other? well then there would be thoughts I could have.

like, say you have this friend. and for the purpose of this thought bubble we will say that this friend is named something that starts with a T. so say you have this friend and youve known each other since middle school. you are both close and arent, best friends yet acquaintances, you know what i mean.

say this friend who's name ends in ashiro goes to the same high school as you and you drift apart for a little bit. he has his friends and you're content just existing. but then one day you suddenly find yourself hanging out with them and things spiral. say you find yourself liking his friends, opening up to them in the strange trying-to-be uncommitted way that you do. say your friend invites you to join clubs with him and you are there to watch him amble around through life trying to find a Something for himself. say you watch him and you realize just how well you know him. accidentally of course. you'd never go out of your way to know someone like that who isn't a girl you're trying to date. obviously. but you find yourself recognizing what he's doing and why he does it and you try to help but there arent really words to say about this sort of thing.

say you think about the high school experience, growing and growing and somehow changing in ways you didn't expect. say your friend joins a certain club and you arent too into it but you come along just to see how things are. and while youre there you see your friend, who you have know for a good amount of time, act in a way you haven't really seen before. and you know that to anyone else it wouldn't be too out of the ordinary and to be honest its not that big of a deal but you still find yourself noticing it anyways. and you both want to quit that same club. for the same reasons (for sure, definitely) and you get to quit and leave and he's still there and he stays and it sticks to you.

i was going a lot of places with this but halfway though i went outside and became normal again and also kinda lost my train of thought so forgive me im just gonna explain where i was going with this in a not neurotic way (lies)

so shirahama. that guy. i like to think he would have a crush on tashiro in middle school that you can only have on your best friend. i think he would be seeing everyone around them dating and falling in love and go "i want that. how do i get that?" and then find himself falling for tashiro. i think tashiro has no thoughts about dating shirahama until second year (and give me a moment on that one.) and i think that shirahama forces himself to move on from his crush to "grow up" so to speak in between middle and high school. i think that even then he never lets himself forget about it and it haunts him and he can never get a date because he wants it to keep haunting him. shirashiro join the ping-pong club, two go in one comes out. absolute bloodbath. and in the end shirahama gets what he wanted. his friend is somehow a lot happier in his weird little Club with his weird little Thing that he has with the president ("previous president!" shirahama gives him a look that says the distinction doesn't really matter to him but the look thrown back makes him realize it should) and vice president. and you see now here is where i come back to that part about second year.

because. the thing is. well. tashiro does think about shirahama. maybe not in the same way all the time or as often or as deeply. but he does. he thinks about everything and everyone, really, so it shouldn't really stand out so much but it does. second year comes and relationships bloom (or he thinks they do) and festivals are had and its... fine. and then it just sort of happens. like it jumps into him mind "oh wouldn't that be something." and he acts like it wouldn't be and that he never thinks about it again but he does and its hilarious. a grand old comedy show. shirahama walks out stage left and tashiro has forgotten where he was supposed to stand. it can never happen at the right time and their feelings chase on the tails of one another and its just a fun time. tashiro kind-of-sort-of-not-really gets over it by third year but then oops, what's this, he's grown taller and shirahama cant help but notice the little ways tashiro has changed since way back when and now he's back in the pit. cue laugh track.

and yeah that's kinda how they are in my mind. but now if you want to get into other shirahama ships... well hold on i will continue in another reblog

[yomiurinikei]

You know which character I want to send for meme but yeah it is obvious can I get Kinji in that meme template?

ah yes, so obvious, we all know ur favorite character is kinji hakar1 (dont wanna invade tags akdsjksd), who everyone associates u with, and totally isn't just the first fictional kinji that popped up when i googled the name.

my identity hc for them

GAY gay homosexual gay. sorry kiyoka calling him out just. i cant view him as anything else. i do think there's canonical backing for this, not specifically him being exclusively into guys, but for him liking guys in general, i think its canon supported. i also Just Like it.

i think he's like. amab, but i think he just doesnt really Get It/feel any particular way- he's comfortable with how he presents and is perceived the way he is, and doesn't really feel a desire to change! he's content, and i don't think he'd be any happier if he changed how he performs gender. and seeing as i want this boy to do some soul searching and examine his relationship with faith, ill let him have a constant in his life. just this once

Thoughts on their home life/family

aaaaa.... i think like. mentioned this in the hcs i wrote for him recently, but i think his dad (the bishop) was a genuinely good person, and a good dad! i just think like..... it would've been cool if after being adopted and coming to italy, he had more than one role model and like. god. i dunno i think that mayyyybe having the person who chose him, who chose to take care of him, be a well-respected bishop who wound up living a secular life and etc etc mightve maybe impacted kinjis path in life. i don't think he was forced into anything, but i do wonder the degree to which kinjis faith started as a way of feeling connected to his dad and feeling that he was part of a community.

anyways though. i think he was a happy child, well cared for, etc. but i feel like maybe someone should have forced him to go outside and make friends, or stopped to question why he might be throwing himself into religious studies so much, or, after all that. maybe. i dont know. NOT SENT HIM TO JAPAN BY HIMSELF AS A MIDDLE SCHOOLER? ??????

its kinda a miracle hes as stable as he is. and while i don't think he's... literally traumatized, i feel like there was some side effects of his childhood past "oh he doesn't Understand friends". honestly a vv interesting example of how childhood and environment shapes people.

anyways though. i wouldn't be surprised if his focus on orphanages/caring for kids stemmed from him being a like... pre-teen/younger, and his brain just naturally orienting towards "wanna be with peers, wanna play, wanna form social bonds", but he had already placed himself in the role of an adult, and so he took on the same place as the priests he was trying to emulate. its kinda silly why did literally everyone go like. well if everyone else is treating him as an adult i guess i will too... kinji is the poster child for "was called mature as a kid"

How i feel about their canonical writing/handling

mmm... its objectively Good. i just feel like.... kinji kinda falls into the issue of so many characters to explore, so little time? like. we don't really get to see a whole lot of the depth that i see (linuj may not get him the way i do), and it makes sense, but it still kinda sucks... it'd be nice if he survived and made it to the end (and then held hands with tsurugi i mean-) buuut. i understand why he didn't. :(

tho one thing i wanna note is. linuj originally intended for his ch3 meltdown to be his true personality of sorts. and was gonna have his motivation just be that he liked murder. and he acknowledges that how he acts in ch3 isn't kinjis normal personality, and that he likes having a actual motive better than his old plan for kinji. but i feeeel like linujs old plan kinda pokes through at times with how kinji is handled? specifically like.. tsurugis response of "woah i didnt know a priest would act like that"- tbf, that does reflect on tsurugis black and white thinking and how he struggles to remedy his values. but also it just kinda feels like linuj is still treating it as a shock value twist that kinji is Just Like That, despite textually saying otherwise. that kinda sucks

The one thing i’d want to make canon about them

im not fucking joking im trying to think of something else. i would like canon gay kinji. again we have NO TIME FOR THIS. but if he had survived, i think that could be something nice to write in + subtextually show. i wont ask for the complete and utter tone shifts that would have to happen for more than subtext to be real. but. i think it'd be a good thing to do w/kinji if he had more time with us.

also i think it'd be neat to hear more about kinjis bio parents, just because im curious? but ya know. i kinda dont trust linuj and can just be weird about why he still uses uehara as his family name in my head, and have that be canon to me, instead of having to ignore linuj, so.. im content

My number one favorite ship for them

tsuhara. nobody look at me.... i promise i will post my thoughts on them one day. currently im trying to handle all myyy.. non-spring quarter graduation requirements (aka, some stuff my hs wants me to get done other than the classes im taking this quarter), so thats kinda my goal for april. and then may will have midterms and then ill be working on finals ughhhh... so im not really dedicating time to it. but its like... the only canon sdra fan content im working on rn? its. its in the works and its on my schedule and it wont take long. its just a matter of when i can get around to it, so i wanna explain why im not prioritizing it akjdjskjdjsdk.

anyways. im so not normal about them and ive been not normal about them for the past ninety three years. my beloved boys with their moral beliefs and their systems of justifying their actions and and and. aaaaaa.....

…Now everyone else i ship with them

uhhhhhhm. i think his ftes were cute? hm. i think there's stuff i objectively like, like... i think it'd be nice for him and would be cute. but there's nothing im really Passionate about/see myself spinning around in my head. for ex like.. i go out of my way to think about tsuhara. theyre just in my brain sometimes. but whereas like... i was uekoba posting a few days back- that was vv nice and fun! but i wouldnt have really talked about my thoughts on kinji and haru if it wasn't for outside prompting, if that makes sense.

u all will never escape my tsuhara posting. kinji canonically got tsurugi to change both in and out of the killing game. he is the one who looked at tsurugi and did not think "oh i can fix him" but simply by existing!! fixed him!!!! aaaaa!!!!! aaaaa.

The thing i will NEVER ship

hm. hmmm. i think ive chatted about them before. ive indulged. but im honestly not a huge fan of kakeru/kinji/kanata? it feels v much so to me like.. just pairing off whoevers there. i could get behind kakeru/kinji if i saw a good argument for it. i think they could be fun i a "everything goes wrong" (aka, every murder plot fails) au, but like. yeah. and then with kanata and kinji. i just dont see the vision

also i did not want to say it. but uehiga because i dont. get. it..... this delves more into mitch's writing and i dont want to talk about him on kinjis ask. but i do not understand it. it feels to me just like when people were shipping mitch and haru but repackaged. im never going to see the vision of mitch getting fixed by his having a crush on one of his male classmates.

a dynamic/relationship i wish was explored more (in canon, or in fandom)

kinda stems from beta. but i think he and mikako could be fun. spiritual buddies!!!! it could be a nice learning experience for them both. also maybe the gamblers ornament crew? that could be fun thats a friendly group of people (and also utsuro is there too/j). i just want kinji to have friends man.

thoughts on their design (appearance-wise)

mmm.. something about it is off. i dont know. it could be the linework the silhouette i dont. knowww? it just. feels blocky or bulky or something. its plain but it works for a priest and it makes sense. i like his hair color and eye color and etc etc theres just Something about his design that feels off to me if i look at it for too long

also. i dont think this is a issue anymore? but he wears a stole. thats what he's wearing. its not a scarf. (also. i still want to tie it into a bow.)

A music-related thought- a song that reminds me of them, or what their music taste is, etc

not even gonna lie i thought i had some sort of song on one of my spotify playlists that would work. wtf.

hmmmm. mercy, by sir chloe, kinda gives me like. kinji ch3 vibes. not really though why is this so evil. every song i see just winds up making me think of a different character.

okay. ive just been sitting down working on this post since i posted the rei one tbh. so. i think that no matter where u hc kinji ends up after evaluating his relationship with faith (personally i think his beliefs stay the same, he never really looses her faith, moreso what changes is his relationship with the church), he likes hearing hymns. i think harmonies and 'pretty' voices is just something he'll always appreciate in music.

[waterfallswords]

;

"Well, from where all us Belcourts are standing, it wasn't ever very hidden." Gen says sincerely with a wide grin. From the moment Bella introduced Felix, she could see how they were a match made in Heaven and how his outward demeanor is only just that. Behind it is a very caring man. "What is that Saylor Twift song? I knew you were something or other, well, I knew you were a Sweetiepop." she adds as she laughs, the sound becoming a thoughtful hum when they both consider the painting for Filippa. "I suppose you're right. Is she still trying to make everyone hoard pieces for her until she finds the space? You know, a better gift would be if we all opened a gallery and studio in her name." the thought is a mere joke at first, but after Gen speaks her head tilts and she glances to the Ranstromen. "Don't tell her that." she adds, quickly sending her thoughts as a rapid text to Luna.

"Right, yes. Just The Bear, well when you were in that, it was obvious. Bella kept her cards a little close to her chest at the time, I suppose she's like her mother in that way. So I didn't know at all that you were dating but I saw a Tiktok thing and thought hmm, how curious." she grins before excitement rolls over her again and she laughs out. "And now look! You're going to be a Belcourt, Oh, I couldn't be happier!" her arms fling out again for another impulsive and squeezing hug. This time, it isn't prolonged and Gen peels away soon after with her laughter lingering. "The Crow Bird, that's it. I saw the trailer, it looks very gothic and dramatic. Honestly, I think an adaptation for the stage would be amazing. The set on it's own would be mind blowing on broadway." Genevieve muses but catches the smirk from Felix and gives an understanding nod of her head. "Loud and clear. I shall be staying away." she laughs.

Her hand moves swiftly to deliver a gentle yet scolding tap to Felix's arm, scoffing playfully when she catches his sarcasm. "Excuse me, young man. Tone." she grins before laughing at Felix's reaction to the video. Gen then scrolls through a few more videos, every three or four, there's some hint of a naked torso riddled with abs which only prompts more laughter. "Oh, no, let's." she glances to him at his opinion, considering it as she sips her drink. "Mm, I'd argue supply and demand. Entertainment has always been something people have needed. Before film it was circuses or traveling shows or traveling theaters. Don't forget Shakespeare. This industry has always existed, I don't think it has been forced at all. But I suppose I agree with parasocial relationships, they are a little bit strange. But, I have the same response when little actor-lings complain about the press. We knew what we were doing, we can't then hate being in the public eye when it suits us."

Felix couldn't help but laugh with Gen, offering the witch a playfully sardonic nod. "Great, well. I'm glad that side of myself has been noticed. It's hard being a secret Sweetiepop." he quipped, but the grin remained on his lips as she moved her attention to the painting. It urged him to do the same, and not even a fresh set of eyes could make Felix appreciate a thing about it. "I think she doesn't need encouraging, firstly." he said about Filippa with a small chuckle. "But yeah, this is very bright. I think she would."

Taking a sip of his drink, Felix was chuckling again but mainly from Genevieve's constant mistakes despite delivering them with the utmost confidence. "Just The Bear, Gen." he corrected her with a grin, then thinking about the time he first met Bella on set and another laugh escaped him. "The thing is, I can't even say they made it all up because they were right but normally, they make it all up." he stated with a serious nod. "The Crow, yeah." Felix was grinning again. "Next month, and we have a few more things lined up but nothing crazy." which he was thankful about, arguably hating the promotional work far more than any other aspect of show-business. It was then he had to conceal his smirk with another sip of his drink. "Uhh yeah, I'd probably listen to that. I don't think it should become a Belcourt family favorite." he uttered, giving a glance to the witch as he fought a laugh.

"That makes sense, TikTok is a reliable news source." Felix commented as Genevieve fetched her phone, instinctively angling himself beside her so he could see her screen. Something he instantly regretted when there was nothing but abs and Speedos. He burst into a quick laugh, stepping back with a raise of hand. "I don't want to know how anything got in anywhere." he quipped through his laughter. "I've seen enough." Felix added, only returning to her side once she said it was safe enough with Tarquin and Emine. His nose scrunched with amusement to Genevieve's take and Felix cocked his head to the side. "I don't think we should start that discussion. I end up talking about forced media consumption and parasocial relationships for about two hours. Bella told me off last time."

[meetmyothersouls]

Omg yay! Okay so Timmy stalking the reader after they broken up

Okay! Let me preface this with: I don't think actual Timothee Chalamet would stalk anyone! When I write imagines like this, it picture it more like a character he would play! That being said, I think he'd do really, really well playing a character like this! Let me know what you think!

It’s Not You, It’s Me

Warnings: dark Timothee, stalking, suspense?

Part 2

Two months. It'd been two months since you broke up with Timothee. You loved him, but the relationship was too much. The constant paparazzi, watching him kiss other girls for work. Not to mention him having to be gone for months at a time sometimes. You decided you were better off as friends.

He was mad. You'd never seen him in such a rage. He punched a hole in the wall, broke a vase and screamed at you. Then, almost instantly, he was crying, begging you not to leave him. On his knees pressing his head into your stomach, his tears stained and wet your shirt. It was the hardest thing you had ever had to do, but for your mental health and happiness, it was worth it. Timothee would be better off with someone...more like him, you decided.

"I don't want someone like me, I want YOU," he cried.

That sentence echoed in your brain, especially at night when you missed him, but you would both be happier this way and you were sure he'd thank you for it later.

You woke up early for work, hoping to beat the busy New York traffic, when you slammed into a body.

"You got a new apartment?" Timotthee asked.

"I...how'd you find it?" You hadn't shared your new address with him...or anyone for that matter, and the fact that he was standing at your doorstep made you nervous.

"Doesn't matter. I just...I want you to give me another chance. Let's work this out."

"Tim, there isn't anything to work out. This is quite literally an 'it's not you, it's me' situation and I don't think there's anything you can do to fix it," you put a hand on his shoulder. He stared at you, with a look in his eyes that you couldn't quite place. Your hand fell off of his shoulder as he gave you a small nod. He turned on his heel and made his way down the stairwell.

Work was a good distraction from your encounter with Timothee this morning. You attended meetings, responded to emails and answered phone calls, all things that made your work day zoom by. It was lunch time and you were wrapping up an email when a familiar voice sounded from behind you. You popped your head up from your computer and slowly turned your body. There he was, chatting up your boss, laughing. Timothee noticed your eyes on him, waved you over and held up 2 bags of carry out. Too stunned to speak or even move, he waltzed over to your desk and plopped one of the bags in front of you.

"I brought you lunch," he said as he placed a kiss you weren't able to return on your lips.

"What are you doing?" You asked as he sat in front of you, eating like you hadn't been separated for two months.

"I'm having lunch with my girlfriend, what does it look like?" He laughed.

You huffed out a breath and ran your fingers through your hair, "Timothee, are you okay? We are not together...remember? You and I are not a thing anymore."

He scoffed, "Oh, we are very much a thing, y/n. Whether you like it or not."

"You need to leave. Now, please."

A smile crept onto his face. A smile dripped with an insidious lethality that left you uneasy and nauseous. The chair he sat in dragged across the floor loudly as he stood, "I'll see you later, y/n."

You wanted to call someone, tell them that...what would you tell them? Everyone loved Timothee, they'd never believed that he threatened you. Was that a threat? Either way he was definitely delusional. You had clearly ended things, and he was trying to get you back...or force you back.

You didn't want work to end, worried he'd be waiting for you outside, but when it was time to go he wasn't anywhere to be found. You felt silly, but you checked underneath your car and in your back seat before climbing in. You locked the doors and let out a deep, long breath.

You climbed the stairwell that led to your apartment, stopping in your tracks once you reached the top. Your keys fell out of your hand and your heart dropped into your stomach as you saw your front door hanging wide open, the apartment inside dark.

Frozen with fear, you couldn't move as Timothee's voice sounded from the darkness within, "come in, y/n."

Tags: @imnotoverlyobsessive @dayafied @soulofendlessbook @fashphotolife @chicchanelcigs @mxciscastleintheair @scentedkittenperfection @weasleytwinscumslut @marvelmaniac2000 @divine-1 @lovelyrocker @timotheesl0ve @timotheeisthelomll

[schrodingersbastard1154]

Okay, so I just finished watching the last episode of OFMD for the thousandth time and I just remembered a review I read before it came out that teased Stede getting a more comedic story in the episode while Ed got a darker one, and having watched that, it's actually not 100% true, but it is super interesting because I thought the same thing until this rewatch. The first two thirds of the episode, Stede is 100% the dramatic crux of the episode. After everything that happened in the last few minutes of episode 9, where his guilt completely overpowers him and we see him at his lowest so far in the whole show, it's devastating to see him trying to force himself back into those strict social guidelines that we know he hates so much for the sake of two people who would clearly have been happier if he didn't (Ed and Mary.) Seriously, this is probably him at his darkest. He pulls a knife on an innocent man. His family painted him out of their portraits. His wife wants to keep pretending he's still dead. His daughter hates him and his son doesn't know who he is. It's depressing as all hell. Meanwhile Ed is comparatively pretty lighthearted. He's clearly heartbroken, but it's not anywhere near as devastating as any of the stuff happening with Stede at that point. The crew are still supporting him in his awkward song-writing and crying in blanket forts. His talk with Lucius shows that he has an actual support structure for the first time in his life. And most importantly, for a while he actually seems to be getting better. He doesn't immediately lose all his development from throughout the series. He gets genuinely excited about the crew putting on a talent show and seems like he wants to be a part of it. Most vitally, he asks them to keep calling him 'Edward,' which is as we all know the name he uses when he's willing to be open and vulnerable with people. The beauty of the episode is the switch we get in two consecutive scenes; Stede coming out to his wife, and Ed killing Lucius. The coming out scene is unironically beautiful. It walks the line between being a revelation which was incredibly brave of Stede to do, and him just casually admitting a fact that he now knows to be true. When Mary hugs him, it's really the apex of his character arc. He can finally let go of the guilt he feels about abandoning her, knowing she has a better life without him in it, and he's no longer confused and tormented by his feelings for Ed. He finally lets himself be driven wholly by his heart and not by what he thinks is expected of him. By the end of the episode, this is probably Stede at his best emotionally. So from here, he gets a comedic arc where he gets to go all out faking his death. And it's hilarious. The last impression we get of him in the series is him finally free, ready to return to his love, something unambiguously happy. And all of the comedy of the last few scenes with him is still present in the viewers' minds, so we naturally associate his story now with all the lightness and brevity associated with the show's humour. In the meantime, immediately after the scene that gives us Stede at his best, we get the scene that gives us Ed at his worst. Him killing Lucius hurts so much, not only because it's Lucius and we all love him, but because it's so counter to everything Ed has shown himself wanting to be until now. He claims he doesn't kill people in spite of evidence to the contrary, and out of the entire crew, he's probably the closest with Lucius out of everyone minus Stede. He's the one who convinces Ed to tell Stede how he feels about him. He's the one who sees Ed crying in his blanket fort. He's the only one who snaps at him when he's making bad choices. So the sudden shift in their relationship portrayed so beautifully by Edward just smiling as he pushes him overboard is devastating, because if Ed doesn't care about Lucius anymore, who does he care about? The scene with Izzy immediately afterwards only makes it worse, because right now, he agrees with Izzy, but he's still willing to mutilate him to prove a

point; he doesn't care about anything anymore. And Izzy understands that. His glee immediately afterwards is proof that he's won, and he knows he's won. Blackbeard is himself again. From there, it's all downhill as he kills off every part of Stede he has left, from taking his ship, to destroying his books, to leaving his crew to starve. Our last image of him is him alone in his room, after adding a bloodied heart to his flag as a literal way of expressing to the world that he will never love anything again, crying at a picture of Stede's lighthouse, a parallel to the closing shot of Stede stood on his boat with one hand raised, emulating a lighthouse as he prepares to lead his crew away from danger, proving that even after everything he did to close himself off, he's still fundamentally broken. Symbolically, our last shot of Edward is a man who has driven all of the light out of his life, and our last shot of Stede is a man who is returning with a newfound light in himself. This structure was so well-done here, because honestly, giving all of the comedy to Stede and all of the drama to Ed would have been a disservice to both of their characters. Their arcs in this episode oppose each other perfectly, and the weight of comic relief is passed evenly between them, which is so much more satisfying on both a narrative and character standpoint This is basically a longwinded way of saying, I love this show, we need a season 2. Also I refuse to believe Lucius is actually dead. #LuciusLives.

[barnes-and-rogers]

"Wish we were"- Stucky: soulmate au

-26/04/2021

Steve traced the star on his left forearm. The same would be on his (hopefully) future wife. He should’ve felt relief; he was lucky to even have a soulmark. However, he couldn’t help but feel like he’d be burdening her; never embodying the man she truly wanted. He’d never be the man he wanted: 6 foot (so probably taller than them) and muscular. Like Bucky.

He wanted to be Bucky. Everyone liked Bucky. Unfortunately, even he liked Bucky (in a platonic way). How couldn’t he; Bucky was perfect. Whoever had him as a soulmate would be very lucky. Yet the mere thought of Bucky having a soulmate left an insatiable pit in his stomach.

Once Bucky began knocking he knew it was going to be the first time. The first time he’d see Bucky’s soulmark.

At first, he thought the exchange would be sensual— something to symbolise the depth of their friendship— now, it filled him with dread, knowing his best friend might eventually leave him. Not physically, but spiritually. Soon Bucky would meet someone at his level, a level higher than Steve could reach (though someone who is 5”4 can’t reach much).

Bucky smirked, wiggling his eyebrows as Steve left the bathroom. Steve blushed, one would assume it was due to embarrassment, however, it was because of that goddamn smirk. If only he could smirk like that, when he smirked he looked like a puppy (a cute little puppy). Ignorant to the fact that Bucky was implying something “private” had happened in the span of 10 minutes.

“C’mon, birthday boy, I won't be young forever.” Bucky swung his arm over Steve, leading him into his bedroom. 

“Sure, how old are you?” Steve feigned curiosity, “almost sixty, maybe seventy?” 

Bucky punched Steve’s feeble arm, “Punk.” He chuckled once he saw Steve’s boyish grin. It was cute, and somewhat fitting for Steve.

“Jerk. Besides, I can’t control the fact that you're seventeen going on seventy.” Bucky ruffled Steve’s hair, before shoving him onto the bed. Steve began laughing; his contagious laughter had Bucky creasing. The joke wasn’t even that funny. It definitely wasn’t worth the almost asthma attack.

Bucky sighed, satisfied by the pressure leaving his abdomen. He wiped the tears out of his eyes, before pulling Steve— who was still somewhat struggling to breathe up off his back. Luckily, that made it easier for Steve to begin breathing again. 

“You okay, buddy?” Concerned for his friend, Bucky rubbed Steve’s back. Strangely, it upset Bucky that laughter harmed Steve, probably because Bucky preferred the sound of Steve’s laughter over his. And how was he meant to conceal his own laughter without Steve’s.

 

“Holy fork,” Steve breathed out, “I think I just lost seventy years of my life.” That breath was somewhat relieving for Steve seeing as it seemed Bucky had forgotten what they were meant to be doing.

“Anyways, back to the matter at hand: Soulmarks.” He’d spoken too soon.

Bucky began pulling the sleeve on his left arm, ready to show Steve his soulmark.

“Wait!” Steve yelled, desperation resonated in his voice. Bucky was a good listener, and was always (usually) honest, yet Steve was unable to explain his fears to him. What was he supposed to say, “Sorry Buck, I’m scared that you’ll finally leave me, even though you didn’t when you had the chance. And get this, you’d leave me for a girl. Imagine, you'd ditch your best friend for a girl, crazy right?.” Sadly, that would be weird. 

“Bucky, I—” Steve paused, “What if she doesn’t love me?” Steve refused to look Bucky in the eyes, embarrassed by his childish question. 

“Maybe she won’t, but you’ll still have me.” 

“Asshole, you're meant to be comforting me.” Unbeknownst to Bucky, his statement actually was comforting.

“Trust me, you’re irresistible.” Bucky chuckled, ruffling Steve’s hair and pinching his cheeks. Steve attempted to fix his hair, even though Bucky was the only person there.

However— since Steve has twigs for arms— his sleeves slipped down, bunching up at his elbows. Bucky caught a glimpse of his forearm, seeing a familiar star on Steve: his soulmark. 

Bucky smiled smugly at Steve. Steve jokingly glared at Bucky. 

“Thank you for the inconvenience, have a nice day.” Steve flashed an almost unnaturally large grin, before it went down  to his standard smile.

“Okay Stevie you want some advice. I know your soulmate adores you.” Steve put up his finger, ready to intervene. “Don’t.”

Bucky inwardly groaned, when Steve began to speak, “But my gut—”

“Your gut’s broken. I guess all the punches it took really did some damage.”

“If my gut’s broken, then so is my soulmark.” Bucky felt offended, unable to speak, before Steve continued, “I mean I don’t deserve one; it’d be a waste.”

“You know what’s a waste? Your self-doubt.”

“But—”

“Steven Rogers, shut up for a minute and listen. Anybody would adore you. The puppy mimicking the guard dog personality is adorable. And look at those big blue eyes, they’re like— ” Bucky paused, taking a moment to collect himself, “What I am about to say is embarrassing? You can’t tell anyone I said this, am I clear.��

“Crystal.” Steve said without skipping a beat. 

“Crystals. They’re like crystals in the morning sky. And your hair is soft, women will be dying to run their fingers through it. There’s still so much, like your smile, and how it makes you...” Bucky sighed before muttering “beautiful.”

Mesmerised Steve looked down, concealing the lovestruck grin that overtook his face. On the other hand, Bucky was internally scolding himself for being so open about his emotions. 

“Bucky...” Awkwardly scratching the back of his head, Steve continued, “thank you. Uuuh...You look neat.”

“That was anticlimactic.”

“Shut up, Buck.” Steve shoved Bucky, though he barely made a dent. Bucky just laughed it off. Leaving some empty space between their words, tension mistaken for awkwardness.

“Anyways...” Bucky said, diminishing all tension, “soulmarks?”

Steve froze, somehow unable to form a sentence. This was it: the moment he was waiting for; the moment that was tormenting him for the past ten minutes; the moment that left him speechless.

Until, “Soulmarks,” left his mouth. ‘Let’s just get it over with.’  

Steve rolled his sleeve up as Bucky began to remove his jacket. Although, wearing a jacket in summer was seemingly unnecessary, it made him look amazing. They say girls like “bad boys”, and Bucky seemed like just the forbidden fruit. However, a small part of Steve wished he didn't. On Bucky’s arm lay the same mark that Steve saw earlier. 

Was this it? The feeling was not different from what he usually felt around Bucky. He didn’t think life’s questions would be answered,he would see God, or he would develop some supernatural abilities. But he thought he’d at least feel different. Happier maybe. Maybe sadder, not just numb. All the preparation he made didn’t prepare him for this. That Bucky was his soulmate.

How would people react? Yes people knew that what soulmate you got wasn’t a choice, but that doesn’t mean people wouldn’t try to blame you. Although religion didn't really back up the possibility of soulmates, doesn't mean it wasn't used against certain groups of soulmates. A false notion presented to people about soulmates was that they were based off of your life experiences, as if the soulmate you got was forced upon you by a karmic justice system. 

But Steve didn't deserve this, not the karma, but Bucky. He wanted to deserve this, he really did, but he just couldn’t. He’d always found Bucky unbelievably attractive, and he usually ignored it. He usually went to church and prayed, always left with more questions. Bucky wasn’t that religious so he was probably not thinking these thoughts. He couldn’t do this, it just wasn’t right, to lead on Bucky.

On the other hand, Bucky was having his own discourse, there was nothing stopping him from pursuing Steve, other than Steve. However, Steve and him had history, years of friendship down the drain. It was either a relationship or a broken friendship. Even with this it felt like it'll all end up in flames. There were no good endings.

“I think you should go,” Steve whispered, shuffling to the door opening it for Bucky.

“Yeah,” Bucky choked out, trying to delay his departure. “I’ll see you.”

“I guess… Bye Buck.”

“Bye Steve.”

Once Bucky had left, Steve felt nothing. As if all his distress and passion had moulded together and cancelled each other out, leaving an overwhelming amount of apathy. 

Steve wanted to cry, he wanted to tear the soulmark off his arm, ripping it apart, forgetting  this ever even happened. He wanted to just walk away and stay with Bucky, the way they were. But how would Bucky feel? Anticipating the first time he’d meet his soulmate, only for the unpredictable to happen. It just wasn't right— it didn’t feel right. All he could was suppress it, until he saw Bucky next. 

Note: I spent over a year writing this, I had the idea ages ago and I finally finished it. I'm sorry about the end dudes. But yeah this is my first time writing stuff like this. I hope people enjoy.

[fijiangecko]

When the Sun Rises in the West

Prologue

A/N: AHHH IT'S HERE!! I'm so excited to finally share this! I'm planning on posting chapters every couple days so I make you all wait for it 😉 this whole series was entirely based off of this playlist, and every chapter will have a theme. This one isn't super edited but I actually love this series. Heavily based off of GoT (locations and dergons) but no spoilers. This story doesn't use the same plot or same characters.

C/N = City Name

Word Count: 1,700+

The barren wasteland of Essos was home to many people for the past several centuries. From dry deserts to scattered mountain ranges, the people couldn't have been happier to be alive and not in Westeros, dealing with the war of the iron throne. Blood shed, tears, agony and resentment are what wars left behind, not the virtues of peace and prosperity they promised. You, for one, would never want to experience anything like it. As heiress to a city newfound within the last century, your heart is only filled with love for your people. Never in your life would you wish to put a sword in a child's hand and tell them to fight for your honor, and not their own.

There's a reason your people haven't had to fight yet. Both the natural defenses that C/N holds and the ferociousness of native animals. C/N lies in a valley between several mountains. It is deep enough to have its own water supply, and no sane ruler would have his army climb over such steep mountain tops. Plus, they've only heard rumors about you, but no one would dare see if they were true.

The people of C/N love your family and care for you deeply, wishing you good health and even better prosperity. Children walk with you through the streets as you treat them to exotic fruits and pleasantries. The adults are thankful to all gods that they have found this Oasis, this sanctuary of peace and happiness. After trekking across the Red Waste and the Dothraki Sea they found a home for both themselves and their families. They smile as you walk by, greeting you and presenting you with their wares. Oftentimes, they will want you to take it for free - a gift, but you refuse every time. You live with the head family, there's no need for you to get freebies. Everyone lives in simple splendor with their everyday lives; content at the opportunity to have an easy life until they die.

"Y/N!" You snap out of a memory where you're dancing around a great pyre to an ancient song with the town elders. It was the celebration of your fifteenth birthday, an important day in a young person's life as they graduate from childhood to adulthood. "You know you have to leave soon, right?" Your mother walks around the grand table to you, and tests her hand on top of yours. She smiles sweetly as she waits for a response.

"I know, I just don't want too." Your eyes travel downwards at the new memory. Your birthday was in two months, and the 22nd birthday through your family lineage meant marriage. Although you wouldn't be taking over C/N anytime soon due to Fathers good health, there's still a need to have good trade relationships with other cities across the nation. You know that they wouldn't force you into a relationship, as their parents didn't, but let something grow naturally with one of the children of other head families. Out of so many there was bound to be one that caught your favor… or so they hoped. 

"It'll be okay pumpkin, we didn't want to send you away for so many months, but Masaru's son is the only person in the world that is like you. There has to be a bond there we don't know about." In the past few months, head families have traveled to meet you and hope that they can tie the knot with you. They were all turned away, due to a couple big factors. 1) they were too young, 2) they had a stick up their ass, 3) they didn't give a shit about what happened to the citizens of their towns and would profit off of their tragedy and 4) there were allegations of slave trade among them. True or not, you would not stand to put a price on human life. If there were allegations, then that means someone connected to them was either in or around the trades themselves. It was sickening to think about. As far as you know, the Bakugou bloodline doesn't have any affiliations with slave traders, their son is your age, if not a little older and cared about his people in an odd way. 

"Why am I going for so long? I'm going to miss my 22nd celebration…"

"Well, the Bakugou's haven't been sending us a lot of materials lately, so you're not only there for personal interest but diplomatically. We need these materials for more homes. Those children you live are becoming adults, but we don't have the means to help them." She squeezes your hand. "You can help them. Missing your celebration will suck, I know, but we'll have it as soon as you get back. Plus we'll need to talk about who's going to marry who."

Anxiety bubbles in your chest, but you pop it with a calming smile. "I know. I don't like any of the other candidates, but if the rumors about the younger Bakugou are true than I shouldn't have to worry. If we are the only two in the world that are this way, isn't that a sign from gods old and new?"

"That's the spirit Y/N. We'll finish packing your stuff. Go finish saying your goodbyes." Your mother smiles sweetly and give you a tight hug before letting you go. The rest of the night you reminisce with old friends. You all talk about old shenanigans and pranks you used it pull on older people, but now you're the older people having pranks pulled on them. It is a great night of food and friends with a light dusting of sadness topped off with tears. You were gonna miss everyone, but you must do what they need you to do. They weren't crying because they were acted for you, more like they didn't want you to leave. 

At first you misinterpreted their tears, "Guys, I'm gonna be okay! I'll have Rhaegal and Viserion with me."

"No Y/N, we don't want you to go!" Mina cries from across the tavern table. The tears were appreciated, and broke your heart.

"I'll be back before you know it. Maybe I'll even have some eye candy at my side." Everyone laughs and you take the rest of the night to enjoy their company. You wouldn't have been able to sleep anyways, so this was a pleasant alternative.

The morning sun is bright when your eyes crack open. They hurt for a couple seconds, but it passes as your body adjusts to new circumstances. The sun itself is only cresting over the mountain tops, creating a golden glow around everything the light touches. That's when it hits you - this is last sunrise you'll be seeing for who knows how long. If all goes well diplomatically, then you'll be able to return home within a month, but if conflicts arise… you try not to put much thought into it and just watch the hues of peach and orange dance across the sky.

Softly, someone places a hand on your shoulder breaking your stream of thoughtlessness. "It's time to go." Your mother spoke quietly, as though cooing a newborn. Her velvet voice helps calm you even further. It'll only be for a little while. I don't even have to focus on Masaru's son if I don't want too. "C'mon, let's go grab Rhaegal and Viserion."

Walking towards the edge of town, a cart with all of your things lies ahead on the path, waiting to be pulled by 2 horses and their carriage master, Kota. He smiles at you, and you back to him. You can't help but wonder how such a sweet stable boy would want in Mereen, but maybe he just wanted to take Clyde and Grumm out for a walk after being cooped up for so long. You and your mother walk around the base of one of the surrounding mountains to a cave entrance. It's too dark to see inside, but you know the two are there; waiting to be set free since the last incident.

"Ñuhyz zaldrīzesse." Screeching bounced off of the cavern walls, the cacophony animalistic gurgles and grunts echo both out and further into the tunnels. An orange flame lights up the room suddenly, and the scale from the beasts glisten in the fire light. Large cuffs are wrapped around their necks that have chains bolted into the mountain walls. "Ñuha riñar, Rhaegal se Viserion. Iksan vaoreznuni." You walk over to the chains and unlatch them. Their large bodies tower over your own, but you can feel that they mean no harm. Rhaegal nuzzles his chin on the top of your head, as if saying "I know". His green scales shine Viserion bellows out another flame. Altogether, you exit the cave.

"They don't seem agitated." Your mother stands back quite a ways; she knows that they would never harm her but they are very large creatures.

"No, they learned their lesson." You run a hand over Viserion's cream colored scales, looking into his golden eyes. "Daēz." Upon the last sound leaving your lips, the spread their massive wings and take off, spurring dust clouds at their feet.

"Hopefully the Bakugou boy is as caring as you are." She laughs as you both walk to the wagon. Kota stares at the beasts in the sky, marvelling at them as they sore and howl.

"If he's the only other person in this world who has one, then he better be taking care of it as if it were his child."

"There is a reason they call you Muña Zaldrīzoti, my dear." You both laugh for a second and you look up at her.

"I'm going to miss you." You take her hands in your own, and squeeze them. She reciprocates it by releasing your hands and going for a hug.

"You'll do great. I know it and so does your father." She squeezes her arms before releasing. "Now go off and do amazing things." Tears prick the corners of you eyes, but you hold them back as best you can. With one last glance at your smiling mother, you hop on the carriage next to Koda and start on your journey to Mereen.

~

Ñuhyz zaldrīzesse - My dragons

Ñuha riñar - My children

Iksan vaoreznuni - I'm sorry

Daēz - Be Free

Muña Zaldrīzoti - Mother of Dragons

[tomatosaucek]

hey so this might just be a shitty post but I was watching Naruto shippuden ed 11 and I couldn't help but start to analyze it a bit.

In it we see Naruto as a child crying but slowly getting happier as he gains more people/bonds in his life. Yet the expression on his older self seems so somber and serious. I feel like anyone can connect his expression here to his determination to get Sasuke back in his life but I felt like I needed to state it. Despite Sasuke leaving the village his child self remains in the ending during Naruto's section. That alone shows how despite defecting from konoha Naruto still views Sasuke as an important bond in his life that he can't let go of and even though he has other bonds his expression of sadness/seriousness won't deter and turn to a happier one until he's saved Sasuke. We know Naruto values bonds and wants to be acknowledged by everyone in konoha yet he wont be truly content until Sasuke himself acknowledges him and I think that shows just how strong their bond truly is.

Sasuke on the other hand.

I feel like his expression here is sure and steady. He doesn't look sad, the way the line of his mouth is drawn is actually going upwards and I don't know if that's just how they drew his side profile and weren't actually going for a small smile or not. But it looks like that.

He closes his eyes as well perhaps to reflect on his past and the bonds he discarded. Yet Naruto remains in his mind as the only bond he couldn't and truthfully didn't want to sever. Sasuke seems content to only have a bond with Naruto and I think that captures the twos clashing ideologies very well. Naruto puts value in having many bonds while Sasuke considers them a weakness. However, the exception to both their ideologies is each other. Having many bonds still doesnt seem enough to Naruto if his bond with Sasuke is severed. In his mind he's choosing one bond, making his relationship with Sasuke have more value than the rest of his relationships throughout the show. We see this in Sasuke too who finds bonds are a weakness that incapacitates people from achieving their full potential and he is able to drop all other ties except the ones he has with Naruto. In part 1 of Naruto he made the decision not to destroy their bond and I truly think he was content with that decision and comprised his own ideologies because of how important Naruto is to him.

So yeah if you wanna break this post down to its bare bones. Sasuke seems fine with only having Naruto as his important bond, we see this reaffirmed for us near the end of Shippuden when both Naruto and Sasuke think they have died and Sasuke seems content to stay there with Naruto.

We see him smile and he looks at least a little at peace. If I remember right he even brings up the fact that Kakashi and Sakura could handle or do something. And as much as Naruto tries to cover up his own similar feelings with excuses that not only does he miss Sasuke but konoha and Sakura miss him just as much as well. We can later see these are just what I stated earlier: excuses. because during the half point of Shippuden everyone has given up on Sasuke except Naruto. The excuse that he's trying to keep his bond with Sasuke and save him for Sakura and Konoha arent valid anymore because they want him dead. Naruto even admits to Sakura he isnt trying to save Sasuke due to the promise he made to har in part 1. This shows to me that in reality Naruto would have never been content or happy if he didnt compromise/make up/save whatever you wanna call it with Sasuke at the end of vote2 .

As an added bonus because I just keep adding/re editing this post. I found some gifs with the ed song lyrics during the two parts I was looking into.

During Naruto's scene the words playing are Sasuke's feelings and vice versa. In part 1 the thing that held Sasuke back, at least what he feels later on that held him back, was his bond with Naruto. Yet he still could never bring himself to sever it. The lyrics conveying Naruto's feelings, we already know he wants to see Sasuke. He's always wishing they were together and we see with these two scenes coming into the ed one after the other that they are looking towards each other and saying these things to each other and their expression might very well be their subsequent reactions to the words being said to them by the other through the song.

Ultimately: Their bond with each other is on an entirely different level when compared to everyone else in the show and Kishimoto probabaly didn't mean for it to get this out of hand but it does and to be honest I kind of prefer this dynamic between them of having such a strong and transedant bond. Their relationship and dynamic is unlike any other shounen rivals I've ever seen in fact even outside of shounen I haven't seen much like it and I think that's one of the reasons Naruto remains so popular even today. The show wasn't supposed to be nearly this deep and I'm probably grossly over analyzing a single ending scene but I think the show becomes this complex mostly thanks to Naruto and Sasuke's relationship. I think Kishimoto was smart to make it the driving force in Shippuden and people drag on him alot but this is one of the aspects he got right.

[arreisstorm]

HAPPY SUGA DAY!

Disclaimer:

****I meant to get this post up on Yoongi's actual birthday but due to Tumblr completely deleting my first draft and having to deal with some crap at work, I haven't really been in my right mind to do so, so unfortunately I wasn't able to get it done in time. Even if it's a little late I hope you guys still enjoy this post!****

So I've been thinking all day what I can say about Min Yoongi that I haven't said already and sadly I'm drawing a blank.

 I think everyone knows by now how, underneath that hard and standoff-ish exterior, Yoongi is truly one of the sweetest, most caring members in BTS.

 He may be the designated "grandpa" but he can give Jin a run for his money as the "mom" of the group with the way he dotes on every single member in his own way. So instead of me doing a long winded post that loses it train of thought a million times I think I'll expand on how much Yoongi truly loves his brothers:

▪JIN

So when it comes to the relationship these two share, "opposites attract" is the best way I could describe it. While one is outgoing and loud, the other is more reserved and quiet. This duo loves to annoy each other and you can see that every time Jin cracks a face-palm inducing dad joke, and vice versa whenever Yoongi makes fun of Jin for his "old" age. I mean it's obvious to ARMY by now how extra Jin can be at times, but even through all the cringe-worthy moments and  second-hand embarrassment, at the end of the day, Yoongi still has great appreciation and respect for him.

▪JIMIN

Like Jin and Yoongi, Jimin and Yoongi are also quite opposites when it comes to their outlook on life. Where Jimin sees positivity, Yoongi is more about realism. It's not that he doesn't want to see the world as a happy place, but he also doesn't want to be blind to the truth either. That's why these two work so well together, one is the lifts the other up while the other protects them from harm.

▪TAEHYUNG

It's no secret that Tae marches to the beat of his own drum, but it is because of this fact that Yoongi finds him so endearing. During an episode of BV the two were partnered up to spend time together and even when everyone else said they would never agree on anything, Yoongi had the perfect solution. He cares a lot for Tae and he knows how hard the past few years have been for him after losing precious loved ones, so he's kind of been the one looking out for him behind the scenes.

▪JUNGKOOK

When it comes to emotional vulnerability, I would say Kookie and Yoongi are two peas in a pod. Neither one chooses to wear their hearts on their sleeves, but on the rare occassions when they do, you can guarantee you will find yourself crying along with them. There's a lot of pressure and uncertainty that goes alongside being the maknae of the group, and even more so when you're the golden maknae, and that's why I think Yoongi has taken it upon himself to help shoulder those burdens by taking care of him. Whether it's sticking up for him, encouraging him, or simply offering to buy him a proper meal, Yoongi has always been a great hyung to Kookie. And who could forget the iconic moment of "Friendship is Irish Bomb"? Haha

▪HOSEOK

Ok, so there's a lot with this relationship. We have day meets night, dark meets light, and cynicism meets positivity. These two contrast so much but still connect on the same level in countless other ways. Both are 2/3 that form one of the best raplines I've ever seen. Both are very passionate about what they do (J-Hope: dance, Yoongi: music) and they have worked their butts off to reached the point they're at now. Because Yoongi is such a realist, he is constantly overwhelmed with the state of the world, and he desperately needs to see the happier side that he might be missing...that's where Hobi comes in. There's a reason he was given the nickname he was given, he provides everyone around him with hope and happiness when they need it most, and that especially applies to Yoongi.

 When you constantly find yourself in the limelight it can be hard not to lose yourself within it. You might even forget your sense of self and instead be reduced to nothing more than a preconception told from a cameras perspective; that's when friends are the best cure, and Hobi just so happens to be that friend. These two are important for one another because whenever they're together it seems to be nothing but laughs and genuine smiles. They are carefree and able to be themselves around each other. To have that sense of freedom is probably a rare occasion for BTS in general, but even more so for the one who's know to be the "cold-hearted" and I'm happy he can find it with Hobi.

▪NAMJOON

Finally we have these two: Namjoon and Yoongi.

I've decided to save this one for last because to me they have a bond that completely differs from all others previously mentioned. These two have known each other the longest, have lived together the longest, and have seen each other at their worst points. Before debuting these two would fight constantly, both due to genuine disagreements, and also because of the countless hardships and pressure they had thrown at them. They have grown with each other and have been there to strengthen each other every step of the way.

Yoongi might not be one to express his feelings so openly, but every time I see the clip of him crying with Joon after receiving their first MAMA award It's obvious how much he does care and how much this all means to him.

To be honest, Yoongi never fails to show his love and support whenever his brothers are feeling down, and that especially goes for Joon. With him being the leader of BTS there is so much added pressure and expectations to live up to that it can be overwhelming, and on top of all of it, being the designated translator, writing and producing most of BTS' songs, and also trying to learn the choreography to go along with said song can seem next to impossible; Yoongi sees these struggles and he does all he can to help lessen the weight.

These two honestly do share one of the most profound bonds and I believe nothing could severe it completely. They might still have their fights, I mean they're human, it's bound to happen, but the respect and admiration they have for one another wins out every time.

As much as they love each other, these two also love to screw with each other too. Yoongi constantly makes fun of Joon for his clumsiness and Joon makes fun of Yoongi for his laziness, but in the end these two wouldn't be who they are without the other.

Yoongi once said in an interview that Joon is one of his favorite people he's ever met and if he had to pick a person to spend his last day with he would pick him. Then Joon in a different interview mentioned how Yoongi is basically his mirror and he takes care of the thing that Joon is unable to. These two compliment each other so well, and musically speaking, their backgrounds come from very similar places that they just know how the other runs. If Hobi allows Yoongi to act himself and to let loose physically, then Joon is his emotional release. They know how to have those deep heart-to-heart conversation without worrying what the other might think. Yoongi is able to use his words and is able to open up to Joon about any doubts, fear, or anxiety he might be struggling with, as well as using them to provide Joon with the assurance he needs that he is doing a good job as the leader; and in return, Joon gives Yoongi that sense of comfort and stability whenever he needs it.

Min Yoongi and Kim Namjoon.

Yoonie and Joonie.

Suga and RM.

AGUST D and Rap Monster.

Lil Meow Meow and Killer Dimples.

These boys are one in the same: two overall geniuses who started as underground rappers possessing skills of insane flow and destructive lyrics, then forced to become idols, who eventually helped redefined what idols are, and now are global superstars that have created the golden rapline (with Hobi), are living their wildest dreams yet still remain humble, as well as unapologetic about incorporation crucial social topics into their songs.

There's a reason these two get along so well and that's because of years of being around each other, having the same deep, philosophical thought process, and knowing that hard work, sleepless nights, and finding growth within personal struggles are what it takes to reach your ultimate goal.

The point is, if you're still with me that is haha, is that Suga tends to have this reputation that he is cold-hearted and aloof when it comes to the rest of the members, but honestly who wouldn't be exhausted and not wanting to participate in different events after having not slept for days on end and pouring their blood, sweat, tears (not intentional btw) into their creations?! Suga is one of the hardest working, passionate, individuals out there and if he didn't sacrifice so much for us, far beyond what this post can tell you, then BTS would not exist the way we know it now. It because he is willing to put his own health and well-being on hold --despite ARMY and the boys wishes-- and take on this almost altruistic behavior that I have so much respect and admiration for Yoongi. And anyone who says that this man is cold or that he hates his members...Have you not seen this man's precious, gummy smile when he's having the time of his life with his favorite people? There's a reason he chose to call himself "Suga" and that's because underneath that hard outer shell, deep down Min Yoongi is nothing but pure sweetness who isn't afraid to dream big and wants to see those he loves succeed to their fullest potential.

He is our resident grandpa, a musical genuis, and can spit fire while roasting people with the highest level of savageness you can achieve. He is the 2nd oldest, the hyung who tends to show his love when the cameras aren't rolling, and he is the backbone of BTS who slaves away in the recording studio to produce these insane tracks we all love so much. He is the only one that I've noticed who mirrors and compliments Namjoon's own thoughts and feelings and he is a huge reason why BTS has been so successful like they are.

We love you

Min Yoongi

Suga

AGUST D

Lil Meow Meow

Grandpa Yoongs

I hope you had a great birthday and thank you for everything you have done for BTS in the past, everything you're doing in the present, and everything you will do in the future. You are one of my biggest inspirations and I wish you all the best!

화이팅! 💜

[im-always-fangirling]

I'm Fine - Chen Li Nong

A/n: Actually, I've been itching to write something for this little smol bean since a while ago. ❤️ I'm so glad that he seems happier in the recent episodes and I sincerely wish only the best for him. Anyways, this is my first time writing something on tumblr so yepp, hope ya'll like it.

Summary: When things get too overwhelming , he's just glad that you're there for him

Words: 1565 words.

Genre: angsty (but not too much?) + fluff

-----------

You woke up in the afternoon feeling all drowsy. Thankfully, it was the weekend, so you had no classes to attend.

The lights in your room were too bright for you to handle right after you wake up and you silently cursed when you realize you might have accidentally increased the electricity bills, along with the rate of yourself getting skin cancer.

Yet, remembering the reason you didn't switch off the lights in the first place had made you smile and with that, your sour mood faded away.

Last night, you were on the phone with one of your favorite human beings on Earth - Chen Li Nong.

He came back from Bei Jing yesterday and just like he promised, he had called you the moment he returned to home.

You two spoke for a bit on the phone and then switched to texting when it got too late at night because the both of you didn’t want to bother your families’ sleep.

While texting, you made sure your lights were switched on because he insisted it, saying that staring at your phone in the dark would spoil your eyes and since he was speaking from experience, you decided to take to his advice.

However, like always , you were the first to fall asleep while exchanging midnight texts with him.

You looked around your bed for your phone and found it under the pillow. You couldn’t help but smile at the baracade of texts he sent you after you fell asleep, one of them being a reminder to call him the moment you wake up.

Of course, that’s what you did after reading the sent text. It took a while, but you finally heard a click.

“Hey hey, you’re awake.”

“Mm, and I’m surprised you are too.”

You heard him chuckle from the other side of the line and that made you smile as well.

His chuckle suddenly came to a halt and you heard distant murmurs from the phone. You tried staying quiet and also to listen to what was going on, but you still failed to grasp the situation at the other side of the line.

Then, there was quiet sigh before he whispered to the phone hastily, “Um sorry, I’m a bit busy right now, is it alright if we meet up tonight?”

So, you and Li Nong quickly set the time and place of your sudden meet up.

Then, you were left at the other side of the line, feeling a bit worried for him after you both exchange your quick ‘goodbye’s.

Actually, 'worry' is sommething familiar for you by now.

In fact, you’ve been worried ever since antifans started spreading nasty rumours about Li Nong.

He hasn’t mention anything about that though, only telling you nice things like how awesome everyone is, how kind the staffs are and how he enjoyed his time there.

So, you decide not to think much about it and occupied yourself with other stuffs whilst waiting for time to pass.

And soon enough, time did pass and it was time for you to head out of your house to the usual place you two hang out.

When you see a familiar tall figure ahead, wearing his trademark yellow sweater, you immediately started to run to him.

Your footsteps weren’t the most quiet ones, so he didn’t take long to notice them. He turned around out of curiosity, only to be suddenly engulf into a big bear hug. He laughed heartily and thought that you were adorable, hugging you back just as tight.

You buried your face into his chest and his scent surrounded you in a way that made you feel light and dizzy.

“I miss you.” He spoke softly before proceeding to give you a soft kiss on your head.

This made you smile, and you had to pull yourself away from his chest so that you could take a look of the face you’ve missed.

The first thing you notice was his eyes. Li Nong was staring at you with the usual way he does and you swear you were going to choke and die from how much affection his eyes were drowning you in.

Still, you also noted that his dark circles were more prominent and he had lost some of his baby fats.

Honestly? He looked exhausted.

“You alright?” you asked worriedly.

He continued staring at your face for a long while before smiling and lying straight into your face, “I’m fine.”

“Tell me, what are you feeling right now?” you tried again.

“I’m happy, because I get to see you.”

You softened at his reply, knowing that it held some truth to it, “Me too, but I know that there’s something’s wrong.”

“I’m just kind of tired.”

“Not getting enough sleep?”

“Mm.”

By then, you both were holding hands and walking through the park that held many of your memories.

After a moment of silence, Li Nong spoke again, “Have you heard anything about me?”

With that, your heart broke a little as you remembered the horrible things people said about him.

He stopped walking and turned to you to observe your face, worry evident in his eyes.

“They’re not true.” he told you, sincerity overflowing from his words.

You gave his hand a squeeze as a sign of assurance, "I know."

The worried look on his face didn't change and so you tried once again , "I know you, you're nothing like those stupid rumours. And if anyone cares to know the true you, they won't either, because those rumours don't define you."

"But the thing is, there are people who actually believe them. And I know I shouldn't bother with what they say but it's really hard not to let it affect me. And it makes me question whether I even deserve to be among the current top nine."

You kept quiet and listened , noting that his voice held deep sadness to them. Looking at his face, you also could see stress taking a huge toll on him.

You let go of his hand. Then, with your two hands, you cupped his face and tilted it downwards so that he was looking right into your eyes.

"You've worked very hard, and even if those people can't see how hard you've worked, I do. And it's not only me, your family who loves you does too. Not to mention, you have your fans full support. Believe me, I have seen brave fans standing up for you and also kind fans that never stop encouraging you."

You gave him a reassuring smile, "Whether or not you deserve to be on the top nine, no one can say anything about it because there are people voted for you to be there, alright?"

"Yeah, but-"

You interrupted him by squishing his cheeks, "Look, everyone has their own reasons of why they like you. It doesn't matter whether it's because you are attractive or because you are talented, those are their reasons and you couldn't force them to think otherwise, okay?"

He took a moment to process your speech and looked at you with uncertainty. Still, you do not look away, trying to assure him that everything you said were nothing but truth.

And once again, you prompted him to accept your word vomit filled with underlying flattery.

"Okay?" You asked gently, hoping to get your point accross.

His facial expressions softened and the corners of his lips lifted up into a small smile, "Okay" he replied as he nodded.

And you slowly rubbed his face with your thumb, "Now that's the smile that I love."

Li Nong smiled from ear to ear at the sound of your comment, but felt a bit bashful. You , on the other hand, felt butterflies in your stomach. A warm feeling slowly settled in your heart as you both kept eye contact with each other.

You loved how Li Nong was somehow still kind of shy when he was already in a relationship with you.

Then, you noticed the way his gaze briefly lowered to your lips and you felt all jittery when he looked back up to you.

"I want to kiss you." He stated, as a matter of fact.

He gently wrapped his hands around your waist, stepping closer to you and yet still not tearing his eyes away from you, "Um, may I?"

You loved how he was so polite about it. You didn't want to be too shy, but somehow Li Nong holding you in his hands had melted your insides. Not trusting yourself to speak, you nodded meekly.

He smiled and leaned forward, letting his lips meet yours. You felt like you were going crazy with how soft his lips were on yours, and even more when his lips lingered as he pulled away.

The two of you looked at each other for a while before bursting into small giggles, never looking away from each other.

His eyes shimmered with adoration for you, and he kept his hands around you securely.

At that moment, Li Nong knew exactly what he wanted for the future. He wanted to wake up every-day with you in his arms and he wanted to always be able to have you near to him.

With you by his side, he sincerely believes that everything will be fine and somehow, everything will get even better.

[half-bakedboy]

everything that i want (but didn't think i'd find)

Chapter Six

Rated: Teen Warnings: None Summary: Combat medic, Izzy, worked side by side with her pilot brother, Alec, to ensure the safety of the country and the most important people in their lives; their family.

Alec was starting a family with Magnus—a man Izzy never imagined her brother ending up with—and when the opportunity for them to get married on short notice during Izzy and Alec's summer block leave, Izzy couldn't have been happier for them. Izzy and Alec would make their way home to celebrate the momentous occasion and Izzy could leave everything behind without a second thought like she had when she was eighteen.

Falling in love with Magnus' sister, Clary, was never part of her plan and that threw her off kilter.

To say things were perfect was both an exaggeration and an understatement. 

It was an exaggeration because things had never worked out for Izzy before. She was waiting for the other shoe to drop, for something to blast either her or Clary out of the happiness bubble they had been in the last few days. 

It was an understatement because every single moment Izzy spent with Clary was everything she could have wished it to be. 

After the waterfall trip, they spent even more time getting to know each other under the guise of prepping for their brothers’ wedding. They were helping Alec and Magnus out as much as possible which really meant sneaking behind Maryse’s back to make sure the two of them could have the wedding they had dreamed of and not the wedding Izzy’s mother wanted for them. 

In that time, Izzy fell even more for the feisty and talented redhead that wormed her way into Izzy’s life. It was impossible for her to stop once she had let her guard down. Every second spent with Clary had her heart flipping and her stomach filled with butterflies she never expected to feel. She hadn’t let herself truly feel so much for another person in years but with Clary, it felt… easy. Like there was no universe in which the two of them didn’t connect the way they had since they met. Everything was so wonderful that Izzy had forgotten why she had kept people at arm’s length in the first place. 

That was until Maryse showed up on her doorstep one afternoon a few days before the wedding. Izzy panicked, eyes darting around to where she had the boys’ newly fixed suits and the golden and blue accents decorating every inch of the living room. She backed away from the door, hoping that Maryse would give up, waiting but she should have known that would never happen. 

“I know you’re here, Isabelle. I saw you through the window even through the horrendous colors you’ve got around. Let me in,” Maryse chastised and Izzy winced. 

Clary peaked her head out and whispered, “Should I go?” 

“Grab the suits and hide them in your room. I can handle the rest,” Izzy said, acting quickly by pushing the wheeled mannequin housing Alec’s suit after Clary as she did the same to Magnus’. “Just one minute, mom. Clary just needed help with something. I’ll be right there.” 

“I don’t have all day, Isabelle,” Maryse said, her tone clearly unimpressed. Unfortunately, Izzy knew the sound all too well. 

“I’ll be here if you need me,” Clary reassured. She ran her hand smoothly down Izzy’s arm before squeezing her hand. The small gesture was enough to calm Izzy as she made her way over to the front entryway, letting out a breath when she heard Clary’s bedroom door shut behind her. 

“It’s about time,” Maryse said, clicking her tongue as she pushed her way inside. 

“Please, come in,” Izzy muttered with a roll of her eyes. A passerby would have thought Maryse witnessed murder with the dramatic gasp that left her lips, her perfectly manicured hands covering her mouth. 

“What happened to the vases? The napkins? Even the tablecloths have been ruined?! Isabelle—”

“Izzy—” She corrected, though it didn’t really matter because Maryse continued on. 

“—Your brother is going to be devastated when he sees what you’ve done to his wedding!” 

“Alec wan—” Izzy composed herself with a breath, not willing to throw her brother under the bus when their mother was already strung out. “I wanted it to be a surprise. These are the colors they associate with one another and I thought it would be—”

“Oh, you thought? Did you ever think about what this would do to your brother?” Maryse asked before scoffing. “Of course you didn’t because you only ever think about yourself, just like you always have.”

“Are you kidding me?” Izzy asked.

“I’ll have to talk to your father,” she began as she tore at the banner on the wall that Clary had worked incredibly hard on. “He can probably order us some new centerpieces and table arrangements in black and white, possibly get a rushed order in through one of his contacts.”

Izzy could practically see the wheels turning in her head as she destroyed the carefully crafted centerpieces that would house the painted flowers they specially ordered. She wanted to scream, to stop Maryse from ruining something else in her brother’s life, but her mother’s words were spiraling around her head and she couldn’t stop them. 

“How could you be so selfish? Alec and Magnus trusted you to make their day perfect and now you and that gypsy sister of—”

“Clary isn’t—”

“I would notice her handiwork anywhere, Isabelle. There’s no need to defend her. I can see her influence on you already. You’ve always been one to go against everything you’ve been taught so I should’ve figured you’d let her ways cloud your judgment,” Maryse said easily as if Izzy wasn’t about to spit fire. 

“Her ways? What exactly is that supposed to mean, mother?” Izzy pushed. 

Maryse waved her hand and said consideringly, “You know how artists can be. They’re flighty and like to pull people down with them on their journey to nowhere. That’s not who you are, Isabelle. You’re going to do great things once you can transfer over to med school and—”

“ Enough!”

“Isabelle,” Maryse shouted back, “what has gotten into you?” 

Izzy scoffed, “I’m trying to protect my brother from our overbearing mother. That’s what’s gotten into me!”

“Overbearing? Because I want my children to reach their full potential and won’t settle for less?” Maryse retorted like that was an actual argument for her case. 

“We’re not settling, mom. Can’t you see that? Alec isn’t settling for Magnus and we’re not settling in our careers. Everyone else in the world can see that we’re happy and satisfied with what we’ve done with our lives except for the one person that is supposed to care about that.”

“You think I don’t care about you now? Why would I allow this wedding to happen if I didn’t care? Why would I try to convince both of my children to not risk their lives every day if I didn’t care, Isabelle.”

“Izzy,” she interjected, but that didn’t stop Maryse from pointlessly defending herself. 

“You always do this, both of you. I do my best to keep this family together and you all pull away from me like I’m the problem—”

“Because you don’t keep us together, mom!” Izzy yelled exasperatedly. “All you do is push us away, from you and dad.”

“It’s not my fault that you’re not as close with your father anymore, Isabelle. When are you going to stop blaming me for that?”

“How about once you stop blaming us for your crappy relationship with him?” Izzy shot back. 

Maryse gasped and shouted, “You will stop talking to me this way right this instant!”

“It’s a miracle it’s taken me this long. Alec and I have done everything in our power to try and maintain the relationship we have with you and all you do is push . You push us away, you push us in directions we don’t want to go, you push at our insecurities and our weaknesses. You’re barely a parent anymore, mom,” Izzy admitted, tears welling up in her eyes. 

“I didn’t— I don’t— That’s not true, Isabelle.”

“ Izzy,” she corrected immediately, “Everyone calls me Izzy and I’m a combat medic in the United States Army with no plans to be a doctor. And my brother, Alec? He’s one of the best pilots the military has ever seen and he’s never going to follow in dad’s footsteps like you keep trying to force him to.”

“Is— Izzy,” Maryse whispered, shaking her head and pressing a hand over her chest. 

“Alec is getting married to a wonderful man who has an extremely talented and kind and practically perfect sister that I’m falling in love with. Magnus and Clary aren’t going anywhere,” Izzy ignored Maryse’s gasp in favor of walking to the door and holding it open, “and if you can’t accept either of those facts, you need to leave. Now.”

Without another word—like Izzy had been expecting—Maryse walked out the door, a mixture of anger and sadness in her eyes that wasn’t enough to have Izzy feeling anything but relieved by her disappearance. She shut the door and leaned back against it, sliding down until she was sitting on the ground. Her eyes were closed, but she still heard the soft click of Clary’s door opening and the gentle patter of socked feet making their way over. 

“If you’re going to ask if I’m okay, the answer is yes,” Izzy said, still not bothering to open her eyes. Her head and heart hurt a little too much to deal with the brightness of the apartment or the sympathetic look she was bound to see on Clary’s face. 

“I was going to say that you’re incredibly brave for standing up to her like that; for yourself, for Alec, for… me.” Clary slid down the wall next to Izzy before reaching over to lace their fingers together slowly, as if giving Izzy that chance to pull away. She wouldn’t have dreamed of it. 

“I guess it’s pointless to hope you didn’t hear all of that?” Izzy asked, a small humorless laugh escaping her lips. 

“It was kind of hard not to,” Clary muttered, “but I’m glad I heard what I did. I know I don’t know the entire story, but I’m really proud of you.”

“For alienating my mother even further?” Izzy leaned her head against Clary’s shoulder, reveling in the comfort it provided her. She wasn’t sure when Clary became one of the only people in the world who could calm her, but she was immensely grateful for her and the way she leaned right back. 

“No,” Clary whispered, pressing a soft kiss to Izzy’s hair, “for being as strong as you are. I’m proud of you for not relenting to her even though it’s clear you care about her and what she thinks of you—” Before Izzy could deny that, Clary shot her a glare and said quickly, “You don’t have to pretend with me, Izzy. I know you care about very few people and unfortunately, Maryse is in that group.” 

“You are, too,” Izzy said; quietly, but surely. Clary nodded and nudged Izzy’s chin up with her fingers gently. She placed a delicate kiss onto Izzy’s lips that seemed to ease every pound of stress off of her shoulders and caused her stomach to flutter with happiness. 

“I heard you… What you said,” Clary whispered, stopping Izzy with another soft kiss on her lips when Izzy tried to turn away in embarrassment. She brushed their noses together and scrunched up her face in that adorable way Izzy loved before she continued, “I wasn’t sure, you know. You spent so much of this summer dealing with me, I didn’t think that—”

“After I took you to the waterfall? My self-proclaimed favorite safe place? After that kiss? You still thought I didn’t like you?” Izzy asked, flabbergasted by how oblivious Clary was proving to be. 

Clary blushed and hid her face in Izzy’s shoulder, muttering, “I knew you at least thought I was pretty.” 

“That’s one word for it,” Izzy said with a roll of her eyes. She pulled Clary’s face away from her neck so she could look into her beautiful green eyes and make sure she really heard the sincerity in her voice. “I think you’re beautiful. I think you’re what I had been searching for my entire life, but never let myself have. I spent the entirety of this summer loving the hell out of you, unable to stop it, so,” Izzy took a deep breath in and held Clary’s hands firmer in her own, “this is me, giving in and telling you that I—”

“I love you, too!” Clary interrupted like she couldn’t wait to tell Izzy the good news. 

Clary kissed her more fervently than she had ever been kissed and crawled into her lap as if she couldn’t stand for any part of their body to not be touching, but Izzy didn’t mind. She wrapped her arms around Clary’s back and kissed her back just as passionately, threading one of her hands through Clary’s fiery hair and running her tongue along her bottom lip slowly.

Izzy wasn’t sure how long they sat there, Clary nestled in her lap while her back was still against the front door, but neither of them seemed to care. 

Until a knock resounded through the room and down Izzy’s spine that was still connected to the door. 

“Do we want to know what you’re doing down there?” Magnus’ voice teased through the door. 

“One second!” Izzy yelled, wincing as Clary stood and pulled her up with her. 

Her legs were like jelly—from Clary on her lap or from Clary on her lap , she couldn’t be sure—as she fixed her shirt that had ridden up her stomach. Clary flattened out her dark hair and Izzy couldn’t resist doing the same to the red strands that flew in every direction from Izzy’s fingers. She also couldn’t resist kissing her again, both of their giggles resounding through the apartment. 

“If you want us to come back later…” Magnus began, but Alec gagged exaggeratedly before he could finish. 

“This is still technically my apartment and I still have a key. I swear to god if you two are anything but fully clothed, I’m going to—”

“Will you relax, big brother?” Izzy teased as she slowly pulled the door open, laughing as Alec pushed his way in. 

“Your darling mother called, insisted that you were ruining the wedding, and then hung up,” Magnus explained because Alec was too busy going through all of the decorations and centerpieces before attempting to find the tuxes. 

“Did she see them? Did she take them?” Alec asked, panicked. Izzy could hear it in his tone, see it in the way he stood up soldier straight even with Magnus’ comforting hand on her shoulder. As if sensing Izzy’s own anxiety tick up, he asked, “Are you okay?” 

“Your mother is a piece of work and it’s a miracle that both of you are so damn likable,” Clary interjected, sliding her hand into Izzy’s. They ignored the way that Alec and Magnus’ eyes both darted to where they were joined. 

“She came here and was less than happy at the new plan. I’m sorry, Alec, I tried to convince her—”

“What did she say to you?” Alec asked, guilt replacing the panic. 

“It was nothing I couldn’t handle, Alec,” Izzy said, though even she had a hard time believing it. 

“She was amazing and your mother left here with her ass handed to her,” Clary chimed in, a bright smile on her face that Izzy couldn’t help but match. She blushed and that time, Magnus took notice verbally. 

“Alright, do we have to give you guys the talk?” Magnus asked. 

Clary scoffed, “I’m pretty sure neither of us are blushing virgins, bro.”

“That’s not what he meant, Fray,” Alec choked out, both Lightwoods blushing wildy at Clary’s words. 

“Oh, I know, but it was important to me that I made you both as uncomfortable as possible.” 

Izzy stopped for a moment, just admiring the way her brother swatted playfully at her… girlfriend. If that’s what they were. It must have been, really, because Izzy didn’t want her to be anything else. She watched as Magnus wrapped his manicured fingers around Alec’s bicep and pulled him away and the way Alec slumped into Magnus’ shoulder like he’d just been witness to a horrible crime. 

As per usual, her eyes found Clary. But that time, Clary was staring right back at her. 

There was a mixture of concern and awe, a hesitation in the way she bit down on her lip like she shouldn’t be smiling even though it was the only thing keeping Izzy sane. She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Clary’s waist before pulling her in and placing a passionate kiss on her lips. She ignored the way their brothers gagged (Alec) and cheered (Magnus) in the distance in favor of focusing on how Clary fell into her like they were made to be wrapped around each other. 

After a few minutes, the noise stopped and as Izzy pulled away, she tried to find Alec and Magnus, worried for a moment that they had left. Instead, she saw them sitting on Clary’s bed, wrapped up in each other just as much as she and Clary had been, with velvet boxes in each of their hands. 

“I forgot to tell them we got the final wedding rings in,” Clary whispered as she rested her head on Izzy’s shoulder and wrapped an arm around her waist. Izzy tossed hers over Clary’s shoulder and leaned her head so that her lips could press against Clary’s beautifully bright hair. 

“They love each other so much, don’t they?” Izzy asked. 

She had believed it, seen it with her own two eyes before that moment, but something about the way they grew even closer each second Izzy saw them together had her believing in soulmates for the first time. 

When she glanced over to see Clary gazing at her, she believed it for the second. 

“You know,” Clary began, pressing a kiss to Izzy’s hand as she led her to the couch, giving their brothers the moment that they deserved, “Magnus was right about one thing,” she said. 

Izzy glanced over at Clary, smiling when she lifted their joined hands to her lips to place a gentle kiss on the back of Izzy’s. 

“What’s that?” Izzy asked.

“He said that the wedding could be nothing less than perfect because Alec left you in charge,” she explained. Then, after a moment, she added, “He also said that you were going to be exactly the kind of person I needed in my life.”

“And was he right about that, too?” Izzy asked, knowing her voice was more hopeful than it had ever been. 

Clary nodded and whispered, “Yeah, you’re everything.” 

[monsterloveday]

Single life - the good and the bad.

The good and bad sides to single life. It absolutely has both, as does everything in life. There seems to be some kind of war between singles and coupled folk, as if they are trying to get one up on each other, to prove that their life is considerably ‘better’ than their opponents.

This bothers me. It bothers me because life isn't that rigid or consistent, life moves, and so do all of our situations. There is also the need to consider that people are so different, you know the saying, “one mans treasure” and all that. For some, my single life is their idea of a worst knight mare, simile, a nuclear family at the age of 25 would be mine.

Its nothing personal I guess, I think its just taken that way when people try and force their way of life on you, or assume you are miserable because you haven't got what they have, this goes without saying the people that straight up judge you for whatever your life circumstance - they can do one (and my oh my, there are many of them!). There are definitely times for me where being single is actually epic and others where it actually sucks balls.

I will share them with you. Bad points... Lack of touch. This one is strange for me, because I haven't been touched for so long, that Ive grown used to it, yet I still crave it from time to time (usually in the winter). BUT if I ever do get touched or if someone tried to hug me or something, it weirds me out now, that I find it unnecessary because I have gone so long without it!. Its definitely made me less affectionate and less expectant to receive affection. That part of me has kind of died.  I think I have associated touch / affection to do with only a partner - which is bad. (lets just say I am no longer a ‘hugger’) 

You also become very observant. All the “Netflix and chills” / “lets cuddle up on the sofa”, comments you so often see on social media or hear among all your coupled up friends and family members (yes I am pretty much the only single one left out of friends and family - which I will mention later on as its an issue in itself!) are a little punch in the heart. You kind of become a little bit bitter that some people have that certain someone that they can come and hug after a really shit day - and how some really take that for granted. Little things are so huge and not many people get that. I think that the people that have had a real good amount of time of being single understand this. Love is not something you are owed, but for some it just falls in their laps and they have never had to live life coping on their own. (You definitely get annoyed at people who take love for granted and people who cheat etc!) But - being deprived of something makes you learn to live without it - its a educational, saddening yet strengthening double edged sword. I cant even remember what snuggling up to a man feels like and they say that touch is actually something that humans need and that it releases the ‘feel good’ hormone - perhaps lack of touch does really do things to humans?. I believe so. Feeling Safe. Now, I think in my whole relationship / dating life, only one man made me feel safe and it was wonderful. Im not saying that women can not feel safe without a man - absolutely not. But there is something so damn sexy and reassuring when you can actually feel a mans strength (in his body and mind) and you know he has your back. When you walk down the street, you know there will be no shit from no one, as you are with him. That when you're in his arms - you feel completely and utterly safe, it makes you feel so feminine. Nothing can get you, and you breathe a sigh of relief, thats all is well, because you are there, with him.  I miss that, even if just for a minute I could have that again. All of your family and friends are pretty much hooked up. Gone are the days of going out and flirting with a group of guys, because all of your mates are at home with their others half's sucking dick or fanny. This also adds to the struggles of trying to ‘get out there’ as you’d be on the prowl alone - not attractive. When all your mates hook up, it kills your social life too, I miss the nights of going out dressed up all girly, dancing the night away and flirting / kissing with drunken guys.

There is no one to talk to when you have those ‘Im feeling crappy about being single’ moments because no one gets it because no one is in your situation. You will also never get a break from being surrounded by couples, family gatherings = couples everywhere, meeting with friends = couples everywhere. You have to become accustomed to always being the third, forth and fifth wheel when with family and friends. There was once a New Years Eve party where at midnight, everyone was obviously eating face and there I was - twat face, the only single person sat there hating my existence and wallowing in self pitty. (Holidays are the WORST for being single) This is not to say I dont love my friends and family but sometimes you just wish you had some single pals to break away from the constant reminders or someone to really open up to and that they understand, its tiring to always put on this brave face when really you just want to say you feel like shit. Theres also the chance coupled friends will get offended if you need to vent about always being the single one - its not personal, sometimes we just need to express ourselves. Sometimes you just wonder if you are destined to live life solo Perhaps it isn't happening because its not supposed to?, that you are actually happier alone?. Its happened to everyone else so easily so there must be a reason its not happening to you?. To you, its like climbing mount everest, yet to most, its as easy as 1,2,3!. That in the time you have been single, others have gone through about 3 relationships that have started, ended and then they have found ‘the one’ and got married, yet you cant even find A date?. Am I an alien? I must be doing everything wrong?. The longer it goes on for the more convinced you become that it will never happen and you kind of begrudgingly, make peace with it and stop trying and just live your own life. Confidence Sometimes, only sometimes you wonder what is wrong with you and that you are just not fanciable / fuckable / loveable. Those thoughts can fuck off - Im fucking awesome. You get so good at being single that you think you'd be crap at relationships The thought of having to share a bed with someone makes you want to die. What if they snore?. What If Im ill and I just need to do smelly farts all night and toss and turn without worrying that Im going to keep someone awake? What if I want a wank and I cant because THEY are there?! Omg would that mean we would have to arrange shower times in the morning?, Im not fucking sharing a shower with him! Oh man imagine someone constantly texting you even though you see them all the ruddy time? - just fuck off!. And having to see someone all the time?! Someone demanding my time from me? oh god I cant deal!. Gone would be the days of just going where ever I want without explaining myself to anyone! - Ive got too used to only thinking of me, Im too selfish to change that now! and whats more - ID HAVE TO FUCKING SHAVE AND GET MY BODY OUT. Man I’d be so shit at sex =\ and Id have to tell them I love them!. So. Many. Vulnerable. Feelings. Stay. Up. Walls!. Finance All those people who share bills, rent etc. Not everyone would have had an opportunity to move out if they didn't have their significant other, especially in this day and age of expense!. I can also say as a single person it is ruddy annoying having to cash out on everyone else's other half's / kids etc. Whereas presents for you are ‘from both of us’. My single life benefits everyone else's pockets when it comes to christmas! GAH!.  I get SO JEALOUS when I hear someone say that their other half is picking them up from work or cooking for them that night, I WISH I had that!. Fuck buses, walking the dog then having to cook for myself - food NEVER comes for single people, just try getting a bag of spinach for one! so much waste!. Good Points... My Flange is probably really tight  Its so out of use its like its brand new. I dont have to shave for anyone and it is marvellous.  I dont have to get my body out to worry what someone else thinks of it, nor do I have to worry if Im up the duff (although I use precautions, that worry is ALWAYS there, wondering, freaking the hell out, wondering when my period will ever come etc). Its a worry that is brilliant to not have to think about - nor do I have to think about the ruddy pill (no thanks!). Also - self service! =P Your independence and strength will sky rocket You really dont understand how some people freak out when they have to do things alone. For you, doing things alone is such an adventure / enjoyable experience. Yes I go out to dinner, the cinema, weekend breaks alone and its not weird my dears. I love how I can plan anything at anytime. Your strength builds up and up when your doing everything for yourself and it is really liberating and you realise that people that also have this quality are very rare. It makes you very strong and independent and independent people are sexy. =p You are as free as a bird - go fly!. I do what I want and I can order pizza at 3am and eat it in bed if I wish. (what a plan!). I could go travel for months on end if I wanted, I could move to a completely new place and chat up randomers if I so wished too and answer to no one. I could shave all my hair off and pork a load of girls just for fun. Learn a new instrument / get a hobby / go to evenings classes etc - because you CAN. I hear friends who have kids say how they would love to do the smallest of things like have a night to themselves, to go to the cinema or just go shopping, and I realise that I too, take small things for granted and I need to embrace my single life more.  What I do is completely my choice and my choice alone - no hold backs. It feels so good. Finance Yes there is a factor of finance on this side of the spectrum! Your money is YOURS. Go spend a butt load on a new jacket if you want. Go spend £70 on a hair cut if you want. Whats more, you save money on not having to buy hair removal stuff! No birthday or christmas presents on your other half - or dates, or nothing! Save up that spare cash and do something worth while - like get tattoos all over your body ;P - priorities darling, that is YOU! =P. You have control of your own wellbeing One of the biggest issues for me when in relationships / seeing someone was how their actions / treatment towards me effected my wellbeing. I hated that they had so much power to hurt me because my feelings for them were so deep. I hated being so vulnerable and how my happiness was so reliant on how they chose to treat me. With single life problems, they are mostly what you have brought upon yourself, and sorting your own shit out makes you stronger and not dealing with someone else's bullcrap is a breath of fresh air =) So, these are some of my good and bad points, I really could have gone on for forever!. My unshaven flange enjoys parts, and doesn't with other parts. I want to say that its completely human to have weak times about things - like wanting to be hugged sometimes does not make you needy! (I hate that theres so much name calling for humans wanting to be humans!) Whats your favourite thing and hate about your relationship status? Be back soon. Jay Monster.