#'i know what you've really been thinking this whole time in scratching the itch and midnight trepidations'

[remyfire]

I have had the most spectacular time writing a really confident Beej in STAE, but let me tell you, getting to make him melt into pure babbling babygirl mode is giving me life right now

[bi-writes]

I think first make out session of Simon and his mail order bride happened because she wore sundress all day ~~ i'm a bit addicted to the way you writing Simon

mail-order bride

reader described as curvier/plus-sized 18+

simon has gotten away with a lot of things ever since he married you. he's kept a respectful distance; gentle touches, affectionate ones, sure, but it's been easy to brush off the itch in the back of his head ever since he scratched it just enough when he kissed you for the first time.

when the itch becomes too severe, he's been able to hide away for a little while; running it out of his system working out, shaking it off in the field, drinking so it quiets when he makes his way to the pub.

but it's gotten a lot harder lately to pretend he doesn't see you for what you are.

a pretty girl.

he tells you that you're pretty all the time. in the mornings when you're still waking up. sitting at the counter as you watch him make sandwiches for lunch. pushing the cart in the aisle at the market, picking out the right cuts of meat or seeing which crisps you both can enjoy for movie night. and you are pretty all those times, all the time, in fact, and you were pretty when he kissed you, too.

but fuck. you're also...you're also so fucking pretty.

simon kicks off his boots at the front door, holding a few paper bags in his hands from his trip to the store. the weather has been getting warmer, summer creeping by (his most dreaded season since it forces him to take off layers he'd rather keep), and you had been begging simon for some sweet icy treats and a water fountain for the cat (it'll keep her from drinking out of your water glasses, simon).

when he steps into the kitchen, you're coming in from the backyard, flowers in your hands that the neighbor must have given you.

and you're wearing the cutest little white and red sundress (and suddenly he doesn't hate summer so much anymore).

it's got a cherry pattern on it and puffy sleeves. the bodice hugs you until the middle, where it fans out in a pillowy skirt, stopping just above your knees. there's a soft bow tied around the back, but simon really can't help himself from his eyes that narrow in on your figure and how incredible you look with the sunlight behind you.

"hi, simon," you coo, and simon glares, fucking tease. he has an inkling you don't even know what you're doing to him, you can't, not with that sweet little smile and the way you rock onto your toes. you even tied your hair up with a bow, and simon can't help but feel like you're his little gift, all wrapped up just for him.

one he wants to pluck, unravel until you reveal whatever you've been hiding underneath it all--

"oh! look it! oh, simon!" you giggle, grabbing the bag from him when you see the box that pokes out of it. you pull out a sweet, red ice lolly, cherry-flavored, and you lean up on your toes to give simon a big, wet kiss on his cheek before sucking it into your mouth. "mmm...thank you...just what i needed, it's so warm today."

bloody fuckin' christ.

your tongue is so pink. it's sliding up the edge of it until you suck it back into your mouth, and simon lets out the shakiest breath. it's unlike him, and you turn to face him fully when you notice the way he's staring at you. he looks good today, dark denim jeans and a wrinkled white t-shirt that stretches around his big arms, and your eyes dart to his tattoo sleeve for just a moment before you smile back up at him.

"what?" you ask him gently. "you want some?"

instead of offering him his own lolly, you simply tilt yours in his direction. he huffs, letting out an irritated laugh before he leans forward a licks a fat stripe up the side of the cherry ice.

you smile a little as he does, and you don't even realize your gaze has dropped. you're eyeing the way his mouth moves, taking in the hinge of his jaw and the light stubble along it and the scar that stretches across his whole face that you kiss sometimes when he falls asleep before you.

he groans a little as he takes a bite of the lolly, and you seize at the sound, dropping the lolly into the sink on accident as you scramble to look up at him. you stare at each other, lidded brown eyes just piercing into your own. you're quiet for only a few more moments before you're throwing yourself at him.

he nearly slams you against the closest wall. your back hits it firmly, rattling the pictures that hang there, and you throw your arms around his neck as he kisses you feverishly. his hands slide down your waist to your lower back, and you stand on your toes, his palms cupping your ass before he picks you up with ease, guiding your plush thighs to wrap around his waist as he holds you there.

you don't know how long you kiss against the wall, but you're breathless when he pulls away. you chase him, kissing along his nose, his cheek, any of the skin that you can get, and simon grunts lowly, cradling the back of your neck.

"we shouldn't," he mutters.

"why not?" you whine, and he hisses, looking into your eyes, hungry, big man, struggling to keep himself away from you. but it isn't what you want, you want him to kiss you, you want more, more, more--

you stand back on your toes, pushing him backwards. simon follows you, his hands bunched around the skirt of your dress as you walk him further into the living room until the couch hits the back of his knees, and he sits with a heavy breath. you bend to go sit in his lap, and simon curses under his breath, leaning his head back against the couch as your cleavage crowds his line of sight.

"fuckin' christ, baby," simon says lowly, running a rough hand over his face. he grunts when you take a seat in his lap, stretching your knees to straddle him, and you cage him in with your arms as you guide his chin back down so you can kiss him. you slot your mouth over his, kissing him lazily, and when you press your chest against his, he breathes out heavily when he feels your pebbled nipples through your dress. "fuck--fuck, fuck--"

"not yet," you giggle between kisses, and simon groans audibly as he slips two big hands under your dress and grabs both sides of your ass, his fingertips slipping under the lace of your panties so he can get a warm feel of you. you sit yourself down deeper in his lap, and you pull away slowly when you feel him underneath you.

he blinks his eyes open slowly, and you tentatively sit a little more in his lap, your eyes widening a little when you feel him between your thighs.

holy fucking shit--

"jesus," you stutter, and he looks away from you, ears reddening, and you're quick to cup his cheeks to bring his eyes back to you. you smile a little, leaning in again, and you press your forehead to his before giving him the gentlest grind of your hips. "oh--simon--" you kiss him again, soft, whispering against his lips, "s-so...you're so--"

"mhm," he nods, and you move so your lips are against his ear, giving him a light kiss where his jaw and neck meet.

"i'd say you're too big for me," you sigh, closing your eyes, "but i'm a riley now." you giggle. "'n we can handle anything..can't we, simon?"

"shit--"

you squeak a little when he wraps a hand in your hair and tugs, pressing your pelvis to his as he ruts his hips up against yours. you kiss him hard, slipping your tongue into his mouth, and he chokes on his moans, big arms keeping you pressed to him as he pants into your mouth.

he stills, face a little scrunched up as he sits there with you. you keep kissing him lazily, exploring the way he tastes, licking over his teeth and bottom lip, up until he pushes you just that much away and groans in frustration.

your eyes open, and you giggle, and simon smooths his hands up the bodice of your dress, his eyes blown wide as he takes in how pretty you look in it. pretty little angel in his lap, a nice weight to ground him as he tries not to think about the mess he's made of himself.

"i assume you like the dress?" you ask, and when you laugh, simon can see the red on your tongue from the lolly. he knows if he kisses you again and sucks on your pretty tongue, you'll taste like that awful cherry, taste as sugar-sweet as you really are. simon leans back a little, propping you up on his thighs, shaking his head as he runs a big hand down his solid middle.

"well," simon mutters. "'aven't cum in my fuckin' pants since i was a bloody kid, so i'd say so."

"w-wha--! simon!"

you cover your eyes, overcome with shyness, with warmth, not believing really that anyone could you want that much. that anyone could really want you at all.

but when you laugh, he does, too.

[kookslastbutton]

Lovin' You Right ༓ jjk (m)

✑ Summary: Your new badass neighbor won't leave you alone. You know the type, the guy your mama wouldn't want you bringing home. He'd break your heart as quick as he'd take it.

Pairing: new neighbor!jungkook x fem!reader

AU/genre: angst, fluff, smut, e2l, neighbors, oneshot/drabble

Word Count: 2,031

Warnings: cussing, dom!jungkook, sub!reader, missionary, praising, rough s*x, d*rty talk, sp*nking overst*mulation, reader's first-time, sl*t calling once, oc a bit of an uptight b at first, little manhandling, jk rides a motorcylce, jk giving it to oc straight, a very wet date bc MV made me do it

Now Playing: seven by jjk

A/N: no explanation, this is just what i thought of when i listened to jungkook's song 'seven'. Hope you enjoy! 💞

He looked like a real hard ass with all the black leather he wore, arms covered in ink, and chains hanging from his neck. You know the type, the guy your mama wouldn't want you bringing home.

He was your next-door neighbor and he rode a mean motorcycle. It was loud as fuck and woke you up about ten times during the night. And every time he saw you in the hallway? He'd have this shit-eating grin on, like he wanted to devour you whole.

"Think our mail got switched up again," he said, handing you a pile of letters. "Gonna need to talk to the mail man or somethin'."

"Oh geez," you replied, doing your best to avoid eye contact of more than three seconds–his eyes were just a little too piercing. "Thanks." You shoved the letters under your arm and carried on your way. It was laundry day and you desperately needed to have clean clothes.

"Hey wait," he kept on your trail. "How's your day goin'?" He rushed ahead to open the laundry room door, allowing you to go first.

Look at him trying to be a gentleman, hmph. You held your head high and walked through the door. He'd break your heart as quick as he'd take it.

.

Like an itch that won't go away, Jungkook followed you as much as he could. No matter how much you scratched, he'd be right there, burning holes in the back of your neck. He'd watch you dump your clothes in the washer, walk you to your car whenever you needed to go anywhere, hell he even helped you carry in groceries when given the chance.

"What do you want Jeon?" You finally popped the question. He didn't look like he was simply "being generous" or "doing his part to make the world better". He was bumming around for something, he had to be.

"Go out with me," he simply quipped, knocking the air out of your lungs.

"Excuse me?"

He rolled his eyes, he was too old for beating around the bush and he was fed up with you giving him the silent finger. Not once have you told him to beat it straight to his face so he's gonna shoot his shot. "Yes or no __? You know I like you, why else would I be bugging the crap out of you?"

"'Cause you want to fuck me then leave me for your other neighbor, the one who lives on the other side of your door." You crossed your arms against your chest. "Tell me I'm wrong."

He narrowed his eyes, tiniest of smirks on his overly gorgeous, no good, lying face. " No you're right. I do wanna fuck that pretentious attitude you got. It's been pissing me off for weeks."

He took a step towards you, caging you between himself and your kitchen island. "What gives you the right to be this bitchy huh? You act like you know everything there is to know about me, but you're too damn stubborn to open your eyes and see it's all a complete farce." He leaned his head forward to graze his lips along the edge of your ear. "I don't know what little girl fairytales you've been taught but I'm not the monster you need to watch out for....and prince charmings don't exist, princess."

You shoved your hands against his chest but he grips them tight in his own. "We don't have to go out anymore. I see what you really think of me."

He released your wrist and headed for the door. "It's really a shame," he hollered before leaving. "You're really beautiful."

God you hated him.

.

For the next week, Jungkook was no where in sight. He didn't come see you, he didn't bring you anything, he went completely M.I.A. It was a breath of fresh air but by the second week, you wondered where he was and if he was okay. He did drive a motocylce afterall, maybe he got in an accident and you didn't know.

You stared at his door, hesistant to knock in fear if him actually being in there. He'd likely laugh you off when he saw you, so you purposefully picked a time he'd most likely be out and about anyway. You hated that you kinda knew his schedule.

Jungkook quirked an amused brow at you when he finally cranked his door open. He was wearing light washed jeans and no under shirt, his pecs were on full display. "What can I do for you princess?"

"Nothing," you spat, definitely not looking below his thick neck. "Just wanted to make sure you didn't do anything stupid yet."

"Checking up on me huh?" He put an elbow on the door frame, eyes darkening. "That's sweet."

"Fuck off. You're healthy it seems so I'm gonna go check up on the other neighbors now. I think Mrs. Baker set the fire alrms off the other day so I need to make sure she's oka—"

You're arm was yanked back as soon as you moved to turn around. "Fuck you're bullshit __. You missed me didn't ya?"

"Not much to miss Jeon." You're such a liar, Jungkook muttered to himself. The whole world could see you were having a conversation with his pecs this whole time—too damn timid to look him in the eyes.

"Shut up and say you'll go out with me already. I'm tired of waiting for your ass to come around."

.

You swallowed your pride and there you were, watching Jungkook splash in every single puddle. He just had to propose going out the one day it was storming out.

"Wipe that sour look off your face!" He stomped in the water, drenching you entirely.

You shrieked at the sudden coldness. Big droplets of water soaked your face, clothes, shoes, everything. "You're such a child Jungkook!"

He ignored you and wrapped his muscular arms around you. The white tank he wore was drenched as well. "You're having fun, admit it."

You scoffed. The only reason you agreed to go out was to show him how ridiculous it would be for the two of you to go out. You and Jungkook were likely the most incompatible people for each other. While he was out riding his bike with heavy metal blasting, you were watching the latest law drama in you're pajamas. It was only a matter of time before this expirament of his would show him the true results of your intermingling.

"C'mon," he took you by the hand and dragged you through the rain. "Just be in the moment __. Let the rain shower over you and be free!" He grabbed your other hand and began spinning you both in circles.

"I'm going to get dizzy."

"Then only look at me. Look at me and don't worry about what's around us. Focus on a single subject and you won't get dizzy." He pulled you by the waist, forcing you to stare straight at him.

He was right. The dizziness went away but your knees feel like jelly.

"What's holding you back?" Jungkook smiled and it was the most genuine smile you'd ever seen. "Look at me __. Look at us. What do you see?"

As you stood there in the pouring rain, a pair of deep, boy-like eyes locked with yours. This was him, the thought dawned on you, a soft-hearted guy who wasn't afraid to open himself up.

You felt a pang of guilty settle in your gut–you weren't the better person like you so believed. You're closed off, comfortable in your space. Skeptical of anyone and everyone. You were wrong to see Jungkook as a careless, arrogant, motorcycle thug and it was a hard pill for you to swallow.

"I don't know." You replied softly, shivering at the faintest touch of his fingers supporting on your back. "I'm sorry, I don't know Jungkook."

"Well I see something worth sticking around for, rain or shine. I think I've become an idiot for you and I don't think that bothers you as much as you let on. You sought me out after I gave you space and I've literally been playing in the puddles this whole date and you haven't ditched me yet. So if you want some more of this, I'll give it to you with open hands, open heart, and I'll make sure to be loving you right." He winked before finishing. "As many days as you'd like."

Jungkook didn't give you much time to respond before he pressed his lips against your own. He made sure to go gentle, barely brushing them over your lips.

You understood immediately–if you wanted this, you were going to have to be the one to seal the deal.

And you did, kissing him with full force. You hoped you wouldn't regret this in the morning.

.

Ever since that night, you and Jungkook had started going out. It was slow at first but six months later, you and he finally made your relationship official.

"Shh," he cooed above you. He was a bit of a blur due to the pitch darkness of the room but you felt him everywhere. He was straddling your naked sides, praising your body like it was art. "Doing so good for me baby, making me so hard–fuck."

It was your first real-time being with a man and being your new boyfriend, Jungkook made sure to be extra attentive. "Kook," you moaned, back arching and pussy throbbing from where he had recently entered you.

He dragged his thick length out of you before slamming back in, a little rougher than the previous thrust. "That's it," he said through gritted teeth. "Let me hear those pretty moans. Been dying to hear them since I first saw you in those cute little sweat shorts you like walking to the laundry room in."

"Faster Kook, please." You gripped his muscular back, wrapping your legs tighter around his waist. You needed him lodged so far in your gut that you'd literally see stars. "Plea–please."

"Shit baby, if you start begging this early I can't promise you I won't go completely feral and I don't want to hurt you."

"I want all of you Jungkook," you said. "You said you'd love me right, so do it." And that's all it took for your boyfriend to lock down on your waist with firm hands, pounding into you with all he had.

You tried looking up at him, wanting to look him dead in the eye as he fucked into you but you couldn't handle it. He was dripping with sweat, his muscles were tense, veins were protruding out of neck, and his teeth were clamped shut. He was focused and he knew what he was doing. You on the other hand were a complete opposite story.

"Jung-Jungkook, oh god, fuck!" You screamed incoherently. His big cock reached every inch inside you, stretching you out with every snap of his hips. Never in your life had you had so much pleasure in a short amount of time. And embarrasing it may be, you were definitely going to come far before the usual.

"Look at you fucking falling apart already. Too much for your tight little pussy to handle isn't it? Well you begged for this, and now you're gonna take this cock like a big girl aren't ya," he barked, landing a sharp slap to your ass.

"Shit!" You yelped, clenching around him automatically. "Gonna come Kook...please-please. It's my first time I-"

You came without finishing the plead, sticky white substance ran down your thighs and onto the sheets. Jungkook's wet length continues to move in you, pushing some of your cum back in. The erotic squelching makes your eyes roll to the back of your head.

"Mhm yeah." He planted a trail of rough kisses up your neck, teeth nipping at the delicate skin. "And now you're gonna come again, and again, and again til you're dripping with my cum. I'm gonna then eat you out while my fingers play with your clit. But congrats on your first-time baby, because from here on out, you're gonna become my slut , and I'll be fucking you seven days a week."

A/N: written a little different than usual but yeah...haha idk. Tysm for reading and lmk your thoughts 💞

Masterlist

no reposting, copying, or translating my work– © kookslastbutton

[ddejavvu]

For multiverse Monday!! Where reader is so attracted to dealer!remus and she acts like she wants to buy from him but she only wants a chance to approach him and he knows it because that is so not like her and he is like “what is the real reason you’re talking to me?” And everything it’s like so flirty and there is tensionnn

today is multiverse monday, send me any au you can think of! :)

--

When Remus opens the door he honestly thinks he might be dreaming. After all, he's only hauled himself out of bed seconds ago to answer the timid knocks on his door, so he could be in some sort of fantasy. One where you're standing on his doorstep, little pink purse clutched in your quivering hands.

"Hello," He hums cautiously, "Did you need something?"

"I want to... to buy, uh," You lower your voice, leaning in to whisper, "Drugs."

Now he's sure he's dreaming. Because there's absolutely no way you'd ever be interested in anything illegal, especially not what he sells, because he's seen you scrunch your nose up at the smell before.

"Really," He feigns serious curiosity, stepping aside to let you into his apartment, "Well, you'd better come in then."

You peer cautiously around his living room, like you're worried the police have been lurking just behind the door, waiting to catch you. All you find is dirty laundry, basketball shorts in a heap on the floor beside his couch.

"What kind of drugs?" He asks, and something like fear flashes through your eyes.

"Marijuana." You say resolutely, like you've practiced in the car, "Uh, you sell that, right?"

"I do," He has to fight a grin off of his face at your demeanor, "How much weed do 'ya want?"

"Um," You fall silent and nervous, "Like- do you measure in pounds?"

Remus has to nearly bite through his tongue to stop from laughing.

"Alright, Y/N. Let's stop here. What do you really want?"

"Weed," You echo his slang from earlier, "I- I want to buy drugs, Remus, I told you."

"No, you don't." He narrows his eyes, resting his back against the now-closed door, "Come on, out with it. You and I both know you'd never do drugs, so why are you really here?"

You can't answer him. You can't muster up the courage to tell him you're only at his door to see his pretty face, but the more you twist your fingers together and gnaw at the inside of your cheek, he knows.

Apparently you're easy to read. His lips twist further up into a smirk the longer it takes you to answer, but when the silence becomes too much to bear, he steps in.

"If you're not here to buy weed," He muses, taking it painfully slow to induce the most heat to your cheeks, "Then I think you must be here for me, yeah? 'Cause there's no other reason people come to my place. Not like my cat's very friendly, you haven't come to see her. I returned that book on Greek mythology a week ago to the library, so you can't be after that. I'm the only option left. 'S that right?"

He's spelled it out plain and simple for you, and you don't think denial is an option anymore. You nod slowly, eyes timidly dropping to the floor. and you hear his soft huff of laughter even if you don't see the mixture of amusement and fondness that's on his face.

"Well I'm very flattered." He grins lazily, "Why don't you have a seat," Remus gestures to his couch, scratching an itch crawling up the back of his neck, probably from a crumb in his bed, "I'll get you some water, and we can watch a movie. That sound good?"

"Okay," You nod, relieved but still mortified by the whole ordeal as you sink into his couch cushions.

Remus has a semi-hard time finding you a clean glass, but when he returns, it's full of ice cold water. You take it gratefully, though you stiffen slightly with nerves when he plops down beside you on the couch, and he reaches for the remote with a scarred hand.

"I'm glad you were just trying to flirt with me, honey," He muses, clicking through the options of streaming services he has, "The way you were asking, I thought you were an undercover cop."

[thetriumphantpanda]

sharing is caring | joel & tommy miller

Summary | If there was one thing no-one really prepared you for when you got pregnant, it was the increase in your sex drive. Six months in and you're more frustrated than ever that something just isn't scratching the itch. You know exactly how to fix it, turns out Tommy does too - if only you'd asked about this three months ago.

Warnings | Pregnancy sex, descriptions of a pregnant body, oral sex (f receiving), masterbation (m), Unprotected PiV sex (Even if you're pregnant, STDs exist folks), creampie, Tommy getting cucked because he loves it more than anything, Joel just being.... Joel.

Word Count | 2.9k

Authors Note | You didn't think Joel was just going to disappear did you? Of course he wasn't. I know that pregnancy sex and this whole trope isn't for everyone, but I hope that I've managed to do it in a way that is still sexy and hot and has you all still loving our little threesome! Big disclaimer that I've never been pregnant, so the accuracy of this might be.... off, please forgive me. We've got one more part after this and I still cannot believe how many of you are still here for this little story. I appreciate all the love you've given me on this so far and I just hope you love the way this ends (When I share it with you), as much as I do! As always, if you liked this, please consider reblogging, leaving a comment or popping into my ask with some love. If you'd like to support me by leaving a tip, you can do so here on my Ko-Fi (But as I always say, no pressure!)

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

“Fuck, Tommy, holy shit.” 

Your head is thrown back on the pillow as your hips rock to meet his, your hand working hard to try and bring yourself as close to the edge as Tommy is right now. It’s been six months of a sex drive that’s been through the roof and six months of nothing working to satisfy that. Tommy had always been diligent lover, right from the very beginning, you’d always been satisfied, but there was something that just wasn’t working, and it had all begun when your stomach had started to swell. 

It had nothing to do with hating your body – if anything, seeing what it was doing, carrying a creating an entire other human, made you love it even more – you could spend hours running your hands over the swell of your stomach, even when your child would kick or move about and your skin would contort in ways you didn’t know possible, all you could do was watch in awe. No, it had nothing to do with that, and everything to do with the fact you were craving something, someone, you probably shouldn’t. 

In the past month, though it killed you to admit it, you’d started faking your orgasms. Something you’d never had to do in your time with Tommy, but that was probably easier than coming clean about the fact that you wanted Joel. No. You needed him. The combination of these two men, in your mind, was the only thing you could think that would help – the eyes of your love on you as his brother fucked you into another dimension. But how the fuck do you even ask for that?

When all is said and done that evening, and Tommy is softly snoring behind you with his hands resting on your belly, you run through every possible way that you might ask him if he’ll let Joel join you again. It had been incredibly normal between the three of you – you’d fallen back into the relationships you’d had before this whole thing started – Joel seemingly nothing but the loving brother-in-law he’d always been, and two brothers who certainly hadn’t been sharing you between themselves. It was a relief, that you could all go back to your old roles, but you knew Joel wanted more. Every time you’d see him, you’d watch his eyes on your swelling stomach, eyes that would darken when they met your own, with nothing but wanting for you. You knew he would do anything for you, you just had to ask. 

“Can I ask you something?” You pluck up the courage one evening when Tommy is massaging your ankles to try and get the swelling to subside. 

“Course you can.” He comments, his eyes never leaving the sports coverage on the TV in front of him. 

“Promise you won’t get mad?” You’re biting at the corner of one of your nails, worried that you might just be about to ruin everything good you’ve ever had. 

You watch, puzzled, as a smirk appears on Tommy’s face, his hands still working to relieve the aches at your ankles, “What the hell are you smirking for?” You ask. 

“Just think I know what you’re gonna ask for, is all.” 

“Go on then, smartass,” You offer, “What am I going to ask for?” 

“You want Joel, right?” 

What the fuck? How the fuck did he know? Your shock and surprise that he knew exactly what was on your mind must show on your face because he’s chuckling. 

“You’re not mad?” You ask. 

“No sugar, I am not mad,” He smiles, “He did a big thing for us,” He pauses to put a hand on your belly, “I’d be dumb as rocks to think that after all this there wasn’t some kind of connection between you both and that’s okay,” He leans over and presses a soft kiss to your lips, “I know you love me, but if you need him to help then all you had to do was ask.” 

"I just feel guilty," You admit, "That we're doing this together," You rest a hand on your tummy where a foot has just kicked, "And I can't stop thinking about how good it feels when you're both there."

"You don't have to feel guilty," He reassures, "He's as much involved as you or I sugar, and it's okay to ask for what you want, I promise."

“I still want you to be there,” You speak softly, taking hold of his hand, “And you’re sure you’re okay with this?” 

“Don’t worry your pretty head about it, sweetheart,” He smiles, and you can tell it’s genuine, “Leave it with me and I’ll make sure you get what you want.” 

It doesn’t take long for Tommy to make good on his promise. Within the week, you’re led on your bed, trying to relieve the ache in your back for a little bit, when that familiar of knocks at the door rings through the house. You stay horizontal for a while, mind thinking back to all the times you’d done this before. This time you know it has nothing to do with being a means to an end, and everything about you being able to enjoy yourself, and that’s thrilling more than anything else. 

You push yourself up on your hands, leaning back on them slightly, when you can hear Tommy and Joel coming up the stairs. You’re dressed in your usual silk robe. The burgeoning bump in front of you means even if you tie it, it doesn’t fit properly anymore, so you’ve got the most unsexy pair of underwear on, the only stuff that fits right now, but when Joel makes his way through your bedroom door, left open this time, it doesn’t matter, he’s looking at you like you’re the loveliest thing he’s ever seen. 

Tommy is behind him, walking over to take his place on the chair in the corner, leaving you and Joel to have a moment to yourself, for now. Joel leans down and presses his usual chaste kiss to your cheek, pulling back to look down at you, looming over you as he traces your bottom lip with his thumb, just like he had the first night you’d been together. 

“You frustrated, darlin’ girl?” He asks, letting a smirk fall across his lips, “Thought you didn’t need me anymore, didn’t you?” You vehemently shake your head, no, you knew you needed him, and if you’d known Tommy would let you, you’d have asked months ago, “Don’t worry, pretty girl, I think together we can make you feel good.” He tilts his head to Tommy, sat behind you, but for once, your eyes are only on Joel. 

You reach your own hand up to cup his face, letting your fingers trace along the rough hair on his jaw, you want to tell him you’ve missed him, because you have, but instead you just settle for trying to finally get what you want. 

“You gonna spend all night looking at me?” You ask coyly, “Or are you going to eat my pussy?” 

“You drive a hard bargain.” He smirks, dropping to his knees, pulling at your ankles so you’re siting over the end of the bed, his hands coming to undo the tie of your robe, slipping it off to reveal your naked upper half to him. 

“Look what we did, pretty girl,” Joel whispers, big palms running over the swell of your stomach, “Look what we made together.” 

You’re overcome with emotion, tears pricking at your eyes, as his gentle hands trace the bump, mouth trailing just behind his hands as he worships his work, worships what he’s made you. As his fingers hook around the waistband of your underwear and pull them down, you feel the bed dip behind you. Tommy settles himself against your back, letting his legs rest on either side of your own, his lips starting to trail down your neck and across your shoulder as Joel spreads your legs. 

You can feel the breath from Joel’s mouth across the skin of your pussy, your hips bucking to try and meet his mouth. He brings your legs to rest over his broad shoulders, widening your spread legs before his mouth is on you. He’s doing what he always does, using his tongue to lap up at your slick hole first, and he’s groaning whilst he does it. He hasn’t had the taste of you on his mouth for six months, and even he’s surprised with how much he’s missed it. You lean yourself fully back into Tommy’s chest, as his hands come to cup the weight of your tits. They’re sensitive and sore, and he knows to be gentle, but he’s running his thumbs over your peaked nipples just enough that the pleasure outweighs the slight pain you feel. 

It's all inconsequential anyway once Joel trails his tongue up through your folds and over your clit. It’s like the trail of his tongue sets you on fire, lighting every single part of you alight as he touches you. You’re squirming against the pleasure of Tommy’s fingers at your chest, so much so that Joel has to grip the meat of your thighs to keep you steady as he trails the tip of his tongue over your clit in slow, languid movements, working you up slowly this time. 

With Tommy’s lips at your neck and his hands on your tits, and the slow but firm work of Joel’s tongue on your clit, you’re reaching your peak before you really know it’s happening. You can feel your thighs begin to shake and the way you’re grinding yourself into Joel’s face to chase the feeling of his mouth, you know you’re not going to last much longer. You reach down and run your fingers through his hair, anchoring his face to your aching cunt. 

“You gonna come for us baby?” Tommy breathes into your ear, “Go on, let go for us, I know you’ve been waiting.” 

“Oh fuck, oh fuck,” You breathe out with every breath you exhale, “I’m- oh my god-”

It hits you like a fucking freight train. Six months of pent-up tension released all at once as you actually scream Joel’s name out into the room. You can feel Tommy’s erection behind you, pressing into your lower back as you arch up into Joel’s mouth, his tongue working you through the aftershocks. 

He pulls his face away from your pussy, rubbing the slick onto your thigh as he presses soft kisses to the delicate skin there whilst you try and fill your lungs with air, trying not to cry at the relief you finally feel after all this time. 

“Wasn’t so hard, was it, pretty girl?” He speaks from between your thighs, finally pulling back enough that you can see those big, brown eyes, “Just needed a little extra help, didn’t you?” You’re too blissed out to care much right now at his teasing tone because he’s right. You did just need a little extra help. 

“You want him to fuck you, sugar?” Tommy asks into your ear. 

Joel stands, hands poised at his shirt buttons, waiting for your permission. You look him straight in the eye, legs spread, your wet cunt on full display for him, “I’d be disappointed if he didn’t.” 

Joel is slipping of his shirt in seconds, belt and jeans soon following. You can already see the bulge in the front of his underwear as Tommy moves from behind you. You move to grip his arm to get him to stay. 

“I’ll be right over here,” He soothes, pointing to the chair, “Just enjoy yourself, okay?” 

You turn your attention back to Joel, who is palming his cock through the thin material of his boxers, watching you as you shuffle back onto the bed. 

“What works for you, pretty girl?” He asks, letting his underwear drop to the floor as he crawls onto the mattress with you, “What makes you feel good?” 

He looms over you, settled between your thighs as he kisses at your neck. He wants you to be comfortable. He knows the positions you both favoured before are a dream now – there’s no way he would want to fold you in half, your legs on his shoulders, like he used to. You bring a hand to his chest, letting your fingers spread through the patchy hair that sits there. 

“Let me ride you?” You ask, almost shyly. 

“Whatever you want, babygirl.” 

Joel stretches out on the mattress and helps you to straddle his waist, holding your hands as you flounder a little to mount his body. He keeps you steady as you reach between the two of you to grab his cock, lining yourself up ready to sink down onto him. 

“I knew you’d be fuckin’ beautiful like this,” He groans as you slide down onto his cock, wet heat enveloping him as his hands rest on your stomach as you start grinding onto him, “Look at you,” He coos, “Puttin’ on a show for your man over there.” 

When you turn your head Tommy is exactly how he usually is, filthy grin plastered on his face, fisting his cock as he watches you take your pleasure from his brother. It makes you feel powerful as you rock your hips, feeling Joel’s cock work inside your pussy as he watches you. 

“It’s a fuckin’ great show too.” Tommy groans as he works himself in his hand. 

You bring your attention back to Joel, palms placed on his chest as you start fucking yourself on him. His hands are on your hips, but instead of the bruising grip they used to hold you in, now he’s softer, gentler with you as he guides your hips in movements that have you both moaning each other’s names. 

“Feels so good Joel,” You choke out, leaning as far forward as you can with your pregnant belly, trailing kisses along his jaw, “Missed this.” 

When you finally lean back, hands on Joel’s knee’s which he’s brought up to rest behind you, feet planted on the bed so he can finally start thrusting up into your aching cunt, you know it won’t be long until you’re seeing stars again. Joel brings his hand to your pussy, thumb rubbing tight circles across your clit. 

“Missed you too, pretty girl,” He groans, hips faltering as he thrusts up into you, he’s close too, “Missed feeling this pretty pussy clench around me when you’re gonna come for me.” 

“Don’t stop,” You breathe, “I’m so fucking close Joel.” 

He does exactly what you ask, keeps a steady rhythm of thrusts into your pussy, his hand working at your clit. You take a moment to look at Tommy, who gives you a wink as you watch him, eyes on him as he comes, covering his lower belly and his hand with his spend as he continues to watch you. 

“Come on, pretty girl,” Joel growls, bringing your attention back down to him, “Come for me.” 

You can feel the walls of your tight heat fluttering around his cock as you start to come around him. You hold yourself up with your hands on his knees as your vision blurs and pleasure spools its way across your body. You’re crying out his name as you feel him still inside you, the warmth of his spend seeping into you as he groans your name. Filling you right to the brim like he’d always done before, gripping your hips to keep you in place as your walls continued to flutter around him through your aftershocks. 

Once he’s sure you’re both finished, Joel helps you to lie down on the bed, pulling you off him and settling you on your back. You can hear Tommy at the other side of the room, doing his jeans up before he’s padding out of the room and down the stairs. 

“Are you alright?” Joel asks, lips close to your ear as he lets himself take a moment alone with you, hand resting on your stomach as the baby inside you wriggles around. 

“I’m fine,” You sigh, turning to look at him, he’s so close, his hand warm and protective on your swollen belly, “Thank you.” 

“None of that, pretty girl,” He can see the tears forming in your eyes, he takes your chin in his fingers, tilting your face just enough to press the softest kiss to your lips, “No more tears.” 

You bring your hand to his face, pulling him back down for another kiss, soft and over far too quickly, pulling away just as Tommy starts back up the stairs. By the time he’s in the room with a glass of water and the tablets you were taking to keep your heartburn at bay, Joel is already pulling on his clothes. You’re standing up, aiming to pick your robe up from the floor, but Joel beats you to it – handing you the silk material before bending to pick up his shirt. 

When he’s dressed, it’s the same as always, you both press kisses to each other’s cheeks and say goodbye. Tommy walks him downstairs, and you can hear them talking a little as you head to the bathroom. If there’s one thing you weren’t risking, it was a UTI whilst pregnant. As you’re washing your hands you can hear the front door close, and the sound of Tommy’s footsteps back on the stairs. 

You meet him outside the bedroom door, shedding his clothes as you do the same. It takes you a while to find a position you’re comfortable enough in to consider sleeping – led on your back with Tommy’s hand firmly on your stomach as is had been since the very beginning, his head on the pillow next to yours. 

“Thank you,” You say into the darkness, “For trusting us.” 

Tommy takes a moment before he replies, “I know he makes you happy,” He kisses your cheek, “All I ever want is for you to be happy.” 

[miiserableee]

( 𖤘 ) ▸ tumbling the tumbled : scaramouche x fem! reader !

scaramouche have always found you to be a pill he can't seem to swallow . you were always too hard to ignore , too easy to wish for . he spent his whole highschool thinking you'd remain being nothing as he so desperately hopes , but is now oftentimes sleeping with dreams of you and how you've tumbled his existence .

(!!!) mentions of reader being a cutie patootie ! tsundere to the highest level scara ! cuddly reader & scara ! modern!highschool! au again cause that's all i can ever write AHAHAHAHAHA lmao :D ooc characters ! 1.5k words !

"Oi , wake up ." scaramouche was never the most decent , but he's long since learnt to mind his own business . so , why does he bother with you ? sleeping so leisurely by the far corner of this massive library .

well , maybe it's because , it's been more than half an hour since the bell rung . it's way past lunch break . you ought to be in class . just as him . he isn't quite sure if you're as uncaring of being late or absent for a period or two . he's seen you wake up on time countless of times like clockwork , like a bot programmed to be up and about at the most appropriate of timestamps .

scaramouche , aggravated , scratches at his scalp and messes up his own bedhead . he had also just woken up from his nap . fuck , this really itches him the wrong way for some reason .

he can't seem to walk out , trust him , he's tried .

he glares at you , like that'll do anything while you're playing sleeping beauty . perhaps looking for a needle to prick you with will give him the best outcome , and ability to sweep his meaningless frustrations under rugs .

"Wake up , L/n ." he rearranges his words for the , god knows who time . you remain with no showing of signs of being the least bit disrupted by this , attempt of being awoken . and that's on the said attempts not being in the gentle side either .

one more glare and he'd probably have digging knives for eyes . he clicks at his tongue and took his phone out . it seems it's been 35 minutes , well , it doesn't really matter if he goes to class or not . his classmates were raring in the groupchat , about how their teacher was busy attending on a sick student to practice any lectures .

the vibrations of the notifications having been what awoke him . he looks at the sleeping you again and wonders if he could set his phone vibrating and wake the hell out of you too .

he chose against it as he remembers your close bond with one of his friends . a nagging fit from two chatterboxes will have to grate at his ears for a long while . heizou and kazuha really have a knack at befriending odd people . you setting the best example yet .

there's venti too . that guy really loves your every atom .

right , xiao is kind of way past just knowing you too so he'd really have to go through it if he did something atrocious to you , or at least that's what kazuha will word anything of what he does as a teasing to you would be in the aftermath .

aether would probably join the nagging crew .

he sighs and sits himself on the seat by the right to you . you didn't budge despite all the noise his intentional display of being inconsiderate have played too near you .

cupping a hand to a cheek , he rests on his elbow and ponders over nonsensical things . what else to do when you have almost an hour to waste until the next period begins ?

he looks at your face .

he's seen that face multiple times this year . it's a bit annoying how often , but he's gotten used to it .

you came from the same reading club as the five guys he hangs out with . he was ushered to join said club too but he'd rather do other things .

you didn't have much going on for you . plain and quiet , always on your heels and never at all looking directly at him . well , at least until the formal introductions done by venti was laid ahead .

your e/c eyes really struck at him that time . your eyes feeling oddly perfect being on line as his . it's a shame that your eyes are closed now , as you sleep .

seeing you sleeping so deeply he wonders if your sleeping position is really any that seemingly comfy . he copies you and dives more into pondering .

there were moments wherein you two only had each other as company , excluding this one . the majorities of these was when you two slept hours in the library , reasons and spots utterly different but that's besides the point .

there was a moment when he had to aid you with a wounded arm from an incident in class , he even had to attend to your wound himself . there was that time he gave you a handkerchief of his own when he walked in on you crying in class , at dawn , the class yet to begin , the classroom empty , you with a book and weeping silently .

you two were also paired for a project once .

all those moments together , vulnerabilities and opportunities leading doors of creaking opening , yet you never felt all that special to him , he never felt the need to pry those doors open fully . since to him you were ,

just , some girl his friends are all sheeshaw-sheesh over .

saying you were the most responsible , strong and capable person they know .

scaramouche could only scoff in mind . if only they knew how much of a vulnerable , naive and careless of an existence you truly can be at times .

helping someone from falling badly and hurting yourself in the process . crying just because a character wanted to buy his mother's favorite croissants but couldn't . staring aimlessly at everything the moment you're left alone . saying the most unnecessary things with just a whiff of awkward silence .

he stares at your braided hair .

that was one of those rare acts of yours , you were never one to tie your hair .

he feels sleepy again . he didn't even feel his eyes close . thinking of you is so tiring , it drags on for too long . at times , it even comes to points where he just thinks about you all day long .

"Scara ?"

scaramouche blinks , hearing your voice . he blinks again and again , in a daze . "You dozed off ." you were sitting between his legs , his arms around you .

oh right , you slept here last night and you both woke up past afternoon and decided to have food delivered and watch movies while , eating .

the delivery must have taken so long that he fell asleep . what a deep dream , he almost forgot all his rage in his stream last night .

"Sorry . Is the food here ?" he asks and you shake your head , leaning back after and landing said head on his shoulder . that's good , he didn't want you to eat alone .

your phone back on the table as you reach for his cheeks and squish at them . "Not yet , a few more minutes , the driver said ."

instead of his brows twitching at what you said , he only asks you to sit the other way around and face him .

that , you did . so different from how you would've flinched before at every touch on you he did .

you sit with your legs rested on his thighs and your hands on his shoulders . you tilt your head to the side a bit and smiles .

"You haven't had enough cuddles ?"

"I just , want more ." he kisses your cheek before he pulls you closer to him . arms around you and massaging your back . he leans on the couch and sighs .

"Are you hungry ?" he sounds a bit worried . "For cuddles ? Now that you're being all clingy , yeah , yeah I am ."

"I was asking if you were famished for food , but that's good to know ." scaramouche was never at all near to thinking that your relationship of just being too-far-to-be-friends would now be , this intimate .

"What did you dream about , anyways ? You kept grumbling ."

"I dreamt of that time we slept in the library until it was time to go home ."

"Oh ? High school , right ? When we were 2nd years ?"

"Yeah ,"

"I was wondering why you were beside me when Venti woke us up . They wondered too and asked why you were there and was sure you were awake because you had seen-ed in the gc hours before . Then you said you didn't leave , just because . But like , why really ?" what a detailed recollection , nothing beats your memory after all .

"I don't know . I must've been attracted to you some way even in those moments , despite not being completely aware yet ."

you pull back from him with your brows meeting and he laughs before you say a thing . "Didn't you ask me out before we graduated High School ? You mean , you've liked me since we were in our 2nd years ?!"

"Why are you so shocked ?" the two of you now were 3rd years in college . struggling to even be 4th years next semester , or maybe just you .

"Because ," you trail off and pause completely . "Because ?"

his thumb press a bit on your sides , his hands on either side of your waist . keeping you there , he feels you want to just stand and walk out .

"Because , oh ! The delivery's here ! I'll get it !"

he watches you hurry your way to the door and stays there for a bit . smirking to himself . seems to be stuck in the memory train today , he remembers one thing one of the guys said after a month or two of you two being introduced to each other .

"You know , Y/n seems interested in you ."

perhaps , heizou is worth believing sometimes .

SCARA-LiNE / WORK NAVi !

[diazsdimples]

bucktommy - “Can I touch you?” Buck asked, eyes wide and desperate.

“Can I touch you?” Buck asked, eyes wide and desperate.

Tommy stands in front of him, shirtless and body bathed in the golden glow of the setting sun filtering in through the windows of the loft. His lips are red and slick with spit after a passionate kiss, and he looks down at Buck with heavily lidded eyes. They're so close, almost pressed against one another, and Buck's hands twitch uselessly by his sides as he itches to reach out and run his fingers over his boyfriend's chest, to circle those perfect, pert nipples and to scratch his nails down and leave behind pretty pink marks.

Tommy reaches out and takes Buck's wrist in hand, bringing it up until it's resting gently against his left pec, right over his heart.

"Of course you can, Evan," he murmurs, his voice low and mellow, and he drops his hand from Buck's wrist, cupping his chin instead and pulling Buck in for another brain-melting kiss.

It's like a switch has been flipped in Buck's mind, and he's suddenly got both hands on Tommy's chest, running his hands up and down his torso as he maps out every inch of Tommy's body, systematically cataloguing every ridge and dip and valley. He brushes his fingers over the old shrapnel scar over Tommy's ribs and his boyfriend's breath hitches.

Buck likes Tommy's scars. They remind him of everything Tommy has overcome to get where he is now. Buck rubs his thumb over the scar on Tommy's shoulder - a surgery site from when he'd done it in playing football in college - and circles his hands to Tommy's back, clawing at the soft skin as he presses their bodies close together, rolling his hips up into Tommy's.

Tommy's hand moves from Buck's chin to the back of his head, curling into the short hairs and he gives a little tug that has Buck gasping into Tommy's mouth. Tommy uses his free hand to circle around one of Buck's nipples, rolling it between his fingers until it's hard and Buck is whimpering with need.

He pushes his hips into Tommy's once again, groaning as their clothed erections rub against one another. It's not like Buck hasn't ever felt Tommy's erect cock before - they've cuddled plenty of times and when you've got a hot man pressed against you, there's only so much your body can do - but this is different. They're both hard with anticipation and need this time. Buck grabs Tommy's ass over his jeans, pressing them closer still and he feels Tommy's cock twitch against him.

"Jesus Christ you're so hot," Buck moans into Tommy's mouth as Tommy scratches his blunt nails into Buck's hair, and Tommy chuckles, kissing the corner of Buck's mouth, then his cheek, his jaw, until he's sucking a mark into Buck's neck.

"Not too bad yourself," Tommy hums against Buck's skin as he licks at the forming bruise.

Unable to contain himself, Buck slides his hand down Tommy's stomach, delighting at the way the muscles twitch beneath his fingers, and he grasps Tommy's belt, fingers fumbling as the anticipation makes his hands shake. He cups Tommy's cock through his jeans, but Tommy grabs his wrist against and pulls him away, making Buck whine in confusion.

"Easy, baby, slow down," Tommy says between kisses, and Buck practically whimpers as Tommy redirects his hand to his hip. "It's not a race. We're going to take this nice and slow, okay?"

"But I-" Buck begins, but he's cut off with another slow, sweet kiss.

"I know, baby. We'll get there. I just want this to be good for you. Gonna take my time and enjoy you, figure out what you like."

Tommy kisses him again, and Buck melts into him, his bones turning to jello as Tommy holds him up, his strong arms wrapped around Buck's middle. His whole life he's rushed into things headfirst without really thinking about what's happening, never stepping back to appreciate the moment. With Tommy, it's different. Tommy makes him take that step back and to feel things for what they really are.

Sex is great. He loves sex, loves the rush of an orgasm and the feeling of two sweaty bodies writing around with each other. He's never had slow sex, just fast and hurried, like he's chasing the orgasm and that's all. But sex with Tommy... he knows this is going to be different. Tommy is going to take good care of him.

"Yeah, okay," he breathes against Tommy's lips. "Touch me, please."

Gonna tag @bidisasterevankinard cause Bucktommy sdfkjds. This is open ended so happy imagining!

Send me a ship and a sentence and I'll write the rest!

[fandomwritingbit]

could u do william afton x bratty reader??? this idea mkes me so HAPYYYY EHEHHE!!!! thank u and have an awesome dayy!!

I can sure try! Hope this scratches the itch lmao

william afton x bratty (gn)reader

smut, spanking, degrading and brat taming below the cut ;)

You're sitting on your fling's sofa, waiting for him to put his attention back on you. He's been so caught up with work recently you've hardly seen him and now was supposed to be different. He promised to take care of you today. Then Henry called...

You watch him with his back to you, talking on the phone, feeling your lips automatically pout in response.

He sighs, "Yeah... Okay... I'll have to come in and sort it, won't I?" The second he says that you roll your eyes, how fucking typical of him. You were supposed to get the whole day with him and it's barely been a few hours.

Nodding at something Henry is saying he turns to face you, annoyance written in his expression. "No, it's not really alright, is it? … Fine, yeah, 20 minutes."

"Are you serious?" The words leave you in an instant, your tone whiny enough to make William scowl. He again turns his back on you, not having the patience to deal with two whining dependents at once. This spurs you to stand, and you go over too him and hang off his arm.

Your voice is coated in entitlement, "You can't go. You're spending time with me. Tell him you can't go!" The way you drag out those vowels, your voice pinched and higher than normal, makes the unpleasant expression on your lover's face double. He can't fucking stand when you whinge like this, he’s told you as much multiple times.

He mutes his side of the call, looking down at you, "I don't have a choice. Let go of me." Each word of the last sentence is hissed separately, punctuated by the way he tears you off his arm, making you stumble slightly. "Stop being a brat- I'm not in the mood to put up with you." His reaction to you stings and causes you to double down on him, growing more pissed off at the injustice.

"I can't believe you, you never keep your promises!" Your voice is so shrill it's heard clearly by the man on the other end of the phone, both of them think it's insufferable. You go over to your coat hung on the bannister, shrugging it on and picking up your bag, turning smartly to William, "If you don't have time for me, I'll go and find someone that does."

For a moment your boyfriend doesn't blink and just stares at you in disbelief, more than embarrassed that Henry just heard how petulant you can be. Still staring daggers at you, he speaks to his co-worker, "... I've got to go, Henry... yeah." He hangs up and tosses his phone onto the sofa.

"What are you doing? Put your stuff down." You can tell just by how he's looking at you that he's not asking. It's an order. So you look at him angrily. You're not one of his employees he can boss around, but at least you got his attention.

"No." You scoff, continuing to stand near the door, "Why should I be good for you, when you're not good for me?" He laughs at you incredulously, unable to believe you're really being this pathetic.

Walking over to you he takes the bag and the jacket roughly from your shoulders, letting both drop into a pile on the floor. He then catches your arm and turns you around so your back is pressed to him, his larger frame letting him speak directly to your ear.

"Why are you being such a brat, huh? You never fucking listen." The harshness of his tone is enough to make you regret your ploy for attention. "What do I have to do to teach you some respect?" You hope he's asking rhetorically because you wouldn't dream of answering that question. And so instead, you just lean into him, arching your back to let your behind press against his crotch, a small moan leaving your lips when you feel his cock respond.

He knows you just want his attention, want him to play with you, make you cum for him in that crazy way only he can do for you. But brats don't get rewarded and your arse against him right now is giving him an idea. 

William manoeuvres you towards the arm of the sofa, bending you over against it, making you gasp when your stomach comes in sudden contact with it. You're at his mercy, his intimidating frame looming over you and adding to the growing arousal between your legs. His fingers are rough, digging into your skin when he hooks them under your waistband and pulls your trousers down, your underwear soon following. You feel so exposed, anticipation heavy in your stomach as you wait for what he's about to do to you. 

He grabs a handful of your plush cheek, kneading the flesh and frowning at how you squirm. 

"Look at you arching your back so pretty, I nearly forgot what a needy little brat you are." His tone is mean, and your stomach twists at realisation that this is a punishment. Without warning, he strikes your arse hard, the palm viciously stinging you. You yelp, turning to look at him but quickly being grabbed at the base of your neck and held down.

"Now listen. To make it up to me you're going to count every one of these. Nice and clear. But anything else I hear from you adds more." There's a sinister joy to his words, making you gulp at the knowledge that he isn't going to go easy on you. Not one bit. 

[octuscle]

Hey support. Quick question. Lately this group of guys on campus has been gravitating toward me in a kinda weird way. They’re super preppy guys: polo shirts, cologne, pressed khakis, conservative haircuts, that whole sort of thing. They’re really nice and honestly very handsome—prettyboy faces with some nicely toned muscle—but, frankly, the way they all talk the same, always hang out together, and have the same (properly preppy) interests kind of freaks me out. They’re like pod people. Idk why they’ve taken such a curiosity in me: I’ve never been very preppy or stylish at all. Anyway, they invited me over to their dorm tomorrow, but I saw one of them carrying a chronoviac…any idea what I should expect if I go? Should I go?

Well… In my opinion, you should definitely go there. From what I see in my files, these guys are virtuosos in the use of the Chronivac. You can look forward to the results.

You put on your clothes that are most likely to pass for "preppy". You comb your hair. And go on your way. Another student is waiting in front of the house. Similar appearance as you. Pretty average. Quite preppy. But could just as easily pass for a member of the chess team. The door opens and an immaculately dressed frat guy invites you in and leads you into a library. There are two tables, each with an iPad on it. You may sit down. There would now be a small entrance test for the fraternity. If you pass, you will become probationary preppies. Otherwise you will leave the dorm and will not get a chance to repeat the test.

Hey, you think to yourself, that's great. So, worst case scenario, nothing happens. Let's do it.

The test only takes a few minutes. You are to enter for four abbreviations what they stand for. Please use the iPads for this. You and the other candidate look at each other, shake hands and take your seats. The first abbreviation is BMW. Fuck! "Bavaria" and " Motors" is what you guess. But W? Ways? Your tutor congratulates your competitor. Yes, it stands for "Bayerische Motoren Werke". You look enviously at your opponent's iPad. Did he already have manicured fingers? You look at your hands. Okay, the nails aren't exactly clean. And you have quite a few horny calluses.

The next question is what "bt" means on an invitation. You have no idea… You've never read it. You write beer time. Fits BMW somehow. The tutor congratulates the other guy again. The solution was "black tie". Who should know something like that? The idiot grins over his clean-shaven face. You're itching your three-day beard. Shit, now you have to try harder!.

Now they ask for LVMH. What the hell? LVMH? Might have something to do with the British king. Long Vita Majesty Highness? Shit, time's up. Of course the other guy knew it stood for Louis Vuitton Moët Hennessy. You don't even know what that means. You scratch your tousled hair. Your opponent, grinning, corrects a less-than-perfect strand of his slicked hair.

We come to the last question. Your last chance not to make a total fool of yourself. But you're getting tired of these stuffy wimps. What does Snob stand for? Hehehe! That's a trick question. Snob is not an abbreviation at all. You write that down. To learn that it stands for sine nobilitas. Fuck!

A few other preppies enter the room and ask your opponent to come along. He puts on his expensive looking jacket, nods at you once more and turns around.

Your tutor says he's sorry, but unfortunately you have no chance of being accepted into the frat. You scratch your hairy six-pack and are relieved. You'd rather be throwing some balls with the other guys anyway.

"Nah worries, bruh. It's been fun. See you on campus" you reply, grabbing your glove and ball and you head out of this boring house.

[broomsick]

Hello!!! Im just starting to properly get into the world of paganism as a whole, and I was wondering if you have any advice on being able to tell if there is a deity reaching out to you? There have been a lot of little things happening and I really just. Don’t know where to start. With any of it. I really, really want to, it feels like there’s something calling me towards it, the norse side especially (I think Loki?) and so if you have any advice or guidance to offer I’d appreciate it tremendously

Ps, thank you for everything you do here!! I’ve been scrolling through your blog and it’s an absolute well of knowledge and insight

Hi there! I'll first tell you welcome to paganism! I wish you so much fun and happiness on this journey! And I'm quite flattered that you came to me with your question. I'm truly touched to know that you enjoy my posts. Fair warning: this post is pretty long—I'm sorry for writing so much, but I hope my answer can help you!

Now, I wish I could tell you without a doubt that a deity has reached out to you, and if so, which has. However, I'm sorry to say it's generally impossible to be certain of these things. It's often a matter of leaving it up to faith and telling yourself, "Well, I'm not sure if this deity has reached out to me, but it feels very much like they have, so I will act accordingly". Either way, your instinct is telling you to look into this deity, and to me, instinct is reason enough.

You've told me you don't know where to start, so I'll advise you three steps to start off. The first, do some research! And I know, I know, just the word "research" tends to turn some people off. But research doesn't have to be boring! Especially since you're only getting started. Begin with the basics, read up on norse mythology, learn about the surrounding culture, really immerse yourself in and try to get a feel for this branch of spirituality as a whole. To help you out, here's a post where I listed some of my favorite resources! The second step sounds a little stupid but it's something that's helped me tremendously when I was first getting started with paganism: learn about the Gods individually. Don't let yourself form your opinion of them based on 1-2 myths that you loosely know. Really get to know them, what they're associated with, how you can work with them, what their role is in myth, how they're perceived by scholars and by worshippers alike... You might develop an interest in a deity you'd have never thought to work with initially! And my third advice is to pray, plain and simple prayer. Just close your eyes and reach out to the deity genuinely. Ask for something that you want help with, or simply praise them and explain why you're interested in them, or both! It's all perfectly OK, even if it's your first time praying to them. It'll help you get a feel for what their presence is like, and if praying to them feels right to you.

Now, enough with the introduction, let's dive into what really interests you: how to tell if a deity has reached out to you, and how to tell which? Healthy skepticism aside, it's safe to say a deity will generally manifest themselves through recurring patterns or ideas. Look for symbols that stand out to you regularly, and that seem to draw your attention for no apparent reason. For example, if a deity's name keeps showing up around you in your life, by which I mean in real life, not on social media (algorithms will always show you what you want to see after all). I find that half the time, when you ask pagans how they started to worship this or that deity, the story often goes "I couldn't seem to get this deity out of my head for some reason, like a tugging at the back of my mind or an itch that I needed to scratch." Whether or not this is the deity's direct doing is up to your belief. And to me, this sort of occurrence often results in your looking up the deity, and things seem to click into place almost instantly. You'll see a picture of the deity, or read this or that piece of information about them, and suddenly, it feels right. As if your mind was telling you, "This is what I've been waiting for, this is a deity who's going to help me." Don't be looking out too much for this feeling, however. As long as you're interested by the deity you're looking into, even if you don't get this moment of sudden realization, there's no need to doubt that they're right for you.

And how do you tell which deity is reaching out? More often than not, all you need to do is listen to your gut. It tends to be quite obvious, especially once you've looked into the symbols that seem to turn up around you. Examine what they mean and what God is associated with them. My advice to you is to expect that a deity you don't know much about might reach out to you. This is your sign to look into them! Open yourself to the possibility of working with deities and with aspects of the divine that you'd never considered before. It can be such a fulfilling move, spirituality-wise. Explore and discover what feels right to you!

I hope my answers have helped you, and I wish you the best of luck on your journey. Please don't hesitate to ask further questions if you have them, it would be my pleasure to help in any way I can!

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 6/25/2024

i played a game that is not genshin impact!

listening

paige kennedy's lingerie model. the line "cause i'm a little rat boy in the body of a lingerie model" startled a laugh out of me. off the discover weekly playlist.

-

reading

thank you philip.

Johnny Guitar by Roy Chanslor, on interlibrary loan bc i was hoping reading the book would kickstart my long-planned fic based on the movie. surprise! wildly different book i read in one sitting! the locations, most of the characters (except most of them are much younger) and who's on what sides are essentially the same, but everything else is different!

there are five whole women in this thing, which is a staggering number for a western. i don't know that i have a clear idea of what this book is trying to say about Women in general or specific. i've just been kind of rolling it around in my head for a while. once i figure out what i want to say about this book everyone better watch out

-

watching

borrowed my best friend's husband and their disney plus account to watch a lot of star wars. we certainly had a lot of thoughts about the show Ahsoka but none of them were particularly complimentary. it's dave filoni playing the fucking hits. would you like some wolves and some owls and people having bad feelings and recreating the training session on the millennium falcon from ANH? would you like some fairly lackluster lightsaber battles? would you like the least interesting concept of a waiting room/purgatory/underworld you've ever seen? this is a show where we meet Anakin again and TRAVEL TO A DIFFERENT FUCKING GALAXY, the BIRTHPLACE of some WITCHES. can we be a little bit excited about new things please??? please?????? we are so very bogged down in cutting back and forth, bc god forbid everyone be in the same place at the same time, that we get only the tiniest glimpses of fun new places. show me the places. stop giving me medium shots of people yapping. easily three quarters of this show is filmed from the waist up or closer. what fucking gives. if i really really wanted to scratch the itch of a worrisome legacy and lost love and slightly weird student/teacher dynamics i would go read a contemporary literary novel. show me the interesting parts of star wars and not just the fanservicey callback parts please thanks

we did have a lot of fun with The Acolyte, which genuinely does feel like a breath of fresh air. most of the dialogue is extremely bad, which is sort of par for the course for a star war, but the gleeful jumping with both feet into some real melodramatic weekly serial/space opera tropes!!! much more interested in playing with a heightened narrative/playing with narrative at all, unlike ahsoka which is more focused on filling in a little blank spot!!! witches here also!!! the GOOD TWIN and the EVIL TWIN, several inventive assassinations, the CLEARING of one's NAME, a cursed planet, some fights that feel like they're playing with samurai movies and westerns in a fun new way instead of reminding me of a better thing i could be watching. thank you im eating this with a spoon. many people are very mad about it bc the protagonist is black and perhaps not perfectly straight. the public says this star wars is bad, bc of woke and bc of cliffhangers. i think this one is fun actually so far!!!

-

playing

Freshly Frosted (2022, Quantum Astrophysics Guild). free on Epic rn and quite honestly this should be a self-care/old people brain plasticity phone game. why it is NOT on mobile is beyond me. why it is on SWITCH is also beyond me.

it did make me miss a novelty doughnut and coffee mini local chain in the five college area that has long since gone under. one of my therapists used to have an office above one of their stores and i used to go to a class at smith on wednesdays, go to therapy, and then jog for the half hour bus back to umass, reward doughnut in hand.

it opens with a soft-voiced woman telling you about how she likes to decompress by laying in a field and imagining a donut factory in the sky. she gives encouraging little tips and "hey! be nice to yourself!" throughout the game, but mostly at the beginnings of levels and introducing new mechanics. there are, perhaps, overly plentiful achievements.

there are a dozen dozen levels and i played through the first three dozen, or the first three boxes (normie don't draw over your line, multi track drifting, merging paths). i once had a level correct and then hit undo out of indecision and the tutorial lady told me "“You had it, click the undo button in the top right to undo”. which i don't believe i've ever seen in a game.

i stopped at the third box bc there’s a universal order to ingredients (always frosting then sprinkles then whipped cream then etc) but it does not ever tutorialize that it will only put the next ingredient on if the previous ones are fulfilled. like this was the level i figured this out on.

on further levels in this box i was not thinking super hard about what the actual order was and i couldn't really tell you how i solved a particular level except for making sure every possible path existed. maybe this gets super wild in later levels idk but three dozen levels was enough of a novelty for me. if i may be a little mean to a perfectly fine game, it feels like a coding bootcamp project in the way it steps through its logic and introduces new mechanics.

-

making

cross stitch update. i don't believe this will be done by my brother's birthday

[fox-quills]

Do have any additional thoughts/ideas you’d be willing to share about Mobius?

OKAY FIRST AN APOLOGY BECAUSE THIS HAS BEEN SITTING SINCE???? NOVEMBER????? I'm so so sorry anon I'm on mobile 99.9% of the time and I don't know where that stupid app hides asks but I'm like the t-rex from Jurassic Park I can only perceive movement 😭

Second thank you so much for taking the time to ask about my mostest favorite topic in the whole wide world! Unfortunately there's not a lot I can say about the fic story-wise without spoilers, although I have SO MANY post-fic thoughts I'm dying to share. Unless someone really wants my thoughts on how gender works in this particular omegaverse variant?? I spent so much time thinking about something that's only tangentially mentioned lol BUT, I can talk a bit about the process of writing Mobius! Because it has been an experience. I started Mobius just over a year ago (april or so), but didn't really knuckle down and and get cracking until June/July. It started as aideku, because I thought it was an interesting ship idea, but the few fics I'd come across hadn't really scratched the itch. I didn't even plan on writing it, but my beta at the time kept nudging me, and before I knew it I had a wholeass plot. And then a first chapter, at which point I was done for. In the original iteration of the fic, Hizashi was only meant to be the supportive BFF, but something in the original idea run (I forget what exactly) made my beta go.... hey how come this isn't a poly ship? And the answer was, I'd never written one before and didn't think of it, BUT IT IS NOW. (If you've read any of my other fic you may have noticed that this has become A Problem, and also led to a stealth love of dekumic, because apparently I wish to languish in rarepair hell) The fic has gone through about four major version changes. Aideku -> aidekumic (which came with some major detail pivots even though the overall plot hadn't changed) -> suffering reduction (it was gonna be so bad) -> suffering reintroduction, but different. It's gonna punch everyone right in the heart but I don't think I'm sorry about it. I'm also going to have to sneak back to the first chapter and retcon a detail once I get the actual logistics sorted. OH WAIT I DO HAVE A DETAIL I CAN SHARE THAT'S NOT A SPOILER ANYMORE. Although maybe skip it if you haven't read the latest chapter. Hizashi was, originally, not going to get together with them this early (not until near the end of the fic, actually). They still had the bond, and Izuku did eventually figure it out, but for [redacted] he decided not to act on it. So they both thought they had a one-sided bond, and just... never did anything about it. For a long while. Which eventually culminated in Shouta being away, Hizashi having an untimely heat, and him and Izuku sleeping together because mash an unfulfilled bond together with overwrought pining in a hormone cocktail and you get bad choices. Which resulted in a lot of immediate guilt in the aftermath, even though Shouta had clocked them ages ago and wasn't all that upset about it. Then something immediately happened to make things worse, but I can't disclose that part because it's still going to happen. ;)

That continued to be the plan until chapter 11 happened, with all the snuggling and purring, and @fondofeveryprickle read it and was like, "...if you wanna keep this I think you need to reevaluate The Suffering because these things do not mesh." Which resulted in a lot of wailing and gnashing of teeth because that was a HUGE upset to the back half of the fic, and not something I was excited to re-jig. But she was right. And the new way was better. And then @scratchxiii said, "Hey what if we added Different Suffering?"

To which I replied, "Ouch my heart, that's absolutely devastating let's do it."

The blorbos uh, tend to get the worst of it when we're left unsupervised. BUT fresh suffering aside, the happy ending tag still applies, I'm just gonna make them earn it. :)

[marinaandthenimons]

Marina's Top 8 Albums of 2024

I listened to a ton of new music this year and I want to talk about it! So I wrote up a self-indulgent, comically long-winded list of my top 8 (+1) new albums I listened to this year. Check it out!

8. One Hand Clapping - Paul McCartney and Wings

The specific position of One Hand Clapping on this list has more to do with the fact that I'm not sure it really "counts" or not. One Hand Clapping was technically released for the first time this year but it was actually recorded in 1974, around the height of Paul McCartney's career as a solo artist (imo) and the peak of Wings' popularity. I've been on the verge of a Paul McCartney phase for a while now and this album was the perfect entry point to his discography. These are live in-studio recordings of classic McCartney, Wings, and even a few Beatles tracks but not like you've heard them before. The recordings are fresh and vital, dynamic and brimming with personality. You feel like the musicians are right there in the room with you, which depending on the track feels like Paul sitting next to you strumming a guitar or like a full orchestra playing right in your ear. I can't recommend it enough, even if you've never listened to McCartney's solo work. The energy is infectious!

7. The Long Way - Nicolette and the Nobodies

It might be recency bias that put this pick on the list, I did only start listening to it this week (after seeing it on music publication Exclaim's top 50 albums list). But I usually know if I'm going to like a new album in the first listen and I was locked into this one from the first few seconds. I don't listen to a whole ton of country but when I do, my favorite style is what I would (possibly erroneously) call "honky-tonk". This year The Long Way is the album that scratched that itch. From the first slamming piano chords on opener "Better Days" to the swinging chorus on "Rodeo" to the comfortably meandering title track "The Long Way" this album grabbed my attention, held it the entire (long) way and left me wishing I knew how to line dance. Of the artists on this list, Nicolette and the Nobodies seem to have been least successful in finding their audience so far (only 800 monthly listeners on spotify at time of writing?? a crime) but I really hope they stick with it. They've got something special here and I'd love to hear more from them.

6. Where We've Been, Where We Go From Here - Friko

My favorite album of 2023 was 3D Country by Geese, partly because it sounded like the future of rock music- at once familiar and new, packed with creative hooks and instantly addictive. Where We've Been, Where We Go from Here by Friko isn't quite there yet but it's definitely thinking some of the same thoughts. These kids are just starting out but they've already got a great sense for a memorable musical line. I love the way lyrics from the opening track fade back in at the end of the penultimate track, tying the album into a cohesive whole. I admire the singer's faith in his ability to hold the audience's attention with the stripped-back acoustic "For Ella". And the chorus on "Get Numb to it" just rips. Of all the indie rock I listened to this year, this is the album that stuck. I look forward to hearing where they go from here.

5. The Moon is in the Wrong Place - Shannon and the Clams

The Moon is in the Wrong Place is about grief. Very specifically, it's about grieving the lead singer's fiancé, who died very suddenly shortly before their wedding. This is not a secret, it's actually printed on a hype sticker affixed to the physical releases of the album (a little weird but okay), but the first time I listened to the album I did not know about this background. Without the context I thought the album was okay but a little disjointed and confusing. With the context, however, it transforms into a tragic spiral of foreboding to regret to cerebration to despair to remembrance. The track list jumps between songs set before and after the loss, mirroring the non-linear process of grief itself, gradually all melting together until we land at acceptance. And through it all Shannon still manages to deliver captivating songs in her signature fuzzy psychedelic garage rock style. It's beautiful, enchanting, cathartic, and definitely worth a listen.

4. Imaginal Disk - Magdalena Bay

When Brat came out this year I thought it was super overrated and my opinion hasn't really improved since then. I chalked it up to me not really being into pop as genre. So my first impression of listening to Imaginal Disk was that it was just another pop album I wasn't going to get. But then near the end of the track list I started getting sucked into the rich, layered production and decided it was probably worth another listen. And then another listen. And then another. And somewhere along the way it became one of my top albums of the year. It's a hazy, cosmic, extraterrestrial party packed with synths and some of the best dance beats of the year. Is it even possible to stay still on the drop on "That's My Floor" or the bang-bangs in "The Ballad of Matt and Mica"? It's a musically complex album that rewards multiple listens while also just being a whole lot of fun.

3. Where's My Utopia? - Yard Act

I think "Dream Job" might just be a perfect song. Sure, music is subjective, but there are some songs almost everyone agrees are all-timers. Mr. Brightside, Sweet Caroline, and now... Dream Job (why yes, I am white. How could you tell?). It's funky, it's smart, it's an undeniably crowd-pleaser. I don't think there's anyone I wouldn't recommend it to. I'm not sure I'd say that for the rest of Yard Act's Where's My Utopia, but the sheer number of times I listed to this album alone earns it a place on this list. Yard Act's mixed media approach to music, reminiscent of The Gorillaz, delivered with a smarmy attitude which evokes post-punk contemporaries like Viagra Boys, works better on some tracks than others. I love the way they pile hooks on top of hooks in songs like "The Undertow" but find it a bit overwhelming on tracks like "Grifter's Grief". I also really love album closer "Vineyard for the North", which proves that Yard Act stripped of all their tricks and bits can still write a great song. Of all my picks on this list, I think this album is the least consistent but god damn those highs are so so high.

2. It's Sorted - Cheekface

Comparisons to other heady nerd rock bands like They Might Be Giants and Cake are inevitable... and warranted. I saw someone describe Cheekface as a band made entirely of twitter drafts (but like, back when twitter was fun not twitter now) and that is also pretty accurate. But what you might miss from these comparisons alone is that grooves on It's Sorted also totally rip ass! Yes, "Grad School" and "Life in a Bag" feel like they're staring directly into my soul but they're also fantastic jams you can't help but sing and dance along to. I wore out every track on this album, and also the album that preceded it. Cheekface has a new fan.

1. All Hell - Los Campesinos!

Okay, okay. If you know anything about my music preferences, this pick might seem like kind of a cop-out. Obviously a new album (the first in 7 years!) from my favorite active band was going to place highly on this list, but I swear I was fully prepared to give this record a middle spot if I wasn't totally in love with it. Unfortunately, it really is just that good! Los Camp! are still very much themselves on All Hell. Every song is packed with their nervous energy and lead singer Gareth's wordy lyrics continue to lament adventures in love, politics, football, and vomiting. There's a lot for long-time fans to appreciate, but I also thing this might be one of their most accessible albums to date. You don't have to be a groupie to vibe to the opening guitar rift on "Holy Smoke (2005)" or the sugar-sweet lyrics to the chorus of "Moonstruck" (I have not been able to look at a full moon since this album came out without thinking "I am moooooonstruck/ it's a welcome fate"). And one reason I love about Los Camp! is that they are so good at evolving their sound in a way that feels organic. Each subsequent new album has introduced interesting new musical ideas while still making something that fells like it slots into the rest of their discography. All Hell continues this trend, and never more so than on "Long Throes", a sweeping orchestral scream of frustration at the state of modern (British) society and my #1 song of the year. The way the song loops and dips is utterly unique in Los Camp! discography and instantly demands you sing along. All Hell is everything I wanted from a new Los Camp! album and more. You can catch me at every single LA gig they are willing to play from now until one of us dies. LC!4LYF!!!

Btw, best lyrics of the year for me are from "Holy Smoke (2005)" - "Don't get me wrong I love my friends' kids, sure they'll grow to be good leftists Bet they'll make their parents proud and make the best of what they're left with But they don't buy the beers I drink, and they don't drink the beers I buy No children and no profession, walking dead at 37"

+1 Secret to Life - Fizz

One more! I wanted to give a shout out to my favorite album of this year that didn't come out this year. Secret to Life by Fizz came out in 2023 but somehow I completely overlooked it. I'm so glad I got ot rectify that mistake in 2024! If I were to make a band with my friends, Secret to Life is the kind of music I see us making. It's a little all over the place: sometimes a little goofy, sometimes heartrendingly earnest, sometimes just the right amount of sleazy, but always a lot of fun. This is a band made up of people who clearly just love creating music together... and also are obviously in their mid twenties. They're just like me fr. Fizz has already broken up to return to solo projects but I hope they find their way back together again someday.

Aaaand some honorable mentions:

Prelude to Ecstasy - The Last Dinner Party: Another great debut! Lots of dark academia riot grrl goodness. Looking forward to hearing more from them.

I Saw the TV Glow Soundtrack: Would have made the list if Imaginal Disk didn't also do everything I loved about this album while also having some of the best dance tracks of the year.

As it Ever Was, So it Will Be Again - The Decemberists: An epic, sprawling masterpiece that somehow manages to weave together folk, prog, samba, and indie rock into a fairly cohesive album. I liked it when it came out, but after the election it was pretty much the only thing I wanted to listen to for like a week. If you liked The Crane Wife but haven't checked out much else from The Decemberists, this one will probably work for you too.

Mountainhead - Everything Everything: I reaaaally wanted to love this one, but after about half a dozen plays, I had to admit it just wasn't that interesting to me. The singles and opening track are still bangers though.

GLOOM DIVISION - I Don't Know How But They Found Me: IDKHow is one of my favorite bands of the last few years so I thought this would be an automatic add to the list. I honestly can't tell you why it isn't. The songs are pretty good, I loved seeing them in concert, and yet I just don't really seem to come back to it. Still, if you like early P!atd and you haven't checked out IDKHow yet, you should! It's good.

Big Ideas - Remi Wolf: Didn't love enough of this record for it to make the main list, but it's still the best funk album I listened to this year. "Toro" is an all-timer.

The Past is Still Alive - Hurray for the Riff Raff: Folksy indie americana rock seems to be catnip for music critics. Most music publications' year end lists were packed with Waxahatchee and Adrianne Lenker and Kacey Musgraves and I found them all extremely boring. I think I need to admit this type of music is just not something I enjoy. This one did kind of work for me, though. Hurray for the Riff Raff actually infuses some energy into their songs and in a genre so focused on the micro I find their willingness to zoom out and talk about things outside of their immediate emotional state refreshing. Cool name, too.

And if you somehow made it to the end of this ridiculously long post (I love you) and want to check out any of the albums I mentioned, I put together a spotify playlist of my fave songs from each record, plus a few extra great tracks from this year. Check it out!

Let me know if you loved any of these albums or have any favorites from this year you'd like to share! I love discovering new music, and I guess technically there's still time for this list to change :D

Thanks for reading!

[melancholy-marionette]

Hi hi! I'm a fan of your yandere games and I just recently found out about your Tumblr account while hunting for fandoms of your games X3 I just finished playing Solipsism Reigns after letting it just sit there somewhere on my laptop for a whole year cuz I got attached to Kuro XD Ik your hands are already full from the amount of visual novels you've been creating so far but would you consider re-creating SR if you can? You don't have to feel obligated to ofc, I'm already impressed with the amount of visual novels you've cooked up XD (I'm quite nervous asking this cuz SR is so underrated and it's rarely talked about these days)

Hey hey! That’s awesome :D Super glad to hear it <3 

Yeeeeah, I mean, I don’t know for sure cos I’ve never looked, but I can’t imagine there's much in the way of fandoms for any of my games since they tend to fly under the radar x3 (my own fault for being incapable of using social media to promote stuff, I know T_T haha)

Since my following is mainly concentrated on itch I guess maybe that doesn’t help since other devs tend to post stuff in places like this and interact with people more. Heck, one of my supporters was even kind enough to make me a Discord server, which is incredible! But even with that, I struggle to use it regularly cos I can’t cope with live conversations very well >.< My social processing power is extremely limited T_T

The most frustrating thing is that I would like to be more active with social stuff, I just can’t handle it very well thanks to my ASD :( It only takes a little bit of social media for me to become completely overwhelmed and have to force myself to come off it so I don’t shut down, haha. It sucks.

Anyways, I’m rambling, sorry x3

That’s so cool you played SR :D my original baby, haha. It looks so old now T_T Every time I see it on my itch dashboard I end up thinking of all the things I would change now I have more experience as a dev! It makes me a happy bunny to hear that you got attached to Kuro though ^-^

Funnily enough... I had already planned to remake SR at some point :D 

As much as the project will always have a special place in my heart with it being my first-ever VN, there are many things about it that bother me too, haha. 

My hope is to eventually remake it from scratch (I kinda have no choice in that anyhow since I no longer have the old Tyranobuilder project files x3) in Naninovel :3 Cos I know Tyrano was kinda clunky >.< In Nani, I could make it all work more smoothly + add more in the way of visual FX and stuff too.

On top of that though, I plan to go over all of my writing because there’s sooooo much I’m not happy with (mainly glaring at the student route >.>) + with any luck add an entirely new route as well that I cut from the original release due to a lack of time to write it properly when I found out Kuro’s VA was going to be moving to another country and putting voice acting on hold, haha. 

There was also a BxG version in the works that’s currently on hold but features redesigned sprites by LazyPolarBear + CGs for a male protagonist x fem Kuro.

I’m not sure what I want to do about the music in the project because I feel like I chose the tracks well to fit the game, BUT, I’ve heard those same tracks in soooo many other people’s games now that I kind of hate that I used so much from Incompetch, haha. Kevin’s music is incredible, but since it’s very generously free to use, it does mean it’s kind of overused in games >.< I didn’t have any other option at the time cos I couldn’t make my own music and I didn’t have any money to buy asset packs.

Now that I tend to create my own OSTs, it would seem kind of insane not to make one for SR in the process of a proper remake. It’s just it would require me to make a lot of tracks x3 I’ll probably give it a go though + maybe keep a handful of Kevin’s ones that I really like too much to let go of, haha.

So yeah, my hope is to eventually remake the original otome version of SR in a different engine with edited + new writing, some new art, new UI, new FX, possibly an OST, and I guess new VA to go with the new writing :D 

I don’t really know when because I need to finish CiQ, DD, and Blue Blythe’s route in Bitter/Sweet before I tackle any more long-term projects x3 So it won’t be any time soon. Once I’ve managed to finish all of those though, I’ll probably make it my next long-term priority project :3

I’m genuinely flattered that you actually liked SR enough to even ask this! It always amazes me when anyone leaves a positive word about SR because I assumed that it had kinda just been lost to the sands of time at this point xD I know it’s definitely showing its age, haha. It’s nice to know there are still people out there who are willing to give it a chance if they happen to come across it somehow ^-^

I feel like my games are probably rarely talked about in general, haha. I mean, since I’m a fan of yandere games and play them myself, I do lurk in some communities + sometimes look at recs threads other people post to get ideas for things to add to my own playlist, and it’s not often that I see any of my games mentioned on recs or being discussed x3

I always kinda hope it’s cos people don’t know they exist rather than it being a case of them thinking they’re not worthy of mentioning xD Either way isn’t exactly great though I guess, haha. 

I just can’t promote stuff for the life of me cos I find it too overwhelming & exhausting + I don’t really have the self-confidence to try and put my games in front of people anyways cos I always feel like what I make isn’t good enough >.< I’m basically 100% reliant on other people sharing my games for anyone to even discover them x3 Either that or searching the yandere tag on itch, but even then, they might be kinda hard to locate cos they’re not super near the top since I don’t get as many people rating my games as other devs do. SR is my oldest game and it doesn’t even have 100 ratings yet on itch xD

If you search the yandere tag on itch and sort by ‘top rated’ 14 Days With You is first with a whopping 1238 total ratings as of searching right now while I type this… my first game to appear is Darling Duality as the 13th result with a mere 427 ratings by comparison, haha. And I’m pretty sure DD only got rated that much because of Manly’s video x3 Bitter/Sweet is next with only 228 total ratings by comparison.

I know people can just click on my itch profile if they happen to find and like 1 of my games and maybe want to see if I’ve made others, but a lot of people don’t realise you can do that, or they don’t know that I primarily make games with yanderes in x3 So they just go unnoticed.

Heck, Dawn of the Damned is related to Darling Duality, and even though DD is my most popular project, I can’t seem to get people to check out Dawn of the Damned, haha. At this point, the tiny demo for DD has 44.7k downloads (this still blows my mind o.o), and yet despite Dawn of the Damned being a completed project and set in the same universe featuring future DD characters, it only has 4036 total downloads as of today x3 If I can’t get the majority of my own followers to check out a game I made that’s set in the same universe, I have no hope of getting them to find my other yandere stuff T_T and even less hope of getting my games in front of people who have never heard of me as a dev, haha.

I’ve even had a handful of people tell me that they think Apartment No.9 is my best game, and that Doyle is their favourite ever yandere guy, but the project only has 3680 downloads x3

But yeah, my analytics on itch are really skewed cos pretty much all the numbers are for Darling Duality and my Yandere Heaven fandub. I may have somehow managed to get a fair few followers on there over the years, but I think probably something like 90% of them (possibly even more than that) are waiting for DD and aren’t interested in my other projects.

My poor Yandere Heaven fandub has received some attention (in fact, it’s actually beating DD on total downloads somehow), but there has been a lot of negativity + a looooot of 1* and 2* bad ratings on itch because, for some reason, people don’t realise it’s a fandub even though I put that very clearly on the page T_T So they rate the game badly with comments saying the story sucks, or that having no choices is stupid, the characters are dumb, or that it’s too goofy and OTT. None of which is even my fault since I’m trying to faithfully recreate the original content. All I wanted to do was make a Japanese drama CD into a VN fandub game >.< haha. 

I can’t believe I’ve rambled so much anyhow xD I’m so sorry, haha. It’s just one of those things that causes me a lot of confusion x3 I know I can’t handle social media very well and I fail at promo, but I can’t understand why a majority of my projects receive so few views/downloads in comparison to DD >.< I can’t for the life of me figure out what’s so appealing about DD and not my other stuff, haha. Unless it’s literally just cos Manly played it x3

Before I go though, I just wanna say a big thank you for playing my stuff :3 It really means a lot! I hope you get to have a super duper year ahead <3

[dinoburger]

None of us really know either way, but I do remember speculation in the mid-late 2010s re: whether or not the TF2 comics were leading into something space-related (between what happened to Sniper's mom, the spaceships located in several in-game maps, and the perpetually-unfinished valve map rd_asteroid that used to be in the game's playable map rotation). Entirely guesswork, plus a dash of hope that Valve would continue the storyline post-comics.

:\ yeah, though, ultimately… the comics really shook up the status quo of the game and the established setting, but it's hard to see what conclusion they could've been barrelling toward. Real intrigued by that comics/Helen infographic you posted a few days ago -- I've likewise been puzzling over what Helen's debt could be (for all of the comics' hiatus and then some, lmao). Either way, I don't believe there's enough foreshadowing for us to have figured out whatever-it-is, and then there's the eternal question of "What Comes After?" (both in-universe and regarding Valve's seemingly-dwindling interest in the IP) looming over it all.

(like tumblr user milfy, I'm not really sure what comic 7 could've done to conclude things in a satisfactory way. ngl, sometimes I wish we'd gotten something set during gravel war or mvm -- at the risk of sounding overly critical, I'll admit I personally feel like the fandom missed out on getting some more gravel war era/group-focused content.

though with the then-ongoing [and, hell, somehow-currently-ongoing] status of the game itself, I also feel like the comics ending on too Final a conclusion would've soured some folks' milk. perhaps this is why I continue to entertain the "it was leading into another update" train of thought -- the idea of the comics smacking a big old super-conclusive "The End" onto everything seems unlikely to me, but I cannot fathom what would have come afterwards. or how any currently-raised plot threads would be resolved, if at all.)

… This ask was a whole lotta reiteration/conjecture, so I want to add that I love the TF2 stuff you've been drawing/writing. The classic team and Conagher family lore are so, so fascinating to me, so it's been Like Christmas Morning to me for months lmao. have a good one -🍊

oh man, I would've loved to have more stuff that actually delved into developing the characters during the Gravel wars/MvM... hell, they could've even played off the Scream Fortress shenanigans and have like, a big, ridiculous magical adventure

I also didn't know about the space stuff, that also could've been a cool direction

there's part of me that wants to hope they had some idea of what they were doing but the more I look at it, the more the plot feels like it dissolved more into "stuff that feels really big and important happening" rather than one coherent mystery to unravel, which... the journey should also be important. This is the stuff people criticize Marvel movies for, the twist becomes more important than the actual story. Putting all the eggs in that basket.

I definitely agree... idk like. I think they even could've gotten away with having different canons and not feeling like they had to pin the ultimate resolution of the entire game to the comic, either. Comics can be like that! Different iterations and interpretations of the same universe, that's cool too! IPs get revised and retconned and improved all the time, tbh I think like... the current obsession people have with canonicity can be grating at times.

I think in some ways it's even harder to get past that with an inconclusive work like this because yeah, it does end up being that everyone hopes whatever the conclusion is will be worth the wait, that it'll scratch that itch, and the longer folks go imagining some grand conclusion the higher expectations end up being. You can't really blame them either, at a point, because that's all they really have to go off.

and thank you so much! I love those guys, so I'm grateful when it's appreciated!

[melbatron5000]

How to write a query letter:

All right, here's some practical advice on finding an agent from an indie author. (I do love some irony.)

I decided to go indie after hearing several horror stories from trad-published authors. Zero editing of their book before being published; having an editor get super excited about their work and buy it only to have that editor leave and and the new one be really unexcited about their work; having a publisher be super excited about their work only for the publisher to go under before they can actually go to print and their rights to their book be part of the IP that gets swallowed up in the bankruptcy, etc.

But when I first started writing, trad publishing was the only viable way to go. So I busted my ass trying to get my books published. I came very close to breaking in, and then decided to back out and go indie when that became realistic.

Here's a version of the template I created to write up a good query letter. This is what got me notes back and requests to see more. I hope it helps someone.

Firstly, of course you're terrible at describing your own work. Doing that sucks and is hard! Every writer HATES it. You're not alone.

Describe your story in three bits, try to make them as short as possible:

1. Who is your main character, what do they do, what makes them cool? "Jeremiah is a party-loving bullfrog who believes in peace."

2. What happens to fuck their life up? "When his best friend drinks all his wine, what's a bullfrog to do?"

3. What's at stake/how will our hero cope? Avoid asking questions here, don't say things like "can love and joy prevail?" Obviously it will, or there's no story. Say something more factual, like, "Jeremiah wants to get mad, but his motto has always been joy to the world." Give more of an idea how the character approaches the problem and the conflict involved rather than asking if the problem will be resolved.

3. Continued. That's how you write a book description to hook a new reader, but editors aren't new readers. Give away the end in a query letter. "Through the power of joy to the world, Jeremiah will see his way to bringing joy to you and me." And DON'T GET CUTE and think "oh, if I give away the end, they won't be hooked!" This is NOT a reader, this is an EDITOR. Show them you know how to stick the landing. Tell them the end.

Secondly, a query should open with who you are, why you wanted to write this story, what the story is about, and thank them for their time. Close it. Done. One page. I cannot stress how important this is: ONE PAGE.

So to try and clarify how the whole thingy should look:

Paragraph one: Dear Mr./Mrs./Mme. Smith (FIND OUT THE CORRECT NAME. You can ABSOLUTELY phone the secretary and ask. DO IT!) Hello, I'm Sunny Jim, and I love bullfrogs and hippies. I've been writing since I was a wee lil chitlin telling yarns to amuse my grandmammy. (If you've been published before, or have a degree, mention it here. If not, don't say shit. Zip it!) Please find attached/enclosed the first three pages (or however many this particular publisher/agent wants FIND OUT HOW MANY PAGES THEY WANT!! Call those secretaries!! Don't trust the website, who updates that shit anyway?? Not the agent or editor, that's who!) of my novel, Joy to the World.

Paragraph two: I decided to write a story about bullfrogs when I had a wild acid trip and the frogs told me to love all mankind, even when they piss me off.

Paragraph three: Jeremiah is a party-loving bullfrog who believes in peace. When his best friend drinks all his wine, what's a bullfrog to do? Jeremiah wants to get mad, but his motto has always been joy to the world. With the help of the love from the fishes in the deep blue sea, he sees his way clear to bringing joy to you and me.

Thank them for their time: I do so deeply appreciate you taking a moment to gander at my tale, Joy to the World. I hope it scratches an itch you didn't know you had.

Close: I look forward to hearing from you! Regards, Sunny Jim the Weird Hippie.

Thirdly, be yourself, be a little funny, but DON'T GET CUTE. Editors read hundred of these per HOUR, and the last thing they want is something the author thinks is cute. Think of your day job, maybe you have customers or new employees who think they'll be funny and just wind up looking dumb. Yeah, don't do that.

Be relaxed, be confident you've got a good story, don't write anything you think will make you "stand out." You know what will make you stand out? Being courteous, professional, and personable. Use your words judiciously and appropriately. Talk to the editor like you would talk to a busy co-worker whose work you value and who you genuinely like. Short and friendly. If things go well, that's who this person will become to you.

Anyhow, I hope this helps, and it's been a loooong time since I queried an agent and got a positive response, so if I'm getting this wrong now and you know better, do let me know. I can't imagine any of this advice has gone out of fashion, though. Being smart with your words, keeping your email short, and being polite and friendly has not steered me wrong yet.

Good luck out there, folks.