#'hansi's sex is hansi'

[hanszoe]

not sure if amab hansi anon is still out there but i'm thinking more about it today. i have read only very little original language material for the series and haven't read the manga so it's really difficult for me to say, but i was reminded of their childhood character profile written for that online game (反撃の翼?) around 2014 that i translated.

in canon as far as i know no one ever refers to hans with gendered terms. this is much more possible in japanese where gender neutral honorifics are used almost all of the time otherwise the subject or object is inferred. i've translated the panels where levi and eren talk about them in third person and あいつ is used, which is gender neutral (but is really informal, especially since levi talks about them in a rude way here).

however i remembered in that game class material, other characters' profiles refer to them with gendered terms, but hansi's uses 子供, "child".

i've heard what im not sure are myths or not about original japanese language material, such as original text being edited or revised, so i really cant affirm one way or another since i just don't have the money to research it honestly (old 別冊マガ serializations are resold for like $200 per volume).

i don't know what isayama's said about this actually, i don't know what's hearsay or not. i know he requested they not be gendered in translations after the kodansha usa issue, but he's also gendered them himself in quite a misogynistic way in volume 5 bonus, so who knows what exactly the originals look like or if something escaped popular notice that i just don't know about, or when exactly isayama has had to make these decisions about gendered language with them or what he communicated to other publishers, since in initial volumes it seems unlikely to me he would have explicitly avoided gendering them as female.

but anyway, assuming the publishers of that online game genuinely did receive instruction not to gender them, they used a neutral word here. now you have to consider what is "natural" in the sense of the language, which i am definitely also not able to say on my own, but in a group of children being called "girl", or "boy", it reads to me as strange, from an in universe perspective, to arrive at hansi and suddenly omit gender by saying "child".

obviously at 10 years old hans would have expressed some form of gender identity. but children are also very powerless, and only really have the knowledge and language that they have been taught. so much of intersex related trauma is being forcibly categorized. most of the world, japan included, does not view a child's consent as relevant before coercively assigning them a sex through surgery or hormones. it thus reads unusual to me that considering the context of eldian society, adults would avoid gendering hansi.

in meta, explained by isayama probably instructing them not to. in canon, interestingly implicative of something else making it difficult for them to. i'm not sure why adults in eldia would be any less childist than they are in our world, so why would what hansi said about their own gender identity matter? adults forcibly assign sex to children based on their primary sex characteristics. that is unless hansi genuinely was intersex, and at birth adults were unable to categorize them because there was no precedent for intersexism or medical assignment.

it wouldn't make them amab, since at that age i think they would have still been forcibly gendered that way, but does provide an interesting potentially canon intersex reading of them.

[amtskind]

everyone who knows franz kafka probably has seen this photo of him, with him slightly smiling at the viewer, while remaining to look a bit lost. the picture was taken in 1908, making kafka 25 years old at the time.

but wait - the photo is cropped!

kafka is petting a dog! but there is more to this picture, it still remains cropped -

that's better, that's the one. it reveals kafka not only sitting next to a dog, but also a woman. the question remains - who is she?

the very happy looking woman is juliane "hansi" szokoll, a wine-bar-waitress, who was 22 years old when the photo was taken. not much is known about her relationship to kafka.

according to the german biographer and literary scholar rüdiger safranski, hansi was also a part-time sex-worker.

that would explain, where kafka might have met her - and also why she mostly was cropped out of the picture, to show kafka in the way, that people wanted him to see for a long time - innocent and somewhat mysterious.

[dramionediscussion]

Can we talk about fic pet peeves?

I want to make it clear that this is not about a specific fic or author, but just some things I've seen in this fandom over the years. I've been reading Dramione for almost 15 years now and there are so many things that authors include that have become a pet peeve of mine.

This is not just exclusive to Dramione though, I have dabbled in other HP pairs before (e.g., Hansy, Theomione) and other fandoms (Gossip Girl, Elementary), and I have seen the same things there. I also have definitely come across some of these in published romance novels.

But this is a Dramione blog, so I will talk about them in context to this pairing.

Men being the cause of the breakup. So many times it's always Draco who messes up or says something horrible or doesn't "do enough". He is the one who has to repent and beg for forgiveness. Very rarely do you see a fic where Hermione is the one who is wrong and needs to apologize. And even when she does, it's always Draco who cuts her off and spins it around and makes him the bad guy who caused Hermione to be that way, and she doesn't actually have to work hard for forgiveness. Just a simple "I'm sorry" and he then says "no no, it's me....".

Having more than one conflict in a fic. Halfway through a story, the pair will have a major fight, which causes them to part. You then have a few chapters of them reflecting and then talking and making up. Then towards the last quarter of the fic, something comes up again and the characters react in the same way as before. You would think that they would have learned from the previous argument and not jump to conclusions and actually communicate. It feels like we are taking one step forward and 5 steps back. Why was this necessary? Why show your characters acting this way and show that they did not grow as people?

Focusing on so many other characters. I get that ensemble fics are a thing, but you need to say that in the beginning. You cannot just tag Draco and Hermione as the pairing, and then 5 chapters in, half the page is Harry and Ginny dialogue with no mention of the main pair. Let people know these things.

Speaking of other pairs, you need to tell your readers if you are gonna include scenes of Draco or Hermione having sex with other people. You need to tag these side pairings and say that we will read explicit scenes with Ron or Astoria or someone. We came for Draco and Hermione smut, not Ron or Pansy or Astoria or Viktor.

Since we are on the topic of tags. TAG ALL YOUR WARNINGS! So many times authors don't tag Rape/Non-Con!! Tag pregnancy difficulties, tag character deaths, tag the non-Dramione endings, tag violence, tag blood and gore, and tag any and all kink. Just tag things, it doesn't spoil the fic for people. Letting people know about things that may trigger them is not spoiling, it's human decency to let us know what your fic will entail.

Hermione's parents not being in the fic. Now I know Hermione sent her parents away before the war, but so many times you read about her not going back for them, not being able to retrieve their memory, then not wanting to be part of her life because of what she did. I understand it if this is a part of the fic, Hermione essentially grieving the loss of her parents. But what I have noticed is that most times author just have a throwaway line that her parents are not in her life, and it seems like it's not a big deal. Like oh well Hermione's mother is non-existent, but hey she has Molly now! Hermione's parents are not important in the HP canon, and it seems like authors feel the same, which is sad.

Molly being the matriarch of the trio. In canon, she kind of is because the stories are from Harry's perspective and he encounters the Weasleys and ingrains himself with their family, but she is always portrayed this way in fanfiction as well. As I mentioned in the previous comment, Hermione's mother isn't there so authors make Molly the mother figure for her, which is fine but authors make their relationship closer than what canon implies. But Draco also has a mother and most times we see Molly in the story more than Narcissa. I would assume that Narcissa would be the matriarch of that fic rather than Molly in a Dramione.

Harry and Ron being too involved in Hermione's life. Again this is fine, but it does get annoying to see fic after fic of them butting too much into her life and getting angry when she makes her own decisions. Friends should not try to control you, but guide and offer advice and be there if you fail.

Hermione not having friends outside of Harry and the Weasleys. I would assume that as they got older and got into the real world, they would meet new people and make new friends, not only stick to the same people they knew since they were 11. The Wizarding World is small, but we do have so many other characters in canon that you can use, it's okay to have Hermione become best friends with Padma, Luna, or Dean. You can have Draco even becoming bffs with Neville. He too is always stuck with Blaise or Theo and Pansy. Sometimes he doesn't have any friends and the fic only shows Hermione's friends.

If a fic starts off with Draco and Hermione having a relationship with another person, the breakup is always a bad one. People in real life have amicable breakups with their partners, it doesn't always have screaming and yelling and hatred. Most times this is used as a catalyst for the drama in a fic, but I would like to read a fic where Ron stays friends with Hermione and listens to her when she is talking about Draco, him offering advice or teasing her about a crush. It would be nice to see Astoria and Draco doing the same. And I say this as a huge "Ron Weasley Bashing" fan.

Hermione not knowing about fashion and makeup and having to rely on Ginny for help to get read for a date. Nowhere in canon does it claim that Hermione is like this, so how is this a common trope? I think this feeds into the "Hermione is not like other girls trope".

Hermione being the Brightest Witch of Her Age. In canon this is not a real thing, it is not an honorific that was bestowed on her by some sort of higher authority. It was something Harry and Remus said, it was their opinion. So having multiple people in a fic say this as though it is a proper title given to her annoys me honestly. Because when this happens, the fic always tends to have her being the only one who can solve the problem. So many people came before her and weren't able to do this particular thing, but Hermione somehow accomplished it without much help, with just a few books and at the ripe age of 24! These types of fics tend to have their characters fresh out of Hogwarts, so they are young but are able to become Heads of Departments! Can you imagine the 30/40-something-year-old who has been working for over 10/15 years in the ministry thinking it's only a matter of time before they get promoted to senior status, then suddenly this 20-year-old who just finished school walks in and gets the highest position without any experience or further education? I'd riot!

Draco not having a job. Many times fics have Hermione working hard in her career, but Draco is "in the family business" or "does investments". What does this mean???

Hermione being a virgin while Draco is the sex god. This trope feels sexist.

Hermione not doing anything muggle. This is similar to Harry in canon. It feels like Hermione forgot where she came from, and she doesn't care to go into the muggle world, or take Draco there.

Draco being obsessed with Hermione. Sometimes fics make his whole life revolve around her.

Luna being seen as weird. After all she has done and all she has shown to people that she is a smart, brave, very important friend to the trio, we still have scenes where Hermione and her friends make fun of Luna and her creatures. That is just rude.

This is all I can think of at the moment. I know this is a lot, but I kind of stopped reading fics for a while and as I managed Dramioneasks during this time, I would see new fics and just add them to my bookmarks. So I am now catching up on those fics and I feel like I am reading the same stuff over and over. Same tropes, same themes, same personalities, which is not a bad thing but it does give rise to pet peeves and thinking about older fics and how things haven't really changed over the last 15 years or so of my dramione life.

Again this is not from one fic or one author, but multiple fics and authors I have read over the years. Some of the fics I think are 5 stars have these pet peeves in them.

Do you guys agree with these? Do you have more to add? Leave them in the comments or send us a message. I would love to discuss and rant with you!

-Lisa

[hansrilowz]

help us understand hanschen to the extent that you do

EEEEEEEEHEH THANK U FOR THIS… i absolutely love hanschen and he’s been my favorite character in any media since i was like 13 and now i’m about to turn 21 😅

when i was about 13-15 i was on spring awakening tumblr and that was very crucial to my understanding of him at that time… despite having a lot of wrong and weird opinions while i was younger, i’ve continued on interacting with spring awakening media and continued to watch the musical and read the play as i got older. as i got older i understood him more and more. (i do want to note that every actors interpretation of hanschen is different, but this is my general opinion on his character all together.)

so, hanschen at the time of the musical was about 14. that’s a confusing time to be a kid, especially a queer one! a lot of people don’t seem to like hanschen, calling him creepy or manipulative. i feel like, again, a big part of understanding these characters is understanding that they’re children in an incredibly oppressive society. in contrast to the other spring awakening kids, hanschen has seemed to mature a lot more quickly, along with his peer melchior.

hanschen and melchior are the only characters in the show who know about sex at the beginning. melchior is more sex-positive, open to talking about it with moritz and teaching him about it. hanschen, on the other hand, is more neutral about it. in frank wedekind’s play, during his desdemona scene, there’s a line that says: “Thuman’s Psyche — another legacy of the hatchet-faced Mademoiselle Angélique, that rattlesnake in the paradise of my childhood;”. there’s another scene earlier in the play, in act one scene two, where melchior says: “-George Zirschnitz wanted to tell Hansy Rilow, but Hansy Rilow had already learned it all from his governess when he was little.”

these lines tell us that when hanschen was just a child, his governess had told him all about sex, as well as showing/teaching him about Thuman’s Psyche. hanschen uses the term “rattlesnake” to describe his governess, a term that tell us she was someone who shook up and made his mostly peaceful childhood chaotic.

in the classroom scene early on in the musical, different actors and productions usually work with how hanschen acts while moritz messes up his recitation and while melchior is having his speech interpreting Virgil’s Aeneid on moritz’s behalf before “all that’s known”. this is regarding the teacher criticizing moritz and hitting melchior with the teaching stick. for example: jonathan b. wright in the original cast is a little bit more naïve while actively trying not to let his confident façade slip, laughing at what the teacher says to please him but getting scolded and scared afterwards; though you can still see he has a childlike nervousness and tenseness to him. when melchior is hit, he jumps with the rest of the boys from being startled.

in contrast, andy mientus in deaf west spring awakening, is slightly less naïve and keeps up the fake cockiness slightly better. using clips from the june 13, 2015 performance, his hanschen seems more focused on making sure he truly pleases the teacher and doesn’t let the façade slip. he laughs along with the teacher, and while the teachers back is turned and melchior starts signing, he tries to seem unbothered. though while melchior is hit with the stick, we do see him flinch, letting the act that he seems unbothered slip. after “all that’s known” and moritz and melchior start signing to each other, hanschen chooses to blatantly ignore them as to not get in trouble. (which, if i remember correctly, was changed in some performances to have him seem bothered by them signing and making it known he doesn’t agree with them rebelling against the teacher, which still fits to his character.)

i think both of these interpretations are very true to hanschen. he’s still a kid, but he doesn’t want to test his luck with authority. he wants to please them and he doesn’t want to get in trouble. despite all that, he’s 14 and he still gets nervous and scared and both their interpretations show that. at the core of hanschens character, he was never meant to seem truly cocky or rude. his demeanor on the outside is practically just a survival instinct, as he knows he’s queer and he’s matured and knows how the world and reality can be. some additional context for this argument in the musical lies in the vineyard scene, where not only is he more softer and comfortable around ernst, he says these particular lines: “Trust me, there are only three ways a man can go. He can let the status quo defeat him - like Moritz. He can rock the boat like Melchior and be expelled. Or, he can bide his time, and let the system work for him - like me.”

the overall analysis of these lines is saying that you can either let your present situations suffocate you, stir things up and try and combat them to change things, or you can wait things out and work with what you have, like hanschen does. this tells us that yes, he is giving into pleasing authority despite not agreeing with them so things work out for him and he leads a steady life. this doesn’t make him cocky or stuck-up, he’s just more matured and knows what’s best for him at that time.

another misconception of hanschen’s character is calling him manipulative and creepy towards ernst. i’ve always thought that, in both the play and musical, their relationship has always been transparent with no hidden, creepy undertones. my personal favorite version of hanschen and ernst’s relationship is in deaf west spring awakening. andy mientus here plays hanschen very confidently, but he’s also afraid of getting his feelings hurt. he’s too afraid to get too emotionally invested to protect his feelings. in deaf west’s vineyard scene, when hanschen kisses ernst at first and then says: “When we look back, thirty years from now, tonight will seem unbelievably beautiful”, he moves to leave. he’s scared and doesn’t think ernst will reciprocate his feelings. then, when ernst grabs him and says, “In the meantime?”, hanschen takes that as a green light to kiss him again. that possibly, those feelings were reciprocated. after that second kiss ernst says: “On my way here this afternoon I’d thought perhaps we’d only talk”, and hanschen took it as a rejection. that he felt ernst was suddenly regretting what had happened. hanschen then says “So are you sorry we-?”, making this more obvious. he turned and started pulling away to leave. ernst then grabs hanschen saying that he loves him, which hanschen obviously softens up to him and realizes that his feelings are reciprocated. so, he was going to run away due to, what he thought was, a rejection.

hanschen, even if he did come off very confident, just had a wall he had put up to seem basically, nonchalant. he told us, and ernst, that he wants to lead a steady life and he will adapt to the world around him in order to do that. at the end of the day, regardless of this, he’s still a 14 year old boy with a messed up childhood that led to him maturing far faster than his peers. he was scared, nervous, and afraid of his feelings and getting hurt in any way.

those are the reason why he’s always been my favorite character, not just in spring awakening, but generally. he’s a blatant reminder that these kids are just about 14 and that, both back then and now, we all have had different ways of growing up and going about our insecurities. he’s a complex character and largely misunderstood, but at the end of the day his character is a representation of being emotionally mature at a young age due to trauma. he is another reminder of the overall story of spring awakening it’s message: what happens to kids when authoritarian figures around them are negligent.

[saintofdaggers]

I made up a new tag game, because why not! share five songs you would put in a horror movie soundtrack (any five songs except for actual horror movie soundtracks) and tag five or more people.

here are my picks:

Massive Attack - Heat Miser

Red MarKer - DMC 12 Gauge (where's that one post that's like "if a horror movie doesn't have synth on the soundtrack is it really sexy")

Witto Goom - Nightmare (most underrated artist ever)

Vessel - Red Sex

Black Nail Cabaret - GoGo (my horror movie would so have a strip club scene a la The Collector or Planet Terror. I'm gay and I'm not sorry)

tagging @rarilee33 @imissedthefuneral @adrianicsea @iinsawdious @ereb1d @hansy-pansy-art and @tabico-knucker :>

[c1tyhaunts]

*Dry hacks into a microphone* and now, a few slutty™ headcanons that nobody asked for.

Quickest Pipeline to bang/fuck Terrah? Get on her nerves. It's actually scientifically proven that the ships that work best for her are the ones that start with a bit of annoyance on her partner's side. Those who get under her skin can get under her clothes. She also enjoys a big... ego. Yeah, that. Both personality wise and... other. Eat her out to win her heart. Also in opposition to her quiet demeanor, she's loud. Very swayed by her partner's dirty talk; hell, you could get her to be more agreeable to certain topics during the act because she can be swayed by sex. It's the one fault in her system. Be hansy, be kissy, she'll be down whenever.

Manny is the kind of guy who gets hard off of giving his partner oral, and, on some occasions, has cummed from getting his partner off. He's also a big, big fan of dirty talk and talking through his partner through the entire thing. He's a gentleman in the streets, manwhore in the sheets. He often tests the water if his partner's looking to do something by starting to kiss them slowly from their hands, up to their neck, and all over before he's eventually on his knees. He's weak to his partner's needs, so they just need to make the inference that they want to fuck and he's ready.

Jacket/Richard is a Chronic Masturbator™; like, I'm talking maybe even once a day at minimum. It's not healthy. Some of his favorite porno genres include BDSM, Girl/Girl Action, and just recently, Knife/Gun Play. Jacket is very, very voyeuristic and eats things up with his eyes first, and often enjoys partners wearing nice clothes or lingerie during the act. Also does not mind being tied up and/or aggressive foreplay.

Lilah likes to give oral but ONLY when she's in a relationship with you. Also, she's definitely the kind of person that, if she's upset about something, she immediately cools down after sex. She only will have sex if she initiates it, not the other way around, and she learns she enjoys taking lead and asking her partner what they'd like to do to her. Almost guiding them to what she wants them to do. Also she has a oral fixation. What dat mouf do.

Avian's a fan of hardware for sex, she owns a few herself as she continues to explore her sexuality. Preference for vibrators. And as much as I don't like to admit it, she does enjoy some form of power dynamic - like her partner taking lead to guide her through the whole ordeal. She actually watches porn more than she'd like to admit that reflects that. Also has a big hands fixation.

I actually have a whole meta post in regards to Elvira & Sex that is important for her character so... stay tune for that.

[millennialgrandma]

August 2023 - Retroactive Words Recap

I spent the entire month of August traveling for work. That being said, I read a surprising amount of words.

Things I Read

I finally read another tradpub book this month, and it was an absolute fucking delight. I also reread a lot of disgusting smuts because at this point, they're stress relief comfort reads. Oh and, uh, I watched RWRB in August, which sparked a deeeeeep hyperfixation spiral that I have been holding at bay by SHEER FORCE OF WILL until I have the time to allow it. I'm being very brave about it.

Fiction:

Forget Me Not by Julie Soto (approx. 114,400 words)

Nonfiction:

Fanfiction:

Complete: (approx. 167.8k)

YUCK! by @the-francakes (hansy, E, 17.7k)

Reread: Hey, Princess by Madzola (dramione, E, 20.6k)

Nymphs of the Forbidden Forest by dirtyuncle (harmony, E, 13.1k)

A Most Unexpected Encounter by PhoenixofSlytherin (hermione/draco/theo/harry, E, 5.2k)

Reread: Stupid Games by @senlinyuwrites (dramione, E, 5.8k)

Reread: Confessions by @teacupniffler (hermione/draco/theo/pansy, E, 12.2k)

a taste by @frumpologist (sirius/ginny, E, 1.5k)

sex ed in 6 steps by coffeecatsme (firstprince, E, 9k)

When God Closes a Door (he should do it properly) by @clottedcreamfudge (firstprince, E, 6.5k)

we really like your vibe by AlterMortem (haladriel, E, 3.5k))

i will crucify my dreams to be on your side by AlterMortem (haladriel, E, 4k)

Reread: Good Girls Get to Sit on Santa's Lap by @whimsymanaged (dramione, E, 3.3k)

Reread: No Regrets for the New Year by @whimsymanaged (dramione, E, 2.8k)

Reread: Sucker 4 U by @whimsymanaged (dramione, E, 2.4k)

Reread: In-Class Demonstration by @whimsymanaged (dramione, E, 2.3k)

Right Way Down by @uselessenglishmajor (dramione, E, 16.6k)

Off the Ground by @pacific-rimbaud (dramione, E, 2.9k)

casualties by littlefoolswritings (darklina, E, 17.4k)

Lemme smash by @zeebee3 (dramione, E, 6.4k)

Would You Rather by @zeebee3 (dramione, E, 14.5k)

WIPs: (approx. 5.9k)

A Rake of Grangerous Proportions by @excluded-narrative - Chapters 1-3 (hermione/multi, E, 4.3k)

Change of Plan(t)s by @whimsymanaged (NOW COMPLETE) - Chapter 2 (herbadbottom, E, 1.6k)

[draqo-pctter]

first for everything // a hansy one shot for the forbidden fruit fest

Pansy had been Harry’s first for everything.

As a small child, she’d been his first sibling when his parents died. In adolescence, she became his first friend. Just before Fourth Year, she was his first kiss.

And there were a few more firsts afterward.

Or: The story of how Harry Potter fell helplessly in love with his step-sister, Pansy Parkinson.

words: 6,050

tags: nsfw, tep-siblings, background dramione, first kiss, first blowjob, first time, consensual underage sex

click here to read on ao3

[dhr-ao3]

The Embarrassing Snapshot of Draco at the Christmas Party

The Embarrassing Snapshot of Draco at the Christmas Party https://ift.tt/XGPTu3q by beric Yuletide is in full swing; the Auror Department, led by the decadent Draco Malfoy, has been chosen to host this year’s Ministry Christmas Party. Chaos ensues, as is expected of a boozy office party—especially when George Weasley’s special strain of Veritaserum, two oblivious idiots in love, and an impish Theodore Nott are involved. Based on the comic I drew for Instagram. Words: 6255, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: F/M Characters: Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoy, Theodore Nott, Harry Potter, Pansy Parkinson, Seamus Finnigan Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson/Harry Potter, Ginny Weasley/Blaise Zabini Additional Tags: POV Hermione Granger, Adult Hermione Granger, Ministry of Magic Employee Hermione Granger, Pining Hermione Granger, Good Draco Malfoy, Pining Draco Malfoy, Draco Malfoy & Harry Potter Friendship, Draco Malfoy is Bad at Feelings, Hansy - Freeform, implied Blinny, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Auror Draco Malfoy, Auror Harry Potter, Romantic Comedy, Secret Crush, Theo is a Little Shit, chaos demon Theo, Office Party, Christmas Party, Christmas Music, Christmas, Veritaserum Potion (Harry Potter), veritaserum shenanigans, No Ron Weasley Bashing, Vaginal Fingering, Cunnilingus, Rough Sex, implied marathon sex, Song: All I Want for Christmas Is You (Mariah Carey), I'm Sorry Mariah Carey, References to Mariah Carey's Music, 8 second draco malfoy via AO3 works tagged 'Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy' https://ift.tt/bIfMhKc July 01, 2024 at 02:46AM

[brimightwrite]

married dramione // one night stand hansy // unplanned and planned pregnancy // nsfw mentions // drabble

Pansy tiptoed around the 2nd floor of the ministry where all the auror offices were. She could not handle seeing /him/ today. As soon as she found the right office she bursted in.

"Draco I need to talk to you!" She was breathless and nervous.

"Hey Pans I have something to tell you to!" He sounded excited.

"You first mine is going to take more time to explain" Pansy flopped down into his uncomfortable office chairs.

Draco took a deep breath, "Hermione is pregnant. We think it happened on our wedding night but it also could've happened sometime in the honeymoon. We want you to be the godmother."

Pansy nearly fell out of her chair.

"GRANGERS WHAT?" Pansy screeched. "You've only been back from France for a week!"

"Malfoys are over achievers. Hermione has been off her potion for 4 months now." Draco was smug knowing it didn't take them anytime at all to get pregnant.

"Anyway Pans what did you need to tell me."

Pansy was looking at her feet. "Me and Granger cannot be pregnant at the same time." Pansy grumbled to herself.

This time is was Malfoys turn to fall out of his chair.

"YOUR WHAT?!" Malfoy screamed.

Before Pansy could answer someone knocked on his office door and entered.

"Malfoy are you okay? I heard yelling -- Oh hey Parkinson." It was him. Harry freaking Potter. The Boy lived but couldnt even cast a contraceptive charm.

Pansy turned on black stiletto heels. "Get out!" She seethed.

Harry stepped further into the office and shut the door.

"Did you tell her mate? I thought she'd be happier. Were going to be co godparents." Harry shot Pansy a flirty smile.

Draco was trying to gather his composure.

"Pansy you need to explain yourself. Now." Almost as if he didn't even register the fact Harry was in his office.

"Potter has to leave." Pansy crossed her arms over her chest.

Draco looked over at Harry. "Get out."

Harry threw his hands up in mock surrender. "Okay just maybe silence the room."

As Harry moved to leave he leaned over and whispered in Pansy's ear, "I would still love to take you to dinner." And with that he was gone.

As soon as the door shut Draco took out him wand, silenced the room, and summoned the fire whiskey out of his desk drawers.

"I would ask if you want a drink but obviously.." He motioned to her abdomen.

"Well I had sex in the loo at your wedding and then again later in his hotel room. And I unfortunately haven't had sex since then." Pansy couldn't help the blush crawling up her chest.

"Pansy that doesn't make sense the only person I saw you even remotely close with was Pott--"

Relaxation hit him and he drank his whiskey straight from the bottle.

"Does he know?"

"Did it look like he knew!?!!" She yelled and began to cry.

"I don't think i'll be able to handle my wife being pregnant and you at the same time." He walked around his desk and hugged his best friend.

[oknowkiss]

Let's start easy: tell me your thoughts on hansy ;)

hi! a measly one thousand years later, i am here to answer this.

my 100% truthful and honest opinion on hansy is that i think a solid 80% of people are trying to fit a square peg into a round hole when it comes to this ship.

there's something about hansy that is deeply hot to me, but at the same time i personally cannot see there being any true, deep love between them. when i write bi harry i often enjoy giving him a fling with pansy, which is almost always sex-forward. i can see him easily mixing up obsession with love ("he was rapidly becoming obsessed with draco malfoy" anyone?), and i always see them as having a femdom dynamic. but when it comes to building a loving relationship, i think there's too much history between them and i think pansy would not want to do the work (not out of laziness, but he simply would not be interesting enough longterm to make it worthwhile for her). i also think she would not want to deal with draco, and perhaps would get so annoyed with the both of them that she'd break up with harry specifically so that she could set him up with draco.

this is probably 10000% selection bias bc most of the hansy i see casually (meaning, having not gone looking for it) is as a side-pairing in dramione fic, where they're written as being solid romantic partners. to me, that doesn't happen without one of them being wildly OOC. i think they COULD stay together for a while, but tbh it's giving chaos.

[hanszoe]

it isn't really relevant to my analysis of them, but since this is a common question ("everyone sure likes that kind of topic"...) i interpret hansi as probably canonically intersex, ambiguously sexed by adults in childhood, later assigned female, nonbinary identity, and SzPD-related aspec to attraction to nonmen. of course they could also be perisex female etc., their creator is not educated about queer people.

if you're curious about my overall interpretation of parts of the narrative, please read my narrative analysis masterlist.

hans-related masterlist:

-name romanization (not my research) -estimated birth and training entry year -starting DoF of a rack focus in the anime i chose to interpret as their uncorrected vision (myopic, assuming no astigmatism -3.0 sphere) -ACTN3 genotype -dominant side phenotypes -eye injury

translations -scenes of sheltering from rain volume 6 [originally 7] Nanaba & Hansi Zoe and discrepancies between my translation and the official english translation -hansi talking about being uncomfortable wearing a gendered uniform in the junior high spinoff -isayama's responses to the commenter on his blog asking about hansi's sex

other -why is hansi depicted as fetishizing transfemininity in official material -what did isayama mean by "female in the anime"

poetry that reminds me of hansi -september by jennifer michael hecht -october by louise glück -the poem by franz wright -meditations in an emergency by cameron awkward-rich

[tweakin-journal]

*this is not to encourage drug use, don't blame me if you bite off more than you can chew

I wanted to make a side blog to document my experiences on crystal, starting this two weeks after my second time smoking.

Background things for context: I had done a bump once as a teenager ( bad choices lol, snorting glass is like snorting glass. And it burns so bad and will give you the worst headache ever.) I have been a daily weed smoker for years, have plenty of shroom experience, used to im ketamine daily, haven't had any in about 2 years, plenty of danphetamine experience, mostly Vyvanse and Adderall that was proscribed to me for adhd that I would occasionally do recreational doses. I've had several experiences on molly and bean at parties, coke hanging out on occasion, crack once ( doesn't last long enough to be worth the money or the feining), smoked spice once did not like it, got stuck on benzos for a month when I couldn't get k, worst withdrawals I've ever experienced, I stay away from that shit. Spent a lot of time cycling with alcohol, when it was at its worst I would cut myself off when I would call out from work or if I couldn't go 24 hours without getting shakey, havent had to do that in over a year, mostly because ive been working a lot and had other goals. Played around with whippet some. I think that covers my past drug use. And I'm a 24 year old cis woman.

How it started, my then bf now husband had found his mom's bubble, fuckin charred on the bottom like someone ad just taken a torch and burned through that bitch, with a lot left in it. He cleaned it, got super super horny, I left work used some flex time so I wouldn't miss the sex crazed window. About a month after that I bought a light gram from a dude ik from the bar who sold mostly heroin. He got too hansy, i could have over powered his short ass but I wanted the crystal so I let him a little before cutting him off. Went home thinking it wasn't worth it, my bf had started to act kinda feiny about it that scared me too. But those regrets and anxiety didn't last long.

First time smoking middle of January:

We started at 10 o'clock I was a little underwhelmed at first, it took about a hour and several hits to get the rush, but I had been having trouble holding it in. Got really horny watched porn and fucked for 17 hours, stopped smoking around 12 hours, at 13 hours I got kinda bored of the porn but was still very horny I was kinda couch locked. Throughout this time I was in and out of the shower we had been using Vaseline we Doordarshed for lube and I was enjoying washing it off and feeling the water, elite showers for sure. I wasn't able to cum by body just kinda got used to the intensity it ended up dulling out but before it did I had the most intense sex of my life. Must have spent hours giving head, got experimental picked up a few new tricks. We talked about porn and different things we like and don't like about it, we got more intimate than we had been and we were already really close and comfortable with each other, been together for 3 years, with a close friendship before that. We were porn locked and at about 2pm on Monday we got a message from his mom his brother that they and his niece was coming over, enter paranoia and panic cleaning mode, there was olvie oil everywhere sex toys everywhere sheets had to be taken care of, but we got it presentable in time. They came through and we someone manged to not get noticed, even was able to force ourselves to eat McDonald's which sucked. They left and the porn came back on and we kept smoking. I stopped at around 5 trying to give myself enough time to be OK to workTuesday. Took a shower at 6 and got the rush again, right back up. By 9 I was coming down and felt too tired to jerk off but too horny to sleep. By 12 he was smoking on the leftovers in the bubble by 3 he was hitting nothing and being a fien. I was just about asleep when he started to have a panic attack because he was coming down and starting to feel his heart rate and blood pressure and some unrelated nerve damage on his arm that has history of triggering panic attacks. So I stayed up with him to do what I could. I had to leave at 9 to go to work, and it was brutal, I was exhausted and sore and headachey and standing up with the blood pressure wasn't fun at all. At around 11 I had done some physical labor which warmed my body up and I got high again but not so much that my pupils were fucky. Made it through that day job in tact and got to sleep that night. Didn't experience any cravings for about 2 weeks after I had recovered from the come down

The high itself surprised me I felt so relaxed, the euphoric rush lasted about 15 mintirs and the high itself went on forever. Once I got past the coming down I immediately started planning to smoke again in 6 months

[blueskygreenearth-blog]

Melatonin

 yesterday was my first day, I decided to go sober, no alcohol and no weed, and I’m limiting my phone time, I don’t really have a problem with any of them, but I’m doing it to help someone I care about. First day so far was easy for me. I could tell they were annoyed especially with the phone time, because everyone is obsessed with their phones. Honestly though my sleep was the best part. I usually have a lot of nightmares, or stressful dreams. About three times a week I’ll have a random sex dream, but good dreams are rare about once month and then I get woken up by my dog. I don’t know if it was the melatonin, I used to help me sleep was the root cause of my dreams. I didn’t really feel sleepy when I took it. I fell asleep 2 hours later after. I dreamt that I was some other woman of Persian descent. I was dating some guy that looked a lot like Machine Gun Kelly, I’m not attracted to him, so I don’t know what that was about. In my dream I was having dinner with this woman I have never seen before; she was of Indian descent and apparently was my best friend in the dream. She confessed that she had made-out with my partner machine gun Kelly look-alike. Which I guess I didn’t seem to care. The good part about the dream was that I was at a really nice bar, drinking fancy drinks. I never have dreams like that. After she confesses, I head over to a pool party concert, and that was so much fun. I then run into Machine gun Kelly alike, and we make-out drink and have a great wonderful time. 

In my next dream, I lived in New York, both dreams took place in New York. I was wearing something really fancy, and this button-up shirt I was obsessed with. I’m listening to records with this guy, not sure who he is, but were getting pretty Hansy, and I’m drinking again. at some point were about have sex, but my mom and brother burst through the door yelling at each other. We fake were asleep, half naked underneath a blanket in the living room. Then my dog woke up by scratching herself.

Point of the story... is that I never dream that I’m drinking and I was able to dream of drinking my first day sober, and I felt a buzz, it must have been the melatonin. 

[mokuba]

I just took a DNA test, turns out: I’m 100% that bitch ❤️

[squeeprojectsllc]

A TRUE STORY FROM 1978*

By Scurvy Bastard  I was the mayor of Disneyland. Long Island City, NYC, was an industrial sandlot across the East River from the U.N., populated by taxi-driver musicians and wannabe artists too lazy to starve. Acquainted Manhattanites had dubbed our tenement, Disneyland, in reference to our resourceful madness and experiments with logic. Our 5-room shotgun-flat ran the length of the top floor’s north side. The rooms were narrow and small. With up to nine people “visiting” me for months at a time, the theory of firing a shell from one end to the other was often not displeasing. January 1978, rain. The local news is on the T.V.. Eve was at work while Leper Canolli and Rigor Mortis are ranting in the kitchen. I’m watching some son of Tex Antoine explain why the ceiling’s dripping on my head. I help myself to another line of something, washed down by a Beck’s and he’s gone. Now there’s another Chesire suit in the box but once he utters the password “Sex Pistols”, my auto-focus tightens in. We were all pissed off when we heard they were starting their first U.S. tour in Atlanta and assumed we would see them when they eventually got to New York. CBS-lips was now informing me that their plane will be landing at JFK in an hour, allowing the un-fab four a connecting flight south. I got up and walked to the front room, where our distinctive Christmas tree was still standing; although it was more of a “lean-to, 3rd St.-type-of-nod standing” by then. Several hypodermics still swung freely from anorexic branches, but the hanging tampons had begun to curl & smell. Shouldn’t have dunked them in ketchup. Spirit Of Punk, in’nit? I remembered Canolli’s exultant face when we gave her a coin-pouch/ key-chain for her present. The rubber pouch was actually a little pocket vagina, shaped & designed as realistic as a coin pouch could be to the real thing. Just the place to stuff your tuppence! I wondered what the assembly line ladies were thinking as they ran that year’s model in Taiwan. I looked out the window to my car, parked across the street. The relentless rain, which pounded the scarred neighborhood, seemed to be cleansing all filth from the bright cherry skin of my ’75 Malibu. JFK was just the other side of Queens. 20 minutes, tops. Fuck the Beatles! Five leaps, five rooms. I grabbed Rigor and LC and swung them into disoriented action. “History! History!” I proclaimed. They were both too young to remember the Beatle’s arrival & press conference or appreciate the cultural landmark that event had become. Here was their chance… an affirmation of the validity and value of Punk, the power of rebellion, voices in vermillion, spit rules! It was also something to do. The press intermingled, wet and annoyed. There seemed to be no other fans, but us, waiting at the arrivals gate. No waving placards, no fainting fringe-heads. An audible swelling coursed from behind the Immigration doors. Would-be Weegees and television crews positioned themselves like defenders at the gate. The exit flung open and a bustling entourage advanced in hurried formation, aiming for the open doors of the waiting limo. Shouts sliced the air. Impotent microphones swiveled like the necks of newborn chicks, desperate to be fed. The scrum of reporters tightened and moved with the small group of able-bodied minders intent on ushering the infamous quartet through a publicity-safe transfer. I was pushed to the back, but I could see clearly. As the band piled into the car, Canolli erupted from the crush and reached out for Johnny Rotten. Just before she was pulled back and swallowed by the swarm, I saw her shove something into the singer’s hand. The car doors slammed shut but the lane was blocked by traffic. The frustrated press realized their luck and surged forward, all cameras buzzing or clicking at the untinted window. In a moment, the corridor opened up and the band was but a memory. The press turned as one and glowered at Canolli while I was nearly on the floor, laughing my ass off. A perfect punk moment! There would be very little footage for the “News At Ten”, or eleven, or ever. When the cameras finally had advanced for the classic “Celebrity-In-Limo” money-shot, all that was visible was the hand of Johnny Rotten, palm against the glass, clearly displaying what appeared to be a miniature, rubber vagina. The Pistols went on to discover that America was their true-winter-land. I later saw Sid Vicious “perform” at Max’s Kansas City. He could barely stand and the backing band of ex-New York Dolls & John Cale did most of the singing. On the side of the stage there was a “chick vocalist” whom we later learned was named Nancy. Yeah, her. I’ve never seen any photos of the Pistols and the Pouch, but I’ve thought, if one were ever published, I would have a perfectly punk by-line ready. “Rotten Fingers Hold Fake Flesh!” Scurvy Bastard November 8th, 2003

* Hansi was called Leper Cannolli due to a weird dream that Scurvy had around that time.