#'fuck' count: approx. 35
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forgive me? - matty healy
prompt: lovers' quarrel
(mdni) and we continue ahead with valentine75!! ok pls do not look too closely at the argument here i suck so hard at angst i cant even half ass it as a setup for porn lol
warnings: oral (f receiving), hand stuff, idk there isn't huge amounts to this
The silence in your flat is deafening, stretching between you and Matty like a chasm, your anger welling so deeply at the bottom that you want to drown him in it.
“I’m sorry?” he ventures, and you whip around to face him. The sheepish grin he wears is, admittedly, distractingly adorable; usually, it’s enough to melt you at least a little, but this time you can barely see it through your blinding anger.
You scoff. “You’re sorry, huh? Oh, well, I guess that makes it totally fucking fine, then!” You kick off your shoes with more force than necessary, sending your expensive heels skittering across the floor. “Tonight was important to me, do you even realise that? Are you so up your own arse that you think everyone wants to be on the Matty show twenty-four seven, or do you just not care?” A sense of sick satisfaction spreads as he processes your words, expression crumbling for a split-second and reforming into a sharp sort of anger that warns that Matty isn’t going to make this easy for you.
Which suits you just fine. You’ve never been one for an easy win. Never been much for losing, either. You fold your arms as Matty rounds on you. “I’m up my own arse? That’s fuckin’ rich, comin’ from you, treatin’ me like a fuckin’ toddler all night!” He’s gesticulating wildly, accent thickening through his frustration, and it takes a tremendous amount of your self-control not to laugh. “Matty, don’t touch that. Matty, don’t talk to him. Matty, come back here.” He puts on an affectation of your voice and accent that’s equal parts insulting and hilarious, and you’re lucky he doesn’t pick up on your quiet snort of laughter. “You actually said come back here! Like I’m a damn dog!”
“Dog would’ve been better behaved, probably,” you mutter. “Wouldn’t have got belligerently drunk and accosted the press, either.” Matty steps closer, breathing hard, tongue darting out to wet his lips tantalisingly. Your traitorous eyes flicker down to his mouth, soft and pink and wet and tempting, and it’s a mission to haul your mind back on track.
“I didn’t fucking ‘accost’ anyone. I told them to get the fucking cameras out of my face, ‘cos I wasn’t gonna give them a fuckin’ story at your fuckin’ event.” Matty defends, and, okay, the sentiment is there, but he had just made everything endlessly worse.
Groaning, you bury your head in your hands. “I told you. I fucking asked you, one time, just nod your head, smile, say you’re proud of me. Was that so fucking hard for you?” You hadn’t meant to admit that part. That it stung not to have his approval.
“Don’t be fucking stupid,” Matty snaps. “Of course I’m fucking proud of you. You’re a fucking star. Just wish you weren’t so embarrassed of me,” he adds, and whatever part of your anger that had crumbled at first sharpens in your chest again at his attempt to guilt-trip you.
He’s not being fair — of course you’re not embarrassed by him, but his behaviour fucking embarrassed you! “You told a fucking crowd of journalists that Jamie, who I have been on a fucking months-long press tour with, and I quote, ‘acts like a massive wanker.’ And he fucking heard you!”
Matty shrugs. “Well, he does. Don’t like the way he talks to you. Could’ve called him a rude cunt, too. Would’ve been even more true.” he mutters sullenly, scowling at the ground.
“God, Matty, you are so— mmph!” You’re cut off by him surging forward, crushing your lips together in a bruising kiss. You pull his lower lip into your mouth and bite down on it, iron spilling over your tongue as the skin tears beneath your teeth. After a long, indulgent moment, you force yourself to shove him away, gasping. “You never fucking listen! You can’t just kiss me ‘cause you don’t wanna hear it,” you snap, pushing down the heat that wells instinctively between your legs.
He’s flushed, breathing hard, unfairly gorgeous like this. “You look so pretty when you’re mad, baby,” he murmurs, tucking a wisp of hair behind your ear, the gentle touch making you shudder. He’s a master at this; resolving your arguments with doe-eyed pouts and wet, needy kisses.
Your resolve is crumbling. “Matty, don’t,” you warn feebly, lust spinning dizzily in your mind and swelling until your rational thoughts are dissolved. Matty grins, predatory — he has you pinned, and he knows it.
”My pretty girl,” he murmurs against your lips. “My little star. Forgive me?” His eyes are wide, faux-innocence shining down at you as your last thread of self-control breaks. It isn’t lost on you that he hasn’t actually apologised, but as his lips press against yours and his tongue sweeps into your mouth, you can’t remember why you care.
His mouth doesn’t leave yours as he walks you to the sofa. Your stomach swoops as he pushes you down, desire thrumming in your veins. Every last thought falls out of your head as it knocks against the armrest, your back arching up towards him. “C’monn,” you whine, reaching out to him where he stands above you, his gaze hot as it roams eagerly across your skin.
Matty climbs over you, adjusting your legs so he can kneel between them, goosebumps breaking out where he slides a hand up your thigh, agonisingly close to where you need it. “Lift your hips for me, love,” he instructs, sliding your dress up your body until a puddle of satin pools around your waist, cool and slick against your heated skin. His warm fingers crook around your panties and he drags them down your legs, exposing your dripping cunt. A soft moan escapes you as he rubs a slow circle into your clit, pressing a gentle kiss to your inner thigh. “So much better than fighting, hm?” he teases, and a flash of annoyance cuts through the lust as you remember exactly how you got into this position.
”Don’t push it,” you hiss, raking a hand through his curls and tugging harshly. He whimpers deliciously against your skin, a pulse of heat spiking deep in your bones. “I’m still mad at you,” you warn, searching your rapidly-blurring mind for your long-foregone anger.
“So take it out on me,” he murmurs, eyes fixed on your cunt, your body tingling under his gaze.
”What?” Your mind is already hazy, the sight of his head low between your thighs infinitely distracting, the promise of his tongue unfathomably tempting.
“I’m going to put my mouth on your sweet little pussy, and I’m going to listen to everything you have to say until you come. Call me names, if you want. Tell me everything I’ve ever done in my life that’s fucked you off, and I won’t say a word.” It’s such a Matty way of resolving an argument that you can’t find a response. “You get to yell at me and you get to get off. Pretty good deal if you ask me.” Matty’s smirk splashes you with a bucket of cold water, latent frustration blooming under your skin — a sudden need to slap the smugness off his face overtakes you.
You beckon him, waiting until his eyes are closed and his lips are parted, a gentle breath brushing against your mouth. He relaxes, expecting a kiss, expecting to be off the hook, and you crack a hand hard across his cheek with a grin. “God, that felt good,” you say as he recoils, rolling your eyes theatrically at his punched-out moan. “Such a fucking slut. Put your mouth to better use before I change my mind.” He shouldn’t make it so easy for you to take back the upper hand.
It’s almost comical how quickly his tongue is buried inside you, a thick pulse of heat sent kicking in your cunt. Unwilling to give him the satisfaction, you swallow a moan as you bury a hand in his curls. “Wish I could fuck your pretty mouth. Shut you up proper for once.” Matty moans into your cunt, the sound deliciously gratifying as it vibrates through you. “That’s your problem, you know,” you continue, the effort of keeping your voice level monumental against the waves of pleasure rising inside you. “You never fucking shut up. You’re— mmh, so fucking arrogant. You act like— ah!” His teeth scrape over your clit and you cry out, grinding your hips against his face as heat throbs sharply under your skin.
”Go on,” he says, grinning up at you with wet, slick lips. He hisses as you yank his curls harshly, dragging his mouth back to your cunt. He licks at you like a starving man, heat pooling in your belly, your limbs trembling and toes curling.
”You act like the fucking world revolves around you,” you continue, struggling to drag the words to the forefront of your soupy mind. “You’re so fucking— God, Matty, fuck!” you whimper, the rest of your sentence lost in the mind-numbing pleasure swirling through you. Matty isn’t playing fair, licking and sucking and kissing at you sweetly, your world blurring around him.
He pulls away and quirks an eyebrow at you, like he’s waiting for your surrender. As fucking if. You take a moment to catch your breath, fingers digging into the edge of the sofa to anchor yourself before he dips his head again, licking a broad stripe along your cunt that makes you whine pathetically at him. “You’re ridiculously pretentious,” you bite out, gasping as his tongue fucks into you in an obscene, glorious rhythm. Ecstasy coils in your limbs, your body heavy at the edge of oblivion. “Disrespectful. And you just. Don’t. Fucking. Listen.” You punctuate your last words rocking your hips against his face, your cunt fluttering around his tongue.
Matty presses wet kisses to your thighs, sweet and teasing as you whine. “Are you done?”
“Repeat it back to me,” you order as he licks his lips, framed prettily by the V of your legs. “So I know you were listening.”
“I’m irresponsible.” He kisses your inner thigh. “Arrogant. Inappropriate at the worst times.” He licks at your clit and you buck your hips against his face, fighting to hold at bay the flood of heat waiting to overwhelm you. “The people you work with think I’m white trash.”
You fist a hand in his curls, tugging hard enough that you feel him hiss in pain against your skin. “Don’t be a smartarse.”
You can sense that he’s about to argue, but thinks better of it at the last second. “I’m pretentious. Disrespectful,” he continues. “And I just.” He laps at your clit. “Don’t.” Heat floods your body as Matty slides two fingers into your sopping cunt and crooks them at an angle that has molten pleasure spilling over you. “Listen.” He sucks gently on your swollen clit, the pleasure enough to pull you over the edge, ecstasy coiling deliciously around your insides. You whimper, grinding down against his face as you come, your cunt fluttering around Matty’s tongue.
You sigh contentedly. “Good boy,” you murmur, savouring his shudder. “So good when your mouth’s full of my cunt. Like you so much better when you’re not talking.”
Matty looks up, eyes wide and face soaked with you. “Forgive me?” he asks, wearing the same sheepish grin that had failed to sway you before.
You sigh dramatically, the seeds of an idea taking shape in your mind. “Come here,” you say, a fond smile tugging at your lips. It’s a struggle to keep it from turning cruel as he takes the bait. “Silly boy.” Eagerly, Matty climbs over you, cupping your jaw and pressing his lips to yours, gently at first, turning hungry as you swallow down the taste of yourself. He moans into your mouth, grinding his clothed cock against your sensitive core. “Needy, are you?” you tease, a faint edge of danger lacing your tone. “Want me to get you off?” Glassy-eyed, he nods down at you, sweet and pleading. “Use your words.”
He swallows thickly, blinking hard. “Want you to make me cum,” Matty murmurs, casting his eyes down like he’s ashamed. You raise an eyebrow when his gaze lands back on your face, and he adds a reluctant, “Please.”
Sliding out from under him, you lead him into your bedroom, laughing derisively as he strips out of his jeans and boxers before the door even shuts. “God, you’re pathetic,” you scoff, smirking as his eager expression falters slightly with the realisation you haven’t let him off the hook.
“Mhmm,” Matty agrees, switching tack and plying you with sweet doe eyes.
“Get on the bed,” you order, kneeling in his lap when he obeys. His hands wander to the hem of your dress, brushing over your thighs as he starts to lift it, and you swat him away. “Think you deserve to fuck me after the way you acted today?” You glare down at him, pulling at his hair to tip his head up towards you. After a long moment, his internal war clear on his face, Matty shakes his head mutely. “No. But you’re being good now, so…”
Matty inhales sharply when you wrap your hand around his cock, flushed and sticky with want. You pump him slowly, spreading precum over him, and he trembles with the effort of holding himself still, sweetly pliant under your hand. “Thank you,” he mumbles, swallowing thickly.
You lean down to press your lips against his, swallowing his needy, suppressed moans. “It’s okay, baby. Being so good. Can fuck my hand if you need to.” You’re being cruel, now, knowing how you’re going to leave him, but it’s sickly thrilling having him in your power like this.
Murmured thanks fall from his lips between sweet little whines, his hips bucking into your fist as his cock leaks over your skin. Languidly, you press your tongue into his mouth, trading long, sloppy kisses broken up by Matty’s pleasured moans.
Taking Matty apart under your skilled hands is easy, now; you’re practised in everything he likes. You dig your thumb into his slit, twist your wrist just so, swallow every sweet noise he makes. His body tenses, his groans deepening, turning rhythmic, signalling his orgasm. You let him chase his release up until the very last second, pulling away and smirking meanly down at him.
Confusion clouds across Matty’s face as he looks up at you, reeling from his ruined orgasm as if you’ve slapped him. You let him catch his breath before you take him in your hand again, working over him, pulling him to the edge again. “Do you have anything to say, baby?”
Matty’s mouth falls open, the struggle to pull any meaning from your words plain on his face. “Please?” he tries, face falling when you shake your head, a moan escaping him as you flick your thumb over his slit. “Thank you,” he mumbles thickly. “I love you.”
You cock your head, appraising him. “That’s nice. But not quite. Try to think a little bit harder, yeah? I know that’s tough when I’ve got you all stupid for me, but try,” you croon, tone sympathetic and deriding all at once.
Matty’s face scrunches in concentration. “‘M sorry!” he chokes out, whining when you press a kiss to the head of his cock.
“That’s it,” you breathe, kissing him softly in reward. “Good boy.” Arousal coils in your belly at the sight of him, breaking into a thoughtless mess under your hands. You stroke over his cock a few times more, watching his stomach tense and relax as his orgasm builds. Then you stop, letting him whine desperately into your mouth.
He hasn’t wised to your game, still hopeful through his lust-hazy gaze. “You embarrassed me today,” you chide. “Why?” You dip your head, lapping over the tip of his cock, letting him thrust into your mouth, a spit trail connecting your skin for a brief moment. You kiss the salt of him back into his mouth, devouring his desperate moans as you stroke him. “I asked you a question,” you murmur against his lips.
There’s an answer forming on his tongue, you can see, watching him struggle to swallow it down. You pull away, lifting your hand to lap the taste of him off your fingers, giving an exaggerated moan. Matty whimpers, desperate, hips rocking against nothing as you batter against his defences. A burst of pleasure licks up your spine when you drag your fingers through your still-soaked cunt. Matty’s answering moan as you wrap your wet fingers around his cock is nothing short of pathetic, low and thick with lust. Clicking your tongue disapprovingly, you repeat your question, the ensuing silence thick with the unsaid. You know the answer, but it’s no fun not to pry it out of him. “I was jealous, okay!” he gasps out.
He won’t meet your eyes, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “Aw, I know,” you croon sympathetically. Your touches turn tender, coaxing. “It’s okay, baby. Don’t need to be jealous. Don’t want anyone but you. I’m yours, yeah?” you promise, lifting his head to deliver your words into his shadowed eyes.
“Mine,” he echoes faintly, rolling his hips up into your hand and whining. Your thighs clench at his possessive tone; you love being his, being the only one who gets to have him like this. “Gonna cum, fuck, please let me cum, fuck!” The last syllable crumbles into a sob as you pull away, ruining him for the final time. “‘M sorry, ‘M sorry, please let me cum,” he whimpers, so sweetly pathetic that you almost want to let him cum.
Almost. Matty’s chest heaves, struggling for breath and sanity as you climb off him, smoothing your dress down nonchalantly. Pouting down at him, you click your tongue condescendingly. “Poor baby. You don’t get to cum tonight, okay? How are you gonna learn a lesson if I give you what you want now?”
He gasps, chokes, twitching as he fights to stay still. “Please?” he murmurs, so quiet that you aren’t sure whether he’s addressing it to you or subconsciously voicing his need.
Either way, you shake your head at him with a shrug. “Get control of yourself and we can watch a movie, yeah?”
Matty gives a shuddering nod as you turn to leave, squaring your shoulders so you don’t look back at him.
After a few minutes, Matty slopes into the living room, dressed but still looking fucked-out, hair wild and eyes downcast. You rest your head in his lap when he comes to sit beside you, smiling blithely and uncaringly up at him.
“Are you still mad?” he ventures, petting your hair tentatively.
“Depends,” you answer, feeling his body tense at your words “Are you gonna pull that shit again?”
“No,” he replies without hesitation, shuddering at the thought of what you just put him through
“Then no,” you grin, and Matty relaxes under you. “But you still don’t get to cum,” you can’t resist adding.
He pouts down at you, but his eyes are shining with mischief, any lingering tension fully faded now. “Can I make you come again, then?”
Sitting up, you climb into his lap and kiss him for a long, luxurious moment, heat swelling between you as his tongue slides against yours. “Say please.”
#'fuck' count: approx. 35#matty healy#matty healy x reader#matty healy smut#matty healy imagine#the 1975#the 1975 fanfic#the 1975 smut#writing#smut#valentine75
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Hi! tracing fingers down your partner's chest for Lydia, smiling in-between kisses for Rohid and/ or bridal carries for Richard pretty please? ^^
Total word count: approx. 1850
Fandom: Fallen Hero by Malin Ryden
Pairings: Chargestep (Lydia/Ricardo), Steelstep (Rohid/Chen), Flystep (Richard/Daniel)
Time elapsed: 1 hour, 35 minutes
Physical Intimacy Prompts
Lydia
A zip ran down the center of Lydia’s breastbone and she barely managed to resist biting down on her lower lip. Somewhere, out in the real world, dawn was breaking. The city never fully slept, but there was enough of a lull in activity in Ricardo’s building that it felt like a gentle stirring rather than an uptick in traffic and car alarms.
Her heart begged to differ and was currently trying to climb up out of her throat, slamming into everything it could along the way. Her lungs, her ribs, her. Her. His fingers dipped slightly, tracing a vicious scar over her clavicle before curling away like a whisper of smoke over her chest.
Drifting in aimless patterns over her skin. First light circles, pausing over a ragged edge. A change in texture as he turned his hand over, gliding the backs of his fingernails across the curve of a tattoo. Smooth and rounded, then, as he let his fingertips angle enough to drag nails over her. Not enough to scratch.
A wake up call sent to delicate, tickle flinch nerve endings that sparked to life.
Every touch he was giving her was feather fluff agony, far too light to be satisfying. Too little to settle the pounding of her heart which she knew he could feel, there was no way he couldn’t, it was practically starting a band in her throat and he was being too quiet.
Lydia glanced down and followed his eyes to where his palm was resting flat, just in the center above her sternum. Watching him watching his own fingers, curling in against his palm. Not tight. Not a fist. Impossible to tell where his thoughts were spinning, but not hard to guess. She’d never had the strength to use that weapon—to ask how long he’d spent. Bent over her, pumping her heart to keep her alive. Hands bruising instead of gliding.
He'd cracked ribs. Lydia’s skin tingled as if it could remember.
“Did you really kick Hollow Ground in the teeth?” well. That answered that question.
Lydia hoped the snort didn’t sound forced. “Pssht. Not like I did it for you,” hand coming up, unbidden, to flatten his back out over her. Pressing until he let his fingers go out flat again.
“Thought you said you were only there to help me investigate?” giving her a. She hated when he looked like that. Too bone weary. She hoped he didn’t know he was doing it; the look was better off unintentional. Looking exhausted and solemn instead of teasing and smug. The dig didn’t hit pay dirt, though.
“She wanted me--La Bruja--to join her crew. Or at the very least wanted me to pay her dues to work for her,” not too much of an admission, considering what he already knew.
“Shit, really?” a little note in his voice. Not entirely genuine surprise, then? But that was allowable because his fingers were moving again. Sliding out from under her hand. Drawing designs and patterns over the dip and swell of her breast. “And it was a bad offer?”
“Obviously. I introduced her mouth to my foot at that point, so I’m not sure what else was included in her proposal,” a little embellishment, but only for flare—Ric’s fingers were getting dangerously close to. To. “But there’s no way I’d ever work with her,” muttered without a thought and. “Not knowing how--,” how you hate her. But it was too late. His fingers had slid over a different set of nerves on her chest.
Like watching the edge of a knife descending. One of the many masks slipping into place. This one curled at the corners of his lips, but he forgot to change up his eyes. “So it is because of me,” the tone was gloating, light and proud. Trying to tease, but his stupid fucking eyes weren’t in it and it made Lydia’s chest clench all the tighter for its absence.
Lydia swallowed dry. “Don’t go getting a fat head over it,” too wavy in her throat. “Just because I’m not going to work with your mortal enemy doesn’t mean that I like you or anything,” trying to force the conversation somewhere that light could hit it. Raising his hand up to press her lips to his palm.
Rohid
A quick peck. All it was meant to be, just a quick little smack of lip on lip before they darted out of the door and back to the streets. They were going to let that little blip of contact feed them for the rest of the day.
Spoon had had other plans, weaving his lanky body behind Rohid’s legs and planting himself firmly between the regene and the door. Clearly in cahoots with the man that then pressed himself up against Rohid’s front, smiling into the longer kiss that he stole in retaliation. Pulling a soft sound out of Rohid’s chest with his next move, wrapping his arms tighter around their waist and tugging them. Walking together back towards his couch.
Not asking them not to leave.
Just letting soft touch after soft touch pepper itself along Rohid’s mouth until it curled into a grin for him. Cotton balls of pleasure filling Rohid’s sinus cavities, stuffing them up until the only escape was giggling against Chen’s tongue as it slid between their lips.
The only reasonable counterattack was to return fire, lips stretching thin as they disregarded the urge to fight back their smile and instead nipped at Chen’s bottom lip. Enough to make the man that was.
Huh. When did Chen start pressing them down into the couch cushions? Rohid’s brain politely set the question on fire. It had better things to focus on. Like Chen’s own smile, crooked and twisted and making Rohid’s heart do a very complicated dance with their lungs. And like Chen’s tongue, that was flicking out to try and open them back up again for another, deeper kiss.
They allowed the intrusion, but they couldn’t wipe the smile off their face. Couldn’t stop the bright, soft tittering escaping their throat. Voice strong for once. Sounding like their old self, for once. Both hands holding Chen’s head still, giving them enough space to press their giggling grin to his cheek.
“Can I stay longer?” was what they meant to ask. There had been so many months between the last time they had been able to speak clearly that hearing it from their own chest hit like a punch to the throat. Their voice withered in their throat halfway through, but Chen’s mouth was there. Hiding the shift with a kiss.
“As long as you want, Ro,” and another. And again. And. “As long as you want,”
Richard
The Drop was always anticipated. Which was shitty of him, and he knew it, but it was there all the same.
Or maybe that was just the excuse he used to curled into the heat of Danny’s chest like an arthritic old dog curling up in a patch of sunlight. Arms pulling him in until Richard could nestle into the crook of his neck and sigh.
There was no whining from his knees, no muttering from his hips, even with the position forcing his joints to flex. Something about the how. The how in how Daniel held him.
The Drop wasn’t incoming, and he knew it. They both knew it. All the letting down had been on Richard’s end.
“Thank you,” whispered. A bitter, curmudgeonly voice from the back of his head protested that being carried around like a doll was demeaning. Every single other voice pushed it to the back of the crowd and gave it dirty looks when it started hissing again.
Daniel shifted his weight slightly and grinned, thoughts swirling up in a wonderfully warm updraft.
“No problem,” chuckling and squeezing him just enough for Richard to sink even further into that sensation. Held fast. As if he were something worth holding onto, despite all the evidence to the contrary. Wingbeats fluttered against his arm. “How is it?” knowing that Richard would know what he meant.
“Healing. At least that’s what they tell me. A little bit better every day,” Shrugging as much as he could, turning his head to let his forehead rest on the swell of Daniel’s trapezius muscle. Separated by a thin cotton t shirt and Richard’s self control that kept him from mouthing at the freckles he knew were waiting there. “It doesn’t hurt too badly today,” it was his hips that had prompted the request.
Bruised pride and stubborn ego had fallen sharply away when he realized that he was going to have to climb the stairs to his apartment and the unseasonable spike of humidity was going to make every step a particularly excruciating torture.
A quick text and Danny had fluttered down from their shared balcony like a falling leaf, looped the grocery bags around either elbow and then, like just another piece of shopping, scooped Richard up against his chest. His thoughts had glowed and spiraled, beyond pleased that Richard was willing to ask for his help. And Richard had only grumbled a few times. Or three. Before Danny had nuzzled his nose against his temple and drove those complaints back into the dark.
Of course, when they landed back up on the balcony, Richard could have easily peeled himself out of Danny’s grip. But.
Well.
It. Well. That thought sheepishly drew a circle with its toe and struggled to make eye contact.
Danny had the decency to laugh and not feel too put upon, carefully maneuvering the shopping off of his forearms without jostling Richard out of his grip. It was a fraction closer to ridiculous than Richard was normally given to but feeling Danny’s heat against him. The safety of his arms and the soft brush of his mind and. He couldn’t bring himself to feel too guilty about having Danny hover for a few more seconds, holding him close. “How was your day?” asked out loud even though Richard could feel the question from a dozen or so miles away.
“It’s better now that I’m home,” with a very pointed squeeze around Danny’s shoulders. Home in your arms, he didn’t say, but pushed the thought loudly enough into Danny’s mind for it to register. For a faint blush to spread over those cheeks, making his scar stand out all the clearer. “What about yours?” casually flipping through the surface thoughts that Daniel always presented like he was browsing magazine covers at the check out line.
A minor altercation. A lot of paperwork. A lot of coffee. Threaded with hints of something much more frustrating that his thoughts were working hard to keep shuffled away. Richard considering dipping his fingers into the fray, but thought better of it. “Not too bad, then?” chuckling as Danny offered up his own shrug.
“Boring,” but the necessary bits were what they were, he added on. Hoping to keep whatever it was that had upset him saved for another time. Softening as he turned his head to kiss Richard between the eyebrows. Point taken, Richard slid out of his head. “Better now that you’re home, though,”
#fallen hero fanfic#fhr#fallen hero#thank you!#flash fiction#chargestep#steelstep#flystep#ricardo ortega#lydia becerra#wei chen#rohid chenthilmurugan#daniel sullivan#richard abekket#hntf adjacent when it hits richard's because of course
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G'day mate!
Got a prompt for you! 😁
https://aussieez.tumblr.com/post/673663229453615104
#35, 45 for Sam & Dahlia pretty please 🙏
💜 Ez
#35... “would you be upset if I kissed you?”
#45... “it’s like three in the morning, what the fuck are you doing?”
Prompt list by @sourholland.
This has been sitting in my folder since Jan, yikes! Just decided to make it a very short scene. My writing mojo is on the fritz. Really need to clear out these drafts.
Word Count: 170 approx. Rating: MA (Mature) No Warnings.
“Why you’d want me is important... I’m going to need some in-depth explanation behind you summoning me here... It’s like three in the morning, what the fuck are you doing?”
“Would you be upset if I kissed you? Right here in my doorway, where passersby can see us?” She pretends to peer around the hallway to see if someone would catch them.
“I’m here, darling... at this hour... I don’t give a damn what they see or hear... should you let me in that is...”
He steps so close into her personal space that she becomes flushed, his lips ghosting hers as he gently toys with her hair. Before she can say anything further, he has covered her lips in his as his hand comes to her waist, snapping her into him as his tongue speaks its wordless language.
He feels her tug him inside and laughs into their kiss... “So easy...”
"I thought that's how you liked me! I hope you're ready, 'cause I am going to take you slowly..."
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Nobody’s Fool (Chapter #36)
Here comes Chapter #36! Post show, both Penn and Eveline unwind. That is until something unexpected happens!
Previous: Chapter #35
Next: Chapter #37
CW: Adult language ________________________________________
NOBODY'S FOOL
Chapter #36: Bait and Switch
Word Count: 1,164 Read Time: Approx. 9 mins
[Eveline's POV]
Almost immediately upon closing the door and taking a few steps down the hall, I ran into Stephanie, the PA with the kind brown eyes and round face. I coordinated with her about the fan, “If you can bring her backstage and just come get me when she arrives? I don’t want to hover or anything but… just in case.” She nodded. With that, I headed off to the green room, far down the hallway and around the corner, to hang with the rest of the gang. Riley was slumped in a lounge chair, ratty converse propped up on an upholstered ottoman. Dani sat on the arm of the long leather couch, Travis was perched comfortably on the opposite side. I planted myself between them.
Things felt back to normal again. More or less. I at least didn’t feel like I had to tuck my tail between my legs every time I noticed their eyes on me. Travis offered me his flask and I drank, gratefully. “What a fucking day, huh?” That broke the ice and they all laughed and groaned in agreement. “You know… as much as I hate to say it… all three of you are entitled to a big I told you so…”
“Awww, well that takes all the fun out of it! You suck!” Riley threw a wadded up napkin at me, I batted it away to the floor.
“Look, you’ve seen me through some SHITTY red flag relationships, so I feel like I don’t have much high ground to stand on… we just want ya to be happy Ev…. Truly.” There was a pause. I knew that look on her face… there was a but, “But... watching Sam get the shit shanked out of him by Penn was pretty fucking amazing!” All I could do was shake my head and sip on the flask. That little man really had done so much to shake up my life. Who had rescued who?
After swigging the drink, I bit my lip. Dani, ever observant and never reserved, caught it immediately, “Uh oh! There it is… the Signature Lancaster Lip Bite! The dead giveaway!” My face flushed bright red.
“Shut up Dani!” I tried to hide my face behind my hands.
“You’re thinking about him aren’t you??? Don’t lie!! Honey, I don’t blame you… he’s cute as a button.. but goddamn when I see him on those screens, all up close and personal…” she waved her hand in front of her face. I gave her the finger. It felt just like college again, when we had nothing, drinking on the floor of our dorm room, playing for pennies in bars and Chinese restaurants. We were two young women gossiping about boys and dreaming of our future.
Now, almost 10 years later, and those dreams were becoming a reality. Sticks and Stones were becoming something big now. I was so proud of them, and delighted to watch it unfold. To think of where they had come, from just a bunch of college age idiots with a love of music, to playing packed houses, it was astonishing. Earlier in the day I had felt searing guilt for the loss of that deal with the two elderly creeps. But now, I knew the band would manage to find something just as good if not better on their own. They’d be alright. And now that I was free to chart my own path, I’d be right there with them for the ride. My heart thrummed in my chest. What a gift just to be here.
“Welcome back to the dark side, Ev.” Travis smiled, gingerly taking back his flask for a sip. His joke obviously pertaining to Sam’s negative view of the lifestyle. I thought I’d be more devastated by losing him. I had clung so desperately to that relationship for so long, at the detriment of my friends, after all. But having seen him behave the way he did, treating Penn with such disrespect, I finally saw the monster behind the man. I could never love someone who treated Penn, or any pet, that way. I felt a sharp twinge of shame that it had taken the little man’s desperate act of violence to get me to spring into action. It was my job to protect him. I had promised myself I would always look out for him after I’d rescued him that fateful night.
I was so glad the little man had stood up for himself, because I had been so slow to save him. Why was that? If I was honest with myself, it was because I was scared. Scared to hurt Sam. He’d always had such a strong hold over me. I was so grateful to feel his grip on my life slip away. I was free to be myself again for the first time in two and a half years.
And Penn… he would never ask me to change a thing. He loved me just as I was. To be loved wholly and completely like that… it was probably the best feeling in the world. My sweet little cowboy, what would I ever do without you?
*************
I stood in the drafty silence of my dressing room, looking at myself in the mirror just as I had done all that time ago in San Francisco. Hello, me. I adjusted the hat on my head and rolled my shoulders back, taking in the man who stood before me. His spine seemed a little straighter and his chest a little loftier than it ever had been before. He smiled back at me behind his messy hair hanging over his eyes, his white hat bouncing light from the vanity. His loose fitting, olive green jacket with sleeves rolled up and his dark, tight jeans framed his body in a flattering way. He may have only measured five and a quarter inches, but for the first time in his life, he didn’t feel so small. He was just… him. Me. I took my hat off, and held it in my hands.
This stupid thing. I loved it with all my heart. I’ll be your cowboy, Eveline. Holding it over my chest, I stepped forward to the mirror, and just like in San Francisco, I stretched out my palm and placed it to the glass. My signature. I, Penn, exist and I was here, against all odds.
No sooner had my hand collided with the cool surface of the mirror, than I heard the door over my right shoulder open. That must be Morgan, the super fan. I beamed. I couldn’t wait to meet her. I placed my hat back on my head as I turned around.
The dark, harrowing figure that loomed above, casting a long, black shadow over me, was anything but the girl I’d interacted with in the audience. I gasped, horrified. I knew exactly who this was.
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the way i so want to read your recent jaemin fic again today when i just read it yesterday 🧍♀️ i miss everything abt it alr .. i miss them lol maybe a lil more patience and I'll reread it when the next part is abt to come out. tysm for this blessing of a fic. also, just curious.. what's the word count for the next parts? or even just the total only if it's okay !! ><
PLSHHSSJ rereading it b4 the next part sounds ideal 😔🖐 and thank u for reading bb.
the interlude is gonna be approx 10k-12k (currently at 7k!) while the second act will be around the same length as the first one (35-40k).
just realized that sounds fucking insane but that's what i get for daydreaming too much ig 😭😭.
#💌: anon#feedback#peach tree#edit: on the bright side i have pretty much everything outlined already and the writing process is actually#p fast and easy the only problem is my lack of time <///3
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New Post has been published on SONGWRITER NEWS
New Post has been published on https://songwriternews.co.uk/2021/01/ariana-grande-3435-official-video/
Ariana Grande - 34+35 (official video)
youtube
The official “34+35” music video by Ariana Grande. Listen & download Positions (the album) here: http://arianagrande.lnk.to/positions
►Subscribe to Ariana Grande: https://arianagrande.lnk.to/subscribe
►Shop Exclusive Merch: https://arianagrande.lnk.to/shop
►Follow Ariana Grande: https://www.arianagrande.com https://instagram.com/arianagrande https://twitter.com/arianagrande https://facebook.com/arianagrande
Directed by Director X
Official “34+35” Lyrics:
You might think I’m crazy The way I been craving If I put it quite plainly Just gimme them babies
So what you doing tonight? Better say doing you right Watching movies but we aint seen a thing tonight
I don’t wanna keep you up But show me can you keep it up ‘Cause then I’ll have to keep you up Shit maybe I’mma keep you up, boy
I been drinking coffee And I been eating healthy You know I keep it squeaky Saving up my energy
Can you stay up all night Fuck me til the daylight 34 35 Can you stay up all night Fuck me til the daylight 34 35
You drink it just like water You say it taste like candy So what you doing tonight? Better say doing you right Watching movies but we aint seen a thing tonight
I don’t wanna keep you up But show me can you keep it up ‘Cause then I’ll have to keep you up Shit maybe I’mma keep you up, boy
I been drinking coffee And I been eating healthy You know I keep it squeaky Saving up my energy
Can you stay up all night Fuck me til the daylight 34 35 Can you stay up all night Fuck me til the daylight 34 35
Baby you might need a seatbelt when I ride it I’mma leave it open like a door, come inside it Even though I’m wifey you can hit it like a side chick Don’t need no side dick, no
Got the neighbors yelling earthquake 4.5 when I make the bed shake Put it down heavy even though it’s lightweight
Yeah we started at midnight Go til the sunrise Done at the same time But who’s counting the time when we got it for life
I know all your favorite spots We can take it from the top You such a dream come true true Make a bitch wanna hit snooze ooh
Can you stay up all night Fuck me til the daylight 34 35 Can you stay up all night Fuck me til the daylight 34 35
Means I wanna 69 witcha Aww shit
#ArianaGrande #positions #34+35
Music video by Ariana Grande performing 34+35. © 2020 Republic Records, a division of UMG Recordings, Inc. source
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Tagged by @wednesdayangeline, thank you!
Your last: 1. Drink: some warm raspberry juice made by my grandma 2. Phone call: my friend F (if work calls don’t count because I made tons of those) 3. Text message: “Wyższa szkoła jazdy!” to my mom
4. Song you listened to: So Emotional by Whitney Houston (yeah, I rewatched the s9 finale last night)
5. Time you cried: no idea tbh
Have you ever: 6. Dated someone twice: like the same person in two separate periods of time? no 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: not really. kissing is good. I mostly regret not kissing people 8. Been cheated on: yes 9. Lost someone special: yes 10. Been depressed: ... 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: ...yes
3 favourite colours: black, purple, pink
In the last year have you: 15. Made new friends: yes! my current flatmate, her girlfriend, some great people at work 16. Fallen out of love: kind of
17. Laughed until you cried: lots 18. Found out someone was talking about you: ??? no 19. Met someone who changed you: no. experiences change me, not people 20. Found out who your friends are: no 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: haha of course
General: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I can’t be fucked to check this 23. Do you have any pets: a dog and two turtles 24. Do you want to change your name: nope 25. What did you do for your last birthday: my friends threw me a surprise bday party at a chocolaterie, I got a pillow with a photo of my dog, I went back to a flat I hated and cried myself to sleep 26. What time did you wake up: 5:45 rip 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping like the dead 28. Name something you can’t wait for: the sweet release of death (same, Wednesday) 29. When was the last time you saw your mum: 2 weeks ago 31. What are you listening to right now: Religion by Lana del Rey 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: obvi 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: not losing weight fast enough, I don’t have much time lol 34. Most visited website: tumblr 35. Hair colour: light blonde 36. Long or short hair: rather short, collarbone length 37. Do you have a crush on someone: currently not really 38. What do you like about yourself: my eyes and collarbones, my ability to write, staying calm under pressure 39. Piercings: nope dude, I am a corporate rat 40. Blood type: A
41. Nickname: Sugar, Izzy 42. Relationship status: dead 43. Zodiac: Aquarius 44. Pronouns: she/her
45. Favourite TV show: Drag Race, Breaking Bad, The Office, Parks and Rec, old Community, Silicon Valley, Sense8, How to Get Away With Murder, Superstore
47. Right or left handed: right 48. Surgery: I had two moles from the back of my neck removed, does it count? 49. Sport: zumba, rollerskating, cycling, swimming, lots of squats 50. Vacation: going to Corfu, Greece in August and I can’t wait. Dream vacation: US roadtrip 51. Pair of trainers: ??? I own two pairs
More General: 53. Eating: I’m on a self-imposed diet before I have to show my fat ass at the beach, so I quit all sugar, white bread, all fried things, all fast food. I’ve been lactose-free for a while now. I’m hungry 24/7 now but I’m doing good 54. Drinking: I had to quit coffee (can’t drink it without sugar), tea without sugar is disgusting, can’t have any Coke unless it’s Coke Zero which is sorta disgusting, can’t have regular store-bought juice, can’t have energy drinks! Shouldn’t have alcohol either but fuck that. I drink mostly water with a slice of lemon, lime and mint, and fruit smoothies. 55. I’m about to: do 50 squats and then watch Superstore while eating a rice waffle with some hummus 56. Waiting for: next weekend since I’m going over to my friend’s town for a barbecue! 57. Want: 100% love, 0% drama 58. Get married: not against the idea; not in church though 59: Career: I used to have an idea but then life happened, so I don’t want to make plans anymore. I’m doing well in my job now
Which is Better: 60. Hugs or kisses: kisses 61. Lips or eyes: eyes 62. Shorter or taller: taller 63. Older or younger: for what? 64. Nice arms or nice stomach: stomach, wish I had it 65. Hook-up or relationship: depends on the person you do it with 66. Troublemaker or hesitant: this question is stupid
Have You Ever: 67. Kissed a stranger: what is a stranger? I’ve kissed people approx.2 hours after having met them, does that count? 68. Drank hard liquor: lol yeah
69. Lost glasses/contact lenses: no but I fucked up lots of lenses, most epically by stabbing myself in the eye with a mascara brush while attempting to do my makeup on a moving bus. also lost some sunglasses
70. Turned someone down: lol yeah 71. Sex on the first date: never happened but I’m not against the idea 72. Broken someone’s heart: I have no idea 73. Had your heart broken: see question 8 74. Been arrested: lol no 75. Cried when someone died: yes 76. Fallen for a friend: yes, don’t do it
Do you believe in: 77. Yourself: I try 78. Miracles: no 79. Love at first sight: no, infatuation - yes 80. Santa Claus: no 81. Kiss on the first date: you can’t say a date went well if it doesn’t happen 82. Angels: no
Other: 83. Current best friend’s name: Kasia
84. Eye colour: very bright green that some people say is blue or grey
85. Favourite movie: Inception, Horrible Bosses, Velvet Goldmine
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tagged by @exyhell for this question thingy, ty for giving me something to do ^o^
rules: answer these 85 statements (y’all don’t have to if you dont wanna) and it says to tag 20-ish people but i’m just gonna tag a handful lol @rockymountainurn @some-sort-of-firefly @kickfoxing @getwrektriko @dra-agonfly and anyone else that feels like it :)
THE LAST 1. drink: coffeeee 2. phone call: justin 3. text message: nick 4. song you listened to: the only one by transit 5. time you cried: couple months ago i think??
6. dated someone twice: nope 7. kissed someone and regretted it: nope 9. lost someone special: yep 10. been depressed: yeep 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: yeeep
3 favorite colors 12. red 13. purple 14. blue
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU 15. made new friends: certainly 16. fallen out of love: nope 17. laughed until you cried: LOL yes 18. found out someone was talking about you: yeah but i couldnt give less of a shit 19. met someone who changed you: i think so yeah 20. found out who your friends are: sort of and not really 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: LOL yeah
GENERAL 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: like all of them save for a few 23. do you have any pets: dog 24. do you want to change your name: no but i wish my middle name was my first name 25. what did you do for your last birthday: i worked! :D 26. what time did you wake up: 11am 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: uhh on tumblr i think 28. name something you can’t wait for: fall out boy’s new album lol 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: today 31. what are you listening to right now: the day that she left by seaway 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: does thomas count? 33. something that is getting on your nerves: nothing really rn 34. most visited website: tumblr 35. hair colour: brown 36. long or short hair: short 37. do you have a crush on someone: yeeep 38. what do you like about yourself: i can bag groceries like a motherfucker and i’m proud of it 39. piercings: no sir 40. blood type: ??? no idea 41. nickname: derel 42. relationship status: single 43. zodiac: gemini 44. pronouns: he/him 45. favourite tv show: right now prob bojack horseman 46. tattoos: green bay packers logoooo FOOTBALL, getting a saturn one sooon SPACE 47. right or left handed: left 48. surgery: yup 49. piercing: wasn’t this asked approx. exactly 10 questions ago 50. sport: i dont play any but football is my favourite 51. vacation: anywhere in europe, i can fuck wit it, although i’m going to toronto next week to visit family so i’m also excited for that 52. pair of trainers: ???
MORE GENERAL 53. eating: i love food 54. drinking: water all day every day sometimes coffee 55. i’m about to: stay up late when i should be sleeping 56. waiting for: something good to happen for once 57. want: idek there’s a lot 58. get married: i mean eventually i guess 59. career: doing whatever i enjoy making money off of
WHICH IS BETTER 60. hugs or kisses: both are better depending on circumstances 61. lips or eyes: eyes 62. shorter or taller: i dont care 63. older or younger: i don’t care 64. nice arms or nice stomach: already have the former so i’d love the latter 65. hook up or relationship: hmmmmm relationship 66. troublemaker or hesitant: i’m both
HAVE YOU EVER: 67. kissed a stranger: no 68. drank hard liquor: hahahahahaha 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: it’s very possible 70. turned someone down: kind of idk it’s complicated 71. sex on the first date: no 72. broken someone’s heart: not that i know of 73. had your heart broken: i suppose yeah 74. been arrested: nope 75. cried when someone died: yep 76. fallen for a friend: hahahahahahahaha
DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 77. yourself: if i didn’t i’d be dead 78. miracles: i think so? 79. love at first sight: no 80. santa claus: no 81. kiss on the first date: i mean go for it 82. angels: i’m in the process of figuring out if i do or not
OTHER: 83. current best friend’s name: anyone that i talk to regularly/trust (which takes a lot so good job guys) is considered a best friend so i guess erin maddie faith arman nick and randy 84. eye colour: brown 85. favorite movie: hmmmm inside out i think
#answer game#tag game#well this killed some minutes yay#exyhell#rockymountainurn#some-sort-of-firefly#kickfoxing#getwrektriko#dra-agonfly
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this will b fun🙂
rules: once you have been tagged, you’re supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end, choose 25 people to tag! LAST… [1] drink: cop ella apple juice [2] phone call: my boyfriend [3] text message: my best friend [4] song you listened to: Interlude I (the ripe and ruin)- alt-j [5] time you cried: approx 5-10 minutes ago HAVE YOU EVER… [6] dated someone twice: yes... [7] been cheated on: no [8] kissed someone and regretted it: y.e.s [9] lost someone special: yes [10] been depressed: not sure ¿ probably [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: yes.. LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: [12] duck egg blue [13] teal [14] purple IN THE LAST YEAR, HAVE YOU… [15] made new friends: yes [16] fallen out of love: yes [17] laughed until you cried: yes [18] found out someone was talking about you: yes [19] met someone who changed you: yes [20] found out who your true friends are: yes [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: yes [22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: idk, probably most of them but who really knows ?¿ [23] do you have any pets: yeah her name is Myshi [24] do you want to change your name: my second name, yes. i want to add 'sternschein' as my middle name too. [25] what did you do for your last birthday: my friend threw a lil party @ hers for me nd i went out clubbing the following day [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: speaking to my boyfriend [28] name something you cannot wait for: summer ! ! ! [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: an hour ago [30] what is one thing you wish you could change your self: too many things to say [31] what are you listening to right now: something good by alt-j [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: yes [33] something that is getting on your nerves: righteous private schools kids [34] most visited website: snapchat / is that a website ?? [35] junior school / elementary: i miss some of it// was partly bullied so mibby not [36] senior school / high school: fucking bullshit [37] university / college: art school but i don't know what to do after that, i think if i follow art as a career path i'll be suicidal by 23 years old and kms at 25. so who knows ?¿ [38] hair color: red/auburn/strawberry blonde idk any word which isn't ginger, that's a dirty word [39] long or short hair: long [40] do you have a crush on someone: mhmm [41] what do you like about yourself: my room? does that count. i like my cat and my eyes too. i love my friends and boyfriends a lot nd i guess that is kinda me ¿ [42] piercings: two ear lobe piercings nd a cartilage / helix [43] blood type: idkk [44] nicknames: stells/stellbells/fried star/angry teddy bear. [45] relationship status: taken ??? do i sound like a thirsty 12 year old saying that ... [46] zodiac sign: aquarius [47] pronouns: her/she [48] fav tv show: mmm skins & misfits [49] tattoos: none so far but my b is ordering a stick nd poke kit nd i we're giving eachother tattoos [50] right- or left-handed: left FIRST… [51] surgery: none [53] best friend: my first best friend was great until she became v manipulative nd controlling [54] sport: probz hockey idk [55] vacation: i think it was california nd i was 2 weeks old // wasn't a vacation tho so idk. [57] eating: nothing [58] drinking: nothing [59] i’m about to take: a rlly rlly rlly long bath [60] listening to: ms by alt-j [61] waiting for: fitzpleasure :) [62] want: to not be stressed [63] get married: not sure, i'm kinda against it as a concept [64] career: does anyone rlly know ? WHICH IS BETTER… [65] hugs or kisses: hugs [66] lips or eyes: eyes [67] shorter or taller: taller [68] older or younger: older [69] romantic or spontaneous: spontaneous [70] nice arms or nice stomach: arms [71] sensitive or loud: sensitive [72] hook-up or relationship: relationship [73] troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger? yes.. [75] drank hard liquor? yes [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? no [77] turned someone down? yes [78] sex on first date? never [79] broken someone’s heart? yes [80] had your own heart broken? yes [81] been arrested? no [82] cried when someone died? yes [83] fallen for a friend: yes DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself?: no [85] miracles?: sometimes [86] love at first sight?: yes [87] santa claus?: absolutely [88] kiss on the first date?: of course [89] angels?: mhm OTHER… [90] current best friend’s name: i have a few best friends so idk [91] eye color: greeny/bluey/brown [92] favorite movie: impossible: annie hall/ harold and maude/moonrise kingdom/rebel without a cause/a little princess/who tf knows there r so many m8888...! tagging: @acostlywalnut @lunar--sunshine @gushing---gold ... i know no one lol
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Ultra sick this week(end)
More like the whole week, but still attended school
So didn’t log calories but it’s safe to say I ate around maintenance
I also didn’t work out (I was literally just sat in bed drinking around 4L of tea per day and eating cos why the hell not, mum cooked really nice shiz to make me better).
I’m still ill (and going to be for at least another 2-3 days (more like a week since I’m gonna actually leave the house tomorrow) so I’m just focused on getting better aka eating regular amounts and drinking a lot of hot liquids).
I’ve made a new workout though and I am LITERALLY TERRIFIED OF IT
I remember how hard it was for me to do literally 1/10 of this AND I JUST UPPED THE REPS AND INCREASED THE AMOUNT OF SHIT TO DO SO HAHA I”LL BE DEAD
I missed Friday’s workout (maybe not, but I honestly cannot remember I was really ill so I probably did), Saturday’s and *currently* missing Sunday. Plan is to make up days missed. So I’m gonna do the old workout today and incorporate the new one at the end. My arms will be dead tomorrow, so morning workout will be cancelled, hoping to do it in the evening (again, round of old and new to make up for Saturday, and doing the same thing on Tuesday as well). Then I’m ditching the old workout, only doing it once a week on Sundays. I will most likely ditch the new workout in a few weeks since it’s literally just arms and upper body exercises. Will adjust it to incorporate legs and core (and gotta get them glutes ready ayyyyy).
This also means dietary adjustments. I will be running mostly on protein. I’m gonna attempt to gain muscle whilst restricting which is pretty difficult (I mean, you gotta have a calorific surplus to gain, but as long as you consume enough protein it should be okay) WHICH MEANS I WILL BE RUNNING ON PROTEIN POWDER AND I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT
Hopefully the one I have runs out in a week or so, and I can try a different one (theyre like 35 quid though, gotta invest big times)
I’ll compensate with boiled white meats (skinless too) so food will literally be torture since these days I fucking hate the taste of those (fun fact- I never used to fry or add spices to my food so I literally lived off boiled chicken drumsticks and I loved every second of it BUT THEY HAD SKIN SO THEY WERE MORE FATTY AND FELT MORE TENDER AND TAKING THAT AWAY LITERALLY MAKES IT SEEM LIKE HELL)
Tomorrow I’m getting an 8 quid steak. Gonna treat myself. Hopefully distribute the beauty amongst 2 days (it’s literally the prettiest piece of meat I ever laid my eyes on. I was so fascinated- I must try it).
so that’s that. I ideally need 0.83g of protein per pound of bodyweight (THATS A SHIT TON) so we’re going for ~100g per day. 100*4 = 400 calories (not counting fat) so I’ll be on approx 600 calories a day + 50 for vitamins. HOWEVER the workouts will burn quite a lot (around 100-150 a day if done correctly with barely any stops) and I MIGHT try incorporating cardio (no carbs tho so how bout that). Might involve more carbs in the diet but not gonna lie, I failed on the no carb thing in the past few days. I hate it.
Although it’s recommended to increase amount of protein to 1g per pound of body weight (so 120g-ish) I doubt I’ll bother with it (so either I’ll undereat, or eat that amount without trying because ngl- I love my meat).
I also need 35 grams of fat in my diet which is another rough 320 calories per day (totalling to around 900). This is purely to keep me satiated. I’ll probably miss out on these most of the time but I won’t beat myself up if I do consume fats (although I’ve literally 2 pills of fish oils I consume so that’s gonna be taken into account.
My BMR is currently on 1200 calories. So TDEE is around EITHER 1900 (if I go all out on these workouts daily) or 1700 (light activity which my workout sure wont be lmao).
1700-900 = 800
800*3 = 2400
2400/7700= 300g a week lost (PLUS FUCK KNOWS HOW MUCH MUSCLE GAINED BUT MUSCLE BURNS LIKE AN INSIGNIFICANT (BUT HIGHER) AMOUNT OF CALORIES SO IDK)
Honestly, I’ll just have to restrict my fats, which might result in a lot of hunger, but I guess I’ll have to turn to veggies to fill me up generally.
TBH im just procrastinating cos just like I said i am TERRIFIED BUT IT GIVES SUCH A GOOD BURN AND IF I LEARN TO DO THESE THINGS WITHOUT TRYING MUCH IT WILL BE SO EPIC OSIHOTNIGNOD I CANT
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Nobody’s Fool (Chapter #35)
Chapter #35. More fluff! Penn plays the Chicago show, Eveline surprises him with a gift.
Previous: Chapter #34
Next: Chapter #36
CW: Adult language ________________________________________
NOBODY'S FOOL
Chapter #35: Five Time’s the Charm
Word Count: 1,404 Read Time: Approx. 11 mins
[Penn's POV]
My poor body couldn’t begin to understand this day and how it had unfolded. I felt like I had experienced every possible emotion within the last four hours. I was exhausted, but also on top of the world. Sam, that fucking nightmare, was gone and Eveline had feelings for me! I wasn’t ready to dive in head first, but to know she was there, waiting for me, was one of the most incredible joys I’d ever experienced. How had I gone from cigar smoke in my lungs, a fork in my ribs and fingers threatening to choke the life out of me, to here, before her, in the soft golden light of the late afternoon, all at peace once again? I supposed that was sort of a staple of my crazy life… it was certainly never boring!
Perhaps the wildest thing of all was that I found myself on stage no more than a few hours later, as if none of that insanity had ever happened! As we were setting up, I’d turned to Travis.
“How did the rest of the exile go?” I chuckled, he smiled back proudly. I could only imagine how it must’ve felt for him to finally give Sam the boot after watching all the turmoil he’d created in Eveline’s life.
“Mission accomplished. We dropped him off at the airport. Thank god for the end of that, huh?” We both exchanged a knowing look. My brother in music, I was so grateful for him. “Now, you just gotta play so well those old crochety fuckers will regret ever fucking with you. We don’t need them, we’ve got us and the right opportunity will come along, I can feel it!” I beamed. Things were finally starting to feel good again.
I jumped up and down in place as I listened to the hum of the audience. This was a big house. 5,000 seat capacity and sold out. Despite this army of humans screaming at me, cheering and applauding, none of it frightened me anymore. I loved it. I felt invincible. Behind the mic and with my guitar in hand, I was just as big and loud as the humans onstage beside me. Lights on. Cameras rolling. The audience exploded into screams. I cocked a confident smile, one of those custom guitar picks Dani had made for me a lifetime ago caught between my teeth. I strummed on the guitar, electric bouncy waves cascading through the hall.
I tore around on the instrument, letting each strum vibrate in the air. I looked to my right and caught Eveline’s eyes. I winked at her. This was the first show where she’d stayed within view of me in a month. I felt high with joy, nothing was going to stop me now.
“I love you!!”
“You’re my fucking favorite!!”
“So cute!!”
I smiled, and spit the pick out onto the ground, “Whaddup Chicago???” ROAR!!!
People started chanting my name.
“Play Doe, Jane!” That first song I had written. It had become a fan favorite.
“I’ve seen you five times!!”
My jaw went slack, I peered into the audience, “Woah! Five times? Jesus! We’ve got a die hard fan here!” Cheers. “What’s your name?”
“Morgan!”
“Well thanks so much for being here, Morgan, hope we can still keep ya entertained for round five!!” I made a mental note to talk to Eveline about arranging a personal meet up with her. It was difficult to fathom that I had human fans. People who would drive halfway across the country just to watch me. I was beaming. I felt like myself again. “Alright, here we go!!” We launched into our set. Fast, electric, exciting.
[LINK to Song] Note: This song starts out pretty loud, FYI.
I felt light again, happy again. It was my best show yet. We ended up doing three encores. People sang to my songs… they knew every word! Tears welled in my eyes as I held my guitar aloft, bowing for the final time, basking in the applause.
As the noise faded and I turned to put my guitar away in its case (we’d since gotten a custom leather and velvet lined case for it, which I adored), I heard a voice over my shoulder. “Wonderful show… is it okay if I offer my congrats?” I turned to see Eveline standing over me. For the first time in a long time I didn’t feel hot with anger, but instead my heart skipped a beat.
“Of course it’s okay. I kicked ass!” I chuckled. She smiled. “Hey, could you do me a favor and—“
“The five time girl? Backstage meet and greet?” My muscles relaxed a bit. She made it too easy.
“You read my mind. Thank you, Eveline.”
“May I take you back to your dressing room, Mister Big Shot?” She leaned down now, her eyes shimmering in the stage light.
“Of course, but, no autographs or pictures, please… take it up with my manager… oh wait… that’s you!” She gathered me in her cupped hand and whisked me away, shaking her head at my stupid joke. As I sat there surrounded by her soft, warm palm, I wondered what was going to become of us. Would I ever be able trust her again? I wanted to, desperately. My feelings for her had not disappeared during this month. In fact, watching the woman I wanted more than life itself but couldn’t have, made my feelings grow significantly. My broken heart had manufactured dreams of her for my exhausted mind to mull over the next morning, day after day.
I wanted to talk to Travis about all of this, maybe he’d have some good advice for me. Before I could ponder this any further, we were standing in front of my dressing room door. This time, my name was printed clearly in black ink on the card beside the band logo. It sent a thrill though my spine to see that. “Penn” in black and white letters. I was something. I was an artist. A celebrity. A person who had love in his life for the first time. I smiled proudly as she opened the door and we stepped through.
This dressing room was nicer, bigger than those I’d had before. The floor was wood, with a large beautiful rug covering most of the space, a sleek leather couch with patterned pillows thrown about on it was shoved into the back wall, and was the first thing I saw upon entering the room. The arm of which butted up almost directly against the vanity counter. This counter with those seemingly universal globe lights took up the whole right wall. The mirror seemed to stretch on for miles when I stood in front of it. On the left side, the wall was decorated floor to ceiling with posters, memorabilia, records. There were two upholstered chairs between a small end table against that side. Overall, it was warm, lovely. With all its decorations on the walls, it sort of reminded me of Eveline’s home studio.
She tipped her palm and let me slide onto the the vanity counter. She knelt down to my level, “Alright, I’ll go get to work on getting that fan back here. I’ll have the PA, Stephanie right? I’ll have her escort them back here, cool?” I nodded. She rose to go.
“Eveline?” She paused, her hands still resting gently on the counter.
“Yes?” I took a few strides to lean into her forearm, hooking my right arm around the width of her wrist, brushing my cheek against her. I felt the hairs on her arm stand up as I pressed my body into her.
“Thank you. It’s good to have you back.” She smiled warmly.
“Oh! That reminds me…. And it’s okay if you don’t want it… but…” she fished something out of her pocket, pinching it between two fingers. My hat. My face flushed. I thought it’d long since been lost after LA.
“Y-you kept it?”
“Of course I did. What’s my cowboy without his Stetson?” She pinched the brim between her thumb and forefinger, holding it before my chest. I snatched it up, and placed it on my head. She bit her lip, my heart pounded in my chest. She’d kept it. With that, she padded off, leaving me to my lonesome, but not for long, of course.
#Everything is right with the world again#Yay#Go Morgan#giant/tiny#g/t#g/t related#g/t writing#g/t community#g/t au#g/t fluff#size difference
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