#'friends would never do this for each other' 'there is no platonic explanation for this' etc jokes

[altschmerzes]

like i know i'm a mean, pedantic asshole who cares too much about things that don't matter and am embarrassing myself on the regular by making a giant fuss over it but i really don't see any other way to have an inch of breathing room in fandom or creative spaces or just The World In General as an aromantic person.

[strawbeerossi]

Only Friends

Pairing: Gender Neutral!Reader x Spencer Reid

Description: You and Spencer are best friends who act like anything but.

Content/Warnings: Oblivious mutual pining, kissing, lap sitting, teasing friends, cute little love confession at the end.

Word Count: 1.3K

Anon Request: hiii oki req (if u want pls take ur time) i think this is prob OOC butttttt spence + reader being in love and they don’t even realize it but they still kiss/ cuddle when they hang out and stuff and just say “we’re really close is all” “best friends kiss!” and stuff..

Navigation || Criminal Minds Masterlist || Request

🏷️ @kr-1-sta @iluvreid @nervousmoongiver @multifandom-on-the-side @ferrjulie

Affection in friendships aren’t always the same. Some friends hugged, some friends rarely talked yet maintained a healthy friendship, some friends even showed the smallest bit of intimacy due to their comfortability.

You and Spencer were just a tad different. You two would cuddle, share brief pecks on the lips, as well as sometimes shower together whenever you were in a rush on a case and got a brief break.

It wasn’t anything inherently romantic or sexual, just something that came easy. The team was highly convinced you both had a secret relationship. Which was fair enough, however no matter how many explanations, they never seemed to be enough.

Tonight the team was having a small watch party for a new show at Penelope’s apartment. She’d been so desperate for the team to have something like a show they watched together, or special games to play together. Nobody could really say no.

You had arrived with a handful of snacks just an hour prior, helping one of your favorite coworkers set up her apartment for the night ahead. As expected, it turned from you helping to the bubbly blonde interrogating you over the aspect of a potential relationship.

“We aren’t dating, Pen.” Your head shook as you were filling a bowl with pretzels, taking it to the table in order to place it in the available space surrounded by other snacks. “I saw you guys kiss before you left the office yesterday! What kind of friends kiss each other on the lips?? If this is normal, we need to make Derek aware because I am missing out.” Penelope huffed out of frustration. “Mark my words, I will get to the bottom of this. When I find out that you are secretly dating, I will bring all of the hurt!” The blonde held up her fist while narrowing her eyes in your direction.

By the grace of all things holy, it wasn’t long until the team had slowly begun to show up. There were no more interrogations, not yet anyway. As everyone was piling up on the couch, there was very limited room for you as you walked out of the kitchen. “Fuck.” You groaned, arms crossed. “I am not sitting on the floor!”

“You can sit with me.” Spencer spoke up from his spot at the far end of the couch, his shoulders shrugging as his hand patted his thighs to offer you the spot in his lap. “Come on! This is a family friendly show! None of that.” Emily groaned, which had you rolling your eyes as you were heading over to sit yourself on your best friend’s lap.

“It’s not a big deal.” You protested her dramatics while your body was leaning into Spencer’s chest, your body snuggling closer to his as the show began at its scheduled time. However instead of enjoying the programme, you were too busy ignoring all the curious stares from your friends. “Come on!” You huffed while pushing yourself to sit up. “What is the big deal? You’re all staring like we are animals in a zoo.” In all honesty, you were annoyed with the way people stared. You were friends, doing platonic things.

“Look. Kid, I hate to say it but you two are definitely a little too close for what friends should be. What kind of friends do you know that kiss each other? And yes, I know, they are pecks. I’m just saying.” Derek put his hands up as he broke the silence.

“It’s not a crime to have a crush on one another or to date one another.” JJ added soon after while letting her shoulders shrug. “We aren’t dating though.” Spencer confirmed everything you’ve been preaching while looking at the group in confusion. “Spencer, you haven’t eaten any snacks tonight because all of our hands have been in the bowl. It makes no sense to me that you’d kiss her considering the mouth has like a bajillion germs.” Penelope added.

“Well, the mouth has over a billion different germs and we don’t know the exact amount.” He corrected as he looked up at you for help. “I assumed we were normal?” He spoke up while you nodded in agreement. “I thought we were, too.” You huffed while leaning against his chest.

“It’s not even the hugging, kissing, and lap sitting. You guys just look so head over heels from an outside perspective. I mean, you hang out together all the time, you always room together, plus you guys go out on dates. You may not look at it that way but come on. You are both profilers. How do you not pick up on how you feel about one another?” Emily asked while frowning softly.

The more they were talking and giving actual points, the more you were thinking over the course of your friendship with Spencer. You’d always been close, even after your first initial meeting when you joined the team. You could remember how shocked the team was because the typically quiet and socially awkward genius was the first one to welcome you. You’d managed to become close friends over the course of two weeks. The first time Spencer even hugged you was after a case where he’d been put in harm's way. He came to you for comfort. You.

The first time you started your pecks on the lips, it was due to a complete accident when you tried to kiss his cheek but his head turned to face you. It just seemed.. Right. No matter how flustered you both were or how you felt butterflies in your belly, you just dismissed it. You being lost in thought was concerning enough for Spencer. “Hey. Do you wanna step outside?” His voice pulled you out of your thoughts, your head nodding. “Yeah, please head out with me.”

He helped you to your feet before his hand was gently holding yours, leading you out of the room.

“How much do you wanna bet that they are gonna actually kiss out there?” Aaron spoke up after being silent a majority of the night, the team turning to the unit chief who normally wouldn’t have inserted himself. “I’ll take those odds,” Derek smirked while getting his wallet.

Out in the hallway, you had your arms crossed as you looked away from Spencer. “I know that we are best friends and I promise you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong. I just really want you to tell me one thing,” You spoke while turning your head back to face him. “Did you ever, at any point, have feelings for me? Be honest.”

The words had Spencer’s face bright red, his hand nervously rubbing the back of his neck. “I mean, I’ve always thought you were amazing.” He spoke while offering a shy smile. “I just didn’t want things to get weird. I like our friendship and the relationship that we have isn’t something that could be ruined. Dating friends can get messy and.. I don’t wanna live a life without you in it. I can’t even fathom a reality where you aren’t here.” He responded.

“So you did?”

“Y-yeah. I just didn’t want-”

Your hands were gripping his upper arms while you were gently shaking him. “Why didn’t you say anything?!” You asked while staring at him with wide eyes. “I’ve always been fond of you!” You added, his surprised look making you laugh softly. “God. How are we profilers?”

“You know, I’m not so sure. I think we are rusty.” Spencer responded, a little chuckle leaving his lips. “So.. Is there a chance? You know.. Us?” He asked softly while you nodded. “I do think there’s a good chance.” You responded while Spencer sighed in relief. “So it won’t be weird if I do this.”

“Do what?”

His hands were gently cupping your cheeks, taking every opportunity to press his lips against yours, much different than you were both used to but it carried the same feeling as all the little pecks have all this time. It was right. Like you were meant to be together.

“I’m pretty sure they are running bets. Do we tell them we kissed or pretend like nothing happened?”

“I want Derek to lose his money in that scenario, so let’s not tell them yet.” Spencer chuckled.

[avis-writeshq]

04 — you are in love

summary: “you can hear it in the silence.”/”you can hear it on the way home.”/”you can see it with the lights out.” in other words; the four times spencer wants to kiss you, and the one time he wishes he did. pairing: spencer reid x bau!fem!reader genre: best friends to lovers, mutual pining, fluff, slow burn,  warnings: drug mention, alcohol (reader gets a little tipsy), vomit (not in detail) wc: 3.4k a/n: thank you again to the wonderful amazing @astrophileous for beta-reading MWAH zara you're a real one <3 SPARKS FLY MASTERLIST // MAIN MASTERLIST

Falling in love is something that Spencer thought he would never get the luxury of doing. It’s a fairytale. After all, his parents were supposed to be a perfect example of what love should be like and look how they ended up. Yet despite it all, he always seems to find himself going back to you. You, who makes it so easy to love but he doesn’t deserve it. He refuses to believe he deserves it. He feels so horribly broken that it doesn’t make sense why you would love him, or why he deserves to love you. 

It takes Spencer another three months to actually properly come to terms with the fact that he’s in love with you. He’s spent most of his free time attending Narcotic Anonymous groups upon your insistence and he hates to admit that it helps. He didn’t think they would at first, despite the swirling statistics of their effectiveness but he figures that it wouldn’t hurt. The other times when he’s not doing something drug related, therapy related or work related, he’s with you. Your apartment is almost like a second home to him and you’d given him your spare key (he went home with a ridiculous grin on his face and had to chug several cups of water to calm himself down). 

Since your leaving the BAU, he’s left a series of trinkets on his desk that remind him of you. A little ceramic blue bird beside the animal skull models. It’s no bigger than his pinky finger and when he asked you why you gifted it to him, you told him that it represents hope and renewal. He thinks he needs a lot of that.

In the first drawer of his desk is a framed picture of you and him at a Doctor Who convention with him dressed up as the Tenth Doctor and you in all blue in an attempt to dress up as TARDIS. It was a fun and silly day but it was enjoyable and that was what mattered. After a series of unfortunate events, Derek happened across the photo, claiming that there was no platonic explanation for it. 

(“Care to explain this?” He had asked, holding the frame with a grin on his face. He was looking into Spencer’s desk for a specific file on the Benson murders, only to be met with a very familiar face.

Spencer immediately lunged for the photograph, grabbing it and securing it back in his desk with a heavy slam. “Don’t.”

Derek put his hands up in mock surrender, although his eyes were sympathetic. “There’s nothing platonic about that, kid.”

He huffed in response, rubbing at his eyes and taking a seat at his desk. “I know.”)

The first time he came to terms with the fact that he actually wanted to be with you was after a specific realisation. Some cases are harder than others. It’s a given; some cases are just more difficult to deal with and therefore harder to compartmentalise. Each person is different, especially when you factor in trauma. Derek struggles when pedophilia is involved, and JJ finds suicide cases the worst. Hotch can barely function properly when children are targeted, and Emily hides behind a mask so effortlessly that the most mundane things can get to her. After a period of thought, Spencer realises what he struggles to deal with: bullying.  

“You should have– you should have heard what they were saying!” Spencer insists, pacing his living room floor while throwing his hands up in the air in frustration. 

He had just returned home from a case in West Bune, Texas, and it was probably one of the most difficult cases he had to go through. The UnSub was a teenager named Owen and after a very tense confrontation with him outside the police department, he was taken into custody. The entire nature of the case irked him. So many deaths could have been prevented if people just did something but now a boy is in custody with a body count nearing the double digits. 

“They didn’t even try to deal with the bullying,” he continues, running his fingers through his now long hair. He can’t bring himself to get it cut; especially not after the incident with Hankel some moons ago. 

You don’t say anything, sitting on his couch and sipping your tea, your eyes trained on the way he paces back and forth. 

“People are dead because of them. I’m not saying that they didn’t deserve it because they did, but something should have changed.” His words are harsh as he continues to walk, clenching and unclenching his hands. 

“You can’t change anything about it now,” You say gently, your gaze shifting from his hands to his arms to his face. “What’s done is done. All we can do is hope that the school board learns from their mistakes.”

“But they don’t!” He exclaims, turning to face you. He swallows thickly before sighing, slumping into the seat beside you and pressing himself into his side. “It’s just so… frustrating. They never learn.”

You nod, running your fingers through the knots in his hair. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“That could have been me,” he says quietly, burying his face into the palms of his hands. He presses the pads of his fingers into the corners of his eyes, stars dotting his vision.

“But it’s not,” you say firmly. “You’re a good person, Spencer. You’re saving people and putting the bad guys away. That’s a far cry away from being an UnSub.”

You’re looking at him now and he tilts his head to meet your gaze. You’re so close to him and Spencer can hear his heart pounding in his ears. 

Kiss her.

The words that enter Spencer’s mind are enough to give him whiplash and he pulls away, pretending that he doesn’t see the hurt in your eyes when he does. 

What?

“Are you okay?” You ask, frowning up at him. 

“Yeah,” he murmurs, trying to shake the thoughts from his mind. He offers a smile. “I’m okay.”

*** 

“Emily doesn’t blame you, you know.”

The words hang in the air as you sit on the floor of your bedroom, the thundering storm pounding against your windows. Spencer shrugs, sitting next to you. The power is out across Washington and the flickering of candles helps to light up the room. Spencer fiddles with the rug on the floor and your brows knit together. 

“Walter.”

“I know.” He buries his face in his hands and lets out a groan. “I know, I know. It’s not my fault. It just feels like it, you know? We knew that it was a cult but we didn’t know that it was… that bad. God, angel, you should have seen her. She was beat up and everything and it feels like I could have done something.”

“You’re too hard on yourself,” you chastise, brushing your shoulder against his for a moment. “You really need to take better care of yourself.”

He doesn’t respond, simply moving so that he’s lying down on the rug in your room. It’s a soft tufted rug that goes from a dark purple in the middle to white around the edges. It’s one of his favourite rugs in the world. You’re sitting cross legged beside him, leaning against the bed. The soft glow of the candles illuminate your face and you truly look like an angel in this light. 

He just came back from a case in La Plata County in Colorado and he was ordered to take a week off by Hotch to deal with the traumatics of the case. What started out as an undercover investigation in an underground cult led to a gun fight and a bombing, all while Spencer and Emily were inside the compound. The way Emily looked so in pain after the whole ordeal would haunt him forever; the black eye she suffered from, the bruising to her chest… he doesn’t even want to think about the rest of the things that could have happened. 

“Stop.”

Your voice pulls him from his thoughts and he sucks in a breath.

“I didn’t do anything,” he says meekly, playing with the rug underneath him.

“It’s not your fault.” You smile at him before hitting him lightly with one of your pillows. “Stop that.”

He laughs loudly, grunting a little from the impact of the pillow colliding with his face. “Hey!”

You grin teasingly and hit him again with the pillow. He retaliates quickly, gripping the pillow and trying to tug it out of your hands. Your grip is a lot stronger than he thought it was and his tug sends you flying towards him, a shriek leaving your lips as your forehead bounces off his. 

A hiss of pain leaves your lips but you’re laughing as you clutch your forehead. “Spencer what the hell?!”

“I’m sorry!” He says, not really meaning it, and rubbing at his head. He’s laughing along, his cheeks warm as he smiles up at you. His hands move to your face, one to your cheek and the other to brush the hair on your forehead to the side. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” You laugh again, smiling a brilliantly beautiful toothy smile. The candlelight dances in your eyes with a warm orange light as you do. “Are you?”

His gaze meets yours, watching the way you brush a strand of hair behind your ear and the way your eyes crinkles when you smile. He watches the way you lean against the side of the bed, tilting your head back with your eyes closed. God. He swears you’re trying to kill him.

“Spencer?” You ask with a soft chuckle, and the sound is so pretty that he doesn’t mind the fact that you find amusement at his expense. “Are you okay?”

He nods, his throat dry and his cheeks hot. He blames the candles. 

*** 

The couch is never comfortable. You are well aware that the couch feels strangely lumpy and you’re pretty sure one of the springs is broken but for some reason you keep insisting to take it whenever you stay at Spencer’s apartment. The blanket he lets you use is thick and cosy to make up for it and the pillow is always fluffed. 

“Good morning.”

Spencer’s voice is raspy with early morning vocal fry and it makes your heart lurch in your throat. 

“Morning,” you murmur, eyes still closed in an attempt to calm yourself down. Maybe if you don’t see him you won’t embarrass yourself.

“Still tired?” He asks, and you hear him start the coffee machine. There’s the sound of rustling in the background along with the flicking of a switch. Too many sounds for too early of a day.

“Mm.”

He chuckles, deep and rumbling, before sipping some water. “Yesterday was fun.”

Yesterday involved fourteen hours of watching Doctor Who and passing half way through the nineteenth episode after stuffing yourself full of junk food. Yesterday involved passing out on Spencer, forcing him to move you to the couch and into a position that wasn’t going to destroy your neck. Yesterday involved the most platonic and innocent activities known to Earth, despite the way his words insinuated something entirely differently. 

“You fell asleep before the best part,” he says, pouring himself a cup of coffee. 

“You could have watched without me.”

He shakes his head as he stirs the sugar. “That wouldn’t have been right.”

A hum leaves your lips as you get up from the couch, stretching your arms and making your way over to him from behind the kitchen island. You’re wearing one of his old Doctor Who t-shirts that he let you keep, the sleeves reaching just past your elbows. Your hair is a mess and your eyes are half closed but you look so…

Cute. Seeing you in his shirt drives him wild. There’s something possessive about it and for a second he feels gross. He feels like he’s taking advantage of you but he’s obviously not; you’re the one who stole that shirt from him many moons ago and you’re the one who chose to wear it that day. Regardless, he can’t help but be transfixed as you walk around his kitchen like it’s your own home. Spencer’s eyes follow your figure as you pull open one of his cupboards and grab your mug (a really stupid avocado mug that’s bright green with a lid) before pouring some coffee into it. 

“You’ve been going to your NA meetings, right?” You ask him, sipping your drink.

He nods immediately, his gaze never leaving you. “Yeah. Once a week.”

“That’s good!” You tell him, the caffeine slowly beginning to wake you up. “That’s really good, Walter.”

He smiles at you, dropping his forehead to your shoulder. “Thank you.”

For a few moments, all he can think about is you. Your hair smells like your special vanilla shampoo that Penelope got you hooked on and your skin smells like lavender and orange blossom. He remembers JJ giving you a sample in the office and you went and ordered a whole bottle during your lunch break right after. The compliments you got that day were like no other, and he remembers the way your eyes would light up every single time someone commented on the perfume, as well as the way you would excitedly talk about the different notes. Now, whenever he smells lavender or oranges he thinks of you. He doesn’t think it’s a problem in the slightest.

You sip your coffee again, the sound of the toaster dinging in the background, accompanied by the thick smell of char. In an instant, Spencer jolts from his place and places two very burnt slices of toast onto the plate, his nose scrunching up in frustration. 

“I was gonna make you breakfast,” he tells you lamely. “I think we should get croissants.”

You laugh, dumping the pieces of toast into the bin and nod. “I think that’s the best idea you’ve had all day.”

*** 

The rare occasion when Spencer drives is when you’re not fit to. He picks you up at two in the morning at a bar and you’re sitting in his passenger seat. Your hair has a few tangles here and there and you’re wearing the prettiest purple dress. 

“You really didn’t have to pick me up,” you tell him tiredly, rubbing at your eyes. “I could have gotten a taxi.”

Spencer rolls his eyes, leaning over the console to buckle in your seatbelt. “You called me, I’m here. I’m not going to let you get into a stranger’s car when you’re drunk.”

 “I’m not drunk!” You protest, your head leaning against the car door. “I had one drink.”

“Which can lead to a blood alcohol level of 0.01 to 0.03,” Spencer says, shooting you a smile. “I’d rather not risk it, angel.”

You groan and lean back on the chair. “I swear I’m fine.”

“Why didn’t your friends take you home?” He asks, starting the ignition. “Didn’t you say you were going to hitch a ride with them?”

A hum leaves your lips and you nod. “That was the plan. But one of the designated drivers couldn’t come last minute and the car wasn’t big enough.”

Spencer frowns, backing out of the driveway. “How long were you waiting outside of the bar?”

“Um…” your brows furrow as you think of the answer and you fiddle with the hem of your skirt. “Ten minutes?”

“(Y/N).”

“I’m sorry! I didn’t think it would have been that long,” you huff, rubbing at your eyes. “I promise I was careful.”

Spencer shoots you a frustrated look, sipping at his lukewarm takeaway cup of filtered coffee but keeping his eyes on the road. “You should have called me sooner.”

“I felt bad,” you respond sheepishly, offering him a guilty smile.

Spencer hums, running a hand through his hair. He hasn’t had the time to get it cut so for the time being it’s left slicked back and out of his eyes. He’s wearing his glasses now, too, because he didn’t have the time to put in his contacts. He looks a lot better than he did eight months ago, and he feels it, too. The white t-shirt he’s wearing is filled a little better now that he’s gained a little weight. Happy weight you had told him, pinching at his sides, it means you’re healing.

“Can you pull over?”

Your voice comes out small and Spencer snaps his head to look in your direction. “Yeah. Yeah, of course– hold on.”

He parks at a random McDonald’s on the side of the freeway and you immediately get out of the car and hurl in one of the bushes. He grimaces, getting out of the car to rub your back comfortingly.

“You okay?” He asks, continuing to rub circles on your back. He holds your hair away from your face, watches as your necklace dangles from your neck and catches the light from the 24/7 fast food place.

“... I might have had a little more than one drink.”

He can’t bring himself to get upset at you. Instead, Spencer just sighs and brandishes a bottle of water from the side pocket of his car. “Sip it slowly.”

You do as asked, taking small tentative sips of the cold water. He holds your hair in place, brushing a few strands away from your eyes and forehead. 

“This is exactly why I didn’t want you taking a taxi,” Spencer says with a hum, satisfied when you finish drinking half the bottle. “What if you threw up in their car?”

You groan, wiping a hand over your face. “I didn’t mean to.”

“I know, angel,” he says sympathetically, lifting your chin with his index finger so that you’re looking at him. “I just worry. You should be able to rely on me, too, you know.”

“Okay,” you say through drunken stupor. “Didn’t mean to worry you, Walter.”

“I know,” he repeats softly, running his fingers through your hair. “Hey. Look up.”

You do, and you stare up at the sky. Stars dot and litter the navy sky, and if you squint you could see a faint blue star.

“That’s Venus,” he explains, gesturing to the little dot. He points to a smaller, redder light just below it. “That’s Mars.”

Even amidst the light pollution, the planets shine brightly. Your gaze is fixed upon the little planets and stars, enjoying the midsummer night’s breeze, the nausea you felt moments prior beginning to subside.

“Do you know what Venus represents?” Spencer asks softly, brushing his shoulder against yours, smiling when you shake your head. “Venus represents love and beauty in Roman mythology.”

You laugh, pressing your nose into his shoulder. “Do you believe that?”

“Scientifically? No,” he admits, “Venus is a planet. It doesn’t really represent anything but a giant ball of gas. But people place significance on insignificant things because it gives them meaning so I understand why they do it.”

It’s quiet for a little while, aside from the occasional sound of a car passing by and a cicada chirping. A cool breeze blows past but it’s more comforting than anything as the two of you sit on the hood of his car: an old 1965 Volvo Amazon in the colour blue horizon with paint chipping off at the inner fenders and bumper ends. He lets you sit on his jacket, your dress and legs protected from the dirty car bonnet. Your head is on his shoulder, your arms wrapped around his and you’ve traded your heels for a pair of Spencer’s spare mis-matched socks.

“(Y/N),” he whispers, rubbing his hand on your arm. “We should get you home.”

You nod, wiggling your toes in the socks. “Yeah.”

Spencer pauses and looks at you, watching as you yawn and hop off the car. He says your name again, chuckling a little bit when you look up at him a little dazed. The words get caught in his chest as he takes a tentative step closer to you. You’re so close. Just one small move. That’s all it would take… he dismisses the thoughts when he can smell the liquor on your skin. 

“You’re my best friend,” he says quietly after several moments of silence. 

You smile at him. “You’re my best friend, too.”

He drives you home that day with more regret than necessary. He wishes he kissed you. It would have made his life so much easier.

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full work

reblogs are always appreciated!

[theirisianprincess]

Something that really annoys me is that whenever there's an ambiguous depiction of queerness in fiction is that whenever an alternative explanation is given, certain people will assume the alternative to be true despite queerness being just as likely. These explanations aren't even necessarily wrong, it's just that people will run with those if it means not acknowledging that characters might be gay.

Like, for example, they never outright say that Marcille loves Falin, but a lot of people (myself included) believe this to be the case. But the fact that an alternative explanation for their closeness is provided is often used as a reason why it couldn't possibly be romantic. The alternative explanation in this case is that learning that her best friend got eaten forces her to confront her fear of outliving her friends. And that motivates her to try to save her. The problem with this is that it doesn't actually disprove the idea that Marcille loves Falin. Marcille loving Falin is just more motivation for Marcille. And sure, Marcille could be just as motivated if she thought of Falin as her platonic bestie, but why do people use the possibility of that as a reason to discount romance as a possible motivation for her?

Anime fans did the exact same thing with Madoka Magica. They cite Homura's solitude as the reason for her obsession with saving Madoka. But once again, that doesn't contradict romantic attraction. And when it gets confirmed that Homura loves Madoka (and that Sayaka and Kyoko love each other) in Rebellion, people just claimed "fan pandering" and "translation error".

And when an alternative explanation isn't provided, some anime fans will provide one for them. Like, in Watamote, Asuka constantly tries to get closer and closer with Tomoko. Some people suspect that this means she has romantic interest in Tomoko, but others choose to interpret her interest as curiosity and intrigue. Except curiosity doesn't explain the lap pillows or the nude FaceTime or offering her boobs to her or wanting to go to the same college or saying she spends most of her time thinking about Tomoko.

Would this problem be fixed if characters just said they were queer? No.

Dungeon Meshi is complete, so they won't confirm or deny Marcille's feelings. And Homura, Sayaka, and Kyoko had all been confirmed queer, but people still denied it. And Asuka has good reasons not to admit her feelings for Tomoko. Most notably, the world of Watamote is incredibly heteronormative, so people generally won't admit to being queer. And despite Tomoko being in a glass closet, she still doesn't even admit her bisexuality to herself, so it makes sense for Asuka to hold off on telling her anything. I would like Asuka to admit her feelings by the end, but as we are right now, it's better that she doesn't.

Insisting that we must always immediately confirm queerness and that it can never be ambiguous because some people will run with any chance to deny it will greatly limit the kinds of stories that can be told.

[justauthoring]

naturally [4a]

you fit into their little family perfectly - naturally. -> in which yuji wants his mom (a two part snippet)

a/n: this prompt (along with the next part) was sent in by a wonderful anon! so thank you :)) <3

pairing: nanami kento x f!reader, itadory yuji x f!reader (platonic)

Yuji had been kicking up a fuss all night.

What had started as a peaceful night amongst the three of you, with the intention of you watching a movie Yuji’s been asking about for a while, quickly turned into a situation you weren’t sure it was appropriate for you to insert yourself in.

It had all escalated quite quickly and now, alone while Nanami spoke with Yuji in his room, you were still shaking. You felt silly letting such a little thing get to you so much, but you couldn’t help the way you felt, let alone your emotions. 

When you had started dating Nanami, you weren’t sure where the relationship would lead. You knew you liked him a lot and every time you spent time with him, those feelings would grow. He was chivalrous and kind and doting and everything you’ve ever wanted from a man. He was the perfect boyfriend.

Yet, when you’d told your girlfriends about him, their first questions had been; “isn’t it weird for you that he has a son?” 

“You’re still so young. You don’t want to get tied down to a man with a child, do you?”

“Is the mother still in the picture? Those situations never work out.”

To put it plainly, they’d been rude and crude. You’d learned a lot about some of the people you’d thought were your friends that day and had made it clear that you had no problem with Nanami having a son or ever having to take care of his son for that matter. You loved Yuji just as much as you loved Nanami, just in different ways. They both meant the entire world to you and they’d become the family you thought you’d never have.

It has never bothered you.

Just like, on the opposite side of things, you’ve never once thought of yourself as Yuji’s mother. Nanami never spoke about her, had never explained anything about her other than the simple explanation that she wasn’t and would never be part of his or Yuji’s life. You hadn’t asked for any further clarification strictly because Nanami had looked deeply upset and uncomfortable when even just explaining the bare minimum and you hadn’t wanted to upset him further.

Your relationship with Nanami progressed and eventually you moved in–before you knew it, you were a part of each other’s lives completely. You’d moved your things over. His bedroom had turned into our bedroom… The kitchen had touches of your personality, the couch had a pillow or two you’d bought to decorate, his closet had your clothes in it now too. There were touches of you and your presence everywhere in the house.

You’d been worried at first–not wanting to impose but Nanami had assured you you weren’t.

Now though? Now you were sure you had.

That... that you were.

You’d tried to ask Yuji if he could try to sit still on the couch since he’d been fidgeting uncomfortably since you’d picked him up from daycare. He’d seemed upset when you first saw him but he hadn’t wanted to tell you, constantly brushing off your concern and you didn’t want to force yourself on the boy so you’d let it slide, figuring he’d at the very least tell his father 

Except he hadn’t and hadn’t even really greeted Nanami when he got home. It was clear something was wrong but you weren’t sure what to do or if either of them even wanted you to do something so you’d left it alone and let Nanami take the lead.

It seemed asking Yuji to sit still, however, had been the last straw.

He’d instantly thrown a fuss, screaming out in frustration as he kicked out at you in response. You’d pulled back in disbelief, especially given that even when Yuji had thrown tantrums or been upset in the past (as it was normal for every child) he’s never quite reacted towards you like that before. 

Nanami is up in a second, rushing over to Yuji to pull him away all whilst firmly telling Yuji he can’t react like that just cause he’s frustrated by something. It wasn’t that that upset you necessarily–besides the initial shock of it, you could tell Yuji was just overstimulated and frustrated and he was still such a small boy that you understood he just doesn’t know how to express his feelings properly.

It’s his words next that hurt you.

“She’s not my mom!” He’d bellowed, voice screeching in distress, “I want my mom! I don’t want you, I want mama!”

Nanami had glanced at you but you’d just stared back at Yuji in disbelief, eyes wide and lips left parted as Nanami quickly pulled him away and down the hall into his bedroom. You could faintly hear Nanami reprimanding Yuji but couldn’t make out what either of them were saying.

And you’d been sitting on the couch in silence since. It’s been twenty minutes since Nanami pulled Yuji into his bedroom, and they’d gone quite five minutes ago as opposed to the muffled conversation you’d heard earlier from the both of them.

You feel like you want to cry, but the tears won’t fall and if you’re being honest you’re not even sure why. Has Yuji felt this way the entire time? Had you been pushing yourself into his life too much? You thought you were doing things at an appropriate pace, or at least, that had been your intention. Clearly, regardless of that, you’d failed–this entire time Yuji’s thought that you and Nanami were trying to replace his mother with you…

The thought makes you feel sick.

“I managed to put him to sleep.”

You freeze, wide eyes falling on Nanami’s who’s moved to stand in front of you. You hadn’t even heard him come in…

Swallowing thickly, you nod; “that’s good.” You offer quietly, shifting slightly as Nanami moves to take a seat next to you. His eyes are on you, you can feel them even though you refuse to move your gaze away from your lap. You’re sure he wants to talk about what happened but you’re not sure what to say–there’s panic welling deep inside your chest that is making it hard to breathe.

It isn’t until Nanami sets his hand over your own, threading his fingers through yours, that you finally turn to look at him.

“Apparently some kids at school made fun of him for not having a ‘real’ mom,” he explains with a frown. Your lips part at his words, registering the deep hurt in Nanami’s eyes–the guilt thickens. Here you were worrying about yourself not even considering how this all must have been for Nanami, especially now that you both know he’d been teased at school and that’s why he’d been upset and fidgety all night…

“I’ve explained to him before why his mother’s not around,” Nanami continues, squeezing your hand. “I think he was just upset. It caused him to burst out. I’ve told him he has to apologize to you once he’s calmed down–”

You shake your head, shifting to face Nanami properly; “no.” You cut him off, “he has nothing to apologize for. Kento… I never intended for him to think I was replacing his mom and I… if you’ve felt the same, I am so sorry. I thought I was moving slow enough but clearly I was pushing things too much and–”

You’re cut off as Nanami gently sets his free hand over your lips, leaning close enough to rest his forehead against your own. You freeze at the action, shoulders tensing as you stare back at him, lips left parted behind his hand.

“You’re not moving too fast.” Nanami says, his voice soft as he smiles gently at you. “We’re not moving too fast. I told you that Yuji’s mother would never be a part of his life but I never told you why.”

He slowly pulls his hand away, but keeps his forehead pressed against yours, eyes falling shut. “The truth is his mother ran away shortly after giving birth to Yuji. We weren’t together before she got pregnant, it was just the one night but we tried to make things work since she was pregnant. Maybe I was too pushy,” he sighs, shoulders falling, “I’m not sure. I wanted things to work out so badly but one day she just… left. When I tried to call her, she blocked my number and I’ve never seen or heard from her since. She’s quite literally disappeared.”

Oh…

Oh.

“She’s not tried to reach out or ask about Yuji once. I’ve explained this to him in the best way he can because I wanted him to know, no matter how young, why his life was different from other kids. We settled, got comfortable and I learned how to care for Yuji on my own because in my opinion, his mother is all but dead.”

Lips parting, you squeeze Nanami’s hand as his face twists into an expression of pain.

“I was happy with things and assumed they’d always stay this way. But then we met you.” You watch as his expression softens and the discomfort fades away as that same, soft smile curls onto his lips. “You changed everything. I’ve always worried that Yuji should have a female presence in his life, a mother figure… a child needs one. I don’t want to force you into anything you’re not comfortable with but you’re so good with him. You know what to say and how to make him laugh, laugh in ways I’ve never been able to. You never complain about him, even when he interrupts date nights or when we never have time alone.

“I tried dating women before, once in a blue moon and they all couldn’t stand having Yuji around constantly. He’s my priority, always, but you changed everything. You’ve changed both of our lives in ways I never would have imagined and I know, despite what he said tonight, Yuji loves you, Y/N. He absolutely adores you. I think he’s just confused because he doesn't really understand what you are supposed to be to him.”

You… you never thought of it that way.

You’ve been so careful, never crossing any boundaries because you weren’t sure either of them wanted you to. You didn’t want to confuse Yuji and you didn’t want to make Nanami uncomfortable so you’d always just stayed behind the line between family and less than that.

“I… I love both of you,” you whisper, eyes downcast as you try to sort out the words you want to say. “So much. I love you so much, Kento. You’ve given me what I never thought I could have and… I love Yuji like my own son. I… if it’s okay, want to be a mother to him.”

Squeezing your hand, Nanami leans back, his smile widening as he brushes his fingers across your cheek. “It’s more than okay, Y/N. You’re a part of our family.”

And it means more than Nanami probably knows.

To be a part of a family…

[lukolabrainrot]

Part 2. Explanation

In one of the interviews (don’t remember exactly, Vogue one perhaps) they are asked who is most likely to fall in love at first sight and they both point at L, and something similar is stated multiple times throughout the WT in various ways. Now N on the other hand always supports the friends to lovers being the best romantic trope and I think it’s not only because it is her character’s story arc. The way she is talking about a deep connection developing in the course of the friendship being the best way to go about it, implies that she is not someone who jumps into relationships easily. The way they are talking about their first meeting makes me think that it was indeed a love at first sight for L, and attraction at first sight for N. How he talks about this immediate feeling of warmth, the way he describes her dancing that first time, I think he was slowly on his way down. While her first reaction to him was “how tall he is?”(indirect quote), her facial expression makes me think it was not just his hight that captured her attention. Do you see the difference? For him it was a feeling, for her an appearance. And he is not a touchy fella, even with his BRT family cast as close and friendly as they are, usually it is not him who initiates contact, but not with N (who on the contrary is very touchy) even from the earlier moments of filming. “I don’t really do selfies but if you want one we’ll do that,” “l’m not really a hugger. Oh, you want a hug N, as many as you wish.”

Now as I said LOGICALLY, REALISTICALLY we cannot even truly speculate about events or conventions taken/ not taken, had/not had. For all we know they might have never even admitted to anything, to themselves or each other (doubtful but still). And their relationship are entirely platonic (that would make me question so many things about life but who knows). But from the audience point of view I would say biggest shift definitely happened during s3 filming. I want to make it clear that by no means do I wish to imply any kind of infidelity, quite the opposite I am one of those who believe that until WT their relationship never slipped into romance, beyond perhaps certain tension which I think is sipping into what we see on screens (cough* tongue slip *cough). By which point serious relationship were already over, though I truly think they started to unravel sooner, that it was not pretty, and that L was the driving force of it. Why? There was a little movement in adjacent’s SM life which sparked my memories, S posting “my world” giving of vibes of obvious overcompensation? Well during the filming drought of s3, when all Polin fans were feeding of crumbs, someone reposted J’s post of appreciation to L with those words and additional “don’t get to see him a lot this days” (or something of a kind). Undertone is kind of similar, no? And the way she completely wiped him out of her life? Does not really say parting ways amiably to me😬

Yet again we DO NOT KNOW why hbs happened, how 🐜 got in the picture or where their relationship ever stood. But I will only say this, in my eyes it was the public who gave her the label, and as a result importance, not L, not really. All of her little games only make me believe in this more. She was never given permission to imply anything serious from him, a hotel room, a T-shirt, a hand, easily plausible to not be related to him, but posting his face without his consent? Entirely different story. Now as to her traveling with him, again we don’t know the circumstances behind the scene, was she there as a part of a friends group, her and his sister seemed chummy perhaps in some moments it was on hers behalf, or as an easy travel companion, or perhaps they are insanely in love and we are just fools. We DON’T REALLY KNOW anything, we see only what they allow us to see.

And you know what I saw? L was 😍 from the start of WT, his body language pretty much consistent throughout the entire WT. N on the other hand while always affectionate wasn’t as open or obvious until the second half of WT, especially with her 😍, in some of the last interviews she literally has “check out from reality” moments from looking at him. I see their silence as being sooo loud, especially on L part. They themselves stated that denying or commenting is pretty much pointless when it comes to public’s opinion, N said reading certain things online she would have a moment of “this is hurtful, they don’t even know me. THEY DON’T EVEN KNOW ME!!!” WE DON’T EVEN KNOW THEM, and they know that we don’t even know them, and they are right people will always think what people wish to think. (I for one am glad that more and more famous people feel confident enough to stop bending backwards for fans satisfaction. Public’s entitlement to peoples’ privacy is truly outrageous.) And what I see is that the only people whose point of view in this situation should matter are the two people whom we wish happiness. N and L. Look at what they allow us to see and don’t give attention to background dancers that are trying to distract us with flashy costumes from their inability to be in rhythm. To me some watermarks they paint seem like a beginning of a beautiful painting, but we’ll see what comes of it only when they would wish us to. (Not even going to comment on N supposed adjacent, those who believe that side hug is an epitome of romance, and perceive some barely reliable SM based sleuthing as hard core evidence, to each its own)

Again, apologies for dumping this on you. Truly adorable your blog.

Thank you for the kind words Anon, and glad you are here! ❤️️

[thew1ldblueyonder]

Forehead kisses are for friends?

Here's the thing about Robin and Steve; their friendship is one of a kind, and to the untrained eye their tactlessness, emotional and physical closeness could signal something romantic. But Eddie knows well that's not the case.

He does notice how much of their casual interactions go against the norm of platonic: sleeping in the same bed, sleeping on each other's laps, etc., but Eddie has never cared much about the norm. He himself goes very much against it, still a one man army facing off against conformity every day, at least in the little things.

The problem comes when he has to place himself into the equation that is Robin & Steve.

It happens like this:

Eddie hosts movie night. Normally Steve does, but this time he really wanted to do it. It seemed like a good idea.

Him, Jonathan, Argyle and Steve could smoke up a couple of joints - God knows they're all desperately in need of a distraction - and maybe Nancy would join in too - and if Nancy joins, Robin does too - and what better place to do that than at his trailer? The whole place already smells slightly of weed and the neighbors don't give a shit about it.

It's also a point of pride for him. Yes, the trailer is small. But it's alright. And he wants his newfound friends to find a home there, too. He wants to feel a little useful, at least.

So, people start arriving. Nancy drives Robin up, Jonathan and Argyle come together. Argyle is already spacey. Eddie's got the movie prepped, snacks on the table, and four traumatized monster hunters restlessly huddling up on his couch, and around it. He has placed some cushions on the floor as makeshift sitting places.

It's only Steve that's missing.

Robin and him are sitting on the floor, an empty cushion reserved for him between them, and she looks as restless as he feels.

See, Eddie's been kind if permanently on edge since the upside-down bullshit. He needs these people to be in places where they're supposed to be, when they're supposed to be. The whole thing kinda made him a control freak, sue him. But when his people are where he can see them he knows they're not in trouble. He knows they aren't getting pulled into the air, bones snapping like twigs...

When the door opens and Steve steps through with an apologetic smile Eddie lets out a relieved sigh. Robin perks up, and before Steve could even finish his explanation for his tardiness - something about keys, but Eddie thinks he's lying and would bet that he's just had a bad hair day and has been spending way too much time trying to fix it - she reaches for him, like a child wanting to be picked up.

Steve goes to her immediately, grabs her hands gently, and gives her a kiss on the forehead.

Not unusual. Eddie almost chuckles at the sweet and casual display of affection, ready to be jokingly snarky, to urge Steve to sit down, finally.

Except, faced with Steve Harrington, placing two hands on the side of his head and bending down, his head quiets immediately. It happens in an instant. Steve reaches down, and kisses him between his eyebrows, redirecting his bangs with one hand. It's short, and thank god for that, because Eddie stops breathing entirely for the duration of the thing. Just a quick platonic smack of lips.

He doesn't even notice the way Eddie sucks in a breath, frozen in place. Doesn't seem to see how he stays frozen, even after Steve sits down next to him, chatting idly with Argyle, leaning back against his leg. He's entirely unaware of his emotional turmoil.

Eddie blinks, his head fuzzy. The feeling of soft lips against his forehead still lingering. He looks ahead of him, and then looks at Robin, who's already watching him. She has an expression of curiosity, that he unfortunately cannot satisfy at all.

Steve doesn't kiss anybody else on the forehead.

Eddie spends the whole night thinking about it.

Was it just because he was also on the floor? Was it a bit? Did he somehow become part of the weird symbiosis that's Robin & Steve? Is he a platonic soulmate now?

Can he not be?

Can he get another kiss? (Preferably on the mouth.)

[joekeerys]

I find it interesting how we’ve never seen Jacaerys show any interest in women. Even in being betrothed to Baela, they act more like cousins than anything. His dance with Helaena was done almost entirely out of spite for Aegon, whom we’ve seen him show more interest in/affection toward as a child than anyone else. Then we have Cregan, whose relationship with Jacaerys in the book is…a whole other story. Jacaerys seemed quite fond of him in the short scene we got in the show too.

i’m gonna make a lot of people angry by saying this but i agree. i don’t think it’s any fault of the actors but jace and baela do not come off as a romantic couple at all. that’s entirely due to how condal & co chose to write them and their lack of scenes that would imply they’re anything other than close family. it’s unfortunate because i’d really like to see them explored more and they’ve already treated baela’s character poorly enough as it is. i highly doubt we’ll even get a kiss between them before jacaerys dies.

it’s obvious i’m a big jacegon shipper and, regardless of whether you view it as platonic/familial or not, the way they acted together as kids and the tension between them during the dinner because of that fallout is undeniable. we haven’t seen jace act the way he did with aegon with anyone else. i think some people downplay how much he looked up to aegon as a child (as they do with all of aegon’s relationships), especially considering it’s the reason why things were so tense between them after aegon very publicly betrayed him in 1x07. i’d argue that “everyone knows. just look at them.” coming from someone he admired so much is one of jace’s biggest reasons for feeling so inadequate his whole life. this got out of hand lmao but YEAH i think it’s interesting how affected jace and aegon are by each other and i do not see it as entirely platonic.

jace and cregan are a whole other story indeed. i’m not much of a jacegan shipper but cregan’s devotion to jace long after his death is interesting to say the least. i never bought into the whole sara snow thing and the absence of her in the show doesn’t bother me since it’s up in the air whether she existed at all and i take everything mushroom says with a grain of salt. i like the ship more as an idea. them seeing themselves in each other, jace finding someone he can be more comfortable with, and them finding a sort of intimacy in that. another instance where the he chemistry between them is pretty apparent and it helps that harry and tom are such good friends outside of the show.

i think there’s a reason why jace is normally written as gay in fanfics where he’s paired with a man, while the other party is usually written as bisexual. i wouldn’t go as far as to say that the showrunners write him that way intentionally because that would be giving too much credit to someone like sara hess who has called hotd “the gayest show on tv” for reasons beyond explanation.

i’ve always seen show jace at least as being more interested in men because that’s what we’ve been given. book jace is another story and harder to pin down. ultimately, i agree with you!

[stari-hun]

Reverse 1999 Ships I Subscribe to and Why

✰ Verneider - Doomed yuri my beloved. Verneider is like someone coming into your life and falling for them when you only have the summer together before you never see each other again. They would've worked out so well too if Constantine didn't wanna ensure that Vertin would stay 100% loyal to stopping the Storm.

✰ Sonettilda - I have eyes and they see gay people. Plus I wanna root for Matilda since she has a puppy crush on the puppy herself.

✰ Druvis x Lilya - Lesbian aunts. They have such good chemistry too, they were def flirting in Book 4.

✰ Vilasong - Erm i have eyes

✰ 37 x Sophia - Codependency Yuri

✰ Medikaal - They're both very nonhuman in opposite ways, Kaalaa is like a star fallen to earth and Medpocket is a menace. Plus gotta love a good workplace meet cute. (Go check out @medikaal and their main acc for more content)

✰ 6Pockets - Complicated explanation here, but the short of it is

✰ Niablume - It's ENTIRELLYYYY cause of @salt6x5 art on here but they're so cute. Melania who needs all this information and uses it to force people to not be complacent about their security x the information lover who's job is security. Plus they really compliment each other well whether one calms down from the other or gets more energy from the other.

✰ Tennant, Kakania, and Dikke - PVP Polycule as Mocha would put it. I have a full post here but I just think they'd hate each other for different reasons and because of that I want them to kiss too.

✰ KaalaaSong (Kaalaa Baunaa x Windsong) - Lesbabs.. as the scripture (Bluepoch) encourages. Kaalaa and Windsong are both extremely burnt out researchers, while KB is in a fully accepted field she still has to work harder to prove herself because she's an arcanist, and Windsong struggles to prove herself capable because of the actions of her predecessors. They'd do so good at any kind of tired meet cute whether it's meeting in the breakroom and bonding over their workloads as new recruits to Laplace, or them being on the same field missing together and falling asleep on each other during the train ride there.

✰ NecroFlan (Necrologist x Desert Flannel) - "*talking about what she loves to do*" "Oh my god... you're such a freak... why am I so into that-"

[A certified @anonymocha sourced ship]

✰ Tittering Heart (John Titor x Sweetheart) - Very judgmental but expressing it in opposite ways. Also John Titor would help Sweetheart with the photoshoot where she has the outfit 210 designs for her.

[ANOTHER certified anonymocha sourced ship, hope you see the pattern forming here]

-

Platonic Friend Groups!

✰ Spirit Box (An-An Lee, Horropedia, Isolde, Jessica) - Isolde plus a group who understands her and accepts her for her differences. Jessica and another person who understands the struggles of pretending to be something you're not in order to make others like her. An-An who gets to talk to other people in contact with the supernatural and has interest in working with her. Horropedia with a group that doesn't judge him for his interests and genuinely appreciates his help.

✰ Identity Issues and Masking Support Group (Jiu Niangzi, Jessica, Isolde, and Bette) - They all struggle with masking in the past or currently which led to a lot of identity issues. Half of them are relearning what it means to be a person.

[h2llish]

𓂃 ࣪ ˖ ❀ PRETTY PETALS, DARLING WORDS

❝ darling, i'll be your sunflower, just give me your light ,, ─── 200 follower event!

✉ ─── hello! i decided an event for the growing following of this blog would be nice! so here we are. i thought long and hard about whether or not i should do an event, so i hope you enjoy it! explanation and rules for this event will be below, including how to request.

【 this event takes place from june 21st to august 30th 】 ─── event masterlist

♡ ─── RULES FOR THIS EVENT (please read before requesting!)

♡ the fandoms i write for all apply ─ twisted wonderland, stardew valley, demon slayer, and obey me

♡ as i do for all my writing, i will only write oneshots for this event.

♡ there is no set number of requests i will take, and you are allowed to send in how many requests you want until the end date. but please try to refrain from sending in another ask until i'm finished with your first! it's much easier that way.

♡ please remember i am a writer for only male and gender neutral readers, and it will be written gender neutral lest you ask otherwise.

♡ this is only a reader insert event

♡ you are allowed to ask for platonic requests with the prompts! i will write both romantic and platonic.

♡ if you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask!

♡ you can request for certain add ons in your request like if you want more fluff, or if you want the reader to act a certain way! an example of this can be found with requesting examples.

─── that's all, you may continue reading to understand the event and how it works!

✉ ─── EXPLANATION

allow me to explain this event and how it works! this event has two parts, [pretty petals] and [darling words]. they can be requested separately, or together!

[pretty petals] are flower prompts, choose a flower ─ a prompt ─ and i will write it. some prompts are strictly romantic, but some can be applied platonically, i will specify on the prompt so be sure to tell me if you want it written romantic or platonic!

[darling words] are dialogue prompts, and much like the first event they can be applied romantically or platonically, so try to specify in your request!

─── now moving on to the prompts!

❀ ─── PRETTY PETALS (part one)

❝ you're pretty like a rose ,,

red rose

(romantic) prompt: you liked to think it's easier to love someone in secret ─ or perhaps just loving them quietly was easier. you only wished they'd notice you in the way you've always seen them.

yellow lily

prompt: they've always been a constant in your life, which is why it was so hard when you lost touch with them ─ but now they're back and things are different, and you can only hope you can go back to being as close as you once were. but maybe that's just wishful thinking.

sunflower

prompt: your shop has always been short on staff, you never quite understood why, but you didn't complain. which is why you were surprised when your boss suddenly introduced you to your new coworker. even more so when you recognize them to be a frequent customer.

black dahlia

(romantic) prompt: they'd left some time ago, and along with them, went your feelings you had kept to yourself for as long as you two had known each other. but now you're in front of them again as they hold out a hand and ask you to dance amidst the crowd. you thought you were over them, but oh how wrong you were.

black calla lily

prompt: reincarnation ─ to live again and again, to go through the motions of wanting and needing from the very beginning, it was exhausting. but it was easier when you had them in your life every new breath. it's unfortunate you're only the one who remembers the before.

white camelia

(romantic) prompt: they love you ─ adore you even. but they've always thought you see them as nothing more than a friend. which is why they're confused when they're friends seem to believe otherwise ─ wait what do they mean they're going to play matchmaker?

✿ ─── DARLING WORDS (part two)

❝ and you smile like the sun ,,

✿ "it's okay, you can stay."

✿ (romantic) “i need to tell you something. and i need you to not hate me when i do."

✿ (romantic) “i honestly don’t even know who you could possibly be referring to.”

✿ “why does everybody keep saying that?”

✿ "i forgot how much i missed you."

✿ (romantic) “do you like me?” ♡ “something like that..”

✿ (romantic) “you’re my favorite.” ♡ “favorite what?” ♡ “everything.”

✿ "I don't feel that way about you"

✿ "you can't do that"

✿ "let's try again"

✿ (romantic) “I’m tired. I want to let go.”

✿ (romantic) “I don’t mind loving them from afar if it means I get to keep them in my life.”

✿ "where are we going?"

✿ "you're so dramatic, you know?"

✿ bonus ─ give me your own prompt!

─── a lot of these prompts come from @celestialwrites , @love-me-a-good-prompt , @dumplingsjinson and @novelbear

─── optional: if you request only from this part of the event, you can give me a setting if you want, if not, then it will all be up to me!

✉ ─── REQUEST EXAMPLES

in case you're a little confused here's some examples for requests!

─ i'd like to request red rose with vil from twst

─ can i request romantic "i forgot how much i missed you" with lucifer and male reader

─ yellow lily and "why does everyone keep saying that?" with ace, platonic

want to add a little extra to your request? here's more examples!

─ can i request romantic mammon and yellow lily with a reader who is sarcastic

─ platonic male reader and "it's okay, you can stay", after cater stumbles across reader who is upset

─ red rose and lucifer, but ends in angst

requests are open until august 30th, please don't be shy to request!

do not repost, translate, copy or run my writing through an ai

[catnippackets]

as someone who’s coming to terms w their own aroace identity, what does queerplatonic mean to you? you have a handful of characters in those relationships, so i just assume you understand the concept since you write it. sorry if this sounds strange, english is not my first language! 🧡💛🤍🩵💙

this doesn't sound strange at all! your english is great :)

well first off, from what I've learned over the years, everybody has their own little definition of what queerplatonic means to them, so my explanation of what it means to me might not be the same as what it means to other people. it's sort of a nebulous concept that can mean whatever you want it to mean, kinda like how nonbinary can mean whatever you want it to mean and just because you strongly disagree with how someone else is using it doesn't mean either of you are wrong

I also wanna say that I've written a few qprs in my day and they're all different! there is no single consistent portrayal of what I think a queerplatonic relationship is, bc each qpr I write will look slightly different and involve different things. but at the base of it all, to me, a qpr is a relationship that isn't romantic but that is still more intimate than a platonic friendship would be. usually I say that to mean physical intimacy, like cuddling or whatnot, but it includes emotional intimacy as well. I also like to imagine it as sort of the aroace version of being in a relationship, but you DON'T have to be aro or ace to be in a qpr, anyone can have one if that's what your feelings are

sometimes I like to imagine a qpr as sort of the halfway point between platonic and romantic; you're not in love but maybe you snuggle or even occasionally kiss like you are, but there is no romance there, you're just close in a special way that you aren't with your friends. sometimes qprs will even involve sex, and from an outsider perspective, look like you're just in regular love. sometimes qprs barely look intimate at all and from an outside perspective, you just look like regular friends. all of these examples are still qprs! because it all depends on how the people involved are labelling it, and different people have different standards for their own attraction. if someone regularly kisses and cuddles with all their platonic friends and that's normal for them, then a queerplatonic relationship might look really different for them, but for me, if I had a friend who I felt comfortable kissing and cuddling with, that would DEFINITELY be a qpr for me bc I would never even dream of doing that with a platonic friend. but also I wouldn't label it as a qpr either, even though it would technically be one by definition, because I wouldn't be comfortable being in a relationship if it had a label and I would prefer to just be somebody's person and know that we've committed to each other without being "partners" or whatnot. I know that's probably kind of confusing but I can't think of any other way to explain it haha

basically at the end of the day if you feel like your feelings of attraction can't be defined as strictly platonic or romantic but they're still definitely there, that would make them queerplatonic, but of course you don't have to use any labels at all if you don't want to. I hope that was helpful in some way lol

[beelijah4894]

I want to examine Chilcuck's change in relationship with Marcille

Quite frankly, I want to discuss the way his general trust changes and how it affects him.

Marcille and Chilcuck are good coworkers, especially at the start of the show. They respect boundaries and share a teasingly platonic relationship. Beyond that, they are fairly good friends; not extremely close but still good. For lack of a better explanation, they are close enough to be able to show genuine concern for the others comfortability rather than just their safety. For example, when Marcille is attack by the slime, Chilchuck offers his hanky to blow out the excess. Or when Marcille helped Chilchuck stitch up his neck wrap.

This show does a tremendous job of showing how these characters have already gotten to know each other and that they know each other well. When Chilchuck is trapped with the mimic, he trusts Marcille would be concerned enough to get help, but also knows her well enough to know she probably fell back asleep. Still, Chilchuck does trust these people. Enough even to share his age and very minor details about his life outside the dungeon.

A scene that really shows Chilchuck's trust in the group is right before the Undine attack when he is laying out the plan for the rest of the trip. It shows just how well they work together and Chil doesn't have to worry about too many details. He knows he is with a strong group. In fact, I'd say they are at their strongest right before and during the dragon attack. They make a plan together and work out each others strengths, in which Chil is able to help in the actual fight. (another less important fact, but when Laios is mentioning how they used to fight dragons, children isn't even named).

Then, the resurrection happens. Chilchuck is the number one person against it. So why does he stay? Why doesn't he stop it or leave the party? There are quite a few reasons. He can't go home without his party, he'd never survive. But he also doesn't want them to die and I think deep down, he does trust their judgement. They've stayed alive this long doing things he wasn't comfortable with and, while this is an extreme, he does have some form of trust there.

Chilchuck is such a follower of what is ethically right and he obviously doesn't agree with this. While, on the other side, Marcille thinks that "there is no morality in magic." It drives a stake through that bond because they both feel so strongly about it. And all of those adventures they had before almost don't matter when Chilchuck is talking to Laios about how, "[He] always found it strange. A well off elf girl wanting to explore the dungeon." (quote may not be exactly correct). Chil doesn't trust "that Marcille" anymore, at least, not as much as he used to. It doesn't help that she is frightening when she is walking the mini dragons away.

When Chil is complaining about his group to the orc (I can't remember her name, forgive me), he admits that they are consistently near death and how his party is reckless and stupid. We know now that he is afraid of losing them and was generally projecting his own feelings of fear. Marcille is included in this, as he complains about her. He, however, mentions her life after the dungeon. "How is she going to live a normal life after this?" He does care for her, but I believe he is projecting here also. How would he live a normal life after witnessing that. What would he do if they're found out?

And this is projected onto Marcille after a while. When Marcille is teaching Laios healing magic and Marcille and Chilchuck discuss party relationships. He implies that she shouldn't have even been let into the group. "I wish he had a better judge of character. That way he'd never find himself in a situation involving black magic." Not to mention in this episode, This being the shot after he says this. They are metaphorically further apart than they have been up until this point and Laios is right in the middle of it.

That friendship is still there. We can see it in places like when Marcille is just holding Chilchuck during the cleaners episode and he's not really angry. But that trust and fear is still there. We see in the Chimera episode, Chilchuck trying to let Marcille know about Shuro and a few others knowing what happened; he is still unhappy to be in this situation and wants to find a way out, but there really isn't a way out.

"I knew it. I had a feeling it would turn out like this. Dammit!"

"Sorry, guys…"

followed by Chilchucks defeated expression. No reassurance, but no fighting either.

This wasn't my best analysis but I am putting my one year of college to use!

I can't wait to see how this changes and expands. I am still only on anime right now, bc my manga are on back order but I'll get there soon enough! @burnazog

[fluffysucker]

Desperate People find faith.

Bucky Barnes x reader

An accident mends your broken heart.

A/N: Written in Third POV. No use of Y/N. However, the reader is referred to as a female.

I read this amazing oneshot, and I couldn't stop thinking about this idea. So I added my own twist to it. Thanks to the wonderful writer for sharing it and for inspiring me.

Likes, comments, reblogs are VERY VERY highly appreciated. Opinions really matter to me

TW: Bullets and blood. Mentions of torture but nothing explicit

Main Masterlist

You knew you shouldn't have done it. You should have stayed home. What could barely be described a home. You should have minded your business. You should have acted like the civilian you are now. You shouldn't have done it. But your loyalty to Steve wouldn't have let you

The image of the cheap copy so-called Captain America holding the shield blasting all over the news was a hit. A gut-wrenching hit. There was a guy who was taking the place of your childhood best friend, the man you called brother, the fearless leader. And he looked happy doing so. Then the blond had the audacity to say that Steve felt like a brother to him. You felt physical pain that you almost threw up.

Rationality went out the window. Before you knew any better, you were tracking down the man who was handed your friend's legacy. The man who gave it away when there was nobody more deserving than him. It wasn't hard to know exactly where Sam Wilson was. You were aware he joined the Air Force once again. So you hijacked the location of his next mission, demanding answers.

But it appeared that you weren't the only one who had the same plan. As you were talking to Sam, trying to be as nice as you could, giving him the benefit of the doubt, telling him you weren't here to judge or pick a fight. You just wanted an explanation. You heard him.

"Shouldn't have given up the shield."

His voice was filled with anger. But you could hear the sadness hidden in his tone. Sam scuffed, walking away from you as well. You turned around and you saw him. The love of your life. Quite literally.

You fail to recall a time you weren't in love with James Buchanan Barnes. Growing up together, your trio was inseparable. You would never see one without the others. From the age of three till your twenties, the three of you were more than family.

Despite loving Steve like the brother you never had, the same couldn't be said about his best friend. Your feelings for the brunette were never platonic. Neither were his. In the second grade, he promised to marry you once he got older. And he did. He kneeled to the ground with a beautiful golden ring for you once he secured a job. It was the easiest yes in your life.

Loving him came to you naturally. Stolen glances. Sweet words. Fast heartbeats. Shy smiles. Gentle touches. You were each other first everything. It was like you were made for each other. Like you were born to love him.

And he was your perfect man. Every woman envied you. Every woman hoped to have someone look at her like he looked at you. Every woman wished for a man who treated her the way he treated you. Every woman prayed for a man to love her that much.

Bucky Barnes was head over heels in love with you. And he made sure he showed it.

You were the luckiest girl.

Up until your luck ran out. War knocked on your door like a hurricane, destroying your life.

You remember the night before Bucky was shipped. When you went home after what couldn't be called a double date at Stark expo. The promises the both of you made. Your dream wedding. Your house. Your family. Your kids. All of it. Your future. And you believed him. You couldn't fathom any alternatives.

So when Steve walked in your tent where you did your job as a journalist, who was asked to cover The Howling Commandos missions and subject their heroism to the public, you knew. The look of utter defeat in his face, his glassy eyes, his red nose, the way he was trying to shrink away in his new huge body, you knew.

Your heart was ripped and broken to pieces. The pain was suffocating. You were drowning. You felt like the world ended. Life stopped.

You don't remember how things went after that. You don't remember if Steve ever said the words to you, but you remember his promise of revenge as he held your sobbing body against his chest.

And he did. He ended Hydra. But it came with a price. Very high. After Steve's sacrifice, life became meaningless. You weren't living. You were barely breathing. You were alone.

So when the government asked you to write the final article about the war, the winning announcement, you were about to turn it down. You found difficulties in everything. Leaving your bed sounded like a tiring task. Eating felt like a punishment. Functioning like a human became a burden.

But you remembered how supportive Bucky was of your career. When every man let women their abandon their dreams, Bucky helped you fight for yours. And he gave his life for this victory. Your fiancée and bestfriend. You owed it to them. To be the one to report the triumph tinted with their effort and blood.

So you put in all your strength and travelled with the small team to write the most important piece of work in your life.

However, only a number of people of the team and the article made it back. You didn't.

On your way back, you were ambushed by unknown soldiers. They took you to unknown quarters. You were so confused until you saw that cursed symbol. They weren't gone. Neither was your fiancée.

And that began a lifetime of torture and pain. They brainwashed Bucky but left you with your memories. So when they threatened to hurt him, you caved and let them do whatever they wanted to you. It was a trap they built for you, and you fell in it every time. They would hurt both of you at the end.

You endured it all. You survived it all. Except the moment they made Bucky look you in the eyes and fight you. They erased you from his mind. You saw the love of your life, and he saw nothing. He looked at you and saw either an enemy or a mission partner. And that was the most painful torture Hydra put you through.

As if this wasn't enough. You had to face a hindrance you never thought of.

After Steve rescued the both of you, after him running away from you, after spending two years making amendments with the government and helping Steve search for him, after the accords and Zemo's predicament, after he remembered you, after Princess Shuri was able to give him back his freedom, after you hugged him as he cried, after you decided to finally have that wedding, Thanos happened.

You believe you did something so terrible in another life, and you were getting punished for it in this life. There was no logical explanation as to why this kept happening to you. Why were you robbed of any chances of happiness. Why did you have to watch your man disappear right after having him back. Why you could only feel ache and misery. Why was the world so cruel.

So you kept your hopes to minimum when Steve came to your shared apartment one night, telling you that they had a plan. You agreed to join them in the time heist, ready to be disappointed.

But the second you saw Bucky standing on the sides with his machine gun, you wanted to cry. You thought it was an illusion, but these blue eyes said something else. Now, you were fighting with a strong drive and purpose.

You thought that was it. Your happy ending. You finally had him. But Steve leaving tore you apart. You were happy for your bestfriend who finally did something for himself. However, you couldn't help but feel sad. At least you and Bucky had each other.

Bucky had another thing in mind. Because, a couple of weeks after Steve leaving, Bucky broke up with. He said he needed to figure himself out and work on his pardon. You understood. But it didn't make it any easier.

So you left, giving him all the space he needed. You hadn't seen or spoken to each other since. At least he is alive. That's what you kept telling yourself to find any sort of comfort or condolence.

So this was the first time you had met. He looked different. He cut his hair. He had a scruff. He was wearing an all black outfit. He had gloves on. He had little bags under his eyes. He looked good overall. That's what mattered to you.

"Good to see you too, Buck." Sam said as he walked with intentions to move away from Bucky.

"This is wrong." Bucky didn't give him the chance as be walked beside Sam, without batting you an eye. You couldn't say that didn't hurt but you followed them anyway.

"Look, I'm working, alright. So all this outrage is going to have to wait." It was clear that Bucky wasn't here to have a civil conversation like you.

"You didn't know this was going to happen?" Bucky accused Sam.

"No, of course I didn't know that was going to happen." Sam was quick to deny Bucky's accusations.

"You think it didn't break my heart to see them march him out and call him the new Captain America." This was more directed towards you, following up to your conversation before Bucky cut in.

"This isn't what Steve wanted." Bucky wasn't going to back down.

"Oh my god. So what do you want me to do? Call America and tell them I changed my mind. " Sam's sarcastic reply did nothing but annoy Bucky's more.

"Like I told your wife. There is nothing we can do. You just couldn't wait for her to get home." You looked at Sam. It didn't appear to you that he wouldn't know.

"We broke up."

Another wave of pain hit you as you turned to look at Bucky, who was still not looking at you. How easy could he just say it with no emotions at all. You were fighting to get by every day, and he looked like he didn't care.

"What?!" Sam stopped suddenly once he heard Bucky's words, turning to the both of you.

"You,two lovebirds who literally broke laws to be together, broke up?" Sam couldn't believe his ears. He thought you would have gotten married by now. Your love for each other more epic than all the novels he read.

"Were you asked to give it up?" You changed the topic quickly, refusing to answer Sam's question or talk about your tragic love story. It hurt bad enough, and you didn't want to show it.

"Of course not." Sam heard you loud and clear. He also knew your question had pure intentions. You weren't here to offend him.

"Right, great reunion, guys. Be well." Sam turned to walk out, ending this conversation.

"You had no right to give up the shield, Sam." Bucky was angry, and he was showing it. In the wrong way.

"This is what you aren't going to do. You aren't going to come here in your over extended life and tell me about my rights." Three of you came to a stop.

"It's over." Sam added, looking at you as you came to stand next to Bucky.

"Besides, I have bigger things to deal with."

And you hadn't rest since.

It was, indeed, big thing to deal with.

You had no idea what you were getting yourself into when you impulsively followed Sam and Bucky into the plane.

It was a constant mess. The flag smashers. New super soldiers. Karli Morgenthau. Isaiah Bradley. Zemo. Madripoor. Power Broker. And the worst of them all. John Walker and Lemar Hoskins. It never ended.

All that chaos was a good distraction. You didn't have time to think about your broken heart nor to think about the current nature of your and Bucky's relationship.

It was complicated and confusing.

You fought very well together. Your combined sets of skills were lethal. Your collective training and ability to work together kicked in when needed. Away from that, the both of you barely talked. You acknowledged each other existence. That's how you would describe it.

However, you couldn't explain why Bucky refused when Raynor asked you and Sam to join them in the session in the police station. Or why he always made sure you stayed at least an arm distance away from Zemo. Or why did he choose to be the Winter Soldier for the night instead of you compromising your identity that you kept a secret all these years. Or why, that day at Madripoor, he almost took multiple bullets for you. Or why whenever John showed up, his hand would always find yours.

You were thankful you didn't have the time to think about all of this because you were sure you would have lost your mind. You barely had your emotions in checks. And there was a lot going on.

Then it all went crushing. You would never forget this day.

You followed Sam and Bucky, running out of the building into the street, only to see the calamity that just occurred.

John Walker stood proud with the blood-tinted shield above the man he just slaughtered.

Instinctively, your hand came up to wrap around Bucky's bicep, looking for any comfort for the both of you. This scene would forever be engraved in your memories.

Three of you gave John some time. You stood outside of the warehouse he was in right now. You knew if you all went angry, the results would be catastrophic.

But it was anyway.

You let Sam do most of the talking. He was the best in this. If anyone could convince John to hand over the shield, it would be him. So you stood and watched. But it appeared that the time you gave John Walker to cool down only drove him more over the edge. So, with the three of telling him to give up the shield, John Walker lost his mind.

It should have been an easy fight. A veteran and an avenger and two super soldiers. It shouldn't be hard. But neither one of the three of you was fighting was the intention to hurt John. Unlike him, John was fighting to kill. With his new powers, he was uncontrollable.

You let out a high-pitched scream once you saw John throw Bucky away, electrocuting his arm, making him lose consciousness. Then you watched as he straddled Sam on the ground. You needed to act quickly.

You groaned as you got up from the floor, looking at the cut in your arm. Nothing too bad. You told yourself as you ran toward John tickling him away from Sam.

It was just you and him, now.

And it was brutal.

You were still trying not to hurt him too much. However, he was unstoppable. So when he figured that he would lose combat with you eventually, he retrieved to other options.

Picking the shield and throwing it at you for it cause a cut in your chest was enough distraction for him to take out the gun he kept in his suit and shot you.

The bullets found their places in your stomach and legs. He aimed for places that you wouldn't recover from. You fell to the ground, coughing blood, feeling the bullets rest so deep in your body.

John walked towards you with the shield. He looked at you. His eyes were showing insanity and rage. He lifted the shield up and hit you in the chest. The pain was like no other. And you knew that was it.

It felt ironic in so many ways. Your bestfriend's shield. The shield that presented all of Steve's values and beliefs. The shield that helped once save your life. Now, it was going to be the weapon to kill you.

Of all the ways you thought you would die in, this wasn't even close. But when was life ever fair to you? At least you would have peace now. Your dying wish was for Bucky to know how much you loved him and how you wanted him to be fine and happy. Because you loved Bucky more than life itself.

You tried to distract yourself from the excruciating pain by counting how many hits of the shield would it take to end you.

You counted two.

You started coughing violently as you felt a weight got lifted off your chest. All your body going numb for seconds.

You saw Bucky was up once again, and he managed to corner John with Sam, trying to break his arm to take away the shield.

You desperately tried to get up and help them, but your whole body was on fire. Why was the serum not working?

A breath escaped you once you heard the sound of bone breaking. Only to realize breathing hurt. Everything hurt so bad.

With cuts on your arms and face, bruises on your ribs, wounds in your chest, bullets in your stomach and legs, you gave up, closing your eyes.

Because of your agonizing pain. You didn't hear Bucky beating the life out of John after taking the shield. He didn't stop until John passed out.

Bucky turned around and saw a sight that came straight out of his worst nightmares. He had seen it too many times. Woke up scared and sweating because of it. A sight that he knew would haunt him more than it already did.

Your lifeless body in a pool of blood.

He took careful steps towards you, praying it would disappear, and this would just be a nightmare of his. But the sound of your faint heartbeats made it real.

"Doll." Bucky got on his knees next to you, holding your motionless body in his arm.

You hissed in pain as you felt a movement that caused all the pain in your body to stir awake again.

"Bucky." Your voice was a whisper. You were too tired to open your eyes, but the feeling of the metal around you was familiar.

"I'm right here, doll." Bucky may not let it show in his voice, but if you opened your eyes, you would see the fear and tears.

"I need you to stay awake, okay. Can you do this for me? Please, stay awake." Bucky never felt this desperate before.

"Help is on the way." The three of you had already arranged with Torres to have an ambulance on stand-by. You had a feeling things would go bad. But not that bad.

"I'm tired." The amount of blood you were losing was making you too dizzy.

"I know, doll. But you will be okay." Bucky didn't care about the blood getting all over him as he pulled you closer to him.

"You will get better. Because you have to." He was saying it more to himself than you.

"I prayed for this." Talking was getting too hard, but you had to tell.

"What did you pray for?" Bucky was doing anything to keep you awake. He needed to listen to your voice.

"To die in your arms."

Bucky felt the tears escape his eyes, falling down freely on his face.

"You aren't dying. You will be okay." You heard it. The shakiness of his voice.

Fighting the great pain you were in, you opened your eyes to look at him. You wanted to see him one last time. This is why you prayed to die in his arms. So his face would be the last thing to see. This voice would be the last thing you heard. His arms the last thing you felt. Your farewell to the cruel world would be with the man who had been your heaven on Earth.

You lifted your arm with a moan of pain before you placed it on his cheek. You needed to say it. You needed it to be your last words.

"I love you, Bucky. I loved you my whole life."

With that, the world went dark.

You didn't get to see the mess that Bucky became as he heard your heartbeats slow down. His screams and desperate calls of your name to wake up.

He was so blinded by pain that he didn't let the paramedics near, protecting your body until he realized who they were. They didn't try to fight him when he insisted on getting in the ambulance with you.

All the time you were in the surgery, Bucky was inconsolable. He didn't care that Sam and Torres saw him as he sobbed, sitting on the floor waiting for anybody to tell you were fine. All he cared about was that he didn't say it back. You could die not knowing how much he loved you. The thought brought new tears to his already puffy red eyes

He prayed to God and anyone that would hear. If you were standing close enough, you would hear him. "Please, don't take her from me." "Please, let her be okay." "Take me instead of her." "She deserves so much better, please."

In his long life that was filled with hardships, torture, and wars, this was the worst pain he ever went through. He could feel his heart twisting and breaking. Every cell in his body was hurting. The emotional pain turning physical.

His eyes were dried up. Cheeks stained with tears. His mind going through all the worst scenarios. None of them he would be able to survive.

He jumped up from the floor when the door opened, and a doctor walked out. His heart was beating a thousand miles a second. All these prayers never leaving his mouth. His last hope.

"She is okay."

Tears of relief fell from his eyes. You survived it. You made it. The doctor talked about your injuries. With medications and the seurm, you would heal properly. Bucky didn't pay attention. His mind focused on one thing. He needed to see you.

After knowing your room's number, Bucky didn't leave your side. The doctor told him it might take a bit for you to wake up, but he didn't mind. He would stay forever.

It wasn't long before you woke up.

You opened your eyes slowly, adjusting to the bright lights. The last thing you remember was the intense pain. It didn't hurt as much now. You just felt so exhausted. You tried to move your hands, only to be blocked.

You looked down to see Bucky holding your hand so tightly and his head resting next to it. You could tell his eyes were swollen and his nose was red. But he looked peaceful sleeping. You missed him so much.

Without much thought, you moved your other free hand to his head, playing with his hair. It felt soft under your fingers. You blamed the serum that made him wake up from such a simple touch.

You smiled softly as you watched him, trying to remember where he was and what he was doing. He looked confused until he saw you.

"You are awake." Bucky got up from the seat next to the bed.

"Are you okay? Are you pain? What hurts? I'm going to call the doctor." He was frantic. He only stopped when you held his metal hand.

"I'm okay, Bucky." You reassured him with a smile.

You repeated it a couple of times before he finally sat back down on the chair. That's when you noticed he was still in his suit that was covered in blood. Your blood.

After he sat down, he looked at your intertwined fingers together and couldn't help the tears.

"What's wrong?" You asked as you moved your thumb gently on his knuckles.

"You scared the life out of me." He answered as he wiped his tears away.

"Though we were used to this, Barnes." You replied playfully, hands still together.

"Not when it comes to you. Never you." Bucky was fast to respond.

"Nothing I haven't been through before." You said it casually. You didn't miss the look in Bucky's eyes. It held too much depth to it. You couldn't put your hand on it

"Is your arm okay? Do you need to get it checked?" Flashbacks were coming back to you bit by a bit. As you touched his metal arm, you remembered what happened to him.

"You are in the hospital bed, and you are asking about my arm." Bucky's laugh was dry. He would always be in awe of how caring you were.

"I will never stop caring about, Bucky. Even if you don't want me." It was true. Nothing could make you stop caring about Bucky.

"Don't want you?" Bucky couldn't let your comment go by.

"Yeah. You don't want me anymore. It's okay. I understand."

"You understand?"

"I remind you of a bad time. The worst. And you had to move on. You had to cut ties with all parts of this time."

"Is this why you think we broke up?"

"Isn't it?"

You started telling yourself this after the breakup as a way to pick the shattered pieces of your heart. Of course, he didn't want to be with someone who held their bad time as a constant reminder on her body as scars. Or with someone who went through the same hell as him. He deserved someone better. Someone who wasn't so damaged.

And you understood.

"No, it isn't."

He was planning to tell you everything but not right now. But words just fell out from the tip of his tongue.

"I don't look at you and see bad time. I look at you, and I see all my failures."

You looked at him, baffled, not getting what he meant.

"I remember everything."

You still didn't know what he wanted to say.

"I remember what Hydra did to you. What they made you do for me. What I did to you."

"Bucky.."

"How they pushed you too far in the lies of not hurting me. How they made you watch as they erased you from my mind. How they made me fight you. Hurt you."

You were about to tell him how you didn't hold him accountable to any of this because it was never his fault. It was never his intention. You were sure Bucky would never hurt you. The Winter Soldier not too. But he cut you off.

"They took you because they knew how much you meant to me. How important you are to me. I was the reason you had to go through all of this."

"I look at you and remember how I failed to protect you. When that's all I ever wanted in life. To protect you. But I failed."

"Just like I failed today."

Before you could say anything, he kept going.

"I couldn't understand how you could still love me."

"I looked at the list of people I hurt, and your name was first. And you wanted to help me. You wanted to stay by my side. I couldn't live with the guilt. I still can't. I had to let you go despite how bad it hurts."

"But, doll, I want you to be sure nobody will ever love you half as much as I do."

It took years for Hydra to remove you from his mind. But what they didn't know was that they never fully succeeded.

At first, he would forget his name but remember his girl and everything about you. Then they become harsher, so he would only remember your face and name. Then, it became only your face. Then nothing. The blank paper for them to write what they wanted.

However, whenever Hydra made the both of you train together or go on missions, he would get this rush of flashbacks like a movie playing in his head once he was alone in his cell. It would be you. In different places and different ages. The Winter Soldier would convince himself that it must be his memories from past missions. Effects of being wiped too many times.

The soldier was never able to shake the feeling of guilt after a training session where he would be instructed to be tough with you. A feeling so foreign to him.

He remembers the first time he refused to hurt you. They made him watch from far as they tortured you. Then they wiped him again. Every time he showed any sympathy for you, he was wiped and handled roughly.

But all the efforts weren't enough. You were the first thing he remembered once he settled in Bucharest. That's when the guilt came in. It was you. The love of his love. His fiancée. And they got to you. And he couldn't save you.

Even after the blip, His thoughts kept going back to how he betrayed you and hurt you instead of protecting you like he was meant it.

But the worst part was how he thought he didn't deserve your love anymore. He thought you would resent him. So he decided to break his heart into two. He left.

You were the forbidden topic that Raynor wasn't allowed to go near despite how much she wanted. You were the centre of his nightmares. All of them. Past memories of both of you at Hydra. Missions and trainings. And the worst, losing you. Watching you getting killed. Nightmares that invaded him, and he was defenceless.

"I love you, and I'm so sorry." Bucky laid soft kiss on your hand.

"Let me ask a question, Bucky." He looked at you, tears still filling his eyes.

You didn't expect this to be the real reason why you and Bucky broke up. But you should have known. He was too good of a man.

"If it had been the other way you around, wouldn't you have done the same? Would you have hated me then?"

"I would give my life for you without hesitation. And nothing could ever make me hate you."

His answer was fast. That was the only thing he knew about himself. You come first, always.

"Then why are you surprised with what I did? You don't love me more, Bucky." You laughed softly, already feeling your ribs ache a bit.

You always had this running joke that Bucky loved you more than you did. And to a lot of the extent, it was true.

"You didn't deserve it."

"Neither did you."

You patted the spot on bed next to you, wanting him to be close to you. And he listened. He sat on the bed, hands never leaving each other.

"Haven't we been through enough? Haven't the world tore us apart too many times? Let us have this."

If he still loved you, then you should be together. You should be broken together. You should heal together. It was poetic how even in pain, you were still together.

Both of you understood each other better than anyone. You shouldn't be separated.

"You don't hate me?" It was Bucky's worst fear and biggest doubt. If the damage Hydra did was unrepairable.

"I can live hundreds of years and still be in love with you."

You squeezed his hand to make sure he knew how serious you were. "You are all I have ever known, Bucky."

With that, Bucky got up and moved so close to you. Your faces millimetres away from each other. His breath fanning over your face. His personal scent with dust and blood engulfing you. His blue eyes warming the inside of you.

"I got the best girl of them all." Bucky kissed you.

It was a soft, slow kiss. A sign of starting over. Of getting back.

You smiled in the kiss. Bucky used to say this all the time back then. You were known as Bucky's best girl. He used to call you that.

You broke away, feeling so much better now. Bucky rested his flesh hand on your cheek.

"I thought I lost you. I was so scared."

"You didn't. I'm right here."

"Though you will leave me before I say it back." You looked at him, puzzled.

"I love you, doll. You are the thing I live for. You are the purpose of my existence. I love you so much."

You didn't care about the pain as you moved up to meet his lips one more time. And he kissed you back right away.

"You owe me a ring and wedding, Barnes." You joked while you brought your other hand to hold into his suit to ground yourself.

He laughed before he moved away for a bit, and you already missed the closeness, and he wasn't far. You watched as he brought his dog tags out. You saw something bright with them but couldn't tell it was.

"Oh my god." You felt tears gather in your eyes as Bucky brought out the shiny thing closer.

It was your ring. Your engagement ring. The ring Bucky put in your finger many years ago. It was it. You thought it must have been lost that you didn't try to look for it, avoiding the disappointment.

But here it was. Bucky was able to find it. And he kept it with his dog tags. So close to his heart. Where you belonged.

Bucky got in one knee in his technical gear in a hospital room with you connected to IV.

"Doll, will you marry me?"

You laughed loudly that you felt pain shot again in your body. Bucky was next to you in an instant when your laugh turned to a cough.

"Third time is a charm." You said as you gave him your hand.

With another proposal in Wakanda before the snap, you managed to get Bucky Barnes on his knees three times for you.

He put the ring on your finger and pressed a kiss on your hand. "It will be. Mrs. Barnes." The name always had its sweet effect on you.

Bucky leaned in again to kiss you. And this kiss felt out of the world. Like a lifeboat before drowning. Water after the drought. Your rescue.

It was Bucky's promise of safety and security. Nothing and nobody was ever going to hurt you again. A promise of a safe home. Together.

You kept your forehead resting on his as your hand found its place once again on his suit.

"No to be rude, but you need a shower, babe." You could feel the dust on his face and the blood dried on his suit and skin.

"I will be okay. Probably going to fall asleep." You didn't give him a chance to protest.

"Plus, you know. I like my man nice and clean." You pecked his lips playfully.

The sound of the word "your man" falling from your lips referring to Bucky made his heart do little dances. Damn right he was your man.

"I won't take long." He kissed your hair before he got up and left to get himself presentable for his lady.

The world felt lighter, brighter, better. You felt happy. You were happy. You looked at the ring that held huge meaning for you. You weren't hurting. You were finally okay. You had your man back.

Who would have thought a near death incident would be the thing to give you back the man who always brought life to you.

[kl125]

I need to talk about this take. I’ve seen it so many times, and it continuously baffles me.

1. Why is mileven even being brought up in an unrelated fandom? I don’t know anything about Arcane, but I know that there was no reason to bring up ST on an Arcane Confessions account (there were some other posts comparing mileven to a ship in the series, and OP asked what mileven was, resulting in the above explanation).

2. MIKE 👏🏻 AND 👏🏻 EL 👏🏻 ARE 👏🏻 NOT 👏🏻 RELATED 👏🏻! How many times do we have to explain this? They aren’t related by blood or by law in the context of the show (neither are Finn and Millie, but I’m going to keep this to the characters from here on out). Nor have they ever said they see each other as relatives. This is a textbook case of taking things dangerously out of context (which I provide in point five). YOU may see them as “sibling-coded” or think they should be platonic, but that is entirely YOUR choice. Neither the creators nor the writers have ever said people should view mileven as familial/platonic or that the characters only see one another as brother/sister. This is an INTERPRETATION, not a definitive FACT.

3. Considering someone family does not make any relationship between them incestuous. Mike and El were twelve when they met. They’ve had a strong bond from the beginning, but their characterization and understanding of it has grown and changed just as they have. Nothing wrong with that. However, I say again, at no point have they explicitly stated they consider each other siblings in any sense of the word, AND there is a big difference between FOUND family and BLOOD family (neither is inherently better or more valid than the other, just different, that’s all).

4. The writers have an incest kink? Uhh…no? They’ve made it clear from the beginning that mileven is romantic. Mike and El call each other “boyfriend/girlfriend” all the time and have both said “I love you”. Also, categorizing anything related to a ship between two minors as the result of a “kink” from the writers is just disgusting.

5. I’ve seen people use Mike’s words in S1 to support this incest opinion (when he tells El that Nancy will be “like [her] new sister”). When El asked if that would make Mike “like [her] brother”, he IMMEDIATELY shut that down, making sure to distinguish their relationship. Even back then, he knew that what he and El have is unique and precious and decidedly NOT the same as how siblings should feel towards one another. This would be no different than how my brother-in-law feels towards me versus how he feels towards my sister. One is familial and one is romantic, respectively. Two different types of love, both valid, and both perfectly normal. (And I’m referring to my actual, real life sister and brother-in-law, not just using those terms randomly to make a point).

6. Multiple things can be true at once. El can see the Wheelers as her family, understand that she loves Mike romantically, and know that those are two very different types of love. Despite how some in this fandom like to characterize her, she is fully capable of complex thought and emotional intelligence. In S1, she asked Mike to clarify what their relationship is because she had never been shown love of any kind at that point in her life. What she got from Brenner was obsession, not love, and she never knew her mother. She may have started later than expected when it comes to understanding social cues and the complexities of relationships, but she got the hang of it very quickly and currently has no problem distinguishing between her love for Mike and her love for her friends/family.

(I realize some of these points and explanations seem redundant or repetitive, but it goes to show how insane this opinion is. No matter how many ways you try to explain it, this will never be true.)

All this to say, we need to put this “mileven is incest” argument to bed. Please. It makes no sense, it’s categorically false, and it’s just plain weird. If you don’t like mileven, that’s fine, but there’s no need to paint it as some illegal, immoral monolith to justify this viewpoint. I’ve seen ships between canonical siblings get praised (which is a whole issue in and of itself that I do not have time to get into), and yet this ship between two random teenagers is treated as criminal? No thanks. Mileven would very much like to be excluded from this narrative.

(Finally, if you’re sitting there thinking, “it’s not that deep,” please save it. As you can see, it very much is that deep to me.)

Here’s a happy Mileven gif to bring a little optimism while we wait for S5.

[epiphainie]

Hey, I know you said you don't wanna get into fandom discourse so feel free to ignore this but I wanted to add something to you metioning yesterday how people talk about Bucktommy always bringing in bvddie/eddie somehow. I feel like a lot of people also expect this from canon including Bucktommy fans? like all the posts about which one will feel like the third wheel or which one's gonna get jealous over the other two spending time together and I find that kind of weird. I don't know if I got my point across but you know what I mean?

Hi anon,

Yeah, I think I get what you mean. Gotta say what I saw in my little corner of the BuckTommy fandom, people are usually having fun with those situations/headcanons than actually expecting something out of canon. But I can guess how a certain part of the fandom really thinks how Buck's relationship with Eddie in the context of BuckTommy must be addressed by the show. And I agree with you in that I find this expectation odd because why must they?

Is it because Buck is into men now that his significant other must address how he is/isn't okay with his friendship with another man? This was never an issue or even a topic of conversation in the narrative for Taylor so I cannot think of any other reason for why it would be for Tommy. Or on the flip side, is it because Buck is dating a man now that Eddie will feel like his time with Buck is being limited? Buck has been in a relationship for the most part of their friendship, why would this one be different that the narrative would need to address it?

I think in general in the fandom, regardless of whether people ship them or not, there's this sentiment that Bvddie has such a special relationship that needs to be addressed by their romantic partners / lampshaded by the narrative which strikes me as odd. Not because they don't have a special relationship - they have a very special relationship - but because the perception and related expectations over how the canon should treat this relationship is very different from something like say Hen and Chim. For every very intense Buck and Eddie story beat in this show, you have an equally insane Hen and Chim one. But you don't see anyone reading that relationship as something that needs to be acknowledged (as a threat or something they're okay with) by their spouses. It's an emotionally codependent friendship between a straight man and a lesbian. Not that sexual compatibility matters but they are not interested in each other that way and their partners don't even think about that.

So why would this be any different for Buck (a bi man) and Eddie (a straight man)? Like, even the idea that it must be acknowledged differently by the narrative kinda brings me back to negative stereotypes about queer men and their straight friends even though I know most people don't mean it that way.

Honestly, I kinda think it just comes back to fandoms' urge to read the intensity of relationships as romantic when it comes to two attractive men in a way we don't do with other characters. I say we because I've had my share of fandoms and almost exclusively shipped the two guys who were not canon; we just read more into these relationships regardless of whether we actively ship it or not. Like I said, Hen and Chim have some of the insanest relationship moments in this show. Like, can you imagine if something like Jonah happened to Buck and he thinks he's gonna hurt Tommy to get to him but he actually has Eddie and tortures him in front of Buck? Or if Eddie opposes Buck and Tommy getting married like Hen did with Maddie, for example. They would most certainly be read as romantic even if we had the same textual explanation as we did with Hen and Chim.

But the truth is, there is no relationship hierarchy. Platonic relationships can be as deep as romantic ones, what sets them apart is not the degree to how intense they can be, it's the flavor. And as it stands, I don't think the show treats Buck and Eddie's relationship with any different flavor than it does Hen and Chim despite how we treat it in the fandom. And sure, this does not mean realistically no love interest would be weirded out by their friendship (and negative stereotypes about bi people exist in the lgbtq community as well so that could happen too) but I don't see why the narrative would need to go there with Tommy. Like, what would be the purpose of it in-story? The acknowledgment of it would just further perpetuate the queer man in love with his bff thing that we know they said they don't wanna do. They should (and imo will) treat it as they do treat the other platonic relationships on the show.

I'm sorry, this got derailed at one point but whatever, send.

[junosmindpalace]

suguru really did try to stop him. he outstretched a hand to his chest and told him to mind his business, but once satoru saw a text banner with a guys name he most definitely didn’t recognize appear on your home screen, especially since moments before you left your phone on the table, you were smiling at whatever was on it, his curiosity got the best of him, and not even a firm warning from his moral compass could stop him from simply pushing his weight against it and reaching for your phone.

his friend watched as he sat hovering sideways over your phone, eyebrows knitting together as he read over the text banner.

“marcus.”

suguru sighed and dropped his hand in defeat.

“marcus.” satoru emphasized as if the name was a gross drink, as if the name itself was something to be in disbelief about. “who the hell is marcus?”

of course suguru knew about this marcus, and of course he knew about satoru’s immense crush on you (which he stubbornly refused to admit to). he also knew of satoru’s ability to be a dick, and if he were honest, he was rooting for the two of you just a bit. it was amusing watching two people be so immensely oblivious to their own feelings for one another, yet tease and exchange vulgar language as if you despised each other the most in the world. he was saving him, suguru had thought, from further ruining his chances.

“do we even have a marcus at this school?” satoru whips his head around to look at suguru for some sort of confirmation that there was a reasonable, totally platonic explanation for why you had a guy named marcus saved on your phone that would console him, let alone a name he never heard of, especially if you thought so highly of him as to hardly pull your eyes away from his texts and find them so amusing. this is only for a moment, however, before he turns back and brings the phone closer to his face, scanning the words over and over.

“put the phone down, satoru.” was suguru’s only response, not wanting to give away business that wasn’t his to share. satoru didn’t listen, only inching even closer to the phone until he was sitting up straight.

something about seeing each other at the end of the day, was what the message was referring to, however vague it was to satoru for not being familiar with the entirety of the conversation. he feels his stomach twist up uncomfortably, immensely irritated for reasons he chooses to completely pin on you. you’re always getting under his skin, making his face grow warm, distracting him from his super important missions, making him, “the strongest”, look weak. he’ll choose to pin this annoyed feeling over a text on you, too. it is your phone after all.

he quickly sets it back down on the table and jumps up, pretending to do elsewhat when the door to the classroom swings open again. you make a beeline for your phone, and satoru and suguru both watch as you smile and speedily type something away. sugurus eyes flicker over to satoru with a small smirk as his frown grows deeper on his face.

when you take notice of eyes on you, particularly satoru’s, your smile drops and you raise a brow. “what? something on my face?”

“only one of the corniest grins i’ve ever seen.” satoru rolls his eyes from behind his glasses, turning his gaze away from you. you scowl at him.

“can’t be worse than that ugly frown on your face.”

suguru listens exasperatedly at your bickering, knowing that this would’ve been the outcome if satoru were to learn of this mystery person, and originally doing everything in his power to prevent it. but now the deed was done, and the two of you could only hurl insults at each other until one got fed up.

it seemed that you would be the first to leave today, because after exchanging snarky remarks with satoru, making one final face mimicking his expression annoyedly, you bid suguru a good day and headed out with your bag.

“why do you always need to start something?”

“me?! y/n started it!”

he huffed, digging his chin into the palm of his hand as he fixed the board in front of him with an annoyed glare.

“besides, why the hell would I care about who y/n hangs out with? guy sounds like a loser, anyway.”

suguru could just admit that this marcus fellow satoru was so concerned about was a relative of yours from out of the country who had come to visit, but his jealousy was a lot more amusing, and so he decided to entertain the false idea in his mind just a little by being vague enough to have his mind piece together the most horrifying situation.

“don’t think they’d be hanging out with him if he was.” suguru chuckled, not missing the small twitch in his friend's eyes at the statement.

satoru only amps up in showing off after that. even after mention of “marcus” is long past, there’s a newfound determination fuelling satoru that only suguru has caught on to. he’s as arrogant as ever, continuing to boast his impressive victories and speak with you in your usual colorful language, but he also looks over his shoulder more often to see whether you were in the vicinity watching him fight or when he says something he deems in his mind cool. he stuffs his hands in his pockets and smirks at you through the dark lenses of his glasses, sliding down the bridge of his nose; a look he knows from experience makes people swoon.

suguru can only roll his eyes at his consistent pathetic attempts at becoming number one in your eyes. but even when satoru deflates with a huff and turns away when he thinks you aren’t looking, suguru manages to catch, if just for a brief moment, your own longing gaze before it quickly dissolves. and a new idea forms in his mind; that perhaps you had stepped outside and left your phone up mid conversation on purpose that day, knowing that the notifications coming in would catch your white haired classmates eye.

what a couple of try-hards.