#'do i act like this? has this happened to me? is there a way i'm like this that i didn't realize before? what's a different way of

[morlock-holmes]

The Conspiratorial Mindset

So, I've always had a bit of an interest in scams and hokum, and what people call "Cults".

One of the common refrains when you talk about religious Cults is, "If you think about it all religions have beliefs that seem odd to outsiders" and this is true, but as I read more about cults I started to think,

"Wait, a lot of these groups aren't united just by having unusual religious or supernatural views; a lot of them also seem to have matching patterns of behaviors that have nothing to do with belief in psychic space aliens"

I'm talking about things like,

Having a leadership structure which is absolute, where the top leaders cannot be disciplined or even openly criticized by lower members;

Exerting tremendous control over the dress and behavior of adherents;

Telling adherents that outsiders are untrustworthy and that contact with outsiders should be strictly limited and heavily monitored by organizational leadership;

The extensive and common use of shunning and reprogramming in response to violation of any of the above rules.

In some groups, failing to adhere to the dress code and spending a lot of time with outsiders is, at worst, the subject of a few little jabs at family gatherings. In other groups, those same behaviors are treated as Defcon one crises and become the central issue of the adherent's relationship with everybody else in the organization until they can be bullied back into doing the organization's bidding.

It was gratifying to learn that other people have noticed these patterns (Some people prefer the term "High Control Group" to "Cult" because it highlights what the actual problem is)

I am starting to notice similar dynamics in what are commonly called "Conspiracy theories".

The thing about conspiracy theories is... Well, conspiracies exist, and sometimes groups of powerful people get together to do something in secret which would get them in big trouble if they were to do it openly.

But I am starting to notice a particular, I don't know, a particular way of conceptualizing the organization and purpose of conspiracies which is unique to some people and which characterizes the kind of conspiracy theorist who takes Alex Jones seriously.

I kind of think of it as a "Witch-Hunting mentality".

For certain people in more primitive times and places, if they, say, slipped off a ladder and hurt themselves, their first thought would be, "That must have happened because a witch cursed me. We need to find and punish the witch who cursed me."

And this isn't just the attribution of malice that characterizes this idea:

One malicious conspiracy that might make you fall off a ladder is a manufacturer who doesn't care about safety ratings. Imagine that the manufacturer is really deliberately malicious here. A subordinate comes to him and says, "Our ladders can't reliably hold the weight of a person and a lot of them will probably break and cause people to fall and hurt themselves." and he says, "I know that but who cares, by the time people figure it out it'll be too late to get their money back."

That's a malicious conspiracy, but, importantly, if Bob buys a faulty ladder and falls off, the conspiracy wasn't trying to hurt Bob; it merely didn't care whether Bob got hurt.

Now, this distinction doesn't take away the malice and hostility towards Bob, but if you go to the ladder manufacturer and say, "Hey boss, Bob bought one of our faulty ladders, but he's really skinny so the ladder didn't break" the manufacturer will go, "Who the fuck is Bob? And good, that's one less angry person."

Whereas imagine Bob's ladder has been cursed to break by a witch. The witch did it because she hates Bob, and wants him to fall, and if she finds out he didn't fall, she'll go, "Curses, I'll have to find some other way to hurt Bob."

Conspiracy theorists, it seems to me, are far more inclined to conceptualize conspiracies as acts of deliberate malice aimed at them rather than acts of negligent malice.

@loving-n0t-heyting posted this article from the New York Post which contains a good example of what I mean:

“I thought I was on the cutting edge of promoting rights for gay people,” Yang said. “But then I started looking deeper into where this was coming from and who was paying for it, and I started to get very disillusioned...

I assume the people paying for it are LGBT advocacy groups? Did you, uh, not know that the people you were working for were paying you to work for them?

“When you really dig down you can see how much of this comes from documents and plans at the United Nations,” Yang said, referring in part to the UN’s “Gender Equality” initiative. “It’s part of a global agenda to restructure society, re-structure our social norms and the economy,” Yang claimed. “They are undermining the sexually dimorphic nature of reality and breaking down the differences between the sexes to break down our identity. They are constructing identities for us and they want us to adopt them.”

Oh, I see.

This is exactly what I mean. LGBT rights efforts make Yang and others feel disoriented, like society is being restructured and that they are being left behind, like they aren't quite in control of social norms and that stable identity categories can't be relied on anymore.

Now, one kind of conservative might look at that and say, "These are bad second order effects of LGBT people trying to assert their lifestyle in public and that's why we should oppose them."

But another kind says, "These changes make me feel unstable. Therefore, the main purpose of the changes is to make me feel unstable. In order to understand these changes, I need to figure out who wants me to feel unstable and what they would gain from making me feel unstable."

The idea that Yang's feeling of instability is simply a side effect of a series of efforts mainly focused on LGBT rights is incomprehensible. Instead, she believes that there is a series of efforts focused mainly on making her feel unstable, with LGBT rights as a kind of side effect to the main goal of making her feel unstable.

This kind of thing is, to me, a big red flag that indicates that we are starting to float away from reasonable conspiracy thinking into crazy town.

I am particularly curious if folks can recommend any writers or researchers who have noticed this dynamic.

[raya-hunter01]

The Christmas Present

One-shot

PAIRING:  Roman reigns x OC Starr

Word Count: 5,832

Warning: Smut

What do you do when your bestfriend you've known all of your life tells you he wants to unwrap you for christmas and you've always wanted him to be your first?

Sorry this one was late, it was requested months ago and i'm finally working through requests in my inbox. Happy New Year everyone

As I made my way inside, I felt somewhat out of place as it seemed I had walked into a tense situation as Jey guided me further into the house. I already was two hours late because I had to help my mom wrap some gifts for my niece.

“Jey, who was that yelling before you opened the door?” I asked. “Just Sarah acting a damn fool,” he said continuing to guide me through the beautiful two-story home.

“Wait…Sarah, as in Roman’s cheating ass ex…Roman told me she was history.”

“Oh, she is…..Has been for about months but won’t take the hint.”

 Everything seemed calmer now that I was inside, as Christmas music filled the room, and everyone seemed to be in their own world.

Seeing a few familiar faces, I waved but stayed close to Jey as my eyes scanned the room finally spotting Roman and Sarah talking in the corner.

His stoic expression and powerful stance made many nervous but not me. I could tell he wasn’t pleased she had crashed his party but was trying to be respectful.

“How is he really doing, Jey?” I asked as he sighed looking at his cousin shaking his head. “He’s on edge you know, especially with the back-to-back losses. Big Uce, is getting better though.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t make Alfa’s funeral; I wanted to be there.” I said looking at my best friend really taking him in. He looked so tired, his beautiful beard more full and now had spots of gray.

“Starr, stop that…..You came home to be with us for Uncle Sika’s funeral, stood in the gap for me and was there for big Uce.”

“Hey, that’s what family does,” I assured him giving him a hug.

“I’m glad you home, we be worried about you.” he whispered as I caressed his back.

“I’m fine, besides I didn’t re-enlist this time, twenty years in the Airforce is enough,” I said as Jey held me tighter.

“I am so happy for you…I know he's gon’ be happy you back home. I mean it is for good right?”

“Yea, I’m home for good.”

“Good, cause that beautiful house you bought deserves to be lived in.”

“I know and thank ya’ll for helping mama keep it up for me.”

“You know dat wasn’t a problem. We were just worried about you all the way over in Italy by yourself.”

“I know but at least I’m home now.”

I knew how much they worried about me, but I was so thankful they supported my decisions. We had all been inseparable since the age of five, so it was a big change when we all graduated, and all went our separate ways.

The twins and Roman went off to college and I went into the Airforce following in my father’s footsteps. What can I say, we were some ambitious young people with the world at our fingertips.

“Booger we missed you!” Jimmy yelled, pulling me out of Jey’s arms scooping me up in a hug bear hug as I rolled my eyes.

“Ugh get off me, you just always have to bring up that mean ass nickname,” I hissed as he put me down laughing.

“Ignore him, you know he’s special,” Trin jokes slapping him on the shoulder as Jey cleared his throat trying to stop laughing.

“Aye, it ain’t my fault she kept a booger nose when we were kids.”

“Just like it ain’t my fault your bed stayed pissy when we were kids,” I countered as Jey and Trin busted out laughing.

“Daaaammmn! She got yo’ ass.” Jey laughed as Trin, and I embraced.

Our banter cut short as we heard Roman raising his voice. “Look just leave, Sarah!”

“I ain’t leaving without you! We can work this out!” she screamed as I looked at Trin and she shook her head as Jey’s wife Candice came over.

“Can you believe this shit?” she asked as Jey pulled her close and kissed her on the temple.  “Bae, let it go.”

“I mean how you cheat on somebody and now you here begging like ain’t shit happened?” Trin asked as I shook my head as Jimmy tapped me on the shoulder gently.

“What do you have in mind, sis. I see you thinking over there?”

“I’m gonna get Roman outta here, maybe have him take me home so he can get a break,” I said looking at my watch realizing it was close to 11 :00 anyway.

“You do that, and we will get her outta here, then shut down the party and lock up,” Trin said as I left them heading towards the ex-couple.

The look of happiness on Roman’s face when he spotted me made me smile as he ignored Sarah, scooping me up in his arms as soon as I was within arm’s reach.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming home,” he whispered in my ear as I chuckled. “What’s the fun in that, now come take me home..I want to give you your Christmas present” I whispered feeling the tension leaving his body.

“Shit, I been ready for that.…let’s go, you ain't gotta tell me twice,” Roman said ignoring Sarah putting me down as Jey tapped her on the shoulder.

“Aye, time to go shawty, party is over for you,” he said as she scoffed.

“Wait, so you gon’ throw me out Jey and you leavin’ with her Roman!? Roman…Roman come back!” she screamed as Roman, and I headed towards the backdoor.

---

Roman’s POV

I looked back just in time to see Trin grabbing Sarah by the arm leading her out of the living room. Something tells me that I wouldn’t have a problem with Sarah after tonight by the look on Trin and Candice’s face.

 They both had been looking for a reason to beat her ass since they found out she had cheated on me and was still sniffing around.

I was anxious to be alone with Starr. The last time we were alone we almost crossed a line, there was no coming back from, but we stopped ourselves.

As I helped her in the car, I really didn’t even know how to approach the elephant in the room. Closing her door, I gave myself a pep talk as I walked around to the driver’s side.

“Don’t fuck this up, just be in the moment with her.” If it happens, it happens. If it does or doesn’t nothing changes between ya’ll.”

Four months ago

“Roman we got to stop,” Starr panted as I kissed her neck, my hands roaming her body.

“Why..This what we both want,” I moaned pulling her closer wrapping her legs around my waist grinding against her as she gasped in shock.

“I do but You’ve been drinking, and so much is going on. You’re not thinking clearly.”

“Oh, so now it’s something wrong with me because I want to make love to you. You told me, you wanted me to be your first, remember.” I said throwing back a conversation we had months prior.

“Roman, I do but you know right now isn’t the right time. Roman, stop you’re drunk and this isn’t you,” Starr moaned finally pushing me away as I held my hands up in the air in surrender.

She was right.. I didn’t know what had come over me, maybe it was the alcohol and everything that had happened.

“Look, I’m sorry… I’ll just crash in the other room,” I whispered grabbing my shirt not wanting to make the night worse.

“Roman, I want us to ta-”-

“Talk? Is that what you were about to say? Well, I’m tired of talking to people.. I just- I just wanted…. Look forget it, this was obviously a mistake coming here, so I’mma crash in your spare bedroom.”

“Roman, we gotta talk about what all this means, you can’t just turn off your emotions. You got to talk about it,” Starr pleaded as I shut down.

“Look, I buried my dad a few days ago…Things will never be the same for me ever again and I just wanted to be close to you.  I thought you felt the same, and I just made an ass outta myself. What else is there to talk about.”

“I do want - I-I-just not like this, please-”

“Starr, I’ll catch you in the morning before I head out,” I said leaning over kissing her tenderly on the forehead before leaving the room ignoring her pleas for me to stay.

I made a total mess of things that night, but Starr never judged me. We went about things as usual and had never discussed that night. Two weeks ago on the phone she asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I laid it all out on the table.

“I sent your present off today; I hope you like it since you wouldn’t cooperate and give me some idea of what you wanted for Christmas.”

“You ain’t ready to know what I really want for Christmas, especially since you’ve been all I’ve been thinking about for the last four months.”

 “I've been thinking about you too. I wish I could be there in person but I’m still waiting to find out if they approved my leave or not,” Starr said moving around her kitchen as watched her every move.

“ You know what i really want for christmas....

"What?"

"I just want to unwrap you and get lost in you.".

"Roman."

"Aye, you asked and I told you . The shocked look on her face making me shrug my shoulders. Hell I ain’t have nothing to lose at this point. One thing my father's passing taught me was that life was too short, and i'm gonna go after what I want...And I wanted Starr.

“Roman, stop playin’ with me.” Starr stuttered nervously as I chuckled.

“I’m serious, you asked me what I wanted for Christmas.”

“Well, I wasn’t expecting you to tell me that you wanted me as a Christmas present.”

“Even if it’s only one night I can’t imagine a better gift than to get lost in you.”

“Roman-”

"Beautiful tree, fireplace, and you under me writhing in pleasure as I take you to heights you couldn’t dream of,” I groaned hearing her gasp.

“You’re not playing fair, this is dangerous,” she whispered as I smiled.

“I love danger,” I said dropping my voice an octave deeper knowing it was driving her crazy. I knew it was because I knew my Starr.

“Ro-”

“Tell me you ain’t curious, especially after what happened that night? Look just think on it.”  

Man, I still can’t believe I said but it got us here..Well at least I hope. Listening to her hum along with the Christmas songs on the radio brought me out of my thoughts.

“I-I-I don’t want a lot for Christmas,” she sang softly as I felt my heart flutter.

“Alright Miarah Carey,” I joked as she blushed. “Don’t do me, I can carry a little tune.”

“Yea, you can which is why I just let you do your thing,” I said pulling into her garage.

“Oh, you pulling in the garage like you know you staying,” she joked getting out the car as I felt my dick jump in my pants.

“I wouldn’t be against it,” I mumbled getting out following her close. Her phone ringing almost startled her as she sighed picking up.

“Ma’ I just made it home,” she said putting the phone on speaker walking around cutting the lights off downstairs as I unplugged the tree.

“Damn, you meant you weren’t staying long when you said it, huh? Did you get to see everyone?”

I smiled hearing her mom giving her the fifth degree as Starr shook her head.

“Yes, I saw everyone Ma… The guys are fine, matter fact Roman just dropped me off,” Starr said putting her finger over her lips as I chuckled following her upstairs.

“Mama, I’m about to go to bed and I will be over before Riely gets up.”   

As soon as the door closed, I closed the distance between us wrapping my arms around her trying to ease her nerves. “Relax….I gotchu,” I assured her as she blushed.

 I mean it’s one thing to talk on the phone and talk about what you want to do, but to actually do it is another thing. I knew as bad as I wanted to be with her, if she said no I wouldn’t push the issue.

“Roman are we really about to do this,” she whispered looking at me in wonder as I gently kissed her on the forehead.

“Only if you want..I don’t want you to do something you don’t want,” I confessed truly giving her an out even though inside I was pleading with the gods that she wanted me just as much as I wanted her.

The thought of being the first man to make love to her stirring something primal within me.

“Make yourself comfortable. I got to get outta this dress,” she whispered putting her phone down heading into her master bath putting any questions I had to rest.

“Take all the time you need.”  Heading over to the fireplace, I took my coat off. The beautiful vintage Christmas tree illuminating her bedroom. The ice sickles hanging from the tree with the old school Christmas lights and ornaments were a beautiful touch.  

Starr’s POV

“Ok….Just calm down. This is Roman not some stranger. You’ve wanted this since you were fifteen,” I whispered trying to build up my courage, pulling my dress off and jumping in the shower.

What if I disappoint him…..Fuck, what if he disappoints me?

Who the fuck am I fooling, Roman knows what he’s doing. I’ve seen this man and the shit he does when he’s on TV. What if I get addicted to him, I mean it’s supposed to be one time right?

 My mind instantly thinking back to Sarah, even though she cheated, Roman still has her ass sprung…. Getting out of the shower I was still trying to make heads or tails of the situation I found myself in.

“You ok in there Starr?” Roman's deep voice penetrated the walls as my thighs clenched thinking about him penetrating something else. That damn voice.....Gives me chills...Oouu, I wonder does he talk you through it?

Damn, I’m officially in my brain and nervous as shit now.

“I’m ok, just got out the shower, I’ll be out in a minute,” I said drying off as I heard him move away from the door. Get it together Starr, you a grown ass woman and this is what you both want..Stop making it complicated."

Who am I kidding, it is complicated…I love him…I’ve loved him since high school…”Yea, this is a bad idea,” whined quietly before taking a deep breath up because even if it was a bad idea, there was no turning back now.

After putting on some lotion I tied one of the red satin Christmas bow sashes I had ordered around my breasts and another around my hips. Yea, I wanted him to get the full picture of unwrapping me from top to bottom.

Slipping on my robe I came out to see him sitting on the edge of the bed admiring the tree.  “I turned on the fireplace.”

“Um, thanks. The bathrooms all yours.” I almost forgot to breathe as he stood up and took his shirt off.

“Thanks, beautiful. I promise I won’t take long,” he said dropping a tender kiss on my forehead before going in the bathroom. I finally released the breath I was holding when he closed the door, and I heard the shower start.

Taking off my robe, I turned the covers down. “It’s a night of fun…Just enjoy, don’t think.” I kept repeating to myself over and over as I laid on my side and faced the bathroom patiently waiting for Roman…I mean good things do come to those that wait.

Hearing the water cut off, I sat up on my knees anxiously waiting for him. A newfound confidence took over me as the door opened and I heard his sharp intake of breath as he stood there clad in only a towel. His body still glistening, and hair wet.

“Damn, you look so beautiful,” he whispered licking his lips as I bit my lower lip nervously.

“Merry Christmas,” I whispered reaching my hand out to him as he slowly made his way towards me dropping his towel.

Oh…My…God..He is a Greek God…Keep your cool Starr.

“Are you sure?” he asked his voice thick with need as I blushed only pulling him closer truly taking in all of him for the first time.

“I don’t want you to fe”-

Grasping his hands I placed them on the satin bow, my eyes never leaving his. “I want this, and I want it to be you.”

I couldn’t help but moan as I watched him through hooded eyes. “Just let me know if you want me to stop,” he whispered, our lips finally touching and like a moth to a flame I surrendered. The unbridled passion behind it taking my breath away.

“Unwrap your Christmas gift, Roman,” I whispered as his hands touched the satin red bow, a low groan escaping his lips as his eyes trailed over my body.

The fact he was so turned on and unsure where to start made my heart race. The sexy deep groan his that spilled from his lips as my hips moved against him made my pussy purr in need.

“Shit, you look so beautiful like this…Anxious to give yourself to me.”

His voice…Oh my god his voice.

“Please, Roman,” I pleaded as he licked his lips. “Can I unwrap my Christmas present,” he murmured as I nodded anxiously.

“Use your words… Can I have my Christmas present now?”

“Yes, you can,” I gasped as he finally untied the sash. Leaning down, his mouth enclosing around my breasts, taking his time exploring each one as I squirmed beneath him ready to come undone from the sensual action as his eyes never left mine.

“Mmhm, I knew you were sensitive. Bet you so wet,” he rasped. Moaning softly, I entangled my fingers in his hair as he feasted upon my breasts seemingly determined to stay there having discovered how sensitive I was.

“Roman, I need it,” I pleaded. His hands cupping my breasts kneading them together as he took both nipples in his mouth devouring them as if they were his last supper. His gaze still piercing my soul.

“Fuck, just thinkin’ bout you, got me bout to cum?” he mumbled as his mouth continued to ignite a deep fire within me as his kisses move passed me stomach, his tongue swirling, then dipping inside my navel.

“Go lower, please.”

“You taste so good, baby.” He praised, as I writhed beneath him. Hand hands masterfully untying the second red satin bow leaving me now fully exposed.

“Merry Christmas to me,” I faintly heard him whisper, the first stroke of his long tongue against my pussy almost making me cum as I gasped looking down at him in shock.

“Roman!” Shit he’s dangerous, that was just one stroke. Watching him flatten his tongue, with each long stroke I became more undone.

 “Umhm, it’s Roman and I’mma bout to make you cum all night. Now hold dem legs for me,” he commanded bending them towards my chest as I compiled.

Roman’s POV

The quiver in her legs and pleasure etched across her face as I made love to Starr with my tongue will the imprinted in my mind forever.

The strangled whine that escaped her beautiful lips as I began thrusting my third and forefinger along with my tongue continuously stroking her, ignited a deeper purpose within me….

To blow her fucking mind… For her to feel what it was like to be with me…Hell, to ruin her for every man after me that would even dare try to have her writhing under them in pleasure.

“You gon’ cum sweetness?” Yea, that’s her new nickname from now on..Pussy sweet like honey.

“Yes, I’mma cum…. Ooouu, right there..Right there….Fuck, just like that, Roman, don’t stop,” Starr cried as my fingers and tongue moved in sync determined to make her cum harder than she ever has.

“Yes! Oh, fuck Roman!” Starr screamed, her legs falling onto my shoulders as her back arched in pleasure satisfying my thirst for the moment.

Fuck, I love a good squirter… “Good fuckin’ girl,” I praised, removing my fingers, grasping her hips, wanting more…I needed more.

“Roman!” Starr squealed as I flipped her over onto her knees spreading her legs slightly.

“What are y-”

The words dying across her tantalizing lips as I laid between her legs on my back straight Salivating at the sight of her dripping pussy above me. “I want you to sit on my face and I want you to nut like you ain’t never nutted before,” I commanded as she looked apprehensive.

“Roman, I’m too bi-”

Not giving her a chance to finish her that thought I pulled her onto my face moaning in appreciation as she began to wind her hips slowly.

“Is this what you wanted?” she gasped, planting her hands on my stomach beginning to ride my face with more confidence, chasing the nut she craved.

“Fuck yea, this what I wanted.” I moaned against her pussy smackin’ her ass before getting back to business.

Starr’s POV

The feral growl that fell from Roman’s lips as I rode his face sent chills down my spine. His beard, mouth and tongue all together were kryptonite.

His dick standing at attention, glistening with precum and begging to be sucked wasn’t helping my thoughts either. It was too tempting; I needed to taste him.

Moaning, I leaned down licking the sensitive mushroom shaped head as Roman hissed tearing his mouth away from my pussy.

“Gon’ put it in your mouth, Starr. Don’t be scared, suckdat dick.” His words making my body tingle in excitement as he continued his assault on my pussy with his masterful tongue.

I wanted to see how much of him I could take in my mouth and with each strategic bobbly of my head, I took him deeper as Roman nearly bucked me off his face…

Got’em….I may be a virgin, but I got some secrets myself.

 “Fuck, that’s how you get down?” he groaned momentarily stopping his assault.

 “Mmhm, surprise,” I whispered after coming up for air briefly before getting back to the task at hand as he growled, “Fuck," before diving back in himself as our moans filling the air.

Suddenly I began to feel that familiar coil gathering in my stomach, my body tingling all over. Releasing his dick from my mouth, I sat up and began riding his face with a purpose.

“Yea, take whatchu want from me, sweetness,” he moaned gripping my hips, moving me faster as my legs began to shake reducing me to a chanting mess..

“Oouu, Roman- Yesyesyes,” I moaned stroking him faster in sync with my hips.  His beard, mouth and tongue had me on demon time and he knew it.

 “Give it to me,” Roman growled as I came undone. “Roman! Fuck..f-f-fuck here it comes,” I cried at my body exploded coating his face with my juices as he happily and greedily drank. 

“Mmhm, I love that shit, tastin’ so fuckin’ sweet…. Sweetness gon’ be your new nickname, baby girl.” I heard him whisper between slurps as I indeed had cum harder than I ever had before, still continuing to stroke him riding out my high.

I was euphorically drunk on him, but I wanted him to feel just as good as he had made me feel. Catching my breath, I leaned down taking him once again in my mouth.

“Fuck, I don’t wanna cum yet,” Roman groaned as I turned, kneeling between his legs.

Oh sir, you put that mouth on me like that…You about to get this nut…..Period.

Steadying my hands on his welcoming thighs as I tended to the task at hand,innocently staring up at him. “Yea….Take it all for me..Fuck that feels so good. You’re such a good girl.”

Humming in agreement, I refused to stop sucking him tortuously slowly and deeply as he gripped my hair.

“Suck dat shit, girl…..Damn.” Roman groaned bending his knees, planting his heels, accepting his fate.

“Fuck, here it cum, just for you, sweetness,” he growled cummin' hard.

 I almost came myself watching him. As long as I live, I will remember the look on his face. Cracking a small smile, I opened my mouth for him to see his cum coating my tongue as he bit his lower lip.

“Mmm, does my sweetness spits or swallows?” Roman asked, his deep voice making my pussy drip as he caressed my face, desperate to know my answer to his question. 

“Who says I can’t do both,” I whispered, letting his cum spill from my lips onto his dick as it jumped in response.

“Mmm, my good girl," he whispered watching through hooded eyes.

“Oops I made a mess…..Let me clean up behind myself,” I mumbled once again taking him in my mouth greedily sopping his cum back into my mouth and swallowing it.

“Fuck!” He moaned, his resolve crumbling in a heap. “I’mma fuck da shit outta you,” he professed taking me in a searing kiss that left me breathless and on my back at the foot of the bed before I could blink.

My senses on overloaded as his hands roamed my body “Please, Roman, I need you so bad,” I pleaded as we both looked down at our bodies about to become one as he slipped past my wet folds.

“You sure baby,” he whispered as I nodded pulling him closer. Both of us lost in the moment as he slowly rocked his hips. Suddenly feeling pop and burst of pain.

“UMPH!” I cried, clinging to Roman as he looked at me with indescribable passion in his eyes as we shared a tender kiss.

“Look at my good girl learning how to take my big dick. You doin’ so fuckin’ good,” he moaned grasping my thighs continuing to slowly slip inside deeper inside me.

“Roman, I-I,” I whined, overwhelmed as he caressed my face. His body trembling against mine as he’s fighting an internal battle within himself to take it slow and not lose all control.

 “Mmm, I know it…I know it baby.. God, thank you so much for choosing me,” he whispered showering me with kisses as I relaxed against him.

“I wanted you to be my first,” I gasped, starting to somewhat relax in spite of the pain. “Yea, that’s it, relax beautiful….Your Ro Ro's gotchu,” he whispered, filling me more and more with each thrust of his hips as I tried to breathe through the pain.

“Ro! It’s too much,” I cried pushing at his stomach as he went deeper kissing away my tears. “I know it seems that way baby, but I’m almost in. I promise it’s gon’ feel so good, move your hands.”

“Ro-”

“You trust me?” he asked gently kissing my forhead as I nodded “Then mov’em for me.”

I complied and with a snap of his hips, he bottomed out as I clawed at his back. “Roman! I feel so full, I – I can’t,” I gasps as Roman captured my lips in a passionate kiss.

“Yes, you can..Breathe….Just breathe sweetness,” he whispered against my lips surging forward, my pain suddenly becoming something more with each powerful thrust….

 “Roman, faster,” I pleaded wrapping my legs around him. “Yea…..There she go, there’s my good girl,” he moaned as my hips moved against him. “You feel so good,” I cried as Roman buried his head in the crook of my neck.

“Fuck, I can’t wait to cum inside you, you feel so good… You gon’ let me cum inside you, baby?”

“Bear, please-”

“Answer me, Starr?” he groaned, even more turned on as my other pet name for him escaped my lips.

"God, yes!"

 “Uh huh, you gon’ let your bear fill you up, I promise it’ll feel so good,” he rasped marking my neck as I clawed at his lower back and nipping at his shoulder as he properly dicked me down.

“Fuck I want to cum inside you so bad..Tell me I can again," he moaned angling his hips taking me by surprise.

“Yes, I want you to cum inside me,” I screamed, the new position and thrusts sending chills down my spine, making my toes curl.  Lifting one of my legs in the air with a firm grip on my heel Roman continued to rearrange my insides, lifting his head slightly to watch me.

Roman’s POV

“You’re such a good girl, Starr… Savin’ this good ass pussy just for me, and you gon’ let me cum inside her. Just my good girl, ain’t you?”

“Mmhm, only your good girl,” she moaned, her words filling my heart with relief and love.

“Only my good girl…..Damn, I love how dat pussy creamin’ listen to that shit, she just purrin’ ready to squirt for me again.”

The squelching sounds, as I claimed her, along with our bodies colliding, filled the room. A blush suddenly crept onto Starr’s face as she listened and tried to bury her face in my neck as I praised her.

“I been waitin’ for this Starr…Let me see you, beautiful,” I moaned willing her eyes to mine as I bit my lip in anticipation and appreciation. Fuck, she looked and felt so good, I want to keep her this way forever. Up under me begging me to make dat pretty pussy cum again and again… Merry Christmas to me, indeed.

Fuck, why we waited so long to do this. And the fact that I am the first man to ever be be inside her makes my dick get even harder and I didn’t think that was possible.

She just doesn’t know what she’s done, we’re tied together forever now.

Starr’s POV

“I’m ruinin’ you for any man thinking he can have you cause’ he can’t.” Roman growled as our lips met in a sloppy kiss as our tongues battled for dominance with me finally surrendering in the end to his power.

“Dat pussy jus pulsin’ for me and suckin’ my dick back in, get it baby. Get dat nut...Sweet ass pussy, just coatin’ my dick,” he moaned, as I began to lose my grip on reality.

 His words, his nasty words making me wetter as I writhed under him searching for my next release. “I know what you need…My sweet Starr needs to cum, don’t she?”

“Yes, I need it, Roman,” I begged as he bit his lower lip. His hair framing his beautiful face, looking like a real-life romance novel cover coming to life as he continued his delicious torture as I pulsed around him, helpless as he continuously brought me to the edge to only to pull back.

“Please let me cum,” I whined as his other hand went under my arm gripping my shoulder trapping me as he began to thrust harder and faster.

 “You ready baby?”

“Yes!.... I-I’m close!”

“I gotchu, just let it go, baby,” he encouraged in my ear releasing my leg and moving his hand between my thighs, stroking my sensitive throbbing clit, as his lips swallowed my cries of passion.

 Feeling bold, I reached down and placed my hand on top of his moving his fingers faster against my clit as he growled feeling the spasms taking over my body.

 We couldn’t stop; it was too hypnotizing as we both looked down watching his dick sink deeper and deeper inside me. “Cum for me, let it out Starr. Stop fighting it.”

“Mmh, here it comes…. Just for you,” I gasped beginning to squirt.

“Fuck yea..Squirt for bear,” Roman moaned pulling out, slapping his dick on my pussy before thrusting back in, taking me hard, fast and deep.

“Shit! I- I-” I cried out losing my train of thought gripping his ass, totally fucked out as I came undone again for him.

“Oh, fuck yea, give me it all…. Fuck, here it cum, just for you,” He groaned cummin’ in a violent rush, grinding his hips into mine, bowing his back prolonging our euphoria before collapsing beside me.

His breathing ragged as I my body continued to spasm in the aftermath.

“Fuck, you are dangerous, Starr,” Roman chuckled as I looked at him like he was crazy.

“No, your ass is dangerous,” I whispered blushing as we shared a gentle kiss, trying to come back down to earth.

“Thank you for tonight.” I whispered against his lips as he shook his head.

“No, thank you for choosing me.” And in that moment no other words were spoken i as we just wrapped ourselves up in each other and were just were us.

A little while later, Roman ran a bath and helped me clean-up, which I have to say was the most erotic thing I had ever experienced.  He washed me from head to toe, taking his time kissing and caressing my body.

This didn’t seem or feel like a one-time thing, but I was scared to ask, and I didn’t want to make it weird.

 “You know I could have done this myself?” I whispered enjoying soaking in the warm water as he kissed my neck. “Not when you’re with me you won’t,” he said as I smiled. “Are you sore?”

“A little but the warm water is helping,” I said reassuring him I was ok. His alarm going off made us both sigh. “Santa duties are calling mister Reigns. You know if Uncle Roman doesn' have that barbie dream house  put together and waiting in front of the tree for Harmony it’s gonna be hell to pay.”

Every year, Roman goes over to his sister’s after the kids fall asleep to help put out their gifts and put their toys together. It's a tradition for them every Christmas and birthday.

“I know, but I hate to leave. I don’t want it to seem-”

“Roman, it’s ok I’m fine, I’ll see you later on today.” I wanted him to stay but I knew he needed to go. After sharing a gentle kiss, he stood up to leave.

“You sure you good,” he asked, stopping by the door.

“I’m good Roman, give Savannah and the kids my love.”

He seemed so torn about leaving, so I gave him a small smile. “Merry Christmas, bear,” I whispered as he smirked. It was almost as if he was remembering what had transpired tonight.

“Merry Christmas, Sweetness.”

“Roman!” I blushed as he shrugged his shoulders. “I told you that was gon’ be your new nickname from now on and I meant it.

“Don’t say it around people,” I hissed as he smiled. “Why not, only you and me will know what it means?”

“I know you…You’re gonna say it in a flirty way and Jey's gonna figure it out and run it in the ground.”

“So, what-”

“Roman!”

“Fine, I’ll try but I ain’t making no promises but seriously thank you for my Christmas present, sweetness.

“You’re welcome and thank you for um...”

“You don’t have to say anything baby girl…Just know this ain’t over between us, cause’ I’ll have you know; you were the best I’ve ever had, and I don’t plan on letting you go.” And with a deep groan, he left the room before I could respond.

“Well i guess there is my answer……Merry Christmas indeed Mr. Reigns, because I’m not letting you go either.”

Taglist:

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[luguangssandwich]

I'm rlly tired rn so idk if any of this will make sense but I've done some sleuthing and rewatched the episode, now with the highly likely chance that Cheng Xiaoshi has dived back too. Hear me out:

Xiaoshi definitely did dive, and I think it started from the moment we saw his face in black and white at 4:59 PM:

And I think he stays until the Vivian arc fades out after they ran away (that was at 3:45 AM according to the clock in the room) I think he left as soon as they were safe and before the 12 hour limit passed. After that, he is back to the same, more naive and youthful person (who doesn't know about Lu Guang's powers) we have seen before the above. Everything he does in between those 12 hours is completely in line with his late S1 and S2 behaviour, I found it extremely uncanny and interesting to watch with this in mind!

Other bits that I found particularly interesting was the conversation after he pulled Lu Guang back to the studio. Qiao Ling asks what they should have for dinner and Cheng Xiaoshi suggests hot pot. We know this is his signature food, but I found Qiao Ling's response odd, because in the original Chinese subtitles she asks him if he's sick, because nobody eats hot pot during such a hot day. It felt odd because she made it seem out of character for him?

There's also CXS bossing Lu Guang around - at this point in time they know each other for a very brief amount of time, but the way he asks all these things of him feels like a future timeline in which they've already gotten extremely used and comfortable as partners and living together.

With this in mind, calling him "Guangguang" doesn't feel like it came out of nowhere anymore.

A few other pieces of dialogue I found extremely sus:

Even Lu Guang is surprised by his out of character behaviour at this point (but also vice versa!).

Now, the way he behaves during the date - I wouldn't say it's completely out of character for a future CXS to act out of his own wits. I don't think this guy's been on a single date in his life lol of course he would freak the hell out in such a situation, during previous dives he at least had the safety of possessing someone else. His empathy never fails so he tries to be kind and guide Vivian home, something a future Cheng Xiaoshi would do as well.

But what REALLY tipped me off is that there is no way a non-possessed CXS would've known that LG would know where he is at this moment in time, because he wasn't told until after this scene that he took a photo. I don't think the Vivian arc happened before (and it's possible it was triggered directly by the changed node when CXS dragged LG back to the studio). Cheng Xiaoshi had no idea Lu Guang would ACTUALLY SHOW UP IN PERSON tho (my guy at this point are u actually even surprised?) and probably just thought he'd call the cops, seeing how surprised he was at Lu Guang's appearance.

I'm gonna post the screenshot of Cheng Xiaoshi with golden eyes again because it really baffles my mind.

I don't know if any of this makes sense and I'd love to hear your thoughts!!

[fireheartedpup]

I still think this is funny and a step up from what we have now, but I feel I would be remiss to not mention that Denmark actually has a problem with abusing the native Inuit population.

In particular, they like to take children away from their families, because they often conclude that Inuit caretakers are unfit.

It still feels like a step up because we have very similar issues in the US, but at least we have the Indian Welfare Act.

If this were to actually happen, we would probably face issues with addressing the Greenland government that are similar to what Puerto Rico is facing with the US now.

The reality is that a lot of USians would bristle at the thought of being owned by another country. It would cause a lot of political tension that we don't need to add to this trash fire.

I attended a zoom meeting shortly after the election, and the main point was this: we need to organize. We need to work together. We need to make plans so that fascism, at the very least, will have a hard fight ahead of it.

Find local organizations if you can. Here's a general one that can offer some tips and tricks.

We need to work to build a country where being bought by another one isn't appealing anymore. I don't know if it's going to happen in my lifetime. But we can at least lay the foundation.

I don't really regret making a joke. I'm kind of emotionally detached from the situation. I don't feel much about certain things anymore because I've become deadened to this sort of thing happening over and over, and the possibility of Denmark buying the US doesn't feel real to me.

But we do still need to support natives, in whatever way we can.

I didn't know about the Inuit issues at the time of my earlier comment, but it's not surprising to me. It's just colonization as usual.

[marsbutterfly]

MECHANIC BADDIE HANJI WHO FIXES UP READERS CAR. SHES ALL LIKE I CAN TAKE CARE OF IT DARLING. YOU JUST SIT THERE AND LOOK PRETTY. (IDK SHIT ABOUT CARS) JUST NEED AN ACTS OF SERVICE HANJI

I'll Fix It All

a/n: omg happy new year!! this turned out way longer than I originally intended for it to be. i was hoping to post it before the year turned but i'll also accept the first day of the year lol. enjoy.

warnings: fem!reader (she/her), nb! hanji zoe (they/them), modern au, anxiety, panic attacks, kissing, fluff, comfort. also like, i don't know much about cars or car repair so pls bear with me. tagging: @wizzy21 wc: 2.5k | wattpad! | ao3!

"No, no, no, no, NO!" You cry out as your car slowly begins to lose speed. This isn't the first time this week, nor the second, nor the third. You couldn't even count on one hand the amount of times the engine had been making that weird noise and the light had been blinking at you like a malevolent eye.

But you thought you could put it off, that you could easily ignore it, and that it would fix itself like it had many times before. Maybe you just needed to check the coolant or add some more water to the radiator, except you continuously forgot to do so. And it finally came back to bite you in the ass.

As the smoke comes out of the hood, you grip the steering wheel tightly, a loud grunt escaping your lips as your forehead presses against the horn, the loud noise filling the air all around you. Still, you are lucky enough to be in a somewhat empty area so the least amount of people will be disturbed.

Your first instinct is to panic. You can feel the blood rushing through your body, your face getting warmer as a few tears begin to prickle in your eyes. You let out a shaky exhale, cursing yourself for allowing this situation to happen in the first place. Before you can even begin to cry, you feel your phone vibrating in the cup holder next to you, the caller's name showing up on the screen attached to the dashboard. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ‎‎‎"Sunshine ☼"

With a sniffle, you wipe the tears before they even have the chance to roll down your cheeks and pick up your phone, pressing the green button on the screen as you try your best to sound like you are composed and not entirely freaking out at the moment.

"Hello, my most beloved," you say, trying your best to sound like your playful self. Though it has no sound, you can almost hear the smile dropping off Hanji's face. It was not out of the ordinary for them to quickly pick up on the slightest change in your tone of voice.

"What happened?" They ask without missing a beat, the tone of their voice filled with love and concern, almost as if they were already expecting you to be in some sort of distress. "I was doing the dishes and accidentally broke a glass because I got such a bad feeling that my hand started shaking."

You sniffle but a small giggle exits your chest, the idea that the two of you are so intertwined that they can even sense when you are in some sort of distress, "Yeah, I'm fine… My car just finally gave out on me and I'm in the middle of a random neighborhood because I decided today, out of all days, to take a random shortcut!"

"Send me your location, and I'll get my tools and meet you over there," they say and you can already hear them moving around on the other end of the line. You wish you could protest but, the more you look at your car, the more panic fills your body. So you simply let out a quiet "okay" before hanging up.

Though your hands nervously shake, you can open your text messages and send Hanji a pin of your exact location. It isn't too far from your house, maybe five minutes if you speed up, and that knowledge only adds more fuel to your frustration. "Why now? I could have easily pulled into my driveway before you gave out!" You can't help the angry grunt that leaves your throat as you slam your hand against the steering wheel.

The waiting time seems like an eternity, an eerie feeling in the back of your mind like you are being watched. Your eyes dart to your phone, half convinced that maybe you should just call a toll truck when you see the headlights of Hanji's motorcycle as they speed down the road.

The light from the post shines above them and you can barely distinguish if they are an angel or a real person. As soon as their bike is parked behind your car, you exit the vehicle, running towards their embrace.

Their hair is still messy from having a helmet on and they hold a small toolbox with their left hand, but that does not stop them from hugging you as tightly as they possibly can. Their lips press against your head as the two of you remain like that for a while.

"Shhh, it's ok, my love," you can feel the smile in their voice, a gentleness like nothing you have ever experienced before, "Hanji is here to fix your problems."

"I truly appreciate you coming this fast," you whisper against their chest, "I genuinely thought my car would be able to handle the journey today but… I guess I was wrong."

"Did you have any trouble starting it this morning?" They pull back, their arm still wrapped around your frame. You think for a second, having trouble focusing on anything other than this panicky feeling in your chest.

Slowly, you begin to remember your day: you left work and the car started. You left for lunch and the car started. Clearly, it had started when you left home that morning… Didn't it?

"Oh shit…" You whisper while an embarrassed expression takes over your features. Your eyes shift towards the ground as you pull slightly further away to create a bigger distance between your bodies, too self-conscious to even look at them. "I couldn't get the engine to turn this morning. I had to start it, put it in neutral, and then start it again."

They nod, kissing your forehead once more as they stand in front of the hood of your car. You are still too embarrassed to look but you can hear the moment their toolbox touches the ground and as their hands pop it open. A few seconds go by as they begin tinkering with the metal inside, though your knowledge of cars isn't deep enough for you to fully understand what is going on.

You cross one arm against your chest while the other rests above your hand, your index finger tapping on your cheek while you can't help but take small nibbles on your thumb's nail. The anxiety inside of your chest never dissipates, nor the shame.

The morning had been nothing but a blur. You woke up late for work, forgot to eat or even bring anything to snack on until you had time to go to lunch, spilled water all over your car, and, to top it all off, it was raining in the morning. The engine not starting was just one of the many, many things that had gone wrong. You meant to text Hanji about it so they could meet you during your work hours and fix it but, of course, you forgot to charge your phone the night before.

You close your eyes and exhale, leaning against the car. Before you can get yourself into a frenzy, you hear Hanji's gentle voice pulling you out of the dark spiral you were about to send yourself into, "Okay, good news and bad news."

"Please explain it to me like I'm five," you say, shooting them an exhausted look and it causes them to chuckle quietly. "Bad news first."

"The alternator, or thing that charges your car battery, isn't properly working for some reason. Maybe because it's old, maybe it's faulty, but it for sure will not start working again, like, that thing is dead."

You nod, surprisingly following along with what they are telling you. You realize that all this knowledge comes from the previous times they have come to your aid or maybe from all the times they would check under the hood of your car before you left their house while the two of you still lived in separate households. Regardless, you turn your attention to them once more.

"I checked the fluid and the coolant and everything seems to be full and working ok. I ran some codes and nothing out of the ordinary popped up and lastly, I checked your oil." They say, wiping the grime out of their hands with a bleached towel, their face slightly sweaty, especially around the area where their glasses sit on their nose.

"Fuck… And the good news?" You ask, biting your nails even more, almost to the point of blood. With a gentle and concerned expression, Hanji takes a few steps forward, wrapping their dirty digits around your trembling palms, and only then do you notice just how short your nails have become.

"I can easily fix it. The last one we bought still has a warranty, so I can just change them." They whisper, placing a kiss against your fingers. A sense of despair fills your body again as tears prickle at the corners of your eyes, your lip trembling as you speak in a quiet yet pathetic voice.

"Please, don't leave me alone."

They sigh, running their hand over their messy hair. They look over to the open hood of your car and around the neighborhood, trying to think about what the best choice would be in this situation.

"The store is fifteen minutes away, on my bike, I'll be back in - "

"Please, don't leave me alone!!" You beg desperately, whatever is left of your fingernails now digging into the skin of their biceps, your eyes are wide open as tears stream down. You weren't that upset about the car breaking down, but just the intensity of all the feelings you had been holding back finally caught up to you the moment you realized you would have to be without them for even a second.

Hanji is taken aback by how sudden your response is, and how desolate you sound. They can see the anxiety written all over your features and it causes their heart to ache in their chest. That's the moment in which they realize just how many feelings you have been bottling, just how bad your week has been, and just how you have refused to talk to them about it.

Almost like they gain consciousness, their arms wrap around your frame, pulling you closer to their body. In exchange, you bury your head on their chest, not carrying that their shirt is now covered in grime and sweat, even if it is chilly outside. "Is there anything you want to talk about?" They whisper, their lips pressed against the top of your head.

You want to shake your head, to put your walls up once more and brush it off as "just a bad day", but it was more than that. It had been a bad week, a bad month, and you had gone through it all by yourself, in silence. Crying in the shower but still putting on a smile when around them, your appetite barely exists but you still eat all of their cooking. But before you can deny anything, the tears begin pouring down your face once more, you cling to them like they are the last life vest on a sinking ship.

“I d-don’t know what is going on with me…” You gasp, hiding your face in a mixture of shame and search for comfort. “I just… I just want to be close to you at all times, I just never want to be alone and I just… Everything is too much and not enough, everything is going wrong. I…”

“My love,” they whisper, holding you slightly tighter with one arm. With their free hand, they prop up your chin, a gentle and warm smile taking over their lips once your eyes meet. “You don’t have to suffer alone, ok? I am here for you, no matter what, when, or where. I will always be by your side.”

“Good and bad?” You sniffle and they chuckle softly, brushing a strand of hair away from your eyes as they lean down so their forehead is touching yours. They nod.

“Good and bad, my angel…” They whisper, their eyes closing as your noses brush together. You lean closer, your lips brushing against theirs so lightly that it nearly feels like a paint-filled brush against a canvas, working its way through a halfway-painted masterpiece.

Hanji gently presses your body against the car door, their grip on your waist is tight as they make sure to keep you safely in place. Your lips are half-open, temptingly wet in the dim light of the street pole, your face is stained with silent tears and the only thought going through their head? “I really need to kiss her.”

And so they do. They lean forward ever so slightly until there is no more room between the two of you. When your lips collide, you can’t help the quiet gasp that exists in your body, your hand gently resting on their cheek while your thumb brushes against the softness of their skin. 

You get lost in the warmth of their body, in how comforting it feels to have them pressed against you like this. Your nose brushes against theirs as your head tilts slightly to the side, the faint smell of coffee and menthol cigarettes still lingering on their breath as it mixes with the scent of the gum you had in your mouth earlier.

They nibble on your tongue gently, sometimes brushing the tip of their own against it and it’s enough to cause you to nearly melt in their arms. If it wasn’t for their strong arms holding you in place, you would have fallen to the ground into a puddle underneath their feet.

Neither of you wants to pull away, but the need to breathe is becoming stronger by the second. When you separate, your forehead rests against theirs, and your eyes remain closed as you enjoy the smell of their skin. Even if it isn’t a pleasant smell, it brings you too much comfort in this moment for you to care.

“I’ll call Moblit and he can come to help, ok?” They whisper, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. You nod, lacing your fingers with the ones on their left hand while they pull their phone out of their pocket with the other. "I'll send him to the store and I will stay with you. You won't be alone, I promise."

As they speak to the man on the other end of the line, you can’t help but allow a small smile to form on your lips as you think about how lucky you are to have someone like them in your life. Someone willing to stop everything at the drop of a hat to come to rescue you when you need them most. 

As they blow you a kiss, you find yourself thinking about that one specific sentence once more, realizing that no truer words had ever been spoken:

“Hanji is here to fix all your problems.”

[zorosangell]

I’ll request for Cora then! I don’t really know what to request tho 🤔 but I love all your writing so I’m sure I’ll love whatever you write. how about just general headcanons? thank you! ❤️

⛥ﾟ・。corazon general and specific headcanons

synopsis: just some headcanons for the nine-foot tall blonde of my dreams

cw: none

a/n: this was so fun to write! thanks anon for the ask. i think i'm gonna open up my inbox for headcanons on other characters like kid or law or whatever

a/n 2: stay safe and rive carefully y'all. happy new year <3

general headcanons (you both are in a relationship)

— while i've seen others view cora as an overall shy, introverted person, i actually think the opposite, at least in some cases

— granted, he's not shouting from the mountain tops or actively going out of his way to talk to others, he is very extroverted with the people he knows and trusts

— like you, queen <3

— he likes to tell jokes and use his clumsiness to make you laugh, even if it isn't on purpose most of the time

— and when you do, he feels like he's on top of the world

— he's also very protective of you

— certain things in your relationship he likes to take a back seat on, but your safety is not one of them

— he's seen some things, and he'll be damned if something happens to you because of his negligence

— in a crowded room, he'll position himself behind you, acting as a guard dog as he keeps tabs on all possible threats

— in a bar, he'll keep a watchful eye on your drink and make sure an arm is around your waist at all times

— on the sidewalk, he will always, always make sure he's on the street side

— but that ties in with him being a perfect gentleman

— that being said... YOU NEVER HAVE TO PAY FOR ANYTHING

— actually gets offended if you try

— you're his lady; when you're with him, you don't lift a finger

— he may be on a marine's salary but when it comes to you he acts as if he has all the money in the world

— loves to splurge on you

"aw, baby, look! that necklace would look great on you, wouldn't it!"

"cora, honey, it's 90,000 berries... and you just got me a 70,000 berry bracelet last week"

"and?"

— honestly not very opinionated, doesn't really have many preferences when it comes to material things

— often has you order for him at restaurants, or pick out his clothes for the day

— hates arguing and fighting in general (though arguments are few and far between for you both anyway)

— if you don't like kids, that might be a bit of a deal breaker, seeing as law is a large part of his life

— not only that, but if you just are not a kind or decent person, this is not the man for you

— but trust, if you hit it off with law, you will have this man's heart forever (easier said than done tho)

specific headcanon (story-ish i guess)

— for the sake of whatever, let's say you're the nurse of doflamingo's crew (by circumstance, you're still a good person)

— when you first joined, cora was floored by your beauty; like actually, he fell flat on his face when doflamingo introduced you to the crew

— he was baffled that someone like you was a pirate, and even more so when you opened your mouth to reveal that you were incredibly kind and warm hearted

— (he would later learn that you had been blackmailed by his brother into joining the crew—the warlord promised no harm would come to your family if you joined him)

— initially, he was both enamored and suspicious, seeing as only those with cruel intentions joined his brother's crew

— but as time went by, he was quick to learn that it was quite the opposite, and quick to grow a certain fondness for you

— i imagine cora as a slow burner, so of course all of this happens over a decent amount of time

— but within that time you manage to weasel your way into his heart

— being the ship's nurse, you are always tasked with patching him up after his mishaps

— even though you do slip up and let out a chuckle or two, it never comes from a place of malice, unlike the others

— and even still, you scold and warn him about being careful around fires and hot liquids

— though, most of the time, it goes in one ear and out the other

— sometimes he's too preoccupied with your soft hands on him, or your pretty eyes locked with his

— sidebar: he blushes like a school girl because of his fair skin, i'm talking full on tomato

— anyway, it isn't long before you two become incredibly close

— communicating is a bit of a hassle given his silence, but he appreciates your constant effort

— he makes a point to keep you as far away from doflamingo as possible, often sending you on "errands" to avoid the two of you from interacting

— and when he can't do that, he floats around, not straying too far away as his brother pulls you aside for a chat or asks you to check a pain on his abdomen (barf)

— that doesn't just apply for his brother, btw

— he does that for everyone on the crew, executive or not

— no one gets you on your own without him knowing about it

— on the outside looking in it might sound stalker-ish, but in his mind he justified it as performing his duty as a marine

— all he was doing was protecting a helpless... sweet-smelling... adorably-laughing... angel-looking... young woman

— but in actuality, he was protecting his dream girl

— his dream girl who absolutely loves kids! (if you don't, then, once again, cora might not be the one for you)

— you always treat baby 5 and buffalo with such kindness, even when they act like little monsters; making sure they take their baths, making sure they eat, giving them their monthly check-ups

— it's one of the many things cora loves about your personality

— as well as nurse, you play the role of nanny to the kids onboard

— and your mothering only expands when law and dellinger join the crew

— fast forward to when cora is about to take law away, he comes to you first, severely surprising you by reciting a passionate dissertation as to why you should join him

— he couldn't imagine leaving you behind in the clutches of his brother; no protection, no one to shield you from the horrors of the family

— so it was only natural that his heart fell to his ass when you declined, but your reasoning was that doflamingo still had your family hostage

— though, on one particular night, when you had happened to walk past the door to his study, you overheard him talking to the other executives about how gullible you were, as he had killed your family years ago

— distraught, you ran away with cora and law that night

— and it was bbq chicken from there...

[midnight-bay-if]

(NSFW Question) How would the RO’s act in a situation involving an aphrodisiac? Say Mc accidentally ate something that makes them extremely uncomfortable until they have sex, though the effects aren’t permanent or life-threatening. Would any of the RO’s be willing to help them out? Deep crushing but pre-relationship :3

(NSFW content warning. Not explicit, but very suggestive.)

S: As soon as they realise what your symptoms are demonstrating, S is very conflicted. They've read how unbearably uncomfortable the effects are, so they want to help. Not to mention the self-control it has already taken them to take it slow and court you properly, as you deserve. When S imagined falling into bed with you, it was after a romantic evening or bold love confession. It didn't involve the risk of rolling over after the deed with a deep regret.

In the end, they can't bring themselves to do it. They will stand guard, wait on you hand and foot, give you everything you desire... everything except them.

"I know you are strong enough to withstand this; should you feel the same after... perhaps we can talk."

Rain: They hesitate. In any other instance of you begging, they wouldn't. Absolutely not. They've been craving to see you like this for a long time. They've imagined countless ways to steal your breath; their imagination has kept them good company on many a lonely night. But it frightens them to believe you only ask out of necessity and not desire.

Still, they can't resist. They have ached for you much too long, and your heated gaze is enough to set their heart ablaze.

"Tell me how I can take it away. Breathe the word, and I am yours."

Taj: Taj realised their feelings were genuine only recently. In the middle of another verbal spar with you, they imagined your absence, and it hit them like a punch to the gut. They see you now, desperate and wanton, and fuck, do they ever want to give in. Had this happened before... when they thought you were nothing more than a chirping bird, they would have. No hesitation. It wouldn't be the first time they've rolled into bed with someone for the sake of fucking.

But now it matters. God, why does it have to matter?

"Ask me again when you're not blitzed out of your mind, Koel. I want to know when I'm making you beg, it's me your begging for."

N: All it takes is one heated gaze and whispered "please" for them to fall to their knees in front of you. They are no stranger to the effects of such a potent aphrodisiac, having fallen victim to such a ploy from their enemies. Except, they were locked into a dark room after, bound, left to rot. Why use pain to inflict torture when pleasure can be just as excruciating and lacks the mess?

They will satisfy you for as long as you desire. Then, they will don their mask that keeps them protected, smile, and leave. Feelings do not need to play a part. They cannot afford to expose themselves to you.

"Whisper your every desire, my dear; I want to hear everything."

Umbra: They can't stand it. They watch as you writhe and squirm before your eyes lock onto theirs, and you beg, "I need you". The words are their Achilles heel, and they fall to their knees like a devotee might pray at an altar.

"Tell me how."

Nothing can be worse than watching you struggle. If they can take it away, they will. There is not a single thing in this world they would not do for you.

[astudyinimagination]

You know what, don't just leave that there. Maybe, instead acting in deliberate bad faith, link the article: https://www.avclub.com/steven-moffat-condemns-ai

Heck, actually, I'm a bit miffed at the AV Club because the half of the subhead is not properly attributed. So I'm just gonna copy-paste the whole thing here because it's short. But before I do that, I'm going to say that, as an actual fangirl of Moffat, I forever have to contend with two things: 1. That he always does a lot of verbal vomit when he gives interviews. To be fair, I'm not sure that I would do that much better in his shoes. 2. That he has a certain sardonic wit that has always translated very poorly in written interviews, wherein writers almost never bother to try to convey his tone. He comes across much better when you can actually hear him speak, and in full context (something that's also rare in written interviews).

Full text of the article below (which includes a link to the origin of the interview, the Radio Times), with commentary from me:

Don’t worry, Whovians—it seems like the Doctor isn’t about to regenerate into a bastardized AI version of himself any time soon. Doctor Who writers Steven Moffat and Russell T Davies recently took on the topic of generative AI in a conversation with Radio Times, and while the former acknowledged that the technology is “fascinating,” he also derided it in the most “Doctor Who writer” verbiage possible. “My son explained it to me. He said, ‘Yes, it can do all these things. It might even get quite good at them. But it takes an immense amount of power to run AI.’ Whereas you can run a human being on sunlight and a vegetable patch,” Moffat said. [See, the first half of the subhead, or article subtitle, is Moffat's son speaking, but the subhead doesn't acknowledge that, which is extremely shoddy journalism on their part.] “Human beings are amazingly cheap, we’re knocking out human beings every day.” Definitely spoken like someone who spends his days writing about anything but. [Definitely spoken like someone with a very sardonic sense of humor, which apparently this writer can't grasp. By the way, the commentary in the article means that it's editorial rather than news, in case you were wondering.]

Still, Moffat does know his human patterns. “Unlike anything else in history, the more we use it, the less good it is,” he continued. “Because the more content that is out there produced by AI, the more it absorbs its own content, and eats its own tail.”

That’s a very astute—and upsetting—prediction, but Moffat and Davies aren’t all doom and gloom. After Davies got a quip in about how “television has run on those principals (absorbing its own content) for a very long time,” Moffat continued: “That’s true, but we occasionally have a new idea. I admit, it doesn’t happen very often, certainly not in my case, but occasionally I have a new idea. But [AI] will never have a new idea. That’s not what it does.”

Davies, for one, doesn’t think the two of them will be replaced any time soon. He’s also far more optimistic about the state of television than some recent reports suggest he maybe should be. The overall number of shows on the air may be steadily decreasing, but the showrunner thinks “the rate of new ideas on television is higher than we ever allow for.” “We always tend to think that things bumble along at a very average level, and the great outliers are here and there,” he continued. “And every month, or every two months—actually, every day, I could find you something brilliant on TV.” [I love his positivity here; it's very Doctorish.]

Hopefully, Doctor Who‘s upcoming Christmas special, titled “Joy To The World,” will be one of those brilliant things. The episode will feature Nicola Coughlan and see the Doctor (Ncuti Gatwa) check into a “time hotel” that allows him to visit every Christmas Day in history. You can watch that adventure on our present Christmas Day, even if you can’t travel back in time.

I’m just going to leave this here

[ratlesshonret]

(This is a very long and disorganized rant. It may come off as very aggressive, but know that it is simply the way I speak when I want to ramble and not indicative of any true anger/malice)

Follow-up to my last post, it is kind of a pet peeve of mine when people almost brag about winning Limbus encounters with winrate.

Like... if you don't like the gameplay, just say that. If you want to just get to the story, that's fine. But sometimes I'll see a creator act like they're so amazing at Limbus, like "I'm so good I can win even with winrate"

But. That's not. Being good at the game? That's just letting gacha luck and the autowin button play the game for you while you take all the credit.

Idk, I kind of hate it, as someone who genuinely likes and appreciates the intricacies of Limbus gameplay. Esp when they whine and fucking complain about how a fight is "too hard" because they have to read two lines of text and then manually select a few skills instead of letting the win button carry them.

Even worse is when these people go play Ruina and complain that it's way too complicated because there isn't a single button that lets them win any fight. Hot take incoming everyone, but Ruina is really not that hard, literally 90% of the game is learning to read. And there's a difference between "ooh lmao i missed that one line when going over the passives, i can't read lol" and "i genuinely refuse to read the passives even when i am losing over and over again"

And that's the thing, some of these people literally REFUSE to read card/skill effects and passives. When they'd probably save more time reading them both by losing the fights less and becoming better at the game.

I feel like in the start, "Project Moon fans can't read" was just to describe a phenomenon of missing/misreading a line or two in the text and making a silly mistake because of it, but now it has gone to become a genuine phenomenon and almost an excuse for itself. Creators and redditors and many others literally refusing to read the text and then excusing it with "well limbus fans can't read it's fine"

And now it is seeping into the story discussion. People wanting to have the story neatly summarized for them by someone else, because they aren't willing to have their own thoughts and interpretations. I mean, what if I'm wrong guys?!?!?! What if I had an incorrect interpretation of the story that harmed nobody and only served to slightly confuse me for a short period?!?!?!

In some ways, the phenomenon of creators like ESGOO neatly summarizing IDs and their gameplay so that winrating Limbus streamers can know what to shard for to put as little effort into playing and enjoying the game as possible has seeped into every corner of the fandom. It's like: "Guys I've GOTTA know what my smart Limbus gameplay guy says about the new ID/EGO. I've GOTTA have Reddit summarize the story for me. I can't have my own thoughts about the gameplay or the mechanics or the story or anything, I need to have someone else package it for me"

I know that not everyone is a diehard fan. Some people are just casuals. It's okay to not enjoy the gameplay and want to get it over with, and to some degree it is helpful to have other people do stuff like explain what IDs/EGOs are good, and what to look out for in both your own and the enemy's skills so you can spend as little time as possible being bogged down with reading pages of text.

But when I see people complaining like "they should just put the source code in the ID skill text" or "omg this new ID is a fucking novel who wants this" it just makes me a little sad. Are we so averse to reading, what, like two paragraphs total of text, that we need to complain every time a new ID comes out that has more than two effects per skill?

And when I see people blatantly misunderstand the story, possibly now because they just skimmed the dialogue and had someone else explain what happened and then formed their opinions based on how they felt when the pretty colors were on screen, it makes me wonder what we're doing.

It almost feels like something Project Moon would tackle in their own works. A society so unwilling to think their own thoughts, so unwilling to take even the barest effort to understand the world around them, that they rely on a few select people they've just decided are smart to summarize and explain everything confusing that happens so that they can go back to mindlessly mashing buttons.

And this behavior being reinforced, through memes like "Project Moon fans don't read" and "me when I winrate the final boss" and "just spam fluid sac lmao," as well as through batshit insane plot theories and interpretations that seem like people are just saying whatever.

I don't really have a point other than that... maybe we need to encourage more actually reading? Instead of just having a semi-formed thought and going to the nearest 'expert' to ask "hey what do you think about X story thing" we actually encourage people to have their own thoughts and feelings and opinions instead of just listening to whatever the generic fandom hivemind says about the plot and mechanics.

[wetcatspellcaster]

2024 fic wrapped

I was tagged by @cursedhaglette to do this tag-game, but I found the focus on stats made me a little uncomfortable! (also, no one needs to know how many words I wrote while having multiple breakdowns last year, truly).

But, I didn't want to ignore Mia's tag! so instead, I'm going to take @cinnamontails-ff wrapped tag-game, just bc I sympathise with the logic and I like this set of questions a lot more!

Thank you Cin for coming up with questions that don't focus so much on productivity. And thank you again, Mia, for including me in the original game :) hopefully this is an acceptable substitute!

What's been your biggest learning point this past year?

I guess, what it feels like to be a 'popular' author - and the answer is, 'both good and bad, in fact, extremely mixed'. Obviously, many parts of it are wonderful: more people interacted with my work in the height of the BG3 fandom than I've ever had before, I felt like my writing mattered and I enjoyed every conversation I had about it. I also felt under a lot more scrutiny, very hyperaware of how I acted in 'public' (ie. on this blog), and aware of the people I'd disappoint with the directions I took my stories and what I chose to include. I also had to watch the baffling half-life of modern fandom! BG3's 6 month peak and 1yr trough was wild to me, as someone who joined dragon age 8yrs after the game was released. But I've decided I actually really like the middle-road of interaction, with much less noise and dedicated, recurring readers who I recognise and who make me smile and laugh every single time they comment or tag my work. I'll probably never experience whatever the fuck Pieces was ever again, and I'm honestly... ok with that, currently? Not to sound awful, but I'm not sure I liked it lmao.

In terms of my writing, my biggest learning point was "you're good at this, actually". Chanting this to myself in the mirror while I white-knuckle the sink.

How has your writing developed this past year?

I'm genuinely not certain. Pieces was certainly my most ambitious story yet, but a lot of the outlining of that took place in 2023 so it feels like the development happened then... though I suppose landing the dismount was something I worked very hard to do. I guess the main development this year was that a lot of what I wrote was extremely, extremely angsty. I wrote Pieces, I wrote This Is Not A Love Story. and I gave Rosalie to Orin :))))) this doesn't necessarily surprise me, given the way my writing often reflects things I'm dealing with in my life, and I've been trying to both recover from - and desparately stave off a relapse into - depression. I think that I can see why I keep making characters into the worst versions of themselves (this goes for Astarion, Rosalie - bc Pieces Rosalie is NOT in a good place, Gale and my Durge) and then watching them claw their way back to happiness in the hope of proving to myself that that's possible.

But jfc, it all got a little heavy. I've decided that 2025 is the Year of the Rom Com™.

Good writing habits?

Committing myself exclusively to what I want to read and sticking to my guns - which means I actually finish the thing, rather than getting into my own head about it.

Stretching my comfort zone a little (writing something vaguely smutty, writing something very different in style, switching genres for a bit) without losing my own voice.

Not falling into any jealousy/existential crises about my own writing, which I guess is much easier when you're experiencing a bout of 'success', but I've managed to keep it up even after the success began tailing off :)

I wrote a lot of words last year. I'm not putting the stat down but god. It was a lot.

Bad writing habits?

Overwriting everything. Everything. All the time. Party Favours was so short!!! I used to write novellas!!! Why are my chapters so fucking long now?????

Having multiple fic wips when I promised myself I'd wind down fanfic and start writing original work again :')

I wrote a lot of words last year. I think I did this bc I was extremely unhappy, and productivity is how I define myself. when I feel bad, I write and post bc it makes me feel good. And I felt very bad this year. So anyway, I think my wordcount is both a good thing and also a wee cry for help :'))))

Favorite thing you wrote?

Chapter Twenty-Three of Pieces (Mephistopheles consultation and my Ascended!Astarion meta-reveal)

Chapter Four of Cooler Than Me (putting the blorbos in a formal-wear situation)

I also liked my sex scene in Pieces :') it was tame but it was written for me specifically x

Favorite reads?

for fic!

long summer days can lead to lazy vices by @pouroverpaloma

eyes like fire by demonsbanebard

only once by @bearhugsandshrugs

and of course stitched into your sleeve by the bestie (@violacae)!!! my first ever gift fic!!!

for literature!

The Scholar and the Last Faerie Door by HG Parry

Long Live Evil by Sarah Rees Brennan

Deeplight by Frances Hardinge

Biggest win?

god. I'm endlessly grateful for my gift fic and for my fanart, but... it's got to be bookbindings. I used to daydream, about somebody ever wanting to have my fic bound, but I thought it was impossible and would never happen! I now know of 3 copies of my work that exist in the world :D and the ones I've seen were fucking gorgeous, like oh my fucking god.

I am also very proud I finished Pieces! It was my most ambitious project, and writing the ending presented even more challenges than I expected - as I discovered how much you write yourself into a corner when you resoul Astarion. I still haven't managed to read the completed work in full yet, but I'm proud it exists :)

Goals for the new year?

finish outstanding wips, and then see where my writing takes me next. I want to write original work, but I also don't want to make it a resolution. As long as I continue to enjoy writing, that's what matters most to me!

Your favorite words of the year, aka the words you check each chapter for, making sure you didn't repeat them 788 times?

I think I use '[x character] froze' a lot, but rather than focusing on my repetitions I want to focus on some of my favourite turns of phrase that I managed to pull from the ether! :)

'before her brief courtship with death threatened to become a commitment' - from the risk and the reward

'We can all still be butchered. We cut away the parts of ourselves to make us fit' - from this is a love story.

"He played an androgynous, morally-grey vampire, of indeterminate gender! In a nice coat! Anyone who had two working eyes and a relevant Kinsey Score read the porn, back in the day!” - from cooler than me

What are you excited for in the new year?

act 3 astarion characterisation for honest lie! the first big romance moment in cooler than me! and then just romcoms! 2025 is the year of the romcom! I want to write exclusively happy things!!!!

tagging: @cursedhaglette (as it's a different set of questions lmao), @imscissorbladez, @violacae, @eraserspiral, @scaryanneee, @sitting-in-the-sink, @pricemarshfield, @pouroverpaloma and anyone else who wants to give this a whirl. anyone is welcome, and if you tag me in it I'll share x

[marketableplushieenthusiast]

A sudden thought that gives me hope for Caine in the end...

Kinger said in episode 3 that the worst thing you could do is make someone feel unwanted and unloved.

Probably authorial voice, considering Gooseworx continuously labels Jax as the worst of the cast and he's the biggest offender on that front.

On top of that, Pomni, our protagonist, is continuously acting on that idea in the opposite direction: after her pilot episode crash, she consoles Gummigoo, then bonds with Kinger, then (as far as I can tell - haven't watched episode 4 all the way through) goes out of her way to help Gangle. When asked why, she says she doesn't want anyone to feel like nothing.

Caine is a disaster, but he's not TRYING to be. He's TRYING his hardest to make the circus happy. He likes them! And it's what he was made for! And in ep 3 when faced with the idea that he's failing at that one task he was designed for, he begins to fall apart, like anyone would.

Maybe he's the metaphorical "final boss" Pomni has to face. Maybe someone (Jax? Pomni herself?) snaps at him, maybe he comes to the realization that he really hasn't been doing a great job, and everyone would be happier if they left the circus, and he has a breakdown... and the only thing that will save him is Pomni talking him down. Showing even him compassion, and by extension saving everyone and the circus. (It wouldn't even be the first AI she wanted to help!)

I'm scared of all the ways a show like this could end, and I really don't want anything bad to happen to Caine (since several good endings for the rest of the cast are probably at odds with good endings in his eyes), but if I'm right about the themes I'm seeing.. Maybe he'll be ok.

[feathers-fins-and-fangs]

im just gonna do all of this at once bc im bored rn lol

⏳ - How long have you known about this kin?

Around two months now, I think?

❔ - How did you figure out you kinned this character?

I was learning about Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet in my English class, and we had to work in groups and perform three scenes of our choosing.

One of the scenes my group chose is Act 3, Scene 1, and I was originally cast as the Capulet servant that accompanies Tybalt alongside Petruchio (whom we nicknamed 'NPC' - Non Petruchio Character), and one of my friends was cast as Mercutio. Then, I discovered my source (an adaptaion of the play) and all of a sudden I just felt this very strong need to play Mercutio in the scene. Like, REALLY strong. I just HAD to be Mercutio. It was like if I wasn't seen as Mercutio, everything felt deeply wrong.

I asked my friend if she would like to swap roles with me, because she's not much of a fan of theatre and acting and such. She was happy and agreed, and we swapped roles, and the MOMENT that happened it was like the stars aligned and everything in the universe was right. I'm not even exaggerating that is the closest description to how I felt.

I thought what I felt I was just me being a jealous prick, and then I began considering if maybe it's actually because I'm Mercutio in a fictionkin way. Long story sort of not very short, I confirmed it.

❤️ - What's your favorite memory from this kin?

I don't have many clear memories, but I do have a very vague memory of sitting under a tree with Benvolio.

💔 - What's your least favorite memory from this kin?

Definitely my death, for sure.

🤝 - What's your relationship with this kintype (ie spiritual, psychological, etc)?

Some sort of mix between spiritual and psychological.

✔️ - What details about this kin, if any, line up really close with canon?

Pretty much everything except the stuff I meantion in the next question.

✖️ - What details about this kin, if any, are really different from canon?

Mostly things that aren't mentioned in source. For example, the brother I have in the original play is completely nonexistent in my canon. He doesn't show up and is not mentioned in source, and I'm pretty sure most of the fandom headcanons that he exists.

✨ - What did you look like?

I look exactly like me in the 2010 cast, played by John Eyzen.

👕 - What sort of clothing do you associate with this kin?

Pretty much anything purple or with purple on it. I don't really care if it's masculine or feminine or the specific shade of purple.

🎶 - What music / songs do you associate with your kin?

Pretty much just all the songs I sing in source.

🖼️ - What sort of aesthetics do you associate with your kin?

Anything purple, really

🎂 - Are there any foods / flavors you associate with this kin?

Gelato! It reminds me of Verona :)

🫂 - Who were you closest with in your canon?

Benvolio and Romeo, of course :D

😒 - Who did you dislike most / not get along with from your canon?

Tybalt.

🖍️ - What hobbies or activities make you think of your kin?

Karaoke! I don't have the singing skills I used to have, but at least I get to vibe to some songs I like.

💥 - What skills or abilities did this kin have, if any, that you can't do now but wish you could? (ie superpowers, languages you don't speak, skills you don't currently have, etc)

I can't speak French or Italian, I can't dance very well, and I can't whistle 😔

🐦 - Is there anything you miss about this kin's body that you don't currently have? (ie basic appearance traits, tails, wings, etc)

I wish I still had my fabulous hair :(

🌌 - Do you ever experience astral limb sensations with this kin? (IE feeling your wings, tail, something your kintype has that your current body does not)

Sometimes I feel like I have my old hairstyle, but aside from that no.

🔮 - Have you ever predicted something about your source material before it happened based on kin feelings? (For example, having a kin memory that lines up with something that happens in your source before you ever knew about it)

Not really, and I never tried to.

👥 - Do you have any canonmates for this kin, and/or are you interested in finding canonmates?

I don't have any canonmates, and I'm a little scared to try to find them. What if later in life I de-confirm this kintype and disappoint them? What if I remember my memories incorrectly and that prevents me from finding the right canonmates?

I definitely do want to find SOURCEmates, though. It's just finding canonmates that feels a bit daunting.

Fictionkin Ask Game

[FACTKIN/FACTIONKIN DNI]

Heya! This is a little ask game I'm designing for fictionkin folks, feel free to rb! If you have multiple kins, you can choose one to answer questions for, or have the asker state which kin they're asking abt when they send the emoji. Have fun!

⏳ - How long have you known about this kin?

❔ - How did you figure out you kinned this character?

❤️ - What's your favorite memory from this kin?

💔 - What's your least favorite memory from this kin?

🤝 - What's your relationship with this kintype (ie spiritual, psychological, etc)?

✔️ - What details about this kin, if any, line up really close with canon?

✖️ - What details about this kin, if any, are really different from canon?

✨ - What did you look like?

👕 - What sort of clothing do you associate with this kin?

🎶 - What music / songs do you associate with your kin?

🖼️ - What sort of aesthetics do you associate with your kin?

🎂 - Are there any foods / flavors you associate with this kin?

🫂 - Who were you closest with in your canon?

😒 - Who did you dislike most / not get along with from your canon?

🖍️ - What hobbies or activities make you think of your kin?

💥 - What skills or abilities did this kin have, if any, that you can't do now but wish you could? (ie superpowers, languages you don't speak, skills you don't currently have, etc)

🐦 - Is there anything you miss about this kin's body that you don't currently have? (ie basic appearance traits, tails, wings, etc)

🌌 - Do you ever experience astral limb sensations with this kin? (IE feeling your wings, tail, something your kintype has that your current body does not)

🔮 - Have you ever predicted something about your source material before it happened based on kin feelings? (For example, having a kin memory that lines up with something that happens in your source before you ever knew about it)

👥 - Do you have any canonmates for this kin, and/or are you interested in finding canonmates?

[southtopaz]

PSYCHO KILLER - SCREAM

Summary: in which Iris Morris has to navigate her personal relationships while surviving a psycho.

Warnings: Fem!reader, angst, mention of violence, swearing, mention of death, Tara Carpenter x Fem reader, multiple parts.

Word count: +2,5k

A/n: this part will follow the events of Scream 6 but it will take place two years later from Scream 5. English is not my first language, so I apologize for any grammatical mistake.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18.

After Tara and Iris stepped out of the room, they made their way downstairs, where Sam, Kirby, and Wayne were deep in discussion about a plan to catch Ghostface. The plan was simple: walk through a public area, wait for Ghostface to call, and then trace the call to pinpoint his location. Iris couldn't shake the feeling that the plan was almost too easy, but at this point, they had nothing to lose.

As the three of them ventured into the nearby park, the sun shone brightly, casting a warm glow over the scene. Families were scattered across the grassy areas, children laughed as they played, and couples strolled hand in hand. The contrast between the carefree atmosphere and their dangerous mission felt surreal.

Tara and Iris walked side by side, their silence punctuated by an unspoken tension that hung in the air. Every time they caught each other's eyes, a rush of awkwardness washed over them, causing both to quickly look away.

"You two should have stayed with the others," Sam said sternly, glancing back at them as they walked.

"That's not going to happen," Tara replied defiantly, her tone firm.

"And miss all the fun? Nope, Sam, I want to be there when we catch him," Iris added.

"Yeah, same," Tara chimed in, her gaze fixed on the ground, unable to meet Iris's eyes for more than a fleeting moment.

Sam shot them a puzzled look, her brow furrowing as she sensed the weird tension between them. "Okay, what happened?"

"What do you mean?" Iris feigned innocence, her heart racing.

Sam gestured between them, her expression shifting to one of concern. "This... whatever the fuck is going on. You two are acting weird."

"We are not acting weird," Tara protested, but the slight tremor in her voice betrayed her.

"Don't know what you're talking about," Iris said at the same time, still avoiding each other's gaze.

Sam studied them closely, her curiosity piqued. "You," she pointed at Iris, "went to talk to her," then she turned to Tara, "and then you two spent a big fucking amount of time upstairs, and now you're both acting like this? Like Tara was all red when you guys came downstairs!".

She paused, her eyes widening as realization dawned on her. "Shut up, like shut the fuck up."

"Sam, no," Tara began, her voice rising slightly in panic.

"You're telling me..." Sam's grin widened, amusement lighting up her face.

"I'm not telling you shit, we have things to worry about like catching a fucking psycho that wants to kill us thank you very much" Iris shot back, quickening her pace to escape Sam's gaze. She could feel the heat rising in her cheeks, mortified that the woman seemed to realize what went down between Tara and her.

"This is the funniest shit ever" Sam declared, unable to contain her laughter.

"You know Sam? Maybe Ghostface has a fucking point".

Sam laughed for a moment before she redirected the conversation back to their plan. "Alright, alright. Focus, everyone. We need to stay on track here." She gave Tara a proud pat on the back, making the girl smile softly.

"Anyways, there's no point in all of us putting ourselves at risk," Sam continued, changing the topic of conversation.

"We're not," said Tara simply. "We're your backup."

"Hey, Sam." Kirby's voice crackled through the phone, breaking the silence that had settled over the group as they walked. "Stay frosty out there, okay?"

"We're good," Sam replied, her voice steady but tinged with an undercurrent of tension. She glanced around, her eyes scanning the park, taking note of the families picnicking and the joggers weaving through the paths. It all felt too normal, too peaceful for the chaos they were entangled in.

Nearby, Wayne sat on a bench, pretending to read a newspaper. His posture was casual, but Sam could tell he was hyper-aware, eyes darting around to ensure they weren't being watched. He had insisted on keeping a close eye on them, and Sam appreciated his presence, even if it felt stifling at times.

As they continued their stroll, Iris trailed behind Sam, her mind wandering. The sun warmed her skin and Iris felt tempted to buy an ice cream cone as it seemed like the only time they actually wanted Ghostface to talk to them was the one time he didn't feel like it.

Minutes passed in silence as they walked, and just as Iris was about to complain, Sam's phone buzzed, cutting through the tranquility. The sound was sharp and jarring, Sam pulled it out of her pocket without hesitation, her heart racing as she glanced at the caller ID. Once again, it displayed Richie's name.

A chill ran down her spine, but she took a deep breath, steeling herself. "You're gonna die, you know," she growled into the phone, her voice surprisingly calm despite the fury simmering beneath the surface.

"No, you're gonna die, Samantha!" Ghostface shot back. "Choking on your own blood when I hack up your sister and your friends."

"Unless we find you first." She shot back, her grip on the phone tightening. She could feel her pulse quickening as she glanced at Iris and Tara, both of them looking around the park, their eyes darting from one person to another, searching for anyone who seemed out of place.

"For a mastermind, you're not very bright,"

Ghostface's voice came through, smooth and taunting. "Waiting for me to call, desperately hoping I'm nearby so the police can grab me? But I'm not nearby. I'm a step ahead of you idiots, as always. Be seeing you, Samantha." With that, the line went dead, leaving a silence that hung heavy in the air. Sam's breath came in short bursts, and she clenched her jaw, fighting back the rage that threatened to consume her.

"How the hell did he know about our plan?" Iris exclaimed, panic rising in her voice. "Someone must have told him."

"Did you get the location?" Sam spoke to Kirby, struggling to keep her voice steady.

"Yep," the FBI agent replied, maintaining her calm. "Geolocation is coming through right now. He's on the Upper West Side, in an apartment halfway across the city."

"On West 96th?" Tara interjected, her heart racing.

"Wait, how did you know that?" Kirby asked, a hint of disbelief in her tone.

The realization dawned on them simultaneously, the air thick with dread as they processed where the killer was calling from and who he was targeting next.

"Gale," they whispered in unison, horror etched across their faces.

Without a moment's hesitation, the four of them took off running, adrenaline propelling them forward. "My friend Danny is on the West Side," Sam panted, fingers flying over her phone as she messaged him. "He can get there faster."

"Yeah, or he could finish her off!!" Wayne shot back, his voice laced with urgency. "Is it possible he's the killer?"

"We'd be dead without him, so I'll take my chances," Iris replied, fear fueling her stride. As Tara ran alongside her, she subtly pointed out a police car parked on the street. Both of them exchanged a quick glance before sprinting toward it, leaving Sam and Wayne to argue behind them.

Iris and Tara dove into the car, and Tara scrambled for the driver's seat, her palma sweating as she rifled through the compartments for the keys.

"Are we about to commit a felony?" Iris asked.

"Yep. You ready?"

"Okay cool just making sure" Iris found the keys and tossed them to Tara as she buckled her seatbelt. Tara immediately started honking the horn, glancing back to see Sam still engaged in conversation with the police officer.

"Sam!" Tara shouted over the blaring horn. She honked again, urgency pulsing in every beep. "Get in!"

"What is she doing?" Wayne demanded, noticing Tara behind the wheel. His concern deepened as he watched Sam bolt toward the car, his expression laced with disbelief.

"Hey! Get out of my car!" the older man shouted, storming toward them. "What do you think you're doing? That's an official vehicle! HEY!"

"I feel like we should use the sirens," Iris suggested, rolling up the window to muffle Wayne's protests.

"Did you really think we were going to steal a police car and not use the sirens?" Tara shot Iris a playful smirk as she pressed the button, the blaring sirens instantly echoing through the air.

Wayne began banging on Iris's window, desperation written all over his face. "Do you even have a license?"

"Sorry, bro, can't hear you!" Iris mouthed exaggeratedly, dramatically pointing to her ears and shaking her head.

"Let's go!" Sam urged, glancing around as Tara slammed the car into gear and sped off down the street, the sound of sirens fading in the distance.

In the backseat, Sam anxiously dialed Gale's number again, frustration mounting as the call went straight to voicemail.

"She's not answering!" Sam exclaimed, her voice tinged with desperation. "Can you drive any faster?"

"I can try!" Tara replied. She swerved around a sedan, the tires squealing as she weaved between cars, almost like it was a fast and furious movie.

"Jesus christ Tara, try not to get us killed please!" Iris shouted from the passenger seat, gripping the handle as they picked up speed.

They burst into Gale's apartment to find Ghostface looming over her, as he pushed a knife to her face while the older woman fought with every ounce of strength she had to stop him.

"Hey fuckface!" Sam shouted, as she quickly snatched a gun from the floor and shot at Ghostface a couple of times, missing him by inches. She didn't kill him but it distracted him long enough to break his grip on Gale.

Iris and Tara rushed to Gale's side, panic flooding their senses as they took in her injury. Blood was pooling beneath her, and it seemed impossible to stop it.

Iris quickly tore off her jacket and pressed it against Gale's abdomen, her hands shaking. "Gale, stay with us! Come on, don't give up," she urged, desperation lacing her voice.

Tara squeezed Gale's hand tightly, her eyes wide with fear. "You're going to be okay, we're right here. Just hold on!"

"Oh, shit, Gale!" Sam exclaimed, dropping to the floor beside Iris to help apply pressure to the wound. "I'm sorry. I should've known that he was gonna come after you."

Gale opened her eyes briefly, locking gazes with them. "He didn't get me. Tell Sidney he never got me," she said, her voice steady yet haunting, as if she was coming to terms with her fate. Then, her eyes fluttered shut.

"Gale!" Sam called out, panic rising in her chest.

"Don't you dare, Gale!" Iris pleaded, desperation filling the air.

"Out of the way!" a paramedic shouted as they burst into the room, urgency written all over their faces.

"Move! You've got to move!" Tara cried, gripping Sam's shoulders and pulling her back, the older girl unwilling to accept the reality that Gale might be gone.

"Got a weak pulse, we gotta move now!" the paramedic said as she assessed Gale's condition. The three girls collectively exhaled in relief, tears spilling down their cheeks as they sobbed quietly, clinging to hope as the paramedics worked swiftly to stabilize Gale.

Gale was rushed to the hospital, and the entire group hurried there, anxious for updates. They filled the waiting area, each person lost in their own thoughts. Just then, they spotted Danny sprinting through the hospital doors, urgency in his stride.

"I got here as fast as I could," he panted, but Sam could only stare at him, her mind racing and words escaping her.

"Did you?" Tara questioned suspiciously, her eyes narrowing. Iris felt a knot tighten in her stomach; Danny was supposed to be close to Gale, yet he had arrived much later. It didn't look good.

"I'm sorry, I—" Danny started, but he was interrupted.

"I'm scared, you guys," Mindy suddenly spoke up, her voice trembling with fear. "I really don't want to get hurt again."

"Neither do I," Chad added, his own voice quaking.

Mindy turned to her twin brother, concern etched on her face. "I don't want you getting hurt again, either."

"I know. I know." Chad leaned his head on Mindy's shoulder, drawing comfort from her presence.

"We're going to be fine. We have to be," Iris spoke up, trying to reassure her friends but she wasn't sure anyone believed her. Tara leaned against Mindy as well, and Mindy extended her hand, prompting Iris to join them.

Iris looked at Sam, who stood nearby, her expression failing to show anything other than despair. She rubbed Sam's shoulder in a comforting manner.

"So, what do we do now?" Chad asked, making eye contact with everyone in their friend group, searching for answers.

"Maybe he gets to win this time," Sam's voice came out soft, causing the room to go still. Everyone turned to her in disbelief. "He wants to punish me."

Sam stood up, her lower lip trembling as the weight of her words sank in. "Me," she reiterated. "So maybe I just let him."

"Are you insane, Sam?" Iris shot back, her disbelief palpable. She couldn't understand where this was coming from.

"I'll just give myself up," Sam continued, as if she hadn't heard Iris. "If this is what I have to do to keep you all safe, then it's worth it."

"No, we're not doing that, Sam!" Tara exclaimed, rising to her feet to close the distance to her sister. "You went back to Woodsboro to protect me and every single day you make the decision to protect me. None of us would even be alive if it wasn't for you. You have to let us protect you this time"

"No," Sam shook her head, her resolve unwavering.

"Yes, we're a team. Remember?" Tara urged, her voice rising as the others began to stand as well.

"We have each other's backs, now and always," Iris added, stepping closer to reinforce her point.

"Actually, we're a family," Mindy interjected, her expression firm.

"Let's go! Core Five! Come on!" Chad declared, his enthusiasm breaking through the tension as he clapped his hands together and raised one hand in the air.

"Core Five!" Mindy echoed, joining her brother, and the others quickly followed suit, hands in the center.

"Core what?" Danny asked, a bemused smile on his face.

"It's an us thing," Chad shrugged, dismissing the confusion with a grin.

"He's going to keep coming after us," Sam said, her voice trembling as fear crept in.

"Then we kill the bitch" Iris replied, as if it was that simple.

"Isn't there somewhere safe we could just hole up in?" Ethan chimed in for the first time, his tone unsure.

"No, he'll just keep finding us," Tara countered, her expression darkening.

"Great," Ethan muttered, clearly frustrated.

Tara paused, deep in thought, before a glimmer of hope crossed her face. "Maybe we can use that though."

She grabbed her phone and quickly dialed Officer Bailey. The group exchanged glances, unsure of what her plan was but trusting her instincts. Tara put the call on speaker so everyone could hear.

"I'm getting my ass chewed out for not dropping the case, and now you want me to do what?" Officer Bailey's incredulous voice crackled through the speaker.

"We want to lure him to a secure location and trap him," .

"And then what?" Bailey asked, skepticism clear in his voice.

"We execute him." Tara declared like it was a normal thing to say, but maybe to them it was. After a moment of silence from Wayne line she spoke again. "Are you going to help us?"

"Let's kill the son of a bitch." Wayne's voice sounded angry. "Now, I'm stuck here, but Gale gave us the cards to the theater. It's got heavy surveillance and security cameras, but we can use that against him. I'll tell Kirby to meet you there, and I'll join you as soon as I can."

"Got it."

"And remember, travel in public," Wayne added. "The more people around you, the less chance he has to take a shot at you before you get there."

They hung up, and the group moved toward the door, setting the plan in motion. Iris lingered back a moment, turning to Tara with a smile.

"What?" Tara asked, a hint of nervousness in her voice.

"Great plan,"

"Thanks," Tara replied as they made their way toward the subway station.

"So, execute him?" Iris raised her eyebrows in mock surprise. Tara rolled her eyes at the theatrics. "And then you say I'm the sadistic one?"

"Don't lie to me, you kinda dig it," Tara shot back, echoing what Iris had said a few hours earlier.

Iris burst into laughter. "Oh, you have no idea."

[bqstqnbruin]

Christmas Crashing

I'm taking a break from my regularly scheduled Swayman programming for a different fic where I'm actually not mean with the ending????? Who would have thought I could do that

ANYWAY this is for @wyattjohnston's winter fic exchange, and I got to write for the absolutely amazing @laurenairay! We're ignoring that it's more than the week after Christmas but oh well

Also shoutout to @nicohischier for letting me yell about this and reading this while I scared her ily

Warnings: swearing, mentions of alcohol, I actually gave you a happy ending?????

WC:8890

Flashbacks are in italics

______________________________________

“What are you saying?”

“That I’m done.”

“That we’re done,” he clarifies for her.

She can feel her chest start to tighten, a lump forming in her throat. “Yeah.” 

Mimi hangs up without letting him get in another word, telling herself that she didn’t want to let him listen to the first sob that came out of her. She couldn’t read the text that he had sent trying to make sense of what just happened, telling her that he loved her and knew she loved him, that he wanted to figure this out and get through whatever was going on.

________________________

“You should totally post this photo,” Stella tells her, her mouth hanging open while she stared at Mimi’s phone screen. 

“Are you sure?” Mimi leans over her friend's shoulder, trying to look at Stella’s handiwork. Mimi was facing the arena, the back of the jersey her mom got her for Christmas a couple of years ago on full display as she looked back over her shoulder, her ponytail covering part of Hischier’s name. 

“Babe, you look so hot.” Stella opens up Mimi’s account, drafting up a post for her roommate. 

Mimi tries to snatch the phone from her before she could do anything, her taller friend holding the phone over her head while people around them filter into the arena, probably thinking these two girls outside were acting ridiculous. They were, but that wasn’t going to stop Mimi. 

Stella manages to get the picture posted, despite Mimi saying she wasn’t sure. “You look hot, shut up and let everyone see it.”

“You’re the worst.” 

“And you love me anyway.” 

They go into the game, Mimi ignoring the notifications that were coming up on her screen from Instagram despite the ego boost she denied they gave her. She could have spent the entire game on her phone, just scrolling through notifications and making her head bigger than it should be. 

“So?” Stella asks after the first period when the two of them head to the concourse to get food. “Was I right?”

Mimi had her phone in her hand, showing Stella her screen and scrolling for what seemed like forever to the end of the notifications she had yet to open. “Fine.”

“Tell me I was right,” Stella gloats.

Mimi rolls her eyes. “This kind of shit is why I broke up with Sofia, if you remember.”

“You broke up with her because she was an awful girlfriend in general, not because she was right more often than you were.” Mimi ignores her, continuing to scroll through the notifications while Stella looks over her shoulder. “Wait, woah, go back.”

Mimi scrolls back down, waiting for Stella to tell her to stop. “There’s no way.”

Stella starts jumping up and down, trying not to bring too much attention to them this time. “Did he comment on your photo?”

“Did you tag him in the photo?” 

Stella smirks. “There’s no harm in trying.” 

“I can’t believe you.” 

“What does it say?”

“No.” 

“It has to say more than just, ‘no.’”

“No, I mean,” Mimi says, moving up in the line. “I’m not gonna read it here.”

“Why not?” Stella whines.

“What if he thinks the picture is weird to tag him in? I don’t want to see that while he’s literally on the ice,” she says in a hushed voice. 

“What if he doesn’t?”

“I don’t want to read it.” 

The game ends, Stella somehow gaining full control over Mimi’s phone as the two of them head out to a bar after a quick pit stop at home to change, despite Mimi’s protest for wanting to stay home and read her book instead. Her bed was right there, after all. 

“Go do your thing,” Stella says, heading off to find a table for the two of them while Mimi tries to secure drinks. 

“Hey,” Mimi approaches one guy, pulling out a trick that she got from one of her books. “Buy me a drink if I beat you at tic-tac-toe.”

The guy looks perplexed, agreeing while his friends root him on, Mimi grabbing a napkin from the bar counter and pulling a pen out of her bag. She normally won, considering the fact that the guys were normally too drunk by the time she got to them to think straight enough to play the game. 

This time was no different. She won easily. 

“What do you want?” the guy asks, his friends making fun of him for losing and putting him in a foul mood. 

“Vodka Sour,” she asks for Stella’s drink.

She gets the drink and leaves before he can say or do anything else, heading back to Stella with her drink in hand. 

“Free?”

“Free,” she confirms, seeing her phone in Stella’s hands. “What are you doing?”

Stella smirks, a facial expression that makes her nervous. “Nothing.”

Mimi nods. “I’m gonna try and find another guy.” 

She heads back to the bar, scanning for another person she could get a drink from. She sees a guy talking to a friend, looking nervous. He looked sweet. Maybe she could actually talk to him and bring his friend over for Stella, too.

“Want to play tic-tac-toe?” she asks him, the guy looking like a deer in headlights. “Winner buys drinks?”

“I’ll play,” she hears behind her, the two guys eyes getting wide as they stare at the person. “Mimi, right?”

“Nico?” 

He smiles at her, taking a step closer and reaching over her shoulder to grab a napkin. He brushes against her, sending a shock through her body. “Let’s play.” 

________________________

Mimi gets to baggage claim, trying her best to ignore the fact that she was supposed to be here with Nico, not by herself, as she gets home for Christmas. He wasn’t even going to be with her for that long because of his schedule, but it was supposed to be something, at least. He knew Christmas was her favorite holiday, her favorite time of year, and instead of being with her like he was supposed to be, he was back in New Jersey. 

“Emilia,” she hears her mom calling her name, way louder than she needed to be since there were only about five other people around the carousel, the airport surprisingly empty considering it was December 23rd. Her mother came running up to her, practically tackling her into the bags that were starting to roll around as her father sighed, grabbing Mimi’s bag. 

“Where’s Gram?” Mimi asks. Every single time she came home, without fail, no matter what time of day it was, her grandmother was always there to see her when she got off the plane.

“She’s with Uncle Sam in New York for this Christmas, remember?” Mimi nods, not remembering the conversation her mother goes on to claim they had weeks ago. It was weird that her grandmother wasn’t there. “Where’s Nico?”

Mimi hesitates, another thing that was wrong. She hadn’t told her parents yet. She didn’t know how to. “His practice schedule changed at the last minute, so he had to stay back. He’s going to let me know later if he’s going to be able to come out here.”

Her father nods, incredibly indifferent. Despite how much he seemed to adore Nico, he would rather have less people around the house so he didn’t get overstimulated when he was cooking. More people meant more food he had to keep track of. 

Her mother on the other hand. “Oh, no. He’s not coming? But we haven’t seen him in so long. What if we Facetime him, tell him we can pay for the ticket for him to come. Where’s your phone?”

Mimi swats off her mother’s hand, trying to follow her dad out to their car so she could go home and go to sleep. “Mother, money is not the problem, I promise. He can’t help his practice schedule,” she lies. 

Her mother continues to fret, walking to the car going on and on about how she wished she had known so she didn’t spend all the extra time preparing for Mimi’s boyfriend to come home with her. Mimi lets out a sigh, climbing into the backseat as her father loads her bags into the trunk.

________________________

“Where are we going?” Mimi asks, climbing into Nico’s passenger seat once his car pulls to a stop in front of her building.

He smirks, leaning across the center console, giving her a kiss, one hand on the wheel with another cupping her face. “It’s a surprise.” 

“That’s what someone would say before they dump the body,” Mimi jokes as Nico pulls away from the curb.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Mimi,” Nico groans, Mimi noticing the smile on his face regardless of his tone. They had been dating for about a month now, spending more time with him than she spent with Stella despite the fact they lived together. It wasn’t her fault; she couldn’t say no to him when he asked her to do something, no matter what it was. 

Mimi shrugs, a teasing look on her face. “Think about it, it would be perfect to take me to some far off location to commit a felony when I have no idea where we’re going.” 

“Stella has your location.”

“You could steal my phone.”

Nico rolls his eyes. “Mimi, I’m not going to hurt you.” 

“Then where are we going?”

“Can’t I surprise you? Please?” he begs, his tone turning a little more serious. 

She sighs, staring out the window as he drives away from the city in an attempt to hide the smile on her face. “I guess.” 

The snow on the ground became more pristine the longer he drove, untouched and perfect as they got away from the more densely populated area they lived in. The trees lining the streets made her wish she lived out here, giving that illusion of serenity that you couldn’t get in the city. 

Nico pulled off the road to follow a gravel path, lined with a wooden fence on either side, just barely wide enough for the car to fit down. 

“This is definitely the perfect place for a murder,” Mimi jokes.

“Jeez,” Nico sighs. “We’re doing something fun.” 

Mimi sees the sign in front of her as Nico starts to slow down, a Christmas tree farm in front of them. She looks at Nico, who was already staring at her with a smile on his face. “So?”

“We’re getting a tree?” Mimi said, feeling herself getting giddy as she unbuckled her seatbelt, practically jumping out of the car.

Nico joins her, taking his hand in hers and leading her closer to the plethora of trees in front of them. “You said you used to love going with your dad and cutting down the perfect tree when you were younger. These are pre-cut, but I figured you could help me pick out the perfect one for my place.”

________________________

“You already have the tree up?” Mimi asks, her heart dropping when she walks into her parents house, seeing what was supposed to be a tradition between her and her dad already there. They never got the tree this early. And they certainly never had it already decorated with lights.

“Mimi,” her mother starts as she beelines for the tree.

“It’s not even real.” Her mouth hangs open as she examines the fake, plastic monstrosity before her, the lights on the tree because it came prelit. “You got a fake tree.”

“Donohue retired.” Mimi stared at her dad, the sad look in his eyes mirroring her own. “There was nowhere to get a real tree this year.”

Mimi nods, knowing it was stupid to get upset over something so trivial, that feeling that something . “We still have all our ornaments, right?”

Her mother comes over to her, putting her arm around her daughter’s shoulders. “You think we could get rid of those?”

________________________

“What are you doing today?” Nico’s voice comes through Mimi’s phone. 

“Nothing.”

“Now you’re not.” Mimi could hear his smile. “I’m picking you up in five minutes.”

Mimi hangs up without another word, rushing to get ready for him. 

He knocks on her door moments later, coat in hand with plastic bags full of stuff there with him. “Hi,” he says, using his free hand to pull her in for a kiss.

“Hi.” She looks at the bags in his hands, trying to suss out why he had craft supplies with him. “What’s all this?”

“Well,” he starts, pushing past her and heading for her kitchen table, placing the bags down and starting to clear the surface off. “After we got my tree, I realized I don’t have anything to put on it.”

Mimi watches him taking out everything from the bags; paint, markers, stencils, scissors, paper, pipe cleaners; it looked like he raided the store purge style for everything you could possibly think of. “And?”

He organizes everything into piles in front of them, gesturing to his haul. “I thought we could make some ornaments together.” 

Mimi laughs, her heart fluttering as Nico beams at her. “How good are you at arts and crafts?”

Nico smirks. “Horrible. You?”

“Awful.”

“Then this will be fun.”

________________________

“Hey, what time is Celeste getting here?” Mimi asks as she hangs up one her ‘Baby’s First Christmas’ Ornament as high as she could, something she has done every year since she could walk. Her sister was supposed to be getting in before she did if her memory served her correctly. 

Her parents exchange looks behind her back, thinking Mimi didn’t catch them. “She got snowed in.” 

“What?” she asks, nearly dropping the ornament her great-grandmother made. “So when is she going to get here?”

“The snow isn’t supposed to clear until tomorrow.”

“So she should be able to get here tomorrow, then?” 

“Maybe.” 

“Maybe?” Mimi screams. This was an overreaction on her part, but it was now the third thing that had been wrong with this Christmas, on top of Nico breaking up with her right before she was getting on the plane. “Celeste has to come to Christmas. Where else will she go?”

“She would be with Quinn and his family, I would assume,” her mother says, referring to her sister’s fiance.

Mimi just nods, knowing there was nothing she could do to control it. That didn’t mean she couldn’t still feel upset about it. 

The rest of the day feels like a blur, a weird emptiness knowing her sister wasn’t going to be showing up like she was supposed to, her grandmother was spending Christmas on the other side of the country, and the tree wasn’t real like it had been for as long as she could remember.

That and she kept checking her phone, expecting a text from Nico to show up on her screen, despite the fact that he hadn’t texted her in weeks. 

“Hey, Emilia,” her dad pulls her out of her trance, standing in front of her with the car keys. “Want to run out and grab some things with me?

________________________

“Stop bouncing your leg, you’re shaking the car,” Nico reaches over and presses down on Mimi’s thigh, trying to get her to stop.

“Sorry,” she mumbles, sinking further into his passenger seat. She looks out the window, snow everywhere, less and less cars on the road as they get to the cabin Nico’s friends rented out for the weekend. They had a rare break between games without so much as a practice (according to Nico, this was unheard of), so some of his friends took the opportunity to get away from home for a while and just relax somewhere else.

It looked like Nico was driving her into her death.

It was worse, actually. She had to meet new people and interact with them without anywhere to retreat.

“Our room is the only one on the top floor if they get to be too much,” Nico says, reading her mind. “They’re going to love you.”

They had just had the ‘what are we conversation,’ where Nico let her know that he considered her to be his girlfriend a while ago. Apparently, Nico’s entire team had been referring to Mimi as Nico’s girlfriend for the last month. It was time to actually meet them, and Mimi felt like she would rather run out into the wilderness and disappear with the bears. 

Mimi lets out a deep breath as he turns down the road the GPS told him to turn down. This couldn’t be that bad, could it?

As soon Nico pulled up in front of the cabin, the car seemed to be surrounded by his teammates, screaming about god only knows what and opening every door despite not needing to.

“You said you were bringing the beer,” Luke whines. 

“I did,” Nico deadpans. “You’re barely old enough to drink, calm down.”

“Luke, go back inside,”Jack says, reaching up and trying to mess with Luke’s hair. Luke stomps back inside, Mimi hearing him muttering something about being treated like a child. “He’ll be fine.” 

“I told you not to bring him,” Nico says, handing his teammate the aforementioned case of beer. “He’s too young.”

“Ok, Dad,” he says, Nico rolling his eyes. “You know as well as I do that I couldn’t leave him home when all of us were here.”

Nico hands Mimi her bag from the trunk once she gets out of the car, taking her hand in his and leading her into the cabin. “That’s Jack and Luke.”

Mimi nods, recognizing them from long before she and Nico even started dating. Nico, for some reason, had a habit of forgetting that she actually knew the sport and the team well enough, growing up with her dad being a fan of them since they were in Kansas City and passing it onto her as they relocated to Devner, then to East Rutherford. She probably knew more about the Devils as a franchise because of her father than Nico did as captain. 

They get inside, the heat hitting Mimi’s face. The inside of the cabin was beautiful, the walls entirely made of wood with light fixtures that looked like oil lamps attached to the walls. Thankfully, there were no dead animals stuck to the walls as she had feared, but a huge TV mounted in front of the couches, playing none other than an NHL game on the screen. 

“There’s Dawson, Jesper, and Nate,” Nico points, the three guys waving to them. 

Mimi pulls Nico aside. “I thought you said they were bringing their partners, too.” 

Nico blinks at her. “None of them are seeing anyone.”

“So it’s just you, me, and your teammates?”

Nico nods. “Yeah, of course.”

Mimi nods slowly, biting the inside of her cheek. “I think I’m going to head up to our room.”

Mimi layed on the bed she and Nico were going to share in the cabin, trying to read while Nico and his teammates were screaming downstairs, clearly already drunk despite them only being there for two hours. This wasn’t how the weekend was supposed to go. She was supposed to meet his teammates and their partners as Nico had told her, so she wouldn’t be alone with the guys.

It’s not that she didn’t think she would have fun, it’s just not what she was expecting. 

She hears a knock on the door as she stares up at the ceiling, her book laying facedown, open, on her chest. She was making no progress. Nico pokes his head in before she can say anything. “Can we talk?”

Mimi nods, sitting up and marking her place in her book. 

“You’re mad at me.” Nico sits down on the bed by her feet. 

She sighs. “I’m not mad.”

“But you aren’t happy with me.” 

“I’m annoyed that you didn’t tell me what I was getting into this weekend.”

“What can I do to make it up to you?” Nico pleaded with her. The look on his face made her chest ache, knowing that he actually wanted to do that. 

Mimi exhales. “Give me,” she hesitates. “Like an hour?”

“Ok.” Nico nods. She stares at him for a second, neither of them moving while the sound of his teammates laughter rings through the house. “Are you not going to go back down?”

“Not without you.” 

“I’m just going to sit here and read,” she tells him, giving him a suspicious look. 

Nico nods again, shifting to rest his back against the headboard, his arm raised for her to cuddle right into. “That’s fine.” 

The two fell into a comfortable silence, Mimi feeling Nico’s eyes on her while she read her book. They stayed that way for two hours, just enough time for Mimi to think of herself as the character in the book falling in love with the man she was going to spend her life with. 

________________________

The two of them drive in silence, Mimi not really caring where they were going. She keeps resisting the urge to check her phone, knowing that she would see her background instead of any notification she would actually care about. 

“So, kid,” her father starts, pulling into the grocery store parking lot. “Nico isn’t coming, is he?”

Mimi looks out the window, pursing her lips and shaking her head. “No.”

“Are you two alright?”

“No.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

He parks the car, sitting there for a moment. “Ok. Let’s go in.” 

“What are we doing here, anyway?” The two of them walk through the aisles, her dad pushing a carriage with the loudest wheel possible. He had a talent for picking out the most rickety one every time, somehow not caring and not getting annoyed as he shopped.

He starts pulling things from the shelves, ingredients Mimi recognized as being for her favorite ricotta cookies, the recipe that had been passed down through her family from her great-great-grandparents. “Mom thought it would be fun to make these again this year.”

Mimi smiles, looking at his cart to see what he still needed that she could grab. The last thing he needed, the most important ingredient, was the ricotta. She heads over to the cheese, scouring the case for the right one.

“Any luck?” her father appears behind her, seeing the frown on her face. She shakes her head, staring at the case. They had to have the ricotta. They couldn’t make ricotta cookies without it. Her father flags down an employee.

They shrug, shoving their hands in their jean pockets. “If it’s not out here, we must be out. The trucks haven’t been coming in with everything lately.” 

Mimi looks at her dad as the employee stalks away. “What do we do?”

Her dad shrugs, staring at the cart. “We can check another store later, but I guess we can’t make them tonight.”

________________________

The first snowfall of the year happened abnormally early; in October, actually. The last time Mimi remembered an October snowstorm was around 2010, when she was eleven. That resulted in most of her life getting shut down for the week, but at least she didn’t have to go to school.

Mimi remembered staying in while her father cleared the driveway, her and Celeste sitting at the door near the back porch and staring towards the sky while the snow fell toward them, pretending that they were being transported to a different winter wonderland that wasn’t their backyard. Their mother would make mac and cheese and turn on a movie for Celeste while Mimi curled up on the couch, cuddling with her mother while she read whatever book she could get her hands on. The hot chocolate always came later, with extra marshmallows. 

As she got older, it meant no school, then no work, but always snuggling on the couch under her warmest blanket, a movie playing in the background while she read with a mug of hot chocolate next to her. 

She sits down on her couch, getting ready to spend the day not moving when someone is buzzing her apartment to come up, a text from Nico letting her know it was him.

“What are you doing here?” she asks when she opens her door. 

He smiles at her, making her heart skip a beat as he bends down to kiss her. “Practice and the game got cancelled tonight, I thought I would stop by since your location said you were home.” 

“Oh,” she lets out, cringing at the disappointment that she heard come through her voice. She watched Nico’s smile falter.

“Do you want me to go?”

Mimi looked out the window, watching the snow fall even harder than it had just mere minutes ago, Nico already covered in snow as it was. “No, no, it’s not safe for you.”

Nico nods, unsure what to do. 

“I was just about to read my book,” Mimi says, taking his hand and leading him in. 

“Oh.” He sounded disappointed. “I thought we could just kinda,” his voice trailed off, his eyes flicking back and forth between her and the hallway leading to her bedroom. “But that’s fine. You can read your book.” 

“I do this every snow day,” Mimi tries not to whine, sitting down on her couch and clutching her book. 

Nico exhales, nodding. “That’s fine,” he repeats, clearing his throat. “What else do you do?” 

Nico sits down next to her, Mimi pulling her book closer to her chest. “I just,” she starts, feeling her heartbeat rising for no reason that she could think of. 

“Hey, hey,” Nico coos, gently bringing her into his chest. He kissed the top of her head, one hand rubbing her back while the other rested on her lap. “I can leave. If you don’t want me here, I will leave. If it’s not safe to go I will just sit in the hallway.”

Mimi lets out a strangled laugh, picturing him playing games on his phone while he posted up outside her door, probably staying there until one of her neighbors ventured out of their place and called someone to come take away the man sitting outside an apartment he didn’t live in. “I put on a movie in the background and then just sit with my blanket and read it.” 

“Can I join you?”

“You want to watch the movie or do you want a book?” Nico shifts, getting up and heading down the hall to her room. “That’s not an answer,” she calls after him.

He comes back, waving a book in his hands. “I’ll read and then if I get bored, I’ll fall back on the movie.”

Mimi stares at the book he picked, her heart swelling in her chest. “That’s my favorite book.”

“I know. That’s why I want to read it again.” 

________________________

Mimi and her father finally get home, the one missing ingredient for some reason impossible to find and the remaining groceries unable to be left in the car for much longer without ruining them, too. 

“I’ll head out in the morning again and see if I can find it,” her dad tries to reassure her when he pulls into the driveway. 

She heads inside to her old room. Every little thing has gone wrong so far, it seemed, but why should it bother her? She was going to be with her family at Christmas, something she hadn’t really been able to do the last few years because of work. Her sister might not be here,or her grandmother, or her boyfriend, but still with her parents.

Her ex-boyfriend.

Staring at the walls of the room she grew up in, seeing the posters from the musicals that she was in when she was in middle school and high school taped above her bed, the game-day posters from the games she went to with her dad as a child surrounding her closet, the awards she won for various random clubs and activities she did in order to go to college where she did above her bookcase. 

Mimi thinks back to her packing job, trying to remember what books she brought with her for the trip. She had the one she read while she was in the airport and on the plane, but she finished that right before her plane landed, putting that back in her bag and spending the rest of the time in the air logging the book rather than starting another one. Did she even bring another one?

She remembers plugging in her e-reader before she started packing, but did she ever unplug it and pack it? She texts Stella to check and unplug it so she doesn’t murder her prized possession while away. 

“Mom,” Mimi yells, not waiting for any acknowledgement. “What books do you have?”

“Check our bedroom,” she hears, heading to the bookcase that’s against the wall. 

“I’ve read all of these,” she yells back, trying not to let a whining tone come through her voice. And she actually had. Most of her parents were her old books that she had read that she gave to them, or that she bought separate copies of for them. The books her parents got on their own somehow found their way into Mimi’s hands, leaving her with nothing. 

Her mom appears in the doorway, a concerned look on her face while she watches her daughter stare defeated at the books. She checks her watch, grabbing her wallet from her closet. “Take my library card and check out what you want. They’re still open for another hour or so.” Mimi takes the card and stares at it. She wasn’t even sure if this was allowed. Wasn’t it some sort of fraud to use someone else’s library card? “I have a book on hold, I’ll call them and let them know they can give it to you. Go.”

Mimi gets pushed out the door and handed the keys, faster than she can even process what was going on. 

She hadn’t been inside her hometown library since she was in high school, everything still exactly the same except for the self check out computers they added for when the librarians were busy. They had set up a holiday book display, Mimi beelining there in hopes of finding anything that could potentially put her in a better mood. 

Mimi picks up a book with two girls on the cover, some sapphic holiday romance that had been on her radar since October when someone she followed on social media had posted about it. 

“Emilia?” She snaps away from the book to see a guy standing in front of her, someone who she swore looked familiar but couldn’t, for the life of her, remember why she knew him. “Niall Walsh.”

The guy she went to junior prom with. Shit, he looked good. “Of course, how are you?” she asks him, trying to sound enthusiastic about seeing him. She just needed to get books and go home.

“Good, good. You’re still out in New Jersey?”

They fall into a stupid conversation, Mimi trying to back away and find more books for her stay. She needed at least three to survive the holiday. 

“A bunch of us are heading to the green later to skate, you should join us,” Niall offers, starting to list off people from high school Mimi hadn’t kept in touch with.

“That sounds so nice, but I’ve gotta help my mom with stuff for the holidays.” 

Niall finally says goodbye with his books in hand, letting her know that she was still welcome to join if she had the time.

She didn’t want to go ice skating. It made her think of Nico. 

________________________

“For fucks sake,” Mimi huffs, kicking the door open. “Next time we want to move, we’re not doing it in the middle of winter, and we aren’t doing it in the middle of your season.”

Nico laughs, getting up from the couch and grabbing the box from her. They had been together for over a year, finally making the decision to move in together. “Both of our leases were up and you would hate moving in the summer, too.”

“I’m somehow sweating and freezing. This is awful.” 

“How many more boxes are in your car?”

“All my books.” 

“There’s no way you fit all of those in your car.”

Mimi makes a face, taking Nico’s hand and dragging him back downstairs. “Stella might also be there with her car full of my books.”

Nico sighs with a lazy smile on his face, puts his arm around her and pulls her close as they walk outside and kisses the side of her head. “That’s my girl.”

“You have too many fucking books,” Stella mutters, opening her trunk. “I nearly died because I couldn’t see out my windows.”

“You were probably fine,” Nico deadpans, checking his phone. “Jack and Luke said they’ll be here in an hour with the truck.” 

“You’re meeting them back at our place?”

“My place.”

“Your place.” The two stare at each other, the gravity of Mimi moving out just about to hit them.

Nico clears his throat, hoping to distract them long enough that they can have their moment inside rather than out on the street. “Let’s get these books inside before it gets dark out.”

The girls unload the cars, boxes upon boxes of books being brought up to the new apartment and placed haphazardly throughout the space. 

“Where are all of these going, anyway?” Stella huffs, setting down a book that Mimi had labelled as ‘Fantasy,’ meaning that all of her biggest books were stuffed in there.

“We have the second bedroom that we’re turning into a reading space,” Nico says. 

Stella nods. “Well,” she straightens her back, all of them feeling the pain of moving too many boxes. “I’m going to go back and meet the idiots for the rest.” She leaves before the girls can say anything else to each other, both of them avoiding the fact that they wouldn’t be living together anymore after nearly seven years. They were so close to having a common law marriage.

Mimi looks at Nico, staring at all the boxes scattered around them. “We have to unpack these.” 

Nico smiles at her. “I have a better idea.” 

Mimi eyes him curiously, watching him head to one of the closets that she still wasn’t sure held, Nico pulling things out. “Ice skates?” she asks, staring at the two pairs in his hands.

“There’s a pond that’s frozen over behind the building, we can take a break before it gets dark.” 

“We’ve never gone skating before,” Mimi points out. “You don’t even know if I can.”

Nico hands her the pair meant for her, taking her hand and grabbing his keys as they head out. “You’re probably better than me.”

“Obviously. You’re pretty shit at skating, aren’t you?” she teases him.

Nico laughs. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

________________________

“Did you leave any books for other people?” her dad teases her when she comes back through the door.

“There’s still all the books written by Republicans.”

“Do they know how to write books?”

Mimi hears her mother scold him for that one, trying to stifle her own laugh so she isn’t scolded as well. “I have enough books for the time that I’m here. I think. Don’t worry.” 

Mimi heads up to her room, flopping down on her bed with a book open in her hand. She didn’t need anyone else to be here for it to be Christmas for her. She could just be with her parents and whatever other family they had coming over this year. 

She reads her book, a group of friends going to one of their parents' houses for the holidays because none of them have anywhere else to do until they realize that two of them were not only together previously, but one had left the other at the altar. 

Mimi sits up straight on her bed, shutting the book as fast as she could. She had to stop going into books blind. Every time, without fail, they reminded her of the things that were going wrong in her life.

________________________

“When do we have to leave?” Nico asks, his arms wrapped around Mimi as they lay in bed, the snow falling outside and coating the window, his bare chest against hers. 

Mimi hums, turning herself to nestle into his shoulder. She didn’t want to leave this moment. “Our flight is at noon.” 

Mimi was heading home for Thanksgiving this year, bringing Nico home with her for the first time. Her parents had met him before, but this was her whole family now. They had been dating for two years at this point, living together for almost a year, and at this point, they both decided it was time to meet her family.

It was terrifying. 

“Ugh, shit,” Nico groans, letting go of her and getting out of bed. “I need to shower, then.” 

Mimi lays in their bed for a few moments, trying to fathom taking a boy home with her. Not just any boy, but the one she lived with, the one she loved.

One of the phones on the nightstand makes some noise, Mimi hearing the shower starting in the bathroom. She reaches over for the one lit up, not sure whose she was grabbing. 

Her mom’s first name came up as the contact sending a message.

“Nico, my mom is texting you.” 

She hears something fall in the shower. “You can just leave it,” he yells back, a weird tone in his voice.

Why would her mom be texting him? Normally, she texted both of them in a group chat that included her father, Celeste, and Quinn, regardless of who she actually needed to talk to. Her mom never even texted her separately, even on her birthday. 

Mimi knew Nico’s passcode. She could just open his phone and look at what they were talking about. 

But why would she do that? Mimi shook her head, putting the phone back on the nightstand and started to get ready, pushing the thought of Nico and her mom talking about something that she couldn’t know about from her mind every time it popped up. 

They had to focus on finishing up the last of their packing and getting to the airport, which they had less than an hour to get to, at this point. 

“Babe, hurry up,” she yells, throwing the last things they needed in their bags, Nico still in the bathroom fucking around. “We need to leave, like, five minutes ago.” 

“I’m good, I’m ready,” he says, emerging from the bathroom, his hair still soaked. “And we have plenty of time before we need to leave.” He grabs his phone, Mimi seeing him open the text from her mom and a smile growing on his face. 

________________________

Mimi finishes one book and quickly moves onto the next, losing track of time. The last thing she remembered, the SecUnit was freaking out about dying and not saving its humans. 

Next thing she knows, it’s three am, her lights are still on, her book is still in her hand miraculously with her page saved by her finger, and something was making noise downstairs. Actually, someone.

Mimi practically launches herself out of bed, finding the kitchen lights on and her sister checking the fridge. “What the fuck?” she breathes out, grabbing Celeste into a hug. 

“Hi, to you, too,” Celeste laughs, Quinn in the background going through cabinets. “We need food.” 

“I thought your flight couldn’t come in?”

“Quinn here drove us.”

“From Vancouver?”

Quinn shrugs, the normal sullen look on his face made even worse from the exhaustion of the long drive. “Celeste had to get here.”

“Yeah,” she says, taking Mimi’s hand and leading her to the kitchen table. “How are you?” She had called her sister almost immediately after it happened to tell her. 

“Good.” Celeste gives her that look that tells her she knows it’s a lie. “Fine.” Another look. Mimi sighs, letting out the words she hadn’t said out loud to anyone. “I miss him.” 

________________________

Her family loved Nico. 

Her little cousins flocked to him, her aunts and uncles raved about how easy he was to talk to. Celeste nearly drooled over him despite Quinn standing right next to him and her having seen him plenty of times on TV. Her parents, Mimi was sure, wished he was their actually child. They would trade Mimi for three mini cans of soda and a bag of corn chips if it meant Nico was their son. 

Mimi was watching Nico play with her youngest cousin, Vivianna, as she showed Nico all the dolls she brought with her and told him about all of them in that high-pitched toddler babble she was probably going to have grown out of by Christmas. Her chest ached at the sight of his smile at Vivianna, finding herself daydreaming about him with their own kid one day. 

“Hey,” her mom pulls her out of her trance. “Can you go grab my phone on my nightstand? It has the recipe for the mac and cheese and I need to take out the turkey in a second.”

“Got it.” 

She heads upstairs to her parents room, finding the phone, an unread message notification from Nico from a couple of hours ago on the screen. She was looking for the recipe, not the messages. It was saved in her mother’s notes app, and that was all she needed to look for. 

But her mom told her to get her phone. She could see the messages and then just ‘unread’ the one Nico had sent her. 

No. That was crazy. What was she even worried about? Her mom and Nico haven’t some sort of illicit affair? That would never happen. 

She shakes her head of the thought. She was going crazy over nothing. Mimi unlocks her mothers phone, expecting to find her home screen with all her apps, her notes app in the bottom left hand corner of the main dock. 

Instead it opened right to Nico’s messages. 

Mimi couldn’t help herself. She scrolls up to the last few messages, her mom for some reason either not replying to him or deleting all of her messages to him, leaving only what Nico sent. 

It was links upon links of engagement rings. 

And she hated every single one of them.

“Mimi,” her mother yells up the stairs. “Did you find my phone?”

Shit. “Yeah,” she sets the message back to being unread and pulls up the notes app just as her mom appears in the doorway. “Here, sorry. I grabbed Dad’s phone instead.”

Her mother eyes her suspiciously, looking at the other nightstand where the other phone sat. “No problem, let’s head back down stairs. Nico was looking for you.”

Nico. 

________________________

“I think you should call him,” Celeste says, ignoring the fact that Quinn was falling asleep in the chair next to her. Actually, Mimi was sure that he was already asleep.

Mimi shakes her head. “He wanted to propose, to get married, to spend our lives together and he didn’t even know what kind of ring I liked? He doesn’t know me.”

“You’re an idiot,” Celeste sighs.

“You’re supposed to be on my side.”

“No, I’m supposed to call you out when you’re being a fucking dumbass.” 

“What did I do wrong here?”

“Mimi, the ring is not important.” Celeste reaches across the table and takes her sister's hands. “You love Nico and he loves you. You guys talked about getting married, didn’t you? The ring can be changed, but if you wait too long, it might not be Nico who gives it to you.”

Before Mimi can respond, Quinn stirs and startles the sisters, shifting on the table. He sits up, his forehead bright red from where he was resting. “Can we go to bed?” he mumbles, his eyes still closed.

Celeste helps get him out of the chair. “Yeah, babe.” She leads him out of the kitchen, leaving Mimi sitting there by herself. “Maybe think about calling him tomorrow? Tell him what you saw on our mother’s phone and tell him you’re an idiot?”

Mimi laughed at her sister’s bluntness. She had been wanting to call Nico for the last few weeks since she broke up with him. Worst of all, she did it while he was on a road trip and took a bag of things out and back to Stella’s place. She never went and got all her things, all her books. 

She heads up to her room, her phone flashing 4:00 am. She had to get to sleep if she wanted to be ready for whatever chaos her family brought with them when they got to their house the next afternoon. 

________________________

Mimi was shaking, walking down the street with an overnight bag slung over her shoulder, heading to Stella’s.

Nico was away on a west coast road trip for over a week already, scheduled to come back the next day. She had been keeping him at arm's length since Thanksgiving, since the text messages to her mother. Everything felt weird, between them and Nico had no idea why. Mimi couldn’t talk to him.

Her phone was in her hand, Nico’s number typed from memory ready to call, all she had to do was press the green button. They had talked earlier that morning, when he woke up, but she couldn’t say anything to him. 

She goes for it, knowing that she had to say something to him as to why she wasn’t at their apartment when he got home. 

“Hey, babe,” he answers groggily after a couple of rings. Mimi takes the phone away from her ear, trying to figure out the time difference. He was at the end of his pre-game nap, just waking up. “What’s up?”

“I’m going to Stella’s.”

“Oh, ok,” she hears him say, the ruffling of sheets as he sits up. He yawns, Mimi able to picture him stretching as he does so. “Are you guys doing a girl’s night?”

“No, um, I’m going to move back in with her.” Nico doesn’t say anything, Mimi standing outside her old building, checking to see if the call dropped.

Nico finally clears his throat. “You’re what?”

Mimi could feel the tears coming, trying to hold them back. As soon as she started to cry, she knew he would hear it in her voice. “I can’t do this anymore, Nico.” 

“What are you saying?” She hears him getting out of bed, shuffling around the hotel room. He was frantic, things falling over, Nico bumping into things, probably in a panic. 

Mimi hesitates. “That I’m done.”

He stops. “That we’re done,” he clarifies for her.

She can feel her chest start to tighten, a lump forming in her throat. “Yeah.” 

Mimi hangs up without letting him get in another word, telling herself that she didn’t want to let him listen to the first sob that came out of her. She couldn’t read the text that he had sent trying to make sense of what just happened, telling her that he loved her and knew she loved him, that he wanted to figure this out and get through whatever was going on.

Stella appears outside, holding the door open for her just as Mimi bursts into tears, bringing her friend in for a hug. 

“What happened?” 

Mimi can’t get a word out between her crying, feeling ridiculous for doing this on the street. Stella tries to console her, dragging her in the building. “You’re gonna be ok. Stay as long as you need. You’re heading to your parents in a few days, anyway.” 

________________________

Mimi woke up to her mother standing over her like she was back in high school and had snoozed her alarm one too many times. “It’s almost noon, are you going to get up?”

“Ugh,” Mimi lets out, swearing in her mind. She jolts out of bed, trying to find all the clothes she had planned to wear that never managed to get unpacked from her bag. 

“Everyone gets here in an hour.”

“I know, Mom.” Mimi nearly falls over trying to get her pants on, her mother just standing there watching.

“Anything from Nico?”

Mimi stops, her pajama top in one hand, the sweater she was planning on wearing in the other as she looks at the smirk her mom had on her face. “I just woke up and haven’t looked at my phone yet, I’m not sure.”

Her mother nods. “Just let us know if someone needs to go pick him up at the airport.” She leaves without another word. 

Mimi shakes it off, whatever weirdness her mother gave off probably just from the normal anxiety that came with hosting their family for Christmas Eve. Both sides of the family showed up, which meant the most chaos possible for their family. She heads downstairs, going through the motions of helping her father get the food ready, setting the tables, trying to find the bag of toys that had somehow completely disappeared since Thanksgiving that they kept for the little ones.

The doorbell rings, Mimi hearing one of her aunts call that she was letting herself in as she always did, a container of gingerbread cookies with her to hand off to Mimi. The rest of the family starts to filter in, the entire house filled with talking, laughing, screaming, and everyone in a good mood.

Except for Mimi. 

“You didn’t call him, did you?” Celeste pulls her aside. 

Mimi shakes her head, taking out her phone since she knew Celeste would make her call him now anyway. She types in his number, pressing the call button without hesitating.

“It went right to voicemail.” Mimi knew the color drained from her face, her heart dropping to her stomach. Did he block her? 

She tries to pull up his location, the last time his phone registering one being at Newark Airport around the same time Celeste got home. He couldn’t be travelling for hockey.

Celeste bites her lip, a concerned look on her face. “He’s probably just busy. His phone is off.”

“What if I can’t get him back?” Mimi felt like crying, again. She really fucked this up.

Celeste pulls her in for a hug. “Then we figure it out.” 

The sisters are interrupted by one of their father’s brothers, yelling something about Quinn being too quiet for the family and how he was sure they would break him out of his shell. Celeste immediately leaves to try to save her boyfriend, Mimi laughing at the image of the poor boy panicking over the anxiety that their family could cause. 

The doorbell rings, the rest of the family too loud for anyone but Mimi, who had happened to wander by the door on her way to the kitchen, to hear. She was sure everyone was already there, her mother not mentioning that anyone was going to be late.

She checks through the small window at the top, the angle of the glass distorting any good view of the person she could have. All Mimi could see was brown hair pacing back and forth on the front porch. 

Mimi opens the door. “Nico?” Her heart swells as he stops pacing, pulling her in for a hug as she shuts the door, not wanting her family to hear any of their conversation. “What are you doing here?”

He pulls away from her slightly to look at her, his one hand still on her waist and he brushes her hair off her face with the other, tucking it behind her cheek. “You’ve been avoiding my calls, and my texts. Stella, Celeste, and Quinn have all called me or Jack or Luke trying to figure out what happened.”

She sighs, wanting to bury herself in his chest and forget everything ever happened. “I saw the rings you sent my mom.”

“And?”

“I hated them.”

“I knew you would.” 

“What?”

Nico laughs, pulling her back into his chest. “I sent those to your mom because I knew at some point, your mom would ask you to pull up something on her phone for her, and I don’t want you knowing what you’re going to get when I do ask you.”

“When you do?”

“When I do ask you, it’ll be perfect for you.” 

Mimi doesn’t say anything, pulling him in for a kiss instead. She could feel him smile against her lips, his hands tightening around her waist. 

“I do have this for you, though,” Nico pulls away, reaching into his pocket. He pulls out a small ring box. “It’s what I’m going to put your ring in.”

Mimi raises her eyebrow at him as he encourages her to open it. “What’s on the lining?” Nico smiles, Mimi staring at the lines and marks. “Holy shit.” Her eyes grow wide when the realization hits her.

“It’s our tic-tac-toe game from the night we met.”

Mimi hugs him, nuzzling his face against his shoulder, feeling his heartbeat as he holds her tight. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Hey, there you are,” Celeste interrupts, the door open with their entire family standing there watching. Mimi felt her face get hot as they all gave the two of them knowing looks.  “Look who crashed Christmas.” 

[lazycrazyme]

"She just fell"

Theo Nott/Brothers bsf x Reader/Malfoy

Quite angsty ig but not from Theo!

Writers note: This is my first fic EVER, so please don't judge too harshly, but I'm also welcome to constructive criticism! I was thinking of making this a series, but I guess it depends if people like it or not. Tbh this was all really just for fun and my personal enjoyment!

Summary: You and Theo have been in love for years, but nothing has ever happened. After an incident where your twin brother (Draco) leaves you in tears, you are confused as to Theodores' feelings towards you.

As you stumbled over your own feet and felt yourself begin to collapse, a sudden pair of muscular arms wrapped around your waist preventing you from falling. Looking up, your whole body froze as you got lost in his mesmerising mixture of blues and greens for eyes. Breaking you from your trance was his deep, luscious voice which you so badly wished you could listen to on repeat for the rest of your days, "Well this seems familiar." He chuckled. And yes, it did.

Back in 1st year, you had been put in the exact same situation where you were running through the halls, dreading being late to snapes lesson, when you suddenly, abruptly tripped over your own feet. Just to your luck, Theodore Nott had been standing there and observing when he noticed the inevitable before it had even sprung into action. He immediately caught you with ease and couldn't stop himself from admiring every feature on your stunned, gorgeous face. He was consumed by your beauty while you were in the same boat as you stared back at your saviour. You swore it was love at first sight, and little did you know he felt the exact same way. Before either of you could speak, you were interrupted by that bellow of an annoying voice, your older brother (by 10 minutes). "Oi, get your hands off her Nott!" "Huh?" He spun around in confusion and was met with a fairly irritated Draco. "Don't hold her like that." He froze for a second, but after registering his friends words let go of you. "Ugh, Draco, what do you want!" You voiced back clearly unimpressed by his antics. "Draco, is this your girlfriend or something, mate?" Theodore questioned, clearly confused by his demand. "EW!" Both you and draco screeched in unison, quite childish. "NO! She's my annoying baby sister, " he explained, clearly offended by Theodores' outrageous comment. "BABY?!? You are older than me by 10 MINUTES. Don't act like you are any wiser than me!" You retaliated upset by the fact you were referred to as 'baby sister'. "So you are twins?" Theodore stated as he grasped the concept of how he had just fallen head over heels for his best mates twin sister.

"Oi! Get your hands off her, Nott!" There it was, just like last time, of course your brother had to interfere. Theo stiffened slightly at the sound of dracos voice, knowing he had just lost the chance to talk to you. Again. But he didn't let go straight away, and neither did you. Draco was now right next to the two of you and practically ripped you away from Theos hold. "What are you fucking doing Y/N, don't act like a helpless slut in front of my friends!" His voice was filled with malice and the weight of his horrible words poured over you. The hurt that his statement had on you was clear as your eyes began to fill with tears. Theo didn't know if he should defend you or not but seeing how hurt you looked he couldn't just allow you to stand there alone. Not wanting to completely ruin his relationship with draco, he barely held himself back from lashing out on him right then and there. "Dude she just fell! There's no need to start calling her names." Theo clenched his teeth at his friends quick response "She didn't "just fall" Y/N is clearly seeking attention and she doesn't have to seek it from my mates!" You stood there completely shocked from the words coming out of your own brothers, your own twins, mouth. "I- I honestly didn't mean to!" Was all you could splutter out but Draco just looked at you unconvinced. "Yeah whatever, stop acting so pathetic and just fuck off." So you did. As quickly as you could, you ran away from that situation and straight to your safe place.

In the astronomy tower, you were fortunate that no lessons were currently going on as the thought of anyone else seeing you like this, in pieces, made you sick to your stomach. You knew Draco and you were recently growing apart. And he was occupied by girls and rarely talked to you, but you couldn't believe how he had just treated you, his own flesh and blood. He treated you as if you were some trashy pick me girl just trying to find someone to fuck. You weren't that, why did he treat you like that? More tears began to flow down your face in an ugly sob and you couldn't stop.

Your best friends (Pansy and Luna) soon realised you weren't in lesson and questioned Draco as to if you were okay. Seeing the guilty expression on Dracos' face, they both knew he had said something. Although you and Pansy were both in Slytherin, in second year you ran into Luna Lovegood who as peculiar as she was, soon became great friends with the two of you and ever since then, the three of you had been like sisters. Knowing where you were, they both excused themselves and were let go since they used the 'period excuse'.

You were sat on top of the astronomy tower, questioning yourself as to why he would talk to you like that. Maybe you were just attention seeking, I mean, you were deeply in love with his best friend, so you couldn't deny you did want Theodores' attention. But you didn't deliberately fall into Theodores' arms, I mean, you didn't even notice he was there! You were just trying to catch up to your friends after you told them to walk ahead while you spoke to the teacher. And why did Theodore not let go of you? And now that you thought back to it, he did kind of defend you, right? Okay, now you were sure you were delusional, and your confused thoughts only fueled the fountain falling down your face.

Theodore was worried sick about you as he noticed you didn't show up to the next class and he soon saw Pansy and Luna leave the class looking extremely stressed, most likely in search of their lost friend. He felt horrible for just letting you run off and not defending you, and the guilt was eating him alive. But he was also pissed. Pissed at Draco for saying such foul words to you. So when he got the opportunity in class to have a conversation with him, he did. "Dude why the fuck were you so horrible to Y/N. She just fell and I caught her." He whispered in a hushed, stern tone, Draco responded in the exact same way. "She needs to understand that she can't just act like that around my mates. I mean God forbid she actually trys to hook up with one of you." Theodore was beginning to get annoyed at Dracos absurdity again. "But you were fucking horrible. I mean did you see the way you left her!? Plus why is it so bad if she does get with any of your friends? It's not like it would affect you in anyway?" Draco was baffled at this point "You can't be serious? It would affect me in every way and I would never get away from her. She's so annoying and never shuts up, it's not like any of you lot would fancy her anyway." He dismissed the thought, "She's just being dramatic, I'm sure she's fine". Although rage was bubbling over in Theo's head, he left it at that reflecting on how Draco viewed him having a relationship with you would be like.

"I'm sure she's fine." No, you definitely weren't fine, not even in the slightest. As Pansy and Luna made their way up the steps to the astronomy tower, they could hear your desperate sobs and locked eyes with eachother before covering the last few steps, empathy filled each of their eyes and they knew something really bad must have been said as you rarely cry, let alone have a full on breakdown. As you heard steps coming towards you, you frantically spun your whole body around, filled with fear, but relief washed over you as you realised it was only your friends. They comforted you for a good long while, listening to you rant and question yourself. They reassured you and promised it wasn't your fault, which made you feel slightly better, but the question still stood, "Why did Theodore not let go?" Sure, it could easily have been shock, but the way he looked at you, almost as if he never wanted to let you go, made you highly doubt that theory. Before you could dwell on the situation any longer, dinner rolled around, and you had promised your friends that you would go with them (not before you cleaned up and made yourself look presentable first). You couldn't let Draco know how much he had gotten to you. And you couldn't let Theodore see you in this state, even if you didn't yet know how he felt towards you.

[hellobitchlet]

Some brief-ish notes on what happened in the 'collab' event, for hsr players who don't have hi3:

-I'm not going to go too deep into explaining the story, because a lot of it would involve me trying to explain why there is a 4th wall breaking chibi who is canonically an hi3 player transported into the game by a character who was never supposed to canonically exist. I don't want to do that, and it was complete bullshit anyways.

-here's the actual important part; Sparkle has decided that she really likes Vita, the gray haired girl you've probably seen in the 'collab' promotional stuff. It's generally implied that she's trying to convince her to become a masked fool. She set up a simulation/game for her and Vita to play, where you have to play a card game called a fool's hand (clearly based off of poker) with npc's to get to the next world. She then threatened to wreck havoc on Mars or something (I don't remember exactly what it was) (there's a civilization on Mars. Vita is protecting Mars. It's a long story) and framed Sampo by somehow dragging him into the game and making him be the 'mastermind'. It's never explained how she got Sampo there. She then erased her memories of creating the game, bc Vita is a psychic and would've clocked her instantly otherwise, and made herself one of the players.

-the chibi is also following them around, because it's not like you could just, oh idk... play as Sparkle or Vita? So long story short, chibi, Vita, and Sparkle go through a weird simulation/shallow video game to 'defeat a masked fool' because otherwise, they will 'attack Mars' or something. In the last part of the story, Sampo is framed as the mastermind, and Sparkle gets her memories back. But when they finally get to Sampo, he blames everything on Sparkle, pretty much acting the same way towards her that he does in Masquerade Duet. Vita and Sparkle fight Sampo and win, and it's revealed that Sparkle was the real mastermind. She puts on her new hi3 skin (for some reason?) and runs off.

-the 'worlds' in the game are basically hsr's worlds. You go through a largely boring Herta Space Station, a Belobog where everyone is a buff trashcan because Hoyo refuses to let go of that, a Luofu where everything seems normal until npc Welt casually reveals that he's the general and that he abandoned his job bc he doesn't like it(no, I'm not kidding), and a place that's sort of supposed to be Penacony but not really? it's a long story.

-oh yeah, and there was an npc Void Archives who replaced Luocha in Luofu's story pretty much. They tried to blow Sparkle and Vita up and then lost to them in the card game. That also happened.

-I'm doubtful that Hoyo thought anything in this event through, but I am kind of curious about one detail; Roza and Lili. These 2 don't currently have hsr expies, yet Sparkle made npc's for them in both Belobog and the Luofu. I mean, they're not the only ones- there's also Einstein, Tesla, and Rita. But Roza and Lili were the only ch's who appeared in multiple worlds (which chibi points out), and they appeared a lot more than other ch's who aren't playing as a hsr ch. I wouldn't expect this to mean anything, but it would be cool if this were foreshadowing Roza and Lili getting hsr expies whom Sparkle knows.

-(speaking of the game's content not meaning anything, how does Sparkle even know like.. half of the info in this game? Either she knows what a lot of hi3 ch's look like, about hi3 Seele's did AND Veliona's exact personality AND relationship to Seele, Luocha doing suspicious stuff on the Luofu, and Welt creating Arahato and being obsessed with mechs... or the devs just weren't thinking when they made this. It's probably the second option)

-Sparkle says some interesting things about Sampo-

-upon finally confronting each other and fighting about which one of them created the game, Sampo and Sparkle go straight to playing poker a fool's hand upon coming into conflict with each other. Which implies that either all of the masked fool's use this game to solve conflicts between them, or Sampo and Sparkle specifically use it to solve stuff between each other. The first option is more likely, but the second option is funnier.

-upon losing another hand against Vita, Sparkle steals one of Sampo's smoke bombs and escapes, with an admittedly cool looking cg of her in her new hi3 skin.

-Sparkle implies that she's going to come back and try to convince Vita again at some point.

-somehow, the story ends with Sampo talking to the chibi, saying that the other 4th wall breaking character told him to play hi3. He then whines about not knowing where to start because of how much content there is, and the chibi gets mad at him and tells him to just start with ch 1. I don't know why Hoyo thought that making fun of non-hi3 players who feel intimidated by how big (and unorganized, and confusing) hi3's story is was a good idea.