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annakie · 6 months ago

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I Tripped and Took a Dive Into Another Life (Part 3)

Part One

Part Two

OK time to finish this up.

Once again, this post gets fairly personal and is all about weight loss. If this is triggering for you, please do not click read more.

Otherwise... here we go.

---

The summer passed with great gains in the house and losses on me. Not a lot of note aside from everything you've already seen in house posts happened for awhile, until my next big thing -- A trip to Minnesota to see my friends Ange and Kate, buddies from my TAH days that I still keep in close contact with.

I hadn't seen Ange since she came to visit in 2019, and I hadn't seen Kate since... idk.. 2018 or 2017? Maybe since TAHrch?

We were supposed to do this trip last year. And I got sick a few days before and we decided to delay it until spring. Then in Spring we found out that Wits, which is a sort of TAH-adjacent podcast we all enjoyed that was also a live show (recorded in Minnesota) posted as a podcast was doing a show in October. They'd stopped doing them regularly a few years ago but did "reunion shows" occasionally.

So we decided to re-do the trip in October again after all, centering it around that show.

Honestly, I had been secretly relieved when we cancelled the trip last year because I knew my weight/my back would be A Problem. I don't need to rehash how bad it had gotten by late 2023 and I felt like if I went back then I would have been a drag, as much as I know my friends would have been kind about it.

It was another motivating factor for me this year, to not be a drag for this trip, to keep up for any but the most strenuous activities we did.

I'd made it a goal early in the summer to try to be 100lbs down for another event I'll talk about in November. I was 98 pounds down the day I left for Minnesota.

I'd bought first class tickets for the previous year and had the money credited back but sitting with the airline, so I was like, fuck it, I'll still treat myself to that since the cost had stayed about the same and it would make the travel less stressful anyway.

I knew things were much better when I made it to the gate pain-free. I remembered the last time I'd flown I had to take a rest on the way to my gate a couple of times. At 345 pounds I couldn't get the tray tables all the way out/around my stomach. No problem at 247. The seats were comfortable. I didn't feel self conscious at all.

I had a mishap finding the right place to meet the shuttle once in Minnesota and had to walk farther than I should have and was only in mild pain by the end of that.

The first full day of the trip, we went to a small touristy town called Stillwater and walked around and shopped the morning and early afternoon away. And I was good all morning.

I mean, for walking.

Food wise I did... just okay on the trip but I was cool with it. I decided my Vacation Attitude, since I knew I had a couple of trips coming up, would be "Get what you want, within reason, but listen and stop eating when you get the signal."

I'd brought enough Protein shakes with me, and brought my shot with me since our hotel had a fridge (and I had an icepack travel thing for the vial/needle), and ate breakfast at the hotel so just having like a banana and some sausage plus my shake was easy.

I had a coffee out at least once a day, and lunch and dinner were basically free-for-alls and I most definitely ate way over goal every day. But also we walked basically all day two of the three full days we were there and quite a bit on the other one, too. Also, I drank for the first time all year, I think. Just one drink a day, I think, maybe two on one day, but felt fine.

In the afternoon on the day at Stillwater we went into an antique store with very narrow walkways and I just started feeling clumsy and big, my back started hurting, so I went outside and sat on a bench then, and near the very end of the day I requested a ten minute sit-down when we were on the way back to the car, but I didn't feel like I was a drag at any point, and that was great.

The next day we did a bunch of museums, and I had a few sit-downs but again, didn't feel like a drag at any point, and mostly did really great with walking and my back only started acting up after a good long while.

They did go on a longer, more strenuous walk up to a waterfall that I opted to hang back in the car for, but I ended up with a baffling but hilarious story of the guy who parked in the car next to me may or may not have been doing something illicit, I really couldn't tell (and didn't feel in danger or anything the entire time) so it was almost worth it.

Back pain is going to be there no matter what weight I'm at, my scoliosis isn't getting any better, but man, being able to walk for 30 or 45 minutes instead of 10 is a huge, huge difference. The pain level takes longer to get to intolerable, too.

The day I got back from Minnesota I weighed myself and I was down 1.2 pounds from the day I left.

---

Another thing happened in October -- Eli Lilly started making noises and moves to end Compound Tirzepatide.

And look, the truth is, they have the right to be mad about it. Even though they can't keep up with demand (AND STILL CAN'T) -- they made the medication, I get them being mad that lots of other people are profiting off their medication when it's still under patent.

But holy shit, they want a minimum of $499 a month for the lowest dose and $650 a month for the third through highest dose.

And that's IF you have private insurance that doesn't cover the medication with their "savings card". If you're on Medicare or no insurance? It's like $1300 a month.

"Oh, but they have to make their money back for the research!" I've seen some posts where people point out that they have, and much more. And yes, they still deserve to be making a profit.

And yes, the demand is still there for them to charge whatever the fuck they want, and they obviously do. And people are paying it.

That's capitalism, baby! (As much as the rest of us hate it.)

But still, holy shit, that is so far out of reach for millions and millions of people.

So yeah, millions of us are on compounded instead. And it works just as well.

TBH I've basically... taken steps to ensure I have enough to get me to goal and spend awhile in maintenance.

I don't want to be without this medication for a long, long time.

It's possible that I'll need to be on it the rest of my life, and I'm totally okay with that. I'll talk about maintenance after hitting my goal later, I definitely have a plan.

But a few weeks ago the FDA made a ruling that compounding is coming to an end about 2 months from now. Which is just fucking heartbreaking for so many reasons for millions of people and the rush of people trying to get name brand again is going to push things right back into shortage again.

One of the lawyers representing the compounding pharmacy alliance posts regularly on the big compound tirzepatide subreddits, so I'm keeping up with the news. Hopefully the fight drags out longer so people can still keep getting their Tirzepatide for awhile yet, who knows.

But no matter what happens, I'm OK for a good long while.

---

In Mid-November, my family went on our Thanksgiving/Christmas holiday. We picked mid November because it was close enough for Christmas/Thanksgiving but also right in the off season so it was cheaper to go then.

I was down about a hundred and ten pounds. That first day back in the spring when I told my parents I was losing weight, we talked about it and I set a goal to be 260 by the cruise, that seemed doable. And then I hit 245 a month before the cruise. I was real happy when by the time we left for the cruise I juuuuust hit 235. 110 down.

We went on Royal Caribbean on the Harmony of the Seas for 8 nights. My parents and Bro/SIL/Niblings. My aunt was supposed to go but had a medical issue (she's OK!) so she couldn't go. It was just me and the 12-year-old twins in the room with me and it was pretty great.

I'd read several posts and watched some YouTube videos with advice for cruising on Tirz. I brought a shot with me.

And my plan was really more or less the same as in Minnesota -- get what I want within reason and listen to my body when it's time to stop.

I brought a 6-pack of big bottles of water onboard and my 40oz tumbler, and some Crystal Light to not add calories with juice and soda.

Another plan was to walk. This is a huge ship, biggest I've been on and my mom LOVES cruising so I've been on quite a few. So if anyone was gonna walk somewhere, I'd go with them.

Included in that, I determined that I'd never take an elevator downstairs or up less than 3 flights. The only exceptions to that is if I were with my parents who couldn't do stairs like I could, though often I'd just meet them there, anyway, and the 2 nights I was wearing fancy shoes and didn't want to risk a twisted ankle. If I were alone and needed to go up more than 2 flights, I'd walk up 2 or 3 then catch an elevator, too.

All of that worked out great. I told myself maybe I'd go to the gym but I never did.

Eating wise I did... okay, most of the time. I did stop at half my meal most of the time, ate only a little bread before a meal (look, the top of rolls with Asiago were too good, but I just had the top :D ) and about half of the time ordered the sugar free dessert, if it sounded just as good as another option.

My family is big on eating in the dining room and not going to the buffet if the MDR is open, so almost every meal was an hour or two long affair but the main time we spent hanging out and talking. The times between meals were more or less free to do what we want, though we had show reservations many nights. My parents love going to the shows, and that was fine as well.

Breakfast was a yogurt parfait and some sausage, sometimes a slice of french toast every morning.

There were meals that were too good to stop halfway through for occasionally, though. A couple of times I picked up a couple of sugar free cookies (or a two-bite non-sugar free thing) at a buffet as I passed as a mid-afternoon snack.

The days we were in port I never did get off the ship, I spent nearly all my free time on the Solarium deck - the Adults Only area (fully clothed :p) where on this ship there are some hot tubs but not a pool. There's also a buffet with generally lighter fare, but I mostly just went in there for ice and... yeah I mentioned the sugar free lemon cookies. (They were really good!) On those days when the MDR were closed for lunch I just got a plate of protein foods from the buffet.

Dinners were always the splurge meal, and most of the time I did decently well!

And then there were the two nights with our new friends.

I'd taken my niece and nephews to Cupcake Decorating class as a part of their Christmas present (it was a per-person charge) one day. While we were getting ready to leave I noticed a guy with his family wearing and Dungeons and Dragons T-shirt. So I called out to him like "HEY! I'm a DM! I love your shirt!" and so he and his wife stopped to chat and we became friends. I introduced my SIL, who was with me, and said that she and my brother play in one of my games, and they were like "LET'S PLAY! Tonight! Here on the ship!! Come to our suite!!"

Your SUITE? OH, OKAY. SURE. So we friended each other on the RC ship messaging service. I had a dice app on my phone I put on my Bro/SIL's phones. (I was THIS CLOSE to packing dice and was like "lol that's stupid, we're not going to play a TTRPG on a CRUISE SHIP!) and that night we showed up at their amazing suite. They'd managed to have character sheets printed out, as they were staying at the class that had basically a personal butler, he'd printed them out for them.

They had ordered in several plates of appetizers and desserts from the specialty restaurants for us to munch on, and this was after dinner. So we basically could do little else but thank them for their hospitality and indulge. Chocolate covered strawberries are a real weakness, and cheesecake. My first real cheescake in a year or so.

It was great.

Two nights later we went and ate at Wonderland, one of the specialty restaurants that has very... idk, shall we say esoteric/gourmet food? Like absolutely off the wall experimental type foods and it's definitely not for everyone, but we'd gotten a good deal on the meal and it was the one specialty restaurant I wanted to try, I was willing to go by myself but everyone else came with, and we all really enjoyed it. And I ate absolutely everything put in front of me, plus one of two Drinks I had that week.

I was so, so full. But the night wasn't over yet.

We went back that night to our new friend's suite to actually play, as the first night we'd just ended up hanging out and talking for several hours. We did play a little D&D this time and it was AMAZING! ANNNNND they'd ordered us in a ton more food and desserts.

Including my biggest weakness in life, red velvet cake.

Yeah, I ate the entire slice, it took like an hour, but I did it and I did not regret it. And snacked a bit more on other stuff they brought in.

We got through one entire battle before it was time to do our other thing our new friends wanted to do -- Crazy Quest, which is like an adults-only game show where we were in the arena style theater, and every seating section is a team, and you have to find/bring things up to the front for points, and it gets very crazy and is adults-only for a real good reason, lol. It was a lot of fun, though, and our new friends made sure we all had popcorn to snack on.

By the time we got back to their suite it was like the first time since starting Tirz I was not entirely sure I was going to be able to hold my stomach. But I did. We didn't leave til after 1AM but it was a really fun night.

Near the end of the week I kind of threw in the towel with worrying about food too much, but still just stopped when I felt done. The scale would say what it said.

Even on the drive home I got Starbucks for the first time in a long time, stopped for fast food as my last "splurge" (but didn't touch the fries and only half the drink) and hoped it wouldn't be too bad when I got on the scale the next morning.

It'd gone up one pound. I was really happy with that.

I was back completely on plan starting that day, and the next full weigh in I lost a bunch of water weight and was down 5 pounds.

---

So a question I get asked a lot is "OK but what happens after you lose the weight and it's time for maintenance? Are you going to be on this drug the rest of your life!?"

My answer to that is yes, I have a plan already, and maybe I will be on this or another similar weight management drug my entire life. So what?

So the data so far has shown that people who go off their GLP-1 medication tend to gain the weight back, like in every diet. You get to goal weight and your body fights like hell to get back to the weight it's "used" to be. They call it a set point. I used to think set points are bullshit but hey it turns out that the science agrees with that!

Here's a really great presentation from the Yale School of Medicine Obesity Studies department that talks about this, and gives a fantastic overview of GLP-1's, what they do in general and also a preview of the drugs coming down the pipeline. And it also talks about the Set Point.

I really, really recommend anyone who is interested in these drugs to watch this. It's a little over a year old now but it's still just a really great watch.

And the good news is that fewer people tend to regain back the weight, though it's still a majority, and many of them gain back less weight than diet and exercise alone.

But a lot of GLP-1 taking people in maintenance just... keep taking the medication. Most of them drop their dose and/or take it less frequently. But your lower metabolism/under active thyroid doesn't just stop being an issue when the weight comes off. Your brain doesn't stop screaming out for food just because you've hit some magical goal weight number. People who come off the medication report the hunger comes back with a vengeance, too.

I do not ever, ever want to feel the same way about food as I used to.

I'm honestly pretty terrified of that.

So when I get to my goal weight (145, which is in the center of "normal" for my height/age, and a nice round 200 pounds down) I'm going to practice lowering/spreading out my dose, for at least two years.

The Yale study above says that it takes 6 months to 2 years for your body to accept a new "set point". So I'm going to keep taking the medication for at least two years after I get to where I want to be.

And then? We'll see. Maybe I can come off of it and keep eating in my maintenance calorie range forever and stay where I want to be.

Maybe my body can't function like a "normal" body without Tirzepatide and I need to stay on it, or another similar GLP-1.

Y'all, the hope has arrived. I honestly believe that GLP-1's are going to help millions more people once they can be more widely available. I'm going to do what it takes to make sure I can keep having access so I never, ever find myself at 345 pounds again. Or 300. Or 250. And soon, not 200.

There is, of course, the common argument that "you don't know what these drugs will do to your body long term!!" And hey, as someone who literally took the most infamous miracle diet pills that turned out to have really bad effects, this was definitely was a concern for me, which was a part of my month-long research before taking the medication.

A couple of things... GLP-1's have actually been around since the 80's and have always proven to be very safe. Not GLP-1's for weight loss that do exactly what Ozempeic and Tirzepatide do, but similar medications.

Second, Ozempic has been around for like five years now and no serious adverse effects have come out, something probably would have started showing by now if there was going to be anything.

Third, the main thing of concern was thyroid cancer in mice when pumped full of ridiculous amounts of the drug. That's not entirely concern-free! But it's also why I see my doctor for blood tests quarterly. Just to make sure everything's good.

And last, the truth is, again, both of my main doctors told me that my weight really may have killed me in the next ten years or so. Or at the very least my quality of life would have greatly decreased had I kept on the same trajectory I was on. My quality of life has GREATLY increased in the last almost 11 months I've been on the medication in ways that it wouldn't have without it.

Even if in 10 years it turns out that some secret hidden terrible thing about GLP-1's comes out... in the end, I coulda been dead in 10 years anyway. We KNOW the effects of obesity, especially as you get older. I'll take the same 10 years but a feeling a lot better, more active, more in control, thank you. :)

And one last thing real quick -- Semaglutide (Ozempic/Wegovy) and Tirzepatide (Mounjaro/Zepbound) are just the beginning. The Yale video above outlines a few things that are coming next. Both companies have even more promising drugs coming down the pipeline in the next couple of years that work better (CagriSema and Retatrutide) and several other pharmaceutical companies have their own GLP-1 and similar medications in trials now. Hopefully when those go on the market the price for Semaglutide and Tirzepatide will come down and will start opening up access FOR EVERYONE.

So even if you're reading this and it all still seems so far out of reach... just wait. Hopefully in the next few years it won't be.

---

In December, I saw my Cardiologist for the first time in a year, since he gave me the dire warning that really really kicked my ass into gear.

He walked into the room with a big smile on his face. "A hundred and twenty pounds!" he said, basically beaming at me.

"I can honestly tell you that this moment right here was one of my motivating factors this year," I told him. "Hoping you'd be happy for me."

"I am! You're doing amazing!" he said. We spent some time talking about my year. We discussed exercise and what I was cleared to do. He told me that things were definitely improving on my scans, but they'd look even better if I kept dropping weight.

He also told me he wished he could prescribe Tirzepatide to all his patients that need it -- it's showing signs of helping the heart in other ways besides just weight loss. But once again, cost is the restricting problem in most people who need it to not being able to take it.

Before I left I told him that even less of me will see him next year, he laughed and said he hoped so.

---

A week and a half later was my company Holiday Party week.

It started on Monday afternoon, I went up to the office and ran some Shadowdark for a small group of co-workers. Aside from Eric, I hadn't seen them in either six months or a year.

I was now able to wear size 18/20 jeans comfortably (down from 26/28s, and starting to grow out of those.) I wore a flattering woman's cut T-shirt instead of layers. I'd gotten a cute haircut on the cruise, I felt great.

And this time, I knew I looked really different than the last time they'd seen me. The first 55 pounds didn't make a huge difference on how I looked but the next 65 or so had.

I also knew that it's a work environment and most people weren't going to comment on my weight and that's OK.

I will admit, I enjoyed watching people's faces the first time they saw me. I definitely got quite a few "Oh, she looks different" looks, though

Only a few people came by the office that night, and then we met several more people for dinner later on. I noticed a big problem though, at dinner. We were sitting in wooden chairs and my ass hurt. Like there was almost no damn cushioning down there, not from the chair and I was sure missing a lot of padding I used to have. It was a problem I'd find that I had several times that weekend. I had probably lost more weight in that region than anywhere else and I was sure feeling it.

The next day was the big company meeting part where we'd all be in the same room most of the day. Eric and I walked in a little later than most people since most of them either lived closer or were staying at the boutique hotel we basically take over every year for the meeting.

Again, I'd eaten breakfast and so just nibbled on fruit all morning, but after I grabbed my plate I went to a table with a bunch of the other I.T. nerds who are all my friends and squeezed a chair in for me and saved one for Eric.

One of the other women in the department turned to me a minute later and was like "Damn, you look good, girl!" I just grinned and said thanks, and for a minute we talked about our weight loss efforts.

I got up to get more fruit and passed another guy who'd just gotten there, I said hi to him. He gave me a generic "Hi" and then a few seconds later was like "Woaah! I didn't recognize you! Hi!" and used my name. I grinned and laughed. I noticed he'd dropped some weight, too, so a few minutes later back at the table we spent a good ten minutes talking about what we were doing and how.

I had no problems sharing with either of them that I was on the medication, and they thought it was awesome for me.

The meeting part of the morning started, and during our first break, the marketing manager came up to me. "I wanted to make sure before I said anything, are you losing weight for good reasons?" I laughed. "Yes, very good reasons," I responded. "Well you look FUCKING AWESOME, seriously, I've heard a few people wondering. Keep it up!" I thanked her with a huge smile on my face, and just really wanted to give her a hug at that point. It felt so good.

At noon, we went back to the office for appetizers and to start the scavenger hunt, before the big party in the afternoon while the hotel staff turned the tables and prepared the ballroom.

I grabbed about a half a sandwich while talking to some friends, and then four of us left to start the scavenger hunt.

Our company's office is downtown in a suburb of Dallas that has a kind of traditional town square type of downtown, what used to be a city hall is now a performance/meeting hall type of space in the center and tons of cute shops, restaurants, coffee houses etc. on all 4 streets lining the square (and some on the side streets for a block or two.) There's a park nearby, too, and our scavenger hunt took us walking all over the town square and the park (and only bothered local businesses that signed up for it to drum up business.)

Right as we were starting the hunt, someone called Eric and he had to do some tech support so he couldn't do the hunt with us. So just three of us did the hunt together, and while we were at it, Matt, one of my teammates who I've known since 2012 at the previous job, said something like "I don't know how to say this and make it sound right, but, whatever you're doing, keep doing it."

I laughed, and said "I take that as the platonic compliment that I know you meant it as," and he said "Good!"

The scavenger hunt made us walk probably 3 or 4 blocks in total, and it was no problem. Right as we finished, Eric found us, finished with having to help whoever called.

So anyway, we walked the entire scavenger hunt a second time, with Eric.

It wasn't a problem. Nor were any of the stairs all weekend. Eric mentioned how the really steep staircase in the hotel was a problem for me last year, I ended up taking the elevator every time. I didn't even think about the elevator this year, until he mentioned it.

Later, a bunch of us were hanging out a a bar, and Matt and I talked about our weight loss a bit more in depth. And I gave him the low-down on Tirzepatide, and told him if he wanted to talk to me about it more, that my door was always open.

That night, we went to the barcade. I wanted to button this story and compare it with last year's mortifying incident by saying "I walked there and had no back pain!" but uh, instead Eric and I had a lot of crap to carry so we just took all that stuff to the car then drove to the barcade, as there is a car park right next to it and we wanted all that stuff close.

But we went to the barcade, I ate too many wings and drank two Drinks, after eating a late lunch at the actual Christmas party, and for the first time in a very long time, I got buzzed.

I played video games for hours with my work friends, hung out with people from other departments and made new friends, and just had a really fucking good night after a pretty great day.

The next day was the IT-only day, and it was also great. I ate breakfast with the group, and we had an amazing lunch at an expensive steakhouse. Every time we had a break I went outside and walked a block or three, sometimes with people, sometimes by myself. I drank delicious coffees, that night we went to a pizza place where I was so stuffed I could only eat one piece of my personal pizza. I put on a pound that week.

It was still a great week.

I spent a few days on program once it was over, then went to my Brother/SIL's for Christmas. I brought my own snacks and monkfruit flavored coffee mix but still only did Okay because my SIL is a great cook. I drank Starbucks too many times on the way up there and the way back to stay awake (it's a long, boring drive) and regretted little.

But my car was comfortable for the entire long drive, no hip bruising this year, in fact I had to move the seat up again. The stairs in my brother's house were no problem. It was a pretty great Christmas.

Life is great on the special days. I'm not going to deny myself on the special occasions.

But most days, when I'm home, it's 1200 - 1300 calories, 100+ grams of protein, 25+ grams of fiber. And I love that life, too.

And even on those splurgey days, it feels like a TON of food to me, but I know it's half, or less, of what I would have eaten in The Before Times.

I was down to 219.2 pounds two days ago and now I'm gaining water weight... but who gives a fuck? It'll come back off next week. I'm not bothered.

---

I've taken pictures of myself almost every month since I started.

In January last year, I went in for a mammogram, at the point when I'd decided I was definitely starting the medication and was just trying to get my hands on it. I hadn't really looked at myself in a full-length mirror or taken pictures of myself in a mirror in years. But there was one in the changing room in the mammogram center. So, wearing a bra and jeans, I knew I'd want before pictures and snapped two.

You can't even tell how bad it was in those, because of the jeans.

My tracking spreadsheet has a tab for pictures and measurements. I put those two pictures in for January.

I didn't take pictures in February or March, it was too daunting.

I did take monthly pictures of myself starting in April, in the same place in my guest bedroom, wearing the same style of bra & exact same underwear, on the first of every month.

I put the pictures and my measurements in the spreadsheet.

Its hard to tell month to month the differences, but looking at the pictures down the line now, it's almost like a flip book of a shrinking woman. I look at them a lot. I can't believe the ones from early in the year were me.

I dream about what they'll look like six months from now.

...I'm not posting them here. :D

BUT

On the subreddits I heard about this app called Me360, which takes scans of your body and gives you your measurements and a blob-style 3D scan picture of your body.

It's probably a privacy nightmare but I signed up for it. And before I take my pictures of myself, I do a body scan.

What I WILL show you is the comparison of my scan blob from March 6th 2024 (my first scan) to January 1, 2025.

The difference in that side pic especially feels astounding to me.

I've still got a ways to go but my weight no longer feels like an impediment to many things. I can squeeze past things I couldn't before, I rarely wonder if a chair I'm about to sit down in will support me anymore. It's already made a world of difference.

But hey, here's also a pic of me on the cruise that I kinda love! It was RIGHT after I'd gotten my hair cut. at dinner the first night.

I almost never put pictures of me on the internet but... eh... this time, I'm gonna.

Okay, so, now that I've spent this entire year oversharing on tumblr, I may go hibernate for awhile.

But again, if anyone wants to talk about this with me in private, I'm happy to talk, about anything here and more. If you think this might help someone you know, please feel free to send them the link(s) to read through.

Thanks for reading all this! I know it's a lot. I know I'm verbose! But it's been such a huge part of my life for a year, and I feel like I've been holding all this in for so long, it's been good to put it out there. :)

#personal post tag thingy #annakie's weightloss stuff

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ratsoh-writes · 1 month ago

Note

What boys do you feel would be happy to be a stay at home spouse? Having free rein of their entire day and even money as their partner has no problem handing over their entire check if the skelly is better with finances.

Personally, I was thinking horrortale but I also feel like running the bakery would be something they value too much to part with. Like the bakery gives them a sense of control and independence especially considering their limitations due to the changes in their body and mind as a result of their life underground. But that’s just my own little theory. What do you think?

I’m feeling adventurous, so let’s do every one!

Sans: if kids are involved and his SO really does make more than him, sans would be open to being a house spouse. But if there’s no kids then what’s the point? His job keeps his mind active, he’d enjoy the free time at first, but would eventually go crazy with boredom

Papyrus: it’s a no for him. Papyrus loves his escape rooms too much to ever truly give up his work. He could delegate most of the upkeep to employees though and just show up for when a new room needs designing…

Star: no lol. He literally cannot cook, you don’t want him as the house spouse. And Star loves his job in the peace guard (police).

Honey: hey, if SO is making plenty then he’s more than happy to handle all the house stuff. Honey isn’t overly attached to his work and would enjoy the freedom of choosing your own schedule every day. He’d prefer this arrangement too if kids are involved. He wants to dedicate most of his time to raising them.

Red: he’d surprisingly be ok with this. Red does a good enough job keeping the house in order, and winds up picking up some new hobbies in the process. Red has the potential to be pretty artsy but never had the time for it before.

Edge: no way in hell. He wants to be the provider in the home! Edge would definitely take the offer as a blow to his ego. Is he not doing enough?

Mal: so you’re saying you’ll pay for everything and let him chill at home doing whatever he wants? Sign him up! Mals jewelry shop is just a means to an end. For financial security he’d easily sell it and keep the home instead.

Cash: sure he can be the house spouse, but at what cost? lol a cash with lots of free time is a cash who WILL cause chaos. Also please let him handle the finances. He’s amazing with money. Your savings will be doubled within a month!

Oak: it’s a no, mostly because he needs routine to help his memory, and moving from the good one he has going with the bakery to a whole new setup will set him back quite a bit

Willow: he’d actually go insane if he didn’t have a job to do. So it’s a firm no unless you and willow have kids. Then in that case the kids can be his job and he’s happy.

Lilac: right now, absolutely not. He already has issues with feeling helpless. Offering him to be the stay at home spouse is like saying he’s just a burden. Don’t do it.

Basil: depends on how you phrase it. If you ask him to be the house spouse cause you want to take care of/spoil him, it’s a firm no. But if it’s because it will make things easier, then basil is all for it. He just needs to feel like he’s contributing.

Rust: he’d be ok with it if he and SO have kids. But if not, rust wants to keep his daycare job. Thats pretty much it lol

Noir: noir isn’t nearly as torn up about being strong and in charge like edge is. He can still feel like a provider at the home as well and would do good as a house spouse. Honestly it’s a bit of a relief to be able to tackle all the upkeep at his own pace. He’d enjoy slowing life down a bit

Lord: while he wouldn’t want to give up his landlord duties fully, they don’t take up much time really. Lord only has to worry about them when a tenant wants to move, or needs repairs. Lord kinda defaults to the main one in the home in any relationship for this reason.

Mutt: sure whatever you want babe~

Wine: I say this for the safety of every one in ebott, wine CANNOT be the house spouse. He will get bored, and because of that he’ll wind up unearthing some insane conspiracy that threatens the whole country

Coffee: honestly not having to work sounds like a dream to him. It doesn’t take a lot to keep the home tidy. Getting to just play games or focus on his fun art most of the day sounds amazing. He’s down

Charm: he says he’d be fine with being a house spouse, but charm will wind up having like 4 side gigs just cause. Hey, the house looks great though!

Sugar: oh! He’d do great as a house spouse! However he tells you it’s better if you just give him an “allowance” then let him have full control of the finances. Sugar is a bit of a serial shopper.

Sparks: staying at home all the time would just make him depressed. Sparks would still go out the majority of the day. Honestly he might as well just keep his job. He’s out of the house more as the house spouse than he was when he had a job.

Salt: if his SO is making enough then why not? Salt wouldn’t mind handling all the house chores in exchange for the free time. And he can handle the finances too if it takes a weight off his SOs shoulders. He’s pretty chill about it all

Lush: lol you’re funny. He makes the money here sweetie~

Pepper: he’s not surprised by the offer, disappointed but not surprised. Somehow pepper always knew a future SO would want him as the trophy mate.

Sir: running his brothel is quite literally his purpose. So it’s a firm no for Sir. He’ll never give that up.

Weasel: he’d try it and eventually you both agree that this was a terrible decision. Weasel keeps getting distracted leaving the home in disarray, and he gets into way too much mischief. He does better with someone telling him what to do, like when he’s at his job ;)

Butler: he’d make an amazing house spouse and he knows it! Butler would be reluctant to leave his security role at the brothel though. They rely on him quite a bit

Gold: gold is the prettiest little trophy house spouse in the world~ and he really enjoys leaning into the role too. You’re greeted every day with a cheek smooch, a cute little dinner and a spic and span home- if you don’t mind it looking like a gothic mansion lol

Flambé: he’d be bored. Flambé enjoys the freedom at first, but winds up greatly missing the attention his role at the brothel gave him. He’d show up often to bug the other workers there and winds up just getting rehired

Pesto: he’d thrive as a house spouse. Pesto uses his extra time to really explore his passion for cooking, and the security of just being with one person really makes him feel appreciated. You do have to deal with the other brothel babes showing up often to visit pesto and steal a free meal thoigh

Pop: lol nope. He’ll blow something up somehow if left to his own devices for too long

Rhythm: NEVER- ahem, he doesn’t like this arrangement. Rhythm NEEDS his dance instructor job. It’s his greatest passion, his purpose in life- he just can’t give that up.

G: no, mostly cause he loves his research and would die of boredom, but also g medical expenses are… a lot. His job and research is dedicated to his condition. It would feel like he’s given up if he threw that all away.

Green: he’d be flattered by the offer for sure! But he does have to refuse. Green loves his job. However since his SO does make so much, they could convince green to cut down his hours a bit so he’s not so swamped all the time

Lens: he legally can’t do this. Lens is under contract to stay working for the royals if he doesn’t want to face prison time for his crimes against humanity in his old au

Cricket: he doesn’t quite get what you mean by house spouse. So live at the junkyard and do the same stuff he already does every day? Unless you meant you wanna move him somewhere else with you too. Then it’s a firm no. Cricket loves his trash heaps

Snipe: besides the whole complications the royal deal gives this, snipe needs the distraction a job brings. If he’s at home all the time, the paranoid thoughts start getting to him

Bruiser: lol there’s no way. This monster is not house spouse material

Ace: also a very bad choice for this. Ace needs constant supervision, letting him be alone for most of the day is asking for a murder to happen

Slim: while he would be so happy to be the house spouse, the deal with the royals prevents him from being able to do this. Maybe in a hundred years or so when slims “sentence” is done with

Butch: if there are kids involved, he can be the house spouse no problem. Of course after his sentence is paid through to the royals. Until then butch is required to work for them.

Boss: he’d be rather hurt if you suggest it. It’s no secret boss wants a SO to be the house spouse so he can take care of them. He’d feel like you entered the relationship under false pretenses if you try to push this.

Partner: funny enough, he’d actually be really happy to accept this offer. Partner would like to handle the finances though just to keep a bit of a sense of control. But he’d do well handling the home. He enjoys the peacefulness of it all.

Rowdy: not right now. He has so much he wants to learn and achieve still! But maybe when he’s lived a bit more, hit his Middle Ages, he’d reconsider.

Gears: heck to the yea! Gears loves this arrangement and feels quite spoiled by his SO this way. He’s a very happy camper at the suggestion.

Compass: he’s dreamed of inheriting his dad’s garden shop for a while, but also wants to make his SO happy. If you push it, compass will reluctantly agree to be the stay at home spouse

Peaches: strong nope. That would mean giving up his orchid and peaches can’t do that. He isn’t sure why SO even asked. He does quite a bit around the house as well already so it’s not like they need the help.

Rancher: another strong no as the farm never rests after all. Rancher will worry and ask his SO if the home chores are too much. He can take on more if they need the break.

Ram: he’d be torn. On one hand, financial freedom and security sounds amazing, on the other hand it would feel as if he’s failed somehow. Ram worked so hard to get himself in this position in life, and now he can just have it for doing basically nothing in his eyes.

Pitch: yea why not? Keeping a home is pretty easy as long as you’re on top of it. Any extra time pitch can dedicate to his studies. He’s happy with this~

Cider: you’d have to pry him out of his families cold dead hands first lmao. Cider is a very important worker to the family business. An offer like that would have his grandparents hating your guts

Barley: he loves the idea, but barley is lazy to the core. So if you want him in the home, don’t expect him to be very useful there. Unless you don’t mind hiring someone for all the housework

Moose: if he gets to stay surrounded by nature he’d be chill with this strangely. Moose would thrive as the house spouse in a homestead or cabin in the woods setting. But he’d hate a suburban or city life. It would make him depressed

Maple: no thanks. He’d feel like a caged canary if he didn’t have a specific job to do every day.

Dandy: he still wants to grow his flowers, but he’s not overly attached to his flower shop. Dandy is fine downgrading his job into a hobby to take care of the home. If anything he feels quite safe under his SOs care.

Filly: she would LOVE this arrangement. Not having to worry about bringing in the money is so freeing to her. And she can handle the finances no worries. Filly knows how to budget

Cigar: uh what? You want him to what??? That’s a very strong no from cigar. He honestly thinks you’re joking.

Colby: he’s a bit puzzled by the offer since his brother handles all his finances already. Honestly you’d have to talk to cigar first here. It’s a bit of a complicated situation.

Foxglove: uuuuuuhhhh no. Staying at home means no more traveling. Foxglove will probably never be comfortable staying in the same place for too long

Periwinkle: also no for the same reasons as above. Periwinkle will be a bit mad her SO suggested it too

Thistle: well it’s likely his SO joined his coven if they married him, so already he’s a bit of a stay at home spouse. He’d chuckle at the suggestion and tell them this wouldn’t really do anythung to change his daily schedule. It would just take his paycheck out of the family income.

Yarrow: no way! Yarrow really hates housework and loves the more active duties his coven has him doing outside. He’d go stir crazy if he was in charge of all that instead! Why not hire thistle to handle it?

Alden: it’s a big no because Al would not be happy giving up his teaching job. He’s just as passionate at teaching students to create art as he is about his sculpting.

Ollivander: he’s the owner of a chain of very important banks in ebott. What kind of money are you making to ask him to be the stay at home spouse????

Barin: he literally can’t do this, as the leader of his rune/security guild, Barin would be giving up a huge position as well as a chunk of his family history. It would feel like a betrayal to him to leave them all to be a house spouse

Arwin; nah, he likes his job and being at home is too stifling. The best part of his work is meeting and making friends with all these new people each day.

Hilda: nope nope nope- she’d go stir crazy at home. Hilda is too high energy to enjoy all that free time and needs variety in her life

Saga: sure, but she’s handling the finances. If saga is gonna be master of the home, she’s gonna take that duty seriously~

Taffy: strong no, her business is her baby, and she’d much rather have her SO be the stay at home spouse. Go put that apron on for her baby~

Pudding: it would take a bit of reassurance first. Pudding feels a bit guilty like she’s taking advantage of her SO in the beginning. But if they communicate that they like her at home and appreciate her help there she’ll relax into the role

Stitches: hahahahahhaa nope! He’s a rather successful voice actor for a few kids cartoons right now, he can’t give that up! If he does he’ll never get his chance of someday voicing a Robin for a future Batman cartoon/movie!

Tinker: he could be a house spouse, but he worries he wouldn’t be good at it. He gets very distracted whenever he’s doing something that isn’t his crochet jobs. He doesn’t want to be shirking his duty

Quill: so.. what you’re saying is you’ll pay for everything and all he has to do is be cozy at home and keep things tidy? Hold on a second quill needs a moment to get some happy tears out lmao. Yes he’s down for this

Crow: lmao no way. The mettas would loose it if crow left, and he’s supposed to be the one spoiling you! He can’t do that properly if he isn’t making any gold!

Mango: she still wants to keep her Zumba classes, but she won’t complain if you insist on paying for more things. Mango needs the exercise to keep herself sane. She’s very active

Papaya: he would be fine with the idea, but it’ll be a bit of a strange transition for him. Papaya is the main breadwinner to his household consisting of his mother and sister. He’s not used to not being the one to juggle the finances. He’d like doing the budgeting for you if you don’t mind.

Roost: yea why not? Roost can keep a house decent and he’d enjoy the free time. If you guys don’t have kids though, he’ll wind up finding himself becoming the neighborhood babysitter lol. And now he’s working harder than he did when he was in the florist shop

Harpy: she wants her SO to be the house spouse, and she wouldn’t enter a relationship with someone who would really hate that dynamic. Harpy wants to care for her beau and sees it as a failure on her part if they have to work as well.

Stein: he NEEDS the labs. You’d actually be doing humanity a disservice if you tried taking him from them.

Victoria: the royal scientists NEED her. Someone’s gonna blow up the moon if Vic isn’t there to reign them in lmao

Gem: he’d be very offended if you offered this. He feels as if you’re insinuating that her better left as a pretty face to be showed, not an actual equal partner. Big no.

Fossil: he’s a little weirded out by the idea, like what’s the point? You both do fine sharing the little bit of housework there is. If there was kids, fossil would be more open to it thinking that it would be good for them to have a parent always in the home.

Magma: lol her little brother has been trying to get magma to sit back and relax for ages. If her SO pulls the “sit back and let me handle it” card on her as well she’ll be quite annoyed. She accepts or course, but she’s annoyed that she’s been ganged up on lol

Tremor: he’s very amused at the offer and finds it ironic after all the work he’s done to become well off, he can now just throw it all way to sit back and enjoy his free time. If his sister is taken care of, tremor will happily accept though

Pluto: he just can’t. Pluto loves his inventions too much to ever truly be a house spouse. He would try though, and maybe if kids are involved he could do it till they’re independent. But he needs some sort of purpose to be content

Jupiter: he’d only agree if he and SO had kids. Again Jupiter is happy to be the main parent if SO makes more than him. Plus with the week on week off nature of his job, he’d actually jump at the opportunity to have more time with them. Afterwards though, Jupiter wants his firefighter job back. He gets too antsy to be happy when the kids are gone.

Helios: no. He loves his dueling career too much to step away from it, and it is a full time job. But he’s flattered by the offer.

Artemis: Ngl, this is kind of the situation she needs in a relationship. Artemis isn’t well enough to hold most jobs, and her snail breeding is more of a side hobby then something that takes her whole day. She’s relieved SO can handle it all

Orion: nah, he likes his tattoo parlor too much

Atlas: he’d say no more because his mom would be very disappointed in him if he did. Atlas would enjoy the free time if it didn’t come with her judgement

Pearl: she’s literally a prince. She doesn’t get the luxury of being a house spouse, nor does she want it.

Silex: he’s also a prince, and so can’t realistically “lay back”. Even if he wasn’t, silex just isn’t suited to that role. He’d hate it.

Fisher: he’d make a lot of housewife jokes about himself in the beginning, but fisher does like the role of house spouse. He goes a little crazy getting to decorate but settles after a bit into a nice cozy routine

Jasper: nah, he’d be too stir crazy. And he’d feel useless in that role. Jasper needs a bit of control over his own job to feel like a proper independent. He’d see himself as more of a pet if he was a stay at home spouse

Finn: he’d hate to give up his job with the scouts. Finn loves his kids! But he’s happy to handle the home chores for SO if they want him to. He likes doing nice things for them~

Sails: sure? If that’s what you want. Sails doesn’t really see himself as house spouse material so he’s pretty surprised at the offer. He’s willing to give it a try though

Hook: if his SO can convince him to leave the ship and crew, he agrees easily. But they have to get hook to be a land dweller first for this to work.

Captain: no. Just no.

Seth: it’s a no for him. Honestly he’s not happy in his job either. Seth needs to find something that’s more mentally stimulating. Maybe try to pay for some college semesters instead?

Basilisk: so you want him to be at home caring for the kids (cause there will be kids with this guy lol). This is literally a dream come true!!! Basilisk is a very happy camper. Oh! But he does still want to go hunting for the family on occasion.

#undertale imagines #undertale headcanons #worldbuilding

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karriethemechtech · 1 year ago

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*URGENT!*

My WHM-6R’s left arm actuator is on the fritz AGAIN! The damn thing keeps wanting to do a 20th century disco impression versus being a straight shooter and it keeps costing me.

Last Batchall my ass nearly found itself as a bondsman to a hyper lethal yet admittedly gorgeous Ghost Bear Star Captain driving a Loki Prime. Like, ok, I admit she did have a rather cute radio voice and it might not have been the worst fate ever but it was exceedingly difficult for either of us to take combat bidding seriously when my mech looks more like Elvis doing his signature “wind up” move versus a mighty machine of war.

We ended up just settling for a pizza eating contest (which I barely won) if you’re wondering how it all went. We did agree I would pay the tab in exchange for me being her +1 at a football game next week. I admit I am rather excited for the prospect. Bargained and done as they say.

I somehow doubt that ex-Jade Falcon turned solo bandit that I have a contract on will be as generous.

Anyhow, Warhammer arm actuator glitches, kindly and thank you!

Hey, thanks for calling in!

First of all, nice to see some old hardware like that still floating around. I bet you and I would get along nicely—you’re ever near Terra or wherever I’m deployed hit me up and we’ll get a drink, talk ‘Mechs. It’ll be fun!

Second of all I think there’s your problem—your Warhammer is ancient. Unless you can prove it otherwise I’m willing to put some money that ‘Mech’s hundreds of years old. You can’t just treat an old thing like that like another piece of military hardware! You’re basically driving around a museum piece. No shame in that, so do I! You just gotta know how to treat them.

Anyway, here’s what you should do. What you’re probably looking at is either in the command wiring or in the drivers running on the ‘Mech’s central computer. I had the same issue when I pulled my Awesome from the junkyard—getting stuck in odd positions. Dunno why it happens, it’s different for each case—could be the drives degrading over time or could be someone else’s repair putting two “incompatible” parts together. Either way, I’ll send you a file with the patch I wrote in and a new wiring layout for your ‘Techs to try, should bypass whatever block you have. You should also check the myomers, see if they’re knotted or fried, and swap those out if you need to.

Should about cover it! Hope that helps ya.

—Karrie

#battletech #mechwarrior

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fantasy-mixtapes · 1 year ago

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Kristen Applebees S3 Playlist: Side A

Here's Part 1 of Kristen's Junior Year Playlist, I am obsessed with it so far and will probably continue to be. Descriptions and key lyrics below. Spoilers for Episodes 1-10

Genres include: Pop-Punk, Alternative, Punk, Folk

1. Lavender Bones, Stand Atlantic

I know I'm out of my depth, but I just float in it I try to do my best, stop picking fights with it I wanna be upset, you're not alright with it I can cover it up, I can cover it Try to speak my mind, wish it was by design But I can only confess to having doubts with it Don't wanna feel regret, I'm not alright with it I can cover it up, I can cover it

So this is a perfect background music for the start of a movie about Kristen's life right now and I LOVE finding those songs. It's perfect on so many layers, it talks about feeling trapped, wanting to fix empty habits, and not to mention how "lavender bones" really hits home to my queer little heart. This entire playlist is really a game of guessing when the "you" in songs chosen mean Tracker and when they mean Cassandra, level: impossible

2. Starchild, Sweet Pill

What do you want from me? I am not a charity Work hard at everything Do it all for free What do you want from me? I am not a guarantee Go all or nothing Lose your money ... Set up to win Wind up disappointing everyone In the end I am disappointing mostly myself In the end Hang your Head

I AM SO NOT NORMAL ABOUT THIS SONG Guys its like it was written for this very specific situation. AND THE TITLE???? FOR A CLERIC OF THE GODDESS OF MYSTERY, DOUBT, THE NIGHT, AND STARS???????

anyways just please please listen to it its so great like even without the connection to Kristen, go support Sweet Pill they have a new album being released tomorrow (March 15th)

3. Uneeda, Deady

What about the bones The bones have no problem Turn them into ash And this never happened Your ashes big asses Your brains on the pavement Oh no! I can feel myself rot Unless I take your hand

Ok so this is kind of a genre outlier on the playlist since it is very very alt punk but for me it represents the rage at the mall, Kristen's relationship to Cassandra, and both of their respective reactions to what happened. It's very chaotic, but it was a very chaotic situation and I stand by it plus I love adding modern bands to things

4. Bite the Hand, boygenius

I can't hear you You're too far away I can't see you The light is in my face I can't touch you I wouldn't if I could I can't love you how you want me to I can't love you how you want me to

Yeah, sorry had to whip out the queer break-up big guns. I don't feel sorry I feel right.

5. Untitled God Song, Haley Heynderickx

When you're drunk near a sunset, look straight in her eyes She's a quick glimpse of heaven, forgetting her headlights are on When you misread her fortune, don't misread the joke She's the note on your lampshade, the honeycomb holdin' you And she spins me around like a marionette Oh, my web is still spinnin' My web is still spinnin', you can't see it yet

Immediately going from having total contact with a divinity figure to having to grasp for straws once again to a memory you hold onto, literally holding onto the shards of your faith. Having to both embrace doubt and faith at the same time. Girlies, I'm ruined

6. C'est Comme Ça, Paramore

In a single year I've aged one hundred My social life a chiropractic appointment Sit still long enough to listen to yourself Or maybe just long enough for you to atrophy to hell ... I know that regression is rarely rewarded I still need a certain degree of disorder I hate to admit, getting better is boring But the high cost of chaos Who can afford it?

I love Kristen, and I think her arc this season is extremely relatable; currently, 90% of what she does are bits, and I KNOW it's a coping mechanism, but STILL, WHY ARE YOU SO MESSY. I love you; keep being 17, but god, keep your clothes on and stop going to the steel plants girlie you're gonna give Riz a heart attack

#dimension 20 #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #d20 #d20 fhsy #fantasy mixtapes #kristen applebees #d20 kristen applebees #fhjy spoilers #d20 fhjy #ally beardsley #Spotify

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marta-bee · 15 days ago

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News of the Day 6/26/25: Affordable Housing

Paywall free.

The gist:

Point Source Youth’s first-of-its-kind program gave one-time cash payments between $645 and $9,900 to young people at imminent risk of losing their housing. They were able to use that money to cover housing costs, food or other bills — affording them the flexibility to use the money where they needed it most. The program launched in seven states, including New York. Results shared with Gothamist show 97% of New York City youth who participated in the pilot program last year said they remained stably housed 30 days after receiving their payment. Nationally, 90% were stably housed after a month and 93.5% who have so far responded say they avoided homelessness for three months after receiving the payment.

Financially, it makes sense. Cheaper than even a month of a NYC shelter, and it gives them the ability to use the money for what they need. Reminds me of the Sam Vimes boot theory:

The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money. Take boots, for example. He earned thirty-eight dollars a month plus allowances. A really good pair of leather boots cost fifty dollars. But an affordable pair of boots, which were sort of OK for a season or two and then leaked like hell when the cardboard gave out, cost about ten dollars. Those were the kind of boots Vimes always bought, and wore until the soles were so thin that he could tell where he was in Ankh-Morpork on a foggy night by the feel of the cobbles. But the thing was that good boots lasted for years and years. A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that’d still be keeping his feet dry in ten years’ time, while the poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet.

I have my qualms. I wish it was the government doing it rather than a private charity, that it was being done at scale; and it doesn't actually address the ridiculously high price of housing, it just lets more people access the market. But compared to some of the less constructive takes on the problem.... gimme.

More housing-related news below the cut.

New York, LA, and, Just for Funnsies ... Wisconsin?

Clearing encampments looks good politically. But criminalizing homelessness is bad policy (Paywall Free)

California school enrollment continues to drop as poor and homeless student numbers rise (PF)

'I'm not going anywhere': For one Altadena fire survivor, the math makes sense to rebuild (PF)

This housing complex is home to 25K New Yorkers. Their costs are about to soar. (PF)

How Hotels, Once a Last Resort, Became New York’s Default Answer to Homelessness (PF)

NYC landlords can’t require tenants to pay broker fees anymore (PF)

Mamdani’s Rent-Freeze Agenda Sparks Slide in NYC-Linked REITs (PF)

Will Zohran Mamdani’s Housing Plan Actually Work in New York City?

WSJ: New Yorkers Vote to Make Their Housing Shortage Worse. Austin, Texas, and other red-state cities have set an example for how to make housing markets work (PF)

Unhoused LGBTQ Youth Are Finding Both Shelter and Community Through This Wisconsin Organization (PF)

How Tech Can Make It Excruciatingly Hard to Apply for a Job While Homeless (PF)

Broader Issues and Tentative Solutions

The downsides of 'coliving,' the new shared housing industry (PF)

One Solution to the Housing Crisis Is in Plain Sight: The shortage can be addressed not through costly new development but by reusing existing buildings. (PF)

How Democratic and Republican mayors are teaming up to address the housing crisis

Could a bold anti-poverty experiment from the 1960s inspire a new era in housing justice? (PF)

'We're in a holding pattern': Home sales and building slump in the face of uncertainty

US Renters Face Storm of Rising Costs. A building boom has helped slow rent increases. But affordable apartments remain scarce, and higher energy costs and cuts to housing aid further cloud the forecast. (PF)

Should Democrats fight corporations or red tape? Bad question. (PF)

An analysis by Realtor.com of the top 50 housing markets in the United States found only three are considered affordable for median earners. (PF)

In America, Low-Wage Jobs Are ‘Homelessness Waiting to Happen’ (PF)

And Because Of Course We'd Have to Get There Eventually: Donald Trump

Low-income homeowners hit by disasters may get less help from the government, as Trump administration nixes rules on fairness, community input and resilience (PF)

As Housing Costs Go Up, HUD Proposes a 51 Percent Budget Cut (PF)

Tariffs are pushing up remodeling costs. Here's how to save money. (PF)

The Trump administration is working on a plan for time limits on rental aid

A federal law helps homeless students get an education. Trump's budget could weaken it

Here’s how mass deportations could change the housing market (PF)

#us politics #donald trump #homelessness #housing #gnu terry pratchett #news of the day

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stuft · 2 months ago

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blahhhhhh

I had a really good road trip worked out to visit my friends in Kentucky. You're welcome anytime, he said, so I put together dates and realized on my way back I could catch a Cincinnati/Milwaukee game in Cinci to see my man Rhys Hoskins and then a couple days later see the Phillies in Pittsburgh before heading home. Then my friend said oh well J's mother is going to be here around then, I'll have to check. Waited a few days and then asked if he found out for sure and he just said she'd be there around the last weekend in May (that was as specific as he got). so I just said OK and left it at that. So like is the invitation just lip service or what. In the fall I was thinking about going out there maybe beginning of November and it was oh we're going to FL and then it's too close to the holidays. So this time I thought well maybe I'll stay in a hotel bc that might be more comfortable for me anyway at this stage of my life, and then I thought well the whole point was to see him and hang out, so like...why am I going all that way? also they might not want to also deal with me at the same time as her mom? idk (they are living in the mom's house but she moved away and comes back for doctor's appointments and such). The Reds/Brewers game I'd probably be able to take in with a different friend. And on my way out I was gonna stop in Charleston WV overnight and meet up with yet another friend (who I've never met in person, so this would just be like to take him out for coffee or something).

But once again I am probably just going to scrap the whole thing. It's been a while since I've been on a road trip, for starters, and second of all it will cost a bunch of money especially with all hotels, then my boss just texted me asking for more help, and finally I am just reassessing this 40 year friendship (for like the 40th time for different reasons). I don't know but between this 'visit hoax' and some of my other friends around here, I just am not that important to anyone. It's my own fault too, or I should say it's not -not- my fault. I'm not going to get all navel gazey about my nature but I'm a pretty emotionally closed off person for whatever reason(s). Honest and real but not deeply emotional with anyone. But these days I am just a friendship of convenience. I'm good for a free meal or an invitation to a free concert or whatever but sometimes I feel like if I didn't do the asking I'd disappear off anyone's radar. Unless of course they needed me for something. Good old reliable Ruth. Last resort Ruth.

So anyway, yeah, my boss sent me a long text and one request is one cat visit the 1st weekend in June, and I'm like well you know what. Maybe I should just say yes to all these things and just make a few dollars (and I mean a few) and once again not leave the area unless/until I fly on a plane the fuck out of here. Which honestly why the fuck shouldn't I? Other than laziness and all the shit I own and am so attached to, there is not a whole hell of a lot keeping me here. And things just keep getting worse and worse. But of course I always worry about money and that sort of safety. What if I move overseas and I decide to come back, I'd never be able to afford to live around here again and if not where would I go and I'd have gotten rid of all my stuff and what if what if what if? How do people make these huge life decisions with the mindset of jump and the net will appear? I guess people either have nothing to lose or they have a big support system. And as always I am middle of the road Ruth. But then I think well you know what, if things get dire I can always like become a nun in some religious order or other. I certainly have the celibacy thing down pat, that's no problem. If I'm provided with food and a place to sleep and maybe medical care, what else is there. But why am I also playing out all these what ifs so far in advance? Why do I always do that?

I don't know, I need a shower. I wonder where that mouse is.

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chacolachao · 3 months ago

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Hey I got a question about the charms and stuff on your Etsy page if you don't mind! Do you make the charms yourself or do you go through a service/company that makes them for you? I've been wanting to start selling charms and stickers and stuff but have no idea how people go about doing it in a way where they still earn profit after the things are made lol

For stickers, I've been printing those on my own sticker paper via Office Depot and praying lol. I haven't offered stickers lately tho because they keep printing with extra margins making the reference marks misaligned for the cutter to read :/

The rest of this is looong:

So, altho I think using a service for stickers is too much upfront, they atleast won't have problems like that~

Charms, however, are much harder and easier to get wrong so I sent the files over to Vograce to make and then send me. I usually only order a minimum of 16 items (their minimum is 3 items for most things) each design

Their clear acrylic charms are $2.82 - $4.02 each (depending on size), but shipping on top of that is the killer that probably would make a small 3 item order super expensive. Generally you'd want to maximize your shipping cost by ordering more items and praying you make the money back by up charging a bit.

My last order from them cost $2.04 (x16) and $2.02 (x16) so $64.90 plus a whopping $22.11 for shipping. There was a $3.25 discount at the end (yippee -_-)

So if I wanted to make even, each charm would have to be sold at $2.61!

At this point you'd say, wow youre up charging a lot then, your charms are set to $5 with $3 shipping. (The shipping goes to USPS not me)And you'd be right in thinking I'm making a lot of money. But be warned, it's priced like that because I know for a fact half that order is not going to sell and will sit on my couch forever lol.

That's the harsh part, there's a lot of upfront cost that has a high probability of not ever being made back. The 16 that I knew were going to make it, at $5 made $80/$83.76, which is a loss but there was no way I was ever going to push those charms higher than that.

If maybe the other ones were going to sell well then I would have them waay lower, or have them at a higher price and say domestic shipping is free. It looks really bad to me to have the shipping cost be higher than the actual item (and international orders do cost triple the original value). I try to add something extra to those high shipping orders cuz it does feel bad to see a $13 shipping for a $5 item :/

Is really tough and you'll definitely end up losing money but- if you can figure out a happy middle ground where your designs sell at a good price that leaves u and your customers happy then you'll do ok.

To be honest, I'm trying to move into things I can make at home like little clay figures since all the upfront cost would be taken care of for the start of it. So I'd like to at least sell one moonin charm before I pack those up lol

#ask #vograce #art shop #thanks for this ask #i also would rather not use a company that works like a sweat shop to make my things #i dont have evidence of this but it does make me feel uneasy

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salad-006 · 1 year ago

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Wait how did you do the eddsworld vhs tape and may I do it too

Ok first off im not associated with eddsworld, so im not really one to ask if you Can. Technically it is bootlegging, but as long as it remains something you only have for personal use i dont think they'll care too much. Like its vhs, no ones profiting off of vhs bootlegs anymore. Multiple members of the crew saw my tape and I've received zero cease and desists

I documented the entire process so i plan on making a video out of it eventually, but in the meantime here was the basic idea

Its actually pretty easy to record footage onto tape. It's just Very finicky. all you need is a specific hdmi to av adapter, a vcr, a tape (obviously) and a computer

I used this video for learning the actual recording process, which was pretty useful given this was my first time trying anything like this. They also link the specific adapter in the video so you can get it there.

A few tips

Keep footage under 2 hours. If you're using a blank tape that's usually the limit unless you record in LP/SLP mode, both of which will give you worse-looking footage

Crop everything down to fit a 4:3 aspect ratio, then stretch the footage back out to fill the screen. When you're recording on the tape it captures your entire screen, and will simply squish it all down to fit the aspect ratio. Even when I set my computer monitor to the same ratio it still left me with black borders, so stretching it out is your best bet

Save the video at 60fps. While i havent had issues with it myself, I've been told that anything lower can cause issues with the visuals. I had mine set at 60 and i had no issues, so if possible I'd suggest that

Have a blank section at the beginning and end of the footage. The greatest enemy you'll meet in doing this is having the stupid media player menu pop up and botch the whole recording. Having a few seconds of nothing at the beginning gives you time to make sure the menu goes away before you hit record.

I also had a few seconds of dead air inbetween episodes, which helped greatly because i actually had problems with the audio getting out of sync. Rather than start over from the beginning i was able to start over from the beginning of episodes without there being a noticeable cut

That should be enough i think. As a whole the project was pretty expensive, just coming over a hundred bucks when you combined the prices for the case, sticker, tape, etc. I probably could've saved money buying cheaper stuff (or not shipping it all to me) but regardless, personalizing the tape further than just slapping episodes onto a tape is gonna cost some cash. Just as a warning

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verfound · 2 years ago

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MINIFIC: Oct. 23: Day 25: Doll (MLB, Lukanette, DLM AU)

For @lovebugs-and-snakecharmers October Minific Challenge 2023.

Read on Ao3

To Feel Alive Again: Ch25: Doll

“You make dolls?” he asked, his eyebrows lifting.

“Made,” she corrected, then paused as she considered. “Well. I guess I still could. Technically. The knowledge is still there. Crafting tends to be a little outside my budget these days, though.”

She was fingering the hem of the sweater as she said it, giving him a Look he did well to ignore. He always did that, every time she tried to bring up how much work or money something like the sweater would cost. Every time she tried to bring up repaying him.

“Why do you think I have so many jobs?” he teased, and she rolled her eyes. She actually hadn’t seen him working that many jobs. He was out and about most of the day – she knew that much – but she thought that was all just…dogs. Unless he considered each dog he walked an individual ‘job’? “Anyway, that’s cool. Think you could make something for Bach?”

“…Luka, no,” she said, shaking her head. At his confused expression, she gestured to the giant dog in front of them. “He’d just chew it up! Dog dolls - toys – are made to be destroyed. My dolls are made to be loved.”

“Ok, then,” he said, stopping as Bach paused to sniff a bench and consider if he was ready to go to the bathroom yet or not. “Can you make me a doll?”

“You?” she asked. He nodded.

“A Bach doll,” he said. He grinned at her. “You can use that super chunky yarn for his fur. The type that looks like ropes?”

“Why do you want a Bach doll?” she asked, frowning. “He’s big enough, Luka. It’s not like you’re gonna lose him.”

“Dogs don’t do so well, when they lose people,” he said. “People don’t do so well, when they lose dogs, but dogs take it harder, I think. You’re their whole world, and then you’re gone.”

“You’re not going anywhere, Luka,” she said, reaching for his hand. He squeezed it, smiling softly at her. “You’ve only been dead ten years. No way you’ve met your quota yet.”

“I’m not, but I’m just his buddy. I’m not his maman,” he said. Marinette looked back at the dog to see he had finally decided to do his business. His back was turned towards them. She glanced back at Luka to see he was watching Bach with a pensive stare, too. Like there was something he was holding back from her. “I just…have a feeling. And maybe I want something of him to keep with me.”

“Luka?” she asked, squeezing his hand. He didn’t respond as he fished a cleanup bag out of his pocket. She watched as he knelt by Bach, scratching at his ears. She swallowed and nodded. “Yeah, I can…I can make you something.”

“Thanks, Marinette,” he said, his tone distracted, and she nodded.

“No problem.”

#miraculous ladybug #luka couffaine #marinette dupain-cheng #lukanette #lukanette endgame #endgame lukanette #bach the dog #ml fic #ver fic #lbsc october minifics 2023 #to feel alive again #dead like me au #dlm lukanette au

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bastardcherub · 2 years ago

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HI I LOVE SAWYER

-I'm so curious what Harper did to him bc ur wording intrigued me jxhd

-does he like to be around anyone specific? like platonically or as a love interest or anything. also, you mentioned him working at the farms so I'm curious how he gets along with Alex!

-i want to paint his nails and tell him how pretty he is, n maybe smear his lipstick after,,,

I’m so curious what Harper did to him bc ur wording intrigued me jxhd

Sawyer has been to the asylum. He's an emotional guy and this town swallows people like him whole. It took more and more of him till he couldn't handle it anymore.

Harper found his emotional sensitivity to be very concerning, and became very focused on Sawyer's recovery.

Sawyer became convinced that his is at fault for the bad things that happen to himself and to others (to an extent). With his newly developed and extreme sense of guilt, he tries even harder to keep to himself to avoid causing more problems. Since the more people notice him and pick fights with him, the more it proves his point that he's the issue.

He doesn't want to hurt people... But his whole existence seems to attract the type of trouble that ends in pain... It's him. That's the only explanation... Right?

Well... His isolation, medication, and weekly therapy sessions have certainly resulted in his trauma levels staying in a manageable state! And all it took was some brainwashing new age treatment options and intentional isolation and dependency on Harper and his medication removing harmful outside influences combined with soothing medication! (...And a couple of virginities that Sawyer isn't aware he's lost. But that is just the cost of Harper considering you a fascinating specimen.)

—

does he like to be around anyone specific? like platonically or as a love interest or anything. also, you mentioned him working at the farms so I'm curious how he gets along with Alex!

ok this is something I’ve sorta avoided thinking abt bc I’m not sure actually HDBDBDJD so let me just. do some character development real quick.

ok conclusion: honestly, he really does keep to himself :( I know You didn’t ask abt who Sawyer DOESNT like being around, but I’m still gonna keep my rambles HAHA

Robin and Sawyer’s relationship is complicated. Robin adores Sawyer, is always so nice to him and so caring. Sawyer doesn’t understand why he looks up to him so much. especially after his time at the asylum, the way Robin looks at him just fills him with so much guilt. He’s not the person Robin thinks he is. but he doesn’t want to hurt him by shattering his hope. so he stays distant, trying not to harm but also not further feed this delusion. but he’s always kind. he feels so very protective over Robin. he’s been nothing but good to Sawyer, even when he doesn’t deserve it. so he doesn’t even think twice when taking on Robins debt. it’s the least he can do.

Sawyer might get along with Sydney, but for that they’d have to interact enough shebdbdd well, he might study in the library sometimes, but he doesn’t borrow books. maybe once or twice over the break, but he doesn’t exactly chat with Sydney when he does. but like. two quiet awkward loners? I’d honestly like to see that SHDBDBDN

funnily enough. when it comes to who he likes being around most it might just happen to be Alex. Alex just expects him to do his best on the farm. he’s allowed to come and go and take breaks whenever - a huge difference to his work at the docks. the farm might not make him that much money right now, but it’s close enough to what he made at the docks, and it’s a lot more peaceful. sometimes he sits down with Alex for a break, and it’s almost nice. he doesn’t ask any invasive questions, and Sawyer is happy to nod along anything he tells him about himself. all in all, his first few weeks working on the farm have been some of the nicest he’s had in a while. hard work, yes, but he feels respected and appreciated.

—

i want to paint his nails and tell him how pretty he is, n maybe smear his lipstick after,,,

I’m not sure how You’d get that lipstick on him unless You kiss it onto him ahevebajan at least while he’s still in denial over liking it

but the nails? You could probably get him to join by saying pleeeeaaaaseee with puppy dog eyes and guilting him a bit HSBEBNASKSN like. “but I have no one else to do it with 🥺” would probably be enough HAHAHAHAHA he’s such a fucking softie

if You tell him how pretty he is? oh he is BLUSHING blushing. his guard was fucking DOWN. he’s just sitting here getting his nails painted???? probably a bit too fascinated by how the colour looks on his nails??? and then You call him PRETTY??????? this man’s brain has short-circuited. maybe manages to stutter out a “t-thank You?” but. he’s useless. congratulations, pip. You broke him.

he is NOT forgetting this moment. ever. especially not the coming days, as he looks down at his cracking polish. and then once it’s gone, still, every once in a while, looking at his plain nails and remembering how the colour looked against his skin.

pretty.

#THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS PIPPY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MWAH #THANK YOU FOR FALLING FOR MY BAIT SHBEJEJANBDBDNF #I WANTED TO TALK ABT IT SO FUCKING BAD LMAOOO #AND THANK YOU FOR ASKING EVEN MORE 🥺🥺🥺🥺💘💘💘💘#AHHH #LOVE YOU!!#pip-n-chips #asks #sawyer

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eternalmayfly · 2 years ago

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🔧Peace Through Superior Fire Power

Here it is! I finally put it down into words. It's a bit of a jumbled mess of random thoughts and I apologize for that but here is the story of my S/I Seven and Vash. Please let me know what you think about it! How she feels about Meryl, Milly and Wolfwood are also mentioned in here. This post is ok to reblog!

CW: Mentions of alcoholism, blood, wounds, mentions of sex. Ask me to tag if you need anything tagged!

Seven’s story before meeting Vash:

Seven grew up in a large family with 12 other siblings. Due to the large size of her family, she was very reclusive. Most of her time was spent reading or tinkering to keep away from loud, screaming children. It should be noted that despite this, she adores her family above all else. Her family means the world to her. She left home at 16 to pursue an internship as an engineer in Augusta. She left without taking much money with her, so Seven was really scraping by on the small amounts of commission she got from her internship or taking up random jobs around the city. At one point, her desperate jobs cost her her eye, which she replaced with one she created herself.

Their first meeting and beyond:

Since everyone on Gunsmoke knows "Vash the Stampede," she was well informed on all the rumors about him. Much like everyone else, she believed there was no way a single man could actually reduce an entire city to ashes in one night and assumed all rumors about him were exaggerated. It wasn’t until her mentor told her about the custom gun that the "Humanoid Typhoon" carries that she became interested. While everyone else was after him for the $60 billion dollar bounty, she wanted that gun. So when Vash the Stampede rolled into town, she took her chance and made off with his gun. Of course he noticed instantly and chased her down until she gave it back, but that didn’t stop her. Seven is incredibly stubborn. Despite giving his gun back, she attempted this multiple days in a row. After the 4th time, Vash had enough and was about ready to hand her over to the sheriff, but the two of them struck a deal. Vash would let her study his gun, and in exchange, she would repair it.

Seven did such an excellent job at repairing it that Vash was thoroughly impressed. Most people he took it to would complain it was too complex to repair, but she had it back to normal in record time. Another deal was agreed upon with them where he would bring her parts from his trips and she would fix his gun every time. It worked in Seven’s favor, as Vash would often bring large hauls back with him, meaning she didn’t need to spend money on spare parts.

This exchange lasted for a couple of years while the two became friends. Seven thought it strange that she continued to grow but Vash never changed in appearance, but she chose not to question it. Her hard labor and simple joy of drinking spiraled into a bit of a drinking problem for her once she turned 21. Vash would often bring a bottle of whiskey with him as well as parts for payments, and she would chug the whole bottle in an hour.

It started to change between them when Vash drunkenly stumbled into her home one day. He was drenched in blood, and his coat was torn in multiple places. He was so wasted that she couldn’t understand a single word he said. She quickly took him in and roughly patched up his wounds to the best of her ability using torn cloth and alcohol. Seven was very aware that Vash had no one else to turn to. Anyone would kill him for the price on his head. This was the first time she saw just how badly scarred he was. Seeing multiple chunks of his flesh simply missing made her gag, but she held strong once she saw Vash look violently insecure about all of it. It was the first time they had a real heart-to-heart where Vash talked about his refusal to kill anyone, the reasons why he can’t stop moving, and the things that scared him. Seven listened to all of it, and on that day she realized all the rumors about "Vash the Stampede" really were overdramatic. She saw Vash for who he really was: A "man" who wants to protect everyone on the planet and spread a message of peace and equality.

Their meetings started turning from gun repairs to simply hanging out. She offered her home as a safe place for him to stay when he wanted a break from being on the run. During this time, she was introduced to Meryl, Milly, and Wolfwood, with whom she became good friends. Wolfwood and her butt heads a bit, but she was thankful there was someone out there looking out for Vash. Vash had made it clear that Seven was never allowed to go with them, and she was okay with following this rule. She knew how dangerous it was to follow him around, and she wasn’t ready to risk her life like that.

One night when Vash visits alone, the two of them get a bit too drunk, and it gets handsy between them. They end up sleeping together, and it makes things a little awkward between them. Seven begins to realize she has feelings for Vash, but Vash is terrified of commitment. They try to move past the event, but each time they hang out again, the air feels tense as their feelings for each other get stronger and stronger, even though they stay quiet about it.

Fast forward a bit, and the Augusta incident happens. Seven and many others thankfully escaped due to Vash’s vigilance in scaring everyone out of town, but as she sees the town reduced to ashes in the distance, she’s horrified to know Vash is still in there. Seven, Meryl, and Milly were all forced to watch in horror, not knowing if Vash was even alive anymore. She chose to go with the insurance girls, as her home had now been destroyed and the man she was in love with was now missing.

The three temporarily settled down in Jenora Rock. During this time, Seven’s mental health started to spiral. Vash was hated even more, as not only had he leveled a second city, but he blew a hole into the 5th moon. Every Time she walked outside, someone would be gossiping about Vash, usually in a nasty manner. Her drinking problem became much worse because of this. Meryl and Milly would often find her passed out in the streets in the middle of the night after drinking her sorrows away.

Despite her drinking problem, she was able to get herself a small home and a job in Jenora Rock, making it her new home. A while after settling in, Milly brings her a letter from Wolfwood in which he says he has something she’s going to want to see. Seven is fearing the worst—that Wolfwood found something that signified Vash was dead.

What she didn’t expect was for Wolfwood to knock on her door late one night, bringing with him a man with long blonde hair and a scruffy beard. As soon as he greeted her, she knew it was Vash. She threw herself at him and punched him as hard as she could in the stomach (making him double over in pain), but then proceeded to hug him and cry as hard as she could.

She hurled insults at him while he held her and comforted her. Wolfwood left to give them room and speak with the insurance girls.

From there, Vash tells her the truth about him. That he’s not human, that his brother is after him and all the humans, and that he has to stop him. He talks about how, after the Augusta incident, he spent the time living a hidden life as a man named Eriks because he wasn’t ready to face the world. Unfortunately, Wolfwood wasn’t going to let him keep that peaceful life, but he knew it was for the best. He realizes from the obscene amount of empty beer bottles that Seven’s drinking problem had worsened while he was gone.

Seven is normally closed off, but already tipsy and shaken by Vash’s reappearance, she spills her guts. She’s nearly in tears the entire time, insulting him for leaving all of them unaware if he was alive or not. The way she speaks causes Vash to break down as well. He admits the same feelings but keeps saying he’s scared because people who get close to him always get killed. The two have lots of back and forth with tears, laughter, and stories before they end up sleeping together once again.

After it, they hold each other, and that’s where their relationship starts. Vash keeps the harsh ground rule that she is never to follow him or get in his way, and she agrees. All she knows is that when he holds her, she sees some happiness form in his dark, cloudy eyes, and all she wants to do is give him the life she knows he deserves.

He’s more than "Vash the Stampede" or "The Humanoid Typhoon." He is a broken man, backed into a corner by the world.

#🔧Peace Through Superior Fire Power #ok to rb #rambles #self ship #f/o post #seven #self ship community #selfship #self ship story

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girljeremystrong · 2 years ago

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Ramble inbound, your tags made me think :) personally I love how cold rava can be towards ken. I really enjoy that aspect of her character, IMO it tells us everything we need to know about the progression of their relationship up to when we first meet them. I would think her coldness is a direct result of Kendall being an almost entirely absent father & husband for years upon years, one who makes no genuine effort to meaningfully reach out & connect to her or his kids, who instead tries to develop closeness by centering his life & asking her to play the role he envisions for her as Wife Of The Waystar Royco CEO. She clearly has underlying love for him, I do think she just can’t let go of her fondness for him, but he chooses work over family 100% of the time (always in the Kendall Roy: CEO Of Waystar mindset, and never the mindset of Kendall Roy: Husband And Father) and she’s just tired of fighting upstream with him. Cos let’s be honest Kenny is very stubborn and doesn’t take no for an answer when he’s decided what he wants. He has this pattern with his other flings too, that girl he whisked away from the play for example; the way he was always brushing off the consequences she’d face from jumping out of her life and into his, because he thinks he could patch it all up with his money and influence and it’d all be fine. As if the material cost is the problem and not his self centered relationship style. He doesn’t make an effort to truly invest in his partners’ personal lives/priorities/interests outside of the context of the Roy familial corporate structure, because that’s the only environment in which he has any practice connecting with people. He has 0 normal family experience to draw on so he really can’t leave the Roy headspace and connect with his family as a human person. Obviously it’s Logan’s fault that ken has a hard time fostering stable relationships outside of the context of the corporate world, as business IS love to Logan. I think this is why his closest relationships are with people already in the belly of the corporate world (stewi, naomi), and why he doesn’t really Get why she doesn’t want to be with him even if he becomes The Man. This is one of many ways he’s inherited Logan’s worldview. He treats his family much less abrasively than his father (at least until the end when he goes Full Loge and aggressively threatens to sever custody in an attempt to keep his life from crumbling), but even accounting for the extra kindness it’s still the same fundamental way Logan treated his family; narcissistically. Poison drips through innit. So TLDR I think rava’s coldness is justified, from the perspective of a long-embittered ex wife, left to be their children’s sole parent while their father focused exclusively on his work life and the enmeshed family relationships within. Ok that’s all my thoughts hope you enjoy. ^_^

wow this is very eloquent and very well said. fundamentally i agree with everything you said (and you said it very well) especially the point you made about him being way too immersed in the corporate world and being too focused on his role as the man at the top and it's true that he's treated rava like crap and he's been a horrible father BUT consider this: i love him!!!!!

he's my sopping little wet rat who grew up in a very unstable environment with a man who was borderline abusive to him and his siblings while at the same time being promised he was gonna be just like him when he grew up only to be disappointed and castigated time and time again and of course it's on him to learn and grow and be a better man and father than logan but at the same time he was made to think that he had to be this strong cynical unaffected man so that he could be like his father from his childhood and that's difficult!!!! and once more he's a fictional character and i love him!!!!!

of course rava is allowed to be cold and tough towards him and i understand she must have been let down so so many times and she must be so worried about their kids but so many times he went to her for some assurance and she's just always been so stern!!!! i wish my boy could have heard a "good job" from a person he clearly still values in his life

#sorry i just love kendall and think everybody should be nice to him #ask #anonymous

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withered-rose-unbreakable-lotus · 7 days ago

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Whenever I scroll down tiktok and come across Greek relationship themed tik toks I get triggered. Every single time. It's crazy that even on the internet, people have opinions that I myself had to come online to see aren't the same for the rest of the world.

Take chores for example. I dread chores, I hate them with passion. And I have expressed that before. Two of my friends get it (surprisingly the Greek ones (it shows how i ended up being friends with them despite how hard it is for me to connect with other Greeks)), the other has told me it's the first time she sees sb so bothered by doing chores.

That's the thing though. Some people have taken it for granted cause it's part of life, part of being an adult, for me they are a necessary evil. So I will always nag while I'm doing them. And my father can't fathom that either but that's his generation talking. He always jokes like have you no shame nagging about cooking for your family. When we love others we care for them etc etc. First of all, you've cooked for me max 20 times in my 31 years of life, and second of all, I don't know why he still thinks I have feelings for him after everything he's done to me growing up. Yes, I admit, occassionally when I love people, I get this urge to cook sth for them, but it's not every day. That happens maybe once a month.

So yeah there is always the discord of whether men should be doing chores at home when in a relationship. And then many women in the comments saying shit like oh he's working 10 hours a day, the least I can do is take care of the house and kids for him. Firstly, I refuse to become financially dependent on anyone again. 31 years like that and it has cost me my sanity. People who pay for you think they owe you so I might as well refuse to take my man's money and work as well, so that we both have a say in the house. Secondly, the way some women compare 10 hours of office work to 10 hours work at home is beyond me. Sure office work is mentally exhausting, I've mostly done work from a desk as well. But honey telling me that it's more exhausting than waking up, ok ignore the laundry cause that's done by a machine, but dusting, vaccuming, cooking, taking out the trash, changing sheets, going for groceries (and if you don't drive it's worse) and on top of everything taking care of another human being that cannot function by themselves? You must be crazy. No amount of money my guy brings home will have me thinking he can't do SOME chores at home. Or accepting shit like leaving his clothes around when the laundry basket is right there? I won't be cleaning after you, hon. I don't expect you clean after me, so don't expect me clean after you. The only jobs a man can have that will make me think I should do all the housework is if he's working at construction or some storage and carries boxes and heavy weights all day. Otherwise it's 50-50. For me everything is 50-50. Some say you would clean after yourself anyway-BITCH cleaning for one person isn't the same as doing it for more and especially when the other person expects everything to be offered in his hands cause he pays for everything. If you want to treat me like the help, go find some more traditional oriented woman that has no problem with it.

I want full equality at my home. We both bring money in, we both do housework (maybe separate by days). It's the same as having a roomate. You wouldn't expect the roomate that brings more money in to leave all the house management to the other, right? You both have to keep things clean. So I don't get why in relationships it should be like this and why some women are fine with it. I do not show my care through servitude. Acts of service every now and then yes, but daily servitude no. I don't expect it from others and I don't give it back. If sb feels cared for when I'm sweaty, smell chlorine and food and my body aches from trying to keep a house together every day, then he's not for me (and yes I'm aware some chores don't need to be done daily).

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olderjodijournals · 2 months ago

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Wednesday, July 2, 2008

As far as I know, the well hasn’t been fixed yet and we’re still hooked up to the ditch, showering and all that in ditch water. The dumb cock thinks he’s going to fix it himself, but we’ll see about that! Tom said he says the well’s 400’ deep. That’s halfway to Arizona! I knew it had to be deep being on a mountain and all, cuz the water table just can’t be all that high when you’re on a mountain.

Other than a mysterious rash on the insides of my ankles and a bad allergy attack last night, nothing much is going on. Our throats get scratchy from the smoke and Tom says it’s hazy inside the building where he works, but so far there doesn’t seem to be any threat to us and I hope it stays that way!

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Although I dreamt the smoke was so thick you couldn’t see more than 25-50 feet away, and that I found his passport, neither has come to be. Instead, we’ve got another mouse to catch, and the pump Jesse had put in the well yesterday still isn’t doing any good. He thinks it’s dried up and that he’ll need to have a new one drilled. Sure enough, Maryann, who I spoke to earlier, said there hasn’t been a problem in years. Figures, huh? The pump was down there for 16 years. In other words, we’re the ones that jinxed the damn thing with the breakage curse that’s been on us forever now. We learned through the burst pipes and fucked up refrigerator in Oregon that just because we don’t own much right now doesn’t keep us safe from things breaking more than they should. The good part is that we don’t have to pay for it, just be inconvenienced. When I spoke to Jesse, who ATV’d down here after speaking with Maryann, he said it’d cost him 15-20 grand to drill a new well.

Yup. Guy’s got money. He definitely isn’t going back to work anytime soon, but if his presence will keep the dogs from going on two-hour barking sprees, then fine.

Because the well problems aren’t his fault, I didn’t ask for a rent deduction for next month. But I did ask about the dump. I explained how hard it’d be to get certain things to the dump because we only have a car and because we have nothing to prove we’re residents of this town yet, and he said something about a free ticket he had and that he’d haul some stuff away next time he went.

Meanwhile, he said to keep the outside faucets turned on all the time. I don’t know why Tom, who called to tell me how to turn them on when I emailed him to let him know there was no water, had them turned off. Guess he must’ve thought he’d be shorting Jesse if they were on all the time.

I’m glad to be dealing with problems such as this as opposed to wild neighbors and ferocious car stereos, but I still hope the well’s fixed soon because we can’t drink this water and it’s kind of yucky.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

My rash has gotten worse, so Tom got a special cream for it that says it’ll clear it up in a few days. It’s itchy as hell! It started on the insides of my ankles, but now it’s crept up most of the length of my calves and there are a few spots on the tops of my feet. We still don’t know what caused it. The way it’s isolated to my lower legs suggests something I came in contact with, but what could I possibly have brushed up against that could do this? I haven’t been traipsing around in the woods or anything. If it were a food allergy or the ditch water, then why just pick on my legs? Wouldn’t it be all over me?

Tom wondered if it could be stress, but if that were the case, you’d think I’d have been plenty plastered from head to toe in the motels. I am a little stressed out, though, because they’re getting ready to go out of business at work. Tom says everything will be ok. That’s what he said when we moved down here, I reminded him, but he assures me that was a totally different situation and that there was nothing to worry about. He says we have enough money saved to get us by for a month or a little more if we were careful. Yeah, but I don’t want to have to be that careful. It’s always the transition period that’s the scariest when you’re hanging in limbo. If we had 5 grand saved, then no, I wouldn’t be nervous. I know it probably wouldn’t take more than a couple of weeks for him to find a job, even if it had to be another shitty-paying one, but still, that’s two weeks, plus another week or two that there’d be no income coming in. Our rent isn’t $450, and we now have to pay a fortune in gas, so even just a few weeks without money coming in is scary at least to me. He says he’s eligible for unemployment, though I can’t believe it could be nearly as much as we’d need.

For $10, Tom’s sending a request off to Arizona for a certified copy of his birth certificate. Hopefully, this won’t take long, and hopefully he’ll stumble across his passport, but I doubt it. I think someone connected to the house stole it if Tom didn’t lose it. He has been losing things and being forgetful a lot lately and it gets old. It really does. He’s always so damn disorganized. He also lost the non-certified copy of his birth certificate. It’s like something up there doesn’t want him having any ID! Like it wants to make getting a job harder for him.

Anyway, I just hope whatever’s up there will care enough to look out for us and protect us from yet another financial crisis. We’ve been reduced to that humiliation enough, and there’d be no one to turn to. My parents have obviously decided they don’t want anything to do with me. The only ones who care about us can’t help us. Tom’s right, this is a different situation. Ah, but one thing still hasn’t changed yet and that’s that we never get to stay long in the few nice, peaceful places we’ve had the blessing of residing in. I fear the risk of losing this place is way up there because of how whatever’s up there hates to see us be where we’re happy. But I will not be thrown back into the city again! Then again, if we couldn’t afford to stay here, we couldn’t afford to go anywhere else. This is pretty much as cheap as it gets around here. This would be a much more comfortable place to kill ourselves if we were faced with homelessness, and no one could interfere, but I really, really hope it doesn’t come to that! Sometimes I don’t know what’s worse, being in the middle of a crisis, or fearing we’re going to be!

I guess our latest mouse visitor decided we weren’t worth coming to visit now that we’ve hidden our food from it, cuz I can’t believe it would miss every single trap that I’ve got set up in here.

In the city it’s firecrackers for July 4th, in the country it’s gunshots! Yeah, we could hear them off in the distance. I just hope we get to stay here longer than a few months to a few years (unless we win enough to buy a house)!

Later…

Another day of disrupted sleep. First my rash, which is finally getting better (I think), woke me up. Then as I was falling back asleep I heard that fucking ATV. The sound reflects off the mountain and makes it seem much louder than it really is. This time the stupid cock had yet another leak and it turned out that he had a valve set wrong. So once again I had to be put out by his stupidity. He had wanted to let us know that if we heard anyone prowling around, it was only him. I guess he filled his tank last night which holds 1500 gallons, then because he had things set up wrong, the water got pushed out of the tank and back down into the ditch. We’re still hooked to the ditch water, but in two days I’ll have to be put out yet again cuz the asshole’s gonna hook us up to the well at that point when it’s had enough recovery time.

I’m so sick of having to see or hear him! We can’t even go two weeks without something going on. It’s still way worth living here for the peace and quiet I get when I am awake, but I wonder if we’ll ever get to go a whole month without him coming down here. I doubt it, though.

We got a kick out of his saying he’s been so worried over the well that he hasn’t been able to sleep. Good. He’s fucking with my sleep so it serves him right to get a taste of his own medicine!

Another thing I’m sick of is the responsibility having to fall on me to get my own prizes. I’m not going to bother fighting for the Karmaloop shopping spree. That one just isn’t worth the effort. But I do intend to fight for those Apple cards.

The good news is that I’m still 142 pounds and have regained a lot of my mobility since leaving the motel. I can once again sit down on the floor in Indian style position with no hands and have lost a lot of the joint soreness I had accumulated from sitting in that damn room. Losing weight and being more active have really helped a lot. Starting tomorrow I’m going to adjust my diet from 1200 calories to 1000 and see if I can lose any more weight. If not, I’ll be ok with staying where I’m at so long as I don’t gain any more. Being fit is more important to me than being skinny.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

The fires in Big Sur are still out of control and we can smell the smoke even though it’s over 100 miles away.

I thought a loud motor woke me up, but Tom said there wasn’t a sound at all. So now Jesse’s waking me up in my dreams?! Well, I’m sure he will for real tomorrow if the well’s been behaving. Then within 10 days, there’ll be something else. Fortunately, he’s not going to do the deck or the washroom, but he’ll be down to finish the roof before it rains, so in a couple of months. Oh, to be able to go a couple of months without him coming down here! We saw the owners of the Oregon house all of 4 times in the 2 years we were there, but we’ve had to see Jesse a dozen or so times already and we haven’t even been here 3 months yet! Is there something else behind these additions/repairs/problems? Curiosity? Loneliness?

God, please let me win us a house of our own!

Other than that, all is running smoothly enough, but at a rather high temperature. It’s to be over 100º for the next 5 days or more.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

I reassured Mary that she’ll only be known as “Mary” and nothing about her case will be mentioned in my journals at this time. She says that although she trusts me with her life, her friend Shirley is going to check it out regularly. Great, another fan! As I told her, anyone is invited to check out my writing as well as my photo albums on Webshots. Her friend Nathan is going to send her some of my pictures which is nice. I told her to be sure to describe the ones he sends so I don’t send the same ones in, and yes, I shall be sending some soon! The Apple cards are on their way.

Although they laid off 4 out of 12 people at work, Tom was not one of them. To save the company money, though, he has to take 4 unpaid days off in July, then he gets 4 vacation days in August. I just hope he’s gone by then! Gone to a more secure job with benefits that’s closer to home. Better yet, I wish I could win enough money to not only buy a house outright but to get him out of work for a while! I’d need to win 300K in order to do this. With 100K we wouldn’t have much left over after taxes.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

The smoke out there is a little scary. It seems worse lately yet there still aren’t any fires around here. Tom says it’s horrible in Rocklin. The moon had an eerie amber glow to it last night rather than the usual whitish-gray tones. I usually don’t smell the smoke with the cooler going which has a really good filter as opposed to the one we had in Phoenix, yet I awoke nervous in the middle of my sleep yesterday afternoon because I could smell it. I even got up to look out the window to make sure the haziness hadn’t worsened.

I wonder if my folks, who were always news junkies, are the least bit concerned over how we’re doing and whether or not the fires are affecting us. I guess they must not be or else they’d have written. Just why did they save us last fall anyway? It’s weird, alright. It’s like they don’t not care enough to want to see me dead, but they don’t care enough to stay in touch. I know it’s better this way, though, because it is very important to them (well, to her) that I be just like them, which I can never be. I can only be who I am. I think she’s come to realize that too, and to understand that sending little “Do Not Do or Discuss” lists won’t make me what she wants me to be. At last, she has learned to ignore rather than to try to change or control people - wow! I didn’t think she ever would. I mean, that is if I’m correct in assuming that that’s the reason I haven’t heard from her; because I said too many things in my letters she didn’t want to hear. I can’t think of any other reason and I don’t think I should waste my time trying to figure out just what makes those people tick. Even if I could figure them out, it wouldn’t change a thing.

On the other hand, they’re probably figuring they’re going to hear from me any day now. In my last letter to them which I sent from the motel, I told them I would contact them once we were settled, although it would be a while. But once we got to half a year with no word from them was when I decided to stop writing to those who don’t respond. That includes Paula as well. I sent the new address and phone number, so it’s up to her to call or not to call, although she could very well be in jail. You never know with her.

Yesterday we could hear some hammering and a saw whirring that was definitely coming from in back. It started early in the morning and I assumed Jesse was having the well worked on. He hasn’t been down to hook us back up to the well yet. But hammering and sawing? Why would you need to do that to fix a well or to drill a new one? Although I couldn’t see a thing through the trees, I just hope no one’s building a house back there! If I could hear hammering and saws, then I could certainly hear barking.

We were worried the refrigerator was broken. It failed to come on for a while. Apparently, something got shaken loose, but after Tom moved things around it was fine. That would’ve been the fourth refrigerator in less than a year and a half between the two that crapped out in Oregon, the leaky motel one, and this one!

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Blackie, who I sometimes refer to as the candy striper cuz he loves sweets and has a distinct stripe running down his back, has definitely warmed up to me more than Brownie. All Brownie really likes to do is run around loose in the living room and abuse his freedom by not going home when I tell him to. He only goes home when he feels like it. All my candy striper really wants to do is stay home and eat, though he does shyly come up to me for attention at times. They both still don’t want to be handled.

When Brownie’s out when Tom’s at his computer, he goes up and tugs on his toe occasionally. He does the same thing when he’s lounging on the futon. Now that he’s climbing on that, I don’t let him out when Tom’s sleeping. He used to only run along the wall his cage is on, but now he’s infatuated with the opposite wall. I dragged the cage into the bedroom so he could run around in there, but instead, they just stayed home, played tackle, and stunk up the room. There’s no air cleaner in there.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Yesterday morning we went out to pick up the mail and got the Apple cards! We also browsed through Long’s Drug and they had these really beautiful crystals that are ever so dazzlingly shiny! A little pricey for such little gems, but I’ll probably get one someday. Instead, I just got Tempt Me body spray, one of my favorites.

Then, after grabbing a few things from the grocery store, Tom dropped me off and took off a couple of hours later to check the Carmichael box and go to the Apple store in this mall we almost went to when we first moved here. I wouldn’t go in it, though, cuz it was such a zoo. It turned out to be nothing but a waste of time, money and gas. There was nothing but junk at the mail place, and nothing in the Apple store either which took him forever just to get into, it was such a circus.

So this morning he ordered from Apple’s site and got us a color laser printer and a couple of Macs, one refurbished. One Mac will arrive at the end of the week, another next week, then the printer the week after that. While I’m not looking forward to breaking in a new computer and having to configure and reformat things, I’m sick of all the incompatibility problems I’ve been having which will make it worth it. Every time I get an update on something it fucks up or alters something else. But with Macs, everything’s run by the same company so I shouldn’t have so many conflicts with everything being made to work together.

When Tom was browsing through forums online to see what others were saying about Robo and Macs, a few OLSers were bragging about how they’ve won “hundreds” of dollars worth of stuff in the few years they’ve been sweeping, while in the few years I’ve been sweeping I’ve won over 30 grand’s worth. Guess not everyone’s psychic!

I had a dream last night that’s either just a tease like the horse dreams were, or a sign that I’m in for a hell of a surprise to come! I dreamt we were just moving into a place and I had my Barbies spread out all over the floor. Tom came into the room and asked, “So, have you got it all figured out yet?”

I looked up at him, nodded and said, “Yeah, I think I’m going to put 5 on the ledges on top of each window.”

Well, seeing that I have about 60 Barbies, that’d be a hell of a lot of windows! As in a pretty big house, two of which I’m entering sweeps for right now. The odds have got to be astronomical, psychic or not, but I’m doing daily house prayers and spells until the contests end between the end of this month and the middle of next.

Not that I’m complaining, but strangely enough, neither Tom nor I have heard the dogs in about a week now. It’s been in the 90s, but I haven’t even heard them in the middle of the night when it’s cooler. Somehow I doubt Jesse, any more than most Westerners, cared to take them indoors cuz of the smoke, even if there hasn’t been as much of it for a couple of days. I was just out doing laundry and it’s just oh-so peaceful and lovely! I did hear dogs off in the distance, but that’s about it. The only thing dampening how much I love it here is knowing that we don’t own the land and that the winters may be more extreme than I’d like, even if they won’t be as fierce as Oregon or Massachusetts.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Wow, I guess I’m getting to be a more popular Kiwi author. I decided to create another journal and post my last story after all, and I already have a subscriber! She’s 28, bi, living in Nebraska. I thanked her for the nice feedback, wished her luck with her own story, and let her know I’d be posting other stories over multiple days since we only get so much room per entry. I post a synopsis for each story in the journal description.

Had some killer allergies yesterday and a little bit today, too. I can’t imagine what’s causing them. I just hope they let up real soon!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

I’ve been having fun changing my profile picture every so often. First I had a face shot of myself, then a rat, now a mannequin! Interesting, huh? Maybe a mouse can be next. I change it every couple of weeks or so.

Received more feedback from my loyal fan that was both detailed and insightful. I guess I succeeded in portraying Noelle correctly after all because she described her exactly as I envisioned her to be! Hot, confident, tough, unpredictable and downright scary. A lot of things rolled into one.

I was surprised she thought it was a little long. I always worried it was too short a story. The rest of it will be posted tomorrow, as well as the start of College Romance for which I’ll create a whole new journal. I’ll have a journal for each story, as well as for my daily journal, of course.

Jesse’s coming down to switch us back over to the well tomorrow, and amazingly, I’ll be awake!

Tom has Thursday and Friday off this week. The bad thing is that I worry it’ll hurt our savings, but the good is that we’ll have plenty of new toys to play with during his time off! The printer and one of the computers will be here tomorrow.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Jesse switched us over from the ditch to the well, though he says the tank’s not filling as well as he’d like, whatever that means. So we gotta go easy on the water for a while, not do too much laundry at once, etc. Oh, those rural hassles, but it sure beats city life! It’s nice to be able to drink the water again too, and to have cleaner water in the toilet. That ditch water made the toilet pretty yucky and cleaning it was a bitch.

He’s going to finish the porch roof next week because he’s going back to work which I was glad to hear so long as the dogs don’t become a problem. Tom says he thinks someone will be with them and that someone was there today because he was talking on a two-way radio.

It turns out that when we tried to call him, it was the wrong number. So the guy’s not as aloof as we thought he was.

But now the pressure’s on once again to keep a schedule cuz of him having to come down here. Once this well thing is finally working right and the roof’s done, are we going to be able to go more than two weeks without seeing him down here? I sure hope so!

Most importantly, I hope Tom finds another job before they get the chance to force him to take more unpaid days off or go out of business altogether! Last year’s little tragedy has left me so traumatized, and so worried about our security.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Today’s been both a fun and annoying day. We got the Macs and printer, as well as one of the clear round crystals I liked the first time I saw it, then shortly after we returned, who shows up? Well, Jesse, of course! Jesse, Jesse, Jesse! He had his kid with him, too. They came ATVing down to get the metal tin that’s going on the roof. I guess they have to cut it to size. He also cut up part of the tree that went down.

Despite the fact that we were both up, that was still kind of rude of him not to call first and ask if he could shoot down and grab the shit. I guess instead of Tom, me, and tons of barking, or Tom, me, and the car stereos or neighbors’ wild kids, it’s now Tom, me and Jesse, Jesse, Jesse. Oh, to go more than two weeks without him coming down here!

I really hope to hell Tom gets a new job fast! He’s got to stay away from small companies, too. They not only have a 3-month waiting period, but they want over $40 a week for insurance! What’s the point of having insurance if you still have to pay a fortune anyway?! Gee, something up there really doesn’t want me getting my teeth taken care of, does it? This is getting a little scary. When can I go to a dentist and an ear doctor? When??? In another 4 years?

Other than a pair of Hanes panties, I haven’t won anything else exciting lately.

Tom’s setting up his Mac, then we’ll do mine. The printer, which is wireless, is set up now, too. Hopefully, it won’t take too long or be too much of a bitch learning the new setup and all that. The mouse alone is very different. You don’t click it, you push it.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Read Moo’s final review of Heart of the Forest, which she just finished. Moo’s her SN (screen name), so that’s why I call her Moo. Haven’t heard from the one reading my biography. Guess she either got bored with it or is busy.

Yesterday I was just miserable. Non-stop allergies all day long. Every time I’d move I’d be hit with sneezing fits, and my nose was stopped up all day, too.

Tom slaved his ass off yesterday getting Windows installed on the new Mac I’m using because I hated the Mac operating system (OSX), browser (Safari), and especially its pitiful version of Robo. I don’t know why people were saying it was so good when it wouldn’t even fill out the entire form.

Won a couple of packs of gum, got the rest of the stuff I ordered from Ashton-Drake, and a few samples. There were tampons, Dove lotion, and Kashi granola which was so boring I sicced it on the rats.

It’s hot, but not as smoky lately.

We’re just kicking back setting up the new Macs. It’s a bitch having to configure shit, install programs, etc., but worth it. The 22” monitor is perfect for a desktop. Tom’s $900 Mac is refurbished and has a wired keyboard and mouse, but the $600 printer and my $1200 Mac are wireless. So were my keyboard and mouse, except that insanely enough, my keyboard didn’t include a number pad, so I’m using the wireless keyboard I’ve been using all along and a different wireless mouse. The wireless mouse I had been using can’t be used with Macs, but that’s ok, cuz I still need one for the laptop. It’s awesome! I have the mouse I operate the Mac with by the keyboard on the keyboard tray, then I put the laptop’s mouse above it and I can skip songs on my radio that play on my laptop without having to get up.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Our Macs are pretty much all set up now. Just a few more things need to be changed or added. I sent Mary a picture sheet. If it makes it in to her as she says it will, I’ll enclose a sheet with each letter which I’ll send every week or so.

The built-in webcam is cool.

Anyway, it fucking figures Jesse hasn’t done the roof yet. My schedule’s pushing later into the morning, too. He’s obviously the type that puts things off till the last minute. He wouldn’t have waited till the day we moved in to check the heater and cooler if he wasn’t. He might come on Thursday cuz that’s trash day, but I think he’ll come on Friday or maybe even over the weekend.

Moo also reviewed Nocturnal Obsession and I’m glad she likes my stories so much. :)

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Not at all surprisingly, Jesse hasn’t done the roof. So he’ll wait till Sunday, assuming Monday is when he returns to work.

Yesterday was another miserable day for me with allergies. I mean I was totally miserable! I was practically bedridden, too. Every time I’d move I’d get hit with a sneezing fit. So we got some nasal spray which I’m going to take once a day and hope for the best. Naturally, all the damn congestion that goes with the allergies has my ear even more fucked up.

Jessie sent me an attachment you’re supposed to send to at least two friends within two hours to get your wish granted in 6 months, and one friend to get it granted in a year. I forwarded it to Tom and Satish (I couldn’t think of anyone else), and Tom forwarded it to me. We wished for money, of course! Jessie said she wasn’t sure if she believed in it, but didn’t see how the hell it could hurt to tell her friend she was thinking of her. I don’t know if I believe in it either, but we’ll find out in time.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Today’s our one-year Cali anniversary! Yes, it was exactly one year ago today that we left snowy, cold Oregon for warm, sunny California. Well, it’s usually warm here. I knew the move would be rough, though I had no idea it’d nearly kill us. Even so, we have survived! In one year we’ve gone further than we got in the 3 that we lived in Oregon. We’ve got new computers, a camera, an iPod, desks and more. We didn’t even have a kitchen set in Oregon! An old, peeling, and beat-up table and lawn chair hardly count as a dinette of any kind.

If someone had told us where we’d be a few months after leaving Oregon, I’d have wanted to drop dead on the spot. Had they told us where we’d be a year later, I’d have laughed!

I’m helping Tom help himself with not eating himself sick. Fortunately, he’s never eaten to the point of puking, but he upsets his belly at times on his days off by eating too much crap. So he’s doing what I try to do and space out his food so he eats more often but less at a time.

We decided to take a chance at upgrading our internet speed to the second-highest speed out of four, and we’re now twice as fast! In a month or so, we’ll step it up another notch.

I won another writing contest! Just some bullshit essay about how duct tape saved the day. I made up some line about being scared of mice and jamming the hole with duct tape where the sink pipes go through to keep them out, and it got me a Tee and a roll of duct tape in Orange Blast. Cool, huh?

I don’t know if I’ll get it, since I’m obviously not getting the popcorn samples I also won, nor the perfume, nor the Karmaloop shopping spree, but I won a $50 Amex card in an instant the other day as well.

Since Jesse hasn’t shown up, we’re assuming he got a construction job. With that kind of thing, you just gotta go on whatever jobs they give you, whenever they give them to you.

Anyway, other than just lounging around doing our usual things these last few days like watching movies, programming, fine-tuning the new computers, writing, enjoying the radio, entering sweeps, playing around in Kiwiland, and running a few errands, life has been good. My sleep is still cursed (even at night now), but life is good. We tried Rally’s, a grocery store Tom ran out to today, and I love their Chinese buffet. I got chicken fried rice, and sometime I’ll load up on a little of everything except for chow mien and egg rolls. It’s not a good place for regular grocery shopping, though, as opposed to Walmart, cuz it’s so expensive.

We canceled Rhapsody and got commercial-free, unlimited song-skipping for just $35 a year with my old Yahoo radio station. The only thing I can’t do now is downloading, but with my recorder, that’s ok.

If things could stay running as smoothly as they have for the rest of our lives, even if this place is too small and too old, that’d be just fine with me! God, I hope we never have any disasters half as bad as last year! I know one thing for sure and that’s that I’m never going to stop praying for things to be ok no matter how mad I may get at God for the unfairness in this world that has touched myself and others.

Of course, staying away from the off-brands helps keep us safer, too. Jews may not be as hated here as in Arizona, but no matter where you are, the off-brand prevails.

Tom and I both agree that while I may be best as a psychic at influencing and with dream premonitions, there definitely does seem to be an uncanny coincidence with “jinx-writing.” So many things I’ve written in stories, letters or journals have come true. Therefore, after I finally get around to finishing the stories I’m working on now, I should definitely try to incorporate more of what I’d like to happen to us for real into the story somehow.

Tonight I’ll be redeeming points for lip gloss on KB.

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