#'are you helping your mom' OH I DON'T KNOW. IN THE LIMITED AMOUNT OF TIMES IN YOUR LIFE THAT YOU'VE SEEN ME.

[whoslaurapalmer]

my relatives swing around between "do not remember lulu exists as a person" and "remembers lulu exists as a person but only in terms of telling her 'oh THANK you for helping your mom' or 'you're helping your mom, RIGHT????' or 'hope you're okay. HOW'S YOUR MOM'"

mother of god, kris, you regularly message my mom and ask her how she is, why fucking go through me all of a sudden

[trippinsorrows]

looking through your eyes + twelve

authors note: ya'll remember the theme song from wizards of waverly place? 'everything is not what it seems'? yeah....remember that.

also, don't cuss me out for the ending, pleassseeee.

shoutout to the lovely @fearlesschimera for helping me with the italian translations! ❤️

if any cw/tw’s are missed, please let me know, and i will add them!

cw/tw: violence against women, scene of dv, slight fighting? language, angst, fluff, sexy time scene aka mild smut

song inspo: ‘looking through your eyes’ by leann rimes

masterlist

words: 10k (unhinged)

So, I remember when we were driving, driving in your car

Speed so fast, I felt like I was drunk

City lights laid out before us

And your arm felt nice wrapped around my shoulder

And I, I had a feeling that I belonged

I, I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

Nina’s singing and subsequent light laughter is what tears away Solana’s focus from her artwork. Turning away from the paper on the dining room table, she angles her body in the chair, swinging her legs around as she watches her mom dance around the kitchen.

Nina’s voice is soft and melodic, a nice compliment to the singer whose name Solana can never remember despite this being one of her mom’s, if not thee, favorite song.

Without thinking twice about it, Solana climbs off the chair and runs up to hug her mom from the side.

Nina’s smile grows even more as she looks down at her only daughter. “Mija.”

Solana looks up, big eyes reflecting the same amount of love and adoration. She responds in her mom’s native language. A ‘secret’ little thing they do in times like this where her dad and brother are gone. Communicating in only a way they can understand. 

“I wanna dance with you, mommy!”

Nina’s laughter is similar to her singing and speaking voice. And it’s infectious too, Solana joining in as Nina playfully spins her around. “Then dance with me, mija.”

Solana doesn’t need to be told twice. And maybe it’s less dancing and more moving around in a way that represents the happiness both mother and daughter feel in this moment. A brief little thing, something that happens in small to medium doses infrequently. 

But when it does roll around, the both of them capture and hold onto it with all that they have. 

When the song finishes, Nina turns down the music system as she redirects Solana to her art. “Can I see what you made?”

It’s a question she already knows the answer to. Solana nodding furiously as she takes her hand and guides her over to the table. Pointing, Solana explains, “look, mommy, it’s you and me!”

Nina gasps quietly. Even at seven, her daughter seems to have a gift with the arts. Reading, writing, and drawing. It hurts her sometimes that she can’t feed it more. That she’s limited to so little resources when it comes to helping Solana better her craft. 

Nina lifts up Solana and sits down in the chair, her daughter on her lap. “It’s beautiful, mija. You’re so talented.”

The complement brightens Solana’s smile. “Just like you, mommy!” Solana lifts up the page, offering additional explanation. “See, that’s you and me at the Play—playa—”

Nina helps her out, “Playa Norte, Isla Mujeres?” 

Solana nods. “That!” 

A brief sweep of sadness overcomes her with memories of home. Memories of simpler, happier times. Her children still bring her a sense of fulfillment, but it’s often weighed down by the trauma of everything else. “Oh, I wish you could see the water, Sol. It’s so beautiful, so clear. It’s like heaven on earth.”

Solana looks up at her with all of her naivety and innocence. “We can go there one day, mommy, right? Just you and me?”

Her throat constricts at Solana’s question. Nina doesn’t have it in her to expose her young child to the ugly truth. “Of course, baby.” She brushes some of Solana’s hair back. “What about your brother?”

It’s not missed upon her how the mention of Wesley makes Solana’s smile dim. “He doesn’t like us….”

“Oh, baby…” Nina brings her hands to gently cradle Solana’s face. “He does. It’s just your father….your father tells him things about us that’s not true, but he does like us. He loves us just like I love you and him. I love you both so much.”

There’s not enough time in the world or ways that she can say it to truly exemplify just how much she means it. Even with Xavier doing everything he can to keep her away from her son, it doesn’t extinguish her love for him. 

If anything, it just makes it stronger. 

The sound of the garage doors lifting brings Nina back to her crushing reality, from her brief escapism. “He’s home.” Wide eyes dart to the kitchen as she realizes dinner is still about twenty minutes out from being ready. “Come, mija!” Nina jumps from the table and is quick to gather all of Solana’s artwork. She knows how this will play out, and she refuses to allow him to destroy Solana’s work the same way he often does her own. Reaching it to her, Nina hurriedly advises, “go to your bathroom, lock the door, and don’t come out until I come get you, okay?” Trembling hands reach Solana the CD player and headphones. “Don’t take these off, you hear me?”

Solana’s smile is completely gone, her eyes watering, “he’s gonna hurt you, isn’t he?”

Nina swallows back her sob. “‘Don’t worry about me, Solana. Just do as I say, okay?” The sound of the door to the garage being ripped open alerts her to just how pressed for time they are. With all of the urgency, she pleads, “go!”

And despite everything in her wanting her to stay, to help, to do whatever she can, Solana does as she’s told.

Rushing up the stairs, Solana doesn’t stop until she’s in the bathroom. She locks the door and falls on the floor, back up against it, eyes watering even more.

She moves as fast as she can to put her headphones on, but it’s not fast enough. She can’t make out specific words, but it’s not needed to know and hear her father’s angry yelling followed by the pained wails of her mom. Glass breaking, items being thrown, Xavier’s screams of unbridled fury.

That’s when the dam breaks, tears spilling out of her eyes as she hits play to sound out the noise that never really goes away, never really stops haunting her, from making her chest feel so full and heavy.

This….this is the soundtrack to her life. 

Solana isn’t unsure how long she sits there, working so hard to drown out the cries and screams of her best friend. Long enough to where she falls asleep only to be woken up by the same woman whose shouts of terror unintentionally and tragically lulled her to sleep.

The first thing Solana notices is the blood, followed by the puffy, blackened area under her right eye. Still, her mom is only focused on her, hand under her chin as she asks, “are you okay, mija?”

The tears return as Solana is face to face with the result of her father whose anger knows no bounds. “Mommy….”

“Don’t cry, baby.” Nina pulls Solana against her chest, braving the pain coursing through her body, particularly her ribs. “I’m—I’m okay.”

She hates lying to her daughter, feels almost sick with herself for gaslighting her. Solana is wise and perceptive. She knows that her mother is far from fine.

“What if—what if one day he hurts you real bad?”

Nina wasn’t expecting this question, wasn’t expecting her young daughter to ask something she herself has thought about from time to time. 

What happens when Xavier finally takes his beatings too far?

Shoving away those dark thoughts, Nina shows Solana her inner forearm. “What is this, Sol?”

Solana wipes at her eyes and focuses on the beautifully, dark inked hummingbird tattoo on her mom’s skin. “A Hummingbird.”

“That’s right.” Nina wipes at her tears. “And what did I tell you about Hummingbirds? Hmm? What do they mean to our people?”

Solana sniffles and explains in a quiet voice. “They’re messengers from the spirits in heaven.”

“Exactly, so that means even when people leave us in one form, they’re still here in another. Still here even if they look a little different.” Nina’s voice cracks a bit as she promises, “I’m always with you, Solana. No matter what.”

Emotion building back up, Solana thrusts herself against Nina and cries into her chest. “Why can’t we leave, mommy?” She looks up, full of confusion and fear. “Then he can’t hurt you anymore.” Nina swallows. “We can run away where he won’t find us!”

Nina has a hard time holding back her tears. A dream. That would be a dream. If she could somehow escape this hell, take her children from this nightmare. But, it's just that, a dream. Because this is the life they live. This is her reality. 

And there’s nothing that can change that.

Not without her putting her children’s lives at risk, because Xaver has made it abundantly clear in a variety of violent ways what will happen should she ever be “stupid” enough to think she could leave.

“Listen to me, Solana.” She wipes away the tears of her sweet child. “This…what your father does to me….it’s not love, and it’s not okay. I don’t want you to ever let a man treat you that way.” It feels almost bitter leaving her mouth, the amount of hypocrisy she feels at saying such a thing. If only she could practice what she preaches. “You are so special, and your heart is so big.” She places her hand over Solana’s chest. “This is your biggest gift, and you must always be careful who you share it with. Because yours is extra special.” She presses her lips against Solana’s forehead. “No matter what, never forget that life is a gift. You are a gift, Solana.” Her eyes shut, absorbing all the love and comfort. “My sol.”

________

Memories of much darker, sadder times have unintentionally become a motivating factor for Solana during training. She finds a sort of strength and fuel at reflecting on times from the past where she was bogged down with such fear. 

Now though, it’s not as much fear as something else that’s unfamiliar but not unwarranted.

Anger. 

It’s what helps and almost keeps her on her feet and in the game as she spars with Bayley, knife in the back of her shorts. It’s the first time she’s done as such, practiced training, practiced fighting, with that little thing that’s caused her so much pain throughout her life.

But now, she’s the one with the blade, with the ability to use it against someone else vs it being used against her. 

It’s a different feeling, still uncomfortable, but also empowering in a strange sort of way.

Naomi is on the side, calling out various tips and reminders as Solana is able to successfully avoid certain hits and attacks from Bayley. She knows her friend is still holding back a bit, but not nearly as much as she did in the beginning.

Solana slightly appreciates that.

She feels….she feels good almost knowing that the progress she’s made isn’t because it’s been given to her. It’s been earned.

And unbeknownst to her, there’s an audience observing the sparring, an audience that consists of none other than the twins, Nia, and her husband who watch from the balcony above.

Roman had a meeting with Nia earlier in the day, hence his presence at the Warehouse, but staying after to silently observe Solana while she trains wasn’t necessarily on the agenda. It just happened.

Much to the chagrin of Wise Man who once again tries to remind Roman of what he already knows. He clears his throat, nerves big and evident, “sir, I hate to interrupt, but we do have to meet with—-”

“I’m aware.”

Paul swallows, closing his eyes as he sends up a prayer, asking for mercy. “Of course, sir, but—but, if we don’t leave now—”

“The meeting will start whenever I arrive, and I’ll get there when I get there.” Roman’s dark, irritated gaze falls on his chief advisor. “Is that understood?”

Paul straightens, more than familiar with that look. The look that can be followed up with an act of violence. “Y—yes, my Tribal Chief.” 

With that shit straightened out, Roman easily falls back into the almost trance he’s in watching her. 

Updates with her progress from Naomi and Bayley have been one thing, but it’s another to actually see her in action. 

See the precision and speed in which she moves. She seems almost….in her element.

A far cry from the terrified mess she was when he first met her.

She’s coming into her own, and he loves to see that shit. 

But, it’s when Bayley lands a particularly harsh blow against Solana, one that has her holding onto her face that Roman steps forward. A fresh wave of anger comes over him at the fact that Bayley could be so stupid to hit her so hard. She should fucking know better. 

Who the fuck does she think she is to hit Solana?

He’s stopped, however, when Nia extends her arm across his big body, preventing him from checking on his wife. 

He turns toward her, and if looks could kill, she’d be dead. “Move.”

She rolls her eyes, unbothered, motioning for him to continue watching. “Wait.”

Roman has no fucking intentions on waiting. Not when Solana could be hurt. He’s going to tear Bayley a new one for that. Why the fuck would she hit her so hard?

But, it’s as he’s watching and sees Bayley move toward Solana to check on her, that he realizes why Nia may have stopped him from acting too prematurely.

Because Solana is suddenly no longer doubled over. She’s bringing her knee up to Bayley, forcing the other woman to double over from some level of pain. But Solana doesn’t stop. She instead uses her leg to swipe Bayley off her feet, sending her into the ground.

Solana pounces on top of her, forcing her on her stomach. Straddling her, a fist full of her hair as she yanks her head back and brings the knife up to her neck.

Roman smiles.

Around him, the twins start to make a whole scene.

“Oh shit, okay Soso! I see you girl!”

“Alright, sis! That’s how you do it!”

Roman watches as she drops the knife almost immediately but not before she smiles, emotional almost, while being cheered on by Naomi who runs over and hugs her from the side. Solana laughs as she stands up, Bayley also jumping up, joining in the celebration.

“You know, it’s not very often that I'm wrong, but I gotta admit.” Roman turns to Nia who also looks a level of impressed. “I was wrong about Princess.” Nia chuckles. “Girl’s got some fight in her after all.”

Roman doesn’t say anything, but that’s not out of disagreement.

Solana might be one of the strongest people he’s ever met.

And it has nothing to do with what he just witnessed.

Nia continues, announcing, “I think she’s ready to advance to the next level.”

Roman has his own definition of what that is, but he’s slightly curious about Nia’s take. “Which is?”

“She needs to start training with a man.”

He nods. They’re on the same page then. “I’ll talk with her about taking over—”

“No.”

“Excuse me?” Nia has always been outspoken, but there are some days he has to remind himself that she’s family. Because her smart ass mouth on anyone else would have them six feet under.

“She’s comfortable with you. It needs to be with someone she doesn’t know.”

And this time, Roman is the one shooting it down. “No.” To make Solana train and fight with a man, a stranger at that, seems like it would be triggering for her. In no way, shape, or form will he let that shit happen.

Nia, however, seems intent on just that. “Look, four months ago, I would agree with you, but look at what that girl just did. She grounded Bayley, Roman.” He looks away, running his hand over his face. “She’s come a long way, and to stop her now would only be a disservice. You’d be hindering her.” When he says nothing, mostly because he knows she has a point and he hates that, she continues. “And I’d say have Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum do it, but she seems to be comfortable with them too. For some reason.”

Jey finishes chewing his snack, most likely a creation by Solana, asking with all the obliviousness, “hey, what’d you say?”

Roman ignores him while Nia rolls her eyes. “You’re a stubborn bastard, Roman, but you’re not stupid.” He looks at her. “You know I’m right.” 

He turns away,  watching as Bayely and Naomi talk to Solana, clearly providing her additional instruction. He’s focused on Solana. She looks so….relaxed. So in her element. It’s such a far cry from the first time he met her.

She’s almost like an entirely different person. This causes him to sigh loudly. 

Nia is correct. He’d be hindering the growth that’s got her to where she is today.

And that’s something he could never forgive himself for.

“I’ll talk to her.”

________

Bayley: If ya’ll could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?

Solana is taking a brief break to check her phone, mainly for any texts from Roman, when Bayley sends her message in the group chat that the three of them share.

Naomi: Ooooh, Bora Bora! Heard it’s beautiful!

Bayley: Nice! I’d say the Maldives. 

Bayley: Solana?

It’s a good question that she doesn’t really have the answer for. 

Solana: Idk. I’ve…I’ve never been out of the country, so it’s hard to say.

Naomi: Seriously? Never traveled at all?

Solana: No. 

Bayley: So then there definitely has to be someplace! 

It takes a minute for her to really think about how to respond, because her initial instinct is to double down on her first answer. But, it’s when her memory from earlier in the day returns to the forefront of her mind that she finds herself being more open than she anticipated. 

Solana: Playa Norte, Isla Mujeres. It’s in Mexico. My mom always said the water was so beautiful. 

And that they would visit someday.

That never happened though.

It never happened because she was murdered before she could make the dream come true. 

An uncomfortable blanket of sadness comes over her, forcing Solana to put her phone down and resume her work, an effective distraction. 

She grabs a set of books that need to be restocked and makes her way over to the appropriate aise when she overhears low sniffles.

Frowning, she places the books down on the cart and follows the sound of the sniffles that sound a lot like someone crying. It's when she moves to the next aisle that she finds the source.

A little girl. No more than 6 or 7. She’s sat up against a row of books, little legs pulled up to her chest as she cries into her knees.

Solana’s frown deepens as she slowly approaches the child, leaving enough distance to not startle her. Solana knows better than most the detriment of being taken off guard when already upset.

“Hi there.” Her head snaps up, and right away Solana is met with striking blue eyes that are blurred with tears and an emotion Solana knows all too well.

Fear.

“It’s okay,” she comforts, intentional about keeping her distance and voice soft. “What’s wrong, sweetie?”

The little girl who, in a strange way, reminds her a lot of herself with her light complexion and russ brown hair that’s a combination of curl patterns, stammers with a response. “My—my mommy and daddy said I can’t talk to strangers.”

Solana smiles warmly. “Your mommy and daddy are very smart.” Staying where she is, Solana slides down onto the floor. She brings her legs to her side and offers her name. “My name is Solana. I work here in the library.” Wanting to earn some level of trust, Solana informs, “I really like to read.”

Her eyes light up a bit. “You do?”

She nods, keeping her smile. “My mom used to read with me all the time. Does your mommy ever read with you?”

The little girl nods and wipes at her eyes. “Yes. Daddy does too sometimes, but he works a lot.”

Solana’s smile dims a bit. She can both relate and not relate. Her father was never really home, and she preferred it that way. But when he was….it was hell. 

Using the opening, Solana asks softly, “where is your mommy?”

She hesitates, and her bottom lip trembles a bit, but she ends up explaining her presence. “I was walking outside with mommy, and I saw a butterfly, and—and I wanted to catch it, but then I got lost.” She starts to cry as Solana puts the pieces together, realizing she ran off, got lost, and maybe ventured into the library to ask for help. Or to cry in a safe space.

Solana gets that too.

“It’s okay, sweetie. I’ll help you find your mommy, okay?” 

The offer seems to settle her emotions a bit. Solana watches as she wipes her eyes and almost asks in a hopeful tone. “R–really?”

Solana smiles again and nods. “Of course.” She stands up, not moving from her spot but offering her hand. “You want to come with me?”

The little girl nods and stands up, slowly walking up to Solana and taking her hand. She looks up, sharing in a slightly more confident tone, “my name is Emma.”

“That’s a very pretty name.” Solana gently squeezes her hand. “Now let’s go find your mommy.” 

Solana notes how Emma squeezes her hand back. It warms her heart.

She guides Emma toward the steps, careful to not walk too fast, mindful of the fact that Emma is still, wisely, very cautious of the fact that Solana is still a stranger.

Solo meets Solana at the bottom of the steps, his unkind gaze falling on Emma who hides herself behind Solana.

Looking down, she advises her, “it’s okay, sweetie.”

Solo rolls his eyes, gesturing with his chin. “Who is this?”

Solana looks back at him, answering while intentionally not providing a name. Emma provided Solana her name, not Solo. “She got separated from her mother. I’m gonna help her find her.”

He scoffs. “Ain’t that what the police is for?” 

Frowning, Solana finds herself defending her actions. “She’s already scared.”

He cuts his eyes, voice sharp as she reminds her of his role. “My job is to protect and watch you. Not some random badass kid—”

“D–don’t call her that.” Anger. Solana finds herself growing angry with Solo’s disposition. A rare emotion for her. But, she can’t stop thinking about the scared little girl clinging onto her leg, finding some form of comfort in her. She can’t stop thinking about how she used to be that little girl. How she used to cling onto her mother for comfort. 

Until she couldn’t.

“I’ll help her by myself. I—” Solana swallows. “I don’t need your help.” 

The library is in neutral territory. She should be fine to walk up and down the street to help an innocent child without the protection of someone Solana is realizing really doesn’t want to be there in the first place.

Gently encouraging Emma to follow her, Solana leads the little girl out the double doors of the library and onto the busy sidewalk.

Solo never comes after her.

And in a weird, sort of unfamiliar twist that she doesn’t really understand, Solana prefers it that way.

She prefers Solo not toggling along, his negative energy not interfering and exacerbating Emma’s fear.

Leaning down, Solana asks, still with that gentle smile, “do you remember which way you came from?”

Emma frowns again, shaking her head. “N–no.”

“That’s okay. We’ll just look left and right.” Straightening up, Solana decides to go to the left first, knowing that there’s a kids boutique a few doors down. It seems like a good place to start. And it’s while walking, Emma suddenly asks a question that literally makes Solana feel like she’s gotten the wind knocked out of her.

“Are you a mommy?”

Solana hasn’t the slightest clue why it takes a second for her to answer such a basic question. The question, in terms of complexity, is simple and can be answered with a single word. But everything else with it is…..not easy. Because she has no idea why her tone suddenly shifts to something sad as she finally replies.

“No.” And before she can think about what’s leaving her mouth, before she can even process what she’s saying, Solana adds, “not yet.”

It takes a lot for Solana to not backtrack, to try to offer some explanation that probably wouldn’t make any sense to such a young child why she was taking her answer back. But beyond that, there’s a part of Solana that doesn’t want to take it back.

She doesn’t want to take it back because….because maybe it’s the truth. 

Emma looks up with a small smile, revealing a missing front tooth. “You’re gonna be a nice mommy.”

Her chest constricts, and Solana feels her eyes watering from an emotion she can’t pinpoint.

Emotional smile and all, she manages to keep the tears at bay. “Thank—”

“Emma!”

Solana and Emma snap their heads and attention to the source of the voice, as Emma drops Solana’s hand.

“Mommy!” 

Solana jogs behind Emma who makes a mad dash in the direction of the woman who called her name. Solana stops when a large man moves in between her and Emma and the woman.

Emma’s little voice calls out at the same time Solana backs away, a bit of anxiety growing in her stomach as she thinks about the knife in the back pocket of her jeans. “No, she’s my friend!” 

“Bron, back off.” The woman speaks, and almost instantly, the large man with cold eyes that remind her of Solo moves away. The view and path is cleared again as Solana sees Emma being held by a woman who could never deny the child in her arms belongs to her. Emma is her twin outside of the blue eyes Solana would guess she got from her father.

“Mommy, this is Solana.” Emma introduces, pointing and waving. “She helped me find you!”

The woman, a few inches taller than Solana, with hazel eyes and almost perfect facial features, smiles. Again, Solana sees nothing but Emma. “Thank you so much—”

The large man who Solana hasn’t forgotten about and vice versa chimes in. “Brandi—”

“I don’t want to hear it, Bron.” She cradles Emma closer to her chest, as Solanaa clears her throat.

“Of course.” She points behind her. “I—umm—I work at the library. I—I do a kids reading club on Mondays, if—if Emma would like to join.”

Emma’s eyes light up at that as she’s pulling on her mom’s sleeve. “Mommy, can I go?”

The woman, Brandi, as Solana heard the large, unkind man refer to her frowns a bit. “After today, I’ll be lucky if your dad lets you or me leave just to check the mail, let alone go into town again.” Still, she turns to Solana, “but thank you for the information. She loves books, so I’d know she’d love to attend.”

And it’s then that Emma throws out with all the innocence of a child. “Solana’s gonna be a mommy too! Just like you!” 

Her breath catches. Solana once again has to fight back the tears that don’t make sense as well as the sadness that doesn’t make even more sense. “Some…someday.”

Brandi offers a smile that’s reassuring. Like she understands what doesn’t need to be directly stated. “Well, I wish you all the luck.” She tickles Emma’s stomach and jokes, “they’re a handful.”

And for a second, just the briefest of a second, solana visualizes just that. Visualizes herself holding a child, a child that would have her smile. Roman’s eyes. His strong will. Her innocence.

A perfect representation of them both.

But, it’s quickly pushed away, stomped on by logic.

That…..that’s not even something she should allow herself to consider right now when they haven’t even consummated their marriage.

Even if that very visual is exactly why the marriage was arranged in the first place. 

She clears her throat. Despite being outside, Solana all of a sudden feels almost closed in. “I—I should get back to work.” 

Brandi nods. “Of course.” She doesn’t even have to direct Emma to say goodbye, as the little girl with a sweet smile full of innocence is already on it.

“Bye, Solana!” She then adds on with all of the hope. “I hope I see you again!”

Solana hopes the same too.

After parting, Solana noticing the almost menacing glare that ‘Bron’ man sends her way, she walks back to the library in complete silence, feeling so conflicted and torn by emotions that usually don’t work in her favor in general.

But, it’s when she’s about to head up the steps, Solo appears again wearing an almost smug expression, that she stops in her tracks at his comment. “You done playing mother Teresa?”

She doesn’t know where it comes from. Doesn’t know how she’s even able to allow it to leave the safety of her mouth, the confines of her thoughts vs being expressed. But, that’s exactly what happens. 

Solana turns to him and doesn’t stutter as she asserts, “you don’t get to talk to me like that.” Swallowing and with an uncharacteristically amount of confidence, she warns almost, “Roman wouldn’t let you talk to me like that.”

And it seems like that not so little reminder of who her husband is triggers something for him. Solo clears his throat, muttering almost, “my apologies.” He asks, a perfect combination of forced concern and obligation, “whose kid?”

She starts not to answer, but being a form of assertive and dismissive feels like too much in one day. “I don’t know. Some man with her called her Brandi?”

At that, his attention seems almost intensified. He’s quiet for a moment. “Brandi?”

Confused at his subtle but noticeable change in demeanor, Solana nods. “Yeah. I think she called the man Bron?” 

Solo looks away, like there’s something about these two pieces of information that are important. So she asks, “why?”

Solo’s gaze is back on her, and like a snap of a finger, the intensity in his expression melts into something cavalier. “Nothing.”

Solana is quiet. And suspicious. Something in the pit of her stomach tells her there’s something he’s not telling her, something he’s keeping to himself. 

But she doesn’t push it.

She’s got other things on her mind.

Other things she shouldn’t have on her mind. 

But, she does. She really, really does.

________

Later that evening, the strange, conflicting emotions from her encounter with Emma and her mother, Brandi, are still plaguing Solana. She’s grateful that Roman has to take his dinner in his office due to work, because it at least gives her space to process such big emotions without him picking up on anything being wrong.

He seems to be very good at that. 

In preparation for winding down for the evening, she’s at the sink, washing the dishes when Roman comes up behind her. It’s only a brief second of tension that’s easily settled by his arms around her, his mouth on her neck. 

She smiles, noticing the increasing amount of comfort and want she’s experiencing at him touching her.

It’s getting to the point where she almost craves his touch.

It’s…comforting. 

Roman makes a sound, lips moving up to kiss her cheek. “Meet me at the pool in an hour.”

She frowns, turning toward him. “What?”

He brings hand to her mouth, thumb gliding over her bottom lip. “You said you wanted to get in, right?”

“I—” And she can’t protest, can’t find a way to politely disagree. Because she did say that. And he’s clearly holding her to it. “Yes.”

His hand slides down to cup her ass, Solana gasping quietly as he smirks. “Then let’s do it.” Her eyes shut, and she bites down on her bottom lip as he whispers in her ear, “I want to see that bathing suit of yours.”

Another gasp as he squeezes her ass. “Roman.” 

He says nothing else, walking away. Solana takes a second to reflect on the interaction, sits on the fact that he was able to touch her and she didn’t tense up. Didn’t freeze up. She almost…she almost liked it.

But what she doesn’t like is the fact that she now has to apparently meet this man in the pool wearing that bathing suit that nobody but her made him aware of. He would have never known she even owned it she hadn’t opened her mouth in a poor way to distract him.

And now he wants to see her in it.

And now the anxiety is growing again. 

Because while she’s grown more comfortable with his touching her, she’s been almost entirely clothed during those times. Even with the more revealing outfits. This one will definitely take the cake. She’s not sure her lingerie from their wedding night was as showy as this bikini.

She takes her time finishing up the dishes and is at least grateful to see he’s nowhere near their room or bathroom as she sneaks in and locks the door to put it on. 

Solana must mess around with the suit at least ten different times. Pulling. Tugging. Tightening. It doesn’t make a difference because the swell of her chest and backside prove too much. There’s not much to be hidden, to be camouflaged, to be covered up. And that’s always been her preference. Never in her life has she owned or even worn a two piece suit. And yet, here she is about to step out in one that leaves little to the imagination in front of one of the most attractive men she’s ever laid eyes on.

A man that gives her butterflies with just one look of his dark, beautiful eyes. 

She tries telling herself that it’s just Roman. That she shouldn’t overthink it so much. That he’s made his attraction to her clear, time and time again. But, it’s hard to factor those things in when he’s never seen this much of her, so much skin, so much scarred skin. Skin with stretch marks and cellulite. Scars from the stabbing. The pudge of her belly.

It’s all so…revealing. Physically and emotionally.

It’s almost to the point where she has more anxiety about him seeing this much of her body than actually getting in the water, which was and should be the main source of her abundance of nerves.

But, it’s not. It’s not because even with all of her progress, it’s so hard to not compare herself to other women he’s been with. Women like Samantha who look nothing like her, who must look better than her.

That brings on a deeper level of insecurity. 

Will he compare her body to Samantha’s? How can he not? 

They’re night and day. One is preferred. One is shunned.

And Solana has never been preferred.

Eyes watering, she reaches for the large t-shirt and slides it over her body, comforted by not being faced with so many flaws. Deterred entirely, she starts to think of an explanation she can give Roman as to why she can’t get in the pool tonight.

Or any other night. 

But when she steps out of the bathroom, that plan is thrown out the window because Roman is sitting on the edge of the bed. 

Shirtless.

Wearing only swim trunks.

She’s momentarily focused on him. Focused on every rippling muscle of his body that’s damn near perfect. So opposite of her own.

Realizing she’s staring, she shakes her head, “I—”

“It’s been an hour.” Roman drags his eyes over her, and it’s like she knows what he’s going to say before it leaves his mouth. “You’re not dressed.”

Pushing back some of her hair, Solana is very much focused on the piece of abstract art on the wall opposite his bed. “I was thinking—”

“No.”

That she wasn’t expecting. Such a….blunt rejection. Eyes back on him, she frowns. “What?”

“You’re not backing out.” Solana swallows. He sounds so definitive. “I won’t make you get completely in the water, because I understand why that’s difficult for you.” She says nothing, at least grateful for his understanding in that area. “But you can at least sit on the edge. Work your way up to it.” An ironic choice of wording considering the other thing they’re working their way up to. He stands from the bed, and as much as Solana wants to look away, she can’t. She’s focused on him. All 6’3 of him. So intimidating. But not to her. So strong. But he’s never used his strength against her. So attractive. The same way he feels about her. 

“Without the shirt.”

Her stomach drops, anxiety brewing again. “Roman….”

He’s suddenly in front of her, his hands reaching to pull her against him. “That’s not your trauma. It’s your insecurity, and I’m not accepting that shit because it’s not fucking fair for you to be as beautiful as you are and not see or feel it.”

She swallows as he reaches for the hem of her shirt. “Off.” It’s a statement, but there’s a questioning nature to it. Like regardless of how he feels, he’s still giving her the space to say no. 

To have that autonomy. 

It’s appreciated.

It’s also why despite her anxiety, with her eyes closed, she relents. “O–off.”

Roman doesn’t seem to waste any time pulling her shirt up and over her head. And as soon as she feels the chilly air of his room on her body, the realization that she’s more exposed in front of him than she’s ever been before, she’s crossing her arms over her chest. 

Hiding.

Embarrassed.

“No.” And his hands are on her forearms, pushing down, gently but with purpose. “No hiding.” She keeps her eyes closed as he forces her arms down at her side. “Solana, look at me.” And she wants to, she actually wants to, but it’s hard, because all she can imagine is his disgust, his disinterest. “Look at me.”

His tone is somehow forceful but gentle, in a way only he can do. In a way that never makes her feel scared, but always safe. 

So she obliges.

Roman’s gaze is on her, intentful and burning. His jaw is clenched. “It pisses me the fuck off that you’ve been made to feel anything less than fucking gorgeous.” And she watches as he travels his beautiful eyes over her body. Slowly. With a level of desire that she, even with all of her insecurities, can’t deny. Men like Roman don’t look at women like that unless they want them in that way. “The things I want to do to you….”

And once again, he’s affirming and practically repeating everything he’s assured her of several times now.

He wants her. 

“I’m going to make you believe it.” Wetting her lips, she watches Roman take her hand in his. “Come here.” 

He walks them over to the opposite side of his room where the black, full body mirror rests against the wall. His hands are on her hips, positioning her so that she’s standing directly in front of him, her back pressed into his chest. 

“Keep your eyes open.” His voice is commanding but still calm enough where it doesn’t unnerve her. “Spread your legs.” Solana is certain Roman can feel the way her body instantly tenses, because he’s kissing the shell of her ear, reassuring her. “Relax, baby. I won’t touch you there until you’re ready. Just trust me.”

And she does.

Maybe more than she’s ever trusted anyone.

It’s why she moves her legs apart so that her thick thighs are no longer rubbing against each other.

Again, he’s comforting her, “trust me…” Solana is briefly confused as to why he’s repeating himself when his hand is on her backside, squeezing in a way that makes her head fall back against his chest. “I love your ass.” She makes a sound, almost too low to hear when he moves his hands to her chest, big, strong hands cupping her breast. “But, I especially fucking love these.”

She moves her much smaller hands over his. For what reason, she doesn’t know. All she knows is that she nearly groans when his thumb flicks over her hardened areolas through the fabric of her swimsuit. 

“Roman….” Despite his clear directive, it’s hard to keep her eyes open when there’s so much coursing through her body.

“You know why I said your name when I was with her?” Not really, but also yes. It’s difficult for Solana to think straight with him touching her like this. A strange, unfamiliar feeling settling at the bottom of her belly. 

His mouth is back on her, kissing her jawline as he continues to caress her breast, alternating between light massaging and caressing her nipples. “Because I was imagining she was you. Because it’s you I want to be inside.”

Solana’s eyes are bouncing back and forth between open and closed, the soles of her feet  almost numb as standing suddenly feels much more difficult than it should be. There’s an unfamiliar ache in between her legs that has her thighs pressing back against each other. 

Her body is on fire, and despite this intimate touching, she has no desire to push him away. Doen’t feel shackled and stuck in a way that’s reminiscent of her trauma. She wants his touch on her. 

His deep, alluring voice is in her ear, watching every single one of her erotic reactions through the mirror. “There’s not a single part of you that I don’t want to touch….” Her breathing is labored and heavy almost as he moves his hand and trails his finger down the valley of her breast. “To feel…..” Her eyes are fluttering as his hand moves down to her stomach, hers shooting to rest on top of his, an unconscious effort to keep him from feeling the part of her that she’s always felt 

self-conscious about. Only for her to cry out when he lightly squeezes her stomach, rolls and all. “To taste….”

It should make her mortified, for him to be grabbing so freely a part of her that she used to cry over from embarrassment. But, it doesn’t. She’s simply trying to remain strong enough to remain on her own two feet.

Her body is on fire, and there’s this pressure building in her core. Intense but oh so delicious. A brand new sensation.

Whimpering, she moves her hand to his wrist. “Roman, I—”

“I know,” he coaxes, pressing his lips to her shoulder. “That’s what I want, baby.”  He moves his mouth over to her clavicle, tongue wetting her burning skin. “Want you to feel good….”

Good is an understatement. She feels completely overwhelmed in a way she didn’t think possible.

 And it only intensifies when his fingers create circles across her lower belly. Tears are pooling in her eyes, the throbbing in her belly and most intimate part increasing with every touch and every word that leaves his mouth. 

Solana also recognizes the wetness pooling between her legs. Something else she’s never experienced. Not like this. She’s been able to become aroused before, but never to this extent.

Not to this intensity. 

The pressure feels too much, too heavy, but she can’t seem to find the words to express as such while Roman continues to talk her through it.

“The next time you touch yourself, I want you to think of me.” His lips are ghosting the shell of her ear, his fingers continuing to trickle across the lower skin of her belly. “My mouth on you. Me inside of you.” 

She gasps, loud enough for it to almost echo throughout the room and almost bounce off the walls. “Oh my god….”

She feels just about ready to explode when his other hand has moved to her inner thighs, long fingers dancing across her skin and prying her thighs apart. She’s almost certain her essence has made her way past her bottoms and coats the tips of his fingers.  “I’m gonna be your first.” His words puncture her resolve, but it’s the latter statement that completely destroys it. “And your last.”

Solana cries out, stomach in waves as she squeezes his wrist, intense pleasure nearly knocking her off her feet if not for his strong arms around her. Solana feels partially discombobulated as he whispers things in her ear that she’s far too overwhelmed to make out.

She’s not sure how long she’s standing there, doesn’t know how long he’s holding her, helping her land back down to earth. She just knows there’s a pulsing between her legs that she’s never had before. An aftermath almost. 

The aftermath at what had to have been a climax. 

It takes a few minutes for her to finally be able to formulate words. She looks up at him, trying to not think too much of the way he circled his finger around the spillage between her thighs. It’s enough to make her womanhood start to pulse again. “how did—-I’ve never—”

Roman looks down at her, eyes almost narrowed with pure curiosity as she asks, “have you never had an orgasm before?”

Cheeks still flamed from what just occurred but also slight embarrassment at her answer, she explains, “I’ve—I’ve tried before, but I just—I couldn’t.”

He actually looks surprised but simply brings his hand to her chin, kissing her softly. “Well, it damn sure won’t be your last.” He gently bites down on her bottom lip before backing away. “Be outside in 10.” 

It takes a second for her to realize what he’s talking about. She’d completely forgotten what even kicked off all of that.

Watching him leave with her t-shirt, it’s only when he closes the door and she’s alone that something he said finally settles in.

Something that somehow gives her a sense of pleasure more enjoyable than even his talented touch. 

“I’m gonna be your first.” 

Just thinking of it brings tears to her eyes. For an entirely different reason. For so long, she felt so broken and devastated at having her virginity so brutally ripped away. To have it stolen from her before she could even understand what sex was.

And no, she can never truly get it back.

But this….Roman can give her. That first time of actually having a choice.

And that means more to her than he could ever know.

She cares for him more than she’s certain he knows.

And truth be told, Solana is starting to wonder if care is still a strong enough word to describe what she feels for a certain Roman Reigns.

________

After cleaning herself and gathering her bearings, Solana finds Roman out back already in the pool swimming laps as Dulce sits on the side just watching him, her tail wagging. She always seems so excited around him.

Taking advantage of him being underwater and not aware of her presence, Solana moves quickly over to the steps, faltering for a bit before stepping in just enough to where the water brushes against her knees. That’s when the anxiety starts. Her stomach begins knotting.

It’s also when Roman comes up from under, and she’s briefly distracted by just how good he looks while quite literally doing nothing out of the ordinary. She watches him swim over to her, one hand pushing back some of hair, the other reaching for her. 

She hesitates, and he sees it, gently reminding.

“I’ve got you….”

Solana just looks at him. He’s yet to not come through on that promise made time and time again. An oath almost, in every single situation where he’s asserted it.

It’s why she finds herself accepting his hand as she descends further into the water. And just as she recognizes her anxiety heightening along with the water that’s brushing against her chest, Roman tugs her against him. 

Gasping, her hands naturally move onto his shoulders, her legs naturally wrapping around his waist.

“Roman….” She’s looking from side to side as he moves them farther away from the steps. “I—”

“Can you swim?” His question both makes sense and serves as a brief distraction. 

“Y–yes, but I haven’t done it in years.” He’s still moving them though, and that still makes her nervous as more distance is created between her and a way to escape without actually getting under the water. “Roman, I—I can’t—”

“I know.” His assurance is soft, gentle almost. “I’m not gonna let you fall, Solana.”

And she swallows, because there’s an undertone to his statement. Like there’s another meaning that maybe one or both of them isn’t entirely ready to come to terms with.

It’s when they stop moving, she realizes that he wasn’t just aimlessly moving around. He wanted to bring them over to the stool within the pool that he sits on. It’s only then she really becomes cognizant of the fact that she’s straddling him as well as just how close her body is against his.

Not that he seems to mind.

His gaze on her is both distracting and tantalizing. She wants him to never look at her with such desire at the same time she wants him to never look away.

It’s….a strange experience.

Needing there to be some type of conversation, she goes with the first thing that comes to mind. “How….how was your day?”

Roman chuckles. “The same as most.” Solana makes an active effort to ignore how his hands remain planted on her ass, giving just the slightest pressure that makes her softly scratch at his taut skin. “How was yours?”

Eventful. She starts to tell him about Emma and Brandi, but that would somehow lead into a conversation about Solo and his odd behavior recently. And Roman already deals with enough. She doesn’t want to add onto his plate. 

She can handle that on her own.

It’s why she decides to share the most exciting news, a smile growing on her face. “I pinned Bayley today during my training.”

“Did you?” Something tells her that he already knew about this, that he was made aware of this occurrence prior to this moment. Regardless, she’s thankful for him trying to fake surprise. For him trying to give her the satisfaction of being the first to tell him. “Damn. They told me you’ve gotten good. That you’re fast.”

She nods, smile dimming a bit. “I do feel a little bad about how I did it though.”

“Don’t.” He’s quick to dismiss her concerns. “Bayley’s taken much worse in the ring.” After seeing Bayley fight on Night of Champions, she doesn’t doubt that one bit. “There’s actually something I want to talk to you about.”

Her anxiety returns at his ending statement. “O–okay.”

Roman seems to take a minute before explaining, “I think we need to expand your training.” Her confusion is evident and expected as he clarifies with all the preparation in the world for a less than pleased response. “You need to start training with a man.”

Deep down, she already knows his answer before she asks. But, she has to do it anyway. “Like with you?” Open to it, she even suggests, “or the twins?”

Safe people.

As expected, he shakes his head. “No. It needs to be someone you’re not familiar with. Not like you are with me or them.” She looks away, eyes focused on the spotlight on the opposite end of the pool. “It’s only to help you. You can fight now, that’s good. But, you need to learn how to fight someone you don’t feel comfortable with, because that’s the reality of our world.” He elaborates, seemingly pulling her closer to him. “I’m never going to let you be in a position where you have to defend yourself like that against a man, but it’s good for you to know regardless.”

That helps a bit. She believes him. Believes that he’ll never let her be in that space ever again.

But, there’s a ‘what if’ thought that she can’t push away. Because nothing in life is promised or final. Anything and nothing can happen. She could very well find herself one day on the opposite end of her brother, and the thought of him having that hold and power over her makes her sick.

Should that day ever roll around again, she wants it to be different. She wants to be different.

She wants to be able to fight back.

“I’ll do it.” She agrees in a quiet tone and goes on to briefly explain her answer. “I think—I think I need to do it for me.”

Roman simply nods and acknowledges her acceptance with a single word. “Okay.”

Solana is grateful he doesn’t follow up with additional questions. She doesn’t really want to talk about that, doesn’t want to participate in conversations that bring up old, painful memories. “Can I at least meet them before we start training?”

“Of course.” That provides another layer of relief. “Are you still alright with the Gala?”

And this time, she nods. A few days away, she’s already figured out her look for the evening, courtesy of Bayley and Naomi. Biting on her bottom lip, she finds her fingers moving across his chest. “I—I got my dress.” He makes a sound followed up with his mouth moving to her neck. “I think—I think you’ll like it.”

She struggles to keep her eyes open when he starts kissing on her wet skin. “I like everything you wear.” She smiles. “You thought about what you want for your birthday?”

 Once again, it’s hard to talk with him touching her like this. “No, cause I don’t–”

He chuckles against her. “Still on that shit, I see.” And before she can push him on that, he informs with all of the textbook coyness, “it’s alright, I’ve got it figured out.”

That makes her push lightly on his chest, to force his gaze on her. “What does that mean?”

“You’ll see.” His words are intentionally vague and don’t manage to answer her question. It’s expected, not entirely out of character for him, but still a bit irritating. 

She sighs. The last thing she wants is for this man to go out of his way for her more than he already has. “Roman…

“Solana, I’ve got you in my arms. Half naked.” His eyes take on a dark, lustful glint as he focuses on her mouth. “I really don’t feel like talking, baby….”

He brings his lips back onto hers, but it’s hard to get too into the kiss when her mind is so focused on one little word. 

Baby….

A nickname he seems to use with her more and more, the increasing usage doing nothing for the butterflies every time he calls her as such. But this time, this time the butterflies are for something more, something different.

Something she’s not even sure she should be telling him right now when they haven’t even consummated their marriage. 

It doesn’t stop her from saying his name, her tone serious enough to alert him that she has something to say.

“Roman….” He lifts his head, gaze focused on her, and Solana finds herself momentarily captivated by him. He’s so handsome. So attractive. The embodiment of strength. In so many different ways. Licking her lips, it falls out almost accidentally but also with all of the determination. “I’m going to give you an heir.”

His expression falters only for a second. He’s so good at maintaining composure at all times that it takes her off guard. His voice is lowered. “Solana, I told you, I’ll handle—”

“I know, but—but, it’s not because of that.” And maybe a part of it is, maybe she feels guilty that she’s failing to do the one thing he agreed to marry her for. Maybe it’s out of her trauma. Maybe it’s a sense of obligation. Whatever the potential contributors, there’s no denying the largest chunk comes from a place of pure individualistic want. “I never thought that I could, but….but I can.” This part she knows to be true. Solana never envisioned a life for herself where she could withstand the touch of a man, the desire to have a man touch her. The ability to be intimate. But Roman has changed all that. “I know I can, so I will.” When he says nothing, she adds on, starting to feel a bit unsure of herself. “And we don’t have to now, per se, but….we will. I—I want to do that for you.”

For us.

He still says nothing, but Solana can see there’s a million thoughts floating through her head. She’s prepared for him to push back, to maybe chastise her or scold her for whatever reason. In her experience, men have never really needed solid reasons to be upset with her.

He does none of that though.

Instead, she seems something gleam in his brown eyes, something she can’t name but feels is eerily similar to what she feels whenever she looks at him.

“Non sei quello che mi aspettavo.” Solana has no idea what he’s saying, but with the way he holds her, the way he hikes her higher onto his waist so she’s almost looking down at him, wet hands moving to his face, she doesn’t really care. Doesn’t really need to know. “Ma credo che tu sia esattamente quello di cui ho bisogno…."

—----------

“Are you sure this is going to work?”

Xavier smiles at the hint of nervousness in his son’s voice. Any other time, he’d scold him for weakness. But when plotting against the Bloodline, especially Roman Reigns, one can never be too careful.

“Not necessarily, but I do know your sister. She’s weak. Blinded by love.” Just saying the word leaves a bitter taste on the tip of his tongue. “Your mother fed her that shit, and now she holds onto it. It’s how I know she won’t let him do anything.”

Wes’s dark gaze rakes over his father’s still recovering state. “And yet he still put us both in the hospital.”

Xavier glares, voice icy. He hates being reminded of failure. “Watch it, son.”

We looks away, shaking his head and crossing his arms over his body. “I just think there is another way—”

“Have you heard from your sister? Found a way to get into contact with her without going through Reins?” Xavier already knows the answer but wants his son to recognize the stupidity of his stance. “This is the only way, and it’ll work. Trust me.”

Wes is still quiet, but Xavier is unbothered. He’s instead focused on his phone that vibrates three times, his lock screen showing a set of messages from an unknown number. And it’s in reading the messages that his day goes from good to so much fucking better.

“Well, I’ll be damned….” 

Wes notices the change in his father’s mood and gestures with his chin. “Who is it?”

“Not sure.” He reaches the phone to his son. “But, we’re definitely going to find out.”

And it’s when reading the text that Wes also smiles, the same wicked scheming oscillating in his father’s head traveling over to him. 

“Got you now, you little bitch….” Wes reads over the words once more, basking in the relief and potential this new development will provide.

Unknown: I believe we may have a mutual problem that needs to be….taken care of.

Unknown: Your daughter. Solana.

Unknown: Let’s meet.

—----------

translation: “you’re not what i expected, but i think you’re exactly what i need.”

[111ikuyuh]

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚TRUST AND THE UNIVERSE ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Intro: ☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

🦇hi everyone...im posting this to help you manifest, shift etc! So allow me to explain. If you want to shift or manifest...you have to trust in yourself. You literally don't even have to trust if its real or not but just trust in yourself and your power. I realized this after doing something regarding lucid dreaming. I was doing the mild technique and I didn't fully believe in it but i tried anyways...and yeah I didn't lucid dream but I realized something. I simply intended and visualized before bed to wake up at 3-4am and guess what? I did. 3:30 am or something I think. Even tho I didn't lucid dream, I had a small success that made me realize I literally just needed to try and trust it.

🦴Explaining: ☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

🕸So...what exactly even is trusting? Imagine going on a roller coaster as a child and your scared....but your mom or dad holds your hand and tells you your okay. You're still scared and may have your doubts but you do it anyways and end up having a great time. Think of trust as simply trying and believing regardless of the circumstances!

🦴Trust and the "3d": ☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

🕷I dont exactly believe in the 3d. Think of the 3d as a complete illusion that you just happen to believe is real. The 3d is real, yes...but the 3d is also bullshit because YOU choose it all. You are in a reality where from birth we are programmed to think what Im saying is fake and that magic is fake...etc. But it's not! So remeber in that example about the scared kid with the roller coaster? Yeah...that fear is your "doubts". But those have zero power over you. And the care taker holding your hand? That's me and every other truthful manifestor and shifter telling you this. And you? You are the scared kid going to do this and totally rock this! You are going to trust and have faith (even if its little) and just believe. Remeber...the "3d" is just bs and a refelction of your thoughts. Oh you think this will take weeks to trust? No duh! If your thinking like that. What I want you to do is just remeber that the "3d" is JUST a reflection of your thoughts. And it is real but all you need to do is shift your awareness to that reality where you have blah blah or shift your awareness to your dr. Also if you didn't know...shifting and manifesting are the same thing but manifesting is like a "sub genre:" of shifting. I'll explain that in another post.

🦇Method: ☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

🕷This is a simple method I'm making up on the spot which will be similar to the intetion method. You can use this for manifesting And shifting. It's a few steps really 🦴STEP 1: Have desire 🦴STEP 2: The moment you think it you truly do have it. And if your like "you don't see it" no offence but you might as well start over cause that's how you "fail" hun. I dont care what the hell you see according to that dck "3d" THE FACT YOUR IMAGINING IT MEANS YOUR DESIRE IS THERE AND DONE. Trust in that. I dont care if it takes an entire year, the "3d" is forced to follow your desires if you persist and trust you really have it. It IS guaranteed but only if you make it guaranteed

☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆:

Ps...you can manifest and shift to whatever. You may have limits in this specific reality like you can't fly...but shift your awareness to a reality where you CAN fly. Everything you can an can't comprehend exists already through an infinite amount of realities. Manifesting is the same as shifting and is as easy as you make it. So yes you could manifest a unicorn if you want. Or if you want a long dck you can manifest it...you can manifest your ariana grande for gods sakeᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ

xoxo, seifarria signed out♥♥

Edit: tbh...idk what I was yappin about here. Uhm...forget I made this unless it was actually useful to you but take this with a grain of salt. I had something here but I was wording it all weird. This is totally going into the gutters of my tumblr acc

[klm-zoflorr]

Are you done with those incorrect quotes? I know i'm not! Part 10!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Levi, after visiting Hange's house: Your house is haunted

Hange: Wait, what? Why?

Levi: You live there

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Floch (about Zeke): Something's not right about him.

Eren: Oh really, what gave him away? The creepy laugh or the evil music?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hange: Hmph. I was expecting a battle of wits, but you appear to be unarmed...

Zeke: Your mom suck me good and hard thru my jorts

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke: Hmph. The reckless swing of the sword may often be more deadly than the refined stroke of the pen...

Hange: Shut up nerd

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Historia: Based? Based on what?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Flight attendant: Is there a doctor onboard?

Grisha: *nudging Zeke* that should've been you

Zeke: Not now Dad

Grisha: Not asking for a Graphic Designer to help, are they?

Zeke: Dad, there's a medical emergency happening right now

Grisha: Why don't you save him as a PDF & see if that helps

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: Dad, what's a forklift?

Grisha: Food, usually.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Historia: I'm bored

Ymir: You could kiss me.

Ymir: Just sayin'

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Levi: You look like a corpse that was just pulled out of the river.

Hange: Wrong. I look like a cool rock star who just OD’d in their own pool. Big difference.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Historia: By default, my favorite way to win!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Gabi: Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems.

Gabi: Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Marcel: As your brother and best friend-

Porco: Pieck is my best friend.

Marcel, holding a knife: As your bestest of friends-

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Levi: I love you

Hange: -Sorry what was that?

Levi: I SAID, I'm selling you to the ZOO.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sasha: Hey, I just had a thought-...

Gabi: Your parents are gonna be so proud

(Boo. She killed her for the second time!)

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Levi: Do you understand the plan?

Hange, confidently: Yes!

*Levi leaves them*

Hange, turning to the others: Did anyone understan-

Reiner: No

Mikasa: No

Commander Magath: No

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Armin: We need to figure out where Eren took Zeke. If you were him, where would you go?

Hange: Strip club

Mikasa: Titan killing seminar

Hange: Bar

Mikasa: Therapy

Hange: Strip club

Mikasa: Dude you already said that. Why would Eren take his brother to a strip club?

Hange: For the free buffet!

Pieck, pipping in: It is, in any case, very likely that Zeke would take Eren to a strip club. And not just for the free buffet!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke: Waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning

Pieck:

Porco: GROSS.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner: The best part of an oreo is the cookie part, not the frosting. Deal with it.

Marcel: Darkness without light is an abyss. Light without darkness is blinding. You cannot have a coin with one side.

Porco: YO SOCRATES! IT'S A FUCKING COOKIE!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke flirting: You can call me what you like, but you should call me yours ;)

Eren flirting: Lets eat the foam from the headrest together

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke: Not to brag or anything but there's no limit to the amount of mass destruction I'm willing to go through with

Levi: See, this is why nobody likes you

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

14 yo Pieck: I think I have a crush on Zeke

Porco: Zeke as in Zeke Yaeger?

Pieck: Yes. Thoughts?

Porco: And prayers girl, fucking hell

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Eren in Paths, barely concealing Ymir Fritz behind himself*

Zeke: Uhhh, watcha got there?

Eren, also holding a smoothie: A smoothie

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Gabi: Have I ever told you how much I love and respect you?

Reiner: We are not stopping at McDonald’s.

Gabi: This is BULLSHIT

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Erwin: Who's the strongest out of your training corps?

Jean: Mikasa

Annie: Mikasa

Eren: Mikasa

Mikasa: Me

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Gabi looking for something under her bed*

Gabi, pulling out a twenty: Aww, $20. I wanted a peanut!

Pieck: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.

Gabi: Explain how

Pieck: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Pieck, picking up the phone: 911 what's your emergency

Pieck: What do you mean you're being murdered?

Pieck: That's illegal people can't do that

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Commander Magath: *talking about one of their targets for the mission*

Porco, flicking Zeke awake: Hey, it's an important debriefing, pay attention!

Zeke: I don't care about the lore of this idiot

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hange: *Kicks open the door* PUPPETS!

Levi, looking straight at the camera: And so begins another conversation that will test the limits of my sanity.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Mikasa standing in the middle of a dozen Yaegerists, all knocked out or otherwise killed*

Floch, having just arrived on the scene: I should call the alarm for this but honestly that's kinda hot

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke: PORCO YOU BITCH! GET IN HERE!

Porco: Wha?

Zeke: *points to trashcan* What’s THIS?

Porco: Uh, my leftover fries.

Zeke: Mhm, yes. And WHY are they in the fucking trash can?!

Porco: Cuz I was done?

Zeke: OH PLEASE. IT’S LIKE YOU DONT KNOW ME. I WILL NOT PUT UP WITH THIS SHIT.

Porco: OH YEAH, YOU SON OF A BITCH?!

Zeke: YEAH. AND I AM A SON OF A BITCH, FOR THE FUCKING RECORD.

Gabi, screaming too: I WANNA JOIN YOUR FUCKING CUSS CONTEST!

Reiner: >:(

Porco: >:(

Commander Magath: >:(

Zeke: *proud*

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner, exasperated: Do you just like arguing for arguing's sake?

Sasha, who has been arguing multiple contradictory points: no!?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Gabi: I missed you

Falco: It's been, like, an hour.

Gabi: Tell me about it!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Annie: YOU MEAN A LOT TO ME!

Armin: Wh-

Annie: YOU’RE ESSENTIAL TO MY EXISTENCE!

Armin: Why are you screaming?!

Annie: I HAVE DIFFICULTY EXPRESSING MYSELF! IT HELPS TO SAY SENTIMENTAL THINGS IN AN AGGRESSIVE TONE!

Armin:

Annie: I FUCKING LOVE YOU!!!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Armin: The Ocean is a Soup.

Eren:

Eren: Do elaborate.

Armin: What are needed for something to be a soup?

Eren: Erm... Water, salt, some form of vegetables, and personally I prefer some meat in mine.

Armin: *nods along*

Eren: The Ocean is a Soup.

Armin: The Ocean is a Soup.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: *screams in rage so hard he tears his own vocal chords*

Mikasa: *gets caught up in the Killing and Maiming and then slips and falls in a blood puddle*

Armin, tearing up: You two are so perfect for each other. Please never get anyone else involved.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa: Where's Eren?

Reiner: Don't worry, I'll find him

Reiner, shouting: MIKASA SUCKS!!

Eren, in the distance: WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT

Reiner: found him.

Mikasa: I should be offended, but honestly I'm kinda impressed

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Commander Magath: Did you take out Queen Historia as I requested?

Reiner: Queen Historia has been taken out, yes.

Commander Magath: Great jo-

Reiner: It was a great restaurant.

Reiner: We had a romantic candlelit dinner.

Reiner: I proposed afterwards- we’re filing the wedding papers.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke, He's Also There For Some Reason: So do I have to give you the shovel talk now?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sasha: Appartment "complex"? I actually find it quite simple.

Gabi: And that's why you deserved to get shot.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa: Dad I'm hungry

Grisha: Hi Hungry I'm Dad

Mikasa: Stop that! It's been 10 hours, I'm not joking!

Grisha: Well no, you're Hungry!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Marcel: We got the torture labyrinth tomorrow

Annie: What?

Marcel: We gotta get tortured for eternity tomorrow

Annie: Ohhhh

Annie: Okay

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sasha: How do I make my date with Niccolo romantic?

Connie: I don't know, try being mysterious?

*Later*

Niccolo: So, where are we going?

Sasha: None of your fucking business.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?

Mikasa: Nope, absolutely not.

Zeke: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.

Connie: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.

Annie: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.

Porco: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hange: Am I in trouble?

Erwin: I'm gonna give you three guesses, Hange.

Hange: No!

Erwin:

Hange: No?

Erwin:

Hange: ...No?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Levi: You tried to make the trainees go "explore" into Bean's throat "for science", for God's sake. What could possibly make you think you're not in trouble?!

Hange: Hey! They probably wouldn't have died! Moblit was holding the rope real tight!

Levi: How much time has that poor kid been assigned to you for, too? At this point I'm wondering if he's a masochist or has just worked retail before.

Hange:

Levi: In any case, he probably shouldn't be allowed to continue. But hey, we're a bit too understaffed to care. Send him my condoleances when he inevitably goes insane.

Hange: You're not even gonna bother to do it yourself?

Levi: No.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Levi: They're re-running "Hell's Kitchen" episodes on Sundays

Levi: Consider me booked for the foreseeable future

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke, lying: Why would I lie

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Porco, trying to find out who to advise they send as a negociator: Is Zeke even good with his tongue?

Pieck: *raising her eyebrows very unequivocally*

Porco: Put those back down! Okay, I get it.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Gabi: Is she stupid?

Connie: Yes, but she prefers to be called Sasha.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa: Customer spilt pickle juice on the floor today

Eren: HOW

Eren: YOU WORK AT AN ART STORE

Mikasa: She brought her own

Eren: WHAT

Hange: *sipping her pickle juice while watching tv* My spidey sense is tingling.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Historia: It's ok to ask for help

Armin: You're not a burden

Annie: Murder is okay

Reiner: Your feelings matter

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*15+ years into the future*

Unknown number: I'm moving and found a black machete under my bed. Is it yours?

Gabi: Who is this?

Zofia: Zofia, from military school

Gabi: Bro I ain't even talked to you in 6 years and this is how you get in touch 💀

Zofia: Well you're the only person I can think of that might leave a machete at my house

Gabi: Wait is it a Ka-bar?

Zofia: Hold on i'll check

Zofia: Yes.

Gabi: Okay yeah that's mine

Gabi: How have you not looked under your bed in six years??

Zofia: I feel like that's really not the most important question here

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Marcel: Any advice before we go to the Devils' island, War Chief?

Zeke: Don’t wet yourself in public.

Marcel: Not the kind of advice I was looking for!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Armin: Try to see things from Historia's perspective. She must be really heartbroken by you leaving her.

Eren: From her perspective?

Eren: *crouches down*

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Niccolo: I got you shrimp fried rice!

Sasha:

Sasha: You're telling me a shrimp fried this rice?!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Gabi: Did Falco just tell me he loves me ?

Colt: Yeah, he did.

Gabi: And did I just do finger guns back?

Colt: Yeah, you did.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Gabi has failed something*

Levi: What happened?

Gabi, tearing up: I don't know...

Levi: Don't worry, don't worry, look, I'm here to help you. Please don't get upset. Hey! Don't worry!

*The 104th have failed their mission*

Levi: Listen, listen, listen, LISTEN.

Levi, pointing at Jean: Fuck off.

Levi, pointing at Sasha: Fuck off

Levi, pointing at Mikasa: You're on thin fucking ice.

Levi, pointing at Reiner: Fuck off!

Levi, pointing at Eren: Fuck off!!

Levi: *To all* GET OUT!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: Not knowing about Greek Mythology is my Achilles' Horse.

Armin, visibly shaking: Eren.

Eren: Uh oh, I've really opened a Pandora's Labyrinth here haven't I

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Professor Smith: Okay, who can answer Question 4?

Annie: 45

Mikasa: Ugh, I got 38

Professor Smith: What?

Sasha: I answered that the mitochondria was the powerhouse of the cell.

Connie: My answer was North America

Jean: North what?

Eren: Mine was this drawing of my childhood dog Tonny, who got tragically driven over by a cart at the tender age of 7 months old.

Professor Smith: This is a geology class.

Armin: And question 4 was a true or false question.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke, telling the story of the battle of Shiganshina: ...And then I escaped, unscathed!

Pieck: You were bleeding from so many parts of your body you were practically a cloud of steam.

Zeke: Okay, fine, I was a little scathed.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Sasha works as a McDonalds employee*

Colt, entering the store: Hello I'd like to buy a bagel with cream cheese

Sasha: Sorry, we only take cash or credit.

Manager Magath: can i talk to you real quick

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Bertholt: You know small animals are more vicious than larger ones. it's because they have less room to bottle up their anger.

Reiner: Okay, good theory, give me one example.

Bertholt: Wasps, spiders…

Zeke: Annie

Annie, offended: Bitch!

Zeke: See!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Grisha: Listen, Mr Tough Guy, your fists aren’t gonna get you out of every problem.

Eren: I figured, so I got a knife.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner: Yesterday, I overheard Gabi saying, “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Zeke replying, “Trust me,” and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: Armin, this is Annie, the girl who kicked my ass into the dust yesterday. Annie, this is Armin, he's a nerd.

Armin: That's pretty.

Annie: What?

Armin: Your name, you have a pretty name

Eren: *snorts*

Armin: What? I said exactly what you told me to about girls, Eren!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Armin: I think I have a crush on Annie

Mikasa: *gasps*

Mikasa: Why am I gasping? I already knew that.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Court Magician (Hange wearing a fake mustache): I can make anything disappear

Historia: *holding cup* Do it to my tea

Hange: *waves hand* Done.

His oria: *holding cup* It didn't work

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Floch: I just... I’m terrible at expressing myself, ok?

Eren: Don’t worry, actions speak louder than words!

Floch: Yes, but my actions are also terrible.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke: I don't think it's fair that women have an excuse, once a month, to act irrationally angry, when the rest of us have to keep it together all the time!

Annie: You're irrationally angry 365 days a year!

Zeke: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Pieck: Hey, she has a good point. Why are you always so god dang happy on the 29th of february?

Zeke: It's the anniversary of my parents' deportation.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sasha and Niccolo: *making out on the couch*

Niccolo: Wanna take this to the bedroom?

Sasha: Sure

*They get up*

Sasha: *starts lifting the couch*

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke: Eren, you're getting older now, it's time for you to start acting your own age.

Mikasa: *running past them* The floor is lava!

Zeke: *standing on the sofa* HAHA YOU LOSE EREN!

Eren: I just-

Grisha: *on top of the fridge* No, Eren, you know the rules. You lose.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Falco: *Throwing himself on Colt's bed, blushing* I have a crush

Colt: It's always a crush, never a job

Falco: I'm twelve??

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: Damn, this escape room is hard

Zeke: Eren? We're in jail.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Grisha: Can you boys believe this all started with a family dinner?

Zeke: Honestly, I'm better right here.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Colt: Where's Gabi?

Pieck: Doing stuff.

Colt: Don't like the sound of that. Reiner?

Pieck: Trying to stop her from doing stuff.

Colt: What about Falco?

Pieck: Stopping Reiner from stopping Gabi.

Colt: ... you?

Pieck: I'm distracting you so you don't try to stop Falco.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: You’re giving me a sticker?

Hange: Not just any sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying, “me-WOW”

Eren: I am not a preschooler.

Hange: Fine, I'll take it back then.

Eren, practically hissing: I earned this. back off.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke: What day is today?

Pieck: It's our marriage anniversary.

Zeke: Wrong answer!

Pieck: *sigh* It's the day during which we remember that we are the best couple out there.

Zeke: We are!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Gabi: Pieck, how do I get revenge on my enemies?

Pieck: The best revenge is letting go and living your life to the fullest.

Gabi:...

Gabi: Annie how do I-

Annie: Brick.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Levi: Eren needs new clothes

Hange: What’s wrong with the ones he has now? I bought them for him.

Levi: Yeah, exactly.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Eren and Zeke are fighting*

Pieck: Is someone going to stop them? They’re going to hurt each other!

Porco: I think they’re okay 

*Zeke slams Eren into the ground*

Porco: They’re fine 

*Eren putting Zeke in a chokehold*

Pieck: We need to stop them!

Porco: They’re fine, Pieck. This is how siblings fight.

*Zeke pulls out a knife*

Pieck: What the f-

*Eren bites his hand*

Porco: It’s normal for siblings to fight. Marcel once chased me with an axe 

Pieck: An axe??

Porco: Mhm. But that was only after I pushed him through a window 

Pieck:

Porco, defensively: It was on the first floor! He just sprained his ankle. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner: Oh, and one last thing. Stay out of trouble!

Gabi: Not my strong suit.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Flight attendant: Now, before we take off, please ensure that all small items are secured.

Zeke: *looks over at Historia*

Historia: What?

Zeke, whispering: Do you feel safe?

Historia: I will hit you.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Commander Magath: Enough! How dare you mock me in such a manner!

Connie: How else would you like me to mock you? I take requests.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hange: Maybe once, try to see things my way !

Levi: Well, your way is crazy. And illegal.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Gabi: Mom, help! There's a monster under my bed, and it's really ugly!

Reiner, on the bottom bunk: Hey!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Rod Reiss: No one loves me! :(

Historia:

Eren:

Alma:

The people who he ruled for years and did not help one iota:

The ghost of Frieda:

The ghost of Uri Reiss:

The ghost of his wife:

The ghost of Ymir Fritz:

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Pieck: When I was a kid, I tried to form a gang

Reiner: Wow, how did it go?

Pieck: It turned into a book club.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Bertholt: I heard you ask for cookies, so I made you some!

Annie: Well I'm not hungry anymore.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa: I like to think of myself as a semi responsible adult.

Connie: Armin is 70% of your impulse control and you know this.

Armin: I feel like Mikasa is the more responsible one of us two though.

Mikasa: We are both 70% of each others' impulse control.

Armin: Just two lil beasts in pinwheel hats spinning on the merry-go-round at dangerous velocities, holding each other’s hands so the other doesn’t fall off.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: Saving the Eldians, freeing the world, this is such an important and difficult mission... Dad, what if I flop?

Grisha: Oh, my darling, what if you slay?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sasha, squinting: Armin, what are you doing?

Armin: Eating chocolate pudding

Sasha: It's four in the morning, why are you eating chocolate pudding?

Armin, hands shaking: Because I've lost control of my life

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Armin: I'll remind you that you too are up in the kitchen at 4 am. What are YOU doing here?

Sasha: I took a break from sleeping to get a snack.

Armin:

Sasha: I know what it looks like, but in my case that's just regular behavior. I get sad if I don't have my 3 am PB & J sandwich

Armin: It's 4 am

Sasha: Whatever. I've got a stomach, not a clock down there.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hange, up too now: What are you guys doing up?

Armin, loudly: JESUS, can't a guy have a mental breakdown in PEACE?!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sasha, after Armin went to lock himself in the bathroom to scream away: So, what are you doing up that early?

Hange: *says something so absolutely, uniquely unhinged the author couldn't possibly dare to transcribe it to this here web page*

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connie: Defend my thesis? Like, with a sword?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke: Yeah, some of my clothes are from my enemies.

Zeke: Sometimes you kill some bastard and then go, "Ooh those are some nice pants!"

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Gabi: If we grew up together, would we have snuck out?

Falco: I snuck out once for like 30 minutes. I got so scared that I ran back home and hid in bed.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Historia: Have you ever not liked someone in a romantic way but everything is just so cool. I mean look at Ymir. She’s beautiful, talented, caring even when she doesn't say it and cool but I would never like her that way.

Ymir: *smiles softly at Historia*

Historia: Oh.

Historia: Oh no

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner, blinking: Bert, why are we lying on the ground?

Bertholt: You got beat up by Annie and knocked unconscious.

Bertholt: I laid next to you so people would think we were just chilling.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa: Historia says you never buy her flowers. Is that true?

Ymir: To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Ymir: I don't "struggle with same-sex attraction", I'm actually very good at it.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Also Ymir: Need to kiss a girl or I'll die

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Yeah, Historia isn't really the kind to respond "I will hit you" to something someone said. But, you know? Maybe Zeke triggers some sort of Cain instinct in her. That makes total sense to me. The guy's very punchable.

Masterpost

Bonus of an alternative version of this one:

Yelena: We need to figure out where Levi took Zeke. If you were him, where would you go?

Floch: Strip club

Eren: Titan killing seminar

Floch: Bar

Eren: Cleaning personel convention

Floch: Strip club

Eren: Dude you already said that. Why would Levi take his arch-enemy to a strip club?

Floch: For the free buffet!

[therealms-number1angirl]

The Demon King Chapters 7-11

05/26/24

Chapter Seven:

Both Han and Raisa having to deal with "oh, no, my best friend grew up and got hot" is actually hilarious.

And then she does the same with her own son 😖

Something, something, the garden turning into Raisa and Amon's spot to Raisa and Han's spot, something, something

Amon is such a dork, I wish this part of him lasted longer 🤧

I feel so bad for her. All she's ever wanted was a FRIEND 😭 (remembering what happens in that same garden about a year later 🤧)

The Byrnes are so smart, if only people (marianna) listened

Oh, sweetie...

If you follow my blog, you're probably aware that I am NOT a raimon fan. And this is one of the reasons why they didn't work and why they will NEVER work. He'll always view her as his superior in a way, and she'll always be able to pull rank on him, just as he accused her of doing even at Oden's Ford. It's their dynamic, and it's the way of their friendship, but it doesn't make for a healthy romance.

Raisa, go girl, do ur thing 🤭

It's funny that Raisa became much more enjoyable as a character to me the first time around when she was able to make a few of her own choices. She got to taste freedom for the first time, and it helped her grow up.

Hanson, your time is coming 🤭

Chapter Eight:

HOW DARE CINDA WRITE THIS WHEN SHE ALREADY KNEW THE ENDING 😤

Also, he was such a girl dad already, i can't 😭

FIRST JEMSON APPEARANCE!!!

don't think about flamecaster, don't think about (how jemson outlives han bc history repeated itself) flamecaster, don't think about flamecaster-- MAKER HELP ME, CINDA WHHHYYYY???

Do you think that she ended up not going that route so that the parallels between hanalea/alger and raisa/han wouldn't be SUPER obvious?

Everyone still thinking that Han is streetlord 🤦‍♀️ poor cat, my girl never gets her accolades.

AMON!!!

Their friendship means a lot to me, okay?

Chapter Nine:

Another Vega mention, another "fufufufufufufufuf--" note <3

Raisa's family is so complicated, she's being pulled in every which direction, my poor baby girl 🤧

Genuine question, is a mother guilting you about the fact that they will one day die NOT a normal conversation topic?

Does everybody's moms suck in this world? Except for dancer's ofc... like, raisa really was just doing the best she could with the examples that she had.

Just learned that cennestre apparently means 'mother'? ELENA DOES NOT DESERVE THAT TITLE!

Nobody is on my girl's side, WHERE IS HANSON ALISTER WHEN YOU NEED HIM???

Chapter Ten:

Okay, so I will admit that when I read Chapter Ten six years ago, I had been starting to get worried that i had misread the point of the story, and raisa and han weren't going to be romantic pair. and i do remember thinking that if raimon was all i was going to get, it would be okay... dear, maker, am i glad that that did not turn out to be the case <3

I wrote a rain fanfic with this exact premise 😭

Another reason raimon doesn't work romantically is Amon's first priority is to the line, not the specific queen. Yes, he cares for raisa, but he won't let that win out on his sense of duty, even back when he was just a corporal.

RAISA HEARING ABOUT HER FUTURE HUSBAND 🤭 (yes, i really am that desperate for rain crumbs, how did you know?)

Chapter Eleven:

I FORGOT THAT WILLO WAS IN THIS CHAPTER OMG 😭

Was Dancer trying to use wizard healing on Han? Was that the vibe i was getting here?

well... that part wasn't... totally false...

Wait a minute, was this on purpose?

There's something very special about this relationship too, okay?

DON'T WORRY, JEMSON, HE GETS THERE!!!

OFC SHE DOES, SHE RAISED THAT BOY 👏

pausing tonight, bc the next few chapters are my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE, and i can only post a limited amount of photos per post.

[measuringbliss]

So I guess this is a Succession S2 finale reaction post + a review of season 2 as a whole.

On one hand, the Con-head stuff is delightful. On the other hand, I feel like a fan of the Muskrat–but Connor is fictional, so it's fine.

The writers completely predicted that we would love the firstbump.

Roman is such a great character. They're (almost) all great characters. I love that he gets a chance to shine.

Gosh Connor is so hot.

I'm enjoying this episode simply thanks to the vacation vibes.

Some stuff hits close to home though...

I really enjoy Tom and Shiv as a couple because sometimes they're incompatible but other times, like when they discuss the threesome, they're trying to support each other anyway.

HAHAHAHAAHAHA no but for real don't let it be Gerri I love her. And Roman subtly supports her too! Roman is on fire this episode. And this whole scene is excellent, truly comedy genius. Matthew MacFayden plays the pathetic loser expertly.

Gerri must be respected as well.

Tom really is a pathetic little meow meow, I can't help but pity him.

So Stewy comes to the rescue and naturally enjoys it a lot. He's tired (as am I) of Ken's baseless, stupid, infantile speeches. Stewy is me?!

"Thank you for the chicken is a great scene."

So after making us agonize, Logan picks Kendall. It's a betrayal, of course, of the one who's been his lapdog for a whole season. Hopefully this triggers a change in Kendall, because while seeing less of him this season was great, I was almost beginning to warm up to him.

"The truth is that my father is malignant presence, a bully and a liar..."

oh. what.

so that makes it much more interesting. Kendall finally had agency in his own story! That's good.

tier list time! Stewy went up because he's the one bitch who sees everything as it is. Roman went up because he finally got compelling moments this season. Rhea had an annoying voice but I enjoyed making fun of her so she's fun too. Greg went down! I'm sorry Greg, your shtick is limited, your role doesn't have much range and as it is, you're simply unneeded. Mom Roy was very interesting to see but I needed more. Ken's girlfriend is fine but doesn't amount to much, I always wonder who she is because I keep forgetting her. Kendall went up! Good for him.

Logan got some losses this season and was better, but he's still, you know, Logan. But he was better this season. And overall, the season itself was much better, notably thanks to not having a shitty final episode. Looking at my grades, only eps 2 & 3 went below 8/10. Meanwhile, in S1, only 3 episodes went *above* 7/10 (6, 7 and 9) while the finale achieved the lowest grade for now, 3/10.

I just reread my review of the first season and I still stand by it.

Let's consider my conclusion:

I absolutely still consider the curtains make people think more of the show than what it actually is. It could be more funny, more incisive, more fun. However, S2 was a clear improvement on that front. We got more of the other characters, thanks to Kendall staying in the background and Logan being put down a few times.

And I know *what* happens in 4x03 and honestly can't wait to be there. Maybe then will the show be finally what it aims to be: excellent.

[rantsintechnicolor]

I love books: the gentle art of swedish death cleaning

Let’s talk about stuff. Let’s talk about stuff and things. 

Ugh. 

A few things seem to be true about stuff:

-If there is space in your house, you will fill it with stuff. 

-Stuff needs care. Stuff needs maintenance. 

-As the world becomes more complicated there is less time for us to take care of all our stuff.

I believe in less stuff. Do I live that life? It’s been a hard transition to be able to answer, “mostly.” I only buy special and favorite books (all the books at the library are mine), stuff I need, and consumable treats. Sometimes I really want something, but I now ask myself if I really need it, do I have the time to take care of it, can I resell it or gift it to a new and happy home if I do decide to buy it? It’s worked pretty well for the most part. And the one thing in, one thing out rule works pretty well, too. But I do still have a fair amount of stuff that I haven’t touched in years.

Remember I said if there is space in your house, you will fill it with stuff? Do you agree? This is absolutely true for my dad, because as soon as my brother and I left, dad filled in the empty spaces where we had been. In recent years mom has been unable to contribute to the pile of shit--well, she’s

*at least *trying to downsize as much as she can with her limited mobility. And dear gods, they need to. If there is a fire in that house they are both dead. And there

has been a fire. And they got lucky. Mom lost a few favorite puppets (she was a teacher and she used them in her classroom). Guess what? She had to have them replaced. Me? I wouldn’t do that. It’s burned, it’s broken, stuff doesn’t last forever, oh well. I enjoyed it when it was mine, so it’s purpose has been fulfilled and I have good memories. That’s all I really need. 

The daunting task of cleaning out my parents home when they are dead is terrifying to me. I want to grieve for them properly. I don’t want to stress about going through their stuff. 

Dad is not a fan of Marie Kondo. “She threatens my inventory.” Oh. My. God. Palm to my forehead. He really said that. And so do I, by trying to point out to him what he does and doesn’t need.

“Dad, you don’t even know what you have? Where is the list of your inventory?” My point to him is, he needs to get organized. He doesn't even know where things are. With organization There will be labels and similar things stored together. Surely, he doesn’t need two of those thingamabobbers. What does he even use them for anyway? When did he last need one? All he does is keep bees and my mom all day, go camping and hiking once in a while, and why oh why does he keep all that newspaper?! Piles of it. I could throw a pile out the upstairs window and make it rain newspapers. It’s fuel for the fire that could kill them! Dad is not careless, but we both know he is just careless enough.

So, I read this book to see if it would be good for my parents. I liked it. I learned some things. There's a section about gifts, furniture, personal effects, secrets, and even cookbooks. There is something in it for everyone, because we don't really know when we are going to die. This should honestly be part of everyone's spring cleaning AND people should just try not to “need” more stuff in general-- we are mining the earth for all these things and when will it be enough?! (don’t buy it new, get it used! Rent stuff. Fix stuff that’s broken. Don’t just send it to the landfill. Find it a new home. It’s just a little broken? Well someone might know how to fix it so give it to them or sell it for cheap!)

Ultimately, my parents need a several pronged approach and just one book or method will not work. I sent them an episode of the Ologies podcast with Alie Ward when she interviews a couple that help purge and organize who own a company called Horderly (lol, get it?). They organize and purge compulsively anyway, are fantastic at it, so they might as well support themselves that way. I do love a well-labeled, having-a-place-for-everything kind of closet. 

Besides, you’ll never know when you need to up and move. An Earthquake might crack the foundation on your house making it unsafe. A hurricane or blizzard may blow the roof off your house, and wouldn’t it be nice to know you had less stuff to lose to water damage, mold, and mildew? Someone’s dad might die and the apartment where you live will need to be sold to settle the estate and the new bastards that buy it will want to turn out you without negotiation because of their fucking bottom line, but you didn’t ask for this and you did nothing wrong because you have been amazing tenants for over 20 years and it feels like all of humanity has betrayed you because it has allowed this to happen to millions of folks, so many folks they have to pass laws to protect tenants, which clearly don’t protect us, because they don’t keep them or us from becoming homeless, because this is how it happens folks, this is how people become homeless and go into debt because of fuckers like this that make you have to downsize all your stuff so you can move into something you can afford which will be a pit compared to the place you helped take care of for so many years. 

Ahem.

There is no better way to say, “fuck you, capitalism” by refusing to buy new stuff. We really do need a better economy around used and recycled things. All fabric stores should have a scrap fabric bin so those pieces can be recycled. More clothing stores are starting to take old clothes for recycling, which is so great. Thredup and Poshmark and stores like that are doing extremely well with online thrifting. Honestly, all my clothes are used, except socks and underwear… I might sometimes buy new shoes, and I do go for the pricey, well-built ones that will take at least seven years to wear out.

So, yeah. I do have stuff that I haven’t touched in years. I do not know if I will ever pick it up again. I don’t mind downsizing (I do mind the greedy fucks that made me do it during the holiday season when I should be concentrating on my small, struggling business). More stuff means more stress. And I really could do with less stress. So could we all.

[yanderelovlies]

✨Galaxy Anon ✨ here!

Oh viví but how could you deprive me of this privilege?! It’s too good lol!

Yea like i’m so picky on even getting something I want from the store. The most you will see me ask my mom is for food because I want a snack. I life really have to have a whole debate with myself if the item is something more I want than need if I really want it or I could live without it. So when people give me stuff I feel guilty or use it a lot so it doesn’t go to waste.

You sure? Some sound childish I guess I’m my opinion or many wouldn’t understand my perspective on things and call me one of those fans which makes me close up. If you’re sure I guess it be alright, and no worries you aren’t straightforward in a way that is disrespectful and I like your blunt on what you are saying. Maybe someone could be selling it somewhere! Was it limited edition or something?

You know if I was in your shoes I give up because dammit math is hard so I commend you for even still trying since I don’t understand algebra and my math teacher must’ve been horrified on my scores. Oh those sound fun especially evaluating people behavior and also traits. Ooh his dog? He must’ve been fun!

It’s my job now vivi! Gotta make you feel happiness with compliments!

Glad your spending your time also making time for them and showing you care. Still make sure you have some time for yourself! You deserve that much vivi! Also what did you sing?

Honestly the amount cases for death, assault in one or the other way is scary. Why do you think I’m such a hermit? Other than work I like staying at my house since I feel safe and just shit happens outside like what the hell?! It’s actually a surprise now when nothing goes horrible for once in the news. Have that pepper spray vivi and good for being safe! Good because while I’m paranoid I loving having my headphones on for music and well if I’m distracted enough I would be a easy target. Damn I need to learn self defense.

Thanks vivi! I mean those customers a little less common at least. Most are nice or you can leave them alone enough and they be cool. Unfortunately that is true since I’m just trying to work and some people are unnecessarily mean for some reason or get mad when you bother them to ask what they even want to drink like I’m just trying to get your order since you wanted to eat.

Lol come back during business hours.

Me too! Even if I'm buying it myself I'm always sitting there and complaining if I really need it or not. I usually miss out on good shit, but I always feel bad for spending mine or other people's money on stuff I don't need to survive. It weird lowkey frustrating.

I don't mind at all! I love hearing about people's fandoms and what they love about them. So throw them my way I wanna see 🥺🥺💕💕. Also, I found a shirt on aliexpress, but the original place I found no longer sells, but I'm gonna keep looking and hoping.

Honestly, I thought about it, but going back to my last job scares me more. So I'll take my chances with the math lol. Also, I've only taken one semester of those classes, but I still had a lot of fun and even learned some cool tips for helping manage anxiety.

Just you taking the time to talk to me makes me happy. It's always nice to hear from you. 🥺💕💕

We were singing all kinds of things. Musicals, their favorite songs, and some random they fell into line.

Me too! If I'm allowed I stay inside with all my favorite things where I am safe. As for the headphone thing me too I have these big ones that I take, but they are loud enough so I can just have them hang around my neck and still hear them.

It's like people these days forgot how to be kind to one another. It's sad, and I always feel bad for those who get the terrible treatment for just doing their job. I am glad they aren't frequent for you though.

[recapcrew]

Week 36 Transcript

Video

Intro

Extra extra, read all about it! Welcome to the Empire’s Recap, and today we will be going over the chaos and drama of our (somewhat) respected rulers!

This week we have the long awaited video from Oli TheOrionSound, in which many things happen including meeting the hermits, saying goodbye to the hermits, and realizing parenthood is stressful!

Oli

Our story begins with a quick recap of Oli’s time on the Hermitcraft server, including but not limited to leaving sign graffiti and writing the Christmas song “the real jim sheriff”.

Eventually his travels lead him back to the Olipelago.

In the 4 months Oli has been gone, he gained a lute—

[OLI] –cheek for the journey, goodbye god! …Nooo! No! I’m in Sanctuary! God has pushed me off the stairs! The bloody nerve of these Gods!

[NARRATOR] —Hosted a festival—

[OLI] –pretty penny! We’re rich, boys, we’re rich! Woo! It’s thanks to you, it’s thanks to you, and most of all it’s thanks to me!

[NARRATOR] And dealt with some inter dimensional visitors.

[OLI] What's your sick goal you short charlatan!

[NARRATOR] Who of course couldn’t resist visiting the great Olipelago!

[OLI] Don't read that, don't read that, ey!

[GRIAN] Debt? You're in debt To Gobland? YOU NOW OWE 81 DIAMONDS??

[OLI] Yeah, I've only made two episodes!

[NARRATOR] Also, our sincere apologies to Katherine's tailoring shop for the brief period of “Hermitopia not being in a glass box”… not that it seems to stop anybody.

One of the Hermits, Pearl, who looks incredibly like God who pushed him off a cloud, visits the Olipelago and helps out a bit despite the allegations. Probably having a rough time of it on the road to el dorado.

The Olipelago has expanded tremendously with its incredible second tent solely for beetroot. It is somewhat appropriate that the bard is the only one who lives off beets.

But disaster strikes! The dragon egg is starting to hatch!

[SHELBY MUTTERING] Temperature looks normal…

[OLI] What’s the diagnosis, doc?

[SHELBY] Well, not only am I not a doctor but I have exactly 0 medical training--

[OLI] Mhm mhm

[SHELBY] --but as far as I can tell… it’s a boy!

Pix and Gem reject the idea of having a dragon on the surface and Many an attempt to destroy said egg occurs - because it keeps coming back - before an understanding bridges the gap between Oli and surprise adoption.

To be a good parent you must have somewhere safe for them - so of course Oli builds a tiny Sydney opera house for the child and then goes searching for parenting advice.

[OLI] You’re a pesky little man aren’t you!

[NARRATOR] Lizzie’s parenting advice pretty much amounts to severe paranoia - Oli takes notes.

Pix’s advice is child labour, but considering said child is a copper aging facility he can be forgiven.

Joel, being Hermes’ parent, should have some good advice, but he doesn’t seem to know anything about children despite having several. He recommends… dancing?

Brief interlude for flirting with Sausage's dad, and then we meet the other father of Hermes, who actually gives reasonable advice as they watch the sunset. Before suddenly the egg starts to hatch - too late to back out now!

Sausage and Oli drag the egg to Shelby as she's the only one on this server even vaguely knowledgeable and they take the egg to the sun temple in Sanctuary to keep it warm enough.

[SHELBY] Deep breaths! I don’t—I’ve never—I’m not ready to be a mom, I have student loans—

[OLI] You’re not having the child, no! I’m having the child!

[SHELBY] Oh!

[NARRATOR] They set a fire surrounding the egg, and Oli ends up sitting on it to keep it warm before it starts to float in the air.

Some severe magical stuff is happening on this server, and Oli slips off the egg and his new dragon child lands at his feet.

To be continued…

Jimmy

In other news, Tumble town has been given a very odd copper statue of a cod! The mesa feels like an odd place to put that…

Anyway, to finish the rails to the train station Jimmy needs some iron in bulk supply. Unfortunately he doesn’t have any iron, let alone diamonds to pay False to use her iron farm. That’s an easy fix though, just gotta go mining!

This mining adventure quickly goes wonky however when Jimmy finds a strange old man in a cave. Apparently he used to be the old sheriff before Jimmy rolled into town, and had gotten stuck down the mines while chasing a bandit.

[OLD SHERIFF, ACCUSATORY] Where did you get Wednesday?

[JIMMY] Who—uh, it’s Friday right now. I—I don’t think you—

[OLD SHERIFF] No, I’m not talking about the day, I’m talking about that hat on your head! Where did you get Wednesday?

[JIMMY] No—this is the Sheriffs hat. Take a look, this is the Sheriffs hat, what do you mean?

[OLD SHERIFF] You think I don’t know that, I am the Sheriff!

[JIMMY] …What?

[NARRATOR] This is a prime opportunity to learn how the old sheriff earned his respect - being very short doesn't exactly inspire his fellow rulers to respect him. The Old sheriff agrees on the condition he can see the town again.

Jimmy shows him the outside and learns that apparently before Jimmy got there the town was called Midweek, because of Wednesday the hat of course.

[OLD SHERIFF] I’d be like, “Good morning how you doin’”, I’d tip Wednesday, and they’d say, “Is it midweek?” and I’d say “Everyday is midweek, ‘specially in this town!”

[JIMMY STARTS TO LAUGH]

[OLD SHERIFF] And they would absolutely love it, they’d chant my name, I’d catch them criminals and I’d throw ‘em behind bars!

[NARRATOR] The tall Joel statue does scare the old sheriff but he’s a man of his word, so he takes Jimmy back to the mines and teaches him the meaning of Respect.

Jimmy takes the old sheriff to the saloon and gets a small pep talk before he goes to show his friends and fellow rulers what he’s learnt from the newest - oldest? - Tumble Town resident.

[JIMMY] Okay.

[OLD SHERIFF] And you tip Wednesday and you say, good morning ma’am, good morning sir, good morning they, good morning them, you say good morning to everythin’, you hear me?

[NARRATOR] Jimmy saddles up his horse and rides through the Golden empire to get to the Greatbridge where he meets Gem, Sausage and Fwhip.

The three of them start teasing him over his height - the old sheriff's lessons don’t seem to work no matter how he tries! It’s really hammered home when Gem, one of his only allies that truly respected him, is given Sausages sword and kills him…

He is fed up with this disrespect!

Lizzie

After some reflection, Lizzie and the Critter Council decide to ally with fWhip, after multiple months. But the transport connections between those two empires is quite unsatisfactory… But no worries! Mayor Lizzie will bless anyone departing or arriving Critter City with a much more beautiful tram station and see! There is already some traffic!

[LIZZIE] What is the meaning of this?

[LIZZIE, READING] Dear Mayor of Animalia, come to the Drip Tavern to continue the discussion we had in Tumble Town. Burn this note before you arrive. fWhip of Gobland.

[NARRATOR] After some problems involving 12 gunpowder, three people, and explosives, Lizzie and Fwhip decide to make their own gunpowder farm. They each have their own task, fWhip’s got the beacon and Lizzie’s got the cats.

[FWHIP] Oh no, Lizzie… What efficiency do you have on your tool?

[LIZZIE, OVERLAPPING] I don’t have efficiency 5.

[LIZZIE] Wait, don’t look at me, I’m embarrassed! I’ll be right back!

[NARRATOR] After digging, it’s building time, and the creeper farm is officially done; but creepers are not the only thing falling.

Deciding they’ll meet back in one hour, Lizzie takes advantage of the beacon to finally finish her ores bundle. She digs one massive hole underneath Stratos to find her diamond ores. After multiple bumps along the way, she finds it.

[LIZZIE] Look at this stuff, isn’t it neat, wouldn’t you say my collections complete?

[NARRATOR] Back to the creeper farm and it’s rewarding! Fwhip and Lizzie decide to expand the storage but there is something odd lurking around.

[FWHIP] Can you see that?

[LIZZIE] What is—What is that?

[FWHIP] What is… in there?

[LIZZIE] Oh! Oh my gosh I saw something in there!

Outro

And with that, join us next week for more chaos and shenanigans! Thank you for watching, liking, and subscribing, and thanks to everyone helping with the project, check them all out below!

[necarion]

Different useful trick, this time for developing that sense of intuition (because even when you try to do things the same, they come out differently). One of the problems people have is that they're scared to add spices to things because they don't know how it's going to turn out. Or you can't tell if something is salted enough or whatever.

So if you have something that has a sauce or stew consistency (pasta, meat sauces, soup, beans), take a tablespoon or two aside and add some seasonings to it. Give it a tiny little pinch of salt or some ground pepper or some cinnamon or whatever, and then try it. You'll usually overdo whatever it is (because it's hard to season 2 tbsp), but it'll give you a sense of whether that's the direction you want to go.

Sometimes I'll wonder whether something is salted sufficiently, so I'll try that, using like 10 grains of salt in the spoon. And if it tastes better, I know that I need to salt more and so I add some to the liquid and try again. And if it tastes oh-my-god-salty I know I need to try something else.

This technique also allows you to pick a spice and see what happens without wrecking an entire dish! If it tastes better when you did it, write it down and try it again later. If it tastes worse, well you can try something different next time. "The food tastes slightly sub-optimal" is a very graceful failure mode.

...

Now that the basic advice is done, I have some extra thoughts that may be helpful:

One thing cooking has differently from baking is that you really can iterate on most flavor profiles. Short of accidentally dumping half a bottle of the spice into the soup, it's actually pretty hard to truly fuck up a flavor profile if you're using spices on the list.

Now, sometimes you want it to taste exactly like mom does it, and the measurement technique is awesome for that. (My grandma has a story about repeatedly failing to make her grandma's pie crust, because "1 tbsp of lard" turned out to mean "use a tablespoon to scoop up a cup of lard").

Here are a couple of big seasoning mistakes to look out for:

The most common one (everybody does it sometimes) is oversalting. This is where "add a bit of soup to the spoon and salt it a tiny bit" is useful, because it tells you if you're going in the right direction or not. There are also some tricks to helping with something that tastes oversalted (particularly: add starch, sugar, or acid), or putting it on rice/bread/pasta. But the main thing is that if you think you're close, go slowly. Also, if you salt on the order of 0.8% of the total weight of the food (be careful about adding things that are already salted), you're going to come out pretty damn close.

Adding too much spicy. Chili and especially cayenne cook in to foods. Unless you want the food to be insanely hot, don't add cayenne to taste early in the cooking process, because it will be much, much hotter by the end. I can't say much more here other than "learn what your limits are"

...

Lastly: consider adding ground coriander seed to whatever it was that you made. Basically doesn't matter what the recipe is, coriander helps a bit like salt does. It's also super hard to overdo. In a "small batch" or something, I'll add a couple vigorous shakes of coriander. In a large batch, I might add as much as a tsp or two. I have no idea what coriander tastes like, other than it makes the rest of the food taste better. This isn't really an "intuition" thing. Just put it in your toolkit alongside salt and black pepper, if the thing doesn't taste right. I'm actually really serious when I say it's really hard to overdo, so if the amount of coriander is around the same as how much of the others spices you used, it's going to be fine.

I realize this sounds like the thing you're complaining of above, but it really is kind of distinct. This isn't a "hmm, to make this taste more Hunan, I need to add some five spice and some cumin, and then a dash of chili powder." You don't actually have to know anything about the flavor profiles, or what spices pair with what foods. It's "this doesn't taste right. Let me add some coriander and see if that fixes it".

Things I have successfully used ground coriander in: Indian food, Chinese food, Italian food, savory bread, sweet bread, hot chocolate, cheesecake, crackers with goat cheese and blueberries, fish, vegetable sauce. Sometimes it doesn't help, but it almost never makes things worse.

I have a friend who, like me, does not have “heart feels” when cooking. We need measurements. We need exact replicable steps. Cooking should be more like baking where if I follow instructions precisely I’ll have the same meal each time.

So when he asked his mom for her recipes he was vexed to find that she’d say one thing but use a lot more or less than the spice she’d said. Her approximated recipes were much less vibrant that the real food she made.

His solution: he weighed her spices before and after the meal while noting all the steps she took. Finally. A recipe that was true.

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #118

(taken march 2nd; this is the last old survey i've got to upload! sorry for the spam, haha)

Do you want a cat or a dog more? I actually do want another cat, but Mom's not for it, mostly because she knows our landlord won't be.

Ever seen a kinkajou in real life? No, but I think they're SO cute.

Have you ever been crowned king or queen at a school dance? Nah.

Do you know anyone whose gender is non-binary? Multiple people.

Ever called someone a slut? I know I have totally playfully, and maybe - but I hope not - when I was younger and didn't know better.

Have any embarrassing pictures on Facebook? OH FOR SURE, I'm just too mortified of myself to go through and delete shit lmao

What type of tree do you see most of where you live? Pine. They're literally everywhere.

Is your mom mentally stable? I mean, she has depression, but she's not like... unstable. Although calling her "stable" feels inaccurate, too.

What was the last kind of snake you saw? She's a ball python, a champagne morph specifically.

Do you think you’d make a good parent? No, and it's the primary reason I don't think I'll ever have kids.

What’s your least favorite flavor of candy? It varies between grape, cherry, or orange, depending.

What shaped you most in your life as a person? I think maybe loss, in various forms. OH, or my depression.

Do you call your partner “baby?” Very rarely.

Does the last person you spoke to have any siblings? Yeah: Rob, Bill, and Kelly.

Have you ever seen the last person you hugged naked? Yes.

Do you have any limits on who you drink/eat after? Yeah, I'll pretty much only ever eat or drink after Girt 'cuz I mean, he's my boyfriend that I regularly kiss and stuff so it doesn't really matter. I'll very rarely eat or drink after Mom; it generally has to be a pretty desperate situation.

What is something in your life that you feel hopeful about right now? Mine and Girt's relationship is in a really good spot right now. I mean it's rare we're not doing well, but certain things have progressed or been expressed where things are just super good right now, and I feel very secure in this relationship, like it really is going to last. As I've said ten billion times, I will never allow myself to be 100% convinced that my relationship is permanent EVER again, but things are just great right now. I'm also feeling positive about having started physical therapy for my legs, and I'm being serious about it. And lastly, I'm very pleased with how dedicated I'm being with job hunting, and feel confident I CAN find SOMETHING I can manage.

Do you think flirting is cheating? Uh, YES????????????

Last place you fell asleep other than a bed? My sister's couch.

How many wives or husbands do you want? I'm monogamous so one.

Do you trust anyone? I could count on a single hand how many people I trust.

Does your significant other boss you around a lot? Good fucking LUCK catching me in a relationship where my s/o tells me what to do.

[TW: DRUG OVERDOSE] Do you know anyone who has overdosed? A tragic amount of people, including myself, but I'm very, very lucky and grateful that it was unsuccessful.

Are you in love with someone right now? Very, very much.

Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? Not one that was even remotely logical, but nevertheless I had a case where I worried.

Are you expected to help fix Thanksgiving dinner? No.

Do you personally know anyone who is transgender? Yes.

Do you feel guilty? If yes, why so? .......... WHY IS THIS SIMPLE QUESTION SENDING ME INTO A SPIRAL LOLOLOL SKIPPING

Has someone you cared about moved recently? My younger sister, actually. I'm so fucking proud of her, she's renting her own place all on her own now.

Have you ever gave someone a hand/blow job? Received one? Yes to all.

Are you hungry? Yeah honestly; I absolutely have not been eating enough since I got the severe pre-diabetes news. I've actually lost quite a few pounds very quickly, definitely more than what could just be natural fluctuations for me. I'm not starving, but I had a very small dinner of just salad and barely had anything else today, so...

Does the place you work have music playing? What sort? N/A

Do you have a lot of cousins? What are their names? Way, way more than I even know the names of. Off the very top of my head, there's Robby, Audrey, Brenna, and... holy fucking shit I'm already blanking lmfao I barely know my extended family, I'ma just be real.

Could you willingly live on a vegan diet? No, I would absolutely starve because of how absurdly picky I am, and fast. I'd love to be a vegan, but it is entirely unrealistic for me.

Do you have a hard time admitting you’re wrong? No, honestly. That's generally rather easy for me.

Name five objects that you don’t have but would like right now? New car for Mom, a new house for us, a new phone, bras that actually fit me properly, and a ball head tripod.

When you have children, would you like twins? Absofuckinglutely not, I can almost guarantee you that I would selectively abort one. I cannot IMAGINE a world where I could raise two babies at once even REMOTELY adequately.

Do you know any twins? If so, what are they called? Yeah, there was a Tyler and Taylor in my school. I also know a dance mom who never stops popping out babies because she lets "God" decide when she's had enough that has twin girls, but I don't remember their names.

When was the last time you went to the dentist? Literally just a few days ago, for a final cleaning before I get my wisdom teeth extraction scheduled...

Are you fingernails or toenails painted? What color/s? No; I never paint either.

What do you think your parents are doing? Mom is in her bed right now, so either watching TV or asleep. Dad is probably asleep.

What do you think your siblings are doing? I'm sure Ashley's being a mom of three, haha. Maybe the kids are asleep now? Idk when their bedtime is, or when she calls it a night either. I have no idea what Nicole's doing, but prooobably home? Her work schedule is very diverse, though.

What do you think your significant other/crush is doing? I can see via b.net that he's playing Diablo III right now.

What was the last gift you received? Girt got me a real big stuffed bear for Valentine's, lol. It sits on the chair in the corner of the room that's directly in my sight when I sit here at the desk.

When was the last time you saw rain? Literally today. This morning it was basically a monsoon, lol. The weather around here has been BONKERS, like it was 80 for a couple days not even a week ago, and now as we enter March, we're hearing that this is predicted to be the coldest March in NC history.

Would you rather wear a bracelet or a necklace? Necklace. I'd actually really like a necklace that I can always wear... but any I've ever had irritated my skin.

What season were you born in? Winter.

What is your favorite shade of green? I like seafoam green. Mossy green is great, too.

What is your favorite shade of blue? Sky blue, I think. Turquoise is also pretty, though.

Do you believe it's ever ok to cheat on a test? No. You're not doing yourself any favors if you don't ACTUALLY have that knowledge internalized.

What was the best part of your day today (or yesterday)? I think I did really well at PT today; I definitely pushed myself further than I felt like I was able. I was also very, very happy to see I'd lost weight. Girt and I had a good conversation earlier that made me feel very valued.

What year did you join Facebook? Apparently 2010.

What was the first color you ever dyed your hair? Uhhhh... maybe black, if we're talkin' full-head?

Who has hurt you the most? Jason.

When’s the last time you experienced a panic attack? Over what? Last week or whatever when I went to the gynecologist for the first time. I'm grateful they were patient with me, even with how uncooperative I was.

Have you ever used anything unusual to masturbate with before? If so, what? No, that's not really something I do without weird things anyway, it just doesn't do very much for me when it's Just Me lmao

Have you ever peed in the water at the beach? Uh no, that is a public location and is honestly disgusting.

Have you ever scored a winning goal for a team you played for? Definitely not that I remember; I feel like I would remember that.

Have you ever participated in LARPing? No, that would be WAY too awkward for me. I'm glad other people can have fun with it, but I would literally cry from discomfort and humiliation even if no one was judging me lmao.

Do you prefer “regular kissing” or French kissing? I mean that kinda depends on the mood, there are times where I don't want to go very far at all and others where I do.

Are you more likely to give a hickey to someone else or get one? Lately get lmfao even though for most of our relationship he didn't do those. I don't care if he does, so long it's not in an obnoxiously open spot. That did happen once (accidentally, to his credit) and my mom wanted to pass away because she noticed 😭

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Being Oikawa's Little Sister and Iwa's crush

😡 Oikawa Is Mean To You 😡

Oikawa 'the jerk' Toru featuring Seijoh x fem! Reader

Warnings: Swearing, Oikawa being mean

AN: This is an Anon request

You want to punch him Yn?

I have no problems fighting men 😒

Seriously tho, I think you've suffered enough being the baby sister of the infamous Toru Oikawa 🙌🏻

Did you guys hear that? The gates of heaven opening, the birds singing and the sun shining 🥰

Yeah me neither 🙃

Oh well, back to your life plight

Being the sister of Toru had its pros and cons

The cons vastly outweighing the pros but nevertheless

It's not like you could help who you are biologically related to YN so you just have to deal

You played many different rolls as Oikawa's sister including (but not limited to) bodyguard, warden, comforter, and PR Manager

Seriously the amount of times you had to tell his fan girls he already left for the day just so he could escape the bathroom alive 🙄

YN's out here doing God's work

The one good thing is that your work never went unnoticed 🥰

Well by Toru it did but we aren't talking about him rn

Because Iwaizumi Hajime, 18, Wing-spiker/Seijoh Ace has our FULL attention 😏

This sweet angel istg-

He is so smitten with you YN and yet you haven't noticed

Or maybe it's because you never through you'd grab the attention of THE Iwaizumi

Probably too busy running errands for Oikawa 😒

Anyways, Iwa has had a crush on you for literal years

Like since him and Oiks became besties!

You use to follow them, trying to play volleyball

Iwa would often ignore you, too worried he'd mess up and say something stupid ☹️

But Oikawa (always saying something stupid) told you to just bug off

The amount of times you told your mom and Toru got in trouble 🤣

If that didn't solidify Iwa's feelings for you, I don't know what did

Of course, Oikawa knew of Iwa's crush on you 🙄

Mans used it at every turn to save his ass

"Ah ah Iwa-chan, would YN-chan want you to cause her brother more grief?"- Oikawa would say just as Iwa was about to pelt him with a volleyball

Makki, Mattsun, Kunimi, Yahaba, Kyotani, Watari and Kindaichi 👉🏻 I'm sure YN will forgive Iwa 😐

Oikawa 👉🏻😱 THE SLANDER

Iwaizumi 👉🏻 🧑🏻💥 🏐

Everything was going right in the world, until it wasn't 🙃

Because that's what we do here

It was a particularly rough day, Seijoh had just lost to Shiratorizawa 👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻 and everyone was in a mood

Especially Oikawa

Please when Oikawa is in a mood, stay clear 😒

Unfortunately you are too much of a sweet angel to do this

Thinking you can cheer the boys up during the practice is what we do 🥰

You arrived in the gym, seeing the boys setting up

Makki and Mattsun greet you in their normal way, probably with head pats 😍

Kyotani waves at you and you wave back

Kunimi and you text constantly so no need for a physical exchange of words YN ✋🏻

You see Iwaizumi and smile at him, watching him blush and return a goofy smile in return 🥺

Please he's got it SO bad for our bby YN

Then you lay eyes on the demonic creature that is your brother

He's practically boiling with rage at this point, probably muttering about how much he hates Ushijima

"If you would have just come to Shiratorizawa... blah blah blah" he says repeatedly

"Hey bro, what's up-" you say coming up next to him

Toru looks at you then looks away, completely ignoring you

RUDE

But we will forgive him, so you try again...

"Toru, hey I came to help you guys today. What would you like me to do?" You said, perky and happy, trying to change the mood from glum to fun

Toru ignores you yet again, as you figure out your next course of action

At this point all of Seijoh is watching, waiting to see what's gonna happen

"Come on Toru-" "YN WILL UOU PLEASE JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!"

You snap back at your brother's shouting, eyes widening

"CANT YOU SEE NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE PARADING AROUND THE GYM YN! CANT YOU GET THAT THROUGH YOUR TINY HEAD OR IS YOUR BRAIN TO STUPOD TO COMPREHEND THAT WE DONT WANT YOU HERE!"- Toru yells, heaving as you back away

"ENOUGH"- Iwaizumi shouts, running towards you and Toru

Your eyes burn with tears as you back up, trying not to let the damn break

"YN hey-" Makki says as him and Mattsun approach

You and Toru look at each other, tears now spilling down your eyes

The realization of his words hit him

"YN, I'm sorry- I-"

"TORU OIKAWA, FUCK YOU"- you scream as you turn, running out of the gym

Kyotani gets up, running after you with Yahaba and Watari

Toru watches as the rest of the gym falls silent

Iwaizumi is PISSED

Like seriously PISSED

Like it's death con level P I S S E D

He's balling his fists up, steam coming off of him

It's so bad that Makki and Mattsun back up

"Kunimi, Kindaichi you guys should probably leave-" Mattsun says as Kunimi and Kindaichi run 🏃‍♂️ towards the gym doors

"Iwa, I know I fucked up ok, I- I'll go and apologize right now"- Toru says as Iwaizumi reaches for a ball, gripping it hard

"Oikawa you better pray Kyotani can talk her down or I swear to GOD you won't be leaving this gym ALIVE"- Iwaizumi growls

Outside of the gym, you sink to the floor, crying as the words run through your head

You and Toru had fought may times but never had it hurt this bad

He had said many mean things to you in the past but saying those things and in front of the whole team, how embarrassing 🥺

You felt someone slide down besides you as you looked to see Kyotani and Yahaba along with Watari surrounding you

"I'm not going to forgive him" you said, wiping your tears

"Nah we don't expect you too"- Yahaba said

"We were just checking on you kid"- Kyotani said as you smile a little, you're friends making your situation a little lighter

"Besides Iwaizumi has probably already murdered him and Makki and Mattsun are trying to hide the body" Watari added, making you belt out a laugh 🤣

"Come back with us, don't let him get to you" Kyotani says as you nod and stand up

You walk back into the gym and see Kunimi and Kindaichi waiting outside the doors, peeking in 👀

"What's wrong?" You said, coming to see

"Iwaizumi is so pissed off YN, seriously I've never seen him so mad"- Kindaichi said

"Yeah, pretty sure Makki and Mattsun are afraid to move because it might set him off"- Kunimi

Inside you see Oikawa on his knees, Iwaizumi standing with a volleyball at the ready, anger radiating off him

"Please Iwa-chan, I didn't mean to hurt YN! Please I know you like them and I really messed up!"- Oikawa pleaded

You stopped, walking into the gym at hearing that Iwaizumi liked you

"Oikawa!! I should kill you for hurting them! You knew how I felt and seeing them cry" Iwaizumi said, his face heating more

You walked up behind Iwaizumi and stopped

"Y-You like me Hajime?" You say, eyes wide and a smile sneaking on your face

"I-uh I- uh" Iwaizumi says, tone instantly shifting from rage to nerves

"Haji" you say, coming closer to him

"YN I LIKE YOU SO MUCH! IVE LIKED YOU SINCE WE WERE KIDS. THE FIRST TIME I EVER SAY UOU I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING EVER"- Iwaizumi said, word vomiting his confession

You stare back at him, smiling before you lean in and kiss his lips lightly

Iwaizumi looks at you and pulls you into a hug, swinging you around the gym

"I like you to Haji" you say before he kisses you again

The team watches in silent, all gushing at how happy you two are 🥺

Until Oikawa ruins it 😐

"This has all gone according to plan" Oikawa said, standing up and dusting himself off

Everyone just looks at him, confused 🤨

"Shut up Oikawa you didn't plan any of this"- Makki says

"Yeah you are just lucky it worked out"- Mattsun added

Iwaizumi is now growling at Toru who jumps back and screams a little 😅

You approach your brother glaring as he lowers his head in shame

"I'm sorry Yn, will you please forgive me" he says

You look at him, then to Hajime who nodds at you

"I'll forgive you on one condition" you say

"Anything yn"

"I get to hit you with a volleyball"- you say, smirking

Oikawa looks up and smiles

"Yeha ok, I'll take that" he says, probably thinking you can't throw with shit

But it's a good thing you've been studying the Iwaizumi Hajime technique all these years yn 🙃

The ball pelts Oikawa right in the back of the head, sending him flying forward as he starts to whine

"YN CHANNNNN" he cries as everyone laughs

"Nice arm sweetheart" Iwaizumi says, skipping your cheek as you smile back at him 🥰

[skybluewritings]

Christmas wishes part 2 fake dating au, Andrew garfield!peter parker x fem!reader

word count: 1.5k

warnings: swearing, suggestive themes

note: Hiya everybody here's the next part hope you all enjoy and had a happy holidays!

Peter yanked the suitcase up the steps of her porch like it weighed nothing. (Name) had struggled to even pull it with the amount of clothes she'd packed.

"Thanks for coming to see me at the airport. I could've come back on my own y'know." She said, ringing the doorbell.

"I know that but I missed the hell out of you and wanted to see you as soon as I could." Peter admitted ruffling her hair.

"No don't do that, I spent ages trying to get it right this morning." She groaned, swatting his hand away.

"My aplogies your majesty." He said feigning sympathy.

"We can't all just roll out of bed like you do." She rolled her eyes at him. "It's good to be home." She bumped peter with her shoulder.

He bumped her back. "It's good to have you back."

They smiled softly at eachother, another one of the thousands of little moments they always had.

The door flung open shattering the moment. "Darling you're home!" Her mom cheered.

"Hey mom." She beamed, kissing her mother on the cheek.

"And what do we have here?" Her mom. gasped, gawking at Peter standing behind (Name).

"Hello ma'am." He greeted.

"You get more handsome every time I see you." The older woman complimented.

"Thank you." He chuckled rubbing the back of his neck.

"What a shame, if you weren't taken by my daughter I'd have you all to myself."

"Mom!" (Name) stammered.

"Sorry darling, not my fault you have such a handsome boyfriend." Her mom tittered.

"We're not dating!" Both her and Peter exclaimed, equally flustered.

She couldnt even look at Peter or he would read everything on her face.

"Shit." Her mother randomly swore.

"What is it mom?" She asked catiously.

"I told the whole family you had a boyfriend and that you'd bring him to your grandparents annual christmas retreat this weekend."

"Oh mom please tell me you're kidding?" She sighed.

"No I'm afraid not. You're grandmother will be disappointed. She's getting on, she always says that she wants to see you settled."

"I'm only 21!"

"Yes, however you've never had a boyfriend and it made her so happy to think you finally had one."

"She'll have to be disappointed I guess." (Name) shrugged. "Peter will you help me take my suitcase upstairs."

Peter wordlessly nodded grabbing her suitcase and following her to her room, leaving her mother bewildered.

(Name) shut the bedroom door behind them. "Ok so here's the thing-

"(Name), no. I already know what you're going to say." Peter groaned cutting her off.

"Please peter." She begged clasping her palms together.

"No."

"Please."

"No."

"Please."

"No."

"Please will you pretend to be my boyfriend for like two days?" She quickly asked him.

"I can't think of anything worse." He responded.

"You could try to seem less disgusted!" She exclaimed, folding her arms across her chest.

"Woah woah hold on I never said that the idea of dating you specifically disgusted me." He defended waving his hands at her.

"You didn't seem so disgusted by me that one time we were in here?" She smirked, referring to an incident they could only now lightly poke fun at.

"I hate when you bring that up." He admitted dark pink spreading across his cheeks.

....................................................................

The incident had occurred the first time he'd ever hungout in her room.

The summer was long and hot. They were both broke college students with little money between them, leaving them with limited ways to pass the time. It was even more muggy and humid than that first day she'd taken the mixing bowl over.

They lay on her bed, the small fan doing little to cool their scolding skin.

"I can actually hear the sound of my brain frying." She complained, wiping her clammy forehead.

"I doubt there's anything up there to fry." Peter bitterly remarked.

"Nice to know you kept your wonderful sense of humour during these hard times." She scoffed, giving him a dirty look.

The heat had put them in a foul mood. They had been friends for a couple weeks and whilst they had been hanging out everyday, they still sometimes relentlessly annoyed one another.

"Sorry." He said, massaging his temples. "I'm just hot and bored."

"It's okay. I'm sorry too." She apologised, turning on her side to look at Peter. "I wish we had more money to do something fun."

He turned his neck to look at her. "I doubt it would be fun walking around in this heat."

"Is there anything fun we could do without leaving this bed?" She asked him.

"We could makeout?" He snorted.

Her mouth felt dry. She couldn't tell if it was the heat or Peter's suggestion. "What the-you're not seriously suggesting that you and me-me and you."

His brown eyes widened. "Oh my god yeah obviously not. Shit you don't actually think I meant that do you?" He stammered. It was hilarious how fast he could go from being so bold to being so shy.

"Okay good." She breathed, the only sound in her ears the rushing of her pulse.

A tense silence clouded the room mingling with the sticky july heat. She couldn't deny that she found him physically attractive. Despite having a tendency to be insufferable he had an appealing face. And an even more appealing body.

It had been ages since she'd slept with anyone, let alone been kissed. If she kissed him it could be a way to let off some steam.

"I mean we could try..." She mumbled.

"If it was only once..." He murmured.

It seemed they were both thinking out loud.

He gnawed at his bottom lip. "If we do this I just want to make it clear I don't want a relationship or anything from you."

She propped herself up on her arm. "Yeah agreed, it's just- curiosity."

He held out his pinky finger. "To no feelings." He joked.

She wrapped her pinky around his. "To no feelings." She repeated.

"Ok how am I meant to start this?" He swallowed rolling onto his side.

"You could be less awkward for one, it's kind of a mood killer." She huffed.

"Oh well sorry what do you suggest I do?" He snapped, not very sorry at all.

"Jesus I'll do it myself then." She grabbed his arm and moved it to her waist. "You could start by pulling me against you."

He raised a brow at her and pulled her flush against his chest, her legs tangled with his. "Then what?"

Her mind was blanking over with his eyes gazing into hers. "Th-then you" She cleared her throat. "Then you cup my face." He smirked at her nervousness.

They were so close she could feel his pounding heart beat against her palms that were resting on his chest.

He bought up a large hand to caress her jaw. "Then what?"

His thumb ran along her parted lips. "And then you kiss me." She whispered.

They begun to lean in, heads tilting to the side. His lips were half an inch from being firmly pressing against hers, they barely brushed hers when her phone started ringing.

They moved apart from eachother bursting out laughing erasing any awkwardness.

"So much for that then." She chuckled. "To never trying to cross the lines of friendship again?" She offered her pinky finger to him.

He wrapped his pinky around hers. "Agreed." He grinned.

.........................................................................

They were settled sitting cross legged on her bed.

"You'll have a good time I promise, the food's always incredible plus it's in the hamptons." She told him.

"Hurray a whole weekend with snobby rich people." Peter sarcastically cheered.

"Which is exactly why I want you to come with me, to stop me from going insane."

"Fine I'll go."

She exhaled heavily. "Yes! Amazing, thank you so much."

"The things that happen when I hangout with you." He commented.

"You're seriously the best."

"Oh yeah I already knew that."

She playfully slapped his arm. "Anyone ever told you how modest you are?"

"Only all the time." He joked.

"Seriously Peter thank you. I know I don't say it enough, but I really appreciate you." She said, she took his hand in hers. He weaved his fingers through hers.

"I appreciate you too." He confessed, the corner of his lip quirking up. "I've never said this to you before but..."

Her eyes widened, was he about to tell her that he-

"You're the closest and most genuine friend I've ever had. I've never had someone understand me like you do. I'm so grateful for you."

Her vision clouded over at the sweetness of what he'd said.

She burried her face in her hand that was free. "Fuck Peter you can't say that shit to me, you have no idea what it does to me." She mumbled.

"Damn you're actually embarrassed?" He snickered.

"Shut up." She groaned.

There was that word again, 'Friend'. A reminder of her role to him in a land she could never leave. And with him pretending to be her boyfriend it was going to be hard to remember her place.

tags @prettiestmark @brutal-in-here @mell-bell

[citizensofeggtonarchived]

"Yeah, I guess you aren't getting an unbiased view from the way I'm talking about my world." Poppy could only offer her own experiences from what she went through in her world, though it didn't paint it in a very good view. "I will admit there are some who truly try to make the standard of living for opossum's better, though it's hard to turn gears when the royal's don't bother with folks like us too much and even the few that do tend to get a bunch of complaints for it." That was about all she could think about in terms of other's trying to help opossum's as it was a slim group. "Kinda wished I kept track of that better so I could give you names, though I never did like getting my hopes up." That sounded bleak saying it out loud, though that was in the past.

"Say, if you happen to visit Trace and come across a guy that calls himself Trace's Star you think you can give him a good scare, maybe smack him around a bit too. I never got the chance seeing as the dead beat bolted as soon as he found out I was pregnant." Poppy was sure this could be seen as petty, though she believed he deserved to be roughed up a bit for that stunt. "It's cool if you don't want to, just asking if you happen to stop by there." The opossum didn't expect Blaze to do anything let alone go out of her way for it, though a gal can dream.

"Hey, don't go trying to put me in the grave early. You can't expect an old lady like me to keep up with a youngster," Poppy said, chuckling a little bit at her own joke, even if she could be considered old by opossum standards. "I think I'll start off on my own, kinda get a good gauge for my limits, ya know? I'll make sure to remember your friend in case I ever want to step it up." The opossum was sure Blaze's friend was nice and would take it easy on her, though best to start off solo at first. "Maybe you could even join me if you're ever free." She wasn't sure how often the princess was busy, though hoped that she did get some free time to herself every now and then.

"Oh, geez, I've only dreamed about getting a tutor for Lily." Poppy had considered it in the past, though always being short on cash made that option hard, not to mention how often she had to move. "Even if it ends up for being a little bit I have a feeling she'll end up learning a lot of stuff in a short amount of time." The opossum had seen Lily pick things up rather easily and the few schools she was in the teachers would mention how she always got A's right before accusing her of cheating much to her annoyance. "I don't think I can ever thank you enough for all this." She was starting to feel like a hassle by this point, though would keep that thought to herself.

"I can't say I like the idea very much either and I'm sure Lily wouldn't much care for the thought as well. I'll just have to do my best to make sure I leave a good impression on your mom or at the very least hope she can put up with a stubborn opossum for seven years." Poppy was sure seven years to a deity was nothing compared to having an immortal life. "Oh, I'm not gonna come up with any sort of speech or plan for talking to your mom. If there's one thing I'm sure mortals and deity's share in common is that they simply want the truth. I'm just gonna go in, give my reasons for wanting to stay here, and leave it at that." Could that be too straight forward for a Goddess? Maybe, though that was the only way she knew.

"Right, gotta make sure the damage on her eye isn't too bad." Poppy was hopeful it wasn't too bad, though could only wait to hear from a professional. "I know I already said this, though thank you. I'm sure your mom is proud of the woman and the lead you've become."

She smiled at the notion of her mother showing up in some grand display. But knew it was not her way to intervene in mortal affairs in any direct fashion. She preferred to be distant, aloof, and only intercede when she absolutely had to. Plus she doubted her mother could leave Sol without dire consequences. So ingrained was she into Sol that her leaving would have catastrophic side effects. Though none of that was something she was willing to speak on, especially not to someone she had only just met.

" I doubt Mother would trouble herself with the affairs of other realms. She is more concerned with this world, and keeping it safe from harm... her interactions are as a gentle guiding hand of a loving mother. She keeps her interactions minimal or has been known to disguise herself rather then being to overt "

She tried to explain but it wasn't an easy explanation. Without going into deep detail but perhaps it was enough to satisfy the Opossum. She would have to check into Poppys world eventually, she figured it would be best to do so undercover.

" I think if It best if i do go to your world, i do so carefully. Perhaps i'll speak with and meet the citizenry before engaging with these nobles. If what you speak about how they treat your kind is true, i should like to get a broad view of those who rule it first... it may not be worth my time to engage them at all. Nor is it my place to interfere... still that is for later, for now let us focus on the here and now shall we "

She said with a warmer smile, not one to dwell on things she couldn't yet predict or change. Her focus on Poppy and her excitement at trying out to be a Royal Guard. She knew it might be much harder for her then she realized. But something told her Poppy would give it 110%, and well she'd be happy to help in what ways she could. her fingers covering her lips as she gave a soft chuckle of amusement.

" Well if you'd like i could ask Miss Tangle to give you a hand, in her own world she's a young spirited hero. Or desires to be... I hear she's always training her body, and mind. I imagine she would love company in her morning routine "

School was important, and blaze wouldn't let Poppy's little girl go long without some form of education. She was sure Gardon could fill in as a makeshift teacher till they got an answer from Blaze's mother. She would be remiss to allow such a bright child's future to go down the drain because of this incident. Plus she would lie if she didn't already feel a little attached to her. She was bad about that, she always had a soft spot for children.

" Do not worry Poppy... i'll see young Lilly gets a tutor until, such time that mother makes a decision. I wouldn't want to see her potential squandered... She seems to be a bright young girl with a brighter future i think. "

Talk about a bombshell she wasn't ready to hear, only 30 years? it seems such a short time to live. How she despised her own immortality, to live forever yet watch others perish around her. It never got easier.

" I will find another solution Poppy... i admire your courage, but i do not desire to make Lilly live through that. But should there be no other options... i shall consider your request. "

She disliked the idea itself she would find another way should it come to it.

" One moment Poppy... I will do what i can to insure you and Lilly can find a home here. But much of this will be up to you to convince mother of your plight and need to remain. You should consider carefully what you will say to her... your chances to stay may hinge on it "

She placed a hand on the others shoulder and offered her as warm a smile as she could muster considering the conversation. If she could make the twos short lives better, Blaze would find a way to do so.

" Let's head back... and i'll see the Royal Physician is sent to check on Lillys Eye... and see what we can do for her. "

[stopbeingrude]

Hi guys. Happy Gruvia/ Greige day. I wish all of you wonderful time.

That's gonna be the first one shot , i have ever published here, feedback is welcome. I hope It's not that bad and you'll somehow like it lmao.

,,I think I would rather have a plushie as a Christmas gift…., but I guess I shouldn't be too picky."

-Dad? - called 6-year-old Greige, on one December afternoon, when both him and his father were decorating a christmas-tree in the living room . December 24th was slowly approaching. It was Greige's favorite time of the year , because he was able to spend Christmas with all of his family, including all of his uncles , aunts and friends. Not forgetting about grandpa Makarov . Even Uncle Gildards would show up, bringing something for the kids. -I was wondering what would happen if Santa's reindeer suddenly wanted to pee while flying?- asked seriously little boy. No one wanted to tell him that. When he asked big bro Romeo , he just started laughing and then he called him silly. "How could he do that?" -thought heartbroken Greige after. -Heh , where did that come from? ... you know ... they'd have to stop somewhere by, right? Daddy doesn't know much about it- said Gray, trying to keep himself from laughing. He couldn't laugh, he knew it would offend his little angel. Their son hated when someone made fun of him . After all, he was already a big boy, and everyone knows that such must be taken seriously. - So maybe Mommy knows? I will go and ask her,- said the little boy, putting down Christmas decorations . Speaking of mom, he had recently noticed his mother's strange behavior. She had been getting tired very easily lately, she often took naps. He also noticed that she spent an enormous amount of time sewing ,mostly clothing. Well.. he was aware of his mom's hobby, but usually it was limited to sewing plushies, sometimes socks or fixing their clothes. - You know, I don't think mommy knows more than me - said Gray after hanging the last Christmas-ball. - Besides, you know that mommy is sleeping now, right? She hasn't been feeling well lately, so she mustn't be disturbed. Something was off, even Daddy acts differently- thought little Fullbuster Now, that got the boy worried. - Is something wrong with Mommy? - asked slowly Greige He loved Mommy and Daddy most in the world and the very thought of them suffering hurt him deeply. "No, I won't start crying…Boys my age don't do that..." He had often been told that he should stop being such a crybaby (mostly by Yajeh or Nasha . Shutora would never. She was always trying her best to cheer him up,while reminding her twin and little Dragneel that if they won't stop with this stupid teasing, she would make sure both of them would regret it later). Unfortunately Greige could not help it. Whenever someone was hurt or something went wrong, he would usually cry. Turns out he inherited his mom's sensitivity... "Mommy…..something was definitely wrong with her.." The thought of something happening to his dear Mom filled him with great terror once again. He started shaking What if she's ill, or even worse..she's gonna….. "No , no , that's not possible..." - he shook his little head full of dark , curly hair. - I'm overreacting, just like Yajeh told me - No, no.. don't worry, Greige, Mommy's fine, it's nothing serious,"-Gray said quickly, trying his best to calm his son down, giving him a hug and then kissing him on forehead He knew exactly what was going on with his beloved, in fact, when an excited Juvia came back home one evening and informed him of the pregnancy, he was overjoyed. Soon he will be holding his son or daughter in his arms. Then it hit him. The baby might turn out to be a girl, and Gray had no idea how to take care of girls...Dear God….Ok ,ok.. he still has plenty of time to learn. He can always ask Gajeel about it..yes Gajeel or Alzack...even Elfman ( he would never ask Natsu, even if he's life depended on it, that would be too humiliating for him). Wait...it wasn't his top priority right now. After all, he needs to inform his son about the news first. Neither of them was quite sure how to do it. They remembered very well the situation from a few months ago when the Redfox twins got into an argument. Horrified, Greige stated that being an only child is not that bad, since having siblings meant constant war. Although being honest , Greige never

directly told them that he hates the idea of having a sibling . Considering how much time he spent with Nasha and Elfman and Ever's daughter Ember, or year-old Reiki Fernandes, it would seem that he's perfect for the big brother role. Besides, they can't hide it forever, sooner or later he would notice Juvia's belly. However, the biggest concern for Fullbuster was the fact that such news could lead to a longer conversation, which again could lead to uncomfortable questions that Gray was not ready to answer. He is not going to tell his son about the birds and the bees. No, no, hell no… None of them are ready for this! "Come on Gray, what's wrong with you, you just have to tell him. You've been in worse situations….after all, you've fought with all sorts of criminals, weirdos and monsters ,compared to what you've been through, it's nothing''- thought the ice mage But how to start such a conversation? How about …. -Hey Greige, have you written a letter to Santa yet? "Yes, just ask him what he wants for Christmas and make a few innocent suggestions." -Oh no i didn't, thank you for reminding me Dad. - And tell Daddy, what would you like to ask Santa for? The boy was silent for a moment, most likely to think about the answer, but after a while he called out in a loud voice. -I'D LIKE TO ASK HIM FOR PEACE IN THE WORLD AND FOR EVERY POOR PERSON TO GET A BETTER LIFE AND FOR EVERYONE TO BE HAPPY!..... It would also be nice to get a new plushie……but it's not as important. Do you think Santa can do that?-he asked hopefully Gray stood there for a moment, stunned. His baby was truly an angel...wishing happiness upon the entire world, it nearly made him tear up…. but no... he needed to explain to his son that he should wish for something more....... attainable. -Ooh... really..that's....very nice of you, but...I think that such a wish...yym...takes a bit of time and Santa w-won't be able to do it…., why don't you ask him for….. for example a toy like a teddy bear, figurines....or new books or something else...I don't know.......sibling?... Greige looked at him, like he had just proposed to him to take a walk on the rooftop. Where did that come from? What is dad talking about? S-sibling...?? -Sibling? You mean like a little brother or sister? A baby?- asked the little boy loudly. -Yes, that's exactly what I meant, but well you'll need to wait for a while, because it takes time for a baby to….be ready.- mumbled out Gray - So that's not really a Christmas present- stated boy still visibly shocked -...Well y-yes , but... -But didn't you say mommy has been feeling unwell lately?...If we had a baby, wouldn't it be tiring for her?....Besides, do you think we need a new baby? - asked seriously Greige Why would they need a baby? They were living happily in this house , just three of them. It's not like he dislikes babies , they're cute and all…..but it's just simply weird.. -Well... I wouldn't say it's necessary , but it would be nice to have one at home.. don't you think?....- asked his dad Maybe? -And don't worry about mommy, I am sure that she will be so happy with the new baby , it will make her feel better.- stated Gray , this time with a smile -Hello my darlings- Juvia's voice said suddenly They both turned their heads toward the bedroom's door, finding Juvia's tired but smiling face there. Greige quickly got up and ran toward his mother. -Mommy, are you feeling better? Do you need anything?- said the little boy, hugging her legs. Juvia kissed her son's cheek. -Hi sweetheart, Mommy is fine- she answered while taking a seat next to her precious Gray, giving him a quick kiss on the lips. -Did I hear you talking about babies?- Juvia asked, pretending to be surprised, while giving Gray a tiny smirk. - Daddy said it would be nice to have a baby and that it would make you feel better... - he began. - I don't think a baby is necessary, because it would be a little strange that there will be more of us in the house, but if you really wish for one ,then that's fine with me. -Really? Mommy's glad to hear that.-

replied a happy Juvia , giving her husband a big smile. Gray gave her the same smile, but just when he thought everything had been taken care of, there came the soft voice of his baby boy. - Mommy....Daddy...but you won't love the baby more than me, will you? - asked Greige, with his head lowered and tears in his dark eyes. Both Gray and Juvia stood there very surprised, neither of them had even thought of such a scenario. -Greige, what makes you think that?- asked older Fullbuster. -Sunshine, no...- Juvia hugged her son quickly- You mustn't think like that, we would never stop loving you. Remember darling, parents love all their children equally. - You know, its true that we'll have to spend a lot of time taking care of your brother or sister, but you have to remember that they won't be able to do anything on their own. You were like that when you were born too.- said Gray - I'm sorry. I won't do that again- said Greige seriously. -Do you think I offended the baby? I don't want the baby to think I don't want him or her,- said the terrified boy .What if the baby will always remember this and he will never be forgiven. - Don't worry, honey, I'm sure she won't mind,- said the water mage, stroking her belly. -She?-Gray thought. Turns out his wife wasn't telling him everything... -Wait a minute! -said suddenly Greige after a moment of silence -The baby will be in the tummy, just like Reiki was in Auntie Erza's , right? - Well baby is already there, but your right - answered Gray -Daddy? - Yes buddy ? - How did it get there? Shit. -Yyyy… Horrified, Gray turned his gaze to his wife, silently pleading for help. -You know what, angel? It's almost 8pm, I think it's time for you to take a bath, okay?- proposed Juvia, saving her husband from very uncomfortable talk. - Ok Mommy. Will you read me a bedtime story after we finish? - Of course They were already moving towards the bathroom when Juvia quickly turned towards her husband, gave him a kiss on the cheek and whispered : -You're welcome. Has Gray already mentioned how much he loved his wife?

Bonus!:

( ok I swear it was funnier in my head...Once again Happy Gruvia day !!!)

[monstersofsilence]

A... SMALL emergency ;u;

HEYA

uh

yeah

I am in a bit of a bind once more ;u;

this is more so regarding the internet bill. my mom, who I love and I know she's worried about me a lot of times, can be a bit overdramatic at times. and that time just happen to be involving the internet bill and she has asked me THREE TIMES and I have told her the answer where I wouldn't be able to pay it this week. I don't know what mind of answer she wants from me unu;;;;;

so

while I was at work, I thought about it and I decided to ask for anyone's help... again .w.;;;;

I only need to pay 70 dollars which isn't much, thankfully. possibly because me and my brother haven't downloaded much that would go over the gig limit

so

yeah

my paypal right here!

send however much you can. I don't mind whatever amount you send me

plus! as a bonus, and I know this isn't all too great but I was thinking on this, I will draw your character! pretty much like a mini commission c:

I'd feel bad if people send money and I couldn't give anything in return. I figured a small drawing gift would be something

be sure to tell me who you are if you do send some bit of money so I can draw something for you. oh! and, well, up to you whether through IM or through the paypal request thingy (I'm not used to this can you tell? ;w;), be sure to tell me what character of yours you want me to draw :)

and once more! you don't have to send me much! I just need to get around $70 for this week and that's that. please and thank you c: