#'In his defense he's highly attractive--'

[legativus]

Last night I met the man who has been pestering Vash to allow him to flirt with my angel.

I have told him in no uncertain terms that if he is foolish enough to continue this behavior when I am around, I will kill him.

Apparently this warning will not serve as much of a deterrent, so I look forward to tearing him apart limb by irreverent limb.

[blood-smiles]

𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔 ୭˚. ᵎᵎ

𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄! 𝐋𝐀𝐖𝐘𝐄𝐑 𝐗 𝐆𝐍! 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 TW MDNI . slight nsfw . yandere content . stalking . submissive yandere . creepy thoughts . highly unprofessional behavior from yandere . if reader is a simp and Alejandro is a bigger one .

You organized various assortments of products on shelves, placing each product perfectly, the name of the item fully on display,

While stepping back to admire your work you heard the squeaky shoes of a little kid, suddenly a small body crashed into your side and landed on the floor with a sickening crack,

“Jimmy! Jimmy! Oh my god! JIMMY!” The frantic voice of a woman called out, you instantly turned around, seeing the little boy wailing on the ground, his arm twisted in an uncomfortable direction,

You crouched down next to the child, trying to get him to calm down as you inspected his arm,

The same woman ran in your direction and pushed you off her child with a rough shove, tears welling up in her eyes,

“YOU! YOU DID THIS TO MY CHILD!” She shrieked, holding the kid in her arms,

“I-I ma’am! I swear it’s not that, your child was running and crashed into—“ 

“I DONT WANT TO HEAR IT! I AM GOING TO SUE YOU FOR THIS!” She screamed at you, her spit landing on your face as you stepped back,

A burning pain splattered all over your face, the woman’s purse making a harsh contact with your nose bridge, 

Small red droplets dirtied your white uniform polo shirt, 

She scooped up the injured boy in her arms and ran outside the store, yelling profanities and curses at you,

Suddenly a loud crash was heard as the woman kicked the large shelves, causing the tall shelves to come down on you, one by one alike to dominos,

You can’t remember what happened next, as you woke up in a hospital.

So. You have a huge law suit over your head now, a metaphorical guillotine over your neck, just waiting to be brought down on you, decapitating you and your clean record,

You stood in the waiting room, the fresh smell of floor cleaner wafting into your nostrils, helping you distract yourself momentarily,

“Mx (Y/N)?” A deep voice rings out, pulling you back into reality,

You glance up at the source of the voice, your (e/c) meeting with scarlet red hues, sharp eyes encased behind glasses,

You slowly got up, using your crutches to stabilize your footing, the man waited for you, his eyes inspecting your form as if calculating your every move, he stared at you for longer than needed but you ignored his eyes and kept acting as if nothing was happening,

He politely opened the door for you, giving you enough room to limp inside the office, after you successfully sat down, the man stood in front of his desk,

His ruby eyes were drilling into your own, as if memorizing every single detail of your iris, you looked into his eyes too, trying to seem confident,

If you looked close enough you could see the slight color difference under his eyes, you recognized that gaze— of exhaustion and pulling all nighters, but he did do a good job minimizing the eye bags!

You didn’t get to look at him properly but he was very well dressed.. the classic black vest along with black dress pants and a white dress shirt, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, showing off his forearms,

Pretty purple hair gathered at the back of his head in a ponytail, two tresses framed the sides of his face, bringing more attention to his sharp features, he was attractive.. Very attractive.

After another round of continuous staring the male finally cleared his throat, breaking the suffocating tension in the room,

“I am Alejandro Ortega, your defense in the court.” He stated clearly, sticking his hand out, asking for a hand shake,

“Oh. I’m (Y/N), thank you for your time sir.” You politely stretched out your arm and gently shook his hand,

His larger one enveloped your own hand, giving you a steady and firm handshake, slightly squeezing your hand in his,

His touch lingered, hand still tightly held around yours, he stared into your eyes, unwilling to let go,

You half smiled, trying to pull your hand away from his, slightly becoming unsettled when he didn’t let go,

He coughed, letting go of your hand and sitting down on his own chair,

He crossed his legs under the desk, taking out a paper and a pen, tapping the opposite side of the tip on the paper sheet, he discussed with you the phases of how he was planning to defend you in this case, giving you a bit of a background check on him,

“Well then, please tell me how everything happened, miss (Y/N).” 

You started retelling the events of the store, your hands coming in play and moving around to emphasize your actions and feelings,

A soft smile bloomed on the man’s face, sometimes even chuckling quietly at your exaggerated gestures,

Alejandro liked—No, adored your company, you were so charismatic and lively, your energy was so contagious that even his hard exterior had began to show cracks,

The buzzing in his chest wouldn’t stop, his hands were sweaty and his face felt warm, just what was this feeling? He is supposed to maintain a poker face and not show any favoritism with his clients.. Oh but you.. he couldn’t help but show contentment around you,

Unfortunately you soon had to go home and rest, he felt truly pity for you, being all bruised up and injured— on top of that you were in the process of being sued, 

Such a sweet soul you have, he would make sure that you would be well protected under him, he would hate to see you in harms way,

Alejandro finished helping the janitors cleaning up, he waved everyone off as they left, with suitcase in hand he leaned against the wall,

Ever since your appointment with him he couldn’t stop thinking of your face and voice, perhaps he could use your files for some.. private research.

He opened the doors of his home, his wife, Ume, peeked into the hallway as if already knowing it was him who entered the manor,

Her long white hair flowed behind her as she sped walked towards him, she brushed her bangs out of her beautiful face as she approached him,

“Honey! Did you get off work early?” She wrapped her arms around his neck, giving him a loving peck on his lips,

Alejandro grunted in response, peeling her arms off his shoulders and neck, he despised physical contact from Ume, he hated her voice, to him it sounded like nails scratching against a chalkboard, it irritated him, greatly so.

Ume was not at fault, for she had done no wrong to him, she was what any man would wish for, she was obedient, beautiful, loving and skilled in every aspect,

He just hated the intent behind his marriage with her, ever since he had slipped out of his mothers womb and brought into this world he had no control over his life, for it had been decided for him,

What he was going to be, who he was going to marry, where he was going to study, who his relationships were and even how he should feel,

He had no control over his life, he had never had any control over his own livelihood, his parents had controlled him even beyond the grave,

He hated his life. He hated Ume. He hated his parents. He cherishes you. He hated everything but you.

You had brought excitement to his life somehow, you came into his office and sparked something in him with your attitude and personality,

Maybe his life wasn’t so bad.

He stared at the knives in his kitchen, his hand itching to find something— someone to slice into ribbons with the sheening blade of the knife,

When did he become so violent? Was he this savage all along?

He shook his head lightly, taking off his glasses momentarily as he cooked dinner for his self and Ume,

He flipped the chicken and rice in two plates, as he brought the food and placed it down on the long hall table,

Ume awed at the perfectly cooked food, she dug in immediately, complimenting him and his cooking skills every time she spooned food into her mouth,

Alejandro subconsciously clutched a napkin in his hand, his knuckles turning a ghost white from sheer force,

“..Thank you” he muttered, his hand shakily cutting off some chicken and inserting it into his mouth,

His mind wandered off to your beautiful eyes, those beautiful (e/c) gems twinkling under light enamored him so much..

Alejandro noticed how your eyes would wander off sometimes, looking at him intently, as if you were listening to the most interesting thing in the world, it just made him feel so bashful..

How long had it been since he had seen you? 5 hours? 5 days? 5 years? God, he can’t remember anymore, just being away from you felt like an eternity, it was driving him insane..

Maybe next time the both of you meet you can go out for a drink together.. he smiled a little at that, perhaps he could invite you to a garden and talk to each other and learn more about you..

“Dear? What are you smiling at?” The gratingly annoying voice of his wife chimed in, anger rose inside him, taking most of his willpower to keep a calm mind and most importantly of all not to lash out at her,

“It’s none of your concern, Ume.” He answered coldly, glaring at her, a small vein sprawling across his temple in irritation,

She looked taken aback by her husband snapping at her, her smooth caramel tinted skin draining of color, her wonder turning into a fear in a flash,

Just as she was going to open her mouth to apologize Alejandro cut her off, 

“—I’m going to go take a shower, I’m finished with my diner, wash the dishes please.” He instructed as he left but not before giving her a pointed look,

Alejandro shut the bedroom door behind him, huffing as he sat on his and Ume’s shared bed

Ume wouldn’t understand, she would break down if she ever found out he had developed romantic feelings for someone else,

As soon as he makes developments in yours and his relationship he will make sure to get divorce papers signed immediately,

He wouldn’t want you to think he was unfaithful, because he isn’t.

His marriage never worked out anyway, he can only imagine the beautiful domestic life you would have with him,

He wouldn’t have to come into office, he could be your stay at home husband! He knows how to cook, clean and overall good spouse.. He spent most of his childhood honing these skills by taking care of his little sister,

He simply goes into work to avoid having to see his insufferable wife, even a minute away from her made his life expectancy slightly increase,

He opened the water, staring at his reflection before stepping into the shower,

Cold water ran from the shower head, landing refreshingly on the tall males’ back and body,

He sighed, relaxation seeping into his body slowly and steadily, he leaned his body weight onto his forearms,

His forehead rested on the cool shower walls, cleansing his thoughts for just a moment, his long hair stuck to his forehead and shoulders as water slipped off in small droplets,

 as hard as he tried he couldn’t fend away certain thoughts, all of them being of You. You. You. Ý̵̯͙̰̾Ô̸̱͉̖̣̾͝Ú̷͎͍.

Look at what you have reduced him to.. A lovesick fool.. craving nothing more than you— It has only been five days, yet you live in his brain and heart like maggots, digging deeper and deeper into him..

Yet he didn’t care, he would allow you to do so because he knew that he secretly liked it, he liked having someone to obsess over and follow like a lovesick puppy,

he had been saving his love for too long, and now it seems that you pulled the trigger on his heart, for this dangerous love ridden russian roulette has just started.

He now understands why he suffered for so many years, he sees now that it was all for you, it seems that god has gotten tired of torturing him and sent you, as his savior— his light.

If he knew things would come to this he would have chosen to suffer again and again, continuing what appeared to be an endless cycle just to be able to meet you and reach zenith.

He is holding his heart in his hands for you, it was you awakened feelings he never thought were real, now assume the consequences of your actions, won’t you, love?

Ume stalked the halls of the huge mansion, her heart feeling heavy after she upset her beloved husband,

She smoothened down her dress as she shakily opened the bedroom door, seeing that the room was empty she sat down on the bed,

Staring at the bedroom door longingly she decided to slightly peek through a crack in the doorway,

The water landed against the shower floor, helping muffle out the small whimpers and moans that were heard from Alejandro,

His hand fisted his cock rapidly, his hips bucking into his soft hand to feel some kind of friction, the sound of his hand clapping against his skin being audible even with the drizzling water ambients,

Ume’s eyes widened, never had she though her husband could ever make such.. Sinful sounds, it seemed he was saying something between the strangled sounds of pleasure..

“—N).. (Y/N).. Mmph! (Y/N), please..” 

(Y/N)? Who was this (Y/N)? Why was her husband saying that name? Was he cheating on her?

Her green eyes zeroed in on his body, watching as his back would arch and tremble whenever he would get close to climax,

Ume had tried a handful of times to get some kind of intimacy going on with Alejandro, going as far as getting some.. Aphrodisiac products, however it seemed that even under the influence of such hard core drugs he would rather deal with it himself than come close to her,

His free hand roamed his body, soon reaching up against his chest and starting to play with the soft muscle, 

Delivering soft and hard squeezes, soft groans muddled with mutters of “I love you”s slipped out of his lips,

Dampened hair fell over his eyes as he pressed his cheek against his shoulder, gentle sobs mixed with the sound of water running,

His thrusts slowed down as his thighs pressed together, with a final cry of your name the knot in his stomach came undone,

Loads and loads of white semen painted a section of the tiled shower walls, he kept thrusting into the air, riding out his high.

Ume closed the door quietly, sitting on the bed she placed her hands over her face, her well manicured nails digging into the sides of her soft face,

Whoever this.. (Y/N) was she was going to speak to, and it’s not going to be pretty.

Alejandro was her husband, hers only, and she was willing to fight tooth and nail for him,

The bathroom door opened, showing the ruby eyed man walking out with a towel wrapped around his waist, delicate beads of water dripping off his hair and rolling down his skin abdomen,

“Is there something wrong?” He asked with a raise of his eyebrow, eyeing her down menacingly,

The pretty woman but her lips while smiling, kicking off her shoes and spreading her legs open, an idea popping into her head

“Well.. perhaps, I’m feeling awfully.. Hot down there, help me will you?”

It had been 3 months precisely, it was your court date, you dressed up as best as you could afford, brushing your hair neatly and ironing your clothes to perfection,

You arrived early, looking at the huge court with furrowed brows and crudely covered dark circles, you weren’t able to get a wink of sleep last night,

Your mind couldn’t stop thinking of all the worst possible scenarios— What If you lost and went to jail? What if you were forced to sleep with a crazy cell mate? Sentenced to death? Having to use forks as hair brushes for the end of your days?!

A hand gently fell on your head, softly caressing your hair, you met scarlet eyes, beautiful eyes, the same shade as blood,

“Everything is going to be alright, I can assure you that, so please don’t worry your pretty little head over whatever you are thinking, will you promise me that?” You knew that voice, that was your lawyers voice, it was always so soothing to you, never was his voice rough or hoarse, it was always so warm and gentle..

You nodded, your worries calming down slightly, you weren’t expecting it but it sure was meaningful to you, you knew he was very.. Stoic most of the time, you liked to think he might have a soft spot for you, although the probability of that is probably non existent, oh how you were so so wrong.

The both of you entered the court, you were sweating buckets of sweat, pulling at your collar once in a while to try and freshen yourself up,

“Defendants please rise.” The judge called out, her voice strong and authoritative,

The both of you stood up, you were so nervous in the moment that you totally ignored Alejandro’s hand clasped around yours, his fingers intertwined tightly in between yours,

Alejandro was right, he was good, good was a massive understatement, he got evidence from places you didn’t even recognize, you had no idea if some of the documents had been falsified or not due to how legit they looked,

By the end of court you weren’t the one in cuffs, but the mother of the little boy, who had been taken into custody,

She yelled profanities at you, kicking and screaming at the police men to let her go,

Alejandro stood in front of you protectively, eyes narrowed into a glare, gaze as sharp as knives and glass shards,

You were so happy and relieved, weight had been lifted off your shoulders, you felt as if you were going to cry or happiness,

Your chest felt light as you hugged Alejandro, thanking him a million times over and over,

Had you overstepped boundaries? Maybe, Would Alejandro normally flip out and do something unseemly? If you were someone else, yes.

But it’s you, how could he deny you of something he had been wanting to do for a long time? How? So he wasn’t.

He deserved this too, he had gone through so much trouble to fake so much evidence to get that dirty bitch in jail, and you were willingly giving him his reward,

He basically threw himself on you, his arms over your head, he adjusted your arms on his waist, letting you hug him as close as you desired,

His face was close to your hair— so so close to you, he just had to smell you, just one second, please please please please please please.

He breathed in your scent, his eyes threatening to roll back into his head, you smelled so good, he knew his wife was in the audience but he couldn’t give less of a fuck,

Let her watch, let her see how he loved you so much more, he didn’t care anymore, he wasn’t going to hide it anymore, because it was true he had become so intimately infatuated with you he couldn’t even stand being a moment without you,

He had all he ever wanted right in his arms, and he didn’t care what he had to do to make you his, 

He didn’t care if he had to frame innocent people over and over again, he didn’t care if he had to make shady deals with hackers or mafia men, he will do crazy shit and get away with it!

If he had to let the world burn for you he would turn the world ablaze until only ash and cinder was left, only to light it on fire again over and over just to prove how much he loved you.

His eyes met his “wife”’s emerald like gaze, her eyes shining under light with jealousy, he knew she wanted to tear the both of you apart,

But he wouldn’t let her, as he would be the one ripping her to shreds this time around,

He will do anything and he means everything for you. 

He would do it all in your name. ♡

[moonstruckme]

omg omg omg i can see it now, reader in the hospital hooked up to an ekg and emt!maurauders after dropping someone off sees her in the room and they go in to check on her and her pulse just skyrockets and sirius is like "oh are you still in shock?" and rem is like "...i don't think so" and then they all get so flustered and reader gets flustered and fluffffffff

Thanks for requesting!

part 1 | part 2

cw: hospital, head injury, broken ribs

emt!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 979 words

Some of the whiplash you’d been warned about is setting in now. It’s been a few hours since the trio of unreasonably attractive paramedics had dropped you off at the hospital, and you’re stiff and sore all over. Even your knees have developed dark bruises, apparently from hitting the dashboard when you’d stopped suddenly. You don’t remember getting them. 

The other doctors and nurses who’d been assigned to your care have been nice and of course highly competent, but no one has been as kind or warm as the men who’d picked you up at the scene. Ridiculous as it is, you almost miss them. There’s nothing comforting about this place, and if you can’t have the familiarity of a loved one with you, you’d happily settle for the strangers’ compassion. 

The parade of hospital workers and concerned loved ones going past your room is endless, but you look up from your phone when someone stops abruptly in the doorway. 

Sirius lets out a quiet oof when he crashes into James from behind, Rem simply sidestepping the both of them before coming to a stop in front of your room. 

“Hey.” James grins at you. “It’s you, from the car crash.” 

“Hi.” You return his smile bashfully, and Rem gives James an exasperated look. 

“I’m sure she’d rather not be referred to as the girl from the car crash, James.” 

“Right.” James' smile goes somewhat sheepish. “Sorry.” 

“It’s fine,” you reassure him. “Thanks for…uh, everything. Earlier.” 

“You’re very welcome,” Sirius drawls, recovering from his collision and sauntering into the room. He gives you a not-so-subtle look over. “Just doing our job, dollface.” 

The monitor connected to your finger starts beeping more rapidly, and the suave confidence saps from his expression. 

“Shit, are you still in shock?” 

It starts going faster. You’re pretty sure your face is getting red too. How much trouble would you be in if you just disconnected the thing? 

“I don’t…” Rem’s eyes narrow, a second before his eyebrows raise an inch. “I don’t think so.” 

Your gulp has to be audible. 

“Oh,” Sirius says, his brow unfurrowing. He looks at you, and a smile curves his lips. “Oh.” 

“Okay, the both of you fuck off.” James comes to your defense, striding over as if to forcibly remove Sirius from your beside. “Look what you’re doing to the poor girl! Remus, you didn’t have to give her away like that.” 

“Better than her still being in shock,” Rem—or Remus, apparently—points out. 

“It’s fine, darling,” James goes on with forced breeziness. He’s looking at you with such sweetness you’d almost believe his nonchalance if not for the quick way he blabbers on. “Honestly, it’s an unfair advantage for us that you’re the only one with a heart monitor on. Though I suppose I’m lucky I don’t have one on too, or we’d be making a pretty terrible symphony in here right now.” 

It takes you a second to catch his meaning, but by the time you do he’s blushing nearly as badly as you. 

He’s tossed himself under the bus just so you wouldn’t be down there by yourself. 

You don’t know what to say to that, but a quiet thanks slips past your lips unchecked, and for reasons you cannot figure James’ smile softens in response. 

“Anytime, love. So, what’re you still doing here?” He changes the subject hastily. “They keeping you for observation or something?” 

“No, I’m just waiting for my ride to get off work,” you explain. “What are you doing here?”

Sirius grins, leaning against the wall near your bed. “We work here, babe.” 

“No, I—I know that,” you laugh. It hurts your chest, and all three boys’ expressions tense with sympathy when something in your face must reveal it. “I meant, don’t you usually work in the ambulance?”

“We just dropped off another patient,” he says, so preparedly that you suspect he knew what you were really asking the first time. “Older guy, complaining of a stomach ache.” He winks. “No competition for you, sweetness.” 

Christ. You’d thought they were bad when they’d picked you up, but it’s worse when you can actually process what they’re saying and doing. 

“Is he okay?” you ask, ignoring Sirius’ last comment. 

James gives you another one of his soft smiles. “Yeah, he’s alright. We see him like three times a week, he’s always fretting about something. But how are you, sweetheart? They treating you alright in here?”

You shrug. “I’m fine. I have some broken ribs and a concussion, like you said earlier, but I’m just glad it wasn’t worse. And of course everyone has been very nice.” 

“Glad to hear it.” Remus’ voice seems soft compared to the other two, though he more matches your volume. He perches next to you on the bed, eyebrows scrunching just a little as he looks at the stitches on your forehead. “Mmm, that’s probably going to scar.” 

“I don’t mind,” you say honestly, a second before remembering his own scars. They tug a bit as his eyebrows flick upward again, and then his lips pull into a boyish, lopsided grin. 

The monitor goes off again, and you cover your face with your hands as Sirius cackles. 

“Sorry, lovely.” Remus’ voice sounds somewhat amused too as his hand lands on your shoulder, squeezing delicately. “We’ll get out of your hair so you can rest.” 

“Thank you,” you say into your hands, removing them only once his weight lifts from the bed. 

Sirius won’t stop laughing, not looking abashed even when Remus grabs him by the collar of his shirt and drags him along on his trajectory out of the room. 

“Get well,” James says, walking backwards to follow them and giving you a smile that seems to contain, impossibly, equal parts mirth and earnestness. “I’d say I hope to see you around here again, but best not, huh?”

[krewekreep]

Baby Daddy Red Flags: Bleach Edition (😜🤍)

This one…this one for the sluts! 😭💕 I’m an old anime bitch like lemme get it out my system! (We gonna tag this #ToxicTalk lmaoo, this is a safe space)

(If you wanna know who we share 😒, I’ll add an asterisk or whatever. ((They still mine first 😂💝🫡)) (will update and repost with new additions, semi-live post)

***ICHIGO: Lemme get my baby daddy out the way. Biggest issues would be his availability before and after the kid. Probably got pregnant in a makeup sex situation anyway. Ichigo doesn’t seem to type to breakup but will say let’s break. Based on how selfless he is it also can be seen coming from him not being able to save his mom—so he may have a savior complex. It may seem valiant at first like “oh wow you became friends with Chad helping him with bullies? You became closer to Orihime (😒) after helping her grieve her brother? You’re such a good person!” Til you realize seniority is in place and when his friends call he drops whatever he is doing to go help. It’s been time, money, etc and increasingly his selflessness comes off as codependent. Like he can’t stop trying to make up for something that wasn’t his fault.

He will also randomly reserve to right to become reclusive. Not necessarily secretive but less energetic, talkative, or engaged. (You def realize your baby got some functional depression going on. Iykyk). Might not annoy you but the random times he doesn’t want to be touched or seemingly avoids you does hurt…but he sincerely comes back letting you know he was in a weird space etc.

Ichigo’s biggest yes or no is if you’ll be able to sometimes come second or third (likely til you marry and/or have kids with him.) His father and sisters are absolutely #1, his friends are #2, and his oath to the Soul Society and humanity at large is a consequence of him protecting the first two so that’s of course #3. See where I’m going? Even on your best days you might be upset he runs off to Rukia’s or Orihime’s aid. That he has to “save the world,”to save you too. Jealous types might really become frustrated with Ichigo. And tbh I don’t see him breaking out of his ways. He won’t see a need to because there’s real results of his good deeds in his life. He knows he’s saved lives, so he knows he can continue to—so will you be able to handle the fact his duty and mindset will be self sacrificing? I don’t know I think I’d tie him down with a baby and move on.

**KENPACHI: I fully accept and am attracted to his animalistic tendencies. I absolutely can admit that about myself 😭 but…realistically you’d def have to tell him he’s too rough during sessions. He’s grown up wayward, defensive, survival mode, stomach touching his back— during a time so seemingly historical and old who knows how bad the conditions of poverty were—most kids died if they simply weren’t rich and able to eat. Or turned to crime at extremely young ages or exploited….That’s just global history in real life. And the soul society is that much more complex and arduous. Kenpachi will be a man of few words but immense action. If you want someone who will open up even eventually that is not Kenpachi Zaraki. You will highly likely never know of his past because he will never say he is excruciatingly doing everything to never have to. And no, he won’t communicate ever if anything terrible is on his mind. Although kenpachi is coded as barbaric he really is just that protective—he’s as angry as he will be based solely upon someone’s proximity to him emotionally. You and Yaru will be so exclusively held in a regard he won’t even understand. Just the black hole of his awareness he’ll surpass anything to save y’all. He won’t speak on why Lady Unohana isn’t around anymore (new anime, manga lore). But again, when he ends up rough too many nights in a row you distance yourself from him. He can’t admit to you he disassociates and goes back to bad times. He can’t tell you your comfort and warmth makes him remember the times he needed it before—he doesn’t mean to hurt you but he lives for a fight. But he wants to stop making everything and everyone something to “conquer.” He’ll be a real deal handful and it will solely up to you to either tell him you can’t be with him until he figure shit out or you’ll stick beside him and work through it together. (In this case Yaru is the “kid” yall share, I see him being weary of birthing a child and being a dad in such a “visceral” way. Will have total abandonment trauma and just can’t see him getting over it completely to bring new life into a world he already sees the worst in tbh.) but in terms of “baby momma” treatment? Or your prioritized and protected best believe. 💕 he also will force you to learn combat cause you should be able to take care yourself too. Which might either be hot or burdensome. You’re gonna know how to fight. And tbh he might try to bring it into the bedroom on some weird let’s play fight shit so watch yourself. That’s a BIG MAN! 😭😂💕 “HA! Now that you know how do a few things why don’t you test it on me?” Big cheeky sneaky ass grin girl don’t fall for it!

BYAKUYA: This is the guy who will match your freak everywhere but in public. No PDA—actually don’t even look at him or try to talk to him in public…be professional. He will be joking with others and you’ll get upset saying “Hey! You let the other members of the society tease you?” And in private he’ll admit it’s just to keep up appearances and he hates it all. 😭 I think his biggest issue will be coming off fake or disingenuous or you’ll have a hard time sincerely seeing him cause he’ll be so different depending on where y’all are. People wouldn’t know he’s like a mom boyfriend who makes sure you eat, sleep, and keep up with yourself. Yes, he will absolutely unintentionally say something insulting like “This doesn’t suit you. Find something else.” And yes he will be very clearly on guard when in public. People will openly wonder why you’re with him tbh. Which will frustrate the both of you of which neither of you ever bring up to the other. Byakuya has lost a love before—he won’t talk about it ever. You MIGHT get something out of Rukia about it cause it was her sister but I doubt she’ll go super intimate about THEIR relationship cause she respects both his and her sister’s privacy. So you might be stuck on an eavesdropping side quest with Renji that amounts to nothing cause he’ll sense yall. He’ll be amused and somewhat touched you wanted to watch him work though. He’s usually the one keeping check or track of things so he’ll never say he likes that you peep on him and mind his business. You care about him and he knows he’s a bit unfair not allowing any PDA. But he so openly loved on Rukia’s sister he couldn’t help the shameful self imposed embarrassment once he had to walk the halls alone…Byakuya will be a very intentional, quiet lover. I doubt he’ll moan very much tbh unless he’s exhausted and allowing you to take care of him. Sometimes he’ll absolutely disappear all day into work. Other times he’ll be sure to direct his underlings to wait on you in his stead. He’s more manageable if you can accept his sometimes snarky, distant, super private ways. As a father he’ll be annoyingly big on exceptionalism and them being smart and talented. You’ll have to be sure he isn’t burdening your kid when you aren’t around. And you’ll have to be sure he doesn’t inadvertently impart his insensitive habits too. Likewise, you’ll ABSOLUTELY have to “deal or no deal” him about giving affection to your kid in public. You will absolutely have to go off and tell him it’s y’all or his image. And yeah now he’s holding both yall hands albeit defeated. 💕😭

AIZEN: Shit…girl (im black my “girl…” is gender neutral don’t be annoying 💕) you already know what it is. Yandare, selfish, self righteous, MEAN, EVIL…but fine and rich as fuck. 😔🫤 it will be a doozy to be with this one. You literally have to know and accept what you getting into bestie. I can’t even warn you, you know! 😭 but seriously if your an aizen bias you accept him as is 😭 psycho ass. So I wanna just write how’d he be as a baby daddy. Now not to get…too mature…but if you happened to be someone captured/kidnapped by him and pregnant…baby you is a victim! BUT ITS FANFIC SOOO if you were the captured baby momma that’s in his realm with him…well girl you in the realm lord you stuck. “Can I go to the human world?” “For what?” “Uh, sun?” “Humph what do you need sun for…” He’ll look down at your crying child and be like “Ugh okay whatever but Grimmjow is your chaperone.” And you won’t care cause Grimmjow lets you run off and live life. Which Aizen knows but the minute you aren’t overtly scared and submissive to him he’ll lose his weird sense of “power.” You’re man crazy bestie. He’s definitely someone you won’t talk back to until you’re a parent and equally going to advocate for your kid. He’ll realize and laugh to himself “Their not really submissive at all…little minx…” and hold you in completely new regard. “So you took me as is because you wanted to?” He’ll start thinking shit that confuses him and decide to randomly kill a grunt to distract himself like no he’s not gonna reflect into a better person. 😂 you’ll have everything you want cause you can’t go nowhere 😭. Mind you yes the sex is mind blowing so you sadly do take what positives are there…his eyes don’t fall sexually to anyone but you. His body doesn’t respond certain ways to anyone but you. And as you stand next to him more and more he’s leaning into you and your baby’s energy rather than tryna to overtake yall with his. Just don’t speak about the change and it’ll be fine. The minute you tease or openly acknowledge his becoming softer and less controlling you’ll ruin all the progress you made. Let him feel like he’s in control or whatever.

New Additions (1):

Hitsugaya: (adult of course) Hitsu will be a blend of Byakuya and Ichigo. The best aspects of him will be how attentive and actionable he is about his love for you. But — he will shy away from PDA and sometimes have moments of separated solitude. Unlike Byakuya, he will absolutely open up to PDA, just will never be the initiator of it. Maybe grab your hand at the end of the day to hurry back home or stare at you as long as he can while he observes your dutiful working. He’ll be shy always which keeps your love feeling young and refreshed. You’ll always be able to make him blush and unlike Ichigo, he’ll warm up to you imposing yourself on his alone time. He’ll be big on love making and planning when to have a child so it will be less spontaneous. He’ll have the baby registry and wishlists prepared, printed, and passed out to members of the Soul Society. He’ll enjoy trips to the human world to acquire new toys and trinkets for your baby.

As a baby daddy he’s almost too protective. You wonder what he’s been through as he’ll have a firm grip of your hips as you cradle your child. He’ll have a habit of looking at your baby and then between the both of you stunned at how he can see the perfect blend of your features on your child’s face. He’ll be very close to a simp honestly (which I’m a fan of) and be at your beck & call no matter the hour. Definitely the dad to tell you don’t worry about tending to the little one, keep resting cause he knows how tired you get. He’s honestly the perfect idea of a new father as he’ll be bumbling a bit but with so much to prove. I realize I kinda didn’t write red flags cause I truly see Hitsu adjusting to parenthood and a long term relationship the best. Only thing I can think is that he’ll be overtly willing to sacrifice himself for your family’s safety. So any massive issue in the Soul Society will make your heart sink a little because while he’s capable he’s been in enough life threatening predicaments to cause ample, appropriate worry. He’ll be hard to break out of working I think until your child starts schooling which could be frustrating cause he’ll overcompensate parenting in lieu of his work commitments. Overall, I think he’d be the baby daddy with the least to really worry about.

Renji: Oh lord— all tea, all shade this man will STRUGGLE. « What do you mean the baby is hungry AGAIN ? You just breastfed! WAIT DO NOT PULL YOUR TIT OUT IN PUBLIC WOMAN ! » He’ll have a hard time adjusting to your freedom as a breastfeeding mom for sure (if you choose to). Work ? What’s work? One thing you can count on is that he will absolutely commit to being a family man and even a stay at home dad. He’ll take all his PTO or even « quit » (basically will say don’t call me to help unless the Soul Society is about to die.) He will wait on you hand & foot because he can’t imagine how much your body and mind has gone through and the strength it takes to be so tired but smile and laugh with him and your kiddo. But, he may end up a bit controlling about you leaving the house without him. He’ll either become a sad puppy or an angry old man. « Baby…what do you mean you want me to stay home ? 😓🥺 » or «  Woman, what did I tell you about going out without me ? What if a crazy person tried to rob you ? » You laugh at him always being some level of dramatic but it may get annoying how clingy and worried he’ll become. You’ll have to remind him you lived this long for a reason…and plan to live longer, so he can chill out sometimes cause his worried nature worries you…you might benefit from guilt tripping him into apologizing and giving you a breather on leaving the house. But just know someone is watching over you. Renji would be a great cook or a terrible cook who improves over time. He might be great at catching the baby right when they poop or…end up shat on rushing to a sink. I really see him either being weirdly good at being a dad or definitely suffering from the learning curve.

Your baby will definitely be conceived in a wild love making, (maybe rough, passionate sex) session. And you’ll catch him blushing when he holds your baby and looks at you remembering the night you had. You’ll be the type to walk in on them sleeping crazily on the sofa, his arm instinctively holding your baby firm. He’ll be grateful to not have to jump up to go to work honestly. His biggest red flags will be being overbearing, needy, and likely requiring a lot of overt reassurance. (Which isn’t necessarily a red flag given he just will want to be a really good dad and partner.) Otherwise he’ll become a stubborn dad who will try (and fail) to « put his foot down. » Which will likely result in him sleeping on the sofa…💕

[danmei-confessions]

I think we should talk about Wu Zetian, China’s only female emperor, who historically has been regarded as a horrible and brutal leader.

She was born a commoner, became a concubine to one emperor, married his son and then took the role of emperor for herself when he died. She was politically adept, highly ambitious and extraordinarily intelligent.

History has accused her of smothering her newly born daughter and blaming a rival for her death. She had that rivals hands and feet cut off and then had her thrown into a vat of wine in which she was left to drown. She gouged out another rivals eyes and had acid poured down her throat. She wiped out 12 entire branches of a clan. She poisoned her mother. Just how accurate these things are is up for debate, but while these things might not all be true, she certainly did have several family members killed. And she did deal with her rivals and her detractors ruthlessly. Yet none of these things would have attracted criticism if she had been a man. She was no more scandalous than any other ruler during that time period.

But! Her rule was peaceful and prosperous. She avoided wars and welcomed ambassadors from as far away as the Byzantine empire. She changed laws so common people could be chosen for roles in government for their abilities rather than their name or status. She acknowledged and acted on criticisms from her retainers. She built watchtowers along the Silk Road so merchants wouldn’t be harrowed by bandits. Her reign saw women given more freedom(the ability to divorce, hold government positions, travel, hunt and ride horses, to be recognized by scholars).

She supported Buddhism and helped the religion spread and grow through commissioning temples, monasteries, and even a statue of the Buddha said to be carved in her own likeness. In the eyes of the common people, she likely would have been an incredibly popular ruler.

She remains a controversial figure primarily because of stories about her personal actions against her rivals by male Confucian officials who were prejudiced against strong and ambitious women and while they undoubtedly exaggerated aspects of Wu’s life, there is still substantial verifiable evidence of her ruthlessness.

We should also be aware that although she allegedly held her power through murder and merciless, according to Confucian philosophy, ‘while an emperor should not be condemned for acts that would be crimes in a subject, he should be judged harshly for allowing the state to fall into anarchy’ and viewed under this lens, Wu did effectively fulfill her duties as a ruler.

So we have a leader of ancient china who had two faces, one who committed acts of vile cruelty against her family and rivals and one who gave her citizens peace and prosperity.

Through a modern lens she can be viewed as an evil woman who rose from humble beginnings and coldly and calculatingly murdered her way into arguably the most powerful position in the world. A rich woman who threw crumbs to her peasant people while she lived luxuriously. She is a deadly woman, a black widow, an evil stepmother, a kinslayer. But according to historians, “without Wu there would have been no long enduring Tang dynasty and perhaps no lasting unity of China.”

The comparison to a modern mr beast obviously doesn’t hold water, but we can certainly analyze jgy to a more comparable historical figure and argue more accurately in a historical context if jgy was a good leader as the de facto emperor as the cultivation worlds Xiāndū.

It’s easy to see the comparisons between Wu and jgy, both were undesirable and deemed unfit by society. But both were politically adept, highly ambitious and extraordinarily intelligent. Both had family members murdered, perhaps sharing between them filicide. Both had a clans murdered to a man. Both are thought to have had their faces carved on religious relics for their narcissistic pleasure. Both had watchtowers built as a defense for their people. And both were torn down by the men following after them, vilified and distorted. Both forever destined to be speculated upon and misunderstood. Both of their legacy’s destroyed by rumor and falsification. It would not surprise me in the slightest if mxtx didn’t draw on Wu at least a little bit in the creation of jgy. Both Wu and jgy are culpable for some pretty heinous stuff, that can’t be denied. But like Wu, jgy also has a second face.

Moral bias and character motivation aside, his efforts to build watchtowers, his patronage of religion in the building of Guanyin temple, his fight against political corruption, his years long peaceful reign, his charity, all these things lead to the conclusion that under the rule of Confucian, he more than aptly fulfilled his role as a leader for his citizens.

And if you really want to look at Jgys leadership through a modern lens, we really don’t have to look much further than Ingersoll. “If you want to find out what a man is to the bottom, give him power.”

And really that’s part of the tragedy of his character. Because of his background he excelled when he was in a role of leadership. He was good at it.

Whether or not jgy as a literary character is a good person, is subjective and should not be used to measure his role as an effective leader.

All of that being said, jgy is my bestfriend and I love him and would I die for him.

.

[carringtonsgirl]

sorry but why are you all defending nick when what he did was wrong....like he had no right or reason to tell chris to stop stimming and the whole comment about it was uncalled for. why are you trying to justify his behavior when it was literally abelist? as someone with mild autism and adhd its highly defensive. im stimming constantly even when i don't realize i do.

yall need to stop defending the triplets and dick riding just because they're "famous" and attractive. nick was being abelist as fuck and he needs to take accountability for what he did and apologize.

[kruegerslov3r]

my headcanons about simon riley

1. what's he like in a relationship?

simon riley would be a tough nut to crack in a romantic relationship. he's a quiet and private person, so it would take him some time to open up and let his partner in..

initially, riley would be cautious and guarded, unsure of how to navigate the intimacy of a relationship. he would struggle with vulnerability and expressing his feelings openly. subtle gestures and actions would speak louder than words for riley.

but once he trusts his partner and lets them past his defenses, riley can be a really caring and attentive partner. he'd be super loyal and protective, doing everything he could to keep them safe and make them feel secure.

in the relationship, riley would appreciate quality time spent together, even if it's just quietly enjoying each other's company. he may not be the most outwardly affectionate, but he would show his love through small acts of kindness and support.

riley would also be very patient and understanding, willing to give his partner space when needed. he would respect their boundaries and never pressure them. at the same time, he would hope for that same level of understanding in return.

intimacy may be a challenge for riley at first, as he's unused to let someone get so close. but over time, as he becomes more comfortable, he opens up and is quite passionate and devoted behind closed doors.

overall, being in a relationship with wimon riley would require patience and understanding. but for the right person who can break through his walls, he would prove to be a loyal, loving, and protective partner.

2. does riley have any specific relationship dealbreakers or red flags?

— lack of trust/honesty

given riley's traumatic past, the ability to trust and be trusted is paramount. he would have a very low tolerance for any dishonesty or deception from a partner. betrayal of that trust would likely be an unforgivable dealbreaker.

— disrespect of his boundaries

riley highly values his privacy and solitude at times. a partner who is constantly demanding his attention or prying into his past would quickly wear thin on him. he needs a certain level of independence and space within the relationship.

— recklessness or carelessness

riley is extremely cautious and calculated, both in his work and personal life. a partner who is reckless, impulsive, or careless would clash significantly with his careful, methodical nature. he couldn't be with someone who constantly puts themselves or others at risk.

— disloyalty

as a deeply loyal person himself, riley would expect the same from a partner. any hint of infidelity or betrayal of their commitment would likely be an immediate dealbreaker for him. he needs to feel secure in the relationship.

3. what qualities or behaviors would riley find most attractive in a potential partner?

— patience and understanding

Riley is a bit guarded, so he'd probably like someone patient who's willing to take the time to get to know him. He'd respect someone who doesn't pressure him to open up before he's ready.

— loyalty and discretion

as a highly private person, riley would value a partner who is discreet, trustworthy, and fiercely loyal. someone who can keep his confidence and stand by him no matter what.

— competence and capability

riley is skilled and talented in his own right, so he would be drawn to a partner who can match his level of competence. he would admire someone who is capable, resourceful, and self-sufficient.

— genuine care and affection

beneath his stoic exterior, riley yearns for genuine care and affection. he would be touched by a partner who makes the effort to understand him and show they truly care without being overbearing.

— perceptiveness

riley keeps his emotions close to the vest, so he would appreciate a partner who is highly observant and intuitive. someone who can pick up on his subtle cues and moods without him having to openly express them.

4. examples of how simon might express her attraction to a potential partner

— subtle acts of service

rather than grand, public gestures, simon would show his affection through small, thoughtful acts. perhaps he notices his partner's coffee mug is empty and quietly refills it.

— protective instincts

if he senses his partner is in any kind of distress or danger, riley's protective nature would immediately kick in. he might subtly position himself between them and any perceived threat or discreetly check in to ensure their wellbeing.

— intense eye contact

while man isn't one for overt displays of emotion, his eyes would likely betray his inner feelings. when interacting with his partner, he may hold their gaze intently, conveying a depth of unspoken affection.

— gentle, lingering touches

riley would be cautious about initiating physical contact, but when he does, it would be purposeful and charged with underlying meaning. a hand on the small of their back, a brush of their fingers, a longing gaze.

— sharing rare insights

simon is very selective about what he chooses to share about himself. if he opens up to his partner, even in small ways, it would be a profound display of trust and intimacy from him.

— defending their honor

should anyone ever speak ill of or act disrespectfully toward his partner, man would not hesitate to defend them firmly. his loyalty and protectiveness would shine through, even if he doesn't vocalize the underlying reason.

5. examples of how simon riley might express his attraction in a public setting

— discreet physical contact

man would likely avoid overt public displays of affection. however, he may allow for the occasional brush of his hand against his partner's or a gentle touch at the small of their back as they walk together. brief, almost imperceptible gestures that convey his desire for closeness.

— protective positioning

if in a crowded or potentially threatening environment, riley would naturally position himself between his partner and any perceived danger. this protective instinct would shine through, even if he doesn't explicitly acknowledge it.

— attentive body language

while riley may not openly stare or gaze adoringly at his partner, his body language would likely convey his focus and attention. he would face them, make occasional eye contact, and orient his entire being towards them.

— subtle expressions

riley usually doesn't show much emotion, but when he's with his partner in public, you can sometimes see a little smile or a crinkle around his eyes. only someone who knows him really well would notice it, though.

[murderluv23]

Something I will say about this episode that gave me off vibes is Ozzie's remark about Fizzarolli going outside.

The expression on Fizz's face just??? Made me uncomfortable?? He's obviously guilty about giving Ozzie trouble and worrying him sick by getting kidnapped and beaten- but I feel like it's deeper than that. Fizzarolli doesn't look relieved or like he's feeling protected. It's more like- coddled. Which makes perfect sense. Ozzie may not be trying to be malicious or controlling but Fizzarolli is an adult.

At the very start of the episode, even, Fizz is trying to just be able to go out for a simple stroll without Ozzie nagging him about being careful or trusting him to take care of himself. Fizz may not be the best fighter but he isn't helpless. And he isn't a child. Fizz can sure be reckless but he isn't stupid, either.

I understand Ozzie's want for Fizz to be safe and how him being a celebrity will always attract creeps but keeping him inside is extreme. Even if Ozzie suggested having security he can go out with, that....has to be suffocating. I feel like Fizz was half joking. He hated being outside because it got him in trouble. But I highly doubt he meant he wanted nothing to do with being able to leave the palace for fun or venturing out to try to do things for and by himself.

I don't know, I just feel like Ozzie's overprotectiveness could be a huge detriment to Fizz and really unhealthy if pushed too far. I mean, look, Fizz couldn't handle himself against kidnappers because he is so used to everything being done for him. That's proof right there he has some stunted growth that could've happened if he wasn't so protected all the time. Accidents happen. And Fizzarolli could be separated from his guards. Or like here, not with Ozzie. What then? Having some self defense experience would work wonders. Keeping him in further is not the solution.

I think Fizz really is craving a bit more outside what his life is like and was hoping Ozzie would scold him for wanting to stay inside. But instead he affirmed him to not go anywhere. That just- really makes me tense up.

[curseofdelos]

I finished re-reading TLH recently, and I want to talk about the common fan interpretation of Piper as a pick me girl for a sec (let me preface this whole post by clarifying that while this is ultimately a defense of Piper as a character, it is also a critique of how Rick wrote her, Drew, and the rest of cabin 10)

The way cabin 10 is written in the books has never been great. Very early on in TLT, Rick makes a point to establish that Aphrodite had both sons and daughters:

Take note of how Rick explicitly genders Aphrodite kids in this paragraph, but uses the gender neutral "kids" to refer to the children of every other god. This is a very deliberate writing choice, and I can't think of any reason why he would have done this other than to (initially anyway) avoid associating womanhood with vanity/interest in personal appearances.

...And then in every book after this, cabin 10 heavily skews female, and traditional femininity becomes the butt of almost every joke about them.

Cabin 10 doesn't get any real focus until TLH with the introduction of Piper, Drew, and the rest of Cabin 10, in which Rick spends a lot of time establishing how different Piper is from the rest of her cabin because she rejects traditional femininity. Piper cuts her own hair, she doesn't wear makeup or care about fashion, she hates dresses etc. This is in direct contrast with Drew who's often described as wearing heavy makeup, having perfectly done hair, manicured nails etc.

Note that Piper's description of Drew's appearance is fairly neutral. Her problem with Drew is not in how she chooses to dress, but in her behaviour.

This would be fine if it weren't for the fact that every time Drew's appearance is described, it is directly preceded and/or followed by her doing something heinous. She insults and degrades Piper's appearance within seconds of meeting her, and we see this again in the Cabin 10 scene where she bullies and manipulates their siblings - kicking them out of the bathroom mid-shower, dumping a bin filled with used tampons on the floor and making them clean it up, etc.

Piper and Drew are in direct competition throughout the entirety of TLH. Piper strongly disapproves of the way Drew runs the cabin, they have differing opinions on Silena Beauregard (despite the fact Piper doesn't actually know her but I digress), and they're both interested in pursuing Jason romantically - Piper out of genuine attraction, and Drew out of the desire to break his heart for the Aphrodite Rite of Passage.

The narrative at every turn pits them against each other. Piper's intentions are always painted as pure and kindhearted while Drew is consistently characterised as a stereotypical mean girl who hurts others simply because she can. Drew is never given any motivation for acting the way she does, and her sole role in the story is to act as an obstacle for Piper to overcome so she could become counsellor (which is kind of pointless considering Piper never interacts with her cabin again after this). She's flat and two-dimensional, and never gets any real character development. Her sole personality trait is mean.

The result of all of this is that traditional femininity gets associated with shitty behaviour, while the rejection of traditional femininity gets associated with kindness and generosity. It should be stressed that Piper herself doesn't actually think that she's better than Drew because she doesn't wear makeup etc; Piper's issues entirely lie with Drew's behaviour. The worst Piper ever says is calling all of cabin 10 "shallow" which is no different to how the other characters talk about them (which is still a problem to be clear; it's just not a problem with Piper specifically, but how the narrative characterises cabin 10 as a whole). It's the narrative that paints femininity as lesser because of the way it positions tomboy Piper (the protagonist) as a better person than highly feminine Drew (the antagonist).

In fact, the most explicitly we ever see the book paint Piper's appearance as preferable to Drew's is in Jason's POV - not Piper's. After Piper gets claimed and Aphrodite changes her appearance, Jason spends several chapters going on and on about how much more beautiful and desirable Piper is when she's not dressed up or wearing makeup.

Because of all of this, it's not difficult to see why so many people in this fandom have interpreted Piper as a pick me 'not like other girls' type girl. The narrative constantly presents her as a better person than the more feminine Drew, and Jason (the boy they're competing over) chooses her at least partly because of how naturally beautiful she is without trying.

However, even though I do understand where this interpretation of her character came from, I do want to push back on it for a number of reasons.

Firstly, it is explicitly stated several times in TLH that the reasons Piper doesn't wear makeup and cuts her own hair is because (1) she doesn't like being the centre of attention (see the first screenshot of this post), and (2) she's rebelling against her father.

Piper's entire character arc in TLH centres around her initially being insecure at the start of the book to becoming more confident over the course of their quest. It is stated on several occasions early on that Piper doesn't like being the centre of attention, but by the end, she feels more comfortable in her own skin. She goes from being embarrassed/hurt by Drew's comments about her to laughing them off and standing up to her by the end.

The term "pick me girl" refers to girls who do things for external, mostly male validation. This is the exact opposite of why Piper doesn't wear makeup or conform to traditional femininity. She does this precisely because she does NOT want to draw attention to herself. The only male who's attention she is trying to get is her father's, and she's doing this by acting out in ways he doesn't approve of. Piper does want validation from her father, but she's not cutting her own hair to get his validation; she's so starved for affection that she wants any attention from him, even if that attention is negative.

Similarly, a major point of conflict for Piper is whether or not Jason is attracted to her, but she is not rejecting feminine things because she wants to impress him Jason does find those qualities in her attractive, but Piper held these opinions long before they even met. It was Jason/the narrative that paints those qualities in Piper attractive, not Piper herself. (Side note: there's a lot more to be said about how their relationship was written in TLH, but that isn't relevant to get into that here.)

The other reason why I want to push back on the interpretation of Piper as a pick me girl is that she's a queer woman. In a straight patriarchal society, women (women of colour especially) are often expected and pressured to perform gender in particular ways - wearing makeup, dressing femininely, being attracted to boys and exclusively boys. In much the same way that Piper's coming out now makes it possible to read her relationship with Jason as compulsory heterosexuality, it's also possible to read her discomfort with traditional femininity as discomfort with being a straight girl. It's possible to retroactively read Piper's dislike for feminine things as her feeling uncomfortable with heterosexuality but is too closeted at this point to realise it. She does, after all, cut her hair very short at the end of TBM while she is the process of exploring her sexuality.

(To be clear: I'm not arguing that this is what Rick had always intended for her - I assume he expected Jason/Piper would be endgame at the time he was writing TLH - but I do think there's a 'death of the author' interpretation available here that her hatred of dresses etc is an early sign of her being a closeted queer woman who is beginning to explore her gender presentation and sexuality.)

I feel that sometimes, in their efforts to (rightly) criticise the way femininity gets treated in this series, some people act as if makeup is in intrinsic part of womanhood and that Piper is a misogynist for not wanting to wear it. This is not true. It is not inherently misogynistic for a woman to dislike it - especially when that woman is queer, and especially in today's society where many women are pressured into wearing makeup to be taken seriously. Piper disliking makeup is not the problem.

The problem with Piper's story in TLH is that the narrative consistently presents her as a better person than the more feminine Drew, and a more desirable option for Jason because of how beautiful she is without trying really hard like Drew and the other Aphrodite girls do. Because every highly feminine character is either a villain (Drew) or a joke (Valentina in TOA), the result of Piper and Drew's rivalry is that femininity gets demonised by the narrative. Again, it's not that Piper herself thinks she's better than Drew for hating fashion; it's the way the story puts these characters in opposition to each other that results in femininity being framed as lesser.

I think a writer with a better grasp of women's issues (and queer women's issues especially) could have written a great story here on gender as a performance, and an exploration on conforming (Drew) VS rebelling (Piper) against gender norms! How there really is no winning and women get harassed for being too feminine AND for not being feminine enough (See: the jokes about Clarisse in PJO not being a girl/being manly because she's violent and rough around the edges)! What we got instead was a story that carries the deeply unfortunate implication that girls who don't care about their appearance are kinder and more desirable than girls who do.

It's not Piper that's the problem; it's the narrative. I think a lot of people have been conflating the two, and have been unfairly pinning the blame onto Piper's characterisation when the fault lies with the plot, and with Drew's characterisation as a flat two-dimensional mean girl stereotype. I think if Drew had been given a redemption arc like Clarisse, or some amount of depth that explains why she hates Silena and acts the way she does, or even if she and Piper had learned to respect each other despite their differences, then we would be having a very different conversation.

[multi-fandom-imagines8]

What We Could’ve Been

Part 1

Summary: You are Rhysand’s younger sister and have been tasked with dealing with Eris. The two of you have a complicated, teasing relationship, with banter and attraction, but how will it end?

WC: 1.7 K

You can read part 2 here. Fictober Challenge

You were well-versed in the art of negotiation, your presence as formidable as your brother's. Today, however, you faced the infuriating son of the Autumn Lord, Eris Vanserra. No one from the Inner Circle liked him, nor did they want to deal with him, and the feeling was mutual. While he respected Rhysand and they were somewhat allies but still, their relationship was always tense. However, there was one person he seemed to tolerate- you. Having more patience than the rest, you had agreed to mediate between the two.

This time, you had bad news to deliver. The missing Autumn Court soldiers had been found and killed by Azriel and Cassian, with only two survivors. Now, you had to explain to Eris why and ask him to come fetch his soldiers.

You had winnowed to the Spring Court forest to meet, but of course, he made you wait.

“You’re late, Vanserra” you muttered, filing your nails, not sparing him a glance as he winnowed in.

“Some of us actually have important matters to handle.”

“And I don’t?”

He smirked, cocking an eyebrow “I’m probably the most important thing you’ll ever handle.”

You scoffed “you think very highly of yourself. I’m only here because no one else wants to deal with your ass, and I’m the only one with patience for it”.

“So what’s the news, sweetheart?” He asked with a condescending grin as he leaned against a tree.

You sighed “You want the bad news first or the good one?”

“Bad, always.”

You locked eyes with him, your voice softening as you delivered the blow “Most of your soldiers are dead.”

The grin vanished from his face “And the good news?”

“Two survived”.

His jaw clenched “Let me guess, it was the brute bastards’ doing, wasn’t it?”

Your expression hardened “If you’re going to insult my friends then I’m leaving.”

“So they kill my soldiers, and I’m not even allowed to say a bad word about them?” his voice dropped, cold and furious.

“It was in self defense. They were enchanted by Queen Briallyn and Koschei, acting like rabid dogs” You explained, keeping your voice steady.

His eyes flickered with restrained anger “And the ones that survived? Were they tortured by your ‘not brute’ bastard of a friend?”

You sighed deeply, your patience thinning “Look, I’m sorry about your soldiers, but there’s nothing that can be done about it now.”

Just as Eris opened his mouth to retort, you glanced behind him, your eyes widening in alarm. Eris turned, his own instincts flaring as Tamlin emerged, claws all out. Eris tensed, ready to fight him, but you stepped forward, placing your hand on his arm.

“We were just leaving. We want no trouble” you said quickly, your voice calm but firm.

“You wouldn’t have trespassed on my lands if you wanted no trouble” Tamlin growled, stalking closer. Eris stepped in front of you this time, his body shielding yours.

“You don’t bother ruling anymore, so we thought it’d be alright to be in the forest” Eris sneered, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Tamlin’s eyes narrowed “So not only are you trespassing, but you dare insult me?”

“Y/n, go” Eris ordered, his voice tight with tension.

You hesitated. “Now!” he commanded, his eyes flickering back to you with urgency, and so you winnowed out, leaving them behind.

After you got home safely, you paced your room, thinking of what to do next. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t worried about Eris, despite how infuriating he was. You informed Rhys and the others of what happened, and your brother promised to look into it. But as the evening passed, anxiety gnawed at you. Once you went back to your apartment in the city and were about to change into more comfortable clothes, a voice startled you “Were you worried about me?” Even without seeing him, you knew the bastard was smirking.

You flicked the light on and turned to find him lounging in your chair, his posture lazy, but his eyes sharp “What the hell are you doing here, Vanserra?”

“Oh, ‘Hey Eris, I’m glad you’re alive and thank you for saving my life’” he mocked, mimicking your voice with a dramatic wave of his hand.

You crossed your arms “I could’ve handled Tamlin. I didn’t want to start another war with everything that’s going on. I hope you didn’t either.”

“Ah, don’t worry. We had a friendly chat.”

Your eyes narrowed suspiciously “What did you do to him, Vanserra?”

“Nothing, I promise. He’s alive” He raised his hands in mock surrender, his expression one of fake innocence.

“Why are you here?” you asked, tired of the games.

“Our friendly chat was interrupted” he said casually, standing up from the chair with a slow grace.

“I believe I conveyed the message. If you’re here to pick up your soldiers, you’re talking to the wrong sibling.”

His lips twitched “Where is your sense of hospitality, sweetheart?”

“I only ever invite my friends over.”

He placed a hand over his chest dramatically “You wound me.” Then, his expression shifted back to serious “Just bring the soldiers to the Autumn Court border tomorrow, I’ll meet you there. And come alone” he strode past you slowly, letting his fingers brush against yours as he took in the scent of your hair.

—-

“You’re late, sweetheart” Eris drawled, sharpening his knife, not meeting your eyes.

“Had to keep you on your toes” you replied, handing over the two soldiers. He finally looked up at you. A smile involuntarily tugged at his lips, but it vanished quickly as you said “Our work here is done. See you at the next sign of trouble.”

He hesitated before speaking “Wait… do you want to come over for tea?”

Your brow arched in surprise “Over as in your place? The two of us? Drinking tea? Together?”

“Yes” he replied, confusion flickering in his eyes “It’s just tea.”

“It’s never just tea with you” you crossed your arms, trying to decrypt what his intention was.

He sighed, his frustration seeping through “Never mind, just forget it.” He shook his head, the cold, indifferent mask slipping back on.

He was just trying to be friendly- nice, since you had always seen him as a heartless villain. But in reality, this was just a mask you could hide behind instead of facing your true feelings.

“Right. I’ll see you around, Vanserra. Just don’t cause trouble.”

His smirk returned, insufferable as ever “I’ll try.”

—

Months had passed since you last saw Eris, but finally he’d attend the Winter Solstice ball.

He had been formal all evening, offering polite congratulations to Rhys and Feyre on their baby news. He hadn’t even glanced your way, until now.

“May I?” Eris extended his hand, asking you to dance. You had remained formal as well and nodded slightly, accepting his offer and taking his adm.

And there it was, his devilish smirk slowly returning as he led you to the floor.

“I see you managed to remain formal this evening” you remarked.

“And when am I not, sweetheart?” he asked, his smirk deepening.

“Every time I’m dealing with you” you shot back, tilting your head to see his reaction.

“Ah! That.”

You narrowed your eyes slightly “What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means that you’re the only person I’m not formal with” he admitted just as the music began. Slowly, he slid his arm from your grasp, and with a subtle pull, he drew you in closer. In one fluid motion, you found yourself face to face with him, his hand resting firmly at your waist, the warmth of his touch lingering through the fabric. He took your other hand and intertwined it with his.

You swallowed hardly as your eyes met his. This was the first time the two of you got this close. You wanted to ask why, but in your heart you already knew. And if he said it out loud, you weren’t sure how you’d handle it. So instead, you changed the subject “How are your men?”

He was silent for a moment as the both of you swayed. His gaze lingered on you a little longer than usual, then he let out a small hum of amusement, aware of your attempt to steer the conversation in a different direction. “My men are fine. How are your brute friends?” The truth is he didn't care in the slightest. But if you were going down that route, then he would follow.

“Hmm. You asking about Az and Cas? That’s weird. Are you sure you’re not ill or something?” you teased with a smirk appearing on your face.

“Quit the games, Y/n” he said, his voice steady, confident.

“And what would you rather have me do?” You asked and he twirled you around effortlessly before pulling you back in closer than before. The way he had so much control over your body.

Leaning in, his voice dropped to a slow, nonchalant drawl, his tone cool and unbothered “l’d have plenty of things for you to do.”

His words sent a shiver down your spine, but you managed to stay composed. You slightly pulled back to look him in the eyes “Now who’s playing games?”

“I’m not” he replied, his tone sincere. You searched his eyes for a hint of deception, but you found none. Shit, this had thrown you off guard. You had no quick retort, nothing clever to say. You had to think of something, and quickly.

Desperate for an out, you blurted “We’re having a family breakfast tomorrow. You should come” as soon as the words came out of your mouth, you regretted them. What the hell were you thinking inviting him to breakfast with Rhys and the Inner Circle? They all hate him and would demand an explanation as to why Eris was even invited. “As an ally…of course. You could…solidify your relationship…partnership? with my brother…a-and the rest… I guess?” instead of making the situation better, you just kept on babbling and made it even worse. You winced internally at how dumb you sounded.

“I don’t think I’d be welcome” he paused for a moment, studying you. Of course he knew you didn’t mean it when you invited him, but the bastard couldn’t miss an opportunity like that. You could see the amusement in his eyes as he continued “But since you asked so nicely, I’ll be there” he grinned wickedly.

That fucker! He had you in a chokehold. There was nothing you could do, there was no way out now…unless you wanted to admit defeat.

[its-time-to-write]

AH I've been waiting for requests to be open! i love love loveeee your writing!! I've been in dire need (if you feel like writing it lol) of reader comforting jamie after the locker room scene w his dad at wembley.. like maybe instead of roy hugging him the reader swoops in? you do you! thanks!! <3

Listened to 17 Pushing 24 by Sabrina Sterling while writing this. Highly recommend ✌️🥲

i know what i’m doing

Sometimes Jamie wonders if you two are attracted to each other due to your compelling need to take care of everything. 

It certainly was difficult at first, both of you with residual issues due to your upbringing. His as the only son of a single mother, yours as the oldest daughter of a large family. 

Those types of child-caretakers aren’t always compatible. Jamie’s much more lighthearted about the way he tries to control everything, and you’re more serious.

You’d think it would be easier, both of you taking care of each other, except for the small fact that neither of you were capable of accepting help from the other. 

It came to a head one evening when Jamie came home to you crying in the laundry room, overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the tasks you had yet to complete before going to bed. 

“Love, I can help you,” Jamie had said.

“No! It’s my laundry and my responsibility and you already have enough to do without me burdening you even more,” you replied before dissolving into more tears. 

So yeah, it was a whole thing. It involved therapy and everything.

But you’re moving past it. You’re both getting to a point where each of you can receive the same love that you’re giving, however strange it may feel. Jamie even let you stay home from work to take care of him when he was sick a couple weeks ago, something that was pretty much unheard of up to this point.

You’re channeling the need to control things in healthy ways, like having all of AFC Richmond over to Jamie’s giant house for potluck-style family dinners. Or hosting non-video game nights, where FIFA is strictly banned as a form of entertainment. Or themed outings where everyone had to dress as something that shared the first letter of their name and then go see a movie at the local theater. 

Stuff like that. 

You’re the brains, Jamie is the execution. You can see Isaac side-eyeing him a couple times, making mental notes about temporary captains in the event that he can’t play a match. 

Jamie’s gone from Richmond’s resident prick to Richmond’s resident morale-booster.

He comes home one evening with brighter eyes than normal.

“Babe,” he calls before he’s even in the door, “Coach said I can go back to being a prick again.”

“Ted said that?” you ask from your spot on the couch. You’re laying down length-wise with your legs dangling off the end.

“Fuck no,” Jamie replies, “Roy.”

“Oh,” you say as Jamie plops his bags down. You sit up a little so he can have a spot on the couch. He pats his lap so you lay back down, head on his thigh.

“Roy said that Ted fucked me up, so ‘when it’s appropriate’” (he uses air quotes) “I can be a prick to the other team.”

“That’s nice, babe,” you say, “but how do you know when to do that?”

Jamie shrugs. “Coach said he’d give me a signal. Don’t know what it is, though.”

You say, “hm,” then lapse into comfortable silence, Jamie’s hand running through your hair.

—

The prick signal worked so much better than you could have thought. It’s the best. You see Jamie go from playing defensively to being completely offensive, screwing with the other team’s heads. You scream and clap as he scores, while Keeley practically throttles you with joy.

Now it’s late after the game, and the lads are all over at Jamie’s. They’re absolutely exhausted, but buzzing with energy. It isn’t until about 1am that they disperse to the various guest bedrooms and pass out on top of each other. You catch a glimpse of Dani cuddling Jan Maas who’s asleep in a starfish position as Colin sneaks in to draw on their faces with sharpie. 

“Don’t tell anyone it was me,” he whispers. You zip your lips and head to the master bedroom and pretty much fall onto the right side of the bed.

Jamie comes in shortly after, saying something about Isaac telling a bedtime story. He burrows under the covers and you quietly shriek because he’s placed his ice-cold hands on your ribcage.

“How are you so cold?” you whisper.

Jamie shrugs sleepily. “Dunno,” he whispers back. “Got ice in my veins, I guess.”

You smile. “You’re tired, aren’t you babe?”

Jamie shakes his head and stifles a yawn. “Nah, ain’t tired. Thinkin’ about our match against Man City.”

He says it casually. Too casually.

You see, both you and Jamie have this thing where the more nonchalantly you say something, the more important it is.

You prop yourself up a bit so you can face him and scratch his head. He sighs and leans in.

“You nervous?” you ask.

Jamie shakes his head. “Not to see the team. Lookin’ forward to seeing Pep. It’s just…” he trails off.

You whisper, “Yeah. I know. Whatever happens, I’m here. Don’t forget that. I’m here no matter what.”

Jamie says, “hm,” and then he’s asleep.

—

You’re running. 

You’re running faster than any of the boys on the pitch had run the entire match, and you’re pushing past people in a way that Keeley would later describe as “absolutely fucking feral.”

It happened like this:

The game was over. Richmond lost to Man City.

You were on your way to see Jamie and the rest of the team.

You were, maybe, three floors away? when Rebecca got a text from Ted, showed it to you, and before you knew it you were flying down to the guest locker room to find Jamie.

Of course his dick father would show up to make this day worse. Of course he would.

You’re ducking under security and pushing your way to the locker room in a flurry of motion, then immediately stop.

It’s silent, absolutely silent. 

And so still.

No one moves a muscle as your eyes land on Jamie, clinging to Roy like he’s a lifeline. Roy. Roy Kent, self-proclaimed Jamie-hater and staunch advocate against physical touch.

Jamie’s eyes are squeezed shut, but they flutter open at the sound of your tentative footsteps. He lets go of Roy for a moment, but only so that you can grab him in the next.

“Right,” says Roy, “Everybody get the fuck out!”

There are no complaints as the lads hurriedly grab their bags and exit the locker room.

Roy nods in your direction before leaving, and Beard mouths, “take your time.” You’re not sure where Ted’s gone off to.

Jamie feels like he’s going to collapse if he stands any longer, crushing you in the strongest grip you’ve ever felt.

“Oi,” you say gently, “let’s sit down, yeah? You don’t have to let go.”

So now you’re on the bench in Jamie’s lap, scratching his head in the way he likes, waiting for him to break the silence.

“Fucking stupid,” he says, voice muffled.

You ask, “What?” because surely that can’t be what he just said.

“I said it’s fucking stupid,” Jamie says, refusing to meet your eyes. “I’m a fucking adult. Don’t need to be crying about stupid shit, especially not in front of the lads.”

“Oh, right,” you say before you can stop yourself, “because crying after your dick father tried to swing at you when you set boundaries for the first time ever is a completely unreasonable response.”

Jamie is still in your arms and you cringe. Curse your stupid, logical tongue.

Jamie finally says, “Didn’t think about it like that.” He sighs. “It’s just fuckin’ embarrassing, innit? Him showing up here like that. Didn’t need the lads seeing that.”

You kiss his forehead. 

“The only person it’s embarrassing for is him. Not you. You’re absolutely fine, Jaim. If anything, the boys are going to look at you better for finally understanding the shit you had to grow up with.”

Jamie nods, but you’re not sure if he believes you.

“Jamie,” you say firmly, “It’s not your fault. You handled it the best way it could have been handled. You did a great job.”

Those words seem to do something to Jamie, and his face takes on an expression you’ve never seen before

He asks, “You think so?” in such a forlorn manner than you have the sudden urge to find James Tartt and kick him in the balls with steel-toed shoes. You briefly wonder if Roy and Beard would like to join you.

“Yes,” you reply forcefully, “Yes Jamie. You did a wonderful job in a shitty situation and I’m very, very proud of you.”

Jamie doesn’t reply, just holds you tighter if that’s even possible. He takes a deep shuddering breath, but it’s the first real one he’s taken this entire time. 

“I told you I’m here no matter what,” you say. “Just like all the times you’ve been here for me. Now I’m here for you.”

[fangsforiris]

The sakamaki brothers' reaction if ayato and laito started to argue and it gets worse until ayato started to mock laito for what he and cordelia did and laito ended up slaping him.

Sakamaki’s Reaction to Ayato and Laito's Heated Argument

— — — — — — — — — —

Shū (Ririe):

“… He actually went there? Heeh… this will be something…”

▰ At first, he’d stay quiet, unsure of what’s to come. Once it happens… it happens.

▰ Realistically, Shū wouldn’t intervene. This isn’t his problem, nor his mother.

▰ However he will be taken aback that Ayato went to such an extreme.

▰ Especially since the two are the closest out of the brothers.

▰ He’d leave it to Reiji to clear it up. But if he felt as if he had the energy, he’d send a familiar to Laito’s room to give him some of those macarons he likes, or to simply check on him.

Reiji:

“You two, cease this at once! Not only is this highly inappropriate, but also distasteful to all who listens. Apologize, now.”

▰ As the normal voice of reason, even he’d be stunned.

▰ After all, what was he supposed to do? This wasn’t his dillema, nor his trauma.

▰ However, since he does have some sort of maternal instincts towards the brothers, he would be shocked they’d use each-other’s trauma to hurt one another.

▰ This feels like the one thing that was always off limits, so he’d put a stop to it before it escalated into something much larger.

▰ With his own personal experiences with Cordelia and her attraction towards him, he’d take a minute to think if that’s what Shū thought of him, seeing as it wasn’t his fault, and nor did he invite it.

Ayato:

“Y-you… You hit me! You’re just… Tch, whatever…”

▰ I’d assume that whatever the argument was, it had to be large enough to cause Ayato to snap back in such a way.

▰ It isn’t like his character to attack Laito on their shared past, but more so Laito’s trauma.

▰ Especially since he felt immensely guilty for not being able to do more for Laito, and in turn, help him.

Kanato:

“You two… You two can’t… This is not right…”

▰ Since Kanato also holds guilt for knowing what happened to Laito, but not saying anything to help him, like Ayato, he would be star struck here.

▰ As in, a loss for words.

▰ After all, even he wouldn’t go as far as to bring it up. Not when his guilt overrides it.

▰ Since they both are his blood siblings, he’d try his best to deescalate the situation. But with his own traumas and mental fragility, I don’t see him doing much to help.

▰ He’d bring Laito something to cool down, like sweets and treats he may like. But for Ayato he’d leave it at that and hope it all goes away.

Laito:

“You had no right… none at all… to say that! You don’t know anything. So just pretend to not see, just like last time.”

▰ He’s be hurt. Scratch that, upset.

▰ It’s like his entire facade cracked in an instant. The one he’d so carefully curated over the years to cope with what’s been done to him.

▰ And for Ayato, his closest brother, to make fun of it? That was like applying salt in the wound.

▰ He’d get incredibly defensive, and quick too. Think of his reaction in the Shū VS Laito CD, when Shū called him out on his persona and facade.

Subaru:

“I… What the fuck…?”

▰ Subaru would just be off to the corner and in shock.

▰ I mean, didn’t Cordelia affect all of them? So why would Ayato do that..?

▰ He wouldn’t intervene, he knows his place and wouldn’t get into something that doesn’t concern him, lest he becomes the new target.

▰ But since he does have a bit of morality, he’d feel bad for Laito, and perhaps disappointed that Ayato would entertain it.

▰ He wouldn’t do anything, but if he needed to, he would deescalate the situation by prying the two off each other. Maybe afterwards, he’d sneak a bouquet of white roses to Laito’s room. Just maybe.

[hyperfixingfr]

We joke that Wally is stupid, but in his defense, he isn't truly an idiot. He's pretty average for a kid his age if you can get past his writing and math problems, which are 100% disability related anyways. He's not a nuthead and he clearly has some intellectual aspects that he'll show if he's not too pissed to be smart... Hoagie isn't exactly "occasionally stupid", either, because any of his mischief or "stupidity" is purely done out of the fun of knowing he's doing something wrong, otherwise he genuinely doesn't know because he's a kid, or he genuinely doesn't know because he's autistic (see "I'm right here!" when someone uses "number 1/2" toilet slang, which is an ex of taking too literally). The two pretty much have the same general interaction with the world. It would only make sense that Wally would have to pull on Hoagie's hair sometimes to get him to quiet down or stop doing something that could get them killed, just like he does with Wally in the show, because he's just as impulsive as Wally. Wally is aggressively impulsive while Hoagie is curiously impulsive, but in the long run it tends to get them into the same general problems with others. The reason why one ends up pulling the other's ear each time is because of that whole "opposites attract" thing. The things Hoagie wants to do out of curiosity are the things Wally goes, "woah, don't do that, are you crazy?!" for, and vise versa. I feel like we got so much of Wally having to be pulled out of the store by Hoagie like a dog on a leash that we forgot that it probably happens in the opposite way. Also, they're kids. Impulsively doing stupid shit is the fun of childhood. It's not them who are stupid, it's just the stuff they do. They know better more often than not, they *choose* to go against it. Choosing to go against it is hardly a sign of intelligence. If it was, most of the people we call geniuses are now stupid, apparently. I call them stupid purely for jokes. But let's be real, they're kind of average... For autistic kids at least. Some would say Hoagie is pretty smart for knowing the things he does, but 90% of us are pretty sure that he knows it because he's autistic with a Sp/In and not because "he's smart". If you tried to make him do general history he'd blow raspberries at you and say "I don't care what happened in the past, what does it gotta do with me?". I do believe the two of them become smart, but as children they're just smart in very specific areas that they refuse to leave, and are otherwise mediocre at best. The only reason Hoagie gets credit while Wally doesn't is because his specific area happens to be mechanics, engineering, and aerodynamics, which is highly regarded to be skills of an intellectual. In the grand scheme of things, that is the only thing Hoagie knows (or cares) about. He couldn't care less about anything that can't fit into what he likes. Not an idiot, just an autistic child. Both of them. They become smart when they finally find a way to enjoy all kinds of information despite being about other stuff...

[lucyav13]

Mr. L

He is a major antagonist and eventually becomes the game's final boss, Super Dimentio by fusing with Dimentio and the Chaos Heart. Before turning evil, Luigi tries to stop Count Bleck from using the Chaos Heart; however, after being trapped in Castle Bleck, Luigi gets brainwashed by Nastasia, ultimately turning him into Mr. L.

Mr. L is very cocky and is always praising up himself, a stark contrast to the chicken-hearted, reluctantly brave Luigi. He thinks highly of himself and is not slow to reveal it, often trying to openly annoy other in-game characters. He has a belief in his often-boasted-of abilities, as he is very shocked at his failures as their series begins. He is very daring, and as such reveals an attraction to Princess Peach and jealousy of Mario's jumping ability. (But if he jumps better than Mario)

Mr. L has two catchphrases: "L-ater," which he continuously proclaims when exiting , and "Have at you!", his battle cry.

He also has a knack for nicknaming, referring to Mario as "Mr. Jumpsallthetime," Peach as "Ms. Alwaysgetskidnapped," or Bowser as "Mr. Getsfoiledallthetimebytheredguywiththemoustache" during their first confrontation; this may imply that he still retains some of his memory from when he was Luigi, as he subconsciously recognizes who Mario, Peach, and Bowser are. He also nicknames himself "the Green Thunder".

However, Mr. L has some skills that Luigi does not, or merely has not yet shown, namely his inventiveness. Though Luigi has been known that he used his abilities in previous games, his mechanical skills haven't been consistently shown to match that of Mr. L. Mr. L has the intelligence to build, upgrade, and pilot his own robot, which he calls Brobot, throughout the course of the story pioneering the art he refers to as brobotics.

Mr. L strongly resembles Luigi, though he is dressed in a black jumpsuit that strangely retains his former overalls' large buttons. He also wears a green bandana around his neck. His cap has a black background and reversed "L" instead of the normal white background and normal "L". Over his face is a black mask which seems to effectively hide his identity; this mask makes his eyes and eyebrows appear white. His gloves and shoes are dark gray. Mr. L, unlike standard Luigi, is shown to have a belt.

It is implied several times that Luigi is the "man in green", referenced in both the Light Prognosticus and the Dark Prognosticus. Both of these two books state that this man in green and his affiliations will determine which prophecy is true. As such, it can be taken that, if Luigi were to have stayed Mr. L throughout the course of the game, the Dark Prognosticus would have been fulfilled and all worlds would be destroyed, making the end of Luigi's hypnotizing and evil ways integral to Super Paper Mario. Dimentio additionally states that the Dark Prognosticus mentions Luigi as the ideal host for the Chaos Heart.

In the final battle, with help from Count Bleck and his minions, the heroes are able to summon the to destroy Dimentio and the Chaos Heart, bring back Luigi and finally erasing his hypnosis and brainwashing.

Additional information:

Catch card:

HP Max: 40

Attack: 3

Defense:

Score: 200

Card description: So...who's this mysterious Mr. L character? Is this what the Prognosticus foretold?

Tattle: That's Mr. L. This new hire of Count Bleck's a real mystery man... Max HP is 40. Attack is 3. He uses his high jump as a weapon... And that powered-up super jump is quite...super... He has no other outstanding features of note. And why does he remind me so much of Mario...?

Quotes:

"Oh, me? Just one of Count Bleck's more promising minions. The Green Thunder... MR. L!"

"Just because you're in red doesn't mean you're strong. Have at you!"

"Ooh, the evil king of all charlatans! Do I look scared? Have at you!"

"No one's coming to save you this time, dearest princess! Have at you!"

"Hey, Mr. Jumpsallthetime! NOW we'll see who's the better jumper!"

"Hey, Mr. Getsfoiledallthetimebytheredguywiththemustache! I'll foil your FACE!"

"Hey, Ms. Pink n' Frilly! Try not to get kidnapped before I defeat you! Have at you!"

"Hey, Ms. Alwayskidnapped! I'll kidnap your FACE!"

"I uh... got to go deflavorize the Brobot's uh... Flavorizer."

"Hey there, butterball!"

"Hey, King Incompetent! I'm gonna hatch an evil plan on your FACE! Have at you!"

"I was just scouting him, dear. Next time, he will be mine!"

"But Brobot craves his daily smash! I can't just loiter here! There's no action!"

"L-ater!" - Mr. L

"Looks like your Pure Heart thing got broken. I guess Pure Hearts can't handle the end of the world. Heh. Whatever, I'll swipe it just for kicks."

"Meet my new friend... BROBOT L-TYPE!"

"Not a funny joke, Dimentio... If I wanted to laugh, your face is inspiration enough!"

"Dimentio... No..."

Fun facts about him:

Mr. L's mustache as black whereas Luigi's artwork gives him a brown mustache. In game, however, both forms' mustaches are brown.

Mr. L shares many similarities with Lord Crump from Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door, in that both of them are arrogant underlings of their games' primary antagonists, both command massive mechanical creations as well as updated versions of them, and both of them don disguises that are fairly easy to see through by the player, so much so that Mario's partners often lampshade it.

Mr. L's self-given nickname could be a reference to Luigi's Thunderhand ability from Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga.

Shadoo's first form (Dark Luigi) looks identical to Mr. L instead of normal Luigi.

(A/N): I don't have any theories about him, although of course I would accept some suggestions =)

[moltengoldveins]

hm yes emduo and bedrock bros and the eggs in Space. Phil is one of the last surviving members of a fragile but technically immortal species of elytrians that is now only whispered about in fairy tales. He’s a private investigator and enforcer (space pirate and muscle) for his beloved wife’s galaxy-wide uhhh….. Independent illegal group of people dedicated to protecting order and monitoring corruption? Gang of space pirates who steal from rich people? League of assassins but with morals? Unclear what the Syndicate Is Exactly but it sure do Be. He’s the pilot for the SBI Boreas, a light cruiser with a frankly Absurd munitions outfit. (Tubbo’s his mechanic) 

Techno is a member of the only recognized sentient deathworlder species, an odd mix of orc, elf, and pig features, and is by all accounts a living legend, or a living nightmare. He’s solidly twice the size of most other species, capable of surviving injuries what most would deem a death sentence, and a highly trained warrior to boot. Now, by all human accounts the texts of his people are pretty self-explanatory, (the Art of War is 89% Common Sense by volume) but in a galaxy of peaceful races on peaceful planets, it’s complex and brutal enough to be nigh-incomprehensible. He’s on a Lot of watchlists, but he’s also the like… platonic third partner in Phil and Madam Kristin, The Lady Of Death TM’s marriage??? So not a lot can be Done about him. 

Tommy is a younger avian teen (distant relation to the elytrians, definitely Not Immortal) who Techno found breaking into the Boreas and decided to keep (Phil took one look and his Dad Instincts kicked in) and his life is going swimmingly until he gets Yoinked for leverage against his dads and mum. The organization who gets him runs a blood sport colosseum, and while in transit his cage was stuck next to this weird hairless thing?? Chained with like Heavy Duty restraints. Tommy doesn’t have a ton of time to bond with this Strange Thing before the hostage negotiations happen, but they do manage to exchange names and Tommy decides with his classic impulsive passion that This Thing And He Are Brothers For Life Now. then the negotiations immediately go south, there’s a bit of a standoff, and Techno ends up trading himself for Tommy, which is what the organization wanted in the first place. They run a Reeeeally expensive exotic show for super Rich Jerks in an undisclosed location and Techno is their latest attraction. They’re also painfully cocky, and will be dying with extreme prejudice the moment Mumza gets her claws in them. 

So Techno gets Got and shoved in a high-security cell once they reach the colosseum, along with, surprise! This strange hairless creature with four limbs. It’s Chayanne, who is A Very Human Teenager who Did Not Want To Be Abducted By Aliens, Thank You. They’re both deathworlders, which Techno Does Not Realize until they get assigned to the same team a few weeks into the battles and watches Chay rip a bug man’s limbs off (Chay is Not having a good day. His dad (Missa) taught him self defense and was a martial artist, a butcher, and a rather morbid man, so some Relevant Knowledge and some general chillness around death is to be expected, but Not a chillness around KILLING PEOPLE FOR SPORT) Techno thinks this must be a fully grown adult whatever-it-is all the way until Chay breaks down crying and sounds Just Like a shoat (baby pig) and Techno feels the Dad Instinct rising again. 

Meanwhile, Halfway Across The Galaxy: the government has been developing space flight, but are really only at the borders of our solar system when they catch some aliens in the act of Yoinking another kid, this time from an orphanage (Tallula) they don’t manage to save her, but Holy Crap ALIENS???? Missa, who saw a bit of his son’s abduction but not enough to know exactly what happened, sees the news broadcast, puts two and two together and gets plot advancement. He starts pulling strings, asking about old connections in the space force (Cosmonaut Fit Emsi, godfather to Chayanne and Missa’s college best friend, may or may not be involved in the Turning Of Blind Eyes) and manages to get access to a hanger bay with a captured alien ship in it a few months after the incident in what might be the coolest heist sequence ever not-actually-written. (It’s very cool in my head, think Oceans 11 but the majority of the qsmp cast, trust me I swear.) He launches himself right into space and proceeds to systematically work his way through spaceport after waystation after colony planet in search of The Aliens Who Steal Human Kids (Specifically My Son) 

Techno is at this point playing the long game. He knows Kristin and Phil aren’t about to leave him hanging, and that they have enough firepower to burn this place to the ground, but he’s not sure when that’s gonna happen or how he’s gonna get Chay out. Meanwhile, Chay has No Idea what this strange Exceedingly Chill Pig Man has going on, but as far as he’s concerned, this is his life now. Forever. And making allies is important. They start trading languages and Techno starts teaching Chay katas (modified for the drastically different joint structure) in their free “big open space enrichment time.” (Side note: what aliens consider almost horrific cruel and unusual punishment is at worst severely unpleasant for humans. They just can’t take psychologically what humans can, so they kinda Have to treat their slaves better than we would. Doesn’t mean it’s good treatment, but it does mean Chay and Techno are both doing significantly better than they could be.)

Finally, Phil and Kristen rock up to the party incognito, dressed to the nines and attending a Big Event To Show Off Our New Deathworlders. They see Techno in the ring and have to Play It Cool, but he seems to be doing ok actually, so that’s good. Eventually the Head Honcho Man gets into a discussion with Phil right by the viewing window, so Phil has to pretend he’s fine when he sees a door open in the arena and A @:&;!ING HUMAN STEP OUT AND SQUARE OFF WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. (Shockingly, being immortal tends to inform you of such things like Secret Deathworlds and their Scary Inhabitants) Kristin is of course Immediately On The Move, but it turns out to be not necessary: Chay just kinda strolls up to Techno and gives him a side hug (bLEASE, you want me to fight my Roommate? Get out) and while Phil is laughing to himself, the Head Honcho gets maaaaad. He pulls it around though, announcing that he “already knew the two monsters had bonded the way only such vicious creatures could, and will be giving them a challenge only they could hope to face!!” And releases, like, four of the heccin Dune sand worms into the arena. Techno and Chay proceed to fight like demons while Phil and his squad take out the party and Kristen and her squad sweep the lower levels of the colosseum in an effort to keep More Worms out of the arena. Slavers die horribly. The end. 

Meanwhile, halfway across the galaxy: Missa returns!! Now with Even More Rage! His ship has broken down and because he ain’t got no Space Green Card, he’s got to get it repaired at a place that’ll take anyone. Enter Tubbo Underscore, Syndicate Member and Tinkerer Extraordinaire. Tubbo takes one look at this guy and goes “yeah that’s not a normal guy there’s something Wrong here” and through a series of pointed questions (and aggressive preening by Benson, a rather horrifying eldritch duck-dog thing the size of a small horse) Missa eventually explains why he’s in space. Tubbo, having just recently repaired Philza H Minecraft’s ship on its way to wipe out a gladiator ring, puts two and two together to make more plot, explains his Theory, and decides to accompany Missa, getting them into the next Syndicate raid on this organization. They, along with an undercover agent by the code name of Boo (It’s a word in Old Enderian that means ‘Eldritch’ or ‘Unknowable.’ Missa has to choke to keep from laughing) storm a freighter and rescue a bunch of valuable slaves and also!! Sunny and Tallulah! They have different first languages, Sunny was treated Significantly Cushier by the slavers than Lulah bc she was younger and viewed a bit more like a pet than a fighter, and they haven’t really spoken to one another before the rescue, so their rough start happens at this point. Cue Missa and Tubbo # Struggling to keep these two feral children from each others throats while they keep searching (‘Chay was literally never this bloodthirsty, the heck???’ -Missa, holding two backpack leashes apart while the girls are trying to strangle each other) 

Meanwhile on the Boreas: CHAY AND TOMMY REUNION POG???? Techno formally adopts Chay according to his culture (think Mandalorian, but to the left) and Chay has enough language to understand, but not enough to inquire about, yknow, whether Going Back To Earth is an option. As far as the Boreas crew know, it isn’t: Earth is a no-fly zone and Chay’s been out here for nearly a year and a half. They have no idea how they’d begin to get him home. 

Then finally, on a Syndicate-owned spaceport in the middle of nowhere, Missa finds the Boreas and sees his kid across a crowded bazaar. They hug, it’s super dramatic, very tearful, (Phil and Kristen are already planning his room on the ship: if they’re gonna coparent, they’re gonna do it Right) and after a bit of waffling, both Chay and Missa decide it’s for the best if they spend some time in space before heading back to earth, what with the whole “definitely stole a star fighter and wanted by the government, the entire world knows about aliens now” bit. There is fluff. There is cultural sharing. There is hair braiding. It’s amazing. 

Then comes my literal favorite space au trope Ever: a few days into the new and improved Boreas gang’s voyage, their ship is boarded by (shock, horror) a group of Human Pirates and the crew is Immediately captured. Turns out: it’s kinda hard to keep the existence of an entire galactic community from Everyone on Earth, and these are guys who, similar to Missa, yoinked a spaceship from their military and went rogue. (I’m putting Quackity here, cause I love charismatic villain Quackity and I think it works) they pirates are very VERY “humans are gonna expand to cover the universe” “might makes right” “come, join us, and together we can rule the galaxy” about it when they realiz Missa and Chay are aboard, and the Boreas crew honestly expects Missa and Chay to join them. They’re human! They speak the same language! They value the same things! Obviously they’re gonna take that way out, we wouldn’t even blame them! (Techno feels pretty betrayed but Phil/Kristen/Tommy just look resigned) Missa and Chay play along, pretend to hate their ‘alien captors,’ and arm themselves “to help them secure the ship.”

What follows is a rather emotionally charged but Very Very Cool sequence in which Missa and Chayanne use the skills they gained in their unfortunate struggles across the galaxy to Clean House, clearing their home the ship room by room until they’ve got a pile of bloodied and unconscious or dead humans and a very very shocked new family. There might be a bit more plot after this as the family settles, perhaps a sequel made of short stories, but this is generally the end.

The epilogue is five years later, when Fit Emsi, head of the new Intergalactic Human Intergalactic Relations Organization and Expansion Section (HIROES) has his monthly checkup call with Missa and Chay, who’re having a blast with Techno and Phil and Tommy traveling the universe. Fit calls them in to consult in cultural stuff during the negotiations with, yknow, the Actual Galactic Government, the one that views the Syndicate as a crime organization, but it’s pretty well known at this point that Mumza is In Charge Of Things on the Downlow, and Fit’s still Chay’s godfather for heavens sake: there’s simply nothing the government can Do about it. Tubbo has adopted Sunny and Chay took one look at Talulah and decided “Thats My Little Sister.” Phil apparently has had a crisis recently related to some kind of ancient evil ex long thought dead, but is on the road to recovery. Everyone lives happily ever after, the end. 

[saintflwrs]

𑁍.*･𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆

…

𝐇𝐄 𝐊𝐍𝐄𝐖 your schedule. You were a routined person, you worked from Mon-Thurs and would come to the gym after your shift. When Friday rolled around you were free so you would workout earlier then usual. No later than noon. The same headphones always sat on your head and the gym bag slung around your shoulder.

He wanted to talk to you but you always had this RBF when working out. You were so pretty ofc he couldn’t help but steal glances and quickly look away when you two would lock eyes.

You were in your own little world that you rarely saw the men that would stare as your ass and make comments about you. It made his jaw clench. He tried to push you out his head but you carried this demeanor that drew him closer and closer.

One day you entered the boxing gym which was a shock because you never once set foot in there. A look of awe was on your face.

“I never knew they had boxing area in here.” You gasped.

“How long you been going to this gym and you ain’t know there was a boxing gym?” somebody mentioned.

“Nigga, ion be exploring.” You barked back and everybody laughed.

He wasn’t the only one that drew closer to you. Everybody in the boxing gym grew to love you. Ever since that day he noticed you coming in there to help. Whether that be changing mats, helping boxers tie their gloves or even just hanging out. Everybody loved the positive energy you brought into such a violent place.

You would occasionally say Hi to him or tell him he was doing a good job but never really had a genuine conversation until one day. He was having a hard time tying his glove, you could see the visible frustration on his face. Suddenly he felt a hand on the glove and looked up.

“Need Help?” You smiled

“That obvious huh?” He mumbled

“Yeah.” You breathily laughed “Heard you got a match coming up.”

“I do, how’d you know?” He raised his eyebrow

“Your coach told me, he also invited me to come. Ima be there.” You said.

You were gonna be there? But you didn’t even know him. The thought made him all the more excited for the event. From that day forward you guys were sort of inseparable, always on FaceTime until midnight. Frequently hanging out to get ice cream when he was supposed to be watching his calories. It was platonic. But you both yearned for more.

I mean you were HIGHLY attracted to him. His physical appearance was the opposite of his shy personality. Tattoos decorated his back forearms and some on his chest and not to mention his body. A six pack and strong biceps made him all the more attractive paired with his dimples that would show when he laughed with you. The nigga was fine, okay?

A week before his match he called you, asking you to come by the boxing gym around 7 pm. He needed your help with defense. You didn’t know much about boxing but he always was quick to ask you to help him. In actuality he just wanted to hear your soothing voice.

You had a few errands to run that day but when you finished you went right to the gym. Your heels echoed as your feet stepped onto the stone floor in the gym. The sound alerted him, causing him to turn his head towards you a smile immediately forming on his face.

“Hey..” He greeted, slightly out of breath.

“What’s up?” You asked as he stepped out of the ring walking towards you. His hair was dripping from sweat and his shirt was off, displaying his tattoos. “I know you didn’t call me over here this late just to work on defense.” You crossed your arms batting your lashes up at him.

“And I know you didn’t come here in that jean skirt for nothing.” He teased.

“I was doing shit before I came here.” You scoffed.

“Yeah I bet you were.” He inched closer to you, eyes trailing lower and lower.

“They should let me in the ring with you, I could beat you.” You joked.

“Yeah? you think you could take me?” His voice dropped. You playfully punched his stomach before replying.

“Yeah I—“ You paused for a second, it clicked in your head what he was getting at and it made your heart beat faster.

He softly grabbed your wrists and pulled you closer to his chest. His hand rested on your cheek, eyes scanning yours as if he was indirectly asking to kiss you. When you nodded, his lips crashed onto yours in complete hunger and desperation. He gently bit your lip causing you to gasp so he slyly slipped his tongue in your mouth. Your mouths moved together in unison begging for more of each other.

His strong arms then picked you up, your legs wrapped around his torso. He stepped towards a room with you still in his arms and placed you on a nearby desk with loads of paperwork that was pushed to the ground to make more space for you.

It was his coach’s office and he knew that but didn’t seem to care.

“We.. shouldn’t Fuck—be.. doing this here..” You moaned out

“I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.” He said while leaving hickeys down your neck.

“What? that we’re fucking on his office desk..” You whined.

He softly chuckled before removing your top and sucking on your tits rolling his middle finger in between your nipple.

“Oh shit..” You sighed while leaning your head back. Your hands tangled in his hair gently pulling on the strands signaling you wanted more.

He swiftly pulled your jean skirt down and spread your legs open. You hissed from the sudden cold air hitting your pretty cunny. It was dripping wet and he made it even wetter by letting a glob of spit drop down onto it.

You bit you lip at the action, he then lined himself up with your gushing pussy. He teased you by rubbing his tip on your hole his precum spreading all over your folds as you loudly whined.

“Please.. Fuck me” You begged, eyes glossed.

“I got you mamí, don’t worry.” He placed a kiss at the corner of your lips before inserting himself into you completely.

You gasped and your nails immediately clawed into his back as he pounded into you hitting just the right spots. The desk shook at his relentless thrusts.

“Mmph~ This pussy feels so good.” He praised “You gon take my dick? Yeah you are. Fuckkkk.” He groaned as he gripped your waist hips snapping into yours.

“Yes~ Oh my god— Right there, Right there” You cried as your eyes rolled back. It felt so fucking good. Everything was so calculated.

“I can’t— Mmm~ It’s too much—“ You croaked out.

“Yes you can mama, your right there. You can do it.” He breathed heavy, dick twitching inside of you but he never slowed down his pace.

Your release was so unexpected, I guess you were so lost in the pleasure that when you coated his dick in your cum you didn’t even realize.

When he saw the white ring begin to form at the base of his cock, he slowed down hitting slow strokes making sure you rode out your high.

“There you go, there it is. Your so pretty.” He cooed. Calloused fingers pushing your hair out of your face.

Shortly after he came inside of you and when he pulled out, his cum rushed out of your gushy cunt. The sight made him hard again. He showered your body in kisses and you giggled and traced your fingertips around his skin.

After a few moments of silence your eyes caught a glimpse of something.

“Oh my god..” You gasped “There’s a camera in here.”

It was facing directly towards you guys the red

light blinked repetitively.

He loudly laughed, dimples showing he didn’t seem to care but you were so embarrassed.

“Relax, coach doesn’t even check the cameras” He reassured you.

“𝐖𝐄 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐈𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆.” 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐄𝐃..

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