#'FUCK YEAH I'M GONNA FUCKING BASH THIS FUCKING BEAT INTO YOUR FUCKING BRAIN'

[sleepdepravity]

i’ve been reminiscing of a different tabletop game i used to be in, so here’s abby abyss and ABBY ABYSS, a drummer who tried to make a deal with the devil but do a trick to allow her not to pay her soul, wound up accidentally ripping her soul in half, spent like a decade in so much pain because her bifurcated soul were straining to combine again while trapped on two different planes of reality, suddenly got her half-soul back but it came back irradiated with hell (hellburned) and now she just is part demon and the demon part has not drummed in a decade.

[bernadettelovestokiohotel]

I just want you for my own.

★ Vinney Fanfic ★

(Finn is 16 and Vance is 17 in this fanfic)

It was friday night,which meant Gwen was having a sleepover at Amy Yamada's house,one of her best friends.Meanwhile,Finney Blake was taking a walk around the town late at night.He would do anything just to get out of the house, especially because he couldn't stand his father.The only time Finney is home is when he's making food for Gwen or tucking her in when it's bedtime.

He walking around the town,not really having a goal of where to go or when to go home.

As expected,he had this weird feeling in his stomach,he always had that feeling when he was walking around at night.

While he was walking,he spotted a group of guys his age fighting.

He ran closer to see the fight,seeing it was one and only,Vance Hopper.

Finney had a massive hallway crush on Vance.Not that he knew him all that well but his looks mesmerized him and left him speechless.

So of course,he stood and watched as Vance practically is bashing the other guy to the ground.

He then squinted his eyes a bit,seeing it was 3 of his bullies that bullied him ever since he stepped into that high school.

"guys,look who it is.Finney the f@g."

Vance turned around,curious who's he talking about.

"I-Im just gonna-"

Finney tried walking it off.

One of the bullies pull him and starts beating him.

Finn was ready,he was used to it.

"DONT TOUCH HIM YOU FILTHY SON OF A BITCH!"

Finn opened his eyes,seeing Vance tackling Finn's bully as he's punching him relentlessly.

The other two jerks run off,scared of Vance's intentions.

After knocking the jerk out,he gets off him and looks at Finney.

"you okay?"

Vance asked.

"wha-"

Before Finn could say anything,Vance takes him in his arms and starts bandaging him.

"oh my fucking god oh my fucking god im on his lap I'm on his lap I'm on his lap"

Finney's brain was FUCKED.

"so,Finney?"

Vance says as he puts a plaster on Finn's ankle.

"y-yeah?"

Finney said,worried.

"Just tell me when they hurt you,I'll teach em a lesson."

Vance said,laughing.

This made Finn giggle a little.

"i know this seems offensive but please don't take it seriously,but why are you nice to me?"

Finney asks,he was kinda surprised that Vance Hopper would be so nice to him.

"Well,im not actually that much a person who hurts people for no reason.I just hurt people who bully others"

Vance replied,in a quite calm tone.

"oh..makes sense."

Finn said,laughing.

"besides,youre literally the sweetest boy in town."

Vance stated.

"h-huh?"

Finn blushes to his ears hearing that.

"every single person i talked to literally thinks you're the sweetest,most polite boy in town."

"oh..I didn't know that"

Finn smiles.

Finn's smile also made Vance smile too.

"well Finney..may i have the pleasure in hanging out with you tonight,on this lovely evening?"

Vance said jokingly.But at the same time he sounded so serious.

Finn laughs and blushes a bit.

"sure!I'd love to!"

Finney said enthusiasticly.

For the rest of the evening,they had an amazing time.They talked for hours,getting to know each other,their likes and dislikes..

"Jeez,Donna was right.Vance is fucking majestic."

Finney thought to himself.

"whatcha thinking about?"

"oh!Nothing!Just uh...me being me..heh."

Finney said nervously.

"you don't have to be nervous.I won't judge"

Vance smiled as he put his arm around Finn's shoulder.

Finney was so Inlove with this man he couldn't handle it himself.

Maybe Robin was wrong,there may be a chance for these two.

PART 2 IS COMING TMRW!!!

[silenthillmutual]

Here's a hot take ask for you 🔥: 5 films you feel are overrated (and maybe 5 underrated films you think deserve their praise instead)

overrated:

Bonnie and Clyde - i had to watch this for a film class as well and just did not understand the appeal of it? maybe it's because i was watching it in the 2010s instead of the 1970s. maybe there's some cultural context i missed that made this feel so fun and romantic to others.

Psycho - i'm not totaly bashing it because i do understand how improtant it was to the genre and all, but i don't think it's hitchcock's best work. and i feel like i have to warn people when we watch it that there's ableism and transmisogyny in it, but the last time i watched it i didn't like it as much as i did Rear Window or Rope or Strangers on a Train.

Giant - i tried watching this when i had my own James Dean Moment(TM) a while back and i just found it boring. i know people feel that way about East of Eden but i cared way more about those characters than i did about the characters in Giant. also it's like three hours long and it's so hard for me to sit through that kind of thing. i even struggle to sit through two hour movies i actually like.

Dirty Dancing - it's been a while since i've seen it so maybe i need to give it another go but i genuinely don't understand how people find it romantic? i have this problem with a lot of romance movies and could say the same about, like, Pretty Woman and You've Got Mail. i tried both of those too and just felt confused.

1900 - yes yes i watched the movie where those two characters look like artemy and daniil. yes i did. it was over three hours long and my adhd brain hated it. so much. my friend dj had to give me a whole list of warnings about it too. i do not understand how letterboxd reviewers are giving this almost four stars. i'm mostly just baffled by this film like it tried to focus on way too many things at once. and the ending, yeah, okay i agree with your politics! but do you have to say them directly to the camera like we're all fucking idiots.

there are so many more i could mention becuase i can be a real Hater when i want to be, but i'll just leave off with ONE honorable mention to Melancholia - the cinematography was nice, i guess, but people really overhyped how difficult this depiction of depression was to watch. yeah, she's depressed, but she's also a rich white girl who had plenty of opportunity to get help. and it also committed the crime of just being boring as shit and wasting all its best shots in the beginning showing you exactly what was going to happen instead of letting us get those nice shots when they actually happened chronologically.

underrated:

i'm not actually sure what counts as underrated because i... do not pay much attention to what is popular? but these are films i don't really see people in my friend circles talk about, so these are more along the lines of 'i'd love to see more people talking about this'

Mandy (2018, dir. Panos Cosmatos) - i actually heard about this on the Dead Meat podcast i think and they had it in our library and i am so glad i checked it out, it was freaking wild! i loved the whole dreamlike vibe of it and the color scheme. i am also, admittedly, a Nic Cage fan, so if you like to see him losing his shit there is one scene where he just flips out. and it's so good.

Attack the Block (2011, dir. Joe Cornish) - i recently rewatched this and found out from holla that there's gonna be a sequel and i am so pumped for that. i think the whole idea was unique because i haven't really seen 'inner city kids beat the shit out of aliens' before. (if that's a subgenre i've been missing out on i guess that's totally possible, i don't tend to watch a lot of alien invasion films).

F for Fake (1973, dir. Oroson Welles) - if you like video essays i definitely recommend checking out F for Fake. it's almost an hour and a half, it discusses the nature of forgery and art, and it's just kind of fun? it's not quite a documentary, i think the wiki page actually considers it the grandfather of video essays because it's way more in line with that kind of thing. it's neat!

Her (2013, dir. Spike Jonze) - we watched this for a women's study class in undergrad to talk about the evolution of technology and its place in feminism and i remember just being really intrigued with the way the film presented the ideas of 'what do we consider human? what do we consider relationship? what do we consider life?' (looking at it on amazon it apparently won for best original screenplay the year it came out...shrimpresting...)

Tucker & Dale vs Evil (2010, dir. Eli Craig) - for as much as i have friends who love silly horror i never see enough people talk about this one. i don't even remember who recommended it to me in the first place but as a guy from the south i do appreciate the way it makes fun of classist stereotypes about southerners in horror films!

honorable mention here to Gaslight (1944, dir. George Cukor) because for one thing, i think it is good, Charles Boyer is super creepy and absolutely reminds me of people i've known in my life and two, i think way too many people use the term gaslighting when that's not what the hell is happening and i think would benefit from watching a version of where the terms comes from.

thank u for the ask :]

[chrolloctrl]

How would be the adult trio in love ?? I'm really looking forward to your writing 😳😳💖💖💖🙏😎

omg this is something i’ve been thinking about so long since i feel like some people REALLY don’t write the adultrio well when they are in love. of course they are all borderline psychotic but i do not think they are incapable of love. i said what i said anyways let me continue

im going to do this as a head canon if thats okay!! if you want me eventually develop a specific character into a one shot i definitely will:)

warnings: like some mention of blood and fighting, maybe a lil mention of sexual things, nothing too bad tho theres one really explicit blood/gore mention in hisokas but that is a very hisoka thing so i have decided to leave it there

first i’m doing illumi bc yall miss with illumi so hard

okay so

first of all, he was a definitely a child with an avoidant attachment style

basically when mummy was there he was annoyed, when mummy left he didn’t care or was probably happy, and when mummy came back he was annoyed once again

this child did not experience love as a child

not once

zip

zero

nada

so u have to be patient with him im sorry to say

but it isn’t impossible

i think when he’s in love, he doesn’t realize it

he thinks he’s just in a sort of...agreement with you

but im telling u right now.. small acts of kindness are his love language

like if u guys were in a fight together and there was blood on ur clothes he would wash them and lay them on ur bed

and then u would be like “ok u didn’t have to do that thats so nice”

and he’d be like “i dont know what ur talking about”

and walk away

or

he would see like a book or something u like and read it just because u liked it too

he wouldn’t tell u tho he would just randomly bring up something from the book 

and you would be like “oh u read it?” 

and he would be like “no why would u think that”

and you would be like “:|”

with illumi u just have to be patient, i think eventually he would catch himself making ur bed one day and he would be like “fuck”

and realize he might have a thing for u

but he wouldnt believe it bc he is oh so emotionless and does not feel one thing at all

but he does he is just a liar

i think he would make his first move when he accidentally lets out all the emotions hes been faking not having and like just cries wishing he were loved and ur like

“i love u though illumi, a lot”

and he would just kiss u and like hug ur for 3 hours and then make u not talk about it ever again but u guys would just be in love and killua would be kinda pressed but he’d be happy u were illumi’s gon <3

okay let’s do chrollo next im sorry illumi’s was so long 

alright

as u can tell i am in love with this man

and everyone always bashes me bc he has no screentime and a pretty basic anime antagonist backstory

but out of all of the adultrio i think he falls in love the easiest and with someone nobody expects

like he is a mass murderer and thief and ur like...a flower shop worker

he would just be walking in yorknew city and see u reading some obsecure ass russian literature while working at a flower shop and he’d be like “wait im intrigued”

then he would talk to u and u would be like

:D

but also calm and reserved

and he would love that, someone who just vibes not a worry in the world

but then as he gets to know u he realizes u r not just a body bag who vibes

u r a human with actual emotions

something he probably swears he doesnt have

he would tell the rest of the troupe that ur just like...an experiment

and they would all buy it EXCEPT machi

she would be like “omg boss ur in love”

and chrollo would be like “um i dont feel that sry to say”

and machi would be like “ya sure lol”

you have no idea who he is like no clue he is the lead spider

but okay omg this part is gonna be corny

you would like hehe sorry im laughing thinking ab this

walking around yorknew city and he would almost step on a spider and u would be like “no!!! be careful!!” and pick up the spider and lightly set it into the grass

and chrollo would be like “why would u do that spiders r scary...right” *looks into the camera like hes on the office*

and u would be like “no..even spiders have feelings u know”

and then he would just like absolutely lose it he’d maintain composure but on the inside he would be like dhdkhduwojhfw

then he would kiss u and then he would finally tell the troupe the truth and machi would be sooo smug 

oh and the troupe def likes u like that is a given

ur just so innocent and sweet its like impossible not to like u u make everyone put away their tough guy acts

and then ya u guys probably read to each other u weird fucks

but its cute and i love

alright now for probably the person who would take the longest to love someone 

i dont know if u have read hisokas backstory one shot but i will try to explain the best i can

hisoka was in circus. lead man of circus say hisoka talented. lead man train hisoka to use nen. hisoka learns nen very fast. oh no serial killer is on the loose. oh no girl in circus almost get killed by serial killer. hisoka save girl. hisoka accuse lead man of being serial killer. lead man say yes lol i am. hisoka say okay i want 2 fight. lead man say sure lol i will kill u. hisoka kill lead man and girl in circus wonders where hisoka and lead man went.

okay now that thats out of the way

the girls name was abaki and i think hisoka liked her ngl

but that was before u know he got all gassed by killing lead man

he definitely thinks similar to illumi in the way that u r just a pawn in his plans

but u r def super strong and he is shook

he probably wants to fight u

but he still doesnt think ur strong enough

u live ur own life separately from his so he doesnt know much ab what u do in ur free time

one day he catches u training with someone else

and he won’t say it but hes lowkey pissed af

hes like “um wtf why didnt u ask me to train u

and ur like “literally why would i ever do that”

and hes like “what u think i cant train”

and ur like “u can barely control ur bloodlust hisoka :|” 

hes like “yeah u know ur right i guess”

but he doesnt stop thinking ab it bc like why wouldnt u train with him

u decide to go on ur own lil mission and try to fight someone you’ve been wanting to fight for a while

you invite hisoka just to watch, you tell him you just want him to sit around this time since you always sit around and watch him

he expects u to get beat to a pulp ngl

but you like completely obliterate the other person

this is too niche but u have such a gory fighting style. like ur def batshit crazy in a fight and loose all composure 

hisoka is shook bc he did not expect u to go that crazy

u like bite the other dudes jugular and blood splatters every where

that was so gross but idk im into that weird shit sorry im tw’ing that

but hisoka is a weird mf so that def makes him horny for u

he like takes u back to ur house while ur covered in blood and theres a crazy look in ur eye still

and he realizes hes in love with u bc ur just as crazy as him

i feel like ur guys relationships spawns bc of how crazy u both are. u guys probably summon demons for fun

i feel like his love language is more i do for u what u do for me

like if u save his ass in a fight, he’ll watch a cheesy movie for u

its def a give and receive vibe but it works

or if he saves ur ass he makes u guys take a bath together

and ur like “this is so cheesy”

and hes like “um ur having fun tho right” *crickets* “yea thats what i thought”

muah gonna think ab this before i go to bed

alr i think i wrote WAYYY too much omg these are all so long i am so sorry, too many thought in brain keyboard go woosh

hope u liked it though <3

[blushing-starker]

Having a boyfriend that's a natural rule breaker becomes even more tedious because now it's two people conspiring together, itching to shatter social norms. Sure, they won't pull the fire alarm stunt to get out of a quiz (that's more Rocket and Groot's style), place mirrors on front steps to confuse Fury and nearly give the principal a heart attack (Loki with an exasperated Thor and cackling Hela) or hire a mariachi band to follow hall monitor Alexander Pierce (Steve had joined Bucky and Sam in that one); they'd never sneak into the air vents, fill them with glitter so the haughty board of directors would be covered in pink sparkles when they cranked the ac (Clint and Nat).

Ok, they did help with that last one, buying the shimmering stuff from T'Challa's sister and slipping five jars into Clint's backpack, but they didn't actually go into the vents.

But that's not the point. The point is there are limits to their rule breaking; Tony's spot on the football team and Peter's participation in the art club too important to risk on something as silly as skipping a quiz. No, they thanked their best friends, unhooked the window lock and slithered out only after finishing and handing in the quiz. They weren't amateurs.

Still, Peter knows Tony literally couldn't have chosen a worse time for their impromptu lunch date. (Luckily, he'd expected this exact situation.)

"Tony, they don't even have bad food today. We could just wait until the bell rang to meet up and eat at the bleachers. Like we always do a day before a big game."

His boyfriend swivels around, hooks nimble fingers into his belt loops to pull Peter closer, never once stumbling even while walking backwards. The grin he shows is manic, just this side of wild to let Peter know this isn't about haunting nightmares and bouts of anxiety. This is normal, too high on a feeling Tony Stark. Which means he won't head back to school unless Peter pulls out all the stops...

He's too exhausted from last night's art project to use up energy on the puppy eyes. So he sighs, tugs on the blue varsity jacket Tony loves to show off, kisses a dimple before turning this untamed creature around.

"Come on, I found a new route to that shawarma place with MJ and Ned last week." It sounds exasperated, but Tony knows Peter will do anything to keep him happy. Well. Not anything. There's only so many times they can discuss Star Wars before simply agreeing to disagree on whether Han and Luke are pan or bi.

"What, and you tell me this now?", Tony squawks indignantly from Peter's left side, freezing nose nuzzling into Peter's neck as revenge.

Like a robber caught sneaking into a vault, he raises his hands instantly before shoving Tony away.

"Hey, you were focusing on practice! If I told you, you'd bring Rhodey, he'd bring T'Challa and then Shuri would pop up and who goes where she goes? Bucky, which means Steve and Sam, who'd already be there thanks to Rhodey and of course Clint would somehow appear with Nat. We'd be together so Ned and MJ are gonna be teasing with Betty and half the guys in our grade have a crush on Nat, or MJ or Shuri or Betty or you. So what's the end result? The entire football, soccer, basketball and swim team eating shawarma a week before the games. I am not hearing Coach Coulson scold me for you guys breaking diet again. I'm already on his list, another situation like that and I'll have to run fifteen laps around the field."

"Oh come on, you can do those in your sleep." He could, but again, not the point.

"With a weighted backpack, Tony."

"Yeah, I can see why you wouldn't want that."

"Before cycling fifteen laps and then swimming fifteen laps."

"Jesus, why would he even do that?" Tony looks at him then, disgruntled at the thought of his boyfriend doing all that.

He shrugs, doesn't want to explain Peter had done it once when it all got too much and he'd needed to release the pent up energy. He hadn't noticed Coach watching him, ready to come help if he hurt himself. They'd talk afterwards, Coulson making him promise to never do that alone. Now it became a reward and a punishment. Peter won the art contest? Fifteen everything to focus his mind and not go jumping off walls in his excitement.

His students wolfing down a thousand calories before a game? Fifteen everything so Peter would at least "time it so it's not during the season, Jesus". To be fair to Peter, Tony participated in almost all the sports teams so scheduling was hard.

"Listen, just don't eat a whole animal, ok? We can split it, eat enough," he glares at Tony, pushing through even as the puppy eyes come out, "and then head to the movies. They're showing Aliens for a few days cuz of Halloween and I already texted the guys to come during lunch."

His boyfriend, smart and sharp and witty, just blinks at him. "But we have class after lunch."

"Technically, but I convinced Mr Pym to let the class out of lab so we could all hang out. It's the one class we share so now the whole group can see it together."

Tony stops, eyes wide and mouth open.

"You, what, planned this?"

"Yeah, something fun before tomorrow to take it off your mind for a while. Or, you know, not make it stand out as much. I know how focused you get, and it's really great, having that as a goal, strategizing and taking it seriously. But I also know it can be a lot, so I thought we should all hang out since each of us has something coming up and we aren't spending much time together. Which I get, responsibilities and family and school; I just missed it and I can't be the only one, right? So yeah, this was planned. Like, two weeks ago. When MJ found the new route, it was like a sign. And I really want you to relax and enjoy the whole, I have friends that care for me and a boyfriend that loves-"

He slaps a hand on his mouth, eyes impossibly wide and cheeks flaming. Tony and Peter stand immobile, the world reduced to beat up sneakers breaking the simplicity of yellow lines on black, a flickering neon sign telling them the shawarma place is open and two hearts slowly starting to beat again after that confession.

Ned would say it's romantic. MJ would bluntly remind them it's a bad idea to stand in the middle of the road even if they're saying I love you. And with good reason, since there's the telltale roar of a car bursting with teenagers, voices howling out the lyrics to an AC/DC song. And of course Peter notices the noise of rubber swerving against gravel, the screeching of old brakes and a few terrified shrieks harmonizing with a sharp wind blasting into him out of nowhere. Before he can react, Tony is there, wrapping his arms around Peter and shoving them both into the little patch of grass that grows from a crack in dirty pavement.

There's a moment where his whole world flips, tumbles until he screws his eyes shut and prepare himself for whatever the fuck caused that noise. But nothing comes. Only a sigh blowing a stray curl away from his forehead. But a sigh? Why would?

Tony.

He gasps, jolts upright and apologizes when that just serves to jostle his boyfriend further into the ground. His boyfriend who'd flip them so Peter wouldn't be hurt. Tony is peering at him through half shut eyes, discomfort clear on the grimace he tried to transform into a sheepish grin.

"So, you love me, huh?"

It's the stupidest thing Tony Stark has ever said.

"What the fuck were you thinking? You could have gotten hurt, you could have shattered a wrist, dislocated a shoulder, torn an ACL, bent a leg-"

"This is not what I expected. Also it was a three foot leap forward on grass, I'm fine, Peter."

"Or bashed your head, or busted an arm and then what would you do for the game tomorrow? Who the hell does that?"

"The guy you love, apparently."

"That's not the point, Tony, that's unimportant because you nearly got hurt. Christ, Coulson will slaughter me if there's a scratch on you, and then your mom would be sad and I'd be sad because, what would I do without you? And don't you ever do that again, I can't take it. I am not losing you, Tony. God, why would you do that, risk so much on-"

"On you? Babe, I'd do it again. Ok, not the right thing to say based on the whole face thing you got going on right now. But just hear me out. Don't, stop hitting me, ow, why are you hitting, how are you this strong, Jesus. Ow, stop it. Peter, for fuck's sakes, I love you, you animal. Now please let go of the jacket, it'll get wrinkles."

His hands unclasp the soft cotton, Tony falling back with a groan and Peter's unhinged jaw snapping shut after fifteen seconds of letting the flies in.

It's a wonderful thing, hearing the guy he's loved for so long say it back, say he loves Peter.

It's also fucking stupid since there's even more reason to not do stunts like that.

"You're an idiot. I'm in love with a guy that has one shared brain cell with Steve. You could have been hurt, Tony. And what would that have done, huh?"

His boyfriend sighs yet again, wraps an arm around Peter to push them from the ground and heads to the car where their friends are gawking. He waves them off, offers a "Yeah, I know I'm amazing, no, I didn't break anything, T'challa, yes, I can play, Jesus, Rogers, I can read you like a book. I appreciate the worry, Bruce; Nat, thanks for calming him down. Rhodes, excellent driving. No need to hog the seats, Sam, we need to settle in. Peter, you can keep cursing me out if you, yeah, see how it's nice being fun size when you fit in my lap in a car full of people. What, I'm not walking after that, I don't care if it's til we reach the parking. Let's go, Rhodes. Pepper, I'm fine. "

Clint offers a high five. Tony responds and that's that. Out of sight, Ned gives him a fist bump and MJ keeps on reading her book. It could just be his imagination, but Tony's sure she's smiling, approval clear on her face. He preens, glad to have her blessing, and settles his head on Peter's fluffy hair.

-----

When they're all laughing in a booth, smashed together and picking food off of everyone's plate, Peter nuzzles the crook of his neck, holds his hand and squeezes it. Tony smiles, lights up and shoves at Sam's face when the trio of best friends tease him for puffing his chest out when his boyfriend ever so softly says, "I love you."

"I love you, too." The table whoops and calls for another round of food and Coca-Cola, their family grinning at them and fondly teasing the new couple. Tony grins back, high on this feeling of warmth and happiness and safety and love.

And then Peter presses ice cold lips onto his neck and he lets out a shout, pain coursing through him when a knee slams into the table. His eyes water and through the haze of agony he sees their friends exchanging cash, some grumbling and others smirking. Rhodey and MJ, he notes, are the ones that win the most. They high five before pocketing the cash and ordering dessert.

Peter kisses his cheek, smile innocent and eyes wicked. It's his own fault Tony snatches an ice cube and slips it below his Nirvana shirt. He only has five seconds to lord his victory over Peter before there's ice cream being smeared on his cheek. They battle then, accidentally sending food into Wanda's lap, Clint's hair and Bucky's face.

In less than a minute they are all covered in shawarma and participating in the fight. Peter shrieks when Tony pulls him into his lap, gets chicken on the varsity jacket and tries to wriggle away. But Tony kisses him, tastes ice cream and joy, thanks whoever decided to give him a break and find this incredible person dozing on the roof of the school with Ned and MJ one spring afternoon. Peter kisses back and, at the same time, they say, confidently, honestly,

"I love you."

This is dedicated to @drarryismyshit07

[mlmxreader]

Trauma | Dan Torrance

summary; you and Dan open up about your childhoods to each other.

TRIGGER WARNING FOR CHILD ABUSE, SUICIDE, ETC. THIS IS SUPER DARK

Dan wasn't sure he wanted to be here, to be sat with you in your childhood bedroom, he could sense how dark things were and how shadows crept into the light and burned it away; he could sense the pain, and he could almost feel it, but even still, when he looked at you and saw you studying the room, he knew he had to be here.

He wasn't sure what had happened to you in your childhood, he wasn't entirely sure of the story, except that he knew that your trauma was very much like his own; he knew that since the day he met you, his shine had been drawn to you since the day you looked at him from across the street, and as he grew closer to you, the tugging of his shine had only grown.

"We can leave," he told you. "We can pack up and leave, I-"

"It's fine," you shook your head, clearing your throat. "Sooner or later we all have to face our own demons, right?"

Dan nodded, letting out a little grumble as he cleared his throat. "What happened?"

"My mother," you started, voice growing shaky, "she... when I was a kid, she used to beat me... pouring boiling water down my back, smashing my head against walls, choke... choking me as she pinned me to the floor... kicking my ribs and pulling my hair... she used... she used to... there were a lot of things she did..."

He knew that your mother was very much like his father; short tempered and violent, instilling fear into their children and spouses. He knew. He understood. "Sounds like my dad..."

"I guess, yeah," you whispered. "But, y'know, being here... I can still picture the blood on the walls, and the way my dad used to try and get between her and me and how he... he used to end up with broken bones and shit."

"My dad once... he chased me and my mother with an axe," Dan shared, "he told my mother he wasn't gonna hurt her, he was gonna bash her fucking brains in - right the fuck in... he tried to get better, he did, but that hotel, it... it made him so much worse."

You hummed softly, sadly, leaning over to rest your head on his shoulder, wrapping your arms around his as you sighed heavily and squeezed your eyes tightly shut. "I've never told anyone this before, but... after my mother hit me with her belt, I... I stole it, and I tied it to the ceiling fan and tried to... tried to hang myself, but it was too short and I couldn't... I didn't... I should've died that day, Dan... I should've died..."

Looking down at the floor, the old and frayed red carpet, the little burn marks from secret cigarettes and the stained blood from he didn't even want to guess what, Dan ran a hand through his hair; he had been in your shoes, he could remember when he was sleeping on the streets and stealing food stamps from women with needy children, he could remember the darkness and how it dimmed his shine. He could never truly escape the darkness. "No, you shouldn't have. You're here for a reason, (y/n), we all are. We're all here for a reason."

"Dan, I'm a terrible person," you quietly cried, tears streaking down your features and leaving marks in your skin, wet trenches leading the way to Dan's soft jacket as you did your best to hold back the rain. But some storms could not be controlled. "I'm a fucking terrible person, I mean - if I was a better kid, if I was smarter, and nicer, and better behaved and-"

"None of that matters," he told you, his voice sharp like a knife but soft like a woolly blanket. "None of that... it doesn't matter. What she did to you was wrong, and even if you were a terrible person, our beliefs don't make us better people, our actions do... and you... I know you're a good person."

You sniffled a little, trembling, your voice shaky and uneven, cracking and splintering and tearing at the seams. "I guess we're both a little fucked up from our childhoods, huh?"

"We're traumatised," Dan corrected, his voice soft yet low. "But it's okay, we'll be alright."