#''why cant u be normal abt them'' how can i be normal abt them when solid 80% of their interactions is either angst or stemmed from angst.

[aroacettorney]

dont mind me. im simply just putting together a ludgercasey angst collection.

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[yuukei-yikes]

haruka and takane are literally said to be experimented on but we never know what exactly happens to them and rly they didnt Have to get experimented on to get to where they end up on, just killed. but also its so much more fun to imagine they do get experimented on. my hc is since their red eyes case is kinda unique the experimenting bit also plays a part in the way saeru cheats the system to get 2 snakes out in 1 day. cuz technically ONE snake should be out by killing two people. for 2 snakes to get out you’d need 4 people!!

also something i never got is HOW is ayano able to open the daze by herself and keep one snake when it’s supposed to be when 2 people die. all 3 of their cases are a little ridiculous or i just personally dont get it. i take pride in understanding kagepro but ayano’s thing is something i never quite got lol. HOW DO ALL 3 GET A SNAKE IF THEY DIE ALONE(?) i thought maybe the daze opens for ayano bc haruka and takane’s deaths already opened it that day?? we dont rly know if ayano dies before or after haruka and takane after all. erm. 1 million thoughts in tags like always

[izzy-b-hands]

My doctor messaging me at 12:30 in the morning to tell me she wants to do a telehealth visit abt the side effects I'm having with my new Lamotrigine dose (including worse insomnia than my usual insomnia, as u may have guessed lmao) is. something.

[loveireandblog]

When I'm tired + when I'm sick + when I'm drunk , every feeling that I am in some way disfigured melts away cos the other stresses get strong PLUS right this has been a thing , therapy realm fr but I'll keep it concise, since I was a kid before it got insane like from "wow if I get a cut...it bleeds. And heals. Like others?" (Throw in self harm )And now oh my god the delight in seeing myself get old I'm like woahhh me toooo???? Its SO weird lol. Disassociation but also just . Fracture

[justcallmesakira]

hihihihi AUGH i love ur work sm?!! omg if u can fyodor with a younger sister (she has the same level of intelligence of him and works in the doa and his organaization) who is dating dazai? :) I know there are some but i need crack and suggestive!!1

ty and er bye good luck take ur time!

"Fyodor with a sister dating Dazai''

Sypnosis: Your rat brother is anything but happy about the fact that you are dating his only enemy on earth! Good luck on surviving!!!

Genre: crack, suggestive at the end

Warnings: bombing, terrorizz, , mentions of maniupulative behaviour, mentions of verlaine, roblox radgoll, loads of simping words, me being down bad, making out (lol), your mom

A/N: my reqs are currently closed but ehhhh who cares lol also THIS WAS SO HARD TO WRITE HONESTLY- pls enjoy and reblog i tried my best--- *dies of mental ilness*

How bro-

JUST HOW DID U DO THAT W/O HIM BLASTING DAZAIS INTERNAL ORGANS? 🤯🤯🤯

No bcs fyodor did not even plan to let u meet dazai but ofcourse bcs of the dead apple tower and stuff and since then he had completly fallen inlove with you whether you are dostoevskys sister or not

He prob asked u to do a waltz with him in the mukokukokurokito or whatver the phuck that towers name was when you entered the castle with your brother

Fyodor WAS NOT happy because he saw the flirty glint in dazais eyes when u came

If looks cold kill-.. (KILL ME, RUSSIAN ZADD😍😍---)

And all you went was giggles and flirting back

Fyodor is prob gonna get his own medicine bcs they two are so like each other??? but he still couldnt believe how you with such high intelligence could fall for him???

(fyodor take your anemic medication first)

Dazai obv had some skeptics after you but like the manwhore he is and prob slept with the entierty of yokohama! ofc hes gonna court you as if you might not just use him!!!

Very (not) normal behaviour indeed!!

HELP YOU KNOW THAT ONE INDIAN RIZZLER VS. UWU CAT??? HES LITERLY THAT BUT

Dazai: "I fucked your sister she be screaming high pitch😈" fyodor: "What did you say, you little child i will crush your skull 😡😡😡should have known when i smile, I also play cello, i can be anything Уву"

that was UWU in russian btw-

But in all serious he will try maniupultaing you or gaslighting you into leaving dazai, he cant leave his only family to a man he does not trust! fyodor doesnt even trust himself-

fyodors gonna act a bit more colder then usual bcs of the fact HIS sister is dating someone and that someone is his enemy

Honeslty you go up to say chuuya whos like "why do i get deja vu-" *flashback to verlaine* you: "First time?"

But ofc since you are also extremely smart you somehow convinced him (after playing roblox radgoll with him for 8 hours) to let you atleast join date with dazai

I bet you rizzed up dazai by "He said his favourite colour was blue, so i blew him up😍💣"

*insert proud brother noises*

He speaks in russian or any slavic language whenever you three are in a gathering to mostly embarress dazai

I have seen some hcs on dazai being a collarbone biter so if you were off shoulder shirts and fyodor sees them by chance hes going to glare at you as if you are covered in mud :33

"Sister,,,what. is. that." *nasty side eye to the love bite on your neck*

Dazai 100% one time randomly pulled you into the alley and started aggresively making out with you with his hands literly sprawling all over your body like hes daddy long legs or sth-

Bcs HE KNEW that fyodor had cctv set in that part of the city and fyodor would be raging at the fact that the sluttiest man is touching his precious sister like that

bros gonna forgot abt human rights- oh wait hes russian

IF HE EVER CATCHES YOU TWO THO--

Like making out on some bed or sth hes actually no LIKE ACTUALLY GOING TO throw a whole ass cabinet at dazai with a face full of nothing but malice-

"How dare, an inhuman animal like you touch my very sister" "BRO CHILL I AM YOUR BROTHER-IN-LAW--"

And your just trying to stop your brother from commiting murder even though that his hobby ^^

fyodor finally forgot he had anemia bcs now all his focus was to give dazai the most painful death know to the medieval period\

Good luck on stoping your brother from poking a fork in your lovers eye in family dinners!!

A/N: guys ik i am doing the valentines req pls be patient i am trying my best!! i have a relly bad mental health rn so yeahhh-

Divider crds!: @cafekitsune

tags! @silverbladexyz @biscuits-lovely-corner @riiwrites @heartsfourdazai @tojifile @atsquie @atlasnessie @chuuyasboner @yosanosboner @ruanais @darling--angst

[mcytegg]

What were your thoughts on the devotions in today's stream?

ummm. okay so its complicated LMFAO cause like okay. u need to keep in mind my inherent bias for mapicc in general bc i recognize his wrongdoings and flaws, i just dont care in the slightest. like its still mapicc and i support his rights and wrongs always.

on one hand i do always enjoy dysfunctional and codependent relationships and friendships in general, like i love toxic codependency a lot so obviously i fw whatever the hell zam and mapicc have going on. i also just........support mapicc always. like as long as he is doing what makes him happy. or what he thinks will make him happy, i support him simply bc he is mapicc. even if he has dumbass fucking ideas, theyre usually funny anyways so yk its whatever as long as hes doing what he thinks is best for himself.

on the flipside, i do very much recognize theyre both treating each other very unfairly and i dont think theyre able to communicate everything they need to. it annoys me when people spam in chat "just communicate" bc mapicc avoids talking abt his own feelings and struggles openly in a Normal Way like the plague and zam himself cant FULLY and TRULY be honest abt how he feels w anyone bc he cant even do it w himself. there are so many feelings and thoughts zam has that he struggles HEAVILY to deal w on his own so him being unable to be completely honest w anyone else, even if unintentionally, just makes sense. like no matter who it is— whether its someone he trusts deeply like mapicc, someone who pushes and prods him like kab, or someone who is patient and gentle w him like derap. its not smt that can just be Solved just like that bc its BEEN an issue throughout multiple seasons.

i enjoy analyzing and picking apart the devotions dynamic bc i love them both as characters very dearly and i like their toxic thing. i like that theyre fucked up and codependent but i also recognize that its just very much not healthy for either of them, and i can understand why others may not fw their dynamic like i do since i specifically Enjoy codependendency as a trope LOL

[wonyrs]

fluster

enha hyungs x fmr gnr non-idol au, est. relationship warnings food wc 939 + library #

‘ enha hyung as ur 'homies' ! REQ

lee heeseung

" ayyy how u been bro?"

plays along and even replaces his normal petnames with something he'd usually call the members but NEVER you (until now)

um... hello? where is the endearing "why'd u call me that babe 😢☝️?" where is the begging for a kiss? where is the desperate attempts at pda we were hoping to see? this wasn't the plan at all (like... at ALL)

he tries to hide his laugh when u give him the stink eye and keeps up his act

even going as far to pretend like he isn't seeing ur hand inching closer to his and lifts it up to 'brush' the hair from his face

second attempt at holding his hand ended up with him fishing his phone out from his pocket and showing u an extremely!!! hilarious... insta reel.

ur plan has reversed; instead of him dying for ur affection, its now u trying to stop him from treating u like any other person before u physically cannot take it anymore

"ok man. i see how it is man. bye man." this is ur cue to stand up, run away and never look back for ur own emotional sake

if it weren't for heeseung GRIPPING onto ur shirt with the most gobsmacking laugh u've heard coming out his mouth, to the point tears were trsiling down his face from how hard he's laughing

"wait- wait [name]! you started it, come back!"

park jongseong

" how are u doing BABE? how's life BABE? "

mommm [name]'s acting weird again, i think the heat's getting to them

he acts like he can't see ur hand in the air and continues to kiss u right on the lips (but he still moves ur arm down for safety measures)

"what's good, dude?" "baby, who are u talking to? it's only us in this room lol 🤨"

u try again with dapping him up but immediately he turns around and oh so suddenly the wall is soooo interesting

for the whole hour u mess with him and call him 'bro, dude, gang' and shit like that while he just sneakily rolls his eyes and goes on with his day- while most likely wondering what on earth was wrong w u

he'd be in the kitchen washing the dishes while ure trying to hold his hand and have it dap urs up

but is he paying attention?

lmfao no

he goes on with his day since he knows u cant go another hour without his love and so he has nothing to worry about (unless u actually DO go for another hour, then he's actually going to believe something's wrong with u)

eventually u give up and go back to slumping on his back. the months u've spent together gave jay a clear understanding on ur antics and gave him some time to prepare for anything u had up ur sleeve

" tired already? an hour, new record babe. good job"

sim jaeyun

" why are u doing this to me "

the moment u refuse his hug and opt for a more... different greeting, jake malfunctions for a bit

he trys to hug u again but u extremely remain still

whines complains when u keep up the 'homeboy' act

"i swear we acted like a normal couple yesterday, did i make u mad pookie? 😥" sneaks in some of the petnames u absolutely LOATHE just for a reaction

hates when u replace the lovely kiss-and-hug interactions with dapping him up like a BRO

most likely complained to the enha gc abt ur 'unearthly' behaviour (u get his ass on that later) and cries that he might never see the old u again

the urge to drown him in all the love u've kept in since u met up is eating u alive But watching him practically cry over ur feet is helping u out a wee bit

"chat this is absolutely hilarious what are we thinking" "WOW! Hahaha so funny!! Such a kneeslapper! can u stop now 😐."

Hes dead serious when he says this btw Like full on eye contact with furrowed eyebrows, but a small pout is resting on his face

he was fine with the joke at first but then he just got more eager for ur touch as the hours went by

u stare for a bit before engulfing him in the biggest hug ever while peppering his face with an abundance of smooches

"finally! u dont know how long ive waited for this"

park sunghoon

" did u eat something funny? "

just stares. nothing else, just stares

eventually u have to drop ur arm because the silence just got too awkward

was he mad at u? (ofc not) Maybe hoonie just needed to load and take a bit to process the scene in front of him

"i dont think u should be doing this to your boyfriend, babe. it doesn't really fit the loving couple vibe yk 🤖"

even when sunghoon continues to act like everything's normal u keep on persisting with acting like close-bro-friends

... only to be met with the most baffled face ever.

he wonders if ure roleplaying as some character or just genuinely going insane

decides to go along with whatever you're doing and continue the day as normal as it can get

when u get tired of the lack of attention, u drop the act but unconsciously refer to him as bro

muscle memory(ish) fr

"dude can you at least act interested?" "um excuse me? what'd u just call me"

HELLO. where was this dumbfounded hoon when u need him?

ure actually laughing atp because he doesn't even look like he knew what was wrong

the whole time u kept up w the joke, he didn't even look like he cared UNTIL u got tired and talked in ur normal tone

"don't ever say 'dude' in a serious tone like that. scared me, babe."

@ wonyrs 2023

note sorry anon for not taking ur request after like 2 weeks... i've needed some motivation to write SORRY.. also maknae version is next :> requests open!

[mapliusoup]

my big theory about whats going on in the bp universe- pt1

hey guys!!!! im just so excited abt the whole tour and the possibility that theyll release new stuff so i thought. why not share the brainrot with the swarm!!!

this is gonna be a i think 5-part (maybe more, maybe less) series of theories im gonna be doing :)

i also wanted to clarify that these are my theories and i am not in any way claiming they are true! im just having some fun lmao, if u wanna add anything just share with me im curious

(i dont include house of wolves and teenagers in the story btw they just dont fit in for me)

this is the part 1, the beginning.

the black parade, for me, is about death. and coming to terms with yourself. i am going to tell the story how i view it.

the story is about the patient, a man dying of terminal illness, most possibly cancer. he is alone, he is sad, and he has nobody to spend his last moments with. this is about him. and death.

his story starts with i dont love you. his partner has had enough of him: he is selfish, broken, and they dont think they can fix him. so they leave him. and he is alone.

the patient never had anyone he could remember of apart of them: his family? he didnt remember them.

in between that and the next song of the album, his fate is sealed. he gets diagnosed with terminal cancer and admitted into hospital. he has no one there. he cant remember anything about his past, in between these white walls.

the sharpest lives, the next song of the album, is the patient being angry. he is angry, at his partner, at the hospital, at himself, at the non-existent god that cursed him to this fate. he cant die, he does not deserve to. he complains, shouting at no one, about his unfair fate.

in this is how i disappear, his anger slowly starts to dissipate, shifting, and turning into slight sadness, maybe even remorse. he misses his lover: he wants to be normal. he wants them back. he doesnt want to go just yet.

in cancer, the patient is starting to realize his fate: hes dying. and there is nothing he can do to stop it. hes regretting every single mistake he ever made. the patient hates himself. he is alone because he deserves it: dying will free him for all this loneliness. he says his goodbyes to no one. and then he dies.

the end.

he opens his eyes, and he is in a place he does not recognize. a land of gothic infrastructures, tall and cutting the horizon into strange shapes. (we'll talk about this landscape more in the future; remember it.) he is surrounded by silhouettes, faceless people he does not know, but that yet seem so familiar. a young white-haired man approached him, smiling. "welcome," he said. "to the aftermath of your life."

the young man, the parade leader as he calls himself, explains to the patient that he is dead. he tells him that because of what how much of an asshole he was when alive, he is here, now.

in welcome to the black parade, the parade leader tells the patient about this place.

the parade, for me, is the purgatory: they send lost souls there to repent themselves- or, alternatively, to get them to hell. the parade leader and his band sing for them, they sing for them to make them remember all their past mistakes and to decide of their fate. the band is stuck there, in this limbo, forever: what got them here, they do not know. maybe the tour will shed some light on the origin of the parade.

then comes dead!, where the parade leader laughs at the patient, explaining to him that he made these mistakes, that he is unloved and he deserves whats hapenning to him now. the patient tries to deny it so hard, but he knows its true. he knows he fucked up.

in a burst of pain, for knowing that this is his fault, the patient has a vision.

he lays in wet dirt, the smell of blood and death in his nostrils. he hears screams and gunshots all around him.

suddenly, he remembers. the patient went to war, probably world war two (i like to think he went there because of the ghost of you music video. maybe im overthinking it lmao), and killed people there. a lot of people. it was normal to kill people at war, of course. but it haunted him. during the battles, he lost so many friends. so many brothers. the only person he had left was his mother.

mama.

his mother cried when he came back. because she could see the blood on his hands. she cried because her own son had murdered other women's flesh- their families.

she died quickly, too sad to live like this.

from that moment and then next song, there is a big gap that im going to try my best to explain.

basically, after the patient recovered his memories of his mother and the war, he started regretting all that he did even more. at the same time, he accepted it: everyone was imperfect. everyone was human. he comes at peace with himself, and prepares to die. i mean yeah he already died but like just his mind died? like he was still technically alive because his old memories still attached him to the living world.

in famous last words, the patient tells his last regrets to the parade leader: how he couldnt tell his mother and his partner that he loved them: that he couldnt live a long healthy life: that he couldnt say sorry to the mothers of all the men he killed.

but in disenchanted, he comes to terms with that: it is sad, but it is how it is. just a sad song, with nothing to say. there is nothing he can do to stop it, so he might as well go peacefully.

the parade leader, himself, had grown attached to this man: the patient was like him in many ways. he couldnt quite explain it, or understand it, but it hurt to let him go.

and so, in sleep, the parade leader sets him off. his song comes from deep inside, from his guts. it hurts. it hurts so bad to let him go. as he screams at him to go to sleep, there is a flash of darkness. and so the patient ends.

thats kind of my interpretation of the story! a man who is broken and does not know why, who is going to suffer an unfair end, and who finally comes to terms with who he is thanks to another lost soul. ofc, thats just how i personally see it!

last little thing before he start working on the next parts, for which i have wayyy more evidence for what im gonna speculate hehe

blood is the "transition" to the next part of the story. the parade changed after the death of the patient. it wasnt the patient directly, but something had changed after he left. the parade had become more defiant, more unstable, more resisting. so someone had to stop them.

thats when swarm comes in.

feel free to share ur theories with me!! i love to hear them :3

[yummycrummy]

p1 hcs becuz I am normal abt characters 

-his real name is Rick but he prefers to go by Dude (I like to think that p2's name is Rick too but we aren't talking abt him rn) 

-in his 20s (like...26 or 28???) he looks older to some people though, if he even goes out

-has severe generalised anxiety disorder, PTSD, hypochondria, schizophrenia, social anxiety, and OCD 

- has Anthropophobia, Ataxophobia, Catagelophobia, Claustrophobia, Daemonophobia, and probably way more

-started to take medication at some point but eventually stopped because he thought they wouldn't work and make him more paranoid 

-he owns guns (A LOT of them) probably like, 25. he keeps them perfectly clean and safe, stocked up on his wall or in his panic room. (we'll get to that part soon) he'd probably have a collection of other weapons too, like a bunch of knives and axes (he also keeps them very clean, obsessively) 

-owns a little radio so he can listen to MTV, music that he's into, like Nickelback, KMFDM, Judas Priest, Oingo Boingo and Black Sabbath. helps him relax when he feels like he's really losing it. (he also tries to listen in on the feds, like if they're spying on him. he's that paranoid.)

-cuddles with champ often. especially when hes in bed. he loves that puppy as much as life itself (he'd kill for him) 

-gets sunspots when hes out in the sun for awhile 🌤

-smokes pot frequently. his house probably reeks of it, and so does he lets be real

-smoking too much of the pot can fuck him up, yet he doesn't stop. he doesn't know what else to do, and he doesn't trust doctors.

-fidgets alot. holds onto his cross when hes scared or in need of comfort. bites his nails too.

-has acne scars

-sensitive to bright lights (why he wears sunglasses all the time)

-gets sick really often. all the time. almost died during a few probably

-has shit posture 🦐

-breaks things when hes overwhelmed or angry

-has a bunker/panic room in his basement. keeps way more weapons down there, including MRE's and dog food as well. he thinks about the world coming to an end and so that's basically why he built it. 

-hardly ever leaves his house. feels like the government is going to come for him, so whenever he sees a black vehicle outside, like a van, he freaks the hell out. If he was going to go out and get the mail that day you can forget it. 

-cant hold down a job for long. Idk how this man even has a house (government probably gives him money) that is until he eventually gets evicted (hope this makes sense enough im sleepy)

-can't drive even though he took his learners as a teen. he just can't. makes him more nervous and unable to focus on a lot of things at once, so he either walks or takes the bus. 

-kids would often call him a demon or pull his hair. they thought he was a freak since he never liked to be around any of the other kids, he was always off in some corner or inside at recess, so he was sadly the target of their taunts. 

-his parents weren't redheads like him (recessive genes) so when he was born his mother thought he was the spawn of the devil. she never wanted anything to do with him, as did his dad, so P1 desperately tried everything to get their attention/approval, but nothing ever worked. he eventually left home when he turned 17. 

k thats mostly it ty for reading if u did eee

[xx-psych0-rabbit-xx]

How do u see zan n susie

yay yuri time ^_^

ive already yapped abt how i see them in my actual hcs (susies got some weird multifaceted crush that consists of multiple things like "shes so cool <3" "i can save her." "shes kinda sad to watch n its charming" "looked good trying to kill me" "huge cunt.this is a positive.", zan thinks of her as her least least favorite acquaintance) n i believe ive yapped before of why i think putting them together is appealing (similar core concept of "the best servant for their boss" (actually their dad), completely opposite character depths of "susie has what r called STANDARDS n took haltmanns shit behavior into her own hands.zan partizanne got sacrificed n got absolutely no red flags from that bc shes indoctrinated n codependent but also stupid(/aff joke))

so ship dynamic wise.i think theyre cute.they hold hands while throwing rocks at ppl for their own amusement n feed each others egos.i think susie ultimately has little concept of intimacy n attachment bc shes a v disconnected person from The Horrors so she exaggerates w how much affection she shows bc she doesnt know whats the "normal" level ones supposed to show, n shes also overprotective in a way? bc the one relationship she did have her whole life not only went to shit but haltmann died badly leaving her w zero till turns out kirby wasnt just letting her leave forever.so like dont want that happening again.zan in the meantime has horrid attachment problems n an odd craving for reassurance n attention (cant imagine who gave her those!) so susies kinda spammy behavior actually feels rly good for her ? n zans naturally VERY affectionate when she does get attached to ppl so thats also giving back.again the best way i can define this is "theyre matching each others mental illness symptoms in such a way this becomes perfectly functional".weird fucks.do not separate.

basically would they win codependent yuri awards.yes.but the only toxic awards theyre winning is towards everybody else bc good lord taranza hasnt known a day of peace since they got together.

[makingspiritualityreal]

it just sucks if you want to be moderately normal to say the least yet every other person now has adhd and a screen addiction thats so bad they cant put their phone down not saying im perfect at it myself but i think we have to be better than this if we want to really be happy. yet everyones normalised all of this internet phone screen time and so on that i cant see an end to it any time soon.

then every other person talks in some weird language you dont know nor care about because everything is intended to be a viral meme or some other shit. thats why i wanted to know if time travel was real or not because ya girl wants to go back to a non internet era. it seriously was moderately better and as kids we had no urge to be on a device so long. it is ridiculous when u think abt it. but now i feel like i need to be indoctrinated into the same view points as everyone else and it makes my brain feel like mush afterwards.

i dont think people arent even aware of how bad they genuinely sound even the saying dont forget to like and subscribe, leave a comment down below is enough to make me not want to do that but at the same time i still feel swayed into subscribing to someones attention seeking desires for them to be known. i also feel like that was liam paynes demise he loved it too much and was addicted to being known that he couldnt not be known if that makes sense? i mean he was in THE biggest bg of his era thats pretty substaintial proof of his success but that alone still wasnt enough for him not to mention they all get diddled with early on its so unpleasant to think of what they must really be like when they arent trying to be something theyre not.

You can’t control the world but you can work on yourself.

The fact that you think you owe anyone a like or a subscribe is an internal problem. You can do what you want and no one can tell you otherwise. It’s your allowance of it that will make or break your life.

You also don’t have to participate in the collective madness. There are people out there who live differently than what you described.

What you focus on grows. There will always be something wrong with the world. Some things don’t deserve your time or attention. A lot of what you said is a US problem.

I had the opportunity to live in Canada, USA and Europe among people of various income levels, from poor to well off, and people outside of the US live differently. They have communities, they have real friends, they actually meet and put their phones down. People also have social media success all around the world. There are many ways to live and you get to choose not to associate with what bothers you.

[subskz]

https://x.com/dimpleechan/status/1656643613256990720?s=46&t=0R6cNEmTaBKB25A87Px8FA

channie…

what higher being gave him the puffiest juiciest softest looking pillowy lips known to man

this.. cannot be fair -_-

his curly hair and the blank stare in his eyes and if i’m not mistaken but the way you can see a dimple form above his mouth as he hollows out his cheeks.. what a recipe for disaster. how to kill ME 101

reminds me a little bit of ur fic safe which btw one of my absolute favorites ever…. ever since someone said it was like a continuation of bb i have never been the same since. did i really need the visual imagery… 😰

oh rinnie what are we gonna do with this boy…

link ♡

this is so…..why would u disturb my peace so deeply like this i hadn’t even noticed his lil dimple that pops out until you mentioned it oh my GOD!! 😭 the puffiest plushest most pillowy lips on god’s green earth is right i cant be normal abt them no matter what he does…the way you can see them pucker further around the ice cream and his cute blank stare…he’s just a zoned out airheaded puppy without a single thought behind those eyes </3

it reminds you of safe!! ㅠㅠㅠㅠ that’s so sweet hehe if that fic could be a favorite for my dearest channieluvr then my work here is done <3 it really is an accidental epilogue for bb huh esp when the reader wanting to keep chan safe is a running theme in bb! and seriously...as if we needed any more confirmation that channie's lips have a very clear and perfect use -_-;

[lieximhuman]

Can we pls be normal abt having trans ppl "look like their agab"???? pls??? like man u dont gotta transition at all to be trans... it's just a thang u r... man. Yea sure yall can draw a character u fanon as transmasc with big tits thats that, so why do ppl think saying u cant do that is activism????????????????????????????????????? like yea its weird if its lliterally obviously done by a chaser but it sounds transmed if u think abt it for a sec... let ppl draw what they want as long as its respectful to identities. saying transmen cant be fem is like real stupid... the moment ppl come out of a pussy they fucking look like their gender 101% of the time in yalls brain or something??? little boys can only play with blue toy cars..? Or even if the character isn't trans its just drawn gnc

Like i get it, some characters are (mostly)feminized to hell and back, and it gets tiredsome but then- just dont look at it? accept it, try to understand the why if it really bothers u... but dont be idk whatever that is that i see from time to time???

Its fine to meme it, like how in mlm ships they always end up drawing one super macho and the other super fem to idk - the seme and i dont know the other ones name lol - like thats kind of a silly trope that probably stems from heteronormativety.

But when its like a fucking fanart of just the guy... ya know binary trans ppl dont have to look like what you think their gender presentation should look like, how you think their body should look like... idk. their isnt a limit of how gnc someone can be and by imposing that on a fictional character, a interpretation or exploration of fiction???

man this turned into a big ass rant. No hate, just think abt WHY for a second or two.

I have never been anyone but me, so i should judge them if its something that isnt purpously hateful/ dangerous or follows such narrative even if it doesnt make full sense to me. Yea. ok bye

[ge]

can I hear more abt your trans chung myung thoughts please

.

HEHE ANYTHING FOR YOU MY ANGELS... trans chung myung is like my number one, most well loved & personal, firmest hc evur.. no matter what he is always trans to me idk..he is like the most trans character ive ever seen its sooo real to me.. ive said it once ill say it again, chung myungs lore is literally impact by his transsexualism and im the only one who sees it.. if u get it u get it... a little cw for minor transphobia out of ignorance, not prejudice..⬇️

i always imagined that chung myung knew he was trans since he was very young, like 'beginning to comprehend words and what they mean' young.. he always got angry and aggressive when his sect siblings called him young lady or samae, sajeo, etc, lashing out even at elders to the point hed get in trouble over it... i think pretty quickly everyone figured out if they just 'humoured' him, he'd get over whatever phase he was in and stop being so troublesome, so they did.. at first they began using more masculine terms and honourifics in a 'wink wink nudge' indulgent kind of way but they noticed as he got older, he started inserting himself into more male dominated spaces, even going so far as to bathe and groom himself w the other male disciples

at first it kind of set off red flags for everyone who were still under the impression chung myung was still just going through his little 'phase' but i think chung mun was the first who stepped up and actually ASKED chung myung about it.. he pulls chung myung to the side one day and asks WHY chung myung keeps doing the things he does and chung myung frowns and says because im a boy sahyung..DUH.. chung myung explains the best he can but bc he doesnt really know how to articulate himself on these matters (doesnt know any other trans people or experiences outside of his own and cant put it into words properly) and bc chung mun is cis, chung mun is still a little confused but now he understands chung myung isnt like..joking about this, or going through some sort of phase.. he seemed genuinely put out and upset when implied chung mun didnt understand him so from that day forward chung mun very firmly introduces chung myung to everyone in the sect as their littlest brother and that was pretty much that..

it probably took some people a while to wrap their head around, but because i dont want anyone in mt hua to be transphobic LOL they all understand and accept chung myung as their new baby brother pretty quickly and soon they dont even bat an eye seeing him train topless or bathe w the rest of the guys, doing other guy dominated activities, etc.. when he got older it was just normalized that one of their brothers had boobs..literally nobody gaf theyre REAL trans allies.. mount hua most PROGRESSIVE MARTIAL ARTS SECT

also majorly hc chung myung does not have any bodily dysphoria/morphia and is perfectly fine w the way he looks, especially after he gets older and starts building lots of muscle, so he never undergoes any gender affirming surgeries but he does take wuxia testosterone pills.. cuz i think the idea of wuxia magic hormone pills is hilarious and awesome

ive also put some thought into whether cho sams body would be trans or cis, because either could be interesting.. i feel like if cho sam were cis it would actually invoke body image issues and dysphoria in chung myung, having been thrust into a body so unfamiliar & alien to him than the one he spent the most time living in and caring for.. i dont really think too much in depth about this tho so my thoughts on it are pretty vague.. is cho sam cis or trans? (shrugs) up to you!

ummm *scratches ass* i cant think of anything else to say.. trans chung myung is so awesomesauce and i love projecting my own transmasc wants and desires onto him and into a world that accepts and loves him for who he is.. i have more thoughts about his relationship w tang bo and the world around them and how they view him but those are a little more personal and nuanced so i wont get into all dat.... when rotmhs gets more popular i hope trans chung myung hc blows up cuz its sooo real... something something chung myungs reincarnation into cho sam is a trans allegory

[cosmicdream222]

sorry to be morbid again but do you think we can manifest passing away early? im honestly past the point of wanting to exist and just want to get over this thing that im supposed to be a successful person but im not so idrc if i do or dont live

so many ppl on tarot related blogs ask about their fs but if we dont meet them does it matter and would they just move on with their life? like i think u have to have ur life put together but its genuinely so hard to do these days so i hope my fs wont be sad at all when i die cause i wouldnt be able to make tnem truly happy anyway cause im not happy myself with how things have been

ideally i wouldve done something in a sport or music but that ship sailed long ago and now im so stuck but id hate to be reliant on someone else and i shouldve moved out into my own place but housing is ridiculously expensive where im from and taxes dont help anyone. it takes years and years to pick up a talent so i have wasted those years and ik im just going to struggle to get past 50 if i were to have my own place bc minimum wage jobs suck arse and i dont want to be doinng something lame not that its lame for others to do it, its just not what i wanted to have done at all

you cant even get a degree without needing to fork out hundreds and thousands so yeah none of its easy and sure you can try subliminals but lets face it the systemn we are in is fucked up big time so rn i cant even bother with daydream about how it could have been or the what ifs i had done smth differently or if i had any talent but then theres still the, im too old and too foreign to do any sort of music as most successful groups nowadays are korean and even if i tried to do what they did it would probs end up killing me some way or other

its just either about having to be wealthy or having some type of talent both of which id fail at anyway as i shouldve done it years ago like a normal person who goes from being so so at something to being great at something.

i truly think i was born in wrong generation or i just shouldnt have been born at all then i wouldnt have to fret constantly abt these types of things. i think if the government genuinely sorted shit out for once and helped society ppl would be happier to work for less but im not happy at all with the current state of things. i feel guilty for existing and i hate it sm like god just let me end my life pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee there is nothing worthwhile in store, ik we could try shifting subliminals but have those genuinely worked? like u exit this reality and straight into the one you wanted originally? but then i might as well just pass away cause id have to know what i want in another reality

My dude, take a deep breath. You’ve ranted about all this same exact stuff a bunch of times now and I’m just gonna repeat the same thing I said to you last time:

All of that stuff you mentioned about your current reality is an illusion. Time is an illusion. It does not matter what you’ve done in the past. The economy does not matter. Your present circumstances do not matter.

I’ll add to that: Whatever some tarot reader or TikTok psychic says definitely does not matter. Idk what fs means but I’m guessing something like a twin flame and that is especially 1000% bullshit.

The spiritual community has created an incredible amount of false narratives to make excuses and blame outside forces for why things aren’t going their way. None of it is real. Seriously forget everything you learned about fate, karma, astrology, or anything else that’s saying something else is in control. Reality is an illusion. YOU are in control.

You don’t have to identify with any old bullshit anymore. Stop repeating the old story and think about what you do want. You can have literally ANYTHING! You say you don’t know what you want, ok, but you know what you don’t want, right?

I don’t want to work -> I want to live in a reality where I don’t have to work.

There, you just figured out something you want! It’s that simple.

I totally agree that this society is a horrific shitshow and I don’t want to be aware of it anymore either. But it’s just one version of reality available. It’s not the only reality and it’s not the original reality. You don’t have to be aware of it anymore if you don’t want to be.

You also don’t have to involve death at all. There’s a lot of misconception in the shifting world which has lead to concepts like “permashifting” and “respawning”, but those just all assume this current reality is the original one. It’s not.

Have you watched The Matrix? It’s really more like a documentary than science fiction lol. Just like in the movie, we are being tricked by a simulated virtual reality, controlled by a society that’s using us for our energy. Just think of reality as an escape room. We’re escaping the Matrix. Once you figure out how to leave, you don’t ever have to go back. There are infinite realities available to you, and none are more real or right or original than any others. Remember, death is not an ultimate, nor does it exist in all realities.

I am scripting a utopian reality with my best friend where there is no death, aging, or illness. Everyone is a master manifestor so they always get whatever they want. Nobody has to work and there isn’t even a need for money because we can manifest anything instantly. We can just relax and get massages all day. Everyone lives in peace and harmony and abundance. Animals are treated as equals to humans, we can all communicate with each other, and we can all fly and teleport. Because why the f not? 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

And if you really don’t want to exist (I’m guessing that other ask from a couple weeks ago is you too lol) you don’t have to exist in this reality, or any other. Removing your awareness from all physical reality is known as entering the void. You exist there as pure consciousness, and you can stay there as long as you like. It is you as your highest self. There’s nothing negative about it.

As for the whole subliminal thing, shifting subliminals are just one method. Shifting = manifesting = deciding what you want and experiencing it. It’s something we are always doing and is available to all of us. You don’t need any methods to shift besides intention. We just use methods to convince/calm the annoying human brain that is programmed with society’s limits.

[spaceagebachelormann]

Hii am I able to request Dean Portman x M!Reader who is also goth and Bombay’s son? Like how would Bombay and the rest of the team react when they find out Dean and him are dating?

dean with a goth bf who’s bombays son !

✧ warnings: maybe some homophobia (it takes place in the 90s after all), and mentions of people being judgemental towards readers style. also there’s like one sexual joke

✧ additional info: been wanting to write this for awhile now ngl <3, and also reader is on the team because it makes my life easier

✧ nav. — m.list.

i’m gonna be honest

he probably thought you were weird at first cause of the way you would dress

he didn’t say anything abt it though because you were bombays son and he didn’t wanna get kicked off the team so he js kept quiet

but i feel like he eventually starts to think ur cool because he’d talk to u through fulton cause fulton seems like that one mf who’s friends with literally everyone

he finds out ur music taste is the bomb (GOTH MUSIC EATS IDC) and slowly builds a friendship over that

he seems like he would be able to easily recognize his feelings for u

but he has internalized homophobia and hid it because his thought was “he’s hot but in a friend way” (it’s not in a friend way)

i hc that him and julie are close friends so when it starts to frustrate him he goes to her

they talk it out and she helps him realize that he def likes u

“everytime i see him i just wanna grab him and kiss him but like in a friend way” “dean would you flirt with your guy friends” “no?? tf?? oh.” “yeah”

probably takes a week to accept it before realizing this way he can pull both guys and girls

he starts making like subtle moves at u since he knows everyone will just think y’all are joking abt something

he’d probably get annoyed if u don’t catch on 😭

after a week of accepting he likes guys he decides to ask u out cause like what’s he got to lose

it was probably SO random too

y’all are sitting on his bed when suddenly he moves closer and just says “ur hot ngl”

and then he confesses slightly normally and y’all start ur relationship!

now because it’s the 90s and it’s a mlm relationship he becomes so much more protective than if he had a gf

someone looks at you guys weird in public? he’s looking even weirder back. someone calls you guys a certain f slur under their breath? he walks up to them and calls it them to their face

at this point he thinks ur style is so cool and interesting and js wants to show u off a lot

will walk behind u to check u out mainly and so u can have the spotlight

and he will fight anyone who makes fun of you

he’d always have an arm around ur waist or shoulders or on ur thigh for funsies

also probably calls u the names of goth artists cause he thinks it’s funny

u bring him something? “thanks robert smith”

u give him a lil kiss after practice? “why don’t u give me another marilyn manson?”

ALSO IM SORRY IF THEY ARENT GOTH ARTISTS IM VERY NEW TO GOTH MUSIC PLS CORRECT ME IF IM WRONG

as for bombays reaction

dean probably fucking told him by accident during practice 😭

“dean nobody likes when ur get agressive like that—” “OH YEAH? UR SON SURE FUCKIN DOES”

and then everyone js kinda stares at him

and bombay turns to u and then looks at him again before js telling everyone to keep practicing

he pulls y’all aside to talk to u

he’s supportive ofc <3 but he also reminds u to be careful because people aren’t very accepting

but he also knows there isn’t much to worry about cause when ur dating dean ur also probably bsfs with fulton and those two will die before letting anything happen to u

i cant think of anything else rn but i might come back and add to this!