#''oh well i was so depressed i started to cry coming back home'' ok what does that have to do with this. im depressed too but at least im

[succubi-tch]

Jfc I cannot fucking do this

[eimids]

Your worst enemy

Arsenal x reader

Reder is suffering with depression and doesn’t want her teammates to know.

Warnings: depression, mention of suicide (nothing happens tho), HEAVY on the angst, hurt/comfort?

words: around 3k

Your thoughts had been spiraling for a while, first you didn’t even realize it. Starting with only tiredness and some not so good days. You just brushed then off.

Your depression wasn’t back, it couldn’t be it.

Last time it got so bad that you were almost hospitalized. So this time it couldn’t get to that point. You changed your whole life after your last depressive episode. You changed from Manchester United to Arsenal. You cut contact with toxic people in your life, especially your ex.

But without you even realizing, it became more severe. Not having any energy, going to sleep at 9pm and sleeping for almost 12 hours every day. You were also getting irritated really easily. If something didn’t go your way, you were ready to fight (and cry). Practice was the only moment you had to be energetic. You couldn’t let things affect football. You didn’t want to be with your teammates, the bonding nights only seemed like a lot of work to keep a happy surface.

During best days, everything felt almost normal. But just almost. Something felt always off. Sounds were too loud, lights were too brightbut you were happy. You were supposed to be happy. Why couldn’t you just be happy. Everything was good, what did you have in your life for you to be depressed? Absolutely nothing.

You tried your best to not let anyone notice but you failed miserably. Alessia was the first one to notice and tried subtly to talk to you about it. You were closest to her at Arsenal. You transferred with her from Manu so you knew each other from there. Although you were only 19 you and Less where getting along really well. After practice she offered to grab coffee with you, then have a nice girlsnight with her.

“Oh it’ll be fun. We can just go to my apartment to watch some movies and order your favorite food” The older woman tried to convince you.

You were hesitant at her suggestion. After the long day you were already overwhelmed and tired. You just wanted to sleep away the never ending tiredness. You hadn’t had even that long day. Only practice and recovery. Then some quick media stuff. But even that made you exhausted. Wanting to just rot away in your bed you made some excuse for Less.

“I’m sorry i’m just really tired today and I’m gonna have to call to my parents about them coming to visit” You said as casually as you could.

Lessi almost believed it, but she knew something deeper was going on. She’d seen you get more and more tired during the last months and she didn’t really know what to do about it.

“You know you can always talk to me if you have something on your mind?” Less blurted out.

You were pondering your options. You could say that things were ok and not to worry about you. But you could also confess the hard truth. Your depression was back. But Less would have to tell that to Leah and Kim, who were obligated to tell Jonas and the team management.

“I know Less, but I’m doing okay” You said and smiled. Then you just grabbed your kitbag and left the training grounds.

It was already 8pm and it was getting dark. You still didn’t have your drivers license so you couldn’t drive by yourself. You could ask a lift from one of your teammates but most of them had left or were still doing media. Uber felt useless waste of money so you decided to walk home. It was only four kilometers so it wasn’t anything too bad. You started your walk on the quiet roads of England. There was some pubs and bars you walked past to. Hearing the usual catcalls from some gross old men. You tried to ignore them you put your music louder in your headphones and continued walking.

Your phone was on ‘do not disturb’ mode as you continued your walk. You didn’t really notice anything around you. Not even truly caring about anything. You just wanted the numbness and tiredness to go away. Somehow you managed to get to your apartment. You took your shoes off and walked straight to your bed. Not caring that you were still wearing your day clothes. Your apartment was a mess so you didn’t even bother to look for any other clothes.

The next day you woke up and it was already 10am. Another 12 hours had passed with your sleeping. You knew you were going to be late but still didn’t bother to get up. You decided to check your phone only to find 3 missed calls from Less and texts.

Lessi🤍

8.47pm

Viv said you didn’t ride with her back home? Don’t say you walked! I could’ve driven you home..

9.12pm

Please answer to me that you are okay y/n. I just want to know you got home safely.

10.39pm

I really hope you are already asleep at your house. I’m worried please call me when you can.

You were alarmed when you heard something from your kitchen. You quickly got up and went to look for the sound. Your kitchen was cleaned, the living room was cleaned, what was happened.

Alessia. She stood there in your kitchen making you breakfast. You were confused about everything even though you had given Less your spare keys.

“Morning y/n, we need to have a talk” Less just said. Clearly not happy.

“Well yeah, you can’t just show up to my apartment” You answered.

“Yea I can when I’m worried sick about you. I asked almost everyone on the team if they had taken you home but no. Did you walk home? You can’t be that reckless, something could’ve happened. So when you didn’t answer I decided to come over to see what’s going on. I’m glad I found you safely home, sleeping” Less started her lecture.

“I didn’t walk” You lied. “I ordered an uber and got home safely” You continued with the lies. You could see the anger and worry on Alessia’s face turn to guilt. “I was tired and didn’t want to bother anyone so I just ordered the uber. You don’t have to worry about me Less, I’m okay” You said with a smile. You were trying to be convincing although all that came from your mouth was lies.

“Oh i’m so sorry y/n. I don’t know what got to me but you’ve been acting weird lately and I just got so worried when you didn’t answer. Maybe I should get going, I’m sorry again” Alessia said and started to grab her things.

You stopped her by hugging her. You weren’t mad at her, although you didn’t want her to be worried about you, I felt nice to know that she cared about you. “You can stay Less, have breakfast with me” You said to her softly.

So she did. You ate your breakfast in a comfortable silence and then talked about your next match that you were going to have in couple days. You were supposed to leave to Manchester later that day. After you ate, Less grabbed her stuff again and left. You were happy with yourself that you convinced her that everything was okay.

You and Alessia both missed the team meeting of that morning but were on time to get to your bus to leave to Manchester. You got a little lecture from Jonas but didn’t really care. Wasn’t the first time.

On the bus most of your teammates were on the back of the bus listening to music and chatting. You however were sitting in the front. Headphones in listening to Taylor Swift and trying to sleep. It wasn’t hard with how exhausted you were. Sleep came nowadays always easily.

At some point you were woken by Kim sitting next to you. You tried to just act like you were sleeping but the skipper knew better.

“I know you’re awake y/n. Why don’t you come to the back of the bus with the others and have some fun, you have missed a lot of team bonding nights lately and the girls miss your company” Kim stated to you. You could hear Katie singing in the back of the bus and laughed a little.

“Okay I can come for a while. But I really need my beauty sleep” You tried to joke. Kim laughed a little before walking back to her seat. You followed her and were welcomed with teasing from your teammates.

“Well good to see you y/l/n, feels like I haven’t seen you in ages” Katie teased as she saw you walking to the back of the bus. “Come sit next to me” She continued.

You really didn’t want to hear the teasing from Katie but decided to still take the seat next to her. In front of you were Beth and Viv. In the next booth of four were Less, Leah and Kyra. Music was blasting and you saw as Katie was filming a tiktok about the her day. She filmed you in it with the something along ‘She’s alive’. You smiled for the camera but actually you wanted to cry. You were tired af the teasing. You were tired of everyone fussing about you. Why couldn’t you just enjoy some peace and quiet.

You zoned out for a while and next thing you realize was that Leah was gently waking you up.

“Wake up sleepy” Leah said quietly and smiled to you.

“Oh sorry I didn’t mean to fall asleep” You said while looking around. Everyone else had left the bus, you were at your hotel.

Leah just hummed and helped you get your stuff and then walked with you to the entrance. Your teammates were sorting out rooms. You were hoping to get a room for yourself all alone. When you’re name was called at last you found out that you were paring with Leah. Kim and Leah changed looks that you didn’t notice.

Some of your teammates, mainly Viv, Beth and Less had went and talked to your skippers about your weird behavior. They had all noticed the signs of depression. Especially Less who had known you when you had your latest episode. They had made a small plan to get you to talk. Leah would be rooming with you, Kim would encourage you to be more with the other girls. Viv and Beth where just like parents who took notice about your behavior and made sure that you took care of yourself. They didn’t want to talk to you yet about it. They want you to come talk to them, or to anyone at that matter.

The rest of the day was a blur. You had a practice on the pitch, some recovery in cold pool, dinner. At practice you were almost benched because you were playing recklessly. Taking stupid risks and tackling people. A lot of your tackles were not even towards others, more so you could get yourself hurt. They were stupid and you knew it but just didn’t care.

After dinner your head was a mess. You felt overwhelmed and you couldn’t really take a notice of your surroundings. Kyra was walking next to you to the elevator. For the next couple of hours you were supposed to spend time with your teammates. You knew you had to show your face there for people not to get suspicious but you were in a bad mental state and just wanted to be alone. You walked hand in hand to the meeting room where pretty much everyone was in already. You smiled and talked for a while before trying to make an excuse to leave.

“Don’t leave yet, you just came here” Viv said to you. Trying to find someone else in the room who was in on the plan. She saw Leah and waved her over.

“I’m just not really in a mood to be here, I was thinking about having a shower and just going to sleep” You answered. Not having the energy to make up excuses.

“Y/n it’s not even 6pm, can’t you just stay here with us for a little while longer?” Leah asked hopefully.

Everything was just too much for you. The music in the background, Leah and Viv asking too many questions. Your breathing started to pick up pace. You knew that if you didn’t get away now, you would most likely end up having a panic attack. So you left. Without a word to Leah or Viv. You just turned around and walked away. You ran to your room and quickly closed the door. You fell to the ground and couldn’t help the tears in you eyes starting to spill.

You hated it, hated it all. You hated your mind for not being normal. You hated yourself for not accepting help from the other who clearly were just worried about you. You hated your teammates for trying to help. You hated the feeling in your head that just didn’t go away. You just hated it all.

Leah and your other teammates decided to give you some time for a while. Letting you calm down. But they all knew that they needed to do something. Leah and Kim decided to talk to the team management the first thing the following day. They knew you needed help and couldn’t watch on the side as you were slowly ruining yourself. After sometime Leah decided to come back to your shared room. She expected to find you sleeping but was concerned when you weren’t in the room. She checked the bathroom but no. You weren’t there. She got worried quickly. Her mind went first to the worst scenarios. Did something happen to you, did yo do something to yourself, was it too late for her to come look for you, she was blaming herself instantly.

“She isn’t hear” Leah said in a panicked voice as soon as Kim answered her call.

“What do you mean Leah?” Kim asked worriedly.

“She isn’t in our room, what if something has happened” Leah worried.

“Okay let’s not panic yet. Come back to the team room and we’ll make a plan” Kim said to Leah. Being the captain she knew she had to stay calm. They talked as Leah walked back to the team room. Kim had asked most of the girls to go back to their rooms and have a chill night. Not wanting to consern them.

Viv, Beth, Katie, Alessia, Leah and Kim were the ones to stay. They knew you the best and right now all they wanted was to find you.

“Has anyone called her?” Beth asked.

“Well yeah but she didn’t answer, it went straight to voicemail” Leah answered.

“She’s an adult and can leave if she wants, right now there isn’t much we can do unfortunately. Leah I suggest you go back to your room and see if y/n comes back. Inform us immediately if she comes, Viv and Beth can you go to the restaurant and bar to check if y/n’s there?” Kim started to make a plan.

Kim, Less and Katie stayed in the teamroom. Alessia was crying. She knew how bad it could get for you. Last time, about two years ago, she and Ella Toone had found you on the roof of the hotel, ready to jump. After that you started to get better. You were put on antidepressants and went to therapy for a year. She was happy that you were getting better. She didn’t want to believe the signs of depression when she first noticed them again. She didn’t want you to go through that again.

The team didn’t have to look for a long time before you showed up back in your room where Leah was pacing around. She stopped immediately when she heard the door open. Next she saw you with tears in your eyes standing there. Looking so fragile.

“I think I need help Leah, please help me” You said with the tiniest voice, lips quivering but Leah heard you. She came running to you before you collapsed on her embrace. You cried as she carried you to the bed and then continued to let you cry against her.

She quickly found her phone in her pocket and sent a quick text to Kim that you were back. Then she ignored the respond she got and just continued to hug you.

“I’m here for you and I’m going to get you the help you need” Leah whispered in your ear.

—

This was supposed to be longer but I don’t really know how to continue this so I might do a part 2 where reader sorts with the aftermath about everything. Would you be interested in part 2?

[fayesia]

Hello, I hope this doesn't bother you but I had an idea for mike schmidt. Imagine him and the reader are fighting and the reader leaves him. Ever since the reader left him he starts to loose his mind cause he needs the reader to function. Abby notices her brother's situation so she makes it her mission to get him and the reader back together.

Short and Sweet — mike schmidt x reader

a/n: Hiii ofc u r not bothering me! Thank you for the request, congrats you’re the first one so i’m very much appreciative!!! I hope i did justice to your idea, again i’m kind of new to all of this but hopefully you like it :D

“god your so selfish do you even think before you act!!”

You can feel the eyes of people passing by as they return to their cars and pack away their shopping. Except you don’t care, not when this is the third time Mike has forgotten to pick Abby up from school.

“come on at least say something!”

“GODDAMNIT, i’m sorry ok!!”

“well sorry’s not enough Mike! Because when i get home from work and she comes running into my arms having already had a bad day at school it’s on you for making it worse” you exclaim back to him slamming the car door shut.

He does the same, quickly started the engine and driving with rough movements.

“oh yeah, now what? you’re gonna get us both in a car crash, leave your sister alone again-“

“oh my god ENOUGH OK shut up!!”

You fumble with your fingers looking out the window, not in sadness or fear but rather an immense amount of anger. You knew that your emotions would take over your response and you were not going to cry in front of Mike as if what he said effected you.

He parks in the driveway, opens the trunk to collect the groceries and rushes through the front door. You follow after him entering the bedroom and collecting all your things from the closet and bathroom. carrying your duffel bag, you make your way retrieving any items left around the house. Your wallet, keys, shoes and a picture of you and abby are collected as you leave back outside to your car parked across the road.

Sitting down in the drivers seat you stare blankly ahead slowly lowering your head to rest against the steering wheel, soft crys quickly turning into loud sobs that rack through your body. They continue until you reach your apartment, gloomily walking into the place you haven’t been in for months, having spent most days of the week at Mikes house. This place doesn’t feel homely like his though, rather it’s cold and depressing reflecting how you felt right now, which really wasn’t helping.

You’re pulled away from these thoughts as your phone starts ringing. ‘Abby bear’ flashes on your screen as you clear your throat to remove any hints of you crying.

“Hi Abby what’s up?”

“why did you leave” her shaky voice almost has you in tears again.

“what did mike say honey? i’m not leaving forever i just needed to get some stuff from my place”

“he said you were gonna be gone for awhile but would come back. I think he’s lying though his eyes are all red like he’s been crying and he hasn’t moved from your spot on the couch”.

As you listen to her soft voice explain all of this more tears drop down to your chin.

“i’m sorry abby i just think we need a break from each other i don’t know for how long but its something that needed to happen sooner rather than later. I promise i’ll come by and visit you soon, maybe Friday for this weeks movie night?”

“Yayy ok sounds good”

“i have to go now sweetie but make sure you finish all your homework and then you can relax”

“ok byee y/n love u”

“bye abby bear i love you too”

ending the call, you’re left with a gut wrenching feeling spending the rest of the evening crying yourself to sleep on the couch. pitiful? maybe. but you really needed this and now was the right time.

While you spent hours sleeping the pain away, Mike was basically doing the same thing. Abby walked up to him handing him a tub of ice cream “i heard from a movie that eating ice cream makes you less sad after a breakup”

“that’s not true Abby”

her face drops a little at this, Mike quickly trying to cover up his mistake.

“but thank you, why don’t we both eat ice cream and watch a movie”

“ok!!” she settles herself next to him, cuddling into his side with blankets strewn across their laps.

Abby was not very knowledgeable about breakups, only being ten years old herself, and the most she experienced in the romance department was having a crush on the fastest runner in her class.

She did know however that the way Mike was acting was not healthy for him. He spent hours on the couch or in bed, barely eating and if he wasn’t doing that then he would be at work or picking Abby up from school, sometimes they would go and get frozen yogurt which Abby loved the most. She just wished you were there with them like before, when the three of you would go together and spend hours having fun at park.

Abby knew she had to do something, anything she could to get things back to the way they were and she knew just the way to do that.

It had been a week since the break up and neither you or mike seemed to be doing to well in Abby’s opinion but she had a plan set up and tonight she was putting it into action.

Mike received a message from you, his eyes widening as he read, “meet at the park 6pm” a short and simple text. Effective too with the way Mike jumped up running to the closet to pull out his nicest shirt and trousers, and then to the bathroom to shower and prepare him for the night to come.

Abby giggled to herself as she heard the commotion from her brother, taking his phone she started phase two of the plan.

‘bzzz’ you flayed your arm around in an attempt to grab your phone, a yelp coming from your throat as you read the message on the screen. A singular sentence from Mike that read, “meet at the park 6pm”. You expected to read more but that seemed to be it. Short and sweet. You layed out a simple long sleeve top and your favourite pair of jeans, readying yourself for an everything shower.

Soon it was 5:55 and both you and Mike climbed up opposite ends of the hill to the park situated right at the top. There in the middle was a bench and that bench was surrounded by rose petals, with a rose bouquet in the middle, and the bench itself was surrounded by mini lights illuminating the area with a gentle yellow tone similar to the sky’s as the sun set. All of this of course was done courtesy of Abby and you were quick to realise when mikes face was filled with shock when stumbling over one of the yellow lamps, it was clear he was not the one who had set this up. However that didn’t matter to you, the feeling of being swept off your feet into Mikes arms instead was all you were thinking about. He pulled you close to his chest whispering how sorry he was over and over again into your hair as your head rested against his chest, listening to his rapid heartbeat. You silently basked in the feeling of his comfort you dearly missed for that lonesome week the two of you spent apart, not quite ready yet to utter the words ‘i forgive you’ and he knew that after all the hateful words he’d said.

Instead you both sat together on the bench looking out at the setting sun, content with each other presence and no words. As nightfall was falling upon the park Mike grabbed your hand “gotta get back now, Abby will be waiting” he brushed your hand with his thumb for awhile almost hesitant to say something as you waited patiently. “do you want to come?” you break out into a smile, “of course, i always want to go with you”, you reply already dragging him by the arm to the directions of his house.

His house which you knew inside had a very nervous ten year old girl who would see you both walk through the door holding hands and celebrate the most out of all of you.

~unedited~

[weebsinstash]

Ok so tmi (on the tmi blog lol) but the first day of my Cycle I had a dream that I had just given birth and I was holding my baby and I was goddamn euphoric even though the logical part of me was like “???? I am 22 and broke i CANNOT have a baby rn” and I woke up crying and called my friends like I WANNA HAVE A BAAAAAABYYYYY I WANT A BAAAAAAABYYYYYYYY so basically. Imagine. Miguel catches you in a moment of weakness. And he NEVER. FUCKING. FORGETS IT.

Oh wow girlie those period hormones grabbed you by the uterus and absolutely REFUSED to let go

NO BUT FOR REAL don't look at me but I've been thinking of a concerning number of ideas where it's like, "Reader suddenly realizes they may want a baby and is actually putting serious thought into it and Miguel finds out (bet your ass Peter B tells him, i can see him as a "well intentioned" platonic guardian/mentor figure who sells you out to Miguel the second he thinks you're doing something risky or he thinks it's for your own good) and Miguel starts making all these plans and preparations behind your back to have a baby with you" and obviously I like the extra juicy option of "he found out you got extremely depressed and tied your tubes or something because you either see no point in you having a kid/think it's too late, OR, Miguel was the only person you were looking at as a potential father and you either decide it wouldn't work out or he does something to hurt you and you lose trust in him" so like, the double whammy combo of him being hit with the news you basically walled off your fertility that he's kinda fantasizing about AND you blame him for it

You see him chokeslam Miles on the train and having all these serious anger and stress issues and you're like "hmmmm don't like that" and basically make the tubal ligation appointment that week (but, you know, he'll either interfere before you can actually get it or even reverse it later on)

Like. Ugh I'm not sure if I should go super into detail bc I feel like I want to put this scene in the YouTwo fic or in a different idea i have thats more centered around motherhood, but, picture he catches you in his monitor room one day after you've lost your home dimension, you're having a little more than just a small identity crisis, and he catches you having Lyla show you the model for your life, or what the algorithm had predicted your life was supposed to be like before your universe just magically poofed away. You're just staring at these holograms with tears running down your face and he occasionally catches you starting to reach out like you want to touch what you see. He comes to stop you because he already knows all too well where this could lead, you can't become tempted to break canon and go somewhere else, but you beg him to let you watch just a little longer

"I was supposed to get MARRIED! I was supposed to have a BABY! I was supposed to have a family!! It's not fair!!"

And he's in total agreement with you because, who even fucking knows why your universe suddenly destabilized and vanished. He sees you as this person who has so much promise and potential who had their destiny and future literally snatched away from them and now you're lost and confused on what you're supposed to do, like really he totally understands why you feel so aimless. But watching these holograms is like torturing yourself, and he goes to stop you when you just keep crying because this is basically sending you into a critical mental health episode

"Someone was supposed to fall in love with me... we were supposed to have a baby... would I have been a good mom? Would I have had a boy or a girl? Cant you at least let me find out what my daughter's name would have been?"

And it's like NOOOO you can't hit him with the daughter card, don't you see what you've DONE!!! Gets him right in the heart. Now he's got this massive soft spot for you, bigger than it already was anyways, and he can tell over time you're just really starting to, grieve the future you were supposed to have, falling into a depression. Peter B is hanging around with Mayday like he usually does as both men can tell you're really staring at his baby today and he offers to teach you how to hold her. you're standing there misty eyed twirling one of her little curls around your finger as her dad starts volunteering information to you, "you know she's about XYZ months old now, they aren't really talking yet at this age but they're really curious about their surroundings and--"

Miguel watches as you start talking about children and suddenly get this really really tortured expression and just say "it's not meant to happen" and or some combination of "it's too late for me" and gives him his baby back a little too quickly in typical "I am clearly leaving the room to go cry" fashion. Meanwhile Peter B is like 38 wondering why you think you're out of time or it's not supposed to happen

Miguel's working one day and Peter is trying to shove his phone in his face, "you know I think this is one of the BEST photos of Mayday I've ever taken, she's looking so cute here, you just GOTTA see it" and Pete just won't let up and Miguel finally looks just to humor him because the man is being unusually annoying and, it's a photo of Mayday, duh, but being held by you, and you're clearly looking down at her with watering eyes and the smallest little smile that says "I'll die for you" and Peter is just all 😏 as Miguel is 'suddenly' interested in the photo. "That's a really good photo of MAYDAY, right? 😏 I figured you would like it, that photo of MAYDAY 😏" and Miguel is just grumbling and grouchy bc he sees what this guy is tryna do, but he's still like ".... send it to me later, I'm trying to work right now"

It's even worse if you're a member of his strike force because you're constantly around him, Peter B, and Jess. Miguel just, idly wondering where you are and deciding to walk around a little bit and eventually finds that you're having some sort of conversation with Peter B and Jess and he can tell you look really weepy as the other woman invites you to feel her baby kicking, like, you could not more obviously be developing baby fever, and you ARE around that age, and ESPECIALLY if you live in Nueva York because it's like, YEAH you're still a Spider and YEAH you help the Society with stuff but. Your home universe is gone, your canon is gone, you're kind of. Free as a bird really? But you're also scared because, if someone was destined to love you, does that mean it technically isn't meant to be to fall for anyone else? You can't exactly hook up with people at the Spider Society because of canon or them already having relationships, and you don't exactly have identifying documents if you wanted to try and adopt

I think it'd really reach a stressful breaking point if you and the strike force go to another universe to fight an anomaly and Miguel catches you staring out into the crowd of people you just saved and he sees what youre looking at instantly and his heart sinks. Another you, another normal you, never bitten by a Spider, is standing there with her husband and her little sputtering baby, and he has to all but drag you away as you cry "it's not fair, it's not fair, why does SHE get a normal life!!"

Sidebar for a moment, I think that's probably also one thing that would be so INFURIATING about the doppelganger stealing your life story because THEY have a home universe and YOU don't. They take your life, they take literally everything you have left, your friends, your sense of community, your literal purpose. I've already decided on YTs motivations but could you imagine you finding out YouTwo actually has a decent life and maybe even a husband and kid of their own and you're just furious because they're basically abandoning their duties back home not only as a Spider but as a parent/spouse to steal what YOU have? You can't kill them because it would break their canon and kill like countless people but Miguel and the others would def let you beat the shit out of your evil double and get some of your anger out. Like. Jesus could you imagine Miguel kicks you out thinking you're the fake and after you're gone, YouTwo breaks canon and that's what exposes them, or theyre exposed when they eventually take a trip back home and get caught. The Society's regret, the guilt, the anger, just marinate me with the drama

But anyways back to Being Sad and Babycrazy, you go missing one day and Miguel has to decide what to do when he finally tracks your bracelet and you're back in THAT dimension again. He has to physically track you down using your bracelet's signal because you refuse to answer his messages and you're, in the home of the other you while she takes a brief nap, in the nursery, holding her baby. Miguel quietly climbs through the window and you're in a rocking chair and you've got her hugged to your chest and your eyes are closed and you sense him and, obviously cry because you know you have to leave. Unlike with the holograms he doesn't give you any leeway on this, putting his foot down that this has to end here, this cant go on, this is already so dangerous. And, you're good for him and understand, leaving the baby back in its crib as you and Miguel warp away. You're heartbroken but ultimately understanding when he has to disable your watch's ability to visit that specific dimension again, and you're obviously extremely depressed for a while, having multiple Spiders coming to check in on you as word spreads around that you aren't doing well

I can just see Reader becoming kind of desperate because the only options for a baby you really have left is to either 1. get a serious relationship, which you're scared of because you have to trust that person and who can you even pick, you're nervous about breaking canon or something, or 2. Get some random person to impregnate you so you can run off with the baby

Miguel gets a call from Peter B that you went to a bar and you're EXTREMELY wasted as you try to pick someone, ANYONE up and like, you have admirers for sure but there's enough decent people around to keep the creeps in line, clearly you are in a vulnerable state of mind right now, and Miguel gets to tote your drunken ass back home as you drunkenly word vomit all your feelings to him because, unfortunately for you, he has your trust, and you need comfort right now, and you even ask him about what being a parent was like for him. You encouragingly tell him he shouldn't give up if he still wants kids, you trying to be genuinely nice and not trying to imply anything, blubbering about how he deserves to still be happy and he's still got time, and here's Miguel who's practically tracking your cycles at this point, TOTALLY not going to use anything you say to him while you're piss-drunk against you

Especially if you add ABO into the mix and you have a Miguel who's either Alpha/Omega and is already babycrazy af and he sees you literally fucking YEARNING for it, like. You've got a 6'9" Alpha basically looking at you, his poor lil Omega crush, with the big yandere goo goo eyes and how you need all this love and support and stability and how you're in need of a proper husband and of course he's all too willing to volunteer himself for the job. Even if he's too awkward to come right out to you and say it, he'll be thinking in his head and planning behind your back ways to take care of you, keep you away from any drugs/alcohol (no more smoking weed with metro boomin Spiderman, you've gotta detox your body to have a baby! Also, different concept but, Miguel basically keeping you in a bubble to control all your meals and recreational activities and all of that so he can make sure you're perfectly healthy for a baby)

Don't let this man catch you slipping up! Throw you to the Spider Society and you'll come back pregnant 😭 he sees you so depressed and wanting a baby and it's like well, if your life needs new meaning, he can help literally make one for you 😏 he's been feeling protective and nurturing of you anyways, so, it's an extra benefit for him to think of getting to have both you AND a little baby of your very own ❤️

[jpmarvel90]

Coming Home - Part 2

Masterlist Scarlett Masterlist

Part 1

Relationship: Scarlett x ex Reader

Summary: Part two to Coming home

Word Count: 3414

Scarlett’s POV:

A month after we received news about Y/n, a funeral was held for her. I buried an empty coffin in the military graveyard and heard people talk about her heroic actions which ultimately led to her death. Her body wasn’t found. When they returned to a few days later they just found a pool of dried blood. It was believed that the Taliban had taken her body. As no ransom or demands had come through, the Military had declared her as killed in action.

The months following were difficult. I returned to work, but it felt like I was just working through the motions. It was like I had lost ever desire to live my life to the fullest. Y/n was always on my mind, and I was constantly reminded that I lost her long before she died and that I had no one to blame but myself.

We had recently started filming Age of Ultron and we had new cast members and I found it so hard to build any relationship with them. I was isolating myself and I didn’t need anyone. After a long day of filming, I was in my trailer, looking at photos of Y/n and I from when we were growing up. A knock at my door pulled me out of my thoughts and I shuffled towards the door to find Lizzie Olsen stood smiling at me.

Her smile suddenly drops as she looks at me. “Oh God, Scarlett, are you crying? Is everything ok?” She asked concerned. I hadn’t even realised that tears had been falling. I was so used to that feeling now. I quickly wiped them away and assured her that I was ok. “Look Scarlett, I know that we’re not exactly close, but I’m here if you ever need to talk. I know that you’ve gone through a loss, and I want to be there to help you.” She said with such warmth.

I smiled and moved to the side so she could join me. I spent the evening telling her all about Y/n and how I had left her like I did and then seeing her again before she died. It felt really good to talk through everything. I hadn’t realised that it had all been bottled up and talking about it had actually helped. Lizzie was really understanding and caring. She sat and let me bore her with photos and stories of Y/n. I actually felt bad for not making more of an effort when she first joined.

Over the next few weeks, I found myself healing gradually as I learnt to talk through my feelings. I still felt this unbearable pain, but I was able to carry on with my life. Lizzie had become a really close friend and I was extremely grateful for all her support. If she hadn’t come to my door that night, I know I would have fallen even further into my depression.

Since the funeral, I had avoided going back to New York as much as I could. But I knew I should go back and see both my parent’s as well as Y/n’s. Lizzie had decided to come with me for support. But I had to make the trip to Y/n’s parents on my own. I was stood on their doorstep and was hesitant to knock. I eventually found the courage to do so and was greeted by Henry.

He looked older and tired. I can’t imagine what it must have been like to lose a daughter. When he saw me, he smiled and pulled me into a big hug. “I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner.” I said ashamed. “You’re here now. That’s all that matters. Please come in.” He said, guiding me into the living room. I greeted Mary and we spent some time catching up over a cup of coffee.

“I’m glad you came. We actually have something to give you.” Henry explained as he got up and left the room. I looked at Mary with a confused look. Once Henry rejoined us, he sat in front of me. “After the funeral, we were given Y/n’s belongings by the Army. At first, we weren’t able to bring ourselves to go through it. The pain was too much. But we finally had the courage to do so this weekend and within the belongings was this. We were going to send it on to you, but I’m glad you’re here to we can give it to you in person.” He explained as he passed me an envelope.

It was addressed to me. I ran my fingers over the familiar handwriting writing on the front. Tears prickling in my eyes. “She was due to send it the day she was killed.” He explained and I nodded as the tears dropped onto my lap. I placed it into my bag, wanting to read it when I got home.

I spent a bit more time with the Y/l/ns and made the short journey back to my house. I was greeted by Lizzie who was cooking dinner. “Oh, you’re back. How did it go?” She asked. I showed her the unopened letter. “This was in her belongings. She was going to send it the day she died.” I said, trying to stifle a cry. Lizzie pulled me into a hug and rubbed her hand up and down my back. “I’ll give you some space.” She said, returning to the kitchen.

I made my way into my bedroom and pulled the blanket up over me as I just stared at the letter. I had no idea what would be in here. What if it was her telling me to stop writing to her or saying that she didn’t want me in her life. The few letters she had sent to me whilst she was away, were very short. I had the fight in my head over whether to open it or not, but eventually decided I had to read it for my own closure. My hands were shaking as I opened the envelope and pulled out the letter.

My dear Scarlett,

I have re-written this letter so many times. I’ve never been very good at putting my feelings out there. But I feel compelled to do so. So, this is me trying to share the thoughts in my head. When I first started to receive your letters, I’ll admit that I didn’t read them at first. I felt like there was nothing you could say that I would want to hear. But over time, you were starting to take up more and more of my thoughts.

When I finally started to read them, I felt my heart break all over again. It reminded me of the woman I had fallen in love with as a teenager. The kind hearted and caring person I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. I relieved the pain of slowly losing you when you moved to LA. That’s why I didn’t respond for a while and the letters you did get were lacking.

I found that I started to look forward to your letters. Hearing you talking about our memories and the reasons that we fell in love, reminded me of the happy times and I was finally starting to feel the pain be replaced with the love I had once felt for you. And let’s be honest. I don’t think I ever stopped loving you. I just buried it deep down to protect myself.

With each letter I believe more and more that you do still love and care for me and that you truthfully want to give this another try. When I come home, I think we need to talk properly. Because if there is any chance that I can get back the relationship we once had, before it all went to shit, I want to grab it with both hands and never let go.

So, if you’ll have me, I want us to try again. I want to get to know you again and go on dates and feel the effect of falling in love with you all over again. Because the feelings of love that I have for you are like a drug and I can’t live without it.

I love you Scarlett. Always have, always will.

Yours always,

Y/n

As I read the letter, I couldn’t help the cries that left my mouth. It was pure agony to see her feelings written in front of me. She wanted to try again, she still loved me. But life cruelly took away the opportunity for us to be reunited to start again. It was like reliving her death all over again and I couldn’t stand the pain. I felt a pair of arms around me as Lizzie held me and quietly hushed me, rocking me gently.

When I finally started to calm down, I handed her the letter and watched as her own eyes filled with tears as she read Y/n’s admission. “Scar, I can’t imagine how you must be feeling. I know that right now nothing probably will make you feel better. But you have spent the last few months believe that she had died angry and hurt with you. Instead, she died loving you, knowing that you loved her. Please try and take some solace in that.” She spoke so softly but she was right.

I can live my life knowing that I had her. She was mine and I was hers, even if we didn’t get the chance to reunite in person. We both knew our feelings and that’s what mattered. Lizzie just held me that evening whilst I would go through my phases of crying and re-reading the letter.

We stayed in New York for a few more days and I spent more time with Y/n’s parents which was nice. I felt close to her. I was currently packing up ready for our flight back to LA this evening. My phone had been ringing but I had ignored it as I wanted to focus on getting everything ready to leave. I didn’t want any distractions right now. Just as I had closed up my bag and was carrying down the stairs, there was loud banging on the front door.

Lizzie came out of the living room to see what the noise was. I quickly went to the door and opened it to see my mom stood there out of breath. “Don’t you answer you damn phone now?” She asked frustrated. “I was packing, what’s wrong?” I asked confused. “I can’t believe I’m actually saying this. But they found Y/n. Alive.” I was frozen to the spot at her words. My mom just stood there staring at me. She’s alive!

Lizzie’s hand on my shoulder pulled me from my trance. “How? Is she ok?!” I asked frantically, needing to know more. “They found her when they attacked an enemy compound. They had found her injured and taken her hostage. She’s in pretty bad shape but she’s back here in the US. She’s in a hospital in Georgia.” She explained and I could feel my mind racing at a hundred miles an hour.

“Maybe we should change our flights to Georgia.” Lizzie said with a smile. I nodded and was quickly on my phone with my manager to arrange flights. We managed to get on a flight 3 hours later and the whole journey from New York my mind wouldn’t stop. I didn’t know what was waiting for us when we got there. Y/n’s parents were already in Georgia and had text me with the hospital and room number.

I was glad to have Lizzie with me again. I don’t think I could have done this on my own. This must be pretty weird for her, rushing across the country to the side of a woman she’s never met. When we finally arrived at the hospital, I found myself frozen in the car we had hired. “I don’t think I can go in.” I whispered. Lizzie leant over and took my hand in hers. “But Y/n is in there. Don’t you want to see her?” She asked confused.

I did more than anything want to see her but I was terrified. “What if she’s so badly hurt that she’s going to die again. I can’t lose her again.” I said, starting to cry. God I was sick of crying! Lizzie hugged me and let me calm down. “The woman that you love is in that hospital. The woman you thought was dead. You’ve been given a second chance to at least see her. Don’t miss out on this opportunity or you’re going to regret it more than leaving her 6 years ago.” Lizzie spoke wisely and I nodded in agreement.

I grabbed a hold of Lizzie’s hand as we made our way through the hospital. We eventually made it to the ward Y/n was on and we were stood outside of her hospital room. I turned to Lizzie and smiled, taking a deep breath before opening the door.

I couldn’t believe the sight that greeted me. Y/n was awake in bed, with her parents either side. I was completely speechless. Y/n turned to look at me with the biggest smile on her face and it made my heart soar. He eyes flicked down to my hand which was holding Lizzie’s and he face instantly dropped and she turned to look back to her mom. I quickly dropped Lizzie’s hand and tentatively made my way towards her bed.

“Y-You’re alive.” I breathed out, tears falling whilst I had a huge smile on my face. Y/n just nodded. Her expression felt cold, she couldn’t even hold eye contact with me. “I think I’ll go and grab some drinks. Can I get you any Mr and Mrs Y/l/n?” Lizzie asked, breaking the awkward silence. “You know what, I think we’ll come with you Lizzie.” Mary responded. “Do you want anything sweetheart?” She asked Y/n who just shook her head. Mary placed a kiss on her forehead, and it was soon just the two of us.

I reached out and took her hand in mine and placed a kiss on it. “I can’t believe you’re here. This last 6 months has been horrible without you. Losing you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through.” I said but she didn’t respond. “Can you say something?” I almost pleaded. She cleared her throat, and I could tell she was trying to not cry. “She’s very pretty. I’m happy for you.” She forced out. “Do you mean Lizzie?” I asked confused. “Ah so that’s her name.” She replied. “Scar and Lizzie, has a nice ring to it.” She muttered.

It then hit me. “Wait, no we’re not together. She’s just my friend, she’s been supporting me through all of this. You’re the only person I want to be with.” I rushed out, not wanting her to think we were together any longer than she already had. “Really?” She asked and her voice broke as she said it. I stood up and leaned over cupping her bruised face in my hands. “I am so madly in love with you. I couldn’t even think of anyone else the same way. The moment I found out you were dead, a part of me died too. When I read your letter last week, my heart ached knowing that we had missed our chance to be together again. But now you’re here in front of me.” I cried and she placed her hands over my own.

“I never stopped loving you Y/n. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, showing how much I love and adore you. I will do anything for you. I’ll even follow you around the world whilst you’re in the Army. I just want to be with you.” I spoke honestly and Y/n let out a chuckle through a sob. “God, I love you too. You are the reason I’m still alive. I knew I had to fight to stay alive so I could see you again. To hold you to kiss you.” At those words, I quickly crashed my lips into hers.

The kiss was passionate and full of every feeling I wanted to convey to her. As I pulled away, her eyes were still shut, and she whispered. “Wow.” I chuckled and rested my forehead against her. “I’m never leaving you again. I will follow you where you are.” I promised and she smiled. “Well, you won’t have to follow me far.” She said and I looked at her confused. “What do you mean?” I asked. “I’m being medically discharged from the army. My leg is busted, and I had to have a kidney removed. I’ll make a full recovery, but not one to be medically fit for the army.” She clarified. I could tell there was a hint of sadness in her eyes.

She had managed to achieve so much in her career and from speaking with her parents she loved her job. There was a selfish part of me that was happy she would be safe. But I hated the thought that she was losing something she loved. “I’m so sorry Y/n. But I’ll still be by your side. Wherever you are.” I placed another soft kiss on her lips and took the seat next to her. “I just don’t know what I’ll do next.” She said and I just smiled that she was thinking about that whilst still in a hospital bed. “Come to LA with me?” I said as more of a question, but I meant it. Her head snapped to look at me. “What?” She asked.

“Come with me. We’re near the end of filming, you can come and live with me, and I can help you with your recovery. But most importantly we can be together, and you’ll have time to work out what you want to do next.” I explained, sure of what I wanted. “To be clear, are you asking me to move in with you?” She said with a smile, and I nodded enthusiastically. “I told you. I’m not letting you go again.” She smirked and replied. “Then yes, I would love to move in with you.” She said and I squealed at her response.

I jumped up and locked our lips once again. I would never get tired of that feeling. She moved over in the bed and tapped next to her to indicate for me to join her. I carefully sat on the bed and held her close to me. We started into each other’s eyes as I rubbed my thumb along her cheek. We gave each other kisses every now and then as we just enjoyed being in each other’s company again. I could believe she was alive and with me again.

“So, you guys have made up then.” I turned around and saw Lizzie and Y/n’s parents stood on the doorway, all with smiles on their faces. “She’s giving me a second chance.” I replied, turning back to Y/n and giving her a peck on her lips. I adjusted so I was still laid with her but able to see the others. “Hi, I’m Lizzie by the way.” She introduced herself to Y/n who held out her hand to shake. “Hi. Y/n. Thank you for look after Scar.” Y/n responded, and Lizzie blushed a little. “She’s my best friend, I’d do anything for her. This feels really weird. I feel like I know you even though I’ve never met you. I’ve heard so many stories.” Lizzie shared and Y/n laughed. “Oh God. That’s not good.” And we all laughed

That evening was amazing, we all just chatted, and I got to lie in Y/n’s arms again. I was home and I couldn’t be happier. I spent the weekend in Georgia, before heading back to LA to prepare for Y/n’s arrival. Lizzie had offered to move in temporarily to help with Y/n and the two of them quickly became great friends.

Once I had finished filming, we spent time traveling whilst I had no commitments until the reshoots and press tour. We got to know each other again and I loved the woman Y/n had become more than I ever had. Even though she still didn’t know what she wanted to do, it didn’t matter right now as we were together and that was all that matter. I had my girl back.

[creative-caramel-coffee]

hey! could i maybe make a request about reader suffering from anxiety, but she hides it, and for some reason Wanda or Nat snap at her, and she breaks? Basically WandaNat x reader angst with hurt/comfort? Thanks in advance <3

Misunderstanding Mishaps

Pairings: Wandanat x R, Pepper x R (platonic)

Word count: 2.2K

Summary: R struggles while her girls are away which leads to a misunderstanding.

TW: not eating, not sleeping, anxiety, misunderstanding, angst, accused cheating, past trauma (mentioned), crying, vulnerability, depression (kinda?), separation anxiety

A/n I love pepper and I hope I did your request justice :)

Eventually you were past the point of being able to bring it up in conversation. Life had been good. Aside from dealing with it yourself, but that was the way it had always been so it wasn’t that bad. Ho were you suppose to tell your girlfriends of almost two years that your anxieties were eating you alive? You were a hero. Hero’s didn’t have anxiety. Or at least that’s what you had told yourself.

You were afraid of loosing them the same way you lost your family. In an attack from hydra your whole family was killed, the same attack that was the start of five years of hell and the begging of your powers. It had been three years since the avengers rescued you and two years of being with your girlfriends. Wanda and Natasha were perfect. They were your missing puzzle piece. But you were terrified to loose them. The constant fear of yourself, your powers and loosing the people you cared about only ever became unbearable when they left. If they were out of your sight, you couldn’t protect them. You knew they could do well more than hold their own on the battlefield but you couldn’t loose them. It had been almost a week and Wanda and Natasha were on a strict no contact mission. It was eating you from the inside out. Not know if they were ok. Not knowing where they were. Nobody would update you. It was tearing you apart. The first few days you had managed to f drag yourself out of bed. But not anymore. You were curled up in the sheets that were soaked in tears and sweat from when you did manage to sleep but you merely had nightmares about their deaths.

Pepper had been taking time out of her busy schedule to bring you food she had ordered, sitting with you until you had taken your last bite. She knew the truth. She knew of your fears and did her best to help. She was like a mother to you. It was nice. You had attached yourself to her when you first came. She looked like your aunt and she acted like a mother. She had taken to you straight away.

Two small knocks came on the bedroom door and in a small voice you called out.

“Come in.” You said, maybe too softly to hear but the door opened. Pepper stood with a table in one hand and a cooling plate of pancakes in her arms.

“Y/n/n you need to eat something today.” She said coming in an placing them on your lap before tiding up. For someone who didn’t leave their bed much there sure was a mess. She stopped when she saw your teary eyes. Coming to sit on the bed beside you she placed a hand on your cheek using her thumb to wipe the falling tears from your cheek.

“Oh sweetheart.” She cooed looking sad for you. “Come here.” She pulled you into her chest and wrapped her arms around you.

“I know your worried but I made tony hack shield because I know you needed something.” You tensed in her arms. “Wanda and Natasha are in Finland, some top secret hydra base their scoping out. They should be home in a day or two if not sooner.” She rubbed circles on your back as your hands bunched in her shirt and you sobbed into the crook of her shoulder, your body shaking. It had all been too much for you lately you needed your girls.

You were almost fully in pepper lap now as she held you into her chest tightly to ground you. Soon your sobs died down and pepper coaxed you into eating some of the now cold pancakes. Seeing your eyes fluttering she knew you hadn’t slept much the last few nights. Carefully she ran a hand through your hair to get the curls from your face.

“Sweetheart why don’t you get some sleep.” Pepper said going to grab her tablet.

You nodded and snuggled into the sheets. Pepper nodded her approval and began walking to the door.

“Can you stay?” You asked in a small voice. Insecurity lacing the words.

“Of course y/n/n.” She walked back over and you shuffled to the side as she swung her legs onto the bed and you snuggled into her thigh. She was wearing black slacks and a salmon coloured button up blouse which now had drying wet patches thanks to your earlier tears. Her hair was up and she was wearing black heels. “You look nice today pep” you mumbled into her leg and she ran her hand in circles on your back as you fell asleep you heard her chuckle at your comment.

“Get some sleep sweetheart, I wont leave you.” She said softly and used her other hand to start tapping on her tablet as she organised some stark industries business.

You woke up to the sound of voice in the hall. You grumbled and rolled into peppers side more, pressing your face into her leg and smushing your cheeks up. She chuckled and looked to the door which began to open slightly.

Wanda and Natasha peered in. Upon realising their voices were the ones you heard you shot up in bed making pepper chuckle slightly. Your bed head made you look quiet cute.

“Wands! Natty!” You said making grabby hands and using your fist to rub your eyes which had deep circles under them despite your power nap. You frowned when they didn’t come over.

“Natty? Wanda? Is everything ok?” You asked getting up and walking over to them. You went to hug them but back away when they recoiled at your touch. Pepper sat on the bed trying to. Dissapper, her only exit blocked.

“Y/n.” Wanda said with a cold voice.

“Y/n” Natasha echoed “what is this?” She asked her face stone cold as she waved a hand between you and pepper who shrunk deeper into the bed. You did a double take, spluttering slightly at the indication of what they thought you had done. They took it your reaction as shock you had been caught. Natasha was getting angry now at your lack of words.

“What? Nothing to say? We were gone so you think you can just throw yourself at the next girl who walks into the room?” Natasha said harshly. Tears began to prick your eyes.

“Do you always go whoring yourself out when we go on missions?” Wanda yelled.

“I-i-I-“ you stuttered the nervous trait you had been trying to kick for years showing itself as you floundered.

“You know what. Its been a rough couple of days, I need a shower.” Nat said pushing past you. “And frankly I don’t want to see you right now.” She said looking you up and down you felt small in your pjs and bed head. “Coming wands baby?” Nat said using pet names to make you feel worse.

“Of course my love.” Wanda replied shoving past you as well.

Your heart beat once. Twice. Then shattered. You stood staring at where they had been before you shot off down the hall. Running into your old room you slammed the door and ordered Jarvis to lock it. You curled up in the sheets and sobbed loudly into the fabric. You clutched your old stuffed toy to your chest, the familiar item bringing some much needed comfort. It felt like hours you were laid there. All alone, your thoughts running wild.

Meanwhile pepper had broken out of her stupor and was pounding on the bathroom door. She was ignored until after the two girls had showered. As they opened the door pepper jumped back and began to berate them.

“What the hell was that?!” She yelled and Wanda looked at her in shock while nat simply held a cold gaze. “You see us together and assume she cheated.” Pepper yelled. “First off Im with tony and I see her like family. Secondly I would never meddle in your relationship, I cant believe you think I would. But this is not about me.” She began pacing and Wanda and nat sat down on the bed and quietly watched. As Wanda detected no lies in her words she began to fear she had made a huge mistake. Natasha seemed less convinced and crossed her arms.

“Then what was she doing in bed with you?” She said pointedly.

“She was in tears you idiots. She has been having horrible anxiety and hasn’t been eating or sleeping scared she would miss a call saying you needed back up or worse were injured and not coming home. I have been bringing her food and drying her tears while you two didn’t spare a second thought to her state when you left.” Wanda began to feel awful and Natasha also was beginning to feel pepper was telling the truth. “I came in this morning to find she hadn’t slept again last night and I brought her pancakes. She cried into my neck for about an hour before I managed to get her to eat something and take a nap. She has been inconsolable and afraid you two wouldn’t come home to her this time.” Wanda and Natasha were feeling awful and nat ran her hands through her damp hair.

“Then you two come in and break her all over again.”

“Why didn’t she tell us.” Wanda said her voice breaking.

“She thought she needed to be strong. She thinks hero’s cant have anxiety she was afraid you would leave her for less. Don’t you get it? She loves you so much she almost made herself sick waiting like a sick puppy for you to come home.” Pepper said “you better go start apologising now. I saw she was before and I would hate to see her now.”

Wanda nodded and took Nat’s hand walking down the hall to the room and knocking on the door three times.

“Go away pepper.” You sobbed choking on the words.

“Its us.” They said and you stilled. Rubbing your eyes and standing on shaky legs. You opened the door your face masking all emotion despite your red and puffy eyes and tear tracks.

“What do you want” you said shoving everything down.

“Aww baby.” Wanda cooed when she saw your face. She pulled you into a hug and her heart broke when you stiffed. Nat began to run her hands through your hair as Wanda picked you up sitting on the bed with you in her lap.

“My sweet girl we are so so so so sorry baby. And we will spend ever day for the next fifty years doing our best to make up for it.” Wanda said and Nat nodded eagerly.

“But-but- you don’t love me anymore.” You said burning your face in your hands as the tears started again. Wanda cooed and pulled your hands from your face pulling you back the back of your neck into her shoulder and running her hands through your hair.

“Baby we love you so so much.”

“More than you know.” Nat agreed. “And we are so sorry and we hope you can forgive us.”

“And we understand in you need time.” Wanda said begging to peel you off her stopping when you choked out a broken sob.

“Please don’t leave me” you cried. And Wanda stopped pulling you in tightly to calm you down she motion for nat to join. Wanda turned your body so you were laid on her chest body flush to hers. Nat came and sandwiched you wrapping her arms under Wanda with her body on both yours and Wanda’s.

“My sweet girls.” Wanda said. As she brushed the hair from your eyes as you cried into her chest.

“We are never going to leave you alone like that again. And I’m sorry we didn’t notice sooner.” Nat said.

“‘S ok” you slurred slightly.

Wanda shook her head “no baby its not we didn’t even let you explain.” Your body shook slightly and Wanda pulled a blanket over the three of you.

“We’re here now love. You can sleep we wont go anywhere my sweet. You look exhausted. Close those pretty eyes for me.” She said stroking your cheek. You let out a low sleepy hum and your eyes drifted closed all the emotions of the day had exhausted you. You barely registered the door open slightly and pepper came to check on you and Wanda mouthed ‘thank you’ to her. Pepper nodded and used to fingers to point into her eyes then at Wanda and nat in a ‘I’m watching you’ motion with no real malice behind it. It was an honest mistake and she knew it. You jiggled slightly as Wanda’s chest moved with a chuckle the vibrations lulling you deeper into sleep. Carefully pepper shut the door. Comfy and feeling safe you slept in the arms of your girls. And for once the anxiety was nowhere to be found in any of even the darkest corners of your mind. Their love lighting up all the parts that hid the darkness from them.

MASTERLIST

[jenniferjareauwife]

It's Just Hard

pairing: jennifer jareau x cowgirl fem reader

category: fluff, hurt/comfort

warnings: symptoms of depression

word count: 781

summary: you've been feeling down and can't seem to get a hold of your long distance girlfriend and can't talk to her about how you're feeling until she comes to visit

I threw my phone across the room after JJ declined my call again with a short text.

Honey 🍯- Sorry babe. Busy with a case

I pulled my knees up to my chest and tugged at my braid. This wasn't fair. I knew it wasn't her fault that she was so busy with cases but I needed her. I didn't mean to but I broke down crying. All I needed was someone to talk to but I didn't have anyone.

A few days later I texted her late at night, not being able to sleep due to my racing mind.

texas hold 'em 🤠- hey. you up

Honey 🍯- Yeah. Why? What's up?

texas hold 'em 🤠- can't sleep

Honey 🍯- I'm sorry

Honey 🍯- Anything I can do to help?

texas hold 'em 🤠- r u still coming saturday

Honey 🍯- Of course

Honey 🍯- Babe what's wrong?

I wanted to tell her I just needed someone to talk to but I didn't have the guts to. I had never been good at saying what I needed, especially when it came to mental health.

texas hold 'em 🤠- nothing

Honey 🍯- You're sure?

texas hold 'em 🤠- yeah

Honey 🍯- Ok. Well I'm going to sleep, ok?

texas hold 'em 🤠- ok

texas hold 'em 🤠- goodnight i love you

Honey 🍯- I love you too :)

I fell asleep, imagining that she was right next to me.

I picked her up at the airport two days later, hugging her so tight neither of us could breathe. "Baby- too tight." I loosened my grip with a frown but didn't let her see it.

"Sorry."

"It's ok." She put her arm over my shoulders as we made our way to my car. She noticed I was a bit quiet. "Hey...you ok?"

"Yeah. Fine." I cleared my throat and leaned into her a bit more. I could tell she didn't buy it. She was a profiler after all.

She waited until we were home to ask again. We were cuddled up on the couch and she wanted to get up to find the remote but I really just needed hugs from her right now. "Y/n. Are you ok?" The sincerity in her tone made me a bit nervous.

"I..."

"Baby if somethings wrong I need you to tell me, ok? I don't like it when you don't tell me this stuff." She rubbed my thigh slowly, her face mere inches from mine. I leaned forward and tucked my head into her neck, hugging her tightly. She was quick to hug me back.

"It's just hard." I mumbled.

"What's hard?"

"I've just been...really sad recently I guess." I could barely hear myself.

"Sad about what?"

"I don't even know. Just sad."

"Like depressed sad or just sad?"

"I don't know the difference." I snuggled into her even more, wanting to be as close as possible to her. "It's hard to get out of bed though...cause I don't wanna do anything."

"Oh baby...why didn't you tell me earlier my love, I would've come down here earlier."

"Cause you were so busy and I didn't want to bother you."

"You can never bother me hon." I realized she was twisting my hair into a braid as she spoke. I sighed, looking up at her.

"I've never really told anyone about my feelings, you know? I guess I didn't think you'd care."

"I care. I always care. Even cowgirls have feelings, y'know?" I giggled at her joke, tucking my face in her neck again.

"Yeah...I have feelings."

"And it's ok for you to talk about them, I encourage it, ok?" I nodded, knowing she wanted an answer.

"Can we go to bed?" I asked quietly. "I really want to cuddle...properly."

"Does cuddling help you?" She asked, picking me up and taking me to my bedroom.

"Mhm." I got on top of her, using her as my own personal mattress, making her giggle. I had made it known from the start of our relationship that I really liked physical touch, but only with certain people.

"I want you to tell me whenever you're feeling like this, ok? I wanna be here for you." She lightly ran her fingertips up and down my back, kissing my temple as she mumbled her words against my skin. "I don't like to see you sad."

"Well I don't like being sad." She sighed and wrapped her arms around me. "You make it better though."

"I do?" I felt her smile against my temple.

"Mhm."

"I'm glad."

"Thanks for...being here...letting me talk to you. I needed it."

"Of course my love. Anytime."

"I love you...so much."

"I love you so much more."

[mistyswifey]

Harmful Memories

{• y/n & Gwen • }

(TW: Sh, depression, etc)

Y/n was, well not the brightest kind of kid. They would always do weird stuff, they were always seen as the ‘weird kid.’ Y/n didn’t care, or thats what everyone thought. but when they’d get home from anywhere, they would feel overwhelmed and have the urge to cry. Y/n had been bullied their whole life. Y/n’s big sister, Gwen, had no idea what Y/n had been going through their whole life. Gwen didn’t notice the changes in Y/n’s mood, style, etc. Before Y/n had been so talkative and they would always spend time with Gwen, now they barely talk to Gwen. Gwen didn’t think anything of it, she just thought ‘Oh but isn’t this how all teenagers act?’ not until she found a razor in your/n’s drawer.

you heard a knock on the door.

“Come in.” 

you said, scrolling through the old pictures on your phone. You’d do that often, you’d scroll through the pictures with your best friend, old best friend. She had passed away a couple years back. which also resulted in your mood changes and depression.

“Y/n..”

Gwen walked into your room with a sad look on her face. You didn’t think anything of it, until you saw the razor on her hand.

“Gwen where the hell did you..? how the hell.? i thought i- you know what, never mind.”

you said. your voice was hesitant and your hands started to get sweaty.

“Show me..”

Gwen said, calmly. You shook your head.

“Show me.” 

She said getting frustrated slowly. You shook your head but she sat next to you on the bed. She started to look at your arms, trying to see any signs of self harm, but your arms were clean. 

“Show. Me.” 

she said again. you rolled up your sweat pants. You looked at your sister who now had tears in her eyes. She hugged you. Your scars were fresh, still red. you had some faded ones too, but very few. 

“Y/n please dont do this to yourself..”

Gwen said sobbing. she held you tightly. You remained silent, but you hugged her back.

“Please if you ever need anything, just talk to me..”

Gwen said as she finally let go of you. you thought for a second, before coming to the conclusion you should just tell her everything.

“Gwen i.. im sorry ok, you have absolutely no idea how hard it’s been. i don’t understand it? why don’t people like me? did i do something wrong? the only person who didn’t hate me fucking died? did i deserve this?”

Gwen hugged you tighter.

“Y/n dear.. im your big sister, you still have me.. i love you, i could never hate you. i don’t know what i’d do without you, please you need to stay strong..”

she said rubbing your back softly. her voice was comforting, you had never thought she could be so comforting and sweet.

“Thanks Gwen.. I’ll try..”

you said.

“if you ever have the urge to self harm, please talk to me, ok dear?”

she said as she let go of you again. she threw the razor out of the open window in your room. you were about to yell at her but you knew it was for the best. she left the room smiling at you before closing the door. you felt happier than before. now you knew your sister actually liked you, you had another reason to keep on going. you didn’t want to give up, you wanted to be clean.

{ • AN: Im so sorry this is so short! hope you liked it! i wanted to try something a bit sadder, as i’ve been feeling down myself lately. i kind of just put all my thoughts into this one. :) • }

[sunfyresrider]

Romeo & Juliet AU

Part 1

Synopsis: Two households, Targaryen and Velaryon, both alike in dignity in Westeros, from ancient grudge break to new mutiny, where civil blood makes civil hands unclean. From forth the fatal loins of these two foes. A pair of star-crossed lovers take their life; Whose piteous misadventures buries their parents' strife. 

pairing: Jacaerys Velaryon x Reader warnings: kissingg and mutual simping word count: 6k + note: I used a mix of Westeroi, modern English, and Shakespearean language so I hope it's still an ok read. I never realized how fast paced it was until I read the screenplay and scripts, so this is a shorter series than others.

ACT I

It was excruciatingly hot, even at eight o’clock. King’s Landing was coming to life: people poured out of the houses and filled the streets while market traders set up their stalls in the grand piazza. It was an excellent place for business of those who lived and worked in the rich houses that lined King’s Landing’s main square. The Targaryen mansion was by far the largest – filled with servants and king’s guard, always buzzing with activity. 

Lately, Jacaerys had been faithfully ignoring his dear brother due to a recent heartache. Lucerys had carefully planned out today how he was going to catch him off guard and bless him with good tidings. Lucerys strolled slowly behind his brother and down the street. “Hi.” he spoke as he got near to Jacaerys, his tiding was ignored. 

Lucerys ran in front of Jace and bent his head to catch his brother’s eye. “Good morrow.” Jacaerys pretended not to see him. Lucerys wrapped an arm around his elder brother so he could ignore him no longer. “Good morrow,” Lucerys sang. 

Jacaerys sighed a long, mournful sigh. “Is the day so young?” Lucerys walked in unison with him carefully studying his face. “Only just past eight.” He sighed again, “how slow time goes when you’re depressed.” Luke raised a brow, “What sadness plagues you that makes time drag so?” Jace rolled his eyes, “not having what I need to make it go fast.” Luke gasped, “not in love…!” His brother stopped walking, “no, out… Out of the favor of the girl I love.”

“Oh my,” Lucerys whispered, attempting not to giggle. “It’s a hard life. Love, tis’ such a gentle thing, yet so rough when it comes down to it.” Luke did not know much of love, but he knew this was just another crush that failed to come to fruition. His elder brother was quite talented at being overly dramatic. “Tis’ true,” muttered Jacaerys. 

The youngest brother was struggling to hold his composure as he listened to his brother's woes. Jacaerys shook his head sadly. “The world is filled with hate… I’m thinking only about love. Oh, everything feels upside down.” Jacaerys ears perked up when he heard a hushed giggle behind him. He whipped his head around and looked sharply at Lucerys. “Are you laughing at me?”

“Would I do that, dear brother o’ mine,” jested Lucerys. “You make me want to cry.” The elder brother grew tense, “Why?” Luke patted his back, “because you’re so pathetic it’s saddening.” Jace scoffed, “It’s love that makes me pathetic, but don’t give it another thought.” His eyelids slowly began to brim with tears. “If you start feeling sorry for me it’ll only make things worse… So go home.”

“Be serious right now. Tell me who has caused such despair.” Jacaerys pouted like a child, “I won’t dare speak her name… but she is a girl.” Lucerys made his best attempt to not tease “Oh. well done,” remarked Lucerys. “I assumed that when you said you were in love.” His elder brother smiled to himself reminiscing on his memory of her, “Her name is Baela and she’s beautiful.” That she was her skin glistened with the oil she used to soften it. Her dark eyes glistened brighter than any star and her lips were plush and red like the most beautiful rose. Luke was growing bored and mildly annoyed. “Good for you.”

Jacaerys plucked a handkerchief out of his pocket and dabbed at his eyes. “She’s not interested in boys says she never will be. When our eyes meet, she looks the other way…. I’ve even offered her coin, Lucerys, coins!” The younger brother sighed, “Well. She’s determined not to have a man.”

“Oh Gods,” Jacaerys groaned. “She’s so beautiful, Lucerys. And she’ll go through life alone and when she dies all beauty will die with her. She says she’ll never love anyone, so I’m destined for a living death.” Luke could bear no more of the self-pity, he grasped Jacaerys’s wrist. “If you trust me, I can tell you how to forget her.”

“Impossible… Tell me how.’ Jacaerys stopped crying and lifted his eyebrows. His eyes were as bright as the sun gleaming above them.  “Easy task,” exclaimed Lucerys. “Get out and about. Look at other girls.” Jace’s joy melted away and he nearly let out a sob, “It’s no use… Whenever I see a girl from now on, I’ll only think of one who is even more beautiful.” Luke chuckled to himself, “I’m taking that as a challenge, I’ll sort it out, don’t you worry big boy.”

-

It was high past noon when little Luke returned with a grand plan to free his brother from wallowing in sorrow. After a deal was made with their less than adequate cousin a plan had been hatched. He rushed through the humming streets and slammed the door open to their lush apartments. “Aha!’ shouted Lucerys announcing his arrival. “We have just gotten invited to the most lavish party, dear brother. We have finally made our way into a Targaryen affair!” 

Jacaerys leapt from his seat and rushed over to where his young brother stood. “Who shall be in attendance?” Luke waved his ticket proudly, “Your dear Baela, among some of the finest girls in King’s Landing. Let us go to Targaryen’s party, Jacaerys.” He shoved the ticket into his brother's hand. “I’ll show you that the girl you think is a swan is nothing more than a crow.”

“A girl more beautiful than Baela?” His eyes widened before they dulled once more, “never. The sun’s never seen a more beautiful woman since the world began.” Luke wanted to vomit, he had heard enough of this, “Rubbish! Every time you’ve seen her she’s been on her own. You need to make comparisons and I bet there’ll be hundreds of girls who’ll put Baela in the shade.” Jacaerys thought to himself for a long while, clearly he believed his brother but refused to admit it. “Alright, I’ll go,” spoke Jacaerys. “But not because I think you can show me anyone better. I’m going only so that I can see her.”

-

Lady Targaryen came into the sitting room where her daughter’s nurse was sewing a pattern onto a handkerchief. She gazed around the room before speaking. “Where’s that child o’ mine? I wish to speak to her.” The nurse stood from her place on the settee, “Ladybird!” she called. “My little lamb! Where are you child? Y/N!”

“Coming,” a soft voice called, and you came running in from the adjoining room. The surprise on her face was evident when she saw her mother. Lady Targaryen was so busy as of late she rarely had time to visit you. “Mother! What do you want?”

“We need to discuss a private matter,’ spoke Lady Targaryen. It was a private demand for the nurse to leave. Thus, the nurse got up reluctantly, but before she reached the door, Lady Targaryen called her back. “You might as well stay,” she sighed. “Your advice would be helpful.” Lady Targaryen cleared her throat. “Y/N’s getting to the age when…” She frowned, searching for the right word. “Let’s just say she’s at a pretty age. She’s going to be fourteen in two weeks.”

“Oh yes,” exclaimed your Nurse. “On Maiden’s Day she’ll be fourteen. She was the same age as my Susan when she died, God rest her soul. Anyway, on Maiden’s Day she’ll be fourteen. I remember it so well: it’s eleven years since the earthquake…” She took no notice of the impatient tapping of Lady Targaryen’s fingers on the table, nor the glances you were giving her to cease her gabbering. “And you stop dead now too, please, Nurse,” you pleaded.

“I swear I have finished.” The Nurse bowed her head. She tenderly gazed upon your face before opening her trap once more. “But I must say it. You were the most beautiful baby I ever nursed. If I could live to see you married, I’d die peacefully.” Your mother, Lady Rhaenyra Targaryen grinned, “Married… That’s just what I’ve come to talk about!” She clapped her hands together and motioned for you to sit on her lap and so you did. Though she now shifted under your weight unlike when you were young. “Little lamb, what do you think about getting married?’

“I’ve never even thought about it,’ you sighed. You knew where this conversation was headed. “Well give it a thought now, girls younger than you are already mothers. As a matter of fact, I was your mother when I was much the age you are now… The Count of Casterly Rock wishes to marry you.”

The Nurse clapped her hands together. “Now there’s a man, the perfect man.” Rhaenyra smiled, “The best in King’s Landing.” Your nurse’s voice reeked of excitement, “without doubt.” Your mother ran a finger through your hair.  “Well? Do you think you could love him?’ You had no clue to say. It was too unexpected and far too soon. The idea of marriage, especially to an older man did not suit your fancy. You had heard nothing but bad things about the Lannisters. They were greedy and too ambitious to trust. “You’ll see him at the party, take a good look at him. He has sound prospects and many riches.” 

You felt all the joy you once had for this evening being slowly drained away with every word she spoke. Riches and prospects… you did not care much for those either. “Come on, what do you think? Do you like the idea?” You knew a simple no would not suffice. You spoke carefully, “I shall look at him but I’m not going to rush or do anything that I haven’t thought about.”

A knock at the door caught both of your attention. One of your father’s servants came in, “Madam, the guests are starting to arrive. My master wants you.” Lady Targaryen stood up and brushed off her skirts. “I have to go, come on Y/N, the Count’s waiting.” You glanced back at your nurse praying for aid, “Go and meet your love.” The nurse was no help after all, traitor. 

-

Jacaerys was impatiently tapping his foot. “Are we going to make some excuse for coming? Or shall we just go in and see what happens?” The three boys stood in the piazza, watching the huge front door of Targaryen’s mansion open. Aegon, the one with the invitation, and Jacaerys’s best friend, sat on the ground. He was making it clear that he was the only one to have been invited and the other two were stowaways. The reason for his invitation was that he was a Targaryen too.

Lucerys was the first to stand up and speak. “Speeches are out. No-one makes speeches when they arrive anymore. We’ll just go in and pretend we belong. Tough luck if they don’t like us.” Jace nodded, there was no need to draw attention to themselves. He sighed, “Give me the torch, Aegon. I’ll carry it: I’m not going to dance.” Aegon rolled his eyes, “seven hells… No, you're dancing. That’s the entire point.”

Jacaerys sat down beside his friend and relinquished his hold of the torch. “Come on kid, lovers are always in the mood for dancing.” He wrapped his arm around Jace’s shoulder. “Not me. It’s because of love that I’m not in the mood.” Aegon laughed, he did not have the same restraint as Luke. “What a fuss about nothing.”  Lucerys hid his face as he chuckled. “So now you laugh at me?” He was offended to say the least. Of course, a scoundrel like Aegon could never understand love. He was too in love with himself to feel the agony Jace did. “You don’t know what it’s like until you’ve felt it. It hurts like hell.”

Aegon groaned, “It'll stop hurting once you’re inside. Hand me a mask, Aemond.” The other three boys gathered around him. “Now as soon as we’re in let’s all get down to some serious business.” Lucerys declared in the most serious voice he could manage. Jacaerys was reluctant, “I know we mean no harm and all, but I don’t think it’s very bright to go to this party.”

Aegon furrowed his brows in confusion. “Why?” The eldest boy sighed once again, “I had a dream last night.” His ears were filled with a symphony of groans from his friends. 

“If we don’t get a move on, all the food will be gone by the time we get there.” Aemond spoke quickly as he bounced on his feet. Jacaerys glanced at the door and realized there was a hoard of people going through the doors. “I have a strong premonition that something’s going to happen tonight. I feel it’s going to end in my having to repay a debt with my life.”

“Pray tell, when did you become a dragon dreamer?” Aemond raised his brows at him. The boys glanced at each other once last time and threw their heads up in laughter. Fools, Jacaerys realized he was surrounded by jesters. He shrugged, “Alright then, off we go.”

-

The servants were running rampant trying to clean up after the dinner and prepare for the dancing. A few bumped in Jacaerys’s shoulder causing him to become more annoyed at being here. There was no joy to be found here unless it was with Baela. 

They stood off to the side as Lord Targaryen walked upon a raised floor and waved to the crowd.  “Welcome, gentlemen. Once there was a time when I could wear a mask and charm a girl by whispering a story in her ear. No more, no more, no more. If you aren’t old like me, all the ladies who aren’t suffering from corns on their feet will dance with you. Ha ha! My ladies, now which of you will refuse to dance now? If any of you acts shyly, I’ll swear she has corns. Come, musicians, play. Make room in the hall! Make room! Dance, girls.” Jacaerys realized again at that moment his family’s greatest foe was a fool. 

You didn’t arrive early, nor did you arrive right on time. Lady Targaryen decided to arrive late to make an entrance and that you did. For a second all eyes were on you and the more than revealing evening gown you were forced to wear, twas not to your liking. Your father, Lord Daemon Targaryen had already begun making a spectacle of himself atop the hall.

Your nerves ached as you stared at the crowd in front of you. Instead of listening to your mother speak about how you need to charm your way into the Lannister’s heart you slipped away into the crowd. The guests took kindly to you and gladly swung you around as they danced. If you ever were filled with sorrow, dancing was sure to ease that pain. 

Jacaerys noticed you too late, you were already dancing with other people. He had never laid eyes upon such a beautiful maiden in his entire life. Thus, his agony from earlier melted away and soon became long forgotten. He leaned over to Aegon, “Who is that girl on the arm of that man over there?” 

“I do not know. Perhaps a cousin o’ mine by the hue of her hair.” Jace’s heart raced as you glanced over to him before quickly being spun the other way. “She teaches the torches to burn bright! Her beauty is too precious for this world like a white dove in a flock of crows, she surpasses all the other women. When this dance ends, I’ll note where she stands, and then I’ll touch her hand and bless my ugly one. Did I ever love anyone before this moment? Renounce that love, my eyes! I never saw true beauty until this night.” Aegon looked at his friend and began laughing to himself. “By the Gods, you are pathetic.” 

You finished your dance quickly and bid the lord good night. The room was quickly becoming suffocatingly cramped so you moved to a pillar by the back wall. You watched the crowd sway in a trance-like state until you heard a voice from behind. The masked boy gently took your hand in his, “If I offend you by touching your holy hand with my own unworthy one, like two blushing smallfolk, then my lips stand ready to smooth my rough touch with a gentle kiss.” 

Even though he wore a mask you could see his handsome features underneath. You couldn’t help but blush, “you are unfair to your hand. Your hand shows proper devotion by touching mine, just as smallfolks reach out to touch the hands of septas. Holding palm to palm is like a smallfolk’s kiss.” Jacaerys squeezed your hand, “Don’t septas have lips? And smallfolk, too?” 

Quickly your cheeks became heated... was he flirting with you? Your face blessed his eyes with a smile, “Yes, smallfolk lips they’re supposed to use to pray.” His eyes were soft, and his smile warms your heart. “Oh septa, let lips do what hands do: pray. Grant my prayer or my faith will turn to despair.” Your heart beats with excitement, “Septas don’t move, though they do grant prayers.” He leaned in slowly and his voice turned into a hushed whisper, “then remain still while I pray.” 

Your lips touched in the gentlest embrace. You weren’t sure what had driven you to behave like this, but something drove you to him. Mayhaps it was the poetry he used to lure you in that drove you to madness. “Thus, your lips have cleaned the sin from mine.” 

You gazed at his charming smile, “Tis’ my lips that have the sin they took from yours.” He pulled your hand to his chest and studied your features, “Sin from my lips? How you goad me on to another crime. Give me back my sin.” It was impossible to resist the taste of affection he granted you. You leaned into his lips, “You kiss as if you’ve studied how.” 

Your lips touched once more, this time you basked in their subtle warmth and tender flesh. You tasted sweet, like strawberries freshly picked from the garden. There was never a more perfect being than you, Jacaerys thought. 

“Y/N, your mother needs to speak with you.” Your nurse’s voice immediately caused you to pull away. Jacaerys watched you walk away, and curiosity took over his newly healed heart, “What is that girl’s name, nurse?” 

“Y/N Targaryen, daughter of the good lady Rhaenyra Targaryen.” Jacaerys stood frozen at her words. What a price I’ve paid, I’ve fallen for the enemy, he thought. Love must be a monster to make him love his worst enemy. 

-

Jacaerys couldn’t stand to leave the Targaryen property until he laid eyes upon you one last time. His heart had been trapped here — nowhere else. Besides, he knew what would happen on the way home. His friends would jest at his expense, and he could frankly live without that. They would go on about Baela. Baela? Who was Baela again?

“Jacaerys! Hey Jacaerys!” The boys walked faster than he thought. He hopped behind a stone wall as they quickly approached where he was hiding. “Brother! Where art thou hiding?” Aegon began drunkenly shouting, “Ja-cae-rys! Ja-Ja-Ja-cae-rys!”

In a quick attempt to escape he climbed atop the wall and laid flat as they walked below him. Aemond, the tall lad, nearly saw him. “He’s run off home to avoid us,” Jace listened intently to Luke’s voice. “He’ll be in bed by now.” Aemond turned in in a circle and stood on his toes trying to peer over the wall. “No, I swear I just saw him a moment ago. I’ll bet he climbed over this orchard wall.”

“He’s vanished like a ghost… Let’s see if I can conjure him up.” Jacaerys lay, trying not to make a peep, listening to their drunken giggling. They huddled in a circle until Aegon emerged and began proudly shouting. “I conjure thee, Jacaerys Velaryon, in the name of Baela’s bright eyes!” Aegon spoke in the formal tone of a priest. “By her plush lips. And her round bum.”

Lucerys and Aemond burst out into a fit of giggles. “And quivering thighs! And everything else in that region!” Aegon held a hand in the air, “appear to us! Appear to us in the likeness of… of… yourself!” Lucerys slapped a hand over his mouth, “If he hears you, he’ll be furious.”

“Raising him in the name of his beloved would make him furious? That sounds fair to me,” Aegon placed his hands on his hips. “Let us waste no more time,” spoke Aemond when he had stopped laughing. “Since love is blind, leave him in the dark.” Aegon sighed, “oh well. Goodnight to Jacaerys” Lucerys raised his hands in defeat. “I’m going to bed. You’ll never find someone who doesn’t want to be found.”

-

He was stuck atop the wall he climbed onto. The moon illuminated the dark part of the world he was trapped in. On one side was the orchard and the overwhelmingly large Targaryen mansion. On the other was the alley his friends escaped through. He stared at the mansion and began wondering to himself. You were in there. What were you doing? Were you thinking about him? Have your thoughts been consumed by him as his thoughts had been consumed by you. 

A single window lit up and it reminded him so much of the sun. You were his sun and so much more beautiful than the moon. A goddess of the morning, you were. The gods granted his prayers as you opened the doors to your balcony and walked out. It’s my love, he whispered to himself. 

Jacaerys wished you could see him sitting there, mayhaps it would be less creepy. You were talking but he couldn’t hear it. Surely, it wasn’t about him. As he stared at you his head was whirling with thoughts. How could someone be so beautiful, like two of the most radiant stars left the sky and told you to take their place. Your eyes shined so brightly in the heavens that you would believe it was daytime. 

He watched you place your hand on your cheek and nearly fainted. Oh, how he wished to be a glove on your hand so he could touch that cheek. Jacaerys decided he had to get closer, he jumped off the wall and landed on his feet. He crept through the orchard until he was below your window barely hidden by a tree. 

You sighed as you watched the stars paint the night sky. Your mind had been overcome with thoughts of the boy from before. You spoke out loud to yourself to ease your heart. “Jacaerys, Jacaerys, why must you be a Velaryon.” He wanted to reveal himself but chose to stay still and listen. 

“It’s only your name that’s my enemy… If you loved me, I could take yours.” You paused and wondered about the strife between your families.  “What is a “Velaryon”? Tis’ not a hand nor foot, nor arm or face. What’s in a name anyway? The dragon we call Balerion would still breathe fire no matter its name. Whatever name Jacaerys had would make no difference: he would still be perfect.” 

Jace couldn’t handle it anymore. He leapt from behind the bush and lifted his arms. “I’ll take you at your word, just call me ‘love’ and that will be my new name,” he proclaimed. 

You stumbled back, it was shocking to hear someone out there. You couldn’t recognize the voice at all. “Who’s out there? Coming here, watching me and eavesdropping like this?” He sighed, “I can’t tell you my name since you hate it so.” The voice was familiar, you leaned over the balcony, excitement lacing your voice. “Is it Jacaerys? Jacaerys Velaryon?” 

“Neither” he said, “Since you dislike both names.” You glanced at him, “How and why did you come here? This place is dangerous, considering who you are. If any of my family finds you here your life may be forfeit.” He smiled back at you, “I climbed over the wall with the strength your love bestowed upon me. Do not fret for my safety, your eyes are more powerful than twenty of their swords. Just give me one look and I’ll be invincible.” 

“Who told you where to find me?” Jacaerys found it impossible to be serious. “Love told me. I’m no navigator, but even if you were living in Asshai I would find my way to you.”

Your cheeks flushed slightly, “It’s a good thing it’s dark or you would see me blushing… Do you love me?” Jacaerys opened his mouth to respond but you kept rambling on. “Oh Jacaerys, if you do love me, please tell me honestly… Or if you think I’m too fast tell me, and I’ll put on an act and be coy and play hard to get. I’m so in love with you: that’s why I’m being so forward. I should have been all shy, I know, and would have if you hadn’t overheard my real feelings. So, forgive me.”

He rushed to speak, “I swear by the moon…” You leaned over the balcony, “don’t swear by the moon! The moon’s too changeable.” Jacaerys’s brows furrowed in confusion. “What shall I swear by?”

“Swear by yourself and I’ll believe you. No, don’t swear. Although I love you, I don’t like this – making commitments like this. It’s too sudden, too fast. It’s not a good idea.” Jacaerys couldn’t understand what you were doing at all. You said you loved him and now you’re saying it’s not a good idea? He couldn’t let this be. “Are you just going to leave it like that?” 

You sighed, “What more could we do tonight?” He paused to think. “Make faithful vows of love.” It was high past your bedtime, and you could hear your nurse calling from the other room. You couldn’t just leave him so quickly after you said all of that. “Just a few more words and I must leave, dear Jacaerys. If you really mean it, and you want to marry me, send me a message tomorrow. I’ll send someone to you, and you’ll tell them where and what time you’ve arranged a wedding.”

You leant over the balcony and reached out towards Jacaerys. “If you’re trifling with me, please leave me alone to wallow in my sorrow.” You turned and ran towards the sound of your nurse calling. He was left dumbfounded, you left without a goodbye and claimed he did not mean it! It felt as if the sun itself had been burned out. Jacaerys turned to leave but your voice carried him back. 

“Psst! Jacaerys! Pssst!” He walked over and gazed up at you. “Jacaerys. What time shall I send someone?” He chuckled to himself, “at nine.” You laughed, “It’ll feel like twenty years till then… Oh! I’ve forgotten why I called you back.” He smiled up at you, “I’ll stay here until you remember it.” 

“Then I’ll never remember it, so that you’ll stand there forever.” He blushed, “I’ll keep standing here, hoping you’ll keep forgetting. And I’ll forget that I’ve got any other home but this.” You bit your lip and thought about speaking more but the sun peaking over the horizon caught your eye. “It’s almost morning, you must leave now.” You spoke in a hushed whisper. After you gave him one last lingering gaze you took off towards your room.  

Jacaerys had healed his heart and found a wife in the same night. He took off out of the orchard and towards the chapel to tell Septon Daeron what had happened. 

-

Septon Daeron was up early. The clouds in the southern sky were streaked with light as the night scurried out of the way of the advancing day. He wanted to fill his basket with a mixture of poisonous and healing herbs before the sun came up to dry the dew.

“Morning, Septon,” he shouted from across the field. Jacaerys ran up to him heavily panting. He looked over the boy's features, “Who’s this then, visiting me so early in the morning? Is there something wrong, being up so early?” Jace smiled, “You’re wrong, I had a better rest.”

“Gods pardon you, have you been with Baela?” Jacaerys’s brow furrowed. “Baela? No. I’ve forgotten that name and everything about her.” Septon Daeron smiled, “that’s my boy! But where have you been then?” Jacaerys spoke quickly, “I was dining with my enemies when suddenly one of them wounded me and you’re the one who can heal me.” Daeron looked at him confusingly, “I don’t understand what you’re getting at.” 

“To put it plainly, I fell in love with a Targaryen’s daughter, and she with me. You must marry us, and you must do so today.” The Septon stopped dead in his tracks. “By the seven! What a turnabout. Have you forgotten Baela? Am I to understand that young men love with their eyes and not their hearts? You cried buckets for Baela, the sound of your groans is still ringing in my ears.” 

“You told me off all the time for loving Baela.” Septon Daeron debated, “For being infatuated, not loving, my boy.” Jace sighed, “And told me to bury my love.” Daeron scoffed, “Not to dig another one up.” Jacaerys grabbed his hands. “Please, don’t reprimand me. The one I love now loves me in return. The other didn’t.”

‘Because she could see you didn’t mean it.’ Friar Lawrence was thinking. Marrying the two young people from the feuding families would be a disaster and he couldn’t possibly agree to it. Or could he? It may be the best way of bringing the families together. It could just be the salvation of Verona. It took him a second to decide. ‘Come on then, you young rascal,’ he said. ‘Come with me. This is one thing I can help you with. This could be the answer: the thing to turn your households’ hatred into love.’

-

“Where in the seven hells could Jacaerys be?” Aegon and Lucerys sat in the shade of the fountain’s wall. It was another dull day in King’s Landing. “Didn’t he come home last night?” Lucerys continued playing in the dust, “Not to fathers house.” Aegon huffed out a laugh, “Who would have thought it? The cold Baela should have the power to drive him crazy.”

“Hey!” Shouted Lucerys as Jacaerys ran towards them. “Here he is, the man himself.” Aegon stood up, “look at him. What a lad.” He bowed, “ Rytsas Jacaerys, sesīr kipi! How’s that for a nice Valyrian greeting? You cheated us well last night.” He stopped in his tracks, “Excuse me?” Aegon wrapped an arm around his shoulder. “Don’t you remember kid? You gave us the slip.”

“I’m sorry Aegon. I had important business.” Aegon didn’t accept that as a proper excuse. They began making fun of each other, exchanging insults. Jacaerys’s friends were pleased to see that he was back to his normal. At least they thought he was normal again. “Isn’t this better than groaning for love? Now you’re sociable – you’re Jacaerys again, the Jacaerys we all know.”

Jacaerys was unable to take the big grin off his face. He kept looking around the square: whenever he saw any movement he looked up. And alas your nurse all dressed up in full skirts and a billowing train appeared in front of him. So, this was the messenger you had sent for him.  Jacaerys, and his friends joined him as he ran to greet the Nurse.

Aegon grabbed the train and flapped it up and down for a jest. The Nurse turned and gave him a backhand which sent him flying into the dust. “Good morning, gentlemen,” said the Nurse. “Good afternoon, fair gentlewoman,” mocked Aegon, rubbing his jaw. “Is it afternoon already?” she asked sincerely. “Oh yes, the rude hand of the dial is now right on the cock of noon.”

“Disgusting! You disgusting man.” Aegon and Lucerys burst into giggles. “Can any of you wastrels tell me where I can find young Jacaerys?” Everyone peered over at Jace.  “I can tell you, it’s me. I’m the youngest of that name. For better or worse.” 

“Well said.” The Nurse grinned. “That was well said? You’re not hard to please, are you?” Aegon grinned wider. The Nurse waved him away and he threw himself on to the ground dramatically, lifted her skirt an inch and peeked under it and received another well aimed slap for that. “If you are he, I’d like a word with you… without the scoundrels you surround yourself with.” She winced and blew on her stinging hand.

“I think she’s going to proposition him,” Lucerys leaned over and whispered to Aegon. “A whore, a whore!” cried Aegon, “Tally ho” The young men came closer and began walking around her. “Leave us alone, children.” She swatted them away like flies. Aegon finally ceased his teasing after she spouted a fair share of insults. “Farewell, old girl,” sang Aegon, walking backwards, bowing. “Lady, lady, lady.”

“Who’s the cheeky one? All those tricks!” She watched as they walked away with a face laced with clear disgust. “Just a fellow who loves the sound of his own voice.” She looked at Jacaerys. “As I was trying to say, I want a word with you. My young lady told me to find you.”

“Tell her to find some way of going to confession this afternoon and there at Septon Daeron’s chapel she’ll be given absolution and married, all at the same time.” He pulled a little bag out of his pocket. “No,” she said as she took the money and hid it in her clothing. “Not a penny. This afternoon, you say? Well, she’ll be there.”

“If you’re loyal to us I’ll pay you well. Goodbye, give your mistress my love.” She grinned, “bless you, bless you, Sir.” Jacaerys shouted as she walked away, “give her my love, Nurse!” The nurse was all smiles twirling the coins in her pocket. “Of course! With pleasure.”

-

You could see by the way the sun hung over the distant hill that it was twelve o’clock. Your Nurse had been gone three hours! She had promised to return in half an hour. Mayhaps she hadn’t found him! No, that couldn’t be. The messengers of love should be as light as thoughts, traveling ten times faster than sunbeams, pushing all doubts and fears away, as light does to threatening shadows.

If your Nurse had any feelings – any passion whatsoever – your message would travel as fast as a tennis ball. The Nurse would be the ball. You would serve and Jacaerys would return it just as fast. But like all old people, the Nurse might as well be dead. You stuck your head out of the window every few seconds, searching the alleyway along which the Nurse would come.

And alas, there she was!

You rushed downstairs and into the garden, meeting the Nurse as a servant was opening the gate for her. You flung yourself at your old friend. “What did he say? Did you find him? Send your servant away.” The nurse didn’t expect to be bombarded with questions as soon as she returned. She turned to her servant and forced him to leave. 

“Whew, I‘m exhausted, leave me alone for a while.” She sank down onto a bench and started to fan herself. You wanted to scream with impatience. “Would you just give me your news! Please, Nurse, I beg of you, tell me. Please, dear, dear Nurse, tell me!”

‘Gods, what a hurry you’re in! Can’t you wait a minute. Can’t you see I’m out of breath?’ You rolled your eyes, “How can you be out of breath when you’ve got enough breath to tell me you’re out of breath?” The Nurse shook her head sadly. “Well, all I can say is that you’ve made a bad choice. You’ve no idea how to choose a man. Jacaerys! No, not him, he’s not the one.”

She got up suddenly and yawned. “Off with you now, girl. Get on with it. Have you had your dinner?” You huffed out a breath filled with growing annoyance. “What did he say about us getting married? What about that?”

The Nurse slid back on to the bench and lay, reclining. “Lord, what a headache I’ve got. It’s pounding so hard that it feels as though it’s going to break into twenty pieces.” She tried to stand up. “Oh, my back. Shame on you, sending me all over the place like that. It’ll be the death of me.” 

You scoffed, ‘Honestly, I’m very sorry you’re not well. Sweet, sweet, sweet Nurse. What did my love say?” The Nurse heaved a huge sigh. ‘Your love says, like an honest man, and a courteous, and a kind and a handsome, and, I have no doubt, a good-” She stopped and looked towards the house. You pondered if she was doing this to drive you mad! “Where’s your mother?”

You through your hands in the air, “in there, where do you think she is? What a strange answer. Your love says, like an honest man, where is your mother?” The nurse groaned in pain… though it seemed like false pain to you. “Good Gods, my dear young woman, bad tempered with me? Is this the thanks I get for my aching bones? Do your own dirty work from now on.”

“This is impossible, come on, what did Jacaerys say?” The Nurse stopped rubbing her back and took your hands. “Have you got permission to go to confession today?” You nodded excitedly as a smile blessed your face once more. 

“Then get yourself to Septon Daeron’s as quickly as you can. There’s a husband waiting there to make you a wife.” She smiled at you genuinely before turning you and patting your bum. “Off with you. I’m going to have my dinner. Go on Hurry.”

-

The chapel was chilled today even though the sun was boiling the ground outside. Jacaerys watched heat waves rising above the wildflowers which grew unhindered across the hillside. Septon Daeron was going on a small tangent about how feelings can lead to disaster and to be careful.  But Jacaerys wasn’t listening. He had been watching the brow of the hill and when your head appeared he sprang up and rushed to the door while the Septon was still talking.

You came, running so softly that it was as if you weren’t touching the ground. You didn’t even have a chance to say hello before he embraced you. Jace clung to you like a newborn babe and kissed you again and again. Septon Daeron pulled you apart gently. 

“Dear Y/N, if you are as happy as I am and can express it better, then tell me how much happiness you imagine we have when we add it all up.” you laughed and shoved his shoulder, “as usual, you say ridiculous things… People who can count their wealth are poor: my true love has grown so huge that I couldn’t measure half of it.” 

“Enough of this nonsense. Let’s get on with it. Follow me.”  The Septon forced you two to refrain from embracing each other during the ceremony; thankfully it was quick. You both were told to sit on your knees and pray before vows were exchanged. You pretended to be praying as you snuck glances at your soon to be husband. 

Daeron told you both to stand, neither of you had cloaks to exchange so instead you skipped right to the vows. It was painfully obvious to Daeron how ill prepared and immature the two lovers he was marrying were. A subtle feeling of dread washed over him staring at the pair. 

You intertwined your hands with each other upon command. “With this kiss, I pledge my love. And take you for my lady wife.” You smiled bigger than you ever had before, “With this kiss, I pledge my love. And take you for my lord husband.” The Septon cleared his voice and declared, “one flesh, one heart, one soul, now and forever.” 

Your lips crashed into each other in a searing embrace. A short-lived embrace as Daeron cleared his throat behind you. Your happiness was short lived as you both were quickly pulled apart. 

A plan was already in motion. Once the sun set and the moon rose over the horizon, the nurse would sneak out once again and inform your beloved it was safe. Then you would let a ladder fall from your balcony which he would climb up. It was the same place in the orchard where he watched you the other night.

 You would finally be able to consummate the marriage, and no one would be able to separate you. Not your parents, cousins, church, or state. Only the gods would be able to tear you from your true love… Soon you would realize how cruel the Gods could be.

[potatodog]

Auto Pilot(Staff Sergeant William James

an: since no one else will write for him, I will :] word count: 1,241

You had just been transferred as part of the Delta Company. One year to go. This wasn't torture, just another way of fleeing from feeling. Your life had been on auto pilot now for some time. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*flashback*

Your mother  has just gotten the call. The call that your older brother, Mathew, had been killed in a school shooting while protecting three other people. 

Your father was absent from the time you were born but he decided that it was time to come back. Your Mom had fallen into a deep hole of depression and couldn't care for you. Your father was a drunken fool, and your mom finally had enough and sent him away. You had to care for her and the house, forced to live the life of an adult and just 13.

*end of flashback*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There were 110 days left of your rotation, but you would probably stay on because you had nowhere else to go.  While in the camp, you had grown close to SSG William James. The two of you have had a little bit of light in the dark to share together. 

Your thoughts had been chasing you throughout the mission and you had to deal with them sooner or later. Later is what you decided, unfortunately your head didn't agree. 

'9 o'clock. Finally bed time,' you thought, exiting the bathroom trailer and turning to go to yours, across for James's. The dread in your chest that had been marinating suddenly swelled enough to fill the ocean. You felt your legs start shaking, pins and needles poking at your skin. Rapidly tapping your chest, you sank down by your front door, unable to breathe properly. Tears were falling freely now. 

"I can't- not now," you whispered like a mantra barely above a wisp of air leaving your lips. You had started shaking your hands in an attempt to calm down. It made the pins poking at your skin lessen, but it didn't help your breathing. Your chest felt like it was on fire. 

James had taken that moment to leave and go wash up. Seeing you having an attack, he ran over.

" hey love, it's alright I'm here now. Let's go inside, yeah?"

You shook your head and allowed him to grasp your hand, leading you inside. He closed the door as you sat down, trying to breathe again. Tears were still streaming. Your throat was dry and itchy.

He got the water bottle from beside your bed and handed it to you. After drinking well over half of it you said thank you. He sat next to you on the bed

"S'no problem," he said rubbing your shoulders, easing the tension.

The crying had lessened now, and your legs didn't feel as much like jello as they did 10 minutes ago. 

"D'you wanna talk," He asked quietly. 

"Only if you want to hear about my life from 13 to current."

"Of course."

"Well, when I was 13 years old, my older brother, Mathew, was shot in a school shooting at his college. He died a hero, protecting 3 other people, including his boyfriend's little sister. After that my mom got so depressed that I had to take care her and my younger sister. At 13 i was forced to assume the identity of both parents for her. Which meant that I couldn't process my feelings. When I was 14 my dad showed up demanding me and my sister. My mom pulled herself out of her hole and told him to go fuck himself. So that was nice. Then my mom got better, we thought she was fine. After school a few months later, I came home and..." You stopped, a few tears falling at the memory of her lying there. James reassuringly grabbed your hand.

"It's ok. You don't have to tell me."

"No-I... you deserve to know. She had been suicidal and I tried to get rid of all the guns and pills, but one gun i kept. My father's pistol that he gave to me when mom told him to leave. He said to me 'keep this safe, it might come in handy someday' and so I kept it. And. And my mom, she found it."

"Oh god. I'm sorry, love I'm so sorry, he said opening his arms asking for a hug. You accepted his arms. Leaning in, you grasped him tightly as if he would leave if you let go. He wrapped an arm around your waist and stroked your hair softly. 

Over an hour later, you had fallen asleep in his arms. You woke up and saw him still holding you.

"James did you really stay the whole time I was out? You could have left."

"I know. I wanted to stay. You're like a heater," he said, chuckling.

"What time is it," you inquired, getting up to put on a sweatshirt.

"10:34."

"D'you wanna stay over tonight," you asked, secretly hoping he would.

"If that's alright with you. I have to run over and get some pyjamas." And then he left. You felt foolish for falling for him so hard, but he was solid and there. He had never given you reason to doubt him, even if he was reckless and it was a war, you felt you could trust him to come back. He had told you about Connie, his ex wife who had his son and he had told you about how glad he was that she knew that it wasn't going to work out between them, and how it had been a clean divorce leaving the two of them on good terms before their son was born. They were still good friends. 

The sound of knocking woke you from your trance. Opening the door, James was there of course, hotter than ever in a tight white tee-shirt and gray sweats.

“I brought my dvds. I have Dodgeball and Hellboy,” he said, brandishing them.

“I love hellboy!”

After setting the movie up, you got some snacks out and settled in. You both got under the covers and James wrapped and arm around you.

Almost completely through the movie, you abruptly asked him a question. Since you had met, he asked to be called James, his last name. His first name was William, but for some reason he didn’t like it. The thought had been nagging at you for months now and what better time than the present?

“James?”

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“I’m sorry if this is random, but why don’t you go by your first name, William?”

“My father was a deadbeat dick head, and he forced my mom to name me after him. He was quite abusive towards us.  One day after drinking with his sluggard pals, he decided it was a great idea to drive intoxicated. On the highway a trucker ran into him, killing him. I was 10. After that I introduced myself as James because I wanted his memory gone. 

“Damn. He got what he deserved,” you said into his chest whilst hugging him tightly.

“Now whaddaya say we sleep,” James said while the end credits rolled. 

Stifling a yawn, you got up and turned the light off. While climbing back into bed, you turned away from him to sleep. He grabbed you and pulled you close, spooning he and burying his face in your neck.

“Much better,” he mumbled.

That night you got the best sleep of your life. 

[merv606]

Ok, latest installment of Mercy.

“He’s not Terry’s prisoner - he never was.”

Cool, so’s he free to leave then? … That’s what I thought…My god the Cog Diss in this guy is truly astounding.

“Maybe if he pushes Terry far enough the older man will finish off the job he started that night at Stingray’s apartment. Maybe this time he’ll go too far and…”

Oh, Daniel… the decline in his mental health… I’m wondering if either the doctor or nurse has or will suggest anti-depressants for him. I imagine, given their profession, they’re seeing what Terry isn’t (or what he’s choosing to see as something else), no matter how much Terry is paying them to look the other way.

“I gave you freedom… Daniel makes a show of moving his leg, the restraint stopping him from moving it too far.”

God, I can actually see him doing this, no change in expression… LOVE the sass in this man. 😆

“So Daniel gets the pills.”

That worries me, too - roughly how long has he been held captive at this point? How long as he been kept drugged and/or sedated? That has to have an effect on his health.

The ring… Kinda saw it coming, kinda didn’t … “Couldn’t be salvaged” my ass. You know Terry did that on purpose! The fact that he actually gave him the broken pieces… I half expected he was gonna wrestle it from a screaming and crying Daniel or make him give it up. Somehow this is worse, and perfectly inline with Terry.

Terry just takes what he wants then lies about whos whys and hows. To himself and his victim.

I am a little surprised he bothered to give it back, what was this thought process on that?

And it’s just like Terry’s brain to immediately turn to images of Daniel blowing him, *right after* showing him his destroyed ring.

Then he’s like, “Well Daniel’s in a mood today.”

????

This guy has zero empathy and is totally off his rocker.

I can only imagine how Daniel is going to react when he’s forced to sign the divorce papers… and I have no doubt Terry will make Daniel sign them (as opposed to forging them), as a way to drive home the situation and convince himself that, in the act of signing (no matter that it’s under duress), that Daniel is somehow complicit in all this. That they’re taking this journey “together.”

“He would’ve do this for anyone after all.” Which is probably why Daniel is wishing he was anyone else right about now.

“Moldova”… I think our reaction was pretty much the same as Daniel’s. Shit, Terry wasn’t kidding when he said they really will never find him… not that we thought he was, but…

And when Terry actually thinks Daniel is squeezing his hand out of affection instead of horror and panic…

🤮

“Sometimes we have to break the things we love to build them back up stronger than before.”

Holy Hell, this man just DOES NOT see what he doesn’t want to see.

“Right now, he gives into fear and it breaks his heart but all he wants is the reprieve the blankness brings.”

Baby, our hearts have broken right along with yours.

I need to gather this man into my arms and take him straight back to Chozen while slapping Amanda and Johnny upside the head on the way. Chozen will be in touch with them about visitation rights.

I AM DYING FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!!!

👆🏻

Terry isn’t really living in reality and, by necessity, to some degree, neither is Daniel.

Thanks so much - I hope the next chapter and all that come after keep delivering.

Even in death, he’s afraid of disappointing Miyagi and not living up to his memory and teachings.

[allinthefeels]

Starting this back up a little differently. I’m sure no one even read anything I posted anyways.

I’ve come to realize some things… my life just flat out sucks!

Chapter 1: Fake!

I remember always longing for love, affection, and happiness, even as a child. My mom and dad didn’t do the I love yous then, they would often show their love by buying me things. I got to be a teen and realized that.I wanted to hear I love you to know I was important to them, just never got it. Little did I know that’s where it all starts.

I suffer from depression, anxiety, and the fear of being alone with my thoughts and which from here on out will be known as “the demons”, because that exactly what they are. They destroy a person, making them miserable and self destructive! Yet still try and seek the love and affection they didn’t have. Demons can alter your way of seeing yourself. Mine have made me feel unloved, ugly, not at all attractive, not being able to know what real love is. Demons have caused me to be the person who will do anything for you to love them.

I’ve been used for sex, money, rides, basically what ever they want, but wait is that love? Has to be that’s all I know! I’ve been cheated on, left without anything, and lost friends. Wait were they friends? Had to be they really wanted to hang with me as long as I did what they wanted.

I’ve lived in a alternate reality where I thought I knew what love was, I thought I knew happiness. Guess what?!?! They were all fake, the guys never loved me… I was just a passage to someone beautiful. I never knew happiness that was fake too, I was making someone else happy and I thought I’d they were happy that meant I was too. Smiles and laughs can be deceiving

I never was the beautiful one, the cool one, the rich one, I was just searching. I’ve had friends in school, I’ve lost friends in school, particularly my first ever best friend since kindergarten, I lost him in the 4th grade to leukemia. School was no longer fun, school sucked because everyone will eventually leave you sometimes without saying goodbye. I got made fun of years later when I still wasn’t through grief, I’m still not to this day. This kid meant so much to me, he never wanted anything, just to play with me and me be his friend. I will never forget that, ever. Little did I know he’d be the only one that ever was a true friend.

Fast forward to high school, I played every sport I could , sucked at every single one of them. What was worse is seeing everyone have support, my parents both worked, I had no one. Being older now I understand why, but teenager me didn’t, I sucked and no one cared to even try to come and tell me “it’s ok just keep practicing, I’ll practice with you.” Teenager me wasn’t smart, teenager me just wanted love, cue everyone getting boyfriends, so I lied about having one in another town. I have always had a great imagination, so I sold that pretty well, they bought it , or maybe just didn’t care.

Of course teenagers are mean , but teenage girls… there is nothing so evil, hurtful, and straight up that b with an itch word. I got made fun of from everything from my hair to my clothes to just plain hatred for no reason besides you not being popular or rich. Popular kids in my school has and always will be the athletes, cheerleaders, or just someone with well to do family. Guess what … shocking I was none of those. Perfect target…, aim , shoot… laugh and walk off like you won the grand prize., and they wanted to know why I skipped school so much. My only friend I had made got mad at who remembers me hat and I was alone, no thank you if I’m going to be alone I will do it in my home where no one can see. Which come senior year in the yearbook they do this write up about what everyone would be doing so many years later, guess what was written about me ! “Oh look who walked in late , First and last name here, oh wait did she even go to our school!?!” Read in front of everyone at prom, I ran to the bathroom crying with my art teacher following. Funny thing is the girl who helped write that and read it aloud, she for sure knew I went there, she never missed an opportunity to kick me while I was down for the last two years, I’m sure it would’ve been all four if she didn’t just move here. I now trust no one, at all, that hurt, I wasn’t loved, I wasn’t anyone , i officially became a no one that no one would ever remember! Dang these Demons. Stupid me believe them. This really kicked my depression into high gear. I trust no one, not even my art teacher, absolutely no one. And that’s how I finished high school… a no body that no one loved, well after doing summer school for all the days I missed!

[linkman447]

Pyrrha: my turn

She grabs terra

Jaune: what was that about

Everyone looks at him with utter bafflement: how does he not get it

Jaune: what

Saph: oh little bro you’re as dense as ever

Jaune: well if you done making fun of me-

Saph: NEVER

Jaune: I’m going to show Adrian around the school

Jaune takes his leave

Saph: damn that boy I swear he had a harem at his old school but the damn boy could never notice it

Yang: ok I get he’s cute and gifted below the belt but he had a harem ya not believing it

Saph: oh really *she pulls out her scroll showing dozens of girls trying to get jaune’s attention* and that’s just barely half of them

Terra and Pyrrha come walking back terra looking tired and Pyrrha looking happy as can be

Saph: I mean that arslan Altan she and that Reese girl were the two most thirsty girls in the world not to mention his main girl that cinder fall (Salem isn’t as evil she just hates ozpin) now that girl was the definition of Yandere

Pyrrha: wait I know those girls

Yang: you do

Pyrrha: ya cinder was like the popular girl in sanctum and arslan was my rival

Blake: ok what kind of Yandere

Saph: like the obsessive one and would quite literally kill you if she saw you made jaune cry I don’t think that boy what’s his name what ever he was never the same after he bullied jaune

Yang: well it’s not like we will have to deal with those three right

At the entrance of beacon

Cinder: I can’t believe jaune wasn’t back at his home I tried to visit my one and only before I had to come here for the vital tournament * she pulls out her scroll it’s wallpaper being a pic of jaune in the shower* oh my prince I will find you but I must bring victory to my school and you’ll be so impressed you’ll love me

She’s starts to lose it

Cinder: you’ll take me in your arms toss me on the bed and [redacted] until [redacted] I’ll even [redacted] and we’ll have more children than your mother

Jaune: and this Adrian is the statue of our ancestor

Cinder knew that voice she listened to it every night before she went to sleep where she would dream of her prince

Looking at the direction she saw him her knight, her prince, her only reason for living.

Cinder: J-Jaune is that you

He turns in her direction showing Adrian to her

Jaune: Cindy is that you

Normally she would have made a mad dash to her one and only but she was stunned by the baby in his arms

Cinder: who’s this *she point Ms to Adrian*

Jaune: oh this is Adrian he’s sort of my nephew we actually he’s my son

Cinder’s Yandere was in full force: y-your what

Jaune: ya my sister and her wife wanted a baby but you know the doctor stuff is expensive and they didn’t want it from someone they didn’t know so yep they got a baby and I’m a dad

Cinder slightly calming down: so your single

Jaune looking depressed: yep I bet you got guys out the wazoo

Cinder: (oh my I love the vital festival)

Jaune " hay guys meet my family this is saphron my big sistet

Saphron " this is my wife terra with my permission she is jaunes sister in law and baby mama

Terra holding adrian " what Artificial insemination coast too much , it was easier and cheap for me to just mount jaune. Now this is jaune's nephew and son adrian say hi

Adrian " 😇goo goo

Ruby yang blake weiss Nora pyrrha and ren jaw dropped trying to process what they just hear. " ......

[joshriku]

Hello! do you have any cherik fic recs?

i have . so many. (pukes and cries) this is gonna be long but to start off i'm gonna give you my ultimate faves of like. each iteration. so i can be insane. i won't make summaries bc im bad i will just tell you how insane i am.

general thing that none of these have a sad ending or triggering topics bc im. im . I Like Happiness

-curses that can't be lifted by sotano: see. this is about cherik early comics canon right. when they just met in haifa. AND OOOOOOO GH oGH oghghgOGOH I LOVE LEAVING COMMENTS. I LEAVE LONG COMMENTS. I AM VERY ILL IN THE BRAIN WHEN IT COMES TO LEAVING COMMENTS. BUT I LITERALLY STILL CANT FIGURE OUT WHAT TO SAY IN THIS BC I LOVE IT SO MUCH. LIKE ILL COME AROUND EVENTUALLY OF COURSE. BUT IVE READ IT LIKE 50 TIMES AND ITS SO GOOD ITS SO GOOD IT MAKES ME DERANGED i was reading it yesterday again. as i do. and i had to close the tab bc it made me so unwell. i'm so normal

-afterlife by anna: this fic is so good but for my mental health it's in shambles. You don't get it. i'll be pacing around my room thinking back of scenes in this and im like ALRIGHT. PAUSE TO THROW UP AND CRY. EVER SINCE IVE READ THIS I HAVEN'T BEEN THE SAME DO YOU UNDERSTAND. IT'S POST DAYS OF FUTURE PAST AND THAT MAKES ME SO ILLLLLLL I LOVE DOFP SO BAD AND I LOVE CHARLES IN IT AND im like oh man i need something to make me cry and puke and shit myself and cure my depression im gonna read that fic again. And i do it. and i am cured. after i cry myself out to this i am so normal again

-someplace that is green by mugsandpugs: oh my god. Also bad for my mental health like (pucnhign myself) YOU DONT UNDERSTAND. it's technically x-men evolution but if you know cherik you'll understand it either way so. just. wow. erik can fit so much trauma. I can fit so many emotions. i can be so mentally ill. IREAD IT SO MUCH LIEK THE SLOOOOOWWBWBURRNNNNNNNNN AHH AHH AHH (PUKES AND CRIES) AHH WANDA AND PIETRO. AH. DEAR GOD. U DONT GET IT !!!!!! THE WORLDBUILDIGN!! (curls up and cries)

ok yeah. i'll put under the cut all the other recs i have sorry for being unwell

you should read everything by ao3 user sotano btw. not to be demented or deranged. but they never miss. everything they ever write is so . Oh my god. U dont get it. im ill. i will buy them a house

-tabula rasa by o2doko: the telepathy exploration of this goes so fucking hard

-fair verona by ha_neul: i love gender so much you don't ungerstand trans fics are the world to me they really arre

-tesselation by nekosmuse: oh my god. i mean it's a popular fic so it's probably been read. BUT THE SLAY. GOD. THE WRITING. PUKES AND DIES

-travel advisory by penknife: SORRY FOR RECCING 2003 FICS BUT FLOGOGHGOGOGH THE 2003 PEOPLE GOT IT IN WAYS NOBODY ELSE DIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!

-no capes by dedkake: this just hits all the spots of needing lighthearted comedy and keeping the magneto / professor x dynamic i so desperately crave. i love when authors play around with their identities while loosely sticking to canon hehe

-all these miles (just to get back home) by isthiswhatiam: you gotta read everything he posts tbh BUT this one is my personal fav i love post dark phoenix u_u

-in dreams begin responsibility by kass: im telling u the pre 2011 fics go so hard. and for what. My god. uim ill it's so good

-sweet by sadbigchungus: its so good. Do u know how fukcing hard it is to get krakoa cherik content. hard. but this hits all the sweet spots i love it so much it's so good

-a good night's sleep by insertsthmeaningful: Can i just say this author writes so much good fic and i am absolutely obsessed. as well as im obsessed w post assassination in xforce cherik like aoghogogjogghOGGH

-the way it travels in and keeps emitting light by populuxe: it's OGHGOGH i love reading this one. it's so hard to find fics that actually talk about disabilities and this one does it SO well and erik is SO perfect in this fic im sick!!

-a nice boy (the family matters edition) by pocky_slash: i don't wanna talk about how hard i cry when i reread this one i might have family issues of sorts.

-a winter's journey by red: i love old cheirk so mcuh it makes me want to eat my ownf oot

-the trouble with trilbies by obstrinatix: I LOVE. OLD MEN. CHERIK

-& other words by questors: this is so good like the worldbuilding genuinely floors and runs me over until im nothing but an useless dough

-necessary downtime by unforgotten: i . old cherik. Ogjjgjkrlgjlslkfd

-bug on a plate by lindstrom: ANOTHER ONE THAT ACTUALLY DESCRIBES DISABILITIES SUPER WELL AND DOESNT SHY AWAY FROM THEM ITS A HITTTT AND MIDDLE AGED CHERIK JUST HTIS DIFF SORRY

-the last love song and testament of charles f xavier by midrashic: u know what i said about liking afic so much u cant actually bring urself to properly word the comment so youre just waiting and waiting to properly say smth. Yea thats me w this fic too. why's it so fucking good. how am i meant to word my emotions. but hey if i got around to commenting on Afterlife i will to this

-one second and a million miles by madneto: nothing has ever put me through such a slowburn like this fic like it was so insane and crazy i felt like god was slapping me. PLUS. IRENE AND RAVEN ARE IN IT......SLAY!

-bloodbound by ikeracity: u know i didnt care about vampire fics until THIS ONE. WHERE I WAS LIKE. OH. OKAY. THEYRE GOOD ACTUALLY I SEE THE LIGHT IT MAKES SENSE NOW.

-the golden mean by somuchmorethanyouknow: IT'S SO GOOD OK. THE WAY I WISH THIS FIC WAS CANON JSUT BC IT WAS SO GOOD. THE GENOSHA BUILDING OF IT ALL. MY GODDDDDD! I LOVED IT. SO PAINFULLY GOOD. THE WRITING OF CHARLES AND EIRK IS SO EXCEPTIONAL BUT SO IS EVERYONE ELSE IN THE FIC TOO. AH

-make me stay by lynds: well. what can i say. who's to say no to a little telepathy play. sorry for liking bottom erik. as if it's my fault

-before you attempt me (fair warning) by kianspo: i read this one time i was really sad and i shouldnt have because i started crying about never being able to find a love like the one in this fic. anyway it's super good

-everything about it is a love song by pocky_slash: its bad for me. old cherik makes me go through itnso much. i cant believe ill never find love like this

-feels like you're mine by annejumps: Sorry for bottom erik enthusiast. AS IF ITS MY FAULTNTO HAVE SUCH GOOD TASTE

-because it's you that sets the test by equestrianstatue: [DERANGED NOISES] IM LIKEBSO CASUAL ABOUT THIS FIC IM NOT EVEN MENTALLH ILL.

-special studies in mutant topics by populuxe: my ao3 bookmark says "filed under fics i read while having a mental breakdown and saved my mental health" you can bet its so good and sexy and Oghgogngntnntnngng i will have to marry this authors writing style. SUBBING TO THIS AUTHOR ISNT ENOUGH I HAVE TO BUY THEM DINNER IDK

but also the sex thing: this fic ruined my ability to watch dofp. no matter how many times i watch it ill be quoting this fic along to it

thats it. for Now. i actually have more but some of them are just the real popular ones so im like. Yeah youve read it. BUT THE REST MIGHT BE FOR NEXT TIME. I GUESS. SORRY. THIS GOT OUT OF HAND

[snoopdoodle]

hot damn- most I've written on this account yet at 2.1k words- Jesus christ thats a lot-

=======

Dad, but not // pt. 3

FIRST PART \\ SECOND PART

platonic!benchtrio x male!reader, platonic!philza (&mumza) x male!reader, platonic!wilbur x male!reader

pronouns: he/him

summary: randad about to leave, what with phil and mumza do? Stop him, of course.

------

You laughed softly as Tommy yelled into the camera. “What is up, boys!?” He yelled, his voice a bit hoarse from crying. “You've been crying, man?” Tubbo asked, sniffing a bit. “Oh, shut up! You’ve been cryin’ too!” Tommy yelled at the 2. Ranboo had not let go of your hand for a while, and you could tell he was trying not to cry. “Ok, Ok, this is fine-” He spoke, chuckling a bit as he had to take his glasses off to wipe his eyes. “Ok, so, we’ll just go do something fun together, all of us, then you go home,” Ranboo spoke, his tone saddening at the end. The mood sort of depressed after he said this.

He didn’t want you to go, none of you did. Tommy scoffed into the camera, trying to hide his tears. “Alright, you sad-sacks. Let’s get moving. Randad leaves at 6 and it’s 11 o’clock right now! Meaning we still have… 1, 2, 3-” [Name], or ‘Randad’ as he was called by the fanbase, interrupted him. “Eight hours, Tommy. Although, it’s probably less than that since we’ll have to drive. But, let’s not dwell on it. Let’s just have some fun,” You spoke, Tubbo nodded in confirmation as Ranboo squeezed your hand. “Jeez, that was inspirational,” Tommy muttered with sarcasm dripping through his voice. 

You cackled, finding what he said funny. Your [___] accent was shining through in that laugh. Ranboo patted your back, well tried to, as he was also giggling like a maniac. You smiled at the gesture, chuckling to yourself. “I’m here!” a voice yelled, and you all turned to find Wilbur, in all of his 6’6 glory, running toward you all. You smiled and nodded to the man as he slowed his pace. The morning sun shone down, giving his eyes a shine and making them pop. You pat Ranboo on the shoulder, signaling for him to let you go. He sighed sadly but complied. You just pat his back as a small thanks.

You all got on the ride, it was a type of roller-coaster, so Ranboo could barely fit in the seats. You think that the little kids who saw you all and didn’t know who you all thought you were giants. You smiled at the thought. Sure, you were a father, but come on- it was fun to scare kids who didn’t know you! You looked at your hand when you felt someone holding it, it was Ranboo. You grinned at him as the ride went up. Tubbo looked at your hands and stared at them, before deciding to link his pinky with one of your fingers.

Before the ride went down, Tubbo had to make his thoughts known to you both and the camera. “Ya’know, if people didn’t see you both up there and just saw all of us holding hands, they might think we’re a polygon couple, like Big Q, Karl, and SapnNAAPP-'' He was almost able to finish, but the ride started up and left his ideas in the dust. It also cut your laughing fit. The ride shot off down the coaster, and you could hear Tommy’s screams from behind you. You smiled, knowing this day would be great, even though it was your last. The rollercoaster came to a stop as the metal belts came undone. Ranboo’s hair was frizzy and uneven, along with your [color] hair.

You started laughing as you remembered Tubbo’s previous statement. Ranboo and Tubbo began laughing as well. “T-Tub-bo-oh-oh- that was so wrong- hehHAH-” Your son spoke between laughter, and you nodded along to his words. Wilbur looked to you confused as Tommy looked confused and terrified. Your laughter died down, but you knew you would have the giggles for the rest of the day. “Heh heh heh-” You chuckled as you walked through the hall from the ride. Tommy looked at you and gave a lopsided smile. “So, what was the joke-” He wasn’t able to finish as you burst into a peal of wheezing laughter. Your laughter filled the room, and soon enough the others were laughing as well.

You then went past a gift shop, where Tommy promptly stopped and then turned to Wilbur. “Please, Will. I want a gift,” He spoke, one hand pointing the camera in his face and one pointing to the shop’s doors. Wil shook his head with a small laugh, acting as if he would say yes, but what came out caused you to laugh again. “No, Tommy,” You cackled again as Tommy held a pleading look to his face. “Oh, Oh but that’s bullshit, Will! I want a gift!” He slightly yelled at Wilbur. You sighed and slipped away from the group. Hopefully, they wouldn’t notice. Looking on the colorful shelf of the gift shop, you stopped seeing the toys. You saw three stuffed animals and you knew, that’s what you’d get them.

“Dad?” Ranboo asked, stopping the small argument between Wilbur and Tommy. They looked up and craned their heads around for you as Tubbo giggled. He saw you slip into the gift shop but didn’t say anything. You stepped out, the jingle of the bell alerting the four. You smiled as your saw the relief and confusion contort onto their faces. “Look, today is my last day, and I wanted to get a little something for all of you to remember me bye,” You spoke, a small gin coming onto your face. You pulled out a small bee plushie and handed it to Tubbo, who happily took the gift with a grin spreading across his face. You then pulled out a small raccoon toy, which you gave to Tommy. He huffed in annoyance at the gift, but a small smile graced his face at the toy. And last, you gifted Ranboo a small cat plushie. You had always compared him to a cat, so he got the inside joke and gave a little smile under his duel-colored mask.

Wilbur gasped at you in mock shock and frowned. “What about me, Randad?!” He yelled out, causing a tiny scene. It made you chuckle as you pulled out a slinky. “A slinky for you, Wilbur,” You spoke, acting as if he was royalty. He gave a large smile and held his hands out, waiting for the gift to grace his skin. The boy laughed at your antics and started to walk along. You all continued your day, watching as the sun went over your heads. It was around 3:40, and you had to start getting ready to leave. “C’mon boys, let’s go. It’s 3:37,” You spoke, making their smiles and happy faces turn sour. Wilbur gave a small pout, but complied with your request. Tubbo and Tommy huffed out and frowned as Ranboo just made a sad noise.

You all got into your car, heading off to the Airport. Wilbur, Tommy, and Tubbo sat in the back of your car as you and Ranboo sat in the front seats. The car was silent with a hint of sadness all around you. A wave of tears passed over you as you turned the corner. You weren’t an ugly crier, but you sure weren’t a pretty one. Your tears came crashing down onto your face as you stopped the car. You tried to be strong, you really did, but this hurt. You were leaving your son! In Britain! It hurt so bad. Ranboo gave a sniff and pat your shoulder. You smiled as you tried to get out of the car. The airport was less crowded then it should be, but you were still going to have to walk through a crowd.

You felt your phone buzz in your pocket. You looked to Wilbur who gave an ok before he went to get your stuff. It was Kristin. You smiled, wiping your tears a bit and answered your call. “Hey, Kris,” You spoke, adding in the little nickname you had thought of. Your voice was shaky and she could tell you had been crying. So could Phil, who was also in the car. “Hey, [Name], how are you? We’re almost to the airport to say bye!” Kristin spoke, her American accent shining as she yelled into the phone. You smiled at the joy in her tone. “I-I not holding up as well as I wanted to, but hey, I’m happy you're coming here. Wilbur, Tommy, Tubbo, Ranboo and I were just out having a fun day together.. And now that fun day has ended, heh,” You spoke, your voice still shaky as more tears overwhelmed you.

She gave a sad ‘awe’ and you could hear the pout in her voice, “Well, I know how that feels. Wait for up at your port spot, and we’ll all meet up, alright?” You nodded into the phone, and a sniff could be heard on Kristin and Phil’s side. “You got it,” She smiled at Phil and looked at him. “H-Hang on- I need to mute for a second,” She spoke, you sighed and gave your phone to Ranboo who was sitting down, not helping at all. He was still trying to take in the fact that his dad would be leaving him. Kristin turned to Phil after muting. “We have a spare room, right? It has a bed. He’s been over here. He’s a good guy, and you hear how sad he is to leave-” Kristin’s rant was cut off by a chuckle from Phil.

“Sure, hunny, he can stay,” Phil smiled and Kristin gave a joyous nod to her husband as she unmuted the phone. “Hello?” She asked, but she was met with some mumbling. “Ranboo?” It was Phil this time. “Phil? O-oh, hey. Yeah, dad’s doing some stuff right now, you need him?” Ranboo asked, trying to cover his tears. “No, don’t worry, Just wanted to say that we were almost here. Tell your dad, alright mate?” Phil informed. Ranboo gave a small alright and hung up. He stood up and stretched out, walking over to you to tell you that Phil and ‘Mumza’ were almost here.  You gave your son a small smile and all of you walked to your gate. It was a hassle, walking through the crowds, but when you got to your gate, Tommy pulled out his camera and started vlogging. 

“Randad’s about to leave. Unpog,” He spoke into the camera, tears filling his eyes, along with everyone else’s. You chuckled at the comment, before looking around. It had been about 10 minutes and Phil and Kristin still weren’t- “[Name]!” Scratch that, they were here. You got up and walked to Kristin, leaning down to give her a hug. “Hey, Kris, hey Phil,” You spoke sniffling a bit. Tommy turned the camera to Phil and Kristin and gave the camera a teary look. “Look, It’s Dad and Mumza,” Kristin looked at you as you turned to Tommy. She looked to Phil, who nodded in response. “c-Can I have your all’s attention?” She tried, and it worked. She got everyone’s attention. She cleared her throat and looked at you. “[Name], I know how sad you’ve been to leave. And personally, I don’t think anyone wants you to leave. So.. I brought up that you could stay with me and Phil,” Before she could finish, your hands were at your mouth and your body had gone downwards. Tubbo was teary-eyed and smiling, along with Wilbur. Tommy was filming the whole thing and smiling at you all. Ranboo’s hands cupped his mouth.

You were still on the floor, squatting down, when she continued. “Yeah, we have a guest room, you can visit the boys anytime you want… for the most part. So, what do you say?” She finished with the question. Without gestation you got up and nodded, leaning into a hug. The boys cheered and smiled with tears rolling down their cheeks. You looked over to Phil and he gave you a positive nod. You smiled and left the hug with Kristin to hug Ranboo. He returned it. In the end, everyone was crying, you had gotten to live with 2 very good friends. And the viewers were very happy, as you weren’t leaving.

[mizunetzu]

Atsumu + Alcohol

If you make him drunk, I will hug you. Also, glad to see you’re back! :>

He’s drunk. Hug me. Now. But ehehe it makes me happy that you’re glad I’m back :,) NOW HERES DRUNK ATSUMU!

Also only @shiny-bun wanted to be tagged sobs reeeeeaaaal confidence booster I know :,)

——————

Atsumu x reader - Sweet, Sweet Lies Called Drunk Miya Atsumu

⚠️warnings - mentions of alcohol through the fic. reader records videos of atsumu drunk whenever he sees him. It isn’t in a sexual way at all; and reader doesn’t touch atsumu unconsentually at all. Just likes to watch him drunk bc he loves him still :,)

Also: FUCKING ANGST. you know it’s fuckign angsty when I got emotional writing it. Also, grammarly proof read it don’t trust it.

Pronouns - male, he/him

——————

“I think we should break up.” 

(Y/n) blinked, before down casting his head. He said nothing for a while, before opening his mouth again bluntly.

“...ok.”

Atsumu furrowed his brows. He gripped the coffee mug resting on the cafe table just a bit harder. He certainly wasn’t expecting that answer. “...Ya aren’t gonna ask why? Yer just ok with it?”

“Well,” (Y/n) emotionlessly bit into a small biscuit. His expression was unreadable, blank like a piece of paper. “It’s not like I can change your mind, ‘Tsumu.”

“But...can I at least know why?”

The two went silent. Atsumu pursed his lips, trying to find the words to say while (Y/n) sat there expectantly. Eventually, Atsumu looked back up from his coffee mug.

“S’a lot of reasons, I think. ‘M busy with volleyball, ‘specially since it’s my job now,” Atsumu chuckled awkwardly. It was true, with the Black Jackals, he was being paid to do something he loved. “And...I...”

“I think I found a girl I really like.”

(Y/n) looked down at his lap numbly. He already knew it was coming, he wasn’t blind to the faint lipstick marks Atsumu tried to wipe away when he came home, or the smell of expensive perfume that stained him when he would come back from ‘practice’. He knew, he knew yet...

“Ah.”

Was all he could say.

——

Atsumu downed his third can of cheap beer, hissing loudly and slamming it down on the bar.

“I hate life! M’gonna fuckin’...! Run away and shit!”

Sakusa hummed. “Oh no. What happened now.”

Loud, irritating club music blared through the bar’s speakers. Atsumu slumped over the counter, making Sakusa and Bokuto lean back.

“Oi! ‘Tsum-Tsum! What’s wrong buddy?” Bokuto poked repeatedly at Atsumu’s head, making him groan and pathetically try and flick his hand away.

“M’...M’so sad...” Atsumu whimpered. Sakusa rolled his eyes while Bokuto frowned. Atsumu continued to mumble sadly into his arms until he slowly became more agitated, and whipped his drunken head up. 

“Shoyo’s got a nice boyfriend! That fuckin’...Kodzuken youtuber dude! Why can’t I! If I were Shoyo, I’d be laying on my boyfriend’s lap and bein’ all cute and shit —but here I am! Fuckin’ drinkin’ and bitchin’ and fuckin’...fuck! Fuckin’ Shoyo! Fuckin’ Kodzuken! Fuckin’—”

“But didn’t you just break up with that girl you were seeing for like, months now? Thought you were straight, man!” Bokuto said, playing with the little garnish on his drink. Atsumu deadpanned, swallowing thickly before letting his head thump down onto the table. 

“Thought I was. M’gayer than if unicorns shat me out.”

Sakusa sipped on his fancy, green drink. “Is this about (L/n)-san, again-“

“‘Course it’s about (Y/n)!”

Atsumu waved at the bartender to grab him another drink. The bartender looked him up and down, before shrugging and leaving off to grab another beer. Sakusa looked at Atsumu with a disappointed expression.

“You do realize that every time we drink, you get shit-faced drunk, complain about (L/n)-san, call (L/n)-san, then he picks you up and you wake up in his house because he’s too nice to refuse to pick you up. And you regret and bitch to me every single time.” Sakusa closed his eyes and took a long sip from his drink. “Honestly I don’t know why I still come with you guys if I know it’s gonna end up like this.”

“Hey! ‘Tsum-Tsum has his problems and he’s just letting them out!” Bokuto defensively waved his arms around, gesturing to Atsumu on the table, laying down his head in his arms. Both Sakusa and Bokuto were pretty sure he was ugly sobbing. Or at least babbling nonsense that sounded like sobs.

“He can’t even sit up straight. And Miya-san was the one who broke up with (L/n)-san for another girl. He has no right to be complaining.”

“S-Still! ‘Tsumu’s the homie! Let him rant!” Bokuto chugged down his drink. 

Sakusa fished his phone out of his pocket. He scrolled down his list of contacts, before clicking on one that read ‘(L/n)-san. (Atsumu’s pick-me-up)’. The phone’s screen turned black, displaying (Y/n’s) profile pic with a ‘contacting...’ right under it in fine print. 

“Sure, Bokuto-san. Whatever you want.”

——

“Fuckin’...let go of me, Omi!” Atsumu slurred. He, however, made no attempt to push Sakusa off as he dragged him outside the bar. Bokuto had long gone, and Atsumu was a few drinks overdue for his trip home. 

Sakusa sighed, standing out in the cold with his mask pulled up to his face. Atsumu lolled his head onto Sakusa’s shoulder, either in an attempt to push him off or just pure drunkenness. “Don’t drool on me, Miya-san.” Sakusa cringed.

Atsumu was about to retort back, until both his and Sakusa’s attention was drawn to a home-y, black car that pulled up right in front of them. The driver’s door clicked open, and someone in a baggy sweater and sweatpants emerged from the car. 

“Please take him, (L/n)-san. I’m sorry for always calling you to-”

“It’s fine!” (Y/n) chuckled, opening the passenger’s side door for Sakusa to throw Atsumu’s body in. “‘Tsumu’s been drinking a lot, huh? Isn’t this the third time this month I had to pick him up?” 

Atsumu groaned when Sakusa clipped in his seatbelt. He sighed when Atsumu began tugging at it like a child, not knowing how to unbuckle it himself. “Actually, it’s the fourth time. But he has a reason today, I think.”

“He finally broke up with Yumena-san.”

Breath hitched in (Y/n’s) throat. He covered his shock up with a smile, however, and closed the car door with Atsumu in it. “Aw. Well, I better uh, drive him home, now. Bye-bye, Sakusa-kun.”

Sakusa nodded. (Y/n) stepped into his car tentatively. Ignoring the way Atsumu was still tugging at his seatbelt, he started up the car, and drove. 

“I’m...sure you won’t mind sleeping over at my place again...right, ‘Tsumu?” (Y/n) mumbled, more to himself than to the drunktard sprawled out onto his car seat. He silently unlocked his phone, tapping on the camera app and propping his phone up on his dash. He hit record, and withdrew his hand back to the steering wheel. Atsumu eyed it suspiciously, before shrugging it off sleepily.

“Naaaah…” Atsumu slurred. He threw his head haphazardly onto the armrests separating his seat from (Y/n’s), trying to get as close to his ex as possible. “Yer apartment smells good...I miss it...I miss you…”

Shifting so he was still laying on the armrest, Atsumu tucked his arm under his head like a pillow. “Yer so...pretty…love you so much...”

(Y/n) pursed his lips. Atsumu smiled dumbly, pointing a finger gun at (Y/n). “We should-you and I should like, totally get back together n’ shit…” Atsumu stopped, letting out a hiccup, before continuing. “I miss you...n’ I love you…”

Stopping at a red light, (Y/n) looked down at Atsumu, who was staring back at him with half-lidded eyes. (Y/n) averted his gaze, chuckling awkwardly. “...You don’t mean that. You’re just drunk.”

Atsumu shot up. “But I do! M’so sad without you!” Atsumu loosened his seatbelt enough so he could rest his face on (Y/n’s) forearm. “You were the best thing in my life, n’ I need you back! I love you so muuuuuuch!”

(Y/n) stayed quiet for a second, glancing at his camera pointed directly at Atsumu nuzzling his face into his arm. He slowed the car to a stop, taking out his keys and pressing the ‘Stop’ button on his phone. He slipped both of them into his pockets.

“We’re here. C’mon, get up.” (Y/n’s) voice was barely above a whisper. After sitting in his car for a while, he finally got up, and walked over to the other side to haul Atsumu’s corpse-of-a-body out of his seat. “Fuck...sometimes I wish my apartment wasn’t on the third floor-’Tsumu! You can walk if I support you, right? I’m not carrying you.”

Atsumu pressed all his weight against (Y/n). “What if I want my boyfriend to carry me like a princess n’ shit…”

“I’m-” (Y/n) swallowed. His voice was quiet and shaky again. “I’m not your boyfriend. You say stupid things when you’re drunk...”

Atsumu was about to protest, when (Y/n) looped his arm under his own arm. 

“Let’s go. You need rest.”

The walk to (Y/n’s) apartment was silent.

——

Atsumu pouted, eyeing down the way Kenma was showing a video on his phone to Hinata and smiling. Hinata grinned widely, his eyes glued to Kenma’s phone screen until an obnoxious sigh drew his eyes away. 

“Why’d ya even invite me here...M’just third wheelin’ on yer guys's little date time.” Atsumu frowned, dramatically slumping in his seat. Kenma hunched his shoulders down, suddenly becoming very aware of the way Atsumu not-so-subtly stared him down. He brought his coffee cup to his lips, trying to hide behind the cup itself. 

Hinata defensively wrapped his arms around Kenma. “Oiiiii! We invited you over because you always get super-duper depressed after waking up hungover at (L/n’s)!”

“I’m more depressed now that yer all cuddly-wuddly with yer frickin’ boyfriend while m’sitting here with my single ass!”

“Miya wakes up hungover at (Y/n’s)?” Kenma quietly asked Hinata. He nodded. Atsumu started flailing his arms around, trying to get Hinata to stop talking, but he didn’t seem to take the hint.

“Every time he goes drinking, he ends up crying about how much he still loves (L/n)—and ends up either calling him or someone else calls him to go pick him up. Either way, he wakes up super embarrassed and awkward in (L/n’s) bed and sulks the rest of the time at practice.” 

Atsumu sat there, feeling like he’d been shoved to the front of a volleyball court completely naked. Kenma blinked, before looking down again.

“Oh.”

“That’s all yer gonna say-!?”

“I guess it kind of makes sense, now.”

Atsumu stopped mid-sentence, looking at Kenma with a confused expression. Kenma tried to dodge Atsumu’s eyes again, this time tugging on Hinata’s sleeve.

“...What makes sense now?”

Kenma had the look of ‘I said too much.’, trying to change the topic or hoping Hinata would swoop in and change it for him. But alas, no such thing happened. “I don’t think (Y/n) would…”

Hinata suddenly tugged back at Kenma’s sweatshirt, gesturing to turn around with him for a private conversation. They both turned their heads, mumbling out little ‘video-!’, ‘(Y/n)-!’ and ‘Atsumu-!’s here and there. Atsumu glanced from Hinata, to Kenma, before pouting that he’d been left out of the conversation.

Eventually, both Kenma and Hinata turned around again, looking directly at Atsumu. He stared back at them with doe-like confused eyes, when Kenma fished out his phone. 

“If we show you, you promise to act like you never knew at all?” Hinata childishly extended his pinky finger out to Atsumu, to which he nodded vigorously and hooked his own pinky with his. Kenma piped up.

“The reason I said it made sense was because I found a folder in (Y/n’s) phone titled, and I quote: ‘Sweet, Sweet, Lies called Drunk Miya Atsumu (watch when sad)’. They’re filled with video’s of you, drunk, blabbing about how much you love him.”

Atsumu stared at Kenma.

“Yer fuckin’ lyin’.”

“I’m...really not.” Kenma turned his phone screen around, displaying a video filmed in what seemed to be (Y/n’s) car. Atsumu leaned down and peered at the video, seeing his head frozen in place in the corner of the screen. Kenma felt around for the play button, tapping until it started playing. 

Atsumu watched the video in horror, his face going milk white as he watched himself cry and sob about how much he wanted to get back with (Y/n). Right in front of him. The video ended, and Atsumu looked up with the hope of getting hit with a bus. 

“How...did you get-”

“I airdropped this one to myself when (Y/n) was in the bathroom one day because I found this one funny.” Kenma mumbled, turning his phone around and inspecting the screen. “There’s millions of them on his phone, this one isn’t even the worst. Some of them are in his apartment when he’s trying to get you into bed, and I think there’s one where you beg him to cuddle with yo-”

“Stop! Stop! No more!” Atsumu covered his face, embarrassed. Kenma let his mouth fall shut, while Hinata snickered into his drink. Atsumu let his head smack onto the table. “What did I do to deserve this…”

“Hey!” Hinata quipped, his positive voice making Atsumu’s brain hurt. “You know what that means, right?”

“That (Y/n) probably wants blackmail or revenge on me for breaking up with him?” Atsumu grumbled into his hands.

“Wh-no, what,” Kenma said. “He means-”

“(L/n) still loves you! I mean-he saves videos of you saying you love him to watch when he is sad or lonely or whatever, that means he loves you still! It was even in the title!”

Atsumu glared at Hinata like he was squinting at the sun. Kenma shrugged. 

“S’true. He told me himself he watches them when he goes to sleep n’stuff.”

“Yer lyin’.”

“Was he lying when he showed you the video?” Hinata raised his eyebrow. 

Atsumu opened his mouth, before letting it clamp shut and shaking his head ‘no’.

——

Clinging to his side like a kicked puppy, (Y/n) found himself nursing a drunk, sobbing Atsumu at his apartment once more. 

“Tsum-” (Y/n) struggled to stick his key in his door’s keyhole with the way Atsumu was quite literally hanging off him. It was like he was trying to pull (Y/n) to the ground with him. “Atsumu! I’m trying to-”

“Don’t leaaaaave meeee! I love you!” Atsumu sobbed. He wiped his messy face onto (Y/n’s) jacket. 

Finally sticking the key inside and turning it, (Y/n) pushed open the door and patted at Atsumu’s ruffled hair. “I’m not leaving, ‘Tsumu. Just taking you to bed, is all. We’re still...friends...I think.”

“Don’t wanna be your friend.” Atsumu sniffled, as he staggered into (Y/n’s) room with the support of his body. He was thrown on the bed with a loud groan, as (Y/n) went to grab his phone. “We were meant to be together...boyfriends...soulmates…!”

“I wish you meant that,” (Y/n) chuckled, setting up his phone, pointing it at his bed and pressing record. “Gave it up after the fifth time you came here sloppy drunk, though. It really is just you talking out of your ass.”

The hint of bitterness in (Y/n’s) voice increased unsteadily, wavering like a candlelight. “I-I mean, you say all these nice things-then the next morning you either deny everything you said, or leave before I can even say goodbye! Or you don’t even remember most of the time!”

(Y/n’s) disgruntled laugh made Atsumu blink. He eventually simmered down, looking down at the floor and busying himself with searching through his desk. 

“That’s okay though. I have these little videos of your lies to keep me company. I can live with that just fine.” (Y/n) turned to Atsumu, holding up painkillers and setting them atop the desk. “...Sorry for problem-dumping on you, ‘Tsumu. I know you want sleep.”

“Don’t take these yet. They’re for tomorrow.” (Y/n) rattled the painkillers in their box, before producing a water bottle and extending it to Atsumu. He looked at the bottle like it was some foreign object. The water sloshed around when (Y/n) swirled it around Atsumu’s face. “It’s for your hangover tomorrow. Drink up, ‘Tsum-Tsum.”

“Only if you cuddle with me.”

(Y/n) pursed his lips. “No.”

“Then m’not drinkin’ the fuggin’ water!”

“Atsum-!” (Y/n) sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He set down the bottle of water on his nightstand, and rested his hands on his hips. “...If I give you a tiny hug, will you drink all the water and go to sleep?”

Atsumu nodded vigorously.

(Y/n) expected him to stand up and give him a hug, but instead, he opened his arms and sat expectantly, waiting for something to crawl between them. He was so far back on the bed, (Y/n) would probably have to lay awkwardly in his chest until he was satisfied.

So that's what (Y/n) did, after what felt like hours of contemplating and clenched jaws. He bit his lip, climbing slowly towards Atsumu on the bed. Atsumu smiled dumbly, and scooped him up in his arms like a claw machine. 

What Atsumu didn’t expect, was (Y/n) to stiffen up, surprised, before melting into his arms pathetically. He clumsily wrapped his arms around Atsumu’s torso, his body curling into the shape of his own like dough. He let his head slump in the crook of Atsumu’s neck, taking in a shaky, deep breath and sighing heavier than he meant to. 

(Y/n) figured he must’ve forgotten how much he relished being wrapped up in Atsumu’s arms, because he found himself not wanting to let go of Atsumu’s shirt that reeked of alcohol.

Still, after what was probably only a few candid seconds, (Y/n) pushed himself away from Atsumu, who slumped back on the bed confused, and wobbled his way back onto his feet. 

“There…” (Y/n) breathed. He had the most unreadable expression, and his voice was quiet and raspy. “Now-now drink th-the water...you promised.” 

Atsumu shrugged, swiping the water from the nightstand, and chugging it sloppily. (Y/n) went to work removing Atsumu’s socks, pants, and other things uncomfy to sleep in, until he was left in his boxers and t-shirt. Atsumu stared at (Y/n) sleepily, as he grabbed a spare pillow and blanket, and threw them on the swivel chair near his desk.

“...Y-Yer not gonna sleep here with me?”

(Y/n) furrowed his eyebrows, reaching over to stop his phone from recording, and curled up on the chair with his pillow. His voice was meek under the thin blanket he wrapped himself in. “You always ask, and i’ll always say no. Honestly I don’t know why you keep asking.”

“You look cold.”

“I’m...really not.”

“S’comfier on the bed.”

“...I like this chair.”

“I can scoot over-”

“Miya, if I give in and cuddle with you, everythings gonna be sunshine and rainbows ‘til the next morning—where you wake up next to me and regret everything! I’m-i’m trying to save your dignity here so stop asking!” (Y/n) croaked. He clutched his blanket tighter. “You’re drunk! You aren’t thinking! I already gave your-your stupid hug so stop it! How do you think I feel!?”

Atsumu rubbed at his head. (Y/n’s) hot face immediately flushed out, his voice quieting down back into his normal voice. 

“Ah...I’m...sorry. You’re...tired and I probably shocked you with my-by being loud n’stuff.” (Y/n) bowed his head slightly, before shifting away from Atsumu in his little swivel chair. “Sorry. Go to sleep now. Night, ‘Tsumu.”

When he heard shifting on the bed, (Y/n) grabbed his earphones and turned out the light. Plugging in his earphones hurriedly, he switched on his phone, clicking on the photos app and on today's video of Atsumu to cheer him up. He even caught the hug on camera, so he was looking forward to that. 

Dimming his phone's brightness to not disturb Atsumu, (Y/n) scrolled through the video, everything moving in fast-motion until (Y/n) saw himself climb into Atsumu’s arms. He paused the video there, smiling numbly, and taking a screenshot. 

Before he could add the video to the rest of his collection of drunk-sumu videos, he was suddenly hauled up and hanging upside down. He was tossed over Atsumu’s shoulder, not even having time to protest before he was thrown carefully onto his own bed. 

“Hey-Tsu-” Atsumu said nothing, climbing into the bed gracefully after (Y/n) and pulling the covers over the both of them. “Listen to me-! Let me go-!”

“If yer gonna keep sayin’ shit like...like i’ll regret it in the mornin’...fuckin’... let me,” Atsumu slurred. (Y/n) opened his mouth to speak, but Atsumu beat him to it. “S’my fault…’n...m’gonna deal with it in the mornin’. S-so lemme hold you.”

(Y/n) knitted together his eyebrows, looking conflicted on what he should do. He’d been so, so good at restraining himself from stealing hugs and kisses from Atsumu when he was drunk, and his reward was the videos. If he messed it up now, would Atsumu be too embarrassed to let himself get picked up by (Y/n) when he was drunk? Was he really willing to potentially give up future lovey-dovey drunk videos, and seeing Atsumu tell him he loved him for one night in his arms again?

He was. 

(Y/n) relaxed, a numb expression on his face. He was just about done. One last time of drunk Atsumu holding him for a whole night, then it was time to move on. Hell, maybe after tonight, and after explaining to a very-embarassed hungover Atsumu in the morning that “No, we did not have sex,” maybe, just maybe, he would finally delete the videos. The video’s of his ex who didn’t love him anymore, feeding him drunk lies of ‘I love you’ and ‘I miss you’, and finally moving on with his life. 

(Y/n) ran his fingers through his hair, and let out a tuckered-out sigh. Maybe after he stopped clinging to the past, he could be normal friends with Atsumu Miya again. 

(Y/n) looked at Atsumu with dry eyes. He let himself succumb to Atsumu’s warm chest, breathing in his scent for what could possibly be the last time. Atsumu purred happily, adjusting so he could wrap both arms around (Y/n), using one as a pillow for him and another to wrap around his body. (Y/n) hummed dryly.

Atsumu giggled. “...Love you...so much.”

(Y/n), for once out of all the time’s he’d always respond with ‘No, you don’t.’ or ‘You’re just drunk.’, said:

“I love you too.” 

“...hehe...he…” Atsumu kissed the crown of (Y/n’s) forehead, before nuzzling it with his nose. “I love you sososo much.”

(Y/n) was quick to respond, even though his throat began closing up and making it hard to speak. You could probably tell he was on the verge of tears. “Me too, ‘Tsumu. I love you most.”

“I love you so much…” Atsumu began, this time his voice way more clearer and sober than what he’d been speaking with this whole night. 

“...That i’d pretend m’drunk just to see you again.”

“...”

(Y/n) blinked, not quite processing his words. He shrunk inside Atsumu’s cage-like arms, before timidly meeting Atsumu’s eyes. They seemed much clearer, less hazy from ‘alcohol’, and they stared back at him with it’s usual ‘Atsumu’ look.

“...huh…?”

Atsumu patted (Y/n’s) head. “Yer so cute. I love you so much.”

“Wh-wait-” (Y/n) tried to wriggle his way out of Atsumu’s arms. “You-you’re not-”

“Nope. All I did at the bar tonight was watch Bokkun and Shoyo-kun drink so i’d smell like alcohol. Then I told—well, paid Omi-Omi to call you sayin’ I was drunk again, so I could see what stupid shit I did at your place when I was drunk.”

“Though,” Atsumu nodded at the discarded phone on the ground, next to (Y/n’s) makeshift swivel chair-bed. “I could've just asked to see that video of me. Or the rest of them, ‘coordin’ to Kozume-kun.”

(Y/n) sputtered, trying to find the words to speak, but finding himself too embarrassed to. He’d, finally, been caught red-handed. 

He sighed, casting his head down, before crawling out of his bed and taking the walk of shame to his phone. “...You caught me,’Tsu...Atsumu. Caught me real good, Atsumu.”

(Y/n) scrolled through his phone, searching for the album full of his drunk video’s of Atsumu. He clicked on it, then waved his phone around guiltily. He turned the phone around, peering down at it sheepishly. “Don’t worry, I’ll delete all of these...and I...I can drive you home if you want.”

“Nah. M’pretty comfy here.” Atsumu laid back down. “I’d be comfier if you were in my arms again, though.”

Atsumu made grabby arms towards (Y/n). (Y/n) blinked, searching Atsumu for any sort of satire. He found none, and nervously inched toward Atsumu until he was pulled back into his chest. The phone was, once again, forgotten on the floor. 

“Wheeeeeey, there we go~” Atsumu nestled down onto the bed, crooning (Y/n) in his arms and stroking his head. “Ain’t that comfy.”

He pressed a small kiss to (Y/n’s) forehead. “Love you. Goodnight~”

“...Wait, n-no you-”

Atsumu pressed another kiss onto (Y/n’s) face, promptly shutting him up. He tried speaking again, just to have another kiss placed onto his face. This cycle went on, (Y/n) trying to voice out his protests just to be hushed with kisses all over his face, until he reduced into a pile of hot tears, melting his face off raw. 

Atsumu kissed (Y/n’s) tears away. When more kept coming, Atsumu pulled back, stroking (Y/n’s) hair as gently as he could. Gentle was not a word to describe Miya Atsumu, but he sure as hell would try. 

“Stop cryin’...” Atsumu whispered, kissing another falling tear away. “I came here to win ya back, not make you cry…”

“I-I’m sorry-” (Y/n) sobbed out between hics. “I just- I missed you so-”

“I did too.” 

They sat there, small hics coming from (Y/n) as Atsumu quietly stroked his hair, and in all honesty, they would have laid there forever. But (Y/n) finally wriggled his way out Atsumu’s grasp, timpering his way to his phone. 

He picked it up, fiddling with it, before turning his phone screen around. Atsumu leaned closer. 

‘Sweet, Sweet, Lies called Drunk Miya Atsumu (watch when sad) - 0 videos’

“Deleted them all.” (Y/n) murmured. “Figured I wouldn’t need them anymore now that I got you here…”

Atsumu blinked before erupting into a wide smile. He sprang off the bed and attacked (Y/n) with a big, bear hug. “You bet yer ass you won’t!” 

He peppered kisses around (Y/n’s) face, and instead of crying, (Y/n) began to smile.

“Stop it-that tickles! ‘Tsumu-!” The red tear stains on (Y/n’s) face were barely noticeable under the flurry of kisses he was under. Atsumu grinned stupidly into (Y/n’s) skin.

“Ya know full well you don’t want me to.”

And he didn’t.

Atsumu pressed one final kiss to (Y/n’s) face, this time, and for the first time in a long time: on his lips.

——————

I’m really proud of this 👉👈 I’d like it if I could get a lil,,,reblog,,,with thoughts,,,or comments,,,aha ha ha,,,

Lil thing I found funny