#''lots of talk about transgenders on this site. what are your thoughts?''

[thethingything]

fascinated by the person who followed us the other day who was posting about everyday aspects of being a single mum and tagging everything with stuff like "bdsm mommy", "mommy kink", "mommy milkers", "domme mommy", etc, (note that none of the posts were even remotely kink-related) but then had a post that was like "wait there's pornography on this site?" with tags like "concerned mom".

anyway she's deactivated now but I would love to know what was going on there and what her very brief experience of this hellsite was like because looking at her blog was a kind of surreal experience

[euniexenoblade]

re: egg discourse

i thought it was just people saying that specifically making jokes about someone being trans but not knowing it yet can be kinda invalidating and sometimes traumatic. are people actually saying you should never tell someone that they might be trans?

i dont really have a side in the debate it just feels like people are willfully misunderstanding eachother and its making my brain hurt

"making jokes about someone being trans but not knowing it yet can be kinda invalidating and sometimes traumatic"

Sure, but it also isn't for a lot of people. And, a lot of people I talk to say egg jokes helped them realize who they were. Though I do think part of this resistance to an egg joke is actually internalized transphobia at points (the idea of being compared to trans people is being treated as degrading in a lot of these people's arguments) the truth of the matter is different people need and want different things. Me making eggs jokes with my friends is not your friend group.

This is why the recurring complaint of our side is it's never egg jokes can make people uncomfortable, 'make sure your friends are cool with them before just doing them,' it's always complaining about trans women forcing cis men to be women or trans women being "transvestigators" or "similar to Christian missionaries." People who are uncomfortable with egg jokes are always projecting their discomfort onto other people, other friend groups, and portray harmless fun between friends as something abusive.

Like for example,

this is a projection. the egg jokes people are talking about happen among friends and stuff, but this person is doing a whole "never make egg jokes because people did it about me and made me feel bad" (oh woe is you, people thought you might be transgender, how disgusting to be a tranny). The majority of egg jokes are not about random ass people, it's within friend groups. And, if you don't like your friends saying them, tell them to stop. If they don't? Then stop being their friends. Also from that post

The underwater filter butchered that. I know you can't read it but I wanted to post it cuz fucking look at that. What the hell. Anyways,

This opposition to egg joke people always talk about strangers. As if we're walking up to random people on the street and making egg jokes about them. It's mostly contained to friend groups. This is just an inaccurate portrayal of what's actually being discussed, and I'm sure the op will be like "I'm talking about my experience!" but OP openly admitted that this rant was relevant to a random blogger complaining about an egg tweet a woman made about her own friend group that neither this OP or that blogger are part of. They are actually dictating how strangers are allowed to act and identify with this, not the egg jokesters.

Yeah, once and a while you get shit like "Aaron Bushnell seems transfem" which was a completely innocuous convo that no one would have seen if well known transmisogynists who accuse random trans women of pedophilia like three times a year hadn't found the post. It was a trans woman seeing herself in someone important in history, and even if someone said something inappropriate, the backlash was undeserved. Yall say embarrassing shit all the time and no one's running you off the web site for it.

I'm sorry this person and others seem to have a bad time with egg jokes (though most of the time, what they describe isn't egg jokes but that's a whole other thing), but their few experiences can not be used to determine a blanket response to something so many people actually do enjoy and find useful. I'm especially not gonna take a cis person's opinions on egg jokes seriously (since so many have seemed to gotten involved and think their opinion on this matters).

"are people actually saying you should never tell someone that they might be trans?"

Yes! That's like, the entire underlying premise of this! Like, 100% this is the backbone of every anti-egg joke argument. That's the entire concept of "egg prime directive." And, it's overwhelmingly weaponized against trying to help transfems realize themselves sooner than they would. From the aforementioned Bushnell drama, to the polls where a shit ton of transmascs voted it was ok to tell an eggy friend they might be a trans man but NOT ok to tell an eggy friend they might be a trans woman, to the newest drama where chongoblog whined about a random trans woman on twitter making egg jokes about her friend (which it was later revealed chongoblog misrepresented the tweet), the anti egg joke committee / "You can't tell anyone they're trans!!!" crew are always wielding this ideology against transfems / trans women but practically never against transmascs.

This is why it's constantly said that these posts and arguments are transmisogynistic in nature. "I'm a trans woman and I say eggs jokes are bad, so it can't be transmisogynistic you're just using that as a shield!" That's great but 1) maybe read between the lines, or read the criticisms you're clearly ignoring and maybe you'll see these people don't respect you 2) the whole "using transmisogyny as a shield" is like, classic transmisogyny at this point. We've been hearing that from anti-feminists, cryptoterfs, and trans woman hating google doc writers for a few years now and 3) you being complicit doesn't mean we gotta care about what you say.

"it just feels like people are willfully misunderstanding eachother and its making my brain hurt"

Oh, I'm sure this is absolutely the case. The problem is a bunch of transphobes are really who spurred a lot of this drama up earlier this year and instead of people thinking "oh these people have bad intentions I shouldn't boost this" they instead were like "Yeah! I don't like egg jokes!" and now we have to deal with trans women making egg jokes (normal, harmless, pro-trans and literally want to help trans people) being compared to transvestigators (a literal anti-trans hate group thing). The issue is people aren't treating us as people, and thus it gets returned in kind.

What's the answer to this? Mutual understanding that "some people need to be told they're trans," "some people don't respond well to being told who they are," "egg jokes can help people and be a fun joke for friends," and "some people are uncomfortable with egg jokes" can all coexist. But, honestly, I don't think we'll ever get there.

[cringefail-hermitry]

I've been wanting to make a post like this for a while now, and well, having just finished a crucial stage of my life, I think this is a good a time as any.

It's gonna be a long one

Like, *LONG* long

Like, I Am Going To Mention Every Single One Of My Mutuals By Name long (if you'd rather not be tagged in the future, do warn me)

First of all, the primary purpose of this post is as a letter of thanks for the wonderful months you Tumblr peeps have provided me this year. I am not hesitant to say joining the hellsite was the single best decision I have made in the last 12 months, heck, I think about 2/3rds of the friends I mantain regular contact with nowadays came from here. But this wouldn't be a long post if it was just a brief "thanks y'all for improving my life". I'm gonna get into detail. And I'm gonna be sappy about it. You can't stop me. You're not my mother. And not even my mother could stop me from posting this.

I would've said "I thought long and hard about who I'd start with", if there was any question about it. There isn't. @tearychildren, where do I even fucking begin. I can't really say anything too specific because if I begin I don't think I'll stop and half this post is gonna be about you, and this is already a very long post, so I'm just going to leave it at this, you already know well enough just how much you matter to me.

Going onwards, another of the early spots goes to who I believe was my first mutual, definitely one of the first people I followed, @chlorohexidine, a long-time mutual and recent good friend, our daily chats, however short, never cease to be highlights of my days, your art is really cute (love me some rounded shapes) and brainstorming ideas for your TTRPG campaigns is always fun (I really like your worldbuilding, too). It's only fair to mention your (and my, just needed to make this segue well) good friend @xsenpi, infodumping touhou to you both genuinely got me through that month, and Undertale 2: Revenge of The Robots with Rei and TC has been a blast so far.

@soundsofastar is another that warrants special mention for actually changing my brain chemistry and making me appreciate the local wildlife even more than usual (if we ever meet in person, WE ARE GOING ON A NICE LONG WALK TO LOOK AT BIRDS TOGETHER, WHEREVER IT IS WE ARE WHEN THAT HAPPENS, MARK MY WORDS). Your art also makes me feel things. Not many things make me feel stuff a lot. That is impressive. I should be in a good spot to finish reading the Illuminae Files within the next few days, so please do pester me about it, otherwise the piece of media that the next person I'll talk about recommended to me will consume all the time I'd read it in.

So, the next person I'll talk about, @northwest-cryptid, thanks for letting me use our DMs as my Mabinotepad, and for getting me into Mabinogi in the first place, you've been both the direct and the indirect cause of many good times, and I gotta be honest I kinda admire you a lil' bit (and if you know anything about how I talk, I am horrible at expressing vulnerability, admiration and these sorts of emotions without a bunch of euphemisms unless I'm doing this sort of tangent where I attempt to talk about myself in a more depersonalized way, so what that sentence there essentially means is "I admire you a lot and you are an inspiration").

Another pivotal figure in how this year shaped out is @ratlesshonret, creator of The Bird Nest, site of many good times, who has exposed me and many others to some wonderful media (I AM GOING TO FINISH POCKET MIRROR SOMETIME, MARK MY WORDS), reading through all the chats in the server is usually a blast, too. Your contributions to my life cannot be understated. Seriously, thanks.

The next great friend I'll mention is @transgender-lea-crosscode, we've started talking more only recently, but have already bonded a fair bit, I reckon, damn you're good at Blazblue. You've dared to make me good at the game and for that, I commend you. You should say words about Zeroranger in my general direction sometime, I'd be happy to hear/read them.

Now for those mutuals that I don't really speak to, but are responsible for like, 75% of my total notes, like, everyone is more than welcome to jump into my DMs and start talking about anything whenever, but y'all specifically are folk I'd have started talking with regularly ages ago if I knew what to talk about. @hoshinoreika2004, @ward-leon, @edenplumreal, @tabnk2, @tapok-eve , @boofbv and @sorcerousbrick, thanks for all the lil' dopamine hits.

Shoutouts to @wretchedbirdthing for being normal about that bird, you're a blast to see on my dash and I wish you luck snapping those collarbones in twain to hear those gay little squawks.

@freiflies and @ottisbuns, alongside Tapok, Vic and Honret, y'all bring life into The Bird Nest, and although I haven't really shown up much there recently, I still read most of everything, the words are cool, keep up the good work!

@genericgirl420 and @mikusays-transrights, you two are the mutuals that suffer the least with The Distances, so let's do this in a more, well, local fashion. É genuinamente bom ver que a comunidade brasileira do tumblr está ativa e saudável, aumenta minhas esperanças de encontrar outras criaturinhas desse site maligno pelas ruas, sua presença, por si só, já melhora meus ânimos, por isso, agradeço profundamente.

Ok back to speaking in simplified Old German. This next section goes out to @lemocoffe and @teacup-of-doom, both of whom I haven't really interacted much, but what little there was was quite great, this is, in fact, an invite to do more of the interact-y thing. Y'all are cool.

Another shoutout to a frequent view on my dash, @lobotomise-me-please, whose "Boobs Girl Music" post still has 10k notes to me, I'll get back to mass reblogging it someday (if y'all wanna help, check out @boobsgirlmusic for the post, that's my Boobs Girl Music sideblog where I reblog Boobs Girl Music)

@aurora-veil, @limbuscompanyyuri and @thevanishedpeople-intothenight are up next, some of my first mutuals, y'all post good. And have been doing so consistently. For the past like, 9 months or so. That's impressive.

@meltingadoration, @holyitsquiverrflynn and @jestressofnihil, my more recent moots, there hasn't been much time to do the friendship-building and knowing each other thing, but all that means is that there's still many opportunities for that, which is cool.

Last but not least, the mutuals who I haven't quite gotten to know as well, but I'm inviting to chat anytime, @readysetgargoyle, @atlasmothss, @meeresengel, @flesh-borne, @b-kut, @aureatecenotaph, @risingdragonblade, @agender-witchery (your posts helped me immensely in figuring out gender, thanks for that) and @lich-of-lcorp. Y'all are cool, we should talk more.

And one last section for all those who I've been in touch with but aren't mutuals with, for any and all reasons (I do tend to reblog very, well, erratically), y'all deserve to be on this list, but I just didn't wanna bother you too much (I do have words of thanks to say though, if you want them, just ask).

This post is still too short to express how thankful I am for y'all existing. I don't think text could ever do it justice.

[lesvegas]

hey I would like to ask u abt the pregnant men thing if tht is ok and if not pls feel free to delete. but I would like to ask abt the taking T while pregnant causing birth defects thing, wouldn’t it be possible to receive a different kind of gender affirming care tht wouldn’t harm the fetus/baby? again pls feel free to delete and if u would happen to have some links instead that would totally work bc I tried google but truly just cannot find any good information

Good question... I've never been pregnant nor do I ever intend to become pregnant, so I haven't done any extensive research, but just googling around seems to answer... some of the question. Here's what I came across while doing the briefest of searches:

FamilyEquality.org, which sites a study on FTM fertility and pregnancy, says that FTM pregnancies are more or less the same as cis womens' but that the pregnant party needs to stop taking hormones during the duration of the pregnancy because they "could cause serious harm to the developing fetus".

nhs.uk says that it's recommended for pregnant transmen to stop taking testosterone once they become pregnant because it "may effect the baby's development".

This ncbi.nlm.nih.gov article, which focuses heavily on the fact that not enough research has been done for trans reproductive health, briefly mentions that "Testosterone does have teratogenic effects in pregnancy, posing a risk of abnormal urogenital development in female fetuses".

The above article also mentions a decent portion of transmen prefer to deliver by cesarean over vaginal birth, regardless of testosterone use.

It also mentions that "the emphasis placed on individualized and holistic care under the midwifery model may be particularly appealing to TGE (Transgender and Gender Expansive people)", which is the closest I've come to finding anything on alternative gender affirming care.

Again, it also says that "there are insufficient data to assess the potential impact of testosterone use on pregnancy, delivery, and birth outcomes". The whole article emphasizes individuality and case-by-case, because overall not nearly enough research has been conducted, and a lot of what we do know on testosterone and pregnancy has been acquired from studying cis women.

This article on thebump.com talks about dealing with body dysmorphia during pregnancy, mostly for cis women but is trans-inclusive and brings up dysphoria. It's the only trans-inclusive source I've found on the subject but looking into dealing with body dysmorphia during pregnancy may help?

TL;DR there's a lot we still don't know because research is insufficient, but it's generally recommended to stop taking testosterone during pregnancy, and that there doesn't seem to be a fitting substitution for this in terms of gender-affirming treatment.

But more importantly, TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR about all of this because it is completely case-by-case.

The closest I've found to alternative gender-affirming care is midwifery as opposed to physician-led birth, but that doesn't exactly tap into dysphoria caused by bodily changes through pregnancy/stopping T intake. Testosterone treatment can resume after the pregnancy, though.

I'm neither a doctor nor a particularly great researcher, though. This is just what came up when phrasing the same searches a bit differently. Your doctor may have suggestions I'd never have thought of, especially if they've had other transmasculine patients who pursued pregnancy.

I know this isn't much, but I hope it helps at least a little bit.

[eviligo]

https://www.tumblr.com/eviligo/760761024272105472/have-you-ever-considered-taking-testosterone

i’m ngl this is also what i thought until i started taking low dose T earlier this year. i never really had any identifiable physical things i couldn’t appreciate at least sometimes it was just viscerally uncomfortable to be perceived by others and think about how they saw me (in terms of gender). when i tried to picture my ideal future self (physically or personality wise) there was just a blank space because i couldn’t conceive of continuing to live like i had been. it was just kind of a …. banal dissociative torture that i was used to. i’ve been on like the lowest dose possible for 6 months and there haven’t even been that many physical changes but i already feel like i have a future in this body, something ive been missing for my entire life. i’m really really sorry if this is like weird or pushy or tmi, but ive been following you for a while and i feel like there are a lot of things you talk about that remind me of myself and others i know pre realization. one of the big things that cracked my egg was a friend sitting me down and being like “you talk about fucking these gay boys so much you know you can ….. be the gay boy right. it kind of seems like you want to be the gay boy” and i was like woah …. yeah i kind of want to be the gay boy. again im so so so sorry if this comes across poorly and this may just be me projecting parasocially onto my idea of you and things might be kind of hectic in your life rn and a lot of people aren’t able to do basic healthcare much less hrt but. you can be the gay boy. if you really want to. i believe in you. and also you have a future and i believe in you regardless. ok sorry tumblr user eviligo i just appreciate your presence on this site and wanted to reach out and say my transgender gospel.

ok sorry for taking SO long to get to this i wanted to give you a proper response to such a thoughtful message!!

you’re not being pushy at all :) i definitely resonate with a lot of feelings you had prior to going on t, especially the thing about picturing your ideal self and seeing a blank space although for me it’s kind of like… a blurry vague silhouette. i will say that growing up in bandom i often went between “do i want to fuck this band guy, or do i want to look like him” which is probably the closest to dysmorphia i’ve ever felt, at least in the sense that i could identify and put words to it. it took me a really long time to become comfortable with my femininity because i was definitely a “tomboy” and a lot of my interests were male-dominated. then when i got older i had the revelation that femininity =/= womanhood and i don’t need to be traditionally feminine to be a woman which like, duh, but it was still really freeing! and then i got even older and started seeing all these amazing ways people express themselves and i’m like. aaahhh i wish i had the confidence and the body and the money to do that. and “you can be the gay boy” definitely strikes a chord too in a way i’ve never really thought about honestly.

all of this is to say that as i am right now i have no intention of going on t but i do have a lot to think about! and i have time to think about it, which i need to remember. it’s not out of the realm of possibility. and you are so so so sweet and kind and thank you for that last part oh my god ;_; i’m just a bizarre woman (woman adjacent?) making my way in the world i don’t deserve such nice thingsssss

[thatstormygeek]

why the fuck does Jervis from "The Stock Dork" think they need to chime in on any trans topic anywhere?

The fuck does a site that claims it "is on a mission to teach investors about the ins and outs of building real wealth by investing in stocks and other assets" have to say about being transgender?

Spoiler alert: nothing good.

This entire story is sus.

First, who the fuck is South West News Service?

Wait, what? That sounds an awful lot like a clickbait factory.

They specifically tout that their content is aimed at triggering an emotional response. So yeah - clickbait factory. Fantastic.

Which explains a lot about how this story makes no fucking sense.

This kid had weird gender feelings at the age when most kids have weird gender feelings. News at fucking 11.

Right here, she specifically admits she doesn't know what she's talking about, but that doesn't stop her from making sweeping, unsupported generalizations about a marginalized community. And it didn't stop these folks from printing them.

The timeline makes zero sense. She first thought she might be trans at 13. Her parents were "initially skeptical." And yet, by 16, she has already legally changed her name, gone on T long enough to deepen her voice and grow facial hair, and then detransitioned. In her video, she claims to have started T at 15 (instead of the 16 in the article), but she also says she had one visit with one doctor who barely talked to her before handing over a hormone prescription. Which is not remotely how it works for minors in the US. And not how it works for most adults, either.

Did she change schools? Move to another town? I mean, how did she manage to not have a single friend who knew she was trans? She'd been on T for six months and somehow fully passed as a cis guy? In high school? With bathrooms and locker rooms?

Zero mention of puberty blockers, either, so I'm guessing she started to get boobs and have periods in there somewhere.

This story is basically the Transing Your Kids urban legend note for note: There's the 'girly girl' with her 'rapid onset gender dysphoria' caused by social media 'contagion.' The 'doctors hand out hormones like candy.' The 'everyone loves trans people and hates detransitioners' theme. And the 'being trans is a trend' plus a bonus 'trans influencers are to blame.'

The only thing missing is her being a lesbian that her parents pressured to transition out of homophobia, but that point doesn't play as well with the straights.

Hang on. Her 'mum' said? But this is published on a USian site.

Wait...her parents gave a statement to The Post? Which "The Post" would this be? Ohhhh.....the New York Post. Note, the 'original' article on The Stock Dork didn't link to this one. Or the SWNS site above.

I feel for this kid. Something fucky is clearly going on here. And whatever you think about what age kids know their gender, I'm of the opinion that 16 is not old enough to consent to being part of your parents' grift. So I hope she gets free of whatever is going on here and gets therapy to work through her issues so she can grow up to have a good life. Preferably one that doesn't involve taking rights away from other folks.

The overarching point is that, again, transphobia is profitable. I didn't go looking for this article. It was highlighted on my MSN home page in Edge.

Some shitty stock tips site based in Florida published a clickbait factory piece that was plagiarized from at least one major tabloid because they believe it will bring eyes to their site. And they were right. Again, I saw this on my MSN friggin' homepage.

Fucking worst timeline.

[infernalrevenge]

A Self-Made Man (Karl Heisenberg Trans Headcanons)

(CW: mentions of gender dysphoria, misgendering, unsafe binding, and other unsafe transition practices.

Also, PSA: DO NOT try binding with bandages or duct tape. Use a proper binder that is correctly sized for you. Do not be like Karl here, who will eventually learn from his mistakes.

Anyway, enjoy!)

Figured himself out around the time he hit puberty, more specifically when he heard about what AFAB people had to go through during it.

Basically his thought process about it was "What the fuck? What the fuck?? I don't like this, I don't like where this is going, mission abort, MISSION ABORT--"

Had to deal not just with gender dysphoria but also the painful Cadou experiments Mother Miranda imposed on him. HOW FUN.

Even when he wasn't on the table being picked and prodded, when it was time to "go home" and recover, he could barely even look at himself without feeling like himself.

It was pretty much only by the time he was (physically) 15 that he had had enough. If he was going to suffer under the bird bitch, he better at least be seen the way he wanted to be.

He insisted on being referred to as a man, and wasn't afraid to correct anyone who either made a mistake or deliberately does so.

If they did it on purpose -- and he knows if they did -- then he starts yelling. Just fucking screaming. Very loudly.

If they keep trying to talk without using the right titles and pronouns, then he would yell over them. Repeatedly. Without fail.

He doesn't have full control of his magnetic powers yet so this was the best he could do. And it's not like anyone would dare to try anything physically with him, not with Miranda on "his side".

As soon as they get it right though, he's just quiet and nodding, though with a seething glare that said "Don't ever try me again, fucker."

It was very effective.

The huge baggy coat that he still frequently wears was sort of just his version of a "dysphoria hoodie". It did the job.

When he was younger, he got his hair cut short every chance he could. He thought it made him look more manly that way, and people would take him more seriously as a man with short hair.

Did a lot of dangerous things (unknowingly) while trying to medically transition on his own. It was mostly because he was too impatient to do actual research then.

Tried binding using the tough bandages the Benevientos kept around their house because he wanted his chest to be AS FLAT AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE.

Moreau and Donna had to talk him out of it when they found out, only after he kept passing out during every family meeting since he started.

Donna instead gave him a proper binder when she did her own research on trans essentials. Karl thinks it doesn't get him as flat as the bandages did but at least he could breathe now.

He still wore it for days at a time though, which was also very terrible. He was incredibly lucky that his healing factor helped him not get fucked up in the long run.

Obtained testosterone from the Duke, who for some reason didn't question it, but without proper prescriptions so he just started injecting willy-nilly all because he did some cursory research about how it can masculinize bodies.

Once again had to be talked out of by the Duke and Alcina (back when she still cared about his well-being) when the former found out about what he was doing with it.

Was forced to see a doctor close to the village lest he lose his supply of boy goo.

Isn't afraid of injecting himself when necessary. One time he tried using his powers to do it with no hands. He almost missed and didn't do it again after that.

Has a few tattoos that inconspicuously also served as marks for his injection sites.

Definitely tried performing top surgery on himself. Alcina had to wrestle the scalpel out of his hands.

Like he was READY, he had an anatomy book on one hand, he had already marked on himself what and where to cut. He looked at a mirror and thought "okay titty go bye bye"

But alas, Alcina had to ruin everything. (She didn't ruin anything, Karl would've probably given himself an infection if he tried slicing himself open.)

In a way though, he found out that his "siblings" cared about him and how he approached his transition. It was kind of sweet.

Mother Miranda cares so little about Karl that him transitioning was no big deal at all. As long as she could still use him.

(He thought it was kinda funny but also sad that she had no regard for him whatsoever that she ended up indirectly supporting him instead. It was a weird way to look at it.)

When he finally did get surgery (safely and legally), his mutation helped him heal ridiculously fast. What would've been a few weeks of recovery and months of scar healing instead lasted just under a month.

Which was great for him because he wanted to get back on his feet as soon as possible. When he was up and running just two days after surgery and could remove the drains and post-op binder, the doctor was too bewildered to even speak.

Whenever he was alone in his factory, you bet your sweet ass he's shirtless 99% of the time. Dude didn't threaten a surgeon pay for surgery not to show off his nips.

Like most things in his life, his name was actually something he never thought of during his transition.

He didn't have that big of a problem with his deadname surprisingly, and he just kind of relied on everyone referring to him by his family name. Even Miranda only ever called him Heisenberg.

Though the thought of distancing his old self from his new self was appealing. Getting people to forget who he was before and being known as someone else, as who he was now -- yeah, that sounded good. So he decided on...

Karl.

Short, simple, and a name that pretty much no one could fuck up saying. It was perfect.

He rarely ever heard it when he was called, but finding it scrawled on Miranda's notes while he was snooping around one time almost... made him smile.

(Did she care? Or did she also just think it was easier to write than his deadname? Meh, oh well. Best not to dwell on it too much.)

Doesn't care for getting bottom surgery, but does want to get a hysterectomy. The potential for periods is always going to be a bitch.

Started growing out his hair when his beard was filling out. He thinks long hair is quite high maintenance though and he doesn't want it to get in the way of his work so it never goes past his shoulders.

Loves talking just because he loves how his voice sounds.

Proud of who he is and his journey to get where he is today. He only learned the term "transgender" recently, and once he did, he thought "Hey that's me!"

If anyone tries to be even the slightest bit disrespectful to him and his gender identity...

...they're getting thrown down the cellar with Sturm.

"It was your choice to be an ass, it was my choice to see you sliced to bits. Have fun!"

[twilight-blaze]

If it’s not too much to ask, and if it is please ignore this, but… But can I ask how you figured it out? Your gender stuff I mean. I find myself in a position where I’m also questioning myself and my identity but find it… scary, I guess. It’s just been very difficult and I appreciate seeing how different people discovered themselves. Also, congrats on the two years! Here’s hoping for more positivity for you!

hi anon, it's not too much to ask at all! I know questioning your gender can be a difficult and scary process, and if talking about my journey makes it easier for someone else, I'm more than happy to do so.

though before I do I need to say that I'm not the most eloquent person, I don't have the greatest memory, and a lot of this happened around ten years ago. I'll do my best, but this may not be the greatest recollection.

(under the cut because this got long. like, really long.)

it was... I think early to mid 2011 when I first started thinking I might not be cis, though I didn't have the words for it at the time. you see, growing up, the sum of my knowledge of anything queer was that gay people existed. that's it. 17-year-old me's only definition of gender was as a synonym for sex, and words like transgender or bisexual weren't even in my vocabulary. (I later found out my parents had also never heard the word transgender before, which really explains some things.) that meant that it took a while for me to find any trans-related information, and when I did, it was from less than reliable sources.

and by that I mean that my first experience with anything remotely trans-related was being a 17-year-old who discovered trans fetish porn.

and I liked it. I liked it a lot, actually, much more than I thought a 17-year-old boy should, and I spent a lot of time watching it and just as much time wondering what the hell was wrong with me for watching and enjoying it that much.

I don't remember exactly when it happened or what led to it, but I know that after a few months of being very ashamed and confused, I somehow stumbled across an actual trans community. I'm not sure what it was, probably a forum somewhere, but that was my first exposure to trans people in regular everyday life. slowly but surely the shame from earlier started dwindling, being gradually replaced mostly by curiosity and a different type of confusion.

I spent another few months frequenting that site, just lurking, as often as I could get away with while not letting anyone know, still fully believing I was a cis boy at that point. I remember very vividly the first time I opened a "share your transition timelines" thread, and saw trans people excitedly sharing how much hormones had done for them.

if I had to pick a moment, I'd say that's when my egg first started to crack.

I started entertaining the thought of "that could be me," even if it was still accompanied by "but it's probably not." I started wondering what my life would be like as a girl. I was reading pages and pages of "how did you realize you were trans" threads, hoping that I could find the answer the easy way, that if I just found someone with an experience similar enough to mine, I'd know, or that someone would've posted a question that made it obvious enough that I wouldn't have to keep thinking about it.

at this point I was fully in "questioning my gender" territory, though I couldn't admit it. I started signing up for forums with a feminine username to see if that felt right, told people in IRC channels that I was a girl (which uh. went about as poorly as you’d expect), all while thinking I was only pretending to be a girl in the hopes of finding answers.

I was also an avid MMO player at the time, and although a good majority of my characters were girls, I had always justified that in my head as me making characters and not online personas. but in March of 2012, I had the thought "what if I tried making a character based on how I'd look if I were a girl?" and when I did, things started to fall into place in my mind.

again, if I had to pick a single moment, I'd say that was what finally, finally cracked my egg completely.

on literally the same day I made that character, I looked at her and thought "I wish that was me," though if I'm being honest, that made things more scary, because yeah, I was starting to get my answer, but now I had to worry about what that meant. now, it was hurting more and more to live as a boy, not because things were getting worse, but because I finally had hope that they could eventually be better.

I started looking into new names, and within two months I'd picked one out. (it's not the name I use today! I changed it again later, and that's totally fine!) I started thinking of myself as a girl in my own head and correcting myself whenever I slipped up, trying to change my mindset from "I want to be a girl" to "I am a girl" and that wasn't easy (it took a while before I stopped wondering if I was faking being trans). I kept reading as many accounts of other trans peoples’ experiences as often as I could, and a few months later, I told a handful of my friends, with mostly good results, and it made me more confident in the whole thing. I bought my first girl clothes around then, when one of the people I was out to took me thrift shopping, and although I wasn’t remotely ready to wear any of them in public I started dressing up whenever I had the house to myself.

things stayed about the same gender-wise for another three years, and then in June of 2015, I publicly came out, also to mostly good results, and started to socially transition. (I'm extremely lucky in that I didn't lose any friends over it. I know that's not always the case.)

after that, it was just small things for a while; mostly just figuring out piece by piece what being a girl meant to me specifically. the next major milestone after that was two years ago when I finally got on HRT after about eight years of wanting it and finally starting to medically transition.

by no means is this journey done, though—I tried out using exclusively they/them pronouns and tried on both the nonbinary and demigirl labels on and off a few times over the past few years. I changed my name again last year (I think? the pandemic has completely fucked my sense of time) because I wanted something that could be shortened to a gender-neutral form and my previous choice of name didn't have that, and not long after that I started going by that gender-neutral version almost exclusively. just this past November I came to the conclusion that I'm genderfluid—in my case, it was a realization that I don't always feel like a girl but sometimes I do, and sometimes when I do I don’t feel entirely like a girl, and honestly, it’s hard to put into words beyond that.

It's okay to not get it right the first time, though I don't think I was necessarily wrong when I thought of myself just as a trans girl for most of the past ten years. I just didn't have everything figured out yet.

and honestly, I don't think I have it all figured out now, either, and that's okay! my gender is a complicated thing, and I'm always learning more about myself. I'm not replacing my understanding of my gender, I'm constantly building on it, and I'll probably be doing that for the rest of my life.

so uh. that was a lot longer than I was expecting it to be, but I hope it's helpful.

(obligatory disclaimer that this is merely my personal experience. there’s no right or wrong way to question your gender, and there’s no wrong answer.)

I wish you the best of luck with your own journey of self-discovery, and you’re welcome to message me or send in another ask if you think you need to talk about it more!

[ailuronymy]

I doubt you'll remember this, because it happened such a long time ago, but it's been bothering me for years now and I wanted to get some closure on it. Many years ago, when I was 14, pretty new to roleplaying and completely new to Tumblr, I sent you an anonymous ask laughing about ridiculous unrealistic things that people were having their cats do in a roleplay I was in. Building blanket forts, among other things, and being transgender. At this point in my life I thought transgender only meant someone who had undergone gender affirmation surgery, and the idea of cats doing surgery on one another was hilarious to me. I shared it with the hope that other people would find it hilarious too. Instead, you told me that I had said The Wrong Thing and called me a bigot. I was confused, I was horrified, I didn't understand at all, and I more or less fled from tumblr for about two years. It was a formative experience for me.

Hello there. I do actually remember that post, although obviously since you were anon then as well, I didn’t remember you specifically. But I do remember. 

I thought about how to answer this ask for a few days. I’m not sure exactly what it is you’re looking for from me, but I’m going to give you the best reply I can and I hope that’s good enough for the both of us. 

When you wrote in to me, about eight years ago, I was younger than you are now. I was nineteen and I’d only been on tumblr for a bit over a year at that point, I think. I’d never had social media before, of any kind. It was all pretty new to me as an experience too, and I’d never expected this blog to get the attention that it did. I never even imagined that was a possibility. But it happened and I learned how to run a relatively popular ask blog on the job, as it were. 

There’s a lot I regret when I look back on that early era of this blog. The humour and jokes I allowed and sometimes encouraged and said myself here was often not kind, and that’s something I really regret. Eventually, I put an end to that because it just wasn’t the kind of thing I wanted any of us who have fun here to be doing. But I absolutely allowed it to happen for a long time first, and that’s on me. 

Also at that same time, there was a particular way of interacting on tumblr that was very popular. It was a lot of exuberance and hyperbole and insults, and being rude for fun, and overall very over-the-top and often harsh or just plain uncaring that there was someone else at the other end of the message. For everyone who was here in 2012, I think you can probably remember what it was like. It wasn’t a nice mode of communication, but it was popular and got great responses and a lot of people found it fun to read. For a couple of years after I started Ailuronymy, I was absolutely guilty of buying into it and acting this way, until I finally hated it enough to stop. It wasn’t who I wanted to be, in general or on this blog specifically. It felt mean and inauthentic and I wanted to be better. But I did act like that for a long time, and that was a choice I made. 

I’m not saying any of this because I want to make excuses for myself. I’m more aware than anyone else of the problems early on in this blog’s history, and it’s something I regret and wish I could go back to do differently with the knowledge and experience I have now. Unfortunately, I can’t change the past. I can only own up to it and do better going forward. 

I’m sorry for the tone I often used, including to you in that post, and I’m sorry that because of that behaviour, you felt scared and unwelcome here. That’s a failure on my part. I shouldn’t have used the tone I did, or assumed I had to take a defensive, intense stance the way I did. It’s very sad to me to know that because I did that, you were frightened and decided to leave. 

However, I would like to share my context too. Because at the time, I was nineteen years old (which I know probably sounds ancient to younger teens, but it’s not, really), and a bisexual guy (which I still am, obviously), and Ailuronymy was already a place that people (especially queer people) in the fandom were looking to for support and education. Insofar as this blog was developing a niche, that was it. I felt a significant amount of responsibility to champion and defend the people this blog was made for. 

2012 was also a time when the Warriors fandom on tumblr was genuinely very homophobic, and also quite volatile. It was common for people to be very angry (in general, and often at me) for saying that ableism isn’t okay, or that Warriors characters can be trans, or sometimes just “canon naming doesn’t make much sense.” I got quite a lot of hate mail--also sometimes just... confused, angry mail, for this naming system or any of the political things I talked about--and I was doing the best I could with what I had to give. A lot of what I learned during my years of running this blog came from making mistakes, but I always did my best.

The reason I’m bringing this up is because what you actually said was: “these cats can be homosexual, asexual, bisexual, pansexual, and transgender--don’t even ask me how that’s possible. I don’t want to know.” You came to me, a queer man, running a blog that in no small part is about how queerness is allowed to exist in this fandom and is in fact not implausible, during a time when the fandom as a whole was solidly anti-queer, with something like that. Like you said, you shared it with me--and the readers here--because you hoped we would find it hilarious and unrealistic too. 

But I didn’t, because, to me, that’s just what a lot of the fandom already was. It was a hostile environment that regularly argued that queer characters, or people, had no place here. That was the kind of things people on anon fairly often came to yell in my inbox about how I’m wrong, etc. etc., and how I’m bad, etc. etc. 

I reacted defensively, which I wouldn’t do now, because I’m much older, and I have experience and confidence I just didn’t then. At the time, though, what I heard in your ask was “queer characters are absurd and don’t belong here, don’t correct me,” and that is what I reacted to. I’m sure for you, it felt scary and disproportionate, and as I said before, I wish I had handled things differently, and gentler. 

But I don’t disagree with what I said. The points I made weren’t wrong. And my response--although not how I would respond now--was not wrong, even though it hurt you. It genuinely is horrible to know that because of my lack of tact, you were scared. It was also horrible to receive your ask at the time, just like many of the rest. It wasn’t hypothetical to me, because I’m queer. It was about me, and other people I care about very much.

The fact I’m queer is probably news to you, and you were new tumblr and probably didn’t know what was going on in the fandom, and maybe you would have said something different if you knew all this. 

Likewise, though, you were on anon and I didn’t know who you were. I didn’t know you were fourteen. I didn’t know you were asking in good faith, and not just another one of the homophobic fans thinking you’d found a friend in me, which frankly felt a bit insulting. I didn’t know you were and, again, although I wish I did more back then and was kinder in my approach, I didn’t have insight into your intentions. I also didn’t have the maturity for that not to matter.

That said, even in my very imperfect answer I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt. I specifically said:

“Before you think I’m victimising you - I’m not. This is not personal right now; currently, this is a mistake on your part, and I understand that mistakes are incredibly easy to make. If, by the end of my post, you get where you went wrong here, then it will be like this ask of yours never happened and I will forget you ever said it. I don’t like to hold any kind of grudge if there’s any way to avoid it, and an acknowledgement of where you went wrong here would completely fix everything about this.”

&

“So what you’re saying when you say that you don’t believe that “homosexual, asexual, bisexual, pansexual, and transgender” cats are possible in the context of Warriors is, basically, that you’re a bigot. I am really sorry to say that, because the chances are - I sincerely hope - that you aren’t. You’re a good person. You’re a good person who said something bigoted by mistake. And if you don’t believe what you’ve said is a mistake yet, let me show you some interesting true facts about our world.“

Because I know how easy it is to make mistakes and how hard it is to get everything right all the time, and know everything, and never do something dumb or hurtful. It’s easy to fuck up. I’ve done it a lot. The answer I gave you back then is just one example.

That what you took from my answer was only fear and confusion isn’t something in my control, however. I hate that that’s what happened, and I regret not being who I am now back then, but even though I did fuck up back then, I still did what I could at the time to mitigate the damage and reassure you that a mistake doesn’t define you. I am sorry it wasn’t enough for you to feel okay coming back. But I can’t say I’m sorry for telling you that coming to me on my blog with that kind of mentality is something I’ll tolerate at all. 

Ultimately, I’m sorry that our experience of each other was not a good one. I’m sorry that your memory of me is someone scary and mean, and that you felt you had to leave this site entirely for two years because of it. I regret that my actions left you with such a negative experience, because that was never my intention, even though the way I handled things with you was very poor. 

I hope you’re able to find the closure you’re looking for and I genuinely wish you all the best. 

[gaalee-events]

What is GaaLee Hallo-week? How does it work?

GaaLee Hallo-week is basically a Halloween-themed ship week for the pairing Gaara/Rock Lee. Each day from Oct. 24 - 30th, there will be different prompts to fill. There are (at least!) two prompts per day: a spooky prompt and a sweet prompt, riffing off the idea of trick-or-treat. There is no sign-up and no obligation. Creations for this event can be fanfic, fanart, playlists, icon sets, panel edits, moodboards, memes, closet cosplay, or any other fannish pursuit you can think of! As long as it features the GaaLee pairing and fits a prompt, it counts!

Sounds great! How do I participate?

There’s no sign-up for this event, and it’s open to everyone. On the appropriate day, simply post your creation on Tumblr, indicate which prompt you’re filling, and tag the @gaalee-events blog! You can also use the hashtag #gaaleehalloweek, but be sure to tag the blog as well to ensure your creation doesn’t get lost. The GaaLee events Tumblr will then reblog your work for all to see! If you don’t have a Tumblr or would prefer to participate only on Ao3, that’s also fine. When you’re uploading your work, you can add it to the GaaLee Hallo-week Collection by typing ‘GaaLee_HalloWeek’ (without quotes) into the ‘Collections’ box. For people who choose to participate just on Ao3, the organizers will create a link post on Tumblr with a link to your fic. If it’s been 24 hours since you posted and you haven’t seen your contribution reblogged, please send an ask to @ghoste-catte, as it may have gotten lost in notifications.

So, what are these prompts you’re talking about?

Each day has a scary prompt and a sweet prompt associated with it! For a handy rebloggable visual guide, check out the prompts page!

Day 1, Oct. 24 - Haunted House -or- Hallowed Ground

Day 2, Oct. 25 - Demons -or- Deities

Day 3, Oct. 26 - Nightmares -or- Sweet Dreams

Day 4, Oct 27 - Fear -or- Wonder

Day 5, Oct 28 - Movie Night! (The Amityville Horror -or- The Addams Family)

Day 6, Oct 29 - Scary Stories (“I do not love men. I love what devours them.” - Prometheus Illbound, Andre Gill -or- “People don’t want to see what can’t possibly exist.” - Mort, Terry Pratchett)

Day 7, Oct 30 - Trick-or-Treat (free day!)

How do the Movie Night / Scary Stories / Free Day prompts work?

In the second half of the week, let your imagination run wild! You can be inspired by the suggested movies, images, or quotes, or you can create something for the overall theme of “Movie Night” or “Scary Stories”. For the final day of the event, you can create whatever your heart desires, as long as it’s scary or sweet, and GaaLee-themed! As with the previous days, you can also use “Trick-or-Treat” as your prompt and create something based on that.

What are the minimum requirements for a prompt fill?

This is left open to the individual participant’s discretion. If you feel that what you created meets the prompt, then it counts! A single creation can only count for one day, but it may be inspired by one or both prompts on that day. (For example, you could create something for October 25th to fit the prompt “Demons”, or “Demons and Deities”, but not “Demons” and “Nightmares”.) You can create multiple creations for a single prompt or a single day. If you make something that has multiple components, like a multichapter fic or a multipage comic, each chapter/comic page/etc. can be counted towards a different day/prompt, as long as they’re posted on the correct day and fit one of the prompts for that day.

Do I have to participate in all seven days? Do I have to fill every prompt?

Not at all! You can fill just one prompt on just one day, you can fill multiple prompts across multiple days, or you can fill all the prompts on all seven days. Think of this event like that bowl of candy on your neighbor’s porch that’s labeled ‘Take One’ -- you can do whatever you like with it; nobody’s going to stop you. That being said, if you do create something for all seven days, you’ll be in the Monster’s Ball, which sounds very cool but really just means that your creations will be listed at the top of the event wrap-up summary in a fancy text box.

Does everything I make have to be Halloween-themed?

Nope! While we’ll all be getting in the mood for Halloween, ghosts, ghouls, and pumpkins don’t need to feature in your creation. As long as you feel like your creation fits one of the prompts, it counts. That being said, we’d love to see the fandom flex their horror muscles and go full Spooky Season on us. Bring on the blood and guts!

I have something I’m already working on that fits one of the prompts, can I use it for this event?

Yes, with a couple of caveats! The creation must be new and posted on the date of the prompt that it was created for. If you already have a partially published project and something new you’ve created for it fits one of the prompts, that can absolutely count. For example, if you’re writing a 20-page comic about a haunted house, and you post a new page on Oct. 24th, you can count that for the prompt “Haunted House”. If you say you created something with this event in mind, we’ll take your word for it. The only other restriction is that if you’re creating your project for a different event (such as an exchange, ship week, theme week, big bang, etc.) and it also happens to meet one of the GaaLee Hallo-week prompts, you should check the other event’s rules to ensure they don’t have any restrictions on counting a single work towards multiple events.

Are there restrictions about what kinds of content can be created for this event?

Because of the Halloween theme, it’s to be expected that some works might be transgressive, upsetting, or triggering. However, we want this event to be enjoyable for as many people as possible! We ask that you use caution and consideration in your creations and be mindful of the ways that traditionally ‘scary’ tropes have been used to harm marginalized groups. Tag judiciously and use your best judgment. Be wary of ableism, such as using a person’s mental illness or physical disability as a scare factor or to make them seem more monstrous or mysterious. This does not mean you can’t create works with or about disabled or neurodivergent characters, simply be mindful of how those characteristics are portrayed and the role they serve in your work. Avoid transphobia, such as portraying a male character in a woman’s costume for laughs or using a character’s trans identity to make them seem villainous. (Lookin’ at you, Buffalo Bill.) This doesn’t mean your characters can’t explore gender roles! But it’s important to be thoughtful and intentional about how you portray transgender characters in a horror setting. Also, please be aware that the word ‘spook’ is an anti-black slur, and should be avoided in the creation of your works. (‘Spooky’, the adjective, is fine.) This is not a comprehensive or exhaustive list, and your judgment as an individual creator is important! If you have concerns about something you’re making, you’re more than welcome to message either of the organizers (@ghoste-catte or @puregaalee) for feedback. The organizers reserve the right not to reblog or republish work that is not appropriately tagged or that may not fit the spirit of the event.

What about sexually explicit (NSFW) content, is that allowed?

NSFW content is more than welcome, with some guardrails. NSFW content posted on Tumblr should be appropriately tagged and behind a ‘Read More’ cut. Any NSFW content hosted off-site should likewise be clearly labeled. If you choose to create NSFW images, be aware of Tumblr’s content guidelines. You may want to consider posting a cropped or censored image on Tumblr and linking to another site (Twitter, Privatter, Pixiv, Imgur, etc.) for the full image. Individuals under the age of 18 may not create sexually explicit material for this event.

I’m so excited, I just can’t wait! Can I post my creations early?

Please wait until the assigned day to post your creations for that prompt. Creations will not be reblogged until the assigned day for the prompt that inspired them.

Eek, I’m running behind! What if I created something for a specific day, but I didn’t get it posted in time?

Late postings will be accepted throughout the week, so if you created something for October 25th’s prompt but didn’t get it uploaded until October 28th, that will still be reblogged. The two weeks following the event will be reserved for ‘late posting’, during which time you can still upload your creations and tag the blog to have them reblogged. An event wrap-up will be posted after the end of the late posting period.

There’s an awful lot of words on this page, but none of them answer my question!

Please send an ask to @gaalee-events and we’ll get it answered as soon as possible!

[markedforruin]

The Forest Lawn Mill Mystery Prologue

So here’s a small thing I wrote with Jeffery Mason and Sage Wilkinson. Will it be continued? most likely. When? who knows lol 

Reminder that Jeffery Mason as a character is solely owned by David Near, and I am in no way affiliated with him and this is just a fanwork. Nothing crazy. Go listen to his audios on youtube if you haven’t!

Story here:

It hadn’t been more than a few days since Sage had begun talking to the new kid at school.

He was kind of weird. 

He had albinism but dyed his hair black, as if he didn’t stand out enough as is. Apparently he thought black hair combined with his extremely pale face would help him blend in, but he was already hanging out with the class goth so… Sage doubted that. 

Maybe “hanging out” was an overstatement. They had been assigned a group project, and they talked a lot, but they hadn’t hung out outside of school hours. Maybe if they did, Sage would get to know Jeff better, and they could stop complaining about math class and talk about things they liked. 

“So uh… Are you doing anything after classes?” Sage was so bad at making friends, but they had to try. Jeff seemed like a cool person after all. 

“Why?” Jeff’s almost monotone voice broke through the silent school library. 

“Because I was thinking maybe you’d wanna hang out more? We can come over to my place… You could meet Beetle?”

Jeff gave his classmate a sideways glare. “You got a pet beetle or something?”

“No! No, it's a horse! He’s a horse. His name is Beetle.”

Jeff chuckled a little, covering his mouth with a fist. “That’s the weirdest horse name I’ve heard of.” He admitted. 

“But it’s not the worst! My parents own a riding school so we live on a huge farm property, and trust me, some folks have horses stabled there with even worse names.” Sage laughed, finding his phone to look up the site his parents had made. 

“Here, look-” He shoved the phone in Jeff’s face, leaning all into him.

“What the fuck- Post Stallione? Like Post Malone?”

“yeah. He’s a fine horse but his name is…”

“That’s so fucking cringe, Sage.”

“I know!”

They had a small laugh, but fell silent again quickly.

“So… Is that a yes, or?”

Jeff sighed audibly and loudly.

“I don’t know.” Was his reply. Sage thought he wasn’t going to say more, but he released a breath and opened his mouth again.

“We’re still missing some furniture at my house, and I don’t think my dad would like you, so… Fine. Fine. I need a fucking break from that house anyways…” He mumbled that last part.

“Is your dad homophobic?” Sage tapped their pencil on the paper. The numbers were swimming around on the page, and they’d resorted to doodling their horse instead of doing math. 

“Honestly I think he’s just ignorant, but he’s real fucking annoying about it. Barely knows what a transgender person is, let alone someone like you.”

Sage turned to look at Jeff, and the boy looked back.

“Because I’m nonbinary?”

“yeah.”

Sage huffed mockingly. “When I meet him-”

“IF.”

“WHEN I meet him, I’ll look him in the eye and say “Nice to meet you ma’am, you must be the housewife! you’ve birthed a fine young son, i am glad to be his friend.””

That had Jeff laughing, and Sage joined in. 

“I’m not opposed to mocking my dad, that’s for sure!”

“And I’m not above kicking down the ego of dads like yours.” Sage bowed dramatically. 

“Alright, alright, I’ll come home with you, then. You’re fucking hilarious, Sage.”

Sage clicked their tongue. “Thank you, I know I gave a stellar performance.”

Fastest way out of Forest Lawn was the school bus, which meant they were surrounded by lots of noisy teenagers.

Both of them wore their earbuds to drown it all out. Sage leaned over to look at Jeff’s phone. 

The boy leaned away clearly not wanting to share his screen.

“What are you listening to?” 

“Nothing you’d like.”

“Try me.”

Jeff offered an earbud in silence. 

What came out the other end was… Oh hey! Emperor!

“Oh symphonic black metal… Good taste dude.”

Jeff looked back at Sage with almost googly eyes.

“That’s new.”

“What, somebody liking the same music as you? Dude I listen to metal too, look at me!”

“I’ve been looking at you since we were assigned that group project, Sage.”

“So?” Sage snatched Jeff’s phone to add some music to his playlist.

Jeff shrugged, and let Sage take over his phone on his watch. 

Their stop was the very last, and as they hopped out, the only things around them were trees and gravel paths.

“It’s not far from here, just gotta go up this way.”

Jeff followed along silently, not protesting. 

“What do you think about Forest Lawn so far?” Sage looked back at Jeff. 

“You want an honest answer?”

“Yeah, I live right outside the town, I don’t care what you think of it.”

“It’s fucking horrible, honestly. I hate this town.”

Sage nodded thoughtfully.

They made it to the main driveway, and the Wilkinson’s riding school property slowly came to light.

“People say the town is cursed, y’know.” Sage unlocked the main door and waltzed inside.

“I’m not superstitious. Also where’s your parents?”

It was a bit too quiet in the house. 

“They’re working until 8 pm, and also they’re both very superstitious so they’ve told me a lot of stuff about the town.”

Sage led Jeff upstairs to their room and threw the school bag they’d carried on the floor next to his desk.

They motioned for Jeff to sit on the bed. It was pretty big, so Sage joined him. 

“Ok, spit it out, tell me.” Jeff seemed pretty eager to know about all this. 

Sage cracked his knuckles. “Let’s go, then.”

They both got comfortable, and then Sage began.

“People talk about Teenagers and young adults being brainwashed by radio static, and children keep reporting this “man in the woods”, also there’s rumors floating around about the abandoned Mill close to here… It’s complicated. Around 30 years ago Forest Lawn saw the biggest disappearance of children ever over the summer. None of them were found, until 5 years ago, when one single naked woman was found passed out on the highway with her leg torn open. Her DNA showed that she was literally one of the children that had gone missing.”

Jeff intently listened, not a noise escaping him as Sage told their story. 

“She’s still in psychiatric care at Pinehearst State hospital. Last update the public got from her was that she was adamant about some “tall man” that took care of everyone, which is the exact same thing children are saying today too.”

Sage paused for a moment.

“The Mill, though? man that’s a crazy story. It’s locked up and apparently age old paint on it from like… the 1800’s that says “plague, stay out” was painted on. It’s kind of close to here but I’ve never visited because you can’t get there by car, and going on horseback is at least a whole day’s trip.”

“I wanna see that mill, are you serious!?” Jeff was officially invested.

“What if there are dead bodies in there or something, dude? no way!”

“Uh, yes way, you didn’t strike me as a coward.”

“Group pressure doesn’t work on me Jeff.”

“Group pr- we’re two people, man.”

Sage crossed his arms. “I bet you don’t even know how to ride a horse.”

Jeff shot back at him. “Fine, then teach me.”

[spnopineapples]

ALRIGHT PEOPLE. I'm READY.

LAST OF US 2 SPOILERS!!!!

......

.......

Are ya gone yet? Have you scrolled past if you don't want to see?

....

Alright. *CRACKS KNUCKLES AND NECK* Let's jump on into this!

First off I'm done with the game.

Second off..... THIS GAME WAS FUCKING PHENOMENAL!!! 10/10

The ending litterally killed me. Finished 2 hours ago,talked the ear off of my best friend for about 1 and a half hours and gushed and lamented the whole time. Cried for about 20 minutes by myself. Had an existential crisis. So on so on. And now I'm here, in the middle of an online meeting cause, ya know, Corona, muted with no camera on, because I'd much rather be typing out this dissertation.

Y'ALL. Go play this. It is AWESOME.

Now for the third and probably longest bit of this. My rebuttal to the bad reviewers:

I still contend that the bad reviews are 1 of 2 reasons with a little of a 3rd mixed in to both. #1. Being that people are pissed they killed off Joel and think the story did a disservice to the characters. #2. People are pissed because they think Naughty Dog was pushing a liberal agenda with a heavily muscled female antagonist/protagonist, a gay Ellie, and a transgender side character, Lev. The mixed in #3 is the extensive violence which I do contend was a lot. Yeah LoU1 was definitely violent, but damned this one got dark. And that's something coming from me because I am a fan of gratuitous violence.

Let me tackle these real quick. I'll be brief about #2 here though.

IN REBUTTAL TO REASON #2 - If you honestly didn't like LoU2 because of this reason (which I explained in my previous post about how IT IS logical that Abby be built the way she is and how Naughty Dog was definitely NOT shoving this or ANY of the others i mentioned in anyone's face in my opinion) you're in need of some corrective thinking and you should re-evaluate your ideas and realize that your opinion on these social issues doesn't matter and is wrong. None of these things make the game story illogical or bad. Bottom line: there are people like this in the world and their stories in this game drive the plot. It doesn't belittle the previous games or detract from the current game at all. You're just bigoted. Calm your tits and don't play the game if it upsets you so much. Pull a Seth and bury the hatchet. Make some steak sandwiches.

But I'm going to give the benefit of the doubt and imagine that the majority of the bad reviewers were more pissed at reason #1, Joel's Death. But real quick.

IN REBUTTAL OF REASON #3 -If you hated the game because of the amount of violence, do realize that the violence was the point of the story this time AND IT WAS SUPPOSE TO BE A DRAG ON YOUR SOUL. LoU1 was about finding love again in a violent world. Love being in the foreground and the violence a backdrop, which is why the violence didn't feel so in your face even though it was PLENTY violent. LoU2 was about succumbing to the violent world because of losing love. Violence being the foreground and tainted love (insert song here ya bastards) being the backdrop that drives it. AND HERE IS MY FAVORITE PART PLEASE READ THIS PART AT LEAST IF YOU DECIDE NOT TO READ THE WHOLE THING.

Think of the two endings. LoU1 WAS a story ABOUT finding love in a violent world BUT ENDED with Joel committing a violent act to protect his love (killing all the Fireflies, 1 of which was Abby's father and the driving reason for LoU2's main plot, and DOOMING THE WORLD TO INFECTION AND DAMNING HUMANITY). LoU2 WAS a story ABOUT losing love and reacting with violence BUT ENDED with Ellie doing a peaceful act (allowing Abby to leave alive with Lev) because of the love she had for Joel (that flashback scene of Joel playing guitar when Ellie decided to forgive him for the violence and lie at the end of LoU1).

DO Y'ALL SEE HOW IMPORTANT THAT IS?

There NEEDED to be a LoU2 because LoU1 ended with violence and a lie. LoU2 fulfilled this with an ending of forgiveness driven by a memory of love from the first game.

I've read a lot of the bad reviews where they mention the violence became too much and ruined the game. And that Ellie wouldn't act like that. First off Ellie totally would, fuck off with that noise. Second off THAT'S THE POINT. This was a story about how revenge is cyclic violence and it doesn't end until someone makes the decision to end it!

BOTTOM LINE: I felt ragged 2/3's of the way thru this game because of the violence, but that's the point of the story. Revenge is not worth it. Especially when it's with people like Abby and Ellie. Because neither are villians. AND BOY HOWDY DID IT TAKE ME A LONG TIME TO COME TO TERMS WITH THIS. Because I HATED ABBY FOR KILLING JOEL. When I first started playing her I DID NOT WANT TO BECAUSE I WAS ANGRY WITH HER. I litterraly felt dirty playing her. But this game did something amazing to get me around to appreciating her character. NOT LIKING HER CHARACTER, but appreciating. And I will tackle this in my next rebuttal.

IN REBUTTAL OF REASON # 1 - Let's talk about Joel's death.

I WILL NOT LIE TO YALL.

I was mightily upset about his death. At first I thought it to be a disservice to a beloved character. But then I realized something. See above about Joel's actions. He killed all those Fireflies and DAMNED THE WORLD. Not only that it is specifically mentioned in both LoU1 and in this game that Joel and Tommy did horrible things before they met Ellie and before Jackson. JOEL WAS NOT A GOOD GUY.

I think what people are upset about is the REALNESS of this game. A lot of other game developers don't do what Naughty Dog has done. Naughty Dog did not shy away from Joel's character flaws and his past wrongs! In fact, all the user's that use the reason for hating the game as "too many plotholes" Y'ALL FUCKING PLAYIN. More on that later.

Back to what I was saying about realness. In the real world, Joel's death and the brutality of it and suddenness of it is actually a very logical event that would occur. Abby doesn't KNOW Joel like we do. All she knows is this guy killed her father and a lot of her friends and damned humanity in the process. LoU1 is not a happy game. Might I remind yall about Sam and Henry? But his death was not "sudden". And it didn't steal Joel from us. I actually really enjoyed all the flashbacks to him. We got more than enough time and I actually feel as if the time we got with Joel was better because of his death so early in the game. DO NOT TELL ME THAT THAT NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM FLASHBACK DIDN'T FULFILL EVERY FEELING NEED.

And now for the wrap up - the big hangup that I see of those who hated Joel's Death is that the story didn't redeem it. They couldn't "buy" Ellie forgiving Abby at the end.

As I stated I will not lie. I was worried for about 2/3s of the way through this game that the bad user reviews were accurate and that the story sucked because I couldn't see where the writers were going. All I saw was senseless death of characters that I had loved and that I was coming to love. I straight up love Jesse by the way. It wasn't until Abby met Lev and Yara that I started seeing the majesty of this revenge story.

BECAUSE THE TRUTH IS I HATE FUCKING REVENGE STORIES WHERE THE MAIN CHARACTER IS LIKE, NO, THEY WOULDN'T WANT ME TO DO THIS. Before this game I'd be like "miss me with that bullshit" but after today I would say "give it to me like this." This actually felt real. And boy was it raw. Guys, the reason I started forgiving Abby is because of her decision to help Yara and Lev. Because it was her attempt to right the wrong of killing Joel which was eating her alive. Her and Owen and Mel. Guys. She is Joel. Why the hell do you think Joel did what he did for Ellie in the first game? Because he liked her at first site? BULLSHIT. He did it because Tess told him to do something good for once. IF YOU ARE UPSET WITH ABBY THEN YOU SHOULD BE UPSET WITH JOEL. I get it. Abby had to earn that with her story because at the beginning I'd have said leave her to the clickers. BUT CONTRARY TO THE USERS OF THIS REASONING SHE DID DESERVE HER REDEMPTION. The game shows over and over and over again that Abby isn't some mustache twirling villian who deserves instant death. She is complicated. She cares and she hates and she loves. She knows what's right and wrong and tries to do right as much as possible but she's human and she gets angry. Anger means you care.. and she cared about her father. She's a good human too because good humans feel shitty about doing shitty things and if you are observant at all you can tell immediately with Abby, as we play her in her Seattle Day 1, that she has doubts and isn't comfortable with her role in how Joel died. SHE DESERVED BEING FORGIVING BY ELLIE AT THE END. AND IN THE SAME TOKEN ELLIE DESERVED FORGIVING HER AND BEING FORGIVEN BY ABBY. It is very clearly obvious by the end of the game that Ellie could not reconcile her revenge killings with her best memories of Joel or with the actions she had to take to get there. Also it is of very important note here that Ellie stopped drowning Abby because of a flash image of Joel playing guitar. And then later on actually seeing the memory associated with that image that stopped her you can understand why Ellie did stop outside of just being as tired of violence as Abby was. The memory shows Joel and Ellie agreeing to try to forgive Joel for lying to her about the Fireflies and denying her her purpose. All this the night before he is killed. Note what Joel says. "If God gave me the chance to do it all over again. I would have done the same thing." Just that fucking devotion he has for Ellie shines through and she really understands his reasons for what he did. Still doesn't feel as if she can forgive him. THAT IS IMPORTANT. She DOES NOT agree with his decision. She understands it, but doesn't agree. But still decides to try and forgive. GUYS. That's exactly what she understands about Abby. Joel was sorry but he still would have done it. Same with Abby. There's a reason that image popped up as she was killing Abby and not the image of his beaten up face.

Remember that line from LoU2? Tess said it. As she is confessing to Joel that she was bit. "We're shitty people, Joel. It's been that way for a long time!" And Joel says "No, we are survivors!"

Y'all don't think for one second that Joel wouldn't have gone after that Soldier who shot Sarah if Tommy hadn't shot him? Y'all kidding yourselves.

Abby realizes this truth in the end. She realizes the part she played in enhancing and playing into the fucking violence and shittiness. Staining and tainting herself in the process. She just wanted to be clean. And Ellie just wanted to be clean.

Bombing this game is doing a fucking disservice to the emotional complexity of this story. It's been a long time since I've been that emotionally twisted.

This game isn't preachy. This game makes something clear that alot of other revenge stories get wrong. Revenge makes otherwise good people do shitty things and the shitty things taint us for the rest of our lives. At least Ellie and Abby stopped themselves before they tainted all their being.

Yeah we're shitty people. But we don't have to be.

[rotationalsymmetry]

Reading through a argument around “is queer a self defined thing or is it something where you have to check off at least one specific named identity and tell people what that is thing?” And there’s a 17 year old who expressed concerns about the idea of queer being a self identifier thing getting his ass handed to him. Which, I have to say, my initial reaction (safely saved to drafts) also involved a lot of swear words, and not colorful background swearwords either.

Fuck off. My initial reaction was to tell him to fuck off. And that, never mind about hypothetical straight fakers, I didn’t want him at my queer events.

But...I can understand, being young, probably being new to the community, possibly not having any offline community at all, how someone might find themselves arguing that position.

I mean, we got a lot of gatekeeping of various types on this site and in online queer spaces in general. It’s a thing someone could pick up without really questioning it, just because other queer people are saying it. And, you’re new, you’re unsure of yourself, you want to fit in. I can see it.

So, the kind gentle explanation, for anyone who needs less fuck off and more patiently explaining. (If I get replies/asks about this I’ll attempt to continue with the patient version.)

The acronym isn’t fixed. It’s fluid, and the categories within it are fluid.

For example: Marsha P Johnson in her life didn’t call herself a transgender woman. She called herself a transvestite and a gay man, even though she used she/her pronouns. Now, we look back on that and think “well, the language changed over time, someone who lived the way she did would almost certainly call herself a trans woman now, and the modern queers who identify with her most tend to be trans women.” Categories are fluid, in that now we’re inclined to see “trans woman, cross dresser, gay man” as entirely separate categories that aren’t especially related to each other (and het crossdressers might not be seen as queer at all) but they used to have much more overlap.

As another example, “non-binary” wasn’t really a thing when I hit adulthood. There were people who would now call themselves nonbinary, but they used different terms, like genderqueer. Stone Butch Blues talks about “he-she’s”, a term that straddled “butch lesbian” and the modern “transmasculine”, and which definitely isn’t in common use any more.

And that’s just in recent American history! If you look at how queerness is conceptualized across time and across cultures, it varies so much. Some cultures have more than two genders that are universally recognized within that culture. Some times/cultures see homosexuality as being dependent on whether you’re topping or bottoming or about gender roles: a guy who bottoms or takes on feminine gender roles is gay, while one who tops is just a normal straight guy. Sometimes a culture has fairly set gender roles, but people who are biologically male or female taking on the opposite role and having a same-sex partner is completely normal and unremarkable.

The alternative to “a queer person is someone who says they are queer” is to have a fixed definition. You are queer if you check at least one: gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, (asexual, intersex, two spirit, whatever else we want to explicitly include on the list.) But that would require “queer” to have a fixed definition and for all the sub-types of queer to be fixed.

What about when people don’t know for sure: a woman who knows she’s lesbian or bisexual but not which, a person who might be trans but isn’t quite sure, someone who might be asexual but again isn’t quite sure, but perhaps is quite sure they don’t feel comfortable when straight people talk about sex and romance. (And then there’s what happens when you’ve always thought of yourself as gay, but your partner is transitioning so what does that make you?) Hanging out in queer spaces with people who are queer makes sense for all of those people, even ones who might eventually decide they’re not actually queer after all.

And I’ve been writing paragraphs and paragraphs, but I think I missed the main point, which is: the alternative to “queer is self-defined” is “someone else gets to tell you whether you’re queer or not.” Which gives strangers permission to ask all sorts of invasive questions. (Especially if the given reason for defining queer is to keep people who aren’t queer out of queer spaces! That can only happen if you actually ask people coming into a space what they are!) There’s no way to define queer other than “someone who says they’re queer” or “someone who thinks they fit in with other queer people” that doesn’t open the door to those sorts of challenges.

And, in turn, to gatekeeping out people who might not be “queer enough” (ie, close enough to exclusively gay or lesbian) — in practice, trying to define queer leads to defining queer in a way that excludes aces or some trans people or all trans people or bi/pan people with opposite sex partners, or all of the above.

(Not entirely happy with how I’m using the term “sex” here, because I get “biological sex” can be a complex and very loaded concept for many trans people. If someone sees something they’re uncomfortable with and can suggest a better alt phrasing let me know.)

So, people tend to react to “queer shouldn’t be self-defined” in exactly the same way they’d respond to ace exclusionism or terf talk. Because...in practice, insisting queer has to have a fixed definition (or telling people to not use the word) tends to be round one of a game that ends with exactly those things. Even if you personally didn’t mean it that way, the rest of us don’t know that. We react to it like anti-racist activists respond to “All Lives Matter” — maybe it could be innocuous confusion, but it comes from a place of malice often enough that people do tend to assume malice.

Because the idea of fakers who are really straight infiltrating the community...that’s a terf idea and an exclusionist idea, and it doesn’t really fit with any robust and self-consistent understanding of queerness other than those ideologies.

[moonbearmeliox]

X-Men Series Film Review

Welcome back to “Bren rambles about a movie/tv series.” So I just spent the past three days watching the main X-Men movies and while watching I wrote down my thoughts and what came to mind when watching the movies. Spoiler Warning(duh) for the X-Men movies. Also trigger warning because I do talk about homophobia and conversion camps.

X-Men

As the woman is talking about how mutants can be scared to revel themselve because they could be met with hostility and violence, I find this as a parellel to gay marriage and how LGBTQ+ are scared to come out because they won’t be accepted. Mutants are scared to say they’re mutants of fear of being put to death; LGBTQ+ people are scared to come out in fear of being met with violence or judgement(some places you can be put to death for being gay.

“We should decide if parents want their kids to be in school with mutants.” Sounds the same as “Do you want your child to go to the same school as a gay person? Do you want to be in the bathroom with a girl who has a dick?(in the context of conservatives who don’t want transgender people to use the bathrooms they identify with because “their genitals don’t match)”

Speaking of gay: Eric and Charles

Wolverine got anger issues

Wolverine adopting a young girl with mutant powers, how many times is this going to happen? At least twice.

Rouge really got the shortest end of the stick with the mutant gene.

Give Rouge a male love interest that will inevitably die by her hand, that’s what I’m assuming.

Jean Gray is going to be Wolverine’s love interest, calling it now

Mystique’s costume always bugs me because she’s essentially naked. Like, the directors were like “She must wear no clothes.” “That’s not practical-” “Men will eat it up. The sex appeal, yes. Because women can never have practical costume design.”

Scott looks like he’s played by the main dude in the Sonic Movie(I was right!)

Can Magneto bend the iron in people’s bodies?

“You never use your power against another mutant.” How long is that going to last?

Dad Logan is the best Logan.

The Train Splitting scene shows how powerful Magneto is but didn’t Charles tell Wolverine that Magneto can control metal. Wouldn’t Wolverine have the knowledge, “Hey using my METAL claws against a METAL bender might not be a good idea.”

Kinda figured he would want Rouge, a mutant who can literally kill someone with touch is definitely something the big bad would want.

Magento could just metal bend Charles’ wheelchair.

So Magento’s plan is to turn everyone into mutants, right?

Charles explained it more and it sounds like Terragensis from Agents of Shield with the crystals. Some come out of it with powers, others will crumble to dust.

What powers the cortex that makes it so Charles goes into a coma? Like how does the liquid get into his brain for that to happen?

Yes Jean, it is a perfect idea to put the helmet that put Charles into a coma on your head. Nothing will go wrong.

Mystique really only has like five lines in this whole movie. She really is just supposed to be eye candy.

Of course classic shapeshifter double, who’s who scene. Probably going to be resolved with Jean Gray knowing which one is the real Logan.

The fight scene isn’t that well shot but it is 2000 so

I don’t remember there being a big museum when I visited the Statue of Liberty

I doubt Mystique will stay dead.

Again they thought it would be a good idea to send Wolverine, the man with METAL CLAWS to help fight a METAL BENDER.

Nice of Magneto to put Cyclops and Jean right next to each other face to face.(Director: They’re a couple they must face each other so one can kill the other)

Yep, knew Mystique couldn’t stay dead

Why did they try and have Jean and Logan have a weird semi romance set up when Jean is dating Scott

They gave Charles a plastic wheel chair for when he visited Magneto. Ha, that’s funny.

Plastic isn’t that durable, it would be easy to break Magneto out

X2

Nightcrawler!

The fights scenes have improved, but they’re using a lot of wire rigging

Alan Cummings played NightCrawler. Knew he looked familiar.

Let’s have Wolverine follow a wolf even though wolves are wolverine's natural predators.

Watch the president be a mutant

Dad!Logan

Still painting it that Logan and Jean could possibly end up together. No thanks.

I see they didn’t change Mystique’s costume design. Is she going to say more than five lines in this movie?

Government wants to pass an act to detain and control all mutants, goes and raids a school filled with mutants, and then is SURPRISED when the mutants retaliate. “Oh we don’t want to start a war” THEN LEAVE THEM ALONE. Of course they’re not going to leave them alone because what isn’t normal scares them and must be dealt with no matter what.

Getting even more parallels between mutants and LGBTQ+. Striker wanted his son cured of the mutant gene but was ultimately upset when Charles’s school couldn’t do that. It’s similar to how when people come out to their parents, their parents send them to conversion camps to “Cure” them because they think being gay is an illness. 

Bobby don’t get horny, it will only end badly

I asked the question if Magento could bend the iron in people’s blood in the last movie. The answer is yes. Yes he can.

Bobby’s parents “Have you tried not being a mutant.” Gives more LGBTQ parreles “Have you tried being straight?” “Have you tried being your assigned gender?”

An officer shooting a white guy? Unrealistic.

Welp Bad guys and good guys team up to save Charles.

Jean and Logan kissed. Here’s my shocked face. #TeamScott.

But seriously, I hate how the main dude must have romantic interactions with the main girl. It’s never the main dude has romantic interactions with a minor(minior in the sense of not that important to the plot) girl, Storm is right there with no love interest. Pair Logan up with her, that way we aren’t running an already established romance, But nooooo, Hollywood loves to have love triangles.

Mystique changing into Jean, making out with Logan, and then changing into a bunch of different girls makes me uncomfortable.

But again, “All women who have the potential to be a love interest must kiss the main dude” now we wait for Storm to give Logan a smooch.

Female Wolverine!

Magneto had his own secret agenda? Who would have thought?

Bobby’s going to come in clutch with freezing the water

Why does Jean need to go and stop the water? Bobby has control over ice, he can stop it.

Man I really feel bad for Scott. 

But I’m miffed because it’s the classic female character dies to further male character’s development.

Oh look Jean’s alive, not surprise. Is she going to be the villain of X-men 3?

I couldn’t watch X-Men 3 because it wasn’t available on any sites but reading the wiki synopsis I was right on her being a bad guy(MY BOY SCOTT GOT MURDERED!). Upset Charles died but he was old and the mentor figure so he kinda had it coming.  On to the prequels. 

X-Men-First Class

So Charles met Mystique first. And her name is Raven. Wonder what caused their split. I just hope they weren’t romantically involved

Poor Erik, really giving him a tragic backstory

James Macavoy!

Raven and Charles call each other siblings! Oh this is going to hurt more.

Excuse me while I get distracted by Vegas women.

But also did the CIA woman plan to sneak in as a showgirl. Because who would wear lingerie under work clothes unless she planned for this(or planned to get freaky later). I mean it’s Vegas so maybe she was prepared.

Emma Frost is a telepath and can crystalize her body. Not what I was expecting with the last name Frost but I also find it odd that her two mutations don’t intersect with each other. Telepathy and crystallization have nothing in common, so the only explanation is that she got both genes from her parents. It would have to be rare since males are usually the ones to pass the gene to their kids.

Azazel. I’m guessing is Nightcrawler's dad. He and Mystique will get romantically involved and have Nightcrawler. He’ll get the blue skin from his mom but the mutant gene from his dad.

Ok I’m miffed about the costume design again. It’s London and it’s raining and they decided to have Raven and the CIA woman wear SHORTS! They’ll be freezing their asses off all so you can have some leg candy? What’s so appealing about knees? Nothing. It’s always been women’s costume designs that have to be appealing, not practical.

If Charles can’t be involved with Mystique, then he’ll have to get involved with Moira?(I don’t know if I heard her name correctly, the CIA lady). Because all male characters MUST have a romantic love interest(sarcasm)

That one CIA dude, he’s a real one.

So the dude that killed Erik’s mother, is also a mutant. 

How is Erik trending water and controlling metal? Nevermind, he’s drowning

Charles saves Erik! And thus the ship is born. “Erik, you’re not alone.”

Hank Mcoy. They zoomed in on Mystique when he was looking at her. Reading the camera angles...oh please don’t have another romantic set up.

They did the Spiderman/MJ framing with Hank upside down and Mystique very close to his face. Yep, they’re setting up a romance between them that will ultimately go nowhere because again, Mystique will do the do with Azael to get Nightcrawler.

Hank and Mystique have only known each other for like five minutes and they’re already having a picnic on top of a rocket. I hate how romance moves so fast in movies.

And Mystique was going to kiss him. Just...no

Erik, right after he walks in on Hank and Mystique’s picnic: If I looked like you, I wouldn’t change a thing. 

Are they really trying to set up a love triangle between Hank, Mystique and Erik? I know Magneto and Mystique's relationship in the first three movies is close, but that sentence just makes it sound like Erik is jealous.

“Are you sure we can’t shave your head.” “Don’t touch my hair”. I mean he’s going to lose it eventually.

I love the mutant finding montage. Especially the Wolverine cameo

My mom just informed me that the bad bad is played by Kevin Bacon so that’s what I will refer to him as since I can’t remember his name.

These recruited mutants aren’t going to last long. They’ve got the youthful team up energy, they will be the “First Class” hence the name, but we probably won’t see them again after this movie.

Charles, Erik and Moira being disappointed parents. Starting to get a family vibe that we didnt get from the last three movies.

Charles as Erik storms in: I’m sorry, I can’t leave him. They’re gay your honor.

I just realized that Frost is the second right hand woman to have no real costume. She’s just like Mystique where “she must wear the least amount of clothing possible or have no clothing at all when using her powers” I just wish it would stop.

Let’s take the right hand woman who is a telepath with us. What could go wrong?

What is Angel’s motive to go with Bacon, like I don’t get it. And the adaption dude? It’s just a turn on the dime. Nevermind it was a fakeout and one of them died. Knew they weren’t going to last long.

I feel like Chalres trying to shoot Erik as training is foreshadowing.

Training montage

SO Bacon loses Frost and now has Angle as his right hand woman? I honestly didn’t think that necessary.

Welp there goes Mystique and Hank’s relationship. He only liked her when she was in disguise.

Conflicting differences! Finally get to see Erik and Charle’’s view on humans.

Knew it! As soon as Hank dumps Mystique she goes straight to Erik. Because “She MUST be romantically involved.” Why? Why? Can’t she just...not. She doesn’t need a man.

Erik: I want to go to bed. Maybe in a few years. Ha funny.

I get Mystique going to Erik because he accepts her, unlike Hank but again, she doesn’t need to have a love interest.

Suits! But again, miffed about Mystique’s suit not being fully set up. SHE DOESN'T”T NEED TO HAVE HER CLEAVAGE TEASING IF SHE”S GOING TO BE FIGHTING!

Could Charles just stop controlling Bacon, so he can move and Erik wouldn’t have a chance to kill him.

But good cuts between Bacon and Charles.

The boyfriends are fighting!

Oh that’s how he gets parralized. I forgot about that.

Erik really does care for Charles even tho they have different viewpoints

Mystique going with Erik and having Azeal with him is setting up the perfect opportunity for Nightcrawler.

“Gentleman, this is why the CIA is no place for a woman” *Big gigantic crash* That’s what you get for being sexist.

Days of Future Past

So these machines can absorb mutant powers and transfer them to other machines. A new threat.

Oh Charles isn’t dead from being disintegrated by Dark Phoenix

Logan!

Charles confirmed Mystique was like a sister to him.

So Mystique’s dna was the cause of the Sentitnals. I understand that stopping Mystique from shooting the doctor will change that, but also if that doesn’t work they would have to kill Mystique.(which won’t happen because she’s in the next movie.

Charles tells Wolverine that he didn’t have his powers in 1973, but First Class takes place in 1962 where he definitely had his powers. So what happened to Charles that made him lose his powers?

For once the government isn’t targeting mutants

Well one dude from First Class is in this movie, but sadly I can’t remember his name. X-beam guy.

Why is Charles drunk and not parallelized?

Hank still cares for Raven. Guess the love triangle is still a thing

Oh he’s doing the equivalent of mutant heroine to get rid of his powers and walk.

Erik in gay baby jail.

Erik killed JFK?! Why?!

I feel like if Mystique is searching around the office of someone, she should still be disguised as someone so she doesn’t get caught. I get her dropping the disguise to show the audience it’s her and it builds suspense but she would draw less suspicion.

PETER! MY boy!

I love that he talks fast and that’s kinda like a teenager. I don’t know how old he actually is.

“My mom knew a guy who could do that.” They’re not even trying to be subtle here.

Slow mo Peter speed scene! Yes!

Is that all we get of Peter in this movie? I hope not.

JFK WAS A MUTANT?

So Magneto can lift a plane, a submarine, and now a baseball stadium. Why does he need a baseball stadium?

They showed a clip of Peter watching the broadcast and he’s holding a little girl. I’d like to think that’s Wanda.

Everyone’s alive. Yay!

I’ll excuse Jean being alive because time changes and all that. SCOTT! SCOTT”S ALIVE! YES!

Apocalypse

Hey Oscar Issac

Young Scott!

Young Nightcrawler!

Erik went from wanting to kill humans to being a farmer and having a wife and daughter. Still going to end up on the bad side.

Young Jean Gray! Scott and her start out rocky but we know they’re going to end up together.

Knew the wife and kid wasn’t going to last long. Always got to do something that makes Magneto the bad guy

Two birds...one arrow

For this one, I can understand Magneto’s anger

Young Storm was originally on the bad guy’s side.

Scott sees things through literal rose tinted glasses.

I love Kurt.

Scott use to be a rule breaker

At least Storm has a practical costume. 

Also if Erik really wanted to lay low, why did he choose to work at a metal factory.

Pyslocke’s costume isn’t practical. She’s got a boob and butt window. Girl there are so many places you could get stabbed.

PETER!

Charles and Erik always greet each other with old friend

So birdman gets metal armor and the girls get nothing.

Peter slow-mo! This will always be my favorite speedster scene

So the only people that can save the X-Men are Cyclops, Jean Gray, and NightCrawler. Three teenagers with no plan. They got this.

Go Charles! Fighting no matter what.

Logan!

Thankfully most of these characters can’t die.

Pyslocke  and Angel can die but the others all have plot armour

Peter didn’t tell Erik he’s his son. Why?

No not the hair! Apocalypse took Charle’s hair.

Go Peter!

No Peter!

So Charles still has the hair when he’s in Apocalypse's head. Part of me knows it won’t grow back but I hope it does.

Mind fight!

So Erik is on the good guys side until the next movie.

Mystique finally has a good costume design

Dark Phoenix

The dude they got to play Bush doesn't look like Bush

SPACE!

This mission is going to go wrong and the X-men are going to get planned. Thus leading the world going against mutants again.

They gave Scott is own eye cannon, nice

Yea absorbing a solar flare will definitely cause your powers to go way hire

Well the mission didn’t go wrong, the way i thought it would. That’s good.

Charles motives have changed

So, men, supposed gods, robots, and now we’re dealing with aliens

Charles kinda being shown as a bad guy is weird. So used to seeing him have good motives.

The aliens want Jean to use her power to take over earth. Not surprising.

Dad now is not the time to poke the super powered bear

Police always show up at the wrong time

I know Mystique can’t die. This is the prequels

But again, Stop killing female characters to further male character’s development.

Oh there’s Erik. 50 minutes in and i thought we weren’t going to see him

Jean’s got a heat signature with that solar flare so it would be easy to track her.

At least the military decided to fallback instead of shooting

And there goes humans liking mutants. This is why we can’t have nice things.

So Mystique’s death is what sets Erik on being the villain again? It’s the same as a woman losing her husband and becoming a villain for revenge. Honestly I’m tired of love revenge plots.

Guys stop fighting! You’re  friends!

Oh shit! Jean is making Charles walk. And not in the good way.

OH SHIT KURT IS KILLING PEOPLE NOW!

Dark Phoenix. A movie about family.

Legend of the Phoenix. She’ll rise from the ashes.

Bummed Peter wasn’t in this movie more

All in all, Apcolypse is my favorite X-Men movie.

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 83

First, and most importantly: Happy Transgender Day of Visibility! To anyone who was given the wrong gender at birth, I see you and you are safe here.

If you don’t read further because of that? Well.... I don’t want you reading my stuff. The Ark is welcoming and loving. So.

If you are still with me: I actually had to start a second google doc for the story, just to continue with this chapter.... It’s mind blowing that I’ve gotten so far.  With everything going on in the world at the moment, this story has been a great escape and something worth carving out time for.

THAT SAID... Please don’t hesitate to send me asks, messages, or submissions.  I love hearing new ideas, or having the chance to talk about the things that just don’t make it on the page. Even if your ask/message/submission isn’t story related, shoot it on over.

Thanks for this chapter goes out to a whole host of people: @satan-parisienne, @baelpenrose, @zommbiebro, and @charlylimph-blog (I don’t care how often this site unfollows me from you, I will chase you down!). I genuinely don’t think I could have created so much, so consistently, without all of you.

Charly and I chose to walk to Xiomara’s office rather than take a transport.  Even though I was a bit shaken by what happened with Jokull, the exercise gave us both an opportunity to burn off nervous energy.  By the time we arrived, both of us were calmer and had our thoughts together.

Once access was granted, the door slid aside to reveal not just Xiomara, but Tyche.  I wasn’t sure if Xiomara wanted her to hear what happened, given how much stress my fellow Councillor placed on secrecy for her operation. “I need to report an incident involving Jokull Bjornson.”

My glance at my sister was met with a scoff. “Do you really think I believe you won’t tell her what happened?” Xiomara stared me down like I was an idiot.  “First things first: are either of you ladies injured?”

I shook my head carefully, while Charly grinned sheepishly. “See, here’s the thing - “

“Charly Harper, why is there blood in your mouth?” Xio’s eyes darkened as she leaned forward intently.

A hand flew up to cover the younger woman’s mouth as her eyes got wide. “Oops…” She started fidgeting with the strings on her sweatshirt. “We were minding our own business, I swear, just walking along, and - he’s so rude!  Obviously he could see Sophia wasn’t paying attention, so he stood in front of her, because he’s rude.” She started gesturing frenetically, like she was reenacting the events.  “I pulled her out of the way so we could just go on minding our own business, like we were, but he kept stepping in front of her, and then he kind of sideways called her stupid and refused to use her title like the sexist pig I bet he is, and then he, I dunno, hit on me? It was gross.” I nodded and shrugged, making her wince.  “But anyway, Sophia tried to stop him and then he was so mean and all standing over her, and I thought he was going to hit her so I shoved her out of the way, and I was right, because he hit me instead, and I may have.. I mean, I did obviously - “ she gestured at her mouth “ - but I only remember his clavicle, not his arm, and - “

“For the love of life, please take a breath,” Xiomara interrupted, throwing her hands in the air.  “What did you do?”

Before she could respond, I cut to the chase. “She bit the shit out of him. Twice.” I ignored Tyche’s snort and turned to Charly. “I thought he hit you after you bit him?”

“Well yeah, then too, but he hit me the first time trying to punch you.”

“I didn’t see that part,” I murmured.

“Duh. You were on the ground, silly.”

The sound of a cleared throat brought us back to the task at hand. “So, you were approached by a suspected cult leader, who seems to have instigated an altercation, and Miss Harper’s first reaction was to bite him?”

“No, I told you, I pushed Sophia out of the way first.”

There was the slightest upward twitch in Xiomara’s mouth. “And you say you were provoked?”

“Yes! He tried to hit Sophia, and hit me instead! I was protecting her.”

“She’s capable of defending herself.”

“And? You wouldn’t ask Tyche these questions.”  Charly stared Xiomara down, frowning.

I had no idea what was going on here.  We came to report something that might be relevant to the operation to infiltrate the cult… Why did it seem like it was turning into Charly being grilled?

The silent tension in the room drew out agonizingly before something broke.  I jumped with a dignified squeak when Xiomara threw her head back and laughed.  “I’m sorry,” she gasped. “I just… the mental image of our attempted-Viking-overlord being attacked by a woman half his size is just…  That’s the best thing I’ve thought of all day.”

“He was very confused,” I agreed.

Tyche stood, hands on her hips. “Hang on a sec.  You said he hit you twice?”

“Ugh, he hits like a baby,” Charly whined before pausing.  She tilted her head and turned towards me. “Actually, that doesn’t make sense.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.  

Xiomara abruptly stopped laughing and snapped her head around to stare at Charly intently. “Yes. Please explain.”

Charly scratched her cheek absently. “We stopped at a medbay… Sophia insisted in case he had something yucky in his blood, seeing as I got a mouthful of it.  Even the red marks he left on my face were mostly gone by the time I was scanned.”

“Okay…” I mean, I was there, I already knew all this.

“This guy is freaking huge, you all.  Like Xiomara pointed out, he’s literally twice my size.  He should have hurt me a lot more, just by accident.  There is no way his knee-jerk reaction to being bitten twice, and hard enough to draw blood, is to just tap me on the face hard enough to make me let go.” Her face screwed up in confusion.

“I thought he knocked you down?” Xiomara asked for clarification.

She shook her head vigorously. “Nope.  He hit me just hard enough to hit the nerve right here.” She pointed to the hinge of her jaw. “It basically made my jaw all fuzzy and tingly, and I couldn’t hold on. Gravity did the rest.”

Tyche’s eyes narrowed, and she turned to Xio. “So do we think dumb luck from a wuss, or very deliberate action?”

“I don’t know,” came the response. “Either way, he clearly didn’t want to hurt anyone.”

“Wrong. So wrong,” Charly argued. “The first time he hit me, he was aiming for Sophia, and would have hit her pretty hard in the kidneys.  He just managed to get me in the upper shoulder, instead, since I’m shorter.  I think it’s clear he didn’t want to hurt me, but he definitely wanted to hurt her.”

Everyone’s eyes turned to me, and I felt sick to my stomach. What the actual fuck did I do?

Xiomara nodded intently, which was pretty much expected. When I looked at my sister, she was nodding, too, biting her bottom lip like she was thinking about something.  That wasn’t the part that concerned me.  What concerned me was her loose posture, leaned over with both hands on the back of a chair, while she stared into space.  For anyone who didn’t know her, it looked like she was trying to wrap her mind around the information I just gave her about her partner.  No white knuckles, no clenched jaw.  It made no sense.

Why wasn’t she mad? “Why me though?  I don’t even know this guy!”

Xiomara pulled up her datapad and flicked a file at me.  When I opened it, my eyes got wide. “Yep. His psych profile. Read ‘em and weep.”

As I read the information in front of me, repeating it out loud. “Ambition, enhancement, memory, clarity.”  That right there is why the Miys picked you. Empathy, enhancement, memory, clarity. Those are your defining attributes. I heard the ghost of Simon’s voice echo in my head from when I first woke up here. “He hates me, because he sees me as a weaker version of him?” I asked hesitantly.

“It’s a distinct possibility,” Xiomara confirmed. “He doesn’t have access to those profiles, unless someone hacked in, and Derek says they haven’t been touched.  But he may see you being in a position of power as an insult.”

When Tyche rubbed her face with one hand, it clicked. “You fucking knew,” I whispered, too betrayed to speak any louder. Snapping around to face Xiomara squarely, I resisted the urge to scream at her. “I thought you weren’t keeping us in on this?  The whole point of bringing this to you was to keep my family out of it, for once!”

Unperturbed, Xiomara held up one hand for permission to speak, and I nearly slapped it back down.  Instead, I growled and crossed my arms. “She’s helping in a different capacity, one I have requested she not disclose to you.  It is essential that what she is doing be kept secret. So, yes, she knew, for about two hours longer than you have.”

My eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Oh. Oh. This is… this is recent.  Like, today recent.”

“Yes, today recent,” she confirmed, leaning back with a sigh. “And yes, I was prepared for the chance that he would approach you.  No, I wasn’t just going to leave you to the wolves, but it turns out that wasn’t even necessary.” With one hand, she made a sweeping gesture at Charly. “Between her, your sister, and your partners, I am reasonably certain you should be safe at all times.  Just don’t take any chances, okay?  Have Maverick, Conor, or both walk you to and from your office every day… so sweet, right?  Eat lunch with  someone we trust. That kind of thing.  Nothing really changes, just be alert to your surroundings.”

I groaned loudly. “Xio, I just got my personal shadows to let me walk to work by myself.  They are never going to let me live this down.”

“There are worse things in life than having loved ones who want you to be safe. I think you’ll live.”

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[midhavencryptids]

Rebecca Chapter 1 Test And Results

Based on Dr. Jekyll's Work becomes a very different Hyde, with an unexpected transgendered results.

The very start of Mr Edward Fletcher’s unwittingly transformative journey, where some bloods had been requested of him....

Note to readers all stories connecting with Midhaven (Mid-haven) are set in 1994. All the characters are purely fictional, and no way portray any real people or institutes of any kind.

MIDHAVEN:

Rebecca

By Maddie Jane Rann

1 Tests and Results

31st March 1994

Edward Fletcher sat anxiously in the empty waiting room of his local surgery for his appointment which was supposedly meant for 10:30am. He himself, was a gaunt and lanky looking 35 year old dressed in a slightly crumpled grey office suit. He had four inch long auburn hair which was styled into a centre parted undercut and also wore thin framed rectangular glasses. Restless with nerves knowing a blood test had been required of him by his new GP, Dr Elliot. He had only met the doctor once before, for some completely unrelated matter since he transferred from Bournemouth and taken over his previous doctor’s practice. Nevertheless, it was something that Edward really could of done without, plus the blood nurse was running late which only put him more on edge. Looking for some form of distraction he glanced to the low coffee table of magazines about three feet ahead of him. He rose slightly out of his chair, the red coloured tie dangled out of his jacket as he leaned forward. Shakily he rummaged through the assortment of ‘Glenda’ fashion magazines until clumsily knocking a couple of issues to the floor. In a panic he picked them up and placed them neatly in a tidy pile on the table before collapsing back into his chair with a sigh of embarrassment.

“You tit.” He uttered

He gave up the clock that was hanging on the far end wall an impatient glance, it was now 10:43.

“It's cutting it a bit fine.” He muttered to himself, he had an important meeting at 11:15 which he must attend the weekly briefing of the Lindenbay shopping district on the Harbour which he was appointed as a senior architect, then he was expected on site thereafter. As this was a fasting test he was just hoping there might have been chance of breakfast before his work begun.

Moments later he caught from the corner of his left eye, an elderly couple being led carefully out of the phlebotomy room and then the nurse as she watched them creep past the reception and out the main entrance. Then she turned and looked down towards him with her hands on hips.

“Edward Fletcher!” She called sternly yet with a playful tone. To him the calling was like the tolling of the iron bell, but the aged female voice was familiar and somewhat soothing to his recollection. He turned nervously to meet his calling only to smile with some relief that it was his Mother’s friend June who was on duty today.

“Oh....um, June, hello.” He greeted standing to his full height of 6ft1.

“April Fools by chance? No? Not today?”

“Hello Eddy, come this way.” The 60-year-old Nurse beckoned him with a smirk and led him into the poky room that housed a singular black leather treatment chair which was bolted to the floor. There was a tall fan blowing in the corner that made June’s blue disposable apron flitter dramatically in its breeze.

“If you could remove your jacket and roll up both sleeves before taking a seat, I do like to have my pick of veins.”

“Oh yes OK.” Edward did as he was bided.

“You seem a little tense Eddie? Anything the matter?” She asked whilst checking over his notes.

“Ah well you know…. It’s a blood test and…..” He began as he sat in the treatment chair gazing around at the four blind walls and quickly objecting.

"There are no windows in here?”

“Yes, you would think us phlebotomists were all vampires or something, you should know by now I don’t bite, just prick a little.” She smiled.

“Ah ha yes, that’s what I’m actually afraid of…...” He added with a nervous laugh.

“Oh, I see….. You fall under Dr. Elliot, lucky you, with your infamously well-known fear of needles and all. I don’t know. He’s always requesting bloods for one thing or another, usually something mundane coupled with genomic testing. Usually, I thought it was something reserved as a premium treatment, never known a doctor to request this as much. Seems to be his style, I guess, prefers the full ins and outs of his patients’ right down to their DNA. Anyhow he keeps me busy.”

“Terrific, lucky me indeed.” Edward squirmed as he tried to get comfortable on the leather seat.

“Liver function…. right.” She started to look for the colour coded phials through the equipment draws.

“I think Dr Elliot had been concerned with my history of drinking.” Edward mentioned shamefully

“Uh huh.” June sighed knowing all too well.

“And how’s that been going?”

“Very well, though I have had a few dips late. But only on occasions.”

June pouted with disbelief.

“Really?”

“Ahh, look, to be honest, it’s this shopping centre development it’s been really getting to me of late.”

“Oh really? You’re doing that now? It looks very exciting what they’ve been planning for the harbour.” Said June.

“Uh huh yeah, well you know when they had to halt construction during the discovery of the 14th century burial pit, it was all over the Midhaven Messenger for weeks on end. Well by the time the archaeologists had finished the architectural firm that had been employed for the project had gone bust leaving our firm to immediately take over. They left so many flaws it was unbelievable, never mind the parts that were left unfinished. A complete and utter mess, to be fair, that shouldn’t have gone as far as planning yet alone construction! You know they left 18 shop spaces, completely blocked off with no access!”

In meantime of Edwards complaining she had found the correct phial and took another look at his notes….

“Ah…. I thought so, bang on style, genomics too, right where did I leave those tubes. OK just sit back Eddy I won’t take long at all. Talk about drinking have you diluted yourself with plenty of water?”

“Oh yes Aunty June……. and have been fasting since 10 past last night.” As he saw it was on the tip of her tongue.

“Very good….. Just for security reasons could you confirm your address and date of birth please? Just so I know it’s you.”

“But you already know….” He stopped with June’s glaring, over the top of her glasses.

“Ohhh…. 15th of the 4th 1958 and 13 A Mitchell Avenue, Midhaven, MD1 JH3.” He sighed.

“Very good Eddy.” She confirmed then gave her hands a singular clap before scooting away from her desk in her wheeled desk chair to Edwards left side.

“Now just relax and I promise I won’t take too much.”

He gulped as the needle of doom was now inevitable, yet knew he was in safe hands. His eyes wondered from his Mum’s old friend preparing his arm for the surgical procedure to staring at the collection of photos stuck to the wall ahead of him. These pictures were an odd assortment of carnival masks and cocker spaniels, he figured it was probably something that either June or another blood nurse had put together for the patients to focus on rather than the blood being taken.

7thof April 1994

A few days later as Dr Elliot came to work he was handed several letters from the front desk that had arrived the day before. His brow rose with intrigue noticing that they all came from the Phlebotomy labs in the city. He thanked the receptionist with a smile of gratitude before taking the envelopes and his briefcase to his office. Without another moment he sat at his desk and was readily opening the envelopes with great enthusiasm. Dr Elliot who was an average looking man in his late middle years with silver hair that swept across his head. He also bore thick black eyebrows that were currently furrowed behind large paned glasses. These letters were indeed the latest round of test blood results that he requested, though he was more interested in his patient’s genomics, seemingly at first to disregard the other. He speedily went through two lots scouring them closely only to not finding what he was looking for. It wasn’t until his third envelope and opening it with a sigh to only expecting the same humdrum when something caught his eye that instantly gave him a chills, something exciting as he ran through the latest sets of numbers. A look of long lost cheer came to his grey middle aged face as he quickly drew a red pen from the desk tidy and roughly circled the odd allele scores that brought him to such frenzy. Once finished he slapped his left hand down on the edge of the desk then opened a draw just underneath, lifting the corners of a couple of folders that concealed a small flat key. He took hold of it before springing out of his chair, and almost skipped to the grey metallic filing cabinet that stood beside the window only 6ft to his left. Pushing the key into the lock of the bottom draw then turned it and pulled the handle. In seconds he was leafing through the murky green coloured folders until he found the one he was searching. Taking away the whole folder he returned to his desk and sat down before spreading out a few pages of his interest, one was another set of genetics like the one he marked. He ran his finger through the results.

“Ha!” He barked and scribbled circles around similar results in the same red pen. He beamed with joy as he held them studying them side by side, his mind now racing with possibilities. This was the opportunity that he and his associate had been waiting for, for quite some time with now just the thought that they might finally reach their goal in the next couple of days, if they planned it right. After a moment of pause for consideration he put down the paper and picked up the handset on the cream coloured desk telephone. He held it to his left ear and keyed in the number. While he waited for his recipient to pick up the phone he took time to find the name of the patient whom the results belonged to.

“Mr Edward Fletcher? What a lucky man you are.”

He smiled heartily when the other end of the line was picked up and proceeded to speak in bright and theatrical manner.

“Ah, good morning my dear May! It’s Elliot here….. Yes!…. Yes!….. I’m quite aware how early it is for you, but if you must be up all night skulking around until the early hours…. My point?” He was taken back by his recipient’s seeming impertinence.

“Now if you give me a little time and patience, I can inform you of some very good news that came by post this morning.” He picked up the results.

“Yes…. it’s some genomes if you care, from one of my patients, they came back from…. Yes, he has all the right faults that I have been looking for, in all the right places for the formula to work. This is it, my dearest May, this is it.” He listened to the receivers reply though by the sinking look on his face it was probably a reply of a dreary lack of enthusiasm.

“All right…. I shall tell you what…. “He breathed rubbing his temple in frustration.

“We shall reconvene this matter when I come off duty…. About half 6…. you say you’ll meet me. Of course, the usual place, the old sail factory, we can set up the equipment at once. Then we can decide how to safely capture our specimen. Until then I’ll let you have your sleep… oh.” May hung up cutting the call abruptly.

“You may even wake up a little less insolent too.” He said to himself glumly and still holding the phone to his ear, in a delayed moment later returned it to the base.

“But that of course would be asking too much of you my dear.” He sighed

Dr Elliot looked at his clock it was 8:30, then hurriedly gathered the test results and associated papers in the folder just before the receptionist knocked on the door.

“Coffee Dr Elliot?” She called.

“That would be lovely Miss Tibbs, please come in.” He replied with a big arm gesture, the young lady entered with a mug of filtered coffee in one hand and a printed A4 sheet of booked appointments in the other which placed on top of his desk next to the folder.

“There you go Doctor, milk and no sugar and your appointments for today.”

“Ahhh….Thank you so kindly.” He said and then began studying the list as she backed out the office. He nodded when he understood the workload ahead and took a sip of his coffee, then picked up his folder and placed it in his desk draw before dutifully calling for his first patient by pressing the button of the intercom device that was sat next to his telephone.

“Mr Utterson to see Dr Elliot, come to room 2 please, I am quite ready to see you now.”

next chapter

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