#''What do you want out of life?'' when he's already achieved (or so it appears on the outside) the midcentury blazon of success:
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widowshill · 1 year ago
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r/v + loneliness.
102 / Daphne du Maurier, Rebecca, ch. 4 / 4 / 8 / Art Wallace, Shadows on the Wall / 603 / Daphne du Maurier, Rebecca, ch 4. / 473 / Richard Sherman, Demo: "Lovely, Lonely Man/Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Finale" / 2
#➤ roger collins & victoria winters. ┊ pain sometimes precedes pleasure,miss winters.#➤ edits & art. ┊ the evans cottage art gallery.#compilation tag#idk I have just been Thinking about this since that gifset lol.#‘I’ll blame it on you‚’ she says — because you are the one who has brought me here‚ she thinks#because she seems to anticipate even in their first meeting that she will play Eyre and he Rochester.#there had better be many more such tête-à-tête���s on the cliff side or she’ll be terribly disappointed !#[and not only cliffside proselytizing: barging into her room at all hours‚ chasing her around town‚ dragging her bodily into the drawing#room‚ and‚ occasionally on a good day‚ an actual genuine date or a meal sometime.]#Roger has –– in theory –– everything that she wants. a family‚ a home‚ a wife and child‚ history and ancestry! boy does he have that!#and yet he is terribly terribly alone in this well he has poisoned.#(from which‚ I might add‚ vicki drinks greedily.)#''What do you want out of life?'' when he's already achieved (or so it appears on the outside) the midcentury blazon of success:#a family‚ a well-to-do office position at which he really does nothing‚ a succession of american-made sports cars.#he may be separated from his wife but together‚ he and elizbeth and david and carolyn form a mimetic image of the nuclear family.#to which vicki is desperate to grasp onto‚ even in its most nightmarish form‚ whether or not she realizes that's why she stays.#but what does he want? he wants the same thing she wants. love and companionship. (that he hasn't yet ruined. that he can't stop ruining.)#she may not precisely understand his type of loneliness but she knows about loneliness among people. she's lived it.#and she knows too about ... a visceral loneliness pushing you to push people even further away (as in the childhood story she tells david).#so she sees through his fronts a lot of the time‚ whether they be a layer of charm‚ or terror. and boy does he hate that. being seen for#something real. where his actions matter and produce consequences. where feeling is real – good or bad.#the little governess and her capacity to find shadows to throw light on! whether they be locked chambers in the basement or the atria.
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xjulixred45x · 11 months ago
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I could't contain myself guys sorry--
Bro, do you realize how scary it would be to have Vox as a Yandere?
just imagine it. You could be one of his workers, maybe too good at your job, because not only do you do what Vox tells you without asking questions, but you also know what to say and what not to say to avoid a "tantrum" from him. or rather, when his insecurities attack with force like when Alastor returns.
Vox would probably be a somewhat condescending yandere (as seen with Val) but don't think you can't turn tables easily, if you stroke his ego enough, you can have him around your finger. but that doesn't make it any less dangerous for those around you.
He makes the typical 180 degree turn in attitude when it comes to Other Employees and when it comes to You. Damn, you may be the only one of his employees who gets paid vacations (or even vacations) or even birthday bonuses, things like that. He likes to give you his things or products with the excuse that "they are for testing" even if they have already been released on the market.
Like:
Vox: who the fuck eat My leftovers!?! WHENEVER WHO WAS I'M GOING TO-
Darling: it was me sir.
Vox:--give You the rest and take You out for lunch, You haven't eaten in the whole day AGAIN, didn't ya?
He definitely avoids conflict with you by hypnotizing you, when he starts to feel hostility, fear on your part or that you want to leave, he makes you "out of nowhere" have "ONE MORE TASK" and you can't help but do what he says.
and IT IS NOT just to avoid fights or for you to leave, it is something CONSTANT (once every two days MINIMUM), although Vox is not worried about your brain turning into mush due to its powers, it always keeps nutritious things in your diet and they come out relatively often , as you have to follow him everywhere.
Eventually he becomes more clingy and needy in this case, it's practically not that he's proposing to you or anything, he's just slowly dragging you into a relationship without you realizing it (because you're not lucid enough). Unless you develop a higher level of tolerance to his hypotonic trick, I don't think you'll notice his Red Flags.
I think it would be ESPECIALLY BAD if Darling is also a Sinner, because then they wouldn't even be able to get out of the pride ring to run away from Vox. leaving you with many fewer options and having to avoid all of Vox's technology, which you could only achieve by 1- going to the Cannibal Legion or 2- going to the Hazbin Hotel.
Running away is EXTREMELY DIFFICULT, not only because of his hypnotic trick, but because he literally has EYES EVERYWHERE, on every screen in hell. If you somehow manage to get away with it and run away, Vox would be SO ANGRY and looking for you all over hell with their screens.
Although definitely if you were gone more than a day, he would be more distraught than angry and would begin to despair. Even Val and Velvet would give him a hand because of how bad it would be.
Just imagine, thinking that you finally lost sight of Vox's search drones, without realizing that you stand in front of some store and VOX ITSELF appears on the screens :)
If you made the stupid decision to go to the Hazbin Hotel, Vox would be distraught and would even think that Alastor was somehow holding you hostage, obviously! Why would you go there if you knew his biggest enemy was there? Alastor must be using you as a bargaining chip! How dare he!?
(in this case, fortunately, the punishment is much less severe, but he would definitely monitor you for the rest of your life)
When he eventually gets you back (after a few days or even WEEKS of anguish) expect, first of all, to be in a mortal embrace that lasts AT LEAST 2 days and then receive your "punishment" which would be to be under hypnosis for AT LEAST 1 YEAR to be sure that this NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN.
Although calm down! He gives your mind breaks periodically because 1- he doesn't know if that would ultimate mess with your head and 2- it's nice to hear YOU talk instead of the robotic version.
When that year FINALLY ends, you will be a much more obedient, more terrified, sweeter version of You, according to Vox, like a frightened Deer. It was a long and hard process, but the good thing is that you don't have to do anything anymore! absolutely! Just do what he tells you and everything will be fine.
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Shares, reblogs and comments are very welcome!
Not one of the Best yanderes to have, but Def not the worst
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shooting-love-arrows · 1 year ago
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𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄! 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐀𝐑 𝐃𝐀𝐃𝐃𝐘
PAIRING: 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝐒𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐫 𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 x reader (gender not mentioned/implied/specified); SYNOPSIS: Your first meeting with him was anthing but charming. Especially when he cornered you to the point, where you know you'll have no choice but to submit. TW. implied age gap, manipulation, threatening (?), red flag, power imbalance;
𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
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"How can I help you, sir?"
"Be my sugar baby."
You blinked owlishly, trying to process what this customer said and if it was on the menu. When in fact it turned out that it isn't and you connected the words and their meaning, you were ready to burst out laughing.
He can't be serious.
Just by looking at him, you can tell he occupies a high position in some fancy corporation. You were even ready to bet that he was a CEO! It was a mystery itself why he was here, in a food chain restaurant in the first place. An enigma why he even said something like that to you, a plain worker who is pretty much opposite in every aspect one could think of.
He is handsome, you give him that. Probably older than you, since his face was more defined and mature. His suit, which you imagned to be tailor-made, colonge that was so strong you could smell it from behind the counter and all the expensive accesories (I mean look at his watch! Worth univesity tuition installment or two!) he had on were probably worth more than what you owned now.
But no, you aren't stupid. Sleep deprived, yes. Hungry, yes. Broke, also unfortunately, yes. But not stupid.
This man must be high then. No other sane and sober and filthy rich man would propose something like that to the (broke) food chain worker during the first meeting.
You took a deep breath, reminding yourself to be calm. He is still your client and you are fighting to be this employee of the month. You can already envision your photo hanging by the cashier and feel the additional money in your bank account. You won't lose your cool now.
Instead, you plastered your best fake smile.
"I'm afraid that's not on our menu sir. Do you fancy something else?"
The man chuckled, as if you told the best and poshest joke known to mankind. Your eyebrow twitched, yet your smile didn't budget.
Calm down...he is high...let him laugh...employee of the month...additional money...!
"You're more amusing than I thought." 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝐒𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐫 𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 wiped a stray tear from his eye. "Trust me sweetie, I love how you call me 'sir' but that doesn't change the fact that my request still stays. I want you to be my sugar baby."
"I'm afraid that's not possible, sir."
"Ho ho, everything is possible." 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝐒𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐫 𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 hid his hands in the pocket of his pants. He was staring down at you, like you were the most interesting thing he saw in a long while. You began to feel uneasy and slightly curled into yourself. You didn't like how mischievous his smirk looked.
A beat of tense silence passed, before he spoke again.
"I won't back down, sweetie. You know, I've learned that when you really want something, you should fight for it till you'll achieve it. This situation is no different than a business. I provide you safety and money, while you agree to be mine and fulfill my (every) requests." He finished his speech with a smile worth a million dollars, showing off his pearly white and straight teeth.
"Sir -- "
"After all, you wouldn't want your current life to crumble, hm?" You froze when his expression became sinister and his voice lowered to the point of mocking. In your gut you began to feel dread. You knew this feeling bery well. It appears whenever you sense danger. Currently, this man in front of you was a person who you should be afraid of. One thing for sure, he wasn't lying when he said he can destroy you in a matter of one call.
Money rules the world.
"Your measly, little thing, who believes something will change. That it is just a stepping stone. But what if I make it your prison? Force you to be stuck here until you break under pressure? In the end, you'll still agree to be mine, sweetie. It depends on you if you want to suffer or not."
And destroy those who are too weak and gets crushed under its ruthless rule.
"This choice is yours." 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝐒𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐫 𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 straightened his back and only now you realized he was holding a sheet of paper. "All you have to do is to sign this..."
You knew you have no choice.
"So pick carefully, sweetie."
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All of the published posts on this account/blog belongs to @shooting-love-arrows. I do not consent to my works being: translated, stolen, published or reposted on this and other sites. Likes, reblogs, comments are highly appreaciated. Thank you.
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jester-lover · 8 months ago
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P4 Relationship Headcanons
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Authors Note/ I have read the manga up to the last English translated volume, but I’ll stick to the public school arc characterizations of them for convenience’s sake.
CW/fem! reader but otherwise no physical description , fluff, kindof accurate Victorian courting, a little angst, manga spoilers! I most definitely forgot this arc was getting animated, so I’m late, might be a little OOC, it’s been a few months since I read the manga
Edgar Redmond
Flattery was his main method of gaining your affections: descriptive poems sent to your mailbox, tulips and chocolates left on your doorstep by a mysterious admirer—a carefully held facade that fell apart when Edgar realized just how badly he wanted your affections returned.
While he has always considered himself a free spirit, capable of swiftly moving from one lover to another, he has an epiphany when he realizes he needs exclusivity with you. Edgar has found something beyond flings with you, a woman who can truly make him nervous; make his heart beat against his chest every time you bless him with a glance.
He isn’t always the most touchy lover, but he tends to take your arm in his while the two of you are out together. (He’ll do nothing more, as he doesn’t want rumors to spread around your private relationship.)
Edgar tends to fuss over you a bit, fixing your dresses, brushing his fingers over your coat, and generally keeping your appearance looking tidy; it’s an act of service that displays his affections for you.
Lawrence Bluewer
When I say all of his sisters gang up on him to tease him about his crush on you, I mean it. Lawrence tried his best to keep his love for you a secret, but his yearning glances over his glasses reveal his truth. They encourage him to speak to you, giving him advice about what women like. (Trust me, he needs it.)
Lawrence is a very dedicated man, particularly when it comes to you. He holds up all of the important customs of an exemplary Victorian man and treats you as an equal in all matters.
He’s adamant on listening to your opinion on matters involving the two of you, but he’ll also ask for your opinions on issues in his home and dorm. Your opinion is important to him.
Lawrence is a very intelligent young man; if you ever find yourself struggling with your schoolwork or a matter of principle in your personal life, he’ll help out to the best of his ability.
Call him by any affectionate nickname, and that carefully held stoicism crumbles before you, and a red tint suddenly appears on his pale face. The only time he ever broke his own rules was after the cricket match, when he embraced you tightly in the stands after winning, so much more proud of his victory now that you had seen it.
Herman Greenhill
It feels as if someone has struck him in the heart each time he lays his eyes on you. He can feel the warmth of his skin and the sweating of his palms each time he tries to talk to you without stumbling through his words. Herman is so utterly rigid and awkward around you, it’s completely obvious he’s head over heels.
He’s often flustered around you, even when you’re already courting, as one of his ideals of chivalry and respect is treating ladies kindly. He acts like a strict old man and a shy schoolboy at the same time, wanting your touch so desperately but bashing himself for it.
You will probably have to enact most of the affection between the two of you, sneaking kisses when your chaperone turns away, holding his hand when you walk into a more private corridor of his residence, and cheering loudly at his games. The easiest way to get a reaction from Herman is by showing off your stockings; he’s a sucker for good hosiery.
Despite his proud and sort of arrogant personality, Herman is a shy and careful lover; he remembers all of your favorites and special days, and he loves receiving your praise. Whenever he achieves something, he immediately looks to you, waiting to see what you make of him.
Gregory Violet
You wouldn’t even know of his existence when he first saw you, but he was always there, with a thick black sketchbook filled with drawings of you, going about your daily routine and interacting with others in a way he only wished he could. The sheer amount of yearning he does could put the poets to shame.
You are his muse; even when Gregory is creating something completely irrelevant to you, he’ll remember you; you are so infused with everything he makes. Because he has put you on this goddess-like pedestal, he doesn’t think he deserves you, which is why he’s so surprised when you agree to court him.
Gregory’s affection comes in bursts; some days he’ll be too nervous to look you in the eye, but other times he’s practically joined at your hip. He’s not the most talkative lover, but when his eyes flit through you, examining you closely with a blush stretched across his features, he appreciates you like you are art.
He plays the role of the gentleman in public, keeping his respectful distance, but he often seeks your comfort in the few moments you can sneak alone, laying his head on your lap as you brush through his two-toned hair and rambling uncharacteristically about the struggles of his role. He’s a non-conformist, and he often wished the society you lived in wasn’t so strict, so that you and him could act as wild and free as you did in the leather binding of his sketchbook.
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pupkashi · 10 months ago
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satoru loves yapping [to you]
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satoru was always chatty, shoko could definitely attest to that statement, subjected to too many conversations she definitely did not care about.
“isn’t it hotter than usual? i swear last year it was colder around this time of year-” he began, continuing to talk as shoko tried to focus instead on healing an injured itadori in front of her.
it seemed that his chatty characteristic only amplified when you were around, his eyes would visibly brighten, practically gleaming when you appeared in his eyesight.
“sweetheart! how are you? staying cold in this heat?” you can help but smile at him, walking straight into his already outstretched arms and squeezing his waist a bit, pressing a soft peck to his cheek before pulling away.
“heat? it feels so good out today!” you sigh happily, waving yellow to shoko and itadori, “it is hotter than last year though I’ll tell you that,” satoru grins at your words, turning to shoko with a flint in his eyes before turning back to you.
“that’s what I said! global warming is getting too severe-” the two of you walking out hand in hand, the taller man still talking as you listened intently.
satoru never felt the need to be quiet around you, always finding things to talk about no matter the task or the hour.
“and so you would think that since they were doing so bad they would think of making changes right?” you nod along, humming so he knows you’re listening, “but no! they keep going with same stupid strategy and it’s so frustrating as a fan to see, i just want him to achieve his dreams,” he sighs sadly.
“can you pass the salt?” you ask, taking it from his much larger hand, thanking him before speaking up again, “why does he keep resigning if they always treat him so poorly?” you ask, satoru smiles, heart warming at the fact that you really do pay attention to him.
“he’s always wanted to win with Ferrari- let me take you back to the beginning” he begins, giving you a summary of charles leclerc’s life as you finish cooking dinner.
you could always tell when he got a bit insecure of how talkative he was, but you’d always smile at him, urging him to go on. “and then what? why’d you stop talking?” you’d say, making him smile widely before quietly starting again.
“I’m listening, angel boy,” you mumble in between dreams, listening to him talk about how orange juice isn’t the same as it was when he was growing up and how the new game he downloaded was more complicated than it seems.
it could be nearing 2 in the morning but you wouldn’t mind, satoru would be discussing how and why wombats have cube shaped poops and how koalas eat eucalyptus and pandas have half a brain cell they don’t bother to use.
“it has no real nutritional value and that’s why they have to eat so much of it,” he mumbles, eyes drooping as he cuddles closer to you.
“aren’t they made to digest meat?” you whisper, head tucked into the crook of his neck, your breath running a chill down his spine.
“think so, dunno” he mumbles back, breathing evening out before he’s fully asleep.
your eyes open slowly as you crane your neck, his pink lips slightly parted as he takes soft breaths, snowy hair pointing every which way.
you can’t help but smile at your lover.
“goodnight pretty boy” you whisper, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, “my little yapper,” you chuckle to yourself, already looking forward to what he’d talk about tomorrow.
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masterlist
a/n: hi friends ! just a quick little something i put together bc i miss satoru so bad lately </3 he’s def a yapper and i want to hear him talk all day and night
taglist (send an ask to be added!): @chilichopsticks @anime-for-the-sleepless @safaia-47 @nanamikentoseyebags @fushironi @nineooooo @the-mom-friend-dot-com @gojoshooter @sat6ru @beautiful-is-boring @sweetheart-satoru @luna0713hunter @torusmochi
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starrywilliams · 7 months ago
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guilty as sin? | abby anderson
“these fatal fantasies giving way to labored breath, taking all of me, we’ve already done it in my head”
warnings: masturbation, slight masochism, ruined orgasm, angst, perv!abby (a little), internalized homophobia (discussed in more detail below)
notes: no surprise my favourite ttpd song is the gayest one on the album, but guilty as sin? screams lesbian guilt i fear!!!! i’ve been writing this for over a month so i hope u guys like it 😭
cw: discussion of lesbian guilt & comphet - these are somewhat based on my own experiences with my sexuality and i absolutely!!! do not think a man can ‘cure’ a lesbian or anything similar to that. nor do i believe anyone should ever feel guilty for being gay. realising i’m a lesbian has been extremely freeing & dykes r the best x
wc: 1.8k
likes, comments + reblogs are greatly appreciated :)
the door slammed harshly behind abby as she stormed into her room. she pulled her jacket off desperately; her skin hot under its tight vice. she’d been in the gym, trying to work out her endless frustration of late, when you’d walked in.
you’d only said “hi" and smiled politely at her before setting your things down. but she felt her stomach churn, a black hole opening inside her. abby stood up, pulling the weights off the barbell and onto their rack. she grunted softly, glancing at you from the corner of her eye.
you’d started stretching, currently bent over as you touched your toes. her eyes drifted for an infinitesimal moment, locking onto the swell of your-. she looked away - wrongwrongwrong.
but then she looked back, her stare feasting on your body. she wondered whether you were doing this on purpose, trying to tempt her from across the room. she wondered if you knew her dirty little secret, abby picturing a smirk on your face as you mocked her for such indecent thoughts.
she didn’t want to feel this way. she didn’t want to feel the poison ivy swarming around her chest, getting tighter, tighter. the rash spread inside her; this invisible whip of lust lashing against her skin whenever your face appeared in her mind. well, had it been just your face maybe she wouldn’t feel like some depraved sinner.
now it wasn’t like abby believed in god, in a world where death and destruction infect every crevice you’d have to be mad to believe that any ‘god’ wanted its followers to suffer so greatly. but something inside her screamed every time she had these thoughts. these impure, twisted thoughts about you.
she didn’t know what made her feel like this. what made her resent you for simply existing; and what made her resent herself.
she recalled her teenage years, when manny had subtly suggested that owen liked her - so she was supposed to like him back, right? and she tried! she loved him even - but there was always that something, that feeling in her gut that told her that something was wrong, something about him that just would never sit right with her.
but all the other girls wanted a boyfriend too, and the jealousy was nice at first - she’d thought. after all, mel was the star student, a doctor in the making, her dad’s favourite; and nora was this freshly trained medical officer, and abby was- abby was just abby.
her dad began noticing her more too - previously too preoccupied with his firefly duties and his favourite student. now his little girl was slipping away from him, he finally began paying her the amount of attention she’d craved for so long.
before, their conversations had often drifted into talk of mel and her new achievements, or his hopes of a vaccine, or some animal he was tracking. never anything about his daughter’s life.
having a boyfriend made her interesting, it gave the other girls something to envy. which was a nice reversal, for a while. then her dad died, and she had become this object of pity. owen helped a bit, she supposed. he tried to distract her and keep her focused on their new role as soldiers, but she barely cared about him anymore. all she wanted was revenge, and with revenge, came you.
you were one of the gyms trainers, passionate about helping the members of the wlf stay fit and healthy! you’d helped her start lifting weights, squealed as she reached every milestone, and had remarked jokingly about just how much you loved her new physique.
it was innocent at first, the most being her brain going a little fuzzy when you’d bit your lip while spotting her; a slight blush when you’d hugged her a little too tight. then, once she and owen were finally broken up, these new pictures began hanging themselves on the walls of her mind. still, innocent, just slightly tainted with desire - the true nature of them still an avoidable matter for her back then.
when she could ignore the truth in her recent behaviour, abby loved spending time with you. after all, you were just really good friends! anyway, she’d had a boyfriend before so everyone knew she was normal, and absolutely not different, and she would never ever have to feel like an outsider.
yet it took a mere three months before she gave up on this foolish lie. she liked you, and as long as nobody ever found out, it wouldn’t matter.
but as her mind grew dark and twisted - joel a constant topic in her head as she obsessed over finally getting to enact revenge - her thoughts got worse in turn. she wanted you - filthily and desperately.
every gym session ended with another cold shower, a desperate plea for her body to stop and let her focus on the task at hand; a hopeless attempt to bury this ache into the ground; an endless endeavour to escape these urges for just one second.
but then she came back changed, every hair on her body endlessly erected with guilt. the way she’d killed him so mercilessly, the way it had done nothing to ease the pain, and the way you had tormented her mind ceaselessly throughout the entire trip.
maybe, had she never met you, she could’ve just killed him and been satisfied. maybe had you never offered to train her personally, she could’ve just stayed comfortable in that stuffy closet. maybe if she found the right man she’d stop feeling this way.
abby deemed such ideas unfathomable now.
owen made her feel nothing. being with him was like an eternal thursday, an endless wait for the week’s end and its pleasure to turn up at her door. every day she’d wait for some spark to arrive, the routine only becoming more and more tedious by the minute. but he helped her get people’s attention, which was enough when she was just abby.
but then she was abby anderson, top scar killer and isaac’s favourite. she got attention on her own, she was praised for her own accomplishments: people worshipped the fucking ground she walked on. but they didn’t know who she really was.
they didn’t know she liked girls the way she was supposed to like boys. she’d seen it in enough of those wlf movie nights - cruel jokes about anyone who even thought about being different. she’d heard the way people gossiped, “did you hear that they’re moving lesbians into the family unit? what a joke.”
they said it like it was something dirty, something egregious, something that she had to hate about herself. so she did.
but as long as she kept it secret, kept it locked away in her mind, maybe she’d be okay. after all, only your actions talk: it was the age old question really, if a tree falls in a forest and no one else hears it, does it make a sound?
abby fell back against her bed sheets, calloused hands pushing her cargos down to her ankles as she replayed the sight of you in her mind. bent over - she felt like you were trying to tempt her on purpose.
she felt like a heathen; staring, fantasizing, worshipping. her mind was bursting with the idea of every possible position she could put you in; head a chorus of every little noise she wanted to hear you make; eyes screwed shut as depravity filled her every sense.
she shoved her bralette up her chest roughly, fingertips dragging over her nipples with little mercy. she pinched them, the peach skin stinging underneath her touch.
she wanted it to hurt; wanted it to feel like some sort of punishment for her thoughts. but as her hips bucked into the air, a long whine dragging from her clenched jaw, she realised it needed to hurt more.
she imagined you, finding her like this. disgust burnt into your features - what the fuck was she doing? repeating your name like some subverted prayer, fingers harshly scratching along her stomach as she tried to make the pleasure feel more like pain, trying to induce some connection between the two.
if it hurt enough, would she stop? force herself to forget? could she torture this part of herself until it surrendered?
her hand slipped over the top of her boxers, a finger running tentatively over her clit through the now darkened fabric. she bit down on her lip, groaning against it as she pushed down harder and harder, attempting to break through the skin.
another finger pressed down, beginning to draw circles down on the throbbing bud. she jolted against her own touch, your head between her legs burning into her mind. your hands, trailing along her flesh - groping at her with little tenderness; tongue, swiping at her pussy with no intent of fulfillment: she wanted you to make her weep, smoke out her lungs with shame, deny her from gratification until all she could feel was regret.
she pulled away, only to cover her fingertips with her spit - diving under her boxers to continue with her corruption. abby let out a strangled sigh, hips grinding against her fingers as they toyed with her clit.
she moved a hand to her hair, knuckles stretching against her scalp as she began to pull her braid. she grunted, yanking even harder. she whispered your name: pained, hopeless.
she sped up her assault against her pussy, feeling that pit in the bottom of her stomach begin to grow. “pleasepleaseplease” her voice cracked as she begged, unsure what she was pleading for.
she wanted to stop, but she needed to try and make this feeling go away. she knew it would come back, it always did - but even five minutes free from your torment on her mind might save her.
her fingers kept going, drawing desperate circles against her weeping pussy relentlessly. the void was growing, almost consuming her entirely at this point. she thought of you laughing at her current state: a crying mess, pussy wet with perversion.
it was sick, really - how the idea of you hating her for this made her need even worse. you’d probably think it appalling: someone who was supposed to be your friend, now sat here burning at the thought of you.
a part of her wished that you shared this sickness. that you too let yourself be overwhelmed by the thought of sin. maybe you didn’t let the guilt swallow you whole - she hoped so.
but there was no point lingering in the what-ifs, they were far too fleeting.
her deft fingers quickened their pace, the ache all consuming. the climb began - a desperate jump towards oblivion. closer, closer. the flames scorched her bedsheets as her breathing hastened.
fuck, she hissed before reaching the apex with a scream of your name. a scream? a whisper? a thought? it didn’t make her actions any less deplorable.
her conscience grabbed pleasure by the throat as she ripped her fingers away, putting out the blaze on her hips like a cigarette crushed on the ground.
the desire imploded within the walls of her torso; scratching against her insides in the vengeance of her denial.
it was wrong; she had to stop it. yet still, the guilt poured into her lungs with no chance of resolve. she was a fool for thinking it would fix her. maybe next time it would work. maybe next time the exorcism would finally purify her.
until next time.
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lime-bloods · 6 months ago
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I honestly didn't ever expect that I'd be in the position where I'd be using this blog not just to analyse what has come before in Homestuck, but to look toward the comic's future and do some real old-fashioned theorycrafting. but the time has come. so here goes; lime-bloods' Beyond Canon theories as of the July 6th 2024 update:
Vriska's Going to Hell
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were all gonna help you! / whether you like it or not
a select few eagle-eyed readers already noticed that the sound used in last month's (Vriska: Figure shit out yourself.) is called "hell_tierwav". while it was easy to dismiss this as irrelevant composer shenanigans at the time, it's now become clear exactly what this was foreshadowing. whether it would be more apt to call this "Hell" or "Purrgatory" is probably up for debate - but whatever you call it, Vriska's been placed in a dimension seemingly tailored specifically for her personal torment.
while Vriska characteristically interprets the recreation of her childhood home as a symbol of how badass she was, the ghosts of her past - both literal, as the shades of the trolls she killed as Mindfang, and figurative, in the form of sprites wearing the faces of her dead friends - show us in no uncertain terms that Vriska's childhood home is the stage where traumas play out.
Erisolsprite puts it succinctly with his welcome to hell, but pay close attention to what exactly we're being welcomed to: this update ends on page 665. so as of this next update, we'll be starting on page 666.
Does Homestuck Have Hell?
the exact bubble of reality Vriska's currently found herself in seems to be an entirely new construction of the likes we've not yet seen in Homestuck - but that doesn't mean this kind of cosmic torment is without precedent. because while 666 is a number with Satanic connotations in the broader cultural context, it also has a very particular meaning of its own within the world of Homestuck. indeed, the latter half of the comic almost revolves around it, culminating in a climax in Act 6 Act 6 Act 6.
specifically, this repetition of a single digit is emblematic of recursive storytelling. to summarise what you can already read about in detail in my essay The World / The Wheel: when Caliborn is 'gifted' the Act 6 Act 6 supercartridge, which he is told is an "expansion" of Homestuck, it's a trick. there is no "expansion"; he's going to be trapped in a story that never ends because it keeps dividing into smaller and smaller versions of itself forever. the only way to truly beat the devil who trapped the heroes within a story is to trap him in his own story.
that's what Caliborn's "Hell" is, and that's also exactly what the Alternate Calliope achieved in Act 7 by creating the black hole which Vriska knocked Lord English into, ending Homestuck's story - something that Calliope even hints at in this very update, when she refers to the black hole as "containment"; not an accident, but a deliberately crafted prison. black holes are a symbol of recursion and regression; being sucked into one means being forced to live out your whole life over and over again, forever. so really, this is all we ever could have expected to happen when Vriska stepped into a black hole within a black hole! the presentation of the narrative even subtly hints at this; events in Beyond Canon that take place in the black hole are enclosed (in brackets), and now events that take place in a black hole-within-a-black-hole are contained within {curly brackets}, because you should always use a different kind of brackets to differentiate nested parenthesis from each other!
it is absolutely no coincidence that when Caliborn closes the curtains on his appearances in Homestuck, thinking he's won when really he's been condemned to a hell of his own making forever more, it's with a tribute to this exact same Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff strip.
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IF YOU REMEMBER JUST ONE THING I SAY, OF SO MANY GREAT THINGS SAID BY ME, THEN PLEASE REMEMBER THIS. I WANTED TO PLAY A GAME.
So What Does That Mean?
one of Beyond Canon's central missions is expanding upon Homestuck's exploration of the relationships between author, text, and audience. as discussed above, a large part of Homestuck's thesis is the evil of forcing characters to live the same lives and the same stories over and over without the chance to grow or move on, and Beyond Canon picks up on this by placing Dirk in the position of trying to keep Homestuck going forever purely to appease its fans, while the Alternate Calliope continues to oppose this ideology. and while the alpha Calliope outwardly seems not to have taken a hard position on where she stands in this cosmic battle, the question posed by her device seems to be an entirely new one: can it actually be a good thing to regress, to return to ground that the story has already covered? can this path lead to something new, rather than merely stagnation?
it's so relevant that Vriska is being confronted with the crimes of her past, not only in the form of all the trolls she was personally responsible for killing but also in the form of the exact same punishment she condemned Lord English to with her heroism - complete with the herd of horses that are always present at Caliborn's demise! but where being condemned to an eternal cycle was fitting punishment for Caliborn, someone who refuses to break free of cycles of abuse and instead chooses to enact that same abuse on the world around him... if Vriska is someone who can break free of these cycles, who can change and become a better person despite what happened to her, will this punishment have the same effect? or, as Davepeta seems to believe, is forcing Vriska to reckon with her own past and traumas exactly what will allow her to break free of that cycle?
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DAVE: [...] ill just be over here in the hyper gravity chamber training to beat lord english KARKAT: WE HAVE A HYPER GRAVITY CHAMBER???
it's hard not to be struck by the parallels in design and purpose between the Plot Point and Dragon Ball's Hyperbolic Time Chamber, and not just because of the Dragon Ball enthusiasts present on Beyond Canon's writing and art teams: albeit in typically Strider-bastardised form, the Time Chamber got a shoutout in Andrew Hussie's own Homestuck (see quote above), in a reference that was even picked up on by prolific theorist bladekindeyewear at the time. for the uninitiated: the Hyperbolic Time Chamber allowed its users to train for extended stretches of time, sometimes even spanning years, while a significantly smaller time period passed in the world outside - something that is actually true of real-life black holes! and with the Plot Point's own emphasis on time, represented by the hourglass included among its mechanisms, it seems to me that an essential part of making the 16-year-old Vriska ready for the trials ahead will be giving her the time to undergo the same growth her adult friends have experienced.
considering that Beyond Canon is already playing in the Ultimate Self space, where there are levels of power beyond merely the "god tiers", it also doesn't seem too farfetched to speculate that Vriska, forced to reckon with the fact that becoming a powerful Thief of Light isn't the be-all and end-all of personal growth, will take another leaf out of Dragon Ball's book here and ascend "beyond Super Saiyan". perhaps this is even the "hell tier" so cheekily alluded to in the Plot Point flash? certainly this kind of evolution would be the perfect way to challenge Dirk's belief that the Ultimate Self is the only logical final step for a character's development.
whatever the case, I believe we can take Davepeta at their word here. I don't think it's just a joke that by the end of this ordeal Vriska Serket is going to be fucking RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPED!
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bwat5-blog · 16 days ago
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Vi's Ending
**Spoilers for all of Arcane**
I have written about and discussed Vi in significant detail. However it was pointed out to me recently that her ending is worth its own detailed discussion and I completely agree. For those who have been sticking with me on these, you already know Vi is my favorite character. She means a lot to me, as she does to many of you for various reasons. So before we dive in let me say this:
Vi is NOT the Jinx
Vi is NOT a bad sister
Vi did NOT get Jinx killed
I have written in great detail defending and explaining each of these points, and because of that I will not detail those here. But if you are interested I'd love for you to check out my other posts and share your thoughts! Ultimately I am just another fan, and I am really enjoying celebrating the achievement in story telling this show has become, and its legendary characters.
The End:
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At the end of this story, we find Violet, sitting alone, drinking, humming powder's song from the very first moments of the show. She appears deeply in thought and is curled up on herself, only opening up when her beloved Caitlyn joins her. They share a tender moment where Caitlyn asks her if she is still in this fight, to which Vi responds "I am the dirt under your nails cupcake, nothings gonna clean me out" and lays her head on Caitlyn's shoulder allowing herself to relax as Caitlyn smiles softly looking into the fire. This seems to be our last look at the couple outside of the game if Riot is to be believed (money talks people, keep these characters popular and they may listen!), and it has understandably sparked reactions across the board. For myself, I found it bittersweet. Beautiful and hopeful in many ways, but recognizing the weight of what they have survived, and validating the healing they still need. I view it as Vi finally being on the road to peace, just not quite there yet.
The Heart of Zaun:
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I have extensively detailed who Vi is in other posts and therefore will spare you the diatribe here. But to properly appreciate and understand why her ending was so meaningful we do have to understand who she is.
"You've got a good heart. Don't ever lose it, no matter how the world tries to break you"- Vander
Vi is not perfect. She impatient, quick to anger, stubborn beyond belief and impulsive. But these are things born of the dark and angry world she has been forced to survive in all her life. At her core, who is she really?
A Daughter
A Sister
A Warrior
A Guardian
What Vi proves time and time again throughout this story is that she is fiercely loyal, loving, and true. She is tough as nails and brave sure. But we also get these beautiful moments of fragility. Moments where her love, her fear and her hope bleed through the mask she keeps up showing us who she is beneath. Other lessons from Vander plays a major role in who she becomes as well:
"When people look up to you, you don't get to be selfish"
"Who are you willing to lose?"
-- Vander
Vi was already trying to care for the kids around her, and had at a young age been through so much trauma and loss. But as any teenager would, she still displayed a lack of understanding about the potential broader consequences of their actions. After her talks with Vander, almost every decision she makes she is trying to protect those she loves, or trying to atone when she feels she has fallen short. Her own happiness becomes her last priority in almost every situation. And her journey to overcome this, to learn that its okay for her to know tenderness, and peace, and love and that those things don't make her unworthy. This is Vi's inner journey.
She deserves the things she fights so hard to give the people she loves. I meant to re-blog it and hope I did, but another user pointed out something I have never considered. When she and Vander are talking on the bridge, and he gives here these lessons, what does she say is the reason she wants to fight? - that she grew up knowing she was less than, but she wants more for her little sister and will bleed to do it. Even at that young age, before experiencing so much of the pain she goes through, she doesn't see herself as deserving of that same defense as everyone else in her life... She believes is meant to be the shield, and never the shielded.. An inspiring and heroic notion on paper, heartbreaking to recognize in a teenage girl who is only just beginning in life.
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Back To The End:
Okay, with that refresher lets return to Vi's ending. We see this beautiful, tender moment between Vi and the woman she loves. And sure, on the surface of the moment alone it appears your standard happy ending. Safe, warm, and in the company of the woman she loves. These are all undoubtedly good things. But context matters. No decision in this show, no plot point, no animation, no detail is accidental. So we need to account for the following factors:
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They have just survived a truly terrifying battle which no matter the result in terms of life and death ,would be deeply traumatizing
She and the woman she loves have made it through together its true (thank god). On a purely physical level, Caitlyn's heroic willingness to sacrifice a part of her own body to achieve victory has left her forever changed. And Vi's body has become a tapestry of scars from a life time of sacrifice and struggle
Caitlyn and Vi's reconciliation is a controversial topic in the fandom. I feel that it was justified in terms of us being given the necessary pieces to believe it, but rushed (the whole season was). Like if I asked a student to show me his work on a math equation, he got the correct answer, but he could only show me the beginning of each step he took to solve it. Correct, but incomplete. All of that to say this, their scene in the jail cell was beautiful, and it was full of meaning far more than the spicy quality (although god damn who are we kidding), but we are talking about months of time apart, with both of them living through an extremely dark period, all precipitated by an extremely traumatic "breakup". I don't think it's unreasonable to assume they have more to work through and heal from regarding this issue, although thankfully their love for each other remains strong.
The death toll of this battle is seemingly enormous although we are not given an exact number. The impact of this is obvious. And although I agree his character was not perfectly utilized, I saw Loris as the face of the countless faceless citizens of Piltover and Zaun who died in this conflict. His death right in front of Vi happening so quickly, and brutally.
Vander.. Vi had to watch her adopted father die not once, not twice, but three times. The first time after saving her life, the second time after they seemed so close to saving his, and the third time with him very nearly killing her. I'm not a mental health professional but I don't think I need to be in order to suggest this may leave lasting emotional and mental scars on her
Jinx. Vi's crusade for her sister's soul begins the moment she steps out of Stillwater with Caitlyn. The relationship between Vi and Jinx is far too complex and detailed to cover in a bullet point like this, and is one of the pillars upon which this show came to be. I'm not getting into fault or blame or any of that right now, because what it comes down to is this. Vi loves Jinx and fought so.. so hard to BE her sister again. And finally, right at the end when it seems like they are finally going to be okay, she loses Jinx. again (not dead but Vi doesn't know that). And why? because Vi breaks at the sight at the sight of Vander's body and Jinx sacrifices herself to save her. Vi's breakdown is heartbreaking. It its understandable, its realistic, its painful and its human.. But after a life time punishing herself for how she feels she failed her sister.. it hurts to admit the truth that as things stand now, Vi will probably carry the guilt of Jinx's death for the rest of her life.
I know that is all so bleak, and so heavy. And it hurts because you want to see Vi happy. We want to see her and Jinx living as sisters catching up on the time that was stolen from them. We want to see a world where she and Caitlyn are energetic and happy and healed. We want to see Vi in some way acknowledge that in the end, Jinx's sacrifice was not because Vi failed her. It was because Jinx saw that her sister who had always loved and believed in her, needed her this time. That the woman who had always stood for those she loved needed someone to stand for her. So Jinx became the shield Vi never believed she deserved.
That Vi is a bad-ass is never in dispute. We see her fight countless times in defense of those she loves, and do so quite well. Her journey is not to find her strength. It is to recognize that she is worth more than that. She deserves more. And our hope for her is born of the changes we see. As her relationship with Caitlyn evolves, and she sees her belief in her sister finally validated, She comes to understand she has more to offer than the strength of her arms.
Her relationship with Caitlyn: Their love story is so amazing, and complex, and layered. It is far too much to cover as a bullet point in another post like this and I do intend to deep-dive it soon. But in terms of this discussion, I want to stay this. That Vi and Caitlyn have their ups and downs is obvious. Its not that every moment of their time together is an unending parade of joy and romance, that would be not only bad story telling but not realistic. But the best romantic partners are those people who can fall into the flames together and walk out not untouched, but re-forged into something stronger. These two women are a great example of this. There are many important moments in their relationship that greatly effect Vi, but I am going to focus on just one:
Caitlyn Finds Vi in Jinx's Cell:
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As I mentioned previously, this scene is so important for so many reasons. For our purposes, we need to remember what leads up to it. Vi immediately goes to rescue Jinx after confronting Caitlyn over her imprisonment, only for Jinx to stun her and leave her in the cell herself (there is so much context and meaning here in terms of Jinx and Vi/Jinx but we are focusing on Caitlyn right now). Then Caitlyn finds her. Alone. In the cell of the woman who killed her mother. Now there are a lot of ways this could go and Vi is clearly expecting the worst. She laments that she always chooses wrong trusting and believing in Jinx, and that this time its cost her everything. Her sister is gone. She assumes Caitlyn will be enraged, and not to mention she is in this incredibly vulnerable state, in a jail cell, after surviving seven years of false imprisonment that started when she was still in her teens. But it doesn't go how she expects.
"Sorry to say, you've grown a bit predictable"
Vi believes that this part of her, this emotional, trusting, vulnerable part of her is always wrong. But Caitlyn reveals just how much she knows that part of Vi. And not only knows, but accepts it, predicted it, and even stepped in to help the woman she loves, putting aside her own hate and bitterness. Its a powerful moment. It shows Vi just how much she is worth to Caitlyn, and it has nothing to do with her fists. Just her heart. And Vi's response to this revelation shows us maybe the first time in the entire story, where given this tiny seed of evidence that she may deserve to be happy, she chooses to let herself be. Right there in that cell with Caitlyn.
Her Relationship With Jinx:
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Like Caitlyn, this relationship could only be explored properly through it's own deep dive. So again, I am going to focus on a single moment between these two as evidence of Vi hard earned affirmation of her refusal to quit on those she loves. When Vi goes to break Jinx out of jail, Jinx stuns her and escapes instead, leaving her locked inside. As Vi panics for her sister, Jinx walks away, pleading with Vi to let herself be happy, and to stop looking for her. This of course leads to the incident we just mentioned in which Vi claims she always chooses wrong in trusting her sister. "I really thought she'd help" Vi says to Caitlyn about her sister when Cait arrives. And how does her belief in her sister shake out? Jinx rides in on a war balloon at the head of an under city army, and saves the day... and then later on, saves Vi's very life at what seems to be (We know better) the expense of her own. Vi was right about her sister all along.. its just that some lessons are hard won indeed..
Conclusion:
Vi is an amazing character who has quite frankly, earned her rest. And that's what the end of the show is sharing with us. Vi is warrior. She has fought, and bled, and lost so much, but she has endured. Through her two most important relationships in her life she has found the road to the recovery from the many, many wounds her existence has left on her, and they are still wounds that need healing. There is grief, and pain, and guilt still dwelling in her. But we have seen the seeds of her self-worth beginning to bloom and it is in them that we place our hope for Vi. Because she has an inkling that what Vander told her, the same thing the woman she loves noticed within hours of of meeting her, and the same reason Jinx knew Vi would never give up on her, has always been a far greater power than her ability to do violence.
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pjsfvs · 11 months ago
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relaxing - sunghoon hc
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paring: bf!sunghoon x gf!afab!reader
genre: smut
warnings: smut, fluff, smoking weed, true love, curvy reader, Protected sex, fingering, hair pulling, shot gunning
word count: 4k
summary: You and Sunghoon spend a rainy weekend in his basement smoking and relaxing to the sound of the rain, which leads to a night of high love making.
a/n: i got some requests in my inbox but i was already writing this so ill write for those and post them either later today or tomorrow because i wont have plans :3 also sunghoon is my bias but ive never wrote something for him which is shocking 😭
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The sound of the rain was what set the mood, the millions of drops pattering against the high windows of Sunghoon's basement sounding through the atmosphere. You laid on your back against the soft cushions of the couch, your eyes closed in a peaceful state as you waited patiently for your boyfriend.
"Alright, babe, we've got weed, video games, and movies; what do you want to do?" Sunghoon spoke cheerfully, closing the basement door behind him as he bounded down the wooden stairs.
"Hm, how about we go for a walk?" Giggling, your body bounced lightly as Sunghoon sat on the opposite end of the couch, lifting your sock clad feet onto his lap.
"Yeah, and catch a cold while we're at it too," He chuckled, rubbing your calf before taking in your appearance. 
You were dressed in a simple pair of grey leggings, which make your ass look great, and a worn v-cut graphic-tee with the Pepsi logo across the chest. Even when you dressed so simple, you were the most beautiful girl he had ever seen and he often wondered what he did to have someone so wonderful, other than Jake, in his life.
You opened your dazzling brown eyes, locking your gaze with his. "Why are you looking at me like that, silly?" You giggled, sticking your tongue out as you propped your head on a couch pillow.
"Just thinking about of amazing you are, dork." He countered, squeezing your leg lovingly as he watched your cheeks get a little warm.
"Gosh, you're too much for me," You sighed, covering your face with your hands before peeking out between your fingers, "Let's get high."
Sunghoon smiled, taking his signature white headphones from around his neck and placing them on the coffee table on front of them. "Shot gunning?"
"Shot gunning."
Shot gunning was your preferred way of getting high, ever since meeting Sunghoon that is. The first time you had tried weed, which actually was with Sunghoon, you inhaled too hard and ended up choking on your own breath. Sunghoon insisted that you didn't have to smoke just because he did it, but you insisted on trying it which led to him teaching you a different way of achieving the high without having to touch the blunt herself.
Once everything was set up Sunghoon took the blunt between his finger and thumb before striking the lighter in his other hand, bringing the small flame to the tip and watching it light up. He put the lighter away and took the first hit, breathing deeply and closing his eyes before exhaling, the smoke bellowing out of his parted lips and nose. A few seconds passed before he opened his eyes again, turning his head towards you.
"Ready?"
He watched as you bit your lower lip and nodded, sitting yourself up on the couch before kneeling next to him, their faces level with each other as your eyes stayed locked.
"I need to hear you say you're ready, beautiful."
You felt your face heat up and your heart swell, you always loved how caring he was about making sure you weren't feeling pressured. "I'm ready, Hoonie."
A small smile graced his lips before he brought the blunt up again, taking another slow drag and putting the blunt down, holding his breath. You parted your plump lips and Sunghoon did the same before blowing the smoke into your mouth. The smoke filled your lungs as you breathed in slowly, letting your eyes flutter shut before exhaling the same way, feeling your nerves begin to calm. As you opened your eyes your gaze locked with Sunghoon, who had a goofy smirk on his face.
"I never get tired of seeing that." He grinned, his heart nearly skipping a beat at the half-lidded stare you were giving him. The glow of the various lava lamps he had in the basement illuminated your face in a way that made it seem like you belonged in a pin-up poster, too perfect to be sitting in front of him right now.
"I never get tired of being shot gunned by you." You wistfully replied, a small smile tugging at your lips before another wave of heat rose to your cheeks. "Do you mind if I try something?" Your voice came out small, your gaze averting to the floor as you processed what you were going to do.
"Yeah- I mean, no, go for it," Sunghoon stuttered slightly, an embarrassed smile taking over the proud grin he had.
At his approval, you maneuvered your leg across his thighs before kneeling in front of him, straddling his waist as you sat in his lap. The new, and better, position allowed them both to be able to face each other without having to break their necks to face each other or Sunghoon to turn away to flick the ashes off.
"I-I just thought this would be easier," You spoke lightly, your hands picking nervously at each other in your lap. Sure, you had been dating for nearly a year, but that didn't stop your nerves from spiking each time you went out on a limb.
Sunghoon felt his cheeks set themselves on fire at the new position, having so much more to worry about than getting a cramp in his neck or side. "Y-Yeah, no, this is great, way better than before, actually." He smiled softly, his left hand resting on your hip lovingly as comfort.
After taking a moment to settle themselves, they began the process again; Sunghoon breathing in the smoke before blowing it into your mouth, allowing you to take in the high as well. He watched as you tilted your head back, sighing the smoke out into the air above them to avoid blowing it back into Sunghoon's face.
Sunghoon tracked your movement, his eyes trailing along your neck, taking in your smooth skin, before delving lower into what the cut of your t-shirt allowed him to see. He took in the details of your collarbones, just slightly protruding out, and the view of your breasts, which were slightly elevated due to the bra you wore. He wouldn't consider himself a person who gets horny while high, but with the view that was given to him in this very moment he could make an exception.
Thus, the process continued, rotating until the blunt was nothing but ash, leaving you and Sunghoon in a haze of smoke and lust as they grew closer to each other; you sat comfortably in Sunghoon's lap as he held onto your hips, his hands casually gripping your curves. Your foreheads rested on each-others, your noses slightly bumping as you relished in the high together, needing nothing but each other and the constant downpour of the rain.
"Sunghoon..." You breathed, your eyes staying closed as you played with the hairs at the nape of his neck lovingly.
Sunghoon hummed, not feeling the need to use words as he steadily continued to trace patterns on your skin.
"Can I wear your hoodie?" Your voice was small and calm as you placed your hands on his shoulders, lifting your head back to open your eyes.
Sunghoon felt his eyebrows furrow as he opened his eyes, meeting his girlfriend's blown-wide pupils. "Are you sure you won't get too hot?" He mused, stilling his thumbs against your sides.
You huffed lightly, a cute pout on your lips, "It's always pretty cold in here, besides; I'll just take off my shirt, see?" As if to prove your point, or rather claim, you reached for the hem of your shirt and swiftly pulled it over your head, dropping it to the floor behind you, leaving you in a simple black bra, goosebumps immediately rising against your skin from the change in temperature.
Sunghoon felt a stir in his lower stomach, his eyes quickly flicking to your breasts that rested in the cups of your bra, your chest moving in tune with the breaths you were taking. "Y-You didn't have to, you know?" He gaped, scanning over the new flesh that lacked all the marks he now wanted to make.
"I know," You smirked, bringing your face to his ear, "I could feel that you've been staring for a while now, I just wanted to give you a better view." You murmured seductively before nibbling at his earlobe, causing his grip to tighten on your hips with a gasp.
"In that case you're gonna have to help me now." Sunghoon moaned, his hips lifting slightly to rub against your core easily through your leggings.
Your movements were slow and languid, trailing kisses from his jaw to his lips, catching them in a deep kiss as you moved herself closer to be directly in his lap. Sunghoon allowed his hands to move from your hips to your waist, caressing the soft, plump skin he was met with, the warmth welcoming his hands.
Moments like this were quite possibly his favorite; the slow, lethargic kisses they both shared, even when they were both sober. He loved the feel of you pressed against him, no insecurities or worried clouding your judgement as you allowed yourself to be free and be comfortable with him, which only made you hotter.
"So, what do you say?" You finally spoke as their lips parted, ghosting against each other, "Can I?" You gazed at him with a fire of seductive confidence behind your eyes, the look only fueling the desire Sunghoon had to take you right in that moment.
He was practically rendered breathless from staring at you, almost forgetting to answer your awaiting question. "Definitely."
You engulfed his lips into a slow, yet heated kiss; lips smacking and tongues clashing in an instant of lust before they both broke away, a new spark igniting within the both of them. You took a second to stare at each other, breathing heavily before they broke into frantic movements.
Sunghoon shifted sporadically, pulling the hoodie up at any angle he could, nearly getting it stuck on his head and glasses as you frantically struggled to get your bra off, trying your best to keep your balance as Sunghoon wiggled and jerked, muttering and cursing here and there. The red death trap finally released its hold on Sunghoon, and he was met with the glorious sight of you dangling your bra on your finger, using your other hand to muffle your bubbling giggles.
"I'm glad you find me funny." He readjusted his glasses and took your hand away from your mouth, leaning himself forward to place a kiss on your lips.
"And I'm glad you don't mind me crushing you," You giggled again, nuzzling your nose against his own, causing him to blush before sucking his teeth at you.
"You could never." He murmured, kissing your cheek, then neck, before following up with another kiss on your lips, "You're perfect, besides, more cushion for the pushin'." As he said this he moved his hands to your ass, giving it a generous squeeze and earning himself a squeak of surprise.
"God, you're a dork." You sighed blissfully as moved his hands to your chest, massaging your breasts while he worked on decorating your neck in red. You felt the texture of his tongue run along a particularly sensitive part of your neck, causing you to shiver and his lips to curl into a smile before he sucked on the portion of skin.
"As long as I'm your dork, I'm okay with that."
He continued to litter your neck and chest with open-mouthed kisses, pinching your nipples teasingly before rolling them between his forefinger and thumb, hearing your gasps of pleasure as you gently tugged at his hair. Moving his head lower, he placed a few kisses at the top of your breasts before taking your right nipple into his mouth, licking tentatively at the hardening bud, still twisting at the unoccupied one.
You whimpered lightly, tilting your head back faintly as you held the back of his head, grinding down on the hardening bulge in his jeans for much needed friction. You felt him groan against your skin, lifting his hips to press into your core as you continued to grind onto him.
Without a moment to spare, Sunghoon moved on to your other nipple, giving it the same treatment as the right while he used his right hand to travel down your side, reaching the hem of the leggings. Before he could move any further, he felt you hand grab his, lifting it away from your hip.
"Nuh uh, shirt off first, you gotta finish this level before moving on, Hoonie," You taunted breathlessly, a small smirk grazing your lips as he released your breast with a small pop.
"Oh, I love when you speak video game," He groaned softly, flashing you a smile as he leaned away from you, reaching behind him to pull off his t-shirt and toss it off the side of the couch. "Now, pants?"
"Pants." You nodded, pushing yourself off of his lap to stand, allowing him to do the same.
Sunghoon's hands eagerly went to his belt buckle, rushing to undo the buckle and get the slightly tighter pants off of him, while you turned your back to him; bending over to give him a show as you pulled your leggings off, grinning as you heard Sunghoon groan.
"Leggings on you are a weapon to me, babe." He huffed in success as he finally pushed off his jeans, kicking them off in a pile behind him before coming face to face with you again.
You stared at each other for a heartbeat before Sunghoon chuckled, "Should we take off our underwear too before we go back to sitting?"
You thought for a second before huffing out a laugh, "Yeah, we probably should."
After taking off their underwear they resumed the previous position on the couch, kissing passionately as you hovered over his hardened cock, brushing against it every now and again with your wet cunt causing Sunghoon to shiver. He slid his hand between both of their bodies, using his finger to delve between your lower lips, feeling your wetness collect on his fingers. You moaned into the kiss, feeling your body shiver in excitement as his finger prodded at your slit before slowly sliding into your pussy; pumping a few times before he added a second, feeling your walls stretch around him.
"Sunghoon..." You moaned softly once you broke the kiss, resting your forehead against his as he continued to finger you, feeling the digits slightly curl inside of you. You gasped, shortly realizing what he was searching for as he picked up the pace, his thumb starting to rub small circles on your clit.
"Almost..." He murmured, keeping his eyes on your face as he curled his fingers again.
You inhaled sharply, tilting your head back as a loud moan escaped your lips. "Sunghoon!"
"There we go." Sunghoon grinned as he continued to thrust his fingers into your warmth, feeling your juices coat his digits as you hovered above his lap. He felt your walls clench as your hips bucked into his hand, moving his thumb faster across the sensitive bud of nerves; watching as your lips stayed parted to accommodate for the moans spilling out, eyelashes resting against the tops of your cheeks.
Your entire being exuded bliss, borderline pornographic as Sunghoon felt himself grow harder at the sight, if that was even possible at this point.
"H-Hoonie, I'm close-" You whimpered, your fingers finding their way into his hair as you leaned your head into his shoulder, tugging at the black strands while moaning into his skin, feeling the knot tighten within your abdomen.
"Come on baby, cum for me," He moaned, feeling your thighs begin to shake as your moans became constant.
As he pressed his fingers into your g-spot you let out a loud moan, shaking as your walls pulsed and convulsed around his fingers. Sunghoon continued to slowly pump his fingers inside of you, easing you down from your climax as he felt you panting against his neck, leaving small kisses against the warmth of his skin.
After a moment you sat up once again, gazing into his eyes with nothing but pure love and admiration before pulling him into a slow kiss. "Now it's your turn," You murmured against his lips, a smile growing on your own as you reached for the signature hoodie that started all of this. You easily slid the article over your body, feeling the slightly scratchy fabric of the inside envelope you in warmth and the scent of Sunghoon before digging around in the front pocket to take out a condom he usually had stashed there for 'safe keeping'.
Sunghoon was breathless as he took in the heavenly sight before him; his girlfriend with your slightly messed up hair and flustered face wearing his hoodie, his hoodie, slightly large over your frame with nothing underneath as you held out a condom. Sure, you had worn his hoodie numerous times before, but this was a sight unlike any other, and boy was he enjoying it. He was snapped out of his trance once he felt your hand wrap around his cock, pumping it gingerly as he shivered, not realizing how touch deprived he felt. "F-Fuck," He breathed, rutting his hips into your hand subconsciously.
You gasped lightly, the sound of his moan shooting directly to your core as you continued to pump him a bit faster, collecting the drops of precum that leaked out of the tip with your thumb and spreading it around.
"I-If you keep it up we're gonna have to wait fifteen minutes to do this again." He whimpered out a laugh, his hand wrapping around your wrist to stop your movements with a serious look. You nodded, chewing your lower lip before tearing open the packet, taking the lubricated condom between your fingers before moving off of his lap a bit to slide it along his dick; the rubber coating him almost like a second skin.
Moving yourself closer to him once again, you took his length in your hand to line him up with your slit, feeling the tip rub slightly against your pussy lips with a small moan. "Ready?"
Sunghoon nodded up at you, his hands holding your hips for support as you hovered above him, so close yet still so far.
"I need to hear you say you're ready, handsome," You breathed, a light of playfulness shining behind your eyes.
"I'm ready, baby," He practically groaned, making a mental note to get back at you for making him wait.
Nodding, you slowly slid yourself down on his cock, feeling his girth stretch your walls slightly as you continued to go down on him; a moan escaping both of your lips once your pelvises met.
Sunghoon bit his lip, fighting the urge to press your to his body and fuck you relentlessly as he felt you clench around him. You let out a small breath before steadying yourself against his lap, resting your hands on his shoulders and lifting your hips until only the head was inside of you before sinking down once again, a rush of pleasure coursing through your like electricity.
You continued the motion, speeding up once you heard Sunghoon's soft groan of pleasure; his hands helping you rise and fall against his cock at a steady pace. Opening your eyes, you looked at Sunghoon, watching as his stare was focused on his lap; watching as your pussy slid along his cock with ease. You brought your hands to the sides of his face, gently bringing his head up to meet your eyes, getting lost in the chocolate brown pools surrounded by the rim of his glasses; their breaths mingling together.
Within a heartbeat their lips smashed together, soft moans and whimpers escaping the both of them as you rode him faster, feeling his fingers squeeze against your hips as he pulled you into him. He pulled you down he thrusted his hips up out of instinct, moaning at the deeper contact he was able to reach.
"Fuck! R-Right there Sunghoon!" You mewled, gripping his shoulders tighter as you bounced, feeling his cock press against your g-spot as he thrusted into you again.
"Go-od you're so tight," He panted as he pulled you harder against him, feeling your walls clench and throb around him, feeling a familiar knot slowly begin to form in the pit of his stomach. "Hold on."
"W-Wha-" You started before you were suddenly pushed to the side, laying on your back while Sunghoon hovered over you, hiking your legs onto his hips and resting himself on his forearms for balance. He pushed himself deeper inside of your dripping pussy, causing you to moan out in pleasure at the new, and better, angle. "Oh, God!"
Sunghoon started out with a few slow thrusts before picking up speed, the sound of your moans and the lewdness of your skin slapping together filling the basement.
"You're so perfect, writhing under me like that, god you're perfect." He murmured against your ear, his words enunciated by his thrusts.
Your hands tangled themselves throughout his black locks, tugging harshly as you squeezed your legs around his hips. Moaning loudly, Sunghoon snapped his hips into yours with a near animalistic growl as he fucked you deeper, compensating for the speed.
"Hoon! Sunghoon, I-" You whimpered, your head pressing into the couch as you arched your body into his, feeling him continuously graze your g-spot with ease.
He sat up, much to your displeasure as your hands fell from his hair and took a moment to take in your position; your body bouncing against each of his thrusts as the hoodie rose up against your stomach, your breasts bouncing underneath the fabric freely while your face was wrapped in an expression of pure pleasure, eyes screwed shut and plump lips open to compensate for the moans that spilled out. He slid a hand down to your clit, rubbing the nub in quick circles in time with his thrusts, cursing when your pussy clenched around his cock once more.
"I know, cum for me beautiful, just for me," He moaned, putting off his own climax to get you to reach your climax first; a gentleman as always.
You felt the pressure in your stomach tighten before snapping completely, your eyes squeezing shut as you came against his cock. You came with a high-pitched moan of his name, your back arching slightly as he continued to thrust inside of you, helping you ride out your climax.
"I- fuck, I'll never get tired of seeing that," Sunghoon grunted, leaning over your body again as his own thrusts began to grow faster and sloppier, burying his head within the crook of your neck, sucking at your supple skin. "God you feel so good."
"G-Go on baby, cum, it's your turn," You moaned, holding him close to you as you raked your nails across his shoulders, bracing yourself against his relentless thrusts.
Sunghoon gave a few more hard thrusts before his hips stuttered, spilling his seed inside of the condom with a loud moan into your neck. He continued to thrust slowly, riding out his high as you whispered words of comfort, lightly running your fingers across his scalp as he panted heavily.
After a few moments of comforting silence Sunghoon slowly pulled out of you, going to dispose of the used condom before walking back to the couch; pulling on his once discarded boxers and t-shirt with a small smile on his lips. "Come on cutie, let's get you situated," He hummed, swiftly picking up your panties before dangling them in front of you.
"My legs feel like gel-o," You moaned, covering your face with your hands, the sleeves of his hoodie over them like mitts.
"Alright, you get recovery time but remember what they taught us in health class-"
"Yeah, yeah, STI's and all that," You interrupted, snatching the underwear from him as you slid them up your legs, "Cuddle while I recover, Mr. Health Enforcer?"
Chuckling lightly, Sunghoon nodded and sat on the couch, laying back on the opposite end before your maneuvered yourself on top of him; resting your head on his chest while your legs entwined.
"You know," He started, allowing his hands to move to your lower back lovingly, "You look really hot when you have my hoodie on, especially like that."
"I bet that's just the high talking." You murmured, closing your eyes to focus on the beat of his heart through his shirt.
"No, never. You always look hot to me, the hoodie just made it better because its mine, and you're mine, so it's a double whammy." He paused, furrowing his eyebrows, trying to find the right words to say. "You're not hot, actually, you're beautiful, more beautiful than words can describe, and a photo can capture. I love you because you're just, so... Indescribable."
You felt tears prick at your eyes as your heart swelled at his words, snuggling yourself closer to him with a small smile, "And I love you because you're so describable; so real, tangible, there. There are so many words to describe you I'd have to learn all the languages to use them all, and even then I'd be missing some. Every word comes so close yet so far to describing you yet they're all so valid because you're you, you're here, you're real."
Sunghoon squeezed you tightly, pressing a kiss to the top of your head, "I love you so much."
"I love you too."
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skay-ali · 2 months ago
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Tears of an angel
The idea of ​​a Wayne reader, who was well received from the beginning at the mansion and by its members, has constantly crossed my mind. A good family relationship that took an obsessive turn, not only with his family but also with other people.
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A weapon, your head felt pressed with great force, so much so that, if you didn't make an effort to keep your head up, the force would surely send you to the floor.
There were many people, an endless number of blurry faces that surrounded you, they were horrible, it made you nauseous to see them, although some were also reindeers, it was difficult for you to recognize them, not only the criminals were vile, sometimes even people who seemed normal hid big things, you learned throughout your life.
Of all the possible hostages, you were the first to be threatened, you regretted leaving your home, you should have stayed locked in the safest place you created.
Yes... you should never have gone out, all your thoughts repeated it to you, you were wrong to leave your safe space, now you were surrounded by people and criminals, when it was over the cameras and the reporters' unconscious questions would come, thousands of news stories about you, the majority that would leave you feeling bad, and the feelings of guilt that would torment you for a long time.
You inhaled air, it became difficult to breathe, if you didn't control yourself you would panic, you would create a big scene, you couldn't do that, it would ruin your image more, you were already doing it while crying silently, your appearance was horrible, your hair disheveled, makeup ruined , a red nose dripping with snot.
You were a Wayne by blood, that was proven by your DNA, along with the similar characteristics that you inherited from your paternal grandmother.
You remember having been in this house all your life, the memories related to your mother were few, mostly blurry, difficult to distinguish from your short childhood and adolescence in the care of your father, as if your mother had never existed.
Your life was almost good, although there was a gap between you and your family, you did not receive excessive neglect, hatred or jealousy from each member of your family.
You were like a rarely recurring character in everyone's life.
The bad things in your life were not reflected in your relationship with your family, that was the least of your problems, something insignificant in your opinion, with what was happening outside.
It's funny to think about it, your father, you knew very well that he thought, that you lived one of the best lives, you really did, you had a family that never mistreated you, a good home and money, many privileges hand in hand with the latest , but that great privilege brought you something bad and terrifying, something that began to rule your life.
Being part of a large family made you a target, first of criminals, who took full advantage of using you as a means to achieve their ends, from criminal minds who kidnapped you as a hostage for their evil plans, as criminals who only wanted a great reward on your head, although in the end you were saved by the city's great vigilantes or the police, nothing took away the long moments of anguish, in which you were trapped in a dirty place, full of unknown people with bad intentions, vulnerable , having a gun pointed at some part of your body.
They were very difficult moments, fear ruled you along with paranoia, you did not normalize it as part of your life even if they were constant episodes in your life, you developed a trauma, one of your defense mechanisms was to disconnect from your surroundings, letting your body lived everything and your mind turned off, everything was black or white, a great void, until they saved you.
As a helpless person, who was in constant danger and only waiting to be saved by his brave knight, even though he wasn't that bad, you felt completely useless.
Things became worse, when you started to be afraid to leave your home, you became a complete renegade, in your big stone tower, a burrowing mouse or was it a rabbit... an asocial being...
How would you not be if your second problem was that, the social ones, people who, since school, persecuted you, wanted to be your friends or so they said, like a stupid and naive girl you believed them the first time, until you saw how they abandoned you When they already got what they really wanted from your father, suddenly their friendship no longer worked and they left you, often disowning you, as if you were a bad person because of your status and money, you were not seen as a girl who hardly understood their around and that he feared society itself, each person.
You couldn't even trust kids your age anymore, they all wanted to destroy you, finish you off.
The third problem in your life, the reporters and paparazzi, who harassed you every time they could, it didn't matter that you were just a minor, they found a way to get what they wanted and make you look bad, take advantage of every part of you. , without caring about the consequences of their actions, the repercussions that occurred in your life due to their news.
The horrible photos, where you hated seeing yourself, just an imperfect and horrible being, that was you... Your last problem, you... you hated yourself, maybe you were a bad girl, someone selfish and super annoying along with all the other insults professed by people who already got something from you or never did and were no longer chasing you, useless... very useless, that you were not able to protect yourself and avoid getting into trouble, you bothered everyone, the police, the heroes, your family... all for not taking care of yourself for wanting to live a little, for being too selfish.
Not even pretty, those words loaded with a very strong poison, that many girls said to you or whispered to each other in their groups of friends, or the boys who blatantly mentioned it after you rejected them, or all the people who looked at your images in the gossip programs or magazines, when the worst photos they took of you were uploaded to gain more audience, because it turned out that you were their great gem, it was a great gossip, you became out of nowhere, the public's favorite, to get the best gossip.
That was your life, although you couldn't change it... there was a small opportunity to improve it a little. Cross saving yourself off your list, give yourself something better.
First, giving all your supposed fans a good image, being perfect in their eyes, someone with great beauty and without imperfection, a star, someone to adore.
Something that at first was only to avoid more bad photos of you and news, became an addiction, how could it not be, if when you were careless for a moment they took the opportunity to humiliate you and make you look like a horrible being again, you didn't want to be that horrible being. , not again, so beauty treatments, excessive care of your body, clothes that highlighted you better, a great activity with your followers, if they wanted that from you you would give it to them, that was the easiest.
That didn't stop you from feeling bad on the days when you were with your great confidant, Alfred.
When you saw yourself in some reflection, at times you didn't recognize yourself, who were you? What did you become? Maybe the man who always had time for you got disappointed.
But seeing your reflection, that arrogant smile, the other person who was reflected told you that it was the right thing to do, they could no longer destroy you if they thought they had everything of you, without them realizing it you would end up on a great altar, you would be far superior to everyone, Maybe then they would never kidnap you with many followers who would give their lives for you, would they defend you because you didn't want that? When your other self shook her head to the side and feigned empathy for you, her words that you should stop worrying about people who would never do the same for you.
“After all, maybe that man you appreciated a lot did something for you every time they buried your name in the mud... nope, he never did, maybe he was just pretending that he cared about you, he loved your father and your father much more your half-brothers, you were the last task on their list, you just don't want to accept it, like the stupid girl you were."
Her big arrogant smile was the last thing you saw of her.
You should never have gone out, a big party with a lot of people, the idea of ​​showing off with all of them, showing a little superiority, having the media pleased and therefore the people, making her, your reflection, pleased, that she was happy and will no longer torment you.
Speaking of her, she was watching you, you saw her in a glass, her icy gaze, oh... she's so disappointed, you heard her words clearly.
“Oh, what a coward you are, you're seriously crying, what a crybaby baby you are, making yourself look ridiculous in front of all these self-centered people, a couple of photos like that and you'll please all the people who want to see you in a bad way.”
“pathetic, very pathetic, maybe that's why you are never someone your family appreciates, remember their faces the few times you spend with your family, they pretend to be fine, but in reality they only put up with you... just because they can't get rid of you”
His cruel taunts were very painful, like thorns, he knew very well how to attack you.
You closed your eyes, squeezing them as tight as you could and covered your ears, you didn't want to hear her anymore. In a few minutes you were white, far from everything. Batman and Superman along with their companions appeared to control such a commotion, although it would be easy to control the criminals there were many hostages in danger.
An extremely complex job, it was even more so when Bruce and his children saw who one of the hostages was, you.
Determined to save you, they entered one of the last rooms, only to find everyone alarmed, some alarmed and others watching somewhat shocked.
A large pool of blood and a man on the floor, one of the participants in the crime, and near the man, a woman, difficult to recognize due to the blood on her face, who brutally attacked the dead man on the floor. Her thin heels crushing the man's skin, again and again.
I wish, Bruce, I had never been able to recognize that person, that deranged young woman, who madly attacked a person with a smile. Where his little smiling daughter had gone, who always visited him or tried to spend more time with him or her brothers.
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Normally I like to make a prologue and depending on the reactions continue the story. In addition to developing the yandere little by little, I simply felt that this story needs a little more things before starting with the yandere
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lucyrose191 · 1 year ago
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Hi!!! I loved A Shared History so much!! Would you consider writing a prequel of how Sebastian and Reader got together and/or a sequel of their lives after retirement? I love you so much!
A SHARED HISTORY: AFTER RETIREMENT |S.VETTEL
Pairing; Sebastian Vettel x wife!driver!reader
Summary; Sebastian and Y/N try to navigate their new life after retiring from formula one. The world is dying to know what their favourite couple is up to but the next season has already started with no appearance from the Vettels.
No Warnings. Quite long.
F1 Master List , Part 1 , Part 3
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February 2023
It had been 3 months since saying goodbye to the very thing that Y/N lived for, racing had been all she had ever known and leaving it behind had felt like she had left part of herself on the track.
Her decision had been rash, she was still at the height of her career when she walked away. Y/N still felt like she had so much more to give to the sport and so much more to achieve.
Sebastian had embraced this new life he had chosen, he was handling the separation much better than her. There were so many things he had been able to do; there was now a designated area on their land for him to grow all of the crops he desired and he was loving it, he had always had a green thumb and now he had the free time to experiment.
The difference between their circumstances was that Sebastian had been ready to retire, he had lost his spark and found himself having more love for things outside of motorsport but Y/N had still been winning, she was still coming home with a trophy ever other week and was still revelling in the thrill of the high speed battles and being showered in champagne.
But when Sebastian had approached her that one afternoon with an apprehensive look on his face and told her that he was thinking about retiring it felt like the world has stopped spinning for just a moment, a heavy feeling had settled in her chest as he continued to speak.
I just think it’s time for me to say goodbye to the car, it doesn’t give me the thrill that it used to.
There are so many other things that I find myself enjoying more.
It seems selfish of me to stay when I’m not enjoying it, if I stay then I’m denying younger drivers the opportunity to reach their dreams
She remembers the conversation like it was yesterday and not over a year ago, she remembers the million thoughts running through her head all at the same time. She simply stared at the blanket over her lap as he continued to speak, looking at her helplessly as he waited for her to say something, anything to let him know what she was thinking.
But despite all the thoughts running through her head, her mind could only focus on one.
How could she drive without Sebastian there with her?
She had only ever drove in formula one with Sebastian Vettel on the track with her, that’s where met, where they became friends, where they fell in love.
Y/N couldn’t imagine driving without Seb and the more she thought about it over the next few days, few weeks. She didn’t want to drive without Seb.
It was a quick decision, she’d admit that but Y/N had always been impulsive.
She had been watching Britta set up for Seb to make his video that announced his retirement when she blurted out the words nearly sending both of them and herself into cardiac arrest.
I’m retiring with you.
Her words were heavy and had hung thickly in the air as Seb and Britta simply stared at her, not believing what had just left her mouth, quite frankly she wasn’t sure she had believed it either.
But hearing the words aloud she knew it was the right thing, she was six world titles in and at the height of her career but she’d have to say goodbye eventually and why not go out on a high?
She hasn’t told Sebastian about the empty feeling in her chest, a feeling that felt so close to regret, she knew it would only make him feel guilty knowing that it was because of him, she had retired because of him.
What could he do anyways? It was done, she had made her decision and it was too late to take it back now. The 2023 season started in just a few weeks and George Russell was now in her seat, she wasn’t bitter about it because he deserved it, she was maybe just a bit envious.
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May 2023
Y/N groaned as she rested her head against the toilet seat, the nauseating feeling in her stomach remained despite throwing her guts up. The feeling of Sebastian’s hand gently rubbing up and down her back didn’t help the sickness subside either.
"Are you feeling any better?" The German asked his wife so gently, as if fearing if he spoke any other way it would cause her to throw up again.
Y/N merely grunted which have him the answer he needed, he was getting worried, in all the years he had known her he could count the number of times she’d been sick on one hand and yet here she was for the fourth day in a row hunched over the toilet.
"How can I help you?" He asked desperately, hating to see her so weak.
Y/N’s eyes fluttered as she felt the energy drain from her body. "Can I have a hug?" She sluggishly held her arms out towards him, removing her head from its resting positing on the loo only for it to roll into her shoulder. All she wanted right now was comfort.
Sebastian smiled at his wife and lowered hs body to sit on the floor, spreading his legs and holding out his arms to which she immediately crawled into them, curling her body into his and resting her body against his chest, sighing in relief from the immediate comfort she got. Seb wrapped his arms around her and simply held her, he didn’t say anything knowing that his actions were simply enough, if all she needed was a hug then he’d happily provide that for her. Although he was definitely calling the doctor later.
A couple of days later
Sebastian and Y/N walked through the front door of their home, Seb had the biggest smile imaginable on his face due to the news they had just received. Y/N wished she could share the excitement but it was a bit hard when the news was the reason behind the fact she couldn’t even look at food without wanted to throw up all over the place.
Seb looked over to her and seemed to finally noticed the lack of happiness in her expression because for the first time since leaving the doctors his smile finally dropped. "Are you okay, liebe? I thought you wanted this?"
Y/N sighed as she lowered her body into the couch. "I do want this, Seb, I promise. This was our plan after retirement, to start a family. It’s just hard to smile when I feel like my organs are moving around inside of me," she explained, not wanting him to feel like she didn’t want this baby of theirs, she did want it.
They had spoken over the years and had agreed that they wouldn’t have children until Y/N gave up racing because she didn’t want to have to take a break for two years and then come back, they also didn’t to be absent parents.
"Is there anything I can do to help?" Sebastian asked, he was feeling really useless having to watch his wife swallow the urge to throw up at the sight of anything and everything as a result of their new found pregnancy.
"A cuppa would be nice," Y/N smiled sweetly at him as she settled herself under a blanket, she looked rough, she knew she did but looking into Seb’s eyes she saw nothing but love for her and the child she was giving him and although she had a million other reasons as to why he was the one for her, in this moment it reminded her just why she married him.
This man had hugged and kissed her without hesitation whilst she was all sweaty at the end of a race and now when she looked like she’d been hit by a bus he still looked at her like he had never seen anything more beautiful.
There were still a million thoughts and worries running through her mind, that lost feeling was still in her gut but she knew that with Sebastian by her side she’d be able to figure everything out, maybe not now but eventually they would be fine.
July 2023
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"And there is your baby," the nurse turned the screen so that Y/N and Seb could see the black and white image of their growing baby. It was already so much bigger than from their last appointment, time was flying so quickly for the pair of them and it was frightening.
Seb had gone to England to see the British Grand Prix and do a small interview with the Sky Grid Kids leaving Y/N in their Switzerland home. He had asked her multiple times to go with him because he didn’t want to leave her alone but she had denied every time.
They were eleven races down in the 2023 season she hasn’t watched a single race, not in person or on the tv. She just couldn’t bring herself to do it, whilst she had many things to occupy her mind with now that they had a baby on the way such as decorating a nursery, building furniture and baby shopping, she was scared of watching a race because she didn’t know how it would make her feel.
She was scared that watching a race would truly make her regret her decision to retire and that was something she didn’t want to feel so whenever Sebastian sat down on a Sunday and turned on the tv, Y/N would get up and go to another room, what she didn’t see was the defeated look on Seb’s face every time she walked out.
Y/N thought she was being subtle but Sebastian always caught the lost, empty looks on her face as she stared out the window. He caught the fake smiles she’d give him when she tried to pretend she was okay and it was breaking him. He wanted his wife back, the one that was filled with energy and humour, it was defeating to see this shadow of a woman in front of him.
He hoped that he could persuade he’d to attend a race with him before the season finished and their child was born because he knew that it wasn’t the actual racing she missed, it was the sport and the atmosphere. Y/N just didn’t know right now that she hadn’t lost that when she chose to retire.
"Are you wanting to find out the gender?" The nurse asked, looking between Y/N and Seb.
Sebastian looked at Y/N with a raised brow to which she nodded causing him to burst into a large smile before turning to the nurse. "We’d love to know."
The nurse looked back at the screen for a moment just to be sure before looking at the couple with a kind smile. "Well then, congratulations you’re having a boy."
Sebastian looked at Y/N in amazement and soothed a hand over her hair, he loved the care free smile of pure delight that was taking over he face. Whilst he himself had been hoping for a girl, she had wanted a boy and as long as she was happy Seb couldn’t find it in himself to be disappointed in the slightest, he was looking forward to having a mini him.
"Oh, thank god. I don’t think I could’ve handled a girl," Y/N laughed, boys were so much easier in her opinion. She had met so many babies in her life and girls were just crazy.
The nurse and Seb both laughed at her words before the nurse asked "I know you suffered quite a lot with morning sickness, has it gotten any better since the last time I saw you?"
Y/N nodded "Way better, now that I’m in my second trimester it’s pretty much disappeared."
Too right it had, Seb thought. As soon as her second trimester hit his wife had turned into a different woman. She was much happier in everything she did and it made him wonder if some of her negative feelings were due to her hormones, he would never ask her though.
What he had noticed though was that as her morning sickness vanished, it had been replaced with something entirely different. Over the last few weeks his wife had turned into- well, a horn dog to put it lightly.
The only way Seb could think of to describe it was that Y/N had turned into a sex maniac, she wanted it all the time and he would be lying if he said he wasn't enjoying the new side of her but he was worried he couldn't keep up. What he will say is that he didn't think he would be doing this much cardio after retiring.
August 2023
"Are you okay, liebe?" Sebastian asked in a worried tone, taking notice of the grimace on his wife’s face. The bread dough was long forgotten on the kitchen counter as he turned all of his attention onto her.
"Your son is using my ribs as a football," Y/N sighed, rubbing the side of her stomach where she had felt the kick. She was six months along now and whilst the sickness has gone she was now slowly entering the stage where everything was getting uncomfortable.
Her bump wasn’t overly huge but it was now hardening and it was very clear that she was pregnant, not that anyone outside of their family and the doctors knew.
Seb tried not to show his amusement at her words, he hasn’t failed to notice that whenever the baby did something that she wasn’t overly fond of, their son suddenly became his son.
He never commented on the habit she had picked up because she was going through so much to give him the life he had always wanted. Obviously, she had wanted a family too but for Sebastian it had been his dream, he had always been a family man and now- to have his own, it was still hard for him to believe at times but what he did know was that watching his wife, who he had loved for years, grow their child had only made him fall in love with her more and so he would happily take the blame for the brunt kicks their son forced into her ribs or bladder.
He walked closer to where she was sitting on a bar stool and placed both his hands on the sides of her stomach, caressing it gently, before leaning down and placing a firm kiss over her shirt. He laughed when he felt a force being returned from the inside of her stomach, it felt like a slight nudge, like when Y/N would press her index finger against his lips to shush him whenever he was sprouting anything silly.
"He’s partying in there," Seb looked at her with his cheeky smile.
Y/N scoffed "He’s got two racing drivers for parents, he’s bound to not want to sit still. Honestly, i dont know what we were thinking."
Sebastian nodded "You’ve got a point, this has never happened before has it? God, our son’s going to be all over the place with racing genes coming from both sides. We’re going to have quite the handful."
Y/N hummed in agreement "It’ll be worth it though, I’m glad we retired now, I’m happy with where we are." Over the past few weeks she had found that the gap in her heart had slowly shrunken and barely did she worry about the decision she made, her and Seb were starting a new life together and the love she already had for their unborn son made it clear that she had made the right choice.
September 2023
It was silent between the pair of them as Y/N folded some of Seb’s clothes on the bed, helping him pack his suitcase for his trip to Japan. The approaching Grand Prix had always had a special place in Sebastian’s heart and he had always planned on attending this one.
"You know, you could always come with me," Seb hesitantly broke the silence.
Y/N was seven months pregnant now, all their baby had to do now was grow. Soon, it wouldn’t be safe for her to fly so now was really his last chance to encourage her to attend a Grand Prix. That and he really did not feel comfortable leaving her home alone.
Just as she was about to protest, Seb started speaking again. "Mick will be there, he’s been asking a lot about you and the baby. He said he misses you."
It was a poor move on his part, he’s well aware of the soft spot his wife had for the young German. He hasn’t lied, Mick had been asking about Y/N a lot, he’d been thrilled at learning he’d become an Uncle and had hoped that he’d have the time to fly out to Switzerland to visit but he hasn’t.
Every Grand Prix that Seb had attended since they had found out they were expecting he had been forced to watch Mick’s glances over his shoulder wondering if Y/N was going to appear, he had actually been forced to watch every driver do that, albeit none of the other driver’s knew of the impending Vettel baby.
"Fine, I’ll come," Y/N relented and for a moment her words hadn’t clicked but then Seb froze and looked at her in disbelief.
"Seriously?" He asked, praying she wasn’t pulling his leg.
Y/N nodded. "You’re packing my bag though," she told him.
"Done. Great." Seb smiled widely, still in disbelief that she’d agreed but nonetheless he turned and walked into their closet to get her suitcase to pack it before she had a chance to change her mind.
A couple of days later.
"So, how’s the season gone so far, what have I missed?" Y/N asked Seb from her position on the hotel bed, she should’ve probably asked this question sooner rather than an hour before they left to the track for the race. Seb had went to the qualifying sessions yesterday but she had chosen to stay behind, no one knew that she had been here for the weekend or that she would be ah the track today.
Seb sighed "Well, at the beginning of the season RedBull was dominating with Fernando getting a few podiums but then it was Max dominating and everyone else pretty much a lap behind but now the McLarens have seriously improved with their upgrades and are closer than anyone else even though there’s still a large gap."
Y/N was glad that RedBull was winning again, they hadn’t really since her and Seb left the team in 2014 but now they were back and better than ever. "What about the Mercedes?" She asked, wondering how her team of six years were doing without her, she had won five of her titles with that team.
Seb grimaced at her question. "Not very good if I’m being honest."
"What!?" Y/N looked at him shocked. "How?"
"There car hasn’t been as good as it could be and they aren’t used to not winning so there’s been a bit of tension within the team, especially with Lewis. He said some things he probably shouldn’t have and the media isn’t really helping. Mick told me that there’s a lot of people saying that it’s not a coincidence that you’re not there and now they’re not winning."
"I definitely did not miss the media since I’ve been away from the track," Y/N said.
"Well, I just run away from them," Seb said when a cheeky smile.
Y/N looked at him deadpanned "I’m seven months pregnant, I can hardly run with this stomach in the way."
"We’ll speed walk," Sebastian shrugged, trying not to laugh as his wife rolled her eyes at him.
Suzuka circuit
"This was not a good idea! Why did you have to pick the lowest possible car? You’re going to have to help me out." Y/N huffed, the car was so low to the ground and the seats were so deep that there was no way for her to get out because her stomach was in the way.
Sebastian burst into high pitched chuckles as he saw her the and move forward in her seat, he had already been spotted and could see a few cameras waiting near the entrance for him but he was sure they had no idea that Y/N was in the passenger seat.
Still chuckling, he got out of the car and worked his way round to the other side, ignoring the cameras that were recording him. He opened the passenger door and tried to bite down his laughter when he met Y/N’s unimpressed face, he held out his hands for her to take and pulled her up and out of the car.
As soon as she stepped out they both heard the gasps and murmuring from fans and media workers, not just at the sight of Y/N but also the baby bump she had. "You ready?" Seb whispered.
Y/N took a deep breath and nodded "Ready." She told him.
Sebastian didn’t let go of her hand once as they made their way towards the entrance, they ignored the cameras and questions but smiled politely and couldn’t help but laugh at some of the excited fans that had spotted them.
As soon as they got into the paddock it was crazy, every garage they walked past, they were greeted and spoke to by mechanics and engineers that were over the moon the two were here.
Sebastian led the way to the RedBull garage and as soon as they stepped inside they were crowded, bombarded with ‘congratulations’ and other sweet messages before eventually people got back to their jobs.
Christian Horner soon found them and embraced them with a welcoming smile, his two prodigies that had pretty much up started RedBull in formula one. "It’s good to see you, Seb," he said before turning to Y/N "And you, it’s good to have you back, finally."
Y/N was feeling all sorts of happiness being back at the track and she was glad she came, or glad that Seb had persuaded her to come. "It’s good to be back," she replied.
"Congratulations on the baby, I’m really happy for you both. God, Seb, you’ve kept this under wraps," Christian looked between the two in disbelief.
"We’ve enjoyed the privacy and going through it without the interruptions," Seb said for the pair of them and Christian understood, it was easier without the extra stress.
"Hey! Heard there was a baby Vettel in the garage!" Daniel barged into the place, loud and drawing attention to himself as usual.
Y/N smiled as he wrapped her into a bear hug before placing his hands on her stomach "my god, they weren’t joking. Congratulations guys!"
"Thanks Daniel," Y/N laughed.
"I didn’t know Seb had it in him to procreate"
Sebastian scoffed as everyone around them laughed at his expense. "It didn’t take long," he smirked as everyone laughed more. Y/N rolled her eyes at his witty response.
"It’s good to have you back, it’s like you fell off the face of the Earth! Seb kept saying you were doing good and that you were fine but i didn’t believe him, I was worried. Turns out he was right, you’ve been having lots of fun," Daniel eyed her baby bump with an amused smirk.
Y/N lightly slapped his arm at his words, she truly hadn’t expected anything different from Daniel.
"So, who’re you supporting? Me?" He asked.
Y/N shook her head "Honestly, I’m just here to get out of the house, I haven’t been watching so i dont know what the cars are like but I heard Lando was doing good which I’m looking forward to seeing."
Daniel looked at her offended "I see how it is, he was always your favourite."
"That’s not true!" Y/N laughed, "Kimi was my favourite but he left and then I hated everyone," she joked.
"You know I thought it wasn’t a coincidence that you left only a year after! I have Kimi to blame then," Daniel replied.
"Anyways, are you happy to be back in the car?" Y/N asked.
Daniel nodded "Very, the break was nice but the car is where I belong."
"Well, I’m glad your back at it," she told him before he left back to AlphaTauri to get prepped.
Y/N turned to Seb who was watching her with a smile, happy that she was happy. "Can we go to the Mercedes garage for a bit before the race?"
"Of course, whatever you want," Seb replied, they both waved goodbye to the team before leaving and heading two garages down to the Mercedes garage.
It seemed that the team had been waiting for her because as soon as she stepped in the mechanics all cheered for her, the atmosphere buzzing as the team was happy to have their star driver back in the garage.
Y/N saw Lewis was already in his car and walked over, she crouched down even though it was a struggle but she braced herself on the side of his car, he slid his visor up so he could look her in the eyes.
She reached her hand inside and grabbed his "Are you doing good?" She asked.
Lewis nodded "It’s been a rough season so far but we’re getting better, it’s good to have you here." His voice was muffled under his helmet.
"Yeah? I’m glad you’re doing good, how’s George as a teammate?" She asked, looking at him softly.
"He’s great. Not as good as you of course but he’s a great driver, you made the right call choosing him." Lewis said.
Y/N smiled "That’s good, I’m glad I didn’t sabotage you."
"No, no. Might need some of your good luck though," Lewis eyes crinkled to show he was smiling inside his helmet.
"I’ll try my best," She told him before letting go of his hand and using his car to stand back up. "Have a good race, I’ll be cheering you on."
She turned and found Seb a short walk away, talking to Mick although his eyes were trained on her, making sure she was okay and didn’t need any help. She pointed over to where Toto was sitting in front of a few screens to show him where she was going and he nodded.
She walked up behind her old boss and placed her hands on his shoulders causing him to jump, he looked over his shoulder and once he saw it was her he smiled and removed his headphones. "Y/N! It’s good to see you," he turned around in his seat and wrapped one of his arms around her in greeting.
"It’s good to see you as well," Y/N told him. "How’s everything?"
"It’s okay, could be better but could certainly be worse," Toto replied.
"I heard things hadn’t been too great but I’m glad to know they’re improving," She said.
"Barely," Toto scoffed.
"Well, improvement is still improvement," she said.
"I guess it is, congratulations on the pregnancy by the way!" He nodded towards her bump.
"Thank you," She said, brushing a hand over her stomach. "I don’t want to distract you but I’ll be around"
Toto nodded at her words before turning back to the monitors in front of him.
She was getting a bit tired now and made her way over to Seb and Mick who were still conversing, Seb wrapped his arm around her waist when he felt her at his side but continued his talk.
Mick soon turned to her, glancing at her stomach before looking back up at her. "It’s good to see you again, Y/N. Im glad you finally made time for me" he teased.
Y/N shrugged "How does the saying go? Always save the best for last."
Mick smiled and nodded "How long until my nephew’s here?" He asked quietly, knowing that only family knew the gender.
"Two months, they can’t go by quick enough," Y/N replied, leaning her head on Sebastian’s shoulder as she felt all of the socialising start to take a toll on her body. The race hadn’t even started yet.
"Where are you two watching the race?" Mick asked.
Y/N shrugged and looked at Seb.
"We can watch from here?" He proposed.
"I don’t care as long as I can sit down," she replied honestly and Seb nodded before Mick turned and showed them where they could go and sit down.
Y/N sighed as she felt the pressure disappear from her feet the moment she sat down. "You okay, liebe?" Seb asked from beside her.
She nodded "Yeah, I’m just tired," she told him.
"Are you glad you came?" He asked, knowing she had been resigned about it.
Y/N hummed "Yeah, I needed this. Thank you for persuading me to come. I know I’ve been a pain lately."
Sebastian soothed his hand over the side of her face "Don’t worry about it, liebe. I’m just glad you’re okay."
"I love you," Y/N told him.
"Ich liebe dich auch," Seb replied before he leaned forward and placed a kiss on her lips.
2 months later
Y/N looked down at her son, who was resting against her chest, in awe. She could not believe the life she was living now.
He was utterly perfect, he looked exactly like his father and she couldn’t find it in herself to be mad about it.
Y/N looked up at her husband who stood beside the hospital bed, his hand was resting over their son’s blonde curls but he was looking at her like she was the most gorgeous sight he had witnessed, even with her messy hair and sweaty face from giving birth. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her temple and sighed. "I love you so much," he whispered.
"I love you more," She replied.
Seeing the sparkle in Sebastian’s eyes as he looked between her and their son, his family, she knew she had made the right decision in retiring.
The baby in her arms was everything to her, so much more than racing could’ve ever been and it was all thanks to Seb.
She couldn’t have done it without him.
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meanbossart · 3 months ago
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What's DU's thoughts about disability? I know you've said he sort of sees Astarion's vampirism as a disability which I find extremely interesting. does that color his opinions on other disabilities?
And, well, would he still stay with Astarion if something disabling (not just the vampirism) happened to him?
I know you've said DU is a sort of, "Til death do us part" type of man, but if their style of adventuring had to change drastically...
Regardless of the reason being wheelchair, prosthetic limb(s), blindness, deafness, multiple... How would he cope with such a change?
I would imagine there would be conflict, at least until they're both used to things and have trained together enough, with new solid ways and workarounds that let them continue their adventuring?
I've sent so many questions today, I apologize haha. I just love DU Drow! You do an amazing job of fleshing him out!
Shockingly, DU drow is fairly reasonable when it comes to this. He will harp on a person's clothes, appearance, cadence, and all kinds of other dumb things if he feels like being a prick, but physical disability is something he leaves alone. I've said before that he has an unexplainable soft spot for children and mothers, and I think this falls into a similar category as something he deems too uncouth to bring attention to.
His patience only goes as far as his understanding, though. He's the type of guy who respects people trying to adapt and overcome - but quickly loses patience if your needs go beyond what he deems "reasonable". His "pull yourself up by the bootstraps" attitude colors his outlook on many things, this included.
And as always, he's going to be far, far more understanding of someone he's close to. Meanwhile, If we're talking about someone he already has strong animosity towards, all bets are off.
Which connects nicely to the Astarion portion of this question. Yes, DU drow is a "Til death do us part" type, and if something happened to Astarion that reduced his capacity to be independent, or just had a big learning curve, DU drow would adapt in whatever means necessary to accommodate him - he'd be his eyes, ears, legs, whatever he needed, - In fact, he would be all too eager to slip into a caretaking role.
DU drow isn't malicious in the way he yearns to be depended upon by his significant other, but it is an on-going point of tension in their relationship that needs to be continually addressed. I think if Astarion became disabled, that process would take twice as long and be thrice as hard, as he would have to to learn to juggle this significant life-change while also keeping his partner from completely and finally reducing him to a damsel in distress full-time. Yes, DU drow would ruin his own life and more to accommodate a disabled, or otherwise in-need Astarion - and yet Astarion would probably be far more uncomfortable and unhappy with that arrangement than if he didn't do that.
Ideally, both in this hypothetical and otherwise, DU drow can learn to be more than just his lover's lover and balance a relationship where he's caring, helpful, but understanding of someone wanting to value their own independence and otherwise not be completely smothered in love 🤷‍♂️ but yes, it would be way harder to achieve it in this situation - though not impossible!
Thank you so much for the interesting question!
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lillygamine · 5 months ago
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𝐿𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝒱𝑎𝑛𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑎
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♡ Warning:Female!Reader x Male!Yandere, Male!Wizard!Teacher, Mention of non-consensual relationship, Mention of Love Potion, Mention of NSFW, Mention of body transformation (Non-reader), Mention of torture and death (Non-reader ),Mention of non-kissing, Age difference (Reader: About 20 years || Yandere: About 40 years), Short Imagine ♡ Note:I don't speak English so I'm sorry for any mistakes in writing.
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When he closed his eyes, his mind was flooded with memories: His first spell, the first spellbook he read, the first potion he made, his achievements and his recognition. The feeling was still fresh in his mind, but it no longer seemed to have the same weight… everything had become so boring, being recognized as a prodigy, a great sorcerer, having his achievements recognized no longer seemed so interesting, on the contrary! It seemed boring and repetitive.
When everything became so boring, living alone became more attractive, not having to deal with people surrounding you, with their masks and words full of envy camouflaged with sweet praise and flattery… it was so predictable that it was unpleasant. So the Wizard decided to “retire”, live in a distant and distant village, where the peasants did not even know of his existence.
Life was peaceful, but the peace didn't last long… People started to appear at his door, sometimes to ask for potions and medicines, other times it was people who wanted to be his apprentices, and refusing didn't seem to keep them away, soon giving in the great mass of insistent and inconvenient people.
Becoming a teacher, he constantly had students circulating around his house and lands, insisting and insisting, testing his patience… They came and went, some couldn't stand his classes, his methods or his humor, which led them to give up; But he never cared, he was already tired, even in his 40s, he felt like he was too old for that (Although he hadn't even reached the age to worry about his age, since he was still in his prime, at least for a Wizard)
The Wizard didn't bother to keep names or faces, they never stayed for long, but you… you were different. When you arrived, asking to be his apprentice, he was as indifferent as ever, but there was something in your eyes, a flame so intense that it made his legs feel weak for a few seconds.
You were his best apprentice, you stood out in your small class of students, like a majestic flower that grew alone in a soil infertile with weeds. No matter what the challenge was, what his method or his orders were, you always dedicated yourself day and night to accomplish it, even if you sometimes failed, the sparkle in you eyes when he told you how you could do it or what you should improve, it was so intense that it could make anyone feel their heart miss a few beats.
He couldn't say when or how it started, but he wanted you, so intensely as if his life depended on it. One time he got closer to analyze a potion you were doing, he got close enough to smell you, you smelled like lavender and vanilla, it was so good he wanted to put his head on your neck and breathe deeply for hours, then From that day he recorded your smell in his brain, he can feel it when he closes his eyes. Another time, he found you sleeping under a tree, he knows he shouldn't have, but you slept so peacefully, you looked so beautiful, he couldn't help himself, he kissed you, and he felt like he was holding his breath until that moment, when he can finally breathe.
You had such soft lips, such a sweet taste, it seemed so unreal… He moved away when he felt you moving in your sleep, it was what he needed to regain his sanity, he left you as quickly as possible.
After that, everything got worse… his hunger, his desire for you were so intense that you haunted his dreams, every night he dreamed of you in his bed, it was so real… Your moans, Your heavy breathing, the softness of your body, your taste, your smell, the way your pussy squeezed around him. It was so intense, so real! He always woke up sweaty, flushed and with a painful and inconvenient erection that took a long time to disappear.
The Wizard made a decision, which would have you in his arms and planned in detail how to win you, but his plan was ruined before it was even put into practice, one of your colleagues, a young man your age, was surrounding you, making you laughing, touching your hands, touching your hair and then the Wizard felt his heart burn with fury.
You were his, his alone, and this disgusting little worm dared to try to take you from him? Of course he couldn't leave it like that…
In the following weeks, your colleague no longer appeared, and only he knew why; But with this little worm away from you, he could begin his plan and, just in case, he prepared something to facilitate his plan, a bubbling potion, Burgundy-colored and with a sweet smell reminiscent of honey, a few drops in your food, and in a few days you will think about him as intensely as he thinks about you. And as for your friend… well, salamanders have always been used as ingredients, but unlike the others, this one will have its limbs removed while it's still breathing…
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charmedreincarnation · 1 year ago
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Hey, guys! I've been receiving a ton of messages in response to my last post. It's reminding me of how I first discovered shifting. I feel like doing a little story time since Ive just passed the three-year mark of my discovery, and I've been reminiscing with friends about it.
I remember being in a very dark place when I stumbled upon shifting. I was depressed, and very suicidal. Yet, there was this unshakeable optimism inside me that I was meant for an extraordinary life. Despite my mental state, I had a lot of knowledge of subliminals and the law of attraction (-_-). These gave me hope, but they weren't enough tbh. I didn't want to attract my dream life through practicing gratitude or becoming a magnet for my desires or whatever. Nor did I want to have to listen to subliminals for years on end to achieve my goals. My list of desires was so long, and I needed everything to change that going step by step and waiting years for each one to manifest just wasn't feasible.
But I refused to give up. One day, after a particularly hard day of being sad per usual, I searched on Quora for something like "fastest most powerful subliminals on YouTube ever" (Y’all 😭😭). Among the recommended sub creators, I found a video called "Desired Life: Reality Shifting". The description promised everything I had ever wanted: waking up with all your desires fulfilled permanently in short. It piqued my curiosity so much. Could I really just wake up with my dream life, family, house, wealth, all based on my scripts and imagination?
Growing up, I was a heavy maladaptive daydreamer. From ages 10-17, I created alternate lives in my head, telling myself I would go there someday. I was always doing SATs (State Akin to Sleep), and I think that's what kept me from ending it all. I was constantly in the wish fulfilled state, even though I didn't know what that was at the time.
Back to my story, I went into the comments of that video and came across a guy who claimed that after a week of using this subliminal, he woke up with a new life as a multi-millionaire living in his dream penthouse. I messaged him, and he gave me his Instagram which showcased his luxurious life. He had what seemed like a perfect relationship, he was very attractive, had so many cars, and travelled 24/7 while having a six figures amount of followers. He was living proof that this wasn't just scripting. Also the law of attraction community is known for their mad expensive coaching.. like hundreds of dollars per hour for questions and he was answering it all for free something I didn’t see the law of attraction community. And I talked to him for hours! He never got mad, he had proof, and he was kind, proof and the behavior of someone who really had mastered the art of life.
After our conversation, I spent the next couple of months doing research. I found numerous stories about glitches in the matrix, accidental shifting, people entering parallel realities, and eventually, shifting communities on platforms like Amino and Reddit. It was stuff I already believed in and did in my imagination; I just didn’t know there was a term for it.
Then I got reminded of a memory that I had seriously repressed bc it was so fucking weird. When I was 6 and my brother was 3, we were absolutely obsessed with dodo birds. One day, we were outside playing, and on god time seemed to stop. Out of nowhere, a dodo bird appeared. I know you’re probably like “maya be so fr rn you were a kid” but no, This wasn't just our young imaginations running wild - there was a bird that was huge, dinosaur-like, exactly how dodos are described in books and pictures we had.
Then things got weirder. Suddenly it started raining eggs. Big, large eggs everywhere it was so gross and my brother and I were a mess. We were young, sure, but not stupid. We knew this wasn't normal. My brother and I rushed inside to tell our dad. When I managed to drag him outside, he was furious, accusing me of throwing eggs everywhere. To this day, he tells the story of the time I "trashed the backyard with eggs." And every time, I'm like, "Dad, where would I get that many eggs?" We didn’t have eggs but so he assumed I stole them and we went inside for hours and it was magically cleaned. So he also tells the story of how responsible I am and how I took accountability for my actions even as a child. I didn’t clean that shit bro and I tell him that too and he just laughs it makes me so mad.
My brother, who knows I'm into reality shifting (though he doesn’t really believe in it), can't explain that day either. He often shrugs it off as a "glitch in the matrix," which honestly, well no duh it is a shift dummie. He does believe in manifesting but only bc he has seen me use it and he experiences the good things I manifest as well. They’re the same thing anyways but that isn’t the point
The reason I'm bringing up this bizarre childhood memory is because during my months of research into shifting, I found countless stories of accidental shifts, people entering the void, entering parallel universes, time glitches, examples of the Mandela effect first hand, glitches in the matrix and etc. It was like uncovering a myriad of experiences that confirmed what I already believed: we can change and choose our reality. I just didn’t know the phenomena had a name. Obviously in the future I came across other things like the law of assumption, the void state, etc etc but this was where it started.
I wish I had saved all those fascinating stories, posts, and blogs. I might go back and compile everything I found because they were so real and enlightening. It will probably take forever tho if I do choose to do that, but I think it's worth sharing.
In the meantime, check out this accounts of accidental shifts that my friend shared with me this account https://instagram.com/tessicavision?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA== based off the Glitch in the Matrix subreddit which is also a goldmine of people experiencing similar phenomena. It helped me make sense of my own experiences and might do the same for you.
I don’t want this to be too long and I already got to the point I think! but regardless stay curious and realize you’re really not that special. I mean ofc you are, i mean this is not some tumblr thing teens girls discovered or created and isn’t even limited to “spiritually/manifesting inclined people” I think at the beginning of my journey people talking about accidental shifts and such, inspired me more than purposeful success stories because they really have no reason to lie and they were looking for answers just like I was.
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coca-lastic · 5 months ago
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Takami Keigo: 5 Red flags vs 5 Green flags
Characters: Takami Keigo (Hawks).
Mi first lenguage is not English btw
Part 2 with Bakugo?
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First of all, a relationship with Keigo can go very well or very badly. His life requires a very specific type of person, although he is not one to judge people and prefers to be optimistic when it comes to anything, it must be admitted that a person who is a little more "egoistic" could not stand the schedules, the dangers and harms that come with the hero's work.
In any case, if you are a person who, although you have flaws that might seem out of place with the style of life that has been imposed on Keigo, but you are still a person who is willing to do better, fight and resist for the relationship, believe me that the he will put the same as you and more.
Probably at the beginning there will be many problems, Keigo is not a man used to his life not being just for him, and perhaps you are not used to living with someone like him, but part of a relationship is learning, step by step and with a lot of time, love can change things if you use it well.
Of course, like any person, he has his good things and bad things.
🟥 Red Flags:
• At first he's a very independent and close person: Being independent can be a very good thing and a good sign, but when it comes to Keigo, it is not the same. His independence is too big to be considered a good thing, he has grown up and lived his entire life believing that he is the one against the world and only he has the right to know what is going through his mind, so it wouldn't be the kind of boyfriend who is asking your approval or telling you about his day. But he knows that that is not right, so I firmly believe that he would correct it to the point of telling you his problems.
• He's sarcastic: Come on guys, you could see this coming from the second this hero appeared on the screen and started making the most annoyed faces a face can make. It's not like he does it in a bad way often, but when arguments start he would get on your nerves with his sarcastic comments, probably minimizing the problems or making you look wrong, even stupid in the worst cases.
• You are the priority, but if people need him, he will leave: This is a very extensive topic and contains many reasons. You are the most important thing in his life, if you leave he would be totally devastated and depressed than anyone else could be, but he simply cannot reject the call, if his phone vibrates and they tell him that they need him he will already be acting the hero suit. It's not that he wants to leave you, it's that he can't stay, it's that he has been educated to always leave.
• He is jealous: Normally it is not something that bothers you, it can even be something that the two of you later make fun of in private, but there are some times that if he seems to be intense about it, he is not attracted to the idea of you leave, that you change him or that you abandon him, so although he always tries to keep himself in line, there are few cases in which he goes too far, when he marks someone as his rival he will forever be "the disgusting guy who wants with you", and he could say offensive things about him, start fights so that you stay away from him and even demonstrate his jealousy without any type of shame.
• "Is not that deep": I don't know why, but I'm very sure that Keigo would say this MANY times, like you may have told him that it's something that bothers you, or something that hurt you, or you're just telling him a story, and he responds with the damn "is not that deep." Partly it's because like I said before he won't tell you something just because it happened to him, so he doesn't understand why you're open about it.
OKAY BUT, he has hes beautiful Green Flags and all that, SO let's goOoOooOOoOOOoo
🟩 Green Flags
• He drives you to achieve and fulfill your own goals: He would be a man who not only asks, he also offers, he would never ask you to support him in his goal of a better and more relaxed world for those who are heroes without first supporting you in any goal that you have worn. You need money? He can give it to you, do you need to improve yourself? Ok, here he is to support you, do you just feel tired of trying? Well he will give you a reason to do it again.
• "Let's see each other even if it's just for 5 minutes?": He leads a busy life but he takes you into account in every second of it, it's true that it's hard for him to tell you about it, it's hard for him to open up, but he loves seeing you, even if he doesn't express it correctly, he loves to be there for you even though he may not tell you that he thinks about it, he loves to give you time even if it means more fatigue for his body.
• Stop having attitudes that make you feel bad: Did you read all the previous red flags? WELL HAWKS TROLL YOU BECAUSE HE CHANGE WHAT YOU ASK HIM TO DO, GIRL!!!! He would make an effort because he doesn't take it lightly, it is difficult and takes a lot of time, but he keeps trying.
• "I saw this and I remembered you": I repeat, Keigo takes you into account every second, even if at first he can't express it correctly. But he is a bird, he will bring you any stuffed animal, bracelet, candy, necklace, clothing or toy that he finds in a store and has a detail as beautiful as you.
• Hella touchy: Bro, if you don't consider this a good thing I'm really sorry but what the hell are you doing reading something about Takami Keigo, Get the fuck out of here! He will never have one hand far from you in moments of rest and time as a couple. A simple hand on your thigh while the two of you are eating or while he is finishing work papers, a few light cuddles on your hair while he is falling asleep, a hand on your cheek before kissing you, a hand on your waist to hug you, and if i keep going, I don't finish the list.
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zomtart · 2 months ago
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The Anatomy of a Stranger (Frank Castle x Fem!Reader)
This was supposed to be a fluff fic…oops!
Tuna-Tober Day 3: Broken
Pairing: Frank Castle x Fem!Reader
Content Warnings: reader and frank are broken up, second chance, ends happily…or does it:D
Word Count: 1.1k
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In simple words, the run-down diner was not where you wanted to be. You were given shitty hours, shittier pay, and the shittiest treatment from customers. The only upside was that it was close to your new apartment, so at least you didn’t have a long walk before you could crash into bed. 
Though lately, sleep felt like a scarce thing. All your classes had been scheduled early, an aspect that made you want to drop out of medical school more than you usually did. The promise of finally achieving your dream kept you going, even if you were doing it a little later than most aspiring doctors would. After your gap year had turned into a gap decade, you were certainly at a disadvantage from time. 
You were so focused on keeping your eyes open that you didn’t realize Frank had walked through the door and sat down at the table in the corner. All you knew was that the bell on top of the door had rung, and therefore you had someone to get a menu to. 
It was around two AM when you slid the laminated piece of paper to the table, your gaze fixed on your notepad as you pulled it out from your pocket and got ready to write. 
“Hello, what can I--”
The words died in your throat as you looked up and met Frank Castle’s gaze. The breath seemed to lock in your chest, a feeling of shocking numbness blooming across your body.
Frank didn’t fare much better, but he certainly had a skill at hiding it. While your mouth had fallen to the floor and sat there, he simply clenched his jaw, silent as he waited for you to gain your footing. You wish you could know what he was thinking. Did seeing you even affect him? Was he hurting like you were?
He looked like he always did, which was to say, like he just got the shit beaten out of him. A deep red mark ran across his nose, suggesting it was broken for the umpteenth time. He had a black eye, and at the edge of his collarbone where his shirt dripped down, a purple bruise peeked out across his skin. Even after all this time your hands itched to go towards him. To help. To heal, or, if that was impossible as it often was, to soothe. You still remembered the feeling of his skin like it was yesterday. The rough drag of it against your fingers. The way he’d pull your hand away when you traced a scar, like he could somehow shield you from the gallery of them right in front of you. Like you couldn’t handle it. Like you didn’t have scars of your own.
You tore your gaze away from his body and instead stared at your notepad. Nevermind the goddamn luck you wanted to curse the sky for, the luck that had placed Frank fucking Castle in this small-town diner when you hadn’t seen him in nearly two years. If you could just keep your eyes off him, maybe you could get through it.
You cleared your throat. “What can I get for you?” you ask, though you already knew the answer. The bastard had always needed constant caffeine for his nightly…endeavors. Part of you wished he had stopped doing that. Not that you thought about him.
“I’ll just have a black coffee, ma’am. Thank you.” 
You know he meant it as a show of respect, respect that you would show a stranger, but hearing that word out of his mouth made you want to slap him. How dare he call you that? Like he hadn’t ripped your life apart? Like he hadn’t known he was the only person in the entire world you felt understood you, really knew you, and then left you? What did he know about respect?
You simply gritted your teeth and nodded, turning around. As you walked back to the coffee bar you surveyed the diner, noting there was only one other patron in the diner besides Frank. There was a chef in the back, but you hardly saw him during these night shifts, the plates of hot food seemingly magically appearing after you leave an order slip. This was one of the only times you wished the place had been crowded so the noise could drown out the thoughts in your head. Mask the feeling you had gotten so good at pushing down. 
When you came back with his coffee, cursing yourself for how your hands shook when you set the mug down, he pitched his voice low and asked quietly, “You running the place all by yourself?”
“No.” you mumbled quietly, setting a couple sugar packets down on the table even though you knew he took it black. “Someone’s in the back.”
He nodded, looking around the diner again.
You should have left. You should have turned around and walked away. He wouldn’t order anything else. He’d stay there with his coffee for no more than an hour, and then he’d leave. You’d never have to see him again. 
You should have left.
“...you look like shit.” you said quietly. 
He laughed, and it was the best sound you’d ever heard. It was like sunshine after a long winter, or coming home after a vacation. 
“Yeah. Yeah, I know.”
“Are you…safe?” you said, and you wanted to kick yourself for how small you sounded. You hated to admit it, but you cared about him. You probably always would. The sight of his bruised face still made your chest tighten.
“I’m actually…” there was a long pause, and for some reason it felt hopeful. “Yeah. I’m safe. Think I’m…I’m done.”
“Done?” the word flew out of your mouth as soon as he said it. “Done? Done with…with…”
He shrugged, taking a sip from his coffee. You murmured something about how shitty the brew here was. He laughed again. 
“Yeah. Trying, at least. To be done.” 
“...oh.” 
“Yeah.” 
It should have been awkward. It probably was to anyone who would have watched, if the diner hadn’t been so empty. But it felt like you were back in your old apartment, curled up in bed with him. It was like when you knew someone so well that even silence felt like a conversation. That you had something that progressed beyond words. You thought that…thing had disappeared, that it had been broken beyond repair. But here it was, like it had never left.
@tunatober
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