#''Okay now she doesn't think she's a weapon! She has some self-worth!'' at the end of s4

[imminent-danger-came]

There ain't nothing Shera does that Lego Monkie Kid doesn't do better.

[gothearts]

On your Adam and Lute post, I don't think it would necessarily contradict the plot for them to both improve to the point that they can recognize what made their relationship bad from the start, and resolve to try again from square one. Couples therapy and all that. Though I understand entirely your PoV and what you're aiming for, and don't want this to come across as like, objectively critical of that. Just a thought.

No, you're okay! I enjoy feedback, so offering a counter to a point I've made is welcomed! I like being made to think lmao

The reason I still sort of feel like it would take away from it is the fact that Adam's arc is specifically about making peace with himself. (Lute is ever changing, Yay early stage development)

Adam was created to be in a relationship and has very little grasp on who he is as a person because of it. Lute is a third rebound for him. And that's not to say he doesn't care about her, or Eve. But he was originally told he was supposed to love Lilith, and not being able to fulfill that is the driving force for his feelings of inadequacy and self-destructive behavior.

If he's not being a good husband as God commanded, then what is his worth?

And Lute is similar. Exorcists have no sense of themselves outside of being weapons for heaven.

The thing with Lute is that I'm unsure if I want to keep her an antagonist for her entire arc or not. Because as much as I really do truly enjoy fandom interpretation of a redemption for Lute's character, I find villain Lute to be more interesting.

She's a zealot and a desperate one at that. She worked so hard to get to rank number one among the troops. It paid off when Adam fell and she took his place. And that was never the goal, and that didn't mean his death didn't devastate her.

It jaded her. And it made her even more determined in that role to make hell pay. She sees no meaning outside of being a tool for heaven.

As much as his death hurt her, it signified a new beginning for her. That maybe, she could be more than just an exorcist now. She's the leader of the whole heavenly host now!

If she can't be a good warrior and keep heaven safe, then what is her worth? (This likely also stems from witnessing Aggie's fall ngl)

She failed, Adam. And that's going to cause a hard-core doubledown. One that might be her undoing.

HOWEVER.

I don't want to entirely shut down your point because it still is an interesting route. So let's explore it.

Lute coming face to face with Adam in hell, who tries talking some sense into her which ends up sending her into a crisis, making her question everything she knows.

If someone as loyal as Adam, as unyielding in his righteousness as Adam, and as eager to protect heaven as Adam could end up down here...

Then what does that mean for her?

(Mind you, it's very biased because we, as the viewers, know the tally of things that contradicted that.)

She could rationalize Aggie's fall. Aggie was weak. Aggie's swordfighting was mediocre. Aggie was always failing training modules.

But Adam..?

And now she's got to choose between heaven and Adam, because Adam IS a sinner now, who's the target of the extermination?

Let's say she picks Adam. Then, just like Aggie, she'd fall and have to come to terms with the fact that it does not matter how hard she could ever try for heaven. She's just as expendable as anyone else.

Just an Exorcist.

But she clings into Adam, who at this point has had time to work on himself and realize how not normal this is. She follows him around, waiting on his every command, eager for any kind of normalcy after such a crushing blow.

And he can't even be mad at her because this IS what was normal. She's just falling into routine.

He tries to let her down easy. He tries to suggest things to do as an offer, but she takes it as a command that must be done. It's a test to his own growth because he's still falling back into "Lilith wouldn't make me feel this way".

And he likely ends up snapping at her, and all the building resentment pours out. He wants a partner, not a subordinate. He wants someone who challenges him. Who drives him wild with late night banter and offers a new perspective to life. He doesn't want to go back to the cookie-cutter religious family tropes.

Because then he's not sure if she loves him for him, or if she loves him because she has no other comparison of what love could be.

And he's come too far to fall back into that again.

Lute truly doesn't know either because the more time she spends with Adam in hell, the more she realizes how little she actually KNEW him. The more she realizes how little they actually have in common when they're not in a militaristic situation.

And she totally just threw away her whole life in heaven for him!

So yeah.. Luael crisis 2.0

And enter Aggie. Because if anybody is going to get it, it's Aggie. I like to think Aggie would drag Lute's sorry depressed ass onto the sparring field Charlie lovingly installed for her and would help Lute work through her feelings via sword.

Carmilla's lesson helped Aggie thrive, and it frustrates Lute because it challenges all of her preconceived notions of who Aggie was. First Adam and now the angel she was literally raised with. She was eager for a one and done match like in the past, but Aggie keeps thoroughly destroying her through her own newfound confidence while Lute flounders about without the use of her wings.

It frustrates Lute to no end. Not good enough to be in heaven, not good enough to be with Adam, and not even good enough to take down Agiel!

She's at her witts end.

And Aggie could take this moment to kick her when she's down. It could have been cathartic. But deep down, that's still her sister. Through all the hurt and the pain, Aggie still loves her. She's not ashamed of it anymore because compassion isn't a weakness. Sometimes, it can be the greatest strength.

She gives Lute the same kind of lesson Carmilla taught her. It does finally break through to Lute.

They end up sparring every day with it becoming more if a release than a necessity. It becomes more about bonding with Aggie than trying to be the best.

Eventually, Aggie would take Lute to meet Carmilla, and Carmilla would take Lute under her wing, too.

And poor Luael thought Aggie whooped her ass.. she's in for a world of hurt with Miss Carmine. She does get frustrated, but before she can lash out, Carmilla tells her that her spirit is there.

But that her footwork is atrocious.

And she's being pushed back up onto her feet before she can process, and Carmilla is taking her hand guiding her.. and oh.. what's this feeling...?

My take on Carmilla is that once you're in her circle.. she is mama. Aggie is in her circle. Her growing bond with Aggie has softened her heart and made room for Lute who's clearly important to Aggie.

Carmilla sees Lute for what she really is beneath her bravado, and she deconstructs her bit by bit and builds her back up only the way a mother truly can.

Lute starts coming to see her without Aggie, seeking that growing bond and gentle but firm guidance. Carmilla gets her to start opening up to her, resulting in her venting about Adam and how she gives her all for him and doesn't feel like she gets it back.

Carmilla gets it. (Things to be expanded upon in the future)

She'd talk with Lute through it and would get her to open up to Adam's perspective on the situation, not absolving him of fault, but making Lute reflect.

And Lute, after having experienced these new kinds of relationships and love, would realize she's right. And Adam is too. She's got to learn to find value in life outside of him.

Then Carmilla asks her what SHE likes outside of fighting, and she truly doesn't know.

No hobbies to speak of outside of what she can do with Aggie. Parties are Adam's thing. Playing the guitar is Adam's thing. Hell, even gardening was more something Adam liked!

She's got nothing.

For the next couple visits, Carmilla doesn't focus on sparring with her. They focus on exploration.

Lute learns that she really likes creative endeavors. Painting, cooking, writing. She's not the best at it, and she doesn't have to be. It's something new outside of onlu creating carnage that's hers to enjoy. If she burns the box mix cupcakes? Well.. it's not like cake pops aren't just as good. Oh, they're goopy and falling apart? Well, that's okay because they taste good.

She doesn't know how to properly format her stories and poetry? That's okay because just putting something on paper was freeing to her.

She draws crayon stick figures that barely resemble what she had in mind? It's still wall worthy because effort went into it.

She comes in on another visit to find Carmilla dancing with Odette and Clara, and it just takes her breath away.

The way they move across the studio is so elegant, but there's still something strong and deadly about the way they glide.

Lute asks Carmilla to teach her too. She's clumsy. The newly broken in ballet flats are awkward and she keeps falling on her ass. But she's not belittled or met with mockery.

These three have been doing this for years. They give her that same patience, and she thrives.

A few months of this pass, and she comes to Aggie all eager to show her all she's learned. She doesn't approach it with superiority like she might have in the past, there's just the pure delight of sharing something she genuinely enjoys.

Aggie asks her to show her how, and the two laugh and dance together as Aggie tries her best to mimic ballet stances in her regular flats.

Meanwhile Adam is having his "Oh fuck oh fuck, I pushed away another person I was meant to love!" Moment, because he does feel bad about snapping at Lute.

He has Lucifer and Lilith to keep his head on straight and keep him from regressing into old habits. And he gives Lute space instead of holding a grudge.

It pays off when, after months of her self exploration, Lute approaches Adam. Adam isn't sure how it'll go, and his heart is literally in his throat.

But then she smiles at him and asks him if they can start over as friends. And he visibly relaxes because friends.. he'd like that.

From there, Lute introduces him to all the new things she's into, and they find common ground over baking and cooking. They make some truly horrendous abominations in the early stages (Adam thoroughly enjoys Lucifer's suffering every time Lute asks him to try out what they're making, because the poor thing can never bring himself to say no. They're on good terms but Adam isnt above exploiting Lucifer's pride.)

They improve together. Through arguing about what's the right amount of sugar in a pie to competing to see who can roll out pasta dough the fastest, they begin to let go of the expectations of past and truly enjoy each other's company.

And they do authentically fall for each other.

Both confessions come through a shaky, frosting printed cake and a poorly structured poem with even worse penmanship, but it's those genuine acts that show each other they're the one.

(Pry hopeless romantic Adam and Lute from my cold dead hands.)

I don't know if I'll go this route. It may be an au within an au because there's so many characters to work with that I worry about it getting clunky as much as I worry about consistency.

But Adam and Lute's relationship has been one of the more insisted on topics so far, so hey, I'll indulge.

Sorry for the long ramble 😭

[felixcloud6288]

Higurashi: Festival Accompanying Chapter 10

While Irie stresses over Satoko's fate, everyone else in the research facility seems to be completely unbothered. Takano had to request permission from Tokyo to have Satoko dissected and Tokyo approved it. So ratting Takano out wouldn't have resolved anything. I guess the ethics committee tends to be underfunded when you're working for a military organization interested in creating bio-weapons.

Irie carries the weight of his sins for killing a man one year ago for his research. He's stated repeatedly to himself how he will one day stand in judgment for it. And now he's weighing his options to decide how to oppose Satoko suffering the same fate as the the 1979 ringleader.

This is a story about redemption, forgiveness, and second chances. Irie's story doesn't have the supernatural elements that everyone else's does, but this recurring theme is still there. The most difficult thing for him is he doesn't have any options that truly can save Satoko. At best, he can only ensure she doesn't suffer a slow death as a test subject.

Okay, I lied. There is ONE supernatural element to Irie's story.

Rika is Oyashiro's priestess and has relived this event multiple times. She isn't hiding how she knows what Irie is planning to do. There are likely several timelines where Irie attempted to escape the clinic with Satoko only to be killed by the Wild Dogs.

Back in Massacre, Rika noted that the village coming together to save Satoko made her realize that miracles aren't made by one person. By the end of that arc, she'd managed to bring all her friends together to fight destiny. And now it feels like Rika is working to gather more allies as well.

It's worth noting that this is a Rika from the distant past. She doesn't have the memories of the Massacre arc. We're not seeing Rika preparing to face Takano in this timeline. We're seeing her planting seeds. She already reached out to Akasaka. Now she's attempting to reach out to Irie.

Of course, there could be some bit of the cumulative Rika or Frederica Bernkastel's will being exerted on this Rika. I've mentioned a few times in Massacre that I think the timeline is somewhat fluid and will self-correct itself based on Rika's actions and will.

I've kind of realized while writing this that I'm applying Takano's own belief to what Rika is doing. Takano said an absolute will shall create an absolute future. And now I'm arguing that Rika has an absolute will and it's paving the way to the absolute future where she lives beyond June 1983.

Back in Atonement, Rika forgave Keiichi for killing Mion and Rena. She did that because there was no way for Keiichi to atone for it. When Rika approached Irie in this chapter, she didn't talk about forgiveness or atonement. There's no actual need for that. Irie is at a point where he's trying to forge his own path to redemption, he just doesn't have an idea how, and maybe he doesn't know if he deserves redemption.

Rika offers to be Irie's test subject in Satoko's place so he can develop a cure for Hinamizawa Syndrome. And the only reason he ultimately accepts her offer is because she believes in his ability and that he is still a good person at heart despite everything he's done.

I'm looking at Rika on the operating table and all I can think is "You guys need to shave her head before you start." Irie is about to cut open Rika's skull to inspect her brain. They pulled her hair into a braid, but she still has way too much loose hair from her bangs.

She's going to wake up and complain of a headache and when they do an x-ray on her, her brain is going to have the same bangs she does.

NIPA BEAM!!!

back

[thatonegaybastard]

Sinc dive changed slot uhh and I'm makimg A canon timeline for these guys eventually here is. A bunch of canon stuff about the guys! Except in this ppost im only doing the humans. Because its long and my tablets gonna die soon

Humans!

Jay - he/they

Witch of Breath but I might change his class. Derse dreamer. He is into all things music and likes to program. Theyre moriails or however you spell it with Drizee because yeah. Might be dating Jess or at least has at some point????? I haven't really decided

Hes a pretty nice guy! He just likes to chill out and make silly little songs that suck but that's okay. He always sees the good in others , buthe is a rather gullibld and naive. He also tends to act without thinking. More of an impulse emotion woah!!! Kinda guy I guess

Chumhandke will probably be like. waltzingBass or something along that lines because that's normally his chumhandle in the sim.

He has a brother that is in college. His brother is a LOSERMAN but that's okay. Loser Bro likes terrifying things like Horrorterrors and Anime.

Jay has a very rough time the entire session. Im not really sure what. if will be yet. Maybe the whispering of the horrorterrors or Abbysprite (idrk much about Abby ) or something just kinda makes him flip his lid A lot? And for some reason he goes murder mode and rap battles with Drizee, who he doesn't really get along with st this point. The rap battle sucks and he gets frustrated and goes to attack Drizee, but Drizee manages to calm him down and hes morialislsk wit them after that. He also probably dies but he gets godtier muagnw! Im not really sure if. Ill make goditer canom

Not sure if ill make this canon or not but I think after he enters the medium he would have realized he doesn't have a strife specibus and panic and add the nearest thing to his strife deck so now he has like. Chairkind or something. His sprite is Abbysprite, @/.scorittanius Plato's oc. Speaker of the furthest ring. From one of his bros books

Jess - she/her

Theif of Heart but I'm definitely gonna change her class. Prospit dreamer iirc? She likes fanfictiom and heros and silly romantic thingslike shipping. Might have dated Jay at some poimt. Im not sure yet

She's tends to act more cheerful and happy like ":)" all the time. Like Jay she sees the good in people, and she's willing to give everyone a second chance She has low self esteem and tends to base her worth on what others think of her. Awkward little mess who hates herself lowkey. Espically loves cute things

Her chumhandle is thorsHero or thorsHeart or something. thorsHammer? Ill probably change it wit her class though

Havent decided any family for her yet. Or any particular strife specibus. Maybe she could like combine her weapon with this pen she has its one of those pens with a big pom pom at the end and she combines it and has a big pom pom weapon.

In the session she has to deal with Heart aspect bullshit like evil clones of yourself that try to kill you and a.maze of mirrors that mock you and stuff like thst. Its like therapy but really weird

Susan - she/her

Slyph of Light, prospit dreamer. Loves action movies and gardening. Obviously she and Jess binge superhero movies together. She is eespically good friends with Olly. Or maybe they're in love. Who knows! I don't know.

She is very hopeful and very lucky. She's like. The nice,kind of boring girl at your school. she likes to help out people and she's more the quiet side. Even though she's pretty good with people, she doesn't like spending TOO much time around them. She looks like she exclusively listens to country songs and religious song but she actually exclusively listens to edgy internet songs and ghost and pals. Her favorite is Honey I'm Home.

I forgot her chumhandle 💀

I haven't actually decided any family but they'd definitely be VERY ANNOYING TO HER.

I never really decided A strife specibus but she'd definitely have Spadekind. Beat things up with her shovel

In the session she ends up helping out Olly grow and get more powerful and stuff alongisde Lurzar. Might be there when Olly godtiers but that feels more like a Lurzar thing because lurzars the knight. Also she's gonna die at some point. I don't know if I wanna permadie her because I'm attached to her :(

Olly - she/they

Page of Space, derse dreamer. Likes Detectives and DnD stuff and the ocean alot. Good friends with Susan. Besties even.

Olly is very quiet and doesn't really emote alot. She radiates cool energy even if she is kinda a dork. Theyre so.cool. not like Dave strider cool though. Like. Jyst A cool person. Theyre nice and care about others slot stuff like that I do t know I'm bad st describing personalities

i also forgot her chumhandle

Has a dad and she had a mom but her joint died when she was little totally not from a mmeteor. No wot hats silly why would it be a meteo

I don't really know her strife specibusw. I do know her sprite though! She has a big whale plush she calls her noble steed and they protrude that to get Whalesprite.

okay i! At like 9%

[crescentbea02]

I've been seen so many people hating on Wandering Blade from all around the place ever since kung fu panda the dragon knight was released and while I understand where some of those opinions are coming from and while I agree with some, I think we have to look beyond her character dynamic and dig deeper into her.

Again this is pretty much just my view on her character and of course not everyone thinks the same as I do. It's just my perspective.

First off I very much don't agree with the idea that Blade is just a copy of Tigress. I don't see what they have in common besides being hardcore, no nonsense and having a lot of thick skin. Their goals, moviations, trauma and the way they cope with it is completely different. If you want to compare Blade to a character it makes more sense comparing her to Shifu (I have a whole essay on this actually).

Now, Blade was indeed cruel to Po in the series. Because she found Po and his antics to be a bareer to the goal caused by the trauma of watching her brother being killed in front of her AT 8 YEARS OLD and living with the guilt thinking it was her fault. Her motivation ever since her brother was killed has been to avenge his death and to fix the mistake she made. Because it wasn't just watching her brother die in front of her (which by itself is already pretty traumatizing). It was also thinking that if it wasn't for her he would still be alive and living with that guilt since she was 8 years old.

I dont think Blade ever disrespected Po and his abilities in a "I dont like you because I am a respected knight so I am better than you" way. I think it all comes to the fact that Blade is extremely impatient and hyperfocused on fixing the mistake she's made. Her character arc is she learning that there is more in her than fixing things that can't be undone at all costs. She found Po and his antics to be a bareer from her and her goal that would eventually bring her peace (like Shifu *winks*). Thats why she always got so mad, because she had no time to waste and Po's contrasting personality would be, to her, one more obstacle that she had to face, and she had to focus on her mission at all costs. Even after Po proved that he was actually useful.

Blade's cold and high strung personality ends up also being a mask because of her self doubt and her need to prove herself. By saying that she was a knight, she could have the chance of everyone to know her worth and to respect her. And it also reflects what she thinks it is to be a knight "Knights dont relax" "Knights don't have fun" "Knights don't have feelings". She takes what she thinks being a knight is and hides herself in it. But thats not her true self, and we can also see that by the way she opens up with Po way quicker than Tigress (we also have to stop comparing the two relationships considering Po and Tigress know each other for years and Po and Blade for days), has break downs and is very vulnerable

And (taking away the fact that I also have issues with the way her character was developed) she grows in the story. Before abandoning Po she says that if she had ever have to choose between him and her mission she would choose the mission. And as she eventually learns to enjoy Po's company and he gains her trust, when the weasels escaped them and Veruca blackmails her to make Blade say where the whip is by threatening Po with the gauntlet, he tells her to not let another weapon go because of him. And yet, Blade chooses to tell where the whip just in order for Po to be safe. In other words, she ends up choosing him over the mission.

We have to understand that Blade didn't just want to arrest Klaus and Veruca. She was blinded by it, she lived her life for that.

Again this is just my persoal view in this ^^ its okay to disagree. I very much hope in season 2 we see a less impatient and more genuine Blade that doesn't constantly blames herself for his brother's death. And I hope she realizes that she is indeed more than her mission.

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #196

Today on Fate and Phantasms we're building the last of the Three Goddesses Alliance, Ereshkigal! (It took her long enough to show up.)

Eresh is a Grave Cleric for relatively obvious reasons, as it lets her do pretty much everything she does- raise the dead, care for the dead, raise the dead properly, cause earthquakes, and start pandemics. Maybe don't do that last one right now, we're kinda busy with one already. It's a shame Soul Cage is a wizard spell, but pobody's nerfect.

Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

Next up: Now all of China knows you're on the naughty list.

Race and Background

Ereshkigal is part chthonic god, part human thanks to being a pseudoservant, that means Fallen Aasimar is a pretty good choice for her. You get Darkvision, Celestial Resistance to radiant and necrotic damage, Healing Hands to heal with your hands, and the Light cantrip to help the mortals with their dumb mortal eyes, using Charisma to cast it.

She's also the Three Goddess' Representative on behalf of humanity, trying to squirrel some away to prevent them from being entirely wiped out. This gives her proficiency with Intimidation and Religion, as well as an extended spell list we'll go over as it comes up. If you're wondering about the Intimidation: Yes the fandom thinks she's cute now, but you have to remember she's still a god of death. Most people aren't going to be as chill with her.

Ability Scores

Wisdom is first, Ereshkigal spent millennia honing her art alone in the underworld, so either she has a super high wisdom or an incredibly low one. But high wisdom works better for the build, so we'll go with that. Second is Charisma- some people love you, some people are terrified of you, those are both charisma. Your Dexterity is also solid, because your armor is not. Your Constitution is above average because while we don't need it for the build have you SEEN her HP stat? Your Intelligence is okay. You're not dumb, we just need other stuff more. Finally, dump Strength. You're a bit awkward with that spear, but we'll get some stuff to make it work later.

Class Levels

You're 100% Grave Cleric, so we'll just get into it. Starting off in this subclass gets you proficiency with Wisdom and Charisma saves, as well as Persuasion to show off your awkward charms and History because you're literally older than the written word. At first level you also enter the Circle of Mortality, so your healing spells automatically heal for max HP on creatures with 0 HP, and you get a suped-up version of the Spare the Dying cantrip that uses a bonus action and has a thirty foot range. You also get Eyes of the Grave, meaning you can sense undead creatures within 60' of you if they're not behind cover. It won't tell you about their identity though, so make sure you don't pick a fight with Strahd, you're still only level one. You can do this Wisdom modifier times per long rest. Starting in a spellcasting class also gets you Spells, surprise surprise, and having a Ravnica background gets you even more. Being a grave cleric gets you Bane and False Life for free, giving you easy access to curses and HP boosts early in the game. Something I want to bring up about the ravnica background before we move forward: I misread how these backgrounds work before. They add spells to your class' spell list, not your spells known. That means builds where you pick spells every level only get the opportunity to learn those spells, they don't just get all of them for free. Clerics can prepare spells from their spell list every long rest anyway so it's not a big difference here, but it is something I'll have to go back and fix for the other members of the alliance and Ishtar. Anyways, you get Illusory Script added to your spell list, not exactly something you'll probably use. For spells you can actually choose, grab Resistance for a goddess core that adds 1d4 to your next save, Thaumaturgy for when you need to get dramatic with extra magical effects, and Toll the Dead to do just that for some necrotic damage. You can also choose to prepare spells like Command to flex your authority and Protection from Evil and Good to flex on your sister.

Second level clerics can Channel Divinity once per short rest in two flavors. Turn Undead takes care of undead that fail their wisdom save, and Path to the Grave will clear out anything else. Spend your action to curse a creature, giving vulnerability to the next attack that hits it. Rules as written you can't target a mountain with this, and you definitely can't get the bonus for an Earthquake spell, but I'd allow it for the cool factor. Alternatively, you can Harness Divine Power to spend one use of Channel Divinity for an extra spell slot which is a level equal to or less than half your proficiency bonus. You can do this once per long rest, but that will grow as your Channel Divinity uses do.

Usually your third level doesn't get you much of anything as a cleric, but since you're a fallen aasimar you get a Necrotic Shroud, spending an action to get really spooky for a minute. Mechanically, this is your big ghostly form, and it'll frighten nearby creatures that fail a charisma save, and for the minute you're transformed you'll deal an extra bit of necrotic damage once per turn. You can go ghost once per long rest. You also get second level spells now, including your freebies Gentle Repose to prevent people from rising back as zombies and Ray of Enfeeblement, which weakens a creature's weapon attacks for up to a minute. They can make a constitution save to shrug it off, but not until the after the spell's already hit, so at least you'll get your money's worth. Thanks to your background you can also learn the spell Enthrall, making it harder for people to notice anyone but you. As someone who's existed in this fandom for any period of time, I can confirm Ereshkigal definitely has this ability. You can also prepare spells like Spiritual Weapon to have a spear that actually hits good and Protection from Poison for more goddess core shenanigans. Finally, make sure you pick up Silence. I'm still not entirely sure how we'll build Tiamat, but that should help shut off her immortality.

At fourth level you get your first Ability Score Improvement, which won't actually be improving your ability scores. grab the Eldritch Adept feat for the Armor of Shadows invocation so you can cast mage armor on yourself for free. You also learn how to cast Friends to make it easier to make friends and terrify your enemies.

Fifth level clerics get third level spells, including your freebies Revivify and Vampiric Touch. You're the god of the dead, so people should only really die when you want them to. Alternatively, you can Animate Dead to summon some skeletons for your own uses. You can also use Spirit Guardians to get more ghostly defenses. They'll slow down creatures of your choice in your area, and if they fail wisdom save they'll take radiant and/or necrotic damage, with it getting halved if they succeed.

At sixth level you get a second use of Channel Divinity per short rest, and a second use of Harness Divine Power per long rest. You also become a Sentinel at Death's Door, shutting down a critical hit near you as a reaction, turning it into a regular attack Wisdom Modifier times per long rest. Sure, you can bring people back later, but this is way less expensive.

Seventh level clerics get fourth level spells, like Blight and Death Ward. It is really hard for flowers to grow in the underworld. You can also use Leomund's Secret Chest thanks to your background, or you can prepare Banishment to throw Tiamat back where she came from, use Guardian of Faith for more ghosts, and leave an Aura of Purity around you to give your allies the blessings of Kur.

Eighth level clerics get another ASI, and this one will improve your ability scores. Kinda. We're grabbing another feat, but being Shadow Touched will improve your Wisdom by one point. It lets you cast Invisibility or Disguise Self once per long rest for free, or you can cast either spell as if it were a normal spell on your spell list. Now you can really make yourself look ghostly, if a bit undersized for your boss fight. Your destroy undead also bumps up to hit CR 1 creatures, but that'll blow up your skeletons as well, so be careful with it. Finally, Potent Spellcasting adds your wisdom modifier to your cleric cantrip damage. Nobody can toll the dead harder than the god of the dead.

Ninth level cleric, fifth level spells. Antilife Shell prevents anyone from getting too close to you, though it also means you can't get close to them without breaking the spell. It's almost poetic. Anyway, you also get Raise Dead, which is like revivify but with a more lenient time frame. You can also instigate your very own christmas event now with Contagion! This spell poisons a target, and at the end of each of its turns it has to make a Constitution save. After succeeding three throws, the spell ends. If it fails three throws, it gets a disease for the rest of the week. The closest thing to Sumerian Flu is probably Filth Fever, which gives disadvantage on saves, checks, and attacks that use strength, but there's all sorts of diseases you can give people. Technically this isn't a contagious disease, but talk to your DM, I'm sure you can work something out. You can also use Hallow to turn your room into a little slice of the underworld, shutting down your sister even further.

Tenth level clerics can invoke Divine Intervention with a 1 in 10 chance of getting a free favor from your god. Your god is you, technically, but it'll make more sense later. You can use this once per day, but it takes a week to recharge after it actually works. You can also cast the Light cantrip now. You could do it before, but now it's stronger.

Destroy Undead grows to hit CR 2 undead, and you can cast sixth level spells. Create Undead makes stronger undead for your army. Sadly dinosaur skeletons aren't available, so you'll just have to settle for ghouls. At higher levels you still won't get dinosaurs, but you can get ghasts, wights, and even mummies! Just be careful you don't stop recasting the spell, mummy rot can be rough. You can also summon a Heroes' Feast for more blessings from Kur, and you can take on an Otherworldly Form for another ghost transformation. This spell makes you immune to fire and poison damage as well as the poisoned condition. You can fly 40' per round, get +2 to AC, and you can attack with weapons using your wisdom twice per attack action. You're stuck with the UA version of this spell, so it takes an action, but on the plus side this just gives you an excuse to use Spiritual Weapon more.

Use this ASI to bump up your Constitution for more health. Health gets added retroactively, so you get +12 HP now instead of just +1. It's pretty nice.

Seventh level spells! Resurrection further cements your control over death with a time limit of a century, and you can also Plane Shift yourself (or an enemy) into the underworld.

Destroy Undead hits CR 3 creatures now. Not even mummies can stand up to your power!

Fifteenth level clerics get eight level spells. If silence won't keep Tiamat down, Antimagic Field should do the trick. The one problem there is it's only a 10' sphere around you, and you rely on magic way more than Tiamat does. You can also cause Earthquakes, turning a very large area into difficult terrain, disrupting concentration, knocking creatures prone, and destroying structures in the area. The one problem here is that you can't fly, so be careful where you're pointing that thing.

Yet another ASI. Use this one to finally max out your Wisdom for super strong spells and better protection from crits.

If you make it to level 17, you get the super powerful ninth level spells. Also, Destroy Undead hits CR 4 creatures, and you become a Keeper of Souls, stealing away some of a dying enemy's soul to heal an ally based on the creature's hit dice once per turn. Right though, ninth level spells. True Resurrection brings someone back even if they've been disintegrated 199 years ago. It's expensive, but you can always grab some gems from your sister if you're pressed for cash. The benefits of sharing a body.

At eighteenth level you get a third Channel Divinity and another use of Harness Divine Power. Really get those paths to the grave filled, it's kind of your thing.

Use your last ASI to grab the Tough feat for 38 HP now and another 2 next level. You have one of the highest HP stats in the game, this only makes sense.

Your capstone level is an improvement to your Divine Intervention. You know how I keep bringing up multiclassing as a con when we include cleric levels? This is why. Your divine intervention now always succeeds. Period. I mean, it makes sense. You are the god giving you power. But yeah, you get guaranteed god-level power freely given as an action. You truly have the power of god and anime on your side.

Pros and Cons

Pros:

Clerics have a good variety of spells, and you take it even further with your background. You can heal but you're not completely hosed on your own like Medea Lily, you can deal damage and still do stuff outside of combat unlike your sister, and you have utility without your build being dominated by it like Hundred Personas.

You might not be good in a one on one fight, but you don't get into those that often thanks to your skeleton army. If you just dedicate harnessing divine power to keeping them in line, you can have nine extra bodies on the field to turn the action economy in your favor.

Even when we're not talking about spells, you're still really supportive of your team. Shutting down critical hits and stabilizing your allies quickly will seriously improve the longevity of your party.

Cons:

Dabbling in so many areas of magic means you're unfocused, so you won't excel in any one. You won't heal as much as Medea, deal as much damage as Ishtar, or be a skill monkey like Hundred Personas.

You also rely on magic completely for combat, which means stepping into an anti-magic zone can be deadly. This is especially bad for you, since an anti-magic zone will probably be the best way to deal with Tiamat.

You might have an undead army, but your best spells are area of effect and you're a cleric. Destroy Undead is kind of a big deal for you.

[mac-darf]

I'm wondering, ik Wanda has a crazy amount of fans that view her as perfect and without flaw but is she a villain/anti-hero within the MCU?

Like. Okay. When we first meet her she's working with Nazis, to try and kill superheroes. That's bad. Especially since these heroes had literally just saved the world two years earlier. You can bring up her parents being killed, and yes while that is insanely tragic and anyone else might do the same in a quest to kill Tony Stark, he did become a super hero? Tony has sins and him being Iron Man doesn't automatically make up for it, but he's trying. It's not like he killed Wanda's parents, laughed evilly and then killed an orphan. He wasn't aware of how his weapons were actually used to, ya know, kill people bc he's rich and he's never seen conflict. As soon as he does he shuts that shit down and saved the world. We as an audience should be on his side, therefore, Wanda is a villain in Age of Ultron.

But near the end of the movie she realized Ultron plans to kill all humans and she turns against him. Does this make her good, or does his just mean she has basic self-preservation? I'm going with self-preseevation. However at the end when she becomes an Avenger she clearly has made a jump to hero, so yeah. She's good then. Despite working with Nazis, Hawkeye thinks she's cool so she joins the band of heroes.

Then in Civil War she throws a bomb into a building and kills several Wakadan officials. Many have and will continue to argue that their is no where else she could've thrown the bomb. If you truly believe this you are insane. Her actions are the final straw with freelance superheroes. However, while this was completely stupid of her, it was a mistake and she was doing it as a hero. She takes her punishment for being stupid and killing a buildings worth of people well, until she decides to beat up her boyfriend and that she doesn't deserve to be punished. The movie treats this like a hero moment, but if this happened irl she would be a terrorist who escaped prison. Not good. Anti-hero at best.

Then in infinity war she just wants to protect her boyfriend, despite her kicking the shit outta him in the last movie because he was worried she'd stupidly bomb another building. Her wanting to protect him is just what a normal person would do. Her willingly killing him to save the universe is heroic af. She's a real hero in this movie.

She's barely in endgame so I'm just gonna say she's acts like a normal person in it. Because she does.

Then in Wandavision she commits the greatest act of domestic terrorism the world will ever see, because she was sad. She tortures an entire town and locks children in their rooms for several months just because she really missed her boyfriend you guys! This is true villain shit. Plus she steals dark magic book. Dark magic isn't a good thing.

(Now were getting into NWH post credits)

Wait nvm the whole Wandavision thing didn't matter because Doctor Strange asks for her help?? Maybe it's taken out of context and Strange will care more about in rhe movie but based off this teaser it seems like no one cares about what Wanda does, regardless of how selfish and evil it is. Wtf.

I think she might be an anti-villain? Since she isn't a villain according to the heroes but does some seriously intensely fucked up shit even after she rejects the Nazis, which was supposed to be her turning point from hero to villain. But in the universe no one seems to care about what evil acts she does so. Anti-villain. Ig. Idk. I can't wait for the herd of Wanda's fans to misunderstand this post and think I'm attacking this literal Nazi terrorist when I'm just trying to understand how the writers want us to view her.

[redfoxwritesstuff]

This is not okay.

It isn't okay, not because Red is one of my best friends, my writing partner in crime or because she's an actual ray of fucking sunshine but it isn't okay because this is not how you treat another human being.

You think you're some ace savior, bullying an Alastor smut writer? Trying to push them from the fandom? All you're doing is hurting the ace fanbase, the countless ace fans who see in Alastor a way to represent themselves in all the complex ways an ace person may experience a relationship, sexual or romantic. Through Alastor, they can play with the idea that it's okay to be ace and still want to satisfy their partner's needs, to find a way to balance the needs of both, that if they've weaponized sex in the past that doesn't make them less ace and so many other ways sex can exist within the ace experience.

You're hurting your community. You're hurting the countless ace readers Red has. You're hurting yourself.

We know the blog who kicked this off, they're not being identified because they're 18 and I firmly want to believe they're simply misguided and mean the best for their community.

Now, speaking as the head of the VoxTek discord- if I may

Should we find any of our members are participating in *any* hate campaign, no matter how well deserved you may think it is, you will be yeeted posthaste. I don't care, the other admins don't care- there is NEVER a good reason to send this sort of bullshit into someone's inbox.

That being said, Anon hate will *not* be tolerated in our corner of the fandom. Should anyone be on the receiving end of anon hate, I encourage to block, delete and if threatening or harassing, report. Reach out to your creative peers, lean on each other for support.

Anon hate is cyber bullying and more than half of the states in the USA have amended their Harassment laws to cover cyber bullying.

In some states you can be legally held responsible for the death of someone who you have bullied who went on to take their own life. Think about that- is a murder charge worth the thrill of flooding someone with hate? Is 10 years to the rest of your life worth it?

If you or someone you love is on the receiving end of cyberbullying or at risk of self harm, here are some resources:

USA: https://www.stopbullying.gov/resources/get-help-now

UK:

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/suicidal-feelings/about-suicidal-feelings/

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/behaviours/help-for-suicidal-thoughts/

Canada: https://bekindonline.com/category/resource/cyberbullying/#:~:text=Call%20Talk%20Suicide%20Canada%201,%2D800%2D668%2D6868.

Bullying kills.

Signed, the parent of a suicidal 11 year old who's been bullied since she was fucking 5.

PSA: Hate Message/Bullying

This will be my last message regarding the negative messages I’ve been receiving. To the person or group responsible, you’ve crossed a line. While this message is directed at you, it's also meant for others in the Hazbin Hotel community who may be experiencing similar negativity and feel isolated.

Please remember, you are not alone.

CW/TW: inflammatory language, suicide, death threat, provocative language

Annonie, when I woke up this morning to over 20+ messages, I felt confused. As I started reading through all the hate, I found myself wondering, "What did I do to trigger this?" But then I stopped and realized—it’s not me. It’s YOU.

For a moment, I thought about quitting. I honestly considered giving up writing here because it didn’t feel worth the constant barrage of negativity, especially when I’m already juggling so much stress in my real life. But there's something stubborn in me—a part that refuses to back down, even when faced with such blatant, childish hate. Maybe it's my age, or just my nature, but I found myself trying to understand you.

I want to tell you to stop before it goes too far.

Words have power. Have you ever been taught that?

I don’t know if you write stories yourself, but if you do, you know how words can evoke so many emotions—joy, comfort, sorrow—giving someone an escape or a friend in the pages. But words can also destroy. They can crush dreams, steal hope, and even push someone to the edge.

I lost a friend to online bullying. One of my closest people was taken away because of hate-filled words from a stranger. Do you understand the weight of that? They were a lover, a friend, a family member, and in a single moment of hatred, that person lost their future. Someone’s thoughtless words robbed them of happiness, of possibility.

You see, while I can take your hate, I worry about the others in this community who might not. I’m more concerned about the impact you might be having on someone else who’s already struggling.

It only takes one bad day to ruin someone’s life. And isn’t that just heartbreaking?

I’m not asking you to be a hero or a saint.

I’m asking you to be a human being—to show some compassion.

[itsbenedict]

Two-Faced Jewel: Session 12

Foolish Heroes of Barley

A half-elf conwoman (and the moth tasked with keeping her out of trouble) travel the Jewel in search of, uh, whatever a fashionable accessory is pointing them at. [Campaign log]

Last time, the party had returned to Barley to deal with a few loose ends. They've been staying in town for a while, waiting for their hired Deathseekers to deal with the dragon in the tower. This session, their stay comes to an end, and as you can see from the image here, they don't get into any trouble whatsoever.

A few other things happen before their fateful final night in town:

Kevin Softbreeze, the herbalist from the Deathseekers, visits town and sells Looseleaf some magic flowers that repel demons- though they're not very potent, and she'll need to stop by his garden in Cauterdale if she wants some seeds to try growing. Saelhen buys some potent knockout drops.

The villagers appear to still be arming themselves and preparing for battle with Wheat- since they didn't mention Arnie as the culprit at all, and tried to pin it on the dragon directly, Malath is still skeptical that they're totally safe from invasion, and defensive preparations continue.

Rumors spread that Chitch has gone missing, but no one can find the body. The party spreads rumors of their own- true ones- that Chitch went to go find his daughter after learning that the pain-wizard is dead.

On their fifth night in the village- somewhat earlier than expected- they notice something outside the window of their rooms in the inn. Lumiere's tower, previously unnoticeable, is suddenly aglow with some sort of yellow cylindrical magic barrier, made up of hexagonal panels.

Looseleaf rouses the rest of the party- the plan is to watch from a distance, and not interfere. A very loud roar is heard in the distance, which is suddenly cut off in the middle- it seems the Deathseekers have sprung their trap.

It's not too much longer after that when they begin to hear screams from around them in the village.

Saelhen's elf eyes spot... something rustling in the fields around the village. All of them. Quite a lot of somethings. Except despite the rustling, she can't make out anything but barley stalks. And the nothing- the hordes of nothing- is moving towards the tower.

The party leaps into action, heading downstairs with weapons drawn. On the ground floor, they see... something sort of familiar. Those Greed Echoes, the mud-and-grass monsters they fought on the road- one of them is forming itself out of broken bottles, dust, and wooden planks uprooted from the floor of the Harvester Inn. Cassie, the innkeeper, is watching in terror, knuckles white gripping a frying pan.

Congratulations! You're both right! The dragon is summoning an army of hateful Justice Echoes powered by the roused hatred of Wheat that's been stirred up in town!

Oyobi thinks fast, and oneshots the echo in the kitchen with an arrow, shattering a bottle that'd become its core. The screams outside continue, though, and the party exits the inn to find panicked villagers fleeing their homes. Justice Echoes made primarily from twisted stalks of barley have formed in their fields and homes, taking the weapons amassed for self-defense from their owners. They attack only those who resist, and make their way towards the tower.

Looseleaf: Let's just attack some hate-plague spirits and see if they decide to attack us instead. If they don't attack us at all, then we can just ignore them and run leisurely next to them and pick them off as we go. If they attack us, then it's a regular fight. "We're up to do some heroism this fine night, right, team?" Oyobi Yamatake: "Obviously!" Orluthe Chokorov: "Uh, I don't have that one prepared, do I? Uh..." Vayen: Saelhen du Fishercrown: "I am up to rub Mother K's face in the super obvious consequences of her actions while incidentally preventing pointless suffering." "Go team! Woo!"

Looseleaf starts us off by rending the spirit of the closest barley-monster, using her new Painspike ability to make the target Frightened of her.

However... these monsters have no purpose except to attack that which they fear, so rather than the normal effect of being Frightened, Looseleaf has now drawn aggro from this monster. Which is kind of what she wanted! So, that's a win! She now has a way to goad the enemy!

The party takes some swings at the monsters, knocking a couple out, but most of them seem to just be ignoring them, continuing to run through the fields towards the tower. They could become a problem for the Deathseekers if they're not dealt with- or for Wheat, for that matter.

Backup arrives in the form of Malath Kanthalga, who perceives these events as- what else?- an attack by Wheat. She's screaming, demanding to know who's responsible, and smashing echoes apart with her mace. Still, the echoes are mostly ignoring the village- they're grabbing anything they can find to use as a weapon, sort of ransacking the place, but most of them are just fleeing.

So Saelhen comes up with an extremely well-timed plan. It's a really good plan, I love it, and I'm excited to hit them with the consequences of her plan- until Looseleaf issues a timely bit of advice:

Saelhen du Fishercrown: Saelhen dashes (Cunning Action), steps forward, inhales a great gulp of breath... "FOOLISH HEROES OF BARLEY!" she bellows. "WHILE YOU FUTILELY WASTE YOURSELVES AGAINST WHEAT'S DEFENSES, I, THE SECRET SHADOW MAYOR OF WHEAT, WILL BE HERE BURNING YOUR HOMES!" "AND ALSO MENACING YOUR CITIZENS WITH MY PERMISSIVE IDEOLOGY!" She waves her hooded lantern, unlit, above her head, to drive the point home. "WHO AMONG YOU CAN STOP ME AND DELIVER JUSTICE? NO ONE, PROBABLY, I ASSUME!"

Vayen, in a surprising show of, let's call it camaraderie, is very much in support of this plan for some reason! He takes a break from his busy schedule of doing absolutely nothing every turn in combat to cast a helpful illusion, to ensure as many monsters aggro Saelhen as possible!

A few more rounds of combat ensue, with a good chunk of the monsters- including a few very large building-sized hulks- immediately turning to kill Saelhen. The party gets some good hits in, and Saelhen gets a little roughed up. She... would like maybe fewer things to be attacking her, actually.

Saelhen du Fishercrown: "Their attention is on me, Mother Kanthalga, the secret mayor of Wheat this entire time, but you might be able to calm their anger! These creatures were born from this town's... collective mind, or something, they may listen to you if you order them to stand down!" Benedict I. (GM): Not with advantage, but a 22... "Wh... what? What are you saying? That's..." She hesitates, then speaks, in a booming voice she- well, you spent a few days here, you know she reserves it for sermons. "STAND DOWN! The time to strike against our foe has not yet come!" "We must be prudent! We must defend ourselves, not attack!" [DEFEND OURSELVES,] the echoes agree, continuing to bear down on Saelhen. Saelhen du Fishercrown: Worth a shot!

It doesn't seem like these things are hugely receptive to emotional appeals or logical argument- they have the one emotion, which they're made of, and they don't super do other ones.

In the following combat rounds, Saelhen... takes a few more hits, which she is not designed to do on account of being a rogue.

Saelhen du Fishercrown: WHY DID I NOT DECLARE ORLUTHE THE SECRET SHADOW MAYOR

More echoes emerge from the fields and attack, and Saelhen is starting to look really rough- and Vayen just keeps the illusion on her, not actually helping in any way. Until... one of them goes for Looseleaf, instead. When it starts looking like she might be in danger, he fires off a bolt of blue electricity, which begins to singe one of the monsters attacking her for damage every turn. He's... a higher-level spellcaster than anyone else in the party, apparently!

Looseleaf, with a little room to maneuver, unfolds her wings and takes to the air- up and out of reach of the smaller monsters, drawing their aggro and forcing them to waste turns. Meanwhile, Orluthe and Oyobi, backed up by Malath and a couple of villagers who've reclaimed their weapons, cut down a few more echoes as more surge forth from the fields to replace them.

Saelhen... keeps trying to persuade Malath to persuade the echoes to stop. She does very well at persuading Malath to try that! Malath tries that, wholeheartedly, once again to no effect! Eventually, Malath stops trying.

Saelhen du Fishercrown: "Would you consider coming to them as a trusted comrade, who trained them to protect them, rather than the one leading them off to war? Maybe?" Malath Kanthalga: "I am going to come to them as a very angry warrior with a mace," she growls. Saelhen du Fishercrown: "Okay! Okay, fair enough. Spiritual remedies off the table, understood."

Orluthe is getting really tired, and keeps whiffing his swings- it's touch-and-go for a while. But Saelhen and Looseleaf's frantic attempts to kite enemies out of range have been paying off, and they manage to down the remaining super-hulks juuuuust before anyone dies.

Benedict I. (GM): Y'know, it's possible that making the two squishiest members of the party draw aggro was not the number one best strategic move Saelhen du Fishercrown: IT MAYBE WASN'T, NO Looseleaf: eh, it's worked out so far!

The combat wraps up, and we transition to a bunch of Athletics rolls to chase down and terminate as many of the smaller echoes as possible. They build a firepit in the center of town, to dispose of defeated echoes in- just in case that's necessary, because who knows what kind of magic is animating these guys.

So after a wild night of chasing, taunting, fleeing, and burning justice echoes- well, it's not so much a wild night as a wild twenty minutes or so- there's a point at which the fields just suddenly fall silent. A pair of echoes chasing Saelhen fall to the ground, inert.

With a good roll...

Saelhen du Fishercrown: "...of course, you're free to dismiss this as the ramblings of a crazed outsider. But keep in mind, Mother Kanthalga, that the ones who fell upon your town, tore it apart in a frenzy of violence, and stabbed you repeatedly for your pains, endangering your people, your daughter and your livelihoods, were repeating the words you taught them." Benedict I. (GM): Malath winces. "That... I don't know why they..." Saelhen du Fishercrown: "...think on it. You're reasonable people, around here. You can come to your own conclusions." Benedict I. (GM): "I tell you, I did not make these things! If not for..." She's kind of lost for words. "...Apologies. I have much work to do," she says, and leaves.

After some work mending the village and cleaning up the aftermath, Looseleaf heads back into the inn to check on Vayen, who hasn't been helping at all and is instead drunk at the bar. He asks "Did she make it?"- and Looseleaf gets a nat 20 on Insight.

She's pretty sure that he was talking about Saelhen- and that he sounded almost hopeful. He was unusually jazzed about a plan that involved her being attacked by a horde of angry monsters- and he chose to shoot the echo that was attacking her, not the one bearing down on Saelhen with a bunch of its friends. When she informs him Saelhen survived, she's able to tell he's disappointed.

Saelhen du Fishercrown: so he doesn't hate us, as a group he hates saelhen specifically Looseleaf: But also weirdly- okay, what if: what if he actually has an ancestral quest involving that bracer and he's mad that saelhen beat him to the punch and furthermore used it as a shitty cover story Saelhen du Fishercrown: saelhen going THE DE LA SURPLUS ANCESTRAL QUEST IS REAL???

Looseleaf switches to talking to Vayen via her spirit-magic imitation of the Message spell.

Looseleaf: (Like, Vayen, everything you're doing is about Saelhen in some way or other. And I can't figure out why. You seem pretty much ambivalent towards all of us except for her. I don't get it. If you want Saelhen dead, why haven't you just killed her? I saw that lightning bolt- if you wanted, I bet you could take all of us, in a straight fight.) (You're sending real mixed signals. If you want her dead, why isn't she dead? Why do you want her to be dead via a hand other than your own?) Vayen: He locks up. And then sighs. Looseleaf: (And now you're sitting here sounding all tired and sad and I feel bad about that.) (I dunno, do you want to, uh, talk about it, with someone.) Vayen: "I don't... want her... to be dead," he says, clearly choosing his words carefully. "I have nothing against her." Looseleaf: (Then it's the- bracer??) Vayen: I'm letting that one Insight roll do a lot of work here, but he definitely reacts to that. "I- um, no," he says, lying. Looseleaf: (There is literally nothing significant about Saelhen other than her bracer, unless you plan on telling me that your deepest desire is to defeat the dance emperor of Kanzentokai in a danceoff and reclaim your ancestral throne of dancing glory.) (Which, granted, if that's the case, that'd be amazing.) Vayen: "I don't know what you're- that's not..." "It's all coincidence. Whatever you're thinking. I don't have- I don't have anything against- Saelhen? Noeru?" Looseleaf: (Look, I- okay, here's how I see things. I don't know how the bracer works, it's weird magic stuff, but the way I see it, there's two major ways the bracer could work.) (That is, you either want the bracer for yourself, because whatever it does or whatever you need it for, you need to be the one wearing it- OR, you just need anybody willing to use the bracer to do whatever it is the bracer's supposed to do.) Vayen: "...Can you not?" "I- I have a job." "I have an important job." "It's from the School of Restricted Arts." Looseleaf: "Well, tell us about the dang important job then! Maybe we can help you with it." "I don't get why you're preassuming that we'd never do anything you might want us to do." Vayen: "It's from the School of- are you listening?" "It's secret." "Look, it's- you don't need to worry about it, okay?" Looseleaf: "Hhhhhrlgkrkshxzshktkrrrzzzzktttttkzzz," Looseleaf says, reverting to her natural dialect in a brief moment of frustration. Vayen: "Sure, it's easier if- I mean, she- that was her idea, she wanted to..." "I just- I can just..." "As long as I can keep an eye on..." He groans. "I shouldn't be talking to you." "You're not in the School." Looseleaf: "Okay, just- hhhjkkkkkrkxxxxxtk." Vayen:"Are... you okay?" He's never asked a question like that before. Looseleaf: (I'm fine, that's just how we express frustration, our throats don't naturally conform to making sounds like 'hrrrrrgh', whenever I do that it's a performative thing that I do to adhere to human expectations- look, the big reason why I'm trying to, pound my way through your portcullis of secrecy with a twenty-foot battering ram of blunt communication,) (is because right now Saelhen is like, probably 80% convinced you're trying to poison her in your sleep.) (Seriously, this amount of in-party distrust is, like, way too Ccorde-damned much.) Vayen: "I wouldn't do that," he says. "If I were going to do that, I'd have done it already. Looseleaf: (If you'd express, in a credible way, that you're actually just trying to get Saelhen to do whatever it is she'd do anyways, she'd feel a lot better about it!) (And then she might even work with you to further your goals directly!) Vayen: He doesn't say anything for a little while. "...This is stupid." "This isn't even- it's wrong, even." "Maybe that's why." Man, that bottle he's holding is emptier than you thought it'd be. He's only been here less than half an hour. "Don't try to- guh, friends. He'll never- stupid. What's the point." He sort of collapses on the bar.

Vayen, it seems, can't hold his liquor. Looseleaf... carries him back up to his room.

Next time: the party finally leaves Barley, for good this time! And also a minor medical emergency happens, and also they kidnap a twelve-year-old, but like, it's fine. It'll be fine. Don't worry about it.

[vercopaanir]

This is probably a silly question 🥺 but do you ever get writer's block and if so, how do you deal with it? I feel like I struggle so much with focusing and pressuring myself into writing that it doesn't come out the way I would like for it to. Do you listen to music or just prefer a silent background? I'm just genuinely curious since TLM is written so beautifully and you're constantly updating it. It literally takes me a week to write a 5K chapter.

This is not a silly question at all.

Unfortunately, I have a lot of thoughts about this, so they’ll be under a cut!

I get writer’s block in various forms. Typically, it’s one of two kinds.

The first (and rarest for me) kind is when there is just a complete blank as to what I want to do with the story. This can be really frustrating if you don’t know your personal rhythm in the creative process, but it can also be really fun to discover what inspires you. I call it letting the story “steep.” 

Usually, I need to flush it out with more when this happens. The character needs to want something, the conflict doesn’t have high enough stakes, etc. The Lovely Moons didn’t happen on a whim, trust me. I spent nearly a month thinking on it, developing the character, gathering bits and pieces of lore, and doing general research. 

Recently, @di-kut and I compared how we prep our stories. She is very visual because she’s also an artist, so she told me she likes to make mood boards, finds pictures, and even makes art! I’m not as visual, because everything is in my head so I’ll never really find the pictures I’m wanting. So I end up frustrated. I personally prefer making playlists for my stories like it’s a movie soundtrack, and I tend to only listen to those songs when I write. The Lovely Moons has a lot of empowering and dystopian inspired songs on it, because the main character was a slave and overcomes a lot as a person.

If you’re into visuals, I say make a folder and save some images that inspire you. Costumes or clothes your characters might where, scenery where certain plot points happen, pictures of people you envision for different characters. If you want to make a playlist, start with some movies or TV show soundtracks that move you and pick through there. 

The second kind of writer’s block, and the one I most often fight with, is when a scene just isn’t coming together the way I want it to. I know that I want to get the story from Point A to Point B, but it just doesn’t feel right, or it’s like pulling teeth.

There are several ways to deal with this.

-Write a few sentences, even if you don’t think they’re good. Just get them into the document, as much as you can manage, and save and close it. Go back to it later, or even the next day. Sometimes you can’t force it to happen, and that’s natural and completely okay! What two sentences you can manage today might help spark you tomorrow to write 5k out of nowhere. 

-Accept that what you’re writing down is your first draft, and if you’re worried it might suck, it probably does. This is also okay. It’s supposed to suck and be imperfect. Editing yourself will always stop you from writing. That isn’t writer’s block, it’s fear of failure. Don’t listen to it! Just write. Honestly, this is probably the most important thing that has gotten me through writing TLM. Just getting it down and writing a little bit each day. There have been some days I can only manage a sentence, but it’s the best sentence I’ve written in a while. The more you do it, the easier it comes, and the less often you’ll find your blocked.

-So, you’ve done the previous two steps, and the scene still isn’t working. Well, friend, you are a real writer and are now in the arena of the story trying to tell YOU where it needs to go. And you should listen to it! I know that sounds super cheesy, but it’s true. There have been several times in writing TLM that I expected a scene to go a certain way, and it’s not working because my gut is trying to tell me “Yeah, this isn’t natural” or in character, or flowing. Those are your instincts, and you need to listen to them.

What I’ve done is sometimes open a new document and say to myself, “Self, what would happen if instead of Din shooting Toro Calican, Cyare did it instead?” And then I write that, and boom. It works, it flows, it makes narrative sense.

Sometimes you have to throw yourself a curve ball and be open to having your plans be changed for you. It can suck at first, but when you feel that rhythm take over, it’s worth it. And if you’re not sure what to change or tinker with, try a few things. Does the scene start in the woods and you need to be at the ocean? Try starting the scene somewhere else. Does your character need to go from peaceful to yelling? Start the scene with the character already yelling.

I’ve had several chapters be born from what I only expected to be a sentence, and I’ve had several chapters become a paragraph. And it ends up working out to the story’s benefit, because if something needs to be longer, the words will come. If you’re finding you’re struggling to find the words for something, it probably doesn’t need to be as long as you think it does.

And, two of the biggest weapons to combat writer’s block are this: read and befriend writers!

Read the kinds of stories you’re trying to write! We will only ever grow as writers if we continue to write and continue to read. Reading and supporting other peoples’ art will inspire you and it will also help you carve out your own style.

Being able to talk about your stories and ask for feedback from other writers is imperative to becoming a better author. You’ll never change, never grow, never get better without someone you can count on that you feel comfortable with discussing ideas. Sometimes they’ll be GOLDEN ideas, and sometimes you’ll be talking about Paz Vizla sipping a capri sun and going by in heelies. But it’s a huge confidence boost when you can befriend awesome people by supporting each other’s work, and it helps sometimes to talk out the kinks with someone else.

I hope something in this long, long answer was helpful for you, my love. Be kind to yourself, don’t beat yourself up, and just keep writing! ❤️❤️❤️

[yourrealitybeyondtime]

My OC Descriptions!

Thank you so much for your positive responses, @dasjansel @corvid-moon @teeny-weeny-ducklings @technoxslayer360 @incoherentmoose and @cake-and-roses ! Since you guys asked, I made overall descriptions of my OCs and a bit of a synopsis. Sorry it's so long! I hope you enjoy it and please provide feedback!

This is a story that takes the "chosen ones" and fantasy tropes and turns them on their heads. The main character never accepts his role. The guy doesn't get the girl. There's no prophecy or guide. The populace thinks they're monsters, not heros. Their powers are explained scientifically. They have to help themselves emotionally so they can help others physically. It's just a bunch of young adults with problems getting into shenanigans, figuring out life's lessons, and maybe saving the world.

Name: Adrian

Age: 18

Height: 5'8"

Gender Identity: Male

Pronouns: He/Him

Sexuality: Bisexual (Feminine leaning)

Race: Human

Ethnicity: German/Portugese

Neurodivergent: Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Active Power: Super strength

Passive Power: Truth (Ability to see through illusions, understands foreign languages, can tell when someone is lying, etc)

Activating Emotion: Courage

Associated Color: Yellow/Gold

Associated Element: Air/Wind

Description: This rich, all-American, high school boy has had a near perfect life growing up until a burglar breaks in his home. Thankfully, he stops the villain… by tackling him through an oak door! First hailed as a hero, his social life then gets thrown into disarray as this new found strength that seems to randomly come and go ends up earning him the reputation of a destructive menace. On top of that, he starts passing out and having "visions." Doctors say he's having seizures, but these visions feel more real than his life ever has, and it's always of the same place, a magic lab where he's the experiment! His visions keep getting worse until one day he fully wakes up in the lab and escapes, but now he can't go back home!

Adrian finds out he's stuck in the world of Mythos, the parallel Earth where all of our fantastical dreams come from, and he's not happy about it! And the locals don't seem happy about him either. Just wanting to get this over with and go home, Adrian faces more ugly reality in this fantasy world than he ever did in his privileged life in our world. With no guides or prophecies and regarded as a monster, Adrian has to figure out how to find others like himself to help him save the world and go back home.

Adrian is the self-proclaimed leader of the group. He's obnoxious, self-centered, and stubborn, and completely uninterested in helping unless it benefits him somehow. You are supposed to dislike him at first. He matures and becomes much more open-minded and accepting through the journey.

Initial Motivation: To get back home

Journey: Breaking out of your bubble is more important than staying in it, others suffer in a way different from you, you cannot speak for others, use privilege to help those that don't have privilege, attraction to anyone who shows femininity or doing female-assigned tasks/behaviors (being kind, showing emotions, being vulnerable) does not make you less of a man, the greatest strength is facing the truth

Name: Iola

Age: 20

Height: 6'2"

Gender Identity: Female

Pronouns: She/Her

Sexuality: Lesbian

Race: Human

Ethnicity: Afro-Columbian

Neurodivergent: Anxiety

Active Power: Shield

Passive Power: Acceleration/Regeneration (Subconsciously heals others, requires focus if needs boost in power, ie, if someone is bleeding out. Can cause things to grow, but also age. Cannot remove poisons/curses, cannot bring people back to life, conditional)

Activating Emotion: Care

Associated Color: Pink/Orange

Associated Element: Earth/Wood

Description: Iola's life had been pretty quiet since she and her dad started a farm out in the wilderness, until a strange boy pops up who brings a whole lot of unwanted attention. She stumbles upon her own powers as she defends her home, and then sets out to find others with Adrian.

Iola is the mom of the group, both the good parts and the bad. She is kind and caring and helpful and also stressed af and sometimes pokes her nose where she's not welcome. It's suggested at first that she may be the Adrian's love interest, but, surprise! She only likes girls. She seems to have lost someone precious to her, and it's not her mom.

Initial Motivation: Believes in following destiny

Journey: Self-sacrifice is not always necessary, mediation is more important than appeasement, give without expectation of return, worthy of just existing, important to take care of self in order to take care of others, rest is a type of work and just as important as being active

Name: Emlyn

Age: 21

Height: 6'0"

Gender Identity: Androgynous

Pronouns: He/Him

Sexuality: Pansexual

Race: Human

Ethnicity: Northern Irish

Neurodivergent: Complex PTSD, Depression

Active Power: Chemical Reaction (Interaction of two or more substances that results in different substances. Can only initiate reaction, cannot control the outcome. Usually uses fire as a weapon, but can use others. Can also stop reaction in process, but cannot reverse.)

Passive Power: Psychic (Ability to sense when others are nearby, can receive symbolic messages through dreams, not prophetic)

Activating Emotion: Passion

Associated Color: Deep blood red

Associated Element: Fire

Description: Emlyn finally seems to have found a home at the inn he works at when two strangers pop up with trouble following them. He unleashes his powers to defend them, but his loved ones reject him when his secret is exposed. With nowhere else to go, he tags along with Adrian and Iola, the only people who seem to accept him how he is. However, he harbors a terrible secret that he's hellbent on taking to the grave, and it creates a division between himself and the others.

Emlyn is very quiet and reclusive. He doesn't talk much, and seems to be insistent on covering as much skin as possible at all times. He's not the angry or brooding type, but surprisingly polite and soft spoken. And surprisingly strong. However, he seems like he'll do anything to avoid using his powers, and almost seems scared of them. Adrian bullies him frequently, threatened by the fact that he's attracted to Emlyn. Emlyn doesn't seem to care, but eventually lashes out, showing a very different, vicious side.

Initial Motivation: Redemption

Journey: The past is the past, use mistakes to learn and teach, secrets create unnecessary burden, it's okay to have darkness, do not let negative emotions rule over logical decisions, take both capabilities and lack of into account, sometimes you just can't do what you want even if others can, you are not damned

Name: Liesel

Age: 82

Height: 5'0"

Gender Identity: Genderfluid

Pronouns: She/Her, He/Him, They/Them

Sexuality: Abrosexual

Race: Fairy/Changeling

Ethnicity: Jewish

Neurodivergent: Autistic

Active Power: Freedom (Ability to unlock anything, create doors/portals with conditions)

Passive Power: Choice (Can tell what someone has decided before they act on it, very useful in combat; can see what future "paths" can be taken but cannot tell outcomes)

Activating Emotion: Hope

Associated Color: Sky blue

Associated Element: Water

Description: Liesel has had to protect her people for decades, so she's more than a bit reluctant to leave with some humans to go on some adventure. When she realizes that she needs to, she goes with them, but completely mistrusts them.

Where Iola and Emlyn are more passive, Liesel is even more aggressive than Adrian. She challenges everything Adrian knows and really gets him to start looking at things differently. They develop a weird rivalry dynamic and eventually soften up with each other.

Initial Motivation: Protect her people

Journey: Evil does not originate from the same place, no group of people are all the same, there's a difference between honesty and being cruel

Name: Uri

Age: ??? (They tell a different number every time they're asked)

Height: 5'4"

Gender Identity: Agender

Pronouns: They/Them

Sexuality: Asexual

Race: Dragon

Ethnicity: Nigerian

Neurodivergent: N/A

Active Power: Light Manipulation (Can be used to make self or others invisible, create illusions, blind someone, etc. Does not actually makes things disappear/materialize, just makes it look like it.)

Passive Power: Compulsion (Redirects electrical impulses between neurons. Makes people think certain things, somewhat like intrusive thoughts. The more impulsive someone is, the easier they are to manipulate. Often accidentally shares own thoughts with others. Usually uses for persuasion among foes and to pull pranks among friends. Cannot read minds.)

Activating Emotion: Elation

Associated Color: Emerald green

Associated Element: Metal

Other: Disabled/Born without wings

Description: Uri's just minding their own business, napping on top of their treasure trove when some adventurers break in. Those same adventurers open that weird lock contraption they've been trying to open for the last two centuries. Interesting. Rather than confronting the adventurers, Uri decides to join them in hopes of making sure their treasure doesn't get destroyed, to find some more, and to enjoy some chaos along the way.

Uri is confident, charasmatic, and devilishly handsome. They only care about their treasure, but slowly finds themself caring about the others.

Initial Motivation: To protect their treasure

Journey: Self-preservation includes helping others, happiness is worth going the long way for, people have different paths to the same goal and that's okay

Name: Oriana

Age: 19

Height: 5'6"

Gender Identity: Demigirl

Pronouns: She/Her

Sexuality: Pansexual

Race: Human?

Ethnicity: Cherokee

Neurodivergent: ADHD

Active Power: Sonic/Song

Passive Power: Empath (Ability to sense motives, can literally share emotions when making physical contact, can transfer powers between people)

Activating Emotion: Love (Both romantic and platonic)

Associated Color: White/Purple

Associated Element: Spirit/Aether

Other: Intersex

Description: Oriana has been waiting at the edge of the Ancient Forest for a long time. She doesn't remember why, but she knows she needs to guide five adventurers through the massive forest that covers half the world. For some reason, she's the only one who can survive traversing it.

Oriana is sweet and kind and too naive for her own good, having never been exposed to civilization or other people before. She seems to have a mind of a child, but has the wisdom and understanding of someone who has been alive for a very long time. Emlyn develops a crush on her due to her friendly and accepting nature and eventually confides in her. Their past is far more intertwined than either of them remember, and is the answer to why this is all happening.

Initial Motivation: Because she was asked to

Journey: Evil lives in everyone, purity is non-existent, be kind to those who "don't deserve it" without allowing self to be walked on, different facets of love

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Nancy

Rio: So, I have something to say to you Rio: And I waited 'til I left so you don't have to find space in your luggage for my body, before you ask Nancy: Okay... Nancy: slightly scared but tell me anyway Rio: Me too, girl Rio: but I'll just say it, 'cos I should've before Rio: the party, at your parent's rental Rio: it was my party Nancy: That's not funny, Ri Nancy: He's my twin, I suffer the joint parties so nobody else has to Rio: It isn't, I know Rio: but it was, I was there and they were all my friends Rio: I had no intention for it to get that out of hand, for the police to come Rio: to ruin shit for you, I'm really sorry Nancy: So you let him take the blame? Rio: I know, that's why I'm telling you Rio: so you don't blame him Rio: not for this anyway Nancy: He must've still given you the keys Nancy: and he was still there when it got so out of control Nancy: all I'm learning is that it's both your faults Nancy: Like he's stupid, you're stupider Rio: I just wanted you to know that it wasn't all him Rio: I'm not trying to change your mind Nancy: Why? Nancy: Why do you want me to know that? You think he's a prick too Rio: Like you said, I let him take the fall Rio: that ain't right, whoever it is Rio: I'm not trying to aggravate anyone's situations and relationships Nancy: say sorry to him without including me Rio: You can be mad at me, its fine Nancy: Oh I am Nancy: his excuse is any for a party, yeah? 🙄 but I don't understand why you would do this Rio: Why can't I just want to go to a party too Rio: and not think about everyone it may or may not affect, like Rio: I'm sorry, and I really am, but I'm not the one making you go home Nancy: cos you live there! Don't tell me there weren't others that you could've gone too Nancy: that wouldn't end in us going back Rio: It was an oversight Rio: I shouldn't have said yes but I did so you do with that info whatever you need to okay Nancy: you know what he's like and all the encouragement he DOESN'T need to do stuff like this Nancy: he'd have done it whether you were there or not but the fact is you were and you didn't stop him at any point Rio: It was only a party Rio: no one died Nancy: tell that to my mum and dad Nancy: seriously, please do Rio: He wants to handle it himself with them, which is why he took the blame Nancy: Cool yeah and I'll handle being back here myself Nancy: you say maybe you just wanted a party, well maybe I just wanted a break from everything that I already told you has happened Rio: I don't doubt that Rio: but you can't hold me responsible like I'm the one taking you home or I'm the one doing the bullying Rio: I don't have the power to prevent either, I wish I did but I've not claimed it and you don't think I do, equally, I don't have the power to enforce either Nancy: but I can for acting like you care how bad it is and then helping Buster be stupid enough to cause another Nancy: just ridiculous shitshow Rio: I do care Rio: but all of this is nothing more than you said, a break, distraction, from the actual shitshow that is waiting back home and won't go away Rio: do your parents know? Nancy: I can't tell them Rio: You have to Rio: you can't live like this Nancy: I can't have my mum look at me like that again Nancy: every time she has to remind the old men who teach us that dyslexia is a thing, it's a THING Nancy: and my dad doesn't understand anything, you know Rio: It's their job to fight your corner Rio: and they will Rio: you have to tell them how bad it is Nancy: they always do, that's the point Nancy: Buster hasn't needed them to do anything since he started school basically Nancy: they love him for it Rio: then maybe that's the problem Rio: what if he doesn't want them to look at him like that either Nancy: This would never happen to him, or them Nancy: so it's my fault that I'm the one that's different Nancy: that's what he thinks and that's what they'd think too, like Rio: everyone has different issues Rio: that doesn't mean no issues, ever Rio: even if you are different, they still love you Nancy: I'm handling it, not the way they would, but I am Rio: How? Nancy: what doesn't kill me makes me stronger, right? Nancy: don't people say that Rio: People are idiots Nancy: It's not how my family do things, talking Nancy: I can't just spill my truth over the dinner table in place of asking for salt Rio: Fixing things, isn't that what yours like to do best Rio: give them the chance, you can save the rest for someone who's a better listener, someone more comforting, I'm not saying you have to do that Rio: but this can't carry on Nancy: it won't forever Nancy: she's clearly in love with me or something, that's every homophobe's narrative in every YA thing ever Nancy: once she gets over it, I'll be fine Rio: This ain't teen drama, and she isn't Rio: this is serious Nancy: I know how serious it is Nancy: Living it Rio: Then stop Nancy: it's not that easy Rio: No, its brave Rio: but so is enduring that level of hate every single day Rio: without any of the reward Rio: so I know you can do it Nancy: it'll make it worse if I say anything Nancy: I don't know if I can cope with that even hypothetically so Rio: How much worse could it be Rio: how much more are you willing to take before that point, not hypothetical, 'cos all of that is already happening and it won't just get better on its own Nancy: I'm not testing that at my own expense, okay? Rio: Don't Nancy: She's got so many friends, boys as well Rio: Some friend Rio: I'm sure loads of people hate her too Nancy: Maybe Nancy: and I'm sure at least some of them spend every day holding their breath too Nancy: I'm not starting a club Rio: Who do you think she is to bully you Rio: because that's the truth, she can only get away with it because you think she's somehow better than you Nancy: I barely know her Rio: exactly, she should be irrelevant Nancy: what's closer to the truth, I think, is that I refuse to see other girls as my competition and she can't stand it Nancy: I could weaponize things she obviously feels self conscious about, but I won't Rio: That just feeds into it being your fault, that there's any reasoning that's acceptable Rio: if you didn't have those insecurities yourself, she couldn't use them, fuck her and hers Nancy: my sexuality isn't an insecurity, not to me Nancy: the fact that I'm not whatever Chelsea girl cliche she thinks I should be is far from either Rio: Then get help Rio: if you thought you deserved it, you would Rio: that's the problem, there, you can't see getting help as anything but a weakness Rio: letting someone treat you like shit is, especially when you say you have the confidence to see you deserve better Nancy: and trade it in for my parents disappointment? thanks but no Nancy: letting everyone see and treat me like 'that bullied girl' is no better Rio: Then don't be Rio: that is all you're being Rio: in what world do you think either of them would be proud you grin and beared it from some bitches not worth half of you Nancy: If I wanted any of this I'd ask my brother for advice Rio: Just because the solution is walk through the fire and that sounds terrifying, doesn't mean you aren't fucking living in it Nancy: I don't need you to tell me how I'm living Nancy: or what fear is like Rio: You don't want anyone to examine it Rio: you wanna just disappear, so they can't see you and no one else can Rio: this shit will shrink you and wear you down to nothing but 'that bullied girl' and that's the fucking truth Nancy: You're being a real bitch right now actually Nancy: and not just for making me call you one Rio: Call me what you like Rio: I know myself and my intentions Nancy: so do I but what you don't know is how difficult this is Rio: Yes I do Nancy: it's so constant and I'm so tired Nancy: I don't have time or space to explain to my mum and dad why and what is happening Rio: There's no alternative Nancy: there's no words for any of it Nancy: to make them understand that it's not just stupid kid stuff that they'll tell me to sort out on my own Rio: There are Rio: but if you say them it stops being stupid kid stuff and it makes it serious and real Nancy: not in my head, you know how hard it is for me to find any Nancy: when I'm upset it's worse Nancy: I can't organise my thoughts ever any more Rio: I can help you, or Junior or Billie or any of us would be happy to Nancy: I haven't told either of them Rio: Who knows? Nancy: you Nancy: and Buster unavoidably Rio: You should talk to them Rio: Junior especially, he's never had an easy time of school either Nancy: that's why I don't wanna worry him Nancy: he's so sweet but what can he do? Rio: Get it Rio: if you're feeling misunderstood by the rest of us Nancy: I vented to him forever before I came out, he doesn't need this too Nancy: it's not fair Rio: That's what friends are for Nancy: he's my escape from it, he'll stop being if I drag him right in Nancy: it's already all you wanna talk about Rio: Its your life Rio: you can't escape it Nancy: I do though Rio: and its still there when you get home Nancy: Like I said, telling on her isn't gonna fix that Rio: Fine Nancy: You don't get to be mad at me about this Rio: How do you expect me to talk to you about anything else like you don't hate your life? Nancy: Don't talk to me then Rio: You may be happy to ignore it but I won't Nancy: Happy is an oversimplification Nancy: you're ignoring everything I've said Rio: And you don't get to tell me not to be mad Rio: Like I don't care about you and have every right to be worried Nancy: I can tell you not to be mad at me if you're telling me it's not my fault but treating me like it is Rio: I'm not Nancy: everything you want me to do only makes my life worse, not hers Nancy: my school is stuck in a timewarp and she's surrounded by people who support her even if it wasn't Rio: Because this isn't about her, or revenge or being that person Rio: she's that person and clearly her life is shit enough already if that's how she treats people Rio: why am I pretending to you that its easy, exactly? Rio: when has life ever been Nancy: Yeah okay Nancy: Life's hard, why do I have to be the one to make it harder? Nancy: Why can't they just stop Rio: Because they aren't handling their own shit Rio: you shouldn't be the one to take that on just 'cos they've picked you to do it Nancy: I miss you Rio: I miss you too Rio: I am so sorry you had to go back before planned, okay, you know I am Nancy: Of course I do Rio: Its your life, alright, do what you have to but I know you aren't okay Nancy: I'm trying Rio: I know you are Rio: some things you can't do alone Rio: shouldn't have to Nancy: I know Nancy: I'll try to talk to mum but you really have to pick your moments with her Nancy: and with Buster determined to wind her up right now, there aren't loads Nancy: I have no idea how you could bear to be in the same room as him, especially with all your friends there Rio: If anyone knows how tough it is to get parents undivided attention, its me, don't worry Rio: he's not so bad Rio: sure I'd feel different if he was my twin though Nancy: when he's drunk or high, he's worse Nancy: which is like always now so Rio: We've all got shit we're dealing with badly, yeah? Nancy: Okay, good connection made there, even if it does wanna make me scream how not like him I am Nancy: that's just twin things, I guess Rio: I'm not going to force you into matching outfits, like, don't worry Nancy: Oh god Rio: You can admit he's human too, I won't tell Nancy: If he'll ever admit that he likes being a bad person, maybe Rio: No one likes being a bad person Rio: sometimes its the easier thing to do though Rio: we all want an easy life Nancy: he never goes for what's easier, he does what he wants to do Rio: We should all do what we wanna do, shouldn't we? Nancy: If it doesn't hurt people, sure Nancy: but not if you don't care whether it does or not Nancy: and constantly put yourself before every and anyone else Rio: What constitutes hurt? Nancy: You know what I mean and what he's like Rio: I'm just saying, bigots say that kinda thing about being gay, that it hurts everyone around you etc Rio: you can apply it to a lot of shit that is actually fine, even if you're not about it, you know Nancy: Gross Nancy: I'm applying it to his attitude and how he treats people Nancy: neither of which are fine Rio: Its not your burden to bear, you know Rio: you can't affect how he treats you, never mind other people Rio: you can only decide how you react to it Nancy: Well I'm not sorry for wanting him back Nancy: how he used to be Rio: That makes sense Nancy: Don't you remember how kind he used to be? How funny and genuine Nancy: he used to care about us Rio: He's still got the potential to be that person Rio: people change constantly Rio: for good, bad, better and worse Nancy: exactly, so I'm not gonna let him be a prick unchecked Rio: Okay Nancy: mum and dad let him get away with too much Nancy: sending him home isn't gonna help when he behaves better in Dublin and always has Nancy: they're just embarrassed Rio: Yeah well, parents rarely know what's best Rio: even if they chat like its 100% in their favour Nancy: right? Rio: Its all about confidence Nancy: mine have too much of that, let's be honest Nancy: 🙄 Nancy: I'll admit it was a good idea having the party there, well it would've been if he didn't get found out Rio: It was good Rio: 'til the garda ruined it Nancy: thanks for the invite 😏 Rio: You wanna be in the same place as your brother? 😱 Nancy: I have to avoid him the rest of the time, I would've managed Rio: My bad Rio: next soiree Nancy: You thought I wouldn't come Nancy: but in my defense, I've only been to family parties Rio: its much the same but just with people you aren't related to Nancy: I doubt that or nobody would have any Nancy: must be slightly fun Rio: nope, exactly the same Rio: expectation to enjoy yourself and 'just have fun' is even higher, actually Nancy: oh great Nancy: what I suffer from my bullies, I don't suffer from peer pressure Nancy: good to know I'm not missing out thanks to my lack of friends Rio: Don't grow up, babe Nancy: excuse you Nancy: I'd pick Tinkerbell over Peter Pan Rio: Of course you would Rio: you sound like Wendy though 😏 Nancy: so rude Nancy: I won't make the 🐶👶👶 comparison for you though Rio: You've already called me a bitch, babe Nancy: I'm sorry, okay Rio: Forget it Rio: I've been called worse and invariably will be called ever worser Nancy: but not by me Nancy: it's obviously not you I'm mad at Rio: I know that, don't worry, seriously Nancy: it's just so lonely and frustrating Nancy: like is this my payback for not having gay angst Nancy: so sorry that girls are beautiful and I don't feel bad about it Rio: Being a teenager is trauma Rio: no one gets to adulthood unscathed or you wouldn't survive Nancy: Yeah and I know it could be worse Nancy: everything that happened to my mum, to nan, to so many of them Rio: doesn't mean this isn't bad too Rio: or that your mum would dismiss it Nancy: they handled it though Nancy: better than I can or I am Rio: None of its a competition Rio: and nan would be the first to tell you her life isn't aspirational or inspirational Nancy: I just feel like she deserves a different daughter after everything Nancy: a stronger one Rio: All anyone wants is happy and healthy kids Rio: if your list is longer than that then you shouldn't have 'em Nancy: I know but Buster's so brave, she raised me to be like that too Rio: Like I said, you are brave Nancy: I'm scared all the time, he's not scared of anything Rio: Everyone's scared Rio: he just hides it well Nancy: Another skill he's got, like Rio: Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear Rio: now someone did say that 'cos I quoted it Nancy: shame I'll forget it by the time I finish writing this Nancy: having no short term memory is really annoying Rio: sure there's a poster or a mug I can get you Nancy: 😊 Rio: is it an early flight then? Nancy: Yeah Nancy: I'm sleepy just thinking about it Rio: Ugh Rio: not even long enough that you can sleep Nancy: it's so weird to me that they even do flights that short Nancy: isn't there like a million checks and stuff they have to do before? Rio: 😂 the things you think about Rio: Probably like nipping down the shop for a pint of milk to the pilots, routine as Nancy: I guess Nancy: but it'll take longer for me to decide what I'm wearing than it will to get there Rio: D'ya wanna sound more first-worldy, babe Rio: I know I said all problems are created almost equal but don't take the piss with it Nancy: also my hair won't be dry 😏 Rio: you can truly fuck off with that one Rio: my hair retains water FOREVER Nancy: 😂 Nancy: I knew you'd like that Rio: So, we're good? Nancy: Of course Rio: 🙏 Nancy: 💋 Nancy: I mean, if you go to any more parties with my brother we'll have to be sworn enemies but that's standard Rio: 😏 Nancy: since it's partly your fault I'll be there again, you really should come to London though Rio: Yeah? Rio: that'd be cool, I was wanting to go anyway Nancy: if your mum and dad will let you and your boyfriend won't be too 💔 that I'm stealing you away Rio: ha Rio: that 🚢 sailed 'fore your ✈ set off Nancy: Oh Nancy: are you okay? Rio: 😂 Rio: yeah, again, don't worry Rio: I'll survive Nancy: I am worried now cos clearly you can't get a word in Nancy: 😶 Rio: Nah, there's not much to say about it Rio: neither a problem nor important, legit Nancy: well I've deleted my 👄 now so Nancy: and if you dumped him cos of his inability to dress you for the wedding, babe, that's ALL straight boys Nancy: just saying Rio: whereas lesbians are known for their impeccable dress sense 😏 Rio: and he dumped me actually, not over my wedding outfit though Nancy: breaking my heart when yours isn't, is very unfair Nancy: and he obviously couldn't use that as a reason, you looked 🔥 Rio: put on your comfiest flannel and 😭 babe Rio: exactly though, occupational hazard of dating me, he couldn't hack it Nancy: that's both slander and a borderline hate crime cos I have and will never 😧! Nancy: you deserve more parties and I won't be a bitch about any of them Nancy: even if you invite Buster and not me, again Rio: You're so sweet Nancy: it's just a fact that the fragile male ego isn't ready for someone as pretty as you Rio: You aren't turning me Rio: but I appreciate the compliment nonetheless Nancy: that's not what I'm 🤔 more like how to find you someone mature without being gross old Rio: What about your own love life Rio: let's 🔎 there Nancy: I don't have one Nancy: we all know boys are really slow at growing up but that doesn't mean any girls I've encountered are ready for me either Nancy: they only started letting girls into my school a few decades ago, I'm the only one who's out from that already shockingly small number Rio: You live in London though Rio: one of the most diverse cities ever Rio: get out of that ⬜ and into a different ⚪ yeah Nancy: what am I gonna do sit weirdly alone at every tourist attraction 🤞🧡? I don't have any friends to do anything with Rio: that's why you join clubs, take up hobbies Rio: friends and girlfriends aren't gonna break in your house and interrupt your netflix marathon, like Nancy: if I get my 📷 out that's stalking Rio: get permission first, like Rio: rule no1 of not being a creepy/illegal photographer Nancy: thanks for putting that in writing for me Nancy: I'll try and remember Rio: any time, babe Nancy: Why did he break up with you? Rio: Oh, someone told him I was all over someone else at the party Nancy: Ugh Nancy: so it wasn't even for a good reason Rio: I mean they weren't lying Rio: just overexaggerating but whatever Nancy: Wait, I've missed a break up and a hookup? Oh my god Nancy: really out of your ⚪ right now Rio: It was that kinda party Nancy: Buster does know how to throw them, like Nancy: quite Gatsby of him Rio: okay, nerd Rio: you lost me 😏 Nancy: you saw the movie, don't lie Rio: perhaps Rio: 💚 Nancy: and I only did cos Jordan Baker has such lesbian energy and her beard Nick is clearly in love with Gatsby so call me what you like Rio: she plays golf, no straight woman would dream of being that boring Nancy: or dressing how 🏌 do Rio: precisely Nancy: I'll find a well dressed lesbian somewhere, somehow Nancy: though it could take years Rio: no pressure Rio: don't need another wedding any time soon Nancy: Gross Nancy: I'm never getting married Rio: nah? Nancy: we covered that I don't like family parties, yeah? Rio: I guess so Rio: you don't have to do it like that though Nancy: anyway it's so hetero Nancy: no way am I being given away by my dad like I belong to him Nancy: or taking someone else's name cos they like own me now 🙄 Rio: 🙄 Rio: 1. who does that or has since like 1988 babe Rio: 2. we get it, you're the man, you don't have to do that either Nancy: literally every straight couple ever Nancy: and those kind of 'which one of you is the groom' jokes aren't gonna sell it either Nancy: I'm triggered at the prospect Rio: were you at my parents wedding or Rio: this bullying got you behaving all manner or retro tbh Nancy: your parents are far from traditional, we all know Rio: so you don't have to be Nancy: let me find a well dressed girlfriend first before you worry about dressing me for my wedding, like Rio: 👌 Nancy: I understand you wanna see me 😳 but it won't be cute Rio: just don't be so judgey Rio: that ain't cute Nancy: okay that's fair Nancy: I shouldn't judge anyone else by elite Chelsea girl 'standards' I know that Nancy: this place is just mind altering Rio: You're all good, babe 🧡 Rio: I'll keep you in-check Nancy: I really hate it Nancy: you'll see, even our house is too big and too.....blank Nancy: like a gallery if someone forgot to put the art in Rio: I'm sure your room is cosy Nancy: I've got space for a giant wardrobe that's a plus Nancy: and I don't have to fight Buster for the mirror cos that's a fight I'd NEVER win Rio: 😂 Rio: so there's some pluses Nancy: 😏 end of rant, I promise Rio: You've got packing to do, conserve some energy Nancy: I WOULD'VE FORGOT TO PACK 😲😣😂 Rio: Oh honey Nancy: I'm just sleeping soundly til the morning when I have to throw an empty case in like I'm Lisa Simpson starting a new life and getting new friends at the beach Rio: Its a plan Rio: not gonna go ahead and call it solid but you know Rio: go have those sweet dreams Nancy: we can't okay it when my dad loves his car like a 4th child Nancy: I'll go and pack Nancy: 🧡 Rio: Perhaps enough drama for one trip Rio: there's always next time 🧡 Nancy: as long as you don't tell Buster the same thing, like Nancy: 💚💋 Rio: 😶🤞

[queercapwriting]

I know prompts are closed and I feel bad about asking this but my girlfriend just broke up with me because she doesn't have enough time in her life for me so could you maybe write something about Maggie feeling like Alex doesn't have time for her and Alex comforts her? I just need someone to have a happy ending that I didn't get. But if you don't have time don't worry about writing it.

It’s always the other way around.

She’s always the one accused of putting work ahead of therelationship, always accused of not caring enough – even though she bends overbackwards, every day, every night, every moment in between, to be asaffectionate as she can be, to be as thoughtful as she can be, even when she’sexhausted, even when she’s a nervous wreck, even when god this really has toget done, but she needs to know she means something to me – but now?

Now that she’s dating a secret agent with a superhero for asister?

Now, she thinks she knows a little bit what it feels like.

And she understands, she does. She truly, truly does.Because their jobs are so different, but they’re also so the same.

So when Alex’s workplace is on lockdown and she misses theirfirst concert together, she gets it.

And when Alex gives her a quick kiss and a grimace and apromise to make it up to her and sprints to the DEO in the middle of dinner atone of the fanciest restaurants in the city because Kara – well, Supergirl –needs something that only Alex can give, she understands.

And when Alex leaves early – so early the sun isn’t even upyet – and Maggie wakes up to a cold, empty bed, she’s not angry.

(Especially because Alex leaves the sweetest notes: You’reso beautiful while you sleep, princess, I didn’t want to disturb you; I can’twait to see you tonight, beautiful; Thank you for an amazing, amazing,mind-blowing night (I always thought that was an exaggeration. Thank you forproving my hypothesis wrong, Detective); There’s coffee and a dry double-toastedbagel (gross) on the table for you, beautiful.)

So it’s not Alex. Truly, it’s not.

It’s the ghosts of everyone else – everyone else who’s lefther, everyone else who’s done everything in their power to prove she isn’tworth anyone’s time, anyone’s effort, anyone’s real love – that seep into herhead, her heart, and twist her stomach into knots.

So when Alex comes home – three hours later than she’d saidshe would – and kicks off her boots and pulls Maggie into a soft kiss, Maggiemelts.

She melts, but she’s also fighting tears, fighting fear,fighting the terror that Alex only wants her when it’s convenient, that Alexonly wants her because it’s convenient, that Alex only wants her whenAlex wants her, and nothing more.

Alex feels it, feels her stiffen at the same time as shemelts, and she runs her hands down Maggie’s arms until she’s holding her hands,and she pulls away from their kiss and she looks down with concerned eyes and asoft voice.

“What’s wrong?”

Maggie steps back automatically. “Nothing, I – you guys getthat last weapon back in containment?”

“Yeah, we did, Winn and I had to – no, Maggie, no.Something’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong, Alex, it – I – ”

Alex’s stare is fixed, but her eyes aren’t angry. They’reworried, and more than a little tired, and guilt digs into Maggie’s veins.

“I’m sorry. Nothing’s wrong, Danvers. Did you eat dinner?”

“Maggie.”

“Danvers. Did you eat dinner?”

“Maggie, please.”

Maggie’s back is to her, now, and Alex watches as hershoulders stiffen, as her hands open and close, as her left hand rises to herchin, then falls and rubs nervously up and down her own thigh.

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to spend time withme.”

Whatever Alex is expecting to hear, it isn’t that. “Like Ihave to – what?”

Maggie whirls around, and her eyes are calm on the surface,but raging just beneath, terrified just beneath, and Alex’s heart threatens tobreak.

“You just got off a – what – sixteen hour shift? Afteryesterday’s twelve? You should be able to rest when you come home, notlisten to your girlfriend….”

Alex shakes her head and furrows her brow and steps forwardtentatively, stopping just short of touching Maggie. “Listen to my girlfriendwhat?”

“You know what, Danvers, it doesn’t matter, I – if you didn’teat, I made you that pesto pasta stuff you like, there’s leftovers in thefridge, I’m going to bed – ”

“Maggie. Are you angry that I didn’t come home on time?”

“No. No, I’m not angry, I’m not, I just… I don’t wantto take up more of your time, Danvers. You’re only human, even though you don’ttreat yourself like one. You run yourself into the ground at work, for Kara,and that’s… that’s what I love about you, Alex, but I don’t want to be… a distraction,or an annoyance, I don’t want you to feel like you have to come home andentertain me, like you’re obligated to spend time with me when you’re tired oryou just want to be alone or – ”

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. Alone time’s important. But I gofor my runs, and you do your heavy bag, and I think we’ve been pretty decent atcarving out other separate time. Your outings with James, mine with Winn, andwith Kara, your video games sessions with Winn… But if you think we need to getbetter at that, Maggie, that’s okay – I didn’t have to come over tonight, Ijust thought – ”

“Right, exactly, you thought I needed you to, and I don’t wantto put that burden on you, Alex.”

“Can I touch you?”

“What?”

“Can I touch you? Would you like it if I touched you? I wantto hold you. If you want to be held.”

Maggie blinks down tears and nods defiantly, and Alex wrapsher up in her arms and kisses her forehead.

“Maggie, you are never a burden. I love spending time withyou. I love coming home to you. And yeah, okay, I don’t have the most sparetime in the world, but the spare time that I do have, Maggie? The spare timethat I’ve created for myself since I met you? And no, stop, please, don’tapologize – I love it, Maggie. Because I love… I love you, and carvingout time for you, for us? That’s part of carving out time for me.Because you make me so happy, Mags. I never could have imagined being as happyas I am with you, I… you’re never a burden, Maggie. I don’t care how many hoursI work, or how demanding both of our jobs are. Loving you, Maggie Sawyer, willnever be anything but an honor and a joy. I promise.”

“Even when I get all whiny and insecure like a twelve yearold?”

“Even when you get all self-deprecating and have legitimatetrauma from being abandoned so often and need some understandable reassurance,yes.”

“Big words there, Danvers.”

Alex preens. “I went to Stanford.”

“Nerd.”

“Your nerd, Maggie. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“You said you made pasta?”

“Your favorite.”

“Ugh, you really are the best.”