#🤔 will this resonate with anyone other than myself? Who can say!

[babacontainsmultitudes]

Now don’t get me wrong, I absolutely think that from a moral standpoint Glenn made the better choice at the end of the trial- in fact I think one of the most tragic things about that scene (where we hear Glenn’s reasoning and all that) is that if you needed irrefutable proof that Glenn is both a good person and a good dad, there it was! But of course by that point it was already too late.

But… Sometimes I find myself thinking about… How to put this… If Nick had learned of his dad’s decision, do you think he might have… Taken it the wrong way? Do you think if Nick Close had learned that Glenn chose to give up being his dad, he would have understood this as the ultimate act of abandonment? Or that his dad didn’t see him as someone worth fighting for? Not that I think Nick would have wanted his dad to fight the dragon either per se, but… Well, maybe deep down some part of him would have, actually.

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

🪓 Nerdy Prudes Must Die - Some Thoughts 🪓

I decided to rewatch NPMD (second day in a row 🙈) and wanted to write down some random thoughts and reactions because why the fuck not 😌

‼️ SPOILERS FOR NPMD BELOW ‼️

I loved this show from the second it started omg I love things about murder 🤭

“Riiiiichie… Riiiiiichie…” — kind of gave off IT vibes ngl

They really killed off Jon Matteson’s nerd character in the first 35 seconds 💀

“They twisted his nipples off 🤣” - WHY WAS HE SO HAPPY ABOUT IT

THE PROJECTION OF THE TITLE IN THE VICTIM’S BLOOD, STARKID HAD HELLA BUDGET FOR THIS SHOW 🙌🏻

“🎵I’m dead…the blood is arbitrating from my head🎵” needs to become a trending TikTok sound or something oh my fucking gOD

LAUREN YOU QUEEN 🙌🏻👏🏻 also living for that fucking wig

MARIAHHHHHHH 🎵❤️

Definitely felt the “High School is Killin’ Me” “I’m so fucking dead” in my soul even though I’m a full ass adult now

“I was deep in a Twitter fight about a problematic puppy” ROFL OMFG

Joey as Peter Spankoffski 😭👏🏻

ANGELA AS GRACE CHASITY HELL FUCKIN YEAH SHE IS EATING THIS PART UP

We all knew someone at school who snitched to the teachers lbh 💀

“So you don’t wanna be bullied?” “No, I wanna be invisible.” “…then why do you come to public school dressed in suspenders and a fucking bow tie?” - PLEAAAASE 💀🤣

MICRO-PETER 😂💀

Joey taking off his glasses and going “oh god” under his breath, “IT’S NOT ACTUALLY A MICROPENIS”… oh he ATE the role, R*bert who?!?

“My titties are tenderised” - I MEAN SAME BUT-?!?

“I didn’t know you were funny.” “Neither did I.” “I like funny guys.” — I AM SORRY BUT IM ALREADY SHIPPING HARD

Actually obsessed with Richie’s hair and outfit like I can’t explain it other than I’m obsessed

IT’S MAX JÄGERMAN

“Ohh well there’s a difference between intent and impact - I learnt that at an anti bullying assembly last month, FUCK NUGGET” took me off guard tbh like I know I’m tired and easily surprised but still 🤭

GRACE CHASITY PROTESTING THE CO-ED HOMECOMING DANCE I CANNOT-

Jägerman is literally the archetype of the school bully jock who peaked in high school like omg but also he’s into Grace?!?!

“I run laps in the gym and I don’t want to slip on any SPUNK” - FUCKING HELL

“Can I carry your books for you?” “Carry my books? 🤢 I don’t think either of us are ready for that, I mean we’re only 18!”

“My little dirty girl.” — 😳😲😮‍💨

“I am only one man’s girl, Max, and his name is Jesus Christ!” — IM FUCKING HOWLING ANGELA KILLED THE DELIVERY OF THAT LINE I CANT-

“I’m a literal monster!” - oh so Max is self aware then 🤔

“This is politics, Stephanie 🙄 learn to multitask!”

I love that Starkid keep casting Corey as Mariah’s dad?!?

Stephanie is apparently her father’s “October surprise”… so her birthday is in October, like Hannah Foster’s? 🤔

“Stephanie, please, I’d like to have an intelligent conversation with you - in other words, shut up” - DAMN WHAT A BURN

NOOO NOT HER PHONE 😰 (I am also addicted to my phone so I get it lol)

NOT STEPHANIE THROWING HER HAND BETWEEN HER PHONE AND THE HAMMER OMFG (same though)

Mayor Lauter really said “I don’t give a shit if you lie, steal or cheat to get your grades up, just don’t get caught” - spoken like a true politician

“How am I supposed to study without listening to Spotify?!?” probably should not have resonated with me like it did 🤭

Peter trying to make a joke and Richie and Ruth not getting it is so relatable tbh

I’m obsessed with Ruth’s mushroom jumper tbh

“I just want someone to touch me… anyone, PLEASE” — ROFL (same girl)

“What was it like when she touched your arm?… DID YOU CUM?!?” — 💀💀💀💀

“You and Steph, it’s a fantasy - like a boy and his anime love pillows. It’s a beautiful dream, but I’ll never hold the real Rei or Asuka in my arms.” — I AM PISSING MYSELF LAUGHING JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

“I’m such a loser, telemarketers hang up on me” 💀😭

DID RICHIE JUST FUCKING SAY “NANI!” JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I CANT DEAL WITH THIS SHOW 🤣

Richie and Ruth climbing Pete like a tree and demanding to know what Stephanie is saying is so ridiculously funny 😆

“Really, Ruth? A Star Wars analogy? Need I go into why Attack on Titan is superior in every possible way?” — STARKID UNDERSTAND THE NERDS I LOVE IT

“You’re telling me I gotta be funny again?!? I didn’t do it on purpose the first time!”

“Pete, you’ve been given a once in a lifetime opportunity - someone’s willing to tolerate your presence for a whole evening! This may never happen again!” — damn wish that would happen to me 😭🙈

Not Pete getting a boner during “Cool as I think I am” 🙈

Nooooo not Max finding Pete before he could go into the restaurant to meet Stephanie 😭

“I’m sick of your ssshhhhit!” — YES PETEY STAND UP TO HIM

The fact Max said “Rendezvous” as “Randay-Voose” 💀

The way it transitioned from “say your prayers” to the Chasity family going “AMEN” was PERFECTION

Grace’s father referring to his wife as “mother” is…something 💀

“He came up to me in the hallway and he asked if he could carry my books.” “Oh, Mark - I didn’t know that sort of thing happened at Hatchetfield High! Do you think you should call the boy’s father?” — ?!?!?!

“Mom, will you pass the butt stuff? The butter. Butter. Will you pass the butter? (Chuckles nervously) I just want some head and butter. BREAD! Bread! Bread and butt-sex to go with this big shaft of meat I’m gonna choke down. Oh boy…oh criminy!” - THE SCREECH I GAVE WAS UNHOLY

“I’ve just got some butterflies in my tummy; and they’re flying REAL low today” 😭💀🙈

GRACE FANTASISING ABOUT MAX IN THE BATH I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS

“Brewing up a big ol’ pot of dirty girl soup” - ABSOLUTELY NOT 💀

HES FUCKING SHIRTLESS WHAT THE FUCK-

“Everyone’s got their secrets, and this one’s mine. I love… Jesus! 😃” - this was when I definitely knew she was fantasising because ain’t no fucking way-

WAS THE DIRTY GIRL SONG SUPPOSED TO BE VIEWED AS HOT BECAUSE I AM VERY FLUSTERED AND CONFUSED AND TOTALLY VIBING WITH THE TUNE

🎵 DIRTY DIRTY GIRL WON’T YOU PRAY FOR ME🎵

You see, if Christian parents didn’t repress their teenager’s hormones and sexuality then MAYBE their teenagers wouldn’t resort to murder 🙃

Grace’s dad saying he’s going to get the plunger when she said she was doing a big poop 😭💀

Grace really thinks that impure thoughts only happen after marriage and I almost envy her innocence

“Money isn’t everything… looks are.” - yeah no that about sums people up in this day and age 😑

“We thought you were waifu material, but you’re just a bully” — NOT WAIFU MATERIAL 💀

PETE’S BLACK EYE NOOOO 😭🥺

Grace is kind of a psychopath and I’m loving that for her tbh

“I’m not comfortable with the plan if it involves that kind of language” but she’s comfortable with filming someone getting terrified and pissing their pants 💀

The “the place is not structurally sound” comment was DEFINITELY foreshadowing

“I get pus in my pits!” Jesus ☠️

🎵🤌🏻we’re gonna bully the bully🤌🏻🎵

“We’re gonna cut off his nips!” - what is with the obsession with n!pples in this show 😳

I’M SORRY BUT THIS IS ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT WHEN THEY TALKED ABOUT KEEPING THE BEANS COOL

“You’re like super nice to me 😀” “…not really. I’m just doing the bare minimum here.” “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.” “Oh, that’s sad!” — 😂😅🤣

“Okay, Richie, be honest… Am I reading as ghost or Lin Manuel Miranda” — OH FUCKING GOD IM CACKLING

“You kinda look like that homeless guy from downtown” 💀 FOURTH WALL BREAK?!?

Max must be VERY drunk because ain’t no way he thought Pete was a ghost or Ruth was actually a skeleton 💀

“Grace, we gotta abort the plan, it’s not working!” “It’s working for me, he’s so violent! 😍”

Not Max actually being touched by them putting this whole thing together for him 💀 very much giving off himbo vibes and I love him for that

MAX FELL THREE STOREYS

Oh my GOD THE FUCKING MAKE UP ON MAX FOR HIS DEATH SCENE HOLY SHIT

“NERDY! PRUDES! MUST! DIE!” — oh hey it’s the name of the show! 😃 And also it was written on the wall in… oh 😳

“I did get a lot of incriminating footage of us luring him here with malicious intent!” - uh oh

“My god! We’re going to jail! And with my luck, no one will even bother making me their bitch!” — PLEASE 💀

“It wasn’t murder, and it wasn’t an accident… it was an act of God! 😇” - Grace is UNHINGED

“No more tickling in our mommy spots!” - OUR WHAT SPOTS?!?

“🎵🤌🏻 We’re gonna bury the body! 🤌🏻🎵”

“Oh no she’s snapping again”

“I just cut off his nips 😌” - again with the nips?!?

DAN AND DONNA 😃😃😃

“Two weeks of heartache” - cut to all of his classmates happy without his influence 💀

STEPH PASSED THE TEST! 😃

“Ya know, this is really your C+.” “Oh Steph… you can keep it. It’d really bring down my GPA.”

Steph asking Pete out to the football game 🥹😁 we love to see it!

GO GO NIGHTHAWKS! 😃🦅 (I know it’s an eagle emoji there’s no hawk emoji 🙈)

“N, I-G, H-T… *squawk squawk* Ks!” 👏🏻🙌🏻

Richie is the team mascot and they wanted/needed him in the huddle 🥹

They apologised for bullying him 😭👏🏻

“And we’d like to apologise in advance for if Max ever comes back, ‘cause we’ll probably go right back to doing it”

“Fuck Clivesdale! Fuck ‘em straight to hell! Assholes!” — AGREED! 👏🏻

I’m 90% sure Jon actually struggled with taking that mascot top off but it worked well with the scene so 😌

“I love being alive! 😃” — oh he’s so about to fucking die, isn’t he?

IT’S MAX CALLING FOR RICHIE HES BACK FROM THE DEAD

MAX’S COSTUME/MAKE UP IS AMAZING OH MY GOD 😌💅🏻

“Should’ve joined the smoke club you nerdy prude” — ANOTHER SMOKE CLUB REFERENCE

Every song on this soundtrack fucking slaps I LOVE IT

There’s not very many men that can pull off being absolutely absolutely fucking terrifying while dancing and singing across the stage but Will Branner managed it so kudos to him

The bit where Richie was repeating what Max said (“who will pray for me? When I’m gone?”) was INSANELY GOOD

“What did they find? You don’t say…you don’t say!” “What’d they find, dad?” “They didn’t say” - 💀

“Oh heck… I’m so hecking fudged”

“*relieved* Oh well we don’t know anything about that one!” “Or ANY one!”

“Maybe it’s a coincidence. People tell me to die every day!” — Okay why is Ruth kind of me 😭

THE FUCKING CAMEOS IN “HATCHET TOWN” ASDFGHJKL?!?! ZIGGY?! MAN IN A HURRY?!? GERALD MONROE?!?

“Ohhh I remember before the lockdown” - yeah me too 😅

THE BARBECUE MONOLOGUES GOT ME HOLLERING 💀

Ruth walking onto the stage and into the spotlight 🥺 literally she was me this whole scene omg I relate so hard to most of what she said ASDFGHJKL

Lauren ATE that song up by the way

MAX KILLED HER BY WEDGIE-ING HER IN TWO AND THEN PUT THE PANTS OVER HER HEAD WHAT THE FUCK MAX 😭

Him telling her to “project” so those in the back row could hear her triggered me so bad as an actor omg 😳

Grace really accusing the entirety of Clivesdale 💀

As soon as the WWJD bracelet was brought up I KNEW what was going on 😭

“Who’s plan was it, Grace?” “It was God’s plan! And now he’s leaving me out to dry! Do something, you son of a bitch!” 💀😅🤣

Grace has lost her fucking SHIT and I fully support that for her

“Show Me Your Hands” musical refrain?!

BEANIES?!? PAUL AND EMMA?!? 😭😭😭 ITS FUCKING PAUL AND EMMA I CANNOT-

“Cup of roasted coffee” refrain too?!?

PAUL GAVE EMMA HIS NUMBER 😭❤️

PAUL + EMMA IN EVERY SINGLE TIMELINE, EVERY SINGLE UNIVERSE-

“EXCUSE ME I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR WHAT FEELS LIKE FIVE FUCKING YEARS AND I STILL HAVE NOT RECIEVED MY GODDAMN HOT CHOCOLATE” 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀😂😂😂😂😂 I FUCKKING CANT IM DONE

🎵”Don’t need a lover boy need a lover man / sure I’m a sapiosexual and you’re intellectual but I’ll cut my lover losses when I can” 🎵 — this song goes so hard omg

Grace pushing between them and shouting “leave room for Jesus!” 💀

“Do we need to get ahold of Ruth?” “Good luck getting ahold of her. Does your phone pls cover calls to hell?” “…Hell?” “She’s bisexual and dead, where else would she be?!?” — 💀

Grace whipping out the gun and telling Steph to cool her beans was so iconic of her

“(Canadian accent) ‘Cause if I’m going down, you hosers comin’ with me, eh” — OH MY FUCKING GOD

Doesn’t shock me a cop would arrest Paul for zero fucking reason, fuck the police 💀

“All I wanted was to be a regular girl with no sexual desire until she was safely married 😭” the FUCK-

“Don’t comfort her, she’s fuckin’ weird” 💀

“I don’t give a shit who you kill - but you just had to go and do it in that house, didn’t you?” — Mayor Lauter really said “murder is fine but NOT in that specific house, you fucking idiots”

THE LORDS IN BLACK?!? 😃 WIGGLY AND BLINKY AND POKEY AND NIBBLY AND TINKY?!?!? FUCK YEAAAAHH

“She gave me head in her car - check it out!” *throws Miss Tessburger’s head onstage* — BRO THE FUCK

WELP I GUESS MAYOR LAUTER IS DEAD THEN?!?

“Detective Shapiro, are you a woman of faith?” “Catholic.” “I’ll take that as a no” — THE FUCK GRACE 😑

They’re really about to summon five otherworldly entities who are evil I’m-

The Summoning screams CRACK and I’m living for it

“Hello Fwendy-Wends” - SCREAMING LITERALLY FUCKING SCREAMING

“WE DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR PHONE” TOOK ME OUT ASDFGHJKL

SHE CHERISHES PETE 😭

“Pay the price or fuck off” 💀

Can I just say that I need would love a show specifically just about the Lords in Black fucking about and it’s Jon the whole time as Wiggly exactly as he was during the Summoning scene because that was AMAZING IM SHAKING-

The fact Pete cherishes Steph and she cherishes him oh my hEART 😭

“Hey Steph, if things were different, would you wanna come to homecoming with me?” “I’d like that, Pete. I’d really like that.” - SHUT THE FUCK UP NO 😭😭😭

Not Max saving Pete from being shot 💀

“So you do know the Bible!” — GRACE OMG IM SCREECHING HELP

“But Jesus never threw a football like you, Max” - WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING

Max being confused about what dirty girl soup is and then being turned on when she explains 😭💀

“Take me, Max, right here on the 50 yard line!” — oh dear gOD

Max’s struggle over whether to kill Steph and Pete or whether to bang Grace omfg 😭😅

THE NOISES OFF STAGE OMFG WTAF 😭💀😂😅🤣

Grace got Max kicking his feet, twirling his hair, after one shag, just like a teenage girl 💀 I’m crying so hard with laughter I can’t cope with it-

GRACE GAVE HIM HER CHASTITY AND SACRIFICED WHAT SHE CHERISHED MOST ASDFGHJKL

PETE AND STEPHANIE AT HOMECOMING TOGETHER ASDFGHJKL ✨T H E M ✨

Grace choosing not to get the dance cancelled and she brought a date?!? That’s character development! 😀

She let Jason walk her home?!? O_o and then asked him to kiss her?!?!

“That was… absolutely disgusting! Really, Jason?!? Kissing on the first date?!?” Oh noooo 💀

“You’re a dirty perv, Jason”

SHES GOT THE FUCKING BLACK BOOK IS SHE SUMMONING THEM AGAIN

🎵DIRTY DUDES MUST DIE🎵

Well thIS TOOK A FUCKING TURN DAMN

Anyway, 11/10, immaculate, amazing, incredible, show-stopping, would recommend to everyone of course and will definitely be rewatching it a LOT 🪓

[papytonpropaganda]

A bit late for for the writing ask thing! 💖👻😈🤔💭🍰

💖 What do you like most about your own writing?

I guess I'd have to say how effortless it feels when I'm really in the zone. I don't wanna say it's easy, because most of the time it's not, but when I'm actually able to sit down and focus, I can crank out a whole Walls chapter in a couple hours (yes I have done this before). I think it's due to how much I love the characters and the story I've created for them, and being excited to share that story with people, especially those who resonate with the characters.

👻 What is one WIP you think you may never pick back up?

I have this really old wip from like. even before Walls was conceived I think. it was basically going to be Undertale but from Chara's perspective. I haven't completely rejected the idea of going back to it, but I'm just not sure if I have any ideas unique enough to really set it apart from other similar fics, or interesting enough that people are willing to basically sit down and re-experience Undertale in written form.

😈 Is there anything you enjoy doing that you think your readers hate?

again I can't really think of anything, but I'm curious to see what others have to say (again pls be nice if u have anything to say)

🤔 What is the hardest part of writing fic?

I feel like I could go with multiple different answers here, but the one I'll pick for now is basically trying to follow my artistic vision while also not pissing anyone else off. what I mean by that is like... I'm constantly trying to get other people's approval for my creative decisions, and I feel like that hinders the stories I write and my personal growth as a writer. while I'm not one of those people who constantly complains about "puritanism" in fandom, I do think there's a bit of a thing where people hear that a work includes a difficult topic, and they immediately distrust the creator without verifying for themselves whether that topic is handled appropriately. I have personally experienced people automatically assuming I'm doing something "fetishy" when I mention the topics that Walls deals with, for example. and I just feel like this is such a sad and unproductive way to interact with anyone's creation. it doesn't foster a sense of community or respect, or encourage anyone to personally engage with a work and figure out for themselves whether it did what it was intended to. now of course I'm not saying you should never be skeptical, I just think it's important that you verify for yourself what a work does with a topic rather than just relying on hearsay.

sorry for the soapbox rant lol. I'm basically just trying to say that it's difficult for me to stick to my honest vision when I'm also trying not to cross any lines. and that doesn't even have to apply to like, dark topics, it can also apply to just characterization in general (I frequently feel like my visions of Papyrus and Mettaton aren't humorous enough, for example, and that I'm turning people away by having all the angst in Walls.)

💭 What is a headcanon you have about your own work?

Chara is an entity in Walls, but only Frisk and Flowey are aware of their presence (and Flowey only knows because Frisk told him). Chara has various opinions on all of the family members at the beginning of Walls, and throughout the story, their opinion on Mettaton changes the most--they go from thinking he's boring and annoying to "if anyone hurts Mettaton I will kill everyone in this room and then myself" once they figure out how abusive Devon is.

🍰 Name one of your fave comfort fics (doesn’t have to be your all time fave).

I don't read fic much these days but there is one I constantly go back to and I would say it's definitely my favorite fic I've ever read. and surprisingly it is not Undertale. it is. uh. Harry Potter 🙈 but it's literally SO good, way better than anything JKR ever wrote and it's basically the only HP thing I engage with anymore. it has Harry actually responding realistically to having been abused by his aunt and uncle, and Snape is an actual well-rounded, likable and sympathetic character. I literally can't read the original books anymore because they just don't compare to how fantastically written the fanfic author made the main characters. the premise was a bit weird and I remember being cautious when I first read the fic, but the author REALLY made it work and well. obviously it became something very precious to me lol. but yeah.

[tekutiger]

I'm back to leveling another class to 90, and this time it's Reaper ❤️‍🔥. I'm sitting at level 80 right now.

The last time I did the class quests for this storyline was right after Endwalker launch, on Tobi. I honestly couldn't remember much of it, if anything! I just kept thinking... "I don't remember this...." "Is this really what happened?" "Was it really this traumatic the first time around?". Like, how could I forget all of that? I guess it was around a year and a half ago, but good gods. Mostly what I remember is the Arena area (in the screenie above).

Class Quest at Level 75 has something of a jump scare, imo, and I just... really wish that I did NOT forget about that. I was taken aback trying to cover my monitor screen going "Ew! Ew!". Thanks SE for that one 🫣🫠

I know when I first played through it, Reaper and Sage had a LOT of popularity due to being the new classes with the new expansion. It's possible I semi-rushed through the questline and didn't give it the attention it deserved.

BUT what I guess I'm actually trying to say in a very long ramble-y process; the story for the reaper class quests is really good. I feel like it's something that resonates with me, much in the way that the DRK story quest line does.

There are a lot of classes I feel like I mesh well with, and some I 'click best' with too (which is saying something for an alt-o-holic), but we're talking class quests here, not the classes themselves. Even for my main class, I don't feel like they did the class quests proper justice. Like... Red Mage and Vampires? (They're not actual vampires to any non-FFXIV players reading this, but pretty darn close, lol)

And no offense to my fellow RDM mains who actually like that story line, but, it's sinking near the bottom for me in terms of 'connecting with me' 🤷🏻‍♀️ (this has turned rantyyyy oops lol 🙃). I think some other's feel that way about their fave classes though. Like, I've heard split reviews with PLD and WAR... I personally love SCH's storyline, but I've heard people say they dislike it. So on and so forth... 🤷🏻‍♀️. To each their own, at the end of the day.

I'm gonna put spoiler-y things under the cut now 😊

If you've even reached Stormblood, you might notice something about this guy here ☝🏻. Even more so if you've progressed through Shadowbringers, and MORE so through Endwalker. Most definitely through Endwalker. 100% sure I didn't notice it my first playthrough cause I hadn't finished Endwalker yet...

In so many ways he reminds me of Zenos, and yet he also doesn't. There's even a small portion of this 70-80 questline that dips into Solus zos Galvus. It shares some backstory that includes him but the information is significant to Drusilla's story only, and for the sake of moving the Reaper class questline forward. If you're seeking knowledge about Emet, for the sake of learning more about Emet, it's not going to be much.

Speaking of Emet, I've also been eyeing those skills 'Shadow of Death', 'Whorl of Death' and 'Arcane Crest', they look awfully familiar 🤔. Kind of look like some of his Hades abilities, and his glamour weapons, no?

I could ramble on more about that but I'm sure that's been toppled, explained, confirmed, and I've missed it. Or there's better theories and HCs than what's brainrotting in my head 🫠

I know the first time I played through this class, I told myself NOT to like it, because of how popular it was. The same thing with SGE. I felt getting the opportunity to ever play it was either A) never going to happen, or B) going to take a very very long time to happen- as in, an entirely new expansion would have to drop with new classes.

It's over a year & a half later and I think things have finally simmered down with those two classes. Maybe. I can finally say "Yes! I like this class! \o/". I know that's silly, but so is loading into an alliance raid with like, ALL Reapers and ALL Sages. Does anyone else remember that?!

Okay, I guess it wasn't that bad. I'll be honest, I was the first to laugh very loud whenever I got those groups. Mainly cause I'd be the sole RDM and legit felt like a black sheep 😅

Now I get to level 80-90, and go bug Emet again in Ktisis Hyperboreia when I reach level 87, haha 😄. This poor man can't get rid of me 🥰

[thaunknowndreadhead]

My situation is literally when someone knows or realizes too much... hyper awareness. Then when I try to shine light on certain things that certain people aren't aware of, it's like they cut me off or call me crazy; when I'm simply opening, or trying to open, their eyes about well known patterns and things in the world. They still choose to ignore it instead of realizing that truth and preparing. This isn't about "religion". This is however about factual things happening in our world and happening around us and happening to us that reflect in scripture that was written thousands of years ago. But the people who claim to love me ostracize me. They do not and will not listen. I don't go about preaching to them in a chastising way either. I simply inform them, or try to inform them, and they don't and won't listen; if anything they ignore me and label me crazy. That's what I meant by there is no real love here on Earth. It really isn't. Only God is the one that truly loves and listens and cares. God will never forsake or ostracize you. Only if you aren't faithful then will God have absence. God has the ability and power to truly forgive and forget your transgressions as long as you keep faithful.

I didn't understand what was happening to me for YEARS. I was self-harming and having thoughts that I hated and didn't agree with. I was having issues of loneliness of not wanting to be alone and yet, when people (or other kids when I was a kid) would try to invite themselves into my life, I would always push myself away. I never truly fit in ANYWHERE WITH ANYBODY. But I understand now that it's not because I'm better than anyone or anything like that, but I am chosen and what I mean by that is that I am the only deep thinker around me and not one else ever resonates with me. I say that in the least boastful way possible. I'm not here to boast. But it's something I just really notice, on top of the fact that no one can connect with what I'm going through, I'm single, no children, always been alone truly, always have been attacked spiritually; whether it was seeing things as a child or even as an adult, whether it was being forced to do sexual things when I was younger or whether it was my dad humiliating me or beating me, or whether it was constant bullying and being an outcast by cousins or school friends, whether it was my uncle who constantly got away with bullying or hurting me or whether it was having confused thoughts that I didn't understand. I FORGIVE ALL OF IT🙏. It hurt me, alot of it lead me to a crippling porn addiction, which lead me to turn against myself even more by suicide attempts cutting myself and in recent past years a major sudden, UNEXPECTED, drug addiction🤔😳. It still baffles me because anyone who knows me, drugs were NEVER and were always the furthest thing from anything I ever wanted to deal with. I feel like this all occurred because not only was I not in touch with God earlier on and consistently, but God was calling me and I never gave God the focus that I should have. I'm an only child and barely survived, a premature child. My mother and I almost passed away while she was in labor, She CANNOT have anymore children, I stayed sick as a child, my mother has had constant health issues ever since I was born. With all of this it can't be ignored. I survived alot of deadly suicide attempts. Someone, SOMETHING, wants me here alive for a purpose. I give that up to God. God kept me here and alive for a reason. I can't ignore that. There are many others like me that are HEAVILY tested. I'm not saying that I'm special or better than anyone else. But I do believe, along with MANY others, I am chosen. God bless, and just know, if you feel alone it's because God chose you to be alone and is preparing you. I'm here to listen as well. I WILL NOT JUDGE YOU. I understand the greatly misunderstood. Feel free to talk to me if you feel no one in the world will listen. No matter what it is. God bless