#😔 someone help her
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can u believe this beautiful boygirl is not being pursued or flirted with…very sad…inquire within…
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you ever just. become overwhelmed by a sudden out-of-nowhere wave of tenderness and affection and longing for reconnection directed towards someone to whom you no longer speak for Very Good Reasons
#‘out of nowhere’ she says like she hasn’t been doing a lot of reading/thinking recently about various tragic messy breakups#and the later regrets of the parties involved#anyway. tell me not to text her#it’s been over two years since the last time we talked… absolutely no reason to break that streak now. lord give me strength#she was really fucking mean to me! like objectively intentionally unwarrantedly cruel! it ruined an entire year of my life#and fundamentally changed me as a person on a deep level! there’s a lot of things i used to like about myself that i don’t think i’m ever#going to get back#and yet every once in a while we have to do the whole ‘maybe i could make things right’ song and dance 😔#the thing is most of the time i’m not even really angry with her anymore like enough time has passed since all the shit went down that#really i just sort of look at her behavior and feel sad. both because of the impact on me but also because of the ‘that’s really how you#felt you needed to act towards someone who cared about you? you couldn’t have just expressed your feelings in an honest and productive way#instead of just lashing out in the cruelest possible way and ruining the entire relationship beyond hope of repair?’#and i feel bad and sorry that it went that way and honestly i kind of pity her and hope she’s gotten some of her shit worked out#so i’m not like. actively pissed off at her anymore. but also i can’t think about her without thinking about the worst year of my life so 🙃#i don’t actually feel that trying to reopen that door would be very healthy for me at least#we did try a Reconciliation of sorts a couple of months after the initial falling-out and while it was kind of helpful for me in that she#like. apologized lmao. and affirmed that i wasn’t crazy and she did in fact On Purpose say the most hurtful things she possibly could have#said to me given the information she had at her disposal. and that i really had not done anything to her that could warrant that. etc.#it also left a sour enough taste in my mouth that i just don’t see a future where the two of us spending time together is enjoyable for me#and yet… the regret will always live inside me i think. maybe if i were a stronger person…#caseyposting
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♟️🐈⬛ is so perfect to me because they just. Get. each other. also they come into the relationship with kids who aren't their kids but one of them is basically their kid so they fall asleep watching bluey or blues clues a lot
#♟️ 🖇️ 🐈⬛#🐈⬛ 🖇️ 🐈⬛#grim 'i'm not a kid! i'm basically the same age as the other guys!' of w.akanda#its ok grim i fall victim to kids tv to 😔#anyways#i think. when they get older (maybe way prior to when they get married) elvira presents grim to her Mother and is like 'look at him! you've#accepted him as your son for over fifty years! he has been my son for longer. you should totally let me and leona skip having kids since we#both only agreed on one'#and then her Mother is like 'lmao i love both of you but i am a fertility goddess for a reason so :)'#and boom the twins and then they're done#i dont think they get married until after their kids are grown though#there's def some pressure from his family but hers really dgaf lmao#besides i think after a certain point it gets to where hes spending 85% of his time in the multiverse and its somewhat better over there#(ignoring that it is. in fact. a m.arvel universe.)#he goes back to t.wst one day n gets hit with the 'well well well look what the monkey dragged in' and he immediately responds with 'i dont#want to be here. my gf and her family forced me to leave for my own safety or wtv'#anyways.#🐅 🖇️ 🌬️ 🖇️ 🐍 🖇️ 🐈⬛#i love the idea of the lesbians (aave-l) including leona in their relationship despite him being a Man#i think the transition into him being apart of the relationship was as seamless as it was for him n elvira to finally get together#in terms of accepting him i think it was elvira -> aimil -> valentine -> ainya -> leilani (after some time)#(leilani tried to kill him multiple times i just know)#they all go back to t.wst with him one day and someone turns to leona and is like 'wow. you sure have been collecting some lovers'#'actually i haven't. we're more like their (elvira and aimil's) lovers. they've been collecting us like strays' because is he wrong?#i think the only thing that sets them apart is that while aave-l are married in the eyes of the gods. he's not#bc. yh. while his lifespan is extended greatly. its because of radiation exposure#he hasnt died or been reborn/resusitated by any of them and i think they'd rather keep it that way lmao#they also def keep his phantom around for funsies lmao#elvira 'yeah i kinda kept some of their phantoms cause they looked so sad they were gonna disappear :( they've been living with me on#ramshackle grounds n helping out so maybe they could help out here' of w.akanda
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my favorite past time is splitting on my crush. awkward smile through the pain
#☆.txt#someone lobotomize me#logically i know what my brain tells me is Not True. However. what if i'm really not that special to her and she actually mocks me behind my#back with another person who is more dear to her than i am#even going through mental list of the evidence that she DOES like me does not help 😔
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you guys know a lot of info abt me from my random rants but here's a good one: did you guys know i'm scared of balloons
#when kids have them and they're playing with them and squishing them i die a little#i'm very afraid of loud noises in general. balloons fireworks thunder etc etc 😭😭#the good thing! ever since leaving high-school i've never been around balloons anymore (for parties and events)#and where i live now people don't blow fireworks#and i have never seen a thunderstorm here either. it's always light rain or fog#so that's nice i am normal now 😭😆😆#i hadn't even thought about it in a while#i just remembered because someone on tiktok said they had globophobia and the comments were making fun of her. it's nawt funny it's#embarrassing 😔😔😔 we can't help it
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Guys do we think xilonen’s signature (the first one) is worth it? I feel like the crit buffs are negligible if you build her as full support (which I am doing) and the second weapon aka the craftable one seems pretty comparable at r5 with the defense buff BUT signature gives everyone elemental dmg bonus and I’m not sure if I want to skip the weapon or not 😭 someone help me and tell me if elemental dmg bonus is worth the signature or not
#riv rambles#I want to pull her weapon I do but I also want to save them wishes folks#wrio 😔#SOMEONE PLS HELP#how big of a difference do we think this weapon would make with the elemental dmg bonus
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i love how cuddy is house's mother in the way that she can't save him. but she loves him and nurtures him to the most of her ability 💗
#he sees cuddy as someone he can project his problems onto and blame for them#he sees cuddy as someone who will save him (she cannot) he sees cuddy as someone who will take care of him until she cannot take it anymore#because that's what a mother does. cuddy would pray for him when no one would 😙#house md#disasterpiece.txt#otp: walk all over you#huddy is SOOOOO oedipal. that is a mother and her son who she cannot help but favor and spoil even as he throws tantrums and just generally#ruins everything. they're so single mom + the son who she sees his father in 😔
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#when i was a kid I was kinda neglected and my parents didn't like me very much but whatever#in tv there would always be these talent#and they would stare little kids with they parents being THERE and PROUD#so in my kid brain i thought: alright so to better my situation i just need to get really good at something and then they'll care for me#and the only skill i had been complimented on before was drawing#so i started teaching myself drawing#birds because i liked them and plants because i thought my mother loved and later skeletons because i was emo lol#and i think how i am so perfectionist in my art (eventhough i try to be happy with just whatever i make these days)#and i think about that quote of suzanne riveca thats like:#(my art) has to be perfect it has to be irreproachable in every way to make up for it#to make up for the fact that it's me#and about that one tweet that went something lile#sometimes we strive for pervection in our art because we hope to one day create something that doesn't look like we made it#and how i love drawing and hat that knife against my throat that hinges my life on it being good#and how no matter what i do#I can't get rid of that sinking feeling that i always have to struggle and earn my place in someones life#even when i know it's not like that and thats just the mentally ill part of my brain being loud and dumb#Like i got so many issues under controll by now#many reason to be proud! and be positive about things getting better and my own strength#but some part of my brain is still that little girl alone in all the empty rooms#and i can't get her out of there#because the strength that girl needed to make it through is the same strength i need to help myself through the waves of the aftermath#like i feel like to heal i'd need to allow mysf to be weak but that prospect of not holding myself clenxhed like a fist is so scary#and also knowing how bad my brain can be who knowd what would happen lol#and I WISH not every therapist in my city that accepts patients was a weird nutjob#so i could talk to them about it rather than the tumblr tag#but this is the hand we've been given and it's the hand we need to hold or however that goes#a few days ago someone called me charming and that was very nice#tumblr still limiting the tags to 30 😔 how is a girl supppse to therapise herself in that economy????#whatever!!! i am shattering like glass but at least i have viddy games and cool people in my life that like me despite it all and music
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All I want in life is someone who will sit and watch yugioh gx with me. Maybe play some final fantasy too?
#for the non voice acted games we can read the dialog in funny voices 🥺#that's what me and my sister do when we play them#but I want someone that's not just my sister y’know?#like a friend?#or a.... significant other maybe? universe....?#but seriously I wish my friends were into the stuff I am 😭#or at least were receptive to me wanting to share them with them 😔#I kinda stopped trying to do that a long time ago because it never worked#and the one friend I have gotten to watch gx with me I haven't actually seen in person in maybe 2 years and we haven’t even finished it 😭#we're still like halfway through season 4 😭#universe help me 😭#abby's just rambling don't mind her
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my favourite headcanon for glass sorenson is that she came down with farm station and watched them murder luke right in front of her eyes (or kidnap him or something cause i love tragic lovers but she deserves to be happy) and so she’s one of the first people to join pike’s militia and turn vengeful, and her best friend wells (he lives too cause this is my canon now) is trying to get through to her but she won’t hear it cause all she wants is justice and to get her oldest friend clarke griffin out of polis and away from harm (they’re friends too fight me on this i dare you)
(also sorry about the tags i didn’t know i had that rant in me 😭😭)
#the 100#the 100 novels#kass morgan#glass sorenson#please explain to me why she wasn’t in the show#actually dont i dont want excuses 😭😭#shes my babyyyyy#and this is my favourite headcanon for her#i think that after everything that happened to her she deserved to stab someone#i also think having someone explicitly in the younger main cast who was affected by the farm station massacre would help highlight why they#refused to trust grounders and wanted vengeance for what happened to them#because it feels like the show was going for a whole black and white youre wrong thing#which sucked#cause you literally hear hannah and pike say that the CHILDREN who were just PLAYING IN THE SNOW were the first to die#and then the writers are like but how DARE they want retribution#also im sorry but lexa was so stupid to think the ice queens body would be enough#everyone was so for jus drein jus daun but when they demanded the grounders responsible it was literally never adressed#and they didn’t even see the ice queen die#lexa just wanted to hand them her body and be like okay its done now stop causing problems#also she did literal shit to help because a whole ass SEASON later some of farm station are still alive being held as SLAVES by the ones#who attacked them#and if the main group didnt go after the ship for ita resources they would have died their in praimfaya or died through the labour#like please explain to me why the writers just brushed this aside and then made BELAMY the guy who lost someone he loved and was manipulate#the villain of that season like the fuck????????#not saying they had a right to go around massacring villages im not an idiot that was too far but the people who are like oh they were#murdering children how could they 😔😔#like the grounders didnt kill children FIRST and get NO FUCKING CONSEQUENCES pisses me off to no end#also im really supposed to see skaikru as villains fot wanting vengeance when literally 99.99% of the grounders we meet wanted it and the#ones who didnt DIED for chosing peace because the rest refused to abadon violence like titus and lincoln literally say lexa would DIE for#wanting peace and changing her ways cause her people would MURDER her and yet skaikru were evil for wanting justice
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Hot take: TFA!Waspinator and Classic!Kevin Levin are not only the exact same character, they have the exact same arc and the exact same role in their respective shows’ stories.
I mean, think about it: an asshole tween/teen who’s slightly older than the main kid character (whose name just so happens to start with B) and serves as his rival/narrative foil experiences severe trauma over the course of the story, gets horrifically mutated into a monster, teams up with a villainous adult to get revenge on his rival that he blames for the trauma he experienced, gets told that he’s beyond help by said rival, and by the end of the series gets stranded with the adult he teamed up with who’s confirmed to have later escaped and left him for dead. It helps that Derrick J. Wyatt worked on both TFA and Omniverse.
Though considering how badly UAF fumbled Kevin’s writing and how the planned episode summaries for Season 4 of TFA make it seem like it would’ve been a mixed bag at best, part of me dreads how the show would’ve handled the rest of Wasp’s arc had it not been canceled.
Oh my god oh my god that’s like really playing the same story beats, and also also, Kevin gets sent to the ‘jail dimension’ Null Void while Wasp gets imprisoned IMMEDIATELY upon being ‘proven’ guilty and neither of the boys get any like… actual trial? Just dropping this here;
But yeah no, Wasp is like an even more socially isolated Kevin (which is a goddamn achievement) who kinda went to prison before getting REALLY fucked up emotionally and physically. As much fun as it was to have Kevin be part of the crew in UAF, most of the shit he went through with Ben when they were 10/11 goes really unacknowledged especially with the hand-wavy ‘they’re working together now’ explanation being dependent mostly on his and Gwen’s relationship primarily.
#ask#anonymous#kevin levin#wasp#tfa wasp#ben 10#transformers#tfa#maccadam#damn talk about parallels woop#unlike kevin who had the course of maybe 5 years to spend away from ben with the one guy that sought to help him#even if kwarrel dying was more fuel to the trauma flame- there was at least a period (if small) of healing#wasp by the time we leave him is like at the start of the kevin 11 arc with already like… at least 50 earth years of prison time#a little bit of a reverse of kevin but ultimately in the same boat#and a little less REVERSABLE than kevin’s mutation given blackarachnia couldn’t untechno-organic herself by this point#instead making someone else a bugbot like her#say what you want about uaf’s writing there are things to appreciate and things to scorn haha#they were only kids 😔
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Literally @pileofmush helping me format my next fic
#what would i do if i didnt have her 😔#i love having someone to bounce ideas off of#writers helping writers 🔥🔥#LMAO#kibbles bits
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am getting a lot of character inspo for shri’iia from amy gone girl. I don’t think she’s as smart nor calculated but she is similar to some degree in that she’s hyper aware of the current persona she’s presenting and how she’s appealing to the people. the masks and the mjndgames, that’s basically how shri’iia operated while she was still serving under her matriarch in menzoberranzan. she needed to play the roles the matriarch required of her and it was only when she was with her matriarch that she can be ‘Real Shri’iia’, and that’s how I imagined shri’iia to be esp in act 1 when she is so new and scared in the surface. she needed to work out who these people are (her companions) and what they liked, so her first persona - her blank one - the charming helpful paladin who got tadpoled and wants to go back home just like the rest of them (which was half true). she didn’t really argue and she generally agreed to what the group wanted. she was helpful and co-operative, ask her about her past and she will tell you something bland and generic- interesting enough to be ooh-ing about but not too interesting that they’ll delve deeper into it. then, when she got to know them a little more, she started crafting little personas adjacent to her first one ; she’s the girl who’s curious about magic but never had the chance to learn with gale, she’s a cool girl who likes mischief as debauchery with astarion, she’s the one who likes to take risks and live in the moment with karlach, the knight in silver armor who’s willing to help the tieflings with wyll, a disciplined fighter with lae’zel, someone who understands the depths of devotion with shadowheart - but none are really her, not really. ofc her own personality might slip in here and there but for the most part she’s appealing to them and what they’d like her to be but none of it is really genuine. shri’iia just needs to be on their good side to minimise the chances of them turning on her, and if they let her guard down it’ll be easier for her to get rid of them should the need arise. taking up all these different masks, collecting all these intel abt them to be used for later, slithering and making a place in their minds - it’s really how she operated back in menzoberranzan. I think the only one who catches on to her game is astarion but that’s bc he’s doing the same thing too, so it’s very game recognises game lmfao
it’s only when she breaks her oath and goes through her existential crisis that all of her masks drop and her real self comes out. she was never that kind of person lmfao ^, she’s greedy, selfish, paranoid and rather obsessive. she doesn’t care about a lot of things that doesn’t concern her, she has a cruel streak that she hasn’t shown before, and she hates doing anything that won’t really benefit her. but she’s fiercely loyal to anyone she likes, like a dog. and severely she craves validation and approval - also like a dog.
#like if shri’iia was smarter and wiser it’s really over for you hoes 😔 but she’s not lol#the matriarch also taught her how to deceive so she had good training lool like that’s coming from the master liar herself#and in game Shri’iia’s deception is p high so it tracks 👯♀️#but anyway I finished reading gone girl and shri’iia would’ve turned out like amy in her vengeance ending#I think if her paranoia consumed her and an outside figure validated her way of faking herself#and generally moulded her back to being that overly obsessive paladin who lives to serve - which is what her matriarch made her to be#but obv she can’t be that girl in the surface .. they can’t know abt the Lolth worship! they’ll kill her! so she makes a new one … a#completely different one that’s so detached from her previous self … someone new and charming and fun and harmless and the kind of person#you’ll feel safe around and happy to travel with. she is that girl! and more! and she’s down for anything! and she loves to help!#but she forgets the goddess she worships is fickle and vengeful and proud so her favor drops and suddenly her real self is left#with nothing .. so she doesn’t know what to do anymore … she doesn’t know if she should keep up this fake one I mean what’s the point does#she even have it in her anymore?? how can she go back home when they don’t want you back#like who is SHE without lolth even … bc the girl that she has been playing is nothing but a blank image#and that’s NOT her .. never been her… so shri’iia is left bewildered confused and even more scared#like what do you do if you’ve been left behind in this new world?? and the purpose of your existence doesn’t want you anymore but the#thing is she knows where she went wrong.. but she didn’t have a choice - or did she?? shri’iia doesn’t know .. she’s not a planner#you don’t need to plan when your matriarch does all the thinking for you and you just do what ur told bc there is nothing better than to#serve and fulfill your oath …!!! so she ends up getting wasted in a party with the people she didn’t even care to save lmfao#and then she gets drunk and ends up fucking this one guy just bc she asked and she’s already hit rock bottom#lolth always says fuck elves anyway so she goes off and do just that 🤷♀️#shut up abt bg3.
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Today I noticed something in the Papa Louie Pals promotion for the Papa's Burgeria pack:
Lisa stands in her toes which means Connor is ACTUALLY SO DAMN TALL
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aw man. for a minute there I thought I might be allowed to take Ibuprofen again since I stopped taking the antidepressant that I was on. but sadly no, you're also not supposed to take it when you're on the anxiety medication I'm on 😔
#I guess I could take it anyway... but the leaflet says not to so I won't#this reminds me of thr last qtime I went to the ER because of my stomach pain (that turned out to be gallstones)#before I went there I called the.. idk on call emergency doctor or whatever#and it was this awful awful woman. anyway she said I should just take Ibuprofen so I said I'm not allowed to take that because it's a#blood thinner and I'm not allowed to take those#and she was really mad and said no it's not. it's pain medication 🙄#I was in so much pain and also kind of stunned by her reaction so I just. hung up#like I know it's not. I guess technically considered a blood thinner? but it does increase the risk of bleeding and that's why you can't#take it with certain other meds#which I think is irrelevant tbh. it's pretty clear what I meant and it's kind of. scary that this doctor would tell someone who says they'r#not allowed to take Ibuprofen to take it anyway. especially since I was having extremely bad stomach pain with no known cause at that point#like that feels dangerous#but anyway what do I know (nothing)#I miss Ibuprofen though 😔 I hate paracetamol#personal#cw medical#(also just. generally. being told to 'just take Ibuprofen' when you've already told this person that you've taken a looot of stronger pain#meds already and they're not doing anything at all is just. wow such great advice thank you! so helpful!)#(I mean I'm glad she was useless because that's why I went to the ER and they finally found out what's wrong. but still 🙄)
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second session with my new therapist this week 🕺 im trying to decide what leah lore I’ll drop this time around...
#maybe i’ll talk about the emotionally unavailable girl that fucked me up beyond imagination….#maybe she’ll call me insane for liking someone like that and it will help me snap out of this. ive been at it for THREE MONTHS#i say that but then I’ll be like damn i miss her 😔#<- PENDEJA FR
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