#😃​
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atlas-library · 7 months ago
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Thank you so much for your reply💞💞 I'm the anon that asked about if toge talked or not during silly time® I loved the answer so much thank you💞💞
If it's ok for me to ask, I also have another question!! A while back you wrote about how you think he would sometimes "go cold" on other people (and I think it was mentioned in the nsfw alphabet too). Are those depressive/manic episodes? What goes on inside his head when he does that? Is it something that is triggered? Does he even realize he is being cold to other people?
(also, sorry for not replying sooner🙏🙏)
note (after i FINALLY finished writing this post) : GUESS WHO FINALLY FINISHED WRITING THIS!!!! this is probably all over the place, i'm so sorry, but honestly this is taking me so long and driving me crazy so at this point!!! i shall blabber about specific points in other posts rather than trying to keep everything in this one. Enjoy!! :D
making my night once again, anon 😔​💗​ literally never apologise for "not replying sooner", you could have literally never replied and it would have been okay, don't worry you don't have to feel obligated to do anything 💗💗💗
and i'm so glad you're asking this question omg 👁️ i've had this on the back of my mind (and in discord convos) for a while now, i guess it's time to talk about it a bit more 😔✨
listening to nda while writing this because the bass gets to me
okay so, quick disclaimer, i'm not a doctor 👁️👄​👁️ i read articles from google and try to find testimonies from people, but 👁️👄​👁️ which is why, if i say some wrong shit, please correct me, like, genuinely 👁️👄​👁️
cw. inumakis are sketchy, scarification mentioned, child abuse/neglect too, mental health ohgodbuckleup, personality disorders (from cluster b), aspd + bpd mentioned, toge seeks some thrill by jumping off buildings and bridges so that's nice 👁️👄​👁️ ig we can say that's some suicidal ideation/attempt there 👁️👄​👁️
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Okay so, we need some background info before we dive in Toge's mind and mental state.
The Inumakis are very secretive, seen as a cult (something that's honestly kinda "wild" in the Jujutsu world because... wym we're kinda a cult but we got this big secretive cult that's more of a cult than us......), and they're basically naturally ominous even when they don't try anything.
The first thing you notice when you see an Inumaki, if they're an Inumaki by blood, is the markings on their cheeks. I personally don't hc them as tattoos, but as burn marks (which then had purple ink rubbed into the wounds) : the Inumakis use scarification as a way of identifying their clan members. Still, it's very specific: you need to be an Inumaki by blood. But your blood is only recognised as Inumaki if your mother is a "pure" Inumaki. (For clarity purposes, we'll use the word "pure" to describe Inumakis by blood).
Toge's father is an outsider who married his mother, a pure Inumaki. Despite his father being an outsider, this makes Toge a pure Inumaki. Toge has a cousin, his uncle's daughter, who doesn't have the markings because his uncle married an impure Inumaki.
INUMAKIS WITH CHEEK MARKINGS
Kanon (Toge's mother)
Kanon's brother (Toge's uncle)
Toge
INUMAKIS WITHOUT CHEEK MARKINGS
Toge's father
The wife of Toge's uncle (Toge's aunt)
Shion (Toge's cousin)
You can also get markings on your tongue, but it only happens if you have the cursed speech. Even then, there are different levels of cursed speech: so far, Toge's cursed speech is the most powerful in the clan. Thus how he got his tongue marking (made by burning as well) at a young age, before he even turned five.
I like to hc his mother, Kanon, also has cursed speech, albeit a lighter version that didn't draw attention and thus let her avoid the branding on her tongue. The more emotional she gets, though, the more powerful it gets (it "leaks"). Gojo experienced it first-hand, although only for a simple command ("Stop").
Toge's mother is, with her husband, the head of the clan. This actually doesn't mean much, Inumakis are very individualistic when it comes to the outside world, but they're very close with their own. They have this entire "us vs them" mentality, something that also leaks out of Toge whenever someone criticises the ways of his family (Maki does it the most). He regrets it instantly whenever it happens, mostly because he disagrees with most of his clan's customs and traditions... it's just his first instinct to separate himself from the person criticising them.
Toge's mother being the head of the clan simply means she's the clan's spokesperson whenever politics are involved; she also gets the final word during meetings, but it doesn't often reach this point. It did for Toge when his cursed speech got dangerous though (when he was barely two years old), and she basically forced the rest of the clan to let Toge stay with them.
(I know I'm talking about his mom a lot but she's very important. 😔)
🍙 small breather 🍙
Kanon, Toge's mother, is pretty much the roots of Toge's mental state. He's a carbon copy of her, physically but also psychologically: they're both strong-minded, resilient, kind and smart— But they're also control-freaks.
Kanon always had Toge glued to her hip, and even though she didn't mind him befriending Shion, his cousin, she clearly only let it happen because it made Toge happy. Kanon loves Toge more than she's loved anyone else— She loves him more than she loves her husband, by a large margin. Toge deserves the best because Toge can do no wrong— He can, actually, but she doesn't care. He's her son, and she'll love him till her last breath of life. When the accident happened and Toge got sent to the school, Kanon's mind broke a little, and she lost some of the control she had over herself during all these years— She became quiet and docile, weak, always hiding in her husband's shadow. Gojo met her that way, even though he knew better than to mess with her.
Kanon's and Toge's minds are so similar it's scary. The only big difference between them is: Kanon learnt how to deal with her chaotic outbursts and recklessness. Meanwhile Toge never learnt any coping mechanism— Mostly because Kanon didn't want to admit he was that similar to her. Thus, the adrenaline Toge is constantly seeking, the reckless behaviour, and the cold shoulders.
Now, regarding your questions about Toge "going cold".
Okay, so, again: I'm not an expert. But, I personally hc Toge has having antisocial personality disorder with comorbid borderline personality disorder... which is basically a ride, and at first glance looks like the literal embodiement of "you go from 0 to 100".
Okay so, this part is going to be a bit messy because the point right now isn't to write a whole essay about how or why Toge would have these PDs, nor to check every box for him to "qualify" as having these PDs; I guess we can call it "random facts that tie in with your questions", in a way. Idk, it's gonna be messy.
Toge has little to no emotional empathy. Let's start off by saying empathy =/= good person, so if you disagree please do some research and if you still haven't changed your mind, do some more research. <3
When I say Toge has little to no emotional empathy, it basically means that he pretty much... doesn't care about people. On an emotional level, at least. For example: Maki could cry and he wouldn't feel anything, perhaps mid-annoyance because her sniffles are too loud (if it were Yuuta, it'd be pretty because Yuuta genuinely looks pretty when he cries. Still though, the sniffles are annoying).
What Toge has instead is cognitive empathy. He may not think you losing your grandma in a traumatic accident is sad to the point of tears, but he's able to understand why anyone would cry at that, and he respects it and even offers you a shoulder to cry on. It actually makes him The friend when you need to vent or cry about something: he won't get emotionally involved, at least not like people with regular emotional empathy do, but he'll still listen (because he's a great listener) and basically ask you what you need most: for him to share your emotional outburst, for him to go on like nothing happened, or for him to hype you up without any of your previous outburst lingering in the room. Since he has little to no emotional tie to most things, it makes it easier for him to adapt to what you need, especially since he won't feel any guilt for not crying with you about your dead fish.
It can definitely make him sound a bit "callous" at times, or make him look like he doesn't care (he does, but in a very neutral, dare I say "monotonous" way)— But he does make sure you're feeling okay. He just doesn't necessarily share your feelings towards most things, or if he does it's really toned down, even for simple things such as joy (but again, it doesn't mean he's emotionless or dislikes you in any way).
Toge is addicted to adrenaline. Part of it is because he needs to feel. Part of it is also because he's used to sacrificing himself (more on that later). And part of it is because he loves the adrenaline rushing in his veins and numbing him from anything.
I've talked about it before, but Toge's a passionate soul, someone who gives endlessly and expects nothing in return— That's just how he is. His curse prevents him from talking, gives him one less way of sharing. And it's frustrating. All of this also ties with his own trauma, the neglect he faced when he was still at the Inumaki compound, of course— But he also seeks danger to cope.
Gojo's often found him on top of a building, or on a bridge, not always jumping but always looking down. Always playing some balance game— A dangerous game Gojo wouldn't even dare call an edgy prank. Toge doesn't think when there's danger, or maybe he does— He thinks about the best course of action, how to protect everyone but him. He's not part of the equation. Not only because he's extremely selfless; also because his only selfishness is putting himself in harm's way.
Toge thinks very little of his life. This entire thread so far doesn't include any significant other (other than canon characters) Toge would have, not because I don't want one included but because it's about his behaviour in general; but I think it's worth mentioning the people who hold Toge dear, whether it's romantically or not.
Toge is too selfless to live, but also too selfless to die. His only selfishness is caused by the adrenaline rushes he seeks.
Toge's a weapon. He's a thorn, an inconvenience, a dead weight people have to endure; he bleeds and makes people bleed, he's the flame that burns moths in the dead of the night. Of course he's helped people before, it's hard to live a life without helping at least one person, whether it's saving them from a collapsing building or helping them cross the street. Still.
Toge can't love, Toge can't allow himself to love. Last time he did, Gojo took him away.
Toge feels, Toge loves, Toge has only known obsession and destruction, yet he takes care of people like he takes care of the school's garden: gently. It's ironic that he's unable to do the same for himself.
He lacks empathy, he doesn't lack feelings but lacks the skills of expressing them, he lacks a stable mind that would make him happy or sad all day instead of happy-sad-sad-sad-happy-happy-sad-happy-happy— His way of showing he cares is by giving, but what else is there to give once you've run out of silly words, run out of gestures, run out of money? His life. So he pushes people away when there's a fight, yells to run, and only when everyone he cares for is safe or gone does he part his lips to bleed enemies: "Die," he spits out, similar to a snake sinking its fangs into its prey. No one needs to fear him, no one needs to see how ruthless he can be— So he gives his life, buys time, hopes that everyone will turn their back on him.
Toge sometimes has "lows" and "highs". What does that mean? From Maki's point of view, that he goes from 0 to 100 very fast. That he's hot and cold. Then again, she wouldn't be (entirely) wrong.
No one knows what triggers a low or a high; Gojo has an idea of the type of situations that would trigger it, but nothing precise. Yuuta doesn't know either, but he gets it— Or at least he tries to. Those two have seen Toge in distress the most, and still don't find much to say about all this.
During lows, Toge stops caring, starts fantasising about acting selfish, yet always chickens out— Again, that's not who he is. He feels a bit down, a bit angry at the world, but nothing a nap can't fix; unless it's a big low. Then, he hides in his room so he can cry and hit his head with his palm, tries to breathe louder than the sounds stuck in his eardrums, spams Yuuta with texts so Gojo doesn't have to catch him jumping off a bridge again.
He hates himself, too. More than usual. And, somehow, that's the hardest part.
Yuuta's had to find the right words too many times, he's had to explain to Toge why he cared so much about him and why he'd never stop caring as Toge was harshly pushing him away (both literally and metaphorically). Maki doesn't always have the patience, and she's already yelled "Okay, whatever!" and left— Only to feel guilty and check on him by the end of the day.
Gojo, similar to Yuuta, doesn't leave either— The only difference is that Gojo doesn't try anything. He'll follow Toge around and will talk about random stuff happening, but won't try to comfort Toge in any way. Toge likes it. Yuuta can be too overwhelming, too caring towards him— Almost too desperate to show his undying affection to the people he loves, and Toge finds it humiliating whenever it happens during a low: it's like Yuuta's pitying him.
Toge pushes people away so he doesn't get hurt. They'll hate him anyway, it won't take long before they fear him or decide he's the worst, even though he tries so hard to always be kind— They'll think he's manipulating them, and Toge doesn't know if it's true or not. Probably to some extent.
So he pushes them away first. This way, he knows why they'll start ignoring him, and he won't have to hurt from it. But... he also pushes people away because he wants them to stay. That's the biggest irony; he'll try to act cold and mean, to hurt them enough that they leave and never come back... because he wants them to stay despite all this. He wants to be loved despite his flaws, despite his curse, despite the fact that he's a thorn and not a rose.
Gojo stays, he's never left. Panda stays, he's understanding. Yuuta stays too, but he's confusing. Maki leaves but comes back, they're two sides of the same coin. Toge has people who care about him, but it's never enough; he's a time-ticking bomb, a mess of a curse.
Maybe he's not kind by nature; maybe the reason he tries so hard to be nice and giving is to hide how deadly he's forced to be.
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anyway hope that answers your questions! 😃​
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minjimunji · 3 months ago
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I drew Asian percabeth lol
Every time some racist loser complains about how my Percy and Annabeth “aren’t book accurate,” I will design a different version out of spite (and bc it’s fun 🥰)
So fuck it, Annabeth’s Indian and Percy is Korean
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vavoom-sorted-art · 1 year ago
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Angel/Demon Mating Dance (all the turtleneck madness drove me to... whatever this is. Enjoy.)
(yes, it is inspired by this:)
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bi-writes · 7 months ago
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thinking about being the new addition to tf141. you are an asset given to laswell by the CIA, a timid little thing but your aim is always on target, and you are quiet, tech savvy, and you do as you're told. (18+, dark)
just how lieutenant riley prefers. he dwarfs you. the first time you meet, your eyes nearly come out of your head from how wide they go. he's so large, and you feel so tiny compared to him, and even though he does nothing but a disinterested once over, it is obvious to the rest of the team that you might just be his favorite.
it's most obvious in the subtle touches. when you're getting ready to jump, ghost comes up from behind and tugs on your parachute, nearly topping you over making sure it's secure. when you're getting ready in the back of the humvee, he reaches over and buckles your thigh holster for you when he notices the strap is coming loose. you nearly choke when you feel his big hand between your thighs, and you stare up at him with wide eyes when his pinkie moves up the seam of your zipper when he tugs his hand away.
and then the way he's on your six is unlike anything else. like glue, chest pressed to your back, his gloved hand squeezing your waist as he moves you every which way he pleases because you're so small to him, so easy, and he growls under his breath when he touches the curve of your hips or the fat of your ass.
maybe you might enjoy it if he wasn't so fucking awkward about it. if he didn't stare at you without blinking. if he didn't adjust his cock in his jeans right in front of you. if he didn't grip you by the back of your head, tugging you any way he wanted as if scolding a kitten using the scruff of their neck.
you think the team would notice by now--that they would step in, tell ghost to back off, but they turn a blind eye. they tolerate this behavior, and you don't know if it's because ghost is so good at his job, they don't want to, or that they are so afraid of him, they refuse to say anything.
or maybe they approve. maybe it keeps ghost at bay. maybe it keeps a lion in his den. a spider in its nest. maybe indulging ghost in his fucked form of flirting and socialization is what keeps the foundations of this team right where it needs to be--and you realize, slowly, that maybe that is why you're here.
because ghost likes them soft, and they need to put a muzzle on their dog.
so when you feel him in the dark, slipping a gloved hand under the blanket that keeps you warm at night, he is pleasantly surprised to find you awake. and even more surprised to feel your hand slipping the soft lace of your panties right into his fucking pocket.
"they teach y'that 'n basic training? how ta give y'r knickers to y'r lieutenant, eh?"
"no," you whisper, and when you meet his eyes in the dark, he looks so hungry. he's untamed, no training, he's used to getting what he wants with no resistance. you turn over in bed, and you don't get to see the way he sucks on his teeth when you let your knees fall, revealing the pretty place between your thighs, soft and puffy and wet, just waiting for a good mutt to eat her up. "but i learned other things."
"tha' right?"
"yeah," you say softly, and you turn over onto your stomach, pushing back onto your knees right in front of him. he bends, leaning over until he's pushing his masked face right into the seam of your cunt, and you grip the sheets tight when he inhales deeply, a rumble following as both of his hands grip either side of your ass and spread you open for him. you're drooling, wetting the nylon fabric, and you gasp when you feel the wet, warm muscle of his tongue suck on your folds through the mask. it's lewd, and you're wetting the material so much it sticks to the strong lines of his face, but he continues, tilting his head to the side as he laps at the pretty slick that dampens your thighs.
"what'd y'learn then, swee'eart?"
not how to fuck your lieutenant. but...you did learn to keep them happy.
"h-how to be a good girl."
and you think you feel him smile.
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catragemiau · 2 months ago
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I was working on something else but couldn't contain myself when I saw new Maria render she's ADORABLE AAAAAAAAHHH
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roppiepop · 10 months ago
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Who’s coming to the cookout?
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dughole · 1 year ago
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everybody thinks having ocd is all about touching stoves or hand washing when in reality it’s really about having this guy inside your brain
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alectothinker · 4 months ago
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curious. how did u guys start dating
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27moremoons · 14 days ago
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childhoodgrave · 7 months ago
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roe-oo · 10 months ago
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u + me world domination ☁️
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choccy-milky · 2 months ago
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sometimes you gotta lure your overly-studious ravenclaw gf into spending time with you 🥰 📚 ( from 'Every Teardrop is a Waterfall' by Kat_12739 on ao3, GO READ IT!!! the first story is about seb falling sick and still pushing himself/not admitting he's sick until he ends up in the hospital, the second story is about the birth of seb and clora's daughter and seb's reaction to clora almost dying in childbirth, and the third is about dealing with a fussy newborn lewis😭🥹THEY'RE SO GOOD AND SWEET AND SOMEWHAT SAD (not to mention beautifully written) so go check it out!!💖💖 )
#READ SO I CAN YAP TO SOMEONE ABOUT THEM🙏😩💘#the seb sickfic made me realize how much i needed barely functioning and sick seb (but him still trying to be tough)#theres also a part that cracked me up bc at one point seb is so sick he cant even see straight but he just thinks to himself:#eh its fine.... ill just ask ominis how HE functions without vision later🤷 LMFAO#so stubborn...JUST LET CLORA TAKE CARE OF YOU MFER🤺🤺🤺#defs gonna be drawing more from it especially sick seb LMAO but also seb having a tea party with celeste🥹🥹#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x oc#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian x mc#hogwarts legacy fanfiction#sebastian sallow fanfiction#hphl#choccyart#also i was never planning on writing anything about clora giving birth or abt the kids so to be able to read it WAS AMAZING#THERES A PART WHERE SEB IS HOLDING CELESTE AND CRYING AT CLORAS BEDSIDE THAT I NEED TO DRAW😭😭#LIKE SRSLY seb being conflicted and not even wanting to HOLD celeste bc he doesnt know if clora is alive or not... IT WAS SO SAD BUT GOOD#i honestly dont know what seb would do if clora died in childbirth tbh.......i could honestly see him resenting celeste#esp since she looks so much like clora😭😭#LETS JUST NOT THINK ABOUT IT!😃👍#(still thinking about it)#like this line in the fic: “Sebastian hesitated; if this was Clora’s last gift to him he wasn’t sure he wanted it.”#😭😭😭ITS SO GOOD UGHHHHH😭 TY AGAIN FOR WRITING THESE💖IM SO TOUCHEDDD💖💖
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emmyrosee · 2 months ago
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I NEED more fluff sukuna I don't even care what it's about😭
You think sukuna is at his best when he’s like this: his body sprawled on top of yours, arms locked around your torso while his cheek stays smushed against your chest, half asleep from the feeling of one of your hands gently carding his hair, messing up the haphazardly styled locks. Your free hand scrolls through your phone, watching whatever videos social media suggests for you, while in the background, midday talk shows mumble softly.
Your hand moves down to gently rub the nape of his neck, where the buzzed hairs are growing a bit longer now. He shivers and burrows deeper against you, and you chuckle, “sorry, baby boy.”
“Don’t call me that, and I know you’re not sorry,” he murmurs drowsily. You scratch your fingers there again, and he grumbles, “I will straight up kill you.”
“Not my fault the big bad sukuna is ticklish there,” you hum.
“I hate that word and you know that,” he hisses. “You’re lucky I’m comfortable, dickhead.”
“You are comfortable,” you hum, resting your phone on your chest to press a kiss to the crown of his head, your arms wrapping around him. He curls in closer, and you chuckle softly. “My cuddly man.”
“I hate when you talk to me.”
You snicker, only to be interrupted by the buzzing of your phone on your chest. You move your arms to answer it, and when you do, immediately, one of his massive paws comes up to grab one of them, pulling it back down. “No.”
“Baby, it’s Choso, I have to answer-“
“Never mention my brother when I’m comfortable,” he interrupts. “Pet my hair more.”
“I will, after I answer this text-“
“No.” He ruts his head against your hand in demand.
You sigh, but ultimately, you’re smiling as you plop your phone back on the couch next to you, settling in for the next god knows how many hours, one hand carding Sukuna’s pink locks, the other arm cradling him close.
“I love you, sukuna,” you whisper.
He hums in acknowledgment, but he presses a small kiss to your chest as a small “love you too” back.
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brainrotcharacters · 3 months ago
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makes me giggle to think of X2 Logan meeting dp&w Logan when this is a thing
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#“don't tell me you fuckin liked it 🤨” “you have no idea 😃”#x2 logan is going to see that in the tva screens and go 🤨😳🏳️‍🌈⁉️#dp&w Logan going “you don't understand he's fucked up he's my favorite of these assholes”#and then turn around and yell at wade “FUCKTARD”#hear the distinct “oh he's adorable can't resist flirting with me across the room LOVE YOU TOO SHITFACE”#“KEEP AN EYE ON OUR DAUGHTER OR IT'S MY SWORDS IN YOUR DELICIOUS ABS IN THREE SECONDS”#x2 Logan going 🤨 at the daughter in question mary puppins#Logan being as hung up on Jean as he'd been might just Reconsider mr wade wilson#👀👀👀👀👀👀👀#pspsps Logan#one rainbow brigade bitch to another? i dont think jean can do that#she clawed u up that one time but see what walmart santa claus is doing here#he's riddling you with bullets ✅ fuckin emptying the cartridges on your scrumdiddlydumptruck ass#he's stabbing adamantium ADAMANTIUM swords in you up until the sword hilts ✅#Logan listen#jean needed to be with phoenix first before Doing All Those Things Which She Did With You#but Deadpool? Deadpool is in it for the shits and giggles#Look. I'm not a woman of science. But there seems to be Chemistry among us.#I'd hit the emergency meeting button but i don't fucking want to 😁#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#wolverine#deadpool 3#deadpool 2024#logan howlett#wade wilson#poolverine#deadclaws#Deadpool and Wolverine Honda#Deadpool and Wolverine Honda Odyssey
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sillylittlestan · 1 year ago
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Serving “going to church with your friend’s family after a sleepover��� realness:
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captain-flint · 1 year ago
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I'm here. I'll never leave you. I'll never leave again.
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