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fairyniceyeah · 5 months ago

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🧭🐰🐿️Day 28: "Say something!"

Numb/Cold Shoulder/Gag

@juneofdoom

Day 27: "Who did this to you?" - Alternate

Part One: Day 26: "Don't lie to me!"

Summary: Han explains to Minho why he was so hurt and finds out why Minho was so angry earlier.

CW: emeto, mention of arguments

Whumpee: HAN/Jisung

Sickie: Lee Know/Minho

Caretaker: HAN/Jisung + Bang Chan

That day was tense to say the least.

Han hated it whenever everything Stray Kids stood for - unconditional love, self-less kindness and devoted friendship - turned into petty arguments and hate for stupid reasons. 99% of their in-group fights were just that: misunderstandings and pettiness caused by exhaustion and lack of sleep. They were all bound to snap at some point, it just happened.

They would make up and everything was fine.

But today was awful. There was apprehension in the air - the kind of feeling that arose in herbivores when carnivores were close. Like they were waiting for the big drop.

Next to the apprehension though, what was even worse in Han’s opinion, was the coldness they showed each other. He was glad for the support by the members, of course he was, but seeing Changbin, Seungmin, Jeongin and even Hyunjin, who hadn’t even seen the argument, give Minho the cold shoulder and Minho returning the ignorance was strange.

If Han wasn’t so angry at Minho he would have tried to break it off, the whole situation making him anxious. But he was Han Jisung, known for fighting even if he hated that Stays knew that about him and hating that he couldn’t stop his own anger and pettiness. So he also ignored Minho unless a camera was on them. Still, he doubted any of the behind the scenes recordings were airable.

Only Felix - with Chan as moral support and possible damage control - had tried to approach Minho in the break between the early variety show filming and their individual practices but he was brushed off. Felix had nearly cried again, Chan helplessly offering support.

Over the day Han went numb, just going through the motions. Today was just plain awful and he wanted to just wake up tomorrow with everything being just fine. Minho happy as always and the group not angry and torn apart by a huge fall out for a stupid reason.

Han was sitting outside, in a small alcove between two adjoining JYPE buildings, hidden from view by anybody who didn’t know about the small space, when Minho approached him. He was walking slowly, as if approaching a wounded and spooked animal.

“What do you want?”, Han asked tiredly. He didn’t want to fight again. He didn’t think he had the strength for that.

Minho chewed on his lip for a moment, looking very pale. Guilty. “I came to apologize”, he said finally, after swallowing heavily. “Lixie told me.”

Han nodded but decided to stay quiet. What was there to say? Minho had been awful to him. A simple apology wouldn’t fix this - Minho had been so angry. So … so full of rage. It had been so scary. He didn’t ever want to be scared of his hyung again. He was supposed to be able to trust him. How had a simple fight come to this?

“Say something”, Minho begged when Han didn’t speak up. He looked so lost, so desperate.

Han sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“I … I don’t think I can fully accept an apology yet though it’s appreciated”, he said quietly.

Minho stood stiff for a moment. Then he nodded. “Still, I am sorry. I shouldn't have yelled. I shouldn’t have assumed.”

“You shouldn’t have”, Han agreed, nodding. He sighed again and stood to face his best friend. He was so, so tired and so, so hurt. “You didn’t even let me explain.”

“I didn’t”, Minho conceded. There wasn’t anything he could say to defend himself.

“You blamed everything on me without even thinking twice about it.”

“Yeah.”

“You made me feel awful. Numb. I thought you would think better of me. I know it’s not just a hoodie to you, I know how special it is for you. You know I know. Why did you assume I wouldn’t admit to a mistake? Do you think I am a coward?”

“No, please, Sung-ah”, Minho pleaded. His eyes were wide, shining with tears and he looked so uncomfortable and ashamed of himself that Han nearly regretted what he had just said. But Minho needed to hear that. “I don’t think you are a coward. I … I was so … I am so sorry.”

His voice got quiet as he spoke.

“Why did you yell at me?”, Han asked, sniffing away tears and wiping his sleeve across his face.

Minho opened his mouth to seemingly say something but instead, to both of their surprises, he gagged and then jerked forward, violently throwing up on the floor in front of Han’s feet.

“Shit”, Han mumbled as he jumped back. For a moment he could only stare at his hyung who was clutching his knee with one hand and had the other wrapped around his stomach, retching over and over again. Then Han jumped into action, stepping aside to stand beside Minho, holding him up and rubbing his back.

Han, while definitely not a fan of puking, ignored the disgusting puddle of yellow-brownish sick that was growing with every second, to whisper encouragement into Minho’s ear. The older dancer was whimpering and, was he…?

Minho was crying.

It broke Han’s heart.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry”, Minho mumbled between heaves.

“It’s okay, baby, don’t worry”, Han comforted, taking his hand off Minho’s back for a short moment to brush back his hair behind his ears, out of danger. Well, Minho’s hair wasn’t long enough to be in danger, but it still felt like the right thing to do.

At last Minho was able to stop vomiting and just let Han lead him over to a bench, where he slumped down in exhaustion. He looked pitiful like that, so young and sick. There was a speck of puke in the corner of his mouth and without even thinking about it Han wiped it away.

“Do you feel better?”, Han asked. He was so worried for his hyung. He wondered if this was a physical manifestation of the emotional guilt or if Minho was really sick.

“Not really”, Minho mumbled, sounding so small and embarrassed, “my stomach still really hurts. I don’t feel good.”

“Is that why you were so angry this morning?”, Han asked gently, not judging. He moved a hand up to feel Minho’s forehead. The skin was hot to the touch. Definitely a fever.

Minho nodded, closing his eyes in exhaustion. Han sighed and wrapped an arm around Minho’s shoulder, pulling him close so that Minho could rest against his shoulder. He moved his hand up to play with the soft hair, the way Minho liked it. He truly was like a cat.

“Yeah.” Minho sighed. “I woke up feeling so awful. My stomach was - is - hurting so bad and I was so queasy and not feeling good and …” He stopped to take a deep breath. “When I found the pullover in the laundry, destroyed, I got so overwhelmed. I wasn’t feeling good and the one thing I had been looking forward to was unavailable. I’m sorry. It’s not a reason for me to react that way, to get so angry.”

Han hummed in agreement. “It wasn’t nice. But I understand. You weren’t feeling well and robbed of a comfort item. I’m not going to blame you for being sick. The emotional reaction is easily explained by the fever you are sporting.”

“Oh. I didn’t even realize”, Minho whispered. His body - as if trying to prove a point - shuddered at that. It was cold outside, Han realized, far too cold for his hyung with a sick stomach and apparently with fever chills.

“Let me call Channie-hyung”, Han said, “he’ll make sure we can go home. Then you can rest. I’ll try to get that hoodie clean, hm?”

“Thank you, Sungie”, Minho whispered.

The dancer looked so miserable, so queasy and ill. He barely moved, only laying down on Han’s lap when the younger encouraged him to do so, until a worried Chan arrived, coming to check on his oldest dongsaeng.

“Hey, Lino”, the leader said and knelt down in front of the bench they were on. “Han-ah said you’re not feeling good.”

Minho nodded and then, hesitantly, reached out to grab his hyung’s hand and place it against his forehead. Chan’s cold hands seemed to feel good against the fevered skin.

“I already called a company car to take you home. Rest, kiddo”, Chan explained.

“Are the others angry at me?”, Minho asked, sounding uneasy and afraid. “I know I deserved their silent treatment but …”

“I told them that you are sick”, Chan soothed, “they are very worried for you and feel bad that they were angry with you. In fact, I had to stop five dongsaengs from following me here to apologize.”

“Oh”, Minho mumbled.

“It’s okay, hyung”, Han whispered, “we got you. I’m never letting go.”

Day 29: "I'm so cold."

Masterlist link: Fairy's Full Masterlist Fairy's June of Doom 2024

Notes: That remark about herbivores and carnivores - I never really believed you could feel tension and fear in the air. But in Africa I watched a group of rhinos at a waterhole when hyenas approached. You could tell carnivores were there before you could see them. Really cool experience and happy to report that it is not just a fictional trope!

And yes, I quoted Case 143 in the last sentence....

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fairyniceyeah · 5 months ago

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🧭🐶Day 19: "This can't be happening."

Sobbing/Straightjacket/Dissociation

@juneofdoom

Day 18: "I'm fine."

Summary: Seungmin knew something was wrong.

CW: dissociation, panic

Whumpee: Seungmin

Caretaker: Chan + Minho

Seungmin knew something was wrong.

He had realized a few weeks ago. Or maybe it had been months? He wasn't sure. Time as an idol sometimes didn't feel real - switching between so many schedules was overwhelming and it wasn't easy to keep track.

Well, normally Seungmin did have a good sense of time and happenings, able to recall their schedules when members like Felix or Changbin or Han came home in the evening and barely remembered what they had done that day. But Seungmin supposed he had reached a point where he also couldn't tell.

Maybe it should worry him. It didn't.

He didn't even know what day it was. Monday, maybe? Or Thursday? It didn't really matter anyway. He could just look at his schedules and see what was planned.

At times, this indifference scared him. At night he'd lie awake, not feeling anything. He'd never been this indifferent before to anything. Sure, he wasn't the most emotionally open member but he also did feel emotions. Not to an extent like Felix did, crying with every moment of sadness and laughing brightly with every second of happiness. That wasn't who Seungmin was.

But the real Seungmin also wasn't as … detached as he sometimes felt. Maybe detached wasn't the right word. He knew where he was, who he was, when he was. That would mean he wasn't detached from the world. Right?

Just, at times, Seungmin would only exist. His emotions didn't connect with him. Nothing did. Third person view. It was happening more often now, that he would watch his members do something and feel like he was watching all of them - himself included - through a wall of glass-clear water. Like you'd watch colorful fish in a green pont. Trapped inside the confines of the water and the way to the top, to fresh air, a barrier they didn't need or dare break.

The pont was a fantasy world and he was a cloud of mist watching from atop.

There had been that day during dance practice when he had first felt it. Seungmin had been struggling with the dance a lot for some time. He never was able to really understand the moves, struggling and tripping over his own feet.

Even Chan and Jeongin who had also struggled a lot had gotten the moves down two days ago. Still Seungmin made mistakes.

Minho had taken him aside, leaving the practice to Hyunjin and Felix, and had asked him what was going on. He'd been so kind, so understanding. But Seungmin didn't know - he just couldn't do it. His hyung had sighed, his hand resting on Seungmin's arm for a moment. Then they had done one on one practice - something Seungmin hadn't needed since their trainee days. He'd been too emotionally overwhelmed to care.

Then, as he danced, following Minho's steps, he slowly started to feel weird. Like he wasn't really there? It was hard to describe. He watched himself dance like he would watch Minho dance - an outside perspective. It would have been scary if he had been able to feel that - or any - emotion.

But for the first time in days, he got the dance down. Not as perfect as Minho, not as fluid as Felix or as passionate as Hyunjin but he did it. Without even thinking about it.

Minho's compliments felt hollow. It wasn’t him who had done that dance, was it?

Ever since instances such as that happened.

During vocal practice with Jeongin his mind had been so far away from his body, that he afterwards didn’t even remember learning the new technique the vocal coach had taught them. He pretended to know but he had spent a sleepless night of watching youtube tutorials on catching up with it. He still couldn’t really do it, didn’t remember how.

A photo shoot had been completely wiped from his mind. The photos had been so alien to look at - seeing himself in clothes he couldn’t remember wearing in a location he couldn’t remember being at and doing poses he couldn’t recall.

There had been several more moments and Seungmin knew how bad this was. Sudden memory loss? Feeling so far removed from himself that emotions didn’t seem to work? That were signs of something being very wrong with him. Yet, he never had been able to bring himself to tell anybody.

He didn’t want to make a fuss, be benched during heavy, stressful schedules when the other members would be even more stressed if he was out. He didn’t want to speak with a manager, private person that he was. He knew all his members would gladly listen to him and try to help but he couldn’t bring himself to speak. This seemed so bad, they’d be so worried.

No, he couldn’t burden them. Though he had nearly broken down and told Chan after that photo shoot but he had seldomly seen the leader so stressed at that time. So he had stayed silent.

Yet truth be told - every time he came back to himself or saw evidence of things he didn’t remember doing, he was so scared.

Ignoring was bliss, not having to face it was heaven.

Seungmin had no recollection of making himself coffee that morning or going to the company but he blinked and was standing in the hallway holding a cup from home. Felix was by his side, watching TikToks on his phone. He seemingly hadn’t even noticed how absent Seungmin was. Or maybe they had held a full conversation without Seungmin remembering it.

“Felix?”, he asked timidly.

“Yeah?”, the older answered distractedly.

What should he say? Seungmin hadn’t thought this through. Sorry, but I don’t remember the past thirty minutes at least? What’s up?

… had they even arrived together?

“What’s on the schedule today?”, he asked instead.

Felix furrowed his brow, looking up from his phone for the first time. “You okay? Since when don’t you know the schedule by heart?”, he asked, half-teasing, half-worried.

“Didn’t sleep well, didn’t have a chance to look at it”, Seungmin lied. Well, maybe it was the truth. He didn’t know.

“Oh no, I’m sorry. Let’s see, 3Racha want to record today. Let me pull up the schedule, you should be there … fifteen minutes ago”, Felix replied, looking up with wide eyes.

“Damn”, Seungmin cursed. He had never been late before, he hated being late. This was embarrassing. After a quick look at his phone - muted in his pocket - he saw he had five missed calls from Chan and Changbin and about fifty messages from Jisung. “Fuck.”

“Min-ah, are you okay?”, Felix asked, putting his own phone away and mustering Seungmin from head to toe, a hand on Seungmin’s wrist. It was difficult to have a conversation with the dancer without him touching you. Seungmin didn’t mind, it grounded him a bit.

“Yeah”, he choked out, “yeah, I gotta go. Sorry.”

He turned around and fled towards the elevators that would take him up to the studios.

The hallway seemed to stretch on as Seungmin rushed to the right studio, like it didn’t want him to arrive. His chest felt so heavy from guilt and fear and confusion that it was getting hard to breathe.

Just as he arrived at the right door, a hand on the knob and an apology on his lips, the door swung open to reveal a frazzled Chan.

“Seungmin”, he sighed, pulling the younger into the studio with him and forcefully closing the door behind them, “there you are. I was about to search for you. Han, text Minho back and tell him he can go practice and that we found our stray puppy.”

Shrinking into himself, Seungmin looked around. Luckily none of the three members looked angry but still he was scared. He hadn’t intended to make them wait. Changbin was sitting at the console, fiddling with the buttons but more out of boredom than with a purpose. Han was sprawled out on the sofa, rapidly tapping on his phone. Chan still stood beside Seungmin, looking him up and down with a frown.

“Are you okay, Min-ah?”, the leader asked.

Seungmin nodded jerkely. “I’m sorry, hyungs”, he apologized, bowing slightly, “I … I completely forgot. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

“It’s alright”, Changbin called, “this is the first time this has happened to you. Knowing you, you are beating yourself up about this more than any of us could - not that we want to. Are you ready?”

“Yeah”, he whispered quietly and brushed past the still concerned Chan to enter the recording booth.

The lyric sheet was already in position, so he took the few seconds he had to warm up his voice. Then he lifted the headphones to his ears and gave the others thumbs up through the glass wall.

He had practiced his lines often enough to already know them by heart - never mind that he still wasn’t really good at that particular technique. He knew he was doing a bad job from the start. The lack of warm-up and his own thoughts of guilt choked him, making him have to start over and over again.

Lost in the repetition he didn’t even really notice how he was slowly starting to lose himself. He closed his eyes in hopes that helped him hit the note but as he opened them, he was gone.

Seungmin knew he was standing in the recording booth, he knew what song he was recording. He knew that Chan, Changbin and Han were listening and making notes, fiddling with the control console. He knew all of that - but it was just like he was watching the scene on television. It was like he couldn’t interact with anything surrounding him, like it was removed from him. Maybe a different dimension. It didn’t feel real.

Still, he sang. The words didn’t register in his mind at all. Fuck.

This can’t be happening - not now. The thoughts repeated themselves in his head, louder than the words he sang. Was he still singing?

He needed to record, he needed to make up for his lateness with a good take. He owed it to 3Racha, to the group, to Stay.

Seungmin heard Chan speak through the speakers. Were the words directed at him? What was he saying? Was he speaking at all?

Everything felt so unreal.

Shit, Seungmin needed to snap himself out of this … episode. He didn’t want to …

Before he could think of anything that would help - nothing before had helped - Chan stood in front of him, taking the headphones off his dongsaeng. When had he come in? Chan’s lips were moving but Seungmin couldn’t seem to hear a word he was saying.

He was just watching. Everything was so foggy, so dream-like.

Was this a nightmare? Suddenly, his chest felt tight. At least he thought so. Fear didn’t register in his mind. He just didn’t care, didn’t feel, didn’t exist.

Or maybe he was a shooting star. Passing by the earth, a moment of happiness for those who saw but doomed to die soon after, fade into nothingness.

Then he saw Chan wrap his arms around Seungmin’s body. He knew, he knew that he should be able to feel it. There should have been soft and warm pressure against his chest, comforting hands rubbing up and down his spine. He should have been able to smell Chan’s familiar aftershave from where his nose was buried against the leader’s neck. He should have been able to feel the soft rumbling of his hyung’s chest as he spoke. To him, maybe? Or to Changbin and Han? Seungmin should have been able to hear him speak.

But he didn’t.

That’s when the panic set in. Before he knew what he was doing, he started to struggle against the arms holding him though he didn’t feel them. But even as Chan let go of him, everything was so detached. So removed. So far away.

“Hyung”, Seungmin rasped, tears choking him up as he heard himself speak, “hyung, nothing feels real.”

Then, for a long time, he didn’t feel anything at all.

The first feeling that came back to Seungmin was coldness. He shivered, trying to get away from it. It moved away. A warmness came to the same place. Was that a hand on his cheek?

Seungmin blinked. Somebody was looking down at him. No, not just somebody. Chan.

Chan’s hand was stroking his face.

Seungmin opened his mouth to speak but no sound came out.

“Don’t try to speak if you can’t. Can you hear me?”, Chan asked then, gently and calmly. His presence was so comforting, like a warm blanket.

Seungmin nodded. He looked around, head still but eyes moving.

The room was familiar, though the perspective was distorted. No, he realized then, he was just laying down. On the sofa in the recording studio. How had he come to be there? He didn’t know. He couldn’t muster the strength to care.

“Take it slow, baby”, Chan said, “it’s just you, me and Minho.”

Seungmin was allowed to drift for some time. Just exist.

Slowly things became more noticeable around him. There was coldness on his wrists and feet. He shivered but the coldness stayed. A strange aroma caught his attention. Curry? Spice? Something like that. Soft voices spoke above him and then, as he was finally able to turn his head, Seungmin saw Minho sitting on the floor by his side, conversing quietly with Chan.

“Hyung?”, he whispered, reaching out with his hand before he even knew what he was doing. The coldness fell from his wrist. An ice pack. Minho caught his hand in his and smiled at him.

“Hi, Seungmin-ah”, he said quietly, “take your time. We’ll stay with you.”

“What happened?”, Seungmin rasped, lifting his head up. He was so exhausted. But he felt a bit more connected now.

“We think you dissociated”, Minho said, throwing a glance at Chan, “do you know what that is, Min-ah?”

He shook his head. He didn’t want to stay laying down like this. He tried to push himself up but realized he was too weak to do so. His arms gave up under him and he nearly fell back down. Chan caught him, his grip gentle and lifted him up. Then he settled himself on the sofa, pulling Seungmin into his lap. The leader’s strong arms wrapped around him. Never before had Seungmin felt so safe, so protected.

Minho climbed onto the couch with them, sitting down cross-legged across them and took Seungmin’s hands in his, the grip a bit tighter than normally. It was comforting.

“Basically dissociation means that a person starts to feel disconnected from their surroundings. Unable to feel things or see themselves in third person view, like they see others”, Minho explained, “there are other things that might happen but I’m no expert.”

“You said things didn’t feel real?”, Chan asked.

Seungmin nodded. “Yeah”, he whispered. His tongue felt a bit too big and too awkward in his mouth and he stumbled over his words, “like Minho-hyung said. I saw myself but I couldn’t hear you or feel anything or … everything felt like I was in a dream. A nightmare. I think I should have been afraid but I wasn’t. I couldn’t feel anything, any emotion, at all.”

“Oh, baby”, Minho said gently, “I’m sorry this happened to you. How do you feel now?”

“Tired. Scared”, Seungmin whispered, “I don’t want that to happen again.”

“Yeah, I know. Dissociation is really scary. But I don’t think it has to happen again. It can be a one time thing”, Chan said, “well, the internet says so. I can understand it’s really scary when it happens the first time but likely it won’t happen again.”

“But …”, Seungmin said, voice trailing off and getting quieter with every word, “this wasn’t the first time.”

“No?”, Minho asked, surprised. Chan tensed behind him, causing Seungmin to tense himself. Chan immediately relaxed again, rubbing Seungmin’s arms to calm him down. It only slightly helped. Seungmin knew he was working himself up but as he went to speak, he burst into tears.

“It happened at that dance practice, when you showed me the moves one on one. It wasn’t like I was there but like I was watching myself dance. But it worked so I didn’t say anything. Then it happened again and again. I’d watch things happen like through a fog or a glass. And other times I’d … that photoshoot two weeks ago? I don’t remember it. At all. When I saw the pictures later I had no recollection of doing that shoot”, Seungmin whispered, breath hitching as he sobbed, “then today, again. That’s why I was late. I opened my eyes and was in the hallway of the company, holding a coffee I don’t remember making, next to Felix. Did I arrive with Felix? I … I asked about the schedule, I couldn’t remember it. That’s when he realized I was late, so I came here. And then during the recording I … I saw you hugging me but I couldn’t feel it. Hyungs, I am so scared.”

As Chan rocked him from side to side and Minho gently played with Seungmin’s fingers, he gradually managed to calm down again. He knew he could trust his hyungs and not being alone in his secrets and his fears was relieving.

“Min-ah, why didn’t you say?”, Chan asked worriedly, “we would have helped you. This has been going on for so long. How did we not notice?”

“Well”, Minho started, his brows furrowed as he looked down at his phone, “Felix says, that you two talked about the show you watched yesterday? But you don’t remember.”

“No. No, I don’t.” Seungmin’s voice shook. “I need help, hyungs, I need help. Memory loss is so bad. Something is wrong with me and it’s getting worse, I think.”

“You’ll get help”, Chan said, moving Seungmin’s head so he was resting on his shoulder, “I promise, we’ll figure this out. The fact that the memory loss is going hand in hand with what seems to be dissociation probably means that it’s connected. It can be a symptom. Also, the fact that the ice and the strong smell helped you come back from this, also makes it likely you’re just dissociating.”

He lifted his fingers to air-quote as he said just. Because it wasn’t. It wasn’t just a simple thing.

“Chan will call a manager later to find you a psychiatrist, okay? We’ll see what an expert says but we’ll be with you all the time to help you, okay?”, Minho promised.

Seungmin nodded in thanks. While he was still scared, the prospect of professional help calmed him down somewhat. He was so so grateful to his hyungs. Suddenly, he yawned and had to fight his eyes falling shut against his will. While he was indeed very tired, his curiosity was still bigger.

“Where are Changbinnie-hyung and Hannie-hyung?”, he asked quietly, “and did the ice and the smell really help? How did you know it would?”

“Half-asleep and still thirsting for knowledge”, Minho teased. Seungmin felt Chan’s chest rumble as he laughed.

“I sent them to get Minho when we realized something was going on with you”, Chan explained, “I didn’t want Han to be scared or possibly have a panic attack when we didn't know what was going on. And yeah, the ice and the smell was Minho’s idea and it really helped. It was a bit unnerving to see you stare up blankly but soon after the ice touched you, you at least started blinking. I am also curious though. How did you know?”

Minho flushed a bit red under the attention. “Well, uh, I didn’t know but I thought it was worth a try. I , uh, well, I saw it happen with Namjoon-hyung when I was one of their back-up dancers. I don’t really remember why but it was just Namjoon-hyung, Suga-hyung and me when Namjoon-hyung went blank - kinda like you did. I was really worried so Suga-hyung explained it to me. Ice helped Namjoon-hyung a lot and well, Suga-hyung always carried around smelling salts for him, apparently. So I figured, since we didn’t have smelling salts, that the instant curry I had in my bag would also help.”

“You brought me back from dissociation with instant curry?”, Seungmin asked incredulously.

“Hey”, Minho defended himself, lifting his hands, “it helped, didn’t it?”

“Yeah”, Seungmin mumbled begrudgingly and yawned again, closing his eyes and nuzzling closer to Chan. He was already half-asleep when he heard Chan mumble: “Sleep, baby. Hyungs are here, we’ll figure this out together.”

Day 20: "I can handle it."

Masterlist link: Fairy's Full Masterlist Fairy's June of Doom 2024

Notes: I have never dissociated before - so this is just based on what I read. I hope this is okay and doesn't play into wrong stereotypes!

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