#🐛 now <🦋 later

[eatingfood]

Why does it look like everyone in public has connections, friendship, community or a relationship. I know that’s not the case but how I feel right now makes me think that. I’m exhausted from trying to find likeminded people, haven’t even come to the point of meeting up.

Imagine if I do meet up with someone and I come off extremely attached because I’m just super interested and eager to form an actual connection and friendship again. (I know, I’m never too much for the right people)

I have created a secure attachment style but a tiny part of me is afraid I will seem like I have an anxious attachment style like I used to.

So much healing has come in the years of being alone, but there’s still so much trauma around friendship, I never had a healthy, decent friendship or one that didn’t take advantage of me, not really anything that deserved my energy. At least I know myself enough to not let that happen ever again.

I’m going on 5 solo trips this year, I don’t know if I will do that many next year. I’m longing for company, that hyper independence isn’t good and doesn’t make me happy. I’m picky, I will not be desperate and I’m not wasting anyone’s time, it has to be good and true.

[hypnautic-cereal]

❤️Stick(ers) with love❤️

🎨🦋A Welcome Home fan fic🌸🐛

Summary: Wally wants to hang out with his friends on a warm summer day, but he worries over picking the pilings off his fleece skin

Word count: 1,396 words

Characters involved: Wally Darling, Home, Julie Joyful, Frank Frankly, Howdy Pillar

Contents:

Dermatillomania (portrayed via fabric piling and cotton)

Fluff :D

Helping friends

Compulsions

Additional art at end jumpscare lol

Notes: This is my first time putting one of my fan fictions actually out in the world sooo any constructive criticism is appreciated. This is somewhat based on my own experiences with dermatillomania, and honestly I just kind of wanted some kind of outlet to share how I feel about it sometimes :,D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wally had woken up a little bit later than usual, but nothing would deter from the smiling summer day that the neighborhood had today. Home opened up one of its windows to let Wally have a nice breath of the morning summer air, and a small wave of heat rushed inside as Wally happily sighed. Crossing his arms over the windowsill, he felt something on his arm that had been unconsciously bothering him for months now. It seemed to have been piling from his fleece skin coming up again for Wally. It didn’t seem to bother Wally for the time being though, but Home was always concerned over Wally picking at the pilings. The piling picking would sometimes go to the point Wally would pick too hard and bits of his cotton insides would peek out.

Home warned through the creaking doors and floorboards for Wally to not pick at his arm this time around if he wanted to go outside with short sleeves today. Home also warned that he would dig too deep into his skin again and ruin his arm; ��it’s done enough scarring to your beautiful skin already, Wally” Home creaked, pointing to the very tiny seams Home had to patch for him. Wally didn’t seem to fond of the idea of wearing his cardigan on an already warm day, but he didn’t seem fond of picking at his skin either, so he decided to wear his cardigan over a shorter sleeved white button up. Wally was going out to Howdy’s Place with Julie and Frank for smoothies and milkshakes, so Wally was more than eager to go outside and play.

After showering and preparing his hair, Wally was all dolled up to go and hang out with his friends. Wally stepped outside and waved goodbye to Home before going on his merry way. Although there was a nice breeze every now and then, the summer heat made Wally feel like he’d turn into butter if he didn’t find anything to cool him down. As Wally made his way to Howdy’s Place, he decided the cardigan was too much for him, and wrapped the cardigan around his waist. The summers heat felt so much better on Wally now that he didn’t have his wooly blue cardigan to retain heat.

The bell inside Howdy’s Place’s door gave a nice ring, and Wally stepped inside to see his friends waiting for him. Wally sighed and wiped the droplets of sweat off his forehead before sitting next to Julie. The three got Neapolitan milkshakes, but separate. Wally got a simple strawberry milkshake, Julie got a double chocolate milkshake, and Frank got a plain vanilla milkshake. Julie paid for the trio’s drinks, and thank the stars that Barnaby’s joke lessons are working out finally for her. After Howdy and the trio had quite the laugh from Julie’s jokes, Wally, Frank, and Julie happily enjoyed their milkshakes. While Julie yapped on and on to Frank about her summer plans, Wally once again crossed his arms as he happily enjoyed his milkshake. Whether he was aware of it or not, Wally felt the pilings on his arm again, and started to pick at it.

It didn’t hurt, but at the same time it did. It felt as if Wally was pricking his arm with a somewhat dull sewing needle all over his arm. He wasn’t doing much else while his friends talked and Howdy managed the store, but his focus was still on drinking his milkshake, so why was he picking at his skin? Perhaps it’s a need for perfection. How else was he going to get his arm smooth again from the piling? Wally didn’t feel exactly bad for doing it, but at the same time he did.

“Wally, are you doing alright there?” Frank asked as he looked over to Wally. Blinking from his state of thought, Wally looked back over to Julie and Frank. “Oh, yes! I am doing well.” Wally exclaimed monotonously. Wally uncrossed his arms, but still held onto his one arm that had all the piling, rubbing his thumb against it all. Julie tilted her head to side to take a look, and took note of how Wally rubbing his thumb against his arm. “Is your arm ok Wally? Can I see?” Julie asked curiously. Wally looked to the side in thought, and considering he can’t exactly hide his arm now that Julie’s curious about it. Julie holds her hand out kindly to Wally, and Wally allows Julie to see his arm, continuing to look away reluctantly.

Julie took a closer look at the pilings in an odd sense of curiosity. It seems like rainbow monsters like Julie haven’t been through anything like this before. Frank looked over from where he sat as Wally took back his arm to go back to his milkshake.

“You don’t have to be ashamed of it Wally.” Frank comforted to Wally. Wally looked back up from his milkshake to look at Frank, surprised at the words they had to say. “It’s something that’s compulsive to you, right?”

“Compulsive?” Wally asked as he tilted his head in question.

“Something you tend to do on repeat, regardless of how often you try to control it.” Frank explained calmly.

Wally understanding what the word meant now, he nodded his head a bit sadly, knowing what Frank described fits to Wally’s picking. “Hm…Well, you don’t have to feel sad about it!” Julie exclaimed to Wally.

“I don’t?” Wally asked.

“Not at all! If all that describes something compulsive, then that should mean that Frank and I’s flappy hands are compulsive too!” Julie said excitedly.

Wally and Frank laughed to Julie’s enthusiasm. “Well, you aren’t wrong in that sense Julie, no. Though it’s different to what Wally’s compulsions are, that being his skin picking.” Julie looks to Wally’s arm, then back to Wally.

“Does itttt..hurt whenever you pick at your skin Wally?” Julie asked curiously.

Wally shook his head no.

“It hurts, yes, but it only feels like a pinch every time.” Wally explains in his usual monotonous tone.

Julie tries to get an idea after learning this new information, and spins around on the barstool seat while sipping her milkshake. Glancing at the rack of sticker sheets Howdy has in his shop, the lightbulb flickers in her head with an idea. She quickly got down from her chair, grabbed a sticker pack, and went back to her seat.

“Hey Howdy! How much for the stickers?” Julie asked as she waved the sticker pack in the air.

“One joke per pack, Jules!” Howdy answered.

“….Well, whatdya call a sticker that’s always late?” Julie asked Howdy.

“Hmm, I dunno Jules, what do you call a sticker that’s always late?” Howdy questioned back.

“Stick around! It’ll show up eventually.” Julie answered.

Although it took a couple of seconds for Howdy and Frank to catch on, it was a holler and a half once they got the joke (Wally laughed, but he didn’t quite understand). Howdy wipes a tear from his eye from the laugh and settles down. “Oh boy, alright you won this one Julie. Now, whatdya need those stickers for anyway?” Howdy asked a bit puzzled.

Julie demonstrated by putting a sticker on her face, and slowly peeling it off. “I think that since there’s a little itty bitty bite of hurt whenever Wally picks at his skin, Wally can put these stickers on his arm! That way when he tries to pick at his skin, it won’t hurt as much!” Julie prompted. Wally and Howdy were bedazzled by the idea of using stickers on Wally’s arm to pick at rather than his own skin. “The peeling of the stickers could give the same stimulation Wally gets from digging into his skin to get the pilings off of him! Not a bad idea Julie.” Frank admitted.

Julie gave a little flappy hands to Frank’s approval of the idea, and turned to Wally for a true test of approval.

“What do you think Wally? Does it sound good to you?” Julie asked excitedly.

“That idea sounds like the absolute most! I think we should try it!” Wally said as he gave a happy nod in yes.

Julie jumped in joy as Wally said yes to her idea, and Julie, Frank, and Howdy all helped to cover Wally in as many stickers as he wanted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’ll probably draw some art of the ending too where Howdy, Julie and Frank are putting stickers all over Wally :3

[longdeadking]

dashboard simulator

👯 crows-on-a-log

guys im literally undergoing a crisis right now can anyone hear me

#my dad goin craaaaazy #he stole the lightbulbs out of my ezbake oven for the fifth time :( #vent post #delete later

2 notes

☠️ williamaftonshugepersonality 🔁

😶‍🌫️ boypenis Follow

MEDIA DASHBOARD SIMULATOR

😃 blogname-here

did yall see the new episode......... glopp sploinky was sooooooooooooo

#im normal about him! #<- blatant lies #media liveblog

(24 notes)

😼 discourse-haver Follow

i just dont see why we have to portray every male character in Media as female....... cant we just leave them male, as the creators intended? lol

🪴 rational-thinker

what world do you live in that people are being forced to hc male characters as female????

😼 discourse-haver Follow

youd understand if you were a fandom elder like me.......

🪴 rational-thinker

your blog is a month old

(104 notes)

😚 trustedmutual 🔁

👙 cup-size-tournament Follow

glopp sploinky propaganda:

he's literally just a cisgender man with 5 minutes of screentime

Woman McAwesome propaganda:

she has a canonical rack, she's a lead character, she's super buff and could crush you, she has an interesting arc and her emotional narrative factors into the main plot in impactful ways

#vote glopp sploinky!!!! #GLOPP SPLOINKY SWEEEEEP!!!!! #thats my husband! fuck woman mcawesome lol

(1,267 notes)

🖌 supercoolartist 🔁

🖌 supercoolartist

made a little doodle <3

if you dont reblog my art ill kill you btw <3

#self rb for the morning crowd #glopp sploinky x blorbo C #gloc fanart

(12 notes)

Based on your Likes!

😈 guy-you-have-blocked Follow

hey anyone want to hear the worst take of all time as shown through a low-effort meme that i stole from reddit?

(127,363 notes)

😚 trustedmutual 🔁

💝 fandomroyalty Follow

i would let woman mcawesome step on my face

💝 fandomroyalty Follow 🔁

10k woman mcawesome hornyposting

#happy woman mcawesome hornyposting wednesday

(11,560 notes)

#long post #dashboard simulator

13,498 notes

🍊 the-real-onceler

all im saying is that homestuck is actually a modern epic poem a la gilgamesh the oddesey the journey to the west etc. essay below the cut if you want me to cite my sources

Read More

#onceler essays #i literally wrote my thesis on this

1,045 notes

🤡 puns-are-for-losers

goncharov ebby deepy glup shitto blorbo old man yaoi vanilla extract post simulators tournaments tumblr live homestuck 2 barbenheimer. we didnt start the fire

656,099 notes

🦋 axels-random-blog 🔁

🌹 girluterus Follow

what if weevils had tumblr

👤 burrowing-for-goodies-deactivated-2024

guyssss i just found the juiciest tomato to chow down on.... hmu for my location in the garden

150 insectoid notes

🐛 evil-weevil

attention garden dwellers!! do not eat the fresh produce in the southwest corner of the garden!! the humans just sprayed insecticide on them, so if you eat them you will die!!!!

🪲 carapace-is-popping

wtf this is blatant misinfo..... my buddy @burrowing-for-goodies just ate some tomatoes from the southwest corner and hes fine. youre just hoarding bro its so obvious

12k insectoid notes

🪲 carapace-is-popping

hey ummm has anybody seen @burrowing-for-goodies recently? hes not responding to dms. im going to go look for him

🍃 random-bugg

op is your friend ok? what happened?

🪲 carapace-is-popping

hopital

4,506 insectoid notes

🔴 girluterus

what was that

10,041 notes

🔮 the-wizard-hatter

she fireball on my small enclosed space til i TPK

9,156 notes

💀 longdeadking

do you guys think post simulators have gone too far

1 note

[cherrythepuppet]

Cinnamon Jinx

⬛⬛⬛ is the daughter of ⬛⬛⬛ who was shot and killed by a police officer after he robbed a small store, ⬛⬛⬛ afterward was placed into an orphanage

There was when she gained the name "Jinx" from the other kids who were laughing at her whenever something bad happened around her due to her being somewhat accident-prone

At the age of 7, She ran away from the orphanage and wandered the streets until she came across a bar. Nowhere else to go and rain beginning to fall, She went inside staying in the corner hoping to be left alone

But the Bartender noticed her and noticed how she was shaking every time the sound of thunder was heard, the Bartender offered her a place to stay for the night

Although she was hesitant, She accepted the offer but when the Bartender asked for her name she only shrugged to which a person chimed in saying she looked like a human version of the spice "Cinnamon"

Now with a name she could tolerate, She kept it and forgot her old one. And after that one night of staying at the bar, she would come to visit whenever she could

She learned the Bartender's name, Dante, who saved up a few coins to be able to officially adopt Cinnamon and the two now worked together at the Bar

a few years later, Dante met a lady named Gabriela who Cinnamon thought was a sweet person and she liked her along with her son, Sora

Even after everything that happened afterward, Cinnamon would tell Sora about her troubles and he was the first one to know about her transition

Cinnamon who goes by "Cin" and "He/Him" now soon tells Dante and for the first time calls him "Dad"

[oxxmousexxo]

🦋🐛

Im so happy :>, I just got roses and now I'm drying them out to make them dead :3. I might walk around later today tho to get more!!

[welcomehomeagereaskblog]

🌈About Blog🏠

[Party Coffin (Clown) is the creator/owner of the Welcome Home ARG, not me! this is just a sfw agere rp fan blog!] 🏠Characters that are open to ask at the moment are: Howdy, Frank, Poppy and Wally! will update as time goes on! 🎨Emojis that will indicate who is who! 🍎-Wally 🐓-Poppy 🐛-Howdy 🦋-Frank

(right now there isn't a lot for me to add here so it will be updated as time goes on!) -------------------------------------- About the person running the account! Name is Pluto! Pronouns: he/him minor age regressor but okay with babysitting agere friends! -------------------------------------------------- ☎️ if () is used to talk out of character then its not so serious, if [] is used to talk out of character it is more important to read! example [] would be about delayed posts, asks closed, such like that. While () would be about more minor things like will finish answering tomorrow and such! 💌 so sorry if it takes me awhile to get to your ask! my notifications don't work and i am busy more often than intended, please know that i will get to your ask sooner or later! 📚 if you are a more common anon you can go ahead and ask to be a certain anon! 𔓘Now taking stimboard requests! Anon List: Flying Anon

[lexijaynex]

🐛DAY 1 (9/4/23)🦋

So I went ahead, got out of my head, got out of the bed, and got online. I was a little late, closer to midnight, but I did the first $100! I sat for about 30 minutes until something happened and I ended up with two new customers in private chat! I price my private chat higher than my exclusive so it was a good, fun, double show! They liked it, and I got some good footage too!

I noticed I’m on the brink of starting my cycle, I really need to change my diet because I feel like my cycle is taking a lot out of me, so today I’m going to eat healthy and workout for at least 15 minutes before I get back online. I’m just taking on one good habit, a day at a time. I have my goals, but I’m just doing them day by day.

Now, $100/day is a good bare minimum, and I definitely recommend that at the very least when you cam shoot for $100. I set my daily (7days/wk) cam goal to $186-$256; weekly goal $1200-$1750. If I’m camming less than 7 days my goals will be higher, but since I’m looking at setting a weekly goal, versus just a daily goal (because some days are better than others) I figure if I set a weekly goal, it’ll put me more at ease when I have those slower days. Also, when camming more days, I tend to not have to be online as long, I really don’t care to cam past 5-6 hours. I can do 8, but I don’t particularly care to do that on a daily basis.

I feel happy I waited because when I tell you I have ZERO patience, like if nothing is happening in the first 15-30mins I’m usually out, but I’m trying my best to just sit and wait on it, and I’m glad I did!

{{ I’m not completely done for day 1, I have more of my goal to make, so either another $86-$156, and I’ll work on it throughout today before I get to the day 2 shift which will be later on tonight.}}

I figured I’m just going to take a snapshot and share with y’all my time online and how long it takes to make just $100 some days, or how much I make in the span of 1hr 30mins to 2hrs! The money and times will vary but just know I’m getting online and I’m trying my best! Thanks for reading!

[darkestrellar]

[to: ❄️🤍]: uuuuuuuugh

[to: ❄️🤍]: when am I not bored -_-

Now there's an extended pause between these and the next messages... typing, typing, typing; the indicator occasionally vanishes only to appear again a second later and continue. A couple minutes pass like that. (Svern is making a show of this.)

[to: ❄️🤍]: Naturally. Who do you take me for?

[to: ❄️🤍]: Firstly: I love ALL bugs and creepy crawlies. 🪲🐞🐛📯🦋🪳🪲🦟🦗🐝🪱🕷️

[to: ❄️🤍]: hold on who's this guy. 📯 what's he doing in mt house

[to: ❄️🤍]: Secondly: I love youuuu 🤍

[to: ❄️🤍]: So OF COURSE I would love a blanc worm.... in fact now I want a blanc worm. Do you know where I can find one

[to: ❄️🤍]: I wanna hold him 👉👈

Guess that went well! He snickers as he types again.

[to: 🐛💜] thought you might so glad to hear it :)

[to: 🐛💜] though I feel the need to ask if you're feeling bored over there

Funny, the way he returns to Black City but seems so apparently unenthusiastic if he's thinking about life as a worm.

[to: 🐛💜] curious also, what about me

[to: 🐛💜] would you love me if I was a worm lol

[mtnkat3]

9.27am. Good morning my loves.....!!!!! Oh you handsome, sexy, hunky, yummy, delicious, delectable, trees, Mavericks, Beasts ..... Bears..... Angels!!!!! So precious to me!

It's a beautiful day, maybe a bit overcast outside, but when you wake me..... I wake with a smile & just wanna curl back into you.....

I gotta hard days night...

to get to you.....

Giggling softly.

Yeah, grin.

I'm happy beyond belief..

because I am loved. And I love exuberantly!

Roll with me my loves.....

I wanna look up into your eyes & grin.....

& wiggle.

& lick my lips.

Dreamy sigh.

But right now... I gotta take my meds & get to work.

Things are moving, I'm sore from working. Amazing my calf muscles are tight from filing & lifting crates. Guess I got outta shape after my surgery. 😳🙄🤔🥴🤭🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

So now I know...the adage is true...don't out off what you can do today. Procrastination always bites me in the butt. Filing, cleaning, dealing with well...I'm not sure where that should go. Make a decision, pull the trigger. Give it a home. You might change your mind later & that's fine, but letting things pile up isn't.

I've pulled the trigger a lot on things that needed to be taken care of. Even purchases to be made. I hate spending. But I'm trying to carefully buy for the future. I'm not a throw away kinda woman.

Really need to teach Americans about bidet toilet features & stop using paper!

And disposable items!

Geeish louise!

That's a rant for another time.

Time to work so I can reach my goals & live my life!

With my loves.....my soul's mates..... perfect for & to me!

OMG how I wanna kiss you!!!!!

Are you gonna kiss me.....

I love you.....SSSSSOOOOOO much!!!!!

I am always Blessedly Yours!!!!!

~Tijgeress kat Phoenix.🌺✝️☸⚓⛓🌂🔗🙏🤲👣🐾🦉🐯🐢🐐🐛���🌱🌳🌹🌻🌷🌳🧶🧵🌟⚡🌠🗝🔱⚜💝🐺🦌🐻🧩♠️♾🧭🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯💫❄🧰⚒👩‍🏫🕵️‍♀️👩‍🔬👷‍♀️🏋️‍♀️🧗‍♀️🤺🧘‍♀️👩‍🎓🔥😚🤭😌💓💋

Fr.5.12.2023 9.57am.est. gifs 10.03am.🙄🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

[sophiesworldofgames]

SofisWorld Island Journal #17

Today we bothered Blathers. A lot. 🦉

Did you miss me? You can watch today's episode on my YouTube! Or join my next Twitch stream on Friday from 10:00-12:00 EET. See my pinned post for links!

Poor Blathers, sometimes knowledge is a curse.

I feel so bad every time I give him bugs... 🐛

But how can I not when they are so pretty! 🦋

Other than donating to the museum, today was pretty chill. Our flower breeding program has finally born fruit with our first peach/orange rose!

I immediately transplanted it with some white roses so hopefully we will get some recessive reds and purples. 🤞

Coco seems to be appreciating the flower gardens as well.

In other news! 📰 Mabel and Sable are going to open their shop!

I decided to place them beside the museum for now. I'm not so sure if I want to keep the shops in line with the front of the plaza... maybe I can do some terraforming later to see if that makes it look better. ⛰

All of the flying for our new job at HHP is earning us some perks with our favorite flying birds over at DAL! I think the blue feather from Festivale ended up being a really cute addition to this outfit. 💙

Whew! Somehow there is always more work to do than time to do it. I think next week I need to switch out the ice block fences for something more multi-seasonal... and then there are March bugs and fish to catch.

But those are tasks for next week's Sophie! This week's Sophie is going to visit some islands with Dodo Codes or Dream Addresses tomorrow. Please come join us and show off your island!

<3 Sophie

[fiftyscenes]

Quarantine Survey 😷👽💌🐛🦋

Tagged by the beautiful @perseusandmedusa ♥️♥️ thank you 😊

Where are you isolated (country or city if you like)? Corsicana, Texas / a small town, like an hour away from Dallas

What are you currently reading or watching ? I never watched the show only the first episode but I know enough so I read game of thrones fanfiction and that’s what I’m currently reading now and watching leverage. Though I’m thinking about watching Pretty Woman or Mallrats later. Idk why.

If you can go outside, what do you like to do during this time? At this time I would be at work but if not that then I would be doing exactly what I’m doing lol

Any fascinating concept you’re studying ? Nope.

What kind of acts of creativity/forms of art are you currently doing? Nothing. I paint sometimes tho??

A song/s that resonates with your state of mind at the moment ? Haha Hotel California by The Eagles kind of resonates right now ‘you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave!’

Favorite impulse/‘bad’ coping techniques? I’ve been spending a lot of time reading and eating chocolate and cookies lately. That’s bad right?

Favorite healthy/‘good’ coping techniques? Dude I don’t know haha everything I do is probably bad... soooo yeah this was a trick question lol

Tagging the peoples of tumblr 🤓

Quarantine Survey 😷👽💌🐛🦋

Tagged by @faerytaledvwn thank you ! ♥

Where are you isolated? (Country or city too if you like) Normandy - France.

What are you currently reading or watching? Last season of Game of Thrones, actually ! I have to catch up on The Walking Dead at some point…also new season of La Casa de Papel tomorrow ♥

If you can go outside, what do you like to do during this time? Take a walk through the city/beach.

Any fascinating concept you’re studying? Nope.

What kinds of acts of creativity/forms of art are you currently doing? Still working -> Devilicious Couture

A song/s that resonates with your state of mind at the moment? I have had “God & Country” by FGFC820 stuck in my head for weeks now..

Favourite impulsive/’bad’ coping techniques? Treating myself? 

Favourite healthy/’good’ coping techniques? Also treating myself? Tagging: @purgatorybridge @terrorfoster @fiftyscenes @drum-cu-naluci

[mtnkat3]

4.48pm. Whew! Mom needed some dm2 advice & just wanted to talk with me.

Slow blushing grin... you rolled in my loves.....? Tilting my head.

Cause it's an option I'm looking at. But...$$$. Think just need to go to places midday & see, maybe talk to a couple of residents too. Is six a good number..🤔🧐🕵️‍♀️ not sure. But think looking at oldest first. Most northern. Had lake..but. worst reviews. Age. But of course best prices. Sigh. This is the most nerve wracking part for me.

💡reminder from counseling. Not gonna stay there forever. It's a short term solution/step for me anyways. I had never planned for more than a year. Because I gotta build my dreams... And you . . . . .whimpering softly. Those dreams need to be gone over & planned on. No longer just in my head. Which, I'm like 10 years later than I wanted to be. Sigh. God's Plan, Time & Will. At this point... I don't care what or where or if we do decide on homes. Because.. you . . . . .are my homes.....the roof is the shelter of your love..... nothing else matters to me anymore. 💡🥰🗝💓That's my focus. But first, shortterm goal focus.

Get. My. Butt. Moved. Out. Of. This. Place. NOW.

Now.

It. Is. Time.

Now. Eat as go back to my plans, questions to write down, info for each, etc. And... car, & container.

Damnit I want this done yesterday & it's my own dang fault!!! Argh!!!

Breathe. Calm. Focus. Relax. Repeat.

Work.

I love & adore you!!!!!

You . . . . .are worth everything to me!!!!!

Blushing beet red bowing head.

Yours . . . . .

Always.

~Tijgeress kat Phoenix. ✝️☸⚓🌂🔗🙇‍♀️🙏🤲👣🐾⛓🧰📋📆👩‍🏫🕵️‍♀️👷‍♀️🥾🧤⚒🛠⚙⚖🔐🏔🏗🧱🗽🏰🛡⚔🐯🦉🐐🐢🐛🦋🌱🌺🌳🌹🌻🌷🌳🌲🧶🧵🧣🎓⌚🌟⚡🌠🚀🗝🔱⚜💝🐻🦌🧩♠️♾💫🧭🕯🥰💓💋

Th.1.19.2023 5.10pm.est. gifs .21p.

[mtnkat3]

9.19am.

Good morning my loves..... my beloved Bears . Angels . . . . .

I hope you . . . . . well.. got some rest & enjoyed our dreams.....

I felt better after I took shower at 12.40am. But the adversary & melancholy. Sigh. Well.. I fought it.. thought of you . . . . .huge pools & showers.....& kitchen islands..... & well..... are you.....sure that my thoughts & fantasies aren't just as ...naughty? Hm? 🤔😘😏😌

Well.. I slept.

Until 5am. Then.. all hell broke loose. Now I feel... like a shit sandwich.

I woke because I decided to keep 5am alarm. Ahem. For ..... blushing shyly.

Then had to go to potty.

Well.. back to at least rest... psych!

Cgm started blaring a few minutes later. 65 is preset to avoid beta response & precipitous results of dropping to 55. Well. Butterscotch, peppermint hard candies.. nooe. Didn't work. So I had to sit up with flashlight & eat emergency tube of mini m&m's &... a ¼ of king size milky way. [Didn't wanna go to kitchen for york minis bag.] So. I actually relaxed when stabilized for a few minutes. Fell back to sleep. And smiled when I heard you . . . . .& moaned. Then when 8.30am alarm hit I said fuck & started waking back up. Only to have my guts gurgling & need to run for ibs. Sigh. I swear.

Some beach!

Haven't even gotten my armor med yet because I think I drank all my water!

Just flippin argh!

.

So.

Then I felt like shit.. like the universe decided to start pushing me even harder today when.. well.. drooping tail. Hurt.

But.

Then I saw... you . . . . . each piece is very much aware aren't ya.. of me.

But I'm kept from anything but very limited... connections.

Flippin hurts!

Why the fuckin hell do I have to be so chained.. bound.. blinded...

Bowed in pain.

Because it's the only way to be motivated to move my butt & grow.

Dang human nature.

T. Spine snap.

Yeah. I'm not someone who has an easy road to life. To self enlightenment. Sometimes God whispers to my soul. Sometimes He uses His stern Father voice. But He always waits for me to hear Him.

I hear Father.

Thank You Father. Jesus. Spirit.

For loving me, Creating me, Guiding me, Teaching me.

Even when I feel beaten, smacked across the face & gut punched.

I might be covered in scars...

I might have a soul so battered that sometimes I wonder how I don't collapse.

I might .. grimace.. woebegone whoa me. Ugh.

But.

God snaps my spine straight.

Because I am borne to be.

Tijgeress kat Phoenix.

& Yours . . . . .

And this morning...

You . . . . .have told me. You love me. As I am. Even when I drive you crazy. But your gonna push me. Test me. Guide me. Because that's what God wants you . . . . . to do.

So please... do so .

Humbly whimpering chewing lips

But know the marshmallow soul too.

Sometimes... these ..tests. They cause me great pain. And I struggle under the weight if it all.

Bowed blushing beet red.

I love you . . . . .

I will never give up nor stop.

I vowed so long ago.

No changes. No take backs. No alterations.

I am.

Yours . . . . .

~Tijgeress kat Phoenix.

✝️☸⚓🙇‍♀️🙏🤲👣🐾🌂🔗⛓🧰⚙👩‍🏫🕵️‍♀️👷‍♀️🥾🏔🐯🦉🐐🐢🐛🦋🌱🌺🌳🌹🌻🌷🌳🌲🧶🧵🗽🦅🕊🏰⌚⚡🌟🌠🗝🔱⚜💝🐻🦌🧩♠️♾🎯💫🧭🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯

W.1.11.2023 10.21am est.

[mtnkat3]

7.57pm

DOne, DPOne & Alll... my Love/s. I never said I'd be easy to love. But I dang sure will be essential! Yes, I struggle. Until I am free of the fatsuit God protected me with, I will continue to be. And yes, my Love/s... I am Your vixen... and the moment I get to see Your/Alll's eyes growling "Mine" to me... will be the day my life begins. Because the Celine song... its tooo much like giving up right now. And I will never give up on You DOne. Nor on DPOne or Alll. I will do what You Alll show me each of You Alll want me to do. I am listening & observing DOne. I just didn't see Your beard, nor physique anywhere. [Mostly large family groups of foreigners. Yes, more trees please! I probably have encountered more rude than nice... but I keep trying!] Grant you bright sunlight is blinding to me. So as I go thru the pics again I'm seeing more details. I also believe that You all are probably having some fun, which makes me smile. I only want to be with You. Bowed. I want to meet everyone You Alll care about. They are all important to each of You/Alll, so they are important to me. Yes, words matter. I want to be honest & open & raw with You Alll though. It is important. Especially in our type of dynamic. And everything we each have been thru. Both together & individually. We alll have struggles, but I for one think that when we deal with them together we are stronger. Why I am hurt & confused, sad & scared by each of You Alll being silent. Especially now. When I am free. And I am here DOne! And I come to find You DPOne after I check out tomorrow. It's nearly 500 miles so I'm expecting either 11pm arriving or later. I just knew I had a finite timeframe here. Vacation vs residence. I just want... Alll together??? It does puzzle me. But I know I'll get no answers until I am face to face with You/Alll. Just... DOne... I love You. I will not give up. Ever. I really am trying... striving... working... to understand why .... this... the tests. I know it's to prove myself. I get that part. But what am I amiss on? Is there a change within the dynamic that I'm unaware of? I have grasped the friendship part. But know that I have very few. And its different for me. I have been... southern upbringing restrained. Genteel even? Very careful with interactions. Best way I can think to describe it. I'm really pushing myself to say hello to people here, & not be discouraged by being shot down by rudeness. I don't know what else to do DOne. Alll those rooms are dark. And I am not here to watch tv. I haven't cut it on at all. Barely eating & sleeping because I care more about You & getting this right than I do about such things! Welll...t...stop your ramblings girl.

Essentially...

I love You DOne.

I love You DPOne & Alll tooo.

I am putting Alll of myself into this because I love You/Alll & You/Alll are everything to me.

Show me. Lead me. Guide me. Teach me. Mold me.

I love You/Alll like crazy. 🎶

Whimpering softly... my Love/s...

Bowed. Into a ball.

Your's/s'.

🔱💖🐻💓🦌💝⚜♠️🗝🧩♾⚓🙏🙇‍♀️🦉🐢🐛🦋🌱🌺🌻🌹🌷🌳🧶🧵🔆🌠⚡🌂🔗☔🌎🎯🧭🕯💡🛰☎️🔥♨️🚀🎶💋

Fr.8.12.2022 9.00pm