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kaiandels · 1 year ago

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Two Hearts pt.2: Ellie Williams X Reader

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part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5 - part 6

‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿

warnings: crisis abt 🏳️‍🌈, a bit of angst (but Dina is there to make you feel better 🤎), religious tr4uma, mild swearing , y/n having a very long dialogue, and NO INTIMACY displayed yet. YET! okay?

PROOFREAD! (for the first time in forever~)

p.s: this is going to be a tad bit emotional. i mean, “denial” is obviously caused by a root of bottled-emotions right? and thank you for liking pt. 1 🥹 and i’m very sorry if Ellie isn’t really present in this part, this is supposed to be about the reader and the reader only. But she’ll appear in the next part I promise!

After the wonderful moment that you shared with Ellie, you found yourself trapped in a void that constantly held you down. You couldn’t tell anyone, there is some sort of chain that you felt around your throat that makes it so hard to speak. It’s almost as if you’re choking on the air that was supposed to keep you alive. And what makes it harder is that Ellie already left, your source of calmness. Not even because it’s getting late, it’s because her date messaged her that “she wants to give it another try”. But it’s no one’s fault really. If anything, you felt as if it was your fault because you couldn’t admit to yourself that Ellie was the one you really loved. But you shut down that feeling everytime, because you always thought that it was wrong.

Your shaky breaths led you to feel panic, you wanted to call Ellie. But you knew that you can’t because she genuinely wanted to fix the relationship between her and her date because according to her, it was going pretty well until she “Fucked Up” by mentioning you too much. You understood that. So well, even. But why did that feel like you just got punched on the chest? You shook your head and let your mind calm down even just for a second which led you to message your beloved friend, Dina. God knows that you need her right now.

You finally burst out in laughter. Talking with Dina always felt so bittersweet, she always made situations much more lightweight for you even just temporarily. And you will always forever be grateful for her. You always thought that Jesse was such a lucky man. They were a perfect pair. And secretly, Jesse and Dina were rooting for you and Ellie. They have always envisioned double dates with you and Ellie or even when in the future, when you both have families… they imagined the get-together’s on Christmas, Newyear’s, Halloween, or any holiday for that matter. And they were frustrated, and even upset just by the thought of knowing that you both were struggling to admit to yourselves that you both loved eachother in no other way that a man or woman could ever do.

“Sweetie?” you heard Dina’s soothing voice knocking on your door. Swiftly standing up as you opened the door jumping in to her arms sobbing. “Aw… poor baby. Okay, okay, okay.. let’s get over to the couch okay? Sit down and i’ll open some wine and a huggeee tub of icecream for us. Alright?” you nodded and smiled as you felt Dina’s soft fingers wipe your tears away. You both went to the living room as Dina assisted you to sit down. You told her it was fine, and there was really no reason for her to “baby” you like this. “Nuh-uh, today is about you. And besides, I get to hear about the stupid things Ellie said… or done.” You laughed as Dina brought 2 glasses of wine and the tub of icecream.

“So, what happened with Ellie?” Dina asked giving you a spare spoon while opening the tub of icecream, revealing your favorite flavor. “Dina, thank you so much. That’s my favorite!”. You said smiling at her as you scooped a spoon-full for yourself. “No problem. You know what they say, Icecream does help a lot with negative emotions.” You smirked in agreement and took a bite, moaning at the pleasant taste on your mouth. “So? what happened?” You sighed folding your lips in to a thin line and finally ranting your life away.

“It’s not what Ellie did. It’s what she made me feel. I’m so confused Dina, so fucking confused. I’m constantly trying to push my feelings away for women because I have no guts to face it and admit it to myself. I don’t want to do it anymore. Trust me, I really fucking don’t. But it’s just so hard. I’ve been raised in a household where everything from my childhood changed, I couldn’t buy toys that involved cars because they were too “boyish” or I couldn’t wear what I used to wear because I “looked like a man”. And the people… God, the fucking people. They always tell me that it’s wrong, that it’s against God’s words but proceeds to do much worse things. It’s like they’re only religious when they see something they hate. And the expectations thrown at me that I should be able to marry a man, have 3 children, and live in a white house with plants and flowers with wooden floors near a beach in California. I know it sounds perfect, I know it sounds ideal… But what if I don’t want to live that life with a man? Or live that life at all? What if I want to live that life with a woman? What if I don’t want to live in California near a beach? What if I want to live in a farm, peaceful enough but not far from civilization. What if I don’t want children? What if I don’t like them at all because they are annoying and loud and hinders me from actually living up to the life that I want. Not what they want. I fucking want! Like, seriously? 3 children? Do they think i’m made of metal or something? I know that this sounds ridiculous because I have Xavier, and my parents like him a lot. And I WAS happy with him. But he’s a cheater and a liar… And i’m more happy with-“

“Ellie. You’re more happy with Ellie.” Dina smiled bitterly as she moved her hands from her lap to your face, caressing your soft skin slowly. “Look, you don’t have to feel obligated to fulfill your parents frustrations. It is not your duty and will never be. You don’t have to listen to them especially if it’s not what you want for yourself.” Dina added, studying your face as you seemed so vulnerable. “I know, thank you.” You forced a smile, trying to contain any tears that were threatening to fall from your face. “How does she do it?” you asked. “Do what?” Dina asked tilting her head to the side. “Love women? Without giving a care about what people might say or throw at her?” Dina laughed softly hitting your arm. “Hey! what was that for?” You giggled, taken aback by Dina’s sudden happiness. “It’s just… It’s fuckin’ Ellie. Alright? She doesn’t give a flying fuck. Even back then? Nuh-uh Sis, you’re not getting a reaction from her. And besides, last time I checked, she doesn’t believe in God. But if you’re seriously asking, I don’t know either.” Dina shrugged and laughed at her own ramble.

You grabbed Dina’s hands and intertwined them with yours. “I’m having a really hard time, Dina.” Dina looked at her hands and looked back at you. “I know, Sweetie”. She paused for a moment to think then added to her sentence. “I personally think that you should talk to Ellie about this to clear your mind. She’s the gayest of our group, everything you’re going through right now? She has probably gone through already. But, about Xavier? Honestly he’s no good and i’m not trying to throw you shade but I think you’re just with him ‘cause it pleases your parents.” Dina said tightening her grip on your hand and rolling her eyes from the thought. “I mean, you’re not lying…” You said laughing as you caressed her hand softly.

“But seriously… You really should go talk to her. But if you don’t want to, that’s fine either. You’ll figure it out, Sweetie. Baby steps, alright?” Dina said flashing you her most beautiful smile that have always made you melt in all the right ways.

“I will talk to her.”

you didn’t

(yes the wallpaper is the reader and Ellie)

special tag: @gold-dustwomxn 🫶🏻

#ellie tlou #ellie williams #dina tlou #ellie x fem reader #ellie x reader #ellie x y/n #the last of us #dina woodward #female reader #lesbian #lgbt #wlw #tlou part 2 #tlou2 #tlou fanfiction #tlou fic #tlou x reader

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