#🍋’s rants

[tangylemonade]

I’ve been trying to stay normal at work

Source

[tangylemonade]

I reread my things when I have writers block. It makes me feel better knowing that I wrote something I’m proud of and I feel like I can do it again. It can be very comforting and empowering. Sometimes it even lets you see how much you’ve grown, how much better you’ve gotten, and you notice the ways in which you’ve changed as a writer. Never apologize for self appreciation, we all can use a little more of that.

give yourself the gift of reading your own fic. it was literally written just for you.

[mytheoristavenue]

Can you maybe do one of one piece men hearing their shy s/o yell at them for the first time? Or first time their shy s/o acts bratty ? Can be fluff , agnst or NSFW, whatever you'd like my love. I'm sure it'll turn out good , I loved your other ones that you've written!! ❤️❤️ BTW that sanji speaking French got my good 😫😫🤌 *chefs kiss*

I'll do all three! I hope it's alright that I only do Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, and Usopp for this one! Since I'm going to do three separate scenarios for each, it would be a lot of work to do that for as many characters as I included in my last post! If I missed anyone you specifically wanted, let me know!

Straw Hat Men + Shy!S/O Yelling for the First Time 🍋

Summary: How your Straw Hat boyfriend reacts to hearing you raise your voice for the first time in an angsty, fluffy, and NSFW scenario.

Waring: NSFW, MDNI, fluff, angst, fem!reader

Note: I did mark this one with a lemon as I usually do with NSFW content, but only 1/3rd of it will be! The different scenarios will be marked with a '💕💔🍋', for fluff, angst, and smut respectively. If you've seen any of my masterlists, they also operate under this same key.

Monkey D. Luffy:

💕 Your least favorite part of being a pirate was the fact that your boyfriend was your captain. If you could leave and join a different crew without it being a relationship ending action, you would most certainly consider it. It wasn't always bad of course, but with it was bad- it was awful.

As your lover, Luffy was stubborn, but as your captain it was ten fold. once he settled on a bad idea, there was no changing his mind, no matter how much your opinion as his partner mattered to him. Typically, it was something you could look pasted, but you had to admit, his last bright idea had left you bitter with him, and the way he hounded you for answers as you why you were ignoring him was doing him no favors.

"Awe, c'mon, babe!" he giggled, wrapping his elastic arms around your waist, pulling you back to him after you'd walked away from him. "I'm sorry you got all wet!" he offered, only receiving a sharp glare form over your shoulder.

Earlier that day, he had decided that everyone would go into the town to do some shopping on the island you'd ported on. You picked out a lovely floral sundress, and worn it out of the store after buying it, excited to show him how pretty it looked on you. To your surprise, and later anger, he enthusiastically scooped you up and tried to swing you along with him back to the Sunny, only to miss. Not only did you both collide with the ship's hull, but you also fell into the water, making his survival your responsibility.

"Luffy, that dress was very expensive. I rarely buy myself nice things, and the one time I did, I didn't even have it for ten minutes before you ruined it." you pouted quietly, still unwillingly wrapped in his arms.

"I'm sure it's not ruined, babe, we can wash it." he dismissed, making your blood boil. You couldn't contain your frustration at him.

"No, we can't!" you snapped, pushing him away to glare at him with hands on hips. "It's silk, you can't just toss it in the washing machine! I has to be professionally cleaned, and you just had us set sail away from the only place I could take it to! Who knows how long it'll take us to find another island with a dry cleaners', and even if we found one tomorrow, it wouldn't matter! The stain is already set!"

Luffy simply blinked at your ranting. He didn't understand any of what you'd just said. He wasn't even entirely sure what silk was or why it was so different from regular fabric, but he could recognize that he'd upset you, which he felt bad for. "Awe...I'm sorry babe." he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck shamefully.

"You should be!" you huffed, crossing your arms and turning your back on him.

"Tell you what," he smiled, wrapping his arms around you again, this time laying his head on your shoulder. "Next time we port, we'll go out- just you and me and I'll take you shopping again. I'll have Nami set some of my money aside and it'll me my treat. And I'll see if Franky can build something that can wash silk." he negotiated, melting the tough coating around your heart. "We'll get you all the expensive clothes you want, and that way, you'll be able to to clean them if you need to."

"Luffy..." you swooned, turning in his arms to face him. "You promise?" He nodded with a ear to ear grin, and you threw yourself into his embrace. "Oh, I can't stay mad at you, you're too sweet!"

💔 The second time Luffy heard you raise you voice at him, it was a gut wrenching scream, accompanied by tears. The part that disturbed him most, however, was the fact that it wasn't really at him, but more for him.

"Stop it!" your voice rang out across a smoking battlefield, crack and desperate. "Please, stop, you'll kill him!" You were yards away, but you could still see the light leaving your boyfriend's eyes as he laid motionless on the ground from where you were being subdued.

The marines had ambushed the crew while at an island you'd stopped at for supplies. Kizaru stood over him, glancing over at you when he'd heard, his signature smug grin unfaltering as he made his way over to you. "That's the point, dollface."he cooed. "Dead or alive, or so the saying goes."

"P-Please," you negotiated. "Please, you can have me instead. I-I'm worth something right?" You struggled to remember your current bounty.

"You want me to give up one of the most wanted men on the seas," he chuckled, looming over you. "For a measly ten million berries?Honey," he smirked, eyes darting to Luffy, still unmoving, and back to you. "The only thing that makes you worth anything is your value to him. Now that we've got Straw Hat, we don't have a use for you."

"That's...not true..." a broken and tired voice graveled from where he once lay. Your hopefully eyes snapped to your partner as he slowly rose to face the admiral in your stead.

"Luffy!" you shrieked, relieved tears streaming down your cheeks.

"Still kickin', huh?" Kizaru laughed, turning his attention back.

"That's not true, (Y/N)." your captain continued, entirely ignoring his enemy, yet still walking towards him and not you. "You're worth so much more than being my girlfriend. You're a Straw Hat, and that means so much more!"

🍋 Luffy had never known you to be the most verbal person when it came to physical pleasures, and the silent sighs and tiny gasps became a common song that he learned to enjoy above all others. that was until he heard what you were really capable of.

"Oh, fuck, Luffy!" you cried, tossing your head back in eustasy. He froze entirely for a moment, gazing up at you in awe as you rode him, bouncing with delight, and cursing his name like the sailor you were. You were so entranced that you failed out notice his lack of participation as he watched you put in all the work he normally would.

Hearing those loud, dirty words tumble over your lips did something to him- snapped some sort of line that tethered him to his control. "(Y/N), baby?" he spoke lowly, breaking you of your spell. You immediately began apologizing, bringing your hands to cover your blushing face, only to be caught by the wrists. "What have you never moaned for me like that before?"

"I-I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me!" you sputtered, humiliated by your lewd behaviors.

"Well," he decided, guiding your trembling hands to his hair, before winding his rubber arms around your waist and clenching your doughy thighs as hard as he could without doing actual damage. "We're gonna fuckin' find out!"

Roronoa Zoro:

💕 You had been ignoring Zoro all day long and it was starting to drive him crazy, though he wasn't going to let you on to that fact. He eyed from from across the deck as you chatted with Nami about something he didn't care about. Anytime you would catch him looking at you, you'd huff, turn your nose at him, and make it a point to very sweetly ask Sanji for something. Every time, the doting chef would give into your every whim, bringing you parfaits, making you something special for lunch, or even a fancy glass of water with cucumber and mint. Finally, your boyfriend decided he'd had enough.

"Why are you acting like such a brat today?" he grilled sternly, looming over your lounge chair as you tanned. "You better not be trying to make me jealous of that damn cook."

You gasped dramatically, sharing a shocked looked with Nami, before you both rolled your eyes at him. "You've got some nerve calling me a brat." you spat back at him, turning your attention back to your magazine.

"Well, you're acting like one!" Zoro protested.

"Yeah, well," you huffed. "At least Sanji's nice to me and gives me attention when I want it!" Nami silently agreed with you, nodding her head as you spoke.

"Oh my God," your boyfriend groaned, rolling his eyes and slumping his shoulders. "Is that what this is about? Damn, you're so annoying."

You scowled at him, throwing your magazine onto the floor in a fit. "No, Zoro, you know what's annoying? Trying to spend time with your boyfriend, only to get passed up for lifting stupid weights!" you shouted, collecting the attention of many of your nakamas, which embarrassed him quite a bit. "All you do is work out or clean your damn swords! I wake up, and you're not in bed because your training, I go to bed and- same thing!"

"Oh, I'm so sorry I have to train to keep you protected you highness!" he snarled back at you. "It's not like I've saved your life or anything."

"Oh, thank you for not letting me die! Boyfriend of the damn year!"

"Jesus Christ," he growled, finally giving in under all the stares of his crewmates. "I'll skip work out tonight and we can cuddle all night, okay?"

"Okie dokie!" you beamed, demeanor immediately shifting back to the kind, sweet girl everyone knew you as. Zoro sighed, exhausted by your manipulation tactics; he needed a nap.

💔 Zoro's body froze solid, hearing you're voice from a location he couldn't pinpoint. His mind went into fight or flight mode as the fear and desperation in your voice struck him like a pendent in a church bell, sending vibrations all throughout him. "Zoro!"

"(Y/N)?!" he called back, spinning as he took in his surroundings. He could see so many people, but none of them were you. Where were you?

"Zoro!" Suddenly, you broke through the crowd, making a mad dash for him, leaping into his arms before he could register it. "Oh my gosh, I thought I'd lost you!" you cried into his chest. "I was so worried!"

He was still frozen, for the first time in his life unable to act. "Y-you were worried about me?" he stammered, having trouble wrapping his head around the idea.

"Yes!" you replied, nuzzling into his throat. "There's marines on the island, and when I turned around and you weren't there I thought you were in trouble!"

"If that's the case, you should have gone back to the ship." he scolded you lightly, trying to mask how much his heart melted at your concern. "Now we're both in danger."

You shook your head quickly. "No, I'm not going anywhere without you! We'll go back together!" You insisted. "What if you get lost again?"

His stern face softened into a loving smile, reflecting his feelings in the moment, before grabbing you by the hand. "Fine, let's go. You lead the way."

🍋 Zoro had never heard anything more lewd that the sounds he was extracting from you now. You were laid out in his arms, across his lap, his fingers reaching for invisible buttons inside you, making your tummy do flips. Each breath you took was ragged and punctuated a needy whine. Typically, you sang a song of soft hums, using his name as a refrain every so often, and he did adore that, but nothing could compare to the arousal he got from hearing you curse.

"Shit, Zoro, I-I-!" you were beyond the point of forming fully coherent sentences, most of them fading after a few words. His own breathing quickened as he worked you better and better by the minute.

"Yeah, baby," he groaned, his face contorting into a frustrated snarl. "Tell me all those dirty words you know."

God Usopp:

💕 "I said I'm sorry!" he squeaked, following you out of his workshop and into the bathroom. "It was an accident!" You ignored his pleas for your forgiveness as you walked up to the sink, leaning over to dip your head under the faucet. He had been showing you his newest star, when he shot it at a shelf, which in turn shook, knocking a bottle to toad oil onto your head. Your silence terrified him as he stood idly by watching you try to rinse it from your scalp. "I-If you let me take a bath with you, I'll wash it all out-" His nervous negotiations were cut short by your harsh glare.

He wrung his hands, pacing back and forth as you disrobed and slipped into the washroom, heading straight for the shower in the corner. Reluctantly, he followed you, fully clothed, unsure if he was meant to or not. "I really am sorry," he admitted, stepping up behind you as you say on the stool and poured a bucket of water over your head. "Here, let me." he insisted, thoroughly rinsing your hair before massaging product into it. You wordlessly allowed him to was the oil out of your hair, enjoying the quiet of the moment, until he ruined that too.

"A-Are you gonna break up with me?" he piped up anxiously.

"No!" you shouted with an exaggerated sigh. "I'm not going to break up with you over this, Usopp, I'm just mad!"

"Sorry," he replied, embarrassed at his silly question. "Thank you..."

"For what?" you snapped, wishing he would simply stop talking for a few minutes.

"Giving me another chance." he answered quietly. You felt your heart tear a bit at his insecurity.

"Usopp, I would never leave you over something this small." you confirmed, glancing at him over the shoulder. "I know it was just an accident, and I forgive you. I just need a few little quiet time to cool off."

He nodded, prompting you to relax as he lathered your scalp. Within minutes, you were putty in his hands, and happy as a clam again.

💔 The way his name came out of you mouth tore Usopp apart. Though you weren't together yet at this time, he still held so much undying love for you, but his pride had gotten the better of him. He ignored your sobs as he walked away from the crew, choosing a broken ship over everyone who cared for him- including you.

"Usopp, you stop right there!" you commanded, tears steaming down your face as you struggled to run after him. You'd seen him respond when Kaya did this, and you genuinely thought it would work, but obviously, given the circumstances, his love for her was much stronger than what he had claimed to have for you. "Please, come back! Usopp!"

You tumbled to the rocky shore of Water 7, having tripped over your own feet, your vision too obscured by tears to see straight. "Please!"

"C'mon, (Y/N)," Nami sniffled, pulling you to your feet only to hold you back from pursuing him further. "He's made his choice."

🍋 Usopp marveled up at you from between your thighs as you sat perched atop his face. As you rode, bucking your his against his chin, you failed to notice the escalation of your volume, but he didn't. He adored your shy, soft moans- even thought of them in his sleep but this was entirely new, and so much better.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" you chanted. "Love riding your pretty face, baby!" He melted beneath you as you writhed, crying out in ecstasy, using him the way you wanted. He watched as you raised your arms, tangling your fingers in your hair. "Wanna cum all over your face!" you sighed, entranced.

"Do it, angel." he purred, voice muffled by your heat as he ate his fill. Your eyes shot open as you realized your dirty thoughts had spilled into the open air.

"Oh my God!" you squealed, instantly pushing yourself away form his face, leaving a snail trail down his chest to where you currently sat at his pelvis. "I'm so embarrassed, I'm so sorry!"

Usopp's fingers delicately laced with yours as he pulled at your hand. "Get back up here," he cooed, guiding you back to your previous position. "Please cum all over my pretty face."

Vinsmoke Sanji:

💕 You pouted in the corner of the dining room as Sanji served dinner, setting your plate down in from of you, and delicately tying your napkin around your neck as he always did. "What's wrong, Mon amour?" he asked, softly petting your hair, only to have you turn your nose up at him. The rest of the crew looked on in curiosity as the chef continued to serve, all the while struggling to get you to give him time of day.

After the meal was finished and everyone else had left the table, you stayed to help him clean up as usual. "Mon trésor, talk to me." he insisted. Once again you ignored him, prompting him to take the dishes from your hands and set them aside, before cupping your cheek to ensure that your focus was only on him. "What's the matter?"

"Oh nothing," you scoffed. "Just wish I had a boyfriend that was only my boyfriend is all."

Sanji stared at you blankly, puzzled by your sudden aggression towards him. "I'm all yours, amour, why would you think otherwise?"

"You seem to be pretty friendly with every other girl you come across," you muttered bitterly.

"Are you jealous?" he smirked, only to find that, to you, this was no amusing matter.

"I shouldn't have to be!" you snapped, sniffling a bit. "I shouldn't have to feel like I have to compete for your attention..." He stood in front of you, lips ajar from surprise at your level of emotion on the matter. After a moment, he softened, pulling you into his chest.

"This world is full of beautiful people, male and female," he soothed as you resisted the urge to cry in front of him. "We can never simply turn off our attraction to people, but at the end of the day, you should know that you take up all the space in my heart."

"Some apology," you scoffed, trying to push his affections away.

"It's not an apology," he corrected. "Though, maybe it should be. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, amour." he cooed, petting your hair and letting you be frustrated with him. Sanji was never one to try and sort out a problem immediately. He knew emotions took time to ease through, and how unhealthy rushing that could be. "Would you like some time to yourself?" he offered, pulling away from you to look into your eyes. You shook your head lightly, before nuzzling back into his chest. "Would you give me a chance to make it up to you?" You nodded shallowly, your hair getting mussed and collecting static from his shirt.

He smiled sweetly, parting from you, and holding you at arms' length. "Tell you what," he began, glancing over to the sink full of dishes. "Give me a few minutes to clean this up, you go get in the tub and wait for me."

💔 You stood in the pouring rain, outside looking in on a private moment. Sanji, the man who'd sworn his eternal love for you was there, embracing his wife to be the day before their wedding. His face was battered and bruised as he whispered to her. "Let's get married tomorrow."

Against all your better judgement, your shattered heart forced agonized screams from your throat as you sobbed, slamming your fists on the glass. Your shoulders shook as the rain mixed with your tears as they slid down your face. Just beyond, you watched as Pudding, the woman who'd taken your place nearly jump from her skin, fearfully snuggling deeper into his embrace as she eyed you as if you'd hurt her.

Sanji however never bothered to look. He heard you, he was just choosing to ignore your cries, no matter how deeply they bothered him. He could feel his decisions effect you in the form of guilty sweat dripping down his spine. Eventually, he turned his back to you, pulling his bride away as they exited the room. He couldn't stand the pitiful sight of you any longer, lest he begin to weep himself.

🍋 Sanji stared down at you, love and passion exuding from his pores as he made love to you. He held your legs securely over his shoulders as he eased in and out of you, counting how many times your breath would hitch before you could exhale. "Me prends si bien, chérie." he purred, leaning into your ear, nearly folding you in half.

"S-Sanji..." you whimpered, face numb from the overwhelming pleasure you were under. You couldn't hold back the way your volume was increasing, no matter how humiliating. He was worth being embarrassed for.

"Oui, mon amour?"

"F-Feels so good!" you affirmed, the need to feel useful swallowing you whole. You wanted to be an active participant, not simply a toy, but the way he loved on you left you paralyzed. "Wanna make you feel good too..."

"Tu me fais me sentir divine, chérie." he soothed, letting go of a weighted breath. "Continue juste à chanter comme ça pour moi, d'accord?"

Translations:

Mon amour/amour = My love/love

Trésor = Treasure

"Me prends si bien, chérie." = "Taking me so well, darling."

"Oui, mon amour?" = "Yes, my love?"

"Tu me fais me sentir divine, chérie." = "You make me feel divine, darling."

"Continue juste à chanter comme ça pour moi, d'accord?" = "Just keep singing like that for me, okay?"

[wonjivrs]

couple things with cravity

parings: cravity x gn! reader

genre: all things fluffy <3

warnings: none

note: hi ! this is our very first headcannon for cravity. the process of writing this was fun for both of us so we hope u guys enjoy it too ! for everyone reading so far feedbacks and reblogs are appreciated :D

☆ serim

kisses during couple situps. working out together. carrying his s/o bridal style. small gifts without any occasion. random “i love you” texts. doing groceries or just lazing around the house together. spontaneous road trips. candle lights and dinner tables.

“i thought you’d like this.”

☆ allen

sharing things. bad pick up lines. comforting kisses. laying his head on the his s/o’s shoulder. flowers in returned books. giving each other nicknames. slow dancing with soft smiles. bringing you your favourite hot drink in bed. reading books on the couch, hands intertwined.

“how about something warm? it’ll help you sleep.”

☆ jungmo

kisses on the back of hands. falling asleep together on the sofa when watching a movie. finds comfort in your scent. being observant to your likes and dislikes. feeding you as you work. gently wiping your tears. always giving the utmost attention to you if in a crowd.

“you were talking about that table there being a little bare, so i got you some flowers to put in it’s space.”

☆ woobin

smiling at the mere thought of his s/o or their texts. feeding you his cooking and hoping you'll like it. ruffling the other’s hair. softly stroking your skin. barbecue parties in the garden. using absurd terms of endearment. dancing in the kitchen whilst making dinner. doing things for you just because ??

"so, how much longer do you plan on using me as your personal space heater?"

☆ wonjin

smiling in-between kisses. having the other’s head on your lap. stroking your fingers while holding hands. constant reassurance. can only fall asleep cuddled next to his s/o. hugs that last a little longer than they should. peppering soft kisses all over your face. choosing the perfect watermelon together for the first time.

“i know you’ll do perfect, okay ?”

☆ minhee

hugging the other from behind and nuzzling into their neck. napping together. pressing soft kisses onto his s/o’s shoulder. leaning against the doorframe with the sweetest smile on his face just watching his lover get ready to go out. pressing foreheads against each other.

“we’ll be less cold if we cuddle yk?”

☆ hyeongjun

sliding hands under the other’s clothes. watching your favourite show. kisses all over the face. stargazing on a winter night. adorable big eyes that widens a little when he listens to your rant keenly. cuddling together and falling asleep in each other's embrace.

“you make me feel all soft and mushy inside.”

☆ taeyoung

feather-light kisses on your knuckles. quick glances that turn into a longing, admirable gaze. fingers brushing other’s cheek. bunking lectures together. playing among us and being the imposter with their s/o and defending each other during discussions.

“your hands are so big/tiny! i love it”

☆ seongmin

washing his s/o’s hair for them. making flower crowns. subconsciously linking little fingers. silly banter. adopting a kitten together. kissing your forehead when he notices you’ve fallen asleep. sharing sweaters. bingeing an entire season of a trashy reality show in one sitting together.

“shh stop fussing. i’m just braiding your hair”

©wonjivrs 2023 | Do not copy, repost or claim any of our works. 🍓🍋

[canines-alter-creation]

may i get a level 3 tommyinnit headmate that is a moodbooster,Beauheur, Stim Holder,Socializor,Ògregulator, Optimist,Jokestar/Jester,Delight, Comforter,autism holder,adhd holder,Frijōn and Energetic Alter the rest is up to you (with the pfp having themes of kidcore,if thats posible)

Thank you in adcance for making this headmate /gen

We+ had so much fun with this one (if you couldn't tell) sorry in advance this is a pretty big pack. :p

> Name(s): Dandelion, Tommy, Toms, Mantis, Moth, Butterfly, Sunny, Flower, Solar, Birb, Byrd, Theseus, Coffee, Sparrow, Beetle, Bug, Lemon, Prince, Gold, Soda, Grape Soda

> Pronoun(s): he/him, bee, /bees/beeself, buzz/buzzes/buzzing, cit/citrus/citrusself, tang/tanga/tangerine, fan/fanta, comet/comets, cher/cherry, sun/suns/sunshine, sun/suns/sunrise, sun/suns/sunset, blood/bloods/bloodorange, mari/golds/maris/goldself, jest/jester/jesterself, star/stars/starfruit, spiral/spirals/spiralself, star/stars/starlight, lemon/lime/lemonlimeself, royal/royals/royalself ☽ sour/sours/sourcandy,  gum/gums/gummy, gold/golds/goldself, pig/pigeon/pigeonself, 🍊/🍊s/🍊self, color/colors/colorself, rain/rainbow/rainbowself, fun/funs/funself, fun/funny/funnyself, hyp/hyper/hyperself, pog/pogs/pogself, stick/sticks/stickself, funk/funky/funkyself, star/stars/starself, bub/bubble/bubbleself, spark/sparkle/sparkleself, honk/honks/honkself, scrib/scribble/scribbleself, cray/crayon/crayonself

> Age: 7-17 slides but usually in the 14 area

> Gender: cokegummygender, transmasc, sungender, citrusgender, limeoranaden, sourgummygender, orangegender, lemongender, tangerinegender, sunshinepenamic, luvehoneyic, goldengender, sunnia, solaic, sunboy, doveboy, citroaromic, masjestergender, princedecorated, starbeadcoric, stargrapegender, starlemongender, aurapastecoric, partygender, rainbowtoxicgender, clownbeing, cringeXDcoric, funhoardic xenogender

> Sexuality: bisexual, but not very interested in dating due to agesliding and feeling young

> Role: moodbooster, Beauheur, Stim Holder, Socializor, Ògregulator, Optimist, Jokestar/Jester, Delight, Comforter, autism holder, adhd holder, Frijōn and Energetic Alter

> Source: Tommyinnit

> Faceclaims:

> Sign-offs: 👑, 🖍️, 🦝, ♥️, ���, 🤍, 🍊, 🍋

> Song theme:

> Front triggers(pos/neg/neu):

Star has almost exclusively positive front triggers, coming into front when someone needs comforted or cheered up. Cray is friendly and silly, always available with a joke and comfort. He is front triggered by silly things, fun things, cute things, cute animals, and also the body needing to regress, be cheered up. Sun loves sourcemates. 

Biggest negative trigger is being called annoying

> Likes/dislikes:

+ Having fun, fruit, going outside, the sunshine, making friends, being around sourcemates, play fighting, bothering people. 

- being bored, being lonely, being reminded of negative things that happened in source, being abandoned, being called annoying.

> Personality: Very fun and friendly and outgoing, loves to meet new people, loves to talk. Citrus never seems to run out of energy and always has something going on. This is a Tommy that nothing bad ever happened to, and it’s so clear in the way that he is always excited to see everyone. Can be a bit overwhelming because of how loud it is, but its loving and affectionate and the kindest person you’ve probably ever met. 

> Ways they do their role: By just being the silliest guy you’ve ever laid your eyes on. Tries to put on shows and jokes, tries really hard to be funny and likable and for the most part succeeds. It’s hard to dislike him, it’s hard to be mad at sun. Stims a lot, dances a lot, sometimes develops new stims just by being in front. Holds a lot of autistic special interests and will go on long rants about their special interest of the time. 

> Inner world occupation or behavior: He’s always sticking his nose in other people’s business, bothering sourcemates, bothering people of status, following people around asking them to play with him and hang out with him. May have a plush castle to live in, and may occasionally have to be babysat due to age sliding younger. 

> Possible outerworld behavior: is very loud and excitable, prone to being bothersome. Loves being around friends and will spam text them, likes to text in all caps and send multiple messages at once, can be difficult to read their messages.

[purgetrooperfox]

🍋🍈

[fruits]

🍈 Who’s your blorbo and what are some of your favorite headcanons/ideas about them that repeatedly show up in your fics? Free pass to rant about blorbo opinions.

well I have Roach brainrot rn for sure, which is a lot like oc brainrot tbh

I'm on team Roach Is A Small Towner lol I wound up planting his background in Navasota, TX, which is pretty small now and was smaller however many decades ago. beautiful place though. I also slapped tree farmer parents and a much (like 14ish years) younger brother on him to resent as a teen

my appearance hc is pretty clear here :) although I do need to draw him with a military crop. it's on the to-do list o7 I give him burn scars from an accident early in his military career and a healthy anxiety about fire, and the facial scars down his forehead that you see in fandom sometimes

speaking of military career! I give him an Army -> Rangers -> 141 route based on a one-off line in Soap's journal about the types who ended up as task force candidates. sometimes I see hcs that Roach is wildly young, but if he enlisted at 17-18 and follows a slightly (believably) accelerated path to becoming a Ranger, he'd be ~21 when he gets to that point, and would need at least 2-3 years (by my reckoning) to build a reputation strong enough to make Soap's short list and get to sergeant, that puts him at 23-24 in 2011 (when 141 was assembled) at the youngest. which is so young! but it's not 19 💀 it also puts him at 29-30 during the events of mw2 in 2016

what else have I been pondering. he is, of course, very difficult to kill. he smokes like a chimney and gets an oral fixation out of it, if he's not smoking he's chewing gum or hard candy or biting his nails or some such. perpetually leaning on the nearest surface. he's rough around the edges, kind of an abrasive personality, opinionated but has to be cracked open (or drunk) to spill those opinions

attack dog vibes, fiercely and unwaveringly loyal to Soap. interestingly, that doesn't extend very far to Price and his all means justify the ends approach. he and Soap gang up on bullying Ghost's accent and general Britishness, which he gladly reciprocates. he and Ghost want to study each other under a microscope. intrigue 👉👈

🍋 What’s your favorite spicier trope to write?

FAVORITE? I love slightly toxic power play. I also . really enjoy writing xeno apparently 💀 uhhh fighting as foreplay,,, I can't think of a trope/concise phrase for some of this stuff. breathplay with extra variables,,, d/s dynamics,,, man. kink is good and fun

[mouwrites]

Hi! It’s 🍋

So if you’ve still got slots I would love a matchup, if possible for South Park! Romantic, and I’m homosexual 🫶. I’m 5’2, ftm and pretty heavyset! My hobbies are writing (poetry/fanfic), drawing, sculpting and reading. I’m super into video games and music!!! I like to cook and clean a TON, doing it idly when I’m thinking or listening to true crime podcasts or something. I’m pretty ambiverted, never going out of my way to make new friends (irl that is) but I’m super polite! I love listening to people talk!

I hope that’s enough but not too much!!! Have a great day, dude! 💖

YAY it’s always good to see returning friends! I match you with:

Butters Stotch!!

Some headcanons:

Butters is absolutely enchanted by you

You’re just so talented!! He could spend hours admiring a single piece of your work

And he has; sometimes you’ll catch him gazing admiringly at gifts you made for him

He’s also 100% down to let you draw on him if you want

He’s also stoked that you like video games and reading

He loves to geek out with you and share recommendations

Another factor that’s got him hooked on you is your politeness

He thinks it’s admirable that you’re nice to everyone, always giving them the benefit of the doubt

It’s very different from the attitudes he’s seen at school…

So, as a kind little fellow himself, he can fully appreciate that you’re two of a kind :)

He also loves ranting around you

You’re the listening ear he secretly longs for

Whether it’s a video game or trouble at home, he knows he can trust you to really listen to what he’s saying

You’re like a packet of paradise for him in that sense

Just a break from everything; a break with someone who understands, someone who listens, someone who can relate

When he first heard you listening to a true crime podcast while cleaning, he was shaking in his boots

So he stayed away from you while you cleaned, saving the “thank you”s for when you finish, turning the podcast off

But after a while he finds himself getting interested in them, and he lingers longer when he stumbles upon you cleaning

Eventually he decides to join you, and you delight at his dramatic reaction to the details of the case

He loves to call you “Mr. Artist,” “sweetie,” or “honey”

And he’ll melt if you call him “Mr. Handsome,” “baby,” or even just his name

He’s just obsessed with you (and your interests) tbh, especially because you’re so similar

A drabble!!

“What are you doing?”

You pulled out an earbud. “Just drawing.”

“Are you listening to a scary podcast?”

You grinned. He called your true crime podcasts “scary podcasts,” though you doubted that they really scared him anymore. Case in point:

“Can I listen?”

You scooted over, nodding cordially. He nestled beside you, gathering his legs up by his chest and leaning against you. “Can I watch you draw too?”

“Of course. Thank you for asking,” you planted a quick kiss on Butters’ cheek, your heart fluttering a little at his giddy response. His cheeks went ruddy with joy as his eyes scanned your sketchbook.

The podcast you were listening to finished. In the brief pause before another one started up, Butters jumped at the opportunity to compliment you, as always.

“You’re so good at drawing,” he gawked, hooking your arms together in an attempt to get even closer.

You turned your head a little, about to give him another kiss as a “thank you,” but he turned his head just as quickly, beating you to it with a kiss on the lips.

“Mr. Artist,” he chirped, nuzzling his head back into the crook of your neck.

“Thank you, Mr. Handsome,” you reciprocated, leaning your head against his.

A giggle bubbled from Butter’s lips, bringing a little chuckle out of you, too. You both laughed even more when the podcast—as if on cue—promptly detailed a particularly morose scene.

“Talk about juxtaposition!”

Your laughter overtook you both, and you abandoned both sketchbook and earbuds, literally rolling on the floor together until your stomachs ached.

And a song!

First Date (blink-182)

In the car, I just can't wait

To pick you up on our very first date

Is it cool if I hold your hand?

Is it wrong if I think it's lame to dance?

Do you like my stupid hair?

Would you guess that I didn’t know what to wear?

…

Let’s go, don’t wait

This night’s almost over

Honest, let’s make

This night last forever

Yippee! I’m so lucky to have supporters like you my dear, I truly hope you enjoyed this!!

(divider by saradika)

[gemmahale]

hiiii can i pls have 🍏, 🥝 and 🍈 from that ask game? <33 (feel free to sub or skip any of them if you’ve already gotten these <3)

Fruit Fic Ask Game!

Hi Glossy! I think you helped me get all the fruits on that meme. 😊

🍏 Is there something you overuse, whether it’s a certain phrase, trope, or piece of punctuation?

I answered that one here. So instead, I'll sub in 🍋. 😉

🍋 What’s your favorite spicier trope to write?

I love writing D/s dynamics. Things with process and routines and deference and implicit obedience. I love writing a top that asks for autonomous control from the bottom where the bottom has to ask for things from the top. I love writing kink, in all sorts of forms - nonsexual and sexual.

🥝 What’s your favorite trope/AO3 tag to write?

Ooh, hm. I had to think on this a minute. I like subverting expectations. I like taking tropes and turning them on their head. I like characterizations that go deeper than the surface and they reveal how human the characters are. I don’t know what that tag is, tbh. 😅 (I’m also blanking on tags I’d use on my pieces, so…uh, have that I guess.) 😂

🍈 Who’s your blorbo and what are some of your favorite headcanons/ideas about them that repeatedly show up in your fics? Free pass to rant about blorbo opinions.

I answered this one here first, but I have more to share!

Price comes from a family of veterans. He’s a legacy soldier, determined to prove himself in comparison to his extended family.

Johnny will always have some sibling, it just depends on what’s useful to the story. Gender and age varies, but he has at least one family member he vibes with a lot.

Gaz sometimes has a twin (identical/fraternal/paternal varies), or at least one sibling. Someone in the immediate Garrick family is not straight.

Ghost often has a hobby that’s very nature oriented - birdwatching, rockhounding, wild plant foraging, etc. He needs something to do to ground himself when things go topsy.

[total-serene560]

🍎 🍋 🍈 !!

*crawls out of a ditch 10 days later*

🍎: is there anything you straight up won't write?

Anything I'm not comfortable with my friends seeing (some of them know my AO3 username, so). Otherwise, if it makes sense for the character and the story, I'm usually willing to write it.

🍋: What's your favorite spicer trope to write?

When characters get really carried away with each other when kissing/making out. Also just palpable sexual tension between characters. (I'm so vanilla I'm sorry LOL)

🍈: Who's your blorbo and what are some of your favorite headcanons/ideas about them that repeatedly show up in your fics? Free pass to rant about blorbo opinions.

Mike Wheeler, obviously. I haven't written too many fics yet (working on that rn haha), but I enjoy the hc that he adamantly wanted to marry Will when he was like 5. I also hc that he has a propensity towards alcoholism (surprisingly I didn't get this idea from you but I think we just share a braincell lmao), would probably end up teaching English, and would have hair at one point that looks like Hugh Grant's in the late 90's. He also will totally end up having to wear glasses as he gets older (looking at Ted). Also I hc that Mike feels really rejected by his family and especially his sister, but he doesn't know how to express that so he just gets annoyed with them/tries to annoy them purposefully because he misses how things were when he was a kid and felt closer to them all. I could go on and on but I gotta save some stuff for my fics LOL.

Also I'll throw in an idea from the 1890s Old West AU: Mike has a copy of Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman and he can recite it from memory from how much he reads it. I chose this book specifically bc, well, here's some quotes lmao:

“Not I, nor anyone else can travel that road for you. You must travel it by yourself. It is not far. It is within reach. Perhaps you have been on it since you were born, and did not know. Perhaps it is everywhere - on water and land.”

“I too am not a bit tamed, I too am untranslatable, I sound my barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world.”

“I am not to speak to you, I am to think of you when I sit alone or wake at night alone. I am to wait, I do not doubt I am to meet you again. I am to see to it that I do not lose you.”

“I cannot be awake, for nothing looks to me as it did before, or else I am awake for the first time, and all before has been a mean sleep.”

[beansidhebumbling]

Thank you so much @whyisaravenlike-awritingdesk 🥺🥺🥺🥺💖💖💖💖

🍓 How did you get into writing fanfiction?

I read ACOTAR in my third year of uni and then i stewed on it for a whole year because, well, you know. Coming up to my finals I was stress daydreaming and finally cracked and wrote fanfiction for the first time. I had been a long time fanfic reader but I had never written anything.

🍇 How many fandoms have you written in?

Technically two but really just one. The first thing I ever wrote I posted in the S&B fandom (even though I've only read SoC and never watched the series). I had imagined it to be a nezriel piece while writing but the acotar fandom seemed...very intense. I've since just published it as a nezriel one-shot but I used S&B as my gateway into posting haha.

🍈 How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

This is my one year anniversary of writing! I used to write bits and pieces as a kid, no fanfiction, just stories. I fell out of the habit and only wrote in my secondary school English class for assignments. Nothing has compelled me to write until the travesty of ACOSF haha 🥲

🍎 Do you read or write more fanfiction?

I write more now. I'm really focused on finding joy in creating at the moment.

🍌 What is one way you've improved as a writer?

Umm I'd say the fact I'm writing at all is an improvement. Finding hobbies again after a decade long mental health crisis feels like finding parts of myself I didn't know existed. I'd also say I've gotten more comfortable with posting imperfect writing.

🍑 Do you have any bad habits as a writer?

I repeat phrases and sentence structures all the time. Also I find religious references around every corner. lol.

🍍 What's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

I don't want writing to feel like a chore. And I have to do a lot of research for my work. As such I don't really research too much when I write. I don't check the acotar wiki, I don't do deep dives on random topics. I'm just not at that place yet, maybe I never will be. I do visit fragrantica, the perfume website a lot though, I put a lot of thought into how characters smell when I write.

🍉 What's your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

Any comments make my day. I'll often put off answering just so I can keep looking at them. But people doing little rants in reblogs on tumblr is so special, seeing someone's train of thought like that is heart warming. Any comments about how I've converted people to Rhysta are great too. Oh, or repeat commenters or people who go through my ao3 account and comment on everything. Actually heaven-sent beings.

🍐 What's the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

Well I guess non-canon ships can feel very fringe in this fandom even though I personally don't consider them to be. I'm fairly front and centre on my Rhysta bias haha. I have a preference for non canon ships anyways.

🥭 What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

Multi chapter works haha. I don't write purely to write or because I have stories I must tell. I write to connect with people. People are poor at engaging with multi chapter works before they have some steam behind them usually (I have thoughts on this). But because of that I've no real motivation to write them. I have hundreds of ideas but I never bother. I can think the plot through in my head and I'm satisfied with that so if others aren't really engaging I'm not fussed. My aim is to write a longer 10 to 15k work before my two year anniversary here haha.

Also anything centred on Elain. I just really struggle with my characterisation of her. She feels like a black hole. Also the whole discourse around her just grinds my gears a little. Different strokes for different folks though. No hate to Elain people, just not personally my thing.

🍏 What is the easiest type?

Drabbles, especially drama and angsty ones. I love writing characters at their most unhinged or messy.

🍋 What is something you've been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

Tomione or just pure smut

🍇 What made you choose your username?

I wanted my new account to harken back to my old one (sunlightsage) in some way. B is a very night letter to me. also it feels like the opposite side of the coin, sunlightsage was a cheery but calm name while beansidhebumbling is more mystical and messy. I like the link to Irish too, using bean sidhe as opposed to the anglicised banshee.

If I was being deep I'd say sunlightsage felt more like my people facing personality (least til my spiral at the end) while beansidhebumbling is closer to how I am while by myself.

No pressure tag for @theladyofbloodshed, @aho-dapa, @feyres-divorce-lawyer, @middlingsister (i know the hiatus is on but just in case you want to) and @ae-neon

Also sorry if you've already been tagged!!

Answer the questions and tag five fanfiction authors you know!

Thanks so much for the tag @tunaababee 🥰 The post got a bit long, so went ahead and made a fresh one....

🍓 How did you get into writing fanfiction?

I joined the 1D fandom back in 2011, which was my first foray into the world of fanfiction. Started writing some drabbles and imagines here on Tumblr which then led to proper fics which then led to where I am today

🍇 How many fandoms have you written in?

Just three! One Direction, All For the Game, and now ACOTAR

🍈 How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

I think I wrote my first proper fanfiction in... 2012? 2013? So I guess technically over a decade, but I did take a break from fandom and fanfiction writing in 2017 before returning in 2021, soooo how are we counting here?

🍎 Do you read or write more fanfiction?

Recently, I've been writing more than reading. I like to spend my evenings after work and dinner writing

🍌 What is one way you've improved as a writer?

Well, if you ask certain people, it's that I now write smut 😂 I never wrote smut before the ACOTAR fandom and even then, I didn't write smut until a good number of fics in.... and now look at me! Writing gargoyles and fae men in the woods 💀

🍑 Do you have any bad habits as a writer?

It's absolutely the way I have a bad tendency to repeat phrases and words over and over again across all my fics

🍍 What's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Basically everything I researched for Falling For Your Fools Gold. I went really deep into pirate facts and uncovered so many weird but interesting things 🍋🍋🍋

🍉 What's your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

I mean 10/10 I love any comment that my fics receive! But I do have a special place for people losing their minds or the ones calling Cassian an idiot (affectionately)

🍐 What's the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

Does Rhysta count? That feels a bit fringe just because it's most definitely a crack-ship

🥭 What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

Probably canon-verse? I think my overall issues with canon and the mess that is canon makes it hard sometimes to fit stories and characters within those confines while still achieving what I want from the story/characters

🍏 What is the easiest type?

Modern AU, fluffy little drabble!

🍋 What is something you've been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

Feysand

🍇 What made you choose your username?

My AO3 name is of course related to my 1D days. The Lou being Louis Tomlinson. And pumpkin spice just being delicious. So voila! Pumpkinspice_Lou

Tagging with no pressure: @moodymelanist @kale-theteaqueen @whyisaravenlike-awritingdesk @talkfantasytome @unhealthyfanobsession

[tangylemonade]

Tales of melancholic love

~ for Yoon Jeonghan

[angelasscribbles]

Maximum Damage (A Bad Romance AU)

Series: What If

Original Series: Bad Romance

Bad Romance One-Shots

Fandom: The Royal Romance

Pairings: Riley x Liam, Liam x Max, Riley x Max, Riley x Drake (Past)

Rating: MA and NSFW. There are🍋’s but that’s not the main issue, please read the trigger warnings before deciding if you want to read this.

Warnings for this chapter: Major character deaths, graphic description, traumatic birth, premature birth, car accident, suicide, emotional trauma.  

Song Inspiration: There are two for this chapter, both are by Imagine Dragons. Drake’s song is Dull Knives and Liam’s song is Waves.

Word Count: 12,612

A/N: I have never posted a chapter or a one-shot this long. I generally break chapters in two if they get close to 5k words. One-shots turn into two or three-shots or whole ass miniseries, but it just felt wrong to split this one. I didn’t want anyone waiting for the next installment, I feel like the emotional impact is stronger if it’s read all at once. And I apologize for what @21wishes has referred to as the emotional carnage I have unleashed here. This isn’t where I expected this story to go when I started it, but stories sometimes take on a life of their own and trust me, I broke my own heart along the way. There are no happy endings here, so please proceed with caution.

Special shoutout to @karahalloway @dcbbw @harleybeaumont @21wishes for doing one or more of the following: prereading snippets, bouncing ideas with me, listening to me rant about this, giving general emotional support for my self inflicted trauma and mostly for not blocking and deleting me for this fic.

My other stuff: Master List.

Cordonia……

“What is it?” Max rounded the corner, out of breath, “I got here as fast as I could!”

Max was brought up short by the sight in the front of him and the sounds issuing from the bedroom. Liam was sitting on the couch in the living room of his private quarters, head clutched in his hands, fingers tearing at his hair. When he lifted his eyes, they were red rimmed, his usually perfectly pressed shirt was rumpled, his tie was hanging loosely around his neck, his hair, generally perfectly coiffed, was in disarray. He looked like he’d been on a three day bender, but he’d been perfectly fine that morning.

As bad as the sight of distressed Liam was, the sounds issuing from the bedroom were worse. Shrill wailing, a sound like a wounded, and dying, animal pierced the air. Max’s heart leapt in panic, “What’s wrong? What happened?”

Liam reached onto the coffee table in front of him and lifted a rectangular piece of paper, thrusting it into the other man’s hands. Max glanced down at the gold foil embossed cream colored cardstock. His eyes scanned down it an attempt to decipher how it was connected to the heart rending sounds Riley was making from the other room.

It was a save the date card. For a wedding. As he read the curling, gold script, his heart sank to the bottom of his feet, “Oh no.”

“Please save the date.” The card read, “For the wedding celebration of Kiara Theron and Drake Walker.” There was a date and a location with the promise of a formal invitation to follow.

“I don’t know what to do, Max.” Liam’s voice cracked, “Nothing I do helps. She won’t let me near her! I’ve never seen her like this!”

“It’s ok, Liam, I’ll go calm her down.” Max hoped he sounded more confidant in that declaration than he felt.

Liam’s shoulders sagged with relief as he grabbed Max and pulled him into a hug so tight, it forced the air from his body, “Thank you.” He sobbed into Max’s shoulder.

Max returned Liam’s embrace, “Hey, it’s going to be ok.”

Liam sobbed into Max’s shoulder, “I should have done more to keep him from leaving in the first place! I should have gone after him-“

“You tried.” Max comforted him, “You went after him at the cabin, and he said no.”

“I should have gone to Texas, I was going to, but things kept coming up and I kept putting it off.”

“It wouldn’t have made a difference; his mind was made up.”

“You don’t know that. What if everything would have been different?”

“You can’t think like that, Li.”

The door slammed as Riley emerged from the bedroom.

“Riley, do you want to talk about it?” Max asked.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” She told him, “He’s not going to marry her! He doesn’t love her, he loves me!”

Max and Liam exchanged a look. Riley had been insisting that Drake was coming back ever since he’d left six months ago. “Riley, love, it might time to accept that-“

She whirled on him, “Shut up, Liam, just shut up! I don’t want to hear your opinion right now!” She stormed out of their room.

“Where is she going?” Liam looked at Max.

“I’ll find out!” Max leapt out the door and followed her down the hall.

Riley stormed through the palace toward the guard offices. Drake wasn’t answering her calls or returning her texts. She had been so certain he was coming back. She had waited too long, that’s what happened. She should have reached out to him before now. There was no way he was marrying Kiara. Right? She felt uncertainty twist in her gut. Why wouldn’t he answer his phone? He had always answered for her. But she hadn’t called, hadn’t texted him in six months. She’d written him letters, at first, but they’d all gone unanswered, so she’d stopped. She’d been trying to give him time, space, but he must have interpreted that as neglect, indifference, that’s what had happened. He thought she didn’t love him anymore, she just had to reassure him that she did, that’s all.

“Jason!” Riley slammed through the door of the cyber security office.

The blond lieutenant almost jumped out of his chair, his feet clattering to the floor as he sat upright and pulled them off the top the desk where they’d been propped, “Yes, your majesty? What’s wrong?”

“I need Captain Walkers location right now! Do whatever you have to do! Trace his phone, hack his social media or the GPS on his car! I need to know where he’s at yesterday!”     

“Um…ok….but-“

“But? But? Are you refusing a direct order from your queen?”

“No, of course not!”

“Then what’s the but for?”

“I was just going to say there’s no need for all of that. I already know where he’s at.”

Riley blinked, “You do? How?”

“Yes. We keep in touch. I spoke to him two days ago. He’s in New York.”

New York……

Drake sat on the edge of the bed staring at his phone screen. His heart was in his throat. Riley!

His fingers hovered over the keyboard as he tried to formulate a response. Why was she texting him? How did she know about the wedding?

All his questions were answered a minute later when a text from Max popped up on his phone.

He stared down on his screen in disbelief then typed one last message before jumping up from the bed and storming into the living room.

Drake waved his phone in front of Kiara’s face, “You sent her a save the date card, Ki? What the hell?”

“Excuse me?”

He sat the phone on the counter and shoved it toward her with Max’s message open. “You sent Riley a save the date card? Why would you do that?”

“Don’t you want her to be happy for us? For you? Besides, Liam is your best friend, of course I sent-“

“Oh, bullshit! You just wanted to rub it in Riley’s face! And why the fuck do we have save the date cards, Ki? Huh? We haven’t even picked a venue yet!”

“The Château d'Esclimont just outside of Paris-“

“Paris? Wait, the The Château d'Esclimont…” He searched his memory, “Is that a fucking castle?!”

“Yes, but-“

“We are not getting married in a fucking castle!”

“I already sent the deposit! It’s nonrefundable!”

“Without talking to me first?” He was irate, “I wanted a simple ceremony by the side of a damn pond or something! Maybe even at the ranch in Texas without fanfare or a lot of guests and you know that! I don’t want a fancy wedding but here you are sending out all these cards I didn’t even know about, and you already booked the venue without consulting me!”

“Oh, but I know you’ll love it, once you see it! Besides, there wasn’t time, if we wanted the date, we had to move fast!”

“We? If we wanted the date? You mean you, right, because I wasn’t involved in this decision at all!”

“Drake, it’s my wedding too and I don’t want to get married by a goddamn pond or on a fucking farm!”

“First of all, it’s a ranch-“

“If you’ll just give it a chance, it'll grow on you, you haven’t even seen it yet!”

“We said we were going to talk about these things, compromise a little, meet in the middle-“

“I would discuss these things with you if you were ever reasonable about any of them!”

“You know what? Do whatever the fuck you want, I don’t care!”

A message notification dinged, and Kiara glanced down at Drake’s phone screen. It was text message from Riley.

“Why the hell is there a heart next to her name, Drake?”

“What?”

“You heard me, why the fuck is there a heart next to Riley’s name in your phone?”

“Of for the love of….” He grabbed the phone off the counter and shoved it in his pocket, “I just never changed it ok? You know I was in a relationship with her before you and I-“

“Yeah, before you and I. We’re fucking engaged, Drake, engaged and you still have a heart next to your ex-girlfriend’s name!”

“That doesn’t mean anything, I forgot it was there, I haven’t looked at that contact in months!” That was a lie. He’d lost count of how many nights he’d swiped her contact open then sat and stared at his phone, fingers hovering over the screen, sometimes even typing out, then deleting messages. How many messages had he typed and never sent? I love you, I miss you, I want to come home. Then he’d remind himself that she chose another man, married another man, delete the text and pour a glass of whiskey instead.

Kiara had definitely known about his feelings for Riley when they had reconnected over social media. She hadn’t used his depression and vulnerability to manipulate the situation, had she?

She had been stationed in New York at the Cordonian Embassy, and she’d gone to San Antonio on a girl’s weekend. Since they’d been talking on social media, she had known San Antonio was close to the ranch and invited him out for a drink. One thing had led to another and the next thing he knew, he was moving to New York to be with her. He hadn’t wanted a relationship; it had been the last thing he’d wanted actually. But he’d been lonely, hurting and homesick.

Now somehow, here he was, engaged. The closer it got to the wedding the more agitated he became. He had never wanted to get married, not even to Riley. What the fuck was he doing?

She had proposed to him. After sex when he had his guard down and he’d still been raw from the breakup with Riley. He wasn’t sure why he’d agreed. Maybe it was because he was never going to have the woman he really wanted, the only one that had ever held his heart in her hands, so why not? And if marrying the woman Riley hated most in the world stuck it to her a little bit, then that was a fringe benefit.

Riley had held his beating heart in her bare hands, and she’d crushed it. She’d destroyed it and destroyed him. So why the hell not marry the girl who actually wanted him? Wanted him just for himself, not what she could get out of him, not for whatever part he could play in her power scheme. To Riley, he’d been just a cog in her machine. She’d wanted him for his ability as a soldier, for his professional qualifications, to shore up her power base. That’s what he kept telling himself.                  

Kiara wanted him just for him. Or at least that’s what he’d thought at the time. But she’d almost immediately started trying to turn him into someone he wasn’t.

“I bought you some new clothes.”

“Why? What's wrong with my old ones?”

“Nothing, just thought you could use some new ones.”

“These don’t look like something I’d wear.”

“Oh, but you’ll look so sexy in this! This color really compliments your eyes!”

“My eyes don’t need complimenting.”

“Why are you acting like this? It's just a suit, what's the big deal?”

“There’s no big deal, I just don’t like it.”

“Come on, baby, wear it just this once, for me? Please? We're going to a fancy restaurant. It’s for my job, this is important to me.“ She wheedled as she ran her fingers up his chest.

“Fine. I’ll wear the button up, maybe the jacket, but not the tie. That tie is hideous.”

“But you need to fit in, Drake. My boss will be there, along with a bunch of diplomats. Just do it for me, please? Don't embarrass me. It’s just a fucking tie. Why do you have to be so difficult?”

“Am I not good enough for you the way I am, Ki?” Riley had never given a shit what he wore.

“Don’t be ridiculous! Of course you are, but this is a work function! I'm just asking you to fit in for one fucking night! I do shit I don’t like for you all the goddamn time!”

“Like what?”

“Oh, I don’t know! Like going to a rodeo, Drake, an actual fucking rodeo, with cows and dirt! Eating BBQ, I mean…what the fuck is it actually? Does anyone know? I’ve gone hiking, I’ve gone to trivia night, fucking trivia night!”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize spending time with me was such a fucking chore!”

“Stop being dramatic. I did it for you. You can do this for me. Wear the fucking tie!”

He understood that she wanted him physically, but she didn’t seem to have the first clue who he really was. She was too busy trying to make him more like the noblemen she was used to dating. And he hated it. There was no way he could marry her, right?

New York, two days later….

A knocking on the door pulled him from a sound sleep. He blinked at the clock. It was five o’clock in the goddamn morning. What the hell?

“I’m coming!” He shouted as he stumbled to the door and pulled it open.

“Riley!” He stood frozen to the spot in shock, suddenly wide awake.

“Why do you look so surprised? I told you that if you didn’t answer the goddamn phone, I was coming to you!” She shoved her way into the room.

“I… didn’t think you meant it.” He pushed the door closed as his heart threatened to beat out of his chest. She was here, in his apartment and all he wanted to do was pull her into his arms. But he wouldn’t….he couldn’t.

“I have never said anything to you that I didn’t fucking mean, Drake!”

“Well, we both know that’s not true.” What the hell was he doing? He drug a hand through his hair as panic sliced through him. She was standing right there, after six long months of missing her, wanting her, loving her, and instead of pulling her into his arms, he was being pissy.

“Really? That’s how it’s going to be?” Fire snapped in her eyes.

“I don’t know what you want! It’s five o’clock in the fucking morning! Why are you even here? Where’s your husband?” He asked bitterly.

“How the fuck could you get engaged to her, Drake? To her, of all people!”

Had she flown across an ocean just to pick a fight with him? It  didn’t matter that he’d been asking himself that same question before she showed up at his door, she had no right to ask it. “She was there for me after you married my best friend! She picked up the pieces of me that you destroyed, Riley!”

He’d been ready to call off the engagement with Kiara, but seeing Riley again just drove home all the reasons he needed something, anything to focus on that wasn’t her.

“You don’t love her.”

“Yes, I do.”

“You don’t! I know you don’t!”

“You don’t know anything about me. Not anymore.”

“Yes, I do. I know you, Drake, I know you!”

He shook his head resolutely, “Not. Anymore.”

“We could run away together, like you wanted to!”

“Little late for that,” He scoffed, “Did you forget you’re married now?”

“I’ll leave him.”

“What?” His head snapped up, and he fought to tamp down the little flare of hope that flashed through him. Hope was only a set up for disappointment and pain.

“You heard me….I’ll leave Liam.”

His jaw clenched tightly as he gritted out, “I’ve heard that lie before.”

“It’s not a lie, I love you!”

That was exactly what she’d said before she amended the goddamn marriage contract that she could have terminated. “If you truly love me, then just go and let me be happy.”

“But you’re not happy, Drake, you’re not!”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Drake, please, just…” She stepped forward, reaching for him. She wrapped her arms around his neck.

He pulled them down and pushed her gently away as he took a step back. “Don’t.”

He watched as confusion swept across her face. Right. Because she’d always been able to sway him with sex before. But he was stronger now. He wasn’t going to give in to that manipulation.

“You don’t want me to touch you?” She sounded hurt, confused.

“You’re just mad because you can’t manipulate me anymore, can’t bend me to your will and use me for your own ends!” He shouted at her.

Her reaction shattered everything he though he knew. She didn’t get mad. He’d expected her to rage, break things, scream at him, call him stupid.

She looked like she’d been slapped. Her body physically jerked back when he said it. Her eyes widened, bigger than he’d ever seen them. Tears welled up in them. Shocked disbelief and something else flitted across her face. Heartbreak. It looked like heartbreak. Her voice shook and he could barely hear her as she whispered, “Is that what you think?”

Well, it had been. That had been his assumption from the moment she’d told him she had amended the marriage contract with Liam instead of breaking it. What else was he supposed to think? But that response stuck in his throat as he took in the devastation he clearly saw in her eyes, “Riley…”

“Oh my god. It is!” Her hands flew up to cover her mouth as the tears started to spill down her cheeks. Her body twisted like she was turning to leave at the same time that her knees buckled, and she slowly dropped to the floor, collapsing in a heap as her head dropped down and her hands came up to cover her eyes. Great, heaving sobs shook her body, she made a noise like a scream but with almost no sound, a whisper scream, but it ripped at his heart.

He'd only seen her cry like that once. After Tariq. He forgot all the reasons he was supposed to keep his distance from her as he dropped to ground next to her and tried to take her in his arms.

She jerked away from him, “Don’t touch me! Don’t fucking touch me unless you mean it!”

“I don’t understand what you want from me!” He cried in pain and confusion.

She looked up at him, her face tear streaked, “You hate me, don’t you? You actually hate me! You never believed in me, and you really were never coming back! Liam and Max were right, you weren’t coming back, and I’m the one that’s stupid! God, I love you so much, even now and you love her! Did you ever love me at all, Drake?”

“Riley-“ His voice broke as the tidal wave of emotions he’d been keeping at bay for months pushed against the crumbling wall of his resistance.

“I hate her, Drake, I hate her, and I hate you! I’ll never fucking forgive you for this, never!”

The agony in her voice was breaking him, the deep, gulping sobs, the heart-rending tone in her tears, were the sounds of grief, raw and fresh. He recognized it. He understood grief only too well.

What he didn’t understand was why. She’d married Liam, she’d chosen Liam. And she had Max to boot. She didn’t actually love him, if she did, she would have terminated that contract and left Cordonia with him.

He didn’t understand her at all, but her pain was breaking him. He reached for her again, “Riley, please-“

“Get off me, Drake!” She screamed at him as she shoved him away, “All you’ve ever done is push me away and hurt me! Marry that fucking bitch then, I hope you’re both fucking miserable!”

She jumped up off the ground and ran out the door. And he let her.

Riley cried as she stumbled out the door and ran into her bodyguard.

“Are you ok Your Majesty?” Marco caught her in his arms, his glance going to Drake’s door then back to his charge.

“Just get me out of here, Marco, please.” She sobbed into her hands.

“Of course!” He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and guided her down the hall as he motioned for the rest of the team to go ahead and clear the way.

She gave the driver instructions to take her straight back to the airport. What was the point of staying? He didn’t love her anymore; he’d make that abundantly clear. He’d rejected her, again. Even after she’d offered to leave her husband.

Maybe she could leave Liam, but could she leave Max? Max had never hurt her. All Drake did was hurt her. Liam hurt her; Drake hurt her. Max picked up the pieces. Max glued her back together time and time again. 

She needed Max. She needed to get back home to the one man who would glue all her broken pieces back together. The man who never shied away from her brokenness, no matter how raw or how deep her pain got. She pushed the intercom button and told the driver to hurry then she collapsed into the seat and cried.

France, six months later….

“You came.”

“Of course I came, Drake. You’re my best friend.” Liam gave him an awkward smile. They hadn’t really talked since the day in the cabin when Liam had tried to make Drake see reason. But he was still his best friend, and he was getting married.

Drake pulled at his collar, looked away then back at Liam, “Uh…did….Riley come?”

Liam had been rocking back and forth on his feet. He stilled as he gave Drake a searching look, “No.”

She was there, in Paris, back at the hotel. But she hadn’t been able to bring herself to attend the ceremony. She’d insisted that he go without her. But he wasn’t telling Drake that.

“Oh, ah….Is everything okay?”

“No, Drake, nothing has been ok since you left.”

“What do you mean?” He asked in surprise.

“What do you mean, what do I mean? Why don’t you tell me? What the hell happened in New York?”

Drake looked away. “Nothing happened in New York! I mean, we talked, she wasn’t there for very long….”

“Yeah, well, she came back destroyed, Drake. Fucking destroyed!”

His gaze shot back to Liam, startled, “Why?”

“Why? Are you really that dense?”

“I got out of your way, Liam. That should make you happy.”

“You’re a fucking idiot.”

“So, what are you trying to say? That you have marital problems because I didn’t stay and commit adultery?”

“Yes, Drake! That’s what I’m saying! Is that what you want to hear? That my marriage is in shambles because my wife is in love with you!?”

“No. She’s in love with you! Besides, when you came to the cabin and tried to talk me into coming back, you said you understood that she could love more than one person, because you loved her and Max!”

“Yes, but that’s when I thought she loved me too! After all of the hell we went through to be together, I never thought I’d question if it was worth it. I always believe that no matter what, she loved me, and I don’t anymore! She blames me, she fucking blames me for the marriage contract, for purposely coming between the two of you, which I did! All of it. She blames me for losing you and she’ll never forgive me for it!”

“She loves you, Li-“ Drake whispered hoarsely.

“If she loves me, why can’t she be happy with me, huh? The only reason I haven’t offered her the divorce that she clearly wants is because I’m afraid Max will go with her. Then I’ll have nothing and nobody.”

“That’s not going to happen. She loves you. They both do.”

A frustrated laugh escaped Liam’s lips.

“What?” Drake asked, perplexed.

“The fucking irony that you can understand Riley and Max loving each other and me and you can grasp me loving both of them, but you can’t see that she loves you too.”

“I…” Drake stared at his best friend for a long moment, then shook his head, “I can’t do this right now. I’m getting married in five minutes!”

“You sure about that?” Liam asked him.

“Yes, I’m sure about that.” He had never been less sure about anything in his life.

He stood at the altar, palms sweaty, nervously shifting from foot to foot. He pulled at his collar, his skin was itchy, everywhere. He wanted to scratch at it, he could feel it crawling, like there was a million stinging ants covering his body. He twitched, fighting the urge to rip off the tuxedo and claw himself bloody. How in the name of fucking hell had he gotten here?

He kept waiting for the moment everyone told him would come. That moment when the wedding day jitters calmed down and he realized the rightness of his decision. When his love for this woman overcame the nerves and the doubts.

He kept waiting, but it never happened and as he watched her appear at the top of the aisle, he realized with startling clarity that it was never going to happen. It was never going to happen because he didn’t love this woman. He loved Riley! He barely even liked Kiara. They were too different, too wrong for each other, too far apart in their beliefs, ideas and values about everything. There was no way it was ever going to work.

He felt claustrophobic, like the walls of the castle were closing in on him. His heart started to race, and he struggled to breath. Was this what a panic attack felt like?

He couldn’t marry her. He couldn’t. But she was halfway down the aisle, smiling at him like he was her whole world and her entire family, and his, had traveled to fucking Paris for this atrocity of a wedding. This completely over the top, ridiculous, monstrosity of a wedding. In a fucking castle no less. He hated every single detail about this wedding, from the destination to the floral arrangements to the fucking gold embroidered linen napkins.

This wedding was a nightmare. His life with Kiara would be a nightmare. He couldn’t breathe, he was burning up, every inch of his skin itched. He bent forward as he started to hyperventilate.

“Are you ok, son?” The priest asked in concern, “Is there a doctor in the house?”

The wedding was paused while the groom was escorted back to his dressing room to be checked out by a medical professional. But by the time the paramedics got there, he was gone.

France, later that night…

He somehow knew who was on the other side of the door before he opened it. She hadn’t been at the wedding. They hadn’t spoken since New York. But he knew it was her. He wouldn’t have answered the door for anyone else. He hadn’t answered the door for anyone else and there had been a steady stream of people knocking on it since he’d bolted from the wedding.

Drake held his breath as he pulled the door open. He stood in the doorway, one hand on the knob, the other still holding an open bottle of Johnnie Walker. He looked like holy hell. His eyes were red rimmed, he was shoeless, shirtless, his hair disheveled.

“Can I come it?” She asked, unsure of his reception.

He nodded and stepped back, sweeping his arm out.

She walked into the room. He shut the door. She turned around to face him. He turned around to face her. They stood, wordless, motionless. The bottle dropped from his hand and hit the floor, the whiskey pooling onto the carpet, forgotten as he moved across the room and pulled her roughly to him, his lips crashing down onto hers.

Her arms went around his neck, her body arched up onto the tips of her toes as she returned the kiss. Her hands pulled him forward eagerly, greedily.

“Riley…” He murmured against her mouth as a tidal wave of emotions threatened to overwhelm him. He buried his nose in the crook of her neck and inhaled, deeply, pulling her scent into his lungs, into his soul. His arms tightened their grip around her smell, and her touch, sparked turmoil within him.

Every ounce of pain from the months apart was yanked to the surface, all the loneliness, all the rejection. But it was interspersed with everything else as well. Every touch between them, every moment they’d ever shared, every laugh, every smile, every heated argument and every scorching embrace. The joy and love she provoked in his heart, the confusion and heartache she inspired. A kaleidoscope of feelings exploded inside him all at once. It was too much. It was too much.

He pressed his face deeper into the side of her neck, as his body started to heave, his cheeks slick with tears. He collapsed against her and cried without shame. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the stress, maybe it was the fact that his fractured heart just couldn’t hold it in any longer, but the rest of the world ceased to exist. Here was everything he’d ever wanted, or needed.

Her fingers sank into his back as she held him as close and as tight as she could, her sobs mingling with his own. They clung to each other with a desperate need, an immense yearning and a profound longing, staggering in its intensity. Nothing would ever be enough; they would never be over.

“I’m sorry….I’m sorry!” He wiped at his face as he pulled away.

“Don’t let go of me, please, I need you.” She implored.

That was all the encouragement he needed. His lips found hers again as his hands moved down her body, tracing over every curve, across every valley. His mouth trailed down her neck as he pulled at her clothes. He walked her backwards to the bed, both of them tugging the other’s clothing off as they went.

A finger dipped between her legs, pushing inside her then trailing upwards to tease at her clit. She leaned into him, both hands on his shoulders as her head rested on his chest. He lifted her naked body and sat her on the edge of the bed before kneeling on the floor in front of her. He pushed her legs apart and leaned in, stopping to inhale the scent of her arousal. He wanted to commit every detail to memory, as if this were the last time he would ever touch her.

He lapped gently up and down her center before lavishing attention on her clit as his tongue moved from soft to hard, from slow to fast, stroking, licking and sucking, working her until she cried out in pleasure while bucking herself up into his mouth.

The moment the orgasm had crested, he was on her, pushing her body further onto the bed and climbing on top of her. His lips made the trek from her lower body to her upper body, stopping to give ample attention to first one breast, then the other. He bit at the side of her neck, nipped along her jawline, and tugged at her bottom lip with his teeth.

He hovered over her, his gaze burning into her, drinking in her beauty, her surrender, her palpable need for him. She breathed out his name as he entered her.

It felt so right, she felt so right, in his arms, in his bed. Her head pushed back into the pillow as their bodies moved together like a perfectly orchestrated symphony.

His teeth bit down into his own lip hard enough to draw blood in an effort to hold his release at bay as he pushed her over the edge one, two, three more times.

Her hand sank into his hair as she whispered in his ear, “I love you. I love you so fucking much!”

He thrust into her one last time as ecstasy washed over him and he exploded inside her. His sweat slicked body collapsed onto the mattress next to her. She immediately rolled over and wrapped her body around him. His arms went around her automatically and he pulled her close to his side as he caught his breath. Her head pressed into his chest. His mouth kissed the top of her head. He held her there until her breathing evened out and he knew she was asleep.

“I love you; I have always loved you; I will always love you. You’re everything.” He whispered into her hair as she slept.

His lip was swollen and bloody where he’d bitten it, there was a bruise blooming on his chest in the shape of her teeth, and bloody lines of nail marks adorned his back, every throb of pain was laced with a jolt of pleasure. Delicious reminders of the night they’d just shared. But as delicious as it was, it was over. She wasn’t his, and she never would be.

When she woke up, he was already gone.

Six months later, Monaco….

Drake sat at the bar nursing a club soda.

“Waiting for someone?” The bartender asked.

“Sort of.” He replied.

“Can I get you something stronger?” He motioned to the club soda in Drake’s hand.

“No, I….you know what? Yeah, bring me a whiskey, whatever you got, make it a double.”

When the drink was deposited in front of him, the bartender gave him a searching look, “Are you ok, man?”

“Not really, but I’ll be fine.” Drake’s hand wrapped around the drink and slid it closer. He spun it a few times and watched the liquid slosh around. His thoughts were on his nonexistent love life. On his definitions of what love was. He was beginning to think he’d been wrong about everything.

Kiara had been physically loyal to him; their relationship had been monogamous and yet he’d been deeply unhappy in it. There was complete lack of understanding, of respect. They hadn’t even enjoyed each other’s company outside of the bedroom.

Riley understood him better than anyone else he’d ever known, including Liam. She’d understood him better than he understood himself most days. Sure, they’d had some epic fights, but the good moments far outweighed the bad and when it had been good, it had been amazing, beyond anything he’d ever experienced with another person.

He still wanted her, he still loved her, and he needed her, he needed her like fish needed water, like plants needed sunlight, he needed her like he needed the air in his lungs. Was it too late? It was probably too late, but he had to try. He was tired of running away, from his feelings, from her, all of it.

He’d run away after the wedding fiasco because he’d been confused, scared, ashamed of what he’d done to Kiara and still conflicted about his feelings for Riley. He’d spent three months getting drunk, then three months getting sober. Part of that was admitting the truth to himself. The simple truth was he loved her, and his life was crap without her in it.

He made a decision. He pushed the still full drink away, threw some bills down on the counter and went back to his room to pack.

Cordonia….

“What do you mean she’s not here?”

“I mean…she’s not here, Drake. Have you forgotten how to speak English?” Liam pushed a tumbler of bourbon into the other man’s hands then took a sip of his own. He didn’t give a damn that it wasn’t even lunchtime yet.

“When is she coming back?”

“She’s not coming back.” He said resignedly, “She left me. She’s with Max, at Ramsford.”

Drake startled. “When did that happen?”

Liam sighed as he resumed his seat and stared down into this glass, “Two months ago, give or take.”

“I’m so sorry Liam.”

“It’s a little late for that. Maybe if you had stayed, or come back sooner, it would have made a difference. Everything is broken now.”

“Everything? What about you and Max?”

Liam tilted his head to one side, “Max and I are still together, sort of. He comes by now and then, but he spends most of his time with her. Says she’s going through some stuff but he’s confident she’ll come back to me. I’m not. And I’m going through my own stuff, but whatever.”

Drake watched Liam drain his drink. Had he been completely wrong about everything? “Do you really think me staying would have changed the outcome of your relationship with her?”

Liam shrugged, “I don’t know, maybe.”

Drake deposited the bourbon Liam had given him, untouched, onto the desk and stood abruptly.

“Where are you going?” Liam asked as Drake headed for the door.

“To Ramsford! I’m getting her back for both of us!”

“Yeah, well, good luck with that.” Liam held his glass up in salute.

Ramsford….

“Max, wake up.” Riley poked him.

His eyes fluttered open to find her smiling down at him and happiness washed over him, “Good morning, my everything. What can I do for you this morning? Are you hungry? Can I get you something?”

She giggled, “No. I mean yes, I could eat, and I’d love a bagel with cream cheese but there’s something else I want and you’re going to like it.”

“What is it?”

“I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said the other day, about Liam and Drake and I think…well, I know you’re right.”

“I am?” He sat up quickly as hope surged through him, “I mean, I know I am but what changed your mind?”

She drew her knees up and leaned her chin on them, “It was the thing you said about everyone being responsible for their own choices and for how they deal with the circumstances dealt to them. I’ve been blaming Liam for Drake leaving but it’s not fair. Drake made that choice on his own and I probably pushed him to it. It was just easier to blame Liam than to deal with my own pain and guilt.”

“So…does that mean….” He sucked in a breath and held it as he watched her face.

She grinned again as she nodded and dropped her hands to cradle her newly expanded midsection, “I want to go home, I want us to be a family, all of us.”

“So, we can finally tell Liam about the baby?”

“Yes.”

“Oh my God, Riley! This is the best news ever! I’m going to call Liam!” Max bounded out of bed looking for his cell phone.

“Wait! Don’t call him, let’s surprise him. Besides, the baby isn’t something that should be done over the phone. He’s going to be so hurt I kept this from him, Max.”

Max doubled back to the bed and slid to his knees as he took her hand in his, “At first, but he’ll understand why you did it and he’ll get over it. He’ll just be thrilled to have you back, you’ll see.”

“I hope you’re right.”

On the road to the palace….

“Fuck!” Riley pitched forward and grabbed her stomach.

“What is it? Are you ok?”

“No, that really fucking hurt! Shit, was that a contraction?”

“What? No, it’s way too early!”

“I can’t breathe…shit…” She unbuckled her seat belt and drew in great, shuddering breaths.

“That’s not a good idea, put your seatbelt back on, Riley!”

“I don’t feel so good….this can’t be normal, I…I can’t see, Max, I’m scared! I feel so dizzy!” It was the last thing she said before her body slumped in the seat.

“Shit! Shit! Shit! Hold on, Riley, hold on, I’ll find the nearest hospital, I’ll call 911!” He fumbled for his phone, but his hand knocked it off the holder on his dash and into the floorboard. He bent to retrieve it from the floor, his eyes darting back and forth from the road to the floor as his hand scrabbled around searching for it. He felt relief wash over him as he finally made contact with the cool plastic of his phone case.

His attention was jerked back up by the blaring of a horn. His car had crossed the center line, he jerked the steering wheel, but it was too late. The sound of metal on metal was the last thing he heard before darkness swam in front of him.

“Fuck.” Drake breathed out as he pulled the SUV over to the side of the road. Now what? He craned his neck to see around the cars that were stopped, blocking the road.

There was a wreck up ahead. He jumped out of his vehicle to see if he could be of any assistance. He had first aid training as part of his military background. He could hear sirens wail in the distance and the sound of a helicopter, but they weren’t there yet. Sometimes minutes could make the different between life and death for someone.

His steps faltered as he got closer to the carnage. Smoking, twisted metal heaps that used to be cars. One of them was red, and on the small side. Like a Ferrari. Like Max’s Ferrari. No, he pushed the thought away, Max didn’t have the only small, red car in Cordonia and it was impossible to tell the make and model from the wreckage.

There was a body on the side of the road, someone had been ejected from the car on impact, thrown clear. He hurried over, heart thudding faster with every step. It was a woman. With long, auburn brown hair. Her face was turned away, but he knew it was her as he broke into a run.

“Riley! Riley!” He yelled her name as he ran, sliding to the ground as he made it to her side. He swept the hair away from her face and wiped at the blood. It was her. She wasn’t moving.

“Riley!” He screamed her name as he checked for a pulse. There was one, but it was thready.

“Wake up, wake up!” He pulled her into his arms, heedless of the blood soaking through her clothes, “Oh God, no, please, not her! Wake up, baby, wake up, stay with me, please.”

Tears streaked down his face as he rocked her back and forth, “I love you! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I left! I’m back, I’m here, please don’t leave me! You can’t leave me, Riley, life isn’t worth living without you in it!”

He didn’t hear the helicopter land, he was heedless of the paramedics until one grabbed his shoulder, “Sir, you have to let go of her, let us do our jobs.”

He nodded as he released her body into their hands. He looked around in shock. They were prying Max out of the driver’s seat with the jaws of life. Shit! Liam, he should call Liam. Bertrand. Somebody.

He pulled his phone out, but his hands were shaking so hard, it slipped from his grasp and shattered on the pavement.

“Sir?....Sir?”

He lifted his head to paramedic, barely able to process the words he was hearing.

“I said do you want to ride in the chopper with us? We have to go, now!”

He nodded and followed the man to the life flight helicopter.

Cordonian National Hospital….

“Right this way, Your Majesty.” A woman in a tailored suit ushed him into a private waiting room, “The doctor will be right with you.”

Liam had been notified the moment the hospital realized their patient was the queen. He’d taken a helicopter to get there faster.

He rose as a man with a doctor’s coat on entered the room, “Your Majesty?”

“Yes.”

The doctor pulled in a deep breath before reporting, “We tried everything; heroic measures were taken but we were unable to save her. I’m so sorry.”

“What?”

“Your wife, the queen, her injuries were too severe-“

“Stop….”

“Sir?”

“I said stop!” Liam’s head moved from side to side, slowly at first, then faster, “There has to be some mistake, it’s not possible. She can’t be….she can’t, ok?”

“I’m so sorry.” The doctor turned to Liam’s guard, Alec, “Is there someone that can be here with him? His brother? A friend?”

“Leo is on his way home from the states. Duchess Olivia will be here soon. Lady Hana as well.”

Liam sank back down onto the leather couch, dropping his head into his hands.

The doctor shifted nervously, “Uh…”

Liam lifted his head, “Was there something else?”

A look of confusion washed across the man’s face. “Did you want an update on the baby?”

Liam blinked slowly and his mouth fell open, “The baby?”

“Yes, the baby. She is obviously premature; she also sustained some injuries in the wreck. The trauma to the queen’s body would have probably started labor anyway, but we think she was already in labor before the accident occurred. The baby was expelled from her body, it’s something that happens when the mother is dying, the body pushes the baby out in an attempt to save it. She was born enroute to the hospital.”

Liam had no idea what to say. Riley had been pregnant? And she hadn’t told him. She hadn’t told him. Of course she hadn’t. She’d probably thought he would have forced her to stay if he knew.

But he had a daughter. “She…the baby….she’s alive?”

“Yes, but she’s very premature, her lungs weren’t developed, your wife had preeclampsia, her blood pressure spiked too high, she became hypertensive-“

“Stop! Please, I can’t…just…not right now. The baby, where is she?”

“In the NICU, I can take you but be prepared, she’s very small, she wasn’t ready to be born and she sustained some injuries in the wreck. She’s fighting for her life.”

“Yes, take me there now!”

“There’s one more thing…”

Jesus. What else could there be? “What?”

“The man that rode in the helicopter with her, we believe he’s one of her guards, maybe.”

Liam’s brows drew together. That wasn’t likely. If she’d been with her guards, they’d have been in one of the royal SUV’s, equipped with full roll cages.

“His identification says his name is Drake Walker.”

How? That wasn’t important at the moment, “Where is he?”

“He’s in one of the other waiting rooms. He’s asking for an update, but since he isn’t the next of kin, we’ve been unable to give him one.”

Shit.

“I’ll tell him. But take me to my daughter first.”

Liam stared down at the impossible tiny infant in the isolette. She was so small; she didn’t seem real. There were so many tubes and wires going in and out of her tiny, fragile body that he wept.

The hospital staff in the NICU were understanding and compassionate. They answered all his questions, and he had plenty of them.

He still had so many questions about all of it. Why hadn’t she told him about the baby? Why was she even on the road? Where had she been going? How had Drake gotten there? But most of all, with every fiber of his being he question what kind of a God could do this to him. First his mother, now his wife and maybe his daughter as well. What cruel irony to find her in the same moment he might lose her.

He strode toward the door, “Take me to Captain Walker, please.”

The door to the waiting area swung inward with a creak as a blast of cold air hit him in the face. Drake sat in a chair on the far side of the room, a blank stare on his face, hands clasped in his lap as he leaned forward, unmoving, unseeing.

Liam heard the doctor say, “He’s still in shock.”

Yeah, well, welcome to the club, he thought as he stood in the doorway, “Could you give us the room?”

“Yes, certainly!” Everyone else quickly vacated the area, leaving Liam alone with his childhood companion.

“Drake.”

Drake’s head moved slowly as he drug his eyes over to Liam. He knew. Liam could see it in his eyes, he already knew.

“She’s gone, Li.” He whispered.

“I know.” Liam’s eyes swept over Drake’s rumpled, blood stained clothes. “You were there?”

“Too late. I was too late. There was a wreck. I had to stop; traffic was stuck. I wanted to help, if I could. Then I got close and-“ Anguished sobs chocked off the rest of the sentence.

“So you don’t know where she was going? Why she was on the road? Who she was with?”

Drake’s eyes widened, “They didn’t tell you?”

Liam felt a tendril of dread frission down his spine. “Tell me what?”

It came out barely above a whisper, “Max. She was with Max.”

Cordonian National Hospital, two days later…

Liam sat in the waiting room, twisting a coffee cup in his hand. He was waiting to see Max. The doctors were checking his nerve function or something. They said he might never walk again. Max. Max who loved to move, Max who made him breathless with laughter with his impromptu dance moves, Max who turned backflips on the trampoline, Max who slide down the banister in the fucking palace. It was another cruel irony in a series of cruel ironies.

He'd been in a coma since the accident. A medically induced one, to allow the swelling on his brain to go down. He’d had two surgeries to patch his spial column back together. He’d broken three vertebrae, sustained not one, but two traumatic brain injuries and something called a diffuse axion injury.

They’d removed the vent this morning and weaned him off the propofol. Liam jumped to his feet and started pacing. Again. “Could they take any longer?”

“Liam.” Olivia laid a hand on his shoulder. He looked at her then glanced across the rest of the room. Drake was slumped in a chair in the corner, head tilted back, hand covering his eyes. Bertrand was sitting with his head in his hands. He’s been crying for two days. Savannah rubbed his back and looked mournfully around the room at her brother wishing she could do more for everyone.

Leo and Rashad sat on the other side of the room, quietly conversing about something. Hana sat next to Drake, staring at her lap.

“I’m fine, Liv! I’m sorry, I just-“

“It’s ok, Liam. This is hard. You’re allowed to have feelings about it.”

He just nodded.

The last two days had been a haze of grief and activity. The baby was struggling, a lot. He still hadn’t picked a name. He was leaning toward Eleanor, after his mother. There were constant medical decisions to be made for her and he spent as much time as he could holding her, kangaroo care they called it.

When he wasn’t in the NICU, he was at Max’s bedside, willing him to live. All the while, the immensity of his own grief threated to drown him. It was always there, no matter what other thoughts or concerns occupied his mind. It pushed at the periphery of his consciousness even in his sleep. He woke up in the middle of night with tendrils of dread and horror snaking through his insides and wrapping around his heart.  

He couldn’t face making arrangements for her funeral, so he’d delegated that to Liv, not trusting to Regina to do it right. Regina didn’t know Riley, didn’t love her. Hadn’t. He couldn’t get used to thinking of her in the past tense. His love, his queen, the light of his life. She was everything to him. Had been. Every time he had to adjust his thoughts to the past tense, a knife twisted in his heart. He was never going to be ok.

Her funeral was tomorrow. Her funeral. Riley’s funeral. Those words were so discordant, the impossibility of it still shocked him.

“You can come in now.” A nurse told them, “He’s awake and talking.”

Normally visitors were limited, but no one was willing to tell that to the king, so they all crowded into the room.

Max’s eyes fell on Liam, “Li…”

“Max!” Liam leaned over the bed and embraced him carefully, “I’m so fucking glad to see you awake!”

Bertrand cried again as he greeted his brother, “Never scare me like that again!”

One by one, everyone said their hellos, then a nurse finally shooed most of them out, “Try to keep it to a couple of people at a time.”

Leo, Rashad, Olivia, Hana and Savannah made their way out of the room, leaving Bertrand, Liam and Drake with Max.

“Wreck?” Max asked his brother.

“Yes.” Bertrand verified, “Do you remember?”

Max shook his head, “Not much….Riley….the baby…”

Drake and Liam exchanged a look. Of course he didn’t know. He’d just woken up.

Max’s eyes went to Liam’s, pleading, “Riley?”

Bertrand took Max’s hand in his. Liam took the other as tears started to fall down his face. Again. He had cried so much in the last two days he wasn’t sure how he had any tears left. He was so sick of crying, of grieving, but he didn’t know how to stop doing either.

Drake turned away and leaned his head into the wall, quiet sobs shaking his body.

“I’m sorry, Max.” Liam said softly, “She didn’t make it.”

Max’s face crumpled as he added his own tears to Liam’s and Drake’s.

Bertrand moved away so Liam could hug Max in a full body embrace, the two men clung to each other as their grief poured out. The elder Beaumont excused himself from the room to give them a little privacy and to pour out some grief of his own in his wife’s arms.

Liam had thought the worst of his tears were over, but as he registered the fresh, raw waves of hopeless despair that washed over the man he loved, it hit him again and now he was crying not just for Riley, not just for himself, not just for their child, but for Max as well. Max, who had also just lost everything.

If he could have taken Max’s grief from him, he would have. But he couldn’t, he was too deep in his own, drowning in guilt and self recrimination. Losing himself in all the what ifs and could have beens.

“My fault…mine…” Max sobbed.

“No, no, it was a horrible, terrible, tragic accident, but it was just that, an accident!” Liam tried to comfort him.

“The baby?”

“She’s alive.” Liam told him. It was the most he could give him. He couldn’t say she was fine or that she was going to make it, because he had no idea if those things were true.

Liam wiped at his eyes as he asked, “What were you even doing on the road that day, Max?”

Drake wiped at his own face as he turned back toward Max to hear the answer.

Max answered haltingly. The doctor had warned them that his speech would be slow at first. His brain was still healing, and his throat was swollen and sore from the vent tube. “She wanted….wanted to come….home…to you.”

“What?” Hope sprang into his chest followed quickly by the crushing memory that she was gone, so it didn’t matter.

Max nodded. “I wanted….to call….but….she wanted….to surprise…..you.”

Liam smiled sadly. That sounded like her. But it didn’t answer the other question, “Why didn’t she tell me about the baby?”

“She was… afraid….”

“Afraid? Afraid of what? I don’t understand!”

“Baby….not….yours….”

“Ok, but so what? The baby is yours, why would she think I’d have a problem with that? We discussed the implications of that already, when we had that scare last year-“

Max shook his head, “Not…mine….”

Liam stared at him, thunderstruck, “But….then whose?”

Liam’s eyes followed Max’s to the only other person in the room.

Drake looked from Max to Liam, then back to Max trying to figure out why they were looking at him. Then his face paled, “What?”

“I knew it!” Liam yelled, as he leapt away from the bed and stalked toward Drake, “The night you left Kiara at the altar, you didn’t answer the door for me, but when I got back to my hotel room, Riley was gone! She stayed gone all night and came back the next day destroyed, again! You fucked her then discarded her, didn’t you? Again? Is that what you did?”

“I….”

“Is that what you did?”

“Liam, I didn’t know, I didn’t know…”

“And that makes it ok? Huh?” Liam shoved him, hard, “Does it?”

Drake didn’t try to defend himself; he held his arms out to the side and shook his head as tears ran down his face. “No.”

“You selfish fucking bastard! This is your fault, all of it! If you hadn’t gotten her pregnant then run away, none of this would have happened! She’d be alive, home, at the palace, and Max wouldn’t be laying in that bed paralyzed!”

Drake didn’t even try to defend himself. He stumbled backwards until his back hit the wall, then slid down to the ground, hands over his face and started crying again. Liam was right. It was all his fault. He’d failed her, he’d failed them all, he always failed everybody.

“Li…not…his fault.”

Liam whirled on the man in the bed. “You should have told me!”

“Wasn’t…my secret…to tell.”

“Fuck you, Max! If you would have told me, maybe I could have talked to her, told her that I’d still raise the baby! Maybe she would have come home sooner and then she’d still be alive! You told me you loved me, then you left me! You chose her, and you kept her secrets, secrets that I had every right to know, Max! I had every right!”

“Liam…”

“Fuck you, Max, I’ll never forgive you for this! Either one of you!” Liam slammed out of the room, guilt cutting through him at the harshness of his words. But he was too mad and too hurt to take them back.

Cordonian National Hospital, NICU….

It was early. Too early, but Drake hadn’t slept anyway. He stumbled down the hallway to the one place he hadn’t been yet. He’d been avoiding it, unsure that his fragile emotional state could take it, but after the revelations of the following day, he had to go.

He stood outside the NICU, gazing in at the impossibly small figure in the isolette. She weighed just under a pound and half. She was only eight inches long.

“Well, are you just going to stand there staring, or are you going to go in?”

Drake jumped; he hadn’t heard Liam walk up behind him. “Is that ok? If I go in? I wasn’t sure….”

“Of course it is, Drake.” Liam placed a hand on his shoulder, “She’s your daughter. Come on.”

They entered the nursery together and Liam gave the staff instructions to give Drake unfettered access to the tiny princess.

“Would you like to hold her?” A nurse asked.

“Are you sure that’s ok?” He asked. Her skin looked translucent; paper thin. “She looks like she’ll break if I hold her.”

“She won’t break, you just have to be careful. I’ll show you how.”

Liam lowered himself into a chair across from Drake, “About yesterday. What I said-“

“You don’t have to apologize, Li.”

“I think I do. I was out of line, what I said-“

“Was true. Can we not talk about it?”

“Okay.”

They sat in silence for a long time as Drake stared down into his daughter’s face. “She looks like Riley.” He whispered in awe.

“She needs a name.”

Drake looked up at Liam in surprise, “You want me to name her?”

“She’s your daughter, Drake. So, yes.”

“How is she so perfect and so fragile at the same time? Look at her, she’s so fucking beautiful, like her mother. Is she….is she going to make it?”

“I hope so. She’s a fighter, like her mother.”

“I hope so too.”

“Hope is all we have left now.”

Drake drew in a breath, “What about that?”

“What about what?”

“Hope. For her name?”

“I think it’s perfect.” Liam answered.

“Do you…do you think Riley would have liked it?” Drake asked with a quiver in his voice.

“I do. I think Riley would have loved it.”

“That’s it, then. That’s her name. Hope.”

“I’ll let the hospital staff know. They’ve been calling her Artemis.”

“Artemis?”

“They tell me that NICU nurses give all the babies a warrior name while they’re in here.”

“That’s pretty cool.”

“It is.” Liam said as he rose from his seat, “Are you coming? The funeral starts soon.”

Drake shook his head, “I can’t, Li. I can’t go to the big, public formal one. I’ll come by after, to the private one. Maybe.”

Liam hesitated in the doorway, unsure how to apologize for the hurtful words he’d said the night before. They were all still so raw and grieving. He’d do it later. “See you tonight then.” He said as he slipped out the door.

Fifteen minutes later…

Drake was still in the NICU when the monitors and alarms started to scream.

“What is it? What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry, Captain, you’re going to have to step out of the room so we can work. We’ll update you as soon as we can.”

He stepped backwards into the hallway as the door shut in his face.

Cordonian National Cemetery….

Drake tossed the green duffle bag to the ground next to the grave then sat down beside it. The bag contained the only three items that mattered anymore.

“Hey Brooks. I’m here, too late, as usual. There are so many things I wanted to say to you and now I’ll never get the chance. You were the love of my life and I wasted what little time we could have had together, just fucking wasted it! I spent most of the last two years running from you, from my feelings, from myself….I was such a coward, and I’m so fucking sorry for it. I should have been there! I should have been there!” He pulled his knees up and dropped his head down onto them, muffled sobs wracking his body.

He used his sleeve to clean his face as he told her, “I can’t believe we have a daughter. She’s perfect, Riley but she’s so tiny and fragile and I don’t think she’s going to make it. I should have been there for her, for you.”

He sighed as he tugged the bag closer to him and pulled  out the stack of letters she’d written him while he was in Texas. The letters he’d never read. He’d never read them, but he also hadn’t been able to bring himself to toss them out. He retrieved the bottle of whiskey from the bag next and opened it. He shifted so he was sitting on the grave itself, and leaned back against the cold marble of her headstone. He alternated between drinking and crying as he read, his eyes greedily taking in her words of love and devotion, his hands trembling as he turned the pages. He kept stopping to wipe away the tears that fell onto the pages and smeared the ink.

He knew Riley would want him to go on, she’d want him to be strong for their little girl. But he couldn’t, he just couldn’t. She needed someone better than him looking after her. Someone like Liam, someone like Max. Anyone but him. He would inevitably fail her, just like he’d failed everyone else in his life. His father, his mother, his sister, Liam, Max, hell even Kiara but most importantly, Riley, the only woman he’d ever really loved.

If only he’d come back sooner, if only he’d stayed after their night in Paris, or never left in the first place. She died thinking he didn’t love her and that was something he couldn’t live with, something he didn’t want to live with.

He reached into the bag for the third, and final, item. He pulled the 9mm baretta into his lap. “I will love you until the moment I stop breathing, and after. I’ll never stop.”

He clicked the safety off, put the barrel in his mouth and pulled the trigger.

The Palace…..

There was a knock at the door. Liam lifted his head from the desk. He’d been at his desk drinking since returning from the funeral. There had been a lavish state affair followed by a small gathering of close friends and family. Both had been hell.

“Come in!” He barked at the door. Who the fuck was it and why the hell wouldn’t the world just leave him alone to grieve?

“Sir?” Bastien stepped into the room, his voice shaky, his eyes red rimmed, his demeanor halting, unsure.

“Bas? What is it?” Liam sat up in alarm, suddenly alert despite the late hour and amount of bourbon he’d consumed.

“I’m sorry, Your Majesty, I….” Bastien stopped as tears chocked off his words.

Liam had only ever seen Bas cry one other time, when he had delivered the news of Jackson’s death. There were only so many people Bas cared about like that. His blood ran cold as he sprang up from his desk, “No! No! Bas….. no!”

“I’m so sorry Liam….it’s Drake….he…”

“No, Bas! No! Don’t say it!” He cried out in anguish.

“I’m sorry, he’s…he’s gone…he…” Bastien’s head fell down as a low keening sound issued from his throat.

Liam made his way around the desk and grabbed the older man by the shoulders, “How?” But he already knew how. And why.

“Self inflicted gun shot wound to the head.”

Liam’s knees buckled and he felt himself drop toward the floor, “Nooooooooo! No, no, no, no! Why? When is it enough, God, when?”

The two men’s arms wrapped around each other as they slid to the ground together, holding each other, crying into the other’s shoulders, hands gripping into backs as their hearts broke again.

Cordonian National Hospital…

Max opened his eyes to find Liam standing in his room. Not moving, not talking, just standing there, eyes focused on nothing, swaying slightly. “Liam, what are you doing here? What’s wrong? The baby…..”

“She’s the same. Still fighting. It’s Drake.” His voice broke. His fingers flew up to pinch at the sides of his eyes.

Max’s heart contracted, “What happened? What did he do?”

“He did what he always does.” Liam’s voice was low, bitter, infinitely sad, “he ran away from his problems. Permanently this time.”

“Oh, Liam….no…”

“I said such awful things to him….”

“He knew you didn’t mean it, Li, he knew! I promise you, he knew it was your grief speaking.”

“I said unforgivable things to him, Max! And to you too!” Liam ran to his bedside and slid down to his knees, “I’m sorry, Max, I’m so fucking sorry! It wasn’t your fault, I'm glad she had you for those last few months! She told me once that you were the only one who never hurt her, the one that was always there for her, and I'm glad you were with her, taking care of her when I couldn’t be.”

“Did it…for you too…” Max grunted as he tried to shift positions, but he couldn’t move his lower body, “for…all of us.”

“I know.” Liam crawled into the bed and wrapped himself carefully around Max. “If only I'd let her go, if I hadn't tried to control her. Maybe they were the ones that were meant to be together. I should have let her go after the coronation, she could have married him and they’d both still be here!”

“Liam don't-“

“It's okay Max, I don't need you to make me feel better about it. Telling me that it's not true doesn't help because we both know it is. I did hurt her, I did try to control her, I was jealous and possessive!”

“She loved you.”

“I know!” He pushed his face into Max’s neck as the storm overtook him again.

Two years later……

Liam helped Max out of his wheelchair. He wanted to walk from the paved trail to the gravesite. He had to lean on Liam and use a cane to do it, but he was walking. Just short distances, a few steps at a time, and his balance was still off but he was walking. After three separate stints at the best inpatient neurological rehab units in Europe and over a year of outpatient physical therapy, he was finally walking.

Liam had been with him every step of the way, sitting in on therapy sessions, cheering him on and talking him off the ledge when he’d wanted to give up. They had cried together, grieved their losses together and navigated paralysis together. They’d come out stronger, closer and more in love than ever.  

Liam helped Max sit on the stone bench next to the graves, then he bent and placed flowers on each of them. He spoke as he placed the floral arrangements.

“Riley, love…” He stopped for a brief moment to let a few tears trickle down his face, “We both still miss you so much. I still love you, with my whole heart. It’s not the same without you, my queen. But I’d like to think that you’re smiling down on us, pleased with yourself for bringing us together in the first place.”

He knew he would never have gotten through any of it without Max. It astounded him that Max thought he was the lucky one because Liam had stood by him during his recovery. He was aware that not all relationships survived a partner becoming a paraplegic. They’d done the psychological counseling that came with the physical therapy. It was all important to Max’s recovery they’d told him, so he’d done it. But even if Max had never gotten up out of that wheelchair, Liam knew he was the lucky one. And he had Riley to thank for that.

“Drake. My best friend. My brother. My partner in crime. I don’t think you ever had any idea how loved you were. I don’t think your mom would have made it without the support from Bas. It brought them closer to each other. I think he’s always been in love with her, but she spent so many years grieving your father, she never saw it before. They got married a few months ago, they left an empty seat for you at their table, and one for Sierra. I miss you, more than you could possibly imagine. I wish you would have stayed here with us, healed with us. I won’t say it gets better, the pain is always there, but it does become….manageable. Most days anyway.” Liam had to stop to catch his breath before moving onto the third grave.

“Mom. I know you’re looking out for them. I love you and I miss you. I wish you could have met Riley and Hope. You would have loved them both. Riley wasn’t anything like the woman dad wanted for me, but she was the most amazing, fierce person I’ve ever known. And Hope, well, she’s the light of our lives now. She’s got Max and I both wrapped completely around her little finger!”

Liam turned and waved at the limo on the road. His personal guard, Alec opened the back door of the car and a second guard stepped out. Marco had been Riley’s personal guard. He’d served her loyally right up to the end, then seamlessly transitioned to his new position. He reached back in the limo and pulled his small charge out of the backseat.

He took her little hand in his and walked from the road down the paved trail. When they got close, she pulled her hand from his and sprinted across the hardpacked dirt to Liam and Max. “Daddy! Poppa!”

“Careful!” Liam laughed as he caught her in his arms before she could throw herself into Max’s, possibly toppling him to the ground.

“Sorry!”

“It’s ok littlest blossom!” Max laughed, “You’re just excited, aren’t you?”

“Yes, Poppa.” She replied, nodding her little head as she waved her hand in the air. She was clutching three individual flowers. Liam directed her as she placed one on each grave. She knew who each person was thanks to photos and stories. Liam and Max made a point to make their memories live for her as much as possible.

As Liam walked Hope back to Marco, Max talked, “She’s perfect, Ri, she’s amazing. You would have been such a good mother. She misses you. I know some people think she couldn’t possibly remember you, but I know she does. Not consciously, but you carried her inside your body for six months. She knows you. She remembers you. She loves you. She misses you and so do I. Every fucking day.”

Quiet sobs shook his shoulders as he brushed his tears away, “You were everything I ever wanted in life. You always acted like I was doing you a favor or something by supporting you, but the truth is, it was the greatest honor of my life to be there for you. I’ll never stop being there for you. Now that means being there for your daughter. I only hope I can do half as good a job as I know you would have.”

He had to pause again. He let himself feel the ache, the hollowness that would never be filled. “And Drake….I see you too, every time I look at her. She’s got your hair, your eyes and your tenderness but without the rough exterior to cover it up. I don’t know anything about being a dad. Mine wasn’t really there for me, you’re the one that had the good dad and I know you would have been a great one; I hope I don’t let you down. Either one of you.”

He glanced up to find Liam standing there, hands shoved in his pockets. “Are you ready?”

“Almost.” Max told him, then turning back to the graves, “You’d both be so proud of Liam. He’s an amazing dad and he’s the only reason I kept living after we lost the two of you. I don’t think I’d be walking again if it weren’t for him. I don’t know if I’d be living if it weren’t for him.”

Liam squeezed his eyes shut, remembering his fear and anxiety during those early days, especially after he learned that the leading cause of death for paraplegics during the first five years following paralysis is suicide. He had already lost too much, and he’d fought mightily to keep Max in this world.  

“I think they were looking out for you; I believe that.” Liam helped Max up from the bench, then wrapped an arm around him.

“For both of us, Li.”

“Yeah, and for Hope too.”

“I didn’t mean to make you cry.” Max apologized.

“It’s ok, it’s an emotional day, but we need to get back and get ready for Hope’s birthday party.”

“I’m ready.”

Liam helped Max back to the trail and into his wheelchair. He paused and glanced back at the graves. He swore he could feel them. He turned and walked alongside the wheelchair to the road.

If he could have seen through the veil between the worlds, he would have seen Riley and Drake standing there, watching them walk away, hands entwined with each other, smiling at them with love and approval.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[tangylemonade]

I already rebloged this but I needed a second reblog to go on about how much I LOVE this. It is so perfect from the banter to writing style, ugh I adored it all. I love the way Minho freaking sounds just like himself like omg so immersive, not to mention how lovely and relatable to me y/n’s voice is in this as well. Exquisitely written smut, so tasteful and hot paired with perfect and natural dialogue. All in all this is one of my all time favorite smuts I’ve read, idk something about it being a random Tuesday night read is so therapeutic. Thank you 😊

So well done! You’ve go yourself a new fan ♥️

— make a wish

pairing: minho x fem!reader genre: smut, fluff, established relationship. content: 18+ minors dni. warnings below cut. word count: 3.9k

summary: it’s your boyfriends birthday. you can’t afford to get him much—so you offer him a small coupon book of favours. he cashes in immediately.

a/n: reupload bc of shadowban mess, i’m sorry! thank u so much to everyone who read and gave me feedback the first time, love u for it ❤︎︎

Keep reading

[phoenixrising0308]

Unenchanted: Tennessee Honey

The Pencil Chronicles- Series premise: This series was inspired by Long Hand Trope Pencils (Special thanks for the extra pencils!). The pencils have a phrase that can be a prompt or a line from a show or book. I wanted a random A/U where anything is possible and, so that’s what I have with this series (TPC). SO take what you know and throw it out the window. Anything goes in this series. It is a canon divergent series for any book I write about. My character personalities remain the same as do the ones I write from Pixelberry in the manner I write their canon character. It could be any character, any pairing, any scenario. I will go where the pencil leads. Catch up with everything here

Detailed disclaimer

Scenario/Timeline: The day of the UN Gala. Drake and the MC go to her hotel room for drinks.

Pencil Chronicle Prompt/Theme: “Hi, Guys! I’m broken”

A/N: So I’m doing a few prompts for this story, and they appear in bold throughout the story.

Wacky drabble prompt(s): #83 “That makes my [Body part tingle].”,#84 “Just keep moving.”,#85 “Do you want me to leave., and #86 “Have you lost your mind.”

Ask prompt: #34 “Why can’t you see that I’m in love with you?” #40 “Are you implying that you want to kiss me?”

Triggers: 🍋

Chapter Song inspiration: Tennessee Whiskey

Word count: 1,562 *As always, forgive my typos and, grammatical errors.*

Reading time: 12 minutes

Jewels by David L - New York

Jessica huffed and said, “Can we get this going here?”

The jeweler apologetically said,” I’m sorry, I don’t mean to cause you any more stress. We were polishing it.”

The sales clerk smiled at them and said, “SO, are you ready for your big day?”

Jessica eyes got wide; she was ready to explode. She was quiet for most of the day, but he knew she reached her tipping point.

Drake put his arm around and said, “The future Mrs. and I are-”

Jessica pushed his hand away and shouted, “Fuck it! Listen, I’m not okay. I’m picking up the wedding band for my boyfriend’s fiancé. JUST GIVE ME THE FUCKING RING, OKAY!”

Everyone in the store turned around, paying attention to Jessica’s outburst.

Jessica continued her rant as Drake began to cringe at the spectacle. “Let me just shout it for the people on the back. I’m the mistress!”

Drake shouted, “Garcia!”

Hi, guys! I’m broken. I love punishing myself. Oh, I’m stopping you from shopping? “Do you want me to leave!?”

Drake shouted, “Jessica, have you lost your mind!?”

A woman said, “Geezus.”

Jessica ignored him and turned her attention to the woman and said, “Fuck you. Just keep it moving; you’re getting your happy ending!”

Drake tapped the glass. “Give me the fucken ring. Just give me the fucken ring.”

Jessica snatched the box from the jeweler and said in a sarcastic tone, “I bet it beautiful and wonderful and has some beautiful perfect LiamISH detail.” Jessica opened the box and looked at the dull, uneventful ring. She scoffed, “Well, it certainly is basic, and well, Madeleine is a basic bitch, so it suits her. BUT it doesn’t matter what I think, At the end of it all, they will go off into the sunset, AND they live happily fucken after!”

“Jessica, please calm the fuck down. Out of all the shit you went through this is the moment you pick to meltdown in public? You know somehow this is better than at the UN gala.”

“I’m gonna dick punch Constantine TONIGHT. I’ve had enough! You know what Liam, Madeleine will probably starfish you, and well you like vanilla. SO ENJOY YOUR VANILLA SEX LIFE. Your gonna be think about my -”

The sales clerk let out an exaggerated gasp.

Drake shouted drowning Jessica out, “JESSICA, let’s get the fuck out of here. Let’s just have a drink.”

Baccarat Hotel -

Jessica’s hotel room balcony

Drake sat across from Jessica and poured her a drink, and handed it to her. Jessica walked over to the stone siding of the enclosure and pressed her rear end against it. She placed her plump plum lips to the rim of the and tossed her head back, taking it all at once. “Man, that makes my throat tingle. But it’s still smooth.”

‘Her lips are perfect. Fuck.’

Drake put his empty tumbler down; he smiled at her and said, “Jack Daniels… Tennessee Honey. Jessica, don’t go to the gala. We can just hang out and talk here.”

Jessica poured herself another drink and said, “You know Drake, you have been calling me Jessica a lot today. It feels nice.”

‘She noticed. Time to come clean.’

Drake poured himself another drink; he took a gulp and set it down, then said, “I have been hoping that you would fucken see me.”

Jessica looked at him, puzzled at his comment, “I’m looking right at you, and I’m not fucken drunk.”

“Jessica, I want you to look at me the way you look at him.”

“Drake, are you-”

Drake took the rest of his drink and set it down on the table, and stood up. “Why can’t you see that I’m in love with you?”

Jessica eyes got wide, and she said, “Drake, you’re in love with me? How long?”

His eyes averted; hers he was shocked at his very own outburst, saying aloud the words he held inside of himself for months. “In Italy, I wanted to cross that line with you. For months, I wanted you to look my way. Liam, doesn’t fucken deserve you. I want to. I want to try.”

Drake walked over to where Jessica was standing, held her face in his hands. She chewed her lip and said, Are you implying that you want to kiss me?” Drake took a deep breath and, in a low husky whisper, said, “Fuck yes.” He pressed his lips against hers, and she opened her mouth. Their tongues coiled and mingled and meet each other in the center like they should have been kissing each other for years.

Jessica dropped the tumbler on the floor and ran her hands through his hair as they kissed, closing her eyes and completely melting into him. There so much longing in his kiss she felt it in the pit of her stomach he was awakening something inside her. His kiss sent shivers down her spine as she held onto him. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her in closer, so they were flush against one another. “I want you,” he mumbled against her lips, an excited and fond look in his eyes. Jessica hesitated for a moment. Should they be doing this? She wasn’t sure, but the idea of how good it would feel was clouding any doubt she had about the situation. Jessica didn’t know what this was, but she wanted to explore it. So, she nodded, taking a deep breath and holding onto him.

Drake’s hands traveled to the small of her back as he said, “Just give me one night with you.” Jessica didn’t respond, and they continue kissing; Drake traced the shape of her ass with his hands before put lifted her dress dipped his hands in her lace underwear. He slowly moved his hand down to rub at her clit, making her moan out and arch her back. Drake got on his knees and gently lifted her left leg over his shoulder, his hand his “You feel so good,” he mumbled. He did not know how they survived without touching each other like this; she felt it too somehow; they were spending a lot of time with each other, and part of her resented Liam for even considering the option of a Cordonian arrangement. She could feel his desperation even more after a few moments went by. Her leg wrap around his neck and his hand holding her thigh to spread her legs giving him deeper access and it became more intense.

“You taste like honey,” Drake mumbled, slowly letting two fingers enter her. She sighed at the feeling, tilting her head back with a bit of groan. He also leaned down to lick at her clit, the two sensations overwhelming her. Her body jerked as she let out a little cry, her body pleasantly warm with pleasure. His two fingers started moving, crooking the spot that she wanted him to hit most. It was already so much.

He fingered her for only a bit before he took his fingers out and licked them. He then focused more on his skilled tongue work, looking up at her with clouded eyes. Jessica burying her fingers into his hair. “Fuck, oh my god, Drake!” she moaned out; her body was on fire. Jessica was dripping on herself, her nectar covering his mouth and her thighs. She felt close, warning him with a whine. He pulled away, making her gasp and groan.

“I want to be inside of you when you cum,” Drake said quickly, picking her up and taking her to the bed. She chewed on her bottom lip, leaning up to kiss at his neck as he hovered over her. They undressed each other, Jessica taking off his jacket and Drake taking off her soft dress. Drake tossed their clothing aside in favor of their desperation. “I want you so bad,” Drake groaned, grinding down onto her. “Let me show you how much I’ve wanted you,” he mumbled, pressing his thumb down onto her bottom lip gently, taking a moment to look at her as he slowly lined up with her and pushed forward, both of them gasping and then moaning out at the sensation of filling and being filled.

“Oh god,” Jessica moaned, looking up at him. Drake smiled and let out a moan in the back of his throat. She could see that he was holding back from moving immediately, pausing inside of her so she could get used to the feeling. Jessica, buck up her hips a little and tightening around him to encourage him to move. He ended up moving with a groan, closing his eyes and starting his thrusts.

They both groaned, Jessica, panting as he buried himself inside of her over and over again. “FUCK DRAKE,” Jessica gasped, holding onto him. Drake leaned down, caressing her cheek somehow even through his thrusts. He still was not going too fast to saver the moment she gave herself to. He happy to have this moment, this single moment of bliss with her, but if this was it for them, he wanted to make sure they could remember it.

Drake’s speed picked up, and he reached down to rub at her clit again. After being edged once, she was close. Her body felt positively electric as she moved closer to her climax. She was so warm, both with fondness and with her body heat rising so much. He continuously toyed with her clit, leaning down to give her a passionate kiss as she fell over the edge. Pleasure erupted through her body in a blind wave as she gasped against his lips, pulling away in favor of crying out in bliss. Her body jerked, and her head fell back, the tightening caused by her orgasm pushing him over the edge. His thrusts stilled as he buried himself deep inside of her, leaning over her with a loud groan of her name.

Originally published on 3.21.21 and transitioned to this URL on 10.21.22 by the original author. -J

[lemony-snickers]

some things i am working on:

🍋 mix and match event requests -   these have been going much slower than i’d like, but i am hoping to work through the remaining 20ish requests before the end of the month.

kakashi week prompts for september -   i have a concept for each day (and a very special collaboration for one of them!), but i still need to really sit down and start writing.

nice to meet you final chapter -   just one word for y’all: S P I C E.  i know you’ve been patiently waiting for it, my dears, and i promise this last chapter will finally deliver on some of that.

a spooky fic for another fandom -   this is a weird-o concept i've been trying to flesh out and i really need to buckle down and work harder at it.

the next chapter of my long-running oc fic -   ngl, y’all, i have been majorly slacking on this fic. it’s super long and very intimidating and i need to really push through this part to get to the stuff i’ve had written for ages and been waiting to share since i started, lol. rip my other pseud, i’m sorry i’ve been neglecting you.  i just don’t get the feedback i’d like there and so it’s easier to just come here instead.

lol, wrote a big ol’ fanfic/fandom rant, but then deleted it because it legit doesn’t matter.

anyway, this is mostly just a post to hold myself accountable to myself.  hope y’all are having a good day.  <3  

[honeymaki]

i've been better, hoping to move soon for unrelated reasons so that's the high I'm rolling off of right now, had tootie frooties for the first time in years and ate an entire bag then cried because my best friend couldn't hang out with me today

sorry for the mini rant lol s nice talking to people <3

-🍋

You can always talk to me baby! M always here for you(●´ω｀●) that’s so exciting that your moving! I hope it all goes well for you nd I hope everything works out good. As for the sweeties? Baby, it’s okay, I did get your other ask nd I do understand how you feel, RSD is a difficult thing to deal with and if there’s anything I can do to help, please let me know 🥺 m glad you’re hear lemon, I really like you 💕💕