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loveshotzz · 1 year ago

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All I Really Want Is You

older!neighbor!widower! steve x fem!reader chap six/ten - a slow burn series of blurbs - updated every wednesday

I Don’t Know You, But I Want To

summary: Sometimes curiosity has consequences.

wc: 2.8k

warnings: 18+ series for future chapters, mentions of death, hints on how Steve’s wife died, bouts of self consciousnesses.

authors note: sorry guys, you knew this chapter had to happen. i promise i’ll make up for it! enjoy a few more easter eggs from @carolmunson ‘s orange colored sky in here. I’ve had so much fun talking about these two old men’s friendship with you!

🌇 <- chapter five -> chapter seven

The Masterlist / The Playlist / The Tune:

End of June

You didn’t realize when Steve asked you to water his plants, that he meant in just three short days after the almost kiss in his kitchen. The opposite schedules the two of you seem to always work made it so you hardly got a glimpse of him before he and Bandit disappeared to Starved Rock for what you learned was their annual camping trip.

The Good Morning Tough Girl texts started the next day after your number exchange, waking you up with a kaleidoscope of butterflies twisting and turning in your stomach and a smile so big it made your cheeks hurt. It helped you get over only getting to physically see him one time through your living room window before he left. Your phone had vibrated at your feet while you watered your now flourishing Ivy thanks to the new curtains you were proud to say were installed by yourself. You chanced a glance down at your lit up screen, his name flashing with a text that said: How’d I never realize how pretty my view is from the front yard?

The corners of your mouth twitched, flames licking underneath your cheeks when your eyes caught his out your window. The big dopey smile that took over his face made you giggle as he waved eagerly, dressed nice like he had been the morning you ran into him last week. You wiggled your fingers, biting your bottom lip at the way his dark navy button up looked tucked into the waist of his black slacks. The leather belt looked nicer than the last one, the silver of the buckle blinding in the setting sun. His hair was freshly done, free of any signs of those big hands of his. The stubble on his jaw was gone again, but you learned that was never for very long.

Another buzz: Going to dinner with a client, wish it was fish tacos with you instead.

Steve feels like he won the lottery when he can see the way your face lights up from his spot in his front yard. Eddie’s voice rings loudly inside his head, sticking to every single one of his negative thoughts like glue telling him it’s okay and he finally starts to believe it, especially when he gets a text back from you.

Maybe next time 😉

It’s thunderstorming the day you go over, the key tucked away in a lockbox by his door. He gave you access by texting the code the night before with a promise to take you to dinner as a thank you when he got back. The nerves that dance inside you feel like they did the first time you came here when you stand in front of the stained glass of his front door even though he’s five hours away.

It’s quiet, the lively energy from a few nights ago gone with the man. The cedar of his candle still lingers thick in the air and you can’t help but inhale deeply. It smells like him. You leave your shoes and umbrella on his front porch, closing the door gently like you were scared to wake someone up. The pattering of the rain on his windows fills the silence, your shoulders dropping in the serenity. Pulling your phone from your back pocket you look through your texts with the list of the rooms the plants were in.

Only three — his office and living room on the first floor and his bedroom on the second.

The coffee white oak floors creak under your socked feet as you take your first apprehensive steps past the entryway. He left the watering can on the kitchen island just like he said he would, your skin pebbles when you’re brought back to the last time you were in here. The sun fights to shine through the thick storm clouds outside, making the lighting that bleeds through his windows soften everything up. The water from the sink hits the metal of the can, mixing perfectly with the rain.

You wish he was here.

The can is heavy in your hands when you stop at the doorway of the living room, the contents inside sloshing around and daring to spill onto his floor. You curse under your breath with a pause to take in the room you only got a glimpse of before. There’s an electric fireplace, tall black steel that takes up most of the wall next to the sliding glass door that leads to his small backyard.

Two large beige area rugs cover most of the wood floors in here, a cream frayed trim lining them. Bandit’s bed sits big, fluffy and dark brown nestled by the fireplace, giving him a perfect view out the window. Strands of his lighter hairs leave behind evidence that this might be his favorite spot in the house. A woven basket filled with various chew toys that look freshly tossed in isn’t very far from it. The rain comes down harder but you can still see the spots of lime green littering the grass where the rambunctious German shepherd left his tennis balls. Spoiled.

The cognac color of his leather couch set is rich, and it shines even in the dim lighting like it was freshly lotioned. It looks like the kind of comfortable where the cushions mold against the weight of your body - soft, inviting, the one in the middle looking a little more worn in than the rest. This must be Steve’s favorite spot.

Your eyes meet the 65” TV mounted to the wall in front of it and realize why. The coffee table matches the dark color of the floors. The candle that was the culprit for the smell of his house sitting in the middle next to three remotes lined perfectly next to each other.

There’s a long, taller companion table that sits at the other doorway that leads back out to the landing of his staircase. Framed pictures, bottles of various liquors of all shades and crystal cocktail glasses cover the top of it.

What does he think of your place?

You try to push the intrusive thought down as you make your way to the lush Monstera plant that sits in a white pot on top of wooden legs next to the sliding glass door. Its leaves hang heavy, clearly taken care of. The deep emerald of it reminds you of what Steve’s eyes look like sometimes. The soil takes what you give it greedily, barely leaving enough for the few smaller plants that rest on shadow shelves along his gray walls. A few of them make you stand on your tiptoes to reach.

Curiosity wins on your way to refill the can, crossing the room to look at the framed pictures. You aren’t surprised when you see one of Eddie and Bandit as a puppy, it looks like the first day they brought him home. Eddie’s dimples show in a bright smile as he looks at the camera with Bandit’s big bubble gum pink tongue pressed sloppily against a clean shaven cheek.

The other is of Steve and a curly haired boy at a college graduation, they both look like they were caught in the middle of laughing at something. You can’t help your own smile when you look at it. Steve looks a little younger, a little less gray in his hair like it had only just started. He’s wearing wire rim glasses, and that crisp white dress shirt you like him in so much. He looks happy.

The last one is of Steve and Bandit. A selfie taken at sunrise, Bandits tongue sticks out and you swear he’s smiling just like his handsome owner that has him pulled against his side. A part of a tent peaks over his shoulder and you wonder if this is where they’re at right now.

You’re hit with the smell of his cologne when you open his office door, your thighs pressing together when you imagine him sitting in the big black leather chair behind an even bigger, matching colored desk. Glass cased baseball memorabilia takes space on one of his walls, along with plaques of achievements from his job. There’s framed pictures of him shaking hands of baseball players you couldn’t name, but you’re sure a normal person who liked sports could. There’s a tall bookshelf on the other side of the room. The spines all glossed, bright bold wording of sports memoir’s, marketing guides, and what looks like college course advertising books.

The floor of this room is carpeted with the same color as the area rugs in his living room. Your footsteps are a little more careful as you try not to spill any water on it as you make your way to the three hanging spider plants in the window that overlooks his front yard.

Your nose catches a hint of the cigars you know he smokes as you get closer to his desk. He must keep them in here. A silver closed MacBook sits on top of it, another baseball — only this one is signed and kept safe in a glass case. There's a Polaroid of Bandit with a cubs hat on his head with a laughing Peach barely visible behind him. The obvious closeness of the three of them makes you realize how much he let you into his world the other night.

A world where he wanted to kiss you.

You curse under your breath when you almost spill water on the carpet, too lost in realization of what this could be.

When you reach your final destination on the second floor, you stop at his closed door. Your hand hovers over the knob, heart hammering so hard in your chest like he was waiting for you on the other side. Taking a deep breath through your nose, you exhale through your lips - willing your nerves to give you mercy. There’s a soft click when you turn the knob and the quietest noise from the hinges when you push it open.

The crisp white of his fluffy duvet that covers his king size bed, mutes the gray of his walls. The olive green throw at the end of it that matches the area rug under the bed, the warmth of the color relaxes your senses. Your breathing evens out, your heart rate slows down.

There’s another dog bed at the foot of his that matches the one downstairs and you wonder how often Bandit really sleeps in this one at night. The lack of hair on it compared to the other one tells you not very often. Your cheeks tingle fiercely when you see the mirror you got a glimpse of his bare chest through, your eyes quickly finding the bathroom he had come out of.

“Jesus Christ,” you grumble to yourself, trying to push back the memory while standing alone in his bedroom.

There’s another Monstera by his window that you can see your bedroom out of. The last one on the list. You have to pass by another large dresser on your way, even more pictures sit on top of it, taking up the space that was left next to a cherry wood watch box. Another cedar candle sits behind the framed pictures, the scent lingering in the air despite not being lit.

The plants take what’s left in the watering can, and you peek out the window just to see what he sees. The navy curtains you’d hung up are half open giving you a perfect glimpse into your room, the pile of dirty laundry you plan to do after this perfectly visible. You gulp audibly.

The can swings loosely in your hand when you walk to the dresser, a smirk already forming on your lips at the thought of what these ones will tell you about him. Your eyes land on one of him in between Eddie and Peach on what seems to be their wedding day, both of them placing sloppy kisses on either cheek. The big dopey grin face doesn’t hide the tear stains. The White Chapel sign behind them tells you it’s Vegas, and the way Steve is dressed as a much sexier Elvis only confirms your suspicions.

Next to that one is a picture of Steve, only he looks really young- fresh out of high school young. Biting your lip into a smile at the volume of his hair, he’s leaning against a maroon BMW with pants so tight you're sure they made all the girls flustered. You shake your head with a roll of your eyes before taking in the brown curly haired girl sticking her head out of the back seat window. Another girl with honey waves pushing her head out in the small space next to her, you swear you can hear the giggles that are so evident on their faces.

Thunder cracks loudly outside, bringing you back with a jump. You’re dreading the short walk home. You glance out the window wearily before bringing your attention back to the little bit of Steve scattered over the top of his dresser. Then you see it. You see her.

The frame that holds the picture is silver, the words ‘always and forever’ etched across the bottom. It’s taken somewhere tropical and Steve looks like he’s your age in it, his jaw somehow sharper, his hair blonder. His smile is so big it shows all of his teeth, a bright yellow short sleeve button up that makes his skin look golden. The top two buttons undone revealing the chest hair you’d gotten a few glimpses of. He’s glowing.

She’s just as beautiful, big bright green eyes and dark chestnut hair that falls in effortless curls down to her chest. They look natural, like she didn’t have to do it herself. She’s tucked into his side in what looks like seats in the back of a boat, the coral dress that flows over the curves of her body makes your stomach turn. The big rock on her hand rested purposefully on his chest tells you exactly what this picture is.

Jealousy twists green in a tight knot inside of you, guilt you weren’t expecting makes you feel nauseous when you see what’s hanging off the corner of the frame. A dark teal rubber bracelet with the words Team ALS Chicago 2022 in white font.

Lightning flashes white hot, making something gleam and catch in the corner of your eye from his watch box. Taking a closer look, the tightening of your chest at what you find makes the air leave your lungs all at once when you see their wedding rings tucked in between the soft white cushions inside the box.

The reality of the situation hits you like a ton of bricks. Steve had a whole life before he met you. A life with someone beautiful, someone he didn’t fall out of love with, someone who didn’t break his heart, someone who, if things were different he’d still be with.

If you moved next door in that reality, you’d just be someone he’d maybe wave to from time to time, not paying any mind to the thirty year old girl already suffering through a midlife crisis next door. The girl who moved to the city with no friends and no plan. The college drop out. The opposite of the well put together woman that belonged hanging off his chest like that, with a ring on her finger that could pay off your credit card debt and then some.

How can you compete with a ghost? The nagging feeling that you’ll always be second best already stings and he hasn’t even picked you yet.

You try to blink away the tears that threaten to spill out, feeling stupid for being this upset over what started off as a silly crush, it really shouldn’t hurt this much. The cedar that comforted you feels like it's suffocating now. Like he’s here. The thought of bringing the watering can down doesn’t even cross your mind when you leave it on the dresser to make your escape.

The breath that comes out through trembling lips is shaky, still, you're proud of the fact that you haven’t cried yet.

Tough girl.

When you open the front door, it's windier than when you first got here, the sun starting its disappearing act for the moon. It makes the summer storm match the one brewing inside of you. You shove your feet into your shoes before pulling the door shut behind you. You lock the key back into the box, before grabbing your umbrella. Your vision goes blurry but you don’t give into it, telling yourself it’s stupid to be so upset. The buzz of your phone in your back pocket is what stops you from taking the first step off his porch.

Steve

Found a spot with some service on our hike, just wanted to check in. Hope you got into the house okay. Bandit says he misses you.

The dam that you’d worked so hard to build breaks, tears falling down your face like the rain falling from the sky. You sniffle, wiping your cheeks with the back of your hand before you reply to him for what you tell yourself is the last time. It’ll hurt less like this, it’s better for both of you this way. At least that’s what you try to tell yourself before you hit send.

Plants are watered 👍

beta’d by: @superblysubpar

dividers by @newlips

chapter seven

#my writing #steve harrington #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington series #steve harrington slow burn #steve harrington angst #steve harrington fanfic #older!steve harrington #older!steve #all i really want is you series #Spotify

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itsnathateasy · 5 days ago

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Cosying up with Armin after a busy day

word count: 1,2k || ao3 link! warnings: suggestive content, boob touching, armin and reader are 24+, armin’s kinda tipsy author’s note: heavily inspired by this piece of art! (it gave me so many unholy thoughts that won’t be included in this particular post)

⭑😴⭒ . ✦ 🌛 . ⁺ . 🌇 ✦ 🌇 . ⁺ . ✦ 🌜 . ⭒😴⭑

20:45. Another evening spent on your chair, crouched up in the most uncomfortable position, yet somehow the only position that kept you focused on the various tasks that still waited to be completed. You didn’t even realise how late it’d actually been, had your boyfriend, Armin, not just walked inside after going out for beers with his friends. You sat back straight the moment you heard his keys turning in the lock, and stretched.

“Y/n, I’m home!” you heard him call as he stepped inside, stumbling once. “Brought your snacks too!”. You stood up from your chair, eager to finally wrap your arms around him. “Hi, Armin!” you hugged him as you greeted him, not minding his hands that were full of grocery bags or his red, drowsy eyes. “Did you and the boys have a good time? Hope you didn’t drink too much?” you questioned. “It was great, y/n! Too bad you didn’t join us! Ymir was also with us tonight, she asked about you. Said you owe her pancakes or something?” He hugged you back as best as he could, careful not to hurt you with any of the bags, avoiding to respond to the drinking question. “Let me put these away real quick and then we can cuddle properly, yes?” “I’ll help!” you were quick to offer. “Can’t let my man carry all the load, can I?” You both chuckled and Armin nodded. “Go, go, go!” Armin almost yelled in a cute way.

You were almost done putting everything away, Armin sharing about his day at work and his evening out or how he almost didn’t make it to the cashier’s on the way home because the store was about to close, hiccuping occasionally as he spoke. Not to mention he was extremely cute in his tipsy state. As he moved from the cupboard to where you kept the recycling bin, you heard him huff. “Hell no, y/n!” he turned back at you with the most disapproving look on his face. Your mind was racing with what might’ve been wrong as you moved closer to him, placing a soft hand on the side of his arm, grabbing it slightly. “What’s wrong, Armin? What did I do wrong?”. He took a step further from you, crossing his arms over his chest, sighing. “Are you for real? We discussed you overworking yourself, you said you’d cut down on *hic* it!” he explained, raising an eyebrow and the tone of his voice. You knew he wasn’t really scolding you, just taking care of you. You found yourself staring at the tiled floor, knowing you’d made him worry about you once again. “I know, Armin. I can’t escape you even when you’re half drunk… I’m sorry but you know how these things are… They really can’t wait… How did you even know?” you questioned, yet Armin only chuckled. “You really need to get some rest, y/n. I don’t need to be an investigator to know you’ve been working late, your laptop’s screen is still on and I can tell by the layout that the tab is hm… The business manager?” he said, tapping a finger on his chin, acting as if he’d put too much thought into this. Sighing, you put your hands up, admitting your defeat. “Guilty as charged, private Arlert” you walked closer to him, arms still in the air, before landing on his shoulders. “I really want this charity event to go well. So many people have worked their butts off for this and it’s due in a few days. Please forgive me by cuddling with me on the couch, while I type some final emails?” He raised his eyebrow at you, again. “How many emails, y/n?” he asked. “Only three of four. I’ll schedule them for tomorrow morning and then I promise to lock the laptop in the washing room. Deal?” you extended your hand for a handshake. Armin was a sucker for formalities, especially when he’d had an extra drink. “Deal” and shook your hand.

Cuddled up on the couch, Armin stayed true to his promise to let you type some final emails. Soon, you found yourself getting more and more tired, the warmth from Armin’s body and the blanket setting the perfect temperature for bed time. “Y/n, I can’t really stay up much longer… The effect of four beers in a row… Are you almost done?” he questioned as he fastened his arms around your body, resting his head on top of your shoulder. “It’s the final email, I promise Armin. Also, four beers? What was the occasion?” “None in particular… Just felt like it. Jean kept talking about him and Pieck and that got me thinking about you and me and I don’t know… I thought “one more beer” about a thousand times”. He nuzzled up against your shoulder, his right hand trailing off between your thighs. You almost jumped at the sudden touch, looking back at a lid eyed Armin. “Armin! You promised to let me finish this!” “You also promised not too take long!” he complained, pulling his hand away from your private parts. He huffed and huffed, yet you paid him no attention. You were only a few minutes away from finally shutting down for the night, when you felt Armin’s warm hands reach beneath your t-shirt and moving upwards to cup both of your breasts. “Armin, I-” but he shushed you in an instant. “Hush, y/n, please don’t say no? I won’t do anything too much, I just… Need to touch you… The girls feel like they’re needing a massage too”. He said, placing a gentle kiss on your shoulder.

You sighed, but gave in. “The girls?” you chuckled. Something about his sleepy, raspy voice as he said those words was doing the trick for you. Armin proceeded to cupping your breasts, giving them soft squeezes, massaging them, rubbing them in tiny circles around themselves. “You’re too good to me, y/n” he said in a low tone, his hot breath brushing the nape of your neck as he pressed one more kiss on your silky skin. “You’re driving me out of my head, Armin, just… Let me finish this real quick” you kept typing away before finally hitting the scheduling options, setting your email to go off early in the morning and relaxing into Armin’s embrace. “I can help you finish later too, if you want...” he whispered, nose brushing against your skin, his slender fingers were now slightly pinching your nipples, making you squirm. “Don’t you need to get up early tomorrow, Armin? What about that meeting you told me about the other day?” You questioned, his hands still firmly on you, not letting your boobs catch a breath. “I’ll manage” he stated, pinching your nipples once more before fully letting his body rest against yours. You savoured every moment of Armin’s massage, his soft movements taking off the pressure of your busy day, until it slowly… Stopped. You turned your neck as far back as you could, attempting to take a look at your boyfriend, who had, apparently fallen asleep on your shoulder, hands still cupping your breasts. “I’ll help you finish later” you said in a high pitched voice, mocking his previous enthusiasm. “Come on baby, time for bed!” you said softly as Armin stirred from behind you.

HE WAS SO EEPY!!!

#snk #shingeki no kyojin #aot #attack on titan #armin arlert #armin aot #armin x reader #aot x reader #armin arlert x reader #armin arlert x you #aot x you #armin au #armin arlert au #armin arlert fanfiction #armin arlert x y/n

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sanjoongie · 7 months ago

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𝕎𝕖𝕥𝕕𝕒𝕪

🌇Pairing: Song Mingi x Reader (f)

🌇Genre: smut, pwp

🌇Au: Non-idol au

🌇Trope: established relationship

🌇Warnings: sub! reader, dom! mingi, oral (f), finger (f), squirting (f)

🌇Rating: 18+, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

🌇Word Count: 225

🌇Summary: mingi wants to try to make you squirt

🌇divider by @cafekitsune

🌇Tongueday | Masterlist | Thirstday

"Mingi," You whine his name desperately, your hand holding onto one of his ringed fingers while the other hand works in and out of your hole.

Mingi raises his head from between your legs, face covered in your slick. “Hold on, Babe, I know I can do this.”

Your head falls back onto the pillow and you start to whimper again. If Mingi’s face wasn’t half hidden from lapping at your clit, you would have seen him smirking at the noises you were making.

All it had taken was one clip from a porn he was watching, and Mingi declared he wanted to make you squirt. It had made your face heat up at the mention of it but after the hour or so he had spent getting you off, you weren’t one to complain.

Your legs close around Mingi’s head and he knows he’s finally getting somewhere. Your voice crescendos and then finally you both find the release you’re seeking.

Mingi sticks his tongue out somewhat vulgarly, letting your wetness squirt onto his tongue, ringed fingers still moving in and out of you, lapping up at the moment.

“Oh my god,” You say, casting an arm over your face, “That was--”

“We’re doing that again,” Mingi says with a boyish grin on his face and you find that you can’t deny him that pleasure.

#pirateeznet: thirst week #pirateeznet #cultofdionysusnet #song mingi smut #ateez smut #mingi smut #atz smut #song mingi x reader #topaz's work #ღatz

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dmitriene · 1 year ago

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— embrace of serenity.

᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ «i've been waiting so long»

᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ «to be where i'm going»

᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ «in the sunshine of your love»

summary: his life was hard enough and you found a way to soothe his soul. content: retired id leon kennedy x gn reader tags: pure fluff, comfort, established relationships, domestic life, mentions of trauma, age gap, kisses, hugs. author's note: back with the fluff for all of you, and big thank's to my lovely @roseglazedlens (you should check her masterpieces) that gave me the main idea of the retired leon, so hope you'll like this work. enjoy your reading) 🌇

Leon Kennedy has spent a lifetime traveling through dangerous landscapes, facing unspeakable horrors and facing darkness that often lingers in the shadows, years as an agent imprinted in his eyes, weariness seeped into his very soul.

The idea of a vacation had always been a distant dream, an unattainable oasis he dared not approach, the weight of his duties chaining him to a life of constant vigilance, a life in which he was always on the edge, ready to fight any threat that arose.

And then you appeared, like a gentle breeze in the midst of a storm, your presence in sharp contrast to the chaos he was used to, your bright smile and warm heart were a balm to his wounded spirit, in your company he found solace that he did not even know he had.

Your kindness and sincere nature was the calm he longed for, with you he could let his guard down and allow himself to breathe, your laughter was a soothing melody that chased away the echoes of gunshots that still haunted his mind, as if your very existence was a beacon of light in dark corners of his heart.

But, despite the bond that blossomed between you, obstacles had to be overcome, the age difference of only ten years seemed to Leon an insurmountable abyss, years of deprivation prematurely aged him and he was afraid that he could burden you with his luggage, the ghost of his past hung heavily between you, an unspoken reminder of the darkness he carried.

His missions continued, distracting him from you for long periods of time, the separation became a harsh reminder of the life he led, a life in which danger lurked around every corner, time spent together became a precious commodity, and moments of intimacy and connection were often fleeting.

The gulf between you seemed like an inevitable consequence of his choice.

In those moments when he returned, weariness was reflected in every line of his face, these days he held you especially close, his grip was almost desperate, his eyes, haunted by memories that he rarely shared, looked for understanding in your gaze, confirmation of that that you are still here and waiting for him.

And you were.

Your arms gave him the warmth and security he so desperately needed, and your heart of true love gave him shelter from the storm that raged within him.

There were nights when the silence between you was heavy, weighed down by the weight of unspoken fears, the difference in age, the scars of the past, the constant danger — they all conspired to create a gap that seemed impossible to bridge, but you were not one to be contained.

You saw a man beyond the darkness, a heart that yearned for a break, a chance to be loved unconditionally.

It was you who confronted him, gently but firmly urging him to recognize his worth.

᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌᠌ ᠌᠌༶୨♡୧༶

The tension in the room that day was palpable, the air filled with unspoken words, Leon sitting on the couch, his gaze fixed on a spot on the floor, as if he could find solace on a worn carpet.

You stood by the window, watching the sunlight play on the leaves outside, collecting your thoughts before you spoke, it was a conversation that had been brewing for some time, a conversation that had to take place.

Finally you turned to face him, your voice soft but determined — «Leon, we need to talk about this»

He looked up, his face a mixture of apprehension and curiosity — «About what?»

— «The distance between us» you answered in a flat tone — «About how your work constantly distracts you»

He sighed, his fingers absentmindedly running along the edge of a folded piece of paper on the table — «I know it was hard, and i'm sorry»

You took a step closer, looking into his eyes — «It's not about apologizing, Leon, it's about us, i want to be with you, but it feels like there's a growing chasm between us»

His shoulders tensed, his gaze dropped again — «I know, and i hate making you go through this»

— «I'm not asking you to quit your job» you said and your voice softened — «But i'm asking you to think about giving yourself a break, you've spent so much of your life fighting and i think you deserve a little peace»

He looked at you, his eyes peering into your face as if trying to decipher your intentions — «You don't mind that i'll be around more often? That i won't be out there, dealing with all the mess?»

— «I care about you more than i care about loneliness» you confessed, and your sincerity shone — «I want you to have a chance at a normal life to find happiness beyond chaos»

He paused for a moment, his gaze fixed on you, and then he finally nodded — «I never thought i'd be able to get it»

— «You can» you said, your voice is unshakable — «You deserve it»

In the weeks that followed, Leon began to consider retiring from his busy career, the idea of retiring and sinking into normal life was terrifying, he was so accustomed to adrenaline, to the constant threat of danger, that the thought of letting go of the situation felt like giving up part of his personality.

However, thanks to your unwavering support, he found the strength to take this step, the decision was not made overnight — there were moments of uncertainty and doubt, but your presence, your unshakable belief in his own worth helped him overcome these barriers.

The first few weeks of his retirement were far from smooth, he struggled to find a sense of purpose to fill the void left by his high stakes missions, complaining at times about feeling aimless and missing the excitement of the field.

The atmosphere at home was occasionally filled with Leon's sighs of concern and his mutterings of frustration as he seemed to be struggling with the sudden transition from high octane missions to the serene routine of everyday life, the once familiar adrenaline rush replaced by an emptiness he didn't quite know how to fill.

— «I swear i've never been so bored in my life» Leon muttered, his tone laced with irritation as he paced back and forth in the living room.

You looked at him with a mixture of amusement and sympathy, leaning against the doorway — «It takes time to adjust, Leon, you will find something that interests you»

He gave you a skeptical look, his fingers drumming on his thigh — «What if i don't? What if that's it?»

Your lips curved into a soft smile «Believe me, it's not, you've experienced the worst, remember?»

He half laughed, half sighed — «Yes, i think you're right»

You were there, patient and understanding, reminding him that a peaceful life has its rewards.

Gradually, Leon began to adapt, he found hobbies that he had not had time for before, in his spare time he began to read books, learned to cook food that was not sold in ready made packages, he even tried gardening, caring for plants with a diligence that reflected the dedication he showed in his work.

And despite the difficulties, your relationship began to flourish in a new dynamic.

As the weeks turned into months, the initial struggles began to fade, Leon gradually found his calling in different hobbies and activities, there was a charming fascination to watch him tinker with gardening or culinary experiments, he whined less often, his grunts became more carefree and playful.

One ordinary sunny morning, you were standing at the kitchen counter with a warm apron around your waist and humming a familiar tune, the aroma of breakfast filled the air, and as you cooked, you were lost in your own world.

Suddenly, you felt a presence behind you, and before you could react, a pair of strong arms wrapped around your waist, Leon's bare chest pressed against your back, and soft, warm kisses touched your neck.

Delighted laughter escaped your throat and you leaned into his arms, enjoying the gentle gesture, his lips on your skin sent a pleasant shiver down your spine and you couldn't help but turn to face him, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck.

A satisfied sigh escaped him as he hugged you back, and then, with a slight crack, his back pop lightly.

You pulled away slightly, your eyes widened in surprise — «Are you okay?»

Leon chuckled softly, his smile was shy — «Yes, it's just that my back reminds me that I'm not as young as i used to be»

You couldn't help but laugh, love shone in your eyes — «Age catches up with you, right?»

He rolled his eyes playfully, his fingers gently tucking a strand of hair behind your ear — «It's all the warmth of our cozy home, it makes me feel too relaxed»

As he leaned in and took your lips in a tender kiss, you felt the depth of his love and the weight of the path you both took, the struggle to overcome his past, step into a new life, and finally find solace in the everyday moments you shared.

The atmosphere around you was filled with warmth, acceptance and love, which withstood the test and became even stronger.

[ taglist: @roseglazedlens, @sporeghost, @scar-crossedlvrs, @daydreamrot ] dm me if you want to be tagged in my works or open my taglist.

please, don't copy my works as your own, and if you want to post them somewhere else - contact me.

reblogs, likes and comments are very much appreciated, thank you for reading! ♡

#[ ✒️july writing ]#resident evil leon #leon scott kennedy #leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy comfort #leon kennedy x you #leon kennedy fluff #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy fic #leon kennedy fanfic #leon kennedy x gn!reader #leon kennedy x y/n #id leon kennedy #leon kennedy infinite darkness

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ofmermaidstories · 4 months ago

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some bnha thoughts, on this sunny monday morning (or lunchtime, by the time i finish typing sdlkfjdlsk):

💥 got walloped with a return of the post-362 grief, with the latest episode of the anime lmao. unfortunately this means i am currently in my feelies, so thank u for bearing with me as i cycle through them in the form of shitposting. 🥹

💥 speaking of the anime, i’m sad they didn’t adapt one of my favourite panels from 360, where bakugou (or shiggy? it’s never really stated, but tbh i’ve always kinda assumed it’s shiggy imagining it LOL, maybe they both are? a joint moment of horror/delight where everyone knows exactly what’s about to happen 🥹) are imagining bakugou being torn apart by shiggy’s gross giant maggot fingers sdlkjlsdjflksdjf. i mean, i get why bones didn’t adapt it (bc they’re cheapskates and and also bc it is a show for children LMFAOOOO) but it’s a really cool example of how hard hori’s art can go, and also what im chalking up as his secret wish to write a horror story lmaoooo.

🪱🧵 i am biting my nails the closer we get to the end of the manga. chapter 428 was fun—bakugou and todoroki hiding behind iida as iida gently berates their newfound fangirls was so cute, lmao. also the revelation that edgeshot is slowly… regenerating? is….. interesting. i’m disappointed that hori didn’t kill him for a couple of reasons: the first one is my most selfish, and it’s bc i planned on edgeshot being dead for my halloween fic lmfao, now i gotta rework that whole angle. 💀😪 but the second reason is more pressing and that’s bc hori is a COWARD who NEVER kills off ANYONE that has INTERESTING CONSEQUENCES. and also bc he only likes killing off girls 💀 (we’ll circle back to this point). idk, i mean, for as much as i act like the grim reaper and whinge about mha not being depressing enough (lmao), the story that hori’s been writing has always been like, pretty easy to understand. hope connection blah blah blah (i say that lovingly).

HOWEVER,

💚🍵🩸 there are a few deaths i’ve always kinda expected, in the series, with the top of that list being shiggy and dabi. i was like, hopeful toga wouldn’t die, mostly bc i wanted hori to prove me wrong with his GIRL MURDERER AGENDA, but. 💀 cue the clown music, ig. and hey, maybe toga isn’t dead—maybe she’s just in a coma or in prison and ochako’s being emo bc she wants the world to see toga as a teenage girl and not a blood-sucking murdering psycho, and i HOPE that’s the case!!! i do!!!! like, are you seriously going to tell me dabi is somehow still alive (for now, anyways. do NOT come for me, that man got deep fried in the deepest oil vats of McHell!!!!) but toga gets the chop? 😒 like i actually fully expect tenko to come stumbling back (literally!!!) so you cannot tell me you save the dustpile AND the deepfriend mctodo just to axe the blood sucker!!!!! let them all live if ur gonna be a coward about it, hori!!!!! this is what i mean about interesting consequences. 😔 the only consequence we’re getting so far is deku and ochako both kinda 🫤🥺😦ing their way into a confession LOL. i’m being mean—i think the next chapter will be them both confronting their guilt over like, not being able to “save” their villains, and that if we do get a confession of feelies it’ll be something like ochako saying, “i like you deku, and/but i want to be a great hero too, to save people like toga in the future”. 🥹 maybe??? guess we’ll see. 🥺

🌇💀 my pet theory for the vaguely-tenko shaped rando that’s stumbling through the rumble is that it is indeed tenko, and that deku will somehow find him to help him and that’s how deku will get his powers back. and if he doesn’t and hori ends the series with deku being quirkless i will actually, and i mean this very sincerely, stop writing fanfic LMFAOOOO. ok im maybe like, half joking. 😒 but i have never been a fan of the quirkless deku ending and now im getting scared that’s what we’re gonna get!!!!! 😦 in one of his latest interviews, hori mentions something about wanting to strip away labels from people (characters) to see the human underneath them? soooo i guess we’ll just have to trust in him and these next two (TWO) chapters. 🥹

for all my whinging i do like bnha lmao. i whinge because i like it, and tbh i probably wouldn’t change a thing of it. 🥺 all the frustrating gaps—like those perceived consequences i keep getting worked up over the lack of—are what makes it fun to write and read fic for. 🥹 and it’s been fun watching the characters change!!! i was in a bookstore, yesterday, picking up a copy of volume 38 and the girl at the counter and i started talking about the series—the pros and cons of binging it vs keeping up weekly, the change in bakugou’s character and how reading over fics with him and his older characterisation can be kinda hard, now. how scary it was that it’s coming to an end!!! she and i have talked before—when i was buying volume 36 lmao—about whether bakugou could be canonically read as queer vs asexual, and like, idk any other series that has such a mainstream reach that you could have these outside conversations with other people in your day to day, outside of a twitter or tumblr sphere! that’s the power of my hero. and im glad to be here for the ride. and no matter how it ends, it’ll be fun, and worth it. 🥹

#just some thoughts #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers

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cosmic-ghost-hermit · 9 months ago

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Take what resonates and leave behind what doesn't. Be open to new perspectives! 🖤🩶🤍

PILE 1

Crystal: Crocodile Jasper

Astrology: Cancer♋️, Capricorn♑️, Virgo♍️, Leo♌️

This reading makes me so upset. Mostly because I have been in a situation similar to this before. You are so hardworking and good at everything you do. The catch is everyone where you are making money is using your power and abusing your generosity. You are basically holding up the building while everyone else slacks off and dumps their work on you. Set up some boundaries and do not allow them to walk all over you this way. It does look like if you set this boundary with them it will cause those who you are helping to lash out at you. Do not be discouraged by this. Contact HR or your supervisor and request a fair working environment. You are not getting paid enough to do all that work. Either demand fair payment or ask that the extra work you took on be redistributed to your team. You should not have to work yourself to death for people who are unwilling to return your generosity.

💖🐙🌸🌷🍚🎹🛁🌺🍉🍣🎟️🩰🐭🏩🎀🏳️‍⚧️🧠🥚👛

PILE 2

Crystal: Moss Agate

Astrology: Sagittarius♐️, Aquarius♒️, Scorpio♏️, Libra♎️

You have a wonderful new opportunity coming pile 2! Have no fear and surge forward in this opportunity. It is in your chosen field! If it isn’t in your field then it will lead you to something in your field. Start planning now! The people you will be working with are amazing and just the right flavor for you. There is an energy of independence in this reading though. It doesn’t seem extremely prominent but just in case I’ll mention it. Do not let yourself fall into hyper independence. It could alienate you from this amazing opportunity. It is gonna be so exciting. You could be traveling in this career and seeing a BUNCH of new environments. Be open to this new opportunity and take the leap.

🧡🍊🍻🏆🥇🦁🎵🏀☄️🦞⛺️🌇🥧🔝🥮🍔🥐⚡️🌾🦊🧶🥵

PILE 3

Crystal: Dragon Stone

Astrology: Gemini♊️, Aries♈️, Taurus♉️, Pisces♓️

This reading shows me a very understandable circumstance. You are at a roadblock in the form of a decision. You work in a family business or a field you have been dedicated to but has been extremely draining and unfruitful. The decision is based upon if you want to continue in your current situation or make your own path. A warning that if you stay in your current job it will go absolutely nowhere. You will not be moved to a higher position. You will not be given any compensation for how much time and love you have put into this career. You will not enjoy continuing this work. This could also be a field you are going to school for. Maybe some family encouraged you to get into this field because everyone in your family has gone into this field. My advice is to carve your own path and discover what truly fills you with passion. That path will be more rewarding and more fun. Abundance will fill your pockets and your heart if you choose what is best for you.

💚🌳🐛🌻🍏🥬🔋♻️🫒💲🫛🏝️🦖👒🦜🥗🥑🌍🇧🇷

EDIT: i know it says readind now, my partner pointed it out. dont worry about it. i have dyslexia :3

#tarot reading #pick a pile #moss agate #dragon stone #kambaba jasper #astrology #tarot #tarot pick a card #crystals #pick a crystal #money reading #career reading

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theworkingmine · 1 year ago

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My roommate got shown a "video game" about "catching monsters" and "getting gym badges" at work.. How do I tell Him to stop taping up photos of the "elemental monkies" and "Charizard" on our walls as posters..

Is there a way to get her physical items?? They have merchandise,, right?? She is my best friend,, so I want to offer support..

#⛏️#🌇 mentioned

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the-siphonophore · 2 months ago

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My baby (🐈) (4yo) is upset with me for being sick in my room for three days t-t

#alas and alack my poor boy doesn't know what illness is #he thinks I'm beefin #😭#cats #🌇#🌑#🖤#he had to be locked out because of afore mentioned misunderstanding #bc he'd come in my room and beg for things #and I'm like ''baby boy I'm stuck I can't help you'' and he would go Miette Mode #he really is a Miette kind of boy #i love his dumb ass so dearly #also he's not even actually orange #he's white with tan spots #but he acts orange bc he can #smh <3

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magical-xirl-4 · 8 months ago

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did i mention that i lowkey predicted clerith standing in front of a sunset or i believe that they are the sunset/sunrise pair so i commissioned art of them once doing that, and i fucking won because that was in rebirth

ZA are the blue sky pair, CT are the night sky pair, for obvious reasons but also because they are similar to each other. CA contrast each other, but they meet in the middle, melding together and creating a sunset 🌇💓

#clerith #rebirth #rebirth spoilers #ffvii spoilers #ffvii rebirth spoilers

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amidstnamjin-and-binchanlix · 9 months ago

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i wanna see the sun rise (on your sins, just me and you)

Warnings: Uhhh. Not much. Just some v v light angst, and mentions of hospitalization and stuff, also inaccuracies because i'm not a doctor (no matter how much my parents want me to be lmao)

Pairings: Bangtan Boys | BTS Ensemble/Reader, Kim Seokjin | Jin/Reader, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Reader, Park Jimin (BTS)/Reader, Jeon Jungkook/Reader, Jackson Wang/Reader

Plot: Regrets don't always come in the end, and they're hell-bent in making it right this time

Genre: light angst

'Cause I wanna touch you baby

And I wanna feel you too

I wanna see the sun rise

On your sins just me and you

Light it up, on the run

Let's make love tonight

Make it up, fall in love, try

Baby, I am right here

mixtape: all i have left to give - part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - ending 1

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK hi hello i have nothing else to say except my world is falling apart and me writing is saving me a little see you again in a few months!

🌇

"How is she?"

Seokjin is tempted not to answer the question directed at him. So much has happened today, and his nerves are shot from everything that had transpired. If only he listened to his common sense, if only he fought for you. If only, if only.

"Hyung—"

He pulls his wrist away from Hoseok's grasp, ignoring the hurt painted in the younger's eyes when he does so.

"Why don't you go see her and find out for yourself?"

"I don't think—"

"Don't think what, Hoseok? That she's worth fighting for? That this shit's been dragging for too long and that maybe, just maybe, she deserves better than what we're doing to her."

Hoseok hangs his head in shame.

"I stand by what I said. This is no time to be neutral about it. You and Jimin, what did she ever do to the two of you to let the others get their way?"

Seokjin sighs heavily.

"She never asked anything from us, she did things for us that we didn't even know about without shoving it in our faces. She never even asked us to love her, but we do. I do, Hoseok. I love her, no matter how much you all beg me not to."

Seokjin tilts Hoseok's face tenderly.

"I do love her, Hobi. Don't you, too?"

Hoseok knows to himself that he does.

Seokjin is wrong. Hoseok's never really been neutral at all. Stoic about it, yes; he didn't want to break apart the group, after all. But in his heart, he slowly but surely fell in love with you. There's nothing neutral about it, he just learned how to be quiet about it.

In the times he sees you (without you seeing him), he sees your kindness shine. In your industry and this cutthroat world, you never let those old money sons of bitches trample on you, but he has yet to see you be as callous and evil even towards those who deserve it.

He remembers seeing you almost cry in indignance when a project went wrong and threatened employment displacement for those who are not at fault, even when they're not your employees. He had been watching and listening in secret from afar, but he could see how you wanted to burn your office to the ground when you knew that taking an important and needed step would mean that hundreds of families might potentially lose stable income.

He had seen you go undercover in the middle of the night so you could almost buy out an entire convenience store, just so you could feed the homeless one cold night.

He had seen you adopt your (now nth) cat Nori because you had seen it lost and without its mother on the sidewalk.

He had seen you love them from afar and mask it when they're around, even when it hurts him to watch too because that's all he can do when his hands are tied and he's had to keep it to himself or risk hurting their group.

He's seen you love them unconditionally, but not beg an ounce of it back because that's how love should be.

He loves you for your kindness, and everything in between.

"It's okay to love her too," Seokjin says in his silence. "It's the right thing to do, Hobi. We don't have to get scared anymore, not when she would go to lengths to give us what she thinks we want.

"But I don't want that." Seokjin drops his hand, sniffing lightly. "I don't want to lose her, not before I can even love her properly. I never wanted that."

"I don't want that, too, but the others—"

"Will come around eventually on their own. It's not our responsibility to do it for them." Seokjin says.

"And if they don't?" Hoseok asks, eyes wide with questions.

Seokjin sighs. "Then we can do nothing for them. It'll be a regret they will have to carry for the rest of their lives."

---

Talking to Jimin went a whole lot easier than expected. He was neutral about the whole thing, but it didn't take long for Seokjin and Hoseok to convince him.

"Hey," Seokjin says in lieu of greeting as Jimin sits on the balcony of his suite. "Can we talk?"

"If this is about what I think it is, I'd rather—"

"Please, Chim." Hoseok is the one who speaks this time. "Hear us out first."

"But the group, hyung." Jimin shakes his head. "I can't risk losing anyone of you."

"On what, the expense of someone else's life? She nearly died, Jimin." He ignores the gasps from both Jimin and Hoseok's lips. "She nearly died."

"What?" Hoseok speaks again. "You never told me this."

Seokjin sighs, his eyes shutting in pain as his mind flashes back to your prone figure lying on the hospital bed. "Yeah," he croaks. "She had to undergo surgery due to some heart damage, and she's in a coma right now."

"Coma?!" Hoseok and Jimin shout in unison. "What do you mean 'coma'?" Jimin stutters.

"She has to recover, so they put her there to help her heal..." Seokjin trails off.

When Seokjin doesn't continue, Hoseok asks, "But?"

"She's still in critical condition. They're not sure if she'll wake up."

"When she'll wake up," Hoseok tries to correct, but Seokjin shakes his head.

"If, Hobi. She had been so sick that she nearly died."

Silence befalls the three of them.

"How's Jungkook?" Jimin eventually asks, to which Seokjin shakes his head gloomily.

"He didn't take it too well. He got into a fight with Jackson."

"That asshole, again?!" Jimin bursts out but Seokjin stops him.

"As much as it pains me to say this, he has more rights to be there than we frankly do. Maybe legally as much, too."

"What?" Hoseok asks. "What do you mean by that?"

"I can't go into technicalities right now. My brain's too fried." Seokjin rubs his aching temples. "But when we left her, Jackson was there for her. She trusts him with everything, and I can't blame her."

"So we can't go see her?" Hoseok whimpers.

"We can." The other two sigh in relief. "But we can't touch her."

"Fuck that, I don't care if I have to put my fist against Jackson's fa—"

"It's not that." Seokjin shakes his head for the nth time that night. "We'll burn her skin. It's a side effect of her treatment."

Jimin can't even describe the emptiness he's feeling right now. When it comes to you, he has always chosen not to get too involved, not when he thinks it can tear their group apart. He doesn't want that, so better be safe than sorry.

Right now, however, he thinks that what was supposed to be safe turned out to be the biggest sorry.

"I'm sorry," Jimin whispers. "It wouldn't be like this had I not been detached from this."

Hoseok shakes his head. "We're all at fault here, remember? We all agreed to this, so there's no sense taking that burden by yourself." But even he feels the same way, the regret heavy in his gut.

"So what do we do now?" They both turn to Seokjin. "We're not banned from seeing her, are we?" Hoseok asks.

"No," Seokjin says firmly. "It would take more than that to ban us by law. We're still her soulmates, after all."

"Can we go visit her?" Jimin asks.

"Not right now, Chim." Seokjin smiles sadly. "We all had a long day, and we still have a lot of things to talk about, so I suggest we take some rest. Okay?"

Hoseok and Jimin look ready to disagree, but both sigh in defeat. Unbeknownst to them, Taehyung is listening in to the whole conversation. When he hears the suggestion to take some rest, he quickly but silently exits out of the room.

---

They all slept fitfully that night. Every time Seokjin tries to close his eyes, all he sees is your figure lying helplessly on your hospital bed. When his body eventually gives in to exhaustion, he dreams of losing you over and over again.

It was horrendous.

He wakes up to a weight on his chest, figuratively and literally.

Jungkook has his arm slung over Seokjin's waist, head tucked between his shoulder and neck. He's sniffling, clearly crying.

"Come 'ere." Seokjin wraps his arm around Jungkook's shoulder. "It's gonna be okay."

"We don't know that," Jungkook sniffs.

"It will be." Seokjin squeezes his arm gently. "We're not yet done making it up to her, so it will be. We haven't even started yet, so we can't lose hope. Not right now, not when she needs us."

"I just want her to be okay," Jungkook sobs.

"And I do, too. But all we can do right now is fight for her." He kisses Jungkook's hair, petting it gently to calm him down. "We can't afford to lose hope if we need to fight for her. Okay?"

Jungkook nods.

"We can visit her again soon. You and me, and Jimin and Hobi."

Jungkook pulls away slightly. "They will?"

Seokjin nods, and Jungkook puts his head back on his chest. "I talked to them last night. It was pretty easy to convince them."

If only it is easy to convince all of them, the thought hangs heavy in the air.

"Hyung?" Jungkook asks after a while. Seokjin just hums. "Do you ever think of what could have been if we didn't turn her away?"

"All the time," Seokjin admits. "I try not to because it's painful, but I always do.

"She's not hard to love." Seokjin swallows the pain in his throat, willing himself not to cry. "She's lovely and kind, and she never once asked us to love her back. That's what stands out the most for me because that love is unconditional."

A tear finally falls from his eye.

"I cannot imagine what pain she went through at all, and I still can't bring myself to because if I do, it'll be the end for me." He shakes his head. "She nearly died because of love—it was supposed to be the other way around. It was supposed to breathe life into you."

"Hyung..." Jungkook whimpers.

"I'm sorry," Seokjin says as he wipes the tears from his eyes. He doesn't know if he's saying sorry for crying, or for the things he failed to do for you.

"I feel like I don't deserve to cry because I failed her."

"That's not true, hyung. You didn't fail her. We'll still fight for her, won't we? That's not failing her."

Seokjin doesn't answer.

"I love you, hyung."

He hugs Jungkook tighter. "I love you too, Kook-ah."

---

The first thing that Seokjin does in the morning is to call Sejin, which was apparently expected of him because Sejin didn't even bat an eyelash, just agreed to come over and talk.

"Hear me out first, please," Seokjin says first thing when he arrives.

Sejin stares him down before sighing in defeat. "I already know where this is heading, Seokjin. I've seen you grow up and I know you better than yourselves sometimes."

"I know, Sejin-nim. But I can't, for the life of me, not try to make things right."

Sejin shakes his head. "You've fucked around, and all of you found out. This is what this is. I can't undo this for you this time."

"I'm not asking you to undo it, Sejin-nim. I'm just asking for your help. We just want to see her as much as we can."

Sejin's expression is pinched.

"She specifically asked not to let you interact with her unless it's for work. My hands are tied."

Seokjin shakes his head, desperation bleeding from his tired eyes. "What she doesn't know won't hurt her. We'll be out of there before she even wakes up."

"I—"

"Please, Sejin-nim. She doesn't even need to know."

Sejin takes a moment to respond. He takes a look at the kid he helped raise, at the tired slope of his shoulders and the despair in his eyes.

"Okay." However, before Seokjin can even react, Sejin raises his hand, "But, I have to warn you not to do stupid shit like picking fights with Jackson, as tempting as that sounds. His camp warned us last night."

"We're her soulmates," Seokjin says.

"But Jackson is made next of kin, and he can have you hauled out of the room if he wants to. He just chooses not to for [Name]. So please, be the sensible one."

Seokjin sighs in relief and nods. "Thank you, Sejin-nim."

"Are you taking Jungkook with you?" Sejin asks.

"And Hoseok and Jimin," Seokjin lists. "I'll have them behave, I promise."

Sejin's eyebrows raise at that. "You talked to them?"

Seokjin nods. "Last night. It was pretty easy considering they're both neutral about everything."

"How about the others?"

A shake of the head. "I haven't talked to them," Seokjin says softly. "I can't face them just yet."

Sejin just looks at him and nods. "I understand."

"Can you please ensure that Jackson's not there every time we visit her?"

Sejin nods. "That's easy, but I can't promise that every time. Jackson can only stay or visit for a few days because of his world tour. He's also gearing up for his new album, I think. I'll have to check that out."

Seokjin only nods. He'll take what he can have with you, and he's not about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"I also need to talk to her soul therapist," Seokjin says. "I have to know if there is something we can do to help her heal faster."

Sejin narrows his eyes.

"Is that really all, Seokjin?" When Seokjin opens his mouth to refute him, Sejin shakes his head at him. "I just said I know you better than yourself sometimes. This is one of those times."

Fuck.

How can he tell Sejin that he wants to be able to love you wholly and alive without the therapy present? He knows he can't do it with you undergoing the soul-scraping therapy, so he can only think of one way to do it.

"I... I want to know if there is any way her therapy treatments can be stopped." Seokjin swallows. "I can't let her suffer any longer than she already had. I want it to stop."

Sejin tsks. "You do realize that it can't be stopped like that, can it? It cannot be reversed like that. She's under research, for heaven's sake!"

"We don't know that!" Seokjin exclaims. "Maybe it can be stopped, and she can heal slowly. Treatments are being stopped when not working all the time!"

"It is working, and it is not your decision to make, Seokjin!" Sejin's temper flares. "It's not your call to make, not your decision or say, and not your signature on the damn dotted line. Regardless if you're her soulmate, I won't let you do that to her because that's breaking her trust."

"Letting her die is breaking her trust?!"

"Think twice before you say anything further if I were you, Seokjin." Sejin shakes his head in disbelief. "Who put her there in the first place, me? I was merely a messenger."

And he's right, isn't he? It's not Sejin's fault after all. Sejin puts his hands on Seokjin's shoulders gently.

"I understand and want your happiness too, Seokjin. But it's not our call to make." Sejin pauses. "What if this is what she's happy with? Would you take this from her just to make yourself happy?"

"B—but she's dying!" Seokjin sputters. "I don't care about my happiness at this point. I'd rather she hate me alive than see her die."

"It'll be up to the doctors to do their job, and we have to trust them, okay? She'll be okay. She's a fighter, she'd get through this alive."

Seokjin can only nod in defeat.

"I can set up an appointment with Dr. Im, but that's all I can do. I doubt he'll let you stop the treatments, and that's all we can do at this point."

"Okay, Sejin-nim." Seokjin smiles weakly at him. "Thank you."

"Now go get some more rest. God knows you need it."

---

"Jackson's going to be there, so please no picking fights." When none of the four men in the car answers, Sejin continues. "I'm looking at you, Jungkook."

"Yes, Sejin-nim."

"For her sake, let's keep it civil. I've talked to his camp, and they promised to keep him in check, but regardless if he picks a fight, don't be baited."

"Yes, Sejin-nim," they all repeat.

It had been a week since they last saw you. They've been trying to visit more frequently, but they still have appearances and commitments they need to fulfill. It's hard, playing pretend like everything is fine, especially with the other three, but they have no choice or everything will fall apart.

Sejin had been giving the same pep talk every time their visit overlapped with Jackson's. No matter how it grates them, what with Jackson's side comments, they have to endure it. Anything just to see you.

The first visit almost didn't go well. Jackson had been there and it had been bearable, yes, but Hoseok and Jimin didn't expect what they would find when they arrived.

Their reactions were similar if not the same as how Jungkook and Seokjin reacted the first time they saw you. They did this to you, how can they possibly make it up to you in this state?

"Now you know what you did," Jackson says, "you can leave her alone and never come back."

But the boys are anything but weak-willed.

They had been visiting as much as they could, much to Jackson's anger. Not that he can do anything about it. Being next of kin can only give him so much power over them being your soulmates.

"Here again?" Jackson sneers once they reach your room. "You're not needed here, and you're not welcome here either, so why don't you all just leave?"

Seokjin's jaw ticks but he says nothing, just sits on the comfy sofa of your presidential suite. Hoseok silently replaces the flowers in the vase with the ones he brought just for you. Sunflowers, he knows you like them and it suits you just as well.

"Jackson," his manager says. "You're needed for the shoot in an hour. We need to go."

Jackson huffs in annoyance and the four men can barely keep their glee off their faces.

"Fine. But we'll be back later, yes?"

His manager nods tiredly, apparently desperate to hurry him out of there.

Jackson stands by your bedside and caresses your hair softly before leaning down to kiss you on the forehead with a tender smile on his face. "I'll be back later, okay? Wait for me." You didn't respond, the machines around you beeping in your silence.

It takes all of Jungkook not to punch him in the face for the blatant display of affection, knowing the other men present can't do it with you.

Jackson leaves but not before sparing you a longing glance.

"I want to punch him in the face," Jungkook says once Jackson left. "I won't, but I want to."

"Please don't," Seokjin says tiredly. "Sejin-nim made us promise."

"And besides, his world tour will start in a few days, Kook-ah." Hoseok says, trying to cheer the youngest. "Just a few days, okay? You won't have to see his face for months after that."

Jungkook just smiles weakly, happy at the prospect of seeing you freely without that asshole hanging around like a pest.

It's then that Doctor Choi comes in.

"Ah, gentlemen. You're here again," he smiles at them. It will never stop stinging, the way the doctor always seems surprised seeing them every time they visit you. It's not for no reason, they know, but it will always hurt nonetheless. They all give their greetings and give way for the doctor to make his examination, Jimin giving out their gloves. Once Doctor Choi is done, he turns to face them.

"I would normally ask where the Next of Kin is but seeing as he's not present and you're her soulmates, it should be fine."

"Why, Doctor-nim? Is anything wrong with [Name]?" Jungkook asks anxiously.

The doctor smiles at them and shakes his head. "Not at all. In fact, I have some good news."

They all perk up at that.

"Miss [Last Name] has been responding well to the treatments so far, so we've decided to take her out of her coma."

Relief floods through the four other men in the room.

"Really?" Seokjin asks hopefully. "So she'll wake up soon?"

"Hopefully, yes. She should start waking up soon once we administer the drug to wake her up."

"Thank you so much, Doctor-nim." Hoseok smiles widely for the first time in what feels like ages.

"Mr. Kim, I believe you have an appointment with Doctor Im, yes?" Doctor Choi asks Seokjin.

"Yes, Doctor-nim. Is he in?"

"Yes, he is. He asked to let you know that he'll be speaking with you later."

"Thank you, Doctor-nim."

When Doctor Choi leaves, all three men turn to Seokjin.

"What was that about, hyung?" Jimin asks.

"Nothing you guys should worry about." When they stare at him skeptically, he sighs. "Seriously, it's nothing you should be worried about. I just want to ask some questions about [Name]'s treatments."

The other three thankfully decide to let it go.

They all fuss over you as much as they are allowed to but Jungkook is notably silent.

"Hey," Hoseok says quietly to Jungkook. "You alright?"

Jungkook smiles weakly. "Yeah."

Hoseok shakes his head. "You don't need to lie to hyung."

Jungkook looks at him and bites his lower lip. "It's just that once [Name] wakes up, we might not see her as much as we want to."

Hoseok falls silent at that. He honestly hadn't thought of it that way. Seokjin, having caught their conversation, shakes his head.

"No," he says firmly. "Don't think of it that way because we will find a way."

"But—"

"No 'buts'," Seokjin shakes his head. "We can't give up just yet, no matter what."

Seokjin's right, they can't give up just yet. If every setback will deter them, they will get nowhere in making it up to you.

Their silence is broken when Seokjin is called by Sejin for his appointment with Doctor Im. When he leaves, Jungkook asks the one question plaguing their mind.

"What do you think it is for?"

Jimin shrugs, completely at a loss himself. He had been noticing Seokjin being out of sorts these past few days, but he chalked it up to him worrying over [Name]'s health, as well as the group's well-being.

"I can't see any other reason other than him checking up on [Name]'s condition. It's not like he'll be signing up for the soul-scraping therapy himself, I know he won't." Hoseok says seriously. "We'll just have to trust him when he said it's nothing to worry about."

In a way, they are correct. As Seokjin sits across from Doctor Im in his office, he can't help but feel like he's betraying all of the trust given to him by the people he loves. You, and the rest of the group.

"So Mr. Kim," Doctor Im starts, "I heard from you Manager that you wish to speak to me about Miss [Last Name]. Is that correct?"

Seokjin fidgets in his seat. "Yes, Doctor Im."

Doctor Im levels him with a look, not dissimilar to Manager Sejin on that morning.

"I think I know where this is going, Mr. Kim. Is this about her therapy?"

Seokjin can only nod, feeling like a deer in the headlights. The Doctor sighs.

"If my guess is correct, you would want her to be pulled out, which I unfortunately cannot do. For one, she's in the middle of a worldwide research. And even if she's not, only she can consent to stop the treatments. Otherwise, it will be a breach of patient-doctor confidentiality."

"But will it be a breach if I'm acting on behalf of her as her soulmate?"

Doctor Im, instead of getting angry as he expected, only smiles.

"Unfortunately so, still. Part of the contract for soul-scraping patients states that unless they explicitly step down from the research, nobody can do it on their behalf.

Seokjin's heart drops to his stomach. Doctor Im just smiles softly.

"If you don't mind me overstepping, there was a bond rejection early on between you and Miss [Last Name], isn't there?"

Seokjin nods forlornly. "On our part, regretfully, yes."

"I see." Doctor Im hums. "That's interesting."

Seokjin says nothing.

"I'm afraid I cannot help you with this, Mr. Kim. Unless Miss [Last Name] steps down from the research, we are to continue with her in it. I hope you understand."

"But will it not be dangerous, especially after what happened to her?" Seokjin pauses. "I really don't know how to say this without being disrespectful because I know you're just doing your job, but maybe she can be made aware of what can happen if she continues with the therapy."

Again, instead of getting angry, Doctor Im just chuckles. Seokjin just looks at him like he's grown two heads.

"My apologies," Doctor Im waves him off. "It's just really interesting considering your history with her."

"I had no choice," Seokjin defends himself. "I sadly had no choice, and I didn't know what to do."

"Forgive me for being frank, but you always have a choice. But I do understand now where you're coming from.

"From a professional point of view, you'll be hindering my research and I would have to say no," Doctor Im pauses. "But I've seen enough cases like yours that end in regret and pain more than the freedom the patients thought they'd be getting. And Miss [Last Name], she's so young, way too young to be in this situation."

A terse pause.

"I cannot promise anything, Mr. Kim. I can only tell her what can happen if she wishes to continue with the treatments, but nothing else. Everything else is up to her."

And that is enough for Seokjin. He just hopes you'll stop altogether.

"Thank you, Doctor-nim."

Doctor Im nods with a gentle smile. "I'm aware Doctor Choi spoke to you earlier and told you that we'll administer the drug to wake Miss [Last Name] sometime this week, am I correct?"

"Yes."

"The effects might take some time to manifest, so don't be disappointed if she doesn't wake up right away. Okay?"

"Okay, Doctor-nim."

Seokjin rises from his seat just as Doctor Im rises from his as well.

"Thank you for taking the time to see me, Doctor Im."

Doctor Im nods kindly.

"No matter what happens, you will always have a choice. That's what I always tell my patients."

"Yes, Doctor-nim."

---

It has been three days since, and they're taking you out of your coma. The boys know you will not wake up right away, but they can't help but feel disappointed when you don't wake up once the drug has been administered.

"What matters right now is she'll be okay," Hoseok says. "She'll be okay."

"Yeah," Seokjin can only hope you'll change your mind about the treatments once you wake up. "She'll be okay."

---

Heavy.

Your body feels heavy the moment you wake up.

You try to speak, but the tubes in your throat prevent you from doing so. You try to lift your arms, but it feels like they're made of lead.

"She's awake! Hyung, she's awake!"

You can't decipher the rest of the words being spoken as you succumb back to the darkness, unaware of the chaos around you.

---

The second time you wake, your body feels a little lighter than before.

There's a mop of curls on your bed and a gloved hand wrapped around yours, the figure appearing to have fallen asleep.

Your eyes are bleary, and you can't see who it is.

"J...Jackson?"

You squeeze the hand around yours and they slowly rouse.

"Jackson...?"

The figure finally wakes.

"You're awake," the deep-voiced figure says. Had you not been drugged and still hazy, you would have noticed the awe in their voice and the emotions being spoken in those two words.

And that the figure is definitely not Jackson.

"You're here." You smile placidly. "You're here."

The figure nods, face obscured by the darkness of the room. Only the light of the lamp by the corner illuminates the otherwise dark room.

"I'm here."

"Not dead?" you ask.

The figure shakes their head.

"No. Thankfully not."

You nod, the last vestiges of your consciousness slowly slipping.

"Don't... don't leave."

Silence.

"Don't leave, m'kay?"

The figure nods again.