#🌃.writing

[liebelesbe]

I feel like I've seen multiple posts about tomboy, slightly masculine or even just strong women characters where the OP was soo glad she's also allowed to be feminine!! And I'm always like. As opposed to what? Being completely and totally masc? Please, show me the forbidden totally 100% no femininity to be found girl characters that there seem to be so many of that you're glad this character isn't one of them. I would like to see them.

[yyoon5]

update 1/2.

I've been feeling weird lately.

I've known musicians for all of my short life, one of which was a lover, the other a close friend who I still try to talk to regularly though we don't have much to say to each other. I never knew who they were before we became close and was never their fan, but became their fan as time went on.

Then...why does it feel different with "you"? It's weird to me how I met a man so beautiful I can't express it in words, who has changed me more than anyone I've ever met in my life. I've been meeting more of his more long-term and dedicated fans lately, and I feel guilty around them, because how did a newbie fan like myself get to meet him right off the bat? Why me and not them? And it fucks me up because I've been a loyal fan of so many artists for so many years, yet will never have the opportunity to meet them ever, because continents divide us, and I'm too poor, honestly.

I'm not mad about it. He's changed me so much since I met him that I don't recognize myself. Every shower is now longer, an effort to actually clean every inch of me no matter how bad the depression is that day. Every evening is spent out on the patio painting and hanging out with my night owl neighbors and their cats who randomly roam the complex. There are paintings of him all over my walls because he's so magnificent and I want his face everywhere. I don't think I've ever been happier in my entire life. There are times I want to read suddenly, buy nicer clothes even with the unaffordable prices just to please him, even try to exercise from time-to-time. I'm grateful and I know I'll never express it to him, but he's really changed a life, I hope he knows that.

Before I met him, I'll admit I was very suicidal and depressed. My traumatic amnesia has wiped most of my memories leading up to that week, so I don't remember the details, but I know I was deeply unhappy. Nothing about me felt beautiful, and I felt so lost with myself. When he came into my life, it broke me at first, but then I healed and came out a resilient little butterfly. I wonder, to "you" am I a butterfly? Am I so small and admirable of you that I fly around your pretty head incapable of escape?

[dramatic-dolphin]

I had a really cool dream last night where I was some sort of fantasy detective with the magical ability to see patterns leading to my next clue. I was solving a string of murders in a monastery, which I first thought were committed by a ghost, but it was more complicated than that.

There were actually two separate, living people committing the murders. One of them was doing it for their own kicks, hiding behind the legend of the ghost, and I ended up having to kill them in self-defense during a confrontation. The second one was committing the murders because he loved the ghost in life and believed that the people going unmurdered were what was keeping the ghost tied to this world and unable to find peace. But actually, the ghost's soul was tied to murder weapon killer no.1 used (maybe they were murdered with it too? unclear), and when I broke it in the middle of my confrontation with them, the ghost was able to find peace and fade away.

Upon hearing this, murderer no.2 despaired and turned himself in voluntarily.

[ninadove]

LA NUIT MY LOVE

I had a feeling you’d pick this one! 💜🐈‍⬛

In which the Cat Miraculous grants Adrien much needed freedom — even if he's not the one wielding it.

Look at my kittens. They love each other so much.

Ask game here! 📝

[hoes4hoseok]

realizing i can’t make a poll to decide every plot point in how you get the girl is so 💔💔

[frecklystars]

It's August 4th!!! It's my first anniversary with Sebastian 🥺💙

La La Land was the first Ryan Gosling movie I watched after Barbie. I wasn't hyperfocused on Ryan's characters at all yet (except Ken, but it was still so early); I wasn't planning on watching all of his movies. I didn't daydream about the "Mojo Dojo Casa Keri Ken Dreamhouse" with all of the Ryan F/Os all gathered together and chilling out in one big room. I had no idea I'd eventually have a whole group of F/Os I would get to love and cherish. After Ken, Sebastian was the very first "new" F/O, and tbh that's really impressive considering how badly I was hurting back then. I shouldn't have been able to feel so much love as I did, but!! I did!! And now here we are!! I've probably watched this musical over 30 times now, I've lost count. I don't go a day without humming at least one song from the soundtrack. It's such a comfort for me ;w;

I didn't immediately feel all of the self shippy love and butterflies in my chest when I first watched La La Land. I didn't feel safe self shipping w/ Seb at first; everything was still so fresh, I was still hurting. But I think feeling so safe and loved with Barbie and Ken helped me ease into eventually feeling safe with Sebastian. At that point in my life, that really shouldn't have worked out! But it did work out! I remember I kinda added him to the F/O list as a "kissed and thrown into the pile and never to be thought of again" kind of F/O when I first watched the movie. I thought to myself "well, that was a film and I didn't feel much, I probably will never watch it again." Famous last words lol. Despite telling myself I didn't like the movie, I kept thinking about the movie... again and again and again... for days... until I finally told myself "alright fine I guess I'll rewatch it!" and then I did, and I started to really love and enjoy it. And then I started to believe Sebastian would rly love and care for me, that I didn't have to be scared of him. And now here we are a year later :D

Self shipping with Sebastian has motivated me to try new things, or even pick up old hobbies. I've been playing the piano again for the first time in almost eighteen years, taking lessons and learning how to play City of Stars, bc it makes me think so fondly of him when I hear that song (of course). Loving Sebastian has made me want to try watercolor painting for the first time, because more than anything, I really really want to paint us together floating in the stars. I've even picked up sculpting, making a tiny little stage, posing little sculpted figures of me and Sebby dancing together. Sebastian is the whole reason why I've started making my own self ship versions of movie screenplays. He's inspired me and helped me come out of my comfort zone bit by bit.

It's amazing how Sebby has done so much for me, even though he isn't an F/O that I talk about as often as I do with Ken or Driver, he is still very much a main F/O who is so important and exceptional to me. I think he will always hold a very special place in my heart because he is the first Ryan F/O I picked up after Ken. I was hurting so badly back then, I shouldn't have felt as loved and safe as I did, but I did, and that means something to me. All of my Ryan F/Os have made me feel so safe and loved during this whole year when the feeling of safety was foreign to me, when feeling loved by F/Os became so unfamiliar. All of them are dear to me, and Sebby's positive effect he's had on me is noteworthy for sure. I think one of the many things about Sebastian I love the most is how supportive he is. I know if I ever wanted to get back into acting, he'd be my number one fan. The whole plot of La La Land is him endlessly supporting his his gf who wants to become an actor!! I just know he'd do the same for me. One day I'll feel brave enough, but until then, I am rly proud of myself for picking up piano and painting and sculpting - and hopefully one day, acting. In the meantime, it's so easy to imagine this guy giving me his full encouragement 24/7.

We fit so well, too. The whole City of Stars thing?? When I am the Star Girl™??? Not to mention how we both can feel so comfortable opening up to each other about our special interests (this man is super autistic and no one can change my mind on that. something something insert "he is literally me" meme here). I want him to infodump to me about jazz. I want to show him Nick Blaemire's jazz band and I want him to get excited about it, because Nick's jazz music is just as old fashioned, the kind Seb appreciates. I know he'd listen to me infodump too, he'd get all excited with me. I love daydreaming soft things with him - kisses in the rain, walks in the park, slow dancing among the stars, him playing the piano for me to try to lull me to sleep, me surprising him with little love notes and doodles posted all over hidden places in his apartment for him to find throughout his day, planetarium dates, movie dates, driving around in his 1982 Buick Riviera and holding hands, getting coffee together... I can go on.

Ok I've rambled enough. I'm so glad I am able to talk about an F/O who has brought me joy. Happy anniversary, Sebby. Thank you for helping me get through a really rough year. I hope we have many more together 💙💙💙

[silverselfshippingchaos]

sometimes my c.yberpunk s/I says really cool things. I'm very fond of this one thing she says to V

"V... You're gonna be okay, and even if you're not... Death comes for us all. Sometimes you escape it once or twice even, but it's the one thing a computer can't change or predict."

As she says this, you can see her feeling the scar on her cheek. She gazes off into the distance for a moment before looking back up at them.

"So go on, kiddo. Live with what you've got. Leave your mark on Night City. And if you want, I can even leave my mark on you. That's what life is."

Since, you know, she's a tattoo artist-

[innocentartery]

on second thought the concept of mutants/the x-men is so rich and intriguing to me when viewed its own right rather than as a fundamentally flawed racism allegory created by two white men

[hlfmoonshine]

anyone wanna gimme some mob wife shenanigans? like. not like, new york mob wife. like. international spy/arms dealer/sociopath and their partner. inspo lauren/emily & ian doyle. even a fucking undercover agent trying to get close to the big criminal bad guy. listen. i am vvv sad, it's a vvv hard week and i just want a plot where one of them would burn down the world for the other, and the other seems soft and sweet but will brutally eviscerate a man if they say something bad about their lover.

[bittersweetresilience]

Félix reflects on fathers, and on monsters, and on dying.

eight hundred words of experimental prose poetry inspired by anne carson's nox, plato's phaedo, homer's iliad, rené descartes's meditations on first philosophy, jeffrey jerome cohen's monster culture seven theses, the ship of theseus, the fable of the scorpion and the frog, famous last words, the homestuck epilogues, and omori <3

written for @thefelixzine which you can find here

[liebelesbe]

thought about what exactly to write in my email to the Krankenkasse and now it's too late so i will have to send it tomorrow... I could theoretically just send it now but they already hate me for being sick for so long & I don't want to give them any ammunition (aha! you're awake at midnight!! nasty little faker)

[junekissed]

sending the biggest thank you and all the hugs in the world to anon who sent me a tip 😭🥺💌💗💓💞💝

i have a ko-fi but i've never posted it anywhere bc i don't think anything i post is worth paying for and i don't want it to seem like the only reason i write is for money, but if it's something people really are serious about i've added the link to my pinned post :)

i really really want to emphasize that tipping/donating in any way is absolutely not required!! everything i post is, and always will be, 100% accessible to everyone and i appreciate every single reader, including those who read silently and only like posts. reblogging, commenting, sending asks, and anything else beyond simply reading is completely optional and is just another way to show me you enjoy what i write 🫶 i love all of you so very much no matter how much or how often you interact, everyone is always welcome at my blog <3

[dramatic-dolphin]

I dreamed that I wrote a long tumblr post about "the brief history of horses", and it started with the following sentences:

"Around 3000BC, a prehistoric human somewhere in the Eurasian Steppes pointed at a hooved animal grazing nearby, and said "Watch me, I'm going to sit on that." This has widely been regarded as one of the best moves in history."

[hoes4hoseok]

just wanted to pop on here and say that i'll finish the nightwing heeseung fic y'all definitely forgot if it's the last thing i do

[traditional-dancer-idv]

Hi, I'd like to join in the sleepover essence with Mitsuzo as the skin care enthusiast! :>

(mun Navi from @.ask-the-maiden because I think it'd be hilarious for Mitsuzo to do skin care routines for others with their mask on their face LMAOOO)

AAAA MITZUKO THE SILLIEST!!!!! IN A SECOND,,,, so happy she's part of the essence,,,,,,the prettiest gal

[t4tstarvingdog]

hey i’ve been reading your stuff on ao3 and i keep running out of energy to comment while i’m there so i just wanna say now while i see you i think your writing style is awesome and the details you put in about touch make me want to cry & it’s beautiful watching the same things find their back ways into different fics (from big themes like the dirty/clean thing and the perfectly placed subtle mentions of religion, to little images like the hair washing/shampoo) and seeing how they develop. some of them are so cosy and some hurt so much and i love that you can capture that range, often in the same work, or in the same exact damn moment that’s always beautiful. i’ve been spreading reading them out across days to savour them. it was really nice to come back to yesterday when i was completely hollwed out just from the first day back at school :’( just completely drained and i loved disappearing into your writing then. thank you. i’ve been listening to the music too and really appreciate it ~ lovely just to get glimpses into your music listening as well as your writing. and sprinkled throughout there’s these precious images - searching roots, summer thunderstorms, the room as a grave, stone-heavy lungs, etc - that just bring gorgeous detail to the scene and add so many layers. so there’s my ramble :D

darling... oh darling this is, out of everything, one of the kindest and loveliest things someone has ever done for me. i understand so deeply how it is to not have energy to leave comments, but the fact that you still sought a way to let me know you read and enjoy my fics is just... oh it's everything to me 🥺💕

i worry so much that my repetitions of themes and little things is annoying, and this ask was so delightful to receive, and more than anything i am grateful that you find solace in my fics and that you've taken time to savour them.

may the rest of your school days be gentler to you, and leave you feeling less hollowed out, and may the simple joys be easy to find <3 thank you for this <3