#𝘾𝙇𝘼𝙄𝙍𝙀 𝘼 : 𝙉𝙀𝙒 𝙔𝙊𝙍𝙆 ⎯ 2010s

[rescuefield-a]

@deadaim asked : '' are you sure you want to be here? ''

question is warranted given the less than well status she's finding leon in, heart breaking at the sight even though it's nothing she hasn't seen before - a brief rundown of what happened given to her at the beginning of his vacation just to disappear in thin air, or something close to that. back then claire hadn't put up a fight - do what you gotta do then come back to me - and instead she's finding him working in new york without much of a warning or a call to let her know, any information about it given from chris upon landing of their helicopter along with a comment about how worried he is for leon's well being. welcome to my world, she'd like to say, but what even is the point anymore?

"no." she answers honestly, lips curling into a frown as she leans against the chair across him, bottle of water pushed in his direction even though she had been assured he had somewhat sobered up during the travel to new york a few hours prior. hands smooth fabric of jeans as claire looks around, suddenly hyper aware of the fact that they've got little to none private space since most of the agents are still operating around the neighborhoods. "i'm gonna check if anyone needs help while you get your head focused but uh, yeah..." she blurts out eventually - anxiety beginning to spark at the pit of her stomach even though she's supposed to give out good news. "we need to talk."

[rescuefield-arch1]

galas and fundraisers have never been claire's scene, and despite getting better at tolerating them, the part of her who would rather be back home already always prevails. terrasave provides aid for those in need after outbreaks, but truth is that kind of help can only go so far - reason why they have been trying to reach out to local known heroes who do what the ngo does, except with a number of skillsets people like claire could only wish to have.

@plasmablasts : the things i’d do to you if we weren’t out in public… 

brows quirk up slightly when whispered words reach her ear, head tilting to the side to meet the mysterious person standing behind her. "thought i had seen you around," she greets casually, letting alex guide her toward an empty spot of the room and attempt to dance. the sly smirk on her lips never falters, confidence radiating also thanks to the dress she's decided to wear for the event - if it truly makes this effect on people, perhaps it will come handy in other future occasions.

the man in question had sparked some interest in claire the few times they had worked together, a few flirtatious words here and there just to keep things light whenever the day was getting to heavy - she'd never really considered an actual interest... until now. bright eyes squint lightly, defiant look playfully shot at the blond. "didn't take you for the shy type, would you like me to hold your hand while you go over your list?" a pause, side eye studying her surroundings. "...or you could show me in detail on the way home."

[rescuefield]

" this is the fun part! take that tenderiser, and beat the absolute crap out of that pile of steaks. "

since sherry has introduced them, claire has tried hard to see the brighter side of things - another lost kid to connect with due to the unfortunate events happened. any friend of sherry is someone who will always have a place in her house to come back to, even though deep down claire can't shake away the doubts that come with letting someone like jake in her house. she should know better, that much claire is aware of already; judging a book by its cover was never her style, hence why she's allowed this little dinner to happen in the first place. so here they are, jake attempting to teach her this edonian recipe.

THIS IS THE FUN PART! TAKE THAT TENDERISER, AND BEAT THE ABSOLUTE CRAP OUT OF THAT PILE OF STEAKS. smile on his face matches enthusiasm in his voice, claire almost finding it chilling for a moment. jake gives it a few tries for demonstration, countertop of kitchen island bouncing a few times before she swoops in. "alright i think i got it," polite smile on lips as arm extends to get the tenderiser, object used in the same fashion although not as roughly. "but we definitely need to work on how to be gentler."

[rescuefield-a]

@weskerjr asked : [ high five ] sender gives receiver a congratulatory high five

holding meetings is not something new to claire, she's been in this field long enough by now to be able to recognise all faces, memorise something personal about her fellow co-workers - no, her team - to make idle conversations and make sure morale is alright despite the tragedies they walk into every other day. but it's different now, if until this point she was just a reliable asset in the organisation, from this moment everyone is expecting her to be better and do better than her predecessors.

papers are carefully placed back in her file cases once the meeting is over, polite smiles and greetings exchanged as her team gets ready to go back to work according to the new tasks of the day. she almost misses jake's hand for a moment, leaning back a bit upon noticing him with the corner of her eye. "jesus christ." comes out in a mutter, hand finally rised to high five him back. "thought you guys forgot about today but i guess they sent you to stand in...?" her voice trails, almost feeling sorry for the way it's so clear she was waiting for someone else to come.

"sherry's fine, yeah? you're not here to bear bad news...?" it would be almost comical for her mind to wander to that thought out of all the possibilities, but with everything happened in the past year claire is genuinely not sure of anything anymore. "wait - did leon send you here? is he already tired of... train you to the office life?"

[rescuefield-arch1]

@premxnitionn : i'm real. touch my hands. i'm right here.

the nightmares are something one gets used to after a while, sleep plagued by them since she was nineteen and as she grows older claire knows too well the only way out is through - survive them the way she would in the real world and hope for the best. arguably it's a shitty tactic, but then again claire wouldn't know any other way.

"sorry." pushes through lips, incoherent mumbling follows as hands aimlessly wander over bedsheets. "i didn't mean to wake you up." finally fingers brush against back of their hand, laboured breaths echoing in the dark room. legs kick out of the bed as claire lifts up to sit. "i'm gonna go get a glass of water, get back to sleep."

[rescuefield]

verses tags.

𝘾𝙇𝘼𝙄𝙍𝙀 𝘼 : 𝙍𝘼𝘾𝘾𝙊𝙊𝙉 𝘾𝙄𝙏𝙔 ⎯ 1997

𝘾𝙇𝘼𝙄𝙍𝙀 𝘼 : 𝙍𝘼𝘾𝘾𝙊𝙊𝙉 𝘾𝙄𝙏𝙔 ⎯ 1998

𝘾𝙇𝘼𝙄𝙍𝙀 𝘽 : 𝙍𝘼𝘾𝘾𝙊𝙊𝙉 𝘾𝙄𝙏𝙔 ⎯ 1998

𝘾𝙇𝘼𝙄𝙍𝙀 𝘼 : 𝙋𝘼𝙍𝙄𝙎 ⎯ 1998

𝘾𝙇𝘼𝙄𝙍𝙀 𝘼 : 𝙍𝙊𝘾𝙆𝙁𝙊𝙍𝙏 𝙄𝙎𝙇𝘼𝙉𝘿 ⎯ 1998

𝘾𝙇𝘼𝙄𝙍𝙀 𝘼 : 𝙉𝙀𝙒 𝙔𝙊𝙍𝙆 ⎯ 2000s

𝘾𝙇𝘼𝙄𝙍𝙀 𝘼 : 𝙑𝘼𝙇𝘿𝙀𝙇𝙊𝘽𝙊𝙎 ⎯ 2004

𝘾𝙇𝘼𝙄𝙍𝙀 𝘼 : 𝙃𝘼𝙍𝙑𝘼𝙍𝘿𝙑𝙄𝙇𝙇𝙀 ⎯ 2005

𝘾𝙇𝘼𝙄𝙍𝙀 𝘼 : 𝙒𝘼𝙎𝙃𝙄𝙉𝙂𝙏𝙊𝙉 𝘿𝘾 ⎯ 2006

𝘾𝙇𝘼𝙄𝙍𝙀 𝘼 : 𝙒𝘼𝙎𝙃𝙄𝙉𝙂𝙏𝙊𝙉 𝘿𝘾 ⎯ 2000s

𝘾𝙇𝘼𝙄𝙍𝙀 𝘼 : 𝙒𝘼𝙎𝙃𝙄𝙉𝙂𝙏𝙊𝙉 𝘿𝘾 ⎯ 2010s

𝘾𝙇𝘼𝙄𝙍𝙀 𝘼 : 𝙉𝙀𝙒 𝙔𝙊𝙍𝙆 ⎯ 2010s

𝘾𝙇𝘼𝙄𝙍𝙀 𝘼 : 𝙏𝘼𝙇𝙇 𝙊𝘼𝙆𝙎 ⎯ 2013

𝘾𝙇𝘼𝙄𝙍𝙀 𝘼 : 𝙎𝙀𝙅𝙈 𝙄𝙎𝙇𝘼𝙉𝘿 ⎯ 2011

𝘾𝙇𝘼𝙄𝙍𝙀 𝘼 : 𝙐𝙉𝙆𝙉𝙊𝙒𝙉 𝙇𝙊𝘾𝘼𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉 ⎯ 2011/2012

𝘾𝙇𝘼𝙄𝙍𝙀 𝘼 : 𝙐𝙉𝙆𝙉𝙊𝙒𝙉 𝙇𝙊𝘾𝘼𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉 ⎯ 1998

𝘾𝙇𝘼𝙄𝙍𝙀 𝘼 : 𝙐𝙉𝙆𝙉𝙊𝙒𝙉 𝙇𝙊𝘾𝘼𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉 ⎯ 2000s

𝘾𝙇𝘼𝙄𝙍𝙀 𝘼 : 𝙐𝙉𝙆𝙉𝙊𝙒𝙉 𝙇𝙊𝘾𝘼𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉 ⎯ 2010s

𝘾𝙇𝘼𝙄𝙍𝙀 𝘼 : 𝙎𝙊𝙉𝙄𝘿𝙊 𝘿𝙀 𝙏𝙊𝙍𝙏𝙐𝙂𝘼 ⎯ 2014

𝘾𝙇𝘼𝙄𝙍𝙀 𝘼 : 𝙎𝘼𝙉 𝙁𝙍𝘼𝙉𝘾𝙄𝙎𝘾𝙊 ⎯ 2015

𝘾𝙇𝘼𝙄𝙍𝙀 𝘼 : 𝙀𝘼𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙉 𝙀𝙐𝙍𝙊𝙋𝙀 ⎯ 2018/2021

𝘾𝙇𝘼𝙄𝙍𝙀 𝘼 : 𝙉𝙀𝙒 𝙔𝙊𝙍𝙆 ⎯ 2020s

𝘾𝙇𝘼𝙄𝙍𝙀 𝘼 : 𝙒𝘼𝙎𝙃𝙄𝙉𝙂𝙏𝙊𝙉 𝘿𝘾 ⎯ 2020s

𝘾𝙇𝘼𝙄𝙍𝙀 𝘼 : 𝙐𝙉𝙆𝙉𝙊𝙒𝙉 𝙇𝙊𝘾𝘼𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉 ⎯ 2020s

[rescuefield-arch1]

lips part to protest but what use would it do? leon's right, she's not the first and surely won't be the last person on earth worrying about not meeting the expectations set on parents. comment that comes next sparks a pang of guilt in her chest - the night of her 30th birthday still burned in the back of her mind, along with the harsh truth that people like them were not meant to have that sort of american dream in this lifetime, that there's a universe where they've been together and happy for so long that it makes up for all the darkness surrounding them in this one. looking back at it now, claire's not so sure anymore. "i know, i just wish the something wrong wasn't as deadly as this."

maternity leave is something she can deal with - stay at home to avoid any risks, perhaps get behind a desk to do paperwork just until their child is old enough to not need her all the time. but children need their mothers, and suddenly the idea of leaving a preteen at home with the sitter to go deal with viruses leaves a bitter taste in her mouth - something her younger self had deemed unbelievable and wrong. she's not going to ask leon to move in with her, knowing that the most logical step at the moment is moving in DC where the rest of her family is. once again decision comes with shedding a layer that strikes directly at the person she is now and won't be anymore.

"yeah i know, you know i appreciate it." and she truly does, coming back from sejm had been a walking nightmare and leon had held her hand throughout most of it, sometimes making space for himself in her own, other times with claire compromising and spending time at his place - picking up right where they left with their playing house on days off. it's not that claire hates it, just feels like meeting someone completely new and not being ready for it. "if really going to do this, i want us to be stable. flying back and forth is not that." she's basically already made her mind about it, all that's left to discuss is what's going to happen to everything she's built for herself here.

"i mean, you don't have to marry me to make up for it or anything... but living under the same roof already sounds more like family than commuting." last word is said in jest, claire remembering perfectly their days spent visiting sherry at her new house, how back then they still were a family regardless of how fragmented they looked. "are you sure you wanna do this?" concern colors features when she looks down at leon, trying to get any reaction about how he actually feels. "i'll move in with you tomorrow if you want me to, but with everything happened in the past days... i just want you to know that we still got options if it's not the right moment."

I’m fine. Expression pinched at those two words. They always, always meant something else. She wasn’t fine. And that smile wasn’t fooling him. They’ve known each other for far too long. They could read each other like books, back to cover, with very few pages missing in between. So he waits, studying her closer till she speaks again. And then came the truth. Not so much as a pressuring word needed. Blue hues linger on her features, brows furrowing at her self doubt. Though he could level with how she felt. A similar worry of screwing everything up— ending up like his own parents. A thought that terrified him; failing his partner and their unborn child.

But he puts on a bold front for Claire. Taking her hand in his good one and offering her a reassuring squeeze. “Hey, look at me. You are not going to let anyone down. Do you know how many… women likely feel the way you do now? Scared that they’re gonna mess up with their first baby? Lots. You and I got experience with kids though, and Sherry— all them would say you’re a great mom,” Leon started, a faint grin curling at his lips. Not once breaking his gaze from her. “I know you’re worried about… all this. It doesn’t seem fair, but there’s always been something wrong with the world. We were just forced to pay attention to it.”

“If you really wanted, but probably not. Take leave at most…” Softly he informs. He doesn’t take her tone to heart. It’s been a hell of a day, longer than that for some of them. It's been rough. And the agent doesn’t hold that fact against the redhead’s behavior. Claire’s every right to speak out. Though the latter does get him thinking. Ready to spring his offer on his partner once again. Leon chuckles then, wincing a bit at the effort as he sighs. “You caught me. Was my plan all along. Lay the consequences of unprotected sex upon us and force you into moving in with me.”

“You know that offer is still on the table. Whenever you’re ready. It’s like I’ve been asking you to move in the last… three years.” He adds gently, after a moment’s thought. She was always welcome to come and stay as long as she liked. “I think my place is a decent size for starting a family… and you wouldn’t have to keep traveling back and forth. Because, well, that will get more difficult to do later on.”

[rescuefield-a]

“It doesn’t matter how I feel about him, because we can’t be together. We just can’t.”

there's a quirk of claire's brow at jill's reasoning, silently wondering what makes the older woman so set on thinking a romance might not be on the table for her - but then there's a realization that downs claire, something she's struggled for so long just as much. fear. the root of terror as an old acquaintance would say, and suddenly even someone claire's always looked up to and thought to be so strong can feel it no matter how brave she is.

"is there something that worries you in particular?" she asks eventually, arms rounding legs as she pulls knees up to her chest. claire would understand if that was the case - god knows how many chances she's missed because of the fear of losing something precious before even having it already. so many happened exactly in this spot of her rooftop balcony, still burning in her memory just as much as her regrets. "look, as someone who almost died with a shitton of things left unsaid... go for it." a pause, soft smile offered as gentle squeeze is offered to jill's hand. "better be safe than sorry considering how limited our lives are, don't you think?"

[rescuefield-arch1]

it doesn't happen often for claire to give up control, especially not these days. it takes trust, an unconditional love she's been dying to thrust upon someone but has always been scared to get burned - wouldn't be the first time, metaphorically or physically that is. but lara makes claire want to give it all up to her, touch that flame regardless of whether it will hurt her not simply because it feels so fucking good.

YOU’RE BEING SO GOOD FOR ME. she whispers in claire's ear, thumb flicking over her core sending a rush down her spine. arm moves slightly forward in attempt to reach for lara, only to remember her wrist are tied to the headboard - soft silk could be easily broken and yet claire plays along... for now. legs part wider as an invitation for the other woman to lay in between them. "come here, let me see how good you look on top..."

@croftborn

[rescuefield-arch1]

she's been quiet for a while, not for lack of things to say but more because everything feels like such a fucking effort lately - fatigue suddenly hitting her in ways it's never done before even though admittedly their latest assignment was all but a walk in the park. fingers grip around edge of her office desk to keep herself steady.

I'M SERIOUSLY THINKING ABOUT FORCING THAT SECRET OUT OF YOU. moira says from across the room, and claire really wants to counter that there's no secret but of course nausea has to hit her just like that. so she takes a moment and deep inhales and exhales fill the room, narrowed gaze remaining on moira questioning look the whole time. "it's just food poisoning okay? no secrets or conspiracies."

@barrysbaby

[rescuefield-arch1]

@premxnitionn - exhausted after a ( long ) day, draping themselves dramatically over claire's lap

soft smile forms on claire's lips watching ae-ri lay on her lap, hands gently running through their hair as she lets them settle more comfortably. "rough day, uh?" she inquires, gaze darting from her lover to the screen across the room. distraction has worked perfectly if anything, because claire can't remember anymore what she was watching. "wanna talk about it?" follows up, tv volume lowered enough for her and ae-ri to be able to have a conversation.

[rescuefield-arch1]

free days are not something claire gets often when the world is always ready to welcome a new threat, let alone two in a row. so she had tried to make up for all the times her promises of a date outside the four walls of her house had been broken - picked a nice restaurant and a cute dress, invited ae-ri to catch up on what was happening on their life and the of course take them home with her if they wished.

early mornings have become claire's thing lately, or better these days she sleeps even less than usual but is always trying to find new ways to past the time. this particular morning she's decided to attempt an half sweet half sour breakfast - a pile of fresh pancakes filled up on a plate while she overlooks eggs and bacon still frying in the pans.

the smile on ae-ri's face is all the gratification claire needs, just happy to know her goal has been reached and her attempt at cooking has conveyed her feelings. by the time she's done eating her eggs and bacon, she gets up to pick a refill of coffee, fingers around her wrist promptly stopping from going back to the kitchen. the lustful look in ae-ri's eyes is enough to send a chill down claire's spine.

blue hues remain on them as she kneels, hands balancing on their knees as warm breath runs along their inner thighs. soft kiss are pressed on skin as one hand pushes the plate further away on the counter to make some space. "sit on here," she grunts as body lifts up, carrying ae-ri's along with hers. "i don't think i'm done with breakfast yet." teasing words come with a devilish grin, hand parting their legs once again. "will you be good for me and let me taste you?" digits run along skin as she speak, finally reaching for their panties. "or maybe you'd prefer being filled? tell me what you want."

@premxnitionn - on the kitchen counter with half-eaten plates of breakfast forgotten

[rescuefield-arch1]

sometimes it's hard to forget that despite everything the world goes on to see another day and its end is only apparent - people like her making sure of that even though for them has becomes a continuous cycle of it ending over and over. for every weight to bear on her shoulders there is someone out there being able to have something normal going on, which is more than claire would hope for.

I'M JUST TIRED. TOMORROW'S A BIG DAY. ae-ri says and it's enough to spark claire's curiosity - anything that isn't guts and blood and outbreaks genuinely being a welcoming pause from the frantic rhythm on her side of things. "big day uh?" she echoes as head nods at the few portfolios sprawled on her coffee table, blue hues setting on the few pictures visible from the chair she's sitting on. "how big are we talking? should celebrations be in order?"

[rescuefield-a]

❛  shit ,   did  someone  just  knock  on  the  door ?  ❜

body turns still as soon as loud knock shakes her bedroom door, chris' voice hard to not hear even when her mind is half lost in a familiar haze that has very little to do with whatever he's asking to her from the hallway. silence follows for a moment between her and leon when her brother's voice thunders again - claire finally understanding that he's asking if she's on board for some sour breakfast this morning.

"yeah, sure!" she responds, palm of her hand gently covering leon's lips as she remains tangled with him, not really wanting to pull away when she's finally getting comfortable under the blanket. arm pulls her partner closer before he can move anywhere from atop her, hips playfully bucking toward him as if trying to get a reaction - at this point it would just be easier to come clean about their relationship instead of hiding like two teenagers. "i'm coming in a minute!" she adds after a while, irony of chosen words not lost on claire as she effectively tries to get off faster now that she's aware of the fact that her brother is already awake.

faint 'okay' echoes from the hallway but claire has already tuned out, legs wrapping around leon's frame, bracing herself as pace quickens and hoping none of them will betray their suddenly silent activity. teeth bite on his shoulder when she finally comes undone underneath him, holding tight onto each other as if their lives depended on it. lips chase leon's for a quick kiss before he pulls away, annoyance at how their morning has been cut short clear on features. "love you. so so much." few kisses are peppered all over his face. "i'm gonna go distract chris - pretend you just came from a morning run, yeah?"

[rescuefield-a]

❝  i don’t have perfect words.  i’m not the kind of person who knows how to sound poetic and shit.  so all i know what to tell you is that i belong to you.  i don’t know if you want me.  but i’m yours.  and at this point however it is you need me,  i’m here.  ❞

last thing she expects from leon is to drop such a heavy bomb on her, during a lunch break on the most random day of the week - month and year too if she's honest, as she could have sworn this conversation was actually somewhat dreaded by both. they've never really bothered to put a label on what they had, and for most of the time claire was glad about that - one less thing to throw in the box of complications in her simply because what she's had with leon for so long might as well be one of the few things that actually feels right and not attached to some kind of problem she's supposed to fix at some point. they take care of each other and understand each other so deeply to the point it almost scares her - the mortifying ordeal of being known only reaching new highs of subtle shame mixed to familiar comfort when the person in question is also the one that owns her heart for better or worse.

gaze drops on the half empty takeaway plate of sushi rolls, chopsticks held between fingers slightly trembling as claire ponders what to say. a part of her wants to be surprised about this confession, but then again leon has always been there for her - in raccoon city when they had just met, in rockfort with a screen and miles separating them, in harvardville when her certainties were crumbling, in washington dc when her clues lead to trouble as usual. many other moments perhaps less worthy of a medal for some filled the enormous puzzle that has been their lives interwoven, so the awareness that leon has probably been breaking and bending his back to be able to spend time with her after leaving the hospital only proves one thing: she's as much his as he is hers.

"so do i." she tells him then, blue hues studying his reaction for a moment before pushing a roll in her mouth. it feels liberating in a way - to sit on the staircase leading to terrasave headquarters, a newfound hope for things going right this time perhaps because her best friend has been with her along the whole way. shoulder gently bumps into leon's before head rests on top of it, eyes watching carefully all the pedestrians walking in front of them. it makes claire wonder what kind of lives they lead, if they know what lies in the dark and ever worry everything they love will be swallowed by it just the way she does. "i think i really just need you to love me right now," she begins, still worried about being judged even though with leon it's never been the case. "because i'm not actually sure i'm doing this whole self love thing right at the moment."

[rescuefield-a]

a kiss on the forehead as the other sleeps .

claire's still uncertain about what sort of boundaries she and steve have now - they're the same people from so many years and yet completely different at the same time, whether for better or worse she's not quite sure... especially when it comes to herself.

having steve over whenever their schedules allow is something claire doesn't mind - it's a good way to catch up on lost time and learn everything about each other once again, somewhat picking up from where they had left things off back in rockfort. in this particular occasion they were just watching a movie, her favourite then his as some sort of marathon; a handful of half burned popcorn is thrown in her mouth as gaze remains glued to the screen, not really sure about her opinion on the movie but staying silent about it in order to not cause a possibly unnecessary argument. that's when her trail of thought is broken - soft snoring coming from her side finally catching her attention.

lips curl into a frown when she notices steve curled in the corner, and claire can't help but wonder if by any chance their tranquil night in was the reciper for a boring hang out - these days being social comes kinda difficult, even just five minutes in a crowd are enough to trigger a panic attack. maybe if she tried harder they could actually do something more fun than watch a screen. head shakes thoughts away as she reaches for the remote and turn off the tv.

corner of blanket is twirled between fingers as she gets up, lifting it all the way to steve to cover him. a sigh pushes past lips as fingers gently brush auburn strands from steve's forehead, leaning in just enough to press a kiss against it. "goodnight, sleep well."