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purplekiwis · 5 years ago

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“From the Dining Table” - Chapter I

Hello everyone, I’ve been enjoying reading your fics a lot, especially now with the whole quarentine thing, they never fail to bring me joy. I thought it would be fun to start writing some myself and that’s why I created this blog. I haven’t written a fic in over 10 years ( I promise I’m not that old, I was just a very imaginative child.) Anyway, I wrote this one based of a dream I had and then I realized it reminded me a lot of Harry’s song, so I just kept on going with the theme. This is a pretty long one, it’s going to be 3 Chapters. Today I’m gonna post the first one, I hope you (whoever you are that’s reading this) enjoy it and I would be super happy to get any feedback from you.❤️

You can read Chapter II here You can read Chapter III here Word Count: 8k Warnings: Angst, Cursing, Sexual References

Summary: Friends to Lovers; Y/N is a graphic designer working at a small studio in London. She lives a pretty ordinary life, considering she also happens to be friends with an internationally known musician. Which is fine... Until she finds herself having to face the feelings she developed for her friend, who's the last person she expected to fall in love with.

Chapter I - The House Party

Today was just another typical Saturday for you. You had just got out of the shower and dressed in your “sleeping clothes” - an old t-Shirt and a pair of incredibly worn out leggings, and cooked something quick for dinner, since all the plans you had for the evening, and for the rest of the weekend were to lay around the house watching movies from your watch-list and trying to keep up with the episodes of your favorite series you had missed out during the week.

However, as you were browsing through your computer, trying to figure out what Riverdale episode you hadn’t watched yet, your phone vibrated on the bedside table. You let your head fall in your hands with a weary expression, fearing that it might be one of your clients asking for changes in the work you had just delivered 2 hours ago. You tried your hardest to ignore it, for you had already decided that you were going to save the rest of the afternoon for taking care of yourself... which was a great accomplishment since you gradually and accidentally had become a bit of a workaholic.

It wasn’t something you were proud of... but you were a proper adult now and that’s just how adultwood is. Suddenly all your friends were busy with their families (can’t relate), their partners (no, can’t relate either) and their jobs (yes, you had one of those now) and you didn’t have much else to keep you entertained, so at least you tried to do something productive with your time.

Okay, maybe it was possible that you were focusing on work to try not to think about how lonely you actually felt... Especially when you found yourself rubbing your own aching back after spending the whole afternoon sitting at your desk immersed in your work. Secretly wishing somebody else was there with you besides the faces painted in the unfinished artworks laying around your flat... that were yet to be amazing pieces of art one day, according to you.

The only problem was that you couldn’t manage to get yourself to actually finish them, or even to work on them for a couple of hours. Why? You didn’t really know.

All you knew was that there was no motivaton within you to focus on the things you had once really enjoyed doing. Maybe you were too tired to have a hobby, maybe you were already over those artworks, perhaps you didn’t even like painting anymore...

The only thing that you knew for sure of was that you had became exactly who you said you would never: A young adult working for a small company with barely any social life, let alone a stable relationship, sharing a tiny apartment with her cat and the ghosts of her past dreams and aspirations. So I guess by now it’s safe to say that you were definitely focusing on your work to forget about how boring your life had become in the last few months... Even thought you really didn’t want to look at your phone, your curiosity got a hold of you and you checked it… Only to find a text from your friend Harry. Seeing his name on your phone made your heart skip a beat, as you rolled around in bed so that you could take a better look at it. It had been a while since you spoke to Harry... mostly because he had been busy, and you had been trying to avoid bothering him. Knowing damn well he would probably much rather spend his free time doing something better with his free time, since he was always busy as a bee, jumping between countries and cities whilst working on several projects simultaneously.

You considered Harry a close friend of yours... even if you didn’t talk all the time and even ghosted each other for months on occasion, until one of you broke the silence with a text or a phone call. This time, it was Harry that texted you first...

HS: What are you up to?

You: I was just about to watch Riverdale...

H.S: What is that?

You couldn’t help but to let out a little smile. Sometimes he could still surprise you with how alienated he could be from mundane stuff. You didn’t hold it against him, you knew he had a preference for oldies when it came to the movies and music he actually payed attention to.

You decided not to bug him about it, since you were far more interested in figuring out why he was randomly texting you at 9PM on a Saturday.

You : It’s just a gross teen show. What about you?

H.S: Aren’t you a bit too old for teen shows? I’m home. Been here for a couple of days, actually.

You felt a little hurt knowing that he had been home for a while and was only letting you know now, since you were usually one of the first people he wanted to see after spending long periods of time away, even if it was just to come watch the telly and catch up over bags of take-away food. You shook off the uneasy feeling. After all it wasn’t like he owed you his free time... For all you knew, he could’ve been catching up with his other friends or even have someone far more entertaining over his house.

You : Aren’t you a bit too young to be such a grandpa?

H.S : Good news is that grandpa might actually have better plans for your night.

You felt your cheeks warm as a fuzzy feeling started in your stomach. You noticed you had been smiling at your phone whilst thinking of what his plans could be, and when you finally got back to reality your cat was blankely staring at you, making you feel aware of how stupid you must have been looking. “What? You know it’s not like that!” You exclaimed to your cat, getting a little embarassed by your own mushy thoughts.

Before you could answer his text he sent you another one.

H.S: Would you like to accompany me to this thing i have? You sat straight in your bed, but almost immidiately got up to check yourself in the mirror. Yikes, you thought. There’s no way i’m going anywhere with a face like this... In the deepest, darkest part of your brain, you added: Especially not with him. You: What thing?

H.S: It’s just a boring house party. Please come!!! I need someone to talk to.

You: If you want to convince me, maybe you should consider rethinking your use of adjectives. I’m sure you do... just like all the other parties, right? 🙄

H.S: Sorry, I meant AMAZING party!!! 😊 Also, it’s not my fault everyone likes to talk to me. You : It is. You’re too nice to them.

H.S: That’s why i need you to scare them away with your moody face! Are you coming? I already asked Claire to save you seat in the car.

You looked at yourself in the mirror, kinda wishing you had known earlier because you really looked and felt too tired (and ugly, might you add) to get out of the house. Especially to go to a party where you probably knew like, 3 people in real life besides Harry. Besides, you already knew that you would feel a bit out of place there... Because no matter how hard Harry and his friends tried to make you feel included, there was always this feeling you felt... Like everyone else was judging every single thing you did. The clothes you were wearing, the way you acted with your friends, how much booze you drinked, how many crab cakes you ate, and even how much you talked, or didn’t talk... Going to these parties had undoubtedly showed you how cold and indifferent people could be about other people’s complete existence as soon as they realized they didn’t come from the entertainment industry... Harry had tried to explain to you that they didn’t flat out dislike you... It was just that they liked to test the waters before jumping into a friendship with someone from outside the industry, since most of them had already been through bad experiences when it came to that topic.

Y/N had never really ate that one up, but she decided it wasn’t worth the fuss of sharing her opinion out loud. She still remebered the first event she attended to with Harry, and how he and his friends had tried to give her advise on what she should and shouldn’t do... Something she hadn’t taken very well at the time, because it wasn’t like she didn’t know how to behave herself at a party just for being considered an “outsider”. She had been to lots of parties. Smaller ones, yes. With cheaper beverage options and far unhealthier selections of finger foods she could nibble guiltlessly on, but they were still parties nonetheless...

Luckily for you, people were starting to get used to your occasional presence at their informal house events, and you managed to get along with the majority of Harry’s mates as well, what made you feel a little more confortable... However you still always got a bit nervous before going, especially when you hadn’t seen everyone in a while, which was the case that time around...

You : I feel like i could fall asleep at any given moment, so i think i’ll have to pass this one out 😔 but maybe tomorrow we could do something?

He took a while to reply, making you wonder if he got upset at you for not wanting to go, or if he was already asking another one of his friends if they would like to go in your place... You didn’t know what option you liked the best. Eventually, you got tired of holding your phone so you put it down, a little too harshly, what made your cat tremble with the noise. “Sorry Tilly.” You whispered, as your pet got up and curled up in your lap, while you petted her gently behind her ears. “Maybe it’s better this way… right?” You asked, mostly to yourself.

Suddently you heard your phone ringing. Harry was calling you. You got up in a jump and grabbed the phone, what led to an unpleasant scratch from Tilly in your thigh. Before picking up, you stared at the screen for a few seconds, just so he didn’t think you were impatiently waiting for his reply. Yes, you were petty like that sometimes.

“Hey!”

“Hello loser!” The raspyness of his voice caught you by surprise, making you shiver. You’d almost forgot how good it sounded.

“No one uses that word anymore.”

“Who cares?” “Good point. Hm, listen… I hope you’re not mad at me for not going...” “What? You really thought I was gonna give up on you that easily?” “Oh, stop it! I’m not going! Besides, even if I wanted to go, what would I wear? I literally have like ze-” You stopped your rambling, realizing he was singing something to you over the phone, you didn’t recognize it at first, but then you realized where it was from.

“You're a mean one Mr. Grinch. You really are a heeeel… You're as cuddly as a cactus! You're as charming as an eel! Mr. Griiiinch… You're a bad banana with a… Greasy black peeeeel!”

It was a song from the last movie you had seen together when he had came home for the holidays. How The Grinch Stole Christmas. He was singing it to mock you by your choice of words, that reminded him of a particular scene of the movie. The way he was messing up the song with his gibberish made you laugh. Eventually both your laughs and his singing faded, leaving you with a huge smile on your face. “You’re an idiot, you know that?” You asked.

“Well, thank you. Now... As a way of thanking me for my… astonishing performace, you must come party with us.”

“You’ve got some nerve coming at me with that crap after you’ve abandoned me for... how long was it again? two months?”

“Hey... I’m trying to redeem myself here!” “Good! As you should.”

“Is that a yes? Please...? You’re not going to say no to me, are you?”

“It’s a maybe... a highy dependant on me finding something to wear type of maybe. First of all, is it like…fancy?”

“Hmm, not really… I think!? You never really know with these parties.”

“Trust me, I’m aware.” There was a brief silent pause on Harry’s side of the phone, as you as you rummaged through your clothes. “What are you going to wear anyway?”

“Don’t know yet. Probably like, some pants… boots… and a shirt?” Harry’s vague description didn't help whatsoever, but you were far too busy trying to disenchant a decent outfit to make light of his words. “Okay!” There was a lot of shuffling from your side, making his eyebrows furrow on the other side the line, despite your lack of knowledge. “I think I may have just found my nice pants, but I don’t know if I have a nice blouse that goes with them... or one that is fitted for the occasion. Why am I so boring with my clothes? I need to invest in a better wardrobe asap…” “You can always come by mine and borrow a shirt… Ya know, If you don’t want to stand out too much.”

“Not standing out by wearing your clothes? Now that’s funny!” “I’m sure you’ll find something wearable...”

“Are you serious? You would let me borrow your clothes?”

“Sure. If you want to.”

“I don’t know… I’m scared I’ll rip them or something.”

“I mean, I like my clothes... but it’s not like I would kill you or myself if something bad happened to them.” “You’re so humble and reasonable Mr. Styles… How did you stay like that?” You could hear him briefelly laugh at your provocation. “I’m serious! besides, I secretly always want to know how my clothes fit on different people.”

“I’m not trying to spoil it for you but probably not that good... Mostly because I’m female shaped so they won’t fit me properly… Also, I’m not sure if you’re aware but you have this gift-” “Oh, shut up! You can pull anything off.” He cut you off before you could either compliment him or put yourself down. “As long as you love it.” “We’ll see about that.” You challenged, noticeably way less hopeful than he was. “I’ll see you in… an hour and half? Is that a good time?”

“Do you want me to ask someone to pick you up?” “I’m good, thank you...” You answered, wasting little time mulling over your friend’s proposal. “But I would happily accept a parking spot in your garage…” You added suggestively, knowing he wouldn’t say no. “Sure! Anything for you.” “Thank you!” “You’re very welcome.” “Okay, well... I better go and get ready now or I’m going to show up late.” “Alright, I need to go get ready as well. See you soon. Drive safe!” “Always do.” It took you a bit more than na hour to get ready, what meant you were already running a little late, since Harry’s house was more than half an hour drive away.

You were wearing one of your favorite “going out” pants, they were black, high-waisted, carrot fitted and overwhelmingly confortable. You went for other one of your favorite pieces - a yellow silk blouse, just in case you ended up not fitting properly in any of Harry’s shirts.

You paired your outfit with oval style ankle boots you’d just recently acquired. I already know I’m going to regret this decision, you thought whilst putting them on.

You had also decided to change into a matching set of lingerie just because you never know what can happen, right? and also partially because you knew you’d be changing at Harry’s, and god forbid he actually saw anything but if he did, at least it wouldn’t be your granny underwear. You put on a neutral makeup look, throwing a couple of lipsticks into your purse, just so you could decide which one to wear depending on the color of the shirt. Finally, you put on a bit of perfume and grabbed your jacket, taking a final look in the mirror, staring at yourself from different angles. “I guess that’s about as good as it’s gonna get.” You mumbled to your reflection.

Before leaving the house, you kissed and petted your cat goodbye, however she didn’t respond to your affection since she was already asleep on top of the clothes you had just carelessly thrown on top of the bed.

You got in your car and drove off, thirty four minutes later you were turning into Harry’s street and stopping the car in front of the condominium’s gate.You took your phone out of your purse and rang him, he picked up almost immediately.

“You’re here?” “Yeah, I’m already at the gate.” “Okay, let me open it for you and I’ll be down in a second.” “Okay, thank you.” The call dropped and the large metal gate started to move, you slowly drove your way into the condo, trying to remember where the entrance to his garage was.

You didn’t have to think too hard, because a few seconds later one of the garage doors started to open and you could see a pair of impecable black leather boots that merged with the bottom of burgundy flares. Yup, no need for more searching, You thought.

You stopped the car, waiting for the gate to fully open for what seemed like an eternity, but it gave you time to fully appreciate the man that was slowly revealing himself in front of you.

You could start to see his top half now, he was wearing a simple white shirt with the sleeves rolled up, uncovering his tattooed arms. The top buttons were undone, exposing the cross necklace he always wore, he was also wearing another necklace you hadn’t seen before, his hands were hidden in his pockets, but you already knew that they would be adorned with multiple rings of all shapes and sizes. What a show off, was the tought that came to mind once his whole outfit was revealed, but you had to admit that you wouldn’t have him any other way...

Finally his head showed up, and he was wearing a big smile on his face.

“Hey you! Better hurry up before this thing closes on you.” You were so lost in his smile that you accidentally let your car die, but you were quick to start it again and as he walked aside you pulled into the garage.

When you finished parking, you got out of the car, being immediately greeted by Harry’s arms that wrapped you in a tight hug. You couldn’t help but to close your eyes to fully enjoy the moment. He smelled like his characteristic cologne, but since your head was pressed against his shoulder, you could also smell the fabric softner on his shirt and his deodorant.

“You smell nice.” You mumbled under your breath. “So do you.” He replied swiftly, resting his chin on the top of your head. He walked you to the elevator and you went up to his apartment. After many minutes of catching up in the living room he led you to his bedroom, where his closet was. “It’s a bit messy in here, I’ve been meaning to organize it, but I haven’t really had the time.” The boy said before opening its door.

You tried not to look mesmerized by the amount of clothing in front of you, because you knew that one of the things Harry hated the most was when people perceived him as shallow or vain. Luckily, most people could tell straight away that his love for fashion had a greater meaning for him than to just look nice... And even when they didn’t, it only took them about seconds of conversation with him to realize how much of a ducky and kind person he truly was. Also, fairly recently he had been getting a lot of praise for his bold fashion choices, what led to a bit of over enthusiasm from his main stylists’s part and himself when it came to investing in it.

“I promise I actually wear most of these...” He justified himself, noticing the enthralled expression you genuinely believed you were managing to disguise.

“Oh, don’t mind me!” You giggled. “I’m just slightly overwhelmed by the number of choices before me.” “Well, take all the time you need.” Harry smiled, sitting over the edge of his bed and unlocking his phone to check the time. It was already past midnight. As you finally gained courage to start going through his clothes, he let his back fall on the bedspread with a sigh and stared at the ceiling, and that’s when you decided you couldn’t possibly not try to mess with him a little bit. “Stupid… Ugly… Out of date…” (Reference (01:20-01:24)

“Hey! Stop it, will you?!” He sat up again, supporting his upper body with his elbows that rested firmly on his lap. “Have you found my dress yet?”

You peeked through the open closet to with a curious expression on your face. “No… Where is it?” you asked, disappearing behind the door and enthusiastically searching his closet for the item, suddently grabbing something that kinda looked like a dress, yet kinda looked like a curtain. “Is this it?” You asked, stepping out of the closet, holding the hanger in front of you.

“It’s not a dress, it’s a kilt... Sicko!” (Reference (01:13-01:18)

“Really? You had that one coming for a long time didn’t you?” You disdainfully smiled, shaking your head in disapproval. You could tell from his little smirk that he was proud of successfully tricking you into his joke. “Yeah, I was hoping you would find it and ask about it, but you didn’t so I had to find a way to deliver the line anyway.”

“Okay, but for real why do you have a wedding dress in your closet?” You turned the hanger to see the strange garment from the front.

“Cause I’m cool like that.”

“You know what? It’s actually not as ugly as it seemed at first sight...”

“Well, I would hope so ‘cause it was bloody expensive.” At the sound of his words you were quick to carefully hang it back in it’s place, gently rubbing the fabric to avoid any crinkles.

You kept looking through his clothes and ended up finding a almost sheer shirt that you liked. It was rusty orange with a psychadelic flower pattern that looked quite unique. Taking advantage of the fact that Harry was laying down and distracted on his phone and freed yourself of your blouse in a swift motion, trying on his shirt on as fast as you could. It fitted you quite nicely to your surprise. “So, have you found anything you like yet?” Your friend asked, with his eyes still stuck on his phone.

“Actually yes, but I could use your help… How would you style this?” He sat up again and focused his attention on you. “How come you end up finding the one shirt I don’t actually remember owning?”

He admired you from the bed, letting is head fall to the side a bit, you could feel his eyes stuck on your figure, what made you feel a bit unconfortable and insecure about your body. His expression changed as he got up and walked towards you, making a little circle around you and finally stopping right in front of you. “May I?” He asked, reaching for the shirt.

“Yeah, go ahead.” You lifted your arms slightly so they wouldn’t get on his way. Carefully, he started adjusting the shirt, slipping it inside your pants and gently pulling it out, until it fell down in a natural way.

You could feel the warmth of his hands on your skin through the fabric, what caused your breathing to get a little heavy and out of your throat came a peculiar husky sound. Luckily, he was so focused on what he was doing that he didn’t even acknowledged it.

Feeling a bit flustered due to his proximity, you decided to break the silence. “You look so different now that you cut your hair…”

“Well, isn’t that kind of the point of changing your hair? Why are you complaining? Do you not find me cute anymore?” “Who lied to you and told you I ever thought you were cute?” Harry looked up at you with disdainful expression once his green eyes met yours. You could feel your cheeks getting warmer by the second. “Well you’re wrong because I am, in fact, very attractive.” He looked down again and undid one of the buttons of the shirt, what left a bit of the black lace of your bra showing. “What are you doing?” You asked in a startled tone. “Just trust me.” “Umm… Fine, I guess.” You shrugged as he stepped back to admire his work. His focused expression broke into a proud smile as he moved to the side, uncovering the mirror just so you could see yourself. You looked hot, there’s no other way to put it. The color of the shirt complimented your skin tone beautifully, as well as the golden necklace that fell over your chest in a sensual way, capturing attention to your stripped neckline. “You look cuter than me, I can't have that... Come on, we’re switching. Take it off, now.” Your handsome friend complained in a frisky tone, grabbing at the hem of his shirt as if he was about to pull it off. “I could never…” You challenged, feeling quite shy after his compliment. “Well, apparently you can.” “You look amazing though...” You complimented back. “Love the pants.” “Really? I think they make my ass look weird sometimes.” The boy confessed, turning around so you could check his bottoms. “I think your ass’s great.” You kind of regretted the conviction you uttered that sentence with. “I mean… in those pants.”

Harry sighed playfully. “I was enjoying the compliment, why did you have to ruin it?”

“Fine, you can take the compliment then.” You granted easily. “Shouldn’t we get going? I’m sure it’s pretty late already…” “Ready?” “Yes, let me just…” You ran to your purse, picking one of the lipsticks you had brought with you, applying it in front of the mirror while the charming man shoved his essential belongings into the pockets of his matching blazer and put it on, completing the look. You noticed he was observing you with curiosity as you tinted your lips in a dark shade of brick orange. “Let’s go missy.” The boy rushed as you locked eyes with him through the mirror. **

Even though you offered to drive to Claire’s house, he insisted on taking his car because he hadn’t driven in a while and wanted to before he got “rusty”. As he was driving, you inquired him about who was hosting the party you were going to, since all he’d told you was that you were meeting your friends at Clare’s house and from there you would share a car, so that the whole group would get there together.

To your surprise, when faced with your question he got quiet and you noticed his expression changing, he briefely took his eyes off the road to look at you and you could practically see the guilt in this face. “What is it?” You asked, wondering what he could be acting so weird about.

“Hum yeah, about that…” He began to stammer, keeping his eyes stuck to the road.

“Just tell me it’s not what I think it is.” “Before you say anything, I know you’ll probably want to kill me right now…” “Harry!” “I knew you wouldn’t have come if I told you... It’s going to be fun, I promise! She’s not as bad as you think she is.” “No Harry!” You fretted. “You know what? Just stop the car, I want to go home.”

“Well, I’m afraid that’s not going to happen.”

“I’m not kidding Harry.” “I’m not dropping you off in the middle of the fucking freeway.”

“Yes you are!” “No, I’m not.” He kept driving and you let your body slip through the seat, crossing your arms in silence, resenting him for almost five minutes while he tried to convince you of how Alexa was way nicer than you thought and that she wasn’t really a bitch, it was just that her sense of humor could be a little off-putting sometimes. The way he was defending her made you feel even angrier, even though you weren’t really listening.

In your head all you could think about was all the times you had the unpleasant surprise of bumping into Alexa. She was such a bitch! Always finding a way to put you down and make you feel embarassed. She even came up with a stupid nickname for you at Harry’s birthday party that she always made sure to use, even though she must’ve known you hated it. “Just so you know, when we get to Claire’s I’m getting a cab and going home.”

“Fine.” He jerked his shoulders dismissively. “If you want to miss out on a great time with our friends, it’s up to you.” “When she’s there it’s never really a good time for me so I guess I’m good.” “Come on…” Harry huffed, shifting his gaze off to road for a moment to check on his muddled friend. “Everyone was so excited to see you...” You were mad that he lied to you, but you were madder that you had gotten all dressed up and now you weren’t going. You also missed your mutual friends and hanging out with them. You kept weighting the pros and the cons throughout the rest of the drive, and when you got to Claire’s house, after a little convincing from the group, you decided you were not going to let the fact that it was Alexa’s party ruin the night for you.

You were still mad at Harry though. And having to go on another car trip with him, feeling his body pressing up against yours whenever there was a turnabout, wasn’t making it easy for you to keep your cool.

As you finally got to Alexa’s house you could tell the house was packed by the number of cars parked outside, making you feel relieved you had a driver, because if you had to find a place to park it would’ve been a nightmare.

There was a group of people lining up, and as you got closer you noticed two men by the door checking for the guests names on a list. You started to get worried that your friends might have omitted to Alexa that you were going, since you were almost certain that your presence wouldn’t please her any better than it did to you. You eyed their faces, looking for any sign of concern, however they seemed calm.

As you walked the line, you started to get more and more nervous, ending up momentarily swallowing your pride and pulling at Harry’s sleeve, in hopes of getting his attention without the rest of the group noticing. “Does Alexa know I’m coming to her party?” You asked as quietly as you could.

“Of course she does! I told her myself.”

“What did she say?”

He didn’t get to answer your question because he was approached by the doorkeeper, that asked him for his name. Harry politely greeted him before answering his question and being such a gentleman, he provided the names of the other members of the group.

The doorkeeper checked the names on the list and to your surprise your name was actually there. He allowed the group to get inside. All of you murmuring a brief “thank you” as you walked past the big guy.

The door led to a giant lounge style living room, that seemed to be where the focus of the party was. To your right, there were three big windows, each with it’s own balcony, where small groups of people gathered to enjoy a smoke and the beautiful view of the city. In the middle of the room there was an open dance space, demarked by an enormous persian carpet, that was still pretty empty despite the fact the DJ was already playing.

Behind the dance area there were two long tables, practically stuffed with different types of alcoholic beverages. It had to be one of the most diverse open bars you had ever seen at a house party. From the ceiling fell party ribbons and lights, and the walls were adorned with baloons and paper decorations. You tried to decipher the color of the objects around you, but it was almost impossible due to the color changing lights that provided an hallucinogenic athmosphere to the space.

You looked around, trying to familiarize yourself with your surroundings. As your eyes scanned the place, they found couple of familiar faces, but they froze at a well-known face in the kitchen.

There was Alexa… She was sitting over the counter, scrolling on her phone. Her glossy lips rested on the edge of the paper cup she was holding. The light from the screen illuminated her face, making her glittery eyeshadow pop behind the thick lashes that she was wearing. She was dressed in a two-toned metallic mini dress and knee-high platform boots. You could tell from her expression that she was distressed about something. Her stillness gave you the opportunity to study her face. Her features were quite angelical, something you had never noticed before.

The sound of something scattering on the kitchen floor woke her up from her daydream as she turned around to curse at whoever opened the kitchen cabinet. Yup, there’s the bitch, You mused to yourself.

She jumped off the counter and walked out of the kitchen, making her way around the groups of people that were chattering by the door. She walked around the living room, trying to greet the people she hadn’t seen yet.

Your eyes briefly met hers before she approached your friends. They went for a group hug, in which you didn’t participate. Instead, you awkwardly stared at them while they hugged and chatted. Harry looked back at you, encouraging you to join them with an eye motion, you let out a sigh and moved closer to the group, what caught Alexa’s attention. “Hi Nutmeg! I haven’t seen you in a hot minute…” She greeted you by kissing the air next to your cheek, before looking you up and down. “I see you’ve upgraded your closet... It was about time.” The beautiful girl remarked, focusing her attention on the shirt you were wearing.

You found yourself side-eyeing Harry, trying your hardest to ignore her taunting words. “I swear I’ve seen that somewhere... what brand is it?” Her question startled you. Prompting your head to tilt towards Harry, realizing he had mirrored the gesture to stare at you. You stood there staring at each other, both of you wishing you could read his mind. “Is there something I’m missing?” Alexa questioned, suspicious of your odd behaviour.

“No, not at all!” Harry was quick to intervene. “I’m gonna go for a drink, anyone wants to join me?” He suggested, clearly attempting to brush off the topic.

“I’ll go get the drinks.” You volunteered, taking the chance to escape and ditch Alexa’s question.

“Will you get me some jack and coke?” The girl requested, handing you her freshly empty cup. “Thanks.” She added when you grabbed it from her hand. It was probably the only time you actually felt pleased to fix Alexa a drink. “Harry, what do you want?” You called his attention back to you, upon realizing he was already engaged into conversation with someone you didn’t know.

“Double Tequila, please.” You raised your brows at his choice of beverage. Already knowing that when he started the night with Tequila he would, most likely, end up drunk out of his mind. But you didn’t bother to try to coarce him into switching to something else. “Do you need an extra hand?” He offered out of politeness.

“It’s fine, I’m sure I can handle it.” You spat as you left, not wanting to interrupt his conversation again.

As the night went on, people started to gather mainly around the dance space, that was proving itself to be a little too small for the large amount of people using it. You were having a good time, but you were definitely not enjoying the feeling of getting rubbed all over by everyone around you. Harry, on the other hand, didn’t seem bothered whatsoever. And as you predicted, he was already pretty out of it, prancing around the place and carelessly engaging into conversation with everyone who approached him, including people you knew he shit talked behind their back... The fake little bitch...

You tried not to care, but you couldn’t keep yourself from constantly checking on him to see what he was up to. You weren’t the only one who couldn’t keep your eyes away from him.. What wasn’t unnusual, since he was such a natural attention-grabber. Howbeit, there were several girls and boys that were practically drooling at the sight of him. That wasn’t new either, but it didn’t make it any less annoying...

When the boy finally made his way back to the group, he tried to convince you to dance with him by grabbing your hand and making you spin for him. You graciously brushed him off. Mostly out of shyness, persuading him into asking your friend John instead. He agreed on the spot... And once he finally managed to get his friend to bend at his will, they got everyone laughing and cheering, encouraging them to keep up with the tango dance moves. But it wasn’t long until the two boys had enough of the attention, laughing it off and joining the group again.

Then a figure rose above the crowd. It was Alexa, who has just stood up on a table holding a microphone in her hand that she was slowly tapping on, attempting to grab everyone’s attention. “Hello, hello, hello my magnificent friends. How is everyone feeling tonight?” She asked, earning a loud cheer from the crowd, that she encouraged by clapping silently before speaking again. “Alright, alright... can y’all can shut the fuck up now? …I just wanted to say that I hope everyone is getting drunk and having a great time. You know me, I gotta be real with you… There are some people here I’d much rather had stayed home, but you know what? You don’t really bother me.” The girl shrugged haughtily. “With that said, I’d like to propose a toast to every single one of you motherfuckers that came to my party. Cheers, bitches!” She yelled the last two words, emptying her cup in a single swig while the crowd cheered and downed their own cups along with the host.

The fact that Alexa let you in had given you the impression that maybe Harry was right about her, but her speech left a bad taste in your mouth and made you wonder if you were one of the people she was talking about, you were almost certain you were. “What did you say earlier about her being a nice person?” You ironically asked Harry, that was standing right beside you.

Your eyes were still stuck on her as you wondered if she would manage to get down from the table without falling. You secretly hoped she wouldn’t.

He failed to answer your question, so you turned to him. Only to realize that he wasn’t there anymore. Your eyes quickly danced around the room, searching for your missing friend, and unfortunatly it wasn’t long until they found him...

Your whole body went cold, feeling your heart sink in your chest. Your vision felt blurry, and there was a complicated knot forming at the tip of your stomach. There he was. Barely six feet away from you. With his back flush against a wall and his lips pressed harshly on somebody else’s. His hands gently caressed up the other boy’s back, that had his hands firmly clutched onto your friend’s hair and the back of his neck.

You felt like your whole world was crashing down in front of you.

Whilst everyone around you was enjoying themselves, all you wanted to do was collapse to your knees and scream your confusing pain away, but you couldn’t. There was nothing you could do and it just fucking hurt.

You’d always known it would eventually happen... But nothing could ever prepare you for the feeling of watching the person you love fondling somebody else.

In the middle of your agony, you noticed a pair of hazel eyes staring right at you from distance, breaking your attention from the heartbreaking scene. “Yo... What the fuck?!” You couldn’t hear her words, but you could read them clearly through the motion of her lips. She looked completely baffled by the state of you.

You stepped back, attempting your best to muffle into the crowd, but it was too late... You were certain she’d saw the devastated look on your face, and the glistening tear that rolled down your cheek afterwards.

You turned your back on the scene and pushed through the crowd, hidding your face as you stumbled upon almost everyone on your way to��the bathroom. You locked yourself inside and leaned against the door, finally letting it all out as you sobbed uncontrollably and allowed for your body to slide down the surface, until your knees met the cold marble floor.

A unexpected loud banging on the door startled you. “It’s occupied.” Y/N shouted, in the most composed voice she could fabricate.

“It’s Alexa... open the door.” The girl shouted back impatiently.

“Fuck off Alexa!” You could feel your blood boil and your hands trembling at the mere sound of her voice. “Just leave me alone, will you?”

There was silence for a moment, before she banged on the door harder. You tried to ignore it because considering your state, at the slighest provocation you’d probably lose it and punch her in the face. “Don’t be a fucking bitch, I’m here to help.” Alexa shouted again, but it was pointless. “Okay, fine. I guess I’ll have to ask someone to kick the door down...”

“Don’t you fucking dare.”

“It’s my house. What are you going to do about it?” She challenged, knowing you couldn’t fight her on that. “You have three seconds… one...two…” You flang the door open before she could finish her countdown, causing her to tremble ever so slightly. “Quite the charm, aren’t you?” She sighed satirically, making her way inside the bathroom while fixing her dress. You noticed she was holding a bottle of Bacardi rum, that she promptly opened and handed to you. You stood there perplexedly looking at her, trying to figure out what her intentions were. “Are you going to take it or not?” At that, you abruptly grabbed the bottle from her hand and took it to your lips, taking a big chug and giving it back with a disgusted expression caused by the intense alcohol sting. Alexa took the bottle to her lips as well, but unlike you, her face didn’t even flinch. “What did you come here for?” The sharpness of your tone led her into giving you a dirty look “What do you think? That I came in here to make fun of you?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if you did.” “Just thought you could use a friend...” She explained, jumping on her bum to sit on the countertop. “And luckily for you, so do I.”

“Judging by the number of people outside, I’m sure you have plenty of friends.”

She let out a silent wheeze at your guess. “Everything isn’t always what it seems, Nutmeg… I have people that keep me company, but when it comes down to the real shit, I have no one I can count with really…”

“I’m finding that quite hard to believe if I’m honest…” “I know you are. So is everyone else. They all assume my life is just perfect. After all, I have everything, don’t I? I don’t blame them... I know I can be cruel and bitter sometimes, but I’m not the cold-hearted, super confident bitch everyone thinks that I am.” “Why are you telling me all that?”

“I don’t know… Maybe ‘cause I’m drunk and lonely and you’re one of the few people here that I actually like…” You couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of her mouth. “You’re messing with me, right?” She, on the other hand, seemed rather confused by your apprehensiveness. “I appreciate people like you... Who manage to stay true to themselves despite hanging out with these people. It’s so easy to lose yourself in this environment... But I don’t think you did, and I can appreciate that.”

“I’m just lucky to have good friends... If they were different, I don’t know if I’d stayed so nice and humble.”

As the silence settled, you took the chance to sit down on the edge of her expensive looking bathtub. “So… changing the subject. You and Harry, what’s the deal?”

“What do you mean?” You pretended you didn’t know what she was implying, hoping she would let go of the topic.

“I’m not stupid. I saw the way you looked when he was all over that guy… I confess I had no idea that you were into him. I thought you liked girls, I could almost swear he had told me that.” Her words made your stomach twist, and Alexa didn’t miss your distressed expression. “Sorry... I’m not very good with words. I didn’t mean to make it worse.” The girl added, trying to make up for her cold stance. “Here...” She handed you back the bottle, and you agreeably to a swig from it. “Does he know?”

“I don’t think so...” “I don’t mean to be unpleasant but I think he thinks you’re a lesbian.” “Yeah, I know… he’s not completely wrong, I guess.” “So, you’re bi?” “I don’t really know what I am.” “Oh, it’s okay. You don’t have to be anything, you can just be… yourself!” You locked eyes with her, briefely smiling at her motivational words “How long have you fancied him for?”

“I don’t know...” You stared down at your own feet. “Thinking back, I guess I always kind of have... but it’s complicated. So I just hoped it would go away with time... Besides, you’ve seen the people he gets with. They’re all gorgeous, and I... I mean, I don’t really meet the standards, do I?” “And how’s that working out for you?” You went quiet, since you didn’t really have a good answer to give. “Okay, here’s what I think you should do. First of all, you gotta stop with the self loathing. It’s depressing and outdated. You’re just as valid as everyone else.”

“It’s not self loathing. You don’t understand… What if he pushes me away? I really care for our friendship and I don’t want to throw it all away because of a stupid crush.” “A stupid crush? Didn’t you just say you’ve always liked him? How long have you known eachother for? Three years?” “Well… Two and half, but it’s not like I’ve been waiting for him… I’ve had my fair share of relationships and so did he, I never did anything to change that. Why would I start now?” “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because you’re at a party, locked inside a bathroom, crying over him, while he’s out there screwing somebody else.” “God, you’re certainly are awful with words aren’t you?” “I take pride in my honesty.” She stated. “Look, all I can say is that I think this whole “crush” situation is, obviously, far more than a crush... And you know I’m right so don’t even bother to deny it. Therefore, I think it’s long overdue that you do something about how you feel, otherwise you’re just gonna be stuck wondering on the what ifs forever, watching him live his life while you’re unable to move on with your yours, and you deserve better than that. Anyone deserves better than that.” “It’s just… scary.” “Isn’t everything worth trying always somewhat scary at first?” You ended up spending the rest of the night with Alexa. Sitting inside her large empty bathtub, sharing your shittiest life experiences and drowning your sorrows with the bottle of rum. She told you about her crazy ex-boyfriend, and how he had been making her life a living hell since their break up. Showing up uninvited at her work, her parties, and practically everywhere she went, despite her telling him time and time again to stop and leave her alone. You advised her the best you could, but as you expected, she was pretty stubborn and acted as if she had everything under control, even though she clearly did not. The night had taken a unexpected turn for you, however, at least there was something positive you could also take from it, that being the friendship that was beggining to fluorish between you and Alexa.

You were so deep in conversation that you completely lost track of time, so much that you finally felt tired and decided to check you phone for the time, it was already 6AM.

You had seven missed calls and fifteen text messages from your friends asking where you were, if you were okay and if you were still leaving with them. You realized they had probably already left, so you just apologized for leaving early and informed them that you were fine. When you and Alexa got out of the bathroom, there were still a couple of people hanging around, but as expected, the vast majority had already left.

The light coming from the windows hurt your tired eyes and your bottom half was hurting from spending so many hours sitting inside a bathtub. By that time, all you wanted to do was go home, take a shower and take a nap to make up for the all nighter you pulled, but then you remembered…

“Shit!”

“What?”

“I left my car at Harry’s house.”

I hope you’re enjoying it so far! Chapter II is hereeee!

#one direction #one direction imagines #one direction imagine #one direction x reader #1d #solo 1d #harry styles #solo harry #"harr #harry #harry styles fic #harry styles fine line #harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #imagine #imagines #fanfic #fanfiction #harry styles fanfiction

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stevie-scoops · 5 years ago

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Crush On You (Steve Harrington x Reader)

hi! so, i made a post about starting up a ST imagine blog a little while ago, but then life got in the way and i didn’t really write anything. but!! given the fact that we really shouldn’t be leaving our houses right now, i had a little time to throw something together! this is the first thing i’ve written in about a year, and the first thing i’ve ever written for stranger things, so i’m sorry if it isn’t great, but i’m as satisfied with it as i figure i ever will be! please let me know what you think!

Warnings: none

“I’m about to go on break. You want me to bring you back anything?” you asked your coworker, Jess, stepping out from behind the register.

She smiled as she restocked the last shelf and took your position over.

“No thanks. I’m sure you’re going to spend the whole time at Scoops, and I’m lactose intolerant.”

“I don’t spend my whole break there.” you defended. “I can stop and grab you a pretzel or something on my way back.”

“I’m good. Tell Steve I said hi, though.” She teased, giving you a knowing look as you felt your face heat up a little.

You adjusted your hair to better cover your reddened ears as you walked out of the store and made your way towards the food court.

----

Robin leaned against the back counter, watching as Steve wiped and re-wiped the area around the register, glancing up towards the entrance every few seconds.

“Dude, would you relax?” she said, eating a handful of peanuts she snagged from the toppings jar. “She’s come in every day for like, two months. You’re acting like a weirdo.”

“Yeah, but today’s different.” Steve said, slinging the rag over his shoulder and turning around to face his friend.

Robin raised an eyebrow at him and popped another nut in her mouth.

“I’m gonna ask her today.”

“You were going to ask her last week, too. And the week before that.”

“I mean it this time, though. I’m not chickening out again.”

Robin laughed as she chewed the last of her snack, dusting the salt off her hands.

“Sure you’re not.”

“I mean it, Rob. Have a little faith in me.”

“Okay, fine. But this is the absolute last time I’m even going to slightly believe in you. If you don’t do it today, I’m asking her out myself.”

Steve rolled his eyes.

“You don’t even know if she likes girls.”

“Do you really know that she likes guys?” Robin countered.

Steve shot her a glare.

“All I’m saying is at least I’m man enough to actually ask her.”

“You don’t even like her like that!”

“She’s cute,” Robin said with a shrug. “I wouldn’t mind taking her to a movie or something.”

“That is, that’s,” Steve shook his in disbelief, “That’s breaking the unwritten law of friendship! You can’t do that!”

“Then you better make your move soon, dude.” Robin said simply, looking over Steve’s shoulder out the front of the store.

Steve turned around and saw you walking across the food court, headed straight for the shop.

“It’s now or never.” Robin said before pushing off the counter and heading into the back.

Steve took a deep breath and straightened his uniform.

He could do this.

----

Your stomach fluttered as you approached Scoops.

You felt a little silly for it; you came here every single day you worked, always opting to get ice cream and a Coke for lunch instead of something more balanced. But every day without fail, you felt a giddy anxiousness when you walked into the shop. The effects of your dumb little schoolgirl crush, the likes of which you hadn’t felt since juinor high until you first entered the little parlor a couple of months ago.

But now you felt like you were thirteen again, fantasizing about the dreamy guy in the dorky sailor uniform day in and day out, thinking about his bright smile and soft hair while you lay in bed staring at the ceiling and listening to your favorite cheesy records. Maybe it was weird, how much you thought about him, but you couldn’t help it. Everything about him was just so… infatuating.

You pushed the thoughts from your head as you crossed the threshold, smiling brightly at the boy behind the counter.

“Ahoy, Y/N!” he called out, making you laugh.

“Ahoy, Steve.” you returned, stepping up to the case and feigning interest at the day’s flavors. “How are you today?”

“Pretty good. It’s been slow today, nice change of pace.”

“Yeah,” you agreed, “Claire’s was a madhouse during spring break. I’m glad it’s over.”

Steve nodded.

“Tell me about it. The amount of kids in here last week, running around with their sticky little hands touching everything was overwhelming. Not super looking forward to this afternoon either, though. A lot of parents bring their kids in on Friday afternoons as a reward or something.”

“Yikes. I’m so glad I don’t work in food service.”

Silence fell between the two of you, slightly uncomfortable, as you looked in the case.

“Hey, uh, I was wondering,” Steve started abruptly, causing you to look up, but he seemed to freeze up once your eyes met.

“Yes?” you prompted when he hadn’t continued speaking.

“I-I was wondering if you, uh,”

You bit your lip as your brain filled in his unfinished sentence with a suggestion that made your stomach twist in a hopeful way. You’d thought about this moment for so long, dreamed about it a hundred different times, never quite feeling like it could actually happen.

“If you liked peanut butter?”

“What?” your expression dropped and you felt stupid for getting your hopes up.

“We’ve got a new flavor in, peanut butter with fudge swirl and cookie chunks. It’s pretty good.”

“Oh, uh, yeah. That sounds great.” you smiled at him but it didn’t quite reach your eyes.

You watched silently as he dished two scoops of ice cream into the red and white styrofoam bowl, feeling progressively worse.

He slid the container across the counter and you handed him $3.50, the cost of your “lunch” every day.

“Enjoy the rest of your day.” you told him, hoping he couldn’t hear the disappointment in your voice.

“Yeah, you too. See you later.”

You gave him another fake smile before grabbing your ice cream and leaving.

----

“Are you an idiot or what?” Robin asked, busting out of the back as soon as you left the store.

“I just couldn’t do it. What if she said no?” Steve sighed, rubbing a hand over his face.

“Are you kidding? She was clearly upset, I couldn’t even see her and I could tell.”

“What?”

Robin rolled her eyes at him.

“You’re a special kind of stupid, Harrington. It was clear in her voice that she was expecting something else from you. She was hoping you’d ask her out and, for some reason, she was disappointed that you didn’t.”

Steve looked at her skeptically.

“How do you know?”

Robin let out a long, frustrated groan.

“She obviously likes you, dingus! She comes in here every day. Do you think she really wants to eat ice cream for lunch five times a week?” Steve opened his mouth to reply, but Robin cut him off. “No, she doesn’t! She comes in here to see you. She spends three and a half dollars every day just to talk to you, and now she thinks you don’t like her.”

“Well, why didn’t you tell me that before?” Steve asked, feeling a mixture of hope and guilt swirl inside him.

“I very heavily implied it. I pushed you and gave you as much incentive as I could to ask her and you still didn’t do anything.”

“How was I supposed to know? I mean, I’m not a mind reader! I don’t understand why you wouldn’t just tell me. Seriously, I-” Steve began to argue, before suddenly realizing “She forgot her Coke.”

----

“I don’t know, I guess it’s stupid that I’m acting all hurt over it. It’s not like he did literally anything to insinuate that he had any interest in me. He’s way out of my league anyway.” you sighed, poking at your ice cream with your spoon. You didn’t even actually like peanut butter that much.

“It’s not stupid.” Jess assured you, “Seriously, it’s totally normal that your feelings are a little hurt. I mean, I don’t really know the guy myself, but I kinda got the sense that he was into you. And he’s not out of your league.”

You shrugged and leaned back in the stool behind the counter, letting your head fall against the wall.

“I’m like, a six on a good day. And he’s-”

“About to walk into the store.”

“What?” you sat up quickly, nearly dropping your ice cream and toppling out of the stool as Steve entered the store, looking terribly out of place amongst the vibrantly colored scrunchies and charm bracelets hanging from the displays.

“Uh, hey?” you greeted, but it came out sounding more like a question.

“Hey,” he returned with a nervous smile. “You, uh, forgot your Coke.”

“Oh, uh, thanks. I didn’t even realize.”

You sat your bowl down to take the can from his outstretched hand.

He didn’t say anything, just looked around the store, his eyes never settling in one particular spot.

“Well, um, thanks.” you told him again after several long seconds of uncomfortable silence. “You didn’t have to bring it all the way over here.”

“Well, just. You paid for it, y’know?”

You nodded, watching as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Is that… all?” you asked, confused as to why exactly he was still standing there.

“Yes. Well,” he stood up a little straighter and took another step closer to the counter. “No, actually. I wanted to know if you were free this weekend? And if you were, to ask if you maybe wanted to go out? With me, I mean.”

You stared at him for a few moments, unsure whether or not this was actually happening, only brought out of your thoughts by your coworker gesturing at you from behind Steve in a Hello?? fashion.

“I- Yes. Yes, absolutely. I would love that.” you replied finally, smiling at him.

You could see him physically relax at your response, a crooked grin replacing the look of apprehension on his face.

You tore off a piece of receipt paper from the register and scribbled your phone number down on it.

“Call any time after seven.”

“Awesome. I’ll talk to you tonight.”

You nodded, handing him the slip of paper.

“I’ll be looking forward to it.”

He left the store with a wave and a smile, and a promise to call you that evening.

“See!” your coworker said excitedly, rushing to the counter. “I told you! I’m never wrong about this kind of thing.”

You rolled your eyes at her but the smile didn’t leave your face.

----

Steve bounced back into Scoops, flourishing the paper with your number on it over his head for Robin to see.

“She said yes!” he laughed. “She gave me her number and told me to call her tonight. Holy shit, Rob! This is actually happening! Do you have any idea how long I’ve been dreaming about this?”

He watched as she reached through the partition, bringing out the whiteboard and putting a tally underneath both the “YOU SUCK” and the “YOU RULE” sides, making it 5:1.

“What?? Why do I suck?” he asked incredulously, looking at his friend in disbelief.

“Because you screwed it up the first time.”

“That’s not fair!”

“It’s not fair that you sent her back to work with shattered dreams, either.”

“Oh, come on.” he scoffed, “I think you’re being a little dramatic.”

“Maybe.” She shrugged. “We’ll see how you do on the actual date. Maybe you can make it five to two.”

#steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x reader #stranger things imagine #stranger things #steve harrington

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alphinias · 6 years ago

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TGD 2x13 Xin Reactions/Review

-Got my Dr Pepper, got myself some snacks, and I’m back for more after aftermath!

-Oh, shoot. Lea’s boytoy is rummaging in Shaun’s fridge. And SHOOT he’s been back for two weeks in a row? I’m not surprised that she’s dating him, because I’ve been waiting for this to happen, but yikes.

-This whole thing is so uncomfortable. He wanted OJ and Lea so clearly wants to keep him away from Shaun. Poor boy is being so sweet about this because he DID agree that he’d be fine if this happened but I can tell this is gonna errupt before the end of the ep.

-Doesn’t look like Glassy is having a good morning :( I definitely feel like he’s going to be a goner in this season finale. Just me?

-Lmao Claire’s teasing Park about his “new gf”. This is so cute. She’s everyone’s listening ear.

-Melendaire is working the same patient? I’m down!!

-And nowwww Limendez is in the elevator- Thank god for Andrews interrupting! I’ve never said those words before. I’m seriously laughing at the fact that they haven’t even had an on screen kiss before.

-Now this is getting weird. “I don’t have a sister?” What you mean?

-Oh now this is getting tense lmao.

-OMFG this girl is trying to get laid before her surgery?! Umm good for you girl I guess. Now she’s asking if the blinds close and this scene might just kill me

-This mom is being a b*tch. I fully expected the daughter to be the annoying one but I was wrong.

-LSDKFJSLJKF I thought this Lea scene was a freaking commercial. On one hand I’m screaming because Lea and her boytoy are getting a sex scene and we still haven’t even seen Limendez, two much more important characters than this rando guy, actually kiss and that is HILARIOUS, but on the other hand I’m also screaming because Lea and her boytoy are getting a sex scene and my Shea shipper heart-

-SHAUN AT THE DOOR

-SEX ISN’T ON THE NOT ALLOWED BEFORE PRE OP LIST lmao

-Why tf does this adopted daughter keep trying to start fights with the real daughter? I get it, she’s pissed, but the real daughter is being nice and this is really not the time to lecture?? HELLO

-Lmao Lim is here for sex with no emotional baggage. I know it’s just a front and blah blah blah but let me enjoy this moment!

-I feel like Morgan is a secret romantic and I’m digging it.

-Well, that Shaun and Glassman scene was the definition of a downer.

-”My life is better with you”

-I’m not saying Shea is one of my all time OTPs or anything, but how do people hate them? Come on. They are adorable and genuine, and they are getting much better development this season than they were last season.

-Speaking of OTPs, this autistic couple is Morgan’s. She loves them.

-And Shaun loves Lea. I’m just saying.

-Oh gosh is something gonna be wrong with Glassman.... WHERE IS HE??

-Okay he’s on the floor which is no good but he’s alive and this scene is pitiful. Why does a song playing mean my soul is about to be destroyed on this show?

-omfg Shaun is getting high in the promo for next week WHAT IS THIS?!

I enjoyed this episode! Could’ve had a bit more Claire, but I’ll live. I guess she did have a pretty heavy focus on her in the early parts of the season.

#the good doctor #tgd #shaun murphy #lea dilallo #shea #claire browne #neil melendez #melendaire #morgan reznick

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ouremptysinks-blog · 6 years ago

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Star In The Dark

Chapter 1

Characters: Steve Rogers X OC (Hailey Beaumont), OC’S Mom, The Avengers, Nick Fury, Phil Coulson, Matt Murdock, A CUTE AF EMT/PARAMEDIC ( I don’t know who else for rn sooo?) Summary: A young woman with too many talents gets recruited to be a part of the Avengers. (yep that's it. I’m not spilling anything else.) Warnings: Lots of swearing, some angst, self-depreciation, eating disorders, depression, anxiety, anxiety attacks, panic attacks, okay maybe a lot of angst, daddy issues(not the sexual kind yall!) (please lemme know if I missed something!)

Words: 2376

A/N: So I’m crying, this is my first fic and I'm so scared yallssss please reblog and comment and PLEASE JUST REEEADDD AND AHHHHHH! DM ME WITH FEEDBACK OR JUST URGHFHJH FEEDBACK PLEASE JELLIES!! Also please don’t bother requesting smut, I won’t write it

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“Honey, could you please go into my office and grab the white file in the second drawer in my desk? I need it in an hour so please could you make your way here now? I’ll give you the money you need for the tech thing you want so bad! But please hurry!” my mother hung up.

The woman was amazing at what she did but she was so forgetful, I was amazed at how she hadn't lost her position even after 25 years. My mom worked for S.H.E.I.L.D., she was high up in the ranks. That was all I knew, well actually that’s all they think I know. You see, I’m a pretty techy gal. I am so sorry, did I seriously just say ‘gal’? Okay yeah so I am very into the tech-verse and yeah I’m very aware that my mom works very closely with Coulson and whatnot but you don’t know that either okay! Now shush I have to go! Before you ask, yes I do know where they are because as her immediate and only family. I was to come to S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters if anything were to ever go wrong. If you asked me, S.H.E.I.L.D. was the last place we should be at. With all the rogue agents and undercover Hydras. Shit. YOU DON'T KNOW THAT EITHER OKAY! While I was spilling dirt that only I know, you didn't notice me start the car, did you? I hated going to S.H.E.I.L.D. so much. It was such a headache to get there. The idiots made it so you had to take about 120 backroads to get to the damn place. It was so stupid.

I quickly glanced at the duffel bag behind me. I wonder if I’d be allowed to use the training room? I can’t afford to miss today's workout, one workout missed meant a whole fight lost. Not that I was getting into any fights…Okay fine, I box! Erm... and it might be illegal… No one needs to know that either by the way! Snitches get stitches! Don't you dare forget! If I ever hear that you’ve let anything slip, I’m also great with weapons. That was indeed a threat, take it to heart.

I pulled up into the reserved parking space under my name. Grabbing my duffel and the white file with the big red ‘Confidential’ stamped on it, I swiped my ID into the holder. I was welcomed with a blast of air-conditioned air. They have these set to 16 degrees, and there was an air conditioner every 4 metres. The place was probably colder than Antarctica. Smiling at the receptionist I waved the file at her and she gave me a grimace.

“Lola left the files again?” she asked in a not surprised manner.

“Yep, you know how mom is.”

“Go on up sweetheart. If anyone asks, tell ‘em Susan sent you up. They can come and fight me.”

I threw my head back a little and laughed. Trying to contain my outburst, I grinned at Susan.

“I love you, Sue! I’ll bring you down a coffee, on my way back.”

“Oh honey, you don't have to! Oh, and I didn't tell you this but the training room is free from 4 till 8, so if you wanna punch some stuff, knock yourself out.” Susan whispered.

I pulled her into a small hug and then ran over to the elevators. I punched in the code and pressed on the floor number. The doors were just about to close when a not so subtle Patriotic soldier managed to place one of his feet in between the doors. He had been awake for a few months now. 3 to be exact, not that I’ve been digging or anything. I was a tad bit uncomfortable considering I looked like shit today. I looked terrible on a daily basis considering I was a fat fuck but today I was actually shit. He had taken his stance behind me, which made me x999 times more uncomfortable than I had in the beginning. I could also feel him staring which made my nerves increase even more. I was hoping that the ride down would stay quiet but unfortunately, to my dismay, he spoke.

“Are you new here?” he asked, voice smoother than silk. Yikes.

“I think I should be the one asking you, don’t you think?”

He seemed a little shocked that I didn’t give him a straight up answer. However, he hummed in agreement.

“I guess you should, I was here just yesterday and I didn’t run into you, that’s why I asked.” he smiled, not a bit of bitchiness in his voice.

“I was off yesterday.” I lied.

As the elevator doors opened, Captain Not So Frozen stepped out and head to the direction opposite of where I needed to be. PRAISE THE LORRRDDD! Before he opened the door, he spun around and yelled out, “Hey! I guess I’ll see you around Miss?”

I contemplated giving him a fake last name but decided against it.

“Beaumont”

Giving me a small smile, he said, “I’ll see you around Miss Beaumont”

Besides, it’d be funnier if he ran into my mom, considering she was Miss Beaumont. Ahh, the laughs. I checked my watch, ‘3:47’.

“Perfect”

I knocked on the door to my mom’s office, no one came to the door so I let myself in. I left the file between the keyboard and the screen of her closed laptop and wrote her a quick note on a post-it, letting her know where I’d be.

Lazily stepping into the elevator again I punched in another code and the button for the floor. This time, the melted man didn't stop the closing doors and I was able to get to the gym peacefully.

I pulled out my laptop from my duffel and started cracking. My ‘abilities’ weren't known to S.H.E.I.L.D., mom knew I could fight and she knew I was great with tech. What I did with those things, she didn’t know, and to be frank she didn’t need to either. I was done setting up the codes, all I needed was a clear frame. So when I stepped out and opened the doors to the gym, I was relieved to see it was indeed empty.

‘4:03’ my watch read. I stepped back outside and set everything else up. I didn’t need these buffoons watching me, and enter.

“That gave me such a headache, this stupid place.”

Manoeuvering my way to the changing room I threw my bag into one of the lockers and then went straight for the treadmill. I had four hours so I could do a lot. I would run/jog for half an hour and then, squats, lunges, one legged squats, box jumps, hip raises, deadlifts, straight leg deadlifts, good mornings, step ups, overhead press, bench press, incline dumbbell press, push ups, dips, chin ups, pull ups, bodyweight rows, dumbbell rows, planks, side planks, exercise ball crunches, mountain climbers, jumping knee tucks, hanging leg raises. Then I’d work on my hapkido if I finished everything nicely. Or I could go crash at my loft. I realised if I went back home, I wouldn't do any hapkido so I decided I’d just cut some stuff out and get to the martial art.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I finished up the leg raises and checked the time once more.

‘6:45’

That gave me a solid 5-minute break and a 10-minute shower.

The shower ended quicker than I had planned, eager to practice hapkido again. I changed into something more comfortable. Pulling out a mat I started my usual routine. But I wanted to do something a bit different today. I grabbed one of the knives. I was doing my thing and all when a stupid man decided to grab my attention. I was taken aback and grabbed the blade too hard. Blood dripping from my torn palm, Stark stares at me shocked.

“Shit, I am so sorry!” he tried to clean up my hand using the handkerchief from his pocket.

I took a step back, glaring fiercely at the idiotic billionaire.

“I can fix it myself, fuck off Stark.”

“Potty mouth, plus I apologized, didn't I?”

“Well if you weren't so fucking idiotic and ignorant, we wouldn't really be in this situation now would we?”

“Let’s get you to the infirmary.” he tugged on my arm slightly.

Pushing his money filthy hands off, I said, “I vividly remember telling you to fuck off. No?”

He merely smirked at me.

“Before I ‘fuck off’, I wanted to ask you something.”

Not being bothered to reply to the egotistical fuck, I stayed silent.

“How’d you hack into S.H.E.I.L.D.’S systems?”

Awh fuck, this is great.

“Hails, wanna tell me how?”

“Don't you dare call me that you fucking asshat! You don't deserve it.”

Grabbing all of my things I stormed out of the anxiety-filled room to be met with another fucker I hate.

“Nicholas.”

“Ah Miss Claire, you’re just the person I wanted to see.”

“Ah, Joe you flatter me, Starkies in the gym if you wanna see the fucker.”

“I assure you, you're the one I was looking for Hailey.”

Hiding my bitchy feels, I follow Joseph into the elevator.

“So what’s up Joe-man?”

“Not here.”

If Fury thought it’d be better to talk about whatever he wanted to talk about specifically in his office, it meant that this thing was big. And very confidential. If I said that it didn’t scare me, I’d be 100% lying. It scared the shit outta me. Fury and I, well we go way back. He’s known me since I was in the womb, and we’ve been super chill. So fuck yeah I was stressed.

I followed the fucker into his office and took a seat. I was not about to risk falling on my fat ass.

“Miss Beaumont-”

“Zhang.” I reminded the ignorant man.

“Miss Zhang, I know you’re aware that I know about your skills.”

“And what? Thought it was a mutual agreement where I don’t fuck your organization over and we keep my ‘skills’ a fucking secret.”

“It was until the Avengers.I’d brief you on the whole thing, but something tells me you already know way too much.”

I kept my eyes glued to him, not looking away for even a second. I was proud of my abilities and plus, he never told me to keep out of anything.

“Listen, you already have a bunch of power puffs and musketeers. What do you need me for? Plus, isn’t there some rule that you can’t work for S.H.I.E.L.D. unless you’re twenty-five plus? HA BITCH! I’m still 22!” Crossing my legs, I smirked at him.

“That rule is bullshit and I know you know it and fine. I’ll just tell your mom about your pastime activities.”

“You wouldn't dare!” I glared at him.

“I would if it meant you’d join the Avengers.”

“Cause pointing you to the Skull-topuses arent enough? Now I have to join a stupid marching band?”

“Hailey.”

That shut me up. But before he could say anything else I yelled, “FINE! Fuck you, I’ll do it. Not like you’ve actually given me a choice.”

“Come to the meeting room in an hour”

“No”

“Agent Zhang”

“I’m not an agent bitch.”

Mentally giving myself a once over I tell him, “Tomorrow. You want me to be a part of this pep squad? Then I want the meeting tomorrow at 7.”

“Sevens a bit-”

“8:45 or else I'm out.”

Rolling his eyes he huffed out a ‘fine’.

Standing up, I grabbed my bag and pushed through the double doors. The elevator ride pissed me off. I threw myself out of the elevator when I ran into a chiselled figure and fell back. I braced for impact considering I couldn't do a double flip to save myself because I wasn't supposed to know how. But the impact never came. Instead, I felt strong arms hold up my weight. Staring into steely blue eyes I realise who’s holding me. I push him off and let myself fall to the ground. Hanging my head in shame, I stutter a sorry.

“Are you okay?”

“I-I’m fine. I just need some air.”

I ignore his gaze, I push past the man and rushed out of the building. I ran to my car and turned on the engine. I couldn't breathe, fuck. I reversed and then pulled out onto the highway. I kept driving until I realised my eyes were getting clouded and I was about to throw up. I stopped on the side as soon as I exit the highway. My chest hurts, I can’t breathe. I threw myself out of the car and collapsed.

I woke up to red and blue accompanied with blaring sirens.

“Miss are you alright?”

This was embarrassing… I passed out on the road and someone had called 911. Fucking shit.

“I’m fine,” I nodded curtly.

“Alright, we’re just going to do a couple tests and if everything’s fine we’ll let you go. Is that okay with you?”

I smiled at him weakly, nodding my head.

“Are you able to stand?” she asked very politely.

As I tried to stand, I almost fell back but the woman had caught your arm before you did. You could feel your throat close up again. She sensed something was wrong and quickly let go, but only after she made sure you were steady.

After all the tests, I walked over to my car and as I put on my seatbelt, the paramedic who tended to me knocked on my window.

“Hey, if you ever want to speak to anyone about anything, here’s my number.”

“Oh no that’s- it’s- I’m fine. It’s okay!” I tried being peppy.

It clearly didn’t work as her brows furrowed deeper. Sighing I took her card and mumbled a thank you. She gave me a bright smile as I drove away from the area. I was definitely not calling her, but for some reason, I just shoved the cared into the glove compartment instead of throwing it out.

#steve rogers #oc #marvel mcu #avengers #steve rogers x oc #nick fury #angsty af #s.h.i.e.l.d.#tony stark #avengers assemble #plus size oc #captain america x oc #steve rogers imagine

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imagineclaireandjamie · 7 years ago

Text

Jamaica

Note from Mod Bonnie:

I wrote the story below as part of the Candle for the Caribbean fundraiser last year. Now that the period to download the fanfic anthology has passed, I am posting the story here. I still hope you’ll donate to disaster relief! The need is great, and we can all do something!

In any case, if you’ve already read this, I hope you’ll enjoy it a second time ;)

Jamaica

Drums of Autumn (Chapter 41), Diana Gabaldon

Her aunt's voice, coming from a great distance, saying, "The poor child is asleep where she sits; I can hear her snoring. Ulysses, take her up to bed."

And then strong arms that lifted her with no sense of strain, but not the candlewax smell of the black butler; the sawdust and linen scent of her father. She gave up the struggle and fell asleep, her head on his chest.

Later that night

River Run Plantation

Royal Colony of North Carolina

I fought.

With fists and feet and every ounce of strength I possessed, I fought; against the man’s hands on me, against the sheets and blankets as I struggled to get free of him; against the panic—I had to get away.

The next thing I knew was that my back was braced securely against the wall on the far side of the bed, cold and solid through the fabric of my shift. My chest was heaving; my hands were raised against him, ready to fight, and each breath was raw and ragged in my throat. I honestly didn’t know how long I’d been screaming, and that terrified me more than—

“I’m so—I’m sorry, lass.”

I jumped to see the man was on the other side of the bed—huge, the shape of him. His voice was— it was gentler than I’d remembered, and that made me tense still more, refusing to believe his cunning and lies again. Those eyes were wide and blazing. Blue…not green?

His hands were raised, too, nothing like my own shaking claws. His palms were facing me, poised and braced as though against the charge of a wild animal.

“It’s only me,” the man said. “It’s—Da.”

And with that word, that tiny key of a word, my entire body unlocked and tried to sink to the floor. I kept myself upright only by sheer will as I closed my eyes and tried to breathe normally again.

Only a dream, Bree.

The green-eyed man was only a dream.

…this time.

“I heard ye cry out from the other room,” Jamie (because it was only him) was saying, urgently. “I ran in and ye were crying and shaking in your sleep and then I tried to wake ye, and—Jesus, lass, are ye alright??”

My eyelids felt unbelievably heavy, my heart still pounding, but the emotion in his voice made me open my eyes and look at him (really look at him) for the first time.

He was dressed only in his shirt, hair wild and blazing in the dim firelight. The eyes were red with sleep, still wide, terrified as his gaze continued to search me.

Even with the bed between us, though, I could see more written there—the quiet, underlying hunger in his eyes; that desire to connect; as palpable and real to me as if it had physical shape, but held carefully—so, so carefully—in check. I could see it so plainly because it had been the same for me, since we’d met; the exact same.

I was so absorbed in it, actually, that I forgot that I had been staring openmouthed at him, not answering his question.

“I’m fine,” I blurted finally, smiling as best I could, both shaking and nodding my head like a complete moron (well done, Bree: poise and grace incarnate). “Perfectly fine.”

To my shock, Jamie Fraser laughed.

...And I experienced a sudden visceral impulse to throw something heavy at his fucking head.

“Forgive me,” he said at once, seeing my reaction, though he didn’t bother to suppress his grin. “Only—Christ, but ye sound like your mother when ye say that.”

“Oh, no,” I groaned, barking a laugh despite myself. “Shit, I DO! I mean, oh— um—yikes.....sorry.”

I fumbled for another less vulgar swear (don’t want him to think his daughter a complete heathen after less than twelve hours), but he snorted and waved me off.

“I heard worse cursing from Claire within the first hour of meeting her, and it evidently didna put me off in any lasting way.”

We laughed, both of us this time; shy laughter, but real, and it blessedly eased the tension of the night a little further, bringing us another inch closer to connection.

We were careful with one another, Jamie and me—not just now, in this room still clouded by nightmare, but for the entire time since we’d met earlier in the day. For what it was worth, I thought we would keep erring on the side of caution for some time, months, or even years, even if all continued to progress well between us. If Jamie was feeling anything like I was (and I would have bet money on it), the last thing he wanted was to scare me off by showing (let alone expecting) too much overt affection between us or presuming an intimacy, of asking too many questions, no matter how much he wanted to.

It was a little awkward and more than a little bittersweet, but completely natural, from my point of view. As much as we both would have liked to pretend otherwise, there was a wall between us—a huge Hoover Dam of a structure, built to withstand, made of twenty-three years; of grief; of doubt; and of suspicion. Honestly, I hated myself for even admitting that last one, but it was the cold, hard truth. No matter what he was to me factually or what I hoped he’d be someday, I didn’t know this man except from stories, nor did he know me. It just wasn’t realistic to trust one another implicitly and ignore all our reasonable reservations and cautions; at least, it wasn’t for me.

Still….there was a spark there, in each of us; a look here, a joke there, a shared moment of understanding— gentle tugs pulling us toward one another, each a tiny chip falling away from that indomitable wall. It was the simple ease of it that had shocked me, getting to know him so far. Jamie had that genuine quality you couldn’t help but be drawn to, and I absolutely was. I would have liked him even without knowing our blood connection, I think, and more importantly, I could see why Claire had loved him; why she had come back for that love. That knowledge was worth quite a lot to a daughter’s heart, really, still scarred from the loss of a mother.

“My bed is in the next room over, ken?” Jamie said, taking a careful step forward and—seeing that I wasn’t going to bolt or go into hysterics— settled onto the edge of the bed. “…And when I heard ye scream like that…”

He shook his head, and the rest was lost in a rushed exhale. One word I caught, though: ‘…terrified.’

I noticed for the first time the knife that had been dropped on the carpet behind him.

“It was a nightmare?” he clarified, after a moment.

“A bad one.” I sat on the opposite side of the bed, trying to put on my most assured, calm face, for his sake. “But only that.”

He nodded and his shoulders seemed to relax a bit further. “Do ye need anything? Water? A bit of food?”

“I was just thinking I’d go out to the balcony.” I jerked an awkward hand toward the glass door. “It’s, um, a little warm in here.”

A lie. It was sweltering and I was sweating like a pig, still trembling from the aftershocks of memory and dream.

“Oh. Aye. Well.” He stood up. “I’ll—ah—leave ye to it.” An awkward bow. “Goodnight, then, lass.”

He was almost to the door before I found my courage. “Would you stay? Just for a little while,” I added quickly, flushing even more, kicking myself for the asking almost as much as for being afraid enough to risk it—afraid of being alone in the dark, alone with my thoughts.

The way his face lit up, though—it was like the morning sun breaking from behind a hill. There, right there, that was him: the lad Mama had seen all those years ago.

When he edged out onto the narrow balcony to join me a few minutes later, he was still barefoot but now wearing breeks with his hair tied back. He hadn’t come empty-handed, either, I saw as he settled onto the wicker loveseat beside me, carrying a bottle and two glasses.

“Oh, um—Sorry, I don’t mean to be—”

(Please don’t be offended. Please, please don’t think me awful and ungrateful for shitting on your nice gesture).

“I don’t really like whisky,” I said with the awkwardest of laughs.

He smiled. “Aye, I ken that. Your mother told me so, once,” he said with a shrug and a widening grin. “It’s brandy, in fact, but I can fetch ye something else, if—“

“No, no, that’s fine! Great!” I said hastily, hands flapping, reeling a bit from the thoughtfulness (not to mention the steel trap his mind must be, to remember such an insignificant piece of trivia about someone he’d never meet—good grief!). “I’ve never actually tried brandy before.”

He poured a large glass and handed it to me with confidence. “Nothing like it to calm an unsettled mind.”

The first sip was like a warm hug, spreading from my throat down my spine and into my toes. “That’s good,” I said with feeling, taking a long swallow. “Thank you—for thinking of me.”

“Thank your great-aunt for keeping a well-stocked larder,” he said, off-handed.... but his eyes were warm, I saw, glowing just that little bit more from the shared moment, however small.

It went quiet between us, then, but in a surprisingly comfortable way, like when Daddy—Frank—and I would ride through the mountains, enjoying the scenery and one another’s’ company in silence for long stretches at a time.

I do miss you, Daddy.

Taking a deep breath, I made a quick— but firm—decision not to feel guilty for comparing them. They were both my father; they both mattered; but Jamie was the one here, now, the one I had the chance to get to know.

The minutes passed like that, both of us breathing the warm air: grass and woodsmoke; the sharpness of pine sap; a musty sweetness I thought might be magnolia leaves. Despite the moonlight, the grounds were dark as pitch, so that every now and again, I could see the twinkling of a firefly down below.

And it seems like it goes on like this forever

You must forgive me,

if I'm up and gone to Carolina…

“Do ye often have troubling dreams, lass?” Jamie asked, quietly so as not to startle.

“....I didn’t used to.....” I swirled the brandy in the bottom of the glass. “Since Mama left, though—Yeah, often enough.”

“I’m sorry. I think ye might get that from me,” he said, sounding actually sorry for it.

“It’s okay. I mean, it isn’t your— It happens,” I said firmly, huffing a bit in frustration at how ludicrous it was to be accepting an apology for such a thing. He saw it and understood and we both smiled. I shifted in my seat so that I was leaning against the armrest, facing him. “So, you have bad dreams a lot, too?”

“Strangely enough, my own have been less frequent since Claire returned. A talisman for the both of us, she must be.”

He said this with a smile so pure that it plucked at my heart with longing to see her, and a tender (and, yes, a bit jealous) awe at his evident love of her. Maybe he did deserve her, too.

What would it be like to see them together? To have all three of us together?

“But aye,” he went on, “I’ve always been prone to nightmare, when there are troubles on my mind. It isna at all pleasant.” He offered more brandy, which I gratefully accepted. He concentrated hard on the pouring, avoiding my eye. “If there’s anything ye wish to....If I can be of....” His sigh of frustration sounded uncannily like my own a few moments before. “All I mean to say is, I’m here. If ye want to talk about it. About…anything that might be on your mind.”

I managed to get out a smile and a genuine, “Thank you…” but my guts had clenched tight at the thought of exactly what had been on my mind. The blackness started creeping in, those horrific flashes, but also a newer stab of heartbroken dread:

Would you still want to get to know me, James Fraser, if you knew what happened on that ship? Would you be able to get past the shame of it? Of me?

“They’re not always bad, though,” I said cheerily, choking down my panic and another gulp of brandy as I forced us down a less fraught line of conversation. “I’ve just always been a vivid dreamer, even besides the nightmares.”

He seemed to be as grateful for the shift of tone as me. “What are your happier dreams like, I wonder?”

“A lot of times it’s about painting—the colors, you know,” I said, pulling my knees up close to my chest to lean my glass on them. “Other times, just about what I did that day. Sometimes the most ridiculously absurd things, too.”

He cocked his head, amused. “Such as?”

“Umm…..? Oh, okay, once—this is embarrassing—But one time last year, I dreamed that I was in a singing contest on the moon (no idea why the moon, but there was a huge audience there) and had to sing ‘Sugartime’ with President Nixon and Donald Duck. We didn’t even win!”

Jamie snorted into his drink. “Well, I dinna ken about Presidents, but ducks are no’ known for having braw singing voices….Though,” he added fairly, “likely this Donald availed himself better than could I, so I’ll no be casting stones.”

We laughed, and at his urging, I sang him a few bars, snapping my fingers to recreate a bit of the honkytonk feel that made the song so damned catchy that it had wormed its way into my sleep.

“It’s funny though,” I said abruptly, struck by a memory in the midst of our discussion (trying all the while not to giggle) of the likely metaphor behind the ‘sugar’ in question. “It’s because of a dream that I’m here at all. Why I came here from my time, I mean.”

“Oh, aye? How’s that?”

“I had this dream last year about you and Mama being in the tropics,” I explained, memory of it giving me goosebumps. “Roger and I—” (Oh, Jesus Christ, Roger....) “—had been looking in the historical records for months, trying to find something to confirm that she had found you and that you were both living well in Scotland, but with no luck. We’d all but given up, to be honest. When I had the dream, though, it got me thinking that maybe you’d emigrated, and one thing led to another, and sure enough, I found records of you being on Jamaica in 1767.”

“Well that was a piece of good luck,” he said with approval. “You’re verra determined, lass, a fact for which I’m grateful. What came to pass in the dream, then?” He raised an eyebrow and the opposite corner of his mouth. “Were we singing sweet songs wi’ Kings and Hippopotamuses?”

“No,” I laughed (Good grief, he was witty, too? Mama never stood a chance), “and actually, as helpful as it ended up being, this was one of the spooky dreams. Not quite a nightmare, but—“ I shivered. “Eerie.”

He was interested, ready to listen.

“It was at night and I was in a huge field of sugarcane,” I said slowly, trying to remember the details after so long. “There were fires burning in the distance, lots of them, so that there was this glowing dome of smoke overhead. I walked and wandered, turning this way and that, until I came to a clearing, and Mama was there. She was talking to a crocodile. So yes, it did have some ridiculous bits, too.”

I added this last part because I’d seen Jamie stiffen at mention of the crocodile, markedly, his eyebrows drawing together. Before I could study him too closely, he relaxed (though, I thought, not completely) and bade me go on.

“There were drums...” I said, still unsettled. “Beating loud and.....ominously, and I don’t know if it was them or what else, but somehow, I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something stalking Mama, wanting to hurt her, you know? I tried to call out to her, warn her. I was begging her to not to go after it, but she was—I don’t know— in a trance, or something. She couldn’t hear me…. but you could.”

“….How did ye ken it was me?” He was still as stone and his voice very tight—terse, almost.

“A red-haired man with my mother? I guess I just assumed.” I shrugged. “I turned to him—you—and I called for you to save her from whatever it was …or something like that….” I shrugged again. “ And you saw me. You heard m—Um….Are you okay?”

He had stood abruptly, setting down his glass and going to stand at the railing. Jamie didn’t have a rude bone in his body. Something I’d said had upset him, and my belly was crawling again, trying to figure out what it had been.

“What is it ye said?” It didn’t even sound like Jamie. He had a vice grip on the iron. “In the dream. Do ye remember the words?”

Baffled, but having no idea of what else I might say next, I closed my eyes, trying to remember. I could always recall colors, from my dreams; colors and shapes and movement and light, but words always slipped through my fingers like sand. I could almost remember, though. Don’t—something…Don’t—?

“Don’t let Mama go alone....”

My eyes flew open.

“That’s what ye said, aye?” Jamie still had his back to me, shoulders hunched. “We were in a cane field, your mother and I. On Jamaica. There was a crocodile.” He turned and looked me dead in the eye. “And we did hear your voice, lass.”

“That’s....not possible.” I heard glass shatter and I was on my feet, though I didn’t remember getting there. “You couldn’t possibly…”

“Your mother can attest,” he said, his face drawn and white, but his eyes wide. “I’d no’ have believed it to be anything other than base trickery, sorcery, only I saw her face—went pale as stone and just as still. It was your voice, Bree. Yours, in a wisewoman’s mouth. You go with her, ye said, I’ll keep you safe....And then ye said—” His voice broke, then broke off entirely as he hung his head.

I was shaking from head to toe and I couldn’t even blink. I had to hold my hands over my mouth to keep from exploding, because it was exactly as he described, the words verbatim, even down to the cadence and tone of my own manner of speech. How…. HOW—??

When he looked up at me again, he was weeping freely. “Ye said... I love you, Daddy.”

“It….” I moved my hands away enough to ask the unfathomable. “It was real?”

“I dinna ken how,” came the husk of his voice, “but—aye—in whatever way— It was real.”

Then I was throwing my arms around his neck.

“Oh my God,” I kept saying, my hands and my jaw shaking as though it were freezing cold. “Oh—dear GOD—“

He was saying more or less the same, in the same tone, as he held me, or that’s what I thought at first. After a while, I realized what he was saying: Thank God.

“It terrified me so, and yet I treasured it,” he said against my hair, still speaking through sobs, kissing a spot just behind my ear. “I felt as though it were a sin to rejoice, for it was black sorcery that had brought it about, or so I thought—but yet—I couldna think otherwise except that—“ He broke off and held me tighter. “It was the only time this side of Heaven that I’d hear your voice….I’ve thought about it so often, since.”

“I’m glad it wasn’t,” I choked out, hugging him as tightly as I could. “The only time.”

“Christ, so am I, my...my Brianna.” A big hand came up and cupped my head securely against him. He gasped for air. I could feel the genuine struggle of it in his chest. “I know I shall live my entire life—before I’ve done enough good—to deserve it... the gift of you, mo chridhe.”

“Oh..... Da…”

All my fears—of cane fields and wisewomen, of Irishmen, even of the possibility of being shunned—they all melted away into the night, and I let them. I closed my eyes and surrendered to the power of him, my father, a shelter against the paranormal, letting only the essential remain: the connection between us, those tiny, tentative sparks, protected from the wind and growing stronger. Maybe someday, it would tear down the wall entirely.

“It’s getting late, a leannan,” he murmured a long, long time later, kissing the top of my head, “and you’ve had a long day. A long many days, I think, and a trying night. Get ye back to your bed for some rest, now.”

He started moving toward the door, but I clutched at him, holding him back. “I can’t.”

“Another glass of brandy may help, if—“

“I don’t want to sleep again.”

His mouth twitched in a tiny smile as he put a hand tenderly on my cheek. “Ye might find that difficult to sustain, after a week or so.”

I was dead-serious, my fears wrenching out of me in a whisper, a raw plea, like the frightened child I was. “What if everything I dream is real?”

He could have told me not to talk nonsense; that I was a grown woman and obviously dreams were dreams, excepting the one event in question.

What he did, though, was to squeeze my hand and draw me back down onto the loveseat, putting his arms around me. “Lay your head, lass,” he said, bringing my head gently to his shoulder. “We’ll bide together, you and me.”

I felt the words stirring on my tongue as sleep began to settle around me, knew it would be the truth of my heart to say them aloud, but I couldn’t speak even one word in my present state, let alone those.

Besides, I’d said it before I even knew him.

I love you.

… Da.

#;mod bonnie

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