#��it makes me sad and angry and... confused.” “of course it does. it's painful. how could you feel any different?” yeah. yeah

[its-leethee]

4x01 // 1x06 // 3x01 // 4x09 // 6x08

Anyways thinking about all the times Rayla has been literally buried alive, but also how Callum did so metaphorically during her two years absence and after she returned.

He buried her memory, refusing to say her name out loud or think of her:

It was impossible to say her name out loud. Rayla. It still hurt. She was still gone, and Callum had no idea if she'd ever come back. Callum shook his head. He couldn't think about her. Not now.

--Reflections: Inheritance

And how after her return, he let his anger and confusion suppress his feelings of joy and relief that she was home and safe:

When she came back, I was so happy, but so mad at the same time. I wish I could just forgive her, but it, it, it's so hard.

When I-- When I... when I saw you standing there, I got flooded with so many feelings, I was so confused.

But avoiding his feelings didn't make the pain go away. The wound was still there, and now it was compounded with regret.

4x09 // 5x04 // 6x03

And while it seemed that Callum was going to succumb to despair, as Sol Regem did--

5x04 // 6x06

--he ultimately didn't lose hope, and found his one truth--

--his love for Rayla, which transcended any lingering anger and pain that was caused by her absence.

6x08 // 6x06

[hot-patootiee]

Part 2 of this. And can you tell I had issues with my ex? Like holy shit I’m having flashbacks writing this.

Nancy stands up and walks over to Eddie though, and gently pushes him towards the door.

“Go fix it.” She demands.

Eddie makes a confused sound as he is gently pushed out of the house, having to push open the door or be squished into it.

…

When Steve’s doorbell rings again, he’s getting a little annoyed.

He swings open the door and Eddie is there.

Steve begins to close the door.

Unfortunately he is forced to deal with his feelings, so Eddie puts a hand on the door and pushes it open.

“Did you think we were dating?” Eddie seems almost accusatory in his tone, which immediately annoyed Steve.

“What do you mean by ‘think’ Eddie? I asked you out, you said yes.” Steve was still trying to shut the door in Eddie’s face, but he looked more angry than sad. “Unless this is some sort of strange apology and declaration of love, I don’t wanna hear it.”

“It is! It is! Just don’t close the door.” Steve furrows his brows and lets the door swing open.

Eddie stumbles in, tripping over the entrance and nearly falling into Steve.

Steve stares at Eddie, waiting.

“I thought you were just experimenting and I’m so sorry for thinking your confession was a joke.” Eddie says sincerely, shifting slightly on his feet in discomfort.

“You think everything I do is a joke. Everyone does! Poor little Steve Harrington gets hit in the head too many times and now is incapable of a coherent thought.” Steve finishes with a self deprecating laugh. His eyes are shining and Eddie can see the rage festering in them, the resignation transforming into simmering anger.

Eddie opens his mouth to refute it, but is cut off instead.

“Was kissing me a joke too? Am I too stupid to know?” Steve moves into Eddie’s face, crowding him before pulling back suddenly. A strong gust reminds Eddie the door is open and anyone close enough could hear them.

“No, no of course not. Shouldn’t we close the door?” Eddie suggests.

“You’re the dumbass who didn’t close it. There is no we in that.” Steve sneers at Eddie’s implication at Steve being incompetent.

“You’re right, I’m sorry.” Eddie murmurs, pushing the door hard and letting it swing shut. His shoulders are hunched, as if he was trying to placate Steve by making himself smaller.

“I thought you were different, I put up with everybody else calling me stupid all the time, because most of them are children, and I thought you, my boyfriend, was different. But, apparently, you think I’m too incompetent with my own feelings that you need to make the judgement for me.”

“I thought you were joking.” Eddie repeated, Steve was honestly beginning to hear the needle on the vinyl from how many times Eddie had been repeating himself.

“And when I kissed you, was I still just joking?” Steve probed.

“No, can you just let me explain for a second?” Eddie spat his words out quickly, knowing if he went slower Steve would continue to yell at him.

“No, because you’re charging in here with some half cocked apology to try to fix something, just because someone else pointed out that you should. You need to feel better, so you came over to apologize, without considering that I’ve been wallowing in my house for days because of something you did. Actually fucking apologize because you feel bad about putting me in pain, not because you want to stop being uncomfortable with your own actions.” Steve lectured, he massaged the bridge of his nose slightly in an attempt to alleviate his own frustration.

“What do you want me to do? How do I fix this?”

“Those are questions you have to answer yourself. Maybe apologize with something that screams ‘sorry for thinking our entire relationship was a joke’. If you come here with some fucking flowers or chocolate and think that that’s adequate, I will break your fucking guitar.” The wrinkles in Steve’s brow just became deeper as he threatened Eddie. His muscles trembled slightly as he reminded himself of how angry he was.

Eddie nods, looking slightly resigned.

“Oh, and your fucking behavior should change, treat me like a goddamn person. I pulled your ass out of hell, I’ve proved myself to be capable a thousand times over. Treat me like I am.” Eddie couldn’t help but focus on how Steve’s hands shook.

Eddie nods and begins to pull away from Steve, looking sad as he slowly moves to the door.

“What are you doing?” Steve looked genuinely puzzled, prompting Eddie to stop with his hand on the doorknob.

“I’m leaving, I didn’t think you’d want me here.” Eddie shrugged, looking a lot like a kicked puppy as he whimpered. He then began to turn the doorknob to exit the Harrington house.

“What did I just say about making decisions for me?” Steve has his hip cocked and his hands resting on his waist in his signature annoyed mom look. Eddie freezes, unknowing of what to do.

“Come on, go to my room and wait, I just need to run the dishes.” Steve shoos Eddie, who quickly scampers up the stairs and slipped inside Steve’s room. He was unsure of what to do so he waited at the foot of the bed, sitting on the edge of it.

He isn’t sure how long he waits, but Steve finally pads into the room.

Steve pushes Eddie onto his back. Crawling inbetween his legs.

Eddie opens his mouth to express his confusion, but is interrupted by a firm “scooch” which spurs Eddie into backing up into the headboard. Steve follows quickly behind.

Steve tucks himself into Eddie’s collarbone. He settles easily, even though Eddie is still incredibly tense.

“Tell me the other thing you came here to say.” Steve demands.

“Oh darling I like you so much. I’ll stay with you forever, I’m so sorry for leaving.” Eddie rambles, like the floodgates holding him back had been released.

“Again?” Steve said quietly, barely louder than his breath.

“I like you a lot, Steve. I got the biggest crush on you. Never thought you’d ever like someone like me. I don’t deserve you.” Eddie ends with a damn near whimper, but Steve’s resolve didn’t change in the face of Eddie’s words.

“You’re right, you don’t. You left me and you were planning on leaving me again if I didn’t accept your apology. It’s been days and all I want is to be with my boyfriend.” Steve’s voice slowly tampered down to a whisper as he spoke.

“I didn’t think of it like that.” Eddie murmured shamefully.

“Yea, no shit.” Steve snapped.

“I’m sorry.”

“Your formal apology better be fucking amazing.” Steve countered playfully.

“I’ll do my best.” Eddie pauses for a second. “What if it’s not good enough?”

“Then I break up with you.” Eddie deflates slightly. Steve continues though. “I can’t be with someone who doesn’t value me or respect me, I’ve made that mistake before.”

Eddie felt his stomach sink, but began to brainstorm on how to make it up to Steve.

Btw El and Will are making Brownies for Steve rn.

PART 3 IS HERE

Omg I’m such an ass, pt 3 coming soon if I’m harassed enough to do it.

Also, psa if you fuck up big, you need to actually show you’re sorry. Don’t apologize to make yourself feel better, apologize to make the other person feel better. Make an actual effort to not repeat your past actions. If someone doesn’t accept your apology, remember you aren’t entitled to their forgiveness. No matter how much society tries to act like you deserve it for simply apologizing.

Also if it isn’t evident, I was forced to accept a lot of apologies when I didn’t want to.

@stripey82 @genderfluidbitch @mensch-anthropos-human @c4tharsys @scoops-aboy86 @breealtair @raleighrox @wannabe-edgy-grandpa @flustratedcas @shoujo-wizard @polysdoitforscience @exasperatedsighohmy @piemaker93 @tinyplanet95 @skepticalqueen @sharingisntkaren @scarletyeager @crypticcrytid @midnightskeeper @wheneverfeasible @ancientwormcivilization @fucjinf-whatever-dude @estrellami-1 @queenofshenanigans @grilledcheesehasfeelings <- get out of my walls

@ellietheasexylibrarian @live-laugh-love-dietrich @turinspeachjam @me-ig7 @revevivant @motherofpirates @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @samsoble @legalmenace87 @thehanwen @bigspongey @thedragonsaunt @newagemyth @pentapoctopus @my-hyperfixations-hell-blog @bumbledoubletea @blackbirdflyflyfly @what-if-a-dragon @reddiandbyler4life @i-think-i-thunk @gregre369 @fiddledeedee85 @ladykailitha

Rest of the mentions will be in the comments because fuck there is a lot of you.

[ladymrf]

so I'm back with more sad (?) sht

....

"I thought you were off the streets today?"

The voice modified by the helmet reaches Tim, he doesn't turn to acknowledge Jason, just waits for him to approach, Jason comes to the edge of the roof and looks at what Tim is observing hidden.

A few rooftops away, Batman and Robin fight a fair amount of thugs, Bruce and Damian alone, they are good, of course they are, familiar fighting styles and Tim swears he saw Bruce smiling at Damian's skills at some point.

"What? Planning to pull a Red Hood on the kid? No offense Red, but we both know the problem is the Bat, never the Bird."

Tim frowned and looked at Jason in confusion.

"What? No. I mean, sure it sucks to be replaced by a kid after having been through so much shit in that position, but no, God, I can't pull a Hood on the kid, that would be stupid… No offense."

Jason knew very well that he meant to offend.

"So? What are you doing here? Reviving the old habit of stalking?"

"No, I just needed to make sure you two were well adjusted to each other, I'm pleased with what I've seen so far." Tim stepped away from the edge of the roof "Finally free."

"Of what?"

"Of the weight." Tim answered easily, he looked at Jason with a hint of curiosity "I understand all the bitterness of losing the mantle and the place in the family, I really understand Hood, but didn't you feel relief?"

Jason considers in silence for a long time, Tim realizes that probably not, Jason was dealing with a lot more along with the loss of all aspects of his life in Gotham, he had lost his life in general, so he rephrased the question.

"After you stabilized a bit, wasn't it better? Easier to breathe? Without all that weight."

"Robin should never be heavy, kid." Jason looked at him, Hood's helmet conveyed the expression of displeasure very well "It should be light, because birds must fly."

"Hm. I guess you and N. were always stronger than me then." He looked back at the place where the fight was taking place "I think D. will be the lightest of us." Tim shook his head and smiled "I hope so."

"What were you talking about before? About relief."

"Isn't it a relief not to be responsible for Batman anymore?" Tim asked bluntly, Hood just blinked "If we're not Robin, we're not subject to his shit, I mean, fuck if the patrol sucks, fuck if something puts him in a bad mood, fuck if he's angry. It's not our problem anymore. It's not our responsibility to try to make him see reason. To bring him back from his dark mind to the real world. To be the light. That's Robin's job."

Jason is silent, he stares at Tim completely surprised at how relieved the boy seems, it's like a weight is lifted off him with each sentence, it's like Tim is returning to his normal posture after being crushed for years.

"Don't you think that's a lot of responsibility for a child?"

"Oh, yeah, sure, but D. will do fine, he has plenty of people on his side to intervene if something goes off the rails." Tim shrugged and with more bitterness than he should have said the next part "Someone always intervenes for him. Besides, he has Nightwing."

"We both had him too."

"Not the way he does it, you know that." Tim laughed at Jason's speech "Well, it's not my problem. Not anymore. Dealing with B. is Robin's responsibility and the current one will have to deal with it."

"You're telling me, that the first time B screws the boy over, because he will, you and I both know, you won't jump in to solve the problem?"

Tim looks at Jason, really looks at him with a look that borders on physical pain.

"Of course I'll go." Tim says easily, "Because I want to, because Robin is a child and we have to protect children, not because I need to keep B in line. It's good to do things because you want to, not because you have to."

Jason almost asks if someone ever jumped between Batman and Tim's Robin, if someone ever interfered in their disputes, if someone looked at the boy walking next to the bat and saw a child and not the sidekick.

He knows the answer, Jason himself hasn't done it before.

Instead, he sighs and says, "Want to go blow up a gang downtown?"

Red Robin smiles at him, "Yes, please."

[crustyfloor]

Brain vomit...I am insanely jealous of the people who can get the new merch. And I am planning an elaborate heist. But aside from that, I'm also crazy over the lore implications of the new photo-card designs...

Of course, they're all suffering as per usual. But it's symbolized by cracks in their skin. When I saw that, I immediately linked it back to the collapse of barriers, secrets, structures, etc. The hearts, however, confused me a bit. But I suppose it's because the reason they all "broke" is ultimately because of their love.

This is probably the most distressed Ivan has ever looked in a photo card, and really, he's honest. The tone of his card is sickeningly oversaturated and overwhelming, and his emotions are visceral, I also find it interesting how the cracks are littered all over his face, and the hearts leak out like that from the neck--and Ivan holds his face like he's trying to "fix" it, or in other words, "keep it together" as he's breaking down and becoming vulnerable, he has to cover up his expression behind something more appealing as he always does. He's also wearing his Anakt Garden uniform. When he was a child, he was just learning how to develop his mask. But even then, he faltered sometimes, Ivan's automatic response is always to try to fix it, even if he's underplaying the severity of his feelings, it's what he has to do regardless, I love his card for that portrayal when he tries to keep one wound closed, another wound opens, its erratic and uncontrollable, like his true emotions. When I see him trying, it looks like it's hard because, well--he's breaking down. Normally, you can't just bounce back from that, so in this rare moment, he struggles with how to deal with it. (A certain desperation to keep up the act?) (His eyes. I really like his eyes in this PC, it's more akin to those moments when his true expression comes out, in those very rare moments)

And then there's Till, I feel pain when my wife feels pain. His expression, too, is very overwhelming. Like he's suffocating too, But his cracks are minimal, not because his pain is small but because vulnerability--something he loathes, is coming to the surface. In tears, Till is suppressing his emotions. Who he bleeds for is ambiguous here, you could say the hearts are for Ivan or for Mizi, but I think it's both. Because he hides from the both of them and eventually the love he feels for them both seeps out one way or the other like a slow leak through a crack in the wall, he's spent so many years building a fortress of a barrier to emotionally separate himself from others, it's his way of protecting himself. But at the peak of his suffering, long too deep into this hell, losing Mizi and then Ivan, he's crying because he's slowly breaking down, and the way he grips at his hair like he's trying to hold back...urgh. In different ways, indifferently, Till ignores Ivan and his affections, and fearfully, he avoids Mizi, instead watching her from afar, doing small things to feel close to her, even when he has the opportunity to get closer, and even when she acknowledges that he's so avoidant of her that it makes Mizi concerned if he even likes her or not, as was said in the Artbook when asked for her opinion of him:

"Mizi -> Till: I'd love to be friends with him. He's an artist who's so dedicated to his work. But he seems to be avoiding me... Does he hate me?"

Till doesn't confront relationships any more than he has to even though he cares so so deeply for them because confronting his emotions and confronting vulnerability, sadness, happiness, etc., and especially fear, is a commitment you have to understand how to accept and respond to, and Till doesn't understand the how when he can only go back to his starting point, hiding and or getting angry, because it's easier. At this point, it's instinct. Shyness is one thing, but doubt is something that can make you freeze in place, confuse you, make you feel unsafe, and even hinder your ability to control yourself in the wake of fear. Fear is what roots Till in place. Till, even for how emotional and sensitive he truly is, he fears the type of vulnerability being emotional requires, he knows of it, but he can never truly embrace it out of fear, that's why he rarely ever shows his heart. He already knows that wearing your weakness on your sleeve leaves you vulnerable to pain, he used to be childish and vulnerable once, and technically, he still is, but just imagine what years upon years of cruelty has instilled in him. So he acts cold and avoidant, and these misunderstood emotions lead to other misguided intentions. That's what brings me to the quote on the back of his pc

Translation:

"사랑 같은 애매한 말보다 증오란 말이 확실해요" -> "The word hatred is more certain than vaguer words like love"

Rather than confronting uncertainty and exploring the confusing, unpredictable, and gray area that is love, hate is honest, hate is intentional, hate is malleable, and you can control it. It's Till's response to feeling unsafe to resort to anger, in the same way, Ivan resorts to trying to fix it and put on a facade. Again, it ties back to the fact that Till doesn't and has never hated Ivan, but understanding Ivan is as confusing as understanding love, Till is as much of a puzzle himself. That's why they confuse each other and clash. So they come close but remain distanced because their connection is almost like unattractive magnets, Till is sensitive and loving, compared to Ivan's regrets; of not being nicer, of not understanding how to get closer to Till, then I think about what Till's recollection of his relationship with Ivan and Mizi in retrospective would be like when he does acknowledge it.

And now...mmizisua. To me, Sua looks more aware of her pain than Mizi is, like in the storyline, she is more aware of their fragility and the cruelness of their environment. It's surely a parallel to the way Sua had kept Mizi in the dark for so many years, even when this pain and this love are so destructive, she covers up her wound with her hand and hides it from Mizi, to protect her, her wound is a direct correlation to her (inevitable) death, a truth that would shatter Mizi, even after he death she wants Mizi to remember her the same as she was when she was alive, unaffected by their world. She tries to force a smile as if everything is still okay, especially because she doesn't want to affect the way Mizi looks at her so lovingly, how would Mizi ever recover if she knew the truth?

And Mizi would seemingly be none the wiser if not for the tears because, to me, she knows but looks to Sua for comfort, to forget even when she is hurt the same way, I love this side of MiziSua a lot, the side that highlights the cruelty of their relationship that surrounds their bubble, because as long as they could distract themselves with the presence of each other, the co-dependence of their dynamic, they could forget as if they couldn't feel the pain at all as long as they had each other, but Mizi is still so affected by her pain, all this hiding had amounted to nothing in the end because Mizi never changes in Sua's eyes, and Sua is still hiding her pain, but that day, Sua had broken that bubble of ignorance to the evil around them. Mizi's cracking, and she shows Sua when she pulls back her hair. It's an interesting contrast between MiziSua and IvanTill, when Mizi and Sua smile, they look happy to be in love, even if it's twisted and hurts each other, because they only rely on each other, and Ivan and Till look inconsolably pained.

[periludic]

Hello! can you write a sick mc in step 1 of Ol2 and tamarack and qiu just stay by them to keep them company and treat them with treats while their sick I'd like for them to be crushes

" SICK "

📌 Pairing: Step 1 Qiu/Tamarack x GN!MC (Separate)

Qiu "Autumn" Lin

Knew you were sick before you yourself knew

Definitely not because he stares at you for long periods of time. haha.

Checks up on you the day after to see if you really are sick

And surprise surprise! You were!

He kindly asks your Mom if he can check up on you in your room, and of course, asked you if he was welcomed inside your personal space as well

Qiu sits down on the floor next to your bed and stays there for a while, asking about how you're feeling and if he could get you anything at all

After a while though, he stands up with the promise of coming back, before dashing out of the door, leaving you confused

But really, he just went back home to ask his parents if he can stay at your place for the afternoon and got a few snacks to share!!

And if you wanted anything you couldn't get in your house, he made a quick trip to town to get whatever it is you wanted

Watches over you like a hawk

If you dare make one teeny tiny pained noise this stinker goes into full panic mode

"Are you okay? You're not dying are you? I am sorry!"

Meanwhile you stare at him in confusion because why is he apologizing over you being sick as if it was his fault??

Speaks in a softer voice just in case your head hurts, and because he's really worried about you

Would not let you lift a finger, he's spoiling you today and there's nothing you can do about it

Well that's not entirely true, if you get sad or angry about him doting on you too much he would let you do whatever you please

But he's staying by your side no matter what

If you're upset over the fact that you're sick, he spends hours sitting below you on the floor next to your bed trying to stay as close as he could without making you feel uncomfortable telling you funny adventures he, Baxter and Darren had

"Qiu. Get away from me you'll get sick" "But :("

He definitely gets sick a day or so after, but does he regret it? No.

He'll go through anything for you <3

Tamarack Baumann

This girl is prepared

Came over to your house ready with medicine, soup her grandma made, a wet cloth, etc. etc.

Your Mom lets her come inside your room (with your permission of course) because for one, she's a busy woman. And two, Tamarack seems to know what she's doing

Frowns so hard when she sees you sick and uncomfortable

She cares about you so much it actually hurts her whenever you're in any kind of pain

Tamarack was in a state of panic when she first saw you miserable in your bed

"(Name)!! How are you feeling? You're not hurting anywhere are you?" "I feel like I am dying" "Nooooooo!!!!"

Will not leave your side unless you beg her to. What if you fall and explode while she's gone? What if you start hurting and cry?? WHAT IF YOU DIE AND SHE'S NOT THERE???

Yeah. It gets intense with her.

Compared to Qiu's soft doting she's in full on in doctor mode

Whenever you cough or sneeze a lil she's on her feet ready to get you anything

"What? What is it? Medicine? Water??"

You'll have to periodically remind her that you're not in that much pain and that getting sick is normal

Is ready to fan you herself if it starts getting really uncomfortable and hot because lets face it you probably don't have a working AC in step 1 yet

Will sing praises and reassurances if you get scared

The only time she leaves you is when you ask her to get something from downstairs or another room

Other than that she'd glue herself onto you if she could

You actually recover quickly after her visit, its honestly a miracle

Her Omi and Opa wouldn't mind if she stays over at your house until late into the evening

Even when you're feeling better, she'll still stay close to you

Would be offended if anyone tries to separate the both of you

You can't take her away from her precious neighbor!!!

[kenah-sturniolo]

GROW OLD WITH YOU

PART 3 > you fucked up and I said sorry <

A/N: sorry for taking so long, I’ve been busy with school. Part 3! Enjoy. It’s also a shorter chapter but hopefully it’s still good. Like and reblog. But I take credit 💋

WARNINGS: use of y/n. Swearing. Mention of abuse. Abuse.

Y/n POV:

Deep inside a wounded heart, Lies the memory of a childhood start. Aching pain that won't subside, Ghosts of memories that never died. Every day feels like a fight, Darkness lurking in the light. Haunted by what was done, Haunted by what is gone.

Echoes of voices that once were near, Whispers of sadness that refuse to clear. Every step feels like a struggle, Every day seems like a juggle. But hope shall not be dead, Healing is just ahead. Courage to move through the pain, Happy childhood memories to regain. The past may have left its mark, But it won't define a life that's stark.

A bright future can still form, A new chapter can be born.

My father was my first heartbreak, My mother was my first bully. The house never felt like home, Walking on eggshells day in and day out. We were a perfect family from outside, But inside everyone was living a slow death.

You never apologized to me for hurting me, but I apologized to you 12 times for being angry about it. You fucked up — yet I said sorry.

Children don't get traumatised because they get hurt. They get traumatised because they're alone with the hurt. The abuse wasn’t new. It was old. It seemed normal — deep down I knew it wasn’t. But I was so use to it I didn’t know what normal was.

I convinced myself that panic attack, anxiety and fear of my parents was just a part of my daily life.

My brain working like clockwork, messing things around and confusing the difference between normal and what my brain thought was normal.

Sure I’ve had and have fears. Heights, spiders. yeah. Certain people. Definitely. But the fears that linger with the most pain are the ones that I could never bring myself to say out loud — not being good enough, getting attached, and that the only person i have ever been genuinely afraid of was my father.

The way he’d yelled. The way he broke things when he’d have enough. The way he’d abuse, physically, verbally, emotionally, like it was just second nature and habit to do so. He scares me shitless. The way my father says to my mother— your daughter never does what I expect her to, your daughter lets me down, your daughter does that, your daughter does this, your daughter does— your daughter— your —

like I'm not his, never his.

I don’t get why he does though. It always just starts a fight “she’s not my daughter!” My mom would yell back. The bickering would continue for hours. “Shes not mine” “she’s a disappointment” “I wish we got that stupid abortion” it just kept going. Yeah I get it- you don’t want me.

No matter how many times I’ve heard those same insults, I still feel my heart break each time. Sometimes I wish I did kill myself when I was 14. When the weight of the pain and stress got too much. I stand in front of the mirror picking at myself bit by bit until I feel like I could snap at any moment. Wishing I’d just break. That I’d confront them. Maybe even tell them how I feel.. but of course that’d never happen. I’m too scared for that.

————

This morning had been rough. Yelling, swearing — abuse. I didn’t do anything. “Bullshit” his voice rung through my mind “don’t change thee fuckin’ topic y/n!” “how are you such a failure?!”

How am I supposed to respond. He was spilling insults at me from left, right and centre.

One statement really stabbed me in the back the hardest “you’re such a time waster. Always complaining. Always being rude-“ his tone sharp, always is. He’s careless- heartless. When the tears slowly blurred my vision it just pissed him off even more.

“Pathetic.” He spat out causing more tears to stain my cheeks. He hates it when people cry, says it makes them weak. Or that it shows just how much power people have over them if they can make them cry. The hard slap to my face deepened the fear I felt towards him. He’d abused me before. Whenever he didn’t get his way — he’d take it out on me as if it were some stupid ‘coping mechanism’.

As if my life wasn’t depressing enough I found myself in the school library — again — alone. Reading, thinking, holding back emotions that’s threatened to spill out Everytime the librarian would check on me. I can’t do this anymore.

It’s all just too much. The yelling. the abuse. My family in general.

The library door creaks open. I think nothing of it. It’s probably just another kid from the robotics club coming to get or return another book. To my surprise Matt sits next to me. By instinct I look down. I don’t want him to see me. It would ruin me if he saw the red swell on my cheek.

“Hey..” his calm voice brings comfort, I keep refusing to look up at him. What will he think? That I’m some psycho loner from a crazy family. That I spend all my time reading trying to escape from the world.

“Hi…”

I keep my head down, voice gentle and my body on the verge of shaking — intensely.

He wrapped his arm around me. I’ve never been hugged before, other than by Grammy. But to be hugged by someone so sweet and caring who wasn’t family.. that’s new. Yet it’s nice- really nice.

My body gently leans into his touch. He notices the swell on my cheek and luckily doesn’t say anything. It’s like he understood I’d break down at any moment in stead all he said was a sweet “breath..it’s just a bad day- not a bad life..” it comforted me.. but he doesn’t know the truth. God it is a bad life. A really bad one.

I tried to focus on him but my mind kept circling back to this morning. The way my now dad hurt me. The way he fucked up. And the way I said sorry.

Nearly had me in tears.

A/N: sorry again for not posting when I said I would. Let me know if you wanna be tagged and thanks for reading.

Mini tag list: @nicks-bubbles @ed1tssturnn @mattspillowprincess @sturns-mermaid @emely9274 @viviansturns @humpster35 @chrepsi @slvt4subchratt @secretaccountx5 @starrii-sturns

[shmaimy]

Okay, I had a thought a few days ago and have been trying to get it right. But. I think I figured it out. (Don't expect 100% accuracy)

So, Pallas and Athena. Athena bursts out of Zeus' head, and confusion and chaos and Hera, so Athena ends up at Triton's camp/school/military base thing. There, she meets Pallas, Triton's daughter, and as such, is Poseidon's granddaughter. The two become close, very close. I've seen them be close as sisters and be lovers, and I'm not 100% sure what they were, but, I mean, they were Greek...

Nevertheless, Pallas means everything to Athena. Athena grows close with Pallas' family, I mean, her mom lives in her dad's head and said dad kicked her out, so...

Then, tragedy strikes. Pallas dies at Athena's hand. Whether it is a true accident, or Zeus' pride... Athena doesn't know what to think. She is sent away, basically banished by the grieving, who forget that she, too, is grieving a great loss.

Poseidon remains bitter, and continues pushing Athena away. They both remain bitter towards the other for thousands of years, and encourage their children to do so as well.

Put a pin in that.

Remember how there were a bunch of people that were really angry about Annabeth's casting? They were wrong, of course, but hear me out. Leah does look practically opposite to how Annabeth was described in the books. In fact, Walker looks more like Annabeth than Leah does (though, you gotta admit, they are their characters irl too, especially Walker)(also, i think the Annabeth being assumed to not be smart because she was blonde doesn't work as well as institutionalized and the many other types of racism. Athena's "gift/curse/however Annabeth described it" is still at play, so people really need to stop it with the hate towards Leah and Riordan)

ANYWAY I think it would be interesting if they made blondeness/light hair a Poseidon trait, and that's why Athena has avoided it like the plague since Pallas' death: its too painful. Contrastly, Poseidon gives his children light hair in honor of Pallas, as well as to torment Athena.

Specifically, Percy looks basically exactly like Pallas. It would drive this point further if the casting of Athena looks just like Annabeth, too. Thus, when Athena first tells Percy, "I do not approve of your relationship with my daughter," we see so much more than just a spat over Athens (I mean, really, a salt water spring?), we see a romance to last the ages, and a tragedy who's thorns grow ever sharper. Athena is not just being selfish, not wanting a reminder of love lost, but she knows the fierceness of an ocean's love, and would not wish it lost on anyone, especially one of her own. Percy has had a choice thrust upon him: he will be the prophecy child. To the best of everyone's knowledge, Percy will die at 16. Athena will do everything in her power to not hear her daughter cry tears over a child of the sea, not even she knows then so well herself.

(It could also be interesting if Percy looks like a mix of Athena and Pallas (because we know genetics are weird with the Gods), since that would cause extra pain in Athena's heart)(also makes Poseidon extra sad)

(OR Athena makes all her children look like Pallas to honor her. I don't like that one as much)

I also really like an idea I had that it was NOT Poseidon and Athena who invented the chariot, or however that went. Pallas and Athena invented it together, and Athena still uses that first chariot to this day.

Also, it could add some nuance to the Mark of Athena. When the Romans stole Athena, they erased Pallas from her story. Minerva looks like Pallas, and her love for Pallas is gone. She is not just searching for herself, she is searching for the string so interwoven with her own they are the same: she is searching for the soulmate erased from her story.

ALSO, or would be interesting to see this dynamic play out in the 4th book, when Percy is thought to be dead.

I want this to be released as a short film (I would be a great Pallas???? Think about it???? Am I selfish to think that??? Ambitious??? Yes???? What's your point?????????)

[finalresidentevilfantasy]

Never Be Enough.

Warnings: Cheating, angst, female reader and use of Y/N.

Summary: Leon's cheating but she knew deep down she could never compete with Ada.

A/N: Hi guys! I'm back with another post! This was taken and adapted from my old blog! I hope you all enjoy!

W/C: 2.2K

She knew deep down that this was always going to happen, she knew that he would never fully belong to her. She wished she could make him happy but she never could, not fully. She wanted so much to hate Ada she really did but she just couldn't, it wasn't her fault Leon didn't love her with everything he had, nor was it his. Unfortunately everyone knew before she did.

“Y/N, we need to talk.” Claire said as Y/N answered the door, her brows furrowed in confusion.

“About?” She asked the question but could bet she knew the answer, Leon had barely been home, working late, the usual behaviour.

“Leon.” Claire sighed and watched as the gears turned in Y/N's head, this wasn't going to shock her and Claire wanted nothing more than to comfort her but she wasn't sure Y/N would ever speak to her again after this.

“What about him?” She bit her lip, she knew and Claire's heart broke in two as she looked at the defeated look on her face, but she carried on anyway, she needed to hear this.

“Listen, I’m so sorry I have to be the one to tell you this, I wish I didn’t.” She sighed. “Leon's been cheating on you, with Ada.” She whispered out and she hoped maybe Y/N wouldn’t have heard, maybe she could forget she ever came here and was the one to break her heart. No such luck, she’d heard.

“I thought so.” She sighed in defeat, eyes finding the floor, Claire felt her heart break as she watched Y/N swallow back tears and keep herself composed.

“I’m so sorry. It started a couple of months ago.” Claire felt her own tears.

“Did everyone know?” She asked and it was so quiet and the heartbreak was so evident that Claire felt her tears fall, she didn’t want to answer this question.

“I’m so sorry, we found out last month. Y/N, I wanted to tell you, I did but he said he was going to and then kept coming up with excuses as to why he hadn't yet.” Claire rambled as she watched Y/N slowly nod as tears made their way down her cheeks.

Y/N had this look about her that was enough to break anyone’s heart, she realised in this moment that the person she could rely on the most, run to for any problem was the cause of her pain. She sniffled as she looked at Claire and sighed, composing herself slightly.

“Thank you for telling me, I think. Well thank you for growing a conscience after a month. I think you should go.” She wasn’t angry, she was hurt. She had no one left she could seek comfort in. Claire nodded.

“I’m sorry Y/N. I wanted to tell you, I really did but I couldn’t, you were so happy and no one wanted to hurt you. I will still be here if you need anything.” Claire said with a sad smile as she left and heard as her door slammed shut.

Y/N broke down, she cried for hours. The pain in her heart was unbearable, she loved Leon more than she could ever put into words, he was her everything. How does she come back from this? Could she forgive him? Pretend she'd never been told so she could keep him that bit longer? She couldn't, no matter how much her heart wanted to her head couldn't follow.

She felt like she’d been stabbed in the back by every single person she’d put her trust into. She knew this was it, when Leon eventually came home that it was the last time she’d see him before she left the house for good. It would be the last time she saw any of them again, she couldn't move past the betrayal of everyone knowing and no one telling her, how they must've all been mocking her behind her back. Even though deep down she knew, she'd hoped her friends would tell her, then again, who was she kidding? They were all Leon's friends first. Of course their loyalties would lie with him, it was unfair of her to expect anything else.

She cried and screamed into her pillow as she wrapped herself in her duvet, she was so heartbroken that she didn’t have it in her to fight tonight and she hoped sleep would take over before Leon came home and she could deal with this tomorrow. But of course the real world was cruel and tended to step on those who were already down. She heard the front door shut and she cried harder, he'd come home early for once, she was going to have to face him and she didn’t want to.

She didn’t want to face him right now, she couldn't, she wanted to sleep and she wanted to deal with the further heartbreak tomorrow, her heart couldn’t take anymore pain today. Of course he heard her, heard her cries of heartbreak and she wondered for a moment if he knew why, but he had no idea, he’d gotten away with it for so long he must've stopped worrying, probably stopped caring if it hurt her in the end.

She heard as his feet rapidly made their way up the stairs and she wanted to hide, wanted to curl up into a ball underneath the bed and just hide from the world. She’d given him so much, she’d done everything for him, been as supportive as she could, worked for months to get him sober, help him through his traumas. She was there through every nightmare, every relapse and it wasn’t enough. She wasn’t enough yet tried so hard to be, but she could never be Ada Wong, no matter how hard she tried and the worst part is that it wasn't his fault he's in love with her, no one can help how they feel. But she wished he'd have just ended things, never let her fall harder for him than she already had.

She heard the bedroom door open and she curled further into herself, she would allow herself to show him how much he’d ripped her heart out, she wanted him to see how open and vulnerable this had left her so that tomorrow morning when she finally confronted him, maybe he’d care, maybe he'd put her first for once.

“Fuck, sweetheart are you okay?” He sounded worried. He was a good actor though, he’d strung her along for months. He made his way around to her side of the bed and crouched down next to her, she stuffed her face further into her pillow as he smoothed out her hair. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong? What happened?” He sounded like he cared but he didn’t, he can’t have cared otherwise he wouldn’t have done this.

She couldn’t answer, she just cried harder, because she wondered if he loved her at all, if he felt anything or if she was just someone to warm his bed at night, someone to help fill the void Ada had clearly left behind all those years ago. The more serious they got the more she thought that maybe she'd wormed her way into Leon's heart, taken Ada's place but instead she felt stupid and naïve.

“Baby are you gonna tell me what’s happened?” He asked as he moved so he was behind you on the bed and she shook her head, she was lost in there right now. He pulled her back against his chest and tried to soothe her. Every sweet nothing he whispered felt like it was killing her in the slowest way possible, it had the opposite effect it usually would.

At some point she'd fallen asleep, he’d asked countless times what had happened and she’d cried until there were no tears left, until exhaustion had completely consumed her and she allowed herself one last night in his embrace.

Of course the little sleep she’d had was horrendous, she still felt tired when she woke the next morning.

She pulled herself from Leon's grasp and made her way downstairs as she looked at her phone.

Claire: I’m so sorry Y/N. Please let me know you’re okay.

Chris: Claire told me she told you. I’m sorry, I’m here if you need anything.

She was aware she looked like shit, aware that it wasn’t over yet, she’d cried her heart out until it was dry and now she was about to take the final step and rip it in half.

The world really was a cruel place, she wanted to think about how she was going to approach Leon but she was robbed of that as well as everything else as he entered the kitchen, rubbing his eyes.

“Can we talk about last night baby? Are you okay?” Leon said as he eyed his girlfriend carefully and she felt her anger rise to a level that she'd not experienced in quite some time. How dare he.

“Don't ‘baby’ me. I don’t want to hear a single fucking pet name out of your lying mouth ever again.” She gritted out at him and he looked taken aback, truly taken aback at her anger.

“What’s wrong?” He asked cautiously, she could see the gears turning in his head as his panic rose, he knew she knew. He visibly gulped.

“How’s Ada?” She seethed and he swallowed hard as he looked at her. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen someone look more heartbroken and angry at the same time, it frightened him a little.

“Y/N, I love you, okay. It was a mistake.” He tried calmy and she flared her nostrils as she felt her anger boil over. She found it easier to focus on the anger, the heartache had been too much.

“Bullshit, you don’t fucking love me, let’s get that straight. A mistake? No Leon, a mistake is forgetting to pick up milk not sleep with your," She thought for a second ex? She wouldn't know what to call Ada. "well whatever she is to you." She shouted and he hung his head.

“Y/N, please. We ran into each other on my last mission, tensions were high and I don’t know it just happened. I don’t love her, I love you.” He suddenly looked at her frantically, trying to step towards her but for every one step he took she took two back.

“I don’t really want to hear it Leon. It happened because tensions were high? You carried on for months afterwards.” She snapped and he felt his tears leave his eyes. The truth was he didn’t love her, he really did love Y/N, he couldn't explain his actions, he had poor judgement when it came to Ada, but they both knew that. He has no real excuses for what happened, the sneaking around was fun he supposed, maybe he’d not fully thought about what this would do to her. But he could see it now, he saw it last night as his own heart broke watching her break down in a way he’d never witnessed before and he caused it.

“I’m sorry. Please can we talk this through?” He asked as he tried to step closer as she took a step back.

“Talk? There’s nothing to talk about. You cheated on me and I don’t forgive that, there’s nothing to save between us.” She said and she felt the anger wash away as she said the words, this was it. A two and a half year relationship gone with the click of some fingers, the man she loved was now a stranger stood in front of her. She felt the tears again and when she looked up at Leon he was already crying.

“I’m sorry, I love you, I really do. She means nothing to me.” Leon said desperately as he watched her make her way towards the door. “Please don’t leave, stay and we can talk this out.” He pleaded and she sniffled as she turned around to look at him.

“Leon, hearing that she means nothing to you is worse. It confirms the fact that I wasn’t enough, I made you bored, or I didn’t love you with enough of me to make you feel complete and that hurts worse. At least if you were in love with her I’d understand better why you carried on betraying me, but I don’t. But it's all a lie Leon, I know she still means something to you, please don't insult my intelligence by suggesting otherwise. I really really wished I could've been enough for you Leon, I really do, but I'm not and I can't give you anymore of myself trying." She smiled sadly as she opened the door to leave. “Do what you want with my stuff, I don’t want any of it.” She made sure to slam the door on her way out.

[gamerbearmira]

babies :(

Someone help them 😞 nah but I'm on a roll with this angst, it's all I can write right now??? Except Mama Isa, that's not angst.

For now.

it get lets

-----

All of them sat in the many chairs and sitting spots littered around the small space. The dust from the plaster and spackle hung in the air, though it long since stopped bothering them.

It was quietly really quiet. But that was how they wanted it. Better to be in the company of each other than stand to be outshined by their mothers and uncle. It's not like anyone had noticed that they were gone yet. And they likely wouldn't until the party was wrapping up. Then they would be called to help clean up of course.

That was about the only way they were able to help in their Abuela's eyes.

Antonio sat curled up in Isabela's lap as she sat in the big red chair. He didn't cry. He wasn't sad. Sure, he didn't want a gift. And he didn't get one. He wasn't even necessarily upset, just...confused. He had expected the look in his Abuela's eyes, but he didn't expect the pain that came with it. The disappointment. It hurt.

And he knew his sister, and brother and primas went through it everyday.

"Isa?" Antonio asked softly. He didn't look up to look at her, continuing to stare at the arm of the chair, picking at the loose thread. He knew the others were glancing at him.

"Yes, Toñito?" She asked softly, petting his curls back. Though they were on his head, her hands smelled faintly of dirt and the orange jacarandas she had been putting up earlier that day after spending all month stringing them carefully into wreaths.

"Why..." Antonio stopped himself. He looked up at Isabela. His big, brown eyes that held no sadness, but confusion instead. "Why did she look at me like that?"

Isabela's eyes widened a bit and her eyebrows furrowed slightly. The others then finally turned to look at him, before looking at each other. Isabela wasn't really sure how to answer.

"Because she thinks we're unworthy of her 'precious candle'" Camilo mummured, his fingers going up in air quotes at the last two words, mostly in a mocking manner based on his voice.

"Camilo!" Dolores seethed, elbowing him.

"What!? He's not stupid, he would've figured it out anyway! It's true!" Camilo shouted, shooting up. He wasn't yelling out of anger at Dolores so much as he was at the idea of what they were in the eyes of their Abuela.

They didn't want to admit it, but he was right.

Antonio looked at his older brother, who slumped back onto the bench, leaning against the wall with crossed arms. He turned his head, hiding his behind his hair, but they could all see the tears welling up in his eyes.

The youngest looked up at the oldest among them. "Will she ever like us?" He asked softly. Everyone froze.

Isabela spoke up with a strained smile. "I...I don't know," Isabela said, brushing his hair back with a gentle hand. "She loves us. I know that. But I don't know if she'll ever like us, like us in the way she does Mamá, Tía Pepi and Tío Bruno," she said quietly.

"Is it because we don't have gifts?" Antonio asked, even quieter.

"Yes," Camilo grumbled from the corner. He sniffled, wiping his eyes with his poncho. "That's exactly why."

Antonio stared at Camilo. "But why?"

Camilo finally turned to Antonio. His eyes were red and were starting to get puffy. "Because, Antonio," Antonio had alrrady tensed up at the use of his full name. Camilo never said his full name. "Abuela loves that candle, those gifts, more than she does us. We're below a glowing piece of wax."

Antonio kept staring. But his eyes seemed to look beyond his brother. Camilo's face seemed conflicted, as if he regretted telling his barely 5 year old brother something like that, but he also looked angry, and a mix of other emotions.

It was dead silent. No one spoke. Dolores squeaked softly, her eyes darting between everyone. Isabela stared at Camilo, who refused to make eye contact. Luisa and Mirabel exchanged looks, their faces set in grimaces. No one really knew what to say. What to do. The silence was deafening, and eventually, Dolores couldn't take it much more. She never liked the quiet.

"Well! U-Um, I think Papá is calling us! So I think it's best we go see what's up," she said, her voice shaking a bit. "Sounds like the party's dying down anyway!"

Camilo was the first to stand, leaving the small room and walking into the short hallway behind the wall before the sound of thr painting opened and swung close. Luisa and Mirabel stood up next, both glancing back before following after. Dolores lingered behind a bit longer, looking between her cousin and brother before darting off.

Isabela didn't sit much longer, standing Antonio on the floor and grabbing his tiny hand. They walked, and Antonio didn't say anything, walking slowly as he stared at the ground. Isabela didn't push. She knew better. Both her and Dolores learned long ago that it just did more harm than good.

She helped Antonio out of the oainting, where the others were already waiting. Just as the painting closed, the nursery door swung open, and Felíx burst in with a smile. He began rambling on about a birthday present he and Pepa had gotten (mostly him), setting it down on the small dresser in the room. There was noise coming from it.

Antonio was only half listening, a somewhat real smile plastered on his face as his father explained why he got the gift and what have you. Isabela had squeezed his hand, and she had been waiting for him to react, to respond. Finally he did before his hand slipped away and he walked over to the strange shape drapped in fabric.

All 5 of the others watched Antonio, with sad knowing looks. Maybe, just maybe, they could protect him from the disappointment and pain that awaited him.

-----

Sigh when will they be happy we might never know (me and my mutual do)

Anyway, here’s Antonio getting his gift (NOT HAHAHAHA)

[beelsfridge]

Goodbye (For Now) Pt.2

Pt.1

Nightbringer Spoilers Ahead (maybe a little ooc)

Tags:(Angst/TBD)(TimeTravel)(SayingGoodbye)(hurt/comfort)

(Idk how to tag properly)

///

Synopsis:

You knew you weren’t suppose to stay in the past for that long. You knew you didn’t belong there. You had to get back to your time eventually.

And even if the brothers were warming up to you again, you had to say goodbye. The worst part was that they would never know why you really left.

.

.

“They mean forever Mammon. It means they’re never coming back.”

.

.

.

“Huh?! What are ya saying Satan?! Stop bullshitting!” Mammon yells at him.

You could feel all eyes on you stare you down in confusion.

“He’s right Mammon..”You say in a less enthusiastic tone than before. Mammon lols betrayed by your words as he steps back away from you.

“You’re leaving?…”Leviathan says with clear disappointment.

“I am..”You say as the air grows thick around you.

It’s quiet. A tension between you and the brothers that quickly becomes suffocating until Asmo throws himself toward you.

“You can’t leave!” Asmo yells out as he clings onto your arm,”You can’t! Who else will let me talk about myself and agree with everything I say?!”

“Asmo…”You say with a pained expression as you look to the others.

Beels eyes can’t meet yours as he mumbled something about no longer being hungry while Belphie mutters something about having a bad dream.

“Why?!” Satan says grabbing you by the collar of your RAD uniform as he yanks you from Asmo in anger,”You’re suppose to be our attendant! You can’t just leave!”

“Satan let them go you’re going to hurt them!” Asmo says.

Satan doesn’t move his grip from you and all you could feel is the anger and resentment radiate off of him.

You try to come up with a believable excuse. After all, they can never truly know why.

But why are they acting this way?

“Diavolo said I’d be your attendant until you’ve all adjusted to being in Devildom…” You tell him as you avoid eye contact,”And you’ve all adjusted to your lives here already so…”

“Bullshit!” He tells you immediately,”That’s not the reason and you know it! Tell me the truth!”

“Oi Satan! Calm down!” Mammon says.

“I can’t stand being here anymore.” Levi says bitterly.

“Let me go Satan..”You tell him with a sad expression.

You can see his angry expression change to one with guilt as he lets his grip on you go hesitantly.

“I just don’t …understand why...” He tells you.

You don’t respond to him. You didn’t think they’d be this upset over you leaving.

After all…they always didn’t seem to care when you were requested to appear at the House. Would it have been better to have just disappeared and not say anything like Solomon wanted?

You feel a gentle touch on your hand,”Don’t go MC..” Mammon tells you with a sad expression.

“I’m sorry Mammon..”You say pulling away from his touch,”Maybe you guys will understand one day…”

“Then why not help us understand now?…”Belphie asks,”Why?…” He seems hurt by your words,”Did we mean so little to you?.. sure..we weren’t ..best of friends ..and expressing ourselves hasn’t been easy..but ..didn’t we mean something at least?…”

“Of course you did. ….You don’t know how much.” You say honestly,” Truth be told…i was never meant to say goodbye ..the plan was to just disappear without ever saying a word.”

“That’s cruel.” Beel tells you.

“You were just gonna leave us and not saying anything?” Levi says hurt by your words,”Who does that…?”

“Would it have been better that way?” You ask them honestly,

“Of course not!” Asmo tells you.

Belphie shakes his head in disbelief,” I can’t believe this conversation is happening.” Beel hums in agreement.

This didn’t make sense. Sometimes you’d go days without seeing them and when you did reappear you were hardly acknowledged unless you were in the midst of their schemes. And let’s not forget the whole reveal fiasco that occurred.

“I don’t understand.” You tell them,” I thought you guys…didn’t like me?”

“What’s MC blabbering about-“ Mammom says clearly confused,”We care. Did you not pick up on it?”

“You ..”You say confusingly,”You….you care about me?”

“Of course we do!” Mammon says angrily,”Where did you get the idea we didn’t?!”

Been hums in agreement.

“Oh…” was all the words you made out. Did you just misunderstand? Or did you not notice that these versions of the brothers had different ways of showing they cared about you?

Oh..

You could feel the hot tears begin to fall down your cheeks,”Well..cause I was a demon and then I lied about it so I assumed…. “

Everyone looks at you with sad and tearful expression as you start to cry.

Levi has a surprised look on his face,”H-hey wait -don’t do that.”

“Waaa! Don’t cry MC! You’re gonna make me cry!” Asmo says as he hugs you lovingly as his face begins to tear up.

“I’m ..”you say between sobs,”I’m so grateful to have met you guys. I’m really going to miss you all.”

“When you say it like that..”Mammon voices breaks as he attempts to hold back his emotions,”Ah dammit MC, ya making me all emotional.”

“And we will miss you as well.” Another voice speaks out from behind.

“Lucifer?..”You say trying to stop your tears as you turn to his direction.

His expression is soft yet still stern. However in his eyes holds glints of sadness at your appearance.

He sighs deeply,”I had a feeling ..that this day would...” He tells you.

“but I was also hoping…”He says his eyebrows furrow,”that it would never come…” He says with a disappointed tone.

He looks at his brothers before looking at you.

He sighs as he grabs ahold of your hands,”I’m not the best, when it comes to expressing my true feelings..however..I think I can speak for all of us when I say..we are thankful for all you’ve done for us… you made the transition of living here, in the Devildom, easier. And We couldn’t have done it..without you…”

You can’t recall a time where he’s ever been this honest. But his words seem to Pierce your heart completely as you feel your eye bubble up again with tears.

“We will be sad…to see you go…”He tells you squeezing your hands tightly for a brief moment.

You can’t help it! It’s all just too much!

You find yourself hugging Lucifer tightly as the tears stain your cheeks. After a few moments you feel a hand pat your head gently.

“Thank you..”You whisper to him. You didn’t know how badly you needed to hear him say those words to you.

When you pull away you look at everyone else. While you’re sad that you have to leave them. You know they’ll be waiting to see you again.

One by one, you hug each and everyone one of them. Reminding them that they are just as important to you as you are to them.

You remind Belphie that if he ever has trouble sleeping again -to look to the stars and count as many as he can because somewhere out there you’ll be looking at them too.

You tell Beel to avoid eating foods that will upset his stomach and that if he ever feels an uncontrollable hunger to think of silly sad stories about that food. He tells you he’ll try. And you smile because that’s all that matters.

You tell Asmo that when he starts to feel insecure about himself that he needs to your words and chant them to himself until he no longer feels that way.

You remind Satan that he’s doing his best. And one day he’ll realize how far he’s come. And if he ever feels angry, to look at the cats in the yard and befriend them.

You look at Levi, he seems so upset. After all, he thought you’d be friends forever. But you remind him, that you are always going to be friends. No matter where you go, and you tell him that if he ever feels lonely, he needs to remember he has brothers who love him just as he is.

When you break apart from Mammons he pulls you right back in. You feel him hold onto you for his dear life. You feel his body tremble against yours.. and in a quiet whisper remind Mammon that he needs to keep his buttery fingers away from trouble and he laughs. And you tell him, that he is the glue for all his brothers. That he needs to remember he’s just as important as everyone else. That he has to look out for them because they’d be lost without him. He responds with a cocky”I know.” Before he lets your hand go with the last thing he feels is the touch of your fingertips.

And finally you get to Lucifer. Despite his cold touch and attitude, his hug is quite warm.

He tells you with a whisper as he kisses your top of your hand ,” if you should ever need a job as an attendant.” you’d know where to find him. Causing you to both laugh quietly amongst each other. As you pull away from him he grabs your arm gently back.

His eyes say it all.

“Don’t go.”

You grab ahold of his hands and hold them gently in yours with a reassuring squeeze.

And in a quiet whisper….

You bow respectfully to Lucifer.

His head runs circles at your words as he bows back.

“At least send a postcard or sum Yknow.” Mammom wipes his tears with a murmur agreements following his statement.

“That might be a little difficult -“ You tell him with a reassuring smile,”But I’ll try.”

“Don’t worry.” Another voice says. You turn to see Solomon standing there with a smile,” they’re in good hands. I’ll be sure, to pass their messages onto you all.” He extends his hand out to you.

You take it with a smile,”I can go home?” You ask him with hopeful eyes.

“It’ll be like you never left.” He tells you with a knowing smile.

“Alright then… I guess….“You say as you turn back to the brothers.

“Goodbye, for now.”

.

.

[thegreenthepeacetheorange]

Everlark (Mockingjay, Ch. 16)

katniss, in the haze of morphling, remembering that peeta said "always" when she asked him to stay with her... i, too, have been shot

the fact that her morphling-fuelled dreams after being shot are about trying to find peeta in a soft world, smelling cinnamon and dill, and feeling his touch against her cheek. ugh.

"instead of a stab of sorrow, i merely feel emptiness. a hollow of dead brush where flowers used to bloom" - i love this description of her feelings for/relationship with peeta. they were flowers that were blooming, vibrant, full of life and possibility. and it's so sad that she now feels like it's dead brush. something something dandelions

(gale and katniss again fundamentally at odds. the cracks aren't even cracks anymore)

katniss specifying that she only allows herself to get peeta updates from haymitch

annie getting married wearing one of katniss's dresses and finnick wearing one of peeta's suits. oh

the wedding cake!!!

they took so much from us in mockingjay part 2, including: the cake, haymitch telling katniss to see it from peeta's side, all their other conversations about peeta etc etc. but particularly the cake because it was a big symbol of hope

and she knew it was his work at first sight, from so far away

the fact that haymitch seemingly hasn't left peeta's side since peeta got to 13 makes me cry

"never was i supposed to hear the words he says he'd like to see you. but now that i have, there's no way to refuse" - she can't refuse him, she simply can't.

"those blue eyes lock on me instantly" - they're still those same blue eyes she's got lost in before. it's always those blue eyes.

hijacked peeta saying that katniss isn't particularly pretty is a very sad moment. of course she gets defensive and bites back, that must have really hurt

katniss's instinct to be angry with him, shout, scream, argue, and she doesn't even know what about is so katniss. she does this thing out of fear/worry. like when she thought she lost peeta in the first games and that he'd died when they split up to get food and her deep fear of losing him spilled out as anger and picking a fight with him.

again, the pain in her chest.

the fact that peeta speaks about her in the rain softly. oh my poor confused hijacked boy

peeta remembering the moment that katniss has never said aloud. but from his perspective. he tried to catch her eye and she looked away, towards the dandelion that gave her hope. and he noticed all this. oh he doesn't even know what he means to her and my heart hurts.

her account in the first book is that she caught him staring at her from across the school yard, their eyes met for a second before he turned his head away and she dropped her gaze embarrassed onto the dandelion. the fact that both of them just wanted to speak to each other post-peeta giving her the bread and they just couldn't. and then ended up in the hunger games together 5 years later. my god,

"i must have loved you a lot" the past tense hurt me so i know it hurt katniss. her voice catching as she says "you did"

her not being able to say she loved him when he asks her is just indicative of katniss not wanting to be vulnerable and disappointed. and also he's asking her in past tense but she loves him in the present.

i don't read peeta's questioning here is angry or cruel. he laughed in the beginning when they were at each other, and he laughs at the very end when she says she wasn't asking his or gale's permission regarding the other - but his questioning is so clearly the things he's confused about. and she doesn't comment on how he asks her things, just that he does.

and then the bit about peeta "finally" seeing the real her and it's all the worst things she thinks about herself. ugh. i just wanna hug them both.

i'm just going to link this post i made about this last passage and how katniss feels about peeta loving her.

[fluffypotatey]

I think what gets me is that Wukong might never have been angry at seeing Macaque again after 500 years at all. He just didn't want to hurt his friend, despite the way they left off, and Macaque might've been too blind in his own emotions to listen to that. Maybe that's why even now, he thinks Wukong was right about that. Getting killed? He had it coming. So he looks sad when the the gang apologizes to each other for any wrongs. Because he was in the wrong then. He never did say he was angry over dying, just angry about Wukong's tendencies to treat other people, which they never communicated about to clear up.

hm yeah fascinating take. like even in s1 SWK shows no initial surprise or confusion when Macky reappears in his life. just annoyance and disappointment tbh

we only see him begin to question it in s5 and i honestly think that’s because he never let himself wonder why Macky is here now (and also jfc these monkeys are so bad at communicating with each other. leaving so much unsaid and 🫠)

and tbh i have a feeling neither party feel like they are in the wrong. there’s definitely guilt and a longing to have what they lost before, but in the fight itself, neither probably believe they are 100% in the right but also not 100% in the wrong to apologize. does that make sense?

from how i’m understanding it, Macky was upset bc of SWK receiving pain from the circlet and the fact that he “replaced” him with other friends. SWK is upset bc Macky attacked his master and is forcing him to leave the journey, ignorant to how important this journey is for Wukong. maybe they both called each other selfish, maybe they both called each other blind. but neither of them got the ending they wanted in that fight and both probably regret that

^This is, of course, my idea on how lmk will spin this (AND I AM CROSSING MY FINGERS)

[acourtofquestions]

I wann ask, since you've completed EoS, how do you feel about Lorcan now? he had a redemption arc in koA but honestly, I could never truly forgive him. I wanna know your thoughts on what he did

Good question @mysterylilycheeta! — (Thanks for the ask, you always have great ones & I loved thinking on this one :-) — I’ll definitely have to see how it changes over time. And can totally see your point already! P.S. I’m thinking out loud, feel free to skip to the final chapter for the cliff notes, lol🙃

As of right now, it’s kinda weird (I may still be in shock😅): I’m upset with him, but I’m also not surprised? I’m more angry, than disappointed? — What I mean is I kind of expect this from him; it’s like the old “Frog & Scorpion” tale… I wasn’t quite as shocked by the betrayal, because I never trusted him not to betray Aelin in the first place. I’m sad that he did… I’m angry… at so, so many pieces of those chapters; I want to mentally throttle him a lil bit… but I also on some level knew that he was always going to make that choice; somehow he would betray her, somehow his tether would remain with Maeve; there were just too many threads between the Cadre, Rowan, the Wyrdkeys… all of it… the situation was painful & complicated (all the while feeling a few seconds away from easily comfortable/fixable).

You had some of the most powerful players all on the field, yet completely helpless. Gavriel & Fenrys were trying (even though I was a little mad/confused by Gavriel because I don’t know what the blood oath actually does but, he was acting way more injured than he sounded? & I kinda wanted to shake him & say “GO! NOW!! GET AELIN!!!” If for nothing else, then for your son BECAUSE YOU STILL HAVE HIM; YOU HAVE A SON (who isn’t this psychopath) and THEY NEED YOU)! And Fenrys who might have broken my heart most (or close to Elide; of course Aelin was #1 in that scene but as far as the “watchers” go) because he desperately wanted to help her, he was fighting with everything he had (I think he would have died for her right then & there if that was the price saving her required) and while it’s never been fully clear what his “deal” is with her, his character stands alone & says enough. I have no doubt he loves her both for his friend & for the same reason we all do; she is the future, bright, fierce, powerful, loving, joyous, & overflowing with life. How could he not want to serve a queen like that? And the fact he was trying says a lot because (invisible as it may have been in the moment) it was a high price for him; he is risking his only family, he is risking every torture he’s experienced times 10, and he is doing it for someone he barely knows (yet knows too well). Then you have Manon; who obviously wanted to help, but also knew she had to keep the keys, & get Elide out (even Aelin needed to know she would do that) and while I wanted her to do something, I don’t blame her for not; I don’t think Manon had a better option in that moment with that hand she/they were dealt. And the fact she is flinching, almost moving; it says a lot; Manon doesn’t scare easily, and even she is in pain watching. She is also already under the assumption of rescuing Aelin (even if that ending sentence of why was gutting). Elide quite obviously was impossible to watch, she did everything she could, and if she had been allowed she would have gone with Aelin without doubt on the mere whim it would spare her the slightest. And of course, I’m not angry at anyone on the boat because they literally couldn’t have gone any faster (Rowan; despite the fact he will probably regret it; made the right choice to go with the team + honestly I didn’t want to see him see it, Maeve would’ve made it so much worse… a part of me keeps wondering if Aelin was hurrying because of that? Or stalling because she thought they’d save her in time?) and oh Aelin… & then there’s that; beautiful, brave, selfless, Aelin & an idiot😂 (if you think there is a chance in any realm that Aedion & Rowan don’t come for you… honestly it’s sad… it’s sad how surprised she was to learn Ansel had tried to save her; it’s sad that she still believes that😭).

Which again, leaves us with Lorcan (in this already long “thinking out loud” kinda post😅😂 sry lol)… at the end of the day, Lorcan was bound by the oath. Maeve would have found Aelin no matter what. And eventually, he would have had no options even if he had tried. While, he could have pleaded or tried, I think we & he knew Maeve would not listen. And the real problem is in, the fact that is the queen he put his faith in and that is when he did not try. That is who/what he betrayed Elide for. That is what he paid for with Rowan (ROWAN; someone he knows to be a good man; someone he knows cannot live without Aelin… even had to know on some level; she is what the entire world needs… and his friend deserved that peace) & he chose to pay with the love of Rowan’s life, on the hope of saving Elide, the denial of the true monster he served, and perhaps the whim of possibly earning back his devout dark queen. He was full of vengeful rage, and he made a very, very bad choice (not a mistake, a choice). One that he was not bound to do. One that he was not forced to make. One that he knew on some level was wrong, and didn’t know just how true that was until it was too late… and even then, he watched. He watched Cairn maul her, and while he could not look away, he too gave up (and realized that she didn’t, she refused to count, and she would pay a heavy price for resilience, one that was his; honestly it reminded me of Elena… maybe I’m a little raw from Ch. 68, but it seems a parallel of sorts; Aelin grew & grew up, beyond the Assassin who jumped the window for revenge, but Lorcan the immortal was still too young to understand; to know such love… it’s sad… how close he came with Elide… and how he hurt her anyway) and the moment the oath broke… perhaps it did shred his soul, but he had to know right then that he had done the same to a better man and when Rowan said those words… he felt it all. Lorcan wept. He lied, and cheated, and brought death upon them. And I don’t know if anyone will ever forgive him for it, but in a way it reminds me of Chaol; it wasn’t fully his fault (though Chaol had an easier claim to innocence). But for me, in a way, it made sense? I didn’t expect more from him, now the question is will he change; I expect that. Because all cards are on the table, right and wrong is clear, and brutal as it was, he is free; he can make a decision, so… what will it be? Will he do the right thing? I hope he will… because now he has no excuses, the frog, and scorpion sank, he lost Elide, he knows it’s more than a “bitch queen”. He knows exactly what he did; to Rowan, to the world, to Elide; he knows, he feels remorse. & now it’s time to see what he makes of it.

So, in summation: Lorcan has always been complex & a dark/gray moral-based character; this book being the first time we see any other side or perspective. And he has an already long list of poor decisions, and this is one of the worst. He trusted the wrong person. He was selfish. He hurt them. He lied. Lorcan was wrong. She (Aelin) paid the price for it, and he lost Elide & Maeve & then watched Rowan lose Aelin, and Elide lost them both… everyone went down. And I don’t know if I will forgive him; I think this one will always be angering/hurt-filled. But I also don’t think I’ll hate him forever (I’m not even sure I hate him now) I think he is what he is, (not an excuse) and I want a redemption arc. I want Elide to be happy… I don’t think she will be without him. I want Aelin to be okay, and if she can come to a place to forgive him, then I can too. Like Rowan said, he has punishment enough… now is that in comparison to Aelin? No. No, not even close… but he is redeemable. Even if what he did isn’t.

[jasmine-the-fox]

At least the other world's you loves me

Alright so... I love fics where Izuku falls into another world from his with the same people he knows from his own world... but they actually care about him... so i'm making my own version.

Here we go!

Jasmine had never lived a fair life. The one she likes Katsuki Bakugo has always bullied her and made her do things for him without a care in the world for her feelings. Others would make fun of her while the teachers and adults ignore her pain... it broke her heart knowing that no matter what she does... Katsuki would never share her feelings and would treat her like this until one of them dies.

When she got into UA. she hoped and believed that things would be different there... yet she was wrong as she was treated the same way Katsuki does after the first day of school. She did there homework, bought them stuff and when they were placed in dorms... she cleaned everything for them, this made her understand that even if she were to leave... things would never change for the better for her even if she tried to change things for herself.

The sad part was she learned the hard way to never fight back. One time in middle school some girls tried to cut her hair and she fought back... this resulted in her getting beaten up, a torn uniform and her head partially shaved... so after that she kept quiet and tried to keep away from the worst stuff they could do to her as she didn't want to suffer. this as a result makes her go to her room where she cries and prays to god to save her from her pain as she didn't how much more she could take from these people who only want to hurt her.

Then... her request was granted...

She was out doing the groceries for her dorm. She does it at least twice a month because the class always runs out of something they enjoy quickly and she needs to get more before the month ends. As she's heading to the store... a villain runs towards her... and uses his quirk on her... resulting in her going from the sidewalk... to a forest. She had no idea of where she was or how much time it would take for her to get back to the store to do the shopping and then go back to her dorm before the class get's angry with her.

She became scared and greatly confused when she discovered that her phone doesn't work at all. So scared she curls up into a ball and cries as she had no idea what to do or where to go, after a while a figure arrives to her side... it was Katsuki but he looked completely different from the Katsuki she knew and loved. Katsuki took one look at her and then picked her up to bring her to his kingdom to rest, eat and get cleaned up before questions could be asked about who she was and where she was from... with many more questions to follow.

When they arrive. He has servants take Jasmine to take a bath and be changed into clean clothes before being brought to a room and be brought food while he went to inform his parents about Jasmine. Of course she was even more confused than before but there was nothing she could do but allow herself to be washed and dressed and then brought to a luxurious bedroom to wait. A while later Katsuki returns with his parents and food for them to eat... She was sadly nervous about the Bakugo's because they ignored her pain the few times Katsuki had her come over to be yelled at by him.

"We understand your scared but we mean you no harm... we only want to know who you are and what happened to you" Mitsuki explained in a calm tone... This surprised Jasmine greatly as she never heard the woman speak like that... but she did as told... she told them who she was, where she was from and everything that she went through until she landed in there lands. This of course shocks the trio who were being told all of this... but Katsuki was furious with his other self for hurting Jasmine in the first place... he believed she should have been protected and taken care of instead of hurt and abused.

After Jasmine ate her fill, they had decided to let her get some sleep as she was clearly tired. Once out of the room, Katsuki walked off to his study to write letters to his friends who in Jasmine's world hurt her in some shape or form. He didn't go into detail, he only wrote about Jasmine and how in her world they hurt her and he was asking them to come here to his kingdom as soon as they could make time to do so. He knew that once they arrived... He would need to tell them everything and that they would be disgusted with there other selves for what they did to Jasmine in her world.

And he was right...

They came as soon as they could after receiving his letter. He went into great detail just like Jasmine had done for him and his parents... they were all disturbed from what he told them... Ochako looked horrified, Tenya looked ready to collapse, Mina looked ready to faint and Denki looked like he would throw up at any moment. What was worst... was how the ones who were her teachers in her world all reacted... they were pissed at what happened to her and wanted to get Jasmine some justice for what she was put through in the end.

For now though... Jasmine needed time to heal, so they all had to work together now to help Jasmine get better so she could then continue on her own... all the while they worried she would be going back to her world at any moment. They didn't know anything about the quirk that was used on her and as a result they didn't know if she would go back at anytime as they worked to help her "For now... let's just do what we can without thinking about the fact it's possible she could return to her world at any moment" Izuku said making them all nod in agreement.

Meanwhile... in Jasmine's home world...

The class watched as police officers questioned the villain they captured... after he sent Jasmine to another world. They didn't understand why it mattered for Jasmine to come back... she was just a waste of space in there opinion and now she a waste of space in another world far from them... and then they understood that they did something very bad. Because Jasmine did all of there homework... they didn't do any of the work and were now failing there classes, because Jasmine did the grocery shopping they haven't gone yet and had run out of food, because Jasmine got them what they wanted when they wanted it they never did it themselves and now had to and because Jasmine did all of the cleaning they never did it and were now living in a dirty dorm.

They had understood that they had done something very bad to Jasmine... and now regret ever hurting her in the first place...

They had to get her back, they wanted her back so they could apologize and fix there mistakes towards her. Sadly the villain couldn't bring her back "It's a physical quirk. I need to touch the person I send to another world plus it's random so the chances of getting to the world she's in is low" he explained which hurt them even more then before. Knowing that it wasn't possible to bring her back and that they needed someone with a quirk to find her caused them to need to wait... while doing everything Jasmine did for them on there own.

Jasmine on the other hand was beginning to heal and smile. When she woke up, she was told that the room she was brought to was now her's to live in, this of course surprised her but she quickly accepted it and began to slowly learn about the world she lived in. She also met more people from this world that she knew in her world... but they were here to help her and care for her which made her nervous as she didn't know when they would turn against her for something she does wrong.

But the one who cared for her the most... was Katsuki...

He was always at her side when she needed help. He made sure she had anything she could need in her room and made her laugh a lot, he on the other hand... really wanted her to stay and be with him. Katsuki had slowly begun to have feelings for Jasmine and wondered if she felt the same way, at one point as Katsuki watched Jasmine playing in the garden with the baby dragon's from the window, Izuku walked up to him "It won't hurt to try asking her at least? Sure it's possible she rejects you... but you won't ever know until you ask" he said which is what caused Katsuki to be here now.

He had worked hard on making her a lovely pink cloak for her that will keep her warm when she goes out. He placed it into a lovely box and had gone to her room where he now was after asking to speak to her as Mina brushed her hair while she reads a book. Mina had left the room and now... he slowly handed her the box "This is for you" he said simply as she took the box with a smile. She opened it to find the gorgeous cloak he had made her, she loved it and put it on making him so happy that she loved it "I made it... so to ask you to marry me" he said which surprised him.

"You don't have to give me an answer right now... take your time to think about it" he said but she simply smiled and walked over to him "I would be happy to marry you" she replied making him very happy... of course after informing his parents... they announced it the very next day which made Katsuki want to murder them... but Jasmine stopped him while laughing. Of course there was no date placed for the wedding but that could be decided later on, for now they could focus on planning the wedding and then go from there.

As this was happening. The UA class were informed that police had found someone with a quirk to locate someone and send others to them. This made them so happy to the good news... but then it wasn't good "The problem is she's a newborn and has no control on her quirk. Her parents agreed to begin her training as soon as she could do it help you find your classmate... but it will take some time" the officer told them before leaving the dorm building.

The class couldn't believe they needed to wait even longer now before finding Jasmine. They had hoped to bring her back now but clearly that wasn't going to happen "Let's simply prepare things for her so when she returns she will have everything she could need" Momo offered making them all agree to the plan... so they began to make a list of what Jasmine would need while also checking her room... but then they remembered that because of what they did to her... she only had the bare minimum... and nothing that could describe her personality.

This made them all feel even worse than before because of the things they did to her. Knowing that Jasmine never uncovered her likes and dislikes or any hobbies she enjoyed doing because they were making her do things in there place... it made them understand that they would need to work really hard to things with her. Time went by and soon they graduated UA and began there life as pro heroe's... without Jasmine at there side to do any of that... instead she got married in the world she landed in to Katsuki, trained in there ways of combat, bonded with the dragons, took lessons to become queen and was soon going to be starting a family together.

Life was going great for her... but soon it would be shaken... the reason? The girl in her world that could locate her had grown and was now able to help them. She met them in front of UA "Do you have anything that she owned? It will help me locate her" she explained and Katsuki nodded while pulling out a notebook she used in the past. With it the girl was able to open a portal to the world Jasmine was in "I can only keep you there for 24 hours... after that you will be brought back without her because I can only bring her back if you touched her and I open a portal to bring her back through" she explained.

They nodded in understanding and walked through. Finding themselves in a forest made them wonder if they would be able to quickly find her... so they began there search for her... meanwhile Jasmine was in that very forest picking herbs. She was humming a song with a dragon that brought her to the forest laying in the sun near her... when it sprung up and began to growl. This of course startled Jasmine and she quickly got on the dragon who flew her back to the castle... she looked back and was shocked to find her old classmates watching her fly away.

Confused on how they arrived here, she soon arrived back home and was greeted by Eijiro... who she told to him what happened which angered him, he brought her to her and Katsuki's room and told her to rest there for now... then he left to find Katsuki who was out in the garden with some of there friends as he makes clothes for the baby "The us from Jasmine's old world are here" he said which made them all look at him and glare "Where?" Katsuki ordered as he stands up "In the forest. Jasmine was there picking herbs when the dragon growled. She left and saw them as she was coming back" he explained making them all stand up in anger.

Katsuki told them to all be ready by the forest entrance before he get's there... then he went to find Jasmine who was sitting in there bed. She looked slightly worried at what happened and he understood why she was worried... it was possible they were here to bring her back and hurt her once more. He sits by her side and hugs her "I promise to protect you and our unborn child... they won't take you back until i'm dead" he said making her nod all the while scared that he does in fact dies by there hands.

He leaves the room and orders for guards to keep her safe while he's away. He get's ready for battle and then leaves for the forest entrance where he finds the others ready and waiting for him... they then enter the forest together to locate Jasmine's bullies to fight them and make them leave and never come back for Jasmine. Ochako used her magic to locate the group faster and as a result they were before them before they even noticed them there. Izuku used his magic to make a barrier around them so the group wouldn't be able to escape.

Katsuki didn't know how much time had passed since the battle began... but he knew that hours had gone by since it began, his friends were growing tired and some had been knocked out... same for there enemies, he on the other hand was certain he would collapse soon from how drained he was from using his power. Izuku came to his side and took over... which told him to rest and recover what he lost from the battle so far. he nodded to his childhood friend and moved to Ochako's side who got to work on healing him while he watched as the sun and moon moved in the sky to reveal that it was nighttime.

He began to wonder how Jasmine was doing. Was she sleeping? Had she eaten? Was she waiting for there return? He began to worry that she was coming to stop this battle by going with her tormentors to protect the people who cared about her. That was the last thing he wanted and so once Ochako deemed him ready to fight. He got up and moved to continue to battle... Jasmine was unable to sleep. She was too scared for the people she called her friends and husband to sleep as she didn't know what was happening out in the forest... unless her old classmates won and were on there way to the kingdom to bring her back?

"No. There's no way Katsuki would let them win without giving it everything he has" she mumbled to herself... but the fear of losing her husband... caused her to leave her room and go outside to the dragons "Please I am begging you to take me to my husband" she pleaded and to her luck the dragon from the day before allowed her on his back to bring her back to the forest. She hoped to arrive there on time as the last thing she wanted... was to bury her husband and friends after killing the ones who hurt her.

The sun was slowly rising once more. Katsuki wondered how long before they win "Kacchan... I don't think this will end until we kill them" Izuku said making Katsuki nod in agreement. All of a sudden he hears a dragon cry, this makes him look up to find a dragon flying over them... and then lands by them... with Jasmine on his back. This shocked him as he didn't want her old classmates to see her again... but here she was, she got off the dragon and slowly walked over to Katsuki after Izuku had released the barrier "Are you alright?" she asked with clear worry in her eyes.

But he smiled and pulled her slightly closer to him "I'm fine I promise" he says making her nod... and then she stands up and glares at her old classmates "Why did you come here?" she demanded making the ones who were conscious explained everything. But even after they apologized and asked her to come back with them... she refused to do as they wished "For years I only wanted friends to play with and to bond with... and instead i was bullied, used and bossed around like a servant... I prayed to god to be saved from this hell I forced to live in... and then I was brought here... where people cared about me and wanted me to live for myself and be happy... I refuse to return with where I only knew pain" she explained with clear hatred towards them.

Some tried to make her listen to them and change her mind... but Katsuki was focused on her stomach... it was slightly swollen and he noticed how his other self was focused on it... which told him everything he needed to know... so he turned around "Let's go... we're gonna be brought back any minute now and Jasmine doesn't want to come back with us" he said as he walked away. Izuku and the Bakusquad followed after him while carrying some of there unconscious friends... while the others tried to have them come back... only to follow after them a while later.

Once they were gone... Jasmine began helping the ones conscious to bring everyone back to the castle to be treated and then get some sleep. Of course they were stopped by Katsuki's parents. They had been worried since they saw Jasmine fly off for the forest on a dragon's back... Katsuki explained everything to them and they were relieved to know that everything was alright now. They watched as the two walked off to there room... as they both it's the last they will see of anyone from Jasmine's old world.

When Katsuki and the others return to there world, Katsuki turns to the girl "Were not going back... she won't come back" he said before leaving with Izuku and the Bakusquad. The girl nodded while the others were shocked by his words... after they healed and went back to work they all tried to make the Bakusquad and Izuku change there mind and try to go back to return with Jasmine... but they didn't want to listen to them at all and simply ignored them... Mina even requested to be given a new partner as Ochako kept bothering her instead of focusing on there patrol.

In the end Ochako had enough. She found the girl and begged her to send her back to the world Jasmine was in... after a lot of begging and a bit of bribing the girl agreed and sent her back. Knowing she was on a time limit, Ochako began to search for a way out of the forest... only to run into the Tenya of this world "Oh! Hello Tenya. I'm only here to speak to Jasmine for a little bit if that's alright" she lied... she knew that she had to bring Jasmine back and knowing she only needed to touch her so the girl knows to open a portal... it was perfect.

The problem to her plan was that Tenya refused to bring her to Jasmine. So she began to get away from him and found Jasmine by a stream, she grinned as she ran over to touch her... only to be stabbed by Tenya. She was so shocked by this that she didn't make a sound as he brought her to the ground, went over to Jasmine, had her head off in another direction without noticing Ochako behind her... and then worked to bury Ochako as she dies on the ground... and sadly she won't be able to return to her world as the girl can't bring back someone when they die in the other world.

In there home world, Tenya and a few others noticed that Ochako wasn't coming to her patrols... they believed she went to the girl and asked her "Yes she did come to me to send her back... but she hasn't returned even after 24 hours passed... so it's possible that she died there so I can't bring her back" she explained which shocked them all at the news... but what she said next broke them "Don't try to ask me again... i'm done sending you to go find someone who won't come back" she said that and then left them there... they ended up having a funeral for Ochako without a body to bury.

While that was happening... Jasmine continued on living happily without ever knowing of Ochako's fate. Instead she focused on the life that was growing inside of her with a loving husband at her side... While the Katsuki she once loved lived in misery... never to date... never to find love and never to find happiness... because Jasmine had been those things for him from the very start.

But because he was stupid back he was young... he lost her to a him from another world... who was better than him in every way imaginable...

[floralhuqzz]

Apology.. (Johnnie Guilbert x fem reader)

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

warnings: a bit angst

🦇author : I apologize if theres any misspelled words, english is not my first language:)

♱

“Im just tired you know?..” ive been on the phone with my best friend for hours now.

“you just gotta tell him how you really feel y/n,, you can just be ignoring what he does to you and not tell him that its affecting you.” she was right. This past month Johnnie has been almost completely ignoring me, always coming home late, and barely spending time with me… At first i thought I was the problem but what could ive possibly done wrong? Ive been nothing but worried about him, but he keeps refusing to talk to me.

“I just…I just dont get it.” i looked sad, and how couldn’t i? i WAS sad,, Ive been dating Johnnie for 2 years now and he is acting like a total stranger.

“if something happens you know you can always stay at my place y/n” she kindly smiles

“i know… thank you so much… you’re re the best” i smile back

I hear the front door open, “it must be Johnnie” i thought to myself

“Johnnie’s here ive gotta go i love you” i whisper

“ok good luck honey” she smiles as she hangs up

I stand up from my bed and walk out of mine and johnnies shared bedroom..

“Hey babe” he says as he walks towards me to give me a kiss

“hey” i kiss him back and as i was about to walk away he takes me by my arm

“hey whats wrong?” he looks at me confused but i could still feel the worry in his eyes

“what do you mean? im good.” i look at him

“you dont look good to me, just tell me whats the problem” he sounded a bit angry now

“whats wrong with ME?” i point my finger to my chest. “Johnnie whats wrong with YOU” i point at him

“What are y-“ i didn’t let him finish his sentence

“You have been acting weird for this past 1 month Johnnie, why? did i do something? tell me Johnnie.. Ive been nothing but kind to you and worried and thats how you pay me back, for gods sake im the only one communicating in this relationship”… I continue now starting to tear up “You have been ignoring me for this past month… We have been together for 2 years Johnnie… Why are you treating me like this? What the fuck did i do to you to deserve this?…” i wipe my tears “i dont deserve this…”

Johnnie stood there without saying a word, he looked sad, did he feel bad?

“Im….im sorry..” he starts walking towards me

“thats the only thing youre gonna say? youre not even going to give me a proper explanation?..” i looked pissed

“Ive been a complete fucking dick head… I shouldn’t have pushed you away..” he puts his hand on my cheek “I thought you were going to leave me..thats why i distanced myself..”

“why?…”

“i kept overthinking it.. i thought you deserved someone better than me and i freaked out and…completely fucked it all up..im so sorry y/n im… im a fucking idiot,, i wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to leave me i-“ i cut him off

“i dont want..to leave you..” it broke my heart he thought i wanted to leave him..how could i? he is the most important person in my life

he looks at me like he wants to cry too

“you dont deserve me…” he tears up

“johnnie dont say that…we will get through this,, okay? but only if theres communication babe… relationships cant work without communication” i get close to him as he nods

“youre right… im sorry..” he hugs me tight

“i love you so much “ i say as i began to tear up again, he takes my face with both of his hands and wipes my tears “i love you more…and again im so sorry ill make it up to you..” he kisses my forehead as i smile.

“wanna go out? go eat?” he asks me “can we just stay here and watch a movie?”i say as i look at him “of course princess, anything that you want” he kisses me.

Finally, it was all over, all those past days in pain,, they’re gone. It almost feels like i can finally breathe now…Me and Johnnie spent the night watching movies and cooking together, catching up since we barely spoke those past few days, it felt good, it felt right…

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me right now after finishing this fanfic at 3 AM:

[zenixromeave]

aphtober day 6: transformation

Laurance wakes up in the Nether Fortress where he died. He suffers, and he suffers, and then maybe it gets a little better.

Laurence floats in a sea of pain. He really wishes he would just die already– he thought he had, he thought it was over, and then he woke up, every inch of his body screaming in pain. He can't even see, and he doesn't know if it's from tears and blood flooding his eyes or if he's gone blind. He just knows it hurts. It hurts so fucking bad. Every part of him is dying and being reborn, all at once, in the most horrible, unnatural process he's never learned of. He doesn't know that he's becoming the living dead, becoming something other than human, he just knows that anything would be less painful, and he's desperate for it to stop. It doesn't. He can't tell how long it's been, but it feels like a fucking eternity. If there's a hell, he thinks, this is probably it. He must've died and been sent to hell. This is his punishment. He couldn't save anyone, and now he's doomed to an eternity of suffering. He can't say it's fair– no matter how much he hates himself for what happened, there's no way he deserves this. There's no way anyone deserves this. The air around him is so hot it almost burns, and he's sure he'll sweat himself to death– if he isn't already dead– or maybe it'll hurt so bad his own brain will have mercy on him and give up. It doesn't.

Every now and then, someone walks by: always wearing thick, heavy boots– he can tell, from the sound they make on the ground– and does nothing to help him. He can feel their eyes on him. Sometimes, it's not just terrible apathy he receives, but some new form of unending punishment, like a swift kick in the guts with their strong boots. He doesn't know if he responds at all, too absorbed in his own pain to register anything else.

It starts to get a little better, slowly. So slowly, but Laurence can't imagine being more grateful. It hurts so bad, but it still hurts less. He still can't see, and he thinks there's blood pouring out of his eyes, but at least he can feel the puddle forming under his face and the hot, sticky blood through the searing pain. He still doesn't get his hopes up, because if hell were real, this would all be a part of the plan– but he can't help but relish in the relief.

When the pain dissipates enough that he feels like he could maybe crawl, crawl somewhere in the unending, bleeding darkness, a new pair of clunky, steel-toed boots– horrible things studded and spiked with iron, not that he can see– pad towards him. She looms above him, white hair fluttering in the hot wind.

"Can you see me?" Her voice is a little familiar– in the abyss of pain, it's nearly comforting– but Laurence doesn't know who it is. No one else here– in hell– has spoken to him much.

He can't really find it in himself to respond though, and just makes a sad, pathetic noise. He hopes that suffices– or not, he's not sure it matters.

"It's Sasha, you bitch." Her voice is cold and harsh, but it sends hope coursing through his veins. Sasha. Sasha. Sasha. Her name echoes in his head, and her angry tone is lost on him.

It dawns on him that this is certainly a new addition to the torture. He whines again, struggling to form a response. "No. Liar." He mumbles into the slick ground, lips wet with tears and blood. "She died." He chokes on a sob.

"Yeah, after you fucking abandoned me. You left me for fucking dead, you piece of shit. You didn't even try to help me!" She shouts, and it hurts his ears.

He mutters a quiet sound of confusion, trying uselessly to look at her to confirm her existence. "Sasha," He drags out, like a desperate prayer. He sniffles, head filling with the scent of copper. "I miss you," he whispers to her ghost.

"Why are you looking at me like that?! Are you even listening?! You left me!" She shouts, spitting with rage, and she lunges forward, grabbing him by the hair and pulling him up to meet her gaze, if only he could see her.

"Ow! Ow! Sasha!" He cries, trying to pry her hands from his head, "I don't– what do you mean?! I'm sorry, I– I tried, I– it hurts, stop," He chokes on his words and his tears and his blood. "Am I dead? Is this hell? Is this what I get for not being strong enough to save you?" He's pretty sure he's crying a lot, and that would be pretty embarrassing if he could care about anything but the unbearable pain and Sasha's looming presence.

"What?" She lets go of his hair, and he falls to the ground with a thud, and he groans in pain. Something shifts in her brain, like something slid out of place- or slid into place. She remembers that. She remembers being horribly betrayed by Laurance, left for dead with no remorse– but now the memory is overlapped with something else. Of Laurence trying desperately to save his best friend's life, watching her throat slit right in front of him.

"Sasha…," Is all he can think to say, with the pain of being alive sending him halfway to brain dead, and her silence splits through the air, piercing his bloody ears like ice.

"God damn it! Fuck!"

"What? What's-?" He tries to look in the direction of her voice, trying to understand what's happening around him. She gives him no clues.

"You're the worst,-" Her eyes burn with tears, "You little bastard. Fuck. I can't leave you here. I'm sorry, Laur. I thought-" He doesn't understand what that means, the words slipping through his brain, filtered into meaninglessness by the searing pain, but he does understand when she scoops him up, holding him against her chest like a child.

"Where are we going?" He must be staining all her pretty clothes with blood. She used to be the prettiest girl in the whole world, and he wonders how she looks now. He tries to keep himself up, holding on to her shoulders, but he knows she's doing most of the work, and his legs dangle limply above the ground. He wonders if she still wears white.

"I don't know. Just not here."

Laurence falls asleep in her arms, or, more accurately, passes out from the pain of being reborn, in her arms. He's easy to carry though, even when he's not helping her. He's shorter than Sasha, and he's always been scrawny– plus– the blood he's been losing doesn't hurt to keep him light. His bloody nose is right on the shoulder of her ivory white vest, and the rest of him bleeds similarly. He looks so horrible, it kind of makes her want to vomit. His hair isn't even right, the two braids that must've been framing his face are halfway undone each, and all of his hair tangles together. He wasn't a redhead the last time she saw him. Must've been Cadenza. She thinks, for a moment, that Laurence might braid the sides of his hair like that because Sasha always used to do that, and she feels like falling to the ground and sobbing into his shirt.

Gene has the power to change people's memories. Sasha's stomach churns. She's sure, now, that Laurence and Kennie never meant to hurt her.

It's too late now, though. She must be far too gone for them.

It's not too late for Laurence, though. She needs to bring him to the overworld, she needs to keep him safe. His Shadow Knight transformation can't be completed in the overworld, so his pain will end. His eyes are fucked– they won't fix themselves in the overworld, but being blind is far better than being a Knight.