#��i'm going to be completely honest with you. i've always hated you” why can't u say smt unserious back

[lotus-pear]

the dialogue choices in this game should be more diabolical

[p0rk-guts]

YAAAAALL IT'S ANGEL DUST!!!!! bro I'm so exited to tell u about him hehehehe he might be my fav redesign of the bunch idk

Comparison & rant!⬇️ + A bug/spider cw. I put reference images in there!

Ok guys can I be honest with you. I think. Pilot and pre-pilot Angel were peak 😔 I'M SORRY I'M BREAKING MY SILENCE

Like whaaat... WHAAAT.... I'm sorry he served here he had the BEST design idc idc you can't change my mind. These were NOT bad designs. I've got a slight preference to his oldest design but even then the pilot design was great to me.

THIS however...

OooOOOH MY GODDDDD THEY NEUTERED HIM!!?! NO tits, three measly ugly stripes on an uglier coat, LONG GLOVES THAT ARE MISMATCHED??? ONE OF THEM HAS THESE WEIRD... WHITE FLAPS?? WHO— WHAT. WHY. AND THEY GO OVER HIS LONG SLEEVES 😭😭😭

I'm sorry but Angel will always be the most egregious case of character assassination in this show, design and character wise. He sucks now and I used to love him.

Okay enough crying let's get serious.

So yeah show Angel sucks. Removing his chunky gloves removed a lot of the fun shape in his silhouette so now he's just a gangly twink. Very little visual interest. Also hate hate hate how his new mismatched gloves are pulled over his long sleeve coat. So dumb. Hate it.

Also explain to me how he's gradually gotten less tits but has simultaneously become more femboy-ified..... So many people immediately mistake him for a girl.......

They also mistake him for. Literally anything but a spider. Once again Viv can't code or theme characters for shit. I also don't like how his face changed... I can't describe it but It's so much less appealing and charming. Something in the eyes and his little cheek bump. Idk. Really hate show Angel props to the animators for making him watchable with his bold animation ts was real nice

Okay onto my Angel! He's now a goldenrod crab spider now! Thank you @/cryptablog for this idea!! (Not tagging them bc they hate the hellaverse with a burning passion lol 💀) They can be white with pinkish markings like our og Angel but most of them are tinted yellow or completely yellow!

I decided to make him most similar to that mid ground mix of yellow and white with pink-er markings. 1 because I kept lust pink and I feel like that'd be a prominent sin of his (+ purple is in here a lot bc I feel like he'd also be pride aligned! Purple is now the pride color :3) and 2 because the yellow tone in his fur is kinda meant to connect him to Husk in a way... Cuz that's kinda his main color... Idk maybe I'm onto nothing with that one BUT his primary color is purple and Husk's primary color is yellow(ish)! Complimentary boyfriend's!!! Are you seeing my vision!!!!! (Also on a lesser note his colors look more similar to my fav version of Angel aka his design from the pre-pilot ref sheet I showed)

Another idea you can thank Cryptamen for is him being partially translucent in places just like real goldenrods!!!! The idea behind that was because he was in the mafia in life and he had to be really stealthy at times so now in certain environments he's harder to see... Maybe he can even turn fully invisible for a bit... There's also possible character reasons to consider tying in there as well... Ough very cool idea 10/10

Gave him 4 legs and 4 arms + the big abdomen to really make him scream spider bc yes spider boys can be hot and no Viv was not willing to CAPITALIZE on that 😒 Also lengthened his fangs... Also moved his eyes to his forehead to make them more prominent and hopefullyyyy seem more like eyes. Idk. And now he's got pointy little pedipalps as well!!!

Gave him his boobs back bc he deserves them and just generally gave his body more shape (though the second set of legs definitely helps lol). Slightly de-twinked... But not by much...

Once again looked up some common hairstyles at the time and people loooved their hairspray and curls, or swoops, or waves— they were gettin funky with it. Hard to emulate that on his nonhuman skull so I took some artistic liberties applying ideas from common styles onto him.

Didn't do much research at awl for his clothes... I mean... He's not wearing much to begin with... I kept the long gloves bc I thought they had potential to look cute and I have him rolled cuffs on short sleeves. Wanted to keep the style simple but otherwise I would've drawn button clasps keeping them in place. No notes on the thigh high heels so I kept them. Everything else is just kindaaaa whateverrrr EXCEPT THE NECKLACE. Though it was hella funny and fitting

And that's awl folks.... Do u like him do u fuck with him.... Let me knowwww....... Okay byeeee ✌🏾🧍🏾‍♀️

[thecameronchronicles]

Sunkissed

TW: mentions of self image issues. Angst. Heavy flirting.

SUMMARY: JJ reminds you just how beautiful he knows you are.

REQUESTED:

Anonymous Asked

Hey sooo glad ur back ☺️⭐️💗💛 idk if u take request but I love ur body positivity fics could u maybe write one with JJ and chubby reader ??☺️☺️:)))

Sunkissed

"Maybe you should just go without me..." You try to hide the disappointment in your own words but it weighs them beyond the attempt. Your eyes fall and yet JJ comes up behind you, lips on your shoulder as it worsens the tightness in your heart.

"Did you get too hot on the Pogue, princess?"

"No...I..."

"Do you need some water? Here..." He offers his and your chest tightens. Not once has your boyfriend ever made you question your worth in the curves of your figure. But being surrounded by those that are a stark contrast to that society claims you should be, you feel inadequate.

"What is it sweetheart?" He asks a hand to your waist as you shuffle away without drawing immediate attention. You pretend to need something from the cooler although the diversion only makes you feel worse when you look over your shoulder and see JJ setting his hand over his chest, a telltale sign his own anxiety was getting the best of him.

"Are you...happy?" You move quickly to him.

"You make me the happiest I've been been, JJ-"

"So if you aren't dumping me and you know I'm crazy about you, why are you acting so...distant?" He steps closer, taking your hands in his. The warm comfort, slightly calloused from the odd jobs to make ends meet, it makes you exhale in the remembrance he matters more than the thoughts in your head. It's the laughter of Sarah Cameron and Kiara Carrera that make you compare yourself again.

He slowly nods before taking your hand and leading you into the Chateau.

"JJ-"

"What is it? I wanna hear you say it."

"J-"

"Y/N. Tell me." You stand in his room, the one practically gifted to you and him by John B as you linger.

"I just...don't wanna be around them in my swimsuit."

"Good."

Your eyes water and your brows fall.

"I don't want you in your swimsuit around anyone else either. I don't want them to see how smooth and beautiful your skin is or the shape of your-" he bites his back teeth. "I have to constantly remind myself to be better for you because better is what you deserve, princess, but it takes everything I have to not either mark up your skin with my teeth and leave proof you belong to me or punch out the lights of any guy-or girl- that looks at what's mine."

"JJ..." You shake off the thought as you know his kindness has always been that. Kind. You worry being with you is a novelty. A kink even. And even if he's tender and rebellious, passionate and eager, you're worried it'll fade with either summer or the fade of interest.

"You wanna know something? I am not going to say I don't care about your body because honestly it makes me hard as hell. But what really makes me just..." He sighs, repressing something between desire and the need to prove, as he takes a step closer to you.

"What really makes me love you is that you look at me. Not through me. Not to judge me. You go along with all my jokes and pranks, you were there when everything with my dad-" he paused, you step closer when you see how it effects him.

"You know when to be strong and when to let me do that for you. You touch me and I feel like I can't control my hands...or my eyes- my mouth. I want you. I love you. But if I'm being completely honest, Y/N. What I want right now? Is you out of this swimsuit. You're right. You shouldn't wear it. Because it makes me fucking crazy and I'm already one day closer for being committed for it."

You stand in awe, his words poetic for someone who insists you read him the books he gets too bored to even try and crack open. You hate how he doesn't apply himself for what he's capable of and yet you set to prove it in how you support him everyday.

"JJ-"

"I mean it, sweetheart. I'll beg if I have to. But suit. Off." You swallow hard as he closes the door and you understand one thing as his eyes darken in lust.

Before him you were swallowed by the darkness of your insecurities. Being with JJ is like being beneath the sun. Touched and basking in its rays, you forget the worries outside of it. You are kissed by the sun, loved by it- by him. You feel the strength of his love in every touch and the confirmation of his desire by the hold of his eyes on you in any distance when you aren't in his arms.

There is no question of love. And for the days you cannot feel that for yourself, JJ reminds you every reason why you will.

One sunny kiss at a time.

MASTERLIST

[highgoon69]

Confessions

♥Pairing╰┈➤ Levi Ackerman x Reader

♥Content/Warnings╰┈➤ Really it's just fluff, maybe a little bit of hurt/comfort?? Fuck if I know

♥Word Count╰┈➤ 1.6k

♥Author's Note╰┈➤ First of all, the divider I'm using is from @cafekitsune and they have plenty of other really cute ones! And also this is literally the first thing I've written in like,,,,,,, six years?? I'm not sure and I can't Remember. If it sucks tell me and I'll leave it up because I simply do not care. Thank u one and all who actually read it!

“So,” Hange began, their tone light as they dragged you into their office. “Want to tell me what’s on your mind?”  

You shrunk backwards a bit, lowering your gaze to the (disgusting) floor. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about.” Hange wasn’t dumb, you knew that. They were far from it. So why was blatantly lying your go-to response? It didn’t help that Hange was clearly trying to hold in a laugh at your response.

They placed a hand on your shoulder. It was meant to be comforting but it made you feel nothing but dread. Your name fell from their lips. “I know you. I know when your mind is elsewhere. You fell flat on your ass during training today, so just tell me what’s wrong.” Seeing Hange so strangely serious was remarkably nerve wracking. 

A moment of silence passed between you. You felt like a complete mess; a complete jumble of incomplete thoughts shrouding your head. Would telling the truth even help? Hange was your best friend, so surely they’d give you sound advice… right? You sighed, deep and heavy, before lifting your eyes to theirs. “If I’m being honest…” you took a breath, “I’m not sure what’s wrong.” 

Hange tilted their head to the side. Glasses gleaming under the dull light of their office, they moved a bit closer to you. “You’re not sure? Then what were you being so cagey about?” 

“I wasn’t being cagey.” 

They cackled. How annoying. “You were and you know it,” they said. “Elaborate on whatever you’re not sure about.” 

You sighed again before turning around to face the door. Grime coated the surface. When was the last time Hange cleaned it? “Lately, I’ve been feeling sort of… shy?” It shouldn’t have been a question, but it was nonetheless. The word you truly wanted to use eluded you. Honestly, you almost felt sick. 

“You’ve been feeling shy?” Hange repeated. You nodded once and a snort came from behind you. “Shy about what? How badass you are all the time?” You whirled around and slapped them on the shoulder. They grinned and rubbed at their arm. “What?” 

“You’re so annoying!” you groaned out, dragging a hand down your face. “I’m trying to open up here and you make a joke out of it?” Hange nodded. Another sigh came out before you could stop it.

Hange laughed again and put their hands on their hips. “Seriously, what do you have to be shy about? The only people you’re actively around is me, Erwin and  Le…” they trailed off and suddenly your face felt warm. Their mouth dropped open and they descended upon you, gripping the life out of your shoulders. “Is it finally happening?”

“What?” you asked. “Is what finally happening?” 

“Are you finally realizing you like Levi?!” 

If you thought you felt warm before, now it felt like you were being burned alive. “Hange!” you scolded, voice probably a little too loud. “Absolutely not! You know how he is! And why are you saying ‘finally’?” You could hardly believe them! Why would they even think that, much less say it? 

They pulled you into their chest, roughly patting the back of your head. “Oh, sweetie, how can you still not see it?” Despite practically whispering, it was loud and clear in your ears. Fear rolled down your spine. “You guys always sit together for meals, you’re always in his office helping with paperwork, the two of you actively seek each other out throughout the day, you even learned how to clean to his standards even though you hate cleaning. You still don’t realize your own feelings for him?” 

Every word was like a bucket of freezing cold water hitting you. Was Hange right? No, they couldn’t be. Though… they weren’t necessarily wrong. But so what if you and Levi were friends? You were friends with Hange and Erwin, with the kids from the 104th. Hell, you were practically friends with everyone. So why did Hange seem to make so much damn sense right now? 

Slowly, you put your forehead to their shoulder. Your chest grew tighter and tighter with every passing second until a tear dribbled downwards. “Hange…” you whispered. “What am I supposed to do?” 

They let out a soft sigh before pulling away. Your head stayed down and you watched as tears hit the floorboards. “You tell him.” You shot up, neck cracking at the motion. “Don’t look so shocked. What else is there to do?” 

“I don’t know! Cry, wallow in my own self pity, maybe?” you shrieked, Hange grinned. “Anything but that! He’d call me an idiot then either pretend it never happened or just not speak to me again.” 

“Hah!” Hange’s outburst startled you, making you jump a bit. “Like Levi would ever do that. Though, I really do think you’re an idiot!” They began to cackle again. Why were you friends with someone who found so much joy in your misery?

Before you could begin to say anything, a knock jostled the two of you into silence. A beat passed before Hange asked who was there. The last voice you ever wanted to hear in that moment responded, already sounding pissed off. “Levi,” he said. 

You dropped your face into your hands as Hange bounded to the door. They practically ripped the door off their hinges in their excitement to let Levi into the embarrassing conversation you were having. “Levi!” they exclaimed, hopping from foot to foot. “Fancy seeing you here, what can I help you with?” 

“You told me to stop by when I had the chance. Want me to clean your disgusting fucking room again?” he asked before peering inside. He noticed you, head still in your hands, before his expression softened. He called your name and shoved past Hange, whose smile was so wide it beat a titan’s. “Are you okay? What did this freak do to you?” Levi put his hands on your shoulders and spun you around to face him. You obliged and let your hands fall to your sides. 

“Levi, hi.” You couldn’t think of anything more to say. Seeing him was a shock and while you weren’t surprised to hear that Hange had told him to come, you were still confused nonetheless. 

He glanced across your face then turned back to Hange. “Were they crying?” he asked. You weren’t sure how Hange didn’t cower away from him; you definitely would’ve. His voice was filled with venom. Your friend merely nodded before slinking out of the door. 

Levi watched them go and waited until the door was shut before turning back to you. “Are you okay?” It took you a second to answer before giving him a simple nod. “What happened?” 

You looked away from him. “Hange was just… being Hange.” Levi clearly didn’t believe that was it, because he clicked his tongue in a remarkably disapproving way. “I’m serious.” 

“Yeah? Then what were they being so ‘Hange’ about?” As soon as the words left his lips you felt your head begin to ache. Maybe Hange was right. Maybe telling him wasn’t as difficult as you were making it seem. Maybe, just maybe, he’d reciprocate. Or you’d let it slip and he really wouldn’t ever talk to you again. The longer you stayed silent, though, the more irritated Levi seemed to get. “Well?” 

So you decided to not overthink it. “They were telling me that I obviously have feelings for you,” you said. “I didn’t agree with it at first but the more I thought about it, the more I realized they were right! I mean, I absolutely hate cleaning! But I do it all the time because I know how you are and I’m always on everyone else’s ass to keep things neat and orderly. You deserve to be happy and if something as stupid as shit being to your standards can make you happy then I’ll make sure it’s done. And I love sitting next to you, and I love when you kick my ass when we spar but I love it even more when we’re on our own and you pretend to let me win. And I know I”m, like, rambling at this point but the more I talk the more I realize I’m completely in love with you, Levi.”

Quickly, you clamped your hands over your mouth. You were totally, totally in love with him. And you just said it, like a fucking idiot. Levi stayed silent, eyes wide. The quiet was deafening and you vaguely heard laughter just beyond the door. 

Finally Levi seemed to come out of his stupor. “What did you just say?” he muttered. You cringed. 

“Are you really going to make me say it again?” Levi nodded and you let out a sigh. “Levi, I’m in love with you.” 

Uncharacteristically, he smiled. It was barely there and maybe nobody else would’ve been able to tell, but you could. At that moment, he looked so beautiful and soft. His grip on your shoulders tightened before his smile grew just a bit more. And, before you could stop yourself, you pressed your lips to his. The kiss was soft and tender, and your stomach felt like it was about to fall out. You smiled into it, your teeth hitting his for just a moment. Slowly, your hands reached up to tangle in his hair. You tugged at the short strands before pulling away. Levi put his forehead against yours before letting out a content sigh. 

He pressed a kiss to your head. “I’m in love with you, too.”

[minahoeshi]

you were loved the most of all.

Ushijima Wakatoshi x reader | break-up angst

summary: You should've known that when Ushijima Wakatoshi found it easy to fall in love with you, it might be even easier for him to fall out of it. But who expects the worst when it comes to loving someone as seemingly perfect as him, anyway?

Chapter 1 of 2

Chapter 2 of 2

He said it was easy to fall in love with you. He said he didn’t know when exactly, at which place, nor for what reason. Simply one day, Ushijima Wakatoshi found himself looking at you with the epiphany that maybe there’s something more meant to happen between you and him. There you stood before him that day, the person he could promise love to. (And there he stood before you that moment, the boy whose promises you found yourself believing in no matter what.)

So maybe that’s why it was even easier for him to fall out of love. When he told you he was no longer in love with you, it didn’t matter to you to ask when exactly, at which place, or for what reason. Even the universe itself is meant to fizzle out one day along with the death of the stars. Just one more person drifting away from you like a lone planet with no real orbit shouldn’t leave you broken. You are used to this. You won’t fall apart.

But you break anyway.

It was snowing outside when he decided to tell you to end things now before it hurts both of you even further. Not that the snow has anything to do with the coldness creeping up your chest threatening to spill out of you in endless sobs. You were glad, though. That at the very least, he remained honest with his feelings. He never left you guessing. Every time, he never forgets to tell you what’s on his mind. His honesty is something he thought was necessary.

“I understand, don’t worry. Thank you for telling me right away. I know you’re also considering me–” you tell him and choke up. There are tears running down your face but you’re not worried about that. Wakatoshi never let you mask your emotions around him. For the longest time, he reminded you to feel free to be completely bare with him. All the good and the bad, he said. Don’t be afraid to show them to me. I will always understand.

He steps closer and puts you between his arms. You feel his chin on top of your head as you lean your face into his chest. You’re sobbing now. “I’ll be fine, Toshi. We’ll be fine.”

He kisses the top of your head and lets you stay in his arms for minutes. “I loved you then, and I love you still. It’s just that they’re no longer the same kind. I will stay if you ask me to, okay? Anything you want.”

This only makes you cry harder. He’s always been too good. And even in breaking your heart, he’s too good. You want him to hold on. You want to ask him to stay with you for years and years. Even with a different kind of love, you’ll let him be as long he’s close by. But someone like him who has dreams beyond yourself shouldn’t ever be with someone like you who still lacks certainty toward anything.

“Just for tonight,” you ask, still crying. “Can I stay?”

“of course,” he replies. Anytime you want. Anything you want. It has always been this way.

Because humans are creatures of routines and familiarity, you spend that night the way you usually do when you’re at his place. You cook dinner with him and eat on the dining table, sharing stories and laughter. You keep adding food to his plate and he smiles as you giggle at everything you find funny.

It’s okay, it’s okay. You’ll be okay. You’ll be fine.

You clean the kitchen and stay in the living room. He leans on the couch as you lay down with your head on his lap. You keep talking and laughing. He goes along, sometimes adding things to make you laugh even more, sometimes simply agreeing, sometimes asking questions. You keep it loud and light, afraid of the silence. Inside you, it’s so heavy, your heart might just fall off. This will be the last, you tell yourself. You want to be happy for now. While he’s still here.

"Do me a favor, okay?" You tell him as you're nearing slumber. "Let me leave first tomorrow. Maybe stay in bed, maybe pretend you're asleep. But tomorrow, don't get out of the room until I've left the house." Your voice shakes, feeling yourself wanting to sob.

"I don't want to wake up to another empty bed but I don't want to see your face when I wake up too," you curl into him even further. "I'm sorry for being selfish. I'm sorry I still don't really know what to do. And I know you wake up pretty early and you know, do stuff, but just for tomorrow, please?"

Wakatoshi didn't really understand why. He originally planned on cooking breakfast for you and taking you to the train station. He would watch you board the train and he'd make sure to smile at you as he waves. You always waved back. That's how it works. Even after fights, and even after especially bad nights, you'd still do the same. Watching you leave with a smile was how you both knew you'd still be fine the days after. That nothing much can affect your relationship. For years, this has been the routine.

But tomorrow, he knows he has to give way. He knows what he said hurt you. It would be wrong of him to do what he wants simply because he's used to.

Tomorrow's the last, he realises. And then if you want, he'd never see you again.

--

You wake up pretty early. The sky is a calm shade of blue, the world outside still waking up. You check the time on your phone and find it's 6 AM. Last night, you slept with your back on him. The sight before you is the other end of his bedroom and you notice just how much of yourself you've managed to leave around his place. Pieces of just one other person in his life, scattered in places around his world pretending that’s just where they belong. You didn't mind leaving things behind back then. You never really thought of the day that you might’ve to take back all of them. Just how does one pick up parts of themselves when they thought they’ve finally found a place for them to stay?

But as you stand up, you conclude that when things end, traces shouldn’t be left behind. He didn’t decide to break up only to be reminded of you even after you’re no longer close to him. So you go and pick every little thing that's yours. Even your jacket and sweaters and a few pairs pyjamas in his closet. You'll just take his things from your place too and hand it to Tendou's shop. Coming back here won’t do you any good. Him coming to your place instead wouldn’t either.

Collecting all your things, even the ones you can't use anymore, you leave the bedroom and enter the living room. You don't have many belongings here aside from some DVDs and books. You only take the books and leave the rest for him. You've always preferred reading anyway.

Setting your bag and things aside on the sofa, you go ahead and wash yourself in the bathroom and bring your toothbrush and some other products with you when you're done. You then head to the kitchen to cook him something light to eat for breakfast . You knew you didn't have to. He knows how to cook. It has always been him cooking breakfast for you. When you could, you’d rather stay in bed until the very moment you must start preparing to go to uni or work. But you did anyway. He's probably in his bed, awake. He has never been a heavy sleeper. With all the moving you did around his room, he was bound to wake up if he wasn't already.

You make him a simple omelette and write a small message on top of it with ketchup. "Good luck with practice today!"

You've already cleaned everything you used, preferring to wash and set utensils as soon as you're done with them. That way, when you're sitting down to eat, there won't be any cluster around to distract you.

You put the ketchup down and decide that should be enough. You'll stop here. You should go now.

Ushijima is sitting on his bed. He's been awake since 5 AM when he usually goes on his run. It isn't the first time he chose to stay with you instead of going out, but he can't help but feel heavy this time. He stayed in for you. But as the minutes pass by, it seems that he simply cannot find the courage to sit up and face you.

He wants to sink into his bed.

There's knock on the door followed by sentences uttered softly. "Toshi, I'm going now. There's breakfast on the table. Make sure to eat before you go."

There goes the heavy feeling again. Maybe if this keeps up, he might just actually sink and never get back up.

You've done that a few times. Leaving while he's still in the room. You don't even open the door. You simply knock and tell him you're about to go, always reminding him to eat before he goes too.

But this will be the last, he thinks. If you leave now, will he never see you again?

a/n

chapter 2 will be up soon not rly sure when tho. (it's up now the link is at the top)

also, im not entirely sure but i think i didnt use any pronouns or gendered nouns for this except "girl" in the 1st paragraph which i erased just now? if i'm right, then i hope everyone reading this get to feel as though theyre rly the person in the story. unless ofc u dont want that bc this isnt the happiest ushitoshi x reader fic u can find🥲. but thanks for reading!!!! m so sorry for typos nd other errors as well. i kinda cant read my own writings bc sometimes doing so makes me wanna smack myself in the head and never write again nd i hate that so now im leaving my mistakes to the gods nd hope they love me enough or smth. but yes thank u sm again for reading!!!!

[jaewin97]

Do you hate me?

You have a feeling Taeyong hates you and Taeyong hates himself for feeling the way he does, especially because of Donghyuck.

word count: around 2100

fluff, misunderstandings, mutual pining (?)

A/N: I kind of quickly proofread it, so sorry if there are any mistakes!

Upon hearing the ringing of the doorbell Donghyuck is quick to run out from his room towards the front door, almost falling on his butt as his socks slide across the wooden floor. 

Taeyong, who was having his meal at the kitchen table, almost chokes on his food at the sudden commotion and turns to watch the younger boy with a bewildered expression, ready to yell at him for running in the dorms. But as Donghyuck opens the door, albeit a little out of breath with a wide grin plastered on his face, he simply closes his mouth again and is quick to straighten himself as best he can as he registers who's at the door by Donghyuck's loud greeting. 

"Baby!"

"Hey cub!" he hears you say followed by a sweet giggle. He assumes Donghyuck has you locked in a strong hug as you let out an 'oof'. He internally curses as he turns back to his food and sees that he had splattered some rice on the table as he was choking. Taeyong quickly gets up and grabs a napkin making sure to clean up as he hears you and Donghyuck walking towards the kitchen. 

"Oh! Taeyong hyung, I didn't notice you were here!" Donghyuck exclaims as he finally reaches the kitchen with you in tow. "YN came to visit me today!"

"Hello" you softly say, as you timidly bow towards Taeyong. 

"Oh um, hi" Taeyong replies as he sets his gaze on you. You looked absolutely adorable, dressed in black jeans and what looked to be an oversized hoodie. As he took in your appearance his gaze lowered down and he realized that your hand was interlocked with Donghyuck's hand. Taeyong felt his face heat up as he quickly looked away and grabbed his plates which still had plenty of food in them and placed them in the kitchen sink. 

"I- I have to go change. Sorry. Um, it was nice seeing you" he quickly said as he looked down and made his way towards his room. A loud slam from Taeyong closing his door resonated in the dorms causing you and Hyuck to slightly jump. 

"That was so weird. He was already dressed" Donghyuck commented as he let go of your hand and made his way to the refrigerator. "Do you want anything to drink?" he asked.

You stood in your spot not understanding what had happened. You thought back to plenty of other times where Taeyong had also abruptly left when you had arrived or when it looked like he was uncomfortable to be in your presence. 

Maybe he doesn't like me? Or what if he thinks I'm annoying? Could it be because I'm younger and he finds me immature or loud when I'm with Donghyuck? All these questions flooded your head and you decided it was best to just ask the man in question. You didn't want him to be uncomfortable in his own home and you didn't want to cause any discomfort with him and Hyuck. 

"I think he hates me." 

You heard a pained groan as Hyuck quickly shot up and hit his head on the refrigerator. 

"Ah fuck" he whined as he turned to you with a pout causing you to walk over and stand in front of him. He slightly bent down to your level as you reached a hand out to rub the spot he had hit. 

"Why do you say that?" Hyuck asked. 

"I'll tell you in your room" you sighed as he stood straight and nodded, motioning for you to follow him down the hallway. 

Once you reached his room, Donghyuck proceeded to close his door and play some music from his speaker in case anyone heard you two talking. You proceed to tell him your thoughts as you both laid in his bed staring at the ceiling. 

"I don't think he hates you. I think it's the opposite but I for sure think you should talk to him about it if it bothers you or if you think it bothers him" Hyuck responded once you were done. 

"What do you mean it's the opposite?" you asked as you turned to face him. 

Hyuck sighed and opened his mouth to answer when his room door opened. 

"Oh! I'm so sorry, I thought Johnny was here." 

You both looked towards the door as you saw Taeyong standing there before he quickly made eye contact with you and quickly turned around and left. 

"See!" you whined as you turned to look at Donghyuck with a pout earning a laugh from the boy. 

"Go talk to him" he exclaimed, shoving you off his bed and pulling out his phone.

"B-but" 

"No 'buts' yn. Do it or else I'll call him in here and all three of us can talk about it" he glared as you begrudgingly walked to his door. 

"You're so evil," you said, sticking your tongue out at him, causing him to smirk and wink at you. 

You exited his room and made your way towards Taeyong's, mentally planning out what you were going to say to him. Before you chickened yourself out, you knocked on his door as soon as you reached it. 

A soft "come in" was heard as you shakily turned the handle and walked in. 

Taeyong stood in the corner of his room watering his plants with his back to you. After hearing you softly clear your throat his head snapped towards you. 

"O-oh yn. U-um what's wrong?" he stammered as he put the water bottle he was using to water his plant down on his desk and wiped his hands on his jeans.

"I um... I wanted to talk to you about something" you gulped.

"Of course! Have a seat" he pointed to his desk chair near him. You timidly nodded and made your way over. You felt like you could taste the awkwardness that was in the air and it caused your hands to begin to get clammy. 

Taeyong muttered a quick 'give me one second' before he walked out of his room and came back in a few seconds later with a dining table chair.  He set it slightly next to the desk chair which you were sitting on and he took a seat. 

"So what's wrong?" he shyly asked, making quick eye contact with you before looking down at his hands.

"Do you hate me?" 

His head quickly snapped up as he stared at you in shock.

"What? No! Why would you ask that?" 

"I just- I'm sorry. It's just whenever I'm near you, you either leave or look really uncomfortable. I just wanted to apologize for making you feel this way and I wanted to ask you so I can figure out what it is I can do to make you feel comfortable" you responded feeling your cheeks heat up as his gaze held yours. His eyes scanned yours over and over as he furrowed his brows and locked his jaw. 

"I'm the one who should be apologizing. You did nothing wrong, you could never do anything wrong. I'm just an idiot. I've just been trying to sort some stuff out when it comes to you- I mean it's nothing like you causing me trouble or anything it's the opposite! I mean- wait! I don't want to hurt you or Donghyuck. I could never do that to him" he rambled.

Your brain was trying to process what just happened. Did he confess? Or are you reading into it? Hurt me or Donghyuck? What? 

"I'm- wait. I'm so confused. So is it just that you don't like me? You're trying to figure out how to be around someone you don't like? If it's something I said or did I'm sor-" 

"No!" he quickly cut you off. "I don't know how to express myself with you. I'm sorry. This is so frustrating. I know what I feel. I know what I want to say, what I want to do. It's just- whenever I'm near you my brain malfunctions and I act like a complete idiot." he confesses looking down at his hands again, noticing they were slightly shaking. 

"Taeyong I don't understand" you whispered. 

Taeyong took in a deep breath and nodded. 

"I like you. I like you a lot and I know you and Donghyuck have something going on and I don't want to ruin it. He's my little brother and I would never do anything to purposely hurt him. I hate myself knowing I could potentially hurt him because I can't control my feelings." He didn't dare move an inch as he finally let out what he had been holding in. He squeezed his eyes shut as he realized you hadn't said anything for almost a minute after he had finished speaking.

"Nothing is going on with me and Donghyuck. " 

Hearing this he finally looked up at you. You were staring at him with watery eyes and rosy pink cheeks, he swore his heart almost leaped out of his chest.

"But you guys always call each other baby or couple nicknames and you're always together and-" 

"He's like my little brother" you cut him off, gaining the courage to reach a shaky hand and grab one of Taeyong's. "I'm a year older than him and since all of you are males and his siblings are young he needs an older sister's advice sometimes when it comes to struggles he may be facing or just asking how to approach girls." 

Taeyong's mouth opened and closed as he processed what you just told him, the feeling of your hand in his wasn't helping him either. 

"so... oh." he let out as he felt his face heat up. 

"I like you too." 

Hearing those four worlds caused Taeyong's world to stop. His heart was beating so fast and he felt like his face was literally on fire. He bravely looked up and met your gaze which conveyed sincerity and determination. Your own cheeks were a darker shade of red and your chest rose and fell at the same rate his did. 

"Really?" he managed to ask in a slight tremble.

"Yes. I have since day one" you responded sincerely. 

"Wow. I- I don't know what to say" he let out a shy giggle "I never thought you would feel the same way. I mean, I thought about the 1% chance that you maybe could see me in a different way other than your friend or Donghyuckie's leader but then I always shook it out of my thoughts. So I really have no clue what to do. My mind and heart are both racing if I'm honest. I think I'm in shock."

You let out a giggle as Taeyong's eyes widened and he placed his left hand on top of his heart. He looked up at you and let out a big smile.

"You're so cute," he said.

"I should be telling you that" you said shaking your head as you felt yourself become even more shy if that was possible.

"You have no idea how crazy you drive me." he whispered as he timidly grabbed your hands in his and slightly leaned forward.

You felt your mouth dry up as you felt him rub small circles on the back of your hand.

"I want to take you out. Can I?" he asked looking up at you with a small smile.

You could only nod as you both leaned closer to one another. Your eyes flickered from his eyes to his cute pouty lips as you swallowed.

"Can I kiss you?" you whispered as his eyes bulged out and he shyly nodded.

You could feel his shaky breath as he licked his lips and placed a hand on your cheek. You slowly brought one of your hands and placed it on the side of his neck, gently running your fingers along it.

You closed your eyes and then you felt it. His soft lips gently molded with yours. Your heart skipped not one but two beats as you realized that you were finally kissing him. Taeyong was in cloud nine. He couldn't believe he was finally kissing you! He wished for this for what felt like forever and now here he was, he couldn't help but smile into the kiss as he finally realized that his wish came true. He could finally call you his, kiss you whenever he wanted and be able to give you all his love unconditionally. This was to be the start of something the both of you would look back on and recount to your future grandchildren. The story of how you both got together and fell in love. 

[amenomiko]

Thank you for the request @lareina2501 ❤❤❤❤❤ It's an honor to be your fav writer (∩´﹏`∩) 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕 I will do my best more and more ∩( ✧Д✧)∩✨✨✨✨✨✨✨!! As for this request I've changed the storyline to match with the angst and happy ending, if you don't mind >3< ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤! Hope you like it!

Come Clean

Pairing: IkeSen Mitsuhide x MC

Type: One Shot

Rated: Angst + Happy End

🦊💙🦊💙🦊💙🦊💙🦊💙🦊💙🦊💙🦊

"This game ends here."

If travelling into an unknown place, an era with endless war, a timeline she have to wipe her tears but to survive...

The words that he uttered to her on that day hurts the most.

Everything was a gameplay to him. With that teasing smile, gradually changed into a hateful look, he pointed the gun that he always use to end someone's life to her. "I was just using you all the time. Who would've known you even give all of yourself to me-- to think that you shed enormous drop of tears just from Yoshiaki's words.. Aren't you the fragile one?"

Liar.

"Was it sated enough for you?"

Liar.

"Did I satisfy you?"

Liar.

"You are beaming with happiness just from a kiss? Such lonely girl you are."

"Mmmf--"

Waves and waves of swirling stirred inside of her, causing her to stumble to the side, of where she nearly bumped upon the edge of the wall if it isn't because of the support on the table nearby.

Mitsuhide..

She gasped, tears pricking within her orbs,

Mitsuhide..

Vomiting out everything that she could throw,

Mitsuhide..

Her coughs slowly emerges into a sob, and it grew stronger when she rub her belly.

Why did you lie..?

.......

It was a spur of the moment. It could be. It might be.

From a slow, loving kiss on her brow, her lips found his, where they exchanged their body heat with one another. Kisses, groans, soft moaning, endless marks all over her body, genuine confession towards each other-- it is such a blissful moment and memories for her.

To think that he choose to lie for the sake of her safety--

To think that he would use his weapon to threaten her..

So that she could stand in the light, and him, always in the abyss of darkness and evilness. And furthermore,..

To think that just from that one night, she had bear his child...

Oh she had tried to be with him. But he pushed her away. Many times. He even use another woman to make her believe that he was just using her all along--

...He even announced his marriage to the same woman to get rid of her completely--

And then..

She gasped again, now clenching on her stomach-- "K-Kana--..!"

Her maid bursted into the room, "Princess..? Princess!!"

-----

And then..

The wedding celebration were held joyfully, he even announced to the public of his happiness. He even laughed, smiled, nuzzled on his bride's nose, just to show how much he love her. Right in front of her, in front of her eyes, that clearly were decorated with nothing but a swell.

"I am happy for you, Mitsuhide."

Oh how it killed her.

It's as if she has taken a knife and stab her own chest.

"Well, to be honest.. I am having his child..! He is kind enough to marry me for the sake of our child..!" His bride whispered to her, from a gleeful voice that suddenly changed into a menacing ones,... "Now it's clear to you, isn't it? You are NO princess, so you should learn where do you stand, don't you think so?" Then it was again replaced with a smile the moment her husband called for her.

Ah.. So this is how they played it.

If it is like that, it's fine.

If it's for the sake of her child, then she will do it too.

Yes, she should learn her place. So she will leave everything. From a place where she didn't belong, a place where people wouldn't know, a place where people will forget.

With the help of Sasuke,...

That very same night she had faked her death. She had brought her most trusted maid with her, leaving no trace behind. Changing her appearance together with her maid, she made it as if she had never existed.

She made a promise with Sasuke as well. To keep it a secret, to never see her and to never associate with her. It was beyond his agreement, as she is his friend, but he have no choice.

------

"Princess.. You overexert your body again. It's not good for the child, as it will be born soon."

Smiling weakly, she caresses her growing belly. "I'm sorry.. I can't help but to remember that night. Especially when it was snowing like this."

Kana and MC wheeled their head to the garden, watching how it become white all over from the falling snow. "I don't know, Kana. It was not even snowing when he said those words, but maybe, just maybe, that night has become cold when he choose to lie."

"...Princess..."

"My apologies. I'm being very melancholy am I?"

Kana shakes her head. "Please don't say that, Princess. Here, have some water before you rest, alright?"

She nodded, leaning against the reclining chair before turning to see the white garden once more.

..To think that snow could make you feel this lonely. But she is not alone, she will be with her child. Even if her existence has faded to other people.

--------

There is no other day that he feels empty.

Staring into nothing in an ample silence, the feeling of the metal in his hand has been forgotten.

Such metal; the hairclip he had given her, is still smeared with blood, the blood of hers on the night she had gone from his life forever.

Lying is never enough for Mitsuhide. But it was more than enough for her. He lied for her own good. He hurt her for her happiness. He cast her aside for her safety. He trampled her feelings and love for him, for her best.

Even though everything had went well-- ending Yoshiaki's life, and gained another peace for his Lord, he is not satisfied. Faking a marriage, faking a love just to make her believe he didn't need her anymore-- it is the biggest sacrifice and self torture for him. More than the torture that he get in the cell when he was accused as the traitor back then..!

Her death is the ultimate torture of his life..!

Why did this happen? How could this happen?

What have he done to her??

"...Kh--"

And again,

There's no other day that he feel empty. There's no other days he will shed his tears while holding the hairclip close to his heart. He have seen it. He have seen her jumped off the cliff, right in front of his eyes. He had been searching, high and low, every places, to no avail. He had refused to believe, he nearly went crazy just from this..!

Is this..

A punishment for him? Yes. Indeed it is. For trampling her genuine and sincere love for someone like him..

"My lord."

He didn't answer his vassal. It was until Kyubei hand him a letter that makes his heart thump so loud in his chest.

-----

"Princess..! Princess..!! Please..! Please stay awake..! Your child needs you..! Please..!!"

"Give it your best, My lady..! Push with all your might..!!"

She couldn't feel her grip around the cloth in her palms anymore. She had tried all she could, but she sees nothing but whiteness. Her eyes narrowed-- she is in verge of fainting once more. "No..! You can't faint!! My lady!!"

'Ahh.. Mitsuhide.. Where are you.. Will you be here..? Will you come to my rescue just like you use to do..?'

Her hold around the cloth loosened, and the voices next to her couldn't be heard anymore, when..

"MC!!!"

The door burst open, revealing a pale looking Mitsuhide. Pale and thin, weaker than ever.

She must have been dreaming. For Mitsuhide to come and to found her like this, just like how she secretly wished. "MC..! Please..! Don't leave me..! Don't leave us..!" He squeezed her hand tight, patting her face lightly for her to stay awake. "I am here..! I will be here..! So please..!"

His facade broke. Tears after tears streaming on his face, wetting the surface of her cheek. "I love you.. Please. I'm begging you.." He grit his teeth to fight the upcoming tears, kissing her brow and temple over and over.

"Mmf--"

Her grip has tightened once again, eyes shut to give her all, especially for her unborn child.

Hours has passed, and by nightime..

A beautiful, melodic sound had filled the house.

-----

"....."

Mitsuhide has been staring at his daughter for quite some time. She is now nestled in his arms, sleeping peacefully as her father rub her cheeks gently.

He had stayed awake the whole time, even until MC had woke up. Both of them didn't say anything, only exchanging a silent look to one another.

Then after a while..

He rose and settled next to her.

There's no words were uttered, but he pulls her close with his other arm, burying his head in the crook of her neck where a silent cry could be heard, and an endless strings of apologies were said.

Throughout the time when she lived in seclusion, her maid has been exchanging letters with his vassal secretly. Both of them updated each other's situation, and when it is the perfect time for their masters to meet again, that is where the letter were given to Mitsuhide.

He had brought her back, to everyone's surprise. Things had been cleared between them; a happy ending for both of them. No lies, no facades, just the truth.

And....

*Extra*

"THIS, is WHY, I've TOLD you, to NOT do EVERYTHING, ON YOUR OWN! JUST LOOK WHAT HAD HAPPENED?? JUST LOOK!! THE MOTHER OF YOUR CHILD HAVE TO GO THROUGH ALL OF THAT HELL THANKS TO YOU!! AND JUST LOOK AT YOU?? YOU ARE LIKE THOSE BEGGAR ON THE STREETS!!"

"My, my, how rude ( ͡^ ͜ʖ ͡^)."

"OH HELL YES, I AM. SEE? SHE EVEN HAVE TO FAKE HER WHEREABOUTS BECAUSE SHE'S HURT!! AND--"

"....Mmmnnnn..."

"Oooh, oooh, my baby angel, Uncle Hideyoshi ish here (❁´◡`❁)🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸~~~ WHERE ARE YOU GOING MITSUHIDE I'M NOT DONE YET (　☉д⊙)!!"

"MC needs help, so I will leave my daughter with you for a while ( ͡^ ͜ʖ ͡^)."

"Oh okay-- wait- WAIT! YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SEE HER. YOU ARE GROUNDED MITSUHIDE! G R O U N D E D!!!"

"Mmmnnn.. Eeehhheeee QAQ!!!!"

"Aaaaahhh my baby angel QAQ I'm sorry!!!"

"Oh my ( ͡^ ͜ʖ ͡^)."

"Just give her konpeito, she will stop crying for sure (˵ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°˵)." - Nobunaga

"MY LORD NO (　☉д⊙)!!"

[alto-angel]

in this post, i would like to present my thesis on why the song metaphor by the crane wives belongs to goro akechi.

"i've gotten good at leaning on metaphors": goro's speech as the detective prince is very flowery, exaggerated, and calculated, in order to please the crowds of people with their eyes trained on him at all times. public appearances, television shows, and interviews are all very important for his image, and as such he's forced to adapt his speech and choose his wording carefully to appease those watching. robbie daymond especially does a very good job of vocally pushing the line of politeness into a tone that sounds just a bit too sugary to be genuine, but not something u would notice unless u were listening closely.

"i've gotten good at living on someone else's page": much like the first line, this one can also refer to goro's public image. because he's put an immense amount of work into his life as the detective prince, he aims to please. or at least, he needs to act as though he does. in order to keep up appearances, he needs to be able to get a read of those around him and keep himself on the same wavelength as them. this also applies to shido—not only does goro need to please his fans, but shido as well, in order to stay one step ahead of him. goro is purposefully putting himself on eggshells every day of his life, and in order to keep that up as well as keep himself safe, this is what he has to practice.

"i cut my teeth on secondhand sentiments": goro is often forced to follow a script, or at least an embellished, public-friendly version of his own thoughts. the things that he says when acting as the detective prince are rarely ever his own thoughts as they would be presented in normal conversation. goro has to hide his true opinion of the phantom thieves behind crowd pleasing buzzwords, keep up appearances by catering his opinions, and even quotes philosophers and other literature ("to paraphrase hegel"). the things that he says as detective prince goro akechi are rarely ever entirely his own, and he's gotten very good at tailoring his speech.

"you can't trust a single thing i say": this one, i think, is fairly self-explanatory. the "you" doesn't just apply to the phantom thieves, but to those goro works with as well. what is it he says to sae; "to trick your enemies, you must first trick your allies"? he uses deception to get what he wants, but his primary motivation for it is to move his plan forward, and to protect himself. obviously, if he were honest with shido, he would've been killed on the spot. goro's proficiency with lies isn't just a tool he uses, but a defense mechanism as well. bc of his fear of and difficulty grasping the concept of opening up to someone, through that skill, he is able to keep himself closed off and in control (that is, until he meets akira).

"i keep my closet free of skeletons": this one strikes me as irony, personally. goro's closet is so full of skeletons that it's practically bursting at the seams. but as the detective prince, something like that just isn't allowed. he needs to play the part, otherwise he pays the price. as himself, as goro akechi, he's got so many skeletons in his closet that he probably can't open the door anymore. but as the detective prince, he has to uphold an air of perfection that seems unattainable to others. goro as the detective prince is the epitome of the culture behind the idolization of celebrities, and the way others place and expect them on pedestals of something near godhood, far above the rest of the world.

"cause i'm much better at digging graves": well, goro akechi is certainly no stranger to the art of killing someone without a trace. we have no idea how many shutdowns or breakdowns he induced over the course of his professional relationship with shido. but i also think this lyric in tandem with the one right before it could relate to goro's tendencies towards repression; the idea that he cannot and should not have any "demons" or "skeletons"—such as past traumas, meaningful relationships, or feelings that he's jammed down and shut the closet doors on, if u will—bc since vengeance is his only objective, then digging graves is his primary task, or the only thing he's good for, in his mind. the word skeletons doesn't have to represent mistakes specifically, but could also refer to how goro views his own heart and how he deals with his emotions. something like, he feels he shouldn't deal with all that turbulence, bc he's far better at warping it into anger—something that he's used to dealing with, and can easily rationalize. the more complicated emotions, not so much.

"but i always dig up bones in your sympathy": this is where i start connecting things to goro and akira specifically. another definition of sympathy entails two people who share an understanding of each other. doesn't that sound like goro and akira to u? so, if u take these lyrics to be from goro to akira, it feels to me like this one could represent his regrets/desire to leave his situation. according to rank seven of his confidant in royal, we know that goro is practically screaming for help before the events of sae's palace. unfortunately, as the player, we are not able to save him. but i think this lyric could represent his desire to connect with akira despite his better judgement—"dig up bones," as in; i'll still arrive at the decision to bury them in the first place, but bc we have an understanding, i'll show u as well as i can that i do not want to be doing this. and that's exactly how rank seven with goro plays out, through the metaphor of a billiards game.

"i can't trust a single thing you say": this could refer to the fact that both goro and akira are withholding truths from each other throughout their relationship, and since they are of equal standing, the same deception that applies to goro would apply to akira as well, albiet in a far different way. however, i can also see it as an unwillingness on goro's part; he feels as though he cannot trust akira not bc akira is truly lying to him, but bc there's no other way for him to rationalize the fact that akira cares for him and wants to spend time with him. as goro akechi, not the detective prince. goro can't trust the kindness akira extends to him not only bc he's used to conditional love (shido, foster parents, etc.), but also bc he doesn't feel as though he deserves it. goro does not have a very high image of himself, as we see later on, and it's easy to see throughout his confidant that he cannot quite understand why someone would want to spend time with him, and not the perfectly crafted version of him that he presents to everyone else.

"don't look too hard, cause you won't like the scars he left in me": the "he" here refers to shido. shido is the sole reason for all of goro's trauma and hardships. he has scarred goro more than anyone else in his life. and goro's sharing of these traumas is very limited: he opens up seemingly out of nowhere, before immediately retreating under the guise of things like "oh, that isn't like me," or "oh, am i bothering u?" such as the scenes that take place in leblanc and the bathhouse. goro cannot fathom the fact that someone (akira) would wish to get to know him, as he is, so he assumes that a normal interaction between friends is somehow too much transparency, and keeps himself at a distance. he mistakes his feelings for akira as hatred, right? obviously, that's entirely the wrong word to describe them. but if goro himself believes that he hates akira, he would likely believe akira to hate him as well; as evidenced by the fact that the dialogue options which give u the most points are the ones where u mention ur "rivalry"—bc again, goro cannot rationalize his emotions as anything other than negative; anger, hatred, etc. it's far easier for goro to blurt out the words "i hate u" rather than "i love u," or "i care for u," isn't it? and this is how he keeps himself at enough of a distance, although simultaneously feels himself drawing closer. emotional closeness is not something goro is well versed in, and bc goro has built his image on being talented and skilled, he refuses to reveal his shortcomings.

"i've gotten good at making up metaphors": the words here are only slightly different than the ones at the beginning, which i think works for goro's further descent into his deal with shido, and subsequent difficulty. instead of "leaning" on metaphors, he's completely making them up. it's more drastic, which could represent a sort of desperation. almost as if he's losing his touch—which we do see after the events of sae's palace, during the tv interview where he monologues internally about his backstory, and we start to really see how damaged he is. goro is frazzled and distraught, enough for it to visibly show, something he prided himself on being able to avoid.

"i've gotten good at stretching the truth out of shape": again, the same situation as before. similar to the beginning, with slightly harsher wording. the lies that goro is immersing himself in are getting more intense, and almost impossible to separate from. his "murder" of akira is a turning point, in a way; akira is the first and only character we see goro kill in what he believes to be outside of the metaverse. he's not only stretching the truth out of shape, but he himself is bent out of shape as well—this stuck out to me on my ng+ run; his sprites in the scene just after akira is reported to be dead from him to shido are very unsettling and absent, as if he's almost completely zoning out. it's a very jarring scene to watch, and i think at least part of that has to be due to the severity of his actions.

"and all these words are sweet and meaningless": this feels to me, if we're going by the timeline i've been suggesting throughout all this, like it's directed at shido. now that akira is dead and the phantom thieves are no longer a threat to goro's plan for revenge, he can focus his energy back on his original objective. goro lays it on incredibly thick in his scenes with shido, so much so that it sometime surprises me that he didn't realize shido was onto him. again with the more intense wording here, which fits with the events i'm corresponding it with.

"you can't trust a single thing i say": now this wording is exactly the same as the first time, but given the progression of everything i've talked about, i take this as a sort of last word to both shido and akira. goro intends to follow through with his vengeance no matter the cost, and this could read as a final nail in that coffin. the song repeats this lyric four times, as well. if i wanted to keep it up all the way up to the engine room scene, and go completely off the rails in the process, i could say that the first iteration of this line is an affirmation to both shido and akira that his revenge takes precedence, therefore it would be stupid to trust him. the second is an affirmation to himself that he is in fact doing the right thing, and everything will pay off in the end, that this is just the way things are supposed to be, as always. the third is a kind of plea, born from confusion, after he's defeated by the theives and they offer to bring him with them to take down shido, an offer he cannot fathom the reason for extending. a sort of "why would u trust me" in the form of "u shouldn't trust me." and the fourth would refer directly to goro speaking to his cognitive self; as he decieves the deciever, making it seem as though he is running back to shido only to close the bulkhead door and resign himself to his "noble" sacrifice.

i hope at least some of this makes any semblance of sense. put this song on ur goro playlists, goroboys.

[pokefanbri]

When you feel the world has turned its back on you, or you turn your back on the world.

I promise will never, I will never make you feel like you're alone, that you cant come to me at your weakest because I would do what I can to help you be strong & help you up when you're down. That I'll take care of you, You're pain is my pain & I will help you the best of my ability to see it through with you. You will never have to worry of my locality or trust fading, because if I love you, you won't ever have to question how much & I will do everything in my power to do right by you. But my forgiveness shouldn't be abused or taken for granted to where my respect & love fades, just makes it harder when trust is being built & the taken away...its really not hard to show worthiness just dont be shitty to people.

Just know if you need me,I'll be there, I truly mean it, just don't walk all over me & lie to me makes things so much worse then it has to be, do right from the start. My heart is pure, but it's been hurt so much because it cares so much about the people that have broken & taken advantage of it, and even when destroyed, let down, & weakened its still loves with a passion..not completely broken but puts on another bandaid & keeps going.

Men are more complex than it seems. But I know they love & care of those that love them the most. I just don't know how he'd feel if he lost me too, if it would hurt just as much. If he loves & cares about me like he says, why hurt me at all, its unfair 😔 If im to really love somebody fully, they just have to be the sword to my shield, & fight along side me, by a good rock to get through things with. Hopefully reach a true purpose & something bigger than ourselves. Care for eachother & have our backs, because who else is gonna look after us when nobody else can. We have to look out for eachother. I'd much rather not lose hope, & not lose a dear friend over foolish things or whatever lost in translation when we're so much better than that, it's not worth the pain that comes with it, & beats having to lose somebody that means so much. With equal understanding & validation of our feelings I know we can overcome things if we believe we can, doubting ourselves & being so full of guilt & regret gets nowhere, & we punish ourselves cuz we don't know what we're doing or how to handle it. It's just how do we come to terms with everything that happened, find peace..to forgive ourselves so we can forgive eachother for the mistakes we've made & how alone we felt when together & worse now that we're apart..all of if that got us to where we are now...its a whole mess. Whats the point in breaking somebodys heart that had nothing but good intentions for you. Its hard enouph to find someone who genuinely cares about you. We're both pretty strong willed, strong when things are tough & only even stronger together.

I hate to admit it, but he did drastically shaped me into who I am now & where I currently am life. Which makes me feel my life was formed to this point, directed & led to him for a reason, he helped shape me, make me better, something did..because I'd do anything for him & be there for him if he needed me even if I was hurt which is so fucked & im worth so much more but he still for whatever reason is worth it to me..& cause we had a messed up beginning to something that could've been greater there's alot left unfinished. I feel so damn empty & lost without him, I feel stuck & trapped with nowhere else to go & I'm just waiting to be saved. I just want to see his face again, hug him tight, be his best friend again & show him as much light as I can. Really look into his eyes & show him how much he means to me. Because he's the best person I've ever met & he has no idea what my heart goes through for him. I miss him so much & it hurts that he's not here. He became a purpose & priority the moment I laid eyes on him & its so hard to let him go, I feel like I can't when theres supposed to be more than what I was I given & chances that have been blown without understanding why or how to fix it 😭. I can't go on with my soul somewhere else. Honestly my heart hasn't felt anything like this for anyone before, which makes the pain of the loss even more dreadful to bear. I don't want to lose him, he was the world to me, we were good to eachother the best we could but fell short, it happens..I know it in my heart we could do even better if we just try. But I also know it'll take time, even space to get a grasp on things & I just have to be patient.

When I love with a full & unimaginably heavy heart it doesn't care about getting hurt, it's the risk it takes to try & find somewhere it belongs. It has to hurt so that it knows the depth of how it can really love. And for intended purposes, I feel it's reached its cap when it comes to him. But is weaker & lost without him. Sorry to say but it's the God honest truth.

I have to let this out & say this now at my emotions peek while I can, cuz im a tired wreck rn that's literally crying out in anguish for him to hear her. There's no way to contact & I need him so much right now. I know he's around.. so where ever you are babe I hope you're hearing me somehow. I'm so sorry, I don't mean to be a nonstop wreckless talking idiot but I need to be heard just as much u know. Im probably too blunt & brutally honest sometimes for my own good too, but take with a grain of salt I don't mean to trouble you or cause you anxiety too or anything I miss things if I don't pay attention to every text give.. me a break? I have regrets & worry when anything I could say could mess things up when I mean well. Please don't be scared or hide,take all the time you need but plz dont leave me hanging again, the chance wasn't ruined it's okay. Hurts so much but I don't hold it against you just talk to me, where do we go from here, the things we've said we meant them..they can't just be taken back we've been through this before with unfulfilled promises...how do u say good heartwarming things without real meaning to it, just gets lost & forgotten, brushed aside like they meant nothing. Mean whats said & give me more credit where it's due, meet me in the middle,communicate, i can't do 1 sided decisions in general or relationship wise I need to be heard too.. understand me too & help me understand you more. Im just trying the best I can. We're grown as people we should be able & mature enough to not do the same dumb things over again when it should've been better. Idk pave a good path not destroy it right? Is this a minor setback or can we actually make a major comeback? Please forgive me,you know you can trust me. Just tell me it's gonna be okay, we'll be okay, reassure but be able to back it up. You must know how scared I am to lose you I just can't babe you're 1 in a million to me. Please don't give up before we even start. I still care about you nomatter what. Realistically, u know as well as I how shitty of a situation this is, we're besides ourselves, & can be a pain in eachothers butts...but we can make it through I just know it. I promise I will be there for you. Always

I hope you miss me too. I love you

I hope you're okay & well, & are eating well.

Take care of yourself, Hopefully talk soon if you're up for it

[bisexualmaedhros]

under a cut again u know how it is

so i'm gonna be completely honest this is all going off the version of alice i've collected in my head, and idk how canon-compliant it is. it's been a while since i read some stuff so i might be misremembering things lol. alsooooo i'm diagnosed adhd (& other shit) and have been researching autism for quite a while now and have my suspicions but i'm full of self doubt and the medical system sucks so idk if i'm autistic or not. just in case that stuff matters 2 people. lmk if i say something out of line or anythinggggg

ok so from what i can tell, while she's not as much of a shut-in as julius tends to be, i feel like alice has some of the same tendencies towards like... enjoying routine work? i also feel like she can be kind of blunt at times, and she also seems to really want/need to understand How Things Work And Why instead of just leaving it at "yeah whatever i'm dreaming". i mean, obviously the rules of the game limit her ability to actually learn what she wants to, but it doesn't stop her from trying. she sort of feels to me like someone who's nd and learned to mask well? she can go out and do Normal™ stuff like running errands, working a job, visiting friends etc but she always seems to have this... sense of "i'm not doing it right like i should be". not like lorina would. lorina is her model for How To Be - she sees lorina as having something she doesn't and can't, that makes her more desirable to others. i don't remember alice ever pinning down what it is specifically that she thinks makes lorina better than her, other than things like "she's so elegant and ladylike" or something like that? she... admires lorina for being able to do things The Right Way. and from alice's description of her life before wonderland, i don't get the sense she was all that social. polite, i'm sure, and responsible, but she mostly mentions lorina when thinking of people she misses. no close friends? gives me the impression she masked too well and ended up feeling distant from everyone, like even if she had casual friends at school or work or whatever, she probably felt like they didn't actually know her. i mentioned it briefly to you before i think, but her remarking that the dress we see her in is so frilly and fancy, not her style - but it's what we see her wearing most of the time. in fact, she specifically says that this style suits lorina much better, that her sister was able to pull off this kind of thing so naturally. alice was kidnapped on a sunday afternoon, right? when she would spend time with lorina after church. she was in her church clothes, an outfit she was made to wear to fit a societal expectation that she feels comes naturally to her sister.

even though she claims to hate the dress, she doesn't seem to be in a hurry to get rid of it once she gets to wonderland. there are a few times where she gets an outfit change though, at the insistence of some roleholder or another. usually when she's gotten very close to them and is starting to fully enjoy herself more in wonderland. she's starting to participate more, and starting to hold herself back less when it comes to bonding with people. to me that could represent her slowly coming out of the mask in wonderland, where everyone is strange and so is she, but here they love her for it.

(also i think the idea of her and julius being nd in a way where they just Get each other and can hang out easily is really nice, romantic or not! i hc that alice can be not the best at taking care of herself if she gets sucked into a task, but when paired with julius she ends up remembering to eat and stuff bc she's reminding him to do it lol. and if julius is having a hard time talking or something, i feel like she'd understand and just quietly sit with him or whatever he needs. not to mention them sticking to each other when ace drags them out of the tower to that ball at heart's castle)

and beyond vague "some kind of nd" i can also see her having like. depression and anxiety. girlie you are so quick to assume that nobody gives a shit about you. i saw so much of myself in her before i got help for my own depression and anxiety, in the way she thinks and assumes it's normal. beloved you are not healthy

alice!

ouhgh ok let's see 5 things i think are essential to depicting her...

1. her desire to make friends with as many of the people she meets as possible. while she is generally somewhat withdrawn because of her insecurity & tendency to go for what she thinks is "practical" instead of enjoying herself, i think it's important to remember that (at least in the manga i've read), even after dealing with blood's bs, she still wanted to be friends. like, eventually he made that so hard she tried to just aim for "civil", but that was his fault lmao. that being said i think it's important to have that alongside:

2. her willingness to chew people out when they're being unfair or unreasonable! i know plenty of people have brought it up here before but it's big to me, and something that makes her really appeal to me as a character. idk if i would've been able to stand it if she just sat back and took everything, it would've made me too mad haha

3. ok i know this isn't canon or anything but she's neurodivergent you can pry that from my cold dead hands

4. bi ❤️

5. hmmm i wanted to say something about the surrealism of her being an unreliable narrator regarding her own past and the "real world", but it's hard to put into words. so instead i'll just say i think her insecurities about not being as good as lorina as well as her love and admiration for her are really important too. it's a really complicated relationship and one that i think can be really fun to explore. also kind of tying in both this and #3 i get the sense alice is the kind of kid who excelled in school when she was younger but as she got older felt more and more like she wasn't doing good enough. i like to think of her not having been great at making friends in her old life, but now taking advantage of wonderland bring a dream, she's able to do more and actually bond with people. aaa

[aslaton8-blog]

What does "Home" mean?

What does "home" mean when you don't have a family? I mean I have a family, a very large one fact. None of us get along though. My family is wrought with mental illness. Mostly things such as narcissistic personality disorder, hypochondria, sociopathy, borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder, and above all just flat selfishness. I really can't handle them. They make my issues so much worse. Actually they are the cause of my issues.

My society has been the least of my problems. I made the best decision when I decided to get away from my family and never talk to them again. I was sick of being gaslighted and ghosted being treated as if I wasn't doing anything when I was the only one doing anything meanwhile homeless and struggling by myself. Fuck those people they aren't a family.

So I struggle to understand what family means. I've been invited to be a part of a witch coven. It's actually really cool. I don't hate the idea. I'm just so disconnected from the idea of having a family. I can't even make a friend family of my own. I'm married to my friend family. To the twins Ryan and Daniel Krone. I love them with all of my heart. I don't love anybody else this way outside of the celebrities that have been with me since my childhood. Those are distant feelings though and I'm just a stranger to them anyway.

I feel like I got tossed into this witch coven immediately. I didn't really get a say so in whether I wanted to be a part of it or not. I didn't really have a full understanding of witch covens before they tossed me in there. We had one meeting already and it just felt like a meeting of complete strangers. Is this what it feels like to be a celebrity? Being in a room full of strangers and still feeling completely disconnected from people and community? I'm so glad I never tried that path. I don't like much attention anyway. I mean I like attention to an extent just like everyone else would want to feel a part of life. But I don't need all that. That was too much.

I don't think I'll feel at home with these people unless they stay in my life. I still don't feel at home with these people and I've been hanging out with them for a couple of years. it just feels like another adventure that's going to disappear in time. I like these people don't get me wrong, it's just not a hundred percent there for me. First of all the entire coven is completely white minus maybe one lady who is close enough to being white that she could pass as white. All that does is remind me of our societal problems and all I want to do is keep fighting them. Second of all I'm not religious and I believe in every religion not just one. It's hard for me to feel honest with being in a coven when I don't hundred percent believe in everything their doing.

It seems like all I want to do is fight anymore. I don't want to get along with society. Why is that? Maybe I'm just that full of pain. I feel like I'm walking through the next door of the chapter of my healing. But it feels like a door that I opened and don't know where to go. It's like a room full of mazes. Maybe I shouldn't have opened the door just yet but what do I now? I haven't had much guidance in this life I only have me to guide myself.

People say take the direction that's right in front of you but what if you're not a hundred percent feeling it? What if that road just leaves to falling off a cliff and breaking every bone in my body? I can't take a different path though or I'll be steering away from my husband and his brother who I don't want to be away from at all.

I've been feeling my soul pushing me to form a life outside of Ryan. And that scares me so much because I don't want to think about a life outside of Ryan. I don't want to lose him like Terry lost Steve Irwin. I'm not ready to detach from him yet like that, I mean I haven't even given birth to my child yet. Why are you always pushing me to do stuff I'm not ready for yet world? I vibe with conservatives here. Stop moving and changing so fast let us enjoy what we have right now.

I cried my eyes out last night. I haven't cried in a while so I probably needed it but then that's a paradox in itself because why do we need to cry? I suppose in this case to release a lot of the pressure I have been feeling inside lately. I've got to get started with my photography career because I'm going to quit my part-time job in February and need to make income. I always wanted to start my photography career but I was always so hesitant because I didn't want to turn my hobby into a capitalist dream. I don't believe in capitalism and I don't believe it works. It's like a tool that worked at one time and is now broken and we need to try something else.

If I ever have employees I'll make sure they get half of the income and not this 80/20 bullshit. If they aren't putting forth the effort into the work then obviously I will look for somebody else. Naturally that's all we can do. But for now I prefer to just team up with other photographers that are seasoned and have their own established business that we partner up on. I really love this field and I don't want to steer away from it in any way.

I'm having other fears. Like I said I've been pushed into this witch coven thing. Which to be fair they haven't really pushed me on anything else, she just kind of stuck me in there and I'm welcome to back out if I want to but I feel like I didn't learn enough about it to make a real decision on it and I'm just becoming a part of it automatically because I never made a decision. You people move too fast!!! Now my brother-in-law is dating one of them. *Sigh*

I mean I like her I just have a lot of conflicts in my heart. She favors the character that I was creating for Daniel's character in my story which is really weird because she's like a silhouette of what I already imagined. Maybe this is his dream lover maybe this is where he's supposed to be. But something about it has me really uneasy. I feel like it's all moving too fast. Maybe that's just my fear speaking, maybe it's not moving too fast and maybe that's just how I'm seeing it because I fear people. I also love Daniel very much and don't want to see him get his heart broken again. I feel like we just met these people.

She and I did not get off to a good start either. I was connecting with this lady that I really really liked name Tonya and I was having a bad day and wanted to go see her. This woman was there and Tonya said she would be leaving soon so I wouldn't have to meet new company since I was not in the mood to meet any new company. I feel like I had just met Tonya and didn't get to really get to know her yet before I'm being forced to me all these other people...so I was rude to this woman. I treated her exactly like I felt. I did not want to meet anyone new. We talked about it later and we smoothed over our bad first meeting. We got to talkin and she seems fine and I like her I just did not expect her to start dating my brother-in-law this fast. I understand he's starving for a partner because he loves romance and he deserves a good partner and that will tend to make a dog eat its food too fast and throw it back up. This is my family, my home. I love whoever he loves. But I'm jaded because the last girl he was in love with was a complete psychopath. It wasn't really love again it was starvation for love. Thankfully this woman does not seem like a psychopath. She's a very sensitive empath with a lot of love in her heart. Despite that I still feel so many fears. We got in another fight again when I was just trying to be direct, be myself. I found out how sensitive she really is.

That scares me too because I don't need anybody in my life who cannot handle me and if she's dating my brother-in-law and something comes of it she could one day become my sister-in-law. That's a big deal for me. I've never connected really well with women. I've been connecting with Tonya and I was happy with our slow pace. She's a really cool woman and I like her. So the idea of getting closer to this woman put a lot of pressure on me because I don't want to be a jerk and be completely distant from my brother-in-law's girlfriend because we've already had that issue with another friend and it will just bring up old hurt. I need people who can stand up to me when I'm at my worst moods and I'm beating you up emotionally.

Daniel's new girlfriend did that with me the other night. We got in an argument sure but we also resolved it. She did not run away from the argument and go hide. She broke down and cried right in front of me and expressed every emotion I caused her to feel. Great start right? I hate feeling like this monster that calls out everybody's bulshit including mine. I really was just trying to pull out my conflict and deal with it and not try to put the burden on her for sure but I'm not about going behind people's back and talking about them especially to the people that they are dating who else that I have to discuss this with other than her anyway? I like direct communication. I'm not a passive aggressive person. I can be passive so not to hurt your feelings but I'm not a passive aggressive person. If I've got something to say to you I'm going to say it especially when I am ready and know how I want to say it. It turned out for the better because she admitted that she needed to cry from a lot of pressure from the week and that I was the push that made her move but I'm still worried about future interactions. I don't want anyone in my life I'm just going to beat up by being myself. I need people to be in my life who can separate themselves from my anger and internal conflicts and not take on the pain.

My husband is still learning how to do this. I was ranting and venting away about him being sick and not being able to enjoy my birthday with him and he took all the pressure on as if it was his fault. 🙈 I swear I can't be angry about anything without somebody taking on the pressure themselves. I have to suck it up all the time just so I don't hurt other people's feelings. I think that's why I relate to #Slipknot so much. I've been listening to that band since I was like 11. So that means I've been listening to them for like 22 years. They are a huge part of my life and a huge influence in my life and my healing. Probably number one on my list. They're definitely a part of my soul and I definitely feel the big brother attitude that they have with society. It's beautiful and well needed for people like me. The magic of their music has filled my spirit with so much love in so many times that I needed it.

But before I go on a tangent let's get back to what was bothering me in the first place. Family. I need to work through my fears because it's not like this woman is some crazy monster person like the last girl. The last girl wanted to keep secrets with my husband about me. He immediately told me about it of course but I'm just really jaded by her and my mother because they popped in my life at the same time. They were just alike. It was like my mother pushed herself into my life not only physically but spiritually too. I have so much hatred for my mother I really wish she would die. I know she's going to die one day and I can't wait for that day to end everybodies suffering. She's one of those Santa baby ladies, gold digging, cocaine junkie narcissistic trash. She's somebody else's mess to clean up, I was not here to raise her. I don't want anybody else like her in my life ever again. The fighter in me will really show and I might damage some relationships along the way. I just hope this girl turns out to be fine. She seems fine. I'm just wrought with a lot of trust issues and fears and I'm not feeling at home right now even though I know I am home.