#��chillin’ might be an exaggeration here

[freudyou]

[dinodaweeb]

Deadly Indifference | one-shot

Deadpool X M!Reader

tw: swearing, mentions of sew a slide thoughts (from both tbh)

Summary: Deadpool wants you to show emotion. (And bugs the crap out of you.)

You sat tied to a chair, remarkably composed despite the circumstances. It’s been your third time getting kidnapped this week and it’s only Tuesday. The man who kidnapped you must’ve died already because a man in red and black walked through the door. He mimed the motion of up and down that you felt too familiar to notice.

“Hey there, buddy,” Deadpool chimed cheerfully, pacing around you. The ropes that tied your wrists to the chair felt surprisingly loose.“You know, most people would be sweating their balls off right about now. But, you’re just chillin’. I like that.”

You glanced up at him with a mild shrug, a gesture that only seemed to fuel Deadpool’s curiosity.

He’s a chatterbox.

“I gotta admit,” Deadpool continued, leaning in close with an exaggerated whisper, his mouth touching your ear. “I’m kinda into this whole ‘I don’t give a crap if Deadpool kills me’ vibe you’ve got going on. It’s refreshing. It’s… kinda hot.”

You raised an eyebrow, your expression betraying a hint of amusement. What is he even saying?

“Are we gonna do this or what?” you asked, your voice flat.

Deadpool stepped back, putting a hand to his chest in mock offense. “Wow, straight to the point! I like it. No foreplay, just bam, let’s get this show on the road. Alright, let’s see if I can make you squeal.”

“Good luck with that,” you replied dryly.

“Okay, tough guy,” Deadpool muttered, starting to circle you with exaggerated steps. “You know, most people are all ‘Oh no, Deadpool, please don’t hurt me! I have a family!’” He gave a side eye (somehow?) through the mask. Or they’ll say ‘No, I haven’t closed my tabs and my web browser history isn’t deleted!’ But you, you’re just sitting there like you’re waiting for your Uber Eats.”

“I did order some food before I got kidnapped,” you replied. “It might be waiting outside.”

Deadpool paused, tilting his head. “What did you get?”

“Chimichangas,” you said with a faint hunger in your eyes.

Deadpool’s eyes widened behind his mask. “You’re serious?”

“Yep. Thought I’d try them out.”

Deadpool’s posture relaxed, and he leaned against the back of your chair. Putting his arm on top of your head like you’ve been childhood best friends. “You know, I like you. You’ve got style. Most people don’t appreciate a good chimichanga.”

He said, as if he wasn’t trying to kill you two minutes prior.

“Are we going somewhere with this?” you asked, your tone still indifferent. You brought this question up a second time. Was he still trying to kill you?

“Right, right, getting sidetracked,” Deadpool said, snapping back to the task at hand. “So, here’s the deal: I’m gonna try and scare the crap out of you, and you’re gonna react like a normal human being. Got it?”

“Sure,” you agreed, not sounding convinced.

“Alright!” Deadpool clapped his hands together. “Let’s start with something simple. How about… I cut off a finger?”

You held up your hand, which was still loosely tied. “You gonna untie me first, or do I do it myself?”

Deadpool rolled his eyes. “You’re really killing the vibe here, you know that?”

You shrugged again. “Look, man, it’s been a long week. Just get on with it.”

Deadpool sighed dramatically. “Okay, okay. Plan B.” He suddenly leaned in close, his voice dropping to a menacing whisper. “We are going to start an only fans.”

You looked at him, deadpan. “Seriously? No one is going to pay for that shit.”

“Hey, people totally dig the whole “I got kidnapped by a hot anti-hero and now I’m slowly falling for them.” Deadpool retorted, pointing at the screen, hoping whoever reading this did not have a watt pad phase.

“This is ridiculous,” you muttered.

“You’re right,” Deadpool said, standing up straight and tossing the a coin aside. “You know what? You’re impossible to scare. So, I’m gonna make you wish you’d never crossed paths with me.”

Without warning, he drew one of his katanas and sliced a shallow cut across your cheek. The cold steel was sharp, precise, and for the first time, you felt a sting of pain.

The burn of cut flesh.

“Finally,” you muttered, almost relieved.

Deadpool noticed the change in your eyes—the hint of happiness, the glimmer of anticipation. He smirked under his mask, raising the blade as if to deliver the final blow.

You closed your eyes, ready to embrace the end. But then, nothing.

You opened your eyes to find Deadpool standing there, the blade poised but unmoving. He tilted his head, studying your reaction.

“Aw, were you actually looking forward to that?” Deadpool asked, his tone mockingly sweet.

Your expression darkened, and anger flared in your eyes. “You…”

Deadpool sheathed his katana, chuckling. “Gotcha. ❤︎ Think I’m going to let you die? Nah, you’re my new piss boy!”

“You are such an ass,” you snapped, genuinely pissed off now.

Deadpool laughed heartily, clearly enjoying your frustration. “Finally! A reaction! See? I knew you had it in you.”

He ruffled your disheveled hair. “Who’s a good boy?”

You glared at him, what a loser. “Actually fucking kill yourself.”

“Not today,” Deadpool said, still chuckling. He untied your ropes with a flourish. “Let’s go get those chimichangas.”

As the two of you headed out of the warehouse, you couldn’t help but shake your head at the absurdity of it all. Were you getting kidnapped again? Did it count if you voluntarily? Would Deadpool ever shut up and just kill you?

“So,” Deadpool said, slinging an arm around your shoulders. “How’s your spice tolerance?”

“Depends,” you replied. “Are you paying?”

“You wish.” Deadpool chuckled.

Bitch.

a/n: Lowkey kinda cringed. But eh. Can’t wait for the deadpool and wolverine movie to come out so I can write for the two of them. (making out) feel free to request :)

[dionysiospsychas-photography]

THE DRIVE PHOTO WALK

… So… Spring has arrived, obviously. And here in Vancouver it showed up hotly. I would say too hotly of course, as our photo walk was a few days before the official, calendrical first day of Spring. But I might be exaggerating on a personal level. And even tho the heat lamp in the sky felt like it bore down on us, the shadow play on building walls, shacks, and pavements was pretty nice. Me, I stayed in the shade of things. Oh, but I forget… Hello again readers!

This was our first photo walk of the year and we explored the dishevelled alleys and the less dishevelled Commercial Drive, aka The Drive. The Drive is one of the coolest streets in Vancouver. It's got very old brick apartment buildings, a bowling alley, old school and new school coffee shops with actually delish coffee, hipsters and actually hip people, shops with crammed storefronts that endure, and more recently, shops being renewed. (Top photo by Dionysios, your host, of a market building being renovated.) And getting together with a bunch of excited photogs was uplifting.

It's always a fun stroll behind and in front of The Drive, so I totally recommend to you reader doing a photo walk there with a friend. And to be inspired, see the photos of The Drive below by the cool cats, err, photogs. (Click on photos to view larger version.)

Thank you much Andy, Don, Chris C., Chris O., Chuck, Colin, Maylinn, Sandra, Sergine, and Sharon for joining our photo walk and making the day a fun one.

The chill photogs.

The rockin' photogs!

Photos by Andy Laycock \ IG: @andcouver

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Photos by Chris Cook \ IG: @cdcook_photography

Hello Friend

Fire Pizza

Chillin' On The Drive

Photos by Colin Trigg \ IG: @funktionalphotog

No Parking for You!

Boss Man

(Left) Bowl O Rama by Colin Trigg and (Right) Commercial Drive alley by Dionysios

and one more photo by Dionysios, your host \ IG: @thephotogeniccity

An exit stair in an alley

Photos by Don Janus \ IG: @donsprojects

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Photos by Sharon Wish \ IG: @bluechameleon

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And so, from your friendly neighbourhood tour guide, thank you for reading and see you at the next photo walk. And as I always say, to find new angles and experience different atmospheres of places, you just got to keep being there. I find there is pleasure in photographing together, getting to know each other, and conversing about this and that and photography. Importantly, we can be inspired by each other to keep making meaningful photographs. And it is hoped that these experiences will inspire local photographers to explore the city on their own.

So, how about you; have you explored The Drive? What interesting photos have you made? Send me an email and tell me what you think.

DP, 2024-03-31

Are you getting value out of the photo walks and the blog? If so, you can help support these by telling your friends or thru Buy Me a Coffee. Think of it as a tip jar and an easy way to say thanks. Thank you for your support, I sincerely appreciate it! Merci beacoup!

[sonianvmd]

thh characters with a crush on you

warnings: none, maybe some swearing but otherwise nothing major

oH and mentions of murder and death but this is danganronpa so im going to assume u expected as much

a/n: so we kickin this blog off with a bang, writing for LITERALLY THE ENTIRE TRIGGER HAPPY HAVOC CAST LMFAOAOAOAO (excluding hifumi, yasuhiro, and the two despairs doe bc i’ve already made that clear)

also some character’s sections are shorter than others im sorry i just couldnt think of as many bullet points for them *tiktok cry emoji*

edit: I FORGOT CELSESTE FU K SORRY

spoilers under the cut!!

★ 彡 ★ ミ ★ 彡 ★ ミ ★

makoto naegi

when he realizes he likes you, he doesn’t necessarily panic or anything, but he does get nervous

nervous around you, that is

y’all saw how he was with sayaka

if he says anything that might sound intimate then he’ll immediately rephrase it or reassure he didn’t mean anything by it

he really only does have good intentions but his wording just kinda flops sometimes

he appreciates how you listen to him and value what he says

you don't make him feel dumb or inferior compared to a bunch of ultimates with actual talents

he’ll muster up the courage to tell you eventually

let’s hope his luck comes through 😁

byakuya togami

now when THIS man realizes he likes you, he a bitch nigga bout it 😐

he can't believe he fell for a common plebeian such as you

but it was hard not to

the way you preferred to get to the point

the way you were aware of your situation and didn't sugarcoat how you felt about it, although you certainly were nicer with it than him

he's ruthless

anyways

you knew your priorities and spent no time trying to use your resources

he noticed how much you had in common; in you, he saw himself

and we all know how this mf feels about himself 😐

he’ll be quick to defend you in class trials

he won’t realize he’s doing it but he just subconsciously protects you

but just because he doesn't notice it, don't mean the rest of the class brushes past it as well

yeah they on his ass LMFAOO

kyoko kirigiri

kyoko is very good at keeping her composure so she won’t be very obvious

she’ll probably just hang around you more

she’ll also defend you in class trials, calmly

“oh, it couldn’t have been [name]. i remember seeing them in their dorm around the time the murder took place.”

hifumi probably finna say some dumb shit like “aye what was you doin in their dorm doe” but anyways

she finds you respectable

if you have anything to contribute, she’ll let you take the floor

when she tells you, she’s very composed, but also very indirect LMFAO

she’s not too sure on how to express her interest in you but maybe she’ll go about it like “well, [name], now we’ve made it here, would you like to step back into the world with me?” or somethin else along those lines idk

take her hand

pls

toko fukawa

y’all know her whole “master togami” shtick

yeah so 😁😁😁😁

no but fr, toko ofc still has her borderline stalkerish 🧍🏾‍♀️ tendencies

she’ll often find herself staring at you, either in the library or in the morning meetings everyday at breakfast

but she isn’t as straight forward as she is with byakuya

i actually think she’d be mad shy and non confrontational

the whole thing she kept up with him ? yeah, never again

if you approach her first then she’ll be able to get a few words out but for most of the conversation, she’ll just nervously play with her braids

you’ll most likely put two and two together

unless ur a makoto kinnie bc then you’ll have to wait till someone else puts it in place for u but anyways

if you decide to approach her about it, you’ll kinda be backing her into a corner bc she’s just bad at deflecting things lmao

she’ll eventually confess (begrudgingly but hey i mean its better than nothing)

expect much stuttering and a gesture like giving you a small gift

and not to be that writer that uses japanese terms in english writing but toko seems like a tsundere but not really if that makes sense?? so she’d probably shove it in your hands and if you try to say something then she’ll just try to play it off as not a big deal lol

calls u a baka 😍😍

aoi asahina

i know y’all all see how she is with sakura

yeah.

aoi is the kind of person who’d like to spend time with their crush rather than shy away from them

she values you and your friendship very much

bring her donuts

just trust me bring her donuts

she doesn’t really realize she’s into you like that for a while but believe me, she is, the whole time

and yeah i think she’d be nervous to tell you bc that’s just natural but ultimately she’d be cool about it

uh oh looks like we goin for a swim

sakura ogami

similar to kyoko, she’s very calm

despite her big and bad appearance, she really is a sweet girl

she cares for you and your well-being very much

will indeed go on x games mode for you

the way she tells you is very sincere and well spoken

kith her

naow

im sorry this is like the shortest one i couldn’t think of much for her 😔😔

leon kuwata

flirtatious ass mf

and he’s lightskin

so this just cannot go well

y’all know that bit where it’s like the guy yawns and stretches his arms up and then wraps one around your shoulder

yeah that’s literally him LMFAOO

he’s very confident

he was fairly well known with the ladies at his old school so you know he’s rhockin wit it ‼️

but

you feel.. different than usual ??

those girls were just lil flings n dates bc he was nice enough to accept their confessions and it boosted his ego anyway so it was a win win

but you

he was genuinely interested in you since he had saw you the first time

he didn’t just acknowledge your appearance

he learnt about your personality and your hobbies and what you liked and such, and he really cared and wanted to hear you talk about it all

he felt the need to really make an effort to show you how much he respected and had affections for you

he doesn't tell you in a grand way

probably just asks you out to a movie or somethin

he's chillin

mondo owada

you know

for being the biggest, baddest, most respected biker gang leader

or just for being in a biker gang period

mondo’s a huge softie lol

yeah he gets violent but he’s a sweet guy who cares about and is loyal to his friends

so mfs need to be nice to you

or they gettin whooped

when he decides it’s time to tell you how he feels, he thinks over his words and he’s all confident there’s no way you’d reject him but then he sees you in the halls and goes 🧍🏾 LMFAOOO

he’ll push through but it’s like he’ll walk up to you and look away from you because he refuses eye contact and just go

“so y/n, would you wanna.. tch.. come to a drive-in movie with me or somethin’?... dumbass.”

real smooth mondo i think you got em good job

please tease him LMFAOO it’d be so funny

he’d probably yell but you can tell he’s not mad so you just keep going with it

but once you’re done tormenting him, you do agree to the movie, don’t worry 🙏🏾

also mondo would call his s/o doll

that is all

chihiro fujisaki

my fav dude in a dress <3

chihiro would be quite shy, but that’s just how he is tbh so no surprise there

he’s very kind so he’d check up on you often just to see how you are

he cares about you v much

the way he confesses is one that consists of a red face as he offers you a box of candy or something similar

and he’d feel honored that you reciprocate his feelings

he’d be very scared to tell you his secret but once he does, he’s delighted to hear it doesn’t make any difference to you

he doesn’t know how he got so lucky with you

not only because woooo they like me back but also because you like him despite,, well everything about him LMFAOO

sweet lil boy

i’d feel like he’d talk about you to alter ego a lot

and when u meet the program for the first time, he’s like “oh! you must be [name]! master’s told me all about you :)”

sobbing i miss him

kiyotaka ishimaru

okay here’s the thing

if taka were to like someone

i can’t tell whether he’d be more strict because he doesn’t want them to get in trouble (and also so it would hopefully divert any suspicion that he DOES like you since he treats you the same as everyone else, only more)

or if he’d hold back more because he favors them LMFAOO

so imma write a lil bit for both

in the case that he was even stricter:

he’d prefer to be around you because he believes the best way he can make sure you stay out of trouble is to make sure you don’t get into any in the first place

of course it’s impossible to monitor you every second of every day but he does his best to make sure you’re doing well

if he sees you do anything out of line, he’s shutting that shit down IMMEDIATELY

but in the case he let up:

he’d still lecture you but noticeably less than the other students

if your feet were resting on top of a desk, he’d ask you to move them and then leave you alone rather than yell at you and forcibly move them himself

if you notice his behavior towards you in comparison to the other students do not tease him about it he will go as red as his eyes /hj

either way he’s confessing to you with a polite but exaggerated bow while holding out a well thought out letter with both hands

sayaka maizono

she will tell you

idk why but i feel like she’d be straight up lol

she’d make sure she’s sincere

she is the ultimate pop idol and all so she wants to make sure you know that she really does like you and isn’t playing a sick joke on you or anything

ok bc

while i do think she’d tell you

i’d feel like she’d be a little indirect just to see how you feel

like she’d give you a free ticket to one of her upcoming concerts with a kind smile

and naturally, you're like :o

and of course you come to support her

and seeing you smile at her from the crowd and cheer her on was the encouragement she needed to push her to ask you out

for real this time

she asks if you wanna come to a concert with her and ur like “oh yeah i love ur shows!!” bc ur dumb and then she’s like “no i mean.. for another artist” and eventually it hits you that she’s asking you out and ur like “oH YEAH YEAH SURE THAT SOUNDS GREAT YEAH OK” LMFAOO

———

i really hope that this is good LMFAOO this is my first time writing for dr so 😃👍🏾

fun fact i finished toko’s section first and taka’s last 😁😁

and i’d like to thank @mius-imagination @bloodygir n the rest of the discord for helping me figure some of these characters out *simultaneously whips and nae naes*

bye ive been working on this for like weeks this took forever

———

edit: here’s a deleted section bc i kept blanking for this character 😍

[joat-jackofalltrades]

Batfam OC Headcanons

These headcanons are all about my superfamily, who I've dubbed the Shadefam. I have post dedicated to their basic info, here. I'm posting this for fun and to invite others to make their own super family or OC family with far too many headcanon and random chapters for a book that'll never be written.

BTW when I say S1, S2, or S3 I'm referring to the certain seasons in Young Justice

Buck- trans ftm taken in by Faith at age 12 because his father isn’t able to properly take care of him. (His dad loves and accepts him, but is very broke and wants what’s best for his son)

Hope is taken in by her sister at age 8 in 2013 when their mother died

Buck dates Bart for a period of time before they mutually agree to break up, both lowkey being attached to other teammates at the time (Jaime and Tim)

Faith is bi and doing fine

Grace is lesbian and freaking disaster

Hope is ace and valid

Buck is trans/gay and perfect

Cody is ace/aro and chillin with his homies

Faith and Grace had a fling for a few months but broke up mutually

Grace has a butch lesbian girlfriend named Joana

They always go to pride and their hero atls hang different pride flags the night before July 1st around the city

Hope lowkey grew up without really registering gender and doesn’t say hello to new people, but asks for their preferred pronouns

Bart’s the closest person to Buck in the Outsiders, being the only person that knows about his true powers as well as the few that knows his birth name

Goes to Bart or Garfield when he has a nightmare at the headquarters

Bruce payed for Buck’s top surgery after S2

Keith is the only straight person in the Shadows

Lily is pan and loves her frogs

Lily really likes frogs and has a small tank for them in her apartment

Hope has one frog gifted to her from her favorite aunt

Cody is the only person allowed to cook in the Manor

Cuddle piles when the enter family is together at their secret hideout

Cody is the only one that owns an actual house and they use the basement as their “hideout”

Lots of “Are the Straights Okay?” moments when the group is people watching during stakeouts

Grace being a flirt to everyone

Hope knowing every curse word at age 9 because her sister can’t shut up

Lots of scolding because of profanity

Faith smacking people upside the head

Cody is Buck’s go to when he’s feeling dysphoria when he’s with the fam

Family nights every friday cause none of them got the most normal lives (Faith lost her parents young as did Cody, Grace wasn’t accepted by her family and lost her parents before even turning 20, Hope only had her parents for 8 years, Lily never had a father and her mother is a thief, Buck lost his mother young and left his father before age 13, and Keith lived mostly alone with a constantly working father. Plus they’re all heroes so I mean none of them are remotely normal)

Cody entered the Shadefam after S3 and doesn’t know that he was previously working with Jason for a period of time

Very confused brother reunion when Cody and Jason meet again

The pair of them both worked for Ra’s a Ghul at the same time in the S3

Lily gives Buck a frog plush that he holds after nightmares at the headquarters

Faith does daily calls to her children

Faith was raised by Bruce, how could she not take in a small child that looks like a mini her

Faith being a mom to everyone, even her brother at times

Faith: “Cody… why are you not wearing any socks?”

Cody: “Why would I be wearing socks?”

Faith: “Because the floor is freezing! Now go put on some damn socks so you don’t get a cold!”

Cody: “But-”

Faith: “Do not try me Cody North Miers.”

Cody: “Damn… the middle name.”

Cody trying to keep Lily and Grace from getting killed on the field

Faith trying to keep Lily and Grace from getting killed off the field

Faith moves in with Keith after her amputation because he has a first floor apartment and she can’t do stairs yet

Keith finds out about MJ and Faith finds out about Hunter after he sneaks back in from a patrol before the accident

Grace and Lily are chaotic a hell, pushing themselves as far as they can during training and mission

They are the two that get hurt the most often

Though Faith always has the worst injuries cause she’s a mama bear that will leap in front of her children

Cody will get pretty severe ones as well when he jumps in front of Faith

Cody: “Why the fuck do you keep jumping in front of them?!”

Faith: “I am mama bear bitch!”

Cody: “Well stop being mama bear cause you’re going to get yourself killed one day.”

Faith: “I can’t die bitch!”

Cody and Faith being responsible adults and the most mature of the group, to being bickering siblings at each other's throats

It always ends up shocking the rest of the fam as well as the Team and the Batfam

Cody: “Can you grab me a pop?”

Faith: “The hell is a pop?”

Cody: “You know a Coke or Sprite.”

Faith: “You mean a soda?”

Cody: “Yeah a pop.”

Faith: “It’s soda!”

Cody: “Pop!”

Faith: “SODA!”

Cody: “POP!”

Halo: “Are they fighting over what to call a drink?”

Buck: “Yeah…”

The Shadefam is sort of a faction of the Batfam

Buck ships Bartuardo and got Hope to agree with him after she jumped ship from Bluepulse

Bruce is lowkey protective of Buck (he loves his grandson)

Buck is Alfred’s favorite of the Shadefam children

Cody and Faith are his favorites of the adults

Faith insists they eat dinner at the table together before leaving early to go invent

Grace and Faith have coffee addictions

Hope is not allowed near caffeine, neither is Buck

Lily shows up at Grace’s and Faith’s separate apartments randomly

Faith was the shoulder Lily cried in after Jason death

Bruce accidentally introduced Buck as his grandson to a board of people when he stopped by Wayne Enterprise

Bruce: “This is Buck, my grandson. He’ll be sitting in today because his mother is busy.”

The news outlets had a field day trying to figure out which Wayne kid was his parents and the person that they knocked up or got knocked up by. Many settled on Faith getting knocked up by some random guy before realizing the math didn’t work.

One outlet found out that Buck was born female and called him a “she” in their coverage of it.

Bruce lost it.

Bruce: “I read your coverage of my grandson. I would like to kindly ask you to pull that story.”

Reporter: “But Wayne sir.”

Bruce: “You misgendered my grandson. So either print an apology or I will be suing.”

Bruce does not stand for misgendering

Keith and Faith child’s godmothers are Grace and Joana

Hope and Buck are practically their child’s older siblings

Lily is the child’s favorite auntie

Keith leaves after their child’s birth

Keith: “Someone needs to be here in case something happens to you.”

Faith: “Nothing’s going to happen to me, Love.”

Keith: “Can you guarantee that?”

Faith: “...”

Keith: “That’s what I thought.”

Faith: “I’m not leaving.”

Keith: “I know. And I don’t blame you. You were built for the hero’s life. I wasn’t.”

Faith: “I swear I’ll be careful. For you and for them.”

Both Hope and Buck move to the Outsiders and later Buck leads the Team, leaving the Shadows.

Faith: “The Team? Buck that’s great!”

Buck: “I thought you’d be a bit more… I don’t know feeling the mode about this.”

Faith: “Why? Cause my little hodgepodge of a team is losing a member?”

Buck: “Well yeah.”

Faith: “Buck. The Shadows were just a covert team for the East. Plus it’s not like I’m really losing you. You are my son after all.”

Buck: “I know. And I’ll never forget that… Mom.”

Lily moved in with Jason and the two of them focused more on Gotham, Lily becoming a true Bat.

Lily: “So I guess I’m a Bat now.”

Faith: “Yup.”

Lily: “No longer a Shade.”

Faith: “The Shades were created by a Bat and consisted of like four current Bat members. The Shades are like a stepping stone.”

Lily: “I guess. I’m still gonna miss family nights.”

Faith: “The Shadows might be decreasing in numbers, but that doesn’t mean we’re ending Shade family nights. Bring along Jason, I’m sure he’ll have a ton of fun.”

Lily: “Yeah surrounded by youngins! He’ll be ecstatic!”

Faith: “Well he does need to prepare.”

Lily: “How the fuck did you know!”

Faith: “Wait, what!”

And that’s how Faith learned Lily was pregnant

Grace leaves the hero world once she and Joana get married and she becomes a criminal prosecutor, sealing the fate of the Shadows

Faith: “So you’re giving it up then?”

Grace: “The hero's life is great and every Faith, but.”

Faith: “I know. It’s a lot.”

Grace: “I mean I never wanted to be a hero, I just wanted to put the bad guys away. That’s what I’m doing now. Plus Joana always frets over me after a mission, even if nothing bad happened.”

Faith: “That’s pretty reasonable. Keith tends to exaggerate the smallest cuts.”

Grace: “So you’re not upset that you’re losing another member?”

Faith: “The Shadows were just a covert team for smaller crimes. I always have my back up with the League.”

Grace: “So the Shadows are done now?”

Faith: “For the time being.”

Cody never left the team, but with only two members it became more of a partnership. They continued to work together, with them assisting the League, Team, and Bats whenever they were needed

Even after the team breaks up, they all gather up once a month and hang out for board games, movies, or a patrol around the city for old times sake.

The older members (Faith, Grace, and Keith) do a lot of reminiscing while the “kids” (Buck, Lily, and Hope) just goan and roll their eyes as Cody listens to the tales of his sister and her friends

Lily and Jason never planned on having any biological children, but they did plan on taking in a street kid. They ended up with one biological child and one street kid

Cody becomes the next Bruce Wayne, training and taking in kids that need a good home

Grace and Joana have three kids, two of which have Grace’s abilities

The entire Shade family is always invited to Bat family reunions. Damian was very confused by the massive amount of people that showed up after Bruce told him he only had a “few” siblings.

Damian: “Eight is not a few Father.”

Bruce: “You have seven siblings Damian. Buck is your nephew.”

Damian: “He’s nearly 16 years older than me.”

Bruce: “Yes but he’s Faith’s son.”

Damian: “Reigns is only seven years younger than Miers.”

Bruce: “He still calls her mom correct?”

Damian: “Yes.”

Bruce: “And he calls me Grandpa?”

Damian: “Yes.”

Bruce: “Then he is your nephew.”

Damian: “But Kyle also calls her mom.”

Bruce: “Your sister does it as a joke to annoy your oldest sister.”

Damian: “Kyle is the only blood sibling I have here. Why must I consider the rest of these people siblings?”

Bruce: “Because they are.”

Damian: “Well… seven is still not a small amount of people.”

Bruce: “With the amount of people here, seven is a few.”

Cody is a light sleeper, waking at the slightest sounds

Grace sleeps like the dead, freezing water and banging pots are the only thing that wake her

Keith can sleep through stuff if he’s in a deep sleep, but also wakes to small shifts in the bed when Faith has a nightmare

Faith is another light sleeper, though not as light as her brother

Lily can and will sleep through anything that doesn’t sound threatening, aka wakes only to gunshots and the scrapping of a blade in its sheath

Buck is a deep sleeper, though often wakes to nightmares

Hope sleeps a lot like her sister, though she’s easier to wake up

When Cody wakes up, he’s up. If he’s woken up, a perimeter check is needed before he goes to sleep. If he wakes up on his own, he still does a perimeter check before going about his day

Grace doesn’t fully wake up until she’s had her eggs and instant caramel coffee

Keith rises with the sun full of energy after seeing Faith sleeping beside him

Faith wakes up tired and a little sluggish, needing black coffee to really wake up in the morning

Lily lives in a permanent state of sluggishness during daylight hours, she draws her power through the moon

Buck is always a bit tired, with usual bursts of random energy

Hope wakes with the sun cause she herself is a ray of sun

Faith & Keith child

Valarie (biological)

Cody’s children

Westly (adopted)

Conner (adopted)

Grace & Joana’ children

Derek (Grace’s biological)

Sophie (Grace’s biological)

Adrian (adopted)

Jason & Lily’s children

Charlie (street kid)

Jaden (biological)

Faith, Hope, and Grace are called the holy trinity as a joke

How Lily and Jason act

PDA constantly, it’s not huge things but it’s very clear that they are together

Nightmare comfort

Got together after Jason came back from the dead, working together as Red Hood and Scarlet Falcon

Were rivals of sorts before his death when Lily was still Misfortune. They fought a lot as Robin and Misfortune, though Faith refuses to let Jason take her in

Lily runs cold so she often wears Jason’s jacket

Faith gave both Lily and Jason the “if you hurt my sibling” lecture. Jason was terrified by it, while Lily shrugged it off

Faith: “You hurt my baby brother, I will hurt you tenfold. I will get a crowbar.”

Lily: “Reasonable.”

Faith: “If you hurt my baby sister, I will hurt you tenfold. I will get a crowbar.”

Jason: “Okay ma’am.”

Buck isn’t a meta but cursed

Hope gets killed in 2023 during the first mission that the team gets together after 2020

Shadefam split by 2020, with Keith, Hope, & Buck leaving in 2018, Grace leaving in 2019, and Lily leaving in 2020 with Faith moving from High Hills in 2019

Keith and Faith move after S3 in 2019 to Star City to man the Wayne Enterprise in the West and raise Valerie in a less crime-ridden area

Cody takes over protecting High Hills, taking on two wards

Grace and Joana move to a smaller town outside of New York so Grace couldn’t be dragged back into the Life

Lily lives with Jason in Gotham

Cody was almost taken by the Court of Owls to become a Talon (their mother’s death was a result of the Court) saved by the League of Shadows instead

Valerie

Metahuman with the True Sight ability

Born 2018

Year younger than Damian

Joins the Team as Seer

Connor

Eldest of the Shade children

Born 2014

Joins the family when he's seven

Loves musical theatre

Doesn’t do fieldwork and works as the man behind the screen for his brother and father

Westly

Second eldest of the Shade children

Born 2016

Joins the family when he's six

Works on the field with his father (Bullseye)

Mathlete

Derek & Sophie

Twins

Born 2019

Sophie is a shadow bender (Yin)

Derek is a light bender (Yang)

Both join the Life (much to Joana dismay)

Adrian

Same age as the “twins”

Born 2019

Doesn’t join the Life

Works with their mom (Joana) in the family jeweler shop

Charlie

Equal eldest Shade child (though entered the family far later than Conner)

Born 2014

Joins the family when he's nine

Doesn’t join the Life and studies pre-med to fix up his family

Jaden

(2020)

Joins the Life

When People Call Faith “Mom”

Cody, Grace, Dick, and Jason call her Mom as a joke or when she’s being to much of a mama bear

Grace: “Alright. Alright Mom. We’ll stop.”

Faith: “Don’t call me Mom Grace.”

Dick: “Alright… Mama Bear.”

Faith: “I will kill you Dick.”

Jason: “Oh don’t kill him Mum, he’s a good big brother.”

Faith: “-Jay.”

Cody: “Relax Mother. They’re just playing with you.”

Faith: “CODY!”

Lily does it as a joke most of the time, though often accidentally does it

Lily: “Jeez let up Faith I’m fine.”

Faith: “Fine? Lily, you nearly bled out an hour ago.”

Lily: “Yeah an hour a ago.”

Faith: “Sit the fuck back down you asshole.”

Lily: “Okay.”

Faith: “What were you thinking Lily? You could have been killed. You could have gotten Buck killed.”

Lily: “You quoting Lion King now?”

Faith: “Lily.”

Lily: “Sorry.”

Faith: “What were you planning, Lily? What if we couldn’t have gotten to you in time? What if Buck was in your place? What if we lost you?”

Lily: “I’m- I’m sorry Mom.”

Faith: “I know you- Did you just call me Mom?”

Lily: “Aaaa- no?”

Hope never means to call Faith Mom, but it does just kind of happen

Faith: “Time to get up, Hope. You got school in thirty minutes.”

Hope: “Mmmm.”

Faith: “Come on Hope.”

Hope: “I don’t wanna go Mom.”

Faith: “It’s only for seven hours, Hope.”

Hope: “Mmm. Fine.”

Faith: “Good. Be ready in ten please.”

Hope: “Alright M- Faith. I meant Faith… not Mom.”

Buck calls her Mom the most (besides her own daughter)

Faith: “Have fun sweety.”

Buck: “I will Mom.”

Faith: “You know I’m not old enough to be your mother.”

Buck: “I know Mom. And you know I don’t care.”

faith: “And neither do I in all honesty.”

Tim accidentally called her mom once, which her reflect response was “I’m too young to be your mother”

Faith: “Tim? What are you still doing up?”

Tim: “Working.”

Faith: “For how long?”

Tim: “... I’m on hour… 56?”

Faith: “Go to bed Tim.”

Tim: “But I just need 10 more hours to finish.”

Faith: “Nope. You’re going to bed.”

Tim: “Hey! Put me down!”

Faith: “No. Tim you are a growing boy who needs to sleep.”

Tim: “But I have to-”

Faith: “Sleep! You have to sleep.”

Tim: “Put me down Faith.”

Faith: “Alright.”

Tim: “No I’m not going to bed.”

Faith: “Yes. Yes, you are.”

Tim: “I don’t need you to tuck me in Faith. I’m a grown man.”

Faith: “You’re a seventeen-year-old boy, not a grown man. Now go to bed.”

Tim: “Mmm. Fine. Good night Mom.”

Faith: “I’m too young to be your mother.”

Tim: “...”

Faith: “Good night Timmy.”

Damian also did it by accident once (Jason never let him live it down)

Faith: “I’m fine guys. Just a bit banged up.”

Jason: “Just a bit?”

Dick: “Faith you were held captive for nearly three weeks.”

Tim: “We stayed up endless nights to get you back.”

Lily: “We got to you to find you with a punctured lung and a broken arm.”

Faith: “Yes. But I’m fine now.”

Bruce: “You’re off patrol for the next three weeks and I’ll make sure you get a week off from work.”

Faith: “I don’t need that Bruce. I’ll be fine going back to work and I doubt three weeks probation is needed.”

Damian: “You nearly died Mother!”

Everyone: “Mother?”

Faith: “...”

Tim: “Did you just call Faith Mother?”

Dick: “Well it certainly wasn’t a joke.”

Jason: “I think the demon needs a mommy figure.”

Damian: “Shut up Todd!”

Jason: “Demon misses his mommy!”

Damian: “I said SHUT UP!”

Faith: “Enough! Both of you! Damian get off your brother! Jason stop teasing your brother.”

Damian: “...”

Faith: “Thank you. Now. Damian I’m fine. I’ve been through far worse.”

Lily: “No you haven’t.”

Faith: “You do remember that I got into a car accident where I lost my leg, right?”

Lily: “... Right.”

Faith: “Now I’m going to go watch a movie cause I’ve been stuck in a wooden chair for a few weeks and I have a strange urge to watch Ratatouille.”

And that's it for now. I might make another post about these guys, maybe I won't, depends if people like this.

[mymindsmadness]

Why I hate seeing the Uchiha logo on Sakura’s shirt/why I don’t ship SasuSaku

DISCLAIMER: I’m not shitting on anyone’s ship. I get it. You love them. You do you booboo, I’m just here to speak my truth. Don’t come at me with comments shitting all over the things I love. You have your opinion and I have mine.

If you are a SasuSaku shipper and you read past this point, you have no one but yourself to blame for your anger!

I’m probably gonna rant a bit, so I’ll start with the bottom line. Sakura and Sasuke’s relationship is one of the most toxic relationships I’ve ever seen.

Unrelated (but kind of related): All the female character are written pretty shitty, and that adds to this whole mess.

Part I [Young Love]:

Okay. I get it. She’s all for Sasuke and he doesn’t give her the time of day. We love a queen that gets hers in the end. The problem is that Sakura’s core personality traits are based off of her obsession. Her wants. Her flaws. Her essence as a [non] person is completely defined by Sasuke’s character. This is even verified when Kakashi asks them about themselves and Sakura literally gives [giggles] Sasuke for every answer.

When they’re tested with the bells, Sakura shows no ninja prowess whatsoever. She shows no skill beyond hiding in a bush. The only time we really see her moving/thinking/talking, is when it’s to ‘rescue Sasuke’. She even refers to him as ‘my Sasuke’ a dozen or so times. Seriously, it could be a drinking game.

During the chunin exams, we see a little more of a backbone from Sakura. But even as she struggles to make herself be seen, she really only wants to be seen by – you guessed it – Sasuke.

When Sasuke gets extra angsty [YOLO style], and tries to leave the village, Sakura tries to go with him. Think about that. Sakura tries to leave the village. Her home. Her family. Her friends. Everything! She does this because the idea of becoming a criminal is more appealing than being left behind by Sasuke.

But you know what? I’ll excuse it. She’s only thirteen at this point. She’s entitled to make stupid choices in the name of puppy love. We’ve all been there, man. And sure, at thirteen all love feels like true love. You know what girl? I forgive you.

Part II [Personal Growth]

At this point, Sakura’s whole character arch is defined by the people that leave her. And I could forgive this – almost. Enter Tsunade. I love Tsunade. I worship Tsunade. She is probably the one female character in the whole show that is as well integrated as the men [if we ignore the fact that her whole backstory is revolved around them]. When Sakura started training with Tsunade, I knew there was about to be an Eye of the Tiger montage. Sure enough, my girl comes through. Come Shippuden, Sakura is kicking ass and taking names [literally]. Better yet, she found her niche in medical ninjutsu [insert joke about how females always play the healers]. She’s got chakra for days and the control of a saint. Piss my girl off? You ‘bout to lose a lung.

Yes, Sakura’s still insecure when it comes to her place among the others, but can we blame her? She had demi-gods as teammates. But it’s different now. Sakura knows she’s a badass. She’s fully aware that her control and strength are something to be proud of. She uses those years of neglect and training to help her comrades!... and chase down Sasuke.

By the beginning of the 4th war, this bitch has lost her damn mind. At this point, Sakura and Naruto have been searching for Sasuke for the last 3 [or so] years. All this time, Sakura is under the impression that she’s in love with him. The times from when Sasuke left to the end of the war, are some of the most defining years in a person’s life. At 13-17 is when a person’s personality really starts to develop and lay out the foundation for the adult they will be.

Part III [All’s Fair]

Now, I’m not saying that Sakura didn’t hold a certain level of love for Sasuke her whole life. It’s very possible. However, there was no way it could be a romantic love. Think about who you were when you were twelve. Now think about who you were at seventeen. Did anything change in that time?

Sakura could not have been in love with Sasuke because she didn’t know who he was. They hadn’t been in contact in years! She had the memory of who he had been on a pedestal, and without him around to alter that image, it became more and more idyllic. By the time Sasuke returned [at the end of the war], Sakura was still in love with the idea of him.

She had put their relationship and romance in the forefront of her mind all of her life. It had been her driving force and defining mindset. When this crazy ass bitch [ily gurl] activated her seal and literally jumped on a pike for her boys, it was the most badass thing she’d ever done. And when she was done with that? She got upset that Sasuke hadn’t noticed/cared. She was fighting for her friends, her family, her village, her life… and all that confidence she had gained was brought down by the fact that the boy she thought she loved didn’t notice.

Part IV [In Which Sasuke Cares… Allegedly]

Remember when Sakura finally got Sasuke to notice her? When he overcame his terminal broodiness and admitted that he was touched that she never gave up hope in him? When he kissed her goodbye with the promise of returning and being worth all of her unfounded love and attention?

Oh… right… that never happened.

I mean… he tapped her forehead like Itachi did to him that one time… Same thing I suppose.

Okay, okay… I might be being a little harsh. I’ll concede that it is a genuine act of affection for Sasuke. But… a minor one. Alright, our broody boi doesn’t like PDA… Still, we’re given no indication that they talked about their feelings before this goodbye. That’s backed up by the fact that she asks to go with him – something she would have done before now if they had. Legit, Naruto got more of a goodbye than Sakura did [two dudes, chillin’ in the woods].

To the best of everyone’s knowledge, Sasuke only stayed in Konoha for about a year after the war. Now, depending if you follow the manga or anime, some of that time might have been in jail. My point is, that a year or less was spent in the village after several years of Sakura loving him from a distance.

At this point, she very well might have learned about the older Sasuke. She might have decided that she did still love him [doubtful on a realistic level]. But then he leaves. We’re not sure for how long, but if we look at Boruto, it’s common for him to leave for long periods of time.

Once again, Sakura is left behind with her memories of the man she thinks she loves [because without a functioning adult relationship, there’s no way to be sure].

Part V [Sakura Achieves Her Nightmare Dreams]

Let’s step into Boruto for this next part. We flash forward to all of our beloved characters in their adult years. I know what you’re thinking ‘Oh! I’ve missed so much! They’re all so grown up!’. Hahaha, don’t worry. They’re not at all the same people.

Since the series is based on the children, we’re forced to fill in some of the blanks ourselves. Sakura – the best medic nin in Konoha. The woman whose strength rivals that of her mentor’s. The woman who mastered the Seal of 100. The woman who grew into her own as a character, even if the driving force was a boy - is living her best life as… a housewife? I mean... maybe?

We don’t know this for sure, and a lot of us hope she runs the hospital or something [because we want all good things for our girl], but have you noticed that she doesn’t wear a headband? A ninja one that is. The girl who worked hard to not be left behind’s whole adulthood is… the woman left behind.

Even if it can be argued that she achieved her goal… has she? Yes, she wanted to be Sasuke’s wife and baby mama since waaaaay too young of an age to be thinking about that shit, but like this? We know from the fact that Sakura fainted when Sasuke came home that he’s rarely there. This means that she probably raised their daughter alone. Even now, she can’t just leave because Sasuke’s always away.

If you think I’m taking libraries with filling in the gaps, I refer you to that one time her daughter basically asked if they were really married. And if you think I’m exaggerating Sasuke’s absence, I refer you to that time he almost killed his fucking daughter because he didn’t know what she looked like!

Let that sink in.

Part VI  [In Summation]

Sakura was a girl that grew up with a false ideal of love. She obsessed over a person that didn’t exist and carried that falsehood into her adult life. When presented with everything she thought she had wanted her whole life, Sakura jumped on the chance because it was the logical move. In gaining everything that she thought she wanted, Sakura lost any personal growth that she had gained by the absence of her obsession aka Sasuke.

Sasuke, who had ignored her as a child, tried to kill her as a teen, and barely acknowledged her beyond using her to revive his clan, can’t be bothered to even appreciate her. Even as he leaves again as an adult, he says goodbye to their daughter [again, with an oh-so-affectionate poke], but simply walks away from Sakura.

The truth is that given the way she blushes and faints around him still, Sakura doesn’t know him. She’s still in love with an idea of the man that grew from the boy she had been obsessed with all her life. She wears the Uchiha symbol on her back as a reminder that she did it. She got the guy! True love wins again! I mean… maybe? He’s fucked her at least, so…

There’s a chance that Sasuke loves Sakura. I think he loves her for loving him. At the very least, we know he’s fond of her… I assume.

Sakura was a character that was used to further the plot of a man. Even as an adult, she’s left to sit and pine as the boys go off on their adventures. She’s a woman that’s stuck in a hell of her own creation – even if she loves her daughter and the things that marrying Sasuke has brought her.

There’s ‘getting the guy’ and being trapped in a toxic idealized relationship. How you choose to see this one is up to you.

[wren-bishop]

Bishop Gameroom // The boys

Wren, Stevie, Jesse, and Chase get together to go over some text messages. 

@stevie-summers @jessekxller @chase-stephens​

Wren: Wren was sitting with his phone plugged into the TV to cast, "Seriously, look at these" he said, happy they were having a moment away from Jonah. He felt bad about it all.

Jesse: Jesse watched as the text messages played came up on the tv. "Oh my god." He said speachless

Wren: "Also! I posted this instagram story at [insert time] and she tweeted, hear me out at [insert time]. Am I crazy??? She's tweeting about me, right?" said Wren feeling like a maniac.

Stevie: Stevie couldn't help but laugh, "This girl is really a piece of work."

Jesse: Jesse's eyes went wide. "Oh yeah thats def about you, but you could chill with the grey. My poor eyes can't unsee that."

Wren: "I wasn't thinking about that" said Wren, "I was just tryna be confident, gimme a break. Also trying to catch a new honey" he added.

Chase: Chase rolled up, "hey guys, she has strep so I'm here and why is Wren's gray sweatpants thirst trap just chillin on the tv?" said Chase as he sat down on the couch, Wren caught him up to speed and showed the texts. "So is anyone gonna tell Jonah?" he asked.

Stevie: "You look dude. Nothing wrong with showing off a bit." Stevie told Wren with a smile before turning her attention to Chase. "Not it! I got nothing to do with this. This one's on you guys."

Chase: "Can't someone just tell Juliette? I feel like she gives him bad news all the time" said Chase, hoping to god it wouldn't be him. But lets be honest, it was totally going to be him.

Jesse: Jesse shook his head "I would... but Me + Jonah + devyn = a bad discussio"

Jesse: "I just..... I can't believe she called you daddy right up in there.."

Wren: "Right? At first I was kinda into getting even with Jonah, but she kept mentioning him and then hitting on me? Like I'm usually not good with this stuff ... but even I noticed" said Wren

Jesse: "And people look at me sideways when I say she plays them mind games. The 'I only think of you' meanwhile she trynna slide down my pants and yours"

Wren: "In my defense, I am horny and weak ... and she's so hot" said Wren with a wince, "but I think she might legit be nuts, also did you see that thing about how she said I'm friends with nerds?? The audacity when she's wanted like half of us"

Stevie: "You think she would've learned after screwing you over." Stevie motioned her head towards Jesse. "I guess Chase is next." she patted the boy's back.

Chase: "I mean, she called me a perv ... so I think that I'm safe for now" said Chase, "also two out of three of these conspiracies are traaaaaaaaaaaash. Riley not being blind? That's a low blow" he added, kinda annoyed.

Jesse: "Yeah, shes hot be let me be real. Her head game is weak and the sex is kinda boring." Jesse said with a shrug. "Bro. I heard that the car accident she was in was like.. really bad. She told me she was in the hospital for months."

Stevie: "Couldn't be me." Stevie shook her head. "But yeah, I'm not really sure why she would think Riley would lie about something like that."

Jesse: "She said its because shes good at cheer." Jesse said pulling out his phone and pulluing up her instagram and scrolling. "Whats a worlds champion?" He said before watching some videos from before her accident. "Oh my god how does someone do flips like that????" He said a bit shook. "I don't think shes lying. I've witnessed her walk into a door once"

Chase: "Riley was the best on the team before the accident, and she definitely still kicks ass" said Chase.

Wren: "The sex was boring? Not doing that again" said Wren with an eyeroll.

Jesse: "And shes hot." Jesse pointed out. "Go griffin, hot and flexiable" He said with a laugh. "Was Val boring in bed too? God I got lucky with Olivia."

Wren: "We only fucked once" said Wren, "didn't even get my dick sucked" admitted Wren.

Stevie: "So hot." Stevie smiled to herself. "Cut these girls some slack, at least you all get off by the end of it." she teased them. "But seriously dude, get your dick sucked. Have fun."

Wren: "People keep playing me, do I just look like I enjoy used by girls with no perks?" asked Wren, half joking.

Jesse: "stop!" Jesse said shaking his head. "You deserve it all, wrenny." Jesse added on. "Okay but like, If imma go down on her, she should at least return the favor." Jesse pointed out. "What if you gave all the head and didn't get any back?" he asked Stevie

Stevie: "That's gotta be someone's kink." Stevie said as a joke. "I'm sure you'll get your dick sucked soon." she gave Wren a thumbs up. "Well that's just being inconsiderate. I like to hookup with nice people that care about making me feel good as well." she said, placing her hand over her heart.

Wren: "I swear to god, cone of silence ... looking at you Chase. But I've never gotten head, only given it" said Wren, kind of embarrassed.

Jesse: "Wren, baby. You have to be more assertive." Jesse pointed out. "But Devyn would prob do it if you asked her, but like I said. It was weak." He added in. "But we can't deny shes a simp for simp nation"

Wren: "Girls just aren't into me. Maybe I should just take Asher up on his offer" joked Wren, well about the second half. "She is! That's what makes no sense" he replied.

Stevie: "Dude, how many times do I have to tell you? Girls are into you. I wouldn't lie to you." Stevie shook her head. "I mean I heard Asher already made himself quite comfortable in your room at the party so..."

Jesse: "Careful. Make sure that boy gets tested before you even look at him." He said with a laugh. "There are plenty of single hot girls in this school that would love you blow you." Jesse took out his phone again. "You guys should see the texts between me and devyn"

Chase: Chase kept his damn mouth shut about the fact that it did not happen.

Wren: Wren passed the connector to Jesse, "Feel free to demonstrate to the class" he said.

Stevie: "God there's more?" Stevie asked after laughing

Jesse: Jssse plugged in his phone. “This is the text message saying she thinks about me and my dick when she is in bed alone” he said before scrolling a big more up. “This is her telling me how much she likes my dick and then throws in a hope it runs in the family comment. Like gross.” He said before scrolling to the bottom “and this is her apologizing for it because I actually stood up for myself and let’s not forget how she tweeted the world that I was small.”

Wren: "Yeah calling a man small, not cool" said Chase, war flashbacks to the gossip blog anons.

Jesse: “I’m not even small and hate to share I’m not even average.” He said with a shrug. “She just trying to make all the girls think I am so they stay away but jokes on her because Olivia loves me and not just for my dick size”

Wren: "Not to shit on her sexuality and stuff, but what's with the dick obsession? And voicing it that much? Like if I tweeted about boobs like that, I would be absolutely cancelled" said Wren.

Jesse: “I heard she made out with that blond girl, Kelly’s sister. Maybe she’s gay.AND and. During spin the bottle she made out with Riley.”

Stevie: Stevie tried holding in her laugh when she read his response saying he was hard. Men. So weak. "So uh, did you ever tell Olivia about these?" she asked with raised brows.

Jesse: “I told her” he said simply. He didn’t want to say that he kissed her but they probably knew since devyn also tweeted that he was a cheater. “Told her how she was all over me and begging. Also told Jonah that but I’d love to hear how she is twisting that around even when she asked me to go back to her house with her.”

Wren: "So someone needs to tell Jonah" said Wren, kinda worried about him, "He shoulda just stayed with my sister"

Stevie: Stevie let out a sigh, "This shit is such a mess." she said as if she wasn't dealing with her own mess with girls. "Yeah like soon." she agreed. "How is she by the way?" she asked Wren.

Jesse: “Well it won’t be me. I don’t want him to think I’m doing it out of jealousy or some shit. But I also don’t want to see him hurt but like... I don’t want to give him another reason to hate me and is not talk again,”

Wren: "She's vulnerable and will hurt anyone" said Wren, "so don't try anything. Just talk to your little internet girlfriend"

Jesse: Jesse gave wren a look before pulling up rorys Instagram which presented into the tv.

Stevie: Stevie looked over at Wren with wide eyes before hitting his arm, "I wasn't going to try anything, and she's not my girlfriend."

Wren: "Guys, we're twins. Can we not do this?" said Wren with an exaggerated sigh.

Jesse: “Oh don’t worry. We are going to your page next.” He said before switching to wrens.  “Devyn was right. You are hot.” He said playfully

Stevie: "Sooo hot." Stevie nodded her head and winked at Wren.

Wren: "I haven't managed to post enough to get the pictures of Chanel down on my page" said Wren, "or Valerie" he said realizing he should have probably said that first.

Jesse: “That’s what the delete button is for” he said pointing out. “Or the acrhive feature so it doesn’t delete them but they are hidden”

Stevie: "His heart couldn't handle deleting them." Stevie said, nudging Wren.

Wren: "I like the pictures, it's just ... they don't need to be at the top of my feed" said the boy, "haha very funny Steve"

Stevie: "They do look good in these pictures." Stevie looked through the pictures he had with the girls. "We can do like a whole photoshoot and get some sweet pics. It'll be fun. My parents have one nice ass camera we can use."

Jesse: "We can take some thirst traps and put them all up. Some snazzy captions abou how we are not all losers." Jesse pointed out as well

Wren: "Turtlenecks?" said Wren half joking, his sister had put him in one and he rather liked it. He'd never lived anywhere cold before, and he knew Stevie always commented on them.

Jesse: "I should invest in some turtle necks, i think people are tired of seeing me in plain long sleeves." He said playfully, thats really all he wore. "Are they really comfortable?"

Stevie: "Ah you know I just love the turtlenecks." Stevie teased her friend. "I think they are. We can all wear one and have one festive ass photoshoot. I'll make some corny family Christmas cards with the pictures. It'll be great." she said jokingly.

Wren: “Sounds like a plan to me” said Wren putting in a game. “But enough of that, let’s blow off some steam, boys and Steve” he said tossing each of them a controller.

[bakingbad2020]

Failing at Chocolate Chip Cookies

I am bad at baking things.

Let’s iron something out. I am not a baker. I am a scientist. My hobbies include drawing, painting, and yelling at a sewing machine (more commonly known as sewing). Baking is not on the list. I don’t bake. That’s little sister’s job. She’s baked cakes, cookies, brownies, the works. She’s even made macarons. Yeah, the little French things. It’s all hella good. She wants to be a baker when she grows up, and coming from a family of scientists and engineers, how could we disagree?

So what am I doing here? Quarantine happened and mother gave me a jar of sourdough starter. One thing led to another and I gave into peer pressure. For clarity, this is not my first attempt at baking, but it was bad enough that I decided to make a blog about it, and everyone I asked told me to do it. So what was I supposed to do, really? I had to make a blog.

Three little words. Chocolate Chip Cookies. Those words alone make almost anyone’s mouth water. I’ve been craving them for like, three weeks, ever since a professor brought up cookies in Soil’s class (We were talking about clays. Yes it makes sense). So I found a recipe, off that little dinner spinner app by AllRecipes, by someone who goes by Dora. It has 4 and 1/2 stars out of 5, and that’s after 12848 reviews. Seriously, it can’t be bad right? The recipe runs as follows:

BEST CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES

1 cup butter, sofened

1 cup white sugar

1 cup packed brown sugar

2 eggs

2 teaspoons vanilla extract (okay, I put like a tablespoon)

1 teaspoon baking soda

2 teaspoons hot water

1/2 teaspoon salt

3 cups all-purpose flour

2 cups semisweet chocolate chips

DIRECTIONS

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F

Cream together butter, white sugar, and brown sugar until smooth. Beat in the eggs one at a time, then stir in vanilla. Add baking soda and salt. Stir in flour and chocolate chips. Drop by large spoonfuls onto pans.

Bake for about 10 minutes in the oven, or until edges are nicely browned.

I did that. Sure I left out the nuts, and added a little (okay a lot) more vanilla. But I followed the recipe. And yeah, well...

The batter was dry. It’s probably my fault because I honestly don’t think about how to put flour into the measuring cups, so it was kinda packed in. It was dryyyyyyy. But I thought maybe it was okay so I baked them anyway.

Actually, they don’t look so bad in that picture. But trust me. They’re hard. Not hard to make, but physically hard, like chocolate chip cement. No, it does not help that I burned them somewhat. I messed up chocolate chip cookies. It’s kind of incredible. Fortunately, I had enough wits about me to think that maybe I shouldn’t plop all the batter down at once and to only make one pan of cookies. I had a bit left over, so I panic-texted little sister:

It certainly moistened the batter a bit, so I went for round 2. The result:

Not too bad, but a bit small. All of the confidence I had at the beginning was deflated, leaving nothing but tiny cookies. I have yet to taste them. I do have batter left rolled up into a log and chillin in the fridge. At least I have another shot.

Of course I had to update little sister on the situation:

You gotta love how supportive family is.

Update: I broke my fast this morning at 7:45 with, that’s right, you guessed it, the cookies. I woke up thinking about them and I figured, if nothing else, I should at least see how bad they were with the hopes of learning from my mistakes. That’s what a good scientist would do, after all. So I got up, showered, and managed to make my way down the stairs without tripping over either of the cats to THE COOKIES.

I tried round 2 first, and I have to say, they’re really not that bad. They are very cakey, but that also seemed to be the point of the initial recipe. I mean, it may have also had something to do with the fact that I put too much flour, but that’s also beside the point. The thing about these cookies that stood out to me was the batter to chocolate chip ratio. For me, the point of the batter is to cement the chocolate chips together, the way a sandstone might cement a conglomerate together. That’s what these did. The chocolate to cookie ratio was perfect. For a cookie that was maybe and inch and a half to two inches in diameter, there were probably 30 chocolate chips. Okay, I exaggerate. Probably like 15, though. It was a mouthful of chocolate chips glued together by sugar paste. Perfect.

After tasting round two, I of course had to give round 1 a shot. I made myself a cup of coffee and afterwards sat down to taste the little monstrosities. Alone, these cookies are hard as rocks. The chocolate chips towards the bottom are rather chard, and honestly more like chocolate flavored charcoal. But after dunking them in the coffee, they softened up immensely and actually tasted good. At least they won’t go to waste now.

So lesson learned. Next time I need to lovingly spoon the flour into the measuring cup before carefully leveling it off with a knife, a process which seems dreadfully monotonous to me. This is why I can never bake French things.

On side note, I made a real breakfast this morning and managed to burn both the bacon and the toast. That’s right. I’m amazing.

[7team7]

SasuSaku Month Day 7: One of These Nights

Title: Sasuke and Sakura’s Night Out! // Rating: M (drugs, language) // Summary: Sakura and Sakura don’t get out much, but just one night is enough to make up for a lifetime of staying in. Very much inspired by my love for both the movie booksmart and those memes where it’s like aren’t you tired of being nice? Don’t you want to just go absolutely fucking feral? Yeah, nerd SasuSaku going feral basically // ao3 link 

A/N: something to make up for yesterday’s angst, this was a ton of fun to write!! Also why do i keep writing things i dont know about?? Idk anything about the good old mary jane or drugs in general lol but just go with it this isn’t really supposed to make sense Disclaimer: I don’t own Naruto, Booksmart, or anything mentioned in this story. I’m just a wee speck of dust in the universe

----

“One of these nights we should do something actually fun.”

“Since when did watching movies with me stop being fun? Did you want a snack or something? I saw that post you tagged me in this morning, I guess we can build a blanket fort on the trampoline, but you can’t complain about it being cold.”

Sakura sat up from where she was lounging on Sasuke’s bed, staring at the wall. “Now that you mention it, I could go for some boba. Or an edible.”

Sasuke, sitting in his bean bag, stared at Sakura in disbelief, “do you even know what’s in those?”

Sakura straightened up even more and looked down haughtily, “of course I do. Naruto told me a long time ago. And doesn’t a brownie sound so good right now?”

“Sakura, you got drunk off a few sips of your Aunt Tsunade’s rice wine and you’re telling me you want to get high? We’re about to go to college and you want to fry your brain?”  

“We’re about to go to college and we’ve never done anything. Do you know how lame that is?”

Sasuke seemed to contemplate Sakura’s words for a moment before giving her a wolfish grin, sounding every bit the teenage boy he was, “that’s not true. We’ve done stuff. We’ve had sex. Lots of it.”

One of Sasuke’s pillows sailed across the room towards his face, accompanied by a screech, “I knew it, I knew you’d say something dumb! What does it matter when you’re already a stupid boy with no brain. Those ads are totally false, by the way. What’s the harm in trying weed, Sasuke? I wanna try, so you should do it with me.”

Despite being the captain of the speech and debate team, he couldn’t find anything to argue about. He texted Naruto; at least he could trust their “plug” or whatever he’s called by half the school.

Except, they actually couldn’t because he was somehow all out and directed them to Kiba instead.

“Seriously? We’ve known Naruto, like, forever? And he lets us down now? Kiba is smelly and weird. His weed probably...smells like weed.”

Sakura doesn’t let up, “just text Kiba, he’s not that bad. Don’t be lame.”

“What should I even say? Leaf emoji? Side eye emoji? Plug emoji? Is he going to give us a friends and family discount?”

“Sasuke, I know you love using color coordinated spreadsheets to organize your life, but now is not the time. Mention my name. Maybe he’ll give us a hot girl discount.”

“I just sent him ‘weed’ with a question mark. Oh, he already responded. He said come over right now and he’ll ‘give us the hook up.’ Sakura, does that mean he wants us to have a threesome with us?” Sasuke asked with false, exaggerated concern.

That earned Sasuke another pillow thrown at his face (this time it’s his favorite dinosaur plushie) before Sakura gets to her feet and announces with a rather dramatic clenched fist, “get in the car, we’re going to Kiba’s.”

----

“Yooo, Sasuke! Woah! And Sakura? The Kiba Hut is going to have a blessed night if these two legends are here! Come on in guys, we’re having a kickback.”

As Kiba opened the door wider to let them in, a haze of smoke wafted out and the smell hit them like a wall. They had definitely come to the right place.

They saw Kiba’s usual crew, Hinata and Shino, sitting on the couch looking very blissed out already, along with a number of other kids from their school. Sakura checked her phone, isn’t it like 9 pm? Is this late or early for this kind of stuff?

“My guy Naruto told me you’re here for some famous Kiba Hut edibles, and like, welcome to the bake sale, but I’m telling you man, you gotta try the newest from Shino. Shit’s dank, bro.”

The couple turned away from Kiba to look at Shino sitting there with his sunglasses still on despite being indoors. He raised a single hand in greeting, then gestured to a plate of brownies plus something less familiar in front of him. “The new goods or pot?”

Sasuke looked disturbed by the sight and was about to say “neither” before Sakura elbowed him sharply in the side, “we’ll take both!” she cut in with a big smile.

“Adventurous! I fucking love it! Man, you kids are too cute, I’ll give it to you real cheap. You got Venmo?” Kiba pulled his phone out to start the transaction.  

Sakura glanced around, they had never been to Kiba’s house before, so this was a new experience all around. She spotted a bowl of water by the kitchen, “uh, can dogs get high?”

Kiba laughed, “you’re probably wondering where Akamaru is! He’s chillin’ in the backyard. He’s cool with it though, he’s a total bro. He’s got hella treats out there, we’ve got hella treats in here. Equality, you feel?”

“For sure, for sure. I’ll just approve the charge now and we’ll be on our way!”

“Not so fast you two! Here at the Kiba Hut, we support tripping out in a safe environment, so you should take Shino’s new-new here.”

Sasuke and Sakura exchange glances. What did they have to lose?

----

Well, for starters, their grasp on reality.

They sat at Kiba’s kitchen table to take what Shino gave them and saved the edibles for later. And it was like nothing they had ever experienced.

“Sasuke. Your eyes are really red. Like not just the whites but your uh, pupil or whatever is the colored part.”

Sasuke rubbed at his eyes, “no they’re not. I can see them. So I know they’re not red.”

“Uhh, okay? They totally are though. And..did your head get bigger?”

“No but yours did. Ha, if only Ino was here. Hey, forehead. Wait—what the fuck, when did we get so small?”

“Oh my god, you’re so cute. You’re so short, Sasuke, you’re so small!”

*A/N: please imagine them as the SD versions of themselves*

Sakura started scooting forward on her chair. “What do we do now? How do we get down? We’re so small. We can’t stay here. What the fuck is going on? What did they give us?”

“It’s so hot in here. What did Kiba say about getting ready to hot box? What does that mean, like sweaty boxing? Where’s our water?” Sasuke looked up to their glasses of water on the table, which seemed miles away in their shrunken state.

“There’s no way we can reach up there. My head feels too heavy for my body, I’ll fall over if we try to jump.”

“Shit. Shit, okay, take your jacket off, first of all, am I the only one melting? Are the walls melting? Just throw it on the ground and to make a cushion. I’ll throw mine down on top and we can jump down.”

“Are you insane? What if we die?”

Sasuke gave Sakura a judgemental look, “we might as well be, I’m so fucking high! Just jump, I’m sure it won’t be that bad. Plus, I’ll go first and I’ll catch you,” he finished with a wink. He threw his jacket down on the floor with a pointed expression. A burgundy cardigan soon followed. And Sasuke jumped.

A voice sounded from below, “it worked! I made it! Jump now!”

Somehow Sasuke’s now doll proportion arms caught Sakura despite her now huge head. He set her down and started looking for the exit. There was no way they could push the kitchen door open, and he didn’t even want to see Kiba at the moment. It was so hot in the kitchen, he just wanted to get out of there.

“Sasuke! There!” Sakura pointed across the kitchen to the backyard. The doggy door.

“Fucking score! Let’s go.”

He grabbed her hand and they scurried across the tile as fast as their little legs could take them. But they needed to climb up a small threshold to get through the door, and the run combined with the heat of the kitchen had really drained them. They exchanged a look. Desperate times called for desperate measures. Akamaru’s dog bowl was full of water.

“Give me a boost!” Sakura told Sasuke as they faced the metal bowl. The way the metal warped their reflection made her feel even more tripped out, if that was possible. She just needed water now.

Sakura climbed up onto Sasuke’s clasped hands, grabbing onto the edge of the bowl. She held herself up on the edge and dipped her head to take a cool, refreshing drink.

Except her mouth encountered strands of white dog hair floating all around the water. She nearly toppled backwards as she tried to spit it all out, “ew, ew! Disgusting!”

Sasuke lowered her and asked as if it wasn’t already apparent, “so I’m guessing I shouldn’t drink the dog water?” She shook her head, “let’s just go outside.”

They walked to Kiba’s lawn and collapsed. It seemed like the sprinklers had just finished their cycle, so the cool, wet grass was a welcome change from the stuffy kitchen. “Sorry for dragging you here. I didn’t think it would be like this,” Sakura spoke quietly. Sasuke was a bit of a homebody to say the least, so when he didn’t have a good time during their outings, she always felt guilty for pushing him too far for comfort.

But he didn’t care as much as she always thought he did, he just enjoyed spending time with his girlfriend. They would both cherish these memories in the future since they were attending separate colleges. “It wasn’t that bad. Makes for a good story, I guess.”

Except the night wasn’t over, because a deep growl sounded from the shadowy corner of the yard.

Sakura bolted up, “Akamaru?!” before Sasuke dragged her back down, “are you trying to get us eaten? Keep quiet and just run!” Sasuke pointed to the side gate and without another word, they made a break for it. They didn’t bother locking the gate up again, too intent on getting the fuck out of there.

Sasuke took one look at his car and said, “nope. I’m not getting in that thing. We’re still coming down and it’s not safe. What if I get a DUI? What if we die? My dad would kill me either way.” Sakura nodded along as they started walking down the street, not another soul in sight.

Konoha wasn’t a huge town, despite never visiting Kiba’s house before, they could easily make their way back. “Hey, the park isn’t that far away. We could go sober up there then come back for your car?”

----

It seemed like whatever Shino gave them had mostly worn off during their walk and their stone bench looked more inviting than ever. They had shared countless moments there, from their first kiss, to their first “I love you”. They even opened their college acceptance letters there. Sakura swung her legs back and forth on the bench, “You know, I still have the edible in my bag. Should we?”

Sasuke ran a hand through his midnight hair, “Jesus fuck, alright. We’ve gotten this far and I know you wanted to try it. We can split it.”  

They had been sitting and talking for quite some time when Sakura started giggling more and feeling some type of way. “Woah. Is this why half our classmates came to school high everyday? What have we been missing?”

Sasuke’s eyes were half lidded as he slouched on the bench, “maybe Naruto is actually onto something. We should call him. Haha. Naruto. What a loser.”

Sakura started patting around her pockets to call their friend, “Sasuke. I think I left my phone in my cardigan pocket, which we left on the kitchen floor. Fuck, I’m so stupid,” but she was still laughing a little and Sasuke just shrugged. “It be like that. I left mine too. We can get them later and we can call Naruto later. Life is so chill.”

Sakura smiled, “exactly, it really do be like that. And life is so chill. Like woah. Are you hungry by the way?” Sasuke perked up a bit and nodded, “starving. Ichirauku is just around the corner.”

----

Sitting in the vinyl Ichiraku booth waiting for their cheeseburgers, Sakura was relieved to be somewhere she’s familiar with. But then she spotted a face she’s very familiar with after years of sleepovers and flower shop visits: Ino’s dad. She ducked down started tapping her palm the table, “Sasuke, don’t look, don’t look, it’s Ino’s dad. This is terrible, he’s like a fucking mind reader or something he’s totally gonna know we’re high.”

“Can you stop, he’ll look this way if you keep making noise. Just be chill or something.” He couldn’t help but steal a glance over his shoulder to confirm if it really was Inoichi. “Holy shit, wait. Is that Shikamaru’s dad?”

Sakura craned her neck to see over Sasuke’s head, “it totally is! And they’re with Chouji’s dad too! This is crazy. If they see us they’re gonna tell my mom. And then I’ll be on permanent house arrest.” She sank lower into her chair until her pink head rested on the table.

Sasuke placed his chin on his folded hands. He had endured enough shenanigans for one night, it was time to just wait this one out. Once he got his cheeseburger with extra tomatoes he was ready to go home and knock out.

Except Chouza’s laugh carried across the diner, and so did his booming voice, “just like the old days, right guys? We still get the munchies!”

Sakura perked back up when she heard this, “did he just say the munchies? Oh my god, Sasuke they’re high. They probably smoked weed and now they’re here because they have the munchies. Just like you and me. This night is too fucking weird.”

Thankfully as the trio of dads was about to walk out with their food to-go, the waitress arrived with their order and blocked them from view. The pair ate in relative silence, glad for a moment of calm. But it didn’t last because not long after the dads left, another familiar figure walked in.

“Sakura, you’ll never fucking believe it. Actually just look, it’s Kakashi.”

She whipped around to see that it really was none other than their favorite literature teacher. She waved him over without thinking twice and Sasuke kicked her under the table. “What are you thinking,” he grits out. Kakashi was cool, hell, cool enough to let everyone call him by his first name, but he was still their teacher. An adult who worked for their school. Someone who could totally get them in trouble. Like, worse than detention, and they’d never even had detention.

“If it isn’t my favorite students,” Kakashi smiled as if seeing them outside of school was a perfectly normal occurrence. “What are you doing here?” Sakura questioned innocently, as if it wasn’t well into the night and she didn’t reek of weed.  

“Picking up some food,” he answered matter-of-factly. “I could ask the same of you two, you’re normally home studying at this time of night, am I wrong?” Nope, he was 100% correct.

Sasuke chose his words carefully, “tonight has been an anomaly. But I am ready for bed now.” Kakashi nodded, “I see. You look like you’re done eating, so it won’t be long now. Drive carefully.”

The students exchanged a look before Sasuke swallowed his pride and started to beg as best as he knew how, “please, can you drive us home, we walked here from somewhere else and I don’t feel comfortable operating a motor vehicle in my currention condition, if you know what I mean.” Kakashi considered the two of them. They were certainly acting strange. Was Sakura trying to wink at him or was that a nervous twitch?

His eyes crinkled, “one ride won’t hurt, it’s late and what kind of teacher would I be if I left my students out to fend for themselves? I’ll just pick up my order and we can leave.”

----

They got situated in the car, just to find their former elementary school teacher Iruka sitting in the passenger seat. Sakura’s jaw dropped as she looks between Kakashi and Iruka. “You,” she points to the gray haired man, “and you?” she points to the ponytailed man. “Huh,” added Sasuke, “I thought Iruka hated tardiness, but Kakashi is late to class everyday.”

“Honey,” Iruka laughed nervously, “did you not tell your students about us? You always call them your precious students, I mean, I thought you’d tell at least these kids and Naruto.”

“Yeah,” jeered Sakura from the back seat, “what other secrets are you hiding Kakashi?”

“Sakura, shut up, shut up, Naruto texted me to come over now. He has something really cool to show us—or so he says. I wanna see, plus he owes us for sending us to Kiba’s. Kakashi take us to Naruto’s instead.”

Kakashi sighed, “I’ve seen some shit being a teacher, but I never thought I’d become a chauffeur for my students. But alright.” He made a U-turn and headed to Naruto’s. He had been there plenty of times, seeing as Minato was the school principal and something of a mentor to Kakashi.

----

After a car ride filled with the Mamma Mia soundtrack (Iruka claimed it was neutral territory, everyone loves it), they finally got dropped off at Naruto’s. They knocked on the door, ready for whatever surprise Naruto had to show them. When he flung the door open, they had never seen their friend so excited. His blue eyes were sparkling, “hurry! My room!” and he scurried into the house before they could even take their shoes off.

Naruto’s room was already quite a sight to behold considering the orange color scheme and ramen cups littering his desk, but his new orange quilt wasn’t what had Sakura screaming. “Why the fuck do you have a fox? Is that legal? Where did you get that thing?”

The blonde sniffed, “excuse me, ‘that thing’ has a name. Say hi to Kurama. Isn’t he a cutie?” Sasuke crossed his arms. Yup, their best friend had lost his mind. Even the fox’s collar and ID tag were orange. “And just what do you plan on doing with a fox, idiot?”

Naruto considered this for a moment, “I dunno. Didn’t think that far. I got it from this guy I know. Do you think Suna State allows pets in the freshman dorms?” Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose. Hopeless, he was really hopeless. And then he remembered how Naruto had let them down earlier, but he didn’t think it was because he had acquired a new pet. “What was that all about earlier? How do you not have weed?”

“Oh yeah! I have something else to show you! It’ll explain everything. Come into the basement. Say bye to Kurama first.” Sakura half-heartedly waved at the rather grumpy looking fox in his cage before they followed Naruto down below.

----

There was no way the universe wasn’t fucking with them. “Sai? Why the hell are you in Naruto’s basement?”

“So rude, Saucey-k! He’s my guest, you’re a pest! And he’s painting, duh.” Their very strange and very pale friend was sitting in front of a giant canvas that nearly stretched the entire span of the wall. He was adding details to what looked like a picture of Naruto in a loincloth. He was lounging on his side, eating grapes with one hand, and petting a fox with the other.

“Yeah no shit, I can see that,” Sasuke quipped, “but why?” Naruto huffed at him again, like it was obvious, “he needs money for his college tuition, so I commissioned him to paint me and Kurama. I’m looking pretty sexy, right?” Sakura didn’t bother answering him, “how does this ‘explain everything’, though?”

Naruto snapped two finger guns at them, “oh, right! Sai is an artist. And he does his best work when he’s high. He obviously needed a lot of weed to complete this masterpiece, so I gave him all my weed. It’s like, paying it forward or something.” If at all possible, Sasuke was even more irritated than before. He couldn’t spare a gram for his lifelong best friends, but he could give it all to this guy? Traitor.

“Well, now that you’ve seen it, we should leave Sai to work in peace. Looks amazing, cutie! Kurama, we’re coming back up, did you miss me already?”

---

“Wanna pet him? He’s only bit me six times in the last hour, I think he really likes my vibe or something.” Before either of them could protest, Naruto started opening the cage. “Kurama, come here, come here. Who’s a good boy? Who wants to get pet?” His arms made a circle for Kurama to settle into when the fox started stalking towards the cage door. He pounced through the gap in Naruto’s arms and hit the ground running.

“Kurama, wait! We were just becoming such good friends! Come back here!” The trio immediately chased after the animal, but he was too fast and he escaped out of their doggy door and into the night. They rushed into the backyard just in time to see Kurama leap over the fence and out of the Uzumaki property.

They all plopped down onto the grass and Naruto started wailing, “he’s gone! What did I do wrong? Please, you guys we have to find him!” They definitely weren’t high anymore, they were too tired for this, but they weren’t shitty friends, so they agreed to go look for him.

----

They had even enlisted Sai to help them out. As they walked around Naruto’s neighborhood calling for Kurama, Naruto’s phone started ringing, “do you think Kurama is calling? He wants to come home!” He started excitedly fishing his phone out of his front pocket, “Kiba? Why would he be calling now?” Sasuke and Sakura settled on the sidewalk, expecting some weird conversation between dealers.

“You found him? Holy shit man! Yeah, yeah, I’ll be there soon! Thanks bro!” he hung up the phone and faced his friends, “Kiba found Kurama! Let’s go, we have to go now before Kurama starts missing me too much!”

And they were headed back to the place where the night had begun.

----

Thankfully Kiba only lived a few blocks away because Sakura’s feet were dragging with exhaustion. They were standing in Kiba’s backyard and she leaned against Sasuke’s shoulder as they listened to the explanation. The back gate was mysteriously left open, and Akamaru wandered out into the front yard. He was having a relaxing evening chewing a bone on the front lawn when a fox appeared. It seemed that the fox smelled Akamaru’s treat bank in the back and wanted a taste for himself. When Akamaru started barking like mad, very peeved that some other animal was trying to get at his precious treats, Kiba went outside to see what was going on. He just thought he was hallucinating since he was super high, but it was really a fox.

“And then I saw he had a tag and it had your name and number!” Kiba finished. Naruto had tears in his eyes, “that’s amazing. Kurama probably smelled Akamaru and just wanted a friend. Friendship is so powerful!” He was hand feeding Kurama treats, who looked much more complacent now that he was being fed.

They all made their way back into the house just as Kiba’s kickback was winding down. Sai disappeared into the kitchen for a while, returning with a cardigan and a jacket. “Ugly, this is a terrible color I’ve only ever seen you wear. And your boyfriend is basically attached to you, so I’m assuming this is his.” Sakura reached out to grab them from his hands before settling back on the couch.

“Thanks again, Kiba. I’m gonna take Kurama home now,” Naruto turned to face Sasuke and Sakura. “You two live in the opposite direction. Are you gonna walk?”

“I can drive.” The whole group looked to the front of the room where the voice came from. “Shino?” asked Sakura, “I didn’t even realize you were still here. And aren’t you high?”

“I’m the supplier and the designated driver.” When he offer any further explanation, Sasuke and Sakura shrugged and got up from the couch. Sasuke could get his car tomorrow. A free ride back to his comfy bed sounded wonderful.

----

Sakura had fallen asleep almost immediately when she got back to her own room, not even bothering to change her outfit. It had to be well into the afternoon when she finally woke up. Her head felt fuzzy and her mouth was dry. Was last night even real?

She grabbed her phone out of her cardigan pocket just to find that it was dead. But her pocket also held a napkin, “what is this? I don’t remember putting this in here?”

She unfolded the white napkin to see one of Sai’s signature ink drawings. It depicted Sakura, drawn in red pen, leaning against Sasuke, drawn in blue pen. He even added a bit of background—it looked like the grass and fence of Kiba’s backyard. He must’ve drawn it when he went into the kitchen. Sakura plugged her phone in and flopped back down onto her bed. She stared at the little drawing, wishing she was with Sasuke right now.

So last night was real.

----

A/N: this isnt meant to make nerds feel bad about staying at home. im writing fanfic so i am the nerd at home

[mechanicalriddle]

EXALTED SECRET SANTA ENTRIES

(@shiftingpath heres my entry)

its that time of year!! im excited to be participating in this for the first time. I have… TWO BOYS, whomst i love very much, and would love to see illustrated.

My first boy is BROKEN STAR DOOMED TO FALL, he is a DAY CASTE and he has WINGS so if you don’t like drawing a metric fuckton of feathers I might recommend the other option (also body horror warning from here on out.) He is pretty short (5’5”) with a skinny, compact sort of build. His hair is roughly chin-length and dark purple, swept behind his ears. Skin is medium-toned but pallid and lifeless, and marred by dozens of scars (he’s definitely youthful, but appearance 1 is doing him no favors.) He has a pair of dark wings covered in what appears to be feathers to the inattentive observer, but are, in fact, thousands of thin soulsteel blades. They are attached at the back to an artifact “nexus” that has subsumed parts of his innerworkings with a soulsteel pseudoskeleton, in places emerging as spiky protrusions. Most of his face has a metal death mask permanently affixed to it, covering his eyes and forehead and coming to a point where his nose would normally be, giving him kind of an owl-y look. His eyes are dark voids with small points of red light in place of pupils/irises.

For now, he is outfitted by his Deathlord, the Bodhisattva. Practical but refined, he prefers blacks, blues, purples and silvers, and brocade, you’re welcome to go with his standard outfit or play around with it! For actual styles, think… Dishonored series, I guess? (he is an assassin, after all) Do keep in mind he has wings and clothes need to be designed special to accommodate them (he doesn’t really do sleeves for instance) and is typically wearing some sort of cloak that he can hide them under. Star is having sort of a rough time in-game presently but his personality is fairly friendly, cheerful and excitable, which is practically unsightly for a Deathknight. When he’s not busy angsting over his Dark Fate he’s usually got a doofy (and very toothy) grin on his face.

Best ref is located here. There’s also this really neato commission I got of him from @ flatw00ds here on tumblr, particularly fond of how they drew the feather-knives.  Here’s his tag, which has some assorted doodles and other materials in there, and a general aesthetic tag.

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This next guy is a touch more straightforward! Ledaal Tedeo is, as the name implies, an ex-Dynast, having bailed on his life in the realm after exalting as a Twilight Caste. He’s (about) 22 years old, rather tall (6’2”) and pretty chubby. Has brown skin & short dark brown hair that whisps and curls unnaturally in places (I tend to exaggerate this in my drawings), along with pale blue eyes, thanks to his pedigreed air aspect lineage. Tends to look exhausted, with dark circles under his eyes.

Ted likes high fashion but appreciates a certain elegance in function… and anonymity as well, what with the Realm out to get him. He likes long, flowing things, silk, embroidery, and expensive outfits. Or a more practical travelling outfit, depending on what you wanna go for in your drawing. Colors… Prefers bright, striking, and most importantly coordinating colors (blue being his favorite, but he likes variety!) and accents with white, brown & gold. He wields a katana in his house colors of silver and blue and wears a leather gauntlet over his left hand/wrist at all times.

Usually likes chillin’ at his workbench with a cup of tea in his hand, surrounded by notes on his latest Sorcerous Working/Artifice project, though he’s currently out rooting around in first-age tombs, roughing it in the woods, and hitting things with his sword! Normally he and his circle can be found squatting in the zenith’s sidereal sifu’s manse. He’s sort of a selfish, ill-tempered, stuck up jerk, though very industrious, often to his own detriment!

This ref should be everything you need. Theres additional stuff floating around in this tag, and then general aesthetic tag is here. 

(additional note, if you’re gonna draw ted please draw him chunky!! the chunkier the better; please do not skinny-ify him. thank u!!)

[itsthisgirlfanfic]

Chapter 4

Stephanie

Two weeks later

“I think that’s the last one”, I said to Lucas, hanging up another cheetah print Golf Wang Tee. A new stock of tees came in today and we’ve been organizing them all morning.

“Good shit.” Lucas sighed and got up.

I chuckled then went to the front of the store and sat down on the well-used green couch. Sudden satisfaction, because I was on my feet all day. I pulled my phone out and it alerted that I had 5 missed calls, 3 messages. All from Aaron. I really was tired of him but I guess because he texted me so much I might as well check them.

1:Baby answer my calls.

2:It’s important.

3:Fine, dont answer…but me and Yara is coming to Cali. I got a gig out there.

When I read the last one, I immediatly got excited. My best friend is coming! I texted back:

Cool, but I’m only excited that Yara is coming…and you probably suck at rapping…

Then I texted Yara:

Why the hell you did'nt tell me you were coming hoe!?

After .5 seconds someone replied..it was Aaron:

Feisty baby, wait until you see me.

I rolled my eyes. This dude really thinks he can just roll up to Cali, without me knowing what his lying ass is doing. Then there was another vibration.

It was supposed to be a surprise!

Yara responded.

I chuckled to myself just thinking about it. As soon as I got up…

“OH SHIT!”

I turned around and just in time jumped out the way, barely missing getting hit by Taco and Jasper speeding on there skateboards into the store.

“WHAT. THE. FUCK!”, I screamed, my face red. I thought I was about to die the speed they were going. My second time about to get hit by some nigga on a skateboard. They ran right into a rack of T-shirts, knocking them all down. Dang and all the time we spent on them shits. Taco and Jasper were laughing hysterically. Then I heard Lucas’s faint laugh right with them. These niggas are crazy, I thought. Just then Tyler ran in with a bunch of other niggas laughing.

“These niggas is crazy! These niggas is crazy!”, he kept repeating, his hand on his face.

There was like complete chaos in the store, because all these dudes were in there. Music started blasting out of no where from the speakers.

Waka Flocka…wait no..some nigga named Chief Keef.

“THAT’s THAT SHIT I DONT LIKE!”

Literally the place got so packed I was being pushed from them jumping up and down.

A few minutes passed and if was still going on. Oh no, I need to get out of here. I pushed my way thru, and spotted Lucas with Left Brain and Hodgy, looking at the new boards that also came in. I hurried toward them.

“Hey Stephanie-”, Left said

“I’m taking a break!”, I had to yell to all of them.

“Dang you look like you got your nipples twisted.”, Hodgy said laughing.

“Fuck off!”, I said trying not to laugh with him.

Then I sighed. “Oh sorry Left..heyy”, I said, brushing a curly strand away from my face.

He nodded and winked.

“You can just go home if you want, after your break, because all these dudes.”, Lucas said.

“Ok thanks”, I smiled. Then out of nowhere Lego came and snapped my pic. “What the?”, I asked. He shrugged then walked away.

I manage to get myself out the sweat filled, enclosed, no female should be in store, jumping over a bunch of bikes and skateboards, and took a deep breathe. I looked down the strip to see various stores, and my eyes landed right on the Starbucks sign down the street. I needed coffee…now.

I started walking, still in somewhat awe of the people in Cali. Some who walked down the street with 5 inch stilettos and high priced designer bags, along with the occasional stoner who freely smoked his “medical” weed. That’s when I heard a “Wait up!” in the distance behind me. I turned around and found Tyler. Staring back at me with this grin.

“Why the fuck you leave?”, he asked still grinning as if he was about to laugh.

I gave him a emotionless look, then turned back around. But what do u know…he still followed. I really needed alone time and he was being annoying.

“Tyler, I appreciate us being neighbors and shit, and the job is really cool, but I really need some alone time.”, I glared at him, hoping my green eyes pierced his soul. But he didn’t budge.

“So do I.”, he said then opened the door to Starbucks waiting for me to walk inside.

I was definitely taken aback. He’s so…weird.

Tyler

I don’t know what the fuck I was doing. I am not bout this life. But I went out there anyway. Mostly because I still wanted to see her face, and she had to go and leave the store. She walked into the Starbucks and I followed right behind her.

Awesome, I thought. The shit was nearly empty.

“Can I have a Vanilla iced coffee, really sweet.”, she said in her fucking gorgeous mouth.

Yo she really needs to stop. She then looked at me, assuming I was gonna order something. I really wanted a milkshake or some shit. But it’s whatever.

“Do you guys still have the rice crispy shits?”, I asked, I noticed Stephanie chuckled.

“Yes sir, would you like one?”, the clerk said. Dumb Nigga.

“No I want the new Trick Daddy Cd.”, I said sarcastically.

“Oh…well we don’t sell that here.” Stephanie started laughing.

This cool, chill laugh I can’t even explain. It was hot.

“I want a rice crispies treat, I don’t care if I have diabetes nigga, I still get bitches!”, I type screamed.

The clerk then hurried and got me the rice crispie thing. I smiled and said thank you in a gay ass voice, and then paid for it. Stephanie was still laughing.

“I don’t understand what’s so funny.”, I said seriously.

“You!”, she said still laughing.

“Is it because I’m beautiful?”, I said then smiled a lil kid type smile and blinked my eyes.

She still laughed. “Yes it’s because your beautiful.”, she said still giggling the taking a sip of coffee.

Then she looked at me all serious.

“On the real though, why did you follow me here?”, she asked keenly.

I follow you everywhere, I caught myself from saying. Ok I exaggerated. But this bitch stays on my mind and I don’t even know her that well.

“I don’t know…you looked cool.”, I said. She giggled some more.

“You are very odd Tyler,” she said then smiled. The sun shining in her eyes, making her eyes glisten. The table we sat in was right next to the window, and it was going on 6 pm. Perfect sun set.

“I try”, I said, squinting toward the sun, then bit on my rice crispie. I then looked at her and noticed her outfit. A white Tron Cat shirt, black jeans and her red vans. Her hair down with black Ray bans chillin right with her curls. Fuck.

“Uhh, You look nice in my shirt”, I said.

She then looked down…blushing. She’s like a baby. Like she tries to be hard, put on a front, but in the inside is that real girl. Eww did I just think some gay shit like that?

I started laughing.

“What’s so funny?”, she said.

I shook my head. I had to say it.

“Because you come off as being all bad ass, but inside your like fucking cake.”

“What!?”, she said laughing with a confused face.

“No seriously. Like your parents probably wake you up every morning, like "Stephanie Breakfast is ready!, and they like give you money every week, for fucking walking the dog or something”.

All of a sudden her expression changed.

Fuck, Tyler you really messed up now.

She gave a grim laugh.

“I wish.”, she said lowly, then took another sip.

I knew there was more shit to it, I was too curious.

“Well, shit, I wish I had that too.”, I admitted.

“What your life isn’t like that? Mr. Tyler, the Creator, who owns his own fucking store.”, she said, her voice different, like she was mad.

She must have been through some shit. I don’t know why I thought this, but I think it had something to do with her father. That faggot when they just moved here kept putting boxes on boxes when she was clearly struggling. Aren’t all fathers just faggots. Look at my non-existent one.

“Haha, yes of course it’s like that, my mommy makes me cookies everyday.”, I said sarcastically.

“Hmph, I guess we both have our share of dick familes.”, as she caught on and spoke emotionlessly.

It was silent after she said that. Her words still lingering in the air, as both of us were in deep thought, verging onto a feeling of aqwardness.

“Soo, ummm, this is aqward….”, I got up, lifting my hat off my head then putting it back on. I went to go throw my shit out, then-

“Wait.”, she said getting up and walking towards me.

“What”

“Sorry.”

I started laughing, hysterically.

“For what?”

“For judging you.”, she got up.

“It’s alright.. I mean…like everybody does that shit. But you can’t do anything about it.”

Then she looked at me, biting her lip, as if in deep thought. Then out of nowhere she punched my arm.

“Ow! What the fuck!”, I said laughing, surprised she even did that.

“Your awesome.”, she said then walked out the store.

I was there still dumbfounded.

“Sir are you ok?”, the same Starbucks guy asked.

“Do I look like I’m ok?! Gosh your so mean!,” I said in my Emotional Patrick voice, then ran out the store.

She was already two stores down.

[brotatochip]

Omfg tell me more about the kidnapping story

ALriGHty then FriEnd. Here we go. So I live in California generally by San Francisco, but this summer I flew to Montana (If you’re not from the US, it’s about 2000 miles away, right below Canada) by myself to spend 6 weeks with my extended family that I rarely get to see. So It was like August 1st or whatever, it was a tuesday. And let me clarify, Montana is like the 3rd biggest state or some shit but it is literally Cowboy™Hell™. Their capital city Helena (where we were might I add) only has a population of 31,169. Now, I cant speak for all of y’all reading this, but that is small as fuck. I’m not gonna tell you where I live, but the population of my SMALL city is 84,950. AND MY CITY IS TINY. Like binch get some people. Anyways,,, so I was staying with my cousin Mackenzie and we told her literal trash piece of a mom that we were going to stay the night at her friend Olivia’s house. So we went to Olivia’s and did our makeup and fucked around and decided we wanted to go out. So where do you go when you’re in  Cowboy™Hell™ with population of 31,169? Walmart. So at this point when we are done fucking around and gettin ready and shit, its like 10pm. No matter where you are in the world, all Walmarts are the same. e v e r y w h e r e. When you step into a Walmart you get that feeling and it’s what keeps the world together. So when we go to Walmart, we literally fuck around there for like an hour, and we get some Rockstar energy drinks bc what’s more suspicious than 3 teenagers,, one with bright ass dyed red hair (me,,),,, buying a bottle of chemicals to consume at 11pm,, :)) So let me clarify, there is a “city”-wide curfew from 11pm to 5:30am,, and my cousins terrible excuse of a mom doesnt know we are out. So we leave walmart and we just chill in Mackenzie’s (cousin) car deciding wtf we should do. And then we remember, we know someone with a cute ass dog. This dog is literally the cutest dog anyone has ever seen, not even exaggerating. She is like a 6 week old Australian shepherd mix and she looks like the physical embodiment of if Trump got impeached (the literal best thing in the world). So this chick who owns this dog let’s us come meet her so we can like pet sit the dog for the night. So obviously, we go get this dog,, i mean,,,,, who wouldn’t want to be with the cutest dog  e v e r. So we go get this dog and we were just chillin and talking to the girl for a while so now its like 12am. So now there’s just 3 suspicious looking teenagers with literally nothing to do in  Cowboy™Hell™. And now we have a dog. So let me tell you about Olivia real quick. She has been living off energy drinks for the last 3 years, she’s not the BIGGEST fan of the dog (for some reason..), and her life goal is to go take pictures on all of the statues in  Cowboy™Hell™ with a population of 31,169. And thats what we go to do. We drive downtown and take this cute ass puppy who is no bigger than a football and we start walking around downtown. Now,, as much as I love this dog, I said we probably shouldn’t take it because she can’t walk for that long,, but no,, Kenzie wanted to take her,, So we did. So we walk around with this cute ass dog downtown at like 1am with no one else there and no form of protection,, i know,,,,, smart. In Cowboy™Hell™, there’s a large statue of a propeller on top of a small hill in like the middle of downtown. So we all start walking up this hill so Olivia can achieve her life goal,, well the dog was getting tired or something because it kept like stopping on it’s way up. So Olivia and I went up the hill to the propeller while Kenzie stayed with the dog and tried to get it to come. About 2 minutes after we went up the hill,, Kenzie came running up to the top holding the dog and saying “dude there’s a guy coming up the hill”,, none of us actually thought this was fucking terrifying bc there’s just some random ass guy at 1am,,, but we are all antisocial fucks so obviously talking to him was what we were worried about. But just as Kenzie told us, we saw the guy which freaked tf out of her because she said he would have had to RUN,,,, to be that close to us that soon. So you know when you’re chasing your sibling and theres one of you on each side of the table or the couch or whatever? yeah,,,, that’s what we did with this guy,.. We attempted to ‘hide’ behind the propeller (it was literally the most pathetic thing i’ve ever done, we were all laughing and joking like “oh fucc he’s probably a murderer lmao” (as we needed to be fucking quiet) and as he walked by he said something but none of us know what he said. it was really short but idk. So he went into this tunnel that’s filled with graffiti that’s literally right behind the propeller statue and then we actually had some logic and were like o shit we should probably go,,,,,, so we all like ran down the other side of this hill,, and let me remind you,, we are still holding this goddamn dog,, that i said we shouldn’t take.. We were all laughing like omg we are gonna get raped lmfao (which we shouldnt joke about but some creepy ass dude just walked by us at 1:30 am like tf). So we were just chillin and then we notice, this guy started walking down the hill. Towards us. Now we are actually creeped the fuck out and we starting to think like oh shit is this guy actually following us,, so we start walking away, making sure to keep looking at him to see if hes still following us. Okay, sidenote; I currently have a balloon tied to my wrist (i found it while climbing statues earlier), I am holding a book that we also found, Olivia is holding the dog because the puppy can’t run with us, and Kenzie is holding a book and Olivia’s energy drink. It’s 1:30 am in the middle of  Cowboy™Hell™ population 31,169 and some guy is now following us. But we wanted to make sure he was following us, so we went around a building and he also went around us, confirming that he is indeed,, a complete psychopath. So we run around the building to the other side and we check to see if he’s still there. Also,, this  e n t i r e  time, we only ever saw him walk. He never ran. Which lowkey made it even MORE fucking terrifying. So me, having common sense, think O SHIT, THERE’S SOME RANDOM ASS GUY FOLLOWING US IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT,, WE SHOULD PROBABLY CALL THE COPS,,,,, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm,,,,,,,,, nah.. that idea was shut down immediately when Olivia brought up, the curfew. Hmmmmm,,,,, face parents or get raped/murdered????,,,,, obviously the latter. So now it’s probably 2am. At this point, we start to worry a bit, and by ‘worry a bit i mean start freaking the fuck out. Like, we could legitimately die depending on what this guy’s intentions were. Without Kenzie or I even noticing, Olivia picks up a rock in case she needs a weapon,,, like a rock would protect against a gun or knife or some shitt,,, but its okay. And while all of this is happening,,,,,,,,,, we are still holding this cute ass dog. So we decided we need to GO. But the guy is between us and the car. So we run across the street and hide in this little area in the trees. He sees us and starts walking down the MIDDLe of the street.  Creepy as FUCK. So we start running,, with my balloon, two books, an energy drink and a puppy. We ran to this old walking street thing that goes uphill, and they have a bunch of historical buildings or something. We can see the first building has like a back yard so we hop the stone fence and hide back there. I put my balloon on the doorknob to the building so that it wouldn’t fly away, and the guy couldn’t see where we were (ik,, smart af). We set the dog down and take a few moments to chill and breathe and think about what we are gonna do. This building is right on the street and right across from a park, so olivia tries to go look and see if the guy is still there, and she accidentally hit a huge metal thing which made the LOUDEST sound ever. So take a moment to ask yourself, what the fuck would you do if some creepy ass dude was following you at 2am in the middle of a “city” that you dont live in? Well shitt just die apparently. So we started talking and we were like fuck, we need to get the hell out of here, now. At this point, our car is like .7 miles away and we are all lazy ass motherfuckers who don’t run,, e v e r. But I guess it’s our only option. So we have to run this, while carrying two books, an energy drink, and a dog. You might ask you might ask yourself, why still carry the books and energy drink?? Are they really that important??? Yes. We sneak out onto the street to see if he’s even still there, and then we see this dicknugget stand up. He was sitting in the park, waiting for us. And then we started running. Now, running back to our car was a whole other adventure just by itself. We are running slightly downhill, which makes us go faster. We don’t even bother looking to see this guy because  nyoom nyoom gotta go fast – We start sprinting down this road,, and then we hear a car coming. It’s gotta be going like 60 mph down this goddamn road at 2am and they see 3 teenage girls sprinting. Just a normal day in  Cowboy™Hell™ apparently because if you see three people running as fast as they can down a road in the middle of the night, you might stop to see if they’re okay? nahhhh. guess nott. Not to mention, Olivia and I almost got ran over by this goddamn car because we are running in the middle of the street. Meanwhile, we still have 2 books, an energy drink, and a puppy (who at this point is probably traumatized just like the rest of us).. So we just keep running for what seemed like forever (it was probably like 2 minutes), and then,, I drop my book. And me,, being the dumbass that I am,,, i stop to pick it up. Don’t ask me why I risked my life to pick up a book that we randomly found,, a book that i dont need,, a book that later we found out to be erotica,, because i do. not. know. Ya know, I always had this mental picture that if, for some reason, I had to run for my life, my body would trade in my out-of-shape, asthma-stricken lungs for super-lungs from the adrenaline or something– BOI WAS I WRONG. My lungs felt like they were on fire. Like actually burning. So what do I do? I’m literally being chased by a murderer but I really dont wan’t to run.. Well fuck, guess i’ll just die. I start walking because FUCK IT, my out of shape ass needs to chill. Then Kenzie see’s that I am walking she was like THANK GOD i’m tired too. Meanwhile Olivia is way ahead of us, and she looks back to see us,,, and we are walking, and she was like “what the fuCk are you DoiNG ??”. So kenzie and I work up the strength to start running again; and then we see it,,, our car. We unlock the car and just sit. All of us out of breath, scared shitless, apparently Olivia still had her rock, and my first thought after this was all done? I want my balloon. While all these events were occurring, Kenzie was texting her friend what was happening. We went and picked up Kenzie’s friend and his friend who was staying with him. Now it’s like 3am. We almost just got murdered/raped/kidnapped/whatever, the cute ass dog is sleeping in the car, and now we have two guys with us. weLL HEy, I haVe A gREat iDeA; LET’s GO GET MY BALLOON. So we drove the car for another 20 minutes and went back to the same place we almost died; I know, smart. Just a quick reminder that Cowboy™Hell™’s “city”-wide curfew is 11pm… and its 3am,,,. So we park in the same exact spot we were parked 2 hours earlier when we were being stalked by some creepy motherfucker and we got out. We showed the guys what happened place by place, we got my balloon, and then we were just chillin on the street. We saw some car down the street driving towards us and Kenzie made some tdumbass joke like “lmao watch that be the sheriff”, Well GUESS WHO THE FUCK IT WAS??? YOU GuESseD rIGhT mY FrIENd. the sheriff. Quick reminder: curfew. If that sheriff stops, not only do we look fuckin suspicious af just chillin in the middle of downtown on a tuesday at 3am, they will call our parents. And we cant have that.. So what do you do when you’re in Cowboy™Hell™ and can’t get caught by the cops? Run. We all get off our asses and book it, and hide in some bushes for about 10 minutes until the coast was clear,, well we thot anyways,,,, we were walking down the street and he came around again and guess what? We all run for like 20 minutes back to our damn car and drive. BYE BITCH. None of our parents know we are out, so where tf do we go now? Can’t go home. My home is 2000 miles away. Well what perfect place to be in Cowboy™Hell™ then the CHURCH. We legitimately spent a good 3 hours in the church parking lot because where else we gonna go? back to Walmart? Probably,,, then its about 7am and we drove to some park. Welllllll,, since its Cowboy™Hell™ with a population of 31,169, EVERYONE FUCKING KNOWS EACH OTHER. My cousin’s neighbor came jogging by at 7 in the goddamn morning (who does that, get a life, sleep in, just stahp,,) and recognizes our car and guess what happens now? He calls our parents :))))))) Thanks for being a snitching ass little bitch,, because then my cousin’s mom drives up and says heyyyyyy, get your asses home :)) Well guess where we didn’t go? home. Guess where we went instead? Of all the places in Cowboy™Hell™ with a population of 31,169, we went to Walmart. 

[adventuresaroundasia]

After two years of working as a college counselor in Beijing (and over five years of living in China), I’m finally moving on. That’s right, my job is finished, and soon I’ll be leaving my cozy Beijing apartment for bigger and better things.

I know, I can’t believe it either. I never thought this day would come, and now it’s almost here. I know quitting my job and leaving China is a huge deal, not just for me but for this site as well. But it had to happen someday, and that day is… six weeks from now.

Pin Me!

Let Me Fill You In

Leaving my job in China is obviously bittersweet. On the one hand, I’m super excited to finally be able to travel as long as I want and work for myself without having to worry about round-trip tickets and vacation days. On the other hand, China has become my home, and I know many of you are a bit upset that I won’t be living here anymore.

Who wants another bland, professional travel blogger who hops nomadically from country to country, living in cheap digital nomad hotspots like Chiang Mai and Bali. We have enough of those, thank you very much.

So today I thought I’d talk a bit about all of the huge changes going on in my life to give you all a little insight into where this site is headed.

Why did I quit my job? What’s next for me? Will I still be writing about China? Where am I going? How am I going to survive without a full-time salary?

Well, read along folks, because this one will answer all your questions!

My first few weeks as a college counselor in China!

Why I Quit My Job in China

Well, first things first, I didn’t actually quit my job in China. My two-year contract as a college counselor expired and I personally chose not to renew it, much to the disappointment of my boss and coworkers. While working as a college counselor was an incredible experience (and a great way to pay off all of my student loans!!), it just isn’t my dream job.

I’ll be honest, working as a full-time college counselor while also managing this site AND creating a new teach abroad site was REALLY HARD. I was constantly stressed and exhausted. During admissions season I developed panic attacks, and I suffered from some hard-core FOMO whenever I was offered an incredible opportunity I couldn’t take because I had to be at work.

My story is the same as any other person who wants to start their own business without the capital to quit their full-time job. Side hustles are hard. Developing a new business with a full-time job is time-consuming and exhausting. I haven’t had the time or energy to fully devote to this blog because I’ve been too busy actually working at work.

It’s my hope that leaving my job as a college counselor will actually give me the time and energy I need to make the most of this site. For the last year and a half, my traffic has been pretty much stagnant. I struggle to crank out posts on a weekly or bi-weekly basis, and I’m not making as much money as I would’ve hoped by this point.

But now you finally have my full attention, and that’s super exciting!

Me over two years ago, finishing up my dissertation at the University of Nottingham in China

So… I’m Still Actually Working for My Job in China

Wow. So many over-exaggerations! Not only did I not quit my job, I’m actually STILL working for my old company part-time.

As much as I want to dive head-first into being a professional travel blogger, I’m also a little too responsible for my own good. I’m not a fan of having a low bank account balance or taking any financial risks, and I couldn’t bear to leave my students right at the start of admissions season either. So, I decided to sign a part-time contract with my college counseling job for the remainder of the admissions season.

This fall I will be helping my students craft and design their college admissions applications remotely via email and Skype. I’ll be paid for each final draft I help my students complete, as well as each hour I meet with them to chat. So far, this hasn’t been too much work, but I know things will ramp up when deadlines start approaching.

I’ll also be coming into the office 1-2 days a week throughout October and the first half of November. I’ll be meeting a ton of students back-to-back to prep them for upcoming application interviews (my specialty!), and I may also teach a few large classes on specific topics like interviewing, essay advice, etc. Thankfully my company is paying me pretty well for these meetings, and I’ve been working closely with my coworker to schedule them all as tightly as possible.

Exploring the Summer Palace’s Suzhou Street

Why I’m Leaving China

I’ll obviously write a full post on this later because there are many, many reasons why I can’t stay in China forever, (crowds, pollution, censorship, food safety, bureaucracy, and if I get bumped into one more time…) but there are a few major reasons I can quickly address here.

I Want to See the World

Firstly, there’s just so much of the world I want to see that I haven’t been able to explore because I’ve been living as a full-time expat in China. There are even some major parts of China I still haven’t been able to travel to, mainly because I only get Chinese holidays off from work, and I don’t necessarily want to go to Huangshan at the same time as 2 billion other Chinese tourists.

I know that if I was paying rent in China, I’d constantly feel guilty whenever I was on the road. Why am I wasting all of this money on an apartment I’m not even in?! I know there’s Airbnb and subletting, but to be honest, I’d rather just put all my stuff in storage and actually travel without worrying about an apartment.

Bye bye expensive apartment

Beijing’s Rent is Way Too Expensive

Seriously, I paid more for my room in a 5-bedroom apartment in Beijing than my friend Edna did for a room in Paris! Sure, I could easily move to a cheaper city like Xi’an, Chengdu, or Kunming, which might be an option in the future, but why do that when I could have my own villa in Bali for half of what I’m paying to share a room in a tiny rundown apartment by the Beijing Zoo.

China is Horrible for Digital Nomads

Two words: internet censorship. Sure, I can get around it using VPNs, but I’m SO TIRED OF IT. Did you know I have 6 VPNs?! Yep, while I usually use Express, I have five other VPNs as a backup. FIVE.

I’m sick and tired of just not being able to get on Instagram, or having to drain my 4G to load a Snap. If I can’t get my VPN to work I have zero access to my email, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Google, Snapchat, YouTube, GoogleDocs, Pinterest, and basically everything I need to actually do my job.

Wouldn’t it be nice if the Internet just worked? I’ve almost forgotten what that’s like.

Chillin’ with Mao in Tiananmen Square

I Need a Break From China

I love China. I just spent two weeks showing my parents around Beijing, Xi’an, and Yunnan. I had such a great time and even contemplated coming back to Yunnan for a month or more! I imagined myself picking out an apartment in Xi’an and possibly opening up a cute boutique hotel there (because for some reason Xi’an doesn’t have any boutique hotels).

China is incredible, but I need a freakin’ break! China is not the easiest place to live, and after 5 years, I just want some peace and quiet! I just need a break from the constant construction, crowds, pushing and shoving, oily food, pollution, and internet censorship.

I know I’ll be back, but for now, I need to take a breather so I can appreciate all of the good things about this incredible country without becoming the dreaded ‘Jaded China Bitch‘.

Big Adventures Ahead!

So… Where Are You Going?

With all of this free time comes the desire to pack it to the brim with adventures and travels. At one point I really thought I was going to show my parents around China in September, head to TBEX Ireland in October, travel around Ireland and UK, then go to WTM at the beginning of November, head to Africa in Mid-November, and Australia in December.

Oh my god. Not only would that completely drain all of the money I’ve saved up. I also wouldn’t have ANY time to actually work.

Thankfully I was able to put my foot down and give myself a solid 6 weeks for working here in Beijing. But come mid-November I will be traveling to Japan to work with the Mie Prefecture and spend two solid weeks hiking the Kumano Kodo Pilgrimage trail! Then Chris and I will be exploring a few other major cities: Kyoto, Osaka, and Tokyo!

After that, I’ll be heading to Australia to celebrate Christmas with Chris’ family in Ben Lomond Australia, a tiny village in Australia’s New England. To be honest, some peace and quiet after a few years in China sounds like heaven.

Finally, I’ll be visiting my parents in Palm Desert California, and then I’m onto a friend’s wedding in Atlanta!

What’s Happening With Adventures Around Asia?!

Australia? The US? What’s going to happen now that you’ve left China?

I get it. I’ve actually had multiple people message me saying that they’re disappointed I’m leaving China. People have come to associate me with this country, which is actually incredible, but also a bummer for many people now that I’m leaving.

So, to answer all your questions and quell any worries, here’s what’s happening with Adventures Around Asia!

Hanging out at the summer palace

I’m Still Going to Write About China

I have so much content on China I could literally create a new site tomorrow and never run out of blog post ideas. Seriously. I almost wish this blog was only about China so that I could have the time and energy to fill it to the brim with useful China content, crazy stories, and detailed guides.

Even though I’m not living in China full-time, I’ll still be writing about China. I’ll still travel to China, I’ll still create awesome guides, and I’ll be sure to keep all my info up to date. The only thing that will change on the China front is that I will no longer be continuing my expat monthly recaps, This Beijing Life.

I’ll still be covering Asia off the Beaten Path!

I Won’t Be Writing About Places Outside of Asia

I decided a long time ago that Adventures Around Asia will focus on Asia off the Beaten Path. I’m not going to all of a sudden start writing about Australia or Europe. I want to use this blog to show off the destinations and cultures that not everyone visits. I want to inspire people to explore like a local and get off the typical tourist trail.

There are enough blogs about Europe and North America. There are enough sites teaching you how to quit your job and travel the world as a backpacker or digital nomad, and there are far too many blogs talking about traveling Southeast Asia on the cheap.

I don’t want to compete with them. Frankly, they’ve been doing it better and longer than I have. While I do plan to share what’s going on in my life with all of you through personal posts and my new monthly recap series, The Freedom Life, I don’t plan on restructuring my blog to talk about something completely different.

Gotta update all the stuff from 2012!

I Will Be Writing More, and Updating Old Content

You know what’s great about not having a full-time job? Having the time and energy to actually commit to this site. Every time I read an old post about Sichuan or Yunnan from 2012, I squirm with embarrassment. Every time I check my most recent posts and see that I’ve barely written anything, I feel guilty.

Now I finally have the time and energy to fully commit to this site. Sure, I won’t be in China, but my China content will only get better in the following months. Promise.

Sometimes it feels like I’m the only blogger that’s NOT location independent

Aren’t You a Little Late to This Digital Nomad Game?

It’s a bit weird becoming a “digital nomad” when it feels like most travel bloggers are finally starting to settle down. To be honest, I almost feel like I missed the boat. Isn’t the digital nomad fad a huge cliche now anyway?

But despite all that self-doubt, I know I need to do this for me. There’s so much of the world I still want to see, and I want to be able to run my business and make money while doing it.

I know I’m late to the game, and I don’t care. I’m not becoming a “digital nomad” because it’s cool, or popular, or because everyone’s doing it. I just want to travel and see the world while also contributing, helping others, and growing a business I’m proud of (and without worrying about money all the time.)

I know the nomadic lifestyle doesn’t last, and I’m not even sure how long I’ll travel for. I’m an expat at heart, and once I’m tired of traveling, I’ll be settling down somewhere, probably in Taiwan. I’ll get a cute apartment and a cat, practice my Mandarin, find local friends, and buy some fuzzy blankets.

For me, “digital nomad” isn’t the dream. My dream is location independence. I want to be my own boss. Travel when I want to travel. Take opportunities when they come my way, and stop constantly worrying about vacation days and being in my office at a certain time, dressed a certain way, every. single. day.

I want freedom. I want control. I want to work for myself. Whether that’s on the road, as an expat, or at home in the USA is up to me.

What About Money? How Will You Survive?

Good question.

To be honest, I don’t make much money off of this site. It was my goal to be consistently making $1,000 USD a month by the time I quit my job. However, I can pretty much say I’m only hitting $600. While this isn’t a huge issue, it’s also not where I want to be, and definitely not enough to comfortably live in Beijing.

That said, I do have a few major income streams right now, and many more ideas where that came from!

Firstly, I had about $16,000 USD saved up when I quit my college counseling job. I have to say I’m pretty proud of myself for saving that much, considering I spent the first 1.5 years paying off $20,000 in student loans.

On top of my little nest egg, I have my part-time college counseling, which is a nice little consistent source of income. I’ve also been working as a recruiter for a few different schools and education companies in China. For every teacher that arrives in China, I make about $150-300 USD. This is a pretty slow moving process (especially since I’m SUPER picky about which schools I work with), so it can take months and months of work before I finally see a penny. However, I think this will be a pretty decent stream of income for me in the future.

Upcoming Business Projects!

In the next few months, I also really hope to work on boosting my passive income by fixing old blog posts to focus on affiliates. I feel like I’ve really been dropping the ball in this area, and I’d love to fix it.

FINALLY, I have a huge project I’ve been working on for the past few months. I can’t tell you all yet, but I will say it has to do with teaching abroad in China. I’m really hoping I’ll be done with everything by January, but it’s been a pretty slow-moving process.

If you’re at all interested in teaching abroad in China and you want to be one of the first to know about my HUGE MASSIVE INCREDIBLE PROJECT, be sure to sign up for my Free Teach Abroad Mini-Course and you’ll be the first to get all the info!

Just casually climbing a mountain in Yunnan

What About Your Boyfriend?

Oh, Chris? He’s coming too!

Chris has been location independent for a while now and works from home as a travel blogger and safari sales expert for a popular Tanzanian safari company. The only reason he lives in Beijing is because I’ve been stuck here (and his brother and nephew live here too).

To be honest, in the past I always imagined embarking on this new adventure alone. I was kind of excited about the prospect of long-term solo female travel. I embraced the challenge.

However, now I’m super excited about the idea of having someone to share everything with. Chris will be with me every step of the way, from hiking the Kumano Kaido, to working till the wee hours in a cafe with horrible wifi. Thankfully we have pretty much the same exact travel style, which makes things fairly easy.

…and we’re NOT combining blogs. I’m too much of a control freak for that. 

Anything Else You Want to Know?

I know these are some huge changes, and this is a lot of information to process. That’s why I want to know: Is there anything I haven’t covered? Is there something you want to know about in more detail? Please let me know in a comment so I know what to cover in my next few posts!

Also, are you curious about hearing more on how I’m surviving as a “digital nomad”? Would you like a monthly income breakdown with personal updates on how I make money and emotionally handle working for myself? If so, would you like to see it in a monthly recap or as a post of its own? Be sure to fill me in on your thoughts!

After FIVE Years in China, I’m Finally Moving On After two years of working as a college counselor in Beijing (and over five years of living in China), I'm finally moving on.

[irishcoffeeslushie]

Nobuta wo Produce review (excerpts) - II

Disclaimer: I didn’t write this, although I wish I had. Source.

The beauty of Nobuta wo Produce is that it doesn’t purport to be anything other than a high school drama, and that’s precisely what makes it so much more than just a high school drama. (Am I even getting my point across? Lol) What I’m trying to say is that the characters are every inch high school kids — no more, no less, neither dumbed down nor savvied up. But they speak from the heart because the writing keeps it all REAL and just lets the characters be themselves, be the thinking, feeling, self-aware teens that they are.

This drama explores the inner universe of adolescence, governed by its own whimsical vagaries and constant flux of emotions. And I love the judicious use of voice-overs as the main characters ponder such things as the future and the uncertainty of life. The dialogue is intelligent without being pseudo-intellectual, complex without being contrived (uh, Dawson’s Creek, anyone? man, talk about a series that tried too hard to be smart and deep and witty, but always felt like it was written by 40-year-olds *roll eyes*). The writing of NwP doesn’t try to be all these, it just IS. Just because the drama is about a bunch of high school kids doesn’t mean it has to be infantile and shallow, nor does it have to play at being implausibly grown-up.

The high school stereotypes are here in NwP, but with a distinctive Jdorama twist. True, the Class Clowns aka the Destiny Duo may not have the most gut-bustingly funny of spiels, but at least they never annoyed me, and always seemed to be having so much fun in their own little world — making funny puns, and punny fun. Beetlejuice Guy would be the closest thing to the resident Obsessive Basket Case, and adds a dash – just a dash! – of signature J-screwiness to the overall flavor of Class 2-B. Only Bando and the Bandettes are given the extreme treatment of all the 2-B students.

The grown-up characters are shown to NOT know all the answers to life, or possess the key to the Fount of Adult Wisdom. They’re mostly shown to be… big kids, really, just more beat-up around the edges and looking the worse for wear, maybe a little wiser and more jaded, and more accepting of the realities and disappointments of life. Hirayama the Tofu Guy (Takahashi Katsumi) provides a solid, comforting presence as Akira’s ever-obliging guardian — though not without his own share of regrets and hang-ups. Hirayama has an interesting dynamic not just with Akira, but with Akira’s volatile CEO father (Masu Takeshi). Both men take their stake in Akira’s upbringing quite seriously, but share an interesting “good cop, bad cop” approach to this responsibility. (LMAO @ the time both grown men bond while assembling the Nobuta keychains in Tofu Guy’s living room!)

I love how the Kiritani family feels like a real family — well, ¾ of a real family. And Nakajima Yuto as Shuji’s li’l bro Koji is the most perfect little boy you will ever lay eyes on… except that this was five years ago and he’s not so little anymore (heh heh). The scenes where the three Kiritani boys (small, medium and large) are just chillin’ at home — dad cooking dinner, Koji doing his homework, Shuji (with that topknot, lol!) patching up a torn sock — are always enjoyable to watch. Ditto the dynamic between Shuji and Koji — case in point: the moment the brothers share in the haunted house in Episode 3 is heartwarming without being hokey. It helps, of course, that Kame and Yuto (then a Johnny’s Jr. who also performed in the “Seishun Amigo” music video, poor kid, lol) share a wonderful on-screen chemistry.

The realism of Nobuta wo Produce doesn’t quite have the gritty, inner-city feel of, say, Dangerous Minds or Stand and Deliver, because there are offsetting moments of hyperreality (e.g. the horrific bullying, the vandalism/sabotage arc, the zany characters) as well as surrealism (e.g. the living spirits, the dream about Santa Claus, and the dream about Aoi) that all add flavor and character to the drama without overpowering its faithful depiction of Planet High School. This balancing act between hyperreal and surreal is a tricky line to tread: a production that exaggerates plot and characters will always feel facile despite any entertainment value (uh, Hana Kimi anyone?), while a drama that is too dependent on fantasy/dream elements can feel rarefied and thus run the risk of alienating the viewer.

The strength of NwP is that it doesn’t skew towards either extreme, but reaches a comfortable — yet dynamic — equilibrium, which is no small testament to the virtuosity of both writing and direction. The finished product retains its solid core of realistic narrative/character development and naturalistic technique, but is complemented by these pleasantly unexpected but contrasting touches of loopy Jdorama hyperbole and floaty phantasmagoria. This drama, ladies and gents, is pure magic realism at its working best.

… Such is the flipside of magic realism, this nebulous nexus of the strange, the dark, the frightening. The drama gives no explanation for the dream, and very wisely leaves it at that.

So, thanks to Nobuta wo Produce I will always, always, always hold Kame and Pi dear beyond words no matter what mess they’ve made — and continue to make — of their post-NwP career trajectories. Maki I remain fond of despite her lackluster performances in Hana Kimi and Kurosagi; I know I’ve been extra hard on her in my past reviews, but only because I think she’s capable of better things and hope a suitable film or TV project will eventually come her way. But my fondness for Maki is cosmically — cosmically I say!!! — eclipsed by all that I feel for Kamenashi of the pencil-thin brows, and Yamashita of the dead-fish stare. Now wait a minute, some of you might ask: How dare she even make that claim? Isn’t this E.G., who uses her blog to flay those boys alive as if there were no tomorrow? Isn’t she the harpy who likes to chain them to a rock and feast on their livers — again, and again, and again?

Er, yes on both counts. It’s haaard to explaiiiin, but the reason I rip these poor boys apart all the time is because I like to play with my food because they mean THIS MUCH to me. (Readers go, “Eeeehhh? Nandeee” *headscratch*) But see, such is the power of Shuji to Akira, that whatever Kame and Pi do in the years to come — whether as J-pop pinups warbling way off-key, or wannabe actors out to carve their own niche in the Leading Man Canon — I will be there to watch them, and love them in spite of it… maybe even because of it. Even if it makes my ears bleed, my eyeballs implode, and my spleen liquefy and dribble out the nearest body orifice (don’t ask which). I am their F-A-N, and their F-A-N for L-I-F-E — and all because of a pair of seventeen-year-old schoolboys who liked to bond over soy milk and take sunset bicycle rides together.

But I’m also the kind of fan who harbors no illusions about Kame and Pi’s dramatic abilities (for Pi, it’s the lack thereof haha); I’ve seen enough of their collective oeuvre (practically all of it, actually *blushes*) to know that Nobuta wo Produce is the best work they’ve ever done, or will ever get to do. (Like I said, that drama was puuure maaaagic!) Since NwP, each boy has made exactly ONE other drama I believe they can be proud of: Tatta Hitotsu no Koi for Kamenashi, and Proposal Daisakusen for Yamashita. (Never mind the rest; the rest are just the necessary evils you slog through to ultimately earn the title of “Kame/Pi Completist.” The reward? A 10-disc set of KAT-TUN+NEWS’ greatest hits. And a lifetime supply of cheap wine. *Kame fans remember Kami no Shizuku and promptly lapse into a coma* And one year’s subscription to AnAn. *Pi fans go: “YamaPi showah… chunyuu!”* Lulzzz)

Between the two, Kame is by far a more natural and versatile actor than his pink-loving seishun amigo; he does drama and comedy better than YummyPi my little Gummi Bear, who really can’t do much but… be himself. That’s why I’ve always thought that Yamashita Tomohisa’s best dramas — Lunch Queen, Stand UP!, and natch, NwP — worked so well because they just let him be his weird, spacey and endearing self — unlike the more recent ones which sucked the sweet, the warmth, the life out of the boy and left this… sleepwalking six-pack with deep-fried hair in his place.

And so, such has been my own “self-revelatory odyssey” that went from knowing nothing about these two boys a little over a year ago, to recoiling from the first photo of theirs (see above) that I came across (and it also made me go, “Egads, these kids look weeeiiirrrrd!” — sounds familiar? well hello-oo E.G.’s KimuTaku Space Odyssey, lol), to acquiring Nobuta wo Produce (I’d heard good things about this netizen hit, but left it on the back burner because of… said photo), to finally giving in and watching the damn drama. And just like my experience with Pride, the rest is history, my embarrassing (and at times, downright incomprehensible) Kame/Pi fangirly devotion lovingly smeared all over this blog. It’s too late to take it back, to act more dignified and unsullied by this dark, guilty pleasure of mine. But, hey — if Nobuta and Akira could live with their weird little selves, I suppose so can I.

And to end this review with the wise words of a Green Day song:

“Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go So make the best of this test, and don’t ask why It’s not a question, but a lesson learned in time It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right. I hope you had the time of your life…”

To Shuji, Akira and Nobuta, I hope you had, and continue to have, the time of your life… because you sure as heck gave me mine.