#︵ ͜◞ ͜𝒢𓍢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ྐ✚⠀⠀⠀⠀𝓐ll⠀⠀𝓔yes⠀⠀𝓞n⠀⠀𝓜e⠀⠀⠀ིܳ

[chukisser]

"how do i get "the friends in my head" type of did'

you don't. or at least, it takes VERY long.

i feel like many of you are forgetting not everyone says everything about their life online.

me personally, i am a very open person. i am very open with the fact my alters rarely get along, that my parts are frequently doing things to hurt us collectively and each other. it is something i have discussed multiple times on different accounts.

but, there's also shorter and lacey, who have been together for a month or two. there's aven and ash, who have a parental and sibling relationship. there's aven and ratio, who have been together for a long time. there's grian and sam, who have been together since before our original host even knew about our DID. there's gentleness between parts, during those moments when things feel okay. there are bonds that are stronger than our instability.

i am a person who is open and posts mostly about the negatives of my life, because my life is incredibly negative and there is very little things that make me joyful. but, that doesn't mean there isn't any joy at all, i just don't post about it. usually because during those moments of calmness from the constant state of fight or flight i live in, i am basking in the feeling of being alive and not just surviving and not thinking about posting it.

and there are people that AREN'T like me. that do not post about the negatives; that prefer to keep their page happy and uplifting. and that is okay. not everyone is comfortable to share negative parts of their life, or they simply just don't see a reason too.

the people you guys are talking about, that "have friends in their head type of DID", are strangers. you do not know them. you do not know what their parts do. they may have parts that ruin their life every single day, they might have the same exact feelings you have but just don't talk about it. it's very likely that they DON'T actually have "friends in their head"

and the truth is, no matter how hard it is to accept, the people with the "friends in their head type of DID", that are open about how their parts get along and they're happy, most likely worked for it. that is something i still struggle to accept, the idea that i have to do MORE work just to recover from things that weren't even my fault; that not only did i have to survive the events, i now have to pick up the pieces and heal. it's a horrible feeling but unfortunately it is reality. if you want to get better, you have to hold yourself up just a little more.

if you want your parts to get along, for everyone to be friends, healing is necessary. you cannot get rid of pain by continuing to stay in a state of pain. and even with healing and recovery and proper help, things still might not work out. some parts might always be a little wonky, and that's okay.

if you truly want the "friends in your head type of DID", you have to pick yourself up, just a few more times, and put the work in. go to therapy, take the medications if needed, uncover parts of your life you didn't remember, go through the stages of grief and let yourself feel everything. it'll be horrible, truly, recovering from any sort of trauma caused disorder is horrible in the beginning, but it's not forever.

[mizicutie]

⠀⠀⠀𓉳◟⠀⠀⠀⠀ˇ♪⠀⠀⠀⠀may⠀i⠀have⠀a⠀promo⠀?

hello⠀!⠀i am cirrus , luka or mizi . i was @soulbounde , but google hates me and banned the email i used for that account , which essentially logged me out , so i had to start fresh ... again .

this blog is dedicated to anything editblr related ! i do the following ;

rentry graphics

character renders / pngs

dividers

blank frames

ibis paint colorings

userbars , userboxes , blinkies , stamps

tutorials on how to make certain things

pfps / icons

tumblr / twitter layouts

i have no blacklist and will edit any media !! yes , when i say any , that includes nsfw media , ocs , problematic media & real people .

my inbox is usually always open but sometimes i close or limit it due to burnout

taglist ( dm / send an ask to be removed )

@arloangelz @chokingonchairs @wavyskies @selysie @bydollita @angelicabsence @newgod @penissekai @duplitism @cherryiism

[chukisser]

can I ask for more detail? as far as I'm aware, there isn't necessarily another type of non-disordered system that wouldn't fall under the endogenic umbrella, unless you're counting spiritual plurality which I know some people don't consider to be endogenic. /npa, /nm

Endos delegitimize actual non disordered systems.

[chukisser]

personally if someone isn't distressed entirely by their disorder, its not my problem.

which, yeah, is entirely hypocritical, in a way, considered ive said the complete opposite on a past account, and it does make me incredibly jealous to see people live with dissociative disorders and still be happy; but it's not truly my problem in the grand scheme of things.

my own personal experience is that i find absolutely zero joy in any part of DID. most of our alters hate each other, our dissociation causes migraines so bad we pass out, not to mention the seizures, and also the fainting, and the loss of time, and the fact i dont know my own name 90% of the time, and the flashbacks, oh my god don't even get me started on the flashbacks. literally everything about this disorder makes me want to jump into an ocean.

BUT; that doesn't mean people who are able to find joy in their life while living with a disorder, or people who aren't distressed by having certain aspects of it, are faking, or they're mistaking DID/OSDD for something else, or whatever.

something else i have is ADHD. i was diagnosed when i was about eleven and put on adderall. i admit, my ADHD really does ruin aspects of my life, especially in social and educational spaces, but there's a very few little things in there that i think are kinda rad. one of those being i am INCREDIBLY passionate about my interests due to ADHD, one of the things i love the most about myself is my passion about the things i love. i could rant for hours about banana fish, minecraft youtube, genshin, psychology, project sekai, literally any of my interests; and that passion, i feel, comes almost entirely from my ADHD. does this mean that I don't have ADHD anymore because I'm not distressed by one thing? no. the same goes for any disorder.

people are allowed to not be distressed by aspects of a disorder. that is, quite literally, a part of recovery, especially with disorders like OSDD/DID.

there's people like me, who are hurting constantly and just aren't in the right space to make recovery, therefore they are distressed by every aspect of their dissociative disorder. but there's also people that aren't like me, that have been able to truly figure things out and learn to manage their dissociative disorder and find the best in their living situation. and that's fine.

a lot of these posts about "you need to be distressed by all aspects of DID/OSDD to have it" come from hurt people. and that's fine; you can ask anyone in syscourse and they'll be able to tell you about the shitty and insane things ive said to people because of my own unstable, unhealed mind. it's alright to say bad things sometimes; nobody is truly 100% right all the time. but, know that one day, all of us will (hopefully) be those systems who are able to find some sort of happiness and contentment in our disorder. or, non-disorder, if you don't use the label of DID/OSDD. whatever you're fine with :-)

[chukisser]

question for sysblr and syscourse;

how do you guys feel about alters that are sourced from siblings, or alters with age gaps, dating?

for example, in honkai star rail, sunday and robin are siblings. if an introject of sunday dated an introject of robin, what would you think about that?

and example two, if an alter that presents as fourteen dated an alter that presents as twenty five, what would you think about that?

im aware that introjects aren't their source and alter age isn't necessarily real but i still wanna get some opinions on this...

[chukisser]

hmm do you have any system headcanons for characters you like? if not feel free to talk about any hcs you have or characters you like. we share a good few fandoms so chances are ill know at least a little about what you're talking about x] hope you have a good sleep! im about to go to bed myself

HMMMMMM.

when it comes to system headcanons, i dont really have more than like 3 off the top of my head... a lot of my headcanons revolve more around personality disorders (< projecting. like a LOSER)

however i am a FIRM osdd-1 mizuki akimaya believer 🫡🫡 that cutie patootie is a system 100%

also a firm believer of DID layla (genshin) !!!! i think layla is implied to have DID or like... it's written her lore or something but she is the only system ever

and also a osdd-3 ash lynx believer !!!!!! he literally went through gangs and shit before he even turned 18 that boy DEFINITELY has a dissociative disorder.. im also kinda cool with the idea of osdd-2 ash lynx especially considering the amount of conditioning that happened to him... (im insane about ash lynx can you tell is it obvious yet)

AND DPDR LUKA (ALNST) !!!!!! he's already implied to have npd due to things like his lack of empathy and such so might as well add dpdr on to the mix /silly , but luka having DPDR makes a lot of sense to me especially considering how he's survived multiple life or death situations and such... that definitely would cause DPDR to form

there's probably more ive thought about but those are the big ones ....

[chukisser]

random & irrelevant to the convo we were having so i'm sending it as an ask but it's a little strange to me that in syscourse it seems like mostly pro to neutrals interact with you as an anti endo. not bad strange, i mean i'm one of them and i interact w you fairly often, but i feel like it's almost always the opposite with other anti-endos? x> i wonder why that is

- @starfall-reef-syscourse

i def get what you mean !!! i think it's mostly just because a lot of anti-endos don't reallyyy.. interact with the syscourse tag itself...

there's a lot of anti-endos on here, but a lot of them don't actually tag their stuff with syscourse and usually just stay in the anti endo and CDD tags, while i kinda only use syscourse tags for most of my system related posts (minus the occasional tags of like... #did osdd or #sysblr), so i think it's kinda harder for syscoursers to find other anti-endos besides me (and that one star person i think... i know who they are but literally can't remember their name.) and debate with them? if that makes any sense. especially if they're like me and have tags of the opposing view filtered out (i have pro-endo/endo tags filtered out just for my own sanity and also bc i dont wanna accidentally interact with someone with anti-endos dni...)

so pretty much i just think it's that a lot of people who actively tag syscourse and engage in the syscourse tag are pro or neu endo/syscourse unaligned, while anti-endos often don't tag their stuff as syscourse or aren't open to debate, which kinda makes it hard to find anti-endos in the actual syscourse tag.

[chukisser]

why is syscourse debating if being queer is a choice or not. this is not 2016, go back to watching that kalvin guy and get the hell out of syscourse with your queercourse.

i dont care if someone chooses to be trans or queer. if they want to willingly deal with the experience of being queer, both the good and the bad, then i cannot stop them. if they want to spend potentially hundreds of dollars to medically transition, not my problem nor is it my money. if they want to spend potentially hundreds to marry someone of the same gender, not my problem nor my money. there's only like, 2 cases i can think of where you can't chose to be a queer identity, and that's with like. intersex and two spirit. other than that, label yourself as whatever you want. i use over 1000 labels just for fun. some are about feelings i was born with, ive always been queer and trans and intersex, but i willingly chose to use 90% of the xenogenders i use just bc it's fun.

i have geometry homework to do, and most of you guys have jobs to go to!!!! stop saying rebranded queerphobia in the SYSCOURSE tag of all things. either take it to twitter or shut your mouths

[mizicutie]

nvm im changing my whole identity and name and prns. #bpd #did #unstableidentity

[chukisser]

give me syscourse topics to discuss ^_^

ill answer them all in a few hours when i wake up for school !! non-syscourse asks also welcomed

[chukisser]

can someone actually give me sources about tulpamancy being apart of a buddhist (i think buddhist, correct me if wrong) practice?

because ive heard it a lot, specifically about it being a very very old practice, but to me and with what research ive done (which, admittedly, isn't too much. i cant get far into any study about religions without a protector getting triggered), most things about tulpamancy just seem to be something that bronies made in the early 2000s, kinda like willogenic before willogenic existed...

ps; don't debate me on if tulpamancy is real or not. i won't discuss my opinions on spiritual plurality in depth due to RA trauma and my own weirdness with religion 👍🏻

[chukisser]

banger after banger from you today!!! i'm enjoying hearing your perspectives on this discussion :D

SALUTATIONS STARFALL !!! 🫡🫡

the urge to yap won over in the past hour and i decided to get all the yap out with syscourse...

give me like 3 days and ill get the urge to yap again and drop more long post bangers /silly

[chukisser]

kinda sick and tired of non-ramcoa survivors and people who don't even believe in ramcoa sticking their nose in our spaces and speaking for us .

you are not one of us . you do not get to decide which terms are and aren't ok to use . you do not get to decide things abt our community if you don't even believe we have trauma . either sit down and shut up or go dick ride somewhere else .

[chukisser]

So as a fellow Genshin enjoyer I'm curious:

1: Who is your main/favorite character(s) as far as gameplay?

2: Any characters you like for plot reasons but don't like the gameplay of them as much?

3: Any favorite character(s) from a design aspect?

OOOOOO !!!! GENSHIN MENTION

ok so admittedly, i only started actually playing the game recently (at about christmas 2024, when i got my tablet), but ive been very active in the fandom and with the lore for a while!!!

as of right now, my main is fischl !!! but i also REALLY want wrio... </3

probably lisa... i like her lore and her as a character but her gameplay confuses me a bit ...

KAVEH !!!!! kaveh is my all time favorite ever , his design and lore and character are all very very special to me ... alhaitham and sethos are close seconds though!!!! (you can definitely tell sumeru is my favorite region.

[chukisser]

"having did and being spiritual are ok as long as their separate things"

ok but WHAT DO I DO IF JESUS IS IN MY HEAD. AND JUDAS. I DON'T WANT THEM HERE. PLS I DON'T WANT MY DID AND OLD RELIGIOUS BELIEFS TO BE CONNECTED. GET THEM OUT PLEASE GET THEM OUTTTT 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[chukisser]

What’s your favorite outfit?

YES ABSOLUTELY !!!!

when it comes to outfits ive worn percently , i have a few !!!! unfortunately i cant show them on here for safety purposes as my face is in those photos and i don't wanna post my face , but most of my fav outfits consist of jeans , a graphic tee , and my black zip up hoodie with some jewelry :3

when it comes to different types of fashion in general, I HAVE SO MANY TYPES I LOVE . jfashion is one of my spins so a lot of my favorite types of fashion are related to jfashion ... i reallyyyy love:

jirai kei !!!! its my favorite style and i plan on dressing in it once im older

gyaru !! specifically hime gyaru , i love love loveeee anything that's pink and frilly and over the top !!!

sweet lolita !! same as above , i love anything that's frilly and extra and all over the place...

i also really like menhera fashion !!

when it comes to more darker types of jfashion , i absolutely love vkei , specifically kote kote kei !!

i also really love ouji fashion... specifically like. ciel phantomhive type of ouji.

when it comes to more western / american types of fashion, i really like:

emo and scene fashion! i personally dress what can be considered emo a lot and it's super fun