#忘不了

[jingyuanyuan]

(Observations from Chinese fandom idk what it’s like in the English side, also idk translations for some of the names of things)

A lot of blade fans dislike jingliu (hmm perhaps for killing their guy hundreds of times) but I think people forget jingliu was possibly the most direct victim of the incident. She had to kill the cursed dragon made from baiheng’s flesh (I don’t read liuheng fics but I kind of passively ship them because it makes this more knife and more tasty) which basically immediately triggered her mys and drove her insane (altho she was already very old 1000+ by this point) so effectively Dan feng and ying xing caused her death as well, and thus altho she considers herself one of the 3 sinners due to going insane and killing fellow soldiers, you could also consider that to be Dan feng and yingxing’s fault too. From this point on jingliu is dead, and iirc the document in game says the casualty count was in the thousands and I don’t think jingliu killed blade that many times, if you want to calculate it like that.

I’m not a blade 推 he’s just very interesting to me, his suffering fascinates me lol, I’m a jing yuan 推 tho so I suppose I also have complicated feelings about the current, mys jingliu because of the trouble she and luocha did and will bring to xianzhou and thus jing yuan… she really is not herself anymore. The jingliu who taught jing yuan 吾等云骑，如云翳障空，卫庇仙舟 is gone… that jingliu would never use the lives of everyone on luofu as just another means to achieve her goals.

And if you look at blade altho he is probably normal most of the time when he’s not exposed to mys triggering things from his interaction with firefly he seems pretty quite and reserved (altho still cracks jokes which were then heavily memed hhh 点刀哥经典语录：死不了) which is very different from famously arrogant yingxing. That arrogance was probably why he helped Dan feng, for Dan feng he also had to consider this could be the way to save the future of his race but for yingxing I interpret his motivation as helping a friend and the short lived race’s desire to do what no one has done before and leave his mark before he’s gone. Blade probably considers his arrogance as one of the fatal character flaws that led to the disaster. I suppose time both sands down ones edges and wears away everything but the most pure desires and goals, and everything else is in service of that goal. For blade the goal is his eventual death, for jingliu it’s to kill yaoshi, and altho jing yuan hasn’t mys-ed you could say for him it’s all in service of luofu

[buried-in-stardust]

我的水準跟他們比就是真的很差，辯論時跟不上他們說的話，他們講的快並且我不習慣用書面語，念文章時會結巴，眼跟嘴都沒同步，同學的文章我都需要先查字典才看得懂，全都是書面語！！我應該是我們班裡書面語最糟糕的學生……我天天用的是口語，聽的讀的說的寫的都是，教授問我問題時我回答的還是口語，救救我啊 我也沒學過語法，我的語法也很爛

[snazzyscarf]

full saga is on my langblr sideblog but christ almighty worst fucking past hour and a half of my life. how does a professor fucking forget to give his own goddamn exam. he thought someone else was supposed to administer it. WHO? NOBODY KNOWS. ITS YOUR GODDAMN CLASS SIR. 我的天 🤦

[aworldforastage]

2023 Q1 Reading Recap

Writing up my thoughts on these 10 danmei titles (out of 15) that I read in the first three months of 2023.

相见欢/Joyful Reunion

天官赐福/Heaven Official’s Blessing

督主有病/Governor’s Illness

日落大道 /Sunset Boulevard

我成了虐文女主她亲哥/I Became the Older Brother of the Heroine in an Abusive Novel

魔尊他念念不忘/The Demon Venerable’s Wistful Desire

唇齿之戏/The Plays of Lips and Teeth

粉黛/Concealed and Blended: Fendai

妃嫔媵嫱/Fei Ping Ying Qiang

铜雀春深/Tong Que Chun Shen

(audiodrama cover art for Joyful Reunion, Governor's Illness, Sunset Boulevard)

I don't have a good reason for the cheesy song lyrics except that my mind was very preoccupied by Taylor Swift songs when I was writing this up ….

Famous titles: "I got a list of names, and yours is in red, underlined"

I finally got to four widely-recommended titles that has been sitting in my personal to-read-list for nearly a year. And honestly? Yeah, I think they are worth the hype.

相见欢/Joyful Reunion -- In a crumbling empire plagued by foreign threats and an impending succession crisis, young Duan Ling learns that he is the crown prince who needs to take on the burden of saving his nation. He eventually meets a love interest who gives him the exact type of warmth, strength, and security that he needs on this journey. Joyful Reunion stands out to me for a supporting cast that act like people who want to live and thrive in their society, not characters rounding out someone else's story. There are no chess masters who can see three steps ahead or control the entire board, but each party moving their own pieces end up creating a Gordian knot for the protagonist anyways. On top of all this, Duan Ling still manages a very satisfying coming-of-age arc.

天官赐福/Heaven Official’s Blessing -- No introduction needed of course. I'm not the biggest fan of Hualian, but MXTX, as usual, wins me over with a universe full of people, relationship dynamics, and themes that can stand up to dissection under a microscope: there is just SO MUCH going on. To me, TGCF is a story about power, self-concept (including moral values), love, and the sacrifices people make for them. It's very similar to MDZS in that it exposes systemic flaws in the world and society that remain (mostly) immutable, but still gives individual characters (mostly) happy endings, and arguably at the character-level it's a bit happier than MDZS … I think?

督主有病/Governor’s Illness -- On his first trip off the mountain at twelve, Xiahou Lian saves a young master around his own age from assassination and learns what it means to be born and raised in Qielan, a mysterious assassin organization. Everyone he knows is meant to eventually die for Qielan, but that little young master, the titular future Governor, gives him hope and faith in the potential of life. I have never met two characters who like each other so much who are so bad at getting together. This feels like an old-school wuxia story about sects, secrets, honor, and growth, but it's also a brutal deconstruction that highlights the dark side of this way of life, and the practical and psychological cost of wielding the power to kill.

日落大道 /Sunset Boulevard -- Zhang Jue breaks Chen Boqiao out of prison when the latter is framed for a crime. Chen Boqiao barely remembers them having attended the same high school, but Zhang Jue has been secretly in love with him for a decade. Ka Bi Qiu's writing style is smooth like fine silk; it elicits vivid imagery and emotions with deceptively simple language. I think its one relative weakness is that the plot feels very thin aside from the relationship arc, but its only around 160K words long and the relationship arc has earned a reputation as one of the most well-known "insecure one-sided secret pining" stories in all of danmei.

(audiodrama cover for I Became the Older Brother of the Heroine in an Abusive Novel, The Demon Venerable’s Wistful Desire)

Rebirth and Transmigration: "I think I've seen this film before and I didn't like the ending"

I read four novels in this category, though the two I really like at the moment are straight-forward novel transmigration stories -- kinder treatment from a transmigrated "canon fodder" turns scary "boss" character into a puppy-like love interest.

我成了虐文女主她亲哥/I Became the Older Brother of the Heroine in an Abusive Novel -- Cannon fodder in palace intrigue novel tries to change his family's ending by befriending the "villain", who decides he'd like to be more than friends. It's soft and fluffy because the love interest never gets close to his supposed darker persona after the protagonists' intervention. I really enjoyed the part with them temporarily living in the palace as teenager, a very heartwarming process of kindness begetting kindness. The "hidden main plot" in the story is also very engaging.

魔尊他念念不忘/The Demon Venerable’s Wistful Desire -- Teen transmigrator ends up in the body of the boss's canon fodder nemesis in a Xianxia novel, and becomes very committed to avoiding or being nice to the future Demon Venerable. The original novel plot completely veers off track because the (future) Demon Venerable is now only interested in find his missing cultivation partner and dual-cultivating with him. There is a subplot about the hypocrisy of the so-called righteous sects, but this story is mostly a feel-good romantic comedy in the xianxia setting.

P. S. Is there some unwritten rule that novels in this genre must have very long titles???

(audiodrama cover art for The Plays of Lips and Teeth, and Concealed and Blended: Fendai)

Pleasant surprises: variations on familiar themes

Entertainment/celebrities: "The camera flashes make it look like a dream"

This genre often makes us think of idols, musicians, and actors, often A-lister who are secure in their fame and talent. This quarter I read two different takes with this setting:

唇齿之戏/The Plays of Lips and Teeth actually tracks very similar to other celebrity stories, in which the fame and talent of the main characters are never challenged. However, focusing on more specialized careers like that of a host/producer and a comedian/xiangsheng performer is a refreshing change; needing to worry about things like bosses and management makes their careers feel a bit more down-to-earth.

粉黛/Concealed and Blended: Fendai explores the intersection of artistry, identity, sexuality, and fame, also through a story about atypical individuals in the industry: a "cross-dressing" celebrity makeup artist and professional gamer-turned-actor. Both main characters are uncertain about their purpose and the personas they put on to stay in the industry, and it's a story about their personal growth as well as professional achievement.

Concubines and consorts: "But it dies, and it dies, and it dies a million little times"

The concubines, aka non-official spouses, are among the most widely vilified demographics in cnovels, even though they are often the most powerless people in that dynamic. They are given the spotlight in two HE stories I found this quarter. (Warning: the "husband" in both stories are intimate with other members of his harem.)

妃嫔媵嫱/Fei Ping Ying Qiang tries to do a realistic take on the male concubine, who needs to clear significant personal and political hurdles to stand next to his prince. The concubines, male and female, do not enter their marriages intending to become manipulative usurpers of the wife's affection, in a narrative that shows it's only human that they hope to have affection in their family and survive this life with dignity.

铜雀春深/Tong Que Chun Shen makes a protagonist out someone who would usually be a failed romantic rival. Contrasted with the reserved and stubborn foreign prince, its the character who does not guard his sexuality, who leans into his partner's expectations, and who does not come from noble origins or have the political capital to fully assert himself, who finally gets to have his feelings and dignity put in the spotlight.

[regine1663]

孤味 這部電影在我的片單裡面很久了， 我知道我自己看了一定會哭⋯ 就一直遲遲沒有點開來看！！ 昨天終於鼓起勇氣點開來看了⋯ 離家多年的阿公忽然在過世的時候被送回阿嬤的身邊， 而且這一天還是阿嬤七十歲的生日⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯ #換成是我們的說法肯定會好好的稱讚一下是真愛無誤了 #死都要回到太太的身邊而且還是你生日的這一天 #還是阿公怕被阿嬤遺忘 過程中也有令人捧腹大笑的地方！ 比方小女兒以為逝去的父親變成一隻蟑螂回家了🤣🤣 又或者是阿嬤跟小橙的對話！ #阿嬤對小橙說你好我不好啦 #國中生說這不是他外婆跟他的對話嗎 #我外婆也常常這樣跟我說話欸 #小橙說他不要出國讀書阿嬤說你媽媽一定要我也沒有辦法 #國中生又說他外婆也這樣跟他說過欸 #又不是只有你外婆這樣說過我外婆也這樣對我說過啊 電影中的這一家人他們很喜歡不把事情說清楚或說明白， 也許他們也跟我有一樣的邏輯， 不知道比知道來的幸福！！ 所以為了讓大家幸福所以大姐癌症復發不願讓媽媽知道！ 而因為家裡經濟不好， 所以阿公阿嬤把三女兒送養別人， 姊姊們也很有默契的不願意告訴小妹⋯⋯⋯⋯ 所以小橙問到為什麼你們有話都不說清楚要在阿嬤背後亂猜？ #小妹也因為不清楚爸爸曾經給媽媽哪些傷害還很認真的在媽媽面前支持真愛無敵覺得阿姨委屈了 #阿姨的確委屈了但是他卻可以同理阿嬤受傷的心 一直以來我都認為喪禮及告別式都是為了活人而存在的！！ 就是舉行一個儀式在這過程當中讓還活在世間的家人友人接受所愛的人已經離開了⋯ 而喪禮的形式等等到底是要依照亡者的喜好還是還活在世間家人的喜好？ 電影中從選阿公的遺照到要照佛教還是道教的方式舉行都充滿著阿嬤滿滿的不甘願！ 中間乾脆來個佛教跟道教師公儀式大亂鬥⋯⋯⋯ 到最後阿嬤終於跟自己和解⋯⋯⋯⋯ 每個人都要學著修復受傷的內心！！ 阿嬤最後的放下還有計程車上的場景 讓我的眼淚狂流！！！ #我跟國中生說阿嬤每次做的計程車車號都是同一台 #國中生說誰會注意到這種事我說我啊 #阿嬤的計程車很高檔欸還可以唱歌欸 #大姐是陳嘉玲演的阿嬤年輕的時候是陳嘉玲他媽媽演的大姐想要離婚的老公是陳嘉玲他弟弟的男朋友也是因為如此我會一直不斷地想起陳嘉玲 #孤味臺灣劇情片 #2020電影（在 Taipei, Taiwan） https://www.instagram.com/p/CpKI2tnyBIy/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[niteshade925]

嗯

[yourlocalsaltyfish]

dot

[zhan-he]

the fun thing is that ive essentially deliberately chosen to keep my writing as natural as possible rather than cramming it with editing or fretting about characters or making it polished, because i feel like the sort of authenticity it gives lends a certain cadence of uniqueness that cant be replicated; but then i have twice the doubts and self-deprecation

i know i cant do the other way though. for better or for worse(for worse) and despite all my screaming and begging and raving i cannot summon up enough hyperfixation ever to go so in depth

[swdgf]

《我的一个朋友》 by 孔恰

[hoie1217]

陳慧嫻《忘不了您》MV (By Heart) 2014

[rinbylin]

。

[falseren]

when will my 官配 return from the war 😭🙏🙏

[justaboutsnapped]

dear-凹3是全tumblr最萌的四轮妹……实在受不了了取关了，我是来看你发ao3笑话的不是看你无脑得要死的四轮takes的

[shoverse]

啊！！！

[nana-didi-channel]

吃了讓你忘不了的 ~貓山王榴槤~【納是我迪迪 Nana & Didi Channel】(Durian)