#九: fukutaichou

[kazeshinigami]

"Hisagi-fukutaichou.. Is this for me?" He is holding some chocolate, and of course he is unable to read the note that accompanies it, so other than finding it on his desk, he cannot be sure it was meant for him.

Perhaps it had been arrogance to think Tousen might just know it was from him — might sense traces of his reiatsu on the small package or the note with it (which does have Tousen's name on it, but it was probably stupid of Shuuhei to have done so, knowing full well his captain wouldn't be able to read it).

On the tail-end of that faint disappointment, Shuuhei momentarily considers denying the intended recipient, but he suspects Tousen would hear it in his voice if he lied, and then Shuuhei would look twice the fool.

"Y-Yes," he therefore admits, clearing his throat after his voice catches. "Yes, it is. I… You've done so much for me, Tousen-taichou, so… I wanted to show my appreciation." He would show much more, if he dared, but he's too much a coward for that.

[kazeshinigami]

"ya think yer better than us by denyin' where ýa came from, talkin' all fancy an shit, but yer from the same gutter, so get off yer high horse." Renji sneers.

send painful anons as someone my muse cares about

"That isn't—!" But Shuuhei bites back a further retort. He had adjusted the way he speaks because Tousen had recommended it to him for making good first impressions in Seireitei. He had constructed an acceptable version of himself to play the role Tousen had set before him. So, yes, he had denied the gutter from which he had come. He has no right to claim to Renji that he had done anything else.

[kazeshinigami]

@momxku replied to your post:

Ah.. When he had asked, he had not realised that the sender had been Shuuhei. He had simply meant to ask his second whether his name was on the note or not. He gets the odd gift of chocolate from various subordinates on this day, but usually anonymously. He hums. "I see. And what's in it?" He enquires, making a mental note to return the favour come white day, even though it is a little silly to be exchanging chocolates with his lieutenant.

​Well, at least he isn't getting chastised for the gift. That's something. Shuuhei twiddles his thumbs from nerves even as he answers: "An assortment of truffles. They'll probably seem plain from the outside, but I used multiple fillings with different flavors and textures." In its own way, the endeavor had been his attempt to showcase what he had learned from Tousen in the kitchen.

[kazeshinigami]

❤️ for kaname

SEND  ❤️ AND MY MUSE WILL LIST SOMETHING THEY LIKE ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

“Your patience has always drawn my profound respect and admiration, taichou. There must be more times than I can count when it would have been far easier to give up on a recruit like myself.” Stupid, floundering, traumatized little thing that he was (still is, really). “You have always taken the time to guide me when I am lost. I would not be the man I am today without you. I can never repay your kindness, but nevertheless I intend to try.”

( @njnth )

[kazeshinigami]

(tousen) reaches over to touch his face, but stops midair. '...Shuuhei, wipe your face. There's dirt on it.'

At the movement of Tousen’s hand in his field of vision, Shuuhei had seized up as if under the effects of kidou. Not out of fear, mind, but out of a kind of reverence. The idea that Tousen would deign to touch his face (his unappealing, mangled face) had simply sent a chill so strong through him that it had left him frozen.

So when it had stalled, his jackhammering heart had sunk a little lower. See, it had told him, you got your hopes up, you idiot. Past the thunder of his blood in his ears, Shuuhei almost misses that Tousen is speaking to him. Giving an instruction. But even in his state of inner turmoil, his body moves to obey.

Eventually, his brain catches up with why he’s wiping his face. For Tousen to have noticed such a small discrepancy in the imprint Shuuhei leaves in Tousen’s reiryoku… his stupid heart rises back up to its usual place. “Thank you for alerting me, taichou.”

( @njnth )

[kazeshinigami]

(tousen) 'Shuuhei,' he calls, expecting the halting steps. it's the end of a successful mission. he can feel the chills on his skin and know the sky has darkened. he has no more instruction to give but calls the lieutenant over for another purpose. with a tug by the neck, he pulls off his scarf and hands it to shuuhei. 'Put this on.' he waits for the other to receive. '...You're wearing sleeveless, right? Don't catch a cold.'

Maybe it’s the use of his given name that has him jumping-to so quickly upon being called by Tousen. But he does not in the least expect the reason to be Tousen proffering his scarf. Shuuhei imagines he might have a number of bottle rockets shooting off in his heart at this generous gesture.

“Th-Thank you for your concern, taichou!” And he dutifully wraps it around his neck. Having Tousen’s smell so close is… doing things to him, but Shuuhei does his damnedest to stay professional about the whole situation. “I will return this to you as soon as we arrive back at the division,” he promises, if only to check himself from any attempts to keep the garment for his own, selfish reasons.

( @njnth )

[kazeshinigami]

"Surely, you are a reasonable sort of person. /You/ would want Tousen to gain eyesight, wouldn't you?"

“…With all due respect, Kurotsuchi-taichou, it would not be my place to make that kind of decision for Tousen-taichou. He has never bemoaned his lack of sight, never once complained in the fifty years I have known him. My own wants would be selfish and assumptive.”

[kazeshinigami]

(tousen) 'Go take a break.' he's just going to take away the paperwork. no buts or ifs.

A dilemma… he wishes to obey his beloved captain’s orders… but he also has no confidence in the clarity of his vision at present, nor in the stability of his sense of balance. Standing up from his desk at this point is a risk. That’s part of why he had just tried to soldier on with his work, however slowly. Should he just… put his head down here? Will that just make him seem lazy? Agh, it hurts to think. He sighs, despondent and unsure.

( @njnth​ )

[kazeshinigami]

'Hisagi? Are you just standing there?' the captain shook off the blood on his blade, splatter landing by his feet. 'Is he in shock?' he came up to his lieutenant, nodding at the 4th division member to give them a moment after receiving a negative. 'You did good. Every cut landed where it should. You just didn't have the force to push it through. We'll work on that.' (njnth)

Tousen’s returning approach rouses Shuuhei somewhat from his daze of eternally replaying his captain’s (unintentionally multi-meaning) praise. So, in a sense, he had been in a kind of shock — just nothing medically confirmable aside from increased heart-rate and widened pupils and… well. Enough of that. Eyes up, Hisagi.

So he at least manages to look into Tousen’s face as his captain assesses his efforts. It should be comforting to be praised yet more, but… there is also something disheartening in the fact that even his best hadn’t been good enough. He’s still so far behind, so far beneath his captain. Can he really be all that much use like this, he wonders? “…Thank you, taichou. I will put forth my utmost to improve in this area.”

( @njnth )

[kazeshinigami]

please imagine, shuuhei feeling a hand on shoulder and hears a quiet 'Good boy' after he's been holding off a particularly foul adversary. turns around to see tousen and someone from the 4th, whom tousen has brought to tend to shuunhei while he takes out the opponent. (njnth)

Huh. He knows that things are still going on around him. Knows that there’s a member of the Fourth here to treat his injuries. Knows that his captain is about to deal with the foe Shuuhei had failed to dispatch. But everything has gone fuzzy from the moment Tousen had touched his shoulder and spoken softly to him.

Shuuhei doesn’t get it. He had failed to be strong enough on his own. So why… why had Tousen praised him? And, damn it all, why had he seen fit to use a phrase like that? Does his captain have no idea what hearing something like that from someone he admires will do to him?

“Good boy.”

Well, shit. He’s going to have that on repeat in his head for days.

( @njnth )

[kazeshinigami]

¥ 'Tell me honestly, how did the magazine sell this month — before you guys went out and hustle people.' (njnth)

send a ¥ with a command my muse has to obey

Hustling people? Shuuhei only does something like that in his spare time, not… Oh. Tousen is using an idiom to refer to how Shuuhei and some of the seated officers might try to encourage new readership. He had, admittedly, tried to conceal a shortcoming or two in the Bulletin’s fluctuating success. But now he has to come clean.

“The… initial sales dropped slightly from last month. I suppose some people didn’t take interest in the columns we featured in last issue.” Tousen’s own being one of them — which fills Shuuhei with indignation. How can someone not see the wisdom imparted by his captain?

( @njnth​ )

[kazeshinigami]

"Hisagi-kun, your hair is getting very long," Suzumushi comments gently behind a kind smile. How did she know? Some things needed to remain a mystery between them. Nevertheless, she brushes a few dark locks from his eyes. (from the blind cricket aunt :3c )

“Is it?” He checks the length for himself, but ends up no less confused. “It was much longer than this when I was in the Academy, Suzumushi-san. But I guess it has grown a lot since I chopped that all off after graduating.” Still, next to Tousen’s hair, Shuuhei’s own is quite short indeed.

Oh, well, even if he doesn’t understand the intent behind her observation, Shuuhei doesn’t mind Suzumushi’s gentle touch. He wonders if the friend whom Tousen had so cherished had been much like her zanpakuto spirit. But to ask such a thing would be incredibly insensitive, no?

[kazeshinigami]

Just flicks his tongue at him. No reason but Hisagi needn't know it's pointless fun~.

Remind him to mention to Izuru (again) that he has a weird captain…

[kazeshinigami]

"You still can't cook, can you, Hisagi" (from Tousen)

“F… Forgive me, Tousen-taichou. I will heed your instructions more closely.”

[kazeshinigami]

Pats his head, "Good boy."

He narrows his eyes at the Third’s captain. “I don’t think Tousen-taichou would approve of this display of affection, Ichimaru-taichou.”

[kazeshinigami]

"shuuhei!"

a voice, calm and careful from behind, slowly approaches him.

"having so much to do is not always in my favor. i tend to forget certain things that my subordinates deem important. i should be paying better attention and will work hard on being the captain to you that you deserve."

he reaches out for the other take from his hand a gift, neatly wrapped in beautiful flower-petal-print. "however, i did not forget about your birthday. congratulations."

Even with Tousen’s instructions that he should be more mindful of his surroundings, Shuuhei had been so nose-deep in a ledger of the Bulletin’s budget that he he had not clocked his captain’s approach. Thus, he is a little surprised by the direct address (and by his given name, even). As soon as he looks up, recognizing the voice and confirming its source, he stands a little straighter instinctively.

Tousen’s words surprise him. Perhaps that is his own inclination toward hero-worship of his captain, but he often thinks Tousen can do no wrong. But he can always work this admission around into admiration for Tousen’s humility, for his willingness to acknowledge his own areas of potential growth. Truly, Shuuhei thinks, there can be no better captain, even as Tousen himself expresses the desire to improve himself.

To have the anniversary of his own meager existence recognized and congratulated on top of all of that, Shuuhei half-wonders if he had fallen asleep over that ledger and thereby entered a dream. Tousen is wishing him a happy birthday. Tousen is glad that he is here. Shuuhei’s chest swells with delight, though he does his best not to let the emotion get the better of him externally. He manages to keep his hands from shaking as he accepts the gift (Tousen had gotten him a gift!?) and holds it carefully. “I—! Th-Thank you, Tousen-taichou. I’m honored more than I know how to express. I—! Wow. Um…”

He turns and resituates some of the documents covering his desk until he has room to set the gift there so that he can focus on unwrapping it. (Is he hoping to keep the wrapping paper as its own memento graced by Tousen’s fingers? Maybe…) Even before completing that effort, he reiterates: “It means a lot to me that you would do this, Tousen-taichou. Really. I fear words won’t do justice to what it means to me.” Or, rather, the words which he wishes he could utter to express his feelings seem forbidden. All the more reason for him to treasure this gesture.