#《 that's brilliant! why didn't i think of that? 》 {ask memes}

[demonic0angel]

Assistant Jazz au!

Someone records a lovesick Red Hood just ranting about how women who can break him in half are stupidly sexy and posts it to social media. #RelatableRedHood is trending within the week.

(It got long bc I got excited 😭)

The first video goes like this: It starts off with a woman clad in tight leather and a black helmet single-handedly fighting against a group of five men. She fought like a beast, with weapons and guns and on the occasion, her legs as she kicked a man so hard that he had puked his guts out. At one point, she had picked up one by the neck and tossed him to the wall.

The phone camera, shaky and quiet, then turned to face the infamous Red Hood's side profile. He didn't seem to notice that he was being recorded. He had his hand on his helmet-covered chin as he then said, "Do you think if I ask, she'll kill me with her thighs?"

That was when the video cut off. It was posted at 1:32 AM in the morning by an anonymous account with only one tag #RelatableRedHood.

It went stupidly viral. After that, there were more and more videos with the same tag, taken in more and more ridiculous ways to avoid the Red Hood noticing. Gothamites, particular ones from Crime Alley, were all having a great time watching their resident crime lord vigilante make a fool of himself in front of his hot assistant, who hadn't shown any reaction to the recent fame she gained as the woman who owned the legs that could make Red Hood beg for death.

The #RelatableRedHood videos always featured the same thing. Wolf would go about her business and do absolutely nothing out of the ordinary, or Wolf would complete an impossibly awesome feat with her intelligence or skills in weaponry and fighting, and Red Hood would then absolutely lose his mind afterwards.

Viewers both agreed to his thoughts and laughed themselves silly as they watched the infamous crime lord show just how head over heels in love he was with his assistant. Reaction images and memes went viral as the Red Hood simped over his assistant.

Video after video popped up and they were all clearly taken by goons within the Red Hood's gang due to sheer proximity and brilliant timing. Although videos came out somewhat rarely, probably due to Red Hood's perceptiveness, Gothamites gobbled up each one eagerly.

It all reached to a peak when a livestream link from the Official Robins account was posted at midnight.

In it, the Red Hood could be seen ranting and raving to himself in his office, smacking his helmet-covered forehead. An invisible camera captured it all. "Dammit!! Where are these videos coming from?! Who the fuck keeps making them?!"

He was presumably on call because after a moment, he answered an inaudible voice with a shout, "Like hell I do! Of course take it down! Why the hell would I want Wolf to see them?! She doesn't even know my feelings for her!"

Another pause. And then, "I'm not going to confess!! Why would she even like me anyways?!"

Viewers felt sympathetic for their favorite crime lord, but curiously, the livestream did not end as Red Hood continued to pace and mutter to himself angrily.

Their questions were answered as the door to the room opened and Red Hood hurriedly sat down in his seat, looking up at the door. The camera then captured the sight of Wolf striding into the room. She held papers in one hand and a coffee cup in the other.

Red Hood, silent and tense, clicked on a button, presumably disconnecting the call and then reached for the things she was holding. Wolf avoided his hands, placing the items on the table before she detached part of her helmet and placing it next to the papers.

Both the viewers and Red Hood were confused. More images of Red Hood's bewildered posture on the livestream appeared on the internet with #RelatableRedHood, but people were still focused on Wolf's strange actions.

The camera did not reveal any part of Wolf's face as she left the disconnected piece of metal on the side . She went around Red Hood's desk and sat on his lap confidently as the Red Hood froze like a deer in headlights. She took off his helmet without any resistance, tossed it to the floor, and then grabbed him by the lapels to kiss him senseless.

Cheers and celebrations erupted all over Gotham City as if they had suddenly won the lottery.

Unbeknownst to the Gothamites who were nothing but civilian viewers obsessing over Red Hood and Wolf's romance, Red Robin and Oracle were celebrating in the Watchtower with the rest of the Batfamily, who were all cheering loudly as they closed the livestream and then celebrated for successfully bringing together their brother and his crush.

Mission: Fairytale Ending was a success!

[the-ace-with-spades]

My train ride thoughts:

You know all those memory loss fics where they have an accident and forget the past five years they've been married and still think they're rivals? Can we move it slightly to the left and reverse a bit?

Jake and Bradley dated from 2006 to 2010. Bradley did the breaking up - in a brilliant act of self-sabotage, not because he didn't love him, but because he loved him enough to think Jake deserved someone better than Bradley.

Fast forward to 2017 and the mission training - Jake is the one to have an accident, not Javy, and has to eject. He has a head injury (among other things) and is medavac'ed.

He won't fly the mission, but he's mostly okay. However, the first thing Jake asks Javy when they finally let him see him is, "Where is Bradley? Why is he not here? Did something happen to him?" which opens a whole other can of worms.

Turns out, Jake thinks it's the summer of 2010, about three months before he and Bradley had broken up. He didn't say anything in front of the medical staff because his mind still thinks DADT is in place and he doesn't want any of them in trouble. So Javy has to break it to him that 1) it's 2017, which Jake's reply to that is just, Yeah, you looked kinda old (rude!) and 2) well, DADT no longer exists and no one can officially penalize him for being gay.

Which is enough to make Jake cry. And Javy doesn't continue with the whole 'So, Bradley broke up with you 7 years ago' because Jake starts mumbling different things like, We can get married. Oh god, are we married already? Where's my ring? Did I lose it in the accident? Where's Bradley, why did they not call my Next of Kin?

Because, you know, even in 2010 he thought he and Bradley are forever, surely they must still be together and probably married. Which, Javy shouldn't be surprised because he knows Jake had a whole wedding planner, children's names list, house decor theme, and god knows what prepared for them.

And Javy is not going to break his heart, AGAIN, so he chickens out and instead calls a nurse to tell her all about Jake's amnesia. They take Jake away for more tests and exams and just as he is rolled away, he shouts at Javy to 'Tell Bradley I'm okay when he comes in, he worries so bad when hospitals are involved'.

So Javy calls Bradley. Just calls him and tells him to come to the hospital and tell amnesiac Jake they've broken up because he's not explaining it to Jake himself. In truth, Javy doesn't even know why Bradley broke up with Jake but he didn't give him a reason beyond 'we just don't match' and Javy had been also pretty sure Bradley was as much of a goner as Jake and he hates Bradley for making him be so wrong.

Javy avoids the topic as much as he can, but he's not actually expecting Bradley to show up - why would he care now, right? - but just as Jake starts drilling the question, Bradley steps into the room..

Not only does he step in, he lets Jake hug him straight away

Bradley's also brought a bag of clothes and they must be his own because where the heck would he find Jake's and, oh, look at that, that's Texas Cowboys pajamas and Jake asks, "I still have this thing? God, it's so worn out," and Javy chokes on his own tongue. Sure enough, there's a mix of t-shirts that must belong to both Jake and Bradley and a new pair of sweats and those socks must be Bradshaw's because there's no way Jake would wear plane-themed socks.

"Do you have my wedding ring? Or did I lose it forever somewhere in the field?" Jake asks and Bradshaw looks spooked before the bastard recovers and covets under Jake's sad eyes and say, "No, you didn't, our rings are still in the locker room on the base."

And Javy just--stares at him.

"I promise I'll bring them tomorrow."

Javy stares harder.

Why did you not tell him? is what Javy spits out as soon as they leave the room and Bradley's reply is just Why didn't you, huh? and they just stand there pointing at each other like in the Spiderman meme.

Well, Bradshaw will have to explain himself because he sure as hell isn't going to magically produce wedding rings tomorrow morning.

And Javy is proven fucking wrong again because Bradshaw brings TWO wedding rings, with their NAMES engraved and a little thin band with Jake's birthstone that matches the wedding band perfectly.

Javy is speechless but Jake just shines with, oh, they're so pretty, put it back on me, I knew I have good taste.

And Bradshaw is all innocent when he says, "Actually, I chose them. They're made from my parents' melted wedding rings."

And Javy can't tell if he made that up on the spot or not. [He did not.]

And so the lies fucking go on. Jake is discharged, but not for flying, and to keep up the little charade, Javy packs all his things and brings them to Bradshaw's place - where Jake will be staying until they come back from the mission.

And of course, Bradshaw and his--whatever his issues with Maverick are make it onto the Dagger Team. Javy can only imagine the tearful goodbye 2010 Jake would give his married man, sweet husband Bradley.

"You've gotta fucking come back because if you don't, he's going to fucking find out he's not your husband when the will comes out."

And Bradshaw, just like that, replies, "He's the only person in my will anyway."

(Dunno how this would end tho, this is where I had to change trains and I forgot after...)

[maranigai]

For the character meme. I love your hornsent OCs and thus wanted to know your thoughts on Messmer!

Ah, thanks for the kind words about my guys, I love them and I appreciate it so much! And what about Messmer... ho-ho, that's a tricky one. Anyways, let's go.

favorite thing about them

First of all, I have a lifelong weakness for morally ambiguous red-haired spearsmen, as sir Ornstein can confirm. But fine, that was a joke, let's get serious for a moment. The key thing for Messmer, the core of his story and his character, is love. He loves his mother - quite simple, isn't it? But in fact no, it isn't simple. Because he loves her, more than anything else in the world, more than himself. This love is bigger than any destruction and harm it brings, even to Messmer himself, this love is the reason for all things, it's the basis of all things. And Messmer can't hurt what he loves so much, he can't deny this love, he can't deny his mother, because if he does, what's next? It was everything. Literally everything. So of course he does things for her, some things that he likes, some things that he doesn't like, some things that he would never do if not her. I think I can relate with this after a fashion, but this is not what made me love his story and his character. I love it because in the end of the day that love was hollow. It wasn't enough to overcome fear, hatred and vengeance. It wasn't enough for Marika to save Messmer, and he realizes it...

least favorite thing about them

...too late. I don't believe that Messmer sympathized with the hornsent in a slightest during his crusade, but I do believe that he had his doubts that grew as time - and war - went on. I'm sure he, unlike most of the crusaders, knew the truth about the shamans, about his mother's vengeance - and his mother was everything to him, right? He had no reason to sympathize with savages capable of such horrific acts - and so he didn't, completely ignoring how horrific and savage he himself was. It was for his mother and the new civilized world she was building, so what's wrong with a little hypocrisy here? But the war went on and on and on, and the lands were shrouded in shadows, and the mother stopped answering, and Messmer and his army were left in oblivion, alone with the deserved hatered, far from everything they had fought for. Their purpose got blurred, their guidance faded, and I believe that's when Messmer began to ask himself - why? Why is he going on, why is he fighting? And he could have answered that question - but he didn't, because the answer was "there's no reason", because answering meant acknowledging that nothing he had done really mattered, that all his love and suffering was a waste. Eventually, he was not strong enough - brave enough - to admit it before his dying breath, which was too late. I can't say I dislike his ending (I'm writing it in this paragraph mainly because I'm too curious to see an alternative), but I still wish he could overcome his fear earlier, when it could still change something - though it's a FromSoft game, so obviously it's not an option given their brilliant taste in tragedy.

favorite line

It's always hard to pick favourite lines in a FromSoft game, because... idk, I just love the dialogue and the voice acting in these games. But if I had to choose, it would be...

Embrace thine oblivion, as shall I.

Just because how utterly summarizing it is, for both the character himself and for the whole Land of Shadow.

brOTP

My glorious boar-riding man Gaius! I just love how Messmer, mommy's personal machine for eradicating everything graceless, befriended artificial (!) graceless (!!) dude who was persecuted by almost everyone in the Lands Between and made him his deputy. It's also mentioned that they had common ground in that they both were cursed from birth, so their friendship seems to come from a genuine understanding of each other's struggle. In general, I think that this is an interesting adittion to Messmer's overall portrait and a bittersweet dynamic of two cursed beings finally finding understanding in one another.

OTP

Rellana, because I'm a hopeless fan of the "liege and their a bit too loyal knight" dynamic. However, I hc their relationships as unresolved/platonic because both of them put their duty in the crusade first, and it's generally not a smart move to show open love when you're surrounded by people who'd gladly take away everything you love as revenge. I also don't like it when Rellana is reduced to just Messmer's gf instead of a fearsome sorceress and military commander in her own right.

nOTP

To be honest, I have yet to see a pairing with him that would straight up frustrate me. For the most part, my reaction is just indifference. But if I had to pick one, it would probably be Godwyn/Messmer, just because there are so many so much more interesting dynamics for both of them.

random headcanon

He was the son of Radagon and Marika, born during Marika's marriage to Godfrey, and was officially recognized as a bastard (this is why he's sir Messmer and not lord Messmer). In the beginning Godfrey wasn't a big fan of him for obvious reasons, but over time their relationship became more tender; by the time of Godfrey's exile Messmer sincerely viewed him as father, even without blood relation.

unpopular opinion

I don't thing he had a close relationship with Melina - in fact, I don't think he was even aware of her existence. Fandom often portrays them as twins for some reason, but the "younger sister" can be centuries younger when we're talking about demigods - and in my hcs, she was. So no cute Melina&Messmer fanart for me.

song i associate with them

Белая гвардия - Песня рядового

I know, I know, the language and all that, but just trust me, the lyrics hits hard considering Messmer.

favorite picture of them

I really love this trailer-based art by IvyJinna

[homoeroticgrappling]

"I'd like to address David Lynch has passed. That was a huge influence on Danhausen so I would be- (is remiss the right word? I don't know) if I did not say some words about him and his inspirations to Danhausen and I think a lot of you based on seeing how many posts have been posted about him that I didn't even know- and people he affected or inspired, it seemingly is everyone which is rightfully so because in a world that is purely sanitised garbage for the most part as far as art and movies and films and musics and all that go (seemingly at least), he was authentically himself, he was unapologetically himself- why would he apologize? He was weird but because it was authentically weird, weird is good. So. Danhausen obviously was inspired by his hair, Conan O'Brien of course, David Lynch, great beautiful heads of hair. You know, I would like to hopefully be able to leave the wrestling business eventually having known he inspired someone to be weird and authentically themselves as David inspired Danhausen partially to do so and all of that good stuff...

What I'm trying to say: be yourself. What is it, focus on that hole, the donut hole, and eat a donut. That's what he always said! So try to do that, be yourself, create arts, create music, do your performances, be yourself and you know... Hopefully we get a new batch of weirdos inspired in his world to create and innovate and inspire.

I stumbled a bunch on all my words but hopefully this kind of can get put in some type of combustible ball together and mesh, make sense in your brain. Then all of my mush mouthed words will spew out of my brain waves into your brain waves and inspire you to do something stupid and creative and also let's celebrate our living legends. Y'know like the Conan O'Briens, these brilliant minds who are themselves, and John Carpenters and John Waters and lets celebrate them while they're with us, it's wonderful! We're so lucky to be alive in this time where we got to experience the David Lynches and the Conan O'Briens and the John Carpenters and the Paul Reubens and the Elviras and the everyone- the John Waters, so y'know let's keep it up! We need it now more than ever to have cool and weird and gross and stupid and smart at the same time, that's something that Conan O'Brien said during his last performance on his television show, he found a way to blend a perfect melt of smart and stupid and I think that's very important to do. A part of what David Lynch has said too is there's that famous funny "meme" where it says can you elaborate [on] that and he says no and I think that's wonderful because oftentimes I get asked what Danhausen is.

I do not like to tell people because I think everyone should interpret themselves what I am to you, which is what he said about his art and his films is let you decide. If Danhausen is some type of greedy billionaire vampire to you, then that's what I am. If I'm some sort of greedy billionaire demon then that's what I am to you. If I am some sort of a handsome billionaire aristocat- well that's from a Disney film aristocrat that's the word I'm looking for- to you then that's what I am. So I will be anything you need me to be and what I am to you and how you connect with me, that is what I am. And I am what I am, that's all I am, Popeye. Alright anyways I've rambled on long enough, hopefully I again meshed these words well enough I probably did not, I stumbled I rambled, but we move on we move forward. Everyone be weird more now than ever. Yeah, I think that made sense."

Danhausen, in his latest vlog

[itsybitsylemonsqueezy]

So, like everyone else, I'm also getting eaten alive by the Arcane season 2 finale. It may even have awakened the Writing Beast from its deep slumber. Some here's some disorganized Jayvik thoughts under the cut:

Where the hell's my "They had us going in the first half" meme? Like, am I the only one who made it through episode 8 and the first half of episode 9 with the sick-to-the-stomach dread that it was going to crash and burn? I'll be honest, I did not think they had the chops to pull this off and yet! I stand gloriously evolved corrected! God damn!

And for that matter, where's my "Why We Have To Break Up/Why We Have To Stay Together/Why We're Getting Divorced/etc" meme too. I think that is warranted. True, Jayce and Viktor never really sell you on the divorce, but I think that just makes it funnier.

I can't fucking believe that hanahaki almost destroyed the universe. Like, that's canon, that's real. That's just what fucking happened, oh my goddddd. Viktor, jesus christ dude.

To be quite honest, I think there is a strongly justified argument that Jayce thought they were in a relationship the entire time. Canon does not disprove this. Think about it, he always refers to Viktor as his partner, he fucking introduces him that way to everyone he meets. If he just assumed that maybe Viktor was ace since Viktor never initiates touch or seems to ask for physical intimacy, he might have just thought this is what Viktor was cool with. Viktor never contradicts or asks to clarify the "partner" title. Jayce also doesn't go out looking for Mel, he kinda fell into it. And he might have assumed that if Viktor had a problem with it, he'd say something. Which in fact echoes one of the main problems in their relationship! Consistently, Jayce thinks Viktor will speak up for himself, for his needs and wants, for when he needs help, because he loves and respects Viktor and believes they are equals. Why wouldn't Viktor come to him if he needed something? Why would Viktor hide from him? And Viktor, equally consistently, literally would rather die than tell you he's dying. He will not, ever, disclose what he wants or needs and it has never occurred to him that Jayce would expect him to say if he needs something. Like, there's blame on both sides for why this fell apart. And they both assumed they understood each other perfectly and what's truly fucked is on an atomically intimate level they do, but on a higher practical, logistical level, they just talk right past each other. Viktor assumes partner only means professionally and Jayce assumes that Viktor would ask. The misunderstanding is literally that simple.

And then think about Skye! My god, she walks into this and takes one look at Viktor and instantly knows what's Wrong With Him™. And, bafflingly, Jayce doesn't! It's painfully clear to her that Viktor is incapable of thinking about anyone besides Jayce, that he's dying and refusing help at every turn, that he's beautiful and brilliant and never ever hears it when people tell him that. She sees all this instantly and, with dawning horror, sees that Jayce carries uncommonly strong affection for him. So how, in the name of all that is holy, has Jayce not noticed? How could he be this blind? And, this Skye probably didn't know, but Jayce is so fucking in love with everything Viktor does and is, he truly doesn't see the problems until it's too late. It's not that he doesn't care, quite the opposite in fact. And poor Skye just sits with that knowledge. It's arguable that she selfishly didn't explain to Viktor, but it's just as arguable, that if she had tried, Viktor still wouldn't have heard her. She knew him very well, I want to give her credit for that.

It's tragic, but also so fucking funny. "Well, I think I'm in a relationship? I call him my partner all the time and we do everything together. He makes me so happy. Pretty sure he's ace tho? And maybe he thinks we have an open relationship? I told him I slept with someone and he just kinda nodded? He looked real pale and sick, but he always looks like that. I dunno, maybe sexual stuff just grosses him out too much. I won't bring it up again. As long as he's happy, I'm happy." vs "Well, my soulmate is currently courting someone else. *painful cough* He's probably drinking with her, kissing her, *hack* making love to her. *spits blood* They're probably in bed right now, all warm skin and soft sheets. *more coughing* He's probably the happiest he's ever been. Much better than taking me to bed. Why would he want me anyway? I'm falling apart. *wracking cough and wheezing* So this is fine. This is fine. I'm fine. *coughs up more blood* I'm Fine." Fucking hilarious.

I love how much they're the same person. The only difference in their perspectives are their life experiences. They're both stubborn as the day is long, single-minded, principled, prone to fixation and overworking, desperate to be of use, to contribute, and utterly useless without each other. They get fascinated by the same things, but will gravitate towards different applications, different ends. They both have strong and meaningful relationships with women that are/were potentially romantic. They're both miserable when they're alone and their thinking will warp without someone to talk to. Loneliness haunts Jayce just as much as it haunts Viktor. It's just that Jayce came from a loving home and people were willing to give him a chance. Jayce learned how to be charming because he was expected to be charming, he had places to go and be charming. Viktor pulled himself out of abject poverty and fought for half the chances Jayce was given out of sheer brilliance and determination. Viktor has always had himself and no one else, he knows what he can do on his own, but his whole world changed when he found someone he could do it with. And discovered there was much more they could do together than he'd ever be able to do alone. There's nothing worse than being alone again after you've found that. They both know this.

Ugh, more later but, sdkfjhskjdhfkjsadfhjksda THEM

[anneapocalypse]

16 for choosing violence >:3 (unless you did that one and i missed it, then dealer's choice)

🔥 Choose Violence Ask Meme 🔥

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

That One Zenos Short Story, specifically. I get why people like Zenos on a general level even if he is a character type that does very little for me. (Post-Stormblood, anyway. I think he's a perfectly good villain in Stormblood.) I have oft seen it lamented that people don't understand Zenos because this incredibly important and illuminating piece of canon about his childhood is buried in a short story in an out-of-print book that no one reads.

Fortunately, someone has posted the story on reddit. I'm a lorehound, and it's not long, so I read it.

I was generally unimpressed.

I'm actually choosing violence on this one, you've all been warned. I'm sorry, Zenos lovers. 😛 I truly am. I hope we can still hang. Long-winded elaboration on why I think the story is bad under the cut.

From the minute go, this story attempts to impress upon the reader that Zenos's whole deal is that he's just such an incredible, unbelievable genius that nearly every other person bores him to death because they're just so stupid compared to him. That's his problem, you see: he's just too smart for everyone! From a young age he has been burdened by his own genius.

So we are told. We are then shown this kid's unsurpassed genius in no meaningful way.

This line in particular is infuriating to me:

Even had his tutors not treated him with deference, Zenos had always had the better of them, regularly surprising them with brilliance.

What brilliance? What are these brilliant insights with which he so dazzled his learned instructors? We aren't given even a single one.

But none of that matters to the author, because they just need us to accept that Zenos is an unsurpassed genius and that's why he's Like This, so that we can move on the part of the story they actually want to tell: the part with swords in it.

And I'm not sold. I just don't buy it. If he was so bored and disengaged from his lessons, how was he offering his instructors brilliant insights? And if he was responding in this way, if his teachers were able to recognize his genius, why didn't they act accordingly and move him into more advanced lessons? In his position, even in his parents' absence, why would his aptitude have been ignored?

We're also told earlier that "he preferred the silent company of books" to that of his instructors. Okay, so what books? Clearly even at that young age he did have access to something that held his attention, but the story rushes past that point without showing us, because to actually do so would undercut the point the story thinks it's making: that nothing had ever held his attention before the Corvosi stranger enters his life. Except, something clearly did, because he was reading books independently of his lessons. And it's made clear to us later that Zenos basically has the run of the royal library, because after meeting the stranger, he starts tearing through it for books on combat and no one stops him.

The thing about kids in my experience, and especially particularly bright kids, is they're generally pretty curious. Smart kids can certainly suffer from boredom, but it's usually because they not being given access to learning and activities that are stimulating at their level. When they have those resources at their disposal, they are not bored. They are voracious. They want to learn, and they are excited to share what they've learned with anyone willing to listen--even those who might not share their aptitudes. You know this if you've ever had a bright child excitedly infodump to you about their special interest that's a little over your head. They don't care! Show even the slightest interest and they are thrilled to share.

Intelligence undirected doesn't actually mean very much. Even the most brilliant kid in the world is not born reciting random facts or magically understanding complex systems they've never been exposed to, like you see with Genius Kids™ in bad movies. A child may have an aptitude for learning, and they may learn knowledge or skills at a rate that shocks the adults around them, but they do still need to learn, and they need to want to learn.

Hilariously, one of the comparisons that comes to mind is Matilda--another fictional character who becomes extremely powerful thanks in part to the ennui of her upbringing by neglectful and indifferent adults. Matilda's intelligence is an undeniable part of her character and one Dahl clearly intends to be there, but it's an intelligence that is shown to the reader. We see Matilda find her way to the library; we not only see which books she checks out and reads on her own, we get to hear some of her thoughts on these adult books so we actually know how she is processing them as a small child.

But with Zenos, we start with this contradictory picture of a kid who is both a voracious reader and utterly bored by everything, dazzlingly brilliant in his lessons while also completely detached from them. It's a very common pitfall with a writer trying to write a Smart Character (especially a smart child character) without putting much thought into how their intelligence actually shows itself.

I simply do not buy that a kid as smart as Zenos is supposed to be, with the kind of access to information and learning that he plainly has at his disposal (considering how quickly he's able to track down the secrets of the Unyielding Blade once he starts giving a shit) would be as bored and disinterested in everyone around him as we're meant to believe he is at the beginning. Like, that doesn't actually convince me he's a genius. It just makes me think he's an incurious twit who thinks he's already above it all and doesn't care to learn more.

So is Zenos actually brilliant, or does he just believe all other people are beneath him? Is his boredom actually due to his intelligence, or is he just terminally incurious until someone hits him hard enough? The author doesn't really seem to know, or care. We're just supposed to accept that he's smart.

It's lazy. It's such lazy writing, and as a reader I honestly feel kind of insulted by it.

To be entirely fair, I do recognize one particular part of this story that I think is probably pretty important to Zenos's character and which I can understand why fans would be frustrated that people don't see, and that's this:

Zenos continued. “Second, battle offers no euphoria, despite what the tales may claim. Deep down I had always known this, yet I find myself disappointed nonetheless.” He tossed the crystal at his opponent’s corpse. “Your payment for these two lessons.” So it was that Zenos yae Galvus’s first true battle came to an end. Without further ceremony, he quit the training hall, washed, and put on the fresh clothes. By the time he sat at table for his evening repast he had quite forgotten the face of his tutor. And he settled into bed, he prayed as earnestly as a boy of his years might that one day he would cross paths with a worthy foe and feel such exhilaration as the heroic epics promised.

I can see how a surface look at Zenos solely in the game might cause someone to conclude that he delights in violence or killing for its own sake, and I can see how hearing that take would be frustrating for anyone who has dug deeper into his character and understand that it's not the case. Violence is the means through which Zenos seeks exhilaration, but it's clear that most violence doesn't actually grant it. The Corvosi swordsman piqued his interest, but ultimately disappointed him. He doesn't actually desire victory, but an equal.

And I wrote about before, but this is what actually needles me so much about having to fight Zenos one last time in Ultima Thule: he wins. He gets what he wants. He never wanted victory. Had he beaten the Warrior of Light, it would have been the ultimate disappointment.

There's something interesting in that. I get it. I can see it. But in both the game and in this story I'm faced with a premise I don't buy in order to get there.

[dribs-and-drabbles]

Observations on ep 12:

Begin Again...are we going to be back where we started...like the tweet in ep 3 suggested?

Top asking the right question - What are Ray and Boeing playing at exactly? Also Ray-pot-calling-the-kettle-black a bit there - he loved Mew and Sand at the same time...at least they addressed it.

Another kiss for the charts! Mond/First! Woop woop!

It's the both hands meme in action!!

And another kiss!! Mond/Khaotung! 🔥

Awww shame they didn't follow through with that.

How can Ray be so sure about Boeing's intentions, and how can Sand trust Boeing?! I don't get it.

Sorry Boston, your degree would be much better than getting these friendships back.

(For a moment there I thought that was Pat's tie-dye vest 😅)

Ok Nick and Boston are adorable.

I think Nick is Mark's best role to date. And also Boston for Neo too.

It's cute that Ray wants to defend Sand but Sand shouldn't be kept in the dark about what Boeing did with Top and Mew.

Aaaaaand there's another shirt I saw in another show earlier today...one more for the Thai Communal Wardrobe collection!

Mew using his manipulative ability for good.

Oh that was actually delicious. I love that Sand got behind the dog metaphor.

Oh god the opposites... Pat 'I always let my boyfriend win' and Ray 'I always win' 😂

I really hope Nick knows they're in an open relationship. But also... Yet another kiss! Mond/Neo! Mond is going to leapfrog all these other men in the charts 😂 @ranchthoughts - not to sound weird but I always think of you when these actors/actresses kiss 😂

They did talk...so Nick just needs to get in there and we'll finally get the threesome the show has been hinting at.

Awww shucks. Now Nick's upset. Maybe he should have chosen Dan... Maybe he will? Can we go back to adorable Nick/Boston??

I've sort of been in Nick's position and I think the best thing for him is to end things with Boston already, and not because of the promiscuity, but because it's harder to end something later when you have grown even more attached to them.

Aaaaaand yet another item of clothing from the Thai Communal Wardrobe...I'll need time to figure out where I've seen this one before though...

Didn't Boston stop Mew in a previous ep just like that in the kitchen? Or was it different characters?

The BEST dare. Again, Mew using his devilishness for good. Because we get...

ANOTHER KISS! First/Force!! 🎉

I feel like JoJo is being Oprah with this ep - 'You get a kiss. And you get a kiss. YOU ALL GET KISSES!

And I feel like their clothes are more back to how they were at the start...maybe only Nick (and a little bit Boston) feel like there hasn't been a return. And maybe that reflects the way these couples have ended up - whether we like it or not - and also does sort of imply that the tweet in ep 3 was sort of foreshadowing. And maybe Nick and Boston in lighter colours and against that lighter background suggests more of a fresh start and freedom for them, as difficult as it might feel now (and as much as we're not happy with this conclusion)... Edit: I posted this then read this brilliant post by @jemmo with fantastic tags by @grapejuicegay which feels like it explains this little interpretation much better.

A peck!? We only got a peck from April and Cheum?! smh

I think Mew's being a bit harsh with Boston...but also Boston is better off without them tbh. Go to New York and live your best life.

MIIIIIIIIIIX!!! The BEST ending. Absolutely A+. And @grapejuicegay wrote so well on why it was so good. And damn, he looked good (but also wearing something that's been used before 😂).

[isagrimorie]

For the ship ask game: root/shaw

ship ask game meme

Ship It

What made you ship it?

Mors Praematura. I think that's the start of it for me, the first meeting did plants seeds but it was Mors Praematura that did it and every little interaction after.

Shaw lending her her gun and then going: "Okay, that was kind of hot."

And then: "Don't make me look bad."

After that, we were off to the races.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

I like how they're unconventional, and on another show with different actors, it could be one note and flat.

It's lightning in the bottle, the writers weren't intending for them to happen but saw it anyway and wrote towards it. Also, both of them are in some spectrum in the DSM-V from one end to the other.

But in the end, I loved that Root loved Shaw exactly as she is. She didn't want to change Shaw or fix her or make her better.

Root loved Shaw for who she is. And it's why the Machine loved Shaw too.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

For some reason this must be said but: Shaw is also just as smart as Root is, in different ways. There was some fanon that made it into fic that wrote Shaw as only the Brawn Jock.

Shaw presents herself as a jock but she's as nerdy. She's just not computer nerdy. Shaw was a brilliant doctor before she was kicked out of the medical program for bullshit reasons.

[universal-kitty]

I saw the jellyfish ask meme, so...

crystal, moon, pink meanie, sea wasp + upside-down jellyfish with Rendacted?

Jellyfish Themed Asks

How does your F/O act in public? And in contrast, how do they act when they’re in private with you?

[ Due to source material, minors + ageless DNI w/ this post! I will block you. ]

In public, Ren seems to have a persistent case of RBF (resting bitch face). Anyone else will not get an ounce of his attention, much less...anything, really. They're super closed off like that.

If cosplaying Haruko, they'll be more patient with me around...but is still quick to show their distaste, if I'm not paying attention and/or am not nearby.

In private, though?! Biggest cuddlebug. Lots more smiles, touchy, involved in whatever I'm doing... Big fan of parallel play, especially if they can peek in on what I'm doing. Hanging out is their whole thing, really. And cuddles.

If you had to compare your F/O to any sort of cosmic entity (planets, meteors/comets, stars, black holes, etc), what would you pick and why?

OH, this is such a good question?!? For Ren... Assuming he's being a Good Boi, I think a comet would suit him pretty well! Flying back, a blaze of glory... He's trying to be something eye-catching and admiring...to one person. Ice cold, a brilliant show of life... Idk. Something about it has his energy, and I'm not explaining it well enough rn. LOL!

Bad Boi Ren gets a black hole as something most like them. Devouring all to get what they want. Devoid of light, but seeking it and creating a show of the destruction. (One that no one has to see...)

Tell us all about why your F/O loves you! All about why you’re their special person!

It was a childhood crush that persisted! Simple as that... While also not?

Kept an eye on me as we grew up. Even occasionally went to the same school! Although I didn't really...notice. Bad memory and face blindness? Man. They definitely didn't have a lot of good luck pursuing me... Plus-! The many fictional characters I liked over the years!! They really tried to emulate a few of them, but it was...a whole thing, again. Aha...

But-! Enough story mentions! Why am I so loved by this silly lil guy?! (He's 6'5" but shh.)

Cause I'm... Me. I don't have to be anyone else, do anything else. I want to game with him all day? He's got the funds to keep us stable while we do that. Do I wanna find work to do? Shit, okay; he'll help find something that accommodates every need I want fulfilled.

If I'm happy, fulfilled, and content? Love and care for them? That's all Ren could ask for. Anything else is just extra aspects to love.

If you’ve ever had moments where you felt invisible/insignificant, how has your F/O helped through them? How do you help your F/O through those moments?

I...go through this unfortunately often. It boggles their mind to imagine me in that way, much less knowing I feel it...but Ren does their best.

Lots of comforting words, cuddling under my favorite blanket, hot chocolate... Honestly, anything I need. As well as working on my self-esteem over time. Letting me continue to think of myself as lesser is something they won't stand for.

...Ironic, cause he's felt the same, if not similar. 👀 I've had to prove it to him over time, but... That's worked! Hell, I had the job of prying his true self out from fake personas and cosplays! He deserves to be loved as he truly is!!!

But y'know. Work on both sides, and all that. Ehehe.

What’s your F/O’s favorite way to relax with you?

Literally. Anything. Cuddles, eating together, cooking together, dates, picnics- If we're together, then it's his favorite thing. Picking just one thing? They'd never.

[riacte]

okay so this is an odd ask but i was in martyn’s chat talking about appreciating false and also false & martyn as a fun dynamic and someone mentioned ‘oooh riacte on tumblr talks a lot about false and martyn interacting’ and i’ve been thinking about ren martyn false weirdass trio for the last couple of weeks so. hi :] this stream has driven me insane i would love your thoughts on them

HIIIIII wait I've been perceived in Martyn's chat lmao?? Do you have a screenshot or something 😭 hilarious that I've gotten the reputation.

Also HIIIIII WELCOME TO THE CLOWN CIRCUS there's a whole. gang. of us out here. Obsessing over a trio we invented and eventually became real. We have AUs and two fics on Ao3 and everything.

Okay Ren False Martyn. Time to pull up my False joins Dogwarts AU from June 2021. They were non-existent back then but y'know how Trafficblr makes connections from seemingly nothing? Yeah.

False is known as the Queen of Hearts. Ren is the Red King and Martyn is the Hand. Clearly there's some red theme royalty thing going on here. Also everyone's brainwaves were somehow aligned and we all thought False would ally with Ren if she was in Third Life- wow I wonder why we all thought that [False and Ren do-not-separatism]. So yay Dogwarts AU and we (Renchanting fans) got really annoying by putting trio stuff in her tag when she was otherwise canonically unrelated 😭 (probably the only time we spammed the tag). Ren and his two sword wielding sassy green blonds. They are so funny.

And then July 2021 hit and we got the three of them in a MCC team, Purple15, and the trio FINALLY existed yippee. But mere months later, MCC17 hit, which was the infamous fanon divorce arc bc that was the first time False and Ren didn't team together in MCC (when they were both in) and Ren was with Martyn so we had so many distracted boyfriend memes and I wrote an entire divorce crackfic which is my anonymous masterpiece.

Then we got Mint Maids with Joel in MCC19 (December) which was also really fun. And then fast forward to this wack ass stream which I can't even start to wrap my head around.

By the way there's also the Space Opera AU ❤️💚💙 which is about the three of them as main characters (yippeeee) and it has its own extensive lore but I don't have the energy to explain it rn. But it has shipping and the three of them go crazy and spopera False and Martyn tear each other to shreds it's brilliant.

Sorry that I'm not wording very well my brain juices have been DRAINED by the stream. So feel free to send asks bc I am indeed obsessed with them and can probably talk more when I've recovered and GDHGHDGHSGDHHGHDGHGDHGD renfalsemartyn SLAY and it's been 2.5 YEARS AND WE STILL DON'T HAVE A PROPER TRIO NAME but it's okay <3 maybe we'll get it this stream <3

[brendaonao3]

The Forge, Death Takes a Holiday or The Offer! I'd love to hear about any or all of these WIP's! 😍

HIHI!!! Sorry - again - for answering these late <3

For the WIP Meme (where I get to talk about my insane number of WIPs to anyone who asks)

The Forge (Superbat)

Oh man, I feel awful about this one, because I've been promising @susiecarter I would finish it for...Idk, 3 years? 4 years? now - I'm an awful friend. :D

But, well, I'll just put the my initial word vomit to Susie here to explain the idea behind it:

Bruce would make a great Hephaestus (SUPER smart and misunderstood and thinks he's flawed!) and just picture Clark as Aphrodite (as this symbol of hope and love and beauty and making people believe in themselves and be BETTER)

and there's no way a god like that would be interested in anyone like Bruce - i mean, who would stick a creature of light and beauty in a literal CAVE

so, start like the OG myth and they're already married, either for political reasons or Zeus was just being a dick - but they've never met because Bruce doesn't leave his cave ever since The Tragedy

And Clark doesn't feel this big need to get to know his spouse, why should he, he's beautiful and young and the god of love and hope, he has better things to do

But say Clark either pisses off Zeus or Hera or Ares or maybe he makes a bet (which was something Aphrodite did) that he could get anyone to fall in love with him

And someone (Diana bc she would want to take Clark down a peg) is all, well, what about your husband, and Clark's all pfft easy peasy he hides in his cave all the time, give me a real challenge

And bc the gods are the gods and are capricious as fuck, they're all, okay, well, what if you didn't have your glimmer and you had to make him fall for you posing as a human

Oh and you only have...let's be generous...six months...and Clark is all, i can do it in 3

And they don't mention (of course) that Clark will be STUCK there the entire time, so no sneaking off to be all beautiful and adored and godlike (because Clark is very good at his job, but he's a little out of touch and in danger of becoming a total asshole, so everyone thinks this will teach him humility)

And of course, Bruce is going to be his usual grumpy and pissed off and brilliant self who suffers no fools, so yeah, and also happens to take his marriage vows seriously (because he takes everything seriously)

So good luck Clark!

Death Takes A Holiday (Steve/Bucky)

I should probably just say this one is abandoned by this point, which is a shame, because I got about 19k written before I stalled out. But it was basically my take on the Hades/Persephone story (Bucky as Hades, Steve in the Persephone role, still male) mixed in with a bit of the plot from the film Heaven Can Wait - ie, Steve gets stuck Hades' realm because his thread was accidentally cut a second too soon, so he's not quite dead, not quite alive, and no one can figure out what to do with him, least of all Bucky :D

The Offer (HangMav & HangRoosMav)

This is straight up a sequel to the end of The Bet where Mav invited Hangman to join him and Rooster in bed - only Hangman decides to make Mav (and Rooster) work for it, and they all make another bet that Mav can get Hangman into their bed within 48 hours (essentially) without either touching Hangman OR doing anything seductive (ie, no dirty talk, no dick pics, no suggestive flirting) :D

[sporkandpringles]

does that mean instead of gaston it's. gastonn

omg YESS

referring to this post

[heylindragonofmetal]

WHAT TRAGIC CHARACTER FROM ANCIENT GREEK LITERATURE ARE YOU?

pentheus

you are pentheus from the bacchae by euripides, and you hold yourself so tightly wound together and so perfectly in place that even the slightest push will make you shatter. you are determined, you are headstrong, and you are addicted to pushing yourself to your farthest limits just to see when you'll snap. you find comfort in tradition, order, and authority, because that's where you are allowed to be blind to the darkness inside you. once in a while, give into the temptation and the chaos you keep denying yourself. it's the only way to not be afraid anymore.

Tagged by: @xiaolindude

Tagging: anyone who hasnt done it yet!

[just-another-frender-blog]

Out of curiosity, how would you say that Bender deconstructs toxic masculinity and robot tropes? 🤔 Bender having a "normal" human voice definitely applies to the second one. It was a brilliant decision because his character wouldn't have worked if he droned on like a typical robot.

This is a great question, thank you for asking it!

I want to preface this by saying that my interpretations regarding Futurama are unique to me. They stem from my love of critical analysis of fiction, and I really love overthinking fiction (my parents think I'm annoying af for this). I also think that all forms of interpretations of fiction are important and that I don't think my interpretations are canon or factual. They're just how I perceive the show and these characters.

Before I watched Futurama, I thought I would hate Bender. I usually don't like characters like Bender very much; I had this idea that he was nothing more than this stereotypical asshole. The only thing I knew about him was that he threw his son into Hell without hesitation and that alt-right people on Twitter use him for memes. When I actually started watching, I was really impressed because even though he is an asshole, the show takes great lengths to emphasize that he genuinely cares about people other than himself.

Bender works so well for me because he's so evil and awful, which is exaggerated to a comedic effect. He really doesn't have a lot of redeeming qualities, but he does have his friendship with Fry, and to a lesser extent, Leela. And his friendship with Fry is not only very genuine and played very straight, but it avoids a lot of "no homo" ideas I grew up with in fiction and irl. They're physically affectionate with one another on-screen, and they even say "I love you" verbatim (Bender says it twice).

Bender also goes out of his way to better himself for Fry or to help Fry, which isn't something he does for anyone. They confirm that Fry is the only person Bender cares about more than himself, and is the only person Bender would die for in the CC era. I don't often see this type of affection displayed in a canonically platonic male relationship, and I didn't expect this from a show that came out in 1999. And I really didn't expect this from a character like Bender, who's supposed to be the face of adult cartoon edginess.

There are quite a few hints that Bender has a more feminine side to him. He likes feminine things and he likes talking to Leela about her love life. He's incredibly sensitive and secretly cares for animals and children, despite claiming to hate them so much. But Bender has this tough guy, asshole persona he pretends to keep up, so he seems to be in denial about this side of himself. The infamous episode "Bend Her" (which I have mixed feelings about) provides a lot of evidence for this interpretation.

Now I'm really going to get into why I love Bender so much as a robot character, and why I think he subverts so many robot tropes. The show often jokes about how he's an emotionless, soulless machine, but he is the most emotional character by far. He's extremely needy, he's oversensitive, easily gets his feelings hurt, wants Fry and Leela's approval/attention, etc. I think he resents humanity because he's just as emotional as a normal human, but his emotions are constantly dismissed because he's a robot. We see this in episodes like "Obsoletely Fabulous," and "Beast With a Billion Backs."

Another thing I really adore about Bender is that he's a robot but he's dumb. He's all emotion and no logic. He's also super artistic. He has a lot of hobbies like cooking, folk singing, songwriting, and photography. And not only that, he's really pretentious about his hobbies. He gets into arguments with people about "real art" and he uses darkroom equipment for photography (even though he has a built-in camera... Bender is a very charming character lol). He's not programmed to have all these hobbies, he's not programmed to be best friends with Fry, he does it because he wants to do it.

Needless to say, Bender is probably my favorite robot character of all time other than Octus from Sym-Bionic Titan. There really is more to him than he appears on the surface. And kudos to the Futurama writers to make a robot character feel so human while simultaneously still having him deal with his struggles as a robot. I hope this answers your question about why I think he subverts traditional masculinity and robot tropes. And I apologize for writing you an essay; I had a lot to say!

[egg-emperor]

I've talked about some of this in more detail a while ago but some of the recurring subjects on Eggman's social media accounts would include:

He'd talk about his passions a lot of course, like science with robots and tech, theme parks, carnivals, and circuses but he'd have the most messed up ramblings focusing on all the most dangerous things and sounding way too excited and happy about it. Also some occasional talk of casinos. He'd also share his opinions and thoughts on showtunes, as that's what he'd apparently tweet about on Twitter, said in a takeover.

He'd do status updates and share random thoughts but keep them vague so people can't get too much information and learn exactly where he is and what he's doing. He'd make rambles about how angry he is at people like Sonic and co, Orbot and Cubot, etc, or the world in general as it should be his and he wants attention. When he posts things like that it's a sign he's about to cause trouble either online or in real life lol

He'd enjoy talking about the messed up evil that's public knowledge that he has a blast with and it gives a personal look into how twisted and sadistic he can be. He'd show it through dark morbid humor too, much like the Colors PAs. People would dislike all this and ask wtf is wrong with him. XD But when he gets into trouble he'd just be amused and enjoy mocking and starting shit for fun because he's a real menace.

He'd of course boast about how brilliant, smart, and handsome he is and great at what he does, bragging about past accomplishments and current things that don't need to be secret. But sometimes he'd get too excited and almost give away future big plans and secrets. His robots have to stop him from saying too much like times he's accidentally proudly revealed plans too soon to Sonic and co in the past.

He'd post from his ten terabytes of selfies like a hundred times a day. When he's not showing cool robots, attractions, other creations, and food he's going to eat, it's just himself constantly. People would get to see him in a lot of outfits and casual situations people don't usually get to see him in, as much as he wants to show. I'm thinking shirtless photos lounging in his bedroom or pool room or just showing off. 😳🥰

A lot of people would complain about him spamming his face and being so obsessed with himself and he'd just say "why wouldn't I be, I'm so handsome and brilliant!" and they'd say they really didn't need to see a photo of him in his underwear and he'd say "I can show more if you want ;)" I'd be saving the photos like that as fast as possible and PM him to ask if there's a different version of those photos I can see fhsjhgksnflsh

There'd also be a lot of instances of him being very confused by memes and lingo (which was a thing in a Twitter Takeover joke) and he'd claim to understand so he doesn't look embarrassing and not as "hip" as he's claimed to be (his word in Riders ZG) and he'd make up his own meanings (also a Takeover joke) but that makes it a lot worse as it just immediately proves how clueless he is about it because he's an old man loool

[onewomancitadel]

002 with reylo :)

Hi anon thank you for playing along with me (: fic ask meme for those who want to play along and reblog

When I started shipping them:

Omg so I wasn't a SW fan, Dad liked the films but Mum always made fun of Luke and I don't think I ever sat down and watched any. I had this sort of friend I met at a music festival who was emotionally... complex and he had a fixation on getting other people to like the correct things (there's a whole backstory with him) and one of those that he worked on with me was SW, so he forced me to watch TFA.

I did so at his behest and er, yeah the forest scene/bridal carry was what did it for me. I was totally enamoured with it and still am to this day, I couldn't fully articulate it at the time but the Death and the maiden vibes were what I was all over.

It touched me on a very deep level that Kylo Ren forewent the practicality of the droid and took the girl instead (in his ARMS). There was so much there that did it for me from there, the interrogation scene where Rey overpowers Kylo was certainly compelling and so was their snow fight (that scene where she closes her eyes when their lightsabres are parrying... beautiful) - in fact there's so much material in TFA lol - so that told me a lot about their dynamic and why it was meaningful, but on a pure emotional level that really touched me.

Made that friend (not a friend anymore) very upset for liking SW incorrectly. Lol

My thoughts:

Everything that could be said about Reylo has been said and there's still yet more to say. It's my yardstick for other ships. Does it touch me on a deep emotional spiritual level? Does it make me swoon? Does it make me cry? Does it explain everything about the story? Is the belonging you seek not behind you, but ahead?

What makes me happy about them:

Forget the droid, we have what we need. I can endlessly quote Kylo Ren and I absolutely adore him and Rey. I just love how they answer each other's wounds and that both of them are really dead-set on what their role in the story is (uncomplicated good girl and painfully evil and intimidating bad guy) and it's so hilariously not what they are meant to be at all. I love Kylo Ren when he's around Rey and I love Rey when she's around Kylo Ren, I love them figuring out stuff about each other, I love how angry he makes her, I love how inquisitive he is, I love how much the dynamic is more complex than at first glance, I love the emotions, the brilliant, brilliant, brilliant hope.

I love what the fandom taught me and I love what the dynamic taught me about my personal taste and allowed me to start liking stuff. I'm a very insecure person and I didn't even have the capacity to fully enjoy things lol. Things that make me happy are bad. So unlearning that is hard and in my fandom life that started with Reylo.

What makes me sad about them:

That they didn't end up together with fat Jedi babies and heal the cosmic wound... that very sadly we got Reylo textual and canon, which was a win, but a Pyrrhic victory - Rose was written out, Poe had racist stereotypes attached to him, whatever the fuck they tried to say with the Stormtroopers was tone deaf and stupid, much of the film was just anodyne, corporate commercial bullshit and it should have been a three-year film (like the previous two films) instead of two and had Rian Johnson directing it. Whether you like him or not doesn't matter because it would've at least been fucking coherent.

It took me a really long time to feel remotely okay about Reylo to think about it in a happy way at all, like probably only until very recently. I was very very very sad for a long time afterwards. When the premiere confirmed our worst fears I cried lol.

This type of mythic romance feels and felt really rare... but I know what I'm looking for now, and though I don't think there'll be anything quite like Reylo - that same cultural and fandom moment - I haven't completely lost hope because I've learnt so much from it and what makes romance magic for me.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me:

Hahhahaha. I hate Dark Fuck Prince Kylo Ren, I hate Kylo Ren being forced to prostrate himself at Rey's feet and her positioned as Superior Being, I hate bad redemption theory (war crimes? War tribunal? Locking him up and making him talk to Rey through bars? Kylo Ren never fully redeemed? Kylo Ren ostracised permanently?), I hate sunshine Rey and Rey not portrayed as messed up as she is in canon and Kylo Ren being the obviously broken one, I hate anything that smacks of copy-and-paste romantic dynamics in general with the smug superior guy and the upstart bossy girl who never has any struggles except being just the right amount of sexy but not slutty (and still virginal, but the guy isn't) which is usually auxiliary to Dark Fuck Prince, I hate rivals-to-lovers... it's quite a list but it's a huge fandom with varying interpretations, made harder by the fact that TFA really led to a lot of people jumping to conclusions about the dynamic and running with familiar archetypes that were not there.

Things I look for in fanfic:

Soft Ben and Rey, Ben and Rey who are both in pain and vulnerable, brooding but not smug Ben, Rey being recognised as Ben's equal, good redemption theory (salvific mythic redemption with Ben fully reintegrated... I can only think of a few canonfics like this), anything that gets Ben's poetic voice right but also his casual voice and his tinge of sardonic humour shared with hers, fic that respects Ben's microexpressions as Kylo Ren - he does not smile and barely moves his face, communicates through his eyes,

but he does when he's 'Ben',

fic that respects that Ben respects Rey... I'm not necessarily looking for particular tropes or archetypes, I'm looking for the canon dynamic (canon with TLJ in particular that respects that Ben and Rey would not go back to being completely cruel to each other) but I read any setting.

In fact off the top of my head a lot of fanfics I've genuinely really enjoyed and touched me on a deep level were not canon-setting, and I think that's in part because writing effectively a third film is very hard as a fic author when something that is mythic might be out of your boundaries as a fic author, and it's a LOT harder to get right. So really I applaud any fic author that tries to do that whether or not we see eye to eye. Onya.

My wishlist:

People to stop being so weird about Reylo and enemies-to-lovers. It's okay to dislike it, just don't moralise it as an issue or make fandom fucking inhospitable for a lot of people and be so disrespectful to people with basic fucking interests.

I don't have any wishes for canon itself. That book is closed. There is absolutely no way they undo the third film and what it did and no way to redeem the wound. I doubt Adam Driver would come back for it because he signed up for SW under the understanding it would not devolve into schlock. Really you can't ignore the injustice done to the other characters with TROS either, so it's not a Reylo happy ending that's needed. What TROS was told us what the storytelling landscape is like now in commercial fiction: barren.

I don't think they can fix it unless they learn how to tell new and thoughtful and individual stories that make textual sense.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

No. Absolutely not. Never. No one else. Rey is not boon for any of the characters. Poe does not get Jedi pussy (I've never had such singular spite for a writer, but fucking hell Colin Treverrow's script for the would-be third film was appalling). The romance is the thematic point of the Sequel Trilogy, it's the redemption, it's justified by virtue of it being Star Wars. When you canonship and the ship is so hard canon and the canon is the ship it just can't be written any other way. The only other way it could be written is if Kylo Ren is not fallen to the Dark Side and Rey is not the protagonist. You only get the effect of her nobody-status in respect to the Skywalker scion and prodigal son.

Finn would have to be the protagonist. They would really need to capitalise on the angle of the First Order Stormtrooper discovering himself and I wish that there were more of that in the first film or it could've conceivably been its own series but that would be asking for an original story, wouldn't it.

I think this is where the parlance for shipping gets muddy because once you've got a reading of canon intertwined with your ship it's not really just shipping anymore.

My happily ever after for them:

Fat Jedi babies, green Jakku, Jedi Order but with marriage, fully redeemed Kylo Ren/Ben Solo, Ben Solo's tentative and awkward and funny friendship with the Good Guys, full reconciliation, Rey not alone having found her belonging and completed her Heroine's Journey... you know.

It could've been so, so, so easy. I really don't understand how they didn't see the cashgrab there because selling Ben Solo hanging out with Finn is something you could've done in your sleep. They fucked it. They completely fucked it. All of my belief in the hope of pop culture, commercial storytelling, and good storytelling being able to exist died. I don't think franchises can do it; you can't make transformation and you can't stake any meaning. They wanted to turn the Skywalker name into a superhero mantle and they FUCKED IT.

So it taught me that at least and now I know. But I wanted them to be happy together. I wanted a happy ending. I wanted to believe in something good.

I watch this fanvid near weekly, near daily. It's basically the only thing that makes me feel okay about Reylo lol. It's my deep cosmic emotional wound, if you will, and it needs healing...