#《 —if Theo had a proper support system 》

[magichcuse]

I've been thinking of fun ways for Kit and Viv to coexist while still Making Sense, so here's what I've thought of:

I think this first one might be my favorite because it incorporates Dedrick in it—after Theo finds Dedrick at his door, Kathleen offers to act as Dedrick's mother to prevent gossip. Even though Dedrick is obviously Not Kathleen's Son (and Kathleen would be honest about it with Dedrick because she thinks he deserves to know), most people don't care enough to dispute it. Unfortunately for Dedrick, having Kathleen as a mother doesn't really help offset Theo's neglect because Kathleen wasn't ready to be a mother yet and she's not exactly the warm fuzzy type. By the time Kit comes around (idk how but right now I think enough people ask when Kathleen and Theo are having another kid for her to make Kit out of spite), she's more prepared to be a mother and has learned from her mistakes with Dedrick. I could see this possibly causing tension between Dedrick and Kit. When Patrick finds out Kit was made with magic (Kathleen and Theo sure as hell aren't making her the Old Fashioned Way), he asks her to help him make a baby and Vivian is born. Patrick and Theo get together eventually, but merging the families together is kinda messy.

This is the one I originally came up with—Kathleen agrees to marry Theo to get Damion off of his case, but she also lets Patrick stay with them so he isn't forced into an arranged marriage. She lowkey plays matchmaker/shipper, giving Patrick and Theo many excuses to be left alone together. Kids come in eventually, the order doesn't really matter.

There's also a variant where Kathleen chooses to marry Patrick instead and let Theo stay with them, but it's essentially the same thing except it theoretically gives Theo time to accidentally get someone eggnant.

[tearsstained]

All for us - Theodore Nott Headcanons

Headcanons of Theodore Nott's relationship with the reader and his general life based on the song 'All for us' by Labrinth

POC friendly, plus side friendly, unspecified house, unspecified blood status, gender neutral.

Content warnings: not proof read, angst, drugs (weed & nicotine), addiction, prostitution/slavery (mentioned), sex (mentioned), fights (mentioned), intoxication (mentioned), death/murder, insecurities/self-demoralizing thoughts, Lorenzo Berkshire (mentioned), Mattheo Riddle (mentioned), Regulus Black (mentioned), song lyrics used, songfic.

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"Too much in my system"

Theo! Who was once offered a smoke by a group of muggle boys at 14 years old when he snuck out of the house.

Theo! Who then got addicted to weed and nicotine because it regulated him emotionally and stopped his thought process for a while

Theo! Who became friends with Mattheo Riddle and Lorenzo Berkshire when they had a smoke sesh together in their dorm for the first time.

Theo! Who became closer with Matt and Enzo which led to him hanging out with the Slytherin gang.

Theo! Who was too high when he first met you through Lorenzo, he could barely remember you but he knew you were one of the prettiest people he had ever seen.

Theo! Who could only ask Lorenzo about you so many times before he got annoyed by the constant nagging about 'the pretty person'.

Theo! Who got irritated when he couldn't find you again so he tried to forget you instead.

Theo! Who could not get the image of your face out of his head, no matter how much he smokes.

Theo! Who went through several packs a week just trying to forget your face.

"Money MIA, pockets hella empty."

"Mama making ends meet,"

"Working like a slave."

Theo! Who had a hard upbringing as his mum died early in his life.

Theo! Who found out his mum did anything and everything to support him, even prostituting and slaving herself to his dad.

Theo! Who discovered his mum only married his dad because he paid her too.

Theo! Who discovered his mum only accepted because she was financially struggling and thought it would be an escape just for it to lead to her murder.

"Daddy ain't at home, no."

"Gotta be a man."

"Do it for my homegrowns."

"Do it for the fam."

Theo! Who never had a caring dad, even when his mother died.

Theo! Who was mostly home alone since his dad was always out trying to find another woman who could 'fulfill his needs'

Theo! Who got yelled at and punished by his dad for mentioning his mother once in the manor.

Theo! Who was told to 'be a man' and get over his mother's death.

Theo! Who matured too quickly because of his dad's harsh words and torturous punishments.

Theo! Who never had any siblings so he had to tough it out on his own at home.

Theo! Who never considered his dad to be his family and believed his mother the only person deserving of being his family.

"Just for your love, yeah."

"I'll give you the world."

"Mona Lisa's smile."

Theo! Who noticed you hanging out with the Slytherin group more often but mostly stayed with Lorenzo.

Theo! Who was euphoric when he finally became friends with you.

Theo! Who fell in love with you all over again but didn't try forgetting you this time.

Theo! Who fell into an awkward friends with benefits, situationship, sort of relationship with you instead of just asking you out.

Theo! Who continuously gave you mind-blowing sex because he didn't know how else to get out of the 'friends' stage with you.

Theo! Who wanted to give you so much more than orgasms but didn't want to scare you by moving too quickly.

Theo! Who didn't know how to move out into a proper relationship with you.

Theo! Who genuinely believed you were the most gorgeous person to walk the planet.

Theo! Who believes you're special and no one could ever beat you in a sense of beauty and personality.

Theo! Who thought of you in a way others think of Mona Lisa's smile, perfectly drawn to create something so irreplaceable.

"Hell, I'll do 25 to life."

"If it makes me a king."

"A star in your eyes."

Theo! Who would lock himself up in azkaban for life if you asked him to.

Theo! Who would sacrifice everything for you, even his friends and weed.

Theo! Who does everything to seem like a perfect guy in front of you and even begs Lorenzo to leave in a good word about him.

Theo! Who was so possessive over you to the point where he bashed a guy for trying to take you away from him while you were drunk.

Theo! Who asked you out after fucking you into oblivion because he was jealous of a boy you were talking to at a party.

Theo! Who was internally freaking out when you finally started dating but played it off by giving you another orgasm.

"Guilty or innocent."

"My love is infinite, I'm giving it."

"No need for prisoners."

"Bitch, please, hands up, this is a stick up."

Theo! Who was forced to become a death eater because his father wanted to please Lord Voldemort.

Theo! Who didn't want to endanger any, but more specifically you so he distanced himself from you at school.

Theo! Who despite distancing from you, still thought about you every second.

Theo! Who believed Lord Voldemort's desire for harm was unnecessary and didn't want to hurt or imprison anyone.

Theo! Who still complied with the Lord's demands despite not wanting to just so he knows you're safe.

"Guess you figured my two times two always equates to one."

"Dreamers are selfish."

"When it all comes down to it."

Theo! Who was too scared to open up to you about his problems and trauma so instead you find out through other sources.

Theo! Who eventually realized he never quit his smoking addiction, instead he just replaced it with the addiction of idolising you.

Theo! Who thought you were too good for him and that he was being selfish by dating you and trapping you with him and his issues.

Theo! Who no matter how much reassurance he received from you and his friends, he still believed he was burdening you and victimising himself.

Theo! Who was just scared of getting you hurt or into any drama with the sacred 28.

"I hope one of you come back to remind me of who I was."

"When I go disappear."

"Into that goodnight."

Theo! Who was demanded to go on a mission by Lord Voldemort.

Theo! Who only obeyed because they threatened your safety.

Theo! Who put some much effort and preparation into the mission just to hope you'll be okay.

Theo! Who prayed every moment that you'd be safe.

Theo! Who no matter how hard he tried on that mission, never made it home.

"I'm taking it all for us, all."

"Doing it all for love."

"Yeah-eah, yeah-eah."

Theo! Who became another form of Regulus Black, an unavenged and unsuccessful soldier that did it all love.

Theo! Who was never known beside those that attended school with him and just seemed to vanish.

Theo! Who nobody knew what happened to him besides his father and Voldemort who could care less.

Theo! Who was a forgotten memory for others, but not you or his friends.

Theo! Who was forever a mystery for you.

Theo! Who at least is with the only other person he's ever loved, his mother.

Theo! Who died for you.

[skyland2703]

Javi x Amelia for ships 👀

What is this a joke 😭 I just know this essay is gonna get out of hand asdfghjkasdfghfds

OKAY SO I’m gonna try keeping other ships out of this, so it’s only just taking about Javelia

If you know me, you know I’m OBSESSED with this ship. This one ship that just takes my world by storm because of how badly I got obsessed with it. I don’t even know how it happened.

So you see, we see Amelia and Javi meet for the first time at Buzzblast. That is where the story begins. The “nice harmonica, catchy tune” line— and BOOM! Instant attraction. I believe Amelia saw him as a friend, initially, but she really did care for him— “best friend” even, maybe. But nothing more than that.

Javi, on the other hand, got OBSESSED. Not the bad kind, but the “I think I have a crush on you.” Obsessed. We see him teasing her, we see him showing up in places with her, we see them AS COWORKERS— they’re literally Co-workers OH MY GAWD— and we see them as rangers and as friends.

Javi supports her in her ghost hunting, he never pulls her down. She and Javi have a “we’re both made fun of because of what we like to do” kinda bond, Javi with his music, and his father not letting him live it down, and Amelia with Ollie criticising her every move. They support each other, Amelia acts like the #1 fan of Javi’s music and Javi is always ready for helping her hunt ghosts— he makes a fucking theme song for her ghost hunting programme!!!!! They have a “at least I got you in my corner” vibe to them that drew me to their ship in the first place. This kinda support, this kinda FRIENDSHIP. WHERE DO YOU FIND THAT!!!!

But BUT we see Javi showing the “more than friends” signs, and we see Amelia friendzoning him. If you notice, Javi stops showing the signs after she starts dating Ollie. There is just one??? Two?? Scenes??? Of them??? In the last couple episodes of DF— BECAUSE of what I believe, Javi respectfully abandoning his chase, like Theo did, as I mentioned in the Theo/Lily post— when he realises that Amelia’s affections lie somewhere else.

BUT THEN WE COME TO COSMIC FURY. We come to Amelia’s heartbreak, and we SEE Javi being there for her like no other member of the team is!!!!!! Because you see, Solon and Billy were making the morphers, Aiyon was busy @ Zayto, either looking/worrying for him, or with him. Izzy was with Fern. THESE TWO. HAD NOBODY ELSE. Only each other. And I believe, the bond forged in forced intimacy is the greatest bond of all, because it reminds you of the trauma you’ve suffered, and all of the things you went through together.

Amelia was hurt. Javi was injured. And Ollie was evil. The situation works out with such perfection, that when Amelia takes the role of The Red Ranger, JAVI, automatically, becomes her second in command. Now we all know how much I like the Leader x Second in command trope. Javi pitches ideas, he follows behind her, he acts as THE support system a leader needs in case things go awry.

But that’s not where this ends, you see? Because feelings MIGHT develop between them during all of this, but Amelia still has a boyfriend(?). Javi is still “that dorky friend” of hers in her mind.

THAT changes when he loses his arm. She gets respect for him, because all of Dino fury, Javi was just the “sexy lamp” of the team, the guy who crushed on Amelia, and “Izzy’s brother.” He did not have a proper standing of his own, but the way he goes out of the way to sacrifice himself? That opens a new avenue of his personality TO HER. It makes HER realise that “oh my god, I’ve been looking at a diamond in the rough, this entire time.” Because sacrificing yourself isn’t easy. Offering yourself for sacrifice TWICE?

Yes. Yes, that’s the turning point of Javi and Amelia’s relationship. The moment in episode 9, when Javi chooses to sacrifice himself, ONCE AGAIN. When he tells her, in episode 10, that he made it through once, he can do it again? And she looks at him with that “but at what cost, Javi?” And he laughs and tells her he’ll be okay? THAT WORRY IN HER EYES?!! THAT EXPRESSION THAT SMILE?!!? That was the moment Amelia realised she had not only fallen for him, but that she had fallen SO HARD. That she not only “loved him”, now, she also respected him more than she had EVER respected him in the past.

I feel like that RESPECT formed the basis of their bond after that. That they probably never went back to being “just friends.” Because while Javi had respectfully abandoned his chase, Amelia realised she could not let him go. He wasn’t someone she could EVER let go. All because of the way he had acted when things went awry.

While she stepped up to take the leadership of the team, he stepped up to offer himself for the taking. THAT forged their bond harder than steel. They were never going back.

I still feel like after cosmic fury, it takes them a little time to figure out their feelings, but eventually, they do. The love and worry Amelia’s eyes spoke no lies at that moment, and Javi too saw it. ONCE AGAIN ITERATING the Hindi dub made Javi say HE WAS *hER* JAVI

So yes, Tl;dr, they started out as friends, but situations made themselves so that they could not remain friends. They fell in love. Their love was too strong.

I SHIP IT OKAY 😭😭😭 They’re my #1 OTP.

LOOK AT THAT SMILE. Is that how friends look at friends?!!???!!?

Send me a ship and I will explain why I do or don't ship it

[terrigm]

Tactical soccer henderson

Rooney also played better when he moved closer to goal, interchanging with Barkley and Kane at the appropriate moments.įriendlies offer the proper opportunity to experiment, which Hodgson did, but he returned to a winning formula when the new ideas didn’t work as expected. The team looked strongest in the final 15 minutes, culminating in Townsend’s equalizer, with all players in their proper positions.īarkley again showed promise as the primary playmaker, displaying his skills when he’s afforded the freedom that the No. Michael Carrick went into defensive midfield, and he provided a much steadier anchor for the diamond midfield.Įxecuting a diamond midfield can be tricky, but England’s squad fit the requirements - Hodgson just had to put the pieces in the right places. Just before halftime, Chris Smalling went off feeling unwell, and Jones moved into the back line. Pellè’s tally was the only shot on target from either side. The first half finished with neither team seriously threatening the opposing goal. Pellè flicked over Joe Hart and into the goal from an unmarked position in the near-post space in the 29th minute. Its best chances came on combinations in wide areas and crosses, as the central midfield triangle could not transition from defense to attack quickly enough to support the forwards.ĭespite controlling much of the ball in the early stages, England fell behind on a second-chance cross from Chiellini after a corner kick. Italy also struggled to sustain pressure in the attacking third. Hodgson replaced Clyne at halftime with Kyle Walker, who surpassed Clyne’s effectiveness on both ends of the field with his pace and ability to serve crosses. They, and debutant Mirko Valdifiori in defensive midfield, frustrated England in the first half.ĭarmian created several dangerous opportunities down the left in particular, as England right back Nathaniel Clyne struggled to contain him. Manager Antonio Conte kept the same 3-1-4-2 system in place despite his personnel changes, with Brazilian-born Éder partnering Graziano Pellè up top.Īlong with Buffon, central defenders Giorgio Chiellini, Leonardo Bonucci and Andrea Ranocchia formed the most experienced block of the Italian team. Goalkeeper Gianluigi Buffon represented nearly half of the Azzurri’s caps alone, making his 147th appearance. In the back, Jones dropped between the center backs to allow the fullbacks to roam the touchlines. Henderson and Delph stepped forward into the half-spaces on either border of the 18-yard box as Walcott and Kane moved higher. He drifted freely between midfield and forward lines, looking for the ball at his feet and spraying diagonal passes. Rooney has played either in the top line or just underneath for both club and country recently, which fit into Hodgson’s desire to tinker with the system in a friendly. Jordan Henderson and Fabian Delph stepped ahead of Phil Jones in a shape that could be described as either 4-3-3 or 4-4-2 with a diamond midfield. Wayne Rooney tucked underneath Theo Walcott and Harry Kane in a three-forward set.

[bedbellyandbeyond]

Medical Help

(Story Post; New Character!)

The building was rather unassuming at first. It appeared to be similar to the government building Theo worked out of, but a little bigger. Henderson used his ID to get them inside and then took him to the elevator. There were a lot of buttons inside which surprised Theo since the place was only a few stories high. After a moment he realised that the numbers on the bottom three quarters of the panel were all basement floors. Henderson selected one and they were on their way down quickly. The unexpected drop made Theo hold his stomach in shock. It felt like a lot of fluid sloshed around and it threw off his balance a bit that he had to grab Henderson for support. When the doors opened up, they were in a room that looked like any other reception at a small hospital or private practice. There was only one person in the waiting area minding their own business and they looked completely human. At the front desk, Theo saw what appeared to be the most beautiful human being he’d ever seen. Köbi smiled at them. “Hi there. Can I get your name, please?”

“Henderson Neil, but I brought my friend to be looked at,” Henderson said. “Do you have an appointment?” Köbi asked Theo. “No, but I'm looking for a second opinion on something and Henderson suggested I come here,” Theo said. “Oh, um... We don't usually take walk-ins I think... Lemme ask the doctor.” Köbi picked up the phone and called the doctor through the intercom. When it was picked up, he talked softly. “Hey, Syd. We have a walk-in here... They're with an employee... Okay, thank you.” “So?” Henderson probed. “You're in luck,” Köbi said. “We just had a no show, so the doctor has some time for you before the next patient. In the future though, we are very busy so you will have to make an appointment.” “Thanks a lot,” Henderson said. “Can I leave my buddy here in your hands? I gotta make a class.” Köbi nodded. “Mmhm. Can I get your name, buddy?” “It's Theo. Théodore Bernard.” Köbi typed it into his computer. “Ah, you're in the system. That's convenient for me...” “I'm sorry, I'm in the system?” “Yes, you're a government employee, right?” Köbi stated. “Even if you don't work directly with this department, APID has records of all government employees. It's a security thing.” “Oh... Okay, I see.” The doctor appeared from down the hall and placed a file folder at the front desk. “Köbi, I'm going to need you to input these while I'm with this patient, please.” “Sure thing.” Köbi took the file and placed it beside his computer. “This is Théo. He's your walk in.” Theo was a little surprised that Köbi actually pronounced his name the proper French way, but then again, he did have some kind of European accent. While he liked that, it was a little weird because he hadn’t heard it like that in months. “Hello, Théodore. I am Dr. Sydryn Aias. Please follow me,” Sydryn said, turning and heading back down the hall. The full name drop was a little weirder to hear. Usually only his aunt called him Théodore. “Oh, um...” Theo started following them. “Hi, doctor. Uh, I don't do it often, but last time I did a walk in, I had to fill out a form...” “Yes, yes. Information on your medical concern so that we can determine the level of urgency. No need,” Sydryn said bringing him to their office. “You can just tell me, although I imagine from the way your clothes don't fit that it has to do with sudden unanticipated growth in the mid-section.” “Y-Yeah!” Theo was a bit impressed. He located the exam table and got himself up onto it. “My doctor didn't really seem to think much of it, but I swear, when I woke up this morning, I just had a few rolls. Now it's like a beach ball.” “Théo, your gender, please,” Sydryn asked. “Oh, I'm a man,” Theo answered, though a little caught of guard. “He/Him. But it sounds like you guessed that I'm trans.” “Not necessarily, but it is relevant to the questioning,” Sydryn stated. “So, I imagine your GP ruled out pregnancy.” Theo nodded. “He did an ultrasound. It showed nothing more than fluid.” “Fluid?” Sydryn started typing on their computer. “In what part? Stomach? Liver? Intestine? Uterus? Kidney?” “He didn't say but I imagine it was just in the general...space of my stomach,” Theo said. “I dunno.” “You ‘dunno' is right... Do you have copies of this ultrasound?” Sydryn asked. “No, sorry.” “Fine... We'll have to do another.” Sydryn got up from their computer. “I recommend a trans-vaginal ultrasound but I won't do it if you're not comfortable with that, considering I am new to you.” Theo flushed. “Trans-vaginal...” He rubbed his forehead. “Honestly, I just want to know what's wrong with me, so whatever... Let's do it.” “Good. Do you have any ongoing medical conditions that may cause you pain in your pelvic region?” Sydryn asked. “No.” Theo shook his head. “Are you menstruating?” “Nope.” “Have you ever had a trans-vaginal ultrasound before?” “No. Does it hurt?” Sydryn shook their head. “It shouldn’t hurt, however some find it uncomfortable. The tool used is called a probe. It's about two centimetres in diameter and it is placed inside a condom and lubricated to ease passage into the vagina.” Theo chuckled uncomfortably. “You could've taken me to dinner first...” “It's better that you haven't eaten yet so that we can rule out any meals as an effect on your condition,” Sydryn replied. “Have you eaten recently?” “Not since lunch...” Theo said, a bit more uncomfortable since the doctor didn't share in his joke. “Good.” Sydryn got up and retrieved a patient gown for Theo. “Please put this on.” They pulled the curtain closed that encircled the exam table to allow Theo some privacy. Theo did as told, nervously undressing and pulling on the gown. The doctor had picked out a decently large one, so his middle didn't pull too much on the thin material. When he was done, he pulled back the curtain. Sydryn had stepped out for a moment but came back into the room when they heard the curtain. “Follow me, please.” Theo nodded and followed the doctor to another room where the imaging equipment was set up. He was directed up onto another exam bed and he reclined, resting his hands on his stomach. “Please rest your feet up on these platforms here and here,” Sydryn said, pointing to the pedal like appendages of the bed. Theo spread his legs as he did as told. He watched as the doctor prepared a very long probe and lubricated it. He tensed up instinctively as the probe was brought near his nether regions. “Theodore, please relax,” Sydryn said. “Have you had a pap smear before?” “Yeah.” “The pressure should be similar. Some would say this is easier,” Sydryn said. “Should you feel any pain however, do tell me.” “Okay.” Theo tried to breathe deep and relax himself. The probe was inserted moments later. The doctor looked to the monitor for information. For the next few minutes, they turned the transducer slowly, stopping occasionally to study the image. Theo didn’t really know what to look at so he just waited for it to be over. When it was, Sydryn removed the probe and set it aside to be cleaned later. “So?” Theo asked, putting his legs together. “Did it show anything?” Sydryn sighed. “It's inconclusive. However, it is clear that you have a large build-up of fluid within your uterus, much like with a pregnancy. There is an intact membrane like that of the amniotic sac, however there is no evidence of a foetus within. The question now is, what is this fluid build up and what caused it.” “So what do we do?” Theo asked. “I have this balloon of liquid in my uterus and what? Do I hope it goes away?” Sydryn shook their head. “No. I suggest we pop it.” Theo tensed at the thought. “Uh, what?” “If we, quote, break your water, unquote, we can, a., reduce the distension of your stomach, and b., collect some of the fluid as a sample and study it to determine its origin,” Sydryn explained. Theo rubbed his stomach. “...Oh... Do you think it's safe to do that?” Sydryn nodded. “Yes, it's like you're giving birth to an imaginary baby, but without a lot of the pain and stretching.” Theo swallowed hard. “If it'll make this stomach go away, then I guess let's do it...” Sydryn went to wash their hands and get new gloves. They called in Köbi from the front desk to assist and he got the tools ready. As Köbi was placing a plastic basin underneath the edge of the bed, Sydryn had Theo put his feet back up on the stirrups. “Now, is this going to hurt at all?” Theo asked. “It's not likely to hurt so much as give relief,” Sydryn said holding up what looked to be a hook on a stick. “It might feel like you're urinating but from a different hole.” “Alright...” The hook was inserted inside and Theo tried to relax again. After a moment inside, he felt a sudden popping sensation and then the rush of fluid out of his uterus and out between his legs. It was incredibly satisfying and he even noticed his stomach visibly deflate. “...Well, that's new,” he heard the doctor say. “What?” Theo asked. “Is something weird?” He sat up to try and see what the doctor was seeing. In the basin below the bed, a swirl of transparent but clearly blue and sparkly liquid pooled. Köbi had taken a sample in a beaker and left the room with it. “...Did that come out of me?” Theo asked, flabbergasted. “Indeed it did.” Sydryn pressed a little on Theo's stomach to coax the rest of the liquid out. When it seemed to have stopped, he gave Theo a towel and helped clean him up. “What is it?” Theo asked. “I can’t be sure,” Sydryn said. “We're going to run tests... For now though, I believe it's best you rest here overnight.” “What? But I have work—” “Your employer will be informed,” Sydryn said. “This is now an APID case and your health needs to be watched. This is a unique case, so we'll have to gather as much data as we can to determine the origin of this condition.” “...So I don't have a choice?” Theo asked. “Theo, the concern here is that we don't know what this might have done to you internally,” Sydryn said. “We don't know what affect it has on the human body beyond the distention. I can let you go home, but I believe it’s safest for you to remain here. If anything develops, we'd want you to have a medical professional nearby. It's up to you.” Theo rubbed the back of his neck. “Is this all covered by OHIP?” “A little late to ask that, and the answer is technically no, but there is no charge for diagnosis,” Sydryn stated. “Should we determine that there is non-human interference in you're health, which I am almost certain there is, then further care will be covered by our program.” “So... To be plain...?” Theo asked. “To be plain...If aliens or other non-human people are involved in this, a.k.a. this is not a human condition, you won't pay anything.” “And if there isn't?” “You won’t pay anything here, but you'll have to seek your usual human healthcare. Although I would suggest you find a new GP. Your current one is less than useful.” Theo nodded. “Okay, I understand...” “Do you have any questions?” “Yeah, well... Not exactly a question...” Theo looked at the doctor. “You say a lot of ‘human’ this, ‘non-human' that... Are you...human?” “It is not particularly polite around here to ask people whether they are human or not,” Sydryn answered. “Oh, I'm sorry...” “It's fine, it's your first time at APID. Please, have you chosen to stay as I requested?” “Well, where would I be staying?” Theo asked. “And I'm not really prepared for an overnight stay... I don’t have pyjamas or toiletries...” “I'll have the receptionist show you a room and he'll provide you any essentials you might need for the night,” Sydryn explained. “Let him know if you do plan on staying so that I am aware of the decision.” “Okay...” Theo got off the bed. “Should I go back and change?” “Please.”

After touring the overnight rooms they had, Theo agreed to stay. The rooms were much like a hotel and reasonably homely so he tried to treat it like a vacation. There was a set of buttons in the room near the bed, one of which he was he could use to call in a doctor or nurse to check in on him. He figured be might as well catch Henderson up so he texted him to call him when his class was over, and his friend kept the promise. Henderson sounded really excited about that idea that some alien had done this to Theo and he was rather proud that he'd called it. Theo reminded him that nothing was confirmed yet, but he was pretty sure Henderson was right as that liquid that had come out of him definitely looked otherworldly.

The next morning, Theo woke up groggy and delirious. It took him a minute to recognise where he was, then he sat up to get out of bed. It wasn't so easy as, once again, his stomach had swollen to unnatural proportions. He started to panic. What in the world was going on? Why was it back? They had drained him! It should've all left his body! Remembering the buttons, he picked the one to call the doctor. It was relatively early in the morning so he wasn’t sure if the doctor would be in, but sure enough, the pink haired physician was there within minutes. “It’s back,” Theo said, getting up and lifting his shirt. “What’s going on, doctor?” “Theodore, no need to reveal yourself,” Sydryn said. “I chose to prioritise looking into your case so I examined the substance we obtained yesterday and it is beyond what I’ve frankly ever seen. As such, I had to consult another doctor on the matter and I’d like them to speak with you.” Theo nodded, though he was starting to sweat a little. So far it seemed like no one knew what was happening to him and he just felt so lost. “Okay, um… So you don’t know anything?” “I know a lot of things, but this case in particular is new to me,” Sydryn said. “That doesn’t mean that I’m not trying to learn everything I can on the matter. I’d like to see you get through this.” That made him feel a little better. “Okay, who’s this other doctor?” Sydryn got up and went outside and returned with two others, one a handsome wavy-haired man with green tips and the other was none other than a Yulinian. Theo had never met a Yulinian, or any other alien for that matter, in his life and part of him was both very excited and another part was terribly nervous. He had no idea how to act and couldn’t help staring. “Théodore, this is Fay Demers and Dr. Ix,” Sydryn said. “Dr. Ix is our resident medical delegate from Yulin. They have been educating me on the physiology of various extraterrestrial species for the sake of my practice and I believe their knowledge on extraterrestrial life forms to be of benefit to you at this time.” Theo rubbed his legs nervously. “Hi, um, I’m Theo.” “It’s nice to meet you,” Dr. Ix said, smiling warmly. “I’m sure you’re feeling very worried for your health and I can assure you that this is the best place on this planet for you to receive the best care.” “Yeah, uh… Thanks.” Theo tried to look away, thinking he was making too much eye contact. “I’m really sorry if I act weird… I’ve just never met a Yulinian in person before.” “That’s quite alright,” the doctor said. “I get it a lot and frankly you’re one of the politer ones. Now, about your condition… I have a few questions.” “Okay, shoot.” “Have you been experiencing any strange dreams lately?” Dr. Ix asked. “Anything perhaps space related?” “Actually, yeah,” Theo said. “I have space dreams a lot.” “Can you describe them to me?” Dr. Ix pulled out a tablet to write on. “Yeah, um… Usually it’s the same dream from when I was younger,” Theo said. “I’m at a cottage with my friends, but I always breakaway to go look at the stars from the dock.” “How long have you been having this dream?” “I really don’t know. For as long as I can remember since that event.” “Has the dream changed at all within the last couple days?” “Yes! Actually, the night before last, I was on the dock but this time it was like…the night sky lifted me up into space,” Theo said. “And then it turned into a person with like, space hair. Galaxy hair.” Dr. Ix nodded silently, writing down some notes. Sydryn looked to the other doctor. “Does that line up?” “It does,” Dr. Ix said. “What does?” Theo asked. “You can diagnose me based on my dream?” Dr. Ix wobbled their head. “These types of ‘dreams’ are consistent with people we’ve found to share your condition. However, I also got to analyse the sample Dr. Aias procured and the two confirmed what I suspected you’re going through.” “So you know what’s wrong with me?” Theo asked, lighting up. “Yes,” Dr. Ix said. “I will say that not many beings go through what you are experiencing right now so our data is limited, but there is enough information that I believe we can help you with.” “So what is it? What’s wrong with me?” Dr. Ix crossed their hands over their tablet. “This appears to be a celestial pregnancy.” “Celestial what?” Theo placed his hands on his stomach. “I thought we determined I wasn’t pregnant…” “It was inconclusive,” Sydryn said. “What does it mean?” Theo asked. “Celestial pregnancy?” “You’ve been visited and impregnated by a celestial,” Dr. Ix said. “A celestial is a broad term for a number of extraterrestrial beings that do not inhabit planets but the space between them. Their existence and abilities are not easily explained by science, much like earthly creatures such as mermaids or dragons.” “Wait, hold on…” Theo said. “You’re comparing these celestial things to mythological creatures.” “I can assure you, they are not myths,” Sydryn stated. “The whereabouts and identities of such people are kept secret for their protection but they very much do exist.” “I for one am a merman,” Fay stated for the sake of proof. “Fay,” Sydryn warned. “You don’t know him…” “Relax, Syd. He’s clearly scared and harmless,” Fay stated. “Théo, I should probably explain why I’m here.” “You’re a merman?” Theo asked. Fay smiled and nodded. “Correct. I’m a case worker here at APID and Sydryn suggested I pick up your case.” “Fay here is one of our top case workers,” Sydryn stated. “He can help you with handling this condition on a more administrative and support level.” “Wait, hold on!” Theo said. “This is all a lot of information! I just want to know what we're going to do about this!” He patted his stomach. Dr. Ix nodded. “I'll continue. As I said, celestials are extraterrestrial beings. They do not belong to any one planet. Because of this, they are lesser known and often treated as mythological creatures. What we do know about some of them however is that on occasion they may visit a person in their sleep, often soothing them in pleasant dreams and they proceed to impregnate them with their celestial hybrid children. Implantation is certain and the, in your case, uterus swells with fluid to nurture the embryo as it grows.” “So you're saying...” Theo held his stomach. “This fluid builds up first? Then the baby grows inside it?” “Correct. You won't likely grow any larger than you are now, perhaps a bit more near the end of the pregnancy,” the doctor said. “From draining it yesterday, you only invited it to fill up again.” “Where is it coming from though?” Theo asked. “How can it fill up so fast?” “The fluid itself is...incredible to say the least. Exactly how it develops is hard to determine,” Dr. Ix said. “A microscopic examination showed that in fact, it contains micro-galaxies within. This is what feeds the offspring in the womb.” “I have...galaxies inside of me?” Theo asked. “Are you kidding?” “I don't kid,” Dr. Ix said. “I wouldn't concern yourself for the health of these galaxies. Something at such a small size is too delicate to worry about the condition of.” “I promise you; I'm not concerned about the health of micro-galaxies in my uterus,” Theo said, rubbing his head. “What do we do?” Dr. Ix placed a hand on Theo's shoulder. “We're going to monitor your pregnancy closely and make it as easy as possible for you. You'll get through this.” Theo shook his head. “But I don't want to be pregnant. I have no desire to have this kid. There has to be a way to get rid of it.” Sydryn shook their head. “Unfortunately, Théodore, the pregnancy is certain just as much as the implantation is. The will of a celestial is not one we can defy. This is why some cultures worship them as gods. We can help through the pregnancy, but we're not capable of terminating it. And I don’t mean it in the sense that we won’t or that we legally can’t. If we could, we would do so for you. There are no known methods for doing so.” Theo looked at all their faces, these people just staring at him. He knew they were there to help, but he couldn't help feeling despair. He started to tear up and tried wiping his eyes. “So...So I'm just stuck like this?” Fay came over to his side and rubbed his shoulder. “I know this is hard for you. This kind of thing is so uncommon and unheard of that it would make anyone scared. But you're not going to be alone through this and we're going to work out what we're going to do from here on. If it helps at all, think of it as being chosen by a higher power.” “On some planets,” Dr. Ix interjected, “These children are seen as blessings and become important pillars of their societies, oracles and shaman and so on. Their parents are treated like kings.” “Wait, am I expected to raise this thing?” Theo asked. “No, that is up to you,” Sydryn said. “You can take custody or APID will take them on as a ward. We wouldn't want to force you into parenthood against your will.” “But I have to give birth to it?” Theo inhaled sharply. “I... Guys, I can't process all this right now...” “Of course. It’s a lot,” Fay said. “It's not easy waking up to three strangers telling you a space alien impregnated you.” “Why don't you come with me,” Sydryn said, “And we'll do another examination just to determine your overall health today as well as get some measurements.” Theo nodded. “Okay.” “After you guys do that, I can get you some breakfast,” Fay said, patting Theo's arm. “What are you, an egg man? Bacon? Pancakes?” “Is there food here?” Theo asked. “Yes, of course. We have a lot of residents living here,” Fay said. “We have a really large cafeteria. But honestly, the food is really good.” “I wouldn't mind bacon and eggs,” Theo answered. “Thanks.” “Don't mention it,” Fay said. “Syd, can you send him to my office when you're done?” “Sure thing.” Sydryn motioned for everyone to leave the room. Theo called to them as Dr. Ix began to leave. “Sorry, um, I have another question.” “Yes?” Ix turned around. “How long will this pregnancy last?” “The few recorded celestial pregnancies lasted the length of a host species’ typical pregnancy so, it’ll likely be nine months,” Dr. Ix determined. “A whole nine months looking full term?” Theo paled. “No way.” Dr. Ix started to leave again. “I’ll be consulting on this with Dr. Aias. Should you wish to speak to me directly, you can come by my office. Dr. Aias can give you the location. I must go now however.” “Okay, bye…” The alien left behind Fay, and Sydryn was about to step out as well. “By the way, when Köbi had you fill out some forms last night, you put your aunt down as your emergency contact, correct?” Sydryn asked. “Yeah, why?” “Well, it's just that the address is a province over. Do you not have anyone in the city?” Theo shook his head. “I left my friends and family in Quebec to move here for my work.” “No contacts here? A significant other perhaps?” Sydryn asked. “What about that Henderson man?” “No, he's just a friend. We're co-workers, I couldn't make him my emergency contact.” “Very well, but I would suggest keeping your friends close,” Sydryn said. “Even a typical human pregnancy isn't easy to handle alone.” They paused then raised a finger. “Actually, there's a pregnancy group here at APID that could benefit you.” “Really?” Theo rubbed his neck. “For alien pregnancies?” “No, for pregnancies in general,” Sydryn said. “And if you’re worried about possibly being the only man they, it's actually majority men.” “You're kidding.” Theo lit up a bit. “Other pregnant men?” “Like Ix, I'm not a kidder. It is primarily for others who have experienced pregnancy and can share their knowledge and experiences. But I'm sure they can help you feel comfortable.” Theo nodded. “I think… Once I get my bearings in all this… I might actually think about going to that. Thanks.” “Let me know if and when you’d like to go,” Sydryn said. “They meet on Fridays. I sit in on occasion, but I can also understand if you’d rather I didn’t. Not everyone wants their doctor listening in on their personal life.” “Yeah, we’ll see…” Theo rubbed his neck. “Oh, um... I'm technically pregnant, right?” “You are pregnant, yes.” “Do I have to stop my injections?” The doctor shook their head. “Technically no, testosterone injections would not affect a celestial pregnancy, however it might cease to be effective in your transition considering the pregnancy will be preparing you for birth by raising your estrogen levels.” Theo swallowed hard. “Will it reverse my transition then?” “No, no... Fret not,” Sydryn said. “While you might find some changes seem reversed, a lot of FTM transition features are permanent. You're not likely to lose hair growth and your voice will remain the same. Your hips might get wider though...” Theo frowned. “So T. Not worth it.” “Not right now.” “I really should've scheduled a hysterectomy...” “We'll get through this. Don't worry.” Sydryn proceeded to do a physical examination, taking all of Theo’s measurements and checking his vitals. He was in good health despite the pregnancy, though it was clear the new weight was causing issues. Oddly, he didn’t have a single stretchmark from his rapid growth, and Syd suspected it was due to celestial influence. He was overall the same as he was before but with a bigger abdomen. After the exam, Sydryn suggested that Theo stay at APID one more night just to see if any changes occurred. If his growth had stabilised, then he could go home and they'd proceed from there. Theo agreed to it. He had breakfast with Fay after, and the other was keen on getting to know his new client. They talked for a while and Theo found out he was married with eight children. He and his husband both went to the pregnancy group that Sydryn had talked about and it made Theo feel a bit better about it, knowing he'd already know someone there. Theo talked about his job as a translator and they had that in common too; Fay apparently also translated for APID. As a siren however, it took him often no more than a few minutes with someone to learn their language without ever having heard it before. He could understand anyone, though he couldn't always speak the language of another species due to physiology. Theo only knew his native French and English. He was starting to think taking one of Henderson's classes wouldn't be a bad idea...

“Ta-da!” “What…is that?” Henderson was holding up a big bright green T-shirt with APID printed gaudily across the chest. He’d come back to APID after work to take Theo home. “I imagine your clothes don’t fit now so I got this for you on my way back from class.” “…Gee. Thanks.” Theo had already changed into his own clothes hours ago, but it was true, his own shirt did not fully cover his new burgeoning belly. He attempted to tuck his shirt into his pants but the slightest movement untucked it and it seemed like the APID shirt was going to have to be the one for the way home. “…You’d think the branding of a secret government organisation would be more subtle…” “It’s really not a secret anymore, you know that,” Henderson said. “And after the name change, they made up all this merch I guess to really sell the new name. I was lucky enough to get my hands on one of the limited edition throw blankets. Wanna come back to mine and see it?” “No, thanks… I really just want to go home,” Theodore said. “…I’ve had a shit day.” “Ah, I guess I’ll just have to bring it over then.” “Henderson!” Theo snapped. “I really don’t care about your blanket!” Henderson blinked and threw up his hands. “Sorry, I… Sorry. Bad day. Blankets don’t matter. You matter.” “Mon dieu…” Theo rubbed his face, his tears welling up again. “No, I’m sorry… I know you’re just trying to help…” Henderson panicked a moment. “Oh, shit... Um, it's gonna be okay...” He gave him a hug as best he could with Theo's belly digging into his gut. “Let's get you home.” Theo pulled away from Henderson after a few moments in the hug. “...I'll take the shirt.” Henderson nodded and handed it over. Theo proceeded to undress to his waist, his mood visibly falling once his stomach was exposed. Henderson restrained himself from reaching out and touching the belly again, knowing it would likely just upset Theo. Instead, he hooked his hands under his own armpits and tried not to watch. “So, um... Nine months of this, yeah?” “Yeah...” Theo sighed. “I don't know what I'm gonna do every day looking like this... Like, what will my boss think?” “Mm... You should ask these doctors here for a sick note of some kind, something to explain the swell and letting you off the hook in case you need some days off.” He pulled a hand out and snapped his fingers. “I got it. You've got a tumour.” “A tumour?” Theo grimaced. “What like, cancer? I don't want to lie about having cancer...” “No, no, it could be benign,” Henderson suggested. “But still not good for you because of the size. And-and it's complex and the only surgeon good enough to operate is away for the next nine months. How about that?” Theo stared at Henderson. “You're crazy.” Henderson shook his head. “Naw, you just don't want to admit that I'm a genius.” Theo sighed. “Just take me home...” “Yeah, yeah... Also, you're welcome.” “Huh?” “For the shirt.” “Oh. Yeah, I said ‘thanks' already.” “Sure, but I hadn't said ‘you're welcome' so I said it now. It's only polite.” “Whatever.”

[chancelloramidala]

Catastrophize ► Luke Crain

Chapter two.

( TW: drug abuse, death, suicide)

Theo was very, very, very, very, very drunk. The amount of vodka her body has currently consumed should be concerning, but no one seemed to care. There were bigger issues at hand. Like their sister dead in the other room.

But despite her cold exterior, and lack of sobriety, Theo couldn't help but find Vincent and Luke the most interesting thing there. Their hushed tones as they spoke and gentle touches on one another. It was so domestic for someone like Theo to see with her own two eyes. She tipped her glass back, allowing the cold liquid to fill her mouth and numb her dulled feelings.

She didn't expect Luke to bring anyone to this sort of thing, nonetheless a fucking date it seemed. But she'd be lying if she didn't find Vincent's presence soothing, contrasting the stormy energy inside of the funeral home. Theo couldn't help but watch Vincent comfort Luke, holding his hand, rubbing his back, and later hugging him so tight she swore Luke would burst.

She wanted to know more about Vincent and his intentions with her delicate brother.

Maybe they were just fuck buddies. Maybe Vincent was Luke's dealer. Or maybe, Vincent was actually Luke's friend. Theo couldn't tell, she was too drunk to use her PhD to read the situation.

Then an unfamiliar ringtone started to play. Everyone looked at one another, trying to figure out the source of the incessant noise before Vincent muttered "oh shit" under his breath and fished his phone out of his jacket pocket.

He looked around the room, giving everyone who was staring at him a meek grin. "Sorry, it's my daughter. I'll be quick." The last part of his sentence was obviously directed towards Luke as he turned his head to look at him and pat his shoulder before he left the room to answer the call.

"Who the hell is that guy, Luke?" Steve blurted out once Vincent was out of earshot.

"A friend," Luke said shortly, still looking down at his shaking hands.

Steve scoffed as Theo shot back the rest of her drink into the back of her throat and rolled her eyes. "And you thought that bringing him here was a good way to introduce him to the family? What, is he another addict or something? Come on man, this is a family event.”

Luke’s face turned to look at his older brother with hurt shinning in his red-brimmed eyes. “Shut the fuck up, Steve,” Shirley snapped at him as a wave of protectiveness came over her as she went to Luke’s (and Vincent’s) defense. “At least Vincent found Luke and got him all the way over here and didn’t just give up on him thirty minutes into the search.”

“Oh so Vincent is a savior, huh? Well that just explains it all--”

“He is family, Steve.” Luke’s voice was still shaky and small, but there was passion laced in each word. “You don’t know shit about Vince, so I recommend that you stop making assumptions about him.”

Everyone was shocked, mainly Theo who was fucking proud that her baby brother stood up to this chauvinist asshole that was her eldest brother.

Steve’s face hardened for a moment as he stared at Luke. He couldn’t believe that his brother cared so much more about this man, someone no one else knew besides himself. He was about to open his mouth to say something else before the man in question waltzed into the room with his phone pressed against his ear.

“Hey, Luke,” Vincent said as he walked over to him. “Julia wants to speak with you before she goes to bed, and she’s very insistent for a nine year old.” his tone was playful, but his face said “you really don’t have to take the call if you don’t want to.”

“Oh,” Luke sniffed and wiped his nose with the back of his hand. He was surprised that Julia cared so much about him and his well being, but he was equally honored. “U-Uh, okay.” he held out his hand to take the phone from Vincent, who smiled lightly at him and gave his phone to him.

Luke took the phone and put it against his ear as he started to walk out and into the hall with a small smile on his face. “Julia, hi, your dad tells me...”

Vincent then sat down on the couch Luke just left and pressed his lips into a thin line, clearly reading the room. His face turned apologetic as he bit into his inner cheek and searched for the proper words to say in this type of situation. “I’m sorry for coming here unannounced, I know I’m the last person that needs to be here, but I just want all of you to know that I’m here for Luke.”

Theo glanced at Steve and Shirley, who remained silent as they looked at him and then decided to take matters into her own drunk hands. “Why the fuck do you care so much about Luke anyways?”

“Theo-” Shirley started but Vincent put his hand up to stop her.

“It’s okay,” he sent Shirley a lopsided smile before directing his attention to Theo, who swore she could see at least three of him. “Well, you should know that when I met Luke he was high and running around the streets of LA, just bumping into people before collapsing in the middle of the sidewalk. Around the time that I met Luke, I recently lost my own sister, Frida to a cocaine overdose and years before, my mother to alcoholism because I neglected to give her the proper help and support system she needed. So when I saw Luke, I also saw Frida.”

“So you pitied him?” Steve interrupted.

“Don’t you pity him?” Vincent countered, giving the eldest Crain sibling a pointed, sharp glare. “I didn’t only pity him, but I empathized with him. Addiction isn’t some fucking joke or some moral failing, it’s a disease of the brain. I wasn’t so lucky enough with my sister because I looked down on her and the disease she was suffering with and I lacked the proper education about addiction. I didn’t want anyone else to suffer the way I did when Frida overdosed and my mother drank herself to death, so yeah, no shit I helped Luke.”

Silence filled the air after Vincent finally clamped his mouth shut after his long-winded rant. No one dared to speak after learning this, finding that it would both be completely stupid and idiotic to do so. It was as clear as day that Vincent truly cares about Luke to the three Crain siblings in the room.

Theo then walked over to the mini bar and got Vincent a drink as a silent way for thanking him. Vincent took the whiskey and grinned at her.

.

.

.

The following night was rough for Luke. He couldn't sleep, feeling restless in his bed whilst Vincent slept peacefully in his. Luke couldn't stop thinking about Nell and how she was dead and how fucking unfair it was. He huffed and puffed in his bed, shifting from one side to the next, finding himself unable to feel comfortable.

He looked at the glowing red numbers and saw that it was 3:00 am. Luke turned on to the other side of the bed and sighed deeply. He stared at the wall ahead of him and frowned, knowing that he should at least get some rest for tomorrow.

Then he heard some shuffling in the other side of the room. Luke didn’t want to move, suspecting that it was Vincent going to the bathroom or something. But then he felt the bed dip and a presence behind him.

“Luke,” a sleepy voiced Vincent hummed. “You need to sleep, buddy.”

A beat passed between them as Luke debated whether or not to fake being asleep.

“I can’t.” Luke finally replied before slowly turning to face Vincent.

Even in the dark, Luke could make out the outline of Vincent’s face and the sudden alertness in his eyes. “I know, bud, I know.” the corner of Vincent’s lips curled into a frown. “But you should still try, hm? C’mere,” he opened his arms, inviting Luke into him with a small warm smile.

Luke timidly nodded, knowing that Vincent was right. So he carefully shuffled into Vincent’s arms and swallowed, feeling them wrap around his torso as his head was tucked into the other man’s chest. With one hand, Vincent ran his fingers through Luke’s hair, carefully smoothing out the short brown locks as he hummed a melody. Luke inhaled deeply, taking in Vincent’s fresh mint scent and slowly snaked his own arms around the other man’s waist, wanting him to be as close as humanly possible because he felt safe in Vincent’s arms.

All of the impending anxiety that filled his body ceased as he allowed himself to enjoy Vincent’s calming presence. Vincent smiled into Luke’s hair, feeling the other man relax and presses a gentle kiss to his hairline as he continued to hum, waiting for Luke to be lulled into sleep.

It took only five minutes for sleep to invite Luke.

And it took two for Vincent to follow with a dopey smile on his lips.

.

.

.

Something was up with Luke and Vincent knew it. Towards the end of Nell's service, Luke started to act jumpy and zoned out, which Vincent had earlier attributed to grief but something told him otherwise. He tried to keep an eye out for Luke, wanting to make sure that he was okay but had lost track of him when he was talking with Kevin.

This made Vincent nervous. He didn't like not knowing where Luke was. It made something inside of him worry uncontrollably and started to search for him. Luckily, Luke was just outside on a smoke break, leaning against the wall with a determined look on his face.

Vincent didn’t know what to say as he approached him, fearing that his words would have little affect on the other man. “Vince?” the man in question hums, standing beside Luke with a worried look on his face. “Do you really believe in me?”

There were a multitude of meanings behind that question. Do you really believe me about Hill House? You don’t think I’m crazy? Do you believe I’ll actually beat addiction? And maybe, just maybe (Vincent hoped) Can you love me still? Vincent, momentarily, was at a loss for words. There was no doubt in his mind that he believes Luke, about everything.

About Hill House.

About the nightmares.

About him.

“Of course, I do.” Vincent’s voice was suddenly soft, almost as if he was scared that being louder would ruin the mood. Then, with the hand that wasn’t holding the cigarette to his lips, Vincent took with his own and squeezed it, his thumb brushing against his knuckles.

Luke took the cigarette out from his mouth with a blow of smoke going past his lips before his dark eyes finally settled on Vincent’s face. He didn’t say anything, but a small smile forms on his lips that confuses the hell out of the other man. But once again, Vincent doesn’t trust his words and watches as Luke hesitantly kisses the back of his hand.

Vincent’s cheeks turn pink.

The smile on Luke’s lips only grows, but there’s something different to it.

Vincent’s too caught up in the fact that Luke initiated affection to really pick up on it.

“I’ll see you inside, okay?” Luke tells him.

“Alright,” Vincent squeezes his hand before pressing a kiss to Luke’s cheek. “Don’t stay out too long,”

Luke watches as Vincent goes through the door and stuffs his hand into his jacket pocket. He feels Shirley’s credit card against his finger tips and Theo’s car keys.

He knew what he had to do.

Sorry, he mentally says to Vincent.

.

.

.

Shirley's credit card was gone just like Theo's car. Vincent wanted to cry when he realized the culprit was Luke. What the hell is he thinking? He asked himself as the Crain siblings, who were now accompanied with Hugh, their father, made up ridiculous theories about how Luke was on his way to get high.

Vincent was filled with annoyance and anger towards them, minus Hugh because he didn’t seem to believe what his children were saying, but mainly Steve. The hostility from yesterday and his heightened emotions about how no one else believed in Luke pissed Vincent off.

He had enough of hearing all of this bullshit about Luke putting a needle in his arm, and when Theo said that “suicides can cluster in families”, especially, in twins, Vincent’s anxiety skyrocketed.

“You’re wrong,” he finally said as he rose from the couch outside of Shirley’s office, where the remaining Crain family stood.

“About?” Shirley rose a brow at the man who was oddly silent this whole time, causing her to become suspicious. “Is Luke not at Mass Ave? Do you know where he’s going, Vincent? You need to tell us if you know anything.”

Vincent sighed. “For the hundredth time, I don’t know where Luke is, but I know that he wouldn’t go back to his old habits.”

Steve rolled his eyes, beginning to grow irritated at the other man. “You can believe what you want, but that’s not the Luke we know.”

Vincent felt his blood boil. “Oh, sorry Steve. I forgot my place, I’m just some random guy who gave Luke the support he needed when you lot decided to neglect him, yeah?” He clenched his fists by his sides as he gave Steve the nastiest look he could muster. “You’re full of shit, all of you. How dare you think being 90 days sober is fucking easy.”

He didn’t care if he was out of line right now, everything he was saying had to be said. “All Luke wants is to be normal. He doesn’t even mention that he’s an addict expect you-- and fuck, he just wants someone to listen to him and believe in him. But apparently the only other person who did either of those things is buried six feet under.”

Steve’s jaw tightened as he glared at Vincent. “How fucking dare you say that--”

“The moment Luke went missing, right after Nell’s funeral, you immediately thought he went to get high, not that he was suicidal. That says a lot in itself, doesn’t it?”

All Steve saw was red at this point and went to knock his fist into Vincent’s face, but was stopped by Hugh and Shirley who held him back whilst Theo stood in between him and Vincent.

“You son of a bitch!” Steve spat out.

“Fuck off, Steve!” Theo snarled at him as Vincent just stood there unflinching about the events that were occurring. “Vincent’s right and you fucking know it.”

Shirley carefully looked between Vincent and her older brother. “You two need to cool off.”

Steve huffed and pushed out of his father and sister’s grasps. “Whatever,”

Vincent shook his head and pressed his lips into a thin line as he stepped back and away from this bullshit. “I don’t care if you have beef with me, but what matters right now is finding Luke. So if you want to have another go at me, fucking go for it. But what I’m going to do, is look for him.”

Then he left and no one stopped him.

Masterlist

[ellie-bee242]

The Confession

So I am participating in @fillthevoid-stilinski‘s writing challenge for Teen Wolf and I thought I’d try out something lol.

Read the story with your name (and other info like eye/hair color!) by clicking here and downloading this extension!!!!

Part 1 - Part 2

Prompt: #10 “You’ve changed me... for the better/worse.”

Character: Scott McCall (i wanted to branch out a bit)

Song rec: none

Word count: 1,640 words

Warnings: Swearing (like a requirement for my fics at this point lol), angst, hurt (with no comfort, #sorrynotsorry), blood.

(also just for information Scott and Kira never dated in this fic universe, okay? okay.)

It was the next school semester, just after Allison had been killed by the Oni that Scott met her.

Too many things had changed. Lydia had left, not being able to bear the fact that she had practically felt her best friend’s death. The red-head hadn’t been able to handle all the reminders of her hanging around Beacon Hills so after pleading with her parents, they’d moved.

The group had also lost Issac that summer, bringing them three Pack members short all at once.

And then school had started back up.

Scott still caught glimpses of Allison even though she wasn’t there. It had made him feel so empty to have the halls and classrooms devoid of half of his friends.

But at least there was Stiles and Kira and Malia, and eventually his new Beta, Liam. Bringing him into the pack had made Scott feel less empty. He still regretted changing the kid’s life like Peter had changed his, but he had to admit that he didn’t feel as lonely anymore with Liam keeping him busy as he tried to help the young teen adjust to the supernatural lifestyle.

And then two weeks into the new semester a transfer student appeared in his usual seat. He thought nothing of the (Y/H/C) haired girl at first, and had sat behind Stiles for class instead.

But then she had showed up again, out of no where, at the most unexpected of times. 

Scott was fighting one of the assassins that the Benefactor had financed to kill him when suddenly an ungodly high pitched shrieking noise had literally sent the person flying into a wall, their ears dripping with blood as they crumpled in an unconscious heap on the floor and she had run into the room.

“Are you okay?” She asked quickly, checking Scott over for injuries while he stared in shock at her concerned face.

“Where the hell did you come from?” He wondered.

“I was in the library and I felt-” She stopped herself mid sentence.

“What?” He asked.

“I felt the presence of death.” She mumbled, expecting him to laugh at her.

“You’re a Banshee?!” He exclaimed.

“Yeah, how’d you know?” She demanded.

“I-I had a friend.... She was a Banshee. But she couldn’t do that!” He pointed to the person on the floor.

“Sure she could, with the proper training.” The girl nodded, her (Y/E/C) eyes darting between him and the unconscious would-be-killer on the floor.

“How... How did you do that?”

“I can send my voice anywhere in the world if I focus enough. But more than my immediate sight kind of rips up my vocal cords for a few weeks.” She cringed.

“You can actually do that? With your voice?”

“Well my scream, yeah. It’s my weapon.” She shrugged. “Werewolves have claws and fangs, I need to be able to protect myself too.” She told him.

“You know about werewolves?”

“Yeah. My powers run in my family. My mom was a banshee.” She shrugged. “All the women in my family are.”

“Wow.” He said, impressed.

“Anyways. I’m glad you’re okay.” She mumbled awkwardly. “And I should probably go collect my books and stuff and go home. It’s getting late and I have a curfew. You can take it from here right?” She cringed before turning and preparing to head out of the room.

“Wait!” Scott placed a hand on her arm and she spun to face him. “What’s your name?” He asked.

“It’s (Y/N).” She told him with a small smile. “And you’re Scott McCall. The true alpha.”

“You know about that huh?”

“Of course, everyone does.” She shrugged.

“Oh.” He nodded.

“Anyways. I’ll see you in English. Try not to die okay?” She teased before heading out. The werewolf stared after her for a moment, amazed.

(Y/N) had officially become part of the Pack soon after. Stiles had been suspicious of her at first, but when she’d unlocked the encrypted lists and her name had appeared on the last one he grudgingly agreed that she wasn’t actually a supernatural assassin. After Stiles’ acceptance she was fully integrated into Scott’s Pack.

She’d help them with countless things that year. Her and Scott started dating over the summer and became inseparable by the beginning of the next school year.

And when Theo had blown apart the pack in his quest for power she’d been right by Scott’s side, supporting him but also being the voice of reason.

“Theo isn’t exactly trustworthy, clearly. I doubt what he said about Stiles was actually true.” She blurted out one night while they patrolled the school halls, looking for the Beast.

“Logically, I know you’re right.” Scott muttered.

“But?” She prompted, knowing there was more.

“But... Why didn’t he just tell me?” He frowned.

“Scott, I love you, but your optimistic outlook on things is kind of.... Intimidating.” She worded her sentence carefully.

“Intimidating?” He scoffed.

“You always say that there has to be another way, that we should never resort to killing people-”

“Well unless you’re acting in self defense!” He interrupted.

“I know that. But that’s because I can read between your lines. Not everyone else can all the time. It’s a little frightening to think what your reaction might be I had to tell you that I’d killed someone.” She pointed out. “And Stiles is your best friend. You’re his best friend. He didn’t want to risk you being disappointed, or worse, mad.” She shrugged.

“That makes a lot of sense.” He agreed slowly.

“I know. I’m a smart cookie like that.” She grinned. “Now, about the Beast. I don’t think it’s here anymore. I’m not getting any deathy vibes.” She shrugged.

“Alright. I guess we’ll-”

“Shh.” (Y/N) said quickly.

“What?”

“I thought I heard something.” She muttered. Scott strained his ears, focusing in to all the noises around him with his werewolf senses.

“I don’t-”

“MOVE!” She suddenly shoved him hard across the hall as someone slashed their claws at her chest, ripping deep into her skin. She collapsed with a cry of pain, her body unmoving on the floor.

“(Y/N)!” Scott shouted seconds before he felt claws cut across the back of his neck and he felt the familiar paralysis of Kanima venom seep into his veins. He collapsed to the ground next to his girlfriend, watching in horror as blood started spreading out in a puddle from under her body.

“Oops, I think I cut a little too deep.” Tracey sneered. “But Theo doesn’t want you in the way, so oh well.” She smirked before running down the hall as (Y/N) gasped for air.

“(Y/N)! (Y/N) look at me!” Scott said quickly.

“S-Scott.... It-... It hurts.” She mumbled, wincing at the at the pain.

“(Y/N)!” He fought to raise his hand up to reach her, but the venom was still heavy in his system. “(Y/N) hang on, okay? Just focus on me, please! Please, I can’t lose you. Not you too.” He begged her.

“Scott... I-I-I love.. You.” She whimpered. “You-... You changed my life... For the better.... I was so lonely before.... And then I met you....” She confessed with a smile as tears escaped the corners of her eyes and landed on the floor under her cheek.

“(Y/N) please, just focus on me, keep your eyes on me!” He insisted. He focused on making his fingers moved, and when they twitched he moved to healing his hand.

“Scott....” She mumbled as her skin turned paler.

“(Y/N) keep talking to me, please.” He requested. “I’m trying, I’m trying to heal.” He said quickly. “I’m going to help you.” He promised.

“It’s okay....” She promised. “Scott, it’s okay... I love you.” He heard her heart beat grow fainter as her eyes slipped closed, her smile disappearing from her lips as unconsciousness claimed her for it’s own.

“(Y/N)!” Scott shouted. He struggled against the venom that laid heavy in his veins, weighing them down. His arm made excruciating progress towards (Y/N)’s unmoving form, and when he finally managed to get his fingers to circle her wrist he held tight. “(Y/N), please. Please, open your eyes. I can’t lose you too.” He begged.

He squeezed her wrist in his hold, and his own heart pounded so loud that her weak beats were nearly lost to his ears.

And then, miraculously he heard another sound.

“Here!” He shouted quickly. “We’re over here! Liam! Stiles!”

“Scott!” Stiles turned down the hall and the second he saw the both of them on the floor he started running with the young Beta hot on his heels. “Sco- oh shit. Liam, Liam call nine-one-one!” He shouted as he took off his flannel over shirt and flipped (Y/N) onto her back. He pressed the material against the gash on her chest as Liam dug out his phone and called in the medical emergency.

By the time the ambulance arrived Scott had healed from the Kanima venom, and had taken over holding (Y/N), listening intently to the stubborn beat of her heart as he pressed his own jacket over top of Stiles shirt.

“Please, (Y/N). Don’t leave me.” He begged softly. He let the EMTs take her from his arms and watched anxiously as they loaded her onto a stretcher and wheeled her out to the ambulance.

“C’mon, Scott. I’ll take you to the hospital.” Stiles muttered. Feeling numb as he heard the EMTs talk about how slim (Y/N)’s chances were, Scott simply nodded and let his friend pull him along to his old blue Jeep.

“Stiles....” He mumbled. “I can’t lose her. I can’t.... I can’t do it again.” He mumbled.

“You won’t.” Stiles said firmly. “She’s a fighter Scott.” He insisted.

“Allison was a fighter too.” Scott pointed out.

“(Y/N) is twice as stubborn as Allison was.” Stiles pointed out quickly as he sped along behind the ambulance. “She’ll be fine.”

Tagged: @amethystmerm4id, @fillthevoid-stilinski, @susybird

let me know if you’d like me to make a second part with the outcome. Otherwise, it’s up to you to decide the exact ending.

[sherristockman]

The Problem With Organic Hydroponics Dr. Mercola By Dr. Mercola Hydroponically grown vegetables and berries are increasing in popularity. But is hydroponics a healthy, sustainable — and organic — way to grow food? Section 7 CFR 205.2051,2 of the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s (USDA) organic regulations require that your crop rotation plan maintains or improves soil organic matter. Since hydroponics does not involve the use of soil, it does not qualify for organic certification. Despite such clear-cut distinctions in the law, the Organic Trade Association and the hydroponic lobby, led by the Coalition for Sustainable Organics, are pushing to rewrite organic rules to include hydroponics. They’re also seeking to reform the National Organic Program (NOP), reduce the influence of the National Organic Standards Board (NOSB) and alter the composition of the NOSB to “improve trade representation.” Don’t be fooled by the name. The Coalition for Sustainable Organics worked against the organic industry by supporting Senate Agriculture Committee chairman Pat Roberts’ bill (a version of the so-called DARK Act) to pre-empt states’ rights to label GMOs and require the USDA to provide consumers with information describing the benefits of biotechnology. They got their way, and the American people got voluntary “smart labels” in lieu of GMO labeling. In return, Roberts has become a strong supporter of the Coalition. Hostile Takeover by Corporate Organics As noted by Dave Chapman of Long Wind Farm in an article discussing the Coalition for Sustainable Organics’ Congressional testimony in June:3 “We are witnessing an attempted hostile takeover of the National Organic Program … The very fact that Congress was listening to a fringe group like the Coalition for guidance on organics is a clear sign that the organic community is in deep trouble … Melody Meyer, a spokesperson for United Natural Foods and one of the leading hydro lobbyists, has described the hydro battle as a conflict between two parts of the organic community: The Trade and the Movement. This is not an accurate description because the Coalition for Sustainable [Organics] has never been a part of the organic community … There has been talk of creating a new label within the USDA for “Certified Hydroponic Organic.” I would suggest a better label: “USDA Certified Fauxganic.” The new Fauxganic label could also include the CAFO dairies, the CAFO eggs, CAFO meat and the magically transformed conventional grain that has flooded the organic market in recent years. At last, there will be a proper label to clarify so much of what is currently confusing and dismaying the eaters of America. Fauxganic producers can be recognized by their common belief that healthy soil is irrelevant … [Coalition for Sustainable Organics] spokesperson Theo Crisantes ... claimed there was too much public debate. Decisions need to be made behind closed doors by a few power brokers. It was perfect symbolism that his first Congressional testimony to a House subcommittee was also behind closed doors.” Can Hydroponics Be Organic? As mentioned, hydroponics does not qualify for the organic designation for the simple fact that organics must improve soil quality, and hydroponics grow plants in a liquid medium without soil. Yet hydroponic operators have been certified organic by USDA accredited certification agencies,4,5,6 and the hydroponics industry wants the organic certification to be open game to the industry at large. But there’s yet another problem. Hydroponics also use chemicals, which organic producers are barred from using. Worse, commercial hydroponic growers will rarely reveal the fertilizers they use. According to Chapman: “When I served on the USDA Hydroponic Task Force, we were unable to get a single hydroponic member of the task force to share exactly what they used to fertilize their crop. We were told it was a secret. These are efficiently run organizations that do what they do well, but they have no business selling their products as organic unless they are willing to profoundly change how they farm. And so far they are not willing to do that. They are only interested in using the USDA label for the price premium.” Are Hydroponic Veggies on Par With Organic? Many consumers, prompted by the media, Silicon Valley and futurists, mistakenly believe that hydroponically grown veggies are on par with organic, or at the very least, that they’re better for your health and the environment than conventionally grown vegetables. Alas, while growing food indoors does reduce the need for pesticides, it does not automatically mean hydroponic vegetables are pesticide-free.7,8 As noted in a previous Civil Eats article,9 organic farming, with its emphasis on improving soil quality, is “a ‘plant positive’ rather than ‘pest negative’ philosophy, focused on growing vigorous, healthy plants and animals imbued with all their natural powers of resistance.” Indeed, this is precisely what the NOSB stressed in its formal 2010 recommendation to the NOP on the issue of organic hydroponics:10 “The organic farming method derives its name from the practice of maintaining or improving the organic matter (carbon containing) content of farm soil through various methods and practices. The reason this is the central theme and foundation of organic farming is not inherent to the organic matter itself, but is based on the importance of the organic matter to the living organisms that inhabit soils … These microscopic organisms, found in abundance in well maintained soils, interact in a symbiotic manner with plant roots, producing the effect of strengthening the plant to be able to better resist or avoid insect, disease and nematode attack, as well as assisting the plant in water and mineral uptake. The abundance of such organisms in healthy, organically maintained soils form a biological network, an amazing and diverse ecology that is ‘the secret,’ the foundation of the success of organic farming accomplished without the need for synthetic insecticides, nematicides, fumigants, etc. In practice, the organic farmer is not just a tiller of the soil, but a steward of the soil ecology … Observing the framework of organic farming … it becomes clear that systems of crop production that eliminate soil from the system, such as hydroponics or aeroponics, cannot be considered as examples of accept able organic farming practices.” Hydroponics Compares to Conventional Produce As for nutritional value, hydroponics tends to be on par with, and frequently lower than, conventionally grown produce. According to one study,11 hydroponically grown vegetables had lower levels of carotenoids such as beta-carotene and lutein than conventional vegetables. They might make sense if you were on a mission to Mars, but if you live on earth, this is the last type of food you want to eat. Hydroponics also present unique food safety issues. Since they’re grown in a high humidity environment, they can be more susceptible to pathogenic bacteria such as Salmonella. On the upside, hydroponic growers tend to produce higher yields compared to comparable greenhouse operations using soil.12 Will NOSB Reverse Stance on Hydroponics? Seven years ago, the NOSB laid out a clear and compelling case for what organic farming entails, and hydroponics does not fit the bill. We don’t need to get rid of hydroponics. It has its place. But to rewrite the rules to offer organic certifications to soilless growing methods is to turn back the clock and push organics back several steps. Even if such attempts fail, the organic industry is still struggling with weakening standards and loopholes allowing for less than organic growers to achieve organic certification. With the watering down of organics, it seems clear we need to go beyond organic certification — hence the rise of biodynamic farming and stronger grass fed certification. Last year, biodynamic farming in the U.S. increased by 16 percent, adding nearly 21,800 acres to its fold.13 Biodynamic farming is both organic and regenerative — and then some. While an organic farmer can section off as little as 10 percent of the farm for the growing of certified organic goods, in order to be certified as a biodynamic farmer, your entire farm must be biodynamic. Biodynamic certification also requires 10 percent of the land be dedicated to increasing biodiversity, such as forest, wetland or insectary. To evaluate the impact of biodynamic methods on soil quality, Demeter USA, a nonprofit certifier of biodynamic goods, has started collecting topsoil samples from participating farms. Eventually, this will tell us just how quickly soil quality can be improved using biodynamic methods. Miracle-Gro and Monsanto Are in Favor of Hydroponics Getting back to the issue of pesticides and chemicals for a moment, if current news is any indication, it may not be long before hydroponic produce becomes as prone to chemical contamination as conventional produce. As reported by The Cannabist, Scotts Miracle-Gro — which has a long-standing partnership with Monsanto to market and distribute Roundup14,15 — has quietly invested half a billion dollars into a wholly owned subsidiary named the Hawthorne Gardening Co. with the aim of capturing the hydroponic business, starting with marijuana growers.16 It’s goal, according to Scotts CEO Jim Hagedorn, is17 “To become the best supplier of hydroponic growing products in the world to both the consumer and professional markets.” For the nine months of 2017, Hawthorne sales grew by 160 percent. In 2016, the company grew 300 percent. These sales spikes are largely due to the acquisitions of Gavita, which sells grow lights, and two nutrient manufacturers, Botanicare and General Hydroponics. Healthy Soils Are Key to Improved Nutrition Research shows healthy “living” soils make for food with better nutrient content. And by “living,” I mean soils that are teeming with microorganisms such as bacteria, fungi, protozoa and microscopic roundworms called nematodes. Far from being scourges to be avoided at all costs, microorganisms are an essential component of life. We now understand that it is the cooperation between these microorganisms, the soil’s biome and the plants’ roots, called rhizosphere, that is ultimately responsible for allowing the plant to absorb nutrients from the soil in which it’s grown. Insects and weeds also have their place in this circle of life. Insects are nature’s garbage collectors. Thanks to their specialized digestive systems, they remove that which is not fit for us to eat, things we cannot digest. And weeds are nature’s way of evolving the soil — it’s an intermediate plant that mobilizes nutrients in order to alter the soil, making it more suitable for the next evolutionary level of plants to grow in it. Many don’t realize that in a healthy ecosystem, well over 95 percent of the insects are beneficial and don’t harm you or the plant. Once you understand this natural cycle, it allows you to address food quality, weeds, insects and plant disease at its point of origin, without ever resorting to chemical herbicides, pesticides, fungicides, synthetic fertilizers or genetic engineering. As explained by Agri-Dynamics founder Jerry Brunetti, whom I interviewed in 2013, the root ball of the plant is the “gut” or intestinal tract of the plant. It houses microbes just like the human gut does, provided the soil system is healthy. Soil health then connects to everything up the food chain, from plant and insect health, all the way up to animal- and human health. Health, therefore, truly begins in the soils in which our food is grown. As I said earlier, hydroponics has its place, but the fact that we’re even discussing organic certification for hydroponics means we’ve lost sight of what organics is all about. As noted by Chapman, following the NOSB meeting18 in April:19 “When I first began discussing this flaw in the standards with the Organic Trade Association … they told me they supported a quick resolution to exclude hydroponics. That was before they realized that one of their biggest clients, Driscoll’s, was also the biggest hydro “organic” producer in the world … But this issue has already been debated on and off in the [NOP] for the last nine years … Public opposition to the inclusion of hydro in organic certification is rapidly building. Some people are only now finding out that hydroponic is being allowed on a massive scale in organic certification. Most customers (and many farmers!) still have no idea. At the Denver meeting, there were many people and organizations testifying to keep healthy soil as the basis for organic certification … There is a storm building, and the outcome is likely to be a train wreck causing terrible damage to the USDA organic label. It seems unlikely that the USDA will throw out hundreds of millions of dollars in sales of pseudo-organic, and it is impossible that the growing opposition will just go away. This is a battle for the soul of organic. The outcome seems to be a divorce or a civil war.”

[strathoa]

Pending issues around APC management workflows

Notes for the Mar 17th CCC round table on APC management in London

Pablo de Castro, Open Access Advocacy Librarian, University of Strathclyde

We have recently received this FOI request above – together with the rest of Scottish HEIs. The request looks very sensible and we’re happy to share the data we have at the Library. We do however know that this is but a fraction of the APC payments that are being made within the institution, and we suspect many other universities find themselves in a similar position.

There's a lot of justified resistance against the APC business model, but when considering this topic, librarians should perhaps try to also see themselves as service providers for researchers besides advocates for a specific way to deal with scholarly comms. Regardless of the strong opinions around article processing charges in Libraryland, researchers everywhere are regularly paying for APCs with their grant budget or directly from their own pockets. This is because they believe in the advantages of Open Access, and it is ironic that the OA advocates at their institutions will refuse to provide them support for a better management of such payments because they oppose the specific business model.

The first step in the design of such a supporting service is to know what the landscape for APC fee payments looks like at a specific institution. The OpenAIRE FP7 Post-Grant OA Pilot held a workshop in April 2015 with experts in Open Access implementation from institutions in different countries. When asked to provide an estimation on the percentage of the total amount of paid APCs at their institution that the library was able to 'see', the UK rep (UCL) said 80%, the Dutch rep (TU Delft) said 60% and the Spanish rep (CSIC) said 20%. The Library Director from the Spanish research institution added that it was not the library's role to chase the APC payments directly made by researchers, but rather the publishers' responsibility to provide data to the institutions around a business model that provides a large additional source of income for them.

The challenging process for collecting such data in the UK – where the research funders' support for the APC-based Gold Open Access model via block grant transfers to certain institutions makes it much simpler for centrally-managed workflows for APC payments to be implemented – is accurately described in Theo Andrew's text on 'APCs paid in the wild'. Even if the collective effort is being of much help for clarifying the workflows, it's easy to see there are still plenty of inefficiencies in the system.

Libraries can do much to get as comprehensive a picture of the APC payment activity as possible via the right dissemination strategies, and are jointly collecting impressive sets of data around centrally-managed APC payments. However, the behavioural change required for researchers to resort by default to their library for at least tracking the APC payment activity may well need support from publishers, especially where there’s no institutional Gold OA fund available to centrally support APC payments. Keeping in mind that APC management is regularly a source of headaches for publishers too, it should not be that hard to come up with mechanisms to jointly tackle the issues posed by APC management at an institutional level. This would be very much in the spirit of the Jisc’s Desiderata on how publishers can help meeting the Open Access policy requirements from research funders. 

The CCC RightsLink service for Open Access is a potentially interesting concept in this regard, allowing publishers to team up around a single tool for dealing with APC management. There may be other areas where a dialogue with the CCC may not be that fluid, but there’s no harm in jointly trying to identify potential opportunities to improve the workflows for this specific one.

After leading an APC funding initiative, centrally managed by the funder like the EC FP7 Post-Grant OA Pilot, the rationale behind a system like the Gates Foundation’s Chronos also looks very well-thought and attractive – this is of course a research funder’s perspective, but there’s no shortage of examples for centrally managed APC funding initiatives. If distributed APC management raises such complexities, why not restrict the conversation to funders, publishers and authors leaving institutions outside the loop? Institutions may rightly complain that this is their area of expertise and that it's aligned with other Open Access activities such as institutional repository management and the wider work around Green OA, but there are also many voices complaining that this specific APC management task overloads libraries with a very complex task to perform if researchers do not follow the proper procedure for their APC payments. 

There are best practices out there, even excellent practices, see the UCL payment dataset at OpenAPC. However, this is only possible if there is an institutional Gold OA fund that allows quick centrally-managed APC payments.

It’s also possible to receive information on APC payments for a given institution directly from the publishers – or at least from some publishers, see an example below. However, this will normally require the institution to either have a subscription or to be in the process of deciding whether to join an offsetting agreement. If publishers were able/willing to regularly share this info with institutions as part of the commitments linked to a national-level offsetting agreement, then things could perhaps start to improve.

We also need better means for tracking APC payments – spreadsheets are a rather medieval mechanism for this purpose. EPrints may well be the best option thus far, but publishers could also help here. In the end it all comes down to system interoperability – Chronos has for instance linked its manuscript submission option to every major manuscript processing system out there, thus ensuring a kind of funder-publisher system interoperability that leaves institutions out. Research Information Management Systems (CRIS) like Pure or others would be a suitable option too if vendors managed to apply the required data model. 

There’s clearly an interesting discussion on APC management workflows to be had among different stakeholders in the landscape. The CCC round table tomorrow at the Institute of Directors in London may well provide a very useful opportunity.