#➶ when you make a mistake you live with it for fix it (about roy)

[itsclydebitches]

Don't mind me, everyone, just gonna slip on my Tedependent conspiracy hat for a bit...

Okay, for real though, can we talk about how Trent's backstory in 3x06 completely re-contextualizes his dinner with Ted in 1x03? Based on my own interpretation, the implied timeline is that Trent was married to a woman, attempted to come out to her and was dismissed (perhaps in large part because they were married: what do you mean you're gay? You can't be. You love me, etc.), either having his daughter forced Trent to become more honest about what he and his family needed, or they had her in an attempt to "fix" the marriage, she gets caught in the crossfire of all this, Trent comes out again, this time his wife believes him, they divorce, are still good friends, and their daughter is happier than ever because she has two loving parents who are now living their best lives.

Given her age - 3 at the start of the series, about 6 now - that means there's a decent possibility that Trent was still married at the beginning of the show.

And that his dinner with Ted is one of the things that pushed him to try coming out again.

As his core Ted is someone who is authentic and that authenticity is what catches Trent's interest. He's dismissive of it at first, literally thinking it's a "fucking joke," only to later end up with the revelation, "You really mean that, don't you?" - that Ted honestly enjoyed spending time with him. AKA, Ted says and does what he means, even when it seems completely unbelievable. How freeing must that be to see? I'm just imagining this interview-turned-dinner through the eyes of a man who is still unhappily married, mostly closeted, and struggling to help his daughter through the stress of that dynamic. Then he meets this sunshine of a coach who is so authentically himself that it initially comes across as an act, an exaggeration, a joke. But Ted never wavers, simply refuses to be anything other than himself. Soon he's doing even more than that, breaking down gender norms by characterizing the masculine, aggressive Roy Kent as the "little girl" from A Wrinkle in Time, burdened with the responsibility of leadership. He turns what should have been the end of a horrific day of shadowing into a dinner date and Trent finds himself answering the hard-hitting questions instead of his interviewee. Ted brushes off his accusation of greed with, "Wait, I'm supposed to be getting paid?" but Trent is completely caught off guard by Ted's "What do you love?"

The textual answer is "writing" and the fun fandom answer is "you," but if this is a Trent who still hasn't fully come out yet that's! A hell! Of a question!!! A closeted, queer individual's mind is going to jump to their biggest secret and, when offered an out, they're going grasp at it, so Trent eagerly agrees with Ted's guess of "writing" the same way Colin eagerly pulls the 'This is a gay bar? Haha, my mistake' card and makes a run for the door. Reading this interaction as Trent not just being gay, but potentially being closeted and unhappily married makes it less about the journalism (this strange coach likes me and thinks I can be a good person despite my invasive career choice) and more about his sexuality. Oh, no big deal, just having an intimate dinner with another good-looking man who's questioning me on love of all things and slowly inspiring me to be the best version of myself, which would require coming out to my wife again. This is a totally normal and not at all life-changing night! I definitely don't need to run away now!!

Via this reading Trent's article feels so loaded. Ted is "out there in the community" either "bravely or stupidly facing the music." That sounds a hell of a lot like a parallel to literally coming out and facing the music of a community's potential rejection, with Ted's American background/inexperience/unique personality acting as a stand-in for sexuality; the reasons he's labeled a "wanker" before anyone actually gets to know him - as the pub trio does while those very words are narrated by Higgins.

And then we have this:

"If the Lasso way is wrong, it's hard to imagine being right.... and though I believe that Ted Lasso will fail here... I can't help but root for him."

There are other elements at play here, like the football's celebration of ego and the threat of the club being relegated, but underneath it really sounds like a still-cynical Trent wanting to see the kind of changed world that those like Ted could bring about, but not really believing that it's possible. Given his history, is he really just talking about football when it comes to "the Lasso way"? I doubt it. Trent is potentially feeling trapped at this point in time, pessimistic to the point where yes, he still thinks that Ted will fail at football and creating a more inclusive, accepting community... but even still, Trent can't help but root for him. Of course he can't. He wants what Ted is offering. He needs it.

But then, of course, Ted succeeds! Not just in doing well by the club, but by the community as a whole. He maintains that inspiration and hope until, potentially, Trent felt like he could do something about his own situation. He found the nerve and strength to try again. So he comes out to his wife, they divorce, their daughter is happy, he goes on a date with a mustached man at the local pub, ditches him to try and 'interview' Ted, blows up his career because he realizes that his job is undermining the very thing he's been rooting for and he can't not give Ted a heads up, begins shadowing Ted as he looks for something "deeper," and then comes out to Colin, gazing wistfully across the water as he imagines being able to kiss a man after a win...

I'm not saying Ted Lasso is going to go there - and I'm DEFINITELY not saying there should be ANY accusations of queer baiting if/when they don't, because we've absolutely built the majority of this ship in fandom spaces - but I AM saying that if Trent's potential intersection of his history with Ted's influence and Ted's desire to shake things up while imagining bisexual triangles actually led to something... it would be a damn well done setup!

[bitter-hibiscus]

I absolutely your Robin Jason headcannons, do you have any more? Maybe some Red Hood ones as well?

!!! im so happy to be getting these asks this is so fun

More Jaybin hcs (part one here):

He has a bunch of 1960s style clothes because Rena likes dressing like a mix of Amy Winehouse and Twiggy

baby goth in the making thanks to Natalia. she gives him a collection of Edgar Allen Poe's poems and he's just hook, line, and sinker into the subculture

He usually listens to metal bands but his guilty pleasure music is slow ballads and gayboy pop (think Kevin Atwater and Troye Sivan)

His favorite rogue to fight is KGBeast because of sentimentality, since KGB is the first rogue he ever defeated as Robin

He has pimples on his thighs and neck but somehow never on his face

He hates having his nails painted because of sensory issues, but lets Rena paint them anyway

His favorite of Dick's teammates is Vic, because he let Jason watch him fix one of Kori's alien weapons once, and he's super patient and kind and answers all of Jason's questions

Red Hood hcs:

Still mostly listens to metal but his favorite band is Rainbow Kitten Surprise (his favorite song is Finalist)

He has a journal where he writes shitty, angsty poetry with a fountain pen

He can never quite resist petting dogs during patrol, so there are multiple pictures online of Mafia Boss Red Hood playing with civilian's puppies

Has a tattoo of a wilded rose on top of his batarang scar to hide it. It's corny and ugly as hell but that was kind of the point. After he starts dating Rose he tells her it's because they were destined to meet. She gags every time

full-fledged romantic goth now. I'm talking manic panic white base, big eyeliner, and fake fangs. I'm talking huge messy hair with about a ton of hairspray. I'm talking "hates that every goth clothing he can find has bats on it"

His main mug is one of those corny millennial "don't talk to me until I've had my coffee" ones that Roy got for him during the outlaws. Jason uses it ironically but Roy thinks he also finds it funny

Sometimes when he's feeling nostalgic Jason will lay down on a rooftop and try to find where Oa is up in the sky, because he and Kyle looked for constellations together during Cosmic Mistake

Contrary to popular belief, his favorite superhero isn't Wonder Woman, it's Black Canary. Which is too bad because she hates his guts

Sent Sasha to live with an ex-con he trusted in South Dakota. He still sends her gifts often but they don't talk anymore since they realized how bad he was to her mental health

Deathstroke's #5 hater. Loses only to all 3 Wilson children (minus Res), Cassandra Cain, and Oliver Queen

Really wants to meet Connor Hawke because he was actually being genuine in GA Vol3 when he told Ollie he'd always wanted to meet him, and has since really really wanted to meet all of the Arrows even though none of them like him. He's the world's worst fanboy

Will do anything Talia asks of him but spits on Ra's face if he so much as looks in Jason's direction

Calls Damian "little prince" in Arabic (Amir Le-Zghir) specifically because of the book, but ALSO because it was what Willis called him when he was a child

Duke is his favorite bat because he isn't afraid to make fun of Jason, gets into a shit ton of trouble, and swears around Bruce like it's nothing

Whew, I think that's enough for a single post. Still have a lot more though lmao

[lorkonsghost]

Here's a sneak peek into April dating a Wayne kid au I'm writing. Title work in progress

The Red Hood, The Red Head, and The Big Green Turtles

He just wants to be Jason again

Jason has no idea why he’s fighting alien robots with almost 6ft tall turtles, or why the girl he started dating a month ago dating is also fighting said alien robots but he wasn’t really going to question it. He was fighting alien robots makes a lot of things easier if you don’t question them wait are those fucking ninjas and why did the turtle in red say their name like it’s a bad thing. Jason really rethinking coming to New York to go drinking by himself was a bad idea maybe if he at least brought Roy he wouldn't be in this mess.

 

1 month ago, and 2 weeks after Jason’s 21 birthday

 

Jason was getting sick of always having someone tag along everytime he went drinking, for his 21st birthday wasn’t the problem, but the 4 times he tried after that doing it solo was the first time he tried it Dick showed up not 10 seconds after his first shot the next tine he did it was in star city and Roy showed up before even his first shot. The third time it had to be a joke because why did Rose fucking Wilson show up at the bar he was drinking at in central city she normally never even visit central city. The fourth time he knew it was joke because he went to the most swear rat bar in Gotham and for fuck sake why was Bruce their wearing a fucking fake mustache. Jason wasn’t really annoyed at not drinking alone if he actually wanted to do that he would just stay home and buy a few beers with Bruce’s credit card but it was the fact that he kept running into people he new he just wanted to get drunk and make a few mistakes but no now somebody he new was their and he can’t go embarrassing himself in front of them he had reputation to up hold. So that’s why he’s in New York he knows almost no hero’s who even touch New York so he thought no problems.

 

Jason was a few drinks in when he first saw her it looked like the first time she ever been in bar by herself and Jason thought why would she choose such a warn down bar like this. Jason took a shot for confidence and approached her thinking the most he could do is keep her company.

 

“Hello their beautiful looking kinda lonely mind if I join.” Jason say with his buzzed confidence

 “Hmph ha ha ha are you serious my ex had better pick up lines.” the red headed girl says

“Sorry I never been the kind of guy to try pick up a girl this way.” Jason says with a slightly bruised pride

“Oh so how you do it mister aren’t you look lonely miss.” Her blue eyes smiled behind her glass

“honestly most of the time we just start dating or they fall for bad boy charm” Jason with a cocky smile

“Sorry dated one bad boy don’t know if I need another” her red hair drops a bit but she says with a cheer in her voice

Jason doesn’t know actually why he tried flirting with her Jason knew it wasn’t good to get involved with a civilian Isabel taught him that he missed the flight attendant. But maybe it was the alcohol In his system, or it was the fact he wanted to ignore the hero stuff that’s also probably why he wanted to drink  without anyone he new he just wanted a night where he’s okay to be somebody other than Jason Todd the red hood son of Batman in somebody’s eye just Jason.

 

“I never introduced myself I’m Jason I’m not just a bad boy I also happen to read pride and prejudice.” Jason says in half cocky smile with another swig of his drink

“Okay mister Jason tell me your favorite quote and I’ll tell you my name” Her smile softens

“I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun. I know the original quote is about falling in love but it’s like I lived my life by it”  Jason says trying to hide the emotions he feels when he says it

“My names April so you where telling the truth about reading it” April say with a reassuring smile

Jason collects himself for a moment he’s kinda surprised how far he’s come along in this conversation. Jason really was only Jason right now no baggage to unravel yet and he’s okay with that right now it only him, April, his slowly blurring vision, and the hope maybe he could get a date out of this.

“So miss April tell me something other than your name please”. Jason say with a half smile

“Well currently I’m trying to be a journalist but get the last 5 credits of my degree I need to intern under another journalist for a year.” April says with a slight annoyed frown on her face

“so what’s the problem can’t find respectable enough journalist or something else” Jason says trying to offer A chance to vent

“It’s not that it’s just any intern ship I apply for needs me full time and my home life just doesn't allow that right now* April says with happier expression

Jason wants to call in a favor from Clark or Lois so bad right know he really could solve this girls problems with a phone call. But Jason was taught by Bruce, Ras, Dick, and Talia you can’t solve all the problems even if two them he would stab and not regret it and Bruce and Dick have been off his shit list for a good minute. But all of them where right he can’t just solve her problem for no reason but Jason wanted to do he makes a compromise.

“Okay that’s problem I could possibly help with” Jason says with cockiest smile yet

“Oh how so” April says with curiosity

“So a family friend is a journalist I could put in a word for and give you a chance at something buuut with it would be uup to you to convince them to agree to whatever youuu propose” Jason say with seriousness but with slurring

“Are you serious why would you do that for me” April says questionably

“Well I could ask you for a date as compensation but instead here’s what in going to do I give them a word if they give you a chance you go on date with me as celebration if they don’t drop my number we never talk again” Jason says with a smile

“Well mister Jason you got a deal and if don’t get I might stillll give you a chaaaasnccce for at least not being a creeeep” April tries to say a little flirty

Jason grabs a napkin and calls the waiter over to closes his tab and ask to borrow a pen and writes his number down

“call me in the morning I’ll set up an interview” Jason say as gets and walks over to April

Jason kisses the back of April hand and says as looks into her eyes once more ”Did you admire me for my impertinence?”

April laughs “yeah I did.”

Jason offers to pay for April’s tab as well but she’s says it’s okay and as Jason leaves he wonders if he’s doing the smart thing involving April in his life.

[hazelsmirrorball]

Valentines number one hater | Jason Todd x Fem! Reader

parings: Jason Todd x Fem! Reader

summary: Jason hates Valentine's Day with a burning passion. When he decides to take out his trash he bumps into his next door neighbor, Y/n. Y/n is obsessed with Valentines and is attempting to go on a nice valentines day but her plans don’t go as planned when she gets stuck in the elevator with her neighbor. warnings: enemies to lovers?Jason being a little bit annoying, love triangle at the end, makeout session. Also english isn’t my main language so if there’s any mistake I am sorry!! a/n: Hey! I’m back after a long break, since Valentine's day is one of my favorite holidays I decided to make a mini series called Cupid’s fourteen love stories where I write each day of february leading up to valentine's day. I think this is the most I have written in a while. I hope you enjoy lots of love.

Cupid’s Fourteen love stories masterlist. regular masterlist

previous imagine.

Jason looked at the tv in front of him changing the channels as quickly as possible trying to avoid another cringy romance movie but by the looks of it, it was quite inevitable since it was valentine's day after all. He sighed, deciding on leaving the notebook playing in the background on mute. Jason leaned against his couch trying to get as comfortable as possible, he chugged down the drink he had in his hand while looking at his phone for any missing text messages. He had taken the day off and Dick gladly covered for him, which made things easier for him to somewhat relax.

Jason didn’t have anything to worry about, he didn’t have to call to make dinner reservations, he didn’t have to spend loads of money on dumb valentines decor, he didn’t need to buy gifts, he didn’t have to plan over the top dates, he didn’t need to dress up and all this  because he had been blessed on being alone on valentines. It had been his decision to be alone, even after Dick and Tim desperately tried going cupid mode and set him up with every vigilante they knew, he still decided it was best to be alone and enjoy his day off.  

He had all the supplies to not leave the comfort of his apartment for a few days, so he didn’t have to stumble with the valentines craziness. An unlimited stash of snacks and drinks, a muted tv and a candle with a good book, what else could he ask for?

A date on valentines? Hell no. It wasn’t that Jason hated the idea of falling in love and what not. He secretly loved all the lovey dovey bullshit, he just hated valentines day. He didn’t have a good experience with his past valentines and he just thought Valentines day was such a waste of time, you should show your partner unloving love every day not just on Valentines Day.

“Jason have you see…What are you wearing?” Roy Harper, Jason’s roommate, asked while entering the living room fixing his tie and looking him up and down.

“ I’m wearing my day off outfit, plaid pants and a nice gray hoodie, you should try it sometime, James Bond.”  Jason said, chuckling at his joke while looking at the well dressed Roy.

“I think I’ll pass on the stain hoodie and smelly pants offer”  Roy responded while pushing Jason’s feet off the coffee table while searching for his keys.

“Shouldn’t you be annoying your date?” Jason asked while rolling his eyes and sitting up straighter,

“Well I can’t find my keys and I can’t leave without them so you're stuck with me for a while” He mumbled, still focused on finding his keys.

“Well, you could stay and we could spend time together like the good old days” Jason responded while taking a sip of his drink.

“I spend everyday with you Todd, now where did you put my keys?” He asked while turning around to look at him.

“It was worth the shot…Near the door” He mumbled, making Roy walk towards the  door to grab his keys.

“If you want company so badly you should go out and have some fun” He said while looking at himself in the mirror giving himself the last finishing touches.  

“Well, I’m having so much fun right now, why leave?” He said while taking another sip of his drink

“And I want to act like I believe you but I know you too well to believe you're enjoying your time by watching the notebook on mute. I know that last vale..”

“I don’t want to talk about it!” Jason quickly cut him up standing up and heading towards the kitchen. Roy followed him quickly.

“ I just think you shouldn’t bum yourself just for one bad date” he responded trying to not anger Jason.

“I said I didn't want to bring that fiasco up again. So do me a favor and please drop it” Jason responded through muttered teeth throwing the can into the trash can forcefully making it fall since the trash was completely full.

“Okay then I’ll drop it if you do me the favor of taking the trash out since I’m the one that always does it” Roy responded muttering, turning around and walking towards the mirror again.

“I'll gladly do it, but not because you’re telling me, it’s because I want to take the trash out.” Jason quickly pulled out the bag with ease tying a knot walking towards the apartment door.

“Whatever you say Jason,Also don’t take the elevator! I think it’s giving a little bit of problems” Roy said, not taking his eyes off the mirror.

“I’m not taking the stairs on my day off” Jason responded walking out of the door.

“Have it your way then” Roy yelled from the inside of the apartment.

Jason pressed the elevator button patiently waiting for it to go to his floor but his heart quickly stopped when he heard some keys jiggling behind him. He closed his eyes muttering several swear words while hitting the elevator button to hurry the process up. He even contemplated running down the stairs. It was a better idea to take the elevator than with his neighbor.  He lived on the fifth floor, could the elevator not go any faster? and an answer to his prayers came quickly when the elevator ding made Jason enter the empty elevator as quickly as possible.  He pressed the lobby button to begin for it to close. He sighs in relief when the door starts closing painfully slow.

“Wait! Hold the door” A hand stuck in between the elevator making Jason roll his eyes as he saw the person he least wanted to see on this day.

“Oh, Hey Jason! I haven’t seen my lovely neighbor in a while” she said, smiling at him. She walked to the other side of the elevator keeping space between them. Jason stood there quietly not bothering to respond his only intention was to take the trash out, not have a conversation. But something deep down was trying to drag him in, maybe it was her usual perfume that would drive him insane every time he would leave his apartment or maybe the fact that he was finally next to her after a while of not seeing each other. Either option was being put aside because he wasn’t dealing with this, not again.  

Y/n L/n had been Jason Todd and Roy Harper’s Neighbor ever since they decided to move into that crappy apartment complex. Y/n was the only good thing that the apartment had and quite honestly he didn’t mind. Their conversations at the beginning would usually be a hello in the morning or how was your day at night. As months passed by Jason felt himself drawn to the girl like he had never felt like someone before so he asked her out, specifically on a Valentine's Day date. He knew it was a little straight forward but all his nervousness went away when she excitedly squealed and hugged him while muttering what took you so long.  

so Jason Todd made it his mission to make the perfect Valentine's day date in the history of valentine's day. He waited hours to get a reservation to Gotham’s most successful restaurant and after begging for twenty minutes he got a reservation for too. He proceeded to get the biggest bouquet of (f/f) with some chocolates. When Valentines came around he forced Dick to take his place patrolling and after succeeding on forcing Dick to patrol he put on his nicest clothes and headed to the restaurant. He waited for two hours, sending her messages here and there but he didn’t receive any answer. He watched as a couple passed by him giving him pity looks and how the waitress would show up every few minutes asking if he was ready  to order.

Jason hated the fact that he had finally put himself out there just to be stood up on the most romantic day of the year. After that Jason made it his mission to avoid her at all cost which wasn’t that hard given the fact that Jason left his apartment late in the afternoon and came back early in the morning making it impossible to bump into the very busy girl. She didn’t even bother telling him what happened or why she decided to bail him in the first place. Y/n had his phone number, was it that hard to excuse herself from not going?

“Okay then silent treatment it is then” She muttered rolling her eyes while impatiently waiting for the elevator doors to open. Her eyes landed on the numbers changing painfully slow. She could hear Jason shift a little to the side leaving even more space between them.

“Are you going on another valentine's day extravaganza?” Jason asked sarcastically while looking at her. He noticed how she carried a beautiful picnic basket while she was beautiful styled matching the valentine days theme.

“What is that supposed to mean?” She asked angrily, turning around to meet his gaze. She furrowed her eyebrows while glaring at Jason waiting for a response.

“You know what I mean L/n” He muttered turning around to face the elevator buttons again

“Well I have you know, I’m actually going on a galentine's day picnic with my friends” She answered matter-of-factly while turning to avoid his annoying presence.

“I didn't ask,” Jason replied shortly, begging for the elevator to hurry up.

“Well you did insinuate what I was going to do today so that’s almost the same thing” She replied also praying that the elevator would hurry up.

“That’s not the same thing! It’s not even the same situation” He muttered getting closer to the buttons leaving her behind.

“When did you become such a dick?” She was genuinely concerned for Jason.

“You know this elevator is taking too long” Jason started pressing random buttons hoping that the elevator would finally open but he was out of luck when the elevator forcefully stopped while fluttering the light off.

“Fantastic! Now the girls are going to think I stood them up”  Y/n exclaimed sarcastically  to the darkness while Jason threw his head back in annoyance regretting the fact he decided on taking out the trash, if it weren’t for Roy and his annoyance he would’ve been watching the notebook on mute with a good book in his hand. But now there he was, stuck in an elevator with the girl he least wanted to see.  

“It’s not going to be the first time you stood someone up, don’t feel bad” He muttered while sliding against the elevator wall to sit down on the cool floor.

“You know, if you want to tell me something you can’t tell me directly instead of saying rude remarks” She muttered while following his actions and resting against the floor. Y/n moved, stretching her legs a little bit bumping with Jason’s but none of them decided to move.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get to go on that picnic of your’s we won’t be long here” He aid while coughing trying to hide his nervousness. He thanked that the elevator was still dark and they couldn’t see their expressions because he didn’t want her to see his blushing face.

“Roy told me he got stuck last week in the elevator and stayed like four hours. It’s Valentine's Day. I doubt they’ll come here to fix the elevator now.” She huffed in annoyance throwing her head back hitting it several times with the metal wall behind her.

“You still talk to Roy?” He asked in shock, feeling both surprised and betrayed by his friend's actions.

“Of course I still talk to Roy! He’s my friend, I would still talk to you if it weren't for the fact that you avoid me all the time” She exclaimed while Jason gasped while pressing his hand on his chest sarcastically.

“If you hadn’t stood me up in the first place maybe I wouldn’t have decided on avoiding you. Hell maybe instead of going on that dumb picnic you could’ve been going on a date with me” Jason exclaimed loudly. When he finally comprehended the words that left his mouth he stayed quiet regretting even thinking about saying that bullshit.

“Is that what this is about? Jason I-” Y/n tried to break out the silence but Jason quickly cut her off.

“I really don’t want to talk about it, Y/n. Just imagine I didn’t say a word. It was a year ago let's just act like nothing happen like we’ve been doing the pat year”

“I can’t. I tried saying I was sorry but you were avoiding me. Something at work came up at the last minute. I sometimes can’t control what happens in my job and how long I have to stay. I swear I didn’t have my phone on me, if I did I would’ve messaged you quickly. I swear” She said quickly into the darkness. Jason hummed to her response not having the energy to say anything, he didn’t know what to do, that was for sure. He had gone through so much and he decided to open up and give her a chance just for her to leave him hanging. Part of him wanted to break the elevator door open and leave, but a bigger part of him wanted to stay and see what the night brought to the two neighbors.

“You know what, let me make it up to” She exclaimed, moving her legs away from Jason. He could feel her moving all around the floor looking for something.

“How are you going to make it up for me? it’s not like we could do much in this tiny elevator” He mumbles pushing his legs up towards his chest leaving more space for her to move.

“Where’s your creativity Todd? Look” She said while showing out a lighting a lighter in front of his face

“You want to smoke in an elevator?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. Y/n chuckled while shaking her head.

“Actually, I have the lighter for this” She quickly pulled out two candles from her basket, settling them in between her and Jason. She lights them up, lighting up the elevator with a warm sunset tone. She smiled softly at the grumpy Jason that was looking at her with a concerned look on his face.

“Isn’t this a fire hazard?” Jason asked looking down at the candles, Y/n playfully rolled her eyes while taking two plates and placing them in front of the pair. She quickly settles a beautifully folded napkin with utensils on top of the plates while Jason stares at them in confusion.

“I told you I was going to make it up for you. It may not be a reservation at Gotham’s best restaurant but a candlelit dinner with flowers” She said while placing the flowers in a vase in between the candles. Jason smiles softly, taking in the view before him.

“What's on the menu this fine evening? Because I for one am starving” Jason said sitting in a more comfortable position getting closer to her.

“Well kind sir, we have my famous pasta accompanied with the best wine and bread” She responded while playing along and serving the food on their plate. Jason watched as she delicately placed the pasta on the plates not spilling anything on their surroundings. She put the bowl of food where it originally sat and opened the wine bottle pouring two cups for them.

“Oh how I missed your pasta” Jason said while taking a bite of his food.

“Well, you can come over anytime to eat some” She responded, also taking a bite of her.

“I’ll take you up on that offer”

Both of them ate in silence occasionally slipping out a joke or two. Both of them would sneak glances at each other when the other one wasn’t looking. When the both finished eating they held onto their wine glasses getting as close as possible making their shoulders bump into each other. The light coming out of the candles hitting them enhances their features. Jason smiled, taking in how beautiful she looked and how much he wasn’t regretting not taking out the trash. Maybe he would do it more often if it came with this outcome.

“A toast to us” Y/n, exclaimed raising her wine glass

“to us” Jason said while clicking their glasses together.

“I’ve never seen you smile this much” Y/n replied, settling her cup down.

“Well, You know what I'm missing to make this the best date ever?” Jason asked while leaning a little bit closer to her.

“And what would that be?” She said leaning closer to him, making their breaths one.

“Dessert” He locked their lips together resting his hands on her cheeks. Y/n slowly followed his pace feeling herself melt on his touch. After a few minutes. Jason Y/n swiftly got on his lap. They were so into the kiss they didn’t notice the dinging sound and a shocked Roy Harper standing behind the elevator.

“I guess you didn’t take out the trash” Roy said while clearing his throat. Both of them jumped away from each other and Y/n quickly started cleaning her things up while Jason helped her.

“Hey Roy” She replied embarrassed while standing up with her basket trying to hide her red face with her messy hair.

“I’m sorry to interrupt. Hope you kids had fun” Roy chuckled while winking at Y/n.

“Shut up, Roy.” Jason responded, picking up Y/n’s phone. He slowly picks it up but by the sudden movement he reads the messaged plaster on the phone.

Dick Grayson

are we still on for tonight? I’ve been waiting on the rooftop for hours. Call me when you get the chance.

“Thank you Jay! I had fun tonight” She said while picking up her phone and leaving the elevator with a confused Jason Todd and a giggly Roy Harper.

…

[MASTERLIST]

request are open, xoxo

[jaebeomsbitch]

Romulus's Sea of Turmoil (R.R.)

Summary: Leading you through the path of Roman's trauma. Roman learning to accept your help and love even though he's been conditioned to do the opposite. Roman doesn't fuck it :).

Paring: Roman Roy X Genderless! Reader

Warnings: childhood abuse, physical abuse, psychological abuse, self harm, emotional hurt, men crying, mentions of injuries, crying, father's death, funeral.

AN: probably the heaviest piece of work I've ever written. I just needed a piece where Roman is comforted like he deserved. Not edited, I wrote this at 1 AM.

Proceed with heavy caution

Roman was used to his father yelling at him. Used to the cadence in his voice when he tells him to shut up, that he was doing something important. He eventually loses Kendall, who goes off to join his father. Silently taking notes after being asked by his father. Roman grows accustomed to playing with Shiv, running through the halls, gleeful laughs following. 

Until one day he’s invited into the room, his father deciding he’s old enough to have a taste of his business. He doesn’t know when the hatred begins. Was his father’s hate always there, looming over him only becoming apparent when the sun had finally filtered through?

The beatings begin, bruised lips and swollen eyes. Kendall silently watches as Shiv has her face buried in the sleeve of his jacket. Her tears blotted against the fabric. His father grunting, “The world is tough, you have to learn from early on how difficult life is.” His eyes with a gleam he’s never seen before. At first he begs, like a child, pleading his father to take it easy on him; this only makes him angrier. 

Roman used to know why he was struck. Usually to teach him a lesson, like after spilling ice cream in his father’s new expensive car. Another after fighting with Kendall over steak night. Eventually the beatings turn frequent, explanations and lessons lost. Roman tries to justify it, tries to fit explanations into his little head. His father was annoyed by the way he swung his feet, mad that he whispered something to Kendall, angry as he was playing with a bottle when his boredom took over. He spends nights crying silently, mumbling justifications, snot noses frequent as he rubs his face into his pillow. 

One day his father discovers him in a cage, eating ‘dog food’ as his siblings surround him. He shakes in fear seeing his father. The feeling of being trapped overwhelmed him. His father sends him to military school to ‘toughen’ him up just like his uncle did. How could he be so weak? To be laughed at by the little girl, paraded around by his older brother? “There was something wrong with that boy and some discipline would fix him,” his father would say. 

He learns the routine, accepts his situation until he is released. He comes back home, Kendall now a foot taller, Shivy up to his chest. He’s a ‘military’ man now, shoulder’s squared out, stance stoic as his father inspects him. He’d learned to hide his emotion after hours of grueling training. He learns to numb the pain in his hands and knees from crawling on the floor. How ironic that his father sent him away for crawling only to spend hours learning the fastest way to crawl across the floor.

Kendall started as an intern at Royco, then moved to management training. He begins to look more like a man, an unhinged gleam in his eye that is new to Roman. Roman is sent away again to the LA offices to “learn” about the business. It was more like adult baby sitting, they set him up in an office flooding him with paperwork he doesn’t really understand. This is better though, he doesn’t have to live under the scrutiny of his father, only ever reporting back with phone calls. 

The few times he sees his father he once again makes mistakes. His witty remark passing his lips before his mind catches up as he’s struck in the face. He remembers this, remembers why he hates the walls of this house. Remembers why he was grateful for the distance. Nonetheless he mumbles excuses to himself. You’re an idiot, you’re annoying, your father hates you. 

He moves back to New York, his father gets sick and then better. Roman continues to berate himself, whispering insults. Relishing in self inflicted wounds. He learns to live with the pain, learns to seek the words from his father’s mouth. Until he meets you, you tell him his words are too harsh. You don’t like the way he treats himself but he tells you to fuck off. 

It isn’t until his father is gone that he begins to question himself. He had put himself through years of turmoil for his father, lived in the shadows of his older brother to not attract attention. Was it all worth it? Was it ever worth it? Was it worth starving? Did he even love his father? He asks Tom if he told Logan he loved him. Tom, confused, doesn't know how to respond. Did he truly love his father? His guilt begins to eat away at him. The words would’ve slipped out if they were real. If somewhere deep in the cavity of his chest he felt for his father a shred of love he would’ve uttered those three words. He begins berating himself in his father's absence, unused to the void of pain he’s accustomed to. 

He’s lost. He pushes you away, pushes away the one person who tries to help. He doesn’t deserve you, he’s a piece of shit. He practically killed his father with that voicemail. The memories replaying in his head. He punches himself in the thigh wanting to feel the familiarity, closing his eyes and pretending his father once again looms over him. You stop him once you hear the noise, you’d heard him some nights but you couldn’t bear the thought of him hurting himself once again. 

He shoves you out of the room yelling obscenities at you in a joking manner. “It’s almost like you caught me with my dick in my hand. You’d love it wouldn’t you?” he laughs, slamming the door. He tries to hold it in, tries to bury the emotion but you hear his sobs through the walls. You spend countless nights on his couch, just waiting for him to be ready. For him to want just a shred of help. It isn’t until the day before the funeral that he leaves the door unlocked. 

Perhaps his guilt for letting you sleep on the couch when he knew you had back problems. He tried, tried to keep you at an arm's distance because anyone who crossed his path was destined to a horrible fate. They were tied to a monster, unable to escape. So he gives you the out, leaves his door unlocked as a last ditch effort to let you leave him but you don’t. You approach the bed as you hear his sniffles. You climb into the sheets, cradling him into your chest as he lets the sobs rip through the room. You whisper comforting words until his cries die down. 

He didn’t deserve you. Didn’t deserve this, he was as much a killer as his brother was. He never deserved your patience, your worried glances, or your reassuring touches. He’s not allowed to have a happily ever after because he is broken. Broken beyond repair, just a pile of tiny shards on the ground. 

He stands on the podium, hundreds of eyes on him. He can’t do this, he can’t be like his father, can’t even fathom his cold body in that casket. He calls for help, motioning with his hands as you hear the beginning of those familiar sniffles. You reach around Kendall, whispering something into his ear that they can’t hear. He shakes his head at his siblings, glancing over at you worriedly. You give him a kiss on the temple before patting his chest. He delivers his speech, Roman the Showman lighting up the sky. The church claps at his ridiculous speech.

Mencken gives him a knowing smile, cracking a rude remark about your assistance. Roman holds it in, he grips onto your hand to tether him to the ground. Lets you do most of the thanking, until he can finally breathe again. He’s shaking in the car, withered away to that scared little boy he once was. You hold him again, brushing the tears from his face as the wet patches grow on your coat. He needs pain, he wants it, he craves it. He begs you to hit him, trying to provoke a reaction from you. Please bring him back down to earth, his soul felt like it was floating away from his body. You hold his eyes open squeezing eye drops into his red streaked eyes as you peck him on the forehead. 

You remind him that he’s not allowed to inflict pain and although it’s difficult you’re there. You’ll stage a break up to justify his fallen tears if you have to. He no longer has to bear the crushing pain alone. He nods, following you out of the car. He’s still unable to step in the mausoleum. Afraid he’ll be trapped with his father’s vengeful spirit. You crack jokes with Shiv, breaking to place a kiss on the top of his hand that’s intertwined with yours. In that moment Kendall and Shiv have never felt more alone.

Just like Logan wanted, he looms over the children like a deity. Watching their every move scrutinizing their stupid business decisions. Roman leads you around the room, his shoulders feeling a little lighter as you whisper a joke in his ear. Then he remembers, his dad is dead. Forever trapped in a discount pet supply box. You remind him that it’s okay that he’s gone, he no longer has to lose teeth, no longer has to sit on the counter as you patch his face up and hand him an ice pack. You watch as he flirts with Mencken, you weren’t happy about it but you knew the crowd ATN attracted. 

You don’t let him watch the protestors, you shove him into the car. You lead him by the elbow up to his penthouse as he jokes about how hot it is to see you pull him around like a rag doll. He laughs at his own joke about how riled up you are at his father’s death as you guide him to his bedroom.

He lets you undress him and tuck him into the sheets. His jokes die down as he lays in your arms, tears slipping through his closed eyes as his tiredness catches up to him. He falls asleep hearing your voice praise his courage, praise him for letting you take care of him, and more importantly how proud of him you are. He’d never heard that before, at least not genuinely. Only used to hearing it after he’d been whored out to another potential business partner.

He is nowhere near healing but just for now you are enough.

[drainbangle]

wait omg i’m curious about your unpopular thoughts about temenos writing wise.. i love when people discuss octopath writing it’s really enriching to see what we all have to say about certain story elements. plus you’re like a temenos representative to me. your thoughts about temenos make me go “so true!”

Aw, thank you! It took a while for me to decide on what to write here, since honestly I could go on for… frankly any aspect of this guy, especially in regards to treatment in fanon. But for now, I'll focus on my thoughts regarding how people treat tragedy in Temenos' story— namely, Crick's death— and why I personally dislike it as a writing decision and why I disagree with the idea that it is necessary.

Note: Goes without saying, but this is my personal opinion. If you believe otherwise, then that's all good. I'm not writing this to say that any one person is wrong, just to talk about an issue I have with the game's writing itself.

To start, I'll say that my main reason for disliking Crick's death in SH route is a matter of practicality. Killing him off causes Temenos to lose the main person that he had a fantastic relationship and banter with, and in my opinion, Temenos works best when he's bouncing off another person; not unlike most under the Sherlock-archetype.

Also, genuinely? It works wonders to keep Crick alive, if just because it provides a fantastic avenue to explore Temenos' institutional trauma. Having a character that's lived a different experience but within the same harmful institution opens up ways to explore the scope of its harm. And yes, this is for Crick specifically; not Ort, not the travelers, but Crick.

I think it really adds something that Temenos was raised by the church while Crick converted as a teenager during a really difficult time in his life. These two are good for each other. Crick sure as hell makes it a lot easier to write Temenos in fic.

(If you have a different experience, again, that's cool. I'm glad for you. I, however, will never fail to take the easy way out.)

(This is a lie, I'm over here making up fantasy church law for fic stuff but that's not related to this answer.)

I won't pretend that disliking Crick's death is an unpopular opinion. I mean, "Stormhail Fix-it" is an entire genre of fic on the OT2 Ao3 tag. What I do feel tends to go unaddressed though, is the fact that the idea that Crick's death is canon, therefore it is necessary, therefore it is the best decision; an idea that I wholeheartedly disagree with.

Within the text itself, Crick is killed off in order to give Temenos a personal reason to pursue Kaldena, thus putting him at odds with Kaldena's motivations being driven by her ideology and worldview that, "because humans committed the massacre, it was the gods' mistake to put us here". I also won't pretend that Kaldena's writing here isn't fucking awful, because Crick's death is also a device to make the player want Kaldena defeated even though she is just as much as a victim of the church; and that's to say nothing of her portrayal as an indigenous and dark-skinned woman.

These decisions are ones I disagree with. Killing Crick off was unnecessary to give Temenos reason to pursue the culprit, because Temenos already had someone close to him killed; and that's Pontiff Jörg. He raised Temenos from infancy, but due to the lack of focus on him outside of banter conversations, it's never relevant to his motivations outside of the desire for truth because a crime was committed. 

We also didn't need to kill Crick off to show that the church was a terrible institution, because Roi already went missing in action. The Sacred Guard is the main body of law within Eastern Solistia, it's not unreasonable to think that the reason why Temenos dislikes them is because they clearly didn't do shit to investigate his disappearance.

However, one thing I really don't agree with is the idea that Crick's death is necessary because Temenos' story is a tragedy. And if you asked me why, I'd ask this in turn: why is death the only form of tragedy? Furthermore, why must a tragedy contain only tragic events? That in mind, what gives anything value in a tragedy, then?

Pretend we cannot completely rewrite Temenos' story. Even then, changing Crick's death to a permanent injury, a coma, or whatever is still a tragic event; and that's nothing to say of living with the consequences. Isn't losing your faith a tragedy? Isn't losing something you worked for years to do a tragedy?

Similarly, I'd still argue that it's more valuable to make Stormhail a near-death experience because not only does it show Temenos succeeding in making someone question the church but also the terror that is feeling like you're doomed to repeat tragedy. Even if you really aren't, it's hard to dismiss that feeling; especially when it has to do with being victimized by institutions.

And before someone says, "but bad things happen to good people in real life", I'm not treating these characters as living, breathing people who are subject to things like gravity, hunger, and exhaustion. I'm treating them as choices, and choices made that I disagree with. 

It's why I make different choices. I choose to make Crick have to deal with chronic pain onwards. I choose to make Temenos realize change is still possible. I choose to let them both leave Stormhail alive. Are these better choices? I don't know. But I'll never stop questioning the ones made by the writers regardless; much less stop disagreeing with them.

So, in summary: I dislike Crick's death. I dislike Temenos having to spend the rest of the story without someone he can talk to so easily because Crick's absence weakens a lot of his scenes in Temenos 4. But more than that, I dislike the idea that tragedy is necessary on top of the idea that it is superior. Tragedy's good, I adore the genre; but written in mindful doses and all that.

[disasterbijamietartt]

Since I’m on a roll, here a few random Roy x Jamie (x Keeley, and a bit Colin) scenes I’d love to see on the show but that with 99% certainty won’t happen lol.

If you write fanfic, feel free to take my ideas, since I won’t write them.

#1: During a break in their morning training, Jamie vents about how Dani is worshipping Zava and says something along the lines of “This is pissing me off so much. Like, I had the biggest crush on you but I never kissed the ground you walked on! Except for that one time when I was twelve, and helped out as a ball boy when Chelsea was playing Man City and …”

Roy, taking some time to process. “Wait? The Fuck? You had a crush on me?”

And Jamie answers quite chill. “Are you going senil? I told you I had a poster of you on my wall as a kid.”

*gay panic sets in* *throws something into Jamie’s face*

“What the fuck, what is wrong with you?”

Roy fumbles. “Sorry, I just … don’t know why … I think I got startled?”

“YOU got startled? Ask me about it.” Shakes head. “You know, you really should figure out the why since … I’m not scared of you or anything. I know you would never actually … kill me. But it just is … triggering when you do stuff like that.”

The horrific realisation setting in. “Oh … OH.”

“You should try therapy. It helped me a lot being more … comfortable being me. And not … the boy me dad wanted.”

#2: This won’t happen but what if Roy is like “you need to do something for your core” and drags him to his yoga group and realises his mistake too late, when he scrambles to explain why he knows Jamie (”We, er, go to the same gym. And I thought you’d maybe want to meet him.”).

Then one of the ladies tells Jamie, how much Roy loved him in “Lust conquers all” and the camera is on Jamie’s face while he is trying not to burst into laughter, but then another one asks him why he went on the show and he gets all somber talking about his dad (something about his live being absolut shit – “The whole year had been shit. My girlfriend dumped me, my coach dumped me and all I had in ManCity was my piece of shit dad. I was at my lowest lows, in a very dark place mental health wise and just needed to get out”) – Roy being touched by Jamie’s openness and vulnerability – and then the ladies decide to go to the G-A-Y to cheer him up and while they are being there Jamie heads to the bathroom and sees Colin and Michael. But he doesn’t approach them, so that it doesn’t get awkward for Colin, does never mention this to Roy or anyone, until after Colin’s coming out, when he tells him how proud he is and accidentally slips. Something like “I’m sorry it didn’t work out with Michael and you. You were cute together.”

“But you never met him.”

And he has to come up with some explanation (he can’t say he was there with Roy’s yoga besties, since the yoga besties are Roy’s big secret)

And when Colin wonders why he kept it a secret: “You never told me so I thought it was better to give you the time you needed, instead of forcing you.”

#3

I have a need for a Karaoke scene where someone, Jamie would be awesome – everyone expects him to be shit but he slays it –, sings “Into The Unknown” as a call back to the first season having Rebecca sing “Let it go”. (Or “Show Yourself”, which is more of a queer coming out anthem, but probably not the kind of song Jamie would chose to sing at Karaoke)

And it would also fit in a way, since Jamie kind of is a foil to Rebecca. Like they were both residential assholes in the first season because of the abuse they suffered and both made a heel-face-turn due Ted’s and Keeley’s influence.

#4

Okay, so onto one of my Roy x Jamie x Keeley scenarios!

Like many suggested, Jamie tries to help fixing Roy’s and Keeley’s relationship.

After Roy not wanting his comfort, he checks in on Keeley and offers his help. Like the good friend he is, he wants to make the two people that mean the most to him, happy.

He essentially parent traps them by inviting them to meet him at his childhood home while they’re in ManCity, so that Roy and Keeley have a opportunity to talk about their feelings. While they’re talking in his old bedroom, he anxiously waits in the living room.

Roy and Keeley talk about their break up, the actual reasons and Keeley, who is still so torn between Roy and Jamie, reluctantly asks Roy, whether they should try to get back together.

And then Roy fesses up and tells her that he loves her, that he wants her back, but that he has just figured out and accepted the fact that he is in love with Jamie and it would feel dishonest to just ignore that and go back to how things used to be. Since he is not the person he used to be and Jamie’s the reason he changed. And that is why Roy looks so vulnerable and emotional in that scene, almost as if he has cried?

(Bonus - and now I’m heading into “no way this happens, but lol” – what if at some earlier point Jamie and Roy hooked up for whatever reason, like accidentally getting high eating space cake in an Amsterdam coffee shop? Something where they can go the next morning, “OMG how embarrassing, how could this happen, hahahaha, let’s never talk about this ever again”, and it is basically “I had sex with Jamie” but it’s Roy who says it?

And Keeley being like “That is not a funny joke” and him being “It is not a joke.” and then having the longest monologue in his live about how he fell in love with Jamie)

And Keeley, who is always supportive, is totally accepting and encourages him to tell Jamie. So he calls him and Jamie comes in and Keeley tells him, that they decided not to get back together and that Roy has something to tell him. Then she leaves.

They sit on the bed.

Roy points to the poster of him on the wall, that has been fixed with scotch tape. “You weren’t joking. But what happened to it?”

“My dad tore it down. Didn’t like that I had it. Wrong team, you see.”

“Oh.”

Jamie clears his throat. “Sorry it didn’t work out with Keeley. But maybe at a later time! What is it you want to tell me?”

But Roy panics and doesn’t tell him, instead goes on to thank him for the effort and tells him, that Jamie is his best friend.

Which is something that touches Jamie, because he always wanted to be Roy’s best friend. They hug, but Roy can’t hide that he is disappointed in himself, for not being brave.

Roy later texts Keeley, that he couldn’t do it, since he was too scared Jamie could turn him down, and now Keeley is the one trying to set Jamie and Roy up, constantly cheering him on, while Roy thinks, that maybe the best thing would be to set Keeley and Jamie up, since Jamie is the boyfriend she actually deserves, hilarity ensues for an episode or two, until after Colin’s coming out, when Roy finally is brave enough to tell Jamie and they start dating.

(I still have to figure out, how exactly they would approach Keeley to become a part of the polycule, but that definitely happens. Maybe Rebecca mentions something to Roy, after Roy and Jamie eventually come out to the team as a couple, and then Jamie and Roy ask Keeley out on a date?)

[artificialqueens]

Daddy's Boy, Chapter 6.5 (Biadore) - Imafuckinglibra

Ummmm. Hi. I don’t really know if anyone on here cares or if I’m shouting into a void. Obviously I’ve been gone a minute. I’m making this one 6.5 bc technically it’s supposed to be 7 but I don’t know if I’m publishing it yet or If it’s worth publishing it I should say. As an apology though I’m including a bonus at the end for whoever wants it. If there’s mistakes I’m sorry if there’s a part 7 it’ll be fixed. 

This is just pure smut btw enjoy.

“Fashion is like eating, you shouldn’t stick to the same menu.” Kenzo Takada. If you we take his words to actually mean what they literally say, you could say he’s implying we should change our choices. Kind of like…"

“Who the fuck wrote this shit?” Roy grumbled out loud, trying to find the name of the culprit on the loosely stapled pages in front of him. 

He tossed his glasses off onto the bed and tried rubbing the frustration out of his weary eyes with his thumb & index finger.

‘I’m too old for this’ He thought. ‘Go be a costume designer, no I want to TEACH. Be a LEADER.‘ sigh “Yeah right.” 

He had to come to realization we all do that - inevitably - when we’re alone for too long we kind of go, batshit. You start thinking about your life choices and just where oh where did you go wrong. And man did he feel alone.

His apartment, although my no means small especially on a teacher salary, suddenly felt massive. Without his near constant companion running around in baggy jeans, ill fitting hoodies or singing about every day activities the apartment felt like he did. Vast & vacant. Tad dramatic perhaps.

The living room once just books, dog beds and a TV was now littered with photographs, guitar picks, knick knacks so many empty bottles of various sodas or beer. 

The bathroom once so pristine now riddled with long hair everywhere, toothpaste splatter against the mirror, bottles of all sorts of hair and face lotions.

Food smeared and discarded left and right in the kitchen area, boxes and boxes of old take out. Empty bags of chips or half eaten cookies just scattered about without a care in the world. 

Not to mention the bedroom. 

“Just look at how he left these pillows!” He thought. 

Well, to be honest none of it was that bad. Not even close. Everything was immaculately clean. It just been so long since he’d seen Danny he had to start making things up to be mad at him at. If he didn’t he’d start to think of the good and then he’d just miss him.

In true college student fashion the punk rocker had taken the opportunity summer vacation presents to travel with his friends. Him and his roommates packed their bags into Brian’s busted little car and decided to travel the US and hit at least one new bar every night. It may have only been 12 weeks but god it felt like 5 years. 

Some times they’d just stay in one place, sobering up in some dodgy hotel before they head to the next place. Which Roy absolutely despised, causing many a fight between the two. At least 3 times. At least. 

However. Some times, most times, fine. Pretty much every city to be honest, Danny and Brian would perform some of their music and they’d have gas, food and hotel money the next day. Which Roy had to admit, made him proud. 

The fact that he could take responsibility and provide for himself like this with his craft was absolutely endearing. Roy envied him for it once in a while. 

Granted. He didn’t do it all himself, he had 4 others with him. Jason included, the only one with a head on his shoulders who’d pre planned every last detail of their trip before they left. 

Summer comes and goes every year though and so does financial independence and adolescent freedom. Danny and his friends had to finally return to school, and finally back to Roy. Not before making a stop at his mom’s house first though. 

He’d been in Azusa for 2 weeks at this point, getting his school work in order, doing laundry, buying school supplies, being babied by his mother and bullied by his brothers as 20 somethings do. 

“God I miss him though.” Roy said to Dede who’d been strolling through the empty hallway. Realizing the essay from hell was finally over and done with. 

‘D!!’ he scribbled on it. ‘You at least managed to get your own name right, now try getting other people’s name right! Baloney!’

VRRRR VRRRR

His phone vibrated on the bedside table next to him. He carefully dropped the stack of papers  onto the portable work bench he kept close by and picked up his phone. 

Incoming Call

Danny 

Danny put the heart next to his own name, don’t question it. 

“Hey, you headin…” Roy asked before he realized what he was looking at and grabbed his bottom lip with his hand to keep from laughing. 

“Shhh.” Danny gestured softly with his index finger over his lips, whispering the command. “Quiet.” 

Danny had propped his phone against some shampoo bottles and a tub of conditioner at the bottom of his mother’s shower. The front camera pointed directly at center stage just for Roy.

His head was tilted in the corner of the tiled shower, his body contorted to fit into the small cubicle. Bent long legs either side of his chest to give his partner the best possible view of the skinny middle finger gliding slowly in and around both entrances. 

His mouth agape in ecstasy at the hot water spraying down from the shower head against the wall onto his growth and down his inner thighs. 

“Naughty boy.” Roy whispered to himself with a devilish grin. He knew Danny only ever teased or fingered himself in both holes when he was desperate. Something which he didn’t frequently do up until right before he left. During finals when he was too stressed to see each other. 

“It must’ve been a minute since he’s been able to jerk off.” He thought but hey can’t blame him. He might have been a liiiitle pent up too. 

Roy picked up on the hint and put the phone down on the bed against his headboard so Danny could enjoy his own show. 

Sitting back on his ankles Roy undid his shorts zipper and pulled his semi erect cock out. Slowly tugging at it to match Danny’s rhythm. Eager to catch up with him but not eager enough to ruin the moment too fast. 

Driving his young lover wild with his fist steadily opening and closing, squeezing the pre cum out of the tip. The same pre cum Danny spent hours teasing him with. 

He reached for the drawer or toys they’d accumulated in their time together and pulled out a fleshlight Danny bought him before he left. 

“No.” Danny mouthed shaking his head. “Pillow” 

“Pillow?” Roy whispered. 

“I want to see.” He gestured back with one now freed hand. 

Roy realized what he meant and happily obliged.

With one hand still around his shaft and the other gripping under him he slowly lowered himself as he would if Danny had been there rather than his hand. 

“Like that.” Danny smiled biting his lip. Watching carefully for when Roy’s cock would slide into his palm again. Sliding 2 fingers into his asshole at the same time. 

He’d grown accustomed to pretending Roy was the one pleasuring him rather than himself, especially when they played together like this. 

He still felt the same butterflies in his stomach he had the very first time they slept together, the same giddy high from watching Roy’s head twitch at every gentle touch. The veins wrapping around his thick tan cock. 

‘Oh fuck he’s gorgeous.’ He thought, watching his body tense and relax with every thrust. His skin becoming shiny with sweat as he picked up his pace, probably without realizing. 

Or maybe Danny was the one who picked up his pace first, who knows. He couldn’t tell anymore. All he wanted was Roy to fuck him hard right now, even if it was just pretend. 

“Dan!” His mom yelled snapping them to reality. 

“Yeah?” Danny yelled frowning at Roy to hush. His fingers slowing down significantly but not stopping. As if he’s been caught in the act before but knew he could get away with it. 

“We’re heading to dinner soon, when you gonna be done?” 

“Like 10 more minutes I’m just washing my hair.” He lied winking at his audience. 

“Okay Hun, we’ll wait for you.”

“AirPods.” Roy whispered quickly gesturing with his hands while they were still unoccupied. 

“But they’ll get wet?”

“I’ll buy you new ones.” Roy rolled his eyes. Danny had dropped these AirPods in everything from salsa, mountain dew to even the mud at the dog park but this was one step too far apparently. Really?

Without missing a beat Danny simply reached his long legs over to his pants that had the case still inside. He put just one in, being careful to keep his head out of the splash zone. Reassuming his position when he was ready with the water perfectly hitting its target again. 

“Ready?” Roy growled into his ear.

“Yeah…” Danny melted into his voice. Thinking how close he could get to cumming right then and there just at hearing his rasp again. 

“I can’t. Wait. To. Fuck….ugh, you.” Roy grunted emphasizing each word with a thrust into his palm. Watching as Danny nodded lost in his own desires, his fingers pounding into himself with him. Making his top lip quiver each time, distorting his face into a silent cry as he tried to control himself. 

A year ago he’d be too embarrassed to act like this over a video call but dating someone long distance like this changes a person. Especially when that person begs so nicely for it each time. 

“I know you want both holes filled, don’t you. I need to fuck you, I need to taste your cum running down my chin again.” He continued.

Danny whimpered a near silent “uh huh” at him drifting his eyes closed as his hands took over with a mind of their own. His left hand finding the same path as his right. A single lanky finger curling into himself, enough for now to apply just the perfect pressure for release.

“Fuck you’re gonna cum right, uhng…now.” Roy panted thrusting himself harder and harder despite his legs burning. His breath ragged. “Right now, aren’t you. Oh fuck.”

“Uh…huh.” Danny nodded again to the best of his ability as his hips bucked, his fingers and toes all curling in as his orgasm overtook him.

Roy watched him writhing around, the sight pushing him so close to the edge he didn’t think he could come back from it. But he didn’t want to look away yet, he didn’t want this moment to end so soon. 

Watching Danny melt into the floor as his hips instinctively kept riding his own fingers were too delectable to let go just yet. His bottom lip clenched tight between perfect teeth as he fought back from making a sound. His chest puffed high as he fought for air. 

“Hngh I can’t wait, fuck, to fill you with cum. Watch it drip out of your tight little ass”. He kept teasing. Knowing Danny hadn’t had enough yet, he could see it in the brief flash when their eyes finally met again. 

Rhythm be dammed at this point he was uncontrollably humping his pillow chasing his own orgasmic high as he tried leading Danny to a second.  Wether ready or not he couldn’t escape it now. “C’mon baby, I know you got one more. Keep that hand there.” 

Danny took a deep gulp for air and moved his left hand towards his growth instead, jerking off furiously in unison with his hips’ gyrating. 

“I…hm huh.” He squeaked softly. The coil inside his body near snapping again despite never going down. 

“Aaah!! Fucking…Dan. Shit.” Roy cried, looking down at his cock pulsing violently. Cum shooting out from his hand onto the sheets beneath him. Splattering across the pillow, the bench next to him and nearly on his phone. 

He kept his chin pressed against his own chest trying to catch his breath, his eyes shut in ecstasy as he heard a faint squeak between the shower splashes coming from his phone. 

His eyes fighting open as he watched Danny completely drop into a mess with his legs uncontrollably shaking through his second orgasm. His face scrunched up, bright red and dripping in probably sweat if the water hadn’t gotten to it yet. 

“Holy shit.” He sighed wiping his hair out of his face. “Fuck baby you made me cum a gallon.” 

Danny softly chuckled under his breath as he straightened his legs up and out against the tiles. Ass still on the floor as he felt the water washing away his sins. “Shhh.” He joked again.

“See. What am I supposed to do with this?” Roy teased pretending to be mad as he turned the camera to give him a view. 

Danny took his phone and started typing quickly. 

You better save some for me then when I get back. You promised to fill me up remember.

“Yeah I remember.” Roy laughed. “Gonna make up for all the times you blue balled me this summer.”

Danny’s face went flat when he read it. Looking into the camera with fake distain. 

Nevermind. I’ll just find some other professor to do it, fuck my way to an A this semester. 

“Dirty bitch…” Roy growled. “We’ll talk about it later, go wash your hair and enjoy dinner. I have papers to grade.” 

[Admin Note:

Continue scrolling for a mildly pornographic illustration.

If you are at work or in church or your parents are looking at your phone over your shoulder...

...then consider yourself warned.

Coming in 10...

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1!]

[biteinsane]

Hope you like FMA spoilers cause you getting them cause I have a slight rant that people dont talk about when they state FMA and this post seems to hit a point that does not get said.

TLDR: its about the scarifies you are willing to take to be "normal" again. You know, a normal plot point

One of the first animes people go to for this statement is FMA and yes you 100% should cause look Ed needs a prosthetic, he needs two. He needs them for his work. This world is filled with a type of magic. A science. Its one the main things about this whole story, the alchemy, EQUAL EXCHANGE and he fucked up so him and his brother suffered for it.

Getting their bodies back to how they use to be is one of the main goals of FMA, they want to be "normal" again but they can't because it is forbidden. So Ed joins the military to get access to books and papers that being a citizen would not give him access to.

This information is so forbidden, its written in code and I dont mean zodiac code, I mean recipes. Its made to look like a normal recipe just hidden in the back of a closet library by the creator mind you, so no one can use the information.

Why is it forbidden? Human Sacrifices. The Brothers find out the only way to get their bodies back is to make the Philosophers Stone with human sacrifices.

(but I'm not gonna go more on that we are skipping ahead, I can do a whole essay on this if I tried)

Because of plot reasons, Roy Mustang is thrown into this mix and forced to make similar scarifies that the elrics made and loses his eyesight. (I could go into a whole thing about how he was only forced because he didn't do when they thought he would.)

In the end, Ed and Al would not take the stone. Once they learned the power, they couldn't bare the thought that people had to die for them to have their bodies back, these are children who were living years like this to the point that Al wasn't so sure if he was even who he thought he was. They dont want others to hurt because of their mistakes.

But Mustang, He's older, he saw death first hand. Had a hand in it even, many times would not hesitate. Murdered Lust with so much hatred and almost got to Envy with that same fury. He pushed his way to the top of the military. He lived in slums, he knew what people did when they have the power to hurt others

And when he was given the choice to gain his sight back, he took it.

Just because there is a magic that could fix everything does not mean its right. Does not mean it should. Everything is an exchange.

Be creative if you are so worried about being out of "setting" like fucking hell, this is why people decorate their stuff, you're just boring.

I dont wake up every morning wishing I had magic so I can see without glasses, I want magic so I can teleport. Priorities!

This really pissed me off in twitter recently. Disabled people belong in every type of setting. If we aren't there, your worldbuilding sucks.

[residentarcher]

tag dump all mine got deleted

[incorrectbatfam]

What version of each batfam character is your favorite? Like, what comic series or cartoon or movie best represents the characters in your opinion?

Dick: I have hefty criticisms of Tom Taylor, which can come another day, but after all the previous writers that Nightwing has been churned through, Tom Taylor's iteration makes a lot of the necessary repairs to Dick's character. Taylor brings us back to the basics and removes Dick from Batman and past canon baggage, including that godawful Ric Grayson and Talon stuff. At the same time, we're not starting over, as you can see throughout this run, there are nods toward classic Nightwing comics like The Long Halloween and Zero Year. It's this delicate balance of acknowledging significant events that permanently changed him while undoing mistakes. This Dick feels whole because the story acknowledges his role as a hero, brother, son, friend, and partner, but it doesn't staple him to a specific entity like the Titans or the batfamily. Visually, the artwork fun and dynamic which accentuates the best parts of his character. My favorite version of Dick is the one that continues to learn and grow rather than becoming a static figurehead like we see with folks such as Superman.

Jason: Red Hood and the Outlaws, for sure. It's one of DC's record-breaking runs for a reason. This Jason Todd can pack a punch for sure, but what gets me is his one-of-a-kind sense of humor that blends the type of jokes you see from folks his age with the morbid chuckles as he grapples with events from his past. RHATO brings out his flaws as much as his strengths and shows us why he's an anti-hero. There were moments while reading it where I was like, "Jason, you could handle this so much better" but then I catch myself like "But that'd be a boring story". I also adore his friendship dynamics especially with Roy and Bizarro not just for the relationships themselves, but for how they use heartfelt moments to break down the notion that Jason is this cold-blooded killer. It's not the super cheesy fanfiction-level fluff because he's him, but it strikes a balance comforting gentleness with a little bit of tough love. I feel like I can grab a drink with this Jason, rant about my life problems, and he'd validate my feelings while also giving me the Occam's Razor solution.

Tim: I'm torn between the 90s Young Justice run and Red Robin. Red Robin is painfully good in that you can physically feel when Tim is cleaved off from the bats at a time when he's most vulnerable and it speaks to the experience we've all had of being abandoned at some point in our lives. He has freedom, which allows him to grow past the Robin mantle and showcase his skills, but the comics do a good job of highlighting the loneliness of suddenly being on your own. This contradicts the idea prevalent in a lot teen stories where freedom is supposed to fix everything, you're gonna be happier once you break away, etc. Watching Tim's spiraling mental state as he chases these lofty goals with nobody in his corner (until Kon comes along) gives his character a depth that we can all relate to. At the same time, however, I believe a lot of the batfam are most in their element when they're with their friends, and I think it's doubly true for Tim. The 90s YJ embodies the concept of well-intentioned but reckless youth. You have a hot-headed girl with the power of Zeus, a Superman hybrid clone who's barely introduced to the world, a boy who was sent from the future because of his powers' side effects, and World's Greatest Detective 2.0 in the middle of all of it. Yeah, they fight villains and stuff, but through every moment, they're clearly just kids that you can laugh and cry and have fun with. Combine these and you get a character that, in my opinion, feels the most human in the entire DC universe.

Damian: Hands-down it's gotta be the version in Super Sons. When we're first introduced to Damian, he's the Son of the Bat with master assassin skills who grew up far too quickly under his grandfather's command. In the Wayne household, he's surrounded by more adults and is expected to act on their level, especially when he is Robin. Even though Dick encourages him to loosen up, it's not the same because of the age gap, so Damian needs another kid pushing him to change. Enter Jon Kent. The two loathe each other at first as Damian is fixated on being a good Robin and Jon's superhero values align more with his father's than the bats. But as they move through the story, they start synergizing rather than butting heads—Jon learns from Damian all of what superheroing entails (including the not-so-pretty stuff) and Damian learns how to not take everything so seriously. When we think of character growth, we normally think of getting older and becoming more mature. Damian's Super Sons arc is interesting because it subverts that: he was already mature, but his growth happened when he allowed himself to undo it.

Duke: As much as I love the Batman and the Signal comics, I have to say his character shines before that in We Are Robin. My issue with Batman and the Signal is that Duke is, functionally, Batman's sidekick, even when his abilities and characters are being explored. We Are Robin has this rawness to it because it's a grassroots movement of teenagers who want to fix their community. Unlike the batfamily stories, which treat Duke as an accessory, W.A.R. places him front and center as both a leader and an emotional support pillar for his friends. Aside from villains, he also has to deal with common things like crushes, within-group conflicts, a system that's totally against him, and loss and grief (i.e. with Troy Walker). Looking at the comic's visuals, I also love how they integrate things like texts from their home base into the dialogue and action, which can be a metaphor for how Duke's constantly stretching himself between the vigilante and non-vigilante worlds. The details and expressions also make you connect and root for him. You feel angry when he's angry, you're celebrating when he is, and when gut-wrenching realities strike him, you find yourself needing to stop and take a breath too.

Cullen: There is next to no material on this guy, which means I have the fun of extrapolating. In the Batman Universe comics, we're given a backstory where he and Harper come from an abusive background and she got emancipated so they could both leave that environment. He's also bullied for his sexuality, and he found a sense of validation when he teamed up with Midnighter (basically a gay Batman). His Wiki also mentions some other interests, such as the show Supernatural, and I forgot where but somewhere it says he ships Destiel. His comics also show him wearing graphic tees that allude to something like Star Wars and he listens to rock bands, so we can kinda infer he has a part-nerd, part-emo personality. Since Harper's the one in charge between the two, Cullen's ability to take initiative and stand up for himself is woefully under-recognized. Being in the background works in his advantage though, because I can see the potential for him to secretly gain some tricks and make an impact from the sidelines.

Stephanie: Basically anything from before she dated Tim, because I feel like after they got together, she was treated as cannon fodder for his arc (this is why we need women in the industry). Keep in mind she had an entire story before Tim or Bruce. Her motivations stemmed from being the daughter of a D-list villain who wants to "spoil" her father's plans (hence her moniker). She's outspoken, a little reckless, and carries a consistent sense of humor as she apprehends her opponents. People often forget that she trained under Catwoman and Babs's Batgirl, meaning by the time she was Robin, she wasn't a fresh-off-the-street rookie. People also don't talk enough about how she breaks a lot of the stereotypes and taboos held about teenage girls (remember: she debuted in the 1990s). She has a well-rounded intelligence when girls were viewed at ditzy. She's not afraid to get messy when girls were expected to always keep up a perfect appearance. She carried out an entire teenage pregnancy in a time when people refused to even talk about it. Unlatch her from any guy ( love interests, mentors, frickin' Boomer writers, whatever) and you get a damn good role model for young girls.

Cassandra: Shadow of the Batgirl. The main continuity is... a lotta fighting. We see her easily smoke Batman, Nightwing, and other characters in battle. Looks cool, but in my opinion that's the least interesting thing about her. She's one of those characters where it's not her abilities that tell the story, but her decisions. Shadow of the Batgirl addresses this perfectly as she grapples with what to do now that she ran away from her life of isolated training. She doesn't have any connections, she struggles with literacy, and she's just desperate to fit in somewhere. The way she's introduced to Barbara and the Batgirl mantle. Throughout the story, we see her try, fail, and try again to change the soldier-like thinking patterns ingrained in her. Ultimately, she grows into the Batgirl role. Overall, her character highlights how doing what you know is easy, but changing toxic patterns is a never-ending series of tough but necessary decisions.

Barbara: Oracle Babs Oracle Babs Oracle Babs. For real though, she's not a little girl anymore, so I hate when writers try to erase her disability and pigeonhole her back into the Batgirl role. As Oracle, she shows us the different forms of badassery and gives us an appreciation for all the things happening behind-the-scenes that allow Batman and co. to do their thing on the field. Her being Oracle shows how her steadfast determination to help others allows her to adapt to change. I know I can't speak for those with physical disabilities, but she is also some much-needed representation in a genre that's dominated by able-bodied people and she breaks down idea that heroes have a certain "look". Even the names make a world of difference—"Batgirl" sounds infantilizing and undermines her abilities, whereas "Oracle" sounds more like the mature woman we've watched her become.

Harper: Batman Universe, despite all its flaws, gives us one of the most comprehensive depictions of her. I already went over their backstory in Cullen's part so no need to reiterate that. Here I wanna focus on her part with the other bats, and how she both compliments and contrasts them. Harper has this sorta "angry bisexual college student" vibe borne from being jaded by circumstances. She's a vigilante because she wants to protect the person she cares most about: her brother. What makes her different from other self-made vigilantes, however, is the fact that she use her electrical engineering skills to create gear that other Bats don't have, which gives her a unique advantage on the battlefield. Her sarcasm sits on the fence between bright humor (Dick, Steph) and a darker one (Bruce, Jason), so I think she has the most versatility when it comes to interacting with team members.

Carrie: Every canon iteration of her fucking sucks, which is why I just go off and do my own thing. The storyline she shows up in is total garbage, but her first appearance displays a few hallmark traits that I can work with. We have that she's a Girl Scout, she's fun-loving, she's a little impulsive and chaotic, and she's got a characteristic spunk. She's also, visually, the most colorful of the team. It's not much but it's enough for me DC please hire me I can make things better. We have right here the basis of the objectively weird girl. Why not roll with it? I've gotten some folks in my inbox telling me I shouldn't include her at all given the storyline she shows up in, to which I say: I spit at canon and I'm taking the full creative reigns here.

Kate: I wouldn't point to a specific comic, but I personally appreciate any version of her that shows how, underneath her badass Batwoman exterior, she is a woman riddled with flaws. I notice a lot of fans place her (and other women) on a pedestal where they focus on her cool kicks and punches, and in Kate's case, her sexuality. I say this as a lesbian myself: Batwoman is an important piece of representation, but there are moments where fandom tokenizes her. We tend to forget that she dealt with alcohol problems, had multiple partners, broke hearts and got her heart broken numerous times. She has a hard time addressing her past even when it's woven into every fiber of her actions, and consequently, she drifts from place to place. Seeing her make mistakes shed that image of perfection compels me to keep reading.

Alfred: Again, his character is more interesting when you remove him from the batfamily—in this case, with the Pennyworth comics. It's a miniseries connecting to the show, but while the show has a lot of qualities connecting it to other media like Gotham, these comics are flexible enough that you can connect them to the main DC comics. The story centers on a young Alfred in his spy days, and it's fun and action-packed with vibes that are a mix of traditional DC, James Bond, and the Kingsman graphic novel. We see Alfred's relationships, successes, failures, flaws, and strengths way before the Waynes are in the picture, and once we learn that, we can re-read the Batman comics to see how these traits have carried over to his role in the batfamily.

Selina: Catwoman: Anodyne. This run essentially revitalizes Selina's character after decades of being treated as a one-dimensional femme fatale love interest. These comics are also the birth of the Catwoman suit used today, which was designed by writer Ed Brubaker's wife, Mel. In the story, she seeks redemption by helping victims instead of simply going for a selfish steal. She reunites with Holly Robinson and starts on a gradual path to antiheroism and then heroism, where she joins the ranks of Batman and the Justice League. My favorite part is that her redemption isn't from simply falling in love with Bruce and having a change of heart, but rather a journey with clear lessons at every step that the readers can take from.

Bruce: Wayne Family Adventures. No, I'm not joking. WFA gets a lot right, the biggest among them being how Bruce is not a grimdark lone wolf that so many comic writers seem to love. He's serious in the right moments but you can clearly see he's moved on from his childhood trauma and finds a new sense of purpose with the family around him. This Bruce Wayne feels like a person that readers can look up to—he's firm but kind, resilient but soft-hearted, and he's not afraid to express himself or admit when he made a mistake. Batman is often viewed as the pinnacle of what a man should be. In WFA, he is. This version of Bruce doesn't simply dismantle decades of unhealthy superhero male power fantasies, but rather he redefines what masculinity ought to look like.

[robinofgothamcity]

♡ lyric: "fuck you and your mom and your sister and your job and your broke-ass car and that shit you call art. fuck you and your friends that I'll never see again."

♡ character: dick grayson / nightwing

♡ pronouns used: she / her

♡ note: not checked for grammar or spelling mistakes / so i lied and got another batfam idea fic. do not slaughter me for it LMAOOO.

patrolling with some of your closest friends was something you enjoyed doing every time the chance appeared. the batman entourage had always encouraged you to live in Gotham but Dick in specific constantly asked you to move over to Bludhaven to give him an extra hand in night patrols. a part of you always wondered if he wanted you as an extra hand or someone he could flirt with as the others claimed.

you befriended the original robin when you first joined the league. Dick was still robin at the time and being under the care of Dinah Lance for so long, the two of you eventually split from your mentors to become your own heroes and while you both had your on and off agains as friends, everyone from Dinah to Garth and Roy had claimed that Dick saw you as more of a romantic partner than a friend.

in your opinion, you never felt that vibe from him. he always seemed like the most he saw you as was a close friend. someone like Wally or Garth. you had saw Dick several times in just a hour flirt his way through situations with a villain or even the way he was around Kori or Donna. in those situations, he would flirt with them nonstop and he had never done that with you.

"where we heading bats? we're all congregated together!" you exclaimed, your hands leaning against the bow staff that Tim had let you borrow as your weapon as he had extras lying around and your weapon of choice was getting fixed by the Bat himself, "we don't think Gotham is going to do anything too drastic tonight so we figured that we could just walk the street together!" Cass explained.

you were standing next to Damian and Dick, the two of them talking nonsense as all of you started to walk in a random direction. one of your favorite bars that you, Jason, and Dick sometimes attended was coming into plain sight and a gut feeling had appeared when you saw someone walk out.

you had been dating your boyfriend for a little over six months. was it the best six months of your life? no. but having him there as someone to comfort you or if you were in the mood for something else, he was a call away. you did have feelings for him; however, the two of you never got the big L word.

as of recently though, he had started becoming a bit more distant. he would never call you back right away, texts were almost non-existent, and he would put off any dates when they were scheduled. a part of you didn't want to believe he would cheat on you as he had never given you those vibes but another part of you wanted to believe that he wouldn't just nearly fall of the face of the earth for no reason.

"hey, isn't that your little boyfriend?" Jason asked, seeing the person now a bit more clearer. you remained silent, eyes fixated on him and the girl he was with. everyone around you stared at you and your boyfriend as you had confirmed it was him and he was about to start making out with the girl he was with, "oh no," Stephanie and Duke murmured under their breath at the same time as Dick started to sweat out of his hands from nervousness.

"you okay?" he asked a bit hesitantly. you didn't respond once again as you knew you weren't able to do much of anything considering you were still in full superhero get up, "I think if I talk anymore than I should, I might start that kill list Jason has always wanted me to start."

Jason in any other situation would have encouraged your behavior but this particular scenario, he could see that you were beyond livid. Damian and Tim gave each other a quick look as they immediately blocked you from running towards them, "don't! you're gonna blow up your cover!" Dick yelled as they pulled you into a random alley.

you continued to struggle in Damian's arms as you had to give it to the little league of assassins gremlin. he had some strength to his teenage body. more than Dick ever had, that was for sure.

"he doesn't have to know I'm this person! give me five minutes!" you tried one more harsh tug as Tim pulled you closer to him, "no! you're not! I think we can all tell that you might actually kill him!" he exclaimed as you came to realize that there was no use. the stupid Bats weren't going to let you go at it with your idiot of a now ex boyfriend.

"everyone go on patrol and tell Bruce why we left," Dick commanded as they agreed, more so Jason begrudgingly agreeing than the rest, "come on, let's get you home. you're in no mental capacity to be patrolling."

the two of you walked away as you pulled off your mask, anger still seething through you, "listen, I'm not even heartbroken. that doesn't matter right now. what's pissing me off is that he couldn't have just broken up with me? do you know how embarrassing it is to get cheated on? of course you wouldn't because you're Dick Grayson but still!" you yelled.

Dick grabbed you by the side and pulled you in for a hug, "it's not your fault so don't start thinking it is. you did nothing wrong," he explained. you sighed, knowing he was right but it still stung that you were quite literally getting cheated on at this exact moment, "what do I do? I can't tell him that I know he's cheating but I'm not going to let this continue to happen," you groaned.

"how many times have I told you to move over to Bludhaven? I could get you a spot in the department I work at and just leave the god forsaken town you're currently at. what's holding you back?" he asked, the two of you underneath a street light as the light casted a glow to your skin, "why is this your only form of advice. I don't see how me leaving fixes me currently getting cheated on."

Dick chuckled as both of your comm links went off indicating that all of your turns at patrol was done. you saw him furiously texting whoever it was on his phone as all of you landed at the batcave. you slumped down on the chair, taking your mask off tiredly as Cass and Jason sat next to you.

"come on, get dressed, we're going to get back at your stupid ex," she exclaimed, patting your thigh in anticipation. you gave them a look of confusion as Jason practically dragged you to stand up, "don't question just get dressed in the clothes you were wearing."

you followed on what they had told you to do and got dressed. you weren't dressed in anything fancy. all you had on was a pair of jeans, a plain colored t-shirt, and one of your most comfortable sweaters. as you slipped on your shoes, you saw Dick and Damian talking to themselves, still fully dressed in their uniforms.

"okay, we aren't actually going to kill him right? I might've wanted to earlier but I don't think that's a great option at the moment," you replied as you and Cass jumped onto Jason's motorcycle. they didn't respond as Jason had drove way past the speed limit to get to where you were earlier tonight, "can someone tell me what's going on!" you yelled as Jason came to a stop.

"we're confronting the idiot, all together. maybe he'll learn his lesson that he really shouldn't be messing with a member of the Wayne family," Cass stated as Jason agreed. your eyebrows quirked in confusion, "as much as I love all of you, your father hasn't exactly adopted me," you joked as you saw the bar in view.

you saw your ex's car in the front as you saw him and the girl inside, drinking and talking. all of you hopped off the motorcycle as Jason didn't even give you the time to follow along and barged inside. you walked in behind him, seeing Jason grab him by the collar of his shirt as Cass did the same.

"what is going on!" he yelled as they threw him on the pavement. you stared down at your ex, anger getting you so badly that your eyes were turning bloodshot red, "oh-hey," he replied quietly as he saw the way you were staring at him. you bent down and swung the hardest punch you could land on his nose as he fell back against Cass's shoes, making her grunt disgust as he fell onto the ground with a thud, "what the hell!" he screamed.

"this is what happens when you're too much of a chickenshit to actually dump me! you piece of shit!" you screamed as you kicked him once more but this time in the back, "who are you two! how did you know I was even here! you don't know the full story!" he screamed to try and defend himself but ultimately failing.

it was now Jason's turn to bend down but instead of hitting him, he opted to spit on him, "don't worry on who we are or how she found out. worry on what we can do to you. her and I in specific," Jason threatened as Cass agreed before she freely kicked him on the back again.

it didn't take long for footsteps to appear in the background as you immediately assumed that it was the police and all three of you would have to start making a run for it, "what's going on?" you heard the very voice of Dick Grayson's Nightwing. you chuckled as you saw your ex sigh in relief, "they just jumped me! do something!" he yelled.

Dick laughed as he turned to all three of you, "what's the situation?" he asked as you smiled, "nothing! we just had a bit of an altercation after I found him cheating. nothing dire or something to alert authorities about," you giggled as you stood on the heels of your feet knowing that your ex was not about to get what he wanted.

Damian who was standing next to Dick nodded, "doesn't seem like anything is going on. we need to check other parts of Gotham. come on Nightwing," Damian said as Dick agreed. your ex who was now on the ground as Cass hit him once again was groaning in pain as he murmured about how useless Gotham heroes were.

"don't bother her again or we will find out and we will make sure the next time your family sees you it'll be six feet underground," Jason threatened as Cass nodded, "or maybe we can bury him alive! never done that before."

your ex remained on the ground as all three of you left the scene. you knew the bar wouldn't have any kind of way to figure out that the three of you essentially jumped him as it was too old and raggedy to have any kind of camera or night cameras. even if they did, a quick call to Tim could have quickly erased the footage. not that Jason would've cared. he enjoyed being on the run.

+

you sighed in relief as you packed the last box in the truck Bruce had rented for you. once all the commotion with your ex settled down, Dick had managed to convince you enough to finally move to Bludhaven. you had found an apartment close to where Dick lived as he offered to 'show you around' even though you knew Bludhaven as much as he did.

"come on, where's that smile!" Dick exclaimed, grabbing you by the cheeks and lifting your smile. you rolled your eyes, smacking his hands away from your face, "stop! now let's go. I don't want to be packing too late into the night and be tired for my first thing at work," you replied as you and Dick jumped inside of the truck.

you saw your old apartment building getting smaller and smaller as you turned to Dick to give him a smile. he returned it as he slyly slid his hand on your thigh and giving it a squeeze. you had no idea what your relationship with Dick would become in the future but at the moment, you had no intention of rushing anything.

all you knew was that maybe you would finally act on the feelings that everyone said Dick had for you. you grabbed his hand, tapping on his knuckles softly as he chuckled before interlacing them together as you saw the 'Welcome to Bludhaven, New Jersey' sign coming into view.

[serpenteve]

why we ship darklina

an essay literally no one asked for

Nobody needs a "reason" to ship Darklina. But considering this is a villain x hero pairing, it got me thinking about why we shipped it in the first place when the narrative and author so badly wanted us to root for the more sensible alternative pairing and why it became the most popular ship of the entire trilogy.

Personally, I find it really interesting (and low-key hilarious) that a lot of the reasons shippers gravitated towards Darklina can be directly traced back to how badly Bardugo bungled Alina's character arc, Mal's entire characterization and narrative role, Nikolai's wasted potential as an alternative love interest, and the noble intentions she gives the the Darkling.

Alina's Character Arc

Alina's character arc doesn't match who she is as a character. I've written more about that in this post, but a lot of readers were introduced to a passive and insecure protagonist who we were expecting to undergo a typical YA coming-of-age character arc where Alina acquires self-acceptance, confidence, and embraces the full breadth of her powers over the course of the trilogy. Instead, Bardugo gave Alina the kind of character arc that's usually deserved for power-hungry anti-heroines or tragic heroes with a fatal flaw to punish.

The plot offers a strange binary: either Alina suppresses and hides her powers and therefore stays away from descending into villainy OR Alina attempts to find Morozova's amplifiers in order to defeat the Darkling but then becomes corrupted by power in the process. Alina's journey to self-acceptance and exploring her own powers are unfortunately entangled with her relationship with the Darkling. The only way she is allowed to move forward through the plot is to succumb to the corrupting influence of the amplifiers.

For better or for worse, the first character to really embrace her powers instead of thinking she's a fraud or that she's weak or that she's an unholy abomination is the Darkling. He's the first person to recognize her power for what it is and accurately judge its potential and implications for the rest of the world. He advocates for her in front of the royal court, in front other Grisha who think she's weak, and even against Baghra who is initially a very ill-tempered mentor with little to no faith in Alina's abilities. He even rather ironically advocates for her even when the heroic person who's supposed to be supporting her (Mal) does not.

At the start of her journey, Alina is insecure and in constant need of assurance and validation. The Darkling's role as her mentor and guide into this unfamiliar world of Grisha makes him the perfect advocate not only for her powers but also to help Alina see her place in the world. However, once he is revealed to be the villain, Alina also fails to realize that it's time for her to advocate for herself and throws the baby out with the bathwater.

Mal's Characterization & Narrative Role

When Alina loses the Darkling as an advocate in S&B, Mal steps up to take this role. Alina is still rather passive for the majority of the first book and it's Mal who originally wants her to have Morozova's stag as an amplifier if it will mean being able to stand against the Darkling. Bardugo intended for him to be a heroic love interest as a foil to the villainous love interest and I believe she mostly succeeds for the first book.

However, because this is a story about punishing Alina's "evil ambition" (despite there being very little evidence of that) Mal is supposed to serve as a voice of reason in the narrative. Once Alina considers the necessity of acquiring more amplifiers to defeat the Darkling, it is Mal's role to warn her of the potential consequences, to remind her of her inner humanity, and to ward against the corrupting influence of Morozova's amplifiers. Mal's declarations that he wants back the old girl he knew without any power is meant to drive an ideological wedge between them, yes, but he's also meant to be Correct™ because, again, Bardugo is writing a story about a corrupted power-hungry heroine who goes too far and needs to be punished rather than the arc we were all expecting and the one that Alina's character needs: a coming-of-age story of self-acceptance and personal growth.

Some point after the backlash of Siege & Storm, Bardugo seems to have become aware of her mistake and attempts to scrub Mal's character to be more sympathetic. There is a bizarre exchange half-way through the third book when Mal finally declares:

"I wasn't afraid of you, Alina. I was afraid of losing you. The girl you were becoming didn't need me anymore, but she's who you were always meant to be."

This is an interesting line because it's a complete reversal of Mal's narrative role so far. He's supposed to be her voice of reason that opposes her at every turn but readers interpreted him as being resentful of Alina's powers and angry that she was no longer dependent on him. Bardugo is forced to retcon Mal's entire role in the narrative from being a voice of reason that opposes Alina's quest for power to a supportive friend who will fight by her side. But this was never her initial intention and I believe this change was brought on 100% by audience reaction because she failed to understand the arc her heroine needed and the kind of story her audience was anticipating for such a character.

Needless to say, having your heroine's main love interest actively resent her quest for power until half-way through the third damn book did not endear many readers to Mal. Because Bardugo failed to understand the kind of character development her heroine needed and failed to understand audience expectations, we hated Mal. He became the embodiment of every toxic chauvinist we'd ever met who can't stand the idea of his partner's success and feels entitled to be the center of her universe. He was not the voice of reason. He was an annoying gnat hellbent on dragging the heroine down and away from her destiny. We did not want to root for him. Even the villain was more sympathetic than him because he could bring her closer to achieving the self-acceptance the narrative was obsessed with denying her.

Nikolai's Wasted Potential as a Solid Love Interest

Nikolai plays several roles in Alina's journey but most importantly in our discussions for why we ended up shipping Darklina, his entire potential as a serious love interest is wasted.

When we meet Nikolai, we have hitched our wagons to the Darklina train because despite being the villain, the Darkling is the only one who will allow the heroine to accept her powers and come into her own. Her heroic love interest, Mal, is actively sabotaging her efforts and holding her back from her true potential. But then, in swoops Nikolai and we pause, wondering if there may be a better heroic alternative after all?

In a lot of ways, Nikolai and the Darkling alike: they are eager for Alina's power and see her as a solution to all their problems. They may want to use Alina to prop up their own agendas, but unlike Mal, Alina's summoning powers are a massive plus, not a burden. Nikolai is the heroic alternative to our villainous Aleksander. So we wait, wondering if Nikolai will be the one to fix this mess of a romantic subplot. His royal connections offer an easy path to upwards mobility for our heroine and we sense that an alliance between them (even if it's initially political in nature) may bring our heroine closer to obtaining more power, influence, and self-acceptance not only for herself, but also for the oppressed minority she is a part of.

But, again, Bardugo is still obsessed with that "punish the heroine for wanting power" agenda so while Nikolai exists as another mentor figure who offers Alina advice on how to rule, how to appeal to other people, how to charm, how to win people over, and Alina learns and applies much of what she learns from him, he is not treated as a real love interest.

Despite Nikolai being written as a fairy tale prince (handsome, charming, smart as a whip, brave in battle, etc) Alina never actually considers him romantically. They are friends and allies at best and the only time she considers kissing him is only when she's pissed about Mal.

Nikolai's proposal at the end of Ruin & Rising feels like one last saving grace, one last opportunity for our heroine to take control of her life and make a dramatic change to break from the past. But this too is rejected because Alina's arc will never let her access any power. She does not reject Nikolai because she wants to marry for love. She rejects him because she has been "punished" for wanting power and has internalized that she must not seek any more power for fear of angering the plot gods (and Bardugo). She must return to being nobody in order to remain a good and moral person.

(And, of course, we resent Mal even more because who in their right mind would choose him over Nikolai? Once again, he becomes a roadblock on our heroine's journey to power. We grow irritated that the heroine is failing to grasp an opportunity to elevate herself. We throw the book against the wall. Why are we even following this heroine?)

The Darkling's Motivations

Still, all of the above might still not have been enough to pull the reader to the villain's side. But the Darkling is the living embodiment of Villain Has A Point™. He is not pure unadulterated evil. He is not Lord Sauron or Voldemort or the Terminator.

He's more Magneto, Roy Batty, or Ozymandias---a man who is part of an oppressed minority who longs for justice and power but is absolutely unhinged in his methods.

Alina runs away because she does not want to be a non-consenting weapon in hands. But we always end up wondering what would have happened had Baghra not warned her. What would have happened if Alina gladly joined the Darkling's side? There's hundreds of fanfics written precisely about this situation because despite the villainy of his methods, we wonder if Ravka might not have been safer after all?

If the Darkling had used the Fold as a weapon against Fjerda and Shu Han, would any of the problems Ravka faces in the later books even exist? Would any Grisha fall victim to the khergud programs or be killed as witches? The Darkling wipes out Novokribirsk and kills hundreds of lives, but how many would he have saved with the Fold as Ravka's greatest shield and sword? 🤷🏽‍♀️

And therein lies the problem with the trilogy inconsistent moral landscape. The Darkling is an anti-villain that exists in a narrative that is very black and white, unlike the rest of the books in the Grishaverse where our protagonists are anti-heroes who kill, steal, and torture their way through the plot with nary a judgmental glance from the narrative. We long to see our heroine give in to her dark side and get her hands dirty because watching a naive, passive, scared little girl grow into a ruthless powerful Grisha would have made for a hell of a compelling story.

But that's not the story Bardugo wanted to tell.

The Greg Trilogy

Despite taking place in a fantasy Tsartist setting, the Grisha trilogy is oddly anti-Grisha. The narrative doesn't spend much time trying to examine the context or implications of an oppressed minority group fighting for power other than to say "magic powers = evil". Nikolai skates by on a throne of inherited wealth, privilege, and imperialism but it's okay because he's charming and witty and the only monstrous part of him is the Darkling's curse. Literally everything is worse for Ravka and their Grisha after the destruction of the Fold but Ravka must move forward into a new age without relying on Grisha power but putting their efforts into new muggle technologies. Alina must be stripped of her powers and returned to her "old self" in order to be purged of evil.

Basically, it's all one gigantic ✨ dumpster fire ✨ of mismatched character arcs, incompatible moral aesops, inconsistent characterizations, wasted potential, unexamined plot points but it's a a dumpster fire we lovingly and spitefully embrace in fanfic.

We don't ship Alina with the Darkling because we're stupid abuse apologists who somehow missed the giant flashing moral aesop of the books---and honestly, who could have possibly missed them when it's shoved in the reader's face every other chapter? We ship Alina with the Darkling because the entire ship is the embodiment of wasted potential (and wasted ✨aesthetics✨ tbqh 👀). We ship Alina with the Darkling because we're sick and tired of stories where female power is demonized. We ship Alina with the Darkling because the plot gave us literally no other alternative to see our heroine succeed except to give in to her alleged villainy.

But most of all, people ship Darklina because Leigh Bardugo utterly failed in writing the story she intended to write because had she succeeded, Darklina would not be the most popular ship of the trilogy.

[stxrvel]

ivy

summary: you have to accept your fate as the wife of another man while the one you love decides to step back.

pairing: royal!au bucky barnes x reader (around 1800's)

words: +2.5k

warnings: very angsty? that's the word, isn't it? highly inspired by ivy (taylor swift always right) and i am not surprised. English is not my native language, so sorry for any mistakes! also, i'll probably edit this later, and add a few things to it. i only wrote this at midnight and I'm half asleep. EDITED! :)

that's it, hope you like it!

i'd live and die for moments that we stole on begged and borrowed time so tell me to run or dare to sit and watch what we'll become

The ballroom was more crowded than you would expect. People were moving around, laughing and dancing as best they could to the melody that echoed loudly from the band playing at the back of the hall. The sound of clinking glasses and laughing eyes were a constant under your gaze, sharp but cautious, as well as haughty and tense, waiting. Just waiting.

You couldn't stop moving around the room. You encountered countless new faces every time you turned a corner of the castle. It was definitely a huge party, surely worthy of celebrating an event of such magnitude as the one that day. Despite your reluctance to hold such a (gigantic) gathering, you were quickly convinced by the people you lived with in that place, who easily persuaded you by pointing out all the advantages that such a big celebration could bring to the town: besides generating more unity as all the people of the kingdom were present, it was also the perfect opportunity to create political and commercial ties with the regents of the neighbouring kingdoms.

It was, quite simply, the perfect moment for everything and everyone.

Except for you.

The engagement celebration party.

Your engagement to the new king of Anderland, Steven Rogers.

That morning went by too fast. Your mother showed up too early in your chambers, exclaiming that it was the big day where news of such magnitude would be made public and that you were surely entirely happy about what was soon to happen. Marrying Steve, the great and compassionate King Steve. Yes, it was a great event for the kingdom and the reputation of your father's legacy. Your sister, the ruthless Natasha, had appeared in your room in the same manner as your mother with a big smile on her face, and behind her her entourage of professional make-up artists who were going to fix you up for the rest of the morning, the Black Widows.

But the truth was, no, you were not entirely happy. And that fact, if they ever noticed it, was completely overlooked by your mother and Natasha, and even your father, to whom you were closest. It was only a few hours later, minutes before the great feast was to begin, that one person could see the misfortune you were trying to hide in the dull gleam of your eyes.

The Duchess of Vandurness, Wanda Maximoff. Your best friend and only confidante, the only one who truly knew the whole truth.

"By the gods. I haven't seen you this down since Roy passed away," Wanda commented as soon as she entered your room and noticed the dull expression that adorned your face, trying unsuccessfully to cheer you up after reminding you of your dog's death a couple of months ago, "Sorry, bad choice of words."

She approached you with a sympathetic expression, as if she could understand the pain that tightened your chest and the helplessness that left a lump in your throat, but the truth was you didn't know if she could understand.

"I know it's not the big moment you were expecting, nor with whom you were expecting it, but the faster it happens the less strong the pain will be. I promise."

And it was a lie. Of course it was. Wanda didn't lie often, mainly because she wasn't good at it, but when it happened you used to hold on tightly to that lie, because you preferred it to the agonizing grief that would come with accepting the raw truth.

The beginning of the night was hard, amidst fake smiles and hundreds of congratulations from both the townspeople and the kings of the nearby kingdoms. The sight of the pile of dresses swaying to the music and your family pretending that everything was perfect as they chatted animatedly with Steve and his parents, made you terribly anxious because you knew that, when the day was over, there would be no turning back. After that night, your days would be numbered and there would be no escape from the destiny that had been forcibly and fiercely marked in the book of your life.

A destiny in which you were marrying Steve, and not the man you truly loved.

Bucky.

"Everything okay, sweetheart?" You heard Steve's voice before you felt his arm around your waist. You lifted your head to watch his blue eyes sparkle under the chandeliers with a confessed adoration for your person, "You've been walking all over the place for a while now."

"Yeah, all good," you quickly replied and returned your gaze to the crowd of couples dancing animatedly, "I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed. There are too many people."

"Sure," Steve exclaimed, as if he had suddenly remembered how much you disliked being around people for so long, especially in celebration of an event that caused you nothing but torture, but he couldn't know that, "If you want, I can ask Wanda to escort you to your quarters. I saw her a few seconds ago talking to..."

"Steve," you interrupted him when he had raised his head to try to look for Wanda in the crowd, "No need. I'll take a walk around the courtyard."

"You sure? I can walk with you..."

"I'll be fine, I can take care of myself."

Steve's hand, the one that wasn't around your waist, held your hand as you gave him a tight-mouthed smile. He believed you without hesitation. Of course he did, he always did. He slowly approached your face, not taking his gaze from yours for several seconds, until his lips made contact with yours for a few brief seconds, as if he had all the time in the world to do better later.

His hand squeezed your waist lightly before he let go and gave you a deeply enamoured smile before pulling away and starting to walk to the Stark family table, one of the most important ones. The king, Tony, and Steve had a good relationship, both in battle and when it came to sitting down to talk business or just mundane things like planning a festival in their respective kingdoms to celebrate their recent business union. You could tell he was one of the few people Steve considered a friend.

You averted your gaze as your future husband took a seat between Tony and his wife, and took a deep breath which, for familiar reasons, caused a burning in your chest that you had been trying to control for months.

You began to make your way to the gold decorated glass door that led to a grand stone staircase adorned with beautiful green bushes, freshly trimmed that morning, with breathtaking floral arrangements.

As you finished descending the steps, you noticed Wanda seated to the left of the exit along with her brother, Duke Pietro Maximoff. Their gazes focused on your figure as you stopped to watch them, both so condescending and kind, willing to turn a blind eye as you walked to the back of the courtyard, knowing the way by heart. Walking with the same speed and emotion as hundreds of times before, days in a row and nights on the run, burning with the pain of stolen moments and tight-mouthed smiles full of anguish; expressions that tried to hide an affliction that they tried to appease with the warmth of two bodies.

A fiery grief that would never be extinguished.

"Bucky," you whispered like a prayer, watching the man through the window of the small gardening house where he spent most of his time, "Bucky."

You opened the door with a little more force than usual, and the man was elated for a few seconds. When your gaze met his, a bitter feeling welled up in his chest, and you felt the same sourness pass through your body as he turned his gaze to the ground refusing to continue to look at something that could never be his. Something that did not belong to him, nor something he would belong to.

You approached slowly, closing the door behind you, always bolted. You watched his body tense as you were too close to be able to brush his body with a breath. So close to love and so far from accepting the truth.

"The flowers are beautiful," was the only thing that could come out of your mouth, as you felt a burning in your eyes that you were sadly familiar with, "I would never have imagined that dahlias and lilies would create such a sight to behold as you arranged them."

Bucky felt a shiver run through his body as he heard your voice crack. The temptation to raise his hands so that he could shelter you in his arms, trying to drown out and drive away the grief that also gripped him at those moments. But he couldn't... he shouldn't.

You raised one of your hands to rest on his shoulder, and though you knew he wanted to repel the gesture, he did not. He held still as you ran your fingers up and down the material of his shirt.

"I'm sorry," you murmured, choking back a sob.

"It's not your fault."

"I could have objected, I can make my own decisions."

"You couldn't have done anything. You couldn't change the decisions that were made before you were born."

The man turned his face to look at you, your eyes crystalline like dewdrops on flowers and the ground after a rainy day. His eyes narrowed as he tried to contain his suffering as you freely expressed it, because he did not want to collapse in front of you. He had always been the strong one, he couldn't let himself be defeated at that moment.

"I should have tried harder," you try to excuse yourself, but Bucky was already shaking his head in denial.

"There was nothing we could do. That's how it was supposed to happen."

His cold hand took yours, squeezing it a little as if that way he could appease the aching clamour of your need to be with him. Of him being the man you would soon marry, the one to put that ring on your finger, on the hand he held so tightly, as if just letting go of it meant he had to let you go forever; let you go with someone who wasn't him, and that was totally unacceptable.

"It's not fair. I don't understand why my father wouldn't listen to me. There's nothing he won't do for me, why not this time... not...?"

"Steve is a good man, Y/N, he'll know how to take care of you."

"No, no, no..." you shook your head repeatedly, trying to get the idea that you would spend the rest of your life with a man you didn't love out of your mind, "Don't you dare, Barnes."

"We've spent so much time pushing our luck, I feel like we're already running out."

"You started this! If we're burning now it's because of you, and now you don't want to do anything about it," your voice sounded desperate, trying to find a way out of this little war in which they had no chance of winning.

"The best thing we can do is to leave it here, just go our separate ways from now on. We can't risk it any more."

"You told me this wouldn't happen," your eyes quickly blurred with tears that expressed the uneasiness that haunted your stability like a threat, "And you said - you said if this happened, we'd leave. You said we'd leave! You said you weren't going to leave me alone."

"We can't do that. We'd spend our whole lives running away."

"So what of it?"

"Running away to survive isn't life, Y/N."

The fire that burned in the pit of your stomach didn't subside, it only seemed to grow hotter with every word that came out of the mouth of the man in front of you. The man who had promised you a life and was now tearing it all apart in front of you like a tiny sheet of paper.

You couldn't stop the sobs that came out of your mouth, that tried to give sound to the unbearable pain you felt knowing that there was nothing to fight for now.

A broken heart.

"You're a coward," you managed to say, then abruptly pulled your hands away from his. The look of rage and anger you gave him froze him for a few seconds, trying to understand that he had caused it with his insecurities and his infinite fear of ruining your life, "You said you weren't going to leave," your voice came out as a broken whisper, a sentence you repeated to try to convince yourself that what was happening couldn't be true.

"I'm doing what I think is best for you."

"What's best for me?" you exclaimed, incredulously. It seemed that the man in front of you was not the same man who smiled at you every morning when you had your clandestine meetings, lamenting the loss of his dreams, his promises and the living. "What's best for me is to be with you, Bucky! Not with Steve, not with my parents, not in this castle. If you're not here none of this will be worth it in the end."

"I can't give you what you need, or what you deserve. You're not going to have a good life with me."

"It's going to be a good life just by being with you."

Bucky pursed his lips, his eyes glazing over just like yours the first time you spoke. He was afraid to speak for a few seconds, feeling his breath hitch with every sullen breath he took trying to calm the runaway beating of his heart. His heart, which rejected everything that came out of his mouth.

The feeling of despair mixed with helplessness took over his resignation and he was quickly trying to find a way to make you see reason. To let you know that really this, all this suffering, was for the welfare of both of you. His lack and inadequacy of words made him feel incapable of anything for a moment. His world was falling apart.

"What are we supposed to do if he found out? He'd destroy this damn castle!"

You cringed as Bucky turned away from you and ran his hands through his dark hair. His exalted voice hadn't surprised you, you'd heard him angry a couple of times before, but that voice had never been directed at you with such rage and impotence. He had never looked at you the way he did now: scared, desperate and fearful of what might happen, whether you would continue all this from the shadows, as always, or whether you would decide to run away and not look back, knowing that you would live with a sign marked on your back with someone chasing you wherever you set foot.

And, sadly, he was right.

"I can't do this, Y/N, it's too... painful."

"But you can't just walk away. I'm covered in you. I'm your half and you're mine. Wherever we go, a part of the other is always going to be incomplete."

"Then I will rejoice in the knowledge that someday our halves will meet again, and be united as they once were."

His eyes watched you resignedly, and though you wanted to yell at him to try to talk some sense into him, you knew he was too stubborn. You took no comfort in knowing that he would suffer if he left, because you would be the same. At least he would have his freedom, he could freely start a life with whomever he wanted the moment he left this realm, but what about you? You would have to start a life, as queen, hand in hand with someone to whom you cannot, nor will you ever be able to, return the love he professes for you.

The adoration with which you looked at Bucky, how your hands worshipped him as if he were some kind of mythological god and how your body reacted to his, was something you could never give to Steve. It was something you could never give to anyone else you were with after Bucky.

He broke you. Something in you died that night as you watched him resign himself to losing the fight he'd started, but wasn't capable of fighting even because it was tearing him apart inside.

"There's still a chance we may never see each other again," you murmured reluctantly, and his gaze met yours. The pain his gaze reflected was a mirror image of yours, and his shoulders slumped as he weighed the possibility he had not wanted to think about.

"Then we will meet where spirit meets bone."

His voice was a low, raspy whisper, out of tune with the speed at which his chest moved with his breathing. Unlike his body, straight and tense, his eyes said everything his heart truly felt, even though he knew he felt the same emptiness in his chest as you did. The emptiness of knowing you're going to lose what you love the most without being able to do anything about it.

You weren't ready for this. You weren't ready to give up, but you couldn't stand alone fighting for a lost cause, when a relationship like yours stands strong when they run hand in hand.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you knew there was no turning back.

"In a land forgotten by faith."

Bucky shook his head in denial, frantic because he knew what would happen next, but reluctant to stop you from making the one decision he had allowed you to make.

You moved quickly to him, and cradled his pain-stricken face. Your thumbs moved gently over his cheeks and he closed his eyes, enjoying your touch. The last he would feel, surely for the rest of his life.

"Goddamn, Barnes," you muttered closing your eyes and resting your forehead on his, "I should never have let you in. But how was I supposed to know?"

Your breaths hitched for a few seconds, as they did every time you lay down on the makeshift bed in that little cottage, just staring at the sky through the glass that adorned the ceiling thinking of the endless possibilities they would have if this wasn't their destiny.

"I'm sorry," was all he said. And certainly the last thing you would hear from his lips for the rest of your life.

-----

i didn't intend to end it here, but sleep overcame my ideas and my inspiration, sorry! edited!

[shinonometrash]

Jasper Lane’s Main Story: English vs Japanese version, full summary, comparisons & thoughts. Part 1 of 3. (TW: rape, sexual assault, drugging)

So! Jasper’s route has finally been released in English as of August 31st, 2021. It seems that Voltage is following the same release order for consorts and events as how items were released in the Japanese version. I spent wayyy too much money to binge the entire route in a day...and get all the premium content...(honestly the hardest part about binging a route isn’t the love passes, it’s getting all the spirit points. Ugh.) I took note of a lot of different things in this and wanted to make a post going over all this information. Sorry this post took me so long to make, I had to go back and reread a lot of Jasper’s story in Japanese to refresh my memory as well as make sure I didn’t miss any big details since I had read it first back in May, and my Japanese has improved a lot (I think) since then. It was unfortunate and I didn’t really want to, lol. But! Now it’s his birthday (9/11)! I get to post this on his birthday! Happy birthday, asshole! This post is why you and your route suck! I’m probably only going to be able to post this first part today though, because honestly this post is taking much more time than I expected.

The biggest thing is going to be that 

Jasper’s English (Court of Darkness) route does NOT contain any major triggering content. You’ll probably still want to punch him, though.

So, if you’re looking to find out about that, there you go. Anyways.

I’ve broken this into four posts, three that contain summaries of each chapter, regardless of changes, and one that only contains the changes. 

(As of the date of posting, 9/11/2021, I have not completed all the posts yet. Please check back later and I will add the links to the rest of  them as they are posted.)

This post is part one including the summaries. Part two in currently progress. Part three in currently progress. Post with ONLY comparisons and thoughts currently in progress. 

Since I had contacted Voltage about the triggering content in Jasper’s route (and made a very lengthy Tumblr post about it) and they told me they prefer to remove potentially triggering content from stories in the localization process, rather than simply adding trigger warnings, I was more or less expecting this. Although...I didn’t really expect it to be to this extent, nor did I realize how I was actually going to feel about it...! Of course, the CoD did a fabulous job with the content they were given and what they were told to do, as always, and I completely understand why they changed what they did. Like. Seriously. They did the best they could do with the absolute mess of a route they were given. But, like, the route was an absolute mess to begin with. So there’s only so much that can be done to fix it...💀 Anyways, please know that any of my complaining is not directed at the CoD team because they’re wonderful!! Support them by buying in game content if you’re able to!! They recently released a special VIP pack that’s honestly an AMAZING deal. This is just a criticism of the route itself and my thoughts on it, not on the CoD team.

Now, onto the main point of the post...the English and Japanese versions of this route are very different. 

Warning: This post contains major spoilers about Jasper’s main story as well as potentially triggering content including but not limited to rape, sexual assault, and drugging.

In addition, I am not including any CGs in this post as I’m not trying to break Voltage’s policy.

Please click under the read more to continue.

Okay, so first off this is probably going to sound incredibly self centered of me, but I sort of get the feeling that my post about his Japanese route had some sort of influence on the changes in his route...? Not sure how big of tabs Voltage keeps on Tumblr...but it seems like nearly all of the main points I was specifically really mad about got changed--and I’m sure they must have definitely seen my post...? Also, this too probably sounds silly, but I was kinda happy reading some of the dialogue that was nearly the same as the way I had translated it. Part of me was still afraid that I had no idea what I was talking about and just looked stupid writing a long post with misinterpretations of lines💀

Pre-notes: 1. For those who named their cat something else, Robin = MC’s cat.  2. In the direct quotes, anytime you see “---” it’s just me cutting out a part in the dialogue that I deem unnecessary for comparison purposes. 3. I bolded whether there’s differences in the chapters or not in each chapter summary, in case you only want to read the summaries for the chapters with the differences. It’s pretty much going to be the same as reading my other post, then, but I explain more of the chapter here, usually.

Chapter 1-3

Literally so dull. Nothing really of note. Pretty much the same between the English and Japanese. Jasper asks about her hands and she’s like “omg he’s so nice he was worried about my hands!!”, she meets Sherry and they become friends, the headmaster tells her she has to learn magic if she wants a chance at going back home. They go to the runes and learn about the history of Saligia. Guy grabs her again, she escapes.

Chapter 4

It starts to get a little bit more interesting here. Overall, nothing seems too different between the two stories yet. Jasper invites her to the rooftop for a tea party. Jasper is desperately trying to get MC to interact (in a positive manner) with Guy, she asks Jasper to have tea with her instead. Sherry and Rio mention a ball. Toa and Guy get into a glaring match. Toa leaves. You know, the usual. Jasper whispers something in Guy’s ear and they leave, and everybody follows them because...you know. They discover that Guy’s room has been trashed. Toa walks in and asks what’s going on, and then falls silent when he sees Guy’s room. Guy is like “Toa, you left before me, did you not?” and Toa is like “What are you trying to imply?” then they glare at each other until Lynt is like “Are you trying to say that Toa is the culprit? He would never.” Fenn agrees. Roy says they should investigate, and Toa says he will also investigate, since he is the dorm prefect after all. Afterwards, Jasper asks Guy if he thinks Toa did it, Guy says “No, Qelsum isn’t that stupid.” Guy says they need information. He sends Jasper out to investigate, tells Jasper to be sure not to be seen. Fenn, Violet, and MC go out for food or something, and MC runs into Sirius, literally. Fenn is like “what are you doing?” and MC says she ran into somebody but turns around and there’s nobody there. I guess it’s trying to imply that Jasper is stealthy and can hide away into the night or something?? But then that’s it.

Chapter 5-6

No overall noticeable changes. It’s time for the ball! Sherry lends MC a dress and they head to the ball. She sees Jasper in the hallway closely inspecting wine, without Guy. She calls his name and he startles. He tells her he’s selecting a wine for Guy because Guy is very selective and will not consume anything that Jasper has not prepared. Jasper essentially says that Guy is his reason for living. Then they go into the dance hall. And Guy is all like “why did you come in together?” then they say they ran into each other by chance. Guy goes to take a sip of the wine, looks  startled, and then ends up spitting it out into a handkerchief. He claims he choked on the wine. She finds Jasper in the hallway again, looking at the wine, and calls out. Again, he startles. She wonders why. She tries to ask, but then he dodges the question by telling MC that the dress looks good on her. He invites her to dance and says he’ll teach her. They head back to the ballroom, she asks him some various questions and they all basically end with him saying that he serves Guy or whatever, and she’s thinking all like “work, again...?”. Jasper then tries to make her dance with Guy instead of himself, and when she says she’s going to leave he grabs her arm. There’s a few choices you can make, but one of them is “Please let go of me.” And then! And then! This man literally looks at her and asks “Why?” Yikes!! And she asks why he’s asking why, and he says he doesn’t want her to go, so she agrees to stay a little longer. (Mistake #1) Then he shoves her off onto Guy again. After dancing with Guy she goes out to the balcony and runs into Aquia, and Aquia pricks his finger and it starts bleeding. She tries to look at it and it somehow brushes her lips and at that moment Guy and Jasper come out and ask what’s going on. Aquia apologizes (he did nothing wrong!! >:(  ) They then discover that Aquia’s wound has magically healed somehow. Then here’s the scene with  Guy: “That girl, I want to know everything about her.” Jasper: “Oh my, have you fallen in love?” Guy: “Something like that” Jasper: “Congratulations! We must celebrate this wonderful occasion!” Guy: “That’s enough now. Investigate that woman’s power.”

Chapter 7

No major changes between versions. But...Ughhhhhhhh. We’re gonna meet Sirius in this chapter. But first some humor. They go to the S rank lounge, I believe after the ball. Jasper offers to make coffee. Literally ALL the valets suddenly RUSH to Jasper’s side to ask him to teach them how to brew coffee. So there sitting in the S rank lounge with Jasper brewing coffee while all the other valets are like 👀👀👀👀 lmaoooo. Aight and so the humorous part ends there, sorry! That’s it! Now we must move on.  Fenn says he wants to go out drinking and asks Jasper if he’d like to join, Jasper declines saying he has other matters to attend to. We learn that Hawke, Jasper, and Lance are all drinking buddies. MC is all like “oh thank god, that means he does get time off!” -_- So then Toa laughs and comments how close Jasper and MC are, and is like “wow imagine using your valet for something like that” and then tells her that she’ll be a tool for Avari if she sticks with them, and that it’s not too late to switch to Qelsum’s side instead. (She does not switch. Mistake #2. Arguably her biggest mistake in this entire route, if you ask me.) Guy interjects and tells Toa that MC is his, and Toa is like “lmaooo then why does she seem closer with your valet than you?” and then they glare at each other. MC gets annoyed and leaves. Jasper asks where she’s going. She says she’s going back to her room to see Robin. For some reason, Jasper seems disappointed about this? Afterwards, she goes to her room for a bit but then decides to go explore the town with Robin. Uh oh! Robin goes missing.

She starts looking for Robin and runs into this sketch looking dude. He asks her where’s she’s going, she says she’s looking for her cat. He’s like “oh that flying thing?” and she’s like “Yeah!” and then is like “could you just tell me which way he was headed? I can get there myself.” but the guy insists that she should follow him instead, because the streets are dangerous and she might run into dangerous men. The man is then like “I’m Sirius.” (which, when I first read the Japanese, I thought he was saying “I’m serious” lmaoo) and then he frickin grabs her hand and drags her off!!! Yikes! 

Chapter 8, 1st Interlude, and Chapter 9 

Okay so we’ve got the most significant changes in these chapters. Like. A LOT. This is what the majority of my previous post focused on: the drugging, sexual assault, and morning after.  They basically did their best to make this consensual. It went very similar to what I had predicted, although played up a bit more cringe-y than I had expected...or maybe I just hadn’t thought about how cringe-y it would be. There’s literally so many changes that it’d be a bit of a pain to summarize all of them between the versions, I’m just going to put the actual dialogue/stuff from the stories for a lot of this so you can see the differences more directly. (The Japanese will be roughly translated by me, of course.)

Chapter 8

So Sirius starts walking and walking and walking and she asks where they’re going but he keeps insisting it’ll only be just a little longer or that it’s a shortcut and stuff. Ughhhhh...Then she’s like. This man clearly has no idea what he’s doing, I’m going to run away after all. But then he suddenly tells her they’re going to take a “break”. He drags her into the bar before she can protest or try to run. She tries to say no to a drink, but then he asks if she does drink and she’s like “well I do, but...” and you start seeing the differences here. In English she makes a comment of “Ugh, if only he wasn’t so charming.” Sirius further insists only one drink, even though MC tries to say she needs to go find Robin. He then just straight up orders drinks for them, despite her protesting. She then agrees, and then mentally apologizes to Robin. (Mistake #3) And we start seeing the biggest differences about right here...

For this chapter, let’s play a guessing game on which one is the Japanese version and which one is the English version, shall we? :)

Away from the table, Sirius plants a palm on the counter. Two of the usual are set out before him, bubbles frothing over the top. Sirius glances back and finds MC staring at the patterns in the wood grain. Sirius: Much obliged. Tavern Keeper: Mm-hmm. Scooping up the fizzing, popping tumblers, he tosses a wink at the tavern keeper. Then, he strolls back to spend time with his new friend. - Away from the table, Sirius plants a palm on the counter. Immediately two of the usual shot glasses are set out in front of him. Just to make sure, he looks back at MC, who is staring at the table. Sirius: Ah, thanks. Tavern Keeper: Mhm. Sirius skillfully drops the tablet he had hidden between his fingers into the shot glass of the opposite hand. Then, feigning a nonchalant look, he returns back to the table.

Did you guess which one was which in this part? :) And yes, my friends. In the fucking CANON MAIN ROUTE, it deadass has a line saying that our love interest puts a drug in our drinks. And yet...the Japanese fans still love him! Ugh. Also, that “skillfully” bit really concerns me. That kinda implies that he’s done it multiple times before, does it not??? Honestly I’m not really sure why it says it was a shot glass in the Japanese, though. I thought they were drinking like cocktails, not taking a shot. Maybe that’s why they changed that bit...? Now the stories are the same again for a tiny bit. Some time has passed that they’ve been in the bar/tavern and MC chugs her drink and slams it down on the table. She seems drunk. She’s rambling about Guy and Jasper. Like “I’m not an object!!” “and he’s like “Yes, yes, you aren’t an object.” then like “Who goes around saying stuff like “you are mine” and “give me your power”?? Like seriously! Who says that sort of stuff! It’s so messed up!” and he just listens along, amused. He then says that it’s good to drink sometimes, and she agrees, and then he asks what she wants to do. She notes how she’s only had one drink, yet her head feels a bit fuzzy already, and how it made her very talkative. She says she wants to go home. She reveals that her family died, and that she has a hair clip in her hair from her mom that’s very important to her. She mentions how there are still good people in this world, though.  Sirius tries to order her another drink, and here’s where stuff deviates again.

Sirius: Another of the same, if you please. MC: What, no! I’m fine MC: So hey, you’ve been fantastic company but I really need to go find Robin. (Man I got way too into that conversation.) (Robin must be out there looking for me.) MC: Thanks for the drink, though. You’re a really good listener. And also...really, really pretty. MC: It’s been great meeting you. Maybe I’ll see you around sometime? MC: Like...when I’m not looking for my cat. That’d be...nice.” (I have no filter. No filter whatsoever.) MC: Right, so...Bye... He stands up right as I do. The rickety old table wobbles between us and I pitch into his arms. Sirius: Steady on. Sirius: I might almost think you’ve fallen for me. (Fallen for him? But I’ve only just met the man.) Sirius holds me steady as I smile up at him, feeling silly but bold. He’s even more handsome up close. MC: Like I said, very attractive but...gotta go. Sirius: Hold fast. MC: Haha. Did you just pick me up?! Sirius hefts me into his arms like I weigh nothing, and for a moment I feel like I’m being carried off into the sunset. An electrifying thrill runs through me as I sway against him, adn then I realize we’re moving. MC: Where are we going? Sirius: ... MC: The look he gives me then makes my eyebrows shoot up. I nod and let him carry on. (English version, Mistake #4) When I next open my eyes, I’m being placed down on something fluffy. (I can’t believe I’m actually doing this. I should leave well enough alone but there’s something about him...) I peer at the unfamiliar ceiling overhead while Sirius stares down in my eyes. Sirius: No need to hurry. Sirius: The night’s just begun, after all. (Wait a second, aren’t you...?) The seductive smile on his face comes closer. For a split second he reminds me of someone, but it must be my imagination. - Sirius: Bartender, another of the same. MC: Ah, no, I’m good! MC: I really need to go find Robin. (Yikes, I got totally absorbed in that conversation.) (Surely Robin is looking for me, too) MC: Thanks...for talking with me...and listening... MC: Thanks to that I’ll be sure to...remember this... MC: From now on, I’m going...to study...more seriously...for sure.... (Wha...I’m so dizzy...) MC: Sorry...I’m...leaving now... Sirius: Whoa, hold on. MC: Ah... Unsteady on my feet, Sirius picks me up and holds me in his arms. I feel swaying and I open my eyes slightly. I’m being carried somewhere. MC: Where...are we going...? Sirius: ... Strangely, it feels like the ceiling has gotten awfully high... The next thing I’m aware of when I open my eyes is being placed down on something fluffy. (Where am I...?) I gaze at the ceiling above me and Sirius looks into my eyes. Sirius: Let’s take it slowly. Sirius: The night has just begun, no? (Huh...?) Laughing mysteriously, the man’s face comes closer. For a second, I think he looks similar to someone. But it’s just my imagination, right...?

I’m sure you can guess which one is which. One is extremely alarming, the other is cringe. It’s clear they did the most they could to try and make it consensual between them, and ended up doing exactly what I thought with having her make several comments about how attractive he is and then add some playful flirting between them. 😖 Alright! Ready for the next part? 

1st Interlude

I just read the normal first interlude in Japanese before typing out this post and...god, I thought the premium interlude was bad. So, one more time, trigger warning for sexual assault. Damn I really don’t want to write this part, I’m so tired from writing the rest TT (I saved this for last, unfortunately.) I’m not translating all of these so I’ll do a mix of translating exact lines and summarization. In all the stories, first she calls out Jasper’s name at first, confused, and then Sirius looks shocked. And she’s like, how weird, why would I call him that...he’s clearly Sirius...and then they all start to deviate. ><

Normal Interlude

Japanese version (this is the worst one): MC: I’m sorry...I must’ve gotten drunk, sorry for the trouble... Sirius: So you’re apologizing in this situation. (This...situation...?) He kisses her. (Wha...I’m being...kissed...) I’m aware of it, but my body feels so heavy, I can’t resist it. With my arms pinned to the bed, I’m forced to accept the kiss. He says “what is this power?” and then she sees an aura flare up around him. She asks if it’s magic, and he says that it’s interesting, and then asks if it has to do with the length of time or the type of physical contact. -- Sirius: Is it only your lips, or...? His finger runs along my knee, tickling it. With his other hand, he skillfully slips his hand into my shirt. Sirius: No need to be alarmed. Sirius: I simply wish to confirm. (Confirm...?) Sirius: So soft and smooth, you feel nice to touch. Sirius: But, I don’t feel anything from just touching you... Sirius: Is it different depending on where I touch? The sensation of him stroking my skin falsely spreads through my whole body while his fingertips make their way down to my lower limbs. I move my shoulders to try to tell him “I don’t want you to touch me!”, but it doesn’t matter as his fingertips continue to try to uncover something. MC: St...stop it... Yelling out makes him stop--at least, that’s what I had thought. However,  the thing that stops him isn’t my voice. He removes his hand that was feeling around in my shirt and then starts to think about something. (Is he...searching for something...?) Sirius: ...so it can’t be transferred through the skin, hm. (W-what...?) It’s finally over--is what I thought, at least. This time, he drops kisses on my ears and collarbone. When he puts his hands on my thighs again, I want to run away immediately. (Why...? Why is this happening...?) MC: Is this...is this a dream...? Sirius: Yes. It’s a dream. So, goodnight. Sirius: You’re about to reach the limit, aren’t you? (Limit? What is he talking about?) Even if I wanted to think about it, my head is too fuzzy and I can’t think of anything. I don’t like it, but...what is it I don’t like? Surely it was something important, but I can’t remember. Before I could say “I’m sorry, I’m really sleepy” my consciousness blacks out. She passes out and Sirius says something about how interesting it is, and that he must report his findings to Guy.

English version: MC: Sorry, I can’t believe I called you by the wrong name. Sirius: Is this the time for apologies? (I guess not...?) He kisses her. (We’re kissing. I’m kissing Sirius...) He’s certainly attractive enough. I’m not attached to anyone here, and yet...Why is it that I keep thinking of Jasper? He says “what is this power?” and then she sees an aura flare up around him. She asks if it’s magic, and he says that it’s interesting, and then asks if it has to do with the length of time or the type of physical contact. -- Sirius: Is it only your lips, or...? His fingers walk along my knee, tickling me. I shiver and grin as he gives me a considering look, then slips his hand inside my shirt. -- Sirius: I only wish to see what you’re capable of. (Strangest bedroom talk ever.) Sirius: You’re exquisite. Soft, smooth, perfect to the touch... Sirius: But I seek other responses. Sirius: Tell me, is this where you want to be touched? He peers down at me expectantly, hands petting along my skin as if to encourage me to speak. I squeeze my thighs together, hoping he’ll continue without the need for words. He raises an eyebrow. MC: Sirius, I need... At first I think the sound of my voice has given him pause. Then I realize something else has happened. He tidies my open shirt a little and frowns thoughtfully. (What is he doing? What is it he’s looking for?) Sirius: Hm, no transfer from the skin. (Uh, what?) My mouth falls open. Has the moment been ruined somehow? If so, what’d I do? But then he plants tiny kisses over my ears, neck, and cheeks. His hands sweep over me once more, but far more soothingly. Still, I can’t get the image of Jasper out of my mind. (I can’t be doing this. It’s not fair to be thinking of one man when I’m with another. I need to sort my head out.) MC: Sirius, I can’t do this. I’m...I think I’m developing feelings for someone else, so it wouldn’t be fair to you to do this... Sirius: Well, well. There’s an unexpected turn. ...All right. We’ll think of this as nothing more than a passing dream. Sirius: This never happened then. Good night, MC. (Good night? But we’ve only just...) Suddenly I feel very drowsy. A second ago I wanted nothing more than a crazy, one-night romp with a man who has crystalline red eyes. Now I can’t think of anything but how comfortable this bed is. She passes out and Sirius says something about how interesting it is, and that he must report his findings to Guy. --

Yikes!!!!! I was so shocked when I read the normal interlude!! Especially the Japanese version!! Now for the other one...

Premium Interlude

Japanese version:

MC: I’m sorry...I must’ve gotten drunk, sorry for the trouble... Sirius: So you’re apologizing in this situation. (This...situation...?) His voice is close.  But besides that, I don’t understand the situation very well. Sirius: Is it hard to open your eyes? MC: Yes... Sirius: I’ll make you feel better right now. (Feel better...?) She sees him put in eyedrops. She tries to ask but her voice is really quiet and her throat is dry. MC: Excuse me, could...could I have some water?”  Sirius: I’ll give you some right now I felt something cold touch my lips and water poured down my throat. MC: ...nng (No...it’s something else. I’m...being kissed...) I understand that, but, but I feel too drowsy to be able to resist.  With my arms pinned to the bed, I’m forced to accept the kiss. He says “what is this power?” and then she sees an aura flare up around him. She asks if it’s magic, and he says that it’s interesting, and then asks if it has to do with the length of time or the type of physical contact. (What...this kiss...) It’s a kiss that makes me feel as if I’ll be swallowed by the torrent of pleasure. (I’ve never experienced something like this...) Sirius: Ha...ahh... MC: ...mm, Sirius... His lips pull away with a wet sound and I sigh. Sirius: It’s as I thought... MC: Stop...it...already... Sirius: Shhh... Sirius: Be quiet. I’m going to make you feel better. He wipes his finger along my wet lips and pushes it inside my mouth. My shoulders jump and I shiver and inhale sharply, feeling like I’m being bitten on the neck by Sirius. MC: Mnn... Sirius: Suck... He moves his finger around my mouth and I move my tongue as I’m told. Sirius: That’s it good girl... Sirius: ...so it can’t be transferred through the skin, hm. (What...is he talking about...?) Sirius: How about...here? He removes his finger from my mouth and strokes my knee. MC asks if it’s a dream, and the rest of the interlude ends the same way as the normal Japanese interlude ends.

English version:

MC: Sorry, I can’t believe I called you by the wrong name. Sirius: Is this the time for apologies? (I guess not...?) I can almost feel his voice vibrate against my skin. Shivering at the sensation, I let my head fall against the pillows. Sirius: Would you rather keep your eyes closed at the moment? MC: Mm. yeah. I like the sound of your voice. It...reminds me of someone... Sirius: Then keep them closed. Sirius tells her to hold on a minute and puts in eyedrops. MC says her throat is dry and asks for some water. He gives her water, but she realizes that it’s not a cup but rather him giving her water from his lips. -- They kiss. (Who taught him to kiss like this?) It’s like some dam has burst within me and a tide of pleasure is threatening to sweet me away. (I’ve never experienced anything like this. Is this magic, too, or just him?) Sirius: Mm..Yes... MC: Ah...Sirius... A wanton moan escapes me as he gives me space to breathe. The thing is, in my mind’s eye I keep seeing someone else. Sirius: Quite as I suspected. MC: That was incredible. What was-- Sirius: Shh. Hush now. I’ll fufill that yearning of yours. He rubs his thumb against my dampened bottom lip then slips it inside my mouth. My shoulders jump as he moves his lips and teeth over my neck. Sirius: Suck. I obediently swirl my tongue over his thumb, taking it in further. Sirius: Good girl. -- Then she says she can’t do it because of having feelings for someone else, just like in the normal English and the rest of the interlude continues the exact same way.

I can’t believe Voltage was really like “hey, pay us and we’ll make the content less rape-y for you! :)” Big yikes lol. I’d only read the premium at the time of my original post, and I thought that was bad enough to write a post about it. That normal interlude though? YIKES. Like...gahhh I know I already said this same thing like three times earlier but I’m just so grossed out!!

Also, a quick note. The CG for this has Sirius laying on top of her while she has her eyes closed. This is because she’s UNCONSCIOUS in the Japanese version. I was wondering how they were gonna get around it, but like not long before it came out I was like “oh they can just have him comment telling her to close her eyes or something” and I guess that’s more or less what they did...?

Chapter 9

Okay so I realize I did make a slight translation error in my original post about the ninth chapter. She does indeed say “I don’t have a headache” rather than what I had thought it said which was “My head hurts, but it can’t be a hangover.”  which is what they went with in the English. “My head doesn’t hurt, though, which suggests I don’t have a hangover.” The rest seems about right, though. Anyways, so this chapter starts the morning after the events of the first interlude with MC waking up in the strange bedroom. While not technically as big of change as in Chapter 8 and the first interlude, this is also one of the most changed chapters between versions. 

The Japanese version:

(Where am I?) I open my eyes and am unable to move at first. ---- (Robin and I got separated in town...so I was searching for him) (And then...ah, yeah, I met Sirius) (He was showing me the way...and then there was that bar on the dark street where I was only going to drink one drink, and then...) .... ....... .......... “Shit, I can’t remember anything...” I’m not sure how I got to this room or what happened after I blacked out. My head doesn’t hurt, so it’s not a hangover.  I only had one drink, that’s the one thing I CAN remember. “No way...” Nervously, I run my hands down my body.  The hem of my shirt was untucked, all the buttons completely undone, and my skirt was rolled up past my thighs.  (I want to think it’s just from how I slept...I really want to think that, but...)  Being drunk can make you roll around and do that. I can’t hide how anxious I am about this unexpected situation. My heart thumps painfully in my chest and my legs shake. ---- (Huh? A tattoo?) I see Sirius taking a shower in the other room, with a tattoo spread across his back. (That would mean Sirius and I...) Looking at the bed with disheveled sheets, I wrap my arms around my body and hug myself tightly. “Maybe...maybe we just slept, that’s all...” (It’s a pitiful excuse, I know.) (Oh my god!! I need to go find Robin!!) Remembering something very important, she runs out of the room. ---- Sirius: “Ha, she ran away.”

English version:

Where am I? I open my eyes and stay perfectly still for the first few minutes. ---- (I got separated from Robin in town and while I was looking for him I, ended up lost.) (And then...Oh right, I met Sirius. Man, he was attractive.) (He was showing me the way, then we paused for a drink, and then...) Then...Hmm. What did happen? I’m drawing a blank here. “What the? I have no memory of last night.” I have no idea where this is or the events that led to me waking up here. There are flashes of groans and sighs, but that’s all. My head doesn’t hurt, though, which suggests I don’t have a hangover. Not that I’d expect to have one over a single drink, but I remember that drink being similar to a potion. “Uh-oh. Did I hook up with someone?” I carefully pat myself down. My shirt’s untucked, the buttons are undone, and my skirt’s hiked up around my thighs. (Then again, I could’ve just slept weird. Here’s hoping.) I’ve definitely rolled around in my sleep while drunk before. Still, I never thought I’d have to do a walk of shame in another realm. My heart pounds as I look around, trying to figure out who I spent the night with. (Did I somehow manage to book a room for myself? With what coin?) (It’s like everything that happened since I got here caught up to me all at once. What did I do...?) ---- “What was that?” (A tattoo? It was a gorgeous one, if so.) (The question is, how acquainted did I become with that tattoo last night?) The rumbled bedding comes back into view as I put my head in my hands. “Maybe we just crashed here together after our drink.” “...” (Pitiful excuse, but I’ll take it for now.) (Wait, Robin! Oh god. I have to go find him.) I run out of the room as soon as I remember. Given how little of the situation I remember, it’s probably better if we put that night behind us. ---- Sirius: “Alas. She has absconded.”

Then after she leaves, it goes about the same in both versions. She finds Robin at the gates, is rushing to Toa’s class, gets stopped by Jasper. His voice reminds her of Sirius. He then teases her for being late and is like “You said you were going to go back to your room last night, but it seems like you went out and had fun instead.” and she snaps at him and says she didn’t. He acts surprised. She apologizes and walks off, embarrassed. He laughs.

So. Yeah. One of them, MC wakes up confused after being drugged and raped and is trying to process that and then remembers Robin, runs back to the dorms, and has to deal with Jasper teasing her saying she went out and had “fun” which triggers extremely fresh, bad memories. While the other one...MC is like. Did I hook up with someone?? Whoopsies! Hm, I wonder how I did that. Oh but that Sirius guy was SO hot. Oh shit! I have a cat that’s missing! Gotta go. And then Jasper teases her but she just gets upset because she feels embarrassed about hooking up with someone. Neat. Also, what is with Voltage and their obsession with using “abscond”???

----

Are you feeling uncomfortable right now? A little horrified that Voltage would write a story like that, and romanticize it? Awesome! Me too! Let’s take a break here before moving on. Thankfully, the next parts won’t contain anything near as triggering as the first interlude and chapter 9. 

(Next post currently in progress, will add link as soon as possible! This is taking much longer than I thought it would to write;;;)

[hugthepanda12]

Bobo rant

Ok, @narvana27 this one’s for you coz I’ve mustered up some motivation to finally write some analyses just like you or @medeaminte​

This one will cover our beautiful Brazillian boy Raimundo Pedrosa. Some spoilers are inevitable to mention, but the main focus is on the episode titled ‘The Return of Master Monk Guan’.

1.1 short synopsis of the episode:

Master Fung, seeing how the forces of evil grew in power, decides to send monks to another temple for their training. It turns out the new master that is destined to teach them is Master Monk Guan. 

As for his methods, they are surprisingly cruel. Our heroes are not allowed to take breaks or even ASK QUESTIONS! Guan becomes that horrible general in military school who likes when cadets are blindly following his orders and train to the point they collapse due to severe exhaustion. 

Rai, of course, sees that the way Guan treats his students is unfair and stands up for the rest. Which ends up bad for him. Guan punishes him with additional training and what is worse humiliates him through giving him insulting nicknames! Later on, the audience learns that this disrespectful behaviour of Master Guan was intentional. What is more, Raimundo knows about it as well. It was a part of the agreement between them, reached off screen without the knowledge of the other monks. The main goal of such a strategy was to lure Hannibal Roy Bean out of his hiding, let him believe Rai is ready to turn to the Heylin side (again) and snatch the Treasure of the Blind Swordsman from his little evil vines. 

As the episode reaches its end, this plan as well ends in success. Bean is mad as hell and promises Raimundo that he’ll pay for it. Yeah, yeah happy ending. Cool. Rai gets one of the Spears of Guan as a gift for a succesfull colaboration with Master Monk Guan bla blah 

BUT!

Even if it was all the play on Guan and Rai’s part throughout the whole episode, in my opionion Guan was too harsh anyway. I get it. He had to be plausible, but man... Rai literally cried when he banished him from the temple!  

And this is an issue I wanted to talk about. 

1.2. Let’s look at all ‘nicknames’ Guan came up with for Raimundo. 

1. Young prince 2. bobo

3. someone dark, ruthless, shady, rebelious

I WANT TO PROVE RAI. IS. NOT. ANY OF THESE. 

1.2.1.The insult ‘young prince’ (or princess) is often used when a young person is too lazy to finish chores or he/she is not willing to do them at all. Maybe it was Raimundo in s01, although he had never said ‘no’ to master Fung. He just wanted to go easy way, like swiping the dirt under the sofa instead of getting rid of it in a proper way. But mind you, it is season 3 and this boy has changed a lot. Sometimes you don’t have to work hard to get your task done. All it takes is an adequate situation assessment and good organisation of your work.

 It looks as if Guan just doesn’t get it. Just like how vital breaks are in order to rise productivity. 

Rai made a right decision to stop training and lay on the grass. He knows what’s good for him and he stands by this intention to REST. Life is not ALWAYS about saving the world. He’s just a kid. Just like Omi, Kimiko or Clay. He’s defending his boundaries, but it appears no one’s respecting that choice. 

1.2.2. What about Bobo? Up to this day I thought that Guan wanted to underline that Rai acts like a clown, so he gave him a clown name. However, I came across this site. And guess. Bobo in Portuguese means ‘silly.’

And my question is: Did Guan know? Hmm!? Did you know about it, Guan? If yes, I’m very disappointed in you. ‘Silly little clown boy’ - this is what Rai is? No, it’s not like he was the only one brave enough to fight Mala Mala Jong... or EVEN OMI when he turned heylin!

It’s not like he has feelings or something... He’s the fun guy! Always chill! Not allowed to cry! His purpose is to entertain the rest, righ?

NO. Rai is not only a capable warrior but also a very dedicated friend, who can sacrifice ANYTHING in order to save the rest. Let’s ennumerate how many people he saved throughout the series. People who live near the vulcano in Brazil, that Lady who turned out to be the Bird of Paradise.... OMI. The rest of his team a couple of times... 

And what is more, every encounter TAUGHT HIM SOMETHING or had left some scars. He was possessed by Wuya, got beat up, and constantly he is accused of having EVIL TENDENCIES. What? Because ONE TIME he betrayed them? And that betrayal was justified because he felt hella ineadequate? 

But yeah, Guan. Go on. He is just silly to get all the punches for the team. It’s not like he isn’t bothered when the forces of evil are victorious.

Not at all. 

1.2.3. Ok, I agree Rai is rebelious, but as I mentioned earlier - HE HAS REASONS to be that way. He feels something is wrong - he exclaims why this is wrong and tries to FIX IT with the help or without it. The thing is, in s1-2 prefers facing problems alone due to that inadequacy he’s often reminded of by his peers. It’s sad to see that monks never realised Raimundo feels that way. Luckily, in season 3 Rai grew as a character. He displays more and more leader characteristics. He comes up with better strategy and is ore connected to his friends. As a result their cooperation during fights is on a higher level, just like in the last showdown in that alternate timeline. 

DARK, RUTHLESS, SHADY. - those are lies and I won’t comment on that

He can be ruthless only if someone hurts his family and friends. They’re gonna pay for that. Respect Rai for that. 

2. My opinion on  ‘ The Return of Master Monk Guan’

2.1. Guan’s behaviour - this post is about it. Just wanted to add he is very inconsistent as a character and writers probably had no idea how to write him so they just randomly threw him to some plot points in order to give episodes smooth flow between scenes. 

But yeah in that particular ep Guan is a jerk. First kidnapping Dojo, then overworking children only to kick out the most responsible one outta his temple with numerous sculptures of him, Dashi and replicas of his fav spear.

2.2 Monks’ behaviour - wanted to help, turned out bad. Omi as always was questioning Rai’s value and laughed at him bc of his new nicknames. Very mature of the chosen one, really. 

2.3 My review

This episode was good because:

1. It's rai-centered

2. He put to use that clever brain of his and gave master Guan the idea how to retrieve the most powerful wu from Bean

3. He can KICK ASS, only refuses to use that against his friends. 4. good preparation for cheeseball to reconsider he's NOT ALWAYS THE BEST and should be aware of Raimundo's skills

2.4. Summary

Raimundo Pedrosa has one of the best character developments in animation history but most importantly he is the complete opposite of those things the other characters tell him he is. He learns from his mistakes and utilises the knowledge for his benefit to protect what he believes is right. He’s very compassionate young man, who can do great things and he WILL with guidance of his temple family.

But most importantly, he well deserved the position of the Xiaolin Leader. His name is not Bobo. Only Raimundo Pedrosa. Good friend, leader, warrior, the future hope for making the world a better place.